#anyways i personally see characters that are not inherently good or bad for more fascinating and captivating then the ones that are

[loserboyfriendrjl]

i think that we often do forget that the black brothers were not inherently good people; they were more or less morally grey, more or less leaning towards the good/bad side. it's hard to fully unlearn beliefs of your family (and i think that many people resonate with this statement, whether we are talking about fictional characters or real, fully-fledged people), and i think that morally grey characters are far more interesting than people who are inherently good or evil.

sirius black

many people (including myself) would say that sirius is leaning more towards the lighter end of the spectrum, given the fact that he actively tried to unlearn his family's beliefs, he ran away from home at the age of sixteen and decided to move in with people who were recognized in the wizarding society as good people, he joined the order as soon as he finished hogwarts, and, even after the unfortunate ending of the first war, he decided to join the order again and stay inside a house that was never a home for him, to ensure the safety of himself, the order, and harry, too. his last act was the attack at the ministry where he found himself, despite the fact that he was supposed to stay inside grimmauld place, and where he died.

however, we cannot deny that sirius, too, had slip-ups. one of them was the prank (to review what happened, essentially, he told snape how to get past the whomping willow, therefore revealing remus' secret to him). in this situation, sirius shows recklessness and a lack of thought towards the consequences that his actions could have towards not only himself, but severus snape and remus, too. his behavior showed a lack of altruism, and a lack of consideration for the people around him, being willing to put them in danger for whatever may have been the reason.

another one would be swm (snape's worst memory), where james is a part of the action too, but the tormenting of snape was unjustified (j&s started the fight, and snape responded) and ended badly. now, i am in no way a defender of severus snape's, but both j&s and him were acting based on either boredom (the aforementioned) and a need for revenge caused by the actions that had happened against him (the latter).

in canon, we are also shown that he does not exactly think the words he says, and the effect they have on people. (“You're less like your father than I thought.” — GoF). i think that sirius had no right to say this to harry, who was just trying to make sure that sirius would be safe. what we need to remember is that, by the time of the action of GoF took place, sirius was still on the run, and the ministry was still looking for him; it would have been dangerous for both him and harry (and whoever might have joined them) to go out of hiding and go meet up somewhere near hogwarts (hogsmeade). harry's response to sirius' request was logical, and sirius' response was reckless and not well-thought.

regulus black

we do not have enough information on regulus to fully state on which side of the spectrum he finds himself on. however, he was known to have held the same beliefs that his parents did and to be an open voldemort supporter (The Slytherin colours of emerald and silver were everywhere, draping the bed, the walls and the windows. The Black Family crest was painstakingly painted over the bed, along with its motto Toujours Pur. Beneath this was a collection of yellow newspaper cuttings (of voldemort), all stuck together to make a ragged collage.)

therefore, to some extent, we can safely assume that he held the same beliefs as him (and, implicitly, his parents). the voldemort collage might have been on the wall for either research purposes or an act of devotion (this interesting perspective has been added by @/werewolfenthusiast) we cannot be sure; however, i am inclined to think that it might have been a mixture of both.

furthermore, i think the fact that regulus only started actively betraying and going against voldemort only after voldemort's actions had direct consequences on him and the ones he loved — kreacher, and this is shown in two acts; (wording taken off the hp wiki)

After becoming a Death Eater, Regulus began to consider abandoning Lord Voldemort, partly because his master mistreated and intended to kill the Black family's loyal house-elf Kreacher whilst setting up the security measures for one of his Horcruxes.

One day, Voldemort asked Regulus for the use of his house-elf, Kreacher and Regulus eagerly accepted as he wanted to please his master. Voldemort used Kreacher to test the defences around his locket Horcrux, leaving him to die afterwards. Kreacher was able to escape using house-elf magic and told Regulus of what had happened. Regulus worked out that the locket was a Horcrux and was the reason behind Voldemort's immortality. This was the deciding factor in Regulus's defection.

therefore, regulus has been shown to feel remorse and to start to realize the lenghts lord voldemort would go through only when his family (implicitly, his house-elf) were targeted. however, by researching horcruxes and trying to destroy one of them, regulus (un)willingly helped the wizarding world towards voldemort's fall.

all in all, the black brothers are two complex characters who, to some extent, held their family's beliefs and values. whether they had actively tried to unlearn them (sirius) or their betrayal was slow and silent (regulus), and neither of them can be fit in the category of inherently good or bad people.

[j-partneringrime]

tr!aimsey is such an interesting character especially their relationship with death, they’re someone who has become so intrinsically linked with death, starting as a morbid fascination with learning more about it which became more and more obsessive until he eventually overstepped trying to directly mess with it. And now it is a more desperate fascination with it and specifically trying to figure out how to reach it for themselves which unlike the normal curiosity that they went too far with, this is the opposite, a much more serious and desperate curiosity which he have basically given up on trying to figure out at this point. Because once death wants something, it gets it, which normally isn’t that big a deal because death normally wants you to die, which is gonna happen eventually, so no big deal. But if you mess with death too much and it decides it doesn’t want you anymore, that isn’t as simple, death actually gets to show its power, so it takes your magic you used to disrupt it to begin with, but that’s not enough for death, so it gives you immortality, or more accurately curses you with never dying since they can still feel the pain and the dying but without any of the relief of death and the pain stays with them even after coming back, with the burns from losing her magic, losing his eye from the enderman/creeper and now the sword slash from ros. They had nothing anymore except their studies and so she put everything into necromancy and learning more about death, and they did good, they got close, so close that death didn’t like it, so then they truly had nothing, not even their magic, they lost everything, even the one thing you always have in life, the certainty of death, was gone.

That could make you become such a deeply lonely person, I mean imagine if you lost everything, had no one, not even death itself wanted you, that would mess you up, but she has had a long time to come to terms with it and grow from it, which also means she’s one of the most intelligent, especially emotionally intelligent, people, which meant that when they did get close to people again, they were a massive help for advice and help for their friends, which is good for their friends but also for aimsey themself, having that connection that they need after so long, having meaningful talks gives a connection you can’t explain, even if those meaningful talks are mostly one way, since aimsey is very secretive about themself and her past and almost refuses to say anything about herself and dismisses any attempt to try to get him to open up, but even with all that, it is still massively helpful for a character who needs connection so much.

Until eventually his friends, especially tr!ros get too strong an idea in her head on what they should do or what she “needs” to do that even though she’s still coming everyday for advice, she doesn’t seem to actually be listening anymore, it didn’t matter how many times they tried to help ros, she just wouldn’t budge from this inherently flawed idea that she is convinced will help her, and everyone else, which isn’t just bad for ros but also for aimsey, who has needed this connection so much and has begun to rely on it, even if it’s annoying that he’s seemingly the only person who actually has common sense or foresight with how much advice she’s having to give out, they’ve gotten used to being able to express their thoughts and opinions on situations and having their friends listen and care so seeing that they’re no longer really listening and are just doing their own ideas anyway would really hurt. Trying to help and make plans to help ros, only to show up the next day and find out she hasn’t actually listened and just took what aimsey said and used their plan instantly without seeing that that wasn’t the actual plan aimsey said to her. So the advice and talks eventually became more desperate trying to get through to ros because this isn’t her, this is her getting tired of what’s happening and needing to fix it so forming an entire idea in her head without seeing that this idea wouldn’t work and already isn’t working because she needs it to work, so it didn’t matter how much aimsey tried to get through to her, it wouldn’t work, until eventually they talk about where this idea in ros’s head is rooted, which is respect, the idea that if she can get them to respect her, they’ll stop, which she is going about doing by making them fear her, even though fear and respect are vastly different things. And aimsey says that to her which leads to the most important question they’ve had, would ros kill aimsey to get everyone to respect and or fear her, and when aimsey asks ros this, their closest friend, the person they trust more than anything, the person they can count on, that they can both count on each other to pull each other back, to save each other from themselves, they ask ros… and ros hesitates, and that’s all they need to know, the fact that ros could hesitate means that in her head there is a part of her that would and that part just seems to be getting bigger and bigger the more she spirals in this idea of respect. And then ros says no, which as much as she says it, isn’t the truth, the truth is she doesn’t know if she would or not, and that’s the worst part, not only would she consider doing it but she won’t admit it, to aimsey or herself, they’re supposed to be helping each other and ros instead of being honest and saying she doesn’t know, lies and says no, of course not, she could never hurt him, which is of course coming from a place of love for aimsey and not wanting to ever think about and especially not say they’d ever hurt her, but to someone as perceptive as aimsey, they can clearly tell ros is conflicted on it and even though know they know ros is a good person, of course she is obviously, that was never in question, but even knowing what a truly kind person ros is, that doesn’t change the pain learning something like that has. So aimsey pulls them up on it and makes ros confront that side of her, for good or bad doesn’t matter, because it needs to happen to help ros, one way or the other, and so they convince her to fight, which or course ros tries to argue about but still tries to make aimsey see her side of it, still not seeing that her side doesn’t really exist, it’s just a desperate attempt to stop the fighting by any means, by any cost, not seeing that no fighting, no threats should ever make them turn on each other, would ever make aimsey turn on ros, especially not to gain some form of respect from the people they already don’t like. Ros is too caught up in protecting her friends that she can’t see her friends don’t need protecting, aimsey doesn’t need protecting.

