#arr incorrect quotes

[fajitaposting]

Alphinaud: Are you busy? Thancred: Yes. Alphinaud: Cool, listen to this…

[withinthecode]

Incorrect Quotes

Ask for the context for any one that could have it and you will receive

Encra: Remember how I once thought that this place couldn’t possibly be any weirder than my hometown? Encra: Well, now I’m not sure how to feel about being proven wrong.

Trace: Holy shit, Obirah'a, do you know what this means?! Obirah'a: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.

Naas: Oh man, you have any shaving cream? Demea: No, I don't like the way that it tastes. Naas: Wait... you eat shaving cream? Demea: No. Why would I eat it if I don't like the taste.

Cors: I'm very scary. Lani: You're about as scary as a wet kitten. Cors: Wet kittens are cute, at least I've got that going for me. Lani: And small. Cors: Cors: ...Yeah, yeah. I guess.

Fari: Gears won’t wake up, what do I do? Sali'a: Did you try kicking them? Fari: Yes. Sali'a: I’m out of ideas.

Aniv'a: out cold on the ground Leo: Oh beacon, do you think ve's okay?! Mau, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! dumps all of the water on Aniv'a’s face

Asa: What’s sexting? Gandr: I'm not having this conversation with you.

Demea: How does one turn their emotions off? Sahra: Okay, so first go to settings. Sahra: I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first. Demea: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

Arsaa: What was that? Jax: My shirt fell. Arsaa: It sounded a lot heavier than that. Jaz: Dae was in it

Tara: sighs I have no friends... Molly: Molly: coughs Bitch, what am I? A roach?

Carwyn: in a jail cell What about my Miranda rights!? You’re supposed to say I have ‘the right to remain silent’”! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! Seren: in the cell next to them You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity

Ian: Hello all, it is I, your favorite person. Yor: Actually, Elena is my favourite. Ian: Okay then, it is I, that bitch.

Liv: I’m sorry for being annoying. Liv: It will happen again.

Triv'vi: Takes a sip of milk and gags Triv'vi: Oh my god, is this expired? Triv'vi: Takes another sip of milk

Ami'va: So the other day I sent Aniv'a out to get us some gas. Ami'va: And instead of getting gas, te got us novelty cookie cutters. Ami'va: Now everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur. Ami'va: … Ami'va: I love ter so much.

Anipr'a: What’s the announcement, Gears? Gears: It’s a lecture. Asa’s gonna tell us everything he know about sex. Aanx: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds.

Elena: Hey, quick question. How petty am I allowed to be?

[gridanian-red-mage]

The Darkness of Toto-Rak--Part 2/2

If she had a gil for every time she was surrounded by darkness to fight something summoned by an Ascian, she'd have two gil. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice. (For now.)

She's got this, though.👍👍

[incorrect-gorp-quotes]

Jeremy: google why is every1 so meena me

[universal-quoteland]

Time for some incorrect quotes ~

Angel Dust: He is not my boyfriend!!

Husk: Am not his boyfr- ARR!! , They just don't get it!

Angel Dust: No! Why would they ?!

Every other soul at the hotel: ...

Angel Dust:Hmph!, Lets go baby! *takes Husk hand and drags him away*

[connorsbonez]

Stalkers and Cryptids: Incorrect Quotes

Sleep deprived Danny, propping himself up on his elbows: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate, or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?

Bernard, not even bothering with sitting up: I’m an ‘I’m not paying 600 dollars for photoshop’ pirate.

•••

Wes: The moon looks beautiful, doesn’t

Danny, looking at Wes: Yeah.. but y’know what’s more beautiful?

Wes and Danny in unison: Tim.

•••

Bernard, who’s more upset that he wasn’t there: How could the three of you possibly get into this much trouble in one day?

Wes:

Tim:

Danny: Not to brag, but it didn't even take us the whole afternoon!

•••

Wes: I hate physical contact. I never let anyone touch me other than when strictly necessary.

Danny: You are literally holding mine and Tim’s hands??

Wes: That’s considered necessary. 🙄

•••

Wes: It says “beat three eggs”.

Tim, sleep deprived as hell: …Maybe it means like- punching them?

Danny: Oooooh.

Bernard:

Bernard, holding up a whisk: The three of you, get out of my kitchen.

•••

Wes, fuming: You're both on thin ice.

