#anyways i'm done ranting so have a nice day :)
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tanicus-caesareth · 7 months ago
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guarana drama, damage control
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adore-gregor · 2 months ago
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đŸ™„đŸ« 
#yk when i said i'm back to being active on tumblr well yeah 😅#i had to write a seminar paper for uni and it hasn't been going well because i got sick and didn't get much done#well i got an extension luckily but it still was a struggle the topic was just rly difficult to write about#i'm almost done now at least some 300 words i still have to write and then proofread and work on better formulating but yay#i should get it done today but yeah i'll manage so i'll be back when i'm done the latest tmrw#but seminar papers are for real my least favorite part of uni 😅 it's so time consuming and can be a real struggle ugh#i rather write an exam lmao#but anyway i needed to rant ://#my money got stolen đŸ™ƒđŸ˜«#sometimes life just throws some shit at you ugh#like having to write this paper and not having a social life anymore isn't enougj#i don't know how it happened? i mean i don't know for sure but i can't explain it another way#like the money was in my wallet the day before yesterday and yesterday the whole day i didn't use my wallet qnd then it was gone??#maybe while i was at uni football but that's crazy it was not some public place but in a school gym lockerroom??#or maybe someone stole it from my backpack on the street idk?? but i didn't notice#but that was money i got for my birthday from my dad and aunts đŸ˜Ș#and i wanted to buy something nice with it and ig i will anyway but it sucks :((#it was not a little no i had 150€ in my wallet 😭 at least my credit cards are still there ig#but i realize now how stupid that probably was to carry so much money with but i thought it was safe fr#like i have lived in austria all my life and this never happened to me đŸ˜« and it was not like i was walking around with my wallet openly#i mean i will be fine it would be a lot worse if that happened to someone who is just barely getting by but i'm still upset#and my mom told me that apparently it happened to a friend of her as well when she was in my city but like i never heard that before...#from any of my friends ... or maybe it really is that more dangerous with thieves in my uni city but like i wasn't aware#bc i mean in general austria is like a very safe country comparatively and feels like it never was on my mind#maybe it's horrible bad luck but in the future I will be careful to carry any cash with me 🙃
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sealovinq · 8 months ago
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i need friends /gen (slight rant in tags)
#xelle.txt#i noticed i don't really have a permanent circle of friends. at least irl#i have one online but they're also busy and i just can't dedicate my time to one friend group#i don't know - it's just the people i thought who were nice turned out to be the exact opposite#and when i found out about that i just kinda. lost interest in making any more friends#my partner is the only person i interact with on a daily basis. the irl friend group i was referring to earlier i'm not exactly close with-#-them either#i feel like if i didn't only give my time in nurturing my romantic relationship i would have done the same for my platonics too#that's still a problem of mine. my time management between love life and friends. heck i even got myself into an unsolvable problem because-#-of my inability to stay consistent#also my brain is kinda fried from reading 20+ pages so pardon any grammatical errors but yeah anyway#honestly i've been craving for interaction here. but i know i won't be active and it'd just be pointless#to gain more friends or followers. i don't exactly make content as consistently as i did before#the other day i had to vent to an ai (would you believe me if it was cha.tgpt) about my troubles because i had no one else to talk to lol#there's just so much going on irl 😭 ya girl's almost starting college and they're throwing so much tasks at us!!#and i feel very very stressed about it because they're usually done in groups i am ALWAYS the assigned leader#which gets exhausting especially when there are lazy members present#anyway#hopefully this weekend i get some time to cool off. but next week i'm back to grinding and working#lol i don't even think i'm in the top ranks anymore. i'm so burnt out.#this is what being an academic achiever gives you oops ZZHSIAHAHAJAHHS#imma sleep now 😭#idk you can just interact with me or recommend someone you know who self ships in the same medias i do#goodnight everypony đŸ«¶#vent tw#rant tw
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schnaf · 8 months ago
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#learning hangul never ends#and i am like đŸ”Ș#so you're thinking of yourself as superior to chinese?? at least chinese MAKES SENSE#and doesn't have to make up new rules at every single corner#it's so weird that hangul was invented bcs this guy was like nah chinese characters are too hard i'm gonna make an easy system#and then it's like... oh but this is an exception#this letter is pronounced that way! but if it comes at this position it's pronounced another way#and sometimes it's just silent#and sometimes there are 4 letters but two of them are silent and 1 of them isn't pronounced regularly#i am DONE#sure learning chinese characters is a LOT#but at some point you can see patterns and it all fits together#korean letters are way easier but THE PATTERNS ARE A MESS#(but also i just looked at another way to count in korean)#(like.... i know un deux sept)#(but there's a second way to count and it sounds so similar to chinese and đŸ„łđŸ„łđŸ„łđŸ„łđŸ„łđŸ„ł)#(i know there won't be many crossovers so i'm happy about every single one)#((talking about crossovers: i started learning czech recently because i have no self control))#((((also because i told myself i'd only start learning a new language after being good in chinese and that day will never come))))#((((so i dropped that plan and now i've got nothing holding me back from starting new languages))))#((and a few days ago i listened to a russian interview and i was like wait i know these words))#((it was very nice but also a reminder that i should have stuck to languages that are part of an actual family))#((i want to know more 'if you know one you know them all' languages))#anyway that's my language rant for today and if it wasn't for my number crossover i'd be a bit more 'why did i decide to learn korean UGH'#(the answer is immersion btw. i thought if i keep watching korean stuff i might as well learn the language bcs at least i've got immersion)
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polaroidcats · 1 year ago
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not me googling how much it would cost to play the harp :(
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starscreamingg · 2 years ago
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Currently being very normal about having tickets for avatar 2 this weekend
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do-you-have-a-flag · 19 days ago
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Text recounting of the full events below but oh my god please watch this person explain the wildest thing happening to them
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[image text]r/trueoffmychest post by CptnSpaceCase tiktok handle kelseycanstand
Today my aide cooked what should not be cooked
I have to get this out, because today feels like an actual nightmare I keep expecting to wake up from.
