#anyways i personally see characters that are not inherently good or bad for more fascinating and captivating then the ones that are

[soulfullives]

i think that we often do forget that the black brothers were not inherently good people; they were more or less morally grey, more or less leaning towards the good/bad side. it's hard to fully unlearn beliefs of your family (and i think that many people resonate with this statement, whether we are talking about fictional characters or real, fully-fledged people), and i think that morally grey characters are far more interesting than people who are inherently good or evil.

sirius black

many people (including myself) would say that sirius is leaning more towards the lighter end of the spectrum, given the fact that he actively tried to unlearn his family's beliefs, he ran away from home at the age of sixteen and decided to move in with people who were recognized in the wizarding society as good people, he joined the order as soon as he finished hogwarts, and, even after the unfortunate ending of the first war, he decided to join the order again and stay inside a house that was never a home for him, to ensure the safety of himself, the order, and harry, too. his last act was the attack at the ministry where he found himself, despite the fact that he was supposed to stay inside grimmauld place, and where he died.

however, we cannot deny that sirius, too, had slip-ups. one of them was the prank (to review what happened, essentially, he told snape how to get past the whomping willow, therefore revealing remus' secret to him). in this situation, sirius shows recklessness and a lack of thought towards the consequences that his actions could have towards not only himself, but severus snape and remus, too. his behavior showed a lack of altruism, and a lack of consideration for the people around him, being willing to put them in danger for whatever may have been the reason.

another one would be swm (snape's worst memory), where james is a part of the action too, but the tormenting of snape was unjustified (j&s started the fight, and snape responded) and ended badly. now, i am in no way a defender of severus snape's, but both j&s and him were acting based on either boredom (the aforementioned) and a need for revenge caused by the actions that had happened against him (the latter).

in canon, we are also shown that he does not exactly think the words he says, and the effect they have on people. (“You're less like your father than I thought.” — GoF). i think that sirius had no right to say this to harry, who was just trying to make sure that sirius would be safe. what we need to remember is that, by the time of the action of GoF took place, sirius was still on the run, and the ministry was still looking for him; it would have been dangerous for both him and harry (and whoever might have joined them) to go out of hiding and go meet up somewhere near hogwarts (hogsmeade). harry's response to sirius' request was logical, and sirius' response was reckless and not well-thought.

regulus black

we do not have enough information on regulus to fully state on which side of the spectrum he finds himself on. however, he was known to have held the same beliefs that his parents did and to be an open voldemort supporter (The Slytherin colours of emerald and silver were everywhere, draping the bed, the walls and the windows. The Black Family crest was painstakingly painted over the bed, along with its motto Toujours Pur. Beneath this was a collection of yellow newspaper cuttings (of voldemort), all stuck together to make a ragged collage.)

therefore, to some extent, we can safely assume that he held the same beliefs as him (and, implicitly, his parents). the voldemort collage might have been on the wall for either research purposes or an act of devotion (this interesting perspective has been added by @/werewolfenthusiast) we cannot be sure; however, i am inclined to think that it might have been a mixture of both.

furthermore, i think the fact that regulus only started actively betraying and going against voldemort only after voldemort's actions had direct consequences on him and the ones he loved — kreacher, and this is shown in two acts; (wording taken off the hp wiki)

After becoming a Death Eater, Regulus began to consider abandoning Lord Voldemort, partly because his master mistreated and intended to kill the Black family's loyal house-elf Kreacher whilst setting up the security measures for one of his Horcruxes.

One day, Voldemort asked Regulus for the use of his house-elf, Kreacher and Regulus eagerly accepted as he wanted to please his master. Voldemort used Kreacher to test the defences around his locket Horcrux, leaving him to die afterwards. Kreacher was able to escape using house-elf magic and told Regulus of what had happened. Regulus worked out that the locket was a Horcrux and was the reason behind Voldemort's immortality. This was the deciding factor in Regulus's defection.

therefore, regulus has been shown to feel remorse and to start to realize the lenghts lord voldemort would go through only when his family (implicitly, his house-elf) were targeted. however, by researching horcruxes and trying to destroy one of them, regulus (un)willingly helped the wizarding world towards voldemort's fall.

all in all, the black brothers are two complex characters who, to some extent, held their family's beliefs and values. whether they had actively tried to unlearn them (sirius) or their betrayal was slow and silent (regulus), and neither of them can be fit in the category of inherently good or bad people.

[sepublic]

            I find it interesting that even in the epilogue, four years after Camila has had time to be more acquainted with the Boiling Isles under non-threatening circumstances, she’s still creeped out by it. And this is fine! The narrative isn’t condemning her for it. It’s not demanding that she enjoy these things like Luz does; It’s just asking for her to respect its existence, and to support Luz’s interest in it and love her too.

