#anyways. it’s like eleven here and I have to stop crying now so

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

not sure how to word this but I was thinking about the older queers. just thinking about them. I hope they know how much they’ve impacted my life

[lostintransist]

This Bunny Bites | Part 8

Check out part 1 here. Shout out to @gildui for the divider!

When Ghost enters the rented house he hears the retching first. He takes the stairs two at a time and finds Price at the top of the stairs. He nods to Ghost.

“He’s been in there since she left. He has got to be tossing up acid at this point.” Price rubs a finger and thumb through his brows. “You are his best friend and better for things like this, despite your teacup of an emotional range.”

Ghost glared at his captain, but didn’t argue the statement. No use fighting over the truth. Price stepped around him, starting down the stairs.

“Let me know if we will need the stronger drinks to get through tonight.”

Pushing the door open he sees Soap. Face in the bowl, body collapsed against the porcelain. Even his mohawk listlessly leans to one side. Ghost sits down next to him, back against the wall. It takes a moment of adjusting to find a comfortable position that doesn’t leave his feet or knees stuck at a painful angle.

“She was maybe fifteen when the bastard kicked me out.”

His voice came out with a slight echo and muted all at once.

Ghost waited.

Soap pushes up from the toilet bowl, face ashen.

“We share a dad. Her mom died when she was nine and she came to live with us. I was eleven or barely twelve and we didn’t get along. I didn’t want her there but dear old dad fought for her in court. Her grandmother wanted her and used up a lot of money to get her. Once the courts ruled that she had to live with us our dad moved us across the country and left no forwarding address.” He pulls a hand across his mouth, dry heaving against it.

“I didn’t understand that us moving wasn’t her fault. I hated her for being the reason I had to leave all my friends behind. I had hoped that I would get beat less with another person there to share in his anger. If anything having her there meant we both got beat more. Blamed her for that too.”

Soap slid back from the toilet, repeatedly banging his head against the wall. He only stopped when Ghost slid his hand behind his friend’s head to catch the blow. Soap’s tears started then.

“I hated her for everything that was our father’s fault. The day I left he took a swing at me and I had had it. I swung back at him and knocked him flat on his ass. His head hit the counter on the way down. He passed out. I panicked. I ran to my room and threw everything I could into a bag. I had to get out of there. Bunny heard the commotion and found Dad passed out on the kitchen floor. She knew it had to have been me. She was only fourteen, maybe fifteen. She begged me to take her. Begged me. I didn’t want to. She was the reason for all my problems and I had to leave her there. She tried to block the door to my room with her small body. I pushed her. She fell and I stepped over her. I grabbed all my important documents from Dad’s room and left. Bunny didn’t move from the hallway floor, just sobbed as I left her behind.���

Ghost let his friend cry. He pulled Soap’s head to his shoulder, offering strength in the only way he knew how. Lord knew he couldn’t help at all if he tried to talk.

“Why do you call her Bunny?” he asked after Soap had sat silent for nearly five minutes.

“She had a stuffy when she got dropped off by child services. She hugged that thing so tight I worried it might explode in her arms. She wouldn’t speak when she arrived. I had to call her something so I just started calling her Bunny. By the time she was ten she hated the nickname, so obviously being the punk I was I called her nothing else.”

They slid into silence once again. After a few minutes, Ghost opened his mouth to speak.

Soap cut him off.

“I know it’s not my fault what he did to her. Even if I had stayed he might have done it anyway. There is nothing I could have done to save her beyond killing the bastard. I know that Simon,” his voice broke, “I know I should have been a better brother. And I want to be now. I want a chance to have a sister, not an enemy.”

“I was actually going to ask if you wanted to send Gaz for some ice cream but I’m glad you know it’s not your fault. We have enough sins to our names, no use adding other peoples to the list.” Ghost replies dryly.

Soap laughs, “Yeah, let’s send Gaz for some ice cream. I still want to punch him in the face from Bunny calling him ‘lover boy’.” He threw up air quotes around the reference.

“I mean she is pretty fucking ho-”

Ghost is cut off when Soap’s fist meets his ribs.

“Finish the fucking sentence and I will gut you in your sleep,” he growled.

Standing Ghost offered a hand down to Soap.

“Come on, let’s go tell Gaz about his new job.”

Soap grabbed the offered hand and pulled himself up.

“Thanks for being my best friend Ghost.”

“Don’t mention it, no one else will believe you.”

The phone ringing is what wakes you. Blinking against the bright light of your phone you can make out the button you need. Accepting the call you bring the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“This is Caroline.”

Caroline owned the club you danced at. She never called you. Sitting up straight you rub the sleep from your eyes.

“Hi Caroline, how can I help you?”

She sighs before speaking, “I have been talking with Todd about the incident from a few nights ago.”

“You mean the night that he failed to kick out clients who were going to start a fight before it escalated? The night that I cleared the club and sent the girls home for their safety? That night?” You are fully awake now.

“Is that what happened?” The careful tone of her voice tells you that is not how Todd spun the incident.

“Did you review the tapes yet?”

“I have, I was surprised to see you pull an air horn from my ceiling.”

The flush starts from your chest but covers your face in heat too.

“I may have stashed that up there when Todd started. I have been in situations where an air horn could have been extremely helpful. I’ve worked with managers like Todd before who let patron fights get out of hand. The last time it happened I ended the night with a broken arm and couldn’t work for six weeks.”

“I see. Thank you for telling me. I will talk to the other girls about their interactions with Todd. As for you, there is no need to come to work tonight. Effective today we are removing you from the schedule. I will be emailing you your termination paperwork.”

“What?” Shock steals the power from your words.

“I’m sorry, this decision was already made and paperwork submitted on my end. I can’t have a dancer who usurps the manager on duty.” Caroline does sound genuinely sad about the decision.

You can’t find any words to beg her to change her mind.

“You’re a good dancer and I know you will find work quickly. Goodbye.”

With that Caroline disconnects the call.

You let the phone drift from your ear to rest in your lap. The screen shows it is Sunday around nine am. The phone times out, the screen going black leaving you in darkness.

Your mind is racing. You have the money to cover your daily costs but you were so fucking close to being out of this. You just needed a bit more time. Looks like you needed to finish this job with your brother.

You decide to get up and get dressed, you have brunch with Cara in a few hours.

Part 7 | Part 9

Masterlist | Bunny Masterlist

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

TSC CHAPTER ELEVEN SPOILERS AHEAD

STARTING OFF THE CHAPTER STRONG AS FUCK DISASTER BISEXUAL JEAN MOREAU AWARENESS

picturing jean in a pair of raybans is good for my mental health

-

“Missed a couple spots. Need a hand?”

jeremy u flirt

-

do the trojans ever realise that jean is NOT IN FACT deaf and standing right in front of them when they are talking about him?

-

oh ok so chapter 11 is in fact worse than chapter 10

if anyone reading this has ever believed that they deserved the abuse, trauma/suffering they’ve experienced, i’m here to tell u right now that nobody deserves that and it is not ever ur fault, no matter what others might say or try to convince u. whatever happened to u is unequivocally not ok. please seek help from a professional if u are worried about urself or others in ur life.

if u have ever felt uncomfortable or violated in certain situations just know that no matter how ‘big’ or ‘small’ the situation may seem (i use these terms loosely because i do not believing in ranking peoples traumas), ur feelings are 100% valid and u always always deserve to be respected and heard.

i hope u know that u are not alone and never will be.

sending lots of love to all of u

-

wtff jenkins is a girl?? did we all know this or have i just read too many fanfics always thought jenkins was a guy?

-

It was sacrilegious even in the privacy of his head, and Jean hunched his shoulders against a blow that never came.

fuck that’s a good line. traumatic as fuck and makes me wanna cry for all these boys have gone through but god as an ex-catholic raised queer person i can tell u this line struck hard even though i cant relate to the specifics of the scene

-

Jean didn’t mind cooking, but he didn’t say that. This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could. He closed his eyes again, but now his thoughts were snagged on Jeremy. At length he broke the silence to say, “Two beds would fit in here.”

jean moreau u are so loved

-

“You are not them,” Jean said. “Kevin would not have sent me here if you were.”

THE PARALLELS IN THIS BOOK ARE FUCKING KILLING ME PLS NORA LET ME LIVE IN PEACE THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE

ANDREIL EXISTS IN EVERYTHING

-

Just because he had to meet with this man didn’t mean he had to speak to him.

jean, u diss aaron earlier in the books but really ur just the same as him

-

betsy dobson to the mother fuckibg rescue someone get this bitch a ‘worlds best therapist’ mug

and jean, dude do u know how fucking similar u and neil are, seriously like u guys should be besties like-

“It was not my choice,” he sent back in warning. “I do not need counseling.” He didn’t trust her at all, but there was no point spelling it out.

CHAPTER TWELVEE

dude wtf is it with me and napping while tryna finish this book, literally just accidentally fell asleep for 2.5 hrs when i could’ve been reading

-

“Imagine getting changed so we can practice,” Jean said.

king is fed uppp

-

“It’s not about size, anyway.” ​“Defensive,” Jean said, tugging his glove straps with his teeth. ​Jeremy straightened in indignation. “I don’t have anything to be defensive about.” Jean lost his grip and bit his lip, and Jeremy hurried on before either of them could think too much about that double entendre.

OKKKK JEREMY I SEE U

-

“That’s not—I do care. I want you to play with us, and I want you to have fun again. I want to see what you can do on the court and what you bring to our defense line. I want us to finally win this year after coming so close and failing too many times. But it’s just a game, Jean. Your safety and happiness will always be more important than our season.”

GOOD GOD ITS WHAT U DESERVE JEAN

-

“Every time you say that you take a year off my life. I’d really like to live to ninety, so please knock it off.”

now the trojans understand how the foxes feel when neil whips out his ‘im fine’ line,, also i’m never gonna stop saying that neil and jean should be besties it’s literally just a fact

“I do not believe you when you are drinking such filth,” Jean said, with a disapproving look toward her drink. Laila stared him down as she sucked a long gulp through the straw,

this book is so devastatingly depressing and explores some of the most horrible traumatic things that could happen to a person but it’s interspersed with some of the funniest scenes that it gives me whiplash

-

“Pat and Ananya have wanted to fuck Cody’s brains out for almost a year now. I really thought Cody moving in with them this summer was going to finally get that ball moving, but apparently not. It’s getting kind of pitiful.” ​“Pat and Ananya have been engaged almost as long as Cody has known them,” Laila pointed out as she fit herself against Cat’s side. “You can’t blame Cody for being scared of where they might belong in something like that.”

NORA GIVING US THE POLYAMORY WE DESERVE AFTER CUTTING KANDREIL FROM THE OG BOOKS LETS GO QUEER REP

YK THAT RUNNING JOKE THAT USC IS THE QUEEREST TEAM AND NOBODY HAS AS MANY GAYS AS THEY DO??? IM SO FUCKIBG HAPPY NORA HAS BASICALLY MADE THAT CANNON

-

CHAPTER 13333

jeremy is so hopelessly crushing on jean and that’s real of him

meanwhile jean:

Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth.

sureee buddy

-

They’d arrived holding hands and dressed in matching cream-and-teal outfits. Even their gold-rimmed sunglasses and teal sneakers were identical.

well that is definitely an outfit!

-

“Speaking of happy endings, has Laila bought you a sex toy yet?”

