#apersonwhowrites

[doueverwonder]

Hi and welcome back to dumb ideas I had at 2 am and had to write immediately: the largest argument among Spanish speaking states is actually what an avocado is called in Spanish. Gov's getting ready to ban avocados from the statehouse all together just to end the argument.

~~~~~

Why California had decided to bring Florida to the grocery store with her she would never remember, but here he was. It was Saturday afternoon and the store was packed. The fact that they even found a parking spot seemed a miracle, but there were people everywhere, the lights were buzzing adding to the sound and Cal had forgotten their damn list so it just had to try to remember everything off the top of her head. 

“Can you stop that?” California turned huffing, as Florida accidentally bumped the cart into her again because he wasn’t paying attention. 

“I’m not doing it on purpose” the smile he had however told them everything they needed to know about the truthfulness of that statement. 

It shook her head, looking at the cart trying to remember the last thing. There were too many sounds, the aisles felt narrower than usual, she could picture what she needed but couldn’t remember the word for the life of her; “We need um… the green things, they have seeds?” 

“Grapes?” Florida offered, seemingly interested by the new guessing game. 

“No, no, not seeds…” dammit why was this so hard, “pits” 

“Pagua?” 

“What?”  

“Pagua” 

California only looked more confused, “Saying it again doesn’t tell me what it is,” 

“It's um…” Florida contracted a similar look to California, trying to remember the word in English, multitasking was not his strong suit and it spread to every part of his life. He repeated the word in Spanish to himself a few times as if doing that would suddenly make him remember. 

“You forgot the word” 

“So did you, at least I remember it in one language” Florida didn’t explain where he was going taking off with the cart, California quickly following behind. 

Even though they had already been there earlier Florida headed right back to the produce section, finally spotting what he was looking for, so did California, both at the same time reading the sign and exclaiming “avocado!” 

California began what was more or less a ritual when it came to picking out ones that were close enough to being ripe she wouldn’t forget about them and let them get overripe on the counter, but also ones that weren’t so ripe it would have five minutes once it had left the store to eat it. Florida mimicked California picking one up and carefully inspecting it, he however picked up one of the aforementioned too ripe ones and accidentally squeezed too hard. He looked around quickly before putting it back and wiping the greenish-brown sludge on his pants, trying to pretend like nothing had happened. 

Cali was halfway through finding the perfect avocados when she looked up suddenly, “Wait, what did you call them?” 

“Pagua, what else would you call them?” 

“Aguacate, the right name for them.” California was usually pretty accepting of others views and opinions, what avocados were called in Spanish was however not something they would compromise on. 

“That’s subjective,” Florida was hanging off the shopping cart, California rushing just a bit more to pick them out because she knew Florida wouldn’t stop if asked and was more likely to knock over the cart then anything. 

“It's not subjective, they call them aguacate in Spain.” 

“Since when is mom the authority on the Spanish language?” California actually couldn’t argue with that, Spain had lost the rights to her own language years ago. 

For the sake of being right though… “Since she invented it?” 

“Bullshit!” Florida half yelled, Cal was somewhere between embarrassed, mostly because there were small children not far from them, and relieved because at least with that he had gotten off the side of the cart. 

“It's not bullshit, they’re called aguacate” for emphasis she waved one in the air… moments before committing the same mistake as Florida and squeezing it a little too hard. Florida laughed as she also just carefully checked for employees before returning the mangled fruit back to its spot and deciding maybe it was time to go. 

~~~~~

California was on their way up to the West floor with its groceries when it ran into someone she never would have expected to be happy to see, “Texas!” 

He stopped turning to look at her confused by the excitement, “California?” 

Florida showed up another bag in his arms, “Look Flo, you’ll see,” she set one of the bags down and dug around for a moment before pulling out an avocado, “Tex what do you call this?” 

“An avocado?” 

“In Spanish dumbass,” Florida commented, “I call it pagua, she calls it aguacate, we need you to break the tie” 

Texas looked between the two for a moment, clearly he knew it was aguacate, anyone with half a brain cell knew that. Which is why Florida didn’t know that. Of course he didn’t want California to win, but he didn’t want to look like he had less than half a brain cell either… he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, when he realized there was a way out. 

