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alchely · 8 months ago

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My Top Gallavich fics

So, under the advice of the lovely @iangallagherisadeadman I've decided to compile a favorites Gallavich fic list along with a brief rec of each, this won't be a strict top 10 cause I'm not gonna torture myself into excluding some of these stories on some made-up self imposed arbitrary rules.

A bunch of disclaimers: most of these fics are long fics, going from 30k words up, I'm not purposefully excluding shorter fics, I have read plenty of them, but they do have a harder time sticking in my head months after reading.

Most of these fics will be explicit, just read the tags on the fic itself if you want to find out more.

Some of these fics don't have links because the authors chose to lock them and as such make them unlinkable, in order to read them you will need to go through the author's page while you're logged in your AO3 account.

This ended up ballooning out of control and is A LOT longer than ten fics, I apologize in advance :p.

YOU'LL NEVER SEE US AGAIN – spoonfulstar - 231k words

Mickey and Ian have been students at Marceline boarding school their whole lives, as their time at the institute draws toward the end they will start to discover many things, about themselves, about each other and about the world they live in.

THIS FIC! I CRIED! The number of fanfiction that are able to make me cry can be counted on a singular hand, the emotional stakes get higher and higher as the story goes on, leading to a beautiful and bittersweet climax.

This story will make you think and feel deeply about topics you'd never think a shameless fic would delve into.

I am obsessed with Mickey in this fic, he and Ian grow up in an environment that could not be more removed from South Side Chicago and yet his personality is still so recognizably and distinctly Mickey.

The story goes very dark at times, and the fic itself could be considered lengthy, but I assure you the author has made sure to not make you feel it. Those 200k words flowed so well the story did not feel long at all.

HELP ME (TEAR DOWN MY REASON) – wehangout - 34k words

Mickey is a detective and Ian becomes a suspect in an investigation except Mickey already knows him because he's his favorite dancer.

This fic falls under the umbrella of fics where “Mickey is so in love with Ian he does something unbelievably crazy”.

Oooh boy, this fic, it's written in second person (yes you've read that right), tbh out of all fics I've read from this author I think this one was the easiest to adjust mentally to the change in perspective.

I loved Mickey’s “love” in this, just… This raw connection to Ian, the perfect cocktail of feelings, I could read that all day long.

IN ANOTHER WORLD – Roryonic - 249k words

Mickey does not get sent to prison at the end of S5, what happens after and how his presence influences future events (mostly Ian, but also every other Gallagher as well as his own family).

As far as I'm concerned this fic is the closest to a perfect S6 and beyond fix-it. The dialogue writing in this story is so close to canon Shameless that I could picture entire scenes in my head with the actors playing the characters, with their body and personality quirks.

Sometimes I find myself describing this fic like it's the actual show's deleted scenes, “Look, Mickey has his own storyline! And Mandy is here! And the existence of Yevgeni does not become a plot hole!”

There are some Mickey lines in this fic that to me are as canon as if they'd been in the show. Absolutely iconic writing.

I love this author so here's a rec of some of their other longfics, however I highly suggest a lot of their other much shorter stuff as well:

BATTLESHIPS AND LOVE BOATS: Ian and Mickey start their “no strings attached” kind of sex relationship a little later than canon but their attraction and love is just as strong. This is a sort of High School AU that turns into a Prison AU that turns into something else and every shift is just as lovely as the next.

YOU SMELL LIKE LOVE: Ian and Mickey are childhood friends, to the point that the rest of the Gallaghers might as well consider Mickey a seventh brother, mmmh, I sure wonder how things will start to change. Look, I never thought I'd love a childhood friends AU for Gallavich yet here I am, if it's good it's good.

ME AND THE DEVIL: Mickey unconsciously calls for a vengeance demon and Ian Gallagher shows up at his door, because Mickey is a stubborn dumbass they fall in love instead. This story has a lot of twists and turns and the premise is only the very beginning of the story. I LOVED it!

THE INCREASINGLY POOR DECISIONS OF IAN GALLAGHER – Shamelessquestions - 309k words

Ian is a dancer in a club, he accidentally gets involved in the affair of a dangerous mafia don, but the true danger is the attraction he and the mafioso’s right hand Mickey feel for each other as soon as they meet.

What. A. Classic. Truly, an unforgettable story, and I don't mean this in hyperbole, I read this story around… 2016/2017 during my second round in the Shameless fandom, then I read countless other fics in a lot of other fandom and yet this story was the only one that my mind retained from back then, to the point that I could still remember some of the finer details as well as the final plot twists when I came back to reread it.

The plot is constructed beautifully and the original characters (part of the Shamelessquestions fanfiction universe, as they come back time and time again in every one of their AU to fulfill their role in the story) are just as vibrant.

What a story, truly.

Favorite original character in this AU: Sal, his downfall is so satisfying and yet so pitiful to read.

TEENAGERS SCARE THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF ME – Mellow_Yellow - 221k words

Ian finds something scary and calls Mickey for help, even though they had only reconnected that very day after two years of not seeing each other. Together, they get sucked into a situation they weren't at all prepared for. Can they even admit that they're in over their head?

The very beginning of this fic is SO cinematic it grabbed my interest from the very first scene and didn't let go until the end, DO NOT search for spoilers.

The only warning I'll give is that it does deal with a bit of gore and what I'm personally gonna define as slight psychological horror. That's it. Enjoy!

BROKE STRAIGHT BOYS – dancermk - 66k words

Mickey becomes a porn actor for a site where he has to pretend he's straight and not enjoying the copious amount of gay sex he's having on camera, enter Ian, another actor under the same agency and their off the chart physical chemistry.

This story has, needless to say, some really, really good smut. I especially loved their first time together, but every sex scene in this story is seared in my mind.

ETHERIZED AGAINST THE SKY – Snarfle - 213k words

So, I debated whether I should add this fic or not, but I think if there is one fic that will stay in my mind long after this Shameless binge of the past couple of months it's this one, and it should absolutely become one of those fic that everyone in the fandom should read.

After Mickey gets shot by Kash his life takes a completely different direction and he ends up in a group home where, through many difficult times, he turns his life around.

So many iconic moments in this fic, some funny as fuck, some sad, some so absurd that I'm surprised they weren't lifted straight from Shameless, one so gruesome in the very first chapter that I was surprised to have such a visceral feeling from just words on a screen. Yeah, this story will stay with me for a long time.

OLD RULES FOR NEW SIDE PIECES – Shamelessquestions - 217k words

Ian is a Fed and he spots Mickey looking suspicious in an art museum, the mutual attraction is overwhelming, Mickey is not what he seems and Ian is already with someone else, but that's not gonna stop him from pursuing what he and Mickey have.

Putting it as bluntly as I can, this fic made me face the realization that I love cheating fics (if the cheating happens to someone else to bring together the endgame couple). I have already reread this fic twice and I could probably go for another one and not get tired of it, it's that good, and out of all this author's fics it's probably my favorite.

Favorite original characters in this AU: It's a three way tie between Dre, Ivan and Carrie, they're all very captivating in this story.

Other fic from this author I'd recommend cause I really love their style:

LOST IN TRANSLATION: Ian meets a very attractive man while he's in Ukraine who doesn't speak English, a mere language barrier won't stop him from flirting for hours. (adorable)

YOU MAKE ME FEEL HUMAN – Dragona - 66k words

Ian is an assassin, he meets Mickey and thus begins a very sick love story.

To say I'm obsessed with this fic is an understatement, I suggest to everyone to just go read the original author’s own description of the fic, it sets the tone of the story magnificently.

This is an Ian Gallagher that almost resembles Jerome (also played by Cameron in Gotham) but like… a slightly more subdued and saner S1/S2 version of him. I love the layers that get peeled right in front of my eyes, the madness that creeps in a bit more every chapter. I LOVE this story.

DRIED INK - 87k words

This fic combines my two favorite Gallavich-specific tropes, one being ‘Mickey comes back from prison after s6, Ian is with someone else’ and ‘Ian cheats on that someone else for Mickey’

I love the Gallaghers in this and how unsurprised they are at Ian going back to Mickey right away. It's a little jewel of a fic.

Mickey tries SO hard to stop himself and Ian in this but their love is too magnetic, they're irresistible to each other.

THE QUESTION OF NORMAL – blue_newman - 92k words

Ian is a prison counselor, Mickey is in prison, they fall in love and it's beautiful and Ian is incredibly devoted to Mickey in this fic and I fell in love with them both in this.

KINDA RAW – catgrassplantdad - 6k

Quite simply this is my favorite short pwp fic.

Illustrating those “five times” in one night that Mickey references in 11x01.

This fic is so hot, I love it <3

QUATERVOIS – DodgerBear - 51k words

Soldier Mickey gets stationed in the middle of nowhere and meets a farmer called Ian who makes him question everything.

Falling under the same umbrella of “Mickey does something crazy for Ian” fics and this is why it stuck in my mind even if it's been a while since I've read it.

I LOVE this story, their dialogues and everything that happens in it. The setting is lovely and you will fall in love with the description of Ian’s farm.

Other fic by the same author that I also loved:

BURDEN OF PROOF: Cop Mickey gets caught in a legal battle between the two oldest Gallagher brothers, something doesn't feel right though…

THE WORDS HE DOESN'T SAY: Mickey is released before Ian in s10 and has to meet a court-mandated therapist. The story is from the therapist POV and goes AU from the beginning of s10 in that Mickey gets involved back into Yev and Svetlana’s life, the dialogue is, quite obviously, the main attraction of the story and it's really well done. (Also, written in first person).

THE MENAGERIE – CrossMyDNA - 147k words

Ian decides to re-explore his bdsm preferences at The Menagerie where he meets sub extraordinaire Mickey on his very first visit.

Shameless is undoubtedly the fandom that opened my eyes to what bdsm could be back in… approx 2016? When that other popular bdsm fic was still around *ahem*.

So it definitely feels like a sign that coming back into the fandom this fic now exists and is SO GOOD.

Obviously it's very explicit, the smut in this fic is one of the best I've ever read.

