#anyways im gonna be so normal about this anime trust

[spock-adoodledoo]

the elusive samurai animators went insanely hard

[sabh0]

Is skk abusive? Other than the name calling and banter that I just don't take seriously, I've seen people say that Dazai is abusive since he planned for Chuuya to be tortured in stormbringer and didn't help because it would be boring, despite having the ability to do so. There's also the whole manipulating the sheep thing.

I've also seen people say that Chuuya is abusive because of how violent he is, how he punched Dazai to wake him up in Dead Apple and called him inhuman(? Ngl, I don't remember that part) and because Chuuya shot him more times than necessary in Meursault.

Personally, I struggle to see them as abusive r toxic, if only because of how much they trust and understand each other, and how they rile each other up for fun without letting it actually impact their relationship, but I may just be biased? What do you think?

Ok im just gonna say - dont take this post ad some 100% real wisdom or anything. It's just my personal opinion and it's definitely biased as well because of how much these two mean to me but yeah

I wouldn't call them abusive in relationship terms because all that banter and most of their fights are just, as u said it, unserious.

They're both fucked up a bit tho, so yeah there's definitely some toxic behaviours anyway.

Dazai manipulating Chuuya to join the sheep always made me real sad, but if you think about it more - Dazai knew The Sheep aren't any better for Chuuya. Plus if not like this, Mori would get Chuuya to join PM anyway in one way or another, since it was a plan from the beginning.

Dazai planned the whole 'helping Verlaine' thing to buy time so the PM forces could get ready to protect Mori and Chuuya later. That's mafia they're in - lives are not equal. Also Dazai wouldn't put Chuuya in danger he knew the other wouldn't be able to deal with. Either way, his whole yapping about wanting to see Chuuya being tortured is yet again that stupidly weird banter of theirs. After all, he's trying to find him and literally stop him from doing something he would regret. (Sab is trying to make some points but that still doesn't make whatever Dazai did something good. Just sayin. I just don't feel it's a black or white situation.)

I said it some time ago but lord, Chuuya is not abusive. Look, he knows when it's alright to fight Dazai and when he should stop himself not to hurt him. Even if they fight, he never does it seriously. Basement scene? He could've very well just punched Dazai without warning there. But instead he literally invited him to fight - and Dazai very much agreed to that sht with a smile on his lips. They're just very much not okay in the head on both sides. Later when Chuuya actually got angry, he himself threw his knife to the ground, which only shows he doesn't really have any intent of hurting Dazai seriously (In the manga. In the anime they changed it for whatever reason and he did strike him with the knife. But anime skk is just. Anime skk.).

That Dead Apple argument is so funny bc??? Chuuya was literally UNDER CORRUPTION AT THE TIME??? Corruption literally makes him lose control. He could kill a person with one touch. Instead??? Corruption Chuuya in dead apple somehow managed to hold himself back just enough not to actually hurt Dazai. Also, Dazai f knew he's gonna punch him anyway. I mean, bro kinda deserved it atp tbh /j

Cant really tell much about the shooting thing in Meursault - i stil have no f idea if these were even real, considering the fact Dazai is moving normally and there's no wounds/holes/blood visible on him or his clothes. These were probably just a play like the whole headshot thing?? (Tho dazai's scream and expression after that arm shot say otherwise),, really don't know, call it a better impression on Fyodor or Chuuya actually paying Dazai back for the other times

Ok so ,looks at all that sht i just wrote and tried to still excuse it somehow, I wouldn't call them abusive anyway just bc I've seen actual abusive relationships in real life and that's just uhh different in a way i cant really put my finger on,, there's some toxicity simply from the fact they're emotionally constipated and won't talk things thru like they should but,,, welp. Tbh i see most of their usual fighting as something unserious that both of em r okay with. Usually when they actually get into an argument about something it's because one actually got hurt by the other's words (for example that scene with Chuuya punching Dazai after he made jokes about Colonel's death). And they apologize without really apologizing, too (Dazai going to find Shibusawa and trying to take revenge on Colonel's death and later Chuuya going to rescue Dazai and saying to 'wait for him').

Unpopular opinion but i honestly feel that in the future they could very well form a normal, healthy relationship. They just really need to talk. Bickering and calling each other names for fun isn't imo really a form of abuse, when both sides know it's not meaning to hurt the other fr (if it was, then me and most of my friends would be fr abusing each other unfortunately) (and I don't feel abused even if we call each other names and say we hate each other, while watching cat reels together at the same time) (consider this some sibling-like stuff)

If nothing of whatever i just said makes sense, don't eat me please, it's just really hard for me to explain what i really think without being able to just talk for 5h straight while considering every ppint of view

[citrusinicake]

Day 2 :: Zombie Apocalypse

full text below

do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to be a zombie in this economy? you just go out there trying to have a bite to eat so you go up to some randos and they just start SHOOTING YOU! like straight up just SHOOTING YOU! like what the hell man? i mean i know im trying to rip your brains out and shit but cant you let a guy just fucking eat???? speaking of, this guy's brain tastes weird like im pretty sure its at least fifty percent plastic, maybe even a hundred percent i don't know. was he your boyfriend or something? does this mean you're single? wanna go out sometime? you're annoying as shit but i like that in a man, keeps you on your toes y'know? keeps you humble as well like you just wake up in bed one day and go "oh god this is the guy im dating and i don't even want to break up with him or anything what the hell's wrong with me," which i think is a pretty important thing to have-- at least for me 'cause im awesome as shit and if i don't have that sort of anchor i'll probably lke turn into god or something and i dont wanna be god. not out of self-esteem issues or anything, just out of principle 'cause i think that everyone should have a fair chance at killing me which not gonna lie is pretty easy but that's besides the point, the point is that i think anyone who wants to be god is fucking stupid and should just fucking die. like, hello??? who the hell do you think you are rying to reign above other people? are you stupid? are you dumb? hello? anyways, if you wanna know more about what i think of this i post a lot on r/atheism, im user u/waffleontopp-- wait , do i have to explain reddit to you? 'cause you seem more like a tumblrina to me, honestly reddit's pretty similar to tumblr so you won't have a lot of trouble figuring it out on your own but don't be shocked ifbyou see cock and balls on there since porn isn't banned there unlike tumblr. how's that whole thing treating you by the way? must be tough not seeing some girl's boobs every once in a while-- wait are you gay or bi? must be tough not seeing some guy's boobs every once in a while, that won't be problem if you start dating me though. haha just kidding, my chest is basically concave now after a survivor beat me repeatedly with a baseball bat so ive got like negative double D's now. oh but i do know this one guygirlthing whose boobs are out basically 24/7 who likes to hang out with me and this other guy so maybe that'll make up for it. they're not zombies and im pretty sure they didnt get infected so you don't have to worry about that but they miiiight have rabies or something im not sure to be honest so maybe watch out for that instead. if youre wondering why two non-infected humans are hanging out with a zombie then we're in the same boat, might have something to do with the possible rabies i mentioned earlier. also if they tell you that im their pet zombie that is simply not true, if anything it's the other way around, they're my pet guard dogs and they do basically anything i say even if it kills them. or at least i wish it would kill them, they're way too hardy in my opinion, i need them to die so i can eat their brains-- oh but then i'll have to do manual labor. hmm, on second thought, they can stay actually i don't wanna deal with all that. normally i dont even do my own kills nowadays, i just leave a trap or get the other two to do it for me, you guys just caught me offguard which is lowkey embarassing but trust me i am a huge, like Huge alpha sigma gamma male and would totally dominate everyone else around me. but not in a god way of course, just in a lone sigma alpha gamma wolf kinda way like those anime wolf furry drawings. you know the ones. and like im not a furry but not gonna lie they totally popped off with those

[columbiastapshoes]

headcanons part 3‼️‼️ crazy‼️

hey guys it’s me the person with the regular posting schedule and normal amount of thoughts about this movie! woo hoo! this one is a bit shorter, my sk8 hyperfixation has been completely taking over my brain LMAO but without further ado here u go!