He adjusted his hat, waiting for all hell to break lose, “palta, obviously”

[apersonwhowrites]

i look at her and i feel everything i’ve never said 

[ninguitar]

꣑ৎ　────　LOVE ON A WIRE !

𝓢YNOPSIS ❛ megan has never, ever wanted anything as bad in her life, until you—an underground singer and songwriter, is unemployed, and the textbook definition of a loser—stroll into her heart and her life. matter of fact, what happens when she accidentally replies to your thirst-traps that were a rebounding joke after a rough break-up, on twitter, and on the official katseye account? ❜

STARRING.　megan skiendiel.　x　songwriter!reader.

CAST.　katseye, aespa, le sserafim, tomorrowxtogether, p1harmony ++ cameos

GENRE.　smau + written, wlw, crack, fluff, uni au, & more.

A/N.　this does not accurately portray any of the idols mentioned, so read with caution🙏 in addition, reader/yn has no race & the photos used do not portray yn. for the lore, the kpop groups mentioned will be based in california rather than south korea 💆‍♀️ ++ PROFANITY, MENTIONS OF DRINKING/DRUGS/SMOKING, & SEXUAL JOKES

NOW IN QUEUE. 　black sheep by metric ft. brie larson, infrunami by steve lacy, all i want is you by miguel ft. j. cole, she plays bass by beabadoobee, i think by tyler the creator, and all mine by brent faiyaz

PROFILES.　xXunicornlovers123Xx　,　aegyo masters

00. elon musk count ur days. 　01. LOSING MY HEARING IN MY LEFT EYE

02. 9ft tall and a feminist btw 　03. beabadoobee notice me pls

04. number one girl 　05. word on the block

06. NOT a WHORE　07. are u deaduzz

08. i want nunu 　09. mbti - fine

10. who dat in the back　11. our song btw

12. two homotrons 　13. #doomedyuri

14. fumble of the century　15. c u girl :3

16. i got that dawg in me　17. team #larayn

18. cool, no doubt.　19. day 1 of mourning my fumble

20. life is swell!　21. 50% SALE

22. flattery only gets you so far　23. happy monday

24. talk to the hand.　25. no balls

26. oh shes prob hitting it rn　27. #NewProfilePic

28. my 2 man　29. megan + yn takeover

30. scratches head　31. beyond cooked

. . . MORE TO BE ADDED

𝓽aglist (closed 46/46) :

@sed7ction @1luvkarina @ssamlovr @goofymickeyr @yeetaberry127 @urmom2314 @meganskiendielsbtc @fruityg0rl @fearnotfearmore @justtluvrr @meiyaes @sixflame438 @arihiu @vrtualstar @grahstumhurts @jaythegirlkisser @namojoon @saysirhc @gtfoiydlyj @catdonut657 @inybits @vivilvr @c-yerim @meizinisnumberone @blue-kye @linnnsworld @k31k0w @hazel-tanthamore22 @raviolisupremacy @cassiespoiler @weirdossclub @sunshinez4 @xochitlisbest @ratzeye @meiphobic @soobnotfound @kristalag @snoopyiz @itzkatflixs @spongebobtentacles @mirophobic @apersonwhowrites @bowforgodjihyo @mandydxndy @chuugetmesohigh @karli6

[cindergorge]

𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗘𝗬𝗘𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗟𝗬 | 𝗦. 𝗟𝗔𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗧𝗘𝗭𝗔

Sophia left her old school to start a new life, to start writing a new page in her book and leave all the mistakes in the past. What happens when the most precious thing she lost because of those same mistakes comes rushing back into her life, but not for the reasons she hoped for.

𝗣𝗔𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚: sophia laforteza x f!reader

𝗙𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚: le sserafim (yunjin), aespa (karina), katseye and etc.

𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗦: on going

𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧: open

𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘𝗦:

dumb, dumber & the dumbest | yap squad, yap squad 2.5

𝟬𝟭: it's been a long time coming.....

