#anyways memorializing my thoughts here and hoping i still have the inspo in a few days

[mirananananan]

love when fic ideas are finally coming to me when i am trying to sleep! and i have approximately 0 time in the next 4 days to do anything about them!

[eclipseberrycake]

Poly! MoonBerryCake x Reader Pt. 2

Y'all came outta NOWHERE- Hi <3

I love these guys sm so when people started asking for more I was like "...Twist my arm okay-". Like I did not need to be convinced don't y'all worry.

Anyway, here are my tags plus shoutout to that anon who sent me the request! I sure do do requests especially ones like that <3

OG Inspo: @huneybeen

Divider Credit: @sister-lucifer

And @unaecsmr .

And that one anon too!

I hope this lives up to expectations <3

Content Warning: Slight descriptions of violence. Puns.

☁ Happy holiday update guys <3 The first run I played all I talked about was how Twisted! Rudie's run looks like he's hitting the griddy.

☁ Anyway, what better way to celebrate than more MoonBerryCake?

☁ Now, you all don't really define you're relationship per say, after the ending of part one, which you can find -> Here!

☁ You all sort of fall into some sort of rhythm after the fact though.

☁ I didn't spend a lot of time on Sprout because I wasn't feeling well, so I feel like I owe it to him!

☁ Sprout can especially recognize the dynamics at play. As much as he loathes admitting it, being with you three losers (Affectionately) makes him happiest. He can't possibly pick one.

☁ So while you and Astro and Cosmo all stay up at night, worrying about budding feelings and crushing the hearts of the others and feeling your own eyes well up at the thought of gaining one, but losing the others, Sprout is SOUND asleep. He is drooling on his pillow. He is snoring loud enough Pebble hid under coal for protection (Across the complex).

☁ Because he knows one thing for certain. He's got two hands, one chest and a dream. He knows what he wants from life now. And he's going to get it, mark his words.

☁ He knows he's over and done with it, devoting himself to the three of you completely after that reunion from that failed run.

☁ You had been downed long enough you had finally argued your bed-ban be lifted while he himself had threatened a solo-style jail break into the elevators if they tried keeping him chained once more.

☁ He had to admit, the two of you made an incredibly stubborn team and if he had any interest in debate, he'd probably use you. As it stands, he decides to keep you around anyway because someone's gotta tell Brightney he's not healing her and it ain't gonna be him.

☁ The retrieval run was one he knew you had been dreading for awhile, all three of you actually, as this was by far one of the more dangerous Twisteds. That being said, stepping into the elevator made his entire being just shiver at the atmosphere surrounding them.

☁ He didn't like it. He needed to fix it. Especially his trio. Yeah, his. Fight him for it. He's already called dibs. You can't.

☁ Astro's eyes are locked onto your form as you stretch your legs, holding your ankle to your butt for a few seconds before switching. You're mindlessly listening to Goob. Sprout knows Goob rambles when he's nervous and he's rambling faster than Sprout can keep up. Cosmo himself is burrowed into Astro's shoulder, hiding his face in the fur neckline as if refusing to see what'll come of the run.

☁ Sprout doesn't blame him. His memories from being a twisted are blurry at best, but even he can remember Pebble's twisted form. The snarls that rang out as he achieved top speed. He was fast. Impossibly so. Faster than any one of them.

☁ But you were bound and determined to get them all back. Every. Single. One of them.

☁ The thought makes him bite at his lip as he huffs. He had chosen Teagan's trinket for the sole reason of having that heal ready to go no matter what. The one relief he had was that Cosmo wouldn't be so alone in this anymore. He knew Cosmo had a habit of spreading himself too thin, especially when it came to healing you or Astro, and the thought made his chest bristle.

☁ No more. He'd be there for the worst case scenarios. While he wasn't the fastest toon out there he still was fast. He was fast and could run. He had stamina. He'd be assed before extracting anything worth a damn, but he knew damn well how to distract well enough to buy you or Goob a few minutes.

☁ Nodding to himself, he placed a hand on your shoulder as the elevator stilled, ending the time they all had to prepare. "You got this, bud. We'll be cheering you on the entire way."

☁ You snorted at the nickname, taking a deep breath. "Bud? Like a flower bud I'm guessing? Where did that come from?"

☁ He smirked at the question, watching the large gears begin to slowly turn as the door slowly opened. "Well, when a mommy strawberry and a daddy strawberry love each other berry much-"

☁ He nearly cackled at Cosmo's affronted shout of his name while Astro boo'ed the pun. You gave a soft chuckle before shaking your head, shooting him a look. "Unbe-leaf-able." You scoffed good naturedly before taking off with Goob by your side.

☁ This time Sprout joined Astro's boos. It was only fun when he did it. Ask Fin.

☁ Don't ask him.

☁ Running off, it feels almost familiar the way he and Cosmo stick together, Astro splitting off to use Vee's trinket quickly to ease the pressure on you and Goob. He watched Cosmo's back and by the time that machine was finished, the other's were as well. Astro met back up with them halfway back to elevator, giving both him and Cosmo a once over before nodding them inside and waiting for you.

☁ And Goob, I guess.

☁ It's almost prideful, the way Sprout watches Astro's power light up the ground below him, fluttering around yours and Goob's feet as the three of you quickly make your way into the elevator with it slamming shut behind you.

☁ The thick tension is back and heavier than a bad pun can fix. So Sprout does what he does best really. He waits for his trio to be done browsing the shop (Like the heavens blessed the run, Dandy was there with the serum on a pillow and both a bandage and box of chocolates). Cosmo is just short of tapes needed for a band, only to light up as you pass him some you swiped while distracting.

☁ He's quick to wrap his arms around you, pressing a sweet kiss to your cheek with a quick nuzzle, leaving you just dazed enough you're staggering as he swipes the heal. Astro is behind you with a small chuckle, ensuring you don't fall before handing over his own stack of tapes and taking the box of chocolates as Goob pays for the serum.

☁ Sprout has no idea where all these tapes are coming from and is almost a little pissed. If it was anyone else, he would've been. Except Goob. Though, Goob paid for the one thing everyone agreed upon buying so even then he's hard pressed to stay mad. Still. Everyone's heals are on thin ice until further notice.

☁ Except his three of course.

☁ By the time the three of you are done and Dandy is preparing to disappear, he's already rounding you into a group, checking every single one of you for so much as a scratch.

☁ When nothing comes back, he turns to rubbing at your already dirt stained cheek with his glove, clicking his tongue before licking the pad of it only to return it to scrub at the patch of dirt, despite your protests. Glisten's laughing in the back, along with Cosmo and Goob. Even Astro has a humored grin on his face, but oh-ho. Sprout isn't done.

☁ No, once he's satisfied, he reaches and grabs Cosmo before the swiss roll can run and repeats the process.

☁ Astro's only saving grace is the ding of the elevator. But Sprout vows vengeance. Oh, vow it he does.

☁ The next few floors flow smoothly, even if the tense atmosphere remains an ever present reminder of the responsibility on your and Goob's shoulders. You carry it with every move you make, especially cautious of the Twisteds you lead to ensure you're in top condition for the big dog.

☁ I didnt think I had this many puns in me omg

☁ By the time footsteps are echoing outside the door, Cosmo and Sprout both have enough med kits and bands to choke a horse, with everyone standing at full health. Astro himself had a bottle of pop for emergencies and a handful of smoke bombs so he could get in and out after giving you and Goob a boost and minimizing the risk. You and Goob both have quite a few things of chocolate and bottles of pop, speed candy in your palms as you both down it with more waiting.

☁ When the elevator opens, you gave them all a sad wave before taking off much faster than you normally do, quickly finding and distracting Pebble as Goob takes the other three in the opposite direction. Everyone knows the plan. They had gone over it several times in preparation for this moment.

☁ You were to be left alone to focus on distracting. Absolutely no exceptions save for the healers or Astro when the time arose. They would get in, get out and between you and Goob, one of you would pull Pebble's attention away long enough one of you could stick him.

☁ Sprout didn't like it personally, grabbing Astro and pulling him into his chest as he hid behind a box while you and Pebble passed, a rotten, no good feeling settling into the pit of his stomach.

☁ He waited until he couldn't hear either of you anymore before letting go of Astro, who gave him a thankful nod. Sprout returned it, giving a soft smile before both were looking over at the sound of a gasp.

☁ Cosmo was knelt on the ground, fingers stained black. Immediately assuming the worst, Sprout nearly screeched as he grabbed for the med-kit as Astro was grabbing Cosmo, searching for the source of the injury.

☁ "No, no, it's not me!" Cosmo shook his head, pushing away both Astro and the med-kit. "They've been hit." He continued, looking down the way you came from.

☁ Sprout and Astro's eyes followed the same direction, the former swallowing tightly. Nodding, Sprout took a step in that direction, fingers already heating up as his own power sang in his veins, only for the lights to flicker red as the last machine finished.

☁ "Get them at elevator." Astro's voice cut through, grabbing him through his blanket and tugging him in the needed direction. "We'll be there if something goes wrong."

☁ Looking back, that should've been a warning.

☁ The last few seconds of panic were always hectic. He knew this. But on a retrieval run? It was so much worse.

☁ They had all mad it back to the elevator, save for you and Goob. Goob was right on schedule, loosing the other twisteds somewhere they wouldn't bother you or anyone near elevator and skid to stop right beside where Astro and the healers were waiting, looking at the doorway they instructed you to come through. It came a clear shot for all of them to hit you should the need be, either by a heal or a shot of adrenaline.

☁ The feeling in Sprout's gut jumped and he understood why. As you appeared a feeling of uniform dread and panic split over the group. You're side was oozing ichor as you hit the doorway, absolute terror written across your features as you ducked a set of jaws that just barely missed you, sinking into the wood and crunching.

☁ That could've been you. The thought made Sprout shout as you took off towards them. You reached for your hip, tearing off the serum and throwing it at Goob, who caught it. You were out of pops and out of chocolate and the realization hit them within seconds.

☁ Goob's arms shot out just as Pebble lunged. None of them could've moved fast enough. They could only watch as Pebble's jaws bit into you side, making you scream out in both alarm and pain as tears sprung to your eyes. A chorus of shots came in a cacophony of noise.

☁ Sprout shot forward just as Pebble let out an ear piercing howl. His own arms scooped you against him as you sobbed, ichor staining his chest and scarf as he ran back to where Cosmo and Astro were waiting, equally as panicked as he felt.

☁ Goob grabbed Pebble, turning tail and just making it into the frantic elevator as it slammed shut.

☁ It was a blur from there. Cosmo's hands rushed for the med kits as Astro pumped your body with enough adrenaline and stamina to keep going. Sprout's own hands were a flurry as he used the mass of tapes he hoarded to trade their worth for life force. While normally he just infused it into the treats he kept on hand, this time he threaded it directly into the wound, even as you grew impressively colder.

☁ They needed to get back to med-bay and fast.

☁ Glisten got you all back, shouting for the others to clear the way as both you and Pebble were rushed into med-bay. It was a long night from there, all three watching and waiting for you to give some indication of being okay.

☁ Sprout never let the other two leave his sight for long after that and knew then and there this was it for him. He never wanted to feel this way again, but that contrasted so heavily with the simple fact that you weren't actually his. None of them were.

☁ But he wouldn't let that remain. That's right. Sprout gets you all together. Sucks to b you guys, he's never letting any of you live it down.

☁ After that night, he works damn near tirelessly to get the dense trio you all make to work with him rather than against each other.

☁ But it's hard. Uber hard. You're all just so...dumb. He says. With affection. None of you seemed to think yourselves capable of love! Like. What kind of dumbassery?

☁ Cosmo keeps thinking his advances are just friendly, Astro refuses to believe anything nice about him is true and you keep thinking it's another smart quip of his and he doesn't mean it.

☁ He'd kiss you all stupid for such thoughts but he fears that's not possible and he hasn't even gotten to kiss you yet.

☁ So, after a few weeks he does what he always does when stressed.

☁ He bakes.

☁ He just like me fr.

☁ He's angrily mixing a dough for those cookies the two of you ate some time ago, groaning all about everything that's wrong with his life currently as if the poor dough is at fault. "Hopeless in love they say. Oh, they're hopeless all right. And who paid the consequences? ME! I was making stupid puns for them. Puns. Me. OF ALL THINGS-"

☁ My brother in crust is going through it. He goes on and on about all he wants to do it cuddle and kiss and date the three of you. but do any of you make his life easy? No. Why would you. That would be too nice for dear old Sprout Seedly. Things can never just be black and white.

☁ "And another thing-" Sprout's shouting as he dumps the dough onto the floured counter, turning to the sink to drop the bowl into the waiting soapy water only for it to clatter on the ground as he's immediately clamping his jaw shut.

☁ "...You're supposed to be in bed." Is all he manages.

☁ You blink at him, all sleepy doe eyes and messy bed head before chuckling, holding a lazing Pebble in your arms. The rock had taken quite the liking to you and Sprout was man enough to admit that he was in fact jealous. "So are you."

☁ "I'm bakin'." He shoots back, turning back to the dough immediately and forgetting about the bowl as his cheeks light aflame.

☁ "At 3 AM?" You tease, stepping closer. He doesn't turn to look, but hears the sound of the bowl being dropped into the sink and Pebble being set down onto the ground. The pup whines, runs in a circle before trots away to lay in either his dog bed or burrow back into your bed. You're body presses against his back as your arms wrap around his waist, your bony chin laying on his back.

☁ "Yes at 3 AM. Someone ate all the cookies and didn't fill the jar." He spits, but there's not venom as he rolls out the dough. You're unbearably silent and he doesn't like it. How much did you hear previously? "You're supposed to beresting."

☁ You hum, but don't move. He almost asks what you're thinking if only so he doesn't have to overthink about it when you speak up again. "You sounded so...sure."

☁ Sprout furrows his brows. "Of?"

☁ "Us. The four of us." You mumble with a heavy breath. "Like-...Like that's all there is too it."

☁ "That is all there is too it. If we all wanna date each other, I don't see the problem." Sprout grunts, grabbing one of the cookie cutters he had set aside. It sinks into the dough under his weight just the way it should and he quickly picks up a rhythm.

☁ You're silent once more, but you don't move. He's done with nearly all the dough, rolling out the last bit for the final round of cookie cutting, when you finally move, lips tracing his spine. "Do you want that?"

☁ Sprout stops, blinks and looks down.

☁ "I think i wanted it since we've met and only now the rest of me finally caught up."

☁ That's where the other two find you later. You're in an apron with Sprout behind you, hands moving with yours as you ice a cookie. There are a few off to the side, obvious examples from where Sprout must've shown you how to decorate...Astro's face once more onto the cookie.

☁ Astro uses a star shard to pick one up, bringing it closer to him and Cosmo only to guffaw at the state of it. Cosmo snorts only to clap a hand over his mouth when you two look over. To their surprise, you and Sprout only grin. The icing is dropped as you run over, or as much as you can before all three are yelling at you to "Take it easy for Dandy's sake!"

☁ You grumble but do as told.

☁ "We made cookies." You explain, Sprout nodding behind you as if corroborate the story.

☁ "With my face?" Astro deadpans, making Cosmo snicker.

☁ "Some have Cosmo's." You explain, only to wince. "I did those ones though, so they aren't Sprout level."

☁ "I'm sure they're perfect." Cosmo cuts in, making you smile. It's one that says everything they need to know. They're probably awful, but that's what'll make them so good.

☁ "They're an offering." Sprout pipes in, setting an extra piping bag down. "Date us and we-...I'll bake you cookies." You nod eagerly at this proposition even if both Cosmo and Astro are wondering if they were the ones in fact mauled by Pebble and hit their heads on the way down.

☁ "...Date...us?" Astro cautions, almost too nervous to do so as he glances at the cookie the star shard is still holding.

☁ "Me and bud over there. You two and us two." Sprout nods resolutely even if nerves make him feel like he's going to vomit. "Like all four of us."

☁ There's silence before Cosmo is snorting into his hand. Then he's laughing. Then he's cackling. He had moved just a bit, holding one of the cookies you decorated. It's a mess of smudged icing, piled on high enough it'll overpower any taste the cookie has. It makes him laugh so hard he crouches over, even if your affronted complaints die into your own giggles.

☁ By the time Cosmo can breath again, he wipes an eye with his hand. "Everyone's so creative." He sighs, turning to look at you with a grin. "I would love to. Even if you're cookie decorating needs some work."

☁ Before he knows it, all eyes are on Astro as he blinks. A part of him is screaming all sorts of question after question ramming around his brain about schematics and the others opinions and he's gonna need a much bigger bed because he can't do cuddle shifts. If he's cuddling one of you, he's cuddling all of you.

☁ Looking at the cookie with his own face, he knows his answer before he even really has to think about it, grinning as he laughs, nodding his head.

☁ After that the rest of the cookies are decorated and stored, dishes left to dry before Cosmo and Astro are dragging both you and Sprout back to bed, practically pinning you in place as you two get the rest you missed out on earlier.

☁ For once, in a long time, no one is haunted by nightmares and the twisteds seem too far away to care at the moment.

☁ Even Pebble joins the cuddle pile with a wagging tail, pleased to see his packmates happy.

[ynscrazylife]

I was thinking maybe a oneshot where B!D gets poisoned by Cadmus?

Sisterly Instincts 

Summary: Y/N is Kryptonian who landed on Earth a few years after Kara. When CADMUS kidnaps her, they inject her with a poison made out of their version of Kryptonite, which is very harmful to her.

Authors Note: Thank you for requesting!

Request to be on a Taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)

DCEU Masterlist | Main Masterlist

PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

header c @/mundodeseriess

Image ID: Alex and Kara sitting together. Alex has her eyes closed, head on Kara’s shoulder, arm wrapped around her, and is looking upset. Kara is wearing her glasses and is looking down, crying. End ID. 

“Alex, have you heard from Y/N yet today?” Kara asked as she entered the DEO, a slight frown on her face still evident from the morning. 

Alex shook her head no. “Not since last night, why?” She asked, coming down the stairs and joining her sister in her walk. 

Kara shrugged it off. “She just didn’t send me her usual good morning text . . . She’s probably fine, right?” The blonde answered, now feeling silly as she voiced the worry that had been slowly eating at her. 

Alex’s warm chuckle calmed her almost instantly. “Yeah, it’s nothing. We’ll see her soon as she’s coming into the DEO anyway,” she reasoned, assuming their younger sister had just overslept. 

They reached the main room where J’onn and the other DEO agents sat at their desks and immediately the Danvers’ sisters got to work. 

However, when it was ten minutes past the time Y/N was supposed to arrive, Alex decided to give her a call, biting her lip. She discreetly pressed her phone to her ear, turning away so she wouldn’t cause her sister unnecessary worry. 

It ringed. 

And ringed. 

And ringed. 

“Hey! You’ve reached Y/N Danvers. Sorry I couldn’t answer! Leave me a message and I’ll get back to you.” Alex cursed quietly when it rang so long it went to voicemail and huffed to clear her mind and steady herself.

“Hey, Y/N. It’s Alex. I’m sure you just overslept or are rushing to work,” she said, pausing to chuckle when the image of her younger sister running around the city popped into her mind, “Just give me a call when you get this. Love you, bye!” 

Despite the small worry entering the pit of her stomach, Alex reminded herself that Y/N being late and missing a phone wasn’t too uncommon, and she resumed her work. 

"Alex?” Kara said, and Alex looked up from her computer to see her sister gesturing at the clock with a nod. The brunette looked over, and felt that pit sink lower when she saw that 20 minutes had passed. Getting no message from Y/N, Alex and Kara shared a look, coming to a silent decision. 

“We're gonna go by Y/N’s apartment and check on her,” Alex informed J’onn as she stood up from her chair and grabbed her coat. She couldn't keep herself from remembering that Y/N should be here right now, she didn't live far away. 

Kara nodded, following her older sister, and the two women left the DEO, neither of them discussing their worries in fear of distressing the other one. Great minds do think alike, though, and that’s why they both internally came to the conclusion that if nothing was wrong and they found Y/N sleeping late, they were gonna be pissed (however they hoped that was what they found instead of the scary alternatives brewing and stirring in their minds). 

When they reached Y/N’s apartment, Kara knocked on the door. They waited almost a minute and when the door didn't open and they didn’t hear anything, Alex fished the key Y/N had given to her out of her pocket and unlocked the door. 

Stepping inside, the women were prepared to search the house like they were on a mission, when a paper on the floor, having been slipped under the door, caught their attention. Sharing a look, Kara grabbed the paper and unfolded it. It read: 

“Hello, Supergirl, 

I won’t lie. I don’t know your ‘secret identity’. However, I was able to find out Y/S/N’s, so it’s only a matter of time before I find yours, too. Come to these coordinates: [pretend there’s random coordinates] by 12:00 alone and allow us to experiment and test on you. If you fail to do that, I won’t give Y/N the cure to the Kryptonite poison that’s in her system and I’ll reveal her identity to the world. 

-- CADMUS.” 

For a couple moments, Kara and Alex stood, glued to the spot. Thoughts and emotions washed over their bodies: concern for their sister, anger at CADMUS, and an utter helplessness since they didn’t know what to do. 

It was a little past 10:00 now and when the two got back to the DEO, they made a plan with J’onn. He’d disguise himself as Kara and would do as the letter said and they’d have DEO agents - including Alex and Kara - stationed around the building with cloaking devices, which would make them invisible to CADMUS and their tech. Winn would hack into CADMUS’ tech and after Y/N was given the cure, the DEO agents would act.

At 10:30, the DEO agents were stationed around the base, invisible, and J’onn had walked into the base itself, disguised as Kara. He noticed the Kryptonite around the room, there to weaken Kara, so he put on an act: pretending that it was hurting him. He barley refrained from rushing over to Y/N when he saw the woman who was like a daughter to him siting on a chair, weak and only half-conscious, sweat shining on her face with Lillian Luthor standing beside her. 

“Good, you came,” Lillian said with a sadistic smile. 

“Yes. Now give Y/S/N the cure,” J’onn said, putting on his best Supergirl face. 

The corners of Lillian’s mouth turned into a smirk and she walked over to another chair a few feet away, which had Kryptonite restraints. “Sit,” she said calmly, although the way she stood, her hands delicately placed on the chair, brought power to the lonely word. 

J’onn complied, frowning as he walked over to the chair and sat down, letting Lillian put the restraints on his wrists and ankles that she thought would weaken him. For extra effect, J’onn sucked in a breath and faked pain. 

Lillian smugly turned around and walked back to Y/N, who didn’t seem to realize what was going on. The older woman gestured to one of her minions and they promptly injected a serum into Y/N’s neck, making the youngest Danvers’ gasp just the slightest before her eyes fluttered close. 

“The antidote is taking its affect in her system,” Lillian informed J’onn before turning back to her minion. “Take the girl outside. She can find her way back.” 

The man nodded and picked Y/N up, slinging her over his shoulder and walked out. The second J’onn heard a smash and knew that his team had acted, he gave Lillian no time to be on alert before he ripped off the restraints and knocked all of the CADMUS agents out. 

