#apparently the director and actors just like started doing their own thing and improvising and changing a lot about the characters

[gentil-minou]

This is a REALLY unpopular opinion, but I actually really loved the break-up in 2521. It felt so realistic and so undramatic. Yes, it made me bawl like a baby, but I also felt it so deep in my bones. I was going through a very difficult phase with my boyfriend when I watched it, and it made me feel validated. Like, couples are allowed to have problems that may seem minor to outsiders, but it can matter so deep to the people involved that it can even lead to a break up. Such perfect depth.

See I wouldn't have minded the ending if it didn't completely go against the characters and their earlier scenes. I agree real couples and breakups have depth and nuances but we should HAVE SEEN THAT IN THE SHOW NOT JUST PRETENDED IT WAS THERE CAUSE THEY TOLD US IT WAS

Like, you're telling me they survived a longer separation when they were kids and weren't even together but then he goes off as adults and is seeing some of the most traumatic things ever and they butcher nhd's character so hard by going "yeah but he needs to pay more attention to ME" even though the foundations of their relationship involved distance and friendship LIKE COME ON. It destroyed their characters, byj WHOSE ENTIRE GOAL WAS TO GET BACK TO HIS LOVED ONES was like "actually I'm gonna stay in this place where I'm miserable because I have to or some bs" and nhd who was one of the sweetest most understanding caring person is like "actually I don't care about your trauma I care about what I want even though I'm the one who travels for work all the time" LIKE IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE.

If they breakup happened for other reasons, or if we had seen more of their relationship falling part and like ah yes they need to breakup its good for them it might have worked but they didn't. Everytime they had am argument about byj's work they made up and moved on. But instead the main issue was miscommunication which I fucking hate in general but it was worse here because THEY ALWAYS COMMUNICATED WELL. EVEN WHEN ALL THEY HAD WAS FUCKING VOICEMAILS THEY COMMUNICATED WELL you cannot tell me they lost that ability by dating no fucking way make it make sense.

Because it didn't fit with their characters and what we knew of them and their relationship, the conflict didn't work for me and thus the breakup felt forced and unnecessary. The last two episodes felt like I was watching an entirely different drama with different characters because thye did not make any sense at all and just ugh

Also the fact that we clearly see both of them are unhappy in their later lives. NHD is always complaining about a shitty absent husband, and she didn't even seem happy when they were newlyweds (wanting a divorce instead come on) like what a sucky way to see it. And BYJ though we don't see much from him he still feels lonely and is a workaholic. The drama didn't give us any closure for them as characters, ans since we watched them grow up and end it with them still being sad and hung up on the other.

If the show had ended with a hopeful open ending, even if they were broken up, I'd feel better about it. Maybe we got to see NHD's husband and see why she married him and that he's good for her. Maybe we'd get to see BYJ with a family of his own or at least some goddamn friends, something to show he healed from that trauma of his nyc stay, idk.

Obviously my ideal ending would have been for them to get back together after a couple years apart and him to have been the dad all along BUT by the end I was okay with the idea that at the very least they can reconnect as friends when they're older. At its core their story was about friendship, and I would have been satisfied if she just like met up with her friends. But no, we don't know what happened to the friends at the end. I don't know if she and bona's character are still friends, if the other two are still married (and THAT was not a realistic romance okay that was bs comparing the two ships and seeing that was the one that lasted was a slap on the face) or whether the smart one whose name i also forgot got to live up to her full potential and be satisfied with her career (i actually liked her working on a variety show it suited her character but also id like to see something). We didnt get to see any of the character grow into people they wanted to be, just hopelessness. It destroyed the main premise that we got from the first 14 episodes. It would have been an easy fic just like a fucking ending shot with her getting a group text from the friend group or contacting byj to meet up and catch up like seriously anything would have been better than seeing her walk off into the distance like "well I can't change my past but i can sure live in it cause my current life sucks)

Not to mention the poor casting choice where older nhd just ended up becoming the most stereotypical ajumma I've seen down to fashion it felt like I was watching some other show. Kim tae ri could have stayed in that role and worn different makeup at least then it would have felt like the same character instead of feeling like it was another drama entirely jfc.

They didn't advertise this drama as a sad one, or at least there was some definite disconnect between the writer and the directors/actors. Even kim tae ri asked the writer to change the ending cause she thought it didn't fit with the story. They changed a lot and it was advertised as a coming of age romance, not the melodrama is became. It just was so incongruous and I hate how it didn't fit with the characters I grew to love.

I'm glad it was cathartic for you but it left me feeling really shitty and hopeless at the end, and that's the feeling I get still when I think about it. It really had the potential to be my favorite drama of all time (something that hasn't changed in nearly a decade since coffee prince for crying out loud) but I can't even think about rewatching it. It's just something I find so unsatisfying.

Plus I hate the message of the story becoming something like "your teens and early 20s are the best years of your life after that it sucks and you just have to be okay with that" like no gtfo. This is a problem across the board in Korea where married women with kids who are miserable just have to be okay with that and I'm sorry I hate it sooooo much. If they just showed that everyone was happy and that their lives were good and importantly THAT THEY STILL HAD EACH OTHER AND FRIENDS it would have told a different story that yes you grow up and change but life doesn't end and you can still go back and be with people who care about you and God I just there was so much wasted potential that they fucked up so bad

[sixteenthshen]

i totally agree with everything you said in your last post. i am so glad the stars aligned and we got these two. i mean, not even taking into account how absolutely adorable their IRL dynamic is, it's so incredibly apparent by the way they are in the BTS and the way they talk about their characters that they both genuinely cared about this. it wasnt some low-budget nothing to just get through, they both brought so much life to the story and their chemistry is just explosive, on & off screen

Hello. Yessss. I don’t think I’m managing to keep my shipping of their bromance low-key at all. I really like that they seem to have a genuinely good relationship with each other that doesn’t come across as purely for promotional purposes. 

The production isn’t *that* low-budget, haha. One thing that Word of Honor did well (to increase the overall quality of the production) was that they specifically wanted actors who were actors, and not idol-actors; but more than that, the entire team was open to the actors’ interpretation of their characters. 

We should give props to the directors, producers and scriptwriter for this, because there are some dramas where they can be very resistant to actor suggestions on changing the lines. It’s really interesting, because I think they also knew to make use of the actors’ unfamiliarity with each other at the start to film some of the earlier scenes so we can see their relationship/chemistry grow. Of course, they can’t film everything according to the flow of the story (that would make 0 sense) but they did try to arrange quite a lot of scenes chronologically. 

Both GJ and ZZH have diifferent approaches to acting as well. Gong Jun’s more “by the book”, he’s really hardworking and makes sure to memorise his lines in advance. He would even remember lines for future unplanned scenes (where he has a lot of lines in case), because the actors would only know what scenes they would film 1-3 days in advance. To him, if he’s struggling with the lines, then he wouldn’t be able to convey emotion properly. 

ZZH doesn’t bother with his lines the day before. He only looks through the scene to get himself in the right state of mind for the character. Then while getting ready (hair/makeup/rehearsal) during the day, he gets his lines memorised. So, he always has a clear idea of what he feels his character should be doing even while silent. I get the feeling that the exact lines itself don’t even really matter to him because it’s about the state of mind. He’s also a bit of a method actor, his entire demeanor changes with his roles. 

When they first started filming, GJ was slightly unused to ZZH’s proposed changes and impromptu improvisation since his approach is more reliant on memory. And honestly, not every director is open to changes, so he may not have been used to it. It’s quite interesting to see him slowly “open up” and get familiar with it. 

ZZH is always sure on how his character would move/react to a situation. To be honest, the director and ZZH both give GJ a fair bit of guidance on what he should be doing (movements) while he’s delivering his lines. This isn’t dismissing GJ’s ability though, it’s what director and senior actors/actresses are supposed to do (to guide the less experienced ones). It’s how everyone learns and improves.

Then in the later scenes, GJ starts to bring in his own interpretation as well. One of the BTS scenes that stuck with me, regarding GJ bringing his own interpretation to the role, was when the director asked him, “Why are you saying sorry to him?” 

ZZH replies, “because he (WKX) think he’s not worthy of me (ZZS)”.

And the director says okay and accepts GJ’s take on the scene/runthrough. I thought it showed that both actors understanding of their roles and that they do discuss their characters and the relationship, to bring us the Wenzhou we watch and adore. 

Like ZZH said in one interview that Zhou Zishu is him, and he is Zhou Zishu. Despite differences (in personalities), a part of him is in every character he’s played. I wasn’t remotely interested in either actor at the start, in fact I got ZZH’s name wrong a few times LOL. But to be frank, I may not have shipped Wenzhou at all if either character was played by someone else. 

[uwua3]

if it's ok 😳👉👈 i really love your writing and i've had this idea in my head for awhile but i can't get myself to write it on my own 🤔 i wanted to see how your spin would be on it- so can i request a prompt where reader gets jealous of tenma's co-actress in a romance and tries to mimic what she does to him in a show they're in?? ty!!! 💕💕💕 i look forward to your interpretation

thank you so much for requesting~ ♡ i love you sososo much; i hope this lives up to everything you’ve dreamed of! ♡ ～('▽^人) i LOVE YOU!!! <333

summary: when tenma lands a role in your favorite drama, he had one goal: to become your favorite actor

warnings: envy/jealousy, food mentions, rivalry (all covered briefly!)

author’s note: after learning everything there is to know about the k-drama, true beauty, on tik tok, i’ve decided to write this! for context, the only thing i recommend watching before reading this is watching the “roar” scene!

this is also the first time i’ve introduced made-up characters with names! please enjoy jun, the first character who isn’t canon to the a3!verse :D

word count: 3,768

music: like a movie – b1a4

pretty u!

🌻☀️ sumeragi tenma

what the heck was love, and why did he have to be in it?

sumeragi tenma, future “world’s best actor”, was suddenly... seeing why he hadn’t won that award yet. with a script in his hand and confusion in another, tenma read the title of the next drama he landed the role for

“PRETTY U...” it was japan’s next major love story, advertised on every social media platform possible with the all-star cast in the spotlight already. although it had already been out for a season, tenma was entering as the up-and-coming newest character of the series

tenma was boyish, young, and much too confident for his age—perfect for the role of a second-lead bad boy who was going to steal the heart and test the protagonist’s commitment

except... he didn’t actually want to take up a new project so soon. he only did because—

“what?! you’re going to be chan on PRETTY U?!” he proudly nodded and watched as you began ranting about how much you loved this show. there was only one reason he came to the audition: tenma wanted to star in your favorite television series

you always went on and on about how great everything about PRETTY U was. after hearing so much and pretending not to listen (even if he could practically explain the entire plotline now without watching it), tenma let himself become a fan, too

after all, how could he not be a fan when you loved PRETTY U so much?

tenma didn’t respond to his manager’s pleas until one day, you revealed another reason why PRETTY U was your favorite production: the main lead

“he’s so handsome~ i love him so much!” “do you know him? could you get me his number?” “look at him... he’s the most perfect actor in the business right now—ah, sorry ten!”

tenma scoffed every time, claiming he could most certainly do better than that hotshot. although the boys typically didn’t do the same type of television, he had become tenma’s #1 rival without even knowing it

besides... what did that guy have that tenma didn’t? he was just nice! sure, he held open the door for the lead, bent down to tie her shoes, bended over backwards just to be the perfect boy-next-door. yeah... even he couldn’t pretend anymore

tenma pouted at the thought, skimming over his next pilot episode for rehearsal tomorrow. he was too good to be real, after all, he was meant to end up with the lead girl anyways (spoiler alert!)

but, it didn’t matter how perfect that actor was! because tenma had gotten the role of “chan”, the leather-jacket wearing mystery with an actual heart of gold, and he was going to make the entire audience swoon

(though, tenma just wanted to make your heart skip a beat when he ended up on the big screen)

tenma would never admit how fast he checked his phone when he felt it buzz in his pocket. sure, it was unprofessional during rehearsal but he knew it was you. however, his smile dropped the moment he read what you sent

you: remember to tell him how much i love him!

tenma: hah... no good luck for your new bad boy?

you: you know i’ll always root for you, ten!

tenma: but, i’m better than that actor, right?

tenma watched his message get delivered and was about to keep bothering you until someone called his name like they were friends. speak of the devil...

that actor’s straight, white toothy smile made tenma stand a little straighter (damn it, tenma was shorter), eyes wide as the actor gracefully introduced himself as his co-star for the next month or so (how did his voice sound even better in person?!)

“good morning, tenma! my name is jun, i’m so honored to meet a fellow actor on set! let’s work together well!” were they... really the same age? tenma barely registered the fact he was suddenly shaking jun’s (right, that’s his name) hand. why did he have such a manly grip?

tenma quickly (to his dismay) found out that him & jun had entered the industry around the same time but often had different projects, so they were never featured in the same production before. apparently, that was creating quite a buzz in the media that two childhood stars were competing against one another

a competition that tenma couldn’t lose. he was going to be your favorite actor, not his rival!

jun, like the perfect gentleman everyone described him to be, showed tenma around the PRETTY U set. jun had nothing but good things to say about the crew and vise versa. that only reinforced how tenma was oddly much more quiet than he usually was. luckily, one of the talents of being an actor was improvising, so jun was doing just fine

when they had reached the dressing rooms, jun shot a bright smile at tenma and gestured to the rather large room

“we’ll be sharing a dressing room together, tenma! we’ll be spending a lot of time together!”

tenma suddenly regretted his decision to become chan of PRETTY U. you couldn’t have had a different favorite show?! anything but... this

there were now three main characters for PRETTY U: hoshi, yuri, and chan, creating a love triangle for millions of viewers to watch every week

nakamura jun, leading role, played “hoshi”, the boy-next-door. this is the popular boy at school with the best grades and an even greater reputation amongst everyone. next, uedo ren, one of japan’s rising female actresses of this generation. she is adored as “yuri”, the perfect girl. she is the typical nerd who suddenly transformed into the prettiest girl at school from learning make-up

last (but definitely not least!) is sumeragi tenma, playing “chan”, the bad boy. it was nothing like tenma’s done before, since the character was much less expressive than he was used to. chan is a traditional rebel who is revealed to have a soft side for yuri. but, chan (ironically enough) has a secret history with hoshi, causing tension in this already confusing love triangle

(embarrassingly enough, jun had to explain to tenma the complications and ties between each character. tenma, unfortunately, found it to be extremely helpful)

even with this newfound knowledge of the characters in season 2, tenma couldn’t help but absolutely ruin the first day of rehearsals. even with a decade or so of acting as his experience, one thing kept him from being chan: his lack of chemistry with “yuri”

“cut!” the director called out again for the nth time, sighing as their eyes landed on tenma, who was not enjoying being the center of attention this time, surprisingly

“take 5, kid. once you come back, i expect you to actually go through this scene without messing up your lines.” tenma nodded and exited quickly, feeling flustered from the looks of sympathy directed his way. usually, it was one-and-done. it didn’t take a hundred tries just to do another romantic and cliché scene

tenma exhaled loudly once he felt the fresh air upon his face. without the fear of cameras in his face anymore, tenma ran his hand through his hair with a frustrated kick at the concrete. come on! he was renown child actor sumeragi tenma, why was he so in his head now?

tenma was about to yell into the sky before he heard someone close the door, standing beside him with their usual silence. tenma didn’t even have to look to know it was jun (probably with the most pitiful look ever)

“tenma? are you okay?” jun waited as tenma tried to not say anything he’d regret, shifting his weight on his foot back and forth before relenting, shrugging as if it couldn’t be helped

“i don’t know... i just, i can’t see yuri that way. how am i supposed to flirt with someone i don’t even like?”

jun pondered the thought for a moment, before tilting his head, a boyish smile overtaking his features. tenma unwillingly relaxed; jun finally looked his age

“who do you like then?”

tenma froze, a blush even foundation couldn’t hide blossoming on his cheeks. jun let out a teasing “oooh!” as he nudged tenma with his shoulder, who pushed back with an eye-roll

“i-it’s not like that! don’t be so—ugh!” tenma cut himself off, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding jun’s knowing eyes. damn it, they barely knew each other. why was he getting so comfortable with his enemy?!

“well, whoever you thought of, imagine yuri as them.”

“is that what you do?”

jun shrugged, not giving a clear answer for once. before tenma could ask for more information, their break was over

when tenma returned to the scene, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. when he opened them again, he watched as yuri transformed into the one person he’s been trying to impress this entire time: you

when “you” smiled, tenma couldn’t help but follow along. his first-take after break made the cut for the final product

“you must really like them, tenma~” — “stop!!!”

filiming afterwards became easy, especially when he imagined all his romantic words were directed towards you. he could feel the clamminess of his hands, the rapid beat of his heart, the intense blush across his face, all at the thought of you

(the only time he had to start over was when he accidentally said your name instead of yuri’s)

tenma was sure he’d become your favorite actor now! after all, you were his favorite person

“will you watch the first episode of PRETTY U’s season 2 with me?”

you had never said yes so fast in your entire life. when tenma learned there’d be a cast-viewing of episode 1 after finishing the season, he knew his +1 invite could only go to the biggest fan of the show

throughout filming, you were always the person who got him in trouble when the text tone wasn’t put on silent. you liked spamming tenma with a bunch of supportive and encouraging messages when you were available, meaning tenma always had something to look forward to after each scene

in return, tenma would send a selfie of him with his castmates or the set (or, what he was allowed to show under his contract). yet, despite your constant pleas, there was one co-star he’d never take a photograph with: jun

(“tenma! we’ve worked together for months~ shouldn’t i be called your friend now?” “no—” “huh?! don’t pretend you don’t like me!” “who said i was pretending?” “tenma!”)

at first, tenma was apprehensive about inviting you to an event where jun’s picture-perfect face would be on display everywhere. but, whenever he saw you, the weight of the tickets suddenly felt much heavier in his pocket. he couldn’t deprieve you of such an exclusive event just because of his jealousy (even if he was this close to doing so)

when tenma impulsively asked three days before, it felt worth it when you threw your arms around him (he hugged you back and pretended this meant something to you)

“i love you, ten!”

tenma felt like he was on set again, with yuri’s arms tightly holding onto his heart

“i love you, too.”

even after saying it so many times, tenma meant it even if he didn’t say it to your face every time

you looked like the star of the show

tenma fixed his tie as his blazer suddenly felt too tight. you appeared in your most formal attire, looking like a million bucks as you two sat across each other in the limo

“ten, look at all of this!” you pointed out every little thing of preparing for a professional event. the little glasses of champagne neither of you two could drink sat to the side as the leather seats molded to fit your posture. as the night lights of tokyo blurred by, tenma couldn’t help but think you sparkled more than this diamond of a city

“i can’t wait to go see the first episode! thank you for inviting me.” you bowed your head, as if suddenly overcome with gratefulness. tenma lightly kicked your shoe with his, fondly rolling his eyes as he tried not to smile (mission failed)

“don’t worry about it, who else would i bring? you’re my favorite pe—friend. friend, yeah...” tenma trailed off, suddenly finding something very interesting outside of the window. you only nodded, seemingly more interested in the fact there was enough room to walk around

when tenma caught sight of the infamous red carpet laid out in front of the theatre, he cleared his throat and put on his best face for the cameras. after stepping out of the car with his bodyguards nearby, tenma turned and gave you a genuine smile. not his typical arrogant smirk the news source ate up, but a type of smile only reserved for you

when he held out his hand, the flashing lights behind him seemed like a real celebrity, something you had never considered him to be before. it was like seeing tenma in a new light (both literally and figuratively)

“shall we?” you took his hand and wondered if you could ever have your own j-drama. perhaps, tenma could even be the main lead...

before you could step off to the side, tenma already had his arm wrapped around your waist with his unchanging expression (however, underneath it all, he was internally freaking out. what was he going to do now?!)

