#art is supposed to move you and i think i wouldn't be the same without jjk truly

[torgawl]

i love gege. i really hope he feels satisfied with the end of the manga 😭

[ybklix]

𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐧

★ lee minho

✦summary: You embark on an unusual night for you, as a companion to a wealthy stranger man with a cold countenance, a warm heart and a very hot form of affection.

✭ content - tags - warnings: smut / oral sex / spanking / hair pulling / chocking / ceo lee know x fem reader / non idol felix x fem reader / mention of sex workers, scort / sugar daddy

word count: 12.3k

Part 2 ᯓ★

(masterlist)

Money did buy happiness, you thought; if it did you would be in your mansion worth millions, you would use your money to buy contacts to get your dream job without having to sweat a drop and you wouldn't be standing there right now listening to the landlady, while she yells at you and reminds you how far behind you are in your payments.

It was humiliating and you had no other excuse to tell her, it was obvious she didn't give a shit how much you studied and worked at the same time and it still wasn't enough. She finally left, insulting you a couple of times and flattering herself for being a good person by letting you stay and giving you a space in a very rushed and busy city like this one, where millions of people are looking for a place to live every day.

You wanted to feel unashamed, carefree but you couldn't do it and everything was a thousand times more embarrassing when you were helping your best friend pack as she was moving to a new and better apartment. You knew Hari since you moved into the building three years ago, she was your neighbor and you were the same age so you two quickly liked each other... but the day had come, she was able to move on and was going to a nice place.

Hari watched the whole scene with a bit of sadness, knowing deep down what it felt like to go through exactly the same thing and hear the same old lady screaming. And, as she took one of her boxes to pass it to the mover she thought if after all this time it would be good to finally confess a secret to you… she was terrified of feeling judged but, she appreciated you too much that she really wanted to tell you.

You sighed without further ado, smiling and turning back to your friend.

“Hey, if you need…” Hari wanted to say but you interrupted her immediately.

“I'm fine, really.”

You stared at her and gave her a fake smile. It wasn't new that you hated asking for help and that people feel sorry for you, first it was your male best friend who stupidly is a millionaire and now your best friend who you were supposed to share economic pains. You felt that everyone was moving forward but you, but you didn't want to be seen as a poor girl in distress, it was what you hated the most even though you appreciate their gestures and words in your heart, despite that it's hard for you to take it, as well as thank them and…. express yourself.

“If you need anything you know you can count on m...?”

“On you and Felix, I know.”

You rolled your eyes trying to appear annoyed but you weren't, it was obvious, they always reminded you. And you were extremely grateful just at the thought that they cared about you. You were aware that one of the very good solutions was simply to start dating your rich best friend who you know likes you… but you weren't like that, unfortunately, you were too proud to accept easy money.

“You should give him a chance” Hari added.

“I think I'm fucked up enough to fall in love and add another worry.”

Felix was sweet, caring, attractive and incredibly wealthy, you met him in college as he was studying cinematography. And you were studying performing arts, actress, your biggest dream. Strangely enough, you and Felix connected instantly in a course where you coincided, and you got along very well forming a nice friendship; he had a big and pure heart and was not at all the typical brainless rich kid, however you were the opposite of him, reserved and a bit pessimistic about life and clearly… in some big and tight economic problems. You couldn't count the countless times Felix offered to help you financially, but you simply felt you were abusing the power of your cute and cuddly best friend.

He would offer you money, he would offer you one of his properties, all paid vacations, you knew it was every girl's dream and that if you told anyone other than Hari about all this, they would be sure to slap you and call you ‘stupid’ to your face. You recognized that he was all a dream come true and that was what you feared the most, that you might be a nightmare for him, your personalities were different and most of all, you felt so bad that you didn't have something to offer him; you felt it looked so wrong to be just him trying so hard even though you were trying twice as hard too and sometimes it seemed in vain.

Moreover, you were quite realistic and recognized well that guys like Felix, wealthy and from a long line of millionaire ancestors, a simple girl like you wasn't enough, and you could never end up with someone like him.

Hari laughed at your comment.

“Love isn't so bad... have you ever been in love?”

You looked at her perplexed, almost wanting to laugh in her face; Hari in love was a concept you didn't know.

“Have you?” you asked, emphasizing your shock.

Your friend just looked at you amused and continued her duty of clearing out her old home. She was nervous, she had a solution for you but wasn't sure if it was an option for you.

After a few hours of exhaustive work like moving your whole life to another place, both of you contemplated the completely empty apartment where you used to spend nights together having sleepovers. Hari sighed, ready to confess something no one else knew.

“Y/n” she spoke to you.

You made a sound indicating you were listening, but you weren't really, you couldn't stop looking at that wall, thinking about what you had to do as soon as possible to get extra money. Hari called your name again until this time she caught your attention, so you turned to look at her; she felt nervousness and wanted to swallow for a second, you furrowed your brow at her sudden strange reaction.

“If I tell you something, promise you won't judge.”

“Of course” you quickly answered without thinking, her behavior seemed odd, but suddenly you were so curious to know.

She looked at you with big eyes of ‘I'm serious’, while you returned the look more than obvious.

“What is it about?”

Hari took a breath, hesitant, and suddenly she had all your attention.

“Have you ever wondered how suddenly I get all this, finally moving, nicer clothes...?” she replied with another question.

You furrowed your brow and tilted your head a bit confused, not meaning to offend, but your friend's life wasn't something you were so concerned about since you saw her completely normal, it wasn't something to be alarmed about, every time you met she was still the same... you wondered if there was suddenly something you didn't notice and that you should feel like a bad friend about.

“Did you get a big promotion at your job...?” you speculated without an answer.

She smiled mockingly.

“There's someone” she finally spat out, unable to express it entirely.

You got excited, those words meant she was dating someone of whom you didn't know details and suddenly it excited you. You raised your eyebrows in surprise and turned your whole body towards her, looking at her straight ahead, enthusiastic.

“Oh my God, Hari, why didn't you...”

“Or something like that” she cut you off abruptly.

Again, you looked at her confused, this time waiting for her to start talking. Hari looked at the floor and finally said:

“I have someone who gives me money.”

Silence embraced you, you didn't know what to say so you just laughed incredulously letting out a little air, Hari quickly looked at you with her expressive eyes of ‘you promised not to judge’, so you hurried to say:

“A sugar daddy or something like that? Well… good for you, I guess.”

“I think you need one” she cut off your sarcastic comment so now you laughed out loud. “Being a companion.”

“No thanks, I have enough dealing with Felix and his specific complex” you scoffed.

“I think you're not getting it… I don't know how to explain it but, I can live my life for 5 years without working a single day.”

You were in denial and totally ready to continue to contradict and mock your friend until that comment caught you by surprise.

“Wow, well that's…” you closed your eyes deeply trying to process the kind of conversation you were having. “I think you're exaggerating a bit here…”

“No” she interrupted you again, “this is different, I think you reject Felix because you know him and… these are just unknown men willing to pay a lot of money.”

“Do you really think you can give that kind of power to a man, of just giving you money without him expecting anything in return?” you added without thinking.

Silence returned… and it was when everything made sense and you understood that Hari did give something in return. You didn't want to say it out loud, but suddenly your best friend was a prostitute; you were really surprised. You couldn't help but open your eyes in surprise. Hari felt the need to explain herself before feeling judged.

“They are really wealthy men, it's something really exclusive and selective, you can choose and…”

You dissociated and stopped listening for a second, did they have methods? What did she mean? Why would she believe in the first place that you would be part of something like that?

“And are you with someone or do you have multiple relationships…?” you interrupted her.

You had no idea why you cared about that, you weren't a saint to judge, but maybe it was just curiosity. Hari rolled her eyes annoyed.

“At first a few until I finally found someone, I’m telling you it's surprising what can happen; so far it's him, he gave me the apartment, he'll decorate it and-”

You closed your eyes again incredulously.

“He bought you the apartment? I thought you rented it.”

“I had to lie.”

“And what happens when your fantasy and money run out?” you said mercilessly.

Hari smiled, you were too honest and straightforward sometimes.

“Well, I don't think that will happen for a long time and… Chan and I reached an agreement that I could work in his company as much as I want, even if our relationship ends and he stops supporting me.”

“Oh, so he has a name and now you're dating.”

“It's complicated, I like him but it's obvious that guys like him don't end up with the poor girl like a a TV show.”

And with a hooker, you thought. At least you were grateful that after all the senseless chatter something with common reasoning came out of your friend's mouth. You really had nothing against what she was doing, it just took you by surprise.

Hari sighed.

“I know you don't believe me, but do you remember that time months ago when we went out to eat and jokingly I showed you the meager ₩50,000 in my bank account?”

You nodded, still perplexed and cautious about what she might show you now. Hari took her phone and in a few swift movements with her fingers, handed it to you, displaying on the screen an incredible amount that made you sigh just seeing it. You couldn't believe it. How was it possible for someone to have so much money? Why would they give it to Hari?

“I think it's dangerous, maybe it's just sex with strangers but in exchange for that ridiculous amount… I don't know, you shouldn't trust strangers like that.”

Hari opened her mouth, offended, as she took her phone back.

“It's not always sex, it's about companionship.”

You pursed your lips, unable to believe it; maybe for old men with erectile dysfunction, you thought, but somehow or another, they are men looking for something.

“I'm just giving you an option to give it a chance. It's a really exclusive app, you even send your data to be accepted; it also comes with details of the people offering money for you, how they are, how much, and you can reject them all, you're in control. Come on, y/n, desperate times call for desperate measures…”

“I wouldn't categorize it that way, no thanks, Hari, I'm not that desperate, and by the way, how did you find out?”

“I went to a party months ago and overheard a couple of unknown girls talking about it, it changed my life” she quickly checked her phone again. “I have to go, he came for me, but think about it, okay? Just out of curiosity, like I did until I saw a really impressive amount. Also, they specify if they want companionship or something more…”

You rolled your eyes annoyed, it was crazy, you thought that Hari could live anonymously but your dream was to be an actress, what were you supposed to do if they ever found out that you practically sold yourself. Both of you left the apartment and stood there in the hallway for a few seconds.

“Do you want to meet Chan?”

Your attention returned to your friend as soon as she said those words and confusedly you thought in your mind “who?” until you realized who she was talking about. You were curious, you expected an older man but you were surprised to see that shiny black luxury truck and inside of it, an attractive young adult driving, he looked no more than thirty, or maybe less than forty. You had descended all those floors to meet the person your friend was talking about with enthusiasm and you were too surprised.

Chan got out of the car as soon as he saw Hari and opened the passenger door for her.

“She's my friend, y/n” your friend introduced you.

“Pleasure to meet you” you shook hands.

You were in absolute surprise and denial, suddenly everything started to feel like just a fever dream. You felt the heavy gaze of your friend's ‘partner’ and for a second you wondered if he was really the guy who slept with girls for money or the chauffeur of the lucky handsome rich man.

You gave him a small smile and Chan quickly looked at Hari with complicit eyes, silently asking if you knew who he was in her life to which Hari almost reading his mind nodded softly.

“I'll see you another day, goodbye” your friend said goodbye with a strong hug which you were too astonished to reciprocate.

And they both left, leaving you standing on the cold pavement of the parking lot with your thoughts floating.

You returned to your apartment with a million questions, questioning almost your existence. Imagining the possibility of getting into that silly app, you thought for a second that Hari must have had the greatest luck in the world to get the only handsome man in the whole system, whom you wouldn't be disgusted to sleep with even for a second. You thought if you really should pay attention to Felix, fall in love with him, live with him… but you shook your head vigorously to dismiss that idea, it was almost impossible not to fall in love with him but you didn't feel bitchy and cynical enough to take advantage of his love and money at the same time. You knew it was cruel and that he should be looking for someone because you understood each of his signals, and it was obvious that he was crazy about you but among the boring and miserable life you led, his attention was the only thing that kept you motivated.

You couldn't sleep and little by little you convinced yourself more, sex with a stranger? It shouldn't be so bad, having the same amount of money as Hari? it was such a bright dream for you. You could pay off your debts, look for a better place, and free yourself from the visit of the little witch every week. Now you were curious… if it was really reliable and if all your information was highly confidential.

You didn't even check the time and sent Hari a message: «How high security are we talking about in that app?» She replied «I'll tell you everything tomorrow» you noticed your friend's excitement when you realized how quickly she responded.

Until the next day arrived and after work you visited her new and remodeled apartment. It was unreal, you were breathless, the beautiful view and large windows, the harmony of its decoration, it was so bright to be true that if you managed to have money in this situation that you were about to get into, you wanted to keep it realistic, you were afraid that from one day to the next, you would have nothing, so changing your life drastically without having a fixed support was not an option for you, it wouldn't be something long term, just something to get you out of your soon predicament.

They sat on the couch in her spacious living room which was almost the size of your entire apartment.

“Do you want me to manage your account just to verify the data and all that?”

You nodded, you weren't sure what you were about to do, but there you were.

“Okay, all your data is done, they'll send you an e-nail confirmation and let you know if you've been selected to enjoy the app's services. So…”

You swallowed, watching as they wrote all your data to a strange email, your name, date of birth, occupation, your measurements, your physical appearance, number of sexual partners, if you've had any STDs and attach evidence that you're 100% clean, history of alcoholism and smoking…

“I think it's illegal for them to ask for so much data.”

“Don't worry, it'll be worth it.”

“Are you sure I won't end up in… some dark business?” you whispered the last sentence, terrified and nervous.

“Noo, you'll get all the data from the men who want to hire you, even their address while yours is never exposed.”

“I don't know, Hari, men naturally lie.”

Hari chuckled softly, sensing your nervousness.

“I'll put up a picture of you and send it, and…”

“Wait, what?”

“I sent it” she looked at you proudly. “It can take 24 to 48 hours to respond.”

Hours passed, and you were heating up your dinner when a call from Hari interrupted your time.

“You got approved, it was really fast. I'll come to see you.”

She hung up, and you took your food out of the microwave totally bewildered. An hour later, amid the serene night with little rain, your friend appeared at your door with a big smile.

“Why are you so excited? I'm literally about to sell my vagina to wetpussy.com.”

Hari laughed.

“But that will make you a millionaire overnight.”

“Mm” you expressed in disgust and let her in.

“I can't believe it was so fast, they really want you. You have the option to put your real name or a fake one, your real name you can only give if you want.”

“Please, a fake one.”

You were really regretting it.

“What name should I put you?”

“I don't know, just not mine.”

“Cheryl, like darling in French” she wrote with a smile “…except I need pictures…”

“Come on, I sent you the best ones.”

“I know, and you look spectacular, but there's an option where the money goes directly to your bank account once they unlock the function to see your photos…”

You felt like she didn't finish the sentence and you were a little annoyed by the situation, it irritated you to know that you had to do this, well, you didn't have to, and no one was forcing you, but you decided to do it.

“And?”

“They're spicy photos.”

“Absolutely not, is it necessary to do that?”

“Your face can't be seen, and the money goes directly to you. Every time someone opens the option, you get paid ₩10 million, well, it depends on how much the app values you.”

You were in denial until you almost regurgitated your dinner.

“That's an absurd amount.”

“I told you I wasn't joking, I didn't know what they were based on but according to Chan, they're based on dollars or something like that, so for them, it's quite little.”

“Fuck, does Chan have more sugar babies? Because if he continues, he'll go bankrupt.”

“I told you they're not ordinary people and they have to specify what they want, if you ever feel like they disrespect you and don’t follow what was previously established, you have every right to fine them and report them.”

“And make it a public legal issue? No thanks.”

“Then…”

“Well, I guess I have nothing to lose by taking a few lingerie photos, without showing my face!”

[…]

There you were, in the mall at a lingerie store on your day off, trying to find the best pieces that scream “classy slut”, you were so terrified, it means they must be men with a lot of money and extreme loneliness and desperation, so the least you could do was pretend to feel sorry for them and look pretty in a nice set.

You were spending your money on something you hoped would soon multiply by millions, until the sound of your phone startled you because you were so focused that you felt like you were doing something illegal. It was Felix.

“Hey.”

“Hey, where are you? It's your day off, right?” he said.

“Yes… I'm at the mall.”

You couldn't lie to him, the music and sound of people were so audible.

“At the usual one? No way, I'm here too, I'm buying a birthday present for Olivia, I wanted to ask you to help me.”

“Well if you want to wait…”

“Where exactly are you? I'll come find you.”

You didn't want to see him, you felt so guilty accepting dirty money from strangers and not the one he always offered you in the purest way without asking for anything in return, you felt terrible.

“I'm at…” you looked around trying to find another store to run away when he's near, but you couldn't. “Buying lingerie on the second floor.”

You told him the truth, you didn't think he would come. And you've always been someone without filters, except when it comes to Felix, only with him do you have a soft spot. There was a little silence.

“Do you have a date?”

His voice suddenly became serious and his tone of enthusiasm vanished.

“Well, it's complicated” you grimaced but he couldn't see you.

“I'm coming over there.”

Felix hung up on you suddenly and you just let out a sigh; you couldn't guess where he was to calculate his time and leave the store and meet him outside, but you really needed that outfit, your last nudes were taken when you were in high school when you did your first sexting with a guy in your class, who was a nice guy, Kim Seungmin from your science class, you fucked him in the basketball gym closet and he never ever told anyone, nor showed your nudes; but the situation was already twisted enough without putting up your old photos from when you were a minor, plus the light and angles weren't fancy enough to be worth 10 million won.

You rushed to find something fast and before you knew it, Felix had already arrived.

“I like that one” he said in his deep voice close to your ear taking you by surprise.

You turned to see him, today he looked cuter than usual, he had his hands clasped behind his back and a small smile on his sweet face.

“Felix…” you whispered.

“So, what's the occasion? Who are you going to wear that for?” he mumbled.

He wanted to hide his irritation in a soft tone, but he couldn't, he was annoyed.

“Oh, it's nothing, I just have to update my closet.”

“Then buy whatever you want and I'll pay for it” you were about to speak and he gently raised his index finger in objection. “Is it bothering you that I'm here? I can leave you my credit card and wait for you outside.”

Felix looked around innocently, he was surrounded by women's underwear and women. You smiled warmly at him.

“No, actually you can help me.”

You liked to play with Felix a little, you adored watching the way his face would lift and light up all over, his ears would perk up a little and his round eyes would get bigger, as happy as a loyal puppy. Objectively yes he could help you, he was also an incredibly wealthy man, you thought maybe all millionaires shared the same neuron or tastes to get them turned on.

“I'm between this one and this one” you showed him the pairs you had selected.

“Take both of them. Or as many as you want.”

You wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, you were suffocating to the idea of what you were going to do; you loved shopping but today….

“Come on, take some more, your closet won't be filled with just two” Felix added.

You smiled at him and chose a few more so he would stop talking and you could leave at once. Felix paid without any problem while the cashier looked at you with contempt and envy when she saw the pretty boy who accompanied you, slim, elegant, blond with long hair and an innocent face bathed in freckles.

“Thank you, Lix” you gave him a quick kiss on his soft, rosy cheek.

If Felix had a dog's tail, you were sure he'd be wagging it vividly and endlessly with happiness.

“Have you eaten yet? Let's go get something to eat…” he mentioned excitedly, turning to look at you.

“Mm, later, now I'll help you choose the gift for your sister.”

“Oh, yes, sure, what do you think, Cartier or Tiffany? Although Van Cleef is very fashionable among young girls. And maybe a Dior bag, I think it's her favorite brand; my father will give her her first Birkin so my bag will be like a toy, I don't know what to give her.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, Felix was talking and you were listening.

[…]

“Do you wanna go to my place? There's a movie I want to see. Only you would listen to me while I pause the movie every 5 minutes to make a comment.”

Felix spoke while he was driving, he looked at you out of the corner of his eye and noticed you distracted; you couldn't help it, you thought to yourself that you have to take good pictures and that maybe soon your pussy will be tasting a stranger's cock, for money, which made your hair stand on end. You came out of your trance when you realized Felix spoke.

“Yes, it's okay.”

You needed a distraction. And you missed movie nights —and commentary— with Felix, your best filmmaker friend.

“What are you doing on Saturday? You should go to Olivia's party, she's having a themed party after dinner with us; I don't know what her theme is yet, but I'll let you know. Olivia remembers you and likes you very much.”

Felix suggested trying to get your attention. You didn't even have to think about it, Felix's younger sister was a sweetheart like him, it was his older sister who was a tough crowd, you knew she didn't like you and that she thought you only hung out with her brother for his money, she almost fainted when she found out you were on scholarship and lived in a middle class neighborhood. It was enough for you to know that Felix drove you everywhere, that was too much for you.

“I'll think about it… I have a deadline this Sunday for a report.”

He pressed his lips together, knowing you were lying, but he didn't blame you, he thought maybe it would be too much pressure to meet his family.

“So… Are you going to tell me who you're going to wear that lingerie for? Is it someone from the university that I know?” Felix tried to be subtle, but he was dying to know who was going to touch you other than him.

You and Felix had almost done it for multiple times but you always stopped yourself, you couldn't do it because you were afraid he would do it so well and so sweetly that you would end up falling in love with him. He loved the way you made him completely horny, almost cumming in his pants.

And then you had a great idea, if you were going to get into that business you had to be cool and think it would only be a simple fuck, you wouldn't concentrate on anything but feeling a hard cock in your pussy… so you had to fuck Felix right now, there was no other way to prove you were an insensitive bitch than to fuck the only man you have ever felt love and respect for.

You tried to get flirtatious and quickly changed your mood.

“Maybe you're right, he's someone you know very well.”

You spoke slowly and seductively, staring at him, you must have recognized that you really have a very attractive best friend, he quickly noticed your heavy look and the change of mood, so he swallowed nervously and looked at you surprised with opening his pretty eyes in pity and that didn't help you at all, he looked fucking cute when he was like that.

“Oh yeah?” he added playfully looking sideways and running his tongue along the inside of his cheeks.

You moved closer to him and brushed his cheek with the tip of your nose seductively, while your left hand traveled dangerously from his thigh to his crotch where you massaged his growing bulge.

“Let's go to your place and you tell me what you think of each of the sets you bought me, for him.”

You noticed the irregularity of Felix's breathing, you didn't want to act clumsy and end up fucking him in the car, even though it was incredibly spacious enough… but you knew that when Felix was aroused and totally yielding to your charms and touches, he wasn't thinking clearly.

