#i want to talk about this so much so everyone add my on discord or msg me in IMs thanks

[zatna]

i know i know, i'll give my first chapter review of z:bdth!! personals leave me alone i do NOT fuck with u.

review: its good. 10/10 (no one expected anything less).

now my silly little thoughts:

it opens with with zatanna being ridiculed for messing up a ball-disappearing trick, then promptly going to her father for some advice on real magic. zatanna's backstory has never been heavily consistent, even in her early origin days, so to see an actual scene where she's younger and doing her own actions.. it's different than the regular flashbacks we've been getting with her that just exist as a sort of "here's how magic works" to the general audience.

this page above is SOO GOOD i'll be thinking about it for the rest of my life. the colors, the shapes, the poses for both young zee & her father.. i'm glad they're bringing attention to their relationship prior to magic teaching, because it creates a distance between them that we don't see a lot, but i consider all the time. zatanna's most remarkable teacher was her father, yes, but zatanna had way more years of self-teaching than being a mentee to someone else. giovanni had never wanted to teach her anything beyond a few simple spells, and for a man who spent his life fighting supernatural horrors and threats i don't blame the fact he didn't want his daughter going into the world-- even though it's apparent they're both consumed by it already. the magical tomes, books, the obscure objects (floating or not), typical assistant bunnies. smthn smthn a visual clash of the two types of magicians we see in the room. giovanni's face is shadowed in, he's mysterious and direct, if not somewhat dismissive: "you said you'd teach me magic..." "did i?"

this could be read as not dismissive as well, since in the next scene she does use magic. so maybe he indulged her. but the spell was definitely not what she asked for and looks way more like a strong desire that developed into a spellcast out of emotion alone. maybe she grabbed one of his books when he wasn't looking, or we can go a different route and assume giovanni did teach her that spell, a backwards lesson of the difference between parlor tricks and real magic. he's always written as very coddling of zatanna, so to see him even demand her to "speak up." when she's got her head down was a bit of a surprise in itself, i don't know what he might've done..

i will never get tired of overpowered children having to deal with the fact they're overpowered children. this is the second time, that i can remember at least, where a younger zatanna had used her powers in a scenario where she thought they were justified, only to deal with the cruel consequences after the damage is done. how zee wielded magic in her youth, intentional or not, drastically impedes how she views it in her adult life. she's scared of it, this immeasurable power that responds to her slightest command. its a type of power that grown men yearn for, but giving it to a critical, impulsive child that's still learning the world around them, the people around them, and it'll just end up as a disaster and they'll grow to fear it.

nothing is important here besides the first signs of something is wrong, with her bunnies being cowered as far from her as they can while one bites in retaliation. ok there's like, smthn big going on but just look at the fact zatanna wears boxers... shes so hot. also transfem. thanks.

also omg little notes is the magic poster of herself being a wall for the rest of the kitchen. identical top hats on shelves. the drawn out man on the wall with knives sticking out of it jksgjkds. you can't see it exactly in this crop but there's just a bucket of chains and cuffs... she's such a weirdo... get another hobby im begging u. also mattress-on-the-floor zatanna is real and she is out to get you.

just a casual shadow of a creature following your shadow, no big deal. idk if the book will go this route, i think it's just another *team-up with someone who won't ever appear again in any continuity, but i like to think this is a canonical example of the consequences of zatanna under-using her magic. enter me forcing my headcanons and portrayal onto panels that definitely represent something else. anyway i'd like to think her magical presence becomes so dense when there's no "output" on her magic, and it's the equivalent of dangling a steak in front of a carnivore... or a carnivore's shadow. it's a mirror to when magic wielders overdo their own magical output, leaving them drained and instead an itty bitty fish in front of a carnivore. foods still food. i'm done with these metaphors i hope everyone caught the gist already..

pretending to hypnotize someone is so silly of her. but even more importantly there's a justice league mention oh wow!! and she turned them down :( zatanna's passion of the stage was very much outweighing the possibility of being a hero. this, as far as i'm concerned, has always been a fact. zatanna desired stardom and was perfectly content to sticking on stage, it was her fathers disappearance that had her jumping through mystical hurdles.

at this point on i'm not gonna post anymore panels because im lazy and this is getting so ridiculously long and also you should read it yourself. but i'm happy they're incorporating the fact zatanna doesn't use real magic on stage. outside of the premise of this series, where she has a present fear of it, zatanna in the past was of the stern belief that she shouldn't need to, and so she didn't. these lines kinda got blurred, and then discarded completely, and then now her main act is using illusionary magic and leaving it up to the audience to decide if it was real or not. i like both interpretations, personally, but it's nice to see the former again.

a bit of a disappointment that this is yet another zatara-led storyline.. or maybe this is just where it starts? you'd think they've run out of "cleaning up my fathers messes" plotlines but you'd be wrong!

*team-up wise smells like yuri... even better it smells like doomed yuri so i'm here for it for as long as it'll stick around.

[apollos-boyfriend]

Hey I've been observing from afar through your reaction blogging, I haven't been in mcyt as much since the dsmp ended but I still care about a lot of the people in the mcyt circle and I'm interested in what goes on - care to give a rundown of what happened at this twitch rivals thing everyone keeps talking about? (no pressure only if you want to) Aside from the fact I'm sure it was terribly run like most twitch rival events are, but it sounds like there was more to it than that

okay so. i am going to be missing quite a few details because i missed a day myself + my streamer could not care less, so i heavily encourage others to add on stuff i missed

this was a multi-day competition, running for 5 days with prize rewards from 1k to 100k. it started with i think 150 players, with select numbers of people getting eliminated each round. day 1-2 are fairly normal, at least for twitch rivals. of all the games that got played through the whole event, i'd say like 1 was actually good, and maybe 2 were decent, at best. most are bad, poorly-executed, poorly thought out, or just boring in terms of both player enjoy-ability and content creation.

DAY 3 EDIT:

now, sapnap's been sapnap for this entire event already. obnoxious, a bad sport, but most notably, playing DMCA'd songs. the event ran on proximity chat, so while he was unmuted, everyone around him would also be subject to said songs, which could mute vods at worst and terminate accounts at best. most people are fed up with him at this point. while everyone's trying to come up with solutions for the glitch, sapnap spams the discord with useless shit. couriway calls him out in the discord, calling him annoying and obnoxious, then later calling him a cunt in twitch chat. sapnap uses couriway and feinberg's name in his stream title for clickbait and talks shit about them + their friends (hbg/house builder gang). he also makes some weird comment asking if couri is homophobic because sap was talking about having skeppy's dick in his mouth?? or something?? i'm unsure exactly how day 3's issue of the glitch resolved.

day 4 is also your average experience with your usual range of average to horribly painful games. sapnap continues to be a bitch and not take responsibility for his stans attacking anyone in sight, but what else is new

day 5 is. bad. the game set for deciding the final competitors can be cheesed (if you let someone else do all the work, you can punch them in the last second and steal their win) and eliminates like 20 people at once. on top of that, a glitch happens that leaves the server on standby for at least 30 minutes while admins decide what to do. firebreathman sends a picture of a bare naked ass in the discord. someone else sends a photo of their debit card. streamers entertain themselves in various ways, including growing a cactus (fulham), playing osu (purpled), collecting other people's streams for their overlay (fruitberries), playing slime rancher (badboyhalo), and building real-life furniture (couriway). tubbo (who was already eliminated at this point) starts jumping between streams and asking in chat for the tea. the game is eventually replayed, deciding the final 4 players, but it's just as broken and at that point, no one wants to be there anymore. it's revealed through multiple streamers (purpled, i believe also feinberg) that twitch rivals games are not tested before being ran. the only testing done was a stress test to see if the server could handle all original 150-some players. this explains why the games are so bad and poorly organized (some games take over an hour, others barely 30 minutes).

the final four are sapnap, shadoune, sneegsnag, and i think feinberg. it's the most anticlimatic game of connect 4 you can imagine. sneeg eliminates sapnap, and shadoune eliminates fein. notably, fein's game glitches during a throw, which despite being obviously a glitch, the coordinators brush off as being "part of the game". fein and multiple other streamers spend time analyzing every pov frame by frame and all agree that yeah, that was a glitch. shadoune and sneeg are left for the finals. they come to an agreement that this is stupid and a horrible event. tired of this bullshit, they purposefully stall the games and run a podcast for approximately 2 hours, forcing the coordinators to bend to their commands hunger games-style. essentially since the first glitch of the day people were begging twitch to just split the money, something that wouldn't be easy according to tubbo, because everything is pre-signed and delegated before the event. sneeg and shadoune give no fucks, and force the coordinators to split the money anyway, winning the day through the power of friendship. i cannot stress enough how no one wanted to fucking be there by the end of all this.

