#anyways maybe that will make it easier to send memes

[lncarnon]

hello world and all who inhabit it i present spicy

just going through my list of muses;

nadia is very touch adverse and subsequently hasn't been laid in a long time, only interested in men

nekros is exempt from spicy hc's

teshin has a non-existent sex drive

stalker very, very rarely is horny and the moments where he is are typically reserved for his acolytes, so good luck

julie has definitely used her charm and looks to seduce people to their death but the only time she would actually let it get anywhere, is with frank, or frank's permission

joey is definitely still a virgin, not for lack of trying, but he is wholly unsure what to do with himself in that regard

were-elk huntress would be quite a terrifying ordeal and since she has no interest in men, might be seduced by a woman but also.. good luck with that one

krampus trapper fucks, he's a scary demon goat-man, but no one has been brave enough to even try

b-312 has no interest in seeking out sex, though there is a chance someone could try and convince her, good luck. she definitely would not be interested in casual encounters.

the warden is a giant robot, no

the servant of the flame definitely still has a sex drive and they use the same magic that made them, to manifest a dick, but sex is far from the first thing on their mind

mia is open to a very loose lifestyle and flings, but her job keeps a lot from developing

finka has a very specific type of man she is interested in and if you don't fit that category, the answer is likely no, but she will be nice about it

yellowleg also doesn't think about sex, if ever

rosebud is the opposite and likes to use sex as a means to conquer cocky guys, if you get her in bed better prepare for her being on top

thatcher likes a good fuck as much as the next guy, but his age is starting to get to him, and if you asked out of the blue or at a bar he would probably just chuckle and decline

maximilien fucks but he never initiates, though he won't go to bed with strangers

the monitor before becoming the monitor had a normal sex drive, but ever since his training, sees no purpose in it (with one exception and they know who they are)

june likes sex, how it makes her feel, and she engages in it whenever convenient

amon would definitely use sex as a means to control someone, full stop, he isn't interested in attachment

revenant has bodies with modifications both for mouth and other means, he doesn't get horny, but would absolutely capitalize on making someone feel ashamed because they wanted to fuck a murder robot

slade hasn't really thought about sex since everything that happened in star city, it isn't something he goes looking for, and will satiate himself if it comes up

jeri knows what sex is but would be unlikely to do anything with that information, that being said, if you really wanted to go to town with a xenomorph and not be killed go ahead and try i GUESS

for walter there seems to be some suggestion that trolls have private parts but they don't use them to reproduce so i have NO IDEA if they could fuck. walter is far more human adjacent so he might?? try, if someone wanted.

zachariah definitely gets horny, but is fairly picky on whether or not he is going to be asking for help from anyone

aria will frequent a few bars around the local area if she is really feeling like she needs some release, but don't expect her to stick around

theoretically you could have sex with the ahamkara but also why would you want to do that

saint-14 is very much a monogamous man and that's the end of that

rasputin is another one of those 'you could but he wouldn't understand what's going on' characters, so probably don't try, his son might also hunt you down-

araskes is in a state of being that she doesn't have physical needs to any degree, for food, or sex. i guess it would not be impossible to seduce her but you would have better luck seducing a brick wall

delilah is bisexual but lesbian leaning, so women will definitely have better chances at engaging with her

the outsider hasn't been human in centuries, but if you approach him in my au where he was freed from being a god, he would be pretty lost as to what he is feeling and what to do about it haha. oldest virgin.

daud is asexual, he'd let you think you are getting somewhere and then he would probably stab you for being so gullible

caska is a giant cat, she would only be interested in other giant cats and even then she isn't interested in starting a family yet

rindul is a vampire that knows how to have a good time, but most people are scared of him, so he often has quite a bit of alone time

elam, as an assassin, has definitely used sex to get to a target. at least he lets them finish before gutting them. not much interest outside of work

lord warden dusk is a very large, dragon-like demon, who definitely could fuck but doesn't inherently have much of a sex drive if ever and would use it against a mortal readily. but hey, if you are into size difference-

the ascendant lord is just a guy, with a high position in society on both sides of his person. he gets offers all the time so you really would have to make an impression to get that kind of attention from him

maxwell only had eyes for one girl, and she hates him, so don't bother

shay fucks when the need arises, but it's usually limited to someone he already knows

aiden would be a task and a half to seduce, he usually sticks to himself

teylan is exempt from the spicy hc's

[orangesaek]

‘choose me’ | simp Haechan

summary: a short story about how Haechan got roasted, fell deeply in love, and tried to convince you (a serial Tinder dater) that he’s the best catch around

pairings: haechan x afab!reader┊genre: fluff (with a sprinkle of comedy)┊wc: 0.8k┊cw: very minimal cursing, like three

a/n: slightly proofread; inspired by a funny astrology meme i saw on reddit lol

The first time Haechan realized he liked you was when you insulted him.

Not a casual jab.

A full-on, deadpan, “did you take something that’s why you talk this much, or is it just your personality?”

He fell in love instantly, like a loser.

You were sharp, untouchable, kind of scary, and hot. Like, distractingly hot.

Which would’ve been fine if you weren’t also funny and charming and friends with his friends. If you hadn’t slotted yourself right into the Dreamies’ circle like you’d always belonged there.

Especially Jisung. That little shit.

You two bonded over aliens and cursed theories and inside jokes faster than Haechan could process.

So, yeah. From day one, he was doomed.

But the problem was, you didn’t like him.

Well, not in the way he liked you.

You were out there dating guys with astrology tattoos and ‘sapiosexual’ in their bios.

Meanwhile, Haechan was watching you spiral through Tinder dates like a Bachelor contestant, wondering when God would give him a break.

“Another fail?” he’d ask casually every time you joined the group post-date.

You’d glare. “At least I’m trying.”

And he’d flash you a grin and say something stupid like, “may God continue to send you terrible men until you finally choose me, ah-men.”

It was a joke.

Except it wasn’t.

He meant every goddamn word.

He wasn’t subtle about liking you either. Not even a little.

He flirted loudly, shamelessly, obnoxiously—but he loved you quietly, in the background. In the little ways.

Like the iced drinks.

You always wrapped a tissue around your cup because you hated the wetness. So Haechan started doing it for you. No announcement. Just, ‘here’, like it was no big deal.

He noticed the way you wiped the mouth of a can before drinking, so he started doing that for you too.

And when you kept taking the chair against the wall during group dinners, he started offering it first. No fuss. Just slid into the other seat like it was nothing.

You liked extra onions in your food. He didn’t. But you’d never know that, because he always gave you his.

“You’re obsessed with onions,” he teased once, dropping another spoonful on your plate.

You laughed, glowing. “They make everything better.”

He smiled, chewing on his plain meat. “Guess they do.”

He didn’t want credit. He just wanted to make your life easier. That was enough.

Okay, maybe a little credit. A plaque, a trophy, your hand in marriage. Whatever.

Still, nothing changed.

You kept dating around.

And Haechan? He kept pretending it didn’t get to him.

He joked about your flops. He played it cool. But inside, he was climbing the walls, screaming into the void, rewriting sad songs in his head.

“Why not me?” he asked Jaemin once, tipsy and dramatic.

“Because you’re a menace,” Jaemin replied, not looking up from his phone.

Then came the arcade night.

You were freshly ditched by some asshole. Haechan had a whole speech ready. Something about how he would never cancel on you unless he was actively on fire.

But when you showed up with Jisung anyway, he swallowed it. Just being around you was enough.

The claw machine nearly ruined him.

You stood there, trying to win a ridiculous plushie, failing over and over with your nose scrunched and your lip pouty.

Haechan, of course, had to intervene for your happiness. Not because you looked like an actual Disney character in distress.

“I got this,” he said, rolling up his sleeves like a clown.

Miss.

Miss.

Devastating miss.

He could feel the judgment radiating off you.

“Are you trying to lose on purpose?” you asked.

“I’m letting the plushie build character,” he said, sweating.

But on the fourth try, the stars aligned. The claw dropped, caught, and delivered that cursed plush into his hands like divine retribution for his devotion.

He handed it to you like it was the most sacred object in the world.

“For you,” he said. “Because clearly the universe is giving you everything but me.”

You stared at him and he panicked.

“… and because you’re too pretty to be rejected and plushie-less,” he quickly added.

You laughed and he breathed again

The shift was slow, just the little things.

You started texting him first. Sitting next to him more and laughing longer.

Then came the night you asked him out.

He genuinely thought he hallucinated it.

“Wait, like, a real one?” he asked, blinking rapidly.

“With me???”

“No, with the ghost of my dating history,” you said dryly.

“Yes, you, you dummy.”

He had to walk away for ten seconds and come back just to make sure you hadn’t changed your mind.

The first date was simple.

He booked your favorite restaurant. You sat in your preferred seat. He brought your drink already wrapped in tissue and ordered extra onions for your favorite dish.

You looked at all of it—every small, invisible thing he’d been doing for months—and then looked at him like he was something brand new.

“Haechan,” you said, “why do you do all this?”

He shrugged casually. “Because I noticed.”

You stared at him.

He swallowed but let out a soft, genuine smile.

“And because I like you,” he said, like it was the simplest truth in the world.

Because it really was.

accepting requests atm ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎♡ btw, part 2 is otw ;)

── .✦ SEQUEL IS OUT!!! ✦. ──

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Two Three Four Five

“So Steve, I know you said that you don’t think you need anyone...” Eddie sighs, “do you think that implies that I think that what he thinks is wrong?”

“I think it implies you’ve lost your fucking mind.”

Eddie doesn’t even have the energy to glare at Dustin, it’s much easier to just pretend he hasn’t spoken, “okay, Steve-”

“Yeap, you’re really strong on establishing you know the guys name, which is like, a solid point in your favor.”

“I hate you,” Eddie says to the ceiling, neck at an odd angle where he’s flopped his head back over the arm of the couch, “so, Steve, I know you said you don’t need anyone, and you are totally right-”

“You’re a strong independent Omega who don’t need no Alpha!”

“So help me Henderson I will throw you out,” Eddie waits, but Dustin is finally silent on the matter, “Steve. I totally respect the fact that you are absolutely fine handling everything alone, and if you’re...happy with us, being friends, then I’m happy with that too. I did wonder, though, if you’d like to go on a date. With me. Maybe?” Eddie sighs, flopping his arms over his face, “I’m so bad at this. This is going to go so wrong and he’s going to hate me and never want to see me again and-”

“Eddie...has the Omega broken your brain? What the fuck is wrong with you man-”

“I don’t know! I don’t...I’ve literally never felt this way before, not about anyone. And Jamie, man, I know he’s not my pup, okay, Steve and I aren't dating, he’s literally my friends pup, that’s it but...I swear I would die for that kid, no question.”

“Okay...so just...ask him out? Steve I mean, not Jamie-”

Eddie huffs, “I don’t...I’m pretty sure I can’t. The more I think about it the more it feels...like Steve’s had a pretty bad run of Alphas, it sounds like, and I just don’t think he’d be interested. And he’s just literally had a pup, like Jamie is only just a month old, who am I to add to that, you know? Steve’s got enough to think about.”

“So...don’t ask him out?”

Eddie flops over onto his side, curling up so he can smush his face into the cushions, “but I really want to. I think it’s selfish though. I’m being selfish. I should just...be a good friend. Keep being a good friend.”

“And pine to death?”

“I mean. Seems like a reasonable way out.”

“Dude I do not know what to say to you,” the timer on the oven starts to buzz, “but at least you’re going to feed me, right?”

Eddie sighs, dragging himself out of the near suffocating safety of the gap in the couch cushions. He opens his message thread with Steve, scrolling back through the shared memes and screenshots and pictures. He reads little tidbits of conversation while he pulls out bowls and plates. The three dots appear, Eddie’s heart leaps a little because Steve is, right there. Right next door, with his phone in his hand, typing to Eddie.

‘I’d love some. I’ve made a banana cream pie if you want to take it back for your games night.’

Eddie sends back a shocked emoji, ‘I can’t take an entire pie.’

‘You won’t, my slice will be gone.’

