#anyways im really excited for the drinks
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MY TREATS CAME IN
#🚬.dei.txt#puppy got his treats :3c#now i just have to wait for my other package#mom kinda forced me to get the pizza chips bc i showed her what i was getting#and she was like you need for salty snacks on there#like girl. i just wanted six thiinngggsss i might not even like the pizza chips#last time i had pizza flavored chips i almost threw up LOL#anyways im really excited for the drinks#the sailor jupiter one is cucumber flavored
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after seeing romulus in theaters twice by myself I am 1000% hooked on going to watch films alone in a theater
#last time i even got to drink a hard cider while i did it. incredible#anyway that tweet abt ''if you're going as an adult to watch the wild robot you're pathetic'' has bewitched me#and therefore i am going as an adult to watch the wild robot alone in a theater lol#it's a closed captions showing too which are my favorite#and ill get nice popcorn and a hard cider and be there disgustingly early#and im very excited lol#tbh the film itself sounds fine. i know the book was really popular and it sounds like itll be a good time#but im more in it for the experience of Going To A Theater#im also using this as an excuse to get out of family plans lol
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chapter 3, hajime makes murder investigation much more difficult by not trying to watch the video call to the end
#my point being if hed kept watching for 2 more seconds he would have been able to see#that the person on the stepladder was never going to hang themselves#did he really think he could run from one building to another quicker than a person on a stepladder could walk up two steps anyway#sdr2#super danganronpa 2#hajime hinata#hanging tw#my art#press night tonight!!! super excited#ive had my hair in rollers all night n most of the day and completely forgot that im supposed to have my hair in a tight bun#for the show itself#hopefully my hair will have retained at least a bit of bounce for after where were all glammed up and drinking bubbly and posing for cameras#wish me luck queens#hehehe
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so i went on a date today.
#it went really well#we met up at 4pm for like walk and coffee and then maybe pints after#tell me how its now 3am and i am just now getting into bed#fully yapping for hours w that guy#and we kissed and i was a bit like oh hes nice but idk if im like sexually attracted to him but after that smooch yeah okay#i can get down with this#but now im kinda spiraling bc i didnt bring up being aro and idk when you bring that up#and im like gaslighting myself again that maybe im not aro bc today was so fun but like#watch me date this guy for like three months then the aro signs will be strong w me#its just like hyperfixation excitement but idk#or is that the gaslighting and i acc do feel romantic towards him#god i wish my brain made sense to me sometimes#oh also this was my first first date since jan 2023 so like its been a minute for me#anyways maybe i should stop panicking and just like enjoy it as it goes#bc just bc first date went well doesnt mean its gonna become a thing thing for sure right? so no need to worry rn#i liked holding his hand tho and him kissing me on the cheek and usually i dont like that#but also i was three drinks in so maybe it was alcohol courage idk??? aaaaaaaaaaaaaa#being aro is so confusing#aromantic
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One thing I'm learning as I get older is a lot of people from high school who sucked only sucked because we were in high school and now that were adults and facing a new set of nightmares but with greater autonomy and life experience we no longer have crab bucket instincts towards each other and may even be capable of a beautiful friendship
#i stayed friends with a decent amount of people out of high school and through mutuals in law of theirs and just straight randomly running#into old high school peers ive been forcing myself to meet these people the way id want to be met (as in please respect the horrors of high#school and understand that im not that person anymore) and its been more than amicable its been awkward but also kind of exciting#were real people now and i think its cool to reconnect#dont get me wrong when i say these people suck i dont mean politically or bigotry wise in fact they never really sucked and thats the whole#point#but rather we crab bucketed each other and i was often on the bottom of the crab bucket so there was a lot of resentment and animosity#but also grudging respect for these specific people for Making It Out of the Bucket#anyways ive been dming a lot more with one of them and another one asked me if i wanted to grab a drink with him sometime :-)#i dont drink but im tempted to suggest we do something else#idk its nice to give people from your past grace and have it extended back to you#again obviously not for the fascists and the bullies like theyre also capable of change and growth which i recognize but i dont want to b#around them#anyways this is absurdly long winded#but its my diary entry of the week