Danny, trying to hide his smile: I'm on the floor.

Wes: It's an expression, dumbass

Bernard, looking down: It's a carpet.

•••

Tim, still in bed: So, about this party we have to go to tonight... Can you suggest some conversation stoppers?

Wes, checking his things: You mean conversation starters, right?

Bernard, busy choosing his outfit: No, he doesn't.

•••

Bernard, after a dentist visit: I can’t feel my lips … maybe you can feel them for me? 😉

Danny, flustered: … hmm?!?!

Wes: *grabs Bernard and makes out with him*

•••

Danny: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close.

Tim, blushing: Okay

Wes: It's fucking summer???

•••

Danny, stroking Tim’s hair: You're so cute and hot.

Tim, sleepily: I could beat the shit out of you.

Wes, snuggling Tim: and I would help.

Danny, lovingly: I know.

•••

Wes: I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Bernard: Danny, please, you will die...

Danny: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it. It's okay!

•••

Wes: I need to apologise to Bernard for roasting him brutally all day.

Danny: What?! Why did you even do that?

Wes, sulking: I was just trying to flirt...

[kyasemi]

Murder Drones Incorrect Quotes

Uzi: How do I deal with my enemies?

V: Kill them

Uzi: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

V: Kill them only a little?

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

N, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N, pointing: May I sit there?

Uzi: That's my lap

N: That doesn't answer my question, Uzi.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: I learned some very valuable lessons from this.


N: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.


Uzi: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Hey, you want some leftovers?

V: What's that?

Uzi: You've never had leftovers???

V: No, because I'm not a quitter.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: N...

N: Oh no, 'N' in b-flat.

N: You're disappointed.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

N: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Uzi: Absolutely not.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Okay, help me please!

V: Got two words for you.

Uzi: I bet they won't be helpful.

V: Your problem.

Uzi: I was right

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

N: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Uzi: No! Four to five seconds!

N: Too late!!!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate, or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?

Uzi: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: I prevented a murder today.

N: Really? How’d you do that?

Uzi: self control.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

N: Uzi no.

V: Mistlefoe.

N: Please stop encouraging them.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Store Worker: Would a Mx. Uzi please come to the front desk?

Uzi, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to N and V

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

N and V, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Uzi: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

[beuatifulbuttercup]

og counselors incorrect quotes

Silena: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

Beckandorf: Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible? Pollux: I gotta give you credit, Connor. You make it look easy. Connor: Years of practice.

Percy: Stop failing. Travis: Don’t tell me what to do! I'll fail right now! Travis: Succeeds Travis: Dang it!

Silena: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Clarisse: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

Katie: What, I can’t be in a bad mood? It’s like people think, “Oh, Katie is such a nice person, Katie is so happy-go-lucky! Katie can’t be in a bad mood!” Well, you know what? Katie CAN be in a bad mood. And right now, Katie IS be in a bad mood.

Travis: Punch me in the face. Katie: …Punch you? Travis: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me? Katie: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.

Percy: Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.

Lee: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!? Annabeth: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Annabeth: Don't go to the kitchen. Silena: Why? Annabeth: I saw a spider. Silena: Well, did you kill it? Annabeth: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair…

Annabeth, ordering Starbucks: Hey, I just got my heart broken, what do you recommend? Castor, who’s running the drive thru: … Castor: Tequila.

The Squad: walking at the mall Castor: Hey, have any of you guys seen Katie? They’ve been gone for a while.. Clarisse: Eh, nope. Lee: No, I haven’t… Annabeth: Probably ran off to McDonald’s or something. Katie: Hey. Pollux: Ooh, there you are- Clarisse: What the fu- Annabeth: I- where were you?! Katie: Walking right behind you guys.

Clarisse: So what’s for dinner? Percy: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise! Clarisse: … Clarisse: Is it soup? Percy: I soup-pose it could be! winks Clarisse: Please, enough with the soup puns! Percy: Wow, you’re soup-per mean. Clarisse: STOP! one hour later Clarisse: It’s fucking tacos?!?!?!

Connor: When you've been on the internet for as long as I have, you develop thick skin. Annabeth: Navy blue isn't your color. Connor: Navy blue brings out my eyes you prick! Chases after Annabeth

Percy: I have a problem. Travis: If it's harder than 2+2, I can't help.

