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sophaeros · 9 months ago

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arctic monkeys for clash magazine, april 2010

ON THE ROAD WITH… ARCTIC MONKEYS

Words by Simon Harper Photos by Jason Joyce

As Britain’s favourite band headed out on the European leg of their ‘Humbug’ tour, Clash discovered that Arctic Monkeys were less sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll, and more cakes, ping-pong and Coco Pops…

The city of Offenbach, about twenty minutes south of Frankfurt, was once noted for its abundant leather industry, and is currently the base of the German weather service, but such claims don’t negate the fact that it’s basically a sterile, grey, typically German suburban borough. The arrival of a fleet of trucks and buses, carrying Arctic Monkeys, their crew and stage gear, heralded the notion that for one night only, Offenbach may just come alive with suitably bustling energy.

Offenbach’s Stadthalle is the smallest venue on the Monkeys’ three-week tour of Western Europe. The band have been through Portugal, Spain and France, and know how to kill time during the day while everyone works around them, building the stage for that night’s show. And so, when Clash finds them, upstairs in the Stadthalle’s back rooms, they’re in the middle of a fierce ping-pong match – the game scores being tallied up across the tour. The table, it transpires, is the band’s own, and follows them wherever they go. A set of football goals lie waiting for action, but the small white balls prove more enticing.

It’s a cold, February Tuesday, and these back rooms are where the band will spend the whole day.

Previous encounters with Arctic Monkeys have been somewhat tough – notoriously reticent and famously press-shy, there’s a tangible wall that surrounds them, which is seemingly hard to penetrate. Suspicious stares cut through you, while succinct answers frustrate you. Today, however, they couldn’t be more accommodating.

Clash sits with the quartet in the band-only room, where their personal equipment is kept in a vertical flight case of drawers, and a small fridge is at hand for cold beers. Nick O’Malley, Jamie Cook and Matt Helders sprawl on the leather couches, while Alex Turner perches on the table, often pacing the room, then escaping in search of a lighter. We’re here to talk about life on the road. What starts as an interview eventually descends into louche conversation; daft chat punctuated by much laughter. Perhaps they’re glad to see a friendly face; perhaps the monotony of touring makes them crave any respite; perhaps there’s nothing better to do in Offenbach.

Is being on tour like real life, or does it feel like you’re detached from what real life is?

Matt: It’s probably real life. It doesn’t seem like it’s too separate or miles away.

When you go home is that normality or is it just a continuation of what you do on the road?

Matt: I don’t find it hard to settle back and switch between the two.

Nick: You feel like you’re unemployed when you go home properly.

Like you’ve got nothing to do?

Nick: Yeah, or like if you’ve got a couple of weeks off.

Matt: Like school holidays.

Alex: Does that make this school then?

Matt: Yeah, but it’s like basketball camp or something you enjoy.

How do your friendships cope with life on the road?

Matt: It’s fine.

Nick: Yeah. We know how to not annoy each other. We’ve never really had friction, because we’ve all got a similar outlook on how not to annoy people, I suppose, so there’s never really been any problems.

Alex: (Mock nastily) That’s what you think, mate.

Nick: (Laughs) I suppose if you see the same people every day, after a while you’re bound to get a bit annoyed, but as long as you keep in your mind that it’s just because of the situation and not because you don’t like the person, then you can kind of avoid outbursts that you might not mean. It’s never really been a problem so far.

Do you notice a huge cultural difference between touring Europe and America?

Alex: Even between places in Europe. I mean, often, to be honest, certainly at this stage that we’re at, days like today aren’t uncommon, where you’re out of town and you don’t even really see where you are, as I’m sure you’re aware. But you can really tell the difference just in the show, from the crowd. We did Madrid and Barcelona over t’weekend, and last week Portugal, and they were really excitable and there was like a frenzy going on when we were playing. Whereas I think crowds elsewhere can be a bit more reserved, can’t they, depending on where it is. I reckon one of the best crowds on this tour was a gig we did last week in Porto. We’ve never played there before. There was this real appreciation or something just from the start. You can just sort of feel it, can’t you; ‘We’re all here to have a laugh’.

Alex lives in the States now. Have any of you considered moving to somewhere you’ve visited on tour?

Matt: Yeah. It’s good that you do get to see places that you might consider moving, like Berlin. I could imagine living there.

Does living apart make you appreciate each other more when you’re back together?

Jamie: [Long pause] Mmmm…yeah.

Gone are the days when you’re living round the corner from each other.

Alex: Yeah, I suppose that’s true. You’ve got to sort of organise to be in one place. I suppose that is a bit of an inconvenient drag.

Are there any essential items that you have to pack before you come out on tour?

Jamie: One of them rolly things that gets fluff of your coat. (All laugh)

Alex: I feel like you’re a lot better equipped than the rest of us with things like that.

Yeah, you’re looking very bobble-less.

Jamie: Ah, cheers. Yeah, I did it this morning actually. A quick roll.

Matt: A skipping rope – except I forgot it this time. I’ve lost mine.

Nick: DVDs, stuff like that.

A ping-pong table?

Jamie: A ping-pong table is essential actually. I don’t think we’d go on tour without that.

Alex: Some kind of series…

Matt: A box-set.

Alex: Kinda really discovered that this last year. It was summat I’d never really got into before.

Nick: Any HBO series.

Alex: (Laughs) Yeah. I’ve really learned to appreciate that sort of continuum, because you can follow a thread.

Matt: You know what you need to do the next day.

What have you been watching?

Alex: We’ve got into Deadwood a bit on the last tour. That’s what’s been missing, I think, for me on this tour, some sort of thing like that.

