#anyways let's hear it for the TEXAS rangers

[paramores]

my super south texas hometown is full of astros fans and i just have to ask WHY

[duckielover151]

Thoughts on s5ep1 (Both Sides, Now)

All right, I've had some time to mull it over, and I think I've solidified my thoughts on this first episode to our final season. There are a lot of storylines running at once. Let's go in a negative-to-positive direction.

I think the rivalry between Paul and Marjan is probably the most inconsequential, and I'm just not feeling it for a few reasons. For one... I just cannot take them seriously any time someone tries to say they're equally qualified for the promotion. I like both their characters, but Marjan has consistently earned a reputation for being reckless and kind of irresponsible, and you just don't put someone like that in a leadership position, no matter how flashy her rescues look. Never mind the fact that I have a feeling this whole competition may be pointless anyway. I genuinely have no idea what they're going to do with Judd if not bring him back. It's hard to picture another future for him.

Which kind of brings us to Grace... Whose storyline-- or rather, excuse for an exit-- I already knew was probably going to disappoint me...

This mercy trip excuse is weak. Hardly an excuse to leave your own child when she's still so young. (And was the scene where Judd was explaining it to Wyatt just a little... uncomfortable to anyone else? I don't know, something about the way he was describing her just kind of skeeved me out. It felt almost like the writers could have been romanticizing their failed negotiations with the actress herself and just... yuck. I'm interested to hear someone else chime in on that, though. Was it just me?)

But honestly, the more I've thought about it, the more I really feel like the only excuse for her absence I could accept would be character death. And I've read interviews about how the writers didn't want to go that route because it would feel disrespectful to her character... And I just can't get behind that. Not least of all because it feels like the respect just couldn't have been there for the actress herself. I don't want to hear all this lip service after the fact about how Grace was such a crucial, irreplaceable character. You're telling me Sierra McClain was the only one whose contract they couldn't figure out for the final season? Leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I'm kind of half and half on Owen's story. Curious to see where they're gonna go with that. I've seen some speculations that the series may end with his death-- leading to Judd taking over the 126. But I think it's just as likely that he may end the series by going back to New York. It's weird to think about... but he's kind of accomplished everything he set out to do here. And I think he's settled here, but the thought of Texas being Owen's permanent home just feels a little off to me. On a more short-term note, though... I feel like we as a fandom have mostly overlooked-- or ignored-- something kind of big. The series itself is focusing on his grief over his brothers' death(s). But uh... Euthanasia is not legal in Texas. There could be some serious problems headed his way (possibly leading up to a forced retirement and return to New York???) if his role in Robert's death comes to light. Just some food for thought right now.

I think Wyatt's going to slot in nicely as the new dispatcher. Not much to say there.

And Carlos's storyline is definitely the strongest so far. I like his new partner. I have this wild, unsupported prediction that the Rangers chief may have had something to do with Gabriel's death and Carlos and Campbell will team up to take him down... We'll see. I think they're gonna be a really good team though.

(Okay, but was anyone else getting, like, secondhand embarrassment during that scene where Carlos was presenting his slideshow thing to Campbell and the chief? The posturing!!! XD The way he was forcing his voice to be, like, painfully, unnaturally deep... It felt super real. I think it was great acting. But I'm also glad we're past that stage already.)

Overall, maybe not the strongest opening episode, but I fully expect it to pick up with the next one.

[xxgamefr3akxx]

Bands that I listen too that I think Carl Grimes would listen too! Part 2!

🎸black veil brides🎸

-you cannot tell me he isn't a fan of them

- loves them so much!

- he probably had an older cousin who showed him bvb

- his favorite album is set the world on fire

- ( he wishes he could/j)

- wretched and divine is HIS song!!!

-like think about it "I am the innocent

I am what could have been" screams him!

- his favorite songs are : sweet blasphemy, knives and pens, perfect weapon, youth and whiskey, ritual,savior (the irony) I am bulletproof

-sang savior to Judith when she couldn't sleep

- every now and then she'll remembered the tune and very little lyrics of a song she doesn't know the name too. Little does she know her older brother who she barley remembers would sing it to her.

- found a black veil brides cd on a run a was so happy since he hasn't heard them since the apocalypse started.

🎸 Eyes set to kill 🎸

- discovered them on a run

- he was looking through a record shop when he thought the album cover to the world outside was cool

- now obviously he didn't want to judge a book by its cover but he thought he should check them out

- as soon as they started playing he fell in love with them!

- from then on he was a big fan of them

- Favorite album: The world outside

- Favorite songs: darling, heights, ticking bomb, violent kiss

🎸 Sleeping With Sirens 🎸

- did you really expect this boy to not be a fan of sws when he's ptv fan???

- he was bound to find them out

- one song he enjoys but is a bit suspicious about it

- dead walker Texas ranger...

- Like how did they know!????

- Anyways

- Favorite album: with ears to see and eyes to hear

- Favorite songs: Kick me, If I'm James Dean, then your Audrey Hepburn, tally it up, settle the score , postcards and Polaroids

🎸 Get Scared 🎸

- oh what's that? You don't think he would listen to them? WRONG!

- cmon like of course he does

- why wouldn't he???

- relates to keep myself alive (the irony...)

-I'm just saying this now every older sibling is into this band (saying this as an older sibling)

- Favorite albums: Built for blame, lace with shame, best kind of mess

- Let's face it he loves all of their albums equally like he cannot chose

- If your were to ask him what's his favorite album oooh boy he is sweating!

- Favorite songs: keep myself alive, don't you dare forget the sun, drown, scream, parade

🎸 Honorable mentions 🎸

- asking Alexandria, escape the fate, cute is what we aim for, evanescence, jack off jill, scary kids scaring kids. Ghost town, silverstein, Chiodos

Well that's all!! I'm just saying carl grimes is emo! Also these are just my personal headcanons!!

[princessresurrection13]

We celebrated my aunts birthday yesterday. For her birthday we went to Arlington to see the Texas Rangers play. My aunt loves watching their games. Our family manage to score premium merchandise. We got a Texas Rangers shirt and baseball cap. After we got our merch, we went into the stadium to see the rangers play against the blue jays. I will admit that I’m not much of a baseball fan, but the rangers had some good plays, especially Josh Jung. The fans got really upset because Josh hit a home run but the blue jays challenged it and the referees sided with Toronto. Anyway the rangers won the game. I felt really happy for my aunt because they won on her birthday.

One of my favorite parts of watching the game is to hear guy fans yelling get off the field and booing the blue jays. I laughed every single time, they are so dramatic it’s hilarious.

After the game we went to my grandmas house and sang happy birthday and cut my aunts cake. I had a lot of fun.

One thing that really bothered me, when we were in line to get our merch, there was a ghetto Hispanic couple behind me. The man was saying something about a puta. I didn’t really catch what the girlfriend said but he said he was looking around just to look. I’m assuming she got upset that he was eying other woman. The part that boils my blood is that these ghetto Hispanic woman allow their husbands, lovers, and baby daddies to embarrass them in public. I don’t understand why these woman let these ghetto men criticize women and call them putas. I wanted to turn around and tell him that I could hear him and that he was an embarrassment. If he is openly calling women that what does that say about the girlfriend, how he sees her, embarrassing her like that. I bet the girlfriend didn’t care, that is trash behavior. I would rather stay single, then date a man who cannot behave himself in public. I’m done ranting now, I’m going to sleep and hopefully dream of a chivalrous prince. ♥️

[sweetaspiesammy]

Ignoring the inconsistencies with their timelines, I want Cordell and Dean to meet.

I want Dean taking a case on his own in Texas for whatever reason. Maybe it’s pre season one while Sam is at Stanford, or one of the times they fought and separated for a short while, or maybe Dean just took off on his own and left Sam at the bunker to rest. What’s important is that Dean ends up in Geri’s bar.

I want him seeing Cordell from across the room and swearing that he looks like Sam, only older. Maybe even older than him. I want him shocked, speechless.

Then I want a definitely fucked up and wrong idea to form in Dean’s head that leads to him deciding to approach Cordell. Dean using some cheesy pick up line and Cordell smiling in amusement. It’s the same smile Sam has. I want them sitting down and talking, becoming interested in one another. Sure, Dean compares everything to Sam, especially the differences—Cordell has a southern accent, he’s a Texas ranger, he’s got kids—but Dean doesn’t mind too much since he starts to like the man for more than just the similar looks to his brother. It’s still the appearance that drives him, but he reasons it’s okay. A lot of people try to pick up people solely for their looks—who cares if the guy he’s after looks like his brother?

I want them drinking together until the bar is nearly deserted, until Cordell is mumbling about feeling lonely while Dean slurs about loving someone he can’t have. I want Cordell making the first move—something Dean’s not used to—and it’s different than how he’d imagine Sam would do things, but there’s nothing that could make him resist. Well, there’s one thing—one person—but he’s not there. It’s a good alternative.

I want sloppy kisses and lots of grabbing and groping and Dean breathlessly suggesting the backseat of his car. I want Cordell going willingly letting Dean drag him out the bar door and allowing Dean to push him onto his back in the backseat of the Impala.

I want their naked, sweaty bodies pressed together with Dean on top of Cordell, his hips slotted between his long legs. Dean taking his time to work the man up, to get him desperate and begging in the way he’d always longed to hear from Sam. I want Cordell savoring the intimacy and the touch because damn, it’s been so long since he’d felt like this, since he’s felt good.

I want them coming together—Cordell spilling on his own stomach and Dean filling him up—with a deep moan from both. I want Dean biting his lip until it bleeds to fight back the desire to groan out Sam’s name. I want Dean collapsing on Cordell’s chest and the two of them laying pressed together for what feels like hours.

I want Cordell blushing when he walks a little funny climbing out of the Impala, while Dean wears a smug smile because he knows he wrecked the man perfectly. I want Dean giving Cordell his number, which he happily takes. He puts the contact in as “Winchester Auto” because, well, it seems to fit with the car and all. It’s something between an inside joke and a secret.

I want Dean watching Cordell drive away in his truck, while he gets back into the Impala and drives away. I want them both thinking about each other as distance is put between them, and a part of both Cordell and Dean wanting to go back to one another. Maybe they each hope the other man could fill the emptiness they feel…

So anyway yeah, I want them to meet.

[justapoet]

i’ll hold you close in my arms

Carlos couldn’t say it was a bad day when TK was back in his arms.

Or the aftermath the the hostage, when TK’s at the hospital (again).

1.3k

There are those moments as a kid that you decide you'll try to break some scientific laws. Trying to fly or to jump higher than anyone, or even trying to move objects with the power of your mind as if you could turn into a real-life Yoda. There are also those moments where you're swimming and want to try to breathe underwater, just so you can pretend you're a mermaid or merman.

So, you hold your breath, because you know the feeling of water in your nose and the headache it causes, and your brain forbids you to take a breath as a security source. Then, when you can't hold your breath anymore, you take your head out of the water and take a breath.

The feeling that goes in your body with the air is the relief to breathe again.

That's exactly how Carlos felt the moment he and Owen got to Captain Vega's team and Owen shot the man already covered in blood. He watched as the man fell and Tommy tried to process the last fifteen seconds until his eyes found their way to the dizzy and confused body beside a table, trying to keep itself up and not just crumble to the ground.

Carlos felt his heart aching at the same time his lungs could normally function again as he ran to where TK was, calling for him and watching as his confused self processed the situation and who he was.

"Hi, babe! Hi, hi, babe..." he heard TK's voice, holding him up for a second until his body gave into the chair behind him, and Carlos just could want to cry and hold him forever. He put his hand on TK's neck, letting his boyfriend hold to him as strong as he felt it was necessary ― if being honest, Carlos could hold him even tighter if he wasn't afraid of hurting the already injured paramedic.

"It's okay, I've got you" the cop whispered against TK's ear, and he heard as TK let out a sound similar to a cry. "You're alright, you're fine, okay? You're safe" he said again, not knowing if his words were to make his boyfriend relax or to reassure himself.

"You found us, oh, God," TK said, his voice cracking a little bit. "Thank you, thank you" he whispered, and Carlos just held him tighter, watching over TK's shoulder as Owen would help Nancy and Tommy, talking on the phone to someone he supposed was a 911 dispatcher.

"Easy, Tiger," Carlos said. "And I'll always find you, love".

.

"I can almost hear your thoughts," Carlos heard TK say from the hospital bed, and he blinked a few times to the realization he'd been off for a while. "A penny for them?"

They were alone in the hospital room, after hours. The whole 126 crew came in to check on him and joke about how he always managed to be in danger, and then Owen and Gwyn started a silent competition over who would take more care of their son while he was there. Their interaction was friendly, and that seemed to be a relief to TK, even if Carlos knew his boyfriend mostly wanted them to stop talking.

Carlos was there the whole time, sitting a little bit far from the bed, silently analyzing everything and getting lost in his head now and then. His movements were almost ghostly, although, every time his eyes and TK's crossed, he'd smile lovely.

After everyone was gone, Carlos got lost again, and TK took his time to watch that man in front of him. Until his curiosity and worry were bigger than the silence in the room.

Carlos smiled softly looking at his boyfriend's sleepy face, and then he frowned again seeing the bandages in his head. He'd done that a couple of times, now, and TK knew he was spiraling on possibilities of what could've happened.

"Babe, hey" TK called. "Come here, uh?" he stretched his arm, offering his hand and smiling softly when the warmth of Carlos' skin involved his hand. "Won't you tell me what you're thinking about?" he asked quietly, and Carlos smiled little before sitting on the bed beside TK's hips.

"My dad knows," he said, looking at their entangled hands. "About you not being my friend or personal shopper" he chuckled, and TK smiled briefly, but frowned.

"Did you tell him...?"

"No" he shook his head. "He said he already knew, since the Farmer's market. I should've known, honestly. He's a Texas Ranger after all" Carlos shrugged. "And if he didn't know then, he'd have guessed after today anyway. I wasn't really subtle about how you mean the world to me" his smile was shy, after these words, and TK mirrored it, caressing his thumb over Carlos' skin.

"Are you okay with it?" the green-eyed man asked, and Carlos nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. I mean, he didn't really say anything about it at all, you know? He only stated that you're my boyfriend and... Yeah, that's it" he sighed. "I don't really know what I was expecting from them".

"That's why any reaction from them would make you overthink it anyway," TK said. "You're not used to them talking about it, so when they do..."

"It's weird" Carlos finished, and they stood in silence for a while. Not even a minute and the cop got lost again, his eyes firmly staring at TK's hand in his and his grip getting a little bit tighter as if to make sure he was there.

"Babe...?" he asked, trailing off. Carlos sighed, his breath shaking and, TK noticed, his hand doing the same against his own.

"I was so scared," he said, his voice breaking mid-sentence. "I had this heavy feeling in my chest and I thought it was just because my day had been bad, and then you didn't answer any of my messages and- I-I just..." his voice was cut by a sob, and TK closed his eyes for a second before lifting his hand and reaching Carlos' cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Carlos" he whispered, and Carlos just broke off in tears, his body bending as if it was too heavy to carry all of his thoughts and feelings.

"I went to your father's house and" he took a deep breath, one of his shaking hands touching TK's one in his face. "you weren't there, your mom was worried and suddenly your father says you were missing. I thought..." he gulped a sob. "I don't know what- what I thought, I just..." he tried to make a sentence with sense, failing a few times before sighing and looking back at TK. "I'm so glad you're okay, Ty"

TK smiled sweetly, but he had tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry I worried you," he said. "And I'm sorry for your bad day"

Carlos shook his head again.

"No, no. None of it is your fault" the cop said. "And just knowing you're fine and having you with me makes my day the best one" his tone was sweet and careful, even if silent tears still streamed down his face.

"I love you, you know that?" TK asked, pulling Carlos' face closer and making the man lean forward, one of his elbows beside TK's tired body and the other beside his head in an uncomfortable position, but that allowed him to touch his boyfriend's face and press his forehead against the paramedic's.

"I do" he answered, closing his eyes. "I love you, too. So much" his voice was quiet, filled with a love that was almost touchable around them. TK smiled, happily accepting the kind and soft kiss pressed to his lips.

If later a worried Gabriel Reyes appeared at the doorframe of TK's room, seeing how they managed to lie together in that hospital bed and then smiling to the sight of pure happiness his son had found, then no one needs to ― or will ― know about it.

[the-mercurial-star-o-vesper]

NSR HCs

And we don’t mean their Human Resources

To be fair, this is gonna be mostly 1010 stuffs with some things here and there. Can’t help it, I am drawn to robots (... and I draw robots).

I’mma restate things from other posts (I’m a -hah hah- broken record), and add some new things too.

Here we go!

1010 is the local Super Hero squad. Hear me out. They got blasters, they got megaslams, they can Fly, they even have a Robot Factory that can replace bodies if they get destroyed (Which really isn’t something you’d have-- I know that bands can get injured by their fans, but if a Vinyl City fancrowd can destroy military grade robots, then DK West would’ve been gone loooong before BBJ)... [Then again, BBJ’s fans pretty much rioted out of control, and even had fortress map style canons; maybe revolutions and riots happen more often than we think. There’s DK West’s side story after all] Anyway. They’re armed to the teeth, synch’d to the max, and pose like its the god damn Power Rangers. These dudes are prepared for a Kaiju attack and Powerpuff Girl style throwdowns.

1010 isn’t based on Neon J’s past (probably)... ... But based on his coworkers. Consider. We know White (Rin) apparently has Neon J’s old face. So he’d be the Neon J. You’d think, with this case, Blue (Purlhew) would take after DJ Subatomic Supernova (DJSS). But Purlhew resembles the Sixth Megastar more than DJ Subatomic (Consider the connection the two have to either smoke or air waves; and the fact that they both have glasses and have this air of mystery) Red (Zimelu) likely takes after Yinu’s Mother, the Dubstep artist of NSR. Consider his aggressive style (Nearly all of 1010′s excess attacks are Red, and Zimelu’s bullets are the only other one’s that can be deflected). Plus his Saws. They’re circular Saws, which are more often used in Woodwork. Yellow (Haym) would take after Eve. Their the similar hairstyle (Both have forelocks that cover an eye; and if you wet Haym’s hair, its basically Eve’s). Though having a poet’s name may make Haym more Yinu-style classic, plenty of the Fever Dream District is named after classical musicians or even sufficiently clever scientists. Green (Eloni)... raps apparently. And he’s green, and boy oh boy, who do we know that’s Green and Raps? DK West. Sounds like Neon J was around during DK West’s little uproar. However, Eloni also has traits off of SAYU (look at the eyebrows and the cowlick), and the curly hair is reminiscent of Yinu. Perhaps Eloni had an older design? ... All this leaves room for having potential bots that take after DJSS or Tatiana. Or very possibly, Bunk Bed Junction.

