#anyways this blog is supposed to be fun

[sapphic-woes]

Maybe I rlly should just move onto apex....like this is what I do to cope, distract, help my mental health, no goddamn way imma deal with a hint of anything that does the opposite.

[vlasdygoth]

going ham with these crayolas recently

[istherewifiinhell]

scheduled hopefully for appropriate insanity causing hours

304 cant believe everyone in gin.tama just lives like this. the. speech convictions dramatic childhood flashbacks promises lifestyle. not just for main characters i guess (is this guy the shogun.....)

yay yay yippppppe the guys. yay ayay yippeee flashbacks. DONT DIE.

kaaaaaaruga. always suspected. if i understood her more id be obsessed. Confirmed. 2 second in pulling that. i was waiting for ur weakness bullshit. BEAT UP UR OLDER BROTHER. (<- comma. gay? ) kagura born on this planet.... half a second of taka.gin grappling could sustain me for a life time (gin puts his hands on him to throw him) hey fellas i know this is the Sword Penis show but have u considered going at it meg.op. style. for me?

omg baby flashback leftest infighting. sugi ur not the most oppressed person in the world u know. well u would say that scholarship baby zura. diddddddd they shape each others ideologies like that. where they reading theory together as shitty little kids -> well prob not this show but lets indulge

oh right gin former. ghost eating thing. showing up to the school yard beef with a real sword.

HI SHOU.YOU. HI. his little pogchamps

loveeee how they do the blood in this show looks like velvet, alll dark shimmery. also the editing. wooooo.

bushido speech. this shit is cool actually. also leon.ardo the ninja turtle would love it (03)

zura giving him fooooood oh no. little. verbal redirects of kindness transparency

NOOOO SUGI beats gin for the first time clip NO NONO SUGI LAUGHING SLOW MO CLIP (already tearing up)

ahhhh the position of the school and the attitudes of the backgrounder kids actually very affecting and interesting isnt it.... shou.youuuuuuuu the man(thing) that u are....

ep. 305

theeeeee babies. the babies.... the babiest guys. so so charmedddd by them charmeddd again by how. unexpected? maybe. sugi and zura stick together.... the remainers..... kidtoki why are uuuu such a perfectly cromulent. thing. little. video game character ass look. perfect. shitty cool affect. wanna pinch his little cheeks 10/10 letting this kid be the leader of the playground gang.

shou.youuuuuu shou.youuuuuu. such a. believably. man with his complexities but hes being around children so (friendly voice) 'thats right. what do you think' sooooo. yeah immediately believes 100 thousand percent he means everything he says so truly yeah i probably would get. horrible weird trauma give the givens too

THROW THE SWORDS AWAY YAYYYYYY. flashback. ohhhhhhh sugi. i little. weird bitch (said in. desperate scrambling fondness. i love the things that are wrong with him)

gin boots are so hot...

SOMEONE INTIMATE TO CUT AND CURSE!!!!!!! ohhhhh babes (what could i possible say abt it that hasnt been said) well i hope they fuck themselves to death about it

fightscene styles gt vs tf <- place holder i left for myself. that will be extricated to a diff post.

gin scrambling in the blood and dirt under all the promises he has given his loved one. YES BABE. thats exactly what ur supposed to be going

ohhhhhh godddddddd the fucking beheading scene back to back from both of their perspectives oh jesus fuck oh hell. im going to. cut and curse at someone else. i guess. THANKS HIM. THANKS HIM FOR IT. (crying) cool. thats normal. i feel normal about the man (shou.you)(gin)

what the fuck. oboro real? thats fucked up. THATS WHO TAKES THE EYE? (knew this techincally) WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. (am seeing him) why is he a grown ass man i thought he was a kicked dog of a boy.