Katie: In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t “fit in” and I don’t WANT to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.

[soda-n-dinos-andmore]

✨I have brain rot✨

so here! Have more incorrect quotes!!! (This time with more blorbos included)

California : sighs I have no friends… Alaska: Alaska: coughs Bitch, what am I? A roach?!

Gov: Hey, Florida? Florida, playing a video game with the squad: What? Gov: Can I share something with you from earlier today? Florida: Wh- what is it, Gov? Gov: Well, I sent you a text early in the morning. Florida: Mhm. Gov: Because I have to go out of town for a weekend this month. And, so I was like- I won't give specific dates, but I was like, do you have any preference whether I go this weekend or the next weekend? Florida: Yeah? Gov: Your response. Florida: trying not to crack up Gov: At 9:30 in the morning. Gov: "motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg jesus Christ motherfucking Facebook movie jesus can you believe this shit" Florida: laughing Gov: No- no- no punctuation. Random capitalization. Florida: You just made me dieeee… Gov: So I respond, "I have no idea what we're talking about right now." Gov: 45 minutes pass. I get a text from you. Gov: "goddamn created Facebook and fucking lawyers and shit right fucking winklevoss twins goddamn rowing the boat fuck yo shit i cant even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse eisenberg man" Florida: wheezing with laughter Gov: I respond "Florida, you're scaring me." An hour passes- Gov: You respond, "motherfucking spiderman Spiderman you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with his bare hands fucking best friend shit jesse eisenberg" Gov: "im very tired" Florida: struggling to breathe Gov: And- and I'm just like, "No- no worries, Florida, I'll- I'll do most of the talking at the hangout today-" Gov: IMMEDIATE, like, response, like I'm talking 5 seconds later, Gov: "no man ill just talk all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook" Gov: And then, in all capital letters, two hours later, Florida: falling over with laughter Gov: "MARK ZUCKERBERG."

Washington: Please, California , after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. Washington: I’m sorry California . Washington: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. California : It has to be done. Washington: California : Washington: California : Places +4 Uno.

Massachusetts : Everything’s fine, Maine. New York: Massachusetts , I know your relationship with the english language is strictly casual, but you- I- deep inhale ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

Maine: H-how do you ask someone out? Louisiana : Well, first- Florida: Don't ask them, they asked me out in a McDonalds parking lot. Maine: …And you said yes?

Gov: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Nevada: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

[project-isles]

More incorrect aga quotes

freddy: What’s it like being tall?

chica: Is it nice?

goldie: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

bonnie: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

bonnie: sees someone doing something stupid

bonnie: What an idiot.

bonnie: realizes it's goldie

bonnie: Wait, that's MY idiot!

goldie: Guys, I have a question.

freddy: kys ❤️

goldie: I love you too.

chica: Ah, yes. Siblings.

bonnie: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on goldie without them noticing?

freddy: Hey, goldie, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

goldie: takes and swallows tracker Pay up, loser.

bonnie: …

bonnie: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

goldie: But they said not to touch the masterpieces.

bonnie: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall.

chica, on a walkie talkie: This is chica, those idiots are f***ing around in the East wing again.

goldie, sweating: bonnie, there’s something I need to ask you-

bonnie: Finally! You’re proposing!

goldie: How’d you know?

bonnie: goldie, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

bonnie: I even picked it up once.

freddy: What do you have?

goldie: A KNIFE!

freddy: NO!

foxy: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?

TB: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

freddy: Oh, they left the bowl out?

freddy: It says, “Take two pieces of candy.”

goldie: Nobody around though…

goldie grabs the entire bowl and runs off with it

freddy: NO—

goldie: Oh gosh I wish I got more sleep I only got six hours!

mangle: Six? I only got three!

mari: You guys got sleep?

freddy, comes stumbling out of their room and grabs a jug of coffee before saying: What year is it??

freddy: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

goldie: Which one? I can't do both.

goldie: Reading a letter

mari: Well, what does it say?

goldie: It’s a confession letter. It turns out Finn killed my pet rock.

foxy: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning!

