#are VERY IMPORTANT TO ME TO EXIST and now im like fuck man do i just abandon the whole possibility and like plan for a hysto intead

[felidaefatigue]

debating making a death first to vultures and scavengers political poster about danielle smith trying to pawn off albertan hospitals to catholic providers tbh

[pankomako]

sometimes i think about interactions boat and i have had and things he's said to/about me over the years and it makes me feel as though i must occupy some little space in his heart. like i live in his mind rent-free the way he does for me, although not nearly to the same extent lmao.

speak of the goddamn devil i just got a steam notification he's playing tf2

anyway i never thought i'd have that kind of effect on a person, much less my favorite content creator. but it sure appears to be that way, and idk. it makes me feel special. warms my heart n all that :)

[genderqueerdykes]

Idk if this is the right place to go but I'm not quite sure where else to put this. I'm very sorry if it's not the right place!

As a trans guy, I just have to wonder just how bad my luck is with trans women blogs and my general interaction with trans women IRL???

I'm stating it now that every single person can be an asshole. No matter their gender. I know I'm just having severely bad luck. Trans girls are forever my sisters and I'll back them up if I need to.

But also, why am I only encountering trans women who unironically want to put trans men and trans masculine people's heads on a spike.

I've close genderqueer friends but never managed to become friends with a trans girl yet (I know a few I'm acquainted with, as an art student in college - trans people of all shapes and sizes are a dime a dozen here) because at some point the fact they fundementally hate trans men comes out into the open. It's scary. Why are we in-fighting? Why does my sheer existence hurt you? The cousin of my crush is a trans girl, and she threw such a fit when she heard her cousin was going to go on a date with me. Not that it matters, relationship didn't work out (we're great friends) but I had never talked to this woman!! Ever!!!! My crush just relayed to me at the time that she did not like me because they told her I was a trans guy!!!!!!!

Trans men who hurt them obviously should be held accountable. They're pieces of shit. Again: every gender can be a fucking asshole. But why generalize? Why would you suddenly ostracize me if I revealed myself as a trans guy to you instead of a butch woman when we've had nothing but pleasant conversations up until now?

I feel like I'm being oversensitive, or that I'm making a big issue out of something so minimal. But why are we in-fighting? Why? Why, why why???

you're not being over sensitive, this is a genuine problem right now and it's affecting people in real time. what people don't seem to care about is that this deeply hurts and affects the people who are being ostrasized. which is something people should care about

you're not imagining things or anything like that and your experiences are very important to be discussed. it is quite literally "the right thing to do" or "cool" or whatever to shit on trans men right now. like currently, in 2024, almost 2025, we are seeing now more than ever, people who proudly hate trans men. this is transphobia. people NEED to care. you're not alone in feeling this way. even i feel this way, and i'm an intersex trans wo/man. i shouldn't have to feel this way, i'm literally a trans woman and i'm made to feel weary about other trans girls suddenly hating me when they find out i'm also a trans man because gender is complicated and being intersex is a complex experience

people will gladly openly hate on trans men. we are now the sacrificial lamb. we are now the punching bag. for a while people really hated cis gay men. like really hated them. the "im twinkphobic" shit was literal overt homophobia and nobody cared. everyone was on board with hating cis gay men for one reason or another. a lot of people were calling feminine cis gay men transmisogynistic, or transfem eggs. now things have shifted and its trans men who are the big problem.

rad feminism is taking over large parts of our community and people refuse to talk about it. people are happily rad fems, and a lot of trans girls identify as transradfems, which is just about as transphobic as you can get. it's never progressive to hate someone for their gender. ever. it's always transphobia. i don't know how so many trans girls got it in their heads that rad feminism just needed to accept trans women and trans women only for it to be a good ideology. i've said it before, but the unfortunate truth is a lot of trans women are desperate to feel validated in their womanhood, and some see man-hating "lesbian" women as the most "woman" thing you can be, as it's the "direct opposite" to being a man. trans women will gladly walk down this path for the sake of gender euphoria and attacking trans men because they're taking someone else's gender personally.

it doesn't matter if you don't see trans men as trans- we are. trans men are trans. transgender, transsexual, transvestites- doesn't matter. trans men get called trannies, too. trans men get misgendered. trans men face corrective rape. it's seriously not cool to see trans men as "copying" trans women, or whatever. i've seen people claim that trans men are really just masculine girls, and that it's okay for women to dress masculine so we should just do that instead. i've seen people say that trans men literally aren't trans because who would want to transition into manhood? i've heard people say that trans men just transition to hurt people. i've heard that trans men aren't "real" trans people and "Aren't trustworthy" sources of information on trans experiences

it's ridiculous. people are completely blinded to what the real problem is. the real problem is the queerphobes above us. i'm with you: why are we infighting like this again? what's the point? the entire point of the queer community is to accept people who step outside of the cisheternormative panopticon we've invented and enforced. it's such a broad array of people. not all experiences will be the same. manhood is desireable, just like womanhood. manhood is not inherently toxic. it's not something everyone wants to escape.

i sincerely hope people wake up and start realizing this is doing nothing but helping conservatives, terfs and transphobes. it's not helping other trans girls. some trans women are also trans men. intersex trans women exist. multigender trans women exist. genderfluid trans women exist. some trans women are also men and we're shooting everyone in the foot by behaving this way.

like do people not realize there are trans women who are also men? you're alienating all of these women with all this man hating. you're not just hurting cishet and trans men here: you're hurting every possible group of person. not every trans woman despises the concept of manhood. wanting to transition out of manhood doesn't mean you have to hate or condemn it. manhood being bad for you doesn't mean it's bad for everyone else

i hope you start to feel better soon. you are more than welcome to come back any time, it's really pervasive right now, but we have to stick together and challenge it when we see it. we have to remind ourselves that this is absolutely unhinged entitled behavior that doesn't reflect how trans men are treated in the real world and how we operate and function. it's shitty but fortunately there are lots of trans women who are allies to trans men. it's a very vocal minority that hate trans men that badly

[ender-cloud]

That new TGS update made me physically ill holy shit! Spoilers under cut

I feel like we all knew that this would happen but I wasn’t actually ready for it, Like god Lanyon you truly were screwed over

THIS MADE ME LIKE AGAHBAGWGAVEVS!!!

Also after this the “I wanted to be the person you needed me to be” makes me just feel so agshabaggas JEKYLLLL!!! It broke my heart and im still not ok.

Even after jekyll admitted it was him Lanyon still wanted to find an excuse how it couldn’t be at first and it’s just like, Lanyon! You can’t be doing this to me man!

Also, just, Jekyll saying that Hyde was a mistake is a punch to the gut, because i get how he can think that but Hyde is still like a part of Jekyll he separated from himself! Does he think that part of himself was a mistake? Or does he think that ever separating Hyde from him was a mistake? Because these two things can have very different meanings.

If he thinks that part of himself was a mistake: he hates a part of himself that he cant control which is something a lot of people experience but its still not ideal, But its also Fucked up, Because Hyde has become his own person and Jekyll is acting like he Dosent exist, like Hyde can’t hear all of this

But on the other hand if he thinks it was a mistake separating Hyde from himself might mean that he can see that maybe it would be better if he still had that part with him and this shows his growth from who he used to be. Finally realizing that it still makes him, him, again something some people need to overcome in real life.

Though it is most likely the first option but i can only hope its the second

I know that Lanyon’s reaction is probably the most important but I really want to see Jaspers and Rachels reactions too because we havent even gotten a glimpse of them in the background and it’s just heightening my curiosity, because Rachel was close to both of them so she’s the one im most interested in after Lanyon.

ANYWAY! BACK TO THE PAIN!!!

Im going to be honest i think Lanyon is valid for this because yes it has been 2 years and He and Jekyll have been friends for long enough to where you would have this trust base relationship.

