#anyways i hope things get better soon but i have much to do
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Doctor's In - Part 12
Summary: Wanda deals with the aftermath of your breakup.
A/N: This chapter is focused on Wanda. Big thanks to @a-cat-on-titan for an idea that made it on a part of the fic :)
Aint no mountain high enough
Ain’t no valley low enough
“Ain’t no river wiiideee enoough” Wanda dances around the kitchen, singing.
It’s never quiet around the house. There’s always music, or drilling or hammering. Because she’s taken into making (badly built) furniture. And pottery. And yoga.
To anyone else, it may seem like Wanda’s living her best life.
But Pietro’s not just anyone.
His sister is running away from her feelings, keeping herself busy just so she doesn’t have time to miss you.
“Oh, morning. Want anything for breakfast?”
“I’ll make something later, thank you” he refuses the offer, feeling better and finding his movements to be more confident after another month in physical therapuy. “How did you sleep?”
“Children, we’re late for school!” Wanda ignores him. That’s the one thing she can’t do. Sleep. She’ll rest for a few hours, but as soon as everyone’s asleep, Wanda gets too anxious. Her only solution is to put on a pair of headphones and paint or do pottery or anything else until it’s 3 am and she’s too tired to think.
Or dream.
“Billy, where is your soccer bag? You boys have practice after school!” Wanda says, trying to look for it. Kids, always misplacing everything.
“I don’t wanna go to soccer anymore! I already told you” he protests. Pietro looks up, prepared for another argument.
It’s been happening since you left.
“Sweetheart, you love soccer!”
“No, I don’t! I only liked it because Y/N helped me practice during the weekends and it was fun. I’m not going anymore”
With that, he leaves the house and heads straight to the car, slamming the door. Wanda knows he’ll be crying on the way to school and will refuse to hug her goodbye, the same way he’s done every day for the past month.
“Tommy, grab your stuff” the woman says, trying to pretend everything’s fine.
Unfortunately for her, the twins don’t let her pretend, showing how hurt they are and how much they miss you.
It’s just a phase.
“I have a meeting with Laura, I’ll come back later” she says goodbye to Pietro, hoping the car ride can be a bit better.
“Ok” is all he says, frowning.
There’s only one way to fix this. He just hopes his sister will find a way to forgive him after finding out what he did.
—
Laura is waiting with coffee and some biscuits. She’s always looking at Wanda anxiously, waiting for the moment that everything will finally collapse and she’ll feel all the things she’s avoiding.
So far, nothing.
“Hey! Oh, the boys are being so difficult lately. How did you manage with Cooper?” Wanda always walks in with a monologue ready, which never gives Laura the chance to ask her how she’s doing.
“I don’t know. I mean I don’t think that was a difficult age for him” she grimaces, thinking whether or not to tell Wanda this has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with her breakup.
“Is this the book? Oh my God, it looks amazing!” she changes the topic, knowing where the conversation is headed. As she opens to read the first pages, her smile fades. “Well, we need to get rid of that”
That as in, the dedication. The words that were written for you. Because you helped with the book, with taking care of the kids, with encouraging Wanda.
This was supposed to be a gift for you. Like the first book Wanda ever wrote, and she dedicated to the twins. And so on with every one of her family members.
You were the last piece of the puzzle. And she had hoped that someday she’d dedicate the next one to a baby girl. A daughter that looked just like you.
“Wanda…” Laura says, noticing the cracks in her friend’s perfect facade.
“Anyway! I have to go do some grocery shopping. I’m making coq au vin tonight”
“Do the kids eat that?”
“Sure!”
Of course they don’t. But chicken is too fast and she needs to be distracted and have a lot of dishes to clean and keep her mind occupied.
“Well, this is a first prototype. Once I speak with the publishing company we’ll get a date for the release” Laura says. “Hey, are you sure you’re ok?”
“Never been better” Wanda lies. “See you later, Laura”
Of course, the trip to the grocery store is not enough to calm her, not when there’s a woman wearing scrubs, looking exhausted and trying to figure out which baking powder is better.
“This one’s good if you want to bake cookies” she says, finding it hard to look away. “Sorry, you didn’t ask”
“No, that’s fine. Appreciate it” the woman nods, grabbing the one Wanda suggested and walking to another woman that is also wearing scrubs. They chat as they walk to the register.
Now Wanda regrets talking to them. What if they used to work with you? What if they tell everyone they saw her and she was being a weirdo talking to them first?
Worried about running into someone else, she hurries up with the shopping, and practically sprints to her car.
It takes her a few minutes to calm down. She forgets about the radio, until it begins playing.
One of your songs.
Wanda doesn’t have time to change the station, getting a call. She doesn’t really notice who it’s from, wishing nothing more than to disappear.
“Miss Maximoff? This is Tommy’s teacher”
Ok, that will distract her for sure.
“Is he ok? Are he and Billy…?”
“We’re gonna need you to come to the principal’s office, please”
—
A fight.
His sweet, wonderful boy getting into a fight. Well, that was a lie. And no one was going to mess with Wanda’s children.
“Sweetheart?” she approaches her boy, sitting outside the Principal’s office. His clothes are dirty, and his hair is full of weeds. “Who did this to you?”
“Miss Maximoff” Principal Coleman says, ushering her inside. “Please, sit down. I know this is pretty much new to you. Your kids have good grades, the teachers love them… but I’m sorry to tell you Tommy got into a fight today”
“Oh, but… he is the sweetest kid. I just can’t imagine him hurting anyone”
“Well, according to Daniel, Tommy was the one who started it” the Principal says, leaning back in her chair.
“Ok, why don’t we ask Tommy about it? Hear his side of the story”
“I already did but if you’d like to, be my guest” the woman says, standing up to open the door for Tommy. “Go on, tell your mom what you told me”
“I started the fight” Tommy mutters, looking at his feet. “I’m sorry”
“Are you ok? And Daniel?”
“Daniel only got a scratch on his arm. Look, this is a first time incident and Daniel’s parents were very understanding, so I’ll let you take the kids home and figure this out. But if it happens again…”
“Yes, of course. Thank you, Principal Coleman. And you said, to take both kids?”
“Yeah, Billy’s pretty upset about it” the Principal says, opening the door for them. “He’s at the library waiting for you”
Wanda walks next to her son, her mind racing. This has never happened, there must a logical explanation. She tries to keep her cool, but when she sees Billy sitting at the library, pulling nervously at his hair, she feels like a girl again, lost and confused.
She doesn’t know what to do or how to make things better.
“Billy, let’s go home” she says, waiting for him to walk out. The boy avoids her eyes, rushing past them and running straight to the exit.
“Mom” Tommy says, but she’s too overwhelmed.
“Later, Tommy”
The ride home is silent. Wanda doesn’t even play music, holding on to the wheel until her knuckles turn white.
You’d know what to do to make it better.
But now you’re gone.
She barely has time to park before Billy runs out of the car, opening the door and going upstairs.
“Wanna tell me what happened?” Wanda says, still in the driver’s seat. Tommy looks away, shrugging his shoulders.
“Daniel was mean”
“That’s not an excuse to hit someone, you know better than that, Tommy” she scolds him. “You’re grounded, go to your room. We’ll talk about this later”
He steps out, his head down. Wanda is waiting for him to walk inside the house when she sees a woman with short, gray hair inspecting her garden.
“Hello. Can I help you?” Wanda says, clearly on edge. She’s not in the mood for any more surprises today.
And as the woman turns around, her jaw drops.
“Mom!”
“Hello, dear”
“Grandma!” Tommy runs back to her. “It’s you!”
“Oh, my! Look at you, it’s been forever since I’ve seen you! You’re so tall” the woman says, hugging her grandson. “Where’s your brother? Did you leave school early?”
“Uh… let’s all get inside. Tommy, tell your brother to come back down, please” Wanda interrupts, knowing she’ll get unwanted advice about parenting as soon as her mother knows what happened at school today. “So, how… I mean when…”
“Mama, I hope your flight was good” Pietro walks up to the door, wrapping his mother in a hug.
“You knew she was coming” Wanda says, feeling her blood boiling.
That little Mama’s boy.
“Don’t make a fuss, Wanda” their mother scolds. “I’m just here to help. And I won’t be staying in your house, your neighbor rents a room down the street. Mrs. Davies, you probably know her”
“Yeah, of course I do” she answers, but her mother is already walking inside, inspecting Pietro.
“Now, how’s recovery? You look so thin, bratan. Oh! You got a dog!” the woman exclaims, Sparky running around her.
This is so not how she expected her day to go at all.
—
Wanda’s not allowed in the kitchen while her mother cooks, and she can’t clean either because that was the first thing Ekaterina Maximoff did as soon as she set foot in the house.
The list of things she can do to get distracted is drastically reduced, so she locks herself in her study, pretending to sketch.
But all she can think about is you.
This is exactly why she doesn’t like to have free time. The memories of how you filled every part of the house with laughter and love are just waiting around the corner to remind Wanda how badly she messed up.
She decides to check on the twins, who should be done with their homework around this time.
But only Billy’s in his bed, playing with a Rubik’s cube you gave him.
“Hey” Wanda says, as she opens the door. “Mind if I sit?”
Billy just shrugs his shoulders, eyes focused on the different colors of the puzzle.
“Wanna tell me what happened in school? Did Tommy really start the fight?”
Billy sighs, and then looks up.
“Daniel said some mean things. Like…”
“Like… sweetheart, you can tell me anything, I promise. I just want to understand what happened” Wanda reassures him, squeezing his hand.
“Daniel said he heard his dad talking about you and Y/N. How it wasn’t right that you were with her and that he was happy she was gone. And then… he said maybe now that Y/N wasn’t around I…” Billy covers his eyes, trying to hide the fact he’s crying.