“you’re my date, right? walk the red carpet with me.” tenma winked (you swore it sparkled) as he gestured towards the carpet ahead. suddenly, the line seemed much longer

“t-ten... you’ve never brought a date before...” you mumbled, acutely aware of how soon it was to walk down together. tenma’s arm stiffened, but nothing else exposed the revelation as he looked down at you

“you’re my first, then.” and my last, tenma thought to himself. before you could change your mind, it was showtime. tenma put on his movie star face and introduced you to familiar interviewers, smiling away as if you two weren’t panicking on the inside

while you were focusing on the fact you were going to be going viral as tenma’s first “date” to the event, tenma was trying not to blush from how close you were. you felt... right besides him

tenma was a natural in front of an audience waiting for him to make a mistake. he flawlessly answered every question with swaggering confidence, his stride easy and poses photogenic

you did your best to follow his lead but it all ended when tenma took you into the theatre, staring down at you with a bright smile

“we did it! see, told you we’d be just fine.” tenma let out an exhale of relief, glowing with joy from the adrenaline of everything that came with being a superstar. as you looked up into his excited eyes, you saw him lean down before—

“your arm is still around me.”

silence, then a hurried separation as tenma put too many feet between you two. it was suddenly as if you two were strangers. you regretted the words the moment they left your mouth; you didn’t mind at all... why did you say something?!

“um... so, food?” tenma spoke up after an eternity of making excuses. you two quickly moved to the line of movie snacks, using candy and popcorn to substitue the suddenly awkward silence

when tenma ordered all your favorites without even asking, he turned around with the selection only to close his eyes and internalize every single thing he was feeling because there he was, his worst enemy

jun entered from a side door, most likely finishing up helping the crew with set-up (and 30 minutes early as usual) before catching tenma’s iconic bright orange hair, a grin lighting up his face

“tenma! it’s me, jun!” he said, as if they weren’t the two main leads of japan’s most famous drama so far. immediately, your smile matched jun’s as you watched as your favorite actor of all time make his way towards you two

“jun... of course you’d be here.” tenma said through gritted teeth, forcing a pleasant smile even with an armful of junk

“ah, still keeping the bad boy attitude? we’re off set now, you can stop method acting now.” jun joked, bringing his attention to you with a dazzling smile that would absolutely make any fansite’s career

“oh? who is this, a friend of yours?” tenma tried not to sigh so loud when you couldn’t help yourself and burst into a long rant about how amazing jun was. tenma waited until you reached your midpoint and stopped you with a quick nudge, trying not to scream (could jun stop being so... perfect? could you stop being so cute?!)

when tenma introduced you, he stood a little closer as he tried to maintain his jealousy. “they’re my date, by the way.” no one had asked, but tenma was clearly telling anyone who was around you two had gone together

jun’s eyes lit up in recognition as he let out a noise of surprise. “ah~ so this is who you—”

tenma didn’t regret losing his giant popcorn so fast to a co-star who could only be silenced with food. his wallet could afford another one, anyways. his pride on the other hand? could not let you know his acting secret already

“what was jun going to say?” you asked after you two departed for the viewing room. tenma nonchalantly pretended like everything was okay as he guided you to front row

“probably something about the fact you’re the one who always interrupts our scenes.”

“hey! my texts make your day, don’t lie!”

“go sit down and eat already, jeez.”

when it began, your eyes couldn’t leave the screen. it was better than you could have imagined. everything was perfect, it exceeded the standards of even the toughest fans out there. you loved every second of it... except...

tenma was too good at being chan. even with his bright hair, the dark clothes he wore made him appear intimidating, with his sharp eyes and even sharper smirk. chan’s appearance was tough, rough, and mean, everything tenma wasn’t

yet, you still couldn’t help but feel your heart sink when chan was clearly in love with yuri. yuri was one of your favorite characters by far, but she ended up bothering you for the entireity of the episode

especially every time she shared a scene (which were many times) with chan. chan was revealed to be a bad boy with a heart of gold, all with a special soft side for yuri

what was this feeling? were you... no, you couldn’t be! after all, you had never seen tenma that way before, right? yet, every time chan made an exception for yuri, you felt sick to your stomach

was it possible that tenma liked the actress who played yuri? you snuck a glance at tenma, only to see he was looking at you already (he’d never admit it, but he was watching your reactions to see if he made you proud. yet, every time you saw him, you subconsciously frowned)

were you not proud of him? did you not like his performance as chan?

before tenma could ask you, the scene changed into one of chan’s. he was standing outside in the school uniform, his head ducked as he swiped through yuri’s social media. before he could look up, yuri jumped in front of him with a teasing smile

“roar!” she called out, referring to their inside joke earlier in the episode. yuri cutely bounced back with another roar, holding her hands up like paws. chan watched, his typical rock-hard expression breaking to reveal his developing feelings for yuri

later on, chan stopped yuri in the hallway, other students watching as the school’s bad boy and goddess interact

“do that again.” chan demanded to which yuri innocently tilted her head, confused like a little puppy. “do what?” “that... that thing.” when chan roared, tenma sunk into his seat with an embarrassed defense and explanation ready. but, when he looked, you finally cracked a laugh at his little roar

your smile only fell when yuri roared again as a joke, but chan smiled for once. tenma wondered why... he thought you would be so happy to be here with him. maybe, he’d never be better than jun...

when the episode ended, it took a moment before you stood up and clapped. tenma followed along, but all he could think about was how he let you down. not only as chan, but as your boy, too

when you two left the room, you two hung back to watch as everyone congratulated one another on the success of the production. in the midst of the cheer and celebration, tenma felt small as he watched your blank expression

what did he do wrong? he put his best efforts into every scene; he might even say it was his best work yet. before he could apologize, you did the unthinkable: you roared

you jumped up into his face, holding your hands up like yuri did. when yuri did it, tenma didn’t feel a thing. but, when you did, tenma felt it. the butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he stared at you, frozen in place

“this is the part where you ask me to do it again.” you shyly trailed off, about to put your hands down before tenma weakly put his hands up, knowing he was about to regret his next move (if the embarrassment didn’t kill him, he didn’t know what would)

“roar!”

that was too loud, wasn’t it? the room suddenly went a lot more quiet as they turned their attention towards a teen actor roaring at his date

“yah! why didn’t you ask me the next line?”

“b-because... i know i like you even without you doing, that, again.”

you paused, taken back by his honesty. as tenma contemplated just falling onto the floor right then and there, you suddenly hardened your expression, standing up straighter with your arms crossed

“do that again.”

“do what?”

“that thing.”

when tenma roared again, much quieter this time, you nodded as you finally smiled genuinely for the first time ever since that episode started

“good, i know how chan feels now. i like you, too.”

“does that mean i’m your favorite actor now?”

(when jun released a video of tenma roaring online, he captioned it with “ROAR = ILY!!!” tenma realized maybe he wasn’t all that bad, but still)

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

The Part-Time Puppeteer - Chapter 08

<= Chapter 7

Summary : Lukas gets a chance against one of the biggest actors ever known.

Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/23828971/chapters/81316792

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The duel you had all been awaiting for... THERE IT IS. I hope you'll like it !

Thank you, Tumblr, for making this chapter so fucking hard to post, I appreciate it, really. /s

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Chapter 8 - “So you came back... As I had planned.”

The role of the Moonjumper was both an interesting and a boring one- at least, this is what Lukas had thought to himself while he had been learning his lines. It wasn’t that this character was a bad one, no, far from it. But he was… Predictable, unoriginal in some ways even. The young man hadn’t noticed it really, while simply reading the text in his mind. But once he had said the lines out loud… This is when it started to get apparent. Of course, he had told himself he was merely a law student, so what could he know about fiction and how to interpret it? He was no specialist in that field. And yet, this is the impression the role gave to him. Not a bad one, but not a perfect one.

In short, there was room for improvement. However, this hadn’t been on his mind, or not for too long. After all, he had other preoccupations other than thinking about that. The first one had been to learn these lines, and the second and most important one… Was to teach that bastard of an actor that sometimes life could get back at you for your attitude.

And apparently, now was the moment for it.

With a wave of confidence caused by his anger towards the diva, Lukas opened his mouth and put a start to what seemed to be a duel between the two of them.

-“So you came back,” he murmured with a little smile, moving the puppet upwards, as if it were looming over Hat Kid or, in this case, MJ: “As I had planned.”

-“You took something from me,” retorted MJ, with a determined intonation that was completely different from his arrogant, usual self. This man was no doubt a very skilled actor. Even if he looked nothing like a little girl… He still managed to give the same vibes, by his movements, his expression and his voice. It was truly impressing, though the student couldn’t care much at the moment.

He needed to focus, to get himself in character… In this very instant, the young man was a mysterious and powerful entity who had been imprisoned in his own dimension for centuries. He was a monster that would lure his victims in, never for them to be seen again. What did he do with them? The script wasn’t clear about that, though there were traces that hinted he would turn them into puppets.

Quite a scary thing for a kids’ show.

The student was struggling to move the puppet with precision, due to how it was made. It was the same kind of puppet who had strings linking it to a wooden cross. It was practical in a way where he didn’t have to touch the puppet directly to move it… But on the other hand, it meant that he couldn’t do precise or specific gestures with it. This meant he would need to put extra effort on his acting, so that it would compensate the lack of gesture he could do.

Well, he hoped this wouldn’t be too noticeable… Trying his best to make the puppet raise its hand, he continued playing:

-“Oh, you mean this, perhaps?” Having no props on the scene with him made it less immersive, but thankfully, the rest of the dialogue was enough for everyone to understand what the Moonjumper was talking about: “This hourglass of yours… A powerful artifact, yes?”

Lukas’ tone was calm, reserved, but it wouldn’t last- later in the scene, the Moonjumper would become more agitated. Actually, the directives on it didn’t say he was going to get mad, per se. Still, when he read those lines, he was… Disappointed in the entity’s attitude. For a bad guy, the latter was way too mild, too nice, and… Not threatening enough.

Not frightening enough.

-“That is none of your business,” the diva replied, his tone more aggressive. His stance had tensed, giving away how important this object was for the main character, and how crucial it was to get it back.

-“Oh, is that so?” Lukas made the puppet tilt its head to the side, approaching MJ dangerously. His tone had turned icy, bitter, as if what the main character had said weren’t such a good idea: “I believe it is quite my business, on the contrary, young child,” his murmur had lowered in volume as he made another step forward.

-“It’s mine!” MJ’s voice had talked back, his expression showing a mix of anger, despair, and persistence.

-“Is it? Is it, really?” he snarled in response, starting to raise his tone a little- this was the time to put his improvisation on the table. At this point, it was make or break: “Maybe you’re lying. Perhaps you stole it. Who is there to say? Do you even know how much I need it?”

The diva in front of him seemed taken aback by him not respecting the stage direction completely. It didn’t last long, and soon enough, the hint of a smirk could be seen on the other’s face, even if just for a second. It quickly disappeared, as the actor didn’t want to break character. But Lukas saw it, and it simply enraged him.

At least, his fury in the next moments was not going to be faked.

-“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” the ‘little girl’ screamed at him, getting closer to confront him: “This isn’t a toy, this isn’t… Some weird stuff that you can use for yourself! It’s… It belongs to me, to… To my people!”

Okay, this was it, this was the most embarrassing moment of this whole scene. God, he wanted to cringe so hard just thinking about what he was going to do, but… This exact thing was the reason he got the role to begin with. So, realistically, it meant… That it was maybe his secret weapon.

Shit, that sounded so fucking stupid.

The student let out a snort, one that started to get louder and louder as seconds passed. This wasn’t supposed to be anything more than a cruel giggle, but… This scene was the finale, was something people had to remember after seeing that episode. It had to be… Intense! Full of passion, as Grooves would say, he supposed. And so… His mind conjured a picture he would never, ever forget.

MJ falling down the day before. MJ getting angry, humiliated before the entire crew, losing his job against a nobody, a simple stagehand who had been hired the same day. And, just like that… Lukas burst out laughing, his hysterical giggles echoing all around, sending shivers to the spectators as it continued. For years, the young man had been shamed for his way of laughing. His entire childhood had been spent hiding that part of him from the others, so he wouldn’t be judged and mocked for something he couldn’t even control. And here, for the first time of his entire life…

Lukas was laughing without being (too) scared of the way people would react in consequence. This was… Absolutely freeing, to feel like he could be himself, just a few instants…!

-“You think I see this as a toy? Don’t be silly, young child… This,” he spoke again, his voice dark, lifting the doll’s hand again: “… Is my salvation, the key to my esca-”

-“Okay, cut, that’s enough,” Lukas was interrupted by a familiar voice, the investor’s. His face paled up- wait, they hadn’t finished the scene, why would that man stop them? Did… Did he do wrong? He gulped down, starting to regret taking initiatives. What was he thinking? If he had a script, it was to respect it! Why did he choose the riskiest solution?! Couldn’t he just stick to the plan?!

He turned to the investor, a look of fear and confusion written all over his face. At his sides, MJ’s acting mask fell, only to be replaced by a smug expression, as he approached the student. Leaning towards him, so that only he could hear, the actor whispered:

-“You didn’t even respect your text,” the diva mocked him: “What, you thought it was a good idea to improvise? Or were you just too stupid to read the stage directions?”

Lukas glared at him, gritting his teeth- but his arch nemesis was right. He had taken initiatives and, in hindsight, this really hadn’t been the opportunity for it. This was an exam, a duel, in which they both had to prove who was a better actor. When would a good actor question a director’s orders?

The young man’s cheeks blushed both in anger and embarrassment. His eyes fell on the Conductor and DJ Grooves- both looked disappointed and perhaps a little angry. They were most likely thinking that he had just wasted a golden opportunity- he didn’t think he had acted badly, he was pretty sure his laughter had been a great addition, but his wasn’t about that.

It was about respecting the directors’ wishes, which he hadn’t done.

In an instant, Lukas’ attitude went from confidence to utter embarrassment. Oh, how he wished he could just hide underground, never to be seen again. Next to him, in comparison, MJ was simply beaming. In the distance, Mike’s expression was a mix of sadness and frustration. As for the rest of the crew… Lukas just couldn’t look at them.

It was too much. His anxiety was eating him from the inside, feeding on his self doubts, on his fears, and on how much he wanted to get out of here. Please, couldn’t he hear that he was downgraded to being a stagehand again?

The wait was unbearable.

The investor had remained silent for a few seconds, staring into space. Eventually, his eyes went back up to the two actors, and he sighed, visibly conflicted. But conflicted about what? There wasn’t anything to be conflicted about! The young man clenched his fists, trying to focus on the pain of his nails scratching his palms instead. The longer it lasted, the more he could feel his emotions getting out of control. If it continued, then… Well, he could already feel some tears making their way up to his eyes.

Oh, no, no, please, no, not in public- not next to MJ, out of every-fucking-one!

His mind went silent as he saw the investor looking at him, his face serious. This was it.

-“You don’t fit the role,” he said sternly, and Lukas felt his heart sink in his chest- he knew it, he fucking knew it, he shouldn’t have tried to take risks! This wasn’t his forte, he should have stuck to rules like he always had!

-“Well, isn’t that a surprise,” a sarcastic scoff left the actor’s lips at his sides, only making the student feel even worse than he already was: “Who could have ever thought hiring a stagehand to do some professional work was a bad idea- oh, yeah. I did,” the asshole’s voice became serious, sending huge and bitter “I told you so” vibes.

God, Lukas just wanted to punch his face so bad…! And the humiliation he was feeling wasn’t helping him either- fuck, fuck, he could feel the urge to cry getting harder and harder to suppress.

The investor raised his hand, his expression still as serious as before:

-“I’m not finished,” he interrupted the other’s celebration before crossing his hands, lost in thoughts: “This… Is not something I had expected, I have to admit that much.”

-“Wha-” MJ seemed confused and tilted his head to the side, frowning: “What do you mean?” he pressed the older man, visibly not liking where this was going. Lukas was just as confused as him, not really understanding where the other was getting at. And, to be fair, so was everyone else in the room, especially the two directors, who exchanged a perplexed look.

What the hell was going on?

It took approximately thirty, long seconds for the investor to find his words, and he crossed his arms, looking back at the student.

-“You don’t fit the role, because this character doesn’t fit you.”

There was a short silence in the room, before MJ broke it, an insincere smile taking place onto his lips:

-“I’m sorry,” he snorted sarcastically: “This role doesn’t fit him because he doesn’t know how to act,” the jerk enunciated, as if it were obvious- and it was. Still, the other shook his head and tapped the script resting on his legs with the back of his fingers.

-“No, he does. But his acting doesn’t fit a character like this,” he explained better, and he opened the script to continue: “See, I only got to read the script before, today is the first time I’m seeing it actually being rehearsed. And it made me notice that… This character isn’t good. In fact, he’s bad.”

This last statement cast a chill in the room, making people frown in confusion and incomprehension. However, for the two directors, it was more than that. It was more pronounced, more… Visible.

-“Wh- What d’you mean?” the Conductor exclaimed, holding his own copy of the script and flipping the pages frantically. DJ Grooves was more reserved, but he was clearly furrowing his brow, shaking his head:

-“But… But we sent you the script a few times, and you validated this version,” he retorted: “I don’t understand why suddenly this character is bad to you.”

The investor pointed at the two young men on the scene, his head turning back to look at the directors:

-“It’s one thing to read the script, and it’s another to experience it. The Moonjumper is bland, he doesn’t have any personality, he looks like any other bad guy, he feels… Unoriginal. I’m honestly feeling like I was watching something made by teenagers.”

It was clear that this last sentence deeply offended the two men, and Grooves had to grab the Conductor’s arm, so that the latter could keep his mouth shut. But, oh, it was obvious they wanted to talk back. Still, it was best to be polite with the person funding your entire project.

-“Which is why you need a good actor,” MJ tried to interject, placing his hand over his heart as he tried to persuade the benefactor to choose him instead. But he was soon cut short by the man’s voice again, disagreeing with him:

-“No, MJ, you don’t understand. This character is badly written, and this puppet,” he nodded to the object still in Lukas’ hands: “… Is too scary for kids. On one hand, you have this character without any personality, and on the other, you have this puppet which design has to change.”