And you can see how deeply this is affecting aimsey because they’re talk about how they’re glad they chose to be alone, they’re with their best friend and they’re saying how they’re glad to be alone, because right now this isn’t their best friend, or at least not that they can recognise right now, because he has spoke so much about how everyone is killing just to kill and how that is one of, if not the, biggest problems they have with them, so for ros to now believe that she needs to do that to aimsey to “protect” them and gain respect from others, even though she already has aimsey’s and the kingdom’s respect (mostly), is obviously gonna be upsetting for aimsey and a massive loss of trust. And they start fighting, they both swing, and then they both swing again, then aimsey stops and ros swings again and then ros swings one last time and aimsey is dead, but of course, it doesn’t last. Because if one of them was gonna die, they’d rather it be themselves, if that’s because they can’t actually die or because they can’t bring themselves to kill ros, we don’t know (although it’s probably almost definitely both). But either way ros still doesn’t get to live, because she killed aimsey and death doesn’t want that happening, the past times it’s been a mob but this time it’s a player, and they won’t allow that to happen, so it instantly makes one of its already dead kill ros… instantly, because you don’t mess with death or the ones death has already chosen to punish itself. And after the fight, his relationship with death comes back up, with her asking, basically begging, death to let them go and just let them die, but of course, they were denied again, because even after all that with ros, they still can’t have anything, everything they want always so close yet so far, always. And then after they both parted ways after the fight, aimsey when thinking about going to ros, thinks ros won’t want to see them, instead of themself not wanting to see her, after the fight, he doesn’t stew in what ros did and get angry, he just kinda goes crazy (and high and poisoned), both because of what happened with ros and also probably experiencing death again. Because even though, they just fought and definitely lost a lot of trust in each other, they still care about each other and want to protect each other above all else, because the amount of trust they have in each other, one fight, no matter how big, will change that. tr!aimsey is SUCH an interesting and compelling character, and their relationship with death and tr!ros especially is amazing! I can’t wait to see what happens next.

(this is mainly about tr!aimsey so tr!ros comes off a bit bad from their arguments, but I promise I think tr!ros is a genuinely good person, just conflicted right now and she is also an amazing and interesting character)

[sepublic]

            I find it interesting that even in the epilogue, four years after Camila has had time to be more acquainted with the Boiling Isles under non-threatening circumstances, she’s still creeped out by it. And this is fine! The narrative isn’t condemning her for it. It’s not demanding that she enjoy these things like Luz does; It’s just asking for her to respect its existence, and to support Luz’s interest in it and love her too.

            In For the Future, we see Camila horrified by what she encounters in the Boiling Isles; But she also spends the whole episode pushing through it anyway for Luz’s sake, being there for her as much as she can. Because she knows these are just feelings and nothing more, and she’s choosing to be kind in spite of them.

            By contrast, in this same episode we find out Belos does feel empathy and guilt towards his brother and nephew, he wasn’t purely 100% only interested in what they could do for him; And yet, he’s still just as cruel and violent towards them. He’s still cruel and violent towards witches and demons, sometimes using the ‘tragedy’ of Caleb as a justification. Hell, he even resents the ghosts for making him feel guilty, telling them to “Shut up.”

            Isn’t that fascinating? Disgust is portrayed as a morally neutral thing. It’s not an indictator of morality, it doesn’t mean something is bad… But it doesn’t mean the person who feels it is bad, either, people don’t consider that enough. It’s just a gut reaction. Sometimes people have internalized biases they need to work through, but other times, it’s pretty harmless as long as they’re self-aware and don’t do anything bad over it; This even applies to the process of unlearning the aforementioned biases.

            Likewise, empathy and guilt don’t actually, necessarily make you a good person. The example with Belos shows how some people will actually be crueler because of empathy, because they resent people for being upset, and thus making them feel upset because they naturally empathize. Hence those who get angry at people in pain and need for “ruining their vibe,” because now they feel bad too.

            There’s a juxtaposition in how Camila seems genuinely more scared and creeped out by the isles on a visceral level than Belos, and yet Camila has the common sense to still respect and fight for its existence; Whereas Belos chooses to make a mountain out of a molehill because it’s not just hatred, it’s pride. It all boils down to his ego at the end of the day. In many ways, other characters struggle with dilemmas more difficult than Belos’, yet still do better than he ever has.

            This all plays into my thesis that TOH is arguing your feelings are secondary to your actions, and that the latter is what decides whether you’re a “good” person or not. In the end, someone who’s had a good life and was a dick for selfish reasons, only to choose to be better, is more sympathetic and morally superior than someone who suffered a million unfair grievances, and proceeded to dole out a million unfair grievances, with no sign of stopping; Especially from an IRL perspective, and I think our IRL feelings sometimes influence how we engage with media, and vice-versa.

            That’s why the finale –and the show as a whole– emphasizes choices, over inherent, instinctual feelings. A decent chunk of Camila’s arc could be summarized by the word Squick; In the sense that it’s meant to describe things that one feels personal disgust and discomfort towards, but otherwise has no moral condemnation or problem with; It’s just a Me thing, is the point of Squick. Camila is like that sex-repulsed ace who nevertheless supports kink at Pride.

            That gets me to how my ruminations were prompted by a similar observation; How some people lump sex-repulsed aces in with the oppressive Puritans who hate sex in anything, but that’s not true at all. Obviously there’s the rare Exception, but as a whole, sex-repulsed aces are on the side of other queers who ARE sexual and are demanding to let these things be normalized; It’s not for them, but they have no moral condemnation and will fight for it in solidarity anyway, especially since both are hated by the system regardless. Sound familiar?

[eye-may]

Do you have any Munkustrap headcanons mayhaps? The people would love to hear it if you do <3

I was waiting for someone to ask about Munkustrap!!! granted I would have yammered about him unprompted eventually anyway but YAY!

pls accept this speedy doodle of Munk having, what I imagine is one of very many, serious conversations (tm) with with his protegee Alonzo <3

"alonzo I told you the kittens could not watch terrifier 3. I say the things I say for a reason. now neither of us will be able to sleep for a week."

all kidding aside, yesss I have a LOT of thoughts about Munkustrap and how he and his story drive a lot of things that happen in my fanverse lol. I'll keep it relatively brief for now because if I don't moderate myself I'll end up writing 100k words worth of incomprehensible diatribe. somewhat abridged yammering beneath the cut!

edit: this mostly ended up being formatted in extensive elucidations on his relationships with other cats, with references to his backstory through that...which I hope isn't baffling lmao hopefully yall can make sense of it

✨Personality

My Munkustrap is pretty heavily based off of 98's Gruberstrap. That is to say, he's a very "warm" version of the character, a softer and more patient leader compared to some other interpretations where he errs on the side of strict and stringent.

Munk has a pretty troubled background (not unlike Tugger and Alonzo), but I place his symbolic age at around 30-35 so that he's still young and has things to learn and growing to do, but still old enough to have already matured and wizened up past a matrix of self-destructive idiosyncrasies he has dealt with in the past. He may not fully realize it, but he wasn't entirely dissimilar to Tugger in his adolescent days (at least, insofar as feeling governed by his emotions). The temporal distance from his early youth has enabled him to mellow out, think more clearly, and capitalize on his better attributes such as decisiveness, a good grasp on strategizing, and being empathetic and caring.

He is, of course, known to be a straight arrow...that is to say, very about rules and order, following traditions, establishing a hierarchy, having respect for authority and elders, etc. However, he is not immune to lightheartedness and joking around. He's a good, gentle playmate with the kittens on occasion. He lives for directing plays (although subversively he might take them a little too seriously sometimes lmao). He definitely lets a Dad Joke slip out every once in a while. He can read and write, and is pretty erudite about a handful of subjects that extend beyond life in the Junkyard. He's a pretty well-rounded chap!

He's not particularly spiritual or mystical, but has always been fascinated by the mysticism inherent in felinity, and has a unique connection to the concept of magic due to his connection with Old Deuteronomy. He's more naturally attuned to felinity in every corporeal sense, and has strong and thoroughly-developed opinions about the meaningfulness of Jelliclehood along with its history and customs.

He's gentlemanly and intelligent, courageous and dignified, so a pretty archetypal 'leader/hero' character. his faults are brought out by adversity with which he is not familiar...as someone who prefers adhering to precedent and keeping everything in order, he feels very challenged by untrodden territory. While he's good at thinking on his feet, he's also prone to overthinking after the action, and letting that repressed sentimental side from yesteryears cloud his approach. When he's feeling menaced by uncertainty, you'll see those cognitions buoy to the surface...overprotectiveness, stubbornness (sometimes he's bad at listening to suggestions!), over-intensity, and over-worry that he tries his darndest to conceal. He may periodically fall into lapses of "work-life imbalance," for turn of phrase (feels weird because we're talking about mystical dancing singing cats but you get it).

Perhaps his biggest fault is difficulty ceding control. There is no bigger control freak in the Junkyard, even though many would probably assume that the title goes to Jenny. Jenny is more ostentatious in her form of leadership, yes, but Munkustrap is far more immoderate when it comes to judging what he can feasibly handle. Bearing the weight of the world on your shoulders, after all, does not a healthy habitude make. Munkustrap's elders...namely Jennanydots and Old Deutoronomy...occasionally remind him of that.

He also perpetually Tired (but doesn't show it!) and, despite maintaining his veneer of cool-headedness, does in fact Have Anxiety lol.

