#anyways this is a long way of saying that my related-family dynamics are so confusing to me and make it hard to process anything

[famewolf]

still trying to process my grandma passing away earlier in the week and just now found out that my dad was diagnosed with throat cancer. I hope he managed to catch it early, it sounds like his doctor's are deciding what the best action to take is.

[piracytheorist]

Spy x Family Code: White thoughts!

Alright, time to write down my thoughts about the film! I liked it a lot, and for this anime only it was a HUGE satisfactory dose after not having had anything new since December 🥲 there were a few parts that I found meh, and I will mention them here too, but overall I got a very positive view of it!

Related to this, my mom was in the next room where I was sitting watching the film, and when I finished and passed by to get some water, she asked me what film I watched that made me laugh so much. So I think that speaks for itself 😂

Anyway, on to the film!

Having seen the trailer where Twilight rips off the disguise of a woman with long, curly blonde hair, as soon as I saw her here I was like is that her? But then that guy appeared and I recognized his voice and, dare I say I was confused XD

Damn, isn't that past their rating? XD

And then the music started! STRIX theme with a new twist for the film!

I think by this point we've already shrugged away Twilight's ability to make disguises. It gets even crazier near the end, so it should be of no surprise that he just disguised himself as that woman. Lucky she happened to wear a choker, too, good cover for his Adam's apple.

The way they showed the woman wrapped in a blanket underneath the desk, though 😳 that's the kind of visual you'd use to show a character died. What am I supposed to infer from this, guys?!

Then we cut to Yor!

There's a review on letterboxd saying how easy the film is to watch and follow for someone who hasn't watched the original, and I'm happy to hear that because as someone who already knows these characters and their dynamics, it didn't feel like it dragged on too much on that.

Yor, ever being the sweetheart, will call a guy a traitorous scumbag yes but she will be kind as ever when she kills him 🥰

The way she dodged the bullets! Queen! And also a set up to later show her dodge all the ammunition thrown from the shooters and Type F!

This. Was. Amazing. I actually gasped out loud. The animators understood the assignment, 10/10.

Right after that, we see Loid reach his door, and for the first time we see him go to use keys. A few other times I remember anyone opening the door they just... opened it. You'd think an apartment where a spy and an assassin live would have better security! XD

I love how they kinda showed it like Yor was going to attack Loid, and then Loid just turned and went like "Oh hey beautiful wife, welcome home! :D" It must have looked funny for anyone who hasn't seen the anime/manga before XD

Yor wants to cook! Everybody hide!

That... is a horror of an omelet. Yor's cooking is always for the "congrats lil buddy that’s the worst anyone’s ever done it" meme. She does try, though, bless her heart.

Anya evades the horror. And Loid wants to make... peanut butter pizza???? Is that even a thing??? WITH MEAT ON TOP???

What does it say about this film that this isn't the weirdest thing to happen in it

TITLE CARD WITH THE THEME ENDING AND THE ORCHESTRA GOING WILD <3333

Damian, shut the fuck up

... I mean, with a mother like that... I'll give this to him XD

Did Anya call him an asshole? Serves him right, tbh XD

Knowing that the story can't veer a lot far from the anime/manga canon, I already knew Anya wouldn't earn a Stella in that competition. But it was a good set-up for the rest of the film to move on from.

Twilight read Henderson's lips through a window and through the latter's thick moustache, and lip reading is already hard to do accurately, if not nearly impossible. Boy's nuts. But I think it only prepared us for a fucking falcon to fly above him and throw him the message from WISE. Show-offs XD

A rare view of Berlint!

DAAAAMN the higher animation budget is really doing those characters such good favour 🥰

Bro actually read a book by flipping through it. Get outta town.

The idea of having another guy take over Operation Strix from Twilight feels a little shallow. It's already a very delicate and long-term operation, it feels that it wouldn't make sense to replace their best agent with just a dude just because said dude has connections.

Twilight meets with Nightfall outside, and Yor sees them across all those streets (I mean, she is an assassin with a deadly aim) and... she doesn't recognize Nightfall? Is this supposed to take place before Nightfall visits the Forger household?

I mean, at the current time in the anime, Yor is supposed to be over her fear of getting replaced, but I get why they retreated back a little, so they could explain the later scene of Loid taking her hand and reminding her of his vows.

Very conveniently, Yor's coworkers are chatting about cheating men, and Yor, being inexperienced with relationships, immediately believes everything, her suspicions even taking root with what she just saw.

Back home, Twilight thinks about how, since he's dismissed from Operation Strix, he'll have to move out, and the camera shows their happy family picture 🥺 he's not ready to admit his feelings to himself but the narrative is.

Making the dessert that's the favourite of the judge and in particular the one he grew up with feels kinda cheating, no? XD

Come on, Loid. A child filling her bag with toys does not deserve that murder glare 😂

That train looked a little too modern for the supposed 60s/70s aesthetic. I know Germany has some top trains (as does Japan) but like, still XD it's very different from the train we see on the very first episode when Twilight boards one for Berlint.

Lovely visuals, though!

I wonder if there's any system as to how Bond's powers work. He has the vision of Anya finding the suitcase and opening it... but that's creating a sort of paradox because without the vision coming to him and without Anya seeing it, it wouldn't have been made true. I mean, I get why it was put there, but still.

Again, the story needed a little backtracking in order for Yor's doubts to make sense. I'm not sure how much they contributed to the whole story, but at least there it was funny. The small awkward laugh she throws at the end before she exits their booth to go look for Anya was hilarious XD

Gremlin Anya is best Anya <3

LMAO at least she enjoyed the chocolate XD

The following part was intense! I found myself saying "Run Anya run!" even though I knew from trailers that they'd eventually catch her anyway.

So the microfilm hides intelligence about a research lab in Westalis. Hmm.

I think it was at this point I noticed that they had Anya react to people's thoughts way too little. I get that it can get repetitive but with her curiosity she would have tried to look for more information through the guys' thoughts.

"Chocolate thieves" is actually perfect to describe those two. They were conveniently - and hilariously - incompetent.

But it did get intense. It's always like that when a bad guy threatens to hurt, let alone kill, a child.

I love how Yor asked Anya to close her eyes while she was beating up the guys but then told her she can open them when they were down and fully expected her to believe her lie that they just passed out XD

Also, her snowman jgvllublftlulbj

Chekhov's military airplane! I didn't expect it would actually work by the end, though XD

I love the music in the restaurant. Poor Bond being left alone outside where it's snowing, though 🥲 at least they brought him food!

Yor notices that it's rare for Loid to wear turtlenecks, and that's actually true. Too bad, though, they fit him so nicely :)

I actually laughed out loud at the guys jumping on Yuri to stop him. They were prepared. They knew who they were dealing with XD

"Rubble and Bonds"... the chef is very wholesome but he literally named his restaurant after his trauma and like... dude. Therapy exists. And then he starts laying out his trauma thick while Twilight is sitting there like yup this doesn't affect me at all

I don't think he was prepared for that when he asked about the restaurant's name. I was kinda disappointed they showed the exact same footage of him as a kid from the first episode. I think they could have afforded making a few seconds of new footage of the same imagery. But maybe that's just my anime-only ass who has been waiting for a certain manga arc to be animated for nearly two years now 😶

Snidel appears! And he has the absolute nerve to just... steal the meremere plate from someone else's table. Perfect way to make us hate him.

And... I'm sorry. I have to say it. When Snidel challenges Loid to a game and the camera focuses on Loid... that zoom-in and fade to black was SO CRINGEY. Sorry XD

The music there was nice, though. I think I notice a tiny bit of James Bond music influence.

Fucking Snidel shifting the goalposts with the amounts of sugar. That's not being detailed, that's not explaining the rules of the game properly. They really wanted us to hate the guy.

Twilight looks really stricken by the fact that he lost. And we know it's not because of despair - since he immediately says they can have meremere the next day - and it's not because his pride was hurt... so you can't take it out of my mind that it was because he was disgusted by how a grown-ass man practically stole a piece of cake from a little child, and Twilight was unable to stop him.

But then XD Loid has the absolute gall to ask a chef for his recipe, and then reprimand Anya for calling him stingy. Like mah dude it was already a far-fetched request to have the guy give you the recipe XD

Twilight being totally not suspicious and bolting through the market to buy all the ingredients. Cause that's what normal people do.

The way Twilight tries to cheer Yor up and he only manages to make her feel worse never disappoints XD

Right, I forgot this film was released in December in Japan. It feels weird for it to have a winter-y, almost Christmas-y feeling while I have my A/C on XD

I like how Twilight actually cared enough to expose the guy at the shooting gallery, and advise him to run an honest business. You'd think this would be low on his priorities... but having a child will expand your sensitivities. It feels similar to how he encouraged Carroll Campbell into playing tennis more fairly and to depend on his own strengths.

And then he wonders why a little child has fun on a train ride XD

I... am not sure how I feel about Yor's outburst there. It feels directly inspired by the Disastrous Date, if not a copy of it, and I'm not sure it helps Yor's character develop in any way. I mean, again, I get that the film can't allow the characters to develop a lot since it can't veer from canon, but still, it felt a little forced just to give Yor more screentime and to have a very subtle twiyor tease.

Anya finding out about divorce through Becky's soap-opera filter, though XD

They feel too confident leaving Anya all alone (even if she's with Bond) in a strange town. I know they can keep an eye on her from the ferris wheel cabin, but still.

Now that's a character development moment you can have without veering from canon: having Yor feel guilty for allowing Anya to notice her dark mood, and then feeling happy that Anya pushed her and Loid to having a moment together to talk things out.

Also, beautiful visuals!

Twilight, best™ spy™ of Westalis™, being unable to read the room whenever his wife is involved.

MAH DUDE. THERE'S ONE THING TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND THAT'S BEING TOO DIRECT

That's a phrase you don't wanna hear from your little kid, especially when you're fake married XD

Handler: Go and help Twilight. Nightfall: Yes ma'am! Handler: Not you. Nightfall: SENPAI WILL NOTICE ME SENPAI WILL NOTICE ME Handler: jfc

It was really sweet seeing Anya and Bond play, and then Yor joining in. That makes it more plausible that the film is set earlier on in the story, since it looks like Yor isn't used to playing with Anya.

No, really, what did that woman who was at Franky's kiosk want to ask him when she would come by with her friend??? 😳

One day the way Twilight abuses Franky's services will come bite him in the ass, I'm calling it now.

Yet another scene where character/relationship dynamic can happen without veering from canon: Loid comes back to the hotel and says he'll go out again, Anya says she wants to come too, and Loid tells her she has to stay in the hotel. Anya goes back to the bedroom dejected, but Yor reminds him it's a family trip and they're supposed to spend this time together, connecting that to her memories of Yuri being happy whenever he spent time with her.

And I think that speaks to another level of distance Twilight has kept from his emotions; he denies himself that he loves his family, but that also leads him to forget that his family won't like missing out on quality time with him.

I especially noticed his surprised reaction at Yor saying that being away from loved ones can make one feel lonely. I don't think Twilight has allowed himself to grasp just how lonely he's felt all these years, it was just the norm for him to have no-one. He's forgotten what it's like to have loved ones and to miss them when you don't get to spend enough time with them, and he's also forgotten that for most people, this is how everyday life is like. We love people, we like spending time with them, we miss them when we haven't seen them in a while. A master of disguises he may be, but this role forces him to face the thing he understands the least: human relationships.

And so, he realizes that Anya's motivation here wasn't petulance or restlessness. It was her need to have fun with him. He considered it easier to sneak around to find the liqueur if they weren't with him, but he failed to consider that casting them aside would actually impact them. Give yourself some credit, dude 🥺

Nightfall: I will surprise Twilight with my effectiveness!

Twilight when he sees her unexpectedly:

I did love however how he looked so sternly at her when they were outside. Like lady, first, bad timing, second, this is why Handler didn't want you to be the one to help Twilight XD

Once again, Bond's power works in a form of paradox. He saw the shop where the liqueur was, and Anya went there because she saw it. If she hadn't seen it, she wouldn't have gone, and Bond wouldn't have had the vision.

I love how the military guys get a rough sketch of Anya and go like "Nah no-one can actually look like this" XD

Anya must have swiped some dalcs as she ran off. That liqueur wasn't gonna be cheap!

Poor Bond!

Endo has surrounded Anya with two physically exceptional parents and a big strong dog to protect her, so it's hard to make a case of her getting kidnapped believable. Realistically, I think Bond would have fought harder to keep her safe, but to achieve the kidnapping the bad guys would have had to get more violent with him. That would make for a sadder scene and also take away from the humor of those guys' incompetence, so the most violence against an animal they could resort to was a conveniently falling beer can.

And thus, the "Anya Has to Poop" side plot starts! With the amount of fear she went through in those scenes, I'm surprised she didn't just... accidentally let go 😶

I just realized when Loid was checking the plane's radio they were also refuelling it. Again, kind of a surprise the whole system worked XD They were a little too chill about the fact that Anya was with the military, though? Maybe I got the wrong vibe off of their acting, lol.

The way that Yor decides at the last moment to join Loid and just... runs and jumps into a plane that's right on takeoff. Madwoman. I love her.

Meanwhile, at least Nightfall is funny XD

They really went on and made an entire sequence in a different animation style for a poop joke. Respect where it's due 👏

Someone: So how did you save world peace this time? Anya: I refused to take a shit.

The incompetent duo have a bedpan that's shaped like a duck and, funny thing... in Greek the word for "bedpan" can also be called, colloquially, with the same word that we use for "duck". So. There's that random connection I found funny XD

Twilight tries to ask for permission to land on the airship and they immediately turn their guns on him and damn, that must be terrifying.

And damn, again, that's a huge risk he took just to get Anya back. My man was prepared to do anything. And he walked out of the plane crashing into the airship without a single scratch like GET OUT OF HERE. I wanted my whump and I only got a single drip of blood near the end 😞 when will I have my whump.

And then Yor just... ran on the top of the airship, fully exposed to the freezing weather of not only outside but also a few hundred (thousand?) feet off the ground. My girl runs on hot steam. AND THEN SHE ALSO FUCKING TOOK HER COAT OFF.

Meanwhile, Anya finally finds a private moment to take a shit. And that marks the end of the wackiest plotline in this movie XD

Okay now, look. I can maybe imagine Twilight quickly making up a mask of Snidel's face from earlier in the day (though he wasn't shown to have any time to do that), and he somehow had it ready when the time came for their duel. But making a mask of that random military guy? Yeah, my suspension of disbelief is stronger for that than for freaking time travel XD

Yor also has her moment of going like "Excuse me, may I ask a question" and immediately getting guns aimed at her.

Damn. What the actual fuck is Type F even. At first I thought it was a full-on robot, but apparently it's a modified human? The fuck. Also. Just how many fucking bullets does he have???!

For real, though, Snidel isn't fucking around. He not only is fine with murdering a kid in cold blood, he also finds it entertaining to make her terrified as well. Like, even that guy from the Doggy Crisis arc said "Nothing personal, kid," when Keith commanded him to kill her.

And then Twilight overhears the incompetent dudes mention Anya... and mighty spy Twilight's emotions get the best of him and he beats up those guys for no other reason than getting back at them? More likely than you think.

Fuck, that scared me. That bullet was literally millimeters from piercing his brain. Cool visual, though, with his real hair popping from beneath the mask.

Anya worrying about her papa :(

Okay, I don't care about the logistics. This was fucking awesome.

AND THEN THIS???

10/10. They understood the assignment.

AND THEN THE OTHER THING???

QUEEN SHIT.

No, but really, their fight was going in circles because Type F has a shit ton of bullets and Yor has great stamina and ability to dodge bullets. She can't win with her strength, so she has to use her brain and her environment. AND SHE SLAYS 👏👏👏

My dude why are you still surprised 😭😭 what did you expect your kidnapped daughter to do once she saw you came to her rescue 😭 HUG YOUR DAUGHTER BACK I BEG 😭

Nah, I know he can't yet, this guy's got the emotional type of constipation. He'll get there.

