#anyways. my little mod beast <3< /div>
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Lalapril Day 16: Fathom
maiden of the deep ✨
#ffxiv gpose#gposers#lalafell#lalapril#🐙jelili#NNNOOOOO JELLYFISH EMOJI DOESNT WORK ON HEEEERE#anyways. my little mod beast <3
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MODERN ADAPTATION BRACKET WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT POST!!!
We have finished another tournament (or rather, two mini-tournaments!) Thank you guys for another great one, the results really surprised me this time around!! I apologize for deciding not to hold a Loser's Bracket & Mod's Choice poll this time around, but both will be back for the next tournament.
Before we go into the winners, however, I want to say that this blog is officially a year old! I opened submissions for our first tournament, Red Riding Poll, on July 26th of 2023, and the first rounds of the poll came in the early days of August 2023! Since then, we have hosted 4 tournaments (Red Riding Poll, Cinder Poll, Little Merpoll, & Modern Adaptation Brackets) and it's truly been a great experience! I can't wait to see how many more brackets we will do in the future :)
Okay, onward to the winners!
We will start with the Best Modern Bracket. The quarterfinalists for that one were Once Upon a Time and The Sisters Grimm! Once Upon a Time has been a decisive pick, being both on the Best and Worst brackets, but since it only placed in the Best bracket it must have some merit to it! :) As for the Sisters Grimm, it was definitely a popular choice and probably would've won the whole bracket if it did not have to go against the eventual first-place winner/that said first-place winner wasn't in the tournament. I've never read it, but if I were to give "fan favorite" award for this bracket it would definitely win it. Congratulations to fans of both of these fairytale crossover series for the bronze medal!
The semifinalists of the Best Modern Bracket was Hook! This is another one that I haven't watched, but Robin Williams' old movies are definitely great nostalgic picks (RIP). Though technically Peter Pan isn't a fairytale, I think that it is often listed with them enough that it should count, so congrats to Hook for carrying that win!
Finally, the winner of the Best Modern Bracket was none other than the magical girl classic, Princess Tutu!!! This is one of my favorite anime series that I don't see often, so I was more than surprised to see it not only submitted but win (and by a lot, too! It practically swept every poll it went against, even things like Ponyo which I really thought was going to carry the win due to how universally loved it is!) A delightful series that definitely deserves the love, I couldn't be happier to see that this little duck made it all the way to the gold <3
Applaud to the Best Modern Bracket winners!!! Now, get ready to point and laugh at the Worst Modern Bracket winners!!! (Or losers, in a way, if you think about it). Okay, but in all seriousness, if you like any of these listed for the Worst Modern Bracket, try not to take offense! This is all in good fun :)
The quarterfinalists for the Worst Modern Bracket were Avalon High and Sydney White! Sydney White was one of those that were in both brackets, but it only ranked in the Worst one. As for Avalon High, I have been told that the dislike for this one was more so for it being a bad book-to-movie adaptation, which is interesting to hear. Anyway, I haven't watched either, so I have no witty comments.
For the semifinalist, we have Hooked! Another Peter Pan adaptation in the 2nd place, go figure... Well, I feel as if this book was more well-known, it could've gone to #1 as people tended to have a lot of strong feelings on this. I admit, the summary doesn't make it sound too appealing to me... well, here it is with the silver for that!
The winner was obvious to me as soon as the bracket started. And I was right on the money, for none other than Beastly got the winning title of the Worst Modern Bracket! It has all the pitfalls of bad Beauty and the Beast adaptations that I've noticed and it's certainly quite infamous (especially after the Jenny Nicholson video)! I distinctly remember seeing the commercials for it on TV when I was a kid and thinking "that movie looks weird... is that what teens like?" Apparently not, since it didn't do so well! Nobody deserves the honor of being called the Worst Modern Bracket like this movie, good job!
aaaannnnndddd that's it for the modern bracket polls! Thank you everyone who participated. Our next tournament as voted on by you guys will be Best Fairy Godmother. I don't have a figure of when I will open submissions, but I would say at least two weeks. See you then! <3 <3 <3
#long post#best modern bracket#worst modern bracket#modern fairytale adaptation polls#winner#once upon a time#the sisters grimm#hook#princess tutu#sydney white#avalon high#hooked#beastly
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Anybody wanna hear my headcanon for what exactly the fuck BigB is?
To bad you're hearing it anyways <3
Under the cut because I tend to ramble, but TLDR: Living liminal space gains a human form because it permakilled people a bit too often.
BigB's first form was originally made as a modded world made up of several layers of liminal spaces, with each layer being more and more unsettling and disturbing. The world was created as an escape room type mini game, but this plan was scrapped after a beast that seemed to connect to the world itself started spawning. A beast that was never coded in, despite the attraction's name.
You see, the world was angry that it had no purpose besides to unsettle players. That people could walk all over it with no worries for their safety after a while, that it would be destroyed with no warning and it could do nothing. So, it took control of its own code and created a monster to chase the players out. It didn't mean to permakill them, just to get them to stay away.
But, plans were made to shut down the world anyways. There were to many permadeaths that were promised wouldn't happen, it was too big a risk to keep open. And the world felt itself be deleted. It felt itself be torn apart to stop existing. So, it gathered all of its strength and, the beast as a base, transferred its AI into a human form.
This form had no name until it learned that its world used to be called 'Escape the Big Beast Labyrinth'. Big Beast, or BigB for short, decided it was a fitting name.
Extra info:
BigB kinda had to learn how to be a human. he may have failed for a while
Also BigB uses he/it pronouns, with no preference between the two
BigB actually has a small chance to open a portal to a dimension very similar to his original form every time it opens a door. Luckily it hasn't happened on a public server yet (those cobble backrooms feel familiar. wandering around in them might not be the best idea)
When back in his original dimension, BigB is typically thrown into its beast form. In this form, BigB is connected to the world itself and struggles to remember what has happened in its human(ish) form.
(he's completely alone when this happens. the world is destroyed and no records of it exists. he is left to roam the empty halls as long as it takes to remember who it is)
It often forgets little things about being human (blinking, moving limbs in the correct ways, etc)
He feels really guilty about permakilling players before it had a human form, and that's one of the reasons it decided to rule the Speakers as a peaceful ruler.
If anybody were to find out about his other form without BigB telling them, it would probably be Etho, Skizz, or Grian. Martyn is only absent from that list due to Martyn also not exactly knowing how humans work for different reasons
BigB doesn't tell the others about its past due to how... different it is. While the others sometimes have weird backstories, nothing really comes close to BigB.
(the others wouldn't really care if they found out btw)
#trafficblr#(because references to secret life)#bigb#bigbstatz#bigbst4tz2#secret life smp#traffic series#i've watched too many myhouse.wad video essays and then watched a few backrooms in minecraft videos#that might be how this headcanon was created
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🖌, 📺, and 🍂 for the ask game?
HELLO! Richard 🐔 welcome to the askbox thunderdome 🌩️⚡. Thank you for sending me this ask I have appreciated it greatly to be asked these emoji questions :~)
🖌 - Do you have/want any tattoos? Yes, I have two tattoos. One is of a wasp on my shoulder/back that I got when I was 17 (regret, mostly, want to get this covered up ASAP), and my other one is a Sunrise/Sunset over the ocean with a palm tree in the foreground that I got when I was 19, on my right bicep. I won't post a picture but here's a drawing of them. The wasp was because I wanted a tattoo so bad so bad so bad so my mom hooked me up with a tattooist who happened to live down the street from us... I don't like it because it's just, very small, on the large expanse of my back, right next to some cigarette burn scars??? it just feels. out of place... The sunset was because @parasitefun and I had made life plans to live together within like, two months of us talking, and the original plan was for Florida. Because we met thru the Hotline Miami fandom, and also there was this band I was obsessed with that originated in Tampa and this article I read about them made it seem so romantically warm and humid and hazy... gosh. So the same tattooist who did my wasp also did my sunrise. It's not nearly this vibrant IRL because she was doing my work directly on my skin, and at the time I was only working in watercolor?! so it actually looks faded as fuck 😭 but other than maybe touching it up, I want to retain the meaning and build around it. my favoritest part has to be the lines in between, they're really broken up like that so the skin shows through!!!
as for if I want any more tattoos, yes, of course I do! I want more tattoos every day, but I've gotten more picky in the past few years... I can't really decide on any one design, and Parasite has been the sole earner for our entire relationship >_< so there's not usually any fun money set aside for things like body mods, unfortunately. Here's a design I've wanted since 2016- it's the cover art for Oneohtrix Point Never's "Garden of Delete" which is one of the only things that saved me that year ;_;
This morning I read an article about how heatwaves affect Train Tracks, which for some reason I can't find the article now but I'll try to find it later, but anyways heat causes train tracks to "buckle" which is just ludicrous to me, I had no idea, very terrifying. Railways are beasts... so beautiful... so feral... augh.
youtube
^aspd mantra.
so anyways, then I fell into a 3hour nap and woke up to the sound of Parasite cooking dinner/lunch (pork chops n rice a roni), banging the spatula against the pot <3. And the first mental image that came to mind was of a tattoo design for a buckled rail, as a metaphor for having a hard time with your body, and doing what you're supposed to do especially when under heat and stress >_< cripple metaphorz, I guess...
📺 - Favourite show? This has been answered here:
🍂 - What’s your favourite season? ah god.... oh fuck.... *falls over and clutches my chest and sobs and weeps*
I'll attempt to keep this a little short, but mainly: my system is so fragmented, so compartmentalized and so blacked out of Sense Memories, and seasons are senses. My mom has bipolar (or schizoaffective bipolar, or Sadistic Personality Disorder + HPD + ASPD, or god knows what else) and Seasonal Affective Disorder, and I ended up with Seasonal Affective as well v_v I think most people end up with a Strong Sense Memory attached to, usually, only one season, usually Winter or Summer... that's at least what I see most often when people talk about it, if they talk about it at all, but I ended up with serious trauma that seemed intrinsically linked to each of the Seasonal Changes 😓 It doesn't help that I'm exquisitely sensitive to temperature/air pressure changes, and I'm more or less "severely" agoraphobic both on a physical level (outside is way too large) and on a mental level (i am so small and there are so many people out there, people who can and will stare at me, and the architecture, oh god!)...
I have a lot of good memories attached to each season, and a lot of bad memories as well... so I guess it's more about the minute moments contained within each swirling maelstrom of seasons. Going out to the city with my mom in late October on an unusually crisp, sunny day so I'm sweating under my leather jacket but the air is stinging my face. Laying down on the concrete in the middle of the road in early March, feeling the sun on my eyes. That first breath of fascination upon waking up to the first snowy morning, at any point in Winter, except for most of my life I lived in Washington so, sometimes there wouldn't even be snow :/ These are flash in the pan memories that stick out like little shimmering crystals in a sea of lead and blood.
Most of my positive associations with seasons also has to do with how nature changes alongside with it, seeing the trees die and regrow, rain falling or sun shining or clouds moving, animals present or not, etc... it's all very magical and wondrous. Listening to birdsong calms me down, and it's one of my nicer hallucinations usually when I'm awake in the early morning hours... god there is nothing better than being awake at 4am in the middle of summer and seeing the very first slivers of sunlight followed by birds waking up 🐦🦆🕊️🌅
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I FOUND KARLACH I FOUND HER I FOUND HER I FOUND HER HI ITS THE KARLACH ANON IM DONE BEING ON ANON MY WIFFEEE MYWIFWMY WIFE
im normal for Now i found her anf instantly swapped laezel out for her i lovesies her so much mwahmwahmwah.... worried for what the dark urge will do 4 the story and i cant wait..
anyways for the version thing im not gonna mess w appearance edit until i can get a legal copy- dont have the money rn so ill have to wait a little until i can import my save over ^u^
OH also this is the only pic of her i have rn but my tav serves so much cunt
also please god semd the links for easier fights shadowheart is STRUGGLING ‼️‼️
WAAAA I LOVE HER AND HER HORNS ARE SO COOL !!!!!!!!!!! ALSO OHHHHHH MY GOD YOU'RE DOING THE DARK URGE?? that's very big brained of you, good luck <3
i think if you get karlach first you just gotta long rest to See. What Happens. :) he'll come find you.
high rec the double XP version of this mod -- basically you level up twice as fast. so you're always over-leveled and have way more HP and resources so you can often breeze through fights, and it'll take you to level 20 with spell slots so you can upcast spells and don't have to multiclass. i personally also use basket full of equipment bc it has some absolutely cunty outfits but ALSO has some cheat rings that give you unlimited v powerful spells or, like +4 AC, or +6 to all abilities, etc. (which is great for ability checks also).
karlach + shadowheart + astarion + warlock tav (?) sounds like great party comp !!! imo shadowheart doesn't SUPER come online until level 5 when she can cast spirit guardians + spiritual weapon. at that point she's an absolute beast. also her subclass (trickery) is more geared around sneakin' and stealthin'. i'm an idiot who runs headfirst into everything, and if you are also like that, it may be worth it to respec her into a different domain -- war cleric is my favorite (heavy armor and poor man's extra attack)! i know people also reclass her to paladin -- i personally make wyll my paladin because everything about that man screams oath of devotion.
and i know i was confused when i first started playing, but despite what the game tells you, there is *NO* consequence for taking long rests and supplies are absolutely everywhere. i hit act 3 with like 2000 camping supplies. make sure ur tav gets her beauty sleep <3
#WAHOO!! YIPPEE!!! i think we live in different timezones -- soz for not seeing this until just now!#carly.txt
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Tumblr doesn’t want me to ask my question - this is my fifth try. The other four times the app crashed before I could send the question…
Anyway, I have a question about matching and the summary:
Last year you had a lot of questions on the sign-up process that were for matching people up, this year you use the summary if I understood correctly. This also has the consequence that as an author I have to know a lot sooner exactly what I want to write! So what happens if I decide to write something different than what I sent as summary?
Also:
what kind of summary do you want? Bullet points? A draft of the whole fic? Two sentences and a short dialogue that captures a scene I might not even use for the finished piece? Something else?
(And yes I do struggle with AO3-summaries… I normally just take a few lines from the fic)
Hi! First, thanks for your perseverance!