The chemistry between Ian and Mickey sizzles off the screen and can absolutely be felt even in moments not of the nsfw variety, absolutely recommended!

MICKEY MILKOVICH’S GUIDE TO FLIRTING – whatwouldmickeydo - 40k words

An s2 “missing moments” between Gallavich, completely canon compliant, all under the pretense that Mickey is following a step by step guide to flirting.

I wish this fic was describing canon moments, not kidding a single bit, I wish I could somehow magically manifest these scenes into existence they're that good and fit that well into canon.

M8TE – gallawitch - 53k words

Omegaverse fic where Ian and Mickey both start using an app and end up matching with each other, even though a connection is made almost instinctively, coming to terms with it with a sound mind will take a bit longer…

Hey,had to have at least one of these on here lol

I love omegaverse and this was everything I wanted from it, couldn't have asked for anything better really <3.

SHACKLED – MyRelapse - 19k words

Ian has a change of heart and he decides that Mickey IS the one he wants, even if he's still in prison, so he keeps in contact and goes through every hoop imaginable to have him back as soon as possible.

Reading this made me so happy like I could burst, love it.

WAITING ON MY OWN TOO LONG – Ride4812 - 266k words

This rec more than any other on this list is what I'm gonna consider self indulgent because it covers the trope I always craved to read in such a satisfying way: Canon AU where Mickey comes back from prison after 8 years, Ian has found someone else but the moment the two meet again they fall back into each other right away.

The series is made up of 4 smaller fics:

One more night

Something more this time

No more lonely nights

Ain't this life so sweet

(I will point out here and nowhere else that the last installment of this series has some segment that probably needed to be re-read a couple more times, but by that point I was too invested, and the quality fluctuates a lot only in certain parts)

The writing style is very direct and to the point, which I love, the smut is very present and written beautifully and most importantly never boring.

Ian is a MESS in this fic and had me Stressed™, mostly cause for some reason I can't handle too much casual depiction of drug abuse and addiction (I know, ironic considering the fandom).

Conflicts and resolutions are never clean cut, they don't necessarily resolve quickly or definitely or the way you probably imagine they should and I find this level of realism very satisfying.

Taking a bit of space here at the end to also rec a couple other Ride4812 fics that I also loved:

COUP DE FOUDRE - A model/photographer AU where Ian and Mickey fall in love the instant they meet and do some crazy things because of that.

HOPE HE MIGHT - A lawyer AU where Ian and Mickey are on opposing sides for the same client, an interesting murder mystery steeped in a religious cult.

Generally I feel like this author is really good at depicting just how unapproachable Mickey can be to anyone that isn't called Ian Gallagher and I eat it up every time.

WHAT THE NIGHT DOES TO THE DAY – andchaos - 9k words

A Gallavich childhood friends AU with a quite original arrangement for the story and the various segments of their lives. Very satisfying read.

RANSOM – BeckyHarvey29 - 112k words

Terry sends his sons to kidnap a Gallagher child to force Frank into paying back the money he owes, unfortunately for him Mickey and his brothers kidnap Ian, and a whole other kind of story unfolds.

Mickey and Ian falling in love in this fic is such a good read. I don't wanna spoil anything of how that or the kidnapping plot goes, since the two are so intertwined. Just know that it will be worth it.

UNDER LOCK AND KEY – Suzy_Queue - 106k words

Ian is assigned the night shift at his new job where he provides spare keys to his fellow college students stuck outside their dorm rooms. To make matters worse his shift coworker is the oh so infamous Mickey Milkovich.

I am magnetized by the way this author writes their pining for each other, their attraction and obsession, how it blooms and unfolds. This fic in particular had me develop a very bad case of tunnel vision, couldn't really turn away until I finished reading it all.

I still haven't read everything this author has to offer, but so far I also loved:

INHUMAN: A mysterious force starts attacking people close to Mickey and it all seems to lead to a mysterious redhead Mickey is oh so coincidentally obsessed with. Very cool paranormal story.

THESE FOOLISH GAMES: Mickey takes over as the boss of the local branch of a trampoline park, where Ian is one of the employees, they annoy each other to no end but what they don't know is that they're secretly texting each other.

IS THERE SOMEWHERE – andchaos - 48k words

Mickey is born with no words on his skin, convinced he's going to live a life of misery cause no one will ever say the words he's destined to hear, he's not a very happy guy. Here comes mute boy Ian who crashes into his life and won't let go.

A classic Soulmate AU, I love that like in a lot of other Gallavich fics their physical connection and compatibility usually comes before their emotional one, it is one aspect that I feel distinguishes their relationship to many other fandom’s ships.

LAST NIGHT AT THE VERONA GRAND HOTEL – the_rat_wins - 27k words

Mickey starts working at an ancient hotel who's supposedly haunted. Mickey doesn't believe in ghost stories, he is much more interested in this one guest he meets at night during his shift.

What a cinematic experience this fic is! Absolutely recommended, the length of it makes it so you can read it in the same time it would take to watch the same story in movie format.

Other fics by the same authors that have impressed me:

FADE THIS ONE TO BLACK: Ian dies of overdose in a pile of snow outside the club, when Mickey finds him there he vows to do anything to get him back.

I don't know why but this fic in particular gives off the vibes of being a pilot for a ya urban fantasy TV series, except we gotta imagine everything that comes after the first episode lol

NO LIE: Ian and Mickey are Soulmates and as such they can't lie to each other. This series is short and sweet and full of feelings, perfect

PARAGRAPHS – pink_ink - 100k words

Ian becomes a reading tutor for ex-convicts, Mickey is among them and Ian starts paying him more and more attention.

This is a story where they meet under very different circumstances and where they've lived slightly different lives compared to canon and yet they're still able to find each other in the end.

Also, sign me up for every fic where Ian has to work just as hard to help Mickey and care for him as the opposite, where Ian's brand of stubbornness is the only way to get through to Mickey.

I'm also adding a couple of ongoing fics, just two to not overwhelm too much.

NONE THE WISER – Loftec - ~218k words

Ian starts visiting Mickey’s diner, it takes a while and yet no time at all to warm up to each other.

I'm captivated by the author's writing style. I love Ian's and Mickey’s relationship. I love how they sort of take their time and yet pine helplessly for each other.

I'm obsessed with the fact that the whole point of the fic doesn't appear until two thirds of the way in cause the diner scenes were just too good to pass up on lol (and I 100% agree with them).

INTRO TO QUANTUM DATING – spoonfulstar - ~563k words

Canon Mickey and Ian meet in University. A college slice of life but drenched in the casual (and not so casual) darkness of canon shameless.

The dark humor in this is fenomenal and left me gasping laughing so many times.

Unexpectedly Ian in this fic is pursuing a linguistics oriented degree, which was what I studied when I tried university, the topics are explained in such an accurate way I have to assume the author studied them themselves and that this story is somewhat a reimagining of their own college experience because if not this would be an absurd amount of accurate research to make.

Reading this fic feels like living through the American college experience from the comfort of my home lol.

As I said before, this author's way of writing does not weight you down even with its length, the story flows perfectly from one scene to the next and before you realize it you've reached the end and you have to accept that 500k words weren't even enough.

Let's end this list with some quick recommendations

WHILE WE'RE MAKING OTHER (PEOPLE'S) PLANS - kyasticlikestea

Mickey is volunteered to organize someone's else's wedding after he managed to salvage his own so well, he'll do it, but his own Southside way.

THIS IS THE ROAD TO RUIN - bricoleur10

Ian and Mickey never go to rob Ned, the story unfolds differently from there. A fix-it with a lot of Gallavich longing , very good smut and some really good dialogue.

HEY, HONEY MINE (I WAS THERE ALL THE TIME) - serveteas

Mickey talks about his crush with Iggy and accidentally pronoun-slips. Short, to the point, funny af and I just really love it. Takes place after their fight at Kash’n Grab in s2.

AGAINST GLASS - AllThatMatters

Ian gets traded from one club to another as a dancer (and more) and ends up in the Milkovich family's club. This is a Mafia!Mickey story with some pretty tight sub-plots, I love his brothers in this.

ONE OF A KIND - fckyeahgallavich

Mickey breaks his finger and it has to be set in the hospital, chaos - of the homophobic kind - ensues. Protective!Ian, I wanna hug Mickey in this.

IAN THE FRIENDLY GHOST - Ravenheart

Ian is haunting an apartment and Mickey starts living in it, Ian is maybe starting to have a crush on him. This isn't angsty!

BLOOD IN, BLEED OUT - brewrosemilk, Whatsastory

Historical AU. Perfectly innocent bystander Ian Gallagher is thrown into the affairs of the Ukrainian Mafia back in 1954, his relationship with Mickey will span decades and he won't remain innocent for long, the mafia can corrupt anyone.

TEENAGE RUNAWAY - sadwhales

Ian comes to live and finish high school with his half siblings on the South Side, he's immediately captivated by a boy sitting under the bleachers, maybe his North Side naivety will catch his attention too.

GARDEN SONG - melwrtiesthings

A glimpse into their lives in their West Side apartment, a lot of initial angst due to a manic episode and then a lot of recovery and healing and learning more about themselves.

#gallavich #shameless #Gallavich fic rec #fic rec #ao3 #fic rec taken wayyy too seriously #jesus what is wrong with me #f*ck it I'll just tag this now and deal with the links later #if anyone wants to contribute to the list through tags or comments you are WELCOME ❤️#my post

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dailyrimuru · 5 months ago

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Welcome to Daily Rimuru!

I am SwissChocolates, known by most as a Youjo Senki fanfic writer, I have also delved into the realm of Tensura fanfics and more recently with this; art. I wanted to get better at drawing, and so I decided to start simple with the small blue blob! Here I will post random drawings of Rimuru or other Tensura characters ideally every day in hopes of improving my art skills. Totally not an idea I ripped off from Rimupon's Daily Degurechaff. If it makes it any better, they were a great help in setting this up. I'm not the most familiar with tumblr, so forgive me as I fumble through most things. If you have any ideas for future daily posts feel free to send an ask or message of some kind and I'll do my best to as many as I feel that my art skills will allow. If I don't respond to your ask, its either because I have a backlog, I'm not currently doing asks, or that it's not something I believe I'm skilled enough to do yet and will probably try later. Daily posts will be tagged as #dailyrimuru with any others being tagged with other tags. Apologies in advance for when I inevitably miss a day or two or multiple.