Also they just got together romantically which would fuck up Lanyons mind even more. Like way to go Jekyll breaking the foundation of trust in a relationship in your first day of being in one. I can see how he might feel like his feelings are being played with, Hyde would avoid him, and ive been mentioning this so often but like if someone you thought was your friend and they had an Alter ego that avoided you wouldnt you be hurt?

I feel like im shitting on Jekyll a lot, and I don’t mean to because I like Jekyll!! Dont get me wrong!!! But you have to admit that it is his fault, he’s not always the victim, its the people around him who’s being affected by his actions. It was Jekyll’s choice to continue to drink the potion, it was Jekyll’s choice not to tell Lanyon, there was no outside force making him do this.

And you can’t say that Hyde was making him continue to drink the potion because for 1; i doubt that in the beginning Hyde would be able to bother him that much only starting out, im sure it was another thing that developed over time with the potions use and 2; as we saw Jekyll could’ve thrown away those potions on his own terms at any time, he didn’t have to make more.

I just wanted to make this known because i feel like it needs to, do i like Jekyll? Yes. Do i feel bad for him? Yes. Do i think he’s the victim in the situation? No, because of the reasons above. But really, I don’t hate Jekyll, and its not like its always his fault, no, but in this situation it was his actions that lead to this.

I got really sidetracked so heres some of the other images i saved because this is getting really long.

Them both crying Makes this so much worse like, these two almost never show their emotions around people, and now in front of everyone they are about to breakdown, it just makes my chest tight, God dammit Sage this Chapter was painful

[lucentdreamzzz]

a very appropriately unhinged review of will wood's music (except for icimi)

I rate every will wood song because wtf else do i do with my pathetic life

6up 5oh Cop-Out (Pro/Con):

10/10-fuck yes we are BOPPING. we are CRIMINALS. we are STARTING OFF STRONG!

Skeleton Appreciation Day in Vestal, NY (Bones):

4/10-okay we are kinda bing chilling. it’s okay :P kinda triggers me a lil cuz it reminds me of EDs???

Front Street:

10000/10-YESSSSSSSSSSSS YES YES GOING FERAL INJECT THIS INTO MY FUCKING VEINS!!!!!!

¡Aikido! (Neurotic/Erotic):

4.7/10-it slaps a liiiiittle but not that hard. like it kneads. it kneads not slaps.

White Knuckle Jerk (Where Do You Get Off?):

9/10-it both slaps and i can jumpscare ppl with the surgery line??? fuck yes sign me up!!!

Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine):

2/10-ew too slow. yucky nasty bleh hiss ew hiss

Thermodynamic Lawyer Esq, G.F.D.:

8.5/10-i hold ur M O M in contempt

Red Moon:

10/10-CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED. ME WHEN I WALK THE EQUATOR CHASING THE LIGHT.

Lysergide Daydream:

5/10-mid!!!! muh-muh-muh-MID!!!

The First Step:

9.5/10-MUNCH. OMNOMNOM DINNER NOW. IM JUST A BOOZIN BASTARD,

Jimmy Mushrooms’ Last Drink: Bedtime in Wayne, NJ:

1/10-this exists???

Chemical Overreaction/Compound Fracture:

10/10-when ur an unhinged girlie in the middle of a yeehaw desert

Everything is a Lot:

3.5/10-deep but the deepness doesnt stop it from being too slow for me

Destroy to Enjoy:

7.5/10-surprisingly good for laundromat ambience and chanting??? we r bodhisattva we r buddha dying waking up ig <3

Self-:

7/10-too good for a 6/10 but not good enough for a 8/10. still slaps tho

2012:

9.5/10-FUCK!!!! (inhales) (iwasanexistentialcriminalsoinnocentlycynicalignorantasfuckbutaproudindividual-)

My mom also likes it :D :D :D

Cotard’s Solution (Anatta, Dukkha, Anicca):

8.4/10-starts slow but then GOES UNIMAGINABLY HARD!!!! jumpscare ur friends with it!!!

Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer’s Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus):

8/10-me when i try to replace myself.

The Song With Five Names a.k.a. Soapbox Tao a.k.a. Checkmate, Atheists! a.k.a. Neospace Government (A.K.A. You Can Never Know):

30/10-WOOO BABEY. OH MAN OH MAN THIS FUCKS SO HARD. IF IT WAS A PERSON I WOULD MAKE BABIES WITH IT-

THE SONAR WEEOW WEEOW WEEEOOOWWWW AT THE BEGINNING THE SUNSHINE IS A GASLIGHT PART EVERYTHING IS JUST HJADFKHNF

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!:

8/10-if i ranked it any lower i would self-crucify <3

Dr. Sunshine Is Dead:

7.8/10-i love the funky little way he sings “i fumble for the switch”. you go buddy.

-ish:

6/10-good close to the album but NOT FUNKY ENOUGH

Suburbia Overture/Greetings From Mary Bell Township!/(Vampire) Culture/Love Me, Normally:

9/10-ITS ONLY CULTUUUUUUREEEEEE!!!! AND IT SLAPS!!!! WILL WOOD COOKED FRFR

2econd 2ight 2eer (that was fun, goodbye.):

8.5/10-this actually introduced me to william woodsmith :explode: the nostalgia is def a factor

Laplace’s Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!):

100/10-hehe gender

I/Me/Myself:

7/10-g e n d e r

…well, better than the alternative:

3/10-very sweet but too slow for my megamind

Outliars and Hyppocrates: a fun fact about apples:

9/10-i did not know this existed??? still kind of a bop

BlackBoxWarrior-OKULTRA:

10000/10-THIS SLAPS HARDER THAN AN ASIAN PARENT WHEN YOU BRING HOME A B

Marsha, Thankk You For the Dialectics, But I Need You To Leave:

7.5/10-me at therapy

Love, Me Normally:

2/10-boring ew tomato tomato

Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world:

8.5/10-SHOW TUNE ABT DEATH AND ITS INEVITABILITY YESSSS

Venetian Blind Man:

8/10-THIS IS SO UNDERRATED?????

Your Body, My Temple:

7.5/10-will wood had his whole willussy out. this song is so unapologetically horny

Yes, To Err Is Human, So Don't Be One:

9/10-silly vampire bop!!

[ironyscleverer]

Can I do a little rant about Nate Shelley for a sec? Im gonna rant about Nate Shelley for a sec. Just becuase for a show about masculinity and healthy relationships and self-love, I HATED how they handled his character arc so fucking much.

Nate starts off in season 1 as this meek, nerdy, short, chubby Asian man who's routinely bullied by the guys (players) that he works for. He's very specifically disrespected becuase he's not conventionally masculine. It's important to note that Asian guys especially are emasculated a lot in society, doubly so if you're shy and/or brainy like Nate is.

But then once he starts getting a little respect and attention from Ted, we first get to see his confidence grow, but then we also start to see a nastier side of him emerge. He uses his new position of power to feed his insecurities and he becomes vindictive, cruel and resentful. He takes it out on his players, his former bullies, but even then he chooses the weakest person to pick on (ie Colin, who's a closeted queer man as we discover later).

And I actually think this part of the arc is really well done and interesting; it feels very real and throughout season 2, even though he's absolutely horrible, I can still see how it's stemming from a place of pain and bitterness. Being part of a system that abuses and disrespects you, especially when race is a factor, can really turn people sour and warp their perception of reality. Frankly, I think I would have a lot less sympathy for Nate's character if he was just another resentful white man, but his being brown really adds a lot of layers to the character.

And it's important to note that even once he becomes a coach Nate still suffers becuase of how he presents himself! The people at Richmond do occasionally make jabs at him (Jan Maas and the suit), and you can't tell me the situation at the Greek restaurant wasn't some kind of racist power trip. Even though he has more systemic power now, he still doesn't get respect becuase of how he exists in the world.

