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chiililisatoo · 2 months ago

Text

My Last GilArt post

It had been real : I love Gilgamesh as a character and the original Epic of Gilgamesh and FGO babylonia chapter , and CCC secret gardens of Gilgamesh, got me through a really tough phase in Life so I am very grateful to Nasu and Gilgamesh of Fate and og irl Gilgamesh ; I also ship GilArt Cause i see genuine love on Gilgamesh's end for Saber Artoria and i find their union compatible and fateful poetic , Gilgamesh is a wise advisor to a monarch , So here's a short headcanon / fanfiction to celebrate my recovery and moving on in Life, pardon my loose/weak writing :

Archer Gilgamesh swallowed his pride and attempted courting the first and only woman he has loved ,

The woman of his not very discrete affections stood a few feet away from him , her eyes had a strong emotion in them which he assumed to be similar to his own and her gaze as always was directed to the mongrel with his faking technique , it hurt to see it but he persevered , he was a king after all , he could handle a woman's naive foolishness ,

His efforts at being politer with her and toning down his heat on other team members, taking their cause seriously well as seriously as he could concern himself with these mongrels and their struggle, and his wisdom was also given to these mongrels cause' , he was quite confident his efforts had earned some reciprocation from the blue saber, so he decided to be bolder today :

He waited for the mongrel to leave , he could swallow his pride around saber he was not ready to let a mongrel see him getting rejected

When he saw saber alone he walked towards her gave her a polite greeting : "Heading out early today King of Knights ? "

She turned her head slightly and gave a slight nod after a pause "yes , I have some matters to attend to ..." , Gilgamesh swiftly

closed the gap between , cupped her face in his right gauntlet careful to not hurt her ivory skip and placed his lips against hers tenderly in a chaste kiss , he held her that way for a few moments , when they seperated he stared in her eyes , they were bright and wide and and her face was slightly flushed in that moment he felt elation rising inside of him ,

But alas in the next moment he felt the blazing heat from her drawn sword and felt her blade against his neck , he stood still to not escalate the situation as he looked into the burning hatred in Saber's eyes

Something snapped inside him in that instant he held the tip of her blade at her neck with his gauntlet and hurled it forcefully towards the ground, turned away from the King of Knights and stormed away swiftly without looking back :

Years of longing, Years of Courting had amounted to absolutely nothing , Had he ever put this much effort into obtaining any treasure ever ,

Yes , that one time...

He had never longed this much for even Enkidu though he would never let him know that

His frustration was piling up he had to redirect his mind elsewhere immediately

Luckily he caught his younger self sitting at the library and decided his younger self is the best remedy for his adult frustrations

He sat across his younger self , his younger self spared him only a polite nod and went back to working with a magic pen artefact and writing into his tablet and flipping pages through the books he was working out with such gusto he was mildly amused , in sometime his curiosity got the better of him and he went to stand behind his younger self and trying to read what he was working out , the language was ancient sumer and also had some mathematical symbols it looked like his younger self was using a code in his writing , well he might as well try to crack it ... when he heard his younger self speak :

"Its Aristotle's take on what it means to be A God, a human and an animal or lesser life form , the younger iskander brought it up and so I am working it out cause i want to see what it means to be a God, a human and an animal" ,

"Ho .. i see you have gone through quite a few materials ... What have you understood thus far ?"

His younger self looked at him with a look he could not quite fathom :

After a long pause , " What did you feel when that reptile , snake was it ? that ate the plant you found after such a long journey ?"

Archer Gilgamesh softened, the young servant was himself but he was still just a child ,

"In that moment i felt freed from my destiny, of converting humans to god or forcing them to pray to gods and be bound to them , I finally understood what it meant to be human and found strength in my human blood and strength in my kinghood kingship and my subjects, I lost my fear of death and felt power in my kingship and my kingdom , I put faith in my dynasty to make me immortal in the truest sense , my being recorded as King of Heroes and my NPs are the testament of that "

His younger self looked at him with wide eyes so full of awe and admiration he felt his chest swell with pride for himself of course

"So adult me in that moment or later did you become a GOD ?"

Well ...

