#are we at the stage of friendship where i can just talk about characters sucking & fucking casually

[murphysiblings]

its so sad not having someone to talk to abt fictional sibling sex when its like , most of what i think about . i mean i do have ppl i can talk about fictional incest relationships & dynamics with but i never get Too Horny about it bc i dont want to scare them off

[lon3lystarr]

sugar sweet

•eddie munson x f!reader

•angst to fluff, “unrequited love”, both eddie and reader are seniors in high school, ik it’s march but let’s pretend that it’s still february!

•if you guys have any requests for certain characters to write about please let me know! i’ll do them, just remember it’ll be f!reader

As y/n felt the cold february air hitting her face, and anxiously waiting for the sound of the roaring engine of Eddie’s van she wondered how she’ll confess to the lanky metal head, the more she procrastinated to admit her feelings for him the more her heart shattered. Y/n has been friends with Eddie since middle school, she has seen him through his awkward, anxious stage of his life, y/n seen the moments where he was the most vulnerable, y/n knew all his strengths and weaknesses and still fell madly in love with him, seeing him grow into such a confident, carefree and loving man but…she felt like the best thing to do was to suppress all those childish feelings for him and continue growing the friendship they had, she felt like confessing to him would completely destroy everything and leave y/n with nothing.

Y/n dawned on how she’ll even tell him how much she loved him, she knew it’ll be sooner than later her emotions will get the best of her and she’ll slip up and tell him, it’s only a matter of time that she’ll see him falling in love with someone who isn’t her, and she hated how that made her stomach twist with disgust..it’s pretty selfish to feel like that but spending years yearning for someone you know will never feel the same way you do can make you this way. While y/n was deep in thought, she suddenly heard the booming engine of the beat up van coming towards her, feeling her heart racing with excitement and nervousness

“hey sweetheart, come in before you turn into an ice sculpture” Eddie said swinging the passenger door open from his seat, smile bright with a deep dimple sitting on his left cheek, y/n drank up the sight in front of her and made her way into the passenger seat and clicking her seat belt around her “are you ready for all the cringe couples tomorrow?” eddie said with a snicker “not at all, i don’t have the energy to see gross pda at 8am” y/n said while rolling her eyes “i know right, valentine’s day sucks” eddie said while pulling into the school’s parking lot “hey, luckily for us we can spend all day after school together wallowing in our lack of romance together” y/n said with a smile “you’re completely right sweetheart or maybe we can go on a-“ before eddie can finish his sentence jeff and gareth interrupted him with questions on the upcoming campaign they’re having on friday, leaving the words on the tip of eddie’s tongue and y/n curious on what he was trying to say but before they could’ve continued their conversation the bell rang, announcing that first period was starting, both eddie and y/n went their separate ways.

Y/n’s eyes kept shifting to the clock nailed to the old, washed out white walls of her biology classroom, each tap from her pen made her more and more eager for lunch, she just wanted to be in eddie’s presence, maybe it was her guilty pleasure but seeing his round brown eyes, pink full lips, brown fluffy hair and veiny ringed fingers became part of her school routine. while y/n mindlessly stared out the window the piercing sound of the lunch bell rang, making y/n rush out the door with her book bag hanging from her left shoulder to eddie’s classroom so they can walk together to lunch, while y/n spotted the messy brown locs leaning against his classroom doorway she quickened her pace but suddenly stopped…he was talking to jessica james, smiling and giggling together, she was the one girl who seemed to have everything that y/n didn’t and now it seemed like she was gonna take eddie as well, jealousy and anger hit y/n like a wave and she didn’t know what to do, she knew this day would come and knew that eddie will branch out and be with beautiful women who fit his aesthetic and personality but it just wasn’t fair, it didn’t feel right. y/n decided to just turn from the scene that was a few inches away from her and rush to an empty classroom to isolate herself and be with her thoughts..

at lunch y/n was nowhere to been seen nor found, one minute eddie was talking to jessica about how she’ll confess to his friend gareth and what gift she bought him then the next minute his girl was gone, vanished from thin air, he couldn’t shake the aching feeling in his chest, he felt like y/n’s absence was his fault, he felt like him not being able to finish the conversation with y/n that was rudely interrupted was the reason why y/n wasn’t there. he knew he needed to fix this, someway somehow, he knew he needed to finally confess his love for her even if he has to scream from the tallest mountain on earth his undying love for her he will do it as many times he needed to. he couldn’t let the tired-less nights of him building up the confidence to tell her how much he loved her go to waste, he couldn’t let the deep conversations he had with his uncle wayne go to waste, he knew he needed to confess but he has to wait until dismissal where him and y/n would be together and away from nosy eyes, he just needed to wait a few more hours…

y/n didn’t ride with eddie after dismissal, she couldn’t…not after seeing her eddie with someone else, not after seeing him and jessica being so touchy with each other. y/n tried her hardest to distract her from the heavy pain in her heart, she did her homework, she cleaned the house from top to bottom, she went grocery shopping for her mom, she did her self care but still, as night fell and the rest of the world was asleep y/n stayed up, tired eyes glued to her ceiling and the aching feeling still very present and painful on her heart, she knew it was selfish to ignore and isolate herself from eddie but she just couldn’t face him, she couldn’t handle him leaving and falling in love with someone else. as poisonous thoughts kept her up she heard a soft knock at her window, her heart dropped to her stomach because she just knew it was eddie, y/n stayed still for a second then heard another soft knock at her window then a wobbly voice saying “please y/n can we talk” after hearing this she immediately got up and opened her window, her reddish eyes meeting the sad brown doe eyes of eddie “sweetheart please tell me why you’re ignoring me, please tell me i can’t handle my girl being angry with me, i can’t stomach it” eddie said with a deep frown permanently painted on his lips “eddie it’s nothing, i just been feeling a little down and just felt like the best thing to do is isolate myself” y/n explained while her hands softly rubbed again his leather covered arms, the sound of him calling her “my girl” made her stomach feel the familiarfeeling of butterflies erupting “can you tell me what’s been making you sad? is it me? i promise i can fix it just please tell me” eddie pleaded for y/n to open up, even just a little bit “i just think that tomorrow is a day that seems to always curse me, it’s so depressing being in love with someone so deeply just for them to barley acknowledge how much pain they cause. i hate seeing people being able to confess and openly admit their love for someone and i can’t.” y/n explained, her eyes closed due to frustration and her voice wobbling with sadness “i know this is going to sound selfish but i can’t keep it to myself anymore, eddie please tell me you’re in love with jessica so i can finally move on, i can’t keep having this aching feeling in my chest anymore ” y/n said, the tears finally spilling from her tired eyes. the room fell silent, the tension grew drastically and it felt suffocating to y/n, for the first time she didn’t know what he was thinking and that made her anxious but suddenly his soft voice filled the stilled air “sweetheart, you will never hear those words come out of my mouth because it’s not true, she isn’t the one i’m in love with. she isn’t the one i wanted to ask out on so many dates but chickened out, she isn’t the one i dream about, the one i cherish, the one i’ll bleed for, the one i see myself marrying one day. she’s not her, the only one i see anything with is you and only you.”

y/n heard the sincerely in his voice, she seen the love and tenderness he had in his eyes, she felt how much his words really meant and knew he spoke the truth and nothing but the truth, y/n finally knew her heart belonged to him and his to her and she absolutely loved it. y/n couldn’t contain the happiness she felt and smashed her lips onto his, something she always wondered and always wanted, and finally having it felt way better than any imagination she created. eddie kissed her back, smiling so wide from joy, he got his girl, finally

“i love you sweetheart”

“i love you too eddie”

[1ddyfckr]

if  i  ever  seem  curt  when  talking  ooc,  i  apologize.

i  have  been  in     &.     out  of  the  fandom  scene     &.     tumblr  for  a  little  over  a  decade.     at  this  point.     i'm  at  an  age  where  i  don't  have  the  energy  for  a  lot  of  these  things  anymore.     i  am...     afraid  of  reaching  out     &.     forming  bonds.     i  have  realized  that  this  is  evidently  my  fault.

i  am  always  eager  to  jump  in  with  a  writer     &.     make  stories,  exchange  plot  lines,  do  rapid  fire  roleplays,  bur  it  always  starts     &.     ends  the  same  way :     we're  both  invested,  we  make  all  these  scenarios,  we  exchange  in  depth  metas,  we  share  videos,  images,  memes  that  remind  each  other  of  our  characters,  we  talk  every  day  for  several  hours  on  end  etc  etc.

but  somewhere  along  the  line,  i  lose  them.     the  other  person's  interest  dwindles  until  i'm  trying  to  light  up  the  spark  in  them  again.     responses  become  less  enthusiastic,  less  detailed,  until  all  i'm  left  with  is  one  word  responses  or  even  just  emoji  reactions.     until  one  day,  i  realize  we  haven't  spoken  in  several  months,  sometimes  close  to  a  year     &.     it's  not  for  a  lack  of  trying  on  my  end.     i  leave  detailed  plots  or  messages.     or  sometimes  just  me  trying  to  check  in.     &.     i  get  crickets,  because  by  that  point,  the  person  has  already  moved  on  to  something  else.

it  sucks.

what  trips  me  out  is  that  this  doesn't  happen  once  or  maybe  twice  from  the  same  fandom.     this  has  happened  in  several  fandoms,  with  several  different  people,  at  different  stages  of  my  life,  playing  with  different  characters.     logically,  if  it  the  same  thing  keeps  happening  to  you  at  several  different  times  of  your  life  with  several  different  people,  that  tells  you  that  you're  the  problem.     but  it's  frustrating  because...     i  never  quite  know  how  to  make  it  better,  how  to  fix  it.

a  recent  incident  has  also  led  me  to  the  conclusion  that,  just  generally  speaking,  i'm  not  really  likable.     the  other  person  was  apparently  looking  forward  to  writing  with  me,  until  they  realized  that  i  was  someone  they  already  knew,     &.     all  of  a  sudden,  i  don't  hear  anything  from  them  anymore.     &.     i'm  not  saying  that  to  get  pity  points  or  anything,  even  in  real  life,  i've  been  told  that  i  can  come  across  really  blunt,  rude  or  selfish.     i've  been  trying  to  adjust  my  behaviors,  because  i  never  mean  ill  intent,  perhaps  my  personality  may  be  off  putting.

but  again,  it  becomes  frustrating  because  i  don't  know  what  exactly  to  do.     what  exact  behaviors  to  adjust.     previous  experiences  has  shown  me,  apparently  i'm  likable  to  a  point.     but...     then  stuff  happens,     &.     suddenly  i'm  not  interesting  anymore,  i'm  boring,  i'm  repetitive.     &.     yet  i  see  other  people  acting  the  same  way  i  do     &.     they  don't  seem  to  have  the  same  issues,  regarding  writing     &.     interacting / roleplaying  with  others.     

i  just  don't  understand.

people  tell  you  it's  natural,  not  everyone  can  talk  about  the  same  thing  for  several  years  on  end     &.     yet,  i  can't  help  but  look  with  envy  to  those  that  have  these  strong  friendships  that  last  years  on  end     &.     they  can  indeed  talk  about  the  same  ships     &.     the  same  plots     &.     everything.

so  i  feel  stuck,  tired     &.     not  really  eager  to  make  new  bonds  because  i  know  it'll  end  up  the  same  way.     i  just  came  out  of  this  very  situation.     i  had  a  roleplay  partner  on  discord     &.     we  spoke  for  about  just  a  little  over  two  years  about  our  ship,  but  then  gradually,  it  started  to  dwindle.     they  stopped  reaching  out,  they  stopped  getting  excited  to  see  me,  they  stopped  checking  up  on  me,  even  when  i  would  still  do  the  same  in  return.     &.     the  crazy  part  is  that,  with  all  these,  i'm  never  blocked,  i'm  never  '  broken  up  with',  these  people  are  theoretically  still  my  friends,  but  whenever  i  try  to  reach  out,  it's  like  i  have  to  reintroduce  myself  all  over  again.     it  hurts  because,  i  may  have  been  easily  forgetful  for  them,  but  for  me ?     i  remember  them,  i  go  back  to  our  messages     &.     i  read  them     &.     i  have  them  ingrained  in  my  head  because  they  are  people  that  i  want  to  talk  with     &.     continue  engaging  with.     but  the  feeling  is  apparently  never  mutual.