#pinned post

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quarantineddreamer · 10 months ago

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✨ B's RebelCaptain Rec List ✨

Apologies in advance as I have NO DOUBT that I missed including some very talented individuals and their works in this list. (This is by no means comprehensive.)

I haven't been here all that long, but wow--since day one I've been blown away by the talent in this fandom and the dedication of all the creators.

So, thank you lovely souls for sharing your beautiful art (in all its many forms) for us to enjoy--and thank you RC community as a whole for being so lovely and welcoming this past year! I am truly grateful to be screaming/crying/rewriting canon with you 💖

Give Up the Ghost by @frostbitepandaaaaa

I mean...what can I say? I love all of Frost's writing, but this was the first work I ever read of hers and it is devastating and gorgeous and will make you lose your mind. I remember the first time I read it just...lingering on certain sentences because I was in awe of how beautiful they were. Just read it. Trust me. (And then check out her WIP 12 Days afterwards!)

threshold by @astromechs

Another writer whose works I love. (Okay, that's pretty much everyone on this list--the RC fandom is so frickin talented). But for me, this fic in particular stands out as one that gives incredible insight into Cassian's character--and an adorable story overall. Heartfelt and beautiful.

built on hope by @luciechat

I am particularly obsessed with chapter 3 of this collection of prompt-writes Getting Back Together (in the Cold). Lucie paints the picture so clearly and the tension throughout is delicious. Highly recommend reading this RC Hoth fic--and Lucie's other amazing works!

we were never going to make it by @fulcrumstardust

Okay off the bat: be mindful of the tags! This was a whumptober fic and it is BIG SAD. But it is also so, so beautiful. The emotion woven throughout cuts to the bone and as painful as it was, the premise of the story was very well executed. (And if you're looking for a lighter read--maybe a spicy one--Moria's one-shot SOLAR STORM has such an incredible setup. The sexual tension is so well done.)

The RebelCaptain Romance Collection by @agentjackdaniels

I couldn't choose just one from this collection! Luce writes the softest, sweetest, fluffiest stories for RC that you will ever read. (Which makes perfect sense if you're lucky enough to get to know her because Luce is such a genuine, sweet soul.) These fics are like a warm-hug for the soul--just what you need after watching Rouge One.

the things you said by @gaygingersnaps

Again: I am not usually one for Modern AUs but I think the RC fandom is changing me and the first I ever read was Eli's amazing fic. I am obsessed with how Eli writes Jyn's internal dialogue. It's so in character and sharp and will make you smile and shake your head and go "Oh, Jyn!" This collection of stories is idiots-in-love like nothing else and you will fall in love with the world Eli has so thoughtfully crafted for a modern-day RC.

objection, your honor by @andorerso

I'm not usually one for modern AUs, but this fic is just so much fun. The banter between Cass and Jyn is so in character and so sharp and witty and the whole time I was reading I had a grin on my face. (These two idiots.) I love all the little details Sissi considers in this AU (Chewie being the dog for example), but that's no surprise! She is the queen of AUs!

Tethered (to the Story We Must Tell) by @dilf-din

I just absolutely loved the setup for this fic. Jess manages to fit these characters into a magical world so seamlessly by embedding the most incredible details from the Star Wars universe. (I was obsessed with the "stormtroopers".) Jess's writing is so smooth and rich and will immediately grab your attention.

Coping Mechanisms by @mosylufanfic

I think this was the first fic I ever read of mosylu's! I love the way she writes Jyn--always perfectly in character, strong and sassy. But in this fic in particular, I love the softness she brings to Jyn in how she cares for Cassian. I found it to be a very beautiful, healing read. (But if you're looking for something a bit longer or more upbeat! I mean, take your pick. Mosylu is another author who is amazing at AUs and her works are always such fun reads.)

RC Proposal by @ninsletamain

I could have put any of nins' pieces down as a rec. (Like seriously go scroll her feed she's insanely talented and her work blows my mind everytime without fail). But I chose this one because it is just so rich and full of detail, I love the story it tells, and you cannot help but smile whenever you look at it.

Claw Machine by @winterdruid

Definitely an all-time favorite for me. I remember making a joke about claw-machine as a first date when I was doing a RO rewatch with some friends and then this masterpiece showed up on my feed and my jaw dropped?! It's so fun and cute and well-done and I reblog it every time I see it soooo.

Seashore (for RC Fluffbruary) by @adeptnenyim

I love the scenery, their poses, their expressions, the quote?! Ahhh all of it! Nen's art is so soft and special and gives me all the feels and this one is no exception.

BTS of RO Inspired by @art-question-mark

I have always loved the picture this piece is based off of. In my head, it is happy Jyn and Cass. In my head, it is canon. Natalie's style is so beautiful and I love some of the quotes Natalie pulls from the Rogue One novel to go with the art!

Pretty Cute by @muguathepapaya

This piece is super cute and exactly what they deserved. I'm obsessed. Gives me all the warm and fuzzies. Sunshine on a rainy day, so gorgeous.

Time to Wake Up by @eegnm

Okay are you noticing the theme yet? I love seeing these two happy, and this scene in particular is just so...warm. I love the cuddly vibes, their expressions, all of it. You can feel the love in it.

losers by @necr0mancers

I am obsessed with the look they are exchanging. Very conspiratorial and so true to them. I also just love the style of this artists' works and the sense of humor woven through many of their pieces.

Elevator Scene by @satmolly

Nope I actually do not have words for this one. I think it says enough. (This happened, and it happened just like this and it is so very beautiful).

Favorite Scene (beach) by @dramaticmusicplaying

Another one that leaves me speechless. (Okay, they ALL do I feel like I am not doing these artists justice I'M SORRY). I just think this piece captures the beach perfectly and I love the style and all the colors and I kinda need to cry after looking at it okay?!

Jyn/Cassian Smooch by @barrikae

I am totally obsessed with this artist's style and this image in particular is just: ahhhhh! You know? Like look at themmmmm. Thank you for this barrikae.

Space Travel by @freebooter4ever

Your honor, they are holding hands and they are so very sleepy and I am so very in love with this piece. I love the artist's style and again, amazing scene set. Lives rent free in my mind.

Tagging creators for this one vs specific sets (cause you CANNOT make me choose honestly) and linking this post I wrote awhile back about how incredible I think you all are! (As in: I specifically had RC creators in mind when I wrote that post.)

*This is the list I am most nervous about cause I am almost certain I am forgetting people so if you see this and you make gifs for RC please know I love you and your work <3

@bartowskis

@staticwaffles

@jyndor

@andorerso

@jemmasimmons

@sydneyadmu

@garethsedwards

@gizkalord

@kalikoris

@dailyrebelcaptain

@therebelcaptainnetwork

#dailyrebelcaptain #drcvalentinescelebration #rebelcaptain recs #and yup! im late with this 😅 it took me probably 6 hours to pull this together and i think i could have spent 6 hours more but #my wrist is starting to give me grief unfortunately #so here goes nothing #(i am super nervous to post this for some reason!)#3..2..1..go

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hellaverseconfessions1369420 · 1 month ago

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Long confession ahead, apologies in advance.

Look, I don't get heated about shipping. I like what I like, and I look at things I like. If I don't like whatever someone is posting, I'll filter the tags, and if they aren't using the tags appropriately, I will block them. It's fairly easy for me to avoid ships I personally dislike most of the time. I do all of the things I'm supposed to, and yet I'm still having this problem.

There is one singular ship on God's green earth that kills all of my enjoyment for both of the characters involved, and it is radioapple. I have never felt such strong emotions about any other ship before in any of the fandoms I'm part of. It's fucking everywhere. I genuinely cannot use this website if I want to see Lucifer or Alastor fanart/fanfic, and I'm not moving sites.

But God. I'm so fucking sick and tired of seeing "this post contains filtered content: #radioapple." When S1 first came out, I counted 37 blocked posts in a row on top of #Alastor on one given day. I had to scroll through 37 blocked fucking posts before I found ONE that wasn't about fucking radioapple. And that isn't counting all the OTHER Alastor ships, because of course that's all anyone gives a shit about anymore.

I'm on mobile, so I can't use browser extensions to make Tumblr's filtering system actually do what I want it to (delete every radioapple post, forever). I also don't feel like buying a laptop for fucking Tumblr. I've been getting back into HH after falling out of it for a while for related reasons, and I forgot how much angrier and more unhappy I am coming out of #Alastor or (to a lesser extent) #Lucifer than when I went in. Which is super awesome considering they're my two faves.

I wish I was kidding when I say I have actually cried real tears more than once over this. I'm aroace, and I thought maybe for once I'd get to feel at least a little bit included and represented in fandom as a whole. I thought having a canon aroace character would be that for me, at least one tag I could semi-comfortably browse and feel like I'm actually part of shit and not a spectator for once, but obviously not. I don't even get to look at fanart of a character I enjoy without being constantly reminded of how different and alone I am, even when that character is different in exactly the same way as me. Even characters like Alastor that are written to be like me aren't written for me. Because why would anyone create anything for someone like me to enjoy when they could instead jam a little more sex and romance in there?

I once scrolled through #Alastor blocking all the radioapple posters for so long that I reached the bottom of the page. Tumblr would not show me any more posts and I had to reload it. I blocked 209 different blogs, and it barely made a dent. 209. I can't curate my way out of this. I genuinely think I just don't get to like those characters anymore, and it fucking sucks. I want my deer man back.

TL;DR: I cannot enjoy these characters I deeply relate to with how prevalent and fucking inescapable this one ship is, and I'm not sure how to fix it. Frankly I'm not sure it's fixable, but I would love it if this wasn't something else I just don't get to have like everyone else. Someone tell me what to do about this. I want to have fun too.