I'm disabled, and need help with stuff around the house. Today was the second day with a new agency and new home health aide, "Tina." I set it up so she would come by in the morning while I'm sleeping (insomnia is killer), and I texted her last night what I would need done today.
One of those things was to roast some precut squash I'd gotten so I could have it with my salads and pasta. I was very clear in my instructions: what it looked like, where it was in the fridge, how to use the oven, how to cook it. I also have a roommate who was up and told her she could ask them for help if she couldn't find anything. Or come get me if truly necessary.
Now, I have three pet ball pythons. They eat rats that I thaw from frozen in the fridge in a reusable plastic bag. Yes, that's where I'm going with this.
Tina couldn't find the squash, and so, obviously, that meant she should roast the first other thing she could see that was technically also encased in plastic, in a completely different area of the fridge. The FUCKING RATS. In butter and salt, in my nice baking dish.
And like, that's insane all on its own, but if you're going to cook any animal, you should at least clean and skin it first, right??? Like, do the crazy, disgusting thing properly so I can respect the effort, instead of sticking them in as is. Fur and guts and all.
And the smell. Good God baby Jesus the SMELL. It woke me up and had me gagging the moment I opened my bedroom door. Definitely not squash. Or food-smelling for that matter. At first I thought the squash had spontaneously rotted overnight and she'd tried to cook it anyway. That would have been slightly less insane and much preferable.
I had to pull it out of her what she was cooking instead when she said she couldn't find it (it was in plain sight), had to open the oven and see my snakes' dinners in place of my own and still couldn't process what the fuck was happening, what I was looking at and smelling. I don't like yelling at people and generally avoid it. Today was a day for exceptions. And at the end of my half-crazed, dissociative rant, I told her to get the whole dish and its contents and herself out of the fucking house. And to not come back.
Suffice to say, I've contacted the agency to report it and am requesting a new aide. Now I'm sitting at a cafe trying to calm down and eat something despite the scent memory that's taken up permanent residence and turning my stomach. The whole house reeks like musty, sewage-dipped pork that had been left out for a whole day before being cooked in rancid oil, and I'm not sure Febreeze is gonna cut it. I don't want to go home. đŸ« đŸ˜­
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darkestwings-hellishsoul · 1 year ago
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Love finding out who at my job is a closet racist
(so i can be rude to them of course)
#for context#this woman (50s-60s maybe) has given me a red alert in my head every time shes talked to me despite being very nice on the surface#tbf im also white so of course she would be#but anyway#she also has seen me use the mens room and still misgenders me#so i dont feel safe correcting her at all#but today#i overheard her talking to her old biddy buddies about how our supervisor (a Black man) favors Black women#all bc he told her to button the top button of her lab coat#“ive seen people on their phones people with piercings people with headphones and they never get in trouble”#actually laurie they have been recently because surprise surprise hes getting a new manager and is really strict rn to be safe with them#there was a whole team meeting about it in fact#so yeah shes a salty old bitch whos convinced that Black people get special treatment at my job#despite the fact that there are just as many white line leads as there are Black and Black people are the majority at my place of work đŸ€”#its almost like institutions still favor the white people even when theyre the minority hmmm#anyway im done ranting finally it was just a real rough day#doesnt help that theres a known transphobe thats a line lead and she was hovering all damn day too#theres like 5 of us (out trans folk that is) at my job and yet people like her still fucking get away with shit#id also like to point out for the record#I'm one of Charles' favorites based solely on my work ethic and ability to adapt and learn new machines#not that id even blame him for being biased in the first place#but yeah its pretty obviously based on performance not race
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curiosityschild · 2 years ago
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Anyone else feeling absolutely unhinged this fine Sunday evening? Or is it just me
#hhhhhh absolutely has been A DAY#this is a very familiar feeling I just haven't been able to name it yet and I don't know how to counteract it#distractions aren't really working and that's sort of my go to can I just explode instead????#my church voted this morning not to leave the UMC over the issue of human sexuality#well actually it was more of a vote to see if we even needed a vote only one person voted leave (lmao) so we don't need another vote#been dreading that for a while so it's nice to have that resolved I mean I knew it was going to go this way but you know#our church tends to be tight lipped over politics so it was a welcome surprise to hear a few people voice their support for lgbtq#even though we weren't supposed to actually be talking about that anyway that was heartening#this whole thing isn't really over though not until the general conference meets in 2024 not much I can do until then though but wait#and honestly I'm probably going to end up leaving the UMC anyway#because I really would rather be in a church that is explicitly queer affirming but we'll just wait and see what 2024 brings#ANYWAY the BAD news is I got to hear my brother say that gay people are fine and all#but that the bible explicitly condemns homosexual relationships#and then in his typical manner tried to ignore my requests to not talk about this topic while I was trapped in a car with him#but I was defended by my mom and my sister#who have GOT to suspect I'm gay at this point there's no way they don't lmao#so that's great me and him are moving in complete opposite directions#and THEN i went grocery shopping with my mom and it was busy and I was tired and I had been wearing my binder too long#so I think the whole day just led to a bit of an overload#I think I'm just going to take some melatonin and try to sleep I'm done good lord sorry for the tag rant#👍👍👍👍👍 everything's fine goodnight
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strangersteddierthings · 9 months ago
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"What's wrong?" Robin asks, bumping her arm against his as she joins him leaning against the counter, staring out the front door of Family Video.
Steve doesn't bother to lie. Robin would know, she always does. "I'm not sure wrong is the right word, but it's, it's something."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Yeah," he says, taking a quick glance around. It's just after 11pm on Saturday. They've got another hour of work before they can officially close, but Hawkins closes down at 9. The store is empty currently, and since they're facing the door, they'll know if someone comes in. "I just don't know- I don't-"
"Gather your words. Speak when you're ready. I'm not going anywhere," Robin says, and it speaks volumes that she didn't call him dingus. Steve's never upset by the nickname, not really, but sometimes, when the conversation is heavy, he can't deal with nicknames. Especially not ones that are meant teasingly now but started as an insult.