Eddie smiles and slips his phone into his pocket. He slices two thick pieces of bread from the loaf he made this afternoon, wraps them, and then fills a bowl with casserole. Eddie’s pretty sure this bowl is Steve’s anyway; so many of their plates and bowls have been migrating back and forth it’s hard to tell any more, between Eddie’s dinners and Steve’s desserts.

He likes to bake something extra special for games nights though, he always says you can’t make just one cookie, or one slice of pie. He likes to make sweet things when he knows there will be people to give it to, otherwise, “I’ll just eat the whole thing Eddie!”

Eddie doesn’t see a problem with eating the whole thing, but he slips on his adventure crocs and heads out into the hall. Dustin doesn’t even tease too badly any more, even though Eddie’s sure it’s because he’s threatened to withhold Steve’s desserts.

Eddie knocks with the hand holding the bread, letting himself in when Steve calls, “it’s open!”

“Hey Steve, hey Jamie,” he sets Steve’s dinner on the little table, next to the juice and cutlery Steve’s already set out for himself.

“What do you have planned for them tonight?” Steve brings out a pie on a plate, a slice already gone, just like he said. It has real neat swirls of cream on top; it looks professional to Eddie, like you’d buy in a store.

“Destruction. Misery. Suffering. The usual.”

Steve hums, “uh hu. What color salad did you decide on in the end?”

Eddie sighs, “you say it Slaad. And I don’t know, what do you think?”

“I actually quite liked the idea for the dog shark thing, it was cute,” Steve hands over the pie, going on tip toes to kiss Eddie on the cheek as he hands it over.

“One home brew Bulette, coming right up,” Eddie replies absently. He’s pretty sure he’s gone at least a little pink, and Steve’s scent is fresh and bright in his nose for a moment, “I’d better…” Eddie gestures lamely with the pie, “you know.”

“Have fun!” Steve calls as Eddie lets himself out, “don’t go too hard on them!”

Eddie’s doing his best not too stare, he really is.

He has one foot on the stroller, rolling it gently back and forward. He has his guitar resting on the other knee, he strums, singing quietly to Jamie, “I'd rather be a forest than a street, yes, I would...if I could, I surely would.” Jamie burbles at him, waving his arms a little and making happy pup noises.

On the court, Steve laughs, and Eddie fails, and he looks. Steve’s wearing a tank top and those obscenely short shorts. Him and Chrissy are bouncing the ball at each other, catching it, doing a squat, a little jump, and bouncing it back. They’ve done all sorts of stuff like this, sweaty jock games. Steve’s short shorts riding up even further at the slightest provocation.

Jamie makes a noise, drawing Eddie’s attention back, “I'd rather feel the earth beneath my feet, yes, I would...if I could, I surely would,” Eddie sings, soft and slow.

Steve and Chrissy come over eventually, Steve lifting the bottom of his shirt to wipe at his sweaty face, fully showing Eddie his tummy in all it’s glory. It’s thick, but firm, decorated by a handful of stretch marks and a perfect dusting of happy trail, “thanks for keeping an eye.”

“Huh?” Eddie asks, feeling kind of dumb but still managing to strum along on auto pilot.

Next to him, Chrissy snickers around her water bottle.

“Thank you, for watching Jamie,” Steve says to him more slowly, smirking, his sweaty hair flopping across his forehead.

“Right, right, sure, of course. Anytime. Pleasure. Really.”

Next to him, Chrissy huffs. Eddie pointedly ignores it.

The knocking is awful. It’s relentless. It’s obnoxious. It’s definitely Robin.

“I know you’re in there!”

Yeap. Yeap that’s definitely Robin. Eddie groans into the couch cushion before dragging himself up. She’s speaking before he has the door fully open, “this is getting old.”

“And what might that be-”

Robin puts on the most obnoxious voice Eddie thinks he’s ever heard, she clasps her hands together, holding them to her chest and she bats her lashes coquettishly at the ceiling, “oh Eddie’s cooking is just the best ever. Did you know he plays guitar! He says he’ll teach Jamie when he’s old enough! And he’s so smart, he’s got so many books in his apartment-”

“Okay.”

“Did you know he’s artistic! He paints his little dungeon game miniatures and they’re so good-”

“All right.”

“You should just see him with Jamie-”

“Robin.”

“And he’s such a good Alpha! He’s so good to his friends, he puts in so much work-”

“And we are done,” Eddie goes to shut the door. He can’t handle this. He knows Robin probably means well, in her own meddling way, but he just...can’t. This has to be Steve’s choice, right? Steve’s been pretty clear why he went it alone, and Robin is just...teasing him. It makes Eddie feel all warm and bubbly inside, knowing that Steve says these things about him, that Steve...likes him. But...Steve has a pup, and just because he says these things behind closed doors, it doesn’t mean Eddie has any right to know them.

No matter how it makes him feel.

“Wait wait wait...can’t you just, ask him out? End all of our suffering?”

Eddie sighs, “Steve has enough going on without me making it more complicated, okay? Steve can...he’s perfectly capable of telling me this himself.”

“No he isn’t. Because Steve would never ask you to take on another Alpha’s pup.”

“He’s not another Alpha’s pup, he’s Steve’s pup,” Eddie tells her reflexively.

“Uh hu,” she has her hands on her hips now, looking at him expectantly.

Eddie swallows thickly, and he can’t quite look at Robin, “what if...what if I loose him?”

“You won’t. You know you won’t.”

“But-”

“Me and Chrissy are taking Jamie for the night, did you know that? Giving Steve a night off, and we’re getting some practice in for when we’re ready to have our own, you know?”

“I...did not know that.”

“Yeah.”

Eddie stands for a second, not sure what to say, down the hall, Steve’s door opens.

“-and it’s in the changing bag.”

“I got it.”

“Don’t forget to heat the formula to-”

“Steve,” Chrissy sounds exasperated, “we’ve got it,” she has Jamie in his car seat.

“Plus,” Robin whispers to him conspiratorially, “he’s going to have a heat at some point, so we gotta be ready for that. You know, wouldn’t be fair to which ever Alpha ends up helping him out-”

“I know what you’re doing,” Eddie growls, watching Steve fuss over the pup.

“Is it working?”

“Go away.”

Robin shrugs, and Eddie watches as she goes to Chrissy, taking the bag so Chrissy is just left with the car seat, “it’s going to be fine, and you can call us any time.”

Eddie ends up watching Steve, as Steve watches his pup and his friends disappear at the end of the hall. His shoulder sag a little, and Eddie can't help but go to him.

“Hey.”

Steve sighs, “would it be weird if we followed them?”

“Maybe. I’ll drive though.”

Steve smiles up at him, and it looks kind of watery, “what if we break into their place and take him back?”

Eddie shrugs, “pretty sure we could just ask but, whatever makes you feel better, I guess.”

Steve sighs, “I sound crazy,” and a tear finally escapes, sliding down his cheek.

Eddie can’t help but scoop him up into a big hug, “I think you sound like the best dad in the world. I’ll get you one of those mugs. You know, for fathers day.”

Steve sighs, and sniffles, “thanks Eddie.”

“You want take out? I’ve primed you a miniature, if you still want to try your hand.”

“Can we watch a shit film too?”

“Oh fuck me I’d love to watch a shit film,” Eddie says vehemently into Steve’s hair.

Steve laughs against his chest.

Steve doesn’t have it in him to try painting his owlbear tonight; he picks forlornly at his duck rolls, “I’m sorry I’m not very good company.”

“It’s okay, I get it...I miss him too.”

“Oh, so you admit I’m being shit company?” Steve smiles for the first time this evening.

“Oh, yeah, the absolute worst.”

Steve phone pings and he practically dives for it, but then he melts, face going soft as he looks at the message, “Jamie’s asleep,” he shows Eddie the picture.

“Safe and sound,” Eddie reassures Steve for probably the fifteenth time this evening.

“I didn’t...I mean I knew I’d love my pup but...I didn’t know it would feel like this, you know? It feels crazy. And I mean...Jamie’s happy, and healthy, and that just makes absolutely everything feel...right? Does that make sense? Like...fulfilled.”

“I...yeah. I think I understand,” Eddie tells him quietly, because he feels like that about the both of them, as long as Steve, and by extension, Jamie, are both happy and healthy then...yeah. Yeah, the whole world feels like it’s an okay place to be.

“Eddie I-”

“Steve-”

They speak over each other, and end up laughing, leaning closer together on the couch. The remains of Steve’s half eaten dinner get moved to the safety of the coffee table. They’re close enough then that Eddie can see the dim light from the TV reflecting in Steve’s eyes.

“You go,” Eddie whispers to him.

Steve shakes his head, but takes Eddie’s hand in both of his, rubbing his thumb over Eddie’s knuckles, Steve whispers back, “you first.”

“I...I really like having you in my life Steve. And I don’t want to...to fuck that up, by expecting more from you.”

“I...yeah. Same.”

“Same?” It comes out as a surprised laugh.

Steve’s laughing too now, “what do you want me to say I mean...you pretty much covered it.”

“I have spent ages agonizing over this and and and- all I get is- yeah. Same. I guess. I suppose.”

Steve is properly laughing now, “come here, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” he pulls Eddie close, and manages to stop laughing long enough to kiss his cheek, “okay,” Steve takes a deep breath, “I’ve just had a pup, and both me and that pup care about you so very much, and I did not want to mess it up by expecting you to take that on, okay?”

“You’re not a chore Steve, neither of you are a chore.”

“I mean he was sick on me the other day and that kind of felt-”

Eddie cuts him off with a kiss. It’s soft, a gentle press of lips that Steve...sighs into. Relaxes into. Lets Eddie take both their weight. Steve’s hands find their way into Eddie’s hair as Eddie gently wets Steve’s lip, and Steve lets him in.

It feels like coming home.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Goo Kim x Reader: Realisations and Confessions

G/N. 1.5k. Sorta silly. Masterlists

An unfortunate side effect of Gun's ass being hauled off to prison is that Goo has more spare time on his hands, and you now have an annoying blonde on yours.

If you really think about it, his behaviour started further back than you can recall and has grown so constant and insidious, you're not sure if there was ever a time before this.

Maybe there was. But you don't like to dwell on it because it makes your current days all the more fruitless and depressing. You don't want to lament the past freedom you wasted, the joy you experienced without a pesky clingy idiot called Goo Kim hanging off you.

Almost everyday without fail, there'll be calls and a barrage of messages from Goo. If you ignore him for too long then he shows up at your door. If you respond, hours are wasted listening to him.

Truly a lose-lose situation. 

And what does he like to tell you about?

Mostly inane bullshit, complaints about this and that, whatever crap his single overworked brain cell can conjure up. You’re pretty sure you’ve spent more time with him, talking to him, in the last 6 months than anyone else in your entire life.

So yes, call it cabin fever or stockholm syndrome or any other psychological phenomenon you can think of; but now, when the silence has stretched for too long, when you don’t hear the telltale buzz or ping from your phone, when a familiar figure doesn’t darken your doorstep-

You start to wonder what Goo is doing. You think you miss him.

.

.

It's not that Goo is lonely, it's just that he's used to attention.

Kind of.

Gun Park would always sit there wordlessly when they ran their missions together, no doubt tuning him out. Still, it was an audience wasn't it. Someone that Goo could rattle off ideas and thoughts to. He's just thinking aloud, and Gun had happened to be in the general vicinity.

And then Gun became immersed with even more shady Charles Choi dealings, had offered you as a sort of occasional substitute - someone competent that could deal with the Four Crews alongside Goo.

And it was nice, having a new audience that Goo could bounce his unhinged ideas off of. It was also nice testing your patience and sanity. The fire in your eyes when he said something particularly foul, or the way your nostrils flared, or seeing how long it would take you to roll your eyes.

The days when Gun was back and it was just the two of them again, sure, some of their trips ran a bit easier, success was swifter, though the company was undeniably less pleasant.

And finally, when Goo realised that you're not Gun's lackey or side piece or whatever but someone to be reckoned with; that you have thoughts of your own, there's scheming and plotting and deviousness behind that facade of pleasantness, well-

He's grown sort of-

A little bit-

Just a tiny bit-

(Hold on as he tries not to gag at this confession-)

Fond.

