#art for my fic that I may or may not be publishing some point in the future

[seyaryminamoto]

COMMISSIONS ARE NOW OPEN!

Hello, everyone! My circumstances are getting a little bit more complicated and it's been fairly tricky to find a job over the past year (aaand it's only going to get worse...), so it's time for me to fully, officially, reopen commissions. Some prices have increased since the last time I did this, mainly in the hopes that this reflects my improving skills a little better. Some options are quite costly (particularly the animations and comics) because they demand a ton more work than one might expect. Terms are also more strict than they used to be in order to ensure a more professional dynamic between myself and anyone who commissions me.

Send me a DM if you have a commission in mind, but first, make sure to read through the Read More. I want to expand on what's stated in the final picture to ensure better clarity on the terms of my services:

I'm open to working with any fandom or OC, be it one I'm familiar with or not. I'm also open to working with crossovers, as well as making book/fic/album covers, and even drawing real people as characters of a fandom of the commissioner's choice.

I am open to drawing ship/romance content but, tied directly to the next point...

I reserve the right to refuse any commissions that make me uncomfortable in any given way. This does not mean that everything besides my OTPs and the headcanons I support is guaranteed to be rejected, but it does mean that, if the behavior of the commissioner or the specific subject of the commission does not sit well with me, for any given reason, I will decline the commission. I won't work on something that squicks me, nor with someone who displeases me. No artist should.

Animals, mythological creatures, gore and +18 requests are fundamentally valid but must be discussed thoroughly first. None of these areas are my forte as an artist, as much as I've dabbled in them here and there, so, in order to get it right, I may need extra time and I will most likely modify the base price for any requests that includes these elements.

Payments will be done through PayPal or Wise. The final, full-resolution piece will not be delivered until full payment is completed. Half payment is expected at the start of the process, the second half at the end. The client is entitled to two revisions of the art process to ensure expectations are met. If a piece does not match your expectations after the revisions, the commission will be considered cancelled and you won't need to pay the second half of the expense. Any commissioner who wishes to pay upfront from the get-go does so at their own risk. Revisions are always included, but there will be no refunds if the final piece is not up to the commissioner's standards.

The commissioner is allowed to publish and share the commissioned work across social media, provided it follows the rules of each site (as in, don't post any +18 artworks on sites that do not allow it, pretty much). I can offer basic Glaze and Nightshade in order to protect the artwork from AI theft, to no added expense. Credit MUST be given to me as the artist whenever commissioned pieces are posted elsewhere.

For anyone who wants a list of fandoms I'm better acquainted with:

Avatar: the Last Airbender

Legend of Korra

Bleach

Digimon

Code Geass

Inuyasha

Dragon Ball

The Mentalist

The Dragon Prince

Disney

My Hero Academia

Dragon Age

Hades (Supergiant)

Cowboy Bebop

Hollow Knight

Star Wars

Ghibli Films

Overwatch

Full Metal Panic

Artemis Fowl

LOTR

Farscape

Haikyuu

Fullmetal Alchemist

Naruto

Stranger Things

Spy X Family

Kaguya-sama

Chronicles of Ancient Darkness

Eragon

Thor

Harry Potter

Free!

ASOIAF

Shaman King

K-ON

Critical Role/Legend of Vox Machina

Dungeons and Dragons

Blue Eye Samurai

Arcane

Castlevania

Again, any fandom, character or OC is valid, but I'm far more likely to know what I'm doing and to have my own opinions, for better or for worse, when it comes to anything on this list.

If there are any further questions, feel free to DM me and we'll sort them out!

Thanks for reading so far, and I look forward to working with you!

[theresthesnitch]

It's about community, y'all.

I’ve found myself recently in a fandom interaction that has left me feeling very uncomfortable, and I want to talk about it. 

I will not be sharing usernames or fic names, so please do not publicly mention who they are if you figure out who this is. 

About a month ago, I was messaged by an account that doesn’t follow me, asking me to read their friend’s fic. The initial message was very flattering–their friend was a big fan of my work, and it would be so nice for them to get a comment from me on it. Honestly, it was such a sweet message, and I said I was busy right then, but I’d make time to read it.

When I opened the fic, it was a username that I didn’t recognize. Which is not terribly surprising, but I do recognize and notice regular commenters and people who regularly interact with me on Tumblr. (Which, by the way, is a good thing. These people all have a special place in my heart, and I love seeing their interactions.) This person also had no other fics published to AO3, and no bookmarks on their account. 

 I am an email hoarder, which means that every comment, kudo, and tumblr follow I get an email notification for is still stored in my email. I searched my inbox for the writer’s username, and nothing came up. I don’t mean nothing significant, I mean not one single comment, kudos, or follow from the account. I searched the account who messaged me, and got the same result. No one single comment, kudo, or follow. 

The thing that may not be immediately obvious from the outside is that many writers connect with each other as well. We share fic recs, snippets, and plot bunnies. We also talk about comments that we love, fans that we enjoy seeing in our notes, and significant interactions. 

Which is to say that the first thing I did was drop this fic with an explanation of what happened into the “fic recs” channel of our discord. Immediately, I find out that this is not a unique situation. Many of the writers in that discord were also approached, either by the actual writer or a friend, and asked to read it. 

I messaged the account again and asked if their friend was operating under a new username because I didn’t recognize them. Which is valid and I know people change their usernames sometimes. The friend responded that they did, but that the friend wouldn’t like them sharing it. I looked into the tumblr that messaged me then, and the account had been set up one singular day before they messaged me, with nothing more than a few art reblogs on their blog. 

