#art to fund recovery

[recoverylife81]

[abby-howard]

Some folks were asking for my boiled peanuts recipe (as they feature in our game, Scarlet Hollow, and we made a big batch this past weekend), but it's unfortunately a bit difficult for me to post with lightness in my heart right now because this past weekend the entirety of western North Carolina, where Scarlet Hollow takes place, was devastated by hurricane Helene.

Towns I have been to and have fond memories of have been described as "washed away." The region is almost entirely still out of power, the water is all contaminated with repair efforts expected to take weeks, and there are hundreds of people stranded, including my relatives, as roads have been totally destroyed. My uncle sent a photo of the road near his house, thankfully his home is okay but I have to image it's going to take a while for roads like this to see repairs:

I know this photo has been making the rounds, but it bears posting for those who haven't seen it-- the main strip of Chimney Rock, before and after:

Trees, cars, buildings, everything is gone. And now all that debris is just sitting in lakes and rivers. This is Lake Lure today:

Pictures from Swannanoa, an absolutely lovely town with so much character, where my sister went to folk music camp as a teen, where mobile home parks were hit hardest-- people's houses just floated away downriver:

And of course Asheville is the town most people will have heard of. A city of 95k, completely isolated in the days after the storm. The River Arts District was still underwater as of yesterday:

People throughout the entire region are without power and transport and fuel and water and food, they've lost their homes and their businesses, and people have had to resort to hiking to reach loved ones to see if they're safe or whether their homes were just wiped off the face of the earth-- hundreds are still missing because it's been so difficult to get in contact with people in these isolated, rural communities that are now nearly impossible to get to because roads were washed away or collapsed in landslides.

I honestly don't even know where to start when it comes to relief funds or ways that people can help. I've been listening to the local radio station and it sounds like the area is in shock, people are coming in to help pick up the pieces but there is so much recovery that will have to happen that it's hard to know where to start.

This article from the Citizen Times has a list of places that are currently helping with relief efforts.

It's absolutely unfathomable that a hurricane could hit the mountains. The effects of this are going to be felt in western NC for a long time, and my heart goes out to everyone who is currently stranded or trying to get in touch with people who are.

[2sgf]

Solstice ☀️ Sol ☀️ Sunny

he/him ⭐ they/them ⭐ she/her

28 years old ; tme two-spirit first nations wo/man

@mermen is my moonlight 🌙

★ minors do not follow or interact thank you

☆ white supremacists, transmisogynists, sex bioessentiallists, TERFs, and anyone who follow these kinds of beliefs will be blocked

★ if you notice i've interacted with anyone who follows the above ideology or they have interacted with me, please let me know! i might have not noticed

☆ feel free to dm me any donation posts or anything else you need boosted. i will do my best to boost it during the day.

★ i always read abouts, carrds, rentrys, & pinned posts! i might forget to like posts after, or might unlike them after some time to keep my likes clean

☆ i try to keep others' blacklists in mind but if i forgot to tag something, feel free to send me an ask or a message! i will do my best to remember but the dissociation might fuck with me so if it's something important but niche you need tagged, i might need multiple reminders so just unfollow if you're worried about it...

★ disabled, neurodivergent polyfrag system

☆ remade on july 18th 2024

art blog: @solsunbeam

more about under the cut! ^^ not necessary to read

☀ my socio-political beliefs: land back, pro palestine, anti-colonization, harm reductionist, anti-canada and anti-usa, anti capitalism, defund & dismantle the police, prison abolitionist, anti child family services, pro family reunification, better funding for social services, pro universal healthcare (including mental health resources, optometry, AND dentistry), antipsychiatry, pro universal basic income, decriminalize drugs, sex bioessentialism is rooted in white supremacy, and may all the catholic churches burn down thank you

☼ i don't 'debate' any of the above with anon asks. if you want more info on why i hold these beliefs, you can ask me privately via message. though, i may block you if your vibes are bad. if you deeply disagree with the above, then i rather you block me than try to convince me otherwise. i'll save us both the time and just block you.

☀ in general i block whenever i feel i need to

☼ i occasionally post about the above, but this blog will also contain a mish-mash of my interests, personal posts, fashion pictures, nature pics, and like.... idk whatever ✌🏽

☀ mutuals this is your sign to ASK FOR MY DISCORD! come. enter my dms. let me send you pictures of my cats.

