#aph chinese trio

[aph-honk-kong]

China: Anyone d -

Macau: Depressed?

Hong Kong : Drained?

Taiwan: Dumb?

Japan: Disliked?

China: - done with their work?

China: Are you guys okay?

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

College AU revised r/ships between the Asians pt. 1

It was too long so part 2 is (hopefully) coming with the SEAsians, India, South Korea, and Mongolia

Part 2! part 3 coming soon

spoiler, all of them are not related

China still loves taking people under his wing because he’s got a Big Bro complex (consistent in every AU)

Tried taking Hong Kong (THEY ARE UNRELATED) under his wing first in freshman year (1st year) because he apparently looked like he could use a responsible brother figure

Yao is neither responsible nor a brother figure 

Leon lowkey/highkey hates him but once in a while Yao drops actually good advice and it convinces him not to cut him off

Yao lowkey knows Leon dislikes him but he shrugs it off as teenage angst or something

Also Leon called him “Teach” once as an insult when Yao was lecturing him too much (trying to rub it in that he’s a fucking Old Man in his beliefs if not in looks) but Yao took it as a compliment so now they’re stuck with each other

They used to be closer but now Leon just does whatever he wants and Yao texts him about once a month to lecture him on some stupid stunt or other

Also Yao brings him food to his dorm at least once a week and Leon is keeping him around solely because of that tbh

Leon is friends with Taiwan and Macau because they got put in the same Russian Math class in middle school or something. HK fortunately got put in the back and noticed Taiwan looked as bored as him so he sent her a paper plane (expertly folded) and they became friends

Macau (Vincent in this AU) lived in the same neighborhood as Leon and one day Leon noticed he was also in Russian Math (it took a while though; he’s not really super perceptive) so they started vibing

Leon and Mei then started cheating off of Vincent’s homework

They’re still friends to this day (this day = college/university)

Because of Leon’s regular interactions with Yao he gets to know Mei and Vincent too

Mei thinks Yao’s an ass, probably because he said something rude to her once and because he gives off “I’m really successful and friendly but I’ve pretty much thrown my morals out the window at this point and would and could blackmail you and all your friends” vibes

Don’t leave them alone together because any conversation devolves into passive aggressive insults within two and a half minutes

Vincent thinks Yao’s decent but Yao also likes him the most despite interacting with him the least

Absence makes the heart grow fonder?

Anyways, it’s mostly because Vincent is really good at tuning out Yao’s rambling and somehow can tune right back in when Yao drops good advice or when he states the Main Point of his lecture

They don’t talk much though

We now come to Japan my man 

Kiku was pretty disconnected from the whole lot of them for a while

He probably meets Yao through Arthur or Alfred, but he’s really bad at first impressions and comes off very standoffish so Yao’s immediately put off and becomes hostile himself. Kiku tries to leave as quickly as possible because Yao is radiating animosity

However, Yao thinks about their meeting later, and comes to the conclusion that it might’ve been a fluke and that he should try talking to that guy again

The second time they meet is better but they’re still not super close; Yao’s really friendly but Kiku is confused because he thought Yao disliked him

Yao introduces him to Mei, Leon, and Vincent (he doesn’t really introduce them, more like Kiku bumps into the other three at Yao’s dorm when he goes to bring Yao some food for dinner)

Leon doesn’t like Kiku on sight, but he does better with Mei and Vincent (the first likes him, and the latter is neutral on him)

He and Mei become really fast friends (they might also date but idk)

Leon becomes more neutral about Kiku but still prefers to have nothing to do with him

Vincent vibes with Kiku and they become casual friends (Kiku was sorta disparaging towards him at first, probably because he thinks Vincent likes Yao too much)

Speaking of Yao, they’re both still very ambivalent about each other

Yao attributes it to their personalities just not meshing together

Kiku thinks it’s Yao that’s the problem, not him

They’ve grown much more distant but still recognize that the other is a good acquaintance to have around, so they’re still cordial to each other

They’re not super close though

reiteration: none of them are related, not even Hong Kong, Taiwan, Macau, and China

[vulpes-incendium]

(not on main blog so im sending these on anon, its mitch xoxoxo) CAN WE GET SOME FASHION HCS FOR TODAYS TRIO?