so  this  has  led  me  to  where  i  am  now,  where  i  do  want  to  roleplay,  i  DO  want  to  interact,  i  WANT  to  be  happy  to  get  excited  without  the  feeling  of  dread,  but  the  pain  of  potentially  going  thru  the  same  experience  is  too  much  for  my  mental  health,  so  i  just  keep  to  myself.     maybe  i  can  learn  to  hype  MYSELF  up,  to  get  excited  over  my  own  ideas  i  stead  of  seeking  constant  validation.     it  would  be  so  much  easier  for  me  if  i  didn't  care  for  interaction,  because  then  i  could  just  write  all  the  fanfiction  ideas  i  have,  but  have  no  motivation  to  write.     

but  i  do  crave  that  interaction,  so...     i  just  think  it's  best  if  i  keep  everything  to  a  minimum.     thus,  if  you  have  tried  to  reach  out  to  me     &.     i  don't  seem  that  receptive,  please  understand  that  it's  literally  not  you,  it's  me.     i'm  just  trying  to  keep  myself  guarded  for  my  own  mental  health,     &.     i'm  not  as  diligent  as  i  used  to  be  with  messages.     inbox  is  always  open,  starter  calls  are  obviously  open  if  i  post  them  etc.     this  isn't  to  announce  that  i'm  changing  anything,  this  is  more  of  an  explanation  as  to  why  i  am  the  way  i  am.

thank  you  for  reading  xx

[stygiusfic]

hijacking this beautiful post, which is full of good insights, to add my perspective as a serial befriender:

✨️how to make fandom friends 101✨️

First, an important distinction that rook also made, because I feel it's worth repeating: a "fandom friend" isn't necessarily someone who will read/look at all your work/follow you through fandoms, nor should they have to be. They'll most often be people who happen to like the same characters or media, that you enjoy talking to and become close with (hopefully beyond that initial common interest). They can (and likely will!) encourage you to create whatever you like, but don't get sucked into the idea that their support is incomplete unless they read all your stuff.

Think of it this way: if you were an aspiring chef, and had friends who like food, you wouldn't (or shouldn't) consider their support of your dreams less real if they don't try every single dish you make. This is the same principle.

It's natural to want your friends to like the stuff you make. We all want that, and we're happy when it happens. But it's not something you can force or expect. (And besides, your friends' enthusiasm is a lot more rewarding when they don't feel obligated to give it.)

OKAY, NOW WE GET INTO THE MEAT OF IT.

This is, in broad strokes, how I've made about 90% of the many close (and not-so-close, and intermittently-close) fandom friends I've had over the past decade and a half.

Look for people in your fandom whose work you like (whether that's art, fic, meta, gifsets on tumblr, whatever) or who you think would be interesting to talk to. Maybe they like the same things you like, or you like their vibe, etc.

Tell those people that you like their work. Talk to them. The person who sent that ask was very brave in doing so and very kind about it, and I think that's a good attitude to have. The truth is you can't be friends with someone who doesn't know you're around. At this stage, think of yourself as someone who sees a stranger wearing a cool hat and says, "hey, I love your hat!". The person you're complimenting likely won't become your friend on the spot, but you've probably made their day a bit brighter, and they'll probably remember you for that. Isn't that nice?

Caveat: the compliment on their hat/fic/art is not a down payment to buy their friendship. The goal is simply to gift them a bit of joy in the midst of whatever else they have going on. (That is also, ultimately, the point of all friendships, as well as the point of fandom.)

Showing up often helps; repetition is key. This is why it's famously easier to make friends in school than out in the world: school gives you a place where you'll be meeting the same other people regularly, and you have something already in common with them that becomes a basis for friendship. Fandom also gives you a common link, so you just need to complete that by being around often. A lot of my fandom friends started out being people I admired whose work I engaged with often, because I loved seeing it and wanted to let them know.

Discord servers are great for making fandom friends, btw: even if you're not there 24/7, if you take part in conversations here and there, and you're not a complete jerk, often people will become fond of you over time, just by virtue of familiarity. That may be a jumping-off point for one-on-one conversations and friendships.

An optional step that I enjoy: like a cat that brings you a dead mouse as a show of affection, I like to make fanworks for people I consider cool. I'm a writer, so if I see fanart that sparks my imagination, I will sometimes write a little fic based on that and send a link to the artist. I don't expect them to read it or like it, though I'll be happy if they do. My intention is, again, to let them know their work has moved me; it's a more convoluted version of the "nice hat!" compliment.

And finally, an important caveat: sometimes an attempt at friendship won't pan out, and that's ok. Maybe you want to be someone's friend, but they don't want to be closer than casual fandom acquaintances. Or maybe you start talking to someone you admire, and then realize, "actually, I really like their work, but I don't enjoy talking to them very much". That's fine! It happens! Conversely, you'll also meet people you love talking to, but their work is not your cup of tea at all; in which case you can still be friends and encourage each other even if you're not engaging with the work.

TL;DR:

Talk to people you want to befriend. Be kind. Be thoughtful. Show interest in them, as creators and as people. If you hit it off, congratulations! You've made a friend! If not, respect their boundaries and don't push! Move on!✨️ There are other friends waiting for you ✨️

hello! how do you find consistent friends in fandom? as in, how do you find people who stick with you through different fandoms and listen and read your work. also, how long have you been writing for and how long did it take you to get so good at writing and character analysis.... your work is such an inspiration to me, genuinely one of my top 3 authors across ao3. i hope the writing goes well!

hey! this is really sweet, thank you very much for your lovely kind words. 💖

re: friendship: i don't mean to be a downer about this so i hope it doesn't come across this way, but i do think the concept of friends where you follow each other through all your fandoms and continue to read each other's work etc kind of... either doesn't exist or is just a rare phenomenon and not a 'type' of friend per se more than it is something that just happens out of luck. i am lucky enough to have friendships which have persisted through all of us changing fandoms, but the reason those friendships last is actually because we found connections that went beyond common interests. i think sharing a fandom/interest is great as an initial point of connection and a way to meet, but for a relationship to last, you need to have a deeper bond than both being into the same thing--so contrary to what you've asked about (oops sorry) those friendships im speaking of only last because we didn't follow each other into different fandoms, really. we didn't have to. along the same vein, i'd respectfully argue that it wouldn't be productive or fair of me to group 'reading my work' in as an element of friendship, so to speak--i definitely don't expect my friends to read my fic and vice versa, we all understand that we can support each other in our creative pursuits and lives in general / in the abstract without needing to be a fan of the same things or even necessarily being fans of each other's work (although of course it's always nice). i know this doesn't really answer your specific question but i hope it doesn't come across as pessimistic as it might sound. i truly and genuinely believe it's a positive thing that the idealised friendgroup traipsing through fandoms together doesn't really exist (or if it does exist, it's luck and not something to shoot for in itself), because this just tells me to look out for these great opportunities to form bonds that last beyond superficial interests.

in terms of how to make those friendships to begin with, im honestly even less help. my friendships kind of just happened to me. im actually quite terrible at reaching out to people and i am notoriously difficult to reach myself hahaha so honestly all the credit for my friendships goes to my friends for being patient and sticking with me despite that. i am honestly just very lucky in that i've been able to talk out loud into the void and have had wonderful people reach out to me because of it, but that's hardly a reliable strategy... i guess i'd encourage you to be more like my friends, who are the anime protagonists wielding the power of friendship to my prickly antagonist, or whatever. oh another thing to remember i guess is that some friendships just don't last this way and will stay within fandoms and may peter out, and that's ok. i don't consider those relationships less real or valuable for being less lasting.

re: writing: i want to caveat that i don't think i'm fairly able to say (or comfortable saying) that i'm particularly good at writing or character analysis, certainly not to an extent that i'd be willing to hold myself up as an example of it, but i really appreciate that you feel that way about my work and am incredibly honoured to be considered an inspiration in any capacity!!

with that disclaimer made, i'll do my best to answer for whatever it's worth. i've liked writing ever since i was a very little kid, but i will credit any actual progress i've made in developing the skill to writing fanfic because i think that being able to focus on building character and logical flow in plot progression over other things like creating characters, worldbuilding, inventing plots wholesale, etc--which has allowed me to sort of expedite those skills in particular and which i think are helpful in writing more broadly. (this also answers the 'character analysis' part specifically--when you don't have to/get to invent a character, you have to spend more time taking them apart.) anyway, i started writing fic about twelve or thirteen years ago, and there have been periods within that where i've progressed faster or slower depending what's going on in my life haha. i do think time played a massive role in any skill developments i've made, but i also know people take less time or more time to make similar progress (caveat again: progression is subjective, this is very approximate), so i think the other key ingredient besides time is engagement. if it's helpful, i went into that a little bit more here, but as stated i have a lot more to learn and would never present myself as an expert lol

[pandaspwnz]

I decided to watch season 3 of the witcher (the first 5 episodes that are out at this point at least) and by the time I finished it, I kind of forgot why I had been so hesitant to start watching it in the first place, aside of course the whole Henry Cavill leaving thing (and to clarify, I'm not watching season 4 and onwards because he's absolutely correct in why he's leaving, the show won't be the same without him, and the whole Joey having to write a 7000 word essay to get proper representation vis a vis Jaskier thing etc etc) because honestly I thoroughly enjoyed s3 so far! I did think the 5th episode was a bit.. or a lot 'meh'? But still. Then I remembered ofc that I'd been so hesitant because season 2 was ASS.

Anyway, I never watched Blood Origin, and after looking around the witcher subreddit and seeing that everybody apparently fucking hates s3, which I've concluded I liked so far, and also hates Blood Origin, I figured hey it might just be another one of those things where I would feel differently than the people who hate it.

So I just finished watching it and oh. my god. It SUCKS. ASS.

It's so fucking bad!!

Now I won't do what a lot of people have and go EUGH WOKE LEFTISTS RUINED IT or IT'S FULL OF BAD ACTING because what the hell are you talking about. First of all the only truly good thing about Blood Origin imo was the diversity. The most interesting story lines imo was Meldof and what happened with Gwen, I would have loved to see more of her story and her getting revenge, and Meldof was so endearing! I really loved how Francesca Mills played her. The humor came across as humorous, the grief was sad, and the weird goofy offball energy was delightful. I also think she did the fight scenes really well!

Also Eredin and Brían's story would have been so much more interesting to explore than what we got. Like hello? High ranking fancy schmancy general falls in love with a low born merchant? Even goes so far as to betray his ally for the sake of raising his lover in society, so they can be together without sneaking around? That's a classic premise for a reason! The reason being it's compelling and romantic! I love that shit.

I also don't feel like we needed seven characters. I loved Scìan and wish we had seen more of her life both before and after losing her clan. I didn't really feel we had time at all to get to know Brother Death and Zacaré at all, and even though I especially liked the actress who played Zacaré, neither of those two characters really made much impact on their own. I feel like they could have been condensed into other characters to make fewer stronger characters instead of many weaker ones. I also don't think we really learned very much about Syndril as a person, so if he had been combined with Zacaré, I think that would have worked better.

BUT I think every single actor in that show acted their heart out. They put their whole entire pussies into it!! And they did a great job with the material they had to work with. Unfortunately the material was bad (like jesus christ. by the power of friendship and also singing to calm the hulk like 3 times can we do literally anything else. Also everyone fucking singing the rose song like we GET IT but it felt so inauthentic and staged.) Also Fjall and Éile you knew each other for like 3 days calm down. There was no reason for them to fall in love aside from man meets woman and they are in physical proximity. I understand logically that they traveled together longer but it was SO rushed on screen. It was bad.

Anyway the costume design was gorgeous, and the makeup was as well. The fight scenes were nicely choreographed and shot. The effects were pretty good overall, I think!

But the pacing was bad, the script was bad, the dialogue was bad, it was bad. Beautiful but bad.

[h-worksrambles]

So I was getting caught up with Keith Ballard’s Echo LP. And in his most recent video he floated an idea about the Echo characters (specifically the five route characters) each embody one of the five stages of grief, given that the story is centred around how the traumatic loss of Sydney affected them all. And now I think on it, I actually think that it legitimately works. Full spoilers for the game below:

TJ is Denial. He’s nice to a fault, a beacon of sunny optimism, but we know from as early as the prologue that he had serious anxiety problems, rooted in the fact that he apparently saw Sydney drown. He masks his issues with positivity. And as we learn in his route, he’s repressing his memories of what he saw the day Sydney died. He hides the truth of what he knows both because he’s blocked out the memory and because when he tried to talk about it no one believed him.