So we'll never know what he thought about her sneaking out to get him the liqueur, and why that made her smile, eh? Okay 🥲

I love how Yor and Loid just both buy each other's lies. Oh yeah I just decided to jump on your plane while you were taking off, no biggie! Yeah this military ship was totally run by chocolate thieves! And also, I was flying part-time as a student :D

(I also love how high his voice went there. It's full-on "nice sweet Dr. Forger" voice XD)

And then :)

My crops are watered :)

With the action part over, I gotta say that they handled it all of it awesomely! I felt that the whole film was a little slow at first, but I didn't really mind. The climax was great, I got my whump, I got my fake family working together with all of them pretending that oh it was just chocolate thieves and not an actual threat of war breaking out.

My question is... didn't Anya just gulp the chocolate down?

... how did the microfilm get stuck in her teeth?

... you know what, never mind XD

Aw, Twilight got Handler a bottle of wine! And she actually looked thankful for it!

... was she the one who went in disguise to trap Depple into cheating on his wife??

*squealing*

Yor offering to help with the dessert and everyone going "Naaaaah you don't have to 😁"

Damian, shut the fuck up.

It is funny, however, how Anya can say one (1) thing and unintentionally leave him a blubbering mess. Girl is not even trying for that, lmao.

And then, another trip! Buddy who has the time and money--

Oh, wait. Yeah they're going on vacation on WISE budget lmao XD

It's kinda funny to see this with me having the Cruise arc as the "last" I saw of them, as an anime only, cause it was "trip to the ocean!" then "trip to the north!" and now it's "trip to the beach!"

Aw!

Meanwhile, after the credits...

Hang in there buddy. Your time will come to get Twilight back XD

Overall, definitely recommended, it did have its weak parts and its parts that you had to happily kick your logic out the window, but it was great fun, with awesome action, character depth, and even angsty parts that I adored. This will keep my anime-only ass satisfied for a little while, hopefully we also get news about Season 3 soon!

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #29

Jumping off from my previous and pending liveblogs through The Battle of Big Wand -> but this is mostly me talking about Dale headcanons and 'fics

Partway through my next liveblog post, I started rambling about Dale and doodled a joke, and... it got really long, so now it's in its own post.

I'm sorry you have to see this, SDKFLJ...

Mildly suggestive stick figure honeymoon doodles - #ScarletPenguin

why does he still look anxious and pathetic even when he's plotting a takeover... he's the goofiest guy. I love him.

Liveblog Notes

As far as me loving characters with traumatic backstories goes, I do enjoy Peri, but he has way too many blank spots in his lore and things that are making me look at him sideways, waiting for him to say something I can work with.

I would've liked to see more of his backstory come into play... I feel like that would've been a great episode theme focused on the Peri-Dev dynamic (Them figuring each other out, uncovering bits and pieces, struggling to find areas where they relate until they do... like the clinginess or abandonment issues). Hopefully we get that in the future.

- Don't get me wrong- I'm really enjoying Peri, but from a fanfic perspective, I don't have enough breadcrumbs that don't come from the OG series I based my aged-up Poof on anyway. - That said, still love the implication that he brought Dev to his parents' house while he ate too much sugar and Jorgen almost caught him, and I'm deeply interested in his many layers of trauma. No notes.

I can make up stuff for Peri, but... I've already been making up his story beats for 8 years, so I'm personally not excited at the thought of designing a new backstory from scratch if I don't have any springboards like his friends, school life, where he's been living, or what he did while his parents were gone for 10,000 years. The OG series gave me Sammy Sweetsparkle, Goldie, and Spellementary and Steve, my beloathed. I don't have much to go off here.

We don't even know what his relationship with Irep is, like if "Best of Luck" was the first time they'd seen each other since Spellementary and/or if Irep was banned from continuing his schooling. I mean... one would have to assume Irep has his godparenting license if he's allowed to jump in on Dev, but who knows...

Me just now blinking in confusion that Da Rules allow Irep to yoink Dev as a godkid when Irep blatantly disregards all the other Rules. Cherrypicker...

And yes, I can work with it if I want to, but I already write a bunch about their dynamic, teen, and adult years in Cloudlands AU, so... I'm fine letting other people deep-dive into him; I'll probably be surface level on my end <3

So... That's all set-up for why I think Dale is my favorite in this show... He captivates me by having this clearly defined mess I can pick at. Locked up and forced to make lemonade for 7 years? wild. We know what it was like, where he was, how old he was when it started, who did it, for how long, how he escaped, what his family situation was, and we saw Doug's estate in "Engine Blocked," so we have a decent idea of where he lived and how he grew up.

We've seen a lot of clues about how his trauma lingers around him today, how he forbids his son from drinking lemonade around him, he seems to be withholding details from Dev (who has no clue who Vicky is and seemed grumpy that lemonade is presumably a trigger for his dad and thus he's not allowed to have it). We also know how his young self ended up as an adult... We know he has meltdowns when he loses money and he doesn't bat an eye about stalking or hurting children...

We've got a partner missing from his life, so he's got single dad stress in there somewhere unless the O-pairs were there from the day Dev was born... potentially divorce or widower baggage and either of those is funny... I still think Doug might be dead in New Wish and that becomes increasingly likely the more I look at my age timeline compared to how old Doug was when he struck gold, which is canon in New Wish rather than given to us by the OG...

And if he and Vicky are the same age, were they friends when his torment started? You can even mess around with vibes like "Did Dale get a fairy?" or alternatively, "Why WASN'T he miserable enough to qualify for a fairy?" because that gets really dark if you start thinking about Vicky yo-yoing his emotions to keep him on the line above misery. What was she doing to him...

Like ??? unfortunately, the most obvious thing I can think of is that Dale was so blinded by his vision of Vicky being his friend (and/or crush?? idk) that he kept forgiving her, which is... awful.

We never got a confirmed reason why Tootie didn't have a godparent despite Vicky tormenting her daily, though I always felt like age or her blabbermouth tendencies might play into it (or she clung to Timmy for stability and thus wasn't miserable enough so long as Timmy was there to "support and comfort her" (her perspective). ?? Did Fairy World think it wasn't worth the paperwork to assign someone to Dale because they assumed he'd just make a single wish to free himself and then be fine? skdljf... I just can't stop thinking about it. It's not like his father's wealth disqualified him; Remy and Dev both had godparents assigned. Idk! I think about it a lot. Fascinating.

AND you're telling me this kid grew up with the OG cast after his escape?? There's a LOT there I can play with. Did he have to go to high school with Vicky? I want to believe he was homeschooled, but we never see Doug with a partner AND Doug is a busy person running a ton of businesses. The logical assumptions here would be either "Dale went to public high school" or "Dale was shipped off to boarding school" or something like that. Each of those comes with its own implications, which excites me.

As a bonus, this guy's severe trauma is connected to lemonade?? A drink that shows up a bunch of times throughout the OG series because it's just casual and everywhere? That's so funny...

Insert joke about how it's smart to give your protags weaknesses or fears that are commonplace so they'll run into them in a casual adventure or everyday life

And YET... Despite everything we know about him, there's still plenty of wiggle room for me to play with. I like that.

Honestly, I love the entire Dimmadome household... Dale and Dev and the O-pairs and Peri and the weight of absence of whomever else was in Dale's life once upon a time. Dev is a cool character at all, but at the end of the day, he's a 10-year-old bratty bully who's neglected and lonely. I appreciate him dearly, but it's nothing I haven't seen before.

Dale is my favorite. His utterly bizarre backstory has captivated me. I can make him worse <3

I did have a role planned for him in my Cloudlands AU 'fics - have since 2018 - but I was gonna play him as quiet and jumpy... Curious, easily excited, but not as fingers-in-every-pie as his father. But nowhere would I have guessed 7 years of trauma. And that changes everything. I'm extremely excited to play with that.

He's been on my backburner for ages as "one of those characters I want to delve into when Timmy's older and has a reason to cross paths with him, such as in the working world as Dale becomes more involved with the Dimmadome businesses." My plan's always been to make a funny trio of Dale, Remy, and Dale's wife [my very first FOP OC, Hadley] (whom I've been slowly setting up to become Remy's close friend in the 130 Prompts series when they're kids) and they're just... laid-back rich people who hang out and go on silly rich adventures.

Here's a fun Hadley profile, finally digital since I've only drawn her in colored pencils up 'til now!

In spite of me repeatedly mentioning her in my New Wish liveblogs, words cannot express how shocked I've been to see Dale, who was a tiny mention in the OG series, come back as a critical character...

My girl's shy husband in Cloudlands AU canon, whom she was betrothed to when neither loved the other, turned out to be a horrible person in A New Wish who's 99% likely to have divorced her, and I could NOT be more ecstatic to work with that in 'fic. It's like this was set up just for me! :D

- How funny would it be if they had a Season 2 arc where Dev disappears for a while because he's staying with his mom? lol. - If Dev's mom suddenly showed up because she'd just left for an extended work trip or something, would that be silly'd up or what?

Bonus Hadley Facts!

- She's 12 & 13 around Timmy's time period and attends middle school with Remy. They went to a dance together.

- She and Timmy are briefly in middle school together. They vaguely knew each other in elementary school before either had a fairy- I like to think they had multi-grade gym classes, field day, lunch, and stuff like that and sometimes saw each other.

- Never had Crocker as a teacher, but has crossed his path at the grocery store and stuff. She skirts around him.

- Her mom is a professional painter. She also has a blood blossom garden. Leadly keeps making Hadley give them to people he's trying to sus out as witches.

- Very aware of her dad's horrible dating life. Unfortunately knows he's chasing magical creatures because he's getting desperate for "idk, something new and fun" at this point. Bribes Cupid on the regular. Unclear if Cupid is screwing her dad's life up on purpose to keep the money coming in.

- Has been to Texas a bunch of times (Pencil Nexus has a branch there - "The Boss of Me").

- She hums the Pencil Nexus theme a lot, especially if she's waiting in a line or doing chores. She's bad at sneaking around because she'll forget she shouldn't hum.

- At the time of posting this, her two speaking appearances are in the 130 Prompts "Back In Action," where she's at the Jimmy-Timmy Power Hour dance chasing squirrels, and "Trying Too Hard," where Ed Leadly brings her along when he tries shaking Gary and Betty down for the Learnatorium (again); Hadley's very embarrassed.

- Although offscreen, she was heavily mentioned in "End of the World" when Timmy led Remy to her house so she could help with the cure for Juandissimo's fairy flu. She was briefly mentioned in "Opportunity" when Leadly put the pieces together and realized his daughter has a fairy godparent.

- Her surname was dropped in "Entire World," "Solo," and "Looking Back," confirming her as on the Pixies' radar & as a member of Gary and Crocker's Fairy World invasion team.

- I designed her in December 2015! Nearly 9 years ago now :'D

So, there ya go... That's Hadley.

Basically, instead of meddling and buying buildings and stuff, my vision of the future "rich kids" generation is that they're "supposed" to be in the city like their parents raised them to be, but they blow it off to hang with friends. This whole generation is rebelling against their parents. Are they making things worse for the city? I don't know.

My rough plan was Dale and Hadley bringing their kid [His planned name was Dave] on ski trips and yacht adventures and world travels, with Remy and Juandissimo being bonus parents as the kid grows up :) Aroace Remy making peace with living mostly alone, my beloved... BFF Hadley ensuring he's not ignored when she gets a partner, my beloved... And my main idea here was "Their kid is so spoiled, but he's also getting incredible amounts of attention and love... It's the first time in AGES Dimmsdale has broken its "miserable rich kid" curse, and Remy and Juandissimo couldn't be happier. I just realized that probably doesn't make sense out of context- but yes, in Cloudlands AU, Juandissimo and Remy are still together when Remy's an adult. But it was always my "Eh, I'll think about it later" arc, and Dale a "think about him later" character. And now ?? I just want oodles of him... He's so funny. I've already got a whole sketchpage of him on my desk... I probably won't scan it because it's messy as I'm exploring him in my style, but I really like drawing his hair <3

Dale had a bad week or two with Vicky in my head, but he was gonna grow up fine and live with his friends :) Or... Hadley's friends. Unclear. This doesn't really work with the New Wish canon, but I still think it's funny. I think in some way, this still happened in my canon, but only during Dale's early adulthood. He and Hadley split, orz...

Like... I can't even be mad, because in my canon, they were arranged (upper class kids; Doug cared more than Remy's parents) and in Cloudlands AU, they're affectionate but not in love until they slowly grow on each other while raising their kid, but... GURL, you were supposed to carry this for me, SKDLFJ...

Hang on, I gotta draw exactly what I mean by "Hadley didn't ignore her BFF when she started a romantic relationship..."

Bonus context for Remy's arm for anyone curious & here's him in color

They're just so funny to me... Dale and Hadley are each other's comedic straightman somehow. My favorite thing is Remy being a good friend despite actively trying not to be.

There's a secret joke here about how Remy's dad is also aroace in Cloudlands AU, but his whole thing was being repulsed to the point that he was relieved every time his wife had affairs :'D Fortunately, Remy's glad Hadley found someone else to bother and never got him involved in that drama. Remy still doesn't know what's up with his parents' love life or lack thereof, but... he knows what he himself wants (Peace & quiet and 2 hang out with Juandissimo).

tl;dr - I like what A New Wish has done with Dale specifically. It's definitely wowed me, it's way more captivating than anything I'd loosely planned for him, and his layers of trauma, wealth, and negligence really take me back to the OG series vibes, so I like that!

I can't wait to do 'fics with this fascinating, traumatized loser... but Hadley is definitely his wife and/or ex in my works <3 b/c I set my plot up for this 6 years ago and it would make me sad to "boot" her from my Along the Cherry Lane 'fic plans lmao. I will never experience this oddly specific situation ever again; you gotta give this to me.

Also:

He done goofed...

I couldn't decide on dialogue, but I was thinking "In my defense, I never had a health class and I didn't know babies came that fast." (She was there for many hours btw).

Bonus honeymoon panel ft. (/checks notes) - mildly suggestive stick figures (again)

Other secret bonus ending: "Wait a minute, if Hadley's been to Texas a lot because of Pencil Nexus, does she ALSO have fun cosplaying in boots?"

...... :)

[memyselfandi2008-blog]

Something that’s been on my mind lately is that I’ve noticed whenever some fanfiction authors need a plot device to get Rick and Morty closer (like just in a general sense, not speaking solely from a romantic stand point, because that ship does exist, and I can’t exactly pretend it doesn’t) they tend to make the family way more abusive than usually.

I actually recently found one, if I’m remembering right, when I was looking for some Jerry related fics to read that was about Mort being trans, and the fic included Jerry just… being transphobic? Like… as if that’s not so out of character for him?

Jerry might not fully understand it at first (in a more broad scenes, but some part of me also pictures Jerry just being like “As long as your happy, then that’s good enough,” while also not fully grasping how to make the situation easier or what sort of advice might be good to give), and I can imagine he’d say something unintentionally because he’d be confused, but I very much doubt Jerry is genuinely transphobic.

Like. This is Jerry. He’s a coward, and can be an ass sometimes, but to equate that as him being transphobic in anyway is just, like. No?

I’ve seen it with Beth on occasion too, where, in a fic, Rick and Morty were planning to run away and never come back, and Beth comes in ready to just beat the shit out of Morty or something, and like. Bro. 😭

Look, I’m not saying you can’t have these types of dynamics in the family. Just like. Make it more in character, I guess?

I understand not every universe is going to be the same, and that’s understandable. There’s probably a universe where Jerry is transphobic (I’m wincing as I type that out), and in that case just make it less obvious you’re using it for a plot device, I guess?

I don’t know. It just kinda bugs me how people tend to treat some characters in the show, while they make Rick the most amazing person ever, when he’s literally the worst. That’s not me saying use him as the plot device either. That’s just me finding it a little ridiculous how people go out of their way to make everyone else in the Smith family a villain, while Rick is this messiah of peace and love when that’s also just not the case.

[anjumbai]

Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa - Thoughts

"If all you ever see is reality, you just want to die. The only way to get over barriers, she said, is to live in the spirit of already being over them." "We were born in order to see and listen to the world."

Fuck you to the dude who said I have too much time on my hands to read other books(anything that isn't related to my academics) cause I'm commerce.

