#apl ace

[lovelessrage]

It is officially Asexual Awareness Week, so it's time to bring up one of my favourite facts that not a lot of people seem to know about.

Did you know the first appearance of aplatonic was from an asexual person? "Aplatonic" was first coined on the AVEN forums by an alloromantic asexual man in 2012. He was using it to describe the experience of only loving his friends that he would later go on to date/develop romantic feelings for. While the term was independantly coined on Tumblr a few years later, and is often associated with aromanticism, our history is linked with asexual history, and our doors have always been open to aplatonics of all kinds.

The original thread is still viewable on the Internet Archive today.

[Image ID: A screenshot of the Internet Archive. At the top is the search bar with an AVEN url entered, with a screen capture for December 2nd, 2023. There are 72 captures total. The captured post below is titled "Aplatonic". Below, it reads: "By Mr. Shuttershy, April 6, 2012 in Asexual Relationships". /End ID]

Happy Asexuality Awareness Week! Remember aces of all kinds while you celebrate, including aplatonic, afamilial, loveless, and other atertiary aces. They are always going to be a part of our community, and it's important to remember, as always, no matter how different we are, we are just as equally connected some way or another.

[dissecnalyst]

Guess what I saw:

SLEEP, ALONE

SLEEP.

ALONE.

SLEEP ALONE 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥‼️‼️

[auggator]

not having sex is morally neutral. having sex is morally neutral

not engaging in romance is morally neutral. engaging in romance is morally neutral

not having friends is morally neutral. having friends is morally neutral

[thetisming]

people who exclude straight trans people and straight aspec people are my worst enemies. btw

[aromantic-spinda]

A podcast run by an asexual, an aromantic, and an aplatonic called "AAA" and every time an episode starts, one of them welcomes the audience by screaming into the mic

"hello and welcome to AAA!"

[loveless-arobee]

The answer to aspecs asking you to stop assuming [thing] about all aspecs is not to start assuming [opposite of thing] about all aspecs btw.

"Stop assuming all AlloAros have a lot of sex (or "are sluts")" does not mean "Start assuming no AlloAro has lots of sex" and also not "No AlloAro ever feels comfortable calling themselves a slut (or whore or w/e)" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aros are loveless and non-partnering" does not mean "start assuming all aros do love ("in non-romantic ways") and are always partnering" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aces are sex-repulsed" does not mean "start assuming all aces are sex-favourable", and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all aplatonic people want to make friends" does not mean "start assuming no aplatonic people want to make friends" and vice-versa.

"Stop assuming all [aros or aces, mostly*] experience no [romantic or sexual, mostly*] attraction" does not mean "start assuming all [aros or aces] experience some form of [romantic or sexual attraction]" and vice-versa.

[Continue ad infinitum; these are just some examples and listing all things like that would be impossible.]

Just stop making assumptions about people based on one part of their identity. If they decide they want you to know, they'll tell you. If you want to know, you can ask, and maybe they'll give an answer (don't act like you're owed one, tho).

Accept that all people are different and even people under the same queer identity are going to have a vastly different experience; especially vast umbrellas like the aspec-identities. Instead of taking what one aspec person says about their identity as true for everyone under that same identity and then taking everything else as a "contradiction" to that label, or as something that needs another or a different label, simply accept that different people are going to have a different experience even if they use the same words to describe them.

It's really not that hard.

[*I think this may also apply to other aspec-identities (aplatonic, afamilial, atertriary, etc), right? I see these takes mostly inside of and directed at aro- and ace-spaces; but it also seems like it just applies across the board, non-aro and non-ace aspec-identities are just lesser known and thus not discussed as often.]

[love-me-love-my-weirdness]

Cishet aspecs are queer.

Cishet aromantics are queer. Cishet asexuals are queer. Cishet aplatonics are queer. Cishet afamilials are queer. Cishet anattractionals are queer.

Aspecs are queer as hell and excluding them only isolates queer people from their community.

