#aro and ace experiences and putting them all under ace. half of the stuff she talks about is romance and relationships and dating and it’s

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

How You Get The Girl

Contemporary romance

follows a basketball star who left the sport 8 years ago after an injury, who unexpectedly becomes the foster parents for her niece who she encourages to join the high school basketball team

and the team’s coach, who happens to have been a massive fan, and also needs a co-coach

they start to become friends, and when the latter reveals her insecurities about dating and relationships, the other offers to practice dating her so she can figure things out. but of course they start to fall for each other..

lesbian MC, questioning demisexual MC

[thomaslightwood]

His armor || Kaz Brekker one shot

Greyro Kaz Brekker. This is all I have to say about this fic.

@readingwonders and I were talking about greyro/aro-spec Kaz so... 👀 We make up a lot of headcanons and this fic basically wrote itself

Words: 1550

•

Kaz took off his gloves, carefully, and put them on his desk. He started to wash his hands, frowning while thinking about the next step they should take in their plan.

Nothing in the room specifically moved, no sounds were made. But he still knew, as well as he knew his gloves, that Inej was in the room.

“You can take a break tonight, you know?” he said, without turning around. 

In the corner of his eyes he saw Inej. She sat on the edge of the window. 

“You too but here we are.”

Kaz suppressed his sigh and turned around.

“It's not like that and you know it.”

Inej arched an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

Kaz dried her hands and sat on the chair, immediately grabbing a stack of documents.

“By the way,” Inej said and stood up, approaching him. She was soundless. “I brought you what you asked for.”

She put a pure white ring in front of him, shining on the moonlight. Kaz stared at it without moving.

He scolded himself for asking Inej to bring him one. It was a momentous desire, impulse, that was harmless enough to ask Inej for it when she had time.

“Good,” he said, keeping his expression carefully blank. The ring was cold against his skin, a symbol that Kaz thought may mean something to him. Now he hated himself a little for giving so much thought for something meaningless to his goal.

He put it on the last drawer, not bothering to look at it. He couldn't look at Inej.

“What is this ring for, Kaz?” Inej asked. In the darkness in the room, exposed to the moonlight, she looked like a half shadow, healed by the light.

“A thread I decided I didn't need,” he said, staring at a document in his hands. He couldn't read a thing.

Inej was silent for a moment.

“I don't think so,” she said. 

Kaz didn't say anything. With the corner of his eye she saw her moving. She was leaving.

“Wait,” his voice sounded surprisingly steady.

He remembered what she said when he confessed he wanted her to stay. It was the closest thing he probably would ever say to a love confession and it wasn't even that. She said she will have him without armor or she will not have him at all.

There were these little moments, reckless perhaps, that dared to show up only in the dark. Moments when Kaz wanted to tear himself apart for her to have him, see him and see she was the only one who will ever see him like this. 

Was the ring part of his armor now? Along with the gloves and the cane? Was this the reason Inej didn't press him for answers? Was his armor so thick even the Wraith couldn't see through it? 

Sharp mind, a limp and a pair of gloves against the merciless Ketterdam. What else did he have outside his armor? All his demons, real and imaginative, waiting to eat him alive.

Sometimes armor is all you have. And sometimes you need to take it down. Even for a bit.

“Are you familiar with,” Kaz said slowly, “the term aromantic?”

Inej's gaze was fixed on him, pinning his heart into place. She tilted his head.

“Like asexual?”

“No,” Kaz shook his head. “Asexual is a person who experience little to none sexual attraction. Aromantic is someone who experiences little to none romantic attraction.”

She slowly nodded. “Make sense.”

“They both are spectrums,” Kaz continued. “They're like a mirror to each other but don't always go together. The symbol of asexuality is the black ring. The white ring… is for aromanticism.”

He saw in her eyes the moment she realized. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it again. She knew Kaz wasn't done.

“I am on the aromantic spectrum,” he said. His throat was a little dry and he was sweating. He took a deep and quick breath. “I suppose the term that fits me is greyromantic since in my life I have experienced romantic attraction extremely rarely and under certain circumstances.”

The label was as unnecessary as this conversation. Pointless beyond words. How could a simple word describe the complex gamma of his aromanticism? 

Inej nodded again, warm in her gaze.

“Thank you for telling me this,” she said softly. “I think it's wonderful.”

“Don't mention it,” Kaz said, looking at his documents again.

“Would it be okay if I ask something?”

After a second Kaz nodded. If it was anyone else Kaz probably would have kicked them out of the room. Hell, they wouldn't have this conversation at all. But for Inej it was always a yes.

“Will you wear the ring?”

The fingers of the hand that had held the ring trembled. He clenched it into a fist.

“I don't know.”

Inej smiled slightly. A soft sunbeam in the dark room. 

“I hope you do. Even if it's under the gloves.”

Kaz didn't hear her open the door or saw her leaving through the window, but he knew she was gone.

•

“Alright,” Kaz said. “Here is a copy of the list.” He headed it to Nina. “Inej and I will go inside the mansion, Jesper and Matthias are at the club and Nina and Wylan are the distraction. Questions?”

“What about the guards at the tower?” Wylan asked. “They can see the mansion very clearly even if Nina and I are dancing like monkeys with glitter.”

“What a cute monkey you would be,” Jesper grinned. Wylan went pink.

Matthias gave him a sympathetic look.

“They will be taken care of,” Kaz said. “This night only one will be on watch since the tower is locked. I will talk with him while Inej is breaking inside the mansion.”

Nina frowned.

“Why not me? Isn't that what I and Wylan are here for?”

Because Nina wouldn't be able to seduce him, Kaz thought. He wouldn’t leave his guard to fool with someone. And anything less wouldn’t distract a guard enough to make him look away from where we are.

“I have seen him before, in the club,” Kaz said. It was an accident but Kaz wouldn’t say it to them. He remembered the guard clearly. Coffee eyes and loud laugh. A black ring on his middle finger on his right hand. A white one on the other middle finger. Mirroring each other but different. That's why he knew he could distract him. He would talk with another aro. “And know with certainty he can’t be seduced.”

Jesper frowned. “How come?”

“He is aro ace,” Kaz said finally.

The room was silent for a moment. Then Jesper nodded.

“Yeah, fair enough. Are we sure though? He may have a wife or secret lover.”

“I’m sure,” Kaz just said. 

“How do you know that, demjin?” Matthias snorted. “You read his diary?”

“Leave it alone,” Inej said quietly, but no person in the room missed her words. Jesper shrugged. Wylan looked uneasy. Nina had a curious gaze.

“Because,” Kaz said, frustrated with himself. He could have handled this better. “I wear the same ring as him.” He took off his left glove. The white ring, almost silver on the light, was on his hand, warmed by Kaz’s skin. “And a white ring on the left middle finger means the person is on the aromantic spectrum.”

The crows blinked. Inej nodded at him with an encouraging smile. Wylan’s mouth was agape. Jesper tried to say something but the ringing of the bells interrupted him. They had to go. 

“Come on,” Kaz said, grabbing his cane. He stood up. “We have work to do.”

They stood up as well, everyone heading for the door. Only Wylan dared to look at him and Inej as he was leaving the room.

“You know,” Inej said. She was next to him. “They’re not shocked you’re aro-spec. They’re shocked because you told them.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kaz said. He did think it. But it didn’t mean part of him didn’t care. 

•

Kaz put the stolen item on the safe, narrowing eyes at it. It wasn’t anything too expensive but it was pretty. 

“Hey.”

Kaz closed the safe and turned to Wylan. He raised an eyebrow.

“Um, Inej explained some stuff to us,” Wylan said. “And I know you probably don’t really care but,” he shrugged. “Be ready Jesper to make silly puns about arrows. And for Nina to look everyone for white rings,” Wylan smiled. “Even Matthias was super cool about it. He doesn’t understand it but he’s cool.”

Something light fluttered in his chest. The foggy dread in his stomach eased. He was glad he didn’t have to deal with their questions and honestly - their reaction. 

But Wylan looked like he wanted to say something more.

“You are right,” Kaz finally said. “I don’t care.” 

He took his cane which was propped up on the wall.

“Uh-oh,” Wylan said. “I...” Kaz stared at him. Wylan nervously held the edge of his shirt. “I'm a-spec too,” he blurted.

Kaz could only blink. “What...”

“I mean,” he smiled sheepishly. “I’m figuring things out. I’m not sure where I fit yet. Just wanted you to know this.”

Then he turned and left before Kaz could react. His steps could be heard as he was walking, more and more quiet.

Just then, Kaz allowed himself one small smile.

[yikesharringrove]

Changing the theme a bit, since I saw you dont hate Jonathan thank goddd, maybe Jonathan having to ask Steve and Billy for tips because he's aro or ace? Or something he knows Lonnie wouldve actually killed him for, which Billy gets and Steve is fully willing to help soft Jonathon be a THING and they are just his gay mentors and mayhaps. Nancy just doesnt get it and it gets messy and Will just stands up for his brother in full anger and slams the door in her face and hugs jon so tight he falls

Steve is sex-positive ace, Billy is sex-repulsed, and Jon is greyace bc I’ve gotten so many messages about how many people were affected positively by showing ace diversity in that one drabble I wrote, so we’re keeping this goin’ because you’re ALL VALID. 😤

-

Jonathan had been crashing on their couch for a week and a half and has yet to say anything about the situation more than Nancy and I had a fight.

Billy and Steve didn’t know what the fuck to do about it. Jonathan was obviously fucking heartbroken over whatever the fight had been about, but they didn’t wanna pry.

“Thank you guys for taking me in. I’m sorry, I’ve probably been cramping your style.” Steve just shook his head, serving three plates of eggs and toast.

“There’s not a lot of style going on in this apartment for you to cramp.” Steve smiled at him as he placed the plates on the table. Jonathan gave him an odd look.

“What do you, what do you mean?”

“We don’t really fuck.” Billy was always the blunt one. Jonathan’s fork clattered to the table.

“You don’t, why not?”

“Neither of us are really into it.” Jonathan looked like he could fucking cry.

“Me neither. That’s what the fight was. Nancy kept asking why we don’t have sex, and if I stopped loving her, and I do! I love her so much, but I just, sometimes I feel that way about her, but I usually don’t, and I’m so fucking confused.” Steve reached out, placing a firm hand on Jonathan’s arm.

“Jon, it’s okay. I mean, I don’t think we’ve had sex in like, a year?” Billy nodded.

“It was before we actually talked about how we both felt about it.”

“And is that-” Jonathan trailed off, but they got it. Is that like me.

“I don’t mind sex. If I’m with someone who wants to have it, I can be cool with that, but I don’t always get off, and it’s more about making the other person feel good, or using it as another way to be like, intimate. But I don’t really think about it, and I can definitely go without.”

“I actively don’t like fucking. I kinda think sex is, is fucking gross. I mean, you do you and all that, but like, every time I had sex it just, it made me feel gross.” He pulled a face.

“I just, I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel for her, honestly.” Jonathan ran a hand down his face. “Sometimes, sometimes it just feels like a fucking chore. And she just, she kinda confronted me about it, and I probably could’ve worded it better, but she got so angry, and hurt, and we just, we decided to take some time apart.” He pushed the eggs around his plate. “And there are some situations that I just, I want it with her so badly, but most, most of the time I just, I just want to be with her, like just spend time with her. And she, she’s never been very good at being sensitive about things, or, or, sympathetic, and she just, she made me feel fucking broken. Like there was something wrong with me.”

“First of all, fuck her for making you feel like that.” Billy had one eyebrow raised.

“Bill-”

“No. Jonathan, you are not broken, and it sucks she made you feel that way. If she can’t be in a relationship that respects your boundaries, then she is not the one.”

Steve sighed.

“Jon, Bill’s right. A relationship should be safe. She should be more mindful of your boundaries and feelings, and should not be making you feel bad for those things. I’m not saying you should like, dump her-”

“I am.” Steve batted a hand at Billy.

“-but, if you have an open conversation with her, and nothing changes, then you are always welcome here.” Steve squeezed his arm again.

-

The talk with Nancy had been bad.

She had taken everything really personally, said that Jonathan needed to sort out his priorities and to let her know when he’s attracted to her again.

And he tried, he tried so hard to explain the way he felt, that it all comes and goes like the fucking tide, but she had put her foot down.

So he showed up back to Billy and Steve’s apartment with two more suitcases and tears in his eyes.

“I just, I know I can fake it when I need to, I don’t know why I didn’t.”

“Because forcing yourself to do shit like that sucks. Fuck Nancy for being a bitch. Figure yourself out, and then find someone who respects your boundaries.”

Billy was pacing in front of the sofa, talking sharply, pointing at Jonathan a lot. Steve had one arm over his shoulders.

“You deserve respect, Jon. And you deserve to feel safe and happy in a relationship.”.

-

He couldn’t sleep that first night.

The fight was circling in his head, over and over and over and over-

He heard the bedroom door open, and someone creep out through the living room and into the kitchen.

He looked over the back of the couch, saw a bleary eyed Steve filling a glass of water for himself, wearing one of Billy’s faded band shirts, and a pair of panties.

Jonathan laid back down before Steve could see him looking.

-

The next morning, he found himself staring at Steve.

He had put shorts on, and even a chunky cardigan while he made breakfast, but Jonathan knew.

“Can I, can I talk to you about something?” Steve smiled brightly at him. “I, um, I noticed you coming out here last night.” Steve just nodded, a look of recognition in his eyes.

“You wondering about panties?”

“Um, yeah.” Steve shrugged. “I just like ‘em. And it’s not like, a sexual thing. Sometimes they make me feel sexy, but that’s not what it’s about. I just like them. Have a lot of women’s thing.”

“What about them do you like?” Steve shrugged again.

