#anyways overall i had a really great time in the sense that i cried a lot but also was v satisfied with it

[margoshamangolord]

IT'S BRAVERN THURSDAY BABY. THEORY TIME

(SPOILERS) I watched the ninth episode of Bravern twice in a row (I want a third time) and I am BURNING WITH EMOTIONS.

So. We confirmed the theory that Bravern is Smith, and even the crazy conclusion that Bravern is in some sense a kid/descendant of Smith and Knuth (or I watched with my ass?? in general, after watching i thought he used her power in some way for this to happen)

This answered some questions and created new ones. Let's say, how did Bravern know Isami's name in the first episode, is Bravern a deathdrive and who is he anyway.

But then who is the Lewis Smith we have seen throughout all the previous episodes? Where did Bravern come from if Smith had not yet died there and how did he even return in time?

We still haven't been told what the rest of the Deathdrives need and who they really are. Knuth's true goal was to merge with Smith, but he did not agree in this world. If he was Bravern from the beginning and was there with himself, then perhaps it's like a loop: the Lewises die and become the new Braverns. So, maybe there is a universe in which Bravern did not appear at all?

If he had agreed to merge with Knuth, then this would have collapsed the loop and Bravern would not have appeared in the next universe, and both worlds would have died - the first because of Isami's despair and the victory of Vanitas and Pessimism over Bravern, and the second because of for Deathdrive attacks and Bravern's absence

Maybe the Lewis and Bravern loop is Knuth's selfish wish? She said that she rewinded time over and over again, "repeating their tryst”(or something like that). Perhaps the moment of Bravern's appearance was the very “tryst” that she repeated? Killing and reviving Lewis again and again for the sake of this feeling? The loop can't end there every time

FUCK I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A FUNNY ANIME COMEDY WITH A FUNNY HUMANPHILE ROBOT AND THERE IS THINGS HAPPENING NO WORSE THAN EVANGELION. I SHAKED AND NEARLY CRIED WHILE I WATCHED THIS SERIES I WAITED A WHOLE 168 HOURS (!!!) IT WAS UNBEARABLE

THIS IS HYPERFIX

I will miss Lewis TERRIBLY. But I know that he will remain with him, in a different form though, and that there would be no other way out, but they will still be together and will be able to fulfill the promise. He was destined to this for Isami's sake every time

Other notes:

—Knuth's VA performed MAGICALLY, just LISTEN TO THIS WHAT HER VOICE HAS

—The voice actor of Vanitas is no worse 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏HE HAS SUCH A GREAT LAUGHTER

AND AT THE END, WHEN HE MOANS IN DEATH, I NEARLY DIED MYSELF. SO MUCH EMOTION

—I’m shocked by how they changed the design of Bravern and it reminds me of the changes to Optimus from the third season of TFP. Bro went to the gym

—I realized that I prefer original to Russian voice acting because Japanese actors are not shy about YELLING.

—LULU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

—Lewis flies naked and glows as if he was censored

Overall I'm shocked

[echobutgirlypop]

The Marvels SPOILERS

The Marvels Review:

Can I just say… Kamala totally had a celebrity crush on captain marvel. Like not even speculating. It’s just absolutely obviously canon.

Anyways the movie was really good and just all around enjoyable. It was pretty funny but also very emotional, I liked the story arcs they chose, the characterization totally works with what we already have etc etc.

I cried. A lot. Carol has ptsd and she’s lonely and depressed and she misses her best friend (or lover if you think of it that way), overall just a lot of GUILT. Her motivation to work so hard saving the universe must have partially been that guilt for a long time. For example she felt so bad that she abandoned Monica that she refused to let her do what she needed to do for the universe.

I think it’s cool that you can think of the story a lot of ways and you can relate to it and everything kinda is up to interpretation.

Kamala progressed SOOOO much as she turned from fangirl mini hero to a powerful knowledgeable and mature team member and superhero.

Another thing— THE LOOK OF THE MOVIE!!! I thought the special effects, costumes, set, poster of the movie, EVERYTHING looked amazing and worked and I loved it.

I am disappointed that they gave one of our most queercoded characters a fucking HUSBAND. But it’s fine because it seemed really platonic and chill which was sweet. :) and at least we got that extremely wlw scene with Valkyrie.

One thing that didn’t make much sense to me was that CAPTAIN MARVEL couldn’t fly a little faster to save monica at the end. Like she’s definitely powerful enough to cover that distance in that time. My theory is that she’s emotional and she can’t lose another person and she thinks Monica still hates her. Imagine someone crying while running. They’re kind of a mess, they’re not performing their best. That’s Carol in this situation.

Last thing: some of the choices were a little predictable, like I knew they were gonna use the flerkens to transport them and I knew the villain lady would betray them etc etc. also some of the plot stuff was a little random. But whatever that makes it interesting. Great movie, got screwed over by lack of advertising during strikes.

[nathanialhowe]

ALSO LIKE

siege of weisshaupt was a banger quest and overall interesting. however what the fuck.

the missed potential here and not just because bioware no longer gives a fuck abt the wardens of yesteryear we have vested interest in but because this game is so bad at creating tension and atmosphere. LIKE really excellent conceit (every warden in Thedas hearing the call at the same time) that they did not lean into for long enough even with Darvin. what! and the fakeout when they have genuine stakes--wardens having to die to fully kill an archdemon and putting a bandaid on it with "well maybe they've changed the rules". like maybe they HAVE bro but its like the game toes around rammies.

also like. lets be for real here. having like seventeen nameless grey wardens when you couldve had the ones we have emotional investment in. and that would have made. narrative sense to be there. the gap is just enormous and from a game dev stance i "get" it, I guess, but it's so glaring. imagine the little dudes we actually know abt giving their last stand at weisshaupt after all this time. lmao i might have cried. i DID cry--not because of things that happened in the quest--but because of brainworms i have for the wardens and the missed potential with the first warden LMAOO. imagine ur hof or loghain or alistair biting the bullet w the archdemon for real that time. man i wouldve gone probably insane. thinking abt ricky "i escaped my fate by doing dubious blood magic and bringing an unassuming child into the world for self-preservation rather than desire for a son" cousland actually having to face consequences and die a real warden's death against ghil's archdemon was like. man. overwhelming. would've been so neat to see it. would've really mattered. but here we are.

obviously i knewwww the hof or any of the prior wardens couldn't/wouldn't be there ever again. but it's so glaring it's impossible to look past. like who are these people. oh. "grey warden #1" "grey warden #2"...okay. at weisshaupt? yeah.

at leat the justice mention was cool! i guess.

also i miss having like 5 quests in the entire game but they each take like 3 hours to complete. this one just feels so overstuffed. like. BOOM BOOM BOOOM okay lore drop. can't think about it. who cares about the red lyrium idol! BOOM CRASH BANG more STUFF Is HAPPENING ITS THE END OF THE WORLD!!! BOOM BANG. EPIC CINEMATIC MOMENT WITH THIS RANDO ROOK. okay let's all talk about our feelings for a second in a hammy way. okay back to it. BOOM. BANG. CRASH.

anyway at least Davrin's stuff was pretty well written and ike amadi gives such a great performance.

[lawlietscaramels]

I think you and 🍰 have mentioned it before, but I’d love to hear your thoughts about the way the musical portrays L. The concept album was my introduction to Death Note as well, but I feel like the L in the songs is a much more dramatic take on L? Which, y’know, makes sense, since it’s ✨musical theatre✨ and all. Like, “The Game Begins” is SO fun, but we’d never get a monologue like it from L in the manga or anime. Idk, the musical paints a bit of a different image of L to me. Not a bad one at all, just a different one.

-🎲

holy space cows 🎲 anon okay let's go! again answering this before my other asks because it's more me rambling than an actual story

GOOOOOD musical L when I first watched the musical I wanted to pick him up take him out of the screen and squeeze him like a stress ball. honestly I loved (love?) him maybe even more than anime L dhdhhdh

I'll put a break in here because I think I'm gonna say a lot

like. he did so many things like anime L (I've never read the manga so I see that L as "base" L) but also I feel had his own quirks. like how he hopped onto chairs (Teen Angst L did this too but because it was screen not stage it felt different. I've done stage acting before so maybe it's just me but screen doesn't feel as close, I just loooove stage acting, UGH. This was also why it was more dramatic in some places, you have to act for the whole audience but, I'm assuming you didn't see it live, WAIT have you even watched the recorded version?? It's on YouTube it's sooo good the subtitles are great too, you can sing along to the songs. it's in Japanese tho. Anyway my point was going to be, because you're acting for people really far away, your movements will be big and dramatic and you'll notice this if it's recorded up close).