-columbia has a stuffed animal that she is extremely emotionally bonded to. i’d like to think it’s a rabbit with big floppy ears and it’s made out of that kind of rough towel-like texture ykwim?? but anyways she’s had it since she was little and it’s so dirty and has no stuffing in its neck anymore but she refuses to fix or clean it and just carries it around everywhere

-magenta fucking loves earth candy. homegirl is trying to keep up the “i hate this planet it has no redeeming qualities” act but as soon as someone walks into the room with gummy bears she goes absolutely feral

-frank is scared of cats. yes, i know he has the mannerisms of a cat and that is why it’s funnier to me that when he sees a cat he will just leave the room. but also he’s not like an “AAAAAAHHHH A CAAAT THATS SO SCAARRRYYY” person like he’s trying to be subtle about it and won’t admit to being scared but it doesn’t fool anyone

-brad LOVES 50s love songs and also jazz of all kinds. stole this bit from a fanfic but his nickname for frank is sinatra :3 but anyways he’s always playing an ella fitzgerald or doris day vinyl and humming along to the melody while he reads or does other stuff

-frank either wakes up at 5 am or 2 pm. no in between.

-is columbia a dancer? yes. does she use those skills when she’s just dancing to music by herself? absolutely not. she bounces to the beat like a toddler. i love her.

-frank again :3 that bitch absolutely has pierced ears, belly button, and tongue. the movie isn’t canon and i know what i’m talking about <3

-magenta is goth most of the time but when it gets really hot and she cannot survive in all black she gives up and goes whimsigoth with purples and dusty pinks and browns <3

-rip columbia u would have loved electro swing

-ever wondered how riff got that hunch in his back? i have the answer! when he and magenta were little he tried to cut her hair while she was sleeping and she judo flipped him and it just never healed properly

-i could have sworn i posted this one before but i can’t find it? so im just gonna say it now- after the movie events (in my brain no one dies and brad and janet unofficially move in let me have this) janet is trying so hard to be supportive of everybody and im picturing her and magenta as that customwoodburning clip that’s like “are you a les-bin?” “yes ma’am i am” “AWESOME‼️‼️‼️ 🔥🔥🔥”

-magenta is a witch and has an altar in her room, the first time brad went in there he accidentally bumped into it and was scared that the spirits were gonna be mad and kill him and magenta was jokingly like “yeah. ur dead” and he was like “oh no D:” and she had to clarify it was a joke

-frank reads erotic novels at the dinner table and comments on them out loud 🫶

-columbias favorite animal is a jellyfish. i have no reasoning but nell campbell indirectly talked to me and i have been hyperfixated on this movie for over 2 years so u can trust me on this one

[sugar-omi]

okay, so i've been doing some thinking. i've been scrolling through your blog and i stepped upon these "cheating on cove with Baxter and the other way around" scenarios. (i'm sorry, i wasn't able to read them, my heart couldn't take it ;-;) but!

what if mc was like, in a normal relationship with Baxter. you know, a couple, maybe married later and stuff, while of course still being besties with Cove. later mc and Baxter have a kid together, maybe still a small baby but! plot twist! Baxter gets into an accident or something and dies. (i'm sorry, he's my favourite man but i had to kill him for that scenario:'))

mc is completely devastated and also a little panicked, because what about the baby? and then Cove stepps in, deciding to help his best friend take care of the little one and basically becomes its father. i recently watched a video of a dog "helping" a cat take care of her kittens, and there you have it.

this one may be boring, so feel free to ignore, but i can't stop thinking about it.

ITS OK<333 I figured some ppl didn't read it bc angst n pain</3 trust me I skip over angst all the time

(I even have the tag blocked😬 sorry angst writers but I will read it and not be the same for months, I read a kiribaku angst fic years ago, and was devesated for 4 months afterwards LMAO)

okay i... I cannot expand too much on this bc OUCH

(eta now that I've finished. who am I fooling? I rlly said that like I haven't wrote a whole novel 💀 anyway <3 this clearly made me pop off more than I thought I would bc I read this at first n was devastated!!! I had no words!!!! well clearly I found them LOL)

ALSO BORING??? ANON PLEASE.. BORING WHERE<///3

n im gonna fix the format later but for now here is the bare minimum. I'm going to bed rn so nini everyone enjoy a bit of angst I promise its fluffy as well<333

tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

p/n = parental name, since I wanted to leave flexibility for all the readers here <3

but anyway yeah cove would so step up for you

will follow you to the end of the earth and do whatever you need to help you work through this and to adapt to this sudden and unfortunate change

if/when your relationship starts becoming something romantic, cove would absolutely put the brakes on everything and you'd go so slow...

I imagine he'd probably move in with you or you with him, and he'd stay somewhere else (if you're living in his house he will leave anyway, he's a gentleman like that fr) so that way you can figure out if it's not just bc he's doing all these things n you're mistaking admiration for love

you'd spend the first year going super slow, as if you've never known each other before

which technically you haven't, since you've never dated before. but cove would go so far as to find out your favorite color, song, animal, food.. all over again, even though he has it memorized and knows your likes better than his own.

once cove is sure you're ready for this (after much talk between the two of you and even with your therapist that yes you've made enough progress and are emotionally ready for this) does he finally put a label on it

now if you get married...

I imagine cove won't propose at all

like I think you'd have to talk n almost beg him...

in that case he would do a small but grande gesture to propose. or he'd propose to you before you've even left the bed for the day... no inbetween

but like 8 times outta 10, you're gonna have to propose to him

he'd cry and hug you n say yes of course.

and unless you want to keep this outta your wedding, I think cove would include baxter in your wedding.

first, ofc you'd have the picture to honor his memory

but I think he'd even go so far as to have smth in his vows. but to start, he'd say smth like:

"I know the reason we became closer was unfortunate, but I'm so happy to be able to call you and [Child] my family. and I hope I can be a good father and husband"

and "baxter will always have a place in our hearts. even though he and I didn't get along at first (watery chuckle)... I'm glad he got to love you, and I hope he trusts me to love and cherish you the same way as well.."

also if you don't want to give up your wedding ring from baxter, I think cove would even go so far as to suggest combining it with his.

!!! omg I was gonna say your and baxter's wedding bands would be black, but I have another idea

okay now, for YOUR bands, I imagine they're either black or silver and yk those infinity(?) bands? that has the 2 types of metal or whatever

that's what cove would suggest doing. and if you are worried abt people asking why your bands are different, he'd get the same twisted band but silver with say a black diamond or smth. just smth to make it look like it's intentionally different colors but same design or smth

(im overthinking a bit but it's an idea right?! I'm not crazy??<////3)

or if you don't wanna do that, I imagine you can just slip it on a necklace or leave it as is, whatever you want. he wouldn't mind even if you kept wearing it, cove would never ask you to get rid of baxter's image or memory in any way, not unless it was a real problem and your attachment to him/his things was unhealthy anyway.

now for baxter's band... well if you didn't bury it with him, I imagine you'd give it to your child

another thing I think you could do w your wedding band as well, and give them both your bands to do whatever they want with. or if they don't want it of course you're not forcing them to keep it

even though they didn't get to know baxter, the way you and cove still cherish baxter's memory does help them feel something of a connection.

I also imagine baxter would take lots of photo n video w the kid, even though they're young n just a babe, theres so many videos of baxter looking n acting so loving w them

and even a couple where he's teary-eyed n all "imma do you right by you. I love you so much.."

of course, if the kid doesn't feel that connected to baxter since they were too young to know or rmbr anything, and they don't feel anything much other than sympathy and the occasional sting when they see how much baxter loved them, you don't force it.

you both know that baxter was basically a stranger to them and even though they still respect baxter and he has a place in their heart, they don't feel like they're lacking anything.

"I don't really know what to say.. or how to feel... I see how much [P/N] misses you sometimes, and we have pictures of you, and they talk about you and stuff...

but I don't feel like im missing a dad. I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings, I wish I knew you too. sometimes I wish you were still here, so I got to know you as well, even though I'm still happy to have dad cove for my dad.