. . .  . . .  . . . 

Alex and Kara had been standing outside, listening to Lillian and J’onn’s interaction through their earpieces. The women were both racked with worry over their little sister and when they saw the man carrying her, it took everything in them both to wait until he carelessly dropped her on the floor. When he did, Kara revealed herself and knocking him unconscious into a wall. Alex then revealed herself as well, hearing J’onn fighting, and ran to Y/N while the rest of the DEO agents went inside to erase CADMUS’ memory of Y/N’s identity and to make arrests.

“Y/N, Y/N! Come on, wake up,” Alex said, slightly panicked as she gently rolled Y/N from where she was laying on her side to be on her back. Kara, after making sure the guy was unconscious, sped over. 

Kara knitted her brown together and drew her lips into a line, silently gathering her sister into her arms. Alex glanced up at her, tears in her eyes, for she knew Kara was only silent when she was very worried. 

“I’ll meet you back at the DEO,” Kara said quietly, her tone almost emotionless, before lifting off and flying into the air. Alex swallowed and took a breath, getting to her feet.

. . .  . . .  . . .

As she flew through the air, Kara battled to keep distracting thoughts about the clouds and the breeze away, as she knew she had to focus on her unconscious sister. Y/N was the priority. Once she landed at the DEO, she immediately headed to the med bay, where doctors took over and Kara informed him that Y/N had supposedly been given the antidote. 

After almost ten minutes of Kara pacing just outside the door and Winn doing his best to comfort her, the doctors informed them that the antidote was indeed in Y/N’s system and it was fighting off the poison. They didn’t know when she would wake up but when she did, she would need to rest a lot as she’d be weak. They were also unsure if CADMUS had done anything else to her, so she’d need to stay at the DEO overnight if she didn’t wake up soon. 

The doctors allowed Kara to see her so the blonde sat by her sister’s side, holding her hand until Alex burst in, looking out-of-breath. 

“How is she?” Alex asked, sitting on Y/N’s other side and taking her free hand. 

Kara told her what the doctors said and they collectively let out a breath, relieved that she was going to be alright. They stayed with Y/N for another hour, silent except for the occasional comment, when Y/N started blinking her eyes open. 

The agent and the superhero both sat up, patiently waiting for Y/N to wake up and adjust herself.

“Alex? Kara?” Y/N croaked out, looking at her sisters in a haze of confusion. 

Both women smiled and let out happy tears, helping her to sit up before wrapping their arms around her. Y/N smiled, leaning her head against Kara’s neck. 

“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” Alex whispered. 

“It’ll never happen again,” Kara promised. 

Y/N nodded. She didn’t say anything in response, finding herself too tired after the day’s events. Kara and Alex stayed until she fell asleep and then they reluctantly left her under the watchful eye of Winn, since they needed to debrief with J’onn and prepare for when Y/N would come home. 

Permanent Taglist: @natasharomanoffismywife @hehehehannahthings @paulawand @blackbat2020 @sybil-moon-is-a-mess @cerberus-spectre @marrymemcgrath @celestialbarnes

DCEU Taglist: @stephanieromanoff @basiclesbianbitch @extraordinary-fangrl @hi-i-1 @mmmmokdok @harrypottercumslut

[ghostlysenses]

Angst Prompts

Im taking requests! heres a few quotes for inspo

just like that? you’re giving up?!

im the bad guy! i dont save the day

sorry that im such a disappointment

you cant be back?! WHY ARE YOU BACK?!

You never cared.. did you?

Go! and never come back

you were an investment

How dare you come back into my life after leaving me!

you weren’t there for me, so its my turn to no be there for you

Id take back our relationship in a heartbeat!

you win..

can’t you listen for one second

pick a god and pray to it

kill me and live with the memory, then tell the stars you won

its better this way

it was bound to end either way

its not a breakup, just a break

I dont want to die, not like this

you’re trembling...

this is all your fault!

you meant nothing to me

maybe you should stop trying to socialize everyone hate you anyways

I cant trust you anymore

I cant live like this anymore!

I dont know what to do

its all to much

My anxiety keeps me silent when i try to speak

I wish i was floating

waking up to an empty bed is hard sometimes

who do you think you are?!

look at what you caused!

do you care?! why dont you care?

I gave you all me!

i was there when they werent yet you still chose them over me?!

you have some nerve trying to tear me down

why would you try and play me for a fool?

why werent you who you swore that you would be

i shouldve never trusted you

I dont know why i love you!

you broke me...

you hit me...you hit me!

you changed, and its not for the better

Not like you ever tried to stay!

i tried, i failed, i tried again, i failed again. it keeps repeating and im tired of it!

im tired! im tired of all of it

how? how are you so good at pretending to be okay

I wish I never met you!

Go ahead! leave me!

your just like the rest of them

what is it about them?

why do you love them so much?!

you’ll never be like them

your image is more important than us?

your right it wasnt your fault but mine

was it fun? using me?

YOU HAVE NO POWER OVER ME!

YOU HAVE NO AUTHORITY OVE ME!

you only want power

they..they dont/doesnt love me anymore..

I dont love them anymore

I had a nightmare...i killed you...

i thought we were friends!

when? when did you stop loving me?

i hope your satisfied with yourself

why are you pushing people away?

your using me....your using me

so you didnt really love me?

was there something i couldve done or said to make you love me more?

Im so numb now..

I dont want to die!

fuck you! and fuck everything!

there is no us! there never was!

you thought this was real?!

do you love them?

do they make you happier than when you were with me?

are you ashamed of me?

if you cant live without me then die

why didnt you fight for us?

i said id die for you, i didnt mean it literally

who could ever love you?

is this a game to you?

Im not a toy you can play with!

why should I leave? you’re the one who ended the conversation/fight

I thought you were different

you got in my way

if you walk out of that door we are through

they left... and never came back

LOOK AT ME!

Am i not good enough for you?

i didnt realize i was such an inconvenience

Your my (daughter, child, son) no matter how big you grow youll always be my (duaghter, child,son)

i hope you’re happy now

i hope im not put in the same part of hell as you

its okay! im here!

you act like a child!

i cant love you.

i dont care

there more people in the world than just you!

i cried out for you and you didnt even come to save me

I heard you, i just didnt care.

We’re kids! we should be living our lives instead of trying to cheat death!

everyone leaves

do you wish that you never met me?

I wish you would understand

Could you please be there for me?

You can’t keep ignoring me

We used to be friends! what happened?

this will be the last time you lie to me

I hope you’re happy

I dont like you! nobody here does!

every time something goes well I momentarily forget how much I despise you

Did anyone ever tell you how pathetic you are? It’s incredible how low my standards are for you

Hand me the gun and I’ll kill ___ myself

We should probably stop talking forever

You broke her heart and came back for more, you bastard

I’m not coming home, don’t look for me

No one will keep your name alive. Once you’re gone, everything you once stood for disappears too

Don’t pretend you haven’t thought about your life without me

You think im an idiot, but I saw through you. You’re the idiot

What would I need you for when I have something better?

I hope you know I wouldve done ANYTHING for you

It was all i ever asked of you!

they arent my kid, theyre a failed clone (Parent hates, failed clone kid, failed clone kid was raised by them but neglected and def not loved, anything can happen, the kid can die in their arms and their last words be something angsty like “i loved you even if you didnt love me” or they get into an argument or something idk)

[satoruvt]

sink your teeth in (give me what i want)

pairing → yoon jeonghan x reader

word count → 1633

genre → like. suggestive? not fluff, not angst ↳ tags: ummmmm lol hitman au.... enemies with benefits..... i have a love/hate relationship with jeonghan and this is me projecting......

song inspo → taking off by one ok rock!!!!!!!

warnings → a few swears here and there, i mention murder but theres no detail about anything its all very vague, also suggestive!! but again vague

a/n → suddenly very aware that none of my banners are the same dimensions. upset. anyways i hate jeonghan but would do anything for him unforunately

You’ve had a problem with Yoon Jeonghan since your first day on the job.

It starts normal - your first client, your first target, fresh out of training. Your mentor gives you tips and tricks and you purposefully take an easier job, one where your client has a majority of the information you need to know. Their competitor - your target - is at a high-end hotel and will be there all night… all you have to do is find out which room.

And, well, kill them, but after the years you’ve spent training and working, you’re pretty confident.

So after some tracking you finally find out the room number your target’s staying at and gather your things - weapons, restraints, anything you could possibly need (and things you’ll eventually know to leave out) to get the job done. You plan it out as well as you can, you want no messes or trails, and when you finally get to the hotel room, ready to make a move…

Your target’s already dead. Sprawled across the floor, puddle of blood under them, gone. You drop your duffel bag in shock, barely take note of the open window, and instead focus on a little note propped up on the table by the body that has your name on it. The police are on their way, it reads when you turn it over. Don’t be here when they are.

It’s signed with multiple x’s and a name you learn to hate.

And since that job - years ago, when you were still a rookie - you and Jeonghan have always ended up on opposite sides. Sometimes you think that if fate had given the two of you a chance to work together on a job you wouldn’t hate him half as much, if at all. It’s a dangerous job, and hard - you take what you’re given, what you’re offered. Even if you were commissioned to work with Jeonghan of all people… you think maybe you wouldn’t be so offended by the simple thought of him.

That thought always leads you to think about why you hate him - you’ve met other hitmen, worked with them. Minghao was the most pleasant experience (as pleasant as it can be, killing others) and you still meet with him from time to time, get a drink or a bite to eat. And even Soonyoung, who you’ve simply talked to a few times, isn’t someone you’re at all close to hating, even when he’s a little too energetic.

You sigh, leaning back away from the telescope on your rifle. Your neck is starting to hurt from the position you’ve kept for what feels like hours, and you roll your head around in circles in hopes to ease the ache - quickly, though, you’re still waiting for your target to leave a building across the street from the empty parking garage you’ve stationed yourself at. When you look through the scope again you see the doors haven’t opened and let yourself drift in thought again: you’ve got along well with almost every other hitman you’ve come in contact with, so why -

“I was wondering where you were hiding out.”

Speak of the devil, you think dully, feeling the added ache of aggravation crawl up your spine. You don’t even spare a glance in his direction, instead trying to stop yourself from making Jeonghan your own personal target, client be damned.

“Yeah? Why is that?” you ask him, voice laced with a level of resentment even you’re not prepared for.

“Oh, to see my favorite person, of course!” Jeonghan replies, and it’s then you decide to turn and look at him. The moonlight from the other openings in the walls only illuminates the bottom half of his face, leaving his smug smirk in perfect view. He’s leaning against a pillar like he owns it. You’re extremely tempted to punch him.

“I’m trying to do my job, Jeonghan,” you settle on instead. God knows your client offered a charitable reward for your services, and you need the money. You can’t afford to risk this.

You hear the grin in his voice when he speaks. “Me too, honey.”

And you should have known, whenever he shows up he always brings some sort of fucking trouble, and you barely think when you’re standing up from your rifle and turning to fully look at him. “Who hired you?” You demand, because of course he has to do this, of course -

“You know we can’t disclose that sort of information,” Jeonghan says, voice teasing in nature but you know he’s serious. You don’t care. You stomp up to him, reach for his collar to pull him to you, chest-to-chest.

“Who the hell hired you?”

Your question doesn’t even receive an answer the second time, instead you’re only faced with a look that’s all too arrogant. You can’t help but roll your eyes, push him off of you with force until he stumbles back a few steps.

“Tell me who hired you,” you say lowly, looking him in the eye. “I’m tired of dancing around you all the time, playing these stupid games -”

“Really?” Jeonghan asks, sounding genuinely surprised. He takes a step closer to you and in a fit of pride, you stay where you are, leaving both of you dressed in low moonlight. His eyes are full of mirth, playful knowledge. “Because the last time we met, you seemed to enjoy it quite a bit.”

Memories of his skin flash in your mind like quick pictures, and you glare as hard as you possibly can at him. Your resolve has been crumbling since the first time you looked at him tonight and both of you know it and you hate it. “Leave me alone.”

“Are you sure you want that?” Jeonghan asks. You don’t answer him. You - you have a job to do, a target who is going to be walking out of the building across the street at any moment, if they haven’t already and you’ve been too preoccupied. Your client didn’t give you any date to have it done by, but this is by far the easiest time to get it done, everything lines up perfectly.

Jeonghan raises an eyebrow at you, steps another few inches forward until the tips of his shoes touch yours. His pointer finger comes under your chin and pushes it up, gentle but in control, so your eye line meets his perfectly. 

“What do you want?”

Something in you breaks (like it always does) and you throw all caution to the wind as you simultaneously push Jeonghan back against the pillar and pull him closer to you to mash your lips to him. It’s an angry kiss, seething and rough, sweetly bruising. Your hands are in his hair - longer than last time, your brain tells you without permission - and his are everywhere, all over you, any place he can reach without breaking away from you. You don’t know how long you spend letting his lips trace the shape of your own until he murmurs something along the lines of “I have a hotel room” and you’re grabbing your things in a rush and leaving with him.

It always crosses your mind at one point, when it happens, how stupid this whole thing is. The two of you doing this together, knowing you always crash and burn. It never stops you from going through with it, though. You figure if he’s taking you down, he might as well drag you all the way to hell.

You get to his hotel room (high-end, you note, which makes everything worse because you know he doesn’t even need this job anymore - not if he’s spending his reward money on things like this) and the heat kicks up again, leaves you stripping clothes and kissing skin. You think you mumble an “I hate you” against his lips at one point - for good measure - and he only grins, grins, kisses you harder to shut you up. It works.

When you finally feel each other, pressed into sheets and skin, listening to the way Jeonghan gasps again and again, you can’t help but think. You know everything you do is killing me.

The morning comes quick, makes you feel the bruises of Jeonghan’s hands more than the night before. You stretch and sigh and try to prepare yourself for an empty bed (it always is) but when you try to turn you realize an arm is still stretched across your stomach, heavy with the weight of sleep. Oh, you think first, and then, I need to leave right now.

So, slowly, you push Jeonghan’s arm off of you and then rush quietly to get dressed and gather your things. You’re sat on the edge of the bed, in the middle of tying your shoes, when he wakes up.

“Leaving already?” He asks, teasing as always. You don’t look at him.

“You’re usually the one gone by this point anyways.”

Your words contain no bite - surprisingly - only a simple observation. For some reason you think it’s worse that there’s no contempt in your tone, that you’d rather keep that up then go through… whatever this is. Neither of you speak.

When you stand up from the bed you’re forced to look at him, and there’s something in his eyes. Yearning, maybe. Longing. Your heart throbs and you pretend you don’t see it, pretend you can’t label the feeling.

You get to the door but stop, then give yourself a moment to take a breath of air in as you look back at Jeonghan. “I’m never letting this go,” you tell him, voice stern. You don’t know what you’re referencing - this grudge? Him?

Jeonghan only grins at you, knowing, and you leave the room before you can no longer stop yourself from grinning back.

[jiminiesmagicshop]

NOTICE: ONE

Warnings: whoops attempted* angst ;0 other than that, none

Song inspos: it’s ok if you forget me, Astrid S (but imagine the exact opposite of what she sings) & mess it up, Gracie Abrams :’)

Word count: 1,500+

Summary: Jimin notices way too much about you, while you don't notice nearly enough about him. He also needs to invest in some hoodies.

a/n: hi hii :) this is my first completed fic i've writen on here, or anywhere at all for that matter kaplskjjs ahh i really hope you like it. Let me know what you think, feedback is super super welcome!! there is a flashback that's written in italics, and i took ridiculously long trying to come up with a summary which i'm sTILL iffy about. i'm also new on here so let's be frens :))

______________________________________________________________

Park Jimin has never regretted something more in his life. Sure there was the time when he hadn’t listened to his mom when she told him not to climb that one tree in their backyard, which ended with him in a very itchy cast and a long scolding from his mom. Now, years later, he wished his mom had warned him before he gave you a part of him you’d never want or need; his heart.

It’s not like he didn’t know what he was getting himself into, he knew you held his heart in your small hands (even smaller than his, HA! ) and he thought he didn’t care. Oh how naive he’d been to think that.

2 months ago:

It had been exactly seven months and three days since he realized he was in love with you, his best friend of six years. You had cried in his arms over Aaron? Adam?? He couldn’t really remember who it was this time.

“Why won’t he love me?” His heart breaks as you look at him as though you really want an answer. “Why won’t any of them love me?”

His fingers twitch at your waist. He wants to scream about how much he loves you but he refrains, settling instead for a small pained smile. He doesn’t try to say anything, not trusting himself to not ask you the exact same question. Why won’t you love him? He hugs you harder into his chest as a new wave of tears rack through your body.

He was wearing the purple hoodie you’d once mentioned you loved seeing him in. It was beginning to fray on the left shoulder where you’d always lean into while you cried. Not that you’d notice anyway, but he always wore it when you called with a shaky voice and he invited you over. It felt like it was yours, same as his heart.

He didn’t know how you couldn’t see it. The way he’d drop anything and everything for you. Let you pick any version of himself, let you mould him in any way if it would get you to love him back. He’d always adored you, and somewhere along the line you’d subliminally snatched his heart.

Maybe you’d never love him the way he did you, but he had hope. His heart was big enough. No matter how long it took, how many times you unknowingly broke it, he’d always have enough left to give to you.

He watched you cry and only when you finally curled up, something between a wheeze and a snore coming from you did he speak.

“I love you, i love you forever. Promise.”

He knew you hadn’t even heard the promise he’d made to you two months ago, yet he couldn’t help but feel guilty knowing he needed to break it. His friends knew him to be very loving, very selfless, he feels selfish now. He’s leaving merely to save his own heart, breaking yours (though for a totally different reason) in the process.

He’d watched as you gave your heart to different men, never once thinking to give it to him. He was never even an option for you and that hurt. You couldn’t blame him for falling for you, not when you cared so deeply for everyone continuously giving your heart no matter how many times it broke you just gave and gave. The two of you are similar in that sense.

Loving you is painful, like he’s bursting into flames and freezing at the same time. He can’t keep this up. He doesn’t know how to act around you anymore. Hugging you was never a problem, everyone knows how touchy and affectionate he is, however every hug he’s given you in the last few months, he doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He usually wears his heart on his sleeve, now he feels he needs to constantly check himself hoping you didn’t catch him smiling dopily in your direction.

Jimin couldn’t talk to you without wondering if something he said sounded suspiciously like an ‘i love you’. He couldn’t even listen to his favourite songs anymore, they all reminded him of you, probably because you introduced him to most of them, it hurt all the same.

Had he fallen out of line when he kissed you on the cheek days ago?

He remembers thinking he was invincible when he made that promise, thinking his heart could take it. He also remembers you saying you’d never love someone as much as Andrew? What was his name damnit?

He noticed everything about you, and frankly he was tired. He needed some time to think, to rebuild his heart. To un-notice everything.

He zips up his suitcase, the moving van would be by in a bit to pick up the remaining boxes. The daisies on his windowsill that you got him for his birthday last year are drying up, he notices with a sigh. With one last glance at the room he releases his grasp on the purple hoodie and walks out the front door.

He hasn’t answered your calls all day, and he probably wouldn’t for a while... not that you know that. You think nothing of it as you drive up to his house, eyes puffy from all the crying you’ve been doing. Alex had just called asking to take a break, something about you being too intense and you couldn’t help but replay every moment in your head wondering where you went wrong. You badly needed to rant to your support system otherwise known as Jimin, craving one of his hugs.

You don’t even notice his black Porsche missing from his driveway. And you don’t think much of it when he doesn’t answer the door, simply pulling out the spare key he gave you for moments just like this.

You do, however, notice the emptiness of his house. Where in the heck did his couch go? And why is his house so cold? Where are all the pictures of the two of you and his family that decorated his walls. You’re beginning to get frantic as you search through room after room for something, anything to make this less real. To show you he’ll be back shortly. That he didn’t just up and leave.

Whatever the reason, you’re sure you can get him to come back, or at least talk to you. “Chim?” Your voice echoes through his hallway. Your converse screech on the bare floor and you’re running down the hall to his bedroom. You’re stumbling now, eyes blurry with tears and you call out again “Jimin?” He was really gone.

You only just catch yourself before you hit the ground. You stare at the purple material that had snagged your foot. A purple hoodie lies by you on the floor. You’re sobbing.

Jimin swears the distance between his house and where he’d parked his car a block away wasn’t this long. He’s panting as he grips the door handle, stumbling inside with sweat making his recently dyed-pink hair stick to his forehead.

It was definitely rash of him to just leave the hoodie behind. It was too sentimental to just leave here to collect dust until the landlord discovered it. He missed it already. It smelt partially of you after all your cuddling sessions, and as embarrassing as it might sound, he needed it.

He jogs down the hallway, all the memories the two of you had here send a pang straight to his chest that has him tripping over his feet. That’s when he hears it. Sniffling. Someone was sniffling in his house. More curious than scared, the boy takes cautious steps past the bathroom and towards his bedroom.

His hand comes to rest over his heart, when he sees a head of long pink hair, shade identical to his save for the few bleached streaks he’d missed when the two of you had dyed each other’s hair. His fingers itch to bring you to his chest. You were crying. Because of him.

He reaches out to touch you, his first instinct being to pull you into him, but he stops in his spot when the floorboards beneath him creak. He waits for you to whip around and hug him, maybe scream at him for scaring you with his absence like that. His face scrunches up at your words.

“I can’t do this without you, why would you just leave?”

Jimin has to press a hand into his mouth to keep the sob threatening to expose him silent. Why was he not surprised. Of course you hadn’t noticed how much he’d been struggling the past few months. How his love for you far surpassed that of a best friend. He doesn’t know why he thought you might have noticed. In fact, when was the last time he’d talked to you about his problems?

Whatever fragments there are left of his heart ache. He suddenly misses his mom. Misses her scolding more than anything else, that would hurt much less than this does.

Jimin does what he knows he must.

Like most Jimin related things, you don’t notice what hoodie it is, don’t notice the frayed shoulder, and you most certainly don’t notice the boy who had come back for the hoodie backing away, quiet tears running down his face.

[ilikemesometaetaes]

Don’t Hold Your Breath ~ jjk

Prologue

•••> Author: @ilikemesometaetaes​

•••> Summary: As the CEO of an international government security company, you have the world at your fingertips. Living life lavishly and extravagantly has become the norm. Behind closed doors, however, you host a past that renders you lonely and, quite frankly, miserable. It’s only a matter of time before your past comes back to bite you right in the ass.

•••> Pairing(s): Jungkook/Reader

•••> Inspo: This fic is inspired by the song “SAVAGE ANTHEM” by PARTYNEXTDOOR. Thank you to @btssmutgalore​ for everything you’ve done to help me! You’re amazing!

•••> Word Count: 2.3k

•••> Rating: 18+ • Please do not read if you are below the age of 18. I do not condone minors reading my work. Of course, I cannot stop you.