Second, you are correct - we’re changing how we match people up this year! If you decide to write something different from your summary, that’s fine. Ideally, authors will take the next 3 weeks to find an idea they’re really loving and send that info in for their summary and everything will be smooth sailing. 😎 But we get that sometimes the muse is a fickle beast!
Let’s say that you binge watch Yellowjackets, or Hannibal, and are gripped by the need to tell a story involving cannibalism. You and I both know that not everyone is going to be into, or even alright with, cannibalism (which… yeah, fair). This is where the communication with your partner comes in! Talk to them and let them know what’s up. If they’re not on board with the change, please reach out to the event mods (via email, the ask box, or even individually) and we’ll get it sorted out. If we need to do some partner switcheroos, then that’s what we gotta do! But don’t stress about it, because we’ll figure it out. ☺️
Third, for the summary we want, just a short paragraph is fine. Bullet points definitely work too. If all you have is vibes, give us that! If you know (or even strongly suspect) that you’ll be writing something that will require an Archive Warning (MCD, non-con, etc.), that is extremely useful info to include. Basically, how are you (very simply) describing this fic to your best fandom friend? Are there any major themes or major warnings that would be relevant? We definitely don’t need a full draft, but just a little hook or elevator pitch is perfect.
I hope that answered every part of your question! If not, though, please reach out again. 🤗
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I posted 493 times in 2022
That's 493 more posts than 2021!
88 posts created (18%)
405 posts reblogged (82%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@oc-cafe
@jewishdainix
@desifandom
@ghostdragoncookiept2
@stressedsnake
I tagged 220 of my posts in 2022
#the royalty representation project - 34 posts
#mod sam✨ - 34 posts
#mod 🔥 - 33 posts
#mod sam - 16 posts
#aditi the desi disney princess - 15 posts
#mod🔥 - 14 posts
#mod ares - 13 posts
#original character - 12 posts
#aditi boundless - 11 posts
#mod sam ✨ - 10 posts
Longest Tag: 98 characters
#once again sorry for disturbing you all my moots are indian so i didn't really know where to start
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
i made this on a browser program on a dell laptop yall BETTER appreciate it
one of these couples is canon'nt
anywAY HAPPY PRIDE MONTH
Taglist (Ask to add):
@minaglobe
@thisismisogynoir for daraja, lemme know if you want me to remove
50 notes - Posted June 3, 2022
#4
TW/CW: Body Horror, Swearing, All Caps, Bold/Italicised text; for the story: Death and Bloodshed
Ah, Nelaghati, the most charming kingdom in the world! Its splendorous architecture, natural beauty, easy-going (for the most part) populace, benevolent rulers, shape-shifting yuvrajnee- wait a minute.
Aditi, the ‘yuvrajnee’ or crown princess of the kingdom of Nelaghati, leads a normal (see: boring) life. Each day like the list, threatening to drown her in its monotonous repetition, keeping her well within the limits of what she could accomplish, of what she wanted to accomplish.
So when she finds something that might break her from this tedious routine, well, who is she to refuse?
But is this newfound power really all it’s cracked up to be?
Coming Soon!
~~~
Remember Aditi? Take a little refresher if you don’t. We’re giving her her own story, and the first chapter should come out soon if everything goes smoothly, so stay tuned!
And for those wondering why I didn’t include the shape-shifting in the trailer, well, the trailer was more of an on-the-spot thing. And yes, the beast was created to get a what-the-fuck reaction. Would you pet it?
61 notes - Posted May 25, 2022
#3
I PRESENT TO YOU
the main cast. because i need to finish the story but i'm also a chronic procrastinator so RIP
First up, Princess Daraja Adesina!!!
You know her and you love her!!! Please welcome our main character!!
she/her
Daraja is our main character, one of the most resourceful and curious people from our story and I think she's really cool! Let us know what you think!
Okay next up from the land, is of course the wonderful Eren Abbas, we love her
See the full post
63 notes - Posted April 20, 2022
#2
Episode 1: Dusty Old Book
Once again, please check the trigger warnings before proceeding, since this story will probably have death, violence and angst and mentions of blood.
Cover made with Canva, crossposted on my wattpad account.
A silent figure walked through the busy streets of Nelaghati. Draped in a simple cotton sari and a few ornaments, she blends in easily with the bustling crowd. She pulled her pallu over her head, partly because of the heat, partly to avoid anyone recognising her.
There will be plenty of time to get back to her later. First, let us have a look around this charming town.
Nelaghati was a beautiful, busy place. Bursting with colour and life, this kingdom was sure to enthrall any who came by.
Now, our 'Silent Figure' was walking in the streets of Nelaghati's biggest marketplaces. The area is buzzing with people. Vendors selling their wares, street performers performing, a suspicious person selling even more suspicious trinkets, and so many more things, but if we stop to list them all we will never get to the point.
She hurried past all the people trying to stop her, to convince her to try their items, to warn her about all those 'other sellers' who won't have such amazing quality or prices, but eventually she escapes them all, and found her way to a secluded spot, where a horse with a velvety brown coat and a black mane was impatiently waiting for her. It neighed disapprovingly.
Now, here's two things about the horse that our reader might find interesting. One, that it belonged to Aditi, AKA our 'Silent Figure'; and two, that it bore the royal seal.
Aditi lowered her pallu and lovingly stroked the horse. She held up a dusty old book.
"Look what I got!"
The horse seemed unimpressed.
"Hey, hey, look, I'm sorry. I came back here as soon as I could."
It seemed satisfied with her - admittedly flimsy - apology and she mounted it in a second, gently squeezing its side with her legs to make it start moving.
They rode for a while, gradually gaining speed , Aditi getting more and more harrowed by the second. They soon reached the small wood that bordered the palace.
The wood was a wonderful resource, and although it was certainly very pleasant, it would take a while to get through, which only increased Aditi's distress.
"Tvarte, tvarte," She urged her horse on as calmly as she could, which was, to be fair, not very calm. "We're running late!"
Somehow managing to get to the palace in record time, she led her horse to the stables, unbridling, untacking and giving it water. She assigned the stable hand to groom it, and after making them swear not to tell anyone she had been out, she headed towards her chambers, hoping to make it there without anybody else seeing her.
"Aditi! Where have you been?!" She heard a familiar voice hiss into her ear.
"Rekha, hey, do you mind not telling anyone?"
Rekha, her handmaiden, rolled her eyes.
"You're lucky no one noticed. Yet. And what's that you're trying to hide?"
Aditi raised her hands in surrender, one hand still grasping the dusty old book.
"You got me."
"Wait, wait, wait. So you sneaked out, even though you knew that you could get into massive trouble for that, all for a Dusty Old Book?
"Yes?"
"... alright. Let's get you cleaned up before someone notices."
Aditi grinned. "You're a lifesaver, Rekha."
Rekha made no reply and simply led Aditi away, all the while chastising her about how much trouble she would have gotten into - to which Aditi could only smile ruefully and utter a quick apology - and quickly scrubbed her down, removing all the branches and brambles and dirt she had managed to get in her hair. She waited as Aditi got dressed in her more 'regal' sari, and royal ornaments, and then gently wove gajra flowers into her silky black tresses, which had been tied up in a low bun.
"So, where did you get the book?"
See the full post
72 notes - Posted June 7, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
See the full post
314 notes - Posted March 17, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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JOHN: if you ever think that i’m a badass, just remember that when i was five years old, i shoplifted a single hershey’s kiss from the grocery store.
JOHN: i felt so guilty, i didn’t even eat it. instead, i ran back to the store in tears to return it.
#LJKDGKLSDL#MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD#okay actually im gonna be deadass rn when i was like 3 i was a beast okay#like i was the opposite of this post#i was an avid little thief and idk how i didnt get in trouble for it#like when i was 3 i wanted this little kiddy watch#and my mom said no cause like whats a 3 year old gonna do with a watch#but i just grabbed it and put it in my pocket anyway#and we got all the way out to the parking lot before my mom realized i took it#and she was like >:O !!!!!!! and snatched it and ran back in and gave it back#i was probably so upset ldkgjskfgjhg#homestuck#incorrect homestuck quotes#submission#thestudentsaver#mod dave#john egbert
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5e Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness build (My Little Pony: FIM)
(Artwork by SophiesPlushies on DeviantArt.)
Like, it took me a solid 5 minutes to find the first image in this post and I had to sift through so much softcore porn to find it. I didn’t even find it by searching DeviantArt I had to go on fucking derpibooru oh my lord.
Anyways: here’s another shit brony build because people don’t hate me enough! Well that and I do genuinely love the characters from My Little Pony, and think that they’d be fun to make builds for. But feel free to call me a garbage brony at your leisure.
These are the words of a man who has been beaten down after being a brony for around 10 years.
GOALS
I'm just good with animals - Fluttershy talks to animals. That’s one of the main things she does really.
I'm doing this because you're my very best friend - As the element of kindness we of course need to share our heart and soul with our friends.
Nopony pushes new Fluttershy around! - MLP Wiki makes an express point of mentioning The Stare in Fluttershy’s powers, so of course we’ll do our best to include that.
RACE
Before you say anything no I’m not a pegasi stan just because I did both Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Regardless Aaracokra still makes the most sense for Fluttershy unfortunately because there’s few bird races and fewer flying races.
As an Aaracokra you +2 to Dexterity and +1 to Wisdom which we’ll be keeping because I don’t know if your DM will allow Tasha’s rules. You also get 50 feet of Flight but you can’t be wearing Medium or Heavy Armor to do this, which means I don’t get to say “something something Medium Armor.” And finally you can buck someone to deal damage equal to a d4 plus your Strength; technically their Talons which deal slashing damage but feel free to view them however you want.
If I was to build Fluttershy I’d honestly use the Owlfolk UA race (which will hopefully be out in Wild Beyond the Witchlight and / or Strixhaven) for a multitude of reasons, the most notable of which being the fact that you can fly with Medium armor as an Owlfolk. But the Detect Magic Ritual ability is also nice as is the reaction to stop yourself from falling. Unfortunately Aaracokra technically made more sense since Fluttershy can’t detect magic.
Basically even I have to make choices which are suboptimal in order to ensure maximum roleplay, and even when I play my builds I change them to make them better to play.
ABILITY SCORES
15; WISDOM - You are compassionate and good with animals: both those things are Wisdom skills!
14; DEXTERITY - Since I can’t go “something something medium armor” for this build (yay Aaracokra) I guess getting a 16 in DEX thanks to your race is a good call. If playing an Owlfolk or something you can afford to having 14 total in DEX, as you can then wear medium armor.
13; CONSTITUTION - Look, roleplay stats are great and all but so is not dying.
12; CHARISMA - You are cute small pony... bird... Pony-bird...
10; INTELLIGENCE - Most of your time was spent taking care of animals and most of your knowledge comes from on-hand training as opposed to studying. Basically you’re not Twilight.
8; STRENGTH - As a young filly Rainbow Dash would do most of the heavy lifting for you. As a young mare Rainbow Dash still does most the heavy lifting for you. She is a Barbarian after all!
BACKGROUND
Most ponies know to come to you if their pets are in trouble, and if you’ve ever had pets you know the doctor that helps them is a true Folk Hero. As a Folk Hero you get proficiency in Animal Handling (yay) but I’d swap the Survival proficiency out for Stealth because well... you’re very good at hiding. You also get proficiency with Land Vehicles (most Land Vehicles in D&D are controlled by animals; usually horses! Wait... aren’t you a horse?) and an Artisan’s Tool of your choice: go for Carpenter’s Tools to make some bird houses and chicken coops!
After living in Ponyville for so long most ponies are willing to give you some Rustic Hospitality, giving you a warm place to rest and recover... as long as you can get over your crippling shyness! Eep!
(Artwork by probablyfakeblonde on DeviantArt.)
THE BUILD
LEVEL 1 - CLERIC 1
Starting off as a Cleric because I thought Wisdom and Charisma saves were more fitting for Fluttershy, and for the Insight and Medicine skill proficiencies.
As a Cleric you get to choose your subclass at level 1, and there’s nothing you love more than a little bit of Peace and quiet. As a Peace Cleric you get proficiency in Performance thanks to Implement of Peace, for those great MLP song numbers. But more importantly you can call on the power of friendship for an Emboldening Bond!
As an action, you choose a number of friends within 30 feet of you (this can include yourself) equal to your proficiency bonus. Your friendship bonds them together for 10 minutes or until you use this feature again. While any bonded creature is within 30 feet of another they get a d4 they can add to an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw once per turn. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.
And finally we can talk about the Spellcasting! You get three cantrips from the Cleric list at level 1: Guidance is always welcome among friends, and Spare the Dying can be a literal life safer! Other than that you are still expected to fight in D&D so take Sacred Flame to defend yourself. You can also prepare a number of spells equal to your Cleric level plus your Wisdom modifier. As a Peace Domain Cleric you can inspire Heroism among your friends, or protect yourself (and hide!) with Sanctuary.
Other than that Healing Word is a staple healing spell (we aren’t taking Cure Wounds right now for reasons but feel free to prepare it), Shield of Faith will let you defend your allies, Protection from Evil and Good will help you invoke the Elements of Harmony against the big bad of the season, and Detect Evil and Good will help you find the Elements of Harmony!
You could also take Bless, but I’m not going to tell you to take Bless because optimizers would crucify me for telling you to double up on d4s.
LEVEL 2 - CLERIC 2
Second level Clerics get their Channel Divinity once per short rest and you have a variety of options to choose from:
Turn Undead will make skeletons and zombies not want to hurt the cute little ponies, which will force them to run away for awhile.
Balm of Peace (the main reason we took the second level in Cleric) will let you run around and heal all your friends for 2d6 plus your Wisdom modifier.
And Harness Divine Power (ty Tasha’s) will let you recover a spell slot, but can only be used a limited amount of times per Long Rest.
You can also prepare another spell and be a little less nice with Command. Telling your enemies to “LOVE” isn’t going to be that effective, but making them grovel or drop works just as fine.
