#apologizing doesn’t absolve you of everything

[borderlinereminders]

"I know I hurt you but I told you I'm sorry! I can't handle you being upset with me. I'm a terrible person who doesn't deserve your forgiveness but I don't know what I'm going to do if you don't forgive me!"

^

Whether it's intentional or not, this is manipulative. And it's not okay.

It's okay to express feeling badly, but that should be portrayed more like "I feel really bad that I hurt you because you don't deserve that. I am really sorry, and I am here to talk about this when you're ready to discuss this further."

If someone is doing the first example, please know that it's 100% okay to just walk away to deal with your own emotions. You don't owe them anything. Their emotions about you being upset are their own responsibility and it’s okay for you to take the space you need.

And if you’re someone that is unintentionally doing the first example, please know that you aren’t irredeemable or terrible. And you can still learn to do better.

[galaxymagitech]

Bruce is capable of apologizing!

I was disappointed when in Batman #147 he basically blamed his actions entirely on Zur to Tim and didn’t seem to take responsibility for them, but…In Batman #148, he actually said the words “I’m so sorry” and took responsibility for the messed-up, abusive stuff he did when influenced by Zur. He acknowledges that a part of him did it, that “I hurt you.”

Whats most striking to me is that at first, Tim (I love Tim, but he’s consistently far too willing to absolve Bruce) starts to defend Bruce to Jason, saying “None of this is Bruce’s fault.” Bruce could just let Tim defend him, and Jason, who asked Tim for info, probably would have gone along with it. But instead, Bruce interrupts Tim and apologizes, taking responsibility.

He also understands that it doesn’t fix everything, because he doesn’t just drop all guilt after apologizing. Which is a huge improvement.

This is better. So much better. It’s the Bruce I want to see, and since Zur has been growing in power for a while, this is DC’s opportunity to make Bruce a decent parent again, while still acknowledging that his past actions were wrong. I hope they take it.

[queermediaanysis]

Bottle It Up: the most tangible theme in OFMD s2

So looking at s2 through the (super fucked up) lens that Jim asking Frenchie “How are you handling all of this so well?” And Frenchie responding by saying he puts all the terrible things in a box in his mind and never opens it again was the lesson everyone was supposed to learn this season and like, that’s there in the text more than anything else and I hate that.

Frenchie is handling everything well because he’s putting it in the box and never addressing it again.

Izzy finally says he has love for Ed, everyone is worried about him, the atmosphere is toxic and suggests talking it through and Ed goes on deck and points a gun at everyone as he asks them to talk about it, and when Izzy finally does address the reality of things and speaks Stede’s name aloud he gets shot in the leg.

Lucius isn’t talking about what happened. Avoidant about the Rat Boy name at first, says he fell off the ship, can’t remember when he picked up smoking.

Stede asks Lucius to talk to him about what happened after he was pushed off the ship, and Lucius starts to and almost immediately Stede runs away saying to save the rest for Pete.

Lucius says he talks to Pete and Stede says “please tell me you held back on some of the darker stuff” and Lucius confirms he did because Pete got nauseous and started crying.

Lucius tells Stede he should look past the man he loves and examine all the awful things he did, but Stede brushes it off and doesn’t do that.

No one will tell Stede they killed Ed. (Arguably this is for their own safety as well but it fits the whole “we’re not talking about the hard stuff” theme so I’m including it)

Ed finds out Stede went home to Mary through Anne Bonny. Stede begins to try to explain but instead, Ed smashes his chair against the wall and walks off. They have a very brief conversation without mention that Stede was kidnapped by Chauncey then watched him die.

Ed gives his influencer non-apology that was clearly written by Stede to the crew, and everyone but Lucius and Izzy seem to have forgiven him. During the “apology” Jim talks about how it made them feel and Stede shushes them so Ed can keep not apologizing. Afterward, for some reason, Jim says immediately says “I thought it was pretty solid for him” Archie says that’s how it goes in situations like this, Roach has never heard an apology before so they’re all good apparently now.

Lucius pushes Ed off the ship but isn’t okay yet. We’re addressing the trauma here and trying to make it right (even if it’s in a messed up way); we’re finally talking about it directly, but Lucius isn’t okay after this.

Fang tells Ed he’s not mad at him because he got it all out of his system when they beat him to death.

The whole Lucius/Izzy exchange “A shark did this to me. Dangling my legs over the side of the ship, served me right too.” “Okay, that seems healthy. Using a bit of fiction to cover up your trauma.” “Not moving on is worse.” (Another point at which Lucius wants to resolve trauma and he’s told no, don’t talk about it)

Lucius is clearly coping poorly and tries again to talk to Pete about how he almost died and Pete says he should find him when he’s no longer thinking about his trauma (“find me when Blackbeard isn’t living rent free in your head”) and that Lucius should talk about how he lived instead. Lucius then seems to decide that he’s fine, proposes to Pete, and is seemingly okay after that. (5th point in the story when Lucius tries to talk about something to heal and is told no in some way, and here is when he finally seems to moves on and is played as “better” after this)

Izzy’s drinking a lot even after he’s not totally dysfunctional like at the end of ep4.

The only Ed apology to Izzy is “Sorry about your leg.” With no eye contact as he’s walking away. To which Izzy responds “Fuck off.” After Ed’s out of ear shot.

Stede suggests Ed can absolve himself of everything by “turning the poison into positivity” and selling his treasure he got during the time he was abusing the crew to buy party supplies. Stede later says at the party that yes, Ed has achieved turning the poison into positivity, though Ed has done nothing by throw money at the problem.

Stede ignores Ed’s warning about not being able to come back from killing in cold blood and kills Ned Low.

Stede is visibly upset and Ed goes to check on him and begins to start talking, but Stede wordlessly grabs him and slams him up against a wall and then they have sex (which Ed has requested to wait on) instead of talking about it.

Ed decides he’s leaving to become a fisherman because Stede is infamous now and Ed’s been wanting out of that life so there’s a brief disagreement where not much is said and then he leaves.

“I’m sorry I was such a dick.” Is the biggest apology we’ve gotten all season. It’s immediately dismissed as “you’re not a dick. Life’s a dick.”

No one in the crew seems to be mourning Izzy’s death and we as the audience seem expected to move on from it very fast. Avenging his death is proposed by Zheng but then it cuts to nope, we’re done with that and we’re inn keepers now instead. Put the terrible thing you’ve seen in the box and never open it again.

I’m definitely sure I forgot some of these and it felt at first that these were being set up to be played negatively because this is the don’t-bottle-it-up/healing-from-our-traumas show but that just doesn’t play out. Like so much of it’s either dismissed without reason, played as a joke, or framed as acceptable and the fact that I could pull so much more of this stuff out of the text than I could any other potential thematic element does has me just so baffled. I don’t know what to do with it.