“Let's listen to music while we wait” you added amused.

You moved away from him and played music through the screen of his modern car, almost letting out a giggle, you didn't know if Felix hated you for that or was just turned on and, for him it was the second option, all the way he was uncomfortable with his pants drowning his cock, but he didn't know how to ask you nicely that if possible you could give him a handjob right there, to which he concluded that there was no decent way to say it so he waited until finally arriving at his pent-house.

As you entered the elevator you both kissed desperately, you almost smiled between the kisses knowing how much fun it would be to finally taste your best friend. Felix was holding all the shopping bags tightly, or at least he was trying to, he wanted to keep his hands on your waist and glued you to him, so once you reached his apartment, he let go of the bags and kept kissing you mercilessly, it felt so good, his warm hands on your waist, his tongue exploring the inside of your mouth and your lips joined with a huge appetite. You realized he wanted to take control and if he did, you would end up making love slowly and not just fucking, so you gently pushed him away, he saw you confused with puffy lips and a look of lust.

“Let me show you how good it all looks on me.”

You gave him a quick kiss and took his hand, directing him to the couch where he sat.

He licked his lips as he bit them, stretched out his arms and settled back, trying to ignore his throbbing sex. He loved the way you played with it.

You took the first piece of black full body lace lingerie. You undressed in front of him and slowly and painfully slipped it on, Felix was struggling with his immense desire to make you his.

“Help me.”

You dropped onto his lap pretending to have trouble putting the garment on, you were so wet, you wanted to feel him like you had never wanted to feel him before. Felix put his hands on your body and quickly reached for your pussy, pulling the tight, thin fabric away from your center and began to play with your clit. You moaned, losing control of your initial plan as you were surrendered to his touch.

You unbuttoned his pants, removing them and his underwear in exasperation. And there was your friend's hard, firm cock lightly lubricated in semen, as nice and thin as he was, it looked exquisite, and you were going to ride it so well.

“Felix, the condom” you practically begged.

He gasped at the touch of your hand and firm grip, “over there,” he mumbled pointing to a cabinet with a drawer, you thought for a second if he fucks regularly or why he had condoms in accessible and strategic places. You walked by the condom, feeling your wetness with every step and positioned yourself in front of him, your knees on either side of his thighs.

“You should take pictures of me, with each of the lingerie, exclusively for you; I want you to know that I'm really grateful every time you do something nice for me” you stared at him as you opened the wrapper.

You put the condom on him, you could see how gorgeous, red and swollen his cock was ready for you, and slowly, carefully pulling the fabric apart, you sat on it, inserting it and feeling every inch as you went down.

“Shit, y/n, move for me” Felix gasped.

You moaned as you felt it buried in your pussy and began to enjoy yourself endlessly, jumping on his erection as each squat made you lose your breath. Felix held you tightly by the waist, accentuating each movement. You gave yourself thrusts leaning on his thighs and, when you felt his cock throbbing and his body getting weaker and weaker indicating his orgasm, you hugged him on his shoulders and kept moving your hips and ass with agility.

Felix completely agreed that you would take control and held your ass helping you a little until, between gasps and almost crying, Felix finally cummed. You were so possessed by adrenaline, you could feel your orgasm so close, that you accelerated your squats and held your breath for a second until you finally exploded in a sea of sighs and glistening fluid.

You dropped your tired body on Felix's shoulder, feeling his scent and immediately regretted it, it had been amazing, but you always thought the first time you would fuck Felix would be so sweet, on a warm day, maybe in spring, involving roses and a date… not in such a dirty way on a cold October night on his living room couch.

“You know I like you a lot, y/n. Let's stay that way.”

And you said something really stupid, something you had no intention of saying. You wondered what he meant, whether to continue to stay like this fucking, or cuddling?

“I like you too.”

You kept hiding in his neck, you were a coward who can't accept that you were capable of feeling something for someone.

And if that wasn't enough to make you feel bad, he gave you the sweetest cuddles once you came out of his cock, he tended you carefully and told you how pretty you looked.

After that he took your long awaited pictures and after taking your last one, he made sure to reward you so well that he ended up eating your pussy.

You ended the night by taking a shower together, and fucking you again in there; you watched the movie while he commented on each annotation he made, but Felix fell asleep halfway through, in your arms. You didn't know what to do, you didn't know if you were going to continue that way with him and you still weren't ready to take the big step of accepting his money just because suddenly you go out and he gives you everything, his sister already hated you… what would people think; you cared more about your situation with him than about what they would think if I slept with a stranger for money situation, although, nobody had to know it was for money, if somehow someone found out, you could say it was just a fuck, you thought.

So, resigned to the fact that you still had to pay your rent, you sent the pictures to Hari, to which she quickly replied with a «wow! I got em» Thirty minutes later, a screenshot of what your profile looked like, it was embarrassing for you. «I'll be sure to get you the best deals😉», she wrote back.

The next morning you woke up in Felix's bed, wearing his clothes; he must have moved you and you hadn't even noticed, you reached for your phone and couldn't believe your eyes, notifications from your bank account app, you had received ₩ 40 million.

You were ready to tell Hari that you had enough with what you were getting just for the pictures, you couldn't believe it.

[…]

And, on the other side of the city, in one of the best, luxurious and exclusive hotels in the place, the hotel owner himself, the young and wealthy Hwang Hyunjin and his friend who fit in the same category as him, Lee Minho, were having brunch.

“Ah, Lee Minho, he can finally have brunch with you in his busy schedule” Hyunjin told him.

Hyunjin had arrived and Minho was waiting for him, sitting in one of the hotel's restaurants next to the large window with a view of the city. Hyunjin was more into art, but being the only son of his powerful father who owned hotel chains, he gave him that one right on his 18th birthday, since then Hyunjin has taken more than good care of it, and decorates it in his favorite pieces of art, his favorite part.

Minho stood up to greet him, shaking hands and a quick hug.

“Busy me? If it's you who's going around the country with your galleries” Minho replied, sitting down.

“I know, I know, it's unbelievable. Have you ordered lunch yet?”

“Yes.”

“I'll order the same” Hyunjin shouted to his employee as he sat in his chair facing Minho.

“Big day tomorrow, huh?” added Minho.

“Of course, you have to be there, I even left the presidential suite just for you.”

Hyunjin leaned back in his chair clasping his hands together with a smile on his face. Minho laughed softly.

“I don't get ready in hotels anymore.”

“Well, do it for me this time, like old times. Besides… you have a plus one to my gallery event.”

Minho's soft, amused look tensed a little when he heard his friend.

“Oh yeah? Well, I think I'll go alone.”

“In fact it's mandatory that you go with someone, so I got you that someone.”

“No thanks, I'd rather not go.”

Hyunjin smiled sideways seeing how cute his friend was getting when he was getting into his temper.

“It's a girl, but if you want a boy you have to tell me before tonight” he joked.

“Why can't I be your date then?”

“I'm sorry, I'm already going with someone tomorrow. But I think it's time for you to start seeing more people.”

Minho gave him a dirty look, he didn't want to have that conversation at their meeting after weeks of not being aware of their lives.

“I'm fine, I'm busy.”

“When was the last time you fucked someone” Hyunjin blurted out in amusement trying to smooth the conversation.

“It's none of your business.”

“I'll take that as you haven't done it in a long time.”

“If you care so much why don't you fuck me in the suite.”

Hyunjin laughed, gently touching his nose, though deep down he believed this was no time for joking… or at least it was a little since he didn't know how to tell him what he had to say.

“I would but you'd have to pay back every penny I spent on the pretty girl.”

“You paid money to a girl to sleep with me against my will? Artists are weird, I thought we were in the 21st century.”

Hyunjin couldn't hold it in anymore so he licked his lips and finally confessed:

“Soyul will be there.”

Minho's smirk left his face little by little and his heart almost stopped when he heard after so long the name of his ex-girlfriend; and that was exactly what Hyunjin was referring to and of the expression on his friend's part that Hyunjin feared for. He couldn't lie to him, Soyul was one of his biggest investors, she had to be present and he couldn't fool his friend; he knew he still wasn't over her, not even after two long years since their breakup; in fact, the idea of getting him someone started a few weeks ago, at their meeting where a drunken Minho confessed to him in tears the deep pain and misery he felt after the one he considered the love of his life left him. That was for Hyunjin the straw that broke the camel's back, he was not going to see his friend depressed.

“So?” Minho tried to sound nonchalant.

“She's going with her boyfriend… and I think you're still not over her….”

“And you decided to hire a hooker? That's why you left me the suite, isn't it, motherfucker?”

“She's not a-, well, if you don't want to fuck her, don't, just let her keep you company at my event.”

“Weren't the regular girls available?”

“All the normal girls in our social circle know Soyul and let's face it, they are very gossipy, it will be embarrassing for you for them to know that you haven't moved on with….”

“I can go alone” he interrupted him, he couldn't bear to hear him say his ex-girlfriend's name one more time.

“Come on, Minho, give yourself a chance, she is really pretty, she is an actress and…”

“A porn actress?” he interrupted him, not taking it seriously.

Meanwhile, their waitress was delivering their food and drinks, trying to act normal after overhearing the conversation.

“She's a real actress. I'll text you all her information. She's a Scorpio like you if you care about zodiac signs.”

Minho didn't answer, he didn't feel like dealing with anything else.

“They're freaky” Hyunjin poke as he picked up his cutlery, Minho frowned. “Scorpios. They say they’re good in bed.”

[...]

“I got wonderful news”

Hari suddenly appeared with a huge smile at your work.

“Hello to you too?”

“Can you take a break?”

“I'll be back in 5” you shouted and took off your apron to go out with your friend.

“I'm about to close a deal, I think you should have the money by now. You have to quit your job now, you have a date on Saturday.”

You were perplexed.

“Hari, what did you do?” you felt your phone vibrate in the back pocket of your jeans.

And there it was, your bank account with an imaginable amount, you opened your mouth in surprise, this was starting to get serious with an amount like that.

“I told you.”

“But who is it? What does he look like?” you didn't know how to react.

“Don't worry, they are Chan's friends, they are 100% reliable.”

“Is it more than one?” you opened your eyes in surprise.

“It's not… it’s complicated, a friend of Chan's, Hyunjin hired you for his friend Minho, who said he agreed, he just didn't use the app. I wanted to negotiate for him to pay for both of them but I guess he was pretty generous. Anyway, he just wants you to accompany Minho to Hyunjin's exclusive exhibition and pretend to be in a relationship with him for at least two hours?”

It was a lot of information to process, you didn't know what to say.

“Hyunjin will explain you more in detail but seriously you have to go otherwise you will be fined that same amount paid and a little more. You can leave as soon as you feel uncomfortable since apparently Minho has a strong personality.”

“Believe me, I'll leave as soon as I walk through the door.”

[…]

There you were on your Saturday night, standing in front of the door of a luxurious hotel, you walked in and met the handsome young man who was in charge of filling your bank account. You walked shyly toward him and greeted him with embarrassment. His dress code was clear: a short black dress fitted to your silhouette, comfortable shoes and normal underwear. He was going to dress you.

You looked at him, there he was, the famous Hwang Hyunjin himself from the large dynasty of the Hwangs, very influential people; he was taller than you, he had sharp eyes and thick lips, he was more attractive in person and he had to tell you the same.

“You look spectacular, chérie” he mentioned flirtatiously. “Come here” he invited you to come closer and you did.

You weren't a big fan of this, but you had to admit that something inside you grew and made you feel incredibly horny, the atmosphere of the hotel, the tense silence and the incredibly handsome man in front of you, in addition to your submissive behavior… rarely turned you on a bit.

“Do you want me to call you a make up artist or your make up it’s fine?” he gently touched your hair.

You looked up to see him.

“I think, it’s okay like this.”

You were nervous and slightly horny.

You did your best job with your make up and hair already, the make up was natural and elegant but still visible, matte nude eyeshadow, sharp eyeliner, elongated lashes, soft blush and lipgloss. Your hair was styled with soft waves.

“Great, so we don’t waste more time. You look beautiful already, actually you look better than the photos” he put his hands in his pants pockets and looked at you up and down biting his lip. “The dress is ready in the room, but you know what actually, bring it right here. Dress in front of me.”

Hyunjin was already aroused and was fighting his instincts to seduce and touch you, yet you were his friend's tonight, but he thought it only fair to see first what he had paid for. He sat comfortably on the couch and waited for you to return. On the other hand you were more than nervous and strangely agitated with excitement, that dark-haired man dressed in a tight suit all white because that was the theme of the party and finally there it was, a dress whose style and logo you could recognize so well. A white Versace mini dress that you assumed would fit to your mid thighs, you thought you had only seen that style in black so it was strange to see it in the brand's signature pearl white; until you saw the name Hyunjin embroidered on the label, was it designed for you? A shiny black Jimmy Choo silhouette heels, and a white crossbody bag from the same designer of the dress, you were speechless, so amazed that you almost forgot Hyunjin's request, he wanted you to change in front of him, then you saw something that terrified you, a beautiful white lingerie that went perfect under the dress, he wanted to see you naked.

You wanted it to be quick, almost like pulling off a bandit, so you tried to take everything and brought it close to him where you found him sitting on the couch ready for his little private show. You undid your black dress at the bottom so as not to ruin your hair and unthinkingly removed your underwear. Hyunjin was engrossed, he wondered why he didn't choose you, but for him after seeing your naked body. He was struggling as hard as he could to keep an erection from appearing in his pants, but it was too late.

You took off your low sandals ready to put on your underwear but he interrupted you.

“Let me help you.”

He took the garment and squatted down while helping you slide your panties to your area. Hyunjin enjoyed every second of the soft touch of your legs and then stood up to help you fasten your strapless bra. You could feel the tension in the air so you just bit your lip, resisting his hot touches and his warm breath on the back of your neck.

Finally you put on your dress and heels and you looked completely different, you never thought you would get to wear something like that to a type of event you don't frequent. You awkwardly moved the things from your bag to the new one and tried to regain your sanity.

“Something's missing” he spoke and grabbed your left wrist.

Hyunjin put on you the characteristic white clover bracelet with gold from the refined Van Cleef jewelry.

“Well, you've seen Minho. This is the key and it's two floors up from here” he added, handing you the access card. “I want to see the two of you together in the gallery, he may even could offer you the double of money so you can leave, but please, you have to go with him.”

Hyunjin now spoke in a commanding tone giving you instructions, his hot moment had passed, he had to concentrate.

“And please… let me know if you and Minho fuck, if the idiot doesn't touch you we can maybe go to…. how about Santorini?”

It seemed that you had your feelings locked in a box and that you acted according to a fever dream. You thought you were an actress and could get out of it easily, you just had to act. Your role was now about a rich girl wannabe.

You entered the room unannounced as instructed by Hyunjin and took a few steps forward until Minho heard the door open, interrupting his grooming time so he came out of his room wrapped in a towel and still with slightly wet hair.

“I didn't order room serv…” he said.

Minho stopped dead in his tracks as he looked at you standing there. You didn't know what to do, you were frozen in place; you looked at him, he looked handsome and was half naked, except for the towel covering his private parts, you couldn't help seeing him, his worked body, muscular arms but not exaggerated, his abdomen marked with a small scar above his navel and…. you felt bad but you thought he was looking directly at you too, his marked penis above the white towel. Minho smiled sideways at your nerve to look at him and could tell your mild surprise as you looked at his package, a valid reaction he thought.

“You're in the wrong room or are you lost?”

Minho could predict why you were there, after all you could only get in with the key. He looked at you sternly waiting for an answer. You took a breath and spoke.

“I will be your companion today at the art exhibition.”

Minho laughed and let out a breath.

“I don't remember ordering a hooker either. That fucker Hyunjin sent you, didn’t he?”

The term took you by surprise and you were offended, you were about to defend yourself when he continued speaking.

“Seriously, you can go, I'll pay you more than whatever that bastard gave you, just go” he waved his hands in a gesture for you to leave.

“I won't.”

“Will you make me call security?”

“Do it” you challenged.

Minho exhaled in annoyance and touched his forehead in concern.

“I'm going to kill Hwang Hyunjin.”

Without another word he went back to his room and thirty minutes later he came out ready dressed in a white suit with his serious expression. He looked at you for a few seconds with contempt as he passed by you and headed towards his door ready to leave, you ran towards him, leaving at the same time.

“I don't know what Hyunjin is up to but when I see him I'll…”

He was expressing himself annoyed until more people entering the elevator interrupted him.

“I'll get my car keys” he said to you indifferently as he walked away towards the hotel counter.

You followed Minho, keeping a distance; you glanced around, being able to see from the huge waiting room to the large entrance to the restaurant where you could also see and your heart stopped for a moment when you spotted a long dyed blonde hair sitting at one of the tables. You turned quickly, hoping he couldn't see you, but as if fate would have it, you managed to see him leave his seat and approach the foyer. In panic you slipped into the waiting room where you sat with your back turned.

Felix went straight to Minho.

“Lee Minho” he blond greeted him enthusiastically.

“Hey, Yongbokkie, what brings you here.”

Minho turned to look at Felix and frowned when he saw that you were no longer behind his back, he looked at you for a few seconds until he deduced that you might have finally run away, which made him happy and disappointed at the same time.

“It's Olivia's birthday dinner”.

“Oh, congratulate her for me” the blond smiled at him.

“Are you about to leave?” Felix said.

“Yes, I'm going to Hyunjin's.”

“Sure, sure, maybe I'll stop by later.”

Minho just smiled at him and asked a few more trivial questions about his parents.

“Mr. Lee, your car is outside waiting for you” the employee interrupted them.

“I have to go Felix, I'll see you later.”

“Of course.”

You were hiding, praying that Felix wouldn't recognize your hair and suddenly you saw him chatting with your 'date' for tonight, apparently they were friends so you felt more terrified, what if by chance Minho decides to tell Felix? Oh you would be ruined. After the short talk you saw Minho leaving towards the exit so once again you slipped away almost running to catch up with Minho. He was surprised to see you back by his side. Minho said,

“Mm, the night was just starting to get nice when I thought you had left.”

You gave him a dirty look and followed him to his car where you sat in the passenger seat. When Minho put on his seat belt he noticed the shiny gold detail on the strap of your dress, it was the medusa logo characteristic of that high fashion Italian brand.

“The bastard dressed you in Versace, you already look more like his than mine.”

You stood still not knowing what to say, it was maybe the first nice thing he had said to you during all your short time together.

Minho inspected you quickly, he was so upset that his friend didn’t lie, and just like Hyunjin said, you were a really pretty girl.

“But he didn't put earrings on you, if you're going to come with me you have to look your best.”

Once again he spoke in a resigned tone and arrived at Tiffany's jewelry store. Minho was resigned to the fact that you would accompany him tonight so he thought if you were going to make Soyul jealous, you really had to do it. Besides he had already inspected you, at first glance you were too pretty and that dress fit you like a dream so that speeded things up.

Once again, you had to go behind him and you entered the luxurious establishment.

“Good evening, Mr. Lee, how can I help you? Would you like something to drink?” the worker hurried to say to you once you entered, with a smile, looking quickly towards you.

You noticed how she looked at you in surprise since Minho hadn't brought another girl since two years ago when he was still in a relationship.

“Nothing for me in particular, I'm looking for earrings for women.”

“Of course, I'll show you.”

Minho followed the young woman and you followed Minho, who led you deeper into one of the display counters; you had come a lot of times with Felix every time it was a special occasion for his family since he had been raised among only women, he always offered to buy you some jewelry but you flatly refused. And now there you were, about to accept them from a stranger.

“Choose” he ordered you. “Quickly, I don't like to be late” he looked at his watch.

Timidly you leaned down to look at each one of the fine jewelry until a pair of gold diamond earrings in the shape of a flower caught your attention.

“These” you murmured to Minho.

The clerk stood waiting for his confirmation.

“I'll take those.”

He quickly took care of paying for them without looking at the price and they were finally delivered in their characteristic turquoise box with a white bow. He got into the car first and left the box there, you snorted for a second annoyed at how ungentlemanly and attentive he was, one second you felt like a princess wearing Versace and taking you to Tiffany & Co. and the next you had to run to keep up with him.

As soon as you got in, he said curtly:

“Use them, we're about to get to Hyunjin's.”

You watched him take the steering wheel attractively and noticed two boxes in between of you. You didn't know why you took the other one and Minho, noticing it, quickly placed his hand on yours stopping you.

“It's the other box.”

You looked at him, he acted a little strange; you took the other box and put on those sparkling diamonds. You had taken the old engagement ring that Minho bought for Soyul before they broke up, he was ready to give it up as it was of no use to him, it was made to fit his ex-girlfriend's finger.

When you arrived you saw that it was not a simple exhibition, but a chateau style mansion with many cars parked at the grand entrance, you got nervous, just like Minho, normally he didn't get like this but it would be the first time he would see Soyul accompanied by the man why she left him and also he had his first kind of date after so long.

Minho let out a breath.

“Well, we have to do it right. You're an actress, right? Create a character right now so we can both be on the same page.”

You didn't know what to say.

“I can change my name and….”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Which one is right for you?”

“Anything…”

“Choi Eunjoo… photographer from…”

“A place far away, what about Jeju?” he mentioned intensely, he was nervous.

You nodded. You had chosen the name of an inactive random actress who studied at the same university as you, who was a friend of Felix's mother and whose cinematography he forced you to watch while your friend argued how good she looked at her age. If they try to look you up for your name, they would be surprised to see only her and her inactive projects in the early 2000s.

“Okay, let's go.”

You both walked down the dirt road, once you came out of the darkness and Minho noticed people watching, he grabbed you by the waist.

“And what is your real name, Eunjoo?” he whispered to you.

[…]

It was better than you expected, you didn't imagine that there would be a construction like this in the modern city, you drank Champagne while you didn't leave Minho's side even for a second; after a couple of drinks you both relaxed completely and walked around the house and admired Hyunjin's paintings. This was maybe a normal Saturday for Minho, but it was for you a dream, you felt like Cinderella, once the clock struck 12 and the charm would be completely gone.

At one point in a room you both finally met Hyunjin, Minho came over to greet him and you shyly watched them chat, Hyunjin gave you a complicit look and smile, he hadn't seen Minho relaxed in years, sadly it was short lived as Soyul entered the room.