“Come here” Wanda comforts him, her heart breaking. She’s sorry to say this, but she doesn’t blame Tommy for getting into a fight with Daniel, not after he said all those horrible things.
“He said that now that Y/N’s gone I was going to stop being a weirdo”
“My sweet boy, I am so sorry” Wanda says, kissing the top of his head. “What Daniel said is not ok and his father should teach him better. I promise you I will talk to him about it”
“Don’t be mad at Tommy, he was just upset” Billy asks, wiping the tears. “He misses Y/N and so do I”
“It’s ok” Wanda hugs her baby boy, rubbing his back in a soothing motion. She feels Billy relax against her, hugging her like he used to do before you left.
Correction.
Before Wanda kicked you out.
“Do you miss her?” he asks, his voice small. He knows his mother doesn’t want to talk about you. It upsets her too much.
“Of course I do”
“It’s just… it feels like you don’t care, Mama. Like you don’t even remember her at all” Billy says, crying more.
“I know. I’m not the best at this, darling. I guess I just miss her so much it hurts, and I rather not think about it at all. It’s a silly thing grown ups do”
“Do you know if she’s ok?”
“I think so. I hope so”
“Do you think she misses us too?”
“I’m sure she misses you and Tommy and Sparky”
Truth is, Wanda isn’t sure you have any love left for her. Not enough to miss her, at least.
—
The food tastes like home. Like the summers in the country side, or the cold days of winter where Wanda played with Pietro until Mama called them home for a dinner of warm soup and bread.
“Delicious” Pietro comments after the first bite and Wanda nods.
“I can never get the sauce for the Chkmeruli right” Wanda says, trying to figure out the missing ingredient. “Your is so much better, just like grandma’s”
“I’ll teach you how to get it right” Ekaterina promises. “The secret is in the amount of ingredients. And something that we’re not telling anyone else”
“Alright” Wanda nods.
“Now, boys. Tell me all about school. And your hobbies. Do you play videogames?”
Wanda watches her family interact, laughing at certain things, and looking at her mother with fascination.
There’s a certain guilt that takes over when she understands she wasted three years of her life for something that could have been solved with an honest conversation.
One day, her mother will be gone and she’ll regret not having spent more time with her.
There’s also another regret in the back of her mind.
She wishes you had met her mother.
“Excuse me for a moment” she says, standing up from the table and walking to the bathroom. She covers her mouth to stop from sobbing, but there are tears in her eyes and a weight in her stomach that doesn’t let her sleep or eat or live.
Wanda fucked up so badly and now she’ll never see you again.
“Oh, God” she says, trying to breath, and fix her makeup. She can’t let the boys see her like this.
It’s been an overwhelming day, that’s all.
I’m fine.
“Is everyone done? I’m cleaning the kitchen” she says as soon as she comes back, picking up the plates and rushing past her family.
The cleaning keeps her hands busy and mind at ease, but she's still humming a song, just to focus on something that isn’t those awful thoughts she just had.
“I’m sorry” Pietro says, walking with the help of his cane. “I know it feels like an ambush, and I know you don’t wanna talk about it, but you’re not ok. The kids are always fighting with you, you do everything but talk about what happened and Y/N’s stuff are still in the garage. Maybe… fixing things with Mama can give you some perspective. I don’t know. I’m a burden most of the time, without being able to walk or do more around here. I just wanted to help”
Wanda keeps cleaning, never turning around to ackowledge her brother. He sighs, scratching the back of his head and turning to leave the kitchen.
“You’ll never be a burden, Pietro” is all Wanda says, finally turning to look at him. He smiles.
“Try to get some rest”
“You too”
“Oh, and Daniel definitely deserved to get his ass kicked”
“I agree” Wanda laughs. “Don’t tell the kids, though”
Pietro makes a motion, as if sealing his lips.
Their mom walks to hug him, saying goodbye for the day.
“You can sleep in my room, I can take the couch” Wanda offers.
“None of that. Mrs. Davies is excited over her very first guest and I won’t be the one to disappoint that sweet woman. Get some rest. Tomorrow I’m making borsch”
“You don’t have to cook, I can handle it”
“Of course I have to. Your brother needs to gain some weight!” the woman says, kissing her daughter in both cheeks. She says something in Sokovian about her children eating all that American food, walking out to Mrs. Davies house.
Wanda’s done with cleaning, and she goes upstairs to say goodnight to the kids.
“Hey. You’re not grounded. Ok?” Wanda says when Billy falls asleep, looking at Tommy. “Thank you for looking after your brother”
“I am older by ten minutes” he says, like Pietro always does. Wanda smiles, kissing his forehead.
“Sleep well, sweet boy”
And as she walks to her room, that feels so empty ever since that night one month ago, Wanda’s not sure how long she can handle pretending that one day, your abscence won’t hurt as much.
—
She could fix this.
You always fixed things.
Wanda had gotten the message. You disappeared, no calls or texts, not even to let her know where you were staying.
And when she tried to reach out, you never answered.
But now she was worried and scared, and most of all, sorry for the things she had said to you.
Wanda needed to apologize, to tell you how much she loved you.
But even if that was the only thing on her mind, she was standing outside the hospital, trying to gather the courage to come in.
“Wanda” a voice said behind her. Although it was familiar, Wanda was disappointed when she turned around and saw Carol Danvers.
“Hey… I was just… I was looking for Y/N”
“Oh. Uh… you haven’t heard?” Carol stumbled with her words, caught completely off guard.
“Heard what? Is Y/N ok?” Wanda’s heart began to race… maybe you were injured and it was exactly why you hadn’t replied to any of her messages, or answered the phone when she called.
“Yeah, uh… oh, crap” Carol looked over Wanda’s shoulder. “If I were you I’d run back to my car”
“What?” Wanda turned around, her eyes meeting Darcy’s.
“You!” the brunette barked, walking faster. “You’re about to find out why I got banned from lacrosse in college, Maximoff”
“Let’s calm down” Carol asked, stepping between the two of them.
“No! I will not calm down. I hope you’re proud of yourself, Wanda. You told Y/N everything she’s always been afraid of hearing. That you can’t trust her or the 'we’ll be better without you', fucking fantastic, really!”
“Darcy, come on, we should get back inside” Carol said, pleading with Maria to help her. But Darcy was not done.
“All this bullshit of making her move in with you and be a family for what? To kick her out just because you had a shitty day? Because she was saving a life?”
“I just… I know I screwed up, but if I could just talk to her…”
“Well, for that you’d have to get on a plane to Boston. Because Y/N quit” Darcy said, amused at Wanda’s shocked expression. “Yeah, my best friend left without a second thought because of you. Way to screw over everyone, Wanda”
“I didn’t want this to happen”
“That’s not good enough, unfortunately. You got lucky, because Danver’s here. But I’m being serious, if I see you again I’m gonna make an even bigger scene”
Maria went after Darcy, who was clearly pissed off, leaving Carol and Wanda outside of the hospital.
“Do you know if she’s ok?” Wanda asked, looking down.
“She doesn’t answer anyone’s calls or texts, Wanda. All I know is she quit one week ago and got on a plane to Boston”
“Right… Well, I better go” she said, biting her lip. “Thanks for keeping Darcy from killing me”
“Yeah, we’re understaffed with Y/N gone. So I can’t really let Darcy get arrested” Carol joked, though it was also one way of reminding Wanda her actions had impacted a whole group of people outside of her.
“See you” Wanda nodded, walking fast to her car. Chief Fury almost clashed against her, as Wanda was looking anywhere but the path in front of her.
“I’m sorry”
“Bet you are” the man grumbled, walking to the hospital.
Even another man in a motorcycle couldn’t keep from staring at Wanda, his blue eyes cold as ice.
So, Wanda got on her car, and left without lookig back.
She lost you. Forever.
—-
“Morning” a very upbeat voice speaks as Ekaterina walks down the stairs.
“Morning, Mrs. Davies” she says, smiling.
“Oh, please, call me Sharon. Would you like some coffee?”
“I’ll take some tea”
“Of course. Very healthy!” the woman says, getting everything ready. Ekaterina takes a moment to look around, admiring all the plants in the room and the flower wallpaper.
“Are you a gardener?”
“Only for fun” Sharon says, putting some biscuits in a plate. “Can I just say, I love your accent?”
Ekaterina smiles, but keeps from answering that. Though people were nice about it, she knew others had always been critical of her for not learning “proper” English when her family moved to America.
Which is why she was happy to return to Sokovia when things settled. The US was never her home, even if it was for her children.
“Was the family happy to see you?”
“Oh, yes. Especially my daughter” Ekaterina jokes, though it flies over Sharon’s head. Of course she doesn’t know that they have a complicated relationship. “I do hope she has been a good neighbor to you. I raised her to be kind”
“Oh, she’s great. Always baking stuff for everyone, the kids are very polite and well behaved too. She’s a great girl, just as Y/N. They were good together. I hope Y/N is doing ok” Sharon says, pouring every single detail that Ekaterina wanted to know.
Well, seems like it’s gonna be easier than she thought.
“Yes, this Y/N girl. Can you tell me more about her?” she says in a casual tone, and Sharon is happy to talk about you.
“Well, she moved to the neighborhood like two years ago. She’s a surgeon, always working. Honestly, very quiet but very nice. One time I fell in the sidewalk and she slept in the couch just to make sure someone was around in case I needed something”
Very impressive. It was the kind of thing that would make Ekaterina approve of anyone dating her children.
“And she was with Wanda?”
“Well… I’m not sure I should talk about this” Sharon hesitates for the first time.
“I’m just curious, as a mother…”
Ah, the mother card.
It works so well.