At the mention of the puppet, a familiar person moved across the crowd to join the conversation. Without much surprise, it was Mike, whose expression showed concern and confusion:

-“W-wait,” he called out to the investor, not knowing what to do with his own hands: “I don’t… I was asked to make a scary puppet, I-”

-“And you did way too much. Furthermore… Our friend here had some trouble moving the puppet around,” he pointed to the student, whose face paled up as everyone’s eyes glanced at him. Oh, shit, no, he didn’t want to be implicated in this…!

-“This puppet wasn’t made with the idea of interacting with props. It can’t hold things and even if it could, it seems complicated to make it express emotions or body language. In short, I want the puppet to be redesigned entirely.”

Mike’s face paled at the investor’s decision, and Lukas couldn’t blame him. It was months of work thrown away like it was nothing. He was about to say something against it, but MJ beat him to it, defending his brother for the student’s greatest surprise:

-“And you had to wait until it was finished to say something about it?” the actor’s tone was getting more aggressive as he gestured at his brother: “He spent nights working on that! And you decide to just… Scrap it away?!”

Lukas… Really hadn’t expected the other to care, especially with how the latter had thrown the puppet to the floor the day before. Then again, they were twins, and Mike did seem to care about his brother… So maybe the feeling was mutual, just… Unbalanced, perhaps?

-“I know, and I take full responsibility for that,” retorted the man with determination: “The other reason I want a redesign is that I want this character to change. I want another one instead, one that is original, and not… The typical cliché of a bad guy.”

Before MJ was able to talk back, the Conductor interjected, his expression really showing he wasn’t liking anything that was being said at the moment.

-“Are you serious?!” he finally snapped, his Scottish accent more audible than ever: “Do you expect us to rewrite the entire thing?! After all the time it took us?!”

Grooves tried to calm the Conductor down, but it was in vain. All he could do was to push him lightly to the side, before the other reacted violently by shoving him back, not wanting to be touched, especially by him. Still, that got the message across, and DJ Grooves got the opportunity to talk:

-“It’s… Not possible to rewrite anything, the deadlines are too short for our budget and-”

-“In that case, if this is the way to avoid a catastrophic show, then I’ll fund this project for a little longer. But I do not want to see my money being wasted on some poorly written story,” he sighed, obviously aware of how much his words had irritated the entire crew, who was now glaring daggers at him: “I know I am responsible for saying that too late, which is why I will give you more time and money to adjust tactics. But this,” he gestured to the puppet and the script: “… Has to change. I’m not asking for a complete rework of the script, but I want us to talk about the modifications we need to implement.”

After the announcement regarding the deadlines being postponed, the crew did lose some animosity, though it was still very much there, especially for the two directors who had to rewrite a good chunk of what they thought was a final version. Mike, in comparison, looked much more disappointed and sad than anything else, which made Lukas feel bad for him. He wanted to comfort his friend, trying to encourage him- but before he even could, MJ’s voice rose again in the room, catching everyone’s attention once more:

-“And what about the original problem, hm?” he urged the benefactor: “If there’s no Moonjumper anymore, then… What about the new character?” He then gestured at Lukas as if he were showing something disgusting- and yeah, that was pretty insulting: “You’re not… Going to choose an inexperienced stagehand for a major role, are you? You need someone who knows how to act, not… Not someone who can’t even respect the stage directions!”

The student gritted his teeth again- but he couldn’t deny the last point, as it was true. Then again, that didn’t mean he couldn’t defend himself:

-“At least, I respect other people,” he mumbled, loud enough for the diva to hear. Unsurprisingly, the latter turned to him, his eyes wide and his expression furious:

-“Excuse me?!” he retorted, outraged: “I know what acting is, and it’s following the script!”

-“Oh sure, that’s clearlymore important than being a decent human being!” the young man rolled his eyes, crossing his arms. This seemed to be what made the actor snap. The latter rushed towards him, his fist raised, prepared to hit- but thankfully, Mike knew his brother enough to anticipate it, and he dashed to grab his twin by the waist, stopping him.

-“MJ, cut it out!” yelled the puppet maker, and Lukas couldn’t help but be taken aback, not used to seeing Mike so… Angry. And yet, it was barely enough to keep MJ from trying to punch the student- he was trying to break out of his brother’s hold. Lukas couldn’t help but step back, in case the actor did manage to shove his twin aside. But it didn’t happen. Instead, the diva slowly lowered his fist, glaring at his rival with pure hatred in his eyes.

-“Will you pleasefucking stop?!” the benefactor’s loud voice called out to the group. When they all turned their head back to him, his face showed nothing but anger and annoyance. That sent shivers down Lukas’ spine, and he tensed, facing the man again like a well-behaved child. Next to him, MJ glared at the man before rolling his eyes, soon imitating his arch nemesis. Mike, upon seeing his brother had calmed down, let go of him and made a few steps back as well.

Okay, seemed like this day was getting as agitated as the previous one… Was this going to be the case for every single day? He… Didn’t know if he could handle that.

The investor let out a long, exaggerated sigh before pinching his nose, irritation written all over his face.

-“I’m… Ugh… Okay, fine. For this new character, and my decision will be final… I want the newbie on it.”

Lukas’ heart stopped beating, his eyes widening in astonishment. Wait, wait, wh-

-“What?!” the diva’s voice soon echoed around them, his tone enraged and scandalized: “You can’t be serious, he’s just-”

-“I said that my decision was final,” the benefactor reaffirmed his choice, giving the actor a very stern look of disapproval: “And if you’re unhappy with that, then you are more than welcome to leave. If you finally decide to act like an adult, then I will give you another role. But let me tell you, MJ, you’re on thin fucking ice, right now.”

The diva shot him yet another glare, his fists clenched and trembling from how livid he was. Both of them seemed to try and assert their dominance over the other… But eventually, MJ looked away and stormed off, kicking a chair as he moved through the room. It took him only a few seconds to reach the door and slam it behind him, leaving the set after another tantrum. Mike, just like the day before, quickly followed him, most likely to comfort him or at least calm him down.

In the meantime, Lukas was just… Existing, barely realizing what had been said to him. This… This was a dream, right? He was still in the workshop, taking an impromptu nap, this couldn’t be possible in real life…! And yet, it was all very real. In the back, the Conductor and Grooves seemed to have conflicted emotions: on one hand, they were very upset by the idea of rewriting a good part of their story, but on the other hand… They wouldn’t have to worry about that asshole’s attitude anymore. Still, they seemed just confused as him as to why he had been chosen. Yeah, seemed like improvising wouldn’t have been a good idea, but… Maybe in this particular case, it helped to highlight the Moonjumper’s lack of personality.

In a way… Probably not something to do in the future from now on.

Suddenly, the student was brought back to reality as he felt a hand over his shoulder, and he jumped, not expecting the sudden contact. He looked in front of him, his eyes focusing on the person he was facing: the benefactor. The latter still wasn’t smiling, and his expression was still irritated, but it didn’t seem directed at him at least:

-“Well, congrats, I guess. You did good.”

Lukas remained silent for a moment, not knowing how to answer or what to say. Eventually, he stammered a quick “thank you”, his mind still having trouble to process what had just happened.

He had the role- holy shit, he had managed to get the role, and against MJ at that!

The man pulled away and turned to the directors, telling them things Lukas could barely hear over the cacophony his minds was making. Still, inside him… A feeling of pride and accomplishment was growing, enveloping him. A wave of excitement followed, and it was hard not to jump around in pure joy and satisfaction.

Maybe this day wasn’t so bad after all…

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=> Chapter 09

[blackaquokat]

Reasons You Should Listen to All the Episode Commentaries for Leverage

--John Rogers is always drinking some kind of alcoholic beverage while doing so. He introduces himself at the beginning, pops the can/bottle open, and it begins.

--The writers/directors/producers freaking LOVED just about every part of the show. They are always heaping love onto the actors/the crew/the writers/the locations they filmed.

--Aldis Hodge starts joining in during Season 3 and always introduces himself as either, “DJ Chocolate Skittles,” “Cookie,” or, with a very specific vocal inflection that I don’t know how to describe, “SEXUAL CHOCOLATE!!” He also always has very interesting tidbits about approaching moments he’s improvised (which is almost all the best moments on the show) and about how he views Hardison.

--The creators also always talk about the Portland actors they worked with, because that’s where they filmed just about the whole show, and how talented those actors were. Very rarely did they bring up L.A. actors because they kept finding incredible talent in Portland, such as Detective Bonanno, Peggy, the Irish Mob actors in Boy’s Night Out, almost all of the clients and security guards, etc.

--Speaking of, they also keep talking about how they could imagine entirely other shows surrounding various characters they didn’t have enough time to dedicate to, such Sophie and Tara grifting together or the FBI Agent in the Radio Job having his own story. They wanted to bring back SO MANY different actors and characters who only appeared for brief times during the show.

--They talk about lots of lore that they couldn’t fit into the show. They say that the assassins from the Reunion Job and the Morning After Job are married, that the cop lady (they named her Officer Rose, specifically for fanfic references, because they hadn’t given her a name in the script and greatly regretted that because they loved this actor) that Eliot flirted with/distracted in Boy’s Night Out dated Rizzoli in the past (John Rogers was apparently very bitter that the writers hadn’t committed to Rizzolie and Isles being lesbians, he talks about it in the commentary twice), John Rogers even outright says that he believes that Maggie and Sophie were involved with each other in canon at one point.

--They encourage so much fanfiction ideas, both about the main cast and about minor characters. John says, and I quote, about the Girl’s Night Out scene where Sophie and Tara are searching that hotel bedroom together, “If this scene does not inspire some very raunchy fanfiction, we have failed our audience.”

--They respect their actors and characters. So much. They made a rule during the first two seasons to NOT sexualize Parker’s character unless she was on the grift and in control of the situation. They realized that the way Sophie and Nate were in S1, they hadn’t developed enough as characters be together during that season, so they changed it up because it was what the characters needed. They were very adamant about giving Parker and Hardison the lovely, slowburn romance they deserved, especially with how broken Parker was. So often, the writers said that the actors were so in-tune with their characters that all the directors did was point the camera at the actors and let them do their thing, because often the actors ad-libbed something in-character that ended up in the show., like Eliot and Sophie’s conversation about what’s under Nate’s bed in the Beantown Bailout Job. 

--The big reason Aldis Hodge was casted to be Hardison was because he was the only actor who made about eight pages worth of story exposition sound fun and interesting and enjoyable, and most of Hardison’s dialogue involves exposition. Also, his improv game was STRONG.

--One of my favorite lines in the entire commentary involves John Rogers talking about the Girl’s Night Out Job: “DON’T DISEMPOWER YOUR FEMALE LEADS.”

--They talk about HILARIOUS scenes they wanted to include in the show but couldn’t: Parker’s first introduction to chocolate involving her almost eating through the table, Eliot’s flashback scene in the beginning of S5 involving him coming through Stargate, or Eliot appearing covered in green goo in a flashback in the First-Contact Job.

--There’s also a LOT of really good lessons and ideas about camerawork and set design and costume design and how they write the episodes which I imagine will be very helpful for burgeoning filmmakers.

--Another big rule was to treat every season like it would be the last one, because Dean and John HATED when show pulled that awful cliffhanger trick to get people to come back and watch more, both for Season Finales and from episode to episode. To quote John, “GIVE THE FANS THEIR F***ING ENDING!!”

--Competence Porn. The creators’ favorite term to use, because they know all fans have a competence kink, and Leverage is a show FULL of Competence Porn. They know what the fans want and they deliver.

--Basically, if you’re looking to write Leverage fanfiction and want to enjoy hearing from creators who actually respected and loved the show they created along with the actors and crews who helped make it happen, I highly recommend the Leverage commentary, it’s so enjoyable, they are all so animated the entire time they talk about it, it makes you excited just listening.

[roarformeprettylion]

Parts of Iron Man/the MCU that wouldn’t exist if Robert Downey Jr hadn’t been cast

(both gifs by @stcny)

I am Iron Man

This wasn’t even a scene in IM1. RDJ just tried it out one take and Marvel liked it so much that they used it. That ending was iconic and the line was used in many times in subsequent movies, including, of course, Endgame.

(both gifs by @themightyconchords​)

Cheesburgers

RDJ said that one of the things that helped him start to get his life on track was eating a truly awful Burger King cheeseburger. He wanted that put in the movie in some way. In Endgame, we get the callback when Morgan asks for a cheeseburger and we all get punched in the heart.

(gif by @limelight001​)

(gif by @van-dyne​)

I love you 3000

This is one of the most quoted lines from Endgame and it came from the Downey household. Robert and his children say it to each other and he thought it would be a good emotional line to include. He was right, of course.

(both gifs by @whatadaytoexplode​)

No trust - Liar

I don’t know about other fans, but I had been waiting for Tony to confront Steve about hm dismantling the Avengers. The scene finally happened in Endgame and it was so cathartic. And apparently all made up by RDJ. The dialogue and acting in that scene was so raw and emotional.

(gif by @proinslascassidy​ > @jessicajones616​)

I don’t want to go

I’m not giving Robert credit for Tom’s amazing acting. That’s all him. However, the directors and Tom have said that Robert helped him with the scene.

“It wasn’t as drawn out as this,” Anthony Russo added, before going on to discuss how Downey Jr. was keen to mine the sequence for all it was worth and coached Holland on where the character was at this point and how hopeless he felt. The result was a show-stopping performance from the young actor.

“At the end of the day, he kept driving: put more and more emotion into it, and just went up to Tom and said, ‘You don’t want to go because you’re a child. And you’re using your strength as Spider-Man to fight this. And then that was the performance that came out. It was a pretty spectacular performance for a 21-year-old actor.”

Tom has also said in another interview that one of his tricks to make himself cry is to repeat a phrase over and over. I’m sure that scene would have been emotional regardless, but the line is so heartbreaking because it shows how young Peter is and it shows that Downey understood the emotional weight of the scene.

He basically improvised most of his lines in IM1 and has continued to throw in lines in every movie. Some of them may not have had the impact of others but they’re still funny and/or

The entire after credit scene in the Hulk

“That man is playing Galaga”

Shwarma

Tony eating food in the lab in Avengers

“its not a hug, Im just grabbing the door for ya” (w/ Holland)

“You seem a little defensive” 

“The adults are talking”

ect.

(gif by @karazrel​)

Tony’s silence during his death

Lines were written but Robert thought it would be more emotional to have Tony stay silent as he was dying.

(gif by @humanveil)

Trauma in Iron Man 3

Robert didn’t write the script but he did influence a major part of the movie, Tony’s trauma. RDJ specifically asked that they explore Tony’s trauma in IM3.

“I thought rather than pretending that didn’t happen, let’s bring it into the latest installment.”

He has always advocated for the movies to show Tony being affected by the things that happen.

“One of Robert’s big things is he always wants to be damaged by the things that happen to his character and he wants to show the damage done. There should be a grittiness about showing the cost of the life [Tony] is living.”

(gif by @zinfandelli​)

Gauntlet Wristwatch

When trying to stop the Winter Soldier, Tony goes up against him with nothing but a single gauntlet made from his watch. That device was thought up by Robert himself. He pitched it to the directors and they let him do it. That fight shows Tony’s willingness to fight without his suit and his clever way to fight the Winter Soldier using his own body weight against him. Its a short scene but its a really cool gadget and an interesting fight.

(gif by @virgintony deactivated)

Tony’s glasses showing vulnerability

Tony uses his glasses to show when he’s vulnerable and when he’s guarded. Let’s be honest, that’s all Robert.

RDJ’s acting talent bringing weight to a superhero role

We love Tony because he’s layered. Because he’s made mistakes. Who else could bring the multidimensional portrayal to the role like Robert has? No one, in my opinion.

How RDJ is as an actor and ‘marvel ambassador’

RDJ talked Chris Evans into taking the role of Captain America and was part of choosing Tom Holland for Spiderman. Everyone says he is a generous acting partner, a great person to have on set, one of the first people to welcome newbies into the Marvel world. These things don’t have specific effects but they matter.

It took so long to find gifs that i kind of lost steam at the end. But my point still stands. Tony Stark is so beloved partly because he is portrayed by the right actor who cares about the role.

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

Rebecca Ferguson interview for CRASH Magazine (September 2020) - translation from French 

AB: You'll be starring in Dune which comes out at the end of this year. Everyone is eager to find out. How did you join this project?

RF: I had a meeting with Denis Villeneuve, the director. I find his work amazing and it was a dream to work with him. His films are always a feast for the eyes.

AB: This film is eagerly awaited, especially by the many fans of the books and the entire Dune universe. Do you feel a certain pressure not to disappoint the audience?

RF: I never feel pressure from the fans. It’s not my job. I have a lot of respect for them and want them to enjoy our work, but I can't please all the people who will go see the film and form their opinions. I remember Tom Cruise saying that everything he does, he does for the fans. I love it when people validate our work but to be honest I love what I do. I love creating a character, the incredible costumes, the make-up. And then work with the best in the world. If the film falters, at least I would have appreciated it. And then I like having conversations with people who don't necessarily agree with the film, it's interesting.

AB: I imagine you must have done a lot of research to prepare for this role.

RF: Oh my god, the whole universe of Dune is so hard to understand. I still barely understand it, even after the shoot. Why are we doing this? Where should I go? Who should I trust? (laughs) So yeah, I did a lot of research. Denis also did all of his own research that I could lean on. The make-up artist was a veritable well of knowledge and stories. And then Jacqueline West, the costume designer, compared our clothes to paintings, from the Renaissance, to Cubism, etc. I barely knew what she was talking about. I just smile. I was working with the experts from the experts. So I hope that at least some things have been achieved.

AB: You are going to shoot additional scenes soon?

RF: Yes, we're going on the set in August...

AB: How long have you lived in Sweden?

RF: I was born in Sweden and have lived there all my life. Then I moved to England a year and a half ago but I divide my time between my small fishing village and London.

AB: Is it important for you to have a foothold in Sweden?

RF: Yes, I have a thirteen year old son who lives there with his father. We're all very close so it's important for me to be where he is. We all travel together, we are a bit like a circus family. (laughs) My son goes to school and it was important not to break his habits and his circle of friends. Thirteen is an important age. With his father and his mother-in-law, we travel together as much as possible and we meet for the holidays. We make it work.

AB: What was your first encounter with cinema?

RF: I don't know how old I was anymore but I remember that when Beauty and the Beast came out in the cinema, I was scared but I still went to see it. I was upset because I was in love with the Beast and when he transformed into what everyone considered to be the perfect man, I found his new face not as alluring as his monster appearance. I wanted him to stay the Beast.

AB: When did you first consider being an actress?

