prof-ottress

[prof-ottress]

ILVERMORNY HEADCANON [When Their Food Is Stolen]

Horned Serpent 

*Has the stolen food in their hands, ready to be eaten*

*Horned Serpent and friend sees from the corner of their eye.  Not even looking at them. They say* “Wow, I guess the kitchen heard our complaint about the chicken. That was really fast.”

*Thief hears and pauses their their chewing*

*Other Horned Serpent nods their head* “And a good thing too.  Last time this happened, a girl from Wampus was rushed to the infirmary.  Wouldn’t want a replay of that, now would we?”

*Thief instantly spits out the half consumed chicken leg and runs out of the dining hall to the bathroom.*

*Both Horned Serpents share a sly/victorious high five and resume their meal*

Pukwudgie

*Non-Pukwudgie thinks the coast is clear and goes to grab a piece of food*

“Oh, honey, don’t be shy! There’s plenty for everyone!” *said a Pukwudgiewhile giving a smile almost as warm as the cookies*

*Culprit stares dumbfounded as a fellow housemate comes up and pats them on the back*

“Dude, Pukwudgies are always making new recipes.  You never need to ask to take some, they love the feedback.” *then grabs a piece for themselves*

*Pukwudgie speaks again before walking away* “He’s right you know! All we ask is that you fill out a comment card before you go.”

Thunderbird

*Comes up behind them and steals a piece of food*

*Thunderbird stares at the person annoyed while grabbing more of what was taken* “Really? Are you kidding me? Again?”

*Goes to steal more*

*Thunderbird moves plate away and is deadpanned* ”Touch anything on the plate and I will never gift you with my brilliant talent of taking amazing aesthetic photos of you again.”

*Walks away defeated and timid*

Wampus

*Walks up to the table trying to act calm because everyone knows that a Wapmus can smell fear*

*Wampus whips out a sharp knife and stabs it into the wooden dining table* “Walk away if you want to keep all your digits.”

*Let’s just say, not many people have gone through with trying to steal food from the house of warriors*

[prof-ottress]

[prof-ottress]

Do any of my followers live in Seattle?

I might need some starter friends when I get there.

[prof-ottress]

Good evening Professor Ottress, could you maybe explain to me what the assignment is about? Do we have to do our own research on the subject? Thank you.

So, I just want to see your creative juices flowing. I’ve provided some subjects material, and I just want to see what you think those characters would look like visually, or create another mini story in which a character would have helped create a holiday tradition (i.e. tinsel, ornaments, trees, etc.). You can do either one, I just want to see what my students are capable of!

[prof-ottress]

Holiday Aesthetics: Pukwidgue

Homemade decorations & warm hearths

[prof-ottress]

Magical History Lecture: Christmas Edition

It’s officially Christmas season, and I want to talk to you about some of our more prominent Christmas characters. All of this is extremely well *researched* and completely *factual*.

First, we have Grimmauld the Third. You may have heard of this name when you learned about the Order of the Pheonix in the UK, during that whole Harry Potter fiasco. That street was named after this guy’s great-grandfather. Totally different story, mind you, but it helps to make connections:

When Grimmauld the Third was a boy, he went along with his family on vacation in ancient Rome. They saw that during the shortest days and weeks of the year, they would bring pines inside to symbolize the eternity of life even through the cold months. Little Grimmy was so enchanted with the idea that when they came home, it became a tradition in their family, and quickly spread throughout what is now the Netherlands. 

Somehow, for the next four hundred years, the tradition of the tree started to include candles atop the frail branches. That was leading to an alarming uptick in house fires among muggle houses, because it never occurred to them that the trees were made of wood and very dry. 

Next, Pippin the Fretful: 

Pippin was a muggleborn wizard who, in his youth, had suffered through one such house fire. His father went crazy and insisted they live in caves for the rest of his life. His mother was badly burned and spent most of her life hiding from the outside world. As such, it fell to Pippin to take care of his family and parents. He was a worrysome soul, and when he learned of his power, he immediately sought out someone to teach him to use it to help his family.