•••> Tags: angst | ceo!au | rockstar!au | CEO!Reader | Rockstar!Jungkook | AU!BTS | Exes to Lovers

•••> Warnings: a boatload of angst, heartbreak, cursing, pining, kissing, depression. Warnings are written specifically to chapter. Refer to the DHYB Main Page for the full rundown.

Note: I don’t have a beta reader so please forgive any mistakes I may have missed. Also, if you are confused by the italics, refer to the DHYB Main Page for info on that.

Copyright © 2020 ilikemesometaetaes. All Rights Reserved.

Taglist: @apurpledheart​

If you’d like to be added to the taglist, add a comment to this chapter or the DHYB Main Page!

NAVIGATION: | > Chapter One (M) –> Mini-Masterlist -> Series Masterlist

~#~

NOW.

The bed was cold around you.

You felt yourself breathe. You felt your heart beating in your chest. You felt the evidence of physical life within your body.

But you couldn’t help the withdrawn and frigid feeling of death laced into your mind.

You felt alone. You felt longing. You felt numb yet riddled with too many emotions to comprehend all at once.

Overwhelmed with confusion, you went to the moment that brought you calm. It brought you peace and happiness despite the things lost.

The beautiful dream-like vision of butterflies and a certain meadow filled your memory as you laid in the darkness. Sighing with content, you let yourself remember.

“Fuck Jimin and his girlfriend. We can have all the fun on our own.” He sneered in his Satoori accent. After years of knowing you, Jungkook slipped from his proper accent whenever the two of you were alone. All you could do was chuckle at his harsh words.

The blanket laid out before you was a pristine sky blue. Jungkook had gathered small stones to hold it down at the corners.

“What have you been up to today?” You asked with a hint of breathlessness due to the trek the two of you had made to get to the peak of the large hill. Turning your head to look at him while you spoke, you noticed that his head was craned upwards, gaze locked on the sky.

In response to your query, he collapsed back onto the blanket, allowing his white t-shirt to slightly ride up, revealing a small sliver of the skin on his stomach in the process. The white reflected the sun in your eyes almost painfully, but not enough to take away from the angel-like glow that it gave him.

“Nothing much. Played video games for an hour or so. Cooked and made breakfast.” He angled his head slightly to look at you. "Finished up my essay for my philosophy class. You?”

“Oh, just the usual. Didn’t finish my calc assignment by noon so I’m only going to get partial credit for that.”

Your reply reminded you of how different the two of you were when it came to school. His alone time spent in his dorms went one of two ways; he either played video games with Taehyung or studied- there was no other. His scoff broke you out of your brief thoughts.

“You know, you’re going to end up falling behind this semester, and then we won’t have the same class for our last semester as college students.” His pout that accompanied his statement had your eyes flicking to his bottom lip which shined with a slight sheen of saliva, accentuating the plumpness of it.

It was no secret that you found Jungkook attractive. Hell, even Yoongi found him attractive and Yoongi was quite impassive. Even now, with his eyes squinting under the light of the sun, his hair messy, and a thin layer of sweat covering his skin, you found him absolutely breathtaking.

You remembered how the two of you met.

Shared classes brought you closer together. Ever since you had first met him during your sophomore year when you became part of a foreign exchange program in South Korea, the two of you clicked. Realizing that he spoke English- rough English- had you giddy and eager to teach him to perfect his language skills in return for helping you with your Korean. Needless to say, you learned Korean a bit quicker than he learned English seeing as one of your majors was dedicated to the language learning.

After you decided to stay in Korea and finish the requirements for one of your degrees at your other university online, the two of you grew close in the process of mutual education. When you decided to stay was when you actually got to know him.

He was pursuing a degree in music, specializing in vocal performance, while you were working towards a double major in political science and language studies with a minor in business. Although you were packed full of classes, your work ethic was definitely capable of improvement despite having helped you survive to senior year.

“I know, Kook, but I honestly don’t know why math is required for my major anyway. I just want to be done with it.” You grumbled and adjusted your clothes before laying beside him.

He sighed wistfully, signifying his state of relaxation and calm, which you found yourself fighting a smile for. Of all of the time you had been around Jungkook, he was always emotionally charged or stressed. There was never a time you knew him to be absolutely at peace or silent in the way he acted. To hear him decompress was still a relatively new concept to you and had you giddy to relax with him in hopes that he would open up to you.

A few moments of silence rested between you both, effectively ending the previous conversation.

“Do you think about him anymore?” He voiced, distracting you from eyeing a cloud as it covered the sun. The break from sunlight was welcome on your straining brows.

It took you a moment to respond, caught off guard by the loaded question. He knew of your situation because you were open with him. But why did he care? “Sometimes. I know that he wasn’t good for me. I know that I gave him too much slack and that’s why he lied to me.” You sighed.

“Yeah,” He chuckled dryly. “That dude was an asshole.”

“I still don’t get it. I told him that everything he did was okay. I told him all he had to be was honest and that I wouldn’t be mad at him.” The frustration of your breakup with your ex-boyfriend was nowhere close to being gone. Eleven months of lies and deceit despite the good memories was difficult to remove from your conscience.

He had used drugs, something you weren’t a fan of. Despite this, on top of the fact that it was illegal, you knew that it helped his depression and you loved him throughout his questionable choices on how to treat himself. All you had asked for was his honesty; all you wanted was for him to tell you when he used.

Jungkook sat up to look at you. He frowned and then reached towards you to brush away some of the hair that fell over your forehead.

“I get that he did you wrong. Believe me. I get it. But the fact that you still think about it is irritating. It’s been a year, right?” His scowl made him look adorable.

“Something like that.” You sighed.

“And you haven’t moved on?” He asked, concerned. You were about to reply in defense before he cut in again. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I know you don’t have those types of feelings for him anymore, but you haven’t moved on from the situation?”

Your reply was curt. “I’ve moved on. I’m just annoyed.”

He sighed and looked down at his hand that he wasn’t leaning on, toying with the fabric of the blanket, before laying back down with an elongated exhale. He knew this conversation was over.

After a while of laying down in the sun in comfortable silence, you noticed that the clouds were starting to roll in more frequently, accompanied by a cooler breeze. When you craned your head back to look upwind, you saw the darkness of a storm system crawling across the sky.

“Hey Jungkook. I think we-“ Snore.

You cut yourself off at the sound, quickly snapping your head to survey the sleeping boy beside you. Eyebrows completely relaxed and lips slightly parted, he was a sight to behold. His hair had fallen over his eyes slightly, urging you to return the favor in brushing it out of the way. He stirred slightly before settling back down and sighing. What a sight to behold indeed.

The deep rumbling of thunder is what caused you both to jump and look at the sky. “Jesus.” He croaked while abruptly sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. “How long was I out?”

“I’m not sure. I only realized you were sleeping a few seconds ago.” You began picking up your things whilst he picked up the blanket, draping it over his arm.

The first few raindrops of the storm had only just begun; a light pitter-patter at random places in the grass began slowly at first, gradually picking up pace as you and Jungkook were packing up the last of your things.

You giggled as the rain started hitting your face. It reminded you of tiny, cold kisses. Jungkook, on the other hand, used the blanket to shield his head after slinging his backpack onto one shoulder. His face was scrunched up in an unconscious attempt to keep the rain out of his eyes.

“Let’s get out of here.” He huffed tiredly.

“Good idea.” You laughed.

The trek down the hill and back to Jungkook’s old truck accelerated to a jog following the increased pattern of raindrops hitting the ground. Before long, even you were seeking shelter under the blanket he was holding over his head. After a few minutes of laughing breathlessly and bumping into each other on the path back to the truck, you had decided to hold the other end of the blanket since he wasn’t really holding it over your head effectively. His free arm consequently ended up slung over your shoulders while your free arm draped over his.

The tan truck came into view after your twenty-minute journey back. By this point, the blanket had soaked through and both of you were drenched. Making quick work of the passenger side door, he slid in first to cross the seat while you followed suit with a huff.

“Well…” Jungkook trailed off, placing his bag and the wet blanket between you before running his fingers through his long and very wet hair in order to push it away from his eyes. “Shit.” He looked at you with finality and a small grin gracing his face.

You gazed at his beauty, glancing at his lips as he spoke, before meeting his chocolate brown gaze. Want filled your body as the adrenaline from the past few minutes surged through your veins, rendering you mute. Heartbeat running absolutely erratic and breath suddenly short, you became acutely aware of how tight of a space the two of you were in and how quiet the cabin of the truck became.

Oh, how you wanted to kiss him.

The seconds seemed to pass like hours. The mood in the truck morphed from playful and light to something else. Something thicker. Headier. Heavier.

The pressure of the moments passing by bristled you with tremors as your previous levels of adrenaline spiked almost uncontrollably. You didn’t miss the way his bottom lip twitched in the slightest of movement.

His eyes glanced at your lips for a split second, giving you no time to adjust to the quick movement, before his hand was on the back of your neck to usher you to him in a messy kiss. Heat flooded your body as the taste of his breath caressed your tongue.

“Y/N.” He breathed after momentarily pulling away. His dark eyes were filled with passionate fire, pupils dilated almost scarily. “You-” His lips reattached to yours before he could finish speaking, illuminating just how shocked and pleased he was with your kiss.

His lips were as soft as silk as they glid against your own, slotting perfectly in shape. His warm breath tasted mildly of morning breath- not that you minded- but mostly blueberry as you came to discover that he had slipped a jolly rancher into his mouth sometime during your journey back to the truck. You giggled at the thought of how much he loved candy, earning a smile from him as he continued to press his lips to your own.

There was no way you’d be able to pull away just to speak. Speaking was so unnecessary. Words were irrelevant in that moment. 

Why speak when you could kiss him? When you could feel the way his lips moved against yours in ways they could never move when speaking? When they conveyed more emotions than any word could ever express? Why would you even bother ever speaking anymore when you could spend the rest of your life kissing Jeon Jungkook?

You answered your own questions as his arm lopped around your waist to pull your body closer to his: you wouldn’t.

Of course, those were thoughts in the heat of the moment. Simpler times called for simpler feelings. The pure and innocent ardor of love and adoration paired with the excitement of new attraction was a welcome sensation in contrast to the empty and cold feeling of your everyday life. You were sick of feeling numb.

Too many years were spent in emotional solitary confinement. Keeping your emotions at bay began affecting your health, causing your hair to thin and your skin to wither like paper. It took looking at yourself in the mirror after mulling over a photo of you and Jungkook before you noticed the difference. You hadn’t even noticed that you lost a considerable amount of weight.

Therapy had helped for a little while, but it didn’t assist you when you began seeing his face on news articles and TV once your sessions ended.

Even after the things that he had done, you were no stranger to the feeling of longing that you had for him- for the echoes of what used to be.

In your cold, companionless room, tears ran down your cheeks in mourning.

Of course, it was too good to last.

[kelberytwt]

Oooo look at this I'm getting into idv again 😕 I'm only here for edluca and other cool ships as well as the lore so screw you netease!!!!! you aren't getting my money today!!!! anyways take this little oneshot I wrote :] I'm tempted to turn it into a fanfic but idk!!! maybe on AO3.

word count : 1,046

------------------------------------------------------------------

Raining hitting the dirt covered windows, he stood sobbing over the brunette in front of him, tears falling down his face viciously as he held his lovers face in his pale and plaster cover hands. With each sob, Valden's whole body shook as Luca simply sat there on the Manor couch with a puzzled expression. 

" Luca please- Please you must remember, it's me love, it's Edgar- "

He hiccuped and tried to catch his breath but to no avail since he was more focused on the man in front of him. The Manor seemed quiet that day but maybe everyone was just trying to leave The Painter alone after the accident which happened a few hours prior to the moment they were currently in. 

The 'Prisoner' managed to get himself in a pretty serious accident while running away the hunter which wasn't uncommon of him so he was taken straight to bed by Miss Emily Dyer, The Doctor, to try and rest up but he had come stumbling to the room, which they were in now, where Edgar sat and whilst engulfing his boyfriend in an embrace, Luca stated that ' he didn't know why Edgar was so excited since he couldn't remember him '. From that moment, Edgar tried to make him remember, like every other time this happened. He tried and tried but he simply couldn't. Nothing worked. And for all he knew, the Luca Balsa he met and had fallen madly in love with was gone and he didn't know how to get him help, it wasn't like anyone else would help either. They were too focused on surviving this shithole to focus on anyone else, and it's not like anyone was buddy buddy with Luca either.

The 'Prisoner' gave an awkward chuckle, placing his hands over Edgar's as he tried to pull them away but the shorter kept his ground and kept his hands on the others tanned skin, rubbing his thumbs and feeling small scars and imperfections in his Luca's skin. It was beautiful, all of him was to Edgar. From his messed and self cut hair, which was clearly self cut because I wasn't good and you could see stray hairs poking out, all the way down to the smallest things in him, such as the way he walked and talked, the way he stood when they had to wait, his hands in his pocket and the top part of his back leaning back making his posture messes up and Edgar tried to sort it out but it was always for nothing since Luca would go back to standing in that same way but Edgar loved it, he loved him so bad, even the dumb shit he said as the two fell asleep in their arms late at night.

" Uh- Buddy-? " Balsa spoke, slowly and quietly causing Valden to snap out of his thoughts. " You alright buddy? You seem to be uh- A little out of it. " 

The Painter's eyes glossed over with tears which he tries to hold back as hard as he could to not burst into a sobbing and shaking state once more. 

" Luca- Do you really not remember? " Edgar whispered.

" I'm- I'm sorry? " Were the only words the other managed to spit out, not wanting to say something in case he hurt the stranger before him. Well 'stranger', they weren't strangers. There were lovers but that memory was wiped from his head. They were lovers for eyes, but he kept forgetting, 2 years ago now in the spring at the Manor when Luca was still working was their first meeting and Valden always reminded him of how and where they met, what his favourite things were what was going on. Everything. Because he cared even if he came off as an asshole and jerk around everyone else, Luca Balsa was his soft spot at the end of the day.

Gingerly, he opened his mouth to speak even just to whisper a word but nothing came out, he was completely silent and not even a whimper left his lips as if he was just simply frozen.

Valden stood there, hazelnut hair tied up in a ponytail behind him like always and his hat lay crooked on his head. His eyes were red from sobbing as well as his nose for the same reason. He had just lost the person he most cared for, gone, out of his reached. If he was there fast enough, if he managed to grab luca and run, if only. Even the hunter felt bad for what had happened as they walked into the Manor with a worried expression as the rest dragged Luca inside but of course they had to be separated from each other, that was simply the rules which they couldn't break.

" Your name is luca balsa, " Edgar started calmly, holding his face tighter, " You are twenty four years old and,, your favourite season is spring, and you told me that ages ago because it was spring when we first met. " 

" Buddy- " 

" I- I can take you places where we spent our time together, I can show you paintings you helped with- Anything, I promise we can get your memory back. "

Edgar had begun to sob again.

It seemed the world was really against The Painter, it felt like everything was always against him. All he wanted was to be happy, that's it, he wanted to live his life with the person he cared most for and one day get put this shithole of a Manor but now it seemed like he was alone. Again. With no one by his side. It was depressing, to fall back into the hole of feeling like nothing in your life mattered but he could work his sorrows away. I mean, he thought he could anyways because who actually knows how much free time he'll have now, maybes he'll go into more matches wishing that something would take his mind of the dreadful feeling in his chest, or maybe he could lock himself up and sob. Sob and cry and scream and yell at himself because he was so stupid to let Balsa get so badly hurt.

 Luca forget everything, every trace of Edgar and where he even was, so all hope The Painter had was gone.

------------------------------------------------------------------

This was sorta based on

that piece of art but more Angsty so credit to the person that made that for the inspo!!! I really loved it. And I really enjoyed writing this despite not being confident in my writing and not writing too much.

[catboymingi]

there’s no caution signs for life

and even if there were, who’d follow those?

navi/masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 9k i am so sorry

warnings: mentions of rape, sex (nothing leading up to it, nor a description of the act) - these are mentioned as past happenings; depictions of unhealthy coping (the unhealthy coping part of sleeping around is focused on more than the sex part), self hate, medication use (prescription, for mental health issues); language

a/n: my thought process: so we want hurt... then comfort... then hurt again... then comfort... and then we are in love with mingi - also heavily inspired by this song (pihtiote by apulanta) which is written as “PIHTIOTE WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO STAN“ in my inspo doc

you made a mistake, but maybe it’s the mistake that finally gets you back on track

jos tuntisit mun mieleni / mun ajatukset ja sieluni / jos kuulisit sydämen / sen rytmin merkityksen... / muutos roikkuu ilmassa - if you knew my mind / my thoughts and soul / if you listened to my heart / the meaning of its rhythm... / change hangs in the air

you would’ve expected that four years after the incident you’d be over it, you held yourself to this standard, thinking that you were weak for still being affected. being incredibly affected, today, on the anniversary of the worst thing that had ever happened to you. of course you were in a bar again, as always, looking for the next poor soul to take home, and you quickly found someone. maybe you should have kept looking for someone else, because this guy was sweet and attentive, and experience had taught you that the sweet ones were hoping to stay in the mornings. but because today wasn’t just a regular day your regular concerns were not as much of a consideration as they usually were and you didn’t keep looking, you went with him. he wasn’t drunk, he was fine with it, so you took him home.

but you knew, the next morning, that you should have kept looking, when he was still next to you when you woke up.

“good morning”, and he still sounded so incredibly sweet that you felt a surge of guilt wash through your body, because you’d have to let him down.

“i don’t usually do this”, he then told you, smiling awkwardly with one arm wrapped around you.

“i don’t do relationships.” and though you didn’t want to hurt him you felt it’d only be more unfair to him if you kept him here when he was very obviously hoping he’d get to take you out.

“o-oh. sorry.” arm removed from around your waist as if he’d gotten burnt. he looked a little lost, leaving your bed and hurriedly putting his clothes back on. he sent you a last glance, a mixture of hopeful and apologetic, as he left your apartment. you hadn’t even kissed him. poor boy.

but it wasn’t something you could do. not after what happened. it was bad enough that this very specific first had been taken from you, the biggest first for most people; you weren’t going to give up any other firsts. dates, relationships, kissing, all that was out of the question. you went home with people and left the next morning, that was how this worked, trying desperately to make that one horrible first matter less if the next ones didn’t matter either. if you pretended sex wasn’t a matter of emotions, maybe one day you’d finally get over what happened. one day.

//

you honestly didn’t expect to see the sweet boy ever again, because you never saw any boys ever again, but found yourself surprised when he was in the kitchen of the apartment you’d woken up in without remembering this night’s boy’s name or where exactly you even were. you were just trying to get some water before leaving when you found him standing there, looking at you with a somewhat sad smile on his face as he recognised you, obvious what you’d been doing here.

“you really don’t do relationships, huh?” he knew his flatmate was notorious for quick flicks, so seeing you come out of his room at least told him that you hadn’t lied to him that morning just to get him to leave. still, it was a weird feeling.

you just looked at him, unsure of what to say, because there wasn’t really anything good to say to him. ‘yes, i’m a whore’? ‘i fuck to forget, it’s nothing personal’? that wouldn’t work.

“you know each other?” last night’s company had apparently woken up as well now, before you’d been able to sneak out, and he looked between you and his flatmate with a curious expression. that was quickly replaced by one of understanding as he managed to read the expression on the other boy’s face, and he told you, almost proud: “oh! you’re the one that made a man out of mingi!”

you’d been his first? oh fuck. you usually made sure to ask about that, because you refused to steal people’s firsts the way yours had been stolen, didn’t want to be a bad memory, but the emotional turmoil of the night you’d met mingi had apparently made you neglect this most important part in choosing your company.

“you just had to embarrass me”, the sweet, tall boy groaned out, and you looked at him wide-eyed. it felt like the room was spinning around you as the guilt hit you like a truck, the disgust with yourself, because this poor boy would never be able to get this experience back and it was your fault, your fault alone because you’d used him to get over what had happened to you.

you barely even paid attention to what happened next, to your panicked exit, because you had to get out. you needed air and you needed to be away from the living reminder of how badly you’d fucked up. you stormed out of the apartment, not even bothering to put your shoes on before you were outside, all your belongings clutched to your chest until you were on the street outside of the building. you’d taken the stairs, run down and almost fallen because you were barely paying attention to where you were stepping, earning you more than one concerned glance by neighbours that were doing whatever one does in a stairwell on a sunday morning.

once outside you dropped on the grass in front of the surprisingly nice building, trying to catch your breath and putting on your shoes. your heart was beating rapidly, blood rushing through your veins loudly, and you could feel the dreaded panic attack incoming. it was because of your sorry state that you didn’t notice that mingi had come after you, keys in hand that had to be yours since they were neither his nor his flatmate’s.

when he saw you heaving on the ground struggling with your shoelaces, though, his concern was more making sure that you were okay. “is everything alright?”

your head jolted up, and you were looking at him - through him - wide-eyed and shocked, only half able to recognise him for who he was.

“leave!” you surprised yourself with how scared you sounded, how loudly you yelled at him, and he seemed at least as surprised. had he done something wrong?

“you forgot your keys, i just-”

but you didn’t even really register what he was saying, just shouting at him again.

“i said leave!” and because he didn’t really have the right to ask what was up (you’d just had sex, obviously not a big deal, not to you) he just dropped your keys next to you without saying a word and left.

//

it had taken you a few days, a call to the acute unit of the hospital you’d spent several weeks in back when you hadn’t yet tried to self-medicate with one night stands, and their prescription renewal for benzodiazepines (which you were now taking near religiously) before you were even somewhat back to normal and able to go back to work or university. maybe you would have stayed home longer, though, if you’d known that mingi had been visiting your work daily, hoping to see you there and at least be able to make sure that you were okay. you’d had a work key on your keychain, and even though he did feel a little stalker-ish he’d shown up every day. you hadn’t looked okay at all, and while you obviously didn’t care about him, probably thought he was somewhat embarrassing, even, he couldn’t help but worry about you.

and when you came in four days after you’d stormed out of his apartment like that he felt somewhat relieved, because going to work meant that you couldn’t be doing all too bad. he didn’t come up to you, though, feeling like that would definitely cross the line between somewhat creepy behaviour and really creepy behaviour.

your coworker had noticed him, though, the new regular, and because she knew about your tendency to take every adult being that didn’t mind it home with you she leaned in close, whispering and pointing at him, informing you that he’d been coming for a few days now and that he seemed like a good catch. and it was first then that you noticed mingi.

it was solely thanks to the benzo that you’d taken right before leaving that you didn’t have the next panic attack right there. you couldn’t do anything about it right now, anyway, couldn’t afford to break down at your workplace. so you tried your best to pretend you didn’t see him, to pretend he wasn’t there.

he very much was there, though, barely having moved by the point your break started, which left you feeling conflicted. you didn’t want to talk to him, but at the same time you just really wanted to apologise, hoping it would alleviate even some of the guilt still eating away at you.

“mingi?”

he looked up surprised when you were calling out for him, because he in all honesty hadn’t expected that at all. he’d hoped you’d talk to him, of course, but he hadn’t expected that you actually would.