“Of course, you’re right! It’s not like I’ll tell you things you can’t figure out on your own” Sharon laughs, thinking of everything she remembers. “Well, Y/N lived across the street from Wanda, which is probably how they started talking. You know, young people understand each other better than us”
“So they were together?”
“Yes, I think Agatha saw them almost a year ago… on a date or something. And then, it was kinda nice to see Y/N around a bit more. Ya know, it was obvious she was spending more time at home, to help with the boys. They adore her. Always running around with her, playing. It was nice to see them all be a family” Sharon’s enthusiasm dies down.
“And then?”
“Humm” she says, sighing. “I honestly don’t know. The last time I saw Y/N she was walking out of the house and she got into her car. She didn’t have any bags or anything, so I just assumed she was going to the hospital… but then she never came back”
“And you have no idea what happened?” Ekaterina pushes forward, curious to check if the woman’s being honest.
“No, I’m sorry”
“Mudak”
“Oh, can I ask what that word means?” Sharon says, smiling. She loves learning new words.
“It means motherfucker” Ekaterina answers, her accent heavy.
“Wow, ok” Sharon giggles nervously. “You know who could have that information? Agatha. Yeah, her girlfriend works at the hospital. She’s kinda scary”
“Agatha or her girlfriend?”
“Both, definitely both”
“How can I speak to them?” Ekaterina says, trying to piece everything together.
She can manage scary. Especially when she’s looking for answers.
—
Billy’s in a mood again. He didn’t want to go to school, and he’s still refusing to go to soccer practice.
“Daniel’s gonna keep annoying me” he mutters.
“I will speak with his father today” Wanda says, driving them both to school. “I’m sure it’s gonna be fine, sweetheart”
“Y/N would kick his ass” Billy says in a low voice, but Wanda still hears.
“Don’t speak like that. And violence is not the answer”
“Yeah, well, Daniel’s a jerk, his dad too and I want to talk to Y/N. She’s the only one that can make everything right again”
“Enough!” Wanda shouts, pulling up to drop them off. “Y/N’s not coming back. You hear me? She’s gone. We don’t need her, we’ve been fine on our own our whole lives”
“You’re lying. I hate you” he says, running out of the car.
Wanda’s speechless.
This is the first time she’s had a fight with her sweet boys. The first time they’ve been mean or said something to hurt her.
She was expecting this as they got old, maybe 13. But now?
“Bye, Mom” Tommy says, walking after his brother. He’s nervous too. He knows he can’t get into any more trouble or he might get suspended, but Daniel’s not the nicest kid.
“Oh, damn it” she looks behind her to notice Billy left his lunch. “Kids!”
“Hey, Wanda” Richard calls for her. “Heard our guys had a little fight. I was hoping we could talk about it. Maybe over dinner?”
She resists the urge to roll her eyes. Is he really flirting right now?
“Yeah, I should actually…”
“No need to apologize, boys will be boys, right?”
“Apologize?” Wanda tilts her head, the way she always does when she’s pissed. “I wasn’t planning on doing that. And neither is Tommy”
“Well, he started the fight”
“No, Daniel was repeating the stupid things you say. Like how it’s wrong for two women to date. And he also insulted Billy” Wanda says, crossing her arms. “The way I see it, it’s the proverbial talk shit, get hit”
“Wow, ok, no need to get emotional”
“No, I’m not emotional. I’m just saying, if you ever say anything bad about Y/N or my kids and I get wind of it, I’m running you over with my car. See ya, Dick”
Fucking asshole.
Wanda can practically hear you say those words. Though you’d be a lot scarier, telling him all the ways in which he could get hurt using medical terms he wouldn’t even begin to understand.
You’d never let anything bad happen to your family.
Wanda decides to play the loudest music on the way back home. Yes, death metal from her emo phase -something you’d tease her for relentlessly before-.
As she pulls over in the driveway, her mother knocks on the window, making Wanda jump.
“Why are you still listening to that devil music? I thought that phase was over!”
“Mom!”
“Are you ok?”
“Fine”
“Yeah, I can tell”
“Ok, I don’t have time for this, I need to drive Pietro to rehab. Do you need anything from the store?”
“Yes, many things! Like actual paprikash. I can’t believe you buy US made. That’s why you can’t get the food right”
“Seriously?”
“Settle down, you two” Pietro asks, coming out of the house. It was a fun time, being a teenager and hearing his sister and mother argue over every single thing. They’re too much alike, that’s the only problem.
“Anyways, I will go to store, Sharon is letting me drive her car”
“Ok, does she know about the time you almost destroyed a McDonald’s with Papa’s car?”
“He said drive through, so I did!”
“Yeah, through the wall” Pietro laughs, earning a slap on the back of the head from his mother.
“You, go to your thing. And I’m picking up Billy from school today. He doesn’t want to go do soccer, so we’re going to get ice cream” Ekaterina says casually.
“It’s not optional for him! I’m the mom here”
“Just for a day. I hardly think it will affect him if he doesn’t run around like dog after a ball. Take Sparky instead” the woman says.
Wanda wants to scream into a pillow.
—
Ekaterina comes back from the store, but instead of parking outside of Wanda’s, she leaves the car right outside of Agatha’s home.
The investigation continues.
After a knock, a woman with dark, long hair and piercing blue eyes opens the door.
“You the OG Mrs. Maximoff” she greets, standing aside to let her in.
“I don’t know what those words mean. I’m Wanda and Pietro’s mother”
“Ooh, I love the accent. I love learning languages. My girlfriend is teaching me Spanish”
Before Ekaterina can answer, there’s a frantic knock, and Sharon walks inside the minute Agatha opens the door.
“I hope I’m not too late”
“I didn’t know we were having a party” Agatha says. She doesn’t really like visitors, and Mrs. Davies' enthusiasm and corny jokes are an acquired taste.
“Alright. What do you want to know?” Agatha leans back in her chair, intrigued by the woman.
Why not just ask her own daughter? Though, considering how Wanda’s been acting, she’ll probably refuse to answer any questions about it.
“Why did Y/N leave? Where did she go?”
“Ok, so… I need a minute because Rio was telling me everything in Spanish so I could learn. You know, using gossip as motivation” Agatha massages her temples, trying to remember everything. “Ok, there was a new doctor, something, something, cheating, slapping, break up”
“What?” Ekaterina says. “Are you saying that woman slapped my daughter?”
“No! Well, I don’t think so. Ah, screw it! Amor!” Agatha shouts, calling for Rio. “Ponte ropa y baja a contarles el chisme”
“Está bien” a voice says. A few minutes later, another woman joins them in the living room, wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
“You called?”
“Ok, so I kinda lied when I said I understood everything you said in Spanish. I do remember the name Natasha. And something about a kiss” Agatha smiles, and Rio can’t really stay mad when her girlfriend is looking all cute.
“So, a few months ago, Natasha Romanoff came to the hospital to teach a method developed by her mother. The Romanoffs are a very wealthy, very famous family of doctors. And everyone in the hospital kinda noticed that Natasha was flirting with Y/N”
“Did Y/N flirt back? Was she cheating on my daughter?”
“I meaaan, 50/50. The hospital was split. Some people believed that she was just being nice and others thought there were feelings involved”
“What do you think?” Ekaterina presses.
“I think Y/N was just being flirty but she never meant for anything else to happen. She’s just naturally personable. Even she can manage to make me laugh from time to time. So, I don’t know. There was a rumor that Natasha kissed her once or was trying to talk her into breaking up with Wanda… which, I guess has some truth to it, considering Y/N moved to Boston to work for the Romanoffs”
“I’m sorry, then who slapped who?” Mrs. Davies asks, confused.
“Oh, Y/N’s mother outside the hospital, but that's not related to Wanda. Darcy told me that woman is awful. Used to put Y/N through hell when she was a kid”
“Yeah, I know the feeling” Agatha mumbles and Rio places her hand on her shoulder, comforting her.
“I don’t like this Y/N” Ekaterina decides. “She was weak and got my family hurt”
“I don’t think that’s exactly accurate…” Agatha says, feeling the need to defend you. She knows you, and you’d never do anything to hurt Wanda. Not on purpose. “Look, I was looking for my bunny that night. Little shit likes to escape out of the blue. Wanda was the one who ended things. I heard that loud and clear. And yes, it seems messy, but I don’t think it’s fair to blame it all on someone”
“Yeah, Y/N really loved the kids and took care of Wanda” Sharon insists. Ekaterina sighs, crossing her arms.
“I don’t suppose anyone knows how to get in touch with Y/N”
Agatha, Rio and Sharon share a look.
“I could try” Rio offers, thinking Darcy might be in touch with you.
“Thank you. Now I go to pick up Billy from school. I appreciate your help”
“I actually need the car for a bit” Sharon asks, but the woman is already gone. “Oh, well”
—
True to her word, Ekaterina picked up Billy from school, while Tommy was supposed to ride with Sharon and her kid to soccer.
Wanda wasn’t really looking forward to practice today, in case Richard was there.
Thankfully, it seemed like Daniel was here with his mother, but Wanda’s stomach dropped when Susan walked up to her.
“Wanda, can we talk for a sec?”
“Yeah, sure”
They walked away from the rest of the parents.
“Look, I know what Daniel said and I already talked to him about it. He’ll apologize to Tommy and Billy, but I wanted to tell you personally how asahmed I am. Those awful things are all Richard and I really don’t want Daniel to be like his father”
“Oh… wow. I don’t know what to say” Wanda laughs, relieved. “Your ex had a very different approach to this whole situation”
“I know, he’s an asshole”
Both women laugh at that.
“I was going to say, he can speak to Tommy after practice, but I haven’t seen him today. Or Billy”
“Oh, Billy’s with my mother. But Sharon picked up Tommy…” though when Wanda looks around the field, she doesn’t see her son. Spotting Sharon, she runs up to her. “Hey, Tommy rode with you, right?”