SUGI. SUGI YOU DUMB BITCH (loves him)(loves intractable positions)(loves the emotional incommunicability of reality)(loves an emotional confliction you can never resolve and just have to die about) he did it to save u fucking losers. cause his fucking teacher dad man asked him too. and thanked him for the service. ohhhhh u miserable fucks

why did you SAVE US. say it like that. damn.

oh youd do anything. youd kill shou.you. youd kill sugi himself. just to save the student your teacher loved. okay. okay. jesus. so you are the same. so your exactly the same person. your saying things that dont even make sense youve both lost any plane of reality cause you cant separate the things youve lost from the things you have. the very people youve saved are now reflected in those youve lost and youll both kill them to keep them alive. okay. no yeah thats fine cool lol.

(i guess sugis version would technically be said in reverse, you cant separate what youve have from what youve lost and the very person you lost are reflect in the one who saved you. and to keep him alive (crying gin.toki) youd kill him)

and MOST IMPORTANTLY. because you are the same person. you see yourself in him and him in yourself and u cant figure out where you end and he begins and your diametric opposed mirror reflection goals that lead you to taking. the exact same actions. okay. lol. OKAY. lol.

WHO THE FUCK IS OBORO. GET OUT OF HERE FREAK. i was talking.

id alt. im always saying this. or even just. Why is Oboro.

ep 306

heyyyyyy kagura! hiiiiii. youre not dead yay! hi. older brother. youre still here.

squints ohhhh these are. the cops? mayo man and. is this the other canonical gay sex haver or. (only has the normalest of second hand knowledge)

'if im just gonna end up as fertilizer anyway, i dont care if my path there is paved by roses or thorns.' damn dude. get out of the fucking. whatever ur in. and go become a metal music lyricist. what the fuck

oh shin.pachi. ur in this show.

googling. cant figure it out. whoever this green zombie bitch is sounds familiar. wish he had a name or smth.

damn there really is space in this show huh. thats crazy thats crazy. planet of the big hats vs planet of. umbrellas? anyone wanna watch space military anime.....

shogun 'i will protect the country were my friends live' what kagura said abt the planet. 'and to fulfill that goal, you'll even endure the deaths of your friends here?' gestures at the shou.you trolley problem. wow. that is tidy. good job recursive gin.tama

why do you grip that broken sword. you killed your teacher. you battled your friend. - my enemy is right here. WEVE NEVER CHANGED. weve all been fighting our own selves. ill stop him. even if it means having to kill him. but im also the one who understands how he feels better than anyone else

ohhhhhh gin. tama. ohhhhh gin. toki. i love u. i love u so much for just. saying insane thesis shit. like. yeah! YEAH OKAY! yeah thats. making out sloppy style with the narrative theming <- what do i mean by that.

be it killing him or protecting him. their both my job (gets so hard i pass out)

gin: says the most homoerotic twisted identity shit ive ever heard in my life that rests solely on. how unextractable gin. and sugi both are from each other due to. their love of shou.you. and thus. reflectionally. each other. oboro: his students are burning with hatred. <- IS HE STUPID?

and second question. upon reflection, looking at this grown ass man thing. do we have a classic ninja turtles adult beefing with teenagers situation. please tell me yes i will roast this man to shit.

(sugi also say gay twisted identity shit) [impact image font] we are. we are going to beat you to death.

[ending bumper comedy thing] u cannot deny their commitment to the bittism. need this shit for my annoying nitpick continuity fandoms. yeah no it was cause he pooped his pants. he shitted and farted.