EXCUSE ME

this whole scene was so fucking random but jean deserves great friendships

-

ANOTHER TRANS TROJAN LETS FYCKING GOOOOOO CONGRATS ON UR TOP SURGERY XAVIER

-

‘i’m sure the ravens wouldn’t have taken neil in if they’d known he was the son of a mob boss!!’

uhhhhh…

i don’t know how to tell u this buddy

-

dude i just cannot stop think about the whole new world of fanfics we’re gonna get now that tsc has come out like the aftg universe is expanding and becoming more detailed it’s gonna be crazy

chapter 14!!!

-

Jean eyed him. “For what purpose?” ​Jeremy looked to the ceiling for patience. “For fun.” ​Jean sighed as if Jeremy was the one being unreasonable.

oh jean we’ll get there eventually

-

Jean was a starving dog on a short chain who’d learned years ago not to bite back.

OH MY FUCKING GOD GIVE ME PEACE

MY CHEST IS ACHING AT THIS METAPHOR

-

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP THE PARALLELS ARE DESTROYING ME I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE

“You are Jean Moreau. Your place is here with me, with us. I’m your captain. You’re my partner. We’re supposed to be doing this together, aren’t we? Stop leaving me behind. Look at me.”

-

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it. But I’m not sorry he’s gone. I can’t be.”

“Neither am I.”

TEAR MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT NORA JESUS CHRIST

-

everytime one of the trojans says ‘we’re here to listen whenever your ready to talk and open up to us’ and then they go and demand he tell them every secret he’s ever kept

-

kevin and jeans relationship in this book is so fucking well written, it’s tearing me apart and giving me so much life

they have so much shared trauma and the relationship is so complex but they understand eachother so deeply

He is not used to having a voice, and he has never had power. I cannot promise he will ever talk to you.” ​“I will wait as long as it takes,”

“Be careful with it,” Kevin said. “Be careful with him.”

-

“Night practices with Andrew and Neil,” Kevin said. ​“Obsessed,” Jeremy

exy fiend kevin day representation

also

“No, Jean is fine. As fine as he can be, anyway. Yes, I know.” (kevin when talking to someone ‘offscreen’) i just know he was talking to neil

-

She crossed the room and leaned over, catching Jean’s head in her hands so she could plant a kiss to the top of his head.

this is the love jean deserves

chapter 15:

“Your fourth line has a smart mouth, Coach,” Jean said. “I was hoping he would bite his tongue off in the fall and save us both some grief in the long run.”

jean i love u

-

Jean wished he had the common sense to shut up,

he’s so me

-

“And keep Kevin’s name out of your ignorant mouth,”

THEYRE SO IMPORTANT TO ME UR HONOUR

-

i keep forgetting that jean only learnt english after he moved into evermore and that kevin probably taught him but i love the subtle little reminders every now and then when he has to clarify a word, like when he has to ask what a ‘floozy’ is and:

due to egregious injuries.” ​Jean didn’t recognize that word, but since Lucas was already running his mouth, he didn’t get a chance to ask.

it’s such a good detail that just adds so much more depth to his character

-

“Permission to break his face, Coach?” Jean asked. ​“Denied,” White said.

SCREAMING

THIS IS SO NEIL AND WYMACK CODED I LOVE IT

-

JEAN MOREAU ON A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORCYCLE HOLY SHIT

catalina alvarez u wonderful human i love u

-

jean realising how big the world is and the fact that he’s explored more of california than any other place he’s been before is making me tear up he never should’ve been kept trapped inside he deserves to see the world

-

So long as she existed as fractured memories, she was safe and small and sheltered.

oh god don’t do this to me

-

Jean gazed out at the endless horizon, feeling small and infinite from one moment to the next.

beautiful, just beautiful, absolutely immaculate

A cool evening breeze. Rainbows. Open roads.

A COOL EVENING BREEZE. RAINBOWS. OPEN ROADS

-

SECOND LAST CHAPTER!!! LETS GOOO

“He is not going to hit you. Okay? We don’t do that here. You said you’d try to do better and that’s enough for us.”

starting off strong

-

You’re one of my kids now.

don’t mind me i’m just sobbing

-

no no no no no no no no no

holy shit no what the fucking fuck

don’t do this to jean rn oh my fucking god i’m sick to my stomach on the verge of fully crying right now

actually dreading reading on right now

-

um ok yeah so i read it and to anyone who hasn’t finished the book yet beware there is a graphic violent scene followed by an intense panic attack in chapter 16 that’s is very difficult to read

i did cry and all i can say is thank fuck for lisinski’s timing

-

Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” ​“I do not want you to look.” ​It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie,

-

only redeeming part of this chapter is that neil’s back but i’m still in so much shock over what’s just happened that i cant properly appreciate him

chapter 17 the finale:

feeling incredibly somber as i reach the end of the book

please god destroy anyone who has ever hurt jean moreau

-

nora’s really filling in all the plot holes left from aftg - why did nobody question why neil’s hair was dyed after evermore ????? why did nobody question neil being at evernote in the first place???

-

i’m laughing at neil’s map print-outs he’s so uncool, also i keep forgetting this is still meant to be 2007

-

jean-yves moreau oh my fucking god

-

“says who?” Stuart asked. “The dead kid?

stuart hatford u are so funny, is this where neil inherited is sarcasm from?

stuart hatford says fuck riko and so do i

-

Neil shrugged. “Do you have anyone who can take on local work?”

NEIL JOSTEN U ARE MY HERO I LOVE U U BADASS MOTHER FUCKER

-

Neil offered her a disarming smile that would never sit quite right on his face.

devouring these scraps about my boy

-

YOOOO WTF NORA RLLY JUST WANTED TO GIVE JEAN THE WORST FUCKING DAY HE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE HUH?? JUST DROPPED THE FACT THAT HIS SISTER IS DEAD MY POOR BOY

-

Neil filled in the finer details with an ease that would have been impressive to listen to any other day

- yes neil is incredibly smart, thank u jean for confirming to us

-

The only thing left to ask for was something he barely understood: “I want to go home.”

oh the complicated nature of home and one’s sense of belonging that persists throughout these books will never fail to make me feel absolutely everything. nora knows exactly what i want in a book

-

“I can see the kitchen. There should be a door out to where the dumpsters are. We can make it back to the garage from there.”

to be loved by neil josten is to be offered a way to evade the fbi together

-

“Tedious,” Neil said. “I’m trying to eat.”

my hero

Neil waited until he was done before deciding he wanted to finish his drink. Neither agent was impressed with their absolute lack of urgency,

i love u neil josten pls give me ur autograph

Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to its front bumper and said, “That’s illegal, just so you know.” ​“Shut up and get in the car.”

i wish neil josten was real

-

He couldn’t fear a government who was so easily infiltrated and manipulated

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT

-

Neil flipped his takeout box open and started eating. “I’m allowed to visit people.”

he’s everything to me 🥰

-

“You’re one to accuse others of intolerable attitudes,” Browning said, and Neil only shrugged indifference.

and—for once—without any of your usual bullshit.”

- browning u love him just like the rest of us don’t lie rn

-

ngl i’m never getting over the fact that jean and neil are the same age like this is crazy to me nora whyd u have to do this i cant cope

-

“The more people I hold onto, the less of a threat I am, because I won’t want to endanger them by acting out.”

oh neil look how far uve come, i’m so proud

-

“Lock your door tonight if it will help, but Grayson will never bother you again.”

THANK U LORD FOR THE BRILLIANT NEIL JOSTEN HES ANSWERED MY PRAYERS U BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HUMAN IM SO THANKFUL FOR UR PRESENCE

all my favourite bamf! neil fics have him taking out a hit on someone for the benefit of the people he loves and i’m so glad that’s canon

-

i’m going fucjing crazy i didnt think it was possible to love neil anymore than i already do

best friends ❤️

-

jean tearing up and throwing away the notebooks and realising he trusts the trojans and the four of them going to eat one of cats new recipes after they waited up last midnight for him

A COOL EVENING BREEZE RAINBOWS OPEN ROADS AND FRIENDS

!!!!!

I CSNT BELIEVE ITS OVERRRRR I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCK

[jellybear455]

My love will never die - Jack Sparrow x reader

Summary: Jack trades you for his life. He promises to be there when your ten year sentence is up.

Warnings: Jack is not the good guy here, friends. Rough treatment of reader, unrequited love, heartbreak, angst, a singular swear.

Inspired by Davy Jones by Fia Orädd

I'm considering making this inspired by a song thing a series. I really enjoy doing it. Anyway I hope you enjoy this delicious crunchy angst.

---

"Don't let them take me! Please, please!" I screamed and cried and kicked and punched, struggling to escape the iron grips of the men on either side of me. "God, please! Jack!"

Jack stood on the dock, his back to the shore and hands in his pockets. He did not flinch as my hands were bound in thick iron chains. He did not blink when I screamed at him to take me home, please just get me out of here.

A hand clamped over my mouth, and without thinking, I sunk my teeth into the calloused flesh. The man yelled, withdrawing his hand and slapping me across the face with it. His blood dripped down my cheek, mixing with my tears.

"You bitch!" He screeched. Wiping his hand on his shirt.

"Just let me say goodbye," I sobbed. "I won't run, I won't run I promise..."

The other man snapped shackles on the ankles and gave them a tug. "What ever, sweetheart. But if you so much as look in the wrong direction I'll-"

I didn't stick around to hear the rest. I half ran, half waddled down the dock and threw myself into the arms of my lover, sobbing into his shoulder. "Don't let them take me." I begged.

"I have to. I will be here when you get back." Jack's voice was smooth and calm, like it always was. Usually it was reassuring, but now I was unnerving.

"Aren't you afraid, Jack?" I cried. "Aren't you sad that I'm going away?"

His hands rested against my hips casually. "Of course, darling. But I must not let myself feel it, because I won't be able to let you leave if I do."

"Don't let me leave, Jack, take me home... take me home." I croaked, voice hoarse from screaming. I could hear one of the men stomping up the dock behind me, and I grasped his shirt desperately. "Kiss me, Jack. Please." "No." He replied, firmly and sharply.

"Jack-" The man grabbed my arm painfully. "No, no no, Jack... Jack, please just kiss me one more time."

Jack could not look in my eyes. "Take her away."

"NO!" I screamed and screamed as I was dragged up the dock again. I screamed until after I had been locked away below deck, and I no longer could see the dock out the small window. Then I cried until my eyes were red and I could nor cry anymore.

---

Ten years. That was the time I had to serve aboard the ship. Jack had said the wrong thing to the wrong guy. The price he had to play was me. Ten years of my hard labour, or they would take his life.

It was not a hard decision. I would have cut out my own heart for Jack. But I did not think I could survive ten years without him close.

I had been at sea for nine years, eleven months and thirteen days, and finally- finally- we had docked. I was home. Home to Jack. I ran down the dock, and this time I was not shackled. I ran until my bare feet hit pavement, then stopped. Jack was not here.

More slowly this time, I ventured back up the dock, looking more closely at the fisherman nearby. None of them were Jack. He told me he'd wait for me.

Tears filled my eyes as I remember Jack, my Jack. Who could never truly show how he felt, not even to me. Who could never tell me he loved me for fear that I would leave. I didn't need him to say it, though. I knew that he loved me. He never said it words, but he showed it in actions. The way he would glare at any other men who glanced my way. How he would take away my bottle of rum when I had had too much. How he would leave food on the desk in his cabin when I slept in.

He loved me. So why wasn't he here now? Maybe he was late. Jack was always late. But he always showed. Mostly. I concentrate on my list of things Jack does to show he loves me, but the more I think about it the more I see.