𝟬𝟮: when the gang get tgt

𝟬𝟯: who went this hard on you

𝟬𝟰: who?

𝟬𝟱: would never do ts to pookie

𝟬𝟲: HOW TF

𝟬𝟳: WHO YOU TRYNA GASLIT

𝟬𝟴: no I'm just surprised

𝟬𝟵: what can I say

𝟭𝟬: y'all been talking crazy abt me

𝟭𝟭: FUCK MY LIFE

𝟭𝟮: she's my favorite child

𝟭𝟯: stalker much?

𝟭𝟰: i said quit acting dumb

𝟭𝟱: LARA YOU DUMB BITCH

𝟭𝟲: it's so about her

𝟭𝟳: GFYS

𝟭𝟴: WHAT

𝟭𝟵: W mindset

𝟮𝟬: sweetheart

𝟮𝟭: perfect

𝟮𝟮: no promises

™𝗖𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗚𝗢𝗥𝗚𝗘 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱.

𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧: @sunshinez4, @itzkatflixs, @harajukub4rb1e @iisayfa, @jaythegirlkisser, @yeetaberry127, @goofymickeyr, @hydrardz, @falling-intoo-deep, @mei2yok, @arihiu, @zindoriyo, @kristalag, @saysirhc, @fruityg0rl, @xochitlisbest, @tormaa1, @apersonwhowrites, @vvyuqi, @yjiminswallet, @cceanvvaves, @micaluvssoccer, @kkoga, @linnnsworld, @haerinkisser, @mirophobic, @erraticwritterz, @takuhg, @d1spact,

[cinnamanz]

# MAMMA MIA — chapter four!

there’s always been one rule in the group: don’t bring up y/n. no one really knows why, but it’s clear sophia would rather leave her ex-best friend in the past. once inseparable, their friendship dissolved after a summer camp that no one talks about, and y/n vanished, moving god-knows-where without so much as a goodbye. some say it was a fight. others say it was something more. only sophia knows the truth—or maybe not even she does. now, as the third year at dream academy begins, sophia is blindsided by y/n's unexpected return. gone is the familiar, easygoing childhood bestfriend she remembers. in her place is someone sharper, colder, and—unfortunately for sophia—hotter than ever. (who gave her the permission to look so fine?)

TYING THE NOOSE AS WE SPEAK

masterlist ✮⋆｡˚📽️ next

@zindoriyo @goofymickeyr @saysirhc @kathleenmikaelson @soobnotfound @jjjaliyah @meganskiendielsbtc @magixpracticality @phamapple @sed7ction @1luvkarina @linnnsworld @hotluvlet @bauzer @saranglasses @kkoga @chaesitonmyface @arihiu @peanutbutterlover05 @kristalag @ssamlovr @sunshinez4 @meiyaes @solentient @jsxjmn @reey0w @vrtualstar @justtluvrr @fruityg0rl @cyberbonesworld @danisluvv @haerinkisser @lafortezalover @cassiespoiler @skz-xii @ninguitar @kimminjswife @yeetaberry127 @p1hbrook @hazel-tanthamore22 @caitlynglazer @minjvers @tormaa1 @nwjnsloona @itzkatflixs @namojoon @falling-intoo-deep @waitsobs @nyssalvr @blushmimi @wtfisthisnoclueman @taikabui @apersonwhowrites @cceanvvaves @fillthwvoid @c-yerim [IM SO SORRY FOR THE UNTAGGED ACCOUNTS, ITS PAST THE 50 TAG LIMIT] TAGLIST CLOSED.

[waitsobs]

THE LONG GAME ⋆˚࿔ chapter sixteen!

When popular actress y/n l/n's private account gets exposed, it is revealed that she has a crush on one of the girls from the girl group katseye. y//n tries to de-escalate the situation, but makes it worse, and loses her chance with the girl. The only way she think of winning the girl over is by playing the long game. 