            In For the Future, we see Camila horrified by what she encounters in the Boiling Isles; But she also spends the whole episode pushing through it anyway for Luz’s sake, being there for her as much as she can. Because she knows these are just feelings and nothing more, and she’s choosing to be kind in spite of them.

            By contrast, in this same episode we find out Belos does feel empathy and guilt towards his brother and nephew, he wasn’t purely 100% only interested in what they could do for him; And yet, he’s still just as cruel and violent towards them. He’s still cruel and violent towards witches and demons, sometimes using the ‘tragedy’ of Caleb as a justification. Hell, he even resents the ghosts for making him feel guilty, telling them to “Shut up.”

            Isn’t that fascinating? Disgust is portrayed as a morally neutral thing. It’s not an indictator of morality, it doesn’t mean something is bad… But it doesn’t mean the person who feels it is bad, either, people don’t consider that enough. It’s just a gut reaction. Sometimes people have internalized biases they need to work through, but other times, it’s pretty harmless as long as they’re self-aware and don’t do anything bad over it; This even applies to the process of unlearning the aforementioned biases.

            Likewise, empathy and guilt don’t actually, necessarily make you a good person. The example with Belos shows how some people will actually be crueler because of empathy, because they resent people for being upset, and thus making them feel upset because they naturally empathize. Hence those who get angry at people in pain and need for “ruining their vibe,” because now they feel bad too.

            There’s a juxtaposition in how Camila seems genuinely more scared and creeped out by the isles on a visceral level than Belos, and yet Camila has the common sense to still respect and fight for its existence; Whereas Belos chooses to make a mountain out of a molehill because it’s not just hatred, it’s pride. It all boils down to his ego at the end of the day. In many ways, other characters struggle with dilemmas more difficult than Belos’, yet still do better than he ever has.

            This all plays into my thesis that TOH is arguing your feelings are secondary to your actions, and that the latter is what decides whether you’re a “good” person or not. In the end, someone who’s had a good life and was a dick for selfish reasons, only to choose to be better, is more sympathetic and morally superior than someone who suffered a million unfair grievances, and proceeded to dole out a million unfair grievances, with no sign of stopping; Especially from an IRL perspective, and I think our IRL feelings sometimes influence how we engage with media, and vice-versa.

            That’s why the finale –and the show as a whole– emphasizes choices, over inherent, instinctual feelings. A decent chunk of Camila’s arc could be summarized by the word Squick; In the sense that it’s meant to describe things that one feels personal disgust and discomfort towards, but otherwise has no moral condemnation or problem with; It’s just a Me thing, is the point of Squick. Camila is like that sex-repulsed ace who nevertheless supports kink at Pride.

            That gets me to how my ruminations were prompted by a similar observation; How some people lump sex-repulsed aces in with the oppressive Puritans who hate sex in anything, but that’s not true at all. Obviously there’s the rare Exception, but as a whole, sex-repulsed aces are on the side of other queers who ARE sexual and are demanding to let these things be normalized; It’s not for them, but they have no moral condemnation and will fight for it in solidarity anyway, especially since both are hated by the system regardless. Sound familiar?

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

ok the askbox is open. im taking this opportunity to say ohhhhh im going crazy over the narrative constructed here. specifically with how audience (anon) interaction is intertwined with the main conflict.

because its like.. we are inherently a BAD THING. yes, some of us are actually malicious, but even if we do have kind intentions, and only want the best for ragatha.. just being there is a negative impact that outweighs any positives. we are a parasite, after all. and technically, the only positive action we could do is to simply.. stop engaging. leave the askblog alone. leave ragatha alone. except we could never do that, because we're too curious now, too attached- we want to see how the story continues, how it ends. we cant leave well enough alone, we just have to know. we need to know. so the cycle will continue nonetheless due to our nature. and we have to watch as our main character, the person we're rooting for, gets worse and worse. knowing that its our fault, because we're choosing to engage. we're choosing this path of pain. because we're curious, and that curiosity would kill us if we didn't feed it.

and of course its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things lol. no hate btw. im here enjoying it after all! though honestly i say that like this had any opportunity of existing outside of the askblog genre... or even the tumblr landscape itself- i feel like the anon feature itself is also a big part of this sort of narrative, as it allows those actively malicious anons to be even nastier. because it distances us from our actions. like.. we're given a mask, something that obscures our true identities (both to the other askers.. and to ragatha to an extent, as most all look the same to her. who knows, maybe that one supportive anon trying to cheer her up is the same one also encouraging her downfall! she cant tell!)- a thing that wipes our hands free of any consequences. a chance to become faceless and untraceable- so of course some people will indulge. be as horrible as possible. because, hey, its not like you'll be getting any consequences for it! no way to trace it back to you! no way to be held accountable! you can just sit back and watch the fire you made grow higher. more bright. thats the main goal, after all- to make a spectacle! to move the story along and make it exciting! thats the only thing that matters to you. that its entertaining. not the people you'll be harming in the process.