In his later years, he discovered a way to produce the same light as a candle without any flame. He called it one of his baubles, but it is better known today as an ornament.

Blonkus the Niffler Nabber:

The year was 1687, which, as many of you history buffs will remember is the year that the Nifflers took over Gringotts. Blonkus was a goblin apprentice to the Keyholder at the bank. He wasn’t great with handling money, as were all of his cohorts, but he was very good at catching thieves. He had a talent that was legend. 

To understand the origins of this situation, you should know that in that year, Hogwarts had just gotten its most notoriously mad Headmaster Edmond Flonk. He wanted to make Hogwarts a “blastedly fun place to, you know, do the learning” and so he introduced an adorable little platypus looking thing, and he matter of factly announced that it was called a Niffler. He had come back from a holiday abroad and found the buggers in his luggage. So, he kept a family of them, and eventually the family grew large enough that they escaped the chambers and found themselves in the luggage of students going home for the summer. All across the UK, families found their jewels and money and watches missing. Fearing thievery, they would head to Gringotts to take out more money. By November of 1687, Nifflers had set up a hive in Gringotts and the Goblins could do very little about it.

Enter Blonkus. 

He had been charged with removing all the shiny objects from around the bank, lest the Nifflers become stronger and rip them from the walls. To do this, he was given a tool called a Tinsler, that had long silver protruding slivers to get in and behind fixtures to undo them. Goblin fingers were much too fat for that kind of delicate work. Blonkus had quite a collection built up, when he found he was exhausted. He hid himself away in an alcove and tucked his trinkets under his coat, along with the Tinsler. He awoke to a poking on his chest a short time later, and opened his eyes to a Niffler rifling through his coat. He was trying to gain his bearings when he realized that the Niffler was caught on something. He moved his coat aside and realized that the Tinsler had wrapped around the hands and feet. In no time, the infestation was under control, belongings were returned to their owners, and tinsel is still hung on Christmas trees to this day to trap any rifling Nifflers looking to steal ornaments from the trees.

Your assignment is to do one of the following and send it back to me:

1. Tell a story about another Christmas tradition and the character who founded it,

2. Draw a character from one of these stories/make up a new story and draw the character, or 

3. Answer this question in 200 + words: who traditionalized Mistletoe and why is it popular in the Wizarding world?

[prof-ottress]

is this what the kids are listening to these days?

[prof-ottress]

So we’ve done a pretty good job so far of not being too in-your-face about our personal political opinions in this election because that’s not what this blog is about but the election is Tuesday and its outcome will affect every single one of you (even those of you who aren’t Americans) so fuck it 

I know most people, media outlets, corporations, etc., will say things like “we can’t tell you who to vote for” but we at Incorrect Harry Potter Quotes are not affiliated with any person or corporation that is legally obligated to remain publicly neutral so we can, legally and with a clear conscience, ask that you please vote for Hillary Clinton and the Democrats on Tuesday, November 8th

Voting third party is not a viable option Sorry to burst your bubble but my dog has as much of a chance of becoming President as Johnson and Stein We live with a binary political party system Our Presidents are elected via Electoral College which means you have to gain the popular vote state by state, not just the over all popular vote  As nice as it would be to have more than 2 options, this is not the election to make a protest vote against the system Peoples’ lives are at stake here and I would hope the lives of others would be more important to you than any disillusionment you have about the American Political System

I’m sure a lot of you are thinking “this is a Harry Potter blog why are they talking about politics” well we live in this country and we actually give a shit Not just about what our country is like today but what it will be like for posterity 

We have to decide what kind of country we want to live in One full of open hate and blatant discrimination and exclusion, or one that admits and learns from past mistakes while looking towards the future, knowing that we can each have a hand in making the world a better place 

Poll hours differ state to state so please check your state’s voting hours and please make sure you GO VOTE

[prof-ottress]

It’s November 8 2016. Election Day. And you didn’t vote. You knew that trump is evil “but Hillary is just as bad”, you said. You hate both of them, so you refused to vote. “Neither deserves to win”, you said and by the way, it’s rigged anyway, right? You refuse to play that game and you feel quite good about it. You’re a rebel. It’s your kind of protest against the corrupt system!  