He had found the strength in his human blood , strength to fight , strength in his human limitations, his kingship and strength in his convictions ,

But he never had control on his destiny

Never .... No control on his destiny

His mind drifted back to that moment earlier with the Blue Saber and how he came here

He remembered the singularity in which his Uruk and his throne was torn down to shreds

He remembered the immortality plant in his GoB that he never consumed

He remembered ishtar and nd how she caused Enkidu's death

Ishtar a full goddes unlike him a demigod had no control of her destiny either

Neither did Ishtar's Father or anyone of the Gods of the Age of Gods : No God, No Human no animal or homunculus no divine or human construct had any control on their destiny ....

No one and nothing had a control on their destiny .....

He cleared his throat of the rising bile in him ,

"Well , of course not , but I was worshipped as a deity some dynasties down mine own "

His younger self did not seem satisfied by that (of course he was not but Gilgamesh was not about to tell a child that no one and nothing has a control on their lives that most lives were worthless to everyone even themselves and any meaning and purpose was difficult to find and practice )

But he had successfully given his life meaning and purpose when he was alive and as a heroic spirit

He had trained his mind and dedicated it to seek elegance and beautiful objects and beings and own them for himself by force if necessary , he sought pleasure too for himself but not as rampantly as his alive teenage self , yes he was being selfish taking what he like and enjoyed for himself, woth no regard for consent or harm it would do to humanity or other beings or causes , he was above everyone and what he did was the rule and they had to deal with it

That is how he gave purpose to his existence and that is how in his mind he could control his own mind hence maybe even his destiny, his purpose was to expand his own treasury and everything in existence was his to seek and enjoy: that is how he existed and felt in control

Well except for the Blue Saber ....

his trance was broken by the child's query

"Say, why did you not consume the plant of immortality when you got it the second time, would not being immortal make you closer to a godly existence or at least closer to being a GOD "

He was not going to have the conversation of no control on destiny , his penchant for violence wnd smaller humanity so he could observe and maintain his rule with iron fist or better control than widespread humanity, his seeking of pleasure and taking everything for himself just so he could feel like he is in control in his mind

Why did he not eat the plant ?

Why of course , is it not obvious , cause he wanted to die and stay dead ?

Gods ? Those gods who died screaming to human constructions ?

Demi gods who found their purpose in plundering humanity ?

Humans who kept struggling with no rational argument as to what point and purpose and what is to be seeked at the end of the tunnel

He wanted to die and stay dead

If he had a sy he would never let himself be summoned even as a HS

Having no consciousness and hence to need to seek purpose or pleasure

Is the only solution he could come up with to his pain of living

So if was going to die he wanted to stay dead and before that he would rule with all his might

And that is why he did not consume the immortality plant

Of course he would not reveal that to a child himself or not or to anyone else even his own self if he were multiple summoned per chance that was his and only his mind would know

So he returned the kid's question with :

"Why do you ask that ? Do you perhaps want to become a GOD "

"Well I wouldn't mind if I can .." the child replied shyly

Gilgamesh's eye brows rose ,

"Ho , Your reason ? "

"Well it would make me more powerful so I could be more Victorious and i get to rule wider .."

Victory ? Power ? Victory through Power ?

Archer Gilgamesh chuckled to himself ,

Well a child should learn and develop for themselves

"Yes of course there is no need for you to inhibit your pursuit for godhood just because i failed at it or did not seek it . Seeking ones desire is the only way for one to live "

This seems to have drowned whatever doubts his younger self was having as after a slight nod with glowing eyes and flushed cheeks his younger self returned to his study with increased fervor

Seeking out ones desire is the only way for one to live ....

So in this existence as a HS did he seek godhood, beauty, greatness, power , immortality , inventions or victory

Did he seek death and non - existence ?

If he somehow deleted his entire saint graph from the throne would he be non - existent for ever ?

That was an interesting thought ....

----x--x--x------

Few Months Later

----X--X--X-------

Merlin and a small council of HS were discussing their current predicament

A Lostbelt's information was to be stored away for further deep analysis : this information be transformed and used correctly would be a valuable weapon specifically for chaldea made by chaldea for chaldea with a defence mechanism against outer interventions similar to Archer Gilgamesh's Ea ,

And this processed data might even reveal their true enemy and let them pull one up against their opponents

This was a good idea but this involved processing data of almost equal to a full planet and transforming it with encryption for themselves required a lot of energy and skill

Who could possibly do it ?