And-

AND.

The trouble is that Goo is never fond of anyone, at least not the way he is with you. He has his secret friends and his contacts but not someone he considers a confidante (not that you're likely aware that you're his confidante).

And when he's fond of someone, then even he feels a pang of pity for whoever has captured his full attention. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a stray thought sometimes lingers too close to realisation - a realisation that he is too much, too intense, too suffocating. Surely no normal, sane person could put up with him-

But he's not the retrospective type, so he never truly develops that self awareness, never has that realisation. Anyway.

You're a busy person, Goo's a busy person and there's days and weeks where your paths don't overlap.

So he frequently finds himself reaching for his phone, texting you and sending you gifs and memes. Often you leave him on read, and he shrieks at the audacity of you leaving him on read. He punishes you by not reaching out for the next couple hours but he's always the one that gives in.

That's another first, isn't it. Goo doesn't give in.

But with you there's no harm. 

He reasons it's almost cathartic to info dump on you. To at least know you haven't blocked him even if you don't respond. And despite all this, you still pick up your phone every time he calls. Sometimes after a few too many rings, though nevertheless you're listening to him. Murmuring appeasements as he rambles on and god, there's nothing better to hear your voice after a long day and he realises how much he's missed y-

Ahem.

Behind his glasses, Goo's eyes widen comically big.

Now that is a realisation.

.

.

Lately Goo has been nagging you to join him for a drink.

Somewhere between Goo recruiting Logan as a secret friend, and the disbanding of the temporary Fifth Affiliates, drinking sessions with you have become a semi-regular occurrence.

Not that he's drinking. Alcohol rarely touches Goo's lips. He likes his tongue sharp and mind sharper, and the effect of the beers and sojus only serve to dull his senses.

Still. It’s been far too long.

Tonight, by your third drink, as usual your defences are slightly lowered and your lips are loose. The roles have reversed and Goo is the one listening to you.

Whining about your life, Gun owing you something or another before he was locked up, the troubles with some new gangs you’ve encountered, a dull ache in your hip from an old injury,  and surprisingly-

The conversation twists and turns to an entirely new topic.

Not without some prodding and poking by Goo, that is. He hints at some shadowy figures in the corner of this dingy bar checking you out and cackles when you glare daggers; taunts you about being single and forever alone and how beggars can’t be choosers.

Then when you consider smashing the bottle of beer you’re currently nursing and glassing him in the face, you deflate and drop your head into the palm of your hands.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” 

“Asshole.”

“Me?” He feigns innocence when you peer at him between the cracks of your fingers.

“Why are you such a fucking asshole all the time?”

Unexpectedly, Goo bristles at your jab. “Hey,” he leans down to murmur in your ear, “You’re being awfully mean to me.”

He relishes you shivering at his closeness.

“Am not,” Then after a beat, “You started it.”

Even in your hazy consciousness, you realise how childish you sound. You outwardly cringe.

To move swiftly on from your embarrassment, you find a particularly interesting spot on the wall in front of you and once you talk, you find that it’s hard to stop.

It’s not that you’re not interested in anyone, it’s just difficult isn’t it? FInding the time and the right person in your line of work. There’s so much you need to hide unless you find someone already in this world. And anyone that is involved in this is fucked up enough as it is. Hardly relationship material. But you’re still young, there’s no rush. Though it’ll be nice to have someone to share a life with, who gets you, who greets you after a long tiring day, who looks after you-

“I’ll look after you.”

A voice somewhere to your right breaks through your rambling. You snap your head around to stare at your companion.

“Huh?”

“I said, cupcake,” Goo shrugs, eyes boring into yours even though his body feigns nonchalance, ”I’ll look after you.”

Your brows knit together. Maybe it’s the alcohol that prevents you from immediately joining the dots. Maybe it’s the impossibility of what he has just implied.

“Why are you going to do that?” you blurt out.

At your question, an emotion that you can’t quite put your finger on flashes across Goo’s face.

He hesitates, and you notice how loud the hesitation is. You watch the casual way he runs his fingers through his blonde locks and realise it’s not casual at all. He’s buying time for his answer.

Oh?

Oh.

Oh.

You suddenly feel unbearably hot. You’re certain you’re blushing. You try to stop your face from breaking into a grin and you know that you’re failing.

Your eyes dart to Goo’s and find them watching you closely from behind his glasses. 

He’s confessed, in a way, and he’s realised your brain is whirring away, finally able to put two and two together. He’s waiting for your answer, Handing you the power, leaving the ball in your court.

“Ok,” you squeak, voice almost failing you. You clear your throat roughly. “Let’s try it.”

Not the most romantic agreement yet Goo can’t stop the heat rising to his cheeks or the way his stomach flutters. And now, he realises, that the grin on his face matches yours.

[inumakis-boo]

May I have some dating Toge Inumaki headcanons? Both sfw and NSFW... If you're comfortable.

TOGE INUMAKI ♫₊˚.🎧 ✧💬

headcanons 𓍢ִ˖ hello and thank you for the requests! i am current rediting all of my posts, so if this looks a little different than when you first saw it, thats the reason why!

anyways, i hope all of you enjoy! and if course, NSFW will be tagged and is written for a female perspective.

safe for work headcanons

- would probably not notice each other the first time you meet, maybe an interested glance but it doesn't really hit until the second or third time that he really sees you

- probably asks for your number just so yall can talk better, and once you do, its an instant connection. he literally wouldnt be able to stop, staying up all night to text you

- texts you out of the blue, and although probably feels embarrassed to double text, he is just that interested in you

- would totally deliever a bag of goodies he bought at the store for you, and additionally maybe offer to make you a lunch to try before he makes it for everyone else

- you comment on one of his t-shirts he wears and he puts it in one of the goodie bags he buys you, doused in his cologne because he wants you to think of him

- would totally send annoying memes and tiktoks and bully you over text, also play 8-ball COMPETITIVELY cause he aint gonna lose to you (he doesnt even pity lose to you)

- shows up unannounced just to kiss you in the door frame of your dorm room as a goodnight and then leaves you there

- that is until you invite him over to your dorm at night and he brings post-it notes and teaches you his semi-bilingual language for easier understanding, and utterly loves you for it

- the talking stage would be him just pining over you cosntantly, writing it all down in journals or in his notes app

- after yall started dating, it is very much a no public affection mostly because he doesnt want anybody to be in your business. especially with his noisy ass friends

- but no matter what, he is going to hold your hand, especially when going on dates and walking around campus at night (would definitely talk u into sneaking out)

- he would be hesistant to kiss you even after yall became offical, probably go a few weeks before you just say it straight that you want him to kiss you and you dont even get it all out before hea pinning you to a door and giving you the best kiss of your life

- would absolutely use his speech on you so you cannot resist it when he tickles you or when you are beating him in a game

- he is not the sappiest guy, but if you start to get sappy over a movie or a sad book, he will rub your back and give you head-kisses to help you feel better

below is not safe for work content. mdni.

not safe for work headcanons

- you find out very quickly into the relationship that he cannot resist a challenge of any kind. therefore, using that to your advantage always works out

- challenging him through text to sneak out of his dorm will work, but ofc he wants a prize at the end (you are on your knees for the next hour)

- the benefit of his speech is that you don't feel any fatigue whatsoever during its use, so that makes it really easy to make your body endure while you deep-throat him over and over.

- it doesn't diminish the pleasure though; being told to stay still while he fondles your chest takes away nothing from the experience, and he knows how much you like having no choice.

- not that even if it was tiring, you wouldn't let him throat-fuck you, the noises he makes are heavenly for someone who can't speak straight, the struggle of watching him grip the bedframe and biting his lips so he doesn't utterly ruin you is SO worth a bruised throat.

- he might be nervous to use his speech on you the first time, but after you make sure that you can handle it, its becomes so much more confident in using it

- he loves making out with you, he loves making your lips red with all the biting, he wants to see them glossy and wet right before he puts his fingers in your mouth (you know where they are going next)

- sexting is so fun, yall thought it might be cringy, but its literally the best when he calls you with a command and he gets to listen to you whimper and moan as he jerks off to it, can be totally unexpected

- "Ride me."

- hand on your thigh when nobody can see, and his pinky is awfully close to your panties that it makes you nervous.

- ofc he can easily make you cum, but will he always let you? not without a cute little 'please' hes not. begging is fun, isnt it?

- lets be honest, the dick game is so good he don't even have to tell you to go to sleep after

- ofc he would definitely lay it down on you exactly how he described through text, and then clean you with special wipes he bought from the store because he aint a dickhead, duh.

I have so many more, especially for different situations, so lmk if you want more! Thank u for all the support as of recently!

bye pookies!

[kislnd]

can i get a what would it be like dating willne?

dating willne~

ofc pookie, here you go!! i love making these, it just gives me an excuse to type my silly little thoughts hehe

-> will doesn't strike me as the type of guy to be big on pda so i think as a consequence he would be extra touchy behind closed doors. he would always need to have part of him touching you, whether it be you on his lap or even something small like him resting his hand on your thigh.

-> i feel like he would be protective of you so you would probably have quite a private (but not secret) relationship. both of your social medias would only show snippets of your lives together - will likes it this way because he gets to have you to himself and you can enjoy lots of things together without worrying about public image or anything.

-> you guys would definitely share clothes. his wardrobe would become your wardrobe and it wouldn't be uncommon for him to lose a jumper only to find that you were wearing it. he definitely wouldn't mind though, it would make you even more attractive to him.

-> couple naps - because he is always close to you and probably like a human heater, it is so easy to fall asleep. there would be many cases where people would walk in and see you and will cuddled up having a nap just because you are both so comfortable.

-> he makes doing mundane tasks like cooking or washing up much easier, he would always be willing to help and would always have his horrendous puns on hand to make you laugh, even if it is just because of how rubbish they are.

-> when you're upset, i think he would be trying to do anything in his power to make everything okay again - i feel like seeing you sad would be one of the most stressful things for him because he never wants you to be unhappy.

-> he would love to take you out on dates. i imagine he would always want them to be a surprise for you so he would just tell you what to wear and the rest would be up to him. he would take you out to fancy restaurants and give you the princess treatment you deserve but i also think he would take you on more chill dates, maybe activity based ones like to the arcade or to places like the beach. if neither of you can make time to go out, he will make sure to cook you your favourite meal at home.

-> it would be impossible for you to get out of bed in the morning, he would try to drag you back in or get you to stay in his arms by promising to get up in five minutes instead (it's always more than five). it would take a lot for you to convince him that going to work was more important than five extra minutes of cuddling, the only way for him to let you go would be by promising to pick up where you left off in the evening.

-> i think you would get on really well with his friends and they would consider you part of their group - there would be many occasions where they would invite you to hang out or to go out for drinks.

-> he would always bring things back from the shop for you without you asking. any time he goes out, you can expect him to come back with something extra, like a packet of your favourite sweets, especially for you to enjoy.

-> your opinion would be very important to him, he would always be asking you about video ideas or showing you what he has made for you to judge. you would be like his quality controls - he knows if you like it, other people likely will too.

-> always sending you stupid reels / tiktoks / memes, you would hear his laugh from the next room and without fail your phone would vibrate within the next seconds following. let's be real, he would probably send you some brainrot that you would laugh at anyway just because you could hear how hard he was laughing.