“It’s hard to describe. I’ve never felt like, super masculine. Like, big macho tough guy, I wanna hunt and never talk about my feelings.” Steve put on a stupid-sounding deep voice for his macho man. “And I mean, not all men are like that, but that’s kind of how you’re expected to be. And women are expected to be pretty and delicate, and I’ve always related to that more. Women’s clothes help me feel that way.”

“I’ve, um, I’ve always felt that too. Not necessarily the kinda, pretty and delicate part, but the, not feeling connected to masculinity and like, what’s expected from you.” Steve set down a plate of eggs and bacon in front of Jonathan, putting one down for himself as well, and one in Billy’s empty space.

“Hold that thought, I’m gonna grab Billy. He doesn’t like it when I yell for him.” Steve patted him on the arm, and was gone for a few minutes before he returned with Billy in tow.  “Okay, Jonathan. Please continue.”

“Well, not much to say. I feel like my dad kinda always shoved that like, macho man shit on me. Would take me hunting and stuff and I just never liked it.”

“Jesus, mine did that shit too. Not with hunting, but he was all about men having their place, and women having their place.” Billy took an aggressive bite of his bacon.

“Mine was too! I got sad once when I shot a rabbit, and he called me a pussy for like, a week.”

“When my dad was layin’ into me, if he ever saw my cry, it would just get that much worse.” They were nodding at one another, trading shitty dad stories back and forth. “He would like, get mad if I helped my mom cook and shit, too.”

“God, it’s like we had the fuckin’ same dad.” Billy raised his mug at Jonathan. “It’s hard to break outta that shit, even though he’s not in your life, anymore.”

“I think so, too. I haven;t seen him in years, but every time I do something he would’ve thought was too soft, I can still hear him in my head. And you know, that’s one of the things I like about Nancy. She’s really hard, and tough, and never expected me to be that way.” And he knows that in the end, Nancy was bad news for him, not being able to love and accept him, but that aspect of their relationship was so nice, so easy.

“There doesn’t always have to be both. I mean, Steve’s more outwardly soft, but we’re both real mushy at our cores. There doesn’t have to be a big tough one and a sweet soft one. Sometimes you have elements of both and you make it work.”

“You just have to find the balance within yourself, I think. And learn to embrace the parts of you that are soft and the parts that are hard.” Jonathan was nodding vigorously at Steve. “And it’s always different. I love getting to feel soft and pretty in a dress or something, whereas Billy finds ways to be soft by taking care of things, like me and all the plants.”

“Do you think, do you think you could help me? Find that, I mean.”

“Of course! Just think of the things you already feel, things that feel right when you do them, and that’s a good starting point. And maybe that’s your photography, and maybe it’s something else.”

So they let Jonathan experiment with things to find his softness.

He would help Billy tend to the fucking garden they had on the balcony, or bake with Steve. He took a million pictures, and Steve was thriving under the camera, would put on make up and something pretty and pose around the apartment.

It was just nice.

Getting to live with these two, and train himself not to be ashamed, it was nice.

Will would come and visit quite often, and he and Jonathan spent a wonderful Saturday evening coming out to each other, and validating the ever loving shit out of one another.

Billy and Steve came home to the two brothers hugging one another on the couch and trying to hold back tears.

Steve had inserted himself into the hug while Billy patted each one of them on the head and started making dinner.

But he figured of course this would happen.

His perfect little cocoon would crumble apart at some point.

Will had come over, and Steve and Billy had gone out to dinner together, leaving the two of them to order pizza and have a movie night.

It was great, hanging out with his brother like when they were little, not a fucking care in the world.

There was a knock at the door.

“Jon, it’s me. It’s Nancy. Can we talk” Jonathan’s heart stuttered to a halt in his chest.

Will was staring at the door like maybe he could set it on fire if he glared hard enough.

Jonathan sighed, opening the door to face his fate.

“Are you seriously still mad at me?”

“Yes.” She huffed.

“C’mon. Come back home.”

“Nancy, I can’t. Not if you’re not going to respect me.”

“We were fine. I don’t know why we can’t just go back to the way we were-”

“Because I was forcing myself to do things I was uncomfortable with just to make you happy.”

“Relationships are compromise, Jonathan.”

“I know that, but when I brought up to you what wasn’t working, you refused to listen. I was the only one forfeiting my boundaries and comfort in that relationship, and I deserve more.” She rolled her eyes.

“Jesus Christ, Jonathan, this is-” Will was shoving Jonathan back, stepping between the two.

“Nancy, he’s done talking to you about this. Unless you can respect that he doesn’t always feel that way, then move the fuck on.” He slammed the door right in her face. “You don’t need her.”

Jonathan was gobsmacked. Will had never spoken to anyone like that, at least not that Jonathan’s every seen.

“Why did you...?” He trailed off, still staring at the door.

“She was pissing me off. You’re right. You compromised everything in that relationship and she couldn’t even give you the bare minimum.”

Jonathan swept Will up, hugging him as tight as he possibly could.

“Thank you.”

“You deserve better than her.”

“Yeah, I do.”

[sohin-ace]

Jojo Drabble - Jotaro (Pride Month Special)

It's the end of Pride Month, and I haven't seen a single, not a single post about Aro/Aces...

I'm not really surprised. At all.

I'm linking some interesting videos and websites to help you understand this sexual orientation.

Asexuality: The invisible Orientation by Hippie Calico

I spent a day with Asexuals by Anthony Padilla

Asexuality by David Jay

Asexuality.org (available in 16 languages)

R/aaaacccccce on Reddit

R/asexuality on Reddit

(Both subreddits are very cute and full of funny memes and good positivity 💜🖤)

In regards to the visibility of this marginal and forgotten sexuality, I'll be making a drabble about it. With the only openly Aro/Ace character of Jojo that I know of.

※ Jojo Scenario • Jotaro - Ace to Ace

You opened the heavy metallic door leading to the rooftop, the loud clank and dry screech making you cringe. Hopefully the sound wouldn't alert the teachers or the class reps. After all, nobody was allowed on the roof. Especially during class hours.

You walked around, searching for a certain someone and, surely enough, the boy in question was there, just where you expected him to be.

"Man, you sure love to ditch, don't you?"

You chuckled and the male didn't even spare you a glance, his hat effectively shielding his face from the Spring sun as he laid leisurely on the floor, his arms pillowing his head.

"I could say the same to you."

Well, he wasn't wrong, you thought to yourself, but you would never admit it out loud and possibly give this smug man reason.

You slowly and carefully sat down next to him, groaning slightly at the painful difficulty of the usually simple task.

Jotaro perked up slightly at your discomfort, making sure you were alright. Thankfully you seemed alright and he relaxed.

"Yare yare daze, you shouldn't have come. You're still recovering, why are you walking flights of stairs now?"

That's right. You were still under medication and strict medical supervision for your quite severe stomach wounds. And you still weren't used to your prosthetic leg just yet.

It was purely a miracle that you managed to survive that fight against Dio, and you never ever took a second of your life for granted after that, thinking of the friends who didn't have the same chance as you, lost forever during that battle.

You looked down at your uniform skirt. You couldn't think about that now. You had to lift up the mood for Jotaro, and for them.

"Hey, I'm fine." You dismissed with a smile, "It doesn't even hurt that much anymore, it's been a while now." You reassured and he only mumbled his catchphrase again, laying back down.

You two kept each other company in comfortable silence. Despite everything, Jotaro was still taciturn and you were much calmer after all that happened the past few months.

It was already the end of the school year and your thoughts drifted to the future that awaited you, and what it had to possibly offer.

"Say, Jotaro..." You softly grasped his attention and he only hummed in response. "What do you think will happen next? After we graduate, I mean..."

"Hmm?" He opened a curious blue eye at you." ...Go to college or get a job. Or both. What else do you want to do?"

"Ah well..." You paused and thought of your next words. "I don't want to but... Guess I'll have to get married and stuff eventually... Have kids, cook for my husband, things like that you know..."

Jotaro clicked his tongue and scoffed at the disgusting idea. "...Bullshit."

"I know..." You sighed and looked back down at the male, only to see him stare at the now more covered sky, his usual glare softer on his face. You knew what he was thinking.

"Jotaro..." You called and he looked at you. "You're the same as me... Right?"

He didn't say anything, but his eyes spoke answers for him. You may not have known him for very long, but the adventures and experiences you lived with him were worth much more than years of friendship.

He huffed and closed his eyes. "Yare yare daze... Why are you talking about depressing things, now?"

"I mean... Can you blame me for being worried? I know you feel the exact same, Jotaro." You brought your knees up to your chest and stared ahead. "You'll have to get through the same thing at one point too... That's... What we're expected to do, after all... Whether we like it or not."

He hated to admit it, but you were right. What was the place in society for two outsiders with not interests in romantic or sexual relationships?

What were Aromantics and Asexuals besides loners, straight people craving attention and finding poor excuses for their lack of charisma?

Especially when everybody well knew that the only way to succeed in life, was to share it with a significant other and keep the bloodline going forever.

...Or was it really?

All these thoughts, your obligations as members of the patriarchal modern society, the implications behind all of it, the consequences, the fate you two would be doomed in. All of these were so painful. A lifelong struggle.

He was aware that he'd have to complete his other half of his life, achieve the ultimate life goals of getting married to a beautiful little wife and have cute little children running around the house and all that jazz.

But that's not how Jotaro Kujo had ever imagined his life would be like.

He had his own dreams, his own comforts. Being alone was good. So good. But he had no choice, he'd have to satisfy society's expectations. He'd have to make his mother proud and granting her the little grandchildren she always wished to have.

Jotaro looked back at your metallic leg. After all you've been through, after all he's lost to save his mother, pleasing her and making her happy was the least he could do to honor your sacrifices and the deaths of his loved ones.

But what could he do? Force himself? A man couldnt force himself to develop feelings, he could only pretend. But what good would that do him?

He'd have to, eventually. He couldn't help but think back at you. You were all the same. And you two would be judged for life for not following suit and do like everyone else, like little sheeps.

Was it so wrong to not want to be with a special someone? To not get attached or attracted? Why was it so weird? Why was it unacceptable? Who deemed it necessary, to get stuck into marriage just for the sake of being married?

And man, his thoughts rathered to drift to sex either, that's really the last straw and if possible, he'd love to shut everybody up about it. Shut up everybody who only validated a man's worth by his primal urge to knock a woman up.

You seemed to be the only one he could actually talk about this with, since people would just tell you the usual 'You're gay!' or 'You haven't found the one yet!'.

Just like telling a depressed person to 'cheer up'. Bullshit excuses of people who couldn't accept that mindsets and sexualities differ with each human being.

What were the two of you supposed to do? You were stuck, cornered.

He was a stone that knew nothing about affection, and he already pitied the unlucky woman who'd get to him.

And you were just as bad of a stone. He felt bad for you, for having to have to lay down and take it without batting an eye just to satisfy the needs of the greedy bastard that'd snatch you away.

"... We'll figure it out, Y/N. We've dealt with much worse to worry about things like that."

"That's true but... I don't know. It's hard to imagine a family life. I like chilling on my own. And I'm still too sad about them to be lovey-dovey."

He scoffed, hitting your back playfully. "So what? Let two hopeless rocks with crippling depression be themselves. Sounds like a plan."

"Now, hear yourself talking about depressing things!" You chuckled and pointed out accusingly at him, stealing his precious hat and putting it on your own head.

He sat up with an exhausted sigh and roughly pulled his hat down your eyes, as his own little revenge, gratified by a small 'Ow!' of response from your end.

He let out a ghost of a smile as you were blinded by his hat, thankful that you couldn't see him even though he knew you'd never tease him for being more expressive.

"Ow, that actually hurt, Jojo, you bastard!"

"Let's go." He stood up before stretching his huge hand out to you, making sure to be careful with your injuries as he pulled you up to your feet with surprising gentleness.

Before you could reach your classroom, you grabbed your friend's arm, prompting him to stop walking in the empty hallways.

"But really, Jojo... Wherever you are, and if you have been pushed into a life that unsatisfies you in the future... think about me, okay? You know that somewhere, I'll be the exact same... You're not alone."

He couldn't help but soften his gaze just slightly. You were a thoughtful person, that wasn't a secret. You already had proven yourself to be compassionate multiple times during your crusade, and you kept on.

You made him realise that he was normal and it was okay to not feel anything. You two could only rely on each other now, and it sure didn't matter to him what people say.

Oh of course he'd heard his classmates gush about how cute you two were and how uncharacteristically sweet he was towards you ever since you came back from your trip.

Because the infamous Jotaro Kujo wouldn't just have a soft spot for just anyone, right? Nobody would believe that he became so gentle just because you were injured, there must be something more, right?

No. Absolutely not. And screw society for fogging people' small brains into thinking that there's an afterthought or innuendo behind every male-female, or even same sex platonic relationships.

He knew well that it made you as uncomfortable as him, but you always brushed it off and let the people talk. Let them believe whatever they wanted.

He never wanted to think too much about it, but he couldn't help but worry as well sometimes. That was the kind of things that pissed him off.

It pissed him off so bad. If it wasn't for you he would have crushed so many skulls already. That would teach some people to shut the fuck up.

"What are you thinking about, Jotaro?"

He blinked, humming questioningly at you as you had taken him out of his transe.

"You just called Star Platinum." You said as you grabbed the Stand's big hand, shaking it around as if to greet him, to which he responded with a whispery 'Ora'.

He sighed heavily, calling his Stand back. "Nothing... Nothing at all."

You chuckled a bit. You've learned to read him quite well overtime. A skill only his mother and Kakyoin had mastered. "I'm worried too, Jojo. Hopefully it will be okay... For us."

You patted his back reassuringly and he smiled.

Wasn't that kind of love enough? Love without obligation, without commitment. Without the consequences. Without gender norms, without standards. Just people caring for each other. Wasn't friendship, camaraderie, sisterhood and brotherhood beautiful enough?

Platonic, unromantic love was much stronger than any other type of relationship. He was satisfied with this form of social contact. He didn't need anything more.