"I feel- I feel ungrateful and, like, selfish, because I'm... I'm not happy with Eddie," Steve says, then immediately frowns because that's not right. It's not wrong, either, but it's. "I'm not unhappy with Eddie. I love him. I love him so much, Robin."
"I know you do. It's disgusting."
"And I got into this relationship knowing what Eddie's like. I love him 'cause of those things, not in spite of-"
"You don't have to convince me you love him."
"Right. Right. It's just. It's like, I thought, I don't know, that I wouldn't have to always be the guy?" Steve says, and it's followed by such a long pause that he looks over. It startles a laugh out of him at how much Robin looks like him right now. Confused, brow furrowed and mouth slightly open. That's his perplexed expression, and it's mirrored on Robin's face now.
Well. Not now because he laughed so she's glaring at him.
"Sorry. It was like looking into a mirror for a moment there."
She wrinkles her nose at him and says, "What do you mean 'always be the guy'?"
He lets out a sigh. "I just mean- Eddie's the first guy I've ever dated. And there was, like, unwritten rules when dating girls. Don't give me that face, I already know the rant about straights and their het-ro-norman-whatever-"
"Heteronormativity."
"Yes, that. I know it's bad, working on unlearning it, etcetera, etcetera. Can I just get through this using the words I do have?"
"Yes. Sorry."
He waves off her apology and continues, "So, the unwritten but absolute rules of straight dating. The guy asks. The guy plans the date. He pays, if it's something that requires money. He gets the door, offers his jacket if it's cold, gives the flowers and chocolates on Valentines Day and- sorry. The guy does all that. I do all that. And I just. I want to not, not have to?"
Robin's eyes soften and she gives a sad smile. "Eddie doesn't do those things?"
Steve frowns. "Not- he's done some of those things but it's not... It's never been romantic. Never felt... intentionally romantic. Which is why I feel so ungrateful and selfish. 'Cause Eddie's not a romantic. Not like I am. And I shouldn't expect him to be!"
She frowns. "But you don't expect him to be."
"I mean, yeah. I don't. Which just makes this worse, right? Because Eddie tries. In his own way. And I'm still..."
"What does Eddie do to try?"
"He loans me jackets when I'm cold. And it's- it's like a throwback to the upside down. He'll fold it all nice and then throw it at me full force. Like with the battle vest," Steve smiles at the memory, despite his sour mood.
"That doesn't sound very romantic. That sounds like an inside joke. He could do that same thing while not dating you and it wouldn't be weird."
"Can't an inside joke be romantic?"
Robin nods as she turns, back to the counter so she can hop up on it. "Can be. And I guess if you find get pelted in the face by jackets romantic, that's your kink."
"Why do I talk to you?" Steve groans, and Robin shrugs. "Anyway, I guess I just... I want to be the one taken care of, sometimes, but not just when- God, I'm so selfish, aren't I?" He paces away from the counter, running a hand through his hair.
Eddie's a good boyfriend. He listens when Steve rambles about sports and stats, asking questions and actually engages in conversation. He takes care of Steve when a migraine leaves him all but useless; gets him his meds and water and combs his fingers through Steve's hair softly until it lulls Steve to sleep. Eddie pays attention enough to know the little things about Steve that he doesn't say out loud.
"Not just when?" Robin prompts, and Steve realizes he quit talking.
"Not just when I'm hurt. I want doors held for me, and for him to plan a romantic night, either out or in! And I- I want him to give me his jacket by wrapping it around my shoulders like I do for him."
"I'm going to say something, and you aren't allowed to be upset by it."
Steve nods.
"You have to tell him. Eddie's not gonna know you want these things unless you say so."
He nods again, because he knows that. He does. It's just... "I got with him knowing he wasn't a romantic person. I don't want- I don't know how to say it without making it sound like I want him to change. Or make him feel like he's not enough, or that he's a bad boyfriend for not having done this and-"
"Steve! Jesus, now who's the mirror? It's Eddie. He loves you. He'll listen. Even as you fumble your way through an explanation. A conversation is not the make or break of this relationship."
Steve swallows even though it feels like there's stones piling up in his stomach. A single conversation broke his last relationship, but Eddie's not Nancy.
"Yeah. You're right. I think I'm just... I'm afraid of making Eddie feel that same way Nancy made me feel, when she called us bullshit. I was blinded-sided by it all and I don't, I can't do that to Eddie."
"You won't. 'Cause this situation is different. You love Eddie, and Eddie loves you, and that's real and true. I think it would hurt Eddie more to think there's this whole other category of shit he could be doing for you, but isn't, 'cause he doesn't even know you'd like it, much less want it."
Steve nods as she speaks. It's all true, and he feels less like there are stones in his stomach. "Thanks, Bobbin. I don't- I might give it a few days before I talk to Eddie about it, but I will."
"You better, dingus," she hopes off the counter and looks at the clock, groaning when she sees it's still not midnight. "Think Keith will kill us if we close early?"
"No way. He'd have to cover all our shifts until he can hire replacements. We're too valuable to him to die."