At this point, I’m getting a really weird feeling from this, and I decide to just not respond anymore. I’m not going to call them out, but I’m also not going to engage. 

Yesterday, the “friend’s” account sent me another message, asking if I’d read it and telling me again that they can give their friend’s old account name if I really want it. They also mention that their friend read through and commented on a bunch of my older fics–which they did. Between May 24 and June 1, they left 17 comments on some of the very first fics I ever wrote and published. However, the way she tells me this feels very much like a quid pro quo - I commented, now where’s yours? 

I jumped back into the discords of some of my mutuals, and asked about this again. It turns out that all of us have gotten a weird vibe from them, and that this all feels like such a manipulative, creepy way to ask for exposure on your fic. 

And, because I’m me and needed more information, I went back to their fic and looked through the comments and bookmarks. 

There’s an ongoing discussion in many writer’s circles about interactions being lower, particularly comments, which you’ve probably seen crop up around Tumblr as well. While I don’t want to rehash this discussion here, the basic consensus is that most established writers are seeing fewer comments than ever, even when there’s a significant number of kudos. 

This fic has a not insignificant number of kudos, but a surprisingly large amount of comments and bookmarks, comparatively. Enough that just seeing the stats shocked me. I looked through the comments and saw lots of well known fandom writers, as well as some otherwise blank accounts. It strikes me as very odd–especially from a new, blank account and for a one shot without chapters to build up an audience. 

I jumped back in the discord and asked my mutuals about this again. Several people described really weird interactions with this individual. I heard stories about this person being really flattering when they initially reached out, vaguely complimenting the writer, then completely ghosting after the writer comments on their fics. 

I’ve debated for a bit about whether to post on this or not. The entire interaction has left such a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve no doubt that the writer and their friend are the same person, and I suspect some of their comments are fabricated as well. It’s elaborate, to a weird degree, and I feel so uncomfortable by it. 

The thing is, I love talking to people who have read my work. I love getting sent a fic rec. I read so little at this point just due to life and limited time that basically everything I read is something a mutual wrote or something recommended to me. I also really love the “it would mean so much to me if you read this” message, but only if it’s genuine. I have read first fics of new writers who sent me their own work, with their name attached, and asked me to. 

Fandom writing is a community, and that works best when we have a little give and take. But when you’re out there manipulating interactions, building up fake flattery to only not follow through, that breaks down our community. It’s unfortunate, manipulative, and honestly, a bit creepy. 

I don’t know if they just thought we (the writing community) wouldn’t notice, but we did. I’ve talked to other writers about this, and if any of my mutuals had a similar experience, I’d love to hear about it. 

To my “friend” who wrote this fic, I know you’re proud of your fic, but you’re not doing yourself any favors with this behavior. I will not be reading it. I also will not be responding to you or “your friend” any further. I wish you luck, and I hope you find what you’re looking for. 

[bloomingdarkgarden]

I went to reread a favorite fic of mine by another author whom I also highly respect, and found that they had deleted all their works and their tumblr. I adored their writing and am so sad that they are gone; I don’t even have a way to let them know how much I loved their work (aside from the comments I had left on their now deleted work 😭).

So I just wanted to take this time to let you know how much I love and adore your works as well- literally the first thing I did after I realized theirs were gone was to make sure yours were still up. Your writings are some of my favorites in the fandom (and I have reread WBITD alone about 5 times now, I love it so much), and I just wanted to make sure you knew how much your work means to some of us. 🌸🌿

Ohhh my lovely,

Thank you for sharing your words, and encouragement. Authors disappearing can be jarring. I want to speak to this and give my personal thoughts/ insight as a writer rather than a reader on this subject 🩷✍️

Writing is... incredibly vulnerable.

Writing for free even more so. Spending days/weeks/months crafting a story exposes a part of you that your readers can't truly know. Readers can spend 20 minutes reading something that took you 45 hours to draft. There's so much toil unseen.

AO3 is the wild west of the internet, comparatively speaking. An open platform where your work can be loved by strangers, but also stolen, plagiarized, bounded and sold illegally, critically torn apart- all of it without recourse. Sometimes all it takes is a shift in your confidence and suddenly you are not proud of what you've given away for free, or feel too vulnerable to let it exist there to be pilfered by anonymous strangers. Not to mention this fandom is brutally toxic- people rip apart art, opinion, and creative ideas with venom. Creators are not safe in this fandom. That's the raw truth.

Legitimately all of my favorite authors (from my previous fandom which was hugely popular) have removed their work from AO3. There are a myriad of reasons why, ranging from getting published to getting doxxed to getting plagiarized. I myself have not reached that point yet, but who knows. I've been on Tumblr in some form since 2014 and don't see that changing ✨ though I may be inactive for bouts.

It is a hard truth to swallow- but fanfiction is a gift that's on borrowed time. It is created at the expense of our weird, naked souls. It can be tucked back into the author's safekeeping as needed, often simply to protect our mental wellbeing.

Even if it's the weirdest, horniest, or silliest shit imaginable, the truth remains the same-

to write is to bleed.

[anamelessfool]

The First & The Last (AO3 Link) E 18+

1 Year Publication Anniversary

Terzo manifests his first ghoul, Omega, in his first ritual using the gift of the Infernal Eye.

It's officially one year to the day since I published my first major fic, a trippy angsty Terzo x Omega romance. I met many of you through this fic. If I told myself a year ago that thanks to my art I'd have the closest friends I've had in ages, I would have called myself crazy.

It was also the first time I really got into the mechanics of the world I'm creating and the possibilities of the Void and its creations. I had written something before this, but this was the first thing that felt really mine. It's not perfect and I may change some conversations at some point but it led the way for one of my most creative years in a decade.