HIS VOICE WAS SO NICE TOO like damn this is a fine ass man. His songs, I agree looking back at them they aren't all things anime L would say, especially not unprompted. But I don't think that it was so far out of character that it was unbelievable, you know? I actually think that though yes, the Game Begins was dramatic, that was just the song and not the tone of it, if that makes sense. I'd say songs like Playing His Game and (I can't remember the name but the one LawLight duet they sing at the college? not the tennis one. UGH I know the Japanese...) Anyway, I'd say those songs are more ooc. Cause I think L sees all of his cases as a game, his job as a game. Like yes he cares about human life but he also only takes on interesting cases. I've heard this is more like his manga version, which is kinda cool that this "headcanon" of mine is "canon."

AHAHA anyway the point I was actually going to make with that paragraph was: in the final song (a little ooc but in some lines very in character) L holds this one "O" note that makes me go WEAK IN THE KNEES and of course Light is singing over it at the same time, sobs. This is in the Japanese version. I prefer that version overall, but I like some of the English songs too, like Playing His Game and Requiem. So if you haven't listened to it YOU SHOULD!! It's on YouTube music, you can search up english song name + death note musical. A lot of them are by "LyricNear" I think. and you can ofc watch the full musical. but aaaa the final song breaks my heart but I have to listen to that goddamn note... you guys... you don't understand.

Uh, the musical did of course take some creative liberties. There was no Matsuda which I will always bring up because it is a crime, MUSICAL REMISA WAS THE BEST, the limited runtime cut plots and explanations (I kind of appreciated the ending, though I cried because I was hoping it would end differently), and I don't think they had a Watari. Actually thinking about that, that's probably the most ooc L thing in the whole movie: being able to take care of himself. (well presumably to some degree considering he's still alive at the start)

But yeah... I love musical L... I don't mind when he's ooc because it only disrupts soft headcanons of mine, not hard ones. I also haven't watched it for a while so I may be misremembering some things, but still. Gosh I really want to hug him... his clothes look so soft.... maybe I'll just steal his voice box/j

[jaskierx]

This is probably gonna be quite incoherent so bear with me lol. I see that your askbox has become a place to rant (and this one isn’t even gonna be about izzy!! But I need to get my thoughts out somewhere!! Sorry in advance!!)

Anyway it’s been a relief to see other people in the fandom whose least favourite episode this season was ep 6. I always felt almost?? Mean for not liking it as much as everyone else seems to?? (and it’s not even that I dislike it!! It’s just my least favourite!) cause I feel like there was just too much going on for a single episode, everything went by too fast.

Anyway this isn’t about that it’s about ep 7 which most people seem to dislike. And I understand where people are coming from when they say that, I didn’t like it very much the first time I saw it! but after rewatching it yesterday for the first time since it aired I actually gained a lot of appreciation for it! I love the start and getting to see Stede and Ed be all domestic together!! (I’m a sucker for that shit) And I actually really love their fight too, just cause it shows us how much Stede understands Ed! He immediately notices that Ed is panicking and he responds so patiently even after being told that Ed thinks their night together was a mistake. Yes they said some hurtful things to each other but somehow I think that’s the least important part of that scene, at least to me. And it annoyed me when people kept painting Stede as the one in the wrong in their fight!! (Imo neither of them were in the wrong but that’s just personal opinion)

Where was I going with this? Basically I feel kinda alone in not liking ep 6 as much as everyone else and I think ep 7 is kinda under appreciated. Ahdgags I hope that made sense I’m terrible at expressing my thoughts towards media.

Screaming in your askbox cause I don’t wanna get too involved in the fandom myself cause it scares me lol. Thanks for posting good takes tho as always :) it helps me feel a little more sane

no i agree, ep6 is definitely one of my least favourite episodes (covered this a bit in my last ask). i didn't HATE it but it seems to do really well in polls about 'which ep is your favourite' and i just. do not vibe with it in the way that a lot of people do

and i agree that ep7 is underrated and i think that's bc it's objectively not a very feelgood episode and even though djenks had confirmed they'd end up together at the end, when it aired i saw loads of people worrying that they wouldn't get a happy ending at the end of s2, which i think has coloured people's perceptions of it

it's not a bad episode. it's a great episode tbh! we get their breakfast in bed (with twine for flourish) and 'hehe we didn't pay' and stede's newfound fame and his earring and zheng being really cool and frenchie and the gang getting their grift on and everybody's new favourite dearly departed side character steak knife (fly high with the angels king)

the argument itself is also really well written and feels so real (which definitely contributes to why so many people felt some kind of way about it) and manages to cover a bunch of irl relationship issues while still feeling right in the context of them being ye olde pirates - it's a beautiful realistic depiction of poor communication between people who love each other but not themselves and it gave me brainworms so i wrote a meta about it

but yeah overall the Main Event in ep7 is stede and ed arguing and ed leaving, so i get why a lot of people dislike it (or at least like it less than the other episodes) given that from ep3 onwards every episode has a big positive edstede moment (mermaid scene in ep3, 'i love everything about you' in ep4, 'you wear fine things well' and their kiss in ep5, being protective of each other and having sex for the first time in ep6, and obvs two beach kisses and 'i love you. i love you' and moving into their inn in ep8) (i nearly cried writing that out if you were wondering whether or not i'm normal about them)

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

2023 Movie Journey #17: Elemental

elemental. i watched this one earlier this week with my family...and i'm finally caught up on movie reviews! which means i can now post new ones right after i see the movies. yay.

this movie's cast has some actors who i know, probably most notably a guy i enjoyed in jurassic world dominion. but much, much more importantly, the star of this movie is leah lewis, so even if i hadn't liked the movie overall i still would have had a great time watching it.

i fell immediately in love with leah lewis's portrayal of george when i started watching nancy drew this year. and i mean immediately--i was watching with somebody who loved bess the most, and i had seen so much ace on my tumblr dash that i knew i'd like him too, but george was still my favorite character by the time i finished the pilot. without even knowing how great and rewarding her season 1 arc would be, or how much depth she would eventually have beyond her introduction as 'grudge-holding black sheep nancy's boss,' i could just tell she was my type of fave.

and even after watching the whole first season of nancy drew, it wasn't until i was rewatching it to show it to @actuallylukedanes that i accidentally learned george was played by leah lewis...and that i already knew her! she was in the half of it! which i watched and reviewed in 2020, and loved so much that i've wanted to get other people to watch it ever since. i didn't connect her performances at all, but even my review back then raved about how she was what made the movie good.

so when i realized she was starring in this, i was thrilled. and what i love about her is that she's consistently the kind of actor who has a real presence: she makes her characters engaging and stands out in a big way for somebody still young (though she started acting as a kid, so i know she's not new just cuz she's newish to me). she's signed on to the matlock reboot with kathy bates and i don't expect to love that cbs show, but i am very excited to try it anyway.

as for the movie though: i couldn't help but spend the first half just hearing george, in all her lines. not in a distracting or bad way, but a nice familiar feeling. i suspect the goal with animated disney heroines is to not make them too distinctive, because there's kind of a 'friendly normal' sound to the modern ones regardless of the actress that means even when i can recognize who's speaking, they all sound a little more similar than i would ever say they do in live action work. (either that or it's just me not being able to differentiate as well in animation, which is certainly possible.)

anyway, i loved everything about her work in this; she was the reason i cried a few times. in my opinion that's always a mark of good work, making an impressive amount of connection with viewers using just your voice.

i also really liked her parents and wade, despite the movie's core conflict revolving around all of them--this movie did a good job of explaining who everybody was as things went along, in a more than superficial way, so that it was much easier to still like people when the Bad Times came because they made more sense and were more sympathetic. as family conflicts go, compared to encanto and turning red, this one was my favorite because of that. no matter how angry or disappointed her father got, or how much that affected ember, i could still sympathize with him too and believe that his love for her was more important than anything else.

now, i know this movie got mixed reviews (or possibly worse? i only saw vague headlines) but i'm not really sure why! the metaphor they used to tell the story about immigration and a diverse society was maybe more blunt than usual, but i don't think that's a bad thing. and while it did center on themes that disney movies cover a lot (family expectations, parental disappointment, feeling like a failure, being an outsider, etc)...there are reasons those themes pop up so much!