[makieos]

on sand in that fight scene

and ramblings about why ray is such a great character

i genuinely feel like we have to be watching different shows and it’s starting to slightly bother me. these are just some thoughts on what ive seen said about sand (and ray) in light of the recent episode, specifically the fight scene.

let me start with the following: sand hasn’t ever thought his love was gonna heal ray. i honest to god don’t see how you could ever reach that conclusion. one of the main things about episode 10 is that he’s pushing him to get professional help - he’s under no impression that he could ‘fix’ ray by himself.

‘he made everything about himself during the fight scene’ doesn’t sit right with me at all. saying that he cares about ray is not making everything about himself. it’s just the truth. you’d EXPECT a person to say this when someone’s berating them for not caring, especially if it’s someone they love. saying ‘you think i have no dignity’ isn’t making everything about himself, it’s a reply to ray accusing him of only caring about money. you’d EXPECT a person to be hurt at that kind of comment - to voice it - especially a person like sand, who’s made his stance on money when it comes to his personal relationships clear.

i’ve said this before, but during the fight scene, the worst thing sand did is not explain clearly - saying he was hired but not explaining the context. surprisingly, just like you can see the reasoning behind ray’s actions, empathize with them, you actually CAN see the reasoning behind sand’s too! might be shocking but he’s actually not an asshole just for fun!

i understand being annoyed at sand for not talking. i even understand thinking that maybe there’s something he has to apologize for. but claiming that in his self-centeredness he - and the show - are always making out ray to be the asshole who needs to apologize is almost uncomfortable for me. not only because sand is just… not self absorbed, but also because - and i know some people might not want to hear this - ray HAS been an asshole, and he SHOULD apologize. not just for last episode.

ray’s reaction to finding out sand had ‘duped’ him is so honest that it’s almost devastating in its rawness, in its intensity. his feelings are valid and expected, but your feelings of pain being valid and expected doesn’t ABSOLVE you of being hurtful towards someone else. if you’re an asshole while at an emotional high, you’re not excused for it. you’re not blameless. the right thing to do is apologize.

saying ray’s feelings are being dismissed by the narrative is borderline outrageous to me. in the last scene, his feelings ARE acknowledged, they’re spelled out for the viewer - ‘i was so angry because I care for you’. in the last scene, the viewer is MADE to empathize with ray, to understand him in case they hadn’t just yet. they’re also made to understand that he HAS ultimately made mistakes and most importantly - that he’s sorry for them. that he wants to apologize.

this approach to ray of ‘he’s always made out to be the asshole’ ‘his mistakes are a result of someone else’s goading’ is so reductionist and it bothers me because I feel like it’s a genuine disservice to his character. ray is such compelling character BECAUSE he’s not perfect, not DESPITE it. because he messes up, and he feels things that are painful and reacts to them. because he’s human. his faults are a part of his journey - a part of his recovery. we don’t need to erase them to love him.

[tanjir0se]

Literally never thought I’d be saying this and it absolutely does not make up for the rest of the. Everything. But somehow against all odds MHA has contained the ONLY bad dad redemption arc that has hit the mark for me.

Doesn’t happen in one episode, not expected to sympathize immediately with said bad dad

Also doesn’t pull the ‘being nice in your last five minutes of life absolves you from all sins’ bullshit that drives me crazy

Bad dad receives consequences

The true answer for how to atone for past behavior is apologizing and then fucking off

Bad dad is adequately beat to shit both physically and emotionally 👍🏻

Those who don’t forgive him right away or at all are not portrayed as petty or childish, it’s presented as a viable option

I’m glad I gave it a chance despite being initially suspicious. Endeavor redemption arc now and always amen. How MHA managed to pull that off is entirely beyond me

[anxiousotters]

5 things I like to write about

All my love to @cookiemonsterv3 for the tag!!

1. Redemption - I really like looking at villains or just antagonistic characters and asking “Why did you do it?” and “If things were different, would you have made different choices?”. Obviously I don’t think bad decisions should be excused, but far too often I see villains/ antagonists either A) sacrifice themselves to absolve them of the consequences of their actions or B) apologize for their actions but never do anything further. I love writing villains/ antagonists who make the choice to apologize, take accountability for their actions and own them, and try to reconcile and do better for their communities. I like when characters choose to do the hard work of acknowledging their faults and becoming better people, proving it’s possible to come back (can you tell I really want Pride and Prejudice from Mr. Darcy’s POV?)

2. Religion/ Culture - I love exploring religion or religion-equivalents, how they function, and how characters interact with their religion, or religious around them that they’re not members of. In a similar vein, I love writing about culture and when a fictional culture isn’t completely fleshed out or has room for additions, I love adding little bits of my own culture to it (eg. detailing mandalorian formal tunics with Celtic embroidery). I also love writing cultural clashes, like what happens when two opposing cultures are forced to share space with each other. I just like it when characters learn that the other culture is full of different (but still important) things, and both sides learn to appreciate the other

3. Banter - who doesn’t love a good bit of banter? Honestly I don’t think writing banter is my strongest suit, but I love it anyways, especially sibling banter. As one of four kids with an additional gaggle of 30+ cousins, I really write how I think me and my siblings/ cousins would interact (or have interacted in the past) when I write banter. It always makes me giggle, and I love giving my characters siblings/ friends who are as close as siblings for this reason. I also love the tension and excitement that comes with writing romantic banter, especially if the characters aren’t together yet. Delicious stuff

4. Forged Family - you’ve seen found family, this is the same dish but with a hint of forced proximity and trauma. I like writing about found family where the family bonds form because the characters have suffered so much together and still choose to protect and love each other like family. The sentiment is very “I’m stuck with you, but I’d also choose to love you in every lifetime”

5. Rivals to Lovers - in same vein as banter, but different. I like a good conflict, I like the tension, I like the slow build/ melting of ice that comes with rivals to lovers. Specifically I like it best when the conflict comes from external/ cultural reasons and not miscommunication. I just think it’s juicer when the rivals actually have to learn to get along because they’re different in ways that cause friction, rather than they’re not having an important conversation that could solve everything. Almost all of my favourite ships are rivals to lovers, and I like to put the ones that aren’t into situations where they are (oops)

No pressure tags: @thenookspace, @firefly-fez, @maraliga, @ferretrade and anyone else who wants to play!!

[psychic-refugee]

“I’d rather support a potential liar than a potential rapist.”

My question is, why does your support include being an asshole?

@hibernatingwithgrizzlies has a great post on this and I’d like to add to why it’s a logical fallacy and problematic.