anyways sorry for the fucking. essay. in your askbox. i like talking and also i fucking love dissecting meta-aligned narratives like this. gggrrggrgrgrrrr chewing on this blog like a chewtoy. i hope everyone gets worse and this whole blog blows up!!!!!!!

i can't stop giggling at ' its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things ' . this was really originally supposed to just be a silly blog with little story but here we are . you really won't get this anywhere else

i get pretty happy when someone dissects this silly thing so no need to apologize !! i'm my own harshest critic when it comes to this blog so it's often difficult for me to grasp what meaning people get out of this lol truly thank you guys for wanting to see my insane , Unhinged ideas come through

and i love the dissection on the mean anons - a lot of this thing hinges on actions having consequences after all ! every little thing will have an impact on ragatha's mental state . i'll say i think the anons have potential to not be as harmful - as there was a point in the blog's time where they acted more like inner therapists to ragatha than reality-bending beings of chaos ( good times ) . it just really depends on being patient with an actually mentally ill person like ragatha - it does fascinate me how people's frustration with her echoes real life mental health situations .

but yeah thanks !!! i'll be kissing this essay and pinning it on the refrigerator that i call my brain (:

[captorations]

just saw someone criticize tlt for having too many epithets and. that is. the worst take i have seen in a long time. tell me you have fanfic brain poisoning without telling me you have fanfic brain poisoning.

look, i'm firmly on the side of being careful with epithets. it's actually a pet peeve of mine. seeing people repeatedly referred to by their hair colors or race or other physical descriptors is the fastest way to get me to close a book or hit the back button on a fic, far more so than grammatical errors or the like. that's not because of the epithets, but because of how they're being misused.

it is possible to use epithets just for variety, but that should be kept to an absolute minimum. a far more valid use of epithets is to draw attention to traits which are currently relevant. if one character is being manhandled by another, referring to the former as the smaller one, or the latter as the larger one, or even vice versa depending on context, is an excellent form of imagery. but that's a relatively pedestrian use. effective and useful, but not necessarily powerful; not phrases you can build stories around.

but you can build stories around epithets, because the best possible use of epithets in fiction is to tell you what the pov character is thinking, or not thinking, without saying it directly. it's one of the most powerful methods of showing rather than telling.

the first time gideon calls harrow "her necromancer" in tlt is crucial. it's blink-and-you-miss-it, but it marks the first time gideon sees harrow as hers. which is both negative, in that it's possessive, and positive, in that it means she actually fucking cares! which before then, and for a good long while after, she couldn't consciously admit to herself, much less harrow!

for the record, gideon first calls harrow her necromancer after having spent days wrestling with herself over whether she should care about harrow being apparently missing, wavering back and forth before giving in and searching for her, and eventually finding her unconscious because harrow is a moron who kept working until she passed out in a haunted basement. gideon calls harrow her necromancer as she is carrying her, having confirmed that she is unharmed but dehydrated and having just seen her briefly struggle back to consciousness for the express purpose of bitching at someone.

every time it is used thereafter, it carries the weight of every time it has been said previously. the necromancer-cavalier dynamic in the world of tlt is fascinating, both on a conceptual level and in every example we are given. hell, it's the closest thing their society has to gender roles, but that's another essay, and a very pretentious one i have no intention of writing.

tlt is a master class in using epithets correctly. again, if you're just so fucking sick of epithets being misused in fanwork, i get it. i'm right there with you. but epithets are not inherently bad, no more than alliteration is, or goddamn semicolons.

on the other hand, if the person meant the silly nicknames gideon keeps giving harrow, then i'm even more baffled. at that point you just have no taste or sense of humor. but as a rule i prefer to turn venting into lectures that are potentially helpful to others; it's not like i've tagged the person who i saw do this, i'm not here to start a fight.

anyway. to summarize. epithets used randomly to replace calling people by their names: generally bad. epithets used to create imagery or remind the reader of details relevant to the situation: good, useful. epithets used to show changes in perspective and show rather than tell: fucking excellent.