RF: The funny thing is when I was young I never thought I would be an actress. I was fifteen or sixteen when I was taken to play in a series in Sweden. Before, I didn't like being on stage; I never took acting lessons in school. I was in a music school. I didn't have a lot of dreams or career plans. I was one of those kids who did what they were told to do. You have to go to school, do this, do that. You know the song; we call it the school system. Then when I was asked to do this casting for this show, I was terrified. I got the part and that's when my interest in acting started. I realized there was a world in which to hide. I could play characters without having to take responsibility for their actions... and apparently people thought I was good. Good enough to continue anyway.

AB: How did you find yourself participating in this casting?

RF: My mother had decided that I was going to model, even though I don't have the size or the body you would expect from a model. I ended up in a file called “normal people”. (laughs) I didn’t get a single job; it didn't suit me. My sister is a catwalk model so she knows how to do it. Me? Not at all. So I was on their file and I was constantly turning down jobs, I didn't want to do it. Then a casting agency was looking for an actress for this series having already selected the actors who would play her father and her mother. They flipped through model portfolios and then they found me.

AB: How did this first experience go? I saw that you had to act in several episodes a day.

RF: Yes, two and a half episodes a day. It was intense but I was thrown into a world I knew nothing about. I was a blank canvas. I had no expectations and didn't question how it worked. It made me realize that I love to work hard with imposed deadlines. I like to be thrown into difficult situations. It all happened naturally and I took this route.

AB: What was it like seeing yourself for the first time on TV?

RF: There is nothing natural about it. I remember that for the first episode in the series, my mother decided to have a big party with lots of guests. I was more excited about the evening than the rest and when the countdown to the screening started I remember feeling nauseous. I hid behind the sofa. It was very embarrassing. But on the other hand, I thought it was cool. It was a whole new situation, a new world open to me.

AB: After your debut in this Nya Tider series, did you take a break or did you continue to work non-stop?

RF: We actually shot for six months and then we had six months free. My stepfather at the time had the good idea to ask the production to hire me for the remaining six months. As I had left school, that meant I was employed full time, as an actress but also set manager, publicity assistant and everything the production needed when we weren't shooting. I learned everything behind the scenes, I was able to help with the script and the media part. It was the best job I had and it helped me understand the process better when I got back to shooting.

AB: What project did you work on next?

RF: Nothing happened for quite a while because it was a local show - I played a character that everyone associated me with. People recognized me and it was hard for some directors to see me in another role. Then a director called Richard Hobert offered me the lead role in his film “A One Way to Antibes”. It was my first role in the movies and from there I was able to meet agents. It was my gateway to the big screen.

AB: You then got the lead role in the BBC series “The White Queen”. Were you a fan of British television?

RF: Yes, my mother is English so I grew up watching UK programs. Yes Minister, Cracker ... there has been so much British TV in my life that this BBC production was perfect for my entry into the big leagues. This casting process has been probably the most exhilarating of my career. The racing heart, the hope, the doubt, the disappointment ... an emotional lift that I finally won.

AB: What doors have “The White Queen” opened to you?

RF: A lot. First of all, I was nominated for a Golden Globe in the “Best Actress in a Miniseries or Television Film” category which is crazy. I remember being nominated alongside Helen Mirren, Helena Bonham Carter, Elisabeth Moss, who won for her role in Top of the Lake. I was in the same room with people I admired a lot. I always felt like the little Swede who had no place in this extraordinary world. But “The White Queen” has caused meetings and a lot of castings. “A One-Way Trip to Antibes” gave me the opportunity to find an agent in London and the first casting I tried was for “The White Queen”. It was lucky but I also worked hard for this role.

AB: How do you manage the castings in general? Are you still anxious?

RF: At the beginning, everything revolves around castings and meetings. In fact no, before that there are the videos that you make yourself. You have to find monologues, film yourself with your best friend, your boyfriend or your mother. After that, it's the castings. We do so much and it goes very quickly. Sometimes there is a big blockbuster and they are looking for an actress at the last minute. There you are at the restaurant and you have to run to the toilet, grab your phone and do something. You have to prove yourself by putting forward a certain trait of your personality to stand out among the four hundred thousand people who try their luck. I've always liked going to castings. A lot of people I met there were great and understood the horror of the situation. They made me feel relaxed. Again, I would throw myself into situations without giving it much thought and hoping someone would notice me. If that doesn't work, you have to move on.

AB: Are there any mentors that you have met throughout your career?

RF: Yes, Veronica St Clair was my coach in Sweden. After playing on the show, I missed the end of my schooling so I couldn't go to college. I would have started from scratch. But I had worked for two years in nurseries, restaurants, supermarkets, etc. I had left home and was living an adult life at a young age. I saved some money to pay for my personal development classes which helped me better express myself and improvise. I also contacted film schools who still needed free actors for their end of year films. I've done a lot, I don't know how many student films. I took what I could take. Veronica was unbelievable, she did so much for me. She has prepared me for many challenges. But at one point, we have the chance to stop casting. We make appointments. The dynamics are changing. It's not just about pleasing a director anymore, we have to like the project too, that it brings us something.

AB: It becomes a conversation.

RF: Yes. Can this film stimulate me? Is the project right for me?

AB: At what point in your career have you felt your opinion was as important as pleasing a director?

RF: After Mission Impossible.

AB: How did the casting go for this film?

RF: I was filming a miniseries called “The Red Tent” for Lifetime. Tom told me he noticed me on “The White Queen”. It's a funny story from their side because they had auditioned a lot of women without being able to find the right one. They had already considered me for the role, but I didn’t make a good enough impression for them to stop casting. (laughs) Then they had to do it again because the chosen person didn't suit. They are very careful and don't say too much when they tell these stories. I always wanted to know who the other woman was. (laughs) Finally, resuming the auditions, they decided to give me my chance. I was in Morocco, sitting on the camel Nicole Kidman had used for the movie “Queen of the Desert”. They called me to tell me that Tom Cruise wanted to meet me. They wanted to see if I could fight. It was quite surreal. They brought in the stunt teams who created the choreography. I realized I loved it. I could use my dance knowledge, which I have been practicing from a young age. They were very good martial arts trainers. And then I ended up getting the part.

AB: How did you appropriate the character of Ilsa Faust?

RF: I don't feel like I appropriated it honestly. There are certain characters that I personalize. But when it comes to Mission Impossible, Christopher McQuarrie is such a great writer that I focused on physical training and being part of an already formed team. As an actress, you have to bring something personal, the way I walk, I talk, I frown, I think, will be reflected in the character. I'm not going too far into the secrets or shadows of the director. There is a precise technique in the creation of these films. You have to have confidence, know your text and arrive on time.

AB: Was it the first time that you had to have such great physical preparation and stunts to do?

RF: I had never had so much need to train and be in good shape. Like I said, I love challenges and working hard to achieve a goal. I remember Chris telling me in an interview, “Tom is a movie star. Simon Pegg isn't just his sidekick, he's smart, funny. Luther Stickell also brings something. All of these male characters add something to Mission Impossible. Who are you? What are you bringing?”. I remember thinking about it, telling myself that Ilsa's character had to fill a void, that the film would miss her if we took her away. I had to find meaning in it. It's a balance between following something that has been created and leaving an imprint. This is something Tom and Chris have done very well. Ilsa has a real mission, she saves Tom. She is his equal. This is not a vase. But she's also vulnerable, she's scared ... she feels things. There was a lot to do on this project, to live up to what already existed.

AB: You've been in a lot of action and science fiction movies. What attracts you to this kind of cinema?

RF: I think I am drawn to all genres of cinema. What happened was, I played in Mission Impossible and people loved Ilsa. I proved that I could act out the fight scenes myself and I loved it. I think these kinds of films came naturally to me. But I try to vary the genres. My dream is to shoot in independent films. I want to go where I have never been. And I haven't made an independent film yet. A lot of people fight to shoot in big Hollywood studio movies and I was lucky to have had those experiences.

[warmest-oceans]

A Non-Paradoxical Moment of Accepting Oneself While Falling in Love with a Best Friend

Set in Phuket, a beautiful large island in southern Thailand, I Told Sunset About You already wins the Best Picture category. The island is magnificent on its own — blessed with emerald clear water, bed of white sand, quiet calm breeze, but the island also has the charm of its old town scenery. Every shot feels like it was shot in a new world. The combination of laid-back island life with culturally rich town is visually pleasing.

Aside from its excellent choice of set, the storyline is the true gem here. In the peaceful island of Phuket, we’re brought into the not-so-quiet lives of our two male protagonists, Teh (Billkin Assaratanakul) and Oh-aew (PP Amnuaydechkorn). From the start we know that these two best friends are about to be involved in something that’s bigger than themselves, something that’s uncontrollable and something that will change their lives forever.

It won’t be a 10/10 series if the actors can’t bring the golden storyline to live. The actors who play our male protagonists apparently have been friends since they were teenagers, making every scene they act on-screen believable. The chemistry can be seen clearly with a dash of improvisation here and there by the actors themselves and the magical direction by Boss Kuno, the director of the series.

I can’t really wrap up my introductory of the series without mentioning the amazing soundtrack and scoring. We only have three songs as soundtrack (with different versions) sung by our male protagonists, but the quality is top-notch, you’ll fall for it!

OK, I’m done with my introductory piece. Now, let me gush about this series. To me, I Told Sunset About You has become a coming-of-age story that left a permanent dent in my heart. It’s everything I ask for in a series; a beautiful set, excellent story, magical chemistry, and incredibly fitting soundtrack. Sadly, the series is almost always lumped into BL category, which I find insulting to the series to be honest.

Although I don’t identify myself as a part of LGBTQ+ community, I relate to the series more than I initially thought. Let me be honest, I am INVESTED in this series. Let me just write down the things that I think make this series is in a whole another league.

Self-acceptance in the middle of everything else

The series is great at delivering the moment of being a teenager who’s in the middle of self-discovery, starting to think about the future (the protagonists are in 12th grade), falling in love (hard) for the first time (on top of that, with your very own best friend!), seeking acceptance and validation, and trying to stay afloat at the same time. The topic seems to be nothing out of ordinary, but its ordinariness that brings up its own charm when it’s combined with excellent character development.

We all go through self-discovery and we all try to accept who we are when we’re teenagers — how crazy it was, restless, tiring, but also exhilarating it was. That’s why I think the series will resonate with most people.

I love how the process of the protagonists discovering and accepting themselves also answers the dilemma of falling in love with the best friend. Personally, I believe that I need to love myself first to love another person (note: if you want it to work and if you want the relationship to be a healthy one).

Thanks to this series I had a pleasure of reliving the experience of self-discovery and self-acceptance once again. No kidding, after I watched the series, I did a bit of self-reflection.

Impulsiveness

I think the first emotion that the series successfully portrayed is the impulsiveness of hot-blooded teens. I love how chaotic and erratic Teh and Oh-aew can be. One day they’re best friend, tomorrow? Who knows. Everything is a mess and everything is truly a collection of fleeting temporary moments.

Nobody in the series got their shit together and it’s supposed to be like that. Nobody figures out shit when they are in 12th grade. Everyone in the series is scattered, explosive, tortured, yet sensitive and delicate at the same time. It really reminds me of my own 12th grade moments!

Most of teens would act out of their gut reactions and that’s exactly what the characters do in this series. They’re not perfectly groomed and planned. So if you’re no longer in your teenage years or maybe if you’re in your 30s, you may find some of their actions to be silly and atrocious even. Tip: try to remember your teenage years. Try to remember all the stupid things you did in 12th grade. It helps you understand the characters.

Jealousy among friends is real and valid

I rarely see a show can realistically execute the side story of jealousy in friendship or even rivalry. Sometimes it’s too mean, sometimes it’s not even brought up (mostly being avoided in a story). I Told Sunset About You portrays jealousy in the most relatable way, through microexpressions. Through Oh-aew’s subtle glance at Teh and Ma or through Teh’s smile when talking to Oh-aew. Really, kudos to the whole team!

Naivety that leads to boldness

I think we can all agree that we’re much bolder when we’re younger, no? That’s because we have this naivety vested in us. Like trying to learn how to ride a bike for the first time, we don’t think much about the risk, we just want to have fun with the bike. We think adults will catch us when we fall anyway.

It’s another thing from the series that makes me fall in love with it. These flawed characters, probably in their 17 or 18, think that everything will be sorted out eventually. While, we adult know that most of the time, we clean our own mess. You’ll know what I’m talking about in episode 4.

Everyone got their own idea of first love

I think love is a complex, hard-to-understand feeling for everyone in every age, let alone for a bunch of 12th graders. Deeply impressed with how the series handles the tenderness and also the chaos of first love. How the series shows different outcomes of loving romantically for the first time is also admirable.

Teh stole my heart. At first, he was so certain about his feeling. He was calm, loving, and patient, the best you could be when you’re in love. But later when he’s in turmoil with himself, he becomes petty, awkward, and impulsive. He thought he loved, but turned out, it wasn’t even the kind of love he’d imagined.

I’m the main character

No character in this series is a filler. Everyone got their own dream and ambitions. Tarn, the female character isn’t just an obstacle between our protagonists. She’s a fully-developed character, an independent woman that works hard for her dream and a dynamic person. Bas, a male character, a good friend of Oh-aew has his own likings and dream. He’s good at some things. He acts on his own. Everyone is the main character in their own world and it’s evident in the series.

Symbolism and color theory

This wouldn’t be one of my favorite series without hidden meanings, symbolism, and color theory. Almost every scene and every material placement is intentional in this series. I won’t talk about it much because it’ll spoil the fun of you finding them.

Nostalgia

I had fun watching, crying, smiling, and laughing throughout the episodes the way they are. Aside from warmth and the feeling of awe, maybe the production crew doesn’t realize that it also makes me feeling nostalgic.

It reminds me of how futile and just fragile some of the moments from my youth were. They looked like big deals when I was in my 17, but now they are just dust. They really don’t matter in the next 5 years.

It reminds me of how insanely good falling in love felt like. It was intense yet tender, messy yet everything fell into pieces perfectly. The feeling that you want to give the person the world, but sometimes that world isn’t what the other person wants or needs. The feeling that you can almost do anything for this person. The suffocating feeling of not knowing what to do, but want to do everything for the other person. The liberating feeling of falling into the abyss. The feeling of surrender… completely.

The series makes me remember how exciting and scary it was when I realized I fell in love with one of my best friends, how confusing it was to even talk to him the next day after the realization. I just wanted to be with him ever since. Nobody could take that away from me and everything just didn’t make sense anymore in my head, just like how Teh and Oh-aew felt.

As you can see, I only have good words for the series. I hope, after watching the series, you’ll feel various emotions but hopefully… they’re all good and warm, because that’s how I felt. I also think that the production crew tried really hard to deliver a heartwarming series (please watch the documentaries/their behind the scene videos, it’s amazing!). I hope this series can be a newfound joy for you.

[rebelsofshield]

Star Wars The Mandalorian: “Redemption”-Review

The Mandalorian closes out its debut season in a finale that is action packed, thrilling, and outrageously fun.

(Review contains spoilers)

Moff Gideon has The Mandalorian and his allies pinned down. The child has been captured by Imperial scouts and is on its way to be delivered to the enemy. Kuiil has already given his life. It will require quick thinking and grit for the newly minted team to make it out of this situation alive. Luckily for them, they have an assassin droid turned nanny on the way to the rescue.

Although season showrunner and writer Jon Favrea maintains a sole writing credit for this finale, director Taika Waititi’s creative stylings could not be more apparent. Known for oddball comedies that lean heavy on improvisation such as What We Do in the Shadows or his massively successful reinvention of the Thor franchise in Thor: Ragnarok, Waititi may originally seem to be an odd choice for such a climactic hour of television. The stakes could not be higher for our cast of characters and while The Mandalorian has never been a particularly dour show, it is easy to worry that some of the tension so desperately laid out in last week’s installment by Deborah Chow would be lost in the process.

Favreau and Waititi prove to be a perfect match though. Waititi’s experience in comedic direction and also blockbuster action proves to be a natural fit for an episode that runs the tonal gamut and features some knockout set pieces and moments of character driven quiet. He proves just the right kind of deft hand to guide The Mandalorian through these big emotional and spectacle moments and in the process it makes “Chapter Eight: Redemption” easily the strongest episode of the series.

Much of what made “Reckoning” stand out was that a larger series ensemble was finally allowed to exist and breathe. We spent so much of the series following a lone Mandalorian, or I guess we can finally start calling him Din Djarin, and his little child fugitive, that there was a fun thrill to seeing him get to be a team player alongside much of the rest of the cast we have built throughout the season. “Redemption” thankfully gets to build upon this even further. Even with poor Kuiil dead from the opening, Greef Carga, Cara Dune, and Din are all working together as a desperate team with their lives and futures on the line. Waititi mines all three actors for some great character interactions and his skill for ensemble comedy shines here as the different personalities get to butt heads but also shine. Much of “Redemption” sees the crew working together to not only save themselves, but one another by thinking their ways out of tense situations. It does come as a disappointment that as we get to the episode’s inevitable conclusion that so much of this new found group is stripped and scattered and we end with a series status quo that is not much different than the one we created back in the third episode of this season. It represents an unfortunate bit of back peddling by Favreau that can’t help but feel like a wasted opportunity for the future.

It is welcome that despite the incredible stakes present in “Redemption,” that Waititi’s humorous sensibilities shine through so clearly. A cold open following the two bored, incompetent, and cruel scout troopers, played by Jason Sudekis and Adam Pally ,that captured Baby Yoda is absolutely bursting with Waititi’s personal brand of comedy and skill for improvisational dialogue. It has more personality and feels more creatively fresh than almost anything else that Star Wars has delivered this year. Within the span of several minutes Waititi and Favreau craft these two troopers as two confused and nasty grunts that are caught up in the schemes of madmen. They oscillate between sympathy and hatred, and there are few moments as satisfying this episode as when IG-11 arrives to brutally dispatch them.

IG-11. Oh boy, IG-11. The herky-jerky assassin droid has been a treat for this series since the start. His appearance in the first episode of the season was pure action packed joy and voiced with dry practicality by Taika Waititi. “Reckoning” introduced a fun wrinkle that saw this droid repurposed for nannying and personal care and “Redemption” finds joyous, bloody fun in the marriage between the two. I challenge any viewer not to be cackling with glee when IG-11 with Baby Yoda strapped to his chest speeders into town laying waste to all in sight. It’s an incredibly fun and joyous moment that Waititi directs with glee and clear affection.

Unexpectedly, IG-11 also becomes key to Din’s own emotional arc for not only this episode but the series. There is so much packed into “Redemption,” but it all carries with it an almost effortless efficiency. Not only does IG-11’s violent rescue of Baby Yoda lead him to save Din and his allies, but it also provides a smart dovetail to Din’s subplot regarding his childhood hatred of droids. When injured, Din is forced to make himself vulnerable to his droid ally in a way that he hasn’t been able to so far. It makes for a quiet moment of character growth that also allows us to finally see Pedro Pascal’s lovely face, even if it is dirtied with sweat and blood. This moment of rescue and intimacy between two adversaries turned allies makes Din’s sadness at IG-11’s eventual sacrifice all the more believable. IG-11’s explosive end is a heartbreaking moment both in that it’s so rough to see Favreau remove such a strong character from play so soon after reinventing him, but also due to just the amount of joyful personality Waititi has injected into him all season long.