People who say this or variations thereof, are, in legal terms, insufferable twats.

It goes the same for anyone who posted “I’m not writing/creating content for Xavier anymore because PHW…it ‘goes against my morals.’”

I can’t imagine having to deal with these pontificating asshats in real life.

I do understand pausing creating content because you feel some sort of way, it’s adding “morals” to it and making sure EVERYONE KNOWS that you have “morals” is what gets me.

The logical fallacy is the presumption that regardless of the evidence or outcome, your personal bias and horrible behavior were always justified.

They’re justifying and trying to make being gullible and jumping to conclusions a virtue.

“I’m absolved from critical thinking or apologizing for my vile behavior because I was pretending and grandstanding about supporting women and feminism. That makes everything ok.”

Last I checked, being pathologically gullible is not a tenet of feminism.

When it’s spelled out like that, it sounds batshit insane, right? It is insane.

This line of thinking is problematic because you’re basically saying you’re biased and proud. It doesn’t matter what actually happened, you’re not going to give the accused a chance to defend themselves because you’ve already decided they were guilty. Not only that they were guilty, but it’s your moral obligation to be as vile and obnoxious about condemning them as possible.

If it turns out you were wrong, then you don’t have to admit that because you were on the “right” side of the argument.

I just have to hope these 15-year-olds grow out of this immature and brainless mindset before they’re old enough to be on a jury.

[leounderthemoon]

Follow-up

This is in answer to some anons I got and some of the comments.

I do not blame Jared. I don’t think he did anything wrong. 

I do not “absolve” Jensen. I don’t think he did anything wrong either.

I believe Jared was upset. He wanted to be a part of the prequel. He was upset that Robbie changed the premise to not include Sam. He was probably upset that Jensen decided to go ahead with it after the leak, instead of waiting until Jared could be a part of it. He may have understood why the timing had to shift, but that doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t be upset. 

As far as apologizing, if Jared said they talked it out, and everything is ok, then yes, I am “assuming” Jensen apologized, because I believe Jared. 

The following paragraph from my last post mentions how they all had to make up a story, (meaning lying) about the hows and whys. The bold parts are the “make up a story.”

“Once this narrative that Jared was not ever involved and would not appear in it was latched on to, all of them had to run with it. Jensen apologized for not telling Jared. He said he was superstitious. He wanted to tell Jared, but he didn’t have his phone. That he was on set. That Jared couldn’t participate because he was busy. Etc. etc.”

For those of you saying “Well Kripke was there on set with a phone!”  Does anyone really know if Kripke was on set or if he was LA? I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter.

Full disclosure, I don’t know how Hollywood, or network TV, or anything works.  I’m not in that field. If you are, great. But, I do know that everything depends on the pertinent contract. Jared’s contract with CBS may (or may not) allow cameos on any other show, on any network. His contract may (or may not) allow him to be involved in the development of another show on any network. I don’t know.

About the re-watch show with Daneel, wasn't that just something to pass the time during lock down? It was also before they officially formed Chaos Machine? Also, which Zoom call, and when?

As for “implying” an “assuming,” aren’t all of us doing that? Unless someone has spoken with Jared and/or Jensen, and they have actually said something, no one knows anything.  My theory is full of just as many holes as anyone else’s.

[forcebookish]

I saw someone say that “Boston has done nothing wrong!”

And I’m like. He sexually harassed/assaulted Top MULTIPLE times??? It could not be more black and white. Top said. I do not want to have sex with you. I am not interested. LIKE YOU CANT GET CLEARER THAN THAT.

But Boston continued. Even though he KNEW Top was dating someone else and not interested in him. Which ended in him coercing Top, under false pretenses, to have sex with him. Boston knew he was lying about Ray and Mew sleeping together. There’s no way he didn’t know Mew has never been into Ray.

Oh does it not count because you don’t find Top likable? Sorry. I wasn’t aware that assault doesn’t count if the person isn’t nice enough.

And that’s not even getting into how he knowingly played with Nick’s feelings and led him on even though he had no intention of seriously dating him. Like that is text in the show. Boston says. Maybe in the future we’ll date. Even though, at that point he doesn’t intend to date Nick. He just likes hooking up with him.

Like. None of this makes the terrible things that have happened to Boston okay. But like. Those terrible things also don’t excuse what he has done. Like. It’s unacceptable that he was recorded without his consent while having sex. And then it was shown to so many people. That’s horrific. And that is a crime. But it doesn’t mean that anything he’s done before or after is absolved.

Like it absolutely enrages me that even if you think the car sex was completely consensual. Boston still groped and harassed Top multiple times. Like. That is sexual assault. That is sexual harassment.

Boston is certainly and interesting character. And Neo is really showing his range as an actor in making me sometimes feel sorry for a character who has done horrible things. Like he’s shown that Boston has many layers.

But he still hasn’t even had to apologize for what he did to Top. And the fact that I see people act like Boston is somehow completely innocent in all this makes my blood boil. I’m sorry for ranting but my god.

don't apologize, you're completely right, anon! the other day i got in an argument with someone who kept bringing up stuff that they just... disliked about top? and when i told them that was all irrelevant, that all that matters is that boston was told to stop and didn't, they called me a jerk!!! it's fucking unreal the lengths this fandom will go to justify sexual assault.

this is kind of the thing with this fandom, they don't really understand what it means to be "morally gray" or even morality in general. they think that what is "immoral" about boston is his promiscuity (something that, if you don't subscribe to an abrahamic religion/puritanical society, is in fact morally neutral - if we go by the "sex is immoral" doctrine taught in those contexts then gay sex is never moral - which, you know, based on how homophobic BL fandom can be, AND PARTICULARLY THIS FANDOM I SEE YOU TIKTOKERS ACCUSING TOPCHEUM OF FUCKING I SEE YOU, it wouldn't surprise me if that's a part of it), when it's the ASSAULT, it's the NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER.

boston is a bad person, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have, like you said, layers. not everything about someone has to be bad for them to be a bad person - and you can still feel sorry for them when undeserved shit happens to them. but this fandom can't seem to wrap their heads around that. for some reason, despite this show being "messy," when someone actually messes up they're evil and when someone does something deliberately hurtful to another human being it's either ERASED FROM THEIR MEMORIES or justified in a way that makes them completely blameless or even something good (and not story-good like how i feel about sand LOSING HIS SHIT and destroying his phone to steal the audio and fuck with ray's head/ruin top's life; i mean, people thinking that ray exposed top AT MEW'S BIRTHDAY PARTY out of the goodness of his heart lmao).

it's sooooooo frustrating, anon >:(

[lilbittymonster]

WIP Wednesday Whenever

Tagged by @crystallineconflict tysm 💜

Tagging @crackinglamb and whoever else has a WIP they want to gush about.