I understand why you would think that. I’m probably aroaceflux and I can see some alastor in me (aroacewise, not serial killer wise) and why you wouldn’t want to see the ships you don’t like. Unfortunately that’s how many fandoms work, they’ll just keep shipping.

to be honest, I don’t know what to say, but thanks for the confession and I hope things get better for you

#confession #confession blog #hellaverse #hellaverse confession #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel confessions #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor

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clairedaring · 7 months ago

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someone asks me abt cfans reaction to ep. 4 and boi is it JUST as polarising as the international fans reaction.

of course, on the one hand you have a handful of "oh ming is not scummy enough for 188 scum ml" or "there's not enough conflict and tension because the scene is so short" or "they should have kept him meaner like the novel"

on the other hand, you also have many cfans praising up and poom for their performances in this ep and how this scene was adapted well so that it's so much more mild but still gets the message across.

the biggest difference you definitely won't see opinions like "ming is such a terrible character i hope he doesn't get together with joe"

but was it easy to read through the backhanded compliments for the writing while also shading up poompat's visual ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ (eg: "it's easy to see that the series had to modify yan ming xiu character bc the actor's appearance is not good enough to make him less a scumbag. after all, if ymx is ugly and scumbag, it is impossible to understand why zhou xiang can tolerate him again and again. i feel that after the adaptation, ymx is no longer so mean, and the character has been beautified a lot.")

... so not at all easy... so i apologize in advance for the anon who sent me the ask abt cfans reaction to ep.4 (if you come across this in the msi tag) bc my blood is boiling from reading all the backhanded compliments about up's acting vs his visual like gahhhhhhhhh. i will get to this ask eventually (because there's A LOT of praises for ep.4) but for now i think i should lay off reading ppl's opinions about ep.4 bc just the slightest mean comment abt an actor's appearance can make my mood down for the entire day.

up poompat is insanely handsome and is the perfect MING (not yan ming xiu) to ME. and all other opinions is invalid (i'm simply blind, do not @ me).

#claire opens her goddamn mouth #my stand in #my stand in the series #msi thoughts

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geode-crystal · 6 months ago

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Intro Post

Hello everyone! Call me Crystal (she/her or they/them, no huge preferences here). I've been a Whump and Hurt/Comfort enjoyer forever, but only recently discovered the whump community. Finally decided to throw my hat in the ring!

Made this little blog as a treasure trove to hoard all my favorite whump, angst, and hurt/comfort posts and art like a dragon. I plan to put my own whump thoughts/concepts up here as well (and maybe I'll be tempted into original writing if I see a really good prompt or something 🥰) because I love seeing my characters beat up until they crack open like geodes.

I am An Adult (TM) so there might be a couple NSFW things up here, but they will all be tagged appropriately.

Apologies in advance to all the whump blogs I'm about to spam reblog from lol

Likes/squicks under the cut, as well as the start of a masterlist!

Likes

Unbroken Vigil (my favorite trope ever)

Magic Whump

Sooo many other things related to Magic Whump

Nonhuman whumpee (merfolk, winged beings, any of the fun nonhuman beings you can play as in DnD...)

Bound and gagged

Kidnap and Rescue

Used as Bait (and Forced to Watch)

Caretaker x Whumpee (because I am a hopeless romantic)

Recovery Whump

Heroic Last Stand

Dislikes

Major Character Death (I need my happy endings)

Severe body modification (anything huge and unrecoverable)

Noncon

Masterlist!

Darius and Mianu stories

Used as Bait Part 1

Used as Bait Part 2

"Don't touch him" (ask response)

Control (song lyric prompt)

Random Darius and Mianu info stuff

Torture Ask Game response

Oc Ask Game 1

"Bold What Applies" tag game

Gail Carson Levine's Character Profile (tag game response)

"Find the Word" tag game

"Random Headcanon Generator" tag game

Darius and Mianu Picrew

Mianu Picrew

#whump intro #intro post #introductory post #pinned intro

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ryomku · 7 months ago

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thank you satoru - gojo satoru

synopsis: Thanks for looking at the cherry blossoms with me Satoru.

character: Gojo Satoru

tags: gojo satoru x reader, gn! reader, one sided crush, angst, no happy ending, use of y/n, no curses au!

a/n: apologies in advance for any mistakes, english is not my first language, curse you gege this is all your fault, not proofread it's like 1 am y'all I'm just sad and stressed lmao

a/n 2: took some inspo from the song: 8 Letters by Why Don't We.

You are the one who knows me best and the one who hurts me most, yet here we are seeing each other.

“Why do I pull you close but then ask you for space?”

“Am I just hurting myself?”

“Why is it so difficult to tell you that I love you?”

Isn't it amazing?

Like every day we meet without missing a beat, days where we love and hate each other.

“Are we going to change it?”

We don't know yet.

“Can I touch your heart?”

“How can I get closer to you?”

Surely I won't be able to, knowing how you are like with a heart that's as hard as stone and cold as ice. Yet, you made mine fragile like glass I am at my limit and anything can easily break it.

“Will the day that I deserve you come by?”

Let me be your love.

It's always you, you're always the one who hurts me, you make an impact in my life.

“Why can't I make an impact in your life?”

I know that if I curse at you it won't hurt, I know that if I yell at you it won't matter and I know that if I leave you won't miss me.

I know you don't love me and I still want to keep trying to win you over even if it's in vain.

“Could you do me a favor, Satoru?” Although I wanted to look into your eyes at that moment, mine only focused on the cherry blossoms and the soft pink petals that fall softly and delicately touch the ground.

I know he doesn't care about me but I still want him to do one last thing for me, I know I've bothered him too much but this is the last thing I ask of you my friend.

“What do you want me to do idiot?”

“Could you take me outside to see the cherry blossoms?”

I know I'm asking a lot of you, but please just do this for me. I fell for you many years ago and I want to be in your arms this time once and for all.

“Sure, I'll take you right now if that's okay.”

“Perfect.”

Every look, every touch makes me want to give you all of me, but I can't and I never will be able to, I know, I know that I don't deserve you and that I'm not enough for you, but at least my dream will come true.

You took me by the hand to the backyard of my house, helped me go down the stairs and stopped every time I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I'm sorry to give you so much work for this last favor.

We walked to the other side of the garden and sat under the cherry tree, as always sitting next to each other. I didn't like it but since this is the last favor I ask of you, I might as well change things. With some effort I got up from my place and let myself fall gently between your legs sensing that you were startled by how sudden everything was, I took your arms and put them around my shoulders so that you could give me a hug.

“Sometimes I wonder, what would happen if I found a soul like mine?”

“What do you mean dumbass?” Those ways you call me don't hurt me anymore Gojo, nothing hurts me anymore.

“I would like to find someone who loves me like I love that person, I want someone who loves me for who I am and not for what I do or what I can give them, I want someone who understands me and is there for me when needed, I would have loved to meet someone like that.”

“You and your love things.”

I know you don't understand them because you don't feel it the way I feel it for you Satoru, I know you don't feel it and you won't.

The sky was painted in dark colors and the clouds looked even more beautiful than before. I adore sunsets and even more so if it's with someone I love, even if that someone doesn't love me like I love them.

I wanted to tell you what I felt at that moment but I know that if I do you will live with that guilt that you did nothing to love me more and I don't like when you feel guilty, I wanted us to have a future in which we continued playing and being side by side like we've done since we were children but Satoru I can't do it anymore.

If I could be half of what you think of me, I could learn to do anything and maybe then you could love me for who I am.

I always thought I was bad but look at you, you are the best, how much I adore you and how much I love you.

Thank you for all these years my faithful friend, my confidant and my love, I will never be able to thank you for everything you have done for me, but at least I enjoyed all these years by your side my beloved, but it is time to go, maybe it hurts you that I'm leaving or maybe not, but I want to think that I am special to you and that at least in some way you love me, even if it's just as a friend.

Thank you for letting yourself be loved without knowing it.

“Thank you for seeing the cherry blossoms with me Satoru, thank you.”

“No problem, I don't mind doing this with you Y/N.”

You very rarely called me by my name, thank you for doing it in the end Satoru

“Satoru, I adore you.”

For the last time I felt my face get wet from the hot tears that I shed for the last time and for the last time I was able to see the cherry blossoms.

Closing my eyes along with the last beats of this sick heart.

Thank you Gojo Satoru, I love you.

The white haired boy felt his friend's body go limp in his arms, tightening the hug on the other body to feel its warmth.

“Did you fall asleep Y/N?”

His friend was finally in eternal slumber, it's a shame that the blue eyed boy didn't notice and slept next to his already dead friend.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #gojo saturo #jjk gojo #gojo x you

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scumashling · 6 months ago

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Welcome newcomers! You can call me Ash (they/she).

About this account

•i made this account after realizing I've been into whump for years without knowing it and discovering that I'm not alone in finding comfort in fiction about characters being put through emotional and or physical hell. I've often struggled with intense shame related to my interest in whump, especially as it's tied to my own trauma, so learning about this community has felt like a huge weight off my chest.

•fan of: defiant whumpee, intimate whumper, Lady whump, living weapon, non con body modification, drugged Whumpee, revenge whump, dehumanization, fantasy whump,Bastard whumpee, religious whump, Whumpee turned Whumper, Bad Caretaker and nsfwhump,

•I'm fairly new to tumblr and am still trying to get a feel for how things work around here, both in terms of the people and the site itself, so I apologize in advance for any possible future faux pas. I'm also a novice writer and still building my confidence in it, but I do I intend to post some of my own fiction, art, and memes.