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sometimes my bestfriend is like an angel in disguise istg
#i was justttttt thinking that aw it's so sad that navratri music is playling everywhere and i don't have friends to go with#like last year atleast i had tuition sorta friends but now ive isolated them too it sucks#but i was like well it's okay ill do it when i grow up celebrate every festival i didn't get to in my house because we just never do#and then she calls and she's like let's go this club jahan every year famous hota hai full celebration#and i was like ehh i don't want to i don't even know how to play and ill have to convince dad for raat can't we just#go to a cafe or something dopahar mein uske liye i don't even need permission#and she even agreed but she sounded sad and disappointed about it so i was like well fuck it you want to go club na#and she was like yeahhh so i was like aagh okay and i asked and we're going tomorrow!!!!!#and it's so ridiculous like i just say i don't want to go but it's actually so exciting to go someplace other than a cafe!!!!#and i was complaining to her ki okay ill go but i won't dress up and five mins later me and mumma are making full outfit with dupatta#style decided jewellery she has saved for years that are specifically navratri types and she's like we'll get my blouse altered it's fine#you know being sick has really given me perspective on my parents#im not going to hate my mom anymore i never used to growing up i always thought she was brave but helpless#but a stupid day in 12th i realised when we were talking that technically she COULF get divorced she just#doesn't want to because she'll be alone and she thinks we're growing up and leaving anyway so why should she let go of financial#stability for us. which is wild to me because girl you can't buy anything you want without his permission so i don't understand what's the#point if he's rich or poor but whatever whatever she's been raised this way etc etc#but anyway being sick really made me realise who the real monster is😭 all dad did was shout horribly at me all the time#and was like don't you dare take meds they're fake this is all just junk food stop eating it and you'll be fine. when i was literally#having 103 FEVER.#and mom was the one who was making me different drinks juices cutting up fruits staying with me as i get my blood drawn#checking my fever sote jaagte#like wow i literally wouldn't have gotten better if it wasn't for her and i couldn't believe how attentive and nice she was being#like yes i understand she just thinks this is her duty she's just playing her role a mother a housewife but still#idk i just realized that okay atleast she's good at being a mother dad isn't even that why am i feeling good about him when his love#not even love his politeness is so fucking conditional#and mom healed me even tho i told her about clubbing and drinking lots of alcohol she's kinda against it because she's seen#horrible things in life family yucky men but still she understands ans trusts my sister mostly and know we just do it for fun and she#wasn't even mad!!!!!!! like wow ooay#moms love is actually not conditional for the first time in my life i felt like if i fall maybe she could be there to catch me and dad wld
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Put the last mushies on the rack to fire (still waiting on a few more pieces), then spent the whole studio time getting what I do have bisqued cleaned up and waxed and ready to apply slip and glaze. I did (mostly) decide what to do so I just have to follow my notes.
#arting#pottery#still waiting on the paten plates the two brown cups and the two spoon rests too#and those two cups and the potential bird bath#though a lot of people said pie dish#so uh#that one might stay with me as a pie dish but we'll see#those plates are from the december kiln#they didnt fit#so i washed the glaze off and im hoping to just stack them#but if they dont get in again whatEVER#i mean i would really love for them to get fired but we'll see#i did request the day off when we start loading#so im hoping to actually help out a bit and get to see the process#since i didnt get to last time#like ive loaded a lot of bisque kilns and a few glaze kilns#but this will be different#ANYWAYS im excited and im hoping to get a chunk of this slipped and glazed this week#but i have plenty of time#also that naked drink is a protein thing and it was AWFUL negative two stars
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feeling so defeated when it comes to food right now which sucks bc like. i have had huge successes with food! ive been trying new foods that i really really thought were not possible for me to even try but i still feel so frustrated bc my daily foods still have not changed much and i still have so much anxiety and lack of knowledge and aaaa. i wanna be able to go to a restaurant and have a single meal that i dont have to change everything to make myself comfortable with i wanna be able to try the foods my friends make without having to anticipate if its a safe thing to try or not i wanna be able to talk about food and know what people are talking about and what certain food flavors mean and i am simply so tired.