Anyways. Sweet Bean Paste is a refreshing tale, a refreshing outlook on life centering our 3 main characters- Sentaro, Wakane and Tokue. The story starts with Sentaro, a hopeless middle aged man working in a dorayaki shop to pay off the debt of his former boss. From the very beginning the reader can perceive that the man has no interest in dorayaki (in case you donno what dat is, its da stuff Doraemon eats), or his life as a matter of fact. He spends his nights away drinking and sometimes turns out to be too hungover to even open his shop. He wanted to be a writer but lost his passion along the way while also spending two years worth of jailtime. However, Sentaro meets Mrs. Tokue one day, or I should say Tokue blesses Sentaro with her mystical passion for sweet bean paste and the story seemingly turns into a tale of reformation of one's life.

The story showed to me a very heartbreaking side of the world. Leprosy- a chronic infectious disease that damages the nerves, skin, eyes and results in a very, very painful life- especially if you were born before the 2000s. Leprosy patients have access to treatment and cure now, but that wasn't always the case. Often a patient diagnosed with leprosy would have to leave his family and society and live the rest of his life locked in a sanitorium. Their family would remove their names from the registry due to the amount of harm it can cause to a family's reputation. Patients weren't allowed to leave the sanitoriums and they'd just be left in a place with no one to call family. Leprosy causes massive physical deformations so I will not ask you to google the images, or maybe do google the images cause leprosy is still prevalent in Bangladesh. Even in a country like Japan, leprosy patients were not allowed to go outside the sanitoriums until 1996, despite being fully cured and healthy. And moreover, the society still doesn't seem to accept them even though Japan has been leprosy free for years now. I'm not aware of the states of my country but it's a rather sad story to listen to.

Tokue used to be a leprosy patient who, turns out, made excellent sweet bean paste. She's been doing it for 50 years in the sanitorium and her passion for sweet bean paste seemed to spark something in Sentaro. The story takes a sweet turn into something beautiful, a man finding the will to live again through sweet bean paste. A passion sparked in him by none other than Tokue, who found it difficult to even be alive not too long ago. And there was Wakane too (her presence seemed confusing to me). I absolutely adored the beautiful dynamic between the 76 year old lady and this young man teaching us silly readers how to live.

I think there's something to find in this book. I did get a little teary by the end of this book and maybe I would've loved to see more from it. It felt a lot like a message more than a story to me, to be honest. There were a lot of amazing ideas and maybe the writer could've executed them better. I still enjoyed this book. It was a quick and short read and my beloved partner through my train journey. 7/10, I like the simple writing style.

[wykart]

I AM LOOKING HARD AT YOUR ZENITH BETA ARTWORK I've always kind of disliked the idea of zenith!Beta because I feel like the strongest and most compelling aspect of Aloy and Beta's sibling relationship was how Aloy is Beta's Rost. She is now the few-worded, directive, somewhat brooding protector to her assigned charge. And despite the debatable blood relations, their family. It's a prefect way to wrap up Aloy's arc and showcase how deeply important they are to each other. They NEED either other. I felt like Zenith!Beta storylines took away from that because if Beta already has the skills to basically overpower the world that Aloy struggled and struggled to conquer. (This option is subjective, people are allowed to like this trope even if I normally don't.)

BUT, BUT--- The premise you have set seems SUPER FUCKING INTERESTING. The hinted at the dynamic between Beta and Tilda. OH MY GOD, and Aloy basically having to slowly "wake" Beta up from that delusion. Oh, baby. I always give extra appreciation to creaters who can take a trope/take/plot that I don't like and make me fall in love. You haven't even written anything yet (or showcased stuff u have written), yet I'm passionate about it all the same. That being said, don't pressure yourself to make this idea of yours a reality just cuz I would love to see it. It is your story and there are many more important things in life than fictional characters (unfortunately). I just wanted to take the time to let you know how much I appreciate your WIPs and works (both art and writing) <3

Hi!! Thanks!! Honestly your problem with zenith!Beta is about the same as mine (not that I’ve read anything that’s out there). She is so essential for Aloy’s development and the story of FW in general. Also I love Beta and this AU is just hey what if everything about her was different? Your point about Aloy being Beta’s Rost is also 👌

That said, this time Aloy’s realisation about not being some sorta spiritual carbon copy of an innately righteous and strong person, and that actually her family and friends and choices made her and she has an identity of her own, comes not from Beta being seemingly ‘weak’ and stuck in hopelessness and dependent on others, but from Beta acting straight up evil. This person is the opposite of everything Aloy believes Elisabet was (and therefore made her). She’s like, how could a clone of Elisabet be so apathetic? she’s so mean 😭. Forces her to look inward in other ways haha.

Then of course it’s not reaalllly like that bc Beta is so completely brainwashed that she just doesn’t get it, and Aloy slowly realises that too. She’s stunted in a very different way to canon Beta, and comes in confusion to concepts like empathy and trust and hope from an antagonistic angle rather than a compassionate one. Which makes her the most annoying person ever to exist. The Tilda relationship is also Worse. As you can imagine.

I’ve written like a tiny tiny opening for this and have some rough notes, but it’d be long :( and I’m like do I realllyyy want to write another long story about a sobeck clone interfacing w zenith tech. And Tilda, can I bear to write more of that asshole? I’m not sure. That said it would be different stylistically bc I want to do first person (idk if you’ve read the Murderbot diaries, but those are the vibes). It’s an opposite character evolution from against the lightning in a way lol. I reckon I still want to write it

Buttt many more important things than fictional characters (unfortunately), as you say. So sad. I had (was forced) to take a few weeks off work a couple months back and spent almost the whole time just writing. I was so pumped about this other story and was like surely I’ll keep this up. Haven’t fuckin looked at it. Work is 😫. And I’m looking for a new job. Ugh. I am a constant knot of anxiety.

Anyway! Thanks so much!! Feel free to dm as well if you want to discuss further haha, I’d love the excuse

[wildfl0wer-meg]

Tonight’s About You, Baby Boy - poly!cashton

i made a similar fic to this a while ago called “Secrets” and it’s poly!cake. I also wrote this months ago and it's just sat in my drafts. Anyway....

warnings: oral (male giving/ male receiving, afab receiving), m/m, m/nb. cursing, semi-public sexual situations, unprotected sex in a relationship, light power dynamics, nicotine use, mentions of smoking weed.

Calum Hood x Ashton Irwin x nb!OC

word count: 2.6k

————

Ashton’s eyes flash over to Calum for what seems like the thousandth time. Calum was lying back on the couch, his bass in hand as he lazily attempts to come up with his part for their newest WIP.

Ashton just couldn’t seem to focus on his work today. He wasn’t sure what it was but Calum was stealing all of his attention.

“Cal,” he calls over finally, his boyfriend looks at him questioningly, as does Luke and Michael. Ashton swallows trying to find what to say. “Uh— do you think you could help me with something real quick?” he asks, mouth going dry, and Calum raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk appearing on his lips.

“Sure,” Calum chuckles and sits up. Everyone looks at Ashton questioningly and he’s quick to figure himself out.

“It’s not related to the song, I just need to figure out what I’m doing for Eve for our anniversary coming up…” he says, “I have a couple ideas but can you help me real quick?”

Calum holds back a laugh, Ashton already had figured out what he was doing for his and Eve’s anniversary, him and Calum had stayed up all night a few weeks ago planning a short trip to the mountains, just the three of them, and they’d even went as far as to plan a fake trip for Calum so it wasn’t suspicious to anyone.

“Yeah but let’s not bother them,” Calum says and stands up, stretching his arms over his head and Ashton’s eyes flash to the section of Calum’s stomach and hip that’s revealed when his shirt rises.

Ashton leads the way out of the studio, Luke and Michael both awkwardly laughing in confusion as the two leave, and as soon as their out Calum turns to his boyfriend, eyes crinkling as he smiles.

“You’re so full of shit, you know that?“ he asks and leads them into the family bathroom, locking the door behind them.

“Im sorry but you just look so good today,” Ashton smirks, his hands gluing themselves to Calum’s arms that are exposed by his ripped muscle tee. Calum bites his lip and leans against the sink as Ashton pushes into him and connects their lips.

Their relationship had been official for almost a year. It started as a hookup, Ashton and his partner Eve had invited Calum over to hang out one night, as they did many times. After one too many drinks and some heavy flirting from the couple who (little to Calum’s knowledge) had discussed a threesome with Calum many times, Calum found himself in their bed, making out with both of them.

It took four more hookups for them to decide that they liked each other more than just friends with benefits and so their relationship began.

Calum’s hands sneak under Ashton’s shirt, holding onto his sides as he deepens the kiss and he lightly grinds up against his boyfriend who pulls away and smirks.

“How long do you think we have before they look for us?” Ashton asks, glancing at the closed door and Calum smiles, slowly sinking to his knees in front of him.

“Long enough for me to blow you,” he says, and Ashton lets out a shaky breath and switches their places so he can grip onto the sink for stability as Calum unzips his pants and pulls him out.

Calum quickly gets to work. His mouth wrapping around Ashton as he bobs his head and sucks lightly. He opens his eyes and looks up at the man who groans when he sees him.

Ashton reaches down to softly run his fingers through Calum’s hair, and when the man on his knees relaxes his throat to get Ashton down as far as he can, Ashton’s grip tightens as he lightly pulls and Calum moans, the vibrations rushing up Ashton.

“Cal–“ he moans, “I’m gonna…” He cuts himself off with a soft groan when Calum speeds up, wrapping his hand around the base of his older man’s cock as he focuses on the tip.

Ashton’s grip tightens once again when he releases, Head falling back and a groan leaving his mouth. Calum swallows his load and sits back his legs to catch his breath. Ashton does the same while leaning against the sink and when he finally recovers he reaches down to fix his boyfriend’s hair and help him up.

“You okay?” he asks, while pulling him in for a hug. Calum nods, leaning his head on Ashton’s shoulder for a moment before pulling away.

Ashton looks between them at Calum cock straining against his jeans and chuckles. “Want me to help?” he asks and Calum shakes his head,

“We need to get back in there,” he says, “Maybe you’ll be able to focus on the song now,” his teasing grin makes Ashton roll his eyes.

“I’ll make it up to you tonight, okay?” he cups Calum’s face and Calum smiles and nods, he knows Ashton means it, and he also knows that means Eve will be there as well.

Ashton goes back first. “Calum stopped at the restroom,” he says and sits back down.

“Did you figure out the present?” Luke asks and Ashton nods,

“Yeah, I think i’m taking them on a trip,” Ashton says, “Now i just need to figure out when,”

Calum walks back in, sending Ashton a teasing grin before he sits down,

“Cal said he’s planning on going on a small trip the week of our anniversary so we might go then so that’s only a week we’re not all together,”

Luke and Michael both nod in agreement and the room goes back to silence, the only noise being their instruments and Luke’s occasional hum.

——

Calum walks into the house first. He rubs his face as he enters, a smile filling his face when Duke runs over to him. “hey bubba,” he smiles and falls to his knees to pet his dog.

Eve hears the door open and hurries down the stairs to find their boyfriends. “hey!” they smile and Calum stands up to catch them in a hug.

“You have a long day today?” Eve asks and Calum nods with a small chuckle.

“Ask our boyfriend what we did today,” he says and as if on cue, Ashton walks in. Eve looks at their other boyfriend who raises an eyebrow,

“What?” he asks, eyes flashing to Calum, and Calum smirks.

“What did you guys do today?” Eve asks, completely lost as their boyfriends exchange a look and the tension in the room builds.

“Ash was being horny all day,” Calum chuckles, “made up an excuse for us to leave the studio so i could blow him,”

Eve laughs, looking at Ashton who just smiles at the acquisition and surrenders his hands in the air.

“I mean look at him,” he motions to Calum, “how am i supposed to focus on my work when this fucking god is sitting next to me,”

Calum blushes, and Eve just giggles. “So did you return the favor, Ash?” they ask and Ashton smirks,

“No, i was wanting some help with that,” he walks past his partners and into the kitchen where he gets a cup of water. Caulk steps back to admire Eve.

They were only wearing one of Calum’s oversized shirts, and he would bet on them not wearing shorts under it, they never were. His hand find their waist and they take a breath.

“You’re gonna be good for me?” he asks but it’s more of a command, Eve nods, eyes wide and innocent. Ashton watches them, and finally speaks up when they just stare at each other for a moment too long.

“What do you want, Cal?” he asks from across the room, and the man swallows as he processes the question in his head. His eyes flash to Ashton as he licks his lips.

“I wanna go to our room,” he says and Ashton nods, motioning for him to go, which he does after grabbing Eve’s hand to drag them along.

Ashton’s always in charge, even if he’s not actively taking part in the moment. Calum doesn’t always admit it, matter of fact it’s one of the biggest things him and Ashton tease each other over, but when it comes down to it, Calum needs Ashton to lead him and Ashton is happy to do it.

Ashton follows them upstairs and smiles when he sees Calum with Eve pinned under him. His lips are on their neck and their eyes are closed as Calum leaves a few marks.

Ashton watches them as he sheds his shirt and climbs onto the bed. He sits up on his knees and lets his hand wander under Calum’s shirt. he gently scrapes his nails on the man’s hot skin and Calum slowly sits up, letting Ashton take off his shirt before connecting their lips.

Eve opens their eyes to watch their boyfriends slowly make out. Ashton’s hand goes down Calum’s pants and gropes him, making the younger man moan into his mouth.

“Tonight’s all about you, baby boy,” Ashton says as he pulls away. Calum would normally pretend to hate the pet name, but he doesn’t fight it as he turns back to Eve and tug at their shirt before helping them sit up and take it off.

His eyes fall to look at the skinny silver bars going through their nipples, he bites his lips, that’s one thing he’ll never get tired of seeing.

His hands slowly trail down their body until they reach the band of their panties and he slowly takes them off, sliding them down their legs before getting between them. He smirks up at them after kissing their thighs, lips ghosting over where they need him the most.

Calum’s knows he’s good with his mouth. No matter what he knows that he can never let anyone down with head, and it’s just a bonus that he enjoys it.

Ashton sits back to watch as Calum dives in. Eve’s head rolls back and they moan out, hand shooting to the man’s hair.

After a moment they open their eyes and they make contact with Ashton who palms himself through his pants. “Tell Calum that he’s making you feel good,” Ashton demands, and Calum looks up at Eve as he slows.

“Fuck Cal,” Eve moans, “You feel so good, i’m gonna cum,”

Calum smirks as pulls up for just long enough to mumble, “want you to come on my tongue,” and he goes back in.

It’s not long before they are. They let out a loud moan of Calum’s name as they cum, eyes squeezing shut and toes curling. Calum continues to eat them out, waiting until they’re flinching at his touch before pulling away.

He sits up, out of breath and Ashton connects their lips again. He moans at the taste of Eve in Calum’s lips and reaches down to slowly stroke Calum.

“How do you want to get off?” he asks, and Calum glances at Eve.

“Can you handle me fucking you, baby?” he asks, and Eve nods quickly, eyes desperate.

“Please,” they beg and Calum turns to Ashton.

“Can i help you out?” he asks and Ashton rolls his eyes,

“Stop worrying about me,” he chuckles, “i what to see you cum in them,”

Ashton doesn’t have to ask twice and Calum is stripping off his pants and lining himself up with Eve, slowly pushing in.

Ashton takes off his own pants before stroking himself. He paces himself at Calum’s speed as he watches.

Calum moans when Eve tightens around him as he bottoms out. He leans forward, keeping himself propped up with his hands on either side of his partner. He connects their lips, taking advantage of their moans to explore they’re mouth. He doesn’t take long to feel his climax nearing and he quickens his pace.

“–gonna,” he’s cut off by his own pants and soon his releasing into Eve. He rests his head on their chest as he stills, breaths heavy as he recovers for a moment before pulling out.

Calum falls to the side just in time to watch Ashton cum into his hand and he smiles goofily.

Eve rolls over to cuddle into their boyfriend and Calum happily pulls them into his chest. Ashton goes into the connected bathroom and come back with a couple wash cloths for them to clean up.

“I need a smoke,” Calum mumbles to his partners after he’s cleaned up and puts on a pair of pajama pants,

He reaches into his jeans from earlier to pull out his pack of cigarettes and lighter. Ashton kisses his forehead as he passes by. “I can start on dinner,” he says and Eve lies in bed watching them.

“I’ll find a movie?” they suggest and Calum smirks,

“Pack a blunt for us?” he asks and they happily nod watching as their boyfriends leave the room.

Calum walks outside to the front porch and sits on the steps before lighting the smoke. He breathes in the nicotine and closes his eyes to enjoy the burn in his lungs.