-
@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @skepsiss @afewproblems
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king-spite · 2 months ago
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update on this!!! it went well lmao :]
so after lots of thinking i decided i'm gonna come out as trans this college year (to classmates, teachers, etc) and when i tell you i'm TERRIFIED🧍
#the first day was awful i felt like i was gonna throw up all through the day lol#but everyone has been so supportive and nice and i really really wasn't expecting that!!! i could cry!! :(((#most ppl didn't ask if i'd change my pronouns as well but i guess they figured#cause my new name is not ''feminine''#i also was a little scared at how quickly these kinda things spread around. bc people i've barely talked to already called me#by my new name and all lol#but since everyone has been really chill about it that hasn't been a problem. thank god#also all of my lecturers were so chill as well?? one of them reassured me and like kinda smiled when i told her and another one (my favorite#lecturer in college was like ''OMG i like your new name a lot! so cool'' :(((( she was so nice i WILL cry)#(my favorite lecturer for a Reason!!☝)#and my closest college friends have also been like practicing and calling me by my new name instead of my nickname :]#(cause my nickname has stayed the same. my new name is ''masculine'' but phonetically it sounds a lot like my deadname.#cause i wanted to be able to derive the same nickname from it. cause idk i love that nickname And it's gender-neutral sorta And it's what my#friends and family have always called me. so i didn't want to change it. so i didn't!)#and idk i'm so thankful to everyone who's like making an effort and like sorta practicing my new name lol#Plus. one thing about coming out that i was really surprised by is that (and this is gonna sound silly). Adults CAN be allies??#i don't even mean queer adults. but cishet adults. can be allies to queer teens. wdym not every 50 year old thinks like my parents#like i already knew that in theory but seeing it Actually be like that irl was kinda life-changing#idk it's been an experience#to think that a few years ago i couldn't admit that i was trans out loud let alone imagine myself doing what i've done this year#choosing a new name and coming out and everything. not to get sentimental (yes to get sentimental) but i'm kind of very proud of myself :]#anyway#little rant#📎
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sexilene · 7 months ago
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I FEIN FOR A FULL FIC ABOUT PRINCESS!READER WRITTING IN HER DIRAY S'SO CUTE LIKE
yeesss OFC!! ignore any mistakes sorrriii ˚ àŒ˜âœ¶ ïœĄËš ⁀➷ princess!reader w - mentions of sex, p in v, rafe making it up to you through sleepy sex!!
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your nighttime self-care routine sometimes included needing to write in your diary the things you wouldn't dare say out loud. you sat on your side of the bed with the dim warm light illuminating the room while rafe took a shower. often doing all your skincare, shower stuff, and oral care before rafe so that after you can let it all marinate before sleeping. you grab your pink fluffy pen from your nightstand to start your journaling. 
dear diary, today was so totally not great, rafe ended up leaving me this morning to play golf with the boys even after he promised to take me to martino's to get some tea cakes that i've been craving for the past week!! AND on top of that, i missed a hair appointment since rafe had the car all day and he's like my boyfriend chauffeur!! this blows!! i hate him and he will not be given kisses or sex until further notice. 
rafe walks out of the bathroom, with a towel around his waist, his hair all wet, and droplets of water running down his muscles. the view almost makes you forget why you were pissed at him in the first place, but then you quickly snap out of it when you remember you are supposed to be "ranting" in your diary. 
"whatcha doin'?" rafe asks, making you look over at him, he's put on some comfy pajama pants and sat down on his side of the bed, leaning over to look at what you are writing. 
"i'm doing self-care, it's my de-stress diary." 
"why do you need a diary? that's what i'm here for, tell your secrets to me." he shrugs and leans closer to really read what's on the pages. 
"nuh uh, somethings i would say aren't lady-like." you bring the diary to your chest to prevent him from reading it. 
"hey, lemme see. i'm basically entitled to read your diary, it's a boyfriend's right."
"no baby that's just an invasion of privacy." you giggle which makes him huff.
"okay well we promised no secrets, so give it here." he reaches for the diary, you roll your eyes and give up, handing it to him. 
"fine, but i should not be held accountable for what i wrote, its girl stuff."
"aww shit baby, i forgot about martino's, i'm sorry," he remembers as he beings to read what you wrote. "no sex or kisses until further notice? that's fuckin' ridiculous kid." he furrows his eyebrows while he's reading. 
"mm-hmm, it's not like you'd notice anyways since you've been so "busy" recently." you exaggerate and roll your eyes.
"don't roll your eyes at me, fix your attitude." he points at you scoldingly which only makes you pout and reach for the diary again. 
"if you think you really need this then fine, but no more talking shit about me in there. use your words." he closes the little book and hands it back to you. 
"i did." 
"you know what i mean." 
"i can't say it to your face." you shake your head and place the diary on your nightstand. 
"yes, you can." he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer to him, your back to his bare chest. 
"you smell really good." you sigh, wishing you could just give in and climb on top of him.
"thank you, baby. so do you." he kisses your bare shoulder, slipping down the thin strap of your silky nightgown. 
"but i'm still mad at you."
"rant to me then."
you sigh again, "you forgot that today was supposed to be our day, you suck and if you really loved me you wouldn't have done that." you exaggerate again. 
"i know princess, i know, and i'm sorry but i do love you so don't even start." your boyfriend chides, look back at him and he takes the opportunity to kiss the corner of your mouth. 
"no rafe, no kissing."
"don't be brat, i'll make it up to you. take you to martino's first thing tomorrow and i'll take you to do your hair, how'bout i fuck you to sleep nice n' slow right now? hmm?" he places his hand on the side of your face to bring you closer so he can press a kiss to your cheek. 
"mmhm ohkay, be gentle." you nod, rafe just grins and attacks you with soft kisses all over your lips, jaw and neck.
"just relax baby, lay down i'll do all the work." rafe extends his arm to reach over to your nightstand light to turn it off, now the only light coming in is the moonlight streaming in through the balcony windows. you lay back against the mattress, head hitting the pillows and rafe lifts the thin dress above your hips. never really wearing panties under your nightgown while you sleep, he rubs your bare pussy with the pads of two of his big fingers. rafe pulls himself out, also not wearing any boxers under the plaid pajama pants to sleep, and lines himself up to slowly push in, you wine and dig your nails into his biceps. 
"shshsh....you're fine." your boyfriend soothes as he begins to slowly and gently stretch you out, giving you a few wet kisses on your neck. the way he smells and feels on top of you makes you feel so warm and sleepy, that your eyes begin to fall closed as he thrusts into you very softly.
"i love you," you whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck to make you feel closer to him even though he's balls deep inside you right now. 
"i love you more princess, jus' fall asleep, i've got you."