Not so much of a WIP but more of a deleted scene from the Ishgard role quest fic, just to keep the POV the same. Content warning judicious use of cutscene dialogue lmao

Aymeric was hunched over the stone railing, looking pensively out over the rest of the city below him. Kitali dragged her tail purposefully against one of the shrubs so as to not startle him, and he turned slightly to look over at her as she approached.

“Artoirel sent me to fetch you,” she said quietly, coming to lean up against him.

“Is it time already?” he asked with a small sigh. “My apologies for making you come and fetch me.”

“Everything alright?”

Wordlessly he entwined their fingers, squeezing tightly.

“I have been thinking,” he said after a pause. “On the path that I have chosen to walk, and on those who have been left behind as a consequence of my actions. Those who died fighting, those burdened with boundless grief, those deprived of position and purpose. Like any nation, Ishgard is made up of disparate souls with disparate beliefs. Without an enemy to unite us, we recall the differences once set aside out of necessity, and find amongst our old friends new ideological foes. The future I had envisioned…..’Tis far more difficult to secure than I ever imagined. What must I do for our people to live in harmony? For our nation to move forward as one?”

“Well, the first step is to stop saying ‘I’ and start saying ‘we’,” Kitali said. “You aren’t the only person who’s trying to make it work.”

“…I know,” he said sheepishly. “I still cannot help but feel responsible for the chain of events which led us down this path to begin with.”

“You aren’t the one who started it. And if it wasn’t you, then it would’ve been someone else down the line, and we’d be in the same position.”

He squeezed her hand again, straightening from the railing.

“We should be making our way to the council. Shall we continue as we walk?”

Kitali pivoted to remain on his right, hands still clasped.

“You knew this wasn’t going to be easy,” she reminded him gently. “You knew there would be sacrifices.”

“That doesn’t make them any easier.”

He slowed as they mounted the final step and the Fortemps Manor came into view. Kitali found her grip resisted as she marched onwards, not looking at the guard stationed outside. Aymeric caught up to her, running his thumb across hers.

“I know it’s a touchy subject for you, but it feels like another age when the three of you first arrived,” he said. “And it may well be, in fact. I’m sure historians will look back on the arrival of the Warrior of Light as a pivotal moment in Ishgard’s history.”

“There, see, you said it yourself, it’s actually my fault all this happened,” Kitali teased. “You’re absolved of any blame.”

He huffed a small laugh. “Would that the rest of the city agreed.”

[maespri]

im sorry if i implied that it was you who stated that it was ryuji's fault, i meant in the story. ryuji was the one who was compelled to apologize to morgana for the whole debacle.

iirc here is what happened. thieves are doubting, discuss okumura, back to doubting, ryuji questions their hesitance, ryuji backs down, morgana scoffs at the team AND THEN insults ryuji.

morgana insults ryuji after he was outnumbered and outvoted and leaves. how was i supposed to interpret that scene other than morgana lashing out at specifically ryuji?

and then it was framed as ryuji's fault?

if we're going to go back to the flashback scene, that was just ryuji's foot in his mouth, he didn't mean anything by it.

another point is that when morgana was the navigator, most of his lines for ryuji are either condescending or insulting.

we could have had another chie-yosuke or junpei-yukari dynamic for ryuji and morgana, as that was what their roles seemingly were subverting the male-female dynamic the previous persona games had were both characters are equal in insulting each other as some sort of banter (chie-yosuke) or taking things in stride and if it was serious would stop (junpei-yukari) but no morgana just can't help but add a snide remark every chance he gets at ryuji.

this is the last i want to touch on this topic, because seriously. i’m not here for discourse on a video game cat.

while i do appreciate your apology, the reason ryuji is the one who apologizes to mona is because he’s the one who keeps pushing mona away every time the phantom thieves get closer to getting him back home. mona literally would not have wanted to come back if ryuji didn’t apologize, sooo.

once again, you’re needlessly separating ryuji from the group. morgana snapped at all of them.

as i just said, it’s framed as “ryuji’s fault” because when they have the chance to get mona back in their group, ryuji pushes him away again instead of trying to fix things. and that’s not me trying to push blame onto ryuji for everything that morgana does- like i’ve been saying for the past two posts, it’s a two-way street- but in this scenario, it quite literally was his fault that he had too much pride to apologize and instead continued to fan the flames.

also, excuse me? saying that flashback was just ryuji’s foot in his mouth is crazy. like… did ryuji tell you that? that’s a completely opinionated statement. i could say everything mona says was just because he had his foot in his mouth. doesn’t hold up at all.

most of mona’s navigation lines for ryuji are backhanded, yes. but once again, i fail to understand why you’re continuing to use mona’s insulting ryuji as an argument when ryuji repeatedly insults mona as well. like i keep saying over and over: it is a two way street.

the chie-yosuke and junpei-yukari argument isn’t really applicable here in my opinion. both of the mentioned are close friends and were friends prior to the start of the game. they clearly don’t have any ill-intent behind any of their actions. the same isn’t true for mona and ryuji; sure, the writers could’ve followed the same dynamic previous games had, but they didn’t. because they weren’t trying to at all.

allow me to say this one more time: it is not just mona who can’t help being snide to ryuji. it’s ryuji who can’t help being snide toward mona as well. your complete absolving of any fault toward ryuji is hurting your argument. im not trying to make ryuji out to be some sort of monster and mona to be completely innocent; both are wildly untrue. but you have to realize that both characters are flawed and both characters are worsening their relationship.

i’m done having this argument. like i said at the beginning, i am not trying to be a beacon for video game cat discourse. you’re entitled to your opinion; i’m not required to repeatedly defend my ideas against it. have a great day.

[aclaywrites]

Maybe stop harassing an lgbt person for not knowing american politics from decades ago💀 YOU need to do better bc you attacked them for romanticism some dude (op just confused the characters) and fetishizing lgbt people (op is lgbt) so YOU messed up and refused to apologize

No, I commented that people need to not make Joseph McCarthy their special cinnamon roll because he’s an actual monster. It was a mistake she acknowledged and I acknowledged. I’m not going to apologize for being disgusted that people watch porn, or that they make gay and lesbian sex into their own personal masturbation fodder even to the extent of pretending it exists in places where it doesn’t (aka Supernatural). She even confirmed that it was the case— she watched the show because of the hot sex and doesn’t care about the parts of the story that talk about LGBT history. I’m not ‘attacking’ them for not knowing about US politics from the last century, I was surprised and then grossed out that they had so little interest in the show that they themselves chose to watch (except for the sexy bits). She didn’t tell me she was ‘LGBT’ (all of them?) until the very last conversation (as her justification for fetishizing gay sex) but it doesn’t make the objectification any more valid. I’m a lesbian— does that absolve me of everything? No it doesn’t, and it’s not an out for her either.

