#anyways she just messaged me randomly after months of barely any contact and said she was moving back to my city in the summer and wants to

[pop-punklouis]

-

[gwoongi]

acts of love

bts / reader, all members / reader genre: best friends au, fluff + crack rating: general words: 9.6k warnings: platonic relationships, smoking, so much fluff you might need to book an appointment with ur dentist for tomorrow morning ASAP a/n: if u want 2 be bts’ best friend, raise ur hand *thousands of hands raise*. this fic fuels my genuine need to be their bff. i saw this post last night + wrote this immediately. hope u love it like i do :D 

➸ As long as you’ve got a good group of friends, anything is possible. Thankfully, you’ve got the best group you could ever ask for.

(01) taking pics of ur friends without them asking u to bc they looked so pretty in that exact moment

“Well, at least the views not so bad. Honestly, I thought it would be a lot worse.”

Beside you, at the top of the bleachers that surround the large football pitch below, Taehyung huffs and kicks his feet up onto the empty row in front of him. It would be easy to just move rows, considering the game’s due to start in ten minutes time, and there’s plenty of empty seats closer. But, he’s bought these seats, and by the looks of things, Yoongi and Hoseok are already comfortable where they are, sharing a big bag of sticky popcorn between them. Casting a look to the right, you notice that Sana and Seunghee are making their way up, dressed in jerseys and caps, and you suddenly feel very out of place.

“Tell me why I came again?” you ask, not looking away from the pitch below. The grass is bright green, and every wandering body down on the pitch is just a small speck.

“Because,” Taehyung starts, unlocking his phone and checking his messages. You snoop- one missed text from Jeongguk and two off his Mom, which makes you smile. Taehyung’s always been a Mommy’s boy. “You love me, and you know that I worked my ass off for two whole months saving up for these tickets. And, since Jimin’s sick and couldn’t come, you decided to be a good friend and take his place.”

With a frown, you look back towards Taehyung. “I don’t know shit about football.”

“Cheer when we do,” Taehyung suggests honestly.

Yoongi perks up, patting your arm roughly. “Do what I do, and cheer for the team with the prettier uniform.”

“Don’t!” Taehyung hisses, grabbing you back. “The other team have a prettier uniform, but if you cheer for them on this side of the stadium, you’re going to get mobbed. Hey, Yoongi, don’t tell her that, she doesn’t know any better.”

“Just football,” Yoongi shrugs.

“Just football…” Taehyung scoffs and shrinks back down in his seat.

You laugh quietly, petting Taehyung’s leg with faux sympathy. As you move your body to glance around the stadium, strangely anticipating the start of the match, a flash out the corner of your eye makes you look over in Hoseok’s general direction. Hoseok holds his phone up, taking a photo, and then smiles as he checks it on the screen.

“Jung Hoseok, delete it now!” you gape, realising what he’s done. “Oh my God, I bet I look so ugly...you could have warned me.”

“Sorry,” he laughs sheepishly. He then shows you the screen, “you looked pretty! And it’s your first live match ever, we had to document it. Yoongi, look. Wow...I’m sending this to Jimin for proof that you’re having fun.”

“What if I’m not having fun?” you ask.

He glances up, “you are.”

Well. If he says so.

(02) randomly giving tiny gifts (a comic book that ur friend likes, a heart-shaped piece of paper with a sweet message on it)

“Can anybody here share the exact chemistry behind Elephant Toothpaste?”

Chemistry is the absolute bane of your life. It’s only been a few weeks, and you’re already regretting taking additional classes in it. Technically, it was Jimin’s fault you were here in the first place. If it wasn’t for the fact that Jimin was afraid of enrolling into classes alone and therefore had guilted you into taking advanced chemistry with him, then you wouldn’t be here. You sigh for the fourth time in the last ten minutes and shove your chin into the palm of your hand. The clock above Professor Han’s head seems to be still, taunting you with zero movements.

Can boredom kill you? You wonder about that, letting your mind wander as Professor Han continues to quiz the front two rows on the exact chemical formula of the affectionately named Elephant Toothpaste. You’re so close to finding the answer when you feel somebody poking your upper arm. The finger that pokes belongs to Jimin, and you angle your head to look at him with a questioning glare.

Jimin smiles, his hair falling into his face. Like you, he rolled out of bed this morning and tried his best to look semi-presentable; if you counted borderline pajama wear and a serious case of bed-head to be presentable and acceptable for a 9am lecture. Jimin says nothing, just smiles and pushes something towards you with two fingers. The sound of the paper sliding towards you brings your gaze down, and as you look away to stare at it, Jimin returns his attention to Professor Han. Bare in mind, his notebook is empty, save doodles of Yewon on the front row, occasionally losing focus and staring around the room for long periods of time.

What Jimin has pushed before you is a small little piece of paper, smoothly cut into a heart shape. Now the sound of scissors makes sense… It’s just scrap paper from the back of his notebook, decorated with tiny stars and circles, a pathetic hand drawn galaxy on the front like a book cover. You slowly pick it up, more interested in this than the lecture. You turn it over curiously, your heart thumping endearingly and a smile picking up on your face as you read what he’s written on the back.

you and me have some serious chemistry. love u

Jimin refuses to make eye contact again. He’ll say something along the lines of, “you’re taking it too seriously” when you’ll no doubt ask him about it later, but really, Jimin’s just a softie, with the sudden need to tell his friends that he loves them. You’re not complaining.

(03) handwritten letters with cute stickers

Something’s been left in your shared kitchen, something with your name on it and closed in an envelope with a small Gudetama sticker. You set your cup of tea to the side, sliding up onto a stool near the breakfast bar to read it. The front is in a bold font, in handwriting you don’t really recognise. Careful of the time and effort put into the appearance, you carefully open the envelope and take out the contents.

Y/N

Good morning. I hope you slept okay - when I came home last night after judo, you were actually passed out on the couch in the common room so I piggy backed you up to your room. Hehe, your room is so dirty though...I think I definitely tripped over a plug that connected your fairylights, so sorry if that doesn’t work anymore. Anyway. I left this morning and left you some nice tea and some tablets (Yoongi said that I should put them in your bathroom, so I literally just left them on your sink). I know you haven’t been having a fun time with midterms and you need to take care of yourself! If you get too sick and can’t do anything, then how will we eat?? You’re our uni mom!!! We need to live too!!!!! D:

I also rented out Harry Potter for later. I know you get really sad and lonely when you’re stressed out, and so we can watch it together when I’m home after my shift at work :D

Hehe, feel better <3 Just remember that Jeonggukie loves you!!!

Drink tea and stay warm :)

Lots of love, Jeongguk :D

The paper is signed with Jeongguk’s messy handwriting, like he ran out of time as he was writing it. The page is littered with tiny Gudetama stickers and the sight of it makes you smile. Along with other little notes Jeongguk’s left for you over the last few months, this one earns a spot on your cork board above your desk.

(04) remembering what ur friend likes or dislikes

You were so late.

Almost getting run over by a bus in the process, you sprint across the small road that separates your flat and the University central campus, missing a deep puddle as you step up off the road and onto the pavement. It pours, your hair soaked and makeup no doubt running and staining your cheeks. Holy fuck, you were so late.

Every Friday, without fail, Flat 6 (aka the large and slightly stinky flat you share with two of your best friends) host an annual movie night, inviting literally all of your extended friendship group which definitely is not allowed, but who cares? You noticed Namjoon’s car pulled up in the car park next door and curse again, knowing you’re the last one to arrive to a movie night you’re technically hosting.

You rush up the stairs, since the elevator is still down for maintenance, and burst into the flat with an announcing groan. From somewhere in the living room, Jeongguk looks up with happy surprise and jumps up off the couch, approaching the hall.

“Y/N! You made it.”

You wince, smiling as you hang up your coat to drip dry on the mat near the door. “Yep. I made it. To my own movie night. That I’m technically helping host.”

“No sweat,” Jeongguk shrugs. “It’s okay. Here, I’ll dump your bag in the closet. Get changed, I think Yoongi’s still preparing snacks, anyway.”

“Okay. Thanks, Jeonggukie.”

He gushes, smiling and raising his shoulders cutely. “It’s okay, Y/N.”

Jeongguk swiftly takes your bag from your clutches, faking the weight with the droop of his knees just to hear you laugh, and then he turns to shuffle down the hall to quite literally toss it into the shared storage closet. You’re not too worried; on days like today, in which you have one 1 hour seminar to attend at 5pm and nothing else, there’s nothing inside your bag worthy of being broken by Jeongguk throwing it to the ground. As he does this, you shudder out of your shoes and make your way to your bedroom, to change into something warm and comfortable for the movie.

The sound of laughter makes you hurry to change, one leg out of your damp and cold jeans whilst simultaneously fishing for some old jogging bottoms out of your bottom draw, a jumper from Yoongi that he thought he lost left for you to grab on your bed. What he doesn’t know and will find out in five minutes won’t hurt him. (Yoongi also doesn’t care, because he’s a whipped best friend who lets you do what you want, including steal clothes he actually needs and can’t really afford to replace. Oh well, sharing is caring!).

Your hair is still soaked, and you move towards the single bathroom squeezed between two bedrooms to ring it out in the sink. Once you’re done, and your hair is thrown up into a scrunchie-decorated pony, you pace back towards the kitchen where, rightly so, Yoongi stands with his back facing you, filling up a glass with Pepsi.

“I thought we threw that shit out,” you announce as you walk in. “You know this flat is Team Coca Cola, those are the rules.”

Yoongi sighs, not looking up. “Yeah, I know, but Namjoon is a monster.”

“He’s so annoying...why can’t he just admit that Coca Cola is better?” you sigh, moving towards Yoongi to see the small bowls of snacks he has ready to be taken into the living room. It’s full in there, people stuffed onto the sofas and the floor where a bed of blankets lies like a mattress.

Yoongi’s outdone himself; the bowls are neatly organised by colour and ingredient, and you smile. Yoongi was a lot of things, one of them a secret perfectionist. Even when it concerned bowls of snacks. God, you love to love him.

“Namjoon’s a man of unpopular opinions, I mean, he really thinks the live action of Attack on Titan is good, like, who actually thinks that?” Yoongi rants, and then he glances to the side towards you, is silent for a moment, and then asks, “is that my jumper?”

You look down at it with a smile. “Yep. It’s comfy.”

Yoongi hums, like he’s bored. “Whatever, looks better on you than it did on me. Who the fuck lied to me and told me dark green was my colour...?”

“Every colour is your colour,” you say, patting his back and reaching for the bowls. “Should I take these in?”

Yoongi then nods, humming again. “Yeah. Yellow bowl is for you, by the way.”

You look to it. “And why is that?”

“Cause I know you don’t like the barbeque flavour chips that are in the red bowl, but everyone else does, so I went out and got you the salty ones. Oh, and there’s a bar of Galaxy in the fridge. Don’t tell Jeongguk, cause he’ll get pissy about how I didn’t get him something.”

As Yoongi tells you this, your heart flutters. You had told him that when you first met, after he offered you some of his chips noticing you were the only person not eating.

“You remembered that?” you wonder, and Yoongi looks at you like you’ve lost your mind.

“I’m a good friend,” he states, as though it were obvious. “Don’t get it twisted, though. I only did it because I don’t want to hear you complaining about it all night.”

You’re sure that’s a lie, but if it makes him feel better, you’ll accept it. You’ll also ignore the embarrassed tinge of red on his cheeks.

(05) inside jokes

[15:16PM] jeongguk: alright fuckers 🔪😡 [15:16PM] jeongguk: who left the kitchen window open all damn night [15:17PM] jeongguk: there’s three spiders in the sink and it rained so the work surface is all wet [15:17PM] jeongguk: [1 Image Attached] not happy bois [15:23PM] jine: i dont even live with you why are you asking the gc this [15:24PM] jeongguk: yoongi has the flat gc muted and idk how else to yell at him [15:28PM] y/n: blame me,,,,i have failed u,,,,,,,im sowwy [15:29PM] jeongguk: hehe its ok ❣️💘💕💓 i’ll clean it up 🥰 [15:32PM] haseul: eye….. [15:39PM] jimin: YALL LMAOODIUGJFKDSLJ [15:39PM] jimin: guess what TF just happened in my maths class [15:41PM] jimin: i forgot that on one of my assignments me and y/n had drawn a camel in the library on the back and he saw and asked me 2 stay behind after class so he could have stern words with me or smthn…..anyway so i go to the front of the class at the end and he’s like “mr park what the hell is this camel doing here” [15:42PM] jimin: and i said sir thats not a camel [15:42PM] jimin: thats my WIFE [15:43PM] y/n: HA HA HA… [15:45PM] yoongi: IF YALL DONT STOP [15:47PM] taehyung: THIS IS THE THIRD TIME YOU’VE MADE THIS REFERENCE AND I DONT KNOW WHAT IT MEANS [15:47PM] taehyung: this inside joke stinks….someone explain to me please what this means 😭😭😭 [15:48PM] hoseok: i hate this damn gc

(06) long phone calls

[Incoming Facetime Call From: Seokjin 👪]

“Hey.”

“Hey. Y/N, are you sitting down because I have some major tea on Professor Kwon and Professor Kim and I’m not supposed to be saying anything and it’s killing me.”

“Oh shit.” Audio shuffles. “I’m lying down now, bitch. Tell me everything.”

“Okay. So…”

[Five Hours Later]

“I’m still in shock about Kwon and Kim.”

“Me too. What’s Kim gonna do, lie and say she had heat rash on her titties?”

“Hopefully she doesn’t get them out for people to see.”

“Literally. God, I hate how our life has resorted to teacher gossip. Are we those students?”

“Yup. Two students bitching about teachers at...like ...midnight?”

“Oh, shit, it’s midnight already??”

(07) facetiming while ur both doing something else (study dates like that are on another level of intimacy)

Jimin’s had the same cold for about two weeks now, and nobody knows what the hell’s up with it. He walks around his flat, according to Hoseok, wrapped up in a blanket and surrounded by a necklace of matted tissues. To be honest, it’s not as bad as he’s making it out to be, but he’s a guy, and so anything that involves a slight stomach pain and a blocked nose instantly translates to man flu, which is almost as bad as the plague.

That being said, Jimin’s set himself under “house arrest” and is therefore glued to his bed or desk chair, still managing to move his sore and aching joints to write a few words on his lab report. With the first round of finals creeping up, Jimin actually wants to go to the library, but, man, what with his man flu and everything, he just can’t seem to do it.

On the other hand, he has you to set the mood for him. After snagging a corner table in the library near the big windows, you make a barrier out of your bag and books to watch the sunset, Taehyung opposite using minimal space with his laptop and headphones, watching a documentary he’ll need to cite for his essay. Jeongguk naps next to you, having exhausted himself from his shift last night that ran into the early hours and Sana secretly paints her nails, blowing them dry as she takes a break from writing.

Once you’re settled and comfortable, you reluctantly peel away the slice of tape covering your webcam (because Black Mirror has forever scared you into thinking 4Chan are watching you and will hold your endless hours of Games2Girls dot com against you) and open up Facetime, ringing Jimin who waits patiently back home.

After a few rings, Jimin’s bright and tired face pops up on the screen and you both silently wave. Jimin has his mic muted, but yours is on, allowing the ambience of the library trick Jimin into believing he’s actually there. It’s not quite like an ordinary study date, but for now, it’ll do. He opens his textbook and starts to work, comfortable and happy now that he’s listening to his friends discuss work, like he’s there. He smiles, occasionally glancing up to see your face working or Jeongguk unintentionally leaning into frame. It’s comforting. He works well.

(08) cooking something for ur friend

“Merry Christmas, Tae. Oh, wait, I have something for you.”

Taehyung is hosting a Christmas party this year, in the apartment he shares with some of the girls in your group and Namjoon. His flat is lit up with lights, draining the electricity, the tree sparkling like diamonds in the front living room that looks out onto the Seoul city. The sound of Michael Bublé sings out festively and Taehyung leads you through to the kitchen, out of the loud madness of the party that’s getting into full swing. In one hand, you have a big bag of presents that both Jeongguk and Yoongi kindly left for you to haul all by yourself to Taehyung’s flat, and in the other, you balance a box across your arm, the corner sharp on your inner elbow.

“Cool. Your gift is under the tree,” Taehyung says.

“Oh, yeah. No, this is an early gift.”

“Just for me?” he asks.

You set down the box. “Well, you can share if you love us all a lot. But, it’s for you.”

Taehyung wastes no time in opening the box, a smile widening across his face as he reviews the contents. The box is stuffed full with cookies, baked big and crumbly for his tasty pleasures. They’re decorated too, because you love him so much and you know he liked them last year.

“Last year you ate nearly all of my batch, so I just decided to make you some of your own this year,” you tell him casually. It’s really no big deal, but Taehyung feels like he might actually cry because the thought is so sweet. You notice this, the glassiness of your eyes. “Ew, don’t cry.”

“I’m sorry, I’m touched!” he exclaims. Taehyung turns on his spot and wraps an arm around your neck, pulling you in for a hug. With your arms wrapped around his torso, Taehyung smiles with a thrilled sound and kisses the crown of your head. “Thanks, Y/N, you’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know.”

(09) sending texts when u randomly think abt them

[11:15AM] namjoon 👨🏼‍🚀: i stopped by at kyobo’s today and found a cards against humanity add on pack that was harry potter themed and i thought of u lol [11:15AM] namjoon 👨🏼‍🚀: i bought it for u btw 😊

(10) listening without judging

When the front door slams shut, you know that something’s wrong.

Having opted for sitting in the natural light of the living room to finish your lab report, the sound of the door echoes loudly throughout the empty house. It’s only you home, since Yoongi has volleyball practise until six this evening, which means it’s Jeongguk who’s home and apparently, not in a very good mood.

Jeongguk doesn’t realise you’re in the living room until he enters it, stopping suddenly in the doorway when he sees you cross-legged on the carpet near the coffee table. His eyes are red and swollen, his nose shiny from where he’s been crying and sniffling. The sight makes your stomach churn with an indescribable feeling, and you immediately rise to your feet.

“Jeongguk? What’s wrong- did something happen?” you ask him, not stepping forward until you know he’s okay. 

Jeongguk’s sensitive, the baby of the friendship group, and sometimes you forget to go easy on him. He sighs loudly and drops his backpack to the floor with a thud. His books curl inside loudly and he drags his feet across the floor to get to the couch. He moves as if he’s going to sit down and then stops, turning to you. His bottom lip curls like he’s about to cry, and then he opens his arms for a hug. You immediately move forward.

“Oh, Jeonggukkie,” you coo, stroking his hair and moving to sit on the sofa. Jeongguk comes down with you and you rest his head on top of your breasts, granting him this once in a lifetime opportunity and he doesn’t even register it. He just cries, loudly and comfortably, his arms around you as he sobs. “Oh, my baby. What happened?”

Jeongguk hiccups. “Do-Doesn’t matter. It’s dumb.”

“No, it’s not. Something hurt your feelings, and your feelings aren’t dumb,” you tell him seriously. Stroking the hair out of his face, you peer down at him. “Come on. Tell me, I won’t judge or tell anybody else. You can trust me.”

He sniffs loudly, but you don’t cringe. He blinks, tears falling and he embarrassingly wipes the tears away, nodding. “Okay.” And then the words come out like vomit.

“I just. You know how I liked Sooyoung, right? Well, we were talking- everyone knows we were, but still, we were talking, and I just really liked her and wanted her to like me. I did all this stuff for her, planned all these dates and got her flowers. I thought she liked flowers, girls like flowers. I know we joke that you’re one of the guys, but even you liked those flowers I got for you. So, I got her this pretty necklace with an S on it and was going to give it to her and so I went to her practise room. She does dance, you knew she does dance, right? Yeah. And so I went to the room and was in the room talking to her when the door opens and this guy comes in and he comes up to her and they kiss and I just. She. She told me she didn’t want to rush into dating and that she liked me, and then she suddenly started dating someone else and I’m just really hurt and confused. Did I do something wrong? Am I ugly? Am I annoying, I just...I don’t know what I did. I really liked her.”

You don’t say anything as he talks. You just listen intently, nodding against his head with a low hum and stroking his hair gently.

“I know it’s silly and stupid that I’m crying over a girl, it’s just…” He sighs. “It hurts.”

You sigh, too. “It’s not silly and stupid. What Sooyoung did was really shitty and it’s natural that it hurt your feelings. You did absolutely nothing wrong, though. The flowers were pretty, and you didn’t force her into anything, and you were so kind and patient. Any girl would be lucky enough to have you as a boyfriend. Sooyoung missed out! You’re so good, Jeongguk, one of the best guys I know. And you’re not ugly! That’s an insult to actual ugly people! If you’re ugly, then what are we?” He laughs shyly and you smile, “Huh? What are we?”

“Okay, sorry,” Jeongguk laughs, pressing his cheek into your torso with a wide smile. His hands loop together behind your back, meek and timid, and he sighs, this time less sadly. “Maybe I’m destined to be alone forever…”

“You’re being dramatic, now,” you sigh. “The right person is waiting for you. Just give it some time.”

Jeongguk thinks about that for a moment. “Wanna date me if I end up alone and single aged thirty?”

Loudly, you let out a laugh. “Yeah right. You know what, fine. Even though I know you won’t be, if we’re both single by thirty, I’ll marry you. How about that?”

Jeongguk hums. “Cool. Is it safe to have kids after thirty?”

You let out a wheeze, taken aback by Jeongguk’s question. “Woah there. I said I’d marry you, not birth your children! Besides, you’re acting like thirty is ancient! Lots of women have kids aged thirty.”

“Okay, sorry, I didn’t know! My Mom was only young.”

“I can’t believe you just asked me to have kids with you when we’re thirty…”

“Might as well make our marriage interesting,” Jeongguk shrugs.

You quite literally have nothing to say to that.

(11) making someone laugh so hard that their whole body shakes

“Ow- stop! I’m going to pee!”

You don’t think you’ve seen Seokjin laugh at a joke that’s not his own in quite some time. Tonight, across the table in the retro diner that’s been converted and opened in town, he has surprised you. The entire booth shakes with laughter, from all sides and directions. Seokjin leans up against the window, clutching his side with Jimin, Mina and Yoongi all stuffed next to him on the skinny one seater. Next to you, on either side, is Hoseok and Taehyung, with Jeongguk and Namjoon at the counter ordering more drinks.

“What?” you ask, laughing. You’re not laughing because it’s funny, but more so because you have no idea what it is you did to make him laugh so hard. “What did I say?”

Seokjin can hardly get his words out, choking halfway on air and having to reach for his drink which shakes in his hand. He sips and gasps for air: “Just-your...face!” Then he cracks up again, like it’s the literal joke of the century. You just don’t get it.

“What did I do?” you ask. “What’s so funny?”

Seokjin can’t breathe.

“Oh my God,” Yoongi comments, smiling with disbelief and covering his mouth as he laughs. Mina’s french fries are stone cold as she laughs and leans into Yoongi’s side for support.

“Fuck. Y/N, you’re so funny, I love you so much,” Seokjin cries. Cries, literally; there are tears pooling out of his eyes, and he wipes them, sighing loudly as he laughs a few more times.

You’re going to take the compliment happily, and move on. To this day, you never found out what was so funny…

(12) hanging out in furniture stores and testing every couch there is

“Take a picture of me so we can pretend this is our house for Instagram.”

You sigh, taking out your phone and snapping a photo of Taehyung, lounging his legs apart across a lime green sofa that looks like it’s been hauled out of a 70’s magazine. One of the best things about Taehyung is that he’s easy to please, eccentric and adventurous just like you. Taehyung could be taken to a junkyard for a first date and somehow he’d still find it fun. He didn’t watch Bottletop Bill and his best friend Corky and leave not taking some inspiration on what to do with scrap junk.

It slowly became a tradition to go to the weirdest places with Taehyung as your date. On weekends or free weekdays you shared, you’d text Taehyung and get him to come with you to somewhere new. On today’s list, IKEA. It’s not totally crazy, or weird or wacky, just something you don’t think you’d do with Yoongi for fun. Taehyung loved the idea.

Taehyung’s making it a mission to sit on every bit of furniture he can find. As he takes a ride up the elevator to the first and main starting point of IKEA, he immediately notices the display couches and stares at you excitedly: “Let’s pretend we’re about to buy our dream house and test all the couches.”

Your eyes light up. “Yes! We can pretend we’re on a TV show reviewing them.”

You don’t think you’ve ever seen Taehyung more excited. “Oh my God, yes!” Then he grabs your hand, tugging you towards a cream themed living display. “Let’s go, wifey! Time to review.”

(You very nearly leave IKEA with a bright red sofa that looks like it’s been handmade and the bottom pillows are patterned with tiny cherries. Sadly, you’re both broke and you don’t have a car to take it home.)

((Taehyung’s devastated.))

(13) deep conversations when it's deep in the night

Sometimes, Yoongi stays awake until the early hours in the living room and kitchen. On days where you can’t sleep, you can hear him pacing around, softly grunting as he walks, something he does without really realising and something you love about him. On occasion, you join him. Like tonight, for example.

Yoongi’s curled up on the kitchen counter when you wake up and leave your room to find him. He sits with his back up against the cupboards, the kitchen window open with a cigarette out the window. Catching your gaze wide-eyed, he moves as if he’s going to put the cigarette out but you stop him.

“I told Jeongguk I’d stop,” Yoongi explains. Inside, he’s just grateful you’re not Jeongguk tonight. The cigarette lets off steam. He doesn’t smoke as often as he used to, just when he needs to. Yoongi looks away from the window as you pick yourself up to sit on the cupboards parallel to him. A bottle of wine is out, and you quietly take off the top and take a large swig.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you tell him honestly. “It’s okay. I won’t tell Jeongguk, too. There’s a new air freshener in the cupboard under the sink. Use that when you’re done.”

