#anyways i got a scam call on my phone in the middle of answering this <3 now im just thinking about the goddamn. the fuckign.

[tmos-time]

Helloooo how we doin? Any good hc(s) for the day?

oh howdy howdy! bit of a weird day today, but nothing a good erisol headcanon can't fix >:)

silly little headcanon, but i always like the idea that (in the specific instance of the trolls getting hoodies with their godtiers on them for whatever goddamn reason) eridan likes wearing sollux's doom hoodie more than his hope hoodie; it's mostly from the fact that he thinks camo green goes better with his violet color more than pale yellow, but also from the fact that the doom aspect is mildly comforting given his role in destroying hope

[riality-check]

come get part 4 of platonic hellcheer coparenting! part 1, part 2, and part 3

Chrissy is trying very hard not to be scared out of her mind. For all her effort, she’s failing miserably.

Three separate tests sit on the counter. Three separate tests from three separate brands. The odds of all of them are astronomically low, and she should know. That Google search is the most recent tab on her phone.

(For a moment, when she was typing, she stopped herself, reminded herself that her mom tracks her search history. Then, she shook herself out of it, remembered that she’s twenty years old and hasn’t lived with her mother for a second since she turned eighteen. Then, she kept on typing.)

But oh, God. She’s twenty years old, and there’s three positive tests sitting in front of her.

She’s twenty years old. She can’t even legally get a drink - she’s got a good fake though, and that bartender never looks too hard anyway - but she’s supposed to have a baby? A baby?

She can barely take care of herself. She’s working a terrible minimum wage job, taking phone calls at a truly mediocre pizzeria, but that’s not enough to support her and a kid. Never mind the fact that there’s no place for a baby here, not with a roommate, and she can’t afford this place without her roommate-

Someone knocks on the door, shaking her out of her thoughts.

“Coming!” she calls, and she gets up off the bathroom floor, wipes her tears, and answers the door.

It’s Eddie. True to his word, it’s only been ten minutes since she hung up on him, and it looks like he spent every minute of it sprinting over. She’s pretty sure his shirt is on backwards, and both his shoes are untied, and his hair is thrown up into a bun that honestly just looks like one big knot.

They’re both such messes. How the hell are they supposed to have a ba-

“You okay?” he asks.

Not hi or can I come in or screw you, you’re on your own.

You okay? he had said.

Chrissy can’t help it, she starts crying again right there.

“Woah, okay, yeah,” Eddie says, coming in and immediately hugging her. “Yeah, stupid question. Sorry.”

She hugs him back, clinging onto him because, honestly? She doesn’t have much else. Jason sucks. She’s not going back to him, ever. And her parents-

Oh, God. Her parents. They would want to know, even if she hasn’t spoken to them in years, and-

“Not stupid,” Chrissy says between sobs, just to get her mind off that particular track. “Not a dumb question.”

“I think I should have been able to tell that you aren’t okay,” Eddie says gently, leading the two of them to the couch.

“No,” Chrissy says, pulling back. She wipes off her tears, puts on an intentionally fragile smile, and says, with her nose almost completely clogged up, “I think it’s a perfectly reasonable question.”

That makes Eddie laugh, which makes her laugh, and it feels a little bit better.

They sit down together, and Chrissy watches as Eddie keeps himself quiet by toying with one of the many rings on his hands. It’s the one on his right ring finger, the one he keeps playing with, the one with a big stone in the middle. It doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of them.

Chrissy wonders where he got it from.

Neither one of them says anything, until Chrissy surprises herself by breaking the silence.

“So,” she says, and that’s all she’s got.

“So?”

“So, what do you think?”

“What do I think?” Eddie asks, tilting his head to the side in confusion. “What do I think? This isn’t up to me, Chrissy. You say how this goes. I’m just along for the ride.”

Oh.

“So, if you don’t want to do this, that’s fine. If you want to, I’ll do it with you. If you want to but want me to get lost, I’ll do that-”

“Why would I want you to get lost?” she asks, interrupting what’s clearly become a nervous ramble.

Eddie stares at her. “Why wouldn’t you?”

“What?”

“Chrissy, I’m a twenty-two year old high school dropout who tried to start a band with his friends and got scammed by a shitty record company. I live with my uncle in a trailer park, I’m studying for the GED, which is way harder than it has any right to be, and I’m never going to be able to love you the way that you deserve.”

Eddie spreads his hands out in a ta-da! motion, and while he’s smiling, Chrissy can see how it’s strained at the corners of his mouth.

“You done yet?” she asks. 

“What do you-”

“Eddie, I’m a twenty year old who hasn’t spoken a word to her parents since the second I turned eighteen. I’m working the world’s worst minimum wage job to try to pay for community college, I used a fake ID at that bar where we met again, and I spent way too much of my life in an unfulfilling relationship because I couldn’t see another option for myself. And, newsflash, I also can’t love you that way.”

“At least you’re in college,” Eddie points out.