Jotaro Kujo was never a greedy man, after all.

The male was suddenly brought back to his sense when he felt a tiny hand tug insistently at his sleeve, hoping to wake him up from his rêverie.

"Papa, you fell asleep on your desk again..."

Jotaro inhaled tiredly, scratching his head and taking in his surroundings, his study back in his home in Florida. He patted his daughter's head, making her scrunch her face a little.

Was it that late already? He was so used to dozing off after working on his thesis, reflecting on his life and his choices. He had been overworking himself lately. He knew he shouldn't overthink, but he couldn't help it.

"Thank you Jolyne. Go back to sleep now, alright?"

The little girl nodded and trutted out, leaving her father alone to his thoughts.

Jotaro let out another breath, eyeing a certain picture frame, taken in the desert. Hopefully you were living a fulfilling life of your own.

And hopefully you two would get to meet again, and maybe talk again.

Ace to ace.

[mcrmadness]

I need to stop going to these LGBT+ wikis to read about things when I feel confused over terms, I only end up being even more confused and overwhelmed over the amount of terms there, especially when over the half of them has "Tumblr use *name here* came up with this term in 20XX".

It's like a rabbit hole??? I just want to read about some aspec term, let's say aplatonic, and I end up in a spiral of pages that end up to a page that has a term such as ahomoheterosexualplatonicgay or whatever. And this is a joke. Maybe a bit distasteful joke but honestly, this is how I feel when I see the amount of these terms that sound more like they were only designed to one person and then uploaded to some LGBT+ wiki to where everyone can write!

And because I know how Tumblr is like, I'm gonna say that I am TOTALLY FINE with people coming up with terms for themselves, I'm not here to gatekeep anything or anyone, what I'm saying is that it's just so incredibly confusing to have the aspec identities broken into even smaller microlabels under microlabels.

I myself stop at asexual and aromantic. I don't need to define these terms more than that. Sometimes I use "loveless aro" but the reason I started googling and ended up being overwhelmed (as I do every single time I visit these wikis) was because I again forgot what it feels like to be a loveless aro, and simply wanted to know.

Then I again started to read about how it feels like to be aplatonic. Or demiplatonic. And I don't understand. But I might have found a new term for myself called Laimoplatonic because apparently it is e.g. "when one does not know if they are aplatonic or not because they don't know what platonic attraction feels like" and lmao if that isn't me. But that still goes a bit too far for me so I guess I'm gonna just keep saying I'm loveless aro or maybe aplatonic. There's also a chance of being demiplatonic but maybe I just have never met such person yet. I do have a desire for emotional intimacy (no physical), the kind you can experience with only one person usually (depending on what you like, that is), but that's all. Still don't know if that goes under platonic attraction or not since, as I already said, I don't know how it feels like since I don't know if I have ever felt platonic attraction. Exactly the reason for why I am aroace too cos I have never felt sexual nor romantic attraction, but at the same time I'm so curious I'm always wondering what do those feel like cos I can't even imagine them. It's the same with platonic. I do have that when I see someone and I just feel like I'd love to be their friend cos I feel like we'd get along perfectly, but I think that is more about the vibes and my loneliness and the need to have like-minded friends, and I'm not sure if being aplatonic (or demiplatonic) means that, or the lack of "deeper" platonic attraction.

This is why I use the word loveless aro sometimes because I do care about my friends and family, sometimes very deeply, but I cannot explain how do I care about them. I don't know what I feel or don't feel. I just have a hunch that it's not the same kind what they feel, you know? Not sure if it's my neurodiversity, but even that doesn't explain it when also many of my friends are neurodivergent aka probably would experience stuff more similarly to me than to neurotypicals. Yet none of them is fully aroace/aro/ace (as far as I'm aware), so they experience these differently from me.

But then again, it could just be the fact that I am very lonely and I don't even remember anymore how I am with other people in general. I think I know how I am, but at the same time I think it's just how I IMAGINE I am cos I no longer know. I only know how I used to be when I was a teenager, but I have never really had friends as an adult and I'm really bad at maintaining friendships. Like, that is another problem: I care about my friends, but I don't really miss them ever. I am always happy to text or talk or meet and it's lots of fun, but I just never have the desire to contact anyone. I can go for months without any kind of interaction with anyone and I don't feel a thing, cos for me friendships kinda are only put on hold but they don't disappear just because they're put on hold? I recently saw a post about something similar to this and apparently it's a neurodivergent thing. But yeah, if we talked yesterday or a year ago, I simply don't feel the difference. The only downside is: people do change a lot even in a year so I often feel like I no longer know the person because while the friendship was on hold, I feel like so was the person too.

A bit like playing a video game and when you quit, it continues from where you were left and the characters are still the same. That's how my brain think also real life works and it's always so weird to notice the people have grown and evolved meanwhile I wasn't interacting with them, which sometimes is very overwhelming for me. This is why I often have problems when I think about my friends as I often go from "THIS IS MY FRIEND" to "I don't know this person???" and back to "THIS IS MY FRIEND" in milliseconds. And it's very, very confusing. I often wonder if I actually know any of my friends and if everything is just an illusion in my head I have created from the pieces I have collected about them over the years. I could be so wrong about all my friends, when I really think about it. Especially when I have used even years old pieces.

For example: My only IRL friend I have known since we were 15, so for 15 years now, and I think the reason I feel weird about her is because some of the "pieces" of her are still the ones I collected when we were 15. And they don't fit today's pieces of her. Yet I try to make them fit and find it really difficult to throw away the old pieces, so in my head it's like a puzzle made from totally unmatching pieces I'm trying to force to stick together with tape and such. And that's why I still feel confused when talking to her, because the way she is today is sometimes much better than when we were teenagers, but at the same time I still am mentally in the time we were 15-20 and expect her to answer and think the way she did back then. It's very confusing to my brain.

Idk what I'm saying here. I meant this to be just a random rant but then it turned into a deep thoughts once again...

[gideongrace]

Talking amongst ourselves - fanfic writer interviews: @ihni

(Originally, these interviews were done more conversationally, but this interview is a LONG one! So I edited it down for tumblr. You can read the whole unedited, uncut interview over on a03! There are pictures involved. :)

Please say your first name, your age, your pronouns, the fandoms you write for and provide a link to your a03. You can also mention your sexual orientation or other details, if you'd like.

 Ihni:

My real name is Moa, but I go by Ihni online. On AO3, I have an account under Ihni (https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ihni) but that's for rhymes (and doodles). I only wrote rhymes/poetry for a long time, and when I started writing fic, I wanted to put that under another pen name. I was NOT comfortable writing stories for YEARS. Now, though, I don't care. So, I write fics under the pen name Thei (https://archiveofourown.org/users/thei/).

It's all Stranger Things, these days. Harringrove (because I love the fandom and I like the two of them interacting) and Billy-centric (because I love his character, SO MUCH).

I am ace and aro, so my fics tend to not contain any sex (I have ALLUDED to it a couple of times, but that's basically as far as I go). I am also just as happy to write fics without any romantic or sexual relationships at all. Billy and Steve can be buddies only, as far as I'm concerned.

How do you feel about being aroace when so much of fanfic is all about romance and sex?

Ihni:

I live by the tried and tested rule of "don't like, don't read". 

There is a lot of romance in our fandom, for sure. But it's not like it's lovey-dovey IN OUR FACE romance, you know? 97% of Harringrove fics are two dumb boys who are bad at communication and who can't deal with Feelings. And I fucking live for that! Also, even the lovey-dovey fluffy romance stuff is cute, when it's them. I may not want a relationship for myself, but I don't mind at all if the boys are in one! (If they want it, they deserve it <3)

And as for sex ... well. I can read about sex, if it's well written or if it furthers the plot. If it's too graphic, I tend to scroll past it though, or just skim through it. It doesn't... give me a lot? I guess. Like, it's not like I read "smut" in the tags and go "oooh I have to read this!" - rather the opposite, in fact. I can read it, but it's not something I actively look for, and when I stumble upon it, I don't always read all of it. If I know the writer, I'll probably read through it to honor their work, though.

I just won't ever leave a "omg that was so hot!" comment! XD If someone expects that from me, they'll be disappointed (and I'm constantly terrified of disappointing or offending people for NOT commenting on their smut).

Basically, I am the master of my own fandom experience, and if something makes me uncomfortable I will keep away from it. Simple as that.

More people should live by that rule.

What's your writing process like?

 Ihni:

Uuuuuuuugh.

That's an interpretation of my writing process.

No, but.

I usually get SUPER INSPIRED to write a specific scene, or concept... and THAT part goes well, but then I have to build a STORY around it, and that takes SUCH A LONG TIME and SO MUCH EFFORT!

And also, usually, it gets out of hand.

I usually have to force myself to get the words in, honestly. And also, I get real tired of what I'm writing, real fast. So I have to force myself to finish (I have a few WIPs that are more than a year in the making...) before moving on to other things. (And I usually write the other things inbetween, anyway.)

I get easily distracted, when I write. Like, actually sitting down and writing takes an hour and a half. Then I MIGHT write for like twenty minutes, lol.

Cold Turkey Writer was a godsend XD.

If I have internet on while I'm writing, not a lot will be written, let's just ... let's just say that.

How do you edit?

Ihni:

HAHAHAHAHAHAA

Erm.

Well.

Sometimes, I read through it once, and change a few things, and let that be it.

In a couple of cases, for the longer ones, I have actually made an effort to read through it more than once. (The problem being that by then, I'm so sick of it that I will skim through it just to get it over with.)

A couple of times, a friend has read through it for me, and given me pointers. Which is VERY HELPFUL! But they've offered to do it for me, I would never ask it of someone.

And about the editing process ... I check for spelling mistakes, or when something sounds wrong, or looks wrong ... and then I fix it, so it looks and sounds better in my head. I don't know. That's editing, right?

What fanfic authors do you admire?

Ihni:

In the Harringrove fandom, I have to mention LEMONLOVELY, because I'm in love with the way she writes Billy, and the way she's shaping her fics as she goes, and the way her attention to detail brings a whole mood (I am OBSESSED with her "Words Left Unsaid" fic, and am probably that fic's biggest fan).

LYMRICKS, because fucking hell, they sure can write a fic that draws you in. There's something about long sentences in combination with short sentences that really makes them easy to read, and the language is like a punch to the gut, at times.

CALLIEB, because I love their stories and I'm currently following "Second Thoughts" and I love how they write everyone like ... like they're holding their breath, waiting for something.

And I'm not even gonna mention any others by name because I'm terrible with names and I'm bound to forget someone and I'm just, I don't want to do that. Our fandom is full of talented writers, and I just. If I've commented on your fic, I read through all of it and I liked it. If I haven't - well, I HAVE been writing more lately = less time to read, and I have like 100 fic tabs open on all of my devices ... I hope to get there, some time!

In other fandoms, let me mention PeaceHeather (for how they write Loki and that world), aloneintherain (such good whump!), isaDanCurtisproduction (the absolute best Spideypool!) and gaelicspirit (who writes lovely angsty whumpy Musketeers fics). Like. Just to mention 0.01%, or something.

I don't think any of them, particularly, have impacted my style - because I don't HAVE a style - but I soak up every word of every fanfic I ever read, and if one sentence is a particularly pretty string of words, I will copy & paste it into a word document that is now 170 pages long, or screenshot it to keep it forever. ❤️

Words. <3

What's your favorite story of yours?

What's your least favorite story of yours?

What's your favorite line you've ever written?

Ihni:

Like, in what SENSE? Even though I know my writing isn't up to par, they're still my babies. Still my creations. I love them in different ways! Like. I love "Coming Back" because it was the longest I had written back then, and it's probably the one I am most pleased about, writing-wise, and it's also the one I went through and edited the most. So it feels like the one I worked the most on.

I love "Toy Soldiers" because it was a totally self-indulgent piece of writing that I wrote for the joy of it, and because I wanted to read it and no one else was about to write it for me.

I love "About Apologies" because something about it pleases me, it was an experiment that didn't fail, and I like it more and more with time.

I love "Less of a mistake, more of a miscalculation" because I had fun while writing it, and it turned out kind of like I wanted it to, plot-wise.

I love "Actions and reactions", because I had no idea what I was doing back then, but I still did it, and somehow it got long and I still don't know how that happened.

And I realise that this makes me sound a little self-centered, but I worked hard on them. I love them, even if they're my ugly and imperfect babies. And even if I cringe if I re-read certain parts XD

I guess my least favorite story of mine (and I'm guessing we're talking Stranger Things things here?) is "Not unusual" because a) I never re-read it and b) it was the start of something that I have to actually FINISH at some point and ugh, that was not the original plan. If we're talking least favorite stories in all fandoms, then definitely "In which there are mistakes made", which was a Teen Wolf fic, and the reason why I don't do WIPs anymore. The last chapter was written simply to fucking END it, and ugh, I hate it.

The favorite line I've ever written ...? I don't know. Are we talking in fic? Because I write my best stuff in comments, honestly. :p I don't think I have an answer for that one, actually. Sorry :S

What part of writing is easiest for you?

What part of writing is hardest for you?

 Ihni:

Easiest? Dialogue. I like dialogue. Like, as a non-English speaker I can at least imagine a plausible exchange of words, and banter, and make it sound somewhat realistic, I imagine.

Hardest? The rest. Like, some people are just fucking WIZARDS with words, can write these long descriptive sentences that perfectly sets the mood for when a character gracefully moves across the room ... whereas I am just, "He stood up and walked over. End of fucking story."

What do you do when you're struggling for inspiration?

Ihni:

Give up?

Or do something else.

Or go and read. (That's basically the same as giving up.)

Or, if I'm still writing, I go to another part of the story and write THAT, and hope that I'll feel like connecting the two pieces, later.

Inspiration is a bitch.

Who introduced you to fandom and when?