HK, TW, MO FASHION HEADCANONS 🇭🇰🇹🇼🇲🇴

TAIWAN 🇹🇼:

I hc Hsiao Mei to like to wear very girly clothes, soft, pastel, frills, CUTE. Taiwan is heavily influenced by Japan (cuz history) and now has quite good relationship with Japan, so I think her fashion would lean towards Japanese fashion! (My pov of Taiwanese is that they like cute stuff so yup! Cute fashion, but she can still kick ass lol)

Source: @liz-lisa

MACAU 🇲🇴:

Vicente is an old man (mature would be the better word), and he definitely acts like one. He's a businessman from the core, so even if he's not working, his style would still be leaning towards the formal side. His style is clean, chic and simple. Smart casual when he’s not wearing suits. He's always ready to do business or check on his casinos lol. He smells rich, but he keeps it subtle.

Source #1 | Source #2

(btw this is Korean actor Ji Jin Hee he gives me Macau vibe lol)

HONG KONG 🇭🇰:

Believe it or not, I actually had the hardest time deciding his fashion, because I think (as like most of the fandom) he'd look good in anything, so he wears whatever is on trend and pull them off effortlessly.

We all know that Leon is a fashionable guy, he’s always ahead of the trend and I think based on his personality, he would like to try new styles all the time. I would think his fashion is towards street fashion, but really anything, his clothes would just have to shout SWAG lol. I think he would experiment a lot, jumping between eastern and western fashion. One thing we know for sure is that HIS CLOTHES ARE EXPENSIVE.

(my one hc of him is that he changes his wardrobe really quickly, cuz he has to be on trend all the time lol)

Source: @lucifereschan, @aglam, last pic

(i don't think he minds colours, i just couldn't find any colourful clothings that suit him lol) @historihet 's drawing of him is also amazing

Oh yea he also likes to wear meme shirts or really badly translated shirts ironically, he’d wear the ugliest shirt and make it fashionable. (shoutout to my homies at the crult who gave me this idea lol)

Source

What do you think? Yall have any other suggestions? Thanks again my homie @lietpolhun for the ask!

@aphasiaweek ❤️

[chibiclem]

“APH alternate : Italy’s dark and light spectrum”

This is directly linked to my Eternat’s universe i’m develloping on deviantart, and it is the explanation of a concept about having different version of same people with a tendency to light and dark, depending of a materia called “Clauz” (a light Clauz and a shadow Clauz repectively). Each being have 2 Clauzs, the very first entity that ever existed in the Universe. Italy and Romano’s light Clauz is named “Iöga” and the shadow Clauz is named “Decerept”. (They both have the same Clauzs) The Clauz names have an impact on the names of their “Children”, as well as for their personality but the environment can change the “course” of their basic evolution.

If you want to know more about Clauzs and how a life is made in Eternat you can go there : https://www.deviantart.com/chibiclem/art/Life-and-Clauz-714737565

It is also the consequences of the destruction of the “God of Dimension”, resulting in all these doppleganger of mainly any beings but also planets at the time of his destruction, and thus, directly inspired from Tsubasa Reservoir chronicles, the creation of multiples dimensions/planets with more or less different evolutions!

Too many concepts that I tried to elabore more on deviantart than here.