240,000 words later.....

Thank you. Thank you thank you everyone. Saved my life in many ways.

Tags: Monster/human romance, Terzo x Omega, Dark Magic, Psychic Magic, Angst

[silenthillmutual]

do it! show us the ocs!!

okayyyyyy ^_^ this is gonna be kind of a long post so i'll clip it under the first image

i don't have much of my own art bc i'm still re/learning how to draw but this is a recent one i did of frost :] (genderfluid, gay, he/they)

frost is my bloodborne hunter buuuuut i have also thrown them into pathologic for shits & giggles. and sometimes i dick around with them in a modern setting where they remember bloodborne & pathologic as past lives. which is complicated by them having bipolar disorder (it is not an OR IS IT??? type situation it's literally both).

i'm trying to write a longfic for them for bloodborne but uh. i'm writing the boring bits and thinking. now why the hell am i writing all this. i have actually published fic of them in bloodborne (here) and patho (here). frost is the oc/canon guy, he has a friends -> lovers -> enemies -> ??? relationship w alfred. my problematic oc/canon ship. anyway in bloodborne 'verse frost is in yharnam to try and "fix" his bipolar disorder by any means necessary but as the night goes on his episode gets worse to a point where he's just kind of like fuuuuuuuuck it this is fine actually. i can be a little crazy as a treat.

and then in 'patho verse he's a utopian (cringe!) (makes sense thematically if you know bloodborne) and he's working with the kains, initially came over as a tutor for khan & maria but is actually kind of a living science experiment for the kains. i've gone through many different iterations of a "what are they doing with him?" but i think there's a lot of things they'd test, like "can a soul inhabit a focus without the body dying? let's find out!" and in return the kains are setting up to take care of his sister fox (@gemteeth)'s oc candra. he's friends with yulia but he cannot stand the stamatins and especially andrey. he's also a maria defender but not in a #girlboss way but in a "she is so young and has so many responsibilities please give her some empathy" kind of way. [i also borrowed alfred for this au because humble!alfred is so fucking hilarious to me.]

alos modern au frost looks like this (first pic ~14 second pic ~24)

so far this is my only bloodborne oc but there may be more...... eventually......

then i got the pathologic ocs starring....

[this is a picrew ^^^^^]

my baby girl chestnut......... (nonbinary, lesbian, she/they) chestnut is my ray of sunshine oc. nothing bad ever happens to her (nothing major anyway). she's my main fankid oc. chestnut is a nickname, her regular name is bayarma. the nickname is bc she's precious to her parents like chestnuts are to kids in the town.

she's semi-verbal. my buddy dj has drawn her for me quite a bit :] sometimes she's a twin or little sister to one of his ocs. sometimes she's a little half-sister to fox's ocs ksana and inisa her special interest is bugs & insects and her favorite kind are grasshoppers & crickets. she is very friendly and sociable. she doesn't have any enemies but she isn't fond of vlad jr (it's the facial hair). she also probably wouldn't like mark although other than 'looks too much like the cheshire cat when he smiles' i cant think of why.

she does occasionally get bullied but since her parents are artemy & daniil like. how much can you really bully the only doctor and surgeon in town. their uncle is rubin. do you want to piss them off? no. and anyway someone (i'll leave it up to the imagination who) taught them that if someone does something to you that you don't like, you defend yourself. so the one time a boy tries to kiss them they just slug him. love that for them!!!

i have two other burda fankids (buzzy & duunai)

the important thing to know about buzzy (he/him) is that he is a, the spitting image of daniil but fat, and b, INCREDIBLY anxious. he's agender aroace and his special interest is in technology, especially as it pertains to film and photography. (so the year update of 1924 is sooooo good you know when he heard about man with a movie camera he flipped his lid!!!!) (you should watch man w a movie camera it's v cool. to me. i like old films.)

also he's named buzzy because murky & sticky demanded they get to choose a baby name and they wanted a name that ended in y like theirs. so buzzy is indeed his legal name.

duunai (trans girl, she/her) is bix3 [bilingual bisexual bipolar]. she got both parents' sense of humor so you KNOW she is in trouble allll the time. she grows up to be a menkhu. she was the last one i came up with so i'm still developing her.

i have two thanatica ocs, svetlana & karol, but they're very underdeveloped. and then i have two ocs that aren't related to any fandom, isaiah & holly (who i don't have a pic of atm but here are picrews of the other 3)

svetlana (she/her) & isaiah (they/them) are both very autistic. karol (he/him) is dysthymic. svetlana is very energetic, so she & karol have a dog & cat kind of dynamic. both in the "happy vs stoic" kind of way and in the "we may be different but we will work to communicate bc we are family" kind of friendship. they r lesbian besties. karol kind of idolized daniil. he started out writing a paper about palliative care for a sociology course and daniil is the one who came to talk to him. isaiah i am trying to find a nickname for bc i feel like they'd pick one from sonic the hedgehog. i still gotta get into sonic myself it sounds like it rules, it just felt right they'd be a sonic fan. (initially i thought shadow for a character they'd be autistically obsessed with bc if i got into sonic at the right age that's absolutely who i would have been obsessed with but as i am still developing things.... wouldn't make sense to solidify that.) they're also a werewolf bc i'm thinking about werewolves as a metaphor for neurodiversity..... and nonbinary identity.... [thinkin abt that poem]

anyway ty for listening anon :]

[velourfant]

on fanfiction, fic authors, and the (misplaced) expectation that fanfiction should be an extension of the source material rather than…fanfiction

forgive the negativity, i promise this won’t be a norm :)

i’ve been writing fic as a hobby since i was in elementary, first for the TMI series, then 1D (lol), then haikyuu, genshin, you name it. for the most part, writing has afforded me unique opportunities to connect with fandom, even if many of my earlier fics never saw the light of day.

while i’ve received a lot of love from the communities i do publish fics for, i’ve seen an uptick in entitled fic readers publicly bashing fanfics because authors “mischaracterize” characters from the source material.

then, i watched a tiktok about a renowned bakudeku fic:

*i’m not a diehard bakudeku or my hero fan, nor do i consume any fan content for the series, so if i’m missing something regarding the bakudeku fic, you’ll have to forgive my ignorance. the point i wanted to make extends beyond mha anyway.