“Calum?” the voice snaps him out of his head and he opens his eyes to see Michael. The blond haired man looks at him confused.

“Why’re you here?” he asks and Calum stutters,

“Uh– I’m just– Um Ash invited me over to go over a few other things,” he curses himself for the poor excuse as he stares at his friend. He takes a moment to look down at himself. His shirtless chest, and baggy pajamas pants, it’s obvious he’s not just hanging out.

Michael just stares at him, “What?” he asks as if he didn’t hear what he said and the front door opens, Ashton walking out looking in the same condition as Calum.

“Babe–“ Ashton starts but he freezes when he sees Michael and his heart drops.

His eyes flash to his boyfriend who looks like he’s about to cry as his cigarette burns out in his hand.

“What is happening?” Michael asks and Ashton sighs, opening the door wider,

“Just come in,” he says, defeated and Calum stands up as well, putting out his cigarette he barely smoke to follow them inside.

Eve is on the couch, a mango zipzag in hand doing as they were told. Their eyes go wide when they see Michael and quickly grabs the blanket on the back on the couch to make sure they’re covered since they’re only wearing Ashton’s shirt he had on earlier.

“You guys are having a smoke session together?” Michael asks confused and Calum bites his lips trying to figure out if they should lie or not as he glances over at Ashton,

“Maybe we should call Luke?” Ashton suggest and Michael nods his head slowly as he tries to connect the dots.

——

“A year!?” Luke shouts and Calum chuckles awkwardly, “You’ve hid this for a year? Did you think we’d be mad?”

“We didn’t want you to think it’d affect the band,” Ashton tries to explain. Michael’s eyes bounce between the three of them before he shakes his head,

“How did you manage to keep it secret?” he asks finally,

“Lots of make out sessions in bathrooms,” Calum says and Ashton elbows him as the younger man laughs.

Michael raises an eyebrow, “So today….” he trails off and Ashton nods,

“Yeah…” he chuckles awkwardly.

“I wish you would of told us!” Luke sighs, “We’ve been teasing Calum for months when he shows up late with new hickies and sex hair, we would’ve made fun of you too if we knew you were part of that,”

Ashton rolls his eyes and glances at his boyfriend. Michael shakes his head in disbelief. “I’m happy for you,” he finally says and Luke nods in agreement.

They share a laugh before silence falls between them so they can take in the information.

“Wait,” Luke says, “Wildflower about this fucker?” he motions to Ashton and Calum’s cheeks turn red as he looks away.

“Oh my god!” Michael yells and they laugh harder as they continue to connect the dots for their relationship and how they’ve hid it for a year.

————

A/N:

hi, i’m back

i’ve fell back into my 5sos phase for the 5835295th time

anyways send me requests and maybe i’ll get around to them sometime :)

[kueruzu]

You like talking about AUs right? Would you perhaps be interested in talking about an AU in which Asura never became the kishin (or some other circumstance where he'd be around) and Kid got to grow up with a big brother? (This is of course with the idea that he doesn't become evil or anything)

For some reason I'm kind of obsessed with the idea of big brother Asura, I feel like the two of them would have a neat dynamic. Like, they both deal with similar issues (Asura's fear and Kid's order/symmetry) that I think they could relate on and it makes me wonder how they'd deal with each other if they were close.

Anyways speaking of AUs I also wanted to ask what your favorite AU idea is :) Love your blog btw

DON’T GET ME STARTED— FLUFFY BULLSHIZ IS MY FECKIN FAVORITE!

Asura & Death The Kid sibling headcanons:

Asura is born in a different way so he’ll never become a full shinigami technically. He has almost the same power as a full Shinigami but Lord Death didn’t die!

So he lives with Lord Death throughout the years and helps him run stuff. Eventually Lord Death thinks he should pass on his title properly and while he would love to give it to Asura, he can’t really do that if he’ll never be a proper shinigami.

He talks about it with Asura and he takes it surprisingly well and eventually Death the Kid comes to the scene and Asura is e c s t a t i c to have a younger sibling to teach and help.

When Kid is young, Asura stays with him at the mansion. Shinigami develop way quicker along with their abilities so by age 3 he’s super ahead most kids his age.

Asura keeps him from death and all that funky stuff as a toddler. They tend to have conversations that are the cutest.

“Why are you so tall?” “I’m older.” “Older? How can I be older?” “You can’t be older?” “Father says to never say can’t.” “K-Kid I can’t explain this well…”

When he starts school, Asura takes him to school. He walks him, makes his lunch, etc.

When Death gets too busy and Kid is older, Asura takes Kid out to have sibling outings. They go to the park and mess around on the jungle gym, Asura gently flicks him in the back of the head while calling him, “half-head” when passing by, he picks him up and makes fun of him in front of his friend, messes up his hair just to fuck with him, etc.

When Liz and Patty come into the picture and Kid doesn’t depend on him as much, Asura feels a bit deserted.

But the first time Kid has a whole panic and Liz nor Patty can’t help, Asura calms him down and his faith is restored in himself. He teaches Liz & Patty how to help more and they all become like a little family/found family.

When friends come over, Asura is a d i c k. He bullies Kid jokingly and pokes fun at his friends.

Asura is off-put by Maka and her chops that resemble his fathers.

Asura gets a long with Soul extremely well.

BlackStar confuses Asura by merely existing.

Tsubaki is the only one Asura has literally no preference of. Not because he can’t read her, but because he can read her personality too well and he doesn’t know what to do with it.

I may add more— But— That’s what I can think of for now—

AND ABOUT AUUUUUUU’SSSSSSS— I’m glad you asked.

I make AU’s— I love my AU’s— I have this au where Maka ends up betraying the DWMA and a bunch of bs happens but I have no discernible plot for it.

BUT MY FAVORITE IS MY MUSIC AU— I HAVE SO MUCH PLANNED BUT NO MOTIVATION TO WRITE FULL FICS— Like, it’s a modern au in a DWMA music school with the main cast as performing arts students.

Please, I am begging, give me motivation to write stuff for it. Or even ask for headcanons— I can even give a list of my random af aus—

[tomatograter]

What are your Thots on jake’s pq route?

I already wrote some about it in this post where I discuss the problem with taking dirkjake as a literal parallel to tavris (Mainly, that it’s inaccurate to both situations and misrepresents the dynamics at play) but it’s been long enough since release that I feel like I can talk about it without that criticism being taken as a personal witch hunt. TL;DR: As a general rule of thumb I don’t cite Jake’s PQ as part of his characterization, and I think basing your Jakewriting on it will only lead you astray.

I liked a lot of the Pesterquest routes and the alphas were among some of my favorites, but I think when you play the four of them in sequence Jake’s really... stands as the odd one out. It’s almost as if he’s afforded way less sympathy from the get go for some indiscernible reason, or like MSPAR took a day to say ‘I can’t stand this kid in particular’ after dealing with waaaaaaaay more mindboggling troll customs or stupid dangerous situations that tested their patience and their limits. When it comes down to it, it’s mostly an issue of framing.

Let’s go with the “Just the Alpha routes” example, because I think that makes the overall context clearer and the response/reactions it gathered (or the lack thereof) easier to understand. The alpha kids were the last 4 Pesterquest episodes. They were also afforded entire volumes just for themselves, which cemented our expectations on “oh, they’re going to really dig into unexplored territory!” and for the most part, that’s what we got! It was really nice to see the internal mechanics of Jane as someone raised within a corporate echochamber, Roxy as a grieving, isolated kid, deprived of all human contact, and Dirk as a nerdy doomsday prepper haunted by private flashes of himself as a supervillain. It all works! Those are things the alpha kids were dealing with on the background of the broader Homestuck story, things we were only hinted at as the *larger* problems played out. It makes you understand their point of view. Except on Jake's route, where nothing about his life seems to be relevant at all? 

With Jane we get discussions about HIC and her family, with Roxy beautiful passages about a mother they never met and growing up alone— Same for Dirk, who gets a whole brother zapped from an alternate timeline. But on Jake's route there's not even an expansive dialogue path dedicated to Grandma English, Skaianet, the rebellion, or the giant red ship that came and murdered her in the night and then bombed his house, leaving him trapped inside his only surviving tower. No understanding passage realizing that this kid has had to fend for himself in an island full of Actual Giant Alien Monsters trying to eat him alive, or that he cremated his guardian specifically to avoid attracting predators to the scent of fresh blood drying on her mutilated corpse at the age of an actual toddler. The text refuses to dig into any of the psychological implications or impact an environment like this could have on a kid, which is even weirder when you consider MSPAR has met and helped Vriska get out of a similar situation. The whole thing with Jane in the previous volume has just happened, even, while Jake's particularities go unremarked. He was just supposed to deal with it. And that's because a choice was made to portray all of Jake's problems in this route as sort of... single handedly Dirk's fault? Something he should have Just Dealt with?

There's not even a hint that Jake knows Hal exists. Which is important! Jake can pick out Hal from Dirk based on *verbal cues*, and the fact that he considers Hal a barrier between him and his "real friend" getting to communicate with one another is a whole point of contention (and even comedy) in the story proper. Instead of examining Jake's isolation, or grief, or how he literally locks himself in his room and plasters it with cinematic posters to pretend he's just the main lead of a wacky adventure movie in the face of the immense shitshow outside, we get brobot acting nonsensically and threatening to break into Jake's room to beat him up. 

A general reminder on brobot: He was programmed to scout the jungle and deal with predators so Jake could a) Be allowed to safely leave his room (something he simply didn't do before age 13 out of sheer terror, and we know this because dirk and jake talk about it on his birthday conversation, when he first gets brobot) and 

b) Learn how to defend himself in the case of a surprise attack, with different combat settings adjusted to his level. The brobot has a novice mode Jake feels patronized by, but pushes him up levels quickly enough. In Homestuck proper, the brobot only enters "stalking mode" after Hal gets pissy with Jake for finding him out, and forcefully switches the setting on to make Jake work for the Uranium inside it. When you take Hal out of the picture, this plotline makes no sense! Jake's route is set way before the Alphas even think of entering the game, so this particular event hasn't even happened. Jake goes on to text Roxy and she turns the stalking setting off remotely anyways, so even if brobot was programmed to murder Jake in his sleep, or jump him inside the safe zone of his room (he's not) he has literally no reason to be acting like that when he's been set to Baby Buff Up Mode.

(Brobot does end up spontaneously pulling himself apart to give Jake his reward after this)

Which brings me to my other problem with the general framing of this volume; the alpha kids don't feel present in Jake's life as friends at all. It's all "romantic options" and "shipping discourse" and MSPAR making these silly logic jumps to justify insisting on this line of query, and all it does is completely flatten out anything of interest having to do with Jake as a Person, to build up an image of Dirk as being suspicious and shady for his volume and more or less come to the conclusion that Jake sucks because he just Cant Choose Who To Date Between All His Friends! And that's why jake is just like tavros… and dirk is just like vriska! Or something. 

And just as a reminder, here's Jake talking with Roxy so I don't have to explain why that feels like a weird choice to me. (click to zoom)

And then there's the endings. On the vriska ending, MSPAR just ends up weirdly angry at jake for being such a piss baby and not getting that he's tavros and dirk is vriska so he had to… uh… take all his anger out on this 13 year old alien girl he has never met and teach her a lesson to prepare to do the same on dirk, or something. And on the other ending Jake mentions his pen pal, is zapped to meet jade, they have some non-committal greetings and then a cosplay party where Jake insists that he totally likes Lara croft not because she's a femme fatale and he relates to that, because he's never ever in his life thought of anyone being interested on him. Or Something. He likes Lara croft for normal reasons only. He wears really tiny shorts and does sexy poses because he's not aware at all of how other people find him attractive. He's just too dumb to get this, or the shipping thing, or that he's tavros and Dirk is vriska (who the hell are these people?).

Jake feels like an afterthought in the grand scope of events. Sidelined on his own episode. This volume is busy with rehashing age old fandom arguments that have little to do with his character, because said arguments were started and maintained by bored teens engrossed on fighting online instead of analyzing Homestuck; we introduce vriska for no interesting reason at all (thank god at least Jake has enough decency to say he's not into hitting on 13-year-olds, because that would have been particularly rancid.) And aside from catchphrases and old slang sprinkled liberally into his dialogue like a fog making machine, none of the motivation for the character is there. What does he want? What does he fear? Why does he act like the way he does? What would accommodating him look like? What would helping him look like? We get this on Jane's volume, Roxy's volume, and Dirk's volume. To really heart-wrenching and dramatic results, too. You get to know who they are, where they live, what they want, what they fear, what might help them get better, but Jake is just sort of There. He's a burden. MSPAR either ends this volume berating him for not doing what they want or finding him weird and confusing and like they don't know each other at all, and the fact both of those were marked as dubiously bad ends in the game files speaks for itself, I think.

[chudleycanonficfest]

One Last Dance

Day 4, Story #1 is by @be11atrixthestrange

Title: One Last Dance Author/Artist: be11atrixthestrange Pairing: Jily  Prompt: Halloween Rating: T Trigger Warning(s) (if any): implied character death

----------

Harry was fussier than usual on Halloween night. Bath time was an ordeal, as Harry kept knocking the shampoo bottle out of Lily’s hand and splashing water at her. Afterward, the child almost refused to fall asleep; he wriggled in her arms and tugged on her hair as she swaddled him. Just because he couldn’t speak full sentences yet didn’t mean he couldn’t communicate; he did so with his eyes, and Lily swore there was a smirk on his face as she rocked and sang to him, until he finally drifted off.

Lily didn’t mind a fussy baby, in fact, she enjoyed the challenge. She cherished every extra moment with her child, and at exactly fifteen months, Harry’s newfound spunk was nothing but evidence of his emerging personality. He had her eyes, and she wondered if he’d get James’ messy hair, horrid eyesight, and infuriating charm. She grinned at the thought of a sassy and sarcastic Harry, star of the quidditch team, just like his dad. Or maybe he’d be more like Lily; sensitive and studious, top of his class, future Head Boy. 

Of course, there could be nothing remarkable about him at all. He could turn out to be average, maybe even terrible at sports, or join weird clubs and get below-average marks. Even then, if her son came home for the summer excited about a slew of ‘acceptables’, or stressed about Gobstones club drama, he’d still be the coolest person Lily knew. 

Whatever he turned out to be — head boy, quidditch captain, super-nerd, or even squib — Lily couldn’t wait to find out. It was funny how determined she had been to never admit her feelings for James Potter. Her feelings were always there, but that boy had to work hard for her affection. All Harry had to do was laugh, or sneeze, or wrap his tiny fingers around her pinky, and Lily was a goner.

With the stubborn child finally asleep, Lily shuffled downstairs to find that James had already cleaned up dinner in the kitchen and was pouring two generous glasses of wine, almost as if he read her mind. 

He beamed when he saw her — one of her favorite things about him was that he made no effort to hide his feelings, ever — and slid the glass across the countertop. 

“What’s the occasion?” she asked, raising the glass to her lips. It was bitter to the taste but relented into a friendlier, fruitier flavor once Lily committed to a sip. 

She never knew she could relate so much to a glass of wine. 

“Halloween,” said James. “I know you love it, and I’m sorry we couldn’t celebrate the muggle way.”

Halloween was always Lily’s favorite holiday growing up. There was something comforting about everyone’s sudden suspension of disbelief and willingness to face what scared them. She wished muggles would have embraced the paranormal every day, it surely would have made her life easier.

“It’s okay,” she said. “It has to be this way.” 

Lily wished they could hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, but the neighborhood muggles couldn’t see their home; not while it was under the Fidelius Charm. Staying hidden wasn’t what she had imagined when moving to a mixed-magical community, but for now, it was the safest option. The only option. 

James met her on the other side of the kitchen island, interrupting her thoughts with two fingers under her chin. “Definitely next year,” he said before tilting her head up for a kiss. 

Her eyes fluttered shut, and she smiled against his lips, wondering if Harry’s ability to make her heart explode was just as hereditary as his bright green eyes. There was something about those Potter boys that knocked her off her feet.

Maybe James was right, and next year, things would be different. They could get to know their non-magical neighbors, and Lily could take Harry trick-or-treating. He’d look so cute dressed up as a hippogriff, and no one would bat an eye when he’d insist it was a real animal. Kids say the darndest things, and on Halloween, anything was possible. 