☼ interests: poetry, art, films, fashion, video games, animation, plants, comics, child welfare, trauma recovery, disability rights, tarot, witchcraft, the occult, linguistics, lolita fashion, and all kinds of other stuff

☀ video games: kingdom hearts, fire emblem, legend of zelda, animal crossing, final fantasy, supergiant's hades, minecraft, mario bros, pokemon (mostly gens 1-5), sonic the hedgehog, undertale, deltarune, // anime/manga: witch hat atelier, dungeon meshi, sailor moon, revolutionary girl utena, yugioh duel monsters, card captor sakura, madoka magica, hunter x hunter, ghibli movies, and other stuff lol

☼ alters may or might not tag their posts as [alter name].txt feel free to refer to them as their name! but we all respond to the collective name as well <3

☀ my final message...... peas and lov on planet erth....... goodnight

[aicosu]

Guys, I hate to do this.

Any of you who know me in any circle know that I'm a very professional, very private lady who hates any sort of disc horse breeds that might give me a headache. But this one is important, and my goal here is the integrity and reputation of artists.

For my credentials: I have been a part of five zines in the past. Two I moderated, and one I ran, created, laid out, printed, and shipped in its entirety.

So anyway:

HELLCHEER ZINE BULLSHIT

I joined Hellcheer and the Kindred Freaks Zine very late. Well, after sign ups, check-ins, etc. I saw it was happening in april-ish and shot a DM to the twitter to join. I did both a full art page and a cosplay page.

At the time, the server was quiet but kind. We got updates on the number of orders and books being made.

@Lawless is the runner of the Zine. They created and organized it. They are in charge of the main emails, the selling website, the orders, the shipping, and the funds. (To be clear, this level of sole responsibility is not ABNORMAL in a zine. And is not always an issue.)

@Valerie is the 'social media' mod. They are in charge of managing announcements and answering questions on Twitter and Tumblr. Please keep in mind: No one wants anything but a fast and easy recovery for both Lawless and their mother. Medical emergencies, heck—LIFE happens. It's always okay to put a hiatus on anything, even product with money, in order to take care of yourself and family. Every single contributor only wants them to be clear in what they need and how we can help.

So lets break down what's happening.

Back in May, Lawless went radio silent on the status of books and merch coming in. Another contributor and I, @Toguchin, start dming Lawless to make sure everything is on track. They come back after a week and apologize for being MIA, explaining that their mom got sick. We thank them for all their hard work and wish them and their mom well.

On July 15th, after contributors and customers inquire on delays to meeting the announced shipping deadline, Lawless makes a twitter post saying shipping has started and contributor copies will be happening. They proceeded to go MIA from the server discord and have been since.

The following week, contributors and customers discover that shipping HAS NOT started. Labels have been created and printed, but nothing appears to be in transit at all.

Toguchin and I started getting reached out to by customers worrying their packages are lost. We report this to the zine server to NO RESPONSE. Except @Ashlee, the discord mod who also has heard nothing.

July 20th to 22nd with customers complaining and theorizing a scam in mind; Toguchin and I propose that PDFs be given out to assure and apologize for delays.

We as a server discover a few things: 1. We cannot access the list of buyers at all in order to email apology zines because Lawless did not share the account information with anyone. 2. We cannot access the main email for the same reason. 3. Valerie, the social media mod, deleted discord and distanced themselves from the Hellcheer fandom and has not been checking the Twitter or tumblr, or discord notifications since May.

Ashlee and Ichikun contact Valerie to sign on.

I made a new email and said fuck it, we need to do something to assuage fears, let them send receipts to honor their zines. Valerie didn't know what to post or say or how to answer everyone, so I gave them a copy paste.

Still no words from Lawless but hoping for the best knowing the have a medical emergency, Ashlee and I begin answering the new email for PDFs, but cant help people change addresses or give them any update!!!

Throughout the weeks mods and contributors ping Lawless constantly asking if they need any help! Any help at all, answering emails, changing order addresses, heck a few of us ask if we can pick up the books and packages and ship stuff for them so they can hands off the project and take care of their mom. No response.