He would glare at the men that glanced at me when I wasn't looking, but then he would spent half the night staring at another woman's breasts. He would take my rum when I got to tipsy, but then would down the bottle himself and leave me to stumble across the deck into his cabin. He would leave food aside if I was still sleeping when he ate, but would yell that he was looking forward to having it as his lunch.

Jack didn't love me. He never did. I just made myself believe he did. He let me believe he did. I think back to the day they took me. Jack told me he hated to see me go. But he wouldn't kiss me. He did not mourn. I had spent the last ten years pining over a man who couldn't think twice about my feelings.

A dull, throbbing pain pulsed through my chest, and an unsettling rage nestled in my gut. I would make him pay for what he had done. The time he had taken from me.

I once would have cut out my own heart for Jack, but I did not have to. He had torn it to shreds.

---

[fuckingyrs]

The sound of a body throwing itself onto one of the infirmary cots echoed through the mostly empty room, followed closely behind with a dramatic, but melodic sigh. “Can I say something mean?” 

“Probably not in front of the baby.”

Will groaned, looking up from his pile of patient reports he had been sorting for the past… year. “I hardly think eleven still counts as being a baby.”

Lee, who had been refilling first aid kits for the past two hours, contemplated this for a moment. “Maybe, but that’s besides the point. I’m six years older than you. You’ll always be a baby.”

“I’m going to say something mean. Will, cover your ears.”

“I’m not covering my ears, Taylor. Unlike you, I’m working right now and I need my hands.”

“Oh,” Taylor dragged, a taunt evident in her voice, "someone's grumpy.”

“He’s mad I put him on infirmary duty during arts and crafts.”

“Will, you aren’t good at arts and crafts.” Lee slapped her arm. “And you like working in the infirmary, you are constantly taking my shifts. It’s why I love you.”

Lee slapped her arm again. “Taylor, what the heck.”

Taylor groaned, “Fuck. Just say fuck. I’m begging you.”

“That’s besides the point. I had it with Cecil. We were going to finish our board game.” Will turned to Lee, pointing an accusing finger at him, “You knew this.”

Lee let out a long-suffering sigh and Will almost felt bad for causing a fuss, but really, Lee brought this upon himself. “Taylor, stop pawning off your shifts to Will. Will, stop letting Taylor’s pawn off her shifts to you. Also: I’m sorry about arts and crafts. The last few days have been hectic and I needed your help. I’ll make sure to not schedule you over arts and crafts next week.”

“I’m going to be home next week! Mama is picking me up, remember?”

Lee had the decency to look ashamed when he said, “Heck. I forgot. I’m sorry, Will.”

Taylor got up from her self-designated cot and walked over to Will, ruffling his hair once she was close enough. “I’ll take over the rest of your shift, buddy. You go have fun.”

Will shook his head, “No, it’s okay. I’m already here. Arts and crafts is half-way done anyway. We wouldn’t be able to finish.”

“If you’re sure,” Taylor sighed as she pressed a kiss to his forehead and Will let out a cry of protest because he could feel the lipstick stain there. He tried rubbing it away with his fingers but by the look on Lee’s face and the snickers Taylor was making behind him, he only made it worse.

Lee graciously handed Will a wipe before glaring at their sister. “Taylor, what are you even doing here?”

“I think I made that pretty obvious when I threw myself onto a bed and stated I was gonna say something mean. I came to gossip.”

“You should be at archery right now.”

“Mike was being a piss-baby. He wouldn’t let Josh and I try to hit one another. What’s the point of being in advanced archery if you can’t shoot at your brother? Moving targets!”

“So you left?”

“Yep. I found Silena and she offered to do my nails before I came by.”

Lee pinched the bridge of his nose in a way that resembled an old man at the end of his rope. Will suppressed a giggle at his brother’s anguish as Lee said, “You can’t do that.”

“Do what? My nails?”

“Leave Michael like that.”

“Why? He’s not in charge of me.”

“But I am. And he’s my second in command, so yes he is.”

Taylor groaned, flopping back onto her cot. “One, he’s like three weeks older than me, unfair. And two, none of that is important right now. What is important is that our father was here and didn’t say hi to any of us. Who does that?”

“Our father, apparently.”

Taylor flipped Lee off, showing off her new manicure. It was baby pink, like her lipstick, with a little sun in the center. “He gives those kids a ride, none of them his, and has the audacity to leave before saying hi? Hell, Will over here has never met him. He has time to bring a group of kids to camp, but can’t spare a lousy minute to check in on us? And I can’t say this to Michael or he’ll claim I’m “on the other side”.” Taylor sighed, a faraway look in her eyes. Will had only seen this look on her face a few times before: every time Luke was mentioned. “I’m just tired of feeling abandoned and I’m sick of feeling like it’s bad to think that.”

Lee stepped towards her, a soft, “Tay–” passing through his lips, before she sat up and shook herself out of her stupor.

“Instead of saying hi, he just causes chaos and disappears! He brings Percy back, which is never a good sign. Thalia is driving the sun chariot, and crashes it! Oh, and he brought that new weird kid that keeps bombarding everyone with questions.”

Will saw through the change of topic, and Lee clearly had to as well, but he allowed it to happen. He slapped her on the arm for the third time, “He’s not weird. He’s, like, eight. The kid is just excited. You were excited about camp once upon a time.”

Taylor turned to Will, jerking her head at Lee, “I think he’s finally lost it. When have I ever been excited by anything ever?”

Will grinned, “Yesterday, you beat Madi at Josh’s song quiz and you danced around the cabin for ten minutes.”

Taylor gasped loud and dramatic, clutching at her chest as she fell back onto her cot, chestnut hair falling all over her face in her fall. “William! How dare you accuse me of such things!”

[thelikesofus]

the forest for the trees

6x15 Coda | Buck POV | 1k words | Confessions, Getting Together

"I see you." Is the first thing that Eddie says when Buck opens the door to his apartment to find his best friend standing in the hallway at eleven o'clock in the evening looking all kinds of distraught.

"I–, what?"

"I see you, Buck."

"Well, yes. You're standing right in front of me." Buck says, stepping back to let Eddie in the door. "Why are you here? Where's Chris?"

"At Pepa's for the night." Eddie shakes his head like he doesn't understand why Buck is asking, like it's irrelevant, and he leans against the kitchen bench. "But that's not–. Buck." 

The way Buck's name crosses his lips is almost like a wine, a plea. Eddie's shoulders are a tense line while he rings his fingers together and chews his lip. Buck's skin prickles with apprehension.

"Do you want a beer?" Buck asks slowly.

"No. No, no thank you. I just–." Eddie stumbles through his words like they're too big for his mouth. "No, I just need you to listen for a minute."

He takes a deep breath and shifts his feet like he's settling himself.

"I see you, Buck! You are kind, and you are thoughtful. You–, you hate mustard and love cooking shows and you screw your nose up every time you see one of those little scraggly dogs but you'll stop to pat it anyway.

"You are always doing things for everyone else. You are supportive and genuine and you love my son, Buck. And he loves you too and I will never be able to thank you for everything you have done for him, for both of us, and I will never be able to make it up to you. But Buck, I see you, every part of you. Even the parts you don't like and even more so the parts that you can't see."

Eddie is red in the face when he slams his jaw shut and stares off absently at Buck's sink, his eyes wide and glassy. 

Buck steps closer to him, slowly, like approaching a spooked horse. 

"Eddie, I–." Buck doesn't really know what to say, what can he say to follow a speech like that while his mind is still reeling and his heart is pounding in his chest? This feels like something big, something important. "I appreciate that, but what brought this on? Are you okay?"

Buck has to stop himself from reaching out a hand to test Eddie's temperature because the man looks three seconds away from passing out. 

"You said, yesterday, at the cemetery, that you thought that you felt like Natalia saw you. But how could she, Buck, how could she when she doesn't know you?" Eddie chews the inside of his cheek as his eyes flit between Buck's eyes and his chin, never resting anywhere for long. "Maybe the lightning strike did change you, I can see that change but you are still you. Still all of those things I just said just–. You're alive, Buck, and I think you feel that way now too and you don't have to pretend to be the 'same old Buck' for anyone because you are him. You are my best friend, and my partner, hell, even my co-parent in all the ways that matter."

"Eddie–?"

"No. No, if I don't say this now I don't think I'll be able to, so listen. You–, just listen." Eddie points a finger at Buck and then finally locks eyes with him. Buck feels as though Eddie's dark gaze is boring straight into his soul. "I see you. I see you but more than that I know you. I love you. I am so glad you are alive and I never want to know another minute without you in it."

Buck feels it, he feels seen. But he's always felt seen by Eddie. Eddie always understands exactly what Buck is trying to say even when he doesn't have the words, and knows exactly what he always needs to hear. Buck has never felt dismissed or overlooked by Eddie and by God it's been in front of him all along and he realizes now that his vision was so clouded by searching for the things he thought he needed that he didn't realize he already had everything he's ever wanted. 

"Eddie, I–." Buck kind of wants to cry but if he starts now he's not sure he'll stop. Every ounce of pent-up frustration and confusion and hope and terror that has been fighting within him since he woke up in the hospital is pressing at his seams and he suddenly feels too small to contain any of it.

"Do you understand me?" Eddie continues and Buck suddenly realizes that he's right in front of him, toe to toe with Eddie's hand hovering by Buck's waist like he wants to touch but is afraid Buck might break, so Buck steps into him and wraps his arms around Eddie's shoulders, both hands instantly cupping around the back of Eddie's head as he draws him in. 

"Yes," he whispers in Eddie's ear as the other man meets him seamlessly and gathers Buck up, holding him back just as tightly. "Yes, I do, I promise."

"Good." 

Eddie leans back after a few long, deep breaths and cups Buck's checks in his hands. "You okay?"

"I feel like I should be asking you that. You're the one that barged in here rambling like a madman. Are you okay?"

"Never been better." Eddie grins. "I'm going to kiss you now."

"You are?"

"I am." Eddie says firmly and Buck's stomach does a summersault. "Are you ready?"

Buck chuckles at the absurdity but also at how genuine the question is and how strongly the sense of right washes over him.

"I am now." He says and then Eddie does. Their lips meet in the middle in a careful press, each of them unsure, out of practice, and overwhelmed. But then Eddie smiles against Buck's lips and they're pressing together again, this time firmer, more sure of themselves and each other, and then all Buck can feel is Eddie, Eddie Eddie. 

His hands on his cheeks, Buck's on his shoulders, their chests pressed together and their arms squished between them. 

They pull away for a breath before Eddie dips back in to leave one last searing kiss against his lips and then they're breathing heavily into the tiny slither of space between them as they both grin manically. 

"I see you." Eddie whispers and it sounds like I love you, so Buck kisses him again. 

[blacklegsanjiii]

i would love to know about revolutionary!sanji !! particularly, going further in depth with wci arc... ft sabosan 👀

Straight up your sabosan art has inspired me to write a rev!Sanji fic so thank you. And I am honored you're here!

As for more indepth on Revolutionary!Sanji wci I feel like it's similar to this ask, particularly the last line. Sabo finds out Sanji's wanted poster says ONLY ALIVE is immediate alarm bells for koala and Sabo and they know Germa has been making moves with Big Mom. He calls Dragon and Iva and says he's making a detour before the reverie. They head straight to Germa.

