#are narcissists dangerous? is a narcissist a sociopath?

[truelovescamrecovery]

Narcissist? Sociopath? What...?

Narc, narcissist, sociopath, psychopath. Call them whatever you like, as long as you truly know what you're facing and what that means.

Narcissist or sociopath? Sociopath or narcissist..? Or just narcissistic? Please… know what you’re truly facing. Narcissist or sociopath…? There’s a feeling for many people that a “narcissist” isn’t a sociopath. The category of NPD is thought by lots of people to be different and “better” – meaning not as bad as a sociopath. It’s normal to hope that someone is not “as bad” as something that’s…

[ethereal-hollow]

Body language "experts" be like: if someone does these things they're actually a lying murderous psychopath :) *proceed to list things I do because of my autism, other mental issues, or culture*

[qqueenofhades]

Hello, qqueenofhades!

I just want to say, that ever since I discovered you in the week following Biden stepping down, you've actually made me not dread talking about politics. I look forward to your thoughts on what's going on, and I want to thank you for that.

I would love to know: What do you think of the apparent exhaustion from Republicans/MAGA about Trump? People leaving his rallies (and that's not even covering how few are even coming at all or his supposedly needing to pay people to come), and the slew of formers we see at the DNC openly talking about their change in sides. Do you have any ideas about what might be causing this shift? Was it Harris? Was it Jan. 6th? Was it one singular reason, or multiple at once?

Hope you're having a good day.

I think it's a lot of reasons. First, as I said earlier, the whole theme of the DNC is about reclaiming the USA FREEDOM message from the Republicans, who have had a monopoly on it for the past three decades at least and used it to justify even more antidemocratic fascist militant theocratic hard-right turns. The scenes of joyful people talking rousingly about hope, compassion, morning in America, and breaking out into regular USA! USA! chants appeals a lot to the average American, who doesn't want to hear constant violent and negative bile from the Orange Felonious Traitor, because that is literally the only thing he has to offer and it's getting openly more deranged and dangerous every day. The whole Tough Talking Populist Outsider shtick worked in 2016, when Trump didn't have four years of incompetent chaos as the actual president and was just a theoretical concept who a lot of people thought would "smarten up" and take it seriously if he actually won. Likewise, the backlash of white grievance against Obama and the complacency that Trump didn't actually stand a chance was able to be leveraged against the decades of smears that the GOP had already leveled on HRC. Of course, Trump lost the popular vote by 3 million-plus, but the Electoral College did what it's designed to do and he snuck in anyway. But it wasn't a rousing landslide or a thumping victory.

As such, a lot of Reagan Republicans are now turning to the Democrats as the actual pro-USA party, because Trump trash-talks America, calls it a shithole third-world country, bellows about WWIII and the Great Depression, cozies up to foreign dictators, etc etc. Reagan also pitched the sunny message of America as the shining moral hero of the world (he in fact used the Make America Great Again slogan that Trump repurposed), and that likewise resonated with people after the chaos and unrest of the 1970s. Now, we all know that I hate Reagan's ass and I hope he's burning in hell for so many reasons, but his message was effective because it gave people a soaring rhetorical vision to believe in (even while he was often stripping away their economic prosperity in particular behind the scenes, all together now, FUCK REAGAN). But the Republicans who joined the 1980s party are now seeing Republicanism become a tawdry cult centered on, as Geoff Duncan (GOP former Lt. Gov. of Georgia) put it yesterday, the worship of a felonious thug. Trump is wildly anti-America; he only uses it as a vehicle to get what he wants, because Donald Trump is all that Donald Trump cares about. Yes, there are still plenty of brainwashed cultists in numbers great enough to make this election far, far closer than it should ever be in any sane universe, but increasingly even his own cultists don't want to hear it anymore. They keep leaving before the event is over and he's drawing far smaller crowd sizes than in 2016, which as we know is pretty much all he cares about. He has a desperate need for attention and approval to feed his damaged narcissistic-sociopath dementia-riddled brain, and he's just not getting it, while the very real prospect looms that if he loses this election (and it looks more and more like he will) he will go to jail for the rest of his life. Terrifying.

That's why we have the unprecedented spectacle of lifelong Republicans and former Trump voters flocking to Harris in large numbers. We've had Republican speakers at the DNC every night, and they keep playing video montages of former Trump voters disavowing him or explaining that they won't vote for him. If you consider what propelled Trump in 2016 -- conservative white grievance against a black guy named Barack Obama -- the willingness to unhesitatingly embrace a black/mixed-race WOMAN named Kamala Harris is incredible. Many of them were already planning to vote for Biden before he dropped out, but it was no certain thing that they would move from being willing to vote for an establishment old white guy to also being willing to vote for a woman and a person of color. The fact that we've had so many high-profile affinity group Zoom events for Harris, including from truly unbelievable quarters (Republicans for Harris, Mormons for Harris, EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS for Harris), shows that there is a country-wide exhaustion with Trump's poisonous selfish grievance performances, where he's willing to do anything to anyone and turn the USA into a fascist dictatorship if it will exempt him, personally, from the consequences of his odious actions. That is not a message that any sane person can support, and more and more, they don't. As I have said before, that is why fascist movements always sow the seeds of their own destruction. They work for a while, but eventually they're boring, they're mean, they're exhausting, and they offer nothing for anyone but being angry all the time at everyone. Most humans don't like that, and eventually, they drift away.