[suffarustuffaru]

We need more re:zero fanfics that are just characters being forced to go to therapy. Subaru is ordered by the Royal Knights to attend weekly sessions (that secretly double as interrogations, though due to patient confidentiality the therapist is only able to pass on information that regards other people being put in danger) and the therapist stumbles out of there every week needing a drink because trying to make something coherent out of a conversation with Natsuki Subaru concerning anything related to his fluctuating emotional state and the very obvious/mysterious trauma underpinning all of his actions is practically an Olympic sport — and that was before unearthing his self-harm habit, severe inferiority complex, and what may be suicidal tendencies. Reinhard is so emotionally repressed that he’s refusing to let himself feel anything even regarding having to face off against his grandmother’s corpse and his superiors keep walking back the meager process any sessions manage to make. Otto seems perfectly normal and then he mentions being willing to die for Subaru’s sake as soon as three days after he met him. Ram just sits there glaring for the full hour and a half. Wilhelm uses the time to express his latest revenge plot in very well thought out detail. Heinkel is such a horrible mess that I can’t even make a joke out of what he’d do to that poor therapist’s emotional state. Roswaal doesn’t seem to realize what therapy IS. That poor therapist is in Hell.

anon ive always wanted to see something like this for sure HAH its just such a fascinating idea?? especially when 99% of people in the rz cast desperately need extensive therapy 😭😭 but yeah theres different ways you could take an idea like this and the conditions you set are really interesting.

the idea of it being a therapist appointed by the government, essentially, who’s also there to gather information (but keeps at least some details hidden for the sake of their patients) so the government can keep a leash on certain characters (subaru and reinhard particularly) + subaru is still locked by rbd taboo of course is so fascinating to me. of course—is it ideal conditions for therapy? hell no lmao 😭😭 but its a super good in universe explanation as to why theyre getting therapy (other than all of them being Mentally Unwell)—and given the therapist and everyone in the cast minus subaru and al are working with medieval knowledge, the odds were not in their favors anyway oops. and this is assuming that the cast has the BEST THERAPIST IN THE FANTASY WORLD POSSIBLE for this!! haah theyve got a real difficult job ahead of them.

and also an idea like this is difficult to write. ive always wanted a “rz cast goes to therapy” fic hah but writing the FULL cast is tricky!! tbh id feel bad not including at least a good chunk of the cast in a fic like this given SO MANY of them desperately need therapy. and this idea is Extremely character focused—you have to know every character’s intimate traumas and flaws and personalities to pull this sort of thing off. its inherently in depth character exploration, and depending on how Good you want the therapist character to be, youd probablyyy have to do at least a bit of research (??) (unless you have personal experience in this department already??) there on. how to write a therapist? but thats just me getting fixated on the practical aspects of this wkdndn this is definitely why we havent really seen much fic on this sort of idea yet. i think itd work really well as a collab though, possibly!! you can devote a therapy session to one character per chapter or something and mix it up later the further it goes on <3 or at least thats my idea for this at the moment. i think one therapy session per chapter would be very good leadup though in a Hypothetical Fic about this, and you then have the time to explore each character in depth and introduce each of them!!

ok as for the examples you gave anon—HAH yeah thats a good summary for sure 😭😭 again, this is interesting because these are Not good conditions for therapy.

they all think with their medieval knowledge. subaru cant talk about rbd and everything related to it, which is his biggest core trauma. reinhards superiors dont want him to improve because hes their perfect malleable obedient weapon right now and they chose to break him like that. they probably wont want heinkel to improve much either, given theres implications that people like russell fellow purposely helped make heinkel Worse (such as the false rumors that he kidnapped one of the royal familys kids). and also regarding characters like heinkel—he wont improve if he doesnt get some sort of rehab on top of the therapy akdnd and he wont improve if he doesnt make an effort either. and also i know theres characters like petra who are way more normal compared to everyone else and shes not in dire need of therapy unlike everyone else, but id argue petra should at least have a check up because girl is a twelve year old thats been shoved into life threatening events recently okay 😭😭 AND the astreas are gonna need some hardcore family therapy wkdndn theyll just need individual sessions first to work up to that……… but will the kingdom really allow that to happen either?

yeah so the therapist is in for a reckoning in general 😭😭 with the plot you gave anon—if the therapist genuinely tries their best, this could result in some friction. the therapist hears out all these big important people related to the royal selection—roswaal, the astreas, various other emilia camp members, and people from other factions im sure (such as julius, joshua, ferris, crusch, etc)—but the therapist is held back from fully helping all of them because the kingdom keeps them all on a leash, including the therapist themselves. will the therapist succumb to what the kingdom wants and ensure they never improve past a certain point? or ensure they never improve at all?