[thermodynamic-comedian]

reflecting on it all, i really think one issue that the aspec community refuses to actually talk about (or, at least, those of us who aren't affected by it refuse to talk about) is that acceptence of aromanticism is still entirely conditional.

i'm not aplatonic myself, but even i can see how the aspec community excludes them. like, yeah, sure, being aromantic is cool!...as long as you still experience platonic attraction and have platonic relationships and replace romance with friendship at every turn.

and if you're aromantic, you also have to be asexual. because sex without romance is immoral and dirty and abusive. and every aroallo is an invader who's trying to destroy your perfect, pure, sex-negative aspec community. if an aromantic is not asexual, they are not a valid aromantic.

if you've ever found yourself wondering why aplatonics and aroallos alike have their own small communities instead of just being a part of the wider aspec community, this is why. you drove us away.

and your acceptence of aromanticism is still entirely conditional.

[dabouse]

happy pride to

male aspecs - your existence isn't sad, and you aren't an incel.

female aspecs - you aren't a prude

non-binary aspecs - you guys are real, seen, and valid

aspecs who are loveless - you aren't any less human

aspecs who are very loving - you aren't faking it

aroallos - you aren't just a whore

alloaces - you aren't just celibate

aplatonics - you're not any less valid than other aspecs

happy pride to all aspecs!

[heartless-aro]

People when a character is aromantic or aromantic coded: Wowie! They’re aroACE! Because they aren’t interested in romance! Look at how aroace they are!

People when a character is aroace or aroace coded: Isn’t it cool that this character is asexual? Asexual icon! They’re such great asexual representation :)

[angieblogging]

aspecs are A PART of the LGBTQIA+ community. try to argue cunts.

[lovelessrage]

I'm late, but shoutout to loveless aces, aplatonic aces [especially aplatonic alloaces], heartless aces, afamilial aces, and any asexual that doesn't love conventionally, doesn't feel one of the "universal" loves, or feels excluded by the broader asexual conversation. You are welcome and you are appreciated.

[fun-k-boards]

All aspec people are awesome as fuck

[auggator]

if you can understand that sex and romance aren’t essential to the human experience, you can understand that friends and platonic feelings aren’t either.

[thetisming]

amatonormativity: a romantic partner should be the most important person in EVERYONE'S life

NOT amatonormativity: MY romantic partner is the most important person in MY life, but i understand this is not the same for other people

allosexnormativity: EVERYONE should have sex and sex is something EVERYONE needs/wants/should want

NOT allosexnormativity: I PERSONALLY enjoy sex and love having sex because it makes ME feel good, but other people dont feel the same and that's okay

platonormativity: having friends is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs/has/should have friends

NOT platonormativity: having friends is important to ME and I PERSONALLY love having friends, but there are people who dont and theres nothing wrong with that

faminormativity (is that the word?): family is important for EVERYONE and EVERYONE needs to have their family

NOT faminormativity: family is important to ME and I PERSONALLY need my family with me, but other people dont feel the same and i understand that

lovenormativity (again, not sure if this is a word): EVERYBODY feels love and there's something wrong wiith you if you dont

NOT lovenormativity: I PERSONALLY feel love and love people, but not everyone does and that's completely okay!

NOT amatonormativity: i dont have friends/have any desire to have friends, i am happy with other relationships/no relationships at all

NOT platonormativity: i dont have any desire to be in a romantic relationships, and i am happy with my platonic relationships

NOT allosexnormativity: i like hooking up with people and having one night stands or friends with benefits

NOT faminormativity: i care about my family deeply and am close with family members

NOT lovenormativity: i feel love for people i care about

it's not normative to personally enjoy something, so long as you respect that other people simply arent like you and aren't going to like the same things as you. taking down normativity is a two way street, allos and aspecs need to do it. support your local aros, aces, apls, afams and other aspecs today! remember to challange all normativities, and to not enforce other normativity by saying how bullshit other normativities are!

nothing is universal. romance is not universal. sex is not universal. friendship is not universal. family is not universal. love is not universal. nothing is universal.

[flagautismguy]

alt ace-spec, aro-spec and apl-spec flags

symbols used : 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

based on these flags : 1, 2, 3, 4