LEVEL 3 - RANGER 1
When you spend enough time around animals you’re automatically either a Ranger or a Druid. Quinn? Never heard of ‘em. Regardless multiclassing into Ranger gives you proficiency in a skill from the Ranger list and it’s good to know about Nature so you can find plants to help your fluffy buddies! Deft Explorer also gives you two language proficiencies (again: pick your poison) and Expertise in a skill. You’ll never guess which skill we’ll be getting... it’s Animal Handling. You’re good with animals.
We actually aren’t going to be taking Favored Foe because we aren’t using weapons for one, but more importantly despite it’s name Favored Enemy is also good for tracking friends! You have advantage on Survival checks to track your favored “enemies”, as well as on Intelligence checks to recall information about them. Go for Beasts to easily find a feathered or fluffy friend! Oh and you also get more languages because I don’t know why, so again pick your poison.
LEVEL 4 - RANGER 2
Second level Rangers get their Fighting Style, or as I like to call it your Helping Style because we’ll be going for Druidic Warrior! You can pick up two cantrips from the Druid list: I opted for Druidcraft (you can grow some flowers for your friends; yay!) and Mending to tend to your cottage.
And of course with cantrips we also get more Spellcasting! You can learn two spells from the Druid list: you’re never not going to want Cure Wounds (which is why we didn’t take it earlier btw) and Animal Friendship is an obvious must.
LEVEL 5 - RANGER 3
Third level Rangers get to choose their Ranger Archetype and we’ll be going for the Gloomsta- Ah you all know it’s going to be Beast Master. You get a Ranger’s Companion not from the PHB but from Tasha’s! The Beast of Land would make the most sense and while it’s probably expected that they be a wolf or something you can pretend that you’re playing Fighting is Magic and have Angel Bunny fight for you! Anyways here’s a crash course on your new fluffy friend:
Their AC is equal to 13 plus your proficiency bonus (currently 16.)
Their health is equal to 5 + five times your Ranger level (currently 20) and they have a number of d8 hit die equal to your Ranger level.
They have a 40 foot movement speed and a 40 foot climbing speed.
You can command it to attack with your bonus action; it has the same hit chance as your spell hit chance (WIS mod + Prof Bonus [currently 6]) and deals a d8 + 2 + prof bonus damage.
If they move at least 20 feet straight toward a target and then hit with an attack on the same turn, the target takes an extra 1d6 slashing damage and must make a Strength saving throw against your spell save DC (if they’re a creature.) If they fail they’re knocked prone.
You can command the beast to attack, dash, disengage, or hide with your bonus action.
If you don’t command it they take the dodge action.
You can revive them with a spell of first level or higher 1 hour after they die, and can change your beast after a long rest.
Man, who knew that taking care of a pet was so difficult? Well you also get Primeval Awareness (because Primal Awareness actually doesn’t work that well for this build.) You can use your action and one spell slot to sense the following types of creatures within 1 mile of you: aberrations, celestials, dragons, elementals, fey, fiends, and undead. This lasts for one minute, and doesn’t reveal the creatures’ location or number.
And you learn another spell: Goodberry is good to feed yourself and all your friends! As long as they’re okay with eating berries, of course. C’mon... they’re good for you! Pleeeease?
(Artwork by AssasinMonkey on DeviantArt.)
LEVEL 6 - RANGER 4
Finally an Ability Score Improvement... or Feat? We’ll be going for Eldritch Adept, which is admittedly weird but it’s the only way to get Beast Speech so you can Speak with Animals at will! Is total level 6 a little late to finally be able to speak with animals? Yeah, but this is unlimited so it fits better and doesn’t spend your spell slots.
LEVEL 7 - CLERIC 3
Finally back to Cleric land which means finally we can prepare some second level spells! As a Peace domain Cleric you automatically get Aid and Warding Bond prepared, both of which are very good for keeping your friends alive. You can also finally get Hold Person to finally have The Stare!
LEVEL 8 - CLERIC 4
Level 4 in Cleric means another Ability Score Improvement: Wisdom is still your core stat so increasing that by 2 would be your best choice.
You also get another cantrip at this level, and can prepare two more spells! For cantrips I’d recommend Light to see with your dumb bird eyes unless you’re an Owlfolk, and I’d recommend preparing Lesser Restoration and Enhance Ability to further boost your friends.
(Artwork by Koveliana on DeviantArt.)
LEVEL 9 - CLERIC 5
5th level Clerics can now Destroy Undead of CR 1/2 or lower with their Channel Divinity. Don’t feel too bad about it; they were big dumb meanies anyways!
You can also prepare third level spells too! As a Peace Domain Cleric you get Beacon of Hope to help with healing, and Spike can send letters out for you with Sending. You can also prepare Dispel Magic in case Twilight needs help with more dangerous spells.
LEVEL 10 - CLERIC 6
6th level Peace Clerics get Protective Bond. When a creature affected by your Emboldening Bond is about to take damage, another bonded creature within 30 feet of the first can use its reaction to teleport to an unoccupied space within 5 feet of the first creature. That creature then takes all the damage instead. It’s worth mentioning that since this specifies “creature” you can actually bond with your beast companion and have it use its reaction, or have others go in to defend angel.
You can also prepare another third level spell like Revivify, so you don’t lose any friends. And to top it off you can use your Channel Divinity twice per short rest! Woohoo!
LEVEL 11 - CLERIC 7
7th level Cleric, 4th level spells. As a Peace Domain Cleric you get Aura of Purity to protect your friends, and Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere to put your enemies in time out. You can also prepare another spell like Freedom of Movement, in case you need to run!
LEVEL 12 - CLERIC 8
8th level Clerics get a variety of features. To start off you get an Ability Score Improvement, which means we can finally cap off your Wisdom for maximum spellcasting! This also means you can prepare more spells, but we’re actually going to hold off on getting more spells for now.
You can also put a little more LOVE into your spells with Potent Spellcasting, adding your Wisdom modifier to the damage of your Cleric cantrips. And finally your Channel Divinity will now Destroy Undead or CR 1 or lower.
LEVEL 13 - CLERIC 9
The reason we held off on getting more Cleric spells last level is because now we get those big 5th level spells! As a Peace Domain Cleric you can help your friends out of any jam with Greater Restoration, and know what they really mean to say thanks to Rary’s Telepathic Bond.
You can also prepare some of those big hitter spells like Mass Cure Wounds to save your friends, and you can cast both Dawn and Summon Celestial to call on Celestia herself! Isn’t that Twilight’s job? Well, it’s still good to have contacts!
(Artwork by CigarsCigarettes on DeviantArt.)
LEVEL 14 - RANGER 5
Now that we’ve got all the support we could need for our friends it’s time to return to our roots and focus on Angel! Feel free to focus more on Ranger instead of Cleric if you so desire when building this yourself; I simply opted for more healing instead of damage.
We’re finally 5th level with Ranger which finally means you’ll be getting an Extra Attack!... Which you probably won’t use because you can use cantrips instead. Well it’s still nice to have?
The good thing though is that you can learn more Ranger spells like Healing Spirit, which is a really strong healing spell that was kinda gutted by erratas. But it’s still nice and efficient regardless of what spell slot you casted it at, effectively being a 6d6 heal for a second level spell slot!
LEVEL 15 - RANGER 6
6th level Rangers can now add Roving to their list of skills from Deft Explorer. Your movement speed increases by 5 feet, and you get both a climbing and swimming speed equal to your walking speed. Is total level 15 a little late to get a 30 foot movement speed? Yeah probably, but every little bit helps!
Speaking of another little bit you get another Favored Enemy... I mean friend! ...I don’t know pick whatever you think will be relevant for the campaign. Also yes: you do get more languages, because Ranger.
LEVEL 16 - RANGER 7
7th level Beast Masters have Exceptional Training with their Animal Companion. You can use a bonus action to command the beast to take the Dash, Disengage, or Help action on its turn... which you could already do anyways thanks to Tasha’s.
I’d say that after Tasha’s this feature would work even if you don’t command your beast, but as always discuss the rules with your DM.
Well at least Angel’s attacks count as magical to overcome resistances, which is good because you were probably dealing with nonmagical resistance for awhile now.
You can also prepare another spell like Pass Without Trace, so you and your friends can sneak around unseen. Pass Without Trace is one of those spells that is always useful regardless of what level you are, so picking it up now is still useful!
LEVEL 17 - RANGER 8
8th level Rangers get another Ability Score Improvement. You’ve probably noticed our uneven Constitution score by this point: yeah that was because we were going to grab Resilient Constitution at some point. Increasing your CON gives you a nice +17 to your health and makes your Constitution saves (and concentration saves!) a +8 total.
You’ve also spent so much time on the ground moving through nonmagical difficult terrain costs you no extra movement thanks to Land’s Stride. You can also pass through nonmagical plants without being slowed by them or taking damage from them. Additionally, you have advantage on saving throws against plants that are magically created or manipulated to impede movement. You may be able to fly but that doesn’t mean being able to move on the ground isn’t useful!
(Artwork by AssasinMonkey on DeviantArt.)
LEVEL 18 - RANGER 9
9th level Rangers can learn third level spells, and you’ve probably spent enough time training with Rainbow Dash by this point to make a Wind Wall to protect your friends! (Basically the Ranger spell list sucks and we’re only really going down Ranger still for more subclass features.)
LEVEL 19 - RANGER 10
You get a new feature from Deft Explorer at this level: you are now Tireless! As an action you can give yourself a number of temporary hit points equal to 1d8 plus your Wisdom modifier (so 5.) You can use this action a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. Additionally whenever you finish a short rest your exhaustion level is decreased by 1.
You’re also a master of avoiding social interaction. Nature’s Veil lets you turn invisible as a Bonus Action until the start of your next turn. You can also use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and regain all expended uses when you finish a Long Rest.
LEVEL 20 - RANGER 11
11th level Beast Masters can invoke Bestial Fury! With 11 level in Ranger and 20 total levels in this build your Animal Companion can now... attack twice! Look Beast Master is playable now, I never said it was good.
At least you can learn one last Ranger spell: in your ultimate stand against darkness Daylight will help you banish the dark! ...Or something. Look again: the Ranger spell list sucks.
FINAL BUILD
PROS
You do not hurt my friends! You got that? - Even with the multiclassing you still get spell slots up to 7th level, and have more than enough magic to shake a stick at. Not to mention that Angel will always be by your side to pump out a bit more damage with your Bonus Action!
You’re the cutest thing ever - Maxed out Wisdom was rather expected from a Cleric, but Expertise in Animal Handling combined with unlimited Beast Speech means that you can easily make friends with any beast you come across! Just make sure your DM is okay with you giving a hydra belly rubs.
Whatever you wanna do is fine... - You’ve got quite a good mix of features that will help you both in and out of combat, meaning that there’s plenty that your friends can rely on you to help with! In fact there’s a lot of things that only you can do as a Ranger which are quite helpful!
CONS
You’re such a loudmouth... - Most of your class resources only come back after a Long Rest, with only your Channel Divinity coming back after a Short Rest. You’re still plenty capable with just Angel by your side but don’t spend everything in one fight, or else you’ll be left with nothing but Sacred Flame and Animal Companion attacks.
Are you coughing because... - So let’s talk about Angel: even with 11 levels in Ranger they’re not great. AC of 19 is pretty good but they’ll probably max out around 60 HP. Your average Wizard will have more HP than this by level 20. Two maul attacks will do decent damage but you could get equal value out of Spiritual Weapon, and you only get the second attack with Angel at total build level 20. And yeah for most of this build Angel is going to be sitting around 25 max HP, meaning they’re likely to go down a lot. Aid can help keep your pets healthy and happy but don’t be upset when your level 4 Ranger companion keeps going down.
Awful, just awful! - We kinda miss the best of both worlds for the sake of a build that’s “in-character.” No 10th level of Cleric means no Divine Intervention (even if it’s only a 10% chance it’s still good to have), and no 12th level of Ranger means no ASIs. One good thing about this build is that it does peak around level 10 or so where the multiclassing doesn’t start to damage it, but if you really expect to run all the way to level 20 I’d sooner play either a straight Ranger or a straight Cleric.
But you’re coming along to share your kindness with everypony around you, and guide your friends to victory! Use your expertise to keep your friends alive while Angel kicks some major tail! Get down and be assertive, but remember not to push yourself too hard. Everypony already loves you for who you are, even if you’re in fact a little shy.
(Artwork by Rodrigues404 on DeviantArt.)
#dnd#dnd build#dnd guide#My Little Pony#Friendship is Magic#mlp: fim#brony#dnd ranger#dnd cleric#fluttershy#flutter pony#animals
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So, wanted to give a little preview of my current projects. All of them are still very WIP.
First, we have the Hun warrior and genocidal maniac himself:
He's a lot further along than this image shows: I'm just having trouble getting his CC to work right in-game. His facial hair won't show up at all, and until literally 3 minutes ago his clothes refused to morph to a masculine body. 😩
I'm getting it figured out though! It won't be long before I share more complete pics. His hair mesh is NOT my work, so upon release he *will* require a third-party download.
Next up...
I haven't seen Maui done before. He's obviously nowhere near being finished. His tattoos are hard to do, but I'll get them right eventually! The ones here are just vanilla placeholders.
I really need to find some "extreme body morph" mods to get him right. His eyes need to be closer together, for one, and the basegame won't let me push them any further. And aside from the above, I need to find/make good CC for his grass skirt and necklace. Bummed that Island Living didn't have anything closer.
And finally...
The Shadow Man himself: Dr. Facilier! I haven't even started on CC for him besides the hat, so he's a long way off. Even still, I don't think I did too poorly so far!
And I saw that a recent expansion has actual Voodoo, so I might need to think about buying that. Mischief skill does work decently enough though.
And finally, I do have an Ursula but she looks TERRIBLE. I want her as a Mermaid with Vanessa as her land form, but unfortunately the two forms are locked into sharing the same muscle and body-mass sliders... If I can find or make a mod that will let me customize the sliders, that would be perfect.
Err, third finally... If anyone knows of a Werewolf life state mod or something, please comment! I don't know what to do about Beast. Maybe one day I can figure out how to mod Vampires to get a suitable effect...
Anyway, that's everything I'm trying to accomplish. Constructive criticism is appreciated; I know I have loads of room for improvement.
I'm really scared to update my game though. 😅 I'm worries it'll break all my CC, especially with the skin tone upgrade! So wish me luck that that DOESN'T happen.