Flynn is Anger. His grief for Sydney, who he was closest to out of the group, manifests as bitterness and resentment towards his other friends. He blames them for apparently not caring that Sydney died and lashes out at them in outbursts. It’s fitting then that one of his endings is to become a demon who observes and punishes people, becoming a creature of wrath and vengeance.

Leo is Bargaining. He desperately wants to keep things the way they used to be. He wants Chase back, so badly, in fact, that the town mocks him with a ghost of the guy that Leo becomes unable to discern from the actual person. He wants to go back to the good old days where things made sense to him. He wants his old friends around for familiarity’s sake, even if he doesn’t put the work in to maintain those friendships (see how he’s happy to have Carl around in Echo, but never bothers to remain in contact with him). He just wants the comfort of them being there so he can pretend things are normal.

Carl is Depression. He spends most of his time in his room feeling aimless. He’s actively unhappy being stuck in this rut, but can’t find the motivation to change, and gets anxious when people try to force him out of his coping mechanisms. Most people around him write him off as lazy, not realising how genuinely unhappy he is with himself under the surface.

Jenna is Acceptance. Between the death of Sydney, and her abuse at home, her life has sucked from start to finish. Until she made the choice to get out. Now she just wants to move and be done with it. She doesn’t wanna dwell on it anymore. She just wants to not think about it and get on with her life. But as we learn in her route, she’s not as over it as she thinks she is, and still carries a lot of deep rooted resentment. Her whole route becomes a story about acceptance in the aftermath of trauma and funding closure, which is reflected in her conflict with Heather.

Obviously there’s far more going on with each of these characters than just that. But it makes for an interesting framework to view them through.

[shirophantomvox]

Analyzing Illumi Zoldyck's Character

Chrollo Analysis | Hisoka Analysis | Killua Analysis

What’s up y’all! Sorry for being away for the last few days. I needed a break from social media because I am so tired of seeing toxic, self-righteous people on my TL. Anyway, quite a lot of you liked my posts about analyzing HxH characters and somehow comparing them to VLD characters. Today, I’ll be talking about Illumi Zoldyck and I’ll try to compare him to a Voltron character. I know many people have already analyzed this character before, but it wouldn’t hurt to add to the discussion some years later. If you want me to write about anything else, send me an ask! The formatting of this post may be different than the one I wrote about Hisoka Morrow (click his name to view that post).

HERE WE GO!

In the first season, all of the characters are contestants for the Hunter’s Exam. I say contestants because this is a contest to see who can win without any injuries and can keep up with each host. I forget what number stage they were at, but I do know they were at the stage where each opponent has to fight each other. They are declared the winner if their opponent forfeits or gives up mid-match. (Off-topic, but) I am going, to be honest; Gon was my favorite character but his flaws began to show, annoyed me, and later led to his horrific downfall (based from YouTube clips). He didn’t know when to stop and kept pushing himself over the limit. Anyway, Killua and Gittarackur are set to fight. This is when things take a turn for the worse.

Gittarackur is a form of a disguise for Illumi to mask his identity. His face is long; nearly (and reminds me of) in the shape of a Tiki. His face also reminds me of the Witch Doctor mask from Scooby-Doo and Hell-raiser. He has several pins stuck in his face to maintain the facial features of Gittarackur. On the flip side, if he removes the pins, his biological form is revealed. Once he does this, Killua is nearly paralyzed; he cannot believe his eyes and I’m sure the trauma he endured at home hit him like a sack of rocks. Illumi then tells Killua that he wants him to return home, that he cannot maintain a friendship with Gon, stated that he was going to kill Gon, but realizes that if he does so he will be disqualified and will not obtain his Hunter’s license.

I’m assuming the cops aren’t a thing in this reality and the only way for them to “destroy” under the law is by obtaining the license. What do you think? I rarely see police officers; all I see are the Mafia and every they suck compared to the Zoldyck's and the Phantom Troupe. Shit, it seems like they’re the police but have twisted motives.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a fictional character or not, first impressions matter and he bombed this one...even for a villain.

But you did this for what?

How can you hypnotize (by using Nen) your own brother into killing another opponent because he doesn’t want to become an emotionless zombie like you? At least, that’s my perception. Telling your brother to run every time he faces an opponent that he knows he cannot win against is the sickest shit I’ve ever seen. I know I’m jumping around but another thought popped into my head. As the seasons go on, Illumi expresses an odd way of loving his younger brother and to him, that means to make him suffer in the same way he had to. It seems like Illumi is jealous of Gon in a way. (I’ve seen clips on YouTube) Killua takes Alluka to the hospital to heal Gon. Illumi has stated several times to Hisoka that Killua was hiding rules from him and that he still wanted to get rid of Alluka. Although it is clearly stated why he wanted Alluka gone, I still think that Illumi was jealous of Gon simply because his younger brother preferred to be with a friend instead of him. This is why he emphasizes “You cannot have friends. Either they will betray you or you’ll betray them.”

As I read and watched as the seasons went on, I noticed something about Illumi and his family. We all know that the children were raised by their parents. Specifically, their dad is a trained assassin. I can’t remember but I think Zeno is their grandfather who is also an assassin.

I view him as a character that has suffered from abuse and trauma in order to mold him into an assassin. He is emotionless, doesn’t really care for others, has an odd relationship with Killua that he doesn’t have for his other siblings, and is a hypocrite. Killua can’t be friends with Gon but every time the show cuts to him, he’s with Hisoka? Something is fishy there. Are they more than friends? OK, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. Here's the physical analysis below.

Face

When masquerading as Gittarackur, his face has several pins in them and his hair is in a rock star form of Mohawk that is purple. I’ll give him 10/10 for uniqueness, yet it still reminded me of Hell Raiser.

I’ve noticed that when he is in public he is in costume. Why doesn���t he reveal himself in public? I’ve researched this and no one could answer this question. My guess is that he is a verified hunter and assassin. How can you carry out your missions if everyone knows what you look like? Without the pins in his face, it reverts back to his natural state. To me, his large eyes and long, shiny black hair are his distinguished features. Although he may be my least favorite character, he does have pretty eyes. Haven’t you all heard of “I got lost in his/her eyes”?

Yeah, that can be said about him. Most definitely. He rarely smiles and when he does, something BAD is going to happen. I saw him laugh crazily once Alluka began the healing process, the Nen (I guess) rose from the hospital and got on him. This scene reminds me of how Haggar reacted once the Komar’s quintessence bounced from Voltron and bounced onto her. Wow, these supernatural abilities make y’all feel that good?

Clothes

Gittarackur and Illumi wear the same clothes, which should be a clear giveaway that they are the same. Illumi wears a neural green short jacket that has yellow pins in them, a light green shirt underneath, and green pants. His shoes remind me of loafers with a heel on them, something my grandmother would wear.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say again, these bad-ass men in this show are very stylish and seem to be in shape more than I am. Although Illumi irks me, his fashion is great and this is why people prefer him to be their favorite character. Shows should always produce characters that are memorable; that is the key to a long-lasting fan base.

In conclusion, this anime (for the most part) has well-rounded characters that make the plot interesting and wanting more.

Illumi and Lotor are somewhat similar. They both grew up in abusive households and lost some sense of sensitivity, common sense, and were often “misguided” by their own selfishness. Illumi wants a better life for Killua by constantly brainwashing him into thinking that he cannot have friends and his can only find happiness through killing. Zarkon raises Lotor to be a prince that shouldn't work with planets and should destroy them. This explains why he used deceased Alteans from the colony, drained their quintessence, and didn't give them a proper burial. Lotor IS just like his father but Killua IS NOT like Illumi. Ironic, huh? As we all know by now, Lotor is the son of Honerva (Haggar) and Zarkon. After the rift accident, he became an emotionless, ruthless monster that colonized and destroyed planets just to gain their quintessence. He taught this to his son and once he was old enough to think for himself, he refused to act in such a way. Although he was exiled and said he wasn’t like Zarkon, he was; but worse. Lotor studied and gained knowledge about Altea and its people while using Allura to gain the secrets of Oriande. I say he used her because he knew from the moment he met her that he was harvesting Altean quintessence. While fighting the white lion, he yelled “Victory or Death” which is a common catchphrase the Galra use when they are in battle. In fact, the Galra have been victims of trauma from Zarkon. Zarkon’s ruthless ways of ruling had no other motive except for obtaining quintessence so he could live forever. Silva’s way of raising his children was done to mold them into assassins. Since he was taught this way he did the same thing to his children. Zarkon, Silva, and Zeno think that their ways of parenting are necessary for survive in life when it doesn’t have to be that way. Illumi and Lotor have experienced this horrific parenting and deal with it in different ways. Illumi is oddly obsessive of his younger brother and Lotor is a fucking liar.

This analysis was fun! Next, I’ll be analyzing Killua and Keith Kogane.

If you’d like to see more posts like this, send me an ASK!

[thelostgirl21]

I know, I've noticed your tags, and I've never shipped the actors together, nor was my comment intended to imply that they should become romantically involved IRL.

I was very careful to write "the way he plays Radovid made Jaskier genuinely laugh, and all Joey had to do to play that relationship with him was get into character, and let Hugh do all the work of making Jaskier become utterly smitten with Radovid…" to make it 100% clear that whatever is romantically happening on screen remains between their characters, not themselves.

But these two artists are obviously huge fans of each other's work, approach to acting, the way they portray their characters, and the relationships between their characters.

Actors can be huge "shippers" of their own characters' romance (I'm looking at you, Matthew Daddario!) and start fanboying rather hard about that ship themselves.

Judging by their interviews, Joey, especially, seem very excited re: the direction Jaskier and Radovid's romance is going, and the two of them appear grateful that they found the acting partner to portray that relationship with that they did.

I get that way when I talk about my (belly)dance partners. Some of them are absolutely amazing, and Marielle and I - especially - discovered that we tend to pay attention to the same musical elements of a song, so I tend to be able to move with her in a way that is more synchronized than anyone else.

I also get this kind of deep connection and awareness of each other's bodies and position on stage that I don't typically get with others (I often feel like I'm paying more attention to their movements than they are listening to mine); to the point where we can anticipate each other's movements and support each other throughout our dance.

We've got tons of chemistry on stage (and off stage), and she's also a wonderful friend IRL. We share many of the same passions. I found out, early in our friendship, that she grew up with parrots like I did (so, she became the godmother of my parrot, and the person I would trust him the most with), and she's be absolutely great in a lift, too, because being stuck with her in a small closed off space for 24 hours would be totally fine!

Well, we might get hungry and need to pee at some point, but otherwise, yeah. It wouldn't feel like 24 hours and we'd probably still have things to tell each other when the doors finally opened!

And when you get that connection with someone - especially a creative one - you can easily get lost into your own world and interests when there are others around.

We've had our dance teacher/troupe leader threaten to separate the two of us in class and during rehearsals, at times (mostly humorously), because we just start bouncing ideas off each other, suggesting new elements to the costumes or group performances, etc.

And the way that Joey and Hugh have been talking about their own experience working together, and complimenting each other, etc., makes you wonder what would happen if you just put them in the same room together and allowed them to directly start talking about about their characters and those characters' relationship on screen together.

Rather than, you know, collecting their opinions individually.

Because if you put Marielle and I in the same room, and let us talk about that "Requiem for a Harlequin" (inspired from the "Poets of the Fall" videoclip) project we're currently working on - where we'll be dancing with a pair of fanveils, and an umbrella (I've never attempted choreographing anything with an umbrella, so I'm really excited about that!) - the ideas we've had for costumes, the inspiration for some of our movement combinations, etc.

We'll likely wind up forgetting you exist, and get sucked into our own shared creative "happy place", totally engrossed into our own crazy world of ideas!

And I'm not insulted that people enjoy poking fun at us re: the way the world just appears to stop existing when you let us sit together somewhere, because we really do get pretty intense about it, and the chemistry is real!

Chemistry is about two people whose brains seem to immediately connect, and the communication between them flow effortlessly in a way that is noticeable for people outside as well, as soon as you put them together in the same room.