🫂 Notes on Relationships

Tugger - They are half-brothers, and symbolically, there's about 10-15 years between them. So the age gap is significant, but Munkustrap isn't exactly old enough to be his father (try as he might to parent him in the frequent absence of Old Deutoronomy). Truly the Annoying Younger Brother Ever, Tugger gets on his nerves faster and more effectively than just about anybody in his life. Granted, their pasts respective of each other aren't the most conducive towards a harmonious, peaceful relationship, but the same circumstances are what make their bond so close and significant. If it weren't for Munkustrap extending the olive branch to a very misled young Tugger, the latter would have never been able to severe himself from Macavity. Meanwhile, Tugger's effects on Munkustrap are less literal and obvious but just as significant. He acts as a looser, more optimistically nihilistic buffer to Munk's razor-sharp edges, and frequently functions as a catalyst for Munkustrap to unearth a bevy of feelings and emotions he's long been in the habit of smothering. They frequently bicker and frustrate each other, yes, but they know how to work with one another when it counts, and they love each other very much.

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Old Deuteronomy - Munk is one of a few examples of a child of Deuteronomy who was raised primarily by the latter; among cats, it's frankly more common for those born into colonies to have been "raised by the village." Munkustrap has always been very close to his father, has bottomless admiration for him, and abides by his platitudes unquestioningly. Deuteronomy recognized a unique fervor and emotional vulnerability in a young Munkustrap and allowed the latter to attach himself inextricably to him. it's because of this connection, and Munkustrap's unconditional adulation of his father, that Tugger has traduced him as being a rather ideal "little soldier."

After a huge fallout with Macavity (whole thing it's a WHOLE THING), Old Deuteronomy took Munkustrap and his other followers (including Skimble, Jenny, Jelly, Gus, and Asparagus) and splintered away from the colony, going onto to establish the Jellicle colony that inhabits the Junkyard, as seen in the actual musical. For a while, the group focused on rebuilding and recuperating, and succeeded harmoniously. but, after a while when the reconstructed colony was comfortably settled, Deuteronomy became more of an itinerant than Munkustrap had ever known him to be, coming and going patternlessly. Munkustrap knows that he can always attempt to reach out to Old Deutoronomy (there's a postal system cats use...again...whole other thing) in times of need (i.e., when Munkustrap learned about Tugger being in Macavity's possession) but at that point, Munkustrap became established as the de facto Secondary Leader and had to establish himself as capable and independent. He never outwardly questions what Deutoronomy is up to when he's away on his long sojourns to Who Knows Where...but he's never one to question his father. (Tugger, on the other hand...)

Macavity - Macavity is symbolically around five-ish years older than Munkustrap. Closer in age than Tugger and Munk, but the gap is still significant. Munkustrap was born into the same colony as Macavity, and the two did share a portion of their respective childhoods together; Munkustrap being, of course, rather worshipful of Macavity as a kitten. Macavity, for his part, engaged with Munkustrap, and the latter retains fond memories of their interactions...but he also remembers how, with the clarity of hindsight, Macavity seemed to "troubled" back then. He was a bit moody, but that's not wholly unusual for an adolescent cat! More uniquely, he seemed oddly attune to the Jellicle Moon...an evidently Mystical characteristic. He often sought solitude and was reclusive, cagey, secretive, and was obsessed with his developing his mysticism and harvesting magic of Deuteronomy's ilk.

Ultimately, Macavity attempted to persuade Munkustrap to join him in a staged rebellion against Old Deuteronomy; but, even at such a tender age, Munk knew better than to be cajoled, and ultimately sided with his father. He tried in earnest to talk Macavity out of his pursuit of power, but of course...it was fruitless. And the ramifications were abominable. Ultimately, Macavity attempted something of a mutiny that resulted in the deaths of Munkustrap's mother, his two littermates, and the injury or loss of many of his friends and cats he considered to be family. To this day, Munkustrap blames himself for knowing of Macavity's designs, but underestimating him and failing to prevent the disaster. He vowed to never allow such calamity to befall his loved ones again, which manifests in the fiercely protective persona for which he's known. Whatever love existed between the two brothers has been seemingly lost to time; Munkustrap has grown past his bitterness, anger, and desire for retribution...but what's left in the wake are sadness, regret, and wariness.

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Mistoffelees - The youngest of the protag trifecta of Munkustrap/Tugger/Mistoffelees (for purposes of not getting lost in the sauce, they are, in my mind, the Kirk/Spock/Bones so to speak), Mistoffelees is something of a little brother/son/protegee ??? person??? to Munkustrap. Their relationship is a little hard to compartmentalize, but it's warm and familial all the same. Munkustrap sort of supplies to Mistoffelees what Deuteronomy was to Munkustrap. The magical cat, of course, is far from the first youngun to ever stumble into Jellicle territory in need of reprieve, but usually raising the new arrivals is a village effort. And it still was for Mistoffelees, but Munkustrap zeroed in on him in particular for two major reasons: his inexpendably cathartic effect on Tugger, and the whole Being Magical. Munkustrap remembered, of course, the quixotic fascination his older brother had with magic and the legends surrounding it, and his own proclivities towards harvesting and using it, but Munk was not prejudicial towards Mistoffelees because of that. He knew from the onset that Mistoffelees and Macavity are incomparable, and wanted to make sure that Mistoffelees would never lose touch with the goodness at his core. He also wanted to solidify that Mistoffelees would not be treated differently because of his abilities, but would get to enjoy a normal and secure upbringing. Also...he intuited immediately that it was important for Macavity to Not Find Out about this inexplicably magical cat. (Magical Cats aren't exactly unheard of but they're really not...supposed to be able to exist anymore lmao)

In return for Munkustrap's warmth and extensions of care and friendship, Mistoffelees has always been eager to be helpful and useful, and often functions as a "right-hand man" for the Jellicle Protector in many of the banalities of life in the Junkyard. Despite his aloofness and eccentricities, Mistoffelees has always sought to please and prove himself to Munkustrap, despite the fact Munkustrap has always had confidence in him and never required proof or reassurance that the conjurer was someone he could trust and rely on. hhhhh idk their relationship is cute to me!!! they're cute!!!!

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Alonzo - Alonzo and Munkustrap have a lot in common...like Munkustrap, Alonzo's early youth was peppered by loss and grief, disasters outside the scope of his control for which he still blames himself. Also like Munkustrap, it is because of these developments that Alonzo has sworn himself to be a protector for all those he holds dear. But, unlike Munkustrap, Alonzo is heavily saddled with endless self-doubt, self-flagellation, and fear. He's around Tugger's age, and Munkustrap recognizes how much learning and growing he needs to do, but also recognizes the drive and intensity propelling him towards becoming either a mess of self-destruction, or a rocksteady protector and friend on whom others can rely. Munkustrap instinctively took Alonzo under his wing, becoming his unofficial mentor, and is pretty much the only cat toward whom Alonzo is open and affectionate. The latter often goes to Munkustrap in times of doubt and fear, but also focuses on impressing and emulating the Jellicle Protector in any way he can. When it comes to being backed up during an altercation, or any matters concerning the security and safety of the colony, Munkustrap knows he can rely on Alonzo above anybody else to back him up. The two are very brotherly and familial with one another, and together make a duo that I, personally, would not fuck with.

Also, importantly, Alonzo supplies a sort of catharsis for Munkustrap as well. While the Protector may not realize it, being able to guide and mentor Alonzo functions as something like reparation for his own past failures; now he's able to pass on the lessons he's learned so that Alonzo won't make the same mistakes he made, and Alonzo being his protegee reassures him that he's capable of positively influence those who are in his care. (which he doesn't often conscientiously doubt, but losing his family instills fear in the back of his head that he'll fuck up in any way with his new family, a fear that's usually surfaced in conjunction with Tugger)

Jenny - She is a surrogate mother figure to Munkustrap, and one of the only cats to whom he yields his absolution of authority in the absence of Deuteronomy. (not unlike the way Kirk often has to cede to McCoy...two star trek references in one post about cats??) He's known her his entire life, and she has always been a source of comfort and guidance towards him that is similar, yet still different, in comparison to Deuteronomy. I like to think Jenny is one of the few cats that Munkustrap would ever go to for advice or consolation, and also one of the few cats who will openly question his approaches or point out his shortcomings. (it comes from a place of love!) Munkustrap also just thinks she's hilarious. A heavily burdened cat like him needs the unique combination of comfort and levity that a cat like Jennyanydots can provide! together they have a lovely rapport <3

-

(here comes the somewhat controversial takes pfffttt. you can flame me if you want idc it's the internet and I know what I signed up for lmao but if you are a demestrap purist who may become emotionally compromised by the suggestion that a romantic connection between the two is Not A Given, feel free to skip this part)

Demeter - listen. I know you're wondering but I'm going to keep it short for now okay. suffice it to say, they have a bit of a back-and-forth, so to speak, mostly stemming from Demeter trying to navigate the residual damage of her troubled past (and.....present) but. my version of Munkustrap is on the aroace spectrum (hides) and so instinctively doesn't move in on Demeter out of an impulse to "rescue" or "fix" her. And for her part, whenever she does indicate an interest in anybody, it's not like she's driven by a long-sufferer's Need For True Love. And even if it were, I'd lampshade that as Not A Good Basis For A Relationship. like idk it's a complicated thing, but regardless, I think she's a fascinating character on her own, far outside the realm of her sensuality and her relationships with the male characters lol.