We send message after message saying if Lawless can share picture proof, that would be great cause scam theories and chargebacks are starting. BUT ALSO, we let Lawless know we and customers will ABSOLUTELY UNDERSTAND delays if they just communicate it. That if they post in server and on Twitter that shipping needs to wait a month or two, no one will mind. No responses.

July 31, Lawless makes a Twitter update with comments disabled that they are shipping ALL packages that monday with a picture of packages. They also call Valerie privately and tell the issue that USPS refuses to pick up shipments from Lawless has, and they can't leave their mothers side from the post office. They also claim they can only deliver ten packages at a time at the post when they go. *USPS has no such rules. Me and other mutuals who run shops have never had such a problem.

A week later, we realize that customers and our packages are still not in transit. Labels printed only. Most of us assume all packages are just label printed and sitting at Lawless' house.

We beg for updates from Valerie or Lawless. Valerie doubles down on Lawless old reasonings and also officially goes MIA until present day.

Throughout August, USA packages get delivered. A few more updates are made straight to Twitter and Tumblr with comments off. Radio silence in server.

As packages arrive, we all become aware from people's posts and pictures that random Stranger Things Art Stickers are included. No credit to any artist is given? No contributor is responsible for this art. These are suspected to be BOUGHT from Amazon. STOLEN arts amazon sellers resell in packs. NO contributor is okay with this!!! Valerie responds with no response at all.

As of now:

No response to missing digital copies. Ashlee and I cannot give out any without receipts because we have no access to buyers list. Nor can we answer missing packages inquiries cause we have no info. International packages unaccounted for. SCRUNCHIES FREE OR OTHERWISE UNACCOUNTED FOR. Zero word on contributor copies. Zero word on donation status. Zero word on generated profit or book and shipping cost. No way to verify funds at all. No word from Lawless to contributors since July 15. From Valerie since the 31st.

Some notes:

Turning off twitter comments was NEVER what any one of us wanted. A ZINE LAYOUT was never shared. So until people had them in hand or in PDF none of us realized that the credits DO NOT POINT TO ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. All of our usernames are handle-less? This was extremely disappointing. This one matters to me: Our FanEdit artist was not aware their work was not getting a full page. Again no pre-layout was shared. So their work is tiny and in the margins of the front and back. That's not okay. All of us wanted to help in any way we could. NONE of us doubt Lawless intentions or emergencies. But lying, misleading, non-communicating and turning off comments are all things we did not consent to. All of us only wanted a cordial, honest response. None of us actually cared about delays as much as we did communications. There has been many noticeable times Lawless has been online, posting privately or otherwise, even active on Discord and has not reached out.

Why make a post:

Customers should know contributors fought for them. That we did everything we could and our reputation as artists in the fandom shouldn't be tarnished cause two creators decided to disappear. Contributors should get their copies. Many of us BOUGHT bundles. I've been in five zines and every single one gave out free contributor copies WITH merch!!

I'm also attaching all server screenshots for integrity. I'm in half a mind to release the zine PDF publicly, for free, for everyone at this point. I personally think it's only fair since many are still missing just that. But I do not want to insult anyone who paid for just the PDF regardless of the potential contribution to charity. But it's really up to customers, not me.

[cherrysurf]

Mentanoia |Atsumu Miya X Reader

Calm collected crashouts introductions;

Yn ln a fashion editorial major, she also invests in stocks (kenma made her) her favorite phrase at the moment is “freak-ahh [whoever’s name]” she loves matcha and cats, she’s an advocate for women hating on men who deserve to be hated on. Yes she was the girl who snuck a cat into the classroom on the first day actually, she’s funny outgoing, kinda outta pocket, but super sweet overall

Osamu Miya cullinary major, with a minor in chem (hence why people more specifically yn asks him to posion food) he’s “mysterious” and likes to keep to himself but is very comfortable with his small friend group the calm collected crashouts, sometimes he does get inter tangled with his twin brother atsumu’s friend group which he doesn’t mind. He’ll occasionally cook for his friends if and when he feels nice or in the mood. His past time is beefing with TikTok chefs it’s his form of happiness and humor which is also why he has 1,000 followers