especially when pixar movies are trying to appeal to both kids and adult audiences, i think it makes total sense to keep coming back to the 'classics.' again, there were a lot of thematic similarities between encanto and turning red and this movie (despite their differences in the details) and i watched those other two--encanto more than once--but still cried just as easily when ember confessed to her dad that she was a bad daughter, and when they bowed to each other before she left. the wounds between us and our parents never really heal, i think, at least not for everybody. so this movie tugged at me by just representing those feelings well, and making me care about the characters.

and when it comes to caring about the characters, probably my favorite thing about the movie besides the cast was the way the plot genuinely surprised me. i expected a happy ending, because it's a disney movie. but based on the trailer, i didn't know what to expect between ember and wade beyond 'they meet and things happen.' and the movie does such a good job of setting up the world they live in and the rules they live by that i believed them.

so in the beginning, i figured they were going to become unexpected friends, and navigating that alone would be a challenge. in that story, presumably the happy ending would've been something like, she learns that wade is right and she doesn't have to stay with fire people and never interact with the rest of the world, and they get to have further adventures.

but then! it turns out that this movie is going for romance. weirdly, i don't expect that from disney movies--you'd think i would when they're the home of princess culture and everything, but i wasn't a 'princess meets her prince for a happy ending' kid. i grew up with disney classics but didn't imprint on any of them.

instead, i was a don bluth kid! singing music from an american tail is literally one of my earliest memories, and my animated love story growing up was anastasia. if i squint, i can kind of see overlap between that animated romcom and this one, in terms of traumatic family history and a guarded, feisty female lead who gets what she thought she wanted all along just as she's also fallen in love with someone whose difference threatens her new fulfilled goal.

i'm not saying the two movies are very alike, lol...a zombie sorcerer belongs nowhere in elemental, obviously. but they both treat their romances with less sentimental sweetness, more sparkage and sincerity. the flirting in this is cute, and i loved them more the further along we went.

but of course, there's still that pesky plot-established problem that makes them a doomed romance. so once it was clear that their dynamic was about falling in love, not just befriending the 'other'...then i honestly expected a bittersweet ending where friends is all they can be. because this is disney, not pushing daisies, and in a world where nobody seems to have invented the elemental version of saran wrap for characters to safely kiss through, what kind of future could they have?

i did not expect them to give us this story where the characters are all believable in how firmly they believe (or don't, in wade's case) that different elements can't mix, and then for the story to show us those differences being overcome. i mean, that theme isn't exactly a new one, love conquering all, but the differences were so much more concrete here--it was life or death for them! when the parental disapproval alone was almost enough to ruin their chances!

i suppose you could flip my reaction to this movie and look at it the opposite way, and complain that their ability in the end to do what the story all along told us couldn't be done made it a waste of time, like the stakes were fake even if they didn't know that. maybe if you predicted the ending from the beginning, it could have felt that way.

but i didn't have expectations for the ending. so while i was really hoping ember and wade could be together, i was prepared for the alternative, a more modest 'crossing the aisles' journey of discovery for them both that opened her world and future and allowed him into her life from a safe distance going forward. instead, their whole story was wonderful and i love them and i'm so glad that they get to be the odd couple they are in a very divided world.

one last fun (if also slightly vexing) thing about this movie is that while it does end, it leaves a lot open, too. and i wanted to get to see ember start her internship; i wanted to learn about their new life and if it goes well for them once they're out in the broader world. i guess i wasn't ready to say goodbye to them, really, is all.

but that was fun at least on the level of seeing this with my family--it meant that after it ended, we were discussing what a sequel could be about, and that segued into a discussion about whether ember and wade could have kids or if they'd have to adopt--and how cool it would be if them having kids would create new elements or something. i love that idea a lot.

and i enjoyed this movie a lot. it was super pretty, i liked most of the characters, and it was unexpected romcom fun. i'm officially rooting for pixar to make more love stories now.

[femmefatalevibe]

hello, love!

i hope you remember me. i am that 16-year-old you helped navigate unhealthy hyperfixation regarding my famous, influencer/actor crush at school which i’m very grateful for. i gain a lot of self-compassion and i’m doing great really — had made to be part of the honor roll this term still :) — at least in that aspect of my life, i found the balance between my attraction and triggers to battle my insecurities. i really hope you’re not annoyed at my little drama at this point. i feel like it’s not even a big deal, why fuss so much about it? but i really felt safe opening this up with you through your amazing blog.

so now... i still didn’t make a move but at the end of the month (june), i plan to confess personally because it’s going to be the end of the school year and whatever is the outcome, i had a lot of time to focus on myself and everything’s going to be okay. but speaking of which, i’m kinda worried about because we never even had actual conversation. but i’m almost sure he knew me. through my friend who liked him of course. there was no progress between them and she actually started liking someone else months ago but they barely work out so whenever we’re at campus, i can still see her making excuses just to see him (my crush) though. we also have a couple of eye contacts so i hope that counts.

i am not denying in anyway that i am attracted to him, however, i do not intend to date him IF i actually have a chance with him. i just wanted to have closure and tell him how i feel and so i can move forward (assuming that it’s going to be the outcome given how transparent he is with his priorities and that is is his career) and i suppose it has to do with the fact that i am trying to heal and fix myself as well and not ready to commit to anything yet. i hope i make any sense.

i can’t stress enough how mortified i am just thinking about having to approach him but at the back of my thought it felt like i wanted him to know how i felt so bad. i think i’m going to pass out it sucks. i’m also worried because i feel like i’m betraying my friend who liked him.

overall, i just wanted to ask if am i doing the right thing? what can you suggest? should i still confess? how can i overcome this fear if you think it’s for the best? does this make me a bad friend? i really value your input given that you are the first one to even know this history.

btw, i hope you are doing well :) i genuinely miss interacting with you! i almost cried when you told me you feel like a proud aunt. i look up to you so much. ❤️

Hi love! I do remember you. So glad to hear that you're doing well, and congratulations on making the honor roll! That's a huge accomplishment. Hope that you're taking time to celebrate that <3

Please know that big emotions are SO normal at your age. Every conflict or new challenge feels like it's pivotal in our lives. Fortunately, these feelings mellow out over time as you begin to realize that all of these deadlines, intellectual stressors, and interpersonal relationships are constants – not exceptions – in our lives. Also, brain development and hormones affect this, so please don't be embarrassed. We've all been where you are now (speaking on behalf of myself and the women I know in our mid-late 20s). It doesn't get easier, but you learn how to manage these things. 16/17 is such a pivotal age that I thought this insight might be helpful.

From what you're sharing with me, it seems like his approval of your feelings will offer you some sort of social or romantic validation. This makes a lot of sense given his social credibility, but, especially if you're certain that you like your idealized perception of him versus him as an actual person, I think that it is worth journaling your feelings versus making a blind confession to him – both for the sake of your feelings and your friendship.

However, I do completely get that you want some form of closure to live without regrets. I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to humanize this crush of yours. Have you considered going up to him to give him a thoughtful compliment – whether on a cool jacket or something you enjoy from one of his videos? A genuine compliment is a near-foolproof social icebreaker that is undervalued when women are speaking to men (yet, we, as women, use it on each other all the time, lol). I've heard from several guys over the years that they don't get many specific compliments. So, I think this approach is a kind gesture and makes you more memorable.

Giving a compliment over a confession will save you a lot of petty drama if your friend takes your moment of truth the wrong way and protects your heart from a situation that you already stated is a means to an end. It gives you a chance to talk to him without seeming as though you overidealize his "celebrity" presence and allows the conversation to continue or taper off without leaving you emotionally raw or too vulnerable. The intention of the comment is simple to leave it open to interpretation and reads as perfectly innocent if no further actions are taken.

Just remember this sentiment you wrote for the challenges that lie ahead: "Whatever the outcome is, I had a lot of time to focus on myself and everything’s going to be okay." This is a golden truth to remember over the years (I'm still reminding myself this daily with no foreseeable end to this inner dialogue).

You're so sweet and doing great from everything you've told me!

Hope this helps! xx

[lumiereandcogsworth]

tagged by @thavron thank you my dear :)

1. are you named after anyone? yes! my great-grandma lydia. we share a birthday AND she died on her birthday exactly one year before i was born. a very fun and slightly spooky anecdote

2. when was the last time you cried? last night, i got a very angsty fic idea and as usual i somehow manage to put myself into the character’s shoes so easily and i was crying a character’s tears. last time i cried my own tears was the night before i think, or something like that. idk, i cry a lot lmao.