Freddy: I'll hate myself in the morning regardless.

chica: When's the last time you slept?

freddy: Uh… a few days ago, I think.

chica: A few- how many?!

freddy: Uh… starts counting on fingers I need more fingers…

chica: What you need is sleep!

freddy: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.

freddy: What is wrong with you?

goldie: Many, many things…

goldie: And most of them are your f***ing fault.

mari: Heyyy freddy, how’s your… drink??

freddy: What do you mean drink? It’s coffee.

mari: You sure?? Looks to coffee maker

freddy: Looks to coffee maker

Cement sitting beside the coffee maker

freddy:…I’m on my third f***ing drink right now, I should be dead.

mari: Hey, goldie, where are you going?

goldie: Well, it depends. When I die, probably hell.

goldie: But right now I’m going to McDonald’s.

mangle: Comparing goldie and freddy is like comparing apples and oranges.

goldie: We’re both unique in our own ways?

mangle: Apples are superior in every way and all oranges should be eliminated.

freddy: Which one of us is the orange?

goldie: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.

finn:

goldie:

finn: …Please, go back to bed.

goldie: closes a cabinet

a crash is heard behind the cabinet door

mari: What was that?

goldie: The sound of someone else's problem.

goldie: You f****** don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

freddy: Spear.

goldie: BLOCKED.

mangle: Why are you two always out during rainstorms?

freddy: It’s so peaceful and refreshing. I love the smell of rain.

goldie: foxy bet me I couldn’t get struck by lighting, but they’re WRONG.

bonnie and freddy playing minecraft

bonnie: Oh no, oh no, oh no-

freddy: What’s wrong?

bonnie: I did a thing.

freddy: You regret the thing you dID-

bonnie: screams

freddy: What the f*** did you do- sees mass of aggravated Piglin Damn it-

bonnie: screams again

goldie: I prevented a murder today.

bonnie: Really? That’s amazing! How did you do that?

goldie: Self-control.

freddy: GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB F***!

goldie: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

[house-of-slayterr]

Criminal Minds Incorrect Quotes:

Hotch: Damn, the power went out.

Y/N: Don’t worry, I got this.

Y/N: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*

Hotch: What-?

Y/N: I swallowed a glow stick!

Hotch, on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

Derek , throwing their head into Y/N's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Y/N, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

Y/N: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers.

Derek : Y/N, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.

Garcia : You spent all our money on THIS??

Y/N, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

Garcia : Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Y/N: Killed without hesitation.

The Team: 👀 *blink blink*

JJ: Life is like Y/N. It's short.

Y/N: Where are you going?

JJ: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide on the way.

Y/N: Why does my arm shake and turn bright red when I’m eating dirt?

Emily :

Emily : Why are you eating dirt?

Y/N: Did I ask you if I should eat dirt? No, so answer my question.

An: Fucking Cannon

Emily : Don’t preach to me about romance, Y/N. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.

Rossi, looking at their reflection: Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be?

Y/N: Well, that's you.

Rossi: Me?! Is that what I look like?

Y/N: You don't know?

Rossi: Busy day.

Rossi: Well, Y/N and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Rossi: That's right... We kissed!

Spencer : *Answers phone.* Hello?

Y/N: It's Y/N.

Spencer : What did they do this time?

Y/N: No, it's me, Spencer . It's actually me.

Spencer : What did you do this time?

Spencer : Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate?

Y/N: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

Spencer : I find it very unseemly of Garcia to start dating again. Isn't the customary period of mourning 10 years?

Y/N: Die. Let's find out.

Garcia : Who knew getting in trouble would be so impossible?

Spencer : I gotta give you credit, Y/N. You make it look easy.

Y/N: Years of practice.

Hotch : Sorry, I'm late to the party. I've been doing things.

Y/N, entering in an unbuttoned shirt: I got caught up doing things too.

Rossi: Wow, Hotch was late too! What a coincidence!

Y/N: So what’s the plan?

Rossi: I don’t know. You’re smart, *points at Hotch * they’re mean, come up with something.

Y/N: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Spencer : Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?

Elle: Ya know... it might be.

Y/N: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Elle: We're chopsticks!

Y/N: Well... that's cute!

Y/N: Does that mean you two snuggle together perfectly?

Spencer : No, it means that if you take the other away, the only thing the other is good for is stabbing.

Emily : For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Y/N, Spencer , & Derek : Okay.

Emily : If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Y/N: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Spencer : Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Derek : Bold of you to assume I can die.

JJ, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?

Y/N: *Sends a picture of of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside*

Emily : *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside*

Garcia : *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple*

JJ: I hate all of you.