Ihni:

Oh god. I am old. I don't remember. 

I started writing stories when I was real young, and I was always reading something. I started writing stories with my friends when I was a teenager. Then we discovered the internet (yes, this was around the time when we got internet access in school and at home, told you I was old!) and when doing that, I guess we found more like-minded people.

Fanfics ... weren't an organized thing, back then. But I've been reading them, and been in fandoms, ever since I discovered that there were people online who liked the same things that I liked.

I would say, actively, from maybe around 19-20 years old? Like, that was ACTIVE fandom-ing.

What is your advice to fellow writers?

How often do you jump between fandoms?

How long have you been writing?

Ihni:

As a WRITER, I am not the best person to give advice to writers, I think. I'd rather TAKE advice than give it, at this point.

As a READER, my advice is to WRITE, WRITE, WRITE, because you are doing a good thing and you are creating a version of a world that is yours, versions of characters that you can shape into anything, and SOMEONE out there will love you for it (probably me).

I jump between fandoms ... hmm, as a WRITER? Seldom. Billy's my jam and I'm not moving.

As a READER? All the time. I mean, I'm pretty deep into Harringrove and Billy and Stranger Things, but sometimes I need something light-hearted, and then I go back to some of my basic fandoms, and read something else. I will never run out of things to read. 

❤️

And how long have I been writing? FOREVER. I wrote when I was young, and thought I was going to be an author (wrote in Swedish, back then). Then I wrote when I was a teen, for fun. Then I stopped writing. Then I started writing rhymes, in English, because it was a craft I could do and train in, and it was short pieces. And only in recent years (very recent), have I started writing fics. And now, I write long-ass fics in English, so I guess I have at least come a long way!

Why do you write?

Ihni:

...

I just sat and stared at the screen for a good ten seconds.

I'd say that it differs.

Sometimes, I write because I want to READ something and no one has written it (or is going to).

Sometimes, I write because I want a very specific thing or feeling, and it doesn't exist yet.

Sometimes, I write because I am inspired.

Sometimes, I write because I want to.

Sometimes, I write because of a deadline.

Sometimes, I write because there's something in my head that Won't Leave Me The Fuck Alone until I get it out.

Sometimes, I write for fun.

Sometimes, I write because I want to hurt.

Sometimes, I write because I need to.

Sometimes, I write because I want to become better at it; learn; reach towards the writers whose work I love.

And sometimes, I just sit and stare at a document, don't write a single fucking word, and go watch a movie instead.

[drjackandmissjo]

Roses are Red, Tattoos are Forever

Chapter 3 --- previous chapter

Feysand masterlist

The Sherlock Conundrum

Florist and tattoo artist Au, Modern Day

“Can you please stop with this madness? Hugh Laurie is clearly the best Sherlock ever!”

They were both sitting on the couch of his living room. Really close to each other. She had her left knee under her body and was fully facing him. He had been throwing glances at her way the whole time she’s been there, and now was admiring her everything as they bantered lovingly.

After a particularly rough client, that had taken her nearly seven hours to finish, she came into his shop claiming: “We’re both closing earlier, I need to rest and so do you.”

At his attempt to tell her off, cause “I don’t need to rest I am in pristine fit every second of every minute”, she simply replied with an elongated ‘Please’ and a pair of puppy dog eyes that would’ve put a Labrador to shame.

Useless to say, they ended up on his couch half an hour later, a marathon of the fourth season of House M.D. on the television and chips and popcorn all around.

Feyre is harder than she looks, tougher. She likes to drink whiskey and burning liquor and beer.

Rhys, on the other hand, is a refined rosé man. He drinks fruity drinks and cocktails and vodka. He tried the same stuff that she drinks, once, when they went out with the rest of the inner circle after Az had received a promotion. It didn’t end well.

Feyre and Cassian will forever tease him about it.

Since their taste in alcohol was on such a wide spectrum, they decided to settle for some sparkly Coca-Cola for that fine night.

About halfway through episode six, the debate had begun. The show was soon forgotten and left as a white noise machine that lulled them into their silliness.

“Feyre Darling. You are being delusional. Dr House’s got nothing on RDJ’s Sherlock. Just cause the character was inspired by Conan Doyle’s work it doesn’t mean it can be considered a Sherlock.”

She laughed. A delicious sound that was filling his days more and more each morning. “Do you know that Conan Doyle based Shelly on a doctor, right? Also, yeah Jude Law’s better than Wilson, that is true.”

“Can we just agree that Cumberbatch and Freeman are equally amazing.”

“Yeah, duh! But, controversial opinion: I don’t actually ship Jonhlock romantically.”

“More like platonic soul-mates? Makes complete sense. They are not interested in each other at all. You are right, Fey-ruh Acheron.”

‘HOW DARE SHE...’, he thought severely displeased.

“Oh please don’t be pissed at me. I like them together and everything, but in my mind, Sherlock is pretty much ace-aro. I mean, Cumberbatch was also Smaug. Which in the books is described as a dragon while the movies decided to portray him like a vixen...” He solemnly nodded.

That is, indeed, a severe problem in mainstream media.

“That is, indeed, a severe problem in today mainstream media. We live in a world where people don’t know the difference between one another! Daenerys Mother of Dragons? More like Dany The Soccer Mom of three cool lizards. That would be more appropriate!”

“Don’t talk to me about Dany, I’m still pissed about Jonerys. I mean, fan-service much? Okay, I can deal with that. But don’t freaking kill Viserion and try to make us all believe that HIS MOTHER WOULD FUCK HER NEPHEW THIRTY MINUTES LATER!”

She laughed again.

‘Gods above and below,’ he thought, ‘how much can a person love another?’

“Agree 100% on Viserion, though Jon after Ygrit should’ve just zipped up his pants and close business. You experience that kind of love once in your screentime. And when you do, Martin kills the counterpart off immediately after the big scene. You know that sadist is gonna kill you off, so just spare him the dirty deeds to write.”

“The dirty deeds are the reasons he is taking so much to finish that freaking book. Also, salty much?"

"You dare calling me salty? It’s been years and you still weep over Robb’s body.”

“Excuse you, it is a very fine body. Have you seen Richard Madden lately? With that kilt at Kit and Rose’s wedding? Fine AF.”

She was now scooting over, moving closer to his face to find a reaction.

“Fine, you’re right. But Darling, you know damn well I am attracted to that man, you can’t just casually throw his name around! That would be like me, saying that Misha has aged like a fine whisky.”

“And where would a lie hide in that sentence?”

“ANYWAY. We were talking of something terrifically important.”

He decided to add a Meaningful Pause to give himself some dramatic effect...

“How can you say you don’t ship Jonhlock romantically?”

‘Honesly I love that woman. She is my other half, I would die for her and with her. My life without her has no meaning.

But if her answer doesn’t please me then so help me God I will suffer through a meaningless life with the strength of my ships.’ His mind said.

“I told you before the 'The Hobbit/Game of Thrones' parenthesis. When I read the books I thought of Sherlock as a madman who cared about Watson profoundly, but mostly cares about himself and his work. Someone who doesn’t dwell into feelings, doesn’t really enjoy sexual times and, truly, a modern-day asexual and aromantic asshole with a kink for unofficial police work. Yes, He and Watson are amazing together, and especially with RDJ and Jude Law I saw the sexual tension, which then I also saw in the BBC’s version. But for me, since I read the books first, Jonhlock will always be the exact relationship shown by House and Wilson. Sorry to disappoint.”

She was so close to him, he could smell her shampoo and count the freckles across her nose. She was staring directly into his soul. Rhys was fully clothed in an old tee and some pants and yet he’d never felt more naked.

“You never disappoint me. As a matter of fact, you never cess to amaze me, Feyre Acheron. You are perfect and beautiful both on the inside as well as on the outside. Here I was, looking for a polite way to kick you out of my apartment after you say you don’t ship one of my OTPs and now, here still I am trying not to be drowned into you and trying not to get lost into your eyes and I love you so fucking much that it physically hurts.”

His inner monologue at the time? ‘Fuck. FUCK. What the fuck did I just say???’

She had managed to fry his whole brain with her smart reasoning and perfect voice and now he had ruined a perfect moment by saying cheesy stuff to a girl that didn’t particularly care for cheese.

That was the end of Rhysand Sphera as we all know and love him.

Cause of death: killed by Feyre Acheron as result of saying something completely idiotic.

Only...

“Do you really mean that?”

She sounded hopeful and scared at the same time. The horrors she had to face in the past came running back to her and were written all over her face. Rhys took her hands in his. They were both trembling.

His mouth had probably never been that dry and yet aching to speak at the same time. He could only nod and pray she reciprocated.

That was the moment of truth.

“Of course I mean it. All of it. Each unsaid sentence and each shared glances. Every time I bring you coffee or a send you a picture of a dog that walks into my shop with its owner even though I’m terrified of them. The dog, not the owner. Even though some owners of dogs are terrifying. I have been in love with you for so long, I forgot how it feels not loving you. I look back at those times when you were not in my life and even back then I knew I was missing something. And when he-who-must-not-be-named showed up and swept you off your feet away from me, I was broken beyond repair. But you came back and made me hope that maybe, maybe all my dreams could become true. But you were hurt and also broken, and you needed time to heal. You still do. I shouldn’t have said anything, but you’re just so fucking amazing that I struggle to not scream ‘I Love You’ every time you breathe. I am utterly in love with you and hopelessly devoted to you. I understand if you still need time to heal or would rather be with someone else. But I said it, and I do not intend on taking it back.”

She was kneeling on the couch, her hands still clutching his, tears streaming down her face.

“Don’t take it back.”

Rhys thought he had heard what he wanted, so he had to ask, “What?”, a dumbstruck disbelieving-his-luck expression plastered on his face.

“I said don’t take it back. I feel the same way. I am utterly in love with you and hopelessly devoted to you too. I thought you hated me after, well, Tamlin. It is pleasant knowing we reciprocate each other’s feelings.”

Feyre laughed again, breaking the spell between them. Only, now the deed was done. Neither of them could hold their emotions in any longer. Feyre leaned in and so did Rhys, and their lips met halfway in a once in a lifetime, epic romance, Full on Princess Bride type of kiss.

After they both ran out of breath, they simply remained connected in every way possible given their awkward position. Foreheads never leaving each other, hands clasped together, lips barely touching. That spell, though, didn’t last for long. Soon they yearned to touch each other’s skin and feel each other’s bodies.

They were never going to have enough of each other.

[aziraphaleandcrowley]

Tldr: me word vomiting lots of random emotions and thoughts I’ve been having about my life. Would put under a read more but tumblr mobile is shite. Ignore if you wanna, I just needed to throw this into the world cos I’ve been so socially distant from everyone in my life that I haven’t spoken to anyone about this, and I’m not sure I would’ve even if I actually replied to my friends more than once in a blue moon

...............................................................

Me: honestly convinced I’m never gonna find romantic love cos I’m ace and probably aro - at the very least I’ve never been attracted to/interested in someone enough to want to date them and the whole being sexually attracted to someone and looking a people and wanting to have sex with them sounds fake and doesn’t resonate with me at all.

Me: is theoretically a very sex favourable and positive person but the idea of sex with someone I’m not dating is just so weird to me but damn do I wish there was someone who knew me and my likes and dislikes to be intimate with

Me: is super duper disappointed to not experience love/sex but is simultaneously doing literally zero to create opportunities cos I just don’t speak to anyone outside of my family and colleagues, and the one single guy I had any interest in at work is gay and has left.

Me: reads fanfic constantly and I’m now wondering whether it is beneficial in distracting me from my loneliness or enhancing it. I think both. I think I need a break from fanfic at the very least but honestly don’t know what I’d do without it cos it’s been my go to hobby for so many years and I legit read for 30+ hours a week and that’s soo much time to fill???

Me: really doesn’t want to have kids in the future cos I don’t understand kids in the slightest and pregnancy is terrifying and I still feel like a child myself and I know this is something which may change in the future but I don’t think so and my mum bringing up wanting grandkids on a near weekly basis recently is kinda starting to put me on edge cos I’m already starting to feel like a disappointment cos I’m an only child and I’m the only opportunity for grandkids - which I know is ridiculous but it how I feel and that’s valid

Me: with my grandad in hospital (he’s gonna be fine, he would be out of hospital if he actually did what the doctors and nurses said about doing exercises etc) it has made me think about the family I do have which is: my mum, my dad, my grandad and my uncle. That’s it. I have two other uncles and several cousins etc who I see maybe once a year but they don’t really count.

Me: has a handful of really amazing friends who I haven’t spoken to in months and I don’t even really know why. They’ve all messaged me and I just havent replied. I’m not trying to actively push them away like I did with a friend in the past who I just felt drained with in the end whenever we interacted, but honestly every time I get a message I just feel exhausted at the prospect of ongoing social interaction. And it’s silly cos I know exactly the kind of thing I could message people about to start a conversation, like I could talk to Emily about finally watching Hamilton and how it’s been two weeks and I’m still listening to song on repeat and how she was right about how good it is and yet it’s been a week and a half since I’ve thought about sending that message and yet I haven’t and just uggghhhh @me

Me: is horrified by the idea of being alone for life romantically, and knowing that between my ever dwindling family and me not talking to my friends that being alone if more likely that I ever want to think about

Me: wants to live a happy life of my own but don’t know how to. I want to move out but can’t afford to on my own and it’s super impractical when I can live with my parents for £20 per week for food. But god forbid if anything happens to one of my parents I’m gonna be stuck at home forever cos I have so little family and my parents have literally no one else to turn to.

Me: wants to do a masters in gender and sexuality studies writing about representations of asexuality on screen but I know I could write and entire book which would be great for phd level but I missed the deadline to apply cos June was crazy and all I’ve been doing recently is working 6 days a week then working on my car for a day before working another 6 days. And even if I did a masters and maybe eventually a phd I have no idea what I’d actually do with it? I have so little ambition for anything right now and the future is just a void of mystery in which I don’t even know what I want???