You come home from work, with a smile on your face. It looks like your protest works: Some of your friends also didn’t vote or wrote in the name of a third candidate. You feel really good. Maybe you and your friends are enough to change the system! And if not, well, you’ve seen presidents change before and it never had too many consequences in your life. 

You sit down in front of your tv, reach for the remote and your phone buzzes. It’s a text from one of your friends, the weird one who begged you to vote for Hillary - and your smile falls off your face “It looks like Trump will probably win. I’m so scared. My sister is crying.” 

You suddenly remember that your friend’s sister is trans. 

You turn on the tv and you can’t believe your eyes. The third candidate one of your other friends voted for is at 4%! That’s great, isn’t it? But wait.. Hillary is currently behind Trump? By 6%? Oh. You didn’t expect that. 

 Another text. A co-worker. “Two people called in sick. I think it’s because they’re scared to go outside in case Trump wins..” 

One of your co-workers is black, one is Muslim. 

You stare at the tv and you can’t believe what you hear. “Trump won.” It was a head-at-head race and Hillary almost won - but only almost. You can’t believe it. None of your friends were going to vote for him! 

You want to go outside to think about something else - but you stop as you hear your neighbor crying on the phone. “I’m so scared i’ll lose the custody right when our marriage gets annulled”. 

You suddenly remember that your neighbors are a gay couple with a cute little daughter. 

But Hillary would’ve been just as bad, right? 

[prof-ottress]

Get out and vote tomorrow!

I know you all know my opinions on the matter. But the important thing, no matter who you vote for, is to get out and vote. Vote for local government. Vote to allow refrigerated beer in liquor stores. Vote to legalize marijuana and start breaking down the barriers between where we are in pot research vs. where we should be. Vote to end the death penalty. Vote for taxes to go to school systems so that our teachers can stop getting paid shit wages and start earning a living doing one of the most noble things in our nation.

Just vote.

[prof-ottress]

Question for my Students

I don't seem to be getting much traffic on the assignments I create, and while that makes me sad because I think it's awesome work, it doesn't answer the question of why. So I need your help: What kinds of assignments do you want to see on the topic of magical history and literature? Do you want lecture/assignment relationships? Do you want lectures to be disassociated with homework assignment? Would you rather submit artwork? I would love to know. Please reblog or inbox me with your suggestions. I want to make this blog the best.

[prof-ottress]

That is a fantastic way to be when you are drunk! To become a metaphorical giant hug, just phenomenal! I am highly impressed!

I’ve been sent to my bed because all I want to do is cuddle with my roommates.

[prof-ottress]

Where can I find resources for homework?

Resources for homework are very open ended. You can pull from Tumblr, Pottermore, general internet searches, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, your own brain. We want to see more than anything your own creativity shown here at Ilvermorny. Use a small idea and run with it, turn it into something beautiful and meaningful.

[prof-ottress]

Hilary: he said that they weren't attractive enough to be assaulted them

Trump: I did not say that

The moderator: yes you did

The audience: yes you did

Fact checkers: yes you did

America: yes you did

The world: yes you did

The universe: yes you did

Trump: she's so sleazy

[prof-ottress]

Guys my username is Leanne Circusfreak if you want to Skype 

Is anyone online? I’d love to hear from you all!

[prof-ottress]

Is anyone online? I’d love to hear from you all!

[prof-ottress]

Could you speak a little more to the personality traits of a pukwudgie, and what makes a pukwudgie?

The Pukwudgie seems to lean more in general toward the types of people that help others, act, think, and speak from the heart, and like to heal. I plan on coming out with a Pukwudgie list at some point in the future, but for right now, I would suggest exploring the world of Tumblr with the tagline #pukwudgie and see what pops up. There will be lots of pictures obviously, but there will also be quite a bit of good content about the type of person that a pukwudgie is.