Kiyoko shimizuk she’s an art major aesthetic without even trying, she’s super sweet and talented, always keeps yn in check. She bakes whenever Osamu decides to make dinner for the group, has the best strawberry shortcake recipe that tsukishima as been begging for. She’s a trust fund baby, and is always dragging along the group to art galas whenever she gets the chance, she’s also a matcha lover just like yn and her and yn are childhood best friends

Kenma Kozume hes a game developer major he met yn on the first day when she snuck a cat into class and deemed her to be his trusty friend in this class, which later led on to becoming best friends he’s quiet but the biggest shit talker actually helps osamu beef with TikTok chefs on the internet, pays kiyoko to make him apple pie, as if stocks don’t bring him in enough money he has streaming as another source of income. He doesn’t know how or why he got roped into becoming yn’s “sugar daddy” but it happened he’ll always pay for her but he doesn’t mind.

Keiji akaashi smartest one in the group his side hustle is doing peoples assignments for money (pays him good) the reason why he refuses to do Mr. Somos work is because this teacher is a bitch and his assignments are impossible. Other than that he’s super chill pulls a lot of girls but doesn’t really care for that. Girls fawn over the fact his a literature major because he’s “soft and in touch with his feminine side” but that couldn’t be more opposite. He burps in yn’s ear a little too casually..and is outta pocket sometimes too.

Tsukishima kei this man strawberry short cake obsession grew stronger in college he acts nonchalant but is such a crashout when it comes to certain things he’s the second smartest in the group but is lowkey lazy with work he understands it but rather not do it I mean vaild. He keeps his circle close the farthest he’ll step out his comfort zone is speaking to hinata, bokuto and kuroo but even then he needs a week break of recovery after hanging with them.

Taglist; @heartmaddie @liquidcatt @toorusfangirl @akaashislovee @saintcosette @twiishaa @w2mini @from-mae @exclusiverinaa

[copperbadge]

Radio Free Monday

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

Anon linked to a fundraiser for Davy, a fellow employee at Old Tucson amusement park, who was recently struck by a car while on his bike; he was already low-resourced, and was living in a homeless shelter with his wife and son at the time of the accident. One of the other staff at the park has started a gofundme to help support the family during his long recovery and hopefully get them a stable place to stay; you can read more and support the fundraiser here.

chibifukurou linked to a fundraiser for a fandom friend, Chroma, to get her back home so she can get help with health issues and housing. She's been stranded out of state with severe Long Covid, without access to a support network or adequate care; they're trying to get funds together to get her transportation and a month at an extended-stay hotel while she gets her feet under her. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Help For Free:

songspinner9 is running a Donor's Choose fundraiser for Teacher Appreciation Week, to get funds to stock her library with books that represent her students' communities and for art supplies to help her middle-school students express themselves in creative language arts and history projects. You can read more and vote for the fundraiser here!

News to Know:

soc_puppet linked to summerofthe69, an annual smut fest that is returning for 2024! You can vote here on what this year's themes should be; you need to have a Dreamwidth account to vote, but anyone is welcome to promote their favorites in the comments to the post.

Recurring Needs:

loversdoom is a college student from the Philippines, studying away from her family, and her parents are unexpectedly unable to support her education; she is dealing with a number of expenses and is now looking at costly medical procedures as well. You can read more and reblog here or give to the fundraiser here.

onedollopofsourcream is raising funds to help with food, transportation, medication for their family, and other expenses after a string of financial issues; you can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

rilee16 is raising funds to get out of an abusive home situation where their roommate has been aggressive and stealing from them; with irregular work hours and a tax debt due on top of chronic illness issues, they also need funds to repair their phone, which is dying, and cover utility bills. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.

[redfoxv]

Recovery account for RedFox-77

18+ Account Minors DNI

<About Me>

You can call me Red. 32 year old nonbinary transfem. Pronouns They/Them or She/Her. A select few of you may be given the opportunity to call me a fox boi. Bi/Pan I guess.

I like to make nsfw pics and content. Sometimes I will post my art to this account.

DM's, Asks, Anons, and Submissions are open

Unusual NSFW Ask List || NSFW Ask List

If you are trans or queer feel free to reach out

lil fox yips tag for answers

lil fox pics tag for pictures of me

fox talks tag for status updates and the like

fox thoughts tag for under my breath posts

fox tale tag for nsfw sories/ fiction

<Rules>

Minors, TERFs, bigots, misogynists DNI.