You can sometimes feel it, even when one of them is missing, just by the way the other person speaks about their friend/artistic partner.

But, just because the chemistry between two actors is used to portray romance on screen, doesn't mean that the chemistry between them IRL would have to translate as anything romantic.

Hence why I added the word interpersonal chemistry in the way I phrased it.

And this was pretty much a "crack theory" (yours is the serious and likely accurate one) meant to highlight how adorable and wholesome the way Joey and Hugh are literally gushing about each other's talent, support, kindness, etc., all the time is (especially as it reminds me of some of my own friendships with people I share artistic endeavors with).

So yeah, maybe I do "ship them" a bit. Same way I ship myself with Marielle, and Julie, and Isabelle, and Mélissa, and some of the other wonderful girls that are a part of my dance tribe, and I am lucky enough to share a stage with from time to time.

But I really don't think that Joey and Hugh should "fall in love" with each other just because their characters do! That's not at all what I was implying here, and I'm a bit troubled if this is what it came across as...

It’s a shame there is no interview with Joey Batey and Hugh Skinner together? At least all the interview gifs I saw have them separate:/

[dalishious]

Recently I've stumbled upon this article and it blew my mind: https://levelskip.com/rpgs/Dragon-Age-Origins-How-I-Eventually-Found-Alistair-Insufferable

What's your opinion? My mind was blown away when I saw interpretation of elves being fetishised by Alistair. This character interpretation is so superficial it's almost painful. No wonder people tend to dismiss Ali as being whiny and childish if even someone who romanced him (!) isn't even trying to read him properly.

Anyway I vehemently hate this article and here’s everything I hate about it.

���He was Always Crying!”

I think it’s really gross that the first thing this writer lists as hating about Alistair is that he grieves for Duncan, calling it “over the top dramatic.” Ignoring the incorrect statement that he knew Duncan for only a few months, (Alistair states plainly that he was with the wardens for a year before the PC joins), even if it was only a few months, time does not necessarily play into the impact someone has on your life. (Or for that matter, personal interactions--for example, there is nothing strange about grieving the loss of an actor that touched your life with their work.) And Duncan made a huge impact on Alistair’s life.  Look, I work in hospice palliative care and grief/bereavement is a huge part of what we do. What this writer says is extremely ignorant, inappropriate and disrespectful to people who grieve as Alistair does; which is a lot of people. Not to get into all this now, but I could easily write a whole thing on how his character follows the common “stages of grief” in a very realistic way. (“Stages of grief” is in quotations, because while this was a classic way of looking at how grief works, more modern understandings explain grief as something that does not have a set trajectory, but rather more like a tide of different emotions that comes in and out at varying sizes and varying times.)

“Love is not conditional; it is unconditional.”

Love is, actually, conditional. Alistair is under no obligation to continue a relationship with a warden that makes a decision he is fundamentally against. Alistair does not see Loghain as a “valuable ally,” and you cannot blame him for that; not after everything Loghain has done. If your character’s opinion is otherwise, that’s their decision to make, but frankly this reeks of complaints usually put on female characters; when players hate that characters have their own agency and opinions, not dutifully following every single decision made by the PC. I cannot imagine how boring an RPG would be, if there were never any consequences or different reactions to your decisions.

“This alone made me start turning Alistair into a wandering drunk. He deserves it.”

What a disgusting, disgusting sentiment. “My boyfriend left me so he deserves to be homeless and suffering from alcoholism.” Fuck you.

“Alistair's romance—as well as his friendship—is superficial because it relies on the condition that the Warden always do exactly what he wants.”

Yeah, that’s how the approval system works. It’s not a unique game function just for Alistair. If you want to be friends with a character, you try to gain their approval. If you don’t, then they will dislike you.

You know, like how real life relationships work.

Again, this is sounding more and more like this person is just mad that Alistair has his own opinions, beliefs and morals... character.

“If Alistair really loved the Warden, he would have sucked it up...”

Seriously, what kind of fucked up understanding of relationships does this person have?!

 “Alistair is a Tad Racist”

God, where do I even begin with this one...

Alistair is excited about sleeping with any warden, regardless of race; not just elves. He’s a nervous virgin.

Alistair makes a comment about hoping he won’t get mugged in the alienage--just like how all the other companions make negative comments, even Zevran--after witnessing a mugging. It is part of a larger picture painted for the player that should be criticized at that larger scale.

I have no idea what the fuck this writer is talking about, claiming Alistair hates Zevran because he’s an elf, when he makes it crystal clear he does not trust Zevran because he’s an assassin. Like, in multiple conversations and banters.

Yeah writer, you are wrong--Alistair grew up primarily in Redcliffe, though stayed in Denerim when Eamon travelled there. You are also wrong about “the elves were servants who had to smile and kiss his ass.” Alistair plainly states that he did not grow up with any special treatment. Hell, he more likely stated with the servants, when Eamon had him sleeping in the stables and kennels.

“Unfortunately, Alistair is the exact same way toward mages.”

I can somewhat agree with this part. However, a couple necessary corrections to false statements:

Alistair does not approve of you killing the mages in Broken Circle. As the writer says later, he interjects if the player tries to attack Wynne, and interjects if the player agrees to Cullen’s request to kill everyone. “That's a bit of a drastic measure, isn't it? You don't have to do this.” What he initially says when entering the Circle is not him advocating for an annulment, but him explaining that’s what templars do. He is audibly upset about it when saying this. It is not what he wants.

Alistair does not hate mages. He distrusts mages, which makes sense after his templar training, and it’s something he needs to work over.

“Putting a mage or an elf or even a dwarf on the Fereldan throne might have made Fereldans hate Alistair as their king, but it would have been the beginning of a new era in Thedas.”

Yes, this part I do agree with as well.

It does, however, not weigh enough to make up for all the inappropriate and incorrect parts of the rest of the article.

But you know what’s worse? What’s worse is I made the mistake of looking at this writer’s profile, and finding shit like this:

[cocosstories]

Sebastian Stan One Shot

Hi there! I was wondering if you could write something with Seb and reader where they like each other but they're not dating yet. They are at SDCC doing a panel and a couple of members of the cast start teasing them about it, and Seb plucks up the courage to finally ask her out.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage Chris Evans, Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan and Y/F/N Y/L/N!"

The crowd at the San Diego Comic Con went crazy as you and your Avengers costars made your way onto the stage and took your seats, you sitting between Chris and Sebastian.

"Welcome everyone! Thank you for joining us today!"

As usual actor and director Kevin Smith was mediating the panel.

"Thank you for having us!"

Chris says as the crowd screams for Captain America.

"Well, Y/N, you are back as Bella Stark right? How was it stepping back into the character?"

The questions start out pointed at you.

"Its wonderful! I love playing Bella and learning all of the new things about her past."

"How is it working with Sebastian? Even for Marvel, you two have some pretty steamy scenes together."

The crowd goes wild, Bucky and Bella were a fan favorite relationship in the MCU.

All four men turn to you, Mackie and Evans both smirking.

"Seb and Y/N don't really have an issue when it comes to chemistry."

Chris says with a chuckle.

"Yeah, there isn't much acting when those scenes come up, right guys?"

Mackie adds in as everyone in the room anxiously waits for you or Sebastian to say something.

"Well, I don't know about that but Seb and I have such a great friendship, it makes it easy on set. We are both very comfortable around eachother for sure."

Your answer was pretty vague but seemed to please everyone.

"Yeah, I agree with Y/N. I think after the doing the last few films, we have gotten really close which makes stepping back into these characters easy."

Sebastian reiterates your statement.

Anthony and Chris exchange glances with small chuckles.

"Something you want to share with us guys?"

Kevin picks up on what was going on between the two guys to your right.

"No, nothing at all. Just listening to their answers."

Chris said, stifling a laugh.

"You don't think sebastian and Y/N are really good friends?"

It was pretty evident that Kevin was fishing.

"Friends, for sure, maybe more someday."

Both you and Sebastian blush at the comment.

"Well, well, well, do we have a real life Bucky and Bella on our hands?"

With raised eyebrows, Kevin excitedly turns to you.

"If you mean a great team, then sure!"

You laugh it off and soon the questions are off you and onto your costars.

Despite the awkwardness at the beginning, the rest of the panel went off without a hitch.

An hour later, the four of you leave the stage, when Sebastian stops you.

"Hey, uh Y/N, can we talk for a second?"

You turn to face him with a small smile.

"Well that was sure interesting at the beginning huh?"

He begins with an awkward chuckle.

"Yeah, those two idiots really know how to start stuff don't they?"

You reply.

"Yeah, assholes."

Right on queue, Chris and Anthony walk up.

"Dude, just ask her out already, this is getting excruciating to watch."

Chris says, patting Sebastian on the back before they continue on their way.

The shock from Chris' statement makes the already awkward situation even worse and you decide your best course of action was to just walk away.

Just as you pass by him, Sebastian lightly grabs your arm to stop you.

"Wait, Y/N, they are right. I should just get over it and ask you out."

He watches as your expression goes from embarrassment to curious to confused in just a few seconds.

"Y/N, I'm asking you out."

He chuckles.

"Look, I like you. Apparently it's obvious to everyone and if I don't suck it up and get over myself, they will just keep pushing me until I do. So what do you say? Will you go out with me?"

Your heart skips a beat at the question. You had always liked Sebastian but never in a million years thought he would ever feel the same way.

"I like you too. So yes, Sebastian. I would love to go out with you."

With that, there was a collective sigh of relief as you both finally admit your feelings for eachother. 

[engekihaikyuu]

Hyper Projection Engeki Haikyuu - The View from the Top 2

2.5D Interview Translation with Asuma Kousuke

======

Since the show “The Strongest Team,” it’s been about two and a half years since you last played Oikawa. How did you feel when your casting for this show was decided? I really didn’t think the day would come when I’d get to return to Engeki Haikyuu. So when my casting my was set, I was so incredibly happy. This time I will be the only one appearing from Aoba Johsai. So that makes me a little sad, and I also feel some pressure since I’m responsible for representing everyone from Aoba Johsai and I carry the weight of all of their emotions. That’s the main challenge I want to overcome.  

=====

Full interview and more photos under the Read More! Please do not repost my translations

Asuma-san, your debut was with Engeki Haikyuu. And now this will be your final time portraying Oikawa, so please give us an insight into your state of mind. I’m only here because of Engeki Haikyuu, so I really am very grateful. I’ve never been able to play the same character for this long, so it’s the character I’m most attached to, and I feel like I understand Oikawa better than anyone else. This is going to be the grand culmination of eleven shows, and I want to make it the best production yet, full of all of the emotions of everyone in the cast and crew. That’s the “Summit” that everyone in this company is aiming for, and I will be only one portion of that.  

Asuma-san, you will be the only one appearing from Aoba Johsai, so is there anything in particular you’re conscientious of?   Even with only Oikawa on the stage, I think the atmosphere changes. And because I will be alone, I want to be even more unrestrained in how I present Oikawa. Even at rehearsals, I want to be calling so much attention to Oikawa that even the director will stop me. (laughs) I haven’t been able to join the others at rehearsals yet, but I’ll be the only one there who’s been a part of this from the very beginning, so I think everyone will come to me with their questions. Like, “Show us how you did this in previous shows” or “Show us an example of how to do that.” Although I’m not sure I even could... (laughs) I’m sure there will be times when people tease me like, “That’s no good!” but if I can make rehearsals lively with that, I’m fine. Also in terms of age, I’m somewhere in the middle of the group, and this is my first time in that situation. Normally I’m always teased by my senpai, but since I’ve been here since the very first show and I’ve been able to see and experience a lot, I hope that I’ll be able to give some advice to others. 

Are there any parts of your personality that you think resemble Oikawa? A lot of people around me say that I'm like him, but I don’t really think so. At first I thought we might be similar, but as I’ve gotten deeper into this role, I’ve become less able to say that. Right now, I can only say that I respect him. Oikawa has this one line that I like, which goes, “Talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish!!!” In this world, there aren’t that many people you can call prodigies. Oikawa rose to the top with hard work, and I think it’s just too cool that I got to say that line! Even when I rewatch that DVD, I often feel like, “Wow I got a really cool line...”   Even Iwa-chan says to him, “Even when you’ve become an old man, you probably won’t be happy. Even if you won some big tournament, you wouldn’t be completely satisfied, because you’re an annoying guy who’s going to chase volleyball for his entire life.” Oikawa loves volleyball, he’s obsessed with it, and I have nothing but respect for that.  