In that context, his choice to go work for Rupert at the end of season 2 makes complete sense. Richmond was a toxic environment for him given his past experiences there, and he was not going to get the mentorship or understand that he needed. I hoped that his season 3 redemption arc would involve him untangling his victim complex, learning to trust and stand up for himself, and looking out for people who are weaker than him (so basically this fic lmao). Basically, I wanted him to step up to the challenge of being a head coach and really confront his insecurities and their roots. Maybe he could've talked to another coach of color or something. I don't know.

The direction they went in with Nate in season 3 was so frustrating to me because he ends up right back where he started at the beginning of the show; at Richmond, working as a kit man for a bunch of white people. Sure, he's forgiven by Ted and he learns his lesson about power, but none of the actual, very understandable hurts on his end are really addressed. He's right back to the same environment he was in before, sans locker room bullying. He isn't allowed to grow or distance himself from that chapter of his life. (the writers also decided to just give him a girlfriend and make that fix everythin which I don't appreciate, but that's another essay entirely).

If I had it my way, I would have had him do the whole scene with coach Beard, reconcile with Ted, but respecfully tell them that he can't go back to Richmond. There's too much history there, and even if they've forgiven each other, it would be a bad environment for him. Then Nate and Ted/Beard/others can have a new relationship as equals, built on respect, rather than a boss/employee dynamic. But maybe that's just me being delusional.

Anyway, in conclusion, Nate deserved a better ending and I'm disappointed that they didn't give it to him. Thank you for reading this completely unedited rant, I may do another in the future about Ted Lasso's queer rep or its female characters. Lmk if you want to hear it.

[assmaster-8000]

OKAY NOW THAT IM FINALLY FREE PREPARE FOR MY ASKS TO STEADILY FLOW IN BECAUSE YOU GET ME™️ was having thoughts about waking up to cécile thanks to your artwork (other things were going on that didn’t involve sleeping anndkss) but idk something about the softness of that vs him is just…it does something to me okay

also having thoughts about him fighting the urge to look at you in a certain way while you interact with gael

also having thoughts about taking advantage of him being off duty

and your tags on my fic meant sooo much to me, thank you again I’m so happy you liked it, talking to you about him made me think how important picking up on his body language would be for your mental sanity, and you’d have to be damn good at it too

no literally!!!! waking to cécile KILLS ME BECAUSE OF THAT ONE ASKKKK 😭😭😭👊👊👊👊

nsfw mention in the last paragraph

WHAT DO YOU MEAN CÉCILE DOESN'T SLEEP THE WHOLE NIGHT BECAUSE HE'S TOO ENAMOURED BY THE VULNERABILITY YOU'VE SHOWN HIM BY FALLING ASLEEP IN HIS BED AND THE VULNERABILITY YOU'VE PRIED OUT OF HIM FOR EVEN LETTING YOU BETWEEN THE SHEETS?????? OR MAYBE HE'S SCARED AS IN SO VERY SCARED OF THE WAY YOU'VE DESTROYED HIM BEYOND REPAIR BECAUSE NOW THAT HE'S HAD YOU HE'S GONNA KEEP WANTING YOU TILL HE HAS ALL OF YOU AND THAT THOUGHT IS MORTIFYING TO THE CLOSED, HOLLOW HEART OF HIS??? OR MAYBE HE HASN'T SLEPT NEXT TO SOMEONE IN SO LONG THAT THE FEELING OF YOUR BODY IS TRULY FOREIGN TO HIM AND HE CAN'T HELP BUT LEARN ALL OF YOU EVEN WHEN, OR ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE ASLEEP????????????? WHAT THA FARRKKKKK i think the first night with cécile is gonna be 𝓯��𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 because he's denied you for so long that he just... snaps. he snaps and he'll have you no natter what. but after the sex, after the passion? he's angry, shocked— scared. what have you done to him? and he has to get up early in the morning because he can't stand the thought of you seeing him like this past the lust BUT HE STAYS ANYWAYS UNTIL YOU WAKE UP. IM SICK. IM FUCKING SICK. RAVENSTAR DEVS ARE YOU HAPPY TO SEE ME CRY?? CÉCILE IS ALL DRESSED AND CLEANED UNTIL YOU WAKE UP AND KNOWING ACTS OF SERVICE IS SEWN INTO HIM, HE MIGHT HELP YOU FRESHEN UP BEFORE HE GOES OFF TO WORK. HE'LL SAY IT'S BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU TWO WITH YOUR ' GRAVE INABILITY FOR DECORUM' AND MAYBE SO BUT CÉCILE, FOR ALL HIS CUTTING FORTHRIGHTNESS, HAS THINGS HE CAN NEVER ADMIT. SO HE'LL ALLOW HIS GAZE TO LINGER ON YOU BEFORE HE GOES BACK TO FIGHTING OFF AN UNBIDDEN DESIRE (DESIRE? LUST? NEED? HE DAREN'T THINK OF THE OTHER DIRTIER WORD BEGINNING WITH 'L')

ahem. pardon my french i got a little carried away! also a certain way goes so many ways here LOL i think for the most part he'd just be looking at you like you're a roach buzzing around gael. his master is a respectable and noble man and you're... you 🤨🤨🤨 unfortunately he can't let his face do all the talking because believe it or not, gael doesn't want his bodyguard to stare murderously at his guest.

the other way is the one that screams with conflict. again i really have to know what cécile thinks of his love for mc in relation to his love for gael because i have no doubt that even when you reach the end goal and become cécile's world, gael is still gonna mean so so much to him. at that point, would he sacrifice everything else for you? yes. but he knows the world includes gael too and it's a part of him nothing, and i mean nothing can heal. what im trying to say is; does cécile feel even more pained, looking at you when you're standing right next to his master only in name, now? can he stand to look honestly at gael when the bane of existence and the recipient of all his need makes things so fucking difficult? he has never been on gael's level, and for good reason.

he has no right to ask for gael's forgiveness nor understanding - even though gael would forgive him in every life time like jesus willingly kissed judas - but he can't help but... need to know. just this once, the loyal hound strays and he's sorry. he's so, so sorry. please know (yes, i know) that he did not go willingly (of course you did, and it's okay), that he will always love gael (i have no doubts about that, but it's about time you have a love to call your own, now - a master and a pet only for you).

and he can't help it, the smaller feeling crawling underneath his skin. that the exact same master he loves so dearly could treat you better than cécile could by miles— gael could sweep you off your feet, and cécile wouldn't even be angry.

also sorry but 'taking advantage of him' while he's off duty snapped me out of my angsty mindset and immediately got me huffing like a dog. heartbreak time over, we're pulling cécile into a bathroom stall to suck that dick till it's blue and black before sending him off again 🤷

[bluestarlett]

now that it's over

i figured i might as well go out with a bit of a bang and yap about some minor things in Cosmic that actually are really important to the story :]

some spoilers below

first of all, the symbolism of 7!

some of it was unintentional,

HOWEVER.

Cosmic ended with 27 parts.

It started on the 17th and ended on the 17th (exactly one year later mind you), and has 47k words total.

Also, in the final fic, each of the long spaces between deaths are exactly 7 spaces!

Some of this was just unintentionally convenient, however, 7 is Asteria's number.

There is a hierarchical arrangement of the gods, and before Aster is killed, she is the 7th god, with Psyche being 6th and Gaea being 8th. (scylla does not count here. Scylla is not a god.) However, after the ego death (this is what i've titled the incident where gaea, you know, kills her. can you tell im interested in psychoactive culture?) Gaea's placement shifts and he is the 7th god.

So yeah! Lots of importance with the number 7.

SECOND!!!

THIS LINE IS VERY IMPORTANT!!

i cannot stress this enough, NOBODY IN COSMIC IS "good" or "bad". ALL of them fall into a very ambiguous moral category and these lines, aside from being a Chemical Overreaction/Compound Fracture reference, put a lot of subtle emphasis on that!