If you don't have something indicating your age, no posts or only reblog porn you are probably gonna get blocked.

Trying to build an active and supportive community here so please be respectful.

<Want More>

My previous account got nuked so a lot of what i post here will be far more tame than what is posted elsewhere. If you enjoy my content and are looking for more I do make custom content. Feel free to DM me with requests or check out my OF. You can also give me a tip if you feel like ^w^

Everything I make from this goes to buying new toys, slutty clothes and funding my transition goals <3

Links

Thank you so much I hope you enjoy ;p

[sqrkyclean]

Hi, um. I'm so sorry if this comes off the wrong way, but- you're- incredibly hot?? I, uh- really like your. Well, belly size, and- I think it looks- so hot and wonderful- and I'm. Very normal about it

HEHE THANK YOUUUU comments like these make outgrowing hundreds of dollars worth of cosplay clothes less than a year after buying them worth it <3

Me being vulnerable talking abt weight and eating disorder and drug addiction stuff under the cut

I was uhhhh misusing prescription adderall for almost a year and I lost about 60 pounds before I quit. I was having dizzy spells constantly and would faint on a semi regular basis and I’d go days on end eating only just enough to keep the hunger pains away cuz it was just that aggressive of an appetite suppressant.

I quit cold turkey about a year ago after realizing that “it’d save me money if I took another pill instead of buying lunch today!” Isn’t a thought that a healthy person has. I’ve gained back all that weight plus another fifteen pounds and I had to get a whole new set of clothes that actually fit me which you guys have helped fund and it means the whole world to me to have that kind of support <3 especially while I make art of people who look like me!

Also I get an erotic thrill looking at these progress pics of me over the last year in the same outfit. so I will share them as well. God bless my fellow fat bitches.

And before you ask yes you’re allowed to sexualize my recovery. It’s how I’m getting through it

[kobold-that-bites-people]

dunno if this will get to anyone that it's relevant to, but as a transfem that's had bottom surgery (a rather standard penile inversion vaginoplasty) and is mostly recovered at this point, i'd like to give a few notes on my experience. hopefully it reaches some people who are considering and would be helped by such anecdotes. anyway, in no particular order,

it's major surgery. recovery is gonna suck about the same as other major surgeries. that said, a lot of the discomfort is frontloaded. in my case, i experienced about 2/3 of the pain i could attribute to recovery over the last six months, in the first week. the sheer drop in pain once the catheter came out alone was night and day. the first week was miserable though, you *need* someone, ideally multiple someones, who can look after you through that stage. (if you are in the green lands of not america, or just are well funded, many hospitals will look after you for the first week or so, but as a broke american i was only in hospital for about a day and a half. maybe two days, memory is a little fuzzy from the opiates (which i stopped almost as soon as i got out of the hospital, the brain fog from opiates is real)

it's been said other places, but it is really likely you will experience a lot of emotions during recovery. this can take a lot of forms, but in my case i had to grapple with a lot of "doubts" about if it was even what i wanted, if it was worth it to me, if it even looked natural enough, and so on. part of that is just that it's a major change in your body image, so doubts are normal and expected. part of it is that after major physical trauma like surgery, your body will amplify a lot of emotions intensely. try not to listen to the dysphoria talking when things still need to heal. the difference between a week from the surgery and a couple months later is *massive*.

this might be obvious to a lot of people, but for people like me that have only ever been even slightly intimate with partners that have cocks, pussies come in a *lot* of shapes. the very limited range depicted in a lot of common art and porn and games and so on, is simply not a representative sample of all the shapes that a pussy can be. despite my anxieties over my own, every person that has seen it so far has either had explicit compliments, or at least backhanded ones about how "normal" it looks.

despite how cautious doctors will be about promising function, it is entirely possible you'll have every function you might expect from a natal vagina. i get a not insignificant amount of self lubrication, can feel everything better than i dared hope for, and despite having to completely relearn what motions work for it i can reliably reach orgasms just as well as i could pre-op. that said, i don't self lubricate quite as much as *some* cis women manage. it's usually enough for fingering myself, but if i wanted to use a toy, or be penetrated by a partner, it simply isn't reasonable to go without generous lube. mostly because while i have some self-lubrication, it isn't exactly produced *quickly*, and friction can quickly dry it up, especially outside my entrance.