Yoongi nods. “Yeah. Thanks, Y/N.”

“Why’d you go back to smoking anyway? Didn’t you tell Jeongguk that you were stopping because you didn’t want to die, or something?” It’s a joke, Yoongi snorts in reply.

“You know how he feels about it. I do too, and I guess I just felt bad about it. It was bad enough for him growing up and at home, and he told me about his brothers asthma attacks because of it and how he almost died, and how his parents smoked religiously and it made them act a certain way.” Yoongi sucks in his breath, like he’s realising what lighting the cigarette means. “It’s not weed. Not what his parents did, but. Still, fuck.” He decides to put it out.

For a while, you don’t say anything to Yoongi. Staring at him is telling enough, and you watch as Yoongi regrets what he’s done so much that he pales, his eyes watering.

“I don’t want to let him down,” Yoongi admits truthfully. “He’s like my little brother. I don’t wanna hurt him, fuck.”

He rocks his head back, sighing into the night. Down below the window, over the small little cliffside that he can see from his window that looks down onto the freeway behind the flat, he watches the lines of traffic whiz by, like long white lights, the honks like ASMR in his ears.

“If you’re going back to bed, can you go in my room and take the rest of my cigs out? Don’t wanna feel tempted by them. Toss them out or something, will you?”

You nod immediately, taking another drink of wine. This gulp stings. “Course. Yeah, I’m gonna go now actually.” You hop down off the counter, handing the bottle and placing it next to Yoongi. “Don’t stay up too late, mkay?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

You shrug in reply, Yoongi frowns. As you walk towards the doorway that separates the kitchen and the hall, you turn around and look back at Yoongi, calling his name. Yoongi looks over and raises his eyebrows expectantly.

“Love you,” you tell him. A smile follows, and Yoongi blinks tiredly.

“I love you too. Goodnight, Y/N.”

He watches as you disappear into the darkness of the hallway and then faces the nighttime again. The smell of cigarettes lingers, and his stomach churns. Yoongi reaches for the air freshener you mentioned and sprays it generously, sniffing and then turning off the lights to the kitchen. Jeongguk will wake up and complain about the window being open, and might even notice the ash on the windowsill, but, like you, he still loves his big brother regardless.

(14) holding hands while jaywalking so that u Both get hit by a car

“Now!”

A squeal leaves your mouth as Jeongguk grabs a hold of your hand and literally pulls you across the road. A car that speeds down the road presses the horn loud enough to turn a few heads and Jeongguk grins boyishly, raising his hand as if to say sorry even though you’re far enough away to not get hit. Jeongguk’s motto for jaywalking is We Hold Hands, Because We Go Together Or We Don’t Go Down At All, or something. You know he stole half of it from an All Time Low song, but it works, and the song slaps.

From across the road, on the side you and Jeongguk are running towards, Hoseok gapes at the both of you and his eyes bulge out of his head.

“You two have a death wish!” he yells.

“But we lived, bitch!” Jeongguk replies, raising a gang sign to which Hoseok pulls a face at.

“I literally cannot stand you,” Hoseok seethes, walking away even though he’s supposed to be going out for dinner with the both of you. You and Jeongguk share a look that ends in a burst of giggles and run after Hoseok, capturing each of his arms with your own. He complains all the way to the restaurant, even though he loves it.

(15) randomly buying a flower for someone

“Delivery.”

Namjoon’s voice lifts your head. He stands behind the reception desk of your flat complex with a small bunch of flowers in his left hand. If he didn’t already know that you were working your two hour shift today, then he’s lucky he caught you. The sight of a bouquet of wildflowers makes your heart soar curiously.

“For someone special?” you wonder. Maybe he’s delivering to someone in the complex. Namjoon’s a sweetie like that.

Namjoon blinks. “Yeah. You.” He holds the bouquet outwards, with a bright smile. “They were for sale outside as I got off my subway. Thought of you, again. Happy early birthday.”

“My birthday’s in, like, seven months,” you say.

“That’s why it’s for your early birthday,” Namjoon replies.

You don’t know what to say. “They’re so pretty, thank you. Hey - can you go up to my flat and put them in a vase? I’ve still got an hour here, they might dry out if they’re kept down here.”

Namjoon nods instantly. “Sure. Gimme your key?” You slide the key across the desk towards Namjoon and he takes it swiftly. “Cool. Glad you like them. Enjoy your shift, Y/N.”

“Unlikely,” you groan. “Thanks, Joonie!”

He smiles as he reaches the door, sticking his tongue out to you as he prepares to climb the stairs. That elevator needs fixing urgently, and all you can think about is how much you love your friends.

(16) letting ur friends taste ur food and also tasting theirs to the point where u basically ate a fair amount off of each plate on the table

“What do you mean you’ve never tried a steak before?” Yoongi sighs so loudly that it turns a few heads. “Okay. Take a bite, it’s called charity and I’m generous. Come on.”

Yoongi even cuts you a slice and leans over the table to let you taste it. Beside you, Namjoon cringes when you close your teeth around the fork and pull the steak off, taking several bites and widening your eyes with wonder a Yoongi. You have just unlocked a taste sensation!

“Like it?” Yoongi asks.

“Mhm! It’s so easy to eat,” you observe. You look at Namjoon, “try his.”

Yoongi sighs. He willingly shares his food out. You glance down at your own meal, a pretty pasta dish that Jeongguk looks at from next to Yoongi.

“What is that? It looks good,” Jeongguk asks.

“Spaghetti Al Pomodoro,” you quote from the menu. Jeongguk laughs, because who goes to a restaurant and orders spaghetti? “Stop, I don’t know the menu, I played it safe!”

“Lemme try,” Jeongguk invites himself to try the taste, twirling his fork around the pasta and sucking it up like a scene in Lady and the Tramp. This sets off a sequence around the table, something you can’t help but snigger at. Namjoon lets you try some of his curry and Yoongi tries Jeongguk’s burger. By the time everybody on the table has tried everybody elses meals, you finally look back at your plate and notice that literally half of the meal’s now gone. Yoongi has about one bite of steak left, and Jeongguk could easily finish his burger in one bite.

“I hope everyone enjoyed my meal,” Yoongi says sarcastically, and he angrily chews his last piece of steak.

Namjoon looks up with a bright smile. “Yeah I did. Thanks!”

(17) "give me that I'll carry it for u"

Sometimes, Hoseok stops by at the reception to help out, especially during finals or midterms when you could really use those two years of monitoring an empty email inbox to study. Today, one of the newer residents, Somi, is on the desk and is playing Club Penguin on the computer, and you’re shoved into the back storage room with Hoseok, filing everybody’s mail and parcels.

It’s so messy in here, and looks like it hasn’t had a good clean out since it was first built, which might sound ridiculous, but have you seen all of this dust?

“Can you guys take out the trash?” One of the other workers, Siwon, pokes his head into the back room.

“You only just asked us to do this, though,” Hoseok points out with his hands on his hips.

Siwon shrugs, “Okay. And? Get to work.”

He turns and leaves as Hoseok gives him the middle finger, groaning as he arches his back to relieve pain that’s developed from being hunched over for too long. The trash bags are enormous and bulky with weight, shoved into a single room that absolutely honks. Hoseok grimaces as he opens the door and drags some bags out, deliberately ignoring a suspicious juice leaving a trail behind one of the ones he’s just brought into the back room.

“That literally stinks,” you complain.

“Yep.”

While Hoseok continues to haul bags out of the trash room, you take it upon yourself to drag the bags out to the back, towards the giant tip that’s collected by the bin-men the following day. After two or three trips, Hoseok steps out of the room and notices you struggling to pick a big bag up off the floor over your shoulder, like Santa’s sack.

“Give me that, I’ll carry it for you,” Hoseok offers, already stepping forward.

“No!” you protest stubbornly. “I’ve got this.”

“You’re so full of bullshit,” Hoseok howls. He ignores you and snatches the bag out of your hands. You’ll never admit it, but it feels good to not have the twisty material burning your fingers. “Sit down. You’ve worked hard.”

“Don’t patronise me,” you scold.

He giggles, “sorry. You’re too cute. Keep filling in those forms, kill two birds with one stone?”

You wait until Hoseok’s out of the room to cradle your fingers. Fucking hell, that hurts.

(18) helping ur friend decide what to wear while also reminding them that they look amazing no matter what

“You’re not going to the Met Gala, Jimin. Just wear jeans, my dude.”

“No. No, no, ignore him.” You throw a glare in Jeongguk’s direction and shift on your stomach, watching Jimin frantically search through his wardrobe. “This is important. This is serious. He’s going to see a potential employer, Jeongguk.”

“Yeah,” Jimin taunts, “so go be jobless and broke somewhere else.”

Jeongguk snorts, “I have a job, though…”

“Okay, get out of my room. Y/N, help me.”

“You looked good in the last four outfits,” you say to him honestly. “What’s wrong with this one, hm?”

You stand up, moving to one of the outfits laid out on the floor. It’s a pretty combination of clothes; a patterned white shirt that’s both formal and casual, with black trousers and brown shoes.

“I don’t like the shoes,” Jimin mumbles, continuing to search.

“Okay...Why don’t we just…” You crouch, moving a pair of black shoes from outfit number three to outfit number two. Now the shoes are black, and the outfit looks great. “Do that? What do you think?”

Jimin looks down at it, biting his bottom lip. “Is it good?”

“Yeah, totally,” you nod with enthusiasm. “It shows your personality whilst also remaining professional. And you looked super handsome in it.” Jimin faces you with a shy smile, “Trust me. It’s the one.”

It takes some reluctance and convincing, but Jimin eventually settles on outfit number two. All it took was some convincing and abuse of his praise kink.

(And he got the job.)

(19) being involved in every bad hair decision (dyeing ur friend's hair grey in between playing with their switch)

Three games into Mario Kart, you realise that you urgently need to email Nintendo and play I’m-Karen-Let-Me-See-The-Manager. Nintendo Switches are so dangerously addictive that Seokjin has you watching him play as grey hair dye bleaches his scalp. You can’t help but watch as he wins race after race, a streak of ten to beat tonight with King Boo as his racer every damn time.

“Fuck, your hair!” You must have said that so many times that Seokjin’s bound to get sick of it. He glances up at his reflection and eyes the sight on his head.

“Looks fine,” he shrugs.

“Let me remind you that it looks fine because the colour’s okay at the front. It looks kinda...patchy at the back.” You reach for the dye, “We’re low. Seokjin, we’re in trouble.”

He shrugs again. “Whatever. We can make a new trend.”

“Hell no. If it looks shit, I’m paying for you to get it done professionally ...which, you should have just done in the first place. I'm not a hairdresser!”

“And thank fuck for that!” Jimin steps into the living room and laughs nervously. “That looks hideous!”

This time, Seokjin’s eyes raise icily.

“It’s not that bad…” you mutter. “It’s okay. I’ll fix it.”

“The only way to save your hair is to just sacrifice it all,” Jimin sighs. “You know what, I’ve got a razor in my cupboard, let’s bring forward bald Seokjin.”

“I’ll take the patchy scalp,” Seokjin threatens.

“It’s really not that bad,” you pout quietly, attempting to fix the mess at the back of his head.

Okay - you’re lying. It’s awful. It’s a total disaster. But when Seokjin gets a good look at it, and he does take a good long look, he just shrugs and puts down the mirror.

“It’s a trend,” he decides. Mario Kart resumes and you’re rendered absolutely speechless.

(20) paying attention

When forced into a group of friends outside of your own, you always had a tendency to stand out in the worst ways possible. It’s not as if you stood out for being different, or funny or pretty. No; outside of your close circle of friends, you were the obvious outsider. You stuck out like an imposter, like a red flower amongst white ones.

This get together hosted by one of Jeongguk’s other friends, Joshua, takes place in his crazy expensive lake house in the countryside, owned by his parents and left to him when he turned eighteen. It’s remarkable that you got invited, to be honest. But, when Jeongguk’s your best friend, you get vouched for, granted permission to stay for the weekend in the one of many rooms, with the exception of sharing a room with two other guys. Jeongguk doesn’t mind sharing a bed for the weekend with Jimin, as long as you’re comfortable in your own.

And you’re not blind - it’s not hard to figure out why a big group of girls who had managed invitations were clinging to your circle of friends. You had lucked out in a way that ensured your entire group were visuals, everybody stunning in their own unique way. Joshua and his friends are here too, obviously, but their eyes are only on a certain segment of the group. From this angle, one of the girls who made her way over to the sofas sits with her back in your general direction, and it sort of feels like primary school all over again where you were the odd one out.

You try not to let it bother you, though. As the guys play polite and laugh when needed and talk casually, something slips up in conversation: “Well, actually-” One of the girls is talking, blinking repetitively in Namjoon’s direction with a sweet smile, “I think I have more guy friends than girls. Girls are so hard to talk to sometimes.”

“Right?” one of the others says with a sigh. “I wish I had more male friends. I want to move in with some in the future.”

You inhale. This is a good conversation to jump into. “Same,” you say. The girl in front of you turns around slightly, perhaps only just remembering that you were there in the first place. “I’ve been friends with these guys forever now, and living with them is so…” You notice after a short ramble that the girls turned back around, and she’s not even listening. You trail off, looking bored, “who am I even talking to?”

But from across the coffee table on the other couch, Yoongi furrows his brows and sets his glass down. “Y/N’s right,” he announces, and you look up at the same time as the other girls. Like they’re confused, they look at the group and then back at you, as if wondering the connection. “You know, guys are always told being friends with girls is impossible, but Y/N’s the glue that keeps us together.”

Jeongguk nods, “Mhm, exactly! You know, they said that it would be hard being friends with girls because you’d catch feelings, but Y/N’s so repulsive that it’s not even that hard...”

You glare at him, “Ha-ha. Very funny.”

“Trust me,” Chaeyoung pops up, having been sat silently in between Taehyung and Mark for the past twenty six minutes, “it’s not all that.” The girls look at her, “Men are disgusting. I don’t know how Y/N does it. These guys are the repulsive ones...I was in their flat for five minutes and I think I caught three diseases.”

“Hey, don’t drag my apartment into this,” you pout. Yoongi shakes his head with a smile and watches you, happy that the frown that was once on your features had disappeared into a smile. Hey, in a weird way, this was a good conversation to jump into! 

The girls around you share glances, as though they’ve just clocked on to how important you are to these guys and how ignoring you won’t make them like them more, and eventually, you’re included in the conversation. You make a mental reminder to thank the fuck out of Yoongi for paying attention to you, even when you’re silently in the background.

(21) being aware and understanding of someone's financial situation ("dw I'll pay for u")

“We all need matching ones. Look, one each!”

Jeongguk excitedly crouches in front of one of the display cases, marvelling at the sight of tiny little charms on foam boxes, smiling up at you all. It makes you weak seeing how childlike Jeongguk actually is, how he gets excited over shiny things like a little magpie. Today is one of those rare afternoons where you’re all miraculously free, and it had been Namjoon’s idea to go out somewhere and hang out. Seoul is filled with beautiful and secret places to explore like a tourist and he takes up the opportunity.

This shop is dinky and in a weird place between an ice-cream shop and a fish market, probably scammy and has definitely seen better days. But Namjoon likes it, and Yoongi vouches for it because he’s been here before with Namjoon when they brought a watch for Jimin. Okay, yes, it was a designer watch, but it was way cheaper from this shop and, wait, who cares if it’s fake? Nobody noticed until now.

You stand behind Jeongguk, peering down at the charms. They’re all so cute and cartoon-like, each charm you view immediately reminding you of another friend. For Jeongguk, the rabbit. Taehyung could have the paintbrush or camera, Jimin definitely could have the apple because of the fact that his new favourite thing to say is An Apple A Day Keeps The Demons Away. It makes no sense, but he learns to roll with it.

“They’re cute,” Hoseok comments, smiling widely.

“They should be cute, for thirty dollars a charm!” you gape, pointing out the price. “I thought this was a shop that sold things cheaper?!”

“They’re usually around sixty,” Namjoon shrugs.

“For why?” you exclaim.

Nobody hears that, or if they do, they ignore it. With a sigh, you turn away from the case and start looking at something else. Thirty dollars for a small charm is insane, and you don’t have that kind of money. As Taehyung and Jeongguk start picking charms for everybody, your heart rate quickens. 

How can you tell them that you don’t want a charm because you can’t afford a charm without disappointing them and sounding like you’re asking one of them to buy you one? In your panic, Seokjin worms his way up behind you and rests his arm up on your head like an arm-rest.

“Have you picked a charm?” he asks, and you look away instantly. “Hey,” he says, noticing that, “what’s up, buttercup?”

You sigh reluctantly. “I can’t afford to get one of those…”

Seokjin blinks and frowns slightly. “Oh. Well, that’s okay. I’ll pay for you.”

“No way!” you hiss at him, poking a finger into his chest. “Kim Seokjin, don’t you dare-!”

“Hey, I owe you, it’s cool,” Seokjin assures you.

“Owing me because I paid for your McDonalds is not the same as spending thirty dollars on a tiny charm.”

“They’re friendship charms,” he explains. “It’s symbolic for our friendship. Look, stay silent and pretty and let me get you something nice. Please?”

In this one instance, Seokjin doesn’t take no for an answer and invites himself into the small huddle of guys around the charms and picks one out for you. Seokjin picks you a love heart, because he knows that no matter what, there’s a love between the guys and you that nothing can pull apart.

(22) looking stupid in public together (dancing in stores to overplayed pop songs)

You hear it at the same time as Jeongguk.

One thing you don’t mind that much about Korea is that the sound of random K-POP groups follows you around everywhere you go. You actually kind of like it, because the songs are catchy enough and Jimin and Hoseok like it for the dances. But, my God, if you have to hear Momoland’s Bboom Bboom one more time, you might explode.

Over the hum of the refrigerators in the small GS25, where you and Jeongguk are examining the surprisingly large collection of flavoured milks, you hear those guitar strums and just as the horns roll in, you and Jeongguk share a glance and immediately do The Thing.

The Thing is recreating the entire dance routine to the song, which you had both decided to learn when you were bored and procrastinating during midterms. Everybody else in your friendship group deems it the single most embarrassing thing that you and Jeongguk do in public next to jaywalking, and maybe you can see why. The chorus rolls by and you’re both shimmying, pointing finger hearts to each other, and it’s rolling to an end when one of the cashiers turns the corner with a big tray of iced coffee in her arms.

She pauses and so do the both of you, in an intense stare off until she cowers and scurries to put down the tray and carefully shelf the drinks. Jeongguk looks at you with the urge to laugh and picks a random milk off the shelf, urging you out of the aisle to pay. When you’re outside and free from the judgement of the cashier, Jeongguk laughs on the floor for about five straight minutes.

(23) looking stupid in public together (singing loudly in ur car)

“JUST GO AHEAD AND HATE ON ME AND RUN YOUR MOUTH!”

“So everyone can hear!”

“HIT ME WITH THE WORST YOU GOT AND KNOCK ME DOWN!”

“Oh, baby, I don’t care.”

“KEEP IT UP AND SOON ENOUGH, YOU’LL FIGURE OUT!”

Both of your voices: “You wanna be, you wanna be, A LOSER LIKE ME!”

In the backseat, Yoongi shrinks further down until his bum is hanging off the chair, in the footwell where his knees are. “Please kill me.”

(24) hugging people when u say hi and goodbye to them

Hoseok is one of the best friends you could ever ask for. One, he’s friendly. Two, he’s funny. Three, he’s cute. Four, he hugs you when you arrive somewhere and again when you leave, and you absolutely love it.

“Y/N, hi!” His voice is the first to call out to you when you walk into the Open Day fair at your Uni. You look awful, overslept and still half asleep, but he comes towards you with a smile and engulfs you in a hug. “You look cute. Sleep well?”

That’s not to say the other guys don’t hug you, because they definitely do. But, Hoseok’s always the first.

(25) being there for someone even if u can't help them

“Go ahead. Laugh at me like everybody else.”

Jimin and Jeongguk are the ones who are unfortunately tasked with dealing with a tragically grieving Y/N. It’s unfortunate to you, but they don’t mind one bit. The last thing they expected to see when they came back to Jeongguk’s apartment to watch more episodes of Mindhunter on Jeongguk’s TV, was you curled up on the window seat with red eyes and a runny nose.

“Why would we laugh at you, baby?” Jeongguk asks, rubbing your back. He’s sat next to you and Jimin is by your feet, rubbing them and your legs with his soft hands.

You sniff uglily, but none of them say anything. “Cause. Cause it’s just a fish, I guess.”

“It was still your pet,” Jimin points out sadly. “Susan was a great fish.”

You sniff again, crying some more. “I just feel like a bad owner. Maybe the bowl wasn’t big enough, and maybe I didn’t feed her enough...I don’t want her to have died because of me.”

“Hey, now,” Jeongguk assures softly, “I’m sure she died peacefully. You were the best fish Mom ever. Susan’s in a better place now.” He glances over at Jimin nervously, “Like, fish heaven?”

For a moment you don’t say anything, and Jeongguk thinks maybe that was too much. But then you turn to him with a hopeful expression. “You really think so?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jeongguk replies.

“Susan’s still with you in your heart,” Jimin adds. He’s not too great at the comforting thing. “You were so good to her. If I was a fish, I’d want you to be my Mom.”

Jeongguk looks at Jimin with a deadpan face. Maybe that was too much, but you smiled, and that’s something to Jimin. Even if he doesn’t know what to do to help, the least he can do is be there for you.

(26) "this reminded me of u"

[03:15AM] namjoon: hehe [03:15AM] namjoon: this reminded me of u ^__^ [03:16AM] namjoon: [1 Image Attached]

[03:20AM] y/n: there r no words….

(27) allowing people to be human, with everything that this entails

University truly has been the best years of your life. There’ve been rough spots financially and mentally, but your key support system has been the circle of friends you’re proud to love and live with. Even when they’re a little bit chaotic, sometimes really annoying and loud and tiring, you still love them, and every quality that comes along with loving them.

[nancydrew-onthecase]

Realizations

ao3 | 2,078 words

Nancy pulled into the driveway of the Drew residence. She had just dropped Bess and George off after an afternoon of lunch and shopping. It had been Bess's idea to shop and of course George had complained the whole time. But even with Bess's endless chatter and the muttering from George, the afternoon had been nice. Nancy had just gotten back from back to back cases so it had been good to relax for a bit.

She made her way inside, dropped her messenger bag on the couch and then continued into the kitchen going through the mail she had taken from the mailbox as she walked. Bill, advertisement, bill, letter addressed to carson drew, another advertisement. She tossed the mail onto the counter and started to make herself a snack. As she was pouring milk for the cookies she had grabbed, her text message alert went off. She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and looked at the screen.

1 new text message

She opened her phone to see that the message was from Joe Hardy.

Hey Nance! I heard you were done with your cases! How were they?

Smiling to herself she took her milk and cookies with her over to the couch. Placing her snack in front of her on the coffee table she sat down, pulled her legs up under her and began to text Joe back.

Hi joe! Ya! They were kind of exhausting tbh so I’m glad to be home. What are you up to?!

Nancy bit her bottom lip as she contemplated asking the question she really wanted to ask. How was frank. She hadn’t talked to him since they had ended things. 

It wasn’t like their break up had been terrible. About three months in they realized that the two of them were better suited for friendship. They were too much alike. But she had the feeling that Frank took the realization harder than she had. Everyone knew that Frank had always pined for Nancy long before they ever tried a relationship; even Nancy knew that. She just hoped that at some point soon they could go back to being good friends. For now, she had decided to give him some space. Between her recent case load and the fact that she didn't exactly live in the same town as Frank it had been relatively easy. She had been wondering if she should reach out to him in some way though.

She looked back at the screen of her phone and saw that Joe had responded.

Well, I'm actually in River Heights! And I thought it could be fun to meet up for some coffee?

What was Joe doing in River Heights? It wasn’t like he had a habit of randomly showing up. Nancy wondered if Frank was with him. But no. He had said “I'm” in River Heights, not we. So he must be alone.

You are??? What a nice surprise! Is Frank with you? What brings you here?

Maybe he was working on a case and needed some help? He would have said that in his text though. Joe got way too excited for cases to leave that detail out. 

No he isn’t. It’s just me. You want to meet me at the coffee shop? I’m there right now!

At this point curiosity was taking over and Nancy wanted to find out what was going on. Plus Joe was always fun to hang out with.

Ya! I’m headed there right now. See you soon!

Nancy quickly put her glass of milk in the fridge and the cookies in a bag to save for later. Then  grabbed her keys and headed to her car.

***

Joe sat at a little table by the window of the small coffee shop looking down at his mug. His coffee had grown cold. He had lost track of how long he’d been there. Maybe an hour? All he knew was that after his conversation with Frank last night he couldn’t think of anything else other than seeing Nancy. He didn’t even know how this would go or what he would say. He was a jittery ball of nerves. Flashes of his conversation with frank coming up in his mind every few minutes or so. 

"Joe you like Nancy don't you. 

"Yeah of course I do! She's great. What kind of question is that anyway?"

"No, I mean you like like her" 

Joe stared blankly at Frank. "What do you mean?"

"Joe," Frank scoffed, "I've seen the way you look at her when you think I'm not looking. Like she can do no wrong and like she is the most perfect girl in the world. But also, you never really shut up about her."

Joe sat there in stunned silence. He thought about all the times they had spent together with Nancy. They were just fun times! With a good friend! What was frank talking about. 