Each character here have his stories : 

->From left to right

Feli (The pro-chiari):   The most pure of all Feli! The "Pro chiari" means in spiritual language (an universal language that all being with a soul can theorically understand) " pre-light". It's a special being that is protected by the lights and that will become one. (If you've read/watched the anime "Magi", it's there that the concept is born!) That's why Feli is treated like a messiah in his land, participating to ceremonies by dancing and attracting the lights. However, he's an humble character that live among the other in a village around the castle of her majesty. In the story where he is involved unfortunately, his planet will be consumed by a dark spell that broke the dimension and let "dimension devorers" enters theirs. The queen sacrified herself to activate a secret weapon, "The time clockers", which are 2 brothers, one being the needle and the other the dial (which have 2 personalities: the "dial of destruction" and the dial of reconstruction"). (And...they are alternate Germany and Prussia by the way) The time clockers  "saves" (more like in a computer even if nothing digital is involved) the people, beings and objects inside the dial by destroying them into “data” and then recreate them in another reality (which can  just be another planet) while erasing the threat they were activated for, but the counterpart is huge:  1) Everything outside the dial (which is around..50km^2 of diameter approximatively) will be purely erased from existence and memories, like it never existed in the course of time. So basically, the queen sacrified like 95% of her planet and inhabitants to save only a few. 2) The beings that were too damaged before the activation have to lose all their memory, and the others randomly lose it or keep it. Saying that not much people keep their memories intact during the process! 3) The ones that were already dead...are still dead but can be remembered (great consolation...). I could make a whole comics about this but really....I've no time nor energy to do so right now! XD

Ioga (The angel):  You may know that I love the concept of an angel Italy, and there are many Iogas existing. Their common point are their specialisation in exorcism. They generally live in society with other angels and are much more serious and devoted than Feliciano the Hetalia character, but they generally keep their innocent behaviour, though a lot of them have to face hardship.

Feliciano Vargas/Lovino Vargas: I hope you know them because if not you’ve got nothing to do her! XD

Felicia (Or "Feli The Commander"):  I've already make an art of her were I explained her story! --> https://chibiclem.tumblr.com/post/618265157131550720/aph-alternate-feli-the-commander-i-was

Feli (FX306): FX306 is a child experiment and the example of how a snapped version of Feliciano can be born. First, it's a little girl that would have the same personality as Feliciano or Lovino if she wasn't completely traumatized and her mind broken inside. FX306 lived in captivity with other children in one kingdom were the objective was to form an army of children with psychic powers, great longevity and skills in fighting. Her's is teriffic: she can control the body of other beings to a certain extent. However, she wasn't controlling it very well....She had to practice on the others captive children and almost all the time, the child's head before her exploded. Failing to her meant losing one of her "brothers" and "sisters", and even after crying, begging, she couldn't avoid the exercise that damaged her mind. One day, her most close friend went face to her, and she did everything to save him this time while both of them were terrified to their core. It worked in the beginning, but like always she lost the control, and the splash of blood came to her face . It was at this moment she completely snapped. Her scream of madness was so powerfull that she killed everything in her near perimeter even with the protection the scientist had. It also had another effect : sending a signal to the ennemies of the kingdom she was in, which was in reconnaissance expedition. The secret base was attacked while the children, which didn't understand anything of their situation, started to flee. But FX306 was berserk, she was making scientist kill each other, making their heads explodes, and killed in fact anything without distinction. Until she faced one of the scout, Bazy, an eternal-little zoion (zoion: half wolf half human with the apparence of a child and  "eternal-litle" is a kind of zoion that are immortal as long as nobody kill them). They fought against each other, and for the first time she couldn't killed it by one though because she couldn't focuse enough on him; he was too fast, too used to fight, much more than her. In the ruins of the facility she was in, he defeated her, but didn't killed her because suddenly, the ennemy he faced seemed more human, as she was crying in distress. Maybe it was the prelude of their future mariage, but he offered her to join his majesty and she accepted, falling in love with the one she considered her saviour and the only one that had defeated her. Afterward, they became inseperable. FX306 was baptised "Feli", and she became part of the special force of the queen from the kingdom of Cresseptia along with her husband; becoming really devoted to her majesty to the point of fanatism. Feli still is insane, but with more maliciousness as you can see on my drawing. Wearing a pink dress, she looks cute but have much control over her powers now and likes to use them to play with the ennemy of her queen. Also she has a bad temper and can easily become mad and instable. Only Bazy (which is by the way an alternate of Germany..again! ;) ) can stop her and create a balance, as he's the exact contrary: stern old soldier, collected. Even if both have childish forms, they are much older than they look! So you see, a weird couple!