“Next year, for sure.” Lily took another swig of her wine and relished in the evolution of its flavor, a delicious reminder that things change, sometimes so fast that she might blink and miss it. Things weren’t perfect by any means — they were in the middle of a war, after all — but there was no shortage of good in their lives. Not everyone could say they had a happy family, loyal friends, and really good wine. 

“Dance with me?” asked James, setting his wine down next to hers and tugging gently on her arm. 

It didn’t take much to lure her into the open space of the living room and settle into the crook of his neck. There was no music, but that didn’t matter; if there had been a beat, they would probably have ignored it anyway. 

“Do you remember the first time we ever danced?”

She nodded against his shoulder. Of course she remembered.

It was Halloween, sixth year, and James and Lily had been alone in the common room. 

“Happy Halloween, Lily,” said James as he approached her. “Today, you’re not a freak.”

Out of context, it might have sounded like senseless teasing, but it was so much more than that. She stared back at him, mouth agape, and wasn’t sure how to respond. It had been years — years — since they had talked about Halloween, and somehow he remembered a passing comment from her eleven-year-old self. 

“You remember that?” she asked, looking at him through narrowed eyes. 

It was her answer to an ice-breaker game during their first year — ‘what’s your favorite holiday and why?’ She hadn’t expected the confused stares at her response. In the muggle world, Halloween was the only day when she didn’t feel weird. Now, Halloween, and the fact that it meant something different to her than to everyone else, meant it was the only day when she did. 

However, she’d happily settle for one single day of being a freak; it was much better than three hundred and sixty-four.

“Of course I remember,” said James, smiling at her. His grin was electric, almost zapping through his messy black hair. Then, he reached out a questioning hand and raised his eyebrows. She stared back at him, wishing he would just use his words, yet she was impressed that with her, he didn’t need to. James always wore his thoughts on his face, in plain sight for the world to see, and never seemed to feel any shame or embarrassment for expressing them.

It touched a nerve for Lily, who had spent most of her life hiding. She longed for him to have to explain himself for once, to actually verbalize his thoughts instead of coasting by in his utopia where people just understood him. It wasn’t fair. “What are you asking, James?” 

“Dance with me?” he clarified. His voice was annoyingly calm and collected as if he knew she had been expecting him to elaborate, yet aware that he didn’t have to. He didn’t even flinch at her incredulous stare, confident in his request, as if asking her to dance was the most obvious progression to wishing her a happy Halloween. 

“Why?” She steadied her hands firmly by her sides, hoping James didn't see her fingers twitch toward his.

“To celebrate Halloween, of course.” His cheeks were rosy, his eyes sparkling, and his continued lack of reaction was curious. Despite her rejection, he committed to holding out his hand with confidence. 

“People don’t dance on Halloween.”

“I’m people, and I dance on Halloween,” laughed James.

She looked at his hand and considered it. Despite a few accidental brushes of her hand while taking notes or passing in the hallway, she had never actually touched him. And Lily had always been the curious type.

James followed her gaze to his hand and playfully wiggled his fingers. 

“Okay,” she said, placing her hand in his. His touch was gentle, firm, confident. It felt nice. “But there’s no music.”

“We don’t need any,” he said, pulling on her arm so that her body pressed up against his. It might have been too forward if she hadn’t fit so perfectly, but honestly, standing any further from him would have felt like sitting upright in a reclining chair. “If there was music, I’d probably ignore the beat, anyway.”

“You would?”  His soft voice immediately put her at ease in his arms, even though her palms were sweating and her heart was picking up its pace. “Why?”

“I’m too distracted,” he said. “Wasn’t expecting you to say yes.”

Lily laughed. “Then why’d you risk asking?”

“Anything is possible on Halloween, right?”

His arms tightened around her just then, not in a forceful way, just comfortable and supportive. She let herself get lost in the moment, swaying with James by the crackling fire, actually smelling, not imagining, his cologne, and feeling the prickle of his stubble against her forehead — when did that grow in? 

Maybe the next day, they’d go back to their usual dynamic, somewhere between flirting and arguing, annoyance and admiration. Or maybe, this would change things. There was something about the Potter boy and his messy black hair, unruly and uncaring, his glasses that should have made him look like a nerd but didn’t, and his annoying charisma that had an effect on her. It wasn’t a secret; they were both aware of it, yet neither felt the need to acknowledge it. At least not yet. They were so young, and they had so much time. 

“Was that when it all changed for you?” asked James, pulling her back to the present. “Is that when you finally gave in to my charm?”

Lily smiled at her husband. “Nothing changed that day. Nothing ever changed.”

James smiled, and Lily leaned into the sharpness of his stubble, a few lazy days unshaven. She melted against him and held him tight. Although his belly was softer, his voice was deeper, the circles under his eyes were darker, reflecting fifteen months of erratic sleep schedules, nothing about him had changed. 

The moment was broken by the sobering sound of a baby crying. Both Lily and James groaned as they pulled away from one another and swiftly turned their focus to their child. 

“I’ll put him back to bed,” said Lily.

“I can do it,” interrupted James. “You bathed him.”

Lily thought of the miniature James crying in his crib, and her heart clenched. It had only been minutes since she last snuggled him, and she already missed the child. “I really want to,” she said. 

James nodded, but his gaze was not on Lily. “Okay. I will meet you upstairs, then. I want to check the wards — I thought I saw some movement outside.”

Lily squinted at the window, her heart rate rising.

“It’s probably nothing,” said James.

Reaching for her half-full glass of wine, Lily nodded. “Alright, I’ll meet you upstairs. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

With one last glance at her husband, Lily made her way up the stairs toward Harry.

Harry, the child who always scrunched up his face when he slept, pursing his lips and crinkling his nose like he just ate a lemon. The boy with her eyes and James’ smile, who was already the best kid ever, even though his personality had yet to be determined. The kid who had a temper, but always calmed down the moment his mother wrapped her arms around him, the stubborn, determined one who could melt Lily’s heart with a single look. 

Her son, Harry, who she couldn’t wait to watch grow up, yet she hoped would never change.

[sagemusesoutloud]

Anti-Romantic, Part 1

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff WordCount | 3.6 K Author'sNote | lmaoooo the fact that I intended this to be a oneshot type of thing oops. Wellllll, I tried. Most likely to be a two part series, but we'll see.

This is part of a series I intend to call "If Songs were Fics" and this particular one was loosely inspired by TXT's Anti-Romantic bc I'm obsessed. I hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writing it!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I don't know who loves me

And I don't care, It's a waste anyways

A romantic feeling, Kinda scares me

“Any plans for you birthday next week?”

Jaehyun shakes his head at you, “no, not yet, don’t you have that date with that barista?”

“I’m not sure, he’s been acting weird over text lately. Might not be worth it,” you shrug your shoulders. “Besides, it’s your birthday! You only get one of those a year, we should plan something.”

You were on your way to the gym, a ritual you and Jaehyun had ever since you both found out you worked for the same company. You had been childhood friends, but ended up losing touch since you went to separate universities.

It was a nice surprise to see a friendly face on the first day of orientation and throughout the duration of your training for the next six weeks. Although you were both from different departments, you enjoyed taking your lunch breaks together and sharing small gossip about your old class-mates.

“ugh, don’t remind me,” he let’s out a long sigh, “every year, it seems like my family won’t stop pestering me about starting a family.”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Nothing, just not for me. Or at least not yet. I don’t think I’m the type to settle down,” he shrugs again as if it were no big deal.

You gasp, “how could you say that? I’ve seen your insta account. It’s got your cousin’s kids all over it!” You stop to take a good look at him as he holds the door of the gym open for you. “Back in school too, you used to tutor those elementary kids for volunteering hours. Even when you didn’t need them. You’ve always liked kids.”

“That’s different…”

“Right. Totally different things. Got it,” you roll your eyes. This wasn’t the first time he mentioned not wanting to settle down. At first, you had thought it was because he liked ‘keeping his options open’ like back in high-school. Or, not that you knew for sure, but if the rumors were true then it meant he slept his way around. Apparently, he never slept with someone twice and despite the cold shoulder the other party would get, all you had ever heard were praises. Not that you paid that much attention or anything.

You and Jaehyun had the same circle of friends, but despite that, he had never made any advances towards you. You’d be lying if that didn’t bother you at least once or twice. You just assumed that he didn’t want to make the friendship awkward or mess with the friend dynamics of your group. Which was why your crush on him in junior high ended as soon as you got to high-school.

You ended up going on dates with other people, but nothing that kept your interest. Nothing that compared to how you felt around him. Not that he seemed to think the same, so you tried your best to stay the good friend you always have been. You didn’t want to push something he clearly didn’t want; not that it didn’t hurt any less. Throughout the years it’s become bearable, at least. Almost like a painful habit.

You check in and head to the locker rooms to change. His nonchalance about the subject had always puzzled you. You’d seen first hand how all the female coworkers seemed to sway their hips as they walked by him, how some would pop a blouse button more than usual when around him, and you swore no one else was getting that much help throughout training more than him. He was handsome and a gentleman, that much was painfully obvious.

You meet him outside by the water fountain, “ready for warm-up?” he guides your way to the treadmills.

“When’s the last time you dated?”

You would have laughed if you weren’t so shocked to see him trip from the corner of your eye. “why the sudden curiosity?” He finally responds.

“Not sudden, I’d always wondered.” You defended. “You’re good looking and you’re very…I mean, you live on your own and have your own car. You have good relations with your family AND you’re good with kids. So, what is it?” You hadn’t realized how troubling you thought it all was. But now that you started digging you couldn’t stop.

“I just—” you pause, “it doesn’t make sense.”

You hear him chuckle, “you might wanna slow down before you pull something.” You look down and realize that your pace had gone from a relaxed jog to a borderline run during your rant. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to psychoanalyze your only friend in the city.

“Well, I just don’t know how to let people in. It’s just that.” He finally responds. “I love kids, but I don’t know or think I’d be a good partner.” He slows down before stopping, ending the conversation. He waves you off with an easy smile as you stay running.

Huh, maybe you pushed him too far. Your eyes can’t help but follow him around the gym.

Sweet and bitter chocolate, The taste at the end is always the same

Like the saddest movies, Only tears in my eyes

Your hands were sweaty the entire morning, anticipating your lunch time. It was his birthday today, and while you hadn’t made any concrete plans you ended up agreeing to go over to his place after work. Your gym bag was ready with snacks and comfy clothes to stay over. You remembered him saying he was excited to watch that new Marvel movie that had recently come out so you had bought it online to stream it at his place as a surprise. But what had you nervous was the small heart shaped box sitting in your purse. You didn’t know what possessed you to buy it but you had immediately thought of Jae when you passed by it at the mall. You remember vaguely mentioning that it was a special occasion to the sales lady (as in, his birthday), but she must have thought it was your significant other rather than friend because she changed the box to the red velvet shaped one while giving you a wink. In her defense, you could have protested but…why didn’t you?

You hear a knock on your door, “hey little miss sunshine.” Ah, Nakamoto, this couldn’t be good news. He was only sickly sweet to you when he needed a favor.

“What do you want?” you deadpan. He only laughs as he makes himself comfortable in your office. “Well, nothing in particular. Can’t stop by and see how you’re doing?” he feigns hurt.

“Right—the last time you ‘came by’ you left me working over-time through the weekend,” You sigh, “so what is it this time? Missed meeting? Late proposal?” To be fair, your supervisor WAS overworked sometimes. And since you were the only worker under him, it was normal for him to sometimes share some of the load with you.

He smiles at you, “nope. Just have a proposal for you. I know you’ve been working hard these past few months and I’ve been really impressed by your work ethic.” He stands and moves closer to your desk, “And I thought some sort of reward was in order, as well as celebration.” Ok, now you’re confused. You were ok with the reward part, it usually came in the form of a gift card to your favorite coffee shop, but celebration?

“Why would we celebrate? Did I miss something?”

“Not yet, but I did recommend you to the partner position with me. And I wanted to be the first to tell you that the boss approved it earlier today. So, what do ya say? Dinner on me?” he extends his hand out to you and wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

Oh.

Shit! You were hoping this would happen eventually, moving up from the entry-level position you had. But you had never thought it would be this fast. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You give him your hand and he shakes it in mock salute.

“Of course, some people will come by to move your computer to the office next to mine. You start Monday!” he winks, “So, wanna go to that new rooftop restaurant? This is a once in a life-time ticket, so you best say yes.”

But your dinner with Jae…He’ll understand, right? He has to. It’s not like he seemed that excited about it anyway. And you could always spend the day together tomorrow, too. It would be pretty rude to turn down Yuta after he pulled some strings for you…

You smile at him, “Thank you Mr. Nakamoto, I won’t let you down as a partner. Yeah, dinner sounds great. Wanna meet there?”

You sit down on the small table, now nervous for other reasons.

Jae sits opposite of you, a small smile on his face. “Hey you,” he greets.

“hey…” you start, “I hate to change plans so suddenly, but…” crap, you feel really shitty. But you really were between a rock and a hard place.

“everything ok?”

“yeah, no. I actually just got promoted,” you start.

“You did? That’s awesome! So fast, too. Wow—but shouldn’t you be more enthusiastic about it?” he chuckles.

“I am, just—my old supervisor wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. And I don’t think I could say no after helping me out like that.”

“I mean, did you want to skip it or?” Now he’s confused.

“Well, he wanted to go out tonight since I start Monday and today’s Friday…I don’t think I can come over tonight,” you explain.

Realization crosses his features before he gives a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, you’re fine. And he’s treating you! You don’t know when the next time he offers might be,” he continues, “we can celebrate another day anyway.”

“Are you sure?” now you feel like shit.

“Of course I’m sure.”

For the rest of the lunch, a thick silence settles before he excuses himself back to work.

Jaehyun knew this was coming. Nothing ever went his way; it’s why he kept everyone at a distance from his heart. But he was weak when it came to you. This game of push and pull was bound to keep happening, and it only brought him that all familiar foul taste in his mouth.

I know, that sweet love song, Those words of promise

When you turn around, It's just an unfamiliar someone

It was why he decided to go else-where for university, instead of joining you and some of your friends to the one closest to home. He chose to go across the globe—far, far away from the curse of you.

It had started on a windy day, back when you were 4 and new to the town he grew up in. Jaehyun didn’t want to leave his mother’s arms, he didn’t like the thought of being with strangers until later in the day even if his mom promised that she would be back. A little girl with jean overalls like his came up to him and his mom, “why are you crying?”

“I am not!” he sniffed. He didn’t need to make new friends like his mom was trying to tell him. All he needed was to go back home. You took out something from your pocket and showed it to him, “look, my mom said I could give one to my first friend. She said it was sharing. Want one?”

In her little palm, were two kiss chocolates. “You’re not my friend,” he grumbled, “I don’t know your name.” At that, you giggled, “I’m Y/N!” you took his hand and placed a chocolate there, “there, now we’re officially friends.”

“See, Jae? You can spend some time with Y/N and have fun. Before you know it, I’ll be back,” she promised.

“Yeah, Jae! Come play blocks with me, and then we can try the coloring.” You held his hand as you led him deeper into the classroom. Just like that, Jae began to feel a little warmth in his chest. He didn’t mind that his favorite thing to do was play tag outside or that he wasn’t really good at coloring inside lines yet. But that didn’t matter to him. As long as he had this one friend around, he was content.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I want to run far away

My heart that already chases after you, Blazes up as a small flame

Looking back at it now, it was a little funny. All it took to let you in back then was a simple chocolate kiss and your little sticky hand in his leading the way. You were always larger than life to him, sometimes he forgot that you were just as human as him.

As you two continued to grow, nothing seemed to change your friendship. But he knew that the depth of his feelings wasn’t mutual. It was in the way that you brought a lot different people together and decided to call it your family. Another of your friends, Jungwoo, liked to joke that you collected introverts for fun. To Jaehyun, it was more likely that you just didn’t see the fun in leaving people out. You were charming and passionate. Traits he wished he had. Your empathetic nature and gentle disposition were all that Jaehyun needed, even if he wasn’t the only recipient.

Once you guys started to hit puberty, things started to feel rocky. Jaehyun couldn’t help but physically distance himself from you, his ears were always red-hot. You had always been pretty to Jaehyun, but you were starting to become really beautiful. And if the boy’s locker rooms’ talk were anything to go by, then other people were definitely starting to realize “what a great catch” you were.