#ts4 disney#the sims 4#disney villains#Shan Yu#dr. facilier#facilier#shadow man#ts4cc#ts4 villains#Maui#Ursula#Beast#WIP
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My top 10 hated things about Bionicle G2
1. the overuse of golden masks. I mean all the powerful masks are all gold, the toa happen to have golden masks just like theirs, then there is another set of golden masks that looks like their recent upgraded ones. It was just all ridiculous and blown out of proportions and diminished the specialty of the phenomenon. Plus they wore the golden mask through a majority of all of g2 so why bother even giving them regular colored masks anyway. They should have ditched the gold mask part in “journey to one” and juts made it about finding/merging with the creatures.
2. Diminished characters. While the 2d web series was pretty good with characterizing the toa, though rather simply, they all had distinct traits and personalities. That was just all trashed in the Netflix show. Almost all the toa now felt like angsty teenagers. I think lewa was the only one that stayed fairly consistent, though he transitioned from playful and free spirited to the teams wide-eyed kid brother. Or pohatu from a quiet moody ninja to loud emo brawler. It just showed the lack of care or interest in the characters or writing.
3. Generic villain. While g1 had this ass well, there were always reasons and history and lore behind them. Each wave of enemies(spiders/zombies/beasts) had no point other than being an obstacle. Even umurak, the most important villain, had no history or drive other than doing what makuta tells him.
4. The backstory and history of the toa. It felt like no thought was put into it and they went with what we were given so as little thought as possible had to be put into it. Lore and history were never part of g2 and that is prominent nowhere more than the toa themselves.
5. Ekimu being a pointless dick. Marketed as a powerful being and sage, he really never showed himself to be so. He acted fairly obnoxious and he told the toa a lot, but never anything they wouldn’t have figured out themselves eventually, which would have been more interesting. And we find out that all he knows it just what he read in prophecy, and is so up his ass honoring it that he never reveals things the toa should know. Okoto could have been saved in a day if he came clean with them. And quite frankly not telling them that defeating makuta would mean their own end is the definition of a dick move. All and all, as the g2 successor to mata nui, he was a piss poor replacement.
6. Voice acting. In both the web series and the Netflix show, voice acting really was a second or third thought. The web series has all the character voiced by the same damn person, and though he did try to differentiate all the characters, it was still a bit jarring. Heck, casual watchers would prob never even realize gali was a women. Still, it was better than the Netflix series; if I closed my eyes and listened to the web series, just by the detail of the mannerisms and character acting I could tell who was who. I don’t think I could ever do that with “journey to one”. Aside from gali and maybe lewa, all the toa sound generic and similar, and as I said before, there are so few defining traits or personalities to them now to pick out. I don’t know if they modded the voices to much or just got all deep voiced men but it was just not handled well.
7. Not releasing the makuta set or the mask of ultimate power. Makuta was the main villain of the series and they actually said “we areent going to release him”. Makutas backstory, while cliché, was one of the better written and more nuanced part of g2. Again just shows how little the creators cared for the franchise.
8. Figure looks and proportions. Compared to the last 2 years of g1, first set of toa were kinda disappointing. They have their good points and highlights, but it felt like they focused more on grasping g1 nostalgia than making sure they were descent figures on their own. Tahu had the slung up back blades which seemed so awkward and clunky with his legs, which were covered by literal copies of his chest armor. Then onua, the largest toa of the group, ends up being the smallest toa set, effin really. The uniter sets were no better in proportions; overly long one piece torsos, arms that if not good length were to short and legs that seems either to short or too long. The uniters all felt like scarecrows.
9. Lack of side characters or additional sets. Unlike g1, g2 did not stray at all from the absolutely necessary characters and sets. They did not expand the story from the main plotline so we never got to meet other important individuals or characters or goings on in okoto.
10. Never exploring okoto. Okoto was the main setting of the story and like mata nui in g1, one of the most interesting parts of the story should have been exploring it. Instead we get the smallest glimpses of each region and everything else it just important location to important location.
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Spiritual Spotlight: Barzahk the Passage
True Neutral Psychopomp Usher of Compasses, Travelers, and Vigil
Domains: Knowledge, Protection, Repose, Travel Subdomains*: Education, Defense, Psychopomp, Exploration
Concordance of Rivals, pg. 6 Pathfinder Adventure Path: Tyrant’s Grasp: Born by the Sun’s Grace, pg. 79
Obedience: Walk a road for an hour and keep a constant eye out for signs of fallen travelers or roadside graves. Tend to any of either you find. Benefit: Gain a +4 insight bonus on Survival and Knowledge (Geography) checks to find locations and to avoid becoming lost, as well as on saving throws against magical effects which would cause you to become lost (such as Maze or the Primeval Landscape ability of the Whisperer).
(*IMPORTANT NOTE: The Subdomains are my best guess; Subdomains are not listed in Concordance of Rivals.)
Step 1) Don’t get arrested, stuck in a dungeon, or trapped too far away from civilization.
Step 2) Fail step 1.
Not an easy Obedience to perform if you’re the types to wander into the untamed wilds or find yourself frequently trapped in locations where you have no easy access to a road. A lot of Obediences that rely on terrain being nearby are brutal if you’re on the march or are pinned in one inconvenient location for a while, and this one is especially painful because going into the untamed wilds is a thing adventurers do regularly.
However, if you’re in a relatively urban environment and can come and go as you please, this Boon is a complete non-issue. In addition, if you’re actually traveling via the roads, you can very easily do this Boon alongside your normal marching. Also note that the wording of this Boon basically means you can walk a half-hour on the right side of the road, and a half-hour on the left to save your party the frustration of tracking you down each day. Technically you can walk in a 10 or even 5 minute loop, as well, but that’s against the spirit of the Obedience and Barzahk may not take kindly to that.
This is probably one of the easiest Obediences to hide, by the by, especially if your travel is uneventful. You’ll just seem altruistic! Just... try not to get discouraged if that ‘fallen’ traveler suddenly leap up with a knife as his buddies emerge from the roadside. It’s likely only going to be a one-off incident. I’d discourage making “tend to” into a deadly euphemism, but would understand if you get ambushed one too many times. I’m sure Barzahk would, too.
Boons are gained slowly, gained at levels 12, 16, and 20. Servants of the Monitors, though, can enter the Proctor Prestige Class as early as level 8. If entered as early as possible, you can earn your Boons at levels 10, 14, and 16. You MUST take the Monitor Obedience feat, NOT Deific Obedience. Monitors grant only a single set of Boons.
SECOND NOTE: Barzahk is unique in that they’re the only Usher who has had their Boon set expanded upon. Without the DMs permission, you will only be able to take the Exalted set if you enter the Proctor class.
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EVANGELIST
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Boon 1: Know Who Passed. Gain Alarm 3/day, Perceive Cues 2/day, or Speak With Dead 1/day.
Ooh, I never even heard of Perceive Cues until today! It’s definitely one of those ‘would never prepare, but would love to have‘ spells that gives you a nice and chunky +5 bonus to Perception and Sense Motive for a whopping 10 minutes/level. As Perception is the most-rolled skill in the game, slapping it on just before creeping into a spooky manor or dingy cave can save you a lot of headaches. The bonus to Sense Motive is also useful when dealing with NPCs, sniffing out lies or hidden information.
Speak With Dead holds the distinction of being either useless or scenario-defining, though it’s certainly useful in situations where you stumble upon a scene of carnage or slaughter all the guards in an area after forgetting to interrogate them. Alarm has its niche uses as an emergency alert when you’re camping, or to alert you to someone following behind you, but I’d prefer to just have Perceive Cues most days.
Boon 2: Wings of the Wanderer. As a standard action, you may assume the form of a Giant Raven as if using Beast Shape II, and may remain in this form for 1 hour per HD you have; this time need not be consecutive, but must be used in 1-hour increments. While in this form, you have the raven’s Scavenger ability, a +2 insight bonus to your AC, and a +3 insight bonus to Perception checks. In addition, as a standard action, you may consume 1 hour of the transformation’s daily allotment to cast Enlarge Person or Reduce Person on yourself as a spell-like ability.
You ever wanted to be a bird? Now you can be! You start at 14 hours of birdyness and that only goes up from there, which is a GENEROUS amount of bird-being--a little over a typical adventuring day! Thankfully, it gives you something to spend all your Bird Points (BP) on in the form of letting you shrink or grow as you see fit, letting you put the Giant Raven’s stabbing beak to good work. More importantly, though, is the fact you can shrink yourself down to around normal bird size (ravens are a lot bigger than most think) to elude suspicion as you flit around an enemy’s encampment and see what they’re up to.
With the raven’s 60ft fly speed, you can also use it as an emergency escape button to flit out of danger’s path... But try not to get trapped in combat anyway, because once you go black(bird) you have to wait a whole hour to go back(bird). Using this ability in combat is almost never worth it unless your enemy is scared of ravens specifically, and while its scouting potential is incredible, the fact you’re stuck as a bird for an hour will prevent you from acting on what you’ve learned or even relaying what you’ve learned unless someone knows Speak With Animals.
Boon 3: Terrain Dominance. For every 5 HD you have, you gain one Terrain Dominance as if you were a Horizon Walker; you do not need to have the Terrain Mastery class feature to select a dominance. If you do not have a Favored Terrain bonus from another source, treat your Favored Terrain bonus as +2 when dealing with creatures native to the terrains over which you have dominance; you do not otherwise gain the benefits of Favored Terrain.
Oooooh, lovely! Terrain Dominance has some juicy selections in it, such as the Astral Plane (which lets you use Dimension Door 3 + Wis mod times/day), the Plane of Fire (Fire Resistance 20), mountains (DR 2/adamantine), and the Plane of Air (Fly as a spell-like 3 + Wis mod times/day). You get one dominance for every 5 HD you have, beginning at 3 and maxing out at 4, which is actually one more than the Horizon Walker gets for going through its entire class!
And then there’s the nice little bow on top with “you get +2 bonus on Bluff, Knowledge, Perception, Sense Motive, and Survival checks, as well as attack and damage rolls against creatures native to your selected terrains” written on it in very, very small letters. On the other side of the bow is some fine print that reads “I’m not sure if you can select new dominances each time you perform the Obedience or not but I’d love it if you could.”
Huh! Weird! That’s just what I was going to say! It’d make you a hell of a lot more flexible than the Horizon Walker is regularly, too... to the point I’d almost say ‘no you can’t change’ just to throw the poor class a bone. You may want to beat the class to death with a bone, though, and in such a case I won’t stop you! Custom tailor yourself for every day you face, and every terrain you embrace!
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EXALTED
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Boon 1: Prepared Traveler. Gain Adjuring Step 3/day, Animal Messenger 2/day, or Phantom Steed 1/day.
Three niche spells, nice! Animal Messenger allows you to hypnotize a tiny critter and send it off on an errand for you, usually to deliver a small object to a specific location, but how often are you going to need to do that? You’re more likely to need Phantom Steed, a spell I’ve covered several times already but to reiterate: it’s great if only you and maybe one other person need to get somewhere quickly, but for someone who regularly travels around with a party? It’s usefulness is crunched unless everyone else in the party has a method of keeping up with your sweet ride.
Adjuring Step is a spell we haven’t yet seen, and it’s an interesting one for a caster. It allows you to take two 5-foot steps a round while preventing someone from taking an Attack of Opportunity against you once you do... But the effect breaks if you move more than 5ft with your move action, cast a harmful spell, or take an attack action. This limits its usefulness somewhat, especially since a DM may rule any spell which deals no hitpoint damage but still inhibits an enemy’s functions (even something as relatively innocent as Obscuring Mist) is still ‘harmful.’ If they rule ‘harmful’ only pertains to spells which deal damage or directly prevent a creature from moving or attacking, then Adjuring Step becomes MUCH better, letting you slide on out of a typical Medium enemy’s attack radius without getting slapped for your cowardice.
Of course, if your DM does rule ‘harmful’ includes any stifling of the senses, you can still use this ability to protect yourself while buffing allies.
It’s still not especially useful since it takes a full standard action to cast and prevents you from repositioning quickly without losing the effect, but if you find yourself always in an enemy’s Pain Zone, then you may consider taking it with you.
Boon 2: Seasoned Traveler. You no longer take nonlethal damage from moving at a hustle overland. You gain Endurance and Nimble Moves as bonus feats.
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“Hustle” is moving about twice your normal walking speed, by the way. This ability grants you the ability to briskly jog for an infinite amount of time, which is impressive from an athleticism standpoint but basically useless for the average adventurer since A) Your party will lag behind your superhuman stamina, and B) If you alone need to get somewhere quickly, you’ll usually know ahead of time and can prepare Phantom Steed.
Endurance and Nimble Moves are decent quality-of-life feats that are incredibly dull to have as a divine boon. Endurance gives you a +4 bonus to saves versus an enormous amount of environmental factors, such as holding your breath, swimming against the tide, staying awake while fatigued or exhausted, or surviving on little food or water. Nimble Moves gives you the ability to ignore a single 5ft square of difficult terrain, a benefit so minor that it’s basically worthless, the feat itself only existing as a tax for fatter feats... Such as Acrobatic Steps, which gives you an additional 15ft of uninhibited movement.
THAT would be a good Boon, honestly. Or just do away with the feats altogether and give the worshiper difficulty-free movement. As it is, this Boon is incredibly disappointing.
Boon 3: Into the Dead Roads. 1/day as a full-round action, you can open a door to the Dead Roads and guide others with you to cross huge distances or travel the planes. This duplicates the effects of a Shadow Walk with a caster level equal to twice your Hit Dice. Alternately, you may use this ability as Plane Shift; in this case, the effect is not instantaneous, requiring 2d6 hours of travel by foot to arrive at a random point on the target plane.