I just wanna know what you were like. I wanna experience what you were like. I... I wanna miss you like everyone else misses you too...

anyway, just know that dad is great! he takes care of me and [P/N] really well! he makes breakfast in bed, and he does/used to do this thing where he lifts me in the air before bed! he's so cool. I see how he makes [P/N] happy as well, so don't worry. although, [P/N] said you always thought cove was reliable and a good guy so maybe you aren't worrying anyway.

well... that's it I guess. i hope ill get to know you one day, and maybe you can tell me you're glad to see dad took good care of us. goodbye,

baxter."

pa."

cove happily listens to anything they have to say on how they feel abt baxter btw. he accepts any of their feelings, be it that they don't feel anything at all, sympathy for others, or they feel sad abt losing him.

if they do say smth like how even though it's unfortunate and they feel bad for everyone who mourns baxter (for example/especially you), they see cove as their dad and don't feel like they're missing anything and they're happy to have cove for their dad.

ofc he cries n hugs them n tells them he loves em and he's happy n he comforts them if needed of course

I also think cove is very scared abt being a father

especially in this way... even if the kiddo doesn't remember anything, or it's hazy at best, he worries about replacing baxter.

he'd probably worry abt not living up to baxter

baxter was always much more mature, at least it seemed that way most times. cove just worries about if he has the backbone and the ability to parent the child well and be someone they can look up to and/or appreciate for being a good father

cries if they call him dad btw

if they do it before you start dating, I imagine it's one of the catalyst that cause you to talk abt your feelings for each other. or if it's in the early stage..

cove prbly freezes and runs away to the other room n freaks out, definitely cries. if you don't talk to him like right after he calls his dad n cries n shares his worries n fear

either way, when you do talk he's biting his nails n trying not to pace around the room and he's like "if you wanna distance yourselves so that they don't call me dad any more I totally understand, I mean idk it's prbly weird for you-"

n he just rambles. like none of it makes sense n u have to physically shut him up. kiss him, yell, throw a pillow, hit him w the child's stuffed animal, throw a single lego brick at his back and watch him fall to the floor like he just got a nuke thrown at him

if it's later on n theres nothing to worry abt bc youve talked abt this or saw it coming or its just the otherwise most natural step, he cries of course

but he doesn't fall apart from being his in the back w a single fucking Lego as if it hurt 🙄🙄🙄🙄 (I hate this man he's DRAMATIC)

well... actually no he does

hit him, kiss him, hug him, run him over w a hotel wheels truck.... he just cries harder

adopts them like immediately basically

I imagine you do it soon, like maybe before the wedding just so that way you can have a private moment (just to save him some embarrassment from ugly crying in front of your families. in fact he just might faint fr)

n you + the kiddo surprise him w adoption papers (depending on how old the babe is at this point, they have like no idea what's going on but they know that cove is now officially recognized by the whole world (even by the unicorns n wizards n warlocks) as their daddy))

imagine laying in bed w cove n the kid in between you two

and when you wake up, cove is alrdy awake and was watching you two. he was petting the kids wild hair and he had pulled the two of you in and kept you under his arm..

and the sunlight is coming in, the day is just perfect. n the look on cove's face is full of so much love but also a bit somber this time

(cove feels awkward being here like this sometimes. during times like this you have to remind him it's okay, and you pull him back in. of course he does the same for you on those days.)

"I love you two. so much..." he whispers, tears sticking to his lashes

the kid flips over, curling into cove and they stop their sleepy mumbling now that they're tucked into cove's chest, feeling warm, happy, and safe.

you whisper equally as tender. "we were meant to be like this too."

also!! smth I just thought of...

imagine the kid looks mostly/very much like baxter. they act very much like cove's kid

like you would think cove n baxter had a kid together LOL

(if the resemblance is too much, they ask if you're the step parent </3 pls Ik it may not make sm sense but I just think it'd be so fuckin funny)

[lucabyte]

HOWDY! *slams pile of papers on the desk* i have Inquiries. OKAY SO-

1.) i know the bridge between infurno and purrgatorio is Ali realizing they cant leave, so like, whats pawradisio???

2.) wtf happens ta Ali durin the 'age ???' section of their design timeline. what type cult stuff do they get involved w and how. its haunting me i needa know

3.) whats with the 3 year memory erasing thing in that one ali purrgatorio relationship chart. Really funny chart ive shared it w a few friends but also im staring intently at it like Huh What O_O

4.) what is mymk's final form? is it gonna be written, a comic, etc?

5.) got any music you associate w any mymk characters/ali? besides like, in canon reasons like Chrome more like any songs/artists/lyrics that remind u of anya em :0??

anyway yeah huge fan! also hope ur vacation's fun!

Hehe hi :)

1. We shall get there when we get there <3 my lips are sealed. Though I will say, there are further books by Dante one can animal-pun the titles of... Though they aren't part of the divine comedy..... (Alludes vaguely to plans that will inevitably take me years)

2. Okay so spoilers for Creature Feature, Ali's home setting (and @samhainian's thing) (because this is all a bit of an open secret) but Ali is, as I've alluded to previously, an Antagonist.

Creature Feature is a real world adjacent setting, set in our modern day, only with all manner of monsters and cryptids living secretly alongside humans. Ali lives in Wraithbrook, a hidden town populated primarily by monsters (albeit, most everyone still upholds a disguise, just in case). Being a (very) small town with an effectively captive population.... The post-high-school ennui tends to set in bad for people. Hope you enjoy the family businesses, kids.

So... This leaves the listless vulnerable. And boy is Ali a bit malleable. A trusted figure in their life takes advantage of this, part of an accellerationist group looking to break these confines, having singled them out as candidate for their most recent attempt to mold a magic user into a weapon to shatter the veil. And, well, if you've got a self-hating isolated guy who is predisposed to a bit of Catholicism already... Why not utilise the concept of the antichrist? They will be bringing a world together, in a way... And when you've been around as long as some immortal librarians have, doing a little bit of time dilation in the later stages of indoctrination isn't thaaaaat hard... Sooooo....

(But don't worry. They get better. Eventually. At least they look it. Everything is A-OK!!!)

(as for if purrgatorio is canon to this timeline....? Yes! But in a fucked up way! Can't make it too easy for the little guy....)

3. Okay so I was coy literally a sentence ago but yeah purrgatorio is set dead on like.. at the exact same time MYMK proper *should* start. Thus, it cannot exist at the same time as the main story... Ali's narrative powers keep them from being subsumed by the universe and just becoming a funny animal themselves.

But should a time come where Ali is *gone*, and the world is similar enough to the moments before they arrived? Well, the narrative can just pretend the time hasn't passed! Just, don't think too hard about your count of how many Halloweens and Christmasses you've had doesn't really line up....

(A normal person would simply name Purrgatorio noncanon, but hey, if Ali's whole thing is that they manipulate reality like a Narrative... Well. May as well use it! So once canon is over for both parties, things can start creeping back in. It's needlessly overcomplicated but I'm having fun)

4. Written with illustrations! An Online picture book, I suppose. I was initially damning myself to a comic, but after playing in the space with Purrgatorio, I realised I prefer prose. I'll probably write the thing in whole and then release it bit by bit as I work on the illustrations? I have a working outline as of right now and it's not a super long story lol. But its likely going to come after some practice with smaller projects like my reworking of Hazeclan and maybe Damonquest (name pending) (the latter featuring a cut main character of mymk lol)

So! ETA: a while. But we stay silly

5. OKAY.... so I can't link character playlists sadly since they don't exist (..... Yet.) and I'll stick primarily to our at present Purrgatorio cast.

I am like. Famously bad with identifying songs (<- usb stick full of songs on shuffle in the car as a kid) but I have been trying to put thought into this recently (my gold standard for this being my friend @teddymedley who's so good with character songs I did ask him for some vibe checks for this even)

So these are messy and some are like, inherited from earlier drafts of the characters so can be a bit off but I'll give a handful and their reasonings. (No links or embeds though I'm on mobile and Tumblr might eat my visibility if I do. I'll reply with some though)

[Ali Alighieri]

1. "Here comes the flood" by the Divine Comedy (self explanatory really, that animatic will exist someday I promise. This is THE big one to me, but @samhainian may have a different top spot opinion lol) Bonus: it has a demo version that also fucks supremely

2. "All the angels (demo)" by MCR. (Ali is not the MCR sibling, they're the P!ATD sibling. But I don't listen to panic lol)

3. "If you could save yourself you'd save us all" by Ween (peak "sorry what was that line just there?" song)

4. "In the meantime" by Spacehog (I like Spacehog. Everyone gets a spacehog song yaaay)

5. "Here comes the sun" cover by Ghost (not their style of music at ALL and you KNOW they're contrarian about the Beatles, but grim irony is such a vibe here)

[Chromium Mono]

1. "Manicure" by Lady Gaga (this is such a flippant "because I said so" choice lol)

2. "Let it grow" by Renaissance (this is such a nice cheesy song. I like to think of this as speaking to the actual nice loving guy chrome can be when he's not being a prickly bitch)

3. Kissing Ancaps by Patricia Taxxon (... GOD this song is way too cool or smart for chrome lol. It's a chrometab song to me because of the big words and cynicism. It's too modern and online for them but I'm attached to it... Also it contains a sample from let it grow)

4. "Run away with me" by Carly Rae Jepsen (more vibes based! Love some ms jepsen. But at least has a coherent theme wrt to eloping lol)

Bonus: oh god I really have to finish the voiceclaim video I was making. Premiere kept melting on me but I should probably let the world know chrome sounds like Donald Glover huh. The marshall lee to live action Simba pipeline.....