It really pissed him off. Who were they to say things as if all you were was a piece of meat? It disgusted him. But what disgusted him more was the fact that sometimes, he couldn’t help but also feel the way your body felt in his when you hugged in greeting. He hated the way his body reacted to everything you did.

He first messed around with a senior girl back when he was a sophomore, Sooyoung. She was leaving and he couldn’t take it anymore. Your boyfriend was a piece of trash and he was tired of hearing the way he would share what Jae considered to be intimate moments that had no business being public. But you seemed so happy… that next game, Jae stole the ball from him and scored on his own. Even if it cost him a three hour lecture from the coach, he would do it again. Fuck being a team, that guy was an asshole.

What he hadn’t planned on was liking messing around. He would never admit it, but the reason he couldn’t commit was because he couldn’t get rid of that small grain of hope that glowed in his chest every time you stared at him longer than would be deemed normal. It wasn’t often, but he knew he wasn’t seeing things. So, he succumbed to the cycle of push-and-pull that you guys had going on.

Jaehyun wasn’t blind, he knew that your work definitely spoke of your professionalism, but he’s also seen the way Nakamoto stared after you. Of the way his hand would often touch your waist when walking together. Even now, as he hears you apologize through the phone again as you get ready for your “date” with him he can’t help this heart feel heavy with anger. Anger at himself, for letting you slip away once more. He usually hopes for nothing but the best for you, but this time, he wishes you had an awful dinner.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I don't believe in romance

I'm afraid that after burning my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes

Throughout the entire dinner, you can’t seem to get Jae out of your mind. It keeps you from enjoying the delicious food, keeps you from keeping your usual banter with Nakamoto.

You’re about to call it a night and thank Nakamoto for inviting you out when he beats you to it, “damn, I was hoping this might be a good break from the usual overtime we do, but something tells me your mind has been elsewhere,” he offers good naturedly, “I know it’s valentine’s, so maybe this is why we feel so awkward, right?”.

You grimace a bit at that, “ah—I’m sorry. I really am grateful for the way you look after me in the company and I’m also thankful for this lovely dinner,” you stop a bit, afraid you might offend him, “I agreed to come out tonight, so no need to feel awkward.” You offer a smile.

“Alright then. I guess you already have your sights on someone?” he prods. Should you be honest? There was no rule against dating outside your department, and you were pretty sure your new boss’s wife also worked within the company. “…I do. But I’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way. It’s been so long since we’ve known each other. Surely if something were to have happened, it would have by now.” You were loosening up, definitely the wine’s fault.

Nakamoto sighs at that, “damn, and here I thought I could woo you after this,” he winks jokingly but you laugh him off. You knew he didn’t care for you that way. “I really hope you’re talking about the guy you always eat lunch with. I swear everyone thought you guys were married when you were released from training.”

“What?! No, I—we’ve been friends since we were children—”

“Aha! So it was him then,” he smirks. “Good.”

You groan, “Please, no.”

“What, it’s not him? You sure about that?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement,” you groan. Why were you discussing your love life? You push the wine away and take a sip of your water.

“Hmm. That’s too bad. Could have sworn that guy was after you.” He stands up. “But fine, I’ll stop prodding.”

You sigh in relief—“for now.” You groan. “What do you even mean by that? You don’t even know him. Or me, or at least personally at least.”

“Mmm, I don’t have to. Some things you just know. Like how he wishes I was six feet under every time we run across him at work,” he sobers up at that. “He seemed like a cool dude, but his glare isn’t too friendly. I don’t know how you fell for that.”

You scoff, “just because someone has a resting bitch face doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.”

You both make your way to the underground parking. “You’re right, it just makes them unapproachable. Is that why you won’t confess?” His genuine tone rubs you the wrong way, you don’t need be given false hope.

“Stop it, you said you would drop it,” you frown, “Anyways, thank you for the food boss—”

“—not your boss anymore. Just call me Yuta, we’re partners now.”

“Aren’t you two years older than me?”

“And?”

You shrug at that, “well, thanks Yuta. For the food, not for the interrogation.” He chuckles at that, nodding while pulling out his car keys. “see you Monday!” he waves you off.

You sigh as you get home. It wasn’t as late as you thought it was, only a few minutes past nine. You really wanted to see him. Would he be busy?

You fish out your phone and dial his number before chickening out.

“Hello?”

“Jae! It’s me. Are you busy right now?” your heartbeat is pounding so loud, you’re scared he could hear it on the other end. “Right now?” you hear shuffling on the other end, “no, I was just reading that book Jungwoo sent me. Might have dozed off a bit into it but don’t tell him I said that,” he chuckles.

“Why, is everything ok? It’s still early, did you end dinner that fast?”

“Oh, Yuta and I called it a night pretty early. Too many couples were out and about and it got a bit awkward,” you explained.

“Yuta?”

“Ah, yes. Yuta Nakamoto, but now that we’re associates, he said it would be better to address him less formally.” You waive him off, “actually, I was wondering—if it’s not too late, can I still come over? If not, that’s cool. We can still hang out tomorrow, but your birthday is today and I thought—”

He laughs at your rambles, “of course you can come over, you know you don’t have to ask. How many times have I told you that?”

“Ok, ok. Just checking,” you still had your comfy change of clothes in your car, so you opt to save those for tomorrow and change into something causal for tonight.

“Do you want me to go get you? We can get ice cream on the way, hopefully they don’t close early.”

“Sounds like a plan then,” curse your heart for melting at everything he says.

“Alright, give me 15 and I’ll be there.” He hangs up.

You look at your bag, resting on your sofa and you sigh. The entire night, it’s almost as if you could feel the weight of his gift weighing it down. Yuta is known for being very observant, it’s why he was so good at his job. Closing deals and making contracts in advertisement. Would he be right about this? You know you desperately wish he was, but is it worth risking your best friend?

EndNote | Woooow, that was a longass ride. Let me know if you liked it or if there are other typos I missed! Or just to let me know what you thought, that would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of finishing it by Sunday 6/13, so hopefully the next part is up by then. Until then!

Here's Part 2!

[redrose-arrow]

hi Duncan x halt anon here and you have NO IDEA what you’ve just unleashed (IVE BEEN WANTING TO TALK ABOUT THESE TWO FOR SO LONGN) but you said to go ahead and I will until it gets annoying!!!

ANYWAY so these two are...pretty different, right. But in the books Duncan lets Halt get away with a LOT and genuinely values him & Halt does have at minimum SOME respect for Duncan, bc I don’t think Duncan would tolerate just straight-up disrespect, but their dynamic is “very good friends friends who’ll tease/bully each other” more so than “loyal follower & royal leader”. SO what I’m thinking: after Crowley & Halt rescue him from the castle & they’re on their way to the tournament, Duncan realizes Halt is That Guy From The Ball That Duncan Totally Wasn’t Crushing On From Afar, and he’s like....BUT THEY SAID YOU WERE DEAD so Halt yanks him aside while Crowley’s distracted and is like “SHUT UP ILL TELL YOU LATER.” Duncan won’t tell Crowley or the others even if Halt doesn’t wanna explain but he IS very confused & Halt knows he won’t stop pestering him for an explanation...So he tells Duncan the story, late one night by the campfire, when Crowley is fast asleep. Halt keeps his voice low and he’s kinda reluctant to tell it at first but he gets through it, tells Duncan all about how his own brother resented him for being heir to a throne he never wanted in the first place, how he saw Ferris change and become more distant and manipulative over the years, how he witnessed firsthand how power could corrupt a man (and has the scars to prove it). Duncan asks about his parents, because surely they would’ve recognized the attempts on his life? “They fought too much to notice,” Halt says dismissively. “Even if they didn’t, I was hardly the son they would’ve wanted on the throne—Ferris was more charismatic, more amiable. I was the firstborn but he was their favourite, and I couldn’t quite bring myself to ruin that for them.” And he talks, eventually, about his little sister Caitlyn; the only one who saw what was going on and believed him when he told her, fever-ridden and delirious from a batch of “spoiled shrimp”, that Ferris was trying to kill him. The words come easier when Halt talks about Caitlyn and there’s something like a smile curled on his lips, and Duncan’s heart sorta skips a beat in his chest because Oh Right, I Used To Have A Crush On This Guy And It Turns Out I Still Kinda Do!!!! And then Halt talks about how Pritchard found him and how his mentor is the only one besides his terrible family who knows the truth about him & why he left, and maybe he doesn’t say it outright but he 100% implies that Pritchard is just so important to him. Like “father that I’ve never had, except I did have a father but he sucked and Pritchard was just so much kinder & better” kind of important

I took the liberty of copy-pasting your second ask so that no one else has to wait for the rest :)

"part 2 bc that was getting long,,,, ANYWAY, so Duncan and Halt stay up a bit longer talking—they move away from Ferris’ assassination attempts and just chat about other stuff for a bit. Duncan enjoys having another person to relate to abt the tediousness & honestly? the loneliness of royal life, and Halt honestly doesn’t expect to enjoy talking to someone else this much. The only other person he’s really connected to since coming to Araluen is Crowley, but Crowley is just enough of a bastard for Halt to tolerate (and maybe even like), so it’s a surprise that the other person he can connect with is a straight-laced prince. Also Duncan’s basically like “okay so this guy is an (ex?) crown prince, he’s INSANELY skilled & actually very funny in a deadpan, sarcastic way, AND he’s helping me take back my kingdom from an evil baron....yeah I can get behind this”. So yadda yadda they get through the confrontation with Morgarath at the tournament, and, true to his word, Duncan doesn’t tell any of the others about Halt’s background. At the end of the book when Pritchard is murdered, Duncan hears about it from Baron Arald and he’s like....oh, shit. He tracks down Halt and Crowley, both of whom are appropriately enraged and grieving, and makes proper funeral arrangements for Pritchard & allows them some time off to process their grief. Afterwards he goes to Halt privately, bc now he’s the only one who knows abt Halt’s childhood & he knows Halt lost more than a dear mentor—and Halt’s in his cabin being very short-tempered and snappy with him but Duncan just sits and waits. And eventually the anger kinda drains out of Halt, and he sits down at the table w Duncan and over ale they share stories about man who’d been like a father to Halt; Duncan didn’t know him all that well, but Pritchard had been around the castle enough when Duncan was a child for him to remember some of the chaos the man had caused. Halt tells a tale or two of his own and explains, a lottttt later when he’s drunker than he should be in front of the almost-king, that Pritchard had saved his life—they’d met while Halt was still at the castle and Pritchard had taught him how to swim some months before Ferris tried to drown him. But it was more than that, Halt tells him, it was so much more than that. Pritchard had been a safe haven, had given him refuge, had given him hope when he needed it most. And now he was gone and Halt was just..... he doesn’t finish the sentence but Duncan nods and says “I know”. Because yeah, he does know. And they sit in silence for a while longer, not as an (almost) King and Ranger but as two men who know what it’s like to be alone.

And now they don’t have to be!!! AND THIS ONLY COVERED THE FIRST TEY BOOK I have,,,, so many more things to say about these two but I THINK this has gotten long enough so 💀 I’ll leave this here. Ty for listening to my rant abt medieval middle-aged gays :D (also disclaimer: at this point, I think Duncan would be more or less the only one with some developing romantic feelings. But then again this only covers the first book, so Halt’s own revelation would come later)"

ANON YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING.

Their dynamic is indeed just that. Duncan recognising him out of the blue and Halt having to physically shut him up? Legendary. Duncan feeling his crush return? Amazing.

I never thought about Duncan and Halt relating about royal life but it makes so much sense??? especially just talking about the lessons and the trouble having friends etc etc. The resulting whole no-longer-alone thing has me *this* close to tears. Duncan then tracking down Halt -- he 11/10 w o u l d. Halt being angry and then just almost sobbing while Duncan has no idea wtf he should do but the fact that he's there and he's listening means everything to Halt.

Anon, I have absolute 0 regrets unleashing this. Awfully bold of you to assume that it'll get annoying. You fully got me now, I'm shipping them hard. I'm invested. Please do elaborate whenever you wish. I will gladly listen to more rants about medieval middle-aged gays. Go ahead.

[blackbat05]

I just watched Shang-Chi so here’s my review! It may be on the spoiler-y side so don’t read if you don’t want to get spoiled! If you want to talk about the movie feel free to slide in and chat! :)

BELOW:

1) Visuals

It was so breathtaking watching this masterpiece on the big screen. If you can, watch it in the cinema, I promise you won’t be disappointed.

2) Cast

Like so many of the MCU castings, Simu Liu as Shang-Chi is a bulls-eye. Being Asian and Chinese, my parents grew up watching Hong Kong films and although I respected what it bought to the table, I never really understood it. But seeing Tony Leung as Wenwu, it was such a balanced and nuanced character, considering he’s supposed to be the “villain” of the film. I would really love to say more but all I would say is that a villain doesn’t have to be outrageous to be fearful and Mr Tony Leung showed that perfectly. The father-son relationship was also beautifully crafted where there seemed to be some fear from Shang-Chi against his father but at the end there’s no trace of it. I’ll just say that with the experiences that I went through, I could really relate to that dynamic. Nevertheless, Wenwu’s method of upbringing was toxic, I will not deny that.

The girls also took the film to a different level in my opinion and I’m so grateful that Katy and Xialing are so different but so powerful in their own ways. In the beginning, Katy seems to be portrayed as someone who didn’t know what she wanted in life. But as we find out that she has a degree from a prestigious and respected university, it allows us to think there’s more that meets the eye. I can safely say, in the Asian context, I have seen so many close friends of mine doing what their doing now because their parents wanted them to and you can kind of predict the outcome. It’s still an existing problem in our society today and there will never be a quick solution to it. All I can say is that I’m grateful that my parents are supportive of whatever I’m doing.

On the other hand, Xialing grew up in an environment where girls weren’t allowed to do things that boys do but she didn’t let that define her. I for one have heard too many times in the classroom or just during my daily life: “can I have a few strong guys to carry so and so”. You have no idea how annoyed I was. I still hear that until today. To give you reference, I’ve been playing tennis competitively for 10 years, I grew up in an athletic family where I was trained by my father and my mother did athletics when she was younger. Anyways, like thank god my father isn’t Wenwu or remotely anything like him. He told me this one phrase and it describes Xialing perfectly. ‘STRONG IS BEAUTIFUL.’ Thank you Xu Xialing for being a role model for young Chinese girls. It’s been a long time coming.

Also, note to all directors. This is how you do a platonic friendship. God if the two friends continue into the MCU please please remember Director Daniel’s vision!

3) Action sequences

The fight scenes were so smooth, fluid and graceful. I’m not kidding you when I meant I could see every hit, every punch, every kick. Maybe skeptics would say that some were in slo-mo so I’ll leave it there but I’ve never felt so mesmerized and so calm by watching a fight scene. I would say that it is up there with Cap TWS as they are both equally action packed but in their own way.

4) Impactful part

Ying Nan with Shang-Chi! Where she simply just grabbed his hand and basically told him to relax as that’s the key to doing better. I think that spoke so much to me as I always had a problem relaxing when I was still active as a tennis player. I wish I realized sooner so that I didn’t have to go through so much confusion and emotional turmoil. Even now, I still find myself reminding that whatever I do, I have to be relaxed to give my best performance. So I’m glad this film reminded me again.

5) A bit dodgy

Haha ok well my friend pointed this out to me but I guess it’s film right so it’s all for the plot. But wow Katy really following her friend to stop his dad from potentially releasing soul sucking monsters into the world and then picking up some Katniss-level archery skills within a day(?) and practically saving Shang-Chi and Xialing (help I had serious Natasha-Vormir flashbacks during the film and this point)? But I guess I’ll close a blind eye to it hehe.

Overall stars: 4.5/5 ⭐️

If you’ve read till the end, I thank you sincerely with all my heart because this was hella long to type but I enjoyed doing so! Shang-Chi, you were such a pleasant ride and I hope to see more Asian (and POC) superheroes in the future of Marvel!

[mantistog]

Can you do a part 2 of apex predator?? Pretty please 🥺

Honestly, I had so many ideas but I had to bring in the family dynamic. I just love to see Five handle his siblings questioning his choices. Also, definitely making a whole ass umbrella academy blog. 

_____________________________________________

Yandere! Five Hargreeves x reader: Sickness. 