Iota:  Iota is aside from the others. It's a stressed man living in a semi-steampunk world and an industrial city. He works as a math scientist that have powers over constants and physical laws. A magical powers that is quite complex, as it looks somehow like a more detailed alchemy. (If I were to give an example, he can make the wind blow faster in one direction, but for that he have to modify the velocity of the wind, adjust the other constant such as temperature, and create a vector for the travelling direction!) Another of his power, and one that is causing his life to be hell is his vision of fragments of the future, resulting in a chronic case of insomnia and stress. Asocial, he sometimes has to write/solve compulsively formulas and maths to decipher the future, or simply to action his mind. This lot of activity he has to do is making him even more tired, hence the dark circle down his eyes. The government is really interested in his work for  reasons you may easily guess, but he doesn't want anything to do with them anymore. Besides, he has saved a prisoner, Tykki, a zoion half maritime lezard half human (which is an alternate of England!) and of course doesn't need them to discover THAT. He also lives with a child ghost, Matthew (do I need to tell who he's inspired from?) in his little apartment where he rarely come out from. The food comes from a young boy, Xicke (alternate of China) which family lives in the same building and have a restaurant open to the street. (kind of a chinese restaurant, but not exactly) 10-year-old Xicke is actually pretty mature even if he complains a lot, and act like a mom to him, but also his confident, even if Xicke don't want to know secret that would put his family in danger!

Iöga: Mysterious young men, we don't know much about Iöga except that he changes dimension and has powers of controlling bodies like FX306, the difference being 1) he has perfect control over it 2) he can affect a larger zone. Forming a trio with his friends Ollicky and Shafugo (which are alternate of Russia and Korea respectively), they travels thanks to Shafugo's power (teleportation) to dimension in dimension like a group of teenagers travelling around the world. Except that they are quite dangerous and totally inpredictable. In the band, Shafugo likes to fight, Iöga makes fun of people to trigger them and then use his powers to make them regret it and Ollicky follows innocently the duo like a blooming flower. Nobody know how old they are, not even if they are eternally young or if Shafugo's teleportation also does time travel. Never have their irritating smiles dissapeared from their faces. They are the definition of trolling!  

Dercer :  That's the better for the end, may be not the most insane but the most dangerous of all the one I presented to you! Dercer is a silent scientist with eyes percing your very secrets. He is cruel and will experiment even on his own mother, and you know what he likes? Dissections... (You see, like the child that kills cats or dogs for fun?) He put a lot of pleasure in torturing his experiments, but is truly invested in science too. By that he is pretty much similar to "the Scientist", a demon making experiments to solve magical and scientific questions without any care for ethic. The worst is that he isn't insane at all, he wasn't traumatized as a child : he does everything without remorce, he planify everything, he is meticulous, discreet with bad maliciousness. His blood is cold and his smile unnerving. He however lives in a structure welcoming multiple scientists that mostly hate each other and it's the perfect thing for him because he can mess with them. How to describe him in one word? Psychopath....

[pearlescentplums]

omg i meant the fandom thats chinese,, im on lofter and its like, aph china x100 and its a blessing (ofc theres also macau + hk,, my babs)

yeah ive been on p much all chinese sites (i stopped after realizing that clicking on things that i cant actually read sucks fff) for those ho’s,,,, (its a double blessing for me cause i like all combinations of the chinese trio kms)

[aph-honk-kong]

Macau: Leon told me that instead of brooding, I should "go get it, girl!", so I am going to go get it, girl.

China: Get what?

Macau: Unclear. I'll get everything, just in case.

[aph-honk-kong]

China: L is for the way you look at me...

Macau: O is for the only one I see...