[theminiartblog]

I'll return to asking about the leading ladies next ask but I have to ask about my favorite antagonist since I was, like, 10! What happened to Clive after unwound future in your continuity? Was the attack a show like in miracle mask or was he stopped before he could attack London? How did he and Flora become friends and then closer?

Hear me out! I have OPINIONs! About the ending of Unwound Future past the forever bleeding wound in my heart that is Layclaire.

Sticking with the cutscenes, Clive very much did cause some serious damage to London, and he was lucky enough to get away with no casualties. I will give him that as my blessing, as it’s hard for me to downplay what he did--not that I'm saying you are either, but it definitely was not a hoax ala Miracle Mask or the “so-called murders” of Eternal Diva. There were many injuries, and much to rebuild.

At the same time, something that Chelmey says near the end always gets me going. “People can often be so blinded by their motivations they lose sight of the damage they do. But criminals aren’t the only blind ones.” This was in reference to Prime Minister Bill Hawks. I hate him so much, I’m sure we all do, he gets my blood boiling; We don’t let him get away with his misdeeds here. Some investigation is properly done, and Bill Hawks also gets sent away to jail, for having a hand in the time machine explosion that happened years prior. Now, I’m not a big student of law, so I’m sure the statute of limitations may have already run out, but there’s always exceptions to be had somewhere. I’d like to think they cracked that case right back open, hearing the connection. After all, at least three people had suddenly appeared with witness accounts, and plenty of evidence.

Now, mini, you may be asking? What does this long rant have to do with Clive? Well, this also managed to shorten Clive’s sentence as well! He got himself some well deserved therapy, while he was at it. During this time, and some time after, one of Clive's main confidants was the Professor. Flora is still staying with Layton, at this time, so she gets to speak with him as well. She wants to be mad at him, she is mad at him, he snatched her away with no regard for her own safety, used her as a pawn, locked her away as a prize to a puzzle for all she knows! For no other reason but because he could...

But also he was hurting, he was hurt. He’d lost his parents, and she knew that pain. That didn’t mean he was absolved of his wrongdoings, that doesn’t justify the means and make everything better, but she could at least hear him out. She could at least show him some kindness. He needed a little more of that in his life. He apologized to her, not expecting forgiveness, and she wasn’t ready to give it yet, but she could at least listen. They became friends eventually, and then-

Well, I’ll have to get back to you on the rest ♥️

[ensnchekov-a]

DRABBLE ⸺ 1 / ?

Somebody always dies.

Sometimes, no matter how fast his fingers fly at the transporter controls, somebody does not make it off Vulcan. Sometimes it is Sulu’s beacon that disappears before he can even blink and Kirk is laying there on the transporter pad dazed but still alive, horror in the depths of his eyes.

Kirk says, “Sulu,” and his voice breaks and all Pavel can do is curse his own fingers, a misplaced decimal point in his hasty computation of gravitational pull, and subpar skill because clearly the fault must lie with him. If it didn’t, both men would be alive now, but only one has returned and so he waits for the inevitable backlash that is sure to follow.

Other times, Kirk is the one swallowed up by the singularity that is consuming Vulcan. Sulu materialises on the pad and Pavel’s heart stops because there’s only one and there should be two men, but he knows he’s hoping for an impossibility. He doesn’t know what happened as they fell, but Sulu looks in Pavel’s direction with a thousand-yard-stare and he feels the burn of accusation. “He lost his grip,” Sulu says, but what Pavel hears is “You couldn’t save him, kid. This is your fault.”

Pavel knows he’s right.

—

Tonight, he fails again to save Amanda Grayson. The red cliffs of Vulcan crumble and a woman screams and she is terrified, Pavel is sure of that, as she plummets dizzyingly fast toward her own grave. There is nothing he can do.

Five Vulcans make it aboard the Enterprise. One human does not.

—Я потерял ее, he whispers gravely, and the words repeat over and over in his head like a death sentence.

Four Vulcans maintain an air of cold impassivity on their faces that do not reach their eyes. There is anger in their eyes, unrestrained and unmasked, and Pavel feels the burn of their gaze searing right through his clothes, his skin, and he starts to believe—however foolishly—that looks can kill.

One allows his face to twist with a rage so thick he can feel it across the room. An apology forms in the back of Pavel’s throat, but he chokes on the words because an apology will not fix what he has done. It will not bring back the mother he failed to save, it will not make him less responsible, it will not absolve him of his failure.

—У меня получится! He hears his premature confidence echo in his head and never has he been so wrong.

His throat feels impossibly tight and he’s only semi-aware of the fact that he’s no longer sitting at the transporter controls. His back is firmly pressed against the wall and beyond the sound of his heart beating furiously in his chest, the room is deathly silent. He’s frozen still, not in control of his limbs. When he comes back to himself, Pavel sees it there in Spock’s eyes as his vision begins to fade: anger, betrayal, directed solely at him.

‘I trusted you to save her,’ Spock’s fury-darkened eyes say. Not a single soul moves to intervene. Pavel doesn’t remember how to speak, doesn’t think he’ll ever remember how to again.

—

Everything is still black when his eyes snap open and for a moment, nightmare is inseparably entangled with reality. He’s dead—Spock strangled him and he didn’t put up a fight now he is who-knows-where, there are no answers to what happens after death. But his heart is pumping like he has just finished a marathon—the hearts of dead men don’t beat—and he’s suddenly aware of the Starfleet issue blanket tangled around his midsection.

He is not dead. He is still on the Enterprise, startled awake by another nightmare. This is the fifth since they began their journey crawling back to Earth on impulse power and it will not be the last.

“Компьютер, свет на 20%.” His voice is far away and sleep-addled and it takes the computer a fraction of a second longer to obey when he mumbles in Russian, but the lights ease on. He digs his palms into his eyes and rubs away the exhaustion.

Almost any attempt at sleeping more than a few hours is thwarted by his subconscious—seventeen years is long enough to know how his body will react to certain things, and he has always suffered from nightmares in the wake of stress and trauma ever since he was young. They are defence mechanisms, he recalls reading in a journal when he was around ten years old, the subconscious mind’s way of working through difficult scenarios.

Some have suggested rewriting their nightmares and exerting a certain mastery over the dreamscape, but try as he might, this was never a skill he was able to achieve. Why, he can’t say—he knows what these nightmares are trying to tell him, so it should be simple to imagine a different outcome.

He finds this far more challenging than some of the courses at the Academy.