UNBLOCKED AND TEASING

masterlist ⭑.ᐟ next

Taglist: @saysirhc @urmom2314 @artrizzler19 @yeetaberry127 @yjiminswallet @lara4eclipze @meiphobic @meizinisnumberone @meganskiendielsbtc @soobnotfound @linnnsworld @1luvkarina @raviolisupremacy @peranoo @vrtualstar @ssamlovr @gtfoiydlyj @firstclassjaylee @kristalag @xochitlisbest  @yazzyminny @esccecvp @snoopyiz @vivilvr @fearnotfearmore @apersonwhowrites @blushmimi | TAGLIST CLOSED

[ao3feed-bamon]

Come As You Are

by apersonwhowrites

Bonnie Bennett has decided to take her life into her own hands. She won't let her parents make decisions about her future any longer. She only wishes that they felt the same way, but - unfortunately - they hate the ones she's made so far. It creates a rift between them: Bonnie vs. Abby and Rudy, and she's outnumbered. And while she and Damon are determined to persevere despite the odds, the stress of their circumstances aren't helping them any. But Bonnie has faith, but sometimes, she finds herself wondering if it's enough. And with limited options, she is unsure of what's worse: trying to rebuild bridges that were burned or refusing to trust the people that can help her. IAnd while her heart tells her not to place trust in those who hurt her, she knows that her feelings aren't the most important factor anymore.

Words: 3991, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: The Vampire Diaries (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Bonnie Bennett, Damon Salvatore, Elena Gilbert, Stefan Salvatore, Caroline Forbes, Original Characters

Relationships: Bonnie Bennett/Damon Salvatore, Elena Gilbert/Stefan Salvatore

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/26245255 via AO3 works tagged 'Bonnie Bennett/Damon Salvatore' https://archiveofourown.org/works/26245255

[doueverwonder]

The Mid-West have an intervention for Illinois because they think NY and Cali are abusing him financially by being strict with his finances. Illinois confuses them by crying "Finally! Please tell them to let me buy my own stuff! I have money they won't let me spend 😭"

I'm sorry but I laughed so hard at this ask I had to write it:

Tw for mentions of abuse but nothing is actually happening ✌️ (<- vaguely funny that is the second time i've used that warning for a fic)

~~~~

Illinois dropped his backpack to be able to take his shoes off, if anything was going to drive Minnesota to murder it would be someone in the house with their shoes on. He had been spending most of his time on the West and Northeast floors due to his boyfriends--and more importantly both of them half refusing to step foot on the Midwest floor anymore--but after this trip to Upstate NY with them he was ready to be back in his own bed.

He picked his bag back up, opening the door past the mudroom calling out: "I'm home!"

He didn't actually expect a response, it was more a warning lest he scare anyone then anything else. What he didn't expect was everyone sitting in the living room, the tv was paused and all eyes went to him. Great, what had he done this time? Ever since he had refused to go to Gov's 'big five', or whatever he was calling them now, meetings and lost the Midwest seat to Louisiana of all people it had seemed easier for them to find reasons to be upset at him.

"Hello?" He said a little more confused, any region being all together just casually was rare this wasn't any different. He looked at the scene on the tv, "Oh god, what blackmail does Indy have to get you all to watch more parks and rec?"

No one laughed.

"Nothing," Ohio finally spoke, "We were just hanging out and it's what she wanted to watch" He hesitated before asking, "How are California and New York?"

"They're good" He sat down in a chair across from the couch, shrugging and joking, "Maybe if you all hadn't scared them off they would come here more"

"We were nothin' but nice to them" Missouri defended, "Ain't our fault they don't like coming around"

"yeah that's what scared them" he pulled his knees up to his chest, "But yeah, no, yeah they're good, doing well. I had fun, I like upstate it's quiet..." he trailed off awkwardly.

No ones eyes moved off him, no one said anything else either, he laughed a little bit; "everything okay? Someone die while I was gone?"

"No... no" Indiana said something after but was too quiet to be heard, stuttering over the words.

"For goodness sake, we're worried about you Illinois" Michigan said what everyone was thinking, the reason they were all here together.

This confused Illinois even more than the already odd behavior: "worried? why?"

"I'm not" Wisconsin raised his hand, "Can I leave?"

Minnesota hushed him, going as far as to grab his hand and put it down; "Just how you talk about New York and California sometimes makes us worry they're...." He trailed off looking for a gentle way to phrase it but coming up empty.

"controlling your finances?" Kansas offered, everyone nodding in agreement.

"Exactly! Thank you, Kansas...and if they're making it so you're entirely dependent on them then--"

Every expression in the room went from worried to confused as Illinois just started laughing, "I'm not dependent on them, they just won't let me spend my own money because... I don't know why frankly," he stood picking up his backpack and slowly, backing his way towards his bedroom, "Thanks for the concern, really, but I have full access to all my bank accounts California and New York are just... idiots"

[doueverwonder]

I wrote Penn being a good dad if anyone cares

[doueverwonder]

I silly lil fic CalIlliYork thing I wrote a few days ago, someone get Cal an acting job before she actually commits murder.

[doueverwonder]

Federal meetings were…Gov searched for the right word, they were less chaotic, but their size made up for it. Between the cabinet, the agencies, the branches, Supreme Court and the Judges, plus anyone else you could think of there were easily over five hundred people in the room compared to the fifty-five to fifty-six that came with State and Territory Meetings.  “How are you holding up?” Gov jumped as DC appeared behind him. District of Columbia was the only personification Gov knew of in the US to represent something on both a federal and non-federal level, so he showed up to both. He also knew Gov arguably hated Federal meetings more then State & Territory meetings, at least states and territories would tell him to his face that they hated him and not just make snide remarks behind his back.

new wttt fic idea :D

[doueverwonder]

Merry Crisis :D May I request a lil snippet of Maine and Mass attempting to help Loui survive the winter? :3

don’t feel forced to btw!! and have a happy holiday!

it accidentally turned into a Mass Lore dump sorry :(

besides that enjoy :3