3. do you have kids? no but my build-a-bear stitch IS my son

4. what sports do you play / have you played? i played basketball from ages 6-17 and it was basically my entire personality. haven’t done any sports since then and probably won’t, though i’m trying to find some kind of exercise that could actually be fun :/ i loved rock climbing in college but there’s no wall near where i live. but anyway i’ll figure it out

5. do you use sarcasm? noOooOoo i would Neverrrrrrrr

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people? i genuinely have no idea, i don’t really look at people. maybe their voice/the way they speak? or their shoes cuz that’s where i be looking lmao

7. what’s your eye color? i don’t knoowww. blue green grey. depends on what i’m wearing, sometimes the blue really pops. but sometimes it doesn’t look like my eyes are blue at all so. i think they’re mostly grey.

8. scary movies or happy endings? once again this question makes no sense because a lot of scary movies (most?? nearly all????) HAVE happy endings. but anyway to quote the fairy fauna from sleeping beauty, i just LOVE happy endings :”)

9. any talents? well i like to think i’m an alright writer! i actually Know i’m a good writer at least when it comes to school essays because that was always where i got the most praise. but i think my fics are pretty good too!! writing’s just always come naturally to me. other than that idk, i’m pretty good at memorizing stuff when i want to.

10. where were you born? pacific northwest babey!!!! (northwestern united states)

11. what are your hobbies? writing and day dreaming are like, my two staples. i’m striving to make 2024 the year i start being more crafty though. i have a couple projects brewing and i have a batb 2017 coloring book that i just bought some markers for to start coloring more. in the future i’d like to try crochet and embroidery but i don’t wanna overwhelm myself. one step at a time

12. do you have any pets? no :( i’m just an auntie to a lot of pets. the one i see most often is my brother’s shiba inu, mishka. he’s my little baby nephew and i wanna eat his face off. but anyway i’d like a cat or two some day! probably whenever i move out of my parents’ house. (which i’m not in a big rush to do, i like it here :3)

13. how tall are you? somewhere between 5’5 and 5’6. but with shoes definitely 5’6

14. favorite subject in school? elementary to high school it was probably english/creative writing, since i’ve always had a knack for it. in college it was my two majors, comparative ethnic studies and history. my favorite CES classes were “race and racism in pop culture” and “blackness in film.” my favorite history classes were “history of the late middle ages” (shout out to my girl joan of arc!) and “history of ancient greece” which was my absolute favorite course in all four years of university. it was actually one i happened to take in the quarantine year (my junior year of college) but it still slapped even despite being over zoom. that professor was awesome and i was so obsessed with the material, i kept most of the books and even asked him for more recommendations. (haven’t read them all yet, but i like seeing them on my bookshelf lol)

15. dream job? whatever ends up supporting my desires in life, and brings me at least some semblance of joy. the job i have right now is actually really awesome. it has a couple downsides but overall i’m extremely happy with my job and it feels great :)

tagging: @gayassbenaffleck @freakwiththeknifecollection @gavotteangel @roberrtphilip @ariiiloves @autumnrose11 @ginnyweatherby @enchanted-keys @romeoandjulietyouwish @japhan2024 @splendiferous-bitch + anyone else can say i tagged them :))

[childofaura]

Ok I thought I was gonna be making one nitpicky rant about TLoU show deaths but

I guess I’m actually making two. Because I saw another death and while I find there was nothing broadly wrong with it, there was some cinematic choices that drove me bonkers that I just wanna stress over.

So the rest will be under the cut, but for starters, this is about Sarah and Tess

Ok so Sarah isn’t really the meat of this rant, but I do want to talk about her death scene in the show because several things about it had bugged me. And please, I’m not really here to talk about the race swap. Overall I think it’s a little sus, moreso because the actress is the daughter of one of the executives of the show; so it suspiciously indicates nepotism. But the actress herself actually managed to do a pretty great job for Sarah’s death so really I couldn’t give a shit. ANYWAYS, the show’s death. What bugged me about it was the fact that there were CUTS while Joel is trying to comfort her and struggling to pick her up. The beauty of the cinematic choice in the game, where it turns into one continuous shot the moment Joel crawls over to Sarah, is that it inherently puts us in that moment with Joel, and by panning the camera over instead of cutting each time, it really shows how Sarah is right at death’s door, like you can HEAR the exact moment that she cries her last little whimper and just... goes quiet, right when the camera pans towards Tommy’s face. The problem with having scene cuts is that it drags the scene out in such an awkward way. Plus, Sarah’s still actively crying while Joel is screaming for Tommy to help him, and then the moment it cuts to Tommy the audio just cuts out very clumsily. As it cuts back to Joel Sarah’s just already dead, and additionally it makes no sense for Tommy to call to Joel to have him realize Sarah’s dead when she was still screaming and crying right as the camera cut. And then additionally, I’m not fond of the addition of Tommy saying Joel’s name, it feels almost... cold and detached. Like the tone of that line is “Joel she’s dead, it’s too late”. Whereas in the game, he’s moving towards Joel and Sarah and he’s in so much shock because he’s watching his niece dying in a crying, bloody mess.

So long story short, nothing wrong with the scene itself (though I gotta say I don’t think I’m a fan of Pedro Pascal’s line deliveries while he’s trying to stop Sarah’s bleeding. That’s less of a “one’s better than the other” and more of “that’s just my opinion that the emotion of the line delivery in the game was better”). Scene stayed true to the game.

But ohhh, OHHHH, you wanna know which death REALLY ruffled my feathers? Tess. Tess’ death was done so damn dirty in the show compared to the game (and side note, I hate the change to Tess’s character design. I loved the short hair held up by the headband, and I loved the short sleeves that showed her arms). I think by changing the entire death in the show, you take away from the character herself, and let me explain how.

In the game, they get to the Firefly meeting place, the Fireflies have been wiped out, and we find out Tess has been bitten. The military shows up, and Tess tells Joel that she’ll buy them some time and convinces both him and Ellie to leave. And the IMPORTANCE of her line “I WILL NOT turn into one of those things!”, which I’ll talk about. Joel and Ellie leave, Tess composes herself and gets ready to fight the soldiers. As you leave, you hear gunshots and hear Tess scream, and you find out she took out two soldiers; there was six guys and Tess took down two of them. This death is a perfect encapsulation of Tess’ character: resilient, stubborn, tough-as-nails, takes matters into her own hands. That is a death that treats the character with respect and actually plays into the character’s personality. It FITS. Tess is a woman whose life, her choices, it’s all in her hands and she will do what SHE wants to do.

In the TV show, they get to the Firefly meeting place, the Fireflies were killed by infected, and everything still plays out the same with Tess’ infection reveal (and I gotta say I’m not a fan of the dialogue choices nor am I a fan of the fact they tried to heavy-handedly push how Joel and Tess are a couple with the cuddling scene, whereas in the game the ambiguity of their relationship plays better into that final scene. I like the “Look, there’s enough here that you have to feel some sort of obligation to me” way more). Joel hears the infected, Tess starts tipping over some gasoline and grenades, and Joel and Ellie leave. Tess is panicking and frightened as the infected approach and flood in while trying to light the lighter, and then the BULLSHIT. The FUCKING KISS from the infected. And no I don’t wanna hear any ‘bUT it’S NoT A kISS, iT’S INfeCTiNg HEr’ excuses. It’s a fucking kiss disguised under the thin veneer of being some cool new infected lore, and it changes the entire death from a defiant last stance to a creepy, voyeuristic scene that’s going for a cringe-out factor. Like... Sure, you COULD explore that method of infection, it COULD be a neat behavior that we haven’t seen before.

But you don’t do that for Tess. She’s the wrong character to explore that with, and the show better actually try to stay consistent and show that again if people are gonna use the excuse of that scene being necessary. And the reason why it bugs me so much is because Tess, despite her short time in the story, is such a poignant character. She’s Joel’s partner, she’s OUR first partner. Taking that power out of her hands, putting her in this freaky powerless position where it’s like she’s being taken advantage of, does not compliment the character, especially when the death is a very easy to pull off trick that only solely relied on the lighter not working for cheap tension. If you wanted to give us a tense action scene, they could have actually shown us the Tess gunfight scene from her perspective, maybe give her one or two more kills than she had in the game. But this death was really insulting to the character.

TL;DR I’m incredibly autistic about all this dumb shit and it really just boils down to a difference of opinion.

[amchara]

I have finished House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City 1) by Sarah J Maas and it was both the most engaging and enraging book I have read in a long time.

Spoiler-free verdict: If you enjoy gritty, urban fantasy setting with a decent murder mystery and larger conspiracy plot, with some great melding of usual tropes and fantastic plot twists- this is a book rec.