it creates this overarching plot to an otherwise standard premise i think—and theres a bittersweetness because the therapist cant fully help them as it is right now. and its hard to help characters like subaru and reinhard who are Incomprehensible in their own ways. even in the fantasy world with its Wide Range of dangerous traumatic events tinged with magic, subaru and reinhard are absolutely outliers. plus as i said earlier, some characters Want to improve so badly and will try their best to do so (such as emilia) and some might not have much desire to even try (such as heinkel). everyone in the cast have their own goals, motivations, and a lot of them to some degree will be unreliable narrators either purposefully or accidentally or unwittingly. the otto example you gave anon is so true because i an SO sure his ass would pretend to be normal bc he doesnt want to be there only to accidentally reveal hes not 😭😭😭 joshua is another good example bc of his hate love relationship with his brother and how he tries to conceal it by gaslighting himself into worshipping his brother’s every move and trying to live vicariously through him (joshua also hates reinhard too but pretends not to so theres that too) 👍👍👍 and also emilia and reinhard are examples of characters whove been taught the absolute WORST lessons in the world so youd have to get into unravelling that 😭😭 like theyre both afraid to be closer to others out of fear of hurting them, they have issues regarding what people see them as and what people expect them to be, learned powerlessness, terrible father figures, guilt complexes, being blamed for things that arent their fault, also the fucked up family history, etc etc. there is SO much baggage HAH.

and again, the poor therapist is getting a bunch of rz main characters and crucial side characters—many of them are well known in some way, or important political figures, and they ALL got the most buck wild stories so the stakes are Very High😭😭 itll be a fun ride im sure!! but i do think this idea is super super neat. id love to explore each and every character and all their nuances—i think a fic like this would only really fully work if youre sympathetic towards everyone, but youre not afraid to get them for their faults too. wilhelm, heinkel, roswaal are good examples. clind too by proxy, given frederica needs to get away from his ass too (RAM ALSO NEEDS TO GET AWAY FROM ROSWAAL ISTG.) and again, a fic like this requires in depth knowledge of all these characters or the premise can fall apart a bit—this is a fic all about exploring their deepest traumas after all <3

but yeah anyway i too am in dire need of a rz cast goes to therapy fic anon!!! T^T thank you for the ask i will continue to think on this idea 🙏

[angelsdean]

I'll have to think abt it a little more but post-rewatch of 2x14 I think Meg was "telling truths" specifically to push buttons and press on Dean, Jo, and Sam's specific insecurities. I think she tells them what THEY think is true, to some extent and also is pulling from Sam's POV, pulling on things Sam thinks are true, but twisting them with cruelty to mess with and hurt others. Like we know Sam has been warring with his own feelings and fears abt becoming evil. He's been begging Dean to promise to follow through on John's words and kill him if it ever gets bad. And Meg, while possessing Sam just reiterates these feelings.

Then what she says to Dean:

But whatever I do to you, it's nothing compared to what you do to yourself, is it? I can see it in your eyes, Dean. You're worthless. You couldn't save your Dad, and deep down ... you know that you can't save your brother. They'd have been better off without you.

These are Dean's fears and insecurities that he's been dealing with this season. But just like Sam's fears of being corrupted and inherently evil, these fears are also untrue. But Meg is a demon. She will present these things as true because she wants to break down these characters. She wants Dean to lose hope. To not be able to trust his own judgement. Dean is not worthless. Dean can save his brother. But it's in Meg / Hell's interest for Dean to lose hope. And Dean already feels these things to be true about himself, so Meg pressed on that wound, just like she does with Sam's insecurities.

And then Jo. First there's her feelings about Dean. Meg-as-Sam taunts her for her crush and insists Dean doesn't feel the same way. Sees her as sister and younger / naive. It's delivered cruelly but I'm inclined to believe these words are rooted in truth, or at least, a perceived truth, as he previous jabs have been truths the characters feel about themselves. In this case, I do think Jo fears that her crush is not reciprocated, and thus Meg presses on that wound. But I also think Meg is drawing on some of Sam's perspective too. Maybe even things Dean has said to Sam about Jo, but twisting them cruelly. This is simply my interpretation of course and it is not the only one, but I do generally see Dean and Jo's dynamic as a hero worship / mentor mentee / unrequited crush. He sees her as yet another young person looking up to him. They are not on even footing. I've written before about how Dean sees her as another responsibility because she's naive and new to hunting. Nothing about this opinion has to do with her being "a girl", it's simply that she is a liability because of her inexperience. Anyway, I mention these things because I think there is good evidence that points to Dean not really feeling the same way toward Jo, and thus some "truth" to Meg's words, while also still playing into Jo's personal insecurities about the situation. Jo later asks Dean if demons can sometimes tell the truth and Dean says yes, especially if they know it will mess with your head. However, Jo is asking this moreso in regards to what Meg-as-Sam says about what happened to Bill.

Which is yet another fascinating scene. And perhaps THIS one is a more objective truth. Or a pure lie. Because unlike with the other scenarios, neither Jo or Sam know what happened with Bill and John. This is all Meg. Coming from what she, as a demon, may or may not know.