ADDENDUM: Why Eloni has no fans. Cos he’s green, he raps, and the Vinyl City Crowd set fire to the car of the last green rapper’s car (DK West). I imagine quite a few folk would beeeee-- turned off by this, historically.

Excessive Partying in Metro District Sounds like someone is trying to get away from something and fast. Careful about the hangover.

Its call the Metro District Well, Metro is short for Metropolitian, so it could be the main city part of Vinyl City. Aaaand Its short for the Subway. So considering we fight 1010 on a Highway (Literally, the cars levitate). Perhaps it has a train?

Vinyl City has Levels Consider it when you walk around. There are lower Levels, Higher Levels, and even a literal Highway in the sky (FLYING. CARS). This place is leveled out like Taris on Knights of the Old Republic. Parts of the “upper” level districts (The levels you move) apparently are literally moved around so much, folks aren’t even shocked anymore. NSR Tower’s stunt in the end isn’t that implausible. The entire game foreshadows that there’s something else up with Vinyl City. The place even has Robots, Cyborgs, and quasi-supernatural stuff.

Conditions of Vinyl City are worse than they appear. Let me list why the Blackouts are bad. - Food spoils. They’re on a island nation with rice fields. That means heat and humidity, and that means Food spoils a lot faster. This taxes local markets, and as its an island nation (meaning trade is expensive), Starvation likely was a regular problem prior to NSR (And may even still have issues then). - No Heat. In the dead of winter, Hypothermia doesn’t need days, it just takes a couple hours. (I should know, I was in that blizzard that overtook Texas US). - No Water. No Power means no Water for areas, because it takes power to push water. It also takes power to heat water; so if you didn’t lose your Water, you at least lost your Hot Water. - No Power to Water, means Sewer lines Back Up. Bad Juju, all around. - Damaged Equipment. One of the biggest problems for electronics for blackouts and brownouts is Damage. The resulting blow outs or noise can and will damage lights, wires, electronics, computers, the works. That’s one reason why you see flickering electronics in-game, post blackout. They aren’t just lacking power, they’re damaged from the Blackouts. Now for the worse bits. Once you’ve reached Metro District, you find out that the pipes you occasionally see drain water from underneath the city. Meaning that Vinyl City both has Blackouts and regular Flooding Problems (Probably why the City has Star Wars style Levels). If there’s no Power, then the drainage stops and the flooding happens. - It wouldn’t shock me if the Vinyl City Navy has local emergency services when storms come. While Tatiana does bring up some of BBJ’s shortsightedness in their revolution, she ultimately was and is in the wrong. Both the atrocious judgement skills of the Lights Out Auction; and the fact that the Blackouts have far reaching consequences; one of which is that People Die without power. Admittedly, Vinyl City’s history of blackouts probably means that the local populace can survive without power and may even have local backups if the Megastars are preoccupied. I doubt there’s as much death or devastation here than say, a primarily arid nation state in the midst of a freak blizzard. And anyone hooked to a Hospital or other Emergency Powergrids may just lose water and nothing else. So the heavy handedness against NSR and Tatiana is harsh, but I count the worse case scenarios because Worse Case scenarios don’t need days to happen, they takes a few minutes before fuck everything falls apart. ... Take the fact that the Satellite was taken down in seconds, and in those mere seconds, it became completely irretrievable and the situation nearly unfixable. I’d like to think that Tatiana was aware about just how unfixable things can get (Which is one reason why backup power goes to the Megastars; the concerts can and will bring things back online) [There’s even a faint implication that if the Megastars do stop their concerts that the city goes out. Consider who all was at the Lights Out audition, then consider the fact that if they’re judging lights out, then they’re not making concerts, and if they’re not making concerts, they’re not powering the City. No wonder all the Megastars have problems if they’re under that kind of stress]

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

And now I’ve watched episode 3 of Walker because of reasons. (You guys asked, that’s reasons.) #2

If you guys haven’t seen part 1, go see it immediately. Because of reasons. This time, reasons is Slutty Glitter Cowboy Stripper. No, it’s not a joke.

Yeah, I’m not sure what’s happening either.

I can’t believe they’re airing cowboy strippers in Supernatural’s air slot and Dean Winchester isn’t there. I think this is why they had to kill Dean, because otherwise he would have ripped through the CW’s show layout and appeared in Walker sponteneously, instantly adopting Walker’s entire family and friends as his own and single-handedly implementing the depolicement of the state of Texas, with Castiel rolling his eyes at him in the background while he murders ICE agents at the US-Mexican border.

*slides the CW a twenty euro bill* so I have an idea for season 2 of Walker

Anyway, there’s this lady Walker and Ramirez are doing a stakeout on, a woman called Torreto who is presumably part of some criminal organization since they’re doing a stakeout on her, and who’s bisexual given she was being entertained by a lady and a guy at a strip club. Which is like, fine, not problematic at all, alright.

So the stripper straddles her and is like ~wanna come with me in the back, and she’s like ~maybe another time, and he’s like ~torreto i saw cops outside you probably wanna come to the back with me, and she’s like ~mmm yeah that sounds like a good idea. We were rooting for you, slutty glitter cowboy stripper! We were all rooting for you! Or not.

Meanwhile, Walker has horrible car manners.

Also, he asks her how her parents were to her growing up, which is a question you normally ask to people you’re not close to when you want to do some small talk. For some reason she brings up a friend she had some ~crazy teen years~ with, called Garrison, which doesn’t make me think of angels in Supernatural, no, I am a normal person.

But then people start coming out of the strip club, but not Torreto. So they go in.

Torreto is not there, so Walker just stops the first person he sees and he’s literally like ~excuse me, do you know if there’s someone in the back. The visual is hilarious

“Excuse me, sir, have you seen my brother from another show, I suspect he might be here”

Give me a spinoff about this strip club.

Anyway, the guys answers, “No, why, you two interested?” to which they immediately answer “no!” at the same time, and share a look which makes me think we’re supposed to be like ~~ooh, talking in unison moment! or something...?

Meanwhile their truck gets stolen, and Walker yells that his bobblehead is in there. Cue disgruntled Jared face.

Oh man. We are at the title card. It’s less than 6 minutes. This will never end.

It was night, now it’s day, and Stella and August are walking around Austin. He’s mimicking David Attenborough, describing the teenagers around them as though he was doing a documentary about animals.

Two girls approach them, bringing up a party that’s taking place tomorrow. She says it’s not the best idea with her court date approaching. The girls are like, your dad can figure something out, he’s an elite ranger or something and also owes you for disappearing for a year. She’s like, he’s being kind of cool, I don’t want to ruin this, and the girls “call BS” because this is like “the best party of the year”.

Ruby, the girl August has been hanging out with, appears and August goes from “nah the party is not my thing” to “I’ll totally be there” in like 0.02 seconds.

I cannot overstate how much I am not interested in high schooler drama.

Meanwhile, at the Walker Seniors’ place, Walker’s parents are preparing the table for a family dinner. From their banter we can infer someone’s who ~is like family although he isn’t “blood”~ is coming for dinner and Grandpa Walker doesn’t like him at all and actually expects the guy to steal their china and bourbon. “It’s been years, could you please give him a chance?” Grandma Walker says, and he accepts, although she grabs the fancy bourbon from behind his back.

Meanwhile, at the police station, all the cops are having a briefing about Torreto, the woman at the strip club. She apparently steals weapons all over Texas and sells them over the border at triple the cost. Remember that Torreto escaped from Walker and Ramirez because she stole their truck while they were inside the strip club. Ramirez is worried she’ll already become the laughingstock of the precinct.

Uh. James plays security camera footage from outside the strip club. Walker and Ramirez’ truck was stolen by Torreto and the cowboy stripper himself.

Obviously the other cops laugh when Ramirez admits it was her truck.

James tells them to find Torreto, find the truck, and find out who the naked cowboy is.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Then Walker drives home, and as soon as he gets out of his car, you know how in the Supernatural pilot Dean gets into Sam’s apartment and wrestles him before revealing it’s him to ~test if his fighting skills are rusty and laughs when Sam realizes it’s him? Alright, now think intensely and guess how Walker’s like-a-brother best friend is introduced. Think intensely! It’s really difficult to guess!

Something something about violence and male intimacy except this is too ridiculous to, you know, write something serious about it.

“Oh, man!” the guy laughs, lying on the ground where Walker threw him. “The look on your face!”

“You son of a-”

“Oh, c’mon man, don’t talk bad of a mother I never knew.”

I’m facepalming soooo hard. This is the first thing we learn about him (well, after the fact that he definitely stole something from the Walkers’ house in the past), that he never knew his mother!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

GUYS

I AM SO SORRY

I am faceblind I didn’t realize

THE GUY IS THE STRIPPER

I REPEAT

THE “DEAN BUT IN JARED PADALECKI’S MIND” CHARACTER IS THE SLUTTY GLITTER COWBOY STRIPPER

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I SWEAR MY HANDS ARE COLD AND CLAMMY

I AM EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS NO WORDS EXIST IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO DESCRIBE

Oh my god guys. I am so sorry.

“You did your touchdown victory dance before you stole my partner’s truck!” Walker exclaims. “I should arrest you right here and right now!”

The guy acts like he has no idea what Walker is talking about, and says he’s in town to see his best pal.

Walker keeps accusing him, but then his mother appears, super thrilled to see him, and Walker lets is go.

They’re at dinner (NotDean brought wagyu steaks, which obviously means he does crime for a living) and Walker’s mother tells him to say grace, which he does in a semi-serious, semi-mocking way. Obviously NotDean does not believe in god, but he’s grateful for the people around him.

Stella calls him uncle, in case you missed that this is supposed to be a friend whom Walker loves likeabrother.

He talks about jobs he did here and there, and Walker and his brother tease him asking if he’s been to some prisons around the country. Stella doesn’t get the joke and NotDean explains it to her, adding, “now, from what I hear, I’m not the only outlaw in this family”. Grandpa Walker leaves the room.

NotDean asks Stella if she’s going to the bonfire (the party they were talking about earlier) and tells her that her mother started the thing when they were young. She didn’t know that. This is supposed to be a Meaningful moment.

Meanwhile the stolen truck is found... at Walker’s ranch. Gasp! What a shocking turn of events.

NotDean gives Stella advice on how to act in court to get on the judge’s good graces, “which means acting”. “Please don’t get legal advice from a criminal” walker’s brother Liam says. Is the gay brother also a NotDean of sorts, to be fair? Well, CriminalNotDean tells her to dress her best and cry. ActualbrotherNotDean tells her to use the correct legal arguments. Walker just stops them, quoting something Ramirez said earlier in the episode, “nobody benefits from the easy route”. Stella is like, what does that mean, which, mood, but Grandma Walker interrupts bringing in a plate of different hot chilis. Apparently they have a tradition of a competition. Which we don’t even see. Boo.

Ramirez finds the truck... right outside the Walkers’ house. Grandpa Walker, who’d gone outside, points a rifle to her and she explains what she’s doing there. They introduce themselves and she is like, sir why is the man who stole my truck inside your house? “Wife invited him to dinner.”

She’s like, I need to arrest him. But he’s like, I bet there’s not enough evidence to arrest him, or my son would have done it. Join me for steak and burbon in the bunkhouse! As one does. So they have wagyu and bourbon together, and she asks him what’s the guy’s story.

So NotDean and Walker grew up together, NotDean had a rough life, “my wife has a soft spot for strays, she can’t give up on him”. But Grandpa Walker doesn’t feel the same. He tells her that she cannot arrest him tonight, but it’s only a matter of time before the guy gives her enough rope. He adds that Walker has a blind spot for faces from the past, and needs someone to fix that.

Meanwhile dinner’s over and NotDean calls a uber. He and Walker arrange to meet the next day and hang out like old times. Eventually, Walker tells him that if he is involved in this case, he will have to take him down. “Theoretically, if you catch me.” They do a manly hug with manly pats, and the guy leaves. “Theoretically, go to hell,” Walker says after he’s left.

The next day, NotDean brings Walker to a storage in the middle of nowhere... full of cursed objects, no wait, wrong show. What’s inside the storage is the red Mustang. Walker is shocked that he hasn’t lost it in some bet - which apparently is how he got the car from Walker in the first place. Now NotDean says that, after everything Walker’s been through, he deserves a chance to win it back.

Glowy flashback of Walker and his wife in the car, right after the scene in the beginning of the episode. They bet it during poker night, decision of Emily, because Walker is “starting to get attached to her”. Emily teases him for calling the car a she, and Walker decides to call the car Stella.

They gave their daughter the name of a car they lost at poker.

Oh. She tells him she’s pregnant.

So, apparently, they had their first daughter when they were broke, to the point they had to try and get money at poker for a bigger place and baby things. That’s... kind of irresponsible.

Meamwhile, Ramirez goes to James to tell him about the thing, but James already figured NotDean was involved, because apparently stealing things and returning them is just something he does. “Why are you so calm about this?” she asks. He says because they cannot pin anything on him. Questioning him could scare the big crime lady. So he tells her to just keep an eye on him. “Walker, Torreto or Hoyt [NotDean]” she asks. “Yes” he answers.

Blah blah. I apologize, I’m being too detailed. I’m just bored by this. Ah, a butcher’s truck was stolen right after the strip club thing, guess where NotDean got the wagyu steaks.

Walker and NotDean go to the bar with the bartender who’s their friend, and NotDean flirts with her. They start playing poker, when Ramirez arrives, and has some banter with NotDean and spills some glitter on him that she found in the truck. He buys her a drink and she arrests him for trying to bribe a police officer. Walker is shocked.

At the precinct, he says they cannot prove he’s working with big crime lady. But she brings up he stole the wagyu steaks.

She calls him out for trying to be everyone’s friend even if they do something wrong, also with Stella.

She says she can hold NotDean for 24 hours, long enough to figure out the big crime lady’s plans. Common trope in cop shows. Arrest someone without proof, you have to release them after 24 hours, but the cop finds proof and bam, forgiven for arresting someone without proof.

I know you’re bored, I’m bored too.

Actually, nope, it goes differently and kind of worse. In the interrogation room, Ramirez offers NotDean a deal: he tells her where the big crime lady’s weapon deal is happening, and walks free. He points the location on a map and he compliments her. Walker is watching from the cameras and is shook.

Meanwhile the bonfire is happening, and Stella is there with her girl friends. So is August, breakdancing to impress girls. We don’t care.

Meanwhile, a lot of cops in serious cop gear surround the location NotDean pointed at. Nobody’s there, though.

What is there, is the red Mustang with the creepy bobblehead in it and a letter from NotDean that says he gives him the car back because it was always his wife’s.

Walker figures out where the deal is actually happening - the storage where the red Mustang was before.

Meanwhile, at the bonfire, August is drunk on booze he stole from Grandpa Walker and brought to the party. He asks Stella if she’s trying to drive their father away, breaking the law and all, he asks if she wants him to leave again. Then he throws up. She calls Walker but he obviously doesn’t answer. So she calls her uncle, who’s doing shopping with his partner or something. They’re buying cake? Doing cake testing for their wedding? Maybe.

Meanwhile, NotDean calls Grandma Walker to tell her he cannot go mushroom hunting with her tomorrow but needs to leave town, and he’s sorry to let her down again. She tells him that just because his family’s bad, doesn’t mean he is too. “You saved my boy, and I’ll never forget that” she says. Oooh, that’s so intriguing!, nobody says. They share a cute moment and then he hangs up, while the weapon deal goes down around him.

Uncle Liam and his partner pick up the kids, and Stella asks him if he’ll be in court with her tomorrow. He says he can’t, because it’s her father’s decision to make.

August turns up music and they all sing in the car. It’s funny how everyone’s got better chemistry with everyone else except with Walker. I know it’s, like, on purpose for plot reasons, but still, Walker’s interactions with everyone feel so stilted compared to anyone else. And it’s not the other characters are that compelling.

The police arrives at the location of the weapon deal, and NotDean gets arrested trying to steal the truck again. Ramirez gives a speech how that’s hard but it’s the right thing to do. Walker makes a comment about tough love, implying Stella needs to get that too.

The next day, they leave for Stella’s court thing on the red Mustang. It took Walker three episodes, but now they also have a cool classic car to show off! Yay! *eyeroll*

Meanwhile, Grandma Walker and Grandpa Walker have a conversation about their failing marriage or something.

Ramirez goes to the bar to apologize to the bartender for arresting NotDean. They have a drink together and if lesbians were watching this they’d start shipping them, but no lesbians are watching this. They’re wiser than me.

Stella got like a gazillion hours of community service and her license suspended. She’s upset, but since she has her license for one more day he teaches her how to drive the Mustang.

Wait. Americans don’t learn to drive normal cars when they get their license?? They only learn to drive cars with automatic gear?? What the hell??

They drive while August runs after the car to get over his hangover or something.

Would be a cute moment if the entire thing wasn’t so cheesy and weird.

Well. We know NotDean is a recurring role so we’ll see more of him. (Well, I’m not sure I will be there to watch, because this is boring af.)

This episode used all its interest coins in the strip club scene and then became dreadfully boring. I don’t even have some witty line to close this post.

This was a rollercoaster that went my brain go through a blender in the first six minutes or so and then killed the remaining braincells through boredom.

That’s it guys. What can I say. This is the CW’s Walker. Yee.

[puckinginsane]

Stargazers

Jamie Benn one shot

The moment Jamie knew he was going to propose to his girlfriend he knew he would want to involve her daughter in some way. In every way. He wanted her to be involved as much as possible. Not only does he love Samantha like his own, but he is clueless about how to go about it and Sammy is five years old going on fifteen. She has all of the answers, even to questions he never asks. She’s the perfect partner in crime to plan the perfect proposal for the perfect woman.

He never thought in a million years that he would date a single mom and he sure as hell would never admit to believing in love at first sight, but when he saw her for the first time it was as close as one could get to it. He thought he was in love before. Hell, he thought he’d never fall in love again, but this love is way different. This is that once in a lifetime love you always dream about but never think is actually possible. 