They're not as adept at espionage, that's Sanji's specialty after all but they manage. They blend in well enough and when Sabo and Koala manage to sneak into Sanji's room? Fury, instantly. Sabo sees the cuffs and is holding Sanji's face in his hands as they cry because Sabo can't get them off without blowing Sanji's hands off. He's skilled in haki but not to the extent Rayleigh or Dragon are. He won't risk it and he understands now.

"They had the crew under threat." Sanji mumbles.

"I'm killing them." Sabo promises as he lays kisses on Sanji's head and face.

"We need to go, someone is coming." Koala says so they leave with the promise of killing all of Germa's royalty.

They're scheming to get the keys to Sanji's cuffs when they find Luffy in the rain. Sabo understands why Luffy is here, Sanji is his cook in all technicalities. So he sits with brother and Nami in the rain as Nami eyes them wearily. When Luffy asks why he's there and who koala is Sabo smiles at him.

"Sanji's head of espionage, has been since seventeen." Sabo explains. "He's been in the Army since he was nine."

Luffy and Nami blink at him as Sanji runs forward with the basket for Luffy and apologizing when Koala smacks him lightly and explains he was doing what he thought was best. That they've all been ready to die for the cause and what they believe in since they were children. He was doing what he believed was best and protecting what he loved. Koala promises to hit him harder next time if it doesn't get through his skill next time and Sanji nods.

So Sabo pulls Sanji close and kisses him. Luffy is confused. Koala calls them gross. Nami is shocked. Sanji still says he wants to save his family and Luffy agrees because it's what Sanji wants but Sabo isn't going to listen. He just won't. Not after all they've been through so when they're all leaving and Niji tosses Sanji and Luffy on the Sunny and Reiju says she switched out the cuffs for the duds? Sabo is even more furious.

Judge shit talking his "worthless" son? His pipe is flaming and haki laced and he cracks Judge so hard against the skull. Sanji is just there watching as Koala is telling Sabo to stop.

"He's on the list anyway isn't he? Let's finish this." Sabo demands with one more solid crack that makes Judge fall into the ocean. They don't see him come back up so Sabo looks at his baby brother and Sanji. He pulls Sanji close and is like "You're important, dummy. Don't forget that, Luffy and I both came here for you."

"Right, who are you guys?" Nami asks.

"I'm Sabo, I'm Luffy's older brother and Sanji's boyfriend. This is Koala." Sabo introduces them.

"Wait, the Revolutionaries?!" Chopper screams.

"That's the Army?!" Nami screams.

"May I see your panties?" Brook asks Koala who grabs and throws him into the galley door. Sabo sighs as Koala says they need to go so he kisses Sanji and hugs Luffy before they leave.

"whats especially sponge?" Luffy asks.

"espionage? Spying. I'm a spy, was a spy? It's all muddied since I joined the crew." Sanji laughs.

"I can't believe you date the Chief of Staff." Nami whispers.

"Have been since I was sixteen." Sanji shrugs.

"How come Sabo got to kill Judge?" Luffy whines.

"He's had dibs since I was eleven."

"Aww maaaannn." Luffy groans.

[heavyhitterheaux]

FL CONCEPT : The triplets start dating, Jack knew about Axel, but didn’t about the girls so there’s a huge argument.

Ivy came down the steps with you behind her while Jack was half asleep on the couch in the living room. He opened his eyes once he heard the two of you and looked to see that Ivy was dressed up and you were fixing a few stray hairs that had fallen out of place. 

“You look gorgeous, princess. Where are you going?”

“Thank you, daddy. Mommy helped me with it. I’m going on a date with Damion.”

Jack then did a double take.

“On a WHAT? Excuse me? Since when did this happen?”

Ivy looked over to you for help and you simply looked at him dumbfounded.

“What do you mean when did this happen? Didn’t we agree that when they turned 16 that they were allowed to date?” You said since you were now confused at his outburst.

“Yes, we agreed on that but I didn’t know we actually STARTED. Axel came and told me he was, but they are now too?! Who is this boy? I need to meet his parents. I don’t know anything about him.”

“Okay, first off, I already did and calm down before Ivy gets upset because that is the last thing I want.”

“Oh, so you met them and didn’t think that was something to tell me?”

“You weren’t here and he is very nice and actually asked me for permission to take her out on a date. You are literally screaming your head off for nothing.”

“So, now it’s nothing? My daughter…”

“Daughters. Autumn went out on a date too.”

“And no one thinks they need to tell me anything when things like this happen!?”

“Jackman, stop it right now because I can see she’s about to cry and we’ll deal with it later after she leaves.”

“Don’t even Jackman me because you had plenty of opportunities to tell me and you didn’t.”

Just then the doorbell rang and Jack quickly moved past you in order to open the door.

“Mommy, is he mad at me?” Ivy quietly asked when Jack was out of earshot and you quickly shook your head no.

“No, and don’t you worry about it. Go out and have fun while I deal with your grumpy father.” You said while taking her hands in yours and looking up at her since all of your kids got Jack’s height and towered above you. 

“I don’t like when he’s mad at me, maybe I shouldn’t go.”

“Hey, hey none of that. I promise he’s not, and I don’t even know what he’s carrying on about because when I started dating him, I was younger than you were. Have fun like I said and you know our safe word. If you ever feel uncomfortable at any time and want to leave, I’m just a text or call away.”

“Thanks, mommy. I love you.”

“Love you too, baby boo. Now come on so Damion can see how pretty you look.”

You held her hand as both of you made your way towards the door and Damion looked terrified.

“Damion! Hi, sweetie! She’s all ready to go. And don’t pay my husband any mind. Now you two have fun and bring her back at 11.”

“Hi Mrs. Harlow! And these are for you and these are for you Ivy.” He said while handing you both a bouquet of flowers. 

“ELEVEN?!”

“Jackman.” You said through gritted teeth.

You both watched the two of them get settled in Damion’s car before going back in the house and all you did was shake your head at him and cross your arms.

“What?”

“You upset our baby! I told you not to and you did it anyway! She thinks that you’re mad at her and said that maybe she shouldn’t go.”

“I just… Y/N.. you have to see where I’m coming from. I didn’t mean to upset her but…”

“I started dating you when I turned 15, did I not?”

“Yes, but…”

“Our babies aren’t stupid and we need to give them a chance. I trust them to make good decisions and you need to as well.”

All Jack did was sigh.

“We agreed on this. I admit that I definitely should have said something to you about it, but Ivy and Autumn wanted to do it themselves just like Axe did.”

“I just… our babies are literally almost adults and I’m not ready.”

“This conversation sounds familiar. And do you remember when we first found out I was pregnant with them and scared shitless? And now look, we’re sixteen years in. They’re going to be fine, just like we were.”

“I’ll… apologize to her when she comes back. At eleven on the dot.”

“Jack, baby..”

“11:01, I’m on the porch, 11:02, I’m in the car, 11:03….”

“We get it, just make sure you apologize to our oldest baby.”

“And you deserve an apology too. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”

“And you’re forgiven. I get it that things can be scary when it comes to them doing more and being independent, but you know for a fact they’ll always need us. And wait, what did you say to Damion?!”

“Boys only, babe.”

You immediately rolled your eyes.

[unabashegirl]

Enticing 26 (HS)

Summary: Harry is a young billionaire and CEO of his own company. He mostly keeps to himself, he is stern and very meticulous when it comes to business. He also likes to keep his personal life very private for the sake of his newly born son Oliver Styles. It isn't until he meets Y/N Y/L/N that everything changes. She becomes his new nanny after his previous one quits due to personal reasons. She is young, caring, and sweet. Will they ignore their feelings? Will Harry's girlfriend accept their love and leave them? Will she be able to cope with his busy agenda? What about Oliver's mother? Where is she? Who is she?

Author’s note: Ugh! I can’t wait for all of you to read what I have planned for this series. It’s all I think about lately. I’ve even gotten my boyfriend involved. A boyfriend that I have turned into a Harry lover with my own obsession. I confess that I’ve just recently let him into my little secret world. He had been suspicious of it but hadn’t said anything. Last week, I confessed everything to him, and it was such a relief especially because he is now a big supporter of it all. He even gives me ideas. Anyway, enough about me! Let’s get started. Happy Reading everyone!

words: 1.6K

— all chapters of Enticing —

It was late, around eleven o’clock when someone knocked on his apartment door. He was dozing off while he read the latest book by his favorite writer. The knock and the ringing of his doorbell startled him. For a moment, he considered not opening the door, but curiosity got the best of him and got him out of bed. As soon as he looked through the peephole, he was frantically trying to open the front door.

“What are you doing here?” Patrick asked Y/N, she looked beaten down and disheveled. Her mascara was running everywhere, and her eyes were red from all the crying that she had done on the ride over.

“C-can I stay here?” He pulled her into the apartment and shut the door before pulling her into a tight hug.

“This is your home. Of course, you can” Patrick kissed the top of her head as he held her tightly and she cried.

Y/N finally felt safe and comfortable. They sat on the couch while she continued to cry. It felt like a nightmare. She felt like time had stopped, and her future was a blur.

“Let me get you something warm to drink” Patrick had never seen her as broken. The last time she had been so broken was when her father had passed away and back then Y/N had been solely consoled by her mother. He started to warm some water for some tea and made sure to bring her a blanket.

“H- He accused me of cheating on him,” she said from the living room while he finished serving two cups of chamomile tea. Patrick frowned, disapproving of her ex-boyfriend’s accusations.

“On what claim?” He asked her as he carefully carried the teacups into the living room. “Weren’t you in Italy?” Y/N nodded and reached out for the tea. She took a sip before continuing.

“James messaged me while we were in Rome.” Y/N confessed which earned a gasp from Patrick, “He wanted to meet up and discuss some things. At first, I ignored him and blocked him from a new profile that he had created on Instagram to reach out to me. But then he texted me”.

“How did he get your new phone number?” Patrick had been very careful to hand out her phone number to people. Ever since the night she left him, Patrick had always asked for authorization when people asked for her phone. “It wasn’t me. I swear”.

“I don’t know, and I know it wasn’t you. I still haven’t been able to figure that part out.” Y/N exhaled loudly, feeling a bit calmer. “Harry freaked out, and after everything that has happened involving Oliver’s mom and his ex”.

“It’s irrational! So, he kicked you out?”

“I left” She confessed, wiping some tears off her face.

“Y/N” he sighed, “why? Didn’t you love him?”

“I did” Y/N’s voice cracked, “I do” she sniffed, “But how can I have a relationship with a man that expects me to trust him with all sorts of women, but when the time comes, he can’t give that sort of trust back to me?”

Patrick knew where she was coming from. James had cheated multiple times on her during her relationship and she had turned a blind eye. Y/N had been a fool in love before.

“I deserve better” She tried to convince herself, “He met up with them, Patrick. He had secret meetings with Ashley, and it wasn’t until Valeria revealed it to me that he confessed to it”. Patrick pouted at his best friend and pulled her into a big hug.

“You are totally right. You deserve better.” Patrick had always thought that Harry was it for Y/N —that he was her forever. He was shocked at the turn of events. It had been very hypocritical on his part to point fingers at Y/N when he had lied to her. “Let’s get your room and bed ready”. He still had a few questions to make, but he could tell that Y/N was done speaking. Patrick also knew that she needed to get some rest. “Would you like me to prepare you a bath?”

“No. I just need to be on my own.”

“I understand” Patrick set her bed up and got new bedsheets and a clean towel. He wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. He knew that she was in pain and the next few days would be harder for her.