He rolled his eyes "Whatever that's just- I’m not- 

But suddenly he was thinking back to all those times he felt subtle twinges of jealousy every time Frank and Nancy seemed to have a connection and he felt like a third wheel. It had been even worse when Frank and Nancy were actually dating. Or how he felt excited every time they joined forces with Nancy and he got to see her again. He had always passed these feelings off as nothing and would tell himself he was only excited because Nancy was a great friend or he was only jealous because he didn’t like feeling left out. With a jolt he realized Frank was right. He had been harboring some feelings for Nancy. How could he have been so clueless?

"I- I guess you're right. I- I haven't really given it much thought but now that you say it I- w-what do I do?"

He looked up at Frank with wide eyes. He suddenly felt nervous. When was he ever nervous? About a girl? 

Frank sat for a moment, his expression thoughtful.

"I think you should tell her. You'll always wonder if you don't. At least find out if she could feel the same." 

Joe sat anxiously on the edge of his bed, while Frank sat across the room staring back at Joe letting his words sink in.

"At least one of us should have a chance with her.”

There was a hint of a small smile on Frank's face but Joe knew he was still hurting and could hear the ache in his voice.  After all, it had only been a month since Frank and Nancy had ended things. Joe realized how hard this must be for him. 

"Are you sure you're alright with that? It hasn't been that long since-" 

Frank gave him a small smile.

"Ya Joe, I'm fine with it"

Joe was startled back to reality by the scraping of chairs as the neighboring table prepared to leave. He was suddenly aware again of the butterflies that had been ever present in his stomach since his conversation with Frank. They had made it impossible for him to even eat, which he found annoying. If there was one thing in this world Joe loved, it was eating. He looked around at the locals chattering and sipping at their own coffee mugs. They all seemed so at ease and relaxed. What he would give to be in anyone else's shoes right now.

"It isn't like me to be so nervous about a girl" Joe muttered to himself.

The thing was, Nancy wasn't just some girl to Joe. She never had been, not really. From the moment they first met as teens he knew there was something different about her. Now in their mid twenties she had grown to be something really special to him. She was Nance. One of his best friends. The girl who could solve any code, cipher, riddle or puzzle thrown at her. The girl who fought for what was important to her. The greatest amateur detective and person he'd ever met. And one of his best friends.

Joe didn't know if he could do it. If he told her how he felt and she didn't reciprocate, or worse just thought of him as a brother, his heart would shatter, he was sure of it. Snap out of it. It’s going to be alright. Just then he noticed a blue roadster pull into the coffee shops parking lot from the corner of his eye. He watched as a strawberry blonde got out of the car and started to walk towards the door. Well, here goes nothing I guess.

***

Nancy walked through the doors of the coffee shop and caught sight of Joe sitting near a back window. He gave her a little wave and she started walking in his direction. As she got closer she noticed that he didn’t seem quite himself. She couldn’t put a finger on it, but something was off.

“Hey Joe!”

“Hi” he responded with a smile. That great Joe Hardy smile. 

Nancy ordered a coffee and the two friends spent a few minutes catching up. They hadn’t seen each other since around the time she and Frank had ended things. Joe asked her about her cases and Nancy filled him in. Throughout the conversation she couldn’t help but noticed that Joe seemed a little jittery; not his normal relaxed self. He kept avoiding direct eye contact with her and she noted that he hadn’t ordered any food. Which was unusual for Joe. He ordered food every time he was in a place that served it. His coffee was barely touched as well. Maybe she would pry here in a minute, but first she had to ask the question that was most tugging at her brain.

“How is Frank doing?” She had to ask. It would bother her if she didn’t.

“He’s doing okay. I think he’s still a little sad, but it’s Frank. He’ll bounce back eventually right?” Joe gave Nancy a reassuring smile. 

“Ya I suppose you’re right”, Nancy sighed. “Anyway, are you okay Joe? You seem nervous and you haven’t ordered any food, which is very unusual for you.”

Joe gave a little laugh,“Nothing get’s past you Nance." His eyes darted around the coffee shop at all the people there and then looked back at her.

“Hey can we get out of here? Maybe we can walk to that park over there?” He gestured across the street. 

“Uh ya, sure. Why not” Nancy shrugged with a small frown on her face. Something was definitely going on. He hadn’t even made any of those Joe Hardy jokes she had grown to love.

They made their way out the door and across the street. Joe led them to a bench near a small pond and they sat down. 

“Alright”, Joe started. “I didn’t just show up today for no reason. I- well I wanted to tell you something.”

His face was serious and determined and Nancy couldn’t help but notice how cute he looked. He was suddenly making eye contact with her and her stomach did a flip. All at once Nancy thought she knew what was coming, but not only that, she also realized that it was what she wanted. Feelings she didn’t realize she had began to surface all at once. People had pushed her and Frank together for years and she had given in to that, thinking it was the right thing. But was the person for her in front of her all along? Had it been a Hardy brother after all? Just not the one everyone thought it would be?

She became very aware of how close they were sitting. Their knees almost touching and their hands resting on the bench between them, mere inches apart.

“Nancy, I- I really like you... more than a friend”, he quickly corrected. He bit his lip as he anticipated what Nancy was going to say.

They sat for a moment. Nancy noticed that they had slowly moved closer in the last few minutes. Getting caught up in the moment and without thinking any more about it she closed the gap and kissed Joe. She pulled back and gave an awkward little laugh. Joe sat there, stunned, before he came back to reality and smiled one of his big Joe Hardy smiles. 

“I guess that means you like me too?” 

“Oh Joe”, Nancy said with a laugh and they both moved in for another kiss.

[artificialqueens]

Hot as Hell and No A/C, Chapter 7 (Branjie) - Blackhighheels

Seven

Jose hangs up the phone and disbelievingly stares at it for a moment. This call certainly didn’t play out how he thought it would, when he accepted it.

He needs to sit down and makes his way to the couch, where Thackery is already snoozing away. Jose doesn’t care and picks him up anyway, cuddles him even though the cat tries to get away at first. He needs the attention, the cuddles and the comfort, his cat just has to deal with it.

It had started with instagram request for a scheduled call. He thought it would entail some catching up, some chit chat and some funny stories. And yet, here he was, at a loss for words, with a heavy heart and with no fucking clue what to do.

Rachel had told him she wanted to FaceTime him and because he liked her and hadn’t talked to her in a while, he agreed. Maybe, he had also been curious about her uncle, just maybe.

Rachel hadn’t been alone though, her mother was with her when Jose picked up. After a short talk about dance and some other meaningless shit, Ada had sent her daughter away. Jose had feared that she would ask questions. Questions he wouldn’t be sure how to answer and would most likely have to resort to lies. He hadn’t expected Ada to know about Brock being gay and about their night together.

Jose is still shocked about it and wonders about the circumstances of that confession. He doesn’t suspect that Brock just randomly came out to his sister. Ada had been on a roll though and so Jose hadn’t been able to stop her and ask for the story.

Jose had hoped he’d find out how Brock was, but he hadn’t expected his sister to ask him to call Brock, beg him really, so Brock would finally talk to someone.

Ada was worried, very worried, and therefore Jose was now losing his mind over the different scenarios that he feared Brock was suffering.

He’d known all along that Brock was struggling with his mental health, but judging by what Ada described on the phone, things have taken a turn for the worse, even though Brock now has one ally who knows about him and his sexual orientation.

Jason had also hinted before, that Brock wasn’t doing too well, but having his sister call and plead with you to help her, help her brother… Jose isn’t sure what to think or say or do.

He told her that he’s tried texting and calling and she told him to keep doing it, start doing it again, really.

He told her, he fears Brock will block his number and she assured him, he wouldn’t even know how to do it.

She revealed, Brock got instagram so he could check out Jose’s account, but doesn’t follow him. As if he’d be able to find him without his real name or his picture amongst his nearly 4 million followers, that fucking dumb-ass.

The talk with Ada leaves Jose shaken, scared and very upset. He knows if he calls Brock, his call will not get picked up. Jose is sure if he texts him, he won’t get a reply. He doubts Brock will read the message before deleting it. But what other option does he have?

Jose doesn’t even understand why Brock is not talking to him anymore. They said goodbye with a hug after an amazing night together. Jose made it clear that Brock was always welcome to call and that he wanted to remain friends. Maybe their night together was a mistake after all? Maybe, if they didn’t have sex things wouldn’t be so fucked up now? But how was he supposed to say no? It was an impossible task for him, because he was drawn to Brock like a moth to the flame. Still is. Nothing is any easier now, than it was when he drove away and barely made it past the fucked up ”friendly community” sign until he had to pull over because he was crying so much he couldn’t see the road anymore. He had wanted to go back, turn the car around and hurry back, but nothing would have been different. Brock would still be in the closet, he still had to leave and there was still no future for them. He hadn’t know back then that it would hurt that bad for that long, because he had counted on a friendship, some contact to get the fix he craves.

It also makes him angry because things could be so much easier if Brock wasn’t so damn stupid. They could talk and text. They could be friends at least, really good friends and maybe they could come up with a way on how to make them work sometime in the future, because it sure looks like it was just some spring dick romance.

Brock is one stubborn motherfucker and apparently one who lives for the self-sacrifice, because Ada also let Jose know that Brock is ghosting him, because he doesn’t want to ruin Jose’s life. He wants him to move on and be happy with someone else. For a second Jose’s tempted to do exactly that, post some bullshit picture with some random guy and pretend it’s his new boo. That’s what Brock wants after all.

But Jose is scared of his reaction, scared what might happen, if Brock is confronted with that image. Also, it would be a lie. Even after four months, Jose has not moved on, which has to mean something, right? He’s still reliving their one night together nearly every night. He dreams about their talks, hears Brock’s laughter as they stack the shelves together. He’s made the picture Brock took of him his lock screen and home screen. Not because it’s a picture of himself, but because he’s wearing Brock’s hat in it, because Brock took that picture and he still remembers that afternoon in all details. For a moment he was tempted to make the picture he has of Brock the background of his home and lock screen, but people would ask too many questions he has no answers to.

He showed the picture to Silky and A’keria and they both agree he’s fine as hell, even though he looks tired. But nothing could ever make that beautiful man look bad.

Jose opens the picture and stares into Brock’s smiling eyes on the screen. He misses him so much even just looking at his photo makes Jose want to cry.

He’ll try, Jose decides. He’ll try to smoke him out one last time.

He goes to instagram and uploads the video of his goofy dance that Brock secretly filmed, keeps in the part where Brock is laughing and teasing him. The bible fanatics surely won’t follow him on instagram and out of those who do, only Ada and Jason know Brock’s voice. It’s not like he’s saying anything suspicious and he can’t even be seen. Mostly he’s just laughing and Jose loves the sound, more so because it always helps him keep the tears at bay when he misses him too much.

‘Remember this? Different kind of spring dance. I miss those days. #Imissyou’ he writes as a caption and posts it. Hopefully there will be some kind of reaction from the man he still can’t forget and still loves, even though he’s fucking dumb.

***

”Ada? Where did you put the turnips?” Brock yells from the front of the store to the back of the store. Ever since his sister has been back full time, he can’t find anything anymore. It adds to the general annoyance he always feels these days, that’s constantly bubbling under the surface and now makes him want to throw the fucking boxes through the store or just burn the vegetables altogether. Who needs turnips anyway?

”They’re underneath the radish stand,” comes Ada’s reply.

”No, they’re not. That’s where they’re supposed to be, but I have no fucking idea where you put them.” How is supposed to restock them if he can’t find them? The throbbing behind his eyes intensifies.

”Watch your mouth. I don’t wanna have Noah cussing and cursing.” Ada lectures him as she walks out of the small office with Noah in her arms.

”He’s four months old. It’ll still be a while until he can say mama or cuss,” Brock rolls his eyes.

”Here, hold him Mr. Know-it-all.” She hands him the baby and starts looking for the turnips herself.

”Will you start cussing us all out Noah? Or will you be a good boy?” Brock coos at the baby and bounces him up and down on his arm. He’s spent a lot of time around him since he was born and it’s obvious that the little boy knows him, by the way he smiles at him. A second later a gush of milk and drool comes out of his mouth and runs down Brock’s arm. ”Great, cussing would be less disgusting, you know.” Brock shakes his head and turns around to find something to clean himself.

”Need a tissue?” Brock swirls back around. He can’t believe his eyes and shakes his head. This can’t be true. He stares disbelievingly, but the strong scent of cologne in the air that makes his headache intensify, lets him know that it’s real. He’s not hallucinating; Jose is back and his stomach drops. ”Here, let me help ya,” the smaller man says and wipes Brock’s arm clean with the tissues he holds. ”There ya go.”

They just stare at each other then, Brock still not really believing that Jose’s here, looking at him with a tiny, shy smile and those large brown eyes of his. His hair is longer than it was, it’s shaved differently and bleached on one side. There’s some stubble on his face and he’s wearing different earrings; the diamond studs have been replaced with black ones. He’s even more beautiful now, something Brock never thought possible, either.

”What are you doing here?” Brock finally finds his voice.

”Checking on ya treacherous ass. You don’t pick up your phone, don’t call me back, don’t reply to my messages. What’s a guy gotta do?” Jose tries to joke, but his voice isn’t as loud as it usually is and his hands are slightly shaking.

”You shouldn’t be here,” Brock starts to panic. Jose can’t be here! Everything will be for nothing! All his attempts to get over him and forget about him. The pain and the restraint whenever he watched his phone ring and ring, but hadn’t picked up. All the messages he deleted after reading them, everything inside him wanting to reply, wanting to call Jose back and just hear his voice. All the fights with his parents, Ada’s attempts to help him… If Jose sticks around everybody will find out what he is, people will talk, they will wonder and ultimately they will put two and two together and realize that Jose’s back because he had sex with him and wants to get in his pants again. Then his parents find out and he’ll lose… what exactly, Brock suddenly wonders. The thought makes him livid.

Why can’t Jose accept his decision? Why can’t he respect that he can’t have him in his life? Why can’t he see that he’s not good for Jose and will only drag him down with him? What does this beautiful, charming and charismatic man, with more money than he could ever dream of, friends and a career, want with him, a loser who is in the closet, suffers from anxiety and still lives with his parents? It’s a cruel joke god’s playing on him, that’s what it is. This is why he’s never done this before. Anonymous random hook ups with strangers are safer, because they surely can’t just come back and find you when they want.

”I can be wherever I wanna be, right Noah, my man? You remember me? You remember uncle Vanjie?” Jose baby talks to his nephew and if Brock wasn’t so angry again, he’d find it cute. Lately, he’s always angry and he rarely knows why.

”Fine, then you stay here, I’m gonna leave.” Brock says and looks around for his sister so she can take his nephew from him.

”Why you being such an asshole to me? I haven’t done nothing to you! Actually, I came back, ‘cause I was worried.” Jose gets louder as well and Brock can see Mr. Smith in the other aisle lift his head, clearly curious about what’s going on.

”No one needs to worry about me, least of all you. It’s none of your fucking business what’s going on with me. I don’t wanna talk to you, I don’t wanna text you. I want you to leave me the fuck alone! There, is that clear enough, in case me ignoring you wasn’t?” Brock hisses at him. Suddenly Ada is there beside him and he puts the baby in her arms.

”You’re a motherfucking jerk, you stupid, stuck-up, emotionally stunted asshole!” Jose roars and Brock blinks, because for a second he thinks Jose might actually hit him. He suddenly seems taller than him, he’s so angry he’s vibrating and his eyes are black at this point.

”Brock, ya better leave,” Ada tells him and places a hand on Vanjie’s arm. So much for the family support and loyalty. Since when is his own sister on Jose’s side? Shouldn’t she know why Brock is acting like he is?

Without another look at either of them, Brock hurries out of the store and slams the door behind him, so hard the glass nearly bursts.

He doesn’t take the car that is parked in front of the store, because he has no intention of going back to his parent’s farm and back to work. He’s tempted to kick Jose’s overly shiny and way too expensive car, but doesn’t.

Instead he stalks off into the empty fields, over the dry sand and small rocks, just to get away from everything.

Especially from the man with the expressive eyes and the ever-present scent of cologne, who used to be the person he dreamed about being with and who has now become his live-and-in-flesh nightmare.

***

Days later, Brock knows he has been played as soon as the black Porsche pulls up to his sister’s house. For two days, he managed to avoid Jose and he hoped that he would be gone by now, but no such luck.

When his sister had asked him to come over and help her run some errants he hadn’t become suspicious. Not even when he got there and she told him she had the kids and he had to go alone. Only when Jose drove up to the house, did he understand what was going on.

”You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he curses as Rachel runs off to give Jose a hug when he gets out of the car. The fact that said man is responsible for him not sleeping a wink the last two nights doesn’t help his mood.

”I thought I’d be more comfortable to take Jose’s car in this heat. It’s a two hour drive one way, ya know,” Ada shrugs and looks so innocent, that Brock nearly doubts she has anything to do with this.

”More comfortable?” Brock snorts about the fucking irony. There are very few places at the moment he’d be less comfortable in than in Jose’s car or anywhere where Jose is, really. It’s just so hard to be around him and knowing he has to push him away with all his might, while he wants nothing more than to just run to him and burry himself in his arms and never let go. It’s another wish in his fucked up life that will never come true, because he can’t allow himself to make it come true. He has to make sure at least Jose can be happy in the long run, so annoying him a bit now so he won’t get hurt might be the safest course of action. He has to protect those he loves and he absolutely loves Jose.

”What? You gonna throw a fit like a two year old? Vanjie’s right, ya know, you acting like an asshole,” Ada lectures him. ”Get into the car and be nice to him. He’s only helping us out and ya should be grateful not rude.”

”Yes, mom,” he rolls his eyes, gets into the passenger’s seat of the car and closes the door. It’s blissfully cool inside, the AC blasting as well as the music. Jose is still talking to Rachel and his sister outside and smiles and babbles with Noah. Brock has to smile at the picture, but stops himself when he realises what he’s doing and quickly looks away before he can get caught.

”Ya ready?” Jose’s tone is harsh, maybe unnerved and surely not as friendly, funny or warm as it used to be.

Brock grunts in reply and looks out the side window. He can see Jose’s reflection in it, the way his jaw clenches and how his eyebrows are drawn together. He looks as tense as Brock feels, which strangely enough makes him relax a bit.

Brock watches the landscape fly by as they drive out of town. It’s been a while since he’s been to Dallas, but this time they got no choice.  Ada has given him a long list with things she needs and errants he needs to run for her. Usually she makes the trip once a month, but with Noah and looking after Brock, she hasn’t been in a while.

The whole drive Jose doesn’t say a word and neither does Brock. He’s glad when Jose turns the volume of the music up even more, so the silence between them isn’t as painfully obvious.

Also, it’s a good distraction. Whenever he gets too caught up in his thoughts and feelings, thinks about talking to Jose and apologising to him, maybe even reach over and take his hand, then he concentrates on the unfamiliar music and the beat.

”How long are ya gonna take?” Jose asks when he has parked the car in the parking space of the wholesale market.

”Maybe about an hour or two?” His tone is softer now, because the brusk way Jose treats him hurts. Brock wants him gone and leave him alone, but just so they can both stop hurting. He knows he’s hurt Jose with his silence, but it was for his own good. Being around him however and not being able to talk to him and Jose acting this cold towards him, is torture. All of Brock’s wounds are open and bleeding again.

”Imma be back in two hours,” Jose doesn’t even look at him as he speaks, he is staring out the front windshield.

”Jose…,” Brock starts, but then stops himself. He doesn’t really know what to say and he should leave it anyway. ”Two hours, ok.” He gets out of the car and as soon as the door closes behind him, Jose speeds off and leaves him stranded at the parking space.

When the two hours are up and Jose isn’t back, Brock worries that he’s just left him there. He thinks about calling him, but it doesn’t feel right to call him now, when he has been avoiding his calls for months. So he waits in the burning heat, his sister’s purchases under his arm and all around him.

After thirty minutes Jose finally pulls up. He doesn’t say anything as Brock puts the things in the trunk and Brock can see that Jose has done some shopping himself. There’s bags with clothes and shoes, all of them brands Brock could never afford.

It’s getting dark as they drive back and Brock feels more and more tired. They are still not talking, because there’s too much that needs to be said, but more that needs to be kept in.  It makes Brock even more tired and exhausted, physically and emotionally.

He leans his head back against the headrest and enjoys the feeling of the soft leather against his cheek, the cool air of the AC hitting his overheated face. He breathes in deeply, lets Jose’s scent wash over him, a mix with the scent of the leather of the seats and the night air.

Brock finally gives in and closes his eyes because they’re burning. He lets his left hand come to rest on the middle console.

He’s basically asleep when it registers in is subconsciousness that Jose’s fingers are laced through his, as he drives him back home. The warmth of the touch spreads from Brock’s fingertips through his whole body.

***

”Brock! Ada!” It’s his father who is yelling and Brock wonders if he’s only angry or also drunk. It’s barely noon and usually his father isn’t drunk at this time, but neither is he usually this angry.

”Hey dad,” Ada remains as friendly as ever, but Brock notices that she left the baby in the back, while four of her other kids are playing in the aisles of the store.

”Can y’all tell me what ya doing hanging out with that… guy?” his father comes straight to the point.

”What are you talking about?” Brock decides to play dumb, while he is secretly itching for a fight, has so for weeks.

”Don’t pretend ya don’t know what I’m talking about! Wilson just told me that the gay dancer  is back in town and he’s been here in the store. And you’ve been seen with him at night when ya been taking stuff from his car!” Brock’s stomach clenches and he’s suddenly nauseous.

”You mean Vanjie? He helped us out by driving to Dallas and picking up stuff at the wholesale market.” Ada’s explanation sounds so innocent.

”Why’s he even back here?”

”Visiting Jason again?” Ada lies. They both know that’s not why Jose is back, even though they haven’t talked about it. Brock doesn’t really know yet how much his sister is involved in Jose coming back, but his gut tells him it’s a whole lot.

”And what do you have to do with Jason?” his father asks, then slams his cane to the ground. ”You stay away from these people, ya hear me? Both of you. And you,” he turns to Rachel, who has been watching the whole talk, ”no more dance lessons with the gays, no more of this music and these dance moves. No grand-daughter of mine will behave or dress like a whore!”

”Enough!” Ada raises her voice. ”You will not talk to my daughter that way or call her names.”

”I will talk to your daughter whichever way I want.”

”No, you won’t!” Ada interrupts him, her face red with anger. ”And while we’re at it: You will not talk to my children that way, you won’t swear or curse around’em, you won’t be drunk around’em and you won’t tell’em what to do. You hear me?” Brock stares at his sister in awe. The Lioness has entered and is fighting for her cubs.

”How dare you talk to me this way? Who do you think you are?” his father roars and steps closer to Ada, who doesn’t move an inch, even as Rachel hurries to her side.

”Don’t you dare!” Brock intervenes and steps between his father and his sister and niece, pushing him back. ”Don’t even think about it,” he hisses when he sees his father’s grip on his cane tighten.

”You think you can tell me what to do? The lover of all wronged and friend to all faggots. You’re a disgrace! All of you! God will punish you for the way you’re behaving! Mark my words.”

”Out!” Ada says, still not moving an inch, even though her father is still towering over her, with only Brock in between to stop him.

”You can’t throw me out. I’m your father!” The cane lifts off the ground, but Brock pushes his father backwards and into a shelf. It’s not a hard push, but it’s enough to put him off balance so he needs his cane back on the ground to catch himself.

”You heard Ada. Leave! Now!”

His father gapes at him in disbelieve and with anger written all over his face. He’s livid, but Brock’s anger matches his father’s.

”And don’t you dare ever raising a hand against my sister or niece ever again,” Brock adds, because at this moment for whatever reason he has the courage to do it. If his father’d try to beat him up, punch him and kick him like he used to do with them when they were kids, Brock would finally have an outlet for months of frustration and anger, because he would fight back this time.

”We’ve had enough of your anger and your cursing and your aggression. You’re a bully and a drunk. You talk about god and the church and you beat your own wife and children. Get the hell out of my store!” Ada yells. With one look back, his father leaves. Both Brock and Ada are breathing hard once he’s finally gone Rachel holding on to Ada’s side. They share a disbelieving look about what they just did and Brock feels a mixture of elation and fear.

”Mommy, you said hell,” Rachel timidly points out and makes the two adults in the room smile, as the random observation lightens the mood.

”I know, I’m sorry. I’ll ask for forgiveness later,” Ada tries hard not to laugh. ”Rachel, baby, will you check on Noah in the back?” She waits until her daughter is gone before she speaks again. ”Thank you.”

”There’s absolutely nothing you have to thank me for. I should have stepped in before when he got so aggressive towards you.”

”I don’t care what he does to me, even though Joe had a talk with him about that before. But he doesn’t lay a hand on my children. I won’t have it!”

”You’re a great mom, Ada. I wish our mom was as strong as you,” Brock quickly reaches over and gives her a hug.

”Speaking of mom: Can you go and check on her? I’d hate it if he lets out his frustration on her and uses her as a punching bag.”

”Sure. You gonna be ok here with all the kids?”

”Of course. They’ll help me serve the customers,” Ada smiles and places a kiss on Brock’s cheek.

***

”Mom? Mom?” Brock calls as he enters the house and listens carefully for any sounds of a fight or a beating.

”Brock? What’s wrong?” She comes out of the kitchen, a kitchen knife still in her hands.

”Nothing, just… was dad here?”

”Yes, he came home, but then left again.” She says.

”Did he hurt you?” It’s the first time Brock has ever asked her this directly. They all know that his father beats his mother and they’ve all seen it. But no one ever talks about it.  His mother looks surprised about the question, but then slowly shakes her head.

”No, he was upset and was cursing Ada, Rachel and you. That’s all.”