…and realized this problem was not endemic to the fandoms i’m active in, but a larger sign of souring fandom etiquette.

i don’t care how entitled you think you are to reading “good” fic. voluntarily consuming someone’s work and then complaining about it because it doesn’t meet your “standards” is a terrible way to interact with fandom spaces. you’re allowed to have opinions within your circles. everyone does. but the moment you publicize hate so you can interaction farm + round up other entitled fic readers (who often don’t produce their own fic), you’re inviting negativity into a space that you have no right to police. what gives you the authority to criticize someone else’s labor of love?

to begin with, the expectation that every fic writer’s interpretation of the chars must perfectly align w the source material imposes a skill/time barrier on fan work creation, draining all the fun out of the creative process. even if someone knows in their head how x and y are characterized, the disconnect between your brain and the words you put on a page takes time to mitigate. writing is a skill honed with practice. in other words, it’s difficult to convey what you want with words. by expecting fic authors to faithfully abide by source material characterization instead of allowing them creative freedom to INTERPRET ART (because believe it or not, these chars are just another piece of art that can be analyzed from different angles) as they see fit, you’re limiting the pool of creators to one of the following:

1) fic authors who understood the source material characters “correctly” on first read

2) fic authors who didn’t initially, “correctly” understand the characters, but could reread the source material and capture them through thorough study

i’ve missed some nuances, sure, but doesn’t that sound ridiculous? because i think it sounds ridiculous.

a suggestion, if i may: how about you just don’t read a fic you don’t like instead of lobbing unrealistic expectations at people who share their work out of love for the source material? how about you create your own fic since you’re soooo confident that deku wouldn’t wear this or that? legit why don’t you try contributing to the space instead of clout chasing and driving fic authors out? if you have so much criticism, then please, by all means, bless us with your vision. only through creating will you see how difficult it is to abide by your standards.

and if you’re a fic author who criticizes other fic authors’ works, shame on you. everyone in the space is interpreting art. congrats on being able to map out “canon-compliant” scenes or dialogue. stop holding other people who aren’t quite there yet/have no interest in doing so to the same expectations.

[fannish-karmiya]

An update, sort of?

It's been ages, years? since I've posted to my tumblr. It was a mixture of getting frustrated with fandom drama, and depression over my art and writing. It's easy to say I just haven't posted long enough to build up an audience, etc, but I've had a lot of failed starts on social media with my art over the past near-decade and the lack of traction has made me reach the point of an intense, deep depression. As ironic as it is, I almost resented that people like my fanfiction; why are people reading that, but no one is interested in the art and writing I'm actually passionate about?

I love MDZS, and I enjoyed writing fic for it, but I'm far more interested in writing original stories. If I think that Jin Guangyao's background is interesting (for all that he lets himself become a monster), or have my interest captured by some of the new dramas featuring eunuchs in more diverse roles than the traditional villainous roles, I'd rather sit down and write my own story about those themes, not just hop around between fandoms.

I always tried to reblog stuff from my artist-tumblr to this one, but it never really made any difference. Anything I posted about outside of fandom metas flopped. Some people seem to be able to endure this, but I just couldn't. It hurt deeply in a way that I can't explain; every time I tried to post anything to social media, or even logged on, I was filled with this gaping hole of dread.

I do still want to upload what I have written of my fanfics; anything which I've started posting is either complete or at least halfway. I may still pick those fics up and finish them, too. Who knows.

But overall I'm so much more interested in original writing and art. Writing fanfic for MDZS was a rare event for me, because I love that novel so much that I couldn't let it go after just finishing the novel/radiodrama/donghua.

I'm writing my own novels, and am trying to figure out what the hell to do with them (self-publishing seems most practical, but also dubious for someone who has no social media skills whatsoever). I also am experimenting with a website where I am able to make much more detailed posts about my interests, though it is still in early stages.

So far, this post is the one I'm most proud of, if anyone is interested. I am deeply fascinated by shoujo manga and its history, and wrote this post trying to chronicle how the iconic art style developed. It was a huge amount work to research, write, and lay out the visual examples for this post, and I'm incredibly proud of it.

I don't really know what to say or how to end this, so...there you are.

[onwhatcaptain]

Amok Time Fans and K/S Fic Readers - I Would Love Your Input!

Putting the poll up top, and additional context below. Earlier this year, I wrote and published my Amok Time K/S novel 'I Shall Do Neither' on AO3. It's been nominated for a Philon Award, and I'm incredibly proud of the endless work that went into making this!

Earlier this week, I realized that people who may have wanted to read the fic were not aware of its existence when some gorgeous Amok Time art was making the rounds, and a number of people expressed that they wished to read a story that explored these events just like my novel did. When my novel first debuted, I left the tags of my work intentionally vague to preserve the plot and surprise for the reader. So my question is, should I tag the work to make those spoiler plot points clearer? Spoilers below the cut for more context.