Just as he had predicted, Y/N went through it all. A few days turned into five then into a week. Before he realized a week and a half had passed by since she had arrived that night. Patrick would check on her in the morning and find her sitting on her bed without any sleep. He would make her breakfast and would come back to it barely touched. Y/N barely left her bed unless it was for peeing, taking a shower, or throwing up the food that she had just attempted to eat.

On the fifth day, she finally accepted to take a sleeping fill that Patrick’s psychiatrist had ordered him to take for his insomnia and anxiety. She slept wonderfully until nausea got her straight out of bed. So, Patrick bought her melatonin gummies at the pharmacy and made her chicken soup most of the day since it was all she could keep down.

“Enough! I love you, but you are killing yourself” Patrick cried, he had just arrived from work to find her throwing up in the guest bathroom. It had been two weeks since she had broken up with Harry. “You are going to get up and change, and we are going to go out on a walk.”

“I can’t” she cried, “I can’t go out there, Patrick. Not when every corner of this damn city reminds me of him and of what we could’ve been.”

“No!” He explained, “What’s meant for you will stay and he didn’t! He didn’t fight for you, so you don’t get to lie around and kill yourself slowly. Do you think he stopped going to the office after you left?! No, because people count on him and need him”. He was tired of seeing her so defeated. He missed her. “And I need you!” Patrick slapped his chest with every word, emphasizing how hard it’s been to see her so broken.

Y/N gently sat up on the bathroom floor and flushed the toilet as she looked up at her best friend.

“So, get up! Get ready! We are going out on a walk and getting some Starbucks.”

Y/N eventually got off the floor and took a hot shower. She had lost multiple pounds, enough to allow her to see her hip bones. Her skin was dry and the bags under her eyes made her look unrecognizable. Patrick was right, she thought.

“Ready?” She had dressed in some leggings, vans, and a puffy sweater. It had started getting colder in New York, warning the people that winter was just around the corner, and it was going to be a hard one. Patrick hooked arms with her just as they left the apartment building.

“Isn’t it nice? Didn’t you miss the fresh air?” The trees had started turning, and the leaves had begun to fall. Y/N was quite surprised at how quickly the city had changed in her absence.

“I have,” she said a bit teary eye, and for the first time not about leaving Harry, but about missing life.

After getting their drinks, they sat in Central Park on a bench and enjoyed watching other people walk past them.

“Should have ordered a hot chocolate too or a pumpkin spice” Patrick said as he drank his ice caramel macchiato.

“It’s chilly, and you decided to order a cold drink?” Y/N giggled after sipping her hot chocolate, “You are an idiot” Patrick laughed along, even though his fingers left like icicles against the cold cup.

“You giggled!” He pointed out, it had been a while since he had heard her or seen her smile.

“Thank you” she genuinely thanked him. She suddenly felt emotional and wanted to cry for having such a wonderful friend as Patrick. “Would you like my chocolate?” She offered.

“Is this your way of saying thank you? A Starbucks chocolate?” He gasped, “Outrageous. I deserve much more, but I’ll have some”.

“No, it’s not believe me. I just that I feel nauseous all of a sudden.”

“I thought you were doing better! Stop making yourself sick, Y/N.”

“I am not! Everything has been making me nauseous lately, and I can’t keep anything down”. She confessed, “You thought I was making myself sick?”.

“Don’t be mad about what I am about to say.” Patrick had thought that her nausea had been part of some weird psychological episode caused by her breakup and depression. “What if you are pregnant?”...

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[miumura]

( 🔗 ) WINTER WITHOUT YOU — YEONJUN FIC

[ DAY ELEVEN ] of the advent calendar !

( 🔗 ) SYNOPSIS . . . winter has never felt the same for him—maybe it’s because it's a winter without you.

( “ ) PAIRING . . . ex!yeonjun x gn!reader

( 🔗 ) GENRE . . . angst , second chance ? , hopeful ending

( “ ) WARNINGS . . . none that i know of , INSPIRED BY “WINTER WITHOUT YOU” BY XG ~~ WORD COUNT : 1.2K+ ( 1271 lolz ) FEATURING soobie boobie ( soobin ) from txt !

( 🔗 ) NOTE . . . day 11 wooo!! xg decided to drop such a great song for the month of dec, so you know i just had to write a fic inspired by it bc it is so fic worthy. anyways, i hope you enjoy as i believe this should be my first ex au kinda thing !! 🤍

Exiting the crowded room, Yeonjun seeks solace by stepping outside. He slides the glass door closed behind him and settles onto the wooden steps. Despite the chilly weather, he shakes off the cold, merely watching the snowflakes gently cascade. Extending his hand, he lets the snowflakes fall around him, releasing a sigh.

As he reflects, a pang of longing hits him. "This Christmas party would’ve been better if you were here." Running his hand through his hair, he closes his eyes, replaying the painful breakup between the two of you in his mind.

DECEMBER 11TH 2020

“Hey, I have to tell you something,” you sighed heavily over the phone, causing Yeonjun to grow concerned.

“Yeah babe, what’s up?” There's a pause, a long one, and Yeonjun interrupts the silence, “Hello?”

“Please don’t call me that…” you mumbled. “This makes it even harder.”

His heart rate quickens. What were you trying to convey? “YN… what are you saying?”

“We need to break up.”

His heart sank, a feeling of heartbreak consuming him like never before. Typically, he might have accepted it, but not this time. You're the one who stayed by his side for years—his longest relationship. You were a person he trusted, a person he loved with all his heart. And now, you expect him to move on easily?

“Why, YN? Why?” He couldn’t accept it; he wishes this were just a dream.

“Because… because it won’t work out.” The painful simplicity of your response echoes through the phone, leaving him grappling with the harsh reality of your decision.

“Then let’s make it work out,” Yeonjun pleaded, clinging to hope that the two of you could salvage the relationship.

“You wouldn’t understand,” he could sense your frustration, realizing you were holding back the full truth. Why couldn’t you share it?

“Then help me understand, will you?”

“I have to go overseas.” Yeonjun was relieved it wasn’t something more serious or a fault on his part, but the unexpected news proved to be devastating.

“And how will that stop our love?” he questioned, desperately seeking a solution to bridge the gap caused by the impending distance.

“Long distance won’t work. It would be better to call it off so no one gets hurt, especially you.”

“You wouldn’t get hurt if we separated?”

“Yeonjun, that’s not what I’m trying to say—” you paused, sniffling on the other side of the phone, and winced. He must have tried holding back his tears, just for you. “Please don’t cry. I hate when you do that.”

“I hate how you’re doing this to us,” he says, even though he recognizes the selfishness in his words. He wants you, and only you.

“I’m sorry. I really am. I still love you—and I forever will. It just… won’t work out for us. At least not now. And I don’t know how long this will last.” The painful truth lingers in the air, leaving both of you in silence once again.

"I don’t understand, YN. How can you say you still love me and then just... let go?"

“I wish it were that simple, Yeonjun,” you responded with a heavy sigh. “Sometimes love isn't enough, and timing can be cruel. I have to go, and you deserve someone who can be here for you, not someone oceans away.”

“I don’t want someone else, I want you,” he insisted, his voice tinged with desperation.

“I know, and that’s what makes this so hard. But it's the right thing to do,” you explained, your own voice strained with emotion.

“We will meet again…okay? I’ll make sure of that. Just don’t contact me, please? I won’t be able to answer.”

“But YN—”

“I have… I have to go. I’m so sorry, Yeonjun. I love you, okay?”

“YN—YN?” he says, already hearing the beeping noises from his side. You hung up on him. Defeated, Yeonjun takes a seat as his legs give up on him. His gaze falls upon the coffee table, where he notices a pristine white bag.

In that bag lies the ring he had planned to propose to you with—a symbol of his vow to be forever yours, a promise that nothing would ever change. Another Christmas was meant to be special for both of you.

But now, he couldn't.

The tears he had been holding back finally started to fall, each drop carrying the weight of shattered plans and the loss of a future that once felt so certain.

He still feels the heartache from that day, and he has never once forgotten about you—not that he wished to, anyway. Like he said himself, how could he forget about you that easily, even if it's been a good three years?

This winter was certainly one of the worse—there was nothing he could do about it.

How badly he wishes to erase such a painful memory. Pulling out his phone, his first instinct is to go on social media, just to distract his mind from thoughts of you, even if it's only for a moment.

However, seeing couples on his for you page is certainly not helping him. Because, if you were here, he bets he would've spammed his story with pictures of you. He could've had pictures of you all smiley, even with that ring he bought for you too. He could've—

“Yeonjun! Why are you out here all by yourself?” Soobin says with a drink in his hand. Startling Yeonjun, he clears his throat, realizing he had been outside for way too long. “Already abandoning the party? Why—geez, it’s so cold out! How are you surviving off that flimsy sweater?”

“Just needed some fresh air, that’s all.”

“It’s been way too long since you’ve been out there—I think that’s enough of it.”

Yeonjun heeds Soobin's advice and gets up swiftly. As he reenters the warmth of the gathering, a rush of heat hits his body, causing shivers. It becomes apparent just how long he was out in the cold.

Welcomed back by his talkative friends, bombarding him with questions, Soobin's supportive presence is felt with a reassuring hand on his back, accompanied by a warm smile from his friend.

Yeonjun finally lets out a small chuckle, joining in the lively atmosphere. However, as he suddenly looks into the distance, his smile abruptly transforms into a shocked expression, catching the attention of those around him.

Yeonjun's surprise deepens as he spots you in the midst of the crowd, your presence evoking a mixture of emotions within him.

His eyes were deceiving him, weren’t they?

The shock lingers on his face, momentarily freezing him in place as he processes the unexpected sight of you at the party.

Soobin, noticing Yeonjun's stunned reaction, leans in and whispers, "Go talk to them. I did this for you—make things work again."

A mixture of gratitude and apprehension fills Yeonjun as he contemplates approaching you. Realizing that hesitation won't get him anywhere, Yeonjun swiftly rushes over to you, determined to reconnect. The prospect of a renewed connection fills him with anticipation, the possibility of proposing to you and seeing you wear the ring he had carefully selected echoing in his mind.

As he approaches and sees your smile, the winter seems less cold, and the possibility of a season without you fades away.

As Yeonjun closes the distance between you, he realizes that you had kept your promise. Now, it's his turn to fulfill a promise — to make it a winter with you, vowing never again to let a winter pass without you.

This time, it will be a season filled with warmth and shared moments, a promise both to you and to himself.

💭 — isnt writing angst so fun !!!!