[kaiyunsim]

where or when —

pairing : best friend!leehan x m!reader

summary : seeing your instagram stories with an unfamilliar @ sparks something in leehan, and when he comes to you for a trip, you notice a difference in his attitude…

warnings : fluff, angst if you squint, HIGH amounts of jealousy, reader tends to look over the signs, highschool best friends, college au, lowkey best friend zoned, gyuvin from zb1 as the reader’s friend,

a/n : still trying to do requests 😓 sorry if i’m taking a while… anyways enjoy my leehan fic debut ! (this is me being desperate for bnd + zb1 crumbs) sorry anon if this is kinda half-assed :(

queueing… : where or when - laufey, ever seen - beabadoobe, jupiter - the marías

[requested]

— wc : 4.2k — not proof read —

you and leehan still talk. not as much as you used to, but enough that it doesn’t feel like you’ve lost him. there’s a routine now. late-night texts, random memes sent in the middle of the day, and the occasional call when time zones and schedules allow.

it’s different, though. before, you saw him every day. before, it was easy to read his mood, his quirks, the way he’d space out during lunch and suddenly snap back with a weird, offhand comment that made you laugh. now, everything is filtered through a screen, through choppy audio and pixelated video calls where the wifi lags just enough to make his reactions delayed.

but he’s still leehan. still your best friend. even if things feel just a little off.

college is easier to adjust to than you expect. you make friends, settle into your classes, get comfortable in your dorm. and then there’s gyuvin. you don’t even remember how you became close, just that at some point, you started hanging out between classes, grabbing lunch together, and sharing inside jokes. he’s fun, easy to talk to, and he ends up in your stories a lot. mostly because he’s always doing something dumb or funny that’s worth posting. stupid gyuvin

at first, leehan doesn’t say anything. he still sends his usual dry texts in response to your stories, things like “what’s wrong with you” or “why are you like this.” but after a while, something shifts. you don’t notice it right away.

he starts replying less.

normally, he’d at least send a reaction, a thumbs-up emoji, something. now, there are times he doesn’t respond at all. your messages sit on read for hours before he eventually texts back with something short, like “nice” or “cool.”

then, during your calls, he starts acting weird.

“so then he tripped over his own feet and nearly took out an entire table,” you say, laughing as you recall something gyuvin did earlier. “i swear, i thought the waiter was gonna kill him.”

silence.

“…leehan?”

“huh?” his voice finally comes through, like he wasn’t paying attention.

“did you even hear what i said?”

“yeah,” he mutters. “your new friend’s an idiot.”

you pause. “uh, okay? i mean, yeah, but that’s what makes it funny.”

leehan doesn’t laugh. he doesn’t even comment. he just hums, the sound flat and unimpressed.

you brush it off. maybe he’s just tired. he’s always been a little weird about expressing things, so you don’t think much of it.

but then it keeps happening.

you bring up something about your day, something involving gyuvin, and leehan either changes the subject or barely reacts. if he does respond, it’s usually a sarcastic remark, something dry like, “wow, amazing. truly groundbreaking.”

at first, you assume it’s just him being his usual self. he’s always had a bit of a deadpan sense of humor (or laughing like crazy on a good day). but when you’re telling a different story about one of your other friends and he actually engages, asks questions, laughs at the funny parts. you start to wonder.

the final straw is when you catch him online but he doesn’t respond to your message. normally, you wouldn’t care. people get busy. you get busy. but then, out of curiosity, you check his recent activity.

he liked a post.

not just any post, but one of your old ones. something from years ago.

you frown and text him again.

you : you good?

this time, he responds instantly.

ihan : yeah. why?

you : you just liked a post from forever ago, dude. what are you doing, scrolling through my account like a stalker?

ihan : nah, just bored.

you narrow your eyes at your screen.

you : then why didn’t you reply earlier?

there’s a long pause before his next message comes through.

ihan : forgot.

you don’t buy it, but you let it go.

it’s not until later, when you’re lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, that you start piecing things together. the short replies. the sarcastic comments. the lack of enthusiasm whenever you mention gyuvin.

no. no way.

he wouldn’t be… jealous. right?

—

it starts with the @’s.

at first, leehan doesn’t think much of it. people tag their friends in posts all the time. it’s normal. you used to tag him in stupid memes, too. but now, every time he sees gyuvin’s name pop up next to yours, something in his stomach twists.

he tells himself it’s just curiosity when he taps on your profile one night, scrolling through your recent posts. your feed is more active than his, full of blurry photos, half-finished thoughts, and videos that make no sense without context. he’s used to it. but now, scattered between everything else, are pictures of you and gyuvin.

one of you two sitting outside some café, drinks in hand, captioned "dude just tried to argue that water isn't wet" with gyuvin in the comments defending himself.

another one from a late-night study session: "brain empty, no thoughts, just suffering (ft. gyuvin)".

a video where you’re both in a convenience store, gyuvin holding up a ridiculous snack combo while you wheeze in the background. "he’s not real. he’s a simulation glitch."

and the worst part. gyuvin tagging you back.

the more leehan scrolls, the worse it gets. the @’s, the inside jokes, the casual "bro" captions that feel like they should be directed at him instead.

his finger hovers over the like button. he should press it. it’s not weird to like your best friend’s posts. he does it all the time.

but now, he can’t bring himself to do it.

instead, he backs out and scrolls down, past all the recent stuff, past college, back to when it was just you and him. old pictures from high school. random posts that barely made sense, stupid things only the two of you understood.

on impulse, he taps one and likes it.

then another.

and another.

he doesn’t even realize how deep he’s gone until a notification pops up.

you: why are you liking posts from two years ago.

leehan stares at the message for a long moment before responding.

ihan: just bored.

there’s an awkward pause before you reply.

you: that’s what you said last time.

he doesn’t have a good excuse, so he ignores it.

but when his phone buzzes again, it’s a call.

leehan hesitates, then picks up.

“dude,” you say immediately. “are you okay?”

“why wouldn’t i be?”

“because you’re acting weird,” you point out. “you keep liking my old posts. and you’re being— i don’t know. different.”

“i’m literally just existing.”

“existing like a stalker?”

“shut up.”

you laugh, and for a second, it’s normal again. for a second, it’s like before, when everything was simple.

but then you say, “anyway, guess what gyuvin did today,” and the feeling shatters.

leehan clicks his tongue. “again?”

you pause. “what do you mean ‘again’?”

“you always bring him up.”

“well, yeah, because i hang out with him,” you say, like it’s obvious. “he’s my friend.”

something about the way you say it makes leehan’s chest tighten.

“must be nice,” he mutters.

“what?”

“nothing.”

but you heard him, and now you’re suspicious. “do you not like him or something?”

leehan scoffs. “i don’t even know him.”

“exactly, so why are you acting weird?”

“i’m not.”

you go quiet, and for a second, he thinks he’s in the clear. but then you say, “wait. are you jealous?”

his entire body tenses. “what.”

“oh my god, you are.”

“no, i’m not.”

“yes, you are.”

“shut up.”

but now you’re laughing again, like this is the funniest thing in the world. like you’ve just cracked some impossible mystery.

“bro,” you wheeze. “you don’t have to be jealous of gyuvin.”

“i’m not,” he insists, even though it’s obviously a lie.

“he’s just a friend.”

“good for you.”

“you’re my best friend.”

leehan blinks.

you say it so casually, like it’s a fact, like it’s something that’s never changed and never will. and for the first time since you left for college, since everything started feeling different, something in him eases.

“…yeah?” he mutters.

“yeah, idiot.”

he doesn’t respond right away. instead, he stares at his screen, at the call timer ticking up, at your contact name.

“okay,” he finally says.

and this time, when you start rambling about your day again, about gyuvin and everything else, he doesn’t feel quite as bad.

—

it happens out of nowhere.

one second, you’re texting leehan about some random thing, and the next, he just casually drops:

ihan: i’m visiting this weekend.

you stare at your phone. blink. reread the message just to make sure you didn’t imagine it.

you: what?? you: since when??

he doesn’t answer right away, which is suspicious in itself.

ihan: idk just felt like it.

“just felt like it” your ass.

leehan is many things, quiet, weird, constantly making comments that don’t match his expression, but impulsive is not one of them. if he’s coming, it’s because he planned it. and if he planned it, that means he’s had this in mind for a while.

not that you’re complaining.

you: dude why didn’t you tell me earlier i need to make plans ihan: don’t make it a big deal you: im literally gonna make it a big deal you: also when are u getting here ihan: friday night you: WILD

it’s not wild. it’s just a normal visit. but you’re excited anyway.

and, because you’re a good friend, you start planning out the weekend.

you already know leehan. he doesn’t like doing things that require too much social energy, so you pick chill places. a late-night convenience store run, a cool little bookstore café, maybe a walk around campus just to show him where you spend most of your time, and ESPECIALLY the local aquarium you’ve been talking all about to him.

you also decide, at some point, that he should meet gyuvin.

it makes sense. leehan’s your best friend, gyuvin’s the person you hang out with the most at college, it’s only right that they meet at least once. plus, gyuvin’s easygoing. he gets along with pretty much everyone.

so, you text him.

you: bro my best friend’s coming this weekend gyuvin: WOOO INTRODUCE ME you: thats the plan gyuvin: SICK

simple. easy. no problems.

and then the weekend arrives.

friday night, you meet leehan at the station. he looks the same as ever, hoodie, messy hair, that neutral expression that only people who know him well can tell is actually content. when he spots you, he just lifts a hand in a casual wave, like he didn’t just travel all the way here to see you.

“you look the same,” you say as a greeting.

“so do you,” he replies.

“hot?”

he stares at you blankly. “sure.”

you laugh, throwing an arm around him as you lead him toward your dorm. he doesn’t shake you off.

it’s good. being with him again. different from texting, from calls. it’s comfortable, familiar, like nothing’s changed even though everything technically has.

he settles into your dorm easily, dropping his bag by the bed and immediately taking your desk chair. you let him because you’re nice.

“so,” you say, sitting on your bed. “i have plans.”

he raises a brow. “for what?”

“us.”

he stares. “why.”

“because you’re visiting, dumbass,” you snort. “we’re not just gonna sit in my dorm all weekend.”

leehan shrugs, like he wouldn’t actually mind that. classic.

“anyway,” you continue, “we’re meeting gyuvin tomorrow.”

something shifts in his face. subtle. but you catch it.

“…okay,” he says.

you squint at him. “you sure?”

“why wouldn’t i be?”

“no reason.”

he doesn’t ask any questions. doesn’t say anything else. just spins lazily in your chair while you move on to another topic.

and that should’ve been your first clue.

—

the next day, you meet up with gyuvin at a café near campus.

you introduce them, grinning. “gyuvin, this is leehan. leehan, gyuvin.”

gyuvin, naturally, is all smiles. “dude, finally! i feel like i know you already with how much he talks about you.”

leehan glances at you. “does he.”

you blink. “…yeah?”

“cute,” gyuvin says, nudging you. “your bestie’s here and suddenly you forget how to function.”

“shut up,” you laugh.

you don’t notice the way leehan’s jaw tightens slightly.

the three of you sit down, and that’s when things start getting weird.

leehan’s… off.

he’s never been the most talkative, sure, but right now, he’s especially quiet. he barely speaks, only responding when necessary, and even then, it’s short.

on top of that, he’s weirdly stiff. like, physically. usually, he slouches or leans into you in that casual way that means he’s comfortable. but right now? he’s sitting way too straight, arms crossed like he’s closed off.

and the worst part? he keeps hovering.

like, subtly sticking close to you. if you shift, he shifts. if you lean forward, he leans forward. at one point, you adjust in your seat, and when your knee accidentally bumps his, he doesn’t move away.

which is weird. because normally, he would.

gyuvin, of course, notices.

he doesn’t say anything outright, but you can tell from the way he keeps glancing at leehan with an amused look, like he’s holding back a comment.

meanwhile, you’re just sitting there, completely clueless.

the conversation moves along, mostly between you and gyuvin, since leehan isn’t adding much. eventually, gyuvin brings up something funny that happened in class, and you start laughing. like, genuinely laughing. the kind that makes you lean into the person next to you without thinking.

and that person just so happens to be leehan.

you don’t realize what you’re doing until you feel him go rigid.

like, absolutely frozen.

you blink, looking at him. “uh. you good?”

“fine,” he mutters.

but his expression is unreadable, and his ears are slightly red.

before you can question it, gyuvin smirks. “yo, leehan.”

leehan finally looks at him, raising a brow.

“not much of a talker, huh?”

“…no.”

“respect,” gyuvin nods. “but also, i feel like you secretly have a lot of thoughts right now.”

