#apparently my love language is s c r o l l i n g to find old ask memes

[soaringsearingphoenix]

Valentine's Day Asks: The Prime Numbers

Wow! I dont know why i didnt see the notification for this one but ok, alright ah

1. do you have a crush on anyone?

I guess so? There are people who Stand Out to me and i call them crushes in my head sometimes but mostly I just want to be friends with them. Like I dont usually get dizzying sweeps of emotion for someone, physical or romantic, but I do get an urgent and baseless desire to hang out with them... maybe take a walk or invite them to get ice cream. So like if we’re on the same page about what I call a Crush on my emotional scale then yes. Theres a couple people.

2. what’s your favorite candy?

I like lemonheads and i will eat them until im sick of them if given half a chance. I also like snickers now because theres peanuts in it so i get to pretend im making a healthy choice

3. favorite love song?

Slow Boat To China, any version but specifically sung by Bette Midler and Barry Manilow. You know, like, just the corniest possible version? Partly for nostalgia, because it was one of like three CDs i remember my mom playing all the time when we were just kind of around the house when I was little. It also has the distinction of being the first duet I learned the words to (though as far as im aware none of my friends know the lyrics... i dont think ive ever actually sung it with someone) and it’s probably gotta be the one that gets stuck in my head the most. Right down to the dumb banter in the middle (“Bette, I didn’t know you felt that way about me.” “I don’t. I need a piano player.”)

I also like “Somewhere Beyond The Sea.” I think, as a general rule, that if there are boats in the words to a love song I will probably like it.

5. what was your last kiss like?

Meaningful

7. do you prefer poems or love letters?

Ahhhhhhhhhh to read or to write? I like writing poems because I think they’re... easier honestly? Writing is so hard, identifying your feelings is hard. Having some constraints makes writing easier, and a rhyme and cadence makes it flow. Besides, it’s more musical that way so I think for me it feels like a more natural expression of love. I do well with more structured expression, and not so much with making just raw, unrefined feelings known.

Not to say writing poetry is easy. It’s less difficult than a love letter, sure, but there are still potential pitfalls. If i make a metaphor that makes me think of science, the rest of the poem WILL be just an extension of the metaphor that gets more and more didactic until I’m just telling you science facts.

11. dinner dates or brunch dates?

Dinner dates. I decided that before i came up with a reason why. I think the reason is that an evening engagement means I have something to look forward to, or be nervous about but then i have time to mentally prepare myself. Whereas morning, even if it’s not “early” morning, I feel more stressed about getting there on time and then afterwards theres a whole rest of the day where i either have to get somewhere after, or its just this unstructured uncertainty. Dinner, youve already done the rest of the day, so you can be present without worrying about what you gotta get to after.

13. favorite perfume/cologne?

I... dont know that ive ever noticed a perfume or cologne and felt it was applied tastefully, because i think if it is insubtle it defeats the point. That said, if it’s actually well applied so that it’s less an overwhelming cloud that trails comically behind people you pass in the quad and more like when someone sits down right next to you om the couch and you get just a hint of their shampoo or conditioner, to the point where maybe you didnt even consciously notice it before but now you say “oh, you’re the reason ive been craving ice cream, you smell minty” if it was only that subtle then i think im generally fond of more smoky incense-y smells like sandalwood, or roses but i am picky about rose fragrances, so it has to actually smell just like fresh roses or i wont be able to overlook that the smell is not roses. I have this friend who went to my middle school, and we were very into scents and making potpourri and things. At the time, his grandma had a hand soap that smelled exactly like roses, it was delightful and he said as much and I said that it sounded amazing but I’d have to take his word for it, but then the next time he visited her he came back with a little jar of it for me just so i could smell it, and he was right, it smelled just like roses. Actually forget the roses, it will make me think of the hand soap and as lovely as that is I dont want to give anyone vying for my affection any reason to feel like they’re in competition with someone, or something. It’s not a competition. Learn to coexist with my memories, because you’re not going to fight my nostalgia and win.

17. what’s the most attractive thing a person could wear?

If you’re wearing something knit or embroidered that you made yourself Im definitely gonna want to talk to you. Also if you’re wearing really comfy looking cargo pants but thats probably because i want to know where you got them so i can get some for me.

19. snow, rain, or sun?

Sun because people will take a walk with me

23. what’s your dream wedding like?

Dont have one but if i did its in a forest or at least a grove of trees. Mostly small gathering, family and close friends. I have a dress for the vows i guess, just because ive seen a lot of Say Yes to the Dress so thats how ive generally pictured it, (which i only really do when im watching Say Yes to the Dress), but ive got comfortable shoes, and im gonna change into pants asap after. We probably do some corny thing thats kind of an inside joke. Each of us has a Best Man or equivalent, who carries a sword — we joke that this makes it a “traditional” wedding, though beyond that it’s really not meant to be. It’s mostly simple, though maybe have a little extravagance or two, like a chocolate fountain, because how often do you have an excuse to have a chocolate fountain. I tend to wander off from other peoples weddings somewhere in the middle, at some point i just get a little overstimulated, and the amount of people that will likely be invited makes this probable. At the reception, when the families and friends are singing and dancing, i probably quietly excuse myself to my spouse and drift away, finding a spot in a tree where i can still hear the music and the laughter from a distance. I am joined not long after by my spouse (and the thought is strange, and even then i cant quite wrap my mind around that word yet, the commitment it implies) who knows where to look for me, and who perhaps pulls a leaf or two from my hair as they join me on an adjacent branch. We sit quietly together for some time until it seems appropriate to rejoin the festivities, as it is our wedding after all, and the slow dance is coming up, and we will spend some quiet time later when everyone has gone home. It is nice, the dancing, and as tired as we are we still drift around the dance floor among loved ones long into the night.

I dont know if this is like... how i intend my wedding to be. Like i said i didnt have an answer going in. But now that im trying to imagine it, this feels realistic.

29. are you single?

Yup!

31. guitar or piano?

Piano. First of all because i am better at piano than guitar and second because you can do duets on one piano

37. do you like to dance?

Aw hell yeah!! I would call myself an... Inexperienced dancer, but if a song has a good rhythm or even if it doesnt and i am full of energy i WILL be moving and twisting and you ARE welcome to join me

41. favorite soda?

I usually go for lighter ones like orange or sprite. I found Lime fanta at a gas station once that tasted like green jello and it was good but ive only seen it maybe twice ever.

43. favorite ABBA song?

Gimme Gimme Gimme always gets me on my feet, and ive listened to it probably the most because it’s on my “Dates and Times Playlist” (the first line says ‘half past 12’ and then the chorus says ‘after midnight’ so its in with a collection of other midnight songs. Any time i hear any of the others i get this one in my head as well. Thatd just how it is.)

47. do you think about love a lot?

No

[writemywaytoyourheart]

Aim For The Heart Chapter 4: New and Old

Pairing: hitman!jk x female reader

Genre: E2L, romance, drama, angst

WC: 3.5k im sorry she’s short :(

Warnings for this chapter: strong language, jk is a lying sh*t, a knife is mentioned but not used, alcohol consumption

Tag list; @hopekookies @moonchild1 @barbellastyles98 @teresaisla @ggukkieland @mwitsmejk @scuzmunkie @sugaslittlekookies @jaebeomsblackgf @moon-asia  @yoonchrisgullwrites @armyhollander

summary; Jeon Jungkook is an infamous hitman, known for his inability to fail at whatever job is thrown his way. At least, up until now. Y/n, a kind-hearted and full of life teacher, is his newest target. Jeon isn’t sure who would put a hit on this seemingly innocent girl, but fortunately, that isn’t his problem. All he has to do is pull the trigger.

Previous → Next

"What made you want to be a teacher?" Jungkook asks as the two of you stroll over to a trashcan to throw away your trash. 

"I've j-just always loved working with k-kids," You say with a bright smile. "I guess I th-thought why not teach? Y-You know?" You look up at him and he nods.

You turn to look around you, then you get distracted and point to an ice cream stand, "Ohh, I'll b-buy us some ice cream."

Jungkook shrugs, "Sure." 

You do your little run over to the stand and Jungkook finds himself biting back a laugh. He catches himself though, why the hell are you laughing? She's trying to throw you off track. 

Jungkook hurries over when you wave to him.

Keep your head on straight, Jungkook.

"W-What kind would you like, J-Jungkook?" You ask sweetly, watching him with big eyes. 

Jungkook clears his throat and glances at the menu, "Uh, I'll take a scoop of mint chocolate chip." 

You walk up to the man at the stand, he smiles when he recognizes the girl that always stops by his stand for a scoop of ice cream. 

"Hello!" You say cheerfully and the man bows, "Hello again, missy! What can I get for you today?"

"Mm, c-can I please get one s-scoop of-" You turn back to Jungkook, "You sure y-you only want o-one scoop?" 

Jungkook nods and smiles, but again, the smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

You turn back and finish your order, "One s-scoop of mint chocolate ch-chip and two scoops of p-plain chocolate please."

The kind man nods and makes your order quickly, then you hand him your card. After he swipes it, he hands it back to you along with your two ice creams.

Before you can grab them though, Jungkook's arms wrap around from behind you and he snags them.

You feel your heartbeat increase and try to control your breathing. Jungkook is unaffected as he simply smiles at you and hands you your chocolate ice cream when you turn around. 

"Thank you," Jungkook says before taking a big bite. 

You smile, hoping your cheeks aren't as red as they feel, "Y-You're welcome."

You two continue on your walk, both of you eating your ice cream and making small conversation, then you take Jungkook by surprise when you suddenly speak up with a mouthful of ice cream and a very random question. 

"Do you w-want to have kids in the f-future?" You ask casually as if that isn't an intrusive question at all. 

Jungkook swallows the bite he had in his mouth, "Uh, I haven't really thought about it much. But, probably not."

"Why n-not?" You ask, very curious. 

Jungkook clears his throat awkwardly, "I don't know...I just-... I don't think I'm cut out to have kids."

Why the hell is he having this conversation with one of his targets?

If a few weeks ago he could see himself now, he'd disown his own self.

"I think y-you would make a g-great father." You say in a matter-of-fact tone, "I just h-have a feeling."

"Uh, thanks." Jungkook takes another bite of ice cream, he needs to get the attention off of himself and quick. "What about you?" He asks stupidly. 

"Oh, I want to h-have lots of k-kids." You say with a dreamy smile on your face, "I can't wait to be a m-mother."

Your words turn his stomach to rot as it twists inside of him. He looks down at his melting chocolate chip ice cream, a feeling he doesn't understand swirling inside him. He stares intently at the green blob in his cup, trying not to put too much thought into what you said. 

"D-Did I say something wrong?" You ask quietly when you realize how silent he's become. He looks at you and notices that you have chocolate around your mouth from your cold treat. 

Jungkook just shakes his head, "No, it isn't you." He mumbles as he looks away. 

You both finish your ice cream in silence as you walk down the path through the park. 

After you take your last bite, you walk over and toss your cup into a trashcan, Jungkook right behind you. 

"Now what should we do?" Jungkook asks you, trying to forget about the previous conversation. 

"Mm," You put your hand to your chin, your eyes squinting in thought, "Do y-you like to p-play games?"

Jungkook nods, "Yeah, sure."

"Ok!" Then you take off running, making Jungkook jog to keep up with you. Once you make it to the arcade you had gone to last week, you stop and turn to smile at Jungkook. 

"D-Does this look fun t-to you?" You ask hopefully. 

Jungkook nods again, then he moves to go inside. You follow him, but he doesn't hold the door open for you, so you have to catch it before it hits you. 

When you go in, you see Jungkook standing there waiting for you. "W-What do you want to p-play?" You ask awkwardly. This outing had started off good, but now you're starting to feel out of place around him and you don't like that feeling. 

Jungkook fakes a smile and shrugs, "I don't care."

"Um, o-ok." You look around the arcade before picking a game and heading over to it. You grab the little puck on the air hockey table and gesture for Jungkook to go to the other side. He moves over and gets into position. 

You hit the puck and he hits it back, immediately dodging your block as the puck slides right into the goal on your side. You huff out a breath in annoyance and glance up to see Jungkook smirking. 

Ok, it's on boy.

Then you smack the puck suddenly, catching Jungkook off guard as it hits the side of the air hockey table and skims past him before he can catch it. When it goes into the goal on his side, you see him look up at you in shock and you send him a smirk of your own.

"That was lucky," He scoffs. 

You nod innocently, "Oh y-yeah, probably."

Jungkook takes the puck and sets it on the table, faking a move before hitting it the other way. You block it effortlessly, sending it straight back to his side as he grunts in frustration. 

You two go at it for a few minutes, Jungkook hitting the puck furiously and you calmly blocking and sending it back. Eventually, Jungkook sighs and hangs his head when you've blocked his recent moves more than five times in a row.

You're tied on points and now neither of you are getting anywhere.

"W-Want to call it?" You ask, sensing his frustration. 

Jungkook purses his lips, his competitive nature wanting to do nothing but annihilate you in this blasted game. But alas, you're apparently a lot better at this game than he had anticipated. 

So, he sighs again and nods, "Yeah, let's call it a tie."

You walk around the table and stick your hand out to him. Jungkook hesitates, then he takes your hand. 

"T-Tie." You say while smiling, shaking his hand up and down. 

Jungkook grimaces, then pulls his hand back, "Ok, now what?"

"I picked th-the first game. N-Now, you have to p-pick." You say with a sneaky smile. 

Jungkook looks around the arcade, then he points to a game with two fake guns sitting in front of a large screen. "How about that one?"

You don't really like those types of games, but it's Jungkook's turn to pick and if that's what he wants to do, then you'll just go along with it. 

So, you nod and follow him over to it. 

Jungkook smiles to himself as he grabs one of the guns, there's no way she's gonna beat me at this one.

He looks over and sees you grab the other gun cautiously, it looks huge in your hands compared to him holding one. 

Jungkook bites back another less than kind laugh seeing the look of uncertainty on your face. "Ready?" He asks casually. 

You nod and heft the gun up, trying your best to keep it steady. 

The game starts and there's instantly a bunch of zombies on the screen. You aim and shoot as best you can, but you're barely hitting anything. 

But right next to you, Jungkook single-handedly takes out more than half the crowd in less than a minute. You manage to hit a few zombies before the game ends. At least you think you did.

KILL COUNT: 2

The words flash across your side of the screen in bold red letters. You look over at Jungkook's screen and gasp at the letters flashing on his side. 

KILL COUNT: 43

"Wow, y-you're really good at th-this game." You say in astonishment. 

Jungkook shrugs cockily, "That wasn't my best."

You nod absentmindedly, then you point at a claw machine in the middle of the arcade. "Oh, l-look!" You jump up and down in excitement. 

Jungkook sighs when you rush over to the pink claw machine full of stuffies and candy. You pay his annoyance no mind as you immediately start getting your money out to try and get the kitten stuffie.

"Look at it J-Jungkook, it's s-so cute!" You turn to him with a pout and the biggest puppy dog eyes he's ever seen. 

He tears his eyes away to look at the kitten stuffie sitting there, "Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're not gonna get that."

Your pout deepens, "R-Really?"

"Yeah, not in a million years." 

"Why n-not?" You huff, looking more and more like a disappointed child. 

Jungkook scoffs, "Those machines are designed to steal your money. You're not meant to have even a chance at getting the prize you want."

"Oh," You look crestfallen as you stare at the little kitten that seems to be looking back at you, pleading you to get it out of that stuffy old box and bring it home with you, "That's m-mean."

"That's just the way the world works," Jungkook says simply, hoping you'll give up and pick a different game, "Everything is about money."

"Not e-everything." You counter, finally peeling your eyes away from the little toy to look at him. 

Jungkook cocks an eyebrow but you continue anyway, "Not everyone d-does stuff for m-money. Some p-people care about other's f-feelings."

He laughs in disbelief, "If that's the way you see the world, you're in for a nasty surprise as you meet more people and see the real world." 

"If you always l-look at the world the way y-you do, you won't be v-very happy." You say back, then you turn on your heel and go off on a search for more games. 

Jungkook watches you in surprise, he didn't think you'd actually stand up for yourself and clap back with something like that. 

Huh.

Jungkook squints at you, the plan going through his head again before he hurries to catch up. 

_______________

"T-Today was fun. Th-Thank you, Jungkook."

You're standing at your front door, having just unlocked it. 

Jungkook nods, his lips pressed together before he says hesitantly, "We should hang out again sometime." 

You smile and nod, "I'd l-like that."

"Well, goodnight," Jungkook says quickly before turning and hurrying down the stairs. You watch him disappear behind the corner before turning and going inside. 

You set your bag down and yawn, stretching your arms above your head. You stretch a little more before moving to your room to get dressed for bed. Pulling out one of your nightgowns, you make quick work of changing into it. Then you go to the bathroom to do your nighttime routine. 

By the time you're climbing into bed, your eyelids feel like they're being weighed down by a ton of bricks. 

You pull the covers up to your chin, cuddling into the warmth of your comforter. The giant octopus stuffie next to you is quickly pulled into your side as you wrap your legs around it and squeeze it tightly. 

"Mm, goodnight." You whisper to it before you slip into a deep slumber.

______________

Jungkook drags himself up the stairs to his apartment, his feet killing him. The target dragged him around half the city and the entire arcade today, and he's gonna have to do it all over again until he can earn her full trust. 

Never again will he underestimate the simplicity of a target. 

She might be the dumbest person he's ever met, but she sure is a handful when it comes to trying to finish his job. 

Jungkook pulls out his keys, fumbling with them for a second before he realizes something is off. He looks closer at the door lock and sees a few scratches on it. 

The fuck?

Jungkook quietly pulls out a little knife he keeps in his back pocket at all times when carrying a gun around isn't the smartest decision. 

Then as gently as he can, he puts his keys in the lock, turning it as slowly as he can. 

When he pushes the door open slowly, it creaks. 

The light from the hallway floods into his studio apartment, showing how truly dark it is inside. Not a single light is on. 

He always leaves his kitchen light on when he goes out. 

Jungkook stands up to his full height as he opens the door the rest of the way. He steps inside, then everything that happens next happens in a matter of seconds. 

An arm comes from behind him and wraps around his neck. 

Jungkook grabs the forearm of the intruder and lifts himself before bringing himself back down and flipping them over his shoulder. A loud thump sounds as the assailant hits his floor with a pained grunt. 

Jungkook leaps on them and wrestles the man to the ground again before straddling his chest. Jungkook pins one of the man's arms with one of his feet and the other he grips tightly in his hand. 

"Who sent you?" Jungkook growls. 

His small knife is pressed to the neck of the person whose chest is now starting to shake. Jungkook can't see his face in the dark but he can tell he's definitely laughing. 

"Shit, boy," The man groans, "You've gotten a hell of a lot stronger."

Jungkook's breath releases at the sound of a familiar voice. He leans back, releasing the young man's arms but still sitting atop his chest. 

"Fucking hell, Taehyung."

"Hello to you too, kid."

Jungkook rolls his eyes at that but doesn't move. 

Taehyung pushes at Jungkook roughly, "You've also gotten heavier. Get the fuck off my chest, asshole. The fuck are you doing anyway? Trying to seduce me?"

Jungkook laughs but finally gets off of the man lying on the floor in pain. 

"You wish," He retorts as he moves to flip the kitchen light on, making Taehyung squint and hiss in annoyance. 

"Fuck off, fatass," Taehyung growls, making Jungkook laugh again. 

Jungkook walks over and offers the older boy his hand, but the other just smacks it away and proceeds to get off the floor on his own. 

Jungkook shuts the front door and locks it, "You still suck at picking locks." 

Taehyung rolls his eyes, "Yeah, I'm a little rusty, whatever."

Moving to the fridge, Jungkook opens it to pull out a bottle of soju, then he gestures for Taehyung to take a seat on the couch. 

The older boy listens begrudgingly. 

"What are you doing here anyway, Tae?" Jungkook asks as he opens the bottle and hands it to his friend. 

"I have a hit around here," Tae says simply, "Knew you'd let me stay a few days." 

Taehyung is always on the go. He's never in one place for long, so he tends to stay with people he knows when he gets a hit that'll take a little longer than usual. 

Jungkook knows this, so he isn't surprised. 

"Yeah, whatever. Next time just ask me, don't break into my home, dumbass." Jungkook says before snagging the bottle and taking a long swig. After he swallows he continues, "I almost killed you." 

Tae snatches the bottle back, "You're no match for me, little shit. I let you win." 

Jungkook snorts but lets it go. Honestly, he could be right. 

Among all of the hitmen he's ever met, young and old, new and experienced, Kim Taehyung is by far the best.

He gets hundreds of hits every year. 

Jungkook is glad he's on his good side. He'd hate to be on the other side of whatever weapon Tae decides to use at that time. 

"So, who's your hit?" He asks his older friend curiously. 

Tae takes another drink, hissing as the liquid warms his throat and stomach.  

"Mr. Chen." 

He smirks at the look of shock on the younger's face. 

"Why you so surprised, kid?" Tae asks, tapping Jungkook's nose with his finger. Jungkook flinches back in irritation making him laugh, "You shocked you weren't hired to kill him yourself?"

Jungkook shakes his head, "No, stupid. Just surprised the bastard is still alive. I thought he would've been a hit a long time ago."

Tae nods, "Piece of shit deserves to be twenty feet under, that's for damn sure. I'm glad I get to be the one to do it." 

Jungkook takes the bottle from Tae for another sip. 

They sit in silence for a few minutes before Jungkook sets the bottle of soju on the coffee table and stands up, groaning. 

"Ok, well your ass is sleeping on the couch. You get in my bed while I'm sleeping like the pervert you are, I'll kill you." He points at Taehyung threateningly. 

Tae just chuckles and man spreads on the sofa, "Sure thing, JK."

"I'm taking a shower, you're welcome to take one after me. Ramen is in the kitchen, make yourself some food." 

"Wow, JK. You're a wonderful host, I should've come here sooner." Tae smiles cockily and Jungkook scoffs before moving to the bathroom to get washed up. 

Half an hour later, Jungkook comes out, one towel wrapped around his waist as he dries his hair with another one.