Have you done The Wire?

Alex: Yeah. I went Wire mad on that tour. I just got so greedy. I get so greedy with them things.

Matt: I couldn’t catch up.

Jamie: Yeah, he ditched everyone. I got ditched on t’second series!

Matt: Six in t’morning, I could hear him.

Jamie: You’d get up and that [theme] song would be on. It’d just be crisps all over, a bottle of…

Nick: ‘Wire Beast’s been up all night again!’

Alex: ‘Where’d you get that dressing gown from?’

Jamie: Just laying there with crumbs all over him.

Have you ever had any scares at customs?

Nick: I got searched yesterday actually.

Matt: It was your squeaky wheels, just as I’d said. I said, ‘Them wheels are gonna attract attention.’

Nick: In Germany. A very thorough search, but luckily no glove action.

Jamie: They probably wanted to mend your wheels for you.

Matt: ‘I’ve got summat for that, some GT85.’

Nick: They were really suspicious of me. They really took everything apart and didn’t put it back as neat as I’d put it in.

Alex: At this end, yesterday?

Nick: Yeah, when we arrived in ‘Munchen’.

Alex: They’re quite, like, strict, aren’t they, Bavarian authorities.

Nick: Yeah. They had a look at me belt, everything. All me case and bag. Took everything apart. Then he were like, ‘Where have you come from?’ I went, ‘Barcelona’. He were like, ‘Have you had any contact with drugs in Barcelona?’ I went, ‘No.’ He went, ‘What do you do?’ I said, ‘I’m in a band.’ And he went, ‘Ah’, and then, like, swabbed everything.

Alex: When I got in t’car yesterday, the fella were like, [German accent] ‘If you like to do drugs, do not try and do it in Bavaria.’

American customs scare me most.

Matt: Yeah, it’s a load of questions.

Alex: ‘What are you doing here?’

Jamie: New Zealand were quite funny. We all got pulled…

Matt: We had to sit in them chairs for a bit…

Jamie: And this guy was asking us directly the last time we ever did drugs. Then someone came over who worked for us…and he soon disappeared rather fast. We were fine. (All laugh)

Alex: I’ve come to quite enjoy the American customs people. (All laugh)

Matt: They’ve always got weird names.

Alex: They’re like, [American accent] ‘So you’re in a band, huh?’ You go, ‘Yeah, yeah.’ ‘What do you do in the band?’ ‘Oh, I’m the singer.’ ‘Yeah? You don’t look like a singer to me.’

Nick: ‘Do you sound like Coldplay?’

Alex: Yeah, ‘What kind of music do you guys play?’

Jamie: ‘Do you sound like Staind?’ I went like, ‘Staind? I know them… Fuckin’ hell!’ It took me ages. ‘Yeah, yeah, we sound a bit like Staind.’ When he said it I were like, ‘Yeah, a bit.’

You’ve said before that you wanted to try and get an album out this year. Do you get any time on the road to do any work on that?

Alex: Not really. That’s a bit of a pain in the arse, not being able to rehearse and work stuff out. I don’t think I write very good songs on t’road. They’re all a bit wonky. You get back and you’re like, ‘Hmmm’.

Does it detach you from what we were talking about earlier, ‘real life’? Does it detach you from the things that you want to be writing about?

Alex: I dunno. You can still use your imagination, but I just think, yeah, in your surroundings there’s always about to be something that’s going to happen. You can’t think. I always write wherever I am, but I dunno if the things that come out when you’re touring around always have the shelf life that the other things do.

Have you got any songs earmarked for the next album?

Alex: Yeah. I mean, there’s some ideas, but we haven’t really had the chance to get out the fine toothed comb.

‘Humbug’ was a departure in sound from your previous albums – do you think you’ll continue in that direction, maybe bring Josh Homme in again?

Alex: Not sure, really. We would like to do something with Josh again – it was terrific for us to go on that adventure – but whether or not it’s this next thing, I’m not sure. And also, like, he’s busy! (Laughs) He’s got a schedule himself, doesn’t he?

You went to record over in his place, so do you think next time you’ll have him over to...

Alex: High Green? (Laughs) Homme in High Green? I quite fancy that.

Nick: He’d look like a superhero in High Green, all the bad genetics there are in High Green. He’d look amazing.

Matt: He’d be the biggest man there.

You’ve released a couple of singles exclusively through Oxfam. What made you decide to do that?

Jamie: Laurence and Jonny at Domino came to us with that idea – a great idea for the charity reason, and then cos Woolworths and stuff had shut down, but there were always an Oxfam.

Alex: Like, in towns where there perhaps aren’t, like, an Our Price or something.

Do you have to think of more creative ways to get your records out there?

Jamie: Yeah, rather than just sat at home.

Matt: They should think about making the journey exciting – paint paths a nice colour to the record shops.

Alex: The yellow brick road.

Matt: Something that makes people want to walk to a record shop. Even if it’s just free parking. (All laugh)

Jamie: It’s just too easy to buy music now.

How do you feel as artists about the devaluing of music? Does it annoy you that you’re working hard to make something, but people can just pick it up from their friends?

Jamie: I suppose we were never in the industry when it were big money, when people used to sell twenty million albums. Has that ever happened since we’ve been around?

Probably someone like Dido has.

Jamie: Yeah, that were probably the last.

Matt: It’s like, we wouldn’t expect anything like that to happen to us, so…

Alex: I do think there is people that always will want to go and get records.

Matt: Yeah, it won’t change everybody.

Alex: I was reading a couple of months ago about there’s an idea where you won’t even have – you know like you pull songs off iTunes or whatever – but they were saying you subscribe to a database and pay to get ’em…

Jamie: Spotify, that’s what that was.