“do i.”

gyuvin leans forward, grinning. “yeah. like, i dunno, maybe about me?”

there’s a beat of silence.

you’re about to tell gyuvin to stop being weird when leehan, completely deadpan, just says, “who knows.”

you choke on your drink.

gyuvin bursts out laughing. “yo. that’s crazy. insane even.”

leehan just sips his coffee like nothing happened.

you stare at him. then at gyuvin, who looks way too entertained by all of this. then back at leehan.

“…am i missing something?”

gyuvin wipes a fake tear. “nah, man. everything’s good.”

“you guys are weird,” you mutter.

but even as the conversation continues, even as things settle, you can’t shake the feeling that something’s up.

and, if gyuvin’s knowing smirk is anything to go by, he knows exactly what it is.

—

it’s not like you meant to ditch leehan.

it just kind of… happened.

you have a big exam coming up, and gyuvin’s in the same class, so you planned a study session in advance. it’s not like you can just not study. even if leehan is visiting, your grades still matter.

so, when saturday morning rolls around, you hesitate before telling him.

“hey, i gotta study with gyuvin for a bit today,” you say. “big test next week.”

leehan looks up from his phone. “okay.”

you wait for something else, maybe a when will you be back or an i’ll come with you, but he just nods and goes back to scrolling.

you frown. “…you sure?”

“yeah.”

he doesn’t look mad. doesn’t look anything, really. just neutral, as always.

so you assume it’s fine.

and then you leave.

abd the study session goes longer than expected.

it’s not your fault that gyuvin’s just distracting. he keeps making jokes, finding random excuses to stop working, and pulling you into stupid conversations that have nothing to do with the exam.

but, somehow, you actually manage to get stuff done.

by the time you check your phone, it’s already past sunset. you decide to pack up and grab your things while gyuvin fills up his water bottle.

you: bro i lost track of time you: i should go gyuvin: u should but also should u you: what gyuvin: idk it just feels like someone might be mad you: …what are you talking about gyuvin: nothing lol

you squint at your screen, confused.

but you brush it off and start heading back to your dorm.

—

when you get there, leehan is sitting on your bed, hoodie up, scrolling on his phone.

he doesn’t look up when you walk in.

“yo,” you say, dropping your bag. “you eat yet?”

“yeah.”

short. simple. cold.

���weird.

you glance at him. “what’d you get?”

“food.”

okay. even weirder.

you raise a brow. “alright, what’s up with you?”

“nothing.”

“you’re being weird.”

“i’m always weird.”

“…you’re being extra weird.”

no response.

you step closer, tilting your head. “seriously, what’s wrong?”

he exhales, still not looking at you.

then, after a pause, he mutters, “someone seems to be having fun with their new best friend.”

…huh?

you blink. “what?”

he shrugs.

shrugs. like he didn’t just say that.

you stare at him, processing. then, slowly…

he’s jealous. again

“wait,” you say, a grin forming. “are you—”

“no.”

“you don’t even know what i was gonna say.”

“don’t need to.”

you squint. “you’re jealous.”

“no.”

“you so are.”

he finally looks up, well, almost. he still doesn’t meet your eyes, gaze fixed somewhere near your shoulder. but his hoodie strings are wrapped around his fingers, and his ears, his ears, are turning red.

which means one thing.

you got him.

you grin wider. “dude. you are jealous.”

“i’m not.”

“you totally are.”

“no.”

“yes.”

he tugs at his hoodie strings, cheeks slightly puffed. “i don’t care.”

“you so care.”

he presses his lips together, glaring at his phone like it personally offended him.

you sit on the bed next to him, nudging his knee. “c’mon, just admit it.”

silence.

then, after a moment—

“…you were gone all day.”

your smile falters slightly.

because now he really sounds upset.

you sigh. “i told you i had to study.”

“you still left.”

“dude.” you nudge him again. “you could’ve come.”

he finally meets your eyes. “and third-wheel?”

“…wow. so you are jealous.”

he groans, pulling his hoodie strings tighter. “shut up.”

you laugh. “nah, this is funny.”

“it’s not.”

“it is.”

he exhales sharply, slumping a little.

you poke his arm. “leehan.”

he doesn’t answer.

“leehan.”

nothing.

“leehan.”

he finally looks at you, deadpan. “what.”

you grin. “you’re my best friend, dumbass.”

his fingers loosen around his hoodie strings.

“…whatever,” he mumbles.

but his ears are still red.

—

the next night is nice in your dorm room, the kind of night where the world outside feels far away, muffled by the thick walls and the faint hum of your laptop. you’re sitting on your bed, the soft glow of your desk lamp illuminating the space, while leehan lounges in the chair next to your desk, absentmindedly scrolling through his phone.

the room is cozy, just enough space for the two of you to settle into your own little world. it’s been a long day of classes, but it’s nice to have time to just... chill.

you glance over at him, noticing how he seems a little more distant than usual (well this IS the new usual since he’s been nothong but jealous this trip). his usual carefree attitude is hidden behind that familiar quiet, and it doesn’t take long for you to realize that something’s been off ever since this afternoon.

you hadn’t brought gyuvin up after the weird moment earlier, the tension between the two is too thick. but now that you’re alone with him, it feels like the right time to talk.

“hey,” you start, casually flipping through your notebook as you lean back against your pillows. “everything okay?”

he looks up from his phone, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment before he looks away, a hint of something unreadable flashing across his face.

“yeah, just... tired,” he mutters, his voice low. he doesn’t say anything more, clearly not wanting to elaborate, but you’re not fooled. you’ve known leehan long enough to know when something’s bothering him.

you don’t push it right away, though. instead, you let the silence stretch for a few more moments, letting him process whatever he’s feeling. but when you catch him staring at his phone again, his thumb hovering over the screen as if he’s unsure whether to send something, you can’t help but ask.

“what’s that?”

leehan freezes for just a second before he shoves his phone into his pocket.

“nothing,” he says quickly, looking at you with a forced smile. “just... uh, texting gyuvin. nothing important.”

you raise an eyebrow at him, a teasing smile tugging at your lips. “texting gyuvin, huh? since when are you two texting each other so much?”

his face flushes just slightly, and you can’t help but notice the way he shifts uncomfortably in the chair.

“we’re just... trying to be friends,” he says, clearly making an effort to sound casual, but his tone gives away more than he means to. you catch a glimpse of the jealousy that lingers just beneath the surface.

you tilt your head, trying to make sense of it all. you’ve never seen leehan act like this before. not with anyone else, at least. you know he’s been distant, but this... this is different. there’s something more to it, something he’s not saying.

he has to be lying. but about what?

before you can ask any more questions, his phone buzzes in his pocket. he pulls it out quickly, his eyes scanning the screen as he reads the message.

you lean forward slightly, curious to see who it is. he doesn’t seem to notice, or maybe he just doesn’t care anymore, because he leaves the screen facing you for a moment before he types something back.

you read the name on the message: gyuvin

he’s telling the truth

you can’t help but smile a little, knowing exactly what this is. leehan’s been acting all weird because he’s jealous of gyuvin. it’s funny, in a way, how obvious it is.

but then something strange happens. leehan, in his hurry to send the message, accidentally taps on the wrong thread and sends the text to you instead of gyuvin.

you glance down at the screen, your eyes widening slightly as you read the message.

“hey, just letting you know, no one could ever replace y/n. i know i’m being weird, but i just... i don’t like sharing them with anyone else. i know it sounds stupid, but i don’t want anyone getting too close.”

you blink, processing what you’ve just read. you look up at leehan, who’s staring at his phone, completely oblivious to the fact that he’s just sent you that message.

your heart skips a beat.

“leehan,” you say softly, and his head snaps up at the sound of your voice.

“what?” he asks, his tone still casual, though you can tell he’s trying to hide his nerves.

“you sent me something,” you say, holding your phone up so he can see the screen. “and i think you meant to send it to gyuvin.”

his face goes pale for a second before he stammers, trying to backtrack. “oh... uh, no, it’s fine. i didn’t mean—i mean, it doesn’t matter.”

but you can tell it matters. the way his hands tighten around his phone, the way his eyes won’t meet yours. it’s clear he didn’t mean to be so... honest.

you smile softly, not wanting to make him feel too embarrassed, but also feeling a warmth spread in your chest. this is the leehan you know—the one who hides his feelings behind sarcasm and awkwardness.

“leehan,” you say gently, setting your phone down on the bed beside you. “it’s okay. i get it.”

he fidgets in his seat, not knowing what to say next. “i... i just don’t want to lose you, okay? i know i’m being dumb. it’s just... i don’t like sharing you with anyone.”

you pause for a moment, letting his words sink in. it’s not just about gyuvin; it’s about you and him, and the friendship that’s been there for so long. he’s scared of losing you, and that fear has been eating at him.

you lean forward, giving him a reassuring look. “leehan, you don’t have to worry about that. no one could ever replace you. you’re... you’re my best friend. no one else is going to take that away.”

he looks at you, his expression softening as the tension in his shoulders melts away. “yeah?”

you nod, smiling. “yeah.”

there’s a long pause, but it’s comfortable, and after a moment, leehan reaches over, grabbing his phone again. this time, he’s not texting gyuvin. instead, he opens the camera app and snaps a quick picture of the two of you sitting in the room, your faces caught in a moment of quiet understanding.

he pauses for a second, then types something out before posting it. you can’t help but peek over his shoulder.

it’s a simple caption: still the favorite, obviously

you laugh, shaking your head. “you’re such an oddball.”

leehan shrugs, a small grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “only for you,” he says, and this time, there’s no hiding the warmth in his voice.

you’re still smiling when he stands up to leave, but before he heads out the door, he stops and turns around.

“you’re not going anywhere, right?” he asks, his voice quieter now, almost as if he’s afraid of the answer.

you shake your head, standing up to walk him to the door. “no, leehan. i’m not going anywhere.”

he gives you a small smile, and with that, he leaves, the door clicking softly behind him.

you sit back down on your bed, feeling a sense of contentment settle over you. everything’s okay again. you’ve got your best friend back. no one’s going anywhere. and somehow, that’s all that matters.

~

tysm for reading :>

bnd taglist : @bxnedo

perm taglist : @s0shroe @minoouz

[maitimosrighthand]

When you beat them in a fight

( COD )

Same goes here as always:

- Question at the end

- I do not speak Eng as my native language and do not correct me I hold 0 respect for the language

- feel free to send COD memes to my asking box: I will rate them

He had miscalculated many situations before. Not that he wanted to that is. No he was sure he never wanted it. He was always sure to know who he was going up against.

Yet for some reason it seemed that he missed something about you. You were merely a rookie who had started at this base and was for some reason in the group he was supposed to train today.

He had observed you when you trained with the others. You weren’t too strong. But little did he know that it was only because you didn’t want to hurt your teammates.

…

1. Alejandro Vargas 🌵

was confused to say the least

Wanted to go a bit easier on you and tried to grab your arm

When he was tackled to the ground he didn’t get why he was unable to get up

Didn’t want to admit defeat so he suddenly kicked you very very hard

Never actually apologized for anything

He did ask you for a rematch which he won

When you then quickly rose up to the top of your rookie class he challenged you again

~

He hurriedly took a step back. You were way too fast for him, he had realized. He was unable to form a proper plan before you swept him of his feet and pinned him down. When he laid on the ground he could only stare up in shock. A rookie? Beating him? He had tried to move you but you wouldn’t even budge a centimeter. He had heard Rodolfo just laughing in the background, as you saw him getting money put into his hand by a general. Did he just bet against me?!

He respected you more after that and just maybe for some reason you had training with him more often after that. At least 3x a week until you had private lessons with him.

2. Rodolfo Para 🦭

Was just put there to help you because Alejandro thought you were too weak to go onto the mission in a week

Thought you were simply mentally not ready and had a talk with you before the training

When he was getting ready to receive your blow he did not expect it to be so hard

He had not shielded himself properly and was now there with a bleeding nose

You had apologized but he was just so impressed by you

Will show you off to Ale 🌵

~

He had, ever since you‘ve beaten him, bet every time on your win. He had even sweet talked you into getting into those fighting bets that were pretty often among rookies. „Why are you betting on him“ Alejandro had asked him. „You‘ll see.“ Is all he would answer him. Before once again wining the 30th bet in a row with you.