[formerlycookierunauprompts]

Im tryna cook here so hear me out on this : what if SMC(shadow milk cookie)​&reader are in the same trope of Rudolph​&Catherine from dangerously yours?(it may not be same-same kidda wipe cuz I didn't watch the movie yet lol(srry not srry))​ : It's started from reader got send by the witches to spy keep eyes on the old ancients(before corrupted-after corrupted)​but suddenly reader fell in love with one of them(aka SMC)​and so do he,but then after he and the other got corrupted he become obsessed toward them(obviously)​but then he started to realized that the witches are planing to seal him and the other fallen ancient​s away cause​ of their actions of being corrupted and cause choas on earthbeard, so he conveice reader to tell him how to get to the witches(reader's witches spy and have their own specific way to contact/went to face the witches)​ and get him and his friends revenge on the witches but reader ran away instead and not telling him,and in the end they met each other​ again at the silver tree where the witches was going to seal them in and the line between reader&shadow milk will be like : "your time is up" "do you think actually going to let it happen?to let them seal me?to seal us?!" "..i mean just that" "....... well then go ahead" "i'll get this over with" "You won't do it,you won't let this happen...you won't because you love me."-"it takes a very brave and and a very cold person to do that,(y/c/n)"-"I don't think you can..."

Note / I think amma gonna end it here and I'll let u imagine it on ur own😭actually it was gonna be longer than this but I accidentally delete half of it so my lazy ass just tell me to get this over with😔(no any​one's oc x canon pls I beg u(Im srry))​

throwing this into the Warden Reader AU, because silly.

Requested Prompts #44 - 💔💓

The words of the witches ring through your head as you stand ready in your position. " You have to be there, Reader Cookie." They had said. " For you are the only one who can see through his deception, it's how we know that the seal will truly work on them all." You knew what they'd really meant, but it was whatever. This was your purpose, what you were made for. There was no defying your own destiny when your were chained to it. It was an anchor dragging you down into the abyss of the sea, dread it, run from it, hide from it all you wish but it will still drag you down all the same. And then, you saw him. Your destiny made personified right in front of you in the form of a far too large blue cookie. Shadow Milk Cookie, the Cookie of Deceit as Elder Faerie had put it. The grin he wore was wide, yet not open enough to look insane as it usually did. His eyes were focused on you, keeping track of each and every action you took and each reaction you displayed. Such analysis befitted the former Cookie of Knowledge, but only fragments of the past were left in the beast before you. He'd strayed from how the witches made him due to the power of the soul jam, all of them had. You steel yourself after a mere millisecond of hesitation, pointing your spear at him with determination. " Your time is up." You coldly announced, not daring to let anything else slip into your tone. He'll use anything to get the upper hand, all you need to do is to distract him until the seal is prepared. His grin widened. " You mean you're actually going through with this? You're actually sticking by them, even though they're betraying you?" He asked, almost mockingly in tone. You knew not to search his expression for a hint of genuineness in his expression like you did in the past, and yet you did for just a moment. And maybe there was something, but you stopped yourself from looking. " ... I mean just that." You replied. You watched as he shrunk down, each step he got smaller and smaller until he was just a bit taller than you. " Well by all means, go ahead my dear." He said almost cruelly, taunting you by laying his head upon the tip of your spear. You hesitate, " This will be your finale." you state to his amusement. He smiled, an airy chuckle seeping through his lips. " You won't do it, you can't bring yourself to let this happen. All because you love me." The beast taunts, pressing his neck closer to the blade in a way that was just enough to draw forth a few droplets of his blueberry jam. " It takes a very brave and cold cookie to do that, I don't think you can."

----

Or, what happened before the witches sealed the beasts in the Warden!Reader timeline, and during.

[shorthaltsjester]

i do not want to dig a hole but i am too much of a laura bailey pc enjoyer to not make this post so:

selfishness ≠ a lack of kindness 

selfishness is a theme that has come up with all of laura's main campaign pcs. that doesn't mean that her characters are always making selfish choices or that they don't care about the rest of the people they're with or that they're not good. it's just that, for the most part, the first thing they're thinking of when they take action or make choices is themselves. 