”So he didn’t hit you?” He asks again, just so they’re clear.

”No.” At his mother’s reassurance, Brock feels relieved. ”What happened?”

”He came into the store and was angry about Jason’s friend helping out Ada. He cursed in front of the kids, told Rachel she wasn’t allowed to go to dance class anymore and threatened Ada.”

”What do you mean threatened?”

”He nearly hit her with the cane.”

”He’s her father.” His mother replies with a shrug, like that explains everything.

”Exactly, he’s our father and your husband and that still doesn’t give him the right to beat any of us. It’s wrong now that we’re all adults and it was even worse when we were kids.”

”Kids need to learn to respect their parents and behave. Otherwise they won’t behave outside in society and that’s not god’s way. They need to have respect.”

”We never respected him, mom. We feared him,” Brock sighs and sits down on the sofa. ”Ada threw him out of the store when he threatened Rachel. I think she’s finally had enough. I had to step in. I won’t have him beat up my sister or my niece.”

”It’s not right Brock, none of it. Rachel shouldn’t be with these gay people and listen to this music and wear these clothes. Ada shouldn’t disrespect her father. And you, you’ve changed. You’re not even going to church anymore and hang out with the wrong people. Your father was just upset and he has a right to be.”

”So you agree with him?”

”I agree with his opinion, but not with the beatings,” she finally admits.

”Jose, that’s Jason’s friend, helped us out a lot, while he was here the last time. Without him I wouldn’t have been able to get to Dan when he was in hospital, Rachel would have had to ride her bike alone in the middle of the night and Noah would have been born either at home or somewhere between here and the hospital.” Talking about it makes Brock feel even worse about the way he treated Jose.  ”And Jason isn’t a bad person either. He cares about the kids and is a good teacher. I don’t know him that well, but he’s always friendly, even though everyone in this town treats him like crap. I’ve decided that I’ve had enough, mom. Enough of the hate that the reverend preaches and enough of the prejudices and the pettiness. The bible talks about love and compassion, but all the reverend gives us are rules on how to mistreat and judge each other. I can’t do it no more. It makes me sick. I work from morning till night, seven days a week. I help Ada and I help Dan on top of running this farm. I have no life of my own and I’ve never complained. But I won’t be controlled anymore, not by dad and not by the reverend.” Brock tells his mother with all the seriousness the matter needs. He has never talked to his mother as openly before. It’s not like she ever asked about his thoughts. ”Rachel is a child and all Ada wants for her is to have some fun. We never had any fun growing up, mom. There was church and school and work. And in between the beatings from dad. I don’t blame you, but I can’t pretend that I understand you either.” He sighs heavily. ”All I’m saying is that I’ve had enough. No more.”

”What does that mean? You leaving?” His mother asks him, her face unreadable.

”Do you want me to leave?”

”No, of course not,” she shakes her head. ”Who’s supposed to do the work around here, if you leave?”

That one hits him harder than his father’s beatings ever could and leaves him gasp for his next breath. Then Brock swallows hard, clears his voice. ”Is that the only reason? The farm? Work?” It’s hard to keep the tears at bay, when it’s made clear to him that that’s all he is, even for his mother: a worker, stable boy, another source of income.

”No,” she says finally, her face still stoic. Then she gets up and gives his shoulder a squeeze. ”No,” she repeats quietly and disappears back into the kitchen.

TBC

[omgviolette12]

After Hours - Chapter 9

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Summary: Evelyn Monroe has been a TA for professor Laufeyson’s Calculus course for four months now. He was known to be quite strict, but that never deterred her from applying for the position in order to be close to the man she had been secretly pining for. One evening, she returns to his office after opening hours… and with her bountiful luck, she walks in on something not meant to be seen.

Chapters: 9/?

Words: 2800+

Warnings: None

Tags:  @milkymaidme @dangertoozmanykids101@alexakeyloveloki @little-moonbeam-666  @marvel-ous-fics@clovermariear@lynnesm@bitchyikes@moon-child-of-a-poet, @allthecraftandthings@bubblegumspitt @shockwavee @blondekel77 @nerd–nirvana @valdemarismynonbinarylove@nightrose64 @pastelhexmaniac @iistormii

If you’d like to be added, let me know. I’ve also posted this on AO3

_____________

After getting handsy with her professor, it was as if Evelyn were on a blissful high. She was happy, extremely so that at the time she didn’t care about the mess they made of his desk, or the roundabout way they had to take to leave the building to avoid being noticed together.

Thankfully there hadn’t been a run-in with Andrès or any other lingering students, so he was able to drive her home without incident.

Evelyn was not sure why, but she anticipated the drive to be in awkward silence, or have some sort of strange tension. This was a new experience for her, so she didn’t quite know how to act around him now. She was usually good at starting conversations out of thin air, especially with this professor of hers...but she had no idea what to say, or where to begin.

While she expected to grow more comfortable in his presence after what they did together, it seemed to have made her even shyer instead.

Strangely enough, he sensed her plight. Removing a hand from the steering wheel, he stopped the fidgeting of her fingers by giving her hands a comforting squeeze on top of her lap, “You’re oddly quiet, for someone as talkative as yourself. Is something on your mind, darling?"

His deep voice startled her from her thoughts, her senses now aware of his hand dwarfing her small ones, “Oh..I’m fine. Just, um... thinking. Nothing important.”

Evelyn didn’t want him to view her as childish or immature, which she believed her current line of thinking was. She would much rather keep her thoughts to herself than portray the image of a naive, fiddling woman that she was sure he abhorred.

Loki, however, was persistent. Whatever troubled her seemed to affect him as well, and he needed to get to the bottom of it. “Evelyn, you do know how fruitless it is for you to lie to me?”

One thing Evelyn disliked, yet admired about the man was how perceptive he was to her emotions. She felt like an open book most of the time, and she wasn’t sure she liked that yet.

Sighing audibly, she turned to look at him. His eyes were focused on the road, with a smile on his lips. It softened his features significantly, however small that smile may be. Seeing his calm demeanor affected her, prompting her to speak.

“It’s just… are we together now? Like, exclusive? It's probably a stupid question, but I wanna make sure we’re on the same page.”

He merely chuckled, his eyes gaining a teasing light, “ I did recall claiming you as my woman, yes? Or do you require more...confirmation?”

Evelyn didn’t think her face could get any redder. She pouted, her expression indignant, “Can you give a straight answer, please?”

Loki gave her hands another light squeeze, his smile widening, “It wouldn’t be any fun that way. Besides, I love it when you get all flustered. It’s quite cute, really.”

She never expected the word ‘cute’ to ever leave his mouth, nor the playful manner in which he spoke to her. If this was his version of teasing, she wasn’t sure her heart could survive the brunt of it.

“But to answer your question,” his tone grew more serious, looking away from the road momentarily to glance at their joined hands, “ It would be complicated, given your status as a student. We are indeed in a relationship, but this fact cannot be made known on campus. I am sure you know why.”

“Um...yeah, I get it. I’m still your TA, so it would make sense to keep things on the down-low. I don’t mind.”

Besides the obvious ethical reasons, she didn’t want to be hounded by jealous bitches on campus. Especially the faculty. She had seen a couple of her other professors throughout various departments interact with the man, and they all had the same little ‘I want your cock inside me, teehee!’ twinkle in their eyes.

Evelyn did, however, want to tell someone. What if she needed advice? But she couldn’t tell any of her friends on campus since they were straight-up gossiping hoebags.

I could at least tell Candice, right?

“Candice? Is that your sister?”

He turned onto a familiar street, stopping at a traffic light. He then looked at her curiously with a raised brow, “As long as she doesn’t attend the school, I don’t necessarily mind.”

I said that out loud? Again?!

“Oh! Oh, really? You don’t mind her knowing...?” She didn’t think that last thought would slip from her brain and into her traitorous mouth, but she might as well roll with the dice.

“No, I don’t see why I would. She’s going to find out eventually, so there’s no point in hiding it.”

That went... better than expected. It seemed too good to be true, so she decided to test the waters a bit more, “But, I thought you didn’t want us to be public? And she could be a bit...judgy. In fact, my whole family is...”

Especially her mother. If she found out Evelyn was involved with her professor...she’d most definitely smack her into the next century.

He pondered for a moment, seeing that the topic worried her. “Public on campus, yes. But within our own private circles, it's fine to be more open. She’s your sister, not some random friend.”

He continued to drive once more, and she could tell they were getting close to her apartment, “...And regarding your family’s possible judgement, it honestly matters little to me. I only care about what you think.”

Butterflies went haywire inside her stomach, her face heating up at his words. He only cared about what she thought? Her opinion, especially within her family, was always overlooked - so she was extremely grateful that he valued what she thought about him.

She felt a bit embarrassed, clearing her throat lightly before replying in a quiet voice, “Oh...um...thanks?” She didn’t know how else to respond, so it sounded awkward to the ears.

He only laughed, eyes glinting with amusement at her reply, “Don’t be so embarrassed, I’m merely telling the truth. Ah, here we are,”

He pulled to a stop across the street from her building, and Evelyn felt a sudden sense of loss wash over her. She didn’t want to go home already - she wanted to spend much, much more time with him now that things were different between them. She was becoming so attached already, it frightened her to a degree.

Evelyn didn’t know he was calling her name until she felt a gentle pull on her chin.

"Evelyn? I asked if you've saved my number," he looked at her concernedly, brows scrunched up.

"Huh? Yeah yeah...I think I - oh, no... I didn’t actually," she pulled out her phone to check, but then remembered that she forgot to save it from his email a while back.

“Here, allow me,” he held out his hand for her phone, for which she quickly obliged.

Loki entered his number quickly, then called his own cell to save hers.

When she went to take back her phone however, she was caught unawares when he took hold of her face to draw her into a hungry kiss. His hand moved to her neck, and the kiss quickly grew in intensity as his tongue explored the warmth of her mouth.

The kiss felt almost desperate, as if he wanted to savor her before he had to leave.

When they parted for air, his eyes were dark and narrowed.

“Mine,” he murmured against her lips, so softly that if they weren’t so close, she might have missed it.

______________

A few days had passed since Evelyn had last seen professor Laufeyson - or Loki, rather. She still had to get used to calling him by his first name, although she hadn't had the time to put it into actual practice.

She was still behind in several projects, and with final critiques now steadily approaching, Evelyn feared that she’d barely have time to see him in the near future, save for their meetings.

However, the next meeting they’d have would be with the other TA’s in his class to discuss grading/proctoring final examinations, so they wouldn’t be alone.

Fortunately, she did have his number - she was just...too scared to actually use it. He didn’t contact her after that night, only texting her briefly to see if she made it inside her home without incident.

But he was a busy man, so she never expected him to be an active texter anyway.

She didn’t want to seem clingy and bombard his phone with calls and texts, but she did miss his voice…and touch.

Evelyn really wanted to slap herself. She wasn’t this obsessed back when she admired him from afar - it was starting to become unnerving.

She stretched lazily in her chair, sighing softly to herself. She’d been stuck in the studio for several hours now, yet she was struggling to complete her painting because her mind was too preoccupied to focus.

Her senior painting class was meeting up tomorrow for the weekly group critique, and she wanted at least one solid work of art to show for.

She was about to resume painting, until her phone went off with a ping!

Her heart randomly started pounding, stomach warm with butterflies. Did Loki finally send her another message?

She went to check quickly, and was promptly doused with cold disappointment.

It was the group chat she had with several of her friends on the app Line, and Andrès had sent a message.

Evelyn sucked her teeth in annoyance, before checking the notification to see what he had to say.

Yaboi Andrès: Can y'all tell me if I'm tripping balls or not???

A flurry of messages pinged soon after.

Ieatass uwu: What happened? :C

Chantel24: You're always tripping balls. Stfu.

Mandydandy:  what's tripping balls mean?

Evelyn rolled her eyes. He occasionally had stupid shit to say, and the group chat always blew up her phone when he riled them up.

She was about to turn off notifications, until he sent one message that stopped her heart.

Yaboi Andrès: It's about professor Laufeyson. Y'all know him right? He teaches math in the science dept.

Ieatass uwu: Yea Eve's his TA. What about him?

Mandydandy: Fucker failed me when I took his Statistics class last year. And I'd gladly take it again ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Chantel24: Yeah, why?

Evelyn suddenly became extremely worried. He was just going to complain about failing the class...right? It's not like he heard anything that night. They were quiet, she was sure…

Yaboi Andrès: I think he's clapping cheeks in his office y'all.

Evidently, she was wrong.

Mandydandy: !!!!!!

Mandydandy:Now I know u fuckin lying.(ಠ_ಠ)

Mandydandy: Like, foreal?

Chantel24: …….

Ieatass uwu: Laufeyson of all people? How you know? Omg…

Chantel24: Explain. This better not be stupid.

Evelyn's heart began to beat uncontrollably in her chest, her hands starting to sweat. Her eyes never left the screen as she gripped the phone tighter, watching as Andrès typed a string of messages.

Yaboi Andrès: Aight so boom. Eve left her purse in his office or whatever, asked me to pick it up. I said hell no, but changed mind cuz I'm a good friend as you know. But when I went, he told me I was failing the class and all that shit. Got me fucked up.

Chantel24: Get to the point.

Mandydandy: ^^^

Yaboi Andrès: Chill, I'm getting there. Anyway fast-forward, it's night and I just got out my last class. I'm still tight as fuck, and scared too cuz I need to pass the class. So I'm like fuck it, Imma go plead my case or just drop the course.

Yaboi Andrès: I ain't know his office hours but I went anyway, and this where shit gets spicy…

At this point, Evelyn knew she had to intervene.

She started to type furiously, her fingers shaking as she did so.

Evie<3: Andrès. As his TA, I’d appreciate if you didn’t speak about him in that manner. He’s a private, proper person who wouldn’t do what you’re suggesting. Stop typing weird shit please.

It felt strange typing that, seeing as she herself caught Loki doing the exact thing Andrès accused him off. Only this time...she was the one on the other side of the door.

Thinking about it again, she felt so off. Was she a horrible person, doing something so filthy in his office and liking it?

Evelyn started to question her morals seriously in that moment, her heart suddenly unsure. She feared she may have bitten off more than she can chew, involving herself with a professor.

She anticipated awkward situations like this would be common place, and she wasn’t sure she could tackle them.

Another ping drew her attention back to the phone as she bit her lip.

Mandydandy: Eve, bless ur heart. We all know u wanna hoppity-hop on his dick too. ‘hE’s A pRoPeR pErsOn’ my ass.

Ieatass uwu:  And I oop- ⊙.☉

She became angry in that instant. Oh, if only they knew…

Evie<3: Unless you’re itching to catch these hands, I’d suggest you watch your mouth. I’m dead serious.

Yaboi Andrès: Chill, chill! It's really not that serious.

Mandydandy: I’m just fuckin with you, dang. You know I’m like this already >.>

Chantel24: Y’all are outta pocket today.

Evelyn forced herself to shut off the screen, slamming her phone a bit too harshly on the table. If she engaged them even more, she’d only make herself out to be suspicious.

When she saw Loki next, she’d have to speak to him about this. And she was not looking forward to it.

She took off her glasses to rub at her eyes tiredly, stressed from the entire situation.

I need a damn break from this shit...

Speaking of breaks, she was in desperate need for the restroom, as she was cooped up in the studios for hours on end.

She went to the only restroom outside of the studios, washing her face with cold water to help stave off the incoming headache.

Evelyn decided to just head back and get ready to go for lunch, seeing as she couldn’t find it in herself to finish painting anyway after that conversation. She hoped some food would help lift her spirits, if only a little.

As she was heading back towards the studio, she spotted two figures in the distance, a man and a woman, right at the entrance. She’d left her glasses back on her work table, so she couldn’t see clearly.

When she got closer and the figures became clearer, her heart skipped a beat once she realized who it was.

"...And these are the student studios, I'm gathering? For the seniors?"

Loki spoke to the woman beside him, whom she now recognized as her senior painting professor, who insisted her students call her by her first name - Cindy.

“Yep! We have about 15 seniors this semester, and they all share the same space, divided into cubicles that serve as their private work areas. It does get a bit cramped, but we’re working on installing more walls and expanding...”

Cindy spoke animatedly to a seemingly interested Loki, until something else caught her attention.

Sensing her presence, the woman turned her head, with Loki following suit. And as soon as he laid eyes on Evelyn, his visage immediately lost all of its tension.

Evelyn didn’t know how to react to his presence, especially since they had an audience.

“Oh Eve! Are you busy right now, by chance?” Cindy asked, her voice unusually high pitched.

She was taken aback by the sudden question, "Huh? Oh, no, not really…?"

"Phew, good! I was giving Mr.Laufeyson here a small tour of the department, but I have to head to a meeting in a few. I don't want to cut it short, so I was hoping you could take over?"

She could feel his gaze burning into her skull, and she forced herself to focus on Cindy, "Yeah, yeah! I don't mind…"

"Thank you for your help thus far, Cindy. It was much appreciated," Although Loki spoke to her, his eyes never left Evelyn's form.

Regardless, Cindy blushed visibly, “ Oh… of course! Any time you decide to drop by, please visit my office. I’ll be sure to give you a more thorough tour next time...”

And with one more nod in Loki’s direction, Cindy scurried off, leaving the two completely alone.

When Evelyn turned once more to address him, she was startled to see that he had already moved incredibly close.

He took hold of her hand without warning, and she struggled to keep up with his long legs that took them to a secluded corner in the empty hallway.

“Profess- I mean, Loki! What’re you doing here? Why -“

Her voice was cut short by the look in his eyes. They were absolutely feral, almost black with desire.

It wasn’t long before he gripped her jaw harshly with his hand, tipping her face upward before delving his tongue inside her mouth with much urgency.

??!!!

And that was the only visible thought Evelyn could manage.

[bluesfortheredj]

What about, Richard and Reader have a one night thing, they just walk away but somehow they liked each other. Richard continues doing his job, while Reader realizes she is pregnant. They meet again randomly and he sees her with her 4 months belly and somehow they talk, she is afraid of telling him and he get to know that is his and then after a little argument they just stay together and happy ever after

Richard had seen you around before, you were a familiar face when at his friend’s gatherings, and he’d come accustomed to searching for you whenever he was invited for a party. You’d noticed him as well, his lingering gaze always sending a jolt of electricity up your spine as soon as you clock him staring at you, and yet no matter how much you willed him to come and talk to you, it never seemed to happen.

Before you get your legs to carry you through the door tonight, you close your eyes tightly and think to yourself how ready you are for him to make his move in a last ditch attempt at trying to get the universe on your side. You walk through the threshold and in to the throng of people that were already gathered in the dining room with glasses of wine in hand, then a heat moves up your back, and when you spin around you see Richard staring directly at you. He moves through the crowd as if someone was listening to your thoughts outside, and you hold your breath until he reaches you.

“I’m Richard,” he smiles, his blue eyes sparkling inexplicably brightly at you.

“I know,” you reply, “I’m-”

“(Y/N),” he grins, “I know.”

There’s a silence that then hangs between you both, your eyes not faltering from one another’s for what seems like an age, but in reality is only a couple of seconds, and then one of your mutual friends, Jason, appears next to you.

“Finally! We were all wondering how long it would take you two to talk,” Jason cheers, then pushes past the both of you and in to the party.

“Good to know no one noticed then...” Richard chuckles, turning his attention back to you.

“Hmm,” you mumble in agreement.

“How about we make this a private party?” he asks, raising his eyebrows suggestively. You wanted to have the willpower to say ‘no, I’m simply not that kind of woman’, but this was Richard, the man you had pined over for months, and there was no way your brain was going to let you turn down this offer.

“Sounds good to me,” you nod, then he slips his hand in yours and you both sneak out of the front door to the make the comfortably quiet trip to his place, which was just around the corner practically.

Barely any words were exchanged that night as your bodies moved as one on his bed, your limbs intricately entwined all evening while you explored every inch of skin on each other. Nothing was left untouched or without an imprint of his lips, and when it all eventually tired you both out, he made sure he held you close until the sun started to appear through the crack in the curtains. The morning wasn’t awkward in the slightest, and after making you breakfast, you left your number on a piece of paper for him, then gave him one last kiss and left for work.

It was quiet in the days after seeing him, and although it hurt you inside, you thought it was probably for the best. Anything that seems too good to be true usually is, and you were just glad that you’d taken your opportunity while you had it, even if you did think that it could have become something more. It was in the next couple of months that you knew something was a little off; your menstrual cycle was usually quite regular, but it hadn’t appeared the previous month, and it looked like it wasn’t going to appear this month either. You’d used protection with Richard, or at least the first time you did. Everything got a little fuzzy after that, as you both got completely lost in one another.

A pregnancy test would be the only sure way of knowing, so you do the sensible thing of getting one from your local chemist and sit watching it as the seconds tick by painfully slow. As soon as the time is up, you place it carefully in your palm, then close your eyes and take a deep breath before looking at it.

“Oh, shit,” you exhale, seeing the positive result. You use the other one in the pack to be sure, but of course it gives you the same outcome, and you know there’s no denying it. As if on cue, Jason’s name pops up on your phone screen, and the ringtone is almost deafening in the small bathroom.

“Hi,” you say shakily.

“Hello stranger. I’m having another get together-”

“I can’t, sorry,” you say, cutting him off.

“You don’t even know when it is,” he laughs.

“I can’t, I’m sorry Jason. I really can’t. I have to go, speak soon,” you mutter, then hang up the phone before he can protest. There was no way you could go to any more of his parties, and you didn’t even know what to do right now anyway. Was it too late to think about terminating the pregnancy? Could you face motherhood on your own, with your constant reminder of what could have been with Richard? It was overwhelming, and the only thing you could face doing right now was sleeping, so that’s what you do.

-

It was just over four months into the pregnancy now, and you hadn’t had any contact with anyone that knew Richard, so your secret was safe with family and close friends thankfully. Everyone was happy for you after the initial shock that you of all people would have a one night stand with someone, and you knew that there’d be a strong support system around you when the baby arrived. Jason had sent the odd text message, but you hadn’t replied, and although you felt awful, it was the right thing to do; the only thing to do.

The weekend was here, and you were all set for another quiet night in with your bump, but then a knock on your door ripped you from your peace and tranquillity. As you approach the front door, your mind is calm and clear, but when you open it, that seems to disappear into the night air.

“We’re taking you out,” your friend grins, “come on, we’re not taking no for an answer.”

“But-”

“Look, I’ve got limited time with you until you’re drowning in nappies, and I want to treat you to dinner while you can still fit into a booth at a restaurant,” she explains, and you break into a smile as you grab your coat and bag, not bothering to change out of the casual midi dress you were wearing. It was stretchy, comfy, and wasn’t dirty, so it was staying.

You’re sitting having a gossip about your friend’s co-workers when you think you can hear your name being called from across the restaurant, but you ignore it until you can no longer deny it was you they were trying to get the attention of.

“(Y/N)!” Richard calls out, now only a few feet away from the table, “how have you-”

You turn to him, sitting up from the table as you do, and that’s when he notices your bump, making him stop mid sentence as he takes in this sight. Your friend stares at him as well, and she realises who he is straight away, then gets up and stands in front of him.

“Sorry, girls night only,” she says, creating a barrier between you both. He reluctantly looks at her, but frowns in anger.

“It’s okay, Rachael, it’s alright,” you say, and she backs up into her chair, still looking at him with narrowed eyes.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, dragging a chair from a nearby table and sitting next to you.

“Why didn’t you call me?” you retort.

“I lost the fucking piece of paper, didn’t I?!”

“You could have asked Jason.”

“I… I was scared.”

“Of what?” you scoff.

“You not feeling the same way I do,” he says quietly, and you shake your head, “is it mine?”

“Yes!” you half gasp, half laugh at his ridiculous question, and it almost leaves you angry that he’d ask such a thing, “what kind of a question is that?!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean… I don’t know, a stupid question, that’s what it is. How far gone…?”

“Just over four months,” you mumble.

“What?!” he asks, “were you ever going to tell me?”

“Were you ever going to call? This is a two way street.”

“Are you going to answer every question I have with another question?”

“Why not?” you reply, and the hint of a smile crosses both yours and his lips, although Rachael sits there with an unmoving frown, not backing down on him just yet, like any good friend would do. “Anyway, like Rachael said, it’s girls night, so we’ll talk about this tomorrow. Just don’t lose my number this time.”

“Give me your address, I’ll come round and we can talk properly,” he smiles, then instinctively reaches out to your bump and presses his hand against your belly gently. The look on his face, and how he said that he was worried you wouldn’t feel the same as him gave you hope for the future finally. There was a chance now that you wouldn’t be completely alone when bringing your child up, and you couldn’t help but feel excited.

@springlady @nkalli @givemeanorigami @teaxcupxcake @pineapplebooboo @itisjustmethistime @parkerplexed @king4thesirens @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers

[dreamingofjoon]

You’re Special

Johnny Seo x Reader and Lee Taeyong x Reader

Word Count: 9k (WWHAATTTT)

Warnings: Stalker!AU, Sexual Content (Dirty Talk, Masturbation), Some triggering acts forced due to blackmail

A/N. There’s a lot of background info, sorry lol but YES. IT’S BEEN WEEKS BUT IT’S DONE! I’m so proud;-; I love Johhny so much you guys have no idea but this idea was just too good to pass up. Hope you enjoy it and please, please, please, make sure to provide feedback.

This photo does not belong to me. Credit is given here

Another night, another sob story. Tonight, your reclusive tendencies returned once again. Your roommate invited you to a party in one of the frat houses of the campus. As per usual, you shut her down, wanting nothing to do with loud music, skimpy clothing and strange looks from girls you barely knew, and random men standing abreast to you in uncomfortably close proximity.