He is not sharing any off it.

3. Simon Riley ( Ghost ) 💀

Took over Soap‘s rookie training because he overslept

Beat up everyone

But you where a hard nut to crack

Your fight took almost half an hour

Was surprised to see you not getting tired from fighting for so long

Was most likely distracted by the fact that you managed to lay serveral punches

~

It was certainly not normal for a fight to take that long. When Ghost finally decided he was getting tired of it he had wanted the fight to end. It took him way too long to realize that you were also in for the end. Your last punch hit him like a truck in the face causing his nose to actually bleed. Not that you could see it. After that he proceeded to be harsh with you, always making you do more than the others. „Come on solider. You can do more.“ he had said while pressing his foot down harder on your back. Well if you could beat him … might as well do 100 pushups with some weight no. That ways maybe just his way of showing you his respect. Ever since you had one more dessert. Strange. Is that his way of saying sorry?

4. John McTavish ( Soap ) 🧼

Was not too good of a fighter anyways

Tried to simply mock you

You took that personal not understanding the joke

Your ego was one thing

He wanted to show you how to punch someone properly bc you have been doing it half heartedly

When he then said you should prove you learned it in a fight

It was time for revenge

~

He barely had time to register what was happening before you landed the „you should learn this punch“ in his stomach. He did teach it to you. Soap had fallen to the ground after and hit it a couple of times. Eating before fighting is not good kids. And soap learned it first hand. He would keep his distance afterwards but ofc after one apology you both would spar from time to time. What really stressed you out through would be when he let you fight against the whole 141 Team. „Are you kidding me.“ „No, no, try it simon.“

5. Kyle Garrick ( Gaz ) 🦜

Price had wanted him to learn how to train some rookies

So he gave him you as an opportunity to learn

You now had private lessons

You got along fairly well

Little did he know that beside their training you also trained yourself

So when the time came he said you‘d spar

You were a bit underestimated

~

It should have been an easy win for Gaz. He may not be as strong as ghost. But he sure was fast. Yet when you grabbed him and he was unable to move at all, that was when he panicked. He may be well with stress but you came way too unexpected. It had taken him a few seconds to process and that was when you threw him to the ground.

Congratulations was all that followed. Gaz could not stop fawning over you after. Even going as far as to ask you for advice on his training. „Maybe we should train together.“ Yay. Training with your trainer. No stress at all.

6. Captain John Price 🪙

Only reason you may fight him: the others lost to you

He would hear it either from Soap or Gaz really

So when he had the chance he asked you to spar

Old man bones is what held you back at first

But after you lost the first match you were no longer scared of that

So you went ape shit

No more games

~

Price was harder. Years of training and experience made it impossible for you to beat him at anything. „I think he is losing.“ „Nooo I bet on him, go come on!“ Perhaps they had been wrong and you just got lucky. „Come one soldier. At least try.“ is what he said mockingly as a joke. What he did not expect was you tackling him to the ground after he gave you a hard punch. Did you not feel that?! Him falling to the ground was surprising. „Pay up Ghost.“

After that you were unable to flee from this man. Any chance he had he would ask you to joint his team.He was like a „ghost“ hunting you.

[alltimecharlo]

Girl Mack where she’s always been a bit of a tomboy/butch so she’s never really gotten male attention before.

so she honestly has no idea Will is flirting with her, maybe no idea she’s actually gone on like 50 dates with him and he just thinks she wants to take it really slow and isn’t a totally oblivious moron

awh cute, love this anon!! fic under the cut 🩵☺️

Mack doesn’t think it’s a date.

She doesn’t. Honestly. It’s just Will. Will who texts her constantly, even when they’ve been at the rink together all morning. Will who sends her weird little memes at midnight, who always saves her a seat on the plane, who insists she tries bites of whatever he’s ordered like she’s ever said no to food in her life.

It’s Will, who smiles like it’s personal every time he looks at her, but Mack’s never been good at reading that kind of thing. Guys don’t look at her that way. Not usually. Or ever, really.

She’s always been too — something.

Too broad-shouldered. Too sharp-edged. Too into skates and sticks and backwards snapbacks. She used to wear eyeliner in junior but it always sweated off under her cage and nobody noticed except her mom, who said she looked tired anyway.

So she doesn’t think it’s a date, because dates happen to girls who are a little easier, who wear cropped tops and know how to smile just right when someone makes a joke. Mack’s good at chirps and zone entries. She can flip a puck onto the blade of her stick and toss it into the net blind. She cannot — for the life of her — tell if a guy’s hitting on her.

Which is why she says yes when Will texts her on a Thursday night, Hey wanna get burgers?

She replies, Sure.

He adds, Pick you up at 6?

She thinks it’s weird, because they usually just meet places. But whatever. She doesn’t mind the ride.

She throws on jeans and a hoodie over top. Pulls her hair back into a low bun and debates putting on mascara before deciding against it. They’re just gonna eat. It’s not like he’ll notice.

(He always notices. She doesn’t know that yet.)

Will shows up at her apartment wearing a soft-looking green sweater and a grin that should probably be illegal. He smells like laundry detergent and something warmer underneath it, like citrus and whatever cologne he wears sometimes after practice. It’s… nice. It’s kind of a lot, actually.

“Hey,” he says, and his eyes sweep over her for a second — not in a weird way, just like he’s checking if she’s okay. “You look good.”

She laughs. “I look like I’ve worn this exact outfit three times this week.”

“And yet you still look good,” Will says, and opens the passenger door for her.

Mack stares at it. “What are you doing?”

“Holding the door open?”

She blinks. “I have arms.”

He grins. “I noticed.”

She slides into the seat, vaguely confused, and mutters a thanks under her breath.

The burger place is one of those fancy casual joints, with milkshakes in mason jars and truffle fries in little tin pails. Will orders for both of them because he ‘already knows what she’ll get,’ and, annoyingly, he’s right. Bacon cheddar, extra pickles, no tomato.

Mack frowns across the table. “How’d you know that?”

“You’ve gotten the same order the last four times we’ve been here.”

They’ve been here four times?

“You sure you’re not the one stalking me?” she jokes, sipping from his milkshake without asking, because she always does and he never minds.

Will just smiles. “Wouldn’t have to stalk you if you just said yes to a real date.”

She snorts. “Yeah, okay.”

Will raises his brows. “What do you mean, yeah okay?”

“You wouldn’t actually want to go on a date with me.”

He’s quiet for a second. Long enough that Mack looks up, fry halfway to her mouth.

“Why not?” he asks, and he’s not smiling anymore.

She shrugs, a little uncomfortable. “Because I’m not, like, a — I don’t know. The kind of girl people date.”

“You’re the kind of girl I date.”

That makes her freeze.

Will leans in, slow and steady, like he’s trying not to spook a scared animal. “Mack. What do you think we’ve been doing for the past few weeks?”

She blinks.

“Seriously. We’ve been to dinner. To the beach. You came with me to that Bauer shoot and I took you to that concert after.”

“You had tickets,” she says weakly.

“Yeah. For a date.”

“I thought you just didn’t want to go alone!”

Will laughs, sudden and loud, then covers his face with both hands. “Oh my God. You are actually—this is insane. You’ve been on, like, six dates with me.”

She opens her mouth. Closes it again.

“You thought I just liked… feeding you burgers and buying you concert merch?”

She shrinks in her seat. “I mean. Kind of?”

Will reaches across the table and takes her hand. Just wraps his fingers around hers like it’s easy. Like he’s done it a hundred times.

(He’s thought about it more than a hundred times.)

“Mack. You’re beautiful,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re funny, you’re kind of mean, you’re good at stupid Mario Kart shortcuts and you listen when I talk about stupid stuff. I like being with you. I want to be with you. And I thought — I thought you were taking things slow.”

Mack swallows, staring down at their hands. Her skin’s rougher than his. Callused in all the places he’s smooth. But he’s holding on anyway.

“I didn’t know you meant it like that,” she says quietly.

“I did,” Will murmurs. “Still do.”

She looks up at him. And he’s smiling. Soft, a little sheepish, but sure.

“Is this… is this still a date?” she asks, because she doesn’t want to get it wrong again.

Will squeezes her fingers. “Only if you want it to be.”

And Mack—well, she’s never been good at this stuff. But she knows what she wants.

So she says, “Yeah. I want it to be.”

Will beams, and for the first time in her life, Mack feels like maybe she is the kind of girl people fall for.

♡

[crownmemes]

Advice; Everyone Should Be Making the First Move

There's been a trend within the rpc here for years now where nobody is willing to make the first move. The problem with this is that if nobody ever makes the first move, then nobody is ever going to write anything. Considering that, everybody should be making an effort to be the first one to reach out to their writing partners more often.

Examples of making the first move:

Sending an IM to say hi, then suggesting a plot

Sending a meme to start a new thread

Responding to starter calls and open starters

All of this is just as valid for old partners as it is for new. If you haven't written with someone in a while, maybe it's time to reach out to start a new thread?

The most common reason I see for people not making the first move is social anxiety. I'm going to give you all a bit of tough love here: speaking as somebody who once had crippling social anxiety (and still does in irl settings), the best way to overcome it is to push yourself to try the things that make you anxious.

Communicating with people is a really important part of rp because it's not a solo hobby, therefore you are going to have to talk to people at some point. It's unavoidable. Here are a few reminders to help you feel a little less nervous:

If somebody follows back, they're doing it because they're interested in writing with you. They are not going to be upset if you send them an IM with plot ideas

Most people are friendly! In 12 years of rping on this site, I can count on one hand the number of people who I've talked to that were actively rude to me

It's okay if someone says no to you! People have different styles and not all of them will work together. If someone says no, say thank you for the consideration, then move on. There are more people to write with out there

If somebody is nasty to you, you can block them. Don't be afraid to do this; you don't have to explain yourself, and you wouldn't want to write with someone who's rude to you anyway

If you're not sure what to say, I usually go with a version of "Hello! Thank you for following/following back! I've looked through your rules and about pages. Would you be interested in plotting something for X and my character, Y? I have an idea already, if you would like to hear?"

Don't just say "Hi!". Cut to the chase and tell them why you're messaging so they immediately know what the conversation is about

Reasons why it's good to message first:

You look actively interested in writing. This is a huge boost in your favour when it comes to asking to write with someone

It makes it a lot easier to get new interactions

It makes you appear more active

If you're a new blog, you won't have a lot of examples of your writing on your blog yet. People will be more willing to give you a chance if you approach them first

If you don't message first, you are likely to be waiting a long time before somebody messages you

It's easier to make friends if you have an active conversation!

Some other thoughts on messaging first:

You have followed the person because you are interested in writing with them. Think about why you are interested, and suggest this as a plot idea

Make sure you read through the rules still. It's very obvious when you haven't. Also, look through the muses on offer so you can suggest which you'd like to write with

If the rules say they're not mutuals only, or that you're welcome to IM to introduce yourself if you want to plot, don't be afraid to message. They wouldn't have put that in their rules if they didn't mean it

If someone is reblogging memes, it's because they want to write responses to them. Send them in! If they didn't want them sent in, they wouldn't have reblogged the meme

IMing to plot is often a better idea than liking a starter call or sending memes if you have never interacted with the person before. It gives you a chance to work out what kind of thread would work well before you start something, so the resulting thread has a lower chance of fizzling out quickly

However, all that being said, it's not just up to the person messaging first to make all the effort. If the receiver doesn't put any effort in in return, then the person making the first move is going to think they aren't interested. Eventually, they may give up messaging people at all, because what's the point if it never goes anywhere? Some tips for not seeming uninterested:

If someone IMs you, try to reply to them in a timely fashion. Especially try to reply to them if they sent you a plot idea. You don't have to agree to do the idea - it's just very annoying to be ghosted the second you actually start plotting

Suggest your own plot ideas in return, or build on the idea that the other person has given you

If you agree to write a starter, or one is written for you, follow through with it. Write the starter, reply to the thread. If it's going to take a while, let your writing partner know that you've seen it but you're going to be slow for a while

Similarly, if you post memes, reply to the ones people send you. If you never reply, people will pick up on this and eventually stop sending you things

If you go on hiatus, message your writing partners directly when you get back to let them know you'd like to write again. This will demonstrate that you really are active and ready to write again

[genericpuff]

i had a post in the works talking about some of my personal life shit and the things i'm looking to do with rekindled this year to help make personal life shit easier aaand then i fell asleep for a nap and when i woke up Rachel announced that LO was ending in less than 10 episodes ??

sooo yeah i'm officially saving that post for later, because LO is officially ending, with an actual end date. It does mean that it's not ending at the start of Spring like my initial prediction, which is a bummer (because that would have been really cool LMAOOO) but it does mean it gets to go on long enough to resolve the current plot arc. As for every other plotline in the story... yeah, those aren't getting wrapped up, at least not in any way that could be satisfying.