When I look at all four scenarios, I can almost see a spectrum of lies to truths. Sam's "true nature" are lies but truths Sam believes about himself. We know Sam is not inherently evil for simply having psychic vision. Dean has been reiterating Sam is not "destined" to become evil, that he has a choice, that he is still good, no matter what Azazel may have planned. Dean being "worthless" is also a lie but a truth Dean believes about himself. Jo's insecurities about Dean's feelings for her, lean more truth, as we can see instances of Dean treating her like a kid and turning her down romantically. And then the Bill and John stuff. Could be HARD LIE to simply hurt Jo. Could also be a truth. John does seem the type to shoot someone to put them out of their misery after all. And what did John tell Dean at the start of this season? If you can't save Sam, you have to kill him. If Bill really was holding his own guts and bleeding out, he'd have been beyond saving. So what would John have likely done? Kill him.

[here-comes-the-bard]

man my post from. yesterday or day before. is making me think like. i don't know what it would look like if yaevinn DID decide he was tired of being nice and just wanted to go apeshit. mostly because he's getting to the point of being like. yeah both is good tbh. i will be nice but if you fuck around you will find the fuck out.

he's very much a "my trauma did not make me kind, i made me kind. do not credit my abuser and oppressors for my kindness" person. his philosophy is something along the lines "the world was unkind to me and unkind to others, but why should i be unkind? if I didn't deserve it, neither do others. might as well be a light in a world of darkness". and honestly that's a big part of what makes him who he is. i cannot imagine yaevinn without it honestly.

but i think that's what makes it an interesting exercise. what would yaevinn be like if at some point (after asylum, it's important to note, as really that's The Big One and just kind of amplified the previous issue) he just said "being kind is exhausting and i'm exhausted so fuck this". because aside from the horrors i think it's genuinely exhausting for him to be kind in the face of unkindness. it is simultaneously an effort and an instinct for him. and it's fascinating to wonder what would happen if he not only gave it up, but just went in the opposite direction (because ngl if he just gave up on it as a whole he'd just. kinda vanish off the face of the earth and not interact with anyone).

the thing is, he wouldn't become gleefully cruel. in fact i think he'd actually really dislike it and dislike himself for it, but what else is he supposed to do? it wouldn't feel right, but it'd be all he knew because being "good" clearly wasn't working. i think he'd just feel so. empty. where his world now is filled with colors that can sometimes be overwhelming but that he wouldn't give up for anything, his world in an au where he actually gave it up would be so grey and bland that i kind of think it'd impact his mental health, to put it in a less rough way.

not sure whether he would've missed his calling as an assassin or not but considering he learned his archery and dagger techniques as self-defense i think there's a good chance he wouldn't have.

i think he would've kept a lower profile due to his shame honestly. would've gone from a little timid and anxious to nearly reclusive. wouldn't want let anyone see him like this because the feeling of being inherently bad would become a self-fulfilling prophecy. this is all he is. a monster is all he could've ever been. and yet, he does let people see it. because look what the world has done to him. how can you hold good in your heart when the world has done nothing to return it. he'd see himself in it, and he'd see it as pathetic because of that.

i just like. fr the thing is i think he'd have this constant feeling that it wasn't supposed to happen this way. he wasn't supposed to be like this, and yet there's no other path.

and he doesn't even know that there was. and he could've seen so many beautiful things if he'd kept the kindness in his heart. but how could he? why would he?

i honestly think it's something like this post tbh. just crushed under the weight of his ideals because upholding them broke and splintered every single fucking bone in his body. i might have fundamentally misunderstood the post but isn't art less about what you put into it and more about what people get out of it or something like that.

anyway sorry if you read this whole thesis, be sure to like comment and subscribe for more content that makes me kinda glad i didn't make him worse. i'm gonna make either a pinterest board or a section in his pinterest but considering he is schrodinger's Fundamentally The Same Character (both is and really isn't) i'm not sure. uhhh this is a fun character exercise if you wanna do it. it doesn't have to be an essay tho this is just how i get out my thoughts. ok bye

[afaroffsong]

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

bonfire - describe your dream house.

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date? 

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

Everything. I want to know everything about you, my dear. ^_^

Best friend - My best friend (besides you) is my sister. I don't know what my impression of her was, but I'm told I tried several times to poke her in the eye. I was exactly 15 months, 6 days and 12 hours old when she was born.

Advice to my younger self - Oh. I've actually thought about this a lot. Little me needed a lot of advice and guidance she never got. Probably I would tell my 11-year-old self to trust God, trust that He cares, and pray a lot more. Maybe I would tell my 12-year-old self, "God doesn't hate you." I really needed to hear that. One or the other.

Hobby/skill I've always wanted to try - I've always wanted to dance. I did ballet as an 8-year-old. I was really quite terrible at it. But Irish dancing has my heart...