Why, who better than himself who jeld Ea and his GoB he the first Hero was of course the go to choice , but he Gilgamesh said nothing out loud , let the mongrels squabble among themselves , of course if they asked him of it he would first test them foe their Worthiness to witness his valor

After sometime the small counsel scattered , he made to go away when Merlin called out to him ,

" King of Heroes if you have a moment "

Well he might as well here Merlin out he did help him in Babylonia , " Hmm .."

"I am sure it has occurred to you during our discussion that your Gate of Babylon and Ea and SNI are perfect NPs for attempting this venture of Chaldea "

" Yes it did "

" And you also understand what it would entail ? "

Consuming his entire saint graph and his becoming non - existent ... Maybe forever

" What is it that you want from me , Mage of Avalon ? "

" Well , King of Heroes , would you consider taking on this venture for Chaldea ?"

Would he consider burning his entire saint graph for a signature NP for Chaldea only risking, as he was quite sure of it , becoming non - existent for ever

He thought for a while

Well.....

---- On D Day -----

Merlin and a few other HS watched on as the King of Heroes was stuck inside a pillar of light seemingly unconcious

But inside Archer Gilgamesh's mind was flowing data nearly at the speed of thought which he was processing , only the nodes he felt were important which he discerned with his SNI , his Ea was eating away at his Saint Graph to supply his GoB and SNI the power to interpret for Chaldea, encrypt like Ea so Chaldeans only can use it and process a planets data plus a PHH worth of alternate Phenomena and Textures nearly at the speed of thought

Gilgamesh could now consciously feel his saint graph cutting and screaming

The throne rebelling to not let go of its possession

Typical...

He felt he could feel his life swim before his eyes

There was nothing to see there ... His life flashed before him a million times during his time as a HS ,

His eyes were shut

Just like when his life was leaving him when he was dying as a demigod

He remembered Enkidu's death Enkidu was staring into his eyes when he was dying as a god's machine

If he had been dying in Enkidu's arms would he have his eyes open of closed

He wondered if he should open his eyes and capture his last moments as a HS , but what was so amusing to witness in a group of struggling mongrels

He wondered what he would kike to see if he should open his eyes

His Saint Graph was burning away quickly and his progress on this new construction by him was going at an impressive speed considering it was not his usual methods

These processing and copying reminded him of a certain faker and of those few moments of that loving gaze they held of a certain someone

His mind conjured up a vague image of what he wanted to see

---- Outside Chaldean Group POV ------

The King of Heroes had taken on the challenge,

There were few words exchanged with him when he declared he was going to attempt that large scan

After all he had scorned at them all and this sudden camaraderie did not exactly make them old time Chums

And So they waited in anticipation for Merlin to layout his next orders

A few other chaldeans had joined them as Archer Gilgamesh seemed to be frozen there before them ,

Presently the King of Knights had walked upto Merlin

She looked into the upright and seemingly asleep King of Heroes looking serene with a soft glow surrounding him

She asked Merlin what was going on

It Seems King of Knights was not oart of Merlin's council for this experiment of his

Merlin gave her a briefing and her eyes widened slightly

It seemed King of Knights was caught by surprise by this sudden camaraderie and selfless efforts of King of Heroes , well even more so with how he harassed her

Saber Artoria looked onto Archer Gilgamesh

---- Gil POV -----

He felt a rising urge to open his eyes

He had to see ....wanted to see ... hoped to see .... If he could see at all ...

And so he was going to see....