•I'm in too many fandoms to count but currently you can expect stuff related to Chainsaw Man, Berserk, Slay the Princess, The Boys, and Delicious in Dungeon

•DNIs: I don't intend for this to be an overtly political account, and i'm not into policing people's behavior so giving a list of opinions/positions I find morally objectionable and demanding you keep away from my account if you hold them isn't my style. If I think something you posted is wack then I will simply unfollow or block you, because I am an adult who knows and enforces their own boundaries. That being said, I am a leftist (socially, economically, foreign policy wise) and related themes are more then likely to show up in my fiction, so if you have a problem with that my account probably isn't for you. The one exception to the DNI is Zionists (including "progressive" two staters) in which case, fuck Israel, fuck genocide, fuck you for supporting it, you're a N@zi, Long Live a Free Palestine 🇵🇸

•WARNING: there will be non con stuff posted on this account, as well as general content related to abuse, kink, trauma and addiction, as well as the occasional gore post. I will use appropriate tags/cws but if that is not something you can handle, or just not something you're into hearing about, please take care of yourself and disengage. I use fiction to cope with my own history and truly do not want anyone else to be harmed by it

•I do not consider myself proship or antiship and as far as I'm concerned yall both have some weird people on your side. Basically as long as you aren't being creepy or harassing anyone, have common sense around media literacy/ engaging with fiction as fiction, but don't use the fact that it's fiction to avoid thinking about real world implications/themes, you are welcome on my page.

some facts about me:

•im a nonbinary femme lesbian who's currently studying fine arts.

•I'm mixed (Asian and white)

•I'm a 23 years old

•I was diagnosed with autism at age 18. Some of my special interests include manga, horror, feminist theory, animation, media analysis, mycology, vampires and cooking.

•i adore poetry, my favorites are Lady Lazarus by Sylvia Plath, Ozymandias by Percy Shelley, and She Had Some Horses by Joy Harjo (specifically the canto Drowning Horses)

•I have been drawing for 7 years

#writeblr #whump #whump community #tw noncon #noncom whump #intro post

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bookishfeylin · 2 years ago

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Feel free to ignore if you're tired of hearing about this, but: your tags about SJM injecting real world morals into her stories and then ignoring them. Suddenly I am entirely clicking with where you are and from what point you're making your commentary. SJM is the one who chose to use modern concepts and buzz words for abuse and PTSD, and she is the one who chose to judge some characters by modern moral concepts but not others. That's what makes it so hard to do the usual analysis of characters, so I just don't. But you, if I understand you, are making your analyses to point out the flaws and holes in HER judgments. To show that SHE made it unbalanced and isn't playing by her own rules.

Yes, this is it exactly. I despise hypocrisy, and Sarah's books are unfortunately the pinnacle of such. The same standards that are used to judge Tamlin and Nesta would also render Feysand and co abusive, but the text (read: Sarah's favoritism) refuses to acknowledge that, doing a disservice to her own themes in the first place.

I also want to apologize in advance for the rant this is going to turn into, because man do I have FEELINGS about this.

Part of the reason the ACOTAR fandom is so toxic is because Mrs. Maas applied real world standards to a fantasy series, creating a conundrum where some characters are allowed to exist in and operate within a fantasy-based morality (like Rhysand, the Inner Circle, and Feyre) whilst others are held up to a stricter, real-world morality and are vehemently critiqued in text for failing to meet the moral standards of our world (Tamlin, Nesta, even Lucien), leaving fans of the latter group of characters to call out the hypocrisy in text for their characters being evaluated by standards that the former aren’t held to whilst fans of the former set of characters happily indulge in such hypocritical writing even while promoting this series as an excellent example of handling of real-world themes like abuse (and yes I did copy and paste this entire paragraph from another post of mine lol).

Some weeks back I saw someone on THAT SIDE of the fandom explain that they hated Tamlin because he abused Feyre (valid!) and pull out a picture of Sarah including the National Domestic Violence Hotline at the end of ACOFAS as evidence that liking him was morally wrong or whatever (I'd reblog the post, but OP is, again, on THAT SIDE of the fandom and sadly has me blocked now :( ).

But that same hotline is the one I've used in my analysis of why RHYSAND is abusive here, here, and here. The same source Sarah includes in these books to make a point about Tamlin being abusive also renders Rhysand abusive. But here's what gets me: The person and others like her who were reblogging that pic of the domestic violence hotline were also whining about people judging Rhysand by real world standards. Yes, I'm serious. For a topic like abuse, one deeply personal to me and many others, Sarah (and her fandom) can't pick and choose what characters to apply real world standards to. Not for something like this.

But we don't even have to use real world standards to call out the hypocrisy in how her characters were written--we can use ACOTAR's own morality as well. Case in point: Nesta's treatment in ACOSF. Locking Nesta up is treated as the right thing to do in ACOSF, but ACOMAF goes OUT OF ITS WAY to show that locking someone up is wrong and is a violation of your personal bodily autonomy, NO MATTER THE REASON. This action is often defended in one of two ways: by stans saying that Nesta was embarrassing Feysand when they needed to be keeping up appearances for the court, or, more commonly, because Nesta was an alcoholic. But neither reply holds water. If Nesta embarrassing Feysand in ACOSF was bad because they needed to keep up appearances as the court rebuilt and prepared for war with the mortal queens and Koschei, then... that justifies Tamlin getting upset with Feyre over the tithe several books earlier. That was his logic for being upset that Feyre gave the water wraith her jewelry, and also his logic for (according to fandom) "stuffing her in dresses"--keeping up appearances for the people and preventing Hybern from finding any weakness to exploit (again, this is according to fandom. In the books, the dresses were chosen by Ianthe but we both know no one pays attention and Tamlin is blamed for everything anyway). So either Tamlin was justified in ACOMAF, or Feysand are wrong. Nesta's alcoholism isn't a good excuse either, because if she were truly an alcoholic, Feysand would've put a healer in the House with her to help her through withdrawal and prevent her from having a seizure and dying, which I'll discuss in more detail in my upcoming post about Nesta. Either way, Feysand's treatment of Nesta was inexcusable by ACOTAR's own rules that say locking people up is bad, and in trying to excuse this some stans accidentally justify Tamlin's behavior in ACOMAF as he had the same excuses.

This also applies to the Inner Circle voting on whether or not to keep Nesta's powers a secret from her--didn't ACOMAF also say that that was bad and controlling on Tamlin's part? Why is Tamlin keeping Feyre's magic a secret abusive and controlling, but the Inner Circle deciding to do the same (even if it failed anyway) is fine?

The hypocrisy that began in ACOMAF in which Tamlin was declared abusive but Rhysand wasn't despite Rhysand... also being abusive spiraled out of control in ACOSF and is ultimately what fractured this fandom, and because of said hypocrisy nothing after ACOTAR 1 is enjoyable for me.

So yes. Beyond ACOTAR 1, I'm forced to evaluate the characters with the real-world morals Sarah decided to randomly include, and in doing so can't help but be faced by this series' own hypocrisy, and I'm hoping my analysis will allow others to see that the hypocrisy ultimately causes it to fold in on itself and destroys its own point.

#ask #acotar analysis #anti sjm #anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti acosf #i... i hope this made sense #im sorry for the long rant but i had some FEELINGS i needed to get out #anti rhysand

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cedarxwing · 4 months ago

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Hi, I'm new to the fandom and unsure who to ask my questions. I recently joined Tumblr and came across your posts while browsing the Hannibal meta tag. I have a few questions: What are Hannibal's feelings towards Bedelia and Alana? I remember Mads once said that Hannibal is in love with everyone on the show to some extent, so what exactly does love mean to him? Also, I'm having trouble understanding the line by Will: "You will only do that if I rejected you" (sorry, I paraphrased). I apologize if these are too many questions. Thanks in advance!

Hi, nonny, welcome to the fandom! <3

Regarding who Hannibal loves, you'll get different answers depending on who you ask. I firmly believe that Hannibal loves everyone he finds beautiful, inside and out. Alana and Bedelia certainly fit that criteria! Whether you interpret them as sex friends or romantic partners is up to you. (More thoughts on how Hannibal loves here.)

Personally, I'm a fan of Hannibal's S1 friendship with Alana. But as soon as he started dating her as an alibi, he was getting ready to let her go. (Before that, he kept her completely separate from his Ripper life for her safety... and also to keep her as a pristine character reference lol. Hannibal always has multiple motives for his friendships). I mean, he was willing to ditch her the instant Will suggested running away, so obviously he didn't view their relationship as a serious long-term thing. Tbh, I think he was mostly getting off on being in a love triangle with Will.

He was more serious about Bedelia because she had the killer instinct of a potential murder wife. He made a real go at trying to convince her to participate in his lifestyle (i.e. he wanted her to kill Dimmond in Antipasto). Sure, they weren't compatible in the end, but something tells me that the Bedelia leg dinner would've been just as romantic even without Will. 😏 I wrote about their relationship in detail here.

As for "You'd only do that if I rejected you": Hannibal knew Will would be drawn to him in prison and inevitably visit, giving him another chance to convince Will to be murder husbands. A second shot at Will is the only reason he'd ever surrender.

Will's 3x12 revelation that Hannibal was in love with him makes the "Goodbye, Hannibal" scene touching. He finally understood why Hannibal turned himself in. 🥲 But also, Will totally brings it up to rub Hannibal's failure in his face. Basically, "Aw, you actually love me... Have fun rotting in jail, loser. I'm going back home to my WIFE."

#hannibal #ask #hannibal meta

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lukevonhagen · 2 years ago

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my take on marius von hagen: part one, his approach to romance

marius has been with me for over a year now and he pretty much occupies my thoughts 24/7, and this was something i have been itching to write for a while. so... strap in, grab your juice box and your cheetos and let's get this show on the road yeah?