in jester and vex both it is more typical and obvious selfishness. vex's developed because she needed it to keep herself and vax alive and as safe as possible and it grew into a behaviour that she had to actively work to avoid. it's evident in her greed, her theft of the broom, her reaction to her own death which relied heavily on i'm okay/i survived to which keyleth reminded her that she wasn't the only one who had to witness and reckon with her death. in jester's case, she grew up in an environment that literally trained her to make every decision based on two things - her mother's opinion and her own. so, when she's out in the world without marion for the first time, her choices are those that will benefit her and her actions are those that consider her own thoughts and not really many others' (aside from the traveler's). 

it isn't a criticism of either vex or jester to say that they are characters who act selfishly. in fact, i'd argue that to claim otherwise does a great disservice to exactly how immense both of their character arcs are. because the nuance of both jester and vex is that they are selfish, and they also hold extreme room for self-sacrifice and empathy. vex is much more brash than jester is, and jester is much more trusting than vex, but both of them are characters who begin with selfish impulses who grow with them. neither ever truly shed those impulses, but they use them in new ways, typically transforming them into impulses towards things that are in the best interest of the party. 

you may have noticed the lack of imogen in this post about laura bailey pcs and that's because of two reasons. one, we are an unknown amount of time into her story, i can't analyse her development the same way i can vex and jester's. two, imogen's selfishness isn't the blatant quasi-self-aware selfishness that we see in things like jester complaining about her lack of money to caleb or vex stealing a broom. instead, imogen's is very internal, like a lot of laura's character work with imogen. it is a bit similar to jester’s in the sense that it comes from a lack of awareness moreso than vex’s practiced behaviour, but imogen’s is a lot more tied to inherent beliefs she has about the world and the people in it.

as a consequence of her powers, imogen sees people's thoughts as their entirety, she holds it above their actions to be the truth of who they are - to act against what they think or to say something that doesn’t cohere with what they’ve thought is akin to lying, so for her to act empathetically is to act in tandem with what someone else’s thoughts are, not how they act, which is typically not all that wanted. the same as vex’s greed and jester’s naivety, this is a trait that makes narrative sense and it’s one i find quite compelling, especially when read in the vein of someone struggling through trauma that has made them assume that the world is against them. imogen’s cynicism is coherent cynicism, i can’t say that in a similar situation i wouldn’t have the same predisposition towards the world.

the part that is particularly self-interested comes in if you look at how imogen has actually been treated in the campaign (quite well) in comparison to the cynicism that she’s developed from her past (something that speaks to a world out to get her). certainly, a bunch of shitty things have happened to imogen in the time we’ve known her, but the same can be said for everyone in bell’s hells and pretty much everyone in exandria at this point in time. but, in a fight to save the aforementioned world, imogen’s focus was getting her mother back on her side. which, while very consistent with her character and a choice that i enjoy, is a very selfish one. the fun thing (to me, obviously) about imogen is that she has, more than most, an insight into the opinions of others and she also tends to seek others’ opinions out and genuinely engages with them and supports their choices. but she still very much acts towards what she thinks is best. it’s one reason i enjoy looking at the dynamic between her and orym as one between foils, as orym tends to be stalwart in his beliefs and doesn’t care too much for other’s opinions if he’s already sure of his own, but his actions tend to favour collaboration and protecting others.

as i mentioned earlier, imogen is a harder case to look at because she is still in the process of her story. however, the circlet is clearly influencing how she interacts with the world and in the wake of the solstice, the hostile reaction towards ruidusborn people has started to become more and more apparent and i’m interested to see what route that ends up leading imogen down and how it will influence her relationship with the rest of bell’s hells. (for better, i think, based on recent conversations, but if it's for worse i will be just as seated and excited).

all of this is just to say, please stop assuming that claiming a character has a trait you think is a bad one is criticism or a hate post. in light of the fact that i know that people who don’t believe this will continue to not believe this, i’ll encourage anyone confused about the ability of a character to be good and kind and selfish all at once to look to what the text itself says, specifically scanlan’s words to pelor when asked what vex means to him:

“Her name is Vex, and she is greedy and mean sometimes, and she can steal a lot. She’s a little bit not the greatest person, but her flaws highlight everything that is right about her, which is she does all these things to protect her friends and her family. She would give her life for any of us and for anyone who was truly in need. And she’s not perfect but she’s the most perfect of all of us.”

would you look at that... an ability to be a multitude of things, some in conflict with one another. i know that's hard for fandoms to believe, especially about female characters with agency, but i promise its true!