Taiwan: V is for very, very extraordinary...

Hong Kong:

Hong Kong: Egg

[aph-honk-kong]

Macau, Hong Kong and Taiwan: (screaming)

China, running into the room: What's wrong, Macau?

Taiwan: Why are you only asking him? We're all screaming!

China: Because Macau doesn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.

[aph-honk-kong]

Macau: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha voca do”, how are you guys feeling?

Hong Kong: I’m in between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America” but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”

Taiwan: Probably “road work ahead”.

China:

China: I speak twelve languages and this is none of them.

[aph-honk-kong]

(Over text)

China: Bye! Jave fin, Macau!

Hong Kong: JAVE FIN

Taiwan: JAVE FIN

China: *HAVE FUM

China: *HAVE GUM

China: *HAVE GIN

China: H A V E F U N

[aph-honk-kong]

China: It's fun to stay at Y -

Macau: M -

Hong Kong: M -

Taiwan: M -

Everyone:

China: Let's try again. It's fun to stay at the -

Hong Kong: YOUNG MAN -

[aph-honk-kong]

Passing Seasons

Harald gets a taste of opulence the moment he touches down on Hong Kong. [A continuation of this.] [Written for @aphasiaweek with a focus on Taiwan, Macau and Hong Kong.]

  He probably should’ve noticed the moment they got on the plane.

  Even though Harald and his brother have had the privilege of travelling to a different country once a year since they were young, all of their flights have been spent taking the economy class. But on the flight to Hong Kong, he and Leon were accosted by a smiling flight attendant right at Heathrow Airport and lead to the very front of their plane, where they have their own private suite.

  He’s in said suite now, the divider up between him and his boyfriend while he calls Stellan before takeoff.

  “This flight probably costs more than what I make in a year!” He exclaims. “Leon said the tickets probably got mixed up or something, but in that case it’s the luckiest damn mixup ever. Look at this place!” Harald moves his phone around to display his surroundings. “The seats are so soft I could melt into them.”

  On his phone, Stellan’s eyes widen at the sight of the cabin. “My goodness, I’ve lived in college dorms smaller than that.”

  “I know, right? Leon’s on the other side of this divider, having a pre-flight cocktail. I didn’t even know that was a thing, for fuck’s sake! Imagine getting drunk before you’re even in the air.”

  “Did Leon tell you where the two of you will be staying, by the way?”

  “I think we’re staying in a hotel,” he replies. “He’s been really secretive about this trip, even though it’s so important.”

  Stellan frowns. “Oh, that’s not good. Has he been acting differently lately?”

  “No, not really. But I’m a little nervous, going so far away while knowing so little.”

  “That’s natural. Remember to look out for yourself, especially since you don’t know much about Leon’s family and friends in Hong Kong.”

  The intercom crackles above. “Cabin crew, prepare for takeoff.”

  “Take care.” Stellan’s eyes crinkle as he gives a rare smile. “Call me if anything happens, okay? Even if it’s three in the morning for me I’ll get up to listen.”

  “Thanks, Stell. I have to go now, but I’ll call again when I get to Hong Kong. See you.”

  “Bye.”

  He lowers the divider in the cabin after he’s hung up. “I’m still in shock,” Harald tells Leon. “How on earth did the airline mess up this much to our favour?”

  “We’re just lucky, I guess.” Leon slides him a flute of champagne, eyes already slightly-glazed over. “It’s a good start to our trip. You nervous?”

  “A little,” he admits. “It’ll be my first time to Asia, for one, and I’ll be meeting all your old friends and your family. What if they don’t like me?”

  Leon cups his cheek, smiling tipsily. “They’re all going to love you, I promise.”

  The aircraft rumbles and begins to move. He leans over to nuzzle his neck. “If you say so.”

...

  Thirteen hours later, a very disoriented Harald clings on to Leon’s arm while they stumble through the Hong Kong International Airport. Groups of people are milling around, searching for the washroom, baggage pickup or both. Despite not having been back in years, Leon seems to know his way around perfectly and manages to get the two of them out of the airport without a hitch.