It was three years ago when they first met. Gabriella was out with the ladies of the single moms club she was a part of. Once a month the ladies of the single moms of Dallas club would go out for some fun, food, and drinks. That night they just happened to go to the same Texas Rangers baseball game as Jamie, his brother Jordie, and his friend Justin. It was one last hurrah until Jordie had to leave Dallas for the start of the hockey season. Neither of them had any idea they would be finding true love that night. 

The game had gone into extra innings and both of them had a good amount of drinks over the course of the night, feeling loose, and the Rangers wound up winning. Everyone walking along the concourse was giving the people passing them in the opposite direction high fives in celebration.

Jamie had his hand up high fiving one person after the other after the other. With the alcohol coursing through his veins he was feeling exceptionally personable, he usually keeps to himself and his inner circle exclusively.

When they got to each other they went for the high five, Jamie missing Gabriella’s hand entirely and smacking her in the face, he was horrified. Both of their groups stopped in their tracks to make sure she was ok. Jamie was profusely apologizing while she was laughing her ass off. 

“I am so sorry. I don’t know how that happened. Are you sure you’re ok?” As a professional athlete Jamie is no stranger to high fives and handshakes so it’s lost on him what went wrong, especially when he had connected with every other person  before her. It couldn’t possibly be that just for a second he got lost in her beauty and forgot where he was, right? Perhaps she got lost in his looks too since she missed as well.

“I don’t think anything’s broken. You’re off the hook.” Sure, she could be annoyed that some random guy smacked her in the face, but what’s the point in that? It was clearly an accident. She couldn’t help laughing it off. It was pretty funny, after all. She was still laughing about it, in fact, something that Jamie noticed. 

“I feel terrible. Really. I can’t apologize enough.” He was extremely embarrassed and felt horrible for hitting her.

“No need. I’m fine.” For a few seconds they locked eyes and stared at each other, not saying a word. She let a bit of a smile slip, which made him smile back no matter how hard he tried to fight it. She had finally taken the time to really look at him and realized that this random guy was really handsome. Maybe it really was her lucky night. “Do you wanna try again?”

He looked down at the ground, unsure if he wanted to try again after that. “Oh, I dunno.”

She held her hand up for another high five, hoping he’d go for it. She didn’t want him to leave feeling bad about what happened. It really wasn’t a big deal. If anything it would be a funny story to tell her friends the next day. He softly high fived her with a little grin on his face. He could finally admit to himself that this was a little amusing. 

After talking for a few minutes they started to get herded off by security and before going their separate ways they wound up taking a picture together, with the help of the suggestion by her friend. The picture was cute and it was texted to her right away. She immediately thought about posting it on Instagram. The story had to be told to her friends and family. 

“Are you on Instagram? I’ll tag you in it.”

Jamie hesitated. He wasn't sure he wanted to be tagged, not because he didn’t like her but because he didn’t like the idea of just anyone being able to see it. Justin nudged him, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Live a little.” Jamie continued to be silent so Justin thought he would take matters into his own hands. “It’s jamiebenn14.” He watched as she typed it in. “Two n’s. Yup, like that.” He knew he could always remove the tag before anyone saw and he’d still have her name so Justin’s life was safe. That didn’t stop Jamie from glaring at him, though. “You’re gonna tell your grandkids about this one day. Don’t forget to mention that I helped.” Jamie shoved him and they all had a good laugh as they made their way out to the parking lot.

**

It took Gabriella a few days to send Jamie a message, and after a few weeks of talking back and forth through DMs on Instagram they decided to go on a date. Despite him being pretty shy at first and she was being pretty cautious they felt an instant connection. Jamie immediately let his walls down and became comfortable enough with her to let his personality shine by the end of the night. Gabriella couldn't resist his charm and his dry sense of humor. A sucker for sarcasm, she didn't stand a chance.

They really liked each other after the first date. They didn't want the night to end. They wound up sitting in front of her house talking until morning. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this way about someone, which scared her. She wasn't sure if she was ready for it. Ready to let someone into her life, into her heart. She wasn't sure if she was ready to fall in love again, possibly get hurt again. Him being a professional athlete made it so much more difficult. She wasn't sure if she could handle it, so even though she really liked him she made the decision that she wouldn't see him again.

Jamie’s schedule and him being in the spotlight was something she couldn't get past. She didn't want to spend her days missing someone. She was looking for an eventual partner and she wasn't sure that he could be that for her. She quickly realized that no matter what, she missed him. The more she fought against it, the harder it became to cut him out of her life. Missing him knowing she’d at least be seeing him again is way better than missing him for the rest of her life.

Jamie understood her decision. It's not easy dating a professional athlete. He knew that. Even though she made him happy and he had a sense of freedom to be himself that he never felt with a girl before he had to let her go. It was one of the hardest things he's had to do. He had gotten so used to talking to her at night before bed or after practice or a game. She had become a part of his routine so quickly and he wasn't sure how he was going to be able to push her out of his mind.

Luckily for Jamie he didn't have to figure it out for long. He was on the road when he got the text from her asking if he was busy. Part of him wanted to jump on a plane and fly down to see her but life doesn't work like that. He told her he'd be back in town in five days and the first thing he'd do is take her out to lunch. She hated that she had to wait but it's not like she had a choice. She had been missing him and she'd just have to miss him a little bit longer.

As soon as he got back to Dallas he made good on his promise and took her out to lunch. He was so relieved that she wanted to see him again and hoped that she would be willing to give him a chance to prove that he was worth it and that he'd spend all of his free time making her as happy as she made him. As soon as she walked in the door of the restaurant he gave her the biggest hug and that was it, she was hooked, she knew that even though it will have its challenges life would be so better with him in it than without. Lunch turned to dinner and dinner turned into forever. They both knew that they had found something special and didn’t want to let it go.

**

It took Gabriella a few months to decide when would be a good time for Jamie to meet Samantha. She didn't want to bring someone into her life that would leave, but working around her schedule was getting more and more difficult and she was already falling in love with him. Sammy was two so the concept of boyfriend versus friend wasn't something she would understand anyway. She was comfortable as long as they were careful and moved slowly. 

Jamie was the most nervous he's ever been that day. It just had to go smoothly. He had no reason to be. He has nieces and most of the time he feels more comfortable with kids than adults. But this wasn't just any kid, this was her kid. She had put her trust in him and he didn't want to let her down. It was also really important to him to get along with Samantha because he wanted to be in their lives on a more permanent basis. 

Gabriella was pretty nervous herself. She obviously knew Jamie was aware she was a mom, but he had never actually seen her be a mom. She was worried that maybe once he saw her as a mom that his view of her would change, that maybe he wouldn’t want her anymore, that dating a single mom would be too much for him. She knew Samantha would love him, she loved everyone, and Jamie is easy to love. She had seen how he interacts with kids and knew that he was a natural. She just wasn’t sure if it being her kid would make it different. She loves the way he looked at her and she didn’t want that to change.

He stood in the toy store at the mall trying to find the perfect toy he would give Samantha when he got there, not knowing exactly what the perfect toy would be since he had never met her before. He could hear Gabriella’s voice in his head telling him she’s two and any toy would be fine, but he wanted it to mean something. He finally saw a glimpse of purple and he remembered that she had told him that Samantha was obsessed with anything purple so he grabbed the super soft purple stuffed bunny and knew he found what he was looking for. 

When she opened the door she gave him the warmest hug. All of her hugs are his favorite. They make him feel safe and loved. She saw the bunny in his hand and smiled. “She’s going to love that.”

“I hope so.”

They walked into the living room where Samantha was sitting on the couch and watching cartoons. She turned the TV off so Sam could concentrate on Jamie. Jamie slinked into the room and sheepishly waved to Samantha before squatting down in front of her. “Hi, I’m Jamie, it’s nice to finally meet you. I brought you a bunny.”

He handed her the bunny and she took it from him and hugged it. “Popo bunyee.” Her way of saying purple bunny. It melted his heart.

Gabriella sat down on the couch next to Samantha. “Can you say thank you to Jamie?”

Samantha climbed down off of the couch. “Fank you, Damie.” She hugged him and that was it for him, he was in love with the little girl and her mom.

“You’re very welcome. I hope you like it.”

Gabriella smiled proudly at how well her daughter did. “We’ve been working on saying your name.” 

“You have?”

“We have.”

"That's so...I love you." That was the first time he had said it to her. He wasn't planning on telling her right then and there but he just couldn't hold it in any longer. 

She had been wanting to hear those words from him since the moment they met. She was too scared to tell him first, unsure if he felt the same way, worried about jumping the gun. "I love you too."

Samantha too had to get in on the loving action, being the little sponge brain that she was and repeating a lot of what her mom would say. A little “I love you” squeaked out and made both her and Jamie laugh. It was right then and there that Jamie decided that these two were his family and he was never going to let them go.

**

There came a point in their relationship that they decided that the back and forth just wasn’t working for them anymore. He didn’t want to sleep alone. He didn’t want to have to say goodbye to Gabriella or Samantha. Between his busy schedule and her trying to find some free time, living apart was more trouble than it was worth. It was time to move in together. They had multiple conversations about it, making sure that it was the right thing for them and for Samantha. They were on the same page. This is what they both needed and wanted. Samantha was young enough where she would adapt easily and it would soon become the only life she’d know.

Not only was it getting hard on her to say goodbye, but it was getting harder and harder on Samantha. She was too young to understand why Jamie kept leaving and seeing her cry every time was breaking his heart.

In preparation to officially ask her he cleared out one of the bedrooms that he thought would be perfect for Samantha and painted the walls lavender. He couldn't be more excited about it. They had plenty of discussions about the possibility of moving in together so he had no doubts she'd say yes. He wanted to make this grand gesture to show that Samantha was just as important to him as she was, not that there was any doubt, she knew.

Sometimes he would have date nights alone with Gabrielle and other times the three of them would have a nice night together. This was one of those nights where they were going to his house for dinner and a movie. Jamie had it all planned out, a movie for Samantha and a movie for the grownups for after she falls asleep. Usually they would have dinner delivered if they stayed in, but that night he would be cooking for them.

As soon as he opened the door Samantha's arms were around his leg. She always made sure she was the first to give him hugs. He picked her up and gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek. "Hey munchkin! Are you ready for date night?"

"Yes!" Samantha exclaimed as she threw her arms around his neck. 

He peeked around her at Gabriella. "Oh, hey, you're here too." 

"Someone had to drive your girlfriend here."

He smiled before carrying Samantha inside and placing her down on the couch so he could give Gabriella a proper greeting. "You can stay if you want," he teased as he hugged her. 

“Imagine if you were actually as funny as you think you are,” she quips back. She always puts him in his place when he’s being sassy and sarcastic, one of the many reasons he fell in love with her. She never fails to make him laugh. And laugh he did before cradling her face in his hands and kissing her tenderly. It was then she realized she could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen. “Are you cooking?”

“I thought we could stay in tonight. Is that ok?”

“It smells great. It’s perfectly ok.”

His plan was to ask her after dinner but he started to get anxious and knew he wouldn’t be able to act normal or concentrate while they ate so he checked the timer to make sure he had enough time to show her right then, and he did, so he picked Samantha up. “I have something to show you guys upstairs.”

She followed behind him up the stairs, curious as to what he was up to and not a clue what it could be. They stepped into the room and she was taken aback, knowing that the room was painted for Samantha. There could be no other explanation. Samantha looked around the room with wonder. So much purple. It was a room Samantha was already familiar with since she would sleep in it if they stayed over, which didn’t happen too often. Gabriella looked at Jamie in disbelief, waiting for an explanation.

“I know we’ve been talking about moving in together so I wanted to take the first step. Do you think we could start moving her stuff in here?”

She couldn’t help laughing to herself at the way he was asking, of course it was about Samantha. She hugged him so tight. She could never begin to thank him for treating Samantha as his own the way that he does. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”

He kissed her forehead with all of the love in his heart. “I’m asking both of you to move in with me. I don’t want to live another day where I’m watching you walk out that door and I sleep alone.”

She rubbed her thumb along Samantha’s cheek. “What do you think? Should we live with Jamie?”

“Yeah. Live with Jamie.”

“You heard the girl. We’re moving in.”

Jamie could not have been happier while he squeezed both of his girls and kissed them all over their faces. He could have stood in that moment forever but the alarm on his phone went off. Dinner was ready. He kissed them both one more time and they headed back downstairs to celebrate. 

**

Gabriella still goes out with the girls once a month and when that time comes Jamie and Samantha always plan a fun night together. Tonight is no different, except Jamie has done all of the planning. Tonight is the night he asks Samantha if it would be ok with her to ask her mom to marry him. He has been thinking long and hard about how he was going to do it, what he would say, where he would take her, and he hasn’t been able to figure it out on his own. Asking Samantha for her help seems like the perfect way to include her, and it couldn’t hurt getting her opinion on how he should go about doing it.

He loves his nights with Samantha. They have so much fun together. He sees so much of Gabriella in Samantha. He thinks she’s the most incredible mother and can’t wait to add to their little family. First thing’s first, though, he has to ask her to marry him. He wanted to make it as special for Samantha as he could so he ordered a single rose from his go to flower company. They put it in a little box, where it lasts a very long time. Of course he had to get a purple rose, as it still is her favorite color.

Luckily for Jamie Samantha has picked up his affinity for Mexican food and his favorite Mexican restaurant has become hers too. He has no doubts that this is where he’d take her, this is where they go during most of their date nights. She thinks they’re a little obsessed. Jamie just likes to stick with what he knows is good. Samantha is just happy to be there and isn’t too picky about food.

The whole time they’re at dinner all Jamie wants to do is go back home and tell her the big news. The flower has already been delivered. He already has the ring. He can’t wait to see Samantha’s face when he tells her. Over the last three years they have become so close and he just considers her his daughter. He’s been the only man in her life that she can remember so as far as she’s concerned he’s her dad. She does know that her biological dad is out there somewhere and that Jamie isn’t that to her, and she’s still a little too young to understand the extent of it, but to her he’s the whole world.

After dinner and dessert Jamie and Samantha go home and for some reason he’s a little nervous. He’s not sure why. He’s been thinking about this for months. He had bought the ring. Talking to Samantha about it should be the easiest part. He looks in the rear view mirror at her smiling and singing along to the radio in the back seat. He can’t believe that this is his life sometimes and he feels incredibly lucky that he gets to love them and to be loved by them. 

“What do you want to do when we get home?” He asks knowing full well what’s going to be happening next. He’s still curious to see what she has in mind for the rest of their night.

��Moana and popcorn.”

He chuckles. He doesn’t know why he thought it would be any different. She is obsessed with Moana. She watches it so much that he pretty much knows the whole movie by heart. It is thanks to her that he has the soundtrack in a playlist on Spotify. He doesn’t mind, though, it’s a good movie. “You got it, munchkin.” They could do that after he tells her about the proposal.

“Can you dress up like Maui for Halloween?”

"Halloween isn't for another few months."

"I still want you to dress up as Maui in a few months."

"Who would mom be?"

She goes into a fit of giggles. "The grandma."

He has to fight a laugh. "I'm not sure she'd like that idea."

“But the grandma is awesome.” The mischievous smile on her face reveals she knows exactly what she’s insinuating by suggesting the grandma.

“I see that smile, missy.” She giggles even more. "How about me and mommy dress up like Moana's mom and dad?"

She scrunches her face up. "No way. Maui's fun. Moana's dad is mean."

"I don't think he is mean. He just worries about Moana and wants her to be safe."

"But she did it. She never would have learned if she didn't go."

He pauses for a few beats. That is a very smart and mature takeaway by this little girl. She's growing up way too fast. "You're right about that. Maybe mom can be Moana too. That would be cute.”

“Hmmmm. I guess that would be ok.”

"I'll be Maui for you." There was never a real chance that he wouldn't do it. He would do anything that little girl asked him to do if it meant making her happy.

"Yay! Thank you, Jamie."

“You’re very welcome.”

“Can you play the Moana song?”

Normally he may put up a fight since they are about to go home and watch the movie but he’s in an exceptionally good mood. She could ask for a pony right now and he'd probably say yes. She sings along to all of the songs the whole way home and Jamie hums along with her. He could not be happier than he is right now. He loves singing in the car with his daughter. That’s how he refers to her because that’s how he sees her. 

When they get inside the house Samantha runs to her room to get her favorite movie watching blanket while Jamie takes the opportunity to get the flower and the ring from his room. He places the flower on the coffee table in front of the couch and keeps the ring box in his pocket to reveal later. He gets the popcorn and bowl out so he can make it for them after they talk. He knows if he put the movie on right away she’d be too distracted.

She runs into the living room and jumps onto the couch next to Jamie. “Got my blankie!”

He smiles with every muscle in his face. He loves how excited she gets for movie night, especially when it’s Moana. “I see. Can we share?” He’s a little amused that she hasn’t noticed the flower on the table yet. He watches her to see her face when it finally happens.

“Yeah, we can share.” She drapes as much of her little blanket as she can on him, which only covers his thigh.

He kisses the top of her head. “Thanks, munchkin.”

She finally spots the flower and her whole face lights up. “What is that?” She asks excitedly. “It’s so pretty! Can I see it?”

He picks the flower up and hands it to her. “It’s for you.”

She holds it right in front of her face, eyes as wide as saucers. “It is?”

He nods. “Mhmm. Because I love you so much and I have a really important question to ask you.”

She smiles the sweetest smile. “I love you too, Jamie. What’s the question?”

“I was wondering if it would be ok with you if I asked mommy to marry me.”

She shrieks at the top of her lungs, making Jamie wince. “For real?”

He pulls her into his lap. “For real. It’s time, don’t you think?”

She nods vigorously. "It's definitely time."

He smiles from ear to ear. "So it would be ok with you if I asked her to marry me?"

"It's so ok, Jamie." She squeals. "I can't believe it!" She throws her arms around his neck and gives him the biggest hug that she can. "This is the best day of my life!"

He smiles and boops her nose. “Mine too. I’m gonna need your help figuring out how to ask her.”

“You do? Hm.” She taps her chin with her finger as she thinks. “It has to be super romantic.”

“She deserves the best proposal and I’m not too sure what that would be. We met at the Rangers game. Should I do it at a Rangers game? That might be fun.”

She shakes her head. “She would kill you if you did it in front of all those people.”