“What? Wanda, he said he was feeling ill and that you were going to pick him up”
“No, that never… I-I don’t have any missed calls. No one from school told me anything. Shit!” she curses, her hands shaking. Her mother takes forever to pick up the phone. “Is Tommy with you? No, I know Billy’s there. What about Tommy? Ok, I don’t have time to explain, meet me at home now”
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think to call you” Sharon says.
“No, no. It’s fine. I’m sure it’s fine” Wanda repeats, trying to calm herself.
Her first instinct is to call you.
But then she has to think really hard on what to do, so she calls Pietro to make sure Tommy isn’t home by some weird miracle. Should she call the cops? The fire department?
Clint, he will know what to do.
“Ok, I’ll meet you at your house, it’s gonna be fine” Clint says.
“You good to drive?” Susan says, walking Wanda to the car.
“Yes. I’m sure it’s all a misunderstanding and Tommy’s in his room playing videogames”
“Well, ok, if you need anything here’s my number” the woman says.
Wanda goes over everything that could have happened. Tommy likes to visit the library, the park on Fullton street, the comic book store…
Clint’s already there when she gets home, and Ekaterina parks a second later.
“Billy, come here” Wanda kneels to look at her son. “Did Tommy tell you anything? Was he going somewhere?”
Billy shakes his head no, and Wanda insists.
“Sweetheart, are you sure? I promise I won’t be mad”
“I don’t know, I swear”
“Alright, I just spoke to my friend at the station. They’re gonna start looking for him. Pietro should stay here in case Tommy comes back or someone calls home. The rest of us could split and check places we know he frequents” Clint says.
“Billy, stay with uncle Pietro” Wanda asks. The boy nods, walking up the stairs to meet his uncle, who puts his arm around his shoulders.
“I’ll go to the arcade” Clint offers. “Ask if anyone’s seen him”
“We’ll go to the park” Wanda nods, waiting for her mother to join her in the car. She can’t even begin to understand what’s happening.
Wanda doesn’t know what to do, but she has to remain calm, because her son needs her.
—
Tommy’s begining to think this is a bad idea. He doesn’t have a lot of money and he doesn’t have a clue on what bus will take him to Boston.
He should be at soccer practice now.
He finds a cafeteria not far from school, and goes inside hoping he can get some free water.
“You alone, sweetheart?” the waitress says, concerned.
“No, my mom is in the bathroom” he lies and the woman doesn’t seem entirely convinced. Either way, she leaves him alone. Tommy takes the time to dig in his backpack for some extra coins that might be in there.
Instead he finds a letter and a couple of pins.
After reading it, he walks up to the waitress and finally tells the truth.
“I ran away. Can you help me find my mom?”
“Of course, sweetheart”
—-
“Where should we go?” her mother asks, and Wanda points in the direction of the lake.
“He liked to feed the ducks with Y/N”
“Ok, then”
They walk in silence, Wanda’s thoughts racing until her mother speaks.
“I lost you once. You were four or five, maybe, and we were at the market. While your brother picked out the apples, you decided to run after a chicken. And I was so scared, calling for you in the sea of people”
“Yeah. It’s an awful feeling” Wanda says, wiping away the tears.
They walk around the park for ten minutes before deciding he’s not here. Tommy’s nowhere to be found. He’s a ten year old, for God’s sake, where on Earth could he be?
Before she has time to think it twice, Wanda picks up the phone and dials your number.
“Hello?”
That’s not your voice.
It’s Natasha’s.
Wanda hangs up, and adds this to the list of shitty things that have happened to her in the span of two days.
“Mom, I can’t!” she finally breaks down. “I don’t know how to fix this. I miss her so much and I ruined everything and she’s never coming back. And now my boys hate me and I have nothing. All because I was so stuck in the past. And I lost her”
“Breathe. Breathe for me” Ekaterina pulls her daughter into a hug, while Wanda’s body shakes with the strenght of her sobs. “It’s ok. It will be ok”
“It doesn’t feel like it”
“Trust me” she says, waiting until Wanda calms down. After a few minutes, she wipes her tears and looks at her mother. Wanda’s about to say something else when her phone rings again.
“Oh, it’s Clint. Hello? Yes, where? Ok, send me the address and I’ll be right there” she hangs up, sprinting to the car. “He’s at a cafeteria not far from school”
“Thank God”
It’s only a five minute drive but to Wanda it feels like an eternity. As soon as she parks, she spots Tommy sitting at the counter, drinking a milkshake while a waitress talks to him, trying to ease his nerves.
“Is that your mom?” the woman says when Wanda gets inside. Tommy’s eyes widen, and he runs towards her.
“Mama!”
“Oh, Tommy. I was so worried about you”
“I’m sorry”
“It’s ok. I’m just happy you’re safe. Let’s go home”
—
The kids are safely tucked in bed, and Wanda’s having a glass of wine in the kitchen. She’d drink something stronger if she had anything at all.
Her mind goes back to the fact Natasha picked up your phone.
It doesn’t mean you’re with her. And even if you were, Wanda was the one that broke up with you.
Then why did it hurt so much to think you’d already moved on?
With a sigh, she goes up the stairs. Wanda can’t help but go into her children’s room, just to make sure they’re both safe.
When she asked Tommy what happened, he just said he wanted to go and see you. But then he changed his mind when he found something in his backpack. Though he wouldn’t tell Wanda what it was.
As the woman walks up to her children, she notices a letter tucked under Tommy’s pillow.
Could this be the thing he found?
Billy and Tommy,
Hey kiddos. This isn’t something I’m happy about and I never really wanted to write a letter like this one.
You might not see me anymore. I know it sucks, because I promised I’d take you to the state fair and Universal Studios when the school year was over.
The thing is, sometimes grown ups have a lot of complicated things going on. Sometimes things don’t work out no matter how much we try.
Be good to your mom, ok? If you miss me and want me to be less worried about you, just promise me you’ll love her extra for me. You are her biggest treasure and she’s such a great mom. Don’t forget you’re all each other have.
PS - I’m leaving my lucky pins with you. Please take care of them for me.
Love you three,
Y/N
Of course.
Of course it was you.
Even if you were thousand of miles away, you had found a way to help Wanda and keep her family safe.
Now she won’t be able to sleep at all, so she goes downstairs to the garage, full of boxes with your clothes and books.
For the first time since you left, Wanda allows herself to look at everything you left behind, and everything you did. The smallest things, like how you always forget to wear glasses to read, and you end up with a frown. Sunday’s crossword puzzle, always discarded. It’s not that you don’t finish it, the opposite. You know the answers to everything so fast that writing them is a waste of time.
Wanda pulls out your college sweatshirt, hugging it tight against her chest.
She misses you, so much it hurts.
As she puts on the sweatshirt, Wanda folds the sleeves, slightly long for her shorter arms.
When she’s about to close the box, she sees it.
A small box. For a ring.
An engagement ring.
She let’s out a gasp as she opens it.
You were proposing.
And all Wanda did was question your committment and your love for her and the children.
I’m such an idiot.
She doesn’t have much time to wallow, though. Wanda’s phone rings, and her mouth goes dry when she reads the name on the screen.
You.
Looking between her phone and the ring, Wanda doesn’t know what to do.
Should she tell you she found the ring?
Would it make a difference at all?
372 notes
·
View notes
Text
The Wonderful Unexpected: Chapter 1
Masterpost PREV | NEXT
Pairings: Anthony Bridgerton x fem!reader, Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, Modern AU (future chapters)
Chapter Summary: it’s Christmas, but it’s beginning to look a lot like a shitshow…
artwork by me
Warnings: None really... swearing and non-graphic character attack and injury.
Word Count: 1.9k
Author's Note: Welcome to Chapter 1 of my next multi-chapter! A modern rom-com based on While You Were Sleeping. This is really just getting the wheels in motion, where she encounters Anthony. Please see the masterpost for a synopsis. Thank you to @colettebronte for beta reading. Please enjoy! <3
The first time you see him, your heart almost stops.
It is a Monday morning, your first shift in your new job at a coffee shop on a dreary day in late October, when he sweeps in, a blur of athletic movement in a sharply tailored suit.
Your boss, the store manager, Gen, starts to make his drink, double espresso, without him even having to say a word. And seemingly, just like that, he is gone again, you standing there, stupefied, awkwardly clutching the milk-frothing pitcher.
And thus, it begins.
Every weekday between 8:01 and 8:15, Prince Charming glides in, grabs his cup and is gone—a beautiful mirage with amazing cheekbones and a watch that costs more than your annual rent. It's like your world goes into slow motion, and, to steal a phrase from your dearly departed Dad’s favourite song, birds suddenly appear every time he is near.
Anyway, one random, soggy Thursday, the fates intervene, and it's your turn to serve him. As soon as you see him striding purposely towards the shop, you start his drink, butterflies in your stomach. The smile he bestows upon you is dazzling… even if his attention is slightly diverted by the call he is on.
Sparks shoot up your arm and into your chest as your fingers brush his briefly as you hand over the small cup.
Surely, this is meant to be?
He is perfect. Your husband (he just doesn't realise it yet).
All you need is a way to introduce yourself…
—
It's the end of your shift three days before Christmas when Gen sidles up to you, an odd expression on her face.
“I’d like to recommend you for Employee of the Month.”
“Didn't know there was one,” you shrug, having no idea what that could mean. You suspect not a great deal. Barista is no one’s chosen career. This is very much what you hope is a pit stop on your way to better things. A way to pay the rent until you get your big break. Or get to go travelling.
“Oh yes, well, it's been a few weeks now, and really, you’re my best employee. You are never late, always reliable, never get an order wrong, and are friendly to all the customers…” She trails off, looking very sheepish. “And if you are willing to work Christmas Day… ”
“Christmas Day!? Why are we even open on Christmas Day anyway? It’ll be dead, even around here,” you frown, putting down the cloth you were wiping the counter with.