So continuing, Munkustrap doesn't overstep the fact that she's an adult who can make her own decisions, and also he can see with his own eyeballs that she errs on the side of indecisive regarding her estimation of Macavity, and morality in general, and his mind is not clouded with "I Am A Straight Man In The Presence Of A Beautiful Woman" so as to persuade him to, for some reason, insist that she's not capable of making poor decisions, and trust her judgment above anybody else's in a comparable situation. He, of course, would like to help her, within reason, like he would like to help any cat who expresses interest in being a part of the colony and embracing the mores of Jelliclehood. And he is, of course, kind and helpful towards her because that's the kind of cat he is. and it has nothing to do with an urge to romance her. 😬 or protect her with anomalous fervency because She's Just A Girl (honestly idc about any implications regarding gender roles that have wormed their ways into various versions of CATS bc these are CATS and they lack culturally gendered expectations/roles and also they lack secondary sex characteristics)

because Demeter is rather flighty and cagey, and Munkustrap is a Busy Bee, it takes a while for the two of them to even really become friends, and when they do, there are still some ups and downs granted by a bevy of contrasting opinions/idiosyncrasies endemic to the respective characters. Once he gets to actually know her, Munkustrap does believe in Demeter and encourages her to make progress, but he doesn't hover over her or fuss over her more than he does any other of his adult friends lmao. in the few instances that she behaves in a sensual manner towards him, he's like...ig open to it, but again, he's on the aroace spectrum and navigates those kind of connections within that realm, which To Me means that, in his case, he's never governed by romantic, sensual, or sexual impulses/attractions. bc listen. I just love a male hero who is not ultimately fulfilled by A Woman's Love and Having Children (those things are great for some people!!! pls don't think I am suggesting otherwise lmaooooo)

if it seems like these past few paragraphs have a defensive tone...it may be because I operate in anticipation of being condemned by passionate shippers (and also I too am on the aroace spectrum and thats not for nothing lol) but like I said it's the internet and ik what I signed up for. I have nothing against believers in demestrap. not to mention that yk, hal.........it's about cats.

anyway!!!! Munkustrap has a meaningful relationship with everyone at the Junkyard, but I'm gonna stop here for now lol. I could write a passage for every possible combination of every possible pairing of cats but I have already gone beyond the scope I originally imagined pfft. I hope this gives an adequate enough glimpse into how I construe him and his personality and a little bit of his backstory. sorry if's confusing af, or if I focused too much on other cats. also I alluded to a few things that I'm not even sure I've expanded on before. but if you made it through this whole thing and if you care at all about my fanverse pls don't hesitate to ask for expansion or clarification on anything

ty for the ask!! <3

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

ok the askbox is open. im taking this opportunity to say ohhhhh im going crazy over the narrative constructed here. specifically with how audience (anon) interaction is intertwined with the main conflict.

because its like.. we are inherently a BAD THING. yes, some of us are actually malicious, but even if we do have kind intentions, and only want the best for ragatha.. just being there is a negative impact that outweighs any positives. we are a parasite, after all. and technically, the only positive action we could do is to simply.. stop engaging. leave the askblog alone. leave ragatha alone. except we could never do that, because we're too curious now, too attached- we want to see how the story continues, how it ends. we cant leave well enough alone, we just have to know. we need to know. so the cycle will continue nonetheless due to our nature. and we have to watch as our main character, the person we're rooting for, gets worse and worse. knowing that its our fault, because we're choosing to engage. we're choosing this path of pain. because we're curious, and that curiosity would kill us if we didn't feed it.

and of course its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things lol. no hate btw. im here enjoying it after all! though honestly i say that like this had any opportunity of existing outside of the askblog genre... or even the tumblr landscape itself- i feel like the anon feature itself is also a big part of this sort of narrative, as it allows those actively malicious anons to be even nastier. because it distances us from our actions. like.. we're given a mask, something that obscures our true identities (both to the other askers.. and to ragatha to an extent, as most all look the same to her. who knows, maybe that one supportive anon trying to cheer her up is the same one also encouraging her downfall! she cant tell!)- a thing that wipes our hands free of any consequences. a chance to become faceless and untraceable- so of course some people will indulge. be as horrible as possible. because, hey, its not like you'll be getting any consequences for it! no way to trace it back to you! no way to be held accountable! you can just sit back and watch the fire you made grow higher. more bright. thats the main goal, after all- to make a spectacle! to move the story along and make it exciting! thats the only thing that matters to you. that its entertaining. not the people you'll be harming in the process.

anyways sorry for the fucking. essay. in your askbox. i like talking and also i fucking love dissecting meta-aligned narratives like this. gggrrggrgrgrrrr chewing on this blog like a chewtoy. i hope everyone gets worse and this whole blog blows up!!!!!!!

i can't stop giggling at ' its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things ' . this was really originally supposed to just be a silly blog with little story but here we are . you really won't get this anywhere else

i get pretty happy when someone dissects this silly thing so no need to apologize !! i'm my own harshest critic when it comes to this blog so it's often difficult for me to grasp what meaning people get out of this lol truly thank you guys for wanting to see my insane , Unhinged ideas come through

and i love the dissection on the mean anons - a lot of this thing hinges on actions having consequences after all ! every little thing will have an impact on ragatha's mental state . i'll say i think the anons have potential to not be as harmful - as there was a point in the blog's time where they acted more like inner therapists to ragatha than reality-bending beings of chaos ( good times ) . it just really depends on being patient with an actually mentally ill person like ragatha - it does fascinate me how people's frustration with her echoes real life mental health situations .

but yeah thanks !!! i'll be kissing this essay and pinning it on the refrigerator that i call my brain (:

[eleanoroliphant]

laura,,,, what’s your take on season 5? what were your ups and downs and what is your overall opinion?

i'm aware and so sorry i'm horribly late with this, i didn't realise i forgot about this ask until i did my season 5 rewatch. sorry again!

in case you're still interested (which you probably aren't!)

i comparatively liked season 5 because fred wasn't in it. i always thought serena was the better character (character doesn't equal person, although she's probably also a better person), and strahovski the better actor, between the waterfords, and i couldn't stand watching fiennes anymore. the fact that he wasn't around allowed me to enjoy season 5 more than i did 3 and 4.

unfortunately, just because i found the show was better it doesn't mean it's good anymore. it's desperately trying to be game of thrones and it's not. at this point, i see it as a soap with some dystopia used as background. the world building has gone down the toilet (what do you MEAN no one's ever seen the girls in purple? did gilead just invent this new color code or were they blind?), no one's believable anymore, laws are simply made up as we go.

i don't buy nick as ambiguous any more than i did in earlier seasons, which was little anyway. no one seems to notice he has nothing of the bigot or religious extremist he should be and he's just a thoroughly good person who doesn't belong in there. and characters who are supposed to have more urgent matters to deal with will just randomly have conversations on how much he and june love each other like it's a bridgerton novel.

lawrence is one of the biggest disappointments. not that i hate him, but he's become just a completely good man now, you can tell the writers love his one liners so much that they've resorted to completely erase his complexity and forget the fact that he came up with some of the most horrible stuff in the state. the audience already love to blame it all on serena anyway, and there's nothing bruce miller likes more than villainising her while absolving every single man around her from his crimes.

lydia should be much more fascinating but just like the flashback episode about her did nothing to explain her conversion i don't see why the new events would believably bring her to reason now rather than earlier. the girls were already in terrible pain before. what's changed?

and then there are june's plot armour and closeups, both a joke at this point. moss is very good and her struggle between being an inherently good person but also a traumatized survivor is great television, but the show suffers from spending all that time with her. the commanders can't seem to have any other topics to discuss. she can't possibly be the only handmaid who's smart, mad and resourceful enough to be a danger.

and when was the last time moira was allowed to do something relevant? it's bad enough that black people tend to die on this show, the ones that are still alive have little to do apart from supporting june and probably eventually dying so she can have the romantic endgame the fans want.

overall i'm stuck with this show, especially serena and lawrence (well, and mark) tbqh with you, i will definitely be watching the final season, but i found the testaments to be terrible so i also kind of can't wait to be done with it.

i am terribly sorry again and i hope you're doing well! xx

[captorations]

just saw someone criticize tlt for having too many epithets and. that is. the worst take i have seen in a long time. tell me you have fanfic brain poisoning without telling me you have fanfic brain poisoning.

look, i'm firmly on the side of being careful with epithets. it's actually a pet peeve of mine. seeing people repeatedly referred to by their hair colors or race or other physical descriptors is the fastest way to get me to close a book or hit the back button on a fic, far more so than grammatical errors or the like. that's not because of the epithets, but because of how they're being misused.

it is possible to use epithets just for variety, but that should be kept to an absolute minimum. a far more valid use of epithets is to draw attention to traits which are currently relevant. if one character is being manhandled by another, referring to the former as the smaller one, or the latter as the larger one, or even vice versa depending on context, is an excellent form of imagery. but that's a relatively pedestrian use. effective and useful, but not necessarily powerful; not phrases you can build stories around.

but you can build stories around epithets, because the best possible use of epithets in fiction is to tell you what the pov character is thinking, or not thinking, without saying it directly. it's one of the most powerful methods of showing rather than telling.

the first time gideon calls harrow "her necromancer" in tlt is crucial. it's blink-and-you-miss-it, but it marks the first time gideon sees harrow as hers. which is both negative, in that it's possessive, and positive, in that it means she actually fucking cares! which before then, and for a good long while after, she couldn't consciously admit to herself, much less harrow!

for the record, gideon first calls harrow her necromancer after having spent days wrestling with herself over whether she should care about harrow being apparently missing, wavering back and forth before giving in and searching for her, and eventually finding her unconscious because harrow is a moron who kept working until she passed out in a haunted basement. gideon calls harrow her necromancer as she is carrying her, having confirmed that she is unharmed but dehydrated and having just seen her briefly struggle back to consciousness for the express purpose of bitching at someone.

every time it is used thereafter, it carries the weight of every time it has been said previously. the necromancer-cavalier dynamic in the world of tlt is fascinating, both on a conceptual level and in every example we are given. hell, it's the closest thing their society has to gender roles, but that's another essay, and a very pretentious one i have no intention of writing.

tlt is a master class in using epithets correctly. again, if you're just so fucking sick of epithets being misused in fanwork, i get it. i'm right there with you. but epithets are not inherently bad, no more than alliteration is, or goddamn semicolons.

on the other hand, if the person meant the silly nicknames gideon keeps giving harrow, then i'm even more baffled. at that point you just have no taste or sense of humor. but as a rule i prefer to turn venting into lectures that are potentially helpful to others; it's not like i've tagged the person who i saw do this, i'm not here to start a fight.

anyway. to summarize. epithets used randomly to replace calling people by their names: generally bad. epithets used to create imagery or remind the reader of details relevant to the situation: good, useful. epithets used to show changes in perspective and show rather than tell: fucking excellent.