It is a little odd that I haven’t really talked much about Din yet. It is after all his show, but given that Pascal’s often wordless physical performance has carried much of this season, it makes sense that the finale allows much of the supporting cast chances to shine as well. This is far from a bad thing and all the same Din gets a rather exciting and emotional close to his season long arc heading into the future. The mysterious armorer returns to not only finally grant Din his signet, but to also offer him a goal for the future. Just as Din was saved as a child by some roving Mandalorians (who were apparently aligned with Death Watch terrorists which is something that I hope we really breakdown in the future) Baby Yoda is also a child that is lost and is now in the care of their culture. For all intents and purposes Baby Yoda is a foundling and his future is in the hands of Din. Whether he returns the baby to his people, whether they be other “Yodas” or the ancient Mandalorian Jedi rivals, or even raises the baby to be his own child, the two now form a clan of two, which functions as both a fulfilling close to Din’s seasonal arc, but also a fun status quo for the future.

Speaking of the future, Giancarlo Espositio’s Moff Gideon is very clearly positioned as the series’ big bad, at least for the moment. Espositio plays Gideon with a mysterious gravitas that is threatening and intriguing, but so much of the character still remains an enigma. Who this man is and how he knows so much about our heroes is just as much a question as why he wants our little green child to begin with. Oh, and he also happens to be holding the ancestral weapon of the Mandalorian people, the Darksaber. It’s one hell of a final shot for fans of the television side of the Star Wars universe, and it’s frankly surprising that this one of kind lightsaber not only looks so good in live action but makes the leap out of animation at all. No wonder its wookieepedia page has been trending for days now.

“Redemption” closes the book on what has been an uneven, but ultimately fun season of television and does so by delivering an hour of television that is joyous, moving, bursting with spectacle, and just flat out fun. The Mandalorian may not ever be shooting to be prestige television and will doubtfully ever get as strange and contemplative as The Clone Wars or Rebels were at their heights, but Jon Favreau has crafted a new corner of the Star Wars universe that is begging to be returned to. (Thankfully we have less than a year to do so!) It also introduced us to a smattering of new creative voices that bring something exciting to the franchise. Waititi and Chow in particular are clear standouts and should be brought back to the galaxy far, far away pronto.

Score: A

[buzzdixonwriter]

Four Movies About Movies

If you love movies the way I do, you’ll appreciate the quadruple goodness Netflix is currently offering.

First off, Shirkers, a wild story about a lost film made over 30 years ago by a group of female Singaporean punks and their con-artist film school professor.

Of course, being a Singapore punk back in the 1980s meant you looked like an anime fan girl, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

Wikipedia sums up the basic premise: “In 1992, Sandi Tan, alongside friends Jasmine Ng and Sophie Siddique, as well as film teacher Georges Cardona shot the independent film Shirkers. After wrapping, Tan, Ng, and Siddique left the footage with Cardona as the trio went to study abroad for college. However, Cardona disappeared with the footage and the trio never saw or heard from him again. “20 years later, and 10 years following Cardona’s death, Cardona’s wife emailed Tan, informing her that she was in possession of the footage for Shirkers, minus the audio tracks. In the proceeding years, Tan decided to digitize the footage and use it to make something new - a documentary about the making of the film.”

Shirkers is a delight. It captures the edgy exuberance of youth (and contrasts same with the middle age reality the three teens grew into) and offers an insight into the culture of Singapore, squeaky clean on the outside but containing its own forms of social rebellion.

Cardona, the bogus film school professor, is one of a long line of cinematic con men who tried to get a project off the ground with nothing more than a smile and a shoeshine.

That he comes across as more misguided than malevolent may be part of Tan’s shading of the story, but it may also reflect something about the man himself:  Never fully satisfied with who he really was, always wanting to build and embellish on that life, but while reckless apparently never cold hearted or cruel.

It’s a wonderful movie and extremely thought provoking.

Another cinematic con man can be found in The Other Side Of The Wind and They’ll Love Me When I’m Dead, both released through Royal Road Entertainment.

It’s the savvy film company that releases not one but two movies based on an infamous lost / unreleasable film.

We’ll start with They’ll Love Me When I’m Dead, a documentary about Orson Welles’ struggles to complete The Other Side Of The Wind and incorporating a lot of footage from that project that couldn’t be used in the final assembly (among other things, actors were replaced or changed parts).

While one could cite Welles as the titular con man, in truth there was a legion of schnooks, scammers, and slickee boiz attached to The Other Side Of The Wind over the years. The film was a hard luck project from the gitgo, getting mixed up with deposed shahs, revolutionary governments, and international embezzlers.

By the time all the dust had settled and some sense could be made out of the complicated rights’ claims, Welles and 90% of his cast had died.  What little bit he had assembled was analyzed, his copious notes and interviews were pored over, and in the end The Other Side Of The Wind was finally released.

Was it a good movie?

Well…let’s say it a movie, an Orson Welles’ movie, and let it go at that.

The Other Side Of The Wind had a long genesis, starting shortly after Hemingway’s suicide and evolving over the years to become a story about a macho film director.

However, the Great Big Shocking Reveal that Welles planned in the 1960s / 70s had become pretty passé by the 1980s and is now kinda corny.  It’s valid in the movie as a period piece but that works against the film; it’s not a living document but a look back at a different era, a different attitude.

The conceit of The Other Side Of The Wind is that it’s a documentary about the last film / last night of a legendary film maker, J.J. Hannaford (played by John Huston).  “The Other Side Of The Wind” is the uncompleted film he is shooting at the time of his death; it will remain uncompleted because the star stormed off the set (part of the aforementioned Great Big Shocking Reveal) and Hannaford, faced with a hostile studio and investors who have puled their cash, dies in a car crash, possibly a suicide.

The bulk of the film takes place at Hannaford’s home during a birthday party for him; it is shot using various film gauges and stocks to represent different film crews / journalists / film buffs recording the same event.

It’s a very free flowing / highly improvised affair with moments that can pass from brilliant to banal and back again in a flash (how much of this is because Welles’ was unable to assemble it the way he envisions, and how much is just a lack of material is open to debate).

A grim joke running through the bigger film is that “The Other Side Of The Wind” (i.e.,  the film-within-the-film) is constantly being interrupted during its various screenings, so there’s no way of appraising it as a totality. 

“The Other Side Of The Wind” was Welles’ attempt to ape the free form film making style briefly popular during the late 60s and early 70s.

It actually looks like a Russ Meyer film of that era, beautifully photographed, filmed with striking images, and lots of naked ladies.

Lots and lots and lots of naked ladies.

There’s a story about Alfred Hitchcock working on his supposed last film at Universal (in reality, the studio indulging an old man who made them a fortune by giving him an office and a secretary and the chance to hang out with old film making friends). Hitchcock worked on a script with a writer he’d used in the past, but the further they got into the story, the more the writer realized what he was writing had nothing to do with what could possibly be filmed and released by a major studio, but rather were the erotic fantasies and fetishes of a doddering old man.

“The Other Side Of The Wind” has that kind of feel to it, and while it’s well done and memorable, lordie, it ain’t good.  That The Other Side Of The Wind manages to rise a couple of notches above that is a credit to Welles and his posthumous collaborators.

Rounding out our list, Filmworker is a fascinating story about Leon Vitali, a successful young worker who landed the choice role of Lord Burlington in Barry Lyndon and become so mesmerized by Stanley Kubrick’s directorial prowess that he abandoned his acting career to becomes Kubrick’s assistant.

This isn’t the kind of story one expects to see about a talented film maker, a story about an acolyte who remains loyal and steadfast decades after the master’s death.

While Filmworker references most of Kubrick’s films, it focuses most tightly on Barry Lyndon, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, and Eyes Wide Shut.

There’s a wealth of fascinating material here, including R. Lee Emery crowing about how he stole the role of Gunnery Sergeant Hartman from under Tim Colceri in Full Metal Jacket, and the intricacies of finding a compatible work around for Kubrick’s obsessive directorial style vs child labor laws.

Vitali’s own career and early life, especially the not-at-all-positive influence of his father, are also delved into.

By the end of the film, one feels happy for Vitali: Looking back, he thinks he made the right career choice, and if he’s happy with the way things turned out, who are we to question that?

© Buzz Dixon

[timeisacephalopod]

Rewards Points

Remember that YouTube AU I wrote with Peter Q/ Stephen/ Tony? Well I liked it so I’m writing more of it. So this is more of that (also if you want to find the first you can locate it under YouTube AU and also IronStarQuill).

Tony considers the empty spot beside him and Peter is doing the same. “Have we ever done a video without Stephen?” he asks eventually. 

He shakes his head, “pretty sure we haven’t. How do we start this?”

“Why are we even confused? He never starts these things, most of our videos are us talking,” Peter points out.

Its true for the most part but Stephen always has something to say and now Tony is confused without his presence. “Maybe we should wait until he’s back,” he says,

Peter considers it, he can see Peter consider it, but he eventually shakes his head. “Nah, he’d be pissed we didn’t stick to the schedule. You know how he is.” Shit does he ever, Stephen is a damn stickler for being on time and schedule. It works for Peter, who’s usually under a time crunch on set, but Tony has never liked being on time or on schedule. He makes his own times and schedules and everyone else works around him.

“How is it possible that none of our schedules have ever conflicted with these videos before?” he asks. That simply isn’t possible- Peter’s jobs might be always up in the air, but Stephen and Tony travel consistently for their jobs. Especially him.

“We do dark weeks when none of us are going to be around,” Peter says. “Which usually means only one of us is around. Its just weird luck that two of us are here and Stephen is off doing doctor things. I think, I didn’t really ask,” Peter says.

“He’s giving a talk on spines or something like that, I have a hard time keeping up,” he admits.

Peter looks instantly relieved. “Jesus, I thought I was the only one. I mean you’re a genius and all that and Stephen can go on for hours if you let him.”

That’s an understatement but yeah, Tony has a hard time keeping up with language he doesn’t understand. He spends a lot of time looking up the terms Stephen uses on the fly but none of it seems to stick in his mind. Biology is not the kind of science he finds interesting unless it involves technology somehow. “Yeah, I don’t really care about spine things. I mean I care that Stephen cares but I don’t really know anything about it,” he says.

They sit awkwardly for a long moment before Peter speaks up. “What was this video supposed to be about?” he asks, defaulting to wrangling duties, Tony supposes.

“You pissing off studios because you thought it was funny,” he says. It’s a topic Stephen wouldn’t have much to contribute to anyways, hence them choosing it over other topics of interest. Like people’s weird need to know about Stephen and Peter’s early feud that Tony didn’t know existed but apparently got pretty vicious until they decided maybe they weren’t each other’s enemy. Tony doesn’t know if his total lack of knowledge of this means Peter and Stephen were subtle or if he’s completely dense but he’s leaning towards dense. Neither Stephen nor Peter know anything of subtlety.

“Right, yes,” Peter says. “So anyone who watches these things probably keeps up with me or Tony so you’ve probably already seen that trailer that nearly got me fired from my own fucking movie- like literally I wrote it, I’m directing it, and I’m one of the producers too, how the hell were they going to fire me? Okay I mean it can happen but given the response the trailer got I didn’t get fired,” Peter says.

Tony shakes his head because none of Peter’s fretting made any sense when his job was on the potential chopping block. “What the hell was the problem anyways? You soft of freaked out about maybe being fired but you didn’t actually say why.”

Peter sighs, “alright- so some background. No one wanted to do a movie about a gay guy who’s gayness was kind of irrelevant to the actual story for one- guess people don’t understand that being gay isn’t usually the only important thing about a person. So that was a strike against me. Then the problem was that no one big enough was attached to it so I asked Tony to do me a favor considering he had a lot in common with the character anyways so that saved my ass for five minutes. Then it turned out the kid that was cast as his son is trans, not like I knew that because I don’t make a habit of telling people to whip it out in auditions, so that was a thing,” he says, making a face. 

“Whatever. So when people stopped yelling about that they basically told me I was supposed to sell the story based on Tony’s fanbase but I didn’t want to do that so instead of making the reveal in the trailer that Tony is in it, I had the guys who cut the trailer stick him in less than thirty seconds into it and let the damn story sell itself. So that caused a whole new round of problems but people’s response to it was basically ‘wow, he didn’t use Tony Stark as his selling point, the story looks good!’ And that’s how I managed to keep my job,” he says.

“Not to be like... ungrateful or anything, but my fanbase is either a bunch of lovely human beings or the kind of guys who watch Fight Club and want to start a fight club. There’s no in between, and the guys who’d want to start a fight club would be pissed about the gay thing because dating two guys still doesn’t make me gay. I mean they’re kind of right, I’m bisexual but still, I’m not straight.” God knows he hates the half of his fanbase that thinks the time he spent drinking too much and acting like a complete jackass was a good way to live life but he can’t exactly do much about it now. Sure, he’s expressed plenty of distaste towards people who are like that, but no one seems content to listen.

Peter snorts, “oh my god, sidenote- one time Stephen and I looked you up. Can’t remember why but this was back before we stopped hating each other so we were probably looking for some kind of evidence that you loved one of us more than the other. Anyway, so we came across this entire blog that was dedicated to talking about how you ruined yourself by being too ‘PC’, and that dating Stephen and I was for ‘PC’ points. You know what, looking back on it I think that’s the first time Stephen and I bonded because we both thought it was hilarious that a real human being would genuinely think that you’d date someone just to be politically correct,” he says.

Tony lets out a long, drawn out sigh because this is the kind of shit he hates. “Yeah, obviously I date people to be politically correct. Bonus points because Stephen isn’t white,” he says sarcastically. 

“I think Stephen’s personality strips all those bonus points. I love him but he’s a total dickhead. I think I should earn more bonus points,” Peter says.

“None of you are earning any points, I’m not a points reward card, you can’t redeem your points at my non-existent cash register. If I were to award points though Stephen gets points for being a freakishly good kisser and you get points for being better at cuddling than Stephen,” he says. Stephen isn’t meant to cuddle, he gets home and if you touch him he literally growls until he’s slept for a few hours. Then he expects attention until he gets sick of it. Sort of like a cat.

Peter nods, “I’m not even mad about it, Stephen is a freakishly good kisser. I mean usually kissing is more a means to an end for me but Stephen makes it a whole show. Honestly I feel like a fucking golden retriever next to that,” he says, shaking his head.

Yeah, Peter has a lot less skill but so does Tony so its not like he can judge. “Ok. Stephen is a good kisser, that’s established. Back to you almost getting fired,” he says, preforming the necessary wrangling duties.

“Right! So yeah, anyways I also got into an argument about the kid, what’s his name?” he asks Tony.

“Peter,” he says. Kid is smart too, Tony likes him.

“Yeah, Peter. Eventually I got annoyed enough that I told them we keep the kid or I walk, which means you walk, which also takes your portion of the funding and they can have fun unkilling a dead project they all like now because you got involved. Needless to say I won,” Peter says.

Tony raises an eyebrow, “you did all that for some random unknown actor?” he asks, surprised.

Peter shrugs, “no one knew who I was either at one point. Then my fuckface dad almost ruined it for me when people did finally start to pay attention. Anyways, point is you and the kid have chemistry, I’m not recasting because I didn’t ask what junk looked like during auditions. That’s weird, invasive, and also technically discriminatory. Seriously though, the screen tests will not be the same with anyone else. If I didn’t know better I’d think he was your actual kid, you two work amazingly together and you actually produce good improv. Improv is hard,” he says but Tony doesn’t really know. He’s improvised near everything in his life so he’s gotten good at it. And the kid has talent and he’s fun to work with, Tony likes his memes.

“Pretty sure it wouldn’t actually matter, I’m good with him because I like kids, not because I like him specifically. I mean in two years he’ll be bitter and sad because the world is shit and seems intent on crushing people to death but you know. He’s fun now, while he still has hope and child-like wonder and all that.” Tony hopes he’ll be able to keep that bright light of wonder and happiness but he knows that’s probably never going to happen. Kid is different and the world has always punished anyone who doesn’t fit the status quo.

“Whatever, I don’t care if you like kids, I’m not replacing the kid I got for stupid reasons,” he says. “He’s fucking adorable and you two get along well, it’ll look good on camera. Less work as a director for me that way.”

Tony snorts because yeah, there’s the real reason Peter fought to keep mini Peter around- less work for him.

“Has it occurred to you that you forgot the name of an actor that has the same name as you?” Tony asks.

Peter shrugs, “I’m the best Peter so I don’t remember any of the others,” he says and Tony starts laughing.

*

Stephen ends up being called in to work before he even gets home, which Tony wonders about because jet leg is a bitch, but when he does finally venture home he sleeps for a stupid amount of time before wandering into the kitchen. He recognizes his own voice- ugh- and Peter’s and frowns until he finally clues in to Stephen watching the video he and Peter did without him. It got a surprisingly high hit count and a huge amount of positivity neither of them had been expecting. They hadn’t even realized why Peter’s name was suddenly trending on Twitter until they looked through the reactions.

Seems people were pleased that Peter stood up for younger trans Peter even though none of them seemed to have clued into the fact that Peter only did it to save himself directing trouble later.

“Peter gets too much credit as an ally, he only kept mini Peter because he didn’t want to try and coach chemistry out of another random teen that’s genetically dissimilar to you,” Stephen mumbles, trudging towards the coffee. His eyes are glued to it like its going to save him from jet leg and being extra tired after a shift at the hospital.

“Oh my god, genetics do weird things sometimes and Peter looks like his movie mother, Stephen, so shut up!” Peter yells from the living room.

“His features are still genetically unlikely, you should have recast,” Stephen yells back.

“No, I don’t want to find another kid who looks that good with Tony on camera. Mini Peter is good, I don’t give a shit about genetics!” Peter yells to him.

Stephen mumbles something under his breath as he pours his coffee. “Next people are going to accuse him of dating us for PC points,” he mutters.

“That’s already happened. Also how come no one accuses you of doing that?” he asks.

“Because minorities don’t usually scramble for PC points, we’re born with them. Don’t look at me like that, I think its stupid too. Also I think Peter’s bad self insert movie about the father he wished he had with a kid that could pass as his is sad and depressing, but also creepy because he cast his boyfriend as his metaphorical dad,” Stephen mumbles. He takes a drink of his coffee just as Peter enters the room.

He obviously hears the last bit of that because he goes from looking ready to fight Stephen on genetics to disgusted in ten seconds flat. “Oh my god, how dare- I did not, Tony isn’t- He is not my father!” Peter says, horrified.