You noticed Minho's jaw tighten and saw where his eyes were fixed, on a pretty slim woman with the face of a celebrity. You quickly understood and walked over to Minho, linking your arm around his.

“You're here” she said to him.

She quickly looked at you.

“I'm still Hyunjin's friend.”

“Jung Soyul, nice to meet you” she introduced herself.

You held hands and Minho saw something that broke his heart once again, an engagement ring on her finger, suddenly the alcohol left his body, he felt sick, the suit was suffocating him.

“Choi Eunjoo” you smiled at her.

“So are you dating?”

Hyunjin could notice the sour look she had on you and that caused him satisfaction.

“Yes” Minho went ahead to say.

“I haven’t see you before, Choi Eunjoo.”

She said hypocritically, blinking repeatedly.

“Oh, it's just that, I'm an indie photographer from Jeju and… I met Minho and the rest is history.”

“Oh, now that's romantic.”

“More romantic than getting to know each other when you're in another relationship” Hyunjin added amusedly, taking a sip of his drink.

Soyul gave him a dirty look. And Minho didn't find it funny, he wanted to get out of there. Soyul knew him so well and noticed his expression, meanwhile you were analyzing the look of pity she was giving your boss, so you turned to see him, he looked serious and pale. You quickly approached his ear, covering your lips and whispered to him:

“We can get out of here if you want, pretend I'm saying something nice to you and smile naturally. You're acting weird.”

And so he did, Minho smiled softly; he hadn't felt the touch of another woman in years, suddenly your warm breath and soft lips brushing minimally against his ear pleased him.

“We haven't seen the whole exhibition yet, excuse me” he added, taking your hand.

You moved far enough away and, in a crowded room, he let go of your hand and walked out the large doors to what you could see was a balcony. You didn't know whether to follow him, but you did anyway.

He had unbuttoned his suit and a few buttons on his shirt, he felt suffocated. You saw him leaning against the white stone railing.

“Should I ask what's got you like this?” you said softly.

“You don't have to follow me around all the time” he added defensively. “Soyul cheated on me and now she is going to marry that motherfucker, what a great night to find out.”

You didn't say anything, you didn't know how to comfort someone and in a way, Minho was grateful for your silence.

“Well, once I say it out loud it sounds pathetic” he added.

“Hyunjin told me it was complicated for you…” you approached him and hesitated to touch him, but slowly rubbed your hand on his back, “that he wants the best for you and you start to meet new people.”

Minho let out a chuckle and watched you carefully, he hadn't given himself the task of observing how pretty you looked in that dress, under the moonlight, the way your eyes sparkled and how your lips looked so appetizing, Minho found himself losing his temper a bit for you so he quickly rejected any feelings and immaturely, he became elated and said:

“I don't know why I'm saying this things to a hooker anyway.”

He brushed off your touch and walked away leaving you absolutely lost and somewhat hurt.

The rest of the night you didn't find Minho and you were starting to get scared, you felt out of place, lost in a huge house, full of rich people laughing in their own social circle, you were so sensitive you wanted to cry, you wondered if Minho had abandoned you there.

You checked the time, past midnight and 5 minutes, it was time to go. You tried to look for a way out until you made it, you felt so embarrassed that you would ask for a cab but the signal on your phone there was terrible.

Suddenly you felt a big hand grab your wrist, you turned around scared and found the man you almost cried for tonight.

“Let's get out of here.”

Confused, he led you to his car and you parted on the road in silence. Minho had pondered all night and wanted to take the next step, to finally be with a woman other than his ex-girlfriend, but he didn't know exactly how to ask you.

As you merged into the city you realized he was heading in an unknown direction until you reached the hills in one of the more upscale neighborhoods and finally saw that he had taken you to his house.

You thought he was a selfish piece of shit and there were two options, suddenly he wanted to fuck you or he went home exhausted and sad and would let you call a cab to take you home. But what you didn't know was that he was cynically leaning towards the first option.

You got out of the car and now he was the one running towards you.

“Why that face y/n?” he said, approaching you.

You looked at him indignantly, suddenly he was calling you by name and wanted to have you close, you thought he must be drunk.

“Let's go inside, you have to be a good girl and thank me for the earrings, I'll make sure to buy you more pairs.”

He grabbed you by the waist, you noticed how his voice became gravelly, but that wasn't how you fell and he knew he said a couple of hurtful things but he didn't know how to apologize. You questioned whether you should play along, fuck him and call it a day and go home, as sadly you had to play along, or so you thought.

You stared into his eyes, those big dark eyes in a cute cat shape, he was attractive and from what you saw earlier he had a good dick, so you decided that if you would cry at least make sure it was worth it.

“What do you have in mind?” you rounded his neck and moved your face closer.

He smiled mischievously and, the next thing you knew, you were both in his home entrance devouring each other's lips. Minho had a lot of dirty ideas while he was away from you during the party, the alcohol made him horny. He took off his coat and untucked his shirt and undid his belt. He slipped his hands under your dress lifting it and shamelessly squeezed and massaged your ass, drawing you to his body where you began to feel his erection rubbing against you; Minho loved the idea of touching your bare ass since you only had tiny panties on, you moaned as you felt his lips and tongue on your neck, for some reason his mouth was so soft and you were a complete sucker when you were treated to a lot of physical contact during sex.

You parted and an act of lust, he sought to undo your dress and bra, he stared at you, semi naked for him and began to move his kisses down your breasts without breaking eye contact, it looked fucking good to watch him as he moved down your body and feasted himself on your tits until he moved down to your underwear and wet pussy. By this point you were panting and in need of action. His sharp nose brushed against your mons pubis and he slowly slid your underwear down your legs until he stripped them from you. He parted your legs a little and you felt his hot breath on your area screaming for attention. Minho took your pussy with his big hands and parted your folds, sticking his tongue out shyly and giving your whole pussy a deep, dirty kiss. You gave a little cry of excitement and didn't think you were capable of standing in heels while he ate you out.

Minho felt so good, with his thumb he stimulated your clit as you gave little spasms into him from your excitement. He noticed that you were becoming increasingly impossible to hold so he stopped, carried you suddenly upstairs to his room. Minho laid you down on his bed while he stayed on the edge of it finishing undressing himself. You watched the spectacle with excitement, from his notorious veins to his hands undoing buttons that looked tiny and finally his pants releasing his big firm erect cock, your heart raced faster just watching it, it was delicious, he was incredibly endowed, it was big and thick with notorious veins, you bit your lip thinking how incredibly painful but pleasurable that would feel in your pussy.

Minho saw your reaction and quickly positioned himself over you, he took your wrists and held them with one hand above your head.

“Did you like what you see, little whore?”

You nodded, unable to speak properly, if you tried to say anything it would surely be in a needy tone. You could feel him slapping your belly every time he came closer to you.

“You want it in your mouth?”

You almost screamed please, but before you could speak, Minho lay back waiting to be satisfied. On your knees and arching your back purposely giving him a view of your dripping pussy, you took his big cock and inserted it into your mouth tasting every vein. Minho sat up and began to fuck you with two fingers inserting them into your vagina. You are a mess, completely wet, with cum and saliva sliding down the corner of your lips, you didn't think it could have been better until you feel his hands on your hips and he tries to position you on top of him. You helped him a little and for the first time you were experiencing the 69 position.

You were panting between his big dick, your nose was starting to get slippery and little tears were coming out of your eyes. On the other hand Minho had his tongue deep inside you, he was tasting your labia, and stimulating your clitoris and from time to time he passed your wetness stimulating your exposed ass.

You stopped sucking him off when you felt your climax near, you sat up while resting your hands on his marked abdomen, only your gasps and grotesque sound of Minho devouring your pussy could be heard in the room, occasionally he would let out tinies 'mmmh' enjoying every second of you. You clung more to his abdomen and lifted your ass gently so as not to rest all your weight on him; you threw your head back blinded with pleasure.

“I'm gonna cum” you announced in a desperate, choked cry.

And just when you didn't think it could have been any better, Minho accelerated his licking and sucked harder, bringing you to the edge until you collapsed in his mouth. Your orgasm had been so strong that it hurt your abdomen a little.

You pulled away from him, embarrassed and soaking wet but Minho was more than happy. He leaned back on his elbows and wiped his mouth with a smile, it had been a long time since he had the intimacy of good sex, let alone eating such an appetizing nice pussy like yours, he smiled as he was satisfied that he was still excellent in bed.

You looked at his naked body again, his hard cock was needy and sensitive and within seconds you were horny again. Minho grabbed you roughly by the face and kissed you heatedly. He pulled away from you and with his hand made a motion indicating you to turn around, confused you showed him your ass and put yourself in four.

Minho without thinking caressed your buttocks and then spanked you hard 5 times in a row, each stroke exalted you and made you moan pleasurably, your skin was burning with pain, you could predict that your ass was thus as red as your riotous cheeks.

Minho played with your pussy a little, reinserting his fingertips, you saw him take a condom and within seconds you felt the latex on the tip of his penis teasing your entrance. Until you felt him slowly insert half of his erection and then insert the rest all at once causing you to let out a soft cry. You arched your back again as you gently moved your ass, adjusting yourself to his massive cock, filling your insides.

“I'm going to fuck you hard, kitten.”

He murmured and without warning and without mercy he began to ram you bestially making the sound of his pelvis slapping your buttocks resonate along with the sounds of your wet and well lubricated cunt. You couldn't help but moan every time he was inside, you felt like you were going to swoon all over him, it felt so good for you as well as for him, finally, the adrenaline and desire to fuck someone who wasn't as vanilla as his ex-girlfriend, Minho always liked to fuck hard.

You were in paradise, you were wearing diamonds and he was abruptly pounding your insides. Minho was holding you by the hips but soon grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled it, riding you wonderfully; his view was beautiful, he pulled his grip tighter and pressed you to his body, your back rubbing against his bare chest, you could feel his cock protruding from your lower belly, thrusting you hard. In one swift movement, he held you with his strong right arm whose naughty fingers pinched and stimulated your clit and with his left hand he began to gently choke you. He gasped from time to time in your ear “fuck” over and over again. You both synchronized your climax and you felt the grip of his hand on your neck getting tighter and tighter until you couldn't breathe, you adored it, you loved how your body was fighting for oxygen but at the same time seeking the culmination of your pleasure, your heart beat faster and oxytocin shot out of your system and in desperation you placed your hands on his hand on your neck, you felt every vein exalted from his strong grip.

You thought you were going to pass out but it was only your shuddering second orgasm, Minho slowly released you and cum on the condom still inside you. You ended up exhausted, racing and with your limbs trembling.

You had never been fucked so well that you almost felt the need to tell him I love you so you could have him forever.

The next morning you woke up naked, still in his comfortable bed. When you opened your eyes you found Minho buttoning his shirt, he looked all tidy and was getting ready.

“Are you going somewhere on Sunday?”

You spoke, hoarse and still asleep.

Minho turned to see you and smiled, he thought you looked cute with your hair in disarray and your face a little puffy, but after a second he regretted it. He refused to feel anything for you other than just desire.

“You have to go. The driver is outside.”

He told you coldly and walked out of his room, leaving you slightly heartbroken.

He was unbelievable.

[wherevenusholdssomeofficespace]

Linda Flynn-Fletcher

I think Linda Flynn-Fletcher is potentially one of the most misunderstood characters in the show.

It think comes from a natural enough place. Her role in the show is of course, to act as the potential threat to their summers of fun. While they boys never see her as a threat, narratively she's the big bad. If she sees it, its game over.

Here's the thing though. She's a not a bad mom. Her children LOVE her. Similarly to how Phineas and Ferb absolutely adore Candace and would do nearly anything she asked, Phineas, Ferb and Candace all love and respect their mother and don't disobey her. Now a bit of this is clearly Linda being a more permissive parent, but any rules that Linda has Phineas and Ferb never do anything to disobey their mother. While I wouldn't be surprised if there were one or two instances where Candace disobeyed her mother willfully, the closest I can think off off hand is Candace not doing a bunch of chores that she was supposed to do. Really, the fact that all her kids love her, shows how much all her kids feel loved in their household. And I think that's super important. Candace wrote a song about how much she feels loved by her mom, even if her mom is dismissive of Candace. But she still goes with Candace to see what the boys are up to even if she doesn't believe it. She sets boundaries on how often Candace can bust the boys sure. But she hasn't forbidden Candace from doing it altogether. Nor does she punish Candace for presumably lying?

At MOST Linda will say something like: "let's get you out of the sun" after a failed bust. The worst of it I think is probably the time Linda made her promise not to try or suffer the Pharaohs curse. Which, was just some guy in a Pharaoh costume telling Candace curse you. Linda goes out of her way to read books to try and deal with her daughter. She and Candace still clearly hold a lot of affection for each other and do spend a decent amount of mother daughter time together. Linda gives books to her daughter, tries to direct her to other activities, and finds her sleep busting cute, and sometimes goes out of her way to do activities her daughter wants to do with her. All things considered Linda is REALLY patient about Candace's busting. Could she be doing more to get to the bottom of why Candace is presumably acting out? Sure. But Doofensmirtz could also be doing a better job of listening to his daughter and not insulting her (or do we not remember why Vanessa wears earbuds around the house) but we all call him a really good dad.

A LOT of shows have kids hiding a secret from a parent for one reason of another. But while the crux of the show rests on Linda not knowing what her sons are doing, its not because its a secret. The boys aren't hiding it from her. The boys genuinely believe she knows. Lawrence genuinely believes she knows. Candace is the only one in the family who really grasps the situation.

Linda's ignorance, her disbelief of the wild shenanigans that her children get into is easily mistakable for normality. For representing the oppressive day to day. The same thematic antagonist as school. A mom who wants whats best for her kids, and thinks that whats best for them is them being normal, without realizing what's really best for them. After all why else we saw what would happen if she found out in Quantum Boogaloo. But the fact of the matter is aside from that one future (which also featured an effectively evil leader in Doofensmirtz, and therefore implies more factors at play than just Doofensmirtz and Linda's characters), we don't really know how it would play out in the long term. Future Linda even just kinda moves on after discovering the truth.

Linda is exactly like her kids. She just does the same things on a less physics breaking scale. The woman has like 37 different hobbies. She takes a cooking class, donated an art sculpture, is part of a jazz group. She has a background in astrophysics. She was a pop star. She won a meatloaf contest. She takes french lessons. The fact that Linda has several hobbies is part of the reason the formula works at all. Linda is constantly trying new things which gets her out of the house, while her sons are trying their own new things. Her absence is what prompts Candace to have to go looking for her. Also, What Do It Do when the moment Linda gets put in Candace's position she acts the exact same way.

Also it's why she and Lawrence are so compatible. They have a lot of weird hobbies they spend together. She likes Lawrence's history references. They watch car racing together. They went spelunking together. They go bowling regularly enough to have equipment. She has played the bagpipes while Lawrence danced (which sidenote: do you think she taught Candace how to play the bagpipes?).

Not to mention her extended family. Think about it. Her mom was a competitive roller derby skater who once bit a skate and shook it like a dog with a chew toy and pulls elaborate pranks with her identical twin. Really she's a lot like Candace with her aggressive passion. Her dad apparently won a balloon race, but tells the story in the most straightforward way possible, sometimes very oblivious, but is overall a lot like Phineas. Her sister is an adrenaline junky. And back to Quantum Boogaloo for a minute: Her granddaughter is just like Candace, Grown up Candace is a lot like Linda. Do you not see the implications!!?!?!? LIKE???? DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT LINDA WAS PROBABLY A LOT LIKE CANDACE AND PHINEAS WHEN SHE WAS YOUNGER?!!?! YOU THINK IT SKIPPED A GENERATION OR SOMETHING???

Do you think Linda used to complain about Tiana??? Do you think Linda thought her family was weird and was embarrassed by them??? Do you think Linda ever called herself the only mature/normal member of her family?? LIKE CANDACE DOES????

Anyway, Linda is just like her family. Sure, she is RELATIVELY more normal, but that's relative, and probably simply because the universe bends itself around to keep her from knowing. Linda literally cannot find out about the real nature of her universe. Linda is just a grown up version of her children, seeking to make the most of each day, but within the bounds the universe has set upon her, both as an adult woman and mother, but also in the laws of physics expected of her. But she still makes the most of her life. You don't have to build a roller coaster to make the most of each day and all that.

I think if Linda is representing anything its that even parents can have rich fulfilling lives. Where they make the most out of each day. Having fun with your life doesn't stop with adulthood. Even if you have more responsibilities doesn't mean you can't have fun? Sure childhood is something you can't get back but growing up isn't inherently bad either?

[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 18

Part 18:

"Why are you walking in circles around my house?" Art looked amused as he opened the door and leaned against the doorframe. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, and that he was a bit of a jerk for enjoying her embarrassment so much. But her flushed face and the staged eye roll were worth it.

"Because I was early." Liana muttered. "How did you know I was here?" she asked, stepping closer to him while he stayed put, taking his time to look at her. Still amused but also trying to hide his concern. He hadn’t heard from her for three weeks. Not since Atlanta. Until she sent a message yesterday asking if she could come over.

"I have windows in my house and you've been doing patrols here for ten minutes. The option to ring the bell exists, you know." He said, keeping his tone light. "I have a friend who always says that being early is just as rude as being late. You could have had plans." She said and shrugged. As if he would make plans half an hour before knowing Liana was supposed to come over. After five years of not being alone in the same room.

"I didn’t have plans and you can always come early when you come to me." He rolled his eyes. If he had the courage, he would have told her what he wanted to say and offered her a key to his apartment under the excuse that he wasn't always home, but if she was early, she could come in. He desperately wanted her to feel comfortable entering his home. Without knocking. Without ringing the bell. Just come in and sit on the couch or open the fridge. To be an active part of his life. The life he was trying to build for both of them.

"I brought wine. It's cheap, don't be a snob about it." She showed him the bottle and walked past him, causing him to move a bit but not manage to ignore the sensation of her body brushing against his for a second. He knew leaning on the doorframe like a douchebag was a good plan. God, in moments like these, Art felt so pathetic. "Put it in the fridge if you want. There's a bottle of white wine there, we can open it in the meantime." He shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. As if he hadn’t put that bottle there especially because he saw her order white wine that night.

"So we won't drink my cheap wine?" she asked, opening the fridge and pulling out the cold bottle that even looked fancy. Annoying. "If you prefer the wine you brought, I can open it, it doesn't really matter, it'll just take time to chill, and there's already a cold one." Art said. He didn’t want to come off as condescending. He knew she hated that. He wasn’t trying to buy her friendship with money. He knew he couldn't. They both grew up in abundance, Liana never lacked anything. He wouldn't buy her with wine. But the hangover from the wine he offered would pass faster than from the one she bought.

"I don't know." She really thought about it.

"Next time you come and we want wine, we'll open the bottle you brought, deal?" He liked the sentence that came out of his mouth. As if stating she would come again. She just rolled her eyes. "You think that was smooth, don't you?" she asked and laughed. "You have to admit it was something." He retorted, seeing her move to the living room while he pulled out the wine and took out two glasses.

"Hey." He said after he sat next to her on the couch and they both took a sip of the wine. "This is really good wine. I kinda hate you." she said in response and he laughed. "It's whatever." He shrugged. "Hey." She replied, looking at him. "You disappeared on me." He said quietly, not taking his eyes off her. Art Donaldson had a way of examining Liana as if he saw all of her. As if he had all the time in the world to look at her, and he would use all of it. She felt her ears turn red under the intensity of his blue eyes.

"Don't look at me like that, Art. It makes me nervous." She sighed, and he shrugged again. "Do I have to think twice now about how I look at you so you won't get nervous? You're a big girl, stop getting nervous from looks." There was amusement in his voice. It was friendly but had an additional layer that Liana couldn’t quite put her finger on. "You're such a dick." Another sip of the wine.

"Tell me about those weeks." He stated. Almost not giving her a choice, there was no question mark at the end of his sentence. "It was a great fun, I watched all seasons of 'Gossip Girl' from the beginning." She smiled a forced smile.

Art recognized the exhaustion. She looked tired and sad, trying to hide it with excessive perkiness and humor. He didn’t want to give her the pleasure. He wanted her to talk to him. He wanted honesty and he wanted it now. He wanted to touch the raw flesh. He wanted to know her level of loneliness, if she was thinking about Patrick. If she was in contact with him. If she planned to forgive him.

"Liana." He sighed, running a hand over his neck as he took another sip of the wine. "You want to hear that it was shitty? Because I didn’t come here to cry, Arthur. I'm kinda tired of crying." She lifted her legs onto the couch and put her head on her knees.

"Then don’t cry. Just tell me what's going on here. I never know." He said, gently pointing at her head as she smiled a sad smile. Art thought that smile hurt him too much. He didn’t know that someone else’s smile could hurt him in his bones. How is that even possible? What kind of connection is this? How long has he felt this way? Did he feel her inside his body since he was born? Will it pass with the years?

"I miss him. A lot." She said after a few seconds of silence and didn’t look at Art. "I know it's not what you want to hear, Art. But that's the truth," she returned her gaze to him, her head still on her knees. Art moved close enough so he could hug her. He didn’t know what got into him, but she looked so small on his couch. So fragile.

"Can I?" he asked after her head was already on his chest, as if the question even mattered. He put down his glass and with his free hand ran his fingers through her hair. Inhaling what he could of her scent. "It doesn’t matter what I want to hear, Lia, I just want you to tell me something. It doesn’t have to be good this time." He muttered, wondering if she could hear his heart beating as she curled up on his chest.

"I feel so alone here, Art. Sometimes it hurts my whole body. It's like everyone dressed in white, and I dressed in black. And losing Patrick for so long was really too much. I feel crazy," her voice was so small and he knew her eyes were full of tears even without seeing her. It made him close his eyes and take a deep breath.

"You're not alone, Liana. Not in America. Not when you and I are in the same time zone..." He moved for a moment, missing her touch automatically. He felt the need to look her in the eyes when he spoke. "You could have called me. I would have come. I would have stayed with you." He meant every word he said. "You know that's not possible, Art, right?" she muttered, her voice accompanied by a faint sob. "I can't be what you want me to be right now." She looked back at him. Big green eyes full of tears. "You surely know by now that I'll take whatever you give me, Liana. If you need a friend, I'll be your friend. It doesn’t have to be more than that." And that probably hurt him to say more than it should have.