“Owner policy,” she shrugs. “It's only for four hours in the morning - 7 til 11. If you do, it’s quadruple pay...” she lilts, attempting to make it sound appealing.
You squirm uncomfortably, not wanting to let her down but also really not wanting to work on that day. You were looking forward to a duvet and Netflix day with the second most handsome creature in the world (and definitely the most loyal), Chairman Meow.
“Look,” Gen petitions softly. “Prue still has bronchitis. Edie can't switch because she's got some big trip to see her cousins, and l promised my kiddos that I'd be there for them this year… l know it isn't fair, and I can't force you to do it... but you mentioned you are single and your parents are gone. You're the only one…” she trails off, looking awkward.
“...Without family…” you supply glumly, already knowing you will capitulate. At least quadruple pay will come in handy.
—
You are struggling to haul your Aunt Hilda’s Christmas ‘gift’ - a frighteningly enormous box you can tell is choked full of ugly breakables - up the stairs after a long shift when he materialises as he always seems to, just when it is most inconvenient.
Not your prince. No. Sadly not.
Albion “Alby” Finch.
Yep, quite the name. Not one anyone could live up to. But perhaps particularly not him. The well-meaning owner of the building who lives in the ground floor flat. Still adjusting to his status as a landlord since his father passed last year, he is boundlessly friendly in that untrained puppy way. Always wanting to help but always somehow ending up more of a hindrance than anything.
“Oh y/n, that looks tricky; allow me!”
He pushes his glasses up his nose with a pointer finger, then immediately lunges forward and grabs the other side of the heavy box without asking first.
“No, wait….!”
But it's too late.
You had the box precariously balanced, holding it strategically over the poorly taped seams. But his sudden interference has disturbed the contents. You watch as he realises he was wholly unprepared for its weight; his face fleetingly takes on a look of respect that you were handling such a burden.
Time slows like molasses as it slips from his grip, a horrible crunching sound as it hits the step, losing much of its structural integrity in the impact. Then, a calamitous symphony as it tumbles almost poetically down the whole flight, picking up speed as it goes. Yet again, the world is in slo-mo, but not in a good way this time, watching its barrelling path with increasing dread. Both of you wince as the inevitable happens: the spindly legs of the Alby’s heirloom table in the hallway snapping under the duress of poorly packaged terminal velocity porcelain.
“I'm so, so sorry!” he starts, flustering like a bird. “It’s all my fault; I’ll pay for it,” he assures.
“Alby…” you sigh, head slumping back in resignation, staring at the ceiling. You can't be too mad; he has sort of done you a favour, saving you the inevitable trip to the charity shop.
“What can I do to make amends?” He presses on. “May I take you to dinner?”
You are almost shocked that he has finally summoned the courage to ask you out after two years. When you tilt your chin back down, you see the panic rising on his face as he belatedly realises what he did.
“You are my landlord. Probably not a good idea,” you return diplomatically, trying to let him down easily. He is a nice man, and his admiration for cheese is to be respected, but you know you could never see him as anything but a sweet, slightly clueless friend.
“Right-e-o,” he nods, cheeks reddened. “Of course. So rude. Please forgive me.”
You wave a dismissive hand, staring down at the pile of destruction below, dreading the thought of cleaning up.
“I’ll deal with all that up,” Alby gestures, tracking your line of sight.
And for once, rather than help as you inevitably always do, you agree, your feet throbbing after a long day where it seemed every teenager in zone 1 needed a matcha oat latte.
So, as you tumble into your flat, you sigh in relief, flinging off your shoes and pouring a glass of water for yourself and a saucer of cat milk. You may not have your Prince Charming (yet…?), but you have Chairman Meow, who always makes a genuinely excellent fluffy pillow for your favourite brainless binge-watch.
—
It’s as if there is lead in your socks as you shuffle down the pavement and roll up the shutters.
Christmas Day. 6:54am.
Still an hour until sunrise, it's misty and rainy, but then that's typical London, really.
What isn't typical London is the deserted streets. Hardly a soul to be seen, only the very occasional car. Most people are tucked up in bed or, if they are parents, blearily watching their kids tear wrapping paper asunder in pursuit of loud plastic.
When an hour has already passed without a single customer, you are entering a new level of boredom. Inventing new lyrics for the Christmas music playing, balancing stirring sticks into a pagoda-like structure of impressive resilience (it can hold a cup!), cursing the owner who even thought it was a good idea to be open today. It's all a recipe for a sort of irksome ennui.
So when you hear a commotion outside, you almost fall off the stool you have been idly twirling on. Springing from your perch, you run to the glass window, keen for any distraction.
But the sight that greets you has your heart in your throat.
There, in the street, surrounded by a gang of kids in oversized hoodies, is your man. Prince Charming. They are tussling with him, and you realise they are likely trying to mug him of his expensive watch.
You observe helplessly, too scared to confront them, worried that doing so might exacerbate the situation. As you fumble in your apron pocket for your phone, the kids disperse, and to your horror, you see your man lying in the road, worryingly still.
Before you are even conscious of it, instead of dialling 999, you are flinging open the shop door and sprinting towards him.
“Sir! Sir!”
Skidding to a halt and hovering over him, you can see an ugly bruise forming on his left temple already. They must have knocked him out.
“Sir! Please wake up!!”
But there is no response.
You fall to your knees next to him, tapping his cheek lightly with the back of your hand, a sense of dread filling you with every passing millisecond.
Cmon universe! You can't do this! Why can't you take out the ugly ones?! Kidding... Sort of.
As your completely inappropriate internal monologue rages, you grab his shoulders and shake him gently, needing him to get up. Get out of the road, at least.
“Sir! Please! You are lying in the road! Please get up!”
You know it's Christmas Day, so traffic is thankfully light. However, if a bus comes around this blind corner, it will hit you both before it sees you.
Again, nothing from him.
You bend down to place your ear next to his nose and mouth, heart pounding, to see if you can hear breathing, at least.
“Fuck, you smell so good!”
It's out of your mouth before you can censor it, not that anyone is within earshot, this unconscious beauty aside. Your nostrils are filled with expensive, no doubt custom-blended aftershave, which literally makes your mouth water. You have to tamp the sudden urge to bury your face into his neck and inhale deeply.
But then you hear the hiss of air brakes and know a large vehicle is approaching—it could be a bus, could be a lorry. Either way, you are not exactly going to stay here to find out.
Without knowing quite what possesses you, you limpet yourself around his prone body and literally log-roll him out of the road. A blur of frantic tumbling movement that only ceases when your knees encounter the rough stipples of the pedestrian crossing section of the pavement. Shocking even yourself with the strength you are able to muster.
It's incredible what reserves of power you can summon when Prince Charming’s life is on the line, apparently.
As you lay straddled awkwardly on top of him, a street-sweeping lorry barrels around the corner, right over where he was lying. Sweeping up what you suspect was his mobile phone in the process before you could even grab it for him.
Heart racing at the closeness of the call, you collapse on top of him, breathing hard. Trying desperately to ignore the stirring of your traitorous libido at the sensation of muscular thighs clenched between your own.
His eyes flutter open, and you murmur a breathless “hi,” almost losing yourself in their depthless, warm beauty. That is before they roll backwards, and his head slumps to the left.
Just great.
As Michael Buble might sing at this particular moment… ♫ It's beginning to look a lot like a shitshow. ♫
masterlist • wips • taglist (must follow this blog to be tagged)
Taglist pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @colettebronte @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @queenofmean14 @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @elizah99 @fictionalmenloversblog @debheart @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @amanda08319 @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @kmc1989 @ferns-fics @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23
#benedict bridgerton fanfiction#anthony bridgerton fanfiction#benedict bridgerton#anthony bridgerton#benedict bridgerton fluff#anthony bridgerton fluff#benedict bridgerton imagine#anthony bridgerton imagine#bridgerton fanfiction#bridgerton#bridgerton fluff#bridgerton imagine#benedict bridgerton x reader#anthony bridgerton x reader#benedict bridgerton x female reader#anthony bridgerton x female reader#benedict bridgerton x you#anthony bridgerton x you#benedict bridgerton x y/n#anthony bridgerton x y/n#bridgerton x reader#bridgerton x female reader#bridgerton x you#bridgerton x y/n
73 notes
·
View notes
Text
GOAL, GOAL, GOAL
Glimpse Into the Future - Jamie Tartt x fem!PA reader
Masterlist
TW: cursing, suggestive talk
Y/N sat on the couch, curled up with a pillow resting against her stomach, idly rubbing small circles over the fabric of her hoodie. She was a few months along now, just far enough that the little bump was noticeable if you were really looking for it. It had been their little secret for a while—a sacred, quiet thing between her and Jamie. But now, it was getting harder to keep it quiet. She was feeling better after the rough first trimester, and the world would find out soon enough anyway.
Jamie, sprawled out beside her, twirled a strand of her hair between his fingers, looking at her with that stupid, lopsided grin she loved so much. "We should probably tell people soon, yeah?" he murmured.
Y/N exhaled, tilting her head to look at him. "Yeah. Keeley already knows, obviously. And Rebecca."
Jamie snorted. "Yeah, figured. They’re not exactly subtle."
Y/N smiled, shaking her head. "Nope."
They had told Keeley almost immediately, mostly because Y/N had needed someone to help her navigate the overwhelming realization that she was carrying Jamie’s baby. Rebecca found out shortly after when Y/N had run straight to her office after throwing up in the middle of a meeting with Jamie's sponsors. Rebecca had just stared at her for a moment before nodding knowingly and then immediately offering to have her doctor on call for anything Y/N might need.