He’s tired—they all are, why should he complain?—but as long as he can continue to function as navigator and ensure their safe return home, he can endure the restless nights and Sulu’s constant enquiring after the faint dark circles under his eyes and the how are you? at the beginning of every shift. Sulu is a perceptive man. Pavel knows that he suspects something and that he does not really believe his smile and his automatic ‘I am fine, Mr. Sulu,” but he hasn’t pushed too far yet, and for that, he’s grateful.

He untangles himself from the covers and stands. His body wants to go back to sleep, but his mind and his heart are still racing. The chrono at his bedside reads 0229 hours and this may be a blessing in disguise. The Enterprise will be mostly asleep at this hour and he just wants to get out of this room, to wander the decks while he picks apart his thoughts and not have to worry about someone on the crew stopping to make small talk or smile ask how he is.

He’s fine. He just doesn’t want to smile right now.

Pavel snatches up the sweater he left hanging over the chair at his desk, tosses it on over his pyjamas, and slips out of his quarters in a pair of slippers.

Twenty-one steps takes him from his quarters to the turbolift and the only sounds in the corridor are his slippered feet tapping against the floor and the low humming breaths of the Enterprise. He mumbles, “Deck 2,” when the turbolift doors glide shut and steps out the moment they open about thirty-six seconds later.

He could spend some time on the Observation Deck and stare out into the black and let his mind wander. The stars have always been a comforting sight; something to focus on when his mind moved too fast for him to keep up. Tonight, he’d like to lose himself in plotting aimless courses and calculating within a minute the amount of time it would take them to reach home at this very moment.

Movement in the corridor in front of him momentarily makes him forget all that. He does not want company right now, but he quickly straightens his spine and attempts to muster up a cheerful smile. He’ll say hello, they’ll exchange small talk, and then he will be free to continue on.

It was a perfect plan had he run into anybody else on the crew. He should curse the universe for its cruelty.

“M-Mister Spock,” Pavel manages softly and forces his spine as straight as it can possibly go.

“Mister Chekov.” Spock tips his head a fraction of an inch and acknowledges him calmly. His voice sounds no different from the way he would address anyone else on the crew, but Pavel is still afraid to look him in the eye for too long and face what he’s seen in his nightmares.

Resentment. Blame. Anger.

“Is everything all right, Ensign?” Pavel swallows and forces himself to look up. It’s only now that he notices Spock is not in full uniform—he’s in black instead of science blue—and he looks perfectly relaxed with his hands clasped behind his back.

But he knows—it was a lie, then, just like his own. He remembers the mask of calm dissolving in the fire of explosive rage and how helpless the captain was when caught in it. He feels that same fury directed at him and he needs a minute to find his voice.

After a long pause, he answers, “You are not asleep. Sir.”

Spock lifts a brow. “No. Nor are you.” Pavel shakes his head and Spock continues, “You may join me if you do not have other arrangements. I am—amenable to the idea of company.”

He doesn’t elaborate any further. Pavel shuffles in place, momentarily stunned by the Commander’s easy invitation. He shouldn’t want anything to do with him. His guilt is written all over his face—the Commander should not want to spend time with the man responsible for the loss of his mother. It doesn’t add up.

The words he hasn’t said yet are eating a hole through his chest. In his nightmares, he never has the chance, but he can do it now, he can apologise, and he’ll understand if he blames him, he is well within his right t—

“Ensign.” Pavel’s thoughts come to a screeching halt. “Chekov.” Spock’s brows knit themselves together and a stone drops in Pavel’s stomach. Unless Spock used the telepathic abilities inherent to Vulcans to pick up on his thoughts, he hadn’t just thought all that—he said it out loud.

“Sir, I-I’m so sorry. I—”

“Come with me,” Spock says, less an invitation and more an order. “There are things we must discuss. Allow me to preface this with the following: I harbour no resentment towards you for what happened.”

[animezin-ph]

A Silent Voice: A World Suic*de Prevention Day Post

TRIGGER WARNING

This post may contain triggering words. Please read with caution. If you are feeling uneasy, you may choose to stop reading this post.

SPOILER ALERT

This post may include some spoilers from "A Silent Voice" (anime film)

"Why'd you want to kill yourself?" The mother of Shoya asked him.

A Silent Voice

During sixth grade, Shoya bullied Shoko because she was deaf.

It wasn’t a pleasant experience for Shoko, but soon after, the sins of Shoya came and bit him back, and then it wasn’t a pleasant experience for Shoya either.

Shoya was bullied because he was a bully. He became an outcast, and everyone left him alone.

After maturing, Shoya couldn’t get Shoko out of his head. His guilt tore himself apart and the ostracism haunted him.

Trauma

As a result of all the negative experiences that happened to Shoya, he closed himself off to everyone. He also became very afraid.

He started to become hyper vigilant about others around him. This led him to be careful and cautious with his actions.

He felt like he was always on guard even if good things were happening to him.

It's as if he couldn't allow good things to happen to him.

The Unthinkable

All these emotions: guilt, regret, sadness, hurt, and trauma, made Shoya want to die.

He hated everything he has done at this point.

He hated himself. 

The Start of Empathy

Shoya felt guilty and regret as soon as he experienced similar things that he did to Shoko.

Being pushed around, being left out, being hurt, being traumatized.

Maybe he thought deep inside, “This must’ve been what Shoko felt.”

And this has been buried deep down in him.

As soon as Shoya saw Shoko again years later, he wanted to reach out. Not just to meet her, but to let voices be heard. He now wanted to form a new connection with her. A connection filled with love and empathy.

The Guilt

However, it wasn’t only Shoya who felt guilty.

Shoko felt guilty as well.

She felt like if Shoya stayed with her, it would only make his life worse.

Shoya became a very important person to Shoko at this point because of how he now treated her (with love and understanding.)

And when she thought and felt she may have been the reason why Shoya experienced being left out, she tried taking her life.

This was because she hated herself. She always apologized. This shows she felt like a burden to everyone. 

“Help me live”

Both Shoko and Shoya apologized to each other. 

Shoya told Shoko “I want you to help me live.”

All the burden that Shoko felt reached Shoya, and all the burden Shoya felt reached Shoko.

Both of their voices were finally heard.

Conclusion

First, I realized that sometimes, we have difficulty in understanding what another person is going through, not unless we go through something similar. But this doesn’t absolve us of our responsibility to try to understand what another person is going through.

Second, nobody deserves to be bullied.

Third, nobody deserves to feel like a burden.

Fourth, everyone deserves a second chance at life. Nobody deserves a painful life that they try to take their own lives.

Last, we should always strive to become better people.

We should strive to help each other heal.

We should love one another and care for one another.

Let’s form empathy and understanding and learn and raise awareness.