Fictional character I identify with - Beth March. She is literally me. Or I am literally her. Except she is much kinder and more selfless.

Dream wardrobe - *sigh* I am not a fashionable person. I would be happy wearing plain black leggings and purple/blue/black sweaters for the rest of my life. That being said, I do wish I could find clothes that actually look flattering on me. It seems everything these days is made for women with my sister's body type. We never share clothes because the moment I see her wearing something of my own I say, "Right. That's it. Keep it. It looks way better on you anyway." XD

Food I disliked as a child but now enjoy - Stuff with yeast in it. I hated the flavour of yeast as a child. I don't mind it now. Either that or soup/stew--little me thought it was disgusting, but I could eat soup every day.

Unpopular opinion - Oh dear. I don't know. I think liquorice is quite tasty? Most people don't. XD

How well would I do in a zombie apocalypse - I would either die in a really dumb way or trying to protect my siblings. I don't think I would last very long. XD

If I could look like any celebrity - Hmm, this one stumped me. Audrey Hepburn was very pretty.

Have I ever encountered a house I believed to be haunted - I don't think so. If ghosts are real I am among the majority of people who are totally clueless to their existence.

One thing I'd like to happen this autumn - I would like to enter my first dressage competition on my pony. But that would take a lot of courage, more than I have at the moment.

School subject I wish I had an aptitude for - History. Fascinating, of course, but nothing ever stuck in my head.

Dream house - Small, cosy, located in the countryside. A few stables, a lot of land. A family, some horses, a dog, maybe. I don't really dream about what it would look like, mostly how I would like it to feel.

Different time period - I'm quite happy in this modern age BUT if I had to go back in time... maybe the 50's? It's a time period I don't know much about. Also I'd like to wear dresses in my day-to-day life without that being weird, but also have the convenience of electricity and plumbing, etc.

Do I miss high school - I was homeschooled and no. I was so stressed out for no reason. And lonely. Not a fun time.

A physical feature I get complimented on - My hair, occasionally. Maybe once every other year.

The weirdest encounter I've had with a stranger on the street - I honestly believe my baby brother and I were nearly kidnapped once. We were walking on the road, a white van with two men inside stopped alongside us and they just stared and smiled at us. It was very creepy and I don't know why they drove away, but I was EXTREMELY happy when they did.

Tea - one sugar cube, a drop of milk. Decaf so I don't vibrate into oblivion.

Do I think humans are inherently good or bad - I think everyone is, inherently, both. Made in the image of God but raised in a broken world. Environment, potential, choices, experiences--these all add up. I have a hard time putting my thoughts on deeper subjects like this into words.

Neat or messy - Unfortunately I am very messy. If I didn't share a room with my sister I would probably be worse. (She hates my mess.)

Gone on a bad date - I have never been on a date, period. XD

Hair - I have always wanted curly hair. I don't really mind what colour--I am too dark in complexion, probably for anything lighter than what I have, which is really really dark brown.

Someone I miss having in my life - Probably just extended family in general. My grandparents on my mother's side keep in touch with me, but everyone else seems to have forgotten we're still alive over here in the little country of Ireland.

Thank you for the many, many asks, I really enjoyed answering them. :D <33

[blu-engineer]

Why is banban bad plural red I watched like. A third of snoepy (?)'s playthrough of game 1

you guys are good, dw! i wouldn't necessarily call it bad rep (although you could definitely make a case for that), but it's definitely among the worst rep of 2023! banban and gollum shits below the cut:

for me, the distinction between bad rep and worst rep goes something like this:

bad rep is a portrayal of plurality that ends up being harmful in its depiction- think something like split. the movie goes above and beyond trying to demonize its system villain, and (though it did bring some visibility to plurals) ultimately i think it's safe to say it did more harm than good.

worst rep, at least to me, is where the characters' source game/movie/whatever is flawed in however it executes its depiction! here is where gollum & smeagol come in also. the TL;DR is that, in-game, they're a system of 2 members who were formed after smeagol encountered the One Ring and fuckshit happened. their plurality is actually a mechanic in-game.

here's some screencaps from the gollum game. because gollum & smeagol are the main characters of the game, someone came up with the decision to let the player take sides in internal arguments. this, on paper, is a cool mechanic! however, in practice, this concept didn't work out. because the game sucked.

so for the sake of the argument, let's boil it down to this:

good and bad are a scale of the representation's harmfulness vs accuracy/positive portrayal, and best to worst is a scale of the rep's source media and its quality. of course, i think this is all much more complicated than what we've got going on here, but it's a start for what we're gonna do.

so far, we've basically got this kind of thing going on:

i haven't seen split outside of the plural community's reaction to the movie, so i think i'm not equipped to rank if the movie itself was the best-of whenever-the-hell-it-came-out or not. besides, my opinion is inherently biased anyway.