Do you normally rewatch the shows you’ve starred in? It is embarrassing, so I don’t often rewatch things. There are things where if I watched them now, I’d think, “Man I sucked.” But when it comes to “Winners and Losers” or “The Strongest Team,” those are different and I used to rewatch them often even back then. I think to myself, “I haven’t done any other plays that are this rough. So I can do this!” They’re encouraging that way. Also I’m good friends with everyone in those casts. The sense of teamwork and friendship is very strong.  

Speaking of your teammates, you spent a long time together with the Aoba Johsai cast. Please tell us about a time during a past tour when you felt strongly about your connection with them.   There are a lot of things I can only talk about now. Everyone was my senpai, but at the time, we would argue a lot. Because we didn’t want to give in to one another. For the duration of the tour, we agreed that we wouldn’t have that kind of pecking order, and that’s how we were able to create those shows. There’s a scene in “The Strongest Team” when Oikawa says, “Thank you for the past three years!!!”, and when I saw everyone’s faces in that moment, I couldn’t stop myself from bursting into tears. I was just so glad that we really had become such a great team by that point.

Within the entire Engeki Haikyuu series, please tell us what you think is Oikawa’s best scene. The first is the opening sequence for the very first show. Because I was good at the count, I deviated from it to do a little double peace sign. And also that’s my very first scene as an actor. At the time, I was really nervous about even doing that one jump, but I’ll never be able to forget the view while facing the front of that stage. We don’t have any lines there, but it’s a scene that I have a very strong emotional attachment to.   The other one is from “the Strongest Team” when Kyoutani gets over himself and really becomes part of Seijoh. Oikawa has continued to trust in Kyoutani, and he continues to grind that gear into place. The result is a unified Seijoh to oppose Karasuno. When I rewatched that moment on DVD, I have this really great smile on my face. I’d kept such a serious expression up to that point, so I really enjoy that shift in expression.  

Tell us something we should look forward to for this show’s Oikawa. I think fundamentally he’s the same as when he was a high school student, so I think the highlight will be to see the parts of him that have changed with age. There’s a lot that wasn’t portrayed in the manga, so I’m personally looking forward to seeing how I can craft those portions on my own on-stage. I’m going to be fairly conscious of my manner and behavior, not just my lines. It'd be great if I can show his difference in age with how I carry myself. I also want to polish my jump serve more. My jump serve right now is the high school version, so I want people to see the change in form and power.  

Earlier you mentioned the line, “Talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish.” What are the things that you will continue to make bloom or polish from here on? Tell us your vision of yourself as an actor. I honestly don’t know if I have any real talents. But for now I’ve continued to get work in this field, so someday I’d like to be able find my specialties while focusing on the work in front of me. In the future I’d like to go overseas, so right now I’m studying English and Chinese. Haikyuu is very popular all over the world. Every time I’ve gone to some other country, there are many people who tell me, “I’ve seen Engeki Haikyuu!” Because I’ve been able to perform in a production that’s this beloved the world over, I’ve come to think that I need to go out into that world! After this, I would love to become an actor that can work all around the globe.  

And lastly, please give the fans a final, exuberant message   In times like these, I think that entertainment and the arts are absolutely necessary. I know there are many things to be depressed about, but that’s exactly why I want people to watch Engeki Haikyuu and then gain some motivation.  This is a production where you can absolutely feel the passion whether you see it in person or through a screen, so I want people to see it whether through an official stream or on DVD.   At last, we’ve reached the finale. Please support us to the very end!  

=====

You can read the original Japanese interview here: (x)

Please do not repost my translations!  This includes screenshots of bits and pieces taken out of context, especially if they don’t link back to this full post. If you appreciate the work I do for this blog and want to support my translation efforts please consider donating a ko-fi! (x)

[romiantic]

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒕𝒂 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒙 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌!𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ࿐ྂ

彡 ❛ 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 ❜

彡 𝗳𝘁. ryota kise

彡 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: fluff with very little angst

彡 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.3k

彡 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: suggestive theme at the end

彡 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: all characters are 18+. also can we talk about how BOMB this song is 🤧 y’all sleepin on this song fr

·˚ ༘ੈ✩‧₊˚ ╰┈➤ ❛❛ 𝙄 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘿𝙊 𝙄𝙏 ❜❜

❝ 𝐘/𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐘𝐎 𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐔𝐏! You have two minutes till showtime.” Your manager, AKA, older brother, barged and announced to you like he didn’t update you almost five minutes ago.

You did your usual of sucking your teeth and rolling your teeth every time he barged in and interrupted your call, you replied with annoyance in your tone, “AJ I know! Can you wait a minute? Damn, so impatient for absolutely no reason.”

“I’m sorry who’s the one with hundreds of thousands of fans screaming their name and waiting for their ass outside? Me or you? Oh okay. Anyways, end yo little call with yo boyfr-”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You interrupted, becoming irritated with your brother and simply wanted him to shut the fuck up. A great manager and brother, yet way too uptight for his job.

AJ rolled his eyes and muttered something but you flipped him off and pretended not to hear him until he left your dressing room. You gave your attention back to your phone, giving a cheeky smile to the blonde boy on your screen. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a nervous look growing on you but from what you could tell, he was choosing what shirt to wear to his photoshoot. Leaving him to be seen with a no top on and a pair of denim jeans.

Though it was typical to see your best friend’s exposed upper body, it was a sight you never got used to. His well-toned body, results from years of playing basketball in middle and high school, making your face hot, adding on to the nervousness you were already facing from your upcoming performance. Along with the pearly white smile he flashed at you creating a sick feeling in your stomach, something that you made you clench onto it and try to ignore. Now was not the time to be drooling over your best friend, who interrupted your stare with a laugh and said, “Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna take a picture?”

Of course, he’d ruin it with some cocky line like that, you rolled your eyes and sucked your teeth. “Boy calm down, ain’t nobody wanna was staring.”

“Your nervous face said otherwise.”

“Akekeke, don’t you have a photoshoot to go to?”

Kise replied with the same energy as yours, “And don’t you have a performance to go to?”

You held up a finger to a screen then crossed your arms, “Aht aht, don’t worry about me now. Worry about yo lil pictures with that famous ass Russian model.” You wanted to roll your eyes just thinking about the brought-up woman but it would make it seem like you’re being jealous for no reason.

Kise let out a small laugh, adoring the irritated look that was starting to creep up on your face. “Somebody sounds jealous.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a scoff, “Oh please, like I would be.” You looked at the time on your watch and noticed it was about one minute until your performance. Your eyes widened at the time and hurried, you quickly ended the call with Kise, “Shit, fuck! I gotta go perform but I’ll call you back when I’m done.”

“And I’ll be waiting for you beautiful when you get back.” The golden-eyed boy winked at you yet you cringed and scrunched your face. “You’re so fucking corny Kise.” You hung up the call, grab any other pieces missing from your outfit, and headed out of your dressing room.

You traveled quickly around backstage, passing by many coworkers and background dancers waiting for you, to head into the small tunnel for artists to come out on stage. You stopped at the exit and gulped as you scanned the stage. An outside arena with hundreds of thousands of fans cheering your name, waiting for your appearance.

Usually, you would be at ease with concerts this large but for some reason this time is different. Unknowing the reason nor cause, you started to feel anxious, your hands mildly shaking and your throat going dry.

There was something in the back of your mind attempting to not make you perform, something telling you to not do it, it won’t be good, people will hate you. A voice there to influence thoughts, hoping that you would fall into the trap and just give up on singing. Though of course, you wouldn’t listen to that voice, that voice always lingered around whenever you were brought to perform, no matter where you were.

The only thing to distract you and keep you safe from that tiny voice is someone who you’ve longed to love. One who just settles your nerves, bringing comfort, and removing all anxious thoughts. One who would deem you as one of the greatest artists he’s ever listened to, maybe it’s opinionated but he loves you too much to disagree.

The now dawdling thought of his soft voice whenever he spoke or his flirtatious nature when you two joked around made a familiar feeling grow greater than before. Something replaced the anxiousness that was growing, a feeling that replaced the nervousness and calmed your shaky hands. Something that was the thought of Ryota Kise, he was like the medicine to all the pain you’ve suffered. A remedy to your anxiety, one of the many causes of the cheeky smile social media often sees you with.

Someone who you grew up and spent all your life with, always noticing how protective he was of you or the way he hummed one of your pre-recorded tracks that he was the only one to listen to. Celebrating one of your songs had hit #1 on the Billboard chart and the way he helped out whenever you hit writer’s block.

Every single thing, noticeable or not, made you grown to love the boy, starting from a platonic, playground friendship blooming to many years of trying to figure out if you are romantically in love with him. Growing familiar feelings of butterflies mixed with the thought of just wanting to cup his face and kiss him whenever he was around.

Just the ultimate feeling of wanting to be buried in the blonde boy’s arms and explain the blooming love for him made you want to sing the song you wrote for him. A new single that you never wanted to put out since you wanted only Kise to hear it, including that the song was your way of telling him what you felt all these years.

Though something changed your mind, something in your brain told you to tell everyone around you that you’re singing solo, no backup singers or dancers, only you on that stage. In this performance, you just had to do it yourself, nothing but you, the stage, and the microphone.

Everyone was confused by the last-minute change of plans but went along with it. They rescheduled it to where your first “official” song to start the concert with was right after your solo performance. You gave thanks to your team and took some deep breaths. You made sure your Bluetooth set was on and working properly in your ear, AJ handed you a mic and brushed off any wrinkling from your outfit and any smoothed out your hair. Uptight about his job yet made sure his little sister was looking the greatest for her performances.

You took deep breaths again, shook off any bad nerves, and walked on stage. The already excited crowd enraged and their volume expanded as they saw you stand before them. Everyone waving their signs that said, “I love you y/n!!” or “Y/N is so beautiful!” You waved to the audience and stopped at the middle of the stage, walking closer to the front of the stage as well.

You turned on the mic and tapped it to see if it was working, “Mic check one two, can you guys hear me?” The crowd immediately responded yes, you continued on to talk to them, “Okay good, have been getting technical difficulties with my mic and I really don’t feel like switching mics three times. Anyways, afternoon to all my lovely fans who made it out here or to those that are watching me live. I love you all and thank you for supporting me, I truly am grateful for every single one of y’all.” Everyone screamed out how much they love you and adore you, showing off their merch that they bought and waving the homemade posters.

You smiled at their response and cleared your throat as you introduced the song, “Thank you, I love you too. This first song is one that has been sitting too comfortably in my heart. A piece that came from genuine emotions and feelings I’ve tried to bury yet couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. It’s something that I never planned on dropping but I just felt like the world had to hear what I had to say. Hopefully, you guys enjoy it cause I did when I was writing this song at two in the morning before I snuck into the studio and recorded it. Was it worth it? Definitely. Now I may introduce to you, Not Another Love Song. A contradicting title isn’t it?”

You took a large breath in and out, you took a position as you waited for the beat to drop. As soon as you heard the familiar melody start, you sang, “I don’t wanna mess this up, could it be too much to say I’m in?”

The crowd lowered down and became silent to hear your new single, grasping the beautiful new lyrics you were singing and just vibing along with it.

You yourself were placing emotion as you sang, not noticing how proudly you sang the chorus or how you were smiling at the crowd the entire time. One thing was clouding your mind to even pay attention to those details, the same thing that more than likely pushed you to sing the song.

As you sang, the feelings for your best friend grew stronger, butterflies in your stomach, and the deprivation of his touch grew on you. Not even realizing how much you missed him until you turned initially to smile at AJ and your team yet saw a familiar face appear as well. You questioned it but then turned back to continue singing to the audience, only thinking that mind is playing games with you.

“I'm finna take my time, my mind, my rules. This ain't no crimе makin' love to you, though you ain't say this. But I had a hard time waitin' for you, boy. Like ooh, boy, you, boy. Got me where you want, just gotta say and it's on, it's like, ooh, boy, do you know you got me like where do you go when you're alone?”