The Dead Roads are the domain (or the true body) of Barzahk, and connect every plane that bears life to one another. With this, you can fling open the door and waltz on through whenever you feel like! Shadow Walk allows you to travel at the breakneck speed of 50 miles an hour and, thanks to this ability, has a double-take-worthy 2 hours/level of travel time. That’s 36 hours of travel at 50 miles an hour, or a grand total of 1,600 miles. That’s a little over halfway across America east-westwise, or all the way from Mexico to Canada north-southwise! WITHOUT having to deal with any inconvenient terrain, traffic jams, or highwaymen! “But what about--” Your Obedience? Good news! The Dead Roads count as a road for the purposes of your Obedience, and the personal stretch that you open up with this power is unlikely to have fallen travelers or gravesites to distract you from your journey.
Just make sure everyone goes to the bathroom and packs some snacks before going, because 36 hours is a while.
Also, as I covered way back in Ng’s article, having Plane Shift without the restriction of needing the attuned forks is a pretty nice tool to have, letting you throw open a doorway to anywhere you know of... But the 2d6-hour travel time kills its offensive uses, limiting it solely to a method of getting from Point A to Point B.
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SENTINEL
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Boon 1: Find the Lost. Gain Tireless Pursuit 3/day, Locate Object 2/day, or Follow Aura 1/day.
Niche gods will always have niche spells, I suppose. Tireless Pursuit is a little insulting because it reveals that Seasoned Traveler is the equivalent of a level 1 spell... And in fact Tireless Pursuit is better since it protects from forced marches as well. Hrm. Still falls into the same trappings, though, especially since it’s personal use only. Ew.
Follow Aura gives you the power to literally sniff out Chaos, Law, Good, or Evil, making you an expert at tracking down shapeshifting Outsiders or sniffing out items or spells bearing such a stench, but you must know what alignment you’re looking for (you can choose only one aspect) and it’s really only good if you have a few ranks in Survival to track the target. In addition, it has no effect on mortals who are just plain Evil or Good or what have you unless they have a palpable aura of alignment. It can only trace moderate or stronger auras, meaning that it’s usually only Outsiders or magic.
So that leaves Locate Object, a spell which does exactly what it suggests. It gives you a Long (400+40ft/level) ranged bubble that detects any one object you can visualize in your head, or the closest item matching a generic description. The radius is wide enough to catch a thief on the run but likely too small to sense a quest objective, plus it’s blocked by any amount of lead (much like other Locate/Detect spells) and any villain locking up a plot coupon will likely lock it up in a lead-coated box.
All three of these spells are of incredibly niche use, which as I’ve mentioned before, makes is difficult to know which one you’ll actually need on a given day. I’d probably pack Locate Object, just in case.
Boon 2: Studied Hunter. For every 5 HD you possess, you gain one Favored Enemy and a +2 bonus on Survival checks to track creatures of that type/subtype, as well as on Diplomacy, Heal, Knowledge, and Sense Motive checks regarding them, and a +1 dodge bonus to AC against attacks of creatures of that type/subtype.
So when you first get this Boon, you gain two Favored Enemies and have a +4 bonus on a bunch of skill checks and +2 AC versus them. Once you hit level 20, this is four enemies, a +8 bonus on all those skill checks and a +4 AC! Since you’ve selected your Favored Enemies likely long after the campaign has begun, you’ve also probably gotten a pretty good idea of what you’re going to face! This blessing is beautifully beefy, but you may notice that it doesn’t confer the damage boost against the enemy, trading that off for additional AC instead. A good enough trade, I’d say, because it’s a dodge bonus, so it applies to your touch AC AND--more importantly--stacks with any other dodge bonuses you may have!
You may also notice that these skills are mostly defensive and combat-avoidant, rather than the more offensive and sneaky skill bonuses the Ranger normally gets (Diplomacy instead of Bluff, Heal instead of Perception, etc). And I like that! Because Barzahk is about defending the Dead Roads from invaders, not hauling off and viciously tracking the invaders back in their home. These abilities make you better at resolving things peacefully with your chosen foes... And, especially in the case of Heal, allows you to better tend to the travelers you meet as you walk the worldly roads.
Also, much like with Terrain Dominance, it’s not entirely clear whether or not you can swap your selected foes each time you complete this Obedience. For the sake of game balance, I’d say ‘no.’
Boon 3: Warden of the Ways. You no longer need to drink, eat, or sleep to survive, though you must still rest with only light activity for at least 2 hours a day to renew your spells. While on a road, pathway, or tunnel, you gain DR 4/—; your DM has final approval over what qualifies as a road, pathway, or tunnel.
Speaking of defensive abilities, how would you like insurmountable DR when battling on your home turf? This ability makes you a truly tireless Sentinel of all paths you cross, removing your needs and allowing you to focus fully on your duties. Note that resting for 2 hours is only needed for restoring your spells, by the way, because if you have no spells to prepare then you technically never have to lay down. The biggest issue you’ll face is what to do while the rest of your party is snoozing, so perhaps doing a perimeter sweep for your Obedience’s sake would be nice? Or you can spend your day adventuring, and your nights crafting.... Oh yes, yes I like that. When is downtime for you? Every night!
Becoming needless is a decent enough Boon if you can take advantage of the extra hours in your day, and the recharge after only 2 hours (remember that almost every caster cannot regain spells more than once in a 24 hour period) of light activity is definitely something to keep in mind, but that would still make this Boon a weak one to end on, which is why Barzahk also grants you a massive (for a player) 4 DR that can only be bypassed by abilities that specifically bypass DR. While 4 DR isn’t exactly jaw-dropping, that still means you’ve essentially gained what a Barbarian waits 16 levels for, WHILE multiclassing! And unlike a Barbarian, Sentinels are proficient with heavy armor and tower shields to make damaging them as frustrating as possible.
... Of course, there’s the small but unfortunate detail that you only HAVE this bonus while on some sort of connector. While a common enemy may be dumb enough to fight you on your own turf, you’re probably not going to be brawling with actual threats in hallways, meaning this ability shuts off for most boss battles and set encounters. You’ll have to work to drag your foes into the narrow walkways from which you draw your resilience, but try not to stress too hard about it, because remember that magical damage typically ignores DR unless it deals physical damage. If you’re facing enemies wielding powerful magic, you don’t have to worry about making your way back onto the beaten path. You’re just as vulnerable as everyone else!
You can read more about them here.
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i have so many theories!!! theyre all screaming at me!!! i must write out them all!!!!!
so here’s one that’s been knocking around my head since finals week began:
the Writing 3 Playlist on Spotify
I think this bad boy is a hint at the game’s timeline
maybe not 100% explanatory, but I think we can guess certain parts of the game through this
and i just wanna tell y’all now, almost all of this is speculation, as honestly im 90% sure the playlist was created bc it had borderlands-y songs in it (although the last few have me scratching my head)
lemme explain why im writing this, though I’m very thirsty for lore
tl;dr: game goes like this: lilith powers stolen. go to promethea, go to jungle, find brick mordy and tina, get into a fight, lose fight, go find other VHs, get into another fight, Krieg shows up to save Maya, maya die. (oh no she ded), the twins have their we are GODS moment, the VHs get summoned to the Eridian homeworld, there’s a huge ass final battle, someone attempts to create an end-of-the-world scenario
so the playlist itself was created to help one of the authors of the game get into their borderlands jam
it starts with a Cage the Elephant song, “Trouble”, the band of which we all know wrote the first song used in BL1. Not really much else to say here, but we do know the opening cutscene of the game involves our current team of Vault Hunters being attacked by the Children of the Vault. this is, of course, not indicative of any songs used in bl3, but we can assume it captures the general feeling of the game.
Second song: “Fire” by Barns Courtney (holy shit I love this guy so fucking much!! if you’ve never listened to his music, PLEASE do so! I really recommend “Rather Die”- I am in the process of making a bl3 animatic to it actually lmao).
So anyway, I’m just sayin’, the lyrics of this song...
“Oh, a thousand faces staring at me Thousand times I've fallen Thousand voices dead at my feet Now I'm gone... And my mother told me son let it be Sold my soul to the calling Sold my soul to a sweet melody Now I'm gone... Oh gimme that fire ...”
Honestly, I would not be surprised if this song was about Lilith’s loss of her powers. I mean, she used to call herself the Firehawk because she burned the shit outta bandits. c’monnn.
The man, the myth, the legend himself even says that "[The song is] quite defiant as well, like this cannot be how it ends, it cannot be my situation."
Mooooving on
“Majesty” by Apashe and Wasiu
holy fuck i love this song so much. and its so very obviously about the Calypso Twins- at the very least its Tyreen.
“All the stars and galaxies address me as your majesty So better say your majesty, I might react erratically Throw you in a fire, purify you I'm the sire, my empire's on the rise You better find yourself a place to hide Your place to find, but say it twice My name divine, I'm aimin' high Don't look in my face or eyes Take a bow and save your life Glory to the emperor, my temperature is risin' Always hot, it's getting violent”
I mean come on if its not when we meet the twins for the first time after they steal lily’s powers, then its definitely when they do something absolutely badass and really show us why they’re revered as gods. Possibly related to the Holy Broadcasting Center?
“The Way I Do” by Bishopp Briggs
this one honestly had got me stumped as to its purpose, i lowkey kinda think its getting Sanctuary 3 up and running (and possibly meeting Maya for the first time- still not sure about that). I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a whole thing for Scooter and this song fits pretty well. I imagine we also meet Vaughn and the Children at some point, so maybe here?
“Greeting the Menace” by Zack Hemsey
yeah i uhhhh dunno. This sounds like a song about a dude getting tortured which scares me a bit lmao.
I thought maybe this song and the next 2 could be VH-based songs, as the next 2 have no lyrics whatsoever and the third is called “Best Friends”, but who knows... If this is the case I could make the argument this is about Zane or Moze, leaning towards Zane cuz he’s pretty covered up, plus I think “Best Friends” would be more Moze’s style lmao
I could also see this being a song about Troy... could explain all the ‘body mods’ and the missing arm.
“ProtoVision” by Kavinsky
If we’re going with the idea that these next few songs are about the Vault Hunters, then I imagine this would be Fl4k’s. It’s got that synth and some guitar which I think fits perfectly with his robo-hobo aesthetic lol
Other than that, I truly have no idea what part of the story this song could reference since there aren’t any lyrics. Maybe Promethea’s city? I could kinda see it, it sounds pretty high-tech
Similarly, “diatribe.” by Oliver Michael
the beginning gives me a whole meditation vibe which I kinda associate with Amara and her phasecast skill which “sends out an astral projection” of herself.
Then again, this could be the outskirts of the Promethean city... I could see myself wandering around the huge ass foliage and discovering an abandoned research base to this song idk
“Best Friends” by grandson
aaahh i love grandson. I think this could be a Moze-based song. I just get that vibe from her leather jacket... anyway
I also could totally see this as discovering Brick, Mordecai, and Tina in the research base (if that truly is where they are). Cause we saw them in the trailer hanging out there.
tbh the lyrics themselves kinda remind me of pre-Tales Rhys and Fiona and all their friends
“All of my best friends Like to go and get fucked up Then they talk about all the lives they never got to live Oh, they're still waiting for some sort of invitation It's never coming along, oh no, you'll get just what you give”
but idk if that’s what its meant for
“Bap U” by Party Favor
hmm another ‘lyricless’ song. not really lyric-less but uhhh the lyrics are pretty nonsensical lol
I could see there being a fight scene with Brick Tina and Mordy as AIs helping out here, maybe exploring the abandoned research base?
“Not Human” by elegant slims
oh you know what im going to say here hahaha
monster troy p l e a s e
i wouldn’t be surprised if Tyreen started accumulating more powers here, like perhaps the previous fight scene was over the Vault on Promethea and the twins were able to access it before us? and Tyreen gives the Vault Monster the succ
“Crack in the seams You're breaking through The animal inside of you You're not human anymore... Your eyes go black electric blue The animal inside of you Life on a string Watch it swing Hide your teeth”
and one (or both) of the twins start going feral lol
“Way Down We Go” by KALEO
one (1) fear and that’s that someone dies during the scene that corresponds to this song
hopefully its just the boys being depressed over a loss instead of a victory, but oof
anyway, you know what they say: “sometimes you gotta fall before you make it big” ;) thats a typhon deleon quote
“I’m a Wanted Man” by Royal Deluxe
I want to believe these next few songs are us recruiting the rest of the Vault Hunters not seen yet
I kinda associate this one with Axton since his whole History with DAHL, but who knows! It could be Gaige, too. or Maya since she looks like she’s being incredibly gay criminal on the Maliwan Monastery planet. Maybe both Axton and Gaige? I would love that
“The Devil You Know” by X Ambassadors
Could also be Axton! I lowkey think its Salvador or Timothy Lawrence. The reason I think its Timothy is cuz the whole song gives me huge Handsome Jack vibes, but it could also be Sal cuz I totally imagine him becoming a bounty hunter to fund his gun addiction lmao
“00000 Million” by Ella Vos
this one also gives off Maya vibes imo. I wouldn’t be surprised if this one is about her and the introduction of Little Blue. I could also see Athena and Janey here, just living their lives out in a cottage somewhere. awww
“Jungle” by Tash Sultana
Ahh a love song [pukes] Hopefully this one is about Athena and Janey, cuz there is a depressing lack of both of them in all the trailers we’ve seen! It sounds lowkey sad, though. I hope nothing happened to them D:
“Don’t Wait Up” by Dustbowl Revival
this one gives me very big Fiona and Sasha vibes.
Of course, there’s also the fact that the song is about a dad, and we still don’t know who the heck “the Father” is on all those Calypsos posters. We also dunno who in the heck “Mother” is, either. Sounds like Father left the cult, though, oof, and Mother stuck around. Wonder what that’s all about, maybe he felt like the twins were working fast/efficient enough and left to do things himself? Very lost on this idea tbh. the song seems very out of place, but it has to connect to something, yknow?
“Dies Irae” by Apashe and Black Prez
For those of you who don’t speak fluent Latin (the fuck guys?? lmao jk), the title means "Day of Wrath". Nice, nice, nice.
the lyrics, you might be asking:
“'Cause I'ma beast. Where you at? I've been unleashed. Whatchu doin'? Sink my teeth. Y'all can't fathom I'ma beast”
me: [vibrating in my seat] monster twins monster twins monster twins monster twins
at the very least this is definitely a fight scene here. Probably with the twins again (hopefully). Maybe they found some way to imbue the cultists with fucked up powers and are sending them against the VHs as giant demon things and as we fight through the temple (apparently with some Guardians) we realize the final one is Troy and/or Tyreen?
