#anyways im sleepy goodnight

[whisperingn1ghts]

Wip

[gavinom123]

casual wilardo doodles

[triona-tribblescore]

I cant stop thinking about them :'( 🩷🩷✨✨ drew my human designs for a wee change of pace uvu

[heartorbit]

bugs when you lift up a rock

[obsob]

the days are still dark but i have started to see wild flowers on my walks :)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

apocalypse doodlings aka We Couldve Had Grey Hair Erik And Charles Is There Too I Guess

[cut-aare]

[stopwatchclockwatch]

Haven't done kirbs-central art because my brain has been absolutely rotting on two fanchildren that me and a friend made, but atleast some metagala is salvageable

[bericas]

lil nas x (lost in the citadel) / boygenius (salt in the wound) / beach bunny (painkiller) / lucy dacus (strange torpedo) / beatrice eli (coward) / to kill a king (bloody shirt, bastille remix) / paramore (forgiveness) / taylor swift (untouchable) / mitski (i bet on losing dogs) / lucy dacus (body to flame) / florence + the machine (falling)

[casdeans-pie]

Dean, whispering to the Angel in bed beside him who literally cannot sleep: Cas. You awake?

[hacksawboy]

gay people when you put them on a game with customization (they will not stop drawing their characters)

the spy thing did actually happen to me earlier btw. i was so elated about the 2 kills i didnt care about being called a slur (dude was just toxic in general anyways)

anyways if u like shooting games with customization why havent you gotten pvz garden warfare yet best shooting game ever made sold 10 garden warillion copies (ive been obsessed with this game for 10 years and counting thats why i keep bringing it up)

[scionshtola]

it counts

[perilegs]

i do recognize corrin is his own character and i get annoyed at people who treat video game protagonists as stand-ins for the player in certain ways ("i wouldn't say that"), however. that is not stopping me from calling reina my wife and going "omg we're [as opposed to they're] so cute together" when she's sitting next to corrin

[razzafrazzle]

2 outta 4 of the main characters of. whatever this story i have in my brain is. weird gay cyborg cowboy and the clown baby she brings with her everywhere (said clown baby can also transform into a motorcycle but thats a secret)

[image description: a drawing of two original characters. the first is w, queer person who uses any pronouns, who is a tall, thin, and dark-skinned person with short dark purple hair. his face is mostly covered by shadow or the pink bandana wrapped around the lower half of his face, with the only feature visible being his eye, which is pink with yellow sclera. her right arm and leg have been replaced with light blue cybernetics. they are wearing a white bodysuit which is unzipped at the chest and with gold fringes on the sleeves, a matching cowboy hat with a crown-shaped gold plate on its front, matching thigh-high boots with pink hearts on the knees, pink heels, and a gold angel wing-shaped accent on the sides, and a bright blue harness around their torso with a pink heart the waist. the second is lil plum, who uses they/them pronouns and is a small, purple, cow-esque robot. they have horns, blue and yellow eyes, and a clown nose. they have small angel wings where their arms should be, and they are painted to look like they are wearing a white, pink, yellow, and blue clown outfit. they are also wearing a white frilly neckpiece and a small gold crown. both characters are surrounded by doodles of sparkles. end id]

[suusoh]

quick check in for our dear author susu!😁 you may or may not answer this ask, im just curious ab sth after i saw your vents. i hope reflecting on these questions can make you feel better though!😃

are you, by any chance, pressured by the attention your works are having? did you not expect that a lot of people will like your craft? do you actually prefer having fewer audiences? i feel quite sad that this toxic world of internet where audiences just look at creators as machines to produce and produce has seemingly taking a toll at you and i sincerely hope you feel better ab it soon and eventually rekindle your love for writing.

love,

your reader

you're very kind anon :-)) thank you for sending me an ask. I hope you're doing good as well?

I've think I've explained things better on my other blog but I'll try my best to answer your questions here as well <3.

(any bitterness or snippiness picked up in this answer is not aimed at you anon!!! you are very very precious and kind. susu is just talking out of frustration.)