“You’re getting your GED,” Chrissy counters. “So you’re no slouch, either.”

“Looks like we’re both wrecks.”

Chrissy laughs, and it quickly turns into a cough, reminding her that, oh, yeah she’s spent a lot of the last half hour just crying. Eddie lets her cough it out, then grabs one of her hands. He toys with it like how he was toying with his ring earlier.

“I think,” Chrissy says slowly, “that if we’re both wrecks, then we should be wrecks together.”

Eddie’s fingers freeze where they’re wrapped around her own. “Are you serious?”

Chrissy thinks for a while. Thinks about the fact that while this is still scary, it’s been significantly less scary since Eddie got here. Thinks about the fact that he’s just as scared as she is. Thinks about the fact that, even though she is scared, this kid will at least grow up with way more love than she ever had.

She already knows she’ll never track internet search histories and calories. Ever.

And, while she doesn’t know Eddie all that well, she thinks that there’s some stuff he’d never do, too.

“I think misery loves company,” Chrissy says.

“I don’t think we’ll be miserable. Not if it’s the two of us.”

“Just the two of us?” Chrissy asks instead of pointing out how Eddie is probably right in a way that makes her heart hurt.

That night, after they’d gotten it over with, was good. Because Eddie is sweet and makes things easy in a way that Chrissy loves.

She thinks it’ll be hard, but she can’t imagine being well and truly miserable with him. But maybe that’s just young adult optimism, since it definitely isn’t the blindness of young love.

“No, of course not,” Eddie says. “My uncle is a fucking saint, he’s gonna try to help out in every way possible, whether we want him to or not. And the guys are all back, and while we’re taking a bit of a break - living and working together for a few years means we just need some space - they’ll help out.”

“I don’t have anyone,” Chrissy says. “Like, at all. I don’t talk to my parents, and I’m never talking to Jason again.”

“Okay. What’s mine is yours, then,” Eddie says, like it’s no big deal. No big deal at all that she can’t have anyone help out the way that Eddie’s friends and family are.

“I’m sorry,” she says. For not doing enough, for not being enough, for choosing the hardest option, even though she does think it’s the right one.

“You’re sorry? You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” Eddie says. “If anything, I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Derailing your life. Since we’re doing this, right?”

“Yeah,” Chrissy says, and she surprises herself by not hesitating, not even for a second. “Yeah, we’re doing it.”

“Okay,” Eddie says, letting out a long sigh.

“And you didn’t derail my life. I think I derailed yours, but-”

“What kind of life do I have?” Eddie asks. Chrissy wishes she could wipe that self-deprecating smile off his face. It makes him look too sad. 

Sad and Eddie shouldn’t belong in the same sentence, she thinks.

“Let’s not say derailed,” Chrissy says. “Let’s say… switched tracks. We were running on different ones, and now we’re on the same one.”

“When trains do that, they crash,” Eddie points out.

“We’re better than that,” Chrissy says. 

Eddie snorts, but he doesn’t have anything to say to that. 

“So, new track?”

She puts her hand out to shake, but Eddie doesn’t grab it. He just wraps his arms around her shoulders, pulling her in for a tight hug.

“New track,” he says, and both of them ignore how he sounds a little choked up.

part 5 exists and so does part 6!

[perfectlyvalid49]

One time, when I was in middle school, some scammer called during dinner. This was in the days before caller ID, so you answered the phone in case it was important.

So anyway, my dad answers the phone, and some dude on the other end starts trying to sell him something, and my dad just got this look on his face where I could tell that he was about to cause mischief. This is not uncommon with my dad, so the rest of the family started paying attention, because we knew we were about to get a show.

And my dad proceeded to flip the call, and sell the guy (well, technically the call center that guy worked at) a player piano. At the time, my dad worked for a company that actually sold the things. He wasn't in sales though, he's an accountant and just kept their books. But he knew enough to make a sale, apparently. He talked to the guy, and eventually got his manager, and convinced them that having piano music from a player piano would be good for employee morale or something. 15 minutes on the phone and my dad had the company's contact info, and they had sold him nothing.

Anyway, this is why I don't worry about my very boomer dad getting scammed.

I’m just thinking about how many times I’ve heard my dad on a long call with an obvious scammer and I’ll start begging him to get off the phone because I always think he’s a very easy mark and he’ll just keep going and then after a while he’ll say something like “I died 20 years ago” and hang up.

[citrineghost]

Avoiding Scams on Freelancing Sites

Hi there! I almost just got scammed today, and I’m going to take the LITTANY of red flags from this interaction and use it to teach you all about how to avoid scams.

I am not making very much money right now. I just lost one of the accounts I was writing for, so I am not not even making enough to pay my rent. So I am desperately looking for work. And, like many people desperately looking for work, my panicking subconscious is willing to see a red flag and brush it under the rug because

“I’m probably being paranoid.”