You wake up, noticing that you’re still wrapped up in Fives arms and an abundance of blankets. This alarms you in a way, as you have never once woken up before him. Not only that, but his breathing is slightly heavier than it normally is. You try to wiggle out of his hold as subtly as possible, but he just presses you tighter into him and mumbles something incoherent. You basically have to shove him and the blankets away to roll over and look at the clock, which you find that it’s much later than the usual time you get out of bed. Taking in a whiff of his scent, deciding to smell him up you already conclude that he is sick. Just to make sure though, you decide to put your hand on his forehead and you quickly remove it realizing just how hot he is.

You get out of bed, going to the kitchen and rummaging through the cabinets, not finding a single can of soup. Five never was fond of it, but you just assumed you’d have some laying around. Then you take to the bathroom, not finding any medicine you know what to do with either. You decided to make him hot milk, which you know he won’t appreciate either but it’s all you can think of. When you return he is sitting up slightly, a hand pressed firmly to his head as he groans. You place the mug gently on the nightstand, sitting down next to the bed and putting your head on it and looking up at him worried. 

You really don’t know what you’d do with yourself if Five wasn’t here. It’s like you unlearned to care for yourself. Even simple tasks like heating that milk seemed like a battle. Five pats your head, but looks down at the cup in disgust. “I’m not drinking that.” You hiss, grabbing onto his arm aggressively, and he looks surprised as he reels back a bit. “You NEED to drink it. It will help!” You reason with him, pleading up at him with your eyes. He looks away, just the movement of his head making him tired. You know if you’d done this while he was completely normal he would have punished you. Maybe you liked him better sick.

There’s silence, as he slowly grabs the mug and chugs the warm milk. He lets out a disgusted groan and puts the mug back down. You smile at him, pawing at his hand in a sign of approval. He can’t say he doesn’t enjoy the positive attention for once. “We don't have any medicine.” You inform him. He looks away like he has a secret, or maybe it’s regret. You can’t tell. “Yeah, I didn’t think it was safe to have any in the house.” There’s really no time to ask him what he means before he changes subject. “Can you get me the phone?” You nod, getting it for him. You’re silent as he puts in the number and the phone rings.

“It’s me. I’m going to need you to come over with some stuff.” You can hear static on the other end and talking, but no matter how much you strain your ears you can’t tell what the other part is saying. “I’m sick. I need medicine and.. Soup.” He says the last word with contempt and your nose scrunches up. You like soup. Maybe Five could learn to like it too. There’s some resistance but the other person finally agrees and Five hangs up after giving an address. Your address, you suppose. It’s not like he’s ever bothered to tell you. You can tell Five is less than pleased at having to let someone in, but you get giddy with the thought of seeing another living person for the first time in forever. 

Five grabs onto you, guiding you back into bed with him where you both cuddle up together. It’s way too hot, but Five seems to be shivering. You cuddle up to him closer, trying to provide him with the natural heat of your body. He starts fiddling with your hair, groaning in what you assume to be both annoyance and pain every once in a while. His mouth is constantly hanging open, as he breathes heavily. He coughs a bit before talking. “My sister is coming over with medicine. I expect you to behave yourself.” When he commands you like that, that’s when you hate him most. That’s when the thought of running away while he is weak grabs hold of you. But then he scratches you so gently behind your ears and you nod, knowing why you stay. 

You’re codependent. You need him as much as he needs you. So, when there is a soft knock at the door you sneak away, trying not to wake him. He doesn’t seem to notice or even stirr in his sleep when you detach yourself and walk downstairs and to the front door. You open the front door gingerly, peeking through the little opening in the door. There is not one, but three people standing there with multiple bags. They seem harmless so you open the door fully, eyeing them. The tallest woman, who is insanely beautiful might you add, looks confused and so does the small cute woman too. There is a guy behind them, who almost shouts at you before you lunge at him, putting your hand on his mouth. You make a shushing motion, and he seems to understand as you detach yourself.

 “He is asleep.” You whisper, and they nod seeming to understand. You step aside and let them in. They look around the house and it’s clear they’ve never been here before, even back before you moved in. You wonder if these people even are related to Five at all, from them not looking alike either Five or each other. You lead them into the kitchen, closing the kitchen door to dampen the sound. They all look at you so suspiciously, you get self conscious. It’s just silent, before the tall woman takes the initiative and puts the bag she has on the kitchen table. “We brought stuff.” She just says. You nod, walking over and looking into the bag.

You start to put it away, a large arrangement of canned soup and such. After looking around for a second she starts to help you. The guy has already sat himself down at your kitchen table, eyeing you as you move. “What are you?” He asks, and the short girl next to him turns to him, flabbergasted. “Diego-” She starts, but is interrupted when he talks again. “What?” He snaps at her. You have no idea how to handle this amount of hostility. Five might be aggressive, but he never snapped at you for no reason. There’s a thick silence in the kitchen, but luckily you’re saved when you can hear Fives loud voice basically SCREAM your name throughout the house. They all flinch, but you just rush back into your bedroom. 

You throw yourself onto the bed, hugging him close. “I thought you left.” Is all he says, holding onto you tightly. “Why would she leave?” Someone says from the doorway and Five shoves you away, looking at the intruder. “Vanya.” He simply says, looking at her. You just now notice how miserable he actually looks. His eyes are half lidded and red, his mouth hanging open slightly as he tries to get as much air as possible. “Didn’t take you long.” He simply says. She smiles. “I brought company.” Five is quick to reply. “Please, I don’t want any medicine Klaus has touched.” She laughs. 

“You didn’t tell us you had company already,” The guy, Diego, says, shoving his way past Vanya and into the bedroom with you. You’re almost scared Five will disown you in front of them, knowing how much he does not like to show his care or affection. But all he does is look at him coldly. “It’s not just ‘company’, it’s my partner.” You hide a bit under the covers, trying not to meet their eyes as they all stare at you. “You’ve never said anything about that.” The tall lady says. For some reason they all seem to have some hostility to Five now. “He sneers. “It’s none of your business.” Diego is looking around suspiciously, touching random trinkets. Vanya seems more confused than she seems suspicious. “How is that none of our business? We’re your family.” 

Five seems too tired as he rolls his head. “Can we take this another time?” He says, starting to get out of bed. He’s still in his sleeping clothes. “I just think it’s weird.” Diego says. Five shoves them all aside as you follow him back to the kitchen where he grabs a bag of medicine. You can hear them discussing something in the bedroom. “They’re catching on quicker than I suspected. I might have to take you to meet them all to satisfy them to not look further into this, but I don’t know if I trust you.” He says, chucking a glass of water and some pills. Your face falls. He has never really acknowledged that he knows taking you and keeping you away from everything was bad. 

“Why not?” You ask, something breaking in your bedroom making you flinch. Five doesn’t seem at all surprised or bothered. You guess he knows his siblings well. “I’m not blind, sweetheart. I see the looks. I see how much you want to leave me.” He says, and even if he is right your heart breaks a little. Seeing only one person for so long, might have made you slightly attached. One might even suggest that you had come to love him. It’s hard to find the right words, as he looks so weak and stands only with the support of the kitchen cabinets. “I don’t want to leave you, Five. I just want to leave. I just want to go out there.” His look softens. This is probably the first real conversation you’ve had with him about this. At least without him getting angry with you.

“It’s dangerous out there.” You sigh, not wanting to push him too far. “Although, when I recover from this we will have to go see them. Maybe if you can handle that.. The grocery store won’t be too bad.” You smile, and can’t help it when you throw yourself at him, planting kiss after kiss all over his face. Then you rest your head in the crook of his neck. He smiles deviously, knowing that he has groomed you right. Soon your relationship might even become more normal. 

Or as normal as he will allow it, anyways. 

[stiltonbasket]

could i possibly please prompt you for some grown up kiddies? like the girls and a-yu, what's their dynamic like when they're like teens? do they like to get into trouble a lot or follow all the rules strictly? it'd be interesting to see them on a nighthunt together, maybe. what do they do when they get into trouble, how do they solve problems together? i adore all your fics and your oc's, i'm in awe of you bro

Boys Over Flowers

by stiltonbasket

The worst day of Wei Shuilan’s life comes not long after her fourteenth birthday, when her A-Die hands her a packed lunch in a basket and tells it to take it to her elder brother in the produce field.

“Xiao-Yu sent a butterfly saying he couldn’t leave his moonflower sprouts,” A-Die says. “Go bring him his lunch, A-Lan, and then hurry back so your food doesn’t get cold.”

Looking back on it, that was the moment Wei Shuilan's world imploded.

(Or: nineteen-year-old Lan Xiaohui falls in love. His sisters try to cancel his romance subscription.)

All of those days were miserable in their own gloomy ways, but the worst day of Shuilan’s life comes not long after her fourteenth birthday, when her A-Die hands her a packed lunch in a basket and tells it to take it to her elder brother in the produce field. 

“Xiao-Yu sent a butterfly saying he couldn’t leave his moonflower sprouts,” A-Die says—because Lan Yu is a shidao cultivator, and the medicinal herbs and crops he grows are so strong and wholesome that Uncle Xichen once swore that the dandelion tea from Yu-gege’s field could cure his reading headaches. “Go bring him his lunch, A-Lan, and then hurry back so your food doesn’t get cold.”

Shuilan nods and takes off at a run with the basket balanced on her elbow, dodging over rocks and clumps of grass until she gets to the produce field. She expects to find her brother kneeling in one of the flowerbeds, since his moonflowers have proved even more stubborn the enormous cactus he grew for burn paste, but the moonflower bed is decidedly free of muddy teenage boys with equally muddy forehead ribbons, and a squint around the field reveals that Yu-gege is standing near the lotus pond instead. 

Yu-gege isn’t alone, though. There’s a young man hovering next to him, dressed in the colors of Qinghe Nie, and his face is so red that Wei Shuilan can see his ears turning scarlet all the way from the gate. 

“I thought you might like these,” her brother’s strange companion seems to be mumbling, shoving a bunch of fire lilies in Lan Yu’s direction. “They, um. They still have the bulbs on, and the shop said they would put out new roots just a day after touching soil, so you can p-plant them.”

“Zhuyan!” she hears Lan Yu cry, obviously delighted. “How pretty! But—oh, no, my—will you dig out some holes for me over there, Zhuyan-xiong? I can’t leave my moonflowers seedlings for another hour, or I’ll have to start from scratch all over again.”

Wei Shuilan feels her blood run cold. 

No. No, it can’t be. 

“I can help you with them,” the other youth says shyly. “Can I?”

Not the moonflowers! Wei Shuilan wants to scream. Gege doesn’t even let me touch the moonflowers!

That’s because you keep trying to combine the modao with Xiao-Yu’s shidao cultivation and turning his radishes into demons, a voice that sounds a great deal like her Xiongzhang’s scolds in the back of her mind. Of course he doesn’t let you touch them!

“Do you mind waiting until they’re a little stronger?” Lan Yu replies, cheerily oblivious to his own younger sister coming to deliver his lunch. “They should be able to handle double spiritual signatures in a month, I think.”

Horrified into speechlessness, Shuilan throws the lunchbox at his head with a burst of spiritual energy and flees. Yu-gege doesn’t even blink, though, and neither does the stranger, and Yu-gege only looks up when the basket thumps gently to the ground at his feet.

“Oh!” he frowns. “Wait, that’s the basket A-Niang uses for my lunch. Was someone here?”

“I don’t think so,” the stranger says, with an adoring face like a dumb calf that nearly makes Shuilan sick on the spot. “I didn’t see anyone but you, A-Yu.”

Oh no, you don’t, Shuilan thinks, stomping back to the jingshi with clenched fists and helping her parents lay out the lunch dishes so angrily that they exchange a pair of startled glances over her head. I don’t care who this Zhuyan-xiong is, but I’m not going to let him take our Yu-gege away!

*    *    *

Wei Shuilan comes from a rather large family, which is rare among the Lan clan: and among the Weis, as far as she knows, because six generations’ worth of records at Lotus Pier show that her A-Die’s forefathers tended to have single children. Papa has only one brother, Uncle Xichen, and their father had a single didi, Great-uncle Qiren; but Wei Shuilan is the third child out of four, and her parents sometimes joke that they wouldn’t have minded another dozen. 

Her eldest brother, Lan Sizhui (or Xiongzhang, to his siblings) is almost as old as A-Die is, due to A-Die’s sixteen-year stint as a dead man that began when Xiongzhang was a baby. By the time A-Die came back to life, Xiongzhang was almost eighteen, and then he and Papa adopted Yu-gege, who was only two years old when A-Die found him in a brothel in Yunping. Shuilan arrived three years later, after her parents were married, and her younger sister Chunyang was born just after Shuilan’s third birthday.

Shuilan and Chunyang are the closest in age, and the youngest of the four, which is why Shuilan makes a beeline to her sister’s desk after lunch to ask if A-Chun knows a young master from the Nie clan with the courtesy name Zhuyan. 

“Of course I do,” Chunyang says, her warm sweet voice tinted with confusion as she looks up from her book of fu verses—a gift from Uncle Zizhen, who wrote most of the poems in collaboration with Nie-zongzhu. “He’s Nie Zhuxi-gongzi’s younger brother.”

“Really?” Shuilan frowns. Nie Zhuxi is something of a family friend, since he’s Nie-zongzhu’s heir, but he barely visits the Cloud Recesses because Father never even makes an effort to hide how much he dislikes him. “Oh. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Why did you ask about him?” A-Chun wonders. Shuilan fights the urge to poke at her chubby steamed-bun cheeks and then decides that she might as well just do it, because A-Chun is nearly eleven and her adorable round cheeks probably won’t last for much longer anyway. “Jiejie?”

“I saw him just now in A-Niang’s produce field,” she sulks. “He was giving Yu-gege flowers.”

“So what?” Chunyang’s bewilderment makes sense, she supposes, because everyone gives their brother plant-related gifts when they visit Gusu; he’s the most famous shidao cultivator within the four great sects, though most of his fame comes from that one time he ran into a dog yaoguai when he was seventeen and yelled for A-Die and Father to save him. “Nie-shushu always gives Gege flowers and seeds. And he couldn’t come this week for your birthday, so he must have sent the flowers along with Nie Zhuyan.”

“It’s different when it’s Nie-shushu,” Shuilan protests. “He sent A-Die a baby dress for you before you were even born! But this Nie Zhuyan, he blushed when he was giving flowers to Yu-gege, and his ears were red! Like Papa’s always are when he looks at A-Die!”

“Oh!” her sister gasps, shooting straight out of her chair and grabbing Shuilan’s hands. “You mean—you mean he was giving Yu-gege flowers as a courting gift?”

A-Chun’s eyes look like sparkling black stars, and Shuilan nearly groans out loud before pulling the little girl back down to earth with a bump. “A-Chun, that’s bad! He’s not allowed to court Yu-gege!” she hisses. “We don’t know a thing about who he is, or where he comes from, or—”

“But...but he’s Nie-shushu’s cousin,” A-Chun points out. “And we’ve visited Qinghe Nie hundreds of times. We know his older brother, too!”

Shuilan’s eyes go wide. “That’s right!” she cries, bringing her fist down on the table as A-Chun leaps two feet into the air. “We know Nie Zhuxi, and we can’t trust him!”

“Um...why can’t we, Jiejie?”

“Because Nie Zhuxi tried to steal A-Die from Father! Before A-Die and Father got married, they were staying at the Unclean Realm, and Nie Zhuxi kept on flirting with him! He came to A-Die’s room after dark, and he made A-Die wear his clothes, and—”

The door slides open. 

“Nie Zhuxi?” their father’s voice croaks, right before they turn around to find him standing in the doorway with a frozen kind of look on his face. “A-Lan. Has Nie Zhuxi been here?”

Chunyang pouts and crosses her arms. “Papa, it’s time you made up with Nie-gongzi! You know Uncle Huaisang was just bribing him to flirt with A-Die so it would make you jealous!”

“I do not like him,” their father says snootily. “He demanded the clothes off your A-Niang’s back, and then he had the nerve to laugh when Wei Ying took them off and returned them to him.”

“That’s why we have a problem, Papa!” Shuilan cries. “His brother is trying to court our Yu-gege!”

Their father’s lips turn white. “What?”