I also think that part of the reason Kamala absolutely nailed it with Tim Walz as VP is because Walz is the literal anti-MAGA in every way. We have seen a lot of similar straight white military-vet football-coach-type Middle America older men drift into MAGA grievance politics because it offers a home for guys like them and feeds on fear of the future and fear of the other. They feel like they're being heard and understood, even if they aren't, and they vote Republican because they've grown up with Republicans being the pro-America party (however defined). But because Walz is a straight white married military-vet football-coach guy who actually models a joyful and compassionate masculinity, an openly emotional and supportive masculinity, who talks movingly about his love for his wife and children, who is a hunter and gun owner who nonetheless loves kids more than guns, who has taken his small-town rural-America values and become an effective and genuinely progressive politician focused on making ordinary people's lives better, he offers a total antidote to MAGAism. He shows that it is possible to be a traditionally manly American straight white guy who is not a gibbering conspiracy theory-addled shitbag dedicated to trampling on everyone else out of reactionary fear. He shows those guys that they can embrace the diverse future and not have to fear it, and he gives them a permission structure to vote for Democrats because it's the right thing to do AND feel that the Democrats are now the real pro-America party.

Basically, right now, Walz is the most popular member on either ticket, and he's crushing Vance into oblivion (there's something like a 27-point difference in their favorable/unfavorable spreads) because Vance is a horrible robotic hateful gremlin and Walz is an authentic and genuine person who a lot of traditionally Republican-affiliated men (and women!) can identify with. He's also the guy who came up with the devastating "weird" attack line that the GOP can do nothing with except splutter and whine, like playground bullies, that no YOU'RE THE WEIRD ONE. He models that it's actually normal to want your leaders to be compassionate human beings who want to use power to make your lives better, and not hateful fascist alt-righters dedicated to making you also hate everyone and be steeped in doom and gloom. That is why people responded so well to Obama in 2008 after the turmoil of the Bush Jr. years, and why this feels even more monumental than Obama. We won't know until the votes are counted, but this giant tsunami just rose out of nowhere when Harris took over, and it's speeding forward in a really incredible way. We've got to do the work and we've got to vote, but if we do, we could absolutely pulverize Trump and MAGA to smithereens in a way that means it wouldn't be able to come back for a good long while, and oh, what a glorious day that would be. So yes.

[growling]

*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

[theambitiouswoman]

Spotting Red Flags: How to Protect Yourself from Toxic Relationships

In the early stages of dating, it can be easy to overlook red flags in a potential partner because we're so caught up in the excitement and romance. However, ignoring these warning signs can lead to unhealthy and even dangerous relationships. Here are some common red flags to look out for:

Disrespectful behavior: If your date is rude, condescending, or dismissive towards you or others, this is a major red flag. Respect is a foundational component of any healthy relationship.

Inconsistent communication: If your date is hot and cold with their communication, this could be a sign that they're not interested or that they're not emotionally available.

Controlling behavior: If your date tries to control what you wear, who you see, or what you do, this is a major red flag. This behavior can escalate into emotional or physical abuse.

Dishonesty: If your date lies about their past or their current situation, this is a major red flag. Honesty is essential for trust and intimacy in a relationship.

Lack of empathy: If your date is unable or unwilling to see things from your perspective or show compassion towards others, this could be a sign of narcissistic or sociopathic tendencies.

To protect yourself from toxic relationships, it's important to trust your instincts and listen to your gut. If something feels off, don't ignore it. Pay attention to how your date treats you and others, and don't be afraid to walk away if you see any red flags. Remember, you deserve to be with someone who respects and values you for who you are. Not just when you are behaving in a way that is convenient to them.

[bethanydelleman]

Goes on Facebook Jane Austen Fan Club because I forgot why I started avoiding it

Writes something about Mary Crawford

Response: Mary has many talents of manipulation. She is beautiful and she uses that to bring people in, they "trust her" but don't realize that she is dangerous because her motives aren't pure. Some would call her a covert narcissist/sociopath.