Tae is sitting at the dining table eating a cup of ramen noisily. He glances up and sees Jungkook, then he swallows and whistles lowly at him. 

Jungkook rolls his eyes, "Shut the hell up. Do you want to stay here or not?"

"Hell yeah, I do."

"Then stop being a fucking pervert." 

Tae finishes his last bite then stands up raising his hands in defense as he makes his way to the bathroom, "It's called a joke, sweetheart. I'm straight as a pencil, I swear." 

Jungkook whips the towel he was drying his hair off with at Tae, smacking him in the thigh and making him yelp as he runs to the bathroom.  

After a little while, Tae comes out dressed in the pair of sweats Jungkook left for him there. His hair is damp as he shakes his head like a wet dog, sending water droplets flying. He looks over to see Jungkook lying in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

Taehyung walks over to the couch and notices Jungkook put a pillow and an extra blanket there for him. He smiles and glances at Jungkook, "Aww, you shouldn't have, sweetie."

"Another word and I'll take 'em back," Jungkook mutters. 

The older boy just laughs and gets comfortable on the couch before Jungkook turns out the light by his bed. The silence in the dark room is deafening. 

Then Jungkook hears Tae speak up from across the room. 

"What you so grumpy for, JK?"

"I'm not grumpy."

"Is it your new hit?"

Jungkook sits up in bed and stares where he knows the couch is, "How did you know I had a new hit?" 

"I saw the folder earlier. It must be bad since you tore up the picture of the target." Tae muses. 

Jungkook lays back down, "The whole thing is just a fucking mess, Tae."

"How so?"

"My target acts like a kid-"

"A kid?"

"Yeah. I think there's something up with her. She's a dumbass and doesn't have a single sense of self-preservation."

"Shouldn't that make your job easier?" Tae asks, making Jungkook sigh. 

"That's the thing, I just don't understand why she's a tar-"

Rustling from the couch makes Jungkook pause. 

"Wait, are you questioning your hit?" Tae asks in disbelief. 

"No," Jungkook flips over onto his side, "No, I'm not. I just need it to be over with."

He hears Taehyung sigh from the couch and he stares into the dark, something stirring in him at Tae's next words. 

"Remember why you started this, JK. Don't question anything. It isn't our job to judge why someone sets a hit, but it is our job to get it done."

"I know." Jungkook snaps.

"Ok." 

Taehyung's right. 

He just needs to remember why he started this whole thing in the first place.

______________________________

a/n: sorry its late and short. hope you liked it tho :)

[gm--requests]

Patience (pt.1) - Soft Dom! Johnny Suh

g e n r e - s m u t & f l u f f 

w a r n i n g s - Soft Dom! Johnny, pet names, oral sex (f/m receiving), light size kink (if you fucking squint), explicit language, fingering, virgin! reader, praising

o r i g i n a l  c o n t e n t - i did write this 

w o r d s - 4204

r e q u e s t - here 

PT. 2 HERE

a / n - this might be a bit awkward because i love the concept but struggled a lot with how to go about writing it. I really wanted to capture Johnny-Boy in all of glory, but idk if i did him or this scenario justice. if you want a part 2 with actual diddle daddle hit me in the inbox. this is written with a plus-size reader in mind. anyone, of course, can read it, and i highly encourage it because i worked hard on this piece, but there needs to be a common understanding that there will be no dramatic throwing of anyone through a wall or anything lmao. like the plus-size community is hella underrated and i hope that i do all my babies justice.  also please leave feedback if you have any. also please do not engage in unprotected sex unless you are in a long term relationship with a trustworthy partner.  that being said please enjoy sex as much as you want with the use of aforementioned protection!

When the two of you ran into one another on that fateful day, it really was fate. You had been running extremely late for class and decided that it was no longer worth it to go, so you opted for a little adventure instead, wandering around until you found a tiny cafe. It was rather empty and had a wonderful atmosphere, it seemed perfect for a little studying. The only other people in the cafe were the employees, an older man who seemed very deep into work, and a tall guy standing in front of the counter looking at the menu. You walked up and stood behind him, trying to analyze the menu yourself.

Apparently the lengthy man had been standing there for quite some time as the worker finally smiled and said something about letting her know when he was ready. Finally the man sighed and turned around to you, “What should I order?”

You looked up at him confused and then in shock. Your wide eyes met his as you both realised who the other was, “Holy shit, Johnny?”

“Y/n? Wow! It’s been so long!”

You smiled up at him, “It really has! I didn’t know you stayed near here,” you laughed awkwardly, “or in Korea at all, actually.”

He chuckled, “Yea, I could say the same to you! Hold on, let me order so I can stop ruining this workers day and then, maybe, if you aren’t busy, we can catch up?”

“Yea, of course,” you nodded a little too enthusiastically.

He looked back at the menu and then back to you, “I, uh, still don’t know what to get.”

You laughed and stepped up to the counter, “Uhm, excuse me, I think we are ready to order.”

The worker stopped her task and hurried over to you, “What can I get for you?”

“I’ll have, uh, two cafe au laits and the chocolate waffles please,” as you reached for your wallet, Johnny beat you to it, handing the cashier a black card. You did your best not to let your face show your surprise at the prestigious piece of plastic.

“Sorry, for taking so long to order, I was waiting on this knowledgeable coffee angel to show up,” He smiled apologetically at the worker and then flashed you a quick wink. Despite yourself you smiled cheekily at him.

“It is no problem at all sir, we will have your order out right away!” the worker replied, handing his card back to him.

“Shall we?” Johnny gestured towards the expanse of empty tables. You nodded and headed for one near the back corner where the lights were a bit dimmer and someone would really have to be looking in order to see either of you.

“Ah, a woman of mystery,” he joked as you pulled out a chair and sat down.

“Oh, yes. You’ll come to find out that I’m super mysterious,” you leaned in and held your hand up to block off one side of your mouth, Johnny mimics you, “Actually, I'm on the run from the American government, that’s why I’m here.”

Johnny smirked at you, the gleam in his eyes playful, “I can’t believe you haven’t seen me in years and you’re trusting me with this kind of information,” he whispered.

You sat back in your seat and shrugged, “I was told that I can always trust a tall man with broad shoulders.”

His smirk quickly turned into a full smile, “Y/n, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say that you were already flirting with me.”

A red hue spread from your cheeks to the tip of your ears, “N-no I was just-”

Before you could continue speaking one of the workers was setting your drinks and food down on the table, you trained your eyes on the table, but Johnny had his eyes trained on you.

Eventually a few hours of wonderful conversation had passed and Johnny was quickly scrambling up, “I’m so sorry to just run like this, but I’m late for practice,” he said as he pushed in his chair.

“Oh, no, it’s no problem at all! I should be studying anyways,” you smiled up at him from your seat, “OH! You paid for my stuff, hold on I think I have enough cash for it,” you grabbed your bag and began shuffling hastily through its contents.

“I don’t want you to pay me back for that y/n, it was nothing, really.”

“I can’t let you just leave without paying you back Johnny, that would be rude,” you replied, setting your lips into a firm line. He chuckled.

“How about you pay me back by going out with me this weekend?”

You slowly raised your head to look at him, he wore the same smirk from earlier. You cleared your throat and nodded, “Yea, sure, I’d love to.”

“Great, let me give you my number real quick,” he said.

You unlocked your phone and handed it up to him. He typed in his number and you heard his phone ring in his pocket, “Now I have your number and you have mine! I’ll text you a time and place later, alright?”

“Sure! See you then!”

He hurriedly made his way out of the cafe, you watched as he slipped on a pair of sunglasses, flipped up the hood on his sweatshirt, and made his way down the street. You couldn’t help but think that if anyone was a person of mystery it was him.  

After the first date, came another and then another and before you knew it the two of you were dating. At first opening up to each other was hard. He always seemed so busy and you were scared that maybe your secret and his secret would tear the two of you apart, but finally one night you had both had enough.

As he sat at the table in your kitchen while you made dinner, the tension in the air became palpable. The once comfortable silence had become heavy and at the same time you both blurted, “We need to talk!”

You looked at one another in surprise and laughed.

“We really do though,” he said as his smile faltered.

You turned off the stove and covered up the half cooked food, “Dinner can wait for a bit.”  

You walked over to the kitchen table and pulled out the chair beside him, sitting down. He took your small hand in his large one, but didn’t meet your eyes.

“Listen y/n, we have been together for almost half a year now and I’ve been hiding something pretty big from you,” he swallowed thickly, “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be nervous or feel some type of pressure from it. I also thought it would keep you safer, but I’m tired of hiding it from you because it’s the only other thing in my life that is as important as you.”

“Johnny, if you’re gonna tell me that you are part of the mafia or something, I’d rather not know, because I’ve seen the movies and if someone breaks in here I will tell them everything I know, right down to your blood type.”  

Johnny laughed and squeezed your hand, “It is nice to know that you would give up all of my information so easily,” you shrugged and rolled his eyes, “but no, I’m not in the mafia or part of a gang. I am however,” he inhaled sharply, “part of a kpop group.”

You looked at him dumbly, “Johnny,” you began, but he interrupted you. “I know it sounds ridiculous and I know that it could make life harder for you if our fans knew, but I don’t want to keep hiding you from the group members and they all know something is up and I already had to tell management and-”

You cut him off with a laugh, “Johnny, I knew that already.”

“Huh?” It was his turn to look at you stupidly.

“Johnny the first time I saw you in that coffee shop, you pulled out a black card, and then when you left you put on a pair of sunglasses and slinked off into the shadows. You really thought I wasn’t gonna at least Google your name?!”

He sat speechless as you continued to laugh, “Why didn’t you tell me that you knew already y/n?”

“Because,” you paused to catch your breath, “you didn’t bring it up so I figured you didn’t want me to know, not to mention, I thought maybe you’d have to stop seeing me if I knew.”

“Holy shit,” he sighed happily, “it feels like the weight of the world has just been lifted off my shoulders.”

You smiled at him happily, but it quickly fell as you looked at him, “Well, I guess it’s my turn now,” you looked down at your hand in his, “I, uh, the reason I don’t ever do anything other than kiss you is because, I, well I don’t really know anything about that kind of stuff and I’ve never had sex.”

Johnny sat there quietly, the silence making you nervous, until finally, “Y/n, I think we are both really bad about making things a bigger deal than they are.”

You looked at him confused, but he just smiled softly at you, “I just mean that it’s totally okay and we will take everything at whatever pace you want to. I’m not going to pressure you or try and speed up the process. I’m perfectly content with just making out with you forever, if that is what you want. There is so much more to a relationship than fucking.”

“Geez did you really have to say fucking that sounds so harsh,” you mumbled and he fights back a laugh.

“Okay, I’m sorry, making love,” he corrects himself, his eyebrows raising up and down suggestively. You groan and pull your hand from his, standing and returning to the stove top.

“Well now that we’ve got everything off of our chests, we should talk about when you’re gonna meet the boys.”

“All twenty of them?” you ask cheekily as you turn on the burner and begin cooking again.

“You really did do your research, huh?”

“Yea, I was curious. I think I like Jaehyun.” You look at him and raise your eyebrows the way he did before.

In a flash he is up from his chair and his arms are wrapping around your pudgy waist, “You better fuckin not like Jaehyun.” He presses his lips to your cheek and then pouts, “I’m just as good looking as he is and I speak better English.”

“Didn’t he only live in Connecticut for like, four years?”

“Jesus, y/n!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands dramatically in the air, “What did you do? Read his entire autobiography?!”

“He has an autobiography,” you ask excitedly and he lets out a groan in defeat.

“My girlfriend is gonna cheat on me with my best friend,” he mumbles as he leans against the counter opposite you.

You giggle, “Well I don’t think you have to worry about any of that, not only am I head over heels for you, but according to the website I looked at, I’m not even his ideal type.”

“Y/n, I’ll be honest, the fact that you even looked at his ideal type is bothersome for me,” he replied, sounding a bit defeated.

“Well I looked at yours too,” you turned to face him, “why do you think I smile at you so much, hmm?”

His eyes met yours and you grinned widely. Placing the cooking spoon on the counter, you walk over to him and press your lips sweetly against his. Johnny’s large hands find purchase on your butt and you smile into the kiss. Pulling away slowly, you look at him and you swear you can see the love pouring out of his eyes, you hope you can see it in yours too.

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A few months later, Johnny has integrated you into his life completely. You’ve met all of the members of NCT, including Jaehyun, who Johnny always seems to be a little more handsy with you around, you’ve been “caught” by Dispatch, and all NCTzens at least know of you. Because of this, the two of you had grown closer than ever before and had finally both spoken those three special words to one another.

The ‘I love you’s’ came a bit awkwardly at first, but now they were a force of habit. Love wasn’t just something you felt towards one another, it was something you were in and Johnny never missed an opportunity to let you know that.

Despite your closeness, the two of you still hadn’t done much more than makeout heatedly, here and there. You felt bad, but Johnny always assured you that he didn’t mind. If things ever got too heated, he would excuse himself and go take a quick shower. Johnny was nothing if not understanding and patient. But you’d be lying if you said that you weren’t starting to get a least a little bit curious. You wanted to tell him that you wanted to start trying those things, but didn’t quite know how to.

------------------------------------------

One night the two of you were sitting on the couch and you finally decided that you wanted to take it to the next step. The curiosity was killing you and seeing him in nothing but a pair of sweatpants, his fit and large body on display was really doing a number on you. During a commercial, you’d had enough and decided to say ‘fuck it’. Carefully you climbed over and straddled your plush body on top of his.

He let out a soft ‘oh’ in surprise as your lips nervously met his jawline. You began placing small kisses on his cheeks, then the corner of his mouth, and finally his lips. His hands, as per usual, fell comfortably on the curve of your butt. You deepen the kiss quickly, your tongue brushing against his bottom lip. Johnny chuckled at your newly found haste, but obliged and let your tongue slip past his lips. He always let everything progress at your speed, scared that he would push you too far and make you uncomfortable, but when you gently grinded down on him, he found his body involuntarily jerking upwards. A soft moan left your mouth as you quickly pulled away from him.

His hands quickly moved from your ass to beside himself, “Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he sputtered, “I should probably uh move from this position before it gets a mind of its own.” But you didn’t move. Instead you placed your hands on his chest and nervously grinded down again. Johnny hissed as his hips jerked again.

“Y/n,” he began, but you cut him off.

“Can we, maybe, go a little further than normal tonight?” your voice coming out as a hushed whisper.

His eyebrows knit together, “Are you sure?” He asked in a serious tone that you’d never heard from him before.

You nodded quickly and he let his hands fall to your hips, “Just tell me if you want me to stop okay?” “I will,” you said firmly and he smiled at you softly before letting his grip on you tighten.

Johnny couldn’t lie, he was more than excited to be able to progress like this. You were the most beautiful girl in the world to him and sometimes his thoughts got the best of him. Your innocence proved to be a big turn on for him and just knowing that he was the first person to ever be with you in this way had him instantly hard. He gently pressed your hips down as he rocked into you. He marveled in the way your breathing picked up and soft mewls began to fall from your lips. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you. The way your face scrunched up at these unknown pleasures and God it made him want to take you right there on the couch.

Despite that all, he wanted you to feel good first and foremost, “Baby, how about we go to the bedroom, yea? If this is your first time for these things, I don’t want that to be on your 10 year old couch.”

You smiled sheepishly and climbed off of him. As you stood and walked towards the room, he tried to ignore the lingering look you gave as your eyes shifted from his to his very prominent hard on. Once in the room, he shut the door behind himself and you climbed awkwardly on to the bed. He chuckled as he saw your flushed face and took note of how you sat criss-crossed.

“Lay down for me, baby,” he urged gently as he climbed on to the bed. You looked so nervous and innocent as he hovered his body over yours. He kissed you gently, one hand keeping him sturdy above you, while the other gently caressed your face. When he pulled away, he stared at you. Your slightly swollen lips, flushed chubby face, and half lidded eyes had him reeling.

“Y/n, have you ever touched yourself before?” Johnny asked. It came out as a whisper, his lips millimetres away from your ear. It made you shiver.

“N-no, I haven’t,” you whispered back. You felt his hand pass softly over your breasts and across your stomach, stopping at the pudge right above your crotch.

“Can I touch you there?” he brought himself back up to look at you.

“Please,” you whimpered and he was happy to oblige.

Johnny’s sat back and gently spread your legs apart. He ran his hand up your plush thigh before leaning back up to whisper in your ear once more, “Tell me whenever you want me to stop, okay baby?”

You mewled a simple ‘okay’ as his hand cupped your clothed pussy. His touches were soft and gentle, he ran his fingers over your slit and to your clit. He felt the wet spot in your shorts form and pulled his fingers away, instead letting them hook in to the waistline of the fabric. He tugged softly and you hesitantly lifted your body, allowing him to pull them down.

Johnny ran his finger through your folds, allowing your arousal to coat it completely, before he slowly eased his finger inside of you. He watched your face intently, your eyes closing and forehead wrinkling at the foreign feeling. Slowly he pushed the finger in and out of you, until you were letting out soft moans. He pushed his thumb against your clit and watched your body tense at the pleasure. He softly worked in a second finger and he watched as the discomfort turned to pleasure.

He was twitching in his sweatpants, convinced that he had never been this turned on in his life. “Does that feel good baby?” he cooed.

“God yes,” you moaned out and he let the thrust of his fingers speed up. He could feel you gripping on to him and he could only imagine how it’d feel wrapped around him.

Your high built up beautifully. Starting slowly until you couldn’t help but cry out at the feeling. Johnny was a pro, though you had nothing to compare it to, you knew that this was the best you’d ever feel in your life. Johnny slowly pulled his fingers from inside of you and you whimpered out. You opened your eyes and looked at him confused, until you saw him lick your essence off his fingers. Instantly your face was hot as he groaned at the taste.

Johnny positioned his head in between your thighs before speaking, ‘If you want me to stop tell me okay?”

“I will,” was all you got out before he tongue was licking up you and your legs were shaking.

Johnny moved his tongue far slower than he wanted to. You were so sweet and so sensitive. His large hands had to keep your soft, pillowy thighs from closing together in pleasure. Your moans had gotten far louder and he couldn’t help but rut against the bed. Every sound you made turned him on to no end.

“You taste so good princess,” he murmured against you before his tongue dove into you. Your legs had become jello, your hands gripping the sheets beside you, the coil in your abdomen tightening and then snapping as his wet muscle lapped at your sensitive clit. He continued licking you clean, letting you ride out your high until you were involuntarily pulling away from him.

He sat up and looked at your already fucked out expression. His hard cock twitching painfully in his pants, “I’m gonna go grab a towel to clean up anything I might have missed,” he said cheekily, “and then I’m gonna go take a quick shower, alright?”

As Johnny went to climb off the bed you sat up, “Wait,” he stopped, “C-can I help this time?”

“Baby, it’s really no big deal, you don’t have to,” he smiled at you reassuringly, but you shook your head.

“I want to. Please teach me.” Your pure eyes met his and he couldn’t find it in him to tell you no.

“Okay,” he stood, his hands on the top of his sweats, “but I mean it y/n, if you want to stop at any point in time. Tell me. You don’t owe me anything. I like making you feel good.”

“I know, I just, I’ve really been wanting to and you just look,” your eyes left his and fell on your hands as you spoke in an embarrassed whisper, “big.”

Johnny did his best to hold back his pride, but he couldn’t fight back the smile. He didn’t want to be overly confident the first time, but it was true. He was rather well endowed and when he pulled down his sweatpants, the tip of his decently girthy manhood, tapped the area above his belly button. You swallowed thickly and Johnny could see the nervousness in your eyes.

“Here,” he said, getting back on the bed, “let me lay down, that way you can take everything at your own pace, mkay?” He said as he got comfortable on his back. You came to kneel at his side and he cupped your chubby face in his hands, “Just go slow princess.”

You nodded and gently grabbed his member in your hand, causing Johnny to suck air in through his teeth. You looked at him worriedly, “You’re okay baby, I’m just a bit sensitive.”

You nodded and leaned down, bringing the tip to your lips. As you wrapped your lips around the head of his length, he moaned out a breathy, “holy fuck.”  

You took his words as an encouragement to go further, trying to take more of him into your mouth too quickly, you gagged, pulling off of him and he sat up a bit, “Baby, it’s okay, go slow, there is no rush.” His hand petting your head as you nodded at him.

You slowly tried again, your mouth inching down his length, soft groans leaving his lips. Eventually the feeling became more normal and you were able to begin bobbing your head, “That feels so good princess, you’re doing so good for me.” His praises made you more confident and the more comfortable you got  the more of him you were able to take in.

Soon you had his tip pressed against the back of your throat, you fought back your gag reflex, focusing only on the feeling of his cock filling your mouth and the praises flowing from his mouth, “Ah, shit,” he murmured as you swallowed around him, “princess I’m gonna cum, if you keep it up, fuck.”

You sped up your movements, your hands taking care of the bit of his shaft that you couldn’t take into your mouth. You could tell he was getting closer by the way he began twitching. You pulled off of him, “Y-you can cum in my mouth,” your eyes meeting his as your mouth wraps back around his length and he loses it.

His hand meeting the back of your head and pushing you down roughly as he cums down your throat. When he lets go, you immediately pull off of him, sputtering and coughing.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry baby,” He exclaims as he sits up and wraps your squishy body up in his arms, “you did so good for me, took me so well.” He coos as he runs his thumb across your swollen bottom lip, before connecting his lips with yours.

Johnny kisses you lovingly, pulling you down to cuddle up next to him, “Let’s be done for tonight, mkay baby? You did a lot, I don’t wanna push you too far because we’re in the heat of the moment. Is that okay?”

You nod against his chest, as you both lay there bare.

“Plus, I’ll be honest, the way you look at me makes me want to break you and I don’t wanna go too far,” he mumbles. You whimper at the thought and he squeezes you tighter, kissing the top of your head, relishing in the way your soft body fits with his, how tiny you look.