garten of banban, on the other hand, i feel more equipped to talk about!

let me just start off, plain and simple. i can't find a single metric by which these games (specifically 3 and 4- they discuss and portray banban's plurality the most, and came out this year (i think)) would be the "best of 2023". i think, in terms of relatively well-known games, we can safely mark this game as among the worst- which is why i included it with gollum on my previous post.

in terms of good vs bad, i also happen to think banban (the character, not the game)'s plurality is also not fantastic rep. i'll spare you the details (because i fucking hated every second of witnessing this game), but essentially, banban is composed of 2 "sides"- the memories and core personality of his genetic donor, dr. uthman adam, and his "base instincts" (i can't remember the exact wording. i refuse to go back into scorpy's vod to check, and the banban wiki seems to be written by literal children.). obviously, this plays a lot into the "evil alter" trope (and he literally hulks out like a damn cartoon character), and in-game banban seems to REALLY WANT to suppress that side of him down. if they played this like Actual Plurality- like uthman being a factive (which would be FASCINATING if the lore was actually good), and the base-instincts side being some sort of persecutor/protector- it would work. but as it stands now, banban (character) is bad rep, and garten of banban (game) is one of the worst games he could be in.

so that leaves us about here!

of course, obligatory reminder that every system is different, not all systems have roles for their headmates, and so on. if you& (rhetorical, not directed at sender of the ask) see yourselves in any of these depictions, that's perfectly fine and i wish y'all well.

thank you for coming to my TED talk that made witnessing Garten of BullShit retroactively a little more tolerable. i look forward to more worst plural rep shitposting in the future

(p.s; i control-F'd for the amount of parentheses in this post and i hit ~14 parenthese'd segments. i love including additional information that is not necessary to understand things)

(p.p.s; i've pluralposted on cohost about some of my favorite rep in different media/s, if anyone wants to hear some of my other takes i'm more than happy to type something else up or crosspost smth)

[abeautifulnerdbouquet]

I have somehow avoided that experience lol

The reason why I love him so much is specifically because he is a flawed character. I love a story with an unreliable narrator, and him being unreliable because of his bad memory AND because he misinterprets things is honestly super fun to read. I like that he goes down a darker path than most protags, because I hate main characters who don’t make a decision ever (like authors who don’t want to ever be divisive…) so I have a fondness for antiheros who make bad choices, because at least they made a choice

And WWX is such an endearing character because you can ALMOST justify what be does based on the text. Like you get his perspective and you know that he’s trying his best to live according to his moral principles and to protect everyone he loves but the fact that that is exactly what dooms them is a huge part of the plot!

So yeah, he’s flawed and his morality is very flexible and he is not someone you should REVERE, but he is someone you can understand and feel empathy for. THAT is what makes him a good character

As for shitting on anyone who is mean to him ever, that’s ridiculous. The tragedy of it is in his complex and broken relationships, Jiang Cheng especially, despite how poorly he treats WWX it’s also understandable and you can see how much he struggles with his love for his brother and his anger with the person who took his sister from him, like that is a fascinating relationship! It’s doing JC a great disservice by just chalking him up as a hater

Tbh I don’t get how ppl who read it like that like it? Everything that makes it a fantastic read for me is the subtleties, the shades of grey, the inherent tragedy of shared sacrifices that doom the characters. That’s what makes it compelling!

Anyway I hope you find more fandom spaces w ppl you can happily engage w and share your MDZS passion w! They’re definitely out there 💚

believe it or not, I was a HUGE Wei wuxian stan when I first entered the fandom. like borderline simp thats how hard I was stanning. then I went on Tumblr and met a bunch the fans and they were kinda.... well

a whole bunch of them were literally worshipping wwx and being like "he's the best protag in the history of protags and he is flawless and has committed no wrongs ever" "him killing people so badass" "everyone he killed, accident or not deserved it 100%" and then shitting aggressively on every other character that has directly or indirectly even slightly wrong or contradict him like the classics Jiang Cheng and jiggy etc etc, even lan xichen once in a while for some weird reason like ???????

the tone was a little strange like if I dipped my toes into the Wei wuxian simpstan pool then they are wading into it towards the deep end at full speed

ofc there are lots of rather lovely wwx stans out there too but its just the cluster of weird people radiating a almost cultlike vibe that just kind of ruined it for me

still love wwx, wonderful little gremlin guy, super cute design, has a minidoll, posters and some badges of him, nicely flawed character, love a good meta about him, but the flame of admiration has just been lowkey put out because of the HIGHKEY off putting little cluster of Wei wuxian cultist/simps

is it a me exclusive experience or have you encountered the Wei Wuxian Worshiper Cult in the vast labyrinths of Tumblr.com please let me know in the comments