#anyways i'm done ranting so have a nice day :)

[djsangos]

//oh yeah also it took being put on the B lane at work today for me to finally figure out that several of the medications i'm on can cause heat intolerance 🙃 would've been nice to know that. before. i started feeling sick as fuck after only an hour going in and out.

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[sealovinq]

i need friends /gen (slight rant in tags)

[str4wb3rrysw3etheart]

HII!!

SOOO.. i decided to start writing!! For the eltingville club! (They would hate me but shh..) I ran out of fics in a day.. so I'm doing God's work and supplying 🫡 (i actually have experience writing fics but got logged out of that accouht... and it was a different Fandom so good luck)

Anyway enough of my background stuff, here's fem! dating headcannons for all of the eltingville boys, plus a poly one 👅

Cw! SFW BUT SUGGESTIVE STUFF SAID BEYOND THIS POINT! Like lowkey could ne nsfw to someone but not to me.. Bill is still kinda a misogynist, but nicer. Pete is a little freak. I have a small preference for writing bill ... so sorry if his is longer 💔 pete has little siblings , poly is shorter bc I ran out of ideas 💔

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Bill

♡He .. to put it nicely sucks at most things. He's never done this before! Give him a break.. he gifts you small things from time to time that corelate to your interests, saying something like "here women god .."

♡He hates the club seeing you. He'll brag about you sure, but he doesn't want their filthy eyes to see you. He knows where they'd be looking

♡He isn't the best at affection so he'll normally just keep his arm around you, or hand on your thigh. He doesn't know what women like be nice to him

♡Will rant for HOURS about his interests, if you share some, he'll then quiz you about the lore , calling you fake if you mess up. He's a "Name five characters" type of man..

♡He starts to shower and use chapstick more, brushes his hair, the whole nine yards. But only if he knows you're coming to see him. He doesn't find showering necessary

♡Tries to be a manly macho man (he's failing). He wants you to rely on him because "that's a man's job" , even if you end up having him rely on you..

♡He dreams about you. In starteck outfits, in starwars, saving you from the big bad guy, he can't stop! Sometimes, if he's feeling nice, he'll look away from any boob's that the guys end up showing on movies.

♡Has a small staring problem.. he can't help it! Tits that are all his? And aren't imaginary? Jackpot! He's a pervert I'm sorry!

Pete

♡He is definitely always horny.. groping is his love language.

♡Shows you SO many horror movies, and purposely tries to scare you so he can seem 'manly' and cuddle you better

♡He LOVES watching you squirm, knowing you're so vurnable and grossed out/uncomfortable, it does something, but he will stop whatever movie he's watching if it gets too far

♡Will struggle with romance, like he doesn't wanna be seen doing basic normie shit. He wants any gifts or romantic gestures to be special... which normally ends up with a concerning amount of fake? Blood covering the both of you.

♡Loves to watch you cook, and I mean LOVES it. He loves watching you in an apron or even just clothes doing things like a house wife, he loves it.

♡Good with some kids.. (ex his little siblings) but leave him alone with them and you're ASKING for trauma for those poor kids.

♡If you're mentally ill? Great! He loves it, He's into some weird things.. but if you genuinely need comfort he'll try

♡Halloween is sacred to him and you WILL do matching costumes or he will ignore you for the whole night

Josh

♡One of the softer ones out of the boys

♡Everything and Everyone else is so mean amd rough , that he just wants both of you to be sweet and cuddle, he wants you to love him just as much as he loves you

♡He'll banter with you, but will never try to go too far, insecure that you'll leave him.

♡He only yells if he's very mad, he sucks at apologizing though.. so good luck on that part

♡He is so used to everyone being against him, that if you are just on his side, he's head over heels

♡He can't fight for the life of him, the other boys being the only thing that's as weak as him. But he will certainly threaten anyone who's mean to you

♡Gets embarrassed very easily, and tries to best to hide it, point it out and he gets even worse.. he was probably staring at your tits or something

♡He actively tries to have better hygiene for you, and his mom LOVES you for it. She thinks your a saint sent to help her son, and so you are very loved in that house.

Jerry

♡He is definitely the nicest out of all the boys, being gentle, almost treating you like a figure, something to be protected, but one that actually is a person!

♡Definitely rants about future plans in D&D to you, however if you play, he tries not to spoil it, push him and he'll crack though.

♡Loves for you to help him act out the scenes he plans , so he knows if they flow right

♡He loves to get you little gifts, and hide them around where you'll find them.

♡He may be sweeter but he's still like the other boys , has a tendency to whine when under pressure, and a HORRIBLE decision maker, just make them for him atp

♡He tries to be respectful about you and your body, not wanting to upset you, this is the only girl who has ever looked at him, he's so glad for this

♡Cosplays couples with you, like link and Zelda, peach and Mario, ect ect

♡Blushes easily, but LOVES to see you blush, just watching your cheeks tint from something he did? Exhilarating

Poly

♡I imagine, they all date you, they are NOT dating eachother, that's gay. (I'm bi dw)

♡Giving attention is like rolling a dice, get a low roll and they all decide that now NEED attention or they will DIE.

♡They all love to make you voice whatever girl they end up saving in d&d

♡They all will whine like toddlers if you can't make it to a meeting

♡If you all are watching a movie, you will be in the middle, no ifs, ands, or buts, about it.

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.

.

.

And suddenly my ideas ran away

[strangersteddierthings]

"What's wrong?" Robin asks, bumping her arm against his as she joins him leaning against the counter, staring out the front door of Family Video.

Steve doesn't bother to lie. Robin would know, she always does. "I'm not sure wrong is the right word, but it's, it's something."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Yeah," he says, taking a quick glance around. It's just after 11pm on Saturday. They've got another hour of work before they can officially close, but Hawkins closes down at 9. The store is empty currently, and since they're facing the door, they'll know if someone comes in. "I just don't know- I don't-"

"Gather your words. Speak when you're ready. I'm not going anywhere," Robin says, and it speaks volumes that she didn't call him dingus. Steve's never upset by the nickname, not really, but sometimes, when the conversation is heavy, he can't deal with nicknames. Especially not ones that are meant teasingly now but started as an insult.

"I feel- I feel ungrateful and, like, selfish, because I'm... I'm not happy with Eddie," Steve says, then immediately frowns because that's not right. It's not wrong, either, but it's. "I'm not unhappy with Eddie. I love him. I love him so much, Robin."

"I know you do. It's disgusting."

"And I got into this relationship knowing what Eddie's like. I love him 'cause of those things, not in spite of-"

"You don't have to convince me you love him."

"Right. Right. It's just. It's like, I thought, I don't know, that I wouldn't have to always be the guy?" Steve says, and it's followed by such a long pause that he looks over. It startles a laugh out of him at how much Robin looks like him right now. Confused, brow furrowed and mouth slightly open. That's his perplexed expression, and it's mirrored on Robin's face now.

Well. Not now because he laughed so she's glaring at him.

"Sorry. It was like looking into a mirror for a moment there."

She wrinkles her nose at him and says, "What do you mean 'always be the guy'?"