As you sang, you noticed the crowd growing silent, their eyes widening, and their jaws dropping. You were utterly confused at was catching their attention, you turned to your team and your brother pointed behind, giving you a goofy smile as well.

You turned around to what was the cause of this silent commotion and right along with everyone else, your jaw drop and your eyes widened. The flirtatious, handsome model that everyone knew of was standing in front of you with a bouquet of roses in his hand. He walked up to you and smiled greatly, closing in the large gap between the both of you.

Seeing him walk closer to you made you want to say forget concert and sing the rest to him. Half of your feeling was already poured out, not even knowing he was listening to all of it. You didn’t think he would even be here since he had a photoshoot, not standing on an outside stage with a bouquet of roses and dressed in casual attire.

He handed you the roses and kissed your forehead, telling you, “Alone with you, away from the world, where else would I be when I’m alone?”

No response came from you, not even a single gasp or a sniffle to signify that you might cry. The way you responded to his presence was something that shocked the arena, everyone watching you on live, your team, and even the two of you yourself. Who would’ve thought you would be bold enough to grab his face and kiss him right then and there? You snaked your arm around his waist and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. He responded back by wrapping his hands around your shoulders and hugging you tightly, holding onto you to make sure you wouldn’t separate from him.

You pulled back from the kiss and smiled, softly combed his blonde hair, and expressed, “I love you, Kise.” Saying his name like it was something you’ve been aching to say, a name that you’ve buried away yet brought out today. A name that sounded so lovely and romantic when you say it.

Kise expressed as well, “I love you too y/n. I’ve always loved you and I will never stop loving you.” He kissed you again, he removed his hand from your shoulders and trailed around to find your hands. He removed your hands from his waist and instead intertwined them with his.

He felt you smile when he held your hand and smiled back. He stated in between kisses, “You know I’m staying on this stage to hear you finish that song right?”

“It’s fine, I need someone to do my next performance on anyways.” He looked at you and you did nothing but wink and mischievously smiled at him. Kise had a small idea of what he could expect but suppressed it to enjoy the soft moment he wanted between the both of you. A moment that he’ll never forget and a concert that will always be remembered for everyone around you.

彡 it’s like 5 am and I’m tired 🦧 the only thing that kept me up was the fact that I don’t have school plus I loveeeeee kise

彡 also the show olivia

彡 I don’t think I ever mentioned to y’all how much I love his ass but now is definitely not the time 😁

彡 I’m convinced if it silent black hair blue eye powerful men weren’t my type, cocky and flirtatious ones would be runner up

彡 anyways hope you guys enjoy + pleaseee listen to the song, I highly recommend plus ella mai is VERY underrated

bye babes, drink your water, stay hydrated, and remember that you are the baddest bitch on the planet 🥰 no matter what ANYONE says

𝐏𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝟏𝟖:𝟑𝟎 💗

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟣 𝗄𝗈𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗎𝗋𝗈. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[caffernnn]

Final stroke spoilers: ⚠️‼️

I just saw a post on Twitter about the Haru and Rin scene and how they didn’t feel that it was that ooc of Haru. I thought I was the only one who felt that it was kind of justified on Haru’s end. Because both Rin and Ikuya put Haru and their friends through so much when they were lost and wanted to swim with Haru again. And I get that professional swimming is entirely different than what they’re used to, but it really sucks that as soon as the competition got a little hard they decided to just drop free and only swim their preferred styles. That’s got to be a slap in the face to Haru, because what was all of that other stuff about? Like Rin wanted for YEARS for Haru to swim on the world stage and after the first race is like “you’re on your own.” He honestly deserves it to be honest even if Haru would’ve never said anything to protect their friendship he was clearly thinking or thought these thoughts. For a show where Haru is the mc we rarely get to see how he feels about things. I wish we can see the movie soon, cause I really wanna see how that whole sequence takes place.

⚠️ Talking about Free! Final Stroke spoilers below the cut ⚠️

It’s wild to me (it probably shouldn’t be surprising; idk) how even going off of just spoilers, there is a clear divide in the reactions people are having to Haru’s actions in the movie, especially in reference to the sudden shift leading up to the fight with Rin. I can see why people are surprised by it on a base level because so much of his successes in DttF, paired with the camaraderie everyone seems to have for a majority of the movie, leads you to believe Haru has emotionally matured and stabilized since high school, which is true! He’s more open to change and examining his emotions, especially as he starts to grapple with a high-stakes long-term goal for what feels like the first time. With that said, all of this can be true at the same time Haru is going through a steady breakdown that can/will likely lead to burnout. So many people who’ve been put through rigorous academic programs or career training or anything else equally as intensive can attest to the frustration of feeling like every few steps forward (gaining experiential knowledge, making connections, learning more about your identity in reference to x goal, etc) are followed by a step back (exhaustion, plateaus, expectations you can’t meet, mistakes spilling out when you can’t keep repressing the negatives in the name of “productivity”). Haru was able to make it this far because he has grown and started to heal some of the cracks in his support group, but the sheer amount of pressure makes it easier for him to break, and old wounds that never fully healed have time to fester.

I probably sound like a broken record in these movie-related posts when talking about Haru getting obsessed with becoming stronger and not knowing what to do with that fairly new and overwhelming drive. I can’t be mad at Haru completely for his choices here (can’t wait to be called a Haru apologist when the movie comes out in more places jfjdjd) because he partially fell victim to circumstance. This is one of the first times Haru takes the expectations of him being a “hero” or “prodigy” into consideration, and now he’s trying to navigate the expectations of success that come with those titles while not being sure 1) what exactly they are beyond winning, and 2) not being sure if they’re actually attainable for him. Along with that, he’s putting faith in Ryuuji’s instruction and guidance because he needs someone with any sort of credibility or experience with the pro circuit to show him how to get to the top. Even though from an outside standpoint it’s easier to discredit and reject Ryuuji’s assertion that everyone at the top has to give something up to get there, there are a number of reasons Haru reconsiders the notion with everything he’s seeing. He’s seeing his newest rivals reach crazy success and strength through isolation, and Ryuuji is dangling a golden opportunity in front of his face by going to Haru in the moments where he’s most vulnerable and saying “yes, that strength you crave is possible for you, but only if you pay this specific price for it.” Nobody should bear the weight of “saving” Haru from his circumstances (especially not his friends on their own journeys… Ryuuji and other mentors watching this trainwreck can eat my shorts tho), but dealing with this ultimatum while his core support group is pushing forward through their own challenges and/or busy in another country, I can’t be too surprised when he starts to overextend himself and burst at the seams.

As far as the blow-up with Rin, I won’t say it’s fully justified, but it’s understandable. The way Haru has had to make peace with his hardships with Ikuya and Rin has largely been by atoning for his own involvement in those rifts and trying to turn over a new leaf without expecting much in return. He took the opportunities of swimming with both of them again to replace any apologies on their parts and largely made peace with it. As much as it’s going to hurt to watch, I’m interested to see this fight play out because it sounds like it addresses a problem we bring up a lot in meta analyses posts: there needs to be more explicit conversations and apologies between characters, or the closure feels flimsy and temporary at best. This fight isn’t about closure (it’s about a lot of things both involving and excluding Rin, but I ranted about that in the other spoiler post) but it’s acknowledgement after all of this time that there’s still a need for it. Having Rin back in his life as a rival and friend has held the caveat in the back of his mind that Rin will leave his side again if Haru’s friendship/rivalry stops serving all of his interests. Haru’s ultimate fear of being abandoned by people, of people using him without understanding him and then throwing him aside for someone/something else, is drastically coming back to the surface in all of his stress. Rin and Ikuya choosing to continue their pro careers with strokes that better suit their strengths isn’t abandonment, just like Makoto choosing a university in Tokyo wasn’t, but Haru is so lost in his own stress and despair that he can’t see these choices as anything but personal attacks in the moment. These choices don’t have to do with Haru and we’re never meant to hurt him (which he comes to realize by the end of each fight), but the unresolved issues mixed with his fears make him explode.

It’s not a black and white situation where only one side is in the right, and I hope whatever resolution comes in the second movie acknowledges that. Rin didn’t deserve Haru’s taunting and wrath in that moment, but I do want him to reflect on the whole mess and recognize that Haru’s in a desperate place not unlike the one he was in when he first went to Australia and seemingly cut everyone off. I want them both to consider that avoiding airing out those insecurities because it’d be uncomfortable or embarrassing ultimately led them back here, unsure how to talk about changes and concerns without first having one of them explode or hit rock bottom. They can be friends outside of swimming, I’d want them to be friends outside of swimming, but I think Haru isn’t blind to how much of their connection is reliant on intrigue in the water, and a part of him is scared that Rin won’t have a reason to stick around if they aren’t rivaling each other in the same stroke anymore.

All of this can make for a great chance of resolution in the second movie, if done well. There’s opportunity for Haru to realize that the trajectory of dreams can change, and just like Rin changing his stroke or Makoto changing his training emphasis, you can honor the parts of the dream that first inspired you while finding a path that honors the person you’ve become. There’s opportunity for Haru to break from the dangerous echo chamber he’s currently in telling him he has to do this all alone in a few ways. Maybe he’ll have a moment where he’s like “I gave up everything and still couldn’t get stronger, so now I need to get back to finding what gives me strength personally.” Maybe he’ll have a moment where he’s like “if my only option is a path paved in loneliness, I need to find a new dream.” There are so many directions the story can go in at this point, and I’m excited to see what happens next (and maybe write about the paths they don’t choose lol).

[inevitably-johnlocked]

hey you any canon compliant angst no happy ending recs

Hey Lovely!

Ah, you’re an evil one, aren’t ya, LOL LOL!! Hee hee! No worries! I’ve had this one waiting for literal years, finally going to use this post as an excuse to post it up! Enjoy(?)! LOL <3

UNHAPPY or AMBIGUOUS ENDINGS

See also:

Major Character Death / Heavy Angst

Major Character Death / Heavy Angst Pt 2

One Lives, One Dies

John’s Suicide Before TEH

Dies After the Fall and Becomes a Ghost

John Has Cancer

I don't mind by beltainefaerie (G, 221 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Stag Night, 221B, Post-TRF, Angst, Longing) – Sherlock is more vulnerable than he pretends. Part 4 of Bel's Tumblr Ficlets

Pervasive Quietness by LittleLongHairedOutlaw (T, 545 w., 1 Ch. ||  Angst, Friendship, Pining Sherlock, First-Person Sherlock POV) – The hollowness left in Baker Street seeps into everything.

Human Error by YakuzaDog (G, 571 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Missing Scene, Angst) – Sherlock goes on a brief shopping trip.

The Hollow Man by HHarris (G, 639 w., 1 Ch. || John’s Chair, Introspection, Sherlock’s Big Feelings™, Post TRF, Angst, Emotional Turmoil, POV Sherlock, Pining / Sad Sherlock) – Still reeling from the apparent loss of his one and only friend, Sherlock returns to 221B for the first time after the events of The Reichenbach Fall.

Five Seconds by xXLadyLovelaceXx (K+, 658 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Introspection, TGG Pool Scene) – In the half-second before Sherlock shoots the jacket, John notices something.

Promise of Sussex by LittleLongHairedOutlaw (T, 705 w., 1 Ch. || First Person POV Sherlock, Sherlock Whump, Angst, Pining, Ambiguous Ending) – John tries to keep Sherlock conscious after he's been shot on a case.

Message Not Sent by Queerasil (K, 762 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, One-Sided Texting, Pining Sherlock) - Sherlock texts John after the fall and during the hiatus. The messages are sent, but never received. Sequel to WORDLOCKED, TSTM, and Wait, How Do You Play This Game Again?

John Will Never Know by bloodsoakedleather (E, 775 w., 1 Ch. || Fantasy John, Masturbation, PIning Sherlock, Sexual Fantasy, Rimming, Cock Sucking, John’s Red Pants, Pants Sniffing, Coming in Pants, Mild Kink) – Sherlock indulges in a spot of self gratification with the aid of a stolen pair of red pants. Part 2 of Johnlock Porny Ficlets

Words Were Never Useful by Jenn1984 (K+, 819 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt Comfort, John Whump, Friendship, Ambiguous Ending) - ALLEY BEHIND THE BOOKSTORE, JOHN STABBED. HELP NOW. SH

The Other Shoe by thewaitwasworthitlove - (NR, 1,053 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Angst, URT, Post-TSo3) - Sherlock realizes how deep in love he has fallen for John. Only Sherlock Holmes would manage to be more shattered than crystal dropped on concrete.