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

So wooo it's been a while since I stepped foot in here, started posting around May (and then took down the first fic because I didn't like it) and I'm really glad I did because writing is the one thing that has really resonated with me my whole life. 

I reached 200 followers at the beginning of November and now I'm 6 from 300, which, again, is crazy! And I have a tag list now, it's unbelievable. Thank you so much to each one of you, I love you.

So I definitely want to give something back to this amazing community.

Starting today I'm going to try to do a monthly post dedicated to all the amazing stories I've read. 

This month will be a list of all the works that have stuck with me since I have been here, unfortunately I will never remember them all because my memory sucks, but I hope I have included most of them.

I am so looking forward to discovering many more authors (my tbr list is so long, so many fics so little time, I really hope to read more over the Christmas holidays) in the coming months and I hope to grow this little space more and more into something safe, friendly and nice for everyone.

(Feel free to add me on discord if you like and you haven't already, I'm always happy to chat and make friends, you can find it in my bio).

Anyway, let's cut to the chase, it's a long list of outstanding work below the cut: 

• The Wolf You Feed - @arcanefox207 Joel Miller x f!reader

Look, I'm so in love with her Joel. He’s hot, he's grumpy but also comforting, he plays guitar, he feels true to character. So precious.

• BDSMaid - @mountainsandmayhem

Basically, my Roman Empire. Everything about this is so damn good and this Joel? Hello? Please marry me? I will never stop screaming about him. Also, yes, it’s an AU but he feels so Joel, you know.

• Do your worst, Little Dove from Little Dove series - @mountainsandmayhem Joel Miller x f!reader

This changed my entire brain, okay. Probably the hottest thing I've ever read and if you're into sub!Joel this is something you should read immediately.

• Never made it as a wise man and following chapters - @almostempty Joel Miller x f!reader

Never laughed so hard for a fic and honestly, after this I learned that Wed could write whatever and I'll worship that.

• He knows - @almostempty

Lucien x f!reader

The way it’s written it’s out of this world, I loved it so much♥️

• Self esteem series - @almostempty

She managed to make me fall in love with fuckboy!Joel, which is remarkable because there’s nothing I hate more in this world than fuckboys, like I despise them with all my heart but I’m still here wanting to kneel in front of him. Damn, Wed, stop doing this to me. (Jk)

• Paris, Texas - @almostempty

Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Peña

*laugh hysterically* I want to live in this fic. I want to be reader. No, actually I want to be the fourth.

• Unscripted desires - @gothcsz Javier Peña x f!reader

The way Kat writes Javi is something unique, I don't even know how she managed to write so much about him doing a fucking banger every single time. This one was probably the first thing I read written by Kat and I'm not going to forget my first love anytime soon.

• Blackmail - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader x Javier Peña

I read this series in one day and I was so needy when I finished, jeez! Milla is so damn good and she’s an absolute queen at writing dirty talk, it's honestly unbelievable the way she delivers every single time and leave me speechless.

• Her - from 5 days collection - @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader

It’s so dear to my heart (odd to say this about a pegging fic? Probably, but I still stand by what I just said). It was so good that inspired me to write a pegging fic myself and she was so kind about it 🥹 And she was probably the first person engaging with me here and I’m so fucking grateful that she did. Milla, if I have people reading me it’s because you reblogged me and gave me a chance in the first place, I will never forget this.

• Table for Three - Who's your daddy - @aurorawritestoescape Joel Miller x f!reader x Dave York

I read those in my early days here and wow Kate definitely sets a bar in terms of hotness for me. So good. And she’s another person that I cherish so much, thanks for being so supportive and encouraging.

• Keep on your mean side - @aurorawritestoescape and @milla-frenchy Joel Miller x f!reader

These two are dead dove queens and this one is simply amazing 10/10 no notes.

• Cherry, Cherry - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader

You have to know something about Adriana, she’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, just a beautiful soul. I’m still in awe of how she managed to write this series with so many characters and such a rich plot, it’s so sweet and comforting but also angsty and so good, I teared up a little bit at the end 🥲

• Daddy can fix it - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader

Handyman Joel lives in my mind rent free and the fact that this one feature a plus size!reader is the cherry on top ♥️ All bodies are beautiful and should be considered worthy of Joel’s love.

• Like a good girl should - @baronessvonglitter Joel Miller x f!reader

WELL. I mean. This one gave me an inexhaustible desire to be spanked sooo yeah. So hot.

• Flesh for fantasy - @syd-djarin Joel Miller x f!reader

I thought about that for days after reading it and it’s still one of my fav things ever, like my brain just exploded, I remember having a conversation with @almostempty about this. The fuck Syd, you just broke my mind.

• Pink - @netherfeildren

Joel Miller x f!reader

One of the first thing ever that I read in this fandom and honestly sets a bar so high I was afraid to start writing anything. The urge, the need that drips from every word, the way the shaving scene is still stuck in my brain. Wow. Just wow.

• Touch Tank - @thundermartini

Javier Peña x f!reader

So beautifully written and soft!Javi made my heart melt ♥️

• Spiaggia, amore e limone - @thundermartini

Javier Peña x f!reader

It sets in Italy, of course I am the biggest fan of this. And not only that, Javi is so cute, smut is so hot, everything in this fic feels like a warm hug.

• Trēs series - @whocaresstillthelouvre

Marcus Acacius x f!reader x Lucius Verus

This is the first time I've ever popped into an author's notes and I'm so fucking proud 🤣 Thank you Mallory, you made my day, my week and my whole month 🥹

Plus, this is so good, think about your fav indulging dessert… it’s this series.

• Fifteen - @whocaresstillthelouvre

Din Djarin x f!reader

So comforting and endearing, I love it so much. Like, she made me read Din. I rarely read Din, enough said.

• Do I move you? - @lemon-nomel

Joel Miller x f!reader

I’m so damn proud of her for finding the courage to finally publish this and I’m also honored that she sent me her draft to read 🥹 She’s the sweetest person ever and stood by my side all these months through hard and happy times. Thank you love, for everything and your writing is amazing♥️

• ma’am - @mssalo

Joel Miller x f!reader

Another sub!Joel I won’t forget anytime soon, wow, so damn beautiful, so hot, perfectly executed. I’m so weak for sub!Joel it’s honestly ridiculous.

• So Cal to North Cal - @lotusbxtch

Frankie Morales x f!reader x Joel Miller

It features two of my fav Pedro boys and it’s honestly so good. Would love to take a trip with them and not only that.

• Guilty pleasure - @for-a-longlongtime

Joel Miller x f!reader

Typical DBF!Joel? No, it’s not! And I loved that, no spoiler but my jaw literally dropped to the floor lol

• To Dig a Grave - @softpascalito

Joel Miller x f!reader

I love this series so much, angsty and sad but also comforting in so many ways.

• Wherever you stray, I’ll follow - @cavillscurls

Joel Miller x f!reader

I think this was my first omegaverse fic and it was incredible, so beautifully written.

• Big fat tally - @toxicanonymity

Joel Miller x f!reader

I will probably never forget Joel in a harness, it’s carved in my brain, thanks Toxi for providing this delicious image to me.

• In the woods - @tonysopranosrobe

Frankie Morales x f!reader x Santiago Garcia x Benny Miller

First sex pollen fic I read and I loved it so much. So desperate, so good.

• How do you sleep? - @thriftedtchotchkes

Joel Miller x f!reader

Honestly so good. Wow.

• each man mad’s desire - @pascalispretty

Marcus Acacius x f!reader

This is so beautiful, it’s like a poem, I still have no words.

• The Real Deal - @strang3lov3

Frankie Morales x f!reader

Oh this one was so damn good, please, this Frankie is perfect. I still yearn to have him.

• Bedridden - @strang3lov3

Joel Miller x f!reader

I’m still laughing, it’s so damn good, well written, funny, sick Joel is unbearable but still the hottest ever.

• Doctor’s pet - @evolnoomym

Dave York x f!reader

Oh this one. I mean I’m a secretary in a clinic, it’s clear I need to work for Doctor Dave.

• Ptolemaea - @lovely-vamp-princess

Joel Miller x f!reader

She just started this and it already feels so original to me, like something I never read before and I’m so curious to see how it unfolds.

• Smooth operator - @penascigarette

Joel Miller x f!reader

Joel calls a sex line and OMG. They’re softer than I thought, so good and funny. Lovely, just lovely.