He lets out a sigh. "I just mean- Eddie's the first guy I've ever dated. And there was, like, unwritten rules when dating girls. Don't give me that face, I already know the rant about straights and their het-ro-norman-whatever-"

"Heteronormativity."

"Yes, that. I know it's bad, working on unlearning it, etcetera, etcetera. Can I just get through this using the words I do have?"

"Yes. Sorry."

He waves off her apology and continues, "So, the unwritten but absolute rules of straight dating. The guy asks. The guy plans the date. He pays, if it's something that requires money. He gets the door, offers his jacket if it's cold, gives the flowers and chocolates on Valentines Day and- sorry. The guy does all that. I do all that. And I just. I want to not, not have to?"

Robin's eyes soften and she gives a sad smile. "Eddie doesn't do those things?"

Steve frowns. "Not- he's done some of those things but it's not... It's never been romantic. Never felt... intentionally romantic. Which is why I feel so ungrateful and selfish. 'Cause Eddie's not a romantic. Not like I am. And I shouldn't expect him to be!"

She frowns. "But you don't expect him to be."

"I mean, yeah. I don't. Which just makes this worse, right? Because Eddie tries. In his own way. And I'm still..."

"What does Eddie do to try?"

"He loans me jackets when I'm cold. And it's- it's like a throwback to the upside down. He'll fold it all nice and then throw it at me full force. Like with the battle vest," Steve smiles at the memory, despite his sour mood.

"That doesn't sound very romantic. That sounds like an inside joke. He could do that same thing while not dating you and it wouldn't be weird."

"Can't an inside joke be romantic?"

Robin nods as she turns, back to the counter so she can hop up on it. "Can be. And I guess if you find get pelted in the face by jackets romantic, that's your kink."

"Why do I talk to you?" Steve groans, and Robin shrugs. "Anyway, I guess I just... I want to be the one taken care of, sometimes, but not just when- God, I'm so selfish, aren't I?" He paces away from the counter, running a hand through his hair.

Eddie's a good boyfriend. He listens when Steve rambles about sports and stats, asking questions and actually engages in conversation. He takes care of Steve when a migraine leaves him all but useless; gets him his meds and water and combs his fingers through Steve's hair softly until it lulls Steve to sleep. Eddie pays attention enough to know the little things about Steve that he doesn't say out loud.

"Not just when?" Robin prompts, and Steve realizes he quit talking.

"Not just when I'm hurt. I want doors held for me, and for him to plan a romantic night, either out or in! And I- I want him to give me his jacket by wrapping it around my shoulders like I do for him."

"I'm going to say something, and you aren't allowed to be upset by it."

Steve nods.

"You have to tell him. Eddie's not gonna know you want these things unless you say so."

He nods again, because he knows that. He does. It's just... "I got with him knowing he wasn't a romantic person. I don't want- I don't know how to say it without making it sound like I want him to change. Or make him feel like he's not enough, or that he's a bad boyfriend for not having done this and-"

"Steve! Jesus, now who's the mirror? It's Eddie. He loves you. He'll listen. Even as you fumble your way through an explanation. A conversation is not the make or break of this relationship."

Steve swallows even though it feels like there's stones piling up in his stomach. A single conversation broke his last relationship, but Eddie's not Nancy.

"Yeah. You're right. I think I'm just... I'm afraid of making Eddie feel that same way Nancy made me feel, when she called us bullshit. I was blinded-sided by it all and I don't, I can't do that to Eddie."

"You won't. 'Cause this situation is different. You love Eddie, and Eddie loves you, and that's real and true. I think it would hurt Eddie more to think there's this whole other category of shit he could be doing for you, but isn't, 'cause he doesn't even know you'd like it, much less want it."

Steve nods as she speaks. It's all true, and he feels less like there are stones in his stomach. "Thanks, Bobbin. I don't- I might give it a few days before I talk to Eddie about it, but I will."

"You better, dingus," she hopes off the counter and looks at the clock, groaning when she sees it's still not midnight. "Think Keith will kill us if we close early?"

"No way. He'd have to cover all our shifts until he can hire replacements. We're too valuable to him to die."

-

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @skepsiss @afewproblems

[sexilene]

I FEIN FOR A FULL FIC ABOUT PRINCESS!READER WRITTING IN HER DIRAY S'SO CUTE LIKE

yeesss OFC!! ignore any mistakes sorrriii ˚ ༘✶ ｡˚ ⁀➷ princess!reader w - mentions of sex, p in v, rafe making it up to you through sleepy sex!!

your nighttime self-care routine sometimes included needing to write in your diary the things you wouldn't dare say out loud. you sat on your side of the bed with the dim warm light illuminating the room while rafe took a shower. often doing all your skincare, shower stuff, and oral care before rafe so that after you can let it all marinate before sleeping. you grab your pink fluffy pen from your nightstand to start your journaling. 

dear diary, today was so totally not great, rafe ended up leaving me this morning to play golf with the boys even after he promised to take me to martino's to get some tea cakes that i've been craving for the past week!! AND on top of that, i missed a hair appointment since rafe had the car all day and he's like my boyfriend chauffeur!! this blows!! i hate him and he will not be given kisses or sex until further notice. 

rafe walks out of the bathroom, with a towel around his waist, his hair all wet, and droplets of water running down his muscles. the view almost makes you forget why you were pissed at him in the first place, but then you quickly snap out of it when you remember you are supposed to be "ranting" in your diary. 

"whatcha doin'?" rafe asks, making you look over at him, he's put on some comfy pajama pants and sat down on his side of the bed, leaning over to look at what you are writing. 

"i'm doing self-care, it's my de-stress diary." 

"why do you need a diary? that's what i'm here for, tell your secrets to me." he shrugs and leans closer to really read what's on the pages. 

"nuh uh, somethings i would say aren't lady-like." you bring the diary to your chest to prevent him from reading it. 

"hey, lemme see. i'm basically entitled to read your diary, it's a boyfriend's right."

"no baby that's just an invasion of privacy." you giggle which makes him huff.

"okay well we promised no secrets, so give it here." he reaches for the diary, you roll your eyes and give up, handing it to him. 

"fine, but i should not be held accountable for what i wrote, its girl stuff."

"aww shit baby, i forgot about martino's, i'm sorry," he remembers as he beings to read what you wrote. "no sex or kisses until further notice? that's fuckin' ridiculous kid." he furrows his eyebrows while he's reading. 

"mm-hmm, it's not like you'd notice anyways since you've been so "busy" recently." you exaggerate and roll your eyes.

"don't roll your eyes at me, fix your attitude." he points at you scoldingly which only makes you pout and reach for the diary again. 

"if you think you really need this then fine, but no more talking shit about me in there. use your words." he closes the little book and hands it back to you. 

"i did." 

"you know what i mean." 

"i can't say it to your face." you shake your head and place the diary on your nightstand. 

"yes, you can." he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer to him, your back to his bare chest. 

"you smell really good." you sigh, wishing you could just give in and climb on top of him.

"thank you, baby. so do you." he kisses your bare shoulder, slipping down the thin strap of your silky nightgown. 