[lighthouseshepard]

ahhh been too afraid to pm you but hi from a silent mutual!!

writing prompt: john and yorick chat while arthur sleeps :))

HI HELLO!! im also always too afraid to pm everyone! thank you so much for sending this in and so sorry it took me a while! been a very busy few days (:

"Is he fully asleep, my king?"

John groans in annoyance among the relative darkness he'd been sulking within. Ever since Arthur's eyes shut once he fell into an exhausted, heavy slumber nearly thirty minutes prior, he'd been reluctant to try and exercise what little muscle control he possessed to squint them open again. Manipulating those muscles usually woke him regardless of how careful he was, leaving him with a splitting headache neither of them could explain. And at the moment, John couldn't bring himself to disturb the hard won sleep, as fitful as it was.

Yes, he's asleep, he hisses impatiently. Yorick's voice came from somewhere to their left, still attached by the chain threaded around their waist. Arthur's right arm twitches, fingers scrabbling for some imaginary thing, before falling still.

"Excellent," says the skull. "Our master requires much rest after that entire ordeal."

Our master? John snorts. The subtle stirrings of a cool night's breeze brush against the skin of his left hand, welcome after the wet, stale air of the cave. He's your master, not mine. 

"He is master to both of us!" Yorick exclaims, far too loudly. "Just as you are a king to him and myself. An inseparable pair, the dies irae, intertwined inexorably, dominion over one another and all else."

Jesus fucking Christ, John mutters, wishing he could wince. What does that even mean?

“Exactly as I said. Would you like me to repeat it?”

No, no. Can you quiet down? You're going to wake him.

“Certainly, my king.” His reply drops to a tone only slightly less loud than before. 

 And stop calling me that, he adds irritably. I'm not a king.

"You were once a king," Yorick states matter of fact, jaw clacking solidly as he speaks, a peculiarly troubling imitation of human life. "I do not see the issue with proclaiming this."

Once, he emphasizes. I'm not... I'm not that being any longer. I don't claim to be any kind of ruler anymore.

"Fair enough! What shall I call you if not a ruler, then?" 

John, he grinds out, the last droplet of water among the barren desert of his patience threatening to dissolve. John is fine.

"Alright," Yorick says, sounding pleased. "King John, how may I serve you?"

John heaves a haggard sigh. Unbelievable, he groans, and attempts to turn his attention away for a brief, blissful second to collect what surely remained of his sanity.

The thing that called itself vanguard spoke incessantly. Within the caves, climbing out into rain-damp earth and sky, walking to find shelter for nightfall in the hopes of catching at least a few hours sleep - it had not stopped talking the entire way. John had half a mind to untangle Yorick from Arthur's belt when he wasn't paying attention and throw him as far as his eyes could see. He'd never liked the thought of the vanguard anyway, had never wanted Arthur to take the head, keep the tooth. Something about a creature which existed simultaneously in the Dreamlands, the Dark World and their own reality never sat well with him. 

A hypocritical perspective, possibly, considering. Yet that similarity alone made him nervous, straddling a razor's cautious edge. He knew what he was capable of. Yorick remained a mystery.

They'd found an oak tree, its canopy stretching out far enough to provide cover from the last stray rain clouds rolling by, so long as Arthur kept curled at its trunk. He had fallen under almost immediately. One or two words exchanged between him and that damned skull, and he was out, John's name half formed on his lips in what sounded like the start of a question. It would likely be forgotten upon waking. Already Yorick was taking time meant for him.