He opened his eyes slowly , purposefully and quickly searched the face in the small group looking onto him

In a moment their eyes locked and his mind zoomed out to capture her beautiful face fully

His eyes caught her lips move he focused on her lips and he was sure his mind read out very very clearly with a laser focus on her eyes and lips

"Don't go , Gilgamesh "

---- Third person POV -----

As the group looked on something changed around the King of Heroes the light around his burned brighter and his expression changed from serene to a full scorn

He seemed to be in quite some pain yet Merlin held his fingers to his chin and seemed to be analysing it with no further instructions from Merlin the group stood still

After sometime some thing like a small blade or a shaft manifested itself in Archer Gilgamesh's left hand it grew in size and the intense light concentrated around it and moved away from Archer Gilgamesh's body to only his left arm and most intensely around what now looked like a long thin rectangular key

After much longer the light finally died ,

Archer Gilgamesh stumbled forward panting

Merlin and King of Knights both rushed to him

Archer Gilgamesh caught himself, hoisted himself upright and ripped out his now amalgamated with the new Chaldean NP left arm splattering some blood on the ground

Merling collected this artefact , a red transmutation circle of his magic appeared on top and bottom of this key and it disappeared in layers into these 2 circles

Archer Gilgamesh lifted his right arm and placed it gently on the King of Knights left cheek

Neither of them said anything thing

Saber Artoria turned around and said something to Merlin which he seemed to affirm and marched away just like she came

Merlin exchanged a short dialogue with the King of Heroes and Nodded a greeting and left

King of Heroes followed Merlin shortly after along with the rest of the Chaldean group

---- King of Heroes POV ------

His eyes caught and his brain read

" Don't go, Gilgamesh "

He shut his eyes immediately and concentrated heavily on what he was processing

There has to be a way , there had to be

He would find a way out

His mind processed the waves of data, zooming in and out at the speed of thought ,his SNI was working at full throttle, His Ea's swirl keeping the throne and his saint graph burning at bay , had he ever used his Ea this masterfully

Later he would attempt repairing his saint graph , he had a more important task first

He finally found a link from his SNI to this Lostbelt's texture

He found multiple concepts in his NPs of GoB that matched these typical textures and he proceeded to link them together via his GoB and used his Ea and already consumed saint graph to .... Well he was not one to use mage craft but on this special occasion ... He projected his own construction for once in his left arm with his GoB and Ea , he felt his left arm burning and soon lost sensation in it , oh well

He shut his eyes tightly and pushed his SNI even further - he had to construct this as completely as he could with the resources he had collected

He felt a million spikes hitting and exploding against the inside of his cranium

He felt he would soon loose consciousness for real

His breathing was becoming laboured

He felt the blood coursing through his veins heat up like a fire

Then he finally saw it : the encryption that would give Chaldea an advantage even if its only temporary

He locked it into the blade key construction he had projected in his left hand

He then proceeded to meticulously nd he dared say with a genius worked all the data into this construction of his his focus was sharp and he soon completed this task

His burning of his Saint graph had been minimal

He even managed to repair some of it himself

But the damage to his saint graph was extensive - it would show in his GoB and in himself - he might ask Merlin to do something about it

Oh well he would at least walk out of this alive

He made more repairs to his saint graph till it was not critical and proceeded to do some final touches to this new NP

The light around him subsided while the NO was glowing mesmerizing with he heat and fire radiating from it

He had created this beauty

Dare he say as beautiful as the King of Knights' Excalibur if not more

Proud of his accomplishment he took a step forward

And nearly fell to the pain through his spine and weight he felt in his left arm

When he looked at his left arm it was neither radiating with beauty or mesmerizing

It looked like a thin rectangular stub of copper

He held his sigh and tore of his left arm slightly gritting his teeth

Some blood splattered to the ground

He looked ahead of him

Merlin and King of Knights stood before him , behind them farther away the rest of the party

He held out the NP to Merlin , who scanned it away with his magic he marvelled as always slightly at Merlin's true magic

If Merlin was disappointed with his impromptu change in their joint venture , he did not show it

The group behind them held neutral expressions as well

Well he was not known for selfless sacrifice

Maybe they including Merlin had expected him to not gi through with it

Or to fail at it

Merlin also seemed to have not mentioned to Saber that he essentially requested him to go through a suicide mission

He took a careful step forward and reached out to King of Knights who stood still as if she knew what he wanted

When the inside of his right gauntlet touched her left cheek his pondering of non-existence and stillness of death disappeared

When he looked into her eyes he knew what he desired

Pursuing ones desire is what it means to Live

Some things are beautiful because they cannot be obtained ?

He was sure she would look dazzlingly enchanting with his arms , or arm, around her

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