"but i'm still mad at you."

"rant to me then."

you sigh again, "you forgot that today was supposed to be our day, you suck and if you really loved me you wouldn't have done that." you exaggerate again. 

"i know princess, i know, and i'm sorry but i do love you so don't even start." your boyfriend chides, look back at him and he takes the opportunity to kiss the corner of your mouth. 

"no rafe, no kissing."

"don't be brat, i'll make it up to you. take you to martino's first thing tomorrow and i'll take you to do your hair, how'bout i fuck you to sleep nice n' slow right now? hmm?" he places his hand on the side of your face to bring you closer so he can press a kiss to your cheek. 

"mmhm ohkay, be gentle." you nod, rafe just grins and attacks you with soft kisses all over your lips, jaw and neck.

"just relax baby, lay down i'll do all the work." rafe extends his arm to reach over to your nightstand light to turn it off, now the only light coming in is the moonlight streaming in through the balcony windows. you lay back against the mattress, head hitting the pillows and rafe lifts the thin dress above your hips. never really wearing panties under your nightgown while you sleep, he rubs your bare pussy with the pads of two of his big fingers. rafe pulls himself out, also not wearing any boxers under the plaid pajama pants to sleep, and lines himself up to slowly push in, you wine and dig your nails into his biceps. 

"shshsh....you're fine." your boyfriend soothes as he begins to slowly and gently stretch you out, giving you a few wet kisses on your neck. the way he smells and feels on top of you makes you feel so warm and sleepy, that your eyes begin to fall closed as he thrusts into you very softly.

"i love you," you whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck to make you feel closer to him even though he's balls deep inside you right now. 

"i love you more princess, jus' fall asleep, i've got you."

[king-spite]

update on this!!! it went well lmao :]

so after lots of thinking i decided i'm gonna come out as trans this college year (to classmates, teachers, etc) and when i tell you i'm TERRIFIED🧍

[frostblightsunbite]

Sketch page of the Young Justice core four!

I numbered them in the order I did them in, which gives a very clear indication for when I switched my style.

Rant under cut :)

This would have been done like four or five days ago but I cannot for the life of me draw a fucking running pose holy shit. like the mean for time taken for each drawing would have been maybe 30 minutes, but no 6 was a BITCH and took me maybe five hours alone, but tbf, half of that was spent lamenting.

Btw these aren't, like, the full sketches, after 6 I started to draw the silhouettes of the poses first and then went over it in red. Also, references used for 1,3, and 9. Why didn't I use a reference for number 6 if it was so hard? I gave up. I still think it should have been pushed more but eh.

Posting will probably be slow until maybe October, because I just got into university, for an art course, which is pretty neat ngl. so yippee or whatever.

The sketches of Bart are my favourite and that upsets me. not because I don't like him but because the poses took me so long. He does, however, get the privelige of colour, mostly because he looked super empty without it. I tried giving the others their red as well, but it was too much and Tim looked like Dick, so....

I'm not really a fan of these in general, but I'm posting them anyway, because eventually I get to see progress. much happier with the style I used for the last 4 (sorry Kon), but they don't exactly look young, more like late-ish teenagers.

I'm pretty happy with the one character interaction that I forced myself to do, though, so that's nice, even if they're not really doing anything.

I think I messed up Cassie's outfit by accidentally combining two of them, so oops.

Shoes still suck. I hate them.

Theres a lot to tag now holy shit-

[callme-naomi]

There's Something on Your Lip - Oh, that's Me!

Kento had just discovered his newfound liking for croissants and you decided to bake it. Tried as hard as you did to be silent, he eventually caught you in the kitchen and while he originally pretended he didn't see anything - 'I'm here for a glass of water' - he later leaned on the kitchen counter.

"You look like you could use some company."

"What I could use," you scowled, trying to hide it from him by facing him, your back to the floury mess, "is some privacy."

"I'm afraid I can't give that. I know everything in this house, inside and out."

You snorted, and he smirked. "Then you should know the way back to our bedroom. Go on, scoot."

"There's so much I have to tell you today. I need to, what's your term for it? Rant."

"Or yap. Then wait for me in our cozy bed."

He leaned his cheek on his hand. "I'm afraid we won't be talking much once we're in bed."

"Valid point," you managed, with burning cheeks, "go read your book and I'll be back before you know it."

"Been there, done that. What I do know is that it's been fifteen minutes and you still haven't come inside." He sighed, before lifting his elbows off the counter. "I could use some company too."

"Is that your way of saying you want me?" you still didn't turn.

"And if I said it was?"

"Then I'd tell you to wait."

"For how much longer? It's overtime now."

You raised a hand to your lips. "Sh. Don't be impatient, it's not very you."

"It's not very you either to deny me the pleasure of your company."

You smirked now. "Now, now, who's being greedy?"

"Can't a man be greedy for his wife?"

You finally gave in. "Okay, greedy husband. Come in, but don't look."

"That I can do," he came inside and crossed his legs against the kitchen counter, leaning his back on it. "I'll keep my sights on you anyway."

"That's it," you cooed, going back to your work. "Eyes on me, pretty boy. Now, tell me about your day."

"It was just my excuse to have you come to me."

"Then we can still find something to talk about! Or you can go back to your room..."

"Our room. And the former sounds nice."

You continued working with the flour, giving them a perfect shape while he talked to you. At one point, he fell silent and you turned back, slightly ashamed at boring him, to see if he was asleep but he was still watching your every movement with adoration.

"Let me help you."

"Alright, alright. Come on up." You rolled your eyes when he came up behind you, but you still loved it all the same.

As you were clearing the first batch, you turned back with your hands full of flour and weren't aware of him practically trailing after you. Bumping into him, your hand rubbed against his cheek.

"Oh!" You looked up to see his cheekbone smeared with flour, and you immediately began apologizing until you saw a smile crack through his face.

Just as you let out a relieved laugh, you felt his hand rub against your face, and while you quickly turned your cheek away, his hand smeared over your lips, coating them white, and that's when the house rang with you two's laughter.

"What was that for?" you wagged a finger at him. "Mine was a mistake!"

"It's your punishment for keeping me waiting."

"Here, let me help wipe it," you come closer, but since both your hands were coated with flour, you rubbed your cheek against his, slightly clearing the flour.

"To show my gratitude for your help," he leaned in and then gave you a small kiss on the lips. "There. It's gone."

You smiled up at him while you put the croissants' dough to get softer. While he opened the fridge to find something, you called, "I guess you could call that 'sweet vengeance', right?"

"It's best served cold though," he came closer to you with his hands covering each other, and then with you turning back, he shoved the ice cubes down your shirt. He ducked just as you leapt back with a yelp.

"I'll have you pay for this!"

"Okay, okay, come here," he barely suppressed his laughs while you pinned him with a look of distrust, trying to get the ice out from behind you. "I promise, I'll get the ice out."

With no other option available, you edged closer, and then he crept his hands up your shirt's hem, their warmth having you relax slightly.

"You seem to enjoy this," his voice was a whisper close to your ear.