“I could do it in a suite, just the two of us, but maybe you’re right.”

“Not romantic enough. You need fireworks, and balloons, and flowers, and candles, and and and and, you know, romantic stuff.”

He chuckles. “Romantic stuff, eh? I think fireworks might be a bit much, but maybe you’re onto something with the candles and flowers.”

“She loves you a whole bunch, Jamie. I think she’d be happy with anything.”

“She’s pretty special and she deserves special. I want her to know how much she means to me, how much both of you mean to me.”

“She knows.”

“But it’s always nice to hear anyway, isn’t it?” He nudges her and she giggles from the tickles. “Should I take her out or just stay here?” Part of him hopes she says do it at home since that’s where he’s more comfortable. After thinking about it, that’s where he’s leaning anyway. 

“She likes when you cook.”

“Alright. So, I’ll cook her dinner and it could be a nice quiet night, just the two of us.”

“Quiet and romantic.”

“Yes, of course, romantic.” He has an ear to ear smile. He loves how enthusiastic she is about it. He didn’t really worry that she’d have a problem with it but it’s good to know she’s on board. Samantha’s approval is all he really cares about. “I’ll get a bunch of candles and those lilies she likes.”

“And a ring.”

“I have the ring already.”

She lets out a little gasp. “You do?”

“Mhmm. Do you want to see it?”

She bounces with excitement. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

He sits her down next to him, reaches into his pocket and pulls the ring box out. “I think she’s really going to love it.” He opens the box to reveal the ring he has spent months picking out. “What do you think?”

“I love it. It’s perfect. Mommy’s going to freak out.”

“Do you think she’s going to say yes?” A question he’s only asking for Samantha’s reaction. He isn’t really worried about it. They talk about their life together all of the time.

“She’d be crazy not to. She loooooooves you. Love, love, loves you.”

He can’t help smiling wide. “That’s good to know. I love, love, love her too. And you know who else? You. I Love, love, love you.”

She hugs him. “I love you too. Can we watch Moana now?”

He belly laughs. “Yes we can.”

**

Two long weeks Jamie has waited for this day. Two long weeks of preparing and planning his proposal. He’s ordered the flowers and the candles. He’s bought the food he’s going to make. He has dropped off Samantha at her grandparents’ for the night. He has the ring. He has an idea of what he’s going to say. He just needs the girl. She’s been at work and he’s just waiting for her to come home. 

The living room is filled with various sized candles, all unscented. He almost made the mistake of buying scented candles, which would mask the natural scent of the lilies. The lights are off and the candles illuminate the room on their own, exactly how he wanted it to look. He ordered so many stargazer lilies that he could open his own flower shop. The irony of the name is not lost on him as he is on the Dallas Stars and these are her favorite flowers, something they both had a good laugh about when he asked her what her favorite flower is before their first Valentine’s Day together. They are a beautiful flower and they do smell amazing. He could see why she loves them so much. The whole house is filled with the aroma of the lilies and he can’t say he minds it one bit. 

He put on a white button down and slacks. He’s not sure if it’s necessary to get dressed up but it feels right. This isn’t just some regular dinner, this is the most important dinner of his life. The ring box is burning a hole in his pocket. He’s starting to get a little anxious and wonders if he got everything ready too soon. He’s not sure if he should cook now and ask after or ask first and then cook. He can’t exactly concentrate right now, though, so after he asks it will have to be. He begins to pace around the living room, checking the time every few seconds until the door opens and she walks in. Immediately a calm washes over him and he smiles. 

She looks around the room at all of the candles and all of the flowers in amazement and a little bit of shock. “What’s going on?”

“Is something different?” He can’t help being his usual sarcastic self, even when he’s about to propose.

“Jame.”

“Gab.”

She finally starts to move and walk around the room. Obviously he’s up to something but she’s too blown away to realize what’s about to happen. She stops to smell each of the bouquets of flowers. “Where’s Samantha?”

“Your parents have her for the night.” He takes her by the hand and pulls her into a hug. She melts in his arms. He always gives her the warmest hug every time she gets home, whether if she’s gone for a few minutes or hours. 

“Is that so?” An ear to ear smile creeps along her face. “What’s the occasion?”

"You." He kisses her with every fiber of his being. It’s a kiss that knocks them both off their feet. One of those unforgettable kisses that they’ll remember 60 years from now, and they’ll feel it then too. It leaves them both breathless, which gives him time to compose himself. What he says next is going to be the most important words he’s ever said in his life and he wants to make sure he gets it right. She’s perfect and she deserves perfect. “You are the most loving, funny, down to earth, amazing woman I’ve ever met. Sometimes I don’t know why you put up with me but I’m so thankful that you do. The way you love me...I didn’t know love like that existed. You are my happy place, my calm place, my whole world. You and that incredible daughter of yours. I couldn’t imagine my life without you both. You’re my family, and I want to add to that family some day.” He reaches into his pocket, hands shaking, not sure if he should say more. He could talk for hours about how great she is and why he loves her, but none of those words would do her justice. He takes a deep breath before getting down on one knee and opening the ring box. “Will you marry me? Sammy said it was ok to ask you.”

She laughs through her tears. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

His eyes crinkle as he smiles the biggest smile he’s ever smiled in his life. He takes the ring out of the box and slides it onto her finger before standing up and kissing her. “I love you.”

She hugs around his neck and kisses him once more. “I love you too.” She admires the ring as it sparkles from the reflection of the lights from the candles that surround them. “It’s so beautiful.”

He rests his forehead against hers. “I’m glad you like it.”

She plays with the ends of his hair. “Did you really ask Samantha if it was ok?”

“Mhmm.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t want her here for this. You two peas in a pod.”

He takes her hand in his and slow dances with her to only the music in his head. “I want you all to myself tonight.” He pulls her up against him. “My fiancé.”

She smiles. “I love the sound of that.”

He kisses her forehead, then her nose, then her lips. “Me too.”

[zmediaoutlet]

in support of Texas relief, @doilycoffin donated $100, and requested Liam & Cordell Walker. Thank you for donating!

to get your own personalized fic, please see this post.

(read on AO3)

One of Liam's earliest memories is the time Cordell dropped him on his head. Not actually accurate at all to the way it went but that's how it's told in the family mythology. He was really little, three maybe or four—for some reason that part's indeterminate—and Cordell was climbing the stable and playing adventurer, or maybe just showing off and the adventurer part was a good excuse. Liam was following Cordell around like he always did and he tried to climb up, too, on the fence that kept in the horses when they were let out for their run, and Cordell told him no and that he was too little but Liam was determined to try. Cordell climbed back down and tried to steady him where he'd made it up to the top rung of the fence, and Liam lost his balance anyway, and fell straight backwards and landed headfirst on the dirt. There was a little rock and then a lot of blood, and then stitches, and Mama fussing and their dad ripping Cordi a new one—Liam doesn't even remember that it hurt—but the part that sticks it as a memory is how they all rode together in the truck back and forth from the doctor and Cordell held his hand in the backseat and he was crying, the whole way home, a silent seeping kind of crying that made his face a shiny mess. Liam thinks about that weirdly often. Cordi looking out the window and crying.

When the story gets retold for new friends, or the kids, or Cordell's buddies from the Rangers come around for coffee and Mama's pecan pie, they tell it that Cordell's so clumsy he dropped his baby brother on his head. Liam sort of hates it, every time. Cordell laughs and does the aw shucks routine he's so good at, relaxed with his beer and shrugging embarrassed apology. When Liam was about to head off to college, his eighteenth birthday dinner, Daddy told the story again as a kind of miracle survival, and Liam got up from the table real fast and went out onto the porch, annoyed for some reason beyond measure. It was Cordi who got up and came after him and said, a little cautious, "What's up, Stinker?" and Liam said to him, mad, "Why don't you ever tell people it was me? I was the one climbing up after you. It's not like you did it on purpose."

Cordell just blinked at him. "What does it matter?" he said. "You were the baby and I was a dumbass kid. So what?" He hooked his arm around Liam's neck and he smelled like sweat and Old Spice and that laundry detergent Emily bought that wasn't anything like the one they used at home. Liam pushed at his side but didn't try hard to get away. Not that it would've worked. "It's how we figured out how hard that head was, right? Come on. Mama's gonna wonder if you didn't like the brisket."

Liam let himself be dragged back into the house, and Cordi pushed him down into his chair right between him and Emily, and Emily smiled at him easy, and passed him the potatoes. "One month 'til the dorms," she said, very quiet so no one else could hear under Cordell telling some awful lie about Liam having gas, and Liam laughed, surprised, and it just happened that it was the same time everyone else laughed so that was okay. He always liked Emily. Cordell punched his thigh lightly on his other side, and gave him a warmer more real smile, and Liam dropped it, and he didn't complain about the story again.

*

Seven years between them. Liam always wondered if he was an accident, even if Mama said that with Cordell going to school she was ready to have another baby around the house. Cordell was always the one who was getting into trouble. Rambunctious, loud, falling headfirst into things and getting dragged out covered in mud. Liam learned from his example what not to do. Do not: run along the bleachers at the football stadium and vault the handrails until your foot gets caught and you fall and snap your wrist clean in two. Do not: get caught drinking beer with your high school girlfriend behind the horsebarn, and make Daddy give the most mortifying sex talk in the world afterward. Do not: make friends with the most delinquent-ass kid in the whole hill country and wind up explaining every other week why, really, he wasn't that bad, give him a chance—

Somehow even then he was the golden child. Not the best grades, not the most obedient. That wasn't what their dad cared about. Cordell was good on a horse, good on his feet. Respectful when it mattered and devil-may-care when it didn't. In high school he was the quarterback, of course he was, and Liam was right there in the stands with their parents every Friday night, cheering his lungs out. Weirdly boastful with his fourth-grade friends: his older brother was the star of the football team. His older brother could ride a bull for ten seconds and get off hardly winded. Bookish, kind of short, he needed the borrowed glory of Cordell's success to be proud of. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it got him pushed over on the soccer field while some bigger boy went, gawd, William, who cares?

Liam never got in trouble. Never broke a bone. After bringing Cordell back from the hospital with a fresh new cast on his ankle and a dopey slightly-drugged smile on his face, Mama settled him in bed with Liam's help and turned off the light and then, in the kitchen, sighed and said, "Liam, you are a real relief to the mind, do you know that?" He was proud of that, too, in that moment. It wasn't until later that it nagged at him. A therapist asked him, much later in a sleek Manhattan office that smelled faintly of sage, "Do you think your predilection for being contrarian results from that time?" He went home annoyed with her, and was more annoyed when he told Bret the story and Bret didn't even turn around from the carbonara he was making and said, "Babe, you're the most contrary person I know."

He wasn't. He didn't—think he was. He… was, he realized, after a week of sitting with it, and a week after that it made sense. He didn't pick fights, and he didn't make waves. His rebellion was quiet. His hard head, forcing him to make his own space in the world. Not able to live up to Cordell and knowing instinctively that it would be awful even to try—and so taking the opposite turn, every time. It was better than being compared, even if he knew there was no chance but to be compared.

He studied hard. He read, all the time. He liked math and literature equally and did equally well in both. He hated P.E. but he did what he could there, too, and he learned to ride even if he didn't actually love horses the way the rest of the family did, and when Daddy asked if he wanted to join up with the little league baseball Liam asked to play soccer, instead, and Daddy frowned but Mama said, "Why not, I've seen enough boys drop foul balls for a lifetime." So, soccer, and most of his games were during the day or on Saturday mornings, but Cordi came to a lot of them anyway, and when Liam's team won Cordi would jump down onto the field and grab him up by the waist and crow David Beckham, right here! Little David Beckham for sale! Liam would struggle and then he'd be slung headfirst over Cordell's shoulder like a potato sack and his face would get so red from laughing that it hurt.

*

On September 12, 2001, Mama and Daddy were gone from the house when Liam got home from school and he was glad for it. That was a Wednesday. He was in sixth grade. The teachers weren't even trying to hold normal lessons and everyone was talking about what had happened the day before. Melissa Kettering was out that day and the rumor was that her dad had been on a business trip in New York. Liam had raised his hand and asked the social studies teacher if there was going to be a war, like there was after Pearl Harbor, and she sat down on her desk and shook her head and didn't answer.

He was trying to read his book for English when the phone rang. Cordell, calling from his apartment in town. Hey, buddy, he said, over the line, and Liam sat down on the floor by the phone table and closed his eyes, unaccountably almost about to cry. Is Daddy there? Liam told him he was home alone. Lucky, Cordi said, you can totally throw a rager, and Liam didn't laugh, and neither did Cordell, even though he always laughed at his own stupid jokes. Hey, um. I shouldn't—I don't know if I should tell you this but I've gotta tell someone, and Em's in class, and I just have to—I did something, and I need to—

He interrupted himself and Liam could hear him breathing over the line. He didn't want Cordell to say anything. If he didn't say anything then Liam could pretend that he was going to tell a story about some party they'd gone to at Emily's sorority, or that Hoyt had come back into town and they'd seen a show at ACL, or that he was gonna come stay that weekend, and maybe he and Liam would go riding. Anything but what he was about to say. Liam could hear it, in his head. He could hear it like it had already been said and it was echoing, now, inside, like a verse from a song he'd always, always remember.

Cordell graduated from the Marine boot camp on a Saturday in the middle of December. Liam went along even if he wasn't allowed to attend the actual ceremony and Daddy complained about the cost of the plane tickets until Mama told him to shut up. Liam sat between them on the flight and it was the first time he was ever in the air. Over the top of Mama's crossword book he watched the clouds go by over New Mexico, Arizona, with complete wonder. San Diego, then, different to Austin—palm trees, and the air so wet, and even the parking lot at their hotel smelling like warm flowers.

Mama gave him fifty dollars before they left for the graduation. They were bringing Cordell back, after, because they got one night with him before they had to give him back to the military. "Order a pizza," she said, "at 4:30 exactly, and we should get back at the same time the pizza comes so we can all eat together." Liam watched American Pie on the hotel tv while he waited, something he would never have been allowed at home. He made the call when he was supposed to, and when the girl on the phone asked him what toppings his mind went completely blank because he was never allowed to make that decision. Cordi liked ham and pineapple and none of the rest of them did. Liam ordered it with extra pineapple.

When a knock came on the hotel room door Liam jumped up to open it, cash in hand. The one holding the pizzas was Cordell, grinning at him with Mama and Daddy standing behind. "Pizza delivery," Cordell said, and Liam crashed into him for a hug so hard that Cordi almost dropped the boxes and said whoa, Stinker, soft and laughing.

His hair was cut off, an inch on top and shorter on the sides, so he looked like those pictures of their grandpa when he was in Korea. He was skinny, too, which Liam didn't get, because he thought boot camp was all about building up muscles. "Mostly running," Cordi said. He was tired, dark circles under his eyes. He was stretched out on one bed with his strange starched blue pants and the awful khaki shirt that made him look washed-out pale even if he'd been running around San Diego for thirteen weeks, and Mama was sat next to him squeezing his arm like he'd evaporate if she looked away for a minute, and even Daddy was hovering. Proud but worried. Liam sat by Cordell's boots and tugged on the laces, wanting to ask more questions but not daring to.

Cordi fell asleep before six o'clock. Daddy turned on the television real quiet to the news. More stuff about the invasion. Liam hoped it'd be all over by the time Cordi got there. Mama boxed up the remaining pizza, shaking her head. "Don't know why you picked pineapple, kiddo," she said, and Liam shrugged, sitting at the table, watching Cordell's face, turned away a little on the pillow. Liam wanted to shake him awake but of course he didn't. For his whole life, after, he gets a little sick to his stomach when he smells pineapple.

While Cordell was in Afghanistan Mama and Daddy had Emily over to the house a lot. She was sweet. Respectful of Mama, calling her ma'am half the time, and charming to their dad even though Liam knew that she and Daddy probably disagreed on more than things than not. She liked that Liam played soccer and asked if he ever watched the Premiere League. Liam didn't even know what that was. She helped Mama cook supper and went out and took pictures of the horses which made Daddy smile, and one time when Liam went outside after dinner to read she was there crying, on the porch, quiet with her hand over her mouth, and Liam hung back and didn't know what to say. "Sorry," she said, dashing at her cheeks with the heel of her hand. She licked her lips and nodded at his book, sniffing. "That's a good one. You should read the sequel, too." He did, and told her about it, and she smiled like a sunrise, the way she always did, and he felt like—he didn't even know, what he felt like.

Liam was the best man at their wedding. He felt and looked ridiculous. Fifteen in a tux and he didn't know how to tie a bow-tie, but Cordi didn't either, so Daddy had to do it for both of them, grumbling the whole time that they should've learned this by now. "Not a lot of bowties in Kandahar, Daddy," Cordell said, winking at Liam, and Liam—blushed. Ridiculous, and embarrassing, the way the whole affair and the lead-up had felt, but Cordell didn't seem to care or notice, so—there was Liam, blushing in a bowtie.

Cordell had only been back for a year and somehow things were off. He was serving the rest of his contract out in the reserves but he wasn't finishing up his degree like he'd told Mama he would. He'd entered the training program for the state troopers and was set up to be a highway cop, of all things. He'd rented a house in Austin with Emily and they lived together the whole year before the wedding—an argument with Daddy about that one, which Liam listened to from the hallway with his heart pounding—and they weren't even going to be married in the church because Emily didn't want a wedding mass and, Liam suspected, Cordell didn't either. Daddy lost that argument, too.

The wedding was tiny. Liam the best man, Geri the maid of honor. Emily's aunt that raised her on one side and Daddy and Mama on the other, and a handful of Cordell and Emily's friends making up the numbers in the little rented hall. Afterward they had a bigger barbecue out at the ranch and in front of the crowd Emily fed Cordell a dainty forkful of the lemon cake and Cordell responded by dotting a tiny bit of frosting on her nose and kissing it off, and Mama's best friend Sue-Ellen sighed and said to Mama, where Liam could hear, "Well, Abilene, maybe they're atheists but I daresay you raised that boy right every other way," and Mama said something dry back but Liam was watching how Cordell cupped Emily's cheek in his hand, smiling down at her like she hung the moon, and he thought, yeah. Yeah, Cordell was just about perfect, wasn't he.

"High school in the fall, right?" Emily's aunt said, later. "Emily says you play soccer. Going to try out for the team?"