Fair Warning, this will not be under a read more, so i apologize in advance if it gets pretty lengthy. (edit: this post is abt 1.8k words long, wow sorry lol.)

this is going to be a character analysis... sort of; it's an analysis of the version of marius that lives in my brain rent free. given that this is an introductory post to what i believe might be a series of my insane marius ramblings, i think i should provide some insight as to what said marius is like in order for the rest of this post to make sense.

first of all, i embrace realism and i reject canon. in marius' sweet wonders card, he finally reveals the significance of the z dog tag he's always wearing. while i think it's really magical that he was able to move on from blaming himself for his mother's death by having an epiphany staring at the ferris wheel... well, i like to make him worse and i just don't think, ultimately, that it's likely or realistic. the marius in my head has a very hard time trying to justify his own existence. i'm not saying he doesn't want to live, or that he'd put himself in any kind of danger, but i believe that he works very hard in order to justify being alive (to himself). not only does he still grapple with the loss of his mother and the role he believes he had to play in that, but there's a part of him that also blames himself for giann's disappearance.

marius believes that he is a vortex that sucks in everything, that destroys everything in its wake. we know for a fact, above all else, that marius doesn't want other people to have to go down with him.

i also believe (especially due to this description) that marius personally manufactured the image he has as a playboy, as opposed to it being a reputation that was given by others which he eventually leaned into.

allow me to elaborate.

marius, in his desire to avoid people being chewed up in his life and spat back out, would want to control the situation as much as possible. there are a few reasons why i believe he'd make this reputation for himself, which are 1) having control of the narrative of himself and making sure people do underestimate him is precisely how he maintains the upper hand in many scenarios (because let's face it, no one expects ditzy, arrogant marius von hagen to be able to outsmart them), and 2) it's much easier to push people away when he makes himself seem incompetent and undesirable. he may be one of the richest men on the planet, but sometimes money isn't enough to redeem an awful composition.

all of that having been said, marius additionally has to have severe trust issues due to the fact that he has a lot of influence and wealth people undoubtably want to use him for, and said influence is the source of a traumatic experience he went through as a child that would forever change the way he'd interact with others in the future. if you remember, marius vaguely alludes to an incident in will of the trees.

he mentions it again in the card in the darkness when he and rosa get trapped in a dark cave and he begins to panic, only this time he's a little more detailed about what happened to him in order to explain his anxiety to her.

then, he actually gives the details of what happened in his personal story.

mc remembers the hints marius had dropped to her a couple of times regarding this incident, so she then asks:

i don't believe marius actually blamed himself for his mother until this was said about him. his mother is the root of all things; he thinks that if he was never born, she would have never died, and perhaps she and giann would still be around and would be happy and healthy. he convinces himself that his existence destroyed his family. the stress of his feelings and anxiety makes him extremely sick as a kid.

all of this was too much for a young marius; now, remember when i said that i reject canon? that's important, because i don't think he ever properly recovered from this episode. i fully believe that marius does need and should go to therapy as an adult, and hasn't done so. my headcanon as to why he didn't, and why he gives off the impression that he's fine now and everything is fine now, is because he wised up and realized that he was being a burden on others and his mother's death would be in vain if he did so.

marius, tired of being a strain on the people he loves, pretends to be mentally sound to avoid his father and brother worrying about him. the way he chooses to cope with this is to disassociate himself with these events that happened to him, to the point where he talks about them like it wasn't him personally that experienced it. (i might touch upon this again in a future post if it becomes relevant.) he can't let others know that things bother him, because it can be weaponized; it would make him look weak, and the last thing he wants is anyone worrying about him but himself, or anyone to take advantage of that weakness. consider this as a strategy he adopted from the "conceal, don't feel" philosophy.

that having been said, a personal acceptance to "get over it" to stop feeling like he needs an emotional babysitter in his relatives =/= a lack of resentment towards others for how that was handled. marius nearly died due to the cruelty of a jealous relative, and his family was right in trying to protect him (as burdensome as he feels he may is), and he learns pretty quickly that he cannot trust others.

he still is one of the most influential people alive, and that means there's going to be a slew of people walking in and out of the revolving door leading into his life that are going to want to take advantage of that fact. it also goes beyond just people wanting to manipulate him, but he doesn't enjoy playing along in this circus of social hierarchy, and doesn't enjoy the people hanging around in these spaces. because they're ingenuine, they have no merit to him, and quite simply put he's looking to fill his life with color and sincerity.

i propose that... in order to consider a romantic relationship with someone, despite how much he longs for one, he would need to deeply get to know the person first and it would take a significant time to do so... and i know what you're thinking, it's just like a regular relationship, right? getting to know someone before deciding if you want to be with them? except, to marius, this is extreme; this social sphere he occupies has effectively chewed him up and spat him back out, because he's at the top of the top. his father is the wealthiest man in the world. marius by virtue of being a von hagen is essentially on the same level as royalty, and his family name is not enough to protect him. he has to be sharp, and he needs to be alert and constantly on guard.

he'd have no idea what someone's intentions may be with him when he meets them and he knows better than to blindly trust a person's seemingly apparent good faith, but also... he's so worried about dragging people down that he'd be almost afraid to consider it. it isn't enough that people want to use and abuse him to their hearts' content, but they'd try to tear up anyone else who went in there with him, and marius would be afraid of that outcome. he's already ruined the lives of his mother and his brother in his failure to protect them from the circumstances that removed them from his life. he would be unwilling to cause someone else he cares about to be put in the same situation, and he wouldn't be able to bear it if they also ended up abandoning him.

all of that leads me to say: i believe he would be more scared and avoidant upon realizing he was falling in love with someone, rather than immediately trying to pursue it with all he's got like he would his other endeavors.

the reason? it's so simple to pursue art. art is an arbitrary passion of his that doesn't impede on anyone else but himself, nor is it influenced by any outside forces; marius has full control over it. the same goes for his company; no one is going to sit there and hold his hand with his newfound ceo duties. he's always been capable of pursuing things on his own. romance is different; romance involves putting his young and fragile heart on the line to go after a whole other independent and outside entity not knowing whether or not he's going to face rejection.

eventually, i believe he'll completely learn to get over the hurdle, but in the interest of transparency... i think he's going to need a nudge from the other person first. a sign it's reciprocated, before he has to put his heart on ice.

i think it's on brand for marius to be a tease when you meet him; it is a genuine facet of his personality, but it's also something that feeds well into his reputation. he's assuming that people are going to know exactly who he is when he runs into them on the street, so he doesn't even bother dropping his pretense. but, i do think that extends... he doesn't drop that mask right away, it takes months and months, and lots of patience and understanding in order to unravel the mystery that is marius von hagen. he's going to want to gauge whether or not it's something he wants to commit to, and if it is, he's going to have to be prepared to unpack all that baggage. he would have to believe that this is going to be a happy ending for him, that his fairytale won't be a tragedy, in order to see a path forward. once marius goes into something, he doesn't step out.

so, he won't put up that much of a fight if he starts to fall in love with you, but that doesn't mean he would be eager make that leap of faith without getting a hint that there will be a safety net ready to catch him when he falls.

#marius von hagen #tears of themis #lu jinghe #tot marius #z rambles #i might end up editing this post a dozen times as i think of new things to say

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nobodysdaydreams · 1 year ago

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Well...

...that could have gone better.

(Also it turns out Lovelace IS an alien. 👽 so that's fun, I think?)

(or my reaction to episodes 44-46 of Wolf359)

Welcome back dear readers, sorry for the delay. Procrastinating on finals has been taking up all of my time, thank you for your understanding.

Tagging the mutuals who got me invested in this, and if you want to be tagged or untagged from these posts, lmk, or you can follow my blog or simply follow the tag "#bods wolf359 reactions". Anyone who has followed me for a while knows my updates are inconsistent, so I apologize in advance for that and for any spelling/grammar mistakes in my posts.

@sophieswundergarten @oflightningandstars @acollectionofcuriousreblogs @herawell @commsroom

Episode 44: Desperate Times

Now where were we? Ah yes. Cutter lied about their deaths and has an evil girlfriend who makes his robots. Hilbert and Lovelace told Minkowski about the death thing to get her on board, and once they have her, she should be able to get Doug and Hera on board.

Great point Doug. How many secret rooms can one space station have?

And how many copies of the SI-5? Because we already had two Duck boys. If another Kepler strolls in and starts talking about Whiskey again, that might just be too much for me.

No Minkowski. You don't want to kill anyone. But I understand.

Wow. Doug knows some fancy words. "Commander Eiffel" 😂

Oh, they're actually laughing. I'm sorry Doug. Wow, he just made that up too, very convincing.

Aw, Minkowski. I want to hug her. If she doesn't make it back to her husband...

oh yay, she and Doug are talking it out! Friends! My feelings exactly Hera! 💕💕💕

Hera is so sweet. It's weird to think she was built by and modeled after someone so horrible.

Ah. Taking a late night stroll around the ship Hilbert?

Hilbert. NO. NO NO NO NO NO. NOT THE EVIL CHAIR.

Evil chair will kill you. Evil chair will show them your brain which shows them your plan to rebel against them. Do not trust the evil chair Hilbert. For a smart man, you make some remarkably and unbelievably dumb decisions.

I want to believe in them. I do, I really really do. But unfortunately, I know that there is an entire other season left. So...

It's not looking good. Personally, I think the most expendable is Hilbert. They can kill the character off without having to fire the actor. If anyone's about to die, it's him.

The "terrible trio", I like it Doug. Good nickname for SI-5.

The um...the blunt force trauma face?

Oh my this hypothetical of Maxwell, Kepler, and Jacobi falling apart is music, sweet music.

If only...if only.

They are really counting on the SI-5 acting exactly like this. I hope they get it right. I do love the way they make Whiskey Boy out to be such a cartoon villain. He really is.

Oh they're conflicted about who to target. That's right Hera. Target Duck boy. I mean...they did already kill him once, right?

Although slight problem. Let's say they do kill SI-5. Let's say they try to fly the ship back to earth. Can't Cutter just blow the ship up remotely? He'll probably send a missel after them before they even get into the atmosphere. I mean...what would you even do in this situation? He's literally got them bargaining for every second of their lives. Makes you wonder how many teams he has out there like this...

What happened? No gas? Oh dear. Plan B?

HIT MAXWELL WITH A WRENCH? POP A WEASEL?

I don't like how this is going.

"I'm glad I have you alone" Hilbert stop it.

Opponent is not going to hesitate to kill you. That's true. But you can't forget who the enemies are. Cutter and Pryce. And yes. SOMETHING IS WRONG!

Oh dear. Well this is terribly awkward.

...um...so...Maxwell. Duck Boy. Fancy a mutiny?

Guess not. Oh dear. This is bad. This is very very bad.

IS NOT ABOUT THE CONTACT EVENT! IT'S ABOUT THEM GETTING BACK AND YOU KNOW IT.