Character-wise and 'ship-wise... ehhh, okay. Sarah J Maas is an interesting author for me - I almost always enjoy her plots, when there is one that isn't being superceded by relationship angst.

I can take or leave most of her romantic ships arcs but I actually usually adore the platonic (sibling, friends, mentors etc) relationships. This book followed that same path - Danika and Bryce's friendship was EVERYTHING, honestly- sooo good, alongside Bryce's relationships with her parents, Ruhn and his friends, and her interactions with Jesibah, Tharion, the Viper Queen, etc. And even her friendship with Hunt, as it was developing into something more.

But somewhere along the way, SJM always seems to fall into the trap of... all male/female romantic relationships must kind of follow A/B/O dynamics or just borderline abusive Dom/sub kink dynamics.

It was less evident in this book than in ACOTAR series but there's still that gender essentialism that creeps in where, once it turns romantic, the man (sorry- in SJM parlance, the male 🙄) must turn into a possessive asshole who only thinks with his cock. And while I can accept that might happen with some of her characters as it seems to be coded into some of the fantasy races societies (ie. Fae), it also tends to rear its head in other characters where imo, it really doesn't make sense.

And it then bleeds into other characterisation and becomes a problem.

Spoilers:

I wanted to like Hunt more than I did. An angel who fell for love and a desire to change things for the better? Who has had 200 years of slavery to consider how he could take his revenge and what he'd do differently? Why then... was he so bland? *cries* Okay, I get traumatic woobieness (and I appreciated that was addressed and I did adore Bryce taking care of him in that one scene and all that...) but I still feel like there should be a ruthlessness and zealotry running through his core. He's a fallen angel so I want to see that grey morality!

Especially... when it was revealed that he had decided to lie to Bryce about the synth. I was so happy to see that twist and I was like YES, GIVE ME THAT RUTHLESSNESS AND GIVE NO FUCKS... and then, it all just fell a bit flat? Argh, I don't know how to entirely describe it except that he felt quite generic love interest™️ and limited personal development in his own character arc.

But that might be because SJM reverts to a lot of tropes (scents her arousal, purrs/snarls, gets overly angry protective over love interest) when she starts her romance arcs.

Maybe I'll enjoy Hunt a bit more now with his slave halo off- and as it seems like maybe the next book we'll actually deal more with the arc-angels.

Bryce suffered a bit from super specialness by the end too but honestly, I thought the reveals about her being another Starborn heir was earned - and intertwined enough with her trauma and history with Danika and foreshadowed enough throughout the book that it felt natural for her to save the city and close the gates with that power.

(that being said- SJM, stop cribbing from the Black Jewels Trilogy lol- the Drop being pretty much the same as when witches descend from their birthright jewel to their adult one)

Last things to mention... it was a kind of slow start but damn- those last two hundred/one hundred pages of the story? Whew- when the city was actually saved it was such a cathartic moment and I actually shed a tear and I did not expect that.

Anyway, overall- solid effort and I'm looking forward to the next book- I guess I'll just suffer through the tropey bs that seems to be SJM's jam.

Tagging @belle-keys because your rec was enough for me to decide to take a look at it.

[1d1195]

Sam my love I’ve missed you this week😭😭😭 I have MANY things to catch you up on and I fear it’s gonna be a two parter 😭 (I’ll try not to yap too much lol)

WDYM SAM IVE MENTIONED THE HARRY WITH A BREEDING KINK?!? BESTIE😭😭😭😭 I wish my memory wasn’t shit so I could remember 😔 BUT I LOVE BEING SURPRISED SO I CANT WAIT TO BE SENT INTO A FERAL SPIRAL HAHA

I thought I would HATE audio porn lol I hate asmr stuff so in my head I thought it would be like that but I’m glad it was not that lol and honestly I totally get being more into the plot! Bc that’s literally me!! And it’s always such a surprise when you do write smut and I love it lol

Omg AP stats and calc?!? I’m also not surprised you love calc and bestie that’s so cool of you! I love that your brain just get it ya know! Anyways I’m sure you’re doing a GREAT job at teaching both💕💕

You’re so kind 😭 and you’re so right about getting it for a deal I think maybe that’s why I’m obsessed lol being “basic” is fine like there’s a reason why it’s so loved because you can’t really fuck up lol I LOVEEEEE flowers in any form so I totally get it! Wait I love that you have a good dynamic with your students 😭 that’s so sweet!!!

The made to be couple is so amazing! Such a heartbreaking story when I read for the first time I’m pretty sure I cried at one point lol and another teacherry idea?! A WIN!!!

It actually hurt me so much too see how she was being used like that’s not normal😭😭(I’m the same but at least I can accept it now lol) and you know I love the classic “kitten” nickname it’s truly your trademark! So I don’t see anything wrong with having it for your stories plus poppy was cute and it made sense for the story! BESTIEEEEEE you have no idea how much I love that you’re even considering using a Spanish nickname! And yeah I do speak it and mi vida is very acceptable and common! Another common one would be “amor” or “cariño”! Also it was similar to Tulips BUT they are still so different if that makes sense!

I LOVE A NERD!!!! He’s sounds so amazing I can’t 😭 him being so into her and just caring enough about her to learn her interest😭 he’s definitely book bf material!

Aww thank you! It was my uncle who passed and oddly he was someone I enjoyed being around with lol but the whole process of being around family memebers is just a no for me! And like I simply can’t with them!! Anyways I’m glad that I’m not really alone in feeling like that!

Okay so this quarter is all psyc courses! All upper division and they are something lol bestie one of them is 3 HOURS😭😭😭 I won’t make it😭 but the topics seem interesting enough lol I have two that revolve around clinical treatment, assessment, and a bit of history behind psychology methods. Then one about development which seems cool since I already took a class about parenting! And one about eating disorders which I’m kinda the most excited about even if the grading scheme in that course sucks lol BUT SAM I HAVE A WIN!! I HAVE A HOT TA THIS QUARTER 🎉🎉🎉 idk if I’ve mentioned him before but I had him as a TA for my first year and when I tell you I was shocked when walking into that lecture hall… I was too stunned to speak!! He’s so hot to me I can’t 😭Anyways overall the professors seems nice but who tf knows at this point bestie I’ll probably be dying in two ish weeks when midterms start lol

I kinda had to dye it again bc my roots girl were so bad lol I now see how oddly fast my hair grows bc those roots were showing lol but honestly I find it every fun and freeing almost lol but i totally understand not wanting to commit because it is something you can’t easily fix! but if it’s not something you really want to do there’s nothing wrong with that!-💜

I've missed you so much! I'm sorry it was a busy week 😭

I can't wait to write it now hehehe 🤭

Obviously I'm obsessed with friends to lovers audio porn so I've been enjoying all the little lead up parts to the actual sex. I've mainly been skipping around the audios listening for the sweet parts of him telling her how beautiful she is and how much he likes her 😭😂 I think I just need a good audio book, right? Like that's what that means? Idk, I don't care either hahahaha. I think it'll help inspire a bit more smut (I may or may not be writing something now for Thursday 🤷‍♀️)

I think I cried during Made To Be multiple times. I'm def an angsty girl at heart 😂 This teacherry idea is going to be probs dumb but I don't care. I'm trying not to read too much into my own ideas because it's fiction and fun.

AMOR (OBVIOUSLY) and cariño I love that! Idk if I have a storyline for them yet. I also don't know if it would make sense for me to use it because I'm not sure I could tie in a reason (okay, hold on I'm envisioning a meet cute after a long day at work and Harry is just blown away by the girl at the bar of a Mexican restaurant because she's just obsessed with tacos, chips, and guac and probably margaritas--I know Harry loves tequila). I just don't want to offend anyone more than I probably do by being whiter than a piece of paper ☠ But I really love the sound of cariño 😭 like now it's all I'm going to think about for weeks. One of the book series I was reading called her gatita so I could see myself using both--okay, you've convinced me. I'll use some spanish hehehehehehe. I def got mi vida from Encanto 😭 I thought it was adorable and I could so see a lovesick Harry using it.

I love my family. I would do anything for them. But they're the worst. Whenever someone gets married and they play the shoe game I'm always the side of designated side of the family that's "who's side of the family is crazier" -_- It ain't much, but it's honest.

I'm OBSESSED!!!! Please share anything you feel like sharing about your studies. One of the many degrees I would love to get is psychology. I LOVE the brain. I think it's fascinating. 3 HOURS THOUGH. I love the sound of all your courses. Everything sounds fascinating. I'm so excited for you! I know it will be a lot but hopefully the interest will make it worthwhile.