[angelsdean]

I'll have to think abt it a little more but post-rewatch of 2x14 I think Meg was "telling truths" specifically to push buttons and press on Dean, Jo, and Sam's specific insecurities. I think she tells them what THEY think is true, to some extent and also is pulling from Sam's POV, pulling on things Sam thinks are true, but twisting them with cruelty to mess with and hurt others. Like we know Sam has been warring with his own feelings and fears abt becoming evil. He's been begging Dean to promise to follow through on John's words and kill him if it ever gets bad. And Meg, while possessing Sam just reiterates these feelings.

Then what she says to Dean:

But whatever I do to you, it's nothing compared to what you do to yourself, is it? I can see it in your eyes, Dean. You're worthless. You couldn't save your Dad, and deep down ... you know that you can't save your brother. They'd have been better off without you.

These are Dean's fears and insecurities that he's been dealing with this season. But just like Sam's fears of being corrupted and inherently evil, these fears are also untrue. But Meg is a demon. She will present these things as true because she wants to break down these characters. She wants Dean to lose hope. To not be able to trust his own judgement. Dean is not worthless. Dean can save his brother. But it's in Meg / Hell's interest for Dean to lose hope. And Dean already feels these things to be true about himself, so Meg pressed on that wound, just like she does with Sam's insecurities.

And then Jo. First there's her feelings about Dean. Meg-as-Sam taunts her for her crush and insists Dean doesn't feel the same way. Sees her as sister and younger / naive. It's delivered cruelly but I'm inclined to believe these words are rooted in truth, or at least, a perceived truth, as he previous jabs have been truths the characters feel about themselves. In this case, I do think Jo fears that her crush is not reciprocated, and thus Meg presses on that wound. But I also think Meg is drawing on some of Sam's perspective too. Maybe even things Dean has said to Sam about Jo, but twisting them cruelly. This is simply my interpretation of course and it is not the only one, but I do generally see Dean and Jo's dynamic as a hero worship / mentor mentee / unrequited crush. He sees her as yet another young person looking up to him. They are not on even footing. I've written before about how Dean sees her as another responsibility because she's naive and new to hunting. Nothing about this opinion has to do with her being "a girl", it's simply that she is a liability because of her inexperience. Anyway, I mention these things because I think there is good evidence that points to Dean not really feeling the same way toward Jo, and thus some "truth" to Meg's words, while also still playing into Jo's personal insecurities about the situation. Jo later asks Dean if demons can sometimes tell the truth and Dean says yes, especially if they know it will mess with your head. However, Jo is asking this moreso in regards to what Meg-as-Sam says about what happened to Bill.

Which is yet another fascinating scene. And perhaps THIS one is a more objective truth. Or a pure lie. Because unlike with the other scenarios, neither Jo or Sam know what happened with Bill and John. This is all Meg. Coming from what she, as a demon, may or may not know.

When I look at all four scenarios, I can almost see a spectrum of lies to truths. Sam's "true nature" are lies but truths Sam believes about himself. We know Sam is not inherently evil for simply having psychic vision. Dean has been reiterating Sam is not "destined" to become evil, that he has a choice, that he is still good, no matter what Azazel may have planned. Dean being "worthless" is also a lie but a truth Dean believes about himself. Jo's insecurities about Dean's feelings for her, lean more truth, as we can see instances of Dean treating her like a kid and turning her down romantically. And then the Bill and John stuff. Could be HARD LIE to simply hurt Jo. Could also be a truth. John does seem the type to shoot someone to put them out of their misery after all. And what did John tell Dean at the start of this season? If you can't save Sam, you have to kill him. If Bill really was holding his own guts and bleeding out, he'd have been beyond saving. So what would John have likely done? Kill him.

[suffarustuffaru]

We need more re:zero fanfics that are just characters being forced to go to therapy. Subaru is ordered by the Royal Knights to attend weekly sessions (that secretly double as interrogations, though due to patient confidentiality the therapist is only able to pass on information that regards other people being put in danger) and the therapist stumbles out of there every week needing a drink because trying to make something coherent out of a conversation with Natsuki Subaru concerning anything related to his fluctuating emotional state and the very obvious/mysterious trauma underpinning all of his actions is practically an Olympic sport — and that was before unearthing his self-harm habit, severe inferiority complex, and what may be suicidal tendencies. Reinhard is so emotionally repressed that he’s refusing to let himself feel anything even regarding having to face off against his grandmother’s corpse and his superiors keep walking back the meager process any sessions manage to make. Otto seems perfectly normal and then he mentions being willing to die for Subaru’s sake as soon as three days after he met him. Ram just sits there glaring for the full hour and a half. Wilhelm uses the time to express his latest revenge plot in very well thought out detail. Heinkel is such a horrible mess that I can’t even make a joke out of what he’d do to that poor therapist’s emotional state. Roswaal doesn’t seem to realize what therapy IS. That poor therapist is in Hell.

anon ive always wanted to see something like this for sure HAH its just such a fascinating idea?? especially when 99% of people in the rz cast desperately need extensive therapy 😭😭 but yeah theres different ways you could take an idea like this and the conditions you set are really interesting.

the idea of it being a therapist appointed by the government, essentially, who’s also there to gather information (but keeps at least some details hidden for the sake of their patients) so the government can keep a leash on certain characters (subaru and reinhard particularly) + subaru is still locked by rbd taboo of course is so fascinating to me. of course—is it ideal conditions for therapy? hell no lmao 😭😭 but its a super good in universe explanation as to why theyre getting therapy (other than all of them being Mentally Unwell)—and given the therapist and everyone in the cast minus subaru and al are working with medieval knowledge, the odds were not in their favors anyway oops. and this is assuming that the cast has the BEST THERAPIST IN THE FANTASY WORLD POSSIBLE for this!! haah theyve got a real difficult job ahead of them.

and also an idea like this is difficult to write. ive always wanted a “rz cast goes to therapy” fic hah but writing the FULL cast is tricky!! tbh id feel bad not including at least a good chunk of the cast in a fic like this given SO MANY of them desperately need therapy. and this idea is Extremely character focused—you have to know every character’s intimate traumas and flaws and personalities to pull this sort of thing off. its inherently in depth character exploration, and depending on how Good you want the therapist character to be, youd probablyyy have to do at least a bit of research (??) (unless you have personal experience in this department already??) there on. how to write a therapist? but thats just me getting fixated on the practical aspects of this wkdndn this is definitely why we havent really seen much fic on this sort of idea yet. i think itd work really well as a collab though, possibly!! you can devote a therapy session to one character per chapter or something and mix it up later the further it goes on <3 or at least thats my idea for this at the moment. i think one therapy session per chapter would be very good leadup though in a Hypothetical Fic about this, and you then have the time to explore each character in depth and introduce each of them!!

ok as for the examples you gave anon—HAH yeah thats a good summary for sure 😭😭 again, this is interesting because these are Not good conditions for therapy.

they all think with their medieval knowledge. subaru cant talk about rbd and everything related to it, which is his biggest core trauma. reinhards superiors dont want him to improve because hes their perfect malleable obedient weapon right now and they chose to break him like that. they probably wont want heinkel to improve much either, given theres implications that people like russell fellow purposely helped make heinkel Worse (such as the false rumors that he kidnapped one of the royal familys kids). and also regarding characters like heinkel—he wont improve if he doesnt get some sort of rehab on top of the therapy akdnd and he wont improve if he doesnt make an effort either. and also i know theres characters like petra who are way more normal compared to everyone else and shes not in dire need of therapy unlike everyone else, but id argue petra should at least have a check up because girl is a twelve year old thats been shoved into life threatening events recently okay 😭😭 AND the astreas are gonna need some hardcore family therapy wkdndn theyll just need individual sessions first to work up to that……… but will the kingdom really allow that to happen either?

yeah so the therapist is in for a reckoning in general 😭😭 with the plot you gave anon—if the therapist genuinely tries their best, this could result in some friction. the therapist hears out all these big important people related to the royal selection—roswaal, the astreas, various other emilia camp members, and people from other factions im sure (such as julius, joshua, ferris, crusch, etc)—but the therapist is held back from fully helping all of them because the kingdom keeps them all on a leash, including the therapist themselves. will the therapist succumb to what the kingdom wants and ensure they never improve past a certain point? or ensure they never improve at all?