I KNEW THAT YOU COULDN'T TRUST HER.

"Don't struggle?"

Not the brain sweeping. Maxwell you have lost all my respect, and likely your own if you still had any left in you.

Shut up Duck Boy, literally no one wants to hear from you.

Well this is a pickle. How will our heroes (and Hilbert) get out of this one? 👀

Episode 45: Desperate Measures

"Wakey-wakey", shut up errand boys.

"Passion for disciplining crew members, isn't that right Jacobi?" You're a sadist waste of space who works for a sadist waste of space, we got that Whiskey Boy.

Oh great. Another super secret room. There's probably thousands of them at this rate. A whole city in the sky.

What a nice little room of weapons. As a lover of dramatic irony, I do hope Dr. Robot and our dear Errand Boys find themselves on the other side of those weapons.

Hera you can delay having to respond to her commands! You can! Remember: You can't do this. You're not good enough. Use it to your advantage.

"I knew it!" you did Doug. And yeah, Hilbert didn't sink so low.

"Kill whoever you like least", well there goes Hilbert.

Good work Hera! 🥰 Oh dear it hurts.

THE VENTS! That's right! Go Minkowski!

Geez does Whiskey Boy ever tire of the sound of his own voice? I guess not.

Shut it Kepler! Yeah Doug! He can go to hell! Tell him off!

Doug: "You're crazy"

Kepler: "No Doug. I'm just a man that wants to be taken seriously. That's why I'm sitting here with a gun in one hand, glass of Whisky in the other, while singing "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe" like a cartoon supervillain. There's nothing more respectable or serious than that."

Lovelace is speaking FACTS. He has lost his humanity. But um...ironically so might have Lovelace. Or all of them still unclear on that.

"You're hilarious" "one more thing I have that you don't" ooohhh... dang, it that ain't the truth. No one will be as funny as Doug, but if anyone comes close it's certainly not Whisky boy.

"Very nice speech captain" Well it was better than the Whisky speech Kepler. Take notes.

That's right Lovelace. Who cares what Kepler see when he looks at you? No one. Because he is a waste of space.

She'll survive because of magic alien plot armor.

Aw, she did it for Doug. That's really sweet.

And...off goes the gun. But no screams. He better not have shot Doug.

"You have 30 minutes to think about what you've done. Then we'll talk about Eiffel."

I know I should be furious over the whole "what you've done" comment, but I gotta ask, how dangerously stupid is Kepler? 30 minutes is plenty of time to put a plan into action. What does Kepler need 30 minutes for? Swirling his Whisky around and telling Doug how much he loves the feel of it in his hands.

Why don't you mind your own business Maxwell? Why don't you shut up and mind your own business and throw yourself in the airlock?

Good stalling Hera...yes! Finally knocked out Dr. Robot. Now, as much as I am against murder, eye for an eye, and all that...in this situation, keeping her alive puts multiple innocents at risk.

Anyone got an eye on Duck Boy?

Kepler doesn't care about Maxwell! He doesn't care about anyone!

Doug...great speech for this to work, he has to care about human life, and he clearly doesn't.

Yeah, I don't really like chess either Doug.

Why do I feel like he's going to hurt Hera in a way that only Maxwell can fix?

Ah there he is. "I wouldn't do that so someone. I just blow people up to kill them! :)" ugh Duck Boy is the worst. I knew that he was off doing something silly. "Crazy Jacobi the loose canon" dude, you're Duck Boy. That's your existence.

And I knew Hilbert would be the one to go. They don't have to fire his voice actor to kill him, which makes him expendable.

Well it took a very long time to get here, but looks like Hilbert is finally gonna kick the bucket. And yeah, you guys have no idea how long they've been trying to kill Hilbert. If it was Doug, I'd be more worried, but between Hilbert and Doug, Doug's got the plot armor.

And...there he goes! Oh wait...did she shoot Maxwell! Oh be quiet Jacobi, it's not like you ever actually cared about her. If Cutter or Kepler ordered you to kill her, you would have done it.

You can't talk sense into him Doug. He's a nutcase. We established that.

I love Doug. "Well it's been a topsy-turvy day!"

And see Kepler? Not so fun playing with lives when yours is on the chopping block, now is it?

Yes Doug! Tell him! Oh poor Whisky Boy, are you gonna cry?

Right three people dead: Lovelace, Hilbert, and Maxwell. That's a lot. My money is on Lovelace coming back due to alien magic, Hilbert dead for good, maybe Maxwell lives on in Hera's memory or flashback land.

YES! I love Doug's loyalty to Minkowski!

Does Kepler have an escape pod? I feel like he would. Oh he's telling his duck boy to stand down. But duck boy doesn't seem too happy about that. I guess he cared a bit more for Maxwell than Kepler, even if he would have shot her if given the order.

"Finally over" hm...I seriously doubt that.

Ah yes the aliens. I wonder what they have to say about all this. And Kepler please shut up. "You want to be in charge of this mess, fine." The mutiny literally just happened on your watch. You spent half the crew budget on expensive Whiskey. You don't care at all that Maxwell is dead.

Episode 46: Bolero

Is that music? Um... what is this? I do wonder why they chose to send music, when they've demonstrated that they can send voices.

Yeah...this is a lot. And they lost their human doctor and robot doctor. As much as I hated them, they were useful. Unlike the errand boys, who only seem to be good a cowering in fear from ducks and giving speeches about whisky.

Oh and apparently they like music too. How nice.

"If the commander wishes for silence, then silence she shall have" and yet you're still talking.

Yeah...what do they do now. They have to warn everyone, expose Cutter and get him to jail, but the aliens are also invading. Oh gosh, are Cutter and Pryce aliens? Is this a plot to replace humanity with aliens? That at least makes more sense than Cutter's a loon who just wants to take a gander at some dangerous aliens, but why do I get the feeling that "Cutter's crazy" is what's actually happening here?

Oh right Kepler's special DNA. But your DNA still works even if it's detached from your body, right? 🧬

"We owe it to Lovelace, Hilbert, and Maxwell..." good work Doug. They were evil, they were flawed, but they were still humans.

Oh Hera. Wow, we don't have funerals for animals???? Yikes... I'm starting to see how she was modeled after Pryce now. In that case, I wonder what happened to Pryce. Also Hera, I get what you're saying, but that's an insult to animals. Many cats and dogs I've met are very loyal, kind, and useful.

oh dear she's talking to Lovelace's ghost/memory. 🥺 It's not your fault Minkowski. It was never your fault. And yeah...you all deserve to make it home.

That is if there is even a home to come back to...

Doug, Hera, come on. You're best friends. Wow. And yeah, she and Maxwell were friends, that's why she's so upset! Oh right...if one human friend betrayed her...oh Hera...Doug's not like her you know that! Maxwell would sell you out, Jacobi would sell her out, and Kepler would sell him out, but Doug? Doug would never sell anyone out.

"I know what it's like to not get a chance to say goodbye. And I don't think you're past the point of not caring. Not yet." That's sweet Doug. But you're giving him a bit too much credit. Oh he's mad he killed her? Fair enough, but Jacobi...you said yourself you were monsters! Do you really want to try to claim the moral high ground here? That's right Doug! Tell him! "You're gonna like it...I mean you're gonna feel sad!" Yeah! That's right! Shove the compassion down his throat Doug. Sometimes that's the way you gotta do it.

Minkowski is gonna have some pretty severe PTSD after this. I want to hug her.

Oh no, Hera's remembering Maxwell. "Was everything you did for me part of a secret evil plan?" it's not that simple Hera. Bad people can do good things. Good people can do bad things. Cognitive dissonance Hera, that's how it's possible. Compartmentalization. Circular and deluded thinking. And fake Maxwell is right. It's about you Hera. It's not about her. Forget about Maxwell. Forget about Pryce. You're better than them, and more human too.

Yes Hera, get the feelings out. No, Doug she's coming around!

Oh no...no no no...Doug is wasted isn't he? Kepler's private supply no doubt...oh no... oh Doug.

"I killed them Hera." no you didn't Doug! Intentions matter! You are the ship's moral compass. Don't drink yourself off.

"I'm a drunken mess whether I have a drink or not." oh Doug. Doug.

Please don't give yourself alcohol poison. Oh good self-talk from Hilbert. Yeah Doug never wanted anyone to die.

"How else did you think this was going to end?"

Aw, Doug has so much hope. Never lose that Doug. Never lose it. And yeah, it's nice to believe in redemption. It is theoretically possible. Though in certain cases, highly unlikely. I won't name names.

So...it's just Doug and Jacobi at the funeral? Well. This is incredibly awkward...

Oh right, Hera's never been to a funeral...

Oh nvm Kepler's here for the food. He's so gross.

They gave Hera grief but no way to deal with it? Oh she can't understand why they are gone? The "I wonder if I'll miss you when you go away forever too" is hitting different.

Minkowski came through!

Wow, Jacobi actually is able to say a few nice words.

Dr. Hilbert was a monster 😂. Fair. Completely fair. See ya later Doc. I think Hilbert would have liked it.

Oh don't let Kepler talk. He'd ruin the funeral. Though to be fair, he'd ruin anything.

Never mind looks like the aliens beat him to the punch.

Looks like the aliens decided to come early.

Uh...HERA?

KEEPING WHAT OUT?

Tell me the aliens aren't already here.

Is Lovelace coming back? Oh Kepler knew this was going to happen.

"It can't hear you." DO NOT CALL HER AN IT KEPLER. Alien or not, she's a...well she's a someone.

So she IS an alien? An alien who acts like her? Okay... and yes please, let's start at the beginning. It's about time Kepler. If you're going to talk, you might as well say something useful.

Now I've procrastinated enough but...wow this doesn't look good. Hopefully the crew can get back safely.

#bods wolf359 reactions #wolf359 #renee minkowski #isabel lovelace #doug eiffel #alexander hilbert #hera wolf 359 #wolf 359 #w359 #hera w359 #daniel jacobi #warren kepler #wolf 359 spoilers #alana maxwell

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tryingtimi · 5 months ago

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Author Questionnaire Tag Game

Thank you for the tag @tc-doherty, this is going to be fun <3 Apologies in advance because I tend to ramble about random stuff besides the answer when I get personal questions, so it might get long.