I like to imagine this is where Maya gets her powers stolen, if only because the next few songs... I think she’s around because she’s now the only person with Siren powers on the side of the Crimson Raiders, so they might need her help with the Vault in some way
“RAMPAGE” by GRAVEDGR
y’all wonder why I seemingly forgot about Krieg in the above songs? Well, this is why.
The only lyric for this entire song is “Bitch, I'm on a rampage- mask on my damn face”
I mean come on, Krieg with his psycho mask on, the fact his action skill is literally called “Buzz Axe Rampage”, the fact he loves Maya as shown in his introductory trailer... it’d be so perfect. And I bet badass psycho Krieg would be the only thing able to beat back whatever’s attacking at the moment. I’m just imagining him smashing down a wall and going apeshit
“Black Out Days” by Phantograms
Another song I think is about Krieg and Maya. I don’t think Maya does too hot in this game, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she gets the Roland treatment if you know what I’m saying. I wonder if this causes Krieg to devolve back into insanity cause the whole song seems to focus around that. I hope not D:
“Hide the sun I will leave your face out of my mind You should save your eyes A thousand voices howling in my head Speak in tongues I don't even recognize your face Mirror on the wall Tell me all the ways to stay away”
To be honest I could also see it being that Maya gets her powers stolen and thoughtlock-ed by the twins to fight on their side (as she’s seen fighting with the big demon elemental things), and maybe we have to kill her or hurt her in some way to get her to stop attacking us. God I hope not.
Let’s hope this is someway about the twins and definitely not about our favorite Siren and/or Psycho
“The Finishing” by Stavroz
oof i think somebody dies... If its not Maya, my best guess is Krieg or Lilith. Maybe Mordecai or Brick? Oh I hope not, I love both of them way too much for it to be healthy. But, hey, at least Tina learned some coping mechanisms :(
“Intro” and “Apocalypse Please” by Muse
merged these into 1 because Intro is like 15 seconds long and is literally the introduction to Apocalypse Please.
Definitely reaching the end of the game here...
“And it's time we saw a miracle Come on, it's time for something biblical To pull us through And pull us through And this is the end This is the end Of the world Proclaim eternal victory Come on and change the cause of history And pull us through”
I think the twins (or whoever may have become the main villain- perhaps the Eridians?) have claimed victory/gotten the ultimate power in one way or another, and/or this is the Crimson Raiders getting themselves ready for a final stand-off with the big bad evil guy.
I would really love if there’s a scene right at the end of this where the Twins have their huge “BOW TO ME” moment and then they just get COMPLETELY obliterated by a new villain. Just absolutely decimated.
New villain, like if they opened a Vault and whatever was being imprisoned there just wipes the floor with them (something like the Destroyer, if not the Destroyer itself), or fuck shit maybe even Tannis? or the Eridians looking for help in the war. or the Eridians bringing war. Who knows!
Again, could just be the Twins having gotten their hands on the end-game material, like realizing they can turn troy into big demon fuck (no i am not letting this one go) and we are kinda fucked now.
“Free Animal” by Foreign Air
I... have no idea lol
maybe Krieg getting rescued, maybe (one of?) the twins getting recruited by the Raiders for the final fight? It could fit into the ‘Beast’ imagery. Fuck, maybe even rescuing/finding Typhon or something? Idk, im kinda in the party that Typhon is going to be coming back some way or another lol, I’d love to meet the guy
“Dreams” by ZHU and Nero
This definitely sounds like a new BBEG has just been introduced or the big bads just entered the final phase of their plan, like the Crimson Raiders just learned about something life-changing and this is their “oh shit” moment
i wanna believe that the Eridians or another alien race (like the Seraphs!) are going to come in at the ‘end’ of the game and the Watcher is gonna be like “bitch did you really think I thought these dumbass ECHOnet streamers were the epitome of War??” I imagine we’d be on the side of the Eridians here, since y’know, the Watcher came to us for help.
Of course, the twins could still be the BBEG and have gotten their hands on that universe-destroying power that was described on the website (”to recover a map to ancient Vaults and prevent a universe-destroying power from falling into the wrong hands”) so maybe the Eridians called us in in order to meet and get help against the COV?
“Beyond the Fray” by Cassandra Violet
personally i think this one is about the Eridian homeworld
“I'll mark the day When we can meet beyond the fray Don't lose the will to see your home You find the way so we can meet beyond the fray I'll fight to see that you get home Consider this small clue Look beyond your point of view Make a space for honesty hide“
Wouldn’t even be surprised if someone made a sacrifice so we could get there... I imagine its hidden somewhere in the alternate dimension or wherever the Vaults lead to so it couldn’t be found, so maybe Lilith’s got her powers back at this point and she sacrifices herself to send us there?
idk...
“Outside the Realm” by Big Giant Circles
ah yes, another reason I think the end of the game involves the Eridian homeworld in some way. Have you heard this?? huge “we just stumbled upon a long-lost-alien-planet” vibe. I love it. Maybe even just a shot of Sanctuary III slowly gliding over the giant planet, having just exited phasewalk. God yes
“Battle Royale” by Apashe
another reason i think the final fight is some giant battlefield/wave fight instead of just against 1 or 2 enemies. not to mention the fact that the VH skills we’ve seen so far are crowd control based instead of raid boss focused.
Its likely the VHs against the Cult of the Vault, but if we defeat the Twins halfway through the game, then the Cult will dissolve on its own. Either way, I really really really really really want a huge fight against an army. I don’t care if its against the Children of the Vault, the Eridians/some Guardians, or if its against the Seraphs or a new set of aliens we’re gonna get (maybe whatever the Destroyer was/is?). idk idc i just want a huge battle. I imagine we’re on the Eridians’ side, as I said above, but who knows, maybe the Watcher went rogue.
oh and also, the next song:
“Doomsday” by NERO
oh hey, I recognize this song, it’s giving me major BL2 flashbacks lmao
Also the last song in the playlist, which is giving me the big fear (tm)
I imagine that we wouldn’t have been brought to the Eridian homeworld if it wasn’t kind of a huge deal, and what’s more of a huge deal than the end of the universe?!
that’s what i’d call doomsday, anyway.
could be the reason the Eridians are coming out of hiding after all this time. Either to stop our dumb human asses from opening the Vaults, or to get help against these alien fucks because our dumb human asses keep destroying their first line of defense- the Vault Monsters.
If the twins actually DO remain the main villains throughout the whole game, then I imagine this is them prepping to destroy the universe
but maaaan i really want some aliens... maybe the universe destroying power IS the aliens? aw hell yeah
#borderlands#borderlands 3#bl3#the calypso twins#writing 3 playlist#im so dead inside#maya the siren#maya#krieg the psycho#krieg#eridians
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Mods for skyrim
Are frustrating. Not at all like the sims. I have like a million mods on my sims game and it runs perfectly. Theres no issues. Every once in a great while a mod will fuck with the game and I have to remove it. But if I have more than 5 mods on Skyrim my game just goes to shit and gets choppy. I mean not literally I probably have like 12 mods, but most of the time when I try to add a new one my game gets fucked up and it has to go. It's not my laptop either, that things a beast sooo idk, but it's fine. I'm still loving Skyrim. It's a little scary. For me. Some of the creatures get me and I still scream everytime I have to fight a dragon. They're scary. Me when a dragon swoops down: nonononono fuuuuuuck!!! *rapidly clicking* nononono
And why is this bitch stealing my dragon souls? Can I fight him already? I want to fight this dude! I'm probably gonna die a million times but he needs to go.... also I'm very conflicted if I'm a bad guy or a good guy? I'm leader of the guardians and a part of the theives guild. I stopped doing theives guild things after they made me do a quest where I beat a lady up for tax money. That made me sad. Fuck those guys. I still like to steal though... just as more of a hobby, ya know? I dont want to beat up ladies for money. Im trying to make my character be a good well rounded individual... who occasionally steals stuff. And I think I'm a werewolf? They told me I am but I haven't noticed anything different about my character. I'm sure I have some kind of magic powers I'll explore that more later. I did just buy my own land and built my character a tricked out house. Still kinda feel like her house in solitude is better, but w/e it was fun making a house. I also need to figure out how to get a divorce. I married some mage and he annoys the hell out of me. Everytime I walk into my house he says "Hello my love!" And that's like one of the only 3 things he says. Our marriage is just me asking if he made any money and taking it and then leaving. So messed up! Also I have little orphan children. They're okay.... at least they're more available to interact with. Anyway.... this has been an update on my hermit life. Hope you enjoyed... 😂
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I’ve had a chat with ~someone~ and guessed it was The Time to publish this rant... SO. Speaking for both Jasper and Hendrik: what the FUCK was that (also beware of post game spoilers I guess)
I may not have continued to watch streams and LPs after the first Mordegon fight, but from what I’ve gathered from various posts and sources, Act 3 gives everyone a more-or-less happy ending, and then there’s that. Not to mention this ‘everyone’ almost definitely includes not only totally innocent people like Michelle, but also the mother who sacrificed fucking people to her ex-son, and Mia, who was literally in the exact same fucking boat as Jasper. (Speaking of which: out of everyone monsterified in any way or form, only Jade seems to remember what has happened to her to a degree- and she’s the only one who was not under the direct influence of Mordegon, SO... similarly to Mia and Carnelian, Jasper also must have little to no recollection from the past 15 to 25 years, but that’s a rant for another day. Someone really hates Heliodor’s top knights... one is fucked in every way, and the other cannot live a single decade without encountering something gravely traumatizing smh.) Time travel shit is hard to write, but DAMN, is this a fucking mess, especially considering everything else.
Like, okay, let’s start with the basic problem regarding these two dumbasses: Jasper has always been a little shit. We know that. But while mischievous, he’s also perfectly fine giving love and attention to people he likes, even if he's rather roundabout in expressing it. Seeing how diligent and eager he was to better himself while clutching that pendant, I’d say he’s one of those people who care a little too much about the people who count--- and feeling un- or underappreciated is the thing that can twist him into an attention hungry beast. tl;dr: he does expect the important people in his life to return the attention and care in due time, otherwise he becomes a ticking bomb and things will spiral out of control eventually. Now, what makes this complicated is that he’s too subtle in expressing himself in the first place, and will never be the one to walk up to someone with a “we need to talk”; thus, his needs or disdain go unnoticed by people like... well, Hendrik. I love that man as much as anyone else, and he’s super, if not comically heroic, but damn is he an absolute idiot when it comes to personal relations, not to mention his almost robotic hulk-smash tunnel vision when it comes to Carnelian. Chivalrous to a fault, indeed. (I actually like that this is treated as a problem, because it damn straight is. Hell, prioritizing work over everything else is a fairly important catalyst in things ending up the way they are. It is the reason he blindly trusts the king even after finally realizing something’s really wrong with Jasper, and why latter had drifted away until the distance became an unsurmountable chasm. (I kind of see the husband&wife sidequest for the coral to be a good parallel to this situation ngl))
Let’s not even complicate things by raking the king into the equation as a likely father figure to both of them who had apparent favoritism going on, and what effects Mordegon taking over him had on Jasper, shall we? (I personally prefer the option of him approaching Jasper soon after the fall of Dundrasil. With Jasper being one of the smartest people in the game, (if not THE smartest motherflunker around,) maybe he even noticed something was off. Which, may I add, makes him the only one who could notice once Jade was gone. Get those two out of the picture, and you’re SET, man.)
To summarize, one’s too roundabout, the other’s too dumb, and this is why these two will keep talking past each other fiveever. Not even a mermaid’s whole, entire lifetime would be enough for these two to sort things out on their own, which is why they’d need an outsider to nudge them in the right direction. The only two who are in the active position to do so are the Hero and Mordegon. We’ve seen how latter plays out- the Lord of Shadows is much more invested in manipulating people’s weaknesses into killing their friends and family (see also: Mia). So it would be on us to kick them in the shin, right? Except we get no fucking options to do so.
The worst part of it is how easily they could have gone with more insteresting shit. I’ve seen some PC mods already regarding costumes, and you know what? Dubbing problems be damned, I’d give my lunch money tenfold for a mod that gets you a mentally unstable monster tamer Jasper for Act 3 into the team instead of Hendrik who’s forcibly mordegonized instead, even though I don’t have the game, and likely never will. Just this one change is a good enough setup to easily throw a decent storyline together, no??? I bet it wouldn’t be hard to keep the ultimate uberboss for after this shit as a nice bonus, either.
Let’s not even get started on the party dynamics. He’d be suspicious of the Luminary and expect to be used and thrown away as soon as he’s outlived his usefulness, bacause apparently that’s all he’s good for... but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Cat fights with the other Black Mage material Veronica? Yes. Chatting with Sylvia about Hendrik being as thick as a brick wall both physically and mentally?? Hell Yes. Hitting it hilariously well off with Serena and bonding over shit like being lowkey savage and cakes??? HELL FUCKING YES. Him and Erik not even remembering who this other motherfucker is so they can start on decent terms? They are basically the dog and cat type of the same person so it would be a fucking treat to watch that mess unfold. (in case it wasn’t clear thus far: I’d rather take an altered Act 2 with an Act 3 on top; still post-apocalyptic and somber, but with better outlooks, and healing time for wounds. Just... striking a better balance of hope and despair, you feel? Not everything has to be 90% perfect or 90% depressing.) And JADE, guys, JADE. She could just be the missing link to break Jaspers LVL 99 Mistrust Barrier and make all those other things possible. Apart from maybe Rab, she’s the only one around who knows him to an extent; it would give her some of that much needed active character development, AND be a display of her diplomatic skills as a soon-to-be-ruler. Two birds with one fucking stone, I tell ya. Just thinking about this makes me feel robbed.
Also, party members mean pep powers. Some sly shit with Erik. An ultimate Charm Nuke feat. Jade&Sylv. A Double Re-Vamp where he beats up shit with former while everyone watches in horror. One last power exclusive for the last boss where Hendrik joins the two of them that’s referencing Heliodor’s two headed eagle.