it creates this overarching plot to an otherwise standard premise i think—and theres a bittersweetness because the therapist cant fully help them as it is right now. and its hard to help characters like subaru and reinhard who are Incomprehensible in their own ways. even in the fantasy world with its Wide Range of dangerous traumatic events tinged with magic, subaru and reinhard are absolutely outliers. plus as i said earlier, some characters Want to improve so badly and will try their best to do so (such as emilia) and some might not have much desire to even try (such as heinkel). everyone in the cast have their own goals, motivations, and a lot of them to some degree will be unreliable narrators either purposefully or accidentally or unwittingly. the otto example you gave anon is so true because i an SO sure his ass would pretend to be normal bc he doesnt want to be there only to accidentally reveal hes not 😭😭😭 joshua is another good example bc of his hate love relationship with his brother and how he tries to conceal it by gaslighting himself into worshipping his brother’s every move and trying to live vicariously through him (joshua also hates reinhard too but pretends not to so theres that too) 👍👍👍 and also emilia and reinhard are examples of characters whove been taught the absolute WORST lessons in the world so youd have to get into unravelling that 😭😭 like theyre both afraid to be closer to others out of fear of hurting them, they have issues regarding what people see them as and what people expect them to be, learned powerlessness, terrible father figures, guilt complexes, being blamed for things that arent their fault, also the fucked up family history, etc etc. there is SO much baggage HAH.

and again, the poor therapist is getting a bunch of rz main characters and crucial side characters—many of them are well known in some way, or important political figures, and they ALL got the most buck wild stories so the stakes are Very High😭😭 itll be a fun ride im sure!! but i do think this idea is super super neat. id love to explore each and every character and all their nuances—i think a fic like this would only really fully work if youre sympathetic towards everyone, but youre not afraid to get them for their faults too. wilhelm, heinkel, roswaal are good examples. clind too by proxy, given frederica needs to get away from his ass too (RAM ALSO NEEDS TO GET AWAY FROM ROSWAAL ISTG.) and again, a fic like this requires in depth knowledge of all these characters or the premise can fall apart a bit—this is a fic all about exploring their deepest traumas after all <3

but yeah anyway i too am in dire need of a rz cast goes to therapy fic anon!!! T^T thank you for the ask i will continue to think on this idea 🙏

[here-comes-the-bard]

man my post from. yesterday or day before. is making me think like. i don't know what it would look like if yaevinn DID decide he was tired of being nice and just wanted to go apeshit. mostly because he's getting to the point of being like. yeah both is good tbh. i will be nice but if you fuck around you will find the fuck out.

he's very much a "my trauma did not make me kind, i made me kind. do not credit my abuser and oppressors for my kindness" person. his philosophy is something along the lines "the world was unkind to me and unkind to others, but why should i be unkind? if I didn't deserve it, neither do others. might as well be a light in a world of darkness". and honestly that's a big part of what makes him who he is. i cannot imagine yaevinn without it honestly.

but i think that's what makes it an interesting exercise. what would yaevinn be like if at some point (after asylum, it's important to note, as really that's The Big One and just kind of amplified the previous issue) he just said "being kind is exhausting and i'm exhausted so fuck this". because aside from the horrors i think it's genuinely exhausting for him to be kind in the face of unkindness. it is simultaneously an effort and an instinct for him. and it's fascinating to wonder what would happen if he not only gave it up, but just went in the opposite direction (because ngl if he just gave up on it as a whole he'd just. kinda vanish off the face of the earth and not interact with anyone).

the thing is, he wouldn't become gleefully cruel. in fact i think he'd actually really dislike it and dislike himself for it, but what else is he supposed to do? it wouldn't feel right, but it'd be all he knew because being "good" clearly wasn't working. i think he'd just feel so. empty. where his world now is filled with colors that can sometimes be overwhelming but that he wouldn't give up for anything, his world in an au where he actually gave it up would be so grey and bland that i kind of think it'd impact his mental health, to put it in a less rough way.

not sure whether he would've missed his calling as an assassin or not but considering he learned his archery and dagger techniques as self-defense i think there's a good chance he wouldn't have.

i think he would've kept a lower profile due to his shame honestly. would've gone from a little timid and anxious to nearly reclusive. wouldn't want let anyone see him like this because the feeling of being inherently bad would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. this is all he is. a monster is all he could've ever been. and yet, he does let people see it. because look what the world has done to him. how can you hold good in your heart when the world has done nothing to return it. he'd see himself in it, and he'd see it as pathetic because of that.

i just like. fr the thing is i think he'd have this constant feeling that it wasn't supposed to happen this way. he wasn't supposed to be like this, and yet there's no other path.

and he doesn't even know that there was. and he could've seen so many beautiful things if he'd kept the kindness in his heart. but how could he? why would he?

i honestly think it's something like this post tbh. just crushed under the weight of his ideals because upholding them broke and splintered every single fucking bone in his body. i might have fundamentally misunderstood the post but isn't art less about what you put into it and more about what people get out of it or something like that.

anyway sorry if you read this whole thesis, be sure to like comment and subscribe for more content that makes me kinda glad i didn't make him worse. i'm gonna make either a pinterest board or a section in his pinterest but considering he is schrodinger's Fundamentally The Same Character (both is and really isn't) i'm not sure. uhhh this is a fun character exercise if you wanna do it. it doesn't have to be an essay tho this is just how i get out my thoughts. ok bye

[afaroffsong]

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

bonfire - describe your dream house.

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date? 

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

Everything. I want to know everything about you, my dear. ^_^

Best friend - My best friend (besides you) is my sister. I don't know what my impression of her was, but I'm told I tried several times to poke her in the eye. I was exactly 15 months, 6 days and 12 hours old when she was born.

Advice to my younger self - Oh. I've actually thought about this a lot. Little me needed a lot of advice and guidance she never got. Probably I would tell my 11-year-old self to trust God, trust that He cares, and pray a lot more. Maybe I would tell my 12-year-old self, "God doesn't hate you." I really needed to hear that. One or the other.

Hobby/skill I've always wanted to try - I've always wanted to dance. I did ballet as an 8-year-old. I was really quite terrible at it. But Irish dancing has my heart...

Fictional character I identify with - Beth March. She is literally me. Or I am literally her. Except she is much kinder and more selfless.

Dream wardrobe - *sigh* I am not a fashionable person. I would be happy wearing plain black leggings and purple/blue/black sweaters for the rest of my life. That being said, I do wish I could find clothes that actually look flattering on me. It seems everything these days is made for women with my sister's body type. We never share clothes because the moment I see her wearing something of my own I say, "Right. That's it. Keep it. It looks way better on you anyway." XD

Food I disliked as a child but now enjoy - Stuff with yeast in it. I hated the flavour of yeast as a child. I don't mind it now. Either that or soup/stew--little me thought it was disgusting, but I could eat soup every day.

Unpopular opinion - Oh dear. I don't know. I think liquorice is quite tasty? Most people don't. XD

How well would I do in a zombie apocalypse - I would either die in a really dumb way or trying to protect my siblings. I don't think I would last very long. XD

If I could look like any celebrity - Hmm, this one stumped me. Audrey Hepburn was very pretty.

Have I ever encountered a house I believed to be haunted - I don't think so. If ghosts are real I am among the majority of people who are totally clueless to their existence.

One thing I'd like to happen this autumn - I would like to enter my first dressage competition on my pony. But that would take a lot of courage, more than I have at the moment.

School subject I wish I had an aptitude for - History. Fascinating, of course, but nothing ever stuck in my head.

Dream house - Small, cosy, located in the countryside. A few stables, a lot of land. A family, some horses, a dog, maybe. I don't really dream about what it would look like, mostly how I would like it to feel.

Different time period - I'm quite happy in this modern age BUT if I had to go back in time... maybe the 50's? It's a time period I don't know much about. Also I'd like to wear dresses in my day-to-day life without that being weird, but also have the convenience of electricity and plumbing, etc.

Do I miss high school - I was homeschooled and no. I was so stressed out for no reason. And lonely. Not a fun time.

A physical feature I get complimented on - My hair, occasionally. Maybe once every other year.

The weirdest encounter I've had with a stranger on the street - I honestly believe my baby brother and I were nearly kidnapped once. We were walking on the road, a white van with two men inside stopped alongside us and they just stared and smiled at us. It was very creepy and I don't know why they drove away, but I was EXTREMELY happy when they did.

Tea - one sugar cube, a drop of milk. Decaf so I don't vibrate into oblivion.

Do I think humans are inherently good or bad - I think everyone is, inherently, both. Made in the image of God but raised in a broken world. Environment, potential, choices, experiences--these all add up. I have a hard time putting my thoughts on deeper subjects like this into words.

Neat or messy - Unfortunately I am very messy. If I didn't share a room with my sister I would probably be worse. (She hates my mess.)

Gone on a bad date - I have never been on a date, period. XD

Hair - I have always wanted curly hair. I don't really mind what colour--I am too dark in complexion, probably for anything lighter than what I have, which is really really dark brown.

Someone I miss having in my life - Probably just extended family in general. My grandparents on my mother's side keep in touch with me, but everyone else seems to have forgotten we're still alive over here in the little country of Ireland.