Bonus 2: @teddymedley suggested "Ratchet" by Bloc Party, with the phrasing "subject matter younger chrome sound older chrome" which I like!

[Tabitha Boss]

1. "Cable Rat King" by Gem Milsom (this one genuinely feels like a solid choice to me. It's polite and tentative and about depressive spirals, and is from the same album as the Number One Main Labyrinthine song, Pipes. That animatic will exist someday too I promise)

2. "This too shall pass" by OK GO (Preferably the brass band version. I think Tabitha would adore their videos, he'd be delighted by the moving parts and generally light tone. Also, Labyrinthine has a different "this too shall pass", being by Danny Schmidt)

3. "When will you die?" By TMBG (goofy song. But you get it.)

4. "Zeroes" by Spacehog (Spacehog again 👍)

Bonus: Jimmy buffet discography. He is living on island time baby

Bonus 2: @teddymedley assigned "Happy Hour" by Eels and I think the strange upbeat lethargic energy fits

[Lavender Wafeu]

Lavender is really funny because I honest to god don't think she listens to much music. This means I barely associate music with her apparently.

However @teddymedley did suggest "Black Rainbows" from Hawaii: Part 2, and I think that's better than any of my previous notes. Those previous notes being entirely the words "Little shop of horrors". She, Knives and Mafioso do also share an association with "Panda Hero" by Hachi but that's more visual to me?

I have however begun associating some Zelda OST tracks with her though... Hmmm....!

[Markus Felidae]

This poor bastard has shed and gained characterisation recently enough to have shook the MCR out of their system.... I don't have all that much for them.

Now. Hm. I think I'd have to go with some very on the nose musical tracks? My mind immediately goes to the opening track to Disney's Notre Dame, and maybe like, Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer from Cats? These are such dreadful picks lol. Sorry buddy, characterisation overhaul syndrome. They probably also would listen to P!ATD same as Ali though so do with that what you will.

Bonus: in Markus' earliest iteration over 10 years ago..hrm. long story short, 121 guns is so fucking unfitting but it's lodged there forever lol

[Lupus Felidae]

Lupus is associated in my head with the kind of dub anime opening best codified by 4kids era Pokémon. Like the ideal song here is that one from Yugioh. "No matter what"? That kind of cheese and boyish power of friendship. "OK!!" From the JP endings of anipoke goes here too it's cute to me.

"I can go the distance" from Disney's Hercules is also up there for the same vibes. She's just silly and having fun!

Bonus: "Don't let's start" by TMBG is a Miao song to me, but in relation to her family. So it's also Lupus and Markus' by association.

[Ess Somil]

The idea of an ess playlist is hysterical to me. I feel like it's a Mother 3 battle theme in that man's head all the time. What's your time signature boy.

Anyway, "Numbers" by Neil Cicierega. Since it is overwhelming enough of a soundscape. Or just "Doctor Worm" by TMBG. For that they live in the soil.

.... And that's probably enough!!! This ask is very long now! Sorry it took a while to answer lmaooo. I've been very busy but it's been nice to chip away at during my downtime! Thank you so much for the questions :)

[scarletiswailing347]

postinf the text for my day 2 bsweek prompt here cause its making me lag lol

do you have any idea how fucking hard it is to be a zombie in this economy? you just go out there trying to have a bite to eat so you go up to some randos and they just start SHOOTING YOU! like straight up just SHOOTING YOU! like what the hell man? i mean i know im trying to rip your brains out and shit but cant you let a guy just fucking eat???? speaking of, this guy's brain tastes weird like im pretty sure its at least fifty percent plastic, maybe even a hundred percent i don't know. was he your boyfriend or something? does this mean you're single? wanna go out sometime? you're annoying as shit but i like that in a man, keeps you on your toes y'know? keeps you humble as well like you just wake up in bed one day and go &quot;oh god this is the guy im dating and i don't even want to break up with him or anything what the hell's wrong with me,&quot; which i think is a pretty important thing to have-- at least for me 'cause im awesome as shit and if i don't have that sort of anchor i'll probably lke turn into god or something and i dont wanna be god. not out of self-esteem issues or anything, just out of principle 'cause i think that everyone should have a fair chance at killing me which not gonna lie is pretty easy but that's besides the point, the point is that i think anyone who wants to be god is fucking stupid and should just fucking die. like, hello??? who the hell do you think you are rying to reign above other people? are you stupid? are you dumb? hello? anyways, if you wanna know more about what i think of this i post a lot on r/atheism, im user u/waffleontopp-- wait , do i have to explain reddit to you? 'cause you seem more like a tumblrina to me, honestly reddit's pretty similar to tumblr so you won't have a lot of trouble figuring it out on your own but don't be shocked ifbyou see cock and balls on there since porn isn't banned there unlike tumblr. how's that whole thing treating you by the way? must be tough not seeing some girl's boobs every once in a while-- wait are you gay or bi? must be tough not seeing some guy's boobs every once in a while, that won't be problem if you start dating me though. haha just kidding, my chest is basically concave now after a survivor beat me repeatedly with a baseball bat so ive got like negative double D's now. oh but i do know this one guygirlthing whose boobs are out basically 24/7 who likes to hang out with me and this other guy so maybe that'll make up for it. they're not zombies and im pretty sure they didnt get infected so you don't have to worry about that but they miiiight have rabies or something im not sure to be honest so maybe watch out for that instead. if youre wondering why two non-infected humans are hanging out with a zombie then we're in the same boat, might have something to do with the possible rabies i mentioned earlier. also if they tell you that im their pet zombie that is simply not true, if anything it's the other way around, they're my pet guard dogs and they do basically anything i say even if it kills them. or at least i wish it would kill them, they're way too hardy in my opinion, i need them to die so i can eat their brains-- oh but then i'll have to do manual labor. hmm, on second thought, they can stay actually i don't wanna deal with all that. normally i dont even do my own kills nowadays, i just leave a trap or get the other two to do it for me, you guys just caught me offguard which is lowkey embarassing but trust me i am a huge, like Huge alpha sigma gamma male and would totally dominate everyone else around me. but not in a god way of course, just in a lone sigma alpha gamma wolf kinda way like those anime wolf furry drawings. you know the ones. and like im not a furry but not gonna lie they totally popped off with those

[vivisols]

You like NSR right?

have you played it?

do you like encore or the original version?

Do you ship any characters together?

will you write about it?

favorite characters? perhaps a tier list?

annnnddd uhmmmm can you draw your favorite character exploding? Idk I think it’d be funny, comical explosion

YEAHHHHH IVE PLAYED IT!!!!! IVE PLAYED IT LIKE 12 TIMES OVER IM INSANE. i mean uhhhh im soooo normallllllllll

Anyways ANYWAYS uhhh original or encore hmm…. im gonna have to go with encore bc i like the animated opening and all the fanart graffiti hehe.., so neat! :3

ermmmm.. anon i uh.l. the only characters i ship together are erm. Um. uhhh. looks around,. my oc and dj subatomic supernova. GUYS WHO SAID THAT. WHO SAID THATTTTT anyways

I USED TO WRITE SO JUCH FOR IT!!! AND I DEFINITELY PLAN TO WRITE ABOUT IT AGAIN! IM A SELF INDULGENT BEAST AT HEART AND I LOVE NSR SO MUCHHHHH GRAHHHHH I CANT NOT… TRUST ME THE NSR FNAF AU HAS BECOME ONE OF MY CURRENT BRAINWORMS LOL

my favorite characters.., OUGH SO TOUGH. I LIKE ALL OF THEM SO MUCHHHH AAAAAAAAA… but dj subatomic supernova is my TOP TOP TOP favorite and neon j is an EXTREMELY close second… im SO feral about DJ subatomic supernova like trust me i am SOOOO incredibly normal about him…

and as you requested! djss exploding :3

this is just the 3rd phase of his boss fight methinks LMAO

[boypussydilf]

im free from my fe trance and can think like a normal person tell me about dororo for th character ask game with ummm 8, 21, 27 <3

the joy of numbered ask games is doing an ask game but the agony of them is getting an ask and then you have to go back and fucking check what corresponds to which number and remember which numbers they said and shit

8. Your favorite outfit of them

Perfect question to ask about any sgt frog character let me just *cracks open wiki gallery page* my real favorites might be his little sailor outfit and his pink ranger outfit but the wiki doesn’t have a good picture of the pink ranger outfit and doesn’t have any picture of his sailor outfit and i dont know which episodes theyre in so instead look at his keroro rpg outfit and dororous outfit

^ fuck man i want an aviator cap with goggles and a scarf id look cool as hell. Anyway the dororou outfit ^ kills me bc the weird shit that happens with his hat is confirmed to just be a side effect of getting possessed that happens to anyone (long story that is not relevant to the topic of fun outfits) but like the clothes. Arent. He had to… do that himself. I guess. “Hang on if im going to go insane i should at least be sure i have the right outfit for it. Leather(?) pants, check. Entire fucking cape, check. Shirt that looks like it came from the girl’s section of a Walmart, check.” Does he just HAVE this stuff? This is one of those things where it’s so SPECIFIC that it feels like, well it’s probably just a reference to something that I don’t understand, but i also rarely feel like there’s a non-zero chance that it ISNT a reference to anything and they just like……… Did. that.