Tony shakes his head, “no, no I am not and Stephen you need to stop that. I’m not playing the role of Peter’s dad.”

“Are so. You’re officially his daddy,” Stephen says, grinning as Peter and Tony both start gagging.

“I have too many daddy issues for this shit,” Tony mumbles, gagging again. “Please tell me this isn’t actually a story about the father you wished you had,” he says to Peter.

Peter is still gagging to his left, looking so disgusted he’s about to cry. “It is, but Stephen had to fucking make it weird, I didn’t even make that connection until he made it for me.”

Tony shakes his head. “No, absolutely not, I’m leaving you both and going back to Pepper and getting no PC points for it,” he says, wrinkling his entire face is disgust.

“Well, she’s a woman running a very successful company- technically your company- so I think you get a half a PC point for that,” Stephen tells him, smiling pleasantly like he’s happy that he’s permanently ruined Tony’s relationship with Peter.

“You did this on purpose!” Peter accuses. “You know how many daddy issues Tony and I have and you totally weaponized it!”

Stephen continues drinking his coffee. “I’d like to point out that I’m clearly the superior partner because I’ve never made you my father. Though, to be fair you look nothing like him even if you’re the same height,” he says.

“Fuck you, Stephen,” Peter tells him. “I thought you got over the jealousy thing.” He pouts, giving Tony puppy eyes but he can’t look Peter in the eye right now. Or maybe ever again.

“Sure I am, but I like making you squirm and also I do find it very strange that you cast Tony as your pseudo father. Just saying, I think maybe you have more issues than you think,” Stephen tells Peter.

Peter sits down on the ground before flopping over and curling into a ball. “I hate you and my life,” he mumbles.

“Stop whining, at least you aren’t my dad!” Tony tells him.

“You aren’t my dad either, you just had a lot in common with the character!” Peter says. “Stephen only made it weird because he sucks.”

“I only pointed out the obvious,” Stephen corrects.

Tony lets out a long groan because this is going to be a painful process. Peter seems to feel the same way but Stephen, the asshole, looks utterly pleased with himself.

“Also,” Stephen adds, “next time I would actually like if you waited for me to return to do a video.”

Peter and Tony flip him off but Stephen looks utterly unrepentant.

[analogscum]

DON’S PLUM (2001, d. R.D. Robb)

Why is it, my dear Scumbags, that forbidden fruit is the sweetest fruit of all? Why is it that, when we know that we can’t have something, it only makes us want it that much more? This applies to any number of life’s pleasures, but especially to movies. Just think of the number of films that are out there, just waiting to be viewed, but because they’ve either been lost to time, or the powers that be have locked them away somewhere, we may never get to experience. London After Midnight. The Day the Clown Cried. Until recently, anyway, The Other Side of the Wind. Well, tonight, thanks to the magic of illegal YouTube uploads, I’m here to tell you about some of that forbidden fruit. We’re going to talk about a film that its stars do not want you to see (if you live in America or Canada, that is), a film that to this day they continue to try and bury via any legal shenanigans they can. So get ready, because it’s time to take a big juicy bite out of Don’s Plum.

To start, we must talk about the nineties. In the nineties, two big things happened that allowed Don’s Plum to come into existence: the advent of low-budget Indies with cool kids talking in verbose, provocative lingo (see: Pulp Fiction, Clerks, Reality Bites, Kids, etc.), and the teen heartthrob coronation of Leonardo DiCaprio. As an infamous New York magazine profile from 1998 established, young Leo ran with a gang of fellow young thespians who would be immortalized as “the Pussy Posse.” The modus operandi of the Pussy Posse was…well, you can probably guess what it was. These guys were all about scoring chicks and getting loaded and not tipping waitresses, and they lived like goddamn boy kings. Leo was the leader, with his two best friends Tobey Maguire and Kevin Connolly on either side of the pussy throne. Other members of the Pussy Posse included David Blaine, Lucas Haas, and R.D. Robb, who you undoubtedly remember as the kid who played Schwartz in A Christmas Story. Anyway, around 1995, Robb had a boffo idea: if I could get my hands on a camera and some black and white film, I could shoot my friends doing what we do every night, just hanging out acting like douchebags, and somehow this will magically congeal into a smash indie hit. So Leo and Tobey, who were allegedly under the impression that this was just going to be a short film, gave Robb a bunch of money to make this thing, which he did, casting Leo, Tobey, Kevin Connolly, and a bunch of their other friends, shooting on and off for a two year period, with the young actors improvising almost all of their dialogue. And with that, let’s get into the finished film itself, shall we?

Los Angeles. The mid to late nineties. Everything is in black and white and super fuckin’ suave, because, again, it’s Los Angeles in the mid to late nineties. Jeremy Sisto is driving a pickup truck with leopard print seats. He kicks a hippie chick out of the passenger seat, mumbling something about “I need…pleasure. And…I need…to know that with…BRUTE FORCE, I got you out of my life, mmkay?” So, uh, right off the bat, um, that dialogue. Yikes, right? The hippie chick, for her part, gets very angry and yells, “You were supposed to take me to Vegas!” Don’t worry, we never find out why she was going to Vegas in the first place, or who Jeremy Sisto’s character is, because he then promptly drives out of the movie. Bye, Jeremy Sisto! Beep beep!

Cut to Tobey Maguire, who looks like he just finished going through puberty roughly five minutes before Robb called “action!” He’s got a dopey look on his face, and an unfortunate bowl cut/chin scruff combo that makes him look like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. He’s sitting in a moody mid to late nineties café, drinking a comically large cappuccino, and half paying attention to the absolute worst goddamn music I have ever heard in my life. The end credits describe this band as “acid jazz,” but I think a more accurate description would be “music to try and swallow your own tongue to.” It’s like a fiendishly unlistenable combination of free jazz, ska, Tom Waits hobo wailing, and beat poetry, and it should’ve been left back in the nineties where it belongs, alongside Olestra and the Kosovo war. Tobey is trying to pick up some ladies to bring to hang out with his friends later, but oddly enough none of these women want to hang out with an arrogant sad sack who has all the charisma and sex appeal of Uncle Joey from Full House. Meanwhile, there’s like a full-on burlesque dance number happening to accompany this zoot suit cacophony, and the director only occasionally cuts to it for a few seconds at a time. I guess, who needs to see a big splashy musical number when you can watch a comic relief wet blanket who just got his first pubes strike out with every woman he talks to, right? Luckily, the café waitress takes pity on him and agrees to accompany him to meet up with his friends, and then does basically nothing else for the rest of the movie. Occasionally the scene will cut to her to remind us that she’s there, but, like, is she really there, though?

Jenny Lewis from Rilo Kiley is sitting facing a dude who is showing his bare ass to the camera, because that’s how real fuckin’ life just is, maaaaan, not everyone always wears pants, dude! They apparently just had sex, even though she’s fully clothed, and they get into a philosophical argument about nothing and everything, as if they’re in the worst deleted scene from Slacker. Even though they clearly hate each other, the dude, Brad, invites Jenny Lewis to come meet up with his friends, and she makes some overly hostile joke about how he didn’t make her cum earlier, because low-budget indie movie. Next we see Kevin Connolly driving down the street in his Jeep, when he encounters the hippie girl from the beginning of the movie, like a couple of star-crossed blabbedy blahs. Finally, FINALLY, we’re introduced to Leo, when he borrows a comically large mid to late nineties cell phone from this little hood rat kid who insists on telling him some boring story about a brawl at the Viper Room even though Leo is CLEARLY trying to use said comically large mid to late nineties cell phone to call up every fine young female he knows to meet up with him and his friends. This makes the little hood rat kid very very angry, and its supposed to be funny, I guess? Anyway, like they were all fated since time immemorial to do, all of our leads finally converge down at the titular greasy spoon eatery, Don’s Plum.

Now, have you ever been at a restaurant, and you find yourself sitting near a table of people who are so obnoxious, so vapid, so relentlessly annoying and unpleasant, that you can no longer enjoy your food, and just find yourself eavesdropping on every improbably stupid thing that these goddamn condom leaks are rattling on about, slowly being pulled further and further into their vortex of suck? You have? Well, then, congratulations, because that experience is the rest of this fuckin’ movie. Jenny Lewis and Brad are the first to arrive, and what do they do? They start playing a goddamn harmonica. Um, no. Hell no. I’m trying to enjoy my meal in relative peace and quiet, you know what I don’t need? Your shitty ass John Popper impressions, ok? Get that shit all the way outta here. Then, just to really up the insufferability factor, Jenny Lewis starts opining about Bob Dylan, but she only calls him Bob, which, you can take that one away from here right away, and then launches into the following diatribe...

“You know what I’m so sick of though? All that fucking commercial grunge crap. It all sounds alike. It’s like the record companies that are promoting sterile music. I mean, I love Nirvana, don’t get me wrong, but they weren’t the Beatles.”

WOOF. Mercifully, Brad interrupts her to tell her that he loves her, even though it’s their like, first or second date. She’s reasonably creeped out by this, and just by how earnest and dark and brooding Brad is in general, until thankfully Tobey and the waitress show up, soon followed by Kevin and the hippie hitchhiker. Leo gets his own grand entrance, checking himself out in the reflection of an aquarium while some mid to late nineties boom bap hip hop blares on the soundtrack, natch. For the next hour or so, the group basically just chain smoke countless cigarettes (remember when restaurants had smoking sections?), harasses their waitress, Flo (hey, it’s a mid to late nineties indie movie, were they supposed to NOT name the waitress Flo?) and talk shit endlessly. They also say the word “bro” a lot. Like, a lot a lot. Like, way too much. The world’s most date rapey frat dude would tell them to relax with how much they say the word “bro.”

Suddenly, in between all of the cigarettes and “bros,” a morbidly obese lady walks past the table, and Leo mocks her for daring to be morbidly obese. The hippie hitchhiker takes umbrage with this, and Leo, charming guy that he is, calls her a “squatty piece of hippie shit cunt.” This escalates to the point where the hippie hitchhiker storms off, throwing her Birkenstocks at Leo, and then smashes Kevin’s windshield with a bat that she found…somewhere? Anyway, she’s out of the movie now, and replacing her is Jenny Lewis’s friend Constance, who they just happen to run into. So more bullshitting and chain smoking unfolds. Female masturbation is discussed, because mid to late nineties indie movie. They play Never Have I Ever, and Kevin doesn’t understand the rules, which is kinda endearing. They almost get into a fight with some creep in a mechanics outfit and Buddy Holly glasses. A horrible ska cover of the “Menomena” song from The Muppet Show pops up for a minute of your life that you’ll never get back. Leo sends the group into more turmoil when he outs Brad as bisexual and gives Tobey shit for being vegan. He also gropes Jenny Lewis’s breasts countless times, but no one seems to mind. They all fight about this for awhile, but eventually apologies are offered and they’re bros once again. However, upon learning that Brad is into both girls and guys, Jenny Lewis begins freaking out about AIDS, because ugggh. Then she and Constance start making out for absolutely no reason other than mid to late nineties indie movie. At one point, the film fades out for no reason, and then fades up again on the exact same scene just in time to hear one of the ladies ask the table, “do you guys bathe every day and, like, wash yourself with soap?” Meanwhile, the film will occasionally cut to short vignettes of the characters each saying non-sequiturs into the restroom mirror. Why? Again, because mid to late nineties indie movie. DUH.

The absolute weirdest scene occurs when Kevin Connolly notices a lady producer whom he auditioned for the previous week. He calls her “Spielberg with a pussy,” because of course he does, what else would he call her? The rest of the table convinces him to go talk to her. To both our surprise and his, when he tentatively approaches her at the bar, she’s like, Oh my god, Kevin Connolly! It’s so good to see you! I’m sorry you didn’t get that part you auditioned for, but get this, I was just watching your tape again the other day, and I want to cast you in the lead in this other movie that I’m doing! Not only that, I have to admit, I find you and your Cub Scout haircut and thrift store bowling shirt to be super fucking sexy, and later on tonight I wanna fuck your brains out so hard, so take my number and call me, hot stuff.

WHAT?!?! Like, is this supposed to be a fantasy sequence? Is it? If it is, you have to tell me, movie! Shellshocked and erect, Kevin returns to the table and recounts the whole thing, including the line “bro, it was crazy, bro! She was on my dick so hard!” Leo, meanwhile, is wearing some fake redneck dentures, talking in an exaggerated Southern accent, and eating his own boogers. This is all real, you guys, I promise.

Anyway, some more shit happens, and everyone is yapping about some stupid, possibly offensive nonsense when suddenly a lady at the next table over slaps the guy that she’s with. Hard. Slaps him really hard. Our heroes get quiet for less than a second, before remarking on the slap that just took place. Holy shit bro, that bitch slapped that guy so hard bro, bro bro bro bro, etc. When things get back to normal, Leo is suddenly quiet and sullen. Kevin notices, and tries to coax it out of him the best way he knows how, which is by asking, “you fuckin’ thinkin’ about something, bro?” Leo starts giving all of these cagey, mysterious non-answers, and before long everyone at the table wants to know if he’s fuckin’ thinkin’ about something, bro. Leo takes a deep drag off of his cigarette, and tells everyone, “my dad committed suicide bro.”

WHAAAT?!?! I’ve gotta say, I honestly did not see this coming. In a mood, Leo storms off for the back bar. Jenny Lewis follows him, and tries to make him feel better by relating her OWN familial sob story: “My dad is gone. And my mom is a junkie. She sells her ass on the corner.”

WHAAAAAAT?!?! All of these sudden dollops of soap opera drama, man! Good gravy. For whatever reason, this turns Leo on, and he tries to bang her. She rebuffs his advances, and they get into an overwrought screaming match that plays out like a Level One improv exercise at the world’s shittiest acting school. Meanwhile, back at the table, Tobey gets mad at Kevin for pushing Leo to reveal the truth about his dead dad, and this escalates into a full on fist fight! BRO!

Now, holy shit, you guys, the last five minutes of this movie. Jenny Lewis runs into the bathroom, and begins lamenting into the mirror about how she let a “perfectly good fuck” get away. As she’s saying all this, she pulls some tinfoil, a straw and a lighter out of her purse and just straight up starts FREEBASING CRACK COCAINE.

WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?! Kinda makes all that AIDS talk seem kinda hollow, huh? Then, oh my god, she starts crying and launches into this fucking after school special monologue, screaming into the mirror about how “I was the one that came on to Uncle Jerry! I was the one that was curious!”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?! Excuse me, waitress, but it seems you got drug abuse and child molestation in my mid to late nineties indie movie! What is ANY OF THAT doing in here?! And in the last five goddamn minutes of the movie, no less! So now Tobey and Kevin’s bro fight has spilled out onto the street, so Leo goes and breaks it up, he and Kevin do a very intricate secret bro handshake, everyone has a good laugh, Brad lights Kevin’s bowling shirt on fire, everyone goes prancing down the street, and the movie ends.

Now, imagine that you’re Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire. It’s late 1997, or possibly early 1998. One of you is now the biggest movie star on the planet, thanks to a movie about a big-ass boat. You’ve just seen this Don’s Plum movie that your little buddy R.D. Robb made. First of all, it’s a full-length fucking movie, not a short like you both thought it would be. Second of all, both of you are in there saying terrible things about women, doing terrible things to women, and oh shit, the majority of your fans…wait for it…are women! Bro! But worst of all, our little buddy R.D. Robb, who we thought was our friend, our fellow Pussy Posse member, our BRO, is shopping this fucking movie around to distributors? This fucking movie that could possibly end our careers if anyone ever sees it? Tell me, if you were Leonardo DiCaprio and Tobey Maguire in late 1997 or early 1998, would you do everything in your power to make sure that Don’s Plum never saw the light of day?

Well, according to a lawsuit filed in 1998 by one of the film’s producers, David Stutman, that’s exactly what Leo and Tobey did. Interestingly enough, according to court documents, apparently it was Tobey who was more concerned with how his performance in the film would negatively affect his nascent stardom, and therefore enlisted his much more famous best friend to help him carry out “a fraudulent and coercive campaign to prevent the release of the film.” I mean, Leo comes off as WAY more of an asshole than Tobey, who mainly just mopes around and eventually bro fights with Kevin Connolly, but in any case, both parties eventually reached a settlement in which Stutman agreed that Don’s Plum would not be released in the U.S. or Canada. It premiered at the Berlin Film Festival on February 10, 2001, and quickly faded into Hollywood lore.

Every few years, talk of this wild, black and white, mostly improvised movie with some big celebrities before they got famous will pop up again. Most recently, back in early 2016, another of the film’s producers, Dale Wheatley, uploaded the film to Vimeo and posted it to his website, freedonsplum.com, where anyone could watch it for free. Within days, Leo and Tobey’s respective legal teams had the video removed. You would think that after more than twenty years, with Leo now a respected Oscar winner, and Tobey having brought Spider-Man to life on the big screen, they’d be willing to let bygones be bygones. But it seems that they’re still legitimately concerned that they would stand to lose their vaunted place amongst the Hollywood elite if North American audiences ever got to see Don’s Plum. They still fear it. They still think it’s dangerous. In reality, it’s just embarrassing, which isn’t the same thing.

Truth is, there are a million movies out there just like Don’s Plum. There are a million other overly earnest, needlessly vulgar, navel-gazing indie movies made by overly earnest, needlessly vulgar, navel-gazing young people about the lives of overly earnest, needlessly vulgar, navel-gazing young people out there. I mean, I went to film school, fer chrissakes, I can say with some level of authority that Don’s Plum is the sort of project that my classmates and I poured our hearts and souls Into, only to be embarrassed by its messy, guileless sincerity later. The only thing that distinguishes Don’s Plum from the horde of other cringeworthy embryonic efforts like it is, as I said before, its status as cinematic forbidden fruit. Will its two stars ever allow the audience that it was made for to have a taste? Somehow I doubt it, bro.

[sarroora]

Here is the link to OffQuest’s podcast episode 6, interviewing Emara’s director, Fatma Elmeheiri. This podcast was uploaded on May 18th, around the time the first episode hit YouTube about 6 weeks ago.

The interview is in Arabic (what were you guys inhaling at the start of the podcast what’s going on over there and can I have someXD), so read below for some fun highlights:

Fatma: “I learned that you need to be good at storyboarding if you eventually want to be a animated series director. You don’t have to be a great animator to be a director. My biggest problem in animation was that my timing was always off. I tried and I tried but I couldn’t do it well enough. My teacher at the academy advised me to focus on storyboarding and directing instead.”

“Our studios (in the Emirates) are very small, so you have to do several jobs. I had to be both the director AND the manager, which was very draining.”

Although Emara is a mini-series, Fatma admits she severely overestimated what she and the team could do, especially since the team is so small

“You could put the most elaborate plan in the world - you’ll still face a lot of problems during production. You have to deal with them.”

“School was so much easier than this.”