“how are you?”

he should be the one asking. he should be apologising for the awkward situation you’d found yourself in that was at least partly his fault. but instead he just stammered, somewhat embarrassed, somewhat flustered: “i’m, i’m good, i think. you?”

he seemed so sweet and you felt so bad for what you’d done. you wished you could take him out, to make up for it, wished you could go on an actual date because he deserved his first to be someone that would go out with him and that would cherish him and someone that actually cared about the experience. not a fucking slut.

“not much worse than usual.” and before he could ask about it you continued: “i’m so sorry about that night. i didn’t know you hadn’t… you know. i shouldn’t have done that.”

this situation was so weird. you seemed a lot more sorry than expected, more upset with yourself than appropriate, you seemed so different from the girl that had told him that she didn’t do relationships right after waking up. it seemed like you genuinely cared about an experience that wasn’t even yours, like you felt worse about him having spent it this way than he did himself.

“it’s fine, really. i shouldn’t have expected i’d get to take you out or anything, it was my own decision.” though he did sound somewhat sad about it still, and you wanted to hug him because this wasn’t fucking fair, your stupid way of coping was never supposed to hurt anyone else.

“i’m sorry. i wish you could. just, it’s not you, okay? you’re sweet and nice and deserve something better.” whether you meant better than a one night stand or better than you not even you knew.

mingi didn’t know what to make of this, didn’t know what to make of your behaviour, so he just nodded. but when your coworker called for you to tell you your break was over he spoke up, hit by a sudden wave of… not confidence, but bravery caused by wanting to see you again, even if you didn’t like him.

“can i come again tomorrow?”

even though you knew you wouldn’t be able to give him what he deserved you didn’t have it in you to turn him down, so you just nodded before going back to work.

//

and he did come again, waving at you shortly before ordering a drink and sitting down somewhere, waiting for your break, hoping you’d come to talk to him again. he was patient, looking at you every now and then but mainly scribbling into a small notebook he’d brought to kill time. when you did come over he smiled at you, a smile brighter than you deserved from him.

“how long is your break today?”

“thirty.” though you didn’t have it in you to look him in the eyes.

“can i get you a drink?” 

when your head shot up in surprise he quickly added: “as a friend, don’t worry. you don’t do relationships.”

this boy was way too good for you, you knew that. but if it’d make him happy to get you a drink then you’d let him, of course you would.

“what do you want?”

“surprise me.”

surprise you he did when he came back with a berry frapino, explaining his choice with “it matches your vibe” and looking away in embarrassment at your incredulous expression. you hadn’t at all expected your vibe to be sweet and pastel, considering how you were the definition of an alt girl, facial piercings and studded belt and all, hair constantly dyed a bright, unnatural colour. you wanted to look intimidating, not like an easy target, never again, and so far you had succeeded. yet the sweet boy had decided that a pastel coloured berry frapino matched your vibe.

“it fits your vibe better”, you said finally, but took it anyway, smiling at him.

the two of you just sipped your drinks, sitting in somewhat awkward silence, but how could it not be awkward? you didn’t actually know each other, the only connection being that you happened to have spent a night together. that wasn’t really a great conversation starter.

“do you study?”, mingi spoke up after a few awfully quiet minutes, and you nodded.

“teaching. foreign language kindergarten teacher. you?”

“oh me too! teaching, i mean. maths and history for high school.”

you were surprised, though it fit him. he looked like the kind to be a good teacher, and if you left out that one night you’d met at a bar he did have somewhat of a nerdy vibe. still, it was nice to have something in common to talk about, and you quickly found that talking to him was fun, that it was really easy to just ramble on.

“y/n! break’s over!”

apparently the thirty minutes were already over - you hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed while talking to mingi, it felt more like ten, maybe.

“i have to go.” though you didn’t really want to. you knew you shouldn’t, most definitely shouldn’t because you’d just be getting his hopes up, but you thought he was nice, maybe even liked him a little bit, in the friend way.

“see you tomorrow?” fuck. his expression was so hopeful, you just couldn’t turn him down, even though the hopeful expression was all the more reason why you should turn him down. but you didn’t want to see him sad, not again, not after you’d fucked up so badly the first time you met him already.

“see you tomorrow.”

and though you quickly turned around to go back to work you didn’t miss the smile spreading on his face.

//

the sweet brunette soon became a regular, coming in whenever you were working (he’d still ask “see you tomorrow?” in that hopeful voice whenever your break was over, and that way he knew whether or not you’d be working the next day) and patiently waited for your break, leaving anywhen from ten minutes to an hour after you had to go back to work. he hadn’t yet gathered the courage to ask you if you’d like to really hang out with him sometime, outside of work where you couldn’t really escape, but today was the day, he decided.

“hey y/n!”

why did he always have to smile so sweetly whenever he saw you? it wasn’t like you’d done anything to deserve it.

“hey mingi”, and you smiled back before you could help it.

“i kind of have a question”, nervously, hands playing with the pages of the notebook he always brought.

“what is it?”

“would you like to hang out after work sometime? or when you have a day off?”

oh no… it seemed like your plan to not get his hopes up had failed miserably.

“mingi, you know i don’t-”

“i know”, the boy quickly interrupted, “it’s not a date. just hanging out where i don’t feel like you’re just talking to get me to buy more drinks. where you can run if you want to.”

he was so kind and cute, worrying that you might feel pressured, sending you an awkward, lopsided grin, that you just had to agree.

“friday? i don’t have work then.”

mingi’s entire face lit up, eyes two upward crescents as his smile almost made them disappear completely; he was such a genuine sweetheart and you wished you weren’t like this.

“friday! can i still come here until then or would you rather i don’t?”

“where else would you get latte art like this?”

he didn’t even order a latte, so this was a really weak argument, but it held up. it was more about knowing that you wouldn’t mind, which you’d shown with your reply. he seemed all happy and excited about that, and you felt the strong urge in you to protect him, even though he was quite a bit taller and most likely also stronger than you. but he still felt… pure, like life hadn’t tainted him yet, and though you knew you couldn’t prevent it from happening sooner or later you wanted to at least try to make it later rather than sooner.

//

the next two days were spent as the last few weeks had been, him spending your break with you and then leaving, except he shyly asked for your number on thursday, so you could agree on where and when to meet up and let the other know in case something got in the way. and he got it, of course, though it felt a little weird. you didn’t usually give your number out - it was meeting, going home, leaving, no need to share your number. but mingi wasn’t ‘usually’, something you didn’t know how to feel about.

nor did you know how to feel about the weird ping of anxiety you felt the next day as you got ready to meet the boy. he’d seen you in your party attire and in your work clothes, but what you regularly wore wasn’t exactly like either of those. “revealing” your style to him made you strangely nervous, but you tried to convince yourself that it wasn’t a big deal. it was just mingi, after all.

when you were ready you shot him a message saying that you were leaving now, asking where you were going so you’d know which subway to take.

[mingi]: its near centre

[mingi]: do you have pet allergies? food allergies?

a fairly odd combination of questions, but then again there was always the possibility that people would bring their pets to a café, which you assumed was where he was going to take you, so you told him that you didn’t before making your way to the train.

[y/n]: ill be there in 10. where do we meet?

[mingi]: im almost there, so ill wait in front of the station

and he was waiting, looking cosy and sweet as always, wearing a massive sweater and grinning at you brightly. his soft look made you feel a little weird, because it didn’t exactly match well with your all-black attire, but if he thought you looked odd he didn’t show it.

“hey!” excitement apparent in his voice, though the way he was standing looked a little awkward.

“hey, mingi.” and you smiled back at him, because you were happy to see him, actually.

“can i, uh, hug you? a hello hug? or is that weird”, he asked, the request making you understand why he looked like that - he didn’t know how to greet you, because this was a new environment and you’d never met up outside of work before.

“go ahead.”

he immediately did, pressing you against his chest shortly but tightly, the hug about as awkward as him but you didn’t mind. it felt nice, comfortable, and first now did you realise how long you hadn’t been hugged like this. you definitely had your reasons, but maybe a hug every now and then would be nice, still.

“ready to go?” his nervous enthusiasm had you thinking that if he started jumping up and down it wouldn’t even surprise you, but it was cute.

“where are you taking me?”

“surprise.” and without any further explanation he started half-jogging in the direction of his surprise, first slowing down when you complained that your legs were shorter than his and that you couldn’t keep up.

“sorry!”

but you couldn’t even pretend to be mad at him. and you definitely weren’t when you reached your destination - a cat café.

“i hope you like cats.” he was obviously anxious about your complete lack of reaction, just staring at the building while you were taking in his adorable choice of location.

“i’m more worried the cats won’t like me”, you joked, trying to calm his nerves because he really had no reason to be worried - you were glad to be there with him, even though you weren’t ready to think about why.

“but consider”, he countered as the two of you entered, “you’re the one with the treats.”

“not that convincing when you have treats, too.”

and in the short moment where you saw his face before he turned to pay the fee you saw something that looked like a flustered expression, causing a small smile to appear on your face without you noticing.

the smile hadn’t yet disappeared when your time with the cats was up, giving mingi the courage he needed in order to ask if you wanted to hang out a little longer. he suggested the movies, explaining that there was a fairly recent one he’d wanted to see, but really the main reason for his suggestion was that he hoped he’d feel a little less awkward if someone else did the talking and the entertaining.

“okay” was all you said in reply, not sure how much enthusiasm would be appropriate. not sure how exactly you felt about the situation, either; you wanted to spend more time with him, but you didn’t want to want that, so it left you conflicted.

he beamed at you, obviously not concerned in the slightest about how much enthusiasm was appropriate, near yelling “let’s go then!” - you thought that he was way too cute for your own good as he took off, stopping after a few steps as he remembered that your legs were definitely shorter than his.

“sorry, i keep forgetting”, he apologised with a sheepish smile, and you smiled back at him.

“just means i got a very prominent energy, doesn’t it?”

“probably does.”

you were still glad, though, when he did keep the difference in leg length in mind, walking at a pace that was easy for you to keep up with. the two of you joked and talked on the short walk to the cinema, and when you got there he told you briefly what the movie was about (to his knowledge, at least - he’d only seen the trailer), so that you could tell him if that wasn’t your kind of movies. he insisted on paying, with the reasoning that he’d dragged you here, and after several pouty “come on”s from him you finally agreed. he never got to the cash register, though, because you saw someone. someone you hoped you’d never have to see again, someone whose face you hoped you’d forgotten by now but actually hadn’t, probably never would.

fight, flight - freeze. you tensed up, gripping mingi’s arm suddenly, with a force that left him surprised. it hurt, admittedly, and he had no idea what on earth was wrong, but you weren’t even looking at him. you were staring somewhere in the room, him trying to follow your gaze and seeing you staring at a man that was currently queueing to get snacks.

“what’s up?”

you didn’t reply to his question, though; you hadn’t even fully registered that he’d asked something.

“let’s go.”

“but the movie-?”

“let’s go!” desperately trying not to yell so he wouldn’t see you, wouldn’t recognise you, but it was hard because you had to get out of there, had to convince mingi to get you out of there, and he seemed to really want to watch that fucking movie. you were half dragging him outside, hoping you hadn’t made a fuss, hoping you hadn’t caught his attention, but the fear was already bubbling up in you. you had to get home, right now, and you told the boy that.

“i’m going to bring you home.” it was a statement, not a question; there was no way he was going to let you take the train and walk to your apartment all by yourself when you looked like you were barely even there right now. and you didn’t protest, honestly didn’t care. you just had to get home.

by the time you were home it hadn’t gotten better, though, quite the opposite - your breathing was regular but shallow, you felt dizzy, and you kept replaying that night over and over in your head. you needed to do something, and there was only one thing you knew to do in those situations, so instead of thinking logically you turned to mingi, who had entered with you, determined to make sure you’d be okay, whatever the problem was.

“please fuck me.” you were desperate, wanted to erase the memories, wanted to erase the dirty feeling, wanted to erase every single one of the man’s touches, and you knew having someone else touch you would do that, at least for the moment. and mingi was the only one that was there.

“no.” stern. you’d never heard him sound as serious as this, even though he did look surprised by your suggestion. plea?

“just fuck me, mingi”, you begged again, but he wouldn’t. of course he wouldn’t, because you weren’t okay and he wasn’t going to touch you at all if you weren’t in your right mind. even if you asked him to.

“i’m not going to do that, y/n.”

and while you should be grateful that he had morals like this in that moment it just made you angry, unreasonably angry, and you snapped at him even though he’d done nothing to deserve it. even though he’d brought you home and made sure you were okay, without even knowing what was wrong. even though he was so sweet and you were so grateful for his kindness you snapped at him.

“then just fucking leave.”

so he did.

//

he didn’t come to your work after that. he didn’t text you, made no attempt to contact you. he was gone, because you’d fucked up again. because you’d wanted to use him again. you felt disgusting, guilty, horrible, and you’d hurt him. not just once, but twice. you didn’t deserve him, hadn’t deserved him right from the start, but you wanted to apologise, at least. even though it was selfish to want to contact him you wanted to tell him that it wasn’t him who was the problem, that the only problem was and had always been you. so, during yet another night that you were spending staring at the wall and hating yourself, you decided to text him.

[y/n]: please dont have me blocked

the few minutes between ‘received’ and ‘read’ were among the most torturous of your life. and when he replied, you felt more relieved than you’d expected.

[mingi]: what do you want

[mingi]: i wont fuck you again

and even though you knew you were a slut, objectively, hearing from him that he saw you that way now, too, hurt. a lot. you hadn’t felt this dirty in years.

[y/n]: can you call me

[y/n]: please

he didn’t want to. he was hurt, of course he was, and somewhat angry at both you and himself. you because you’d only agreed to meet him so you could get in his pants, and himself because he’d genuinely thought that maybe that wasn’t the reason for you meeting him. that maybe you liked him. but even though he didn’t want to, he still called you.

you picked up immediately, but then you didn’t know where to start. you didn’t know what to tell him. the explanations you owed him weren’t something you wanted to sort by phone, definitely not. you wanted him to come over and come clean about how fucked up you were because you did like him, you wanted to spend time with him for him and not for his dick, but that was most definitely not what he’d believe if you just asked him to come over again right away.

“y/n? are you there?”

the emotion in his voice wasn’t one you could place, one you recognised, and you wanted to fucking cry. this poor sweet boy. why was he even calling you? what had you done to deserve his kindness?

“i’m so fucking sorry, mingi.” your voice was cracking, tears starting to run down your cheeks, but you didn’t care to wipe them away. he couldn’t see them, anyway. even if he could, he probably wouldn’t care.

“you made it clear what you wanted. it’s not your fault that i thought maybe you’d actually like me, like as a person. not just for that.”

“it’s not fucking that, it’s- it’s more complicated, okay? but it’s not that.”

he didn’t know how to react. if it wasn’t that, then what was it? what other way was there to interpret “just fuck me”? it wasn’t exactly something to misunderstand.

“then what is it? i’m not some toy, y/n, so if you don’t do friendships either tell me now. don’t make both of us waste our time.”

you could tell he was angry, and you could tell he was hurt. and you could understand him, you could. you hadn’t treated him right.

“fuck, mingi, i can’t explain like this. this is probably the worst thing i could ask right now, but can you please come over? or i’ll come over or we’ll meet in public, just… i can’t tell you on the phone. don’t make me tell you on the phone.”

maybe it was the way you were sobbing into the line that made him ignore his doubts and his anger and his pain, because it was obvious that you weren’t feeling good either. or maybe he was just a fucking idiot that had fallen in love with someone he shouldn’t have, and now couldn’t fall out of love again. no matter what it was, he agreed.

“right now? i can come over, but promise… promise you won’t try that again if i do.”

“i promise.” it was barely audible, disrupted by sobs, but he understood you anyway, and he told you he’d be there soon. and before you had a chance to reply he hung up.

the time spent waiting for him was horrible, part of you expecting him to never actually come. but he did, he kept his promise, texting you that he was in front of your door now. he just couldn’t get himself to ring.

his expression had been cold for only a few seconds before he realised the sorry state you were in, softening immediately as he did so. that only made you hate yourself more - you’d hurt him, horribly so, made him feel like a toy for you to use, and still he looked at you with those soft eyes.

“you don’t deserve this”, you said as you moved to let him in.

“just explain.” he didn’t know whether to be angry or worried or hurt, but he knew he definitely wasn’t feeling good right now.

“i have issues.”

it was hard to start. you didn’t want to explain, you didn’t want to say it, you’d never actually admitted out loud what had happened. the hospital had known because it was obvious, because your mother had found you whimpering and hurt and bruised in your garden the next morning, not because you’d said anything. you’d never said anything. hadn’t described him, hadn’t aided in his prosecution, hadn’t done anything. had tried to pretend it never happened and that you didn’t care. the thought of saying it now made you panic, and you went to your night table where the little box of benzos was, taking one because you knew you’d need it. then you turned back to mingi, who was still looking at you with a weird expression.

“i fuck to forget. that’s why i usually try to make so sure i don’t take people home that haven’t done it before, because they deserve so much better than that for their first. you would’ve deserved so much better than that.”

taking in a deep breath. you had to say it now.

“i didn’t have that choice for my first and i… i don’t know how else to deal with things. besides fucking around and pretending that it doesn’t matter. i’m a fucking slut, mingi, i’m just a stupid fucking slut, and i-”

your sobs had taken over and you felt pathetic. you owed him an apology, not a breakdown. you owed him the option to get angry at you, to scream at you, but you knew he wouldn’t when you were crying like this - he was way too sweet for that. still, you couldn’t stand to look at him. you didn’t want to see the disgust that you knew would be clear on his face. he’d already sounded disgusted by your behaviour before, you didn’t want to imagine how much worse it would be now.

“can i hug you?”

did you hear right? had he really just offered to hug you, despite knowing what he knew?

“i don’t deserve it. i’m… you’re still clean.”

he had a feeling that trying to convince you that you weren’t dirty either would be a lost cause right now, so he didn’t.

“if i just do it anyway, will you let me?”

you didn’t have the energy to argue. part of you really wanted him to. you were selfish. so you said yes.

it only took a few seconds for him to wrap his arms around your shaking form and hold you tightly.

“i promise i wanted to meet you. i promise i just wanted to hang out, i promise, but i… i saw him and i didn’t know what to do and you were there and- and it’s not fucking fair and i’m sorry.” you were sobbing into his shirt and he finally understood. understood the change in behaviour, the way you were so different so suddenly.

“at the cinema?”

he felt you nod and only held you tighter. that did explain things, and he couldn’t even be mad at you anymore. he couldn’t imagine what that must have been like - of course it would shake you up.

“i don’t fucking want to be like this and i want to go on dates and fall in love but i can’t risk it, i can’t fucking risk it. if that turns shit too i have nothing anymore that could make up for it and who’d even want me anyway when i’m just a slut and when i’ve slept with half the campus and when i’ve never been in love and don’t even know how that works? who’d want  a mess like this?”

maybe it was really bad timing to confess, maybe he really shouldn’t do it, but his mouth moved before his brain had the power to stop him.

“i would.”

“you’re angry at me. you hate me.”

“that’s not true.”

you chose to ignore it because you couldn’t think about that right now and because he’d probably only said it out of pity, anyway, instead continuing to say all the things you’d pretended you hadn’t been feeling for the past years.

“i just don’t feel like i have the right to do anything else anymore. i’ve already fucked up so bad and everything and i… who says i can just stop now and pretend it’s all good? how can i start making things matter when they’ve never fucking mattered before? i can’t just say ‘okay, the past hundreds haven’t mattered, but this one, this one’s going to matter’, that’s not how it works.”

“can you please look at me?”

in all honesty, the fact that he was listening surprised you, because you didn’t feel like it was something anyone else would care about. people didn’t care about how you felt, so why would he suddenly be the first? but it seemed like he was, because when you looked up at him he already had his eyes on you, with a softness in them that maybe calmed your broken heart just a little bit.

“i know you can’t pretend none of that happened, but it… it doesn’t have to be your first. none of that has to be. you can decide what counts, what requirements there are. you’re still young, you can start over, even if you’ve messed up before. you can just try again. it’s okay.”

his hand was running up and down your back soothingly now and you wanted to stay like that until he’d rubbed all your worries away, because you felt like if he just kept going long enough he might be able to.

“i’m just scared.” you were still crying, but now it was silent tears running down your cheeks rather than the broken, body-shaking sobs from earlier. “i want to be in love but i don’t know how it works. i don’t know if i can. i kind of gave up on that, buried that dream of a family and a picket-fence life and whatever people paint as love and just… accepted i wouldn’t have that. what if i can’t have that?”

“you’ll find someone that’s going to give you all that”, he told you before pulling your head back to his shoulder and keeping his warm hand on your hair, an action that made you feel small but incredibly safe, but that he’d mainly done so you wouldn’t see his face now. he wasn’t intending on getting you to give him a chance or anything, he just wanted to let you know that you weren’t as much of a lost cause as you thought you were, but he still didn’t exactly want you to be staring at him when he was being emotional and embarrassing.

“you just have to give it a try. if you managed to make me fall for you when you kept telling me you don’t even do relationships, i bet you won’t be able to save yourself from all the admirers once you let down your walls a little bit.”

again, you didn’t know what to say. you’d guessed he’d liked you, in the beginning, but with the way he’d been ghosting you (and mainly the way you’d treated him and all the issues you had) you’d thought whatever feelings there were had disappeared. apparently they hadn’t, though, and it was a little hard to figure out how you felt about that. you didn’t want to hurt him again, and in all honesty you didn’t feel like you were in the right headspace to think about this without making hasty decisions. you most definitely had to calm down first.

“you’re tired.”

he wasn’t, actually, but when you got out from his embrace in order to sit on the bed instead, back against the wall, he guessed it was a way to cuddle without having to say that you were cuddling, without having to ask him to cuddle, and he was happy to comply.

it surprised both of you how readily you put your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arms around him, but neither said anything. this wasn’t the situation to say anything. it was the situation for silence and giving you time.

//

“how do you know if you’re in love?” the way your voice was so soft and curious and still all quiet from crying made mingi feel a little like he was explaining love to a child, except he was explaining it to the person that made him feel all these things.

“for me, i want to spend time with the person. all the time. i get sad if i don’t see them. even if we’re just sitting in the same room doing our own thing, or eating together, doesn’t matter. i always want to see them. and when i do, it makes me happy. they don’t even need to do anything, i’m smiling. and i want them to smile, too, want them to be happy. so if i know something that makes them happy, i try to do that. and i pay attention to the small details, like how you really seem to like that berry frapino. and then i daydream about that all the time, even though it’s silly. but i think for me a big sign is that when they notice something about me, when they say something about me that i hadn’t noticed, or when they associate something with me, then i get really happy whenever that thing comes up. even if i didn’t care about it earlier, now it just feels really special. they could say they like how red compliments my eyes and i’d be wearing red nonstop, just because they like it and i like them so i like it, too. it’s all really cheesy, though.”

the sweet boy seemed embarrassed, but you were somewhat deep in thought as you let his description run through your mind. you’d been happy whenever he was at the café, and almost hoped you’d get more shifts so you wouldn’t have to tell him you wouldn’t be working the next day. even though he was mainly just watching you work, ordering a drink every now and then, it had been nice to know he was sitting there. always scribbling in that little notebook he had, tapping his pencil against the top edge of it when he seemed stuck, twice per second (had you counted? you didn’t remember that), a regular speed, and you’d imagined that little tap tap when you were home working on your assignments, having noticed that you’d picked the twice a second-tapping habit up as well. and the berry frapino he’d mentioned - of course it tasted good, you’d tried it before, but it tasted better ever since he told you it matched your vibe, so you’d found yourself getting it even when he wasn’t around. looking back at all this, it meant…

“oh.”

not exactly the reaction he’d expected. he looked at you quizzically, urging you to elaborate.