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

I WOULD GUESS PROBABLY THE ONE MONTH TO ONE AND A HALF YEARS (depending on which continuity you’re looking at) IN THE NINJA VILLAGE W KOYUKI. absolutely fascinated by how beautiful it is. apparently almost completely distracted from the fact that none of his team has been looking for him or responded to any of the fucking letters he sent them. has friends maybe? there’s koyuki and in the anime there’s zeroyasha too. everyone in shinobino village knew him which is like … weird and funny to think about …. theres like a hundred or however many people out there in the world who just knew this Little Guy for a while ….. but we don’t know the details of any other relationships like if he was Actually Friends with mukuro or anyone else or whatever. Anyway yeah it was probably that time he was literally like “this place is so beautiful i never want to leave, ever” Sorry dude the village is going to get broken up and then flooded <3 byeeeeee!!!!

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

ok the first person i think of is zhaan from farscape. bc like. blue aliens. nature. the sane ones. pacifists but HAVE killed. but in the grand scheme of things shes like low on the list i think.

I vaguely imagined a p5/keroro crossover once. you know how it is. theres a certain level of sworn duty to go “hm i like this thing. what other things that I’ve liked can i smash into it full speed to create a new thing that is an abomination against nature and god.” I didn’t think about it very hard, it’s kind of difficult to think about, what with the two DRASTICALLY different tones of media, but I do think dororo is the one with the best chance of like… actually Getting Along. with any of the phantom thieves. The thieves would probably struggle to trust any of the other frogs, on account of the untrustworthiness. but dororo can be more normal. He and Haru 100% should hang out. God willing. They would have a great time and she wouldn’t even forget about him.

*squints* this post might be long i dont know. you can’t really gauge how long a post is gonna be in post editor on mobile. but it’s probably big. Too bad! No readmore for you suckers! Just be glad i didn’t make it even bigger by going and getting screencaps of the manga chapter that flashes back to dororo & koyukis meeting and has him saying he never wants to leave and stuff like i considered doing! A dororo is an animal that can crawling on the ground. He’s always wanted to fight a tiger. He fought a tiger. One time. The tiger named its child after him. Thanks

[i-know-you-know-we-know-lee-know]

Enhypen hyung line react to their so falling asleep on them

Its time

Aka i felt motivated again😌

I thought i should continue with the falling asleep reaction soooooo

Should i do a txt one?

Listening to Memorabilia did something to me and im now going through a major Enha phase

Im not complaining tho

Enjoy :3

Ps: Lucifer is my favorite ;)

Warnings: Grammar mistakes, spelling errors, not proofread, random thoughts, sorry this is so short 😭🙏

Maknae line

Heeseung

Shy...

But

Not?

He's either a blushy mess or you are

If he's the blushing mess he probably wasn't expecting it

Heefused

He's happy that you trust him enough to sleep on him so comfortably

Awkwardly pats your head

😭

Poor boy doesn't know what to do

Kinda just stares off into space

But reflexively puts his arms around your waist

He probably stares at you while you sleep

In a non creepy way

May or may not fall asleep

However

If you're the blushing mess

...

Prepare yourself for some melting cuz he's gonna fluster you like there's no tomorrow

Will be all "😏?"

Like,

Sir

Please

I am but a poor innocent girl

Why must you do this to me?

I understand why this man is the most biased in enha ヽ(゜▽��゜)ノ

Moving on-

He will still cuddle you back

Hug you around your waist

Ya know, the normal

With a little extra Heespice™ added

Aka he's just hotter when he does thingss

When you wake up he kisses your forehead

Tells you to go back to sleep

And then falls asleep with you

(╥﹏╥)

Jay

Literally won't care

Lol

He would still be happy that you felt comfortable enough to pass out on top of him

But he would just treat it like an everyday experience

Even if it doesn't happen every day

You come over and sit on his lap and he just hugs you untill you fall asleep

May be mildly concerned

But by the time he has processed that he should be concerned

You've fallen asleep

And he doesn't want to wake you

So he does the chivalrous thing and falls right asleep with you

CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD

But if you know one thing about him it's that you can't wake him up once he's fallen asleep

He sleeps like a dead body

Like me :D

So when you inevitably wake up before him you have two choices

A: go back to sleep

B: wake him up

Obviously you choose to wake him up because its no fun being awake by yourself

All you have to do is play billy poco for five seconds and it wakes any of the members up-

Anyways have fun trying to wake him up because if you do he will drag you right to bed and fall back asleep

Even if its 3:26 pm

Let the poor man rest

Jake

Flustered

There's no way around it

He's just a generally flustered puppy

He's kinda like Hee where he doesn't know what to do

But he just does things unconsciously

Im a strong believer that Jake is the heater in Enhypen

So he woud be warm

And comfy

He would rub your back

Draw little shapes on your back

When you wake up he would keep doing it and have you guess what he was drawing

I love when people do that

Excuse me while i take my mandatory combustion break-

*𝔼𝕩𝕡𝕝𝕠𝕕𝕖𝕤*

Would wrap your arms around his waist

And pull you as close as he could to himself

He just wants you to be with him

And how could you deny that face?

You cant

The answer is nobody can deny that face

Would whisper in your ear

Little affirmations

AGDJDJ

Squeezes you

HE JUST WANTS YOU TO BE NEAR HIM OK?

He hugs you like yourr a giant stuffed animal

He just loves his cuddles🥰

Will cuddle you back to sleep

Yes

 ( Ĭ ^ Ĭ ) 

Sunghoon

Oh boy

He will be confused

"why would you want to sit on my lap?"

He just doesn't understand

That he's my bias wrecker~

Even more confused when you fall asleep

Flabbergasted, you could say

I love that word

He would worry that he would wake you up

Evn though he's sitting still

And your fast asleep

But he loves it

Definitely zones out

Because he doesn't know what to do

Hell just sit there like🧍‍♂️😃

Puts his chin on your head

Will probably play with your fingers

Just for fun

Definitely not to keep from falling asleep

Definitely not...

*falls asleep*

Hes a sleeper

But he cant help it because your so comforting

I mean have you ever had someone fall asleep on top if you?

Ok nevermind that's never happened to me

But you can probably imagine

How

✨fabulous✨

It would be

Youur just returning the favor of sleep to him

If you two sleep for long enough one (or all) of the members will find you and take pictures

But maybe you want that

When else are you going to see how cute a sleeping Sunghoon is?