[canonbiwonderwoman]

So I’ve been reading through the Ice Planets Barbarians series-- like ya do-- and I started trying to parse out the phonology of the Sa-khui language-- again, like ya do. And I think I’ve come up with a solid phonetic inventory based on the suggested pronunciation guide at the end of Barbarian’s Prize (which is probably by favorite thus far btw), but the sticking point is this: Dagesh’s name is apparently supposed to be pronounced “Dah-zzhesh” with a note saying that “the g sound is swallowed.” Now, I’m not a linguist by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m working off of the assumption that, because the Sa-khui don’t have any written language as far as I can tell, the spelling of the sa-khuis’ names are based off of the English-speaking human characters in-universe, which is why it would appear that the same sound can be represented by two different letters, ie, C and K would both represent the IPA sound /k/.

That said, I’d love to see what other fans think, and I’m especially curious as to what that ‘g’ in Dagesh’s name would sound like, cause I’m just making an educated guess based off of what I found on Wikipedia.

Consonants: /v, t, k, l, m, ʃ, s, n, w, h, p, d, ɣ (my best guess at that wayward “g”), x (what I think the ‘kh’ at the end of Rukh’s name would sound like, although it could just as well just be another form of /k/), z, j, ɹ, r (a rolled ‘r’ is what I’d imagine a double r could represent in-text)

Vowels: /ɛ, iː, a, ʌ, ɔ, o/

Dipthongs: /oʊ̯, eɪ̯, aɪ̯, aʊ̯/

[radramblog]

Rating the letters of the alphabet

I feel like part of my style of comedy is just rambling about shit and making loose connections between things as part of an overall bit. I think. I’m no expert on myself, unfortunately.

The inspiration for the following absolute load of shite is trying to search Tiermaker for nothing. Like, no characters in the search bar. Didn’t come up with anything. Did a search for just a space. No dice. What about just a? Surely that’ll bring up everything with an A in the title. But it didn’t, and I was somewhat disappointed.

Then my head started writing bits about letters and that’s how we got here. This is probably really stupid, but maybe it’ll at least be fun. Wordplay is cool, though maybe not my strong suit? Anyway.

A: A is one of the two letters that’s also just a word, as you’ve just seen, giving it a necessary promotion in rank. Not a lot of things get to double up like that, though with the “an” ligature maybe it’s actually a double or nothing. But because of the confusing common connection crossing contexts for the character, it gets somewhat awkward to talk about the letter in conversation. An A, in my opinion, A does not get. 4/5.

B: B is also just a word letter but unlike A when you write it out you have to stick a few extra letters on to make it work, making it not as good. But B’s association with bees isn’t enough, because in the year of our lord, like, 2019 or something, it would become inextrixably linked with shite memes as the B emoji became king. And I just don’t respect that. It’s otherwise a fine letter, dragged down by its company. 2/5.

C: Oh come on now, the word doesn’t even have a C in it anymore! You can sea the see without any of our tertiary letter’s involvement whatsoever. Not to mention how its two main sounds are just copies from other letters wholesale. C must be confusing to non-english speakers, I’d imagine. C as a grade gets what C as a grade typically entails for many a schoolchild. 3/5.

D: It would be remiss of me not to give a sterling grade to the D. Why, none of us would be here without it. While many a youth may find the D to be quite a humourous subject, I assure you I’m taking it with the gravest of sincerity when I say the D has got to be one of the best letters of all.

And by D I mean deity, of course. Wait, what did you think I meant? 5/5.

E: The absolute absurdity that is the E meme elevates E efficiently enough to excel beyond many another vowel. However, it is also the single most common letter in the English language, going so far as to open the damn name. It’s to the point where someone made a point of writing an entire book without using it, and I think Gadsby is cool but mayhaps avoiding fifth uncial was a bit showy. I can’t help but mark it down for the sake of hipster cred. 3/5.

F: F is for Fuck. I like the word Fuck. F is for paying respects. I think the military-industrial complex has poisoned our cultural landscape to the point that a reference to one of its most prized productions’ awkward moments has become one of the most colloquially used meme letters in existence, And That’s Terrible. 3/5, I’m conflicted.

G: Man literally who the fuck cares about G. What is it even good for. Just an absolute waste of a letter, total shithouse. It’s NATO equivalent is Golf, the Worst Sport, too. Who asked for any of this? Just use a J instead, it’s cooler. 1/5.

H: I’ve seen “Hhh” used enough times in written forms of pornography to not consider it a Horny Letter. That and it, being short for Hentai, is often used to denote adult material in Japan. Basically what im saying is, I think this gets worse the less sex-positive you are. 6/9.

I: I think I’ve said enough about letter words already, but I is another high-tier one because like A I is just it’s own thing. It can also, however, be a bit confusing, looking just like an l a lot of the time, and having to constantly capitalise it is a pain in the ass. I also don’t have a particularly high opinion of myself, so a high opinion of I seems disingenuous. 3/5.

J: Clearly the best letter, hands down. I’m definitely not biased. There are so few letters as underappreciated by J- a fact many a person who’s had to do that “assign yourself an alliterative adjective” icebreaker game has had to reckon with. Because it appears to be a lot more popular with names than with words, and that just kind of sucks. 6/5.

K: K has in some circles managed to bump off its partner to become yet another letter word, though in a very informal abbreviated sense. However, when you’re looking into scientific fields, eventually said partner returns, having lost some weight on the trip down to absolute zero. This all makes complete sense in my head, and I’m sure is a lot less funny to anyone who doesn’t live there. 4/5.

L: I’d argue that L doesn’t cop its namesake. It’s a really useful letter, loads of words use it, especially in pairs, and my ADHD-brain thought it was fun to just say LLLLLLLLLLL for a bit while I was thinking about this so I guess that’s staying in now. Put me down as an L Lobbyist. 4/5.

M: Mmmmmm. M&Ms. But also it’s kind of a pain to write. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. 3/5.

N: I’d like to fight whoever decided we should have two letters that sound so similar right bloody next to each other in the alphabet. Actually, who the fuck even decided the alphabet’s order to begin with? Maybe it should go M to N, that’ll bloody show you. 2/5.

O: Our fourth vowel, and perhaps one of the underappreciated ones. O is similarly a letter word, but a much more common one considering its use as an interjection. It’s also one half of a very powerful letter combo, as we’ll see. 4/5.

P: There’s the other half. Many a joke involves OP as a phrase, whether it mean overpowered or original poster, and the letters’ adjacency is a lovely bit of serendipity. Whenever I say P out loud, on its own, I have to resist the urge to do some incredibly shitty beatboxing, which may or may not be a good sign. 4/5.

Q: I was going to write some very harsh words about Q, and its dependency on U, but then I realised that that is probably hate speech against the disabled. It still sucks, though. 0/5.

R: R is the one I am most struggling to think of things to say about. R is another letter that’s just kinda there. I’m sure the Roberts and Rachels of the world would disagree with me, though. It’s also the name of a program that I know has traumatised a lot of young biologist wannabes, slapping us with a whole pile of maths and statistics when we just wanted to look at cool plants and shit. Or in my case, cool cells and shit. 2/5.

S: The most overrated consonant, but also the thing that makes plurals not a pain in the ass. However I’m going to lean towards giving S a positive rating, if only because it’s associated with snakesssss (and serpentine characters who can talk) and I like those. 3/5.

T: I don’t think T gets enough credit as one of the pillars of the English language. A lot of very common words feature it, and yet it feels like it never gets the same level of credit as big shots like S or half of the vowels. T is like the character actor of the alphabet, is basically what I’m saying. 4/5.

U: Ah, the letter Americans hate for some reason. I think this is actually commentary on the history of American politics. Because throughout history, America has been extremely selfish and self-centered, while attempting to present a positive image that people are finally seeing past. They only entered WWI and WWII when it was convenient for them, they started wars and initiated coups in even their allies for petty ideological reasons, and they’ve gone to war with several countries and funded wars with several others seeming just for shits and giggles. Because apparently if you’re not an American, then you’re not one of them, and that means they hate U. 4/5.

V: I actually think V is underrated. It’s a fun sound. That’s it, no joke here. It’s neat, I like it. 4/5.

W: This may come as a shock to you, but double-u over here is actually two Vs! unless you’re writing in cursive, but fuck cursive. The French actually have it right on this one, naming it double-v (pronounced doobleh-vay). Add in the fact that it’s literally just M upside down, and you’ve got a pretty shite letter. 1/5.

X: There’s a reason literally every “A is for Apple” thing you see made for kids uses Xylophone for X, and that’s because there are no commonly used words that start with it. Seriously, it’s all just scientific terms- I’d argue X-Ray is more common than Xylophone in common parlance, but also, who wants to explain imaging to a kid. It doesn’t even get a second page of words on Dictionary.com. X also has implications as a letter word, that I’d rather avoid at the moment. 2/5.

Y: Ah, Ygreck, everyone’s favourite “what the fuck, France?” moment. Between that and being sorta kinda not really a vowel, Y prompts its own question more often than I’d care to admit. 2/5.

Z: As a (technical) member of the generation associated with this letter- on the one hand, I’m sorry, on the other, y’all have it coming. The final letter of the alphabet, one of the other ones worth 10 in scrabble (and yet X isn’t???), and one we probably got pretty sick of in the early 00s when it was everywhere- ironically, when most of the generation was getting born. 2/5.

And that’s the lot of them. I hope this didn’t alienate any non-English speakers too hard. It’s probably fine.

Join me for more bullshit next time I have another stupid idea. I mean, tomorrow.

[otonymous]

I just found this and omg,, i’m in love with your writing and stories!! I read your nsfw alphabet for Lucien, how about one for my man Victor? :D

Hi dear Anon! 

Thank you so much for checking out my work and your super sweet comment!  💕Here’s a NSFW alphabet for everyone’s favourite pudding-making, time-controlling CEO!  Hope you like it and happy reading! 😊

Warning: NSFW/18+: Explicit/graphic language - reader discretion is advised.

The ABCs of Victor (MLQC Headcanon - NSFW)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Victor enjoys taking a warm, luxurious bath with you after sex, your back laying flush against his rock hard pecs and the man soaping every deliciously sore body part with the gentlest of hands, as if paying homage to a goddess who took him to new heights of pleasure.  Expect to be surrounded by lit candles with beautifully subtle scents

Afterwards, relax and rejuvenate in his silk sheets and a mattress so comfortable you have to double check to ensure you’re not sleeping on a cloud

Victor already had his butler prepare a sumptuous yet healthy spread for the two of you, left on a cart outside his bedroom door

You can bet he’ll have some of that pudding from Souvenir as a special post-coital treat

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your collarbones: loves pressing kisses and running his tongue along them.  Gets a certain sense of satisfaction in buying you the most exquisite necklaces to further highlight their appeal

Just the slightest peek from the collar of your top has the blood rushing to his cock

Victor is proud of his broad shoulders and arms, especially his biceps: they’ve always been naturally buff, and he loves to bounce you in the air for some hot standing sex (bonus points if there’s a mirror nearby)

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum)

This elegant man loves to give you an equally elegant pearl necklace by cumming on your neck and chest

He also loves it when you swallow (please see “Dirty Secret” below)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Victor loves to see your mouth glisten with his cum, and he especially loves tasting it from your lips

The CEO cannot resist pulling you in for a deep kiss after you’ve taken his release in your mouth

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Victor knows what he is doing: his attentiveness to your physical and emotional needs will keep you beyond satisfied and coming back for more

He had a past relationship with an older, more experienced female who gave him a crash course in sex, sensuality and seduction

F = Favourite Position

Like Lucien, Victor has a couple of favourites

He loves to bounce you onto his cock while he’s standing up, your legs hooked over his elbows and pressed against the solid bulge of his biceps

There is no shortage of mirrors in his bedroom: this man loves to watch as he impales you onto his rock hard erection, fully drenched in your arousal

He also enjoys good old Missionary with a twist: your head is hanging off the edge of the bed, the position making your collarbones more prominent.  Victor cannot help but mark them up with fervent kisses as he’s pounding into you, the blood rushing to your head as well as your pussy

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

Overall, Victor tends to be more serious when it comes to lovemaking, although there have been times when you’ve made him chuckle with an odd comment

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Victor is bare.  Completely bare.  Feel free to suck his balls into your mouth

You wouldn’t even know if the carpet matches the drapes because the man keeps his personal aesthetician busy

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Victor is incredibly big on romance and affection

Throughout the act, he’s looking deeply into your eyes, kissing your lips, the tip of your nose, your closed eyelids, pressing his forehead to yours, burying his face into the nape of your neck to inhale deeply

Contrary to the brusque way in which he usually speaks on a daily basis, words of devotion and admiration are spilling from his lips

He’s telling you he loves you, that you’re his everything and the one thing he cannot lose in his life.  That he would willingly throw everything away for you if that’s what it took to make you happy, that the fruits of his hard labour would amount to nothing if you weren’t there to share them with him

And he means every word

It may not be readily apparent, but Victor needs you to tell him you love him with all your heart as well; for someone who comes off as completely confident and self-assured, you might be surprised to find that he always craves this reassurance

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

The CEO masturbates around 2-3 times/week

Victor prefers to remain pent-up to heighten your lovemaking sessions when they finally do happen

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

As mentioned previously, Victor loves to watch as you make love: his bedroom has a number of well-placed mirrors and he has made recordings of you guys in the past (all securely encrypted, of course)

When the CEO does jerk off, he’ll often refer to these videos

He also loves fucking you in the ass (only if you’re down with it, of course)

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Places that are comfortable, luxurious and completely private…so in his own home or the penthouse suites of the most expensive hotels

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Needless to say, you’re his biggest motivation (see “intimacy” above)

The sight of you riding a horse also does things to him

Victor is putty in your hands when you kiss his.  Suck his long, tapered fingers into your mouth and shyly lick at his knuckles and the CEO will be restraining himself from ripping off every article of clothing from your body

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Like Lucien, Victor does NOT share

He wants you in your entirety and would be completely broken on the inside if you even mention adding another participant into the mix in the bedroom

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Definitely prefers to give oral and THE MAN IS SKILLED & THOROUGH

Don’t get me wrong, Victor loves having your lips and tongue on his cock as well, but he really gets off on giving you pleasure and tending to your every need

He really wants to please you

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

At least initially, Victor tends towards slow and sensual because of his MASSIVE COCK

He is patient and meticulous when it comes to his foreplay: he knows how important it is to ensure you are fully aroused, opened and properly lubricated before he even considers entering you for fear of hurting you

Once you have comfortably acclimatized to his size, the pace and depth of Victor’s thrusts will start to increase

He will never, ever be needlessly rough (the man always has your comfort in the back of his mind)

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not a big fan of quickies

To Victor, lovemaking is a ritual and cannot be rushed

If he had his way, he would devote an entire day to enjoying each other’s bodies, relishing the time spent in really getting to know one another incredibly well: the places to lick to make you moan the loudest, the frequency with which his fingers should press and curl deep inside you to make your legs tremble and shake

He would rather forego sex than engage in a quickie, waiting for the opportunity to take you to his home or at least a luxe penthouse suite at the best five-starred hotels

This also has the added benefit of getting the two of you so pent-up that the sex is absolutely EXPLOSIVE when you finally get the chance to be alone together

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Victor himself tends to be a bit more reserved, but he’s willing to experiment for your sake if you express interest in something (as long as it doesn’t involve a third party — see N above)

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Victor is a swimmer and fit as shit, so you know the man’s got stamina for DAAAAYYYSSSS

Quality over quantity: the CEO can go a couple of rounds per lovemaking session, but each round lasts a while

He’s able to exert incredible control over his body, pulling back at the right time to delay his release, then slowly building it up all over again

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Victor doesn’t have toys to use on himself

But he does have a vibrator from that time you expressed curiosity in how it would feel to be double-penetrated. That toy has since seen many uses.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Victor isn’t much of a tease at all

Believe it or not, he actually lives to please you — so feel free to tease him as much as you want if that’s what you’re into

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Mr CEO is not known for being loud in the bedroom

That’s not to say he won’t pant hot and moist in your ear just as he’s about to come

Expect heavy breathing, the odd moan and groan here and there

That doesn’t mean your man is silent: Victor loves to talk, his language both sweet and filthy at the same time

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Before you have to part, the man likes to reach between your legs to gather and smear your arousal on several of his pulse points, much like he would with cologne, just so he can have the subtle hint of your scent remind him of you for the rest of the day

Contrary to his usual exacting and stern external façade, Victor is actually super, super soft for you - this is typically revealed during moments of intimacy

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Victor has a BIG COCK (see Pace above)

The man is long AND thick

Not much curvature

Cut and completely bare

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

His sex drive is average (see Quickie) — the man is able to delay gratification until he’s capable of properly fucking you well and good

It also cannot be helped that the man is so busy keeping tabs on so many things at LFG — he simply cannot afford to be thinking about sex all the time

All the same, his sex drive goes from zero to sixty at the slightest remembrance of you

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Doesn’t fall asleep quickly after sex

Victor needs time to come down from his high even after all that physical exertion and his climax — hence he enjoys taking a nice, warm bath with you afterwards: you’re able to clean yourselves off while relaxing and preparing for a nice post-coital slumber

——————————————————————————————-

Thanks for reading!  Check out more of my work here! 📚

[leggomylino]

light switch 2 | yandere!seungmin

Genre: Yandere, romance/fluff (sorta?), thriller, a little angst, some comedy

Pairing(s): yandere!Seungmin x reader

Word count: ~8k

Warnings: Author rambling, run-on sentences, mild language (censored), a few memes, moments of high tension and possible anxiety, ooc, and mild abuse/violence

A/N: Requests are open! | Masterlist in bio! | I told you guys I was working on this!! Lol I’m so sorry it took so long! :(( But, nevertheless, here it is! ...And yes, there’s a surprise waiting for you at the end... >u>” Enjoy!! And please be sure to tell me what you think! c: I love hearing from you all~ <3 (For those of you that missed it, part one can be found here)

Oh my gosh it’s finally back

Can you believe it’s finally back

Seriously what took this chick {author} so long to write this sh*t wtfudge man

Okay okay I know I’m sorry

It’s been really chaotic and I’ve had a lot on my plate (and mind) but we’re finally back now and that’s all that matters

So

My question to you all is

ARE YOU READY TO FINISH THIS THING?!

(enter your response here)

...THEN YEEHAW LET’S GO 

  Okay so

To recap:

AT A CERTAIN DANDY BOY™ HOUSE

Your mother had just made a phone call to Seungmin asking to talk to you

She wanted to remind you to bring the mail inside before y’all got too comfortable and side-tracked since you told her you were at Minnie’s (a fatal error on your part) and she and your father are out of town on a cliche business trip

Things always go wrong during cliche business trips

Anyway Minnie was pretty confused at first but he caught on pretty quickly that something was up

Something rotten in the state of Your Town Name Here

And knowing that you must have lied he decided to play along, beginning to gather the materials he needed

*cue ominous soap opera music*

 “......”

“...Seungmin? Is everything alright?” Her voice is growing more and more worried with each consonant. “Where’s (y/n)?”

“......” 

He laughs.

Just laughs for a moment, shaking his head.

“...Yeah, yes, she’s here. Sorry, my connection has been on the fritz lately.”

“O-Oh, I see...can I talk to her?”

“She’s in the bathroom getting cleaned up right now. I’ll have her call you as soon as she’s out...”

He paces over to the blinds, peeking out into the neighborhood from his second story window. Like a lot of cliche villains or suspicious people do. “...but it may be a while. You know how long she takes just to brush her teeth.”

Mrs. (L/n) gives a relieved, but still somewhat nervous chuckle, sighing at the end to ease her tension. “Yes, I certainly do. Thanks so much, Minnie. I know I can count on you to take good care of my little girl.”

“Yes...” He smiles, nuzzling the phone between his ear and shoulder as he’s scouring his room for things: a bottle labeled “Witch Hazel”, some cloth, a copy of his dad’s car key...as well as an additional key he never thought he’d get to use until now. “You can always count on me. I promise she’ll be out like a light before the clock strikes twelve.”

“That’s a relief. In that case just tell her to bring the mail in, would you? Thanks again!”

“It’s not a problem. Good night, Mrs. (L/N).” 

“You too dear.”

Beep. He hangs up.

Looks back out the window. Sighs.

It wouldn’t be a problem at all.