"So do you," you answered, "you don't seem to plan to take your hands out anytime soon."

Just as he pulled them, you grabbed his wrists. "I didn't tell you to remove them. Though, it's unfair I can't get my hands on you."

"I won't let you."

"Wanna challenge that, pretty boy?"

"If that's what you want, beautiful girl."

And well, the next morning, the kisses and marks on your neck were obvious indication of who won the challenge.

Hi there! This is for day two's prompt Cooking! (If y'all saw the unedited version earlier no you didn't)

[justwhisperingfantasies]

 @fanficocean Coffee Shop: The barista is cupid and makes people fall in love because they’re bored. @alphabetquest Prompt: Coffee Shop @fandom-free-bingo Square: Accidental hand touching

Inspired By @zepskies - Coffee Order Headcanons

Pairing: Ben aka Soldier Box -x- Reader

Warnings: Language, Fluff (ish), Ben being Ben.

Ratings: Mature

Summary: What the heck happened at that coffee shop?

Word Count: 1,380

@copperboom82 Thank you for being my beta. Also for all your love and support 🤍

My Master List

My Tag List

“You know, you didn’t have to come,” you snapped, interrupting Ben’s insufferable bitching.

His head turned to you as you pushed the gearshift into park, giving you that smartass smirk. “And miss you in your element?” He took a long drag off his cigarette. “I think not sweetheart.” The smirk returned after he blew the smoke in your direction.

You let out a hearty sigh. “Let’s just get this over with,” you said, reaching for the door handle. “And don’t think I’m gonna wait around for you to finish that damn thing.”

“Oh, I know your ass ain’t that nice.” He winked, walking fast to catch up to you as he flicked the bad habit out of his fingers.

You pointed your finger at him, stepping onto the sidewalk. “Pot,” you began, then pointed back at yourself, “kettle.”

He smirked, opening the door for you. “After you,” he mocked as he gestured you inside, making you scoff a laugh. “Hello Ladies.” You glanced over your shoulder as you heard his voice in time to see him wink at the two older women walking through.

“Such a gentleman,” you heard one of them whisper, and you pursed you lips together holding back a laugh.

“See, I can be nice,” Ben teased, returning to your side.

You chuckled when you noticed him checking one of the women out. “Yea, when you wanna get your dick wet.”

“Still counts,” he said as you stepped into the back of the line, which wasn’t far from the door. “I can’t believe people actually like this shit this much.”

Your brows furrowed as you turned your whole body towards him. “Says the guy that said he wanted coffee…”

“Yes coffee, not this vanilla bean latte and fruit pink drink bullshit,” he gestured to the menu hanging above the counter. You exhaled through you lips, making them vibrate as his ranting started again. “And what the fuck is oat milk?”

“It’s a milk alternative, Ben.”

“Back in my day, there was no such thing, and we sure as hell didn't put it in our fucking coffee.

“Are you done?”

“I’m just sayin’,” he followed you as the line moved. “What the hell do you need a milk alternative for anyway?” he asked in a mocking tone.

“Because, some people are lactose intolerant…”

He scoffed a loud laugh. “But it’s fucking milk.”

You gave the elderly woman a smile with warm cheeks as she turned around, her eyebrows knitted at Ben.

“Ben, you're out in public. Could you at least pretend to be civilized?”

“Ya know who’s lactose intolerant?” he disputed and your fingertips rubbed circles on your temples. You were pretty sure his answer would not be socially acceptable. “Fucking pussies,” he exclaimed, proving you right. “Pussies are lactose intolerant.”

“Benjamin, you can’t say shit like that,” you hissed when one of the men in front of you cleared his throat.

Ben’s eyes narrowed at you. He hated you calling him Benjamin almost as much as you hated him calling you sweetheart. “Free country sweetheart,” he countered with a smirk

“Yes, but we have been over this - you have to respectful to others.”

He rolled his eyes with a sigh. “Can I ask you something?”

“Would it matter if I said no?” you quipped moving up again.

He lowered his voice. “How the fuck do you get milk out of an almond?”

“So, let me guess… plain ol’ boring black coffee for you?” you snickered trying to change the subject.

“If ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” He smiled at you. "What are you getting?"

"Ha, you think I'm gonna give you ammo to make fun of me now?" You shook you head. "Nuh uh."

He leaned toward you with a grin. "Pussy," he whispered in you ear, making you snort. You cleared your throat as you moved up in line again. "Come on tell me." You sighed. "I promise I wouldn't make fun of you. Cross my heart," he added in a mocking tone.

"Pretty easy to swear on your life when you can't die."

"You have a point." He looked as the menu, biting the inside of his cheek as he pondered. "Lemme guess, that caramel ribbon thing?"

"Frappe."

"Yeah, whatever the fuck that is."

You chuckled. "Wrong."

"Hmm." He rubbed his chin as he read the menu again, and you bit back a smile. "What's a dragon drink? that sounds pretty badass."

"It's the mango dragon fruit refresher with coconut milk," you laughed as you looked over at him giving you a blank stare.

"It's actually pretty tasty, you should try it," the man behind you spoke up.

Ben's brows furrowed as he turned around, "Yeah, and you should try gargling my-"

"Benjamin!"

He rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Thank you for your suggestion." The man nodded as Ben turned back around.

"Good boy," you teased.

Ben let out a belly laugh, making everyone's head turn. The barista working the register caught your attention. Her eyes lingered on him and then shifted to you as she gave you a dampened smile.

"Are you gonna tell me or not?" he asked, stepping forward.

"Fine," you huffed. "I'm getting a salted caramel cream cold brew."

Ben raised his eyebrows as his lips puckered out. "Aw, what you don't like nut milk?" he chuckled as your cheeks turned red from his deliberate phrasing.

You shook your head "I'm not touching that."

"Huh, that's the first time I've heard that." He chuckled again as your cheeks got warmer. "So, what is cold brew?"

"It's coffee that is brewed at room temperature, bolder taste, less acidity, more caffeine. They serve it over ice, you can always get nitro cold brew." You giggled as Ben sighed, lifting his head with his eyes shut.

"Hi, how are you guys today?" the barista greeted as you stepped up to the counter.

"Good, how are you?"

"I'm great," The barista replied in a giddy manner. "So what can I get for this super cute couple?"

A howl of laughter pushed past your lips. "No, no, no, no," you stammered, cheeks blazing. "No, no, we are not a couple."

"Oh, I'm sorry. What can I get for you?" she murmured, you read the text message of everyone's order to her and then gave your own. "And for you sir?"

"Let me try one of those cold brew things," Ben told her, making your jaw drop. "No flavor or cream. Just black."

"Well look at you, trying new things, I'm so proud," you said nudging Ben's arm.

"Shut up," he teased, nudging you back.

Waiting at the pickup counter you heard him sigh, then felt his knee tap the back of yours. "Stop, you child."

"But, I'm bored."

Your attention snapped to the barista as you heard your name. Butterflies stirred in your stomach as Ben's fingers brushed against yours when you both reached for the carrier.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were going to…" you fumbled over your words.

He cleared his throat, "I got it." He gave you a smile, making the butterflies stronger.