  A neatly-dressed lady is waiting for them outside the airport, standing by a limousine with a pleasant smile. “Welcome to Hong Kong, Mr. Wang and Mr. Grieg,” she greets. “We are here to take you to the Four Seasons Hotel. Would you like us to help you with your luggage?”

  “Wait, wh - “

  “Yes, please.” Leon nods to their cart of suitcases, and a group of workers immediately exit the limousine to pick them up. “Thank you very much.”

  “Leon, what the hell is going on?” He hisses. “Isn’t the Four Seasons one of Hong Kong’s most expensive - “

  “Just relax, babe.” He pecks Harald on the forehead. “I know what I’m doing.”

  He leads him into the limousine and sits him down on the plush velvet seat. Harald stares out the window, as though about to try and escape any moment. “Is this another mixup?”

  “I hope not.” Leon places his hand over his and smiles. “I just wanted you to be able to stay at the best place possible while here.”

  He gapes at the limousine, at the people still carrying their suitcases and stowing them in the trunk. “How much did all this cost?”

  Leon fidgets, suddenly looking down. “Uh...” he mumbles, “thirteen thousand six hundred pounds - “

  “What - “

  “ - per night.”

  “WHAT?” He nearly leaps out of his seat. “We can’t afford this! How long did you save up for the stay? Did you have to sell anything? How deep in debt are we? What the flying, soaring, somersaulting shit - “

  “Harald!” Leon wraps an arm around him. “I promise we’re not bankrupt or anything like that. I just happen to be friends with some people who work at the hotel, and they managed to get us a special discount. Really, you don’t have to worry about it.”

  “You could’ve at least warned me. If I’d known we’d be picked up in a limo, I wouldn’t have boarded the plane looking like a hungover college kid.”

  “I think you look as cute as ever.”

  “Shut up.”

  They begin to drive away from the airport. Harald can’t help perking up to look out the window, staring in awe at the massive white bridge they leave Lantau Island on, then the rolling countryside mingling with the occasional building. 

  They pass schools, shipping ports, shopping malls galore, but the most stunning sight is that of Hong Kong Island. Soaring skyscrapers are a massive contrast to the few colonial buildings left, and everywhere, pedestrians of all kinds mill around. 

  Leon snuggles into him, squashing him against the window. “So what do you think?”

  “It’s beautiful.” They pass a mall that looks like a miniature version of New York’s Times Square. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

  “Wait ‘til you see our hotel.”

  The limo pulls up in front of the Four Seasons and Harald’s jaw drops. This can’t be their hotel, it just can’t. The representative opens the door for them and leads them into the grand, gleaming building while their luggage is being taken care of. Still in shock, Harald steps into the stunning lobby and looks around. Not even the W Hotel, reputed as one of London’s best hotels, is this extravagant.

  The elevator is transparent, letting them look out onto the busy streets of Wan Chai. He can’t stop pinching himself, for this breathtaking building can’t be where he’s staying.

  The biggest shock comes when they open the door to their suite.

  “What is this?” Harald can’t even bring himself to step inside. The suite looks more like the living apartments of some Western monarch of old, with plush, elegantly-carved furniture, floor-to-ceiling windows showing the view and an actual chandelier hanging from the painted ceiling. Their suitcases are already there, opened up in their bedroom and waiting to be unpacked. 

  Leon is already making himself comfortable, pulling his clothes out of his suitcase and picking some out to wear after his shower. He looks at Harald, who’s still partially in shock. “What’re you waiting for?”

  He gingerly enters the suite, eyes wide. He can’t even speak.

  While Leon busies himself with showering, Harald takes out his phone and calls his brother. 

  “How was your flight?” Is the first thing Stellan asks after picking up.

  “It was amazing. The food was great, for one, and in the middle of the flight the attendants flattened my seat into a bed. But that’s not the point.” Harald flips his phone’s camera around and moves it around his room. “This is the hotel suite Leon booked for us!”