Happy reading ♥️

[lionheartedmusings]

hi everyone! i talked about my new "dream job" very briefly a few times, but turns out you really shouldn't count your chickens before they hatch. i debated not saying anything multiple times, and frankly perhaps i should've kept quiet, but i refuse to let this situation eat me up and i feel like the community also deserves some transparency on some things that realistically, you'll never get unless people speak up. i want to preface this by stating very, very clearly that everyone that i met in the studio on a personal level is incredibly talented, passionate, and kind. all of them deserve much, much better than the way they get treated. i applied to be a writer for quackity studios / qsmp and got an email back on the 18th of january. i interviewed for the position on the 23rd of january, and entered trial period on the 28th after signing an "nda".

early during trial period, i asked one of my supervisors about payment and was told they weren't responsible for that and didn't know, but would get back to me as soon as they knew which never ended up happening (i do not blame them at all, they’re incredibly busy people). i should've pressed further, but as someone in a very, very sensitive financial situation and someone who loves the qsmp and admires the talent of everyone who poured their heart and soul into the project, i chose to wait and expect the best. i was officially welcomed into the studio on the 10th of february, and while i waited to be contacted regarding a contract or payment, i had to once again ask (even after i was already working) about payment. i was redirected to "the" head admin as it was him who handled payment, and had to wait days for him to log on so i could add him as a discord friend and ask about my salary. during that conversation, which took almost a week from start to finish, i was asked multiple times if i'd worked professionally as a writer or freelancer (to which the answer was no) before finally being offered between 200-250 dollars (which i later found out shakes out to 170€) per month. i had to ask how i was being paid, and of my own accord provide him with my paypal email in hopes of a response as he never made it clear to whom i should send it. i was incredibly lucky compared to so many members of that team, because i did get paid for my work over that month, even if it felt like i had to beg for compensation that had been promised to me before. it was an awful salary, but i was desperate and so excited to be a part of the team that i accepted the conditions. after léa's tweets, the response "jay" posted, and quackity's emergency stream, i heard once from a supervisor that things were on hold but we'd be informed of any changes. to this day, there has not been any communication either publicly on the discord server or privately, even though i asked a supervisor privately for any possible updates on anything. there's been absolute radio silence. i want to add that i do not in any way blame my supervisors for any of their lack of communication, as they've been nothing but kind and caring towards me and i imagine they'd say something if they could. i have nothing but the utmost respect for them. a few days ago (and i apologize for not being precise with the date but i wasn't checking these things closely as i had no reason to) i noticed that my access to just about everything on the server apart from the announcement channel had been removed, and the only role i retained was the main "writer" one. upon checking, the other writers on the team still retain all of their previous roles. for some reason i do not know nor understand, my access got removed without any sort of word, communication, dm, anything. anything i've ever learnt about this situation, i learnt in the middle of the night live on twitch.tv while i waited to see if i still had a job or not. the only reason i can find for my access being removed and not the other writers is the fact that i'm friends with pomme's admin. i do not know if that is why, it's merely my own speculation, but it's the only link i can see that would lead to that decision. i hope i'm wrong, but hope hasn't gotten me very far in this yet. yesterday, i quit.

i only applied in the first place because i love the qsmp. i love this community, i love this project, and i genuinely and wholeheartedly wanted to help build it as well as be able to in some way support myself while being creative. i'm not making this post because i hate quackity and want to see anything burn — i'm just exhausted, and stressed, and losing sleep over a business that ultimately does not care for the people that made it a reality. i could not in good conscience not say something, because while i was very lucky that my time there was short and while i made friends there that i believe i will take with me for the rest of my life, i've never been someone who can sit and watch others be mistreated so blatantly and just ignore it. i honestly and sincerely hope that moving forward, things change, but after what i've seen i have very little hope left in me. this isn't just about the exploitation of people, or just about not providing people with payment for their work — it's about treating other human beings who are killing themselves and working themselves to the bone with the very minimum of care and respect. it's about people who made the qsmp what it is being discarded and disrespected constantly, and who live in fear and anxiety. these people deserve to be treated well, and that lack of respect hasn't changed regardless of any "announcements" made. my heart and full and complete support goes out to everyone who is dealing with these very unfortunate circumstances and treatment (my dms are always open if you ever want to reach out), to léa for being so incredibly brave and putting herself in the line of fire for the tens of people still in the studio, to all the actors and the twitter teams for the absolute silence they've received as payment for their hard work over almost a year, and to pomme's admin who despite what's going around on twitter has not received any contact from anyone in the studio yet, and deserves so so much better.

it’s my most sincere hope that qsmp thrives and conditions change, because everyone there deserves that. everyone there deserves to be treated like gold because they’re some of the best people i’ve ever met. i wish it didn’t feel like we have to put ourselves in the line of fire publicly for any sort of response because clearly staying silent hasn’t helped anything.

please, support the people who spoke out and support the people still in the project. they're the ones who made the qsmp the qsmp. they're the ones you should be standing with first and foremost.

[breezy141]

I GOT AN IDEA! Would you do headcanons or a oneshot (whatever you want to do) about case seeing and clip of streamer!reader (probably from the discord), and the clip is basically just reader talking about how much she loves him and how cute she thinks he is. Just lovey dovey fluff bc I love him sm 😭

YESS! omg i love this idea! so so perfect! i hope you enjoy my angel. i did this as you were currently together. just endless flirting 💌

DISCORD CLIPS | caseoh x f!streamer!reader masterlist.

“W edit man! appreciate you!” case enthusiastically praises one of the editors apart of his discord group. during another stream the chat begged him to react to videos flooding his inbox. it had gotten insanely more active in the past couple of days.

case’s chat was filled with comments telling him to keep scrolling and to go to a certain video. he wanted to take time is watching everyone else’s videos before he just skips and goes to the main one. “hold on chatt” he says in a funny accent.

“that is not me! that is ai!” case threw his hand on his desk and laughed loudly. “ain’t no way!” it had been a late happy birthday edit for him which included many edited photos.

“oh chat is this the one you were talkin’ bout’?” his cursor hovered over the video of you sat in your gaming chair looking over to what he presumed was a monitor of some sort, you were cheerily smiling. case studied it for a moment, you looked gorgeous.

“yeah?” he clicked on the video with great curiosity. it started off with you letting out a shy giggle. “what do i think about case?” for some reason, his heart began speeding up a little.

“to be completely honest, that man is a whole different kinda guy. i mean he’s amazing!” he leaned back in his chair, watching the way you spoke and played nervously with your hair.

“he is funny as hell, i mean every stream is just brillant, never a dull moment. his humour is” you paused “unmatched” he noticed that as you spoke your cheeks slightly turned a dark shade of red. he smiled to himself as he listened and followed every word you said. usually, he pauses the same video a couple times to add his own bits of commentary but he couldn’t this time?

“honestly i’m happy he blew up on all the social platforms he truly deserves it, i personally love the guy. we constantly talk and he remains so humble and genuine. he’s so cute chat, can’t be the only one that thinks that! his personality is just adorable. ahh i do miss him, it’s been a while since i’ve seen him. i miss his hugs, he gives great ones! no but seriously i LOVE him and kitty of course”the vid ended and he was truly in shock. chat added on that you continued talking about how cute kitty was for a couple more minutes.

case could say the exact thing about you, he loved the connection and genuine friendship you had with one another. constant supportiveness coming from both ends. he adored you! how could someone not? you had the personality of an angel, not only that but you were stunning.

sometimes case thought you would never go for a guy like him, but he believes otherwise now. chat watched as case sat there with a huge smile on his face, he had a smug look on his face that you had potentially chosen him.

“CASE UR IN”

“W RIZZ”

“case ur locked in”

case continued reading chat, still in complete awe over you. he was in fact. in.

[anipgarden]

How to Increase Biodiversity on a Budget - Masterpost

It cannot be stressed enough that supporting native wildlife is important, wherever you are and however you can. But it can feel a bit daunting to think about doing, especially if you’re operating on a smaller budget. It’s not uncommon to hear about someone’s success story and think how much did it cost to do that?

I’m hoping that I can provide a good bunch of ideas on how to help heal the world around you without hurting your wallet. Feel free to use this as a guide, or a bouncing-off point to do actions in your own style!

Before we get Started

I want to make it clear that this is not a checklist of things you are required to do in order to be ‘helping.’ This isn’t an ‘all or nothing’ kind of deal. Every little bit you do helps. Being aware of these options and spreading awareness helps. Doing even just a handful of these options as you’re able to helps.

With that being said, we need to acknowledge that not everything in this list is feasible for everyone. Some people have a fenced yard in the suburbs. Some people have an unfenced yard with judgy neighbors and/or a restrictive HOA policy. Some people can’t directly control their own landscaping, whether that be because of an external lawn maintenance ruling or something like ‘living with your parents.’ Some people have a 4th story apartment with a small balcony. Some people rent and can’t grow directly into the ground. If the best you can do is put up a bird feeder, or grow a few pollinator-friendly plants in pots? I see you. I feel you. I’ve been there. I appreciate what you’re doing, and you know what? So does the wildlife.