"You know, this cold brew shit isn't half bad," he admitted as you punched in the code and held the safe house door open for him.

You giggled, "Ah, well I'm glad you like it."

"Hughie!" Ben yelled handing him his coffee, your eyes followed as he start handing out the other beverages.

"Alright, love." You head turned to Butcher as he stepped beside you. "What the fuck happened at that coffee shop?"

You gave him a scoff. "What do you mean?"

"Yesterday, I had to side between yuns to keep from killin' each other." He took a drag off his cigarette. "And now, he's over there smilin' while you're over here giving him the fuck me eyes of teenager in love."

"Butcher, I think you've finally gone mad." You looked back over to Ben. He raised his cold brew to his lips, scrunching his face at you. You chuckled. "I don't know, I guess he's not as bad as I thought."

Tag List:

@mochminnie @idk6505 @jackles010378 @nightxcreature @kamisobsessed @perpetualabsurdity @wonderland2022 @quietgirll75 @nancymcl @hobby27 @deanwinchestersgirl8734 @deansimpalababy @mandee7 @roseblue373 @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @lmg14 @aand13b @spnaquakindgdom @kr804573 @jtink27

[scribescrawls]

Tarnma AU where Pharma wakes up in the past pre-Cybertronian Civil War right after he dies and still reeling from everything that happened decides he’s going to go kill Tarn before he becomes a problem. Pharma isn’t in the best mindset at the moment understandably and is kind of running on the fumes of a revenge fantasy. Meanwhile poor Damus is just going about his day when he gets knocked out and kidnapped. At first he thinks the Senate has finally come after him (this is before he got empurata’ed). However, this seems not to be the case as his kidnapper, a pretty jet who appears to be a medic according to markings on his wings, is going on about things he’d never done, ranting about things that don’t make sense, and talking about how Damus apparently ruined his life. Pharma doesn’t care about keeping the future stuff a secret cause he’s in the ‘I’m going to kill him anyway so it doesn’t matter if he knows’ mindset.

Meanwhile Damus is like ‘you’ve clearly got the wrong bot, I’ve never done any of that! I don’t even know you!’ But Pharma just goes ‘but you will and I’m not going to let you live to do it a second time.’ Pharma proceeding to monologue all the horrible creative torture methods he plans to put him through before killing him.

Damus is thinking ‘oh this bot is delusional for real’ and is both confused and terrified.

Except Pharma never gets to enact any of it because he has terrible luck and two armed bots break into the abandoned shack in the middle of nowhere that Pharma had taken them to. At first Damus has a small inkling of hope that someone miraculously realized he was kidnapped and is there to save him. Hope plummets into the ground when the two armed bots declare that they are from the Senate and they are here to capture him and take him to get empurata'ed.

The two bots give Pharma a confused look not expecting anyone else to be there, but they're like 'they said no witnesses so kill him too or we can take them both in and they can both go through empurata and we'll just say he was aiding a fugitive'. Pharma is like 'frag no. I'm not dying or having my hands stolen from me a second time!" A fight breaks out and Damus watches Pharma pull out an honest to Primus chainsaw from his arm. It’s kind of sexy and scary at the same time.

Pharma got some mods put into his arm because even if he was going after a version of Tarn who had not become Tarn yet he wasn’t going to take any chances. He’d rather be well armed and over prepared than lacking weaponry when he needs it. He also remembers some of the schematics from his time on Luna 1 and look the chainsaw was kind of useful. Anyway although he was never the best fighter in the Autobots there was probably at least some training he had to go through and all the other stuff that happened in the last timeline. He’s no wrecker, but you pick up a few things after four million years of war. Plus it seems like the Senate didn’t think Damus was too big of a physical threat so had not sent their best. Pharma is holding his own pretty well in the fight considering it’s a two versus one fight. Pharma manages to cut one guy in half killing him before being slammed into the wall by the other one. Pharma transforms one hand and uses one of the syringes that’s filled with a knockout serum to inject the other with it. However, it’s not an instantaneous effect so Pharma is still grappling with the assailant who’s got one of Pharma’s arms pinned to the wall and is trying to push Pharma’s own chainsaw arm toward Pharma’s head.

Pharma to Damus: A little help here would be nice!

Damus: What am I supposed to do?! You tied me to a chair!

Pharma: Use your voice and take this guy out!

Damus: My voice??

Pharma: Yes your voice! Your outlier ability! Kill him before he kills us!

Damus: I don't know how to do that! That's not how my ability works at all! I told you, you have the wrong bot!

Thankfully the drug he’d injected into the other seems to take effect as the bot’s hold grows looser as they try to blink away the dizziness that’s taking hold. Pharma uses the loosening grip to push his arm forward cutting off the assailant’s head.

Pharma is venting hard and taking in any injuries. Most seem to be superficial or minor things that he can repair on his own thankfully.

Pharma, complaining: Of course, I have to do everything around here as usual! Why did I think for one moment you'd be helpful!

Pharma thinking out loud: How did they even find us? We're in the middle of nowhere. Though they seemed surprised I was here so they were clearly tracking you down.

Damus, seeing Pharma appraoch him: What are you doing?

Pharma: Scanning you for any potential tracking devices. I was right you're bugged. It's inside your plating I'll have to surgically cut it out.

Damus: What?! You'll do no such thing!

Pharma: Relax I'm a professional. I'll even put on a dampener so it won't be painful not that you deserve it.

Relax?! How was Damus supposed to relax when the kidnapper who says he wants to kill him says he's going to perform surgery on him. Was he even a real medic?!

Pharma gets tired of Damus' squirming and injects him with something that essentially paralyzes him. Just because Pharma doesn’t like him doesn’t mean he’s going to be accused of subpar work.

Pharma, pulling out the tracking chip and destroying it before skillfully welding everything back good as new: Got it! You can stop crying now I'm already done.

Damus hadn’t noticed he had started crying, but could anyone blame him? He was having one of the worst days of his life. He didn’t even get to listen to the music record he just bought! Which shouldn’t be a priority at all but his life is in shambles and he can’t get the thought out of his head that things will never go back to normal now.

Damus watching with wide optics as Pharma approaches both dead bodies pulling out their brain modules after cutting them open and smashing both brains beyond repair.

Damus: What are you doing?

Pharma: Getting rid of the evidence. If the Senate sent them no doubt they have mnemosurgeons under their employ. Although a dead brain is much harder to extract memories from, it’s still possible to pull information from it if it’s intact. This will make it harder for them to determine what happened here and also hide my involvement.

Damus internally is freaking out cause this bot has obviously killed people before and is even being methodical about covering his tracks.

Pharma: We need to get out of here now.

Damus: I’m not going anywhere with you!

Pharma dryly: Oh would you rather stay here and have the Senate find you? I’m sure the empurata will be lovely.

Well no Damus didn’t want to stay here, but he also didn’t want to go with the delusional jet either.

Pharma: Look I’m not giving you a choice. If they capture you and a mnemosurgeon takes a look in your memory they’ll know I was involved. You’ll be safer from the Senate with me. I’m not going to let them kill you, only I’m allowed to do that.