Me: is starting to think I might actually be kinda depressed. I’ve thought it on and off for longer than I’ll ever admit but I’d do quizzes online and they’d say I wasn’t so I didn’t really think too much more about it (and yes I know an online quiz is shit and means nothing but there’s no one I would want to talk to about it cos I feel like I have to be strong for the people around me and shit but yeah). I know I’m not happy, but that doesn’t necessarily equal depressed. All I know is I’m uninspired and I feel kinda empty. Doing stuff I do enjoy, if I actually do it, just makes me feel tired half the time so I end up trying to nap instead but then I don’t sleep great either, waking up in the night or when my dad is getting ready for work so I very rarely get a solid 8 hours of sleep. I’m irritable a lot too...

Me: even if I am depressed what does it matter? Like it does matter ofc, but my mum is on media for depression and it’s taking her weeks to get an appointment with the doctor to try and get a different dosage. I’m not a danger to myself or others, I’m unhappy, but who isn’t with COVID going on and there are people who need mental health services more than me. Which is really hypocritical of me to say cos I’ve told my best friend so many times that trauma and mental health etc aren’t competitions of who has it worse but it’s the truth. Also my mum and colleagues access the only mental health resources in town and I do not want to deal with interactions with people I know whilst trying to improve my mental health.

Me: I don’t know how many times I’ve said it in posts like this but something needs to change. I was set on a good course at the start of the year. I was getting out, socialising, doing new things, inspired to cook, learn to new music and change my lifestyle, and then COVID happened and since all of that has slowly drained away and I need to find a change to revitalise that. I’d hoped getting back to having driving lessons and working on my car would be a start, and to be fair it’s been less than two week since I restarted doing that, so maybe I can find a new spark of inspiration still. Within a couple of months I will pass my driving test. Hopefully it won’t take much longer than that to get my car finished and on the road (hopefully it’ll take two weeks to finish putting the rear end back together so we can finally get my car back on four wheels, then it’s just lots of little jobs which hopefully won’t take too long). The weather is supposed to be decent this week so I might work up the effort to go for a walk down the fields which always seems to relax me a little. And the cinema reopens at the end of the month so I’d finally have an excuse to get out of the house (I know COVID is not over and things should not be going back to normal any time soon, but I need to do something other than go work for 4 hours everyday and spend 90% of my time at home and most of that time in bed because I have nowhere else to go). I don’t know what else I can be hopeful for in the coming weeks but that’s a start and just listing them out here has made me feel a little better so.

I keep thinking about Patrick from Schitt s Creek, leaving his hometown to escape a life which didn’t fit him and finding everything he needed in a tiny town in rural Canada, and wishing I could do the same, but I know I’d just end up even more alone because I am not a social person in the slightest and don’t kno how to be despite knowing that me making changes is the only way to improve myself.

And then a line from Hamilton about death is easy, living is harder, and I want to make it abundantly clear that I do not in any way, shape or form want to die, but living is hard and I have an easy life. I have enough money that I was able to loan my dad the money to buy a car, and still have more savings after that than he does, I have a good that if not particularly well paid I do enjoy and I’m good at, my family live me in their own way, even tho I feel that part of my social distance and reluctantance towards others is because no one in my family is particularly socially inclined.

Maybe I just really need a hug.

I don’t even know where I’m going with this anymore but I just had so much build of of words in my brain that they had to go somewhere and this has turned into my go to word vomit place

Things will get better. I don’t know when or how but they will. But they won’t if I don’t get enough sleep for a starters. So off to bed I go. If you’ve read all this thank you, I guess, for listening cos I’m not sharing this with anyone irl just yet. And I’m sorry this is so long but tumblr mobile doesn’t let me put in a read now but I want this out in the world even tho no one will see it

[bluekayanite]

Comments/theories: In Dreams - Homeworld Bound

So I kind of missed the SU:F updates for a bit. ^_^;  That said, I'm caught up now, and have some misc. comments that I figured I'd share... before the next eps or two comes out. XD;

...That said, I was actually working on this when I'd heard that Homeworld Bound was out already. -.-;  It's on XFinity Stream, at least - and I suspect other streaming services - so I consider it "officially released."  I've since adjusted to implement the new info.  However, I'm making the comments in an ep-by-ep structure, so if you want to avoid spoilers, you can easily stop once you get here. =3

I'd also like to note that this one's more rambly than usual, so prepare yourself for rambles. XD

EDIT: Some adjustments, mostly additions. EDIT2: Couple more little deets. EDIT3: Few more MAJOR deets. XD;

Just a quick note: my current, primary theory is that, even with everything that seems to be glaringly obvious, White also has the power to alter Gems' memories and such, and Rose was not truly Pink Diamond (or at least, in a sense, not THE Pink Diamond).  Lately, I basically think that she may be a sort of a hybrid, or at least that Pink put a lot of herself into Rose... lately I've even suspected that it might be even more literal than I've previously noted... as in, Pink may have prepped some healing tears and broken off a shard of herself... or something. ._.;;;

But yeah, I figured I'd note this in advance because, well... I realize it sounds crazy.  It's going to be mentioned, so I ask for a bit of open-mindedness - or at least a willingness to entertain the idea, even if you think it's wrong (and I don't blame you if you do).  Frankly, I wouldn't be surprized if a lot of people would have already closed this post before getting to this sentence.  (That said, if you're still here, thank you!)

With that out of the way, let's get going!

In Dreams

Okay, so Crewniverse was definitely being self-aware, and using meta-humor. XD

I've commented here before that previous eps had a building feeling of listlessness and whatnot.  My sister also has commented (not in a place I can link XD; ) that the opening theme gets more and more jarring with each episode.  The both of us think that odds are pretty good that they'll switch to using something the reprise version of the theme. XD;  ("Here we are in the future, and it's wrooooong!")

...That said, while things have been getting intense (not to mention REAL!), I do appreciate that we seem to be moving out of "boredom" eps. XD;

The dreams-being-broadcast thing is more-than-likely a bit of setup for later story points.  I'm thinking "Emergency broadcast."

On an entirely different note, I like the confirmation that Peridot has green eyes. =3

Been sort of a headcanon of mine for awhile now. ^_^

Also, is it just me, or is Peridot getting taller? 83

Anyway, it's nice to have a bit of lighthearted funtimes in the midst of all the seriousness that has been going on. =3

Bismuth Casual

So... those toilet paper jokes certainly ended up being at an ironic time, right? XD;

Anyway, one of the things that stuck out to me is how increasingly obvious Pearl's obliviousness is.

One of my long-standing theories is that Rose saw Pearl more like a daughter, if anything... and didn't realize - or even have a clue that Pearl had a thing for her.

And I mean, really, if Pearl can't tell whether any human - or Gem - is into her, then how could she know for sure whether or not Rose did (or didn't)?  Odds are she's just going by her memories... which I strongly believe to be unreliable, what with how many contradictions they have. ^_^;

Together Forever

(...Does anyone else keep hearing the old Pokémon song by the same name in their head? ^_^; )

...Okay, I'm gonna confess: it actually didn't occur to me that either Steven or Ruby was supposed to be "cute" until it was mentioned in Hit the Diamond and Sadie Killer.  (I didn't count Andy saying it in Gem Harvest because I figured he had a family bias. ^_^;  I mean, he did make a complete and abrupt 180 about the parts of his plane being recycled, once it was Steven who started using them.)

...Cuteness is in the eye of the beholder, I guess. XD;

I guess I can see how Crewniverse was going for "cute" with Steven...  Still, about the only time I've considered "Steven" to be cute - visually or otherwise - was after that last bout of Ultimate Steven tag.

...Yeah, I think that the Gems did the puppy-dog eyes better than Steven did. ^_^;  I mean, I would call Steven "sweet," "silly," and a number of other things.  Just... "cute" isn't typically one of them for me. ^_^;

That said, there are moments when I think that Ruby is being cute. =3  One of them is when she RAEGING.

Another one is when she's being happy... especially when she's super-excited.

So yeah. =3  For me, it was pretty nice to see Ruby spazzing like that.  It's also kind of nice to see Steven eating sweets again... even if it's for unfortunate reasons.

...yeah.

It's also nice to see R+S's new forms. =3

The headband is back! 83

(...Why hasn't there been a mention of Sapphire being cute?  She seems like the most obvious choice. XD; )

On another topic... So it’s not just Pearls that can store stuff in their gems? o.O

Anyway, part of my theory is that [Pink is really trapped in the moon base's observation orb], which she can use to see some of what's going on.  When Pink is watching, the moon might show up, and/or the sky might turn pink (usually around dawn/dusk) - the more intense either of these things are, the more intensely she's watching.

Looking back at when either of these happen, I've noticed that:

She seems to be a 'shipper

She particularly 'ships Steven + Connie

This ep certainly continues with that pattern. 83  Heck, I think that the extra lights on the horizon might even be from Pink - maybe even intentional on her part.

Even after the turn-down, the moon still showed, BRIGHTLY - at least until Garnet got there.

I also noticed the moon at the end of Little Graduation - in general, I'm getting an impression that Pink has been wanting to help Steven... but obviously, she wouldn't be able to.

However, that said, with the way things are looking, I think that she's going to get her chance, shortly... more on that farther down. =3

Side note: The glowstick-bracelet “ring” is a nice touch. =3

Other side note: JAM BUDS REFERENCE! 83

Also: Strawberry. =3

Also-also: it seems like Garnet actually does tend to give some pretty good love advice.

"Your soulmate is your compliment, not your missing piece.  [...]  Whatever hole there is in your life, Steven, I want you to understand that Connie - Stevonnie - won't be able to fill it." - Garnet, Together Forever

...Also-also, my suspicions about Garnet sorta being three people keep growing. XD;

...Incidentally, I’ve mentioned before that I think that Connie is probably ace and/or aro (though I didn’t know the latter term at the time).

Growing Pains

On the funny (at least to me) side, I noticed that Dr. Maheswaren checked for Steven’s heartbeat on his right side (which, ironically, would be the wrong side XD).

There actually is a genetic condition that can flip the positioning of the internal organs, though I’m pretty sure that it’s simply an oversight in this case.  For one, Dr. Maheswaren shouldn’t think to check there unless she’d checked the usual positioning, first.  For another... it’s actually not the only slip up in that shot; Steven’s gem has a hexagonal crown instead of the usual pentagonal one.  (This happens a lot, especially on Quartzes.)  The biggest thing, however, is that Steven actually does grab the left side of his chest later on.

But yeah, just some stuff that I thought maybe some other people might consider interesting. =3

Anyway...

So it's FINALLY established that Steven has PTSD... and appears to be having panic attacks.  Frankly, for a long time, I was under the impression that nothing like this would ever come up. XD;;;  Call me crazy, but in a weird way, this is kind of a relief for me.  It makes things feel more genuine to me.

...Hmm... I wonder if part of why we haven't seen panic in other characters is because they're hiding their own PTSD?  Maybe the reason why so many are just carrying on is as a sort of coping mechanism.  Maybe the also don't want anyone to worry.

...Or maybe this is an effect of this being a cartoon. >.>;  I mean, as much as I can see that Crewniverse is trying to touch on a lot of hard topics (and I appreciate that), we can only expect it to be so realistic.  Plus, a good story needs a bit of balance to it - as nice as it is to see the worrying stuff, it needs a good balance, or else it tends to be overwhelming.

In particular, I've been reminded that SU:F does have a number of much-younger viewers - I think we need to bear in mind that they probably aren't likely to handle this stuff as well as the older audiences. ^_^;

But yeah, I'm definitely glad that at least there's something, and the reaction seems fairly realistic (at least as far as having a half-Gem character goes).  Even the fact that there was a delay is fairly realistic... maybe a bit more of a delay than usual, but... I guess Steven is half-Gem?

Also: cartoon. XD;

And of course, it's really fascinating to see the medical aspect of Gems (or a lack thereof).

And of course, the sneaking in of an Amethyst-behavior joke. X3

Also: you can see Steven's chart in two of the transitions. 83

(Assuming Dr. Maheswaren got his height right... I’m actually admittedly jealous that he’s actually taller than me - especially since it looks to me like he should be shorter. XD; )

Also-also: I noticed that a lot of things that had nothing to do with Steven's life being in danger got referenced. ^_^;  Granted, I'm sure they're still important to him, but I thought I'd still bring it up.

I also couldn't help but notice there being a direct reference to Adverse Childhood Experiences, which is an actual term.  I suppose Steven's are unusual... but whatever the form, ACEs can still be pretty impactful. =/

...I do wonder if Crewniverse knows anything about Childhood Emotional Neglect.  It's supposedly an even bigger impact than abuse and whether one recovers from it.  That said, AFAIK it's lesser-known - even the term was coined less than a decade ago (2012, if I've got my dates right).  It's mentioned on the list of ACEs... I think?  But it's not very well defined there, so... it's hard to know.

At any rate, it definitely seems like a thing that could be a factor... more on that farther down.

Mr. Universe

It was nice to see Steven and Greg getting some bonding time in... even if it was short-lived. ^_^;

Can't help but wonder whether or not Steven's eating a veggie burger. XD;

Steven drooling in his sleep... it's been a headcanon/theory of mine that maybe Pink does that. X3

Okay, so maybe this is a cute picture of Steven... now that he's more grown-up. X3

Anyway, It's nice to learn some more about Greg's side of the family.  Especially since - aside from the strictness - they really do seem like they're probably nice people.

I mean, for one, they still kept reminders of Greg - his stuff, pictures of the whole fam, and even his letters... even if they never opened them.

(...Is it just me, or does Greg's mom look an awful lot like Connie's?)