#arfid sucks. arfid sucks so much i am soooooo so tired of it#like. ive had successes. i have a really really truly so good support system w my friends#i drink orange juice now which is exciting? considering fruits and veggies is an area i dont often get much of?#but still most of my meals are combinations of the same things and im so tired#AND I CANT AFFORD TO SEE MY DIETICIAN RN#bc shes out of network and even w the sliding scale i have a balance i cant pay rn and my brain feels bad about that#and it sucks. and i am so tired and food costs.#anyway im currently stuck rn bc i cant figure out what im gonna do for lunch#bc i forgot to buy mac n cheeese cups#so ive had cafeteria pizza instead#which may have made pizza. not a safe food anymore!!! bc the idea of eating it again is unbearable!!!#and. im just#feeling so very defeated
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not to sound like a petulant child but my entire fuckin week is ruined and i wanna kms
#basically#me and my college friends were gonna hang out together today#at this rlly nice place that i havent been to before that they were gonna show me right#we were gonna have a picnic and i bought fuckin drinks and cookies and plates n shit right#i was really excited about it bc 1. this semester legit made me wanna jump out a window so im glad its done#and 2. my friend is going back to his country next week so we were gonna have one last get together before he leaves yk#well anyway right before i was about to leave my mom's leg started hurting (though i think she did it on purpose now)#so i offered to do the wash before i left so that yk....she could rest and not fuck up her leg...common fuckin sense#anyway i started sorting the wash...tell me why she literally SPRINTS over (again...with a 'hurt' leg) and started screeching in my ear#she starts yelling 'get the fuck away from me!!!' and 'what are you doing'....WHIILE SHE WAS THE ONE UP IN MY FACE#keep in mind this is all 20 minutes before im meant to leave im literally dressed and ready to go out the door#anyway my brother broke us up and WHY WAS SHE THE ONE THAT BURST INTO TEARS???? WHEN SHE WAS THE ONE SCREECHING AND PUSHING ME#anyway i just did the wash and told my friends i couldnt make it#but i feel super shitty about it bc we were supposed to meet at 12 and i suddenly told them i couldnt make it at 11
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wish i could gain weight without eating 😭😭😭 like a sims slider i just wanna gain like 15 pounds in 15 seconds is that too much to ask of my body?!?! apparently
#put on shorts i wore when i was 12 and they are TOO BIG#i dont know how much i weigh because i dont have a scale but i was just underweight a few weeks ago#and i have gotten BETTER at forcing myself to eat but i basically only had bread fruit and a monster energy drink yesterday#and by basically i mean... i know thats all i ate#but i mean i ate a lot of bread... like a bagel#half a loaf of french bread and several slices of rosemary sourdough#my mom bought me groceries which i so appreciate but she did not really... buy me healthy foods#like... 3 different bread products... nothing to put on the bread?! when i am in food funks 80% of my nutrition comes from hummus and guac#oh she did buy me soups but my microwave is broken but i literally havent been getting enough calories to HEAT THINGS ON THE STOVE!!!!#they said i might gain weight on zoloft which i was excited before but instead i lost the same amount of weight i lost this summer in half#the time#bc at least this summer i WANTED to eat i just wasnt given long enough breaks at work to eat ENOUGH food#and i was super active. now i am an art hermit not exercisng & going days where 90% of my calories are energy drinks and the occasional carb#i think its a side effect of the meds and not#disordered eating#but im tagging it as that anyway