For over the last year LO has been a series of "wait seriously???" and this is yet another, though it's kind of different this time. We knew the end was coming and practically begging for Rachel to pick an end date because for many, following along with this comic has become a Sisyphean task week after week. It's bittersweet in a way, but . . . I also kinda don't feel anything? Maybe it's just my 'tism, maybe it's just the fact that I'm so tired of following this series, but I just... don't feel joy, but I don't feel dread. It's ending and that's that. As all things come and go in life, some day there won't be any more LO, and that day is May 11th.

I will miss the weekly readalongs that I would do with pals, the memes we'd make out of the new material, but I don't think I'm going to miss the comic and everything it said and did. At this point reading LO feels like watching a horse struggle to breathe and you're just begging the farmer to put it out of its misery, but the farmer thinks "No no, it'll be fine! It'll get back up in no time!" and it's like... no, it desperately needs to be put to rest 💀

I still have my two drafts stowed away, both on opposing sides of the fence depending on how LO turns out-

-and now we finally have an end date on when those essays will be written.

I don't know how I feel yet about it ending. These are complicated feelings to sort through regarding a comic that's basically been my life for the last few years, even before I turned into a critic of it. I'm just glad there's a light at the end of the tunnel. And I'm glad even my "love to hate it" energy has been waning on it the past few weeks anyways so that the end of it all can feel as painless as possible LOL Don't get me wrong, there will still be plenty to discuss after the comic, I don't think the antiLO/ULO community will just disappear into a puff of smoke as soon as LO is over, but I think a lot of us are also equally relieved that the comic made it this easy to stop reading and that it now has an end point.

And most of all, I'm hoping that whatever ending the comic brings, even if it just winds up being the S2 finale all over again for the critics, is still satisfying for the fans who have stuck around with it this long. The people who have loved this comic through it all at least deserve a proper send-off and I really hope Rachel gives it to them.

As for me... I'm not going anywhere, but it's been nice to stuff the overflowing clothes of LO back into its drawer within my brain. I want to make room for other drawers, other things, other pieces of work that will undoubtedly bring me more joy and entertainment. I don't know what yet, but it's nice to know the drawers aren't overflowing anymore.

And that's all I'm gonna say on that.

[ai-art-thieves]

So there’s this account “salibadati” who takes commissions but is also regularly posting stolen meme content (often art by others) and tag spamming it with “my art” when it clearly isn’t.

Also has a commission example that is a trace of official art by companies too. Known to take commissions but then ask for more money in order to send the art. Those who do get the commission may end up with art that’s been traced. Never refunds anyone and does the usual thing of messaging people and asking for a commission and pressuring them to send more money if they already paid.

Tag spam is more annoying than a straight up crime.

...but the straight up scamming?

Surprisingly well documented.

Shout out to @rhys-ravenfeather, @kyra45, @titans-kanza, @murmel-malt, @asteriawisteriaxp, and @loser-brain for all of this info. Makes my job a hell of a lot easier.

[dvasva]

honestly... nonsexual intimacy or queer platonic stuff squicks me out a bit. i am aromantic, and i know there are other aromantic people who arent this way, but the idea of a queer platonic relationship is deeply unappealing to me. i dont engage in romantic relationships because that level of emotional intimacy with another person is deeply uncomfortable for me. i guess romantic relationships were tolerable to me during my university days cause at least there was sex there and i generally enjoy having sex, despite not really being attracted to people. it sounds kinda callous, but taking sex out of the equation and making the dynamic platonic but still having those big feelings and connections... i know its a thing other aromantics enjoy that kind of intimacy with another person but im so deeply uncomfortable with the idea of like. that level of dedication and intimacy with another person.

i get a little annoyed on occasion on this website because i feel like a lot of times, the idea of aromanticism is only tolerable to people when it looks like a person who puts more value into platonic connection than romantic, and rarely is aromantic also sexual in these contexts. a queer platonic relationship is kinda also... asexual. maybe it doesnt look that way in you and your qpr partners specific life, but i always get the vibe that aromantics are not acceptable to talk about unless we also reject sex, unless we desire close and intimate relationships that mimic and replace romance rather than rejecting the idea entirely. it is a bit frustrating cause its acompanying this rise of puritanical thinking nowadays. if you admit to liking sex, some kid is gonna come quote bible verses in your inbox without realizing theyre spouting bible verses cause theyre just that against sex.

it does feel like im at a disadvantage here in life tbh. its easier when youre married or deeply involved with another person to start a life in the way they want to. people are always gonna look at me like im lonely when im genuinely not. married people get tax benefits and are treated nicer in places, given preferencial treatement. and, yknow. i have to deal with the endless 'youre just jealous cause your single' 'have fun being single' train. as if me being single is not by choice. It does such especially because im not childfree. one day i do want to have kids, but being single by choice makes everyone give u the stinkeye for a whole host of reasons. anyways.

i like casual relationships, ones where we go out on dates every few weeks, hook up, then go back to our lives. maybe send memes or act like friends. im really truly not interested in like a... deep emotional connection to someone else, whether that be romantic or platonic. i have friends, and we can get cuddly and close sometimes, but even though i love my friends, they are friends. They dont hold some special, pseudo-romantic position in my life. they are friends, just like how romantic couples have friends with other people. i regard them as friends, and i dont really see a need to expand upon that in some special way.

honestly the best 'romantic' relationships ive ever been in were as polyamorous peoples secondary or tertiary partner.

feel free to interact with this post however you want. go on your own tangents, change the subject, etc etc.

[the-red-thread-that-strangles]

As requested, sending the Yamahiro ask for the Only One Bed meme separate. <3

Hello. It is me. The resident 'only one bed' enjoyer :) Thank you for tuning in to another show on the same channel. Today's episode: Sweater Weather AU, yamahiro edition

Thank you for sending in the ask, PT <3 I apologise that it took me so long; life got in the way.

Morofushi Hiromitsu had a lot of plans for the evening, many among them accomplished successfully thanks to Zero's cooperation.

Decidedly not on the list? Stumbling drunkenly into a love hotel with Micchan. He's not complaining, of course, but it's still not how he would have expected the night to go. And he really likes to be plan ahead to be prepared, if he can.

Oh well. Working with Zero, he's had to learn to adapt and overcome, and that's just what he will do, he thinks, while paying for a room like this for the first time since his cover was blown.

How did it come to this?

It all started half an hour ago, as it often does, with a joke: "I'm too tired to go home. Would you check out a love hotel with me?," followed quickly by an: "I've only ever seen them on TV." Hiro, who's used them as inconspicuous meeting places before, didn't mind, and so, somehow, he ended up getting dragged through some less-than-reputable back alleys by Micchan.

But if he's really thinking about it, Hiro muses as he enters into a pink-plush hell hallway, maybe it started a few months ago, while Zero was busy wrapping up the syndicate case (and dealing with his rather obvious crush on Rye-Moroboshi-Akai).

Or, if he's really honest with himself, the foundation might be even older, some two decades, give or take. In those carefree summers in Nagano, back when they were just kids running around in a forest without supervision, competing for who would catch the most valuable bugs. Not that it ever really mattered; they'd split the money on sweets and cooled drinks anyways.

It's hard to grasp these memories nowadays; the fleeting scent of peach blossoms and the buzzing of cicadas at dusk, overcast by the ever-present shadow of death that ripped the two of them apart. But lately, Hiro thinks, it's been easier - to breathe, and to remember.

Partly, it might be because he's back; in Tokyo, with Zero, back to work. His parents' murderer has been brought to justice. The Syndicate that has suffocated them for years has crumbled. And if he's honest, it's probably also in part because Micchan's smile is just as bright as it was, back then. It's not hard to remember when a reminder beams at you in boundless joy.

It's impressive, to see Micchan has kept his enthusiasm somehow; sure, he's still the same old scaredy-cat who wears his heart on his sleeve, but despite the things he's seen - and you don't become Inspector, unless you've seen some shit - he's still proudly doing his job, trying to help where he can.

Hiro can't help but look at him fond. Some people never change, and sometimes, that is for the best.

It's fascinating, how easily Micchan took to seeing him again, how accepting he has been. Some days, Hiro doesn't know who he is anymore; torn between Scotch and Hiromitsu, and even the three years as ever-pleasant car salesman John Smith have left its mark. He'd like to think he's changed quite drastically; but it makes no difference to Micchan, who happily hangs on to his side, eagerly burying his fingers in the red plush of the elevator.

"Oh, you have to feel how soft it is, Hiro-chan!," Micchan exclaims excitedly, and despite his objections - who knows what people do in an elevator in this sort of establishment, cameras be damned - Hiro finds himself testing the fabric. Its velvety texture really is soothing, letting his fingertips dip easily into the material. It's the sort of softness that would leave his fingers numb if he touched it for too long; but thankfully, the elevator doors open soon enough, revealing the second floor hallway.

Not as classy as what he was hoping for, judging by the establishment's name; but it's fun enough to get dragged deepe into The Study Room's depths by Micchan. Apparently Micchan's curiosity got the better of him, and he's regained some of his energy. His gaze is flitting back and forth, looking at the numbers, counting, taking in the advertisements along the way. It's way too cute, the way Micchan's eyes widen and a short gasp escapes him upon seeing a particularly revealing outfit - a parody of a policeman with way too tight shorts, Hiro notes with amusement.

It's unclear whether the flush on Micchan's cheeks is from embarrassment, or interest. He does, after all, take great pride in his occupation, and that's a clear defilement of the uniform. Something worth keeping in mind, Hiro muses.

Finally, they arrive at their room for the night; Micchan tries to snag the key card from his hands, but perhaps he's really had too much to drink. Instead of holding on to it, he loses grip on the card as he pulls back, and almost stumbles backwards into the doorframe with too much force. Hiro just barely manages to draw him back into his chest in time to avoid an accident. Micchan might have a thick skull, but the edge of the doorframe looks rather sturdy. Hm, better not to think about it too hard. It worked out, after all.

"If you wanted a hug, all you had to do was ask." Hiro grins and squeezes Micchan, easily opening the door behind the other's back. The scent of roses escapes through the doorway, sweet, but not overpoweringly so.

Hiro lifts his companion up, and backwards over the threshold; it's easy, though not as easy as carrying Zero or Rye. Micchan, for a change among his friends, seems to be eating well, and that's a relief and a half.

He does feel just a little bit evil when Micchan yelps at losing his footing - not enough to stop, mind you. Instead, he drops his charge on the positively enormous double bed, and uses his disorientation to lock the door behind them. Out of habit, he checks the bathroom to make sure they really are alone, and keeps an eye out for the reflections of cameras and any unexplained wires that could belong to listening devices.

He's not too worried; he didn't book a visit here in advance, and if he didn't know he'd be here, he doubts anyone else could have predicted it either. Besides, he's armed and Zero put a tracker on him a while ago. If anything was to happen, he'd be found quickly. But, one can never be too careful.

He returns from his sweep of the bathroom, pleased to find Micchan similarly at work, inspecting the different nooks and crannies of the room. Although his interest might be of a different nature, his curiosity would surely lead him to stumble across hidden cameras and bugs just as well.

"Found anything interesting?," he asks, and it's definitely the padded floor's fault that Micchan jumps as if Hiro just snuck up on him deliberately.