About Me

When did you start writing?

If we count the bad horror story we created with my cousin then since I was 6 years old, lol. On and off mostly, though I dreamed about being a writer when I was around 8 or 10, so around 2005. After that I kind of strayed to painting and drawing more, but got back to writing at the age of 16. Then a little gap again, and around 19 I took up writing again and never stopped since (just turned 27 this may, so a while now).

Are there genres/themes you enjoy reading different to the ones you write?

Literary fiction for sure. I wasn't the person who started reading very early, though my family is full of bookworms and always thought me weird when I said I don't like reading. Then, I found the perfect book (The Man With The Golden Touch, a hungarian classic we needed to read for school), read it in one sitting almost, and fell in love eventually. My teenage years books were satires and serious family dramas alongside the heaviest stuff that connected to real life and you could find it on the market. I just realised recently (when I finished a litfic book in two days again, after not reading any for years) that litfic is probably my go to, or palette cleanser if you will. But I wouldn't be able to write in it for the life of me. Otherwise I'm an omnivore genre-wise, reading what gives me inspo for current projects plus trying out every genre I haven't read yet.

Is there an author you want to emulate, or one to whom you're often compared?

Usually I would get compared to an author who's work I'm currently reading, because I'm too naturally absorbing style when I'm invested. Not always, but frequently enough. Once a friend said my writing is a bit Brandon Sanderson-like and that made me happy because he's one of my favourite authors and writing icons. (another gigantic praise would be telling me it reminds them of Fonda Lee’s writing hehe)

Can you tell me a little about your writing space?

It's literally anywhere, lol. I live in a very small space (two half rooms), so I have a small desk and an armchair (yes, not an office chair or anything, no it's not comfortable even though you'd think so) where I sometimes write. If I can steal my partner's gaming chair, I use that space, but most times I write on the bed, lying on my stomach and putting something under my chin to keep my head higher lmfao. Also going to cafés if I really can't focus at home or using our foldable bed when it's in sofa shape. Our space is always insanely dusty because of it’s size, so that annoys the hell out of me and makes me incapable of focusing on writing so I can't start working on anything at the desk before I cleaned it thoroughly.

What's your most effective way to muster up some muse?

Going through my pinterest boards. I have separate boards for could-be characters, weapons, items, places etc. But it's really rare that I need to find a muse or inspiration. If I can't write it's mostly because of burn out or irl stuff that take up my emotional and creative energy, not the lack of ideas, haha. That, I have way too many.

Did the place(s) you grew up in influence the people and places you write about?

Yes, definitely. Even when I thought they didn't, I needed to realise they do, very much so. Since then, I try to do it consiously enough. I love realising stuff about real life people or our dynamics and whatnot throughout my writing. Plus learning about places, workings of our world help me build up mine coherently. And I’m a sucker for family dynamics so I put a lot of “Easter eggs” in it that was inspired by my family/ childhood.

Are there any recurring themes of your writing, and if so, do they surprise you at all?

Giving dead parents to the protagonists count as a theme? Because that is what I noticed once, and suprised me for sure. Since then, they get parents but then the whole story is more like a family drama than anything else. Plus emotionally distant/unavailable parents (especially mothers), finding your place in the world and found family are definitely topics that will appear in all my stories.

My Characters

Would you please tell me about your current favourite character?

Given that I'm neck deep in Project Sasin, my east asian-inspired urban fantasy mafia story, I could go with all of the main family members. They're all favourites, but if I really need to choose one, then it would be always Grey Fang, who is the head warrior woman of the clan, and the clan leader's right hand. She's a gigantic woman, a true amazon, bestest fighter of the clan, and great at managing the lower ranked warriors. She's blunt, confident, charistmatic and always have a harsh but helpful advice for the main kids. Most of the clan look up at her (not only because she's 190 cm), admire her skill and recite her achivements, and even the enemy clans whisper her name a bit warily. For the main kids though, she's also a fun aunt. As much as she is serious, and can be outright dangerous, she is easy to deal with if you're not acting too shy around her (she believes being shy is always either poor parenting, or a straight up act to gain something, therefore not honest and trustworthy), or breaking any tradition openly. As the clan, she is very fond of traditions and the way of life their ansestors have lived for hundreds of years, but she can be convinced that development is necessary, if someone is determined enough or a master at persuasion. Her first and foremost goal in life is to preserve the clan's good reputation, and prevent corruption or downfall – at all costs. Therefore she would break traditions, or go behind anyone's back if that would achieve it.

Which of your characters do you think you'd be friends with in real life?

Not many lol. Most characters I write are fun to work with and explore but mostly because I wouldn't even go near them irl. I think I would be on friends term with Kil, the main borther who wants to be like Fang, and maybe Yune who's a fairly anxious and talented healer with little confidence yet. Plus, Fang herself, obviously. But both Kil and Fang are extroverted like hell so they would adopt my introverted ass, which I don't kow if counts. I have other works where are some characters I could be truly friends with (Avelyn from Metalsea for example but she's a similar category like Yune). I could probabyl go to those lengths only with my fellow introverted characters whom are the MC's usually, but not the majority of the characters lol.

Which of your characters would you dislike most if you met them?

Every living mother, uh. It sounds horrible, but it's true. All the mothers who were likeable or fair at being mothers are dead in my stories. Plus most of the men too, maybe. I have a sci-fi story where the MC (Dane) is a scientist with a very ambitious but definitely arrogant and sharp tongue, whom I would probably hate if I met him. (Though it takes a lot for me to truly dislike or hate someone.)

Tell me more about the process of coming up with your characters.

I usually come up with one key visual trait for them lol. I kind of go backwards, because I first figure out how they look, and vaguely know why they look like that, then create their personality, their story, the world. My mind craves visualisation, therefore I revolve my characters' personalites around visible marks of their experiences.

Do you notice any recurring themes/traits among your characters?

What would be a recurring theme is that they’re emotionally closed up most of the time. There’s also hidden but constant anger inside them. Not many likes to talk about themselves and if something is too personal they just shut down and either go away, or stay silent until the conversation strays to somewhere else. There are also the very open, very easy but dangerous and madly loyal person too who is there for these previously mentioned ones. I also tend to give a dynamic to love intrests that is the "silent understanding" type. They just know each other enough, I guess.

How do you picture your characters?

Fairly clearly. I need visuals to keep working on my stories, so that's why I have so many stuff on my pinterest. Also sometimes I try to draw them, paint them, but I don't have the skill YET to completely bring them to life. But I will one day.

My Writing

What's your reason for writing?

I just love it. I can't picture myself not writing, and I also recently realised that how all my mental health and overall life improved since I accepted that this is what I need to and will always do.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating coming from your readers?

Look, I'm already owing you my life if you've read anything I've written. I'm very grateful and happy from that simple thing. Though, keysmashes and caps shouts are one of the bests, and if someone throws a little analysis or theory of why the character does, says what they did my way, then I'll propose them on the spot. That's a rare one, but a treasure for me for sure.

How do you want to be thought of by those who read your work?

I don't want to, lol. Please don't keep me on the same page as my work, because as much as my heart is in it, it's still my work, my baby, but not my life or personality. It has it's own value without me, and it should be.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Creating atmosphere and showing emotions. Since my ideas are very vague and mostly feelings during my process, I think these also intangible concepts I can thrive in. I can't tell you a city's political standing but I can tell you how it smells, tastes, sounds, how your dreams will change if you move there, how people swear and look at you, and how it feels to have a bad and a good day there.

What have you been frequently told by others is your greatest strength as a writer?

I got more than a few times now that I write fight scenes well, haha. They said it's exciting and well paced. I'm glad because I love them (big martial arts enthusiast here), but also friends said that I can create atmosphere well too. What stayed with me was when they said that they felt like they were at that place I wrote about.

How do you feel about your own writing?

Depending on the day. I'm my bigget critique too, as I imagine all of us, so when my mood is a bit low, I feel that it's gods awful. Sometimes it is, and that's okay. But most of the time (especially recently) I really like the results. I write what I want to read, after all.

If you were the last person on earth and knew your writing would never be read by another human, would you still write?

Without question. As I mentioned before, it's just something I'm not able to abandon. Probably because I'm bad at articulating my feelings and thoughts so writing is just essential for me to communicate, even if only with myself. Personally, though, without anyone reading it, it would be so much easier to be honest, lol.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely what you enjoy? if it’s a mix of the two, which holds the most influence?

Tricky question for a recovering-people-pleaser. Recovering because I grew a lot the last two years thanks to some bad but valuable experiences, so I was way worse earlier in my life. I got back to writing by writing fanfiction for a friend because she ran out of the stuff she liked, so I offered to create stories tailored especially for her taste. And as more people started reading my stories (because of course I shared them after a while), I tried to appease for the most enthusiastic readers to show my immense gratitude. External validation is a dangerous thing for me, so yes, if someone seems to enjoy my work very much, I will unintentionally go directions that they seem to enjoy. However, readers are readers, they are not entitled to finish a story or like it, so they disappear at some point (which is fine), so when there was no one left reading my stuff, I learnt to continue for myself instead. That's why I'm less and less online, or sharing specifics about my writing, because I want to write purely what I enjoy. Be a tiny bit more private with it. So now, I'd say I do that, but external validation is a bitch that will hold on to you with tooth and nail, so I will probably still go directions people enjoy if I get any input. But I'll manage it better, because now I can catch myself before I form a fully different story just for others.

Tagging @bloodlessheirbyjacques, @the-void-writes, @aninkwellofnectar, @dyrewrites, @aalinaaaaaa, @forthesanityofstorytellers, @bebewrites, @barbex, @circa-specturgia, @odysseywritings, @italiangothicwriteblr,

No pressure, though I love these questionnaires so would love to see anyone's and everyone's.

#timisramble #on my writing #author questionnaire #tag game #it indeed turned out to be damn long

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