If you have read this work already, your thoughts on how your reading or perception of the work might have changed would be very valuable to me. Thank you! Below the cut are the major plot elements and spoilers for I Shall Do Neither I am considering adding in tags, including how the work ends.

This fic specifically covers how the events of Amok Time came to be. In this work, McCoy has no way to intervene during the fight. Spock has killed Jim, and is unable to live with his own actions. McCoy is left to go on without either of his friends, and the second and third seasons of Star Trek are explored to their devastating conclusions, without either Kirk or Spock. However-- this is also a time travel story, and at his lowest moment, McCoy is granted the privilege of changing history by the enigmatic Guardian of Forever. McCoy races against time to unravel the mystery of Vulcan's darkest secret on his own and make sense of the hidden feelings that existed between his two closest friends, all while facing his own mortality. We learn just how and why McCoy brought the neural paralyzer that saves his friends' lives, and the work has a happy ending that resolves every little inconsistency, every single plot hole in Amok Time. In essence, it's Amok Time meets Romeo and Juliet meets It's a Wonderful Life. I would likely add tags that referenced a number of these major spoilers.

[phoenixtakaramono]

Hi wow okay I just needed to pause my reading and come over here and tell you that your recent additions to the multiverse thread????? Insane. Love it. It’s amazing. I really had to pause at some points and just sit there like wow. Wow this is art. I am reading and enjoying art right now. Thank you for sharing your writing with us!!

This Ask is regarding this 🔞 butchlander multiverse threadfic on Twitter (the first of many perhaps?)

Thank you so much for reading, luv! I’m thrilled to hear you’re enjoying it. 💞✨

I am extremely fond of the Quick Transmigration genre as a whole in general, and it’s funny to me how complimentary it is to the superhero multiverse trope. It pops up and I’m flooded by so many brainworms at all the inconvenient times, haha, like while I’m at work or grocery shopping. So when I get hit by these The Name of the Game stray thoughts, especially about certain details and 🔞 butchlander scenarios of the arcs I have written down in my plot outline, I feel a lil dismayed because I am only one writer and we are only ch1 into the—so far—planned 135 chapters. 😂😭 So rather than waiting till it’s appropriate to write these lil extras and possibly forgetting or losing the creative drive I have now, while the fire still burns bright, I might as well take advantage of it while it’s going strong and feed y’all tiny diegetic bites here and there.

I like to think of these as fun sort-of-“canon”/ sort-of-“non-canon” What-If outtake scenarios that take place after or during the main story (135ch), kinda like the main story’s unofficial extras or unofficial side stories y’all can read as threadfics so it’s probably not an extra just dumped in randomly or willy-nilly in the main story itself on AO3 whilst this writer tries to shoot for the moon and catch up to our ambitious goalpost of 135chs.

So whilst this one is a weeeeee on the not-so-much-plot-but-smuttier side, because it’s Homelander’s birthday soon, I thought it’d be amusing to write a 🔞 spicy threadfic where TNotG’s Homelander ends up topped by almost all the Butchers I’ve ever written in my AUs thus far. Because why not? YOLO, and it’s convenient that this writer happens to have several long threadfics, Truce, and one AO3 fic that precisely allows for them to all crossover like some kinda butchlander superhero electric boogaloo multiverse on steroids.

So far I’ve only provided snapshot glimpses into the QT arcs that TNotG Billy had to endure, threaded into the threadfic itself, but I want you to know the entire time when I’m slipping in subtle story arc references to scenarios like this:

My mind is like:

Because these so far only exist in my plot outline, none of these are considered TNotG main story official unless I publish it on the AO3 platform. I’d just rather write these now than let them gather dust and potentially never see the light of day, haha. It’s only a snapshot but :) what fun surprises I have awaiting y’all. So far in these two threadfic updates we got sneak peeks into the The Boys TV S1-S5 canon-compliant final arc pre-return home, the Showbiz/ Entertainment 3rd arc, and the Medieval Fantasy 1st arc. There’s one more arc I have yet to input, which is the 2nd arc and it just so happens to be my second favorite genre after the QT genre: the Unlimited/ Infinite Flow genre survival game horror. I also may or may not reference the other two arcs remaining (with one of them being A/B/O), but these diegetic bites are supposed to compliment the spotlight that’s gonna be on each Butcher (Butchers 1-5 & TNotG Butcher). 😌 Because what’s better than 1 Butcher? A spicy 6 Butchers “bullying” (affectionate) Homelander sandwich.

[tryslora]

Imposter Syndrome & Performance Anxiety

A couple weekends ago I was in Buffalo at the NASFIC convention. While I’m not sure it was the most attended convention at which I’ve been on programming, it was the first one with a seriously national draw for program participants and attendees.

On the good side: I saw friends who’d moved away, or friends I’d never met in person, and that was amazing.

On the bad side: I had a lot of imposter syndrome creating performance anxiety going into the convention. I mean. We had panels with online attendees who were in other countries! As a small press and independent author, I felt… insignificant.

While driving out to the convention, I made a note that I wanted to do a post about imposter syndrome, but I had no idea what I wanted to talk about. If I had written the post then, it would have been a very different post than it is now. My brain is always in a different place pre-convention than it is post-convention.

You see, the anticipation is far worse than the reality.

The most important thing to remember—and this goes for any field—is that if you do work in that field, you are valid. Yes, I mean this to include photographers who only work with their phones, or people who research deeply and historically, but may not have published yet, or fans who write tons of fic and know every detail about a show. Do you have a place where you feel like you have strong knowledge, and would love to talk about it? You’re valid.