Cordell and Emily were dancing, swaying in the grass, the bonfire leaping up behind them. His hand still on her cheek. "I'm quitting soccer," Liam said, without even realizing he was going to. "I'm going to try out for wrestling, instead."

*

He figured out he was gay relatively early. His friends at school got hold of a Playboy in fifth grade and didn't really know what to do with it beyond blustering. This was before anyone but nerds was on the internet, and Liam was a nerd but did a decent job of hiding it. Scott beckoned Liam over while they were waiting for the buses and showed him the top of the magazine, the bold logo and the girl with her boobs pushing up out of her bra—the group of them snickering, saying how hot she was—and that they were going to look at it at Scott's house later if Liam wanted to come over—and Liam said, "No, my mom's making me go to the store with her." The lie came out effortlessly.

They did have a computer at home, and dial-up internet it had been very, very hard to argue Daddy into. He hardly knew how to find anything but he did some careful searches while Daddy was out with the horses and Mama was cooking, singing bad over the stove like she tended to. Made Liam's face hot to see some of what he was seeing. Hoyt came over, once, while Cordi was away in the war, and he helped Liam and Mama dig out a bunch of tomatoes that hadn't grown in right, and afterward they sat on the porch drinking lemonade while Mama asked Hoyt all about the oil field he said he'd been working in and Liam watched how Hoyt's legs sprawled out on the porch, how his jeans hugged up against his calf muscle and how the sweat had made his white shirt nearly transparent, and he had to sit very careful on the bench with his knees drawn up to hide the effect it had on him.

When Cordell came home from Afghanistan they threw a huge party. Everyone came, Daddy's friends and Mama's, and Emily and their friends from college, and even Hoyt, magicked up out of somewhere (for the promise of free beer, Daddy said), and then Liam, the youngest person there, watching from the corner of the porch as always. Cordi was very tan and finally bulky with muscle and his hair had grown out, just a little, from that military buzz, and he barely detached himself from Emily the whole time, his arm always around her shoulders or hers around his waist, and when they did step apart his eyes followed her and she watched him right back, smiling at the most random times. Liam was fourteen and a little more aware of the world and he wondered abruptly if they'd had sex yet. Cordi had only been home one day and he'd slept at the ranch and not at Emily's apartment. How would they have found the time?

He was chewing his thumbnail over it when a sweaty weight crashed down on his shoulders, arms trapping his in. Hoyt. "Hey there, Stinker," Hoyt said, and Liam shrugged fretfully and said, "Don't call me that," and Hoyt laughed at him but stood up and ruffled Liam's hair completely backwards instead.

"Still pretty shrimpy," he said. He was grinning, like he had some big secret. "You planning on growing up anytime soon, champ?"

"Don't you have a sketchy job to get to?" Liam said, annoyed. He tried to fix his hair and gave it up as a lost cause the second Hoyt's grin got bigger. Asshole.

Hoyt sipped his beer. Twenty-one—he was allowed, although Liam had noticed that Mama was being a little free with handing out drinks to Emily's college friends. "Glad big bro's home, I bet," Hoyt said.

Liam didn't dignify that with a response. Hoyt laughed, under his breath, and held out the beer for Liam to take, which he did because he didn't know what else to do. "Go on," Hoyt said, nodding at it. "I won't tell your mama. Not fair that everyone else gets to celebrate while little Liam's sober. And boring."

"I'm not boring," Liam said, although he knew he was because half the kids at school clearly thought so. He took a sip of the beer, anyway, not knowing if Hoyt would snatch it away. Nasty, and he made a face that made Hoyt hoot, and then he took a bigger gulp, determined at least to get something out of it.

"There he goes," Hoyt said, weirdly delighted, and he clapped Liam on the shoulder the same way he would Cordi when they were in high school, and the bit of warm in Liam's belly went lower. "That's a welcome home."

Liam kept the beer, curled against his chest. He felt dumb holding it and also weirdly adult. "He's not even here," he said. Sort of scoffing. "Doesn't matter."

Hoyt curled his arm around Liam's shoulders again and ignored how he went stiff, and nodded out at the party. Music playing from a radio Daddy had set up on a truck-bed. Emily and Cordell, dancing in the firelight. Same as it would be for the wedding reception a year from then, although of course Liam didn't know that at the time. "Aw, he's here," Hoyt said. He squeezed Liam's shoulders. He smelled strange, like—skunk, and Mama's compost bin. It was gross but also kind of appealing and Liam shifted, hoping his dumb body wouldn't react. "He's just with his girl, and who could blame him. No call for getting jealous."

He wasn't jealous. Not—exactly. That night after Mama and Daddy went to bed the party kept on, and Liam went to his room and watched from the dark window, the bonfire still going and all the college kids still going, too. When he finally fell asleep he had a strange, blurry dream about Hoyt—building a bonfire together, and Hoyt smiling at him and being a jackass and then touching his face, the same way Cordell touched Emily's face, and then Hoyt touching his stomach, low—and then the dream shifted, the weird way dreams shift, and it was Cordell, touching his stomach, and smiling at him, and leaning in close—with his hair longer like it was before he enlisted—but wearing for some reason the dumb khaki shirt of his uniform—and then Cordell's hand—

When he woke up he was soaked and it was bright morning. He washed his underwear out in the sink, feeling like his head was screwed on to someone else's body, and then he hid the underwear in the hamper, and showered, and tried not to think about it. He had that dream or one like it on and off for years, until he finally lost his virginity to Michael in college and it went away. He never told his therapist about it, or Bret, or anyone. He could rationalize it but he couldn't ever acknowledge it out loud because of what it—felt like, to think about it. To make it real in a place that wasn't just his stupid, crazy, dreaming head.

He had the dream again the night before he came out to his parents. January 2nd, trying out his new year's resolution of honesty. He figured in a ruthless sort of way that if his parents kicked him out or hated him or tried to change him then at least he had early acceptance at UT for the fall and a full scholarship and it was just eight months where his life would be completely over.

Cordell was at home on the ranch and Liam figured that's what triggered it. A couple days of vacation, since he'd worked over Christmas, and he and Emily and baby Stella had stayed up for ringing in the new year, and everyone had taken turns kissing Stella's forehead when midnight struck. Liam had been allowed a glass of champagne, Mama not even fussing about it since it was a holiday and the house was full—so he had two glasses—and when he went to bed he could still hear Cordell laughing from the front room, telling Daddy some story about a bust on the highway, something about stolen Santa suits, something light.

He dreamed they were swimming, up at the lake, and Cordell was naked. Laughing, that same too-loud booming laugh, but just because he was happy and not like he was making fun. Being kind to Liam. Holding him from behind with his arms around Liam's chest, their legs slipping together in the water. Liam could imagine what it would be like for a man to do something to him, he'd seen porn by that point, and he'd seen Cordell naked too because of the vagaries of living in an old house without a lock on the bathroom door, but somehow there was still a disconnect in his head. He was turned on beyond belief but nothing—happened, just the vagueness of Cordell behind him. His big hands.

Mama took Emily and the baby in to town, that day, for shopping. Daddy said they'd just bought half of Macy's and Mama shushed him so Daddy was up at the barn, checking over the new foal. Liam sat on the porch with a cup of coffee and watched birds come to the new feeder Mama had got from Emily and he tried to rehearse it, in his head. What to say. He'd seen it in movies but it didn't feel possible to come out of his mouth.

Cordell sat by him, on the bench swing. "Since when do you drink coffee?" he said. Then, less casual: "Is that my mug?"

"Yes," Liam said, and didn't protest when Cordell took it out of his hands. He rubbed his palms on his jeans. He had a hard time talking to Cordi after he had one of those dreams and so it was a relief that most of the time Cordell wasn't around, that he was in town at the house he shared with his wife. With his wife, Liam reminded himself, as though that could help. Another thing to make Liam different. Wrestling instead of football, reading books instead of riding, and now—this, on top of everything.

"Whatever's going on," Cordell said. Liam blinked, came back to the world. The cold, and the swing barely rocking from how Cordi had set his boot on the porch and pushed, and Cordell looking at him very steadily. "You know you can tell me, right?"

Liam swallowed. "Even if it's—" Bad is what came to his mouth and he shook his head. He prayed about this, he resolved. It's not bad. "Weird?"

"If it weren't weird you probably wouldn't be being so weird about it," Cordi said, frank, and Liam shoved his shoulder. The dream dissipated just like that. How could he possibly be crushing on his brother when his brother is this much of a jerk. Cordell swayed, grinning, letting Liam push him even if Cordell outweighed him then by fifty pounds, but then he set his hand on the back of Liam's neck, more serious. "Whatever it is. We can figure it out."

Liam licked his lips, and nodded. He knew then that was going to tell Cordell the one secret, if not the whole of it, before they left the porch that morning, and Cordi would—back him up, with Mama and Daddy, even if he didn't get it. "Give me back the coffee," he said, and Cordell raised his eyebrows but passed it back, so Liam could take a gulp. The caffeine probably wouldn't help but maybe it wouldn't hurt, and it felt nice to hold the mug. "Promise you won't freak," Liam said then, even if he was—mostly, ninety percent, pretty sure—and Cordell said, immediately, "I promise," and Liam believed him. That was the thing, with Cordell, in those days. It was easy to believe him.

*

It's Mama who calls, when Emily dies. Liam's already in bed because he's got court in the morning and Bret shoves at his shoulder, says, "Oh my god answer it and then change your ringtone, I hate that song," and Liam's still fuzzy from sleep and doesn't quite process that there's no good reason Mama would be calling him after nine o'clock in Texas because she always thought that was bad manners, it had been drilled into him all his life, and he says, mumbly, still waking up, "Hey, Mama," and there's a sharp intake of breath on the other side of the line before she says, Honey, I'm sorry, but I have real bad news.

He flies out the next day. Bret tries to dissuade him. "There's nothing you can do right now," he says, as though that's the point. JFK to Austin-Bergstrom is four and a half hours and he spends the whole time with his chest this weird achy knot. It doesn't feel real but it is. He texted Mama his flight plan and she says that Daddy will pick him up at the airport, and when he gets into the truck Daddy shakes his head and says, "Good to see you, son," but without any truth to it. Liam doesn't take it personally.

Cordell's not at the ranch when they get there but the kids are. "Hi, Uncle Liam," Stella says, remarkably clear, until he hugs her, and then she curls his hands into his shirt and cries silently, her shoulders shaking. August doesn't get up from the couch, sitting there with one arm crossed over his chest and the other over his mouth, and he looks—Liam's always shocked by it—so exactly like his mother. Stella's a copy of her grandmother, to the point that Mama set her prom picture side by side with Stella's first dance photo and the only real difference was the dress—but Auggie always took after Emily, from coloring to temperament to those long straight eyebrows, that mouth that curves up into a wide, easy smile. Not smiling now, and not for a while, and when Stella pulls away and wipes her eyes Liam sits down next to Auggie and sets his hand on the back of his neck and Auggie just folds over, quiet, like whatever was holding him up just isn't there anymore.

"Where is he?" Liam asks Mama, in the kitchen later. The sun's going down. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours.

Mama's eyes are red-rimmed. "Where do you think?" she says.

Liam takes the truck. Lady Bird Lake is officially closed at night but of course that makes no difference. He parks and walks, up to the lookout, and Cordell doesn't hear him coming. He's sitting on the steps to the gazebo, his elbows braced on his knees. The light hitting his hair. Long again. Liam doesn't know how he's always skirting regs and getting away with it, except of course Cordi gets away with everything. Golden child.

He regrets the thought as soon as he has it. "Cordi," he says, and Cordell looks up in complete surprise. Liam smiles at him, as much as he can, and comes and sits on the step. He tries to think of what to say and can't come up with anything.

"Aren't you in court tomorrow?" Cordell says, after they sit there for thirty seconds. His voice sounds thick and distant.

Liam shakes his head. "Today," he says, and Cordell nods and huffs and says, "Right," and then looks down at his hands again. They're twisted together, his thumb rubbing hard and repeatedly at the mount of his other palm. Liam reaches over and puts his hand over the knot of Cordell's fingers and Cordell's jaw flexes but he lets Liam do it. "I'm sorry," Liam says.

"Everyone is," Cordell says, halfway bitter. Liam squeezes his hands and Cordell makes a rough low noise, some sound Liam has never heard him make. "Jesus. They won't let me go in to work."

"Of course they won't," Liam says, and Cordell pulls his hands away, pushes them into his hair. "Cordi, they have to—they're going to be looking for who did it and it has to be by the books so it'll stick. They're not going to risk screwing it up."

"I just want to—" Cordell cuts himself off but Liam can imagine what goes there. He touches Cordell's back instead and the muscle flinches. Set to fly off the handle any second. Fight or flight, but Cordell never used to run from anything and Liam can't imagine he's going to start now.

He stands up. "Wrestle me," he says.

Cordell looks up. "What?"

Genuine surprise. At least it's not misery. "Come on," Liam says. "See if you can pin me." These jeans are nice, were a gift from Bret, but he'll sacrifice them. He holds out a hand and Cordell lets himself be pulled upright, and it's a shock like it always is when Liam's been too long away, how much taller Cordi still is. Liam always was the shrimp. He pushes Cordell's chest, lightly, and Cordell slaps his hands away. "Cordi," Liam says, coaxing, and pulls at Cordell's wrist. "Let me take your mind off it."

Stupid thing to say and he knows it as soon as he says it. Cordell gives him an ugly look and shoves him for real. "Take my mind off it?" he says, while Liam's staggering backwards. Liam sets his boots in the dirt and braces, and when Cordell pushes him again Liam grapples, and they are wrestling, then. It's sloppy, bad holds, both of them in too-slick boots for this ground. Liam manages to swing Cordell around and get his back on the ground but Cordi's always been stronger and shoves him off, and then they're just—flat-out scrambling, Liam's hand sinking into a patch of mud and both of them breathing hard, Cordell twisting out of his grip and getting an arm over his chest, tight, before Liam eels over and flips them—gets Cordell on his back on the dirt—his leg over Cordell's—and then Cordi drops his head back against the ground and taps out, panting.

"You been practicing?" Cordell says. His eyes are closed.

Liam sits up, says, "Class at my gym." Cordi nods and Liam gets off him, kneels next to him in the dirt. The gazebo's bright and the skyline's pretty, on the other side of the lake. Liam looks at that instead of at his brother, so he won't have to see the tears seeping down Cordell's temples, wetting his hair.

"It's not okay," Liam says. He sets a hand on Cordell's chest. At the DA's office in Manhattan he's comforted widows, widowers, orphans. Some of them seeking justice but most of them knowing it won't really be found. Cordell, he thinks, is one of the latter type, but Liam tries out the lines he's learned anyway. "It's not okay and it's not fair. I can't pretend I know what you're going through but I'm sorry." He swallows, his throat trying to close without his say-so. "Jesus. I'm so sorry, Cordi."

"Yeah," Cordell says, rough, and grips Liam's wrist. When Liam looks down Cordell's eyes are still closed. They stay there for a while, by the lake, long past when it's uncomfortable.

When they finally get up, Liam's knees creak like an old man's but Cordell doesn't make the joke he should. He leaves Cordell's truck and drives them both back into town, and gets drive-through Whataburger that Cordell picks at instead of eating, and says, "Do you want to go back to the ranch?" and isn't surprised when Cordell shakes his head, no. They get a hotel instead, two queens and a respectable mini-bar, and Liam calls Mama from next to the ice machine in the hall and says that he's got Cordell, and they're fine, and they'll be back in the morning. She clearly wants to object but doesn't know how and Liam hangs up before she can figure it out.

He gets back, with the ice. Cordell's sitting on the end of the bed watching the news like it's the Superbowl. "I was thinking about the funeral," Cordell says, when the door closes behind Liam. "I have to plan the funeral and I don't even have her body."

Liam sets the bucket on the bar and sits on the other bed. "We'll help," Liam says. Cordell's cheek sucks in on one side. "You don't have to do any of this alone."

"Yeah," Cordell says, remote, and Liam looks at him. Weird hollowness in his stomach and he realizes only after a second why: it's the first time, all his life, that he can remember Cordell lying to him.

*

The Rodeo Kings operation is supposed to be quick. Three months, is the estimate: to get in, to learn the operation, to get out. They need an agent who can be convincingly skilled as a traveling rider, who knows a ranch operation, who can act. There's a depressingly short list and one name at the top of it. Everyone thinks it's a bad idea except for Graves, and Cordell.

"It'll give me something to think about that's not this," Cordell says, when Liam's trying to talk him out of it. They're on the back patio of his and Emily's house in town. The kids are still staying out at the ranch. It's two weeks after the funeral and they haven't gone back to school. Cordell hasn't shaved in a few days and the sound as he scratches his jaw is loud. There's no music playing from the kitchen window, like there used to be. The plants out here are already dying. Liam wants to grip Cordell's shoulders, get in his face and yell, but doesn't dare to. He gets a deep sigh, instead, and Cordell flipping a poker chip between his fingers like a restless card shark, and then a smile, fake as fake. "Anyway, who do you know who can ride a bull better than me?"

"No one," Liam says, and Cordell nods, like damn straight, and in the morning Liam goes in to the Travis County DA and announces he'd like to transfer offices, due to a family emergency that's going to keep him here in Texas, and it's only afterward when some calls are made and the paperwork's signed that he calls Bret, back in Manhattan, and leaves a voicemail that he's going to be staying a lot longer than he thought.

It isn't three months. As the operation drags on, Liam sweet-talks his way into being one of the assistant attorneys on the case and he tries to alleviate how Graves is getting more and more suspicious. Cordell's old partner James gets promoted to captain, six months in, and he vouches for Cordell, too, not that it seems to matter either way. Cordell's the one who's embedded with the rodeo and he'll either finish the job or he won't. They don't have another agent to send in, not without compromising the work that's been done so far, and nothing else will do but to wait.