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frostblightsunbite · 3 months ago
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Sketch page of the Young Justice core four!
I numbered them in the order I did them in, which gives a very clear indication for when I switched my style.
Rant under cut :)
This would have been done like four or five days ago but I cannot for the life of me draw a fucking running pose holy shit. like the mean for time taken for each drawing would have been maybe 30 minutes, but no 6 was a BITCH and took me maybe five hours alone, but tbf, half of that was spent lamenting.
Btw these aren't, like, the full sketches, after 6 I started to draw the silhouettes of the poses first and then went over it in red. Also, references used for 1,3, and 9. Why didn't I use a reference for number 6 if it was so hard? I gave up. I still think it should have been pushed more but eh.
Posting will probably be slow until maybe October, because I just got into university, for an art course, which is pretty neat ngl. so yippee or whatever.
The sketches of Bart are my favourite and that upsets me. not because I don't like him but because the poses took me so long. He does, however, get the privelige of colour, mostly because he looked super empty without it. I tried giving the others their red as well, but it was too much and Tim looked like Dick, so....
I'm not really a fan of these in general, but I'm posting them anyway, because eventually I get to see progress. much happier with the style I used for the last 4 (sorry Kon), but they don't exactly look young, more like late-ish teenagers.
I'm pretty happy with the one character interaction that I forced myself to do, though, so that's nice, even if they're not really doing anything.
I think I messed up Cassie's outfit by accidentally combining two of them, so oops.
Shoes still suck. I hate them.
Theres a lot to tag now holy shit-
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4rs0n1stt · 6 months ago
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Talk To You //
Hopeless!Romantic!Donnie x Fem!Reader
author's note; kinda like a song fic (it's not) but yeah, super super late though!!  Donnie's POV btw!!
yes it's been a 3 months 😋
Synopsis; Donnie has been keeping an eye on someone, being a hopeless romantic and his ”bad boy image“ isn't particularly helping.
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I hate this, I really hate this. Einstein, fucking help me. I wasn't supposed to like her! I wasn't supposed to like anyone!! I do not have any romantic feelings to her. But every single thing that I researched said otherwise. Even my own brother says so!! Why does everytime I look at you I get so— vulnerable? Staring at your face always made me calm. Admiring? Ew. But— those little short eye contacts are indescribably astonishing to feel. Maybe just maybe?
I don't know. You're messing up my mind- you little—
"Gahh, what should I do?" I groaned and slammed my head onto my table, a pencil fell from the said table. I stayed silent, frustrated at this ungodly useless feelings I've been feeling. I couldn't take her off my mind. All day long, I daydream about her which takes most of my productivity a waste. I haven't done anything but think about that little twat.
Reflecting doesn't help at all, all I think was her and her! Thinking about now, I just don't know why you keep being calm even though I've been so mean to you. I shouldn't do anything stupid like that but I can't help it, I'm figuring this out.
Feelings are so complicated to feel and such an unfortunate thing for me to have something people call as “humane“.
"Hey Donnie! Someoneeee~ got pizza!! She has your favourite!" Leo yelled at the other side of my door. Disturbing me from my reminiscing of this said person. Leo always knew about what our relation—rivalryship (even if it's partially one-sided) is. And he uses it as an advantage to tease me, specifically—fucking with me up.
I wouldn't blame him entirely though, I liked and hated this feeling. He doesn't know anyway. I wouldn't blame him aswell, she's really...cool, I guess.
I stopped myself from thinking about her before it gets worse. I fixed myself, not just physically but mentally, it's an eager to make her impress. But she wouldn't be impressed as I have been mean to her.
As I went to the main room, I wasn't particularly sure where they were but as I, the genius, were right. They were all huddled up with each other. Apparently they missed her for being gone for 13 days, 56 minutes and 12 seconds-
Goddamnit it...
"Ughhh, finally!! Some break from that shithole." She complained, I wondered. She picked a sliced pizza on the placed pizza on the ground and sat at the bean bag. She sighed releasing the stress and pain from her back...I suppose.
"Girl. Spill everything."  Leo spoke excitedly like a girl's girl. Everyone gets their preferred pizza and/or pillows, blankets and sat with her. Curious on her new stories about her college.
I was really uninterested about school, but I find myself listening on her rantings about the latest drama, tea and struggles on her daily life of college. I somewhat don't understand her words, I don't care anyway. Her voice has always been nice to hear even if she stuttered sometimes.
But every flaws she had was attractive. It's...unfair. That she's so extraordinary and remarkable human that we happen to stumble upon. I looked at her longingly, eyeing her squinted smile, her pimples, her.
I wish I can talk to you.
To talk to you without any mean remarks towards her, to be able to hear her laugh and compliments towards my acts.
I want to be near her, to feel her presence all of the time. To spend time with her just like my brothers do. How I envy them, surprisingly.
It's so frustrating, it's been years. I've been struggling with my quote unquote "love" or "admiration" towards her. She must be a witch, no one can make me feel like a hopeless pathetic, lovesick dog!
Even if I wanted to confess, I wouldn't have the chance to, I'm way too vulnerable when we're alone. I get so shy and flustered to do it.
Let alone I'm horrible at confronting my feelings, I can even write a damn letter for Einstein's sake!
I just- can't do it now
I'm hopeless.
Yet I desire for you.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
author's note here; yes it's been months, i apologize deeply. literally fucking school is devouring my existence and motivation rn not to mention I have a deadline to finish (cough March 29 cough) and I haven't even started it.
credits to Rick Montgemery for his astonishing songsssssssssss
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pedal-writes · 5 months ago
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Homesick (2)
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A/N: This one is a bit longer despite it honestly being filler but yk I gotta keep the grind up guys 🙏 oh yeah, don't mind the obligatory fanfic bestie, she isn't gonna have that big a role after this don't worry guys, big peepaw robot will only be on the mind soon lolz
Oh yeah and I added some dialogue from the book in here bc it's easier to translate that then movie dialogue so I'm gonna switch between the both of those, just an FYI!