Let’s make the world a better place.

Final Thought

Did you relate to any part of the post? Or did you have any realizations about the movie?  If so, don’t be afraid to reblog or leave a comment below so we can discuss! I’m open to asks as well if you want to ask anything about anime or mental health!

If you are having suicidal thoughts or you know anyone who is having suicidal thoughts, please don’t be afraid to reach out to a friend, a family member, or a professional. (Below also is a list of phone numbers that you can call) 

Remember, you are loved, you are not a burden, and you are not alone!

World Suic*de Prevention Day

Today, September 10, is World Suic*de Prevention Day. It’s an awareness day for us to remember how important a life is. 

But, even if today passes, let’s always remember to reach out to other people for help, or to reach out to people who are in distress.

Let’s raise awareness to prevent suic*des and prioritize mental health.

Let’s heal together. You are not alone.

If you need someone to talk to, you can also send me a private message here on tumblr, or call the following phone/landline numbers to reach out to professionals who can provide a listening ear:

In Touch: Crisis Line

(02) 893-7603 (Landline) 0919-056-0709 (Smart) 0917-800-1123 (Globe) 0922-893-8944 (Smart)

In Touch: Crisis Line is a 24/7 free confidential support over the phone. It’s open to everyone in the Philippines who are in need of a listening ear for issues related to anxiety, depression, relationships, self-harm, or suicide.

Hopeline

(02) 804-4673 (Landline) 0917-558-4673 (Globe) 0918-873-4673 (Smart)

Hopeline is a 24/7 suicide prevention and crisis support helpline by the Philippine Red Cross, which is among the first to launch in the country.

Suicide and Crisis Lifeline 988

[lustlovehart]

Hi there, i saw ur blade fics & omg 😳 So i came here to send a req for another blade content with gn reader. No yandere blade, but kinda dark (related to ur latest fic of him & i hope u r ok with my req, feel free to decline it).

So, ur latest fic said the reader leaves all of the 'sinning' to him. What if the reader wants to kill someone cz that person is somehow related to their past (in terrible terms with them & it haunts the reader like how it haunts blade). But the reader remembers to leave the 'sinning' to him, so they ask blade to do it (even though they apologize afterwards cz they feel like burdening him).

I hope my req is all safe, im sry if it's complicated 😭 But thx a lot!

Hell Is A Place Without You

A/n: Ahhh!!! I’m so happy you enjoy my Blade writings ^^, I actually already was planning on making a part 2 for it so this req was perfect | pt.2 of I’ll Suffer Your Sin

Summary: Your mind is dirtied with unwanted memories, who knew that nightmare would come back to haunt you? Only you decide who ends your dream. [Date with Blade goes horribly wrong]

Warnings: Violence, Blood, Being watched while you sleep, Awkward Bladie trying to court you, Minor Character Death, horrifically written fight scene

It’s impossible to truly escape your past, the traces and scars it left behind on you will always remain on your body, no matter how hard you scrub it off. Even in your own dreams, you aren’t free of such a hell. The way that they had betrayed you is etched so deep into your skin tearing your flesh to reach its core will never be enough to absolve you from the memory. The past you remember is buried in blood, their laughter ringing in your ears as you watched them destroy everything you had, yourself as well.

You dream of being free, alas, you'll be chained by it as long as they have you.

“Is something wrong?” The way your heart pumps as gasps of air rush in and out of your lungs doesn’t fail to go unnoticed by the man next to you. He’s bare, the only thing covering his torso being the bandages wrapped around his waist. The way the light from the moon gazing through the window highlights his prettiest features, his muscular stature, his face, and even the scars that adorn his skin are beautiful.

You're sure you would've liked the sight more had you been in a regular state of mind. The events from yesterday still continue to stir you up, and the nightmare only made it worse.

"I-It's nothing just a… Wait, have you slept at all Blade…?"

…

"No, I haven't"

"Why? I know you have sleeping problems but you should try."

" I was making sure you're okay." For a moment his eyes lock onto your wrapped hand, a cruel reminder of what he had done yesterday, 

…

"Were you… Watching me sleep…?" he blinks a few times at you before turning back towards the window. Maybe that cold chill up your spine was caused by him instead of your nightmare.

“If I said no you wouldn’t be convinced.” He’s right, even if he did you would most definitely tell he was lying. Well to be fair, he never lies to you, so it wouldn’t be hard to tell in the first place. Now that you think about it, there are some moments in which you wish he would’ve created a fake truth, alas, him and his “that will change nothing” mindset won’t fulfill that wish.

“You’re right, I probably wouldn’t.” You lift yourself from the bed, the sun still hasn’t risen, in fact, it’s still evening, but knowing you have a serial sleepwatcher in the room with you, it might just be better to stay up.

His eyes follow your groggy form slowly putting your work outfit on, his gaze not at all straying. It’s only when you look straight at him that he finally decides to not stare.

He breaks the silence while you’re trying to put on your shoes, his words making you pause and look back up at him for a moment, a null feeling hidden in your chest makes you consider telling him, but in the end, you choke it down and pay no mind to his words, going back to putting your footwear on.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I said it was nothing—“ You don’t feel like announcing your personal problems as of the moment. When you finish, your body stands back up to its regular height, a small scream escaping your lungs when you turn around and find your coworker standing too close for comfort behind you. His stone-cold face is only inches apart from your own, each breath that escapes him being felt on your skin.

Despite how intimidating the situation is from an outsider's perspective, this proximity of closeness is usual between the two of you, so it doesn’t bother you as much as it should, but that doesn’t stop the chill in your body from happening.

“I don’t lie to you, I never would. Why don’t you hold the same sentiment?” His voice is soft, it’s a dead giveaway of his feelings for you, at least, you think it is, he’s not exactly the type to directly say “I love you”, so you have to gauge his current emotions through his body language and actions. It’s not a problem for you, that doesn’t mean it’s easy though.

“But I’m… I’m not lying.”

“Yes. You are. You’re not very good at it.” Sometimes you wish the two of you didn’t work as well as you do, if that was the case, maybe he wouldn’t be able to see through you so easily.

…

“You’re right I’m lying. But… I don’t know why you care so much… It has nothing to do with you.” Your sentence starts soft before branching out into a firmer tone. This change in attitude made his breath, though barely audibly, hitch in his throat. You don’t speak any more words, only letting his sight linger on you a little longer. His eyes close when he finally retracts himself from your body.

The breath you had held in your esophagus was finally sighed out from the sudden free space. When you look up again, you see the man walk towards the door, the handle clicking as he unlocks and turns it open.