And based on their stuff, I think it's pretty likely that they at least have a gentle side... even if maybe they didn't know how to properly use it with Greg. XD;  (Or maybe they're simply an appearance-conscious family. ^_^;  ...Which is apparently considered a gaslighting type of parenting-style. =/)

In any case, I hope we meet them, later. =3  Maybe they've mellowed out... or maybe they will as soon as they meet Steven. X3

My sis pointed out that Dear Old Dad plays - as in, the song from the last ep Steven and Greg fought in.  Only this time, it didn't end out well. ^_^;  Quoth her, "That's some next-generation foreshadowing!"

But yeah, I can see why Greg might be so frustrated at his parents that he would want to change his surname. ^_^;  ...And I can also see why Steven would be upset at Greg going as far as he did. =/  Pendulum effect: being so upset by one extreme that you go just as far into the other extreme, and it sounds like Steven paid for it. -.-;

This is part of what I mean by Childhood Emotional Neglect potentially being a factor... though in general, Greg's hands-off parenting style could very well fit in as a form of emotional neglect - parents who are just kind of buddies and try to give comfort on everything kind of avoid a lot of the issues, instead of teaching their kids how to deal with them, including on an emotional level. ^_^;

But yeah, the fact that Greg apparently didn't consider whether Steven might still want some of the usual aspects of childhood seems like it could also count. ^_^;  At the very least, it's common for Well-Meaning-But-Emotionally-Neglected-Themselves parents to give their kids what they wish they had in childhood, without actually considering whether it's what the children themselves want.

It's also common for emotional neglect to be passed on through families in ways such as this, so... seems like it could be a thing.

Oh, and you know how Steven also had to be "the adult" for the Gems a lot?  That also counts as CEN. XD;  Heck, that link even mentions the need to care for others that Steven continues to struggle with.

The parts about Steven trying to hide his struggles would also fit in with CEN, though his knowledge of emotions - and vocabulary thereof - does seem to be pretty big.  I can't help but wonder if CEN is something that's being inserted in more as a retcon, but wasn't planned at the beginning.  I mean... CEN was just being figured out around the time that the original SU series came out, so it seems pretty unlikely that it was the original plan.  I could see Crewniverse trying to work it in now, though.

...It's also possible that it's not really what they're going for and that it's sort of included by accident. XD;  I mean, there's often more than one way to arrive at the same conclusion, even coming from the same set of information, at times.

But yeah, CEN is important to me, and it's nice to see that it might be a part of the show. =3

Fragments

Okay, so that first convo was chock-full of examples on what NOT to say to someone who’s panicking. ^_^;

And those are just a few of them. ^_^;

I think that this is probably foreshadowing, and/or a setup for something coming shortly.  More on this farther down.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm not the only one who was thinking back to Why So Blue? XD;

(Or, belatedly, Strong in the Real Way.)

I do think Jasper has kind of a point about learning to control anger by using it.  All-in-all, though, I think she's only about half-right. ^_^;  The parts about using it solely in violence... yeah

I see Steven’s eating fish, again. =3

It’s also neat to see him chopping wood with his hands. X3

...Not to mention Jasper’s new helmet. 83

It looks to me like Pink might have noticed some training, or at least may have been looking around the area.

...I suspect that she doesn't know about all the details, though. ^_^;

Homeworld Bound

Okay, first off, I think that Garnet may have said the family thing for Future Vision reasons - probably related to what the Diamonds said, even if she doesn't know that.

And now that that's out of the way, I was really glad to see Spinel again. =3

It does seem a bit weird that she's around as tall as Steven when she was shorter than him in the movie.

And I'm pretty sure that Steven's gotten even taller since the movie. XD;  Though maybe Yellow made Spinel taller...?

EDIT: I remembered that she probably wouldn’t be the first.  Could be a pattern.

Anyway, I also like the confirmation that Yellow's and Blue's powers seem to be about affecting the forms of Gems, and their emotions, in general - I've made a little spreadsheet (vaguely) touching on stuff like that, before.

Also, Blue getting a full song of her own.  Plus, the implications that Blue's powers are probably water-related. =3

(Who wants to try one of Blue's happy clouds? *raises hand* =D)

Not to mention Spinel doing the hammock hair thing. X3

*ahem* However... this is the second time one of the eps has felt like it's been full of Gems that are more-or-less hypnotised (the first one being Familiar).  A little too happy and/or nonchalant, and a little too conclusion-jump-ish. =/  (Especially Yellow for that last one. XD; )  Steven's even pointed stuff like this this out.

Which... White acted also that way.  If she really does have mind control powers, I think that this might be a sign that she's still using them, even on Blue and Yellow. ^_^;

Another thing that I think is odd is that the Diamonds were all taking initiative in doing good stuff.  In the movie, it seemed pretty clearly like they were only doing good things in order to try and please Steven and get him to stay with them.

White in particular was still disgusted at the idea of thinking of others as “equal.” XD;

They were even willing to move to Earth, leaving all those hurt Gems behind, instead of trying to do anything for them. =/

And yet, despite all that, Spinel in particular felt a little too weird to me (somehow XD; ).  A little too unconcerned about Steven's feelings, a little too relaxed and... blissful? ^_^;  She actually handwaved the "embarrassing" issue of having tried to kill Steven.

This is the second time we've seen something like this. =/

In a way, maybe Spinel's a little too close to her original personality, in general - as in, maybe less "healed" and more "reverted." =/

I mean, it's only been... a few months?  If I understand correctly?  Difficult thoughts and such do not just evaporate like that - ESPECIALLY if they're more-or-less intrusive ones. =/

And a lot of the time, it seems like her voice and intonation is closer to what she had with her original personality.  ...It does seem kind ambiguous, though I suspect that that’s on purpose. XD;

Here's what I think to be the kicker, though: you know the song she started singing when Steven asked how she stopped having vengeful thoughts?

It's the same song that Spinel said had said would NOT make everything better. XD;

"Just can it, won't ya?!  You can't just make everything better by singing some STUPID SONG!" - Spinel, SU Movie

(Incidentally, I noticed that the moon actually did show up - rather obviously - during said song.  Whoops. ^_^;  It looks like Pink has probably seen Spinel’s “evil” form, after all.)

Also... Quite honestly, the way Spinel mentions not getting vengeful thoughts anymore makes her seem... "drugged" to me. ^_^;

Possibly-similarly... this line seems odd to me.

For Spinel to tell Steven that White's powers work in reverse, she'd have to know:

How White's powers worked in the first place

That Steven knows how White's powers worked in the first place

I mean, I guess it's not impossible that White's powers are/were common knowledge, but... I dunno. XD;  It would have to mean letting Gems know that White could control them outright... and that White had used her powers on Steven's friends. ^_^;  I guess it's also possible that this was told to Spinel as a way of trying to bond over/help with the "tried to kill Steven" thing but... yeah, again, I dunno. ^_^;  If that were the case, it's possible that Spinel would mention it, rather than bursting out into song.

At any rate, I'm not ruling out mind-affecting as a possible reason for her knowledge.

So... yeah.  I suspected that White acted the way she did when seeing Spinel because Spinel knew (or otherwise had) something that White wanted to be kept hidden.  I kind of suspected that poor Spinel would get hit by White's powers pretty much right away, and to me, it looks like she did, and was placated a la mind-control. =(

Speaking of White... I'm guessing that the "pink-colored White" in the intro was actually Steven controlling her, or something. ^_^;

If so, then that's interesting twist on what's considered a "danger"...

...though that said, it looks like White managed to shed the pinkish tinge she had in the movie.

Now it seems to depend on the lighting, and is a fair bit fainter.

(Upper pic: purple.  Lower pic: brown.)

So... that said, I wouldn't rule out that maybe she found a way to keep the pink from getting worse - heck, maybe that's even one of the reasons why she's letting Gems control her, briefly.  Maybe it somehow keeps the pink from growing more saturated, or something.

So... yeah, while I think there's a good chance that the foreshadowed "Pink White" is already touched on, I'm not entirely ruling out that it might still be coming.  I mean, the theory that I was going with was that [Rose's gemstone had a virus in it], that Pink made specifically for White.  Possible circumstances to trigger the virus include:

Removing Rose's gemstone from whoever Rose’s child would be

Touching Rose's gemstone, in general

Trying to remove Rose from her gemstone - especially if from her child

Mind- and memory-manipulation on Rose's gemstone, in general

It's also possible that more than one trigger was programmed in.

Possible reasons for a virus include:

Trying to force White to learn empathy

Exposing White

In case the worst more-or-less happened

Prankage

Though yeah, if Rose's/Steven's gemstone really does have a virus in it, or something, I think odds are that White letting Steven control her is going to accelerate it. XD;

Also thought I'd note: while Spinel!White accurately reflects the colors of Spinel, Steven!White seems to better resemble Pink Steven than Pink Diamond, or Rose.

...Don't wanna dig up comparison pics, but I still thought I'd bring it up. XD;

Anyway, I can't help but wonder if there's some sort of deeper meaning to the scene with giant!Steven controlling little!White - like if there's something from Pink slipping in there, and her frustrations with whatever White did to her in the past.

I mean... Steven mentioned "everything" she did to him, and there were only flashbacks of stuff from Change Your Mind.  Which... yeah, sure, a lot happened in a short period of time, but... I still wonder. ^_^;

Aaaand it's becoming pretty evident that whatever traces of Pink are in Steven are coming out pretty strongly.

...On another note, the softer "Pink" hairstyle that Steven is getting might be a hint that the more-solid, five-lump "Steven" style that Pink is sometimes shown with is not her actual style. ;3

(My personal belief is that her appearance in Jungle Moon accurately reflects what she looks like - everything else is probably tainted by memory-alteration a la White.)

...anyway...

My guess(es) on what's next

Okay, I was previously assuming that Steven would first fight the worm-thing (which I thought might have been a mutated Jasper, after getting all that essence-of-Diamond in one dose XD; ).  I was also speculating about White having turned a much-more-intense shade of pink, accusing Steven of it, and a fight breaking out between the two (with a note that it might be a good thing that Steven's learned to better control his Diamond powers =D; ).

Now it’s looking like the “Pink White” may have already been covered... or maybe it’s still being foreshadowed.  Hard to say at this point.

That said, I think there's still a good chance that White will still try to follow Steven for one reason or another, despite his plea not to.  I mean, it looks like she may have genuinely been impacted by what happened with Steven controlling her... or at least terrified. XD;

She still asked him to wait, despite that.

Steven did leave his shoe behind, a la Cinderella.  This could be a hint about someone following him and returning it to him.  Maybe there'll be something about it fitting after he's calmed down? =3

Though... yeah.  Maybe letting Steven puppet her will result in her turning pink and coming after him for it.  Or maybe White will still try to follow out of more a compassionate reason - or just to “fix him, like she’s apparently done with so many other Gems XD - and Steven will try to keep her away.

In any case, I’m thinking that odds are that Steven will end up getting in a fight with What, and that it will end up being on Earth, at least at some point during the struggle.  If so, I tend to imagine something like this happening:

If Pink observes a fight between the two, it might be enough for the moon + sky thing to trigger in broad daylight.  If so, then the fact that there's someone on the moon who can turn the sky pink will be impossible to miss. XD  Even if it's not a fight that does it, I think odds are good that something like that will be how Pink being up there would be revealed, as well as working as a quick explanation that the moon + sky color are actually important.

If something like that does happen, then I think that White will finally fess up about messing with Gems' memories + thoughts and imprisoning Pink in the orb.  I mean... she'd basically be backed into a corner.  It also seems like she's getting to a point where she'd consider telling Steven anyway - just maybe she'd freak out and back out first, and/or the sky would beat her to it. XD;

I've also considered that maybe Steven's powers would get strong enough that he could be contacted by Pink in his dreams, anyway - they're not mutually-exclusive, so maybe both will happen?

But yeah.  There's plenty of evidence of a moon prisoner, and plenty of that evidence highly suggests that it's Pink.  I know I always say this, but I think it's time - maybe even well-past-time XD; - for Pink to be released.

A few possible roles of Pink (plus rambles)

Think about it: just about everyone that Steven knows - or is close to, at least - has been failing him in one way or another.  No one seems to know what's the best way to help him, or even fully understand just what exactly he might be going through - even White said that no one would be able to relate to him... but I don't think that's fully true.

Sure, maybe nobody could easily, and/or fully relate to the half-human thing, but I think there's a chance that, say, Lapis, Peridot and Bismuth could at least help with the "vengeful thoughts" thing.

But Pink, Pink could probably help with the powers, and maybe a few other things.  I mean, they're probably her powers - or at least a variation of them.  Heck, she may be even more powerful than Steven is. XD  If anyone could help Steven get things under control, Pink can.

Heck, maybe Pink even knows how to help calm down somebody who’s having a panic attack - or at least knows how to help Steven with his panic.  Given that nobody else seems to know about this, it seems pretty likely that it might be what Crewniverse is going for. =3  And hey... if nothing else, maybe it’s something she picked up just from watching the Earth for so long.  (I mean... if she’s really been stuck for 5,000 years, odds are that she’s picked up on a few things.  Not like she’d have an awful lot else to do, anyway. XD; )

I admit... it’d be a little extra cool to me since I’ve had the idea that it might be something that Pink would do. 83  Sort of a headcanon/fanfic idea that I never really got to or anything. XD;

But yeah, at this point, I think odds are good that Steven will more-or-less beg Pink to stay with him for awhile. XD

I mean... maybe they could ask Pink Pearl (I really don't like the name "Volleyball," sorry XD; ) about Steven’s powers, but I think she might still have too much trauma of her own over Pink's powers to really be able to help. ^_^;

...Though that said, I've suspected that White placated her, too.  If her traumas can still show through... I think odds are good that others' traumas will end up resurfacing - and thus being addressed - too. =3

...But yeah, it seems like White's MO involved making everyone just forget about things, and/or suddenly become happy. ^_^;  ...Another form of emotional neglect, I suppose.