Does that mean your TA has a cute nose?! 😂😂 Tell me about his forearms too 😭 I'm literally so excited about this. Send me tidbits for inspo. I'll be praying for you around midterms time 💕

I've always thought a burgundy reddish/purple would be fun for me but again, can't commit, lol. I've had the same hairdresser since I was a kid, she would probs have a stroke. I should just ask her what to do. See part of me doesn't want to deal with the upkeep either. You're a stronger woman than me. If I saw roots I would be like "That sucks, oh well." I swear sometimes I should have been a guy. I think the higher powers forgot to turn a few knobs and switches before sending me out into the universe 😂

✨See you in part 2!!! ✨

xoxo

[timewasjustadream]

Feel free to skip.

Stress and anxiety rant below the cut. I feel like ranting might help me feel a little better. I don't expect many people to read this and that's okay. (thanks @sussexbound for the opportunity. also never played bg3, but love the Astarion posts)

Right now, not so great. Cried last night. Been in bed most of the day. But I didn't sleep well last night so I'm also really tired today. I did my grocery shopping and did some Pokemon Go (keeps me sane). But otherwise, just been in bed. I also got mad at my dad for forgetting about plans we had talked about for this Friday, my birthday. He has not apologized yet.

Last weekend, I got spoken to very rudely by a superintendent from the Home Arts building at a county fair I volunteer at (and have for the last 30 years, since I was 4). She doesn't like me because I'm smarter than her, I understand the building better than her, and I educated the public about the dangers of outdoor cats on an educational display about bats and cats in 2019. You would have thought I told the public to find her barn cat and shoot it. I just said the truth: they kill millions of birds and small mammals, they are less healthy and live shorter lives, and they spread diseases like toxoplasmosis.

She spoke me to rudely after I proposed a solution to a problem she was moving from one department to mine. I chair Children's and Teenage Crafts (and have for the last 15 years) and I use 4 display cases to display my entries. Baking (chaired by her daughter for the second year) will likely lose their only display case because it is falling apart. Her solution to the problem was take one of mine.

My mom, another superintendent, already told her no. But she said it anyway at the chairmen's meeting last weekend. I proposed we purchase a new one locally for about $1000 so that I'm not down a display case and she went off at me. Like "Don't you think we're not working on it?!" (referring to trying to repair the broken one) and a few rude sentences later "[My name], at some point, you're just gonna have to give!" I left that conversation, if you can even call it that, with a fight-or-flight response. I felt unsafe. I still feel unsafe around her. And I kinda have for years. When she talks to me and thinks no one else will hear, she treats me like this. She's all smiles to everyone else. No normal adult behaves like this. Gives me narcissist vibes. But there is some other type of mental pathology going on with her. This is not normal.

And then the third superintendent got involved a few days later and I had to have a call with the third one (a 93 year old) to defend myself since they say I'm uncooperative and other mean, untrue things about me.

The above may not make much sense. I'm leaving out some things for ease and to not make this a book. Overall, I'm treated very poorly by the mean one (60-ish year old). All my years of service seem to mean nothing. Many people have asked me why I have stayed as long as I have. I don't know.

Work stuff is really stressful right now. Can't talk specifics, of course. Generally, I'm trying to make some changes to some methods (I'm a chemist) and I have support from my supervisor. She really likes the changes and thinks they are improvements to the methods. But going through the change process, things just got a lot more complicated and I don't know what the path forward is, if there even is one. I know this doesn't make it sound stressful, just frustrating. If I could talk specifics, it would sound really stressful. Trust me.

My mom has pretty significant health issues right now. She had back surgery in November, fractured a vertebra, and had surgery again about a month ago. She's been in a nursing home since the second surgery and will be released this week. She also likely has diabetes since the incision from the first surgery had not fully healed by the time of the second. She has circulatory issues in her legs, which makes me concerned about heart failure, heart attack, and/or stroke in the future. Also pretty certain I'm seeing increasing signs of dementia (both her parents passed from it).

Going back to the fair drama, it brought back a lot of past trauma from past incidences at the fair where I was yelled at by various people and brought to tears. Both of these incidences occurred before I could drive (less than 16 years old). And how no one defended me. Had my dad been there, they wouldn't have tried. But they do it when my mom is there because they know she won't defend me. She has always had depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem so she can't even defend herself when they are rude to her. But she doesn't defend me. Her only child. So now I'm getting pretty strong feelings of anger at her for not being a protective parent. I used to have a therapist but he had a recent divorce and he moved out of state to be closer to his own aging parents. So I don't have a therapist right now. Thinking I should probably find another one.

I'm also single and pretty close to giving up on finding someone. Being grey ace makes online dating, which is already really hard, even more difficult. I don't have romantic attraction to people I've just met. It takes a WHILE to get those feelings.

Right now, there isn't a lot of hope or joy. Just taking things day by day. Trying to find small things to look forward to in the near term. Like on June 1st, a cemetery conservation group is doing a day-long workshop/demo/lecture-ish thing at a cemetery in my town. I'm into conservation and geology, so cemetery conservation is the perfect intersection.

Hoping that once the work stuff is resolved or at least a path forward is identified, things will be better. Not sure how the fair will work out this year. I might come back to this post in late July/August with updates.

I'm probably going to have to take time off work soon just to get a mental break. I have vacation planned in late September for Boston. I've never been, but have been wanting to go for years. I hope late September isn't too crowded. I know it isn't the best time to visit in the fall, but I don't want to deal with crowds. And I'll be driving up so I'll have my car to be able to get around. Currently planning to do things in Boston for one or two days, then see Salem, southern New Hampshire, and Rhode Island.

Hey All,

Honestly now - how are we all doing given, well--the state of everything.

Are we thriving? Surviving? Do we have passion or hope for the future? Or are we just working hard at making it through, one day at a time? Trying to find little joys where we can? Dissociating our way through life? Filled with joy? Making big plans for the future? Or, hey, I'm still here, so that's something--right?

Just taking the tumblr temperature. Looking for solidarity or something. Don't know.

Maybe I want to believe that people still manage to have hope and joy and reasons to get up in the morning. Or maybe I want the solidarity of knowing that there are others who are finding it as hard as I am.

Honest answers only. Can be in tags, comments or reblogs. I don't care. Just share! (and reblog for reach)

[rascheln]

spoilers for evangelion 3.0+1.0

- i always felt bad for not really liking asuka in the series (even though i understood why she is the way she is) and i’m really glad that the rebuild movies and especially this last one made me appreciate her so much more. a lot of asuka’s growing up was done off-screen simply through the passage of time. she didn’t get to be fully human, but she did get to grow and make new connections (mari and kensuke especially felt super important!!!). the fact that both her and shinji acknowledged their crushes as kids, but also that it was clearly a sign that their relationship had moved beyond that?? yeah, holy shit. also, out of all the EVA pilots asuka has always been the most warrior-like. she trained for this, she dedicated her life and existence to it and in exchange got immense loneliness. shinji coming to save her and making up for his indecisiveness so she could finally live in a world without EVA was very much the ending she deserved.

- i really loved not-rei’s time in the village. it was like a mirroring of the previous rei finding out how to be human, but doing so within a community. it was so beautiful and heartbreaking, an acknowledgement of the humanity of a person who was never meant to exist as a person. previous iterations of evangelion have these rare moments in nature, but its world has always been overwhelmingly focused on the city, on work environments and closed-in spaces (apartment, school, offices etc) and has been marked by a stark absence of a feeling of existing within a larger community and nature, of just people living and working in the same space. both domestic and work life flowing into each other, a neighborhood instead of a nameless apartment complex separate from others. and within that community, not-rei may not have been ‘ayanami rei’ when she arrived, but she came very close to being her all on her own, without anyone disregarding the fact that she wasn’t really her.  idk, it was an incredibly beautiful section of the movie and while it ended exactly how i expected it to end for her, it still felt incredibly important to see her go through that journey. but goddamn was it still painful to see her go :((

- that said, it was also important that this time around, it’s rei reaching out to shinji and offering him kindness. she gifted that kindness to him and the realization that not just she, but other people care for him- that his existence is worth caring for. i think him seeing her die was also important. it transformed her into a reflection of ‘his’ rei as well and allowed him closure for losing someone so dear to him. not-rei’s short life was filled with meaning she got to create for herself and in her final moment she chose to gift shinji with that experience she gained.