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Sometimes this -> :)))) is just not strong enough for what I mean
#what I really mean is my face hurts from smiling and i know im high but I am happy and it feels so so nice im gonna fall asleep happy#tonight#and I am excited I have plenty of time to sleep before work and I’m gonna work and make money and then have a day off and yesterday was slow#and today might be slow again and I can just hang out#doodle clean stretch stand draw doodle print something for someone check email check tumblr check cat app open computer check online orders#still none doodle again think about leaving drink water copy something for someone tell someone where to find white out or letter openers#etc etc#anyways. I am happy work is easy and boring but fun and I’m happy there#I think I’m still in the phase of isolation post Covid that this is me just exited to be outside again#like sure I’ve gone places but now it’s like I’m going places and working and standing and seeing all kinds of people and remembering they a#also have lives of their own#there are teachers and moms and business men and people getting divorced and people printing trump court documents and putting them in a#binder yes that really happened today idk why this old couple was doing this or why they thought I’d want to hear about it#anyways yeah. people are everywhere you can find community anywhere love is endless#📤
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wwwwwisdom teeth Hurt. help
#it was just Discomfort. it is starting to be Pain#i have an appt for fillings (HHWHDJIWIDI) in june and theyre gonna do a panoramic xray#and THEN make an appt w a dental surgeon#but i have my brothers wedding in july and i really. dont want to be suffering. not in texas#his name is austin and he's getting married in austin... Hehe. and such#im gonna get super drunk#open bar my beloved 🩷 also the place theyre getting married at has donkeys that bring you your drinks. im so excited.#anyway. my face hurts.#wytxt
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I ate a macaron for the first time today and I fucking Get It
#I've also been day drinking so im a little excitable#but anyways I thought macarons were like hardened merengue cookies and I really don't like merengue but they are so much better#I got a bunch of flavors and they're so yummy#aka I went to a really cool farmers market that had literally everything you could ever want and it was incredible#i bought beans! dried beans! and mushrooms!#i found a king trumpet mushroom like are you KIDDING#anyways. god i wish i had better grocery stores in my town lmao
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(Theyre also blushing but i cant figure out why). Both Kenzan and Johan are more focused on Judai tho, which could either be bc theyre both gay for him or cause this takes place post s4 (so theyre happy to see Jou enjoying life again after his depression). Then you have Fubuki and Asuka in the corner. Fubuki is doing his standout uncoordinated cloudcuckoolander bit by not wearing blue/black/white/yellow like everyone else (get with the program, man!) Instead he's going for that... christmas ensemble? With the rare red....tho now I see it, there's also judais pants and the coke bottles and the red cups and oh my god it was a red/blue/green/yellow colour scheme all along. ANYWAY, while Asuka is more serious with her modest clothing and walking boots, she has this small smile. Like, clearly she's not super duper ecstatic over his dumbass ukelele serenades, but she'll humour him today of all days, not just because it's a special day but because she looooves having her brother back.
Final verdict: this pic honestly just gets better the more you look at it. It makes me wish i had synesthesia just so I could taste the cozy hot chocolate vibes. Like its truly utterly immaculate. Kudos to you for all time!!!