Once again, you were seated in your room, unwillingly sulking about a subject all the people you knew found trivial. Throughout all of your years, you had not been in a relationship. None that you would have claimed, that is. Your only mistake was Jaehyun yet after him, there was no one else. At least that’s what you tried to tell yourself.

In junior year of high school, he approached you randomly and asked for your number. You oddly gave him your information and began talking to him. From what you could collect, there was nothing bad about him. No venomous comments came out of others mouths about him. With all of your friends in relationships, you had been speculating as to why no one had been interested in you as of yet. His presence soothed many insecurities you held. He would reassure you with the simplest words but it turned out that his comforting words about not worrying when you gave yourself to him were merely pleasantries to get in your pants sooner. He succeeded which earned you your first heartbreak.

He tried to pull the “We can still be friends” card which only made you burrow your feelings further until a close male friend named Johnny managed to coax you into telling him what was wrong. As you told him your side of the story, his face slowly contorted in anger. His face became more sanguine as you poured the feelings you had been storing for the past two months. He comforted you and reassured you that you could do better and you would be able to find better. He allowed you to rest on his lap as his hand patted your hair gently. 

Johnny had always been there through your fits of anger, sad moments, and then, your first heartbreak. You could not have asked for a better male to associate with. You used to be the one who would watch him be confessed to as often as three times in a single month. It amazed you as to how he attracted so many people but you soon found the answer afterward. Of course, Johnny had shown no interest in you as other than a friend but after your break-up, you could not help but see him in a different, if not brighter light. Who knew if you just wanted a rebound or if you wanted Johnny for the guy he was. When you spoke to him, your stomach would act strangely. It was not exactly butterflies but the feeling certainly alerted you further of your feelings for the guy you often ranted to. You trusted him with details that you couldn’t even tell your mother at times.

All through the metastasis of becoming a junior to a senior, your feelings did not subside. If anything, they grew to the extent where you would embarrass yourself in front of him. Although you had often embarrassed yourself in front of him previously, you were new conscious of how much it affected your chances with him. You knew he wouldn’t go for a clumsy girl. His girlfriends had always been the graceful type even when doing the most menial tasks. He had only gotten even better looking which prompted further interest in your best friend. You, however, looked the same if not with deeper bags under your eyes. The only thing that really changed was that you wore your glasses less and contacts more. You had also learned a bit about makeup but found little time to do it before leaving the house.

Time was running out and Johnny was not going to be around forever. If you had something to say, you would have to say it soon. The soonest you could think of at the time was prom but you chose not to go to prom, thinking it to be both a waste of time and money. Instead, you went from museum to museum and ate at two restaurants, trying food you never thought you’d ever consume. You even met some people along the way and made a “friend”. By the time you got home at around one in the morning, you were content with what you had done and were smiling blithely to yourself as you approached the steps to your home.

It wasn’t until the next morning that you noticed the swarm of messages that you received from your friends that went to prom. You smiled at the videos, photos, and messages sent, happy that they all had fun. You were finally at the last set of messages and found them to be not what you expected.

JohnnyBoy [10:46am]: I didn’t think you would actually stay home on prom??

JohnnyBoy [11:20am]: Why didn’t you come?

JohnnyBoy [11:54am]: Bet you would of looked gorgeous…

JohnnyBoy [12:48am]: Is it because you had no date? Not everyone needs a date Y/N

JohnnyBoy [12:59am]: I woulda dropped my date for you y’know

JohnnyBoy [1:02am]: What good what I be if I didn’t for my best friend;)

His needy tone had you staring at your phone for much longer than needed. Some of the texts had actually gotten your hopes up as to the confession you were planning. That was until you read the last message. 

Best friend.

The phrase resonated in your mind as you sighed in disappointment. Of course, it lessened your prospects for a deeper relationship in future. How could it not when it literally put you in a box as to what Johnny thought of you? 

You [10:21]: I had fun. I hope you did too last night

You [10:22]: It wasn’t because I didn’t have a date. It just didn’t seem fun 

You [10:23]: Thanks for the offer though

You sat your phone down on your nightstand before returning to bed. You had to lug the covers over your head because of the bright rays of the sun. You had no school and you were planning on milking the situation the best you could. Even on regular weekends, your mother would wake you up earlier than preferred to make you complete chores before allowing you go back to bed. Knowing that you were almost done with the hell that was high school, she allowed you to sleep in as long as you wanted those days. It was the best feeling to not wake up unwillingly and so you stayed for as long as wanted in the warm blankets that contrasted from the tepid room. 

It was already two in the afternoon when you woke up and it took a while before you realized your parents had gone out. The only thing on your mind was to find food. Any other thought would have to come after. As you shuffled around the kitchen, you prepared the ingredients needed for a sandwich. As you toasted the bread, the front door rang and you briskly walked to open it. Upon its opening, you found Johnny with a broad grin on his face. Your eyes had probably widened to the extent where one would describe it as barmy.

“Hungry?” he asked as he lifted a bag with a picture of a bowl of rice on it.

You only nodded and invited him in before asking why he had visited.

“I’ve been texting you since morning but someone didn’t think it’d be right to respond, apparently.” he quipped.

“I went back to bed and just woke up. I didn’t think about my phone.”

“So, what did you do last night?” he queried as he began to empty the bag set on the kitchen island.

“I went museum hopping and ate out. Much more fun than prom and I spent about the same amount.” 

You smiled to yourself as you remembered the gallivanting of last night. What you hadn’t realized, however, was the way Johnny had looked at you when you smiled. It prompted him to do the same albeit unknowingly.

When he finally set out the food, you were not shy about digging in. No matter how much of a crush you had, that did not prevent you from being the fat ass you usually were. Johnny only continued to smile as you scarfed down as you pleased. You realized a bit too late how you may have looked considering you had woken up not too long ago and then started cramming food down your throat like you had been starving.

“ I’m sorry for eating like that Johnny. Must be the reason why you haven’t touched your food yet.” you apologized as you shied away from his gaze and started eating slower.

“Don’t be sorry. You eat well and I love watching you eat”, he smiled. “It’s very entertaining.”

“Well, I know you didn’t come here to watch me eat. Why’d you come over?”

“Well for one, you weren’t answering my texts.” he began.

“Yeah, sorry. I knocked out right after answering.”

“Can’t blame you. But anyway, second is that I had a question.” he said slight hesitation.

You had set down your food before giving him the go ahead. “Shoot.”

“Do you have a crush on me?” he queried which automatically made you choke on your saliva.

“Excuse me?” you asked as you got yourself a glass of water and coughed.

“Do you have a crush on me?” he reiterated.

You sat back down slowly, chugging the entire glass of water before you looked at the man in front of you. You held his quizzical gaze before taking a deep breath.

“Yes.” you breathed out. “Why do you ask?”

He only let a small, sad smile grace his features before he began to answer you with confidence.

“People have been telling me that they thought you liked me. I didn’t believe it at first but then I started noticing some things.” he answered.

“Guess I suck at hiding things, huh?” you awkwardly chuckled to which he nodded.

“Kind of.” he acknowledged.

“So? Is that it? Are you going to do anything about it?” you asked hopefully although your mind was filled with one answer.

“Y/N, I like you too. Hell, I love you. Just… not like that.”

Although you were expecting it, your heart still sank. You fought back tears as you acquiesced with his decision. 

“But you shouldn’t be hung up on me. You could get any guy you wanted. You just need to put some more effort-” he cajoled before you stopped him.

“It’s fine. I was expecting it. That’s why I wasn’t planning on telling you.” you admitted. “Was that your only question? Is that why you came over?” 

“Well, yeah. I thought it’d be better for you to get it off your chest face to face.”

“And what if I had said no?” 

“I would’ve known you were lying but I would’ve let it go. You would’ve gotten over me.”

“Johnny, you’re usually the smart one. The one that’s always right. So why would you think letting you see me on the brink of tears would be better?” you asked as tears began to emerge in your eyes. You tried to blink them away but that only allowed a few to escape.

“Y/N-”

“I’d like to be alone right now.” you said coldly as a means to tell him to leave.

Johnny suddenly realized that he hadn’t thought everything about this through. He thought that it was a little crush that had been on and off for a few weeks now. When you were rubbing away tears, however, he realized that this crush meant a great deal more than what he assumed. He got up from his seat on the other side of the island and made his way to the front door. You followed him on his way out but moved back a bit when he tried to hug you goodbye. At your apprehensiveness to his hug, Johnny really noticed how he had hurt you more than intended although none was ever intended.

“Call me when you feel better?” he asked as he stepped outside.

“I’ll try.” you sniffed as you wiped your face with your sweater sleeve and closed the door.

You cried nice and hard that day. Instead of binge eating, you refused to consume anything. The day that you were to go back to school was one you dreaded. It was not you to skip school for bad reasons and you did not want to end the year that way. You had avoided all contact with Johnny. At school, however, you shared half of your classes with him. There was no getting away from his acquisitive nature.

You flipped your hood over your head as you walked in the classroom. Although you were lucky you did not have to see him until third period, you did not want anyone to see how terrible you probably looked.

As the day went by, you could not help but dread the moment you would have to face him. Not only had he tried to reject you in the nicest way but you also ignored his concern after the fact. Johnny was indeed one of the most caring people you knew yet you were acting like this.

All day, you had done nothing and the same went for third period. It was so close to graduation that your professors let you do as you pleased, seeing as though there were still a few of you who came. When you walked in, you were met with Johnny. More specifically, Johnny smiling at a girl he had been talking to for a while. He had confided in you that he liked her and thought that she reciprocated his feelings. The memory only made your stomach churn even worse than before you stepped foot in the classroom. You kept your head low, wanting nothing more than to sit on your phone like you had done the past few hours and waste time instead of confronting the problem. The problem would solve itself. It would go away if you ignored it.

For the first thirty minutes of the period, it actually seemed as though your plan was working. Your earbuds were in and you were trying to take a nap when your phone vibrated in your lap. You took the phone out and looked at your screen, thinking it was a notification from social media.

Johnny [12:54pm]: Hey, do you want to meet up after school?

Johnny [12:54pm]: I’ll treat you to whatever you want

The message made your heart pound solid against your chest. You looked behind you to see Johnny looking back with an unreadable expression on his face which made you both embarrassed and confused.

You [1:00pm]: I’m not hungry. Just meet me at the park by my house

You set your phone on do not disturb and laid your head back down on your desk, not daring to look back at whatever face he was making. You just needed to get through the rest of the day. And hey, maybe talking about it would give you closure.

You sat at the park, waiting for him. As soon as school was let out, you raced for the park. Johnny probably had something to do so you thought it best to leave without him and wait. Wait for the further heartbreak and possibly a portend of closure. You waited and waited.

He never came.

You waited three hours for someone who did not plan to come.

Why not? He was the one who wanted to talk. He was the one who had been contacting you the entire weekend. He was the one who made you feel as if for once you had a chance even with someone seemingly out of your league. He was the one who gave you false hope when you thought there was still a chance for you to finish strong! To finally move on! So why didn’t he want to talk then?

You trudged home, limp. At the very least, it wasn’t raining. It wasn’t dark. I wasn’t terribly cold. Just a slight, mocking breeze. Birds chirped, children played, people happily walked. All was happy. All was normal. Except you. 

Whatever mess of feelings you felt at the time were something worse than your first breakup. Something you couldn’t compare. Yet instead of blaming him as you should have, you stuck with questioning his actions which came back to you. What had you done? Had he been fed up with asking how you were? Was he ready to move on from you? The questions hung with you until you got home. Until you sat in your bed and stared at your phone, hoping he would explain why he had done as he had.

Nothing came. No one called. Not even one text.

He ignored you. As if you had not existed. As if the two of you had not been friends. You watched as he got another girlfriend. Another stunning, picture-perfect student. Volunteer work, great grades, even a bit of commercial modeling on the side. One you would expect for him. You sat through graduation with a heavy heart as each of you were called. Instead of a graduation party, you secluded yourself in your room for a week. You came in and out of the house. You still had your fun. You heard that Johnny’s graduation party was fun. You weren’t invited though so you couldn’t have known.

Your mom had been asking about him yet all you could answer was “I’m not sure”, or “I don’t know”. You didn’t know anymore. You just breezed through the time. Your summer break was over and it was almost time for university. In freshman year, you were excited. Higher knowledge was always an exciting subject for you. By sophomore year, you were tired. You went out with your friends when you could but it was not as often. Now in your junior year once again, you barely went to those stupid parties. You missed having fun though. You had the first of a few one night stand in sophomore year and you could’ve sworn that it was one of the most exhilarating things to ever happen to you.

Now, here you were, grumbling about not having a boyfriend and remembering the hurt of the past. It was time stop being pathetic.

You took a shower and put on black, leather skirt that was a bit higher than mid-thigh. A black turtleneck bodysuit was under it. Matched with a pair of black thigh high heels, you wondered why you didn’t dress like this more often. It was certainly something that took away your insecurities. After some dark makeup, wanting to be bolder than usual, you left your shared apartment with the idea that you would definitely get someone’s attention.

You skipped the idea of the frat house party house party and automatically went to a club. You hadn’t been to one for so long that it was hard to believe you were in one at the moment. A drink or two in and you were still seated at the bar, watching people dance and have fun. Maybe you should have invited someone to come with you. You were contemplating on dancing when a cute stranger sat next to you at the bar. Under the neon lights, it was hard to inspect him thoroughly but from the big eyes to the sharp jawline, you could tell you already liked this guy.

“Can I buy you a drink?” he asked as he looked you up and down, unabashedly.

“Sure.” you nodded before ordering an Old-Fashioned to which he ordered the same.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing, sitting alone?” he questioned.

“Looking for fun, I guess.” you answered before grabbing a hold of your drink.

“I could show you a fun time if you’re up for it?” he sipped as he raised an eyebrow in challenge.

“What did you have in mind?” you asked as a handsome smirk graced his features

He only chugged the rest of his whiskey before holding out his hand to you. You did the same before delicately placing your hand in his. He led you to the dance floor and moved along with you under the flashes of red and green in the club. Close bodies became sweatier as you had a good time dancing with him. Eventually, a time came when he wanted to change up the tempo. Grabbing your hips, he slowly ground into you which prompted you to wrap your arms around his neck.

“I don’t even know your name yet, handsome.” you addressed.

“Taeyong. I would’ve thought you’d recognized me, Y/N. I’m disappointed.” he pouted a bit.

Taeyong? The name sounded familiar but you could not pinpoint where you remembered it from. You furrowed your eyebrows, trying to remember seeing the gorgeous specimen in front of you somewhere previously. Taeyong made it harder, though, when he managed to wedge his thigh in between your legs as you danced. You bit your lip, continuing to wonder where you had heard the name.

“I bet all you can remember is braces and bad hair. As you can see, however, I’ve grown.” he added when you started to tug at the hair at the nape of his neck.

“In more ways than one.” 

That was it. Taeyong from last year. During sophomore year you had a project with Taeyong. He did more than his share of work even though you told him you had everything under control. He was what you would’ve described as the cutest nerd you had ever seen. His smile showed off his braces and it always prompted you to do the same when you saw him. He wore the same style as you for the most part which consisted of hoodies and jeans. He was such a kind guy which made you feel bad when you allowed him to do more work than he needed to. You were fine with the workload and felt as if you were burdening him but he was unyielding. On the last day that you spent together, celebrating the completion of the project, you bought him coffee and sent him off with a friendly kiss on the cheek. His red face made you giggle as you said goodbye but you never got a speak afterward.

He had been working out. He got his braces taken off. He was definitely more confident which revamped him from a cutie to one of the hottest guys you had seen in your three years as of yet.

“You really did change.” you breathed out as he pulled your head back a bit by your hair and started kissing your neck.

There, on the dance floor, you were practically fucking with your clothes on. His hum reverberated in your neck which made you moan lowly at the feeling.

“You want to show me how much?” you challenged.

The man only smirked at you again before he had led you to a booth. Here, the music of the open floor was muffled, although the vibrations of the beat could still be felt. The room had an intense red light that shone all over the room. His eyes inspected your body as you stood there almost awkwardly. Were you going to have to make the first move this time? Taeyong had obviously started this interaction with the intent of claiming you for the night. Now, he sat in front of you, anticipating what you would say or do next with that cocksure smirk on his face.

Taking the chance to be more assertive, you sauntered towards his seated figure and turned around before sitting down on his lap. This surprised Taeyong a bit but he showed no signs of helping you. You took his hands and let them stay on your hips before you started slowly grinding forwards and backward. Taeyong enjoyed your teasing before he chose to move a well. His hands slowly made your way to your exposed thighs, parting them enthusiastically as you continued. You smiled to yourself as his hands moved again- one towards your chest while the other went underneath your skirt. You only allowed him one soft squeeze before closing your legs and standing up again to straddle him instead.

“Impressive so far.” you sassed as he grasped your thighs.

“Had to become impressive to earn this privilege, didn’t I?” he asked as he found the zipper on the side of your skirt and unzipped it completely. “To be able to fuck you like I’ve wanted to.” he grunted as he unsnapped the opening of your bodysuit.

“You wanted to fuck me?” you raised your eyebrows at the confession.

“And have those pretty lips on mine? Damn right.” he laughed.

“Where else did you want these lips?” you bit your lip as his hands squeezed your ass.

“Second place would have to be on my cock.” he whispered low and dangerously to which you moaned. “Maybe even while mine were tasting that pretty pussy. But we have to be quick so I can’t- not tonight.”

You nodded and complied as he pushed your panties to the side and moved his fingers up and down your slit.

“Looks like you’re ready for me, baby.” he smiled as you started pushing down his pants and boxers. You pulled his cock out and reveled in it. The head was incarnadine, making you almost salivate at the sight while each vein in it pulsated.

You licked your lips before standing up and lowering yourself on him. You basked in the feeling of being full since it had been so long. Taeyong’s groans only spurned you into moving. You looked at his expression and could not help but indulge in the sexy expression. His head was thrown back as he bit his lip in bliss. Your gaze shifted down towards his impressive jawline until it came to his strong, pristine neck. You made it a point to tarnish the untouched skin.

You began to bounce up and down, eliciting a hiss from the male under you. The rhythm started to pick up as Taeyong found purchase on your hips and helped pull you up and down. You nipped constantly at his neck before the two of you shared an ardent kiss which involved a clash of tongue and teeth. Your lipstick was probably all over him as you pulled him closer by the back of his head. You could tell that you were close. Apart from the panting in between the clashing of mouths, high whines began to recur more frequently.

Taeyong was whispering the most enticing expletives to you which only brought you closer with each new fantasy. The release of pressure was only that much greater with the descent of your orgasm. You allowed Taeyong to continue to move you, making sure that he got his as well. He pulled you off of him right before he was about to finish and you watched with heavy, lidded eyes as he pumped his cock.

His cum landed on your black body suit but you couldn’t have cared less. As he slowly finished riding out his orgasm, you giggled at his fucked out face. A smile slowly made its way onto his face as you hooked your index finger under his chin and kissed him again. This time, slower but there was still passion nonetheless. As you pulled away, you saw the slightest movement of his head following your lips.

“Better than I could have ever imagined.” he concluded in a breathy voice.

It only made me you smile like a fool as you stood up and began to fix yourself.

“Much better than I would’ve thought.” you mused. “Didn’t expect to get cum on my shirt though.” you joked.

“Oh! Sorry! I’ll get something to clean it up. Don’t move.” he said before tucking himself back into his pants and walking out of the compact room. You left your skirt off because the stain and sticky feeling was lower than the waistline of it. You looked at yourself using your phone camera and tried to wipe away the smudged parts of your lipstick. Waiting patiently, you looked around the room, now sober enough and not clouded with lust to think about your surroundings. The door finally opened, making you light up, thinking Taeyong had come back. Your smile automatically dropped when you saw another couple, stumbling in with their lips locked. They hadn’t noticed you as they staggered about, desperately devouring each other. You thought it would be better to gather your things before alerting them of your presence.

As you were about to say something, the door swung open and Taeyong came rushing in a handful of napkins.

“They only had-” Both him and the couple stared at each other before resting their eyes on you.

“Sorry. I- I was just leaving.” you stuttered.

“You were so busy, that you couldn’t tell that someone else was already in the room?” Taeyong directed towards the guy on the edge of the couch you were seated on just a few minutes ago.

“Sorry. I was too busy. She didn’t seem to mind watching though.” he sneered but you were too embarrassed to look in his direction. “Did you, sweetheart?”

“I wasn’t watching. I just wanted to get dressed and get out as soon as possible, thanks.” you muttered before moving towards Taeyong’s side.

“Don’t be a dick, Johnny.” he spat before pulling you closer by the small of your back.

You paid no mind to the name and glanced over to where a tall male with honey brown hair stood with a mischievous smile. When your eyes rested upon the male, they must have blown out of proportion at which his expression mirrored yours. There stood the guy who walked past you and paid no mind to how you felt about it. The man who allowed you to believe that you meant less than nothing after he made you feel as if you were on top of the world. Correction; the spineless, brainless, idiot that taught you not to put yourself in the same situation.

“Y/N?” he asked in disbelief, forgetting about both his date and his friend.

“Taeyong, can we go?” you asked almost desperately, tugging on his shirt.

“Sure, let’s go.” he said as he pulled you closer to him.

“Y/N.” Johnny said more firmly this time.

You only ignored him but it prompted Taeyong’s interest. He could obviously see how uncomfortable you were, however, so he just walked quicker with you in hand.

“Y/N! I know you can hear me!” he yelled as he tugged on your arm.

You only jerked it away to finally face the man right in front of the entrance of the club.

“You. I don’t want to talk to you. I certainly don’t want to see your face. Just… just leave me alone.” you firmly said as you dragged Taeyong off with you.  In the parking lot, you stood still, trying to calm your pounding heart.

“Want me to take you home?” Taeyong asked assuredly.

“That would be wonderful, yes.” you said as he led you to his car.

Once you began driving, Taeyong couldn’t help but begin the myriad amount of questions.

“So… how do you know Johnny? Ex-friend? Ex-boyfriend?”

“I guess,” you chuckled. “We just know each other from high school. It’s been a few years. Friendship kind of died off.”

“Oh. Sorry for that.” he mumbled as his eyes stayed on the road. “For both Johnny and your shirt.” he elaborated which made you laugh.

“It’s cool. I could always send you my dry-cleaning bill.”

“How about you leave it with your number of course, and I’ll call when it’s ready to pick up?”

“Sounds like a plan.” you happily complied with his flirting.

He dropped you off at your home but not before getting both your number and a good night kiss. You smiled to yourself as you walked up the stairs to your apartment complex. You were in such a stupor that you hadn’t noticed the car that had followed behind you since the club. The sleek black vehicle only drove away after ten minutes after you entered the building. You had no idea that it would be back again.

Taeyong had texted you the following morning. You hadn’t slept during the night but talking to him actually took your mind off of Johnny. You didn’t realize that he had become such an ass. His attitude was obviously a confident one. Much more so than when you knew him. People change. You knew that. You just never expected him to change so much. He wasn’t worth your time. You had to stop thinking about him and the asshat he had become.

Unknown [11:54am]: Hey, guess who?

You [11:55am]: I’m not sure. Who is this?

Unknown [11:56am]: Oh um it’s Taeyong

Taeyong [11:56am]: You gave me your number last night?

You [11:57am]: I know lol

You [11:57am]: I’m sorry for playing with you like that

Taeyong [11:57am]: You really scared me! I deserve a better apology than that!

You [11:58am]: How about coffee today? At 3?

Taeyong [11:59am]: It’s a date. I’ll pick you up:)

It surprised you to no end that Taeyong could still manage to be so sweet when just last night, his assertiveness got you wet in little to no time. Just the thought of what went down last night had you biting your lip and wondering what else he had in store for you.

As you left the confine of your room, you were met with your roommate already using the shower.

“Hey, where’d you go last night? You came home later than me,” she whined. “If you were at another party, why didn’t you invite me?”

“I just went out for a bit. Don’t worry about it.” you chuckled before beginning to brush your teeth.

You had to look decent today. In fact, you had to look great today. Seeing as how Taeyong looked, you had to raise your usual standard. Maybe it was a sign. A sign that you needed to get off your ass and start pursuing people with a positive attitude and more effort. After last night’s effort’s you were finally engaging with someone and that was what mattered. Johnny was no one to cogitate about. You didn’t have time to be hung up on him again. Taeyong would be the main priority. He would be the harbinger of good news.

It was all going well. In fact, it had gone much better than you thought it would have so far. Although you were the one who offered to buy coffee, Taeyong kept insisting that he be the one to pay for it. You talked, caught up, and laughed. There was still something that you itched to say but found it hard to bring up. Finally, you found the courage to tell him.

“Taeyong, you look… great.” you started which made his smile broaden.

“Thanks. So do you.”

“But I just want you to know that it’s not why we’re on a date today,” you continued. “I always thought you were cute it’s just… last night, you were assertive and we clicked. I really don’t want you to think I’m here for shallow reasons.” you admitted.

“Oh, I know.” he laughed.

“And how would you know?” you inquired while you took a sip of your coffee.

“You remember what I said last night, don’t you? I knew I didn’t have a chance and at first, I thought it was because I was the stereotypical nerd but I realized that you just didn’t seem to like anyone. Surprising, seeing as how many guys were after you but-”

You almost spit your coffee out at that line. “There were guys after me?”

“Well, of course…”

You began to burst into laughter.

“Wow, that’s hilarious.” you chuckled as the laughter died down and you wiped a tear from your eye.

Taeyong’s expression, however, told you that he wasn’t joking.

“Oh? You’re serious.” you frowned.