It’s been about a week or so since you arrived in L.A.. Like Sam boasted about, he managed to get a car, a yellow camero to be exact. It was amusing how much he rubbed it in your face as if you didn’t get a car when you were literally his age. But you weren’t that bothered by his sudden load of cockiness and was just happy he managed to get some independence for himself. 
Today, Felicity wanted to meet up with you  and catch up over some dinner and maybe a shopping spree at the mall. She had been talking about it all week but couldn’t see you until now since she hasn’t found a good time to take off from work. You went through your suitcase and found a few cute clothing items that screamed casual but also girls night (more like day) out. As you picked up your purse and made sure all of your essentials were inside, you made your way out of your bedroom and down the stairs. A small chuckle left your lips when you heard your parents muffled voices bickering outside. They were working on the yard for the past few hours and your mom would constantly harp on what your dad did wrong. It was a little funny honestly. 
Suddenly, you felt someone walk past you and a muffled sorry escaped their lips. You glanced over in confusion and saw Sam go into the garage. You snorted and decided to follow him, out of pure curiosity. As you walk into the garage and lean on the door frame, Sam scrambled to find his keys. “Hey Sam, what’s goin’ on?”
Sam glances over, his demeanor dropping a bit in annoyance. “I’m uh, going to this lake party. Miles is gonna come with me so y’know
”
“Wait, you got invited to an actual party?” You responded with a twinge of surprise in your voice. “No offense.”
“I mean not
 officially. It’s a public place, anyone can go to the lake.” Sam said, making his way past you and towards one of the back doors. “And why are you so done up? You don’t usually wear clothes that nice.”
“Wh— Okay I’m going to ignore that you just said that. Anyways, Felicity is gonna pick me up in a few because she wanted to catch up since we haven’t seen each other in like forever.” You say as you adjust the purse hanging on your shoulder. As the name ‘Felicity’ leaves your mouth, Sam groans over dramatically and turns towards you. “You’re seriously still friends with that girl?”
“Duh! She’s my best friend Sam.” 
“Yeah, more like she’s the best at being annoying. She would literally come here every single day after school and you two would talk about whatever girl problems you two had and by the way, I heard everything. The walls are very thin in this house.” Sam opened up the door and began to walk out. “I have no idea how mom and dad even tolerated it because I didn’t! You guys didn’t even listen to me when I complained.” He rants irritably, making his way towards the driveway.
“But she had a troubled home life! I was the only one there for her. And she hasn’t spent the night here since I was in high-school. That was, what, five years ago?” You explained as you followed close behind him. Both of you managed to step onto your father’s, Ron’s, lawn. “You two, I do not like footprints on my grass. Please step onto the very nice path I ever so carefully laid down.” 
“Oh, sorry dad.” You mumbled and retraced your steps. You could practically hear Sam’s eye role as he begrudgingly did the same. “Mom, seriously, could you stop putting jewelry on Mojo? He’s got enough self-esteem issues as a Chihuahua without you pimping him every day.”
Judy frowned at her son. “You know I don’t like for you to use that term,” She scolded. 
“Maybe you should put him back in the dryer, hon.” Ron said playfully. 
You glanced towards your mother with a confused expression. “Wait, that’s how Mojo broke his leg? Mom, you told me he jumped off the counter and fell weird.”
“I– I was ashamed, it’s embarrassing. And It was an accident, Ron! I didn’t know he fell asleep in the laundry basket. You know how hard he is to see sometimes.” Judy reached down and picked up the small dog, cuddling him close to her chest despite Mojo’s frantic means to escape her grasp.  “How’s your little leggy-weggy, huh, tough guy?” She cooed.
Hearing a small buzz come from your phone, you grab it from your pocket and see a message from Felicity. 
‘I’m here nerd :P GET UR ASS OUT HERE!!’ 
“Oh uh, Felicity’s here. I’ll see you guys later. And have fun at your lake party, SAM.” You walk back into the house and hear a cut off ‘shut up’ as you close the door behind you. From the windows at the front of the house, you see that familiar white convertible parked in front of the house and excitedly open the front door, locking it behind you. 
“Hey you! Long time no see.” Felicity said, resting her sunglasses on top of her head. You walk towards the car and open the door to sit inside. “Yeah, it’s certainly been awhile.” You lean over and give Felicity a hug, cringing slightly at the amount of perfume she’s wearing. 
“So how are you? How’s your job?” Pulling away, she starts the car and drives down the neighborhood’s street. “I’m doing alright. I uh
 quit my job. Some stuff happened with another coworker and I just couldn’t work there anymore.” You hesitantly answered, fidgeting with the strap of your purse. 
“Oh snap. Was it like a creepy coworker thing or
” 
“No no, nothing like that. Well I guess
 kinda. It’s complicated. I had no idea what this guy’s problem with me was but he wouldn’t leave me alone! Always harassed me before, during, and after work. I tried to report him to H.R. but since he was positions above me, they just gave him a slap on the wrist.” You paused for a few moments and felt your cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment. “So one morning, I was so pent up I
 hit him. Like punched him, really hard. I’m pretty sure I broke his nose and screwed up my hand really badly. It was a stupid thing, really
” 
Felicity stayed quiet for a few seconds before a smile creeped onto her face. “That is so badass.”
You looked at her dumbfounded. “It was not badass!” 
“It so was! You were like ‘you want a piece of me?! Bam!’ and then the creep went down. I bet he never bothered you again after that, huh?” She quipped, that same dumb smile resting on her face. 
“No, he didn’t. But it cost me my job! It’s just really unprofessional.”
“But didn’t you quit it?”
You sighed. “I quit out of embarrassment, before they would inevitably fire me.”
“Oh. Well, since you’re so smart, I’m confident you’ll find another one. Maybe one without a weirdo guy.” 