Ah, and there’s the obligatory face-off with Hendrik... and Carnelian, I suppose. Might keep the old dude around to make sure mr knightiest knight no-brains orders... anyway. That shit. That shit would be 100% psychological warfare directed at Jade and Jasper. And actually Evil™ Greg (aka Hendrik, sorry, I love that nickname from a JP playthrough) could totally bring out the receipts on both of them. It wouldn’t even be OOC because A: he spent time with baby Jade, and B: Mordegon knows like 99% of Jasper’s emotional baggage anyway. That shittalk would work like a charm, and dig under the lad’s skin, I tell ye. And past the humiliation and hurt, Jasper would also get fucking pissed and just tackle Hendrik to the ground before punching the fuck outta him, because feeling betrayed or not, even he knows that Hendrik would never, ever say something like that to his, save Jade’s face. It would be to no avail as our Wall of Meat could kill p much anyone by just flexing on their neck... But that’s also a perfect moment to pull an “if only there was someone who loved you” that would rattle everyone’s jimmies in- and outside of the game.
Man.
(I seriously don’t expect anyone to program this shit on the spot, but I may or may not be halfway done with some more-or-less episodic fic chapters that I also may or may not finish sometime, and y’all are free to contribute yourselves, too)
#dq11#dqxi#dragon quest 11#dragon quest xi#dragon quest#rereading this reminded me how pissed I was when writing it lmao#wall of text
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Quick Game Reviews: What I played 2018
I’m gonna go ahead and do this for the whole year, which includes games that WEREN’T released this year, but I played this year. I also made this throughout the year, so most the opinions were right after I played it and if it’s been updated further might not include that in my blurb.
I needed to type and felt like I needed to make something. This might motivate me I suppose. Let’s get started
DOOM 2016 [PC]
I grew up on Pokemon, Mario, and Doom II. I couldn’t play it until I got my new computer this year so yeah way too late. This is a pretty solid game, though thanks to all of the bonuses and honestly nearly intrusive leveling up system kinda stepped in the way of the raw combat. It’s obviously my choice, but I felt encouraged to spend a lot of time exploring areas I’d already cleared rather than run and gun.
That being said, I still loved it. The secrets were, for the most part, really clever and fun anyway and the combat is delicious. I would strongly recommend this
A Hat in Time + Seal the Deal DLC [PC]
I love this game. A lot. It’s really cute and looks really good, it’s got a ton of charm, and it’s honestly a very good time overall. I 100% the base game last year when it first came out, and I would highly recommend to fans of 3D platformers, and still worth a try if you’re on the fence on them. The mod support is also great that it’s in there and I want to try that a lot. however the DLC...
So the new level is pretty short and while it’s fun, it’s not as good as the other levels. The characters (I think) are really cute and the charm is all there and that great, but it has all of 3 levels, and 2 of them are exploring the exact same places (the boat) and the 3rd is a nice twist on that, but other than that it’s pretty barren. The time rifts were fun as well, but alone... eh. The Death Wish portion, that is the super hard challenge mode...
... is not good. Obviously my opinion, and I might be missing the point, but after having been frustrated over and over and over again, the game itself is just not tight or clean enough to warrant it. My backing for this is that a large portion of the challenges rely on originally unintended level geometry or quirky mechanics in order to complete, and having challenges that require you to be in the know about these honestly inconsistent “quirks” is just not good. Specific examples: the ice hat giving you a small boost to avoid jumping in challenges is alright but fluctuates in how much height it gives you a lot, the challenges around the train chase still have the wonky hitboxes that do not line up with what’s still on screen, and the parade challenge has an invisible hitbox on the main platform that can kill runs. In short If you have found you love the main game and are a bit of a masochist, go for the DLC.
Pokémon Ultra Sun [3DS]
This is more or less just a revisit of the same generation with some very minor changes. The story changes take the focus away from Lillie and Lusamine (and as a result how interesting the former and evil the latter are) and places it on Necrozma and Ultra Beasts. I really like what they did with Necrozma, but overall it feels like a lot less. And while the Rainbow Rocket post game was nice and fun nostalgia, it’s still missing a solid post game like B2W2 or Gen II had.
Ultra Wormholes are cool though, and all the good mechanics from SM are still there, so honestly I would recommend this if you haven’t played gen 7 and like Pokémon.
Hey! Pikmin [3DS]
It’s awful. I can’t think of a reason to pick this up.
I can rant about this for years, but it basically got the Zip Lash/ Sticker Star treatment: it took a franchise known for something and made it something else that was bad. It’s an incredibly slow puzzle “platformer” where you have to collect a bunch of treasure using pikmin you find in the level, it’s laggy even on a n3DS, and even though the point of the game is to collect enough treasure to leave, if you do that they’re all like “by the way, you still have to beat the final boss” so the entire auto-collecting side game you put your pikmin into is entirely pointless. This is honestly the worst 3DS game I played this year.
Hollow Knight [PC]
So I’m normally not that great with the games-that-are-pretty-dang-hard, and this was no exception. That said however, I did get pretty far (probably) before I got to a boss fight I just couldn’t beat (It was an onslaught of rolling knights in the raining city or something, it’s been a while). And after that I tried finding more power-ups and stuff to help, but I had to set it down after getting bottlenecked there. That being said, I can very easily see why people like this hardcore metroid-vania platformer, and would still recommend it if you’re into the Dark Souls style of high difficulty and mechanical mastery in other genres.
Axiom Verge [PC]
This is another Metroid-style game. I really liked this one as well, especially how its power-ups weren’t the traditional “You jump higher now” traversal power-ups. It really has a nice atmosphere and theme that still feels alien and metroidy while also feeling like the glitchy world by giving you weapons and movement abilities that let you glitch and change the environment around you. I really liked it! My only real complaint is the bosses get really challenging through a result of eventually figuring out what weapon and strategy is was designed for, and there are some areas that I was completely lost trying to find where I was going next, but all in all it’s pretty solid.
Octodad: Dadliest Catch [PC]
I normally really hate games where the focus is “lol, you can barely control your character! hahaha.” I actually really liked this one; it isn’t hard to get the hang of it and it’s really funny and still enjoyable at the same time. I rarely actually felt annoyed at the controls. I had a ton of fun with it, even if it was a little short.
Kirby Star Allies [Switch]
My complaints are very much the same as everyone else’s here; it’s a pretty okay Kirby game, but it lacks real challenge and is pretty quick. the real “star” of the show is playing the game with different characters, but since you can’t do that until after you play through as Kirby, by that point it’s either grown on you or hasn’t. The best part is the unique levels they made for the DLC characters, Gooey, Marx, Dreamland buddies, etc. Those are a ton of fun. If you like Kirby games, this one’s no Super Star but you’ll likely love all the attention to the free DLC characters and it’s not bad by any stretch.
HOB [PC]
It’s a 3D, top-down Zelda style game with an emphasis on some platforming elements. The world is wonderful, definitely the Aesthetic with clockwork worlds that Spiral Knights wishes it could’ve had. I actually had a ton of fun with it. The secrets and exploration were great, combat is ehhhhhh but that’s not really the focus. It’s a good time, If you like Zelda but with some puzzle platforming and great atmosphere, check this one out!
Poi [PC]
This is a Unity 3D platformer that attempted to brush off the Unity, and does an alright job with being mechanically tighter than most, but still has the Unity feel. Controls are a bit loose, could’ve used a lot of polish, but honestly this scratched the 3D platformer collect-a-thon itch for a bit and I actually 100% it. You have to love 3D platformers like Sunshine or Banjo Tooie to be able to like this, but if you do it’s a pretty fun romp.
Princess Remedy In a Heap of Trouble [PC]
This is a fun, short bullet-hellish game with an old-school Atari aesthetic. It’s pretty fun, but honestly I like the mechanics in the free game better (though this has more content). It’s fun, it’s funny, it’s quirky (and kinda short), try out the free game and if you like that one give this a try! The main difference is the “date” mechanic, where people you heal can join you to give you a different special power from healing, to various kinda of bombs, time freezing, homing bullets, etc. Once you find one though, it’s hard to convince yourself to try something else.
Splatoon 2: Octo Expansion [Switch]
This is Splatoon 2′s expanded hard/challenge mode. I’m a big fan; a few of the challenges are eh, but overall the aesthetic and branching map structure are super fun. The expanding on the lore and bonuses are also great; even though earlier I don’t normally go for the extremely hard, I found myself 100%’ing this. There’s a really tough challenge at the very end of all that, and I would say If you liked Splatoon 2, pick this up. It’s the expansion of Single Player that it deserves, though prepare for a few frustrating challenges.
... But now you have to pay for a terrible service to play it online so keep that in mind...
Celeste [Switch]
This is a fucking great game and you should buy it. It’s a challenging (very hard) platformer in the line of super meat boy and maybe even I Wanna Be The Guy, but this does it extremely right. restarting is very quick, the controls are incredibly tight, and the levels are genuinely clever and fun.
The story is also really solid, and I can’t recommend the whole package as a solid game.
Grow Up [PC]
This is the sequel to Grow Home, a game I’ve quick-reviewed a long time back. I liked the whole explore a whole planet and find some neat stuff, however the challenges are reliant on some weird procedural animations which don’t necessarily cooperate. It kinda overstays it’s welcome as a result, though the open nature of it is really fun. I have a hard time recommending this one, but it’s still a pretty solid romp even if it fights you a bit.
Sonic Mania Plus [Switch]
Having 100% the base game which I highly recommend, I was expecting a lot more things to do with this. Encore mode is fun; I really like how you can change up your characters and have to adjust on the fly. The new special stages are tough but fun, but the pinball minigame is.. not good. Gets old pretty quick. additionally it doesn’t add much after encore mode. Might and Ray have abilities that meaningfully add some neat gameplay stuff, but after how great the base game was, I was expecting a little bit more. That being said, the DLC is a nice bonus for the base game and you can’t really go wrong with it.
Lovely Planet [PC]
So I made a point to only play this game when I was drunk. The first few times I happened to be when I played it, so I stuck with it. This is a quick-restarting FPS with a focus on perfect shots and maneuvering to destroy all the target and get to the end as soon as possible.It’s hard as balls but really silly, so if you’re into perfectionist gameplay it’s worth a go. Probably not drunk tho.
Ever Oasis [3DS]
IIRC, this came out at a time where there was a lull in Nintendo games, or at least 3DS games so this one was very much skimmed over. It’s a mix between a town management sim and Zelda-style dungeon crawling and resource gathering. On paper, and even somewhat in game, this is a cool idea; you get townsfolk who can go with you on missions, each with their own abilities, and what you get outside of the town is used to help expand you town, which will buff you/your townspeople's abilities to go further in dungeons.
In practice however... they don’t really mesh. The limitation of 1 item per party member and items being locked to specific people you need to find, going to dungeons is a chore as you need to find out which characters you need to actually play (often not your best). Meanwhile, time passes so quickly and your town’s shopkeepers run out of resources so quickly, it’s a full time job to keep up the town and then you run out. They mitigate this near the end game by have the ability to make parties out of townspeople who can’t own shops, which are very rare. The ending is good up until the last moment where they do a thing that doesn’t make sense to get some points for emotion but... It just doesn’t work to me.
All in all, it has a demo to show how a dungeon works, and if you like management AND what that dungeon has to offer, go for it. Otherwise, the setting and character design are great but not enough to really hold interest
Q.U.B.E. 2 [PC]
The First game was Portal-esque in that you navigated the first-person Cube puzzle maze without any dialogue while manipulating the chambers with a variety of cube-spawning and extending abilities. You had to piece out and interpret the story yourself. This is the opposite; there’s a lot of dialogue, story set-pieces, and it’s bizarrely paced. You’ll get through most the game in like an hour, but then the last 2-3 chapters are the bulk of the game. Those are pretty fun, but the game is still incredibly short and I liked the tone of the first better. It’s short, it’s not bad, but it doesn’t really stand out.
NES Classic
So I dunno if I love or hate this thing. It’s great because it’s an official NES with controller and emulator and gives me the opportunity to play a buncha games I hadn’t before, but the controller cable is too small, the damn thing has trouble getting enough power (EDIT: This was actually my aparement’s faulty wiring, though if you aren’t supplying it with enough power the sound won’t work either), and this things existence is probably part of the reason we’ve not seen a proper virtual console support on Switch. You can hack it to be able to upload other ROMs to it, which is neat (I haven’t done that), but ultimately it’s worth looking at the games and asking yourself: Do I really want to play most of these? Do I really want to buy this when I’ve already bought most of them?
SNES Classic
This is the same as above but more expensive with less games... But to me is a better value. It has a better selection of games (in my opinion), though they could’ve included some better ones. It still has the power issues (which are overcomable easily) but comes with 2 controllers with longer cables. Also StarFox 2 is a very nice game. I’d recommend this more than the NES Classic, but again, weigh what’s in it vs what you actually want to play if you can’t already
WarioWare Gold [3DS]
This is a compilation game done right. It has the WarioWare charm and the voice acting adds even more to it. The microgame selection and adaptations are wonderful, and honestly I don’t have any complaints. It has changed everything to fit in one of 3 (+2 smaller ones) categories: Mash, Twist, and Touch (+ blow and short). These are normally separate by category, but near the end they mix and match and even do some fun mix-up with it in the very last rounds and bonus game modes. Whether your first WarioWare or a veteran, this is in my opinion the best in the series, and I would suggest you give it a go.
Monster Hunter World [PC]
So this one is hard. I really wanted to like it, and after playing Dauntless I thought I would. I even promised friends I would play it with them frequently and keep up but... between friends being able to play when I couldn’t and the game’s wonky controls and online issues, I was falling behind and getting frustrated. That’s kinda side stuff; if I really liked it I could’ve caught up. The truth is, I liked Dauntless better because while it was also very buggy, the combat was just a lot more straightforward and responsive. Monster Hunter seemed like Dauntless with a bunch of annoyances added onto it. There are tons of collectibles and recipes, weapon sharpness is entirely pointless when the monsters run anyway to give you breaks, the weapons I played seemed sluggish to attack with, and monster attacks were unclear a lot of the time. Everything just felt like a pain in the ass or waste of time to deal with and put a lot of focus on inventory management or grinding, and to me the core game you would do that for just wasn’t there.