In early development, Dhabian was going to be the series protagonist, but of course that later changed

“If he were the main character, I feel he wouldn’t be as liked. He’s likeable as the deuteragonist.” The interviewer agrees with this, saying that deuteragonists have a lot of charm because they’re more unpredictable than the protagonists, and have their own minds and agenda that the viewers might find unclear till much later

Interviewer: “Will Dhabian ever get his own spin-off series..?” Fatma: “Who knows? Maybe.”

“Comics would be more likely, since animation is so expensive.”

Fatma doesn’t go into details, but she wanted to put the series on YouTube for a while; it seems that big networks’ politics were just too much for her and her small team’s peace of mind and resources

Large networks are implied to not be passionate about animated series (I don’t find this surprising at all). They’ll pay millions for local live action dramas and imported foreign series, but not for cartoons

It’s also apparently extremely hard for young creators to pitch their work to any network, period. The bureaucracy is mind-numbing and it seems the people able to do anything are stars and people who are famous and/or well-connected and wealthy

Apparently one network wanted to air the series for free?!1?!? The heck is wrong with people O_O This is the whole “do it for exposure” crap again

Finally they found a network that wasn’t shady or trying to take their work without credit, and helped them put up Emara online on YouTube and promote it

“There’s no point in airing the series on a network that doesn’t care about it after all, and wouldn’t market it to people who could care about it.”

Fatma had so many things she wanted to show in Emara, but it just wasn’t possible. She says she had to learn to let it go, and her Art Director Ahmed helped her with that

Dhabian - as a proposed superhero name - received a lot of mixed reviews when his name was first suggested during pre-production. Several members on the creative team are non-Emirati Middle Easterners (Lebanese, Syrians, Egyptians, etc.) and that word makes no sense in their own languages, so they didn’t know what to do with it. But she stuck with it, and wanted a name that also isn’t hard to pronounce in English

Both the names of Emara and Dhabian are references to UAE geography

Fatma went with the name Moza even though it’s such a common Emirati name. Fatma says the foreigners on the creative team thought nothing of it, but the Middle Easterners were hella confused. Because Moza in Egyptian and pretty much every other language in the region means ‘Banana’. However in Emirati, Moza is a kind of pearl

Emara’s outfit is inspired by the colors of the flag

Maitha is a mix of Fatma’s mother and paternal aunt’s personalities

Fatma is credited with creating the designs and looks of Emara, Dhabian, and Maitha. Art Director Ahmed Beyrouti designed other characters in the series

The interviewer asks her if Emara’s outfit is in anyway related to the police force’s outfit because there are some similarities. She doesn’t wanna answer that so he thinks it’s probably a spoiler

The interviewer is impressed at how Dhabian’s design (heavily inspired by traditional men’s garb in UAE) can actually look practical as a superhero outfit, down to the ghutra. No one in real life can fight wearing that stuff 

She loves the art styles of Rebecca Sugar and Natasha Allegri, and both inspire her as women in animation

The reason the lip syncing in particular HAD to be animated to the English script and not the Informal Arabic one is because several of the animators don’t know Arabic. The lip syncing and facial expressions would’ve been completely off

Fatma says it’s highly unrealistic for the series to have only Emirati peeps since the country is a metropolitan with a huge expat population, and so she wanted to reflect that

She intentionally didn’t want every character in the series to be Emirati, because that would’ve bored her. That’s why we see many ethnicities in the background characters (and have a Lebanese and an Egyptian as speaking roles and antagonists, hopefully there’ll be even more characters the future)

She’s weirded out by how Dhabian seems to be more popular among fans than Emara when she appears a lot more oftenXD “Because he’s cool and a badass, that’s why” the interviewer answers herXD

The interviewer is loving on all the Studio Trigger homages and inspirations (thanks to Ahmed Beyrouti)

The 2 episodes Fatma storyboarded herself ended up being deleted because they had neither the money nor the funds. On her twitter, she also mentions one episode would have been about Dhabian’s past, but that was deleted too

Someone asks her what is the one thing she learned during her work, and she replies: “Knowing how to improvise.”

Her favorite people to work with were the voice actors, composer, and art director

She sadly laments that producing quality animation in UAE and the Middle East in general is so difficult, so expensive, and the environment is so harsh and unsupportive of animators that’s it’s easier to go animate in another country

A fan sends her a question asking why she decided to create Emara, and Fatma says she wanted to create a girl she wished existed when she was a child. Because there weren’t much, and a character such as Disney’s Jasmine is so hilariously unrealistic to Middle Eastern girls no one could relate to her. She’s more of a mythical creature

“Guys, do you remember Cow and Chicken, when we were kids?” “Ugh, I remember that, it was so weird, so bizarre!”

Aww, she had my Neighbor Totoro on video cassette

Fatma: “I was so terrified by Princess Mononoke I buried the DVD out in our yard.” Interviewer: “What the heck…”

(Ok, I have no idea how this segway happened, but the conversation suddenly shifted to tips on finding Halal food places in Japan among other things XD)

[mymyfangirlsidedontlie]

My favorite thing about doing theater throughout all my years is that no one could ever talk shit about me or spread rumors because I was so nice to people that no one ever believed them or I cleared it up so fast it never caused any harm

Legit one time I was in High School Musical and there were these two sister’s whom I had been doing theater with for a while at that point. They did not like me at all which idc anymore they had their own problems with me so whatever. These two girls would sometimes try and cause problems for me because they wanted me gone or they wanted to make sure I didn’t get roles. That’s fine, I’m a hard worker, I’d get roles anyway. Anyway during one of the shows the actor who played Ryan got injured and couldn’t go on. So the actress who played Sharpay dead ass did a whole act by herself. She improvised lines and scenes, sang songs on her own, and even did two person dances by herself. She was incredible!!! I made sure I let her know that, I probably gushed to her for five minutes about how amazing she was. After that she gave me some tips for sore throats because I was a little sick and we went our separate ways that night. Honestly one of the best highlights of my life because she was a cool kid and she genuinely thought I was cool and sweet. Amazing.

Anyway fast forward to the next day. I walk downstairs and my mom has a weird expression on her face. When I asked her what was going on she said that apparently the actress who played Sharpay had been found crying in the bathroom because she thought I’d said some awful things about her (she didn’t deserve that role, I could’ve done better, I’m way better then her, she only got it cause she’s the directors daughter, etc.) which baffled me. I had never said anything along those lines ever. Even though I’d wanted that role, when she got it, I immediately congratulated her and told her she’d rock it and left it at that. I had never talked shit! But I of course being the worried person I am, asked to call her immediately to make sure she was okay. I wasn’t about to let her go on thinking she didn’t deserve her role, because she did. I called her and asked her if she was okay and apologized for what she had apparently heard and she just,,, sat there for a moment and then asked what on earth I was talking about. She didn’t remember that happening either. So I double check to make sure she’s okay, and then hang up the phone.

Turns out that the two girls had started the rumor in hopes to get me kicked out (you can get kicked out for stuff like that) but their plan failed disastrously because I actually went out of my way to make sure that the actress was okay and that everything was cleared up.

I’m very proud of myself for that. Honestly I think it’s also hilarious because if they were gonna spread a rumor they should’ve at least gotten the other person involved in on it but NOPE! Both of us were clueless and we’re still friends to this day.

[iraniq]

Muse

http://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/164892090712/my-new-idea-because-i-hate-you

It started with this and it’s a story now!

*********************************************************

It was the first day of the Spring, I was peacefully eating my ice cream, opening the to-be-hot-season. My phone rang, it was my boss:

-        It’s my day off.

-        I know, daring …

-        My first day off in 2 years, I am sure, some of your other assistants can do it for you!

-        I need something …

-        Call them! – I was about to hang up.

-        It is about the Autumn.

-        What, it’s about the Autumn?

-        The movie, I am going to film.

-        You are gonna film  a movie? How come we don’t know?

-        You know I keep these things private!

-        Even from us?

-        Well, darling, I am telling you now, aren’t I?

-        Ugh … what is it?

-        I want you to play in!

-        In ... like in the movie?

-        Yes!

-        With whom?

-        A very nice and charming person … whom you will meet at the beginning of the filming. Bye!

He hang up … ugh, this man. He is as mysterious as he is brilliant. It turns out I’m promoted … form assistant to an actress, great!

I was one of the 3 main assistants of Mr. Ebenezer Kruger, the best film director alive.

He started directing at the young age of 27, and by now he was one of the top. He had his policy of filming: complete secret, no scenario, besides a frim idea of what will happen in the scene, and 20 people max, including the actors, who weren’t more than 3 people. Cameras were always working even when we weren’t filming officially, even in the breaks, because something unexpected may occur, that will fit in the movie.

I met my so called co-star at the set. The only thing I managed to see of him was a pink beanie, a fluffy beard and a very bright blue eyes, they looked kinda gray on the light. He was having a friendly conversation with Kruger; it looks like they know each other. As a former assistant of his I thought I know all the people he knows, apparently I was wrong. He must be someone important, tho, Diego, the assistant in charge, rescheduled some plans so they can fit in the fluffy boy’s schedule. As he acknowledged my presence he smiled brightly and came to me.

-        Hi, I am …

-        No names before the movie! – I stated proudly.

-        Oh, right … - he took back the hand he offered me to shake. – I am waiting forward to … be … you know.

He smiled, I couldn’t see if he was blushing, because his face was hidden in this huge bush, but he definitely looked like he was shy. This happened around 3 days before the start of the filming. Kruger wants us to have couple of days to get used with the situation around us. We were in a huge mansion, 3 floors and space enough for the population of a small country.

I had one more day till the shooting starts, so I decided to have a walk in the morning. Around 14 o’clock I was still in the city nearby, having a walk in the park. My phone rang. Unknown number.

-        Hello?

-        Hi … I am calling on your resume.

-        My resume?

-        Yes, about the offer you send me!

-        What? – “wtf with the freaks lately?”.

-        I want to see you tomorrow night. At my place. My assistant will send you the details. Wear cute underwear.

He hung up. “What? … NO! …”, I hurry to dial my assistant.

-        Hey … Paris, did … did he just, call me? In front of everyone …

-        Yes, they are both crazy now, him and Kruger!

-        Shit … he said I should wear cute underwear.

-        Yeah … about that … you will get naked in front of him.

-        I’ll what? Are you nuts, I don’t even know his name … Damn it … don’t make me scream here, people will think I am some kind of slut. Ugh …

-        Better buy yourself something cool, they will start tomorrow … I think.

-        You think … what’s the chance to film tonight?

-        I don’t know, just, be ready.

I went back to the mansion. I hurry in my room. Took a shower, and got message from Kruger: “One hour”. “Great! … “

I was ready, all clothes on! A long dark coat above them. “You can do this, you can do this!!”, I mumble to myself!

-        Nervous much? – my assistant asked.

-        What do you think?!? I am supposed to get naked in front of him … and he will do God knows what, as we are in pure improvisation here … what if he askes me to do something … or he wants to do something on me?

-        You are worrying too much.

-        Wanna change places, London?

-        Ha, I wish! Breathe, he is a nice guy, just … plays it creepy.

-        That’s what bothers me, he is very creepy. – we heard the director’s assistant calling for us. 

We set our places. He was on his desk, his shirt was slightly unbuttoned, his hair was slicked back, perfectly shaved, and with this creepy grin, staring at me, with these damn eyes. I suddenly felt cold, although it was hot enough in the room.

-        ACTION! - the director yelled. I knew I am abou to meet the monster again. I walked towards his desk.

“Stop!”- he ordered me. Me body froze. “Nervous much?” - I only nod my head. - “Strip!”- he ordered. I knew this was gonna happen at some point, but I hoped I will have the time to chill. I did as I was ordered. Took my coat on the chair. Unbuttoned my pants, and let them fall off me, toss my shirt on the chair too. I was wearing black lingerie underwear. He only licked his lips, and exposed his chest even more. The hunger in his eyes … I had to look away, otherwise I was gonna scream to the director to stop the shooting. I felt dirty! “Take your panties off!” - his voice was so low I barely managed to hear him. “Is he for real?”, I thought, to myself; my whole body was shaking now, and I am sure it was visible for the others too, at this point. I obayed this order as well. He lifted himself a little bit from the chair to observe me, he is now staring at me. “Tasty!”, he signals me to throw him my underwear, while he was slipping his hand down on himself.

-        CUT! –

“Oh Heavens, it’s over!” - in my head I begged that we take a break; we were still at the same positions.

-        You can move, it’s fine. It was actually perfect. I am so glad. You really look scared!” - the director pointed at me.

My assistant took me something to cover myself, I was barely standing still; she rubbed my back.

-        It’s fine, it’s over!- she whispered.

-        For now …

He stood up from his chair. Coming our way, he offered me my panties back.

-        They are cute … I am sorry I have to be this scary. - he said then left.

We took 20 min break, I was still … mostly naked, covered with whatever Paris gave me, drinking hot cocoa, it was late and cold. I was standing, spying on the cameras, where they re-watch our first scene. I was so focused that I did not hear anyone behind me, and when I felt his hand on my shoulder, I screamed and jumped, spilling my drink all over me.

-        Hey … - his voice was warm. – Sorry I didn’t meant to scare you.

-        No, it’s fine, I didn’t hear you coming.

-        Anything interesting?

His hand was squeezing the back of my neck, not harsh, it was gentle actually, but he was so creepy … yesterday … I am sure, although Paris assured me, but I could swear I saw him spying on me while I was in the shower, he is always stalking me, with this look, like he owns me; his eyes … the hunger of a lion, it makes me feel uncomfortable, like I am his slut for real … it’s a nasty feeling and he acts like it’s nothing. On the top of this, I just got almost naked in front of a stranger, and he is acting as we do this every day. I couldn’t stand it and moved myself.

-        What? – he looked surprised I moved away from him.

-        I … um, didn’t slept so good and it hurts.

-        Let me fix it for you! – “bravo, you are officially screwed!”

He started massaging my shoulders. It felt horrible. His skin was so gentle. Some of the girls from the crew smiled passing by him. Who the hell is this person.

-        We are ready to go! Come on, here, darlings, on the bed.

I was now sitting on the bed, almost naked, he was too, he took his shirt off. He was lucky enough tho, to keep his underwear … ugh.

-        ACTION!

He was lying on the bed, covered in a silk sheet, so it will look like he is naked, although it was my naked ass shining at the camera. “Focus, focus. It’s just this one shot.”. I crawled on the top of him, my hair was falling all over him, so he moved it aside. I just stood there, staring at him; he chuckled, realizing I have no idea what to do. He lifted up a little closer to me and brushed his nose at me. I smiled. It felt better, he cherished my tight and squeezed it. “Kiss me!”, I leaned closer and kissed his cheek, close to his lips, but just close. He laughed loudly and put his index finger in his lips – “Kiss me!”. I obeyed. He pointed at his heck, I kissed him again. Then he pointed his tattoo “altum” 

… I did it again. Then he pulled my hair and kissed me. He pushed me away, and pointed below his belly button. I was officially scared now. He frowned his eyebrows, I smiled nervously. He stood up on his elbows and tilted his head right, waiting for me … I swallowed hard, breathed out … shifter my position … “Screw this, ok!”, I moved a little low, he kept staring at me with this look, “Come one, do it, good girl!”, this low voice of his. I could see through the sheets he was … Before I know it, I swing my hand and slapped him, right through the face, so hard he shifter underneath me … “Improvise on this!”, I yelled at him.

-        CUT! … What are you doing darling?

-        Definitely not what I am paid for. I am not gonna do … this – I pointed at him, the man was still lying in the bed, with a hand on his cheek, shocked with opened mouth, and surprised look. – in front of everyone! – while I was saying this I realized, there were only 3 people there, besides us 2 – Kruger, the camera guy and my assistant, that played his assistant in the movie. I just realized I have no panties, and covered myself. Paris hurried to throw me something to cover. I run away to my room, and locked the door.

I know I am supposed to play the whore of an artist, who wants to try everything in life before he dies, but this was beyond everything now … I didn’t even know who he was … and he made me do this … Kruger knows I am not that kind of a girl … Jeez … why do I agree … yes, because I would’ve been on the other side of the camera … I heard a nod on my door.

-        Hey … it’s me … – a sad voice said.

-        Go away! – I almost cried.

-        Listen … Kruger told me you know nothing, about the movie, the plot and … the stuff that will happen. Listen I am sorry I scared you, I thought you were just playing your part, I had no idea I freaked you out … please, forgive me … I  promise I’ll at least give you a hint on what will happen … Please don’t be afraid!

-        You can start with your name!

-        Jared.

__________________

@diyunho @rhina988 @nikkitasevoli @auntiemama1 @wolfgirl1074 @sookieblack12 @spillinginkwithlove @lady-grinning-soul-k @jayded-reality @lylabell2013 @larissaivanov @cadeathens @fanalityfiction @lostnorthofheaven @lovermrjoker @live-for-me-puddin

[ranwing]

Kadam Fic: All’s Faire In Love and War (1/1)

Title: All’s Faire In Love and War Pairing(s), Characters(s): Kadam, Kurt Hummel, Adam Crawford, Blaine Anderson, Original Characters Rating: PG13  Genre(s): slight canon divergence, major lol Klaine and Blaine (I mean this - am not at all nice to him here.  Parts: 1/1

Summary:  Taking a summer job at the New York Renaissance Faire provides some interesting opportunities for Kurt, both professionally and personally.

Read on AO3

This is something that I've had sitting on my hard drive for some time and wanted to share. It's an offshoot of my misspent youth as a Rennie and proud member of the International Wenches Guild at the NY Renaissance Faire at Sterling Forest (with the corset scars and compromising photos to prove it). Some of this is based on my real experiences in attending the faire and the friendships I made their with my fellow Rennies and the members of the cast.

It's a slight AU, where Kurt did not meet Adam at NYADA and they meet for the first time at the faire. It's a one parter now, but I may expand on it later. Ta!

Kurt turned to get a look at his reflection from the rear and had to admit that the leggings were doing wonderful things for his ass. Well, the leggings along with two semesters of brutal dance classes under the guidance of Cassandra July. That was more than enough to burn off the last of the puppy fat.

The entire costume was very flattering and showed off his toned physique nicely. The white shirt was loosely laced up the front and with the leather vest displayed the broadness of his shoulders and chest. His muscles had gotten considerably more defined with regular exercise and weapons training. The high leather boots brought attention to his long legs. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows so he could display the leather braces that emphasized his strong forearms.

“Hey Kurt, if you’re done admiring your gorgeous self, could you help lace me up?”

Kurt turned to see Nataly standing behind him, trying to hold the pieces of her corset to her chest so that she wasn’t totally exposed. She’d managed to get the corset loosely laced but was in danger of losing a piece or two.