Spencer : Time for plan G.

Y/N: Don’t you mean plan B?

Spencer : No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Rossi: What about plan D?

Spencer : Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Hotch : What about plan E?

Spencer : I’m hoping not to use it. Derek dies in plan E.

Derek: I like plan E.

An: I didn’t include Gideon because fuck that guy!

[emeraldart]

I got bored so woe, incorrect quotes be upon ye (some Michael x Charlie, CC is named Cassidy)

long post ahead

Michael: I think it's time to start fucking some shit up. Charlie: Oh no. Michael: More like "oh yes!"

————

Michael: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk? Elizabeth: It's Charlie's turn. Charlie: Don't die. Elizabeth, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

————

Michael: Kill me nowwwww. Charlie: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.

————

Elizabeth: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. Charlie: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

————

Cassidy: You know, people treat me like a god. Michael: How? Cassidy: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

————

Charlie: Fight me! Michael: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Michael: Fight me for the rest of our lives.

————

Michael: Well, remember when Charlie made a romantic dinner for me? Cassidy: Michael, they microwaved you a pizza.

————

Cassidy: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me. Elizabeth: But did I make you cry? Cassidy: cries on the spot Elizabeth: …Shit.

————

Elizabeth: Hey, wanna help me commit arson? Michael: What the hell!? Elizabeth: Oh, sorry, my bad. Elizabeth, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson? Michael, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

————

Charlie: Michael, we need that! Michael, holding Elizabeth over a trash can: Nope. Charlie: Gimme it— Michael: It’s garbage.

————

Cassidy: we could make a boys club! Charlie: Im non-binary. Cassidy: Cassidy: Anti-girls club.

————

Elizabeth: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Michael? Michael: Cassidy, easily. Cassidy, laughing: What the fuck, man. Michael: Well, Charlie would be too easy. They’d probably be into it. Charlie, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?

————

Michael: banging a pen on the table out of frustration Charlie: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table? Michael: I— Michael: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

————

Michael: According to the footage here, you shook the vending machine and when the shake alarm went off, you punched the glass and broke it. Elizabeth: …I was hungry.

————

Elizabeth: Did you win? Or just not die? Elizabeth: Either way, hooray. Michael: …Is "no" a valid answer? Elizabeth: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.

————

Elizabeth: Cassidy! I thought you were dead! Cassidy: No, just in deep cover. Elizabeth: …But it was an open casket. Cassidy: It was very deep.

————

Elizabeth: Go ahead, Michael. Let it out, cry. If you don't, your tear ducts will get blocked up, and then when you get old, you won't be able to cry. Cassidy: Just when we thought it was safe to let you back into the conversation.

————

Charlie: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Michael: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

————

At a speed dating event Michael: Oh wow, people are really shallow. Charlie: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate? Michael: Checks their pulse Sorry, not yet. Charlie: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.

————

Cassidy: ARE YOU- Michael: Fucking. Cassidy: KIDDING ME?! YOU- Michael: Fucking. Cassidy: IDIOT! Elizabeth: …What was that? Michael: Charlie banned Cassidy from swearing, so I’m helping them out.

[augenblicklich-lila]

cod incorrect quotes #9

This one has a few more quotes since I haven't posted in a couple days. I've been enjoying this whole thing tremendously. Thank you for all the likes and reblogs! Love y'all ♡

the usual jazz, mainly Y/N/Reader stuff, platonic and romantic. Plus a sprinkle of Soapghost ♡♡♡

first speaking appearance for Graves! who'd have thunk? about time. In my defense, I had to do a lot of scrolling to get to him, okay?

- Lila

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛ ♛ （ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ━━✫・*。 ⊂　　 ノ 　　　・゜+. しーーＪ　　　°。+ *´¨)

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛

Soap, tending to Y/N's wounds: How would you rate your pain? Y/N: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend. Ghost: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Y/N: FORTY-FIVE SECONDS?!? Ghost: No! Four to five seconds! Soap: Too late!!!

Y/N: If you were to vacuum up jello through a metal tube, well I think that’d be a neat noise. Ghost: I beg to differ. Y/N: Then Beg. (imagining the silence that would follow this brings me great joy)

Gaz: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate, or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Y/N: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

Ghost: Soap and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Soap: Sentences. Ghost: Don't interrupt me.