Is he gonna leave…? No is he… Brooding…? The door swings open quickly, his body maneuvering so he’s on the side. He doesn’t look at you, but with the way he’s holding the door, you assume he’s holding it open for you.

“Let’s go.”

“Wha? It’s practically midnight… Where would we go? Nothing's open, and the script is meant to start in a couple of hours—“

“Do we need to have something to do?”

“Well, usually, yeah.”

“Then we’ll walk.” His eyes still don’t make contact with yours, but you can feel the very feint feeling of him wanting you to agree. As you walk forward your body can’t help but hesitate for a moment. The Stellaron hunter is quickly taken by surprise when he feels your previously injured hand grab onto his wrist and drag him along behind you.

———

The planet you both are currently residing within is a metropolis filled with millions of stores. Maybe if you hadn’t dreamed in your sleep you could’ve gone shopping, too bad they’re all closed.

“You could always go when we’re done with the script.” His deep voice breaks your train of thought as you look down at the tiny lights. You don’t look at him but a quiet “mm” is all he needs to hear to know you heard him.

“By the time we’re done, the city will be in shambles, I don’t think that’ll work.” It’s sad really, looking down at the little glowing wisps reminds you that there are people who live here, not just people, animals, and robots, all with their own lives.

“I didn’t say you had to buy anything.” Sometimes though, not all those lives are worthy of happiness.

“Are you implying we should steal during the aftermath?” You don’t hear the silent steps walking towards the two of you, too absorbed in your conversation with the one your coworkers describe as your “bodyguard”.

“I could do it for you.” They’re close, close enough to hear the words you speak to the man.

“Would you really? I thought you were the type to not stray from the script.” You finally turn around to face him, despite the solemn mood, a slight smile can be seen from your lips a teasing demeanor exuding from your mask. Your body leans on the railing, Blade's eyes occasionally shifting to where you stand, you take it he’s worried you’ll fall.

“I am. I’m following it. Elio says I’m to “make [Name] enjoy the planet”.”

“Oh? So you’re only doing it cause you have to?” Your body lifts from where you once leaned, his own staying unmoved as you advance toward him.

“No, I would’ve done it either way.” Your smile widens a little more, his words are simple but it’s nice to know he’d do something like that for you unprompted. 

The way your face exudes such a warm expression doesn’t go unnoticed, going from a formerly teasing to a more heartfelt look, making his mouth almost quirk up. Almost. As he stares, his mind is taking at least 5 mental pictures to not forget the look on your face.

Perhaps he’ll use it in the future whenever his mara needs quenching. Who’s he kidding, it’s not perhaps, it’s for certain that he’ll use it.

“Would you buy-- or rather, steal me a drink 'cause you want to?“ your finger lifts causing the man's attention to shift, looking at the vending machine in the far distance filled with different juices and beverages. He can feel you gently open his palm, placing credits in his hand. He doesn’t say words but nods his head, turning to walk towards the machine. 

A machine that was quite the stretch away from you.  

Your head turns to look at the pretty lights at the city below, unsuspecting of the person hidden behind you. 

A crunch sounds out through the air, your body immediately spinning to see the figure hurling towards you, the glint of steel highlighting the weapon in their hand. 

Clash of Blades continue to spiral out in the space until you’ve successfully pinned them to the railing, their body leaned over the fence, a small edge laid on their throat. Right there, in your hands, is the chance to leave your history behind in the dust. But, your hand can’t help but tremble. Your knees are weak too, despite it, your hand continues to press deeper, blood drawing from the wound. 

“Take me, as much as you need. All of it if you have to.“

“is that it?“ a sadistic laugh escaped from the depths of their throat. The cold feeling of a sharp point is directed in your stomach. “I’m fine with you coming back if that’s what you want-“ 

“... I don’t need it. So have it.“

The figure is shoved to the side, their head making contact with the floor, the weapon in your hand unmoving from its place as you look down to where their body lies. They’re still alive, the harsh breathing of their crumpled form on the floor is enough to tell you. A hand intertwines with your own, the familiar touch reminding you of the events from yesterday. 

Blade's hand is warm as he holds your fingers in his, the reds in his eyes looking at you. 

“...“ 

For a moment, your eyes make contact, keeping a steady connection. The light from the city accentuates his looks, the expression on his face pensive, yet still pretty at the same time. 

“I’ll leave the… ‘sinning’, to you then.“

Slowly, your grip on the handle loosens, the only thing keeping your hold on the weapon being Blade's hands clinging to yours. 

“Blade… Please–“ Your head is turned down, the gentle tilt of his hand making you look at the floor. The knife is finally released from your possession, your eyes not looking up to meet him at the trade. From the edge of your vision, you can see Blade shrug off his outerwear, hanging the piece of clothing on your head, further sheltering you from the gruesome sight soon to come. 

The smell of Citrus and Herbal tea invades your nostrils, both comforting and horrifying. But, the scent is enough to distract you from the harsh sound of a knife swinging and the wheezing that accompanies it. A few quick jabs and the sound of breathing slowly dissipates. 

Even then, Blade's attack on the body does not stop, he keeps going until he can discern the sound of heavy breathing being yours and not his own, finally breaking him out of his trance and allowing him to turn back to you. 

Your hands slowly begin to lift the jacket from your person before swift footsteps halt your actions, quickly tugging the fabric back down. 

“Not yet.” 

He’s quick to take you by the waist, the pungency of iron breaching the protective layer of cloth between you and him. It isn’t until minutes pass does he delicately lifts the jacket off your head and rests it on your shoulders. 

The sight, it’s one you’ve seen dozens of times on him, deep scarlet liquid splattered and smeared on his body, hollow eyes, sullied clothes with fresh blood on his soft hair. 

You continue clinging onto his jacket. Looking at him, but not at him. The barrier serving as a blockade for the beast in front of you. 

Neither of you speak, only listening to the sounds of the sleeping city as you indulge in one another. His mouth leans towards his bloodied glove, the teeth behind his lips revealing themself and serving as a removal for the piece of fabric. 

He reaches for your hand, the scars on his skin evident as you allow him to place your palm on your chest. 

“You’re alive [Name].” He’s right, the beating in your chest is proof of that fact. But so what? “You’re alive in the same way that I’m dead.” What? The look he holds in his eyes is empty, not giving you any telltale sign of what he means. 

“But even then, what would the living know about the words of the dead.” A quote from Kafka that she had restated is all you can remember in your mind. His grip on your hand doesn’t relent for a moment, only pointing his head in the direction of the city, signaling you to turn around and see. 

The once-slumbering city has now awoken. A beautiful sight that will eventually fall despite the morning's hope. 

A ding sounds from Blade's phone. 

Kafka 🕸️: Are you ready dears? 

---

This took way longer to finish than I wanted it to