I also it's possible that part of the reason why Steven is having trouble is because White did something to him. =/  I mean, if White really did remove whatever was left of Rose, then she may have removed an important part of Steven... and if she added something to him, it might be a big part of why he's so... unstable. -.-;

...Heck, maybe the reason why Steven's been getting white Diamond-pupils is because White did something to him. o.O  Maybe that why Steven!White has them, too, despite Spinel!White having black pupils.

At any rate, maybe the real Pink could shed some light on that, too.  ...And/or maybe White will fess up. XD;  I think the latter is much, much more likely in this case, though.

I do think that, once Pink is released, it's likely to result in a lot of chaos, on account of Gems learning that things aren't how they thought they were - just one of many reasons why I think that White has still left her in there. ^_^;  However, that said, maybe Pink could end up being a catalyst in bringing those problems to the surface, so that they can be addressed. XD;

But yeah.  Overall, I think one of her roles would be in healing... just like with Rose, Steven, and their powers.  I think she'd also be good for helping uncover the truth of what really happened, along with other things.

Could be ironic; it's Steven Universe: Future, but there might end up being a lot of looking at the past.  Granted, maybe that's the point: look to the past to better understand the future. =3

[randomminer]

HPHM MC X Preferred Ship Questions

Sorry this got a little long in places.

1) Who is your MC preferred significate other?

-Charlie Weasley [[MORE]]

2) When did they start developing feelings for each other?

-sloooowly

-Svari is aro/demi and the typical depictions of romance really make her uncomfortable

-Charlie is aro/ace and while he doesn't usually experience sexual or romantic urges, he does still feel strong connections with companions, in particular Svari

-Svari was the first to realize she may be drawn to Charlie in a way that's "more than friends", but where as many would become a blushing mess upon experiencing a first crush, Svari was terrified

-she didn't know what to do with these emotions and urges that just fell in her lap

-the only people she confided in were her Aunt Minerva, Penny, and Rowan

-at best, she was clumsy with her "flirting", much to her friends' amusement

-to make it worse, Charlie was completely oblivious to her attempts

-she tried shifting her affections to others, Barnaby Lee and Talbot Winger being examples, but her heart always seemed to pull her back to Charlie

-while Svari never lacked confidence in her skills and appearance, she didn't see herself as a worthy match for this young man she had become drawn to

-she had resolved herself to keeping her feelings secret and just being happy for Charlie with whoever he fell for and made him happy

-she tried to convince herself that that would be enough

3) Who confessed their feelings and where did it happen?

-Svari didn't actually voice her feelings to Charlie until well after Hogwarts

-it happened at the Burrow, at a small farewell party for Charlie, a few days before he would actually leave for Romania

-the two were sitting by themselves in the garden and Charlie was excitedly yammering on about dragons and his dream job, talking about a mile a minute

-Svari listened with a strained smile, feeling a bitter sweet ache building in her heart

-Charlie would be leaving and with every sentence, Svari could feel her resolve crumbling away

-midway through one of Charlie's rants, the dam finally burst and Svari basically regurgitated years of suppressed feelings into two minutes, a silent Charlie wide eyed and blindsided

-after much embarrassment, reassuring, and talk, the two decided to give it a shot and see where things would go

4) How long had they had those feelings? 

-while Svari had been grappling with her feelings for years, Charlie just kinda stumbled into it and thought "eh, what the hell, could be fun"

-the relationship would be slow, mostly long distance, and little more than hand holding and cuddling when in person, but both were content with that

-Charlie would set his boundaries and Svari would respect them. If either wanted to try something more, it was always with consent from the other

5) Where was their first date to and how did it go?

-neither was very keen on the idea of flowers, chocolate, and dancing under the stars

-they just did what they would do as friends...only now they were more than that

-in this case, they were packing the last of Charlie's things and had lunch

-Svari felt the need to give Charlie a gift to take with him to Romania

-after their "date" she handed him woven leather bracelet similar to her own, but with a poorly made dragon picture burned into the side

-he'd laughed, but was touched

6) What was the most awkward moment they have shared?

-definitely the first kiss

-it was the first Christmas holiday that Charlie had been back since going to the sanctuary

-the remaining Weasley family members and some wizarding neighbors were gathered at a magical pub for a neighborhood Christmas Eve party

-and cheesey as it sounds, Charlie and Svari got caught under the magic mistletoe that had been floating around looking for victims

-Charlie had noticed it first and silently gestured at it with his head

-Svari didn't know where to look, what to do with her hands, was stumbling over her words

- their relationship was still so new, she didn't want to make Charlie uncomfortable, and at the same time was overwhelmed herself

-so imagine her complete surprise when he was the one to gently pull her in by the collar of her jacket, plant a quick but loving smooch on her lips, smile, then got back to the party like nothing had happened

7) When did the curse gang found out about them?

-Svari had talked about her feelings before with her Aunt Minerva, Penny, and Rowan

-Bill has eyes, has been around them all through Hogwarts, and isn't an idiot

-everyone else either found out at Charlie's farewell party or through gossip

8) Do they follow the same career path after Hogwarts or follow different choices?

-Charlie, of course, went to Romania and worked at the dragon sanctuary

-Svari, due to her half-breed status, found it hard to hold a job and mostly stuck around the UK

-she did become part of a group who aid and rehabilitate half breeds and turned humans (it was through this group that Svari met and befriended Remus Lupin) her volunteer work kept her busy and happy

-up until after the Second Wizarding War, they mostly kept in contact via owls, fireplaces, and holidays

-while they would have liked to be closer and seen each other more, each had their own calling.

9) What song(s) describes their relationship with one another?

-"Another Night on Mars" by The Maine

-"You're My Best Friend" by Queen

-"Head over Feet" by Alanis Morissette

10) Do they have any inside jokes with each other?

-the amount of times the two of them and Bill have snuck into the Prefect's Bathroom as a group has become something of a joke

-"going to the toilet, Charlie? Should I grab Bill? Just like old times?"

11) Have they worked together with finding the curse vaults or do they try to convince the other not to endanger themselves?

- To Svari, there isn't a Hogwarts story worth telling that doesn't begin with the words "Charlie and I"

- finding the vaults is no exception

12) When did they have their first kiss? 

-see #6

13) Is either of them a member of the quidditch team? Do they root for their house or each other?

-at the current time in Hogwarts Mystery, Charlie is a seeker for Gryffindor and Svari is a beater for Ravenclaw

-they cheer for each other when they are up against other houses, but when it's Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw, they know loser wears winner's house colors the next day and winner buys loser butterbeer

14) Do they participate in any of the same clubs or made any of their own?

-between the vaults, Quidditch, and school? I don't see them being part of clubs anyway

15) Are they reserve about sharing affection or open about it?

-neither has a problem with public displays of affection, but their's are pretty tame in comparison to most of their friends

16) Have they ever had a fight? Was it small or big? How did they solve it?

-any couple who says they'll never have a fight isn't going to last

-fights are hard, but they help a couple grow

-Svari and Charlie are no exception

-one of their larger ones happened while Svari was in the hospital

-while trying to help a couple of half-breed teens who were quickly becoming involved in some bad stuff, Svari had gotten caught up in a battle between aurors and dark wizards

-she managed to get the two teens to safety, but had been hit with several spells and almost died

-she was in St. Mungo's for three weeks

-Charlie had come as soon as he could, but was very angry at the risks she was taking

-going into a dangerous neighborhood, that was a known dark wizard gang's territory, at night, with no back up, to try and talk sense into a pair of teens who probably wouldn't change anyway, was one of the stupidest things she had done

-they had tried to keep a civil conversation, but it esscalated into a loud back and forth about the dangers of both their jobs and the strain it put on both of them

-at one point, Svari felt her "other" form beginning to surface and in frustration threw a small vase of flowers at the wall by Charlie and told him to leave, which he did

-they didn't talk for several weeks, but both were hurting

-after Svari was released from the hospital, but not back to work yet, the two teens came to her for advice and options.

-feeling a wave of relief that these kids were going to be ok, Svari decided to ride the good vibes and go fix things with Charlie

-when she got to the Romanian sanctuary, Charlie was being treated for minor dragon related injuries (at this point I'm thinking it was what would eventually become the shiny burn mark on his arm, as described in the GoF when he first met Harry)

-their reversed positions was a good ice breaker

-they sat outside and just talked for hours

-they agreed that while the worry will always be there, it wasn't right for them to hold the other from following their path

-they would need to be more careful, because they both had someone who would be hurt if something happened to them

-after everything was said, Svari pressed her forehead to Charlie's and told him she loved him for the first time

17) Do they get jealous easy? And if so, who?

You tell me.

-Since Charlie wasn't one for dating, Svari never really had to battle with feelings of jealousy (except maybe with dragons)

-Charlie, on the other hand, would be supportive, but withdrawn

-this wasn't territory he was used to and he may not have entirely understood why he felt upset when Svari was romantically involved with someone else

-he wasn't feeling so much "hey, I love you, and want to be with you forever and always, that should be me with you"

-it was more like when your best friend or a sibling suddenly starts giving all their attention to a girlfriend/boyfriend and you feel left out, betrayed, and conflicted

18) Do they sneak into each other’s dorms without being found?

-not usually, there are much cooler places to hang out in a magical school

19) Have they broken rules to have fun?

-they have snuck into the Forbidden Forest so much that I think the prefects have given up trying to stop them

-"whatever, just don't lose us any house points...and bring a jacket"

20) Who is the most protective between them?

-they are both very protective of each other

-if the situation called for it, either of them would fight like hell for the other

[aroworlds]

Aro-Spec Artist Profile: Alex

Today I have the delight of introducing Alex, better known to aro-spec Tumblr as @arotaro and @mutant-jojos!

Alex is a bisexual, half-Puerto Rican multi-disciplinary aromantic artist and creative with severe ADHD. You’ll find her prolific fanworks on AO3 as EmeraldTrash666, writing primarily for the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure fandom. Her bold, colourful art for the JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Fullmetal Alchemist, Hetalia, Pokemon and Vocaloid fandoms is also available on Redbubble under the name StellaHagane.

She writes, she creates digital art and she dabbles in music, sewing and fashion design, single-handedly proving that there’s no such thing as too much creative awesome for any one aromantic!

With us Alex talks about finding the word aro, the power of fandom and creative fanworks, her love of aro Jotaro, the challenges of creating with ADHD, the struggles of being an aro gen writer in fandom and the importance of expressing our aro headcanons. Everything she says is absolutely on point, so please let’s give her all our love, encouragement, gratitude, kudos and follows for taking the time to explore what it is to be aromantic and creative.

Can you share with us your story in being aro-spec?

I guess in some ways my “story” starts out pretty typical. Got older, kept waiting for my First Crush™, never got it, started worrying and trying to force myself to develop crushes. I actually was in a relationship with another girl on a forum I was part of as a teenager, but eventually I realized that I didn’t really like her romantically, and the relationship started to become really unpleasant for me. I eventually felt so miserable that I didn’t even want to talk at her at all, even though we were close friends, but I didn’t want to break up with her - partly because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, partly because we were everyone’s “OTP” and I didn’t want my friends to hate me for ruining that. But eventually I did break up with her, and I’m happy to say she took it with grace and we’re still close friends today! (She’s ace and a great writer/artist herself, too!)

I was part of a very nice LGBTQ+ group as a teenager, but I could never figure out my identity. I felt really ashamed and alone. Whenever I brought up how messed up I felt because I’d never had a crush on anyone, everyone was like, “Oh, sounds like you must be asexual!”, but I knew I wasn’t, and that was the worst part. Even though I knew aromanticism was a thing, nobody ever talked about it. It was only ever in the context of aroaces, so I didn’t know I was aro. I thought I must have had some sort of mental illness or something, but certainly not a legitimate orientation, nothing to be proud of like everyone else.

During that time, I found myself connecting on a deep emotional level to characters like Alphonse Elric, Fujiwara no Sai, the X-Men in general (although I’ve been an X-Men fan since I was literally a baby), basically anyone who was somehow “different” from the rest of humanity, even though I never understood why, since I was a fairly privileged kid who had never experienced much bullying or anything. Weirdly enough, it was Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure that helped me realize I was aro and come to terms with it; I saw an interview with Hirohiko Araki, the author of JJBA, where he was asked what type of girls Jotaro Kujo likes, and replied that he didn’t think Jotaro liked girls. The obvious interpretation would be that Jotaro’s gay, but somehow, one way or another, I decided to go with the idea that Jotaro’s aromantic. Jotaro also happened to be a character I really related to for reasons I couldn’t quite articulate, so around the time I was 18 I put two and two together and was like ... oh shit…

Please click keep reading to continue Alex’s story!

Can you share with us the story behind your creativity?

I’ve always been weird in the way I’m very creative, but tend to kinda bounce around from hobby to hobby. Other people draw, or write, or sing, while I draw for a month, and then write for a month and sew for a week and play video games for a week, and then I draw some more, and then I try out something completely new, and then I write again. I think it must be an ADHD thing, idk. In any case, I’ve just always been really passionate about making stuff, whatever that stuff happens to be.

I’ve also always been very much fandom-oriented. Ever since I was a toddler, I used to dictate fanfiction to my mom (back then it usually involved Winnie the Pooh, the Powerpuff Girls, Godzilla, and my dog). I mostly draw fanart. I find that I’m not really capable of writing original stories, but I’m great at getting fanfics in character, and I love writing them. I love taking stories I already love and reinterpreting them, seeing what it would be like if the characters were put into different situations, etc.

Because of my ADHD, I really struggle with actually finishing things. I try really really hard, I really do, and I’ve been trying to push myself even harder these past few years. I’ve made progress, but it’s still extremely difficult, so I’m very sorry for all the projects I’ve abandoned over the years. Sorry I still haven’t finished the fic that was supposed to be done in early March. I’m trying, really. I promise I’m working on the next chapter of BLaD, too.