Jamie ran a hand over his face, then turned his attention back to her. "So, how do you wanna do it? Like, a cute Instagram post? A party? Oh—" His eyes lit up, sitting up slightly. "What if we do one of those cool-ass videos? Like the ones where people kick a football and it bursts into pink or blue powder—"
Y/N groaned, burying her face in her hands. "Jamie."
"What?"
"We are not doing a gender reveal."
Jamie huffed. "Alright, fine. No powder footballs. But we should still make it fun, yeah?"
Y/N bit her lip, watching him. She could see the wheels turning in his head, the anticipation already building. "Do you already have an idea?"
Jamie smirked. "Maybe."
Y/N narrowed her eyes. "Jamie."
Jamie sat up fully now, bouncing slightly where he sat. "It's gonna be a biiiiig surprise. Do you trust me?"
Y/N opened her mouth, then shut it again. She had no idea why she was surprised. Of course, Jamie Tartt—the most theatrical, over-the-top man she had ever met—would want to announce their baby in the biggest way possible. So big that he couldn't even tell the mother of his child.
She groaned, but she couldn’t fight the small smile tugging at her lips. "Alright, I trust you. I just hope you didn't secretly film a sex tape of us conceiving the baby just to show it to everyone."
"Fuck no baby. If I had that tape, it would be just for me." He smirked.
The stadium was electric, the crowd roaring with excitement as AFC Richmond played against their fiercest rivals. It was a tight match, tension building with every pass, every tackle. The team had been pushing hard, and Jamie could feel it—a goal was coming.
Jamie Tartt was at his best today—agile, fierce, and determined to score. His sharp eyes darted over the field, his heart pounding in time with his feet as he set himself up for a perfect shot.
His whole body buzzed with adrenaline. His muscles were screaming, his lungs burning, but none of that mattered. He had to score.
And then—his moment came.
With a swift movement, Jamie struck the ball, sending it flying past the goalkeeper and into the back of the net. The stadium erupted into an explosion of noise—cheers, chants, and applause filled the air. But Jamie wasn’t done yet. He knew this moment was bigger than just the goal. It was his chance to make the biggest announcement of his life. Just like he planned...
Jamie barely even registered his teammates running toward him. He instead took the ball with him and ran toward the sideline, the roar of the crowd still ringing in his ears as he approached the TV cameras broadcasting the match. Jamie stopped, grinning like the cocky player he was, and with a mischievous wink, he slipped the ball under his shirt—just like a pregnant belly. Jamie wiggled his eyebrows, held the ball belly with one hand, and put his thumb in his mouth— like a baby.
Then he raised his arms, looking directly into the nearest camera, smiling proudly.
“Hey, world!” he shouted, his voice carrying through the stadium and into every broadcasted home. “I’m gonna be a dad!”
The commentators froze, their voices cutting off in surprise. The camera zoomed in on Jamie, now standing with the ball under his shirt, making it clear that this wasn’t just about his goal. This was about something much bigger.
“I’m gonna be a dad!” he repeated, his voice full of pride and excitement while pointing at the stands and mouthing 'I love you, baby.'—directly at Y/N. He smiled widely, winking at her before making a hand motion to form a heart with his hands.
The crowd went wild. The reporters, stunned at first, quickly began to speak over each other, trying to process what was happening.
Arlo: "Is Jamie Tartt really… announcing he’s going to be a father mid-game? This is huge! What a moment in football history! What do you think, Chris?"
Chris: "I’ve never seen anything like this before! It’s absolutely brilliant, and I have to say—what a goal and what an announcement. He’s got the world watching, and it’s like he’s bringing the world in on his personal joy."
Arlo: "Jamie Tartt, the man who’s been all about his career, is now sharing this personal milestone with us, and it’s making me tear up, honestly! The man’s a new dad-to-be, and I couldn’t be happier for him. The emotion, the commitment… it’s a whole new side to Jamie."
Meanwhile, Y/N was watching from the stands, her heart fluttering. She had no idea he was going to do this. The joy on her face was palpable—her eyes shining as she put her hand to her heart, still in disbelief at the love and excitement Jamie was sharing with the world.
As Jamie stood there, his hands on his hips in his usual cocky manner, the teammates ran towards him.
Dani Rojas was the first to reach him, practically jumping into his arms and nearly knocking him over.
"Congratulations, amigo!" Dani shouted, holding Jamie’s face and planting a big kiss on his cheek.
Isaac was next, shaking Jamie roughly by the shoulders. "Mate! You’re gonna have a kid! What the fuck?"
Then, one by one, the team members and even the coaches gathered around, pulling Jamie into a massive group hug.
Even Roy fucking Kent, the ever-grumpy captain-turned-coach, was grinning. He clapped a heavy hand on Jamie’s shoulder. "You better not fuck this up, Tartt."
"Not a chance, mate." Jamie, still catching his breath, just laughed.
“Oi, Roy, my kid still needs a grumpy old godfather, you in?” he said, trying to keep it cool.
"Fuck yes," Roy said all too quickly.
The crowd was still going wild, Y/N still looking completely overwhelmed in the stands. Keeley was with her, her hands on her hips, looking at Y/N with a proud smile. “I’m so proud of you, babes. And you know what? I’m gonna be the best godmother this kid’s ever had. I’ll start shopping for baby clothes ASAP.”
The whole stadium was still buzzing, with fans changing Jamie’s famous chant, the energy in the air almost tangible.
"BABY TARTT DU DU DUDU DUDU. BABY TARTT!!!!"
And it wasn’t just about the goal or the match anymore—it was about the future, about a family being built, about Jamie Tartt stepping into a new chapter of his life. And Jamie—well, Jamie had never felt happier in his entire fucking life.
The cheers and chants continued to echo through the stadium as Jamie, now standing with the rest of his team, couldn’t help but grin. He turned to look at Y/N in the stands, still waving at him, and gave her a small nod. He was ready for this. He was ready for fatherhood, ready for everything this new chapter would bring.
And as the game continued, with the team riding high on the momentum of his announcement, Jamie Tartt knew that nothing—absolutely nothing—could top this feeling. He had it all now. The family. The love. The future.
And when the final whistle blew, the first thing he did wasn’t celebrate the win—it was run straight to Y/N, take her in his arms, and kiss her with the passion of someone who was about to start the biggest adventure of their life.
The day was unforgettable. Jamie’s surprise announcement had everyone talking, but to him, it was only the beginning.
As the world watched, Jamie Tartt had just scored his biggest goal yet—and it wasn’t on the pitch.
Later that night, as they lay tangled together in bed, Jamie pressed a kiss to Y/N’s temple.
"You mad at me?" he murmured.
Y/N huffed a small laugh. "You’re a ridiculous man, Jamie Tartt."
"But?"
She turned slightly, looking up at him, her expression soft. "But I love you for it."
Jamie grinned. "Good. ‘Cause I love you, too. And I can’t fucking wait to meet this kid."
Y/N’s heart swelled. She rested her head against his chest, closing her eyes as he absentmindedly traced circles over her belly.
Jamie Tartt was going to be a dad.
And, honestly?
She couldn’t imagine anyone better for the job.
#jamie tartt#jamie tartt x reader#ted lasso#ted lasso show#afc richmond#jamie tartt x y/n#jamie tartt x you#roy kent#jamie tartt imagine#PA x Jamie Tartt
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hot Water
written for @bucktommyfluffebruary prompt: spiderman kiss
read on ao3
Things were going well. They were friends, they were getting along. Platonically. Which is why when Buck's hot water was out, Tommy offered up his house for him to stay in until it was fixed. Usually he’d just have showered at work, but he’d just come off a hell of a shift and it was the start of his four-off, so he really didn’t want to have to drag himself to the station on his days off just to shower. So, he'd called Tommy, driven to Tommy’s house, used the spare key to let himself in, and then gone to bed in Tommy’s guest room. Four days later, the hot water still wasn't fixed, but Tommy lived a little closer to the 118 than Buck did anyway, so he'd offered to let him stay until it was. Except two days after that, there was a huge leak, and soon it had been two weeks since Buck had slept in his own bed. But it was fine, because he and Tommy were good. Good friends.
All of that meant that when Buck was sat on the couch, and tilted his head over the back of the it to say goodbye to Tommy before he left for his shift, and Tommy leaned down to press a chaste kiss to his lips, it wasn’t weird. It didn’t even register until Tommy had reached his car that he’d just kissed him.
On the mouth.
Platonically?
Okay, so, it didn't have to be weird, it could be fine. Sometimes friends kiss, it doesn't have to mean anything romantic.
Yeah. It was all good.
What the fuck.
Tommy had just kissed him.
Buck had leaned his head back to wish him a good shift, and he'd just… laid one on him.
A kiss.
On his mouth.
The angle had been kind of awkward because he'd sort of been upside down, but it was unmistakably a kiss. And then Tommy had just walked right out!
Meanwhile, Buck wasn't leaving for his shift for another twelve hours, and those twelve hours lasted... so many hours.
He’d tossed and turned in Tommy’s guest bed, trying to get it out of his head for god knows how long, and when he finally did manage to sleep, his dreams were- well, they were embarrassingly Tommy-themed.
He felt like he was losing his mind – he was distracted all throughout his shift, and everyone could tell. He hated being off his game but what was he supposed to do? They were broken up! Why would Tommy do that? He was the one who broke it off in the first place! They were finally getting back to normal- or just to normal, since their original normal was them dating, and now all the feelings that Buck had had to put to bed were resurfacing. Like a whale or something.
So, Tommy had been freaking out all day.
Maybe he could pretend he never realised what had happened?