So, to all of my lovely artists, writers, editors, and other types of freelancers who are desperately looking for work, I would like to create a comprehensive list of things that you should NOT FUCKING IGNORE while looking for a job. Actually, the list will be formatted as things you should expect from your employer/interviewer and if these things are missing, get the fuck out of there.

1. Reputable Platforms

The first thing you should be expecting is to use reputable platforms. If you’re being asked for a virtual interview, you should expect your interviewer to invite you via Skype, Discord, (Maybe slack if they’re middle-aged), perhaps Whatsapp, or whatever website you’re using to find your job.

DO NOT go for interviews on Telegram. This app has been reported as very commonly being associated with scams. This is where my recent experience took place.

2. Willingness to Verify Legitimacy

The first thing you should do when being in contact with an interviewer or HR is ask them to verify their identity. 

This may not be necessary if doing a video call with someone pictured on an official company website, receiving emails or texts from addresses/numbers that are listed on an official company website, or if the job you’re being interviewed for was applied to directly on the company website. In these cases, you are not likely to be scammed, as you’re working with verifiably information.

If you meet someone on Indeed, Fiverr, Upwork, or any other freelancing/job site, keep your contact within the website’s chat system, email system, or whatever. This is how you remain protected under the hiring site’s TOS/Legal whatever. If you get scammed because you took your hiring process elsewhere, they will not help you.

That being said, if you DO take your interview off the site, it should be somewhere reputable and you should ask for your interviewer to verify their identity before doing literally anything else. The best way to get them to verify their identity is to ask them to email or text you from an address or phone number listed clearly on the official company website, by asking them to show you their state ID and checking it for photoshop influence, or by asking to do a video call for the interview and seeing for yourself that you’re being interviewed by someone who is pictured on the official company website as an employee.

3. Clear and Professional Procedures

Any professional working as an interviewer or human resources personnel will have a skillset related to communication and organization. When being interviewed you should expect a number of questions about your skills and how you’re valuable to the company, etc. However, this is easy to fake, as a scammer. What you need to look out for is that they show a clear amount of structure.

If you’re asked for an interview, no real company will demand you be quick about responding. If they’re interested in an interview, a legitimate company is not likely to ask you to do the interview immediately. They will ask you to schedule an interview time with them. They may ask if you have availabilities that day, but they will not just start interviewing you immediately.

After the interview, any professional company will tell you that they will get back to you when they’ve made a decision about your interview. No professional company will tell you to wait for an indefinite amount of time while they talk to HR peers. If a company Does want you to wait, because they intend to make a quick decision, they will give you an expected wait time, as that is the courteous and professional thing to do. They will not expect you to be on-call for this period of time. A time projection is simply to give you an idea of what to expect. For example, “I’ll be in touch within the next 1-3 hours about the results of your interview. Thank you for your time.”

Furthermore, if you are accepted for a job, any professional company will make a clear outline of exactly how they plan to introduce you into company life. They will respect your time and ask you to schedule things with them. For example, “Is there a period of 2-3 hours within the next few days where you would be available for an orientation?” 

No professional company will demand you do anything at any particular time. That is not how legitimate professionals treat new employees. You will be asked to schedule things with them. Even when you’re assigned work hours, if the exact hours you’re applying for are not listed in the job description you applied for, they will ask you to fill out some kind of time sheet to outline your availabilities, then schedule you for times within that outline.

4. Doesn’t Show Signs of Money Scamming

There are two major red flags when it comes to money scams. Your interviewer should never ask you what bank you use and your interviewer should never ever tell you they’re going to send you a check, unless they send your paycheck as a check.

One of the more common scams at the moment is run by people pretending to be members of legitimate companies, hiring freelancers for things like proofreading and editing. These remote positions may require home office hardware, right? The interviewer will tell you you’re missing some hardware and software that are required for the job. Then they’ll tell you that they will send a check that you can cash and use to buy the required materials.

This is even sketchier if they email you front and back images of the check and tell you to print it and then deposit it through mobile banking. The way this works is that, if you cash the check successfully, you will then buy the list of software, which is usually completely unrelated to the job you’re being hired for, then they will cancel the check, which hasn’t cleared completely. That leaves you with ~$2k dollars less in your bank and their money right back where it started in theirs. Presumably, the scammers are the ones selling the software. So, that $2k dollars you just spent is also going into their bank account.

Professional companies will never offer to send you checks to buy products. If they have official hardware or software that they want you to use, they will buy it themselves and then send it to you. There is never a reason why a new hire should buy hardware or software out of their own bank, whether they have been given money for it or not.

Furthermore, a legitimate company will never ever pay you before you have signed and sent your contract to them. One of the obvious giveaways of the scam I was almost caught in was that I was sent the contract last night and I asked if I could send it in today, since it was getting late. The interviewer agreed. I signed it in the morning and then asked him if I should send it in a reply to the email I got the original contract from or if there’s another email I need to send it to. He completely ignored my question, asked me how I was doing, and then went into the check-related information so I could buy software.

The issue was bothering me ALL DAY. I knew there was something extremely weird about that, so I asked again a few hours