And I delete the Facebook app once again

[hadesoftheladies]

FEMALE MOVIE/TV RECS (PART 5 / HORROR & CRIME DRAMA)

got inspired from a recommendation post so decided to make a list of movies and shows with female-centric stories/female protagonists. since i can't post all of the genres in one post, i'll split it into multiple posts and y'all can save or add to the list as you wish. (disclaimer: i have watched most of these, but i only know about the existence of others. not every movie/show on these lists will be my recommendation. my recommendations will be beneath the list with reasons. also some of these are way better than others in terms of storytelling/performance--which is why i'll list my faves separately):

Common Themes:

-Dangerous girls (they ain't innocent)/ girlhood as violent

-Stressed out and melancholic female detectives and authors (lots of drinking/smoking)

-Mothers who've seen too fucking much to play games/I'm a good mother until it doesn't let up

-Women handling shit/getting shit done

-Mothers who didn't want to be mothers but here we fucking are so might as well handle shit

-Evil women who are also unfortunately hot

-Female sociopaths (not always negatively portrayed)

HAVEN'T WATCHED

The Royal Hotel

The Silent Twins

The Kitchen

The Lost Flowers of Alice Hart

I'm Thinking of Ending Things

Sharp Objects

Killing Eve

Abigail

Heavenly Creatures

A Quiet Place Part 2

Panic Room

Alice, Darling

Blood Red Sky

Rust Creek

The Marsh King's Daughter

Pearl

Longlegs

GOOD STUFF (NEVER WATCHING AGAIN THOUGH!)

Bad Sisters (8/10) (sisters plan to kill their sister's abusive husband)

Yellowjackets (9/10) (love as cannibalism)

Candy (7.5/10) (she's just a killer lol)

Cruella (6.5/10)(help my mom is a narcissist and it's hereditary)

Jennifer's Body (7/10) (boys aren't people lmao)

Bird Box (8/10)

Under the Bridge (8/10)

PERSONAL NOTES

I watched Tragedy Girls years ago, and I remember being grossed out and having a lot of fun as well. If you like Jennifer's Body, you'll probably like Tragedy Girls, too. And if you like Tragedy Girls, you may also enjoy Thoroughbreds. All three have a twisted sense of girlpower.

The Call isn't scary so much as its nerve-wracking and upsetting. It's not gory (although there is violence), but it deals with heavy subject matter. I can, however, promise a satisfying ending. Even though I doubt it would put you at ease.

Horror is my least favourite genre so bear that in mind. I just hate jump scares (because I hate being startled) and I don't like gore though there are times where it doesn't bother me so much. So this is definitely not an exhaustive list on horror recs. Crime is as close as I usually get to such dark stuff so I put the dark crimes, psychological thrillers and horrors together. I don't even want to talk about these that much because I'm nauseous already.

Watch at your own risk.

[the-blue-fairie]

Hot take but Elsa the Disney character isn't a sociopath.

I made a post recently venting about (what I felt to be) a deeply odd comment someone made to me in the past, and that got making me thinking about an accumulation of posts over the years that have made me uncomfortable:

This post calls Elsa “a bit of a sociopath.” Its use of the term “sociopath” is both frivolous and ableist.

A while ago, @greatqueenanna and I were discussing this mentality (because it had emerged in more people than the individual I am currently citing) regarding Elsa and she reached out to a friend who, for the sake of his privacy, I shall call BG. He’s diagnosed ASPD (Sociopathy) and works as Clinical Psychologist, specifically with patients who have severe divergences (ASPD, Narcissistic Personality, Histrionic, Bipolar, Schizophrenia, etc.)

I will now share portions of his email response:

"I want to point something out that is very important to the idea of Elsa being a sociopath. Elsa’s entire persona revolves around her guilt. Elsa feels responsible for the accident that happened to Anna. She is burdened with guilt for her parents’ efforts to accommodate her powers, and then their deaths. The eternal winter and the spirit invasion left her with a heavy load of guilt. Elsa feels guilty that she wants to follow the voice and discover more about her powers.

Guilt, guilt, guilt. If you’re tired of the word guilt by this point, then I’ve made my point. Elsa is not a sociopath, foremost, because she feels guilt. This is important because empathy is the key between sociopaths and empaths, and that’s why I wanted to focus on this first. Sociopaths don’t feel guilt.

Next, Elsa’s key problem is her lack of self-worth; the complete disassociation from her own needs and desires. This is not an issue with sociopaths. With this in mind, Elsa shows a bit of recklessness in Frozen 2, but it’s not from a place of boredom or a need for power. It is from a place of trying to defend those she cares about. There was a fire, she tried to stop it from hurting others. She needed to find answers about the forest to save everyone, so she jumped into the hole. Elsa gets no real benefit from these actions; meaning it doesn’t qualify as the same recklessness a sociopath would do. Her lack of self-worth makes her able to just throw herself in danger and push others away from it. Her recklessness comes from a place of martyrdom.