~~~~~

“You really didn’t bring anything?” Maine opened his closet, squinting at the few clothes of his that stayed at Massachusetts house in contemplation. 

“Forgot it’d be cold” 

“It’s January Loui”

“And at home it’s warm, Cadia” 

Maine went digging through the back of the closet towards the things he didn’t wear often thinking it more likely to find something Louisiana could borrow. There was stomping up the stairs, Massachusetts appeared in the doorway, already in his coat and shoes.

“Are we ready?”

“Loui doesn’t have any warm clothes” Maine beat Louisiana to the punch of informing Mass of his folly, Massachusetts didn’t say anything but gave Loui a scalding glare, clearly very ready to leave. 

“Oh what about this!” Maine held up a bright blue sweater, it looked way too big for him anyway, and truthfully he couldn’t remember where it came from. He might just let Loui keep it. 

“Its colorful” Was all Massachusetts said, deterring the line between neutral statement and insult. 

“Ignore him” Maine went back to digging through the closet to find a shirt to go under the sweater, “Mass doesn’t like fun clothes its the puritan in him” 

Massachusetts had already left the room but was close enough to hear, yelling from down the hall “Say that about me again and you’ll get to find out how much of that god shit was real!” 

Louisiana laughed at the statement, “You interested in meetin’ Saint Pierre?” 

“It's that or I stop teasing him and we both know which I’m picking” that comment elicited more laughter. 

It didn’t last long though, the wind howled outside and Louisiana out of habit pulled the throw blanket he had stolen from the downstairs couch that morning closer around his shoulders; “Mais, would it kill Mass t’turn the heat up?” 

“It might, something possesses him when anyone touches the thermostat” That… Louisiana didn’t laugh at, pretty sure the itch on the back of his neck the night before was the cities messing with the one at home. Maine must’ve caught the silence, “What does the same happen to you?” 

“The ac costs money, can’t have kids messin’ with it all the time” 

He shook his head, “I would never let my babies freeze” 

“You don’t have kids, sha” 

“Laska and I have dogs”

“Different.”

“Is it really?” 

“Yes!” Massachusetts reappeared in the doorway, throwing a pair of pants and a long sleeve t-shirt at Louisiana, “Very different, can you two hurry the fuck up?” 