“Do you think that lowly of yourself?” he asked in true curiosity and a hint of pity.

“No… It’s just hard to believe some things. I haven’t ever really been sought after.” you sighed.

“Well I went after you last night, didn’t I?”

“Yeah. Says a lot, considering you could do better.” you sadly smiled.

“Do I have to fuck the idea that you’re sexy back into you?” he asked in a low voice that made you straighten up.

“I wouldn’t mind.” you mumbled making him playfully growl at you.

“Sexual acts and jokes aside; you’re beautiful. It’s true. If you want another opinion, I can call up a friend.” he said, while pulling his phone out.

“You’re joking,” you snickered as you watched him shake his head. “It’s ringing.”

Taeyong put the phone on speaker and it rung a few times before a deep voice on the other line picked up.

“What do you want?” he asked irritably.

“I need your opinion on something and don’t hold anything back. Do you think Y/N is hot?” he inquired casually as he grinned at you.

“What kind of question was that? Yeah, she’s hot. Aren’t going on a date with her? Why would you if she’s not hot?”

“What about her is so attractive?”

“Her legs, her eyes, her ass, wow, I could go on. She even has this tiny mole near her left collarbone and it drives me crazy.” his friend said.

Your cheeks heated up at his analysis of your body. It boosted your confidence yet also gave you a gross feeling to be spoken about in that manner. It surprised you that he knew about your mole, though. You didn’t think many of the clothes you wore would allow anyone to see such a small detail about you. You didn’t even think you allowed people to come close enough too see it. It was strange the stranger had checked you out enough to remember it’s location, much less its existence.

“A mole? Hm, didn’t notice.” Taeyong commented as he bent over the table for a closer inspection.

“How was last night, by the way? How did you fuck her? How wet was she? Did you take control?” he bombarded him with questions that only made him blush, thankful that there were no passersby who would hear this.

“None of your business.” he grunted.

“Wish it could’ve been. I’ve always wanted to do the nastiest things to her. She seems so pure, doesn’t she?”

“Hey, I don’t think you should be talking about her like that.” Taeyong firmly said, putting an end to his friend’s tirade.

“Anyway, where are you guys meeting for your date?” the stranger asked queerly.

“I’ll tell you later, bye.” he promised before hanging up. “Sorry about him. He’s very blunt.” he tried to explain which only made him even more flustered. “I’ve never spoken about you that way, don’t worry.”

“I know. You’re too sweet to.” you replied.

The date went without a hitch and so did the next one as well as the one after that. After a few more dates and great amount of your time spent texting each other, Taeyong asked you to be his girlfriend. Although your exterior was as cool, inside, you were screaming like a school girl. Taeyong brought the best out of you. He made you want to dress better and become more social. The two of you still didn’t go to parties much, knowing it wasn’t your thing.

One night, Taeyong had gone to a party that you weren’t feeling up to. You sat in your room, wondering what you should do. Boredom overtook you and you ended up doing what every bored adult does. Masturbating. Taeyong wold probably rush over as fast as he could if you had texted him and let know that you were horny but it had been a while since you were left to your thoughts with no one else to satisfy you. It was a nice change of pace, to be honest.

As you slipped out of Taeyong’s borrowed joggers, you thought back to the man you were lucky to call your own now. The idea of his warm nature quickly transformed just like he seemed to do at intimate times. His bright smile that shone at you during the day soon became the sexy smirk he wore at night. The way his brown eyes tinted black when he became lustful. Everything about him was a turn-on, especially how much of a gentleman he became once his rough, dominant nature subsided. It was wonderful. Taeyong was a beautiful mix.

You thought about your gorgeous boyfriend as you let your hand glide down your body and into your panties. You sat propped against the wall on the side of your bed as you let two of your fingers roll your clit gently. As you continued however, the feeling of your panties were too sticky against your sweaty skin. You took them off and went back to work, playing with yourself with your legs spread wide. By the time you finished, the room was entirely too hot for you. You stood up and took off your shirt, thinking that a shower was in order. Once you came back, you went to open your window and let in some fresh air but as you approached your window you were frightened when you caught a glimmer of something outside. If you moved too quick, it could have been missed completely. It took effort to even maintain sight of the position it was in. When you opened the window and reached for the object, you came to realize it was a camera.

A camera.

Someone had been filming you. In your room as you slept, changed your clothes, studied, hung out, and now, as you got off. The thought made you wretch, wondering who would have planted it by your window? The fire escape was not something you would have wanted to be on unless it was an emergency. You wanted to destroy the infernal device but could not, thinking that if you brought it to the police, it might lead you to the pervert who planted the microscopic object.

Thoughts of what the footage could be used for were running through your mind. What if someone was selling it- selling you off? What if it was a pervert who planted multiple and was using girls as porn? What if it was a stalker? Fear of whatever was going on took over and you ran out of your room while yelling your roommate’s name.

“Y/N? What is it?” she asked when you stormed in her room and alerted her of what you had found.

“Okay, first, we should call the police. I’ve heard of these things. They can send footage wirelessly or the culprit has to come back and get it. If he does, we’ll catch the bastard.” she instructed. 

You nodded frantically and called the police, frightened to no extent. You even called Taeyong after the police had come and confiscated the camera. He rushed over and comforted you the best he could as your ceaseless tears continued to flow. Of course, you were too frightened to sleep in your room so he brought blankets and pillows for you two to sleep in the living room.

“It’s okay. We’ll find who did this and when we do, I’ll make sure to kick his ass.” he promised as your tears slowly diminished into hiccups.

If Taeyong kept true to his promise, you were going to make sure to be there along side him, serving the justice you knew you deserved.

Days went by and campus police had warned of the suspected pervert. Many other females took precautionary measures including you. Covering your window and locking everything was just the minimum. It had all calmed down as two weeks went by yet the fear of being watched still stuck with you.

One night as you walked home from a gathering of friends, you could have sworn there were footsteps behind you. When you turned around, you saw a lanky man walking as well. As it was winter, their scarf covered their face as they continued walking while looking at their phone. Paying no mind to it, you continued your trek back to the apartment. As time progressed however, it seemed as though he was going in the exact same direction as you. Being a little paranoid, you took a detour. Instead of going straight, you took a left and entered a neighborhood you were not very familiar with. The stranger followed tout suite. His head was no longer staring at his phone when you turned back but was instead staring back at you. His eyes held a mischievous glimmer which only made you fearful of what he was capable of.

As you continued through the twists and turns of the neighborhood, you eventually ended in a dead end and began to panic as you saw the man slowly approaching. You contemplated Scaling the fence behind you but you were in heeled boots which seemed too large to climb with. Surprisingly, the last thought you had was to call Taeyong. He knew of all the places on and near campus. Hopefully, he would find you. As you turned and called the memorized number, you could hear the shuffling of gravel. You turned to look the stranger in the face and see his eyes turn up as if he was smiling underneath the large scarf.

Taeyong did not pick up and your frenzy only grew. You tried calling the police next but the stranger snatched your phone as you tried to make some space between you.

“You only get one call, princess. Should’ve called the cops first.”

“What do you want? Money? I don’t have any on me.” you nervously said.

“Oh, I don’t want money. I want you.” he cooed.

“I have a boyfriend. And you’e going to be sorry when he hears about this.”

“Thing is, he won’t hear about it. Not if you want me to keep that video of you from going viral.”

“What video?”

“Oh, don’t be stupid. When I went back to get my camera, you already found it. Good thing the footage was already saved. And believe me, there’s still more you don’t know about.” he hummed.

“Now,” he said as he took a step closer to which you moved back. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Which would you prefer?”

“Neither.” you finally said before kicking the man in the shin. He dropped your phone and hissed in pain. You were able to grab the device to find a small crack in it. It still worked, nonetheless.

You ran around him and out of the alley, screaming for help as you bounded. It didn’t seem as though he was following you anymore but that only made your heart race faster, not knowing where he was. No one came out to help, seeing as though it was nearly one in the morning already but you managed to make it out of the neighborhood and sprinted the best you could in your boots. You managed to make it to your apartment and ran into your room, already tearing everything up to find where he may have placed more cameras.

You found one on the lamp at your desk, another by the mirror next your closet, and one more by the window. You crushed them all under your heel then breathed deeply, looking at the mess you had made and cried hysterically. Was that it? Please, say that was it.

As you sank on your bed and continued to look around, a call came on your phone from an unknown number. You automatically declined. It called again but you declined. When the same number called a third time, you finally picked up, yelling “Yes?!”

“You missed one.” the raspy voice said on the other side as you looked witlessly around the room.

“What do you want?” you began to sob as the voice chuckled.

“Told you, princess. I want you.”

“What does that even mean?” you cried into the phone, covering your face.

“I’ve always wanted you to be mine. But then Taeyong came along. So we’re going to show him who you belong to.” he said bitterly.

“I’m not yours!” you yelled into the phone.

“Oh, but you are. Now, we’re going to have a little fun if you don’t want Taeyong to get hurt or your fellow classmates to see you having fun with yourself, okay?”

You nodded reluctantly before listening to what he had to say.

“You’re going to do a strip-tease for me. Get to it, princess.”

“I’m not getting naked for you.” you warily muttered.

“What was that? Send the video?”

You sniffed as you stood up and took off your jacket and the sweater underneath.

“Now we both know you can do better than that.” he growled, making you flinch.

You reluctantly took off your shirt and jeans after a while, leaving you in your underwear. You tried to cover yourself as much as possible with your hands.

“Now isn’t that a pretty sight? Why don’t you give me a spin?” he smugly said to which you turned in a robotical way, in place. “There’s that beautiful mole. that I love. You should show it off more. It’s one of my favorite things about you.” he complimented and you felt as if you were going to throw up.

“I guess that’s it for tonight. Not the worst thing that have happened, was it, Y/N?”

You only tried to put on your pajamas as quickly as you could before exiting the room.

“Sweet dreams.” he wished before hanging up. You sunk onto the couch, crying your eyes out at what you just been forced to do. You could have refused but he threatened to hurt Taeyong. He threatened to expose your intimate time and now he had even more for the spank bank. Your head was light and you felt weary as a strange detail of his commentary came to mind. You couldn’t sleep, knowing that someone had broken into your room to commit such horrible acts. You had been violated and no one else knew. Your roommate was gone, spending the night with her boyfriend while you still wondered about where yours was.

Ten in the morning rolled around when you chose to arise from your spot on the couch. You had slept none, wanting to nullify or finalize your suspicion against something that happened before.

You called Taeyong, hoping he would be up and you sighed in relief when it turned out that he was.

“Taeyong, I have a very important question.”

“Go ahead.” he spurned in a groggy voice.

“On our first date, who did you call to say I was hot?”

“It was… Johnny.” he replied after some thought. “Why?”

“Sorry for disturbing you. Go back to sleep.” you quickly said before hanging up and making a call to the unknown number.

“Good morning princess. Hope you slept well.” he yawned.

“Cut the shit, Johnny. You’re going to jail and then I’m going to make sure hell is next.” you threatened.

“Wow. Impressive deductive skills. How’d you find me out?”

“Why does it matter? All that matters is that I know who to get a restraining order against and who to file a police report against.”

“I still have your videos. You want them exposed?”

“Do what you want. All I care about is you being locked up now.” you iterated before hanging up.

You immediately set out for the police station, paying no mind to your disheveled appearance. As you spoke about your current case, the officer warned that they could not trace the camera back to determined IP code. You told him about the disturbing experience you had the night before and suggested that they acquire a warrant before checking it out. You allowed them to take your phone to try to trace back the phone number as well but the number was led to some old phone that seemingly had no determined names attached to the phone company.

After a while of waiting in fear and avoiding all contact with those outside of your apartment, they finally caught him. With the help of the warrant, the police were able to check out Johnny’s dorm and although he did a good job at hiding everything, he wasn’t immaculate in a clean up. When his laptop had been taken to the station, it took a while of trying to get rid of the encryption he had on a file but they finally found it. A video of you uncomfortably in your underwear, playing his game. His arrest was no small matter but it finally allowed you freedom to come out with what he had done and tried to do to you.

Taeyong blamed himself when he found out about his former friend’s horrible deeds but it was not his fault. He didn’t know what had been going on but had gotten a weird feeling when you obviously did not want to see Johnny as time went on but he constantly asked about you.

“It isn’t fair!” he yelled in court. “I had her first! She was wrapped around my little finger. I don’t know where he came in the picture but it was ridiculous that she ended up with him!”

You didn’t want to even look at him so you didn’t go to the court hearing. Your room mate had gone and told you what he had been ranting about in court.

“Thank goodness he never came.” you muttered to yourself as you reminisced about the moment he did not give you the time of day.

“Who never came?” Taeyong asked as he pulled you closer with his arm around you.

“I don’t want to even think about it,” you shivered. “I get chills. The bad kind.”

“I’ll be here to warm you up.” he whispered into your hair.

“I know.” you smiled.

He would keep you from remembering the chill of that winter. Spring was already underway and all you wanted to do was bury the past under that winter weather. The cold, the cameras, the memory; gone.

[roezlf]

A Letter From Home About Sound and Consciousness

Dear "Blue" Gene,

As I sit here writing you this letter I'm listening to the sound of the midnight train as it moves and changes across the hills. It reminds me of you as it travels to the back of my mind. Now that's a pretty weird idea. I don't know why it should remind me of you. Sometimes I just listen and it doesn't remind me of anything. It seems to create the space in time in which it moves. It comes from nowhere. Anyway, I'm getting off the subject. I really wrote to tell you that the bar we used to play at has changed hands again. Do you remember how everyone got together and danced until dawn, just like a religion? It took an hour to get the tunes out of your head. Then we got stoned and in that presence we'd talk about our crazy ideas. I remember you said that a child growing up, the growth of the feeling of being inside yourself, and the sound changing over space and time were similar experiences. Their motions had the same shape. Oh boy.

Speaking of younger people, your cousin is growing up fast. When he was four months old he was sucking his thumb and waving his arms and after a year he was grabbing hold of blankets and rugs, pulling things toward himself and seeing how close he could get. We must have seemed like pictures on TV. Soon he started talking and opened his mouth wide to describe something big, breathing heavily in and out. To him each breath was like a thought. When he was one year old somebody would yawn in the room and he wouldn't. He would describe things that weren't anywhere near him. An idea he heard one day he would describe as his own on the next. When he was two or three-and-a-half years old he talked to his imaginary companion. Now he's twelve and imagines everything connected to everything else. The more defined a situation gets, the more he spaces out. I guess he wonders if his life is supposed to be a story. But of course he was five when out of the blue he started to speak Polish and recall his past lives. That certainly wasn't in the books. Sometimes you imagine you're in the music and sometimes you're apart from it. I remember the time the band gave your name, "Blue" Gene. There was a feeling that trouble was built into you. Like they say, "In your dreams". Both you and I know you're no victim of circumstance.

Of course you do get obsessed and at those times what you want to know gets drawn toward you. How close can you get? Ghosts appear mostly in February. How do you describe something which is invisible and unknowable? When the train goes by, what should I pay attention to? The sound, or what I see, or what goes on in my mind or maybe all three of them at once? Three guesses. A coincidence. A connection outside the connection inside. It's so beautiful to see someone thinking. Consider four-billion people walking around with slightly different things in their heads at any given moment. When you're in this country all the images that support living in the city disappear. The day before you left on that midnight train was the day we made up that weird theory about a history of consciousness. Of course it was just as arbitrary as any history and started twelve-thousand years in the past. The people are peaceful, there's no government, and nothing is an example of anything. There are no words for past, present, future or madness. It's always the first time. However, there is a voice that appears to each of them, barely the sting, softly in between the other sounds of living. One side of the brain in each person is slowly sending pulses through to the other side. It is inevitable, according to this ordered out theory, that an imaginary space somewhere in the back of your mind gets gets occupied by someone called "I" who floats around in the same space it has created. Then we skipped a few thousand years to watch that unidentified inner voice become embodied in the voice of the ruler. Statues were in the center of town just like today. Images of ancestors with large eyes. Eye-to-eye contact. Time ceases to exist. A younger and older man. A younger and older woman. Eye-to-eye contact. Mother and child. When you talk about love everyone's an authority.

Eight-thousand or maybe six-thousand years ago when young women were possessed oracles and older men were hot-blooded prophets for telling the future, their message was delivered in steady rhythmic verses. Always the same rhythm no matter what language. From one side of the brain to the other. From invisible heaven to foggy earth. This was sunlight inside and outside without yawning or blinking. You can send your consciousness anywhere and in the prophet's eyes the ideas on the periphery of his vision frame what he sees. The possibilities are beats of light constantly changing intensity. He imagines the experience as always the same and always entirely out of control somewhere out there. Every eleven-and-eleven-hundredths years there is a cycle of increased sun spot activity. Every eleven-and-tenths years there is a cycle of mass human excitability. If something went one way, and if the space were somehow closed off, the idea was that something had to go the other way. There are so many cycle you could just as well see the changes as random. Someone called it peaceful coexistence. They way the waves travel through the same medium, the water, and cross through each other transparently without destruction. The rest of the story, "Blue", was that the outside voices began to be heard inside forty-one-hundred or maybe thirty-seven-hundred years ago. People started to write laws down and make treaties. The world was pictured in sets of two and the ideas of history, motives, and strategies were dreamed up. This went along with war, life stories, and authorities from outer space. On the periphery of this country someone made up the notion that you could change yourself by changing your consciousness without connections beyond contradictions. His blood pressure was highest at three in the afternoon and lowest at three in the morning. When he started singing with his friends someone would remember just the words and someone would remember just the tunes. Two points in space but three types of connections. When they went out on a date each of them imagined his and her mom and dad would come along. A steady structure, a complete decision with only four moves. Yes and no on the first possibility, yes and no on the other one. Did he need that image outside to have that feeling inside?

I wonder if I have changed since I was young. Or has it always been this way? I guess I want a vision beyond consciousness. The way a culture takes twenty years to catch up to what can occur in a flash to one person. Someone who's done his thinking before he realizes it. I can accept the way I pay attention to things even if every ninety-six minutes I get an urge to talk, eat, or kiss somebody. Yes, just anybody, "Blue". And I start to pay attention to the miracles that I do know about. You know, I never set the alarm and I always wake up on time. Even in a thunderstorm my mother would wake up only when she hears a baby cry. When I play a piece on the piano once it goes on rehearsing by itself and its easier to play the next time and there are the coincidences and the invisible ideas that will reveal themselves any time you start to go through the motions. Are they really out there, "Blue"? Going to the center of town by calculating spirals which run down, going to the center of town randomly. All the energy is mysteriously conserved as the bird flies. From time to time I feel another world growing up among the one I experience every day and it seems no conclusions can be drawn about anyone's eventual fate. Sometimes I put my fingertips on the top of my eyes and apply pressure slightly. Then the pressure is released and flashes of light still remain floating among the forms that are shaped like networks. That pressure to move the lights is the same as taking on any idea to move my body. One side of my brain keeps rambling on to write you this letter while the other side is setting it to rhythmic music migrating from fundamental harmonics to the harmonics of those harmonics, building its own bridge. Part of light, to a molecule, to fluorescence, to warmth, to my body and its rhythms and back again. We're not attached or separate in space. Slipping in between the pulses of consciousness. UFO's appear mostly in April coinciding with the sudden appear and disappearance of the stars. But anyway, its always the first time.

This train is lit by the luminescence of the town and the faint warning light from the light it gives off. That light defines the area all around the train just as your love defines the way you see the life closest to you. Is that too corny, "Blue"? Well, you know, that's how we are here. Write soon.

[stillgeekingout]

so uh... guess who’s back that’s right, it’s the ultimate aaron milverton crossover fic! sorry it’s been so long I’ve been very busy. pls accept my deepest apologies in the form of this chapter

(tw death mention) previous chapters:  1 here, 2 here, 3 here, 4 here, 5 here, 6 here, 7 here, 8 here, 9 here, 10 here, 11 here, 12 here, 13 here

-----

For the second time, Aaron picked Chad up at the airport.

Picking up a boy he had been crushing on who had sworn off dating was worlds different from picking up his long distance boyfriend. He had nothing to be stressed about this time, only excited.

The Orlando airport was full of people flying home after Christmas. Aaron navigated through clumps of families towards Chad’s gate. His heart was pounding.

He watched as wave after wave of people exited the gate before finally…

“Chad!!” He didn’t care about the people around him who looked when he yelled out. Chad rushed to him as fast as the crowd and his luggage would allow, then flung his arms around Aaron’s neck. Aaron wrapped him into a tight hug.

“It’s so good to see you, man,” he said into Chad’s ear. “I missed you.”

Chad pulled back and gave Aaron a quick kiss. “I missed you too, babe!” Aaron looked around, flustered. He wasn’t embarrassed, exactly, but kissing in an airport seemed weird. But he grabbed Chad’s hand anyway and they walked to his car together.

------

Rachel spent Christmas morning with her parents and then went to a party with her cousin who lived in town. It was nice. Her cousin’s friends were cool, she always meant to hang out with them more. Her cousin had tried to film her for a youtube video she was making, but Rachel asked her to leave that part out. The last thing she needed was to be in more vlogs.

Blair had deleted Hamlet’s videos without asking questions, for which Rachel was immensely grateful. (She suspected it was less that Blair respected her privacy and more that she genuinely didn’t care, but the outcome was the same regardless.) It was such a weight off her shoulders knowing she wouldn’t go back and obsess over them during moments of weakness. And, more importantly, she could feel secure knowing no one else would find them. She asked Blair to leave up only one video: the Wonderwall montage. It made her more nostalgic than depressed, and she wanted one way to remember her friends that wasn’t tainted with everything that had happened.

According to Zoe, she had taken Alex and Blair to her mom’s just for Christmas day and then back to DC immediately after. Rachel had been hoping to see Zoe while she was in Florida, but apparently she had to go right back to work because between the convention and Thanksgiving, she had used up all her vacation time. The convenience of being able to teleport, Rachel supposed. (Which apparently didn’t extend to popping into Orlando to visit… but it was fine…)

She did think it was strange that Zoe never visited her, considering how often Blair was around. But she didn’t want to be upset with Zoe. Maybe she felt weird about it too-- after all, Rachel hadn’t asked Blair to take her to DC for a visit, when she knew Blair would probably be more than willing. Whatever the reason, she had accepted that she wouldn’t be seeing Zoe any time soon, and she wasn’t going to give her a hard time.

That didn’t mean they didn’t still talk constantly. They’d had several more actual non-texting phone conversations, and Rachel ended all of them with “I love you”. It started just to continue the joke, but after a few times, it just felt natural. They stopped commenting on it-- it became normal.

Just as she was thinking of Zoe, her phone buzzed with a text.

Happy NYE! Have fun at aaron’s party :)

Thanks-- hope he and chad don’t kill me with the PDA lol

awww cut them some slack, long distance sucks

bright side: one night of not hearing him whine about it before he goes back to whining when chad leaves!! haha (nah jk I’m happy for them)

She put her phone down, thinking about Zoe’s “long distance sucks”. She couldn’t help wondering if it wasn’t just about Aaron and Chad. Blair had stopped mentioning her offer to move Rachel to DC. She wondered if Zoe had just accepted that they weren’t going to be anything besides friends.

She wondered if she herself had accepted that.

------

“Talking to Rachel again?”

“Hmm?” Zoe looked up from her phone to see Alex standing near her.

“You talk to her a lot,” said Alex, sitting down next to her. “How’s that going?”

“Um. Good,” Zoe said. She had texted Rachel immediately after leaving work (as she did most days lately). It was New Year’s Eve, but Zoe had nowhere to go. She was off on the first but she didn’t really have any parties to go to. Her only local (human) friends were Violet, Eliza, and John, and they were out of town. So she was sitting around feeling sorry for herself, wishing she were at Aaron’s party with Rachel.

“I love New Year’s,” Alex said, letting the subject drop. “It’s so human. When you only have a few years to live, it makes sense to want to count and celebrate them.”

“We have more than a few years,” Zoe protested, but Alex had a point. What use was counting years for an immortal?

“Not enough to not be spending them how you want,” Alex said. “So are we going to Florida?”

“What?”

“Are we going to Aaron’s party? Blair doesn’t have to come if she doesn’t want to be around B4B. I think Dionysus is doing something.” They pulled out a mess of a knitting project they had been working on and started weaving the needles randomly through it.

“Alex, what makes you think that--”

“Oh, sorry, I just assumed from how much you’ve been talking about it. Did you not want to go?”

Zoe laughed. Alex was getting better at picking up hints, even when she wasn’t trying to drop them. “No, you’re right. Of course I want to go,” she said.

Alex beamed. They loved parties.

-----

“RACHEL!”

Rachel had barely made it in the door of Aaron’s apartment before being engulfed in an enthusiastic hug. She laughed.

“Hey, Aaron,” she said, but it came out muffled from inside the hug. Aaron let go of her and she looked up at him. She didn’t know it was possible for one person to radiate so much happiness. He was practically glowing.

“Everybody, this is my girl Rachel,” Aaron said. “Everybody” turned out to be a couple local B4B friends and Chad. Rachel waved awkwardly. Chad got up off the couch and came to shake her hand like the good networking former frat boy he was.

“So nice to finally meet you, Rachel, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Likewise,” said Rachel. “I mean I saw you through a car window that one time but it’s nice to officially meet.”

Chad laughed.

“I’m so glad you’re here, dude,” Aaron said. “We have snacks in the kitchen, help yourself.” He grabbed Chad’s hand and walked back over to the couch. She watched them go, smiling. She was happy for Aaron-- she knew how much it had been killing him not having Chad around.

She grabbed a few cookies and sat down in the living room, vaguely listening to the conversation. It was always awkward to be at a party where you only know the host. She wanted to text Zoe but didn’t want to be that person on her phone.