Un-actions, or Restriction of Activities

Things to Do that Aren’t Related to Growing Plants

The Plants-Related Section

Adding To, or Starting, A Garden

Cheaply Starting

Supporting Your Plants for Cheap: Composting, Mulching, and Trellises

What Plants to Add

What to Do Once Things Are Planted

The Secret Other Thing - Managing Invasive Plants and Animals

Parting Words and Sources

If you’re interested in joining a group of gardening enthusiasts who are always down to talk about biodiversity, project ideas, and native plants, feel free to hop into my gardening discord! 

[shirecorn]

tumblr ate my post, but unfortunately ornaments aren't going to arrive before christmas.

There may be a few people who could upgrade their shipping (we can talk about it on a case-by-case basis to see if it would be worth paying for!) but the majority estimate arrival after christmas

I'm glad I made sure the processing time showed there would be no guarantee, but I'm very sad it happened this way. The shop I'm partnering with is having massive tech issues (much of them due to inexperience with file handling and illustrator), and there's nothing I can do. I started the ornaments project in october, but apparently you need more time than that when working with physical objects!

Every year I get more ambitious, and make the project bigger and better. And I will start way earlier to make sure everyone gets their prizes by November.

Next year, I hope to run an indiegogo campaign in the summer, with prize tiers that will add fun new add-ons like a mini storybook about rudolph meeting the reindeer team, a making-of book (since I have been documenting this project since the first doodles in 2021, and posting them on my art discord) and more. Here's some Ideas for unlockable stretch goals:

Mini illustrated storybook that fits in the ornament box.

Zine-sized Making-Of booklet with drawings, photos, and design notes

Small name tags and instructions for how to play "the reindeer game" where you match names to the designs before flipping them over to see if you are right.

Acrylic charm keychains

Standees so they can be set up and played with like toys

Things you will be able to get for a pledge (not fully in order)

full-resolution digital images of all the deer so you can admire the details

PDFs of storybook and making-of booklet

A single sticker from my extras as a thank you

A nice set of reindeer days stickers

A nice set of reindeer days ornaments

A unique, custom drawing of your favorite deer

Customized message on the back of the sleigh ornament so you can wish someone special a merry christmas

Keychains, standees, etc

A reindeer designed for you, either a cool new one or an existing OC reindified (limited slots)

Merch of that reindeer

And I'll probably think of more by the time I launch.

Any suggestions and things you would want to see?

Thank you everyone for your patience and support. I'm having a fantastic time, despite the delays, and it just makes me want to keep creating and keep reaching for the sky

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for accidentally outing my fiance?

I (27F) am engaged to a 24M guy. He is trans, but he doesn't identify as trans anymore - he's post-everything, passes 100%, lives stealth/as a cis man, and no one who didn't know him pre-transition knows him as anything but a cis man. I know keeping that up is very important to him, we've had a lot of conversations about how happy he is just being seen as cis and being able to pass. I know getting outed and 'found out' is also a big worry of his, for example for our upcoming wedding he's rushing around trying to make it clear to his family that they shouldn't mention him being trans or refer to him as she/her at our wedding because he has so many friends coming who don't know he's trans. It's not that he doesn't trust them or he's ashamed of being trans or anything, he's very supportive of his trans friends, but he just doesn't publicly live as trans.

We're in a big Discord server of friends that have been quite close for about a year now, enough that we've met multiple of them in person and two of them are going to be in his wedding party as sort of 'best man' equivalents (we're not really sticking to bridesmaid best man stuff just our mixed gender friends). He has kept his Facebook very private for as long as I've known him, the only people on there are IRL friends and family because he has in the past posted trans stuff on there, like transition updates, it still has old pictures of him pre-T or in early transition, etc. I knew he didn't want this found. He also hadn't told any of this group aside from the people he was especially close with and had invited to the wedding his surname and location in case they looked him up and found something.

People in the server were sharing their Facebook profiles and I shared mine so people could add me. My fiance messaged me right after pointing out that me sharing mine would dox him as I had him in my relationship status and friends list, but I unfortunately didn't see this message for a while as I was distracted and doing other things. By the time I saw, everyone in the group had already clicked and gone through my profile and found his.

He tried to go through and speed-delete everything he could find that was public that mentioned him being trans or showed him pre-transition, any comments from family referring to it, etc but pictures that were set to friends only were still popping up in previews on the side and some of his family have public profiles that show cover images with him pre-T and things like that.

Our friends were making jokes about finally knowing his surname, going through his whole account down to the time it was first made back in 2018, commenting on old statuses of his, so they definitely saw his profile and went through all of it. He was panicking because he had no way of knowing if they'd seen that he's trans or not and got super upset and freaked out about the possibility, and he couldn't ask without outing himself or making them suspicious.

I apologized and deleted the link but obviously by then it was too late.

I do think it's not a huge deal as much as he thinks because I know our friends would be supportive and wouldn't think of him differently, but I know it was still important to him. I'm not sure they did see because some of our friends are the type to have just blurted out "You're trans?!" in the server without thinking about it (not because they're malicious or judging it, but some of them aren't as online and don't really know how to talk about it sensitively if that makes sense) and they didn't say anything. However he thinks they did because they were talking about statuses older than the ones he managed to get to deleting in time.

Like I said i did apologize but I feel like he's still upset with me for not thinking before sending my profile. On top of that I have kind of a habit of doing things impulsively and without thinking (I have bpd and bipolar) and not always taking into account how it will affect him or what consequences it will have,which I've been working on for years but I worry this is just adding to that which I know already wears on him.

What are these acronyms?

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Work 7

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.

Characters: Loki

Note: This week is killing me.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

Sunday sees your second day in your new position. As you send off your letter of resignation to the agency, you can't help the coil that winds tight in your stomach. There's no going back now.

You close out of the several templates you Googled in your efforts. It's the one thing you know how to do. Willa, the friendly librarian who checked out the PC for you, always said, if you can Google, you can figure it out. Still, you feel like there's so much you don't know that you're not sure a search engine can answer.

You close the laptop and take both your phones with you into the hallway. You have to go check out that gazebo and figure out if you need to make a call about it. Oh, and the fridge was beeping when you filled your bottle, you have to call the maintenance number that flashed up too.

That makes you even more anxious. You've never really been the sort for phone calls. You never had anyone to talk to and everything else was easier done in person. Well, you'll have to muddle through. Work isn't supposed to be fun or easy.

As you near the staircase, your flip chimes. You juggle to answer the right phone. The slim touchscreen is set only to buzz, an option not available on the clumsy burner. You answer the call as you stop on the top stair.

The woman on the other end asks for you by name. You confirm your identity as you hear familiar noises in the background. She's a nurse from the downtown hospital.

“I'm calling to confirm your father's discharge tomorrow at noon,” she says over the rustle of paper and clack of keys, “we'll need the bed so if there is any delay, another day would be added to the invoice.”

“I understand, I'll be there, erm… noon. Tomorrow,” you don't have your notebook so you key a reminder into the other phone. “Thank you for letting me know.”

“Of course, miss, we would recommend you arrive earlier. We have some resources and counseling available on what you can expect getting the patient settled at home,” she continues, “nine would be ideal. I'll be able to add a note for the doctor to check in as well.”

“Oh, yes, I can do that,” you squeak, “thank you.”

“Alright then, I have all that logged. You have a good day.”

“You too,” you utter before the line dies.

Phone calls weren't too bad. You think you did okay with that one. Then again, you didn't think! You're supposed to work tomorrow. Mr. Laufeyson said you could take Wednesday off, and tomorrow is only Monday.

You close the flip phone and stare at it. Oh boy. You really don't want to spoil this. Just the mention of the coming invoice underlines your desperation. You need the money. Your dad needs it.

“Are you finished?” Mr. Laufeyson's timbre drawls from down the hall. You glance over as he stands just in the doorway of his study. You gulp.

“Sorry, Mr. Laufeyson. I didn't mean to disturb–”

“Yet you did,” he insists.

“I was only going to check–”

“Not my concern so long as it's done,” he waves you off, “an important call, I assume, to make such a racket.”

“Mr. Laufeyson, um,” you shove the phones away, one in each of your pockets. “I… could I have the day tomorrow? Instead of Wednesday. My father is getting out of the hospital and–”

“The day? What time?” He snips as he approaches with decisive steps.

“Well, I'm supposed to go at nine,” you explain, “I'll come in Wednesday still.”

“You will come in tomorrow, after all that,” he says. “You can work later then.”

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson, but my father will need help getting settled–”

“Figure it out. You agreed to this schedule–”

“I did but–” you stop yourself as his eyes flare, “I will be here in the afternoon, Mr. Laufeyson.”