“...at least, not for long.”

 ~~~

 Back at Lucas’ house...well really, your imagination...you’re having a nightmare you used to have as a child

You’re walking down the street, minding your own business...

When all of a sudden the sky turns red, then black

The faces of the people around you turn sinister; they look like they want to hurt you

You begin to run as fast as you can, but your whole body is weighed down, like gravity is twice as strong on you

But not on anyone else 

So while the people who are slowly turning into monsters are gaining on you

All you can do is cower in fear and pray that it will be over quickly

But then there’s a burst of white light

Like a light switch has been flipped on

And the ground crumbles beneath you, bursts of white shining through the cracks

And you go tumbling down into the earth

Down

       Down

             Down

Until you land into a pair of soft, strong arms

Your face instantly buries into the figure’s chest, because you know you can trust him

He smells sweet, like lavender and fresh Spring daisies

It’s a calming, pleasing scent

And all the monsters who were chasing you before vanish as they fall into the crumbling Earth, disintegrating into nothing but ash that’s carried someplace far, far away

You look up to see who your savior is

It’s never the same person

At first it was your dad; then it was your sixth grade crush; a couple times it was the cute actor from your favorite movie

But this time, and sadly like the last five times you’ve had this dream since you started high school...that person is none other than Kim Seungmin

He’s looking so ...

There isn’t a word for it

His edges are soft

So are his eyes

And he’s looking at you like you’re responsible for hanging the moon in the sky and making all the stars glow

He has such high expectations for you

From you

That you’re afraid to let him down

To tell him the truth

You aren’t God, after all

But...

......

You just—

“gaAAAAAHHH—!!!”

!!?!?!!!?!

What the heck was that?!?

Your eyes shoot open to the sound of someone crying out

It sounds like a man’s voice...

And it’s nearby

You’re stunned into shock for a few seconds before you can get your body to move, and when you do you grip the plushie in your arms against your chest—

Wait, plushie...?

You look down.

Your eyes are adjusting while a struggle is clearing going on outside 

It’s the plushie that Seungmin gave you

The one from your house; you know it is bc it smells like your bedroom

But you didn’t bring this with you...

You’re scared, but you quickly throw yourself out from the safety of the tent—

And immediately wish you hadn’t

The window beside the bed is open

A cold draft blowing in

Lucas is pinned down, struggling 

The shadowy figure above him

Is none other

Than Kim Seungmin

He’s ripping something off of his belt-

It’s a syringe

He stabs it into Lucas’ arm with a curse, and not but two seconds later the boy is little more than a vegetable; no longer moving, barely breathing

Holy sh*t

I mean

Holy sh*t--

You gotta bounce sis

You gotta MOVE

Seungmin tosses a bottle of some clear liquid aside in anger, and it spills open in the middle of the floor

The smell hits you pretty quickly; it smells of lavender and fresh daisies

Just like in your dream/nightmare

It makes you feel a bit woozy upon inhaling it

But you don’t completely pass out 

Which apparently is what Minnie was going for

There’s a thump as Seungmin jumps to the floor

And you’re scared

Actually, saying you’re scared is an understatement

This is pretty freaking serious man

You don’t think you can meme your way through this one

You can’t move

You just kneel there outside your tent in shock, trying to convince yourself this is one of those nightmares that stems from another; you simply woke up into a new dream is all

But it’s not so

Something in your heart is telling you

This is real life

Seungmin is doing something...

He’s...filling another syringe 

Now that your eyes have adjusted, you can see he’s completely surpassed resting b*tch mode

He’s gone off the deep end. Like, he’s really gone this time

Looking so serious and genuine, so certain about what he’s doing...

Yet having lost all the light in his eyes

“Now, (y/n)...I need you to be good and take this for me.”

Uh

Uhhhh

No thanks bro that’s okay

P h A t pass on that one man

Phattest pass, phattest pass

You get your legs to finally work as he’s approaching you, scurrying towards the door and only stopping when your back hits against it, because dammit all, he’s still too fast for you

Seungmin is just right there man

He’s got you trapped

His fingers brush over the soft palate of your arm, gently feeling about for a vein

Apparently he wants to be more careful and professional when he drugs you

For whatever reason

You’re back to being immobilized

It’s like your feet are stuck in blocks of cement

Oh dear Lord you’re gonna die ��_ಥ

This is it

He wants you dead

He’s gonna throw you and Lucas into some twisted vegetable soup and that’s going to be the end of it

And you may have thought that had it not been for the blue and red sirens flashing outside

Minnie turns around mid-prodding, an obvious cringe on his face, and then suddenly he’s tackled to the ground by none other than Big Brother of the Year Lucas oh praise Jesus you may live after all

Wow this guy is your hero

He’s weak and there’s blood all over his face, his breath heavy as he heaves out desperate words to you

“.....(y/n)........g-get out...s-side.........cops....will take...care of y-you...”

Welp, he don’t have to tell you twice

Through all this, he’s still trying to protect you. He’d been drugged, his face cut into, beaten senseless without warning, yet he was still trying to save you...like a guardian angel or something

...Wow, maybe the author should have made this a Seungmin x reader x Lucas instead hubba hubba

But unfortunately she’s spaghetti and swamped with updates so we’ll never know 🤪🍝

You fling yourself out the door and down the stairs as some officers have just broken down the front door, and you don’t grab no shoes or nothing Lord, you r u n outta that place, choosing to consult with a kind-looking female cop that’s waiting outside on standby

Frantically you gush out what’s going on as best you can, even though you’re not so sure what’s going yourself

Most importantly, you’re sure to tell her that Lucas is hurt first. He needs immediate medical attention from what you gathered in the faint street light pouring in the open window

She comforts you and assures you that they’re handling it, all the while wishing and hoping and praying with every fiber in your being you’ll wake up soon, any minute now...

...but unfortunately, you never do. The reality hits you when Lucas is carried out on a stretcher and Seungmin is forced out in handcuffs.

 ~~~

 You’re at the hospital with Lucas

Seungmin really did a number on him; after beating him black and blue, he pulled out a knife and nearly blinded him

Luckily it was dark and Lucas put up one heck of a fight. He wasn’t on three sports teams for nothing. 

He’d put up such a defensive display that Seungmin had just missed his left eye...sadly, though, he got the right one

Lucas lost half his eyesight because of you

You don’t know what to say...what to think, even

If only you hadn’t gone over there. If only you’d just stayed home...or...or maybe...

You swallow as tears begin to fall. What the heck were you supposed to do? You’d had no idea this would happen. You didn’t know things had gotten this bad...

...but you also kind of did

The poem? It was a warning

No

A threat

You’d been given a heads up long before, and you’d chosen to play dumb and ignore it

And now Lucas would have to be called Patchy for the rest of his life

The only Halloween options he’d ever have are Pirate or...parrot with an eyepatch

And it was all your fault

Thank God Seungmin had been arrested…

...Wait

Seungmin--

Omgosh

He’d been arrested. Kim Seungmin had been arrested.

Why was this just now hitting you so ha--

“Oh my gosh, my baby! (Y/n)!!”

Oop. Mama (Y/n) in the house.

Your mother comes charging in like a swarm of bees, enveloping you in her arms but also giving you a bit of a sting for lying to her like you did. Lucas’ parents had caught them up to speed already, your father glaring angrily but thankfully from the doorway. 

After hugging them both and explaining everything from your point of view, they agree to give you a few more minutes alone with Lucas before you’re grounded young lady no TV no video games no books well okay reading is important for your future but nothing enjoyable and no dessert. They also plan to have a serious discussion with you about Kim Seungmin as well. Great.

Not wanting to let you go your father drags your mom out, her protestant whimpering echoing down the hall and they retreat to discuss things further with Lucas’ parents.

Oi vey

What has all of this come to? What are you even doing? How did things get this bad…?

You turn your head slowly from across the room, examining the boy’s eye (or in some ways lack thereof) as you make your way back, settling carefully into the chair beside him.

𝑊𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡

𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑑

𝑆𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑑𝑠

𝐵𝑒𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑦 𝑔𝑜 𝑏𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑑...

...You now hate poetry

You’ll never read another sonnet ever again

“Hmn…”

!!

Lucas is waking up

It’s now five o’clock in the morning

You’re both dead tired, but you can only imagine how he must be feeling, being the one in the hospital bed…

……

...This is seriously all your fault

You hate yourself for it

You just

You just…

Ping!

There’s a text on your phone. You choose to ignore it, of course. Lucas is way more important right now than some Instagram or trivial weather update

Tenderly you reach, taking Lucas’ hand...or start to. You hover over it, wondering if you even deserve to be...if you even…

A warmth envelopes your fingers as Lucas takes them weakly into his own, the faintest smile present on his face. He carefully reaches up to pat the white surgical tape and bandages over the upper right half of his face. 

“...It’s never going to get any better, is it?” he asks.

You practically jump at the question: “No, it will. It definitely will.”

...Lying to him in order to not cause him any more panic is the best you can do for him now. Pathetic, but it’s better to remain hopeful, at least until he can handle it later.

His smile turns sad as he gazes at you with his one good eye. 

“I meant for you.”

……

“......”

You slowly shake your head no

He sighs, turning towards the fluorescent lights on the ceiling that have been dimmed to allow the patient on the other side to sleep. “I’m so sorry, (y/n). This is my fault. I should have just brought you to the police station, and they would have handled it professionally right then and there. I didn’t think...things had gotten this bad.” He squeezed with what little strength he had. “But I’m really glad you’re okay. Did he hurt you at all?”

……………

This man

Was lying in a hospital bed

Drugged

Bruised to a bloody pulp

He’d permanently lost sight in one eye

And he was worried

About you

->

So author, what was that about no love triangle going on here??

Smh

The only thing you can do is look downward, at the nightstand, the bedding, the far wall...anywhere that isn’t Lucas’ face right now

You don’t have it in you to accept his incredible kindness and heroic humility. You don’t even bother answering his question, except to mutter out, “thank you.”

 ~~~

 So what’s going on with Seungmin now?

Well, glad you asked

Cause you were just about to find out from a friendly sit down with three guest stars on the (Y/n)’s Chaotic Life show: Mom, Dad, and Officer Jenny

...No, not from the Pokemon TV series. Though you had to admit, the resemble was almost uncanny...not that this was anytime for jokes

“So,” Officer Jenny asks, pen and notepad in hand, “I’m sure you must be feeling many things right now, but let’s start from the beginning, if that’s alright. When did this all start?”

Your mom and dad just shared a look before turning to you, your mother gingerly patting and rubbing your knee. “Go ahead, sweetheart. Take your time.”

You take a deep breath and tell her everything you know. From the moment you first met Kim Seungmin, to the moment you first noticed him changing, to the events of some twenty-four hours ago. Your mother and father gave their piece as well, though really they claimed to be completely in the dark to any of Minnie’s chaotic and violent behavior, insisting he was always a sweet and well-behaved boy for as long as they’d know him. It was quite a shock finding out what he’d done.

Minnie…

…

Did you even still call him that? Would you? Could you?

He was practically a murderer. A complete psychopath. And you still had no idea why…

“So what do you think brought out this behavioral change?”

Your head snapped up from where it’d dropped downward, spacing out after having contributed your part of the story

Mom and Dad were glaring at you. Officer Jenny was waiting patiently.

But you had no idea what to say

Because you didn’t know

You didn’t

You didn’t…

...Did you?

Idiot.

바보

Does this sound familiar?

 “...I can’t do this anymore, (y/n)...not if you’re not going to listen to me or do as I say. It’s driving me crazy. Don’t you get it? Don’t you f***ing see how I feel about you? Have you really been so dense this whole f***ing time?!?”

“(Y/n). I need to know...tell me, do you…”

“...Do you feel the same way?”

 ...The part that scared you

The part that really scared you

Was that

You didn’t know…

 ~~~

 That night

After the talk show was wrapped up and everything was out in the open

Officer Jenny reassured your family that you were safe staying at home

Seungmin had been captured and a few officers had done a thorough investigation on your house to make sure there were no cameras or bombs or anything fishy like that

So it was essentially safe and there was no need to go the extra mile of changing identities and moving across the country

Except well

If you’re new to this story

You’re in for a bit of a shock because

Of course the author likes to shake things up :D <3

It wouldn’t be a story without something going wrong

And (Y/n) was just about to find out what that something was

It didn’t happen suddenly that night

Some time had gone by, about a week, maybe a week and a half

You were still pretty shaken up over the whole thing, and stuck in a mental state of Twilight Zone

You knew it was real but your brain almost refused to accept and process it

It was like a never-ending nightmare, too farfetched to be true

Because Lucas had to remain in the hospital for further examination and therapy, you brought all his school work to him

You’d taken a few days off yourself and then insisted you were fine to go back

You needed something to distract you from the reality

But, in reality, it only made it worse in some ways, students swarming you with questions and facility repeatedly asking if you were alright or needed a break

The only place you were allowed to go was the Student Council room, and Lord knows you did NOT want to be alone in that place again

Even though the school had already granted Lucas an extended leave of absence, he insisted you bring him a copy of your homework so he could “keep up with his studies”

But

In reality, he just wanted an excuse to see you. And you liked seeing him as well. It was nice to be in his company and check up on him, and he felt the same

When you weren’t at the hospital visiting and quote-quote “studying” with Lucas, you were either going through the motions on autopilot at school or sitting in your room, doing anything and everything to erase what had happened

That was, of course, easier said than done though

Often you found it hard being at home. It didn’t feel safe anymore knowing Seungmin had been here, so many times before, in the very room you sat in. Laughing with you, smiling, comforting or taking care of you…

He was everywhere. His laughter practically filled the walls and echoed down the corridors, his smile reflected in every glass sheen of sunlight

And when the lights flipped off, so did his expression. It was like you were reliving that horrific night all over again

You had to break out of there, your house and your mind

So you went to the park with a couple of new friends you’d made, Felix and Changbin. They were just as surprised as anyone else to learn what had become of Seungmin, and they’d actually been the first ones to shelter you and protect your privacy on your first day back, when your classmates started popping out of the woodwork to drown you in questions and condolences

As you may or may not have guessed, you’d gotten a new phone, during the Officer Jenny visit, along with a new number

After sh*t had really hit the fan, though, you’d become much less social, only registering your parents, Officer Jenny’s number by request, Lucas, and the day after, Felix and Binnie. Despite your previous crush on Jaemin, that had all but flown out the window and exploded upon colliding with a powerline, and you’re pretty sure after he heard what happened, he probably felt the same

And anyway, again, you’d become much less social since the whole incident. You really didn’t feel like talking to anyone unless it was your parents or these three boys. Maybe Jenny if there was some kind of emergency, which you sincerely hoped there wouldn’t be

...I’m pretty sure that covers everything

Yeah

So

You were now at the park with Felix and Changbin

Just strolling aimlessly, you in the middle with Felix to your left and Binnie on the right

Your two bodyguards

Felix, you’d come to find out, was a professional at taekwondo, which was nice

And though Changbin was rather on the short side, just his looks and voice alone was intimidating enough

So you felt relatively safe in their company, taking a quiet stroll at sundown

The park was mostly vacant save for a few late-evening joggers or cyclist passing by

Birds and squirrels and other wildlife were just getting settled in their nests for the night, the owls and probably a raccoon or two taking their place

The three of you walked at a steady pace, hands behind your back or shoved in your pockets as you stared straight ahead, at the sidewalk, or the surrounding forest life

...It was peaceful but a little awkward

Probably because you all had the same thing on your minds

Something you all knew you needed to talk about, but had been avoiding to spare an awkward conversation

Instead now there was nothing but Awkward Silence™

“So,” Felix spoke up after your second and a half time around, smiling awkwardly. “How are you feeling today?”

Both boys looked at you. You gave them each a short stare in return before shrugging just as uncomfortably. You knew you needed to talk about Seungmin, but you’d left your house to escape him, not engage him elsewhere.

After a few more paces you noticed the two had fallen a bit behind, muttering to each other in hushed tones:

“She probably doesn’t wanna talk about this right now. Why did you bring it up?”

“Yeah...I dunno, I didn’t know how else to break it in. Sorry...”

“Apologize to her, not me! We’re trying to ease it in, not break her.”

“That’s what I said, bro.”

“...No, you said-- never mind, just go do something.”

“Like what?”

“Like apologize! Am I the only one that knows how girls operate?”

“...Says the man that’s been single the entire senior ye--”

“Shut up and go talk to her!!”

At that point you heard a shove behind you, and Felix came stumbling back up to your left, Binnie steadily catching back up on the right. He gave you a calm and peaceful smile while occasionally casting eyes at Felix expectantly.

Felix took a deep breath while he scratched the side of his head, looking up at the sky for a second before tossing his whole gaze down on you. It almost caught you off guard how intense and smoldering it all was

“(Y/n)...listen, Changbin and I were thinking-- …”

He opened his mouth, but no words came. Instead he pointed toward the restaurant district of town. 

“...You wanna grab dinner after this?”

You blinked. Changbin facepalmed, a small groan escaping him.

But then all your stomachs growled, answering the question for you. You couldn’t help but smile, even just a little, as the other two laughed and the three of you headed off toward the nearby city lights.

Your phone gave a small ping! as a notification came up, but you failed to notice it thanks to the nearby rustling of what you assumed was active forest life, a stray cat or maybe a mouse

You had no idea how wrong you were.

 ~~~

 I know, things are starting to get a little slow

Just bear with me, okay?

Cause we’re about to pick up big time

Spoiler alert?

Oops

Anyway

You were now sitting at a small, quiet, but decently populated restaurant

There were a fair number of customers but it wasn’t overcrowded at all, more of a cozy cafe styled place

It was the compromise Changbin insisted you all agree on, he being the most vocally worried about your mental state. He didn’t want you to be overwhelmed by all the noise and chaos of some famous barbecue joint or a popular family restaurant, so after you insisted you could handle it and would be fine (he had been pitching the idea of just grabbing some food to-go and heading back to his place), the boys let you pick a cafe you often passed by on the way to school but never got a chance to try

...until now

Ironically and thankfully they were a particularly special cafe that served dinner because the author said so yeehaw B))

So yes, you’re all sitting at a small booth off to the side, Changbin on one end, you and Felix curled up on the other. You order your food and as you’re waiting, Changbin and Felix are locked in some dumb debate about a few of their other friends while flicking straw wrappers back and forth. They tried to get you in on it at first but, seeing that you’re still in a weird place, decided to leave the invitation open if you wanted to join.

Everything is just so weird right now. You’re still in the Twilight Zone. It just doesn’t seem real at all…

The whole spectacle refuses to leave your mind. You’re coming to accept you can’t get away from it no matter what you try.

Kim Seungmin, from the moment you met him, has always been a part of you. And he always would be. It was just going to be weird from now on because...because…

Ping!

Your phone again?

Honestly it had kind of been doing that a lot before but you’ve been ignoring it because, again, you’re not much for talking to people right now. Or getting involved with any social media events or news flashes or...or uh…

……………………..

Huh??

There’s...a message. From Lucas?

Bro when did he get his phone back tho

You’d been communicating through his mum and the hospital when you weren’t there cause patients can’t have phones so like

Nani the heck??

Wait

Maybe this was good

Maybe he was being discharged early

The treatment had gone well and--

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖧𝖾𝗒! 𝖨 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝖺 𝖿𝖺𝗏𝗈𝗋.

Oh? A favor you say?

You were so there. You kinda owed Lucas your life after what happened.

𝖸𝗈��: 𝖮𝖿 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾! 𝖶𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝖨 𝖽𝗈 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄𝗌 :) 𝖶𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗐? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨’𝗆 𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗉𝗅𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌. 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽𝗌? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖸𝖾𝖺𝗁 𝖼: 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗂𝗋 𝗇𝖺𝗆𝖾𝗌

> - > Bro why he wanna know tho--

Okay whatever

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖥𝖾𝗅𝗂𝗑 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖢𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖻𝗂𝗇? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒 𝗅𝗈𝗅 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝗇𝗈 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒

………..

*gulp*

It’s not?

Why

Why isn’t this okay

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖶𝗁𝗒 𝗇𝗈𝗍? :𝟢 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖨 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖢𝖺𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗇𝗈𝗐? 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖴𝗁, 𝗒𝖾𝖺𝗁 𝖨 𝗀𝗎𝖾𝗌𝗌? 𝖢𝖺𝗇 𝗂𝗍 𝗐𝖺𝗂𝗍 𝗍𝗂𝗅 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗌? 𝖨 𝖼𝖺𝗇 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗂𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾

Lucas is typing a reply as your food is being set down, the boys cheering and mouths watering while all you can do is nervously glare at your new phone.

Seriously, what was wrong with Lucas? He wasn’t in danger, was he?

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖨’𝖽 𝗋𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗐. 𝖯𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗌𝖾. :(

…

Y’know, this don’t really sound like Lucas

All of this is hella sus sis

But you’re so worried about him anyway, and so distracted by the excuses running through your mind that he could be on medication or what if it really is an emergency that you instead grab your coat and are just about to tell Felix to yeet when something else catches your eye

Ooooooooh boy

Ooooooooh bro

Ooooooooh buddy

It’s uh

Well

All those previous notifications

They’re all news articles and the like, as you already had guessed they’d be

Most of them aren’t very important: Attorney so-and-so does this, City of Hoopla does that, Guy Catches Phone on Roller Coaster, band drops new album and it’s a huge hit, yada-yada-yada

But there’s this one

This one in particular

That nearly makes you break down and cry

I mean

You’re close to screaming sis

It’s pretty bad

You probably know what it is already

Yep: you guessed it

 KXX News: Local Malefactor Escapes [Your Town] Jail; Police Baffled

 ...Okay

Y/n

Y/n--

Don’t freak out y/n

Deep breath sis

Deeeeeeeep breath

Breath nice and deep now…

Oop too late you’re already panicking

Hell I would too sis :( This is some bad juju

But

It’s going to be okay

...Maybe

I mean

You are kinda having a panic attack right now?

But don’t panic bc it’s going to be…

...you just passed out so I’ll be switching povs now

I’ll sort of summarize too since this is about you and - h i m - anyway

Basically you totally black out, the restaurant/cafe panics a bit (the few people who happen to notice) but Felix manages to catch you (thank goodness you were still seated at the booth so you just toppled over on his shoulder more or less)

In five seconds Binnie and Felix come up with a game plan where Felix carries you outside, trying to look as natural as possible, Binnie taking care of the check.

They argue and walk laps around the cafe about whether or not to take you home or the hospital

Home

Hospital

Home?

Hospital!

But when you start to come to, they agree it’s best to get you home to your mother

You fall in and out of consciousness all the way there, the only thing flooding your mind being the faintest scent of lavender and Spring: and Kim Seungmin.

 ~~~

 You were honestly a little surprised when you finally woke up

You were sure seeing those words in that news headline, all in one coherent sentence, was going to be the death of you

I mean, he did want you dead, didn’t he?

He…

…

Sigh

You don’t know

You have no idea what’s really happening

A reoccuring theme in this story

You dunno

You just

Don’t

Know 

:)))

But it’s going to be okay because--

Ping!

SCREECH \(ϾAϿ)/ 💦

Bro

Bro man

Your phone almost gave you a heart attack

A real one this time

Oof

Oi

Oi vey to hell and back

All of this is really getting to be too much man

You dunno if-- ...well

We done went over this already

You don’t know anything anymore 🙄😔

I mean

What even is life anyway??

You roll over on your bed to snatch the phone on your nightstand, an eerie feeling in your gut

Whether that’s from the fact you’re still recovering or you’re terrified it has something to do with everyone’s favorite Dandy Boy is a toss up

It could also have been the few nibbles of food you’d managed to have before zonking out…

...actually no scratch that, you were still pretty hungry. Which was a good sign, honestly

It meant you were already recovering well and most likely not gonna die

(ღ˘⌣˘)

That was always nice, y’know, not dying <3

So anyway

You glare at the lock screen in the dark, the brightness blinding you for a moment as you’re squinting and fumbling to turn it down

And when you do

You see there’s another message

A message from Lucas 

Oop. You forgot about him in your whole fainting episode

Hope he’s okay--

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖸/𝗇. 𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝗆 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗍𝗈𝗅𝖽 𝗆𝖾 𝗐𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗉𝖾𝗇𝖾𝖽. 𝖨 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝗐𝖾𝗅𝗅. 𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝗀𝗈𝗍𝗍𝖺 𝗐𝖺𝗋𝗇 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝖻𝗈𝖽𝗒 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝗀𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖺 𝗀𝗈 𝗌𝗄𝗂𝗍𝗓𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍, 𝗁𝖺𝗁𝖺

e-e

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨’𝗆 𝗌𝗈 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒, 𝖨 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗂𝗌𝖾 𝖨’𝗆 𝗈𝗄𝖺𝗒 

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖣𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗌𝖾𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎?