"You don’t want to be my friend, Art." She said, taking a sip of her wine that stood next to his on the table. "I want to be what you want me to be." And in Art's opinion, that sentence was the most logical thing that had ever come out of his mouth.

When Liana entered her apartment, she wasn’t drunk. She was tipsy. The boxes she had packed for Patrick were no longer in the middle of the living room, and getting to the kitchen to grab a glass of water wasn’t as complicated as it had been a few hours ago.

“Hey.” She heard from behind as she took a sip of water. “Fuck! Patrick!” she screamed a second after the glass fell from her hand and shattered on the floor. “Shit, don’t pick it up with your hands, wait a second.” He mumbled and went to get a broom and dustpan. She sat down on the kitchen chair and looked at him. He looked neglected. His stubble was long and messy, there was a stain on his shirt, and in her untrained opinion, he had lost weight.

When he finished cleaning up, he stood in front of her. Neither of them said anything; they just stared at each other, and Liana felt that if this silence continued, she would burst into uncontrollable tears. “Why are you here, Patrick? I gave you plenty of time to collect your shit.” She sighed. “I needed to see you.” He said quietly, leaning against the counter, not taking his eyes off her. “You’ve seen me. Now you can go.” She swallowed, afraid to stop looking at him.

“No. Liana. I need…” his eyes reddened. He tried to hold back the tears. Seeing him like this made Liana want to forget everything. To overlook. To let it pass. To give in. Because who is Liana Levy without Patrick Zweig at this stage of their lives? And how can she let him leave her (their) apartment when he looks like this? How can she continue living without knowing if she will ever see him again?

“I’m sorry I told you like that about the baby. It wasn’t right.” She said, forcing herself to keep looking at him, because turning her head now would be insensitive. Patrick respects her more when she doesn’t avoid looking at him. Why does she still care if he respects her? He definitely didn’t respect her in Atlanta.

“Can you tell me about it, please?” he asked in a choked voice, and she sighed. “There’s not much to tell,” she took a deep breath, hearing the tremor in her own voice. The whole situation was strange, “I don’t know if you remember, but about half a year ago, there were a few days when I felt really bad? I threw up a lot?” she asked, checking if he understood what she was talking about. He nodded silently.

“I didn’t know who to talk to,” she continued, and this time he looked away. As if to say what they both knew was in the air;  Why didn’t you talk to me? Why didn’t you talk to me? Why didn’t you talk to me? “I talked to Tashi…” his gaze returned to her, surprised. “She went with me to the clinic, and that’s it.” Again, deafening silence.

“Do you want to know about Atlanta?” he asked. “Will it help you to know?” he added quietly, wiping away the tears and continuing to look at her. “What will it give us, Pat?” she asked with an exhausted chuckle. “Why didn’t you talk to me?” he asked what had been on his mind for the last few minutes. Maybe for the last three weeks, since she had venomously yelled at him about the baby, trying to hurt him as he had hurt her.

“Because I no longer think I know how to talk to you.” This time she couldn’t stop the tears. She was choked with them. Her hands covered her face from him, and he automatically moved closer to her, detaching from the counter. “Lilo, look at me for a second.” He asked softly. Where was this softness in the last few years? Where was the man she thought she knew so well?

She stood in front of him, letting him hold her hands by her sides. They looked at each other, his tears dried up while hers still flowed uncontrollably, her lip trembling almost as much as her leg. She just wanted one more moment. Just one. A good one. One she would remember fondly. “It’s me. It’s still me. I got a little lost, but it’s still me.” He said, wiping her face once more. Again, gentleness, again, tenderness. “I don’t know how to find you, Patrick, and I can’t keep wasting my life searching.” She hugged him suddenly, pressing her cheek against his chest while he wrapped her in his big arms, the ones that always promised it would be okay. But how would it be okay? How would it be okay if he left this apartment and didn’t come back?

“I love you.” He whispered above her head. “I love you too.” She replied. It was the truth. “I just don’t think it’s enough,” she pulled away from him.

All that was left were two people who knew each other perfectly. Every smile and every freckle. Every facial expression. Every emotion, but they caused each other more harm than good. “I wish you had told me.” He meant the baby again, and she nodded, “I wish I could have been there for you.” He added.

“I wish a lot of things.” She sighed.

She kissed him suddenly.  It wasn’t full of passion and wildness like most times their lips met, it was heavy and tense. A feeling of necessity and fragility conveyed in salty lips from tears. Tongues slowly uniting, an understanding of an end. Of something that would never return. Patrick’s lips parted from hers only when they were both desperate for air. His forehead touched hers amid short breaths.

“I love you so much, Liana. I don’t know who I am without you.” He said again. Like a child’s confession. Like a convict’s confession who received a death sentence. “We owe it to ourselves to find out. I have to learn to love myself enough alone. And you have to find real reasons to get up in the morning.” She responded After a few seconds. “I’m afraid that I’ll leave here and won’t have a way back into your life, Lilo. I’m afraid you’ll erase my existence as I can never erase yours.” Another confession. His eyes were closed; this time he couldn’t look at her. Not when he was this exposed. Not when he had no defenses.

‘So why did you do it?’ That’s what she wanted to ask in response. ‘Why did you throw away four years of our lives and many more years of pure friendship? Why didn’t you give us a real chance at any stage? Why do you always give up on yourself? why did you give up on us?’ “It hasn’t been working for a long time, Pat, we were just afraid to admit it.” She sighed again. “And if I’m still afraid to admit it?” Another quiet question. A rhetorical one because what else was there to say.

“I love you. I will always love you.” He said for the third time and placed his key on the table. His fingers touched hers for one more moment.

“Maybe in another lifetime, it’s enough,” she said with a forced smile as another tear fell. “Maybe there’s a world where Liana and Patrick are in love, and it’s enough.” He nodded and chuckled in defeat. “Sounds like a beautiful world. Call me when you find it, okay, Amanda?” He asked in a broken voice and left the apartment.

“I promise.” She said, but no one heard her.

Hey again, how are we doing with all the angst? I swear, this part was almost too sad to write, but I feel like it's important to have some healthy conversations. It helps them all to grow. As always, I love it when you message me what you're thinking, so use that askbox PLEASE :)

taglist (if anyone wants to join, just ask) @soberbabes @nina357 @lamoursansfin @marley1773 @ruyaas-world @apolloscastellan @primlovesdilfs @fangirl-kimora @serenadingtigers @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @ganana @yoitsme-04 @swetearss

[causenessus]

love notes

part 0.19. UNSPOKEN CONFESSIONS

"it wouldn't break your back to stand beside me."

from superstar sh*t by dominic fike, left at the umeda sky building, osaka

“are you gonna tell me where we’re going yet?” he asks as the train starts to move, their arms brushing as they both lurch to the right from the sudden change in force.

it’s taken everything within her not to immediately spill out her entire heart to him. the moment she opened the door and saw him, she couldn’t think of anything but all the art he’s been sending her for the past two years– of all the places he’s taken her. she knows he’s done so much for her, and she tells herself she needs to do the same. she needs to wait until they get to their destination.

“nope,” she hums giving him a bright smile. thinking of what she’ll say when they finally arrive (she’s trying not to refer to it as her impending doom) makes her feel surprisingly calm. perhaps, compared to the amount of stress that's been building up for the past four years starting from when she first saw him at the vending machine, the thought of actually getting out her feelings isn’t as bad. “but i’m sure you can guess. you’ve got the train we’re going on, and i’ve mentioned something about what we’re going to do before.”

he looks at her, brows raised and his lips quirked up into a smile like hers, as if her mood is rubbing off on him. he started off the day feeling quite lethargic, but ever since her texts, he’s been feeling more energetic. his heart’s been racing almost every time he looks at her, and he’s reminded of the texts he sent her two nights ago, and how she responded. she's been tweeting about him, saying she’s missed him, and he has yet to bring it up. depending on where they go, maybe he’ll find the time to bring it up today. “do i get to know what stop we’re getting off at? and when did you mention it? like in the last week or…”

she purses her lips in thought, looking ahead of them, out the window and the bright city passing by them in a blur, “no, you don’t get to know. and i think i mentioned it….within the last two years?”

he lets out a laugh that has her turning back to him, confused as if she hasn’t given him the biggest time frame ever to work with. “within the past two years? yeah, i think i’m better off just waiting until we get there, actually.”

“i guess that’s fair,” she says, letting out her own laugh, glancing down at her own phone to double-check what stop they're getting off on. 

the rest of their ride is quite relaxing. she finds it simultaneously hard and easy to talk to him; she’s giving him curt answers without meaning to, as most of her focus is directed towards thinking of what she’ll say to him in the next hour. but he notices and opts for a quiet game they often play on long train rides instead. he kicks the side of her shoe with his foot and she kicks him back. it’s a game that usually gets out of hand, and soon they’re knocking knees and hitting each other through fits of laughter before they try to calm down– an old lady is giving them the eye from across the train and only shakes her head when they both try to straighten their clothes, acting composed.

he smooths down her hair without thinking twice about the action, but the feeling of his hand on her makes her freeze. her face turns red and she can’t bring herself to look at him, instead pretending to be distracted by something on her phone, when she’s really just staring at the map on her screen.

the train slows to a stop and she stands up, turning to glance quickly toward him to make sure he’s following. he walks behind her as they step off the train where she momentarily stops, trying to navigate which direction they’re supposed to be walking in while he looks up and around, taking in his surroundings. his brows are knit, like he’s trying to figure out what could have possibly brought them to this area of osaka.

“and you still won’t tell me?” he asks, walking alongside her when they start moving again. he tries to peek at her face, but she's still refusing to look up at him from her phone and he’s not entirely sure what he’s done to make her suddenly act so shy again.

she’s a mess and she knows it. and she knows she’ll continue to be until she talks to him, so she only shakes her head. “no, i’m not ruining the surprise. but you’ll figure it out soon enough.”

the walk is short. it takes them just under 10 minutes and after crossing a busy road, they're walking through a trade center next to a tall building towering high above them.

rintaro walks next to her, but his head is tilted back as he looks up, and she can’t help but admire him from the side. “a skyscraper?” he observes aloud.

she nods, “it’s the umeda sky building. have you not heard of it before?”

he looks back down at her, yellow eyes sharp as always as he stares at her, and she tries her best to keep her composure under his gaze. “no, i haven’t. what are we here for?” he asks, tilting his head. “it's cool, but i’m just curious. you seem like you have something planned.”

she bumps shoulders with him, feeling like for once she gets to be the mischievous one, hiding something from him, “i do have a plan! i guess you’ll just have to keep walking with me, and find out.”

he’d walk with her to the end of the earth and he wouldn’t utter a single word of complaint about it if he had her. he almost thinks to tell her as much, before he holds himself back, continuing to look at her while she turns forward, trying to find the entrance to the tower.

they take an elevator up at least 30 floors, the both of them watching a small screen at the top of the elevator that counts how high up they are in the sky. afterwards, a long escalator takes them up even higher. it’s a little dizzying, seeing the ground so far below her, and she ends up stealing glances at the boy beside her instead. he seems intrigued by the height and sights below, and as they step off the escalator, they stand at a window and watch the sight of the city below them.

she’s feeling a little brave, and hell, she’ll be confessing to him later today anyway, she might as well start giving him hints. subtly, she tugs at his hand, pointing to her right with her free hand when she has his attention, “there’s a cafe over here if we want, and then we’re actually here for something else.”

he nods and follows her, but she keeps her hand wrapped around his. the contact is making his breath shorten. he’s torn between holding her hand back or just letting her continue to drag him along, but he decides to intertwine his fingers with hers and when she looks back, lips curved into a smile, he’s glad he took the risk.

the cafe serves drinks and ice cream, and they settle on just a matcha ice cream, with two spoons to share. they talk a little more, sitting at a high table with the sight of the bustling city below them right outside the window before she pulls him along again. they walk through a doorway to a balcony outside where a breeze is gently blowing through. they pass by a security guard, clad in a white button down, who is leaning against a railing when he sees it.

a level below them, there's a fence with an assortment of padlocks on them and it pieces together. the day he asked her to take him to the darkroom with her, and the conversation they had on the way there. she follows his gaze down to the fence and they both stop, looking over the railing from where they are. “do you remember now?” she asks, watching as a couple walks out from the floor beneath them, a locket in hand as they search for a place to put it on the fence.

‘i don’t think i’ll ever forget a word you say to me.’ he wants to say. so many words have gotten caught in his throat today, all of them unspoken confessions. “yeah. i remember now,” he opts to say instead, eyes following the same couple she is, as they bend down to attach it to the fence together. "couples leaving a mark on their city. a lock symbolizing their love that will last longer than they were," he recounts from their conversation years ago.

“wanna put one on with me?” she asks, looking him straight in the eye. 

every noise dies out for a second at the question. is this where he’s supposed to tell her he likes her? way more than a friend? and that she shouldn’t ask him to put a heart locket on a fence that will be there for the rest of their lives and even after when he doesn’t see her as just a friend? because she’d tell him if they were putting this locket on together as something more than friends, right?

“sure,” he ends up saying, because no matter how much he worries about his feelings and how he shouldn’t be doing this to her, he can’t help it when it comes to her. he’s selfish, and he wants to do everything he can with her. he wants to be with her every second of the day.

his hand is in hers again, and he decides to take the chance, rather than worrying about how he'll overthink the moment later. wasn't this what his entire high school volleyball career had taught him? the banner that hung behind him at every game; telling him to live in the present, rather than thinking about memories. he holds her hand just as tightly as she is, and they practically run down a set of stairs, coming to a counter, a sign reading HEART LOCKS hanging on the wall behind it. underneath the sign is an opening in the wall, where heart-shaped lockets are hanging, organized by color. 

they decide on a pink one, and they’re given a blade to engrave their names onto it. she etches her name into the back of the padlock first before handing it to him, and he feels the pit of guilt gnawing at him as he writes his own name. he shouldn’t be doing this when he feels differently from her than she does, but when they give the blade back to the worker and she looks up at him with a smile, the locket in both of their hands, all of his worries melt away again.

like the pair they saw earlier, they walk outside and along the fence, looking for a place to put their own locket. they decide on a high rung of the fence, and they both close the padlock around it together, his hands over hers.

when they step back from the fence, both unable to look away from the lock, she tears her gaze away first, looking at the boy in front of her. this is the moment she’s been waiting for. “rin,” the words spill out of her mouth before she’s truly ready, but he looks away from the lock to her, giving her his full attention, and she can’t back down. the script in her mind that she’s worked so hard this whole time to form fades away, and she decides to just go for it. “i like you.”

his breath hitches at the words, and he swallows heavily, frozen in place. his eyes dart back between her and the padlock, mouth opening slightly. “y/n–” the only thing that comes out of his mouth is her name, but she cuts him off before he can finish.

“wait– please– let me finish. just hear me out until the end, please. i don’t want to get any of this wrong.” his lack of response is causing her confidence to dwindle with every second, and she nervously pulls at her fingers out of habit, but he gives her a small nod and she continues, “this is gonna sound really stupid, but i’ve liked you since high school, honestly. i’ve wanted to tell you for so long but i’ve just been scared. and then i found out you’ve been leaving art about me in other cities and i felt selfish. like this entire time i've been wrapped up in my own head and it's been preventing me from giving you clear signs about how i feel about you when you've been doing so much for me. and i’m sorry but god– i’ve liked you since we’ve met. i’ve been drawn to you ever since. even after we graduated, my feelings hadn’t gone away. but i didn’t think you felt the same way– i mean you’re just completely out of my league. you’re so talented and i feel like i don’t deserve everything you’ve done for me. all the time you’ve spent with me, everything you’ve sent me, all the places you’ve shown me– you're too good to me. but this is my way of trying to give back to you for once. and i wanted to take you up here to confess– although i guess i shouldn’t have forced you to sign a love lock with me before doing that–” she laughs nervously at her own mistake, and he laughs with her, out of his own anxiety.

and because she’s cute, for thinking there’s any chance he doesn’t return her feelings. he doesn’t think there’s any words that could explain to her the yearning in his heart for her, that’s been pulling her towards him in the same way ever since he first saw her. so instead, he steps forward, hands lifting to run through her hair and gently hold the sides of her head to pull her close before he kisses her.

her eyes widen in shock initially, but soon enough she's squeezing her eyes, reaching up her own arms, wrapping them around his neck and pulling him closer. their noses knock into each other, but neither of them can care. their heads are dizzy and light without oxygen, but it’s like they aren’t even close enough, despite their bodies being flush with each other.

he only barely pulls away when he’s forced to catch his breath, but his face is still inches away from her own, pretty yellow-gray eyes boring into hers. “you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that for,” he says, lips brushing against hers again as he talks.

the corners of her eyes crinkle as she smiles, unable to do anything but laugh again, “you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that. and it still feels unreal.”

“i can do it again,” he replies quickly, not even giving her the chance to respond before he’s kissing her again, hands holding onto her sides.

his lips against hers feels like everything she could have asked for. it’s more vibrant than any picture she’s ever taken, and despite her eyes being closed, the feelings it gets across is more powerful than any sight she could ever see.

when they pull away again, they’ve ended up against a railing, her back pressing against the cold surface as they both hold each other close.

“and just for the record,” he says, a teasing smile on his face, still unable to look away from her, “i think i would’ve stopped you before we signed a locket together if i didn’t feel the same way. just a thought.”

her cheeks flush, and she feels like she’s been brought back to reality, her eyes averting away from him as the grip of her arms around him loosens.

“hey,” he has a hand on the side of her face that draws her attention back to him, and she finds herself reflexively pressing gently into the palm of his hand, “keep looking at me. i’m not letting you out of my sight now that i have you, and i’ll give you my whole confession too.” she laughs, continuing to stare at him, finding herself admiring every small feature of his face. she’s never been this close to him, but now that she is, she finds herself memorizing every curve and line of his face. “i’ve liked you for just as long, you know. sometimes you being there for our games would mess me up. i’d keep looking at you and eventually kita caught on and chewed me out. but i thought it’d be weird if i told you in high school, because we never talked so i didn’t think you’d return my feelings. and then at graduation, osamu lectured me too and i decided when we got to college i’d finally get to know you. i was really surprised, honestly, when you let me follow you around the photography department, and take you on walks at night around the city, and would let me bother you your entire shifts with osamu. and you deserve every single thing i've given you and more. but i thought you just considered me a really good friend after everything we did together. i thought i'd completely messed up and gotten myself stuck in the friendzone forever. and honestly, i was going to be happy there. i was gonna be happy as long as i had you–but i’ve thought about you every waking second. i’ve wanted to be with you since i met you.”

she can’t help the way her face softens at his words, and her heart is beating faster, she does the same thing he did after her confession. she pulls him in for another kiss, and he’s quick to reciprocate it, a hand pressed against the small of her back, keeping her from the railing. 

when they break for air again, they remain in each other’s arms. it’s an unspoken, mutual thought they’re both having: ‘now that i have you, i’m never letting you go. it’s been too long.’

she ends up running a hand through his hair, combing it back, and he’s admiring her face, taking in every single detail.

“well, osamu will be happy finally, won’t he?” she can’t help but joke, and he chuckles.

“yeah, he’ll finally stop getting on our ass all the time, that’s for sure. maybe that’s why i’ve been so tired lately. he’s been the one giving me a headache this entire time,” he says, finally taking his eyes off her, only to lean closer, nuzzling his face into the side of her neck while she holds him close.

“he meant well,” she says halfheartedly, running a hand through his hair. “he has been with us these entire four years as well. so has atsumu and omi. they got sick of it and told me about your graffiti.”

his head snaps up in surprise at the mention, “they’re who told you? those little shits, atsumu can’t keep a secret to save his life, i should’ve known. but omi–”

“well–” she cuts him off, trying to defend their friends, “atsumu was tired and was running his mouth and accidentally ended up saying it, so he doesn’t have an excuse. but then i pulled in omi to the conversation and forced him to confirm it, so you can’t blame him.”

rintaro rolls his eyes, “whatever. they both still betrayed me, and omi almost gave me away with the flower box, didn’t he?”

“speaking of which,” she says, looking at him with a smile, “you need to take me back there. you promised to give me those flowers, you know.”

he returns her smile, a lively glint as always, and she can’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be than his arms. they’ve always been on the move, wandering around new places, and going new places, yet it never bothers her. she has him with her. he is her comfort, her walls to keep her safe, and her home. “we can go now, if you want.”

“let’s do it.”

prev. | m.list | next

extras <3

everyone thank osamu for his service that man was definitely one of the people pushing the hardest for suna and y/n

THEY KISSED (finally) <3 i hope you enjoyed!!!! and that this wasn't a super underwhelming chapter or anything :)

the umeda sky building is a real skyscraper in osaka where you can legally put love locks on a fence <3 it's only purpose is for love locks! it's vv cute <3

i watched a 12 minute video last night of someone touring the building so i could see what it looked like LMAO

when suna was leaving to see y/n the rest of his roomates were in bed but they heard the front door unlock and all peeked their heads out to see who was leaving

i did make moodboards for love notes as a whole, one each for suna and y/n, and one for them together <3 you can see them on the masterlist if ur interested!!

one chapter left!! let's go epilogue <3

taglist: @0moonii @iluvmang @bluebeanbee @wyrcan @oyasumeii @zumicho @gyuijns @nbcvs @milkteade @eggyrocks @guitarstringed-scars @makkir0ll @mylahrins @cherrypieyourface @vivian-555 @sharkerino @r0seandth0rns @staileykout @lunavixia @thvvluvr @elliott0o0 @wolffmaiden @rockleeisbaeeee @toges-cough-syrup @cnnmairoll @ryeyeyer @hibernatinghamster @localgaytrainwreck @lemonocity @bows4life @sereniteav @madiexuberant @eclecticeggknightpsychic @phoenix-eclipses @sonicsolos @httpakkeiji @brkfclub @snail-squasher @starry-magicshop @cr4yolaas @kitnootkat @zzzlevislothzzz @iluv-ace @iluvaquaphor @stayyyyyyyyyyyy21 @applepi25 @twiishaa @girlkissersco @sleepystrwbrryy @encrypta  

[poppy-metal]

Oof and Patrick finally confronts you one day. Demanding answers.

"Cmon, princess, we fucking live together. The least you can do is bitch me out to my face instead of with your eyes."

"You've always annoyed me, Patrick. You know that." Are you gaslighting him? Maybe. But you barely understand what you're feeling, what are you supposed to say?