Seeing as Damus is in no condition to walk since the drug Pharma injected him with still hasn't worn off yet and they can't stay here or the Senate will find them, Pharma lifts him into his arms and carries him princess style to the ship he had bought and hidden away. It's actually a lot easier since Damus is not a huge tank and is shorter and smaller than Pharma in this form.

Damus, internally: Kidnapping and death threats aside, it feels kind of nice to be held.

Damus pls that is not a normal reaction to being kidnapped lol

Pharma basically bought a ship, stocked it with any necessary supplies from food to medical equipment withdrew all his savings and planned to book it off Cybertron before the civil war kicks off. He has no intention of joining the Autobots again considering his bad experiences and he’s also not planning to join the Decepticons. He’s planning to fly off to a remote corner of the world away from the impending war where he can maybe do odd jobs as a medic here and there while doing personal research. He hadn’t planned to leave this early, but technically everything is all stocked and ready to go. There’s one extra passenger, but he has time to kill him later. It’ll be fine.

Except as time passes and Pharma has more time to cool down, Pharma is conflicted about going through with the torture/murder thing because hurting/scaring a bot who clearly remembers none of the stuff that happened isn’t giving him the revenge satisfaction he imagined in his head. He starts pulling the Dread Pirate Robert’s thing similar to the Princess Bride where as they travel together he keeps telling Damus ‘goodnight, I’ll most likely kill you in the morning’, but never does. Rinse and repeat for the next how many years lol.

I think Damus did try a few escape attempts early on and I like to think one of the times he runs into people sent by the Senate to kill him and almost died but gets saved by Pharma who’s kind of grown a bit fond of him and is scolding him for getting hurt/into trouble as he carefully repairs any injuries. And okay yes he’s technically a hostage/prisoner but also no one’s ever really cared about Damus nor shown him so much protectiveness and attention before and it’s a heady thing. He likes the feeling and he wants more of it. And it’s not like he’s really suffering much with Pharma truth be told. He’s never hungry and always has access to food, he has his own room and berth on the ship by now, and once he promises not to try to run off he has more freedom to wander the ship and planets they visit where Pharma sometimes works as a medic. As more time passes they’ve grown closer. They have movie nights and listen to music together sometimes. Damus helps out Pharma as an assistant with his job here and there. He sometimes does inventory or helps move things around either in the temporary clinics they set up on different planets or on the ship. When Pharma is busy with his personal research or working, Damus spends his free time practicing his singing or playing his slowly growing collection of musical instruments most of which were bought for him by Pharma. He also gets better at controlling his outlier ability. He does in fact learn to use his voice to expand the range of his abilities. It had become useful whenever they ran into any unsavory or hostile people and Damus liked being able to use it to protect Pharma the way the other had protected him. Damus isn’t sure if he believes Pharma about the being from the future thing, but sometimes Pharma did know things he really shouldn’t know.

And then Pharma having grown to care about Damus has an attack of conscience and drops the “you can leave now. The Senate has definitely fallen by now and you should be safe to go wherever you want. Though I implore you to heed my warning of avoiding joining either side of our planet’s war. There’s enough money saved up. You can take half of it and it should be enough to start a new and comfortable life somewhere else. But I won’t keep you here with me any longer.” Pharma’s internally like ‘it’s not right to keep him here when technically he hasn’t done anything wrong. I should give him his life back instead of dragging him around the outskirts of the universe with me.’

Meanwhile Damus is like: You abandon Damus? You abandon him like he is scrap? Jail! Jail for Pharma for a thousand years!

Anyway they have an argument. Pharma is like ‘isn’t this what you wanted? You’re no longer a prisoner/hostage you can finally be free to go where you want! Why are you making things more difficult than it needs to be?!’ Because the truth is that Pharma doesn’t want him to go, but the guilt is slowly getting to him.

Meanwhile, Damus is blindsided by Pharma’s sudden announcement. Things had been going well between them. In fact it was going great. He doesn’t understand why Pharma is suddenly pushing him away. Damus is in disbelief going ‘I’m the one making things difficult?!’

Pharma: Why do you even want to stay?

Damus probably drops the ‘I’m in love with you!’ bombshell and Pharma is like ‘you just think you love me but you’re just confused. Me holding you prisoner for so long has messed with your head. Once you leave and meet other people, you’ll realize that.”

Damus just scoffs and is like ‘let’s be honest, I stopped being your prisoner years ago. If I had really wanted to escape I’ve had hundreds of opportunities to do it. Pharma you’re so beautiful and smart. You know so much and you’re right a lot of the time, but when it comes to what I feel you’re wrong. And yes as rare as it is you are sometimes wrong my dear Doctor.’

Damus is like ‘As for why I want to stay? How is it not obvious? I’ve never been happier in my entire life than I have been being by your side! I’ve never felt like I belonged somewhere until then! I have met other people before I met you! And you know what, most of them sucked! You said I can go anywhere I want now, well I want to stay right here with you!’

Damus: If you’re worried I’ll do those things the past me or I suppose future version of me did to you, I won’t! I promise and swear on my spark I won’t!

Pharma: It’s not that. I know you’re different even if some things are also similar or the same. I just want you to have the freedom to choose the life you want

Damus: Okay then I’m free. And I choose to stay here with you. I love you.

Damus, now a bit unsure: Do you not feel the same way?

Pharma: I do. Feel the same way.

Damus, whose been dreaming about this day for Primus knows how long and never been great at waiting: Then stop being an idiot and kiss me already!

Pharma going ‘I’m not an idiot!’ but proceeds to grab Damus and kisses him. They spend the rest of the day smooching, become conjunxes, and live happily ever after.

[jayktoralldaylong]

Their Father: Doffy, I'm sorry.

Doflamingo: You're sorry?

(And in that moment, he remembers their father....taking them from the wealth and privilege they were born into. Telling him to be nice to slaves. Getting their house burnt down by said slaves. So that they were stuck scavenging for food and getting beaten every day by slaves. His mother dies before them without a funeral in a beggars shack. His father begs for the wealthy to save them but they are cast aside. Doffy had to listen to his baby brother cry himself to sleep every night. They lived a life struggling, begging and getting tortured by slaves.)

Rocinate, begs: Doffy wait! He's still our father. He meant no harm. Please Doffy, he's all we have!

Doffy, elder sibling anger boiling in his heart: I don't forgive you.

(He kills their father in front of Rocinate.)

That is the day that Rocinate realises his brother has become a monster, and that he will spend the rest of his life trying to end Doflamingo.

That is the day Doflamingo decides that he will do anything to protect his family. Even if the person he has to shoot down.....is family.

"Doffy was a monster from the start."

I don't believe that. Yes, he was racist and oppressive, he was raised in that environment. When he was taught to be kind, Kindness saw the death and suffering of all the people he loved.

Throughout he asked questions "Why is mother dead? Why am I hungry? Why are we in pain?"

His father never gave a satisfactory answer. He just begged and cried for his children to be spared, but the boys got tortured anyway.