At this convention I shared panels with people who’d been writing since the 60s, and people who only started writing recently. I spoke with folks who only did fan writing. I met writers who’ve done both independent work and tradpub. I viewed art from artists who made their living by it, and artists who enjoy doing it as a hobby and side gig.

All still valid.

And the best part? Almost every single one experiences imposter syndrome at some point. We all have weaknesses that create little worms that wriggle under our skin, making us itch with anxiety, and tiny voices that whisper in our minds that we aren’t as good, or as interesting, or as… as… whatever adjective you might think of… as someone else. 

Even when we think we conquer a fault, it is still there, waiting beneath the surface. (Seriously, ask me, and I will tell you my biggest weakness is that I can neither world-build nor plot… despite knowing I’ve accomplished both.)

Anyway. 

The point is, we are all individuals. We all wonder if we are important enough to share what we love. We all wonder if we are good enough at what we do for someone else to be interested in it. Are we unique? Are we worth it? Will anyone care?

Yes. Yes, they will.

So, if you want to share, please know that somewhere out there is an audience for your creation (story, photograph, in-depth essay, or whatever it is…).

If you do not want to share, that’s okay, too. Create for yourself. It’s still valid.

And when you worry about what others might think, remember that the people around you are thinking that exact same thing. We all wonder: am I doing this right?

We are not alone in our fears.

I had a great time in Buffalo. Yes, there were hiccups on my panels (and oh dear gods was I ever terrified when the moderator of my first panel fell ill, and I ended up being a surprise mod for it). Yes, there were things that I wish could’ve gone differently. But overall, I’m pleased with how my own participation in my panels went.

Will I be anxious again at the next convention? Hah, yeah. Will I have imposter syndrome again? Always (in fact, I’m working on a T-shirt design). 

But I know it’ll work out, too.

And I know I’m not alone.

[yesistolethisurl]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Spread the self-love ❤️

*sweats nervously, counts on hand* uh

three out of five is still a passing grade, right??

Pursuit currently ranks at number one for me. I really had fun exploring Wyll's point of view, especially how his past with Mizora and his father informed a lot of how he approached the problems he encountered (plus that little nugget of hinting at why Ulder and his father may have been so distant). All in all, I feel like I hit a new level of quality in my writing with this one.

Beachside Introductions was my first foray into writing a canon character's point of view, and I think it still holds up! Writing it definitely gave me a new appreciation for Act 1 Shadowheart, and everything she's still reeling from. It gave me different angle to reinterpret the story from, and I'm glad that it's a choice I stuck with (it also just passed 50 hits, woo!).

Brocade, Shredded, my beloved. The first fic that I was brave enough to actually publish, written in "if-I-don't-write-something-for-this-story-I-have-inside-me-I-will-explode" frenzy. I'm so thankful people picked up this story and liked it, along with the silly detective I made up. 💜

(I guess 4 & 5 could be some of my art pieces? This one and this do have some clear story-telling going on, so I'm saying it counts!)

[senblades]

4, 18 for ask game

ooo good choices...

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

hmmm I have quite a lot of those HAHA

I guess I'll say the two that I'll probably be writing the second I finish fftsr:

first, that Slay the Princess shuake AU that I keep insisting I'll write lmao. i WILL but I still have several 100k of longfic to write first.... I'm thinking it'll be somwhere in the ballpark of 50k maybe? (plus I want to make plenty of art to accompany it) but knowing me that may well turn into 100k HA

the second is a "Strikers, but Akechi trips into the plot before Ren and the other PT get the chance" AU that's inspired by a fic with the same premise that i am pretty sure is abandoned- it only got three chapters in, so if I were to write it, it would completely be my own ideas aside from the initial premise (and boy do I have some ideas HAHA I am quite excited to get around to this (and I haven't read the og fic in a while so i barely remember the setup + plus i'd want to make it different anyway (sooo AU brain gets to go ham, is my point)))

18. if you keep them, share a deleted sentence or paragraph from a published fic

ah.... I'm pretty bad with editing, so usually if I delete a sentance, it's immediately after I write it because it sucks, and I don't keep them. (basically, you aren't missing much HAHA) sooo... I guess I'll just share something from a fic I haven't posted yet? (not fftsr, a one shot (guess the premise lmao))

Akechi insists they’re rivals, like he never grew out of his sentai phase, which makes it all the more annoying when Ren has to admit that he agrees with the term. He makes a point not to say it aloud- only laughing with a condescending lilt that always makes Akechi’s eyes narrow in a glare whenever the word is brought up.

aaaand that all I've got! ty very much for the ask <3 <3 <3

[snek-panini]

It's been a few weeks since I had new books to share, but I finally got photos taken of the newest ones so today's the day. Here, have a book:

This is Across Tides and Currents, a Good Omens siren AU by Sodium_Azide and @doorwaytoparadise (hi. I hope I tagged you right). My favorite thing about this AU is that, at its heart, it's about learning to communicate with someone who is so different from you that you can't even physically speak each other's language, and yet you've still got so much common ground that you find a way. It's way lighter and more fun than that description makes it sound, though, so go read it if that's your thing.

The cover on this is Lineco book cloth, scrapbook paper printed to look like leather, and blue foil htv. The foil was actually a nightmare to do. The first time I applied it, it wouldn't stick no matter what I did, and the bits that did stick peeled off as soon as I touched them. I had to peel them up very carefully, cut a new image, and try again. Thankfully it worked the second time but I don't know that I'll be using the foil type again unless there's no other way to get the color I want. The non-foil metallic was so much easier to work with.