Regardless, John knew him to be valuable, an asset they couldn't afford to get rid of. Certainly not now, with nothing to their names except the clothes Arthur wore and the bag he carried, no money, no food. If Yorick could be a wealth of information like he claimed, they'd have to put up with him a while longer. 

And then John could toss him into a lake.

In the stretch of thankful silence, Yorick apparently finally listening to his demands, he reaches over and inspects what remained of the wound. Dried blood coated Arthur's wrinkled shirt close to his heart, stiffening the fabric. Laying his palm flat and hesitantly across his chest, John takes solace in the flighty pulse tangibly felt there. Not too long ago there was none at all.

Arthur murmurs something wordless under his touch. John retracts his hand quickly, mildly guilty at having potentially disturbed him.

“You dislike when he sleeps,” Yorick says. Despite his position by Arthur's hip, rolled sideways where he'd come to rest as they laid down on dry grass, his voice still seemed to come from somewhere else around them. 

John waits a second for more to follow. Nothing comes - it's a statement, not an inquiry.

I don't dislike him sleeping, he huffs. He has to rest, obviously.

“Yet it troubles you regardless? The absence of him.”

I don't, John sputters out, struggling to keep his voice level. I'm not… lonely if that's what you're suggesting. Will you just shut up already? We're both going to wake him up at this rate.

“Our master is blind to the world in multiple senses of the word,” says Yorick. “Deep within a dream. He will not wake for some time.”

How do you know he's dreaming? he asks, perplexed. You can't… see into his mind, or-

“I know a great many things.” Another beat of silence, decorated by the cricket song in the surrounding brush shielding them from view. Again John waits for an explanation, growling agitatedly when none is forthcoming.

Such as? he prompts. What is he dreaming about? 

“I do not know the specifics,” clacks Yorick. “Yet I'm aware of the turmoil of his thoughts. There is a string of piano keys tied like wire around his ankles, a bathtub overflowing, a yellow sun-”

Okay, I get the specifics! John mutters. So a nightmare, clearly.

“Precisely! Excellent conclusion, King John.”

He was starting to immediately regret accidentally adding John to that title. Is there a way we can help him, then?

As if on cue, subconsciously aware he was being discussed, Arthur lets out a low, pained breath of air. Instinctively John’s hand jolts to attention, fingers delicately skimming the wound like he would find answers or assistance there. His legs were twitching, again his arm reaching and then recoiling from something John couldn’t see or understand. 

Nightmares were the only times he felt useful, whenever Arthur slept. Lingering in the corners of his mind, stuck between drifting into his own thoughts and keeping an active listen for anything that might hurt them while he was out - it wore him down in ways be couldn't explain. Yorick was right, even though John would rather revisit the Dark World than admit it. He did hate when Arthur had to sleep for the emptiness it left him with. Being able to wake him from a bad dream as soon as he caught the signs left him aware of a strange, disjointed sense of selfish pleasure. Even if it came at the risk of Arthur’s unhappiness, helping him out of a nightmare was one thing he could do consistently right.

“He will not wake until the nightmare is complete,” Yorick says nonchalantly. “He is too deep.”

Which will take how long?

“I know a great many things,” he says for the second time. “Yet this, I do not.”

Another whimper, softer than the last. John taps the side of his head, tugs at his shirt collar, goes so far as to flick his nose multiple times in a row, as hard as he could manage. Nothing caused him to stir. He could slap him, sure, but in this state he might break apart altogether.

Great. John heaves a sigh. So we just have to listen to this, then? Until he’s, what, done dreaming?

“That is correct. We could always pass the time discussing, my King.”

Discussing what? He snorts. The maggots we just crawled through? No thanks.

“Or,” Yorick adds, “you could always return your hand to his chest.”

What? 

“Your hand,” he repeats, jaw clicking knowingly. “It is the one thing which calms the dreams. I’ve witnessed it many times before.”

You didn’t even have eyes, then, John says sardonically. What could you possibly have witnessed?