I say this because Gaea says that 'bad things' will always happen to Aster, meanwhile her ending is, despite what it may seem, very good. Meanwhile, Gaea's situation is. extremely bad. He is being impaled. skewered perhaps.

None of them are meant to be likable characters. Not completely anyway. In the same sense that you must remember that Seraph has cut out Saturn's throat and screamed in Aster's face, you must also remember that at some point Gaea loved Aster. This does not excuse his actions; it does not excuse any of their behaviours.

They do not belong in right and wrong!

Third!!!

The Euthanasia reference is a call back to one of the first Cosmic fics ever! Specifically, the third part in the series!

this callback was actually Always supposed to exist, believe it or not! :]

FOUR!!

Here's a master list of all the song references!

" He breathes into the silence," = Fish in a Birdcage, "As I breathe into our silence, there's a voice that comforts me"

"Like a tune you can’t get into your head," = White Noise "They fill the halls with tunes you can't get into your head"

"The pain echoes through the frame of his body and six feet down" = Venetian Blind Man, "Lord knows I've said awful things in this house, they echo through the frame and 6 feet down"

"watches like a terrified child, unable to fathom the depths of such treachery" = Ballad of Weird Dog, "I can't fathom the depths of your treachery through all history"

"Everybody dies, fighting for their lives." = Euthanasia, "And every, everybody dies, fighting for their lives, just trying to survive"

"She is alone, at the edge of the universe." = Introduction to the Snow, "Alone at the edge of a universe, humming a tune."

" Even in death, his fingers and palms are warm and full of love, even despite the scars." = Language of the Lost, "But these fingers and these palms, full of love despite the scars, show indisputably; I have so much room to grow"

“And I know that it’s selfish. To try and disconnect my hand from the damage it’s brought." = Hospital, "Put in terms I can understand, this wound is all I've got, but I can't disconnect my hand from the damage that it's brought."

“How could you love me? When you should despise me?” = When Somebody Needs You, "And you looked in my eyes and said, 'how dare you love me? When you should despise me, you should be scared of me."

"There you are, you coward." = Get in the Water. Do I have to explain this one?

"This is a fucking nightmare." = an actual Dream reference, shockingly.

"Are you upset, because you’ve finally gotten the notion that you mean nothing?" = Would You Be Impressed, "Now you're upset because you finally got the notion that everything you had is spinning down the drain"

"Nothing to you, maybe. But a broken heart can mend." = God Games, "Tell your lover that a broken heart can mend."

"Always the angel, and never the god. How sad," = Not Strong Enough, "Always an angel, never a god."

"The way that lungs feel as if they’re being smothered, begging that her mind not snap and her heart not break; not now." = Venetian Blind Man, "Mind don't snap and heart don't break, not now; no, not like this, any but this breakdown!"

"as if you haven’t spent an eternity screaming for a life you can not ever have." = BIGSHOT, "I'm screaming for a life that I cannot have!"

“Ever waits for me." = Time Machine Reprise, "Oh, live the dream in a time machine, I've been waiting forever; now I know ever waits for me."

"Your maze has been replaced with the door that you asked for," = But Never A Key, "Gone are the days where you're endlessly racing towards Pavlov's reward, now your maze is replaced by the locked door you asked for."

"when you’ve never slept a night in your life." = My Goodbye, "What's a title that a goddess could lend if I'll never sleep at night?" + We'll Be Fine, "Life could be that bright, I could sleep at night"

"Bad things happen to good people. That’s the unfortunate truth of the world, Atlas." “And good things happen to you.” = Chemical Overreaction/Compound Fracture, "Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to... me." (bonus, "He lunges at her with the force of a chemical overreaction")

"Not after He shoved her into the water, and she fought her way back to the surface and carried herself to land." = BIRTH OF VENUS, "Learned how to breathe underwater while my lungs begged me for air, I fought my way to the surface and carried myself to land."

"She will not die again. She will live forever, at least tonight." = Dream + Introduction to the Snow, "We will not die" + "You'll live forever tonight."

"I am sorry you’ll never be free." = But Never A Key, "Lo, that's the way that it goes; I'm sorry you'll never be free."

"the only thing that matters within deep, dark sound." = Stranded Lullaby, "A million moments meant remembered rest in deep, dark sound."

"they have disappeared like smoke and she is alone." = Race, "then it disappears like smoke, and you're alone."

"Perhaps that’s what it means when somebody needs you." = When Somebody Needs You, "Well it seems that that is what it means, when somebody needs you."

"She is twined in Mind, in Soul and in Heart." ...obvious.

“Can you believe we really made it?” “Obviously not.” = Becoming the Lastnames, "Crack a smile at my vows and whisper, 'wow, can you believe we really made it?' As I give up on dodging rice and fold my cape, I say 'obviously not.'"

"despite the loose ends which have been crudely tied" = Loose Ends, no lyric.

"suspended in such an impossible kind of bliss" = White Ball, "such impossible bliss."

"all of the else fades away." again, obvious.

"But her thoughts are not who she is. They are white noise." = White Noise, "I know it's hard, but they're not who you are. They're white noise."

I'll add more to this later, but rn im sleepy as fuck

[bigassbowlingballhead]

so we all know that my dreams are weirdly hyper realistic and plot driven so buckle the fuck up.

number one: everything (like, the rules of reality) was the same as real life except i guess my bf didnt exist (sad but necessary for the plot i suppose). im at thanksgiving at my parents house, which is a weekend long affair. tzp and redacted are married and also there bc they are my friends i guess. im definitely better friends w taylor than redacted but redacted and i get along and like each other. okay. the scene is set.

so, im preparing dinner with my dad and aunts like usual. taylor and redacted have slept in but taylor comes out to help eventually. he is fresh from a shower and wearing a very tight shirt. we talk while i cook and it’s clear that i need to fuck this man like, yesterday. within the dream logic, this is not the first time ive fucked around with him — this is a thing that we do. go me!

so we’re like okay, where can we go, bc i have a one story house and it’s full of family members at thanksgiving. i mean FULL. and redacted is sleeping so we dont wanna bother him, but there is literally nowhere that we can go that a family member wouldnt also be there and see us (damn you, open floor plans!!!) so what else can we do but go outside behind the pool shed, obviously.

now, it IS november in philadelphia, so it’s not WARM, but we’re making it work. i got this man bent over in a tiny corner of backyard, shirt fully off, making him see god. weve got our shoes on and mostly pants except for the important parts. hes not making as much noise as i want him to make (bc duh, we gotta be quiet), but im doing my damnedest to make him squeak, so im touching every inch of him that i can. i remember that i was thinking “i wish i had another hand to grab his hair, bc i already have one hand on his balls and the other on his dick and im not willing to give up on either of those for the sake of making him arch his back.” obviously this was a tough decision by me, but what are you gonna do. also at this point important to mention that i dont actually remember all the details, just flashes of stuff and general vibes. i was definitely like “hurry up and come man, we are on borrowed time here,” but taylor was apparently in no rush no matter how much i played with his dick. also at some point i put my hand on his stomach and could feel his abs and how he was moving every time i did and whew. that was hot.

so TRAGICALLY we were interrupted before the grand finale. i am not pleased but hey, if it’s time for dinner then it’s time for dinner. so i sit next to tzp at dinner and redacted sits on the other side and im TRYING to enjoy my MEAL but those two are definitely doing something under the table. whores.

things get a little weird and dreamscape-y here so i’ll skip most of dinner but the only relevant plot point that came up is i found out about something thats been seriously irritating me at work is happening again and so i was kinda pissed. but anyway.

so after dinner all the cousins decide to get in the pool which is insane to do bc it is NOVEMBER and my parents never even have the pool open at thanksgiving, but it’s my dream so fuck weather patterns in guess. so we’re all in the pool and taylor has clearly still not gotten off and redacted and i are having a good time messing with him, you know how it goes, standard pool shenanigans but nothing too bad bc my parents are RIGHT THERE so. keep it pg. but after we go inside?? oh all bets are OFF.