Are there any particular ways your aro-spec experience is expressed in your art?

Of course, pretty much everything I write is gen. Even if I include romantic relationships in my fics, I never write about romance, just stories which also happen to include some characters who might be dating someone. And obviously I always write Jotaro as aro! That’s really important to me. No matter which AU I’m writing, he’s always aro. (And autistic, but that’s off topic.)

I’m also not really into shipping because of my romance repulsion, but I ship Joseph Joestar and Caesar Zeppeli. The thing is … I’ve always viewed it as a unique relationship, sort of difficult to define as being strictly romantic or platonic or sexual, just kind of their own thing that defies words. That’s how I’ve always written it. I had the sudden realization recently that this strange view on the only ship I really actually like (at the moment, anyway) is probably due to my being aro, lmao.

What challenges do you face as an aro-spec artist?

People don’t read gen fics, and people aren’t interested in aro stories. That’s just the way it is. I do have some dedicated readers, whom I love deeply, but in general… I could post something with a deep plot, something funny and dramatic and witty and touching, something I poured my heart and soul into for months, and it’ll get very few hits/comments/kudos, while someone else could post the same generic 2,000-word romance fic everyone’s seen a dozen times over, with no editing or anything, and get twice the amount of traffic my fics do in half the time. It’s really crushing.

How do you connect to the aro-spec and a-spec communities as an aro-spec person?

I dunno… The aro community feels so small. Online, I have a small circle of aro mutuals who all kind of vent collectively, and I’m part of Arocalypse and a few aro/aspec Discord servers, but I still feel like there isn’t really much of a larger community to be part of in the same way that there is for other orientations. Offline, I’ve never met another aro, or even anyone who actually knows what aromanticism is prior to me explaining it to them.

I also don’t feel like there’s a very unified “aspec community”. As an allo aro, I feel very rejected by the ace community - not to say that I feel like I should be part of the ace community, since I’m not ace, but I feel like they throw aros under the bus a lot. I mean, we’ve all seen the “asexuals can feel love, just like anybody else! … oh, except for aroaces, I guess. But the rest of us are normal, so you should accept us!” rhetoric. Both within and outside the aspec communities, aros are rarely treated with the same priority as aces, even though we’re arguably in a much more difficult position than your average allo ace.

That being said, I’m glad there is an aro community at all. I don’t know where I’d be now if I were still questioning. Probably not in a very good place.

How do you connect to your creative community as an aro-spec person?

As I mentioned, there’s a general lack of interest in gen fics or sympathy for romance-repulsed people in general. It’s really difficult being romance repulsed in fandom spaces, because nobody cares about anything other than ships. There are very few gen fics, and even less that are a decent length, not abandoned, or cater to my specific interests, so I have to write my own. I don’t often have anything good to read; most of the big fics, the ones with cool plots and long word counts and ongoing updates, are ship fics. If I’m lucky, maybe two gen fics will be posted in one week, and maybe one of them will be longer than a few thousand words. Maybe one might even have my favorite characters. But usually genfics are few and far between, and kind of random in terms of what you’ll get. Sometimes I get so bored that I read ship fics anyway, and then I always wind up feeling really awful afterwards.

I’ve written, over the course of the past two years alone, over 20 gen fics. But whenever I vent that sometimes I’d like to actually get to read something, I always get someone telling me, “Well if you want gen fics, write some yourself! You have to make the change! You can’t demand people write stuff for you!” And of course, at the same time it’s totally acceptable to request ship fics from your favorite author, and if you complain that there aren’t enough fics for your rarepair, it’s seen as relatable and totally valid.

Fandom is just … really, really amatonormative, tbh. I hate it. I’m trying to make a difference (I did organize Gen Jojo Week along with my friend Rachel last year, and hopefully will again this year), but there’s only so much I can do.

How can the aro-spec community best help you as a creative?

Aside from reblogging my art and promoting my fics? Talk about stuff. Talk about aro stuff in fandom. Seriously! I know it seems obvious that aro people would like aro headcanons and gen fics and all that, but we need to talk about them more. Nobody outside the community gives enough of a shit about us to have aro headcanons, so let’s get them popular. Talk about your favorite aro headcanons. Talk about your favorite gen fics. Talk about how such-and-such character is totally aro; talk about how excited you are to see aro characters in fics. My dream is for aro headcanons to become just as common and popular as any other type of headcanon.

Can you share with us something about your current project?

This is old news to most of the people who already know me, but my current big project that I’ve been working on for several years now is Between Life and Death, a drama/horror/supernatural JJBA fic.

(WARNING: PHANTOM BLOOD AND STARDUST CRUSADERS SPOILERS BELOW.)

The plot of the fic is that Dio wins at the end of Stardust Crusaders, and after realizing that he has no hobbies other than harassing the Joestars, he decides to bring Jonathan back by sticking his head (which… we’ll just assume Dio preserved for plot purposes) onto Jotaro’s body. Obviously, Jonathan is NOT happy with this arrangement, but it also turns out that Jotaro’s still alive, just not in control of his body. He can still use his stand, so he essentially uses Star Platinum as a sort of proxy for interacting with the environment around him, even though he only comes out when Jonathan’s alone since he doesn’t want Dio to know he’s alive.

Basically, it’s the story of a depressed vampire and a traumatized ghost. It’s a very introspective fic; most of the story consists of conflicts between Dio and Jonathan, and Jonathan and Jotaro struggling to come to terms with their new existences - Jonathan being unable to reconcile vampirism with his personal morals, and Jotaro having one hell of an identity crisis while also mourning the deaths of his friends and family. The plot is picking up, though, and there is an end goal in mind, as well as an eventual sequel!

As for where the story-in-progress is at right now … well, the next “stage” of the plot is hamon training for Kakyoin and Avdol, which will be fun. This chapter also includes several dream sequences, including an extended appearance by Mary Joestar (Jonathan’s mom), and a very serious and dark scene which I almost ruined by having dream!Will Zeppeli refer to Jonathan as his padawan. Yeah.

Have you any forthcoming works we should look forward to?

As mentioned, I’m working on chapter 9 of Between Life and Death! And working on and off on some stuff for the mutants AU. Most recently, on a whim I rewrote the lyrics to Handbeat Clocktower by MOTHY to be about Jonathan Joestar. Somehow this went far enough that I’m making an actual UTAU rendition of this “parody”, and hopefully it’ll be done sometime in the next few weeks. I’m really having fun with it and I hope people like it!

[alloftimeandspacetosee]

King of Anything

This one was just... it was a very clear image when I listened to the song. It still is, tbh, every single time.

 The twins just. really are like that. They’re sixteen and have no shame.

 (Keone is basically their tour guide in this city, ze’s genderfluid and Aurora has a massive crush)

~

Arlette passed her empty plate across to the waitress with a smile before settling back, clasping her cup between her hands.

“So you’re saying – your performance, day before yesterday – that’s actually how you make money?” Keone asked, leaning forward now the table in front of zir was cleared.

Aurora grinned nodding. “Yeah, sure. I mean – currently it’s just like that, busking – we juggle and dance and sing, too – but to actually hit it on a stage would be so neat.”

“Plus you have your instruments, too.” Keone smiled, dipping zir eyes as ze took a drink. “That’s so neat, you know what you want to do.”

“Uh–” Aurora blinked, almost stuttering.

Arlette smirked. “Well, it’s kinda like a work in progress? By which I mean we’re totally making it up as we go along.”

“Yeah. That.”

Arlette glanced up at her sister, laughter in her eyes. Aurora kicked her under the table.

“I’m just saying is all. Don’t see many ladies like yourself in our profession.” The man’s voice broke in from behind them, loud and clear.

“It’s… we’re in gardening. It’s stereotypically–”

The twins exchanged a glance, and Arlette raised an eyebrow.

“Oh no, it’s much more than that, don’t you see? We’re cultivating a whole experience for anyone who stops to savour it. This is complicated science.”

Aurora twisted to see the table, just the other side of a railing from them.

The couple were sitting in profile to them, the woman with her arms folded and looking spectacularly unimpressed as the man leant forward, hands up to demonstrate something.

“I know, and back home we–”

Aurora looked back to her sister and thumbed at the woman, raising an eyebrow.

Arlette squinted and then nodded, ever so slightly.

“Oh yes, you aren’t even from here! You must let me show you around, we have some splendid flowers for you to take cuttings from.”

Aurora smirked, as she pushed her chair back up against the table, pulling her phone out to send a message.

“What are you doing?” Keone glanced between them.

“A flash performance,” Arlette said. “Be right back.” She stood carefully and made her way to the counter.

“I imagine it’s far different from anything you might have seen before, yes?” The man hadn’t stopped talking.

“See we have our licence for performing in the streets, but coffee shops are a little different.” Aurora put her phone away as she pulled her bag up onto the seat beside her, sorting through it.

The woman’s phone let out a chime, and she checked it. “Sorry, I’m expecting my girlfriend–” She cut off, frowning at the screen. Then she looked up and around, tapping out a reply.

“You’re just going to – do what?” Keone was frowning, one eyebrow slightly raised.

“You’ll see.” Arlette grinned, taking her seat opposite her sister again. “Ready?”

Aurora’s phone chimed and she checked it briefly before nodding and pulling out a tacky plastic crown.

“Do – do you just always have your stuff on you?” Keone shook zir head.

“Always prepared.” Aurora smirked.

“You go.” Arlette gestured at her. “Get the note right.”

“Oh.” Aurora slapped her hands lightly on the table, at a volume clearly meant to carry through the whole coffee shop.

“Oh.” Arlette echoed her, on a different note.

“Oh?” Alé looked between them.

At a different table, Warren looked up and then ducked his head. “Oh.”

Nyx looked up as well as Arlette leant back, tapping her fingers against the railing behind her.

At a different table again, as Aurora and Arlette continued the introduction to their song, Zlata and Ryun watched, with Hohen in the seat between them and Soise idly swinging on the chair beside them.

“Keep drinkin’ coffee stare me down across the table,” Aurora sang out, leaning forward to stare her sister down, “While I look outside.” She turned her sister’s head to look out the window, beyond a few tables. “So many things I’d say if only I were able,” she continued, letting go and pushing her chair back, “But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by.” She tapped her finger through the air, as if counting something.

The cafe around them had fallen silent, the customers turning to watch them.

“You’ve got opinions, man? We’re all entitled to ‘em.” Aurora stood, slamming her palms into the table.

Keone grabbed zir cup back before it could be upset, shrinking down in zir seat.

“But I never asked.” She swung her coat up onto her shoulder. “So let me thank you for your time,” she stepped away from their table and up beside the couple next to them, “And try not to waste any more of mine.”

The woman looked up, frowning at Aurora. “Are you–”

Aurora smirked, grabbing her forearm. “Get out of here fast.” She gently tugged the woman out of her seat, and the woman followed easily, smiling slightly.

“Hey, if you don’t–” The man frowned and reached out as if to stop her.

Arlette slapped his hand down with a rolled up piece of paper, suddenly sitting on the edge of the table right beside him. “I hate to break it to you, babe,” she sang, leaning in. “But I’m not drowning.”

“There’s no one here to save.” Aurora smirked, winking at Shae as she spun her around in the small floorspace they had.

“Who cares if you disagree?” The twins chorused, Arlette jumping back from the table to brush up against Aurora’s back, taking the crown from her hands, “You are not me!”

“Who made you king of anything?” Arlette dipped forward, placing the gaudy plastic crown on his head. “So you dare tell me who to be?” she whispered the phrase, smirking as she let all the levity drop from her expression, eyes flashing like steel.

“Who died and made you king of anything!” Aurora sang out behind her, unaware of her sister’s sudden seriousness.

The man wriggled out of his seat on the other side, slapped down some money, and ran from the shop.

“Let me hold your crown, babe!” Arlette called after him, spinning the crown between her hands.

There’s silence after his departure.

“So you don’t want the next eight verses?” Aurora smirked.

“Shame, right?” Arlette bounced up to sit on their table.

The other customers burst into applause about them.

Arlette grinned, waving as Aurora bowed.

Warren had his head on the table as Nyx laughed, leaning over to pat his shoulder.

Zlata was looking a little aghast, while Soise was grinning, clapping in delight. Ryun was faintly shocked, while holding Hohen back from joining them.

“So.” Aurora turned to the woman at her side. “Shae, right?”

“Yes…” she frowned at Aurora. “We met… a couple years back?”

“Through Ace and Aro.” She led Shae back to their table. “How’s the rest of them?”

“Sorry if that was a bit much, but you didn’t seem like you wanted him.” Arlette slipped from her perch, bringing Shae’s drink with her. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Shae took it, grinning. “Yeah, I came over for a conference and he… uh, thought I was a hanger on.”

“Lovely.” Aurora snorted, taking her seat beside Keone. “Hey, this is Keone. Keone, Shae.” She flicked her hand between them.

“Delighted.” Shae flicked her head, giving Keone a half salute. “How long’ve you known these two?”

“Not long enough to be used to that.” Keone laughed.

“Yeah, that takes a while.” Shae grinned, looking around. “You have other friends in here, right? The ones that are sighing at us?”

Aurora looked round, caught sight of Warren, and waved, grinning at him.

“He… performed with you the first day, though.” Keone glanced over at him.

“Yeah, only because we chose a tale he liked and because we kinda...”

“We were asked to drag him in.” Arlette smirked.

“And he’s still friends with you.” Shae laughed.

“Grudgingly, grudgingly.” Aurora smiled. “How long are you here for?”

“A couple weeks,” Shae replied, standing up. “But ah – I have to… move on, right now. Sadly. Being paid to be here and all.”

“Worth a shot.”

“Thanks for the save.” Shae clapped Arlette on the shoulder. “We’ll meet up some time, though?”

“Anytime.” Arlette grinned.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Shae smirked and left, waving a hand back at them.