More book photos under the cut!

I went with a coptic bind for this one for a few reasons. The first was that I wanted to try one on a quarto-size book to see if I could. I also wanted to try the mitered corners thing I did when I bound Strange Moons, and see if I could have the same effect on the interior. (That bit didn't work out so well; the front is fine but I mismeasured the inside and the lines didn't match up, so I trimmed some pieces of cardstock to cover that up. I really like the layered look though, so that's fine. It's quirky.) The third reason is that not long before I decided to bind this one, the authors published a new chapter after two years of no updates. That's the best possible reason to have to change plans, and the glueless bind means that if they ever do that again I can just redo the stitching to add more pages. Win-win.

Getting whimsical with title pages here. This took way longer than I thought it would, probably because I don't like graphic design and I did it in Word where I do the rest of my typesetting. Usually what I do is grab an image and put text around it or on top of it and then just play with fonts and sizes, but this time I drew the lines and then made the text follow them. This is the first time I've used the word art feature since...probably 2009? I'd forgotten how. I have no doubt there are better ways to do this but if I'd had to learn a new program at that point I'd have quit. And I do think it was worth it--it's cute and fun and looks about how I imagined it.

Couple of photos of the inside. Sorry the first one's blurry, I had someone trying to get my attention when I took these. The section break image came from rawpixel, I just made it gray instead of black so it's more subtle. The fic has very nice illustrations that I specifically got the artist's permission to print and then I failed to get any photos of them when I did my little photo shoot. They look very nice, though. I swear.

The last image is something I've started including in my latest books. I'm calling them "A Note from the Bookbinder" and it's basically just me talking about why I chose that story, the experience of reading it for the first time, stuff that's going on in the fandom, stuff about the process like the new chapter coming out as I was preparing to print. It's kind of...like marginalia? Part of fanbinding is preservation and that's linked to archival work, and something I know archivists love is marginalia and diaries. I don't like writing in my books and I've never found any fun in journaling, but sometimes that kind of context is important so I'm trying to add it. Someday, decades from now, I may not remember all the details, so I'm trying to preserve them. IDK, this got philosophical on me. Go read about mermaids now. Promise it's a good time.

[la-pou-belle]

normally I would just put this in the tags of a critical post to keep it concise, but sadly rbs have been turned off! I guess dogpiling sucks when it happens to YOU, right? anyways,

just wanted to say that, yeah, it's proper fandom etiquette to tag things. even if they are only mentioned and then later confirmed to not actually be happening in the fic. That said ,, and before we forget, it is not a REQUIREMENT. Just as it's not a requirement for fic writers to post and share their products at all. Just as it's not a requirement to read and consume then. When people provide completely free services (like, say, writing, editing, and publishing and entire novel), and it's entirely up to you on whether or not to consume those services, it's a little weird to make extra demands, no? And especially to inflate these demands to the point of character assassination; not only dogpiling on the author, but all of the authors fandom friends, leading them to delete all of their soc med and hard crafted works in the process.

so you didn't like someone's fanfiction. and it was POPULAR fanfiction! that sucks. But arguments about transphobia, racism, pedophilia, etc. have already been well disputed in the very post I can't reblog, and I think it's abundantly clear that the author should not be punished for following established canon (i.e. Claw's canonical torture of children and Toichiro Suzuki's openly proclaimed eugenicist goals in taking over the world for "superior" ESPers) to a logical conclusion and for adding a layer of realism to the work.

It's not their fault you, quite frankly, didn't think very hard about what you saw and understood in both S1 and S2 of mob psycho. it sucks that it makes you uncomfortable. But it's not a stranger's job on the internet to completely wash their works of anything that reflect messy and uncomfortable reality to coddle you, a voluntary consumer of their media. And a fan writer absolutely should not be punished for producing a canon-universe work, when you yourself are a fan of the canon. The fan author, very obviously, does not condone transphobia, racism, pedophilia, or any other accused thing, just by depicting it in their freely made and voluntarily consumed fanwork. Just as ONE, very obviously, does not condone the torture of children, or child abuse, just by depicting it in Claw's organization and in Shou and Toichiro's relationship.

All of what I've said is about Side Quest, but it's absolutely disgusting that for some reason, the backlash over that specific fic went over mere criticisms of the work to harassing the author. Not only this, but to use the final chapter of Side Quest, and all of the produced fan art within it, as a blacklist of Twitter handles and social medias to then ALSO harass the authors fandom friends is purely unacceptable behavior. If you want an author to tag their works better, simply ask them to do so; do not harass them and their friends. If you want your "fandom" and "ship" to stay alive, you MUST learn how to dislike things normally and respectfully; otherwise, how can you expect people to continue to produce novels for free? At a minimum, you need to recognize that your fellow fans are real, live people and do not deserve targeted harassment, and if you truly believe them to be dangerous, contact a moderation team and avoid their fanworks.

on a personal level, I'm offended that you think I, and many others who genuinely enjoyed Side Quest, lack media literacy. I've always been a fan of canon compliant and divergent fics that follow canon implications to their logical conclusions, especially when that involves recognizing the problematic and uncomfortable aspects of reality. You may have watched mob psycho uncritically, but I did not, nor did I read Side Quest uncritically. I'm frustrated that these projections have led to more of my little joys and favorite thought-provoking fic becoming inaccessible to me, but mostly... I'm sad that these authors shared their works while not fully understanding how uncritical, reactionary, and ungrateful their audience truly was.

[citrus-cactus]

Citrus' Art Summary 2023!