"you want to know what I think?" And he doesn't wait for an answer. "I think you're angry at me because it's safe. Youre scared Tash will turn on you again if you ever express your anger at her. And Art has those puppy dog eyes that make him impossible to be mad at anyways."

"Oh yeah, and that night in the bar has nothing to do with it."

"There it is. You're pissed I was picked first." You want to slap him because it sounds so petty when he says it. "But do you really understand why? Because I do."

"Oh, you do?" You snap. "Please, enlighten me."

"Because I'm like a fucking lost dog and they know it. They could've said anything, done anything, and I still would've been there. And as much as you might think youre in the same boat, Tash has never seen you that way." A pregnant pause. "Tash never believed you would actually come back to her. Art always knew I'd come back."

toxic polycule has my heart im gonna bleat like a lamb

hating patrick because his leaving hurt the worst - you could reason why tashi and art did. it was in arts nature to run and repress and tashi had blocked everything out after her injury. it didn't make it okay but it made sense in your head. but patrick - you'd shared your pain with him. you'd shared your body. you thought you might be something someday maybe. later down the line because you were both so reckless and self destructive.

"its whatever, patrick. i get it - we were a distraction for eachother. and now that we're dating them there's really no need for us to interact. i don't give a shit who picked who first -"

"bullshit. it's always fucking stung that they chose eachother over you. and it fucking hurt when you thought they chose me over you too."

you dont want to talk about it. last choice. its what you were, no matter how you spun it. in this love square of four you were at the bottom. they'd be fine without you. you'd agreed to start dating art and tashi tentatively - but you still held yourself at a distance from all of them. you refused to move in. refused to let any of them call you their girlfriend. you had your heart to protect. a relationship of four? it wouldn't last. and you'd be the first on the chopping block.

"sure, patrick." you say. "okay."

its tiring to argue.

he searches your face. his eyes are annoyingly intense, and it feels like he's peeling back your head to look into your brain. unspooling your thoughts.

"i missed you." patrick has the ability to soften his voice in such a way that it makes your heart jerk in your chest. your bite the inside of your cheek until you taste blood. "i thought about you. i think about you. it fucking sucks you won't talk to me."

you close your eyes. you remember a night years ago when his lips had pressed against the back of your neck. holding you after sex - and it was the first time you'd slept together without talking about art or tashi at all. and it felt good. you thought you might be enough for someone, finally. that maybe he saw you and wanted you for you, and not because of the pain you shared.

stupid. he just wants you now because you're close and its convenient. it's more convenient if you're all sleeping together and there's no tension and you're all happy and its all sunshine and rainbows and no one is thinking about when this all will end.

well, you had to be that person. because you refused to be blindsided.

"it was just sex, patrick. we were scratching and itch. you dont need me to scratch it anymore, and i dont need you either. we can be civil, but its not deeper than that between us."

you can see the flash of anger in his eyes at being dismissed. you dont think to process it as pain. you doubt you have the power to hurt patrick zweig at all.

[redtsundere-writes]

Jinx | Sukuna Ryomen

mma fighter!sukuna ryomen x femalecoach!reader

Part 6. In My Hands.

Beginning. ← Previous | Next →

Sypnosis: Sukuna is a world champion with anger issues. It's believed by many that he is untrainable. Yeah, you can't train him, but you can dominate him. Contents: Fighting. Sukuna being Sukuna. female reader being dom. Jinx AU (the BL, not the character from lol) Warnings: Mentions and sexual harassment. Angst. Humiliation. Cursed words. Word Count: 3551 words. A/N: Hello peeps! This is a kind reminder that you need to fix your posture.

I still remember the terrible day when I met Naoya Zenin. Six years ago, my first coach told me that I had to expand my horizons if I wanted to reach my full potential, so he sent me to the top jiu jitsu gym in the country. This was before Team Black Gym even existed. The Zen’in dojo was a beautiful temple on the outskirts of traditional Kyoto. There were several satisfying zen gardens, tall bamboo stalks and small ponds with beautiful koi swimming around. I felt dirty stepping into such a pure and sacred place. 

I shyly walked into the dojo. I had taken off my shoes to step on the tatami, so I wouldn’t get it dirty. The place was packed with fighters training the same move at the same time on the count of an old man who was analyzing each one of them. The walls were decorated with display weapons, scrolls with calligraphy, flags, and symbols of martial arts. The sensei started a break as soon as his eyes landed on me. 

“Welcome, you must be the student Geto sent,” he said while his eyes analyzed my physique unabashedly. 

At that time I didn't have much muscle, and it was obvious that I was a beginner compared to them. Two years have barely passed since I started training jiu jitsu seriously to get into the UFC. I was sure he thought I was just a scrawny, innocent girl as well. 

“Thank you for letting me into your dojo. I promise I will do my best,” I said, bowing politely.

“You are not part of this dojo yet,” he corrected me. “I’ll test you to know if you really belong here,”  he explained serenely. 

My hands nervously tightened the strap of the gym bag across my body. I was used to facing off in national competitions, but this was different. I would have to fight someone from the Zen’in family, a professional who had probably practiced mixed martial arts since birth. Someone who was light years ahead of me in experience.

The sensei called out a blond boy with black tips, taller and more muscular than me. A very attractive boy, but that didn't matter now. Was I supposed to face a man? I had only faced women before, could I really beat him? In that case, I had to show off so I wouldn’t disappoint Geto. 

“Meet my son, Naoya. If you beat him, you can stay,” Naobito explained without further ado before he went to sit on a small cushion that was on a step at the back. 

“Nervous?” Naoya asked me as we stretched out in front of each other to start the fight. 

“I have never faced a man before,” I confessed. 

“Don't worry, I won't be so rough. Just for you,” he said with a smile. 

“Naoya, such behavior is unacceptable!” Naobito exclaimed in annoyance. 

“I'm sorry, I just can't hurt such a pretty girl,” Naoya smiled warmly without taking his eyes off me. 

I think it was the first time I felt my heart fluttering for a boy. That only made me even more nervous. Not only am I facing a boy for the first time, it would be the first time I would be facing a boy I like. So far he has only been kind and warm towards me. I wish he had stayed that way. 

“Please, give me your best. Make me try my hardest,” I asked him nicely. 

“I like your attitude,” He complimented me. My cheeks couldn't help blushing at that. 

After Naobito announced the start of the fight, Naoya went straight for my ribs with a kick. He was extremely agile and fast. I could barely dodge it on time. I knew this wouldn't be just like any other fight, this was the fight. All my confidence vanished with each jab that made my feet instinctively recoil. I was fast, but not fast enough to dodge every punch. 

I was a floor fighter by instinct, so my best strategy was to take him down. I contorted my body to try to apply a headlock, but he wouldn't let me. He was like a worm slipping through my fingers. As soon as he maneuvered to grab my wrists tightly, I knew I had made a big mistake. Naoya was also a floor fighter. Luck really wasn't on my side this time. 

We were two contortionists fighting for control of the situation. Time was a blurry concept, my limbs were screaming for a rest and my mind was arguing with my body that we had to resist if we wanted a place among the Zen’in. I would do everything in my power not to lose this fight. 

I elbowed him in his exposed cheek in a window of opportunity. I took the chance to pin him against the floor, his arms were against his chest and he was kneeing me in the back. I thought I had won the fight, but I didn't consider my opponent's amazing flexibility. He wrapped his right leg around my abdomen and cornered me against his other leg, knocking me to the ground with the strength of his legs in an instant.

“Shit,” I gasped trying to regain control. 

Naoya, having both arms free, was tearing me apart with jabs coming right and left. He had me cornered against his body like a dangerous boa as he was beating me relentlessly. I could only cover my face so he wouldn't knock me out. I was trapped, there was nothing I could do. I hit his back three times to announce that I was giving up. Naoya stopped and pulled himself away from me completely. 

“Good fight,” he said with his voice cracking, tired as I was. 

Naoya offered me his hand to help me up. I snorted and took it kindly, I had to behave like a good loser. I think that was the moment I started to like him. Even though he was sweaty and slightly beaten, he still looked like a damn angel. His smile was intact, his hair was unruly tousled and his green eyes looked at me tenderly. 

“She got Zen’in on her, I like her,” Naoya said to his father after I thanked him for letting me fight him. 

“Yes, it's just what Geto promised me,” Naobito mentioned while scanning me, still. “I've seen enough, you start tomorrow,” he warned me before announcing to the others that the class would continue soon. “I did it!”, I thought excitedly with a big proud smile on my face. 

“Congratulations and welcome,” Naoya shook my hand again in celebration. “Do you by any chance like Chinese food?,” he asked me out of the blue. I looked at him curiously while he smiled at me. 

That damn fake and hypocritical smile glittered in Team Black's small meeting room. Sukuna and the rest of his team were analyzing Naoya's fights to plan a strategy for the big fight. I had dedicated myself to watch each of his fights closely since I escaped from Zen’in Gym, just to see how someone else would beat the smirk off his face, but all those hours were finally coming in handy. 

“We can see that he is a good floor fighter with high stamina,” Gojo explained as he looked at the textual analysis of his fights in the last three years.

12 wins with 4 losses, a great streak without a doubt. Long and defined arms, strong legs and a beastly stamina. Half of his fights have ended quickly because he has cornered them against his body and the others have been by judges decision. He was still a superb fighter and has only improved since I met him. 

“We should go to the floor. Give him some of his own medicine,” Gojo said without taking his eyes off the documents. 

“I disagree,” I said while watching the fight on the screen. Gojo looked at me as if I just kicked his dog.

“I agree with Gojo. Sukuna was able to beat Toji Fushiguro in the last fight, he has improved a lot in floor fighting thanks to you,” Nanami commented. 

“I'm not saying it because I don't believe that Sukuna can beat a floor fighter, he can, but we can't take it to the floor in this fight,” I explained. “Naoya has two types of opponents: weak and strong. He acts very differently depending on which one he fights. Last month’s visit wasn't just to annoy us, it was to see up close what he's going to face soon,” I argued. 

“And which type am I?” Sukuna asked me, raising his eyebrow with curiosity. 

“Strong,” I stated. “He has only faced opponents that he has declared as strong 3 times. Yuta Okkotsu, Toge Inumaki and Aoi Todo when he got the stupid idea to fight for the heavyweight belt.”

I had seen those three fights live on television. The satisfaction of watching him suffer in the cage was better than any orgasm I've ever had. I had been watching him from afar all this time, I knew him better than he knew himself. I knew exactly what I was talking about.

“The weak are the opponents he knows he can beat easily, that's why he goes to ground quickly. With the strong ones, he usually takes his time because he knows he has no chance of beating them and only relies on his incredible endurance,” I explained. 

“What exactly is your plan?” Gojo asked me, not convinced by my idea. 

“We have to tire him out. Keep boxing and avoid the floor. Get him out of his comfort zone,” I explained. 

“I don't think that's the best option,” the white-haired man answered. 

“She knows him better than all of us. We’ll stick with her plan,” Sukuna said determinedly. 

“Is he defending me?” I thought to my surprise. I didn't think he would do something like that. I assumed he would be on Gojo's side being his lifelong coach, but I think he noticed that this fight mattered more to me than to him. Sure, he wants to keep his belt, but I want to break his pride. He was fighting for honor, I was fighting for revenge. 

“I agree with her. Sukuna is a great boxer, and now he knows how to escape from the floor. He can tire him that way for the last rounds,” Yuuji commented. 

“Well, I think that settles it,” Nanami sighed looking at Gojo. 

We left the meeting room. Nanami and Gojo went back to the office, while Sukuna, Yuuji and I were going back to training. I already had a foolproof training plan in mind to get my champion in his best possible shape. I would do anything to see Naoya suffer live. 

“Thank you for defending me back there. I assure you that you won't regret it,” I promised Sukuna. 

“I didn't defend you, I just made a good decision,” Sukuna said without paying me much attention.

“Call it whatever. Thank you,” I smiled at him anyway.

He looked at me like he always did, cold and serious. Every day I felt that I was getting closer to him. We may not have been the best of friends, but Sukuna knew he could trust me completely. I was really proud to have progressed that way with him. 

“Let's train!” I exclaimed excitedly. 

“I'm sorry to interrupt you,” someone said behind Sukuna. It was the physiotherapist, Shoko. “It's time for your session,” she reminded us.

“That's right,” Sukuna checked the time on his phone. “You can go now. See you tomorrow,” he said goodbye before following Shoko to her office. 

Sometimes I was surprised how often Sukuna needed so many sessions with the physiotherapist. It was at least one every week. When I was fighting, I didn't need more than one session a month. Well, that was until I messed up my neck, in which case, I went three times a week. As soon as they entered the medical room, I turned to Yuuji. 

“Something wrong with him?” I asked curiously. 

“What are you talking about?” He asked me, confused. 

“Is Sukuna physically well? Why does he need so many sessions with the physio?” I clarified. 

“Don't worry about him. He's fine,” he said with a small blush running down his cheeks. 

“You're a bad liar, tell me what's wrong,” I asked him.

“Well, it's just he has… “sessions” with the physiotherapist. Do you know what I mean?” he asked. Yuuji said the word “sessions” with a wink. 

Is Sukuna fucking the physiotherapist? That made perfect sense. I knew there was a reason why she was the only woman in the gym before I arrived. I just couldn't see her being his type. Shoko was very pretty, but it seemed like she didn't put much effort into her appearance. She always wore the same clothes, plus she smoked a ton, so always reeked of cigarettes. 

“I would never have guessed it,” I commented. 

“Neither do I. It's hard to tell with him, though. He's never had a girlfriend or even dated,” Yuuji commented. 

“That damn personality is the problem,” I thought. Sukuna was a ridiculously attractive man. While I was researching workouts that I could implement into his training, it occurred to me to look up his name on the internet. The first thing that popped out at me was the cover he appeared on for Men’s Health magazine. He looked amazing in the skin-tight bathing suit they had put him in as he was getting out of a pool. The drips sliding down his abs, the tattoos decorating his sculpted body and his piercing gaze. My mouth dropped to the floor in shock. 

“But I guess he's got the girls going crazy,” I mumbled in envy. 

“Yeah, he was the school’s bad boy. They all wanted to date him,” Yuuji explained. 

I could imagine him arriving at high school on a motorcycle like a rebel, leather jacket and dark glasses. Posing like a real unattainable hunk out of a chick lit movie. The girls surrounding him as he walked through the halls, not paying attention to any of them. 

“But he was once a horny teenager, he must have liked someone,” I commented. 

“I don't remember any girls at our school that he liked, but he would blush every time Megan Fox was on screen when we watched Transformers. I'm sure it made him feel that way,” Yuuji said, trying not to laugh at the memory. 

“I don't blame him. Megan Fox made all of us feel a type of way.”

We both started laughing and then said goodbye. The drive home was quicker than I thought it would be. I started mentalizing everything I needed to do when I got to my apartment. Doing my laundry, planning this week's workout, prepping my lunches, doing the dishes… So my mind was entertained until I got to my building. 

I walked up the stairs slowly, tired from today's workout, until I reached the fifth floor. I walked through the halls to the rhythm of the song playing in my headphones. I was almost there. I was so happy to finally rest for a while, until I saw an obstacle in front of the door.

Naoya was standing in front of my apartment dressed in a suit and a small bouquet of my favorite flowers. “What the fuck is he doing here? How does he know I live here?” I wondered as I stopped in my tracks to remove my headphones. He quickly noticed my presence and smiled at me like the cynical fucker he is. 

“You're finally here, I still haven't learned your work schedule,” he said while scratching the back of his neck. 

“Have you been following me again?” I asked, upset as I approached him. 

“I just want to make sure you're okay, that's all,” he answered. “Look, I even brought you your favorite flowers.” 

Our fingers brushed as I took the bouquet. That simple touch made me remember moments that I wanted to bury in the graveyard of my memories. When we were a happy, loving, healthy couple, before he became an obsessed maniac. I threw the bouquet roughly at his feet in total rejection and slapped him across the face. 

“I don't want anything from you. Get the fuck out of here before I punch you for real,” I ordered him. 

“Why are you playing hard to get and cold?” He asked as if he really didn't know why. 

“Because when I was easy, you almost raped me!” I exclaimed without shame that someone else heard our argument, if this could be called one. Talking to Naoya was like talking to a wall. 

“It doesn't count as rape, you were my girlfriend,” he spat.

“You drugged me, asshole!” 

“Whatever, I already apologized for that a long time ago,” he said, downplaying the issue. 

“I don't care about your apology, why can't you understand that? It's one syllable, no, no, no! Shall I tell you in Spanish? ‘No!’” I shouted in annoyance. 

“I will do my best to make you forgive me and get back with me,” Naoya said as he came closer to me. I walked away at his pace. 

“And I will do everything I can to get you to stop bothering me,” I answered. 

“Oh yeah?” He challenged me. “Why don't we bet on it? Since we want different things.”

“I'd rather make a deal with the devil than with you,” I snorted. 

“If Sukuna wins, I'll stop bothering you forever and admit that I wanted to rape you,” he offered without hesitation. “Is he really so confident that he would win?” I was intrigued. 

“What if you win?” 

“You'll have to leave Team Black and join the Zen’in Clan again.” Well that was less bad than I thought, knowing his twisted mind. 

“Why do you want me to join the Zen’in Clan?” I was confused. 

“I know I can't force you to fall in love with me again, for God's sake I'm not a monster.” Cynical bastard. “So I thought that if we spend a lot of time together, as we used to do, you will want to come back to my arms,” he explained. 

“You're crazy,” I said. 

“It's a great deal,” he said. I just shook my head to ignore his proposal, waiting for him to just walk away before entering my apartment. “Or don't you have faith in Sukuna?” I hate to admit that felt like a slap across the face. 

“Sukuna is going to kick your ass,” I barked.

“Then let's bet if you're so sure,” Naoya offered me his hand to agree to enter the bet. 

“You better hold up your end of it,” I said as I accepted his handshake. 

“May the best man win,” he said before squeezing my hand to place a kiss on my knuckles. I pulled it away from him and wiped it on my sweatshirt. He picked up the bouquet from the floor and handed it to me. I reluctantly took it so he would get the hell out of here. 

“Go away,” I ordered. Naoya smiled at me and left the way he came. I followed him with my eyes until he was out of my sight. As he was about to take the stairs, he turned around. 

“Remember that luck is always on my side, beautiful,” he said with a wink. 

I used not to believe any of that before. I was sure that luck didn't exist and that the only thing that existed was unique opportunities. Believing in luck is for weaklings like Naoya who don't trust their body and abilities. That's what I thought until I met Sukuna. 

“Luck may not be on my side, but it is on Sukuna's,” I said, imitating his cynical smile. Naoya reciprocated and walked out of my sight. 

Quickly, I entered my apartment and closed the door behind me. I dropped my gym bag by the entrance to go to the window. “No way was I going to keep this,” I thought. I opened the kitchen window and threw out the bouquet of flowers as far as I could like a football. I slammed the window shut and leaned against it to take a deep breath. 

My pulse was racing. I felt anxiety invading my chest and my memories were rushing through my mind. I removed the scrunchie that held my hair in a ponytail to run my fingers through it in an attempt to calm myself. 

I sat down at my small dining room table and pulled out my notebook to begin planning this week's training. I pushed out the tip of the pen with a “click”. I tried to write the first day's name and it wouldn't release ink. I scratched the entire sheet, but the ink just wouldn't come out. 

“Fucking hell! I exclaimed in annoyance as I threw the pen across the apartment. 

Tears filled with anger and frustration began to roll down my cheeks. I pulled my hair as I cried over the notebook. I was sick of living in fear, of Naoya always knowing where I was, of him not understanding that I didn't want to go back to him. These false memories bombarding my mind every time I saw him made me mad. I had to end this. I had to finish him off no matter what. Yes, he would fight against Sukuna, but I must pull some strings behind the scenes to ensure our victory. 

Next →

Masterlist.

Order your own fanfic here! (Starting prince: $5 USD)

Taglist: @maskedpacific @thepurpleempath @mazzd4 @charlie-xo

(Let me know if you want to get tagged on the next chapter! :)

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

"The Darkness Within" PART 1 (Sonic X - Dark Sonic)

(Sonic's POV)

The faint sound of his friends' laughter and voices echoed in Sonic's ears even as he stood at the very edge of the Typhoon, a frown twisted across his face as he stared unseeing at the stars.

He hadn't felt such shame in a long time.

Normally, he did whatever he pleased without a care of what anyone thought. He did what he believed was right whether it was perceived that way or not.

So it was safe to say that the events of the attempted rescue of Chris and Cosmo had left him a little . . . shaken.

He couldn't believe the way he'd lost control.

Never before had he felt so intensely angry. Sure, he'd had a right to, his friends were hurt and the Metarex creep was threatening to experiment on them if he refused to let them do the same to him. Sure, he'd felt a little off since he'd discovered the hoards upon hoards of fake chaos emeralds.

And then— what?! He hadn't been able to think straight. His vision had nearly turned red with how furious he'd been. All he could feel was white-hot anger. He remembered hearing himself laugh like some kind of psychopath. He remembered tearing into the Silver and Gold Metarex that were meant to test him, he remembered slicing them to bits at lightspeed and feeling not an ounce of remorse as their armor exploded and they were killed.

And the next thing he'd known, Eggman of all people was scolding him and telling him to calm down.

It had taken him a hot minute to relax. Hearing that Shadow had rescued his friends while he'd been . . . like that, had startled him in the worst way.

Now they were all back, safe and sound. Cosmo and Chris were alright. Everyone on the other side of the ship was celebrating, believing the day was a victory.

In a way, he supposed, they were right.

But Sonic could not relax. He couldn't bring himself to join them, he couldn't even bring himself to smile as he stood alone on the opposite side of the ship, staring at nothing and thinking of everything.

His mind wouldn't shut up, and he didn't have enough space to run on the Typhoon. He was stuck.

What if it happens again?

It won't. I won't let it.

I don't know that, I had no idea this morning that it would happen today.

Now that I know, I'll make sure it never happens again.

Today was just proof that I don't have it as together as I thought I did.

They don't know. No one else here knows. No one knows but Eggman.

Would they be scared if they knew? If they SAW me like that?

Don't worry about it. Just keep going. Don't look back. I never look back.

But usually that doesn't have anything to do with something I did wrong.