“i guess i’m in love? but i’m not really a good fit for you.”

“how do you mean?” if you were going to tell him that he deserved better than someone with your past again even though he just told you that it didn’t matter to him…

“you’re cute. like, really cute. and i’m pretty much the opposite.”

not at all what he’d expected, and it almost made him laugh. you were worried about aesthetics?

“remember the frapino? the one i keep getting for you.”

“of course.” how could you not when it filled you with a weird warmth even though it was a cold drink?

“i meant it when i said it matches your vibe. you’re cute, too. i know you’re trying not to be, and you don’t look the part, but you’re cute.”

“hm.” you were trying to figure out your thoughts and what you wanted to do, how you wanted to proceed, because the thought of being with him wasn’t as scary as the thought of being with anyone else, but you didn’t want to accidentally lead him on and let him down again.

“what if i wanted to do relationships? or, one relationship. with you?”

he lifted his head in surprise, you could feel it because his cheek was no longer pressed against your hair, but there was no way you were going to remove your head from his shoulder.

“you do?”

you couldn’t tell what he was feeling, his voice coloured by an emotion you didn’t recognise, didn’t know how to place. so, naturally, you got scared he’d been all talk and no action, didn’t like you enough to want to actually be with you. still, you hummed in confirmation, though once more refusing to look at him as you did so.

“you’re not rushing yourself because you’re scared you won’t get another chance, are you? because you’ll get plenty, you don’t have to settle for the next-best thing, you-”

he never got to finish whatever irrational thoughts he was having, because you finally looked up, looked at him sternly, and told him: “you’re not the next-best thing. don’t even think that.” then, your head went straight back to his shoulder, because this was both scary and embarrassing.

“if you want to do relationships...”, mingi started, “if you really want to-”

you nodded against him to show that you did really want to, and he continued.

“if you really want to, we can do that. but i’ll take you out on dates, no objections.”

now you tensed up a little, because the prospect of real dates complete with feelings and everything was kind of making you anxious, still.

“objections?” of course he’d felt your body tense, you were stupid to think he wouldn’t, and that it wouldn’t make him doubt.

“no objections. just… slow?”

it felt kind of ridiculous that you were nervous about going on dates when you’d not been nervous about doing what usually came after dates at all. but there’d never been feelings involved, so there’d never been feelings that could have been hurt. maybe that was why this was so much scarier.

“as slow as you want. but can i see you on campus?”

“mhm.” his neck was just way too warm and soft to lift your head and give a decent reply, it wasn’t your fault.

“i’ll bring you lunch. and little notes. it’s a little late for high school romance, but you’re not gonna miss out on all the embarrassing cutesy things.”

maybe looking at him would be worth lifting your head. maybe. you wouldn’t know until you tried.

“you can cook?”

“well, no”, and his awkward smile was so cute that for the first time, you wouldn’t mind if someone kissed you, because you felt it in you that he wouldn’t ever hurt you - he looked like he couldn’t hurt a fly, “but i’m very good at buying food. one of my redeeming qualities.”

the look you gave him was one of absolute adoration and his heart beat so hard that he could physically feel it bang against his chest. he wanted you to be his, and he wanted to be yours. maybe that was the case already, but he wanted one hundred percent certainty.

“are you doing a relationship? are we doing a relationship?”

you wanted to get rid of his uncertainty immediately, but there was also something else on your mind, and you knew this would be the easiest way to bring it up without chickening out, which you very likely would later.

“if i say yes, does that mean you’re going to kiss me?”

mingi didn’t know whether you wanted him to or whether it would be a dealbreaker, but either way his reply would have been the same.

“only if you want me to.”

“yes.”

“yes you want me to or yes we’re doing a relationship?”

he was embarrassed, you were embarrassed, the situation was incredibly awkward, and instead of “both”, as you’d intended to answer, you just told him “yes” again.

“you can always tell me to go slower, or stop”, he told you, trying to stop the happy grin at least until he was sure that you’d understood. when you nodded, there was no holding it back, though, and he quickly leaned in to give your cheek a sweet peck.

“that wasn’t what i meant”, you almost whined out when he was looking at you again, although he was avoiding your eyes.

“i know. but your piercings kind of scare me”, he admitted, obviously at least slightly embarrassed.

“scare you?”

“yeah, like… what if i get stuck and hurt you or something?”

how was he so sweet?

“you’re an angel.”

“my mum says that too.” why on earth had he said that? that was a one hundred percent fool-proof way to embarrass himself. but maybe it was worth it, because a small chuckle escaped your mouth, something neither he nor you had expected.

“she’s right. now kiss me. if ramen don’t get stuck you won’t either.” you didn’t have to tell him that ramen did get stuck - that would be your little secret. at least until experience had proven that he wouldn’t get stuck, because he was very much not ramen-shaped.

he still seemed a little hesitant, and you were about to laugh when you finally felt his lips on yours. you didn’t know how to describe the feeling you got when he did so, but it was a good one. he was warm and soft and though your noses had bumped for just a moment because you had absolutely zero idea what you were doing it felt… perfect. maybe the nose-bumping had played a part in that, too, because it felt so normal and human and authentic, not like something from a movie. it felt genuine, and that was the best thing about it. the way your hands were nervously moving from somehow awkwardly squished in between the two of you to his upper arms to his neck to his face, the way you kind of just let him do the moving and only parted your lips slightly so he could do whatever one did while kissing, the way his breath kind of tasted like pizza - which you assumed had been his dinner -, it all felt so perfectly normal and flawed in all the best ways that you couldn’t have been happier.

“regret it already?”, the sweet boy - your sweet boy? - asked you when he pulled away, half joking and half scared that you did regret it, but there was no way you ever would.

“only if you don’t do it again”, you informed him, and the smile that spread on his face at your reply was able to outshine the sun, if you were the one to judge.

“so i’m a good kisser?”

sillyhead.

“it’s not like i can judge, i don’t have any standard to compare it to”, you teased, because he’d teased you first and because you were happy and the happiness made you do things you normally wouldn’t.

“you don’t need to have tried a good kimchi to know when someone’s made a bad kimchi!”, he protested, and now you laughed, really laughed, not just a small chuckle.

“you’re saying you’re good kimchi?”

“i’m not saying, i’m implying.”

the way he was so cute and so silly and so sweet only made you fall in love more. in love. you were in love with him, almost hopelessly so.

“but i don’t really like meat, what do we do then?”

what he said next made you reconsider if he maybe wasn’t just a bit too silly, though.

“i bet there’s plenty people that would beg to differ.”

“mingi!”

he hadn’t thought a lot before saying it, just seeing it as a normal tease, but when you called out his name like that he got worried that he’d accidentally crossed a line. he was relieved to see you grinning, although you did look like you were about to playfully hit his arm.

“sorry, love”, hoping that the pet name would make up for it. and it did, because your expression changed into one of happy surprise.

“love?” as if you couldn’t believe it.

“love. or darling, baby, angel, sweetheart, i can probably think of more.” though this was him teasing you he most definitely would try to think of more, because you were his love and he wanted you to know even when you were just casually talking.

he didn’t get a reply, instead he got you dropping yourself over his lap in an attempt to have your head reach your pillow. now you were genuinely tired, and you wanted to sleep; though the day had ended well it had been among the most exhausting you’d had in quite a while.

“want to sleep, love?”

if he kept calling you love you’d probably have to get a pacemaker, because there was no way your heart skipping a beat or speeding up every single time he said it was healthy in the long run.

“yes, so come lay down.”

“you want me to stay the night?”

his surprise left you a little uncertain. was that not something you did with your partner? you were incredibly, awkwardly unaware of the rules, so you had no idea whether or not you’d just implied something that hadn’t been your intention to imply.

“if you want?” your face was hidden in your pillow, refusing to look at whatever negative expression might maybe be on his face, but you had no reason to worry, because he just pushed you a little closer to the edge of the bed so he’d fit in next to you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you tight.

“i move a lot in my sleep, just a warning”, he mumbled into your hair, “and no funny business.” he knew the reasons for your funny business and was fairly certain you weren’t exactly a fan of funny business anymore, or that was the impression he’d gotten, but there was still a little part of him that was anxious. he had no reason to be anymore, though.

“no funny business until marriage”, you assured as you tried to move your face as close as possible to his chest because you wanted to feel his heartbeat, and though neither of you could see the other’s face you both wore the same expression of complete content and love.

[worldwidemochiguy]

high by the beach (yandere! Namjoon)

@yn-dere​ (great url btw) requested:

High by the beach by lana del rey, namtiddies ( thi hoochie here could really use some inspo by amazing writers��😅✊🏼)

helloooo, sorry for taking like a billion years to do this lol but here u go, I just kind of wrote like a thousand words of an existential crisis, hope u enjoy!! and if u wanna read more then here is my masterlist :)

now playing: High By The Beach by Lana Del Rey

1:48  ────|───── 4:18

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The weather is nice today. That was the thought that had been echoing through your mind whenever you attempted to rouse yourself from the numbness that surrounded you these days. An effort to be more alert simply resulted in you noticing the same things, trying to encourage your mind to leap into the analytical musings and dialogue that used to fill your head. The way you used to think before you met him.

You once saw Namjoon as a blessing. Indeed, it was like he descended from Heaven as the direct answer to all your prayers. You were struggling in college, both financially and emotionally, but the thought of dropping out terrified you because you had no safety net, and if you didn’t get a degree you would never get the chance to better yourself or secure a steady job. And in came Namjoon. Your vulnerability was a drop of blood in the ocean, and Namjoon was the shark that hunted you down.

You met him when he came in as a guest lecturer for your business class. Straight away, you were stuck by how confident he seemed, effortlessly commanding in a way you had never been able to, capturing the attention of the entire class with just a few, well-placed words. And of course, his looks only accentuated his natural charisma. Many of your classmates had tried to get his attention, but for some reason, he fixated on you. Nobody, worthless, introverted you. Looking back, you realise your vulnerability was exactly what he wanted. Namjoon wanted to mould you into the perfect doll for him to play with, and now you couldn’t truly bring yourself to care about any of it. All you could do was wait for him to discard you. 

After around a month of ‘dating’, something happened to you. You came back to your dorm to find your purse, as well as many other valuables, gone without a trace. You knew you had no way of supporting yourself without any money, and the only person you could turn to… was Namjoon. He had pressured you to move in with him so that he could ‘take care of you’. His apartment was so far away from campus that commuting there took over an hour, and after Namjoon’s insistence that “It’s too much for you, darling. You just can’t handle it, but that’s ok, because I can take care of everything for you.” You dropped out of college. 

Since then, you had gotten used to a new routine; waking up to Namjoon’s absence. He had to get up early for work, but he always left a small breakfast for you, accompanied by a note. You used to think the short messages were cute and romantic, but now they were just another baseless gesture to keep you satisfied, so you didn’t bother reading any of them. It didn’t matter, he never told you anything anyway. 

 Your days consisted of wandering around Namjoon’s luxury apartment, waiting for him to come back. Often, you would just zone out for hours, only checking back into reality once the door opened and Namjoon came to greet you. Obviously, he had noticed you starting to dissociate for large lengths of time, and declared that both of you needed a holiday. As if the cure for a lack of motivation and individual identity was a beach vacation. 

Namjoon had flown the both of you to his private beach resort in Miami, but oddly, nothing much had changed. Namjoon still spent most of his days on his laptop or his phone. All that changed for you was that you had a larger ground to roam. 

You came back to yourself after sinking into your memories. You had been trying to be more present in yourself, but you guess reminiscing was a better alternative to sitting mindlessly with no thoughts in your head. You wonder if Namjoon would agree, or if he would rather you have no agency at all. If that was what he wanted, he must be satisfied now. 

You heard the sand shifting into crevices as someone neared, and sure enough, Namjoon was soon reclining beside you. 

“How are you feeling today, darling?” He drawled, and you were surprised his voice wasn’t hoarse considering all the shouting he did down the phone.

“I’m feeling good.” You weren’t feeling anything. 

“I’m glad. I only ever want you to feel good, princess. You have no worries now, right?” 

“Of course not.” His self-assured tone would’ve made you want to contradict him and inform him that his controlling and smothering nature was the very thing that should be causing you distress, but you were just too numb to it by now.

In the distance, gulls cawed and squawked and fought over fish. The noises blurred and distorted like white noise as your eyes slipped shut. You felt like you could just forget everything, everything about your troubled past and the freedoms you had lost and the problems with your life now and just. Lie there. Namjoon’s fingers had found their way into your hair and were now massaging it, he was behind you, supporting your reclining back against his chest. You absently wondered when he had rearranged the two of you but didn’t linger on it — he had probably moved your limbs himself without asking. He tended to use your body a lot like that. 

“Darling,” Namjoon’s warm breath brushed the shell of your ear and you sighed slightly, muscles loosening even more. “You know I love you more than anything, right? I’ll never let you want for anything, you have everything you need with me.” 

He was right. There was nothing you could need that he couldn’t provide, every urge was satisfied completely but that only cheapened the sensation and caused the yearning for human interaction grow stronger. It was easier for you to slip into complacency than it would be to realise the gaping abyss of loneliness within you. Namjoon helped you forget all of that emptiness. He even helped you forget that he was the cause of that emptiness.

“I love you.” He told you, and the words layered themselves over a billion other versions of the same declaration in your mind, overlapping until the noise became too loud to bear, and screamed itself into silence. His hands tightened slightly when you took too long to reply, your thoughts crashing over you like waves.

“I love you too, Namjoon.” The words tasted stale in your mouth.

Namjoon hummed in satisfaction, leaning back to look at the view of the sunset over the golden horizon. The spilled yolk of the sun was too harsh to bear, and you let your eyes instead rest on the ripples of waves in the distance. The tide rolled back and forth, eroding the sand again and again, like it would carry on forever. Encased in Namjoon’s arms, you watched as the years passed by in a second, and you wouldn’t even notice the change because they were all the same. Lying there, you  saw your life played out, repeating over and over until you finally start sinking into the sand.

send me a song and a member and I'll listen to it and write a oneshot

[shuahoonie]

ragnarok. [tom holland]

PAIRING: tom holland x female!reader 

SUMMARY: you and tom used to be something, even if it was never acknowledged. however things change, and people change. so what happens when you bump into him after avoiding each other for years? 

WARNINGS: swearing! lowkey sad lol! some cheesy scenes! sexual innuendos! the ever so classic ‘bffs pining for each other’ trope! lol

WORD COUNT: 4k ish lol

SONG INSPO: the night we met - lord huron // do i wanna know (cover) - hozier 

A/N: ok so i have a lot to say so bear with me!!! one, i have put off writing for quite some time now, well publicly that is, so this may come out like shit. next, the title has no correlation to this fic, but do you guys remember that one line in thor: ragnarok when thor was about to meet the grandmaster? the one when the soothing voice says, “where once you were nothing, now you’re something.” yeah... that’s how i got the inspiration for the title and the prompt mainly. you’ll know what i mean lmao. also, i was heartbroken when i wrote this ok? and it’s been sitting on my drafts so i might as well just put it out there right? heh. enjoy i guess.

gif credits to @peteparkrrs

“Where once you were something, now you’re nothing.”

You groaned and whipped your head back in frustration as the blank page from your laptop practically screamed at you. You didn’t know why you were writing-rather trying to write, a piece that wasn’t for work, nor why you were in the coffee shop that you perfectly avoided for the past two years. 

One thing’s for sure though, you felt like a whole other being just took over you and started to pick up things that you stopped doing a while ago.

“This is a hundred steps back from what I’ve been achieving,” You sighed to yourself. You stood up to order a cup of iced coffee this time. The green tea lemonade wasn’t really working out and you know your body craves the caffeine more than ever.

Not really paying attention to the barista, as you were too busy eyeing up the selection of pastries, you started giving them your order out of sheer reflex. “Hi, can I get a medium iced-”

“Oh, hey, Y/N! I haven’t seen you here in a while.”  The barista greeted you. You looked at the person who cut you off and realized it was the owner of the cafe herself.

“Oh, uh, hi Alyssa!” You greeted her shyly. You weren’t expecting to see Alyssa, especially when you’re trying your best to not be reminded of the past, but it was also quite foolish of you to think of it that way since she owns the place.

“So, same as always?” Alyssa asked you, in which you just nodded shyly. “Okay, so that’s a medium iced latte with caramel shot and a spinach and feta hand pie, yeah?”

You let out a soft smile, admiring how Alyssa still remembered your usual order. “I can’t believe after all these years, you still remember my order.”

“Of course, you were a regular,” Alyssa answered while ringing your order at the till. “I haven’t seen you here in a while, though.”

You cleared your throat, though you were expecting that you’re going to get asked this question eventually. “I was traveling for the past year for my work and I also had to force myself to find a place downtown since it was much closer to work,” You explained as you reached for your wallet. 

It was mostly true though, you moved to the centre of the city because the north side was too much for you. Too many familiar faces, too many memories.

“Well it’s nice that you still remember this place,” Alyssa smiled. The cafe was the gem of the Northside. It’s a local cafe located near the library, usually, you’ll find students who are in deep with studying, couples on a date, business workers who just stop by for a quick cup of coffee, or just old friends just meaning to catch up. “Oh and don’t worry, this one’s on me.” 

“Aly, that’s not really necessary,” You said, waving your one hand in dismissal while the other was ready to hand Aly your payment.

“Y/N, it’s totally fine! Think of it as a token of appreciation, yeah?” Alyssa reassured and you just smiled sheepishly, totally flustered.

Alyssa handed your order and in which you graciously thanked her. Aly just laughed and said that it was the least she could do. 

There was a small pause. Aly asked, clearly hesitating, “Hey, so, I’m not sure if this is too invasive and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but I haven’t seen you and Tom in here for a while. Did something happen?”

You froze at Alyssa’s question. Of course, she remembers Tom as well, you and Tom were practically inseparable a few years ago and this used to be your hangout place whenever you both had free time- hell, you made a lot of memories here. 

You and Tom were here when you both decided to bail on your prom dates. 

“Are you still cold, darling?” Tom asked as you held his coat tighter to your body. You were still wearing your prom dress when you entered the cafe, you were supposed to head straight home but Tom lured you in with a cup of coffee.

“I’m fine, Tommy.” You answered and gave him a small smile. “Shouldn’t we feel at least a tiny bit guilty?” You asked Tom as he handed you your drink. 

You muttered a small thanks as you held the cup to your lips, taking a sip of your coffee.

You were silently thanking every god out there for letting you both find this cafe that was still open, especially at this late hour.  

“Yeah, but they both left even before we bailed on them,” Tom pointed out as he quickly scanned the area for an open table. “If anything, they bailed on us.” 

He found an empty table near the fireplace, gladly following him. “Maybe they thought we were boring?” You suggested.

“Darling, please,” Tom sighed “Tom Holland is never boring.” He grinned.

“Yeah, because Tom Holland is a giant dick.” You shot back.

“Correction,” He held his forefinger up “Tom Holland has a giant dick.” 

You rolled your eyes and said, “You are disgusting.” Tom just smirked at you in response.  

You and Tom spent so much time studying here. It even got to the point that you had to spend your birthday, studying at a cafe.

“Happy birthday, darling” Tom hummed as he sat the plate down on top of your growing tower of psych books. 

“Tom,” you groaned, all of a sudden feeling shy. “I told you that I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday especially since I have a huge midterm tomorrow.” 

It’s not that you hated birthdays, you actually like birthdays. You like giving meaningful presents, writing cards and going the extra mile. You like every aspect of it. You just didn’t like celebrating yours. Birthdays eventually lost its meaning to you since it didn’t hold that much value as it did when you were younger. 

For you, it was just another day.

“Oh c’mon, y/n,” He pouted “I kept my promise and even gave you a shitty birthday card like you insisted. The day’s almost coming to an end, we have got to at least acknowledge it somehow.” Tom placed a single candle on the slice of chocolate cake that was currently sitting on top of your notes.

After carefully lighting up the candle, Tom pushed the cake towards you and said: “Make a wish, darling.” 

“This is stupid.” 

“It’s your birthday and I don’t want to hear another word. Now close your eyes and make a wish.” He demanded. 

You rolled your eyes playfully but proceeded to close your eyes anyway. You racked your brain for anything, actually considering of making a wish. 

Once you opened your eyes and saw that gorgeous smile that was plastered all over Tom’s face, you suddenly felt selfish for wishing such a thing. 

“So,” You raised an eyebrow at him. “What did you wish for?” He asked inquisitively.

“I’m not telling or else it wouldn’t come true.” You proclaimed with a teasing smile hanging off your lips. But really, all you wished was for this to last longer. 

You loved that you had someone like Tom and you know it was entirely selfish to wish that you could keep him in your life. Yet you couldn’t help it. 

You and Tom were also here when he needed someone to hold on to, as he found out that his grandma died. 

You told Tom that you’re going to be there for him, no matter what happens. 

But Tom needed to be with himself for a short while, and you granted him that. You gave him time and space in order for him to grieve. 

So when he texted you saying “let’s meet at our usual place,” You were already grabbing your keys and your wallet, ready to walk out of the door. 

The cafe was quieter than usual because of the nonstop-pouring rain. You quickly ordered a small latte before spotting Tom, slumped over one of the booths. 

You quietly slid next to him, waiting for Tom to say something. But he didn’t. He just took a quick glance at you before tilting his head back, though this time, he sat properly. 

Not long, he moved closer to you and left absolutely no space between the two of you. He returned to his slouching position and rested his head over your shoulder. He then reached for your hand, always finding comfort with how intensely warm your hands were against his.

With fingers interlocked with yours, he spoke quietly “When you leave, you’d say goodbye, right?” 

For someone who found love and comfort with the constant flow of words, it was ironic when you found yourself lost for it. 

“Yeah,” you managed to breathe out. “But I would never leave you, Tom. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.” 

“I hope you don’t” He replied. “because I wouldn’t know what to do if you did.” 

There were two promises that were made that day: You’d never leave and You’d say goodbye when you leave. You knew you broke a promise, but your pride wouldn’t let you admit that to yourself.

Alyssa knew that you and Tom spent most of your time here since she was mostly working whenever you both drop by. You snapped herself back to reality but found yourself in oblivion as you tried to find words in reply.

