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It’s not me.

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such a good boy~ were going to have a great time together❤️

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welcome to my farm where I keep my dark horse my black sheep my scapegoat and my underdog. my canary in the coal mine died ages ago

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so there’s this insane rage and anger

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"bro who got you smiling like that?"

i just read the most wonderfully disgusting whump prompt

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Days go by.

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Illustration of Marcille from the last year zine. C:

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I don’t even have anything to say for myself with this one ٩(｡•ω•｡)و

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Custom engraved silver necklace by Silberwerk, commissioned by me- words from Belovéd by Yves Olade

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The Cave Man | Okada Takuya

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"yeah my weekend was crazy"

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Suehiro Maruo’s depiction of Saint Sebastian

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i am always enamoured with caretakers helping whumpee in the bath/shower but it's so especially visceral and compelling in the context of whump with sexual violence. there's the obvious connection with nakedness and being exposed, the vulnerability and fear and potential for triggers there, but there's also the added shame and humiliation of it.

caretaker possibly helping to clean bodily fluids off of whumpee's skin, their own or their attacker's. whumpee being so ashamed and hating themself so much for the fact that their friend has seen them like this, has touched them when they were so filthy. how could they ever look whumpee in the eye again, or see them as anything but ruined, disgusting, pathetic? and the injuries that are bared to the light, that caretaker is gently cleansing with water. they're distinctive, tell-tale.

and there's why whumpee is being helped. maybe it's that the pain and trauma is so severe they just literally need it, if they want to clean up at all they need to accept help. the terror and vulnerability of that. but also maybe it is something whumpee chose. maybe the assault wasn't overtly violent, or they're not in so much pain they couldn't move well enough on their own. maybe they chose this, because they needed so, so badly for anything to make it a little bit easier. maybe something in their heart that was brutalized along with their body is screaming for some kind of soothing, some kind of safe care from someone they trust.

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the horror in prolonged stillness. whumper touching whumpee, putting a hand on their body somewhere that terrifies them, and just going still. holding it there. longer and longer as whumpee gets more and more afraid and upset. taking some kind of action, forcing whumpee into some position or taking some kind of escalatory step in a torture or assault and going still, forcing whumpee to endure this specific moment of pain or violation for what feels like endless drawn out moments. crowding close and forcing eye contact, so close they can feel each other breathing.

its awful when the torment is fast and relentless but its just as brutally unending this way, too.