- another aspect of the series that i think the rebuild movies have shown beautifully is misato growing from being a young adult who gets thrown into a parental role for shinji (and mostly failing miserably at it) to not just becoming a mother herself but actually taking on that parental role for shinji (even if it’s still in a fucked up way lol). i think her letting her son grow up on earth is also very, very different from gendo abandoning shinji, because she clearly made sure her son was well taken care of and grew up happy. she keeps tabs on both boys and while she can’t take on the traditional role of mother, she still shows especially in this movie that she very much sees herself as carrying a responsibility for their lives.

- kensuke and toji growing into adults and treating shinji with so much kindness and patiently waiting for him to return to society felt so right. and kensuke being one of the people to be asuka’s friend was such a wonderful way to show how asuka has also grown up, even if she physically doesn’t look to be the same age as them. 

- kaworu saying his and shinji’s names are written next to each other in the book of life, i- ......!!!!!!!!!! i really liked the comparison of him and gendo, because in a way kaworu too is so hell-bent on only reaching the person he loves, to the point of destroying himself over and over again because he has no idea how to achieve happiness for them and is so set in this one way that he can’t see any other solutions. but, y’know, that’s exactly why shinji needed to be the one to grow up just enough to find that happiness himself and in turn break the cycle to save kaworu. in my head he and mari and running to meet up with everyone else at the end of the movie haha

- they made gendo apologize to shinji and they showed him and yui reuniting through her remnant in unit 01 and in a way giving shinji the ability to live by becoming one and sacrificing themselves in the process was!! so damn good!!! i think evangelion has so many big themes to it, but especially 3.0+1.0 is an exploration of parenthood and creating life and the many different ways people choose to be or not to be parents.

and gendo always had to recon with his choices.

i think the word “kejime” (taking responsibility/setting things right) is mentioned to shinji, but it very much also applies to gendo.

[bookofmirth]

please share your stranger things thoughts i’m curious 👀

okay but I am not going to tag this because I don't want people yelling at me! I am disagreeing with posts that have 5k+ notes so... I will put everything under the cut and still tag it as spoilers.

Fair warning! Stranger Things 4 spoilers below.

(Sorry it got long-ish, I have a lot of thoughts. I liked the season overall, btw. I know a lot of people are pissed about how it went but I'm not!)

The second - the second - that Mike told El he loves her, I was like oh shit. Here we go. That fandom collectively just imploded.

While I understand why people ship it - why wouldn't we want Will to get everything he's ever wanted? - I never thought it would actually happen because I saw no hints at all that Mike is queer.

I didn't feel either way about it happening, for context. If Mike/Will happened great, if not great. I'm not super attached to... probably any of the ships at this point, other than lumax. I've never really cared about Mike/El, at this point breaking up Nancy and Steve in season two feels like a mistake they are now trying to fix, I guess Joyce/Hopper is alright. My point is that I had no horse in this race.

Is Will queer? Obviously, and idk why people are mad that he didn't come out. Like what would that even look like? This is 1983-1986, remember. What community does Will have, as a queer person? What role models in his immediate, personal life? How do people around him talk about queerness? (A friend pointed out that they were also in the middle of the AIDS panic, which would have a major influence on how Will sees his own queerness, if he could even define it or label it in the first place!) I understand that there are fantastical elements to this story, obviously, but they are still living in our world, in our 1986.

It's super easy for people on tumblr to be like "just come out, just say you're gay!" but we have basically this whole website as support to do that, we can find communities online. When Robin "came out" she didn't actually say anything either? She just said "Steve" and gave him A Look until he figured it out. Call me crazy but these two characters can exist being queer without wearing their "I'm gay, ask me how" buttons to work/class every day.

So yeah I personally don't think there was any queerbaiting because, as a bisexual who has watched this show since the beginning and probably rewatches once a year, I am satisfied that Will is indeed queer and Mike is not and Robin is. I don't need a ship to happen, I guess, I just need the queer characters to actually be queer, and I think that Jonathan's talk with Will in the pizza place set that up perfectly to happen in the final season! Because now Will knows 100% that he can live his life, figure out who he is, and perhaps find someone to be with who is not his straight best friend. I don't think that anyone is arguing that Will isn't queer. (I keep using "queer" instead of "gay" because I did lowkey think he was aro/ace for a while, and he hasn't put a label on it. He's probably gay because that was some serious unrequited pining, but anyway.) We know he is! So are people mad that he and Mike aren't happening? Because ships aren't a guarantee. That particular ship not happening is not queerbaiting. It also reminds me of e*riels sorryyyyy I had to say it, it's just another example of making mountains out of molehills!

Like I said above, Will is obviously queer, and they have set him up to live his best queer life in the last season. I don't feel "baited" in the slightest.

(Side note, I don't pay attention really to interviews or articles or whatever is said outside the show itself. Much like any interview or event with Sarah J Maas, I don't rely on that event to tell me things that the show/book hasn't already told me.)

Now, Eddie. His death was sad, I cried both times (because I've watched the episode twice haha) but it did make sense, to me. He felt guilt for having left Chrissy behind, though obviously he couldn't have done anything about that. He couldn't have saved her, but like Max's guilt over Billy, that doesn't make him feel any better about how he responded to the situation. His death was not pointless? When he and Dustin went back to Hawkins, they would have ceased being a distraction for the bats. The second they leave, the bats would go back to the murder house, where Steve, Nancy, and Robin were trying to kill Vecna's body. They were supposed to be a distraction for a reason, they weren't just on a field trip to the Upside Down. So Eddie stopped, realized he was running again, and that doing so would actually in this case have been leaving other people in a lurch. (Now that I am writing this, I wonder if Steve had an influence on Eddie's decision to stay and fight. Something to think about.)

One more thing, but I also don't care that Vickie was kissing her boyfriend? The girl could be bi! Bisexuals exist y'all, and the fact that people are annoyed that a potentially bisexual woman was kissing her boyfriend,,,,... it just grosses me out tbh. Is Rickie their ship name, btw? So yeah, bisexual Molly Ringwald is gonna hopefully be a great girlfriend for Robin.

idk, some of the criticism I've seen just doesn't totally make sense when we still have another season coming. And when, like with Will, I feel like these things are going to continue/be resolved. I was watching something a while back and Oliver Stone was talking about the movie Wall Street, and how being a director means knowing that the viewer is absolutely going to misunderstand your intentions. I think there is a lot of that going on right now.

I liked this season. Some of the memes making fun of it had made me laugh. I'm not trying to be an active member of the fandom, I just have a lot of thoughts. (If this somehow gets outside of my usual fandom/followers, just FYI that I don't hesitate to block a bitch.)

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[br-disaster]

Nie Huaisang’s outfits appreciation post

After the terrible loss of our second best dressed cultivator and fashion icon Nie Mingjue, the cultivation world now lacks one of it’s pillars. But little did they know, our fashion king had a disciple, someone capable of honoring his legacy in many ways.

While we all grief, a new icon rises.

And I’m here to prove that Nie Huaisang deserves his late brother’s title not only because Mingjue’s no longer serving looks -may his fashionable soul rest in peace-, but because Huaisang has always been a stylish icon on his own.

I mean, this look right here is enough proof:

 Huaisang has quite a lot of robes, and they are all so different, I decided to compile them chronologically:

1. the “assigned fashionable at birth”one

Look at this small bean with his cream-colored robes. Whoever chose this color for him did a great job, though it’s a bit weird that they looked at baby Mingjue and went “all you’ll wear is dark gray from now on” and then Huaisang was born and “cream it is!” And we don’t really see anybody else from the Nie sect wearing this color, I wonder if it has anything to do with Huaisang’s mom, or if it’s just for the dark\light color contrast,  the two young masters can’t possibly wear the same colors, it would ruin the aesthetic.

 It looks just like his main-possibly-stay-at-home-robes, like he just really loved this especific set and had a lot of other robes that looked just the same growing up.

Really small, really cute, makes you want to carry him around saying: look at my baby, he’s so stylish!

2. the “good old Gusu days” one

This is like a uniform, there’s nothing really special about it. But I’d like to point out two things:

One: the silver embroidery on the shoulders and the silver on his waist belt matches the pristine white of his robes really well.

Two: look how wide his shouders look, there you go, Huaisang, keeping the Nie shoulder game strong!

3. The “it’s called fashion, dage” one

Cream-colored again! It embodies teen!Huaisang’s aesthetic perfectly: it’s expensive, it’s pretty, it looks comfortable, but it’s minimalistic.

I mean, I have no idea if it is actually expensive, but it surely looks expensive.

It has no discernable patterns, but the fabric just looks so good, look at the texture. It looks warm and heavy (rip Ji Li). And it’s pleated, look at him! Everything about this one screams rich-carefree-spoiled-delicate-pretty-gongzi.