It takes a minute for him to respond.

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖭𝗈, 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒 𝖺𝖻𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗂𝗍. 𝖸𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗍.

And then…

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖨’𝗅𝗅 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎.

…

Uhhh

He’ll what now?

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖣𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗀𝗈 𝖺𝗇𝗒𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾. 𝖨 𝗐𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝖻𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀.

UHHH

wat

Sis honestly

what?

Lucas you ho what are you doin you’re sick

Sorta

You on them drugs boy

You needa be staying yer ass in bed so you can--

Ping!

Again? 

Oh now what does this crazy bish want??

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖲𝗈𝗋𝗋𝗒! 𝖩𝗎𝗌𝗍 𝗈𝗇𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗏𝗈𝗋 𝖨 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽 ��𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗒𝗈𝗎

Uh

Sure? What is it??

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖮𝗄𝖺𝗒?? 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: :)) 𝖳𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄𝗌 𝗒/𝗇 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖦𝗈 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗅𝗈𝗌𝖾𝗍 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖽𝗈𝗈𝗋.

………………………………………………………….

Bro man

……

Okay you know what

This is a little too weird

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖨𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗐𝖺𝗇𝗍 𝗆𝖾 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝗈𝗇𝗈” 

𝖫𝗎𝖼𝖺𝗌: 𝖸𝖾𝖺𝗁, 𝖼𝗁𝗈𝖼𝗈𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾? 𝖨𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝗅𝖾𝖿𝗍 𝗅𝗈𝗅

oooOOOOOH

Oooooh man what a relief

If you’ll recall

Cause ik it’s been a hot minute

In the last episode (Light Switch 1) it was Valentine’s Day

He just wants something sweet =7=” Bro you know that jello sh*t they serve in them hospitals must be nasty af

He just wants some good stuff is all

Who doesn’t want chocolate when they’re sick? Or sad?

But author eating chocolate when you’re sick isn’t good for you do you want to die

Hey bro bold of you to assume--

...anyway

𝖸𝗈𝗎: 𝖮𝗁, 𝗈𝖿 𝖼𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌𝖾! 𝖨 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗅𝗈--

…

Hold on

Wait just another hot minute

…

Sis how he know you keep chocolate in your closet??

He wasn’t here when you shoved everything in there

Heck he ain’t ever been in your house once

…

Enough ellipses you’re just gonna go for it

Screw it

It’s just Lucas

He probs just assumed it was a cliche or normal thing to do

You really needed to stop overthinking things and just

Do It ✔™

So you do it

You walk to your closet and open the door

…

Well you start to anyway

On the way over something catches your eye now that your sight’s adjusted

You make your way to your desk, where a stack of letters and junk flyers are just sitting there taking up space and making the room look trashy

You’re easily distracted at times, and a bit nosy, so you pick up the first flyer on the stack to figure out what it is

Such-and-So’s Pool Service!1!1 We clean--

Yeah okay you don’t care

About that anyway

What you do care about, or what piques your interest rather, is the date

It’s labeled as being delivered almost two weeks ago

…

All of the letters and junk mail are labeled as being delivered two weeks ago

…

You’re about to set them all back down when you see something flapping beneath the gentle circulation of the ceiling fan

A Post-It note?

A Post-It note

It says…

   It doesn’t matter what it says

Because you’d recognize that handwriting anywhere, after all the notes he’d written you

It’s from Minnie 

𝐼 𝑡𝘩𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑦𝑜𝑢’𝑑 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑏𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑙 𝑖𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑢𝑐𝘩 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑖𝑟𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒? ;) 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑙𝑦, 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑎𝑧𝑦! -- 𝐾𝑆 <𝟥  

𝑃.𝑠. - 𝑀𝑎𝑦𝑏𝑒 𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑒𝑥𝑐𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑛𝑒𝑥𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑎 𝑐𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑚𝑒. 𝑁𝑜𝑡 𝑡𝘩𝑎𝑡 𝑖𝑡’𝑠 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟. 

Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths

He was here

He’d been here

He’d come here the night before--

He’d known

You were such a dumdum

Of course you should have known one of your parents would call. Probably your mom-

UGH

WHAT IS THIS LIFE OF YOURS?!

Okay

But

He was arrested so it’s fine

No wait

He got out

He…

...He got out ._.”

And you

Were

Home

Rn??

……………………

Okay time to get those chocolates and move move move

Just make a small right turn and

Ca-chunk.

……………………………………………………

The closet door just...opens

A familiar figure stepping out from the shadows

He’s wearing his favorite striped blue t-shirt and faded blue jeans

And he’s holding a rose between his teeth

He removes it with a muffled sigh, tossing it back into the closet

“I wanted to surprise you but, I should have known it’s just like you to get easily sidetracked.”

He shoves a phone into his pocket

Lucas’ phone.

He smiles.

“Did you miss me?”

 He paces over to you, touching your face

Stroking it softly with ghost-like fingers

It’s...cold and somehow oddly comforting at the same time

Sending you down a trail of mixed signals and warning signs all over again

But you can’t move

He’s backing you up against the desk--

Wait yes you can move

You gotta get out of here. Don’t think. Just get out.

Scream! Yell! Do something!

You scream. He places a hand over your mouth, shoving you back down against the desk. His breath is hot against your skin from where he hovers over you just inches, centimeters away…

...Maybe you should have gone for using a brain cell or two instead

“Why are you doing this again? Why do you have to be so difficult all the time?”

You’re struggling but he must have been hitting up the gym again cause this beach is strong

He’s rambling things to you under his breath, but with the pounding in your ears it’s hard to make out everything he’s saying

Oh dear Lord in heaven you have to get out of here

Use your brain cells y/n use your brain cells

PLS

He’s forcing you both to stand upright. He pulls you so hard that the momentum causes the desk to sway, a drawer popping open

A drawer containing your knife. The same knife Seungmin had given you.

He wanted you to sever some bonds?

Okay, you could do that alright

Braincells: Activate!

You go for it

Raising a knee to his xxxx, you shove him back with all your feeble might and snatch that bad boy, whirling around to slash your way out of here if you have to

But somehow Seungmin has become a Superhuman™ and he parries your attack, twisting your arms behind your back and slamming you back down onto the desk

You almost hear him grimace as you cry out in pain, like he’s in just as much turmoil as you

And before you know it a rag is held up over your face, Seungmin gently laying his cheek against yours. Somehow in the span of time all this was going on, he’d managed to throw a mask over his face...

“I’m so sorry, y/n...I never wanted it to come to this...I was hoping to take you quietly…

...But it’s also not my fault you’re so damn difficult all the time.”

Moonlight streaming in through the curtain was blurring together, your thoughts slowly growing more and more incoherent