#Incrredible absolutely incredible vibes here holy cow. Especially as an australian freezing in midwinter. Unmatched coziness#like it has that top tier cozy wood cottage setting (respect for graining the floor panels btw) so you can practically see the snow outside#I know they're drinking coke but in my heart that is hot chocolate ok it is beautiful hot chocolate and maybe there is pho somewhere#anyway I also really like how the orange/blue/green mesh together in this piece. It's not too uniform or restrained or blocky. Instead#the colours are diffused throughout the piece. This gives it a lot of balance while simultanously preserving the warmth and cohesion#like manjo asuka ryo and johan in their matching obelisk blues + the night sky outside + the blue books + the blue on Yugis poster tv etc#then ofc the green of the plants + yellow/green rug + Jims croco and fubus pants. The green works esp well to bridge the blue and orange#as opposed to a blade runner style scheme. Anyway I also love how you use blue/black shadows. Specifically how they go fuzzy at the ends#With a nice lil orange glow. I think the strongest example of this is Johan. his white shirt really shows off the blue/orange -> purple fuz#It makes the lighting feel really soft. Also mad respect for this whole setting concept like this room is impressively geometrical#and perfectly angled yet it has that lived in clutter vibe with the book under the tv + the abandoned singular sock + the unkempt comic#books + spread cards + etc. Theres also so much personality to it in the kitty rug smiling clock and posters all over.#Im gonna guess its judais place bc pharoah and the pic of Judai and Johan. Also its slightly irresponsible in a very Judai way.#this would NOT be jims place! he would NOT let his croco eat. uh. Movie film? its not croco food is all Im saying. Anyway. Adding into how#cozy and real this piece feels is the excellent lighting work. Not only is there multiple sources of light and shadow but they overlap#impeccably and have a subtle yet defined limit. I particularly love the two lamps by Asuka and Fubuki. The little shadow hatching on the#walls and window sills around them + the soft airbrush lighting makes this lovely subtle yet defined circle shape. Together with the#light coming thru the door its rly nice. Then theres the general shadow on Croco side of the piece with the deeper shadows from the house#ornaments and edo and such. Like its a small thing but it requires so much thought and dedication and fuckin math that I must salute#speaking of maths the most impressive part of this pic geometrically is the wall at edos side. The angle is sharp yet feels so natural.#yknow what I think that gets into the coziness too. The setting is so boxy and well defined that it almost seems to snug hug the characters#we get the sense of a limited space which is filled by the presence personality and warmth of this friend group. Nothing feels empty#this realisation makes me appreciate the cut off second floor that the stairs lead to cause it adds a roof which further boxes em in#the effect is like peeking into a moeblob yugioh diorama. But instead of being saucy or claustrophobic its just so cozy you could die#anyway last notes I love how the calendar on the wall has a little x we can infer is today!!! because the homeowner was So! Excited!!!#and I love the lonely fan on the bookcase and flower on the cactus (that is a well loved spiky boye). Anyway. Now onto the characters!#now onto the characters! (tho I feel like the environment deserves even more love I just dont have the words yknow) to start with#I love all the eye contact and how it economically explains so many relationships. Edo has this smug grin @ Ryo while Manjo looks both#annoyed and unimpressed (maybe because Ryo is late after work?). All of them have suits to show theyre all hard working pro duellists#Sho and Judai are also looking to Ryo but with a more casual vibe like “welcome home bro!” “welcome home bro of my bro!” Theyre also
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CUTE BOY ASKED ME TO HANG OUT SOMETIME THIS WEEK
#throwing up currently !!! very excited#although i do feel bad cause he suggested getting coffee and walking around the park but i don’t really drink coffee i gotta break it to him#ANYWAY IM EXCITED#c speaks
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YOU CAN MAKE THE PINBORD BIGGER I CAN PUT SO MUCH crap DO you like the color of the BOB? Let's think about this
#memory posts#Hmmm... Hmmmm..#OHHH it would also be fun to have a pinboard that was like adopts styled after Pet Sims (Guy who doesn't make adopts voice)#PLANS: MAKE MY view on stickfigures available somewhere in a journal or other.#make scary pinboard collage. i think BOB on my hand like spongeob would be awesome#Uhhhh. figure out the rest of it#have a BOB's knife pointer maybe..#i wonder how you put gifs on sheezy. whenever i put one it doesnt really move. maybe its cuz its a gif file?#ANYWAY. EXCITING developments. I love websites.#ANyway im going ot go to sleep now probably and hopeuflly entry tomorrow. (SIGH)#i was supposed to drink coffee today THATS probably why. everything fell through because i had icecream instead#GOODNIGHT :3
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