[ooglywooglies]

i know that discourse thingy was some very ignorable shit, i think it normally would be but detox makes me stupid and moody so im gonna keep complaining (sorry)

but that particular thing of people just like assigning you a specific ideology and making assumptions about your beliefs based on that assignment that THEY made is so... why do we do that, and im clearly also guilty of it on some level considering i saw proship in that one persons bio and went oh that means they enjoy fiction that promotes harmful ideas (there is nuance to what proship can mean but generally i dont trust it bc i associate it with incest and pedophilia which i dont think are concepts one should be even exploring on a public space like the internet but im not against dark topics in fiction, explorative or otherwise)

like you wanna talk about food and animals with me, you assume im either a vegan or not a vegan, technically im not a vegan. technically im a weirdo whos very into the demystification of death in general (i could also go on about our obsession with corpse preservation/decay avoidance and how i think its bad and wrong) im a zoologist, i like hunting and fishing but not for sport, i dont eat beef as a choice (for multiple reasons i dont care to explain right now but none of them involve my feelings about the cow itself)

like truly we do not know each other why would you or i or anyone else be confident enough to make a debate out of any stray perspective you find. thats generally how i like to be on the internet is like, im just out here saying shit i dont expect anyone to respond, youre not invited to either. im not familiar with all the ways tumblr has changed in the past couple years but i swear people did not used to be able to find your posts if you did not tag them, but i guess its good that you can turn off reblogs now. like i know its on me to take some responsibility and make sure my void is really a void but i also dont feel like shit i post has ever screamed HEY YOU THERE SCROLLING THROUGH A TAG I DIDNT ACTUALLY ADD, IM TALKING TO YOU SPECIFICALLY, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ALL THIS

and no one has any way of knowing this because how could you but its not based on my assumptions about you but i hate strangers, so fucking much. theres not much that makes my blood boil more than someone talking to me when i have 0 familiarity with them, unless i asked for it i guess. like im an artist i have to grapple with that sometimes. if were not mutuals or ive never seen your name before im NEVER talking to you and i despise you for trying. it doesnt matter because its impossible to know this beforehand, but its still the case anyway.

okay my drowsey medicine kick't in hmmm maybe i get to takes a nap at 7 in the morning teehee

[growling]

episode 2 we are not done ahahahahahahaha. ahahahahahahhhhha

I am still 100% OVER dazai, he means NOTHING to me, he reminds me of vivia too much to be attractive anymore, and I WANT HIM OBLITERATED FOR IT.......... However- not to get too nsfw on main forgive me for a moment, after watching all that two(??? idk times not real to me) days before, the prospect that he may not be at all attracted to me nor desire me in any way, might have......... Awakened something else in my cnc lover ass which I previously thought could not be awakened. And listen, while I miiiiiiight have spend the rest of the night intensely "fantasizing" about "particular" "scenarios" regarding the character, I am STILL OVER HIM this doesn't mean anything he is STILL nothing but scum beneath my heel. This is normal between archnemeses. I am simply engaging in . l let's get to the episode shall we

I like the main guy's (i forgor) eye colors. they're nice. cool eyes for cool creature

dazai kill yourself get your stupid fucking face out of the frame FUCK YOU

Atsushi (that's his name) is such a specimen. first ichiro now this i am getting fed so w-

-god fucking damn it not you again. and he sounds so disgusting. i will hurt you

waiiiiiiit hold on. i spotted the most gorgeous ginger guy in the intro for but a few frames that changed my life. wh. where are we seeing him again . i nnneed that.

the intro goes so fucking hard actually

ANOTHER beautiful man but in black hair this time. They're danging scraps of meat just right in front of my cage before throwing it in a dazai bath bomb affected pool

atsushi listen to me young man do not help him we don't need him he frustrates me too much for my comfort

i just noticed his (atsushi's) belt tail... awwwwww. also those fingerless gloves slay on you. they'd slay on everybody tbh they can make any generic anime prettyboy go from a 4 to at least an 8

the way i clenched my jaw when dazai did that hand thing FUCKKINGSTOP appropriating homo culture you fucking twat I feel sick I feel sick

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH

"i cant believe he took a woman as a hostage, that coward" i will cover you in tar

I shouldn't be trusted to normally watch Kunikida in that pose. now bark boy. thank you, and I mean, thank you, unnamed cringe bomber guy.

cringe bomber guy looks legitimately disturbed by atsushi's pierdoling. and i am having so much fun rn yippeeee!!!!!!!

he's so fucking scared........

dazai stfu leave kunikida alone youre gonna give him indigestion and a heart attack. you do not value him enough....... as much as i do...... through my 1 and a half episodes of knowing him.....

YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHEERING AND CLAPPING AND

its dazai's fault btw

I KNEW he was gonna cover the bomb with himself

wait they were. they were. they were just fucking with him . gobsmacked

the bomber's a paid actor and he's actually a very polite fellow. i need a. breather

if that's your brother then s. stop doing that please. i mean its not lik e nvm anyway- wait are they siblings. did she actually say brother or did i make that up a few seconds ago because im pretty sure they're fucking. which is an OBSERVATION if I may add

president badass electric guitar theme i knew he was swag like that

he was forced to eat cement when he was six be affiliated with detectives when he was N/A [sighing emoji]. into the bizzy pit you go

wait i was joking beforehand but he IS actually being coerced right now. that's kinda... you know what. i hope he kills them all tbh

outro now. i didn't really see who atsushi moved his finger closer to in that scene but that was kinda, like im not gonna say anything, but, that was kinda,

stop petting him dazai fucking freak. repeating myself just in case he MEANS NOTHING TO ME

wh. why is dazai touching him like that. what is going on.

anyway........ episode 2 over. its me and Atsushi against the world me and the meepy <3333 my ciuciuciuciu chociu tuu niuńka a ciociocio- *slowly evolves more and more into undecipherable baby talk*

you know what. you know what. watching bsd since I heard so much about it (mutual osmosis (hi)) yet absolutely nothing at the same time. like who the hells this dazai guy and whys he kinda..... anyway episode 1

so sad how atsushi died of starvation in the first 5 minutes. guess show's over....exit theatre.

"you should kill yourself NOW" the hell did this guy do be declared public enemy number one of all orphanages. how many did he burn

atsushi's out for fucking BLOOD i wanna see him fail cringely and die of an infection curled up under a juniper bush. why does he run like that

is that the. dazai jumpscare

i knew this man for like 2 minutes and i desire him carnally

jesus fucking christ i need his pussy so bad. i am going to fuck the screen. i need to do unspeakable things to/for this dazai guy

not even listening to whatever they're saying im just hyperventilating over the prettyboy before me i could treat you so good dazai. i don't care about your morals or potential atrocities dazai pPLEASE just let me fucking hit. pick me. pick me. PICK ME

supernatural detectives AGAIN?

he did the =D !!!!!!!!

i don't think im in the right headspace to watch this scene while dazai backshots on my mind rotting my brain preventing me from forming critical thoughts or acknowledging reality. good lord this scene that should have been m

i too love bullying children for their subpar grind and googoogaga mentality

he did the

..........ooo is he the tiger. I also believed his story was questionable never trust an orphan

furry

although on further inspection..... oh no im sensing some vivia similiarities in dazai which might DRASTICALLY decrease his attractiveness to me if it keeps up..............

"im not into hugging men" oh fuck off ill fucking make you im going to make you die a crack addict and drop your corpse in a pigpen go fuck yourself guess im not allowed to have anything huh. my way or the highway boy pick one. this show fucking sucks i hate you

nevertheless. i will carry on as usual

dazai kill yourself

i will fucking stab you beat you or hurt you in some way. i will destroy your life i will render you unable to look another man in the eye ever again

go fuck yourself. not like i care. i don't care stop i don't know what you're talking about i DO NOT care im not. im not. im gonna break that dazai fucknut's femurs in a cold cruel non-erotic way he's not even that pretty im over it. im over us.

im gonna fucking shred him

[sabertoothwalrus]

i had ANOTHER dream abt miraculous ladybug and this ones a LONG one. it didnt have your artstyle but time paris DID have lovely architecture such as: the bigass hollow tree stumps in breath of the wild, u know the ones big enough to fit a shrine and a half. anyway, the final battle is Happening, people get to wonder if hawkmoth is gonna bite the dust in real time bc its being televised. this is all taking place smth like 3 yrs in the future from season 4 of the show. so theyre like uhhhh Older Teens and certifiably Tired Of All This Shit. so! at the bottom of one of those tree stumps, cat noir’s identity is going to be revealed! oh no!! hes in a #crisis of the soul mostly bc getting revealed would be Bad but also he doesnt feel like hes helping ladybug anymore. he doesnt feel trusted. a classic tale of the villain manipulating a traumatized teen. and ladybug (looking out over a roof and yelling at the top of her lungs) is like “ABSOLUTELY NOT YOU LEAVE MY PARTNER ALONE.” and bribes hawkmoth away by dangling her own secret identity in front of him like a worm on a hook. it works a little too well. her identity gets revealed! cat noir is safe but in the shuffle hes lost his miraculous and marinette picks it up. shes got both and puts them on. tikki and plagg are like “MARINETTE ITS SO DANGEROUS TO WEAR BOTH AT THE SAME TIME” and shes like “im going to punch hawkmoth in the face” and off she goes.