  He sits in silence for a while, quietly observing the room. “Well,” he finally says, “that’s certainly... something.”

  “It’s a lot.”

  “How much did this cost?”

  “Too much, that’s for sure.” Harald glances at the bathroom. He’ll have to shower after Leon. “Thankfully Leon has friends here and pulled some strings so we can stay here cheaper.”

  Stellan glances at something out of the camera - probably his husband - and waves him away. “It should be about three in the afternoon in Hong Kong right now. What do you have planned for the rest of the day?”

  “I’m going to shower first. How ‘bout you?”

  “I have an interview this afternoon, but that’s about it,” he says. “Have fun in Hong Kong, okay?”

  “I will. Good luck in your interview.”

  They chat for a while more before Leon is finally done with his shower and it’s his turn to freshen up. Even the bathroom is fancy - everything’s made of marble, the towels are still-warm and the soap fragrant. He almost wants to stay in there forever until he remembers he has a city to explore.

  Leon is on his phone, sitting on their massive bed when he comes out. “My brother and a friend of mine are meeting us at the hotel lobby in five minutes.”

  “Your friend?”

  “Her name’s Ling,” he explains. “She’s from Taiwan and pretty famous in the fashion world - her store opened a branch in Milan just last month.”

  “Ooh.” Harald flops down next to him. The sheets are impossibly soft. “Woah, this is the best bed I’ve ever slept in.”

  “Don’t get too comfortable,” Leon jokes. “We have go to down to the lobby.”

  He reluctantly gets up from the bed and follows him out of the suite.

 ...

  Vicente and Ling are waiting for them at the doors of the hotel. Leon waves at them, hand in hand with his boyfriend, and power-walks towards them as fast as he can without looking like he’s running. 

  “Jia Lin!” Ling rushes forward and envelopes him in a hug, laughing, “it’s been too long! You’re way taller now and your hair’s no longer a disaster but I see you still have shit fashion sense!”

  His brother ruffles his hair. “Well, you can’t blame him. Londoners are even worse.”

  Leon squirms out of Ling’s arms. “Why is it that the first thing you two do after seeing me is to roast me?”

  “Is that your boyfriend?” She abandons Leon to approach Harald. “Hello there! Welcome to Hong Kong!”

  With a skittish glance at him, Harald manages a smile. “Hi. My name’s Harald, and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  “No need to be so formal lah, just saying ‘hi’ is enough.” Ling stops in front of him, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I’m Yue Ling, but people always manage to mess up ‘Yue’ despite it being a three-letter word so just call me Ling.”

  “Uh, sure.”

  Vicente gives Leon another slap on the shoulder before going to greet Harald. “Hi again. I don’t think you forgot who I am, right?”

  “No, who are you?”

  “Shut up.” 

  “So!” Leon interrupts. “Where do you want to go?”

  Ling turns to him. “Shouldn’t you be the one deciding that? You’re the one who hasn’t been back for a while.” 

  Where to go first? There are so many old spots he simply has to revisit, but what sort of place will give Harald a good impression of his home city? Then his stomach growls. “I say we go eat something first.”

  “Why don’t we go to Chu’s, then?” Vicente suggests.

  “It’s still up?”

  “Of course. I don’t think anyone would have the heart to close that place down.”

  “Hell yeah.” Leon goes to take Harald’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “I haven’t had their milk tea in, like, forever.”

  Fifteen minutes later, the four of them are seated on rickety plastic chairs around a table, surrounded by shouting customers and waiters alike. He stares at the menu flattened to the table by the pane of glass and tries to decide exactly what he should order. These are foods he won’t be able to find anywhere outside Hong Kong, from garlic-fried noodles to fresh fishballs to egg custard that’s actually good, and every one of them gives him a pang of nostalgia.

  Harald is pressed up next to him, squinting at the characters. “I understand all these words separately.”