“You will be. In the appropriate attire, I expect,” he snarls and spins to strut back to his office, swinging the door shut sharply.

You waver at the hard slam. You didn't mean to anger him. You can't help that your father needs you. You thought Mr. Laufeyson would be more understanding, after all, he's the one who pointed out how much you needed the money.

🧹

Your father shoos you away as you try to help him sit. He lets go of the walker and flops back with a grunt, his oxygen tank clinking against the aid’s metal leg. He coughs and snatches around blindly on the cushion for the remote. You retrieve it from the folding table beside him and put it in his hand.

That agitates him further as he growls and jams down the button to turn on the television. You yawn and back away. You still have a full day left ahead of you, and what feels like one behind you. You spent the night doing some last minute tidying to make sure everything is read for your father.

“Smokes,” he snaps his fingers and hacks.

“Er,” you hesitate. You go to find the half-crushed pack you found with him on the floor. You knew better than to throw it out. You return to him, clutching the package nervously, “Dr. Shearer said–”

“Give it to me,” he demands.

You relent and obey. He’s been doubly miserable than before. You feel like an annoying gnat buzzing around his head as he tries to swat you away.

“I made you meals for the weak. They’re all labeled in the fridge–”

“I’m not a goddamn kid,” he scowls and takes the lighter from the folding table.

“I know, but–”

“But I’m home. You probably hate that,” he sneers, “you’d be happy if I died in that hospital.”

You’re taken aback by the accusation. You gasp and shake your head, “of course not, I’m happy you’re here. That you’re alive–”

“Painfully,” he snorts darkly, “the fuck you keep me here for?”

You take a breath and frown. Your eyes tinge and your cheeks pinch, “because you're my dad… and I love you,” you croak.

He doesn’t reply as he pulls out a cigarette and moves the tube from below his nose. You watch him, waiting. He lights the smoke and sucks on it eagerly. You drop your head and give a shrug.

“I gotta go to work,” you say, “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Don’t be slamming around when you come in,” he dusts ash over the freshly vacuumed carpet, “doctor said I needa sleep.”

“I won’t,” you promise and back away.

As you leave the room, your chest plummets in dread. You think of coming home, of finding him like you did before, laying on the floor, lifeless. You sniff and swipe away the speckling of tears. More than you want him to love you, you want him to love himself. You don’t just want him to want you around, you want him to be around.

🧹

You hurry up to Mr. Laufeyson’s gate with your kit and water bottle jostling. You fumble around until you find the smartphone and bring up the digits to punch into the code box. You buzz through and shuffle inside. You set off on your usual path around the back.

You stop at the rear door and try to untangle the strap of the water bottle from your kit. Your hand lingers on the front of the ballooning shirt. You still haven’t gone to look for clothes so you did your best with what you had. One of your father’s forgotten button-ups and a pair of pants that could pass in an office. It’s ill-fitting and scratch but better than jeans.

You get inside and leave your kit in the closet. Today’s a cleaning day but you have a few things to check off the schedule first. With your water bottle bouncing on your hip, you go upstairs and scurry down to the library.

As you enter, you’re surprised to discover the space less than empty. You apologise aloud and choke on the word, ‘mister’. It isn’t the house’s single resident as you expect, no, this figure could not be more different than Mr. Laufeyson. You recognise them, from the dinner.

The blond man faces you as he stands by the window, the drapes open to add the peculiarity of the situation. Like the man, the space is golden with sunlight. You lean back on your heel as you clutch the door handle.

“Hello,” he grins as he greets you in a playful demeanour. You can’t answer. You don’t know if you should. 

Is it rule one; don’t speak unless permitted; or the other rule, do not disturb my guests. You can’t figure out the riddle so you languish in perplexity.

“Aren’t you a sweet little lamb,” he muses as he steps away from the window, placing his hands on the back of the dimpled leather chair. His large hands. If you thought Mr. Laufeyson was tall, this man is even taller and twice as wide. “I remember you. The sweet maid.”

You blink. Where is Mr. Laufeyson? You can’t speak. You’re too terrified; not just of the strange man but of the one you know by name. Your employer would be unhappy to know you spoke out of turn.

“Have you seen my brother at all?” He prompts disregarding your stagnant silence. “Has he spoken of me? His brother? I'm Thor.”

You look down at your hand on the door handle.

“And what is your name?” He asks.

You don’t answer. You know it’s not right but you have no other choice. You pull the door shut and close the man in. You retreat in a half-sprint and barrel back down the stairs. You trip at the bottom and barely save yourself from stumbling to your knees.

You latch onto the banister post to keep your balance and catch your breath. You hear the door above. Oh no, would he follow you? Another door clicks and you look up to find a shadow on the other side of the frosted glass framed in the front entrance.

Mr. Laufeyson steps inside coolly, unbothered as swings the door shut and tugs on the lapel of his suit jacket. His eyes fall on you and he scuffs on his sole, tilting his head in curiosity. You didn’t realise he hadn’t even been there. You look at the ceiling with wide eyes; so how was the other man inside?

“Well, there you are,” he says matter-of-factly, “this place is sore in need of a dusting–”

Laufeyson is interrupted by a clamour of footsteps above. You let go of the banister and sidle away as his green eyes flick to the top to the staircase. You shy away and listen as the man descends in a series of thunder thumps. You turn to peek down the hall, wanting to hide in your chores.

“Stay,” Laufeyson commands. You turn back to him as he points at your feet. You stop in place and sway. He faces his visitor as he comes to the bottom stair, “brother, what is the meaning of this intrusion?”

“Can I not come see my baby brother?” The other man; the stranger; his brother, called Thor, booms.

“You may, when you warn me of it,” Laufeyson rebuffs.

“Ah, don’t be so grim,” Thor claps his shoulders and is swiftly shrugged off, “this place is always so dark. I hope you don’t mind, I opened a few windows.”

“I do mind,” Laufeyson says, “you do always presume.”

“And you are always offer such a warm welcome,” he tries to tap Laufeyson’s cheek but is batted away. The dark of the brothers backs up with a scoff. “Ah, and there she is. I was only just coming to find the little maid. She rushed off so suddenly–”

“You don’t need to bother with her,” Laufeyson dismissed with a slice of his hand through the air, “maid,” he points at you again, “back to work.”

You lean back on your heel, ready to disappear.

“Ah, don’t be so rude, brother. She is sweet. You get more bees with honey–”

“Do not tell me how to run my house,” Laufeyson growls, an edge in his voice you’ve never heard before. Dangerous and dark.

“Is she not doing you a service? A please would be appropriate–”

“You are not mother. I don’t need you to mind my manners,” Laufeyson girds and nears his brother, unflinching even as he comes up a few inches short of chest to chest, “nor do you need to worry for my staff. She does not take orders from you.”

“And I suppose that’s all she gets from you,” Thor chuckles.

You furrow your brow, stunned by their spat. You’re not quite sure what that last bit meant. You work for Mr. Laufeyson so of course he would tell you what to do. And why are they so volatile? They’re brothers. You don’t have any siblings but you always wanted one. So that you had a friend. So you weren’t alone. 

“Maid, go,” Laufeyson repeats, “now.”

Your eyes widen and you nod. You quickly turn and rush down the hall to the closet. You’re shaking as you try to sort out one phone from the other and find the old list of tasks. You can hardly steady your hands to get a pair of gloves on.

You take your time in the back of the house as you hear the men’s footfalls climb the staircase. You let your nerves settle just a little. You’re alone, for now, and your mission is simple. Clean and stay unseen.

[cuppajj]

I’m gonna close the askbox soon for the time being, I’m getting a little overwhelmed and there have been some recent instances that have made me feel a little uncomfortable. Vent below but fair warning I get a little critical

TL;DR: you are not entitled to my askbox responses, please do not talk at me in tumblr dms, I am not your friend, please don’t come to me seeking personal validation and please do not be parasocial with me

This may sound extreme to some of you, but I want you to know that even though my askbox is open for people to ask me questions about crk and baau, there is no guarantee that I will answer them. I am not obligated to answer everyone’s ask because at the end of the day it’s down to my comfort level and if I feel like answering a specific ask at all, and for some asks I haven’t felt like I can gain much mutual substance from it. I can hear some people out but I don’t want this blog to turn into a place where you can say anything and be guaranteed a response like this is a DM. I get overwhelmed pretty easily if I feel like I’m being talked at and not talked to. I have had instances where a single person will send me a DM or ask everytime moment I mention something they like, but saying nothing in that ask that I can make an answer to. I highly discourage this behavior for my askbox specifically, as I grow generally uncomfortable because I feel like I’m being talked at. And feeling like im being talked at and not talked to is a huge ick of mine spurred by real life experiences.