A scream still caught in your throat, the last thing you recall is again the scent of lavender and Spring daisies. Except it was much stronger now, because that scent was now carrying you somewhere up, up, and away…

 ~~~

 The faint sound of laughter is what awakens you for the 47294907204 time

Seriously how many more times were you gonna clock out like jeez

Not to over exaggerate but man alive

…

……

………

You’re blinking up at the ceiling when it all comes back to you

Seungmin

Your room

Kim Seungmin

Your closet

Minnie

You being carried away somewhere…

It doesn’t take you long to throw yourself up right, but when you do you instantly regret the action, as a splitting headache takes hold of your cranial

It causes you to wince, reaching both hands up to grab your skull...which are, surprisingly...rather heavy…

…

Holy frick and frack you’ve been chained

Your wrists

There are cuffs around them

And you’re literally connected to a bedpost

…………

You swallow

This isn’t good

It’s not good at all

What the heck is going on now…?

You gotta examine your surroundings. You need to stop being in the dark all the time

Time to flip on a light switch brother

Let’s see

You’re sitting in a bed

Your bed

…

Wait

Your bed?

That can’t be right

You distinctly remember, despite the running gag of you not knowing anything, that Minnie had hoisted you off somewhere

He’d deadass climbed out the window or something

You look up and around next

…

It was unmistakable

This was your room: here was your bed, your bookshelf, your desk, TV, closet…

Even your stuffed animals and stationery was here. Exactly as you’ve always had it.

Except, normally your bed was on the right side of the room. Currently, it was on the left

So it was like

A parallel of your bedroom

A weird mirrored version, like you’d stepped through the looking glass…

...You supposed essentially, in some ways, you already had. Starting around high school.

Argh

This was really bad

You had to get out of here

Thankfully the chains were pretty long, so your movement wasn’t too restricted and you could move around for the most part as normal

If you had to guess, you could probably make it about halfway across the room before you ran out of chain

……

A thought you’d never thought you’d be having

Swiftly, you raise the sheets to check your legs

They’re free, save for a few bruises. Yours arms are in worse shape with twice as many and these damned heavy cuff links

This was honestly an outrage

And hella dehumanizing

You weren’t sure what was scarier: the fact that you were sitting in a mirror copy of your bedroom chained like an animal, or the fact that Minnie had done this

…

Seungmin

No more Minnie

He was Seungmin now

Maybe even just Kim

Because you would no longer have any ties to him after this

He was long gone now

It was over

Bam!

“Hahahahahahahaha!”

Oh gosh

IT REALLY IS OVER

HE’S HERE

WHAT WAS—

Wait was that laughter just now?

It sounded...familiar…

As in

Recorded

…

You strained your ears, holding your breath a moment

If you focused really hard

You could just barely hear it

Voices. Sound effects. More audio laughter.

Someone was watching TV

That or Seungmin had sold you to a circus act

Which might have been preferable actually because you really didn’t know if he wanted you dead or not

I mean

On one hand

Why would someone go to so much trouble to make an exact replica of your bedroom?

But on another

There were some major sickos out there…

And you really could never tell what he was thinking

…

No, no, no y/n

No tears

We’re not going to cry

Big girl pants big girl pants

We’re going to get ourselves out of here and hop on the first plane to a new country

Move to Switzerland and start a cute little sheep farm

Change your name to Olga

Marry a huge scary-looking huntsman that was actually very sweet

And spend the rest of your days baking apple pies and schnitzel and shaving wool from sheep to knit fluffy sweaters and sell them on the Swiss version of Amazon

Yeah something like that

Everything was going to be a-o—

“You’re awake.”

ACAHNDUSLILIAHDSLINUFARJDSA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It’s Kim Seungmin

He’s standing in the doorway

You didn’t even hear the door open

He takes two steps in before pausing to admire what a mess you probably look like

Only to him, you’ve never looked more beautiful

You don’t know this of course, but in his mind: you’re stunning

I mean, absolutely breathtaking

Sitting here in the room he worked so hard putting together for you

Your hair a wind-blown bed-mangled mess the way you toss and turn in your sleep sometimes

The natural glow that radiates off your face when you’re not wearing any makeup

The shine from the rays of faint sunrise as they hit your tear-stained face

It’s a work of art

What he’s worked for since he first laid eyes on you all those years ago

He’s wanted this so badly for such a long time

And it’s finally happening

He’s finally gotten what he’s pined for all this time: you

All that time he took getting to know you, forming a bond, taking measurements and pictures and writing down numbers, formulating the perfect plan

It may not have gone exactly how he imagined it would, but it’d still produced the same results. You were now, finally, his. All that was left to do was to clean you of any ties you had to your past life, and then the war would be over. The climax had come and gone. It was all downhill from here.

He told himself over and over again, that this is what he’d wanted...but yet

A part of him felt almost guilty for some reason

Of course he was happy, but also

…

It this really what he’d wanted?

He wanted to celebrate

But

Though you looked so beautiful

He also didn’t like seeing you so sad

…

It was fine

You just had to get adjusted, that was all

It’s hard being whisked off from one place to another

In a few days you’d be all settled in and then you could both celebrate being happy and alone together

You’d realize what a wonderful thing he had done for the both of you and thank him

And he’d never have to worry about anyone touching you or so much as looking at you ever again

You’d be his special treasure

Something he’d be able to look forward to coming home to each and every day after he landed his dream job as a photographer

Of course, you’d never get to accomplish the goals you’d told him about for your life, but…

That wouldn’t matter after a little time had passed, once you realized you only needed rely on him from now on

And there would be lots of fun things to do at home, he’d make sure of it

He’d take good care of you, here at his father’s old cabin house

And no one would be any the wiser because his parents were scarcely ever home

They were never around, always traveling from one place to another. He’d learned to take care of himself when he was 13, and from then on had been fiercely and undeniably independent

He really hadn’t seen or heard from his parents since, they’d just left him with the house and sent monthly checks to take care of the bills. If he thought hard enough, the last memory he had of his mother was probably at an unexpected Christmas visit when he was 15

And after that, nada

So as one could guess, his life had been very lonely…

Of course, he’d normally preferred being alone and if he was bored, he had Felix and Changbin to check up on him

But that all changed the moment he laid eyes on you

Oh sure, he’d seen you before that fateful rainy afternoon. When he actually bothered showing up to class. But…

Catching you alone that day was like a sign to him

He’d been wandering the back alleys as he normally did

On his way home, he realized he’d forgotten one of his cameras at school

So he had to make a detour to get it

He really wanted to take some shots of the coming storm for a new collection he’d been working on

On the way over, it wouldn’t leave his mind that something was missing…

He needed a host, a muse, a character

Some sort of other life force to give breath to the photographs

They were fine as they were

But just fine wasn’t fine for him

He could do better

Surely there was something—

...Drat. They’d already locked the doors.

He’d have to hoist himself in through a window now—

 ...And there you were.

He couldn’t explain it

He’d seen you before, sure, rarely, on occasion. But you’d just been a passing figure in the sea of endless faces

Now you were more than that. You were the figure, the face, the missing piece he’d been searching for

But he knew how fickle the human race was. So he’d have to play coy and civil before going in for the kill

If he turned out not to like you, he could always toss you back out into the sea

But the moment he swooped down to catch you from that (minorly hysterical) fall, he’d felt it. The missing spark he’d been waiting for all along.

He couldn’t take his eyes away. You were simply too real, too alive, too beautiful and unwavering

Yet shy and clean and simple all the same

It was a perfect paradox

An acute conundrum 

And he was loving every second of it

He knew, in that moment, that he had to 

As cringey as it sounds

That he had to make you his

And now you were...almost

It was just a bit further before he reached the light at the end of the tunnel

He’d never be lonely or lost for inspiration again

Because he’d have you

And that was all he needed...

 𝑇𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒𝑑...𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛 ♥

[rosaguard]

summer waxes poetically about her favorite aeris gainsborough ships:

i never reblogged that five ships meme because...well i don’t have five aeris ships i care about lol. however, i was challenged(tm) so here is something close to it. i do feel like it is fitting to make this post on here since aeris was actually the first muse i truly started writing a ship on after asking someone first ( and i had been writing on tumblr for like...5 years on and off before that for context. anything before that was just..maybe flirting - nothing i felt invested in ).

aeris & happiness.

   the most important ship. the OTP. no other can compare. i think the biggest tragedy of aeris’ death is that so much was taken from her. she had so much to live for, so much to do, and her life was brutally and suddenly ripped away when she was finally getting the chance to figure herself out and rise to her full potential. i don’t want to aeris to die in the remake ( especially because everything about the whispers would’ve felt like a waste of time if nothing significant changes and aeris living is probably as significant as you can get ) but if it happens, it happens - i’ll just be really sad and disappointed by it lol. i’ve always been very clear that aeris’ death is not a bad one despite my blog canon essentially retconning it. there’s a reason she dies and it’s not to further cloud’s man pain ( he had enough of his own trauma already ); she dies because she’s a legitimate threat to sephiroth’s plans. she’s actually an example of a character death, especially a female one, done incredibly well, especially compared to SE’s recent output ( serah, luna, etc. ). also anyone who says she was created just to die is also wrong. barret was originally written to die first and they decided to change it.

    anyway, the point of me bringing all of this up is that i didn’t decide to do away with her death because i think SE sucks and they hate women. i did away with it because a lot of aeris’ character development ( her learning about the cetra at cosmo canyon, figuring out what the white materia does, etc ) is implied / off-screen since we never know her point of view and then well...she dies. i wanted to explore what her feelings would be if she woke up alive after being attacked while meteor is slowly drawing closer to the planet. how would she handle that? how would she feel? would she feel like a failure? would she be angry? what would she do after meteor is destroyed? would she travel the world? join the w.r.o? tell everyone to fuck off and then move to a cottage in the middle of nowhere and live the rest of her life in peace? these are the questions i wanted answered when i thought about aeris living. i don’t care if she ends up with cloud, or zack, or whoever because they don’t matter: aeris matters. she’s her own person with goals, desires, wishes, and more. no one talks about what she would want and do if she had lived. all people care about is what ‘man’ she belongs to as if she’s a prize to be exchanged between them.

   the second reason is simple that she fucking deserves it. she deserves it after living in a lab for 7 years and watching her mother die just trying to get her out. she deserves after having to deal with being stalked by the same company responsible for a lot of her suffering. she deserves to finally be around friends that make her feel loved, accepted, and cared for. she deserves to not feel alone, or like an outcast, or a freak because of her powers. she deserves to be able to go to icicle inn too and see footage of her father for the first time. she deserves to be able to go back to kalm and see her mom again. she deserves to live happily just like everyone else gets to do. her life has been filled with so much tragedy and pain yet she never lets it define her. she blooms in the face of adversity. she keeps smiling even up until the end of her life. she deserves happiness as her end-game and if i don’t get it in canon, i’m going to create it here myself.

aeris & cloud.

    i disliked this ship for a long time. it actually wasn’t because of the ship itself but due to some of my experiences with the shippers. i won’t go into my fandom experiences but i ran an account dedicated to ti.fa for almost six years so i’ve seen how...unpretty both sides of the 'ship war’ can get and it turned me off. a lot. when i decided to write aeris, i immediately started a replay of the the original game with an ‘aeris-lens’ ( analyzing her character, her relationships, making sure i got her date, etc. ). it made me look at her relationship with cloud in a different light since i had never really paid attention to it as heavily before since i avoided the ship tbh. i ended up enjoying their dynamic a lot. they have a natural chemistry with each other but there’s also this unspoken distance between them which is fully intentional - she has her own walls up and he has his. 

    they have a very ‘tragic love’ since well...she dies before anything can fully go to the next level. their relationship in canon is a very ‘what if’ and as a result, i often see people who don’t like the ship claim that they wouldn’t work because aeris wouldn’t be able to ‘deal’ with cloud and would’ve left. to be blunt, this a bad take considering supporting one another is prevalent throughout their relationship: 

aeris: i learned a lot. the elders taught me many things. about the cetra... and the promised land... i'm...... alone... i'm all alone now... cloud: but i'm...... we're here for you, right? aeris: i know. i know, but... i am the only...... cetra. cloud: does that mean we can't help?

cloud: ...i gave the black materia to sephiroth...? wha... what did I do... tell me, aeris. aeris: cloud... be strong, ok? He writhes and clutches his head. cloud urrrrrrgh... what have I done!? aeris: cloud... you haven't done anything. it's not your fault.

cloud: yeah, I hear you. sorry for what happened. aeris: don't worry about it. cloud: ...i can't help it... aeris: oh... then, why don't you REALLY worry about it? and let me handle sephiroth. and cloud, you take care of yourself. so you don't have a breakdown, okay?

    the remake only reinforces everything i like about their relationship: their banter is great, aeris gently takes his hand during one of his ‘moments’ and supports him, she confides in him about talking to her flowers, and he never treats her differently ( which is a big deal when just two nights before, he told someone to ‘get help’ when they claimed they could hear the planet lol ). they have so much in common as well: they both have struggled with loneliness, being an outcast, and not having a lot of friends. i’ll always find it incredibly interesting how cloud is repeatedly not invited to be apart of group functions in the remake ( he wasn’t allowed to celebrate with avalanche and had to sit outside jessie’s house as the others ate pizza ) until he met aeris and she invited him to have dinner with her and her mom. despite the ‘bodyguard’ dynamic to their relationship, they always feel like equals to me.

aeris: today’s special!!! cloud: why? aeris: because i met you, you dumb binch!!!

aeris: *says cryptic stuff and tells him that they can’t fall in love* ( i’m saying they because apparently in japanese / other languages she says ‘we can’t fall in love’, not just ‘you can’t fall in love with me’. ) cloud: uh....how about i do anyway??? also i’m saving you so...see you tomorrow at 11. bye.

me: their relationship never gets to a serious level because the opportunity was taken away from them de to unfortunate circumstances. 

also me: they’re just just...dumb and in love!!!! i’m sorry, that’s just the way it is!!!! she literally tells him that meeting him again was special to her and the silly boi doesn’t get it!!!! one of the composers of the game even said a tracks that plays with them is meant to have a romantic vibe!! when she pulls away from him, he reaches out for her because he doesn’t want her to let go!! the lyrics of hollow is literally ‘this time i’ll never LET YOU GO’ AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

    anyway, i’ve also noticed this weird trend in the fandom where it feels like cloud is never allowed to just has his own dedicated feelings about aeris - and i’m not even talking about romantic feelings. i feel like whenever there is talk about cloud’s relationship with za.ck or ti.fa, no one inserts aeris into it. they’re allowed to have their individual relationships with him yet with aeris it feels like you cannot talk about how much she meant to him and vice versa without other characters being thrown in. i don’t know if it’s because of shipping and people don’t want to acknowledge that like...characters can have feelings for multiple people or what but the reality is that cloud did feel something for her. she did mean a lot to him; so much so that he slept in her church two years after she was dead and went to her burial place alone. he missed her.  maybe it was just as a friend, maybe it was because of something more but i really dislike how their relationship and importance to each other, regardless of whether it’s platonic or romantic, is constantly invalidated.

aeris & gene.

     when kas / @castershot first created channels for gene and aeris in our rp server last year, i honestly did not think these two would have a serious relationship at all. i figured maybe they would have a fling or something at best / aeris would be the equivalent of a filler character in a few episodes of the show and then they would go their separate ways. ...that didn’t happen but i’m glad it didn’t! i didn’t know a gosh diddly darn thing about outlaw star but i’m very good at researching and aggressively reading wikis so i was able to whip up a verse ( and someone who watched the show thought i had actually watched it after reading my verse so i guess i did a darn good job! ). anyway, i feel like when writing aeris it’s very easy to...hmm...fall into very certain dynamics and considering gene’s line of work ( doing odd jobs, being a bodyguard for hire, a general jack of all trades ), i didn’t want it to be the ‘he’s a bodyguard, she gets protected, blah blah blah’ dynamic but in space. so their relationship ( at least in my head - there’s a lot going on in there tbh!!! ) basically became somewhat of a deconstruction of cl.erith + ( bad ) stereotypes about aeris in general:

      what if the helpless flower girl that needs saving from the big bad corporation is actually a liar who works for said corporation and was sent by them to retrieve something important(tm) and eliminate anyone that gets in her way? what if aeris, a secret member of the turks, has become so desensitized when interacting with other people since she is constantly wearing a mask and she can’t tell if she’s genuinely falling for someone or if her acting is just so good that even she can’t tell what’s real or fake anymore? what if i took all those bad takes about aeris knowing she would die, flip it, and actually make it so that she does know and still goes alone anyway because she wants to save lives for once instead of being the person who takes them away!!

me: imagine the drama!!! the angst!!! kas, casually: [redacted name b/c of spoilers] would just bring her back to life. me: WHAT?! >:(

apparently one character in the show is casually just GOD and can revive people so they can come back like:

    my bubble was BURST. dreams DASHED. plans CRUSHED. dramatics aside, i still kept the idea of her dying because i do like the take of a more secretly jaded / not as ‘pure’ aeris that works for shinra and has to basically relearn how to trust / care about others again + i live to attack kas and all of her muses. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.  anyway, the point is that i love them and they’re a dynamic i’m very invested in the more times passes. they’re both so stupid and passionate and loud ( the first in character thing i wrote when i remade this blog was them screaming at each other in an argument ) but they’re also sensitive, don’t open up to others easily, and have trauma!! oof x 100.

me: this ship won’t be serious lol the ship, months later: may or may not have a thread with them going on a date. may or may not have gone to ti.fa and cloud’s wedding together ( where kissafist’s tif.a may or may not threaten to smash his balls in if he doesn’t treat aeris right. *smash em, rip em plays in the distance as aeris aggressively laughs nervously* ), they may or may not get married and have twins that may or may not be named ren and rose. me: clown putting on make up.png

so yea, they’ve come a long way(tm).

the end.

[angelicspaceprince]

Good Omens SFW Alphabet - Beelzebub

Hey all! They are finally here!

Tagging: @snake-cadaver, @pigeonpanhandle, @galaxymoo, @artistxalex, @leviackermanisakangaroo, @nanashinanashi, @sporktato, @thefluffypancake, @astrangefairy, @crazykrakenking, @iamsuperconfusedallthetime, @vessel02, @fuckingnonions, @autumdragon, @dreamerkim, @nappingturtle, @brielarsonwasmy-lesbianawakening, @dapper-gamzee, @i-am-praying-for-the-wicked, @bookedforevermore, @godhateskyleigh, @rebeccacnt, @xs1nister, @whydoihurtsomuch, @an-emergency-contact, @scpdragon, @1copinori, @trelaney, @annalrk, @kawaii--anon, @socially-unaccepptable-dameron

Headcanons:

·         A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Beelzebub doesn’t really like to show affection in a physical manner, especially around other demons, angels or humans. Their love language is most definitely words of affirmation, acts of service and quality time, the latter two more than the first. Beelzebub shows how they feel about you by simply making sure to spend time with you, or by completing tasks and using miracles to make your day easier.

·         B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) There’d be a lot of complaining about how Hell was going, discussing about how they will be just so happy once the apocalypse is over and done with, but is also very protective. You complain about an ex or someone who has been taking advantage of you, in whatever way? They would get a special visit from a certain demon of hell.

·         C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Not the most physically affectionate person that you know. Doesn’t not like a cuddle, but definitely is not one to seek it out. You have to ask before you initiate every time and have to tell them what you find comfortable and what you don’t want at that particular time. They do prefer to face you whilst you hug because they like to read your face and make sure what they are doing is not making you feel uncomfortable.

·         D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) No. Definitely not. Beelzebub does feel affection towards you (not love, demons are incapable of love apparently) but they know it’s only temporary. And a demon settling down with a human? Real bad PR. There is no settling down and probably not going to help with the cooking and cleaning. The two of you are just spending time together and enjoying every second. Maybe, if you ended up in Hell, Beelzebub would pull a few strings, so you could still see them and continue your relationship and from there perhaps settle down as much as two demons can, but definitely not whilst you are human.

·         E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Emotionlessly and like a band aid. Pretty much is like ‘your usefulness to me has ceased and, as such, I wish to terminate our relationship.’ Very formal. And doesn’t stick around they just up and leave. If it was for their own good (being threatened by other demons or angels etc.) then they’d probably feel like they were doing it for your own safety, and therefore would want to make it hurt as much as possible because logically it means you would want to avoid them. Totally would send demons to check up on you or go up themself to make sure you were safe and ok.

·         F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) I don’t see Beelzebub getting married? As I said, they are very much in it more for the spending good quality time together and enjoying every second than actually committing to something long term. For Beelzebub, its more a denial of something being there and the fact that they know that, long term, its not going to work out. You’re human. They’re a demon. One day you are going to expire. If you really pushed and shoved, maybe they’d be down for getting engaged and being married but you’d have to push a lot and it would take a while for them to agree.

·         G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) I think emotionally, Beelzebub is as blunt as blunt can be. There is no careful side to the way they speak, they just say it as it is. Over time, they learn that sometimes you need a shoulder and although its not their favourite thing to be doing, they’d definitely be there for you in whatever way they can physically, but they find the whole talking to comfort thing quite difficult

·         H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Definitely prefers hugs over cuddles, because they are brief but still portray affection. Warm, tight but yes brief.

·         I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) I don’t think Beelzebub would ever say the word. It’s just not something in their vocab. The way they ‘say’ it is through simply being with you and through acts of service or quality time.

·         J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Oh yeah boy they get jealous. They are possessive to say the least, but in a cute way (this is also how you know they love you). Its not so much a trust thing but more a ‘hey, you are hitting on my partner and I don’t like this because ya know. They are my partner’. Most definitely will release all Hell against someone who you specifically ask for help with, but mostly will send the mother of all death glares until the person annoying you gets a hint. Beelzebub knows you will ask for help when you need it, so they stand in the background until they get the call.

·         K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Kissing for Beelzebub is quite new and different, but they like it. Especially when they kiss the back of your hand or when you kiss them on the lips. When it first happened, it was awkward because they were inexperienced, but as time went on, they got really, really, insanely good at it. Almost sinful some would say. They also know when all you need is a chaste kiss vs when you need something heavy, even if you don’t know yourself.

·         L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Ok, kids confuse Beelzebub because they are just smaller humans but kids friggin love Beelzebub. They dress weird, talk funny and are blunt as heck. Brilliant. You have to kinda stand guard however after Beelzebub accidently terrorised your cousins with stories from when they used to torture the souls of hell. (“Talking about rot is fine, how to flay a human being and how it feels not so much, dear.”)

·         M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Beelzebub is usually not around in the mornings, once you go to sleep they are off doing devilish deeds or whatever Hell requires of them. Usually, you send a love heart emoji to their phone and you get a good morning text back. They will pop around as you have breakfast and they tell you how they spent the night as you slowly wake up.

·         N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Watching movies or showing Beelzebub parts of humanity to be celebrated is definitely one of your favourite nightly activities because Beelzebub always provides a challenge and is always there to listen and try to understand. Beelzebub will always stay until you fall asleep, something that you reassure them doesn’t need to happen but Beelzebub genuinely enjoys the feeling of you falling asleep in their arms. Even if it takes a while to worm out without waking you up.

·         O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Remember how I said they were blunt? Yeah, right away you know everything and anything. How much they despise humanity and angels, that they are a demon and a high ranking one at that. That one day Hell will win the battle over Heaven and there will only be Hell and how they can’t wait for that day. What really got them, however, was that you just smiled and went ‘great! I’m Y/N, let’s hang out until the war to end all wars happens!’ and it  t h r o w s them off so badly that they need a minute to recover from the recoil

·         P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) It doesn’t take much to annoy and anger Beelzebub, and you can always tell because they start buzzing out their z’s longer than when they are calm and almost seem to radiate ‘pissed off’ energy. Sometimes, they just take a calming breath and proceed calmly, other times voices are raised, and you have to remind them to take a walk and the both of you would come back to discuss the issue calmly, unless they are ranting about work. Then you just wait for the yelling to finish.

·         Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) I think they remember the big things, like dates and favourites/hates. Like, they will remember that your birthday is on your birthday, but they will forget it because time is meaningless, and they will look at the calendar you bought them and realise your birthday was a week ago. Dates in their head but they don’t think its important to know what day it is every single day if that makes sense? They won’t remember little things however, there is a lot on their minds at any given time. They listen and try to remember but sometimes it just goes in one ear and out the other.

·         R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) The time when you managed to rip into Hastur for barging in on date night for something that was very much not important. It was hysterical to see his jaw on the ground as you yelled about how you didn’t care if he was the Duke of Hell, it’s date night, no other demons allowed.

·         S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Very. They don’t see you as a china doll, but you are precious, and breakable. After all, you are only human. They trust you to take care of yourself and to ask for help when needed, but if they see you slipping and not asking for help they will simply provide a few demonic miracles of their own to make sure your day goes smooth and that you are protected and safe. May ask a couple of close demons (well, as close as demons can get) to follow you somewhat discreetly when you have to go away on a trip and Beelzebub cannot come. But it’s very rare that they will do that because demons are not discreet and you’ve always found out within the first day of being followed.

·         T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Its not that they don’t try, they just know what you like and what works, and it requires very little effort to get it all set up. They like to keep things simple and not overcomplicated because the moment it becomes complex is the moment something can go wrong. The one thing they do try to do is to make sure its uninterrupted time and that the time they’ve organised is for you and you only.

·         U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Is messy. Hell is super messy as is and that’s just the environment they are used to but you hate it when it makes it’s way into your house. Also, bringing work home. You find it frustrating when it eats up all of your time together and it used to happen constantly until finally you brought up how annoying it was, then they prioritised what needed to come home and what didn’t.

·         V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Not very? They look how they look and it doesn’t really matter to them.