Alyssa seemed to pick up the tension that you were in and she immediately took all of it back and said her sorries. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I was just curious about what happened between the two of you. I was so used to seeing you both together and-”

“It’s fine, Al. If I’m being honest, I don’t know what happened either.” You replied, a sad smile playing upon your lips. “I guess some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry.” Alyssa apologized profusely.

“It’s alright, Aly.” You reassured Alyssa before grabbing your pie and coffee “Thanks for the coffee.” 

You went back to your table. You were in a small booth near the bookshelves and the fireplace. It was also pressed against the glass window from where you can see the people passing by. This used to be your table. 

You took a sip from your coffee and placed your attention back to the blank page that was staring right back at you. You recognized this feeling way too much; the peculiar feeling within you and writing.

You hated it. You hated this. You thought it was foolish of you to assume that everything was okay, that you were okay.

So you shut your laptop off, and instead pulled out your journal and pen. 

When you feel like your thoughts are getting the best of you, you focus on one thing and just write about it. 

You thought about your drive here: How many red lights did you encounter, how long it took you to drive here, how you saw that one dog owner who nearly lost their dog as the leash slipped off their hands. 

Scribbling made you feel that you were finally at one with your thoughts and drowned everything around you. You drowned the sounds of the coffee machine, the faint music playing from the speakers of the cafe, and the soft chattering of the people in the background.

Tom entered the cafe for the first time in two years, along with his best mate, Harrison. Tom didn’t know why, but he avoided this cafe at all costs. So it came as a wonder when Alyssa saw Tom prancing across the counter.

“Oh, hi Tom! Fancy seeing you here.” Alyssa greeted.

Tom was caught off guard when he realized that it was Alyssa who was at the till. “Uh, hi Aly! How are 'ya?”

“I’m well, you?”

“I’m fine,” Tom answered politely. Harrison just gave Alyssa a polite smile. 

Tom hardly dragged Harrison to a cafe, this one especially. They have been friends for as long as they can remember but it was just never their thing. Sure they usually grab coffee together but never here since they all knew this was both of Y/N and Tom’s thing.

You, Tom, and Harrison were all friends. You all grew up together, went to the same school together, and hung out all the time. You and Tom just happened to spend a lot more time together so you two were a lot closer. 

It wasn’t a big deal for Harrison though, he liked you two together. He never felt out place whenever you three are all hanging out because you’re all equally whack whenever you’re all together. 

However, he definitely took pleasure in pestering the two of you with the question: “Have you two finally moved to the “boning each other” stage yet?” 

It earned a handful of smacks from the two of you. Haz found no pleasure in that area just so everyone was clear. 

Harrison definitely wondered what happened between the two of you. He expected that you two should’ve been dating now but something happened and all of a sudden, everything changed. 

He tried asking Tom about it but he would always just dodge the question and then would move on to something else.

He also tried to ask you about it but you always gave the same answer, “Maybe life intended it to be this way.” 

Haz tried stopped asking after that.

“Fancy anything, mate?” Tom asked Harrison.

“I’ll just have a large vanilla iced coffee, thanks,” Harrison answered.

Alyssa nodded as she attentively entered his order at the till. She then turned her attention to Tom and asked for his order.

Tom scanned his eyes over the menu. Nothing really changed much, except for the seasonal drinks that usually come and go throughout the year.

“Iced coffee with extra cream and no sweetener?” Aly asked Tom. 

Tom became flustered, not knowing that Alyssa still remembers his order.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks.” Tom said, watching Aly in astonishment. “I’m surprised you still remember.”

“Yeah, well, you and y/n were regulars.” She replied absentmindedly. Alyssa then realized what just came out from her mouth and quickly apologized.

Tom brushed it off quickly, saying it wasn’t really a big deal. Tom instructed Haz to look for an empty table as he paid for their coffee. While waiting for their order to get made, Tom suddenly heard the familiar line from their favourite song. Well, what used to be their favourite song.

“I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you.”  

You had this odd feeling wrapped around you. You felt uneasy and wanted to leave the cafe immediately. So you gathered your things and slung your backpack on your right shoulder while you held your coffee on with your left hand. 

While you were making your way towards the door, you heard the line from the song that brought too many memories and stopped dead from your tracks. 

This song brought that very specific memory that still crushed your heart into tiny little pieces. 

“Hey, I’m sorry I couldn’t take you to the dance.” Tom apologized as he handed you the dripping plate. You wiped and neatly put them back in the cupboard.

“It’s not a big deal, Tom.” You replied as you continued mindlessly wiping the dishware.

You were in your third year in university and the student org was throwing a huge winter ball. Considering you were part of the org, your attendance was mandatory.

It wasn’t until the morning of the dance that Tom had to cancel on you. He had to take a late shift at the bookstore since his coworker called in sick. Tom hasn’t stopped apologizing since.

“It is a big deal!” He exclaimed, “You already bought a dress and everything! I know because Harrison was complaining about how you’ve managed to drag him across the mall, by the way.”

“That little snitch,” You grumbled, “remind me to smack him next time, yeah?”

Tom chuckled as he turned off the faucet and watched you finish clearing the stack of plates.

“You shouldn’t have to skip the dance for me you know?” He said softly.

“I know, but I wasn’t going to the dance both dateless and miserable.” You replied. “You know I only come to these things because you were always there to make it insufferable.”

You didn’t really mind as you were not entirely thrilled to go to the dance anyway. You can always just return the dress and get your money back. You also wouldn’t have to spend at least 3 hours of getting ready. The whole process of getting ready was exhausting enough for you, but as if every god heard your prayers, you had a reason to ditch the dance. 

If anything, this situation was a total win for you.

Of course, you had to make up an excuse for ditching. Saying that you “had to take care of your little sibling at the last minute and none of the sitters could pull through.”

“Oh, what would you do without me?” Tom sighed dramatically as he pulled you close to him and wrapped his arms around your waist.

You rolled your eyes playfully before you looked up at him, “Don’t flatter yourself too much, Holland. Your head can’t possibly fit that big ego inside ‘ya.” You said as you softly patted his cheek and broke out of his touch.

“Take me back to the night we met.”

Tom shook the whole feeling off when he heard Ally yell their orders. Not forgetting to thank her, he grabbed the coffee as soon as possible and whisked his way to find Harrison.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, haunted by the ghost of you.” 

“C’mon, darling.” Tom reached for your hand as he stood up and gave you that heart-melting smile he always carried with him. 

“Tom, what are you doing?” You asked with a bemused smile but went along with it anyway. 

You and Tom just finished watching the first Harry Potter film. Since you weren’t going to the dance anyway, you two opted for a movie marathon instead while your little sibling was sleeping soundly upstairs. 

The excuse wasn’t a total lie. 

“Don’t say I never do things for you.” He joked as he grabbed the throw blanket and tied it around your waist. 

“And what exactly are you trying to do?” You teased. 

“Shut up.” He mumbled and connected his phone through the speakers, careful with maxing up the volume. 

As the soft melody slowly filled the room, he held his hand out in front of you and said, “Y/N, may I have this dance?” 

You playfully rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop smiling at the whole gesture. You took his hand briefly and soon enough, you had your arms wrapped around his torso while his arms were wrapped around your waist. 

With your face slightly buried against his chest, as you two slowly moved through the song, you softly mumbled: “I like this song.”

Tom chuckled softly. “Yeah, I like it too. Wanna know where I found it?” 

“Where?”

“On Harrison’s Spotify playlist. The name of the playlist was ‘when the time finally comes.’“ Tom answered. 

“Oh, that’s cute.” You commented. 

“That’s not even the ringer. Wanna know what the description of it said?” 

“Shoot.” 

“The description said, ‘for my two best mates who are blind enough to see how much they’re attracted to each other. you know who you are.’“

You wriggled yourself back to reality and quietly whispered to yourself that you are not going to do it now, and not in this place. 

With your head down, you brisked up your way towards the door and accidentally bumped shoulders with someone.

As you looked up to apologize to the person you accidentally bumped into, you just wished you didn’t. 

Because then, you were staring into a familiar pair of eyes and it took the colour out of the both of you.

“Take me back to the night we met.”  

“Y/N,” Tom breathed out, completely astounded at the sight of his best friend- ex-best friend, standing in front of him.

You were equally shaken on the inside and felt like you stared at him for the longest of time. He looked older. He was definitely not the same boyish-Tom that you last saw. He had his hair swept back, making it impossible not to stare at his annoyingly perfect face. You also noticed that he was wearing glasses and you couldn’t help but wonder if he actually has prescriptions now or is he still wearing them for his fashion statement. 

At that moment, you felt your heart clench a little. You miss the feeling you get whenever you’re around him. You miss Tom. 

But things change, and people change. 

When you found out that your work entails you to live at an entirely different continent for a year, you felt like you were thrown with a bucket of cold water. 

You didn’t have the heart to tell Tom, but you had to. You owe him that. 

“Hey darling,” He greeted through the phone. You can sense the smile on his face and that is enough to form tears in your eyes. 

“Hey Tommy,” Your voice was strained, as you were fighting back your tears. “Listen, remember when I told you about the writing gig I had been obsessing on for months now?” 

“Yeah, what about it?” He asked, “Are you okay, y/n? You sound like you’re-”

“-crying, I know. It’s just I’m so excited you know? Can you believe they’re flying me to New York?!” At this point, you didn’t hold back. Tears were streaming down your face and you were praying to make the pain go away.

Tom was silent for a while before he finally mutters, “New York?”

“Mhm.” You hummed in agreement, holding back your sobs. “Apparently, they want me to settle in as soon as possible so my flight is booked for tomorrow.” 

“Is this your way of saying goodbye?” 

“No.” You answered almost instantly. “I have the whole afternoon to kill so maybe we can grab breakfast together? Spend a couple of hours together before Harrison joins us for lunch.” 

“Yeah, sounds good,” Tom said quietly. 

“Okay. Bye, Tommy.” 

“Bye.” 

Tom didn’t show up for breakfast. You tried texting and calling him but, he didn’t answer. You figured maybe he slept in and would be joining you and Harrison for lunch instead, but you were wrong. He didn’t show up at all. 

You were trying to keep a tight smile, at least for Harrison, but he knew. Harrison knew what you were feeling and instead just offered a shoulder for you to lean on as you waited for your flight to board. 

You didn’t want to leave but you weren’t also going to put your future in jeopardy. It was an opportunity you couldn’t just simply pass up, especially not for someone who didn’t understand what it meant to you.

“Tom.” You barely said his name, as if it was going to burn your lips with acid as soon as it left from your mouth. 

No one said another word after that.

Though you can hear the small chatter from the people inside the coffee shop, there was a deafening silence between the both of you.

The uncertain feeling crawled up on your skin and no matter how you shrugged it off, it wouldn’t leave you alone. Boy, it drove you mad. Mad at how he can just stand in front of you, with a sad look in his eyes, as if all of it was your fault. Mad at how quickly you can melt and probably forgive Tom on the spot if he asked so easily.

Tom didn’t have any right to feel sorry, yet you felt like he did.

[cherrybracelets]

why [s. harrington x henderson!reader]

song inspo | steve playlist | masterlist

word count: 3.7k / warnings: none really, mostly fluff, alcohol mention

an: hi guys!!! i kinda went off on this one oops!!! please check out my masterlist for more fics if you like this one, and i always appreciate feedback and a reblog! ❤️

“God, Dustin, if you don’t get out of that bathroom in the next five minutes I’m literally going to kill you!” You screamed, slamming your fists on the wooden door for the thousandth time this morning.

“Relax, (Y/N), I’m almost finished! God you’re so annoying!” Your little brother, Dustin, yelled back. You groaned loudly and stomped back to your room, desperately needing to finish blow drying your hair before the party.

You heard the bathroom door open, and Dustin walking over to your room. He popped in your doorway with a devilish grin, his hair slicked back with hairspray.

“Bathrooms all yours, sis. Make sure you wear that one red lipstick, I think Steve will love it,” Dustin said, winking at you.

“Ew, Dustin. How many times do I have to tell you, me and Steve will never happen. Get over it. We’ve hated each other since middle school, and that’s not gonna change!” You stood up quickly and stomped to the bathroom, Dustin following behind you, frowning.

“C’mon! Give him a chance, (Y/N)! He’s a good kid!” Dustin has been pleading for you and Steve to date since the first time they fought Dart together. Dustin saw Steve as an older brother, and if you two ended up together, Steve would literally be his brother (in law). That was Dustin’s dream- and he reminded you of it every day.

“Jesus, you are so annoying. Why don’t you just shut up and make sure you have Wills’s gift ready!” You slammed the bathroom door in Dustin’s face, making sure to lock it so he wouldn’t barge in. You took a few deep breaths, trying to ground yourself from screaming out of frustration. You plugged your hair dryer on and began styling your hair, using the noise of the machine to drown out your frustration.

You had never really liked Steve, but it became especially frustrating when he decided to informally adopt your brother. Dustin thought the kid was a god, and that did not help Steve’s already overbearing confidence. You understood that Dustin only had you and his mom, and he needed a male role model, but you wished it was anyone but him.

You and Steve had a long- and very negative- history. You guys used to be friends, way back in the day, when life was simple. But that all came to a firey halt in seventh grade. You had a huge crush on one of Steve’s friends, Tommy, and you made the mistake of spilling that to Steve.

Steve took it upon himself to tell Tommy, and they apparently though it was hilarious. You hadn’t really developed yet, so you weren’t as ‘pretty’ as the other girls in your grade. Even though, let’s face it, it was seventh grade, and no one was attractive. But your self confidence was especially low, so when Steve apparently dared Tommy to fake ask you out in front of the whole school- you were crushed. And rightfully, you have never forgiven him.

It haunted you all the way up until you graduated. People never seemed to forget, and every one in a while you’d get reminded of the most humiliating day of your life. And it was even worse having to see the man who orchestrated the event around all the time. You never told Dustin about it, because you knew he looked up to Steve, and you didn’t want to take that away from him. But it was hard when you constantly had to hear how amazing he was.

You were feeling yourself get worked up just thinking about it, your breathing get quicker and your cheeks getting hot with stress. You tried to shake the memory out of your head, tousling your curls as you moved. You put a light lipstick on, double checked yourself in the mirror, and headed out of the bathroom. Dustin was waiting eagerly with a poorly wrapped gift in his bedroom.

“I got Will this super cool new edition of D&D! He’s gonna freak,” Dustin said excitedly, hoping up from his bed and following you down the stairs.

“Super happy for you nerds,” you groaned, grabbing your purse from the kitchen counter and rustling around for you keys.

“You’re gonna regret being so mean to me one day when I’m super rich.” Dustin raised his eyebrows at you, and you just rolled your eyes, walking out the front door to your car.

“You’re gonna regret being such a brat when I sacrifice you to the demodogs,” you said, laughing as you unlocked your car.

“That is not funny! Don’t joke about that!”

“Oh, relax Dustin, don’t go crying to Steve about it.” You hopped into your drivers seat and waited for Dustin to get buckled up before starting your car. He was excitedly fiddling with the bow on his gift, hoping that no one else got Will the same gift.

“I still don’t understand why you hate Steve so much, anyways,” Dustin mumbled, leaning his head against your car window.

“I’ve told you a million times, we just have a history, okay. It’s none of your business,” you snapped, raising your voice at him. “Besides, I’m going on another date with Andrew this weekend.”

“Ughhhhh,” Dustin groaned, rolling his eyes obnoxiously. “That guy is seriously the worst, (Y/N). He is super boring, his hair sucks, and he doesn’t know anything about the upside down. You can’t actually date a guy who doesn’t know what you’ve seen!”

“I don’t care about his hair, Dustin! That’s not a priority to me!”

“Well, it should be, okay? I don’t want my nieces and nephews having dweeb hair.”

“Don’t talk about my future children like that, idiot.” You punched Dustin lightly on the shoulder, and he screamed loudly, clearly faking pain to try and get on your nerves. You just pushed him again, and continued driving to Wills. The rest of your drive was spent listening to Dustin tell you about the new rules of his game, and you trying your best to pretend you were interested.

When you finally got to Wills, you recognized Steve’s car and instantly felt nauseous. You really did not want to spend time with him, but you also knew Joyce was excited to see you today, and you couldn’t let her down. You parked your car grudgingly and took a few moments before getting out. Dustin had already ran inside to his friends, showing off his wrapped gift.

You walked into the house quietly, not wanting to distract anyone from the birthday celebrations. Joyce ran to you, excitement on her face, and greeted you with a warm hug.

“(Y/N)! It’s so good to see you, you look beautiful,” she said, cupping your face in her hands and looking at your outfit.

“Sorry we’re late, Dustin is a brat and takes forever to get ready,” you responded, rolling your eyes and giggling a bit.

“There’s drinks and food in the kitchen, help yourself. Everyone else is scattered around somewhere, I’m sure you’ll find them!” She kissed you on the cheek before walking away and finding her son. You walked over to the kitchen, hoping to get a few seconds of peace and quiet. To your disdain, you were greeted by Steve, standing alone and pouring himself a drink.

“Hey, sorry if I’m in your way,” he mumbled, moving from the counter and spilling his drink on himself a bit.

“It’s fine, I’m just gonna grab a beer and go say hi to the kids, anyways,” you responded, pulling a cold bottle out of a cooler. You tried to twist it, but couldn’t manage to get the cap off.

“Can I help?” Steve asked, reaching out to take the bottle from you. You handed it to him without saying a word, and he took the bottle to his lips and bit the cap off with his teeth.

“Jesus,” you cringed, the thought of that against your teeth making you shiver.

“Little party trick I learned back in high school, I forgot some people get freaked out by it,” he laughed, handing you the bottle. You took a big swig, realizing Steve’s lips had just touched the mouth of your bottle. The thought made you a little uncomfortable, thinking about his lips on yours. He did have beautiful lips though, soft and pillowy. And he was always wearing this vanilla chapstick- you figured he kisses would taste like a milkshake.

Why the fuck are you thinking about kissing Steve? God, Dustin has really got in your head. You thanked Steve and walked out of the kitchen before your brain could dive any deeper into those thoughts.

The living room was packed with all the kids, eating chips and drinking soda. They were laughing over something Mike had said, and you smiled at Dustin, seeing him so happy made you warm inside. He had been through a lot- they all had- but seeing them all here, laughing and playing like kids are supposed to do, it made you feel good.

“(Y/N)!” Max yelled, running up to you and giving you a tight hug. El quickly followed her and hugged you as well.

“You two look absolutely gorgeous- new outfits?” You asked, tugging a bit on Max’s new shirt.

“We went to the mall this weekend!” El responded, putting her hands on her hips and posing for you. You laughed at the two girls, happy to see them enjoying things. You had felt a need to protect them, especially, knowing how hard it is for girls at that age.

“Could you teach me how to curl my hair later?” El asked, running her hand through your soft curls.

“Of course, lady. I think you’d look gorgeous!”

Mike had yelled at them to come see something, and they said they’d talk to you later, before running off back to their friends. Nancy and Jonathan were hanging on the couch, watching Will and the kids having the times of their life. You sat down next to her, making small talk with them for a few minutes before Joyce walked into the room.

“Alright, I have to run up to town and pick up the pizzas. Are you guys all good here for a bit?” She asked, keys in hand. She looked at you and Nancy, a look that said ‘If anything happens, I’m blaming you two, since you’re clearly the most responsible ones here besides myself.’

“We’ll take care of them, Joyce. No worries,” you responded, smiling kindly at her, letting her know you wouldn’t let anything happen to anyone. She smiled back, and headed out the door.

“Alright, now the real party starts!” Lucas yelled the minute Joyce closed and locked the door.

“Woah- woah. What are you talking about?” Nancy asked, standing up quickly and putting on her mom voice.

“Oh relax, Nance. Just a friendly game of truth or dare,” Mike responded, raising his eyebrows at the group around you. “And you all have to play, too,” he said, looking at you, Nancy, Jonathan, and Steve, who was now standing behind you.

“No, no. We’re just here to supervise, we’re not playing any games,” Jonathan responded in a stern voice.

“Please!! It’s my birthday!” Will whined, making a fake pouty face to try and get you all to feel bad for him.

“What’s the harm, right? They’re just kids,” Nancy said, putting a hand on Jonathan’s shoulder.

“You shouldn’t trust any of them- they’re evil geniuses. One of them even has super powers!” Steve said jokingly, eyeing El and making her laugh.

“Fine, we’ll play for a bit, but everything stays PG, got it?” You said, crossing your arms and the group and raising your eyebrows. They all nodded in agreement, smiling at each other, happy that you all agreed.

“Okay, first things first, everyone write your name down on a piece of paper and put it in this bowl,” Lucas instructed, pointing to a small blue bowl that was sitting in the center of the coffee table. You all did as you were told, passing around a pen and notepad until every name had been put in the bowl.

“Then, we’ll go around in a circle and pick a name, so it’s not biased. The person you picked gets to give you your truth or dare,” Mike quickly said, shaking the blue bowl around with his hand.

“Sounds easy enough,” Jonathan answered, sitting forward in the couch.

“And once everyone goes, you put the names back in the bowl and start again!”

Everyone nodded in understanding, the older group just wanting to get this over with. You sighed loudly, waiting for someone to start. Steve came and sat next to you, his knee slightly touching yours and you all squished on the couch together. You felt a heat growing as his skin touched yours, wanting so desperately to move away, but feeling physically unable too.

“I’ll start!” Max said, happily, pulling a name out of the hat. She giggled a little when she read the name of the piece of paper. “Lucas!”

“Alright, truth or dare?” He asked, jokingly making faces at her and making her laugh.

“Dare, obviously!”

“Alright...” he said, thinking intently on what to do. He looked over to the kitchen and smiled devilishly. “I dare you to eat a spoonful of mustard!”

“You know I hate mustard, you ass hole!” She crossed her arms and pouted at him.

“Exactly. And you have to do it- a dares a dare!” Lucas looked around for approval from the other guys, who were all nodding in agreement.

“Fine!” She responded angrily, standing up and walking towards the kitchen. She came back a few moments later with a spoon piled high with mustard. The though even made you a little queasy. She looked at Lucas with a smile, before shoving the spoon in her mouth and swallowing.

“Ewwww!” The kids all said in unison, looking away from her as she did it.

“Oh god, it’s so gross. Someone get me water!” She yelled, reaching out around her for a drink. Steve handed her his water bottle, and she chugged it with a disgusted look her face. The kids were laughing in hysterics as she struggled to get the taste out of her mouth.

“You guys are evil!” Steve said, laughing as he shook his head in shock.

“God, I am so going to get you back for that, Sinclair,” Max said, her face still scrunched in disgust.

“Steve, your turn,” Mike said, pushing the bowl towards him.

“Oh god. I am not letting any of you little shits make me eat anything gross, got it? I’m an adult!” He said, pulling a piece of paper out of the bowl. He looked at it and groaned, rolling his eyes. “I’m in for it now. I picked Dustin.”

“Hell yeah!” Dustin said, excitement glowing on his face.