Thank you for the many, many asks, I really enjoyed answering them. :D <33

[sanct1f1ed]

Why is banban bad plural red I watched like. A third of snoepy (?)'s playthrough of game 1

you guys are good, dw! i wouldn't necessarily call it bad rep (although you could definitely make a case for that), but it's definitely among the worst rep of 2023! banban and gollum shits below the cut:

for me, the distinction between bad rep and worst rep goes something like this:

bad rep is a portrayal of plurality that ends up being harmful in its depiction- think something like split. the movie goes above and beyond trying to demonize its system villain, and (though it did bring some visibility to plurals) ultimately i think it's safe to say it did more harm than good.

worst rep, at least to me, is where the characters' source game/movie/whatever is flawed in however it executes its depiction! here is where gollum & smeagol come in also. the TL;DR is that, in-game, they're a system of 2 members who were formed after smeagol encountered the One Ring and fuckshit happened. their plurality is actually a mechanic in-game.

here's some screencaps from the gollum game. because gollum & smeagol are the main characters of the game, someone came up with the decision to let the player take sides in internal arguments. this, on paper, is a cool mechanic! however, in practice, this concept didn't work out. because the game sucked.

so for the sake of the argument, let's boil it down to this:

good and bad are a scale of the representation's harmfulness vs accuracy/positive portrayal, and best to worst is a scale of the rep's source media and its quality. of course, i think this is all much more complicated than what we've got going on here, but it's a start for what we're gonna do.

so far, we've basically got this kind of thing going on:

i haven't seen split outside of the plural community's reaction to the movie, so i think i'm not equipped to rank if the movie itself was the best-of whenever-the-hell-it-came-out or not. besides, my opinion is inherently biased anyway.

garten of banban, on the other hand, i feel more equipped to talk about!

let me just start off, plain and simple. i can't find a single metric by which these games (specifically 3 and 4- they discuss and portray banban's plurality the most, and came out this year (i think)) would be the "best of 2023". i think, in terms of relatively well-known games, we can safely mark this game as among the worst- which is why i included it with gollum on my previous post.

in terms of good vs bad, i also happen to think banban (the character, not the game)'s plurality is also not fantastic rep. i'll spare you the details (because i fucking hated every second of witnessing this game), but essentially, banban is composed of 2 "sides"- the memories and core personality of his genetic donor, dr. uthman adam, and his "base instincts" (i can't remember the exact wording. i refuse to go back into scorpy's vod to check, and the banban wiki seems to be written by literal children.). obviously, this plays a lot into the "evil alter" trope (and he literally hulks out like a damn cartoon character), and in-game banban seems to REALLY WANT to suppress that side of him down. if they played this like Actual Plurality- like uthman being a factive (which would be FASCINATING if the lore was actually good), and the base-instincts side being some sort of persecutor/protector- it would work. but as it stands now, banban (character) is bad rep, and garten of banban (game) is one of the worst games he could be in.

so that leaves us about here!

of course, obligatory reminder that every system is different, not all systems have roles for their headmates, and so on. if you& (rhetorical, not directed at sender of the ask) see yourselves in any of these depictions, that's perfectly fine and i wish y'all well.

thank you for coming to my TED talk that made witnessing Garten of BullShit retroactively a little more tolerable. i look forward to more worst plural rep shitposting in the future

(p.s; i control-F'd for the amount of parentheses in this post and i hit ~14 parenthese'd segments. i love including additional information that is not necessary to understand things)

(p.p.s; i've pluralposted on cohost about some of my favorite rep in different media/s, if anyone wants to hear some of my other takes i'm more than happy to type something else up or crosspost smth)

[abeautifulnerdbouquet]

I have somehow avoided that experience lol

The reason why I love him so much is specifically because he is a flawed character. I love a story with an unreliable narrator, and him being unreliable because of his bad memory AND because he misinterprets things is honestly super fun to read. I like that he goes down a darker path than most protags, because I hate main characters who don’t make a decision ever (like authors who don’t want to ever be divisive…) so I have a fondness for antiheros who make bad choices, because at least they made a choice

And WWX is such an endearing character because you can ALMOST justify what be does based on the text. Like you get his perspective and you know that he’s trying his best to live according to his moral principles and to protect everyone he loves but the fact that that is exactly what dooms them is a huge part of the plot!

So yeah, he’s flawed and his morality is very flexible and he is not someone you should REVERE, but he is someone you can understand and feel empathy for. THAT is what makes him a good character

As for shitting on anyone who is mean to him ever, that’s ridiculous. The tragedy of it is in his complex and broken relationships, Jiang Cheng especially, despite how poorly he treats WWX it’s also understandable and you can see how much he struggles with his love for his brother and his anger with the person who took his sister from him, like that is a fascinating relationship! It’s doing JC a great disservice by just chalking him up as a hater

Tbh I don’t get how ppl who read it like that like it? Everything that makes it a fantastic read for me is the subtleties, the shades of grey, the inherent tragedy of shared sacrifices that doom the characters. That’s what makes it compelling!

Anyway I hope you find more fandom spaces w ppl you can happily engage w and share your MDZS passion w! They’re definitely out there 💚

believe it or not, I was a HUGE Wei wuxian stan when I first entered the fandom. like borderline simp thats how hard I was stanning. then I went on Tumblr and met a bunch the fans and they were kinda.... well

a whole bunch of them were literally worshipping wwx and being like "he's the best protag in the history of protags and he is flawless and has committed no wrongs ever" "him killing people so badass" "everyone he killed, accident or not deserved it 100%" and then shitting aggressively on every other character that has directly or indirectly even slightly wrong or contradict him like the classics Jiang Cheng and jiggy etc etc, even lan xichen once in a while for some weird reason like ???????

the tone was a little strange like if I dipped my toes into the Wei wuxian simpstan pool then they are wading into it towards the deep end at full speed

ofc there are lots of rather lovely wwx stans out there too but its just the cluster of weird people radiating a almost cultlike vibe that just kind of ruined it for me

still love wwx, wonderful little gremlin guy, super cute design, has a minidoll, posters and some badges of him, nicely flawed character, love a good meta about him, but the flame of admiration has just been lowkey put out because of the HIGHKEY off putting little cluster of Wei wuxian cultist/simps

is it a me exclusive experience or have you encountered the Wei Wuxian Worshiper Cult in the vast labyrinths of Tumblr.com please let me know in the comments

[nekropsii]

what are your interpretations for those classes and aspects, out of curiousity? (or a link to an interpretation thats good)

[Re: This post.]

Okay, that's an incredibly complex, multi-tiered question. I'll try my best to summarize it as briefly as possible, though!!

FOR THE CLASSES:

The fact that Bards are the Wildcard Class is true, and I'm not going to dispute that... But I think the way that some people go about interpreting Bards is a bit weak. Oftentimes, they're made out to be forces of pure, unpredictable chaos, when... That's not the case at all. That has, in my opinion, never been the case. From my observation, the role of a Bard in the greater context of a Session isn't that they create Pure Unpredictability within the field of that Aspect, but rather that they're representative of Instability within the field of their Aspect. Those are two entirely different things. Bards do, in fact, have some greater purpose and reasoning behind their actions- it's just that those reasons might not make sense to someone who is particularly mentally stable- or, "hinged", as some might like to put it. Their status of being rather Unhinged and/or Unstable individuals is why they're known to Make or Break Sessions- especially since I'd argue that their existence may hint towards a general feeling of instability within that Aspect throughout the entire session... They are Passive Classes, after all.

Pages are not "Baby Knights", because that would fundamentally defeat the entire purpose of their journey and existence as a Class. Pages represent Lacking, and their journey revolves around Deficit- both in themselves, and in those around them. When their Deficit in their Aspect is healed or resolved somehow, they are stated to be one of the most powerful Classes from the viewpoint of baseline power. If a Page evolved into a Knight upon their full realization, that's not a victory. That's the start of an entirely new journey as a character with a power level that many, many people were able to start with. That's just a cruel joke, at that point. I have so many choice words for the whole "Pages evolve into Knights" theory that if I enable myself any more space to talk about it here, that's what the entire post will turn into, so I'll forcibly stop myself there.

FOR THE ASPECTS:

Doom is a very complicated Aspect, and it hurts my heart to see people boil it down to Misfortune and Death. That is... Nowhere near the full picture, and it's so saddening that no one ever seems to truly take the effort to dig deeper. It's also about Control, Self-Sacrifice, Restriction, Necessity, and so many other things. It's fascinating!! There's pros to being a Doom player- it's not all bad!! Also... The Doombound do not bring bad luck. Think of them like an Absol, from Pokemon- if one of them starts hanging around you a lot, their presence isn't going to kill you. It can, however, serve as an omen- the Doombound are attracted to those that are already Doomed. Come on.

Hope is not inherently good, nor is it inherently positive. In fact, we have yet to see a single example of a Hope player who is a happy person... Lol. Hope is about Belief, and that's an entirely neutral concept. My personal pet theory as to why Hope was elevated to be this paragon of good in the eyes of the fandom is that it has to do with the western world's relationship with Religion- especially the USA and its relationship with Christianity. That's a topic for another day, though... But anyways, Hope can very much so lead to toxic idealism, an inability to accept reality, and suffering... And quite easily, too! I'd argue it's actually a key part of the Aspect! It's not an inherently wholesome or fun Aspect. No Aspects are. That is how they work.

Rage is not "The Hope Aspect, but Evil", it is representative of Disbelief... Which is, you know, the actual opposite of Belief? I'm not sure why Rage gets so commonly misinterpreted as "The Evil Aspect", nor do I understand why they're so heavily related to Demons. Demons are a construct of Hope, actually, and so are Cults. Sorry! It's also not an inherently bad or negative Aspect- it's just Skepticism, Anger, and Pessimism... Which would sound bad, if you forget the fact that those are necessary parts of life in order to have an even moderately healthy experience with being alive.