TXT PERM TAGLIST — @flwoie @haruavrse @bearseulgs @ilovewonyo @bubblytaetae @ineedaherosavemenow @ml8dy @wonioml @xiaoderrrr @neozon3nha @ja4hyvn @thia-aep @vampcharxter @sleepymoon27

[hughiecampbelle]

Dread (Bucky Barnes Oneshot)

Character/s: Bucky

Word Count: 1,824

A/N: Ahhhh okay I don't really talk about it here, or to anyone lol, but last year I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I still feel like "it" wasn't bad enough and idk, I'm afraid if I did tell someone, they'd say what I'm thinking. My extended family can't handle this kind of info and my mum is dealing with the same thing, so I end up taking care of her even when things are bad. I've been having a lot of trouble the past few months days with sleeping and I thought I'd write about it. I'm using my emotional support Bucky lol. Anyways, just a therapy fic. Things will go back to normal asap! 💜💜💜

You shatter. Like glass, like snow, like silence. Bursting into thousands, millions,of  infinitely beautiful pieces. You glitter under the light, between his fingers. Oh y/n, the pity dripping from his voice like honey, thick and sweet across his teeth, oh no. You splinter, cracking right down the middle. Cheekbone and shoulder blade and fractured, punctured vertebrae compress together into one anonymous pile of bone. Pile of you. Collected into dust pans, into willing palms. All serrated edges and knife like anger, hurt and screaming and ashamed. He nicks himself on you, on a tooth or empty eye socket, slicing himself open. Sorrysorrysorrysorry. The words tumble from your mouth as it falls apart, crashing into the floor, scattered everywhere. He waves you away. He deserves it, he thinks, he says, he insists. You deserved it, too. It was your fault. You didn’t fight back. You didn’t scream. You didn’t tell them. No, he argues, the thoughts breaking through your open wounds. Drawn by ice pick, your skin chipped, two words the play on loop. My. Fault. No, his is angry now, speaking to the fragments. Don’t say that. Don’t- don’t say that. Okayokayokayokay. In secret though, when he has his back turned, attention carried away, you think it very quietly. Over and over until there is no more space left, until you fear you will splinter all over again. Myfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfault. 

He used to try to fill the silence. Frantic in the dark, blinded, left to wander, searching for the switch. The bedside lamp spills her light across the room. You can name everything in it. An unmade bed. Two tables. Two lamps. Two people, sleep deprived, scared to death for the same reason. He used to try to fill the empty space with every question that came to mind. Beneath his voice you sniffled, your heart beating in your ears, pounding too loud. Beneath the sound you tried to catch your breath, gasping for air, trying to fill your lungs, your blood, your body. You can still feel it, you can still hear it, the dream indistinguishable from reality. He used to talk until he was out of breath, until there was nothing left to ask, hoping he would be able to better understand. Why you were doing what you did, why this happened sometimes, who did this. He doesn’t do that anymore. Now he knows. It was a guessing game, a series of assumptions. Fragmented ideas sewn together, the gaps numerous and wide, a series of events and half-truths constructed poorly to make a story. Holey. Holy. And then, once, only once, you told him. You told him everything, unable to look at him for a long time, unable to stop yourself. You put what you’ve never been able to into words. And then he stopped. 

He finds you under the bed. You’re not sure when it became the place, the space to occupy. A habit. Maybe when it started, all those years ago, crying beneath the exoskeleton, needing to feel hugged without the threat of human touch. Maybe it wasn’t suffocating like the closet or exposed out in the open like behind the bedroom door. Maybe it was the last place they would ever find you, the last place to look. Seven years old. Eleven, thirteen, fifteen, seventeen all over again. It makes you feel so small, so little, as if no time has passed. As if those versions of you have been stuck under there all this time. He finds your part of the mattress empty, blankets dragged down as if they’d gotten caught on something. He follows the sound of crying. Soft sobs escape you, the cool of the floorboards cold beneath your cheek. On his hands and knees, his t-shirt loose around his arms, his hair disheveled. Eye-level now. There is sorrow in those blue eyes, pity, but something more. Something that makes you want to curl around him, hold him, let him cry as you are now. Understanding. Recognition. 

What a dangerous thing. 

It’s happened again. The dream with the boy, the dream with the man. His knee between your legs. Spreading them. Pushing into you. On your stomach. You can’t move or speak, you can’t fight. It happened again and now you can’t stop feeling it, experiencing it. Like looking into the mouth of a wolf, counting his teeth, believing naively that you are safe with your hand halfway down his throat. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. It doesn’t matter where you go or who you pretend to be. They follow you. They haunt you. That fucking laugh. Hysterical, cynical, a warning before his hands crawled all over you. You hear it now, under the bed, far from him. You hear it all the time. Strangers look like him. A flash of panic spreads in your chest before you realize it’s someone else. Before you name yourself paranoid, crazy. Again? It’s barely above a whisper. His voice is so thin, so shaky, as if afraid any louder would scare you away. He shouldn’t have to ask. He shouldn’t have to deal with this, with you. You nod, your hands balled into you, your knees to your chest. Yesyesyesyesyes. Againagainagainagain. 

He doesn’t put his hands on you. Not now, not ever. He doesn’t say the things that have been said about you, your body, the space you are forced to occupy. He doesn’t have the thoughts that they had or the urges or the good sense to target someone who would never say anything. Staring at one another. He knows. Not the details, or the guys, or the boys, but he knows. Parts of the past play on loop. Moments he wishes he could forget, destroy, set aflame. Moments that haunt him even on a bright, sunny day where he feels as if nothing bad has ever happened. Even then, there is a ringing in his ears. There is something small and deep that tells him he is running away from something inescapable. That he is a fool for believing he could ever move on. 

It’s too late to say anything. It’s too late to do anything. You can’t remember their names, their faces. You don’t remember when it started, only that it did. It’s never really stopped since then. What a waste, you think, what a terrible waste you’ve become. Two children who would be laughed at, who would be made into jokes, who would grow up and live life with the knowledge that they are not immune to terrible things. He doesn’t join you under there. Instead, he rolls on his back, arm stretched outward, his hand, his wrist, his fingertips rest at the edges of the shadow. His eyes cast upward in awe as if he were looking at a sky full of stars and not a vast blankness of white ceiling. Eventually, your hand will find his. Millimeters away, not yet touching, close enough to feel though. That’s all you have to offer in this moment. He will take it. He will take nothing. But he will never take everything like they have done. You’re on your stomach, your back, always crying. Always trying to get away, but they are too strong, too powerful. They are bigger than you. 

They will say and do things that make you feel dirty. Soiled. Broken. You will scrub your skin raw, but it’s a feeling that never dissipates. It never goes away. You used to hide in the shower. Midnight, one, two, three. He’d hear the water going, see the steam. You’d appear, scrubbed anew and smelling like coconut. Sweet. Summery. Familiar. Your eyes would be rimmed red. Bloodshot. You’d make up an excuse. Anything to get away with it. Along the way you stopped. Along the way you realized the water could never be hot enough, you could never wash away the pieces of you they took. Under the bed it was. You prayed he wouldn’t wake up, that you wouldn’t disturb him, but it never worked. You prayed like that, before, before they did what they did. You gave up on God like He’d given up on you. It only seemed right. Fair. He used to search the entire apartment, calling out your name, his heart suddenly in your throat. Petrified you left him, petrified something terrible happened.  Now he knows what to expect. He knows the place. You lay like that, barely touching, trying to catch your breath, until one of you falls asleep. Eventually, the other follows.

The morning comes. Her warm light welcomes you. You watch him for a while, quietly, running your eyes over the hard line of his jaw, the softness of his cheek, the bridge of his nose. Your finger will draw stars, and circles, and hearts into the floorboards. The day is welcome. It’s the night when things turn sour. When he wakes, you will crawl out from under the frame. You will shower and dress and move on from what’s been tormenting you. You will play pretend. He won’t push the subject, knowing better now, but he will remain acutely aware of your every move. You’ll grab his hand, his arm, the least frightening act of affection, and walk together. You’ll have your coffee. You’ll talk with Sam. You’ll smile, and laugh, and act as if nothing has happened. It’s always these moments that strike him the hardest: after the nightmares, the feeling, the crying, you have no choice but to pick yourself up and carry on. You’re not overly affectionate, though you show him it’s okay, things are better now. Tentatively, his hand finds its way on the small of your back. You let him. 

Tonight it will happen all over again. That dream will come. You will hide. He won’t wake up, though. Tonight he will sleep through it. You will join him in the bed before he realizes, before his eyes open, before he comes to. He thinks things are getting better. And they will, but for now this is how it will be. Two things can be true at once. Two people can exist in a single body. Today, you are you, but the sun will set and that child will take over and you can do nothing but let them. Two realities can exist. Here, you will thrive. There, you are allowed to crumble. He will place his hand on your back. He will refill your mug. He won’t take this light mood for granted. He knows what comes next. He knows the emotions you place in the closet just to exist here, in this room, with these people. He knows because he does the same.

You will thank him quietly, for putting up with you, for dealing with you, but he will always shake his head, unsure of how to put his exact thoughts into words. He’s never minded taking care of you. You’re worth it. You always have been.

[kamegori]

❝ Chapter Two – A random Waking!  ❞

TWST x KAngel! reader [ she / they pronouns used]

SUMMARY — Going to the mall, out on a date but you forgot something at the bus stop and you have to go back and grab it but it leads you somewhere else..

WARNINGS – view the MASTERLIST for the full warnings! separation, smoking, panic attacks(?), mentions of stitching humans together, yandere(?), implied sexual intercourse, swearing, animal gets hit by a stick and some rocks(but it's fine! I think), implied drug taking 

A/N — Twisted world, if I were in there I would be panicking and crying tbh.

❝ [Master.list] ❞

❝ Wake up, (name) ❞ you heard their voice, you open your eyes and saw them leaving some clothes on the table.

❝ I made breakfast ❞ you heard them say, you watch as they smile at you.

Their lovely hair and face were beautiful as always.

They kissed your forehead and left the room, you got up and washed your face. You made sure you were still cute as always. You smiled as you fixed your hair.

❝ Humm ❞ you could hear humming, or maybe it was you humming or them you can't tell. You really didn't care anyways, it sounded good.

You sat down as you began eating, maybe you should talk about breakfast? Breakfast club or doing a cooking stream? You weren't sure if they were good ideas or not. Maybe you would just have luck on your date, more ideas or if you have none just steal ideas I mean you could make other people's ideas better!

❝ We are leaving in a few hours, I just wanted to you to eat first.. ❞ you saw them smile at you, P-Chan made the best food! You put the dirty dish in the sink as you began waiting in your room. Scrolling through the media, you got bored as you had an idea. 

You remember that you and your s/o didn't do intercourse in a while, you could just pass time for that. You only could hope that they have enough stamina to keep going at least for 2-3 hours until the mall opens up.

❝ Come in here first ! ❞ you said out loud, waiting as the door opens. They smile and tilt their head to the side ❝Yes what is it? ❞ you smile as you wave them over, you said the idea of wasting time. They blushed but  had agreed to the idea.

❝ mmh..  ❞ you said as you got up from the bed smiling, you looked at the time it said ❝ Eleven o'clock  ❞ you got up and stretch as you let out a groan. You saw them lying down on the bed, tired normally you would have got them doing aftercare but I guess you could do it today.

❝ Here's a towel ❞ you said as they looked up at you, you washed their face and their body. You felt like you did something so amazing, I mean you're amazing at doing whatever which is what you like to believe.

You got up and grabbed some clothes, maybe you could find new outfits from KAngel? You placed P-Chan's clothes next to them as you got dressed, you fixed your hair and got your bag.

❝ P-Chan, get up and let's go! ❞ you said to them as you shaked their body, they got up almost falling down but you grab them  putted the clothes on the impatiently.

❝ Let's go now! ❞ you said as you got outside the lights blinded you and your eyes hurted, maybe you should go outside who knows. You walked over to the bus stop as you waited, people were talking as you stated close to the end a bit far away from them.

The bus came as you got on, you sat next to your lovely s/o of course! ❝  Their so annoying, they talk so much ❞ you said to them as you looked over to the group of girls, they kept on tapping it was getting very annoying didn't help the fact that you were next to them. You heard them talking about streamers and Kpop men.

❝ Yeah, their sure are loud ❞ you nodded your head as you sighed, watching outside the bus window. You closed your eyes for about maybe it wasn't a good idea to do "it" before leaving to the mall. Now you're tired and P-Chan is probably tired as well.