cat noir is nowhere to be found bc now hes adrian! and she doesnt know that! but he knows shes marinette! drama! so now ladybug is re transformed (without activating the black cat miraculous) and is whaling on hawkmoth. she crashes thru my house which is definitely not in paris and tells me and my sibs we have to get out NOW so we book it and its at this point the dream reveals to me that mylene’s mom is chinese and i sit there like Now Hold On A Minute and my mom says “i told u so!” and i tell her “you dont even watch the show???” mylene was wearing a green cheongsam. i don’t tend to ask questions. also by this point i made a mental note to tell u abt this bc it only gets more batshit.

ladybug told us (and everyone that was running away which was a lot of ppl) that if they find cat noir they shld tell him that ladybug loves him. then she has this Stellar idea. she finds nadja chamack and her camera (bc theres only two newspeople in all of paris and one of them runs reality tv) and is like “hi i need to get a message out to cat noir.” when the camera is situated on her (mind u ms chamack is VERY aware that this is her daughters babysitter and is currently holding hawkmoth in a chokehold) she says “im sorry cat noir. you believed in me and trusted me since day one and i couldnt extend you the same courtesy. i was wrong. there is no one else who can wield the black cat miraculous, no one else i would trust with the power of destruction. meet me at our normal rendezvous point so i can give back what is yours.” its all very heartfelt but undercut by the fact that hawkmoth’s bitch ass is shouting explicatives next to her. the fight resumes. she gets slammed into a wall á la every anime fight ever and manages to hide before getting to the roof where she’s waiting for cat noir. shes in a right amount of pain and tikki is running her mouth abt danger and injuries etc. marinette Will Not Move until cat noir shows up. and he does! adrian arrives! when marinette sees him she starts laughing and crying. adrian is rightfully confused. is this a good thing? is this a bad thing? did she hit her head? (yes to all 3.) marinette says “i have been in love with you since 10th grade.” (were they in 10th grade? i do not know.) adrian says “and ive been busy being in love with ladybug.” and then she apologizes again, gives him the ring back, they hug, kick ass and meet up in her room.

if it feels like we’re going rlly fast now its bc we are. the dream was pretty much a montage at this point. hawkmoth is arrested, the world knows who ladybug is, adrian is an orphan, nathalie is still sick, and marinettes parents r thinking that their kid has nearly died MULTIPLE TIMES and they never knew. also luka is under that bridge going “oh fuck.” marinette is in her room trying to explain what will happen next to alya and nino. alya says “i had to tell nino”and marinette says “i am beyond the point of anger. but whatever.” cat noir falls thru her sunroof and they hug (again, there was so much hugging in this dream to make up for the complete lack of hugging in the actual show) and alya + nino are like “uhhh awkward.” the last convo i don’t have quotes for bc at this point my alarm was ringing but it was something abt how marinette cant be ladybug or hold the miracle box and she wld want alya to be the holder but NINO knows and nino Cant Know. but cat noir doesnt want marinette to lose her memories! but People Know. the conclusion was they have to talk to chloe abt how to navigate paparazzi. this is my chloe-and-marinette-could-be-friends agenda. ok i think thats EVERYTHING. if u read all that godspeed, drink water. OH. FINAL THOUGHT. ADRIAN HAD LONG BEAUTIFUL HAIR WHICH IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ALL OF THIS. he had model-brand stubble and sharper teeth than he should.

sometimes I’m peeved that tumblr increased the character limit for asks to be higher than 500 characters, and other times I get

1k word asks about miraculous ladybug dreams, and I think that’s beautiful

I do unironically love the part about Chloe helping Marinette navigate paparazzi, rip to her canon character development

[transexualpirate]

im being so normal about this. anyways let's go to episode five aka second to last

first of, straight up, what do you MEAN "YEAR ONE"? HOW LONG ARE THEY GONNA STAY IN THIS FUCKING TRAIN HANG ON

is this happening parallel to the other siblings or does timeline travelling not count time. im asking because i want to know if klaus is still buried alive IM SO WORRIED ABOUT HIM IS HE EVER GONNA CATCH A BREAK? HE'S BEEN ABUSED BY HIS PATERNAL FIGURE, TRAINED AS A CHILD SOLDIER, HAUNTED BY GHOSTS, TORTURED, FOUGHT IN A WAR, FOUGHT ADDICTION AND HOMELESSNESS, SURVIVED THE APOCALYPSE LIKE THREE OR FOUR TIMES IDK IVE LOST COUNT AND NOW HE'S BEING ESSENTIALLY TORTURED AGAIN

meanwhile five and lila are. in a fucking train

i just saw the name of the episode BACK. THE FUCK. UP. HOW LONG?

squints. is this gonna be their excuse to make lila/five a thing. it better not be.

y e a r t h r e e .

i dont like the way they're looking at each other. I DON'T LIKE THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING ST EACH OTHER.

they're shaving five because aidan can't grow a beard because he's not even 20 yet

are they eating rotten pig meat? wait that has a name. pig meat i mean. that's pork right

Y E A R F I V E .

NOOOOOOO DON'T LOOK AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOO DON'T CUDDLE TO SLEEP. noOOOOOO

YEAR SIX ......

KLAUUSSSSDNNNNFNFNNFNRNFNFNRN FFCUKKKKKK

"please don't leave me please don't leave me" what if i killed myself

"why is this happening to me" DUCKINGBFHH.G HELL

viktor and reginald petty fighting over the song i love viktor so much beat his ass boy

kill this old white guy. please. ive never asked you for anything before. just kill him it would be so easy

im glad they're sort of addressing viktor's trauma at least lol

reginald's car plate says hermes lol

wow lots of dead birds for some reason. were birds more affected than other animals ?

this situation is very reversed to season one when it comes to ben and viktor lol. i mean with the "my traumatized brother is accidentally and unknowingly causing the apocalypse and what im seeing and feeling cannot be trusted and i will lash out and claim my siblings just can't stand it that im finally happy"

I HATE REGINALDDDDDDDDD

i cant believe diego and luther are falling for this it's honestly sad. like im not used to cringing but it was hard holding it back just now. no offense but damn.

i can't believe luther is being the voice of reason in this............

six years five months and two days and they haven't fucked so i think we're in the clear. they're just good friends and im happy for them. i mean except for the whole stuck outside of your own timeline thing but im glad they're getting along. :)

"she's the lock and he's the key" hmmmhmfjf i deeply dislike the imagery this evoked in me.

KLAAUUUUDJHDDSSSSDBDBDNNDNDNFJFJJRJRJDNNDFUUUUUUUUUUUUUCJJJJJJJJJKKKK

GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST DOG GHOST IM GONNA CRY

COME ON THUNDERBOLT YOU CAN DO ITTTTT

allison is kind of scary i hope she kills those guys

claire looking at her mom like :O she can do that ????

allison seeing the sort of place he visits :(

ALLISON NO YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TO HELP OH NOOOOOO

the fucks a ballbuster

holy shit do not let claire in a place like this oh my god

YESSS CLAIREEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCK YESH FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH im sorry claire had to see this but im also so happy it happened :)

im sorry but i don't really see diego as a family guy ngl i just don't think this is a good arc for him. but idk

oh he learned punjabi that's so cute. he knows at least three languages then i like that

I DON'T LIKE THE ROMANTIC SONG. WHY ARE THEY PLAYING A ROMANTIC SONG

"when the snow comes" YOU'LL BE OUT OF THERE WHEN THE SNOW COMES SWEETIE!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL NOT STAY THERE LONG RIGHT. RIGHT???????? RIGHT!!!!??????????

WHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYY ARE YOU TWO HOLDING EACH OTHER

am i the only one viscerally disgusted by this please don't do this pleasepleasepleaseplease

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is so uncomfortable im going to cry i don't even want to look at them

EEEUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGEGG

gene's hair is braided lol

i can't believe luther is being mildly competent damn

nnneeeeevvermind. forget i said anything

i think he can beat them in a fight. my money's in luther

i was right :)

monkey man wearing a g string in the cia building

"were you giving ribbons a lap dance" "kinda?"

why are their clothes so easily tearable . not that im complaining. im really not. at all

WHERE DID THE CAT COME FROM?

ouchie. that was brutal the thing with the stapler m inspired by five huh. and luther is Still wearing a g string while diego is shirtless. because of course he is. of course they are

JIGGLY TITTIES

OMG LUTHER AND DIEGO BONDING!!!!!!! RARE BUT GORGEOUS SIGHT

stop showing me five/lila and show me klaus . pplease .. .

she's his dolores this time and i hate it. like a lot. almost as much as i hate reginald. not as much but almost as much

DON'T FUCKING CALL HER LOVE EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW

BROTHER EUGHHHH

and i thought luther/allison was bad...

nOOOOOOO BAD CHOICE TELL HER TELL HER TELL HER WHY AREN'T YOU TELLING HER YOU FOUND A WAY OUT IM GOING TO CRY PLEASE TELL HER

how many times has klaus died and came back i wonder

"nobody's coming for you"

omg did he make thunderbolt corporeal or at least audible? because that's cool as fuck

"claire bear" what if i cried for three hours nonstop

"y-you came back for me"

he's sobbing and im sobbing with him

thunderbolt is my favorite character and i stand by it

lila is absolutely correct. this ISN'T real. NONE OF IT IS REAL. it's just SURVIVAL.

viktor's powers used to be blueish white now they're the color of fire....... very cool very interesting

i don't CARE that reginald was marginally decent ONCE i still hate all versions of him forever. i cannot stress enough how much i dont give a shit. i will hate him forever and ever PERIOD.

what kind of freaky ass fitting room is this ive never seen this before

why is she ecloding if ben looks normal?

OHHHH SO THATS ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS'S GUY'S ROLE

OR. JEAN'S ROLE ????? HANG ON

OKAY I WOULD LIKE AN EXPLANATION PLEASE IF POSSIBLE

she's like supernatural's shapeshifters

she? he. they¿ it. it?

WHAT IS THIS HOW THE EPISODE ENDS??? NOT COOL

SPOILERS AHEAD first impressions of s4 (aka the last season) of tua no i haven't finished the episode yet but i wanna talk

what do you MEAN there's only six episodes im going HAM

luther is a stripper now. that's great. i love that for him. i love him. not so easy now is it luther. space little boy. i love this stupid stupid man he's trying so hard

BEN WAS IN JAIL FOR SCAMMING PEOPLE OH MY GOD oh my god oh my god??????? BELOVED,

"u n c l e k l a u s"

klaus is staying with allison and claire and he's paranoid now the poor thing.... i love him so much....... he's so worried about his nephew....... babye............

he's scared of CIGARETTES now. Okay.

JEROME?????

you could pick ANY name you wanted and you landed on JEROME???????

"and i was involved in the kennedy assassination" "speak your truth"

"your faith in me is undeserving" that's the klaus i know and love now go to therapy please

they All should be in therapy, really

"he's germaphobic now. and incredibly sober"

klaus&claire is the duo i didn't know i needed but now i cant live without. look at them go. they're family.

ALLISON IS VAPING NOW?????

"STONED"? WEED PEN???? ALLISON IS THAT A WEED PEN

WHAT HAPPENED

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[astranne]

I've thought too long and hard about it. Tighnari and Albedo ik i said Diluc but THEIR DYNAMIC 🙁

Imagine they meet on a research team (modernly speaking) and they're paired up and they start talking and get to know eachother sm better and decide to stay in contact

Science nerd duo >

Tighnari asking Albedo for help with his plant creations cause Albedo can help. And Albedo asking Tighnari to help research Dendro reactions and he brings Collei to meet Klee 🙁🙁🙁

Albedo working his damn ass off to find at least a medication for Collei to feel better and for it to slow down a considerable rate.

ALBEDO TELLING KLEE TO BE CAREFUL WITH COLLEI SO SHE DOESNT GET HURT 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

Tighnari bundling Collei up in like 30 snow coats because he doesnt want her feeling stiff (shes stiff anyways cause he put 50 scarfs on her).

Tighnari would be so helpful in Dragonspine too since he has really good hearing he would be able to hear an avalanche and hear if Fatui are coming or if monsters are ahead.

Collei and Klee going to Starsnatch Cliff or playing in Diluc's winery (them drinking grape juice and having a sleepover🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁)

Tighnari and Albedo staying up super late and passing out and Collei and Klee making them breakfast. Burnt, unseasoned, and probably on fire but at least the coffee's good.

I HUST LOVE THE POTENTIAL PLATONIC FANILY THEY HAVE GOING ON 🙁🙁🙁🙁 LIKE KLEE CALLING TIGHNARI BIG BROTHER AND ALBEDO GETTING JEALOUS AND COLLEI HAVING TO CHEER HIM UUUPPPP IM GONNA CRY

-🪶(Sobbing)

FISCHL BRAINROT TIME-

very sorry it took me so long, but i forgot to finish this and post it adfbsdsf ANYWAYS more brainrot under the cut as always

science nerd duo <3 generally, nerd duo <33

random thought, but imagine them meeting as kids, or like,,, young teenagers- or just, tighnari meeting a younger, naive albedo who is still with his master and tighnari teaches him more about the plants in teyvat, while albedo rambles about alchemy-

anywhore, yes, tighnari never asks for help, not a single person besides albedo. because tighnari knows that albedo WILL be able to help him, he knows that albedo will always find a solution. with others... he's not that sure. tighnari just trusts albedo and albedo trusts tighnari too <33

also, collei and klee would have such a beautiful friendship because i said so. klee wants to go fish blasting again and nothing will stop her but- collei thinks fish blasting will hurt not only the fish but also other animals and the nature so klee will never do it again

(jean would like to know what sorcery collei used)

klee is now the bestest friend of collei and will take super duper care of her, since she's a knight. and she will also protect collei from her super mean sickness. and to cheer her up, she will never go fish blasting again because that makes collei sad.

yes.

and while collei and klee run around in mondstadt (because amber is busy as outrider and klee wants to show her new friend around in her home (she will show collei the best places which also include the big kitchen in the giant house of master diluc (where they're getting spoiled by the maids and eating cookies)), albedo and tighnari work on a medication for collei, together with the help of barbara (since she's a healer) and sucrose. they're close to something that can slow the sickness down, but didn't find a true cure yet.

but albedo promises to find it for collei and collei believes him (she thinks that besides tighnari, albedo is probably the smartest person she knows, even tho she knows many people from the akademiya)

ALSO, diona meeting collei and them bonding together with amber as bow girls yes please! they also steal venti away and go with him on an adventure, trying to find chests and the animals and plants you can normally find in mondstadt. they also meet razor, bennett and fischl and it's just this random, big ass group walking around in mondstadt, scaring the fatui and monsters away. venti is the responsible adult (for once) and actually stays sober because these children are very chaotic.

and at the end of the day, he takes them back to dragonspine where abledo and tighnari are already waiting for them.

also, collei meeting lisa again and getting adopted by her and jean (she is now known as the daughter of the true love pair in mondstadt (we believe in a power lesbian couple)) and tighnari running from dragonspine because his big brother sense were tingling. he will and can fight lisa and will win. (and if he's close loosing he just calls his friends from sumeru who love collei with all their heart) collei is a sumeru child, not a mondstadt child and she won't get stolen away.

collei just runs in the chaos and spends her day with amber <3

ALSO- the little family with albedo, klee, tighnari and klee is just aisdfasjdbf CUTE. (this is also me rooting for dense boys because i believe that albedo has a crush on tighnari and doesn't know what to do with this and actually thinks he's sick) while tighnari tries not to die every time albedo smiles-

yes, klee and collei and their nerd dads who are crushing on each other but will probably never end up together because they're dense af

OKAY BUT NOW- now i want cyno randomly showing up because he's crushing on tighnari too and wants his fox boi back in sumeru so he can (secretly) court him and stake his claim (because WHY is tighnari so dense???) but then hears how tighnari and albedo practically live together in dragonspine with their kids and cyno is like: "NO, NO THIS IS A NIGHTMARE-" and then runs to mondstadt only to find out that they are in fact living together but not because of the reason he thought. (he actually feels kind of bad but then he sees how albedo and tighnari act around each other and he agressivly tries to court tighnari back to sumeru, while trying to find a cure for collei on his own (he fails lmao) WHILE also trying to shake off this random mondstadt menaces who are also known as children. (razor doesn't like this man who looks similar to him (he smells weird (he just smells like the desert and razor never smelt that smell)), bennett doesn't like him too because razor doesn't like him, fischl distrusts him because her friends do and diona just dislikes him because she's a cat and is picky about her friends) and then there is also klee. klee who always tries to blow him up because she has to blast something that doesn't hurt 'collei's animals and flowers' and appartently he's a good target.

PHEW okay, that kinda escalated lmao

but yes, now i have tighnari x albedo brainrot, with cyno crushing on tighnari and doing everything to get him back to sumeru while the children of mondstadt + collei just create chaos <33

thanks again for sending this <33