Maine set the sweater down, “We’re going, Lou you can change in here I’ll go find you a coat” 

“A’right” He started to change, but almost tripped over his pant leg when hearing the conversation right outside the door; 

“My coats won’t fit him!” Maine argued, 

“And mine will?” Mass sounded just as if not more confused, “I’m not that much bigger than you” 

“You are in some areas” He grumbled the last bit as if it was supposed to be internal. 

“The fuck does that mean?” 

“It means Penn doesn’t like you for your personality! Can he just borrow a coat?” 

“Fine!” Massachusetts stomped back down the stairs, Loui was convinced he just liked to make as much noise as possible whenever he could. 

He changed and went downstairs, trying to pull the sweater on while walking down the stairs and earning a string of curses from Mass ending with: “If you fall and break your neck I won’t take you to the ER” 

Maine and Louisiana really loved Mass’ way of showing he cared about them and didn’t want them to get hurt. Louisiana stopped on a step and put the sweater on the rest of the way, holding his arms out to show Mass it was on. The other just huffed and told him to hurry again. 

“Brown jacket with a hood by the back door you can wear that one” Mass called without really paying attention and almost running into Maine whose arms were full. 

“Where are you going?” Maine dropped the pile of gloves, scarves and hats he had collected on the table.

“Outside for a smoke?” Mass said it like Maine was dumb for even asking, 

“I thought we were in a hurry?” 

“I have time to smoke, just like we have time to stop for coffee” He shut the door behind him, Loui momentarily contemplating the consequences of going out after him for the same reason. Maine might kill him considering he had promised him he was going to try and quit. He would just stay inside and find time in a bit. 

Figuring out a hat and scarf were easy, what Maine had realized was going to take twenty years was sifting through Massachusett’s box of gloves to find a single matching pair that would actually fit Loui. There was a surprising number of gloves meant for kids for the fact that all of Mass’s kids were adults. 

“Loui, did Mass get grandkids when I wasn’t looking?” He tossed another pair to the side, that was four now. 

“Nottinghamshire makes ‘em” Loui started helping Maine go through the pile, “Mass was telling me last night after you went to bed she wants to try to have a relationship with him and his kids, but she um…” 

Maine sighed, not looking up from the pile, “Nevermind, Mass already told me.” 

Lincolnshire and Nottinghamshire were Massachusetts parents, in a sense, relationships with their kind were always murky and this one was just a bit more than most. Maine had never met them, Mass didn’t talk to his parents. After centuries of not taking a call from Lincolnshire, from his father, came out of nowhere; he claimed he had no interest in trying to fix their relationship but Nottinghamshire wanted to meet her grandkids. 

Massachusetts had told him if she wanted to meet them so badly she could call herself, and hung up without another word. Weeks passed before another call came, this time before anything else his father quickly explaining that she wasn’t all there anymore, not memory wise, had convinced herself Mass was still a young man with young children. He wasn’t going to beg him to do anything but if he would consider visiting. Maine had been there for that conversation, and if Massachusetts was anything like his father Maine knew there was more than a fair share of pride being set aside just to ask that; Mass’ reaction showed it better than anything. 

Mass had visited alone, but hadn’t taken the cities with yet. Maine had picked him up from the airport when he got home, he didn’t ask how the trip went, Mass didn’t tell him how it went. Well, he supposed, packages had started showing up at Mass’ house just a couple weeks later, things his mother was sure they still couldn’t get in the colonies and so much knitwear, mostly gloves and scarves, almost everything except for a couple things, sized for children. Now that he thought about it… that’s where the sweater Louisiana was wearing had come from. 

The door opened, Louisiana shivering again at the cold air coming in with Mass, “Are you ready?” 

Louisiana finally found two gloves that matched–or were close enough, one was dark blue and one was black but no one paid that much attention– “Just getting my coat on,” 

“Hurry, I wanna stop for coffee” 

“You have an addiction” Maine huffed from his seat at the table pulling his boots on. 

“You don’t want coffee?” it wasn’t a question, it was a threat to not get him any. 

“I said you have an addiction. I didn't say anything about me.” 

Louisiana shook his head following them out, bracing for the cold, it was going to be a fun day dealing with these two in public.