It was your stop as you rolled your eyes, you noticed that the group of girls got off the bed as well, you sighed as you walked into the mall walking beside your lover.

You began looking around for any ideas, maybe you should do a cosplay stream? Eh but who does cosplay streams, you sighed in defeat. 

❝ Just enjoy us being here, no need to work about ideas. I will come up with some ❞ you nodded your head as you began going to stores, buying stuff .

A few hours later, you got back home as you sighed in happiness. You watched as they placed your newly bought stuff away, you began touching your pockets.

❝ fuck.. I think I left my fucking lighter at the bus stop and my cigarettes ❞ you said as you gritted your teeth, they looked up at you, ❝ Oh I could go find i- ❞ you cutted them off ❝ No! I will go find it, you just put stuff away! ❞ you said as you saw it was raining out, ❝ just fucking great…  ❞ you rolled your eyes.

❝ Are you sure? I could come with you, (name) ❞ you shake your head no, as you grab a umbrella ❝ Its fine, I will be back soon! ❞ you yelled out before closing the door behind you, you walked out as you began walking towards the bus stop. You hoped that your pack and your lighter would still be there.

It would be too late and the stores that would be open are far away and there's no way you're going to walk farther than the bus stop!

You began looking around as you saw a raccoon!! Grab your pack and run into the woods, how?! You were so surprised!!

❝ Wha- Hey you dumb stealing eat! Grab it back you can't even smoke anyways! ❞ you began running after the raccoon, you grab a stick and some rocks. You forgot about your umbrella as water poured onto you. 

You went into the woods. Not caring where you are going but just following after the raccoon. You watched as the raccoon climbed a tree, you're pretty sure that you saw the raccoon blowing a raspberry at you which got you more mad.

❝ Don't blow raspberries at me!! ❞ you said as you threw a stick at it, it nearly hit the raccoon. You're sure that ugly stealing rat had laughed and pointed at you calling you a loser for missing!!

You threw some rocks and it hitted the darn thing! You smiled as the raccoon hitted the ground, you walked over to hit as you saw the raccoon with dizzy eyes, you laughed as you grabbed your pack of cigarettes making sure that none had broken to the fall.

❝ Your lucky that it didn't break! ❞ you said as you got up and looked around, great another problem…

You heard a loud sound as you grabbed some rocks and noticed that the raccoon was gone.

You saw a carriage!! ❝ What the hell! ❞ you said out loud as you backed away, how is there a feeling carriage!! You couldn't believe it when you saw a horse and it stopped right in front of you, there was no way that this was real! How?!

❝ Did I take too much? ❞ you said as you don't recall taking any, you must be seeing stuff. You walked closer to the carriage but the door opened itself! 

Your mouth was agape as you began thinking that you were on a trip right now, you got closer and touched the carriage seat.

It felt like a seat! You gasped as you tried backing away but you felt like something was pushing you on!

You got in the carriage as your door closed behind you, you tried opening the door but felt really tired. You closed your eyes as you opened it but the scenery was different, it was more dark and you could see the castle? Your eyes closed once again.

Your body felt sore as you opened your eyes, but it was pitch black. You brought your hands to your eyes as you tried running it, you opened your eyes but it was still pitch black.

You heard someone talking about something, they said,

❝ Erh, I better hurry up and find that uniform before someone spots me..❞ you heard their voice, their sounded quite annoying. You thought that some creeps kidnapped you but uniform? You sighed as you thought about something, there's no way you're at school again..

[thecluelessdoctor]

me and my friend recently got into a debate with myself about how many murders William Afton commit SO HERE WE GO IMA TALK ABOUT THE NUMBER OF (direct and indirect) MURDERS WILL COULD HAVE DONE.

I believe he has done around 15 murders, give or take

This will also only be following the games chaotic lore, and not the movie lore

So ofc, we have the first 5, who I don't remember the names of.

THEN. We have the next five, the ones in fnaf. 2 I think. Honestly I'm not too sure if they are canon, but I say they are and my opinion is correct/j

So that puts us at ten victims. We also have Charlie, the believed first to this snowball of chaos, so that makes eleven. Nice

Now your probably wondering 'golly gee dot, who else could their be!'

TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE INDIRECT MURDERS!

First, the crying child. We know it was Fred bear's jaw that crushed their skull. This was probably due to old or poorly made supports, which could only happen if built wrong or not being taken care of, meaning William and Henry are to blame, even if not meaning to have this happen, they could still be put at fault.

Second, we have Elizabeth. Now I know we know will told her not to go near baby. BUT LIKE. WILL YOU WERE THE ONE THAT MADE A MURDER ROBOT. even though William didn't mean for her to be the victim, he still made the robots for the sole purpose of killing. Like will don't get lazy do your own murders.

Third, we have mike. The one we are being FNaF SL. Yk the one who gets his insides ice cream scooped. Again, William was the one who made the lying murder robots.

Fourth, we have ballora's spirit. This is probably the spirit the fandom knows the least about so like everyone has a different opinion lmao.

I should probably make my own totally correct version of the FNAF game lore.

We all know my lore for the movie *William do be shaggy*

Anyway I'm Dotty, and sweet heavens someone stop me from watching people play horrible horror games

[sevlawless]

nothing without you

pairing: m!seven lawless x f!mc (arabella aveiro)

word count: 962

warnings: none just arabella going THROUGH IT

tags: @blainehayes @agentdumortain @valcubust-main

notes: so the @infamous-if brain rot is here and it's very fucking real lmfao- ever since i played i have not been able to stop thinking about it and more specifically, how my mc would cope post break up with seven. something something i still love you i still have to live that but how does ANYONE live with that .. anyway here it is! the song arabella sings is honeysuckle by pom pom squad

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

if i'm nothing without you, am i anything at all?

the chorus rattles around in her head long after she stops singing it. she seems to be frozen in place, her thoughts drowning out the ability to do anything else, although she does notice the faint sound of silence. the rest of dead apple have long stopped playing, but no one says anything. they seem to be doing that a lot lately when it comes to her.

she wasn't even supposed to be at this rehearsal, and she even agreed with her bandmates when they suggested she take some time away to process everything. the music can wait while she figures out how to move forward.

but all she can think about is music, all she could think about while she spent the last two weeks trying to pull herself back together is to write songs.

how do you go through something so traumatic and not write about it?

losing sev- just his name passing through her brain is enough to make her eyes clench shut, gripping the microphone stand in front for her tighter.

losing him is the worst pain she's ever felt in her life. how do you go from talking to someone every single day for the past eleven years to suddenly no contact? how does anyone cope with that? she'd really like to know.

it doesn't help that she was so unbelievably in love with him. she never was one to believe in soulmates but no matter how dumb she thought it was, she considered seven to be her's.

a soulmate who now wants nothing to do with you.

she lets out a ragged breath, which prompts someone reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"arabella-" it's rowan, his voice uncharacteristically timid, and it makes her stomach churn. she shrugs his hand off and turns to face him.

"i'm fine," she snaps, wincing at the tone in her voice. he's staring at her pitifully. if she dared to glance at the others they would share the same look.

they were just as much friends with seven as she was. why are they all so fucking concerned for her in particular? a part of her wants to say that if they were so upset about her, they never would have taken that stupid vote in the first place. the vote that ruined everything.

seeing the look on seven's face, the hurt in his eyes, the betrayal-

she can't think about this right now. she's spent the last two weeks trying to move on and fuck if she's about to cry in front of the band over this.

she turns back around, storming toward the exit. as she yanks the door open and slams it behind her, she wonders if anyone will come after her.

they don't.

she can't even get into the car before she's a sobbing mess, hands shaking as she clambers into her vehicle, resting her head against the steering wheel. her hands are balled into tight fists as she considers if punching something would help the pain subside. it didn't help last time.

last time. that night casts an unbearable weight down on her and makes her shoulders shake as she recalls her and seven screaming at each other in drunken rage, both saying things they can never take back. going to a place they could never come back from. when he left she punched a hole in the wall and her hand flares up as a reminder. her bruised knuckles are starting to heal now, and some part of her wishes they weren't. maybe so she could have one last piece of seven to remember him by. just one last trace of the effect he had on her so it didn't feel like the eleven years she spent with him were for nothing.

they can't just be nothing.

right?

that seems to be what they are now- he hasn't talked to her since that night and every day, every hour it feels like she pulls up his contact info out of reflex to tell him something. a joke, a lyric for a song, a text just to tell him she's thinking of him. she always manages to realize what she's doing before she hits send and she doesn't think that will get any easier.

if i'm nothing without you, am i anything at all?

the lyrics she wrote down one night after getting drunk in an attempt to get him out of her brain dance around in her mind again.

she can't remember the person she was before seven. it's not the one who stares back at her now as she wipes her eyes and looks into the rearview mirror.

would she like that person? would they be friends? she never thought about it until now. she never thought she would have to.

how do you move on from someone that was so inexplicably tethered to you? where there was arabella, seven was right there next to her.

she looks across to the passenger seat that seven used to occupy every day and is met with no one there. she sees the grey headrest where a black mop of hair used to lie. she sees the middle console where his fingers used to drum to the beat of whatever was playing through the speakers. she sees the dash where he used to lay his worn out combat boots on.

emptiness eats away at her until all she can do is let out another sob.

some part of her wonders if he even feels a fraction of what she does. he has to. for her own peace of mind, she hopes this has been as hard on him as it has on her.

but she wouldn't know.

[kimbapisnotsushi]

can i get a uhhhhhhhh datekou swimming headcanons? can or cannot, swimming vs diving vs just floating around, how they do it, pool behaviours, beach behaviours, lake behaviours, river behaviours, anything you have is fine, for the whole team btw, please and thank you 🍪

anon i want you to know this is probably the most random most specific ask i have ever gotten and that makes it extremely funny thank you

also i feel like i need to add the quick disclaimer that i can't swim nor do i frequently visit rivers and lakes so like. i am VERY much out of my depth here (but i do love the beach!)

okay first let's divide between who can or cannot swim

can swim: moniwa, futakuchi, nametsu, aone, obara, sakunami, kamasaki (kamasaki and futakuchi will IMMEDIATELY start a race and will rope entire strangers into it) cannot swim but can at least float: onagawa, sasaya, fukiage only knows how to doggy paddle: koganegawa

a beach trip would be SO intensely chaotic btw the logistics are a fucking nightmare

if they took the train/bus they'd take up half the space. they'd need to take two separate cars bc there are eleven of them. i guess they COULD take whatever van it is they use to get to away games but who in the world is going to drive them, oiwake??? no way in hell they give that man enough migraines DURING school he does NOT wish to be tortured outside of it