Do I apologize somehow? Should I leave? Take some time to myself? How much time? They need me to help them fight the Metarex.

I can't leave, but I sure want to.

I just wish—

"Hey, Sonic! You doing okay?"

He jerked his head around to see Tails slowly approaching his perch, blue eyes wide and curious. Glimmering with just a hint of concern.

Sonic sat down in place and nodded curtly, his voice stuck in his throat. He'd been talking a lot more nowadays than he used to, trying to get better at communicating with people and making friends, but some days it was still hard.

Apparently today was one of those days.

And Tails could see right through him.

His face fell. "Something happened, didn't it?"

Sonic avoided his eyes, choosing instead to stare intensely at the floor in front of him as if it was a work of art.

Slowly, cautiously, Tails moved closer and sat a couple feet away. Sonic could still feel his little brother's eyes on him, but he refused to make eye contact. He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle it.

"Did you get hurt . . . ?" Tails sounded doubtful yet worried.

Sonic shook his head.

"Did the Metarex say something that bothered you?"

Another wordless head shake.

Tails didn't ask anything else for about a minute, choosing instead to let them both sit in thoughtful silence and allow Sonic to try and pull himself together.

I can't tell him. There's no way.

I can't tell him . . . all of it.

Sonic swallowed, lifting his chin and finally daring to meet Tails's questioning eyes. He opened his mouth, but could not bring himself to make a sound.

Tails bit his lip, then lifted his hands and signed, "I'm here."

Sonic nodded with a small, grateful smile, then, after a hesitation, signed back, "Something happened. I did something."

Tails tilted his head slightly, and even though he could've just spoken his response, he continued signing. "What did you do?"

There was no fear or aggression in his hand movements or expression. Just genuine, gentle curiosity.

Sonic closed his eyes for a moment, that awful feeling of shame washing over him all over again. "Something bad. I caused harm. I didn't mean to."

Tails smiled gently. "You didn't mean to. You didn't harm our friends, right?"

Sonic exhaled silently through his nose. "No. I hurt the bad guys." He didn't think there was a sign for "Metarex," but if there was, he didn't know it.

A flicker of confusion appeared in his little brother's eyes. "You stop the bad guys all the time."

He fidgeted uncomfortably, then signed, "It was different. Can't explain. I was wrong."

Tails paused for a long moment after those shaky signs from Sonic, looking thoughtfully at the sky.

"It's okay," he signed back eventually. "I know your heart is in the right place. Whatever you did, you wouldn't be feeling so bad if it wasn't in the right place."

Sonic blinked. He fidgeted a little more, then quickly signed, "Thank you."

The fox kit smiled and nodded. "You're welcome. I'm here for you." Then, without waiting for a response, he stood up and extended a hand out to Sonic.

Sonic initially thought Tails was going to bring him back to the group, but then remembered that his brother knew him better than that. So he accepted the little hand reaching for him and stood as well, then followed the fox kit downstairs inside the ship.

Tails brought him to his bedroom on the ship, gestured for him to wait there, then left. For a few minutes, Sonic sat alone, fingering the cool sheets and looking around the room, anything to avoid thinking too much again.

After those few minutes, Tails returned with a steaming mug of tea, which he carefully handed to Sonic. "Take your time," he signed, smiling sweetly. "This will help you sleep."

Sonic managed a small, regretful smile. "Thank you," he signed again.

Tails nodded, patted his hands in reassurance, and left the room.

Sonic paused for a long moment, then sat back on his bed and sipped his tea. He recognized the flavor as the same kind Tails himself used on bad nights, the ones with nightmares and thunderstorms.

He took a deep breath. Over the course of the next hour, he finished his tea over a good book. He listened to his friends' voices wind down outside on the deck.

And eventually, he slept.

AO3 version

[mayuichi]

“If I die in the process, will you join me?„

Nikolai Gogol x Reader ⟡ Warning : slight yandere behavior (kinda) I suppose??

note: i'm sorry for every Nikolai simps if i made him ooc, i really tried my best (and i think he's okay??). i still hope you can enjoy it!!

Official art from the anime.

You were pouting at him when he shoved a candy inside your mouth. It makes you gasp, chewing on it. He laughs at you, clearly mocking. You are about to make a comeback when he stands up to go to the bathroom. You blink a few times.

You don't even remember how you two ended up befriending one another. Wasn't he supposed to piss you off ? Well, he still does. But there was something more perhaps. You are his safe space, one where he can act however the hell his heart tells him to. And he is your home.

Wherever you are, as long as he's with you, then it means you belong there. You could be on the other side of the earth, if he's there, you'd be fine. You aren't properly dating though. You know, that step where no one dares to make a move.

It's so obvious though. The feelings you have for him are pouring out of your heart. Even a blind man could see it. And the way he acts with you is nowhere close to how he can even act toward Sigma. Not even close to how he treats Fyodor.

There is something about you he couldn't explain, yet he wants to comprehend it. No, he needs to. He can't spend a day without thinking a hundred times about your expression, your shy laugh whenever he's around. But he wants to hear you burst in laugh. Why can he only hear it when there's the others ? Can't he be the only one to hear it ?

He needs to know why you can't act entirely like yourself. But he knows. He knows but he doesn't understand. If you love him, can't he be the only one who sees your brightess smile, hears your most sincere laugh?

He'd be a liar to look in your eyes and say he doesn't want to wake up next to you every morning. You are the reason why he's feeling weaker recently. And he loves it. He craves for that sensation, that safety near you. Why are you so special ? He had so much plan with the Decay of Angels, why did you joined and ruined it all ?

But he can't bring himself to push you away. He wants you as much as you do. You're addicted to one another, and there's no way back now. He would kill you if he couldn't be all you need.

... You were supposed to hate each other. You were finding him over the top, and he was thinking you're too simple. But there you both are.

Sitting in his apartment for the last few days before changing place. Picking on each other, just to be annoying. He is the best though, he always manages to piss you off. But do you actually mind ? Probably not.

You sigh, walking up to the small tree. In fact, it was a tiny Christmas tree in a pot. You couldn't do a big one when you need to leave each place so often. You all did it. You managed to all be here to make it and have dinner together. For once you wouldn't be at one another's throat, trying to strangle them. It's hard to get along with them.

Nikolai insisted on placing sweets around the pot, and some candy canes with the garlands. They all let him do so. Why would they say no anyway? It isn't like they'll be the one to be in the apartment a lot.

You stare at the red and white sweet. You can't lie, the colors remind him somehow. He haunts your mind, isn't he ? You reach out to take one in your hand. He's like sugar, addictive and intoxicating. He would definitely be more likely to be the reason of your death. But you don't mind it.

Hearing footsteps coming closer to you, you turn around to see his tall figure hovering over you. He leans closer, to take a candy over the table. At the same time, he skillfully steals the one in your hand. Placing the small candy on his tongue, he inspects the one that caught your attention earlier.

He hums, a faint smirk appearing. “It reminds me of you. You are as sweet as this candy cane. I want to cherish it, and devour it. Just like with you. I bet you'd taste as good. Sugary like, or perhaps more like a cotton candy?„

He approaches, until you become stuck in between him and the wall. His hand creeps to your jaw, gripping tightly on it as the playful light in his eye disappear. “Why can't you laugh the loudest with me ? I'd do anything for you. I'd even die. Wouldn't you do the same ?„

Any sane person would try to escape that situation. Perhaps you aren't as sane as you thought you were, compared to them. You may be as bad as them. Your gaze faltering, your shoulders sagging, you can barely keep looking at him.

“No.. I would. Of course I would... But I may be scared to make you think I am not good enough...„ you admit. After all, who could be enough for a clown?

A deep, low chuckle emits from him. His finger tracing your face, and stops at your nose. “Do you think so ? Have I not been clear enough?„ he gives a gentle pinch, freeing you. He picks a few candies on the table, sitting down on the sofa once again.

He pats the seat beside him, hurrying you to join him. “If I die in the process, will you join me?„ you don't expect such a dark talk around such a joyful period. But he is right. You take place beside him, hesitantly placing your hand over his.

Without even speaking, he already knows your answer. It's so obvious. A playful smile covers his stern look, and he leans to press his head against your shoulder. “That's what I thought. That's why you are the only one who'd suit me.„

Everyone is sure of his feelings for you. If anyone were to deny it, they'd be such fools. But yours, even if pouring out, you would deny it. You know they're real, but you can't trust your feelings. You want to deny them. And he knows it.

He undoes the paper around the candy cane, before tapping it against your lips. “I'll be waiting for you to be sure. Even if it takes years, I'll be waiting. But don't let me die without letting me know I haven't been delusional.„ he half heartedly jokes.

You could guess what was going in his head. And why he left to the bathroom for several minutes earlier. He didn't wanted to snap at you, not when you are so vulnerable. So he had to bring himself back together.

He squeezes your hand, and you squeeze it back. “... I won't. I promise. Let me just a few more days...„ you breath out, and he nods.

“If you can make someone such as I, a clown, be so weak, then you shouldn't be fret about the truth in my words.„ he closes his eyes, sliding the sweet past your lips.

“Thus is the truth about your clown, lovesick for you.„

/ᐠ - ˕ •マ Ⳋ mayuichi's property. do not repost, copy or translate it without permission.

[catacombbee]

welcome home (i missed you dearly)

tyden tattoo shop au; crossposted on ao3:

INSPIRED BY A POST @the-killies MADE

just mentioning beforehand they are older in this bc they are adults bc tyler has a tattoo shop BUT the way tylers thinking abt aiden isnt meant to be sexy hes just thinking aiden is very very pretty boy okay this isnt supposed to be horny okay pls dont make it horny 🔫

sometimes theres just the desperation to touch someone to feel someone to be near someone. so im totally projecting

also i dont know exactly how tattoo shops work if anything is inaccurate SHHHH dangles gay in front of you to distract. does the distraction dance

It had been two years since Tyler had seen Aiden.

Sure, they kept in touch. The group chat was more alive than ever even after they all graduated. Life drew them in their own different directions, but they'd always be friends.

And yet it had been two years since all six of them met up in the same place. They had gotten together to celebrate most of their respective college graduations. Taylor had been working at a mechanic shop for over a year at this point, and her boss loved her friends so much that he ordered pizzas for them to celebrate. Of course they ended up back in the graveyard, sitting together in that bus as they ate and laughed and fell asleep on each other.

Tyler had made friends in art school that filled the gap that was left when he didn't see his five best friends every day. No, they'd never replace the others, but he felt less alone. By the time he graduated, he and two of his new friends really wanted to open their own tattoo shop together.

Taylor pointed out that the building beside her shop had been empty for sale for years. Tyler thought it was pretty funny that even into his career he couldn't get away from his sister. It was great, by all means. He got a discount on car maintenance, and they got a discount on their tattoos. It also meant he got the honors of giving Taylor her first tattoo himself. TH + AB inside a heart was pretty sappy, but he didn't tell her that when he did it. He was happy she was happy.

And he was happy. He was thriving. Ever since he gave up baseball, accepting that it wasn't making him happy like it used to, and let himself embrace his creativity, he felt so much more comfortable in himself. Who knew that art scholarships were a thing?? Why had no one told him??

But now he was living on his own and making enough money to not only support himself but pay for his mom's therapy. She was doing better, too; Taylor hadn't moved out when Tyler did, opting to stay living at home to take care of her. Now all three of them were moving uphill. Tyler was happy, he was secure, the tattoo shop was busier than ever. Everything was great.

And then Aiden Clark walked through the door.

Tyler wouldn't say he was disappointed to see him. No, far from it. In fact, he was far happier to see the blond than he would let himself admit. While most of the group was in college, Aiden had taken his parents money and gone who the hell knows where. Italy, France, Germany, Japan, other countries that Tyler couldn't remember, he saw it all. Along the way, he'd posted almost every bit of his journey online for people to live vicariously through him. At least, that's what Ashlyn called it. People loved watching him not only traverse beautiful landscapes, but also explore other cultures and share stories from people he'd met.

That meant that, as Aiden built an online following large enough to support himself without his parents' help (which in hindsight was probably his goal), Tyler got to watch through a screen as he did all sorts of impressive or death defying feats. Because of course he did. He's Aiden.

It's one thing to watch someone in full scuba gear get locked in a shark tank. It's another to watch him set up a camera and jump off of a cliff into water shirtless.

There were a lot of videos where he ended up shirtless, actually. A byproduct of his love for being in the water. Surfing, swimming, snorkeling- why did so many of those words start with an S anyway? Aiden did it all. And he did half of it wearing nothing from the waist up.

Seeing Aiden shirtless made Tyler's heart flutter every time-

"Tyler!" Aiden broke him from his thoughts. Fortunately. Instead of thinking about how nice he looked in his videos, Tyler could focus on how nice he looked standing right in front of him.

"Aiden," he responded, the second half of the name coming out like a bark as Aiden slammed into him with a bear hug. "It's so great to see you!" He said, squeezing Tyler not tightly enough to take his breath away as much as he did. "How have you been?"

He had been absolutely horrible before he saw Aiden. What the hell was he doing that would dare compare to this man wrapping himself around Tyler like he was never as overjoyed as he was now seeing him again?

"I've been great."

Aiden let go and stepped back. Unfortunately. He grinned up at Tyler, who was still proudly taller. "You look great. I mean, I saw you in some of the pictures posted on your place's Insta, but you look even better in person, yknow? Your tattoos are so cool woah-"

Tyler was much too distracted by the sound of his heart thudding in his ears to pay much mind to Aiden poking and prodding at his arms excitedly. He was blabbering something about how he couldn't wait to have a tattoo of his own- wait, what?

Shaking himself back to reality, Tyler pulled his arm back. It was the only way he'd focus: without Aiden's hands on his skin. "Are you here to get a tattoo?" He'd thought Aiden was just visiting. Why wouldn't he just visit? Ben came by to visit and didn't get a tattoo. Logan came by to visit and didn't get a tattoo. Ashlyn-

"Yeah! I already know kind what I want, too." Of course he did. "Oh, is it okay if I record some of it?" Of course it was. "I don't know if you follow my channel that much, I just wanted to show them the process." Of course. "Plus! I can say HEY here's this cool place! So if you're in the area and you want a tattoo, come see my buddy Tyler!" Of course.

And he wanted Tyler to give him the tattoo. And he wanted it on his back. Wings. Of course. Of course Aiden wanted a large tattoo on his back. Of course Aiden wanted Tyler to sit for hours and look down at his naked torso and have to focus on not screwing up the ink just because his client is pretty. He had tattooed pretty men before! This did NOT have to be any different.

But they weren't Aiden.

Aiden came with some reference photos. He and Tyler came up with a design Aiden liked. It wasn't that elaborate, but it was still going to be time consuming. Unfortunately.

Aiden was lying on his stomach, humming contentedly to himself as he scrolled through his phone, his arm dangling off of the table. Beside him stood Tyler, who was focusing so hard on his art.

Frankly, this was the longest he'd ever seen Aiden sit still. Even when he was asleep, he was such a wiggle worm. Sure, he remembered Taylor said once that she saw Aiden sleep completely still once, but he didn't want to think about that night.

On second thought, maybe that would be better. Maybe if he thought about the night Aiden died he wouldn't think about all the perfectly toned muscle that was right there. How many nights had he laid awake in bed, only his phone lighting the room, watching those videos of Aiden and imagining how it'd feel to wrap his arms around him? How many nights had he rolled over, his arms snug tightly around the middle of a pillow, so that when he closed his eyes he could imagine it was Aiden's waist instead?

How much longer could he deny that he wanted more than anything to be close to him?

After what felt like a year or maybe two minutes, they were halfway done. He'd told Aiden upfront that he'd need to come back again to finish it, which was fine. He had an opening the next day. Aiden was too eager to return. His smile was burned in Tyler's vision much like spots swimming in one's eyes after looking at a bright light.

Taylor came over to see him after work. Tyler was busy scrolling through his phone and definitely not thinking about a certain blond. "Aiden stopped by to say hi today."

"Mhm."

"He showed me his half-finished tattoo."

"Mm."

"You need to tell him you love him."

"Mhm."

Taylor punched him in the arm. Ow. She was fucking strong. "Tyler, c'mon." He finally made himself look up at her from where he was sitting. "We all knew it years ago, and here you are still acting like you don't care."

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Don't care what, that he's back? Of course I care that he's back, he's my friend."

She looked at him unamused. "You sure don't look at each other like you're friends," Taylor argued.

Well, what the hell did she know?

Tyler grumbled to himself the entire drive home. He sulked about it as he sat down to watch tv. He moped as he laid in bed, trying to sleep. He dreamed about it, Aiden's laugh echoing throughout his subconscious. He grumbled yet again as he trudged into into work the next day.

Aiden was back late that afternoon.

Surely he must have noticed the way Tyler was avoiding eye contact. The way he practically mumbled in response to Aiden trying to spark a conversation. The way his hand shook as it pressed against his back for the first time that day.

"Don't fuck up my tattoo, halfwit," Aiden grumbled playfully, turning his head to try and look up at Tyler.

He just smiled in response. "It's been a while since you called me that."

Aiden shrugged, earning a scolding from Tyler who was about to put the needle back to his skin. "Well, it's been a while since we've seen each other. I missed you."

Tyler's hands paused. Only for a second.

"I missed you too," he admitted. He really, really had. Far more than he would admit. He missed that manically brilliant grin, knowing something mischievous was soon to follow. He missed the way he laughed, the way he always knew what to say to get on everyone's last nerve, the way he masterfully turned the attention onto himself to distract from whatever was going on around them.

He missed how close they were when they saw each other every day; it gave him more chances to get close to Aiden.

"Why wings?" He blurted out, desperate to change the mental subject to something that did not include wishing he could wrap his arms around Aiden and ask him never to leave again, or worse, to beg him to let Tyler come too.

Aiden hummed, wiggling, despite however many times Tyler had told him off. He was either really lucky that he never made Tyler mess up or he was really good at moving only when he couldn't mess Tyler up. It was impossible to tell.

But of course, he stilled when Tyler leaned back in to continue his work. "Wings are a symbol of freedom, right?" He said, leaving it at that.

Tyler could feel the smile through his words, but he knew there were layers to this sort of symbolism. Freedom from the phantom dimension. Freedom from his parents, to whatever extent it hurt. Freedom from this little town. Freedom to explore the world to his heart's content.

Aiden wanted the world, and Tyler wanted to be his world. But he knew he'd never be enough to satisfy such a deep-rooted wanderlust.

Maybe Aiden was more like his parents than he'd like to admit. They, too, could never stay in one place for too long. They stayed in the house Aiden was living in through high school just long enough for him to leave the house, and then they were gone again. Ashlyn liked to tease that she preferred her new neighbors because they kept to themselves.

How deeply rooted was the Clarks' need to stay on the move? In fleeing the country to both satisfy his own desires and to escape association with his parents, how much was Aiden solidifying how alike they really were? How much did it bother him, or did it at all?

Tyler wondered so many things, and voiced none of them.

But perhaps he wasted too much time thinking and didn't spend enough of it actually talking. The tattoo was finally finished. It was late afternoon, and Tyler had no other appointments that day. Aiden was paying. He was leaving. He was about to leave, and Tyler was about to not see him again for another two years.

Tyler couldn't let that happen.

"Hey," he said suddenly, as Aiden was digging his wallet out of his pocket. "How much longer are you going to be in town?" Because if you aren't busy, we can meet up. Because if you're still here, we can go out somewhere together. Because if you're not leaving, I still have time.

Aiden shrugged. "I was gonna stay for a few more days originally, but my hotel didn't have any vacancy past tonight. I'm gonna sleep in my car and head out tomorrow morning."

Tyler's heart dropped into his stomach. Aiden was leaving tomorrow. Aiden was going to walk out that door and be gone and Tyler wouldn't know how long it would be until he saw him on the same side of the screen again.

That's why he blurted out: "Stay at my place."

Both men stared at each other, dumbfounded, neither really expecting Tyler to suggest such a thing. Aiden's eyes were wide, his tanned cheeks ever so slightly rosy. Tyler wondered if he was imagining it.

"Okay," Aiden said, his grin impossibly wider.

That's how Tyler ended up driving home with Aiden reclining in his passenger side seat. Did he insist that Aiden could just follow him home in his own car? Yes. Did Aiden somehow convince him to just let him throw all his stuff in his backseat and hitch a ride and leave his car parked outside the tattoo shop? Yes. Unfortunately.

The radio was on low; nothing that interesting was playing. Tyler could hear his own voice randomly stopping and starting from Aiden's phone. Sometimes while he was still working on the tattoo, Aiden would hold his phone up, video already rolling, saying "cheese!" and earning a glare from Tyler. Probably for the "I got a tattoo" video. A few times he even got Tyler to stop and take a quick shot of the progress, which was preferable as it kept Aiden from moving as much.

Why did Tyler suggest this. Why did Tyler suggest this. Tyler lived in a one bedroom home, all by himself, and the couch was probably fine but not comfortable enough to SLEEP on WHY did Tyler suggest this. Why did Tyler bring Aiden home. Why was Tyler helping Aiden bring his things inside and showing him around the place.

"So you live by yourself now?" Aiden asked cheerfully as he helped himself to a formerly unopened bag of chips. "That's cool. I thought you and Taylor would've still been living together but this is also cool. I guess since you work next door you need time apart, right? I wish I was still this close to Ben. He doesn't like moving around a lot, I'm happy he found a place he's comfortable." Aiden never stopped talking, and Tyler didn't want to stop him.

"Taylor's still living with Mom," Tyler said, shrugging. "We aren't really living apart cus we needed more space, I just..." How could he put into words that he couldn't stand the vacant look in his mother's eyes anymore? Even as she was doing better, how could he admit he couldn't handle the aching emptiness of that old home?

But Aiden nodded even despite the lack of an explanation, and Tyler understood that it wasn't actually needed.

That was another thing he loved-

That was another thing he enjoyed about Aiden. For all the nonstop chatter that came from him, he was actually a remarkable listener. Sometimes Tyler really struggled to put things into words, but Aiden didn't need him to. He was good at reading between the lines, and Tyler was grateful for that.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Aiden's stomach rumbling so loudly he wondered if he'd eaten at all that day. It was so stupid, he couldn't help but laugh.

The deer-in-headlights wide-eyed look on Aiden's face made Tyler laugh even harder. "I'm just going to cook some spaghetti. Think you can wait that long? And stop with the chips, you need real food."