The kids ask Liam for updates every week when he comes for dinner at the ranch. "I can't tell you everything," he says, like he does every time, and Daddy's quiet at the head of the table, and Mama quieter on the opposite side. Cordell has a rendezvous every Monday when the rodeo takes the day off with a burner cell phone and an agent waiting impatiently for his call, and his reports are terse: still trying to get them to trust me. They're suspicious of newcomers. The ring seems really tight and I can't figure out an opening. Give me time. He's allowed to call Liam the same day and Liam answers every unknown number on Mondays, giving hope to spam callers nationwide. Cordell usually sounds tired but he still calls and they have a dumb, simple conversation—about how the Rangers beat the Angels, how he's breaking in some new boots and has a blister the size of Indiana, how he's craving, inexplicably, sushi. "Sushi?" Liam asks, trying to imagine when Cordell ever tried it, and Cordi says, with rare humor, "Hey, I'm not a big fancy New York lawyer but I've had my share of raw fish," and when Liam hands the phone over to the kids they lean over the speakerphone and talk over the top of each other about a class project Stella did, and a history paper Auggie got an A+ on, and Liam watches with his hand over his mouth for the moment when Cordell has to interrupt and say, tired-sounding still, "Sorry, guys, I have to go," and the goodbyes have to be quick, and then that's it, for another week.

The first time Liam sees him when he's Duke it's a shock to the system. Seven months in and the reporting agent says that Walker missed his check-in. Walker—that's what they all call him, even when Liam's in the room with them. There's a small frenzy in the operation office. Graves calls for Cordell's head, predictably at this point. James, trying again to calm her down, but looking a little like he agrees. Liam leaves the office unnoticed and walks outside to feel cold air on his face and feel less—how he feels—and there's a text, on his phone, from an unknown number. The Alibi, Driskill ST, thirty minutes. Come alone.

Ridiculously illicit. Liam takes off his suit-jacket and tie and ruffles his hair into something unprofessional and goes. It's hard to park—Monday night football—and inside is the opposite of his scene but he finds a seat at the bar. A girl in a too-tight orange t-shirt gives him a once-over and he smiles tightly, ignores her, drinks a watery beer, and almost exactly on the thirty-minute mark someone sits down next to him and it's—not his brother.

Duke Culpepper was the fake name they picked. Originally from Texas but had some misdemeanors that made Texas unfriendly so he'd been hiding out in Tucson for a few years, working the rodeo there. Not dangerous but willing to get up to something that was, and he looks the part. He smells like sweat and horse manure and hay and some shitty, awful aftershave, and there's a bruise on his jaw like someone suckerpunched him, and he doesn't look at Liam but smiles sweet at the bartender and says, with a fake low drawl, "Darlin', I wouldn't mind a shot of bourbon, when you have a chance."

Jesus, Liam thinks. The bartender has an expression like Cordell slid a hand down the front of her jeans and made her the happiest woman alive—the shot takes about ten seconds to arrive, when Liam's been waiting for a second beer for five minutes. Cordell knocks it back in one motion and says, "Again, and—" and he turns, like he noticed Liam for the first time, "another round for my friend, here. We're celebratin'."

She blinks, notices Liam's empty glass. While the next round's being prepared Liam raises his eyebrows and plays his part. "What are we celebrating?"

"Got a new job," Cordell says—but no—it's Duke, who's saying it, Duke who's drawling lazy and has his hat cocked at an off-angle and who's got a bandana tied around his wrist which for some goddamn reason is working the whole, hot-ass look.

"Congrats," the bartender says, and Duke grins wide and winks at her and downs the second shot, letting out a little whoop. "Another?"

"Better make it a double this time, sweetheart," Duke says, and Liam puts his hand on the warm lean stretch of thigh knocking against his under the bar and squeezes, very lightly, a warning, and sees Cordell's eyes tighten just slightly, and sees how his shoulders round out, like he's ready to get in a fight. Cordell takes a deep breath and toasts the bartender, but turns to look at Liam, face a grinning glad mask. "Got a new girl, too. Real pretty."

The bartender's disappointment would be funny, any other time. "Your lucky day, then, huh?" Liam says. Cordell's knee presses hard into his under the bar. "Girl got a name?"

"Miss Twyla Jean," Cordell says, almost crooning it, and Liam raises his eyebrows—he thought they had embarrassing Texas names—and then Cordell downs the double-shot, grimacing at the sting, and then says, much quieter so that only Liam can hear: "All it took was me making it eleven seconds on a bull and she took me straight to bed."

Liam takes a deep breath. Cordell's jaw flexes, in the silence, and he puts the empty shot glass on the bar. "Thanks for celebrating with me," he says, and slides off the barstool, backwards. He grips Liam's shoulder so hard that it actually hurts. "Gotta get back. Job won't do itself."

"Godspeed," Liam says, toasting with his beer, and Cordell gives him a tight smile and tugs his cap and walks out of the bar, taking with him the smell of the stables and his too-tight jeans and this sensation under Liam's gut that's murky and dangerous, unsettled. His shoulder hurts. It's only after he's written down Twyla Jean's name and texted it to James, and gone home to the apartment where Bret's still bitching about the décor, and taken a shower, and pressed his forehead against the cold tile, that he realizes that Cordell was wearing a fucking Texas Rangers cap. The absolute bastard.

*

The night he hears from Cordell again he has a fight with Bret. The same fight, worked over the same way. Bret hates Texas. He hates being away from his friends. He hates the politics and the food and how Liam's always with his family. He doesn't want to go to family dinner at the ranch because he's sure Liam's dad hates him. "He doesn't hate you," Liam says, for the fifth time, but to be honest he's not sure. Daddy never seems to like Bret that much, either. Cordi's never met him and Liam wonders, like he's wondered many times, if they'd get along, at all. Wonders if that'd be a dealbreaker and then wonders, washing dishes while Bret watches MSNBC in chilly silence, if the fact that he's wondering if it would be a dealbreaker makes it a dealbreaker, after all.

The text comes as a relief. Annunziata's. He dresses down more carefully than the first time. It's a weird spot, on the outskirts of town where it feels less like Austin than like a suburb. Karaoke and Italian food and mostly-fake cowboys slapping their knees to the absolutely horrific song being sung—very suburb. And there, at a table right by what passes for a stage: Cordell. But, no: Duke, Duke Culpepper, with his arm slung around the shoulders of Twyla Jean and his lips on her ear, grinning, wild. It catches Liam's breath like it did the first time. Duke, confident in his body and happy and having a good time, easy. Hot. Jesus, Liam doesn't get how it's so hot.

He waits in the backroom and watches Cordell shoves his face into the water. It's disturbing how panicked he is, once he's Cordell again and not Duke. "You have to," he's saying—babbling—"You have to tell them, they're going to kill people, you can't let them go through with it—" but of course that's not either of their decision and Liam can't help. It's awful, an awful awful feeling. His big brother looking to him for an answer he can't give. Cordell pushes his hair back from his face and puts his hat back on and looks miserable but he goes back, he sits right back down with that girl and lets her slide her hand down his thigh up the inseam of his jeans and Liam watches from the corner of the bar, where he won't be seen, drinking a beer he doesn't want, seeing his brother be someone who's not his brother. Maybe someone his brother could have been. They're going to sleep together, tonight. Liam knows it. They've been fucking for three months. Is it easy, he wonders. It shouldn't be, for Cordell, but maybe for Duke it is.

He goes home to Bret and wakes him up, and apologizes for the earlier fight, and kisses him, and gets Bret on his belly, and fucks him that way, a little hard, kissing the back of his neck, making Bret gasp and flinch and groan, delighted. "Where did that come from," Bret says, lazy and satisfied, and when he falls asleep Liam takes a shower and then only then calls James, from the hall outside their apartment door, leaning with his forehead against the wall. The bank location has been obvious since Cordell reported about Twyla Jean; the only thing that wasn't certain was the time. It'll be fine, James says, firm, and hangs up on Liam to coordinate with the rest of the team now that Agent Walker has finally come back in from the cold, and Liam stands there with his eyes closed in the hall and thinks, yes. Yes, it'll be fine.

After the bank—after the clean-up—Graves debriefs Cordell for a long time. It borders on unlawful interrogation at a certain point but Liam doesn't dare intervene when she's this furious—he can't risk being taken off the case. It takes James making a call to her supervisor at the field office, who then calls her and pulls her out of the room, for Cordell to be given a reprieve, and Liam goes in to the conference room and finds Cordell still in the stupid black hoodie stained with Crystal West's blood, his head in his hands, breathing with his mouth open like he can't get enough air.

"Cordi," Liam says, and Cordell shakes his head. Liam licks his lips and checks the hall. No one's guarding them—they wouldn't, because Walker's one of their own—and he says, "Get up." Cordell looks up at him, finally. "Come on, quick before she gets back. Come with me."

Cordell follows him. Down the hall, left to go through the atrium instead of the bullpen, then through the glass doors to the hall to, at last, the men's room, and Cordell stands in the middle of the tile blinking until Liam nods at the sinks and says, "Do it."

He's sloppier about it, this time. His hair hangs dripping in front of his face. He pushes it off his forehead and looks up at himself, in the mirror, panting a little. Water drips off his nose.

Liam brings him paper towels and he dries his face. "You should take that off," Liam says, and Cordell looks down at his clothes like he has no idea what he's wearing and only just realized, and tears off the hoodie in an awkward tangle. Underneath his t-shirt is black so Liam can't tell if it's stained. The big silver cross swings from his neck.

"What happened," Cordell says. A croak.

"Graves didn't tell you?" Liam says, and then bites his tongue. Obviously not. "Clint and Crystal are both dead. Clint at the bank. Crystal crashed the car. They think she passed out. Blood loss." Cordell nods, tight, looking away. These are his friends, Liam reminds himself. These are the people he knew, the only people he really talked to, for almost a year. "Two more people died at the bank. Twyla wasn't there and we don't have information to tie her to the job. I don't know where Jaxon is but we have people looking. They're still trying to recover the stolen money."

"Graves did tell me that much," Cordell says, and turns around, leaning his ass against the sink. It's slowly draining, behind him. "I think she wants to arrest me since she can't arrest them."

"I think so, too," Liam says, and Cordell smiles a little. He looks like he hasn't slept all year. "You did your job. It's over."

"It's not over," Cordell says, immediately. He drags his hand through his hair. "Graves made that clear. The money's still missing and Twyla and Jax are in the wind."

"And Duke's being sent to jail," Liam says. "So his part in the Rodeo Kings gang is over."

Cordell wipes his fingers over his mouth. He's still wearing that bandana around his wrist. Liam wants to take it off of him. Throw it away, burn it. "Duke Culpepper, common criminal," Cordell says, drawling it a little.

"Never liked him anyway," Liam says, and Cordell smiles, dropping his head. Liam touches his shoulder, grips his neck. "Hey. Means you get to come home. The kids will be over the moon."

"Yeah," Cordell says. He brackets a loose hand around Liam's wrist and nods. "Yeah. Can't wait."

His smile faded, as soon as Liam said it. Liam thinks about that, for that whole night, and for the whole next day, after, when James tells him that Cordell put in for one week's leave. "You talked to him?" Liam says, and James shakes his head, says, "He called Connie. I think he still doesn't even know I'm the captain."

He tells Mama and Daddy that Cordell will be home next Wednesday. Stella's frowning, not eating her dinner. "I saw that bank robbery on the news," she says. Auggie's big-eyed, watching, next to her. "Was that Dad's big case?"

"It was," Liam says, and Auggie's eyes get bigger. "But there's a debriefing period. We need to make sure his undercover identity doesn't have any loose ends that'll tie him back to his real one."

Daddy's eyes narrow and Mama's quiet. Liam got pretty good at lying, over the years, but he never was quite able to fool them.

He calls Cordell the next day. "Tell me where you are," he says, and Cordell doesn't answer for a long moment, letting the silence stretch out over the cell line. Liam considers it a victory that he even answered the phone.

He has a room at the Fairmont, on the fifteenth floor. Liam knocks and it's a minute before the door opens. Cordell's in bare feet, jeans, an ACL t-shirt. Liam follows him in and the room is—nicer than Liam's current apartment, that's for sure. King bed, outstanding view. "Wow," Liam says, and Cordell says, "Better than the Super 8 in Kermit," sort of sarcastic, and then sits down on the bed like he can't stand up anymore.

Liam doesn't sit. He doesn't think he's really invited, even if Cordell let him in the door. "I told them next Wednesday," he said. "Mom and Dad, and the kids. A week. Do you think that'll be enough time?"

"Honestly?" Cordell says, and doesn't elaborate.

There's a table, with four chairs, like a dining area. On it a box, like one of the evidence boxes from the office. Liam walks over and tips back the lid and: there's Duke Culpepper. The striped shirt he wore when Liam met him at Annunziata's. That was—god, only three days ago. A plastic bottle of aftershave. The cross necklace. The gun. Liam picks it up and checks the revolving chamber—that one bullet, still ready. It makes him nauseous just like it did the first time.

"I know you're probably not okay," Liam says. Understatement, he thinks, of the century. He closes the box and pushes it away, toward the center of the table. When he turns around Cordell's holding the beer in one hand and playing with a poker chip, in the other. "I know you're going to need some time. But when you're done, we need you back. The kids, and Mom and Dad. And me."

"C'mon, you don't need anybody, Stinker," Cordell says, with the barest thread of levity. "You climb right up to the top of the barn all by yourself, when no one's around to stop you."

Liam pauses, confused by the subject change. Surprised, then. "You were there for that?" he says, and Cordell shrugs, one corner of his mouth lifting.

When Liam was eleven, and Cordell was at college, and the world hadn't yet turned over on its head. It was early August and his school hadn't started, and Daddy and Mama had gone over to the feed store to pick up a truckload for the horses. He was bored, and tired of reading, and he'd gone out to the barn and looked up at it and thought about how Cordell had done it, at his age or maybe even younger, and if Cordell could then Liam could, too, if he set his mind to it. It wasn't even all that hard, once he was looking careful for the places to set his feet. He sat down on the top of the barn and looked out over the ranch—and further, over the where the road into the ranch pushed out into the hills, down toward the town. He wondered how far he could really see, to the horizon.

"Swung by to pick up my football stuff," Cordell says, now. "Em parked on the other side of the house and I didn't think anyone was home, until I looked out the back. You were up there just—taller than anything." He shrugs. "See? Didn't need my help after all."

"I wouldn't have climbed it if you hadn't dropped me on my head," Liam says, and Cordell snorts, shakes his head. Liam bites the inside of his cheek and crouches, and Cordell's forced to look at him or be ridiculous and so Cordell looks at him. Liam reaches out and gets his hand, the hand with the poker chip, and squeezes it, and Cordell swallows and squeezes back. The edges of the plastic bite into Liam's hand. "Come back," he says.

Cordell takes a deep breath. "I will," he says. "I promise, Liam."

Liam stands up and hugs him, around the shoulders, and walks out of the room. He takes the elevator back to the lobby and steps out into the sunshine, and takes a deep breath, and calls Bret to arrange lunch. Cordell's promises.  Fifty-fifty, anymore, that it ends up being true. Liam decides to believe him. He's hardheaded. He might as well be hardheaded and optimistic about it.

[defenderrosetyler]

Short Straw

Prompt from @flamencodiva​ : “Right, who’s drawn the short straw this time?”

Beta: @wonder-cole​

A/N: I love Gen, and I love the couple that she and Jared make, but this is a pure act of fiction and they are not together for the purpose of this fic!!

A/N 2: The song in this fic is Burn it to the Ground from Nickleback.

“Come on Y/N, just go over and talk to him! He’s cute, and attractive, he may even buy you a drink,” one of her friends pestered her. Y/N rolled her eyes as she tugged at her ponytail and tightened it. She’d been keeping her hair pulled back a lot during the Texas heat. She and her friends had been called out to Texas to be extras in the new reboot of Walker the TV show with the one and only Jared Padalecki. Jared was attractive in his previous role of Sam Winchester in Supernatural. For his new role as Cordell Walker, the widowed Texas Ranger? Damn he looked smokin “Drawing of sticks?” Y/N asked.  

Out of the three friends gathered extra straws they had asked for and each took their own, before revealing who had the shorter of the two…. “Right, who’s drawn the short straw this time?” One of the friends said before Y/N’s face lit up bright red. The other two girls giggled, moving to push Y/N towards where Jared had been hiding and not recognized much by the fans in the area. The western cowboy hat was helping conceal who he was. Most Texans had a cowboy hat in this area anyway, so hardly anyone noticed.

Gathering her courage, Y/N grabbed her own brown western hat, swallowed the lump in her throat, walking over toward Jared’s tall shadow. She politely tapped him on the shoulder and he turned and y/c/e met Jareds and Y/n felt whatever words she was going to say to him fall right at the tip of her tongue. His eyes were beautiful, they reminded Y/N of  a mosaic, each sliver of his iris a different color - blue, green, gold, brown. 

“Let me guess, you were the loser of rock paper scissors.” Jared says seeing Y/N in stunned shock and amazement and knew this was common when fangirls approached him. Blinking as she registered what he’d said to her, Y/N nodded embarrassed as her cheeks flushed a bright red color. 

“Is it that obvious?” Jared nodded with a chuckle. 

Of course Jared knew this game. He and former co-star Jensen Ackles, did this all the time; well, in character anyway. Jared and Jensen, aka Sam and Dean Winchester, always won their arguments over a game of rock paper scissors. To which Sam was usually the winner, only on a few rare occasions did the younger brother let the elder win. 

Y/N let out a breath, hearing him laugh, so she wasn’t making a total fool of herself anyway. That was good at least. Rubbing the back of her neck, Y/N tried to feel less awkward. “Can I buy you a drink?” “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” Jared says, his tone could almost be taken as a flirt. “How about this, I buy you a drink, and you owe me a dance out on the floor?” 

It was a compromise. One all y/n could do in response is nod. She did have a drink at her table, but she wasn’t about to turn Jared down. After looking at Y/N for what seemed like forever, he smiled, placing her order to the bartender. Placed in Y/N’s hand was a jack and coke. Something simple, yet not too strong for her; Thank goodness there were such services like Uber and a taxi that could take her home if she needed it. She sure as hell wasn’t driving after all the alcohol in her system. “So, what brings you to Texas?’ Jared asks, trying to start a normal conversation with Y/N. 

After the first round of drinks were completed, Jared held out his hand for her, leaving the woman to blink as she heard the guitar of a song kicked on followed by its bass. Y/N paled. “Jare, no.” 

Jared laughed as he kept pulling Y/N to the dance floor where there was a group gathering to dance with the tune. She’d had enough drinks in her to definitely not be coordinated enough for this. Having looked up the song when she was on her way down, and the dance, Y/N knew she was in a world of trouble.