And no I am highly unlikely to post privately because I barely use that feature, and then it just goes back to feeling like a DM which I don’t want. I don’t want to open up cans of worms with my askbox. I don’t want people to flood my inbox with X reader requests simply because I answered one ask related to it, I don’t want people to flood my inbox talking about themselves and their lives because I answered a few asks related to it. I don’t want to set any more impressions than I already have, also why i have stopped answering asks like them.

I also just want to say that, to avoid fostering parasocial relationships, I hardly know most of you people, and most of you aren’t my mutuals and friends. I appreciate your support and friendliness but I have a fine line between friend and follower. I don’t make friends through DM spam where someone who i barely know and haven’t interacted with talks about themself to me. I also am not here as an approval machine to validate people’s opinions or thoughts. I feel like some people have been growing parasocial with me which is deeply unsettling. Please do not DM me with random things unless we’ve previously interacted as tumblr and especially discord friends. I only accept questions asking for help, comments about specific things related to me, and general notices about things I should be aware of, like someone stealing my art. Please don’t expect long and/or consistent conversations with me if we are not mutuals and especially if we are not friends. And please do not be someone I barely know coming to me seeking personal validation from me.

I should also add that mutual in this instance means mutual follower, not mutual friend. I see mutual on the same definition as an acquaintance in most instances. I consider us friends if both of us are calling each other friends.

So this means do not send me pictures of you or your pets. I will see it but I am very likely not going to answer.

For BAAU specific questions, I have also had people ask me about why I haven’t answered them and it goes back to A). Their questions may have already been answered previously and B, most importantly,) I don’t answer asks I don’t feel like answering. This latter point is v important to me because the last thing I want is for people to feel entitled to know certain things about my AU. I am, for the most part, a one person team working on this, and I decide what’s known and what’s not. If I feel like something isn’t worth answering for whatever reason I feel, I will not answer it. I’m saying this now to—hopefully—lessen the chance of people expecting responses from me.

Edit: However i can also not answer an ask simply because I am waiting for a good time to respond. Whether that be with a drawing or, for baau specifically, when I am ready to share lore pertaining to it.

Edit 2: I know I can respond quickly at times but the speed of my responses should not be treated as a constant, nor indicative of my interest or engagement as a whole.

Again i greatly appreciate how much support I get, and how many people are interested in my AU and what I have to say, but i want to keep the barrier between myself, my friends, and everyone else. I hope this humbles some of you and I hope you can still enjoy my blog and au as they are, but I want to say here and now that I am someone with their own comfort levels, expectations, and thoughts. I still encourage people to send in asks but I want to set the expectation that I am more likely to answer questions/comments about my au or art, and other asks where I feel like a mutual part of the discussion. But even still I can get rid of asks if I feel like they aren’t needed.

Most of you are cool people who im glad to see in my notes, comment sections, and inboxes, but I also respect people who have some consideration for myself as well. Not everyone knows what and what doesn’t make me uncomfortable which is why I’m saying this now. I hope that everyone here continues to be aware and respectful, and most importantly, patient and understanding.

If you read all of this, thank you.

[kale-of-the-forbidden-cities]

Just thinking about Fitz and Keefe. They're both so jealous of each other. It spiraled into more and more talking about fitz and vacker imperfections and stuff, enjoy :>

(I rambled out the draft on discord, but I did change a few things and add on a bit at the end, so if you feel like rereading it might make more sense now)

tw: breif mentions of ed, suicidal thoughts, and implied sh, but they're all like very brief and not descriptive just want to put a warning

Remember in Flashback when Sophie and Fitz were going all Fitzphie on Keefe's mind, and they found the memory of Alden telling Keefe he was proud?

Imagine it hurt so bad for Fitz when he watched that. Because Alden never says that to Fitz even when he came out on top, no matter how perfect he was, so why did Keefe get that kind of praise?

Keefe may have come out second to Fitz with Foxfire grades, but Fitz has always felt second to Keefe in everything. No matter how perfect he tries to be or how much of a people pleaser he is, it seems inevitable that everyone likes Keefe better anyway.

And how could they not? He's funny, he's messy, he's imperfect.

Fitz could never be like keefe. His family would hate him. But they still like Keefe better.

Alvar always liked Keefe better than his actual little brother. Even though Fitz looked up to Alvar more than anyone! He admitted that in Neverseen!

Alden told Keefe he was proud of him?? for coming in second? Even after all the studying and work Fitz put into being first, being top, being perfect, people always choose keefe, Which is one of the reasons Fitz was so insecure about Sophie spending a lot of time with Keefe while she and Fitz were dating, he was scared she was going to leave him for Keefe, like people always do, because he's just better. he's nicer, he doesn't lash out at people, he doesn't have as much pressure on him because he never cared about pleasing his parents.

AND SHE DID! Sophie did leave him for Keefe. Even though Fitz promised to take things at her pace. Even though he said he'd wait. But it was the match lists that ended up breaking them apart. But what was Fitz supposed to do?? Not care about the match? There had never been a Vacker bad match, and Fitz beign the first one, after everything Alvar did and how much all the Vackers already hate these five in particular, it would bring a whole new level of shame on the family. Not just him, but Biana and Alden and Della too.

Keefe is allowed to not care about this stuff, because he's not perfect. Fitz is so, so, so jealous of Keefe because he GETS TO BE IMPERFECT. HE'S ALLOWED TO MAKE MISTAKES. He's allowed to feel things.

Keefe's parents are awful, Fitz's parents are fine. Anytime Fitz dares to think "hey maybe my parents are manipulating or using me or putting unrealistic expectations on me" he also remembers that he has it GOOD. He's so lucky compared to everyone else. So he has no right to be upset about anything.

In Flashback, Fitz actually says something like this to Sophie: Sophie had to grow up with humans, Keefe has his whole thing with his parents, Dex was bullied for being the son of a bad match, Tam and Linh were banished… so he's had it easy! He has no right to feel sad when his life is just. so. perfect.

And the thing is, everyone thinks his life is perfect. Especially Keefe! Keefe is always talking about how the Vackers are perfect and lucky and he wishes he was one, when inside, Fitz would secretly rather be Keefe. Even with the whole everything with his parents, at least he doesnt have to be perfect! At least he's allowed to disappoint his parents, because theyre bad parents! And people always like him more. Without fail, Fitz has always felt second to Keefe. Every time he thinks he did good, people go to keefe for being imperfect.

Why did keefe get Alden's praise when he came out second in the level? Fitz barely slept to make sure he came out on top! If Fitz had gotten 98/100, he wouldn't be yelled at, but he'd get a disappointed talk. Why is it different with Keefe, who isnt even Alden's son, why does Alden like him more?

So Fitz ends up spiraling and obsessing more and more.

He can't be imperfect like Keefe, he wouldnt dare. So he does what he can to be as perfect as possible. Maybe he just needs to get a hold on his temper. Wait till he's behind closed doors to do anything but smile. Maybe he needs to eat less, get a perfect number on the scale. Maybe then he'll be good enough.

But he's never good enough.

Nothing he does will ever be good enough.

Keefe is reckless, imperfect, and messy. but even though Fitz does his best to not step a toe out of line, he does everything he can to be perfect...... They keep picking Keefe. without fail, no matter what.

Fitz knows he shohld accept defeat, accept that he'll never be good enough for anyone because of everything he's done to try to be perfect, but he can't stop trying.

He'll keep pushing himself, he'll stay up for hours studying, looking for clues about the Neverseen, going through Alvar's old room, he'll do ANYTHING for someone to say theyre proud of him. For someone to tell him that he did good, for once in his life, but they never notice.

It's never "Wow, you've been working so hard, good job!" or "You look good, did you lose weight?" or "Thanks for helping out, thanks for at least trying"

EVEN THOUGH HE DOES NOTHING BUT TRY. HE'S TRYING SO HARD

Instead, people are saying things like "You look awful, you've got bags under your eyes" (maybe he should put on some makeup to hide that) or "You never join us for dinner, it's like you hate us" (he does. he secretly hates his family so much) or "You've gotten so distant that you're ruining all your relationships with your friends and family" (what else is he supposed to do? they dont like him anyway)

He's driving himself insane over being perfect, only to have people like Sophie say that he's "too perfect." HE JUST CANT WIN!

He's not allowed to make mistakes, but maybe the worst mistake he made was being too perfect!

But how does he stop?

He can't. he trapped himself here. He's convinced he brought this on himself, but he cant get out of this cycle,

And nobody else will get him out,

Because he's not perfect enough.

If they havent noticed his struggling, maybe they dont care enough. But Fitz has gotten so good at hiding it. Nobody will notice until he passes out in the hall or just fucking kills himself because it's too much.