The year is almost over, so here's my art summary for 2023! I got this template from here. This is my third year in a row being able to populate every month with a finished(/digital) piece (and really, I did a LOT more than what's shown here!), so that feels like something to celebrate!

Technically some of these choices don’t match up with their post dates; I counted some months as “when I was primarily working on them” and some as “when I actually published them,” but the sentiment remains. Like I said, it was a busy year! :)

Some more rambling + links to all featured artwork beneath the cut:

I remember last year I was quite worried about/was actually teetering on the edge of artistic burnout. There were definitely some months during this year that I felt a bit overwhelmed (particularly during the summer, when I was working on a 5-illustration series in a style that was DEFINITELY outside my norm, PLUS a bunch of other stuff), but I also appreciated the stylistic variety, and doing a lot of sketchbook drawings/marginalia that were(/are) just for me, so they never had to be "finished” or even "good." Even though almost everything pictured here is Digimon(/anime) art, I did experiment with a more "realistic" style for the Dracula Daily series (Aug/Sept), as well as trying to relearn the "Disney" style I started drawing in waaaaaaay back in high school, only now with a LOT more understanding of facial structure and anatomy. Largely, this style shake-up has been incredibly freeing (these are still sketchbook-only studies at this point, but I'm planning on some digital illustrations in the Disney style in 2024). I'm sure they still look pretty anime-influenced, and I'm not sure I'll ever truly be able to escape that, but honestly I don't mind; the anime aesthetic IS a part of my preference/style!

Let's see, the prevailing fandoms for what's shown here are Digimon Survive and Adventure 02. I really want to draw more Survive art next year!! Really happy with the collabo between @vidramon and myself (July), and honestly most (if not all) of these pieces. I worked hard, I branched out, I took on some really ambitious projects, and finished a ton of things (looking at you, March! That Knight drawing was a WIP for an entire year, but I finished it instead of abandoning it, which is what usually happens when things sit around that long!). Ultimately, I believe I told (and helped tell!) some great stories through my creative projects and art this year, which is my true goal forever and always.

Honestly I'm happiest with April's drawing. That one was a ton of fun to do, but I would have to work really hard to replicate that coloring style because I don't remember my brushes/settings, ahaha. Sadly this is how it usually goes with coloring for me; I make it up as I go almost every single time, which is why series are so difficult for me. I am nothing if not inconsistent -_-;

I would be remiss to mention that a huge part of my productivity this year was due to setting and tracking monthly goals for myself. I gotta thank everyone on the @campdigimonth server for their help in keeping me organized and motivated throughout the year! I plan on continuing my creative check-in posts in 2024.

Next year, I want to a) make more Survive art (particularly with Survive Week coming up), b) draw some more flippin' gargoyles (CRIIIINGE, but no, cringe is dead, I'mma do what I want!), and c) keep working on my personal project! And I am, once again, thinking about bookbinding. That's a "maybe" for next year as well!

Descriptions and links to the full artwork pictured for each month:

January: Survive Week, Day 5

February: Survive Gang Aromantic Week

March: Knight Unryuuji and Friend

April: “Rose-Tinted” fic illustration

May: Happy Birthday Vi!

June: Happy Birthday Haru Shinkai!

July: Happy 1st Anniversary Survive! (aka BEST SOCK FRIENDS)

August: Dracula, September 13

September: Dracula, September 20

October: Adv 02 Countdown Event, Day 7

November: “Boo!” on the Cob

December: Digimon Secret Santa 2023

[imtrashraccoon]

Thank you @vii-naught for the tag! These seemed like interesting questions so why not?

Do you make your bed? Sometimes? I want to do it more often, especially now that I bought a body pillow. Not that kind!

Favorite number? 8. It's a fun shape and you don't need to lift the pen from the paper to make it.

What's your job? I currently work in customer service for a corporate hardware store.

If you could go back to school, would you? I really don't want to go into debt, however I probably will. I think I'll take something related to administration and if I can, some writing related courses since I'd love to publish my own books someday!

Can you parallel park? Yep, but I don't go downtown very often so I'm rusty.

Do you think aliens are real? Nope, but it would be fun if we weren't alone in the universe.

Can you drive a manual car? ...I can crash one.

What’s your guilty pleasure? Foodwise, any ice cream with peanut butter and chocolate in it. Otherwise, writing or looking at art of my favourite characters. You know the ones...

Tattoos? Nah, they're cool but I don't like needles. I'm not opposed to getting something small though.

Favourite colour? Purple. Then why are the words pink?? Because I didn't wanna copy!

Favorite types of music? I think it's called electronic pop? Whatever style Owl City does. I also like classical, a little rock, instrumentals, and video game music.

Do you like puzzles? Not particularly. I can do them but if I can't figure it out within a reasonable time, I get frustrated. Papyrus might have to convince me to participate unfortunately.

Any phobias? Not that I've been diagnosed with. I don't like biting insects or parasites. I also have some social anxiety but I can usually overcome it.

Favorite childhood sport? Soccer! Or football if you're European. I'd still play it if I was in shape and had time. I was also into swimming which may have inspired my love for mermaids and sirens.

Do you talk to yourself? Yep, fairly often too. Mostly in the car or when I'm alone at work when I want to vent. I also like to talk through potential plot points for my fics.

What movies do you adore? I'm more into the history of movies than actually watching them. I do love fantasy movies like How To Train Your Dragon and I remember loving the first My Hero Academia movie.

Coffee or tea? Tea.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? Silly. Definitely achieved that one... Joking aside, I think maybe a nutritionist or dietitian? Not so much anymore since I'd much rather be a children's writer.