Aiden threw the clip from the chips at Tyler; he caught it. "Shut up, I forgot lunch."

"That's not my fault," he shot back, gesturing at him with the box of spaghetti noodles. The now open box of spaghetti noodles. A small clump of uncooked noodles flew out, falling at Aiden's feet. "But that was!" He responded, picking them up and taking a bite of one. Tyler cringed.

Aiden was quiet as Tyler started cooking. Fortunately. He did chime in when Tyler was putting the pasta in the pot, shrieking until he agreed to not snap the spaghetti. Because what was he, a fucking barbarian? No, only heathens snap their spaghetti. Tyler was eager to point out to Aiden that he did the same until he visited Italy.

"It's a JOKE!" Aiden insisted through a mouthful of pasta, since Tyler had yet to drop the matter even now that they were eating. "It's a silly thing like, 'oh no! My Nonna is rolling over in her grave because you're breaking your pasta!' I don't think people actually care that much."

Tyler raised an eyebrow at him as he noisily slurped up yet another mouthful of spaghetti. He snickered, wiping his mouth. At least he had the decency to use a napkin. "Well, I like it long. It's more fun. So I guess I care."

Never again would Tyler Hernandez break pasta. At least not when he was cooking for Aiden.

Dinner wasn't very eventful, unless you counted the fact that Tyler was sitting across from Aiden Clark and talking to him and having dinner with him alone sitting in his house for the entire night. But no, no big deal. Just two guys being friends, hanging out. Two bros sitting at a table, five feet apart-

Aiden was right next to Tyler, wrapping an arm around his shoulders in a quick side hug. "Thanks for dinner!" Tyler just stared at him, because oh, now he's very close and smiling down at him. And now he was walking away with his and Tyler's plates in hand. "I'll clean up since you cooked."

That brought Tyler back to reality. "You're my guest, you don't need to do that. And don't thank me for feeding you, that's literally the bare minimum."

He was ignored; the clinking of plates being washed began as the tap came on in the kitchen sink. Tyler just sighed and allowed it. If Aiden insisted on cleaning dinner up, Tyler could busy himself with finding something for them to do afterwards, at least. After all, it wasn't that late at night; they needed something to do.

There was a dusty box of video game cases. Tyler hadn't played Mario Kart in ages.

That turned out to be the best idea he'd had all day. He could barely begin suggesting the idea to Aiden before the controller was snatched from his hands and a certain blond planted himself on the sofa, staring intensely at the screen, waiting for Tyler to start the game.

There were too many characters to pick from; Tyler always tried a different one every time. This time he picked Rosalina, earning a curious glance from Aiden. On the complete other side of the character selection spectrum, Aiden IMMEDIATELY beelined for Waluigi. His entire cart was built and ready before Tyler even decided which character he wanted.

It'd been a long time since they played together, but Tyler knew how Aiden played. Normally selecting the Mii character to play as someone like Sans, but settling for Waluigi because he knew Tyler wouldn't have his weird characters saved. All speed, not great handling. As for Tyler, he preferred putting more into acceleration than speed. What's the use in being fast if it takes you too long to speed up when you crash into shit?

And his performance proved him right. Or it proved that Aiden's Mario Kart skills were rusty and he had circled right back to noob status. Tyler won time and time again, all his time playing with Taylor when she came over for sleepovers paying off.

He let Aiden end on a high note, though. There was no way he was going to go easy on him, of course; he figured Aiden must've finally got the hang of the game again when he won the last round. "YES!" He yelled, pointing a finger right in Tyler's face. "I finally got you!"

Tyler let him have it, considering how miserably he did in the very first races. "Alright, you got me."

Aiden giggled. He giggled. And he smiled right at Tyler. Unfortunately.

"It's late," Tyler said, looking away. They'd been playing for a couple of hours at this point. It felt like they'd just sat down. "I'm not letting you stay up all night before driving for hours."

Confusion growing on his face, Aiden watched as Tyler set up a pillow and blanket on the couch. "Am I sleeping out here?"

"No, of course not. You're sleeping in my room." Did Aiden really expect to be left on the couch??

Aiden just grinned at him. "You don't have to sleep on the sofa, Ty."

It was hard to ignore the way his heart fluttered. This man was going to be the death of him. He just had to survive one more night. Surely. "I'm sure as hell not making you sleep on the sofa. Especially with a healing tattoo, you need to rest on something comfortable, dude."

But Tyler had misunderstood exactly what Aiden was getting at. "Tyler, I don't care if we share the bed, yknow."

Oh. Tyler hoped that the way his face burned wasn't visible. He never would have expected Aiden to suggest such a thing. Why would Aiden suggest such a thing? Why wouldn't Aiden suggest such a thing, actually? Why did it matter? It shouldn't matter. They were friends. Friends could share a bed. Surely.

That's how Tyler found himself laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, as Aiden scrolled on his phone to his right. He had tucked a pillow securely under his chest to prop himself up, whatever app he was using casting a soft glow on his face. Tyler couldn't help but look a few times. Just a few.

This was all made worse by the fact that Aiden was laying there on his stomach shirtless. It took Tyler dragging him back to the bathroom after they both showered and forcing him to sit down for him to remember that, yes, his tattoo needed proper attention of its own. And now there he was, lying on his stomach so as to not irritate his back, and his phone was lighting up the sleepy grin on his face. Unfortunately.

"Go to sleep," Tyler grumbled, as if the light was bothering him. It wasn't the light itself keeping him up, though. How could he sleep with this man lying a foot away from him?

Aiden grumbled back, putting his phone on the nightstand. "You don't have enough pillows. I need, like... three."

"What the fuck do you need three pillows for." Tyler only had two! The only person that slept over was Taylor, and she brought a sleeping bag and pillows for herself; she, too, didn't want Tyler giving up his bed just for her.

The response was punctuated by a scoff, as if Aiden was offended that Tyler wouldn't know why Aiden needed three damn pillows. "I need something under my stomach and my head to be comfortable on my stomach."

Then he should have brought his own. "You can't have my pillow."

"Can I just lay on you instead?"

Once again, Aiden said something that left Tyler stunned and defenseless. The room went silent as he couldn't come up with an answer that didn't sound as desperate or excited as the thought made him feel inside.

Aiden took his silence for rejection. "I was, joking, uh-"

"Yes. Uh, yeah you can. If you want to."

Silence again. This time much less uncomfortable. Slowly, tentatively, Aiden shifted closer. Placed an arm on Tyler's other side, holding himself up. Lowered himself to settle against Tyler's chest, tucking into his shoulder.

They both let out a long breath as they fell into place together. It was as if whatever anxious walls they'd put up crumbled and vanished as their bodies moved on their own, suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to be closer. Aiden's leg looped under Tyler's. Tyler's arms settled around Aiden, Aiden's latched together under Tyler's back.

Aiden's head tilted back, his gaze meeting Tyler's. They were close, too close. Unfortunately.

Or maybe it wasn't a bad thing. Aiden was searching his face, a calm smile adorning his face. Tyler stared right back, unable to stop himself from glancing at that pretty smile, wondering what it'd feel like pressed against his own lips.

Aiden noticed; he smiled a little brighter. It suited him, that natural smile. That smile for Tyler. How could he deny any longer his own feelings when Aiden was smiling like that? Smiling like that just for him? How could he deny his own feelings when it was so clear suddenly that Aiden felt the same?

"Aiden?" He said softly, eyes unable to focus on just Aiden's eyes or just Aiden's lips, bouncing between the two. He just hummed in response, staring back with a level of focus that was surprising for him.

"I- I want to kiss you," Tyler blurted out.

Aiden giggled, his eyes nearly closing as laughter took over his body. Tyler's face burned, and he scowled even despite knowing that he was just being teased. "Aiden."

"Can I tell you a secret?" He responded, managing to cease his snickering. Tyler just stared, waiting.

Aiden leaned close, suddenly serious. Tyler couldn't keep up with the mad facade for much longer, given that he could feel Aiden's breath on his face. This was the closest they'd ever been, at least that Tyler could remember. He'd lean in and end his suffering if he weren't waiting on Aiden to go on with what he wanted to say.

"I lied about the hotel," Aiden whispered, "so you'd invite me over."

Then Aiden kissed him. And Tyler was too blissfully reduced to mush to even get mad at the realization that this entire situation only happened because Aiden was banking on Tyler suggesting he stay over instead of sleeping in his car.

Now Aiden was gripping Tyler's shirt like he'd disappear if he opened his eyes, Tyler was running his hand through Aiden's hair and pulling him ever closer, and neither of them wanted it to end. Finally, finally, Aiden was his.

Who cared what would happen tomorrow, or a week from now? Who cared what they'd do when Aiden had to leave again? Tyler was firmly rooted at home, and Aiden was endlessly roaming without a constant one. But that was tomorrow's problem.

Tonight Aiden was his. And he wasn't letting go.

[olderthannetfic]

please, send help. i (23y/o) think i am getting to a stage where I need to be a Cool Aunt TM for my niece (13y/o). She's been a bit too online since she had to move around a lot. She had a bit of antis mentality, but i'm trying to pull her away from it slowly. At the same time, she's been around the internet, reading 18+ yaois and shit. I did the same at her age, so I can’t say I don't understand her. But as an adult idk how to talk about this 18+ healthily with her? or do I even need to? should I leave her on her own devices? I didn't have an adult to talk about these things with growing up so idk how you're supposed to do this.

There is not way to say how my parents or sibling (her mom) would react if I drop this on them, could be +/- , but it's a bit of a lottery depending on the most recent online articles they read lately. lol. They're open to convos, but a bit religious.

I'm taking suggestions if anybody would like to give some.

P.S. I am also not a cool person, i'm pretty much a lame homebody so… i also don’t know how to be cool lol.

im so sorry idk who else to ask.

--

Ahaha. Well, don't try too hard to be ~cool~. Nothing could be more offensive to the sensibilities of a 13-year-old.

A well delivered "Oh, come on, no one really thinks that" and eye-roll in response to the more delusional anti stuff has a wonderful effect if you're offline and the person respects you. Humans in general and 13-year-olds in particular are hypersensitive about fitting in. A boring and serious lecture from an older person will set off every melodramatic "The old people don't understaaaand!" instinct, but a well-timed "LOL, WTF" causes internal panic that one has missed something. If she wants the serious and nuanced explanation, she can ask for it, but I wouldn't start there.

As for how you talk about raunchy art... it really depends on the person. If she realizes you like the same stuff, she may bring it up. I think recs are fine, and so is euphemistic "I liked the ship dynamic in this one". "I got off to this" is TMI on your part. (Well, it's TMI on her part too, but be prepared for TMI if you become the confidant of a 13-year-old.)

Honestly, as long as she's directing the conversation and you aren't sharing details of your masturbation habits, I think you'll be fine. 13-year-olds aren't babies. If they're old enough to read porny doujinshi, they're old enough to talk to a trusted adult about them.

My teen tastes were weird art films full of sex. 13 is pretty young, but within a couple of years, she'll be the age I was when I was trying to see shit like Crash. She could be anywhere from self-assured in her tastes and interested in discussing her favorite media to easily-influenced to paralyzed by guilt. Creepy grooming shit comes from groomers choosing to groom, not from the topic of sexuality being in the air. If she's reading something with even a shred of plot or romance, you can talk about that without the actual conversation being X-rated. My main concern would be to avoid her trying to impress you by consuming media she finds uncomfortable or talking about things she doesn't actually want to share. You can really only judge that by body language and tone of voice in the moment.

I mean... does "18+ yaois" mean actual BL series here that have a few sex scenes or doujinshi that are entirely porn? ('Yaoi' basically means 'PWP' and is not exactly complimentary, after all.) It's somewhat harder to talk about the latter. But I liked some pretty out-there shit as a teen and did talk to adults about it. They just let me do most of the talking.

Probably the easiest way to broach the topic is to catch her reading something and go "Oh, I read that one" or "I liked [name of BL]".

[ryemiffie]

Okay In my last rant about Vox I think I got a bit too heated, so I'm gonna take a break from talking about the ever annoying Vox and instead move on to Velvette for a minute. So I saw a video of someone asking, "If Vox is a tv, and Val is a moth, what does that make Velvette??" And first of all no hate to that person I'm sure they just didn't pay much attention or something, but Velvette isn't Vox's and Val's kid, and even if she was she'd have to be adopted since sinners aren't capable of having children after death and it's not like they could of had her when they were alive obviously, so where did this idea come from? That Velvette is somehow their biological child??

Velvette is clearly not their kid, the groups dynamic doesn't even imply this so I don't know where the idea came from, but if you spend more than five minutes thinking about it it's obviously incorrect. Now onto what Velvette actually is, her old design was clearly based off some sort of doll, I think it was one of those clown dolls people like collecting (if I can find a photo I'll put it in here somewhere) but that's just what I looked at her and saw so I could be wrong about the clown thing. But I really liked her original design, it really sold the fact she was the youngest of the vees and had died very young, she looked like a doll that a little girl would have fun dressing up and playing with. But with her new design it's not apparent she's a doll, nor does she look all that young in comparison to the other Vees, and the casting choice for her didn't help either.

Her old design and place in the group dynamic made sense for the vees, Vox and Val are much older sinners from the 50s and 70s (at least according to what I could find) but Velvette was supposed to be a much younger soul who would've died around the early 2000s or the late 1990s, or at least that's what seemed to be widely accepted. I think having Velvette be very young in comparison to Vox and Val was a good choice, especially since Vox and Val wouldn't have the same grasp on social media hence the need for Velvette, a young soul who matches their ideals and who would be capable of helping them with that side of the empire they were growing. They all clearly have a use for each other and while that use isn't technically lost with Velvette's redesign, I do think it lost of some of the charm and execution possibilities by seemingly aging her up and presenting her in such a heavy contrast to her original counterpart.

Even with the redesign of the character and how they chose to present her I still think they could have managed to portray her as very young, but her voice kind of ruins that because she doesn't sound young at all, she sounds to be in her 30s or at least maybe late 20s, but her voice really does just paint her to be the same age as the other vees. Without prior context I would have just assumed when told Velvette is the youngest that it was just by a year or two, which I think really does just take away from the art of her character in the group dynamic. While I do love Velvette's current design, knowing what she was originally and what she was supposed to be, I'm just kinda disappointed.

Velvette's young age was supposed to place reason as to her knowledge going into hell, already having an understanding of the intricacies of how the modern media is run, such things as social media culture, everything that comes with trends from how to follow, make, and predict them, how to foresee the types of content that will appeal to the wider modern audience, and everything that comes with the advancements we have made in how we consume media. She already knew these things from her time alive and could introduce them to the rest of the vees, an example of this being when the character instagrams were a thing. In the beginning of the character instagrams, when the other Vees would post it was because Velvette told them they had to, because Velvette already knew how important keeping up their presence on social media was. When I first got into Hazbin hotel I was most excited for Velvette's character so maybe I just placed my expectations too high, but really I feel that there was a lot of failed potential with not just her but a lot of characters, and the show overall.

[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 20

warnings: SMUT! 18+!, dirty talk, p in v sex, oral sex, fingering, praise.

Part 20:

There was silence. Liana wasn't sure how long they stared at each other in silence, but it was too long, and she so desperately wanted to stop looking at him and die a slow death filled with agony, suffering, and embarrassment because that was obviously what awaited her in the coming hours.

She was supposed to share a bed with him after she asked him if he wanted to fuck her, and he basically said no. Well, he didn't say anything, which might have been even worse.

"Forget about it. It was just hypothetical about random people," she swallowed, and Art nodded. "As a concept. Like in that movie with Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher," she continued rambling. "Justin Timberlake," Art said in a voice she couldn't quite understand. "What about him?" she asked, desperately trying to change the subject. "Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake. Ashton Kutcher is another movie," he explained. Neither of them moved their gaze. Liana was afraid to blink. She felt like she was in some stupid game, and the first one to break eye contact would lose and end their life in seppuku out of sheer embarrassment. "Oh," she had nothing else to say.

"Ask again," Art suddenly said after a few more seconds (maybe minutes, maybe hours, maybe days, how long had they been standing in this room?). "What?" she swallowed again. "Liana." His voice was authoritative. They both knew she couldn't escape this. "It was nothing," she tried. She really tried. Why did he have to humiliate her and couldn't just let it pass? Why couldn't they wait a year or two and just laugh about it together? Why was the joke always at her expense? "Liana." The same tone again. He wasn't going to let it go, and he was taking his time to torment her slowly. Why was it so hot in this room?

"Do you think people can fuck without commitment?" she asked after a few more seconds of silence. "That's not what you asked." He leaned on the dresser behind him, losing patience with the girl in front of him. "Put on your big girl pants that you had on five minutes ago and ask again," he said. "If you heard me, why do I need to repeat myself?" she crossed her arms under her chest.

"Okay, if you can't finish the pitch properly, then the answer is no," he rolled his eyes and sighed. Art was getting annoyed with the situation. It didn't make sense that she was doing this. After five years, she gave him a taste of something and then took it all back in a second. She wouldn't let him savor it.

"Why are you angry with me now?" she sounded confused. "Because you're talking in circles instead of saying what you want when you know for sure that the moment you say it, you'll get it. Who's afraid to ask for things when they know they'll get exactly what they ask for?" he looked at her, raising an eyebrow. There was a hint of frustration in his voice, but he managed to keep his cool. He managed to be the more authoritative person in the room without losing empathy.

All Liana could think about was how attracted she was to Art when he spoke exactly like that. When there was a hint of disdain in his voice. A mutual understanding of the power dynamics. Until now, she had decided the dynamics between them, and the moment she gave him an opening, Art grabbed it with both hands, and only he knew how much he intended not to let it go.

"Let's just go to sleep," he rolled his eyes again and moved towards the bed, passing through her as if she wasn't standing there at all. "Art. Wait, come on." She grabbed his hand, and he stopped. They both breathed heavily. He gently ran his fingers over her hand, feeling her pulse and realizing how fast her heart was beating.

Let me in Let me in Come on

That was all he could think about. He needed it to come from her. He needed her to ask, to tell him she wanted it. Otherwise, he'd ruin everything. The entire past year would go down the drain. He couldn't allow their relationship to regress because he misunderstood the dynamics. He couldn't let her ruin what they could be together for a fleeting whim.

"Do you want to try it? The friends with benefits thing?" If it was possible, her heart beat even faster.

Art pressed his head to hers, their foreheads touching. This was the closest he'd been to Liana in the last five years, and his level of self-control was inspiring if anyone knew what it took from him right now. "How will we do it?" he asked. His voice was hoarse and raspy, but outwardly he still showed complete control. As if at any moment, he would detach from her and go to sleep. As if she needed to convince him. To sell him that fucking her was a good idea. He felt almost cruel. Almost sadistic, making her do it. But he needed to hear her talk about how much she needed him. How he was the solution for her right now. How he could give her something no one else could.

"The benefits part is pretty self-explanatory," she mumbled, closing her eyes. "The friends part we're also okay with," Liana added. "We can fuck whoever we want without questions or vetoes, and if someone says the arrangement no longer suits them, we forget everything and go back to drinking wine and playing Scrabble on Thursdays," she took a step back, and Art sighed. A bit angry at himself for showing how much the break in contact bothered him.

"You can't sleep with Patrick, though," he stated. Not asked. Making her raise an eyebrow. "Okay, so you can't sleep with Tashi," she quickly added her own condition. "Tashi and I never slept together, and we don't plan to sleep together anytime soon, but fine," his voice was amused as if he wanted to ruffle her hair because she was so sweet in his eyes. Liana considered kicking him in the balls for being such an arrogant bastard.

"I'll cancel everything, watch out," she said the only thing that came to her mind. "Uh-huh," another amused remark. As if he didn't care at all about what she was saying. "Donaldson!" she crossed her arms under her chest. "I still want wine and Scrabble on Thursdays. If that gets canceled, then the sex thing is also off," he continued while she looked at him as if he were crazy.

"Art," she swallowed and looked at him with a slightly different expression. He recognized she was more serious now. "It can't be like five years ago. You can't use this against me, okay?" she said, and Art wanted to die when he saw how much it stressed her out to tell him that.

"I'm three times more desperate for this arrangement than you are. The only one who can use any of this against anyone is you, Liana," he said sincerely, and she nodded. "So let's do it," she extended her hand for a handshake and smiled sweetly. "Are you for real?" he asked with a smirk on his face. It didn't make sense that she was so cute about such a sleazy deal. It just didn't make sense. "Shake my hand already, Arthur," she said, and he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. Their breaths mingled as both their eyes closed, and Art's lips brushed against Liana's. At first, there was a tenderness and almost shyness. As if it was the first time either of them had any human contact with any other person. After a few seconds, the kiss became hungry, and there was no battle for dominance because it was clear to both of them that Art was taking control from here. The moment his tongue asked for entry, Liana would part her lips and allow him to enter and explore her mouth from the inside.

And within seconds, one of his hands was on Liana's waist, and the other roamed over every part of her body. If Art could, he would touch all of her at once. For a moment, he didn't know what to focus on. Just the thought that after five years, Liana was his again, and he was allowed to touch her, could bring him to the edge.

Neither of them knew how, but her shirt found itself on the floor, and Art's lips began to trail small kisses on her neck as he guided them both to the bed, where he threw Liana. Taking a few seconds to look at the woman in front of him, half-naked and smiling shyly.

His. His to do with as he pleased. His to decide what he wanted. His. His. His. Liana was his. And with those thoughts, his lips were on hers again, and one of his hands was on her right breast, playing with her nipple. He pinched, squeezed, and held it fiercely, somewhat punishing for all the years he couldn't do exactly that. She moaned into his mouth, and as strange as the sound was, it felt as if he'd heard her moan just two days ago.

"Fuck, Art," she mumbled in a half-moan as his mouth was on her neck again, "You can't leave a mark," it was barely audible, just breaths, but Art understood her and in response, his teeth found a spot under her ear. Just to show her that if he wanted, he could, and she wouldn't say anything because here she was, not saying anything, just breathing and trying to touch him back. But he didn't leave a mark on her neck. No matter how much he wanted to claim his territory. He decided he'd leave marks elsewhere.

His lips descended slowly, cruelly, little kisses on her collarbone. He lingered on one, adding a nibble. "I'm going to leave so many marks on you, Lia. You'll be covered in them," he said, returning to the same spot. All Liana could manage in response was a mumbled, sultry plea.