Fitz thinks, why is it that Keefe's allowed to be open about hating himself, and yet as soon as he makes the slightest self deprecating comment, he's suddenly "being dramatic" or "looking for attention"?

And we're back to talking about Keefe again.

None of this is Keefe's fault but he will still feel so so guilty. He felt Fitz's jealousy and hurt when they watched the memory of Alden saying he's proud of him.

Keefe and Fitz are constantly comparing themselves to each other, but by the end of the story, Keefe will be getting the help and support he needs to move on from it. Fitz never showed it and wouldnt dare admit it. So he does not.

Alden and Cassius both seem to prefer the other's son.

Even with Fitz and Biana. There's still a bit of jealousy there, because Biana is starting to seperate herself from her family, and start her own "Vacker Legacy," whatever that means.

After Nightfall, biana has grown more comfortable with herself, she is challenging what it means to be a Vacker, realizing that their family isn't all it's claimed to be. She has no shame in being her fun confident self, and crying when she needs to, and showing off her scars, while if Fitz showed his scars, he'd probably end up in a psych ward or something (or at the very least getting yelled at).

Fitz is jealous of Biana almost as much as he's jealous of keefe. She's never been quite perfect either, but it's always in a good way, isn't it? she's managed to keep her friends (not including the earlier books) and she used to be a bit of a jerk to people, so people can look back and see how far she's come.

Fitz has only gotten worse over the years, and he knows it. he hears what people say in the halls. their whispers hardly hide it. He's presented himself the way he wanted to be - perfect. But it gets harder and harder to hide his imperfections, and people only notice the bad things, don't they? They don't worry, they only judge.

Biana's probably dealing with her own issues, as everyone in the Vacker family does, but she can be more honest about it. She's starting to break the habit of plastering on a smile and saying everything's fine. She's working on her relationship with people. She's like reverse Fitz.

Fitz fears he's going down a similar path of destruction to Alvar, but he counters those fears by being Alden's perfect golden boy like he was always supposed to be. Alden has such a hold on Fitz, he'd do anything for him if Alden worded it right. Ever since he was a kid he always knew he'd do anything to please his parents, even if it was potentially dangerous. But nobody has seemed to even bat an eye when they hear how young Fitz was when he went to the Forbidden Cities. So he must be overreacting, right? Because how could Fitz's childhood be anything less than perfect?

See, when Sophie started learning a little bit about Fitz's past and how things were actually not perfect in the Vacker house, she started to ignore him more and more. She had her other reasons, but to Fitz, it seemed like she was seeing how imperfect he really was, and he's not everything she hoped for. So he panics, and does his best to prove to her that he is the perfect boyfriend she wanted, but it didn't matter anyway because... she. liked. Keefe. better.

And Fitz hates himself so much for wishing he was keefe because Keefe has it so bad with the legacy thing, he hates how he wishes his parents were worse so he didn't feel so guilty every time he made a mistake that would disappoint them.

Not one person in Fitz's life has ever chosen him first. With everyone. There's always someone they love more.

Della loves Biana more, Biana chooses her friends, Sophie chose Keefe, Keefe chose Sophie.

Alden seemed to favor Keefe, or his work, or even just the ways he uses Fitz instead of loving him as his son or as a person. Maybe that's why Fitz is so desperate to listen to Alden, to please him, because he's the only person who seems to even care, even if he only cares when he's doing good or being perfect.

Alvar would choose Biana or Keefe over Fitz any day, even before the betrayal. Fitz still looked up to him, despite his vague dislike for Fitz. He likes Biana better because he thinks she'd understand better what the Vacker legacy is, Because FITZ IS PART OF IT. HE'S ADDING ONTO IT, WHATEVER IT IS!

Yep that's all I have, feel free to add your own ideas :3

tags:

@fitz-avery-vacker @autistic-daydreamer

[wingzie]

The Life of a Jikooker, Online and Offline

Sometime last year I revealed my real first name on Twitter. Though I am known more prominently as “Wingzie”, a name given to me by a good friend of mine, I wanted to add a bit more of a human touch to my account. It was a reminder that, even if I spend a rather large amount of time making posts, I also have a life away from the screen. There's been a few occasions when my army life and personal life have become interlinked.

I am lucky enough to have made wonderful friends since becoming Army. Thus, I will always say that your fandom experience and enjoyment will depend on who you interact with and what you engage with. It's because of these friends that I have been to South Korea or gone to Olle in London for BTS’ tenth anniversary. I've explored new local places or exchanged gifts. It's also because of these friends that I felt safe enough to talk about Jikook in my first ever group chat in 2019. I feel a certain love and connection between us, online and offline, that I don't think many others will understand. 

However, there is a certain loneliness in being a jikooker. I have been unfairly judged or dismissed just for talking about them. Either individually or as a unit. It calls into question why this is. I personally do not see myself as a shipper. The definition of a shipper is that you WANT them to be together and that is not the case with me or many other jikookers at all. The definition of shipping has changed so much that we are seen as bad people just for talking about them, when we are just talking about their moments together.

In the last few months or so I have experienced more of an Army life outside of Twitter. I have been to various offline events and spoken to so many and I couldn’t help but notice two things: 1) Jikookers have a terrible reputation

2) People are scared to talk about them as a unit compared to others. The first part can be somewhat understandable and it’s why I never bother fighting. It brings negative attention to them, when we should be boosting them instead. All they see are people just attacking each other and it is sadly true that a small number of Jikookers are Tae antis. I have left a few group chats because of that or because of ex-jikookers hating on Jimin or Jungkook. However, there are also a huge number of us that DON'T behave this way and it depends on what you focus on.

At a previous event I bumped into a local Tae bias. She clearly knew who I was and was under the impression that I hated Tae. I soon proved her wrong but I guess this is where some of the problems lie: There are a lot of focus on stereotypes, without giving us the chance to prove otherwise. I have also been to events where Army have cited misinformation and they needed to be corrected. I am aware that not everyone has my memory, but they were so callous about their comments that I was shocked. There was a huge disconnect between reality and what they were thinking and it is so important to check sources. Especially when BTS' history and ours is so rich and can be easily accessible in this social media age. 

Being scared to talk about Jikook is something that will always confuse me. I joined a BTS Discord and left shortly afterwards when I realized that they had a channel for every until apart from Jikook. I also went to an event shortly after the “You can handle it” Weverse Live and the group I was with mentioned every single part of that Live, apart from when Jimin was in the comments. They also said some things about Jungkook that made me feel really uncomfortable and they ignored what I was trying to say. They saw him as a puppet, for their own desires, rather than his own person. And I think that is also something I have seen on the increase lately. It should be allowed and in fact encouraged to talk about them as a unit without being shamed for mentioning them together. Ignoring them doesn't help either.

I am Jimin and Jungkook biased, but the definition of having a bias itself has also changed. You cannot say you have a bias now without automatically saying “but I love all of them”, when that should go without saying. I have seen this change since Mots:7 and it emphasises how much the fandom definitions have changed and how it has also shaped our communities. I have been to other events where I am sadly seen as an anti, once they find out my Twitter ID. My account includes all members, I just happen to post about Jikook and their moments most of all and there is nothing wrong with that. Ultimately, I wrote this without any clear message or goal in sight. I just wanted to express what I have experienced and my feelings about it. I will always cherish the memories I have with those that are closest to me and our beautiful conversations about BTS or Jikook. I just wish others did the same and understood what this community is actually about, online and offiline. My account will always be a safe place for all the members and I refuse to be villainized for talking about Jikook at the same time.  Much Love Wingzie/Becca

[olderthannetfic]

All this talk of plural kit and people claiming alters etc... *sigh*. I was diagnosed with DID in 2007. Spent a long stint inpatient and even longer on antipsychotics. So much therapy... Group, outpatient, occupational, and intergration therapy (which has since gone out of fashion in treatment programs so I know already I'm an outlier). My entire life was taken over in a Bad Way by this illness that is acquired by severe, sustained trauma during early childhood development. And the kinds of people being talked about exhaust me. The sudden rise of "meet my alters!!" videos on tiktok were a major contributing factor to me quitting the platform and cosplaying there. I have left discord servers because of these people because I get so frustrated by them. They're the reason I feel like I can't talk about my experiences with this fucking *life ruining* illness that stole my childhood all the way into early adulthood from me. Even my new therapist as of this past month gave me a look of skepticism and uncertainty at the mention of my diagnosis, because of (usually very young) people claiming alters/systems. It's not quirky or interesting. It sucks. It's an extremely serious and disorienting condition. And this shitty behavior adds to the stigma against DID sufferers. It's what keeps me basically in the diagnosis closet. But on the flip side-- I feel like the internet goes in cycles. It just reminds me of "I am the reincarnation of Goku" era of the internet. Back when it was still called Multiple Personality Disorder. Everyone wants to be popular and interesting and escape the consequences of their actions. I believe there's maybe mental illness happening in these people. Is it *really* DID though? Questionable. I can only hope that people who have these interactions with these people don't hold it against all individuals with DID. Most of us are actually just trying to function and not make our entire existence about this frustrating and crippling illness.