“I’ve got you. Turn around,” he instructed. Nataly was playing a member of the queen’s court, and as such, her costume was a bit more complicated than most. The corset laced both along the sides and down the back and needed a second person to get the fit right. He’d gotten quite good at getting the ladies laced into their costumes since they’d started dress rehearsals and it was rare that he wasn’t approached by at least a few over them over the course of the day for corset adjustments. Apparently a corset could never truly be too tight, and if Kurt were a straight man, all that adjusting probably would be a lot of fun.

The young redhead smiled thankfully as she adjusted her substantial cleavage, her breasts displayed attractively by the tight-fitting garment. She gave a little shimmy to check the fit. “Thanks so much,” she said appreciatively. “They’re not going to move at all during the chess melee.”

“My pleasure,” Kurt insisted. “Let me know if you need me to tighten it later on.”

She gave him an appreciative peck on the cheek, leaving him to finish his own preparations.

This was going to be an interesting summer job, he thought as he put the finishing touches on his hair. When he saw the notice at NYADA that the Renaissance Faire was looking for actors for the summer season, especially those with weapons training, he jumped at the chance. The pay was more than he would earn at the diner and while the work would be hard and the conditions more rustic than he might prefer, it was still a professional acting job. He quickly signed up to audition and was pleasantly surprised to find that not only was he hired, but he had been cast in on of the major supporting roles and not just one of the atmosphere players.

He’d convinced Rachel to audition as well, hoping to cheer her up. She was still in the midst of an epic sulk over her failure to get the lead in Funny Girl, but was not exactly enthusiastic about the prospect of an acting job that was nowhere near Broadway. She ended up being offered a part as one of the wench singers but turned the job down because it wasn’t a prominent enough role for her. Kurt had tried to explain that because she’d never taken any of the stage combat classes, she couldn’t be offered any of the more significant parts because they all required some fighting, but she just turned him out and decided to take the summer off to mentally regroup.

Kurt thought that she was making a mistake. Sure, the faire wasn’t exactly the most important acting job around, but it was still a professional job. While some in the cast made their careers doing faires year round, there were quite a few performers in the cast who had extensive credits outside of the faire circuit and at least half the cast were professional, full time actors. Kurt would now have a professional credit to put on his CV, which was more than Rachel could claim at this stage.

And if wasn’t as if he wouldn’t have time to relax during the summer. Now that the season had officially kicked off, the cast had most of the week to themselves since the faire was only open on the weekends. A bus picked up the cast who lived in New York and drove them up to the faire grounds on Friday where they would have cast meetings and a chance to do a run through of the small changes to the shows they made from week to week. There was a campsite for them to stay at over the weekend, with a decent shower facility and his meals were provided. All Kurt had needed was a tent and sleeping bag.

So maybe the lodging options were a bit more rustic than he’d normally prefer, as he hadn’t slept in a tent since his ill-fated three months as a Cub Scout. But it wasn’t totally awful. He had bought himself a decent tent and a good mattress pad, so he was relatively comfortable. The shower were more than decent and kept surprisingly clean, and he didn’t have to walk too far for a flushing toilet. It could have been far, far worse.

And he actually enjoyed staying with the rest of the cast. They were a fun loving bunch and once the faire closed for the evening, they got to cut loose and really have a good time. Their nights were either spent at a local faire-friendly bar in town, or sitting around the bonfire at the campgrounds, singing and telling stories. He was already making friends and was looking forward to the rest of the season.

“Kurt!”

Except for that. Kurt had very much hoped that Blaine would decide to join Rachel and use the summer to relax, but his ex-fiancé had decided to audition too. Much to Blaine’s chagrin, his acting and stage combat skills were not strong enough to warrant a major role in the cast, and he’d been hired to play a wandering troubadour. His job was to walk about, flirt with the girls and sing romantic songs, which as far as Kurt was concerned was right up Blaine’s alley.

And Blaine’s costume was as much an eyesore as his normal attire could be. With the bright yellow hose, red doublet and a hat with an enormous (albeit slightly scraggly) plume, he reminded Kurt of a half-plucked rooster. He carried a mandolin, which was enough like a guitar that he could strum out a simple tune while he sang.

“What’s wrong Blaine?” Kurt asked as he adjusted the belt on his costume and looked in the mirror again. It needed a little something… maybe he’d pick up that necklace he saw one of the venders selling later on. Just to add a bit of flair.

“I was thinking… that bit before the chess game… I was wondering if I should come out onto the field and maybe try to serenade one of the princesses. And maybe try to comfort her during the match. Do you think that would work?”

Blaine trying to expand his role came as absolutely no surprise to Kurt. His showboat of an ex was never going to be content to be a background player while Kurt would be at the center of the action. It had been a source of frustration to the assistant director, who spent way too much of her time trying to corral Blaine’s flights of fancy.

“No, because once we’re all on the field, we have to focus on the show,” Kurt reminded him tersely. “There are going to be a lot of weapons flying around and it’s not safe. Besides… aren’t you supposed to be by the Kissing Bridge while the game is on?”

“But there’s no one down there but little kids,” Blaine complained. “Everyone is going to be at the chess game.”

“Blaine… it’s only our second weekend of faire. Can’t we just do what we’re supposed to without improvising for a little while?” Kurt asked. His eyes narrowed when he saw something amiss with Blaine’s hair. “Are you wearing hair gel?”

His ex shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. “Just a little bit.”

“Blaine, you know that we’re supposed to look like we’re from the middle ages. You should wash that crap out before Renee sees you.” The costuming director had already warned Blaine twice about his anachronistic hairstyle and had threatened to wash it out herself in the horse trough if she saw his hair slicked back again.

“But it looks awful without the gel,” Blaine whined. “You know how sensitive I am about it.”

Of course Kurt knew. Because Blaine complained endlessly whenever confronted about it. And Kurt had thrown out multiple sets of perfectly good bed linens after breaking up with Blaine because he couldn’t get the stains out of the pillow cases. Blaine had insisted on even wearing gel to sleep, which was a major bone of contention between them.

“Blaine, what do you want from me? If you get fired because you can’t follow instructions, that’s not my problem,” Kurt said dismissively. He was tired of trying to keep Blaine from going off the rails when he had his own job to focus on. “You should get out to the gates to work the crowd and let me finish getting ready.”

He turned away and hurried over to the prop room to pick up his assigned weapons. The prop master handed him a rather impressive looking medieval sword and matching dagger that were a lot nicer than the practice weapons he’d been using. Once the scabbard was belted on, he was no longer Kurt Hummel, NYADA student. He was now Beau, second in command to the Sheriff of Nottingham’s guards.

He rather liked this character and was enjoying the opportunity to play a villain. On paper, Beau was the pretty boy nephew of the Sheriff and it was being broadly implied that he got his job based on nepotism. But Kurt and Ben, the actor playing the Sheriff, had been playing around a bit with dialogue and by the end of the day, Beau would be seen as a lot smarter and more dangerous than he started out as. Kurt would be kept very busy over the course of the day with various shows that his character would be involved with, walking around the fair with the rest of the guards and harassing the other players and faire attendees, as well as the human chess game and grand melee at the joust.

Blaine’s character was sometimes on the receiving end of that harassment, and Kurt could tell that his ex hated it. He seemed to be having a problem in recognizing that this was strictly within the confines of their roles and was still nursing a stung ego about the role he was given. Kurt’s sympathy was… well, pretty non-existent. If he could play Officer Krupke with some semblance of dignity and grace, then Blaine could play a minstrel while Kurt got a chance with a bigger role for once.

It was getting close to the gate opening time and Kurt went to join Ben and the rest of the guards at the top of the hill where they could see the crowd already waiting. It looked to be a good sized number, and there were quite a few wearing costumes easily as realistic as worn by the cast. He’d already learned that the “rennies” (as they called themselves) often came every day during the season and were deeply invested with the faire. They knew all the shows well and most were more than willing to help out and loved to be pulled into the fun.

Blaine and a few other minor characters were already working the crowd, his ex-fiancé flirting with a few young women dressed as wenches, singing to them to maudlin ballad of love and they seemed torn between being flattered and laughing outright. It was cheesy, but in a rather fun way. Kurt didn’t know why Blaine was so resentful over his part, as it gave him license to be as over the top as he wanted and interact closely with his audience.

He watched as the actors playing Robin Hood and his band took over the entrance gate to warn the crowd about the nefarious sheriff and his henchmen, and couldn’t help from admiring the actor playing Will Scarlet. Adam, Kurt remembered his real name dreamily. Now that was a man who knew how to fill a pair of hose. Gorgeous, fit body, and actually British to boot. Just listening to him speak was enough to make Kurt’s toes curl.

They had gotten to know one another, at least on a professional level, during rehearsals and their interactions only heightened his interest in the older man even more. Adam was witty and funny and just a lot of fun to be around. He was exactly what Kurt could use to nurse his bruised heart after the ugly, seemingly never ending break up with Blaine.

But there was no time for daydreaming about making out on the Kissing Bridge with that beautiful piece of man. Or place, since Kurt’s leggings hid absolutely nothing and there was only so much his dance belt could contain. He needed to get his stage game on.

“Alright boys,” Ben commanded, now firmly in his headspace as Sheriff with a malicious glint in his dark eyes. “Everyone ready? Let’s go clear some rabble.”

Kurt felt his mouth curl into a lazy sneer and his eyes grew flinty as he slipped into character. Showtime.

* * *

The morning went smoothly, the cast having managed to work out most of the kinks the opening weekend. After the morning procession the guards followed the Sheriff around the shire, playing at keeping the peace when they seemed to spend most of the time kicking around whatever unfortunate shire residents they came across. Kurt was having a good time with his character, who played at being lazy and a bit dim despite being anything but.

The mid-day human chess game was always a highlight, with all of the major cast members involved and plenty of swordplay to excite the crowd. The audience took sides and more than a few made sure to sit on the side of the Sheriff’s team and were openly rooting for the bad guys. Kurt had found a few fans of his own, including several members of the Wenches Guild (local 69) who flirted playfully and called out to him. In fact, it seemed like most of the wenches from the Guild chose to sit on their side of the field, ready to cheer on their favorite villains. Both sides lead their fans in cheers, with those rooting for the villains yelling out “Blood makes the grass grow! Kill! Kill! Kill!” Kurt had a lot of fun egging them on now that he had gathered his own group of wench cheerleaders.

Ben was calling the plays for the villains in his role as Sheriff, while Robin Hood directed the heroes. Kurt sprawled lazily on the ground while he waited for his cue, letting the actress playing the wicked Lucrezia Borgia lean flirtatiously against him (partly to keep in character and partly because it took the strain off of her sitting on the ground so long bound in a tight corset). He was letting her press kisses on his neck, cooing in nonsense Italian while he played with her blond curls.

“Beau!” Ben yelled, coming up being Kurt to kick him and get his attention when he didn’t respond fast enough. “Stop fooling around and deal with this outlaw scum!” He grabbed Kurt by his collar and pulled him to his feet before shoving him out onto the dueling field. Awaiting him was gorgeous Adam with his sword drawn.

“So this is who you send to me?” Adam laughed. “I thought I would be fighting a guard and not a pretty, beardless boy.”

Kurt drew his sword and casually advanced on his handsome opponent. “Well, this should be easy,” he drawled.

“For me,” Adam retorted as they began to circle one another. “After all, the only reason you’re here is because your mother begged your uncle to give you a job.”

They launched into their duel, and Kurt was pleased that all his weapons practice was paying off. Adam had several years more experience with his kind of thing, but Kurt was more than holding is own with the complicated choreographed fight. It would certainly look impressive to the audience and it began to look as if the outlaw would win. Kurt followed their choreography and let Adam continue his advance when he drew the dagger that he’d had sheathed on the back of his belt and got it pressed up against Adam’s throat.

“Not such a useless pretty boy now, am I?” Kurt snarled dragging the tip of the blade up Adam’s chin. “You’re finished.”

“Sherriff!” the actress playing the queen shouted. “Have your man stand down! We will have no blood spilled on this field today.”

Kurt gave Adam a cruel grin and pressed the tip of the dagger dangerously against Adam’s jaw before pulling back. He raised his fist in victory to a chorus of boos and cheers from the audience before turning to his place on the sidelines. The actress playing Lucrezia threw herself into his arms, kissing him soundly. It wasn’t much later that the whole game dissolved into a wild melee that would finally be broken up by the Queen, announcing that the battle would be decided at the royal joust at the end of the day.

Kurt picked himself off the ground where Adam had him pinned face down into the grass and followed the other guards off the field. Once out of sight of the audience, he checked the time and calculated that he had just enough time to grab something to eat before he was to join the rest of the guards for another patrol around the shire. Then they had the Trial and Punishment show where they held a mock tribunal and convicted faire attendees of absurd “crimes” before making a mad dash to the jousting field to close out the show.

Grateful for the chance to catch his breath and take a short break, he obtained a ploughman’s lunch from one of the concession stands and got his tankard filled with iced tea. He then made his way to the backstage area behind the jousting stand to eat and cool off. Several other members of the cast were already there and he nodded to his friends before digging into his meal.

“That was a nice bit of swordplay earlier, Kurt,” a voice with a natural British accent that Kurt had become quite familiar with said. “You’re really talented for a first timer.”

He looked up and saw Adam standing over him. Nervously swallowing the mouthful of bread and cheese that he’d just bitten into, he nodded. “Thanks. You nearly caught me with that last parry, though. I almost lost my grip.”

“Nah… you had everything well in hand.” He gestured at the empty space on the bench next to Kurt. “Mind if I join you?”

“Of course,” Kurt said, moving his tankard so that the other actor would have plenty of room.

“Thanks. I’ve got about twenty minutes until my next set and if I don’t eat now, I’ll have nothing in my tank for the joust.”

Kurt eyed his choice of meal dubiously. “And a sausage on a stick is going to hold you over?”

Adam grinned and gave Kurt a saucy wink. “Well, I am a man who enjoys his meat,” he quipped, then took a large bite out of the rather phallic looking food item.

Kurt was again reminded that his leggings hid absolutely nothing and tried desperately to keep his mind off of anything inappropriate, but Adam was not making it easy.

Adam looked down at Kurt’s perfectly healthy lunch, then back up to his face. “I would have thought that you were more a meat eater as well.”

Kurt felt his cheeks starting to heat because he was definitely being flirted with. Giving Adam his most winning smile, he nodded. “Oh, I am. But I’m also partial to those frozen bananas that they’re selling. Something hard that I can suck on when things get too hot.”

The older man’s eyes darkened when he saw that Kurt was more than willing to flirt back with him. “Well, that’s a good fact to keep in mind. Because I’ve been trying to figure out a way to talk to you when we’re not rolling on the ground, acting like we’re trying to kill one another.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow flirtatiously. “Well, we could roll on the ground together for other reasons, but this is a family show.”

Adam laughed, taking another bite of his lunch. “Ah yes… ‘family shire’ as we keep being told. But seriously… I would like to have a chance to talk with you when we’re not working. Are you going to the bar tonight after the show?”

“Am I being invited?” Kurt asked teasingly.

Adam licked his lips and nodded. “I am inviting you.”

Kurt was about to agree to join him when he saw Blaine coming into the backstage area carrying an absolutely enormous roasted turkey leg and waving frantically at him.

“Oh crap,” Kurt groaned, wishing that he could crawl under the sod and hide from his ex.

“I’m sorry,” Adam said apologetically. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Kurt looked up at Adam and saw the distraught expression on the older man’s face. His half-eaten sausage even looked like it was losing its rigidity.

“Oh, it’s not you,” Kurt quickly assured his suitor, trying to control his excitement about Adam being his suitor in the first place. “It’s my ex who has some serious boundary issues.”

Adam looked at the outrageously dressed man coming in their direction and his jaw dropped slightly. “That’s your ex-boyfriend?”

“Ex-fiancé,” Kurt corrected. “Don’t judge… it was a strange period of my life that is over and done with. I just can’t seem to get the message through to him.”

“That’s good to know,” Adam said sympathetically. “Because I was starting to question your taste there for just a second.”

Kurt laughed ruefully and shook his head. “Like I said, it was a weird phase that I’m past.”

“Good,” Adam said agreeably. “I’ll see you after the show tonight.”

“Definitely,” Kurt assured him, trying to contain his excitement over Adam asking him out. He knew that hook ups among the cast were pretty common place, but this felt like it was something more. At least, he hoped it was.

Adam surprised Kurt by taking his hand and pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles that left Kurt all but tingling all over. “See you at the joust,” Adam said softly, giving Kurt a playful wink.

Blaine came trotting over, the feather in his cap flopping in his wake and saw the other man walking away. “Kurt, what was that all about?” he demanded, his brows furrowing in anger. “What were you talking about?”

Kurt looked up at his ex-fiancé and grinned widely. “He asked me out tonight after the show. On a date,” he clarified.

Blaine could only stare of him, his face getting as red as his costume. “A date! But Kurt, we’re…” he started, only to be quickly cut off.

“We’re nothing, Blaine,” Kurt snapped. “You just don’t learn, do you? We’re not dating and we’re sure as hell not friends. Not with the way you’ve been hounding me for months!

“Now I have been more than patient, but enough is enough. We may have to work together this summer, but you do not get a say in anything that I do. Is that understood?”

Blaine seemed shocked by the level of anger directed at him. “What is the matter with you?” he demanded, growing angry himself.

Blaine didn’t seem to care that all their dirty laundry that was about to be revealed to their cast mates, and for once, Kurt didn’t care. Blaine was about to get an earful and what their coworkers were going to learn wouldn’t make him look especially well.

“What is the matter with me? How about me being sick and tired of my cheating ex inserting himself into everything that I do? We’re not together anymore and I find it amazing that you spend a lot more time around me now than you did when we were actually a couple,” Kurt informed him sharply. “What’s the matter? You can’t find someone else to fuck? Because you never seemed to have that problem when we were together.”

“Kurt, it was one time…” Blaine started, but withered under Kurt’s harsh glare.

“One time that you admitted to,” Kurt agreed. “But do you think I’m stupid, Blaine? Do you think that I didn’t notice the odd phone calls or your sudden trip to the free clinic after we both tested clean? Why do you think I ended things with you? Because you are completely incapable of keeping your dick in your pants!”

Blaine’s face flushed nearly as red as his costume when he heart the muffled laughter of the other cast members that had heard Kurt’s rant. One of the wench singers seemed especially amused and began to trill, “A wandering penis I, a thing of thread and patches…”

Kurt knew at that instant that Blaine’s faire reputation had just been cemented and that he’d never escape the label of being an untrustworthy cheater by his own admission. He would have felt sorry had Blaine not made himself such an utter pain.

Utterly humiliated now that he had admitted in front of their cast mates that he had cheated on Kurt, Blaine stormed away, the ridiculous plume on his hat limp and betraying his embarrassment. Kurt huffed, glad that he might have finally gotten that things between them were over through Blaine’s thick, gel covered skull. And it felt refreshing to have admiring and sympathetic looks coming from their fellow actors were admiring and supportive towards him, rather than accusatory.

In the meantime… he had a show to focus on and a date in the evening to look forward to.