dilation can be many things, but it's usually mostly just tedious. it hurt *some* at the start, but once the swelling went down it generally only hurt as i went up a size. nowadays i only feel a miniscule amount of pain with the stretch as i work my largest dilator in, and that fades within about 30 seconds. the better you are at getting it done reliably, the less it will hurt. missing a session, especially earlier in recovery, will be *felt* the next time you dilate.

if you are open about your having had bottom surgery, or end up hospitalized from complications thereof, (as i did, i'll spare the medical details) there are a lot of people that will try to justify wanting to see, for motives that i'll leave as an exercise to the reader to deduce. such people will include doctors, nurses, and plenty of people with more spurious motives. i've had more people barge in on me while i was dilating within the last months since i had bottom surgery, than ever barged in on me while i was masturbating in the earlier 26 years of my life. *please* be aware that part of being perceived as "more a woman" is that you will likely experience more such attentions, in the various forms that takes. sometimes positive it is true, but usually not.

[metmuseum]

The Reception of Louis XIV at the Hôtel de Ville on the Occasion of his Recovery, January 30, 1687. 1687. Credit line: The Elisha Whittelsey Collection, The Elisha Whittelsey Fund, 1956 https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/386305

[recoverylife81]

www.thespaceshop.net Artistic community outreach to fund treatment for those without insurance. Promo code Earlybird for 10% off through June 1st 2023. Help me get some folks that don't have insurance into a drug rehabilitation center locally. I'm hoping to assist 6 people in the next 6 months and to expand my website to promote mental health awareness and provide people fresh in recovery with resources to help them stay clean.

[jesterpunk]

not art but today I'm 12 days post op! (top surgery was 27/10/23) and feeling pretty good 😎✨ thank u to everyone who donated to my recovery fund ❤️

(they/it pronouns)

[psychhound]

ID in alt

In How to Survive a Haunting, you play as Stranger, an entity plagued by ghosts who try to possess you, and take over your home and your life. Luckily, you have come across a mysterious old journal, written by a man only referred to as The Journalkeeper. He has spent his life studying ghosts, and made it his mission to record everything he knew about how to defend yourself from them, and how to tame them

On the journey to taming your ghosts, you will represent your accomplishments through tokens, keep a magical deck of cards that help you ward off unearthly possessions, and log your adventure in a journal. The Journalkeeper will walk you through each stage of this process, and teach you how to customize the game to fit your specific needs

Haunting is a gamified mental health aid, designed to help people learn more about how their body works, adopt a challenge mindset, and achieve post-traumatic growth. It is designed with a light horror aesthetic (though no actual scares in the game) to meet people in the mental space that they're at, and not make light of extremely difficult circumstances. It is geared towards the recovery of those with trauma and (c)PTSD

haunting is now pre-launched on kickstarter!

It is written by long-time disability advocate and social worker Luka Brave, who was inspired by his experiences with gamification and tabletop roleplaying in his journey of self-discovery and recovery. In his professional work, Luka has worked with many other avid gamers, including many who have experienced trauma, PTSD, and other life-changing mental health conditions

Haunting is currently funding to hire a psychiatric professional consultant to assist with finding reputable sources for all the science and psychology cited within the game, and make sure all the mechanics are up to date on the latest therapeutic practices

The first stretch goal is to have the game fully illustrated by the wonderful artist Vicky (@prose-n-scripts) who did the cover art seen above

Additional goals will be to sell kits with everything you need to play the game and start on your journey of recovery!

Sign up for notifications to know when the Kickstarter gets launched, and get access to many backer rewards, including a discounted copy of the finished game for marginalized folks or those living in financial hardship!

*How to Survive a Haunting is not a replacement for therapy or medication. It uses a fantasy narrative device to talk about trauma, flashbacks, panic attacks, and more. If you are prone to psychosis, magical thinking, or delusions, please approach this game with caution*

[moriamori]

Even now I feel the ghosts of muscles and nerves wishing to induce pain, as my upper torso works on healing missing skin from ripped kinetic sports tape used in recovery.