“Yeah, I hope so.” You rested your elbow against the hard material on the door and laid your head against your cheek, staring at the passing buildings and people with a mopey expression. You really were disappointed you lost a job that both perfectly matched your interests and paid highly. Maybe after being in L.A. for a few weeks will raise your spirits enough to start job hunting again, and get out of this weird depressive funk that’s been preventing you from doing so. 
Felicity noticed your change in attitude and cleared her throat, changing the subject. “So I’ve been following this one news blog and apparently there are some high tensions between the U.S. and some other countries for some reason. I really hope a war doesn’t start because that would be, like, really bad.” She says, glancing between you and the road ahead of her. 
“Oh yeah,” You sit up again and look at her. “I’ve seen stuff like that on the news. If a war does start, they would start drafting people right?”
Slowly the restaurant came into view and Felicity pulled the car into the parking lot. “Pretty sure, but only boys though. Woohoo for us I guess
 Speaking of boys, how’s Sam doing?” 
“He’s doing fine. He got a car recently, It’s kind of a piece of junk though. And he also still hates you.” 
Felicity laughed as she pulled into an empty parking space. “Yeah I figured. Should I apologize to him? Since I kind of invaded your personal life for a good while.” She turned off the car and stepped out, grabbing her purse. You think about it and eventually nod, also exiting the vehicle. ”He’s annoying for sure but I’m gonna say yes. I care about the both of you and I don’t want any bad tension between you two, as funny as it is.” 
“I’ll remember that. Oh, and when we get in here, only one alcoholic beverage. Cause I am not dragging your drunk ass out of here like last time.” She playfully bumped her shoulder into yours and opened the front door for you. 
“What that– It was my 21st birthday! That’s not fair. I even said I wouldn’t do something like that again.” You argued.
“Riiight, okay. Just get in here.” You rolled your eyes and mumbled a ‘whatever’, to which Felicity chuckled. 
. ʁ₊ âŠč . ʁ ⟡ ʁ . âŠč ₊ ʁ.
It was already night time when you and Felicity were done shopping at the mall. She was a bit of a bad influence considering how overboard you went with the shopping, with her excuse being ‘you’ll probably rarely get chances to visit Cali again so make it worth your while!’ But despite the amount of money you spent, you deemed it worth it considering you found the cutest pair of Uggs. As the two of you walked down the sidewalk, You let out a small sigh as you realized how far away Felicity had actually parked. It was a Saturday night so of course the mall was packed, so it made sense for her to park a block or two away. 
What you both didn’t know was that there was a looming police car in the distance behind you, slowly creeping. 
“Remember that one time in sophomore year when you liked that one jock-y kind of guy and during valentines day, you went up to give him a valentine and literally fell on your face?” You laughed, adjusting the bags in your hands so they wouldn’t be as uncomfortable in your hands.
“Oh my god, that was so embarrassing! It gives me second-hand embarrassment just thinking about it.” Felicity shivered.
“Hey, at least he asked if you were ok, even if he rejected you afterwards
”
“Ugh, can we talk about something else? Please?”
Soon, Felicity’s car came into view and you both crossed the street with urgency. As you put your bags in the backseat and got into the car, your brows furrowed at the police car parked beside the sidewalk you and Felicity were just walking. “Uh, Was that Cop car always there?” You pointed out to your friend. 
“Mm, yeah no. I’m pretty sure he just drove up. He’s probably keeping a look out for thieves or junkies or something.” She replied, starting the car and beginning to pull out of the parking space. “Unless, you’re the thief.” 
You playfully scoffed. “I wouldn’t steal anything!”
“I’m just joshing with you.” Felicity patted your back and drove down the dark street. A few minutes would pass before you would see that same cop car following behind you two from that same far distance as before. You brushed it off, he was probably just driving to get something to eat or go back to the station. But as Felicity turned the car a few more times and the car still didn’t change its direction, you started to get a little anxious. 
“Felicity, that cop car is legitimately following us now.” You mumble, staring into the rear view mirrors with a small pit in your stomach. 
“What? Should I pull over?” She replied in a worried manner. 
“I don’t think so
 He would turn his lights on or–or yell at us to pull over by now.” 
Felicity decided to take a different way to your house and went down a darkened street with almost no streets nor people, to try and maybe lose him. The two of you still kept your eyes on the rear view lights before the car suddenly stopped. It sat there for a few seconds before making a U-turn and going back the way it entered, almost like it was being called by something. You both sighed in relief, “Thank god
” You muttered. 
“That was really weird
 Do you think he was gonna kidnap us or something?” Felicity looked at you with wide eyes.
The thought irked you a bit and you shook your head. “I don’t want to think about it, I just want to go home.”
Felicity nodded understandably and went back onto the regular route to your house. The ride wasn’t that long and as the car drove down your neighborhood’s street, the familiar shape of your family's home came into view. “Thank you for coming to hang out with me, I really missed you. And I’m sorry it ended weird with the whole cop thing
” Felicity said with a small frown on her face. 
You huffed, leaning in and giving her a hug. “It’s okay. At least he left us alone and I got to spend some time with you.” You pulled away and smiled, to which she returned. You reached in the back and grabbed your bags, stepping out and closing the car door with your hip. 
“I’ll call you tomorrow, please get home safe Fel.” 
“Will do, tell your parents I said hi!” With that, Felicity started her car again and drove down the street. You watched her drive away for a few seconds before going into your house. When you opened your door, it was dark and you were pretty sure your parents were asleep. You walked up the stairs and you heard Sam’s muffled talking coming  from his room. Something about how leaving someone behind at the lake wasn’t that big a deal and to ‘get over it.’ 
You snorted and headed towards your room, setting your bags down and closing the door. It was a bit late but you could probably still squeeze a shower in, considering you felt a bit sweaty from walking outside all that time. You took off your shoes and grabbed your towel off of the door, walking back into the hallway and into the bathroom. You didn’t want the shower to be too long considering how late it is so you moved with a sense of urgency, getting out after about 20 minutes. 