·         W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Probably more than they’d like to admit. If they go a long time without seeing you, they miss your presence and how you manage to keep their head clear. The longer they go without seeing you, the more short-tempered they become.

·         X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) You found a fly hat similar to theirs once and bought it on a whim. Loves seeing you in it because they think it makes you look adorable also means it makes you look like theirs and they love that more than they’d like to admit.

·         Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) Probably someone who was exactly like the angels. There are very few angels that Beelzebub would tolerate but if you were very very church-y and tries to convince them that God is good and all they need is God to forgive them for them to be happy? Nope, not gonna happen.

·         Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) They don’t sleep but the one time you convinced them to at least try it, they were one of the most restless sleepers you’ve ever known. Kicking, turning, hitting you twice and even managed to headbutt you once. Turns out, horrid nightmares. Never went to sleep again.

[vivienna-vivid]

The masters of Red have no personalities so I made them up.

Feend vor Sembren

Ah yes, Nasuverse!Edgeworth

Strict AF college professor who actually cares about his students. They affectionately call him “Professor Fiend”.

W O R K A H O L I C

A total romantic who loves his wife and son. If only he made a habit of actually coming home…

Did you know this man is 52??? Did you know his son Fezgram is 24???

The only one here who knows how to be a functional member of society.

Pretty heavy smoker, so he has a raspy voice.

Surprisingly, Feenie’s a connoisseur of wine. Kayneth introduced him to a lotta high-end alchohol in their college days.

Yes, he knew Kayneth. They were good friends before Kayneth bit the dust.

I dare you to make vore jokes in front of him. I dare you. You’ll die but at least it’ll be fun.

Listens to a lot of 70s-80s bands. In case you’re wondering, he’s a big fan of Queen and Fleetwood Mac.

Pretty technologically advanced for a mage. His pragmatism towards technology was inspired by a certain gun-wielding magus killer.

Was married into the Vor Sembren family. Since he was born a poor boy, he’s always trying to prove himself.

His parents were Chinese Singaporeans, so he’s fluent in Mandarin.

Feenie’s magecraft focuses on transmutation. With select materials, he can transmute one thing into another. He mainly uses his magecraft to heal wounds and create pseudo organs and flesh.

Has at one point intimidated a person by showing them a transmuted heart and lying that it’s theirs.

His wish for the Grail is… Well, he plans to give the Grail to the Association, so he doesn’t particularly care about the Grail.

It’s to run away from mage society with his family

Rottweil Berzinsky

OH BOY LOOK AT THIS DISASTER.

Australian. Because of that, he has a noice Australian accent.

S H A R P   T E E F S

Man’s been in too much explosions

His Crowley-esque shades hides his lizard eyes.

“If I’m gonna do horrible things, at least I can make them FUN”

Think: Steve Irwin but borderline psychopath.

Is surprisingly good with kids! Rott’s the kinda guy who’d chastise a child for being mean and/or rude, but would teach them how to stab assholes. “Y’see a weird man offering candy from his van. Wha’dya do? Shank ‘im!”

Man’s a natural prankster. He’ll prank E V E R Y O N E and A N Y T H I N G.

Likes: Sunbathing. Hates: Cold weather and winter.

Thinks Gene Rum is a cooooooooooooold bitch with a stick up her arse.

Gene and Rott has some history. Both tend to be employed by the same people.

Rott may be a murderer, but he has standards! No killing children, no harming children, if employer does anything to children he will kill them.

Has killed more employers than actual hit targets.

In the manga, Rott can change into silver lizard form. He doesn’t like changing his form since the more he uses that ability, the more monstrous and mindless he becomes.

Rott is indeed a Chimera, a mage who is able to turn into an animal to some degree. He didn’t become a Chimera from his own volition, so that’s also a reason why he rarely uses his ability.

As a Chimera, he’s gained some lizard perks even in his human form. For starters, his saliva is toxic and has lizard eyes. He also can shed his skin to heal certain wounds. In Chimera form, he’s covered in nigh-indestructible scales.

Rott was an orphan who was adopted by a mage named Zagreus Berzinsky. The man wanted to create mythical beast of yore by forcefully fusing children with all kinds of beasts. Rott was one of those children.

Rott was able to escape with a few kids. Eventually, they made their way to the Clocktower. While he himself never went to school, he 100% made sure his “younger siblings” are enrolled in the Clocktower. It’s for their safety.

His wish for the Grail is for an antidote for Chimeratization. Oh! And to kill off Zagreus too!

Gene (Jean?) Rum

Gene, short for Genevieve. (Or Jean, short for Jeanette)

Straight-laced lipstick lesbian.

Likes books because, unlike people, they’re actually engaging. Nah she’s just a bit awkward and self-conscious.

Grew up reading Shakespeare, Arabian Nights, and Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

Since she’s broken into Ivan the Terrible’s library at least once, I can tell you that she’s a professional lock-picker. Wizard who took a level in Rogue.

Fluent in many languages due to her time abroad.

Favorite Genre: Russian Literature

HAS PUBLISHED HER OWN POETRY BOOK!! Though, it’s under a pseudonym and bringing it up will make her really embarrassed.

Thinks Rottweil is a bITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKER.

Gene doesn’t care much about the morality of her employers. As long as she gets paid, she won’t stick her nose in her employer’s business.

You’d think she’d have Mystic Eyes what with her chilling side-eye.

Loves puns but you’d be hard-pressed to get her to laugh at one in public.

Finished her education in the Clocktower but chose to lead a life of a mercenary. Her family was… pretty miffed.

Never attends family meetups.

Org Rum is her little brother and his presence turns on her latent Cain instincts.

Do you have your rival family’s documents? Do you want to ruin them by exposing these documents but they’re encrypted? HIRE GENE RUM TODAY!

Gene’s magecraft focuses of aeromancy, the control of wind.

Her most famous technique is the ability to make thread-thin tornado chakrams. Anyone who touches these tordano-wheels will get sliced. If she focuses a bit harder, she can imbue her chakrams with lightning.

She makes those storm-threads with a small buckler-sized spinning wheel she bring along. It’s her mystic code and she’s very protective of it.

Cabik Pentel

The current patriarch of the Pentel Clan, a family of esoteric assassins/mercenary group.

Hardly ever emotes so it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking.

But he’s usually very honest and won’t sugar nor exaggerate his words.

The only reason he’s can understand other people (to a degree) is because his brother is such a good person.

Yeah, Cabik loves his brother very much. And as such, he loves his brother’s twin daughters. He’s somewhat of a cool uncle to them.

Doesn’t quite know how he feels about being patriarch since the clan is awful as all hell. He’s good at being an assassin, so he’ll continue the work in the meantime.

BOY ONLY KNOWS HOW TO KILL PEOPLE HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HUMAN, BLESS HIM.

Proud father of houseplants and a cat

Q: Weren’t you and your brother called “The Gum Brothers” in college?

A: ………………………………………Ah. So you’ve chosen death.

How many daggers does this man have? A LOT

Seriously, you’d think he has a limit to how many daggers he can carry but. No. He just… fucking pops out another pair if the ones he’s using are lost.

His twin knives are called Rahu and Ketu and he loves them very much.

The Pentels specialty magecraft is body modification. Cabik uses this to make his body pliable as fuck.

This bitch can basically make his body have the consistency of a ferret’s.

Need to dodge? Fuckin’ dislocate your spine! Gutted? Move your organs upwards to not make them fall!

Deimlet Pentel

The older brother of the Pentel siblings. Supposed to be the next family patriarch but left that position for his brother.

Big teddy bear man. Big teddy bear wrestler man.

“HAHAHA!! I AM HERE!!” -Deimlet (and totally not All Might)

Divorced man of two daughters. BUT!! HE STILL LOVES HIS EX-WIFE VERY MUCH!!!

“I may want to remarry my ex-wife. Or not, haha……. Unless…;)?”

Stronk dad to stronk daughters. He taught them how to wrestle and….. he’s so proud of them ;’)

MADE OF LITERAL SUNSHINE!! IF YOU SEE THE SUN IN MIDNIGHT, YOU MIGHT BE LOOKING AT DEIM!!

Super protective of his mustache. It’s his magnum opus so do nOT MESS IT UP

Legitimately hates the Pentels, but still loves his baby bro.

Q: Weren’t you and your brother called “The Gum Brothers” in college?

A: What? I didn’t hear you there! Mind *cracks fingers* saying that again?

While he married out of love, his responsibilities as heir-apparent (and assassin) made him incredibly distant to his family. 

When he was tasked to kill his then-wife’s brother’s family, he did so with much hesitation. Because of that, his brother-in-law nearly killed him and ended up dying anyway.

His wife was… not happy, to say the least. That’s why they divorced and she took the kids.

And that’s how he left the family! Killing, as it turns out, sucks ass!!

Good ending tho: he moved to Finland and started tutoring the Edelfelt kids in wrestling.

He’s… actually a masked wrestler there. He’s been on TV a bunch of times!

Joined the HGW mainly to make sure Cabik is doing fine.

Uses his family’s magecraft to super harden his body. 

You can’t gut this man ‘cause he made hIS BODY INTO LITERAL STONE!!

Man is just Indian Alex Louis Armstrong. Thatse it! He cannot change this!

[cleaduvalls]

i watched “spy kids” 4 times in 1 week and here are my thoughts

carmen your nightgown is like 200 years old, get a new one

you clearly know this story by heart, you’re saying parts of it. why are you questioning what “take him out” means

a double wig should be more obvious than that

we can see that that’s a glass elevator. people can see you changing, ingrid

nice hat

why did you kill the swan

is that paul rudd???????

how are jets ripping pages out of a book

heart shaped parachutes shouldn’t be working that well

why is there a guitar on your bed. how do you sleep

i think the kids would have seen the track in the floor at SOME point

why is there a jungle gym in their house. i know they’re spies but who has a jungle gym.... in their HOUSE

carmen you’re a frog

i think juni just legitimately try to kill carmen

why are both parents going to school. is that like, a Thing????

juni how do you do that

who puts a video screen in the front seat

hey look its floop. love that guy

they’re not picking on you for the bandages, it’s cuz you brought the toys OUTSIDE your backpack. always put them inside. trust me

did his mirror just.... zoom in?????

h*ck yeah beat him up greg

do all the other kids hate him too??????

dang that hurt

“chief” that’s so white

stupid kid. his dads a spy

that floop doll isn’t even close to accurate

hey look its floop again. love that dude

Big Willy Wonka Energy

oooh skipping numbers i see. love that

why do the subtitles have “mr. floop” as his name. its just floop, yall

“sometimes in order to think big you have to think small” pretty inspirational tbh

oh hes fidgeting!!!!!! love that

woah what are you doing this is rated pg ingrid

i wish my uncles would tell me im shrinking. they just make small talk abt school 😔

this gradenko lady looks like jan from the office

hey its floop again!!!!! love that dude

yes juni. its a fire drill in your own home

these dudes have a jungle gym AND a pool. what the h*ck

why did you pull off your mustache to prove you’re not related. if anything that makes you more related. greg does that too

why did he put the mustache back ON

where did those boats come from

carmen says manual weird. man-yull

right, cuz adrenaline causes warts

“don’t touch anything” *immediately touches everything*

basic boat ettiquette: don’t shit in the boat. those toilets can’t handle anything

is that globe..... punched in???????

floop!!!!!!! love that dude

feet on the desk????? i dunno seems pretty gay

since when did carmen get keys to that

i might be wrong but i dont think thats every country

what does pressure have to do with positioning a laser

this floor is the best mechanic in the whole movie. reminds me of a richie rich comic i had as a kids

why did they not run into the wall. i wanted to see that

is the slide there when floop films his show????

HEY ITS FLOOP!!!! love that dude

theres a bunch of normal food like.... sour worms. why did they pick the slime from charlie and the chocolate factory when johnny depp finds the oompa loompas

thats a sick coat. best one in the movie

that was a good snap. nice acoustics

God what a power move. something thanos would say

listen floop i love you but thats not how you say research

fELIX NO

and hes gone. cool

did she kick the camera?????

haha author unknown. cuz hes a spy

why did you take that one specifically????? plot convenience????

he can still be a spy, just not a good one. learn to read

is that supposed to be a question?????

FUN FACT if you listen closely when carmen says “like felix said” you can hear a weird cut in “said”, almost like its a new clip

theres no keyhole

i think juni can read. why are you spelling it

did you have the floop toys in your pocket????

OKAY THIS SCENE WHERE THEY PLAY IT BACKWARDS?????? THAT MESSED ME UP AS A KID 

what do those things do?????

i can feel the pain from the fan blades

how did that break the chain????

why would you annouce that. they can hear you. just because they’re thumbs doesn’t mean they’re deaf

that’s a thing, not a place

FLOOP!!!!! ON A BILLBOARD!!!! love that dude

how are you slipping. shes holding YOU

YOU DROPPED HIM GENIUS

how do people not notice the jetpack dudes

DOES NO ONE CARE THAT CLOTHES WERE STOLEN

that’s a cute coat

why is the lady cool with carmen just... doing that

HEY I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!! AND THAT DUDE!!!!!

ofc you can’t think “straight enough” you’re gay

why is mexico sepia tone

when do you think juni had time to change and learn a new language

IF IT HURTS TO HIT HIM, S T O P

i wanna be on that merry-go-round

HOW DO YOU K N O W THAT HIS CODE NAME. WHY “MUST” IT BE HOMBRE

i love how junis just like “we already got a fake uncle”

LOOK AT HOW FLOOP IS SITTING!!!!!!!! THATS GAY!!!!!!! HE IS A HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!!!

ALSO MORE FLOOP!!!! say it with me, LOVE THAT DUDE!!!!!!!!!!

minion looks like barry from friends

wait i lied this coat is better

we DO have uncles like that!!!!!

if your inventions are so good why is your font so BORING

hey wait carmen said that. hmmmmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔

glowsticks dont help you see like at all

the map looks like gallifreyan but its not. spy kids is older than the doctor who reboot

they go ZOOM

THATS NOT HOW YOU SAY MANUAL!!!!!!!

great job carmen YOU wrecked the plane

WHATS A REGULATOR

oh its just a breathing thing

haha pee joke. funney

where are the brains coming from???? that factory is Not Correct

if i were juni i would look back over all the floop’s fooglies tapes and see what the agents were saying backwards. once the mission was done, ofc

it took me like 5 minutes to figure out what sknaht meant the first time

SEE THIS MECHANIC IS GOOD BC NOW THERES NO PLEXIGLASS

WHY DOES NO ONE RUN INTO THE WALL

F L O O P  I S  G O D

love that dude

you discussed with the spy parents that juni watched the show. he just told you that you took his parents. you KNOW this is juni, why are you surprised that he watches it????? you already know!!!!!!

tbh i kinda want some of those colorful chains. they’d look cool somewhere

haha voice crack

no wonder your shows not doing well. those are awful times

why is there a sexy thumb nurse. why did floop make the thumb nurse sexy

use her first name?????? you’re clearly dating

!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!! UNHEARD OF!!!!!!!

he cares so much about this show!!!!!! its so sweet!!!! love that dude

YEP THIS COAT IS BETTER, LOOKS A M A Z I N G IN A RUNNING SCENE

haha you killed carmen

ok this scene with the acid crayon is like my absolute favorite. something about using a crayon to escape and then floop (love that dude) opening the door a second later and then doing a double take. FAVE

wheres belize

ok so apparently its a country by mexico

no you CANT tell her you need to ESCAPE

we finally got a clean outside shot of the castle.... that place is wack

haha minion can’t sit in the hand chair correctly because hes STRAIGHT what a loser

hey juni HOW DO YOU DO THAT

minion you know what the robot costumes look like AND what juni looks like. dont be stupid

what..... what do you want carmen for, exactly, minion??????

floop is supportive of others’ art!!!!!!!!!!! love that dude

HE SAID “WHERE’S MOM AND DAD” LIKE THEY’RE HIS OWN PARENTS THAT’S SO C U T E

ALSO ANOTHER SCENE WITH THE GREAT RUNNING COAT

he says doppelganger beautifully

“its too late” that timing was BEAUTIFUL

you COULD take 500 brains out if you just TRIED HARDER. still love that dude

his control panel has buttons that spell “floop”

WHY CAN MINION TALK NORMAL

if its reversible why do you have it in later movies

carmen fights fake juni and juni fights fake carmen because they didnt have the fancy clone (?) technology

THREE TIMES!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL T H R E E  T I M E S THIS HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!

nice censorship

HOW DID MACHETE SMASH ONLY THE CLEAR WINDOWS AND A L L THE CLEAR WINDOWS THERE ARE NO MORE CLEAR WINDOWS!!!!!! ANYWHERE!!!!!

wow nice 3 buttons thats totally how you hack

oh look they have all died

oh. guess not :((

machete you better rip off your mustache

HES GOING TO JUNIS LEVEL TO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!! HE RUFFLED HIS HAIR!!!!!!!!! HES GONNA MAKE A GREAT DAD!!!!!!!

wow no shit ingrid

did he leave his wart bandaid on the kitchen counter?????

ALAN CUMMING!!!! ON A CEREAL BOX!!!!

ok CLEARLY other people watch floop’s show, he’s rated number 2. kids at the school are gonna recognize juni and carmen. they better get popular

is that george clooney

well that’s not how it works in spy kids 2. or 3. or 4. or the tv show

[iaal]

Hisoka Dirty Alphabet

OK so that’s my first contribution and obviously it has to be a thirsty post about Hisoka. I love that man and it says a lot about me.

also English isn’t my first language so if you see some horrible mistakes in my writing please let me know .

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

I feel it can go either way. Either he would stays and let you cuddle while he plays with your hair and tease you about the faces and sounds you made earlier or he could just straigt up leave once he's done depending on his mood. If it does stay and spend the night you better bet that he'd be ready for another round in the morning.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hisoka definitly knows  he's eye candy, this man loves every inch of himself head to toe but he likes to attract attention on his arms and hips suggestively, you think he's just making weird pose ? It's not, it's a mating stance. I don't see him as a man who'd be too picky apparence wise for a partner. He can appreciate conventional beauty but as long as  his interest is caught and he thinks he can have some good time he would go for it, he's a sucker for nice full lips though.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Be prepared to have cum litteraly everywhere, even the walls are not safe with the trash clown. Hisoka's cum is opaque, very sticky and slighty sweet like you would expect for someone who calls his Hatsu "Bungee Gum : Elastic Love" and while it's nice when he finishes in your mouth it will drive you crazy when he'd aim for your hair. Just imagine washing honey, you'd need at least 3 shampoo to get everything off and he knows that perfectly, he finds this funny for some reason. As much as he likes to finish inside, when he knows that you both have all night he'd make it a game to cum in a different place each time to see how much of your body he could cover. He won't let you shower inbetween, he likes to make you dirty.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He have no shame period. He will tell you everything even if you don't ask for it. Wether it makes you wet or cringe he doesn't care, he just wants to see your reaction.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He had too many partner to even count, this man needs standards (and Jesus) . Everything he didn't already experienced or heard about he'll think of it on his own. He's smart and have a lot of imagination as we saw during his battle so it's only natural that he'd use his mind in bed. He would be very attentive to everything you say, your movements, gasps etc he'd find your button really fast whithout you having to guide him at all. Like everything else in his eyes, sex is a battle and he wants to win, his goal's to break you with pleasure until you're a drooling, half conscious mess.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Everything that let him have a good look at your face when you cum. He loves the physical pleasure of sex there's no doubt about it but what he aches for is contemplating the result of his caress and thrust when you come undone under him. He get an enormous satisfaction knowing he's the one doing that to you, like I said that's his win. I can see him asking you to look at him in the eyes when he senses you're close and his climax won't be long after yours.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Depends on his mood too. He would be pretty playful most of the times, driving you mad with his shitty grin of his but I can also see him not fooling around when his need is too strong. In the latter situation he wouldn't be up for foreplays either he'd just want to be inside you fast, like yesterday fast. He won't force you but he'd be a lot more agressive than his usual flirty self when he'd tease you so much that you'd be the one begging to finally getting him to fuck you. When he's impatient he'd just finger you and grind himself on you to relieve the need a bit until you're ready to accomodate his cock, once he's inside he would pound you like there's no tomorrow but still intend to make you come too either with his hand or, if you didn't finish before him, with his mouth afterward.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

I see a lot of headcanon of people thinking the carpet match the drapes. I don't . Hisoka is all for surprise and I can imagine having his pubes the same color as his hair being boring for him. He would make stupid shape and dye his pubes in a color that complement his hair, no fashion faux-pas like Yellow and Orange.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Well ... he can fake it. It would be one of his games to tease you on how much you like it when he's sweet to you, and that maybe you like him and shit like that, I can't see him being genuine. He would like it  if you're overly sweet to him sometimes though, he have time when he likes being pamper a bit and won't tease you *too much* about it.

J= Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Yeah he jerk off a lot too. When he got times he'd go all out with lube, toy and getting in a room where he'd be in front of a mirror (i did say he really LOVES his body). This guy doesn't just jack off, he treats himself to a full course of pleasure. He would go slow and taking time to give attention to every of his sweet spots before even touching his dick. Hisoka would tease himself like he would for his partner, always delaying just a bit more the moment when he'd start pumping himself. I can see him  being pretty rough when he gets going, gripping his cock with way too much force to be comfortable. If you're available he'd call you when he's near his end so he'd come to the sound of your voice and because he's an oversharing slut.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Blood play, bondage, asphyxiation, edging, outdoor... you name it he loves it.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He loves thrill, he loves to embarrass you so semi public is the way to go. He'd fuck you particularly hard and fast to make you as loud as possible, don't even try to stay silent that'd encourage him to try harder and in the end he will win anyway. Bonus point if you're as shameless as he is and don't give a shit if someone sees you, he'd get out of his way to pick locations with the riskiest chance to get caught. He wouldn't go full public though he like the thought of being surprise in the act not giving a show to a crowd.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you breath he's already hard. Don't you know the man is a hoe ?

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I can only think of things that would gross him out, lack of hygienes, poop or pee, things like that being a big NO. I headcanon Hisoka as a very clean man, sure he likes to get you and him dirty but in the *right* way. Eveything else he would consider a boring fuck if it wasn't for his taste but he would sure as hell finish before leaving and never come back.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Both. He will eat you out any chances he gets, he's great at oral and he'd uses it to tease you relentlessly, stopping just when you're about to come to kiss and lick your thigs with his shit eating grin glued on his face. He would do that a few time until you start threatening to kill him if he doesn't let you finish. Seing you grabing his hair, feeling your legs shaking would delight him beyond words. Please look at him when he goes down on you, he's happy when he gets your full attention. He loves attention to his dick too, any kind, so he's pretty enthusiastic if you blow him, he would moan loudly and sing your praise in a way where you wouldn't really know if it's bullying or genuine compliment. Be careful though, if you want him to finish in your mouth he WILL fuck your face.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Whatever makes you lose your mind. That doesn't mean he's a selfless lover just that like I said he wants to win, he'd be sure that if anyone ask you "who's your best fuck?" his face pop immediately in your head. He's pretty good at manipulating people, even if you don't share his tastes at first he'd make at least some of his kinks yours by slowly incorporating them into your sex life and merging them with things he knows you like until you get some pleasure out of it. You're his toy and he wants to play with his rules. However when he chases his own orgasm he's very rough and if you weren't already into that it would be the moment when he'd bruise you with his gripe and leave bite mark on you. He would apologize after if it bothers you. He's not sorry at all.

Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He loves quickies but more like something punctual than an habit, he'd prefer to take his time to have you needy and begging, he does love his mind game. Sometimes he would like to take you in a more animalistic way, right here and right now, it's usually when he's in his "no bullshit just fuck" mood, after a particularly exciting fight for exemple, in this case he would just straight up says that he wants you now and it's even better for him if you're outdoor so he can still indulge in his kink. If you accept he'd take you into the nearest hidden location and wouldn't lose any time to get started. It would be one of the time when he'd like to take you for behind and only focus on his sensation.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Hisoka isn't even careful with his life he wouldn't be careful with his dick. Do your worst to him there's a high chance he'd like it.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

You'd be spent waaaay before him, there's no question about that. He can go for days and his only limit is your staminia. You'd be raw and sore in the morning every time but hey you knew it would be like that ! That's why you chose to fuck the trash clown in the first place.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He uses them on him or his partner sometimes, it's more an once in a while fun. He likes the different sensations that toys can offer but he'd still prefere to go natural when he's with you, it's an ego thing. When he's doing his all "jerking like a diva" routine that's when he uses them the most.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Very very very unfair, that's his main turn on. Either with words or actions he would tease you all the time, coupled with the fact that's this man couldn't shut his mouth to save his life, be prepared to have a comment for everything you do to him and every reaction he'd fish out of you. With edging being one of his kink too don't expect him to let you come anytime soon, he'd be teasing you until you whimper in frustration and even then it wouldn't be the end of his torture. When he's going down on you or pleasing you with his finger he'd make you say eveything you'd want him to do to you, and then how, where, what rythm. You'd need to spell eveything out for him to let you finally come. It doesn't seems that hard but in the state you'd be in, just articulate a word would be harder than solving an advanced math problem. The good news is that he likes being teased too so feel free to make him pay.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

So loud, you can't even compete. He's shameless and he'd make every sound an human mouth can make. He has no restrain at all.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Hisoka nipples are extremely sensistive, you can make him come just playing with them. That's the spot to go when you want to have him going boneless under your touch and that's the spot to go when you're feeling mean and want some vengeance after all his teasing.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Thicc. Hisoka's cock is around 16cm, very grithy and curbing a bit to the right. The skin is pale like the rest of his body but  in a redder shade, his head get very red when he's aroused and precum, so much precum.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

If he didn't like fighting that much he would be fucking all the time, that's how high is sex drive is.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends if he's sleeping alone or not. If you excuse yourself out after you're done with him (because you're a smart girl and you know that all of this was a mistake) he'd go doing something else, I don't think the sex would have tire him so much that he'd need to sleep right away. He would probably take a shower first, maybe bother Illumi with some texts or keeping track on some of his fruit. If you do decide to stay and he's in the mood to let you sleep with him he'd sleep close to you and cuddle a bit if he's satisfied, he'd fall asleep not long after you and skip the shower so you could both take one in the morning together (and do the do once again).

[quitethepirategal]

Alphabet Headcanons!

List a headcanon that correlates with each letter of the English Alphabet. Can you list that many? It’s harder than it looks! Any tidbit of information counts, from the simplest fun fact to the lengthiest lore!

A - Red Jessica is an Aries. Her moon sign is Taurus and her rising is Leo. She’s also a cusp baby, giving her Pisces leanings.

B - She has quite a few books in her massive library, but her favorites are The Art of War, Anthony and Cleopatra, On the Origin of Species, The Prince, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, Frankenstein, and Treasure Island. She reads more textbooks than anything else tho. She really wants to like Jane Austin but she just... can’t.  ( unrelated, I was trying to figure which Shakespeare play would be Jess’s fav and found this. Y’all I screamed. )

C - Cats are her favorite animal. Any kind of cat. The grace, the lore, the silliness, the toe beans; they’re majestic little idiots and she loves them. She has two of her own. Sasha and Rosie. Jessica’s loved cats since she first made friends with one as a very little girl and she remembers every cat she’s ever had or been friends with.  Her first cat was an alley cat that followed her around that she uncreatively named Katjie

D - Dutch Afrikaans and English are her native languages, she grew up speaking both. However, she hasn’t really needed to speak Afrikaans since her mother died, and is no longer fluent as a result. Her first word was “Ahoy” but her second word was “geld.”