And well, we see him strolling around and getting in trouble instead of going straight home in this robes, then on Fatal Journey we see him painting landscapes instead of practicing and claiming he doesn’t want to become the Nie sect leader in this very set of robes. Maybe he has indeed been wearing similar robes since his childhood and wants to, you know, go back to when things were as simple as taking the long way home coming back from Gusu.

4. the “didn’t really engage on the war but needed to look good regardless” one

This one is so pretty, y’all. It’s silver and white and gray, the brothers  are matching with their disciples’ robes, you won’t find a Sect with a superior fashion sense.

I can totally understand why he didn’t change to some post-Sunshot robes. Imagine looking this good at home, with none of your friends or disciples or brother to see you. Nope. This robes belong to a banquet, even one as unpleasing and akward as this one.

(They technically saw him, since he wore the same robes while they were planning the whole Sunshot thing, but no one was paying attention to it, right? And you can’t let such a nice look go to waste)

One of my favorites, for sure. It even matches his fan. It’s peak aesthetic.

5. the “I’m only here for the food and the drama” one

I didn’t really like this one at first. It looked kinda futuristic in my head, you know? It’s probably just the really structured fabric and the color, but It was a bit too much.

But now, looking at it as I take screenshots, I like them. It’s bold and fierce and remember the shoulder accessories being a code for battle? Well, I doubt Huaisang shot a single arrow that day, but he was supposed to be competing, so it makes a lot of sense that he’s dressed like this while his brother is wearing his pretty, dark yet lighter civillian robes to watch him.

He’s even wearing epaulettes (well, I trust that that’s the name) that matches the ones Mingjue wore with his Sunshot robes! Are they the same pair? Did he borrow it? Or do they secretly comission the same robes and accessories  and wear them on alternate occasions?

These are the most battle-coded (and at the same time is not battle-coded at all, it’s too ostentatious) robes we see him wearing until now, and he is representing his sect at the hunt, he has to look like a proper heir that is capable of fighting, whether he likes it or not - and judging by how unenthusiastic he was during the opening shoot-the-wen-prisioners ceremony, I’d say he was not enjoying it at all-.

But it’s such a cool look, I really like it now.

6. the “he will throw hands with a non-corporeal entity while giving his big brother all the love and understanding he deserves” one

 This may look like the same robes we usually wears at home, but they lack the pleated part and I don’t think his long sleeves would fit inside his wirst thingy, which I now know it’s called a vambrace or a bracer,  they were quite wide sleeves.

Anyway, we again have his minimalistic aesthetic. No patterns, the only addition being the outer robe that realy looks like the one Mingjue wears with his stay-at-home robes, except with no sleeves; and the bracers\vambraces.

But look how different this looks in comparison with the previous one; he wasn’t fighting shit in those pompous silver robes, but he was so determined here, ready to face anything. This is the difference between a battle-coded look and a battle-codded Huaisang.

It’s practical, it’s pretty, looks comfortable and it’s perfect for scolding your older brother then comforting him because he gets emotional when people argue with him, ok?

Huaisang is the best younger brother, fight me

8.the “sad, sad” one

I’ll just say that the inner robes are really similar to the one Mingjue wears with his stay-at-home robes, though they are not the same. Perhaps my theory that they did comission a lot of similar itens is correct after all.

I don’t think this look is particularly good, and the context surely doesn’t help at all, but it’s interesting to see him in gray and black.

 Overall, I hate it here.

9. the “somehow even worse” one

Look, if I had to compile all his outfits, I had to include this one. But there’s nothing to say about it except just looking at him wearing it makes me sad.

10. the “you didn’t see that coming, did you?” one

This one here is a trick, ok? At this point of the story we have no idea of what’s going on and if this misterious person is important or not; all we know is that he is quite fond of patterns and dark clothing. And that he has some money.

But damn, once we find out who this is, it instantly becomes something else entirely. 

It’s so fucking DARK!! It’s Wei Wuxian’s kind of dark, it’s crazy to think our boy Huaisang, who’s been wearing light grays, white and cream all his life would come up with something like that. It doesn’t even look Nie, and that’s probably what he was going for, y’know, so no one could recognize him and all of that.

But jesus, this look is just wow.  It’s perfect for a scheming mastermind, even though we don’t really know about it yet. The scales pattern is really nice and I love when he wears this sort of robe, with the fitted sleeves and the extra fabric at the shoulders. The flame (I think) pattern is nice too, though it’s a bit too much here, just a bit. But he seems to like this pattern a lot, so let him have it

And the craziest part is: we know these robes. And i’ve seen a couple of posts about them, it’s the same inner robe he wore at the Phoenix Mountain night hunt competition, almost 16 years ago. 

Like what are these robes made of??

11. the “sneaky, sneaky” one

The famous Nie pattern, am I right?

I love all theories about this one and as I took the screenshots, I noticed how his inner robe is the same as robe number 8. Huaisang says no to excessive buying, please reuse your clothes!

I’m particularly fond of the theory that Nie Mingjue comissioned robes for both his didi and his boyfriend Xichen, but I can accept that Huaisang just inherited his brother’s robes, though the flame pattern (once again proving we won’t guess Huaisang is behind everything not even after seeing him wearing the same patterns as in episode one twice) at the bottom is definetly a Huaisang thing.

I really like how heavy it looks, and the black thin stripe.We know it’s the same pattern as Xichen’s robe but seeing it combined with the back and light gray of the Nies really gives it a distinct identity.

12. the “and the oscar goes to...” one

Look at him, all innocent-looking placing all the chess pieces on their right places. Gotta love director Nie.  And it makes so much sense that he would wear something as light as this robes for this moment. He wore light colors for most of his youth, when he was carefree and naive and harmless; he cultivated a reputation of being dependent, fearful and stupid even. In this moment, more than ever, he needs people to believe this is exactly who he is, and what’s the best way of doing it?

Yes, reminding them of your old self. All he does is pretend and lie while he cries and faints.  A director and an actor too!

Throw yourself at your brother’s sworn brothers trying to look harmless while annoying the hell out of them? check.

Faint conveniently as your brother’s murderer lies at your face about killing said brother because even you have limits and you can’t watch that fuckery and not want to murder him right there? check.

Pretend to be stupid while conducting the protagonist and pretty much everybody else to ask the right questions and therefore unmask the terrible things your nemesis did?  also check.

And the robes are really pretty, look at the texture at the bottom right!! Silver and white go really well together. Wide, wide sleeves and this heavy-looking fabric. Superb, really, one of my favorites again.

And look at him carrying his saber (which he  probably left at Pier Lotus later)!

13. the “...and cut!” one

Look at these robes and tell me they don’t absolutely look like something Nie Mingjue would wear. You know he would. 

And it’s such a contrast to his previous robes. The white and silver one for looking innocent and lost and funny; the dark gray to look like a serious sect leader who will endorse the accusations against his enemy (Ok, he did act confused and lost and innocent in these robes, but he also showed real shock and grief and sadness, he did show his true feelings too)

He’s honoring his brother here, he did it, he brought justice to him, he defeated his brother’s murderer.  He spent years wanting and waiting for this moment, it’s only fair he would do so while looking so much like his beloved older brother.

I love everything about this look. The color palette is almost the same as the one robe his brother wore to the post-Sunshot campaign banquet. The dark,shining gray, the black, the thin bronze\golden stripe at the collar. Even that extra overlaid fabric at the bottom front of his robes is the same as Mingjue used to wear. Beautiful, really.

He would be really proud of you, I hope you know that, Huaisang.

14. the “I may or may not steal your chief cultivator status, watch out Wangji” one

I know he would never steal Wangji’s post, cql!NHS doesn’t even want it; but like, we deserved Chief cultivator!Huaisang, right? So it was worth the joke, I think.

The inner light gray robe yet AGAIN, I suspect this is his favorite inner robe.

We have some bold patterns here, so elegant. I really like when he wears this kind of outer robe, accentuating his shoulders, suits him really well, And this is such a Nie color palette, just like the previous one. In fact, Huaisang wears way more dark colors than we give him credit for. Especially after becoming sect leader. 

Sleeve game on point too, really long. And it matches his fan as well.

Lovely look, I wish we could have seen more.

In conclusion: 

King of versatility, resusing 16 year-old robes AND looking damn good while doing it! He looks good scheming, he looks good lying, he looks good fainting, he even looks good tricking people into stabbing other people!

 Name a more iconic king, I’ll wait.