Obviously the moral lesson Doffy would take from that....is that kindness is for suckers. 💀

No I don't support his actions in Dressrosa. He enslaved an entire population of people. He didn't just execute rebels either, he broke them first. 💀 He was a monster. He needed to be stopped. He said Dressrosa was his birthright, it would have been given to him if he'd still been a Celestial Dragon. So either way, Luffy would have eventually beat him up in Dressrosa. 😂💔

But then what would have happened to Law? Doffy was the only one to accept the dying boy. Everyone rejected him cause they thought he was cursed. But not Doffy.

A little boy who tied bombs around his neck. He knew his disease would discourage people so he even offered to be used for a suicidal mission. He didn't care who took him, he just wanted to destroy. Doffy saw the hatred burning in that child's eyes and he smiled.

Doffy took that child and set him at his table, scolding the crew when they feared Law's disease. He gave Law access to everything he could learn on that ship. He let Corazon disappear for weeks in an attempt to cure Law's disease. He found the cure for Law.

Doffy was a tyrant, yes. But he loved his family.

Unfortunately, finding the cure for Law marked the end of the time he would spend....loving that boy. For Law would take his brother from him.

Doffy said he'd kill anyone who dared lay a finger on his brother. Ironic. He ended up killing him with his own hands.

(Every time I remember the Donquixote tragedy I go into a rant.)

Do you think at the end, when they both pointed guns at each other, Doffy knew that Corazon would never be able to pull the trigger? Do you think that made him angry? Knowing his brother was all talk. That he'd joined his crew to kill him and he'd been provided with many opportunities, but he'd never done it. Even though Doffy trusted him more than anyone else. Angry cause he knew his brother could never kill him. Angry cause he knew he was not the same. Angry cause he wished.... Corazon had kept on pretending. Then he wouldn't have to pull that trigger.

Corazon means Heart.

Doflamingo gave him that name.

I shouldn't wish someone as terrible as Doffy got a better life but..... I wish his father's plan had not failed so epically. I wish he'd been able to teach that boy to be kind. He clearly had the capacity for it. 😭😭😭😭

Yet another irony, Doffy's father sought to turn a tyrant into a kind man. Doffy sought to turn a doctor into a tyrant with Law. They both failed.

[iplaywithstring]

Excuse me while I rant a bit....

I've been having some frustrating conversations with my mother. Before we get to that, you need some background.

I live in a 2 story townhouse with 2 adults, 2 teens, and two cats. It is small - 3 bedrooms and bathroom upstairs, kitchen, laundry, and L-shaped living/dining downstairs. Add a hallway on each floor and a stairwell and that's it. That's the whole house.

I'm a fiber artist. I've got two spinning wheels, a 36" floor loom, and related items. We have the L-shaped room set up with a "dining room" (small table that only gets used for sewing projects, my son uses the empty space for using his VR games) at one end of the L, tv and couch in the corner section, and about 4 ft at the other end is sectioned off as my "workspace".

I'm a fiber artist - I've got two wheels and a 36" floor loom and two sewing machines and storage and such back there. It's just big enough for me to work in, and it keeps the mess from taking over the rest of the house. When my kids were young it was their play area with the tiny kitchen and such.

In 2020, my husband started working from home, and he likes it. He's got a home office set up in our bedroom - not ideal, but it works. We bought a folding screen and it keeps his desk hidden so it feels like a separate space. Sometimes he'll work downstairs in the living room. He's not really fussy about his work conditions, so hadn't thought about adding shelves or better lighting.

I'm about to start a counselling practicum. I will be seeing clients online and need a private space to work in for 10-15 hrs a week. Having good lighting and better soundproofing is important.

That's the background.

I was talking to my mom about doing some updates to the "office space" so that I have something nice behind me while I'm working. My mom made a couple jokes about "kicking [husband] out of his office". I explained I need a private space and he works in the livingroom sometimes anyway. It should have ended there.

It did not.

Instead, over the past two days I've gotten comments about how it's not good for him to work on his computer on the couch (he does that anyway in his free time). Then she starts in on how it's "too bad" I can't "pack away" my "looms and stuff" so that he could set up an office space in my workspace.

When I asked her what she meant, she just said that my "looms" (I only have one, but she means all my hobby stuff) takes up so much space (in my own home, where she doesn't live) and it's too bad I can't pack it up somewhere so it's not in the way.

In the way.

Arg.

So here I am trying to share excitement about the next phase in my education/career, happy with the work I've done to set up the space (with full support from my husband!) and I get back comments about how I take up too much space in my own damn home.

[sunrae08]

lil bit of a personal rant: sometimes when you have health restrictions or needs and not even your own family takes those into consideration it's really fucking irritating. I'm so tired of being treated like I'm a burden because of my health needs.

that being said- here's what I think the BG3 characters would do when you're feeling discouraged by your health problems (this is my way of coping ok 😭)

Astarion: The vampire spawn knows how too well what it's like to have specific needs. he has to drink blood from wild animals for fucks sake. He can't stand in the sun(before the tadpole)! he gets it. He listens to your problems and shares a bottle of wine with you. He even shares some newly heard gossip to try and get your mind off of your issues.

Gale: The moment that our wizard finds out about your problems he immediately goes into action. He reads about your specific diagnosis/disease to find out everything that he can. If there's medicine for it, he gets it for you. If there's a way to make the pain go away, he helps you with that. If there's no cure and nothing he can do- he'll comfort you with words and cuddles by the fire. Anything that you need, consider it done by Gale Dekarios.

Wyll: The Blade of Frontiers ie quick to comfort you. He sits by you and offers you a gentle hug if you're up for it. He listens to every complaint and need that you have. Even if he's there for hours comforting you, he'll do it. It hurts him to see you in discomfort and he tells you that he wishes he could take it away from you.

Halsin: Our bear is the king of comfort. He listens to your problems, and swears that he will take care of you. He uses his druidic knowledge to try and ease your pain. He offers to give you a massage if you need. His bear form vomes in handy for some very nice cuddles, the warmth of his fur is quick to calm you down. Halsin will not leave your side until he is certain that you are feeling better.

Shadowheart: Her experience with pain is well known to you, but she reminds you anyways. That she knows what it is like to suddenly be in pain and feel like everything is hopeless. She doesn't pressure you to share what your problems are, but she listens if you decide to confide in her. She offers to use her healing powers if you think it will help at all. Regardless of what it is that bothers you, she will sit with you and be your shoulder to cry on if you need.

Lae'zel: Our gith warrior pretends not to care. If she notices your pain and discomfort, she does not comment on it. But she shows her support through small actions. She makes you tea and insists that she only made extra and was giving you the left overs. You don't know when she does it but you find that all of the tasks you needed to do are completed, and when you ask if she was the one to do it- she denies it completely.

Karlach: As soon as she finds out about your pain, she's all over you. Cuddles you for days. Gets you your favorite treat to make you feel better. Makes jokes and funny stories to try and get you to laugh, hoping that if you smile you'll start to feel better. She gets sad when you tell her all about your issues, then gets mad if you tell her there's no cure. "There's got to be a cure, solider. There has to!" Unfortunately she knows all to well what it's like to have something uncureable. You bond over your similar experiences.