It was a weak plan, but anything was better than Buck being mad at him for- for violating his boundaries. Maybe he could make a nice meal for him, since it was really the least he could do considering how often Buck cooked for the two of them. And really, it was no wonder some wires got crossed; they’d been living together, eating together, watching TV together, it was all pretty domestic, and as much as Tommy had talked a big game, he wasn’t over Buck at all.
Maybe this whole thing was a mistake.
He settled on spaghetti, because he was not the chef in this relationship- friendship, and avoided the urge to run when he heard Buck at the door.
Alright, Kinard, play it cool.
“Hey ba- buddy,” shit, what was that? “How was your shift?”
Buck stared.
He needed to play it cooler.
“It was fine…” Buck said slowly.
“Cool! Uh, good, yeah. I’m just making some dinner,” Tommy said unnecessarily.
“I can see that,” Buck nodded. “You wanna clue me in on what the hell that was yesterday?”
Tommy rubbed the back of his neck and took a breath.
“I’m so sorry, Buck, I’m- there are no excuses, it was- I don’t know, I must have got some wires crossed somewhere, but you deserve better than my mess, just because I can’t keep my feelings in check. Your friendship is so important to me, I don’t want to lose that, or you. I hope you can forgive me, but I understand if you want to stay somewhere else now.”
Somewhere in there he’d stopped being able to look at Buck. Now he just stared at his hands, trying not to wring them together, but when Buck didn’t reply he had to look up.
“What do you mean, ‘keep your feelings in check’?” Buck frowned. “You have feelings for me? You still-?”
Tommy didn’t want to answer, but he figured there was no use lying.
“Of course I do, I think I always will,” he told him. “There’s no getting over you, Buck, I’m just happy to have you in my lmmf-”
This kiss was nothing like the last one.
It was hard, almost painful, Buck was clinging to him like his life depended on it, and both of them were the right way up this time.
Tommy gripped him back, but as quickly as it had started, Buck was pulling back again.
“Evan,” Buck breathed.
“Uh… I think that’s my line?”
Buck pursed his lips. “You’re damn right it is,” he said, but it was still gentle somehow. “I’m Evan to you; you can’t call me Buck anymore. Please don’t call me Buck anymore.”
His eyes were pleading, but how could Tommy refuse?
“Evan?”
“I want to be with you, Tommy,” Evan said softly. “And if you don’t want me, if you don’t want me back, then I’ll accept that, but I think you do. And I think we could make it work if you let it.”
It was like his chest had been cracked open.
He wanted it more than anything, and he was a weak man at heart.
“I’m scared,” Tommy told him, and couldn’t help his expression from crumpling, but Evan’s arms were around him in an instant.
“That’s okay, baby,” said Evan, sweeping a hand slowly up and down his back. “You think we could try anyway?”
Tommy didn’t think he’d ever understand how Evan got to be so brave, so confident and self-assured. He loved that about him, even if he wasn’t ready to say it any time soon. But he realised that he did want to say it.
Maybe they could try together.
“Yeah,” he breathed. “I think we could try.”
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi look at this cute Sun in a pretty outfit
In other news, i had a really really bad week with so many bad things happening at the same time. Cat got diagnosed with kidney problems, i got very bad migraines, we flooded our flat and all flats below and probably have to pay for all damages and one of my favourite coworker got diagnosed with cancer.
So it has been a week. I might take some more time off but i just wanted to sound off and tell you that im okay and ill come back when i can. Atleast i can actually draw again.
#my art#sun fnaf#sundrop#dca#daycare attendant#dcamv#tw cancer#cw cancer#well i like this sun actually#anyways i hope things get better soon but i have much to do#i have to sew curtains bc we have wierdly formed windows and its easyer just doing it myself#thank you for all the well wishes by the way it means a lot to me#i really love you guys#and im still deffinetly going to come back soonish#when i can#because i miss you#but its a lot of stress even if i have fun because of my social anxiety
295 notes
·
View notes
Text
[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
154 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ramble time about Makoto and a little mini headcanon I came up with cus why not B]
Sometimes, I like to believe that Makoto gets really deep into stuff. Basically him in his own little world, hyper-focused to the max such as him cleaning, research, planning. Stuff like that. In the peak level of him in this state, he'd go, burst into a room, rummage around for anything he might need, and leave all while anyone who was in the now ransacked room is just 100% ignored. Bursting into rooms with the determination of the Kool-Aid Man (def not the strength tho) Makoto doesn't even remember that there were people in the room either. He could have been in a room with 58 other people for instance and if you quizzed him on how many people were in that room he'd just blank out like "People? What people?" This applies to whoever he lives with as an adult as well as way back with his parent's and sister. I can see his parent's never getting why he'd zone out like this. Like, they've tried to get it cus they of course wanna understand this weird part about their oldest child. They never really succeeded with it though and just accepted it as one of his weird quirks. Meanwhile, Komaru teased the shit about it to him cus of course she would. After all, it's the little sister privilege to completely dunk on the older sibling. 'Tis the law. Plus, it's not like it's the biggest piece of ammo she has on her older brother. This is Makoto we're talking about after all. Also, cus why not, (might as well be a BIT self-serving hehehe) I'm slipping in my mini headcanon of Makoto, Kyoko, and Byakuya living together casually in the same apartment/small house. Plus, it's funny imagining these two experiencing Makoto's little moments like this. Feel Kyoko would be more used to Makoto basically forgetting her existence when he gets into these hyper-focusing grind moments. Even when she first learned about it, I doubt it'd affect her much. Like, what is she gonna do? Have a little grudge for a solid week and a half with her roommate and lowkey boyfriend? And, besides, what idiot would have a grudge going on for that lon- oh right... Byakuya exists. Yeah, unsurprisingly, the heir is the type to be petty as shit about something like this. Has 100% without fail been disappointed to some extent and bummed out whenever he gets ignored like this. Or ignored in general. At the end of the day, he's a bit of an attention whore (the bit taking it lightly) It's his tsundere way to act like a needy, bastard cat. He'd basically take it personally while Kyoko's shaking her head cus he's taking it personally and Byakuya's all like "Tch. Stop making the assumption I'm taking it personally" and they go back and forth about it during the week all while Byakuya side eyes Makoto who's very much not aware he's even done anything wrong. His little stunt only happened once that week and he doesn't even remember Byakuya being in the room with him while he was rushing about their living quarters looking for junk like some toothpaste and a hanger. And this goes on until the week ends until Byakuya's basically over it, Kyoko gives him the whole "I told you so" look which for her is just her regular expression but with one of her brows slightly raised which she may or may not be actively trying to raise it higher but can't cus that's as far as it goes. Also this is a common occurrence for them all at least once a month. Oh, and the week is the minimum amount of time for Byakuya to hold a petty grudge for and they've lasted way longer ^v^
#danganronpa#danganronpa makoto#makoto naegi#danganronpa komaru#komaru naegi#danganronpa kyoko#kyoko kirigiri#danganronpa byakuya#byakuya togami#naegamigiri#naegirigami#tonaegiri#text sector#these 3 will never not be funny to me#the blorbos B] the goobers of varying quality which honestly sounds like one of them is about to spoil anytime soon#(spoiler alert. it's makoto.) pun unintended but happily made :)#he may or may not be the one spoiling because of the naeggy pun either which gosh. that's like a double pun. triple pun?#gotta love byakuya being ridiculous about dumb shit too b/c he's terrible with human interaction that doesn't involve business transactions#he gets better with age but he fumbles from time to time with kyoko at least having the courtesy to only “mildly” judge#meanwhile makoto's both of their cheerleaders while also fumbling his own general wellbeing from time to time cus of course he does#they'd be his cheerleaders too btw but kyoko and byakuya aren't exactly the most energetic types to be jumping around with pompoms like tha#their version of cheering him on is just a thumbs up and makoto's used to it anyway. probably finds it cute and flattering anyway#anyway tho they're all working themselves to the bone while going “no you” like a circle of spidermen#imagining they all are aware of it too but they sweep it under the rug for almost a year b/c they have so much other shit to do#since i'm too hopeful for them though i at least like to believe they get better and improve and actually get time to rest at some point#not saying their trauma bonding eyebags ever go away tho. those things are probably permanent with byakuya with the make up to hide it#gotta love them all rotting together too though <3 what a way to bond with the homies! hell yeah!#goodness i wrote about another paragraph from all these tags
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay just coming back here to sadpost because i’m needing to rant about feelings
#i feel like i’m annoying literally everyone i talk to about my feelings#including my own therapist#but i genuinely have a feeling im going to die from my surgery#i know it’s likely just a trauma response because the first experience i had with surgery was when i was like 4 and my great grandpa died#he died on the table too so like. what if that happens to me#i also feel like my best friend is sick of hearing about my anxiety and sick of dealing with it all which fucking hurts#they’ve been incredibly distant and when i talked about it this morning they started responding with a word or two only#like i get it. these feelings are a lot. i know that all too well#i might just be projecting but it’s hard to not notice the difference in responses#yesterday and today they haven’t responded as often or as quick as they usually do#and these past few days i’ve been an absolute mess#i wish they’d just. express how they’re feeling about this all#if they’re overwhelmed i wanna know!!!! i can vent to someone else about it!!!!!#i think i may just. stop#which i know is Not Healthy#but im doing the best i can right now and sometimes it’s not a healthy coping mechanism#anyway i just. hope things get better soon. i hope i feel better and less alone and isolated#with my other best friend being out of the country it’s just. too much#this is when i need support the most and with my best friend seeming annoyed and all of my other friends pulling back i just feel so alone#anyway im crying on the toilet and that’s embarrassing#im sorry if you read all this#(phoebe if you’re reading this you’re not making me feel unsupported)#(if anything you’re my biggest support)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey guys just graduated