“I have no physical eyes now, but I can see you and the master. I was aware then, and in a way, I am aware now.”

In the shrouding blackness of Arthur’s slumber, John imagines the two points of white light where the prince’s eyes once rested staring sideways up at them, awash in tendrils of green smoke. Was this how Arthur felt all the time, kept in the dark, left to wonder how everyone was looking at him? 

Carefully, he puts his hand back in the center of Arthur’s chest. Fingers splay out, one wooden pinky, the rest a thin collection of bruises and scars and broken, chipped nails. That fidgety pulse returns, a bird’s caught wing under his palm. The rhythm remains so for nearly a minute, stuttering and jumping to some melody John couldn’t follow along, and he’s about ready to give it up for nonsensical, stupid advice before he hears Arthur sigh.

It’s not the same troubled exhale as before. This one comes calmer, more even-keeled. As he focuses on his heartbeat he notices it begins to slow, calming bit by bit into a steady, softer pattern. Arthur’s movements drift to a halt. He shifts among the roots, mumbling something too quiet to comprehend, and eventually falls silent.

“He sleeps much like the dead in appearance,” Yorick states thoughtfully. “I believe the dream has come to a close, for now.”

Good, remarks John, at a loss for anything else to say. He wasn’t going to tell Yorick thank you; but it was tempting. The gentle rise and fall of Arthur’s breathing is a placid current, subtler than the new rain beginning to break through the clouds overhead in the night. He could plainly picture him, sprawled out uncomfortably, breeze touseling sweat damp hair, a downward curve in a mouth which always seemed to be frowning lately. Protected just enough beneath the oak, protected enough beneath John’s palm.

Well, at least one of us is content.

“I am much content, King John.”

That makes a total of two. Can you please shut the hell up now? 

“If that is what you wish," the skull says amicably. "Then I will."

It is, John bites. Just thirty minutes of fucking silence. Please.

Yorick says nothing. Relief settles over him as the break distends. Minutes pass until he finally accepts his desire had been properly observed. Crickets sing around them once more.

Sleep well, he whispers, hand firmly over heart. Perhaps we can wait a little longer to get rid of him.

[thatswhatsushesaid]

haha

it is SO rich for the jgy critical crowd to insist that it's the jgy stans who are being weird and defensive given /gestures @ all of this. like what's the opposite of defensive 🧐 because that's what this is.

as i said to someone else earlier tonight, i'm manifesting the capability to climb through these anons' phone screens so i can chase them through their houses with a nerf gun. every little foam projectile will include a relevant printed out page from the EXR translation. probably with highlights and notes in the margins. maybe some frowny faces for emphasis.

anyway this is why i'm insane

[zorosdimples]

knowing i should take a step back from tumblr for my own wellbeing vs. being emotionally attached to this app and the people on it

[0509-brainrot]

shake up that brain

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i think its weird that i have to make this disclaimer but the internet is crazy so wtvr,, anyway,,

if i say i dont like something, that doesnt mean "that thing is bad and nobody should post it.."

i swear literally every time i even mention that i dislike something, people will go "wow does that mean u fucking hate me cuz i post that thing? ur a fucking stupid bitch and all ur opinions r wrong" LIKE ?? er.. no. just because i say i dont like certain characterizations of certain characters (the saiki k fandom is CRAZY about this cuz i can state an opinion on literally any character and a group of people will still go 'well only we're allowed to post our opinions about them because we're always right!1!1!'), or certain ship tropes (mentioned my hatred of toxic yaoi maybe once or twice on here months ago and people STILL get mad at me as if i said toxic yaoi lovers r evil or something), or certain ships, or WHATEVER, does not mean that i HATE the people who are posting them or that i think they shouldnt post them at all, NO, im just posting about my personal tastes on my personal blog and it would be extremely weird and hypocritical if i decided that i was the ONLY person that was allowed to do that,,

i think the only reason people assume that is because there are a lot of other people on here who ARE like that, and a lot of people toe the line between posting that they dont like something and posting that they think everyone who likes that thing is stupid, annoying, and wrong,, so i guess all i can say is, sorry for whatever made you make these assumptions but they arent true about me so plz leave me alone ʘ‿ʘ ur doing the same thing to me that ur accusing me of but i didnt do it in the first place so ur just actively being a dick for no reason