So, we’ve ruled out three key features of ASPD – no empathy or guilt, a grandiose sense of self, and recklessness out of boredom or desire for power. Now let’s talk manipulation; especially since it seems like no one understands what that means. From good ole’ WedMD, we see that Manipulation in the clinical sense is the - ‘exercise of harmful influence over others. People who manipulate others attack their mental and emotional sides to get what they want. The person doing the manipulating, called the manipulator, seeks to create an imbalance of power.’

Does Elsa ever try to make someone feel inferior, try to induce self-hatred, reinforce self-damaging behaviors, or get them to mistrust others? No, Elsa does none of this. She does it to herself."

Outside of F2, the claim that "Elsa doesn't care about anyone other than Elsa" is nonsense. In F1, Elsa isolates herself because she wants to protect others. She wants to protect her family, the sister whom she loves. She wants to protect the people around her. Many of Elsa’s worst traits actually emerge from caring for others at the expense of caring for herself - and those traits are only present because of her trauma and because of the way she was raised. In Frozen Fever, Elsa devotes herself to Anna because she loves her and wants to give her a perfect birthday, even though Elsa herself is sick. She puts Anna first. In OFA, she reaches out to apologize to Anna after closing the door again, she is shown to be a loving sister, a loving queen, protective of Olaf, etc.

The statement that “nobody [was] ever thinking of her (except for Kristoff in the last 3 years of her life)” is misguided because it disregards not only Elsa but Olaf. I’m all for loving Anna’s and Kristoff’s connection (I’m a Kristanna shipper myself, after all) but to say she had no one else is untrue.

This person also made statements like this:

And this:

Even hotter take from me, but Elsa the Disney character is not reflective of real-life cases of domestic abuse and incestuous violence. I realize you dislike her, but she's just not. She is a character in an animated film for children.

This mentality wasn't just her either. There was another blog that described itself thusly...

...which openly admitted that:

If your Anna fanblog never was much of an Anna fanblog but instead an Elsa hateblog, that says something about you and how negatively you approach the media you consume.

You cared more about hating Elsa than loving Anna - so much so that you put your original intent of loving Anna to the wayside. There’s something sad about that.

If you had a whole blog dedicated to screaming that you wished a fictional cartoon character had died, that isn’t healthy.

And it wasn't just those two blogs:

I saw various posts like these over the years, but held my tongue because I didn't want to be branded an "Elsa stan" or get yelled at. I did get yelled at by verannaca in 2023, however, because she rudely came onto one of my posts about Elsa to say that "Elsa was the villain." I replied with the definition of villain from the Oxford English Dictionary and told her to chill, then she got angry at me for writing an "unnecessary essay" when like... SHE came onto MY post. If she hated Elsa so much, why did she seek out MY Elsa-centric post?

It was just... an ugly miasma of negativity and I hope that, when Frozen 3 and 4 come out, blatant misreadings of the text don't become popular again. I understand Anna fans' frustrations with Elsa's popularity and I myself have expressed issues with the writing of especially Frozen 2, but...

I really don't think I'm an "Elsa stan" for saying statements like "Elsa isn't a sociopath" and "Elsa isn't reflective of incestuous violence."

Still, I love Elsa just as much as I love Anna, just as much as I love Kristoff, just as much as I love Kristanna and Frohana and the Northuldra and everything else. We're united by love, first and foremost.

[libbee]

Why I Think That 8th House Placements Are Most Valuable

OBJECTIVITY:

During my 8th house initiation, I met not one but 10+ bad people back to back; they were coming into my life one way or the other as if a bee attack. In the beginning I was very frustrated to see all these narcissists and sociopaths around me, but later on I started peeling my own layers and realized that I was not an angel like I thought. These encounters were like a mirror to me, they showed me what I could not see otherwise in myself. They showed me my own vanity and narcissism. They showed me my own darkness, ignorance and blind spots. I thought I was a normal person until I realized I was actually an emotionally manipulative asshole who had simply not matured yet. And this trickster exists in everyone, but they do not realize it until they go deep within. Most people live their lives on surface levels, while those who do go deeper keep their lives private and secretive so you would not know their affairs unless you are personally involved with them. The reason for keeping their lives private is that the world does not seem to understand them, the world ridicules them and outcasts them.

VANITY DETECTION:

8th housers and scorpio placements have an inbuilt vanity detector in them. They can tell who is being insincere, self-contradictory, manipulative, arrogant, who has ulterior motives, etc. They will physically feel sick and disgusted around people who do and say superficial things. Their disgust pushes them to seek answers that are beyond superficiality. This is why 8th housers run from public eye because they want to stay away from persona as much as possible while being true to their emotions and authentic self. These natives learn from their experience, which is why they try to be the most authentic that they can because they want to be that one source of true light in this blind world of superficial niceness and social performance.