now here’s where things go bad for me. we go inside and we’re only in our towels and we’re all three looking for a place to fuck and we CANT FIND ONE. it’s only a three bedroom house and all three bedrooms are occupied. for some fucking reason we try my parents room first (which im glad was occupied bc i would not be down to fuck in my parents room, ick), but my little sister and my cousin are in there watching a movie with the little cousins, so thats a big fat no thank you. then we go to my sister’s room which yeah, i wouldnt feel GREAT about fucking in there, but it’s a redacteds threesome on the table and if i have to do it i will. but thats where my uncle and aunt are sleeping and hes in there napping after all the pie so thats another no go. so now im pretty pissed off bc of the work thing and also pls why cant we find a place to just FUCK.

so we go into my old bedroom and im thinking this will be fine, this is where redacted and taylor are sleeping anyway, (why didnt we go there first? whos to say) this will be open and we can get down. but we get in there and two people ive never met before are in the bed. what.

so my family tends to take in a lot of strays around the holidays. if you dont have a place to go for thanksgiving and you know a relative of mine, you are automatically invited to my parents house. theres always like 5-6 unrelated people at dinner just bc my uncle or cousin or whomever showed up and was like “i have extras!” and my mom is always like “dope! come in and eat!” it’s a lovely representation of the welcoming nature of my family and culture and it’s something that i always love to see around the holidays but it is also currently FUCKING ME OVER BC I JUST WANT TO BANG THESE MEN IN PEACE!!!

so im like “excuse me, with all due respect, who the fuck are you.” and the one guy was immediately rude (sir you are in MY BED) and was like “your mom said we could stay here so fuck off.” and im like??? YOU fuck off?? but then another part of me is like “no, your mother raised you better than that, you need to be welcoming to people so they dont feel unwanted.” the thing is that at this moment they are in fact VERY unwanted. so taylor is also pissed and redacted is trying to calm him down but keep in mind that taylor hasnt finished still so hes a bit bitchy. and redacted is like “what if we just went and got a hotel room somewhere,” and im like NO, we are in nothing but our bathing suits, we are all horny and ready to go, this is HAPPENING.

so i go back into my parents room and i ask my cousin hey have you seen my mom and also maybe you guys could watch the movie in the basement bc desperate times call for desperate measures and im not gonna fuck in my parents bed but maybe the floor would be fine. and shes like i think your mom is doing the dishes but why do you need a bedroom all to yourself? and i just gave her a look and i was like come on. why do you think. and she asked “ohh, okay, so wait, where do you see this going with taylor?” and i was like “oh it’s not going anywhere, he’s married to redacted, we just fuck around. it’s great, sometimes redacted joins, sometimes not, but it’s always a good time.” and she was somewhat scandalized and i was like oh right. within the context of my family that would be an objectively insane thing to just drop like that.

so anyway. after that the dream gets all weird and dreamy (there was some plotline with kamala harris i think? i think i worked for her? but she was actually also my irl boss interchangeably? idk). but thats the story of how i fucked taylor at thanksgiving in my subconscious. also i just remembered that while i was fucking him and had my hand on his stomach i could feel the outline of my strap through his abs. have a good day i love you 😘

the outline of your strap though his abs is CRAZY GIA. i love it.

also where'd the strap come from, was it stored behind the pool shed for safe keeping, are you just strapped at all times always ready to bend over a gay man? (me next)

[dullanyan]

i watched all of higurashi gou and the end of sotsu. i will post my review

(HIGURASHI SPOILERS, NOT JUST FOR GOU/SOTSU BUT FOR THE VN AS WELL)

these are my thoughts after watching gou, just copy-pasted from discord.

i think the actual worst thing abt gou is the fact that its not unwatchable. it does have some interesting parts, and i am a huge sucker for the antics the main crew gets up to. but in general its disrespectful? like to satoko especially. i can believe that her and rika drift apart a bit at st lucia, but rika is too committed to making sure everything is good forever, i really doubt she would just like not talk to satoko sure i can see satoko being like no im fine i dont need any help but rika knows her. she would know thats a lie and they'd talk it out overall its very dedicated to making satoko be really dense.

and the same for sotsu

honestly, i think the loops/eua didnt need to happen at all. in fact, in my head, none of it was canon. even the ending felt pretty dumb of like "oooohhh, we're the only 2 looping entities, we gotta avoid each other foreverrrr" like man shut up. its trying to hard to be toxic yuri but it just sucks bc its 2 characters that shouldnt be going thru that. what i CAN believe is like. either satoko and rika going to st lucia, getting into a physical fight over it, coming to terms with the fact satoko doesnt like it and its hurting her so she transfers from there to the normal high school the others went to. OR them getting in a fight over it beforehand and agreeing to go their separate ways to 2 different schools. eua felt completely pointless honestly. the loops were so... nothing. also i feel a little weird abt the teppei redemption. not that he cant change and stuff but yknow............................ also they literally remembered satoshi so last second and threw him in there HNFDKHDFNK "oh im awake now!!! :D" its been 4 years man the fight scene where they go thru different loops was pretty cool i guess. kind of felt waaaay over the top though when they went super saiyan miko mode. its cool for what it is, but also, it feels so excessive based on everything else in higurashi. honestly gou/sotsu probably wouldnt be.......... horrible? if it were its own anime and the vns didnt exist. but they do and so these just kind of.... really tarnish them imo. which is why i dont consider that shit canon. also its just weirdly abusive to hanyuu for no reason. idk what thats all about. she literally only got to have 1 good moment the whole fucking series. wadda hell man. the only good things i think gou brings to the table is a peek into their futures a bit, like what happens after w their middle/high school lives. the rest of that stuff didnt need to happen though im thinking abt it all and how little the main cast really got to talk to satoko and rika thru all this shit. when it came to that plot, its like the rest of them didnt even matter. you're telling me rena wouldnt pick up on satokos feelings and talk to her abt it??? how they wouldnt like try to figure out whats going on at all? its stupid. it focuses way too much on rika and satoko, neglecting the importance of the others. ultimately, i know why this anime was made and what its purpose is. i know its to appeal to the much larger audience of higurashi fans anime onlys that were in it for the cute girls killing each other. it was trying to do stuff for the vn readers as well, but it just fell flat bc in the end none of that shit needed to happen. i know its stupid to criticize a story on what should or shouldnt have happened, but you know. knowing what i DO abt the characters and how the vn stresses the importance of talking to your friends to work out your problems... it just, sucks that they threw that all away in favor of a ton of gore. at the end of the day, im not like, mad or insulted this exists. its whatever. plus it puts some higurashi merch back on the market so not everything is ultra rare 20 year old figures for $700. it doesnt really exist for me, as a fan of the vns. i dont even think its horrible, it had some enjoyable parts to it. its just not good, is all. thanks for coming to my higurashi essay.

those are my discord ramblings. now i ramble here.

for sotsu, genuinely it felt like i didnt need to watch the first 11/12 episodes. yeah, it provided new perspectives and included how things got that way, but... i read the summaries of those episodes and got the gist of it all. if i had more respect for the plot they were going for, i might've watched em. but i dont like it! it was a really weird character assassination of satoko.

i can believe her behavior to some extent- not wanting to lose her best friend but not wanting to subject herself to constant misery in an academy she cant keep up with. again, i feel like eua didnt need to exist, and they couldve actually worked it out from there. especially if they let anyone else like... matter? let them talk and reason with their friends?

tl;dr if you like the vns, generally gou/sotsu isnt for you i'd say.