Graves: I was arrested for being too cool. Y/N: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence. (a wild Graves appears!)

Y/N: I learned some very valuable lessons from this. Gaz: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away. Y/N: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

Y/N: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them. Soap: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

Y/N: Walking into a room Sorry I’m late… I was… doing things. Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder Graves: Out of breath THEY PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

Y/N: I prevented a murder today. Ghost, raising an eyebrow: Really? How’d you do that? Y/N: self-control.

Ghost & Soap: Please, we're begging you to go to a doctor. Y/N: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Y/N: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Gaz: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Y/N: Absolutely not.

Y/N: I made tea. Ghost: I don’t want tea. (bold-faced lie) Y/N: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Ghost: Then why are you telling me? Y/N: It is a conversation starter. Ghost: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Y/N: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Soap: I turned out perfectly fine! Price: Soap, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast. Soap: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!! Y/N, leaning over to whisper to Gaz: should we tell him it was actually Ghost? Gaz: nah Rudy: So he thinks a ghost made it, when it was actually our Ghost? Y/N: beautifully ironic, isn't it?

König: I’m going to take you out Y/N: great, it’s a date! König: I meant that as a threat. Y/N: See you at five! (god, I need to be taken out as well.)

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛ 　 ∧＿∧ （｡･ω･｡)つ━☆・*。 ⊂　　 ノ 　　　・゜+. しーＪ　　　°。+ *´¨) “Hie thee home, little wanderer.”

・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.✭・♛

[kcdrawns]

Wind Breaker incorrect quotes! Part5 💫✨

Part 4

♱*.ﾟ🎧⚝‧,₊˚🕷️✮𖤐📟🕸️,.♰༻⋆｡°✩..

Kaji finally being able to hold Riza and is blushing out of shyness and not knowing what to do.

Kusumi taking very discreet photos of this interaction, sending the photos to Hiragi while Enomoto is smiling and avoiding laughing

Hiragi checking his phone: Geez. I tought something was wrong but no.. chuckles ateast the kid looks happy.

♱*.ﾟ🎧⚝‧,₊˚🕷️✮𖤐📟🕸️,.♰༻⋆｡°✩..

Kaji, Enomoto and Kusumi patroling

Enomoto: Those firrrrst yearrrrs surre arre something huh

Kusumi writting happily: Yeah! They are so cool too! I want to adopt them. They are so silly. ♡⁠(⁠>⁠ ⁠ਊ⁠ ⁠<⁠)⁠♡

Kaji without music but headphones on: they are a pain in the ass

Kusumi: You say that but!! I do know their captain came to you for advice(⁠*⁠˘⁠︶⁠˘⁠*⁠)⁠.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Its okay captain Kaji we know you adore them.(⁠/⁠^⁠-⁠^⁠(⁠^⁠ ⁠^⁠*⁠)⁠/

Kaji: No, the fuck i don't.

Kusumi: i did hear Umemiya san and Hiragi san eavesdropped on you and him, and you pin hrd Umemiya senpai right?? It's okay i wont tell a soul. We know tou are q softie, wirh sharp edges but a softie.♡⁠(⁠Ӧ⁠ｖ⁠Ӧ⁠｡⁠)

Kaji: No?? The fuck??

Enomoto avoiding laughing

Kaji; the fuck you fucking chuckling at. Pay attention to your fucking damn environments what a pain the ass.

Enomoto whispers to Kusumi: Kaji acting like a dad? Never thought would happen but, punching Umemiya senpai? Damn he must have felt very embarrassed and shy huh

Kusumi: Now now dont be a bully to captain!

/(ಠ⁠ ⁠೧⁠ ⁠ಠ)\/

♱*.ﾟ🎧⚝‧,₊˚🕷️✮𖤐📟🕸️,.♰༻⋆｡°✩..

I adore these 3 so much, kusumi is so kind and cute. Hopefully we see more of them in the future ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔ

[lilacthebooklover]

Incorrect quotes

Ted: Are you an ‘arr’ pirate, or a ‘yo ho ho’ pirate? Felix: I’m a ‘I’m not paying $600 for photoshop’ pirate.

Jerome: I was arrested for being too cool. Carla: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

Monty: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Penny's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get her out...