TRAUMA AS AWAKENING:

8th house gives trauma like no others. But these traumas, after you have gone through the duration of it, will show you hidden insights. They will push you away from material life and deep into spiritual layers. You will see deeply materialistic natives turning spiritual and emotional. Nobody knows true empathy like an 8th houser because they have actually known their own narcissism and its impact on others. They know how dangerous they can be because they have seen their own darkness, which is why they show true kindness and empathy towards everyone. These natives know that even if the situation gets very bad, they will still survive and come out on the other side with a bag of lessons to understand and accept. These natives are the type to ask "What if I was in their shoes? Will it still be so funny?" this is why they can be so kind, understanding and empathetic.

DISSOLUTION OF EGO:

Self actualization is their favorite hobby. The thing with 8th house is that it forces you, breaks you, crushes you to your extreme limits. It tests your limits. It tests how much you can bear and still survive. And this house is deeply psychological. So the events and trauma of life really deeply impact the ego of the native. No matter how hard shelled they were, they are forced and crushed to the ground until they awaken. The native suffers so much, so much, so much that the suffering finally breaks their ego attachment and helps them see their own ignorance and blind spots.

In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice. ― Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

DARKNESS:

While it appears that the rest of the world who do not have 8th house placements can live a conventional life blindly it is the 8th housers that are being faced with revelations and setbacks that are hidden and complicated. These setbacks are so "below the surface" that the 8th housers are compelled to analyze people and wonder how others can live their lives so carelessly and still be highly functional. It is the 8th housers who are being faced with the darkness of psyche again and again until they surrender to it and begin to explore the irrational and unconscious side of the life. There are two worlds: one in which the non-8th housers live and the other in which the 8th housers live. The world of 8th housers is deep, beneath the surface, seeing the hidden patterns between people and situations, seeing the hidden patterns between people and their fate. They are forced to look at the world this way otherwise they keep encountering problems in physical life that have no solutions.

TRANSFORMATIONS:

8th housers go through a lot of revelations and transformations. While other people can live their lives with same set of beliefs, thoughts, perspectives, ideals as ever; 8th housers are always being faced with shocking, manipulative, psychically controlling situations that make them change their whole beliefs and perspectives and start again, only to be challenged again by another psychic complex. Their whole life is a series of complex psychological problems that they have to change their beliefs about people and events from experience all the time. While others can be living their life through a breeze, 8th housers wonder why they are making errors in judgment, why they find themselves in complicated situations though they had good intentions, why they are being tested though others seem to be winging it easily.

8th house placements are not for the weak-hearted. Whoever said that humans are sweet kind angels can take a hard look to all the cruelty, wars, murders, rapes, crimes, genocides that happened in this world. Is that what you call sweet kind angel? There is potential for cruelty in each one of us, no matter how self-righteous and strong willed you claim to be and nobody knows this better than 8th housers/plutonic people. In their own journey of self discovery, they will see the images of their own devil, trickster, all the wrongs they have committed unconsciously in past, all the secret fantasies, the evil dark thoughts they hide from the world. These natives know their darkness, they do not claim to be saints because they are not. Nobody is.

[equalperson]

things to do if you're looking to unlearn anti-PD sanism

as advised by an avoidant narcissist.

understand why phrases like "narcissistic abuse" are sanist: despite society encouraging anti-abuse morals on the surface, many of the things that motivate abuse--such as sexism, childism, queerphobia, ableism, and other forms of oppression--are normalized. most abusers aren't persodivergent, and most persodivergent people aren't abusers. yes, you can vent your trauma however you like, but not at the expense of other victims.

stop using PDs as insults: "narcissistic" is an obvious one, but this shouldn't just end at narcissism. stop calling people "paranoid," "antisocial/sociopathic/psychopathic," "borderline," "histrionic," or any other diagnosis to belittle or attack them. even if you aren't claiming that they really have these diagnoses, these words are so closely associated with PDs that it will inevitably reflect back on us.

find alternatives to PD-related insults: think about what specific behavior you're criticizing. more likely than not, it can be better described as "abusive," "toxic," "violent," "dangerous," "manipulative," "hateful," or any variety of real insults.

think about why you see PD behavior as worthy of belittlement: it's not enough to just replace one word with another, you should think about why you used PDs as insults in the first place. what's so wrong with being grandiose, hyper- or hypoemotional, insecure, or attention-seeking, especially to make them need "extreme" insults like "narcissistic" or "psychopathic?" addressing oppressive attitudes is a thousand times more important than addressing oppressive language alone.

stop insulting, ostracizing, or otherwise discriminating against people who show signs of PDs: diagnosis or no diagnosis, to see someone as worse than you for their cognitive or emotional functioning is ableist. there's no wrong way to think or feel. question why you see intense or shallow feelings (along with other persodivergent traits) as necessarily obnoxious, malicious, or dangerous.