E - Red Jessica has some ridiculous eating antics, as a result of living in starvation from birth to late childhood and living as a pirate from then on.  She can bite directly into onions and garlic cloves as if they were apples, will eat ( or save ) the bones and fat of any meaty meal, can eat an entire apple- core included, loves to eat or chew on citrus peels and raw herb leaves, has a somewhat high tolerance for both spicy things and alcohol, and, like all pirates, has learned to tolerate most rotten/stale/moldy/expired food.  On top of that, her pursuit in studying biology and botany crowns her as probably the ONLY person in all of the Neversea who knows what nutrition is and how it works. Also eating avocados make her ears itch.

F - One of Jessica’s signature mannerisms is putting her fists up by her face. When excited or overjoyed she’ll shake them and when shes shy she’ll kind of hide her smile with them. She rests her chin on her fists, holds them still by her jaw when waiting in suspense, and its immediately where her fists fly to when startled or snuck up on ( with the exception of when shes armed, to which her hands fly to her hilt or holster ).  This mannerism makes complete and total sense considering shes a trained kick boxer.

G - Gardening is her absolute favorite stress reliever and you can pry it from her cold dead hands. Just bury your problems in the dirt my dude.

H - Her curly ginger hair is certainly one of the first things you notice about her and she takes very good care of it; a wash every two days, plenty of oils, vinegar once a week for dandruff. Her curl type is 3a.

I - Red Jessica is a closeted artist and frequently engages in illustration, and while this mostly comes in handy for taking illustrative botanical notes, her other favorite subject is the human figure. Specifically, the human figure of people she finds attractive or has a crush on.  And if you ask she’d be happy to try and draw you! Though she isn’t what you would call amazing she is somewhat talented- with her drawings having very technical, anatomical, and minimalist influences. She also like to sketch pastoral scenes when out in her fields.

J - Jessica was a name her father picked out, naming her after his first love.

K - She remembers her first kill. At 13 she was involved in a skirmish and lunged at a man out from under a table with a rapier. She remembers the exact look on his face, and recalls it with pride. First kill is a right of passage to pirates.

L - Jessica’s love language is all over the place, but can be narrowed down to gifts, words, and quality time. Arrogant suitors, take note because Jess will literally never shut up about you; she will brag about you, remind you of your achievements, praise you for your talents, be proud of you, will show you off, insist to EVERYBODY that you’re the best, and in some cases, spoil you.  This goes for friends too, of course but this all goes especially for whoever she has a crush on or is courting her. She JUST!! LOVES STROKING PEOPLE’S EGOS!! Speaking of spoiling, she’s a total gift giver.  No reason or occasion needed whatsoever; she is the QUEEN of  “ I was thinking of you so I got you a little something.”

M - Jessica is really really weird when it comes to materialism.  At a first glance, shes as avaricious as they come. She hoards beauty in the form of an art collection that graces her fine chateau’s halls and eminence gardens of gorgeous flowers.  She is a little crazy about treasure too, never missing an opportunity to treasure hunt, and has been known to loan-shark a time or two.  But in actuality, as made apparent through getting to know her, she isn’t really greedy or possessive at all.  Yes she loves pretty things and yes she is great at making money but believe me when I say that she is in the treasure hunt for the hunt more so than for the treasure.  Were she somehow to loose it all, money, island, treasure, everything, she’d be more concerned that whoever took her priceless art won’t take care of it.  In the best laid plans of mice and men, Jess is totally a mouse.  She’s lived the majority of her life owning nothing but the clothes she had on so, she’d just cut her losses and start over… come to think of it being wealthy is a bit boring…

N - Jessica has never been to Neverland. In my canon, only one pirate ( Hook ) was brave enough to ever set foot on that cursed island. Red Jessica, like the rest of the neverpirates, are too afraid. Most heard tales of an unbeatable foe and that the island itself is watching you, and that’s enough to keep Jessica away.

O - Oranges are her all time favorite food. She’ll eat anything with orange in it. Second favorite is crab or lobster. Third is pineapple chili sauce.

P - Her Myers-Briggs personality type is ESTP- a, the Entrepreneur.

Q - Jessica was Dread Pirate Grace O’Malley’s quartermaster. There are 9 Dread Pirates in the Neversea, each one being a legendary pirate of old, and they have the power to grant only the most talented pirates among them recognized captainship.

R - Red Jessica is is short for Red Handed Jessica for no reason other than I am Peter Pan ( 2003 ) trash.

S - Red Jessica’s crew is a sisterhood of sorts. While she is authoritarian and a captain to be feared, Jessica is friends with everybody in her crew and trusts them with her life. Her ship, The Rose, is practically a floating sorority; complete with weird traditions, gossip, gag rivalries, inside jokes, hazing, and the occasional prank. She even aids in getting them dates ( pro wingman right here ) and babysits some of their kids. Granted, they haven’t done much sailing or piracy in some time. But they all live comfortable lives on Crimson Isle, and they’ll be ready to sail should the need arise.

T - Jessica tends to trust people a tad too quickly and “give too much away” so to speak. It’s gotten her into trouble and even gotten her heart broken a time or two; but for some reason she never learns. She’d like to think she’s great at keeping secrets and to a degree, she is… but I wouldn’t trust her with any of mine- that I will say.

U - Oppenheimer, a pirate in the crew of the Flying Frigate ( in the movie the Pirate Fairy ) is her uncle.

V - Jess finds that she spends most of her days in her vineyard. She’s perfected the growing of grapes and timely shipments of wine, but now shes tinkering with how different aspects of growth effect flavor.

W - Jessica, whether she’s aware or not, is capable of being attracted to women. But she’s never really had any female partners. She’s not homophobic and wasn’t raised in an environment that was homophobic ( pirates pretty much love and sleep with whoever they want to ) it’s just ...never occurred to her to date women. Most of the reasons as to why are subconscious maternal issues but in short, Jess already has difficulty separating different kinds of love. Friendship and romantic love kinda... feel the same. She really only knows how to love one way and she can never tell if a woman is being friendly or flirty, much less if SHE’S being friendly or flirty. For this reason I’ve always labeled her as a questioning bisexual or a heteroflexible...

X - Her most recent botanical experiments revolve around xenogamy, also known as cross pollination. And just to flex, she’s also a huge xenophile for both Spanish and Chinese culture.

Y - Yellow is her second favorite color after red. Pink is her third and emerald green is her forth.

Z - In Jake and the Neverland Pirates, we see a type of rose called a Zebra Rose. While no such flower exists in actuality, I’d like to believe this is a result of some of Jess’s experiments - the medicinal purpose being to combat itching and irritation. 

Tagged By  -  nobody

Tagging  - @emcads @shiningsilverarmor @ofrcvenge @hunterhuntcd @youthflight @rcinbowconnection @jesterabandoned @inhxrmony @captainxhaddock @forvistxkonge @mcnsieur and you!!!

[ladyfl4me]

A,E,F,G,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z ;o

Okay *cracks knuckles* let’s go! F, M, and S have already been taken from this list, so feel free to send in... B, C, D, or H, I guess. Yeehaw. This is really fucking long.

A: How did you come up with the title to [TMWCIFTC]? -- It started, as many things do, as a bad pun. The novel The Spy who Came In from the Cold was a cold-war spy thriller, about a British spy who goes over to East Germany as an apparent defect, except he’s actually there to spread misinformation and fuck shit up. He falls in love, becomes disillusioned with his superiors, and is shot dead over the corpse of his lover after climbing over to the east side of the wall. Needless to say, this is nowhere close to what happens in TMWCIFTC. I chose it early on because of the literal meaning: there’s a moth(man), he’s coming in from the cold WV weather, boom shaka laka, we have a title. Over time, though, it’s evolved into another meaning. Indrid himself is coming in from an isolated, lonely existence: he’s rejoining the family that cut ties with him, he’s in love, he’s warm and safe. The moth sure did come in from the cold, and hopefully he stays that way.

E: If you wrote a sequel to [TMWCIFTC], what would it be about? -- Hm. Considering my entire TAZ fic career is a tangled hairball of sequels and prequels, I kind of have this base covered. At the moment, TCOS - aka The Children of Sylvain, the sequel to TMWCIFTC - is about three things: a Pine Guard road trip race against time and the feds, the Spanish Sylvan Inquisition That Nobody Expected (least of all Jake and Hollis, who have to set aside their differences and past conflicts to save Kepler - and who knows, maybe they’ll fall in love along the way), and Alexandra the Interpreter getting woke to Sylvan politics and doing what she can from the inside to change them. In other words, it’s going to be a massive sequel that is the finale of the Amnesty alternate universe I’ve created. It’s this series’ Endgame. (That reminds me, I need an actual title for this collection of stories I’m writing. The “Tin Cinematic Universe” doesn’t quite have the ring to it that I’d like.)

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? -- eh, it kind of depends. It’s like a buffering bar on Youtube videos. I outline what I can until I run out of ideas, then start writing, then add outlines to the end, until the outline is complete and I just have to keep writing.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)? -- I don’t have one for reading, but for writing, I fucking love structuring chapters around songs. Classical or otherwise, I love music. All my stories play in my head like a movie screen, and I just do my best to describe what I’m seeing in my head with an accompanying score. It’s not so much a guilty pleasure as it is a writing process. Frankly, I don’t think I actually have a guilty pleasure; the act of writing itself is all the happiness I need.

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic]. -- An alternate ending for The Devil Went Down To Georgia would be... interesting. It ended with Boyd-as-Jersey-Devil scaring the pants off some poor broke college kid, who stole his worthless fiddle; then he changed back, and he and Ned went on their merry way to go break into Aubrey’s house and send everything down the drain. If there was one thing that I could change in there, it would be how fast Ned ran. If he ran a little faster, he would have seen the alley; he would have witnessed Boyd turning into the Jersey Devil, or at least turning back into himself; and he’d get a very rude awakening as to what Sylvans are and that his partner (in crime, and everything that mattered) was a fucking cryptid. God, that’d be a fun AU to write. Who knows, I might go do that someday.

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with? -- At the moment, the only angsty idea that I’m actually conceptualizing is a Hollis/Jake angsty breakup for TSG. (Spoilers, I guess.) I once wrote a very grimdark ending to TMWCIFTC where everyone fell through the ice and drowned. It wasn’t fun. I’ve also mentally killed off each Amnesty protagonist and NPC in various ways, but I never felt comfortable writing them down. I only write angst with a happy ending because those are the kinds of stories I need to hear.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? -- 9 times out of 10, I just throw it into the void. I write as much as I can in big chunks, and then kind of hope for the best. TMWCIFTC, for example, is a completely unedited, unbetaed vomit draft. I usually do a quick reread of my oneshots to catch grammar and spelling errors, but other than that I just trust myself that it’s fine.

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you? -- Can I get some kind of resolution for To the Edge of Night? Can I please get some kind of resolution for To the Edge of Night??? I was 14 chapters into that bastard before I a) became a more casual MCU fan and b) discovered TAZ. It was such a niche fic with such a niche structure - LOTR as galactic Asgardian propaganda to cover up Odin’s mistakes - that at some point I lost interest in it. I just saw Endgame though, so now I might get some inspiration for stuff to bastardize.

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters? -- Characters. When coming up with character backstories, I can usually find ways to slot their lives together that necessitate a plot. I love character-driven stories, where their actions actually do shit and their words actually mean something, in favor of getting dragged along behind the plot like tin cans behind a car.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?) -- I’m definitely an architect, but in a really messy way. My friends can attest that I do an insane amount of planning for each story - often in their DMs, sorry about that, Fae, Cro, Indy and Aline 😬 - and all that usually ends up in a stream-of-consciousness rant outline on Google Drive. Knowing where the story is going helps me a lot, but the planning I do is definitely just building flower beds in which to sow seeds. Or building a greenhouse. I plan the bare bones of a story, and things get really wild within it, but it does follow a logical plot structure.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations? -- I have a lot of respect for the people who can successfully pull it off, but idk if i’d ever want to do one myself. I get really possessive of my stories and ideas and like to be the one in charge of their execution. That being said, some collabs have produced amazing stories. I don’t mind reading collab fics, but actually being in a collab grates on me more than it should.

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence? -- I’m definitely influenced heavily by Neil Gaiman. I read American Gods and Good Omens a lot while I was trying to write TMWCIFTC; not only was it a good brain break, but I was able to pick up a lot of tips on scene pacing, concise yet expressive language, and character interactions. My creative wriitng professors have always told us to read so we know what to steal - not in terms of content, but in execution. 

On the fanfic side, @miamaroo is a huge inspiration for me. I’ve been reading Northern Migration a lot recently, and I love how its canon divergence is so worldshaking and so complex, but is still familiar in nostalgic yet terrifying ways. I read it back in October, went, “Huh, I wanna do something that wild. And if miamaroo can do it then I sure as fuck can too,” and I started planning TMWCIFTC during that one month dead zone the McElroys took last year. Northern Migration is one of the best, most coherent, most stunning, and most incredibly written TAZ Balance AUs I’ve ever read, and if I hadn’t read it, I wouldn’t have been inspired to take the fuckall huge plunge into TMWCIFTC.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist? -- Bed sharing and cuddling, hand kissing, wrist kissing, whump, sympathetic villains. Canon divergent AUs are my absolute favorite things to both read and write. Anything that would turn me into Charlie Kelly slamming his finger on a bulletin board screaming, “CAROL,” is a fic I would give my life for. 

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand? -- Not a fan of a) woobification and b) flat villain characterization, to the point where the story is riding on villain tropes instead of an actual person or plot. Character nuance is always something I look for when I read. I don’t usually get bitter about tropes, though; some stuff, when subverted, works really well. I fully subscribe to don’t like, don’t read, don’t write, which is why I don’t write anything that warrants AO3 content warning tags or an Explicit rating, in favor of focusing on plot. Every author has a reason for what they write and how - be it their level of experience, personal preference, or simply the joy of writing something and getting it out there - and I respect that. Within reason, of course.

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. -- 

@miamaroo, for reasons I’ve already discussed. My favorite TAZ Balance author hands down. Read Northern Migration and give it the love it deserves, or I’m replacing all the faucets in your house with silly straws.

@transagentstern. Fae has a bunch of absolutely incredible fics and an amazing grasp on characterization. We come from the same place with AUs, in that canon is but the bare planks on which we put the drywall of our plot an characterization. They structure AUs and character backstories from the ground up in believable and emotionally raw ways. Also they have great music taste. I especially like their interpretation of Indrid in Moth to the Flame; he, like all the other characters in the story, is far from perfect, and his character arc is explored in relatable ways that I love to read. 

@keplersheetz. Aline - theneonpineapple on AO3 - researches like a motherfucker and has a wealth of knowledge/experience/viewpoints to draw on, making author-author interactions with her an absolute delight. She’s also doing the lord’s work with rarepairs. Spin a wheel, find a ship, and she’s probably written for it or at least conceptualized it. Reading her character studies and stories of the old Pine Guard - aka Mama’s original crew, before the current PCs joined - is always a delight. I’ve also hashed out a lot of details for The Children of Sylvain, especially for Mr. Boyd Mosche, guilt-wracked Jersey Devil extraordinaire, with her help. 

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose? -- Not gonna lie, I’m fine with a lot of stuff that’s out there right now. It’s been a hot few months since I’ve actually stopped to read fic, but from what I recall, most of the fics I’ve read have done a good job of keeping things intact.

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones? -- The vaguer, the better. With really specific prompts, it usually feels as if the story’s been written for me already; with vague, general prompts, I have more agency to explore my own ideas. Some accompanying detail is usually nice, though. For example, the coffee shop/college/flower shop AUs that @transagentstern​ wrote are my ideal prompt for drabbles: premise, a little bit of open-ended detail, clear explanation of what’s going to happen while leaving the rest up to the imagination. Good stuff. If it’s for a long-form piece, though, I prefer full agency, or even just some time to lie facedown in the dirt and wait for an idea to strike me.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer. -- Yes.

Y: A character you want to protect. -- Tim.

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate? -- I do read lots of major character death, yeah, though not always for TAZ. There’s something cathartic about seeing a character die, but sometimes it sits wrong with me in ways that I don’t like. As for writing, I’d rather kill a character for a reason rather than for shock value/for the Feels, though said Feels can accompany the reason. 

[liittlemac-a]

Hiraeth

hiraeth (n.) a homesickness for a home to which one cannot return, a home that never was; the nostalgia, the grief for the lost places in your past.

“I told you, I don't like driving around this part of town…”

“Don't care. Keep drivin’.”

Birdy sighed as he turned a corner, grip on the steering wheel growing a little tighter. He glanced over to Mac, who was staring out the window, leg bouncing up and down. His head was purposely turned away to conceal the fact he was biting his knuckle, and Birdy had to tut. “I hate it when you do that. Your hands get all bloodied and gross.” He grunted, not easing the tension in the vehicle at all.

“Don’t care.” He repeated. It was a short response, but his hand withdrew from his mouth. Silence fell again, and after a few minutes, Mac broke it again. “Here- h-here, pull over…” He piped up, head perking up.

The Special Circuit Champion nodded, and did as told. Once the car came to a stop, before he even had a chance to turn the engine off, Mac hopped out of the car, door slamming right behind him as he paced ahead. “J-Jeez, Mac, calm down…” He muttered with a roll of his eyes, quickly rushing out after him, making sure to lock his car behind him. He had to jog to catch up with him, speed-walking at his side to keep up with him. “So, where exactly are we going? You never said.”

Mac's head was down, hands deep in his pockets. His hood cast a shadow over his face and eyes as he pressed forward. “I'll tell ya when we get there.” He answered, hastily. From the tone, he knew it wasn't going to be good. But Birdy only nodded.

“Alright, then…”

After a few minutes of walking, Mac suddenly came to a halt. Birdy nearly walked right into him, blinking at the sudden stop. “W-What's up?” He questioned with a frown. The shorter of the two glanced up at him, then at the building they stopped just before.

Bright yellow “DO NOT CROSS” tape bandaged the whole building, windows smashed in. The walls were ashen, charred black, some of the grass singed right down. The smell of burning loomed in the air, and Mac took a step forward towards the high chain link fence that caged around the place. It took a few moments for Birdy to put together the pieces, and when he did, his hand quickly reached out to touch his shoulder in a gesture of wordless comfort.

His hand gripped at the cold metal on the fencing, a struggled breath passing his lips. “I-I didn't think I'd be so f-f-fuckin’ upset, about this fuckin’ place.” Birdy's grip on his shoulder squeezed lightly, and he inhaled sharply. “I saw it- l-last night, th’ news… W-Was an accident, apparently, but…”

He whimpered like a wounded animal, before growling, kicking the fence half-heartedly. “G-God-- God damn it! Th-That was- that was my home…!” Tears that he'd been forcing back fell out of his eyes like a river, choking on a sob. His fists balled up tightly, and Birdy had to wrap his arms around him to prevent him from throwing a punch. Once restrained, however, the boy only tried to wrestle away from his hold. “I-It's g-gone, it's gone--! Wh-Why-- WHY!”

“I-It's okay, it's okay, it's okay…!” He'd never seen Mac get so hysterical before, and for a moment he feared he'd lose it. Mac's fists flailed through the air, shouting a flurry of incoherent language, before he turned to cling around him, grabbing for fist fulls of Birdy's shirt, face against his chest. He was crying so much, the front of his shirt became damp in no time, his chest heaving and body trembling violently. He leaned against him for both comfort and support, legs threatening to buckle and give out as he sobbed like a child, grief hitting him like a punch to the gut. “C-C'mon, deep breaths, okay?”

His hand rose to Mac's hair, lightly running through it in an attempt to soothe his pain. The tears burned as they fell down his face, face red and raw as he sniffled, attempting to follow Birdy's words as he sobbed. He breathed in, throat tight and painful, chest aching. His heart felt like it had been torn in two halves, but was still beating in his chest wildly. “It was m-my ho-o-ome…” He stammered, burying his face further into the fabric of Birdy's shirt, coughing and choking on a sob. “I-It's gone- it-s all g-go-o-ne!”

Birdy's chest tightened, sighing painfully, head resting on his. His eyes shut as he tried to not begin crying himself, allowing Mac to weep as much as he needed. He was glad the streets of this neighborhood was quiet; the silence and emptiness was almost mournful, but it saved Mac the humiliation of strangers staring. His fingers thread through dyed blue locks, twirling them, as he softly hushed him. There was no words for what felt like forever. But after a while, Mac's hands relaxed, his head lifting slowly with a weak sniffle.

Birdy had never seen him look so… Broken, dejected. Blue eyes fell to the floor, but before Mac could defensively close himself up again, Birdy's hand reached for his. “H-Hey…” His eyes were wide with concern, brows furrowed together, and Mac looked up. There was eye contact for a split second, before looking to the floor again, gently squeezing his hand.

“I'm s-s-sorry. I--” It took everything to not just burst into tears a second time. He held it back, inhaling deeply through his nose to keep himself steady. “I didn't th-think it would hurt s-so-- so f-f-fuckin' bad…”

A soft smile emerged on Birdy's face, if only for a second. “You don't have to apologise. I… I heard it in the news, too, but...” His eyes directed to the building again. An old, run-down foster home… It probably didn't look much better before the fire. Thankfully no one was hurt in the incident. Not directly. “I didn't think, for a second…” He trailed off, head bowing a little. Mac understood. “It should be me saying sorry.”

“D-Don't worry. I-It's fine.” He mumbled, shoulders falling slack. “I… I-It's been on my mind, for a while, this place, an’ all… when I h-heard about it, I- I didn't believe it, y'know? I couldn't- c-couldn't--”

Tears welled up in his eyes again, and he withdrew his hand to wipe them away. Birdy's expression grew sympathetic. He knew Mac's past was very much something he held close to his chest, and whilst he knew the outline of what happened from what he had chose to share, a lot of grief went unspoken for. He supposed Mac had been holding in a lot of pain for sometime, and this had been what been the last straw. Mac's head turned to the ruins again, blue gaze still teary.

“...I jus’ always- I always wanted a family. A- A real one. That's all.” It pained him to utter those words. He breathed in, then out, bottom lip quivering. There was a long moment of hesitation. “I found them.”

Birdy blinked, puzzled. “Who...?”

“My… M-My real family. B-Biological, I mean. I contacted them, w-waitin’ on an answer right now.”

“What?! I--” He halted himself, taken aback by the statement. He had to stop himself from saying something rash in his shock. Birdy's head tilted as he shuffled a little closer. “I thought you didn't care about them? What happened?”

“I don't.” He said it like it was obvious, eyes narrowing for a moment. “B-But I can't live without answers, anymore. I can't-- I- I jus’ want to know why I wasn't good enough.”

Birdy gave a sigh. There was something that rubbed him the wrong way about the statement. Without thinking, he objected. “Mac, you know that's not why they did it. You haven't even met them--”

“N-No, you don't get it, Mackenzie.” Birdy silenced at the use of his real name, and the far firmer tone, almost angry. But his voice softened when he continued. “I- I grew up here, i-in there-- an'- a-an’ they put me through fuckin’ Hell an’ back. All I wanted was t’ b-be… Jus’... Wit’ somebody that loved me, for f-f-fuckin' once! I-- I-I wanted a dad, a mom, a s-somethin’. A-Anything. B-But nobody wanted me when I wanted someone.”

He was crying again, but he hastily reached up to wipe the trail of tears away again. Birdy didn't argue with his response. It was true; it was not something he'd ever come close to understanding, having grown up with almost everything at his feet. “D-Doc… will always be more of a parent t-t’ me, more than they'll ever be, y-y'know. I jus’...” He shook his head. “I want- I want an answer, b-before I lose 'em again…”

“...Okay. O-Of course.” Birdy breathed out. He couldn't stop Mac from doing what he wanted, anyway. And if this was what he wanted, and his parents- wherever they were- agreed, then… There wasn't much more he could do besides root for him in his corner.

“Look…” He sighed  “Sorry, f’ bein'- bein’ a dick about it.” Mac waved dismissively. The comment earned a little smile from the other, and even if his face was still raw and reddened from crying, he managed one himself. He stared between the chain link fence for another minute, before turning back to him, shaking his head again.

“L-Let's go-- I-I'll be here all day, otherwise…” He mumbled, beginning to walk ahead, much slower than before. A hand gently pat his back as he walked, and Mac glanced up at Birdy. The taller boxer's eyes were full of concern and uncertainty, but he wore a smile.

“I… promise. I promise I'm always here for you, okay?” Birdy said, voice soft and gentle. “You're my best friend. I just want the very best for you.”

As if nothing had happened, he scoffed, rolling his eyes. Right back to the boisterous attitude, it seemed. “Oh shut up, you fuckin’- fuckin’ sap.”

Despite his remark, a smile formed on his own face, even if it were weak.

“R-Right back atcha.”

[pavlovers]

hello lad(ie)s i apologize for not being all that active for the past few weeks i have been spending my out-of-school hours sleeping, having feverish bouts due to a bad case of the flu/bronchitis/not sure tbh but im Sick, and doing midterm prep so ive just been a bit more exhausted than i usually am,, anyways just wanted 2 say that before thanking dear ol’ diana @britneyshakespeare for tagging me to do a thing, so here is that thing:

A. age - im 6teen, life is sweet when youre growing up so faaast you Gotta make the good times last!

B. birthplace - largest city in the US state connecticut

C. current time - 2:19 am as of posting (my sleeping schedule has still not been fixed clearly)

D. drink you last had - do i seem like the type of person who. consumes beverages that are not. woter

E. easiest person to talk to - my braincells r neat companions sometimes i suppose

F. favorite songs (currently) - hmm i was listening to fast as you can by fiona apple a lot a few days ago,, also i just very recently listened to anderson paak’s oxnard and hh tracks like tints and anywhere the california lust is realllll (im sorta thinking of moving in with my cousin and attending school there after i graduate high school)

G. grossest memory - any time i have ever gone 2 school on my period ever

H. horror yes or no - yeah i enjoy it i guess in the most basic sense. read/watched my goosebumps and my encylopedias of the supernatural as a kid. ive only really read a couple of horror novels and the horror-movies-ive-watched-list is severely lacking but yknow the very least i watch buzzfeed unsolved on a semi-regular basis

I. in love - dont know. dont care.

J. jealous of - people who can go an hour without hacking up half their lungs

K. kids - theyre kool little dudes. not interested in parenting one or multiple ones.

L. love at first sight or walk by again - don't have the personal experience to like. say shit so whatever u wanna believe man

M. middle name - ______

N. number of siblings - half sister, shes 21, barely know her

O. one wish - just wanna be done w high school already without like,, having 2 live thru the rest of it maybe?

P. person you last called - i dont call people

Q. question you always get asked - not a question but. old people like to go on about having old people friends that have the same name as me

R. random fact about you - the only friends i talk to during school are the sophomores at my lunch table who like to burst out random cody ko memes and the girl in my chemistry class who really likes cuffing her jeans and somehow understands delocalized molecular orbital theory

S. song you last sang - the hymn “just as i am” by charlotte elliot for choir class (we r singing a very jazzy arrangement of it its kinda cool)

T. time you woke up - 6:20 am unfortunately (was expecting un delayed opening for school today but snow day calculator fed me lies apparently. Sad!)

U. underwear color - yellow i think im not gonna check

V. vacation destination - been there many times already but like,, id like to go down 2 manhattan w my friend and spend the day w her!! we’ve talked about it many times bc theres nothing to do in southern ct when u cant driveTM but my parents are :// about it also with our dumb ap workloads we probably wouldnt be able to go until the summer

W. worst habit - being a real negative nancy

X. x-ray - had them, yeah. dentist obviously also that one time i went to the emergency room because i couldn't breathe and they wanted to know if there was something in my lungs

Y. your favorite food - i have been subsisting off purely congee for the past few weeks (that's not what it's called in my parents language so it's like weird calling it that but yeah basically rice but it's goopy)

Z. zodiac sign - 🦂

tagging: @murobrown @an-aviary-far-from-home @loneliness-rose @orchestralmanoeuvrez @home-in-orbis and anyone else who would want to i dont even know if ppl do tag things anymore so feel free to ignore if u don't and i tagged u