Billy: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Lily: Lily: Billy, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn... Billy: *Sips coffee from bowl*

Alice, to Madison: My life is in the hands of an idiot! Madison, motioning to herself and Ron: No no no no no, TWO idiots!

Buggs: *Gets down on one knee* Nugget: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. Buggs: *Falls over* Nugget: The poison is kicking in.

Dr Danner: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why. Janitor: Only if you also don't ask why Janitor: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick. Dr Danner: Janitor: Dr Danner: This one is fine

Jerome: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder? Buggs: Stop romanticizing the past.

Nugget: Nugget prevented a murder today. Kid: Really? How’d you do that? Nugget: Self control.

Principal: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity? Applegate: *turning to Cindy* How tall are you?

Penny: Carla, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Carla: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Penny: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Monty.

Ozzy: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

Buggs: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

Cindy: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

Margaret: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal'. You don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

Hall Monitor: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Monty: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Jerome: You need to stop.

Ozzy: This is such a bad idea. Madison: Then why are you coming along? Ozzy: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Cindy: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right Buggs: Looking right because you left Jerome: Looking up cause you let me down Monty: Looking down cause you messed up Applegate: What is wrong with you

Ozzy: What’s something you guys are better than Felix at? Carla: Mario Kart. Madison: Yeah, video games. Ted: Emotional vulnerability :)

Carla: I think Felix was right. Ozzy: I'm surprised he hasn't marched in here to say 'I told you so.' Ted: He wouldn't do that! Felix: You're right, Teddy. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that. Felix: *turns around, the shirt he's wearing says 'Felix Told You So' on the back*

Male Principal: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

Kid: So what do you do? Monty: I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all Cancers. Kid: Wow, impressive. Monty: Then I'll move on to Leos.

Lily: Can I be frank with you guys? Kid: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help. Nugget: Can Nugget still be Nugget? Billy: Shh, let Frank speak.

I found an incorrect quote generator and had a blast ahdkjfh

[twocrowssinatrenchcoat]

Incorrect quotes: TCW (+TBB) edition

Obi-wan: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than kriff.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Quinlan Vos: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?' Quinlan: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Obi-wan: Ahsoka, gather the others. We need to have another Anakin-is-doing-something-stupid-again-and-we-have-to-stop-him-before-him-hurt-someone convention.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Ahsoka: Are you an “arr” pirate or a “yo ho ho” pirate? Hondo: I’m a “I’m not paying 600 credits for this” pirate.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Hondo: Ah, Kenobi! My old friend! Obi-wan: I think you tried to kill me at some point. Hondo: That was obviously just my way of getting to know you.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Obi-wan: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? Rex, watching Echo screaming, Hardcase trying to set a sleeping Jesse on fire, and Fives choking on air: I don't know either.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Obi-wan: Anakin, we tried things your way. Anakin: No, we didn't. Obi-wan: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

*Alternate Universe where Crosshair goes with Bad Batch* Crosshair: Smash his kneecaps and he’ll talk okay, I’m at a parent teacher-conference! Crosshair: Anyways you said Omega is enjoying fingerpainting, that’s great!

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Obi-wan: My knee just cracked so loudly that I half expect it to glow in the dark tonight.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Phee, attempting to flirt: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing. Tech: Are you a software update? because not right now.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Echo: I'm Fives's emergency contact. Medical droid: So, you're here to pick him up? Echo: I'm here to be removed as his emergency contact.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Hondo: Maybe the true treasure was friendship all along. But I hope not, because I can’t spend friendship on new clothes.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Obi-wan: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? Satine: Lillies, why? Obi-wan: Satine: Were you going to get me flowers? Obi-wan: Satine: Obi-wan: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Obi-wan: *Answers phone in the middle of the night* Hello? Anakin: It's Anakin. Obi-wan: What did he do this time? Anakin: No, it's me. It's actually me. Obi-wan: Oh. Obi-wan: What did you do this time?

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻

Obi-wan: Where’s Anakin? Rex: Doing stuff. Obi-wan: I don’t like the sound of that. Where’s Padme? Rex: Trying to stop Anakin from doing the stuff. Obi-wan: And Ahsoka? Rex: Trying to stop Padme from stopping Anakin from doing the stuff. Obi-wan: I see. And what are you doing here, Rex? Rex: I’m supposed to stop you from stopping Ahsoka from stopping Padme from stopping Anakin from doing the stuff.