Like I enjoyed the free roaming and exploration, but the fighting is just not for me and that’s the whole point of the free roaming and all that. I feel bad about not liking this after enjoying Dauntless, but I just am not into Monster Hunter and will be skipping the series from now on.
Katamari Forever [PS3]
I got this one thinking it was a compilation game of all the Katamari games!
It was not. It’s actually the hardest Katamari game... Which kinda surprised me about how much of a dick they are when you start out since their controls are incredibly weird and unintuitive (you get used to them) and anything short of perfection will get the Kings to any where from passive aggressively imply you did poorly or just straight out call you awful and not to bother.
Here’s the part where randomly in the giant text post I just completely break whatever I was talking about because I’m 95% no one actually reads this so for shits and giggles the first person to reply to my tweet where I posted a link to the blogpost stating that they found this paragraph will get a free me replying back to that tweet saying “nice” back. An enticing gift amirite? Anyway continuing on.
That being said, it’s pretty fun after all that; there are one or two levels designed to be super annoying but the ones where you play the core game of quickly building your Katamari are for the most part very solid. This is for existing fans of the series, but i had a pretty good time with it after I got past the barrier to entry.
Shantae: Half-Genie Hero: Ultimate Edition [PC]
I’ve talked about liking Shantae before on this blog; I mentioned that I liked Pirate’s Curse but the fact that side missions and collectibles were actually required for game completion. This Shantae looks great and all, but they completely tossed out the open-like nature and makes it a series of linear levels that you have to revisit at least 2-3 times to find the stuff that should’ve been off somewhere in a different series of areas and optional that’s really just slightly out of reach due to a power up you arbitrarily find after the level you needed to use it in ends. Dungeons are completely gone; the game literally is just “go right” and remember all the little things you couldn’t get to for when you have to backtrack over and over again.
That’s just the base game, and even with all that said it’s not a bad game, it just doesn’t really feel like a Shantae game anything other than aesthetically. I spent a few hours trying to 100% the base game, but after getting 99% and discovering I had to backtrack yet again to a snake merchant to trade for dances just to use them once and trade back, I just had 0 interest in getting the final percent. There are also a variety of different takes on the same campaign where you play as Shantae in different costumes with different abilities, Risky, or even Bolo + Skye + Rotty, and again those look fun but... I don’t really want to play the same game another 10 times.
Dragalia Lost [Android]
This is Nintendo’s first jump into mobile with a new IP, and while it’s definitely banking hard on more traditional gacha mechanics (you can get 5 star items instead of Hero characters only), it’s definitely not bad. It’s pretty generous with stamina and resources, at least when you start, and my only major complaint is how you seem to hit a wall in terms of how long it takes to really progress about a week or so of playing every day in. And it’s quite a wall; there’s quite a lot of grinding needed once you get to chapter 6 (the current final chapter that really feels like just the end of a prologue (Edit, they recently added chapter 7)), so you really need to like it. The levels are kinda simple as well, though there’s a maze-like area in the story that’s a bit more clever so it’s a start at least. All and all, it’s worth a try, but if you don’t like the top-down brawler after the first world, it’s not worth forcing through gacha mechanics for; especially since after you complete normal story mode, all you’re going to be doing is grinding to get through hard and the summoning currency gets scarce fast. For reference, getting enough to be able to challenge the High Dragon quests and not immediately die in them takes 2 months of grinding specifically for that purpose if you use your stamina optimally, which you won’t because events are more fun anyway
Overcooked 2 [Switch Download]
So this is actually really fun with a friend or 3; and that’s where it really shines. Sure, you can do it single player but it just doesn’t feel as fun. This is a sort of quick time-management game where you have to frantically run around cooking various recipes before they run out of time, to get a star rating at the end. There’s some bad levels, but the majority are really fun and it feels very fair even in single layer; I always think at the end regardless of the rank that I could’ve managed my dudes to do even better. The only real complaint is the loading times seem... unnecessarily long. Especially for restarting a level. It’s nothing too bad though.
Luckily this has online multiplayer, so I highly recommend picking this up on a platform that your friends have it on, ie Steam. I got it on Switch and in hindsight since I strongly dislike Nintendo’s online service I really wish I had gotten like a 2-pack on Steam. That’s not a complaint with the game though; I really liked it!
Super Mario Party [Switch]
Probably the best Mario Party in a very, VERY long time. This is going to be a longer review. I played this first with Keewy and his roommates and we had a great time in every single game mode (except online).
The Mario Party mode is really good; they’ve shrunk the map and reduced how much stars cost to 10 coins, but 10-15 turn games can still take an hour to an hour and a half. This makes it a much simpler, easier to get mode, but the real star here is them bringing back the Ally & character dice mechanic from Mario Party Star Rush (had it’s good moments, but was on 3DS so that’s it for that). Each character can roll a normal 1-6 dice, but they also each have a unique die that has different numbers on it. These are for the most part balanced; character with higher numbers on their dice also have downsides instead of a 1. 0′s, losing coins, and in some cases gaining coins (because you still don’t move), and it adds a level of strategy to it where otherwise it would be just “roll and hop for the best. That’s what it is still, but sometimes you can choose. You can also pick up other characters who will help you in minigames, give you the option to roll their die, and add 1-2 spaces to your roll. It’s super fun.
The River Rafting mode is 4-player co-op, and it’s pretty fun as well your first run through. Not single player though; this very much shines with 4 people. However, because there are only like 8? 4-player co-op minigames, you see every game on your first run so it doesn’t really hold up after your first couple runs.
The dance mode is great; it’s like Rhythm heaven but Mario Party themed. Again, these minigames are really fun, but once you play through all 3 difficulties, which takes about 10 minutes, there aren’t any you haven’t played.
2v2 is ripped straight out of Star Rush, which is a great thing. Again, don’t play this with a cpu on your team at least. As far as I can tell, even in Mario Party mode, CPU’s make the same brain-dead decisions on the boards regardless of their difficulty level. Anyway, this has the same 4 boards but opened up vastly; You now roll, combine it with your partner, then add any allies you may have picked up along the way’s 1-2 rolls and other bonuses. The point is to land on the starspace and buy it, and it’s just a good time to see the strategy involved with either going for the stars, allies, or secondary goals. By far the best alternative Mario Party gameplay style in a while (way better than Island Tour’s linear maps and 9-10′s Car mode), but again there’s only the 4 maps.
So I guess my only true complaint is that while there are a lot of minigames, they’re split so much over the different modes they don’t feel like a lot and you see repeats frequently. Additionally it would be nice to turn on/off the bonus stars at the end and other options involving maybe skipping some of the cutscenes (star moving, places changed, etc.). All in all, the best and most interesting Mario Party in a long, long time. I highly recommend it if you have a friend to pick it up with.
Just Shapes & Beats
Got this game for a bit of random multiplayer. It’s a pretty fun, music based bullet hell game all about staying alive through the song while crazy stuff happens on screen. The story mode doesn’t overstay its welcome, but there’s also plenty of content and challenges for those who are so inclined, and only one of the levels felt utterly, bullshitingly unfair (which is really good with bullet hells) so It’s a fun time if you’re into top down bullet hells, and better with a friend in challenge mode
Pokémon Let’s Go Eevee [Switch]
I could write a dissertation on this game and how it’s neither good or bad; it’s just kinda... there. Some aspects are incredibly disappointing; the capture mechanics are absolute garbage, forced motion controls are atrocious, player/npc animations and interactions are completely stilted and lazy, the world is very bland vs Sun and Moon, the performance in handheld mode drops frames sometimes which is unacceptable, there’s almost zero post game, and even more. It’s by all means an HD reskin of a Gameboy game running on their crappy 3DS engine.
But there’s a lot of good here as well; seeing pokemon in the overworld is amazing and should be the case in the series moving forward, partner pokemon (eevee) are fun and fucking adorable, riding pokemon is great, having fast captures makes chaining a really fun mechanic, Having some of the E4 and Gym leaders interact with you during your quest makes the world interesting, connectivity with go is very limited but still good, having only one pokemon be obtainable only once in the game is a welcome and frankly overdue change in the game, removing breeding/abilities/held items really streamlines the mechanics and makes the game more enjoyable in a lot of cases, and I could go on.
I’m not going to recommend it, but I mean if you liked any pokemon game you’re definitely not going to not have fun with this one, even if the randomness in the capture mechanics frustrates you to no end
Super Smash Bros Ultimate [Switch]
So I mean it’s smash bros. Not much really to say about that, it’s pretty good. I kinda like Smash Bros not just for the multiplayer but the single-player as well, which is why Brawl is still my Favorite so take that as my approach here. The normal gameplay is fine, though the input buffer feels wonky at times and some characters are much harder to play against than others, which in combination with the sheer amount of characters makes it very difficult to get the hang of and counter accordingly, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s just the barrier between playing casually and playing a bit more seriously feels sudden when randomly coming across characters that have inherent advantages from being wonky. Cloud for example seems to have a move for evertyhing, can spit out attacks very quickly, and if you try anything silly they’ll just charge a better move, and then randomly fighting a Ganondorf is like “I hope they don’t know how to read you because you can die at like 35 from a single fuck up”
The Single Player content though was... Disappointing. Not nearly as bad as Sm4sh, but it seems like they spent so much time putting as many characters and stages in the game as possible that they realized they wouldn’t have time to do old game modes the same way, so they made a system which allowed them to make custom smash battles with weird attributes and built the entirety of the bonus content on that. There’s really only adventure mode which is just a progression of Event Matches which gets somewhat stale and repetitive quickly, Mob Smash is just not really that fun past your first run or two, All-Star Smash is actually near impossible and not even rewarding, Classic does one or two cool ideas with routes but they clearly got lazy with a lot of characters there too, and the only platforming challenge in the game is the bonus level which takes 30 seconds and never changes.
Their Online mode is unacceptably bad and lacks options for random fights as well, and given that they’re charging for it this is just flat-out unacceptable. Buy it if you like playing Smash for the Multiplayer (which is almost everyone), but this is a hard pass if you were expecting a large amount of interesting content like Brawl’s Adventure mode had. Or are incapable of learning past a certain point, like me.
Katamari Damacy Reroll [Switch]
So after having played Forever earlier in the year and hearing how much praise this got, I had very High expectations! Unfortunately the controls are still ehhhhh and the game is surprisingly short; I beat it over the course of a 4ish hour flight. It’s definitely a lot nicer to you than Forever is, but in terms of amount of content it’s not aged well. If you’ve not played it before, pick it up on sale, but as far as I can tell this outing doesn’t add anything new to the original and it’s just a straight up re-release
Mario Tennis Aces [Switch]
So does anyone actually look forward to Mario Tennis Games? The past two have been husks of content and this one’s not really much better. The charging mechanic is interesting, but doesn’t feel that consistent or fair in some scenarios, but like was anyone waiting for this to get announced? Or is this just a “safe” series that sells okay and pads out the library for quick cash?”
It’s weird that they knew the Adventure mode was something fans really, REALLY wanted and touted it as some huge deal, even advertising it with a cool pre-rendered cutscene, and the whole mode with all challenges turns out to be at most a couple hours long, repetitive, and only actually has the two cutscenes (the 2nd being like 10 seconds). They made some silly RPG level up mechanic which didn’t feel like it made any difference, you can’t change your character so you’re really only learning how Mario plays, and it does a really poor job of explaining the different kinds of shots to you so it’s not even good for learning the game. I wasn’t expecting an experience worth telling for generations with the plot either, but even that gives up on itself; Luigi is possessed but he doesn’t do anything the whole game until you fight him, not even with the 3/5 power stones you have, and these power stones you spent the game collecting don’t do anything or matter because Bowser comes out of no where and “takes” the racket and power stones and challenges you to an admittedly fun boss fight. Not in a cutscene mind you, you’re just told this happens. It’s just lazy.
The game has some visual issues too; it’s missing any sort of stylistic flair and honestly just looks like an up-res’d Wii game, though with smoother models. Shadows flicker and cut through textures, and something weird’s going on with anti-aliasing that makes everything look blurry as hell too. I will say props for going to the effort of making tennis costumes for every character though; so that’s more effort than what went into Ultra Smash.
If you’re a huge, HUGE fan of Mario Tennis, go nuts. But uh, yeah this isn’t really worth your time for the price otherwise
Starlink: Battle for Atlas (Starter Pack) [Switch]
Yeah so it’s rich coming from me, but honestly this game is only hindered by the physical toys. As far as I can tell you can only play as generic Mr. No Personality or Fox, and then you only have the two options for weapons. The game could get interesting combat-wsie with the combinations of ships and like I think 14ish different weapons? But with just the starter pack you run through what the game has to offer pretty quick.
It is interesting though how I very rarely play Ubisoft games and hadn’t played one since their open-world formula milking, but right away I could tell that it was a Ubisoft open world game. There’s a lot to do, a lot of planets to explore, movement is fun and surprisingly easy, combat is pretty straightforward and has potential, but the key thing is that there’s like 30-50 facilities on each planets with like 4 different types of objectives (3 of which are “kill the same bad guys immediately here”), and you can spend hours on one planets doing some minor variance on that same thing over and over and over.
It’s a pretty good start in terms of base mechanics for what would be a cool system for an open StarFox game (and I know it wasn’t trying for that) but the repetitiveness of exploring, frankly pathetic writing in terms of characters, and locking a lot of the interesting content behind toys detracts from the experience. It’s definitely not un-fun, but after clearing 4 planets and seeing that’s just what the game is doing I don’t have any interest in continuing.
At least other than to see StarFox, because Ubisoft did them better justice than Nintendo has in years.
Best Game I Played in 2018: Celeste
Easy choice here, Celeste has a wonderful story, looks gorgeous, plays like a dream and managed to be an incredibly challenging platformer that didn’t make me lose my patience ever, which is AMAZING considering how little patience I have whenever I fail at a game.
I was going to pick the best game that actually came out in 2018 but honestly it’d be between like 4 games that I had gripes with in some way or another, so i’m going to say Overcooked 2 is pretty fucking solid and leave this whole run on sentence in the heading font because why not it’s my dead blog I can do whatever the fuck I wan-
Anyway that’s it. Hope everyone had a good year
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