“I’m picking truth, because I especially do not trust you, Henderson!” Steve laughed, sitting back and crossing his arms.

“Oh come on! Don’t be a pussy! It’s Wills birthday, have a little fun for his sake. Pick dare!” Dustin looked at Steve seriously, widening his eyes at him. Steve sighed and shook his head.

“Alright, fine. But be real careful with what you say next, kid,” he laughed.

“Easy. Seven minutes in heaven- you and my sister.”

You looked at Dustin, shock and embarrassment running through you. You felt your cheeks heat up, you knew you were turning a bright red. You looked over at Steve, who was also clearly uncomfortable.

“Absolutely not, we said to keep it PG!” You yelled, crossing your arms and shaking your head at Dustin.

“Yeah, for us! You guys are adults! Don’t act like you haven’t kissed before!” Dustin said back.

“I am not kissing Steve!” You yelled, floored with embarrassment.

“A dare is a dare!” El said, shrugging at you. You looked at her, disappointed that she wasn’t on your side.

“Cmon, lets just do it to please the kids. It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Steve whispered to you, the scent of vanilla chapstick flooding your senses.

“Fine. Dustin, I hope you know I am going to murder you later,” you said, standing up and walking down the hall to the bathroom. Steve followed suit, and you heard the kids giggling as the two of you went off to ‘Heaven’.

Steve came into the bathroom behind you, shutting the door as he did so. You wouldn’t look at him at first, too embarrassed to make eye contact. Finally, he put a hand on your shoulder, causing you to jump a little in shock.

“Sorry, just wanted to make sure you’re okay, you seem upset,” Steve said, quickly removing his hand.

“I am. This is ridiculous. I can’t go a day without Dustin shoving the idea of me and you together down my throat,” you muttered, sitting down on the sink counter and crossing your arms.

“I’m sorry. I know it sucks, but he’s just a kid. He doesn’t mean anything by it,” Steve said, pushing his hair out of his face.

“I know, but he doesn’t know about everything that happened between us, and I don’t want him to hate you so I won’t tell him.”

“What happened between us?” Steve asked, laughing a bit awkwardly. He looked genuinely confused, which offended you, because that meant he didn’t remember what he did.

“Are you serious? Seventh grade, you telling Tommy to ask me out in lunch as a joke? That ruined my whole life, Steve.”

“Woah, woah, woah. I didn’t tell Tommy to do anything like that. I didn’t even know about it until it was happening!” Steve responded, clearly upset about the accusations you were making.

“What do you mean Steve? Don’t lie to me! Mark told me it was all your idea!” You pouted at Steve, confused and upset, feeling yourself tearing up as you were recalling the event.

“Mark is a lying sack of shit, (Y/N)! He told you that to save his own ass! It was all him and Tommy- I swear to God!” Steve was defensive, pacing up and down the bathroom in frustration.

“But I told you about having a crush on Tommy, not Mark!”

“Okay, that part was my fault. The thing is, I sort of had a crush on you back then, and Mark knew... but when you told me about Tommy, I got upset and told Mark... but I swear, if I knew he was planning that I would’ve never told him! I didn’t mean to hurt you!” Steve was upset, his face red and his eyes watery as he pleaded for you to believe him.

“You really had a crush on me?” You asked, completely blown away by the fact that he even noticed you back then.

“I kind of always have... I always tried to talk to you in high school but you never gave me the time of day. Now I know why,” he said, sounding defeated and broken. He sat down on the edge of the bathtub, shaking his head and staring at the floor.

“Honestly, Steve... I had no idea. I thought... all this time...” you looked at the man sitting in front of you, falling apart in front of you. You sat down next to him, putting a hand on his, trying to comfort him.

“I’m so sorry... I never meant to hurt you... you didn’t deserve that...” Steve mumbled.

“I’m sorry too, I just believed him and I never let you explain... I’ve been such an ass to you for years for something that wasn’t even your fault!” You started laughing, an uncontrollable giggle that was just rolling through you. For years you had pushed away a sweet, funny, and handsome guy for a lie someone told you when you were 13. Unbelievable.

“Why are you laughing?” Steve said, also starting to laugh himself.

“Because, I just can’t believe this. And it took a dumb game of truth or dare to find this out... I’m just shocked, I guess.” You stood up, wiping tears from your face as you continued to giggle. Steve stood up too, quickly wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you towards him. He kissed you, the kind of kiss that he had been waiting for all his life. A kiss that you felt everywhere in your body, his lips moving intricately with yours. And you were right, kissing him was like tasting a vanilla milkshake.

Steve’s hands were locked on your waist, pulling your body closer to him every second. You had wrapped your hands in his hair, the soft locks melting through your fingers. He finally let go of your waist and his hands trailed down to your butt, squeezing slightly. You giggled a bit at his touch, and felt him smile through your kisses.

“Times up- OH SHIT!” You heard your brother yell after he swung open the door. You and Steve quickly jumped away from each other and stared at Dustin. “IT WORKED!” He yelled, running down the hallway to the living room.

“Dustin!” You yelled, running after him. Steve followed close behind.

“They kissed! It worked!” He exclaimed to the group, a proud toothless smile plastered across his young face.

“Finally!” Max said, shaking her head and laughing.

“Was this.... did you guys do all of this just to get me and Steve to talk?” You asked in shock.

“You little shits are unbelievable!” Steve yelled, hands on his hips.

“It worked though... didn’t it? You like her, she likes you... I was right!” Dustin was ecstatic, and you felt yourself blushing again as you looked over to Steve.

“I mean... I guess I do kinda like you...” You avoided his eyes, but he took your hand in his and smiled at you.

“Yeah, I kinda like you, too.” He squeezed your hand tightly, his smile making you melt, thinking about kissing him again.

“But you’re still dead, Dusty, you understand that? I’m going to kill you for real this time!” You laughed, ruffling Dustin’s hair and shaking your head at the kids. As much as Dustin annoyed you, he really did want you to be happy. And he was right on this one.

[kiwispideys]

Puddles (Peter Parker X Reader)

 A/N: Hi all! I hope you all are having a great day! Sorry I haven’t written in so long, as I get older I have more school-work, exams and other priorities over writing. I’ve had all my main exams this month and my holidays are coming soon so I’ll hopefully have more time and inspo to write.

note: REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

I DON’T DO SMUT!!! IF YOU’RE NOT SURE OF A CELEB / FANDOM JUST ASK ;)

Summary: In an alternate universe, maybe it was supposed to work...

Peter was late. He was always late, but this time he had an exam that started 15minutes ago. He could already tell it was going to be a bad day today. He'd already stopped 5 guys on his morning patrol, he'd forgotten his lunch, it was pouring with rain in Queens. And even worse, it was the anniversary of your death.

He'd almost made it to school when he tripped just before a puddle and fell in it. Only, he didn't hit the ground... He fell straight through it.

He heard a faint, "Catch him!" before he passed out again.

Peter awoke to a soft surface underneath him and a lot of loud talking around him. Although he figured his spidey-sense made it louder than it really was. It also told him no danger was around but he figured he'd stay still until he knew whether it was completely safe to get up. There were a lot of people in the room, and they were arguing over something.

"He's supposed to be dead here. What are we going to do about it and get him back to his reality." A deep yet familiar voice spoke.

My reality? Peter thought.

"Should we let dumbass over here figure that one out? She was the one who got him here." Another male voice scoffed, it was Sam. Although everything in the room was too loud for him to concentrate.

"It wasn’t even my idea in the first place, it was yours, Sam. I know it’s been a year but none of us know my capabilities since last time.” A female voice spoke. Hearing it in normal conversation for the first time in what felt like forever was amazing, but was he dead? Maybe he'd been really badly drugged up and this was all in his head. After all, you were dead. 

"Guys, he’s stable again." Peter recognised this voice as well now, it was Dr Banner. He took this as his cue to sit up and slowly opened his eyes. As his eyes got used to the bright lights, he could see you clear as day. 

You seemed to acknowledge this as you said, “I’m leaving now.” as you turned to leave.

Sam grabbed your arm. “No, you’re not.”

You scowled at him and went to say something but Sam interrupted you.

“He’ll listen to you.” He said. “You know that.”

“He’s right Y/N, I know it’s hard for you to see him again but it’s hard for him too. Remember you’re both dead and without powers in each other's universes.” Bruce explained.

“So there is a multiverse?” Peter asked sitting up.

You looked at him in a way he’d seen many times before. All you wanted to do was break down, and all he wanted to do was give you a big hug and let you cry on his shoulder. But instead, you sighed and nodded. “Yeah Peter, there is a multi-verse.”

So after a long conversation between you and Peter, he understood the multiverse a bit more... although you didn’t seem to know that much about it either. That led onto the conversation about each other's powers. Your reaction was quite similar to Aunt May’s and asked a lot of questions like Ned had but quickly understood, which meant you were quite close with his replica. Whereas for him it was harder to understand considering you didn’t know what your official powers were. So instead you just listed what you could do, most of them had something to do with manipulating water but you didn’t know what the effects some of your current actions had. For example the “puddle portals”, as you called them. He suggested falling through one of your puddle portals again but you had no guarantee of what universe he’d go to, so Peter was stuck.

So in order for Peter to take that in, you left him alone... for days. Until one late Friday evening, Peter was laying on his bed of the Avenger’s facility and you silently came in and sat on his bed with your back facing him.

“Are you alright?” Peter asked.

“Can I lay with you?” You said. “Like, only if it’s okay with you... I mean I wouldn’t just have a random idea to just come to cuddle you cause I’m feeling sad cause I miss you even though you’re right here but you’re not right here. But now I kinda regret it cause you probably didn’t even know me in your universe.” You rambled at speeds people who weren’t used to it probably couldn’t understand. But Peter understood every word.

“Y/N.” He spoke clearly, causing you to stop. “It’s okay. I was missing you too.” You gave him a small and shy smile and lay down next to him. He lay his arm around your shoulder as you cuddled into his side and the room went silent again. It wasn’t an awkward silence though, it was a nice silence. It felt normal. The whole situation felt normal.

Although after a while, you broke the silence once more.

“Did you love me? Like your me?” You said quickly.

Peter paused for a moment. Did he love you?

“I think so... I felt like I could be normal around you no matter what. No matter what weird subject it was about whether it be school, Star Wars, Spider-Man stuff,  I always trusted you and felt safe around you. Although you reacted a bit more violently when you found out I was Spider-Man.” He chuckled a little as he recalled the memory. “You screamed and yelled. You even threw some science books at me and hit me a few times. But you soon realised that I was hurt and immediately helped me and apologised afterwards. But I knew the reaction was only because you cared about me and didn’t want me to get hurt.” Peter sighed. “I always wanted you to be happy, even if I wasn’t the cause of it. We were rocky at times, especially cause of the whole Spider-man thing and I also wanted to keep you safe as being with you only put you in danger. But then we broke up and then you did get in danger and...” Peter didn’t finish his sentence as he recalled your death.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, starting to draw small shapes onto his ribs. Something his version of you would do.

“It’s okay, I’ve learned to deal with it better now and I just have to keep reminding myself it wasn’t my fault... even if it does feel like it sometimes.”

“I wish I could do that. But it was literally my fault you died.” You paused for a moment contemplating whether to continue on with the story but did so anyway. “It was a Sunday morning... We were here, at the Avengers facility and  I was overwhelmed from school and the pressure to like be a hero for everyone. I was ranting to you and my powers were slowly building up and you tried to warn me about it as you knew I don’t have very much control over them. Eventually, you yelled at me to get my attention and I snapped.” You paused for a moment as you tried to regain your emotions and wiped the tears from your face. “I never meant to do it. But I blasted you with a whole bunch of water as I turned to face you and it threw you back towards the wall. Due to the heaviness of the blast and the fact that you happened to hit your head on the right angle they had to put you into a coma due to head trauma. You never really recovered despite everything we tried, so May made the decision to pull you off life support and... yeah.”

Peter was silent. He didn’t know what to say, but he just held you and rubbed his hand up and down your arm trying to reassure you.

“Hey, you're going to be crying puddles in a minute if you keep crying.” He joked, causing you to laugh through your sniffles and wipe the tears away once more.

“I made Bruce design this bracelet for me that would make my powers non-existent unless I take it off.” You say showing him. “But obviously it’s not working.”

Peter chuckled a little, causing you to do the same. 

“I think that your Peter would know that you did it on accident, and you did the right thing anyway, taking me off the life support. It probably caused me less pain than being on it anyways.” Peter spoke, trying to reassure you as much as possible.

“Can I hug you? Like I know we’re kinda cuddling right now but you would always hug me when I was upset.” You said, sitting up.

“Yeah sure,” Peter replied, slowly getting up from the bed with you shortly following.

So for the next couple of minutes, the two of you stood in Peter’s room just enjoying each other's presence as you hugged one-another. But after a while, Peter could feel his shirt start to get wet. You were crying into his shoulder.

“You alright?” He asked. You wiggled out of his embrace and gently placed your hands on his chest. You sighed, whatever you were about to say was hard, he could tell.

“Goodbye Pete.” You said, before forcefully pushing Peter away from you. Causing him to fall back into a puddle portal before passing out once more.

[satoruvt]

the color of you - blue (6)

ITS HERE. I HOPE I DID WELL. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT AKDSHKFJSDH

pairing → keigo takami x reader

word count → 3213

summary → you’re not really dating, so you can’t really be in love with him... right?

song inspo → hell of flying by jeremy zucker, cassette by demian, a lil of bugbear by chloe moriondo

this chapter → y/n comes to conclusions, keigo’s a dork, tension, a fight, crying.

part one | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven

So it’s been… strange.

Or rather, it hasn’t been strange at all, which makes everything even more strange, somehow. You feel like things should be so much different, but they’re not. You reached a wild conclusion that threw you for a fucking loop, made you sit in your kitchen at Angel Cakes and contemplate what the hell you were going to do about anything that would ever occur to you from here on out. Sometimes you almost ask Keigo how things haven’t changed at all, since you’ve decided that you like him, but then you have to stop yourself from saying anything because, oh, right, you haven’t told him.

You don’t plan to, either.

It’d just mess everything up, wouldn’t it? To say “hey, I know we’ve been fake dating for like two and a half months now but I’m kind of liking the idea of really dating you”? Kinda fucked. Not to mention, from a professional stance, what if it ruins your guys’ chemistry when you’re being watched by the entire world? If someone finds out that the whole thing is fake - regardless of your feelings - it means Keigo’s public image and your entire life at the bakery. Everything would go to shit, and after it’s burned down, you doubt you’d even have Keigo.

So you’re not telling him. You’re in love with one of your closest friends, who you are also fake dating, who is also the Number Two hero in the country, and you’re not telling him how you feel. Yes. Okay.

You’ve had a lot of time to reflect about your own feelings, because after Keigo left to fight that villain the other day (and after you managed to get off the ground and clean up) you were sure it was a heat-of-the-moment thing. Yeah, he looked pretty, and there was something dreamy and domestic about laughing and throwing baking ingredients at each other, so maybe your heart just got confused. 

But you’d called him to ask if he was okay (instead of a usual text) and he’d picked up the phone and laughed and your heart had not done that before. Not with Keigo, not on the phone, and not like that. And usually his pet names amused you, but he’d called you “sweetheart” over the phone and his voice was tired and drawled a bit. It made you dizzy. You said goodbye pretty soon after that.

You’re barely walking up the stairs of your apartment complex when your phone buzzes in your pocket. Butterflies (and moths, a few) erupt in your stomach when you read the name, and then immediately die when you read the text itself.

keigo baby 🐦

Do u want to have a playdate with me 👉👈 I could come over if ur mom says its okay

Why him? You think to yourself, swallowing the vomit in your throat and fishing your keys out of your bag to unlock your door. You text back when you get inside, throwing your belongings on the nearest surface.

y/n

don’t ever talk to me again

keigo baby 🐦

Is that a yes??

y/n

….fine, but if u ever use those emojis again i’ll break up with u. legally 

keigo baby 🐦

baby no!!!!

You throw your phone down onto your sofa before flopping over it, letting yourself sink into the cushions for a moment. It takes no more than ten minutes for Keigo to be at your door, letting himself in without so much as a knock. You know that it’s technically your doing, since you didn’t lock it when you came in, but you still whine at him about it, and he mocks you jokingly.

It seems he either senses your tiredness or didn’t have anything in mind to do anyways, because all Keigo does is lift your legs up from where they’re sprawled out on the couch and sits down in their place, letting them flop back onto his lap. He adjusts so his wings aren’t smashed against the back of the couch (or, at least, not as much). You move your feet off of his lap.

You’ve come to really appreciate days like this, where you simply bask in his company and he does yours. As much as Keigo is nonchalant about his lifestyle, you know it’s exhausting for him to do what he does every single day, and then to have to talk to people (fans, reporters, anyone). He doesn’t need to say anything for you to know. And, well, if you can give him a moment of comfort -

God, no, stop thinking like that. You can’t afford to think like that right now. 

The two of you talk, occasionally sharing posts from social media and laughing at dumb little cat videos (there was one that was five whole minutes of one of the guys from that k-pop band being compared to cat pictures and it’s the most wholesome thing you’ve ever seen to date). Before you know it, it’s been a few hours, the sun just fully covered by the distant mountains. The sky cools down in purple and blue hues, dressing up for the night to come. You and Keigo are laughing over old vines, and in your mind you think that it really couldn’t be that bad for this to be every night instead of just… some nights.

At the end of the compilation Keigo groans out a lingering laugh, stretching his legs out as best he can without hitting your coffee table. You stand up, feeling the need to move around as well, and walk towards your kitchen for a drink. Keigo stands after you but doesn’t move, letting his wings flex and stretch from being contained for so long. You get a glass of water, lift it to your lips just as Keigo lifts his arms above his head and holy fucking shit, his stomach -

Tummy! the tiny voice in your head squeals, but the hornier one screams at the top of its lungs ABS and honestly you don’t know what the fuck to do and neither does your body so you choke on your water. Keigo startles, eyes wide, and with a mumbled “holy shit” makes his way over to you as you cough and sputter over your sink.

It takes a minute, but you eventually come back, eyes watery and face red for multiple reasons. You take a deep breath and Keigo rubs your back, eyeing you, which only makes the entire situation worse.

“Jesus, are you okay?” He asks, and you nod, but you can’t look at him.

“Yeah, uh,” you clear your throat, blinking a few times. “Just… went down the wrong pipe, I guess.”

Fuck.

-

You barely recover from seeing a sliver of Keigo’s stomach, and the memory haunts you for days. You attempt at willing it out of your brain, try to tell yourself that you just didn’t see it at all, but your heart is strong as hell and refuses to let your head forget it. You think about it multiple times a day. You think about it for at least twenty minutes each time. You think about it until Keigo texts you a little less than a week after it happened.

Your phone buzzes on the counter in the kitchen and you finish up your bread dough, putting it into a bowl gently and setting a timer to let it prove. Once your hands are effectively clean, you open the message, letting yourself scoff.

keigo baby 🐦

Just finished a photoshoot, could really use a donut right now :/

Attached to his message is a picture of himself, and honestly, he looks really fucking good. It takes pretty much everything in you not to collapse and die. God.

You look up a picture of a donut on Google - they sold out today, and you are not going to make one just for Keigo - and send it to him. For my hardworking fake boyfriend, you send with it. Mostly to emphasize fake for both of you. Yourself especially.

keigo baby 🐦

Fake??? :( sweetheart, u hurt me

Your mind stops working when you read his text, so you leave him on read.

-

The next time you see Keigo in person is when you’re contemplating whether or not you should keep… hanging out with him.

The contract only has a little over a month left, so it’s not as if it’d be that hard to deal with… besides, it’d be easier on the both of you when this whole thing inevitably ends. You don’t see yourself being able to be around him without thinking about kissing him over and over. Not now, at least. You hope it changes. You hope it’s a weird phase or something. 

Keigo texts you and invites - demands - you over (his excuse is that with the hero conference coming up soon many of the smaller heroes are taking care of villains and giving him more time off) and honestly, if you’re really gonna try to stop talking to him as much, this could be your goodbye or whatever. Also, he mentioned wine, and you need to get drunk. Like, “give me an entire bottle so I can cope with the idea of falling for you because I know that you don’t feel the same and I am simply trying to ride out the rest of this “relationship” so I don’t ruin our dynamic and chemistry while we’re being watched by literally the entire world” drunk.

Yeah. It’s been a rough few weeks.

Every time you go to Keigo’s apartment it reminds you of just how broke you are, but you suppose the apartment itself is fitting. It’s definitely modern, but it holds the clutter of Keigo’s personality - blankets strung everywhere, LED lights, a poster of Endeavor hung up in his closet (but you’re sworn to secrecy about that, you pinky promised). When you knock on his door he doesn’t answer, and it’s a good minute and a half before you get a text that says “it’s open, come in” and you sigh, because again, why him?

He’s sitting on the couch, and when he sees you he smiles like he didn’t just refuse to open the door because he’s too lazy. “Well, if it isn’t the love of my life,” he says, and for a second you can fool yourself into believing it’s genuine.

“I’m just here for the wine, dude,” you tease, and he mocks offense at your words.

“Ouch. Mid-relationship rejection.”

Nonetheless, Keigo gets the wine himself (selective little shit) and two glasses, pours each of you one. It isn’t long before you’ve had at least three glasses but no more than five, and you’re maybe, perhaps, a little drunk. 

Keigo is, too, so you’re not really alone, but he’s talking about something Endeavor did like he’s the greatest hero in the world. It makes you smile, just a bit, but then again, you’re usually sentimental when you’re drunk, so maybe it’s just that. Or maybe it’s because you like him. It doesn’t really matter now.

“Hey, Kei,” you murmur when he’s done with his story. He hums, takes another sip out of his glass. “What happens when this is over?”

You look at your feet, scrunching up your toes inside your socks so you have something to look at. Then your eyes move up more, to the top of his coffee table, and then finally they land on him, and he looks gorgeous. He always does.

Keigo blinks once, twice, then shrugs, goes back to his wine. “Dunno. I hope we’re still friends, though,” he says.

“Friends? You want to be friends?”

You’re drunk. You should go to sleep, or go home, or something. Talking is not something you should be doing.

“What?” Keigo asks, but more like he didn’t hear you rather than he didn’t understand, so you take your chance, even through your hazed mind.

“Nothing,” you say, swirling the wine in your glass. “Forget about it.”

And it seems like he does, because when you wake up on his couch the next morning with a killer headache and he stumbles out of his room with a groan he doesn’t mention anything about it even when he talks about everything else.

-

Keigo texts you a few days later, a picture of him posing with another wine bottle. 

keigo baby 🐦

round 2??

The picture is cute. He’s smiling, all lips and curves and blonde hair and tan skin. He’s dressed in sweats, you can see, but he still looks like a model. It makes your heart sink and fly at the same time.

y/n

can’t, sorry. have to stay late at angel cakes. i’ll see u at the hero conference tho

He doesn’t text you for a while after that.