The words "Do what you love while you still have the bodily means to do it" rattles through my bones, I'm not that old by human standards but the sense of a countdown remains regardless. Comics are a deep love of mine. They're also the medium to tell a story very, very slowly.

With an average life span of 80 years, knock off my current 30, that's 50 years left. A completed series could take about ten years, many have taken longer. The manic could commit maybe five stories. Realistically, most manage half or a quarter of one. Maybe complete one. Maybe two. And my arms hurt, my spine pinches. My fingers tingle.

With my current funds, I choose between one physio session for the month, or hope to save up enough for an ergonomics assessment of my awful workdesk-setup in a slanted apartment, with a chair too big and items eternally too wide, too heavy for me. "This time," I say, "This time, this will help me get closer to drawing again".

I had wanted to be a freelance illustrator, when I realized my day job would never financially reflect the amount of work I do or don't put in. I wouldn't be able to increase my funds if I took on more work. My job will only realize they can expect more work out of me for the same pay. Getting hired elsewhere, while a possibility, would likely involve obtaining a new job that is twice as stressful and pays a tiny bit more. I don't even want this career.

I used to do commissions. I used to draw like I breathed. The irony of working in an art school is that the continuous exposure to technique and "how to get better", mainly makes you able to see your own mistakes and your own shortcomings over and over again. It's always about improvement. Find the faults, do better. Do better. Do better.

Don't sing this way, sing that way.

I feel like I've lost my voice. I feel like my voice hasn't much to say, actually. I know people loved it, once. People even demand my return.

"I want to see the next pages." "Where's that comic you said you'd do?" "Made any art recently?"

Positive attention doesn't pay bills, doesn't give me lunch, doesn't offer insurance for my physio therapy bills. It almost did. But I would have to keep performing. Keep producing through the burn. And I want to. I do. That's the awful thing in the end. I also want these pages done.

I want to love to create again. I remember I loved. I loved fearlessly. Made fearlessly. I embraced bad art. Minimalist art. Shitty art.

"I know you can make better than this." "You didn't put effort in this one."

Please put effort in me.

I am sorry the previous conditions I worked in were not enough, and the past support was not enough. I did have patreon. I did have some support. I had people willing to pay me for my time and effort and they even had patience. It was almost enough. Almost.

A flower still wilts if only given a slice of the sun it needs. It can try to grow in those conditions but it isn't going to be good.

"It used to be enough before!"

Maybe I grew. Maybe my appetite and my needs got bigger. Kids' meals don't fill me anymore. What right do I have to ask for more, when I have nothing to show for it? When what I make, may end up being terrible regardless?

"Remember you will love," I tell myself once more. Maybe I'll love regardless, in the end. Pages or no pages.

I do love terrible comics, in the end.

[swampgh0stt]

Black Christmas (DKBK edition)

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bakugou Katsuki/Midoriya Izuku art by: @stardustrobin link: (x)

“What’s happening here?” Bakugo growled, resting a hand on his hip. 

“He’s back again,” the receptionist answered as he pointed to the phone. “The moaner.” 

Tsunagu sighed. It wasn’t uncommon for Hero Agencies to receive prank calls, but especially not him. He was a licensed counselor for troubled teens, and worse? The Number One Hero who had taken over after the War. With Endeavor gone from the Hero scene (and everyone better off for it) and Hawks rendered Quirkless (taking over as the Commission’s new President), Jeanist found himself saddled with the responsibility. 

It had been a long time coming, some other Pro Heroes insisted. Others swore he should have had the title all along, after All Might’s retirement. But Jeanist chose not to involve himself in those discussions. He put his focus more towards recovery efforts, offering and funding programs for rehabilitation rather than punitive justice. The impact was felt, with crime rates dropping to an all time low and staying there. Villain sightings were a rarity. 

“Let me handle this, ladies,” Tsunagu sighed as he approached the desk. He took the phone, but then turned his attention to Katsuki: “You should take the night off.” 

Bakugo lifted his mask on his forehead, pushing his bangs out of the way. “Huh?” He arched a brow, head tilting to one side as a deep scowl pulled back on his lips. 

“You’re running yourself into the ground, Dynamight. What good is all this effort if you don’t even celebrate the spoils?” He gestured to the pocket Bakugo often kept his phone tucked away in. “Call him. Go out to dinner.” 