[hopelesswritergall]

Taglist: @howyouloveyourdragon / @simp-aholic @daenerysapologist

Thank you @sapphire-writes for giving me inspiration. Your thin ice series was truly a Masterlist

Thank you @daenerysapologist for making me write this

Thank you @valeska-fics for beta reading this and reminding me that comma’s exist…….. You’re a legend

And of course my love @simp-aholic for being there for me :))

Let me know what you thought of this in the comments or hey… maybe even reblog and follow??? WOWOWWWW

A rather peculiar meeting

Cregan was one of THE star players for the White Stags. The ice hockey team that belonged to the university of Kingslanding

He had been playing ice hockey since he could remember. His first few memories he has were of him on the ice. Him getting his first skates, scoring his first goal and receiving his own very custom made Jersey.

Now this brings us to the modern day. Cregan Stark, the star player. He was a centre-sniper. He had the insight and intelligence (so he says himself) to be at the centre, he was the leader of the team. And of course he had to stand out and be a sniper. Making the most important goals.

All of this meant that he was adored by fans, not just from the university, but from everywhere in King’s Landing. They would come to your university just to watch him play.

You were never the biggest fan of ice hockey, due to not understanding it mostly. But eventually Helaena convinced you to come and see a match, because as she said “You need to have a social life. You can’t be a hermit forever.” Which you countered with “But I like how I am now.” At that response she just gave you the look.

So here you are, at the match of the White Stags, totally voluntary. Cough cough

It was during the second period that it went wrong. About ⅓ done with the game and at the 23 minute mark. It all went south

The sound of the crowd was almost deafening, they were cheering very loud for their beloved star player, Cregan Stark. You hadn’t seen much of him yet during the game so you didn’t exactly get the hype around the man. As the crowd began to go silent, you saw a tall man approaching the goal with the puck at his stick. He was weaving, dodging all the defending players of the opposing team. He pulled his stick back ready to swing and score… when he saw you. His heart stopped and he could swear everyone else around him disappeared and it was only you two. He didn’t think and with all his force he shot the puck at the goal only, he wasn’t looking at the goal anymore. He was looking at you. Without you or him noticing flew the puck with an abominable speed right at your face. And then it hit you. No literally the puck hitting your nose sent you backwards. As the crowd goes completely silent and Helaena looks at your face, her eyes widening and Cregan now realising what happened. As you slowly reach up to your nose, afraid of what you’ll find. When you retract your hand it is crimson coloured. Your nose wasn’t the shape it used to be.

“How bad is it Hel?” you asked her, afraid of what she would answer.

“Well, you didn’t like your nose anyways right? Plastic surgery wasn’t off the table yet?”

“Hospital?” “Hospital!”

And as much fun as you were having watching a game you initially didn’t like, you and Helaena rushed outside the stadium and she grabbed your car keys off of you.

“Omg it’s not an automatic?? BABE, I CAN'T DRIVE WITH A SHIFTING STICK!!”

“FUCKING LEARN, IT HEL! IM DYING OVER HERE!” you retorted

One hell of a car ride later.

“Remind me to never let you drive ever again…”

You walked to the emergency room and you got some forms to fill out. Name, age, birthday, how it happened and your insurance were all asked. As you handed them back in, you and Helaena sat down waiting for a doctor to come and help you. After what felt like an eternity, it was only 70 minutes, a doctor came to take you for some examination to see where the broken bone was and what they’d need to do.

After everything was done and they had manually readjusted your nose, they’d bandage it up. You’d gotten a nice gauze around it and secured it tight. You’d have to walk around like that for 3 whole weeks. Guess who’s skipping classes? No, not you, we aren’t that irresponsible…

So you went to all your classes and you just put up with all the weird looks people gave you. You hadn’t, however, seen or spoken to the hot guy who caused it all. You did door his friend, Jake? Jame? Jacle? Oh, Jace! Yeah, you did spot him a few times, but never his other half. It was the day that your gauze could come off that Jace spoke to you, which was weird considering he never did before.

“Uhm hey.. I don’t know if you’d still like to, but my friend would like you to come to another one. He promised he wouldn’t hit you again at the.. Uhm. Well you know.” He gestured to his own nose. “Fine. Sure, I'll be there. But I swear to god Jake,” “Jace” “I swear to god Jace if another puck hits me I’m done. And I don't care how cute your friend is, I won't see another match again.” With that said, you left to go study in the library. As you were walking away you could hear Jace say “I told you man. The Jace way always works!”

It was Friday and the day of the match. You were slightly excited to see the game, as that would mean you would see the cute guy again. Sure, he has broken your nose, but every couple has been there. Right?? As you entered the stadium and found a seat, you couldn’t help but think if he actually liked you, like that Jace guy had hinted at. Well, no more time to think about that. The players were coming to the rink. When Cregan came to the rink, everyone cheered, and that included you as well. He glanced up, and saw you sitting in the stands. He couldn’t help but make a plan to show you he liked you.

After the game was over, and won by the White Stags. Cregan skated over to where you were sitting. Hetook off his jersey, which had gotten whistles from a few people, rolled it into a little ball, and threw it at you. It hit you again…… this time it wasn’t as hard as a puck, but it still caught you by surprise. “What the?” As you looked down, you saw Cregan giving you the most adorable grin you’ve ever seen. He might look like a big confident guy but he wasn’t always. You gave him a smile as you put on the jersey. You would be going to a lot more games after that one.

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼 im loving the dynamics you're writing here and i am politely asking for more

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 chris thinks buck is his dad!!!!!! i love them so much

HI! THANK YOU!!!!! <3 <3 <3

45 for 🔼 :

---

He brings a sort of light to any conversation he’s a part of. A brightness, even when it’s clear he’s been wading through a lot of dark lately, in the aftermath of his injury. Shannon doesn’t know how much of a believer she is in fate or destiny or whatever. Some things seem so unfair if that’s all true. Like her mother’s long and repeated fight with cancer, only to lose. But there seems to be something fortuitous about Buck being a coworker by happenstance - Eddie has explained that he almost chose another station - that turned out to be someone important in his life, their son’s life, and now somehow hers, too. Like he’s been woven into things. Whatever tapestry exists of their lives. And with that strange thought in mind, she finds herself persistently wanting to spend more time around him. Even if all she has are those physio appointments. 

The last thing, and it cannot be understated in terms of importance, is Eddie. The change between her and Eddie. They’re not perfect. It’s not some magical one-eighty where their problems are gone and they’re expert communicators. Not at all. They’re still in the limbo of an on-pause divorce, figuring out coparenting, carrying a fuck ton of baggage and trust issues when it comes to each other. That’s not going away any time soon. But it’s alleviating. It’s moving in a direction that feels constructive. Which is more than she can say about anything since she got pregnant with Christopher.

After the night they told Chris about the baby, she came over one school day while Eddie was off work and talked. Given their history, Shannon was sort of scared they’d end up in bed. Thankfully, it didn’t happen. Eddie didn’t make a single advance. Although, maybe Eddie isn’t attracted to her like this. Who knows? Regardless, they ended up having a productive conversation. 

It came down to two very simple matters. Shannon, and having an identity outside of wife, mother, and caretaker to a dying mother. Eddie, and feeling secure in his role in the new shape their family was about to take. 

“I don’t want to only see my kid every other weekend, Shannon,” he had said. “I know the baby will need you more than me, but I can’t do that.”

And it’s so entirely different from the man who enlisted and left and said it was for the best, that she doesn’t know what to do about it. He’s still hung up on being a provider, she thinks. But not in exactly the same way. His time being a single parent to Christopher has changed him. A lot. 

So they’re moving forward. They’re trying. To be friends and co-parents before people who are divorcing each other. They’re talking about Shannon coming to stay with him for a while after the baby is born, so they can both be hands on during those early days. Hence her spending more time there now, just for Chris. So far, despite some residual awkwardness, it’s going okay. 

Take today, for example. Today, Shannon has woken up at Eddie’s, while he is at work.

---

45 for 🚨:

---

Yeah, Eddie is with him on that. 

“I think her timing was great,” Buck says. “Maddie’s daughter is going to have two fantastic parents. Twice more than some people get.”

That causes a wave of silence.