I'm going to plug one of my besties here, because I will take literally any excuse to do so, and you kind of asked for it. @scalematez is an absolute scholar on the subject of Hope and Rage as Aspects, and she is the only person I've ever seen actually understand them on a deeper level without defaulting to some of the most common, rather egregious stereotypes regarding those Aspects. Here's an essay of hers about their dichotomy, go give her a follow!

[akolnoix]

What’s your ideal light and misa dynamic? I love anything where there’s romance involved. They’re so unrequited and incompatible I can only take them seriously when they’re platonic.

hmmm well, when i look at misa's character, i see a few different directions i could enjoy seeing her character go (and thus, their dynamic).

the first is that of the devout kira believer, who is manipulated by light through her utter devotion to The Cause (not light himself). it's not inherently bad writing for their relationship to be very one-sided, so long as misa's devotion is written in a way that primarily informs Her as a character and doesn't just exist to make her a useful prop for light to wield.

the death note musical is the perfect portrayal of this, and i consider it Mandatory viewing for anyone who wants to see the only official depiction of misa amane that's actually an important and well-written character.

in the source material, misa's dedication is supposedly because of how kira dealt with her parent's murderer but she never feels genuinely invested in that. the musical, however, truly brings that motivation to life and makes you understand why she is willing to go so far for kira, no matter how it hurts her. it's a beautifully tragic take on the character, and the narrative really respects her

a clip, for motivation to go watch it (you can download the full thing here. my personal favorite is the 2015 kakizawa hayato version but they're all good)

but for a longer format like the original manga, i'd like something more like walt and jesse's dynamic in breaking bad. where light is definitely manipulating her but in general their dynamic is somewhat more even (and even genuine to some degree). misa's not just being quietly accepting of light's bullshit, is willing to question their partnership, isn't afraid to be mean and argue with him, so light has to work a Lot harder to get her under his thumb, and not piss her off enough for her to come after him.

then in the most canon divergent direction, a misa that's actively antagonistic, where she retains the more threatening aspects of her character from her initial appearance, being way more willing to kill and way more flippant about it than light is, casually threatening to kill him if he does something she doesn't light (and of course, "if push comes to shove, i've got the eyes so im stronger"). initially putting on the image of the fangirl to manipulate him w/his underestimation of her, any initial claims of justice quickly fall apart and it's clear that she is in this for the power trip, and a similar fascination in light's whole *gestures* like L is (albeit from the opposite end). so i'd like that dynamic to develop into more of a very tense ally-ship where they are working together right now but know at some point the other will come for their throat.

honestly the closest thing we've got to this angle is the netflix adaptation, which im against like morally (absolutely sick to not even allow asian actors to audition) but as a movie i um. actually kinda enjoyed. it's not like profound or very well written but i thought it was schlocky fun, and "mia"+light's fucked up romance is compelling conceptually. keyword conceptually. i'd like to see an alternate universe where it was good.

ANYWAYS. those are my rambling please do not take them too seriously i am just throwing thoughts out there

[makeste]

I like Bakuguo but his attitude is starting to really piss me off. He's talking about Daku as if he's just ~crazy~ and as if he isn't partly to blame for Deku's toxic self-worth issues. It's infuriating to watch. If Bakuguo doesn’t admit out loud and in front of his friends that his bullying of Deku played a part in Deku's current destructive state and if he doesn’t verbally apologize and reaffirm Deku's worth then I can no longer like Bakuguo's character or Hori's writing.

tbh I don't really know why this is the discourse of choice for people all of a sudden, but this is already the second ask I've gotten about it, so I might as well address it lol.

I think fandom is conflating fanon!Deku and canon!Deku here again. fanon Deku is of course much more sensitive and woobified and has much shakier self-esteem. fanon Deku is the one that turns evil in so many AUs because of Kacchan's bullying. fanon Deku is the one that actually jumps off the roof in so many fics, as opposed to fishing his notebook back out of the pond a few minutes later grumbling about how Kacchan needs to think before he speaks or else he could land himself in serious shit one day if god forbid anyone actually does take his cruel words to heart.

and just to clarify before I get any further, I am not saying this to excuse Kacchan's actions in any way, because what he did was still completely terrible and unacceptable and WAY over the line, and what's more he knew it, too. the bullying was still shitty and horrible and awful, and definitely impacted Deku and made him miserable. I fully acknowledge that, and that Kacchan has a lot of atoning to do for it. this is not a "Kacchan did nothing wrong" post.

but that being said, I don't think canon Deku's reckless self-sacrificing nature actually has anything to do with the bullying. I think they're two completely separate things. canon Deku actually has pretty decent self-esteem in spite of everything Kacchan did to him. canon Deku doesn't think he is useless. canon Deku had a wholeass fight with Kacchan less than 10 chapters into the series in which he explicitly spelled it out for Kacchan that he had a lot of worth, and was going to prove it to him. canon Deku was persistent in wanting to become a hero and hoping and believing that he could find some way in spite of being quirkless. canon Deku never let go of that dream even when no one else supported it. I don't think he would have even given up on it after being told no by All Might, tbh -- we just never got to see how it would have played out because of everything that happened with the sludge monster shortly afterward. but he's not the type to ever give up on something that easily, and we've seen that. canon Deku never thought he was useless, but rather wanted to prove to everyone else that he wasn't.

the drive that Deku has to save and protect others even at the expense of his own safety is something entirely separate from that. he doesn't break his body for others simply because he has no self-esteem and thinks that his own life isn't important. he does it because he can't stand the thought of someone else getting hurt, and knowing that he could have done something to prevent it. it's as simple as that. like, Spider-Man has the whole "with great power comes great responsibility" thing, right? and he doesn't have low self-esteem; he simply believes that if he has the ability to help someone else, then he has a responsibility to help them. it's a personal creed. and Deku is based on Spider-Man. his philosophy is based on that philosophy, which was one of Horikoshi's core influences and is one of the core creeds in superhero fiction.

Deku is self-destructive not because he doesn't value himself, but because he is literally physically incapable of standing back and doing nothing if he knows that he can do something. he's the type of person who sees a car speeding towards someone and leaps in to push them out of the way. NOT because he wants to get himself fucking pancaked by a speeding car, but simply because he can't sit back and watch the other person get hurt without taking action. his body moves before he can think. and that's where the whole "doesn't take himself into account" thing comes in -- the fact that his thought process simply stops at "get them out of the way of the car", and never extends beyond that to "hey, and maybe I should try to find a way to do this that doesn't involve me getting hit in their place." to him, that's simply less important than the first priority, which is getting the other person out of the way.

and regarding that last part, while that may seem like a self-worth issue if he's prioritizing everyone else above himself, I think what it actually is just selflessness taken to extremes. like for instance, when a parent sacrifices themselves to save their child, them placing the child's life above their own isn't necessarily because they don't see themselves as having value. rather, it's that they love the child so much that they place their well-being even above their own. and that's what Deku is like as well. except that in his case he cares about EVERYONE, and so is willing to sacrifice himself for anyone. and that selflessness is his defining character trait, and simultaneously the most admirable and the most terrifying thing about him. it's both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness, which I think is fascinating to explore.

but anyway, so that's also why we never really see anyone thoroughly chewing him out for this behavior either. because the thing is, it is admirable how selfless he is. it's just that there's also a reason why most people are at least a little bit selfish. and that's because too much selflessness will ultimately and inevitably wind up getting you killed. at some point you either have to learn when to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, or else find yourself a loyal group of friends (or classmates) to watch your back, and make sure that mask gets on you when you need it. and maybe help you land the plane too while they're at it.

anyway so that was a lot of rambling, but basically it all boils down to three things:

when Deku berates himself for being useless (for instance at the end of the War arc), he's doing it out of frustration for not being able to push the others out of the way of the metaphorical car. that's the kind of uselessness he can't stand. the sitting-back-and-doing-nothing uselessness.

Kacchan's bullying was terrible, and it might have indeed played a part in Deku's choice of the word "useless" as a way of berating himself in these instances, but he is not the one who gave Deku this mindset of taking himself out of the equation. that's something that was already inherent to Deku from day one. (but that said, Kacchan has a lot of things to apologize to Deku for anyway, so if he wants to add this to the list I certainly won't stop him. he gets mad about Deku's suicidal attitude because it worries him, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't feel responsible for it. people underestimated his feelings of atonement before 284/285, and I think they're still underestimating him now.)

and lastly, one last important note, which is that Deku's current "saving" mindset isn't wrong, just as Kacchan's "winning" mindset was not wrong either. the lesson to be learned here is NOT that being selfless and wanting to save other people is bad. rather, it's the fact that he's trying to do it alone that's got him all fucked up right now. basically when you think about it, selflessness is really just selfishness on someone else's behalf. which means that in order for Deku to be saved, it isn't necessary for him to change his outlook or his selfless attitude, even if it is pretty crazy lol. rather, all he really needs is a good group of friends who are willing to act selfishly on his behalf in return. protecting each other through mutual selflessness lol. teamwork as self-preservation. hence why the U.A. kids are here now.

anyway so yeah, I think that's everything. sorry this got so long and out of control lol. this is just a very specific nuanced thing that's hard for me to express, but which I feel is very important when it comes to Deku's character. Kacchan didn't unleash Depressed Nomad Deku on the world (or at least not in this respect). but that being said, he and the others will hopefully be the ones to nudge him back on the right course again.