Not pressured, maybe overwhelmed and shy at times, but not pressured, no. If i don't like a request I literally don't entertain it at all and will just answer it shortly. If i don't feel it then i just don't.

to be fair I didn't even expect an audience in the first place. I was literally jsut writing because I felt like i was going to explode (or implode?) if i don't get my ideas outside of me. It felt like i ended up just talking to myself with fic dialogue, or staring mindlessly in my room while i just watch scenarios in my head. So i thought, heh, why not make it into a fic. no harm done.

If anything anon, I was quite expecting for myself to be.. uh... niche? I guess my expectations started out wonky because prior to monster, I came from very large fandoms. So as an x reader, as a yandere x reader, and as a yandere x reader who warped johan into her own personal characterization with near zero-canon basis at all just to get her rocks off at that too, I figured I'd just be writing for only a certain amount of people who choose to seek me out.

not sure about the fewer audiences thing, I don't quite care for numbers. But i guess what I preferred isn't "less followers" per se, but I think i would've preferred the energy and the synergy of interactions back then when it was only quite a good number of people. felt intimate. Like can you believe I got more comments when there were less people on here, compared to with more people on here... people are more quiet now?

quiet- in the sense of showing appreciation and enjoyment of the writing of course. the amount of people in the ask box..... is another different thing. my ask box is definitely not quiet.

to be fair anon, I don't think they're doing it intentionally. I guess with how niche monster is and how there were only so few of us here writing johan x reader content, people of course asked for more.

but now i guess i do feel a bit... tired and listless now. Because it felt like i've already achieved my goal of seeing what I want to read. If anything, i think i've written so much content of what i want to see that I've even made myself sick lol.

so now it feels like im at the point where i don't have the same drive as I used to before. there's no personal goal keeping me going, and the people who inspire me to keep on writing are very few and far between (aside from friends of course), compared to those who just wish i'd keep writing so they'd get their daily dose of johan copping a feel up or something. idk.

truth be told. what makes me feel tired is that not only did i grow to loathe my old johan writing and concepts, but it's exactly those concepts that people are drawn to, and keep asking for everyday. which makes me somehow loathe what i've written even more.

And honestly, look i can't blame them. When I wrote those, i was vibrating and i wrote it with so much love and energy at the time, and i'm sure the vibes they still translate into those posts.

but it just feels so so so confusing and honestly... emptying to me that that's all people who come here care about, that's all they ever ask for, and in some weird ironic laughable twist, they don't even show any appreciation for it.

and like shit, im not even sure if appreciation is the right word to use. I'm not asking for praise or anything. but literally just... talk? talk to me? talk about your thoughts on it?

and NO. talking about your thoughts on it is different from downright just sending in something with no explaination. just some blank prompt that you think I'll pick up, go insane over, gush over, and spit out 4 paragraphs worth of whatever you sent in.

and again yes, the glaring answer is "just ignore those asks then lol. pay attention to nice asks instead.

but then again, it's just tiring that the only story comments i ever seem to get nowadays are just those asks. i'm talking about the majority.

and before anyone says i'm too negative or too sensitive for focusing on the bad instead of the good: I do pay attention to nice comments, i hold them close and dear to my heart. made a whole freaking tag and folder just for it.

but it's just that they're so rare and few and far between compared to how much people have the time to type in another request, but can't seem to type in at least one... thank you. or... say that that what i did was... really nice.

and it i feel so confused again because people assure me over and over again that they like my writing, that lots of people like my johan writing.

but with the way i'm treated and interacted with here.... i'm starting to think that sure, maybe people do like my writing: but it only because it gives them their fill.

so whenever i go on a break or when i go post something to express my worries with my blog and i get asks or comments. i just... I have to laugh a bit at just how much of those asks feel like they're saying the same thing:

It's less of "oh no! susu is going away and needs a break." and more like "oh no! now we won't get any more johan."

[guinevereslancelot]

job interview tomorrow 🙏