“Christmas isn’t for another two days,” Dynamight spat back with a snort. 

“Then make a reservation and go meet up with him now, too.” Katsuki shoved both of his hands into his pockets and stalked away, much to Tsunagu’s relief. He waited until his sidekick had disappeared in the locker rooms to change, then brought the phone to his ear. “Hello?” 

The sound of heavy breathing replied with slow insistence. The calls had started recently and never lasted long enough for a trace. Still, Tsunagu tried and often took the calls to keep his interns and receptionist safe from the sometimes manic ramblings that happened on the other end. Most of the time, it was unintelligible. He could scarcely make out the slurred words, but he knew the caller had to be in some form of distress. 

If only he could help. 

Today? The caller was mostly quiet, with nothing but heavy breathing as a reply… until: “Let me have him.” 

Jeanist felt a chill run down his spine, recognizing the distortion in his voice to be the work of some app shielding his identity. “Who?” Tsunagu pressed, his brow knitting together. “Who are you looking for?” 

The caller’s tone turned aggressive all at once: “Give him back to me!!!” Then, his tone shifted drastically to a sobbing, pleading mess. “Let me have him. Let me have him, please.” 

“Who are you looking for?” Jeanist tried again, his heart aching. 

But just like every other call, no answers were given. This one ended abruptly, the line going quiet as Tsunagu was left with icy dread in his gut. This was the first time the caller had shown any interest in another person… Slowly, he placed the phone on the receiver, ushering his interns back to their busy work in hopes of easing their anxieties. 

“Did one of you see Dynamight leave?” He asked before they could disperse. 

“Yeah,” one of the interns answered, jutting her thumb towards the door. “Surprised you didn’t see him stomping out of here.” 

Tsunagu wished he could escort Katsuki back to his apartment now. But Dynamight would never accept the help. What was he worried for, anyway? Dynamight was more than capable. These were just prank calls, after all.

[copperbadge]

Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways to Give:

dapperanachronism linked to a fundraiser for Chris and Nina, who are trying to recover after Chris lost his job for pushing back against illegal labor practices. While he was unemployed, their car was repossessed; he has a new job offer, but needs a car for it, and he will lose his employment without it. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Nikki is currently working on paying off back rent owed and with fall cold approaching knows that her utilities will go up; they're raising funds to help cover groceries, winter boots, and back rent and bills. You can send funds via paypal to ncdavis1701@yahoo.com or via cashapp to $ncdavis1701; she's requesting donors add a brief note what the funds are for and where they came from.

rilee16 is raising funds to keep the lights on; their roommate, with whom they have had a number of issues, has begun running appliances all day to drive up the bill. You can read more, reblog, and find giving information here.

thishazeleyeddemon is president of Sacramento State's new Secular Student Alliance, which will be hosting Dr. Darrel Ray, a psychologist and author, to speak on recovery from religious trauma; they'd like him to come speak on October 12th, but need to raise funds for a speaker honorarium; when I visited this morning the funds had been raised but I'm sure they could use the extra going forward. You can read more and support the fundraiser here.

Help For Free:

treesah is asking folks to come out and vote for her friend, Rachel Raydo, on Inked Originals, a contest where she's in the running to win $20K and be featured in Inked Magazine; her tattoos have very personal meaning for her and tie into her recovery journey, and winning would mean a lot. Voting is free, but requires a Facebook account or credit card to prevent bots. You can participate here!

marveltrumpshate, a fandom charity auction focused on Marvel characters, ships, and universes, is open for sign-ups until September 30th; you can offer various forms of fanwork or service (fic, art, editing, graphics, podfics, videos, merch, etc) and auction winners donate their bid amount directly to one of the nonprofits on the list. This is the sixth year for Marvel Trumps Hate, which has raised $178K since 2018! You can read more and sign up here.

Recurring Needs:

frenchroasted's cousin, who has been fundraising for a used wheelchair-accessible van after herniating her back lifting her stepson's wheelchair and had to have surgery for it, has partnered with MyDMDHero which is now hosting their fundraiser on GiveButter so that their donations are tax-deductible. You can read more and support the fundraiser, formerly at GoFundMe, here.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form. If you're new to fundraising, you may want to check out my guide to fundraising here.