Scratch and the Owlbear cub might not know what exactly is wrong with you but they'll cuddle you all the same. It's impossible to feel sad when they're cozy like that.

[fereldanwench]

i'm finally starting to feel human again and i actually have the time to do an update

so um

the update:

ya girl is diabetic (idk what type yet tho bc doctors are clowns)

so this week i learned that birth control side effects and fucking diabetic keto acidosis apparently have some overlapping symptoms lmao

all the issues i was having? the leg cramps, fatigue, shortness of breath--it's because my blood was literally poisoning me! i was also peeing a lot, but this honestly didn't register with me as being that abnormal because i have always had to pee a lot because i always drink a lot of water. i was also losing weight, but i was trying to lose weight, so again, didn't register as a bad thing

diabetes was obviously not what was my first assumption was given that all this also perfectly aligned with my birth control issues (i honestly thought i was going to have a blood clot or something but everything was fine on that front, fortunately), but it was something that was kind of at the back of my mind because my brother is also diabetic. he was misdiagnosed as a type 2 at the beginning of 2019, but after he couldn't get it into remission despite losing almost half his body weight, he found out that he's actually the adult-onset type 1 or "1.5" type of diabetic

despite me telling the doctors this, i was literally told they "don't care about the type" because my blood sugar was super high and the initial treatment is going to be insulin injections regardless. i'm trying to keep my stress levels at a minimum right now so i will forgo a rant but needless to say, NO ONE LIKED THAT RESPONSE!!! (my brother was especially pissed--he could basically be a blueprint for what i went through but why listen to patients when they answer your questions about family history when you can just ignore them!)

so yeah, i'm on fast-acting insulin injections 3x/day with meals and long-acting insulin at night, and a very carefully curated diet with lots of veggies and lean protein. my glucose levels are steadily getting lower and i am feeling much, much better, but my sleep is all fucked up from the hospital visit (on top of the time change) and i'm still a little light-headed if i move too fast

my follow-up is friday so obviously i will be asking for the tests to determine type because what the actual fuck and can hopefully fine-tune my treatment

emotionally/mentally i'm... fine. ish. lmao. seeing that my brother has gone through this and seeing how well he's been able to manage it and still live a very full life (including traveling a lot) i think has done a lot to prevent this from feeling too scary and overwhelming. he and i are very close too--he actually picked me up from the hospital so he could give me some 'betes starter gear--so i have a good support system here

but the crying comes in waves, lmao. i had a nice good breakdown last night. not knowing the type is kind of delaying my ability to process it, too, because if it's type 2, i will put this bitch into remission!!! but if it's type 1, that's gonna be a lot harder to cope with, i think

i really get most emotional when i tell other people about it bc i immediately feel the need to assure them i'm fine, lmao. and for some reason other people telling me i'll be fine also makes me cry so it's just kjdfhgjdkfgdfgdfg

anyway, i wanted to give an update since i said i would and i know i certainly appreciate it when my friends who get hospitalized let me know they're okay lmao, but despite my usual oversharing tendencies, i actually don't really want to talk about this here! at least not right now. something about it feels very personal to me, idk. maybe it's because this is such a high-judgement disease and i just don't want to fucking hear shit about it!!

and for my final thought, i would just like to say that potassium IV drips fucking suck balls, and my arms are so goddamn sore and bruised from all the stabs and pokes and prods and squeezes

[cdelphiki]

I submitted my final project yesterday, and took my final exam today, and now I'm officially done with this stupid class and this stupid certificate forever. Lmao. Stay tuned for my rant about how frustrating this experience has been for me, if you want:

I'm so annoyed with this class, because the professor was so frustrating. She didn't grade a single thing I did all semester until FINALS WEEK. She also didn't open up the instructions for the final project until she told me I was done with it (we had teams meetings so she was just verbally telling me what to do). She told me that the instructions for writing the abstract are in the project module, and I was like... what project module? When she finally opened the module and I was able to actually read it, I found that my final project she had just approved as being ready to submit didn't meet the minimum requirements? And when I asked about it she said "yes those are the minimums." LADY? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF? YOU JUST SAID MY PROJECT WAS DONE??? It was 5pm on Friday, the last day of finals week when she did this, BY THE WAY. I had been working on the project all week, I'd put, like, 30 hours into this damn project already. And she couldn't have been early on like "hey there's a project module" so I could have even KNOWN there was supposed to be a module I couldn't see? This is after all semester long I was emailing her asking 'where is this reading, where is this lab' etc etc because she just simply didn't upload stuff or release it as the syllabus stated she would. I had to ask her for things weekly that should have just been there in the course material. Oh yeah, and those instructions for an abstract? Not in the project module. I just wrote an abstract how I think it should be. Then her exams she writes are just.... she really needs to use grammarly. Some of her exam questions made ZERO sense, because it just wasn't proper English. English is her second language, so I understand why it happened and do not judge that, but I do not find it acceptable when this is a graduate level class, in English, and you mark me wrong if I don't answer the question correctly? Just run the question through grammarly. The final exam had instructions that were like 'for essay questions write a response between 75 and 100 words, this is open book, you can talk to your classmates but your answer must be your own," and that was the instructions. Then 20 of 26 questions just had a single word as the question? Like, what do you want me to do with this? Define it? Explain it? Give an example of it? All of the above? None of the above? And she had one question that I SWEAR said "give three (4) examples of...." like?????????? and another question said "name the three types of...." but there are FIVE types of that thing?

Anyway I went to eviscerate her in the course eval and learned it closed yesterday but I wasn't done with the class yesterday so I was waiting. Oh well. My complaints will be kept to myself. She has strong suits. She's very nice, and when she actually responds to my messages (oh yeah she ghosted me the first half of this last week, when I was working on the project. I was submitting drafts to her via email like she asked me to do and she just simply didn't respond until Wednesday.) she's pretty helpful. I also DID learn a lot in her courses, and in this program overall.

The entire certificate program is sorely lacking, tbh. The first professor I had was also my advisor, and he would just flat up not respond to my emails. I don't think I'm too needy, I tend to get my work done on my own. I asked him the answer to a final question after the final was due and grades were posted, and he didn't reply to me. Like, okay dude. That's kind of rude. It's your job to teach me and I think I'm doing well by actually trying to learn what the correct answer is after the fact? Whatever. The second two classes were this same lady twice, and all my complaints about this semester can be applied to last semester, too.

Overall, I'm very glad my work paid for me to attend these classes and it was not coming out of my pocket, because if I was paying as much as work paid for this, I would have been in the dean's inbox every single semester with my issues lmao. I WILL be a Karen if it's warranted. Not grading *any* of my work until after the semester is over is unacceptable, not providing material on time is unacceptable, having exams that are indecipherable is unacceptable, etc etc. The list goes on. I didn't get my midterm grade until the final exam was open to take, also. If I as a student am expected to keep up with deadlines, my professor, as the professor, should also be expected to keep up with deadlines. (all within reason and with allowances for true problems, ofc)