(is what he says. but he loves this team and he cares about this team and he tells them that they deserve a break, so why not? it won't stop him from grumbling about needing to take like five cans of coffee with him tho)

oiwake immediately regrets his decision when futakuchi rolls up in oversized sunglasses, one of those big floppy straw hats, and an open hawaiian shirt over a tank top that says "sun's out buns out" a la terribly translated english misprints. futakuchi has no idea what it means

aone has a matching tank top too and on the other hand he DOES know what it says he's just praying that nobody asks him because he has no idea how he's going to explain it

i can see onagawa just being the type of guy who sits and chills under the umbrella with a book and occasionally wanders off to get food, especially shaved ice

he attracts a lot of attention anyways bc his swim trunks look like they belong on the floor of an american retro-style arcade (shoutout to @prick-love-for-pricking for that)

he DOES get up to join the others in dunking futakuchi underwater after sakunami called it a "team bonding exercise"

everyone worries about sakunami btw because "oh my god what if he falls down and gets washed away WHAT IF HE DROWNS WHEN WE'RE NOT LOOKING HE COULD LITERALLY GET KNOCKED OVER BY A WAVE"

futakuchi suggests getting a balloon and tying it around sakunami's wrist like that one picture of the turtle walking around the office or whatever it was

they don't do this but moniwa DOES get a pair of horrifically neon-orange sunglasses and makes sakunami wear them on his head like some kind of beacon

kogane is constantly sending pictures to his fellow first-year mock sports camp club btw and most of the others won't admit it but they are SUPER jealous

kamasaki, while everyone is lounging in the ocean: "so . . . . have any of you guys seen jaws?" futakuchi: "if you don't shut up right now i WILL drown you"

when aone gets tired of the ocean he recruits anyone on land to build a sand castle with him and somehow ends up roping, like, five little kids into helping him build the ultimate sand fortress

so he ends up with obara, kogane, nametsu, and oiwake and a little army of five-to-seven-year-olds

those same kids BEG to play volleyball with everyone once they hear that they're a team btw

so everyone - third years and nametsu included - divides into teams of littles vs high schoolers and ask oiwake to keep score

(the little kids are SUPER impressed with sakunami. one of them tells sakunami that they want to be a libero just like him and sakunami doesn't cry, exactly, but it's a close thing)

they keep rotating people in and out and across teams so that aone is on team a one match then switches with fukiage on team b for the next and so on and so forth and honestly who even cares about who's winning or losing when they're all having so much fun?

they fall asleep on the ride home, all curled up on each other and heads resting on shoulders and all that. oiwake wishes he had his hands free to take a picture, but oh well. some memories are better off swept away with the moment.

[whumpsday]

Kane & Jim #50: On Your Own

Chronological masterlist / Writing order masterlist

content: angst, parental death, kids grappling with newfound orphanhood, religious angst, pandemic, discussion of foster system, very vaguely referenced past child abuse, flashback to hospital setting

takes place 4 years before You're Mine Now. the hardest time of Jim’s life pre-Kane. he doesn’t like to think about it very much. this isn’t really ‘whump’, more ‘angst’, but i hope you enjoy it anyway.

@amonthofwhump​ March Trope-A-Thon Day 5: Sickfic / Fevers / Cold/Flu / Headache / Blankets & A Hot Drink

Jim kind of expected someone to come after the funeral. A social worker or orphanage owner or however this shit worked. Did orphanages still exist, or was that just in movies? He never thought he'd have to think about it.

But no one came.

Well, people came. His friends, Mom and Dad's friends, Rabbi Geller, other people from temple, Liz's friends' parents, even Liz's teacher from the elementary school. They brought food, and said I'm sorry for your loss and May their memory be a blessing so many times that the words lost all meaning.

It felt like the kind of thing Mom would tell him to just be polite for, but Mom wasn’t here. Mom would never be here again. It still didn’t feel real.

But that wasn't what he meant. Someone was supposed to come get them, right? Because he was only fifteen, and Liz was only eleven, and they didn’t have any other family. Right?

Someone was going to come help him, right?

Liz was a nightmare. Jim felt like he didn’t even have a second to think. He was used to watching Liz- Mom and Dad worked long hours, after all- but now it was all time, especially because they hadn’t gone back to school yet.

She was throwing another tantrum. Jim felt like they were only getting worse. He cringed as a plate flew into the wall, shattering with a crash barely audible above Liz’s incessant screeching.

“Lizzie, you gotta stop. You’re too old for this.” Jim fought off his pounding headache as he got right in front of her, blocking her as she reared her arm back to throw another.

“No I’m not!” she yelled, darting to the side and throwing the plate as hard as she could, shattering it against the wall. Tears streamed down her face.

Jim let out an exasperated groan. “Stop! Yes you are! Go to your room!”

“You can’t tell me what to do!” Liz ran back into the kitchen.

Fuck, she was gonna get another plate. Jim ran after her, blocking the cabinet. “Yes I can! I’m in charge now, go to your room!”

“I hate you!” Liz shouted. She kicked him in the shin before running up the stairs, slamming her door.

Jim rubbed his temple, his headache only getting worse. He thought about breaking into Mom and Dad’s drink. It wasn’t like anyone was around to stop him. But he didn’t.

Instead, he fought back tears and grabbed the broom and dustpan. He was tired of crying. Just when he was finishing cleanup, Liz appeared at the top of the stairs, holding her bear tight in her arms. She hadn’t carried that thing around since she was 6, but things were different now, he figured.

“You calmed down yet?” he asked.

“Sorry.” She squeezed her bear tighter, avoiding eye contact.

Jim shrugged, dumping the last of the shatters in the trash. “It’s cleaned up now anyway.” His eyes drifted over to the stove. “How about I make some hot chocolate?”

“But it’s summer,” Liz protested half-heartedly.

“Who cares? We’re sitting shiva,” Jim pointed out. “Do you not want hot chocolate?”

“...I want it.” She sat herself on the couch.

This was something he could do without fucking up, at least. He barely even had to think about it, just focus on the steps. Set some whole milk over heat. Cocoa powder, sugar, a dash of vanilla, and the part people always miss: chocolate chips and a little bit of cinnamon.

He poured in some half-and-half to make it extra creamy and cool it enough that Liz wouldn’t burn herself, and topped it with some mini marshmallows before bringing the mugs out, handing one to Liz.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, sipping immediately without blowing on it.

“You’re gonna burn your mouth, stupid,” Jim chided lightheartedly.

Liz rolled her eyes. “No I’m not ‘cause you always put extra milk in after.”

“Because you never give it a minute to cool down!” He ruffled her hair. “No more throwing shit, okay? Or if you need to, use stuffed animals or something. Why’d you do that, anyway?”

Liz was quiet for a long moment, sipping her drink. “I dunno,” she mumbled.

“How about next time you wanna do that, come get me. We can make it into a game, yeah? We could play catch or something. Not with plates,” he suggested.

“It’s not supposed to be a game.” She took another sip, eyes too stormy for an eleven year old.

Jim took the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it around Liz’s shoulders. “Okay. Come get me anyway. We’ll figure it out.”

-

No one from the government came. Even after a week. Even after they were done sitting shiva and Jim made Liz start going back to school, another nightmare of an argument.

He wished he could’ve asked Mom or Dad for advice. Liz almost always listened to them, at least about the important stuff. It felt like someone was tearing a fresh shred in his heart every time he missed them.

After he finished walking her, he turned and made his way to temple on a whim. He only went to temple a couple times a year, on the holidays when Mom wanted everyone to go as a family. He hadn’t even brought his kippah. But he doubted anyone would really care, and he needed advice, and it was this or a teacher, even if Jim hadn’t talked to the guy since his bar mitzvah. Before the funeral, that is.

“Hey, Rabbi Geller.”

“Good morning, James.” The rabbi gave him a sad smile. “How are you and your sister holding up?”

“Uh, y’know.” He shrugged awkwardly. “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a sec?”

“Of course. Let’s go to my office for some privacy.” The rabbi led him to the office and gestured for him to sit. “What can I do for you?”

“I’m not here for anything, uh, spiritual or whatever,” he clarified quickly. “I just needed some advice about something. Um, is someone gonna... come get us?”

The rabbi’s brows furrowed in concern. “No one’s come to get you? Who is it you and your sister will be staying with? I know Beth said she didn’t have much family...”

“Mom and Dad were both wards of the state or whatever,” Jim said awkwardly. “Kinda thought we would be too, now. But, uh... no one came. I wasn’t really sure what to do. Plus Liz is throwing things and refusing to go to school and stuff.”

“I’m so sorry you’ve been left floundering. I should have been there to see to it.” The rabbi sighed. “Things have been hectic. This flu’s taken quite a toll. It’s lucky you even caught me here. If you ever need something and can’t find me, the funeral home’s likely where I am.”

Jim knew he was one of the lucky ones. He and Liz both got sick too, but they recovered. It was no wonder they all got it, with Mom being a nurse and all. He didn’t really feel lucky right now.

“The government... tends to overlook this town,” the rabbi continued. “No one wants to come here, even during the day when it’s safe. I can certainly get in touch with people for you and make sure someone gets you two set up in a foster home. I’d just like you to think about your options first.”

“Options?” Jim questioned.

“James, do you remember your bar mitzvah two years ago? I sure do. You were very well-spoken.” The rabbi gave him a kind smile.

“Uh-huh.” He kicked his feet, unsure where this was going.

“A bar mitzvah is when a boy becomes a man, as we discussed. Now, I certainly don’t believe a thirteen year old boy to be a man in the modern day, nor a fifteen year old boy. But you are the man of the house now, and you’re going to have to make some adult decisions no one should have to make at your age.”

The rabbi sighed again, his breath full of grief. “The foster system isn’t known for its kindness. I’m not sure how much your parents have told you of their own experiences. Children your age aren’t likely to be adopted, and you’ll be spit out three years later and possibly separated from your sister. Since no one’s come to claim you, one option you have is to continue living where you are. Your parents managed to buy a house here, and you won’t get much from its sale, if you’re able to sell it at all- again, this town is not most people’s destination."

Mom and Dad didn’t like to talk about their childhoods much, and Jim never pried. He figured that if they didn’t want him to know, he didn’t want to know either.

“This isn’t a decision you have to make right away. You’re grieving. Someone from the state may come to collect you yet. Both options have their benefits, and I don’t want to force you into either one of them. Just know that I’m here if you need anything I can provide, and that God is watching over you,” the rabbi said warmly.

Jim could barely hear anything over Liz’s crying and the sounds of the hospital. One of the nurses was trying to pry her off of Dad’s body, but he was too focused on Mom to pay much attention.

She wasn’t conscious anymore. Her last words before she fell asleep were ‘I love you’, and that scared him, because he knew she probably did that on purpose.

He prayed and prayed, despite his unsure feelings of God’s existence. It was the only thing he could do. Tears streamed down his face as he offered more and more words to the higher power Mom believed in with her whole heart, his voice still raspy from his own recently-gotten-over flu.

He wasn’t sure whether it was the ringing in his ears or the flatline until a nurse pushed him out of the way.

“I don’t really believe in that stuff anymore,” Jim muttered.

“Yes, I imagine you might not. That’s perfectly normal.” The rabbi gave him a pat on the shoulder. “Still, I’m certainly real, and I’m here for whatever you need.”

Jim knew that didn’t include taking them in. Rabbi Geller had four kids of his own, and no one lived here if they had a lot of money.

“Thanks, Rabbi. Um, thanks for the advice. And for not just calling the government on me and letting me pick and whatever. I’ll think about it.”

-

Liz was being a brat again after Jim walked her home from school. Before Mom and Dad died, she only had bad days every once in a while, but now it was every single day. Wild mood swings where she’d get angry and even violent, before she calmed down and apologized tearfully.

Part of him, the part he’d never dream of voicing, almost wanted to take Rabbi Geller’s offer to help them get placed in a foster home in the hopes they do get separated. He didn’t know how much more of this he could take.

But he knew he didn’t actually want that.

“I’m sorry,” Liz said, helping him tidy up the living room after she’d finished trashing it. As if reading his mind, she asked, “You’re not gonna go too, right?”

Maybe she could just sense how irritated he was. But it was right then and there his mind was made up.

Jim smiled at her. “I’m not going anywhere.”

-

taglist to be added in reblog!