As the night went on, Rachel managed to integrate herself into the socializing well enough. They played a few board games. As she had predicted, Chad and Aaron displayed an obnoxious amount of PDA (that she forgave only because she knew it was short-lived). At one point, Aaron’s friend Kate facetimed from her own B4B party in San Francisco and insisted on being introduced to everyone. Overall, it was a pleasant experience. Rachel managed to resist livetexting the event to Zoe, but she definitely spent all night crafting the next morning’s messages in her head. She would text Zoe at midnight, at the very least.

She realized then that she had thought of texting Zoe at midnight before her parents or anyone else she knew. But that wasn’t that weird, right? It wasn’t like she knew very many (living) people, and one of them she would see at midnight. Kissing his boyfriend, no doubt.

A persistent knocking pulled her out of her thoughts. Aaron looked around, as if making sure everyone he had invited was still in the room.

“Everyone’s here already,” he said. He looked at Chad, who shrugged. The knocking continued. Aaron got up and went to the door. Rachel hoped it was some drunk person with the wrong door. She was finally feeling comfortable with the people who were already there, she didn’t want some random other friend of Aaron’s to show up uninvited and throw a wrench into the group vibe. She heard Aaron open the door.

“Zoe! Alex! Wow, can’t believe you guys are here! Come in!”

Rachel’s head jerked up. Alex was greeting Aaron enthusiastically. She stood. Why was Aaron so tall? She couldn’t see around him. The other people at the party must have thought she was odd for jumping up so quickly, but she didn’t care. Aaron moved to let them in, and Rachel locked eyes with Zoe, still in the doorway. She stared, still in shock.

A second later, Zoe was pulled into a hug from Aaron and they broke eye contact. Rachel’s head spun. She couldn’t believe Zoe had come, and on top of that, how happy it made her just to see her in person again.

She remembered again how Zoe had been the first thing on her mind all night and realized maybe that last part wasn’t so hard to believe.

-----

Zoe had tried to tell Alex that you didn’t need to keep knocking until the person answered the door, but they sometimes got overenthusiastic and forgot. She hoped Aaron wouldn’t mind her showing up unannounced.

It had taken them longer to get there than she would’ve liked. Alex went through about 4 human forms before Zoe remembered they’d have to use the same one as the last time they saw Aaron. She still hadn’t explained to Aaron that Alex was also a god, and even if he knew, she remembered how disorienting it was to think of Alex as the same person(?) for the first few months she knew them. She had long since gotten used to it, but better not to complicate things. After that, Alex spent far too much time going through every wardrobe option.

“Can I borrow that pink jacket you have?” they had asked her at one point. “Don’t you think that’s a good party accessory?”

“Um.” Zoe had forgotten that she kept the Goodwill pink ladies jacket so prominently displayed in her room. Alex definitely couldn’t wear it, but she didn’t have a good explanation for why not. She could say it was because she wanted to wear it, but she wasn’t sure she did. Nobody but Rachel would appreciate the joke, and she felt like even Rachel would see it as a strong statement. She had been trying so hard just to be there for Rachel as a friend and not put on any perceived romantic pressure. If Rachel wasn’t comfortable with it, she wasn’t going to push it. Especially not when their friendship was going so well.

By the time her brain started to formulate a response, Alex had already moved onto a different idea. Good.

When they were finally both ready (Zoe gave Alex a hard time but it did take her a while to do her makeup to her satisfaction), Alex teleported them to Aaron’s house. She still didn’t entirely understand how that worked. She hoped it was the right door. Did gods just know these things?

Aaron opened the door, and immediately she knew she shouldn’t have been concerned about surprising him. His face lit up.

“Zoe! Alex! Wow, can’t believe you guys are here! Come in!” He reached to shake hands with Alex and pulled them into a hug. Zoe laughed. He was so enthusiastic. She tried not to crane her neck around him to look inside. She would see Rachel when she saw her. No big deal.

Then Aaron moved and she saw her, standing in the living room behind him. They made eye contact. Zoe’s heart pounded. Before she could read Rachel’s face, Aaron was hugging her next. Would Rachel be happy to see her? Was this too strong of a move? Maybe they shouldn’t have come.

Aaron let go of her. She didn’t look back at Rachel.

“Everybody, these are my friends Zoe and Alex!” said Aaron. Zoe looked around and saw Chad and a few others she didn’t recognize. She smiled and waved halfheartedly.

“Hi, sorry I’m late,” she said. “Also, you know, sorry I didn’t RSVP.” She continued to avoid looking at Rachel. She was suddenly very nervous to talk to her, which was weird. She talked to Rachel constantly, and she wasn’t a nervous type.

“Dude, no worries,” said Aaron. “I’m thrilled you’re here. I didn’t even know you were in town! Rachel, did you plan this?” Zoe finally looked at Rachel, but Rachel was looking at Aaron.

“Um, yeah! Surprise!” Rachel smiled. She was an actor, Zoe remembered.

“Well, there are snacks in the kitchen, help yourself!” said Aaron. Alex bounced over to the group and started introducing themself to everyone.

Rachel walked into the kitchen. Zoe took the hint and followed her. She wished she could tell what Rachel was thinking, but her back was to her.

When they got into the kitchen (which was barely a separate room from the rest of the apartment), Rachel turned around.

“What are you doing here??” she demanded.

Zoe shrugged. “Surprise?”

They stood there looking at each other for what was probably 5 seconds but felt much longer, then Rachel rushed forward and hugged her. Zoe hugged her back, relieved. For several moments, they didn’t let go, then finally they broke away at the same time.

“I’m so happy to see you,” Rachel said. “You have no idea. I’ve been wishing you were here all night.”

“I’ve been wishing to be here all night!” Zoe said. “And Alex noticed, I guess, so… here we are.”

“Remind me to thank them later,” Rachel said. “Is Blair not coming?”

“Nah, she didn’t want to be around the midwives.” Rachel laughed. Zoe had told her about Blair’s weird aversion to B4B.

“Well, tell her I said hi when you see her. She’s missing some good snacks.”

“I will, but don’t be offended if she doesn’t know who you are,” Zoe said. “I mean I mention you a lot but I don’t know if she’s ever actually listening to me.”

“Oh yeah…” Rachel looked thoughtful. “I guess we did only meet a couple times.”

Zoe laughed. “Did you forget?”

“Well from how much you talk about her, I feel like I know her.”

“She should really get to know you more,” Zoe said. “I think the two of you would get along.”

“I feel like we would,” Rachel said confidently. She paused, then gestured to the other room. “Did you want to go hang out with everyone?”

What Zoe really wanted was to keep talking to Rachel alone, but the kitchen wasn’t very private and they couldn’t exactly leave the apartment, so she nodded. They walked into the living room together.

-----

Rachel had already been relatively enjoying the party, but it felt like her happiness doubled as soon as Zoe arrived. They hadn’t seen each other in person since the beach, and they had grown so much closer since then that it felt both very exciting and very natural to be hanging out. Every time Rachel felt the urge to text Zoe, she could just exchange glances with her instead. It was amazing. She suddenly felt she understood Aaron’s overwhelming sunshine attitude.

At one point, though, she realized she didn’t know the next time she would see Zoe in person, and in person felt like the right time for a much-delayed conversation.

She cornered Aaron in the kitchen and asked if he would mind her talking to Zoe in his room for a few minutes. He gave her an exaggerated wink-wink-nudge-nudge that she chose to ignore.  

“It’s not like that. I just have to tell her something.”

“Okay dude, whatever you say,” Aaron said, winking at her again. Rachel sighed.

Once she and Zoe were alone in Aaron’s room, Zoe looking confused but not unhappy, Rachel sat down at the edge of Aaron’s bed.

“Zoe, I-- do you remember when I told you I had some stuff in my past that I wasn’t ready to talk about?”

“Mhm…”

“I think I’m ready to talk about it now,” Rachel said slowly.

“Okay,” said Zoe, sitting down next to her.

“I just want to preface this by saying it’s much worse than whatever you think it is.”

“Okay,” Zoe said again.

“And you might not believe me.”

“Rachel. I trust you. Whatever you tell me, I believe you.”

“Ok.... I don’t know how to start.”

“Take your time.”

Rachel took a deep breath. “First of all you should know that when I was in college, my best friend’s name was Hamlet and I also lived with her and I was also in… I also had feelings for her. Um. Very strong feelings.” Somehow that was less painful than saying she was in love with her.

Zoe just nodded supportively. She was so good. Why was she so good?

“So, almost two years ago, my friend Marci and I saw the ghost of Hamlet’s dad in a parking garage. And it turns out his business partner murdered him and then married his wife after he was dead.”

“Gods, that’s awful. I’m sorry.”

Rachel sighed. She hadn’t gotten to half of the awful parts yet. “Yeah. So I told Hamlet about the ghost, and she went back to talk to it, and then she started acting really strangely and broke up with her boyfriend and a bunch of other things happened and-- this is really hard to explain.”

“You’re doing fine,” Zoe said. “You don’t have to keep talking if you don’t want to.”

“I want to,” Rachel said, and Zoe nodded again. “So Marci and I tried to help Hamlet but long complicated story short, her asshole stepdad tried to kill her and then she killed him and also died and also Marci died, and also Hamlet’s ex-boyfriend Alex died, and so did Hamlet’s mom and two of our other friends. And also Alex’s sister Laura is in jail now because of shooting Hamlet, but she was kind of being manipulated by Claude. That’s the asshole stepdad. Oh and Laura looks exactly like Blair and that’s why I freaked out the first time we met.” Rachel exhaled. She was fairly certain that none of that made any sense.

Zoe just stared at her.

“I told you it’s worse than you thought,” Rachel said.

“It… is definitely worse than I thought,” Zoe said. She reached out and took Rachel’s hand. “Are you ok?”

“Kind of,” Rachel said. “Usually. I mean, I was really bad for a long time but now I’m doing better. Mostly thanks to you and Aaron.” She paused. “And my therapist.”

Zoe smiled and squeezed her hand. “That’s good.”

“There’s something else though,” Rachel said, pulling her hand away. This was the part she really wished she could leave out, but she felt she owed Zoe the whole truth. Zoe just looked at her patiently. “I wasn’t exactly a passive bystander in the whole thing. Or, I guess I kind of was, and that was the problem? I was right there the whole time and I didn’t save any of them. If I had just--”

“Hey,” Zoe said, interrupting her for the first time. “You can’t blame this on yourself. You didn’t do any of that.”

“I didn’t stop it, though,” Rachel said.

“Sometimes there’s just nothing you can do,” Zoe said. “Sometimes things are just out of your hands. You can’t sit here torturing yourself about what you could have done differently.”

“That’s what my therapist says too.” Rachel looked down at her lap.

“Rachel…” Zoe offered her hand again, and Rachel took it. “Thank you for telling me all that. I know it must be really difficult for you to relive and it means a lot to me that you told me.”

“Oh, um, no problem,” Rachel said. “I figured it was time you knew.” Inside, she was reeling. Zoe knew everything and wasn’t backing off. She was still there, holding Rachel’s hand and smiling at her.

They sat there for a few moments in silence before Rachel figured she should say something. “So, uh, that’s why I’m so messed up about dating. Considering the last person I had feelings for before you was… murdered.” She realized halfway through the sentence what she had just said.

Zoe blinked. “Yeah,” she said slowly, then, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” said Rachel, fully expecting Zoe to call her out on admitting she had feelings for her. Because she did, she realized. Of course she did.

“Did you say someone you knew looks like Blair?”

“Oh!” Rachel blinked. “Yeah. Laura. She’s… yeah, they’re basically doppelgangers.”

“So weird.”

“That reminds me, you know Sherlock?” Rachel had honestly almost forgotten her weird triggering episode with the mysterious detective.

“Yeah…” Zoe said cautiously. It was no surprise-- Rachel had asked her not to bring up Sherlock.

“She and Hamlet look exactly the same.”

“Geez. I had no idea that was so common,” Zoe said. “No wonder you don’t want to talk about them.”

“Is it them? Aaron always said ex-girlfriend so--”

“You know, I’m not entirely sure.”

There was another silence. Rachel realized they were still holding hands.

There was a knock. Rachel jumped up, letting go of Zoe’s hand. Aaron poked his head through the door. “It’s almost midnight! Come be in the countdown!” He looked at Rachel and raised an eyebrow. She rolled her eyes at him, then followed him to the living room.

-----

“Three! Two! One! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!”

Zoe had never kissed anyone at midnight. Aaron and Chad were kissing. She looked over at Alex, who grinned and gave her two thumbs up. “Happy New Year!!” they said again.

“Happy New Year, Alex,” she said back. She looked over at Rachel, who was looking at Aaron and Chad. She never would have predicted everything Rachel had gone through, but then again, her own life should have taught her that life was hard to predict.

She didn’t blame Rachel for not having told her sooner. It was a lot to take in, and she knew it took a lot for Rachel to share it. But at the same time, she couldn’t help wishing she had known earlier so Rachel wouldn’t have had to harbor all that fear and guilt. She could tell Rachel was nervous to tell her, and it made her sad to think about it. Nothing Rachel said came anywhere close to tarnishing Zoe’s opinion of her-- if anything, it made Zoe admire her more. To have gone through all that and come out the other side.

Rachel noticed her staring. She had conveniently placed herself across the room (so as not to make things awkward at midnight, Zoe assumed. But then, she could have sworn Rachel said she had feelings for her...).

Rachel walked over to her and gave her a hug. “Thanks again for everything,” she said. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Zoe said, the phrase no longer embarrassing. “Happy 2019.”

“Happy 2019.”

Zoe heard clinking and pulled away from the hug.

“Everyone!” Chad said, tapping a noisemaker against a champagne glass. “I have an announcement!” They all quieted down. “I’ve decided to move to Orlando!” he said, smiling at Aaron. “Surprise, babe. I found an apartment, I just have to get my car and all my stuff.”

Everyone cheered. Zoe wouldn’t have been surprised if Aaron fainted right then and there, but he just grabbed Chad and kissed him again. She looked away, feeling weird watching.

“Thank god,” Rachel whispered. Zoe had forgotten how close she was standing. Aaron’s other friends were busy congratulating him and Chad; she didn’t think anyone else could hear. “I never have to hear him whine about distance again.”

“The last person I had feelings for before you...” Rachel’s words were still ringing in Zoe’s head. She decided to take a risk.

“Well that’s good,” she said, “but now you’ll have to listen to me whine about distance instead.”

“I guess you’ll just have to get Alex to bring you back more often,” Rachel said. They were still talking too quietly for anyone to hear. “Bring Blair, get some froyo…”

“I’ve had enough froyo,” said Zoe. “Blair needs to wake up and realize that ice cream is way better.” Rachel laughed. “But froyo cashiers are cuter,” Zoe added.

“They’re tired of froyo too,” Rachel said. “Every froyo cashier spends all day secretly wishing for ice cream.”

“I still have feelings for you,” Zoe blurted. Rachel blinked. “I did on the beach, and I do now. Much more now, even though I’ve tried not to, because I know it’s long distance and I know you said you’re not ready for a relationship and I 100% understand that. We don’t have to do anything about it, I value your friendship way too much to mess with it, but I just felt like it was dishonest to not tell you. And I wasn’t going to, but then you said… what you said in Aaron’s room, and I guess I got hopeful.” She took a deep breath. Rachel was just staring at her.

“Are you sure?” She didn’t know what she was expecting from Rachel after that declaration, but that wasn’t it. She nodded. “Can we go outside?” Rachel asked, glancing around at the other people in the room. Zoe nodded again. Everyone was still too excited about Chad’s announcement to really pay much attention. They slipped outside quietly and shut the door. There wasn’t much room on Aaron’s doorstep. Zoe held her breath.

“Can I kiss you?” Rachel asked.

-----

Alex watched as Zoe and Rachel snuck out of the apartment. They weren’t always the best at reading humans, but something told them the two girls wouldn’t be back inside for a while.

[tyson-berry-blog]

Evgeni Malkin #1 - English

Anon asked: Hey, I saw that your requests were open and I was wondering if you could do a Evgeni Malkin where he's nervous talk to you because he doesn't speak English that well.

This prompt really got away from me and ended up being the longest one I’ve written. I am wearing a Malkin t-shirt jersey as I type this and I promise that it was a coincidence. I love him way more than I probably should. I took the liberty of adding in Bryan Rust as a character to work out some plot holes so I hope that is okay! I hope you enjoy reading this an much as I enjoyed writing this!

You loved working in a bakery especially one you owned but sometimes being your own boss was tough. You were usually the first one in and that last one out but today you finally pawned off the late shift to someone else and left early. You felt guilty of course, it was your bakery so it almost felt like cheating when someone else did the work. If it hadn’t been for the insistent nagging of your younger brother to come support him at work you wouldn’t have left. You were the older sister to Bryan Rust a winger for the Pittsburgh Penguins and thorn in your side. They made it through to the second round of the playoffs as you expected but you would never let him know that. Each player was allotted a certain number of tickets per game and you insisted that it was only right that your parents and your other brother Matt got to go. You made excuses about being busy at work which were half true and finally he had enough. Bryan, armed with a jersey and threat to call your mother showed up during your lunch break to directly ask you to come to their game.

“Bryan you know I can’t leave when there is so much to get done!”

He pulled his best wounded look, “it’s like you don’t care about me or something.”

“You know that isn’t true.”

“Prove it to me,” he crossed his arms, “come to the game tonight and as proof of attendance you have to meet me after in the locker room.”

You looked down at the stack of order forms on your desk, “fine. Yeah I’ll be there.”

He smiled at you brightly and pushed the jersey and ticket in your direction before running off for his pre-game nap.

This is why you found yourself waiting with the other family members outside of the locker room after a 3-2 win over the Capitals instead of at home asleep. When the media finished up and finally left, the family members filed in flocking to their respective players. You picked your way through the masses and made your way over to your brother who was in the middle of a conversation with alternate captain Evgeni Malkin and object of your affections. He perked up at the sight of you and eagerly waved you over. Evgeni turned to see what Bryan was waving at and when he made eye contact with you he quickly looked elsewhere. Bryan slung a sweaty arm around your shoulder and you made no attempt to shake him off. They had just won and you couldn’t ruin his excitement.

“Geno this is my big sister! Sis, this is Geno.”

You held your hand out for Geno to shake, “Hi. It’s so nice to meet you. You played great.”

He shook your hand tentatively and nodded in thanks.

Bryan punched Evgeni in the shoulder, “c’mon dude don’t be shy. She isn’t totally awful.”

Before you could object to his comment Bryan was waved over by Marc-André to weigh in on the conversation he was having with Kris Letang. This left you alone with Geno who was decisively looking anywhere but at you.

The silence was tense so you attempted to joke, “what do I have something on my face?”

Evgeni was startled by the sudden comment and quickly shook his head as an answer.

You tried again, “so how awful is my brother? Be honest, I promise I won’t tell him.”

“He not bad. Work hard,” Evgeni answered honestly.

“Really?” you teased, “there has got to be something.”

“No.”

You nodded at the curt answer and tapped your fingers awkwardly on your thigh. You searched the room for your brother who had somehow disappeared.

You looked back at Evgeni, “I think I’m going to wait for Bryan outside. If he asks will you let him know?”

Evgeni nodded and turned away which you took as a sign of dismissal. It was unfortunate really. You’d found him to be quite attractive for a while now but for some reason he just didn’t seem to want to interact with you. You hoped you hadn’t accidentally offended him when you asked about dirt on your brother. In your mind it was harmless teasing but maybe it meant more to him. You worked to push the thought out of your mind as you read through some texts. The group chat between your parents and brothers was particularly active so you scrolled through the messages. It started with your parents wishing Bryan luck and them commenting on the photos you sent of the game. Nothing interesting enough to warrant dozens of texts. The further you scrolled down made the sudden influx of messages make sense. Bryan had unknowingly taken a picture of you talking to Evgeni and captioned it “Remember to thank me in the wedding speech.”

Your mother responded with a series of coos to which Matt and your dad responded with vague threats defending your honor. You quickly went to set the record straight.

“He barely said five words to me!”

Bryan was quick to respond, “he is a man of few words.”

“Bryan where are you? I am waiting outside, let’s go,” you attempted to steer the conversation away from your failing love life.

Minutes later Bryan appeared freshly showered and changed.

He stopped in front of you, “some of the guys are going out for drinks. Want to come?”

“I have to be up early in the morning to open the bakery.”

“Nope,” he popped the p, “I had Kelsey find someone to cover your shift. Like four different people were willing to do it. They all think you work too hard.”

“Bryan I can’t have other people doing my work! It isn’t fair to them.”

He fixed you with a look, “really? I know how much time you give them off. You have more than made up for any extra work they might do.”

You knew he wouldn’t give up. It was his worst quality, “who all is going to be there?”

“Flower, Hags, Kuni, and Tanger for sure. I think Geno and a couple others as well,” he counted them off on his fingers.

“Are any other non-hockey players going? Won’t it be weird if I’m the only one?”

“I’m sure some others will be there. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to, I won’t make you. It’s just I barely get to see you anymore.”

You sighed, “I just don’t think it’s a good idea. I mean Geno can barely stand the sight of me and this is his team’s celebration.”

Bryan gave you a confused look, “wait what are you talking about? Geno definitely doesn’t hate the sight of you. Kind of the opposite.”

“He wouldn’t look at me and gave me short, clipped answers.”

“You probably just made him nervous.”

Now you were confused, “why would I make him nervous?”

“Okay he would kill me if he found out I was the reason you knew but he kind of has a thing for you. I don’t know why, you’re gross.”

It took a second for you to process the words, “Is that why you left us alone randomly?”

Bryan nodded sheepishly, “I thought he would finally work up the courage to talk to you. There is only so much a guy can hear about his sister.”

You punched him in the shoulder, “dude what the hell? Is that the real reason you wanted me at this game?”

“No. Okay maybe it was part of the reason but you are my sister and you haven’t come out to a game in months.”

“This still doesn’t change the fact he barely talked to me. Look I don’t want to make things weird tonight. I’m going home, I hope you have fun.”

With that you spun on your heel and walked through the now empty arena. While you didn’t have to open the shop, as a force of habit you knew your body would wake you up anyway. Might as well get some sleep.

In the morning as predicted you woke up at your normal time and as much as your eyes burned from exhaustion you couldn’t fall back asleep. This did allow you more time to get ready and you were able to eat breakfast instead of just scarfing down a piece of toast and coffee. You left for the bakery before you were scheduled to go in but still later than if you were opening. When you got there it was empty save for a few customers scattered around and Brad behind the counter. You tried to walk through the swinging door that led you into the kitchen but Brad’s body blocked it from opening. You opened your mouth to protest and he jerked his head towards a lone figure in the corner. It was Evgeni.

“He’s been here since just after opening. Please go fix whatever happened. I can’t have mopey boyfriends hanging around.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend,” you tried to explain.

Brad raised an eyebrow, “well then you better let him know that. He seemed particularly upset when he walked in and you weren’t here.”

“He works with my brother. I’ll go see what he wants.”

You attempted to ignore the giddy feeling in your stomach as you walked over to the corner table. Evgeni looked up at your footsteps like a deer caught in the headlights. You pulled the chair out across from him and waited expectantly for him to speak.

When he opened his mouth but no words came out you took pity, “what are you doing here?”

He audibly gulped, “I’m come see you.”

“Yeah I got that; but why? In our last interaction it seemed like you literally could not stand the sight of me.”

He shook his head quickly, “no not mean that!”

You quirked an eyebrow and waited for him to further explain.

“I’m plan to talk to you. I’m practice how to ask you out. When I’m see you I’m get nervous. English not so good.”

“Was that it? You were afraid to talk to me because you don’t think your English is that good?”

He nodded.

“Oh Geno,” you reached for his hand that was sitting on the table, “considering English isn’t your first language I’d say you’re doing a great job.”

He blushed and ducked his head, “Rusty say I’m dumb. Say you great girl and I’m make you feel bad. I’m not mean to.”

“I know you didn’t mean to. I was being too sensitive I think. Bryan knew about my crush on you so I felt a little betrayed when he left me to fend for myself.”

That got him to look at you, “you like me?”

“For a while now,” you admitted, “Bryan wouldn’t stop talking about you and I had to see what all the fuss was about.”

His face lit up with a grin, “we go out?”

“Whoa there Geno slow down,” you laughed.

This caused the grin to fall slightly, “oh. I’m sorry. I’m not mean to…” he trailed off.

“No I just mean let’s take this slow. I want to get to know you better. We can maybe exchange numbers?”

He nodded eagerly, “English better on phone. Good practice.”

You two exchanged numbers and talked until Brad came over and tapped your shoulder letting you know your shift had started fifteen minutes ago. You scrambled out of your seat and Geno followed suit.

“I’ll text you,” you told him.

“I’m answer this time.”

“You better,” in a spur of the moment decision you reached up on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

The bright grin from earlier returned on his face and he left the bakery still smiling. Not even three minutes after his departure did you feel your phone buzz with a message.

“I’m give you Malkin jersey. Much better than Rusty.”

“Oh is it now?” you texted back.

“Da. I’m best.”

You felt yourself smile and glared at Brad when he began laughing.

“You better shut it. I’m in charge of your paycheck.”

Brad held his hands up in surrender and mimed zipping his lips. If the following interactions were anything like today, you could see this relationship going very far.

[sunflowerseedsandscience]

X-Files Fic: Reminiscence, Chapter One

Timeline: Post-revival, but assuming that “My Struggle II” never happened. Rating: PG, for language only. Summary: This fic was prompted by an awesome video by the amazing @mulderswaterbed, which you can watch here.  Mulder wakes one morning to find that Scully has disappeared, and is told- by those he trusts- that she has been dead for over twenty years.  All of the evidence- and even Mulder’s own memories- seem to back it up.  But is it true?  Or can Mulder not trust anyone- himself included?