Well, it's midnight, damn right

We're wound up too tight

Wasn’t that the truth, it wasn’t midnight, but it was damn near close…. Y/N watched the steps for the first round and tried to talk it aloud to herself. Jared was already in the line and kicking up his leg and clearly having fun.

We're going off tonight

To kick out every light

Take anything we want

Drink everything in sight

We're going till the world stops turning

While we burn it to the ground tonight

Y/N took a deep breath and moved in step with the crowd. The steps weren’t difficult per say, but it wasn’t the easiest thing to do. Thank God her boots weren’t terribly high heeled. Her eyes widened when it came to the kicking portion of the dance, and Jared’s leg went as high as his collar bone. When Y/N tried, all she could do was kick as high as her hips. 

The more turns performed, the more Y/N started to let loose around Jared. On one of the turns, Y/N lost her footing and ended up tripping into the taller man's arms, his muscles holding her to his chest. As he helped her stand, Jared’s lips inched toward hers, pressing against hers gently.

The house door slammed as Y/N was pinned against it. She and Jared had shared a few soft kisses in the cab seat of the Uber they’d ordered, using Jared’s card, as much as Y/N had insisted she pay, since he’d bought most of their drinks. Y/N’s panties were soaked, and she hoped Jared knew it. The man had run his hands up to her legs and had stopped at her knees. Damn her for not wearing a skirt. Then again, with that leg kicking, flashing underwear would not have been the smartest choice.

“Jared,” Y/N gasped and moaned. Jared’s kisses were down her neck and nipping at the flesh of her collar bone, his cock hard against his jeans and clearly he needed attention too. “Shh,” he whispered, kissing her, pulling Y/N with him towards the bedroom. While walking, Y/N tried to tug at his shirt, how the hell did he manage to keep that hat on? Oh that's right, he wore button down shirts. The button down shirt was torn open, buttons flying across the wood floor, causing Y/N to giggle.

Jared sits Y/N down on the bed and makes quick removal of her jeans and her black lacy thong, all in one movement. “Hold on tight baby girl.” Jared says as his Cordell Walker accent kicked in and it took all Y/N had in her to not cum on the spot with his words

Before Y/N could let out her next breath, Jared had her legs over his shoulders, his mouth mere inches away from her pussy, blowing warm air just across her sensitive clit. Goosebumps prickled Y/N’s flesh, causing her to shiver, causing Jared to smirk at her. Moans filled the bedroom as Jared continued to work her clit. “You like that don’t you, you little whore” he says. Fingers curled inside Y/N, looking for that ultimate sweet spot inside her, the spot that would leave her cumming all over his fingers and possibly making a mess of his bedding. Oh well, it needed to be washed anyway.

“Jared, please, don’t be a tease.” Y/N begged, toes curling, back arched up as she let out a breath and came over his fingers. She hadn’t gotten a chance to warn him that she was about to be sent into her orgasm, which Jared seemed to be pleased with judging by the hot ass smirk on his face. 

“I never said I wasn’t going to be a tease baby girl,” Jared smirked as he took his mouth and began to kiss her wet pussy lips. Y/N moaned, gripping and tugging at his flesh. He’d chosen to keep the cowboy hat he'd worn at the bar after removing his shirt and damn, could he look more like a country god? Jared’s kisses were slow and gentle, Y/N didn’t mind slow and gentle. What she really wanted was that hot kind of sex you see in the movies.

“Jared, Oh fuck.” Y/N gasped as he brushed her sensitive clit, his tongue swirled inside her trembling walls as she shook as she came against Jared. Moans left her mouth as a half chant and her panting breath. The taller man didn’t give Y/N a chance to fully ride out her orgasm before shifting his position, his cock hovering at her entrance. There was a moment of him rubbing his rock hard cock against her juices. He let out a moan as he eased inside her, pushing all the way inside her till his hips were pressed against her. 

“You like that don’t you, you little cock slut. You knew where the shorter straw was, you knew you wanted me to take you here and fuck you in my bed and make you scream my name didn’t you?” Jared pants in her ear, tugging at her ear lobe, “You just wanted to be my little whore didn’t you?” Y/N was in a state of bliss, wanting to reply to him. Was he a ‘Sir’ kind of man? Or was he a ‘Daddy?’ There were so many kinks running through her head she didn’t know what to think. He was hitting places inside her she’d never had a man hit before. Then again, Jared Padalecki was a lot thicker and larger than any man she’d slept with. Jared’s movements were as smooth as a choreographed dance. Y/N wrapped her legs around his hips. Attempting if it was possible to send him even deeper inside her. “That's right baby, take all of my cock,” He grunted with each thrust, panting as he pushed himself to the edge. Truth be told, Jared had been rock hard seeing her walk into the bar hours earlier. Y/N’s jeans hugged the curves of her hips, ass, her whole body perfectly. The top she’d worn was low cut, it was clear she hadn’t been wearing a bra, could have worn one but with the size of her breasts? She had every right to show them off. 

The bedroom was filled with moans and groans from both parties occupying the bed. Cries of Jared’s name as Y/N worked through each orgasm. Positions changed every so often, Jared even asked her to ride his cock cowgirl style, to which Y/N had no problem taking his hat and smirked as if she’d been riding a mechanical bull at the bar. Jared’s cock twitched inside her as he was nearing his own orgasm, wanting to paint her walls with his white hot cum he’d been holding back for what seemed almost too long. 

Jared had nearly came in her mouth as she’d sucked him off. On her knees in between his legs, her pussy soaked from the orgasm he’d given her before they shifted to Jared receiving a blowjob. Jared was intent on pushing Y/N as far as she was able to, but she looked like she could swallow his entire length. He’d pushed gently to allow her time to adjust to his size, but holy fuck when she had the ability to push past her gag reflex? Damn it was the hottest thing he’d ever seen.

“You gonna cum for me Cowboy?” Y/N smirked as she noticed Jared’s change in rhythm. He was slamming a lot harder now and yet it was slower for a few minutes before resuming the pounding of her pussy. “Where do you want me, you little slut? Want me to cum in this little pussy and let my cum run down your leg so people know you were just fucked?” Jared pants. All Y/N could do was nod, rubbing her over sensitive clit as she’d cried out his name and pulled his mouth to hers as he cried out her name, warm ropes of hot cum exploded from the tip of his cock. As promised, as Jared slowly pulled back, white cum slowly eased out of her pussy, Y/N tried desperately to keep all of it inside her. His cum was so warm, it made her feel giddy inside. 

Jared moved to collapse on the bed, his breath heaving as he attempted to catch his breath. Both of their bodies were covered in sweat. Once able to move, Y/N moved to spoon herself into Jared’s arms. 

“Best sex we’ve had in a while,” Jared says with a smirk.

“Agreed, stranger foreplay made it more fun. I actually was glad I didn’t wear a dress, if I flashed my pussy to anyone else, you’d have gotten jealous and started a brawl then where would we be?” Jared chuckled and kissed her head, brushing away her sweat soaked hair. 

“Once we’re able to move, I’m making you a large ass breakfast.”

Jared leaned up to look down at Y/N, “Is that before or after I ask you to marry me?”

 Tags:

 @simsadventures​​ @mummybear​ @impala-dreamer​ @holylulusworld​ @snffbeebee​ @saxxxology @akshi8278​​ ​ @deansmyapplepie   @luci-in-trenchcoats @samskia-writes @winchester-fantasies​​ @talesmaniac89​​ @stusbunker​​ @idreamofplaid​ @cherrypiebbyblog​​ @cleighwrites​​ @jxackles​​ @flamencodiva​​ @wonder-cole​​ @msmarvelouswinchester​​ @downanddirtydean​​ @janicho88​​ @lacednleathered​​

[writingtoforgetreality]

“Who is she?” (Alexander Calvert x Reader)

Request: I would like to ask for something where Alex and the reader are dating and the two are part of the Supernatural cast, and they fake a fight in front of Jensen, Jared and Misha, but it ends in a cute moment. That's it lol. (by anonymous), [Actors-Masterlist]

Summary: You could not find the script you needed for an important upcoming audition. Still, you had to start practicing or you would not perform well. Luckily, Alex was always there to help you with your lines. But what would happen if things got out of hand?

Words: 1,937

Warnings: language, mentions of cheating, argument, protective!Jensen, fluff, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

“Alex?” you were currently in your shared apartment in Vancouver. Searching for a very important script, you slowly started to go insane. You could have sworn you put it right on top of the coffee table. Why was it not there anymore? Maybe Alex had seen it.

“Yeah?” his scruffy voice made you look up. He came straight out of the shower, only a towel hanging low on his waist. On every other day, this sight would have been an invitation for you but you had to find this damn script.

“Have you seen my script? I put it right there.” you pointed to the place where you last saw it.

“Um, I don´t know...Are you sure you left it there?” Alex got closer to you and started helping you. First the living room, then the kitchen. Soon after, it felt like you searched through your entire apartment, without luck.

“(Y/N), it´s time to head out. We´ll be late.” he disappeared in the bedroom and came out seconds later in a black hoodie and gray sweatpants. Why bother wearing anything else when you had to change as soon as you were on set?

“Ugh, okay. I´m coming.” it did not make sense to you. You needed that script. There was a very important audition coming up. A big movie with TOM CRUISE. Yes, you heard that right. An action film where you would portray his love interest. This would be your chance to really start at Hollywood. Your role in Supernatural was the first start and the fans loved you a lot. Just like Alex, you came around for the 13th season. At first, you were only meant to stick around for a few episodes. Just some girl who was saved by Jack and brought back to the bunker. The fans seemed to like you and they almost immediately caught up on the chemistry Alex and you shared. When you started dating, the writers decided to make your character Jack´s love interest. Now, the last few episodes were about to air and you still had not found your next job.

Of course you worked on it to change that. Supernatural was your first acting job, you were not the most famous in this industry. Jared had already found his next role: Texas Ranger. Jensen will be a part of the third season of The Boys. You were incredibly happy for them but it also scared the shit out of you. If it took them this long to be cast in another project, how long would it take you? That was something you should not be thinking about during your ride to the set of Supernatural. You should start preparing for the upcoming scenes.

The first half of the day was very productive. Ever since the thought of shooting the LAST episodes has sunken in, the crew really wanted to bring the best out of every scene. Still, Jensen, Jared and Misha loved to mess with Alex and you. There had to be enough scenes for the gag reel, right?

As the director called for lunch break, all of you made your way over to the catering area. You were not hungry, thoughts still with your lost script. Maybe you should just give them a call to let them know that you needed another script. No, that would not leave a good impression.

“When do we continue filming today?” Jensen asked.

“Uhhh, around 3 pm, I think?” Jared´s answer was not really helpful. Most days he had no idea about your schedule. One of the reasons that made you love him even more.

“For once you´re right.” Misha threw in.

Everyone headed back to their trailers, wanting to prepare for the next few scenes and relax a bit.

“Can you practice with me?” you asked Alex as you were walking towards your trailers. You did not share those because they were very small to begin with.

“Practice what? We rehearsed our shared scenes, like, a hundred times last night.” he chuckled, amused by your uncertainty. He knew how you barely ever forgot your lines or broke character yet you still wanted to keep on running through your lines.

“Nooo, I mean for the audition. It´s next week and if I don´t start going through it now I´ll be even more nervous.” you came to a halt, waiting for his reaction.

“I thought you lost the script?” Alex turned around to look at you.

“Misplaced. Anyway, I know the story more or less. We could just improvise. Please?” your big (Y/E/C) looked at him in a way you knew he could never resist.

“In my trailer or-”

“Actually, I think right here, outside, would be perfectly fine.” your smile grew. You loved acting alongside Alex. This role was not meant to be his but he was always happy to help you with auditions. You did the same for him. Recalling what was written on the script, you tried your best to explain the story to him. It was easy, really, your character found emails from another woman, arranging meetings that go way back, like seven months. The scene you had to prepare for the audition was you confronting “Tom Cruise” which ended in a big fight.

“Got it?” you watched Alex´ face closely, looking for any misunderstandings. A nod from his head made you get into character.

“Hey, honey, I´m home.” your back faced Alex, your body language seemingly tense. He moved closer to you as you did not answer him. A hand was held out to touch your shoulder but as soon as it came in contact with you, you brushed it off angrily. Turning around with tears in your eyes, Alex was impressed by how fast you could make this role alive, without even saying a word. You truly were magnificent.

“DO NOT call me honey!” you managed to keep the tears at bay, thinking it would be better to let them spill a bit later.

“What´s wrong?” Alex gave you space, getting the sign of you not wanting to be touched by him.

“Oh, so you don´t have anything to tell me?” your arms crossed in front of your chest, your eyebrows raising, waiting for him to answer you.

“Um, I´m not su-”

“BULLSHIT! Bullshit.” the second part was barely above a whisper, showing that, despite everything you saw, you still cared for him. Loved him, even. Alex just stood there, knowing what your next words would be like.

“How long has this been going on?” your gaze was focused on the floor, not wanting him to see your tears that now started spilling.

“She doesn´t mean anything to me. You are the on-” but once again, Alex was cut off by your screaming.

“Did you fuck her?” your voice was small, not wanting to ask this question but desperate for the answer.

“Sweetheart, I-”

“DID YOU FUCK HER?” this time you screamed at his face. Your emotions were all over the place.

What neither Alex nor you noticed was Jensen, Jared and Misha storming out of their trailers due to hearing screams. When they saw the scene in front of them, they came to a fast stop. Did they just hear that Alex had cheated on their (Y/N)? Someone who was like a little sister to them? Jensen made himself ready to storm to you, wanting nothing more than to punch Alex. Jared and Misha, though, held him back.

“Yes.” Alex sighed. “But it´s not like she means anything to me.” he once again came closer to you. This time you did not protest. You were too exhausted to react to it.

“Who is she?” scared of what the answer would be, you took a step back but looked straight into his eyes.

“Cassie.” you read Alex´ face as regret but as soon as you heard him say the name you could have thrown up.

“CASSIE?! MY BEST FRIEND CASSIE?!” you lunged towards him and started punching his chest, too weak to do any damage, but you were angry and did not know what else to do.

That was too much for Jensen. He ripped himself free and ran towards you, Jared and Misha following close behind. A shove from the side made Alex and you separate. Suddenly you were pulled back by two strong arms. As you looked behind, you saw Jared holding you close to him. As you focused your gaze back to Alex, you were shocked to see him in Jensen´s grasp. You did not quite understand what Jensen was saying but it did not sound good at all.

“Jensen, stop!” you wiggled yourself out of Jared´s arms and ran to save Alex. You tried pulling Jensen away but he was too strong. Even Alex could not free himself.

“IT WAS JUST ACTING!” your scream erupted which made Jensen stop in his tracks. Slowly, he let go of Alex who coughed a few times.

“What?!” the confusion was written all over Jensen´s face.

“Alex and I were just practicing for my audition next week. You know, the one with Tom Cruise? I told you about that.” your heart was racing, your breathing too fast. Jared and Misha were already at Alex´ side, making sure he was not hurt.

“Shit, I´m sorry. Alex, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, all good.” he waved it off as if it was nothing. Typical Alex, you thought.

Suddenly you started laughing, replaying the scene in your head. Everyone looked at you weirdly but copied your actions soon after.

“Alex, he almost killed you.” by now tears were streaming down your face because you were laughing so hard.

“Hey, I didn´t even touch him.” Jensen complained.

“Oh yeah? Tell that my throat.” Alex stated sarcastically.

“That was acting?” Jared asked to which Alex and you only nodded.

“If you don´t get the job I´ll make sure to sue them, just so you know.” this time it was Misha who spoke up. This only made all of you laugh even more.

“Everyone back on set, please!” you could hear the director yell. Jared, Misha and you walked over, chatting and laughing about everything that just happened. Alex and Jensen, though, were a bit behind.

“Sorry again, kid. I really thought y´all were fighting. It sounded so real. You sure you´re okay?” he finished his sentence with a light chuckle, still somewhat ashamed of throwing himself at Alex like that.

“I´m fine, Jensen, really.” Alex laughed lightly. “Besides, now I know what happens if I ever hurt (Y/N) in any way.”

“You better take care of her and treat her like a princess. I´m serious.” Jensen had a stern look on his face but smiled anyway. You meant a lot to him and he could not bare the thought of anyone hurting you.

“I will. I promise.”

“Y´all coming or what?” you screamed at them from the other end of the set, waiting for the two of them so you could finally continue filming.

“On our way.” Alex said back, beginning to walk towards where you were standing. As he kept walking he thought about you again. How it was so easy for you to act out such a hard scene. Your talent amazed him. He really hoped you would land that role. From what he had seen so far, you were perfect for it. God, he loved you. It still had not sunken in that you were his. What did he ever do to deserve you? He knew he could not live without you and he would keep on reminding you of his love for you every single day.

Published (09/10/2020) by Cathy

Tags: @kalasyrtiaan, @blairrrose (thanks for your support <3)

[chaosintheavenue]

Fallout OC Survey Results!

333 responses later, the results are in!

For the most part, I'm just going to present the data without giving much commentary for now. The way Google Forms decided to display the response data worked well for some questions, and not so much for others, and a lot of the time there was just too much data to make a coherent graph or chart, so this post will be a bit all over the place in terms of format. It's also going to be long, so I'll continue under a cut.

(It looks like the cut isn’t working, sorry guys -_-)

Name

I didn't recognise most of the names I saw here, which means I have plenty of OCs to discover!

The most common names were Nova, Thomas, Six, Max and Charlie, with three entries each. Other names that appeared twice were Nathan, Poppy, Anthony, Judith, Chase, Ashley, Joshua, Jesse, Anna, Eleanor and Daisy. There were also a few very specific duplicates that I suspect were the same OCs being filled in separately for different games (which is fine!).

Game

Are they the in-game player character?

Faction

We had a lot of factions represented!