-

The conference comes quick, and before you know it you’re in another hotel suite, getting makeup done. It doesn’t take as much dressing up - your dress is shorter this time, less formal, your makeup less extravagant. You don’t feel nervous, not like last time, but you don’t necessarily feel comfortable either. Your makeup artist is different this time.

It takes a considerably less amount of time for you to get ready, and you stare at yourself in the mirror before it’s time to go. Your dress is beautiful - blue, royal, deep and light at the same time and gorgeous. Simple, too, nothing too out there. When you step out of the hotel room you notice Keigo’s still in his hero costume, but you suppose he has to be. You don’t match with him like you did last time.

There’s no banter, no teasing, no compliments. The ride to the venue is quiet. Keigo sends you a look at one point - a “tell me what’s wrong” look - but you only shrug, offer him the best smile you can, which apparently isn’t convincing, because he frowns when he sees it. You wish he wouldn’t frown so much.

The conference is short, but maybe you’re just distracted. An usher walks you to your seat at a VIP table and it seems like you sit down and then it ends. You clap for Keigo, smile like you’re endlessly proud of him - and you are, even if it doesn’t show that well tonight - and watch him make a scene becuase that’s what he does. He winks at you at one point during the night, while he’s talking into the microphone, and you know it’s for the publicity. The conference ends significantly earlier than the awards show, however, so you don’t have to stay in the suite for the night. 

The ride back to the suite seems shorter than the ride to the venue and it takes you maybe twenty minutes to wipe the makeup off of your face and take off your dress. You walk across the hall to Keigo’s room, knock on the door. He answers.

“Okay, I’m gonna head out, I’m feelin’ kinda tired,” you tell him with a small smile. “Just wanted to say bye.”

“Let me walk you home,” he says instead, and your brain yells at you no!

“No, it’s fine, Kei -”

“Please. I want to.”

He’s never said that before, and a part of you knows you wouldn’t be able to say no to him even if he hadn’t, so you nod and let him follow you out of the hotel and to your apartment. The walk is silent and it makes you feel uneasy but you can’t really do anything about it, not with what you’re trying to do, so nothing happens until you reach your apartment.

You know where this is going, even if you don’t want to, so you take a deep breath, hold the door open for him so Keigo can come inside. He looks at you weirdly for a moment but then enters your apartment, standing in the junction of your entryway and living room like he’s uncomfortable. You let him, then walk to the kitchen for something to drink.

“What’s wrong with you?” You ask, eyeing him suspiciously.

Keigo scoffs. “Shouldn’t that be my line?”

You know he noticed - it’s impossible not to, but you didn’t think… you didn’t think he’d call you out on it. Your pause is evident, but you pretend like it didn’t happen at all. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say.

“Yeah? Wanna rethink that, sweetheart?”

The almost-malice in his tone when he says your usual pet name startles you, and when you look up at Keigo it seems like it startled him, too, doe-eyed and looking at you. You shake your head, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room behind him to throw your things down, try to pass the message to him that this is not good. “You’re wrong,” you say.

“I’m not - I’m not wrong, Y/N,” he says, turning around to look at you. “Every time I see you it seems like you’re pushing me away, like you’re not here, and I don’t know if I did something, but I -” he pauses, runs a gloved hand over his face and you want to tell him that it’s not his fault, but that would lead to you telling him everything, and you can’t. “I miss you.”

His voice is broken. When you speak again, your voice sounds like his, but somehow worse. Smaller. “You’re wrong,” you insist. You know he’s not.

“I’m not,” he pushes back. “I’d like to think that in the months we’ve been -”

He stops himself, and you take your opportunity. “That we’ve been what? Dating? We’re not dating, Keigo, we both signed a fucking contract to benefit your public image! This is nothing!”

You have no idea what you’re doing. It’s not nothing. It will never be nothing.

“You think this is nothing?”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that you know for sure we’ll still be friends when this is over.”

He can’t, and he won’t. You’re trying really hard not to cry, but it hurts to fight with him like this, and it hurts that you think you’re falling in love with him, and it hurts that if you tell him it’ll ruin everything and it hurts, so a few tears slip out anyways.

“Y/N,” Keigo says, and his voice is so soft. You want to melt into him, but you shy away when he reaches for you. “Please just tell me -”

“I can’t do this anymore,” you choke out. “I can’t - I’m - I’m calling it. I’ll send my lawyer if you need anything but I just…”

You can’t even look at him. Has he always been so far away?

“Get out, Keigo.”

It sounds so cold, so unfamiliar, coming from your mouth and you half expect another person to have said it entirely. This isn’t you, this isn’t how you and Keigo act, this isn’t… this isn’t it. There’s a pause, like he’s waiting for something, but then you hear him sigh - practically feel him deflate, and then he walks out of your apartment, door shutting quietly behind him.

It’s so quiet when he’s gone.

You take a deep breath, walk back to your bedroom, curl into yourself on the bed, and cry in the blue light of the sky left behind by the sun.

[ren-c-leyn]

Dearest Vengeance

 Continuing to clear out my drafts, finally down to under 350 prompts saved that I’ve always wanted to use but couldn’t find the motivation/inspiration for, so, yay. This one was writing these 1,2,3,4 prompts by @humdrummoloch, these 1,2 by @thependragonwritersguild, these 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 prompts by @givethispromptatry, this prompt by @gingerly-writing, this prompt by @scrawl-your-heart-out, this prompt by @unpromptly, this prompt by @promptsforthestrugglingauthor, this prompt by @write-it-motherfuckers, and last but certainly not least, this prompt by @scandy-inspo.

 So, this piece is most definitely on the darker side of my writing style. A tale of betrayal, revenge, death, and regrets. It’s probably the closest to horror I’ve gotten in a long time, but I don’t know if it actually crosses that line between dark fantasy and horror or not. There are several deaths mentioned. I try to stay away from the gore, but there is definite fight scenes and anticipation of the end bits.

~

 That day... that day had always haunted me. So long ago and so far away. I could still hear it, still hear the laughter and the screams. It never goes away, never fades. I still hear it echoing in my ears, particularly on cold, Spring days, like that one....

“She saved us!” I had shouted.

“She’s a killer!” the commander had replied, raising his hand to give the signal.

“She is our savior and if you wish to do her harm we will stand as obstacles. She may be a killer, but will you damn yourself to that label as well?”

 He looked me in the eye.

 “This is what must be done, by order of the princess.”

 His hand came down as he stared me down. I tried to jump forward but two others held me back while the rest of the party closed in on her like rabid wolves. To her credit, she fought as well as any other I had ever seen, weaving magic and blades together... but there were too many. Far too many.

“What have we become?” I had asked in a breathless whisper, staring down upon the bloodied remains of our former comrade.

“Who cares? Grab the loot and let’s go,” one of the cowards had replied, joy in his voice.

 Turned on my heel, practically snarling like a wild animal.

 “It amazes me sometimes how low you are willing to sink.”

 “I got the mission done, didn’t I?! Besides, she was doomed to die, anyways. Leave her to the land, I say.”

 They split her belongings, along with the treasures we had collected along the journey among each other. I took only one thing, her beloved pendant. It’s weight still feels so heavy, so cold, as if I’m carrying the burden of her judgement, of her betrayal, around my neck.

 I rubbed the smooth surface of the crystal, watching the clouds roll by just like the lingering memories when the doors to my quarters were flung open, the heavy oak slamming against the stone walls hard enough I feared it would crack. Spinning on my heels, I confronted the breathless man.

 “What is the meaning of this?!”

 “My apologies, but you have received summons to the war room by her majesty.”

 I growled at that. What I wouldn’t give to walk out of this damnable castle and leave her majesty, the former princess,’s command. But she would not have it. No, I would be hunted down and put to a worse fate than dear Evelyn.So I settled for storming through the halls, watching the servants and guards stumble out of the way before throwing the war room doors open just as roughly as the hapless servant had done to mine.

 Only, it had a far different effect than the outrage I had hoped for.

 Instead I was confronted by paled faces and drawn blades. There was a fear and nervousness that I was unfamiliar with. It dissipated only slightly when they recognized me and put their blades away, but I knew these men and women. I knew them not to fear anything alive, not even their own wickedness, for they were the group that was apart of the expedition that killed her... the monsters that murdered Evelyn. At least, most of them. Two of the faces were missing, but I cared not to see the pair that scored the finishing blow on her.

 “Now that all are present,” the queen spoke, pointedly staring at my former commander, “explain yourself, Richmond. What prompted this gathering?”

 He stared at her with wide and wild eyes, dark bags practically dripping from his eye sockets.

 “I saw her. And I know it was her.”

“Richmond, we can never be sure,” Lucy had begun, but her cut her off.

“You think I’d miss those purple eyes?! Those gleaming eyes....” He trailed off, slumping forward in his chair, resting his forearms on the lavish table to support his trembling form. “She killed them. Evelyn killed James and Sam. Just... just ran them through with her bare hands, those horrible, horrible glowing hands.”

 “You told me you had succeeded,” the queen snarled.

 “We thought we had,” he spoke, barely above a whisper. “She had no heartbeat, drew no breath... some sort of magic, I assume.”

 A frustrated growl escaped her majesty’s lips as she rose from her chair.

 “Then do not fail me again! The sorceress is to be slain, do I make myself clear?”

 He shook his head.

 “We cannot kill something like that.”

 “Refusal is not an option!”

 He looked her in the eyes.

 “Neither is success possible.”

 Everyone else in the room shuffled uncomfortably as he rose from his seat and began to wander towards the door.

 “I did not dismiss you!”

 “With all due respect, your majesty, I don’t give a damn. I’m going to spend my last few days, hours, minutes, the way I wish.”

 With that, he slammed the war room doors closed, only for me to fling them open seconds later. I had to know if it was true, if she lived. And if it was, I had to know where she was.

 I chased him down, trying to catch up with him.

 “Wait!” I shouted. 

 He paused in the abandoned corridor, my own voice and the echoes of our footsteps ringing out. Richmond turned to face me, face drained of all energy and resolve.

 “Where did you see her? Is she truly alive?”

 He opened his mouth to speak, but a third voice answered that stole both the heat in the air and our breaths away.

 “No, not in the traditional sense.”

 And with that, I saw it, a glowing purple hand reaching through Richmond’s chest, like she was grasping for me. He gurgled and sputtered, coughing and wheezing. The hand retreated and he fell to the floor, shivering violently as if he was caught in an ice storm.

 Standing just behind the fallen man was a figure I never thought I’d see again. She looked so familiar, so beautiful, I just wanted to step over the horrid man and hug her, hold her, never let her go... but something was terribly wrong. Her dark purple eyes held no light, frost clung to her lips, the air around her was cold enough to freeze my blood and soul, and the wicked smirk on her face.... No, no this wasn’t her. This was not dear Evelyn.

 “Three down, six to go.”

 And with that, she stepped over the convulsing man, walked right through me, leaving a terrible chill in the very marrow of my bones, and disappeared. I looked around with wide eyes, glancing down at Richmond and back up the empty halls. I found myself torn between what the right thing was. Her vengeance, which surely we all deserved, or saving lives. In the end, I found myself sprinting up the hallways, shouting intruder at the top of my chilled lungs.

 I burst back into the war room, heaving from my run.

 “How dare you run out like....”

 “She’s here!” I shouted at the queen before she had finished. “Evelyn has....”

 I was cut off by a peculiar sensation, a frigid hand gliding through my back to somewhere between my throat and lungs. Within the short second it took to realize what was happening, the cold had sunk beneath my skin and taken root somewhere under my ribs. As I breathed ice came forth and I found that I could not say a word. My voice had frozen in my chest.

 I pawed helplessly at my throat, turning to face her. Evelyn stood behind me, that blindingly brilliant smile on her face. She winked before walking past, entering the chamber.

 “Haven’t I killed you before?” the queen asked calmly, likely up to something.

 “I got better.”

 The atmosphere tensed as the others shuffled around the room, positioning themselves just so.

 “Seems impossible from the reports I received. Was I deceived?”

 “No deceptions, except your own, dear sister.”

 Instead of an answer, the queen’s hands crackled with magic energy and she shot a bolt of lightening at Evelyn, the specter of Evelyn, as my fellows cut at her with naked blades, just as they had before. But she only laughed, laughed as her form broke apart into a frigid mist.

 The rest, I did not rightly see, as a fireball burst within the cloud and sent me sprawling out in the hall. I coughed and rubbed at my chest, trying to break apart the ice, fearing I would suffocate if it continued to spread.

 There were screams, horrible screams, and the queen ran out with John on her heels. She grabbed my by the collar and yanked me onto my feet before dragging me down the hallway. We went through several corridors, my breath coming out in little white puffs as the echoes of battle and painful deaths chased us at a dulling distance. 

 She did not stop moving until we were safely tucked into a small room off the throne room. Using fire, she warmed my throat and unfroze my voice before grabbing my collar again and pulling me nose to nose with her.

 “What did you do?!”

 “Nothing, I did nothing. I... I went to ask Richmond where he had seen her and... she killed him.”

 The queen snarled before releasing me.

 “Who? Who summoned her back to the living plane if not you?!”

 “I know not the ways of magic, your majesty,” I replied.

 She just growled and paced, while I scrubbed at the place above my heart, trying to rub away the ache that had settled there. It was not long until we heard shouting down below. The shouts of sorceress and intruder did not fail to catch any of our attentions. John was at the balcony first, staring down at it all. The queen followed after him, gathering the velvet folds of her scarlet dress.

 “It was never meant to end like this…”

The murmur was almost lost amongst the screams, the queen staring out upon the devastation with an expression of grief and heartbreak, one hand clutching at the fabric over her chest, as if to stifle the pain she felt there. I was silent for a moment as I watched her out of the corner of their eyes, before letting out a deep sigh, the slightest of frowns marring my features as I finally turned to follow her gaze.

“No…. I don’t suppose it was…” I snarled as I watched Lucy running for her life on a frozen leg, the specter dancing and weaving through hails of arrows and sword slashes as she hunted her down. 

 The queen turned on me, eyes hard.

 “And it wouldn’t have happened,” I pressed, “if you hadn’t brought your own evil upon us all, your majesty.” 

 She rose her hand to slap me, but John’s shrill voice stopped her.

 “She’s going to die if we don’t do something!”

 “So? Let her. It’s not like she’d go out of her way for you,’ I spoke coldly, still staring into the queen’s dark orange eyes.

 I turned my back on them and started to walk towards the door. A wall of flames sprung up, stopping me.

 “I didn’t give you permission to leave! You can’t abandon your queen in a time of crisis!”

 I looked back at her.

 “You are not my queen.”

 She snarled.

 “Traitor!”

 “That is your title, sister,” Evelyn’s cold voice echoed in the room for a brief moment before her form rose up out of the floor. “You’re collapsing under the weight of your own lies, sweetheart. It was bound to happen eventually. That is why you cannot command loyalties, why you have never been able to keep friends.” Evelyn shook her head, her dark hair dancing around her misty shoulders. “Honestly, you never changed.  You only live to poison this world. That’s why father was going to pass the throne to me, instead of you. I wish I was sorry, but you’ve fucked me over one time too many. You already had your last chance. This ends here.”

 The queen started trembling.

 “So what happens now?”

 “Are you kidding me?” came the sneering reply. “Now I kill you. Or I die again trying.”

 “No, no you will go back to your grave!” the queen screeched. “John, kill her! Kill her again!”

 John hesitated. Being one of the ones that held me in place, he hadn’t actually killed her the first time, only helped. Now, seeing all whom did die... I doubted he wished to confront the image of vengeance we were now faced with. I had been her only friend on that fateful day, and I did not even wish to be in this freezing room with her any longer. But Evelyn gave him no choice. She glided towards him with a cruel smile.

 He swung his blade, catching only mist and air, but her glowing hand found it’s mark: his throat. I shuddered as I watched him claw helplessly at it, knowing the feeling he was undoubtedly experiencing. The queen, however, had no pity, no sympathy. She just attacked with magic, having little more effect than we had. But the blades of ice the specter conjured sent ribbons of red splattering across the fine floors. And when neither of them moved nor make any more sound, her form solidified and she collapsed to the floor, all of the old wounds from that terrible spring day reforming.

 Timidly, I went to her, kneeling by her form.

 “What did you do to them?” I asked, knowing full well what the answer would be.

 “What I had to.”

 “Did you have to?”

 “Perhaps... not... but here’s nothing quite like victory.”

 “This hardly counts as a victory, Evelyn.”

 She shrugged. I watched as pure black drained from her veins and arteries out onto the cold marble floor. I swore, as her eyes fluttered, as her breathing heaved, that I could see speckles, tiny little stars flecking the void-colored blood.

 “Why is it always you?” I asked, but my only answer came in the form of her body misting again, slowly turning to a cold fog before disappearing altogether.

 Years passed after the bloody slaughter at the castle, or perhaps icy slaughter is more apt. I got my wish to leave it, finally, after a cousin of Evelyn and the former queen stepped up to take the throne. He said he did not wish to keep a cursed person so close. At the time, I was too happy to be rid of the chains of my station to question it, but now... I wonder sometimes.

 Because on cold, spring days, I can feel her frigid hand on my heart.

[feelthepainofdodick]

A Non-Platonic Way (Heath Hussar Imagine)

Request! Hi could you possibly write a story about Heath and the reader (if you don’t write for heath I also really like Jeff lol) being friends since Florida and they go back to recreate the first time they met like heath and Zane did and they admit their feelings for each other

Notes: Hi. Don’t know if you remember me but I used to write for the vlog squad? Lol jkjkjk. But I get the inspo to finish this piece and post it. Hope yall like it. I’m sorry I haven’t posted much. I love you anyways for the support yall give anyways. It truly warms my heart. Enjoy this one! Also! This is my first Heath imagine so let me know what you think! Much love, Julie

Word Count: 1280

Heath was sitting on the couch of your apartment on his computer trying to figure out ideas for videos. He grunted loudly, pushed his computer to the side, and looked over to you. “(Y/N), I am completely out of video ideas. Any help?” Raising his eyebrows in a hopeful gaze.

You looked up from your phone. “Actually..” You moved in your seat to a more comfortable position to talk to him. He straightened himself to give you his full attention. “Okay so… You know how we’re going back to Florida this weekend for my family reunion and your mom’s birthday… What if we recreate the first time we met for a video? You’re fans love our friendship and we always talk about us knowing each other from Florida. So, why don’t we show them how we met?”

Heath smiled lightly reminiscing at how you both met. “Bubba, I love that idea!”

~~

A few days later…

~~

You both look into the camera as Heath begins his intro. “Hey guys! (Y/N/N) and I are back in Florida for the weekend, our hometown, and we thought we would recreate how we met for yall since everyone has been wondering.” You started jumping around next to Heath. “Guys! I’m super excited! As much as I love LA, I also love Florida. Meeting Heath was legit the best thing to happen to me. Not to get all soft here guys but he is my best friend after all. Without this guy right here…” You patted his shoulder looking from the camera to him. “I don’t know where I’d be.”

“Aweee... (Y/N) loves me guys. Okay. Enough with the love. Let’s show the people what they want to see bubba.”

You ran around Florida to the hotspots of where you met, where you hung out properly for the first time, where you met other friends, locations of parties you both attended. All for the camera. As the day continued, you couldn’t help but wonder how you both were destined to be best friends. But, as the day went on it became less platonic. 

As the day came to an end, you both ended up at a park you went to often. Heath explaining to the camera that this is the park where you both came to often to talk. He remembered a time where he went through a rough patch with a good friend of his and needed to talk about it. You were his shoulder to lean on. He explained to the viewers that he knew you would be in his life forever after that. 

When you walked through the park listening to Heath talk to the camera, all you could remember was the kiss you both shared years ago that you both never really discussed. It was near the beginning of your friendship and you both shrugged it off when it happened because your relationship wasn’t meant to be that way. And you were okay with that. He was your best friend. But now. Walking through the park. Reminiscing on old memories. All you could think about was that kiss and how badly you wanted to do it again. You casually guided Heath and yourself towards the specific spot while he talked to the camera. You didn’t know if you were doing it purposely or subconsciously but your feet were leading you there.

You got to the spot and looked over to Heath to see if he remembered. He continued talking to the camera as if nothing happened. Which, technically, nothing did. You were just being emotionally reminiscent. You sat on the bench with Heath overlooking the lake as he filmed an outro. He turned the camera off, sighed loudly, and stared out into the lake in silence. You did the same.

After a few minutes, you said, “Today was a good day bubba.” You smiled and glanced at him.

He looked like he was contemplating something in his head. “Wasn’t it?” You asked, now slightly concerned. You reached over to put your hand on his shoulder reassuringly. He immediately leaned into your touched. You could feel him leave whatever contemplative state he was in.

He looked over to you. “Do you ever think about it often? How the beginning of our friendship was?” You answered, “sometimes.”

“I used to have this huge crush on you when we first started hanging out. I even made my first move, right here, to kiss you. I don’t know if you remember…” You interrupted, “I remember.”

He looked down to the ground. “What ever happened? After that kiss, I thought there could have been something more. Then you never talked about it, so I thought that was just a big no from you. So I dropped it... Then we just became best friends. And obviously bubba…” He looked back over to me. “I love you as a friend. Forever and always. You are the best friend anyone could ever ask for. But, we’re here in the spot and I’m curious to what happened.”

You stared at each other as he awaited a response. You sighed. “Nothing happened. You are an amazing guy Heath and I would have been so lucky to date you. You kind of just kissed me and I didn’t know what to do. You didn’t talk about it after the fact, so I thought that meant you didn’t mean it. So, I didn’t talk about it. Then we became the best of friends anyone could ever want or need…” You paused. Looking to the ground to gain the courage to ask the next question. “Do you still have a crush on me?” You looked up to see him also looking at the ground now.

He stayed silent for a few moments. He got up in a rush. Pushed himself off the bench to start pacing in front of you. He started to ramble. “I don’t know bubba! What kind of question is that?! Well, I guess its normal since I did just confess my crush for you in the beginning of our friendship. When you didn’t talk about it after the fact I was kind of heartbroken. But I didn’t want to lose your friendship so I pined silently over you while developing this love for you in a different way. Or maybe the same way? Maybe I fell in love with you. Now you are telling me it could be my fault because you thought I regretted that! I feel like at some point I had to get over it. That I had to stop pining over you. So I tried. I really did. To get over you. And to some extent, I like to think I did. But sometimes there were moments where I was back here completely infatuated with you. When the light would kit you the right way in our car rides. When you would edit with me and fall asleep. Your beautiful scrunched up face would just be cuddled up on the couch. When you would dance to music. I would just watch you and be brought back to my love for you in a non-platonic way…” He sighed and stopped pacing. He sat back on the bench and turned his body towards yours. “(Y/N)... I think I am in love with you. And I honestly don’t know what to do about it or if you even feel the same…”

You couldn’t hold out any longer. You interrupted his continued rambling with a kiss. You pulled back, laid your forehead on his, looking into his eyes. “Bubba... I love you too. Let’s try this non-platonic way out. Yes?” He smiled. “Yes please.”