The Signs of Loss by LitLocked (NR, 1,103 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TSo3, Pining Sherlock, Self Reflection) – Sherlock's internal monologue after he comes back from the wedding.

Velvet by headlessjess (G, 1,155 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Fic, Pining, Angst, Jealous Sherlock, Loneliness, Sad Fic, Friendship, Bi-Curiousity, Dancing) – It's the day, the wedding day - John and Mary, getting married. And then there's Sherlock, in pain and in love, without knowing how to deal with it.

Imminent by LoyalPaddler (K+, 1,187 w., 1 Ch. || Kidnapping, Open Ending) – What did it say about a person if he recognized the feeling of waking up concussed, blindfolded, and handcuffed to a chair? Probably not good, that.

The Simple Separation Will Not Come Between Us by The Circus (T, 1,278 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, MCD, Violence, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Prose) – The choice is simple. Real, and No John. Or Not Real, and John. For a prompt that says 'John dies and Sherlock loses himself in his Mind Palace’

Hold On by Jennistar1 (T, 1,300 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Hiatus, Friendship) –  Alternative ending to Reichenbach Falls - John knew all along.

The Talons of Sentiment by dearcst (G, 1,463 w., 1 Ch. || First Person POV, Angst, Unrequited Love, Pining Sherlock) – I promised myself long ago I wouldn’t succumb to something so degrading, something so vicious. I promised I wouldn’t let myself fall. But that was before him. That was before I met John. In sleep there is such bliss and peace, and as John slept on my shoulder, it killed me inside to know I was so close yet I could never touch him.

Love and Bombs by Spark_Writer (T, 1,696 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, POV Sherlock First Person, Post-HLV, Pining Sherlock) – Love and bombs aren’t all that different, John. In the end, they’re almost indistinguishable. Part 3 of Human Error

BBCSH 'Poor Mary' by tigersilver (M, 1,839 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fic, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Missing Scene, Sherlock POV) – As the tin says above, this is a missing scene, set directly after Sherlock awakens in hospital after having been shot by his best mate's wife. Minor angst, some pining, nothing nasty; please don't be alarmed unduly.

Dying Changes Everything by whitchry9 (K+, 1,919 w., 1 Ch || Sherlock POV, Suicidal Ideation, Near-Death, Hospital, Sherlock Whump, Gunshot, Unhappy/Ambiguous Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship) – Sherlock is having an existential crisis and wants to have a near death experience like John did to gain some perspective. “Shoot me John!” he insisted, gesturing to himself. John just looked at him. “Are you completely mad?”

Love Hurts by Grac3 (T, 2,215 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Pining Sherlock, One-Sided Pining / URT, Sherlock / John Whump, Angst, Ambiguous Ending) – In a world where someone's physical injuries manifest themselves on the person who is in love with them, John didn't think that there would ever be anyone who was willing to risk falling in love with him - until he got shot on a case, and it didn't hurt. Unrequited Johnlock.

glimpses through a closing window by radialarch (T, 2,430 w., 1 Ch.  || Hiatus / Post TRF, Vlogging, Pining Sherlock, Angst, BG John/Mary) – John starts a domestic vlog. Sherlock watches it on stolen phones, over flickering wi-fi, and aches.

It's After That Hurts by jonnyluvssherlock (T, 2,791 w., 1 Ch. || City of Angels AU || Fantasy, Fallen Angel Sherlock, Soldier John, Pining Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Permanently Incomplete Fic) – Sherlock's an angel stuck as a guardian to danger addict John Watson. Everything is fine until he gets too involved. Now he has to make the choice, eternity alone or one life time with a man who may or may not love him.

You Paid Me Well In Memories by Ballykissangel - (K+, 3,149 w., 1 Ch. || Heavy Angst, Hurt, Comfort, Grief) –  It's Sherlock's birthday and John is not doing well. No matter how hard he's tried to keep on living, he knows he is going to give up soon and he isn't going to make it. Today is his last and only chance to visit Sherlock's grave to talk and give him his gifts: His dog tags, a book full of notes and memories and the meaning of love as Sherlock watches on in grief.

Out of Time by westernredcedar (T, 3,163 w., 1 Ch. || Wedding, Angst, Pining John, Sad Ending) – Somerset is a lovely place for a wedding, but what John hadn't accounted for was the getting everyone there.

fulfilling for other people by missselene (E, 3,957 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, Unhappy Fic, Unrequited Love Confession, Virgin Sherlock) – When Sherlock decides to act on John’s advice regarding romantic entanglements, the results are far from what John expected. Part 1 of fulfilling for other people

Sink Like a Stone by pennydreadful (T, 4,348 w., 1 Ch. || Angst / Dark, Cuddling/Snuggling) – After defeating Moriarty at the pool, life isn't quite the same around 221B Baker Street...it's more peaceful. And stranger.

The Dance Lesson by bittergreens (G, 4,596 w., 1 Ch. || TSo3 Missing Scene, Dancing, Pining Sherlock, URT/UST, Romance, Angst, POV John) – Sherlock teaches John to dip. Part 1 of Goodnight, Vienna

Anticlockwise (Ask Time) by TheBookshelfDweller (G, 3,752 w., 1 Ch. || Metaphorical, Angst, Time, Unhappy Ending) – "Let me tell you the truth: Sherlock Holmes cannot beat Time." Time only flows in one direction, and we are stranded in it, carried by currents we mostly never notice are whirling around us. No one can walk backwards along the timeline, and maybe that’s for the best, because what if someone could? Where would they go? Or, better say, to when would they go? Most importantly who would they leave behind (or is it ahead)? In the end, despite the truth, Sherlock Holmes decides to fight Time, for John, for himself - for himself with John.

On the Steadfast Approach of an Oncoming Darkness by 2bee (T, 7,772 w., 1 Ch. || Apocalypse, Minor Character Death, Sort of Parentlock) – The world is ending. Not fast, but slowly, like falling asleep with a fever.

In The End by whitchry9 (K+, 9,677 w., 17 Ch. || Memento Fusion || Amnesia, Growing Old, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Heavy Angst) – When a brain injury leaves Sherlock unable to make new memories, John wonders how Sherlock will cope, and what it will mean for The Work and their life. Because after all, how can you live if you can't feel time passing?

All the Times Something ALMOST Happened by allonsys_girl (T, 9,049 w., 6 Ch. || POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Canon Compliant, Angst, Friendship/Love, UST) – John and Sherlock dancing around what they dance around in canon.

The Haunting of 221B Baker Street by earlgreytea68 (M, 10,388 w., 2 Ch. || Post TRF, Halloween / Ghosts, Pining Sherlock, Ghost Sherlock, Stroppy Sherlock, Sherlock POV, First Kiss/Time, Angry Sex, Ghost Sex, Love Confessions, Open / Ambiguous Ending) – In which Sherlock Holmes is a ghost.

The Five Stages of Mourning, Plus One by SunnyRea (T, 10,557 w., 1 Ch. || Major Character Death, Pining / Grieving Sherlock, URT, Heavy Angst, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Drug Use, Graphic Death, Depression, Unhappy Ending) – Sherlock did not want this, did not want another stalemate with John in the middle, a gun in Jim's hand. This cannot have happened without a sign. There has to be something he missed anything which said today is the day I kill for real.

There's So Much Labour Just in Breathing Lately by Susan (E, 12,708 w., 1 Ch. || Post-TRF / Mentions of S3 Events, Romance, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Grieving John, Mutual Pining, Meddling Mycroft, Therapy, Ambiguous Hopeful Ending, Infidelity) – The dreams he hated most – the ones that left him a sweating, shaking mess when he woke – were the ones in which Sherlock was just Sherlock. Laughing or drinking tea. Sitting across the table from him at Angelo’s eating pasta. Trailing his open hand behind him on the way to the bedroom. “C’mon, John. I’m about to have my way with you.”

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

The Hollow Woman by ScopesMonkey (M, 51,335 w., 22 Ch. || Post-TRF, Major Character Death, Mystery, Romance, Friendship, Family, Angst, Crime, Reunion, First Kiss / Time, Nightmares, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Jealous John, BAMF John, Angry John, Dub-Con, Rough Sex, Bottomlock, Possessive John, Villain Mary, Open Ending) – Forced to return to London sooner than expected, Sherlock falls into a case too close to home. Part 1 of the Hollowverse series

The Gilded Cage by BeautifulFiction (E, 326,887 w., 31 Ch. || Omegaverse || Omega Sherlock / Alpha John, Friends to Lovers, Dub Con, Reproductive Rights) – In a world where Omegas are the property of the elite Alphas, locked away and treasured by those wealthy enough to buy them, John never questioned his flatmate's secondary gender. Sherlock Holmes was an Alpha through-and through. Wasn't he? A chance discovery turns the world on its head, and John is left grappling to come to terms with Sherlock's past as events conspire to threaten their future.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 17X8

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

I freakin’ loved this episode! It was so so good! Which surprised me considering what they focused on. Based on the promo I knew that this would be DeLuca’s goodbye episode and so I expected to like the other parts of the episode we were shown in the promo such as Hayes talking to Meredith at her bedside, Richard’s storyline, and Derek’s return. However, I was not expecting to enjoy any part of DeLuca’s farewell storyline and I was pleasantly surprised. I think that’s because they focused on the effects of grief and guilt and how everyone processes those emotions differently.

It was a really interesting character study on how each person feels a loss in their own way. Despite not liking the character I actually found DeLuca’s memorial service quite moving. I think it was because they found a creative way to do it and because funerals in the real world like we normally do aren't possible right now. My grandfather died last summer and while he didn’t want a funeral my family and I weren’t able to get together to mourn his loss as we usually would and that’s been hard.

I wasn’t particularly close with my grandfather, but the loss of traditional grieving rituals in this time of COVID-19 has been frustrating. I liked that they found a creative way to have the characters mourn the loss of a fellow staff member. I expected to see Carina more, but as I understand it her storyline played out more on Station 19 which makes sense. I felt like they did a good job of showing the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) and how everyone experiences them differently.

Teddy and Owen displayed survivors' guilt and frustration that they did everything right and he still died. At the end we see Teddy in a catatonic state and it made me think that she might be sick with COVID herself or that there was something else wrong. While I've never been a Teddy and Owen shipper I did like the moment at the end where Owen noticed something was wrong and came over to her and told her that he would take her home and when she didn't respond he picked her up and carried her.

It reminded me of the Season 2 episode where Denny dies and Izzie refuses to leave his side so Alex picks her up and carries her over to a chair in her prom dress. Very different relationships, but a nice parallel in my opinion. This episode had a lot of those. Teddy seeing DeLuca in other people’s faces was freaky! I have to say that guy is way more interesting as a ghost then he ever was alive.  

I totally got Helm's reaction. I understand why she said and thought those horrible things about DeLuca. He was an ass for a really long time. I probably would have done the same thing myself, but that doesn't mean she wanted him dead. I thought what Maggie did for her was wonderful. My heart broke for Schmitt when he described his emotions. Richard was angry and Bailey went overboard trying to figure out what happened. Everyone's experience of a loss is different and I like that they showed that.

I’m glad that Richard told Bailey what she needed to hear. It was painful, but in trying to find an answer or a reason for what happened she was unintentionally hurting the people around her who were suffering too. The strength of Richard and Bailey's relationship is that they can tell each other the truth when no one else can or will. I loved his monologue to Catherine about trying to find a meaning in the puzzle of life and questioning his faith which is such a big part of his sobriety. James Pickens Jr. did a beautiful job in that scene.

Say what you want about Catherine, but I loved her response. Richard was trying to find meaning in the meaningless and in response she shared with him that her latest scans showed that the cancer hadn’t grown. Logically it should have, but it didn’t. Sometimes there are miracles and sometimes there are senseless deaths. Life is a puzzle. We don’t always understand it. That was exactly what Richard needed to hear in that moment.

On a more upbeat note, I loved the beach scenes this week! They were perfect! They were everything I dreamed of for my favourite characters and more! We got to see Derek and Meredith get closer and talk about the kids. When Meredith is heartbroken that Derek never got to meet Ellis or to know her he tells her all of these wonderful things about her. How she’s just like Meredith and makes it clear that he’s watching over them always.