Eddie squeezes his hand. As much for comfort as for a reminder of their plan. Just get through the evening. Then they can go home to Christopher, who is also lucky enough to have two fantastic parents, despite losing one. And all will be right again. 

“Well, yes,” Phillip says after a moment. “It’s… It’s wonderful to see you with a partner who makes you happy, Maddie.”

Eddie narrows his eyes. Not that Buck’s tight grimace this evening is any indication of the relative happiness of their own relationship, but once again, they’re commenting on her life while overlooking his entirely.

“Yes,” Margaret agrees. “Especially after how everything ended with Doug.”

Buck stiffens. 

“Mom,” Maddie scolds. “We really don’t need to talk about him.”

How things ended? Eddie’s brain spins. Wait… The way they’re talking about it just doesn’t make sense. Eddie feels a pit forming in his stomach. He looks at Buck, a question in his eyes. The sad, resigned look on Buck’s face says it all. 

Is that why they’re ignoring him? Because of how Doug died? Because… Because Buck killed him, defending Maddie?

Not when you’ve had to wait this long.

Oh fuck. 

Eddie knew they hadn’t been supportive during the trial… But do they blame him?

“Well, I’m sorry, Maddie. It’s only that we haven’t seen you since,” Margaret defends herself. “So it still comes to mind.”

“Can we switch topics?” Maddie begs. “To literally anything else?”

For the first time that evening, since asking about his name, the Buckleys focus on Eddie. 

“Edmundo, you’re a firefighter too, right?” Phillip asks.

“Eddie,” Eddie corrects. “And, yes. Started at the station about a year before Buck.”

[rogueshadeaux]

Slllliiiiiides over here. Hi hello. I don't think I'll do a bad karma run (IM SORRY. IM SORRY!!) cause a) I'm a wimp and b) I need to get off videogames as soon as I'm done cause I've spent too much time playing lately lmao BUT I will be watching playthrougs cause I gotta know how fucked up he gets.... I gotta know...

To clarify i have a pre existing oc from a story that could be very easily flung into a vat of "au juice" because she's already halfway there in her own cannon LMAO we shall see, for now I have a huge list of things I want to draw for this game so I gotta finish 2 before I explode then I can unleash myself on art again. Gotta feed the discord now. I'm cooking for a crowd.

hi i've been dead for 8 days and recuperating for two lol I understand life stuff (and saw some references to it on your timeline, like the warhammer stuff and the tarot card thing??? bro that shit looks so good!!) as someone that literally shared your stuff and then got ripped away for my own life happenings lmfao. But if you get the chance in the future? Seriously, try an evil karma inF2 run. There's something about how they balanced the story that puts its predecessor AND sequel to shame. They're the same story, but different tales. They have the same goal, but different goalposts. SPP gives you a well-thought-out storyline that both is cohesive, but feels like your choices actually matter. It has none of the "I can help this old lady...or kick her fucking dog lol" of inFAMOUS 1, or the "I will fight for the tribe but literally do everything wrong. everywhere. because I'm a Bad Boy™" of inFAMOUS: Second Son. The choices feel real. They feel sound. They feel like the choices a man wronged by the world would make, if he decided to turn to his harbored resentment instead of his morality. And let's be honest, Cole also feels more morally gray in inF2 than 1 anyways, so seeing the path he takes is great because it genuinely feels like he's done with the accumulation of every shitty situation that has happened to him. And I'm sure you know how the story ends now, so...don't you wanna see what happens if he chose the other option? (pls tell me you haven't watched the playthrough yet lmfao)

Anyways yeah no I totally get life shit, it loves to pull you away from stuff, and also as someone only just now trying to do the bad options in Detroit: Become Human despite getting the game at launch because I need 6 years of preparation to be the bad guy, I understand the wimp bit too. It's hard to be mean sometimes. But with Cole's inF2 story, it doesn't feel mean. It feels like a desperate man, trying to fight for a future he's not convinced cares about him.

And yes oh my god please keep creating lmfao we all love your art so goddamn much. Don't leave this fandom you're now a very important asset. And it's always a good thing, throwing old friends into new situations! I love an OC in a wardrobe change. That's usually the best translation. Think a bit harder about forcing that OC into a new role. Shove her ass onto the stage. We'd all love her.

[zatna]

i know i know, i'll give my first chapter review of z:bdth!! personals leave me alone i do NOT fuck with u.

review: its good. 10/10 (no one expected anything less).

now my silly little thoughts:

it opens with with zatanna being ridiculed for messing up a ball-disappearing trick, then promptly going to her father for some advice on real magic. zatanna's backstory has never been heavily consistent, even in her early origin days, so to see an actual scene where she's younger and doing her own actions.. it's different than the regular flashbacks we've been getting with her that just exist as a sort of "here's how magic works" to the general audience.

this page above is SOO GOOD i'll be thinking about it for the rest of my life. the colors, the shapes, the poses for both young zee & her father.. i'm glad they're bringing attention to their relationship prior to magic teaching, because it creates a distance between them that we don't see a lot, but i consider all the time. zatanna's most remarkable teacher was her father, yes, but zatanna had way more years of self-teaching than being a mentee to someone else. giovanni had never wanted to teach her anything beyond a few simple spells, and for a man who spent his life fighting supernatural horrors and threats i don't blame the fact he didn't want his daughter going into the world-- even though it's apparent they're both consumed by it already. the magical tomes, books, the obscure objects (floating or not), typical assistant bunnies. smthn smthn a visual clash of the two types of magicians we see in the room. giovanni's face is shadowed in, he's mysterious and direct, if not somewhat dismissive: "you said you'd teach me magic..." "did i?"

this could be read as not dismissive as well, since in the next scene she does use magic. so maybe he indulged her. but the spell was definitely not what she asked for and looks way more like a strong desire that developed into a spellcast out of emotion alone. maybe she grabbed one of his books when he wasn't looking, or we can go a different route and assume giovanni did teach her that spell, a backwards lesson of the difference between parlor tricks and real magic. he's always written as very coddling of zatanna, so to see him even demand her to "speak up." when she's got her head down was a bit of a surprise in itself, i don't know what he might've done..

i will never get tired of overpowered children having to deal with the fact they're overpowered children. this is the second time, that i can remember at least, where a younger zatanna had used her powers in a scenario where she thought they were justified, only to deal with the cruel consequences after the damage is done. how zee wielded magic in her youth, intentional or not, drastically impedes how she views it in her adult life. she's scared of it, this immeasurable power that responds to her slightest command. its a type of power that grown men yearn for, but giving it to a critical, impulsive child that's still learning the world around them, the people around them, and it'll just end up as a disaster and they'll grow to fear it.

nothing is important here besides the first signs of something is wrong, with her bunnies being cowered as far from her as they can while one bites in retaliation. ok there's like, smthn big going on but just look at the fact zatanna wears boxers... shes so hot. also transfem. thanks.

also omg little notes is the magic poster of herself being a wall for the rest of the kitchen. identical top hats on shelves. the drawn out man on the wall with knives sticking out of it jksgjkds. you can't see it exactly in this crop but there's just a bucket of chains and cuffs... she's such a weirdo... get another hobby im begging u. also mattress-on-the-floor zatanna is real and she is out to get you.

just a casual shadow of a creature following your shadow, no big deal. idk if the book will go this route, i think it's just another *team-up with someone who won't ever appear again in any continuity, but i like to think this is a canonical example of the consequences of zatanna under-using her magic. enter me forcing my headcanons and portrayal onto panels that definitely represent something else. anyway i'd like to think her magical presence becomes so dense when there's no "output" on her magic, and it's the equivalent of dangling a steak in front of a carnivore... or a carnivore's shadow. it's a mirror to when magic wielders overdo their own magical output, leaving them drained and instead an itty bitty fish in front of a carnivore. foods still food. i'm done with these metaphors i hope everyone caught the gist already..

pretending to hypnotize someone is so silly of her. but even more importantly there's a justice league mention oh wow!! and she turned them down :( zatanna's passion of the stage was very much outweighing the possibility of being a hero. this, as far as i'm concerned, has always been a fact. zatanna desired stardom and was perfectly content to sticking on stage, it was her fathers disappearance that had her jumping through mystical hurdles.

at this point on i'm not gonna post anymore panels because im lazy and this is getting so ridiculously long and also you should read it yourself. but i'm happy they're incorporating the fact zatanna doesn't use real magic on stage. outside of the premise of this series, where she has a present fear of it, zatanna in the past was of the stern belief that she shouldn't need to, and so she didn't. these lines kinda got blurred, and then discarded completely, and then now her main act is using illusionary magic and leaving it up to the audience to decide if it was real or not. i like both interpretations, personally, but it's nice to see the former again.

a bit of a disappointment that this is yet another zatara-led storyline.. or maybe this is just where it starts? you'd think they've run out of "cleaning up my fathers messes" plotlines but you'd be wrong!