learn about sanism, especially from persodivergent people: sanism is extremely normalized, yet it's very obscure as a concept. learning about sanism can make it easier for you to identify it, both in yourself and others.

question how psychiatry treats PDs, but not PDs as a whole: psychiatry is objectively biased against persodivergent people. the names are shallow, the diagnostic process is biased, and the treatments are far less proven than most therapists would have you think. however, persodivergent experiences are real. we do experience the world differently. the issue is how our experiences are treated, not whether or not they actually exist.

at the same time, know your place: if you're persotypical, don't speak over us. if a narcissist says they like the term "NPD," don't correct their terminology. if someone talks about being diagnosed as borderline, don't assert that it was a misdiagnosis. so on and so forth. claims of allyship mean nothing if you see yourself as more of an authority than we are.

don't defend us with sanist rhetoric: saying that we're "valid" because we're traumatized, selfless, loyal, or suffering just encourages the belief that our existence needs to be justified. we deserve not to be oppressed because we're people, not because we're necessarily "virtuous." many of us are callous, selfish, manipulative, or have no history of childhood maltreatment, but that doesn't make us any more deserving of how society treats us.

[karatecaulfield]

heyy, can you pls write about kwon headcannons of him dating a high functioning sociopath, since he's all about being dominating and being heartless but he dates someone just like that, even worse

Sociopath!Kwon Jae-Sung x Sociopath!Reader Headcanons

Warnings: semi-toxic relationship, sociopathic and possibly narcissistic themes, mentions of rough sex/degradation

A/N- thanks so much for the request! I hope you enjoy this, I had fun writing this one<3

this kind of combination would be kind of lethal. especially for the karate community. Kwon and his sociopathic s/o could not be stopped under any circumstances

at the end of the day though when he has his pick, he would always chose his s/o to spar with because he knows that you will be both the greatest challenge and his best chance to get better

two people with similar personalities like this would likely butt heads a lot, even when it comes to small things there would be a lot of bickering until a compromise is finally made

don’t even get me started on how things would be in the bedroom for this kind of pairing. him and his s/o would be constantly fighting for dominance, but never wanting to let go of their pride and hand it over

this results in some seriously crazy, seriously rough sex that can sometimes be damn near animalistic. lots of dirty talk that borders degradation and lots of marking each other

his version of pillow talk is being a smart ass about what just happened, making crude comments about the noises his s/o makes or how he finally learned what else you can use your mouth for (besides also being a smart ass)

this kind of talk more than often ends up resulting in a round two because there is no better way to let off some steam and shut someone up than having angry sex

when it comes to fighting outside of a tournament he would rarely defend his s/o because he thinks that his partner should be able to defend themselves. unless he sees that you’re in genuine danger, he will keep his distance and let you fight your own battles

for the most part he knows that you can handle your own shit, and that’s why he picked someone like himself. the more violent and ruthless you tend to be, the more proud he’ll be to be dating you

no matter what though his own pride comes first. he is very good at preventing his s/o from becoming a distraction, and you would be the same way. his honor and yours is the most important thing to you both

[truelovescamrecovery]

Leaving a Sociopath, a Narcissist: 5 Breakup Musts

Leaving a narcissistic user is no ordinary breakup. It’s an escape from terror, abuse, and harm. Five steps ensure safety in the break up from hell. The break up is up to us. When disengaging from what we thought was the most amazing relationship ever, but has turned into pain and something scary, the ending is often up to us. They may cling on, but we get to end it. Once you’ve left that…

[the-90s-music-colosseum]

Round 2 Group D Match 6

expand for propaganda! (major wall of text warning)

Henry Rollins:

"Honestly, Johnny Mnemonic Henry with the glasses and the lab coat was pretty hot"

"A wonderful physical specimen. Plus he’s really funny and weird….best hot ones interview of all time."

"I want him to run me over with a bus"

Stephen Malkmus:

"i can't even stand stephen malkmus but there's a very special girl out there who needs this win"

"My perpetually stoned, nonsensical girlfriend...if we don't invent the time machine soon I might die. He's like 6 ft tall so unfortunately I'd be like one of those birds that ride on giraffes and eat bugs out of their fur. And then I'd die in a weed accident during the recording of Wowee Zowee? Before that though I'd spend 25 hrs a day in bed with him. Alright thanks"

"Stephen Malkmus chronically addicted to moaning and gasping in Pavement songs like he’s getting the best dicking down of his life in the back of the tour bus while everyone else is asleep"

"This is the indie-label match, right? Then it has to be Malkmus, he *made* the scene. And he's still releasing excellent music today. He's just the most influential rockstar of the 90s."