He talks about Zola and how she writes to him in her journal and how Meredith taught her to ride a bike. I teared up! I've been waiting for them to discuss the kids and here it is! Hearing Derek talk about Ellis and knowing that he watches over Meredith and the kids was so emotional for me. I loved hearing him describe who she is and getting to learn more about her. I'm glad he encouraged her to go back. As much as Derek and Meredith miss each other she's needed back in the land of the living.

Her kids need her and so does everyone else. I loved Derek's gentle teasing. His facial expressions. And then there are her scenes with Hayes! God they were perfect! I've been waiting for this! I loved how Meredith kept joyfully asking him what he did to make Ellis smile so wide and laugh so loudly. She knows he can't hear her yet there she is dying to know what he said or did. The sound of her voice when she said that was everything for me. They already feel like a couple. So much in sync.

I love that Derek, who was shown to be extremely jealous in life, encouraged her to hear Hayes out. I really felt like he was giving her his blessing and the fact that they established that Hayes has met the kids virtually and they know who he is sealed the deal for me. Hayes has now received Cristina’s approval, Derek’s blessing, and is shown to have positive relationships with Meredith’s friends and family in Seattle. I loved that Hayes told Meredith to fight and talked about how her kids were doing and how everyone needs her.

I loved that he came and sat at her bedside and begged her to fight and not give up and that he talked to her even though he wasn’t sure if she could hear him. I love that he sat with her through the virtual memorial even though he wasn’t close to DeLuca and didn’t like him. The cheerful greeting and familiarity with which he greets Amelia and Zola and the stories he tells Meredith indicates that he’s been having regular video chats with Amelia, Maggie, Link, and the kids and that he’s chosen to stay by Meredith’s side when he just as easily could have left while she was on a call with her kids.  

It will also make the transition easier when do start dating because the kids will already know him. The music in this episode was really beautiful. Especially the songs that played during the beach scenes. I really enjoyed the drunken Link, Jo, and Jackson scene. I felt it brought much needed levity and humour to the episode the same way the beer scene with Jackson, Link, and Winston did in the previous episode. Their scenes were funny and raw and provided a good balance for the episode.

I also loved seeing more of Jo and Jackson's friends with benefits relationship and more of Jo and Link and Jackson and Link's friendship. I'd actually forgotten that Jackson and Link were friends so it was cool to see that dynamic again and that Link is supportive of their situation. The drinking game to me felt like a throwback to the Season 2 episode where Meredith and Cristina are at Joe’s Bar playing a game of whose life sucks the most and she tells them that Derek is married and Cristina tells her she’s pregnant. These revelations eventual lead to Cristina scheduling an abortion and declaring Meredith her person.

It was cool to see Maggie and Winston working together at Grey Sloan Memorial. Winston living in Boston was only going to go on for so long because as we've all found out this past year there's only so much you can do virtually. I knew he'd be moving to Seattle at some point and I'm glad to see him working at the hospital and hanging with Maggie's family. The scene where he danced it out with the kids was too cute! I'll be interested to see more of their dynamic moving forward as Maggie used to be his teacher and is now his boss. I'm also glad that both Winston and Hayes are finally getting the proper screen time they deserve.

Their storyline with the naked guy cracked me up! My two favourite lines of the episode were when the guy freaked out because he realized he wasn’t wearing his mask and Maggie said, “You’re not wearing much of anything.” And when Maggie and Winston went looking for him and Zander Perez, the resident from Pac North, told them, “If you’re looking for a naked guy he went that way.” I laughed so hard!

The scenes with Zola got me. She is a real trouper. She definitely is Meredith Grey's daughter through and through. I'm a big believer in found family and one of the things Grey's does really is show that there are many different ways to be a family and that family is what you make of it. True family is made up of the people who love and support you unconditionally not genetics. I really love that they've shown the strength of that bond between Zola and her family.

My favourite hidden moment of the episode was Tom! He appears in the background at DeLuca's memorial which means he's getting better. If he's well enough to be outside at the memorial then his condition has greatly improved since last we saw and that's great! Tom's a wonderfully complex character and I'm glad he's doing better. He appears in a bunch of deleted scenes that were released through the Grey’s Anatomy Twitter account which I highly recommend. The writing in this episode was excellent!

This episode was written by Adrian Wenner whose previous credits include the Season 16 episode ‘A Hard Pill to Swallow’ in which Meredith and Hayes work that vaping case together and get to know each for the first time. Honestly, my only complaint about this episode is that I wish they’d done it sooner! I wish they had bumped this and the previous episode up. The Mid-Season Finale felt very anti-climatic to me and was poorly received by a lot of fans. I wish they had just scrapped that episode or combined it with what we saw in the Mid-Season Premiere and then jumped into this episode after the break. But we’re here now and that’s the important thing.

Onto next week’s promo. Damn does it look interesting! We see that Owen has brought Teddy home and she’s not eating or speaking and he’s worried if her condition does not improve he’ll have to admit her. I’m sure he’s having flashbacks to when Cristina did the same thing after the plane crash. She appears to be experiencing some kind of nightmare sequence where she sees DeLuca as a ghost and Meredith speaks to her. Looks intense!

Until next time!

[dalleray]

If I hadn't been very good interviewing [Patricia] Highsmith in Aurigeno, there was someone I was downright bad at, and yet it must have been the start of a surprising, singularly charming story: Edwige Feuillère....

I arrive one afternoon at rue de Longchamp in Neuilly. Rather banal building. I get on the elevator, my throat a little tight: I felt her authoritarian. They open the door for me and show me into the living room, I find it a little too pink, a little too sweet. She enters. Not very much makeup on; she wears a funnel neck sweater. Her body no longer has the firmness of my memories. Still, there is the way she carries her head. It's her, but she's an old woman.

Today, I'm sure she saw it all in my eyes in a second. So, she pulled out all the stops. She offers me a seat on a couch and sits next to me, almost thigh to thigh. I move back. She raises her eyebrow and just says: “You are sitting very badly. Lean on the cushions.”

“Sorry, but I can't work like this.” “Okay, I'll take the cushions away.”

And we start. She responds, but very quickly interrupts me and brings her face closer to mine. "Ah, now that I see you with my glasses on… But you have very pretty green eyes," with that voice that makes all screens shudder. I do not know where I am. I pick up the thread as best I can.

“You read my book! You are indeed the first journalist who comes to see me for this book to have read it.”

I stammer. I am getting worse and worse. I bend down to turn on the tape recorder. She lifts my face, touches my hair, on the forehead, to the right. "But you have a strand of white hair. Is it natural or are you doing it on purpose?" There, I feel that I am confused, maybe even that I blush, I flounder, I sink. That’ll teach me to betray that, in her sweater, I couldn't find the one I had placed on a pedestal at all. I'm mad at myself, but at her too. Now she wants me to eat chocolates. And tell me that she is a great reader. As if! I wonder what literature she likes, but I don't feel like digging. I want to go. She goes to get my item of clothing, a black leather jacket and helps me put it on. She runs her hand all the way down my back and says, still her voice, "I love the feel of leather.”

Okay, she's seventy-seven, I'm thirty-three, but she took over and covered me with the ridicule I deserved. Let's run away together.

I was not at the end of my punishment, though. I listen to the tape. I am lamer than lame: I don't raise the right questions, I don't push her to explain, I say totally incongruous things. Nothing to get out of it. Unreliable. And, to make matters worse, she wants to reread before publication. What to do? Meet with close friends to whom I dare not even speak out. Common sense advice, but easy to say: "Try to remember what you wanted to know, what she started to say when she stops and you forget to start her again. Rewrite everything: there will probably not be a word of what's on the tape, but we'll see what she says about it." A whole weekend, for an interview page in Le Monde. And a close reading by my friend Monique Nemer. Questions at last intelligently formulated and answers reconstructed, but perhaps just a bit “off.”

On Monday, the interview is printed. Two hours later, Feuillère on the phone: "My little one, it's absolutely perfect...I've never read an interview so true to who I am.” That’s when I realized she was extremely intelligent.

She offered for me to see her again. She told me about what she read. A very sure taste for literature, the classics—she had not forgotten Claudel's lessons. She was very attached to her hand-annotated edition of Dante's The Divine Comedy in Italian—her father's nationality. She gave it at the end of her life to Hector Bianciotti, whom I introduced to her. But she had a curiosity for everything that was published—I brought her my favorite recent books—and the eclecticism of avid readers. She happily returned to Claudel's side, but discovered with the same interest Philip Roth, who made her want to reread Joseph Roth. Dante would bring her back to Philippe Sollers' side, and she would go back to the Italian side to read Svevo and Elsa Morante. She read the ones I told her about: Eudora Welty, Anna Maria Ortese, Annie Ernaux, Danièle Sallenave. But Highsmith's murky tales seemed too worrying to her. When we went to dinner, I always tried to convince her, to make her love this "black queen” without much success.

When she played at the theater at night, we used to go to lunch. She seduced me in every way—because she liked to seduce, because her conversation was brilliant, humorous, her language sometimes deliciously old-fashioned. One day when I was talking to her about a man, she said to me, “Alors, vous êtes éprise?” (“So, are you in love?”) with a sort of ‘h’ sucked in front of "éprise.” She lunched “en chapeau” (“in hat”) as it should be if you arrive in a restaurant wearing a hat, but nobody knows how to do it anymore. After coffee, without using a mirror, she reapplied her lipstick. She would sometimes use an indignant grandmother's voice to say, "My little one, stand up straight. This is an absolute rule.” When I complained about a married man who liked neurotics—those who harass you to snatch an evening, a weekend—and I told her that I hated these behaviors and that, asking for nothing, I did not get anything, she punctuated with a laugh: “But my little one, this is the story of my life! Men, if not burdened with recriminations, give nothing."

I loved going to see her at the theater. The presence on stage of a person with whom you have a form of intimacy is always moving. Anguishing, too. When, at the Théâtre Montparnasse, she took over La Maison du lac with Jean Marais, I went there almost every evening. Marais-Feuillère, for the last time, you had to see and see again. One day when she invited me to lunch in a restaurant near the theater, whose old-fashioned and provincial character, like the clientele, amused us, she reproached me: "Stop coming to the theater!" Seeing my crestfallen face, she added, “But this is not a good play! How can you listen to these banal lines over and over again?” “Of course, it's not Claudel, but I'm not coming for the lyrics, I'm coming for your shoulders and for the melody.”

“Cheeky and incorrigible, that's what you are. So, come on tonight, I'll introduce you to Jean."

Juliette Gréco, who laughed at this improbable friendship and imitated Feuillère so well, would sometimes call me, mocking her voice. I hesitated for fear of saying to the real Feuillère: "Stop your stupid jokes! " One morning, I hear Feuillère's phrasing on the phone, too over-played for it to really be her: “My little one, I had a great time last night.” And Juliette Gréco tells me, with her own voice and the tone of a kid delighted with her triumph, that she was at a party the day before, and that seeing Feuillère at a table she approached silently, passed her arms around her shoulders, and leaned over say to her ironically: "So, are we seducing the same young woman?"

Despite my protests, I admit that I was rather entertained by imagining this scene between these two. The tastiest was yet to come. Call from Feuillère, the same afternoon: "My little one, we mustn't tell Juliette Gréco that we are seeing each other, she is very jealous"

I joked: "No, she knows very well that we have incestuous loves.” “Incestuous, perhaps, but not Sapphic.” There is no one left to utter such phrases!

Talking about her relationships with women, one day, when once again I had just passed a passionate admirer on her doorstep who was chasing her and whom she received, while remaining aloof, even disdainful, I joked: “You are a tease.”

“At last, my little one, how dare you?”

“Sorry, but it's the truth!”

She didn't comment. I thought of Sartre telling Sagan, who was cutting meat badly, that he could no longer cut himself: “Respect is lost."

I was a little ashamed: I had crossed a line—thin, barely perceptible, and yet very present, beyond which she wanted to safeguard her unalterable dignity. More than Claudel, it was Mallarmé's Hérodiade that she made think of: "Who would dare touch me, a respected lion?”

- Josyane Savigneau on her friendship with Edwige Feuillère in Point de côté