Alex: Yeah. But you can’t get them on…

It streams the music – you can’t download them.

Alex: But you can’t do that on your phone, can you?

Matt: Yeah, you can do Spotify on your phone if you pay about £10 a month. Nokia did that thing where you can just pay a monthly thing and you can have as many as you want…

Alex: The fella had a quote, he’s like, ‘There’s nothing sexy about an MP3 on your desktop’. (Laughs) He’s like, ‘There’s nothing sexy about having a subscription to a database’. (All laugh) But then you could just sort of buy a record and stand it up against your wall. Not that that’s particularly sexy, but, you know what I mean… I like things that you can stand up.

Jamie: Like you said the other day, everyone’s just gonna have an empty house.

Matt: Yeah, there’s gonna be nothing on t’shelves. Not even books now.

Jamie: No one’s got any photos anymore, no ones’s got any CDs or records…

Matt: You’ll just have a screen and a chair.

Jamie: You’ll just go, ‘Sound. This is sound.’

Matt: With nowt on your wall.

Jamie: You can just have everything [at your fingertips]; turn your fire on, open your curtains…

Alex: You’d get in it for your bath. (All laugh)

[Alex goes into the band’s equipment drawer, pulls out a giant figure of Freddie Mercury in full-on rock pose. “See, he said he likes things that stand up,” Matt says.]

Does being on an independent label give you the freedom to experiment with your marketing or promotions?

Matt: Yeah. They [Domino] have as many ideas as us for stuff like that, like the Oxfam thing. They tend to think on a similar level, and, at the same time, if we have a suggestion, they’re open to it. It sometimes is a good thing to have a label like Domino, cos they’re experienced in doing weird stuff, and have obviously signed things that aren’t necessarily to make any money or anything, so we’ll listen to them if they have a suggestion, and vice versa. They’d put records out on tins of beans and all sorts. (All laugh)

Jamie: I wanted to do it on a conifer. I wanted to put an MP3 out on a conifer.

Matt: Or just seeds. Christmas tree seeds.

Alex: Yeah. What did they actually do?

Matt: There’s a Jewish guy, I forgot what his name is, and they did it on a kosher chicken noodle soup or something. You buy the soup and you get the code [for the MP3]. Which is good in a way, because he’s just poo-pooing the fact that there’s not much point. It’s an incentive, but it doesn’t get it in the chart, you see. It’s a give-away. So you can sell anything and just have an MP3 code on it. You can sell a car and you’d just get one song.

Jamie: But then it doesn’t count towards t’charts?

Matt: No. The Oxfam thing don’t either, does it. Only the download bit does. You’re not allowed to give away incentives like free stuff, because that’s obviously encouraging people. See, that’s the thing – people might buy the soup and not download the song. ‘I wonder if they make good soup?’

Jamie: When you see a good cover sometimes…

Matt: Yeah, you buy it for the cover.

Alex: Perhaps the epitome of that is you buying a Lady Gaga picture disc. (Laughs)

Matt: Yeah, I did. I’ve been a fool.

Alex: It’s great, cos she’s wearing like a fuckin’ box of Coco Pops or something. (Laughs)

Matt: You could buy that Freddie Mercury thing and get a Queen album, for instance. You don’t need to put it on or owt.

Jamie: You want to make it awkward.

Matt: Buy a chair. Buy a flat pack piece of furniture and you get a code for an album.

Jamie: You have to put your furniture up and send a picture to someone, then they send you the MP3.

Alex: That would make a good video: playing in a bowl of Coco Pops. (All laugh) Remember that kids programme where they used to have to go swimming in a bowl of cereal…

Jamie: Ah yeah. Didn’t they used to do something like that on The Big Breakfast?

Matt: They did, yeah.

Jamie: It were a massive cup of tea and you used to have to get the sugar lumps…

Matt: Yeah, yeah, that was it: One Lump Or Two.

Jamie: One Lump Or Two, yeah!

Alex: It would be great: kid comes down, he’s having his breakfast – Coco Pops – and then, like, Arctic Monkeys are in his cereal. (All laugh)

Jamie: Hot milk, though.

Matt: Hot milk in t’afternoon.

Alex: (Laughs) ‘Why not try Coco Pops after school?’

Jamie: (Laughs) I love that advert!

Alex: It’s the best!

Do your fans give you CDs of their bands?

Matt: They throw them on t’stage! Imagine if you got one of them in t’eye! Fuckin’ hell! Remember in America, a kid got on stage and he had a handful [of CDs] and someone had to grab him to get him off, but he threw them. So he were getting pulled away and he threw them.

Alex: I’ve been getting less CDs though…

Matt: Now they’re throwing download cards at you!

Alex: I got a pair of underpants…

Jamie: People are chucking downloads at you. You’re like, ‘What the fuck?’

Matt: People are throwing zeroes and ones at you – it’s like the credits of The Matrix!

Jamie: You can’t get any flick on a download.

Alex: They’re chucking Spotifys at me. Maybe that’s what them pants were – some sort of code.

I think it’d be a totally different sort of code! Do you listen to the music that fans give you?

Matt: I listened to one that someone gave me the other day. It just were at home though, he just gave it me.

Alex: No more than I’d wear that pair of pants! (Laughs)

Matt: It were just convenient – I were getting in me car and there’s a CD player there.

What’s the strangest thing a fan has given you?

Matt: Just in Japan – everything you get is weird! Like, a monkey hat – it left your own face in but it’s got ears and a tail.

Jamie: And sweets.

Matt: A lot of sweets.