A quick note: Plenty of y’all are going to be SCREAMING at me when you finish this chapter, but please, stay with me!  I promise not to steer you wrong!

In his dreams, there are flashing lights, loud noises, the high, keening sound of the wind, and, he could swear, someone calling his name in a panic... though it could have just been more wind.  He wakes once, barely, just enough to register that it's storming outside, raining instead of snowing because it's been a warm winter.

When he wakes for the day, hours later, her side of the bed is cold, empty, the covers pulled up to the pillow and tightly tucked in.  He tries to think back to the conversation they'd had before bed- had she said anything about leaving early?  He could have sworn they'd decided to drive to work together today.  He retrieves his smartphone from the nightstand, but there are no new texts, no missed phone calls.  He rolls onto his back with a groan, staring up at the badly cracked ceiling that he's been meaning to re-plaster for years.

He tells himself that maybe she'd discovered, upon waking, that she'd forgotten something important at her apartment back in DC, and she hadn't wanted to wake him up when she'd realized she'd have to go home before heading to the Hoover building.  Or maybe she'd discovered that he'd run out of coffee earlier this week, and she's making a quick Starbucks run so that she doesn't have to begin the day sans caffeine.

Maybe she's on her way back here, even now.

But when seven-thirty has come and gone, and Mulder has showered, shaved, and donned his suit for the day, and there's still no sign of Scully, he has to conclude that, whatever the reason, she must have decided to leave the house before he'd woken up.

Without telling him.

Mulder tries to remember if there's anything he might have said, at work or after, the previous evening, that could have offended her, could have made her decide to leave in the middle of the night... but, oddly enough, he's having a hard time remembering anything that happened at work at all, and nothing from when they'd arrived back at the house.  He remembers her sitting across from him at the desk in their office, frowning down at something- a report?- and pushing a lock of long hair out of her face, rolling her eyes at something ridiculous he'd said.

Wait.

Long hair?

He shakes his head sharply.  He must not be getting enough sleep, if his brain is this scrambled.

At seven-forty-five, with his tie done up and his briefcase packed, Mulder concludes that he can't wait any longer to see if Scully is coming back before work.  Just to be safe, he pulls his phone out of his pocket, holds down the home key, and instructs it: "Call Scully."  

An electronic chime, a beat, and then the infuriatingly unhelpful digital voice states, "I don't see 'Scully' in your contacts.  Should I look for a location by that name?"  Mulder swears and fully unlocks the phone, goes to his contact list, and scrolls down, to find...

...nothing.

There's "Scully, Margaret," because he's felt an awful pang every time he's gone to delete Maggie's number (and it's only been a couple of weeks, anyway), but no "Scully, Dana."  Swearing again, he switches to the keypad and enters her number from memory.

"The number you have reached is not a working number.  Please hang up and try again."  He frowns at his phone, completely mystified now.  Has he mis-typed it?  No, there it is, clear as day.  What the hell?

One way or another, he's got an hour's drive to get to work, and he needs to leave now.  Whatever's going on, he'll get to the office, see Scully, and get it sorted out.  Knowing his luck, his phone's malfunctioning again.  He's never quite gotten the hang of operating these things; he'd liked it much better when all he'd had to do to get connected to his entire world had been to hold down the "1" key and wait for her to pick up.

------------------------

Mulder's beat-up pickup truck pulls into the parking garage five minutes after nine o'clock.  He'd made a stop for coffee, both one for him and one for Scully, and had needed to step out of the line for several minutes because, suddenly, he couldn't remember how she takes it.  Black?  He didn't think that was right.  Cream and sugar?  Nonfat milk, no sugar?  That last had sounded the most likely, so he'd gone with that.  But to forget his partner's coffee order after twenty-four years... something is clearly wrong in his head this morning.

The office is locked and dark when he reaches it, and his sense of unease deepens further.  Scully is always on time.  Has been as long as he's known her.  

With worry over Scully forming a tight ball in the pit of his stomach, Mulder fires up the computer and checks his e-mail.  Nothing out of the ordinary is waiting for him- Agent Miller has sent him an article on cryptids that he'd found interesting, as he's done a number of times since their meeting after the bombing in Texas, and there's the usual warning from the system administrator that his inbox is over its capacity, advising that he needs to delete older messages.  He gets the same notice at least once a month; he's terrible at cleaning out his e-mails.  Normally Scully has to remind him to do it.

Scully.

He frowns to himself.  It's already nine-thirty and she's still not here.  He glances at his phone again, but there's nothing.  On the exceedingly rare occasions she's been late or taken a sick day before, she's always called, once to him and once to Skinner, to let them both know ahead of time.  He tries her number again, but gets the same non-working number message.  He opens his texts, preparing to ask her if she's okay (even though she won't so much as look at it if she's on the road- no matter what sounds her phone makes, if she's driving, it remains in her purse, on the floor), but is further confused when his entire text conversation with her is nowhere to be found.

He nearly hurls the phone against the wall.  What is going on with this thing?  What else has it randomly decided to delete?  Mulder has other important things on here, saved e-mails and bookmarked websites, documents he's forwarded from the office so that he can have them on hand whenever he needs them, and if his phone is going to suddenly start losing information, it's going to be a problem.

Mulder enters Scully's number manually, and types, "Where are you?  Everything okay?" into the window.  After a moment's hesitation, he adds a little worried face (or at least, he thinks it's a worried face; emojis are a foreign language to him), hoping to keep the tone light.  He doesn't want her to think he's obsessing, freaking out and jumping to the worst possible conclusion, when there's probably a perfectly rational explanation for all of this.

Seconds after he sends the text, it bounces back, with a message: "Error: not delivered."

It must be the phone.  Clearly, he needs a new one.  He reaches for the office phone sitting on the corner of his desk, gets an outside line, and dials Scully's number.

"The number you have reached is not a working number.  Please hang up and-"

He slams the phone down.

What the hell is going on?

Mulder glances up at the clock again.  Nine-forty-five.  Screw it, he thinks to himself, standing abruptly and grabbing his overcoat.  He's driving over to her apartment.  If nothing is wrong, if she's just late and hasn't called, or she's taking a sick day, she's going to be annoyed with him for overreacting... but he'd rather risk her wrath than have something really be wrong, have her needing his help, and not be around to provide it.

He's prepared to throw a half-baked excuse at Skinner, or anyone else he might run into on his way out to his truck, but no one takes any notice of him.  He manages to stay reasonably close to the speed limit, and to his great relief, there's a parking space big enough for his truck readily available right in the front of her building.  He kills the engine, leaps out, and jogs up her front steps.  Someone is exiting the building as he's entering, and he manages to catch the door before it swings shut, eliminating the need to have her buzz him in- as well as the need to use the keys that, he realizes, he's left in his briefcase at work.

The elevator is on another floor, and rather than wait for it, Mulder jogs up to the third floor and down the hall, stopping at Scully's door.  He raps sharply, but for a moment, there's no answer.  His heart in his throat, he knocks again.  "Scully, it's me," he calls.  "Open up, okay?"  There's still no answer.  Could she be in there, injured?  Fell in the shower this morning, maybe?  He pounds on the door again, aware that he's probably disturbing her neighbors.  "Come on, Scully, open the door!"

He's just turning away, deciding to find the super and flash his badge to get him to open the door, when there's the clunk of locks turning, the rattle of the chain being removed, the creak of the door opening.  "Thank God," says Mulder, turning back.  "I was just about to-"  His words freeze in his throat.

It's not Scully.

Standing in the doorway, looking completely bewildered (and not a little afraid), is an elderly woman Mulder's never seen before.

"Can I help you?" she asks, not opening the door all the way.

"I... I'm sorry," Mulder stammers.  "I must have the wrong...."  He glances back at the number on the door.  No, this is definitely Scully's apartment.  "Are you a relative of Dana's?"  Maybe the woman is an aunt who's dropped in for a surprise visit, and that's what's keeping Scully.  But no, the woman looks politely confused.

"Who?"

"Dana Scully," Mulder says insistently.  "The woman who lives here."

"I think you have the wrong apartment," the elderly woman says, and begins to close the door.  Mulder throws out an arm to stop her.

"No, please, I know I have the right address!" he insists.  "I'm looking for my partner, Dana Scully.  She's lived here for the past year and a half, and she didn't show up to work today, and I'm trying to-"

"I've lived here for the past four years, young man," says the woman, pushing the door against Mulder's arm.  "Please leave, or I'll have to call the police."  Mulder withdraws his arm, reluctantly, and the woman slams the door.  He hears the locks falling back into place, and he steps back, pacing up and down the hallway, completely at a loss.  What had started out as unease is quickly descending into full-blown terror.

Scully is missing.  He has no idea where she is.  And someone else is living in her apartment.

Mulder's head is spinning.  He feels sick.  He races back down to the lobby and out the front doors, hoping that the cold February air will shock him back to sanity and make everything make sense again... but all he feels is a rising sense of panic.

Skinner, he thinks to himself, racing to his truck and jumping in shoving the key roughly into the ignition.  He has to find Skinner and tell him what's going on.  If something has happened to Scully, Skinner will want to get to the bottom of it as quickly as possible.  He'll throw the full resources of the Bureau into it, Mulder knows he will.

Skinner will help him figure it out.

-------------------------

Skinner's assistant (Kimberly left ages ago and Mulder can never remember her replacement's name) isn't at her desk, so Mulder goes straight to the office door and pounds on it.

"Come in," calls a gruff voice from within, and Mulder throws open the door and races in.  The Deputy Director is seated at his desk.

"Sir," he says.  "There's a problem."  Skinner frowns.

"What is it, Agent Mulder?"

"Scully's missing," he says, struggling to keep the panic out of his voice.  "She was at the house last night when I went to sleep, but she was gone when I woke up this morning."  He can't read the expression on Skinner's face at all, but it's not a good one.  He's not sure why the idea of Scully being with him last night would be upsetting; hadn't they lived together for years before she'd moved out?  They have a son together, for Christ's sake.  Now is not the time for Skinner to suddenly have a problem with all of this.  Mulder forges ahead.  "I thought maybe she'd just left early to get ready for work at home, but she never showed up this morning.  Never called or anything.  I couldn't get through to her on her cell phone, so I drove out to her apartment, and...."  He shakes his head, still unable to make sense of the morning's events.  "There's a woman there, in her apartment, a total stranger, and she says she's been living there for four years."  Skinner is still silent, still looking at him with that unreadable- but frightening- expression.  "Something's happened, Sir.  She's in trouble.  I can feel it.  We have to-"

"Agent Mulder," Skinner interrupts, his voice icy cold, "is this some sort of sick joke?"  Mulder's mouth drops open.

"A joke?  Sir, I don't-"

"Because if it is," Skinner continues, standing slowly, "I assure you, it is in very poor taste."  Now Mulder understands: Skinner thinks he and Scully are pranking him, pretending something's happened to her in order to rile him up.  And Mulder has to agree that if that were what he's trying to do, it would be in poor taste.  Scully's gone missing before, after all.

"No, Sir, I promise," says Mulder urgently.  "It's not a joke.  I would never joke about something like that.  Scully's missing and we need to find her before something-"

"Agent Mulder," says Skinner, walking out from behind his desk, exuding a cold fury Mulder hasn't felt directed at him in over twenty years, "Dana Scully was shot and killed twenty-three years ago in 1994."

The world around Mulder spins alarmingly.  He reels back as though Skinner's words have literally struck him.  Staggering slightly to the side, his hand comes to rest on the arm of one of the two chairs sitting in front of Skinner's desk, and he looks down at it, uncomprehending.

And suddenly, Mulder is assaulted with a memory.  Distant, hazy, but still there.  Skinner's old office, when he'd been assistant director, their boss for less than a year.  Mulder closes his eyes as the images flash before him.

A much younger Skinner, sitting in the other chair, hanging his head.  His hand on Mulder's shoulder... because Mulder is sobbing, his entire body shaking.  His suit jacket has been lost somewhere along the way, and his dress shirt is covered in blood.  Blood that's not his.  His chest is aching, is heart is completely broken and shattered, because Scully is... Scully is....

No.

Mulder shakes his head, and the image dissolves.  Skinner is standing in front of him, looking more concerned now than angry.

"Agent Mulder?"  His voice is cautious, worried.  "What's going on?"  But Mulder scarcely hears him.  Skinner reaches out to clasp Mulder's arm, but he rips away, turning and tearing out of Skinner's office.

Just like at Scully's apartment building, he foregoes the elevator and flies down the stairs, not stopping until he reaches the basement.  He pounds along the hallway, digging his keys out of his pocket as he goes... but when he reaches the office door, he finds it standing open, the lights on.  He catches his breath.  Is she here?  No, the office is empty.  Maybe Skinner had come down earlier, looking for him.

Mulder dashes to the file cabinet in the corner and jerks open the bottom drawer.  Everything prior to 1998 had been lost in the fire, but he and Scully have spent years retrieving backup copies from every possible source.  And the one he's searching for had been so important, had touched so many different divisions and individuals, that getting their hands on another copy had been no problem at all.

It's filed in the S's, under "Scully, Dana."  Initially, it had been in the B's, under "Barry, Duane," but later, after the episode with Jerse, after her cancer, after Emily, and Ruskin Dam, Mulder had consolidated everything into one file so that Scully would not constantly be stumbling over her own history, no matter which drawer she opened.

Even as he seizes the file in his hands and rips it out of the drawer, he knows something is wrong.  The file is much, much too thin.  He flips it open, and the first thing he sees is that hated photograph, the enlarged, pixelated, black-and-white picture of Scully stuffed into the trunk of a car, staring up in abject terror at her captor.  He shoves it to the side, unwilling to look at it for a second longer than he has to.  Underneath is a typed-up report, one whose opening paragraphs he recognizes, and he pulls it out.

The beginning is familiar enough: Agent Dana Scully was abducted from her apartment by Duane Barry following his escape from the hospital earlier that same night.  She had been in the process of leaving a message for Mulder at the time, and her abduction had been recorded on his answering machine.  Lifting the report slightly, he can see a copy of the tape resting underneath.  Barry had come back on the FBI's radar after killing a police officer who had stopped him while driving, and camera footage had captured Scully in the trunk of Barry's car.  Mulder had deduced- correctly- that Barry had been taking Scully to Skyland Mountain, scene of his own earlier abduction, and had raced there to try and intercept him.

But here, the written account diverges from what Mulder remembers.

In Mulder's memory, he had arrived scant moments too late and had found Duane Barry shrieking his victory to an empty sky, with Scully nowhere to be found.  He had taken Barry into custody, where the man had eventually died.

In the report, Mulder had come on the scene and had found Barry waiting for him, Scully clutched in front of him, a gun held to her temple.  Mulder had tried to talk to Barry, to calm him down...

...and suddenly, it's happening again, just like in Skinner's office, moments ago.  The memory is foggy and distorted... but he can see Duane Barry, standing in the hilltop clearing, his face wild and deranged.  Scully stands before him, bound and gagged, a livid bruise on her cheek and tears in her terrified eyes.  Mulder tries to keep his voice calm, soothing, but it's hard, so hard, with his partner standing there, looking as though Barry's arm around her chest is all that's holding her up.

He says something wrong.

Mulder doesn't know what it is that sets Barry off.  All he knows is that the gun in Barry's hand fires, there's the bright flash of the muzzle, and Scully slumps.  Barry releases her and she falls ungracefully to the ground, and less than a second later Barry, too, falls, as Mulder shoots him straight through the forehead.

Mulder sees all of this in his mind, but he does not believe it.  He can't believe it.  That's not how it happened.

But there, at the bottom of the report, is his signature.  He wrote this.  He signed it.  He tucked it into this file, with....

"Oh, Jesus," Mulder moans to himself, as he looks into the bottom of the file.  They would have given Scully's personal effects to her family, of course, but this, this they could not have given back, because technically, it's the property of the FBI.

From under all of the papers, Mulder withdraws a slim, leather case, and opens it.

Scully's FBI badge.  Her identification.  Her young, earnest face, just as it had looked when she had shaken his hand in 1993.

Mulder lurches across the office, falling to his knees in front of the trash can next to his desk and vomiting into it.  He feels too weak to stand, and breathing through the pain constricting his chest feels almost impossible.  He's barely aware of the sound of high heels clicking down the hallway outside, barely cognizant that someone is standing in the office doorway, until they speak.

"Fox?"

There are very few things that could penetrate the state of shock that Mulder is in... but this voice is definitely one of them.  Because he hasn't heard this voice since 1999.  He jerks to his feet and staggers back, against the wall.  He shouldn't be hearing this voice.  He can't be hearing it, because its owner is-

But she's not dead.  She's standing in the office doorway, looking at him with concern and worry in her eyes.

"Fox," says Diana Fowley, "what on earth is going on?"

[noncompliant-fuckery]

You wanna do those questions? :)

A billion years later.. 😜1: Talk about the first time you watched your favorite movie.Idk I have a lot of favorites. Debs is a favorite and I remember renting it from the movie store and watching it with my sister. Poor little me didn't realize I was gonna be like the main characters one day (aka gay af) 2: Talk about your first kiss.Well, first cheek kiss was in music class in middle school while watching pride and prejudice. It was fast and sudden cause I asked him earlier that day why we hadn't kissed yet and he stepped up and did it right there. Can't remember the first lip kiss but my first French kiss was unfortunately in front of his older brother cause we wanted tips on how to do it right and considering how shy I really was back then it was awkward ah lol3: Talk about the person you've had the most intense romantic feelings for.Well the first one was a few years back I was talking to this one girl on here from the UK. She was basically the first girl to say she liked me back. Became extremely whipped for a bit. Was working up the nerve to see if we could be more but I waited too long and she randomly stopped talking to me. She messaged me months later out the blue that she had a girlfriend now and had to be friends. Was pissed at her cause she didn't have to ditch me just cause she had a gf, she could have told me and I would have switched gears cause we generally just flirted a lot. Anyways, I drifted from her cause we stopped talking for too long and wasn't in it anymore. Honestly tho our conversations were always a bit shit but I was making it work all that time considering I liked her. Her relationship only lasted 3 months. And yes I kept tabs back then lol4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.Falling that hard for a girl I barely knew was a regret. I regret giving up gymnastics because it got hard too. I regret graduating high school early because I missed out on stuff that happened that last semester. I regret how I felt about myself years ago because I had no reason to. I regret being so shy and letting it hold me back from things I want. I've got a lot of regrets unfortunately and I know life is too short for that shit but I still feel that way. Life moves on tho. 5: Talk about the best birthday you've had.Last year my sister picked me up from college and took me to the mall and to Dave and busters and I played games and shit. That was fun and I want to do that same thing next year :) 6: Talk about the worst birthday you've had.Usually on my birthday growing up my family tends to always be broke so I'd often not do anything for my actual birthday. I'd have to wait till my sister's the next month to really celebrate and by then it's not really my birthday anymore, it's hers. 7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.Rather not. It's lame. 8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.I'm quite proud of making the Dean's list last year. It's like making the honor roll but the college version. Goal is to make it again but we'll see :) 9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.I've got moles everywhere but the ones on my face are my favorite cause it's a family trait on my dads side to have them there. I also like my collar bone and for some reason I like my forearms which is why I want tattoos there but can't :/10: Talk about the biggest fight you've ever had.There was one with my sister years ago but I don't remember what it was about. Just know I was pissed and I stopped talking to her for a few days. 11: Talk about the best dream you've ever had.You already know I dream a lot. I think I told you that I'm waiting for my death before I say which is my favorite dream but I guess a dream that's ONE of the best is one where I was just flying around. I've practically mastered that skill in dreaming so I'm always doing it and one dream there was no plot or anything so I just flew around this world I created just enjoying the freedom I had in my head it was awesome :) 12: Talk about the worst dream you've ever had.I keep having this recurring dream where I'm in a building and I'm hiding and trying to get out. I climb through vents and small places and the small places sometimes get smaller and harder to move through. I believe I'm being chased in it. Idk I hate that dream currently. 13: Talk about the first time you had sex/how you imagine your first time.I imagine it being awkward as hell.. Not sure what the hell to expect really. 14: Talk about a vacation.Last week I drove 20 hours to Florida with 10 ppl which includes 3 little boys that were 8,7 and 4 years old. They were bad ah and got whoopins like every day. First morning in the house I jumped awake to someone screaming “nooo!” thought someone died in their sleep cause the ride there was too much...it was only one of the boys about to get it by there parents. I learned that I'm not a fan of my mom's mom. She's annoying to watch movies with always narrating shit like we ain't watching the same thing! And she called herself trying to get to know me by coming to sit really close to me and grabbing my hand and holding it and rubbing it and asking me personal questions and then getting mad when I don't look her in the eyes. Like bitch first of all your too fucking close! And secondly I fucking hate eye contact especially if i do not know you like that. Let's not mention when we went to her house and out of all the pictures she had up of her grandkids and kids. Me and my sister and my mom were not among them despite my parents saying they gave her plenty school pictures -.- the ride home was bullshit too. Too much church talk. But I did get to swim in the pool and that was really fun. Had bought a new swimsuit and I got complimented on my figure by my aunt and older cousin(after that I was quite feeling myself) and I bonded with my oldest little cousin Joey(8yrs old) there. Was trying to teach him how not to get his ass beat by his father everyday if he just fucking listen when someone says stop. I also cracked my phone screen again while I was there 😶… 🏃🏃🏃🏃15: Talk about the time you were most content in life.I believe that was before I beat the other sperm to the egg.. I didn't know better…  But idk, I was content when I was in gymnastics even when I was just self teaching myself. That was fun. 16: Talk about the best party you've ever been to.Is a concert a party cause that was the first time I let loose like that and that was awesome :) 17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with.I want to be friends with Gal Gadot cause I want her to do her touch thing with me so I can be a whipped as bitch for the rest of my sad fucking life… 18: Talk about something that happened in elementary school.A girl named Patience (the bitch) cut one of my braids. This was 5th grade and I had weave in it so it wasn't my hair exactly that she cut but still, my parents paid money for that shit and that was fucked up. I went to the principal on her. Can't remember what happened next tho. 19: Talk about something that happened in middle school.I discovered I like girls one morning cause I found myself looking at a girls ass as I was walking up some stairs. I also had a lot of friend drama. 20: Talk about something that happened in high school.I emailed a teacher a month after I graduated high school to ask if I could put her down as a reference for work and I asked if she remembered me and she said she did and that I was her teacher's assistant. The truth is I wasn't her TA, my friend was and the teacher told me once that she didn't like her as her ta cause she never showed up. I didn't correct her about me being a ta cause I wanted to put that on my resume lol21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.Lol like ppl actually like me enough for me to get the chance to do that. 22: Talk about your worst fear.Fucking spiders. Fucking death, fucking losing ppl I love and care about. Fucking life. Also I think possibly heights. 23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.Its always so fun to be let down. But it's whatever and I move on. 24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.My cousin told me to basically unhinged and get out there in the world. I'm working on it. 25: Talk about an ex-best friend.She was kind of a shit friend to me. Always getting annoyed with me and finding a reason to stop talking to me for months. Now on Facebook she said nigga a lot and she's not black. Thinking about unfriending her. Not like we talk anymore. 26: Talk about things you do when you're sick.I sleep if I can. I rub on shit tons of vics. I drink extra cough medicine. I complain a lot for sympathy 😊27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else's body.Its weird but I like playing with ppls elbow skin. It's like silly putty, so loose, so wiggly 😁 lol Unfortunately no one likes when I play with theirs… 😔😒28: Talk about your fetishes.Don't want to claim a fetish until I have more experience. 29: Talk about what turns you on.Honesty it doesn't take much to turn me on. I crave far too much attention for something not to turn me on. But really, pet names are a thing for me but like not super cheesy ones. 30: Talk about what turns you off.When ppl are dicks and just unappealing to me. 31: Talk about what you think death is like.Very scary.. Maybe a little painful. I worry about what happens to my inner voice. Like….me. Sucks when you don't have a true belief in any religion so you don't have the comfort of their beliefs of the afterlife. At this point I pull from all religions and have a belief in reincarnation, a little bit in ghosts and a odd belief in continuing life in another world after this. Blame that one on syfy television. 32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.Across the street from my childhood home was a park and beyond that was a downward hill with a field and a pack of trees and beyond that was another downward hill with a patch of trees and a sewer and a maze we made from tall grass. I loved that spot. It was everything a child could ever want in a hide out. One time the older kids made a fire and we ate sausages down there. Good times. 33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.Watch TV or vent to you. 34: Talk about the worst physical pain you've endured.When I sprained my neck and back and my mom drove me to the hospital on the most jacked up roads ever. Every bump hurt like hell. Mom was way to drugged up on her meds that she tried to take me to a regular clinic that didn't have an x-ray machine until I called my dad to update him and he said to take me to the actual hospital.. That day kind of sucked and I couldn't do gymnastics for like a month :/35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.I wish I could stop giving up on everything. 36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.I love watching game walkthroughs and napping and let's face it, masterbation 👌37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.The UK chick was a dud, moving on. 38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.I'm sorry I'm just currently too lazy to figure that out lol39: Talk about things you wish you'd known earlier.I wish I knew that I did not need to be that self conscious as a kid. I would have been happier. 40: Talk about the end of something in your life.Idk, when I graduated early from high school it was anticlimactic. I wasn't in the process of going to college yet so I had no forward movement. I was just done with high school and that was it. Had no job and basically no friends (was still getting to know you at the time tho) shit was lame.