After getting into some jammies and aggressively drying your hair with your towel, you flop into bed and sort of reminisce about the past day. While you were really happy you got to see your best friend again, you felt a bit irked out by that cop car following you and Felicity. There really was no rational explanation to justify why that car was following you so it was probably either a creepy guy who stole a police car, or worse, a creepy cop. The thought creeped you out and you sat up, yawning and rubbing your eyes tiredly. Your eyes dart over to under your door and you see a little bit of light that was coming from Sam’s room. That gave you an idea. You grabbed a blanket and a pillow and made your way out of your room. You stopped at Sam’s door and knocked. The sound of approaching footsteps were heard and the door opened, Sam standing there with a neutral expression. “What’s up?” 
“Can I sleep in your room tonight?” You hesitantly asked, honestly feeling a little childish. 
Sam rolled his eyes. “You’re a grown woman, with your own room, and I need my privacy. So if you don't mind—” As he closed the door, you gently stopped it with your hand and gave him a saddened look. “Please Sam, I don’t think I want to be alone right now.” 
His eyes widened slightly and he sighed, opening the door fully and letting you enter. You found an empty spot on the carpeted floor and threw your pillow down, sitting down beside it. “So
 Did something bad happen today?” Sam asked, walking over and sitting on his bed. 
“No—well, yeah I guess. Felicity and I were on our way over here and this cop car was just slowly driving after us. I didn’t think much of it at first until Felicity turned a few times and that car was still behind us. We were panicking and I thought ‘oh my god i’m going to die’ before the creep stopped and turned around. It wasn’t fun, like at all.” As you talked, you laid your head down against your pillow and pulled your blanket over you, looking over at your brother. 
“Oh damn, I’m sorry. That sounds freaky.” Sam said with a frown. 
“Yeah it certainly was. I’m just glad we managed to get out of there without getting hurt or worse
 Anyways, I’m gonna change the subject now. How was the lake party?” 
Sam grinned at the question. “You won’t believe it when I tell you, cause it’s that unbelievable.” 
“Spill.” 
“Mikaela Banes actually got into my car and I drove her home, in my car!” 
You sat up with a bewildered expression. “Bullshit!” 
“I’m serious!” 
The two of you talked and laughed for a little while after that and soon drifted off to sleep, you forgetting about the mildly upsetting events that transpired today. A few hours had passed of peaceful slumber until you heard a car revving and Sam running out his door in a hurry. You were still a bit dazed and your tired mind registered it as nothing, so you quickly fell back to sleep.
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isa-ghost · 8 months ago
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do u have death family headcanons....
NO FUCKING MAMES I HAD 14 OUT OF 15 DONE FOR THIS ASK AND THEN TUMBLR YEETED THEM. I'M GONNA SCREAM AND COMMIT MURDER, IDR THEM ALL. FUCK.
ANYWAY YOU BET YOUR GAY ASS I HAVE DEATH FAMILY HCS.
qPhil headcanons masterlist
Family walks, Chayanne on Phil's shoulders and Lullah on Missa's. Or they do that thing where there's one kid between them and they take either hand and lift/swing them together.
Family gardening. Missa using his reaper scythe to harvest things, Chayanne and Lullah replanting seeds, Phil going full crow brain and hoarding all the harvested crops in crates.
The kids are Phil & Missa's biggest wingmen. Lullah will lead them somewhere and then be like "Oh. Oh nooo, oh noooo my asthmaaaa" and teleport away. And then suddenly there's Chayanne with a table for 2 and an entire kitchen setup with a dinner in progress.
They'll plot "relaxation" days for Phil and Missa too. It's a toss-up if either of them actually relax though. Missa's better at it than Phil at least.
No one cheered harder about the prison kisses than Chayanne and Lullah. They wish their dads a very "do it again. Often."
Phil and Missa are constantly conspiring together about cool things to do with/for the kids. Even when they're away from each other they'll write books leaving the other a message like "shhh don't tell the kids :)"
They'll also plan days Just for one of the kids where whatever the family does is centered around their interests. It's nice for them, because although they have mutual interests and are more than willing to do whatever the other wants, they still have unique interests and it can naturally get tiring being a package deal. Especially when so many of the other eggs are only children and get doted on by their parents with undivided attention
They get separation sadness a lot bc reaper duties and Phil's extremely deep sleep/vivid dreams keep them apart so often, but their little system of leaving gifts (Missa his paintings, Phil misc trinkets) for each other works. It's not as good as a hug or quality time though :(
Everyone's passing each other's accents to one another. Missa finds himself slipping up saying "bewk" (book) or some shit, meanwhile Phil keeps saying stuff with a Spanish accent because of Missa and Lullah and everyone keeps adopting German words into their vocabulary because of Chayanne.
Phil and Missa are both good at pvp, they love sparring with each other and teaching the kids. Chayanne is way more into it than Lullah, but Lullah loves to learn regardless, and she loves hearing Phil infodump about strategy and timing and whatnot.
Missa and the kids will team up and get Phil on one of his Philzaing rants. They'll be like "what do you MEAN you couldn't physically carry all three of us on a flight? :(" and there Phil goes, raving about how weight matters with flying and safety and blah blah blah. And he KNOWS they're getting a rise out of him most of the time. Yet he falls for it every time.
One day,, one day we'll get a 4/4 family build project,,, They want to do it do bad,, So far it's just been 3/4 make it and the 4th is delighted to be shown it by the kids whenever they're around again. (August 2024 Edit: KILLS MYSELF)
Phil and the kids have started half-purposely obtaining as many birds as they have bc it's funny to see Missa come back from reaper duties to MORE birds that he just has to accept live there now.
The kids love Phil's crow murder to death (pun intended) and are used to interacting with them. Missa not so much. Which has made for countless funny moments. He's still bewildered that they're so attuned to throwing something shiny at him and then aggressively cawing. He doesn't understand them like Phil can.
Something something the four of them having a seance together where Lullah taps into her medium abilities to communicate with Kristin bc Goddess of Death is part of the Death Family. She loves to tease Missa (usually about Phil) and she ADORES the kids.
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