Jamie: We once said, ‘Oh, we like these sweets’ in an interview…

Nick: There’s someone that makes baked goods.

Matt: You got a good one, where it were like a picture of you…

Alex: Yeah, I got like a diagram of myself…

Matt: A diagram, pointing at every bit, and then asking to fill in, like, what his favourite brand of jeans were.

Alex: Hand it back, and then she’d sort of kit me out.

Matt: She’d buy it all! So, like, ‘Favourite shoes? Trainers or boots?’ It would be like that. He’d fill it in and send it back and then she’d buy it. ‘Will this do?’

Alex: Back it came with this jumper that were perfect actually. She really knew me better than I knew meself.

Nick: With baked goods, I know it’s not [spiked], but you never know… It’s probably fine – it’s more than likely fine – but it is a gamble.

Matt: It’s innocent, but someone might have seen that opportunity.

Jamie: I don’t think I’m ever gonna eat a baked good that some stranger’s made. You learn about that. There is a story there…

What’s the first thing you do when you get home after the tour is finished?

Nick: See your friends and family that you’ve not seen.

Matt: I go and get my photos developed. That’s actually one of the first things I do.

Alex: I usually pick up me guitar. Honestly. It’s a deep breath.

Later that evening, Clash is back in the ping-pong room. The tour manager comes to break bad news to the band - the curtain at the front of the stage is broken. They won't be able to make their usual grand entrance. "Ah, we've got to do it," grins Alex. Do what? "We've been saying on this tour if ever the curtain doesn't work, we've got to go on to this song." Which song? "Black Eyed Peas’ ‘I Gotta Feelin’’," Alex beams. The band are giddily bouncing around, electrified by the prospect of taking the stage to the song that's soundtracked many a menopausal vodka-stained Saturday evening's preparatory gathering.

“But when do we go on?" Matt asks.

"The rap. We gotta wait for the rap," Alex asserts.

"We should wait until "Mazel tov”,” Jamie smirks.

Ten minutes later, Clash is amidst the Offenbach crowd when the lights go out and the song bursts from the PA. A wave of euphoria swells, the irony not lost, and right on cue, just as the Peas declare, "I know that we'll have a ball", the four Monkeys stride towards their instruments.

The nineteen-song set covers their three albums - with Nick Cave's 'Red Right Hand’ thrown in for good measure. The last song before their encore is 'Secret Door’ from 'Humbug’. Just as Matt cracks the snare drum that launches the song's long psychedelic outro, cannons on the roof blast out gold and silver confetti over the joyous crowd below, proving that the Monkeys aren't averse to a bit of showmanship every now and then.

The after party is a subdued affair (well, in Offenbach it's bound to be!), with just the band, some friends, crew, and Clash, diving into the beer and nibbles on offer. A fairly drunken chat with Alex about Johnny Cash, Billie Holiday and Gram Parsons rounds off our time with the band, as they retreat back to the confines of their bus, about to depart for Dusseldor and their next gig.

Such a welcome and warm atmosphere is often rare backstage, especially with a band as celebrated as this, but the Monkeys - ever changing and ever surprising - are beginning to make a habit of defying expectations. Growing up has never been such fun.

#arctic monkeys #alex turner #matt helders #nick o'malley #jamie cook #humbug era #clash magazine #interviews #not my scan #bands #screenshots from vk #in another universe they wouldve started a four white men talking podcast #eye contact #my image id

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the-torchwood-archive · 10 months ago

Text

Torchwood Timeline (May 2024)

This is my canon timeline for the Torchwood TV stories, novels, and audio productions. It's fairly similar to the wiki timeline with a few small tweaks. It's also completely spoiler free, unlike the wiki timeline.

Some entries have firm dates, some have months, some have general decades, so I've tried my hardest to fit them into where I feel they fit. If anyone spots anything that I've missed or sees any glaring problems let me know and I'll try to suss it out. New stories will be added as they are released.

1879:

TV: Tooth And Claw

1885:

Torchwood Cardiff is founded

December 24th 1894:

Audio: The Empire Man

1897:

Audio: Infidel Places

1898:

Audio: Save Our Souls

December 24th 1898:

Audio: The Crown

1899:

Scenes from TV: Fragments

Jack joins Torchwood

May 17th 1899

Audio: The Victorian Age

1908:

Torchwood Glasgow is founded

1915

Audio: What Have I Done

Post TV: COE Day 5 in Jack’s timeline

1940s:

Audio: Curios

Audio: The Dying Room

1953

Norton Folgate projects himself to 2016 for Audio: Ghost Mission

1955:

Norton Folgate is projected to 2009 for Audio: Outbreak

1956-1959:

Audio: Goodbye Piccadilly

Audio: Madam, I’m

Audio: Parasite

Audio: Ashenden

Audio: The Unbegotten

Audio: The Black Knight

1965:

Scenes from TV: Children Of Earth Day Four

First contact with the 456

1970s:

Audio: The Dollhouse

1973:

Audio: Double

Torchwood Los Angeles severs all ties

1978:

Audio: Dead Plates

1980:

Scenes from Prose: Trace Memory

Toshiko’s scenes

16th-22nd August 1987:

Past scenes from Audio: Disco

1999:

Alex Hopkins kills his team and Jack Harkness becomes head of Torchwood Cardiff

2000-2004:

Audio: Piece Of Mind

Ben Brown hired by Jack Harkness

Suzie Costello hired by Jack Harkness

Ben Brown deceased

2001-2004:

Scenes from Prose: Trace Memory

Owen’s scenes

2004:

Scenes from TV: Fragments

Toshiko’s scenes

Late 2004:

Audio: Blind Summit

Ianto returns to Wales

Audio: Suckers

February 2005:

Ianto is hired by Torchwood London as Junior Researcher

Scenes from Prose: Trace Memory

Ianto’s scenes

26th March 2005:

Audio: One Rule

Ianto is working as Yvonne’s PA

2005:

Audio: The Last Love Song Of Suzie Costello

Audio: Tube Strike

Audio: New Girl

Audio: Through The Ruins

Audio: Uprising

Audio: My Guest Tonight

Audio: Lola

Audio: Less Majesty

Audio: The Law Machines

Audio: 9 To 5

Sebastian Vaughn hired at Torchwood Three

Audio: The Vigil

Late 2005:

Scenes from TV: Fragments

Owen’s scenes

March 2006:

Owen Harper is recruited into Torchwood Cardiff

TV: Aliens Of London

April-September 2006:

Audio: Sync

September 2006:

TV: Boom Town

Jack confines the team to the Hub

September-December 2006:

Audio: Wednesdays For Beginners

Audio: Crush

Audio: Retirement Plan

29th November 2006:

Audio: Moving Target

January-Feburary 2007:

Audio: Locker 15

Audio: Dinner For Yvonne

Present day scenes from Audio: Disco

Audio: By Royal Appointment

Audio: Nerves

Audio: The Rockery

February-March 2007:

TV: Doomsday

TV: Army Of Ghosts

Scenes from TV: Fragments

Ianto joins Torchwood Cardiff

Audio: War Chest

February 2007-September 2009:

Audio: Coffee

Scenes take place between TV: Army Of Ghosts and TV: Children Of Earth Day Five

August-November 2007:

TV: Everything Changes

TV: Day One

TV: Ghost Machine

Prose: Another Life

Prose: Slow Decay

TV: Cyberwoman

Audio: Broken

Scenes take place between TV: Cyberwoman and TV: They Keep Killing Suzie

TV: Small Worlds

TV: Countrycide

Audio: The Great Sontaran War

TV: Greeks Baring Gifts

Audio: Restricted Items Archive Entires 031-049

Audio: Instant Karma

Audio: Ex Machina

Audio: Drive

November 2007:

TV: They Keep Killing Suzie

November-December 2007:

TV: Random Shoes

Audio: The Last Beacon

Audio: The Conspiracy

Audio: Fall To Earth

Audio: Uncanny Valley

Early events of Audio: The Office Of Never Was

18th-26th December 2007

TV: Out Of Time

Audio: The Grey Mare

December 2007-Janurary 2008:

Audio: SUV

Audio: Missing Molly

TV: Combat

Audio: Hidden

TV: Captain Jack Harkness

TV: End Of Days

January-May 2008:

Audio: Zone 10

Audio: Lease Of Life

February 2008:

Prose: Kaleidoscope

14th February 2008:

Audio: Dinner And A Show

February-August 2008:

Audio: Sigil

May 2008:

Torchwood goes to Tibet

Jack returns to Cardiff after TYTNW

TV: Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

TV: Sleeper

Audio: Serenity

20th June 2008:

TV: To The Last Man

June-July 2008:

Prose: Something In The Water

Audio: Everyone Says Hello

Prose: Trace Memory

TV: Meat

29th June 2008:

Audio: The Lincolnshire Poacher

July-August 2008:

Audio: torchwood_cascade_CDRIP.tor

Audio The Office Of Never Was

Audio: In The Shaodws

TV: Adam

Audio: Tropical Beach Sounds And Other Relaxing Seascapes #4

August 2008:

Prose: The Twilight Streets

August-October 2008:

TV: Reset

TV: Dead Man Walking

TV: A Day In The Death

August-December 2008:

Audio: Corpse Day

Audio: The Hope

Audio: The Three Monkeys

Audio: Gooseberry

31st October 2008:

Prose: Pack Animals

November-December 2008:

TV: Something Borrowed

Prose: Skypoint

TV: From Out Of The Rain

TV: Adrift

Audio: Believe

TV: Fragments

TV: Exit Wounds

Audio: Expectant

Prose: Into The Silence

Audio: Lost Souls

January-February 2009:

Prose: Bay Of The Dead

Prose: The House That Jack Built

Prose: Almost Perfect

Audio: Department X

February 2009:

Audio: Ghost Train

May-September 2009:

Audio: Dissected

Audio: Rhys And Ianto’s Excellent Barbeque

TV: The Stolen Earth

TV: Journey’s End

Audio: The Sin Eaters

Prose: The Wrong Hands

Prose: Virus

Audio: Asylum

Audio: Golden Age

Prose: Consequences

Audio: The Dead Line

Prose: Risk Assessment

Prose: The Undertaker’s Gift

Audio: The Devil And Miss Carew

Audio: Submission

Audio: Outbreak

September 2009:

TV: Children Of Earth Day One

TV: Children Of Earth Day Two

TV: Children Of Earth Day Three

TV: Children Of Earth Day Four

TV: Children Of Earth Day Five

Late 2009:

Prose: Long Time Dead

March 2010:

Audio: House Of The Dead

Events of TV: The End Of Time and Audio: One Enchanted Evening in Jack’s timeline

March-June 2010:

Prose: First Born

June 2010:

Prose: The Men Who Sold The World

October 2010:

Audio: Poppet

18th-21st March 2011:

TV: The New World

22nd March 2011:

TV: Rendition

March-July 2011:

TV: Dead Of Night

TV: Escape To LA

TV: Categories Of Life

TV: The Middle Men

TV: Immortal Sins

TV: End Of The Road

September 2011:

TV: The Gathering

TV: The Blood Line

September-December 2011:

Audio: Army of One

Audio: Fallout

Audio: Red Skies

Audio: Mr Invincible

2012:

Prose: Exodus Code

Audio: Cadoc Point

November-December 2012:

Audio: Dog Hop

Late 2016

Audio: Forgotten Lives

Audio: Visiting Hours

Audio: More Than This

Audio: Ghost Mission

Audio: Made You Look

January-June 2017:

Mr Colchester joins a rebuilt Torchwood

Audio: We Always Get Out Alive

Audio: Night Of The Fendahl

Audio: Smashed

Ng joins Torchwood after this point

Audio: Driving Miss Wells

Audio: Sonny

Audio: Changes Everything

Audio: Aliens & Sex & Chips & Gravy

Audio: Oor

Audio: Superiority Complex

Audio: Love Rat

Audio: A Kill To A View

June 2017-October 2018:

Audio: Zero Hour

Audio: The Empty Hand

Audio: Poker Face

Audio: Tagged

Audio: Escape Room

Audio: Herald Of The Dawn

Audio: Future Pain

2017-2018:

Audio: The Man Who Destroyed Torchwood

Takes place between TV: Superiority Complex and TV: Herald Of The Dawn

October 2018:

Audio: Cardiff Unknown – October 2018

October-December 2018:

Audio: See No Evil

Audio: Night Watch

Audio: Flight 405

Audio: Hostile Environment

Audio: The Green Life

Audio: Sargasso

Audio: Another Man’s Shoes

Audio: Eye Of The Storm

January-March 2019:

Audio: A Mother’s Son

March-August 2019:

Audio: Scrapejane

Audio: Day Zero

Audio: Thoughts And Prayers

Audio: Red Base

Audio: Aliens Next Door

Audio: Colin Alone

August 2019:

Audio: Misty Eyes

2021:

Audio: Goodbye Piccadilly, Audio: Ashenden, and Audio: The Unbegotten for Andy’s POV

Early 2022:

Audio: The Red List

2022:

Audio: Moderation

Audio: Propaganda

Audio: At Her Majesty’s Pleasure

Audio: Cuckoo

Audio: Pariahs

Audio: How I Conquered The World

Audio: The Five People You Kill In Middlesborough

Audio: A Postcard From Mr Colchester

Audio: Death In Venice

February 2023:

Audio: Doomscroll

2023:

Audio: Heistland

Audio: The Apocalypse Starts At 6PM

Audio: Thirst Trap

Audio: Another Postcard From Mr Colchester

Audio: Sabotage

Amendments/Additions:

Feb 2024: Moved Audio: The Vigil from 2007 to 2005

April 2024: Added Audio:Another Postcard From Mr Colchester and Audio: Sabotage to 2023

April 2024: Added Audio: Tube Strike to early 2005

April 2024: Added Audio: Missing Molly to early 2008

May 2024: Moved Audio: Wednesdays For Beginners, Audio: Crush, Audio: Retirement Plan from 2007 to 2006

May 2024: Added Audio: Dinner For Yvonne, Audio: By Royal Appointment and Audio: Nerves to January-February 2007

May 2024: Added Audio: Disco to August 1978 and January-February 2007

May 2024: Moved Audio: Hidden from November-December 2007 to December 2007-Janurary 2008:

#torchwood #timeline #resource

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battyaboutbooksreviews · 7 months ago

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🌈 Queer Books Coming Out in April 2024 🌈

🌈 Good morning, my bookish bats! Struggling to keep up with all the amazing queer books coming out this month? Here are a FEW of the stunning, diverse queer books you can add to your TBR before the year is over. Remember to #readqueerallyear! Happy reading!

[ Release dates may have changed. ]

❤️ Spring on the Peninsula - Ery Shin 🧡 When I Arrived at the Castle - Emily Carroll 💛 Bloodline - Jenn Alexander 💚 Grey Dog - Elliott Gish 💙 Every Time You Hear That Song - Jenna Voris 💜 I'm in Love with the Villainess v. 2 - Inori and Hanagata ❤️ The Caravaggio Syndrome - Alessandro Giardino 🧡 Leather, Lace, and Locs - Anne Shade 💛 Firebugs - Nico Bulling 💙 I Married My Female Friend v.2 - Shio Usui 💜 The Final Curse of Ophelia Cray - Christine Calella 🌈 A Sweet Sting of Salt - Rose Sutherland ❤️ The Selected Shepherd: Poems - Reginald Shepherd 🧡 Rough Trade - Katrina Carrasco 💛 Aubrey McFadden is Never Getting Married - Georgia Beers 💚 Taming of a Rebel - Eada Friesian 💙 Dayspring - Anthony Oliveira 💜 The Titanic Survivors Book Club - Timothy Schaffert ❤️ Orphia And Eurydicius - Elyse John 🧡 The Fellowship of Puzzlemakers - Samuel Burr 💛 A Good Happy Girl - Marissa Higgins 💙 Winnie Nash Is Not Your Sunshine - Nicole Melleby 💜 Here We Go Again - Alison Cochrun 🌈 Women! In! Peril! - Jessie Ren Marshall

❤️ Blood City Rollers - V. P. Anderson and Tatiana Hill 🧡 The Prospects - KT Hoffman 💛 Crazy Like a Fox: Adventures in Schizophrenia - Christi Furnas 💚 WATCHNIGHT - Cyree Jarelle Johnson 💙 Love From The Sidelines - Tuesday Harper 💜 The Pleasure in Pain - Roxie Voorhees ❤️ Mal - Perla Zul 🧡 The Black Girl Survives in This One - Desiree S. Evans and Saraciea J. Fennell 💛 Darker by Four - June C.L. Tan 💙 Otherworldly - F.T. Lukens 💜 Hearts Still Beating - Brooke Archer 🌈 Tryst Six Venom - Penelope Douglas