Railroad: 61 Minutemen: 60 Brotherhood of Steel: 48 Independent Vegas or Yes Man: 34 Caesar's Legion: 28 NCR: 28 Followers of the Apocalypse: 24 The Institute: 17 Mr House: 12 Raiders (Nuka World or in general): 12 Non-canon factions: 8 Reilly's Rangers: 7 Enclave: 6 Vault 13: 4 Responders: 4 Great Khans: 4 Tunnel Snakes: 4 Arroyo: 3 Powder Gangers: 3 The Kings: 3 Goodneighbor: 2 Slavers or Paradise Falls: 2 Cassidy Caravans: 1 Acadia: 1 The Pitt: 1 Boomers: 1 Vault 76: 1 Talon Company: 1 Crimson Caravan: 1 White Glove Society: 1 Brotherhood Outcasts: 1 Sorrows: 1 Unspecified tribe: 1 Mojave Express: 1 Regulators: 1 Omertas: 1

Age

Ages ranged from 6 to 252, with the majority being close to or in their twenties (excluding the time that Sole Survivors spent on ice). I decided to leave out the decade question, since it seems to have confused a lot of people and didn't add much considering there was already an age question.

Gender

Cis female: 166 Cis male: 101 Nonbinary: 26 Trans male: 15 Trans female: 9 Agender: 8 Male, unknown if cis or trans: 2 Genderfluid: 2 Intersex: 1 Genderqueer: 1

Sexuality

Yes, I absolutely did make this chart from scratch just to include the flags lol. Green is straight and orange is 'other', by the way. The most common responses in the 'other' category were demi and questioning, with five each.

Species

Race or ethnicity

White: 158 Mixed: 51 Hispanic/Latine: 36 Asian: 31 Black: 15 Other: 8 Native American: 7

Place of birth

US states

I wasn't sure if the map was very clear, so I'll include a list anyway.

California: 53 Massachusetts: 45 Washington DC: 44 Nevada: 36 Arizona: 21 Utah: 11 West Virginia: 8 New York: 7 Oregon: 5 Virginia: 5 Washington: 4 Florida: 4 Colorado: 4 Maryland: 3 New Mexico: 3 Oklahoma: 3 Texas: 3 Montana: 3 Pennsylvania: 2 Maine: 2 Kentucky: 2 Wisconsin: 2 Michigan: 2 Georgia: 2 Illinois: 2 New Jersey: 1 South Carolina: 1 Tennessee: 1 Wyoming: 1 Missouri: 1 Idaho: 1 Ohio: 1 Mississippi: 1 North Carolina: 1 Vermont: 1 Alabama: 1 Alaska: 1 Puerto Rico: 1

Other countries

Russia: 4 Mexico: 4 Ireland: 3 UK: 2 Japan: 2 Australia: 1 Sweden: 1 Norway: 1 Italy: 1 Canada: 1 Germany: 1 Maybe also one for Georgia- I couldn't tell if one person meant the state or country!

Languages spoken

English: 331 Spanish: 90 Latin: 59 A Fallout universe tribal language: 27 Mandarin: 15 French: 15 ASL: 10 Russian: 8 Japanese: 8 Irish Gaelic: 4 Italian: 3 Cantonese: 2 German: 2 For the sake of brevity (which is pretty futile at this point, but anyway), all of the following had one response: Hebrew, Norwegian, Arabic, Cherokee, Sanskrit, Punjabi, Hindi, Korean, Romanian, Shoshoni, Yiddish, Indonesian, Malay, Navajo, Swedish, Vietnamese, binary and sheet music

Medical conditions, disabilities, neurodivergence and the likes

PTSD: 52 Depression: 31 Vision problems, including missing an eye: 28 Anxiety: 27 ADHD: 21 Autism: 17 Memory problems: 16 Amputee: 13 Hearing problems: 9 Migraines or headaches: 7 Asthma: 6 Bipolar: 6 Traumatic brain injury: 6 (only counted when explicitly stated, implied for many more) Chronic pain: 5 Improperly healed injury: 5 Nonverbal, semiverbal, selective mutism, etc: 3 Borderline personality disorder: 3 Narcissistic personality disorder: 2 Seizures: 2 Psyker: 2 Nerve damage: 2 Radiation sickness: 2 Eczema: 2 OCD: 2 Dissociation: 2 Claustrophobia: 2 Eating disorder: 2 Spine problems: 2 Schizophrenia: 2 And again, a list of all with only one response: night terrors, kleptomania, dyslexia, needs a leg brace, rheumatoid arthritis, endometriosis, arachnodactyly, depersonalisation-derealisation disorder, psychosis, hallucinations, New Plague (complete aside: I would be extremely interested in hearing from the creator of this particular OC!), Broca's aphasia, schizoaffective disorder, inability to taste, dependent personality disorder, apraxia, autophobia, agoraphobia, Alzheimer's, albinism, insomnia, post-partum depression, synaesthesia, agraphia, photosensitivity, antisocial personality disorder

Addictions

Karma

Combat style

Aaand favourite cola flavour!

Cherry: 63 None: 62 Regular: 61 Quantum: 38 Dark: 34 Victory: 22 Quartz: 19 Orange: 16 Grape: 13 Other: 4

Once again, a big thank you to everyone who responded. There will be a second part to this featuring the canon character relationship questions, because I have a slightly more in-depth idea for analysing those, and this post is more than long enough already!

Let me know if anything seems off about this post, I put it together really quickly!

[canonicallysoulmates]

Walker 1.17

The last half of this ep was a lot.

I'm just gonna go ahead and assume y'all have already seen this epi so I'mma cut straight to the chase, there's more to Emily's murder than what Walker thought; turns out Stan, long time friend of the family, guy who is running for DA against Liam, was involved in Emily’s murder. And now Walker has him hostage. It's a whole thing.

Let's recap real quick what led to that point because really the purpose of this episode is to get to the reveal and set up something big and exciting for the finale.

Stan and Liam were set to do their last debate at the school but before they can do so someone calls in a bomb threat so the whole thing is cancelled. At the event there was a reporter who was a little too good at his job, he will come back to play later in this episode which is why I mention him.

Anyways, Walker and Micki do a walk through the school- not sure why because my understanding has always been that protocol is to always wait for the bomb squad but I guess Texas does things differently 🤷‍♀️ Whatever, neither they nor the bomb squad find anything, the whole thing was due to some random guy, who is mentally ill and he wanted someone to listen to what he had to say, it’s really not an important part of the episode it’s just sad and makes me think of how more money should be invested into mental health education programs.

Moving on, Walker and Geri do some text flirting. Ew. I reject it. No, thank you.

At a difference something I do love is how close Walker and Micki have become since episode 1, there’s a really nice moment in the epi where they’re talking about wether Micki thinks Walker should have gotten his badge back, and Micki just has so much belief in Walker’s ability to be a better person and Ranger and do better, and he promises he’ll do better and that he needs her help and she replies “I’m not going anywhere”, the whole thing is so sweet ❤

This whole episode has a lot of emphasis on whether or not Walker should have gotten his badge back which at first I didn’t understand but it’s because of his hearing which I had forgotten about because I thought we had moved past that storyline. Also the way this was written was very confusing because some characters speak about it as if it was due to the reckless actions Walker has taken in the past but the way other characters speak about it is as if it had to do with his mental state after the hostage situation with Clint.

Jumping ahead in the episode- some other things happen in the ep like Trey’s mom visits, and there's a thing between August and the girl he likes, but again the purpose of this episode is to set things up for the season finale so those are ultimately not important to the overall plot. The most important part of the episode are the things involving Stan; that reporter that I mentioned, he shows up the Walker ranch where Stan is and begins questioning him which leads to a whole fight and Stan in his anger pushes him to the ground and accidentally kills the reporter who slams his head on a rock. He goes back inside the house to wash his hands of the blood and act as if he’s leaving, and somehow nobody in the house notices how sweaty, jumpy, and nervous this guy is which I don’t know how that’s possible this man went from cool, calm and collected to sweating buckets and looking guilty af yet nobody blinks an eye.

While Stan is committing his 1,000th crime, Walker goes to the hospital to talk to and apologize to Mendoza for all the years in prison he spent for a crime he did not commit, and that’s when Mendoza tells him that Stan was involved in everything. So, of course Walker rushes back home but his car gets intercepted and pushed off the road, and he gets taken hostage but Stan and his henchmen start to fight so Walker uses the distraction to kill the henchmen and then he takes Stan hostage. And that’s how the episode ends.

The first half was so-so but the second half makes me excited for the season finale and gives me expectations of a tense, action packed hour.

[wildwesternwoman]

My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys (Modern!Arthur Morgan x Reader) Part One

Author’s Note: This was originally just supposed to be a one shot imagine, but I think I’m going to end up doing three, if you guys are into it. Feedback is always appreciated. 

           You grew up fascinated with cowboys. John Wayne, Matt Dillon, Willie Nelson. No one in your family really knew what kickstarted that, it had been natural, like you were born with this infatuation. As a child, it was rather sweet. You’d watch old westerns with your grandparents and sit wide eyed as your great uncle told you about the cowboy stories he used to hear on the radio when he was your age. As a teenager, you devoured every Western book you could get your hands on. Louis L’Amour, Lucia St. Clare Robson, Elmer Kelton. You would’ve given your heart to any of those Texas Rangers he wrote about. And, God, did you adore a young Clint Eastwood. You were a polite, educated young lady, but you longed for the day your cowboy would arrive and you’d be highwaymen together.

But it wasn’t the old west anymore. This was the 21st Century and you were quite certain there weren’t any cowboys anymore. Not real cowboys. Sure, there were actors who played them in TV shows and movies and singers who really, truly, thought that wearing a cowboy hat and singing about a horse made him a cowboy. But what had happened to the Andy Pickards? The Doc Hollidays? Hell, even the Marlboro Man was more cowboy than modern day cowboys.

That’s what you truly believed.

Until you started college. You’d applied for every university within a reasonable tuition range in the West. Texas, Oklahoma, Wyoming, even California. Somewhere where you might find a kindred spirit. Someone with a cowboy soul, just like you. Even if there weren’t any real cowboys left in this world.

And that, that is where you met Arthur Morgan.

Arthur was a “non-traditional” student. He was a little bit older, but still incredibly handsome. He worked at the school’s ag farm, helping to tend to the animals. But you met him in an English class your sophomore year. He was generally quiet and kept to himself, but he had this unmistakable laugh. The first time you heard it, you were certain it was angels singing.

You had never whipped your head around so quick. You were just in time to see the way his eyes crinkle as he laughs. A smile spread across your face. God, what a beautiful man. He caught your stare and you thought your heart would thump out of your chest. He gave you a polite head nod and you had to consciously look away before he thought you were a weirdo. You could just picture him going home with you at Thanksgiving. Meeting your family, seeing your hometown, sweetly poking fun of your childhood bedroom. Your grandmother would just love him. Your mother would love him. Hell, your dog would love him. You could see yourself loving him. You knew that was a lot to gleam from just a laugh, but damn, what a laugh.

           You really did not mean to bump into him as your tried to exit the class a few moments later, honest you didn’t. You were just that distracted by your fantasy life with him. By the time your shoulder bumped his hands, you guys had already grown old together in your mind.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” You said as he let out a soft oof.

“Nah, don’t you worry. I wasn’t paying much attention either.” He said as he stooped to pick up his books. He cast you a gorgeous smile as you stood there, somewhat awkwardly.

“Um, I’m Y/N.” You introduced yourself, holding your hand out.

“Arthur Morgan,” he shook your hand. His hands were big. Big and rough. Calloused, like a cowboy’s. You wondered what all he could do with those hands. The pleasure he could bring you, but not just sexually, from holding your smaller, softer hand in his, from bringing you coffee in the mornings, from picking you wildflowers. God, those hands.

“It’s nice to meet you, Arthur.”

“You too, Miss Y/N.”

           After that chance encounter, Arthur often waved at your when he saw you on campus or said hello or goodbye in English class. You didn’t have any real substantial conversations, other than to maybe ask how one of you thought you did on the last test. But then, your science class took a field trip to the ag farm to learn about the science that goes into running a farm. A necessary topic since many of your classmates were ag majors themselves that would eventually return to running their family farms and ranches.

           You really shouldn’t have wondered off, but the sound a familiar voice called to you and you couldn’t ignore it. Besides, the professor would never notice. She was so scattered; she’d hardly miss a student or two. Many were starting to poke around on their own, anyway. And you had to find the source of the voice you could just barely place.

“Yer alright,” It spoke softly. “That’s a good girl.”

           You found Arthur in a pen with a large black horse trying his damnedest to calm it down. You seated yourself on the gate and watched as he approached the animal and it reared up over him. He only laughed and mumbled something about the horse being feisty and needing to calm down. It took him only three tries under your gaze to approach the horse and get his hands on her.

“That’s it, girl. You’re ok,” He spoke gently, then added, without missing a beat. “You just gonna sit there and grin or you gonna come over here and see her up close?”

You faltered. Was he talking to you? But there was no one else around, so he must’ve been talking to you. “Can I?”

“Sure. She won’t bite. Probably.” He laughed and you could’ve died and went to heaven with all those angels.

           You climbed over the gate and into the pen, incredibly grateful that you’d opted for your trusty cowboy boots today. You walked over to the horse, staying as close to Arthur as possible. He just smiled at your timidness.

“You ever been face to face with a horse before?” He asked.

“Yes,” You shot back defensively. As if you’d never touched a horse before. You had. But maybe not as often as you’d like.

“Alright then, cowgirl, saddle ‘er up and take her for a spin.”

“Oh, hell no!” He laughed. Again. You wanted to make him laugh forever. He took your hand and placed it gently against the horse’s neck.

And he looked at you with that sweet smile you’d been daydreaming about and those little lines around his beautiful blue eyes and you realized that, for the first time in your life you were face to face with a cowboy. Just like you’d always wanted. A real cowboy. The last of your heroes. And you don’t know what he felt, but you were certain you were in love.

[justapoet]

there ain't no way to burn when the fire's out

It was heated, grey, and painful.

And Carlos didn't know how long it took for the ring in his ears to deafen until the point he could hear the dispatcher he had on the line, but he was almost sure she had said something about help being outside the house already.

"I need you to stay awake," she said, and Carlos turned his head to the side just to see the flames closer than it should be, the vivid orange being reflected by the dark walls and mixing with the red and blue lights coming somewhere from the outside. "Sir, are you listening?"

Or,

TK and Carlos have a fight over Owen and his stupid actions, and Carlos is alone when the fire starts ― and even more when, for him, it ends.

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"My father didn't interrupt an investigation, not even when I was the one being investigated, TK," Carlos said, then, his voice now filled with a weird mix of annoyance and bitterness. TK left out an impatient huff and put his hand over his hip.

"You won't even try?! Seriously?" he asked, sounding betrayed.

"What for? To break down the little balance on my relationship with my father by questioning his authority and power?!" The cop asked, now quite incredulous.

Before coming back to their house, Carlos and TK were having lunch to enjoy their morning before TK had a shift ― and everything was perfectly fine, the mood always soft and sweet when they both were together ― until the phone call came in.

TK had stopped in his tracks, and the smile fell from his face when whoever it was from the other side spoke the three first sentences, and the shade of white on his boyfriend's face made the smile Carlos had on his own lips fall down and disappear in a second. TK grumbled a few words in return, and Carlos couldn't quite understand what he was saying and then turned off the call.

Owen had been arrested.

Carlos wanted to believe it was a joke, at first but, TK was on the verge of tears while telling what the officer had told him ― his father had been arrested for being the main suspect to be a serial arsonist that had been causing chaos around the city.

Carlos froze in his tracks because something about the case was weirdly familiar.

It was another of his father's cases.

And probably it was his main mistake to say it out loud to TK, who started spiraling and asking Carlos to, please, talk to Gabriel about how all of that was a mistake and Owen was innocent.

Carlos refused, and they've gotten into a discussion over interests and who was being the selfish one in that situation. Now, they were back home, and TK couldn't help but elevate his tone with all he was feeling ― confused, mostly ― and Carlos couldn't stop saying he wouldn't do that because he just couldn't.

They knew they would both regret all of that later.

"Is that what this is about?!" TK raised his voice a little more, gesturing around for he couldn't stay still for a second. "About your relationship with your father out of work?! Well, my father is in jail, Carlos, accused of being a fucking sociopath!" he said. "And he just went through a cancer surgery!"

"Yeah, well, it didn't stop him from sneaking into a police investigation, did it?" Carlos said, then, and TK squirmed his face, pressing his lips together. The weight of all their words settled in the room as a thin layer of tension real enough for it to almost be touchable.

TK opened his mouth to say something but shut it close again, and so did Carlos. There were tears in both their eyes, for the situation seemed to have no way out, and they hated to fight with each other.

Mainly when they had shifts right after.

"I'm going to work," TK said, his voice thick with tears. Carlos bit his tongue to beg him not to leave, but before he could think about anything else, TK was already out the door, slamming it shut.

Carlos groaned, closing his eyes and letting one tear fall silently down his cheek. He brought his hands to his face, covering his eyes and breathing deep before stepping farther from the door and making his way up the stairs, throwing himself to the bed as soon as it was in of reach.

Carlos let the thoughts wave around his head for a while, probably longer than he should have or meant to. His phone in his hands was turned on and off as he debated whether to send a message to TK, apologizing, or to his father, asking him about everything that was going on ― and he figured the first one should probably be a consequence of the second, but it all seemed like a mess.

He wanted to help TK ― for God's sake, that's all he ever wanted to do ― but it would imply way more than his wishes and the undeniable love he felt for the new yorker. It would put even more friction in the delicate peace established in the relationship he had with Gabriel, and Carlos didn't know if he could take the bang again.

Sure, he would do it without even thinking if he knew it would lead somewhere beneficial and better, but the point of all his hesitance and denial was precisely this one ― he knew it was pointless to start this fight. Owen messed up badly by trying to be the amateur detective and letting traces of his presence behind, and that was what put him in the cell he was into. And if the Texas Rangers thought he had something to explain, then he probably did.

But he knew that wasn't how TK saw things. Of course, he fully believed Owen was innocent; nothing against it ever crossed his mind. But TK didn't seem to be worried only about Owen's innocence in the case ― he was worried about his freedom and how much more his father could take after so much. TK was pissed with the possibility of losing his father again, and not necessarily with why he might lose him for.

And, God ― if he could, he would've already freed Owen himself and locked him in his house so he wouldn't do those stupid things anymore, and TK wouldn't have that empty, scared looked on his face ever again. But it was out of his hands, and he only wished he could make his boyfriend understand that part.

And he also wished he could apologize, but TK might be out on a call or ignore his phone calls, anyway.

So, after wandering through the same two chats more times than he can count, Carlos sent a quick message to his father and hopped out of bed, taking his faded old shirt off and heading to the closet.

It was when the smell hit his nose.

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