"Please," she moaned again. Neither of them knew what she was asking for, but Art had already moved to the other side of her collarbone, taking his time on another spot.

Then his lips halted above her breasts, all the while playing with her nipples. He made sure not to neglect either, giving equal attention to both the left and the right.

"You seem like something's bothering you, Liana. What is it?" he teased, knowing she couldn't answer him now; she was in a world of her own.

"You're wearing too much," she mumbled, opening eyes filled with tears of pleasure that blurred her vision. She wanted more of him. She wanted to consume him entirely, above her, beside her, within her. She wanted Art Donaldson in every way he would allow her to have him. "Need more," she mumbled, and his lips covered her left nipple, making her moan as he growled into her chest.

Art rose above her despite the physical pain of pulling away. Liana's eyes were on him as he took off the pants he'd been wearing just minutes ago. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to say something.

"More," she said, biting her lower lip and playing with her own nipple. What a sight. If Art died now, he'd die happy.

He removed his boxers, presenting her with his erect cock while Liana surveyed every inch of his body.

"Do you want me to do a little spin or something?" he joked, trying to regain some control. "Are you waiting for an invitation to take your pants off, or are you just going to lie there and order me around?" he asked, restoring the balance to their relationship.

Liana nodded and lifted herself enough to remove the pants she was wearing, staying in a tiny black thong.

"Leave that on," Art said as she was about to remove it too. He couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing but wasn't entirely surprised. "Such a good girl with underwear like these, what am I supposed to do with that, Lia?" The playful tone returned as he started to plant wet kisses on her stomach, making her moan at the compliment.

Her panties came off with his teeth, after he didn't spare her any comments on how wet she was.

"Look, Liana." He brought them close to her face, and when she moaned, she brought her mouth close to them, opening it, but Art gently tossed them onto her nose. "Are you happy?" he asked, and she nodded. "Of course you're happy. You're so wet you'd come from just one finger inside you." Another moan and growl. Again, her chest arched that Art had to steady beneath him. So needy. So beautiful.

His mouth was on her clit in a sharp movement, along with two fingers inside her. He wasn't wrong; her first orgasm came within seconds. She had been so horny in recent months. So in need of touch, and Art provided it superbly. Art was here to fulfill and respond to everything she needed from him.

"I need to ride you. Please," she mumbled, opening her eyes, returning to reality from her orgasm within seconds.

"Who am I to deny you what you need," he replied and moved off her, sitting on the bed beside her, leaning against the wall.

Liana climbed onto him at that moment. As if she hadn't yet recovered from the high, she began to rub against his thighs while his large hand grasped her ass.

"Fuck," he said, turning his gaze away from her for a moment, but she made him look back at her with her hand. Her other hand found his mouth, inserting two fingers he took deeper, showing her he would take whatever she gave him. Another moan, at this point, it was hard to tell who was making more noise. Who was more desperate.

"Stop being a tease," Art lost his patience. "Or I'm fucking you the way I want." He stated, and as he said it, in that voice she loved, she inserted his dick inside her. Not even slowly. Not allowing herself a moment to adjust to the feeling of fullness. She felt filled with Art Donaldson, and it was the best feeling in the world.

"Move, Lia," Art smacked her ass, bringing her back to reality, and she began to move, initially forward and backward slowly, making him release sounds she didn't remember from him. "Just like that, good girl. Faster, Liana," he released more incoherent commands. She shoved her breast into his mouth to give him something to occupy himself with. He moaned into it, not taking his eyes off her as she picked up the pace, moving up and down.

"I'm close," she managed to say. The fingers that had been in his mouth and then visited hers were now playing with her own clit as she rode him. Both were covered in sweat from the effort.

"Me too baby," he said into her, sounding muffled from her chest, making her moan because he had again decided to bite her sensitive nipple.

"It's okay, I have an IUD," she said, and his growl was deep and throaty as she felt the heat of his release deep inside her while she contracted around him from her own orgasm, thanking God for the decision to get an IUD after the abortion.

"You're perfect," he mumbled as she slowly moved off him. Her body was limp, and she couldn't talk and breathe simultaneously.

"We need to shower," she mumbled and giggled in response. "In the morning," he replied.

Both had their eyes closed, knowing there was no chance they would move from current position.

Art's alarm clock was set for 5:45 AM, waking him swiftly. He hit the button, hoping for a moment before Liana woke up too. His hand rested on her chest, his head nestled into her neck, their legs entwined. Art couldn't stop smiling, feeling like a fool. He wanted to lie to himself and say he always woke up like this when a woman slept over, but the truth was, Liana was the only one he woke up with this way. No matter how much sex he'd had in his life, the sleep and his need for touch afterward were only with Liana.

Amid these thoughts, he realized his cock was hard, demanding to be inside her again, as if she might disappear from his life once more. Slowly, while she was still asleep, his mouth started placing gentle kisses on her neck, where it had rested before. His hand played with the breast it was already on.

Liana woke with a moan. "Morning," she mumbled. "Mmhmm," he replied from within her neck. "What time is it?" she managed to ask without turning to face him, giving him more room to scatter his kisses. "Early," he replied. "Need you like this," he explained what was happening. "Yours," she simply said, and he growled in response. How could she say something like that so effortlessly? "Mine," he said softly. Both of their eyes were still hazy from sleep, and her hand started moving up and down his dick. Another growl. "Fuck, Liana, just like that," he said. They were both too lazy to move, but his hand was already between her legs too. Their moans mingled, and he turned her face to him, giving her a deep kiss as he did. "God, Art," she mumbled into him, and he bit her lip, holding it between his teeth and releasing only when he couldn't stifle a moan.

He moved her small hand from his dick and slowly slid it where she needed him most, hearing the most beautiful sigh he'd ever heard. Everything about it was needy, gentle, slow, and sloppy, and neither of them cared. Liana was drunk on his cock. She could do anything he asked of her right now, in this exact state; wet, lazy, and under the influence of his dick and large hands holding her tightly.

"You feel so good, Lia. So tight and wet, fuck. You take me as if you were made for me," he said into her ear, and all she could do in response was breathe deeply and tighten around his cock. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you," she mumbled, and Art was sure he was hallucinating. He growled so loudly, in such a low tone, he thought he might pass out for a moment.

"Are you thanking me for fucking you?" he asked in that voice she loved, and she wanted to see his face, but she couldn't because she was facing away from him. "Feels so good, Art," she said, and he felt her come around him, making him come too and stay inside her for a moment longer, not wanting it to end.

"Hey," he said after he pulled out of her, and she turned to face him. He moved some hair from her sweaty face. "Hey," she smiled and kissed him, making him close his eyes for a moment. "I need to get warmed up before the match. You can sleep a bit more, but don't miss breakfast," he kissed her forehead as he stood up and headed towards the shower.

And while he was showering, he wondered if Liana knew this wasn't what friends with benefits looked like; This wasn't how you acted if you wanted to have sex and move on as if it never happened. This wasn't how you kissed. This wasn't how you hugged. This wasn't how you fucked.

That day, with Liana sitting in the stands, Art played the best tennis of his life. Two levels above his average, against an opponent all the bets said might defeat Art from the first set to the last. All the commentators trying to explain Art's moves didn't know he was invincible when Liana Levy slept in his bed and then sat in the stands watching him.

And while Art played, there were other eyes that didn't leave Liana, ones that were hard to miss in one of the rows in the stands- Patrick Zweig. He saw Art's performance and, with the necessary caution, understood what was happening around him. He understood that Liana hadn't lied when she spoke to him in the parking lot. She was Art's now, and all Patrick could do was become better. Become worthy again.

Well, hello there. How are we feeling??? I can't believe it's part 20 and you guys can still stand me. It's basically insane to me. I'd like to hear your thoughts about the chapter, so pls pls pls comment and DM me. 

taglist (if anyone wants to join, just ask): @soberbabes @nina357 @lamoursansfin @marley1773 @ruyaas-world @apolloscastellan @primlovesdilfs @fangirl-kimora @serenadingtigers @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @ganana @yoitsme-04 @swetearss

[balanceoflightanddark]

By the way, I just realized this as I rewatched ATLA and the live-action. Zuko was stated to be trained by Piandao how to wield the dual swords, which is one of the four major weapons in China. And in the live-action Azula was shown to be practicing archery, in some cultures, archery was one of the appropriate hobbies done by women because of how little they move and such. I suppose it adds on to how they were treated in the royal court, sorry if it's incoherent. Half-asleep and the screen is becoming a bit blurry

Sorry if I haven't responded right away.

I haven't seen the Live Action series since...well quite frankly, I haven't heard a lot of good things about them (particularly since I've heard mixed things about them supposedly deifying Zuko again). It's on the to-do list, but I wanted the heat to die down a little before giving it a shot.

sighs, having a nasty feeling I'm not going to like it

Anyways, I think it's a bit of both. Archery would be considered something up Azula's alley in terms of activities. It's considered feminine by a lot of Asian cultures, but still gets her involved in some art of combat and martial prowess. By the same token, it is considered to be one of the Six Arts as you said in Ancient China. So it could be possible that Ozai is grooming Azula that way to be his heir. Personally, I had a headcanon that archery was supposed to be a way in-universe for Azula to practice the precision and peace of mind needed to achieve lightning bending without it turning dangerous. I mean Zuko got hurt when he tried bending lightning, so we know it can be harmful when improperly handled, so it's not too much of an imagination.

With that said, I am leaning towards the former interpretation. For starters, the Fire Nation is a very militaristic and imperialistic country during the war. Indeed, the only music we see comes from Iroh and he's considered to be a bit of an outcast. The only bit of music we see being performed by the populace as a whole appears to be the anthem in "The Headband", which is basically just one big declaration of loyalty to the Fire Lord. As for the other Four Arts, we don't see them being performed, even during our time with Zuko in the Capital. Chances are if some version of them appeared in-universe, I doubt the Fire Nation would've given them much stock unless they could somehow rework that for military use.

And since Azula was conditioned so much into military life that she legitimately has trouble socializing with other people her age, I sincerely doubt she would've pursued those arts on her own unless they provided some kind of martial benefit.

We do know that the Fire Nation IS pretty gender stratified though. In this post made by the wonderful seyaryminamoto, we do know that men hold more positions of power. With the only women of nobility having little power to speak of like Ursa or Michi. Azula is the exception, but the point still stands that the Fire Nation does adhere to a lot of gender roles. In that regard, I think Zuko training with Piandao while Azula practices archery could be part of this gender stratification in action. Particularly since Ozai is apparently pitting Azula and Zuko against each other, to the point where he seems more pleased with Zuko's hunt for the Avatar than what Azula achieves.

Also, building off of that, if the Fire Nation practices the Six Arts, we should've seen Zuko practice archery by this logic. After all if Ozai pitted them against each other to determine the better heir, wouldn't it make sense for Zuko to pursue them as well as Azula?

Anyways, thank you for your asks. Sorry again for not answering right away.

[vaultlinkvt]

This is the first proper thing I've drawn in ages (and first are I think I've posted in over 5 years?) I just needed to draw the opening to Act 5 and my reaction to it.

Nothing has gripped me in such a way and forced me to finish an art piece like this in so fucking long. I see far too much of myself in him. I just want them to be ok after this is all over. STARS, this is just Asriel all over again isn't it. But WORSE!/pos

…I guess that could make this vent adjacent? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I also made a shitpost edit that I posted separately here.

There are so many things covered by each other and I just need to share and talk about them. Bonus details and rambles under the cut.

Siffrin's expression was like the first thing I drew and if it didn't turn out as good as it did I probably wouldn't have spent almost 10 days slowly adding to this and I just need to show it because his hands/arms end up covering most of their face.

Nothing much else to say about him, I'm just super happy with how everything about him turned out (I did have to go back and redraw some of his hair towards the end because the line thickness wasn't consistent with everything I drew after.

Next is ME yippeeeee. I have no idea why I spent so long adding details even tho I knew alot of it would get covered by Sif 'cause of how I was posing this.

I even designed a little button based on the Change Ornament + Star (the Change Belief and Lost Belief in The Universe really spoke to me in so many ways)

The gloves are an Archery Glove on the right hand and a Drawing/Writing Glove on the left.

The cloak is based on the style of cloak my mom made for my family for SCA events when I was young. It's just a simple hooded cloak but it has a slit in each side so you can stick your hands threw without needing to open up the cloak. I imagine it being stylized like, the opening doesn't exist until you stick your hands threw and then it can just freely glide around the face of the cloak to wherever it's needed, stopping at the elbow only letting threw the forearm, below the slit beginning to hang off the elbow with gravity while the part above begins to move with the upper arm.

I didn't even try to draw the outfit under the cloak because dealing with the folds of a thick wool cloak was enough for me (you can see how I gave up at the knees because I KNEW Sif was gonna cover them up). What I imagine the outfit being is this big baggy tunic and pants that are tied down at the forearms/calves to keep from getting in the way, it's also supposed to have a big baggy turtleneck thing that can be pulled up as a(nother) hood (iirc, this sorta thing was used so someone could wear a chainmail hood without it grabbing your hair(there ware also like stand alone cloth hoods that did the same thing too but eh, my memory is bad I might just be misremembering this)) but I couldn't figure out the folds and ended up just doing a simple button up thing (which then got covered by Sif's big head anyway.)

I spent soooo long trying to draw my eyes, trying to figure out the shape, and ended up just doing a bunch of small tests to the side before finding one that actually looked right. Drag it over the face and see that it fit EXACTLY, didn't even need to redraw it or anything.... unless you're talking about the other eye in which case I just duplicated it, flipped, and did some perspective warping until it looked ok because I could NOT draw that again especially at a different perspective (can I just say I have no idea how I drew that creepy eye but I love it, it was the first eye I drew and I just threw 4 lines down what the fuck how. Also the Mira-ish one looks cute too but didn't fit the expression.) I also needed to figure out what the hell was wrong with the expression I had before so you get 2 faces from me figuring that out (turns out I had the eyebrows facing the wrong way.)

I ALMOST FUCKING FORGOT MY FRECKLES TOO AAAAAAAAA (they're actually missing from the version I posted in the official ISaT server.) It was super weird trying to add them at the obscenely low resolution I was drawing at and they're probably gonna get compressed to hell and back but I think they're cute.

final thing.

Why is my hair so similar to Sif's but longer? Like, you can see I was sketching over my drawing of him to make sure I'd keep the proportions right when I started working on myself but in the process I realized that I was basically drawing over his hair but longer for mine (drawing I was using as ref here made by @leemak)

Add that to the uncomfortably long list of things I have in common with Siffrin I guess.

[chameleonspell]

HTDC commentary - 7: choice & 8: simple

[Looking back at HTDC after nearly ten years: comments on lore, character notes, influences, art, whatever. May contain spoilers for later chapters.]

chapter text: 7: choice & 8: simple

Time to get Iriel out of Vivec! Addhiranirr gets a cameo, because she's right there in the Underworks, and she can tell Iriel about Tsiya in Balmora, which is where I actually want him to end up. This caused me a different problem, later, when Iriel was supposed to locate her as part of the main quest, and I realised I was going to have to do something drastic to avoid having the exact same Underworks scene happen twice.

Addhiranirr would hate to cheat you.

Iriel's Sugar Period meant that I ended up writing a multitude of different Khajiit characters, in these early chapters. Based on ingame dialogue, Khajiiti speech patterns vary, with some using regular first person "I/me/my/etc" for themselves. Others use third person, but also with variation as to whether they referred to themselves with their names, or as "this one". It also varies whether they say "you", or use third person in place of second, as well.

For now, I was mostly trying to imitate the ingame dialogue of whichever character I was writing, but later I speculated more about what the different uses of grammar implied, in Khajiiti culture.

Addhiranirr is a quest NPC, so she has a fair amount of canon dialogue, where her personality really comes across - I can't take credit for her! She's very dry and funny, and I tried to write her in keeping with that.

He found the long-dead corpse of an elf, lying half-submerged in filth.

The quest to find Moroni Uvelas' husband actually has him as a live corprus stalker that the player has to kill, but I let Iriel off easy, for once...

“I did kill her, don’t you believe me? She… she attacked me, and I couldn’t get away, I… I… pushed fire into her… until she… she…”

..because I wanted killing the Sixth House Cultist to be the traumatic bit, instead. Because it gives Iriel a stronger reason to flee Vivec.

Please judge me for the thing I'm doing here of skipping over a fight scene, and moving right to a conversation about it, instead. This is incredibly lazy of me, but I wasn't trying to do hard things, yet. Later, I would read writing advice about how fight scenes worked, and make more effort in that direction, but not for a while, yet.

I'm with Iriel, here, by the way: the random canalworks house with the Sixth House cultists in it is fucking horrifying, and I would not want to stay anywhere near it. You think it's gonna be just another of the endless little slum-dwellings you're churning through for valuables, but the second you go in, it's just RED and WRONG and UGH and it only makes it worse that nobody else around seems to know or care! I hate it so much, it's so good.

(x)

He had two choices, as he saw them. He could stay in Vivec, take Dro'Zaymar’s advice and kick moon sugar.

Is Iriel right that he had a choice, here? Would he really have fixed his life up and quit drugs, if only he hadn't been startled by a cultist? No, of course not. Even if sheer lack of sugar access forced him clean for a while, it wouldn't have lasted, and might in itself have pushed him towards Balmora, soon enough. He'd still have gone via the Mages Guild, since guild teleportation is the easiest way. Maybe he'd tell himself he was joining the Mages Guild and transferring to the Balmora branch for career reasons, when really, he just knew he could get a supply there.

“This one knows. He just wishes for Iriel to take care of himself.” The Khajiiti man leaned forwards, and licked Ire’s cheek gently.

Later, Iriel says of Dro'Zaymar: "I wanted to thank him for being the first person I encountered in Morrowind who was simply, unselfishly, kind to me. He had no reason to be, and I did nothing but disappoint him, but he was."

Iriel isn't much used to people being kind to him without some ulterior motive, so it takes a while for him to recognise Dro'Zaymar's behaviour for what it was. Ire knows that leveraging pathetic expressions might sometimes work to gain a specific favour, but in his experience, it doesn't result in long-term benefits. Usually, what happens is people find his weakness distasteful, and use it against him. If they speak softly to him, then, like Socucius in the Census Office, it's only because they're trying to manipulate him into agreeing to something against his interests.

For the record, despite the Khajiiti equivalent of a kiss on the cheek, I don't think Dro'Zaymar's intentions towards Ire were ever anything but platonic, which was part of what Iriel found so confusing. Perhaps his awkward pass was an attempt to drag the Khajiit's otherwise unfathomable toleration of him into an intelligible framework.

Ire's not very good with kindness, either giving or receiving. It's so bound up with vulnerability, weakness, pity... shame, again. This obviously has terrible consequences for his relationships with other people, and his struggle to navigate these issues takes up a lot of the fic. If Dro'Zaymar is Ire's first experience of an interpersonal relationship since leaving jail, then the most salient thing about it is that he doesn't even understand what it was, until months afterwards. The idea that you might see someone in pain, and want to help them without simultaneously despising them for needing it? This does not, at the time, compute.

On to Chapter 8, and the Mages Guild.

A grey-haired Dunmeri woman sized Iriel up critically

Altmeri privilege at work! Because nothing else explains how Iriel still manages to come across as someone who might be good at magic, despite his current... everything else about him.

While any Morrowind player character can practice spells and quickly improve their magical skills, we have to assume for our narrative sanity that magical power is not something most people have access to without great natural skill, and/or years of dedicated training. Altmer, being innately sensitive to it, and more easily able to store magical power, have it easier than most.

“Hello, my dear,” she said brightly. “If you don’t mind my saying so, you strike me as someone with magical interests.

The Vvardenfell Mages Guild is kind of a scam, right? A protection racket - sign up and pay them guild dues, in return for... not being killed by the Mages Guild for unsanctioned magery? Hard to say how much of it is just Ranis Athrys being a homicidal maniac, though. @ansu-gurleht wrote a summary of their bullshit, and I find it all a bit suspicious. Certainly, Iriel shouldn't be flattered by their approach, though he's desperate enough for scholarly validation to fall for it a little. Even through the haze of multifaceted terror and panic he's currently struggling through.

Iriel remembers magical academia, with all its bluffing and power-plays, he's just in no state to succeed at it, and shouldn't be trying. A real Dwemeri scholar would eat him alive. Fortunately, Trebonius knows no more about anything than he does. But let me be clear - Iriel knows barely anything about the Dwemer, or much of anything beyond certain specific, mostly magical, topics. He's desperate for intellectual validation, so he's trying to drag his academic vocabulary out of storage to pretend he can hold a conversation, but at this point, it's a paper-thin act. It's not just the drugs, either. Technically, Iriel is a drop-out, who has never actually completed the first year of any university course. He doesn't even know anything about mushrooms, except they look cool and he likes them.

Six forms and declarations later

You can sign up, but you can never leave! You have to pay guild dues for the rest of your life, or suffer Ranis sending assassin apprentices after you! Getting expelled might actually be the only escape option.

Please don't let him want to do that awful hand shaking thing Imperials do

I cannot imagine it's normal in Altmeri society to just TOUCH people. With your ACTUAL SKIN.

try to look normal

Iriel looking normal.

“Enthusiasm! Wonderful. Well, let’s see. Hmm… Find out about the disappearance of the Dwarves. There’s a fine job for a young Associate, eh?”

ansu-gerlecht speculates that Trebonius may not actually be as stupid as he seems, which is a fun idea, but if so, it's a very good act. Giving his underlings hilariously impossible tasks would be fantastic way to troll them, though. It's not just the player - if you talk to other mages, they'll tell you he has them learning the language of the silt striders, attaching an army of dreugh to the Foreign Quarter, digging tunnels to the mainland or building a new Anumidium.

It's possible to complete Trebonius' task, and find out what happened to the Dwemer. Iriel doesn't care one way or the other, just yet. He only wants to get out of Vivec and find a skooma connection. He's not a scholar of the Dwemer, but that's soon going to change. Something about it will end up hooking him. Because it's a personal question, for him - how does a whole race just vanish?

Iriel knows how to make himself vanish, but it's a temporary state, and at the end of the day, it's an illusion. He's still there. How do you disappear completely?

next: 9: sanctuary & 10: outside previous: 5: slide & 6: trap