❤️ Teenage Dirtbags - James Acker 🧡 The Heart Wants What It Wants - D.M. Batten 💛 Something Kindred by Ciera Burch 💚 Sheine Lende - Dr. Darcie Little Badger & Rovina Cai 💙 Rainbow Overalls - Maggie Fortuna 💜 Flowers for Dead Girls - Abigail Collins ❤️ Canto Contigo - Jonny Garza Villa

❤️ Court of Wanderers - Rin Chupeco 🧡 Molten Death - Leslie Karst 💛 Triad Magic - ‘Nathan Burgoine 💚 You, Me and Bad Movies - Twoony 💙 The Faithful Dark - Cate Baumer 💜 A Case for Discretion - Ashley Moore ❤️ Party of Fools - Cedar McCloud 🧡 The Last Love Song - Kalie Holford 💛 This is Me Trying - Racquel Marie 💙 Dear Wendy - Ann Zhao 💜 Sun Eater - Dre Levant 🌈 The Breakup Lists - Adib Khorram

❤️ Bad Dream - Nicole Maines & Rye Hickman 🧡 If We Were Stars - Eule Grey 💛 The Broken Lines of Us - Shia Woods 💚 Eye of the Ouroboros - Megan Bontrager 💙 Henry Henry - Allen Bratton 💜 Dear Bi Men - JR Yussuf ❤️ Paige Not Found - Jen Wilde 🧡 Mechanic Shop Femme’s Guide to Car Ownership - Chaya Milchtein 💛 Wide Awake Now - David Levithan 💙 Merciless Saviors - H.E. Edgmon 💜 Smile and Be a Villain - Yves Donlon 🌈 Crash Landing - Charmaine Anne Li

❤️ Call Forth a Fox - Markelle Grabo 🧡 Central Avenue Poetry Prize 2024 - Beau Adler 💛 Good Bones - Aurora Rey 💚 Curiosities - Anne Fleming 💙 Someone You Can Build a Nest in - John Wiswell 💜 Revisiting Summer Nights - Ashley Bartlett ❤️ Bright Spring - Emmaline Strange

❤️ Girls Night - I.S. Belle 🧡 Late Bloomer - Mazey Eddings 💛 Withered - A.G.A. Wilmot 💚 A Wolf Steps in Blood - Tamara Jerée 💙 It Always Finds Me - Anthology 💜 Dulhaniyaa - Talia Bhatt ❤️ Moon Dust in My Hairnet - JR Creaden 🧡 Blood Justice - Terry J. Benton-Walker 💛 Relinquishing Control - J.J. Arias

❤️ Selamlik - Khaled Alesmael 🧡 Houseswap 101 - Jaime Clevenger 💛 Earthflown by Frances Wren & Litarnes 💚 Covenant v.1 - LySandra Vuong 💙 Honey - Victor Lodato 💜 The Dragonfly Gambit - A.D. Sui ❤️ Double Dyno - Sharon K Angelici & Taylor Rose

#queer books #sapphic books #sapphic romance #lesbian books #lesbian romance #gay books #bi books #bisexual pride #lesbian pride #lesbian fiction #book list #book releases #book release #batty about books #battyaboutbooks

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vrisoterica · 2 months ago

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HAPPY ONE YEAR SINCE WALLSOCKET

I LOVE YOU APRIL HARPER GREY

#underscores #wallsocket #i love you wallsocket .. you changed my life .. i cant believe its been a year it feels like 4 months max

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tooosterduos · 13 days ago

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Who I write for

Criminal Minds:

Jennifer Jareau

Derek Morgan

Spencer Reid

Emily Prentiss

Luke Alvez

Penelope Garcia

Aaron Hotchner

Matt Simmons

Will Lamontange

Avengers:

• Wanda Maximoff

• Natasha Romanoff

• Yelena Belova

• Kate Bishop

• Peter Parker

• Pietro Maximoff

• Steve Rogers

• Tony stark

• Thor Odinson

• Loki Laufeyson

• Clint Barton

• bucky Barnes

X-men:

• Scott summers

• Logan Howlett

• Storm

Jason Todd

Dick/richard Grayson

Roy Harper

Artemis Crock

Conner Kent

Black Canary

Barry Allen

Bruce Wayne

Zatanna Zatara

Greys anatomy

Alex Karev

Arizona Robbins

Mark Sloan

Lexie Grey

Izzy Stevens

Christina Yang

George O’Malley

April Kepner

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hoorayeroticaplus · 2 years ago

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My fave sex goddesses...

Just for fun, a list of my favourite girls of all time. Some are still my crushes. Some are just plain gorgeous. Others are there for sentimental reasons. No particular order.

Ariel Rebel Anjelica (aka Anjelica Ebbi, Krystal Boyd) Zoe Voss Tori Black Little Caprice Eufrat Tiffany Thompson Stoya Zsuzsa Tanczos Gina Gerson Monica Sweetheart Lexi Bloom Faye Reagan Anissa Kate Veronika Simon Silvia Saint Dillion Harper Sasha Grey Ashlyn Rae Malena Morgan Daneen Boone Emily Grey Red Fox Ander Page Alexis Crystal Sweet Amylee Foxy Di Remy Lacroix Sam Slayre Mila Azul Maya Nunes Eva Elfie Michelle Wild Jenna Haze Martha Gromova Evelyn Claire Krista Allen Regina Russell April Flowers Cadey Mercury Karla Kush Demi Hawks Liya Silver Brooke Banner Jenna J Ross Marcelin Abadir Emily Willis Jia Lissa Caroline Key Johnson Veronika Radke Melanie Jane (aka Melanie Rios) Kuroha Suicide Jillian Janson Tiffany Tyler Nicole Ray Heather Vandeven Miriama Kunkelova To be continued...