  He points at one of the dishes. “That one’s Hong Kong-style French toast. The one next to it is a, uh...” How do you translate this into English? “A toasted bun with condensed milk.”

  They place their orders soon after. It feels amazing to be able to speak Cantonese again, to be surrounded by his mother tongue like a warm blanket. The chatter of the restaurant makes him feel like a secondary school student again, having afternoon tea after a long day of class. Leon takes a sip of his creamy milk tea and indulges himself with the memories for a while. 

  His phone rings in the middle of one of Vicente’s story. He looks at his screen, rolling his eyes when he realises it’s Yao. “Hello?”

  “Ka Long! You’re back in Hong Kong now, right?”

  “Yeah. I’m coming over for dinner tonight in case you forgot.”

  “I know, I know. Did you bring that boyfriend of yours along?”

  How did Yao know he brought Harald over? Better not to question. Leon sighs. “Yes.”

  “What’s his full name?”

  “Harald Grieg.”

  “Aiyah, you brought a gwai zai home?”

  He grits his teeth. “Why does it matter if he’s a Westerner or not?”

  “No, no, it doesn’t. I’m just surprised, that’s all. What does he do for a living?”

  “He’s the head chef at the Dragon Room.”

  “Really now?” Yao says incredulously. “Very impressive. Educational background?”

  “He didn’t go to university - “

  “HE DROPPED OUT!?”

  “No, he made the decision not to go.” Leon shoots his boyfriend an apologetic look even though he knows he can’t understand the conversation. “He went to culinary school and got a diploma.”

  “Which culinary school?”

  “No clue.”

  “Okay, sure. What’s his net worth? If you don’t know, what’s his family’s?”

  “I don’t know that either.”

  “How many houses does he own?”

  Leon blinks. Only his brother would want to know his partners’ property statistics. He prods Harald. “This is a stupid question, but how many houses does your family own?”

  “There’s the house in Trondheim, which is the one my brother’s living in, and we have a summer home in Akureyri. Why do you ask?”

  “Nothing, nothing.” He parrots that information to Yao. 

  “Only two houses?” Yao repeats, disappointed. Leon resists the urge to throw his phone. “How many cars, then?”

  “One.”

  “Ugh, of course. Boats?”

  He pokes Harald again. “Another stupid question, but do you have any boats?”

  “Stellan and I have a motorboat we used to go out to sea with,” he replies. “What’s with you suddenly taking interest in the stuff I own?”

  “It’s nothing, really.” Leon pecks him on the forehead. Across the table, Ling makes a face. He tells Yao over the phone, “he has a motorboat.”

  “No yachts?”

  “No yachts,” Leon confirms. 

  There’s silence on the other side for a long time. Then Yao finally asks quietly, “so you’re dating someone with no university education, two houses, one car and only one boat?”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” He half-shouts in English. Some people from other tables turn to stare at him. “Who cares if Harald’s not a multibillionaire? I love him, and that’s that!”

  “He doesn’t even have a yacht!”

  One more comment on Harald’s lack of yachts and I will throw this phone across the room, Leon seethes internally. “Quit your judging for now. You can make up your mind when Harald comes over for dinner tonight.”

[aph-honk-kong]

Hong Kong: In my defence, I was left unsupervised.

China: You were with Macau!

Macau: In my defence, I was also left unsupervised.

[aph-honk-kong]

Police Officer: Sir, I am pulling you over because you tried to fit three people on a motorcycle.

China, with Hong Kong and Macau behind him: Wait, three?!

Police Officer: Yes, you and the two kids -

China: TAIWAN FELL OFF?!

[aph-honk-kong]

China: You lost a lot of blood and passed out. Do you remember anything?

Macau: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Taiwan: That wasn't an ambulance. I drove you there.

Macau: But I heard a siren.

China: That was Leon.

Hong Kong: I was WORRIED!

[aph-honk-kong]

The East Asians As Cat Photos

China

Macau

Hong Kong

Taiwan

Japan