--

[scruffyssketchbook]

…Go on...I'm listening...👀

(Bro I’ve been obsessing over him for DAYS. It’s not HEALTHY.)

No one wants to engage with me with my rambles about them tho 😭😭😭😭 LIKE WHY IS IT SO HARD TO FIND PEOPLE TO YAP ABOUT SSEC TO??? I just want to TALK BRO, but everyone is like “no I don’t want to DM her, I’ll be bothering her” or “I don’t care about ssec, I just want to talk to you” or “I’m just going to talk to her in the discord servers (WELL I CANT SAY SPOILERS IN TGE DISCORD SERVER)” LIKE, THANK YOU FOR CARING BUT DM ME ABOUT SSEC PLZ PLZ PLZ, I’LL TALK WITH YOU, PLZZZZ?????? (This invitation is for adults only btw.)

LIKE ITS GETTING SO BAD THAT I’M THINKING ABOUT GOING BACK TO SOMEONE WHO LITERALLY CONSTANTLY WRECKED MY MENTAL HEALTH FOR YEARS!! but like, they were really into ssec and helped me a lot, and was NOT in love with me, so was it really bad? 🥺🥺🥺 I am totally normal about SSEC. Yup yup. Yes sir. Very much normal. Let me at least TRY to keep my peace. This is a last resort.

anyways, I’ll be rambling here. Not sorry!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

OK SO LIKE. IN SSEC, Teal is dating an eevee named Ryuu, and since they are dating in ssec so I made them date in Box 31. NOW, THEY ARE SO CUTE LIKE RAHHHHHH.

Spoilers below ❤️

They are total opposites, with Teal being a BIG and calm and sweet fisherman while Ryuu is a short and spicy fashion model (don’t call him short tho, he will get mad LOL). Anyways, Before they got together, they knew of each other vaguely, but like they didn’t get to actually know each other until Teal started dating Miku. Ryuu, who had just broken up with Miku, was trying to warn Teal about her, and he got really REALLY invested in Teal’s wellbeing because like- Teal is so kind and sweet. 🥺 So after Teal inevitably breaks up with Miku (Miku has like- ten Exes at the start of Box 31 ok, it’s wild) the two start hanging out more with each other, and Ryuu falls for Teal HARD. Teal’s quiet confidence, the way Teal’s life is so much more different from his, more quiet, more simple. After always being in chaos, whether it’s at home (cause Icedrop) or as a model, the quiet calm that’s just being with Teal relaxes him. And Teal just finds Ryuu to be adorable. The way Ryuu pushes him out of his comfort zone and the way Ryuu is just so unapologetically himself, thriving in the spotlight and sharing his thoughts with no hesitation is so admirable to Teal. Ryuu is also super funny as well and makes him laugh so that’s a plus too. They both just bring a light to the other’s life that they didn’t think they were missing.

SO RYUU ASKS TEAL OUT AND THEY START DATING AND BECOME BOYFRIENDS AND ARE BOTH VERY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND THEY ARE SO CUTE BRO 😭😭😭 I’M GOING TO HAVE THEM GET MARRIED TOO AT SOME POINT IN THE SERIES!!! (Mostly cause I want a certain character I’ve also been obsessing about to start thinking about Marriage :3) TEAL IS THE ONE WHO PROPOSES BTW ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you Miku for fumbling the bag so hard you brought two of your Exes together 🥰

She’s such a girl failure and I love her for that.❤️❤️❤️

Ryuu and Teal are side characters who have very little influence on the story btw.

Edit: I forgot to add. TEAL CALLS RYUU “HIS HONEY” AND RYUU CALLS TEAL “POOH”

AACCCKKKKKKKK

[thecoppercompendium]

An overdue reintroduction

I've been here a while and, to be honest, my original pinned post is a touch outdated at this point. I've made a tonne of stuff since then, for a start.

So, hi! I'm Daniel (he/they) an indie TTRPG designer. I've made 7 original games to date, as well as several supplements for D&D 5e and some that are system agnostic.

I'm based in the UK, am interested in pretty much anything TTRPG-related (and adjacent areas, too), and love to hear about the awesome stuff people are designing! Seriously, there are so many talented people on this website.

I'm a member of UK TIN (UK Tabletop Industry Network), and cannot recommend having a bunch of people to talk to about TTRPG design with enough (if you're UK based, go join the TIN discord!). I'd love to discuss design and people's games here, too!

Right, on to my games! I'm only going to put my original games on this post (for the pretence of brevity), but I'll put links to my itch.io and DriveThruRPG above the cut if you want to check out everything I've made. For the rest, delve below the divide!

Let the games begin!

A one page, card-based game about struggling to prepare for and survive the coming revolution, as the advisors of the current ruler. Backstabbing not required by highly suggested. Pay-what-you-want.

Get it on itch.io

Get it on DriveThruRPG

A little one page solo game about pushing a boulder up a hill. One more try. Maybe this time you'll reach the top. Pay-what-you-want.

Get it on itch.io

Get it on DriveThruRPG

Who doesn't want to make a monster? Another one page game, in which you and friends dissect hated documents to create glorious life. Mind the angry mob, looks like you've upset the villagers... (Pay-what-you-want.)

Get it on itch.io

Get it on DriveThruRPG

A game based on Caltrop Core in which players delve into the cursed fragments of the old world, within the temples the Old Gods left behind. You might explore a twisted mirror of a city street, a school or even a space station. Use the power of your mutations and curses to overcome the odds and emerge alive. Paid, but with community copies available on itch.io.

Get it on itch.io

Get it on DriveThruRPG

Do you have days where the world just doesn't want you to reach your destination? That's what this one page solo game is about. Made after a discussion about getting to UKGE with UK TIN. Pay-what-you-want.

Get it on itch.io

Get it on DriveThruRPG

A solo, card-based game about climbing a mountain and learning who you are as you climb. Begin with a bare-bones character and learn who you're playing as you overcome obstacles and ascend ever higher. Not everyone will make it to the top. Everyone has a journey worth making. Paid, but with community copies available on itch.io.

Get it on itch.io

Get it on DriveThruRPG

A one page minigame for solving complex puzzles, for instance lockpicking, hacking or creating a precise chemical. Uses codebreaker-type mechanics with scaling difficulty. Pay-what-you-want.

Get it on itch.io

Get it on DriveThruRPG

Thats all for now folks! I'll add new games when I create them! I've always got a bunch in progress, as is the game designer's dilemma...

[ukrieger-official]

Okay so hehehehe, it’s time to announce the winners.

I wanna say it was REALLY hard to pick the winners because all the entries were so good in different ways, all stood out to me and were done beautifully and I appreciate the effort so much, thank you 🤍

I am sorry it took so damn long to announce the winners but I’m too soft sometimes and wanted to wait for everyone to be done lol

Anyway I really want everyone to be a good sport about who did and didn’t win, please be nice to those who did win!

THE WINNERS ARE:

@certifiedperkaholic (first one)

@schtubawl (second one)

__

Both of your lovely arts just POPPED and it’s hard to explain why but I think both just feel like Rich and his personality radiates off both of them. I love the accurate details, the art style (oh you know how I love aesthetic art styles) the colours and all are accurate. I love the backgrounds on both, they’re AMAZING. THE MIRROS TOO LIKE AAAAUUUUGHHHH YAS SLAY

Sometimes art just hits the right place in my soul and brain and they both did!

So for the prizes here’s what I said:

I DID add that you could have my social media, but thats up to you. I already talk to @schtubawl on discord. I changed that being the prize because I don’t wanna seem like my friendship is inaccessible to anyone lol

Do message me though if you’d like my discord or something else ^^

For the free commissions, you both get those of course. We can discuss it more is messages after Christmas is over! Ill let you know when I’m free! I’m waiting to get a new iPad and pencil too, so if you give me extra time to get those too then that would be perfect. ProCreate has been so slow lately because my old ipad is shit lmfao and the nib keeps falling off my pen hahaha

For now I will link you to that crazy Rich quotes lol

In the meantime if you haven’t already, maybe think about what you’d like to commission me! One character, full body, some kind of full body coloured visual reference is required because Im unable to draw based on a description. If you want a portrait then let me know! We can talk about it more later :3

ANYWAY GOD SO MUCH TYPING BUT THANKS EVERYONE FOR JOINING AND HAVE FUN AT CHRISTMAS 🎄