*team-up wise smells like yuri... even better it smells like doomed yuri so i'm here for it for as long as it'll stick around.

[seattlesellie]

this is super random (also this is my first msg to u hi <3) and i’m honestly asking this generally to anyone else who also happens to read this, but recently i’ve realized my sexual orientation and come to the conclusion that i’m like REALLY attracted to women (as a woman myself ofc). so obv this made me also think abt how someday i’m gonna have to tell ppl close to me abt this but i’m literally losing my mind cause i’m NAWT vulnerable especially w/ my parents 😭 and also i just now was watching a tiktok live that was full of homophobic ppl and whenever i see that on the internet, it makes me wanna go deeper in the shell (or closet lmao) that i already am in. like it makes me realize how many horrible ppl there are that won’t accept smth so simple (i’m also very emotional as u can see 😍) so like tbh i’m not sure what i’m seeking here but ig i’m just curious if u or anyone else has felt like this/what helped u come out? like it’s so hard for me to be open and as someone who recently graduated and is going to uni, in a completely diff country alone, i’m gonna have more freedom and if i were to date another girl, it’d feel unfair to my parents if i didnt say anything prior abt my identity. ik they’re also very supportive, which i’m thankful for, but i just HATEEE vulnerability. idk man :( it’s also very weird finally realizing more abt myself. it makes me SO happy yet so so so scared? aarrghh idk sorry abt this long message, u seem like the nicest person and this place feels safe, so i just felt like i could ask/find some kind of relatability. 💗 sorry again for this long ass rant LOLS 🌟

okokok im gonna tell u my coming out story because i can awfully relate to this ?? n adding a read more cos this is so long sorry <333 🤧

literally knew i liked girls my entire life and like suppressed the shit out of it. would try and date guys all throughout highschool and would feel so terrible afterwards… but like you, i was super uncomfortable with that type of vulnerability and also barely had any gay friends, let alone any gay female friends. so i spent my life just thinking im gonna be in the closet forever !! until i met my now ex gf, she would constantly be sleeping over— but i did the classic thing of telling my parents she was just my new best friend, until one day my dad was like… be so fr rn are you two dating. like you said, my parents are also very liberal and supportive (especially my dad), but still— it made me panic and drop a mug and deny deny deny !! then, after being together for like 6 months it was incredibly hard to hide it, and obvs she felt super uncomfortable bc i was super closeted and she was super out. so i kind of had to come out to my parents (i hid under a blanket and told them i have an important thing to say n then they already somehow knew). my parents and i literally never talked about these things like my mom didn’t even know about my first kiss or literally NOTHING about me, we didn’t have that type or relationship at all so i can relate to u so hard !!but like here’s the thing— i don’t think it would be unfair to your parents, this is your story to tell and you should do it when you feel comfortable enough, and if it takes you dating a girl for that then so be it. you shouldn’t worry about other peoples feelings about this, as this is yours to tell and not theirs! as long as you’re in a safe environment, coming out can truly be such a big fucking relief !! like that absolute weight that drops out of your chest is so so freeing. if the people who are close to you love you— they will accept you. if they won’t? truthfully, they don’t deserve u and never have. about the homophobia, its always going to be here, unfortunately for us hateful and bigoted people will always exist, and that can be extremely stressful and painful, which is why surrounding yourself with people from your own community is so so important and necessary. uni is such a good place to do that !! so many new people to meet and especially queer people to surround yourself with !! i super understand your fears but the good things that happen after you come out— that feeling of no longer needing to hide yourself is so so worth it 💗💗💗💗

[ninyard]

legally required to send you an ask? what if i pull a neil and lie to the fbi when they come to get me??? genuinely tho, tsc was so fucking good. jeremy and cat and lalia's dynamic has me chewing on walls, but so does the unrequited kevjean (fucked over by another pretty face??? jean teaching him french?????) and reading about the foxes's wins from jean's pov has me screaminf crying etc but I'd really love to hear if you have any theories on Jeremy's family?

Surprise I’m actually the FBI and I’m onto u now

But for real I’ve been going crazy thinking about TSC since I read it. The kevjean dynamic has me losing my mind like I got SHIVERS reading his asking Jean to teach him French. And the way my stomach FLIPPED reading “did you know I’ve never been skiing?” From Jeans POV. Puking vomitting screaming crying throwing up okay

Jeremy’s family. I have NO idea. It’s so vague they’re purely like random shots in the dark as to what it could be but here’s my thoughts as of rn:

1) Jeremy’s family are big investors in USC. It’s why he’s Captain, it’s why he has to show his face at Knox family events, public gatherings and all that, because he’s the proof that the money is worth it for the returns, and he’s the face of USC. They’re counting on his success to bring them more money.

2) Half of his family are homophobic. Maybe it’s just because he’s gay and his Political Old Money family seem to not get along with him very well that I think that, but also him bleaching his hair blond and then being unwelcome at dinners because of it. It seems like image is very important to them, and even if he’s quietly gay, dying his hair could be perceived as a Gay Thing To Do. His sister says to him “you destroyed the family,” what specifically could he have done to tear his family apart? Imagine your family investing (millions maybe) into your team, your sport, and then you put their image in jeopardy for being the out and proud gay kid that creates a negative talking point. He also quickly puts his phone away when he realises his sister is around which feels like a gay kid hiding from his family thing to do.

3) the banquet im at a loss for to be honest. I’ve been trying to rack my brain around what could’ve happened, but what we do know is a) whatever happened at the banquet tore their family apart b) his sister pretends Exy doesn’t exist because of it c) she’s never forgiven him for it. Gay Trauma brain of mine says maybe he took a man as his date and it caused a lot of problems in his home life, maybe they asked him not to and he said fuck you and did it anyway. But would that really destroy his family? The therapist thing too. Fight back against what???

4) there’s obviously some weird relationship problems in his family too. Doesn’t like to be called Knox, says his grandfather is not his grandfather, avoids his brother like the plague. The only person he seems to talk to is the butler. His sister barely regards him as well. He feels like the black sheep but I don’t know why!!! Also at some point it’s mentioned (I’m pretty sure anyway) that he doesn’t seem to be getting much in terms of monetary handouts from his family so he’s potentially having Allison type problems where he’s lost his inheritance or cut out of his grandfathers will or SOMETHING. He feels like the disappointment of his family but I can’t place my finger on why other than the fact that he’s gay. I don’t know. I’m going CRAZY not knowing tho.

Jeremy is fascinating me and it’s infuriating that I don’t know more. I know it’ll make the reveal in TCS2 much sweeter but damn can I pls get a little crumb of his backstory? His trauma? Just a little bit?

Anyways this an incoherent jumbled mess of thoughts about Jeremy but I am SO curious about his family. The banquet especially because it’s pretty intense, or seems to be at least from that little paragraph about it. I would die for you Jeremy Knox just tell me everything first pls!!!!!