[doueverwonder]

Gov was prepared for a lot of things when it came to table meetings, not this though. Couldn't he just have one normal day? (aka hws america gets tossed into the wttt universe they don't know how he got there, but lets introduce him to the states while Gov tries to figure out how to get him back)

Come get y'alls juice

[doueverwonder]

I got the idea for this dumb little fic literally half an hour ago so here u go; Virginia is the mom friend against her own will she didn't sign up for this. Pre the fic Mass tried to call Maine first but Maine was fast asleep already and didn't pick up ✌️

ao3 link

~~~~~

Being the designated driver had very few perks and far too many responsibilities, the top one being keep an eye on the people you were driving for who in this case happened to be the rest of the Thirteen; she was just supposed to drive PA home and make sure the rest got cabs to wherever they needed to be, that was it. Simple enough. But she lost them, she searched the bar they had been at, combed every bar and club in walking distance, even went up to random people asking if they had seen a rowdy group of around twelve people, three women, nine men, an aura of dumbassery. The car was still here, she was sitting on the hood staring at her phone, she had tried all twelve twice and nothing, she made sure they all had their ringers on but it was probably a combination of died and couldn’t hear over music. 

There was a long moment of consideration about going home, maybe for once in their lives they were responsible for themselves and had gotten a ride home, more likely they were still wandering somewhere having a good time entirely forgetting Virginia was ever with them. She stared at her lock screen for another moment before deciding waiting any longer wouldn’t magically make them turn up. She wasn’t in charge of them anymore, if anything happened it was Gov’s responsibility not hers, she had done what she could. Unfortunately, just as she came to peace with this decision her phone rang, it was an unknown number but she answered anyway. It was probably one of them calling from a payphone. 

“Hello?”  

“Hi, it's Georgia.” Despite her peace with the decision, she sighed relieved that at least from his voice over the phone he seemed unhurt. 

“oh thank god, I didn't know where y'all had gone and…” Virginia stopped, momentarily suspicious, at some of the eerily familiar background noise. “Wait, where are you calling from?”

There was a long moment of hesitation on the other side of the phone before, “what answer’ll make ya the least angry?” 

Virginia groaned, getting off the hood of the car and getting in turning it on, already knowing the answer. “Anywhere but jail” 

Another long moment of silence, “now don't be angry.” 

“who all is there with you?” She pulled out of the parking spot, heading towards her educated guess of which station they were at. 

Georgia tried to brush it off with an unworried grumble of not that many of us, followed with a full volume “just the Carolina's, Delaware, Maryland, PA, New York, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island and New Hampshire. We don't know where Jersey is.” 

Of course, of course it would be too convenient for all of them to be arrested and in one spot to make it easy to come get them. She wouldn’t put being halfway across the country past Jersey, he moved fast when he wanted to. 

She set the phone in her lap putting it on speaker, last thing she needed was to be pulled over now. “What did all y’all do to get yourselves locked up?” 

“When you went to use the bathroom Rhode started a fight, we were just going to get kicked out but then York threatened the bartender on the way out, Mass and Conn lied about being lawyers, PA impersonated a cop, Mary lied about being pregnant, Delaware faked a heart attack, and Jersey stole a car. Took the rest of us because we were all together causing trouble by that point” 

Virginia had to resist banging her head into the wheel, settling instead for the trademark tired mom sigh (or at least that's what other states claimed it sounded like), she knew they would make her explain it all to Gov even if she hadn’t been there.

“I’m on my way, don’t let PA get in another fight before I get there, we're all going to look for Jersey after” 

“Yes ma’am,” with that the phone hung up, either the time was out or Georgia just hadn’t bothered with saying goodbye. 

Virginia had asked once why Georgia always was the one to call when they all got in trouble, Mass claimed it was because he was the youngest, she had the freshest memory of his innocent little face making it more likely that she would come get them if he called. It was pure manipulation. She was mad it worked.

[doueverwonder]

PruCan 🥹?

Julchen is dramatic & lucky Maddie puts up with her shit/aff

[doueverwonder]

Happy Chrism!! 🎄🫶

it’s Chrism!! I offer an IreMano gift.