"my gay pavement fan uncle gets out of prison tonight and he knows you ratted him out in '06. the only way to make this right is to vote for stephen"

"Pretty please vote for him, my friend loves him and he really wants him to win"

""There were times he refused to speak to his bandmates, pulling a jacket over his head and referring to himself as "the little bitch"." I have also heard him refer to himself as a brat, a queen, a primadonna, a sociopath, and a narcissist. All of these descriptors have made me want to slam him against a wall and turn his neck fun new colors."

"I mean, Pavement is THEE indie band of the 90s. The lowkey snark, Koreaaaa, so much style that it's wasted. And Malkmus is an understated cool rockstar: the hair, the face, Silver Jews! He never ever sold out. He's the 90s."

"the most beautiful man ever he looks like a gorgeous fairytale prince. he has been hot since he emerged on the scene and continues to be so as their reunion tour comes to a close. stephen forever"

"we have to consider the autism swagger. find me a pavement write up that doesn’t spend three paragraphs waxing lyrical on his inability to make eye contact. find me a YouTube comment section that doesn’t have hoards of moms swooning over his flat affect. his refusal to wear anything more formal than a flannel for the first decade of his career? genuinely culturally influential. 30 glorious years of expressionless performances. sunglasses in the dark. so many straight men falling over themselves for him they made a joke about it in the Barbie movie. raw tbh sex appeal. and he’s got a great nose"

"he had a couple of unfortunate haircuts during this period but highkey i would break both of my arms to just be able to make out with him. please vote for SM my life is in danger if you don't"

[ordinaryschmuck]

Alright, last time ever that I’ll talk about Velma. I promise.

Because I’ve been extra salty towards this show all week, and I don’t want to take it further than that. Talking nothing but bad stuff about this show for the entirety of its run is exactly what the writers want. They want us to hate watch it so we can talk about each new atrocity the show brings up week after week, and call us haters or anti-woke propagandists. When, in reality, they don’t give a FUCK about any of that. They don’t care about other races, genders, or sexualities. They just WANT you to think they do. Know how I can tell? Because I’ve SEEN genuine attempts of representation.

THIS is a genuine attempt of representation. Matt Braly, the series creator of Amphibia and a Thai-American, felt like Thai culture was underrepresented in media. So, he not only made his main character and her Thai, but he also dedicated subplots and entire episodes showcasing the culture he wanted to represent.

THIS is a genuine attempt at representation. Dana Terrace, series creator of The Owl House and open Bisexual, wanted a main character that was explicitly bi to finally help kids feel like they’re seen. To help give the representation SHE always wanted.

But when I look at Velma? None of it hits the same.

This isn’t a genuine attempt for representation. This is Mindy Kuling turning a character into a self-insert to make herself look smarter than everyone else and the most important person in a narrative. Truth is, this Velma is nothing more than a sociopath, narcissistic dipshit who thinks she’s better than everyone else but is actually more aggravating than endearing.

So...Good job representing YOURSELF there, Mindy.

And this?

This isn’t representation. This is a shield.

A way to protect the show from any criticism because it couldn’t possibly be bad. They have gay characters! Gay characters are good in everything!

Except that is the LAST reason you should include gay characters! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE more LGBTQA+ representation in media. What I don’t love is obvious attempts to pander to audiences just to avoid criticisms. And keep in mind, this is NOT the first attempt a creator wanted to make Velma gay.

James Gunn wanted to make her gay in the live action movie, but WB said no.

Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated (the GOAT of the Scooby-Doo franchise) wanted to make Velma gay, but could only imply it because Cartoon Network didn’t greenlit Steven Universe yet.

THOSE are genuine attempts to make Velma gay, to represent people because the creators of both products agreed that it was the least they could do.

But making Velma and Daphne a thing just to protect a show is nothing more than shallow and inconsiderate of the hard fight dozens of people put up with for the sake of representation.

And, honestly, I’d be a little more forgiving if the writing in Velma was good. But it’s not.

Within the first minute, this show features...

Cockroaches having sex...

And fifteen year olds taking a shower to make a joke about how over-sexualized a series’ pilot can be.

First of all: FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME FIND THIS SCREEN SHOT FOR A POINT!

Second: You lose every ounce of credibility that you actually care about people when one of the first moves you make in your series is to sexualize minors for the sake of a joke.

A joke that doesn’t make sense at that. Point me to a series pilot that’s over-sexualized. If you get more than ten, I’ll say you have a point. I won’t say that sexualizing minors to make it was a good thing, but I’ll at least say that, “Yeah. You’re right. So many pilots do this. SO STOP DOING IT!”

That’s the level of writing Velma has. And it’s why they have their “representation” to protect themselves. Meanwhile, you want to know the level of writing you’ll find in The Owl House and Amphibia?

Villains who prove that the most dangerous people are the ones who make the rules.

Jokes that are actually funny.