#finally glad to be done with exams and do fuck all#tbh i think the only thing ill miss is seeing my friends on a daily basis and always having someone to talk to... lets see if i can maintai#these friendships.... also i have No Idea what im gonna do in uni bro i just want the freedom tbfh like i just keep avoiding researching ab#courses and shit cuz it makes my head explode. basically the 2 major unis in my city r basically the same in my head like uni a) is more#prestigious thus conservative but is more accessible and i like their offering better but uni b) atmosphere is much more relaxed#and the campus is really well planned out < guy who loves urban planning#only issue its like 2hrs via pt like ill die. also this is btw if i get into these schools#bruhh uni is lowkey a scam only like 24 weeks of school and debt. anyway#i wanna get my p plate this summer (i have not driven once) also most of my friends r going overseas (i wish that were meeeeee)#i can finally catch up on new music loonaurrrr also its my bday soon. hope u guys enjoyed this life update
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them
#double meaning on that but. yeah.#it's like. i haven't touched the imaging software i use for an entire year. soldering iron in decades. pick it right back up. to my surpris#muscle memory is crazy#i don't draw for months and pick up right where i was with a few sketches bc the work you put in stays even when you don't actively practic#when it's something you've practiced weekly and daily it sticks with you and ig that's good#but then it's like. the horrors. that haunt you. yk? what if a part of me will always save a soft spot for my ex. what then.#what if I'm fine now and I'm doing okay and i don't miss it and I think i'm okay moving forward and i see her and suddenly I'm on the floor#what if some part of me that was in love never really went away what if i haven't managed to kill all of it yet#bc i genuinely would not know what to do. i. i don't want to admit it but one of my worst fears is liking someone who doesn't like you back#and what's even more horrifying is if it's obvious. if everyone can tell. and usually I'm good at hiding it! (not really) but it's just. id#it's shame in liking someone who you tell yourself you don't want to like and you know you shouldn't. and not having control over it.#hoping praying that either she does something that turns the little switch in my head that sends her into the unforgivable category#or that i become straight. or that i become straight. mhm. yep. or ig the other option is i get a crush on someone new but like. mm.#i kinda have gotten w every person I've had a crush on since hs and i kinda don't think im ready for another rs so soon.#the baggage i just got is. hm. idk i kinda don't wanna unpack it. it's something that can easily be done if i had the missing pieces but.#i don't think I'm ever gonna get them. so. instead I'm gonna take. maybe another 3 months or 5 months or a year or a few. to just. slowly.#idek. it's just triggering old things. bringing me back to when i was 14. i never really got closure from that either. it took me 3 years.#I'm sure this time it'll go away faster but idk experiencing it a second time has a different feel to it. idk. it's weird.#it's like. idk. it's like you're watching it happen and you're not even there anymore. idk. i really don't know.#oh. I've been dissociating.#idk maybe it's for the best i really don't know i really don't know and everyone says i have to do what's best for myself but idk what is#my life is on track things are moving forward I'm doing better and healing but i can't escape the feeling of dread#something is going to catch up with me sooner or later and idk what it is idk at what intensity and idk if i will be ready for it#but anyway. when you love someone intentionally every day for a while. when does it go away? will it go away?#or will i have to live haunted by ppl who are alive but changed. so practically dead w/o the opportunity to mourn. for the rest of my life?#like i don't think i get it. loving this person was like. cooking and eating. intentional. ingrained into everyday life. effortful.#what if my mind does forget but my body still remembers. what then. what if it's like searching for sth you don't remember having anymore#ig I'm just trying to figure out how much to forget these days. how much won't hurt if it all comes back to haunt me#delete later
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cool.. Our rent price got raised. :') I did not know it was even possible to get even MORE poor than me and mom already were, but here we are. Guess I'll start surviving on literal bread and water at this rate.
#/vent#personal#no but when will things stop getting worse?#in moments like this I feel especially bitter thinking about that asshole that went to me like:#'wahh wahh katy i won enough money in the court to buy everything I want but it doesn't matter because I can't buy YOU uwu'#*ten days later* 'actually I don't want a friend/sister anymore can you please stay in your bum spot and simply be my-#-online friend and listen to me ramble about my interests without any regards to yours and show off how cool my life is to you like always?#like no I am not materialistic but when people make dramatic promises of this kind they better stick to them#'nooo but you MUST get out of russia!!!' bitch how? I can hardly afford enough food let alone travelling and living abroad#anyways yeah I am done using the guy that pretended to want a better life for us both and then turned tail as a core for venting#sorry it just makes me angry#not so much living in powerty and not being able to crawl out of debt and my life state no matter what#but more about a very consistent trend of having friends that one day get RICH and dump me as 'lower class' right after that happens#he is not the only one like that in my life he is just the most recent one#really speaks about how unlikeable I am if people lose interest in me as soon as they can buy happy things instead#shows that my worth as a human being is super low and I only work as entertainment when people can't buy something to do that instead#like videogames food travels objects books etc etc...#I am just below those things and less interesting than those things and I'll die early hahaha lol#hopes are that supernatural luck power that doesn't want me to escape easily will send me something to help. because yeah my situation-#-is B A D.
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
we haven't spoken in a very long time, but i dreamt of you last night, so I couldn't help but think of you. I'm not sure you remember me, but i hope life is treating you well these days. take care.
I'm not sure what to say, but I can promise you I have not forgotten you. My time on Tumblr has been a mess full of hiatuses, I admit, but it will always be a place where I met some very wonderful friends, including you. With 100% honesty, I can say the friends I made here are some of the best friends I have ever had, even though most of us don't talk anymore.
It doesn't matter how often I speak with people, or if we never speak again. I'll always remember you, and I'll always think fondly of you and hope that life is treating you gently and kindly.
I hope you had a nice (or at the very least an okay) dream, and I'm glad to know you still remember me, too, regardless of all else.
Take care, love <3
#it will always amaze me#how the little details in a message can speak such volumes#you dont think of it at the time but the way someone speaks and their writing style really is so unique#im sorry if the message got a little bit general in the middle but i really do mean it#i remember every friend i ever made here. i still check up on a lot of them when i can#its not about talking so much as it is knowing you are all alive and well#and it makes me really sad whenever i stumble across a deactivated account#i miss you though and i hope you are in a better place now#i hope i wasnt annoying in your dream#and i appreciate the bravery it took for you to reach out and check up on me#also i just want to throw out there that i dont find the dream thing weird or anything#some people get creeped out by that but ive actually had three or four people mention i was in their dreams#so its just something im vaguely used to that does not bother me or anything#a guy told me he dreamed we were in a haunted house and i just kept telling him 'its fine dont worry'#and honestly thats pretty accurate. cant complain#anyway~ i hope you are well#i hope you are happy and if you are not happy today i hope you will be happy soon#and however that dream may have gone i hope you have better dreams going forward#beautiful anon#neo answers#ask neo
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#periodical life updates#lets hope this one goes better than the last one </3#anyway hi everyone. im in an entirely different timezone during this trip so its actually mid afternoon right now#thats not what this is about though this is about how im EXCITED FOR ARTFIGHT AS USUAL!!! lemmy posted his s/is and theyre so cute <3#also the theme reveal is coming on the 23! i hope its enough time for the theme templates? i love doing the theme templates with everyone :#this'll be my seventh year participating holy sht!! ive been doing this for seven (7) years!!!!!!!!#ive been feeling like ive been improving in art every artfight but idk how i'll fare this year. i feel like ive been a bit stagnant#and i did some PRETTY KILLER PIECES LAST YEAR;;; who knows if i'll top it; especially with summer college classes UGH#miserable about that btw. college my beloathed forever and ever amen. :/ ive been meaning to fix a few characters profiles and add some too#FINALLY going to separate kelly and jace! kelly is now the bureau of balance halfling only <3 ive been redrawing a new design of her :>#she has cute pointed ears now heho!! and actual more fantasy-esque clothes to fit her universe <3 jace is getting a separate profile!#jace is now solely my sona and i look SO much more gender now with the haircut and i can post my refs <33#i also want to post agent and icarus and all the javelins but that means i have to draw them actually hfjkh <33#i should also actually add something to shen's profile hfkjfh i care more about xer worldbuilding than xer character i feel </3#IVE BEEN MEANING TO GET QUEUE BACK UP but everytime i look at my drafts i feel so tired </3 theres ART i want to reblog!!!#ough. some other time. okay! im gonna get my artfight discord channel back up and running for the new artfight season! let's go let's go!#oh and i'll be sure to announce which team im joining obviously hdjfdh it'll probably be the lighthearted one <3#some of the themes this year are a little off? (stars vs nebula? heart vs soul? arent those the same thing?) but im hoping for the best <3#okay frfr going now! hope for queue soon maybe if i have time/energy! working on artfight! lets goooooo!! <3
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
playing hyrule warriors: age of calamity on yuzu on my laptop at 6 FPS. a perfectly normal way to play that was intended by the creators i'm sure
#i've been wanting to try it ever since it came out but i never got around to buying it... not sure if i even want to tbh#a wee bit expensive#what really draws me into this game are the playable champions + the potential new bits of lore related to them. i hope at least that there#is such a thing included...#the hack and slash game genre doesn't greatly interest me but i don't super hate it. i do own a physical copy of first hyrule warriors#though admittedly i haven't played too much of it 🙇♂️ mostly because at the time i didn't know some of the characters that well#so i wanted to first get to know them better by playing the other games. which is... not going that well considering that i still#haven't finished TP LOL soon soon... when i have more time#anyway i did have a bit of fun with that game#so i'm sure this'll be just as fun!#just testing it for now... yuzu doesn't seem to have many configuration options. so there's not much i can do to better#the performance#but this'll do for now#quacks#sad to say i have not drawn a thing these past several weeks. no motivation. it'll come to me at some point. hopefully soon
8 notes
·
View notes