“I saw him! He showed up with flowers for Gege, and he kept blushing—and Papa, Gege was staring at him so much that he didn’t notice I was there! I came to give him his lunch basket, and he didn’t even look at me!”

“Courting,” Father says, in a strangled voice that makes Shuilan’s own throat ache. “Not—not possible. Xiaohui is only nineteen.”

“He’s of age,” Chunyang pipes up, apparently under the impression that someone courting Lan Yu is a good thing instead of the worst crisis their family has ever had to endure. “And if they’re courting now, they’ll probably court at least a year, right? Gege will be twenty by then, Papa. Don’t worry.”

“I must speak with Wei Ying,” Father mutters, before absconding in a whirl of white satin robes and the flash of a silver hairpiece. “Courting my son, without leave! As if I would ever let such a thing happen!”

And then he disappears, leaving his daughters blinking in a sudden draft behind him. He’s probably going to find A-Niang in the jishi, which means that A-Niang is going to be responsible for telling Nie Zhuyan to stay away from Yu-gege. 

(For a moment, Wei Shuilan almost feels sorry for her brother’s would-be suitor, for having his dreams crushed the moment he worked up the courage to give Lan Yu a courting gift. 

Only almost, though.)

*    *    *

“So, Xiao-Yu!” A-Die says at dinner that night, as cheerful as ever as he fills Yu-gege’s bowl with hot rice and makes sure he gets plenty of vegetables from the dish in the middle of the table. “What’s this I hear about you going courting? Did you really grow up so much when I wasn’t looking, baobei?”

“Courting?” Lan Yu asks, around a mouthful of stew beef and potatoes. “Who’s going courting?”

“You, you silly cabbage. Aiyah, A-Yu, why didn’t you tell us? I’ve been looking forward to seeing you get married for so long, baobao, honestly—”

“I’m...I’m not courting anyone, though,” Gege replies, looking like a stunned rabbit for a minute before shaking his head and serving himself a helping of beans. “I’m too young, A-Niang! I just want to cultivate my plants and help you take care of A-Lan and A-Chun. And I don’t even like anyone, either.”

“You need not fear to tell us if you grow to care for someone, Xiaohui,” Father says anxiously. Shuilan can’t work out whether he’s still upset or not, because that sounded like he was upset at the thought of Lan Yu courting someone in secret rather than by the fact that he was courting at all. “We are your parents, and it is our privilege to guide you through all aspects of your life, including this.”

“Um. Thank you?” Lan Yu offers, clearly bewildered by the worry in Father’s eyes. “I really don’t want to court anyone, though. And I promise to tell you if I ever do, Papa.”

“Then what about Nie Zhuyan?” Shuilan wails, bursting into tears. “He gave you flowers! I saw him! And you were looking at him like he was the only one left in the world, and—”

Unexpectedly, her brother throws his head back and laughs. “Oh, my poor little A-Lan!” he coos, putting down his chopsticks and coming around to her side of the table to hug her. “Oh, no! I’m not courting Zhuyan-xiong. Those flowers were from Uncle Nie, not him, and—don’t cry, Lan-bao! Nie Zhuyan is the last person on earth I would ever think of marrying, you know. And besides, he already has someone he likes! He told me so.”

“Really?” Chunyang asks, looking so disappointed that A-Die passes her a dish of sweet bean porridge. “Who is it?”

“Oh, it’s Mianmian. You remember Auntie Qingyang’s daughter, right? She’s just a little older than Zhuyan-xiong, and he’s been making eyes at her for years. You know, I baked some of A-Niang’s lotus cakes for her once when we went to visit Ling-gege, and Zhuyan was so upset when he heard! He cried, actually, and he didn’t stop until I promised that I didn’t like her that way.”

A-Die’s face turns purple, and he almost chokes on a bit of meat before burying his head in his hands and laughing until he cries. Next to him, Father’s face goes oddly still, and stays that way until A-Die drags himself upright again with tears of mirth running down his cheeks. 

“He likes Mianmian?” he gasps, bursting into another fit of giggles. “Oh. Oh, so it’s like that.”

“What does that mean?” Chunyang inquires, as Father puts his chopsticks down and closes his eyes. “Like what? Papa?”

“You’ll understand when you’re older,” A-Die snorts. “Here, A-Yu, have some more of the lotus pudding.”

And after that, for some reason far beyond Wei Shuilan’s fourteen-year-old comprehension, the subject of Nie Zhuyan courting her brother is never brought up again.

*    *    *

“Oh, that poor boy,” Shuilan hears her A-Die cackle later that night, while she and Chunyang are brushing their teeth in the bathroom. “Oh, that poor boy! Lan Zhan, he’s just like me!”

“I am aware,” Father says wearily, followed by the creaking sound of her parents climbing into bed. “I do not doubt that Xiao-Yu will remain blind to Nie Zhuyan’s love for the next several years.”

A beat of silence, then. “Lan Zhan,” A-Die whispers, “you—I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I should never have made you wait for me for so long. Sometimes I think of how I love you now, and how much it would hurt me to lose you, or believe that you didn’t love me back, and…”

“I would have been the happiest man in the world even if you rejected me,” Father whispers back. “As long as you were happy, and healthy, and safe. I would you rather hate me, torture me a thousand ways, than injure a single hair upon your precious head—Wei Ying, you were gone, and then you returned to life when I spent the last sixteen years cursing myself for letting you go. What more could I ever have asked of you, my love?”

“I made you wait for me a whole year after I came back, darling. You can’t tell me that wasn’t torture to bear, Lan Zhan, because I won’t believe you.”

“Xingan,” their father chides, before the sound of a kiss makes A-Lan giggle so much that her toothbrush falls out of her mouth. “I had my beloved sleeping in my arms, with our son sleeping between us, and you think I was unhappy?”

“Well, when you say it like that…”

“That was the happiest year of my life, A-Ying. And then I married you, and the next year was the happiest. And then we celebrated our first anniversary, and the next year was happier still.”

“Does that mean that today was the happiest day of your life, then?”

“No,” Father says decidedly. “It was yesterday. Before I heard about Nie Zhuyan.”

“Aiyah, Lan Zhan. Our little ones have to grow up someday, you know. A-Yuan might not ever marry, but A-Yu and A-Lan and Chun-bao are going to fall in love, and have people fall in love with them, and they might even get their hearts broken, but—”

“Never! Never, not while I draw breath. I have had my heart broken into pieces, and I would rather die than see our children suffer so. If that means I must pass a decree forbidding that boy to enter the Cloud Recesses, then it shall be done.”

The conversation doesn’t end there, but A-Chun’s eyes are slipping closed, and Shuilan doesn’t want to hear any more kissing, so the two of them go back to their room and jump into their beds.

“Jiejie?” Chunyang asks, after Shuilan puts out the lights and drags her pillow up over her head. “Do you want to fall in love? Someday, when you’re older?”

Wei Shuilan shakes her head. “No. I hate boys. The only one who even wants to talk to me is Lan Fang, and all he ever wants to talk about is how demonic cultivation corrupts the body and wounds the soul.”

“But it doesn’t corrupt A-Niang’s body and soul, does it?”

“He doesn’t mean A-Niang,” she sniffs. “He means me. Lan Fang thinks he knows better just because he’s a boy, and I hate him.”

“Oh,” A-Chun nods. “Jiejie, I think I want to fall in love.”

“Then Jiejie will support you! Do you like anyone, Chun-bao?”

“Not yet. But someday!”

And then Chunyang closes her eyes and falls asleep, leaving Wei Shuilan to her own muddled thoughts until she falls asleep, too. 

[wastelandcrown]

all’s fair in fake love and gore

CHAPTER 1: (un)predictability

Summary: Roman and Patton have been dating for a while, and it’s fine. Remus doesn’t care. Unfortunately, it’s another excuse for his family to put Roman on a pedestal. Except that, through a turn of events nobody expected, Remus ends up pretending to be madly in love with his close friend Logan for his family’s holiday trip. Both parties are convinced nothing will happen between them. Roman and Patton, however, are terrible meddlers who believe in the power of love.

Warnings: Potential ooc behavior, Lightly tense family dynamics, Remus being Remus, OCs for family members (If I miss something please tell me!)

Notes: Listen-I hate the holidays but I live for this trope. I’ll try my hardest to do it justice and make it work. Name was suggested to me by the lovely @grayskiesrainyskies, thank you ma’am!!

Pairings: Intrulogical, Royality, Creativitwins

Two hours. It’s just two more hours. He’s reasoning with himself against all odds, but the urge to slam his head against the dining table is palpable and he’s barely holding it together. Remus had always hated family dinners, he hadn’t even bothered going up until recently. Adulthood was messy. Family was messier. More accurately, Remus was the mess of the family. Roman and him had long since mended their relationship, they even hung around in the same circle! That only made it worse when Roman and their mutual friend Patton started dating. It’s not that he wasn’t happy for them, he was. Their fluffy, happy, fairy-tale romance was something out of some god damned Disney movie, and Remus was so happy someone put up with Roman’s hopeless romanticism. Except now, because the family loves Patton.

He’s spent the entire night being as family friendly as he possibly could. It was a tiring effort to be dressed up like a “normal person”, without any makeup or accessories, and placating the old fleabags that he happened to be related to. Even then, he got the typical onslaught of negative attention. He didn’t even care. He didn’t, he really really didn’t. What made the dinner so wildly unbearable was Patton’s existence. He got along with everyone in the family, helped out with cooking, set the table, watched the kids, and was entirely sweet and rated-G. The family doted on him. Remus and Roman’s parents told Roman that Patton was “the one”. Both pairs of grandparents called him a “sweet young man” who was “the perfect homemaker for Roman”. Ugh. Perfect Roman, perfect Patton, and their perfect romance. 

Dinner came, and now the family can’t seem to stop asking them happy little questions. The kids table even came over with the occasional curiosity about Patton and Roman. Remus could tell Roman’s calm and polite demeanor was shattering around question thirty. Even Patton was tired at question fifty. Then Aunt Patty had to open her stupid mouth.

“Well Patton,” She says with a wide smile, “You really are such a great young man! It’s quite the blessing that you’re with Roman.”

There it is. That’s what Remus has been waiting for all night. 

“Aunt Patty, please,” Roman mutters, putting his head in his hands.

“Uhm, I’m not really sure what you mean!” Patton laughs nervously, genuinely confused about what she means. 

The table laughs, and Aunt Patty continues, “Oh, well, I just mean that you chose the right twin!”

Roman succumbs to the urge and lets his head slide onto the table, his hands are behind his head and squeezing at his neck. Patton stares at Aunt Patty like she’s gone mad. Remus slips his butter knife off the table and stabs the back of his hand with it. It hurts, but skin doesn’t break. Most of the table laughs. His parents, his grandparents, his aunts and uncles, his adult cousins. They all laugh at the prospect of someone so nice dating someone like Remus. He stabs his hand again, harder this time.

His mother pipes up next, and Patton looks as if he’s going to lose his mind, “It’s a blessing really! If Remus brought someone home they’d probably be crazier than he is!”

“We really are lucky he doesn’t keep partners around for long!” Says his grandfather, and the table laughs again. Remus stabs his hand again.

He can see the gears of Patton's brain working as Roman sits up, “Guys,”

There’s something dangerous behind Patton’s eyes, “Can we please,”

Patton smiles in a way that makes Remus panicky, “Just leave Remus alone?”

He’s got a devious plan, and Remus can tell by the way he places a soft hand on Roman’s shoulder.

He brightly says, “See, Remus, this is why I told you you should have brought him!”, while making the most innocently intense eye-contact Remus has ever had. 

Patton has been spending way too much time with Janus. 

Everyone goes silent. Even the kids, which is a miracle. Remus stabs himself in the hand for the fourth time, the skin breaks. His blood gets onto the sleeve of the white button-up Roman lent him. 

“Remus,” His father speaks very softly, “Do you have a partner?”

Patton smiles at him again, he thinks it over once or twice, “Yeah, what about it?”

“Why didn’t you bring them?” His mother asks with excitement clear in her voice.

Remus scowls, and everyone knows why, “You literally just fu-freaking laughed about his mere existence.”

One of his uncles clears his throat and breaks the silence, “H-How long have you been with them?” 

“Six months.” Remus lies, he hopes the three of them can act well enough to pull it off.

That amount of time is five months longer than any of his previous flings, and his parents erupt into dramatic cries, “You haven’t told us after half a year!”

“I told Roman and Patton!” He yells back, turning back to his food and shoving some in his mouth to angrily chew.

“Roman! Patton! Who is it? Do we know him? Is it serious?” His father has stood up and has leaned over the table to interrogate the pair. 

“Do-” Roman starts, and Remus knows he’s doomed, “Do you remember my friend, Logan?” 

Remus kicks Roman under the table. As hard as he possibly can. His father stops moving, his mother drops her fork. 

“You’re lying.”

“He’s not!” Patton chirps, “None of us expected it either but they’re very cute together!”

“Is Logan that stuck-up boy from their high school graduation who kept talking about following the proper protocol?” His grandma asks with a surprisingly shocked expression.

“That’s the one!” Roman points as he speaks, then the entire family has their eyes on Remus again. 

“What? Are you looking for some explanation or something? He’s smart and he’s hot and he respects my choices,” Remus scoffs out, getting out of his chair and taking his plate to the kitchen, “I’m not talking about this anymore.” 

Patton and Roman follow him into the kitchen with their plates. As he scrapes his plate into the trash, he gives Patton the most intense glare. 

“Remus, I’m so sorry-” Patton pauses, and snatches him by the hand, “Did you stab yourself!?”

The next two hours, nobody brings anything up. It’s a breath of fresh air to have them shocked into respecting his damn privacy. Family leave or head to bed. The only people left awake when the trio are leaving are the twins' parents.

“What do you want, dad?” Remus asks when his father approaches.

His father gives a smile that he assumes was supposed to be warm, and opens his mouth to speak.

“Dad, Remus and I should really be going,” Roman cuts in, probably to try and save Remus from a potentially foreboding conversation.

Roman is pushing Patton and Remus towards the door, their dad chuckles. They must look fairly comedic with Roman angrily pushing against their backs as they stand without budge.

“Remus, you know the family’s winter trip is coming up,” 

“Ugh, don’t remind me,” He rolls his eyes, and Patton smacks him upside the head.

“Your mother and I would like to extend the invitation to Logan, to get to know him.”

The room is so silent, you can almost hear Aunt Patty snoring in the guest room. Despite everything, Remus can’t bring himself to just say “no” to this offer. The family Cabin is huge, beautiful, quiet, and has a very nice library. Y’know, rich people shit. It really does seem like something Logan would love under different different circumstances. 

He agreed to ask, but he was sure Logan would say no.

“No.”

Called it. Remus knew that even if himself, Roman, and Patton groveled and begged, Logan was not going to budge.

“Logan! It’s only two weeks!” Roman pleads.

“You need a break anyway! What’s more relaxing than being my little boytoy!” Remus grumbles, he’s only partially joking. Logan does need a break, he can tell.

“Okay but have you seen their cabin?” Patton asks in the innocently excited way he tends to do.

That piqued Logan’s interest. He looks at Patton and inquisitively moves his eyebrow vaguely upwards. Roman opens up a folder on his phone of photos from the cabin. There are nearly two hundred, but each photo is whittling down Logan’s resolve. He thinks again about their neat little family library. The fairly large room goes almost entirely unused, only with two exceptions. Remus, and long past on Gran-Gran. Remus remembers sitting on his great-grandmother’s lap while she read to him countless stories. She didn’t mind his weirdness. Logan didn’t mind much either. He’d be alone with hundreds of books for three weeks, what more could he want? He’d just have to let Remus sit in. 

“You know,” Remus leans in, whispering into Logan’s ear very gently, “We’ve got a big library.”

That’s what breaks Logan, who lets out the longest sigh Remus has ever heard in his life.

He agrees to go on two conditions. He will have physical contact with Remus but he will not kiss him, and he gets the make up the story of how the pair met. Remus couldn’t be more ecstatic. His family could suck it! He had a sexy ass fake boyfriend, who's probably gonna make up some dumb and adorable story about meeting in at a Library Book Club Meeting. Logan’s hot, he’s hot. It will work out. No strings attached. None. 

Roman jokes to Remus everyday before the trip that we all know how the trip will end. Remus thinks he’s more unpredictable than that. He hopes he is.