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charlicpace · 11 months ago

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NAME INSPO: doctor who edition ! it's official, i'm back in my insufferable era, and i can only apologise in advance. let's be real, we should just skip the entire list and create a set of twins called gallie and freya, you in ?

adelaide

adam

alistair

amelia

amy

andy

angel

april

astrid

beau

bliss

bob

brannigan

brook

cal

canton

cantrell

cathica

cerys

christina

cooper

clyde

crete

cassandra

clara

dane/s

danny

donna

eddison

elton

esther

evangelista

everett

francine

grace

graham

grey

gwen/yth

harriet

harper

heather

ianto

ida

idris

jabe

jack

jackson

jacqueline

jake

jast

jenny

jessica

jethro

john

kelsey

lake

lance

lazlo

leo

leticia

liberty

lillith

luke

lynda

margaret

maria

martha

matteus

max

melody

mickey

moss

nancy

noble

osgood

oswald

oswin

owen

preston

ram

rani

renette

rex

rhys

ricky

river

robina

rory

rose

rosita

ruby

ryan

sally

sanjay

santini

sarah-jane

saxon

shaun

shereen

skaro

soloman

sparrow

steffi

suki

sunday

suzette

sylvia

tallulah

tanya

thay

toshiko

wilfred

wolfie

yana

yasmin

yvonne

zachary

#ADDIE POSE #ABI ZORBALOFF #CAT(HERINE) NUN #name help #masterlist #rpc #rph #rpt #rp masterlist #rpcw #my help

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anewkindofme · 6 months ago

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I'm an absolute sucker for worldbuilding and when I was re-reading A Little Monkey you'd mentioned how the Littles ward had extra beds for the CGs- do you have any other headcanons for your littles-are-known aus? Love your stuff!

Aww thank you so much! I love world-building in my fics because it just makes everything more real!

In general in all of my fics…

There are levels of regressing. Some are on the older end or even if they regress younger, they can live alone, drive, etc. That’d be Tim in my “Grumpy Boy” verse. TK also can live on his own in “The Little Monkey” and did in NYC, but he chooses not to at this point as he’s still recovering from all the trauma that happened there. Others can’t live alone. I haven’t gone into it but Mateo can’t. The Terrible Trio in my Grey’s verses can’t. Their dropping isn’t as obvious to them and it effects them more in their older spaces.

There’s a foster care system for Littles that can’t live alone and need a full time caregiver. Most of the time, Littles can choose who they live with. Caregivers can also have their licenses taken away. Littles can also choose to enter the foster system so they can move to other places, get jobs, etc. This is what April did in my Grey’s verse vs Jackson and Alex who were kicked out.

Littles are a protected class. Most levels can work and go to school. They are to be given time off and not be penalized, within reason. For example, if a Little regresses more often than not, it’s not a reasonable accommodation for a job or school to continue to give them all that time off. But, this can be avoided by them knowing their classification early on so they’re not in that situation.

In all my verses, Littles are classified at 16 as that’s when their bodies begin regressing. Same with caregivers having the biological need to take care of someone. Some Littles show signs at a younger age. Potty training may take longer, they may have certain delays. I’ve said this in TLM, but the Strands knew pretty much TK’s whole life how he’d classify so it wasn’t a shock nor really a transition.

To piggy back off my last point, caregivers have biological urges/needs just as much as Littles. They need to take care of someone. Even if they don’t have a Little of their own, they often go into fields where they’ll be helping people. Thus why you have Owen as a first responder, all the caregivers in my Grey’s verses are doctors, etc.

Not all caregivers are good people and most neutrals are not bad people. Caregivers may have the biological need to care but just like parents who may love their children, they are not showing it in the best ways.

Neutrals can have guardianship of Littles (as we see in “Anonymous Ones” with Harper & Jackson) but they need to prove that the Little is still receiving the care they need.

There are people against caregivers, littles, etc. Even some classified as caregivers and littles protest the system. Conversion camps are unfortunately legal unless they are abusing Littles. However, Littles can refuse to go and it’s not covered under medical protection. Most just don’t feel safe protesting.

There are Little versions of basically all children’s places. Medical offices, daycares, regressor wings in hospitals, bounce places, parks, you get the picture. Aquariums and museums also have “Little hours” for Littles to feel more comfortable.

There are nannies for Littles. I want to go into this in one of my verses but most don’t need one given they either only feel comfortable letting family watch them (I could not picture Owen leaving TK with a nanny) or in my Grey’s AU, there’s a daycare right there.

A lot of Littles sometimes aren’t always “big” or “little”, they may fall in between. Such as acting more like a pre-teen or teenager. I write TK a lot like this because tbh, even in canon, he acts like a grumpy teen a lot. Same with Jackson and Alex in my Grey’s verses.

There are Little products and special stores. From cribs to clothes to pacifiers, even high chairs and baby food and formula that can sustain an older person. I have half a Little!Tyler Lockwood fic where he has a bouncer and swing.

Caregivers are naturally stronger than Littles, which is how they can carry them.

Littles have more difficulty with sensory than caregivers and neutrals.

There are probably more I can’t think of now.

#sfw agere #fic writing #anon asks #asked and answered

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