Well. He might have. It's so easy to fluster Micchan, and he's too cute when he's flustered.

"Eek-" Micchan swats at him in disapproval. "Hiro-chan, stop haunting me! You're not a ghost." In an apparent attempt to prove his claim, he pinches Hiro's arm, just enough to make him wince. "Ghosts are not real." He nods to himself, apparently satisfied with his test.

"Alright, alright, I yield." Hiro raises his hands in surrender, but can't help the smile. It's good to know he's still got it.

Micchan grins at him, the scare easily forgotten and forgiven. "Good."

He rummages through the bedside drawers, producing a remote. "Honestly, this room isn't nearly as interesting as I thought it would be. They always make it seem so scandalous, on TV." He shakes his head in disappointment. "All you can do in here is dim the lights and watch late night TV. How boring." He yawns like a cat, stretches up to the tips of his toes.

"Maybe we should just go to sleep. It's been a long night." It seems like a reasonable proposal to Hiro; he's already paid for several hours in anticipation of this. Getting home now would just be tiresome.

"We should. There's just one problem," Micchan points out, apparently struck by a thought. "There's only one bed." He sits down at its edge, gently bouncing up and down.

"So? It's a double bed. Surely you won't banish me to the floor?" Hiro does his best to look aghast; granted, the floor is also carpeted, but he would really rather sleep in a bed than down there.

"I- no, of course not, but... you know how this goes, right?" Micchan laces his fingers into each other, and determinedly does not look Hiro in the eye. "It's a popular trope. If two people who, you know, are fond of each other, share a bed, something is bound to happen!"

Ah. So that's what he's worried about. Hiro squats down in front of him, to meet him at eye level. To test the waters, he puts a hand on top of Micchan's. He stops his fidgeting, but doesn't move away. A good sign.

Hiro soothingly runs his thumb over Micchan's dorsum. "And would that be such a terrible thing?"

Hiro's not blind. He's spotted the glances, has noticed the casual touches. Has enjoyed cuddling together during scary movie nights. They're in a love hotel together, for fuck's sake. It doesn't have to mean anything, if Micchan doesn't want it to, but it could be... nice. Simple and sweet and straightforward. Hiro would give up all the good scotch in the world for just one relationship in his life that isn't needlessly complicated.

"I... I don't know." Micchan finally looks at him, and seems almost ready to cry.

"I promise I can behave myself," Hiro jests, trying to lighten the mood.

Unfortunately, his attempt at humour is quenched when an honest-to-goodness tear runs down Micchan's cheek. "It's. It's not that." He swallows wetly, struggling to find his words.

"It's just. Don't think I haven't noticed the looks of your colleagues. They think I'm some stumbling country bumpkin who doesn't know how to handle himself in the big city." Micchan sniffs, even further distraught by the fact he no longer has any handkerchiefs after offering them to detective Mouri earlier in the evening.

Hiro instead offers him his pocket square, and when Micchan tries to refuse it, unwilling to soil the silk, Hiro takes it upon himself to wipe away the tears, at least.

"The way I see it, Micchan," Hiro says, and makes sure to squeeze his friend's trembling hand, "you made Inspector way ahead of schedule. No matter what strangers may think, the people who know you can see your determination. I promise." He helps Micchan blow his nose, and then softly boops said nose that's red as a reindeer's.

It's nice to see the old trick is still working. Micchan smiles, even if only slightly.

"And at the end of the day," Hiro adds, "my colleagues don't get to pick my company. I do. And I..." he trails off, making really sure that Micchan is looking at him, "want yours."

Micchan's smile is dazzling, now, and way too close. Hiro tries to distract himself before he does something stupid. He promised he'd behave, after all.

He should probably have a word with Zero; there's only so many people in the venn diagram of people that could be called his colleagues, and who would be rude to Micchan.

"You really think so?" Micchan interrupts his thoughts and pulls him up into a hug, an awkward thing, dragging him halfway off the floor and into the bed. Who knew he had that much strength in him?

Hiro's "yes" comes out a little breathless, the hug perhaps a bit too enthusiastic. He's allowed a little more breathing room, in response.

"I want you, too," Micchan says, halting, blushing furiously, and reconsidering his phrasing, "I mean, uh, I want to be with you. For as long as possible. If you want?"

Somehow, the bold declaration is worse than the innuendo. Hiro's heart burns. It's Micchan's earnest desire, he knows. No subterfuge or manipulation involved. Can it really be that simple?

Maybe. There's a few things he can't tell Micchan, not now, not while they're still classified. Things that keep him awake at night, and that gnaw on him during the day. But those are for later; for now, he should probably answer, preferably before Micchan's expectantly held breath runs out.

It's as natural as breathing to respond. Two words, but imbued with the weight of a promise: "I do."

(And then he drags himself properly onto the bed, and kisses Micchan silly.)

[pallastrology]

lovely little things for your sign

artwork by theodor petter

valentine's day is coming up, so here are some nice little things we can do to pamper and show some appreciation for ourselves. i tried to think of free activities, because times are tough for us all right now. use whichever placements resonate for you, this is just for fun so don't treat it too seriously <3

aries: dance party! maybe it sounds silly, but moving your body (in whatever way feels best for you) can be really helpful. it wakes you up, helps regulate your nervous system, gets the blood pumping a bit and can be mentally uplifting. never mind how good it feels to blast some music and just let go of fear and inhibition for a minute...

taurus: spa session. this doesn't need to be a big fancy thing, but it's always nice to spend a bit of time pampering yourself. take a bath or shower, cut up some fruit, make a herbal tea or get a sparkling water, and then whip out some moisturiser or a deep conditioner. you could even make yourself a DIY face mask if you're feeling creative. paint your nails, listen to calming music, and just spend some time showing your body a bit of love...

gemini: start a diary. whether you get out that notebook you've been saving for three years (we all have one, there's no shame here) or just use your phone's notepad app, set aside a little bit of time to do some journaling. it's a really useful habit for a multitude of reasons, and you might find you feel lighter after you've put your thoughts to the page. going back through old journals can be affirming, emotional and even inspiring, so make sure to keep your writings safe...

cancer: get cosy! it's easy to get overwhelmed with life, especially when you can't get any time to yourself. so if you can, set aside a bit of time that suits you and just get comfortable. whether that's something like watching your cat play while you nurse a cup of tea, watching a comfort show with snacks and pjs, sinking into a book, whatever. do something that's just for you, and let yourself indulge a little bit...

leo: be nice to yourself. it's often easier to bully yourself than it is to be kind to yourself, but there's nothing conceited or big-headed about being proud of yourself and your accomplishments, acknowledging both your faults and your strengths, and treating yourself with the same kindness and respect you treat your loved ones with. in fact, it will help you to feel, think and do better, if you treat yourself better. so be your own biggest cheerleader, and take stock of the good in your life...

virgo: take a moment to recentre. when times get tough, it's easy to neglect your wellbeing. so now, take some time out of your day to work on a healthy routine; not one of the 'influencer' routines you see on social media, but a simple and sustainable routine that helps you feel a little bit better. even if means something 'little' like going through a checklist when you feel you're about to explode, feeling just 10% better can make your life run a lot smoother, and leave you feeling more grounded and able to enjoy your days...

libra: connect with someone. life can be very isolating, and it's easy to miss out on connection with people when most of our interactions are shunted through social media. try reaching out to a loved one and having a conversation; it doesn't have to be in person if you can't do that right now, but rather than just sending a meme or liking a post, have a real talk with someone you care about. a good chat with a friend won't cure all your problems, but it can lead to inspiration, connection and feeling that life is actually okay...

scorpio: dive into something. let your natural curiosity out to explore. it's always good to exercise your brain, but researching a new topic and studying it in depth will help develop your imaginative and creative side, as well as your intellectual one. you might gain a new skill or interest, you might not; but the day will pass anyway, might as well pass it learning something new. the more out-there the better, try a wikipedia rabbit hole or a video essay that changes you...

sagittarius: share your thoughts. not necessarily with another person, or on a blog, or your instagram stories... but write yourself a letter, do some journaling, talk to a friend. if you like posting on socials, by all means do that! there's no wrong way to document and share your thoughts, so get them out there. it's good to let go of what's in our heads, especially when life is getting overwhelming and you're feeling stuck or bogged down. it can be therapeutic and enlightening to translate your thoughts into words and release them into the world...

capricorn: let yourself relax. life is tough, and so are you, but you don't need to be strong all the time. it's okay to soften up and just be, without productivity, without stoicism, without being cool and collected. being human means experiencing the full range of emotions, good and bad, and it means energy ebbing and flowing over time. take a break, find a balance, and let yourself be vulnerable and soft, just for a change...

aquarius: reach out. whether that's checking in with a loved one, volunteering, caring for an animal, donating or promoting a good cause... it feels good to do good, and brings us more in line with ourselves to help others in some way. so do some googling, find a good cause that's practical for you to join up with, and take a step towards altruism. there are so many benefits to helping your community, both for yourself and for your world...

pisces: get some quality rest. easier said than done, right? but rest is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves. even if you struggle to get decent sleep for whatever reason, there are little things you can do to feel more rested. make your room a bit cooler and darker, focus on relaxing (whatever that looks like for you) before bed, take a nap if you need one, stretch out the tension in your body, or just take a break from your day to consciously relax and breathe, without expectation...

[irrealisms]

Reverse unpopular opinion meme: Feng Xin?

i can't tell if the 'reverse unpopular opinion meme' just means that i have to be nice about it or if i have to be nice AND unpopular? i'm probably just going to gush. this is all mostly stuff i've said on discord buuuuut whatever u get it again

anyway!!! feng xin!!! character of ALL fucking time. he makes me SAD. all he wants to do is protect & care for the ones he loves and (a) he can't, really, (b) they keep sending him away. xie lian but also jian lan! and then for 800 years he and mu qing are at each others' throats for leaving and. it's...not that simple, for either of them, really, but xie lian is gone and hating each other is easier to admit and verbalize and act on than hating themselves. (tbc they do genuinely hate each other more than they hate themselves, bc they dont understand each other, but ... they hate themselves for leaving, too, and it's easier to hate each other for leaving xie lian than to face the fact that they left too.) i think about the fact that feng xin has hongjing a lot. the thing of. in book four, xie lian loved that sword and almost wasn't able to bring himself to sell it. that sword reveals the true face of a ghost, even a supreme, and maybe if they hadn't sold it feng xin would've believed him. maybe xie lian wouldn't have to doubt himself, he could have proof for everyone, if he had it and it happened again. (and it does!! hongjing is the eventual method of reveal!!!!) they sold it, 800 years ago, and xie lian had loved it, and in book 1 feng xin has it, and hua cheng breaks it, and in book 3 feng xin has it again, repaired. i don't think fx even ever talks about it much. but there's so much there, in him finding it and keeping it and then repairing it when it breaks. it's such a ... traditionally masculine way of showing a very deep love and care? which is really very feng xin. i also think a lot about him breaking his own arm, in book 2, rather than let xie lian cause problems within his family to try and defend feng xin from punishment. and the way he loves xie lian's parents so deeply, and the ways that relationship is in some ways closer than the relationship xl has with them? and also about feng xin's bodyguard training. cries a little. the bodyguard training is related to the breaking his own arm, also...he was raised with the knowledge from very young that he is less important than xie lian, that his only sworn duty is to protect xie lian at the cost of his own safety. sometimes that's "if xie lian's in danger you put yourself in between him and the danger, you fight threats to his life and don't let them get close to him" and sometimes that's "if xie lian's starting an argument you break your own arm rather than let him cause problems". and he doesn't chafe under that, protecting + obeying xie lian is his shining purpose in life, and then book four happens and everything falls apart. i think 'dogcoded' is very overused as a description of fictional characters to the point of meaninglessness but feng xin truly is dogcoded imo!!! all he knows is follow his master & obey his master & protect his master from threats. auggghhhhh. feng xin............. every day i think about xianle trio and take immense psychic damage

(send topics and instead of salt or hot takes, i MUST talk abt smth i like about it)