[necromeowncy]

Happy patch day! Have a peeled Aedric! ….which is pretty much the same as regular Aedric lmao he just didn't wear makeup today, it's fine. He's going on an adventure, there was no time for eyeshadow!! Don't have time for Eorzean Decay when he has to go beat up some gods. 💅

[werewolfpdfs]

if reddit wasn’t too busy talking about how killing a guy they didn’t give a shit about until .5 seconds before his death makes moash irredeemable we could talk about how weird he is about the singers. but alas life is a prison and moash kicked everyone’s dogs. or something

[tariah23]

Man, I still remember participating in one of the many jjba zines that I took part in and how my piece was placed as the first page (for the second time) and how one of my mutuals/artists that I’ve always admired, hit me with the “oh… you’re on the front page again… 😅…” like man, that kind of killed me lmfao. I never got over it like man, what was that about.

[poems-of-a-lover]

who wants to go see a movie that we dont rlly care abt so we can sit in the back and make out JUST KIDDING ur gonna sit thru that movie and listen to me whisper jokes abt it the whole time and continuously ask u if u think im funny tricked u loser

[jesuistrestriste]

vent (nothing serious) ! im frazzled ..

i don’t know if i’m actually just overthinking everything, and i know it’s never that serious, but im starting to feel so trapped when im on this platform

i used to love writing, and i still usually do, but now i feel like there’s some unseen pressure to write that wasn’t there before. like i have to post daily and interact as much as possible with other users or im just not doing good enough. or not doing enough, period.

im sorry to my mutuals who i never interact with or rarely interact with anymore; it’s honestly gotten to the point where im so anxious(?) about feeling that pressure to post that ill just drop something on my blog, like a little drabble or an ask response, and then i’ll immediately close the app. i don’t (or rarely ever) scroll through my feed anymore bc i just feel like ive missed too much already to catch up, so why bother ? like im falling behind already in everything and missing updates so theres no point. im sorry about that </3 i want to interact with + support ur work as much as possible, pls know that

i also weirdly feel like there’s some sort of hidden inner circle within this community/fandom(? i don’t like using that word..) that i just am.. not part of. which is fine!! maybe it literally doesn’t even exist and i’m just putting pieces together that don’t fit, but i’m always like :( shoot. maybe i need to be more active on here to rlly connect w these other writers/users, but then im back in that weird stress cycle of ‘omg u need to post daily or else blah blah blah!’ like woah. chill. (but there are other times when i get this weird feeling that maybe im not welcome? i have genuinely no clue where it comes from)

i know it’s like,, ok, u feel bad on here, so just leave instead of complaining?? but i still have so much love for this community of writers and readers and i still am attached to my blog. maybe ill just dip for a bit. i don’t know. i’ve also just gotten so busy with stuff irl; planning for a big overseas vacation in october and a concert at the end of sept and whatnot

but yeah. maybe im just reading too much into everything and all of this is just a mess of my own brain ! that’s probably what it is but wow i feel so sad when im on here sometimes. maybe that’s just how i feel in general from time to time though and being a ‘writer’ on here only exemplifies those feelings. i don’t know ! ! !

i think it’s just really hard to feel like your work is ever good enough.

at the end of the day, i’m just trying to get my feelings out:,,) i think im just attributing too much of my own worth to how well i keep up with this blog. which is not. good. it really isn’t that big of a deal lmao

just venting

[melien]

Bonus Kyle!

He was my favourite sim in 2016🥺 I think about him from time to time.