Likable main protagonists who are kind and caring to the people around them.

Protagonists who have heartfelt relationships with other great characters, to the point that it breaks your heart to see them leave each other.

And on top of that, actually good representation. But here’s the thing: The representation isn’t only genuine. It’s a bonus. Something great to add onto everything else the writers and the creators do right.

What it isn’t is an attempt to protect a show from what it does wrong.

And that’s it. That’s the LAST time I’ll ever talk about Velma. I really mean it this time.

Talking about this show past it’s premier is already more attention it deserves. And if you were smart, you would not only stop watching, but stop talking. The best attention to give something you hate is NO attention.

If you really want to waste time, waste it by watching something good, like The Owl House and Amphibia. They may be kids shows, but they have more maturity than a single second of Velma.

[oopsallfictives]

The pop psychology idea of psychopaths and sociopaths persists for the same reason people buy into the idea of “narcissistic abuse”, and the same reason psychotic or plural killers are such a common trope. People who don’t fit into those groups find comfort in the idea that people only harm others because they’re mentally ill or neurodivergent, because it means that all they have to do is learn how to recognize those neurodivergences and they’ll be safe. If they can recognize a psychopath or psychotic person, they’ll never be murdered, if they can recognize a narcissist they’ll never be abused again. It’s an attempt to make a terrifying world feel safer

Which doesn’t make it okay to buy into or spread these ideas. Mentally ill people aren’t actually the reason the world is terrifying, and learning how to spot us isn’t going to keep you safe. If anything, it’s going to put us in danger because now everyone thinks that having low/no empathy or a personality disorder or psychosis or being plural makes you unsafe to be around. People are afraid of us, they think hurting us counts as self-defense. And I’m sorry, but your feelings of safety do not outweigh our actual safety

[gregor-samsa-said-i-could]

Humans are terrifying

Recently (like today, a couple hours ago) I came across this whole "humans are weird" and "humans are space orcs" trend and I have been furiously reading every post I come across. The subject, besides enormously entertaining, feels like a collective sociology debate or something where we describe, using aliens as some sort of audience, the most diverse aspects of human nature. Like some metaphor we're using just to enjoy what we like about ourselves as species.

And, honestly, most of these post are wholesome, cute or even funny but for some reason I feel drown towards the ones that explore the darkest and more gruesome aspects of human, as species. Now bear with me because English isn't my first language but hear me out:

Humans as apex predators. Aggressive humans. The liars, the vicious, the wreckless... It probably goes on and on, since I know for sure I have only touched the tip of the iceberg in my reading.

So, what I'm trying to say it's that sure, it's cute to get along with other species and ride their ships and impress them with our special talents and "properties". But what if we didn't?

What if aliens were afraid of us? What if protocols aren't such a thing after some centuries and there were all kinds of roge, pirate-like, human vessels and colonies around? What if we murder, hunted, ate, assaulted and cheated?

Imagine the horror in the souls of the soft, pacific aliens who are accustomed to their ancient ways of sharing, caring, and respecting, when they suddenly find themselves dealing with a new species that is as unpredictable as it is dangerous. Picture humans hunting a specific kind of alien because their meat is said to taste like some sort of addictive delicacy or because they have horns or nails made out of certain material that sells extremely well in the black market? Imagine humans flirting their way into power only to betray those who entrusted them with everything. I'm pretty sure apex predators can do that and more. The actors. The ones who can laugh at a Roomba with a knife taped to it as if it isn't something a little disturbing to begin with.

They can do horrors. They live in horror.

And aliens pray every day to not find those humans.

Because they all look alike. When and alien meets them they all smile and pat each other. They all ask questions out of juvenile curiosity and offer what they have, no matter how little. But they all can also have scars and sinful grins. They all can stab you in the back. And if you happen to meet the ones who will, you know is gonna be hard to scape. Because humans are some sort of fucking Land Rover-like beasts, specially on their adrenaline fueled moments. How can you avoid becoming the next barbeque? I don't know.

What about serial killers? Sociopaths? Psychopaths? There are a whole lot of new species to mess with. Imagine a narcissist gaslighting the hell out of some naive alien who wouldn’t understand why and how they are being mistreated, yet remains infatuated nonetheless. Dead bodies appearing on the ship in gruesome ways, as if someone were playing with their anatomy, portraying the dead aliens as some sort of spectacle, as if they were trying to say: "Look at what I did, this horrible, horrible thing". Aliens wouldn't understand, nor would they be ready to deal with the absolute disdain humans can sometimes have for life itself.

Even suicide...

I don't know why I find it interesting to think about these kinds of aspects. I'm not precisely enjoying it, but I just find it interesting. It's just some sci-fi headcanon, but still... Humans have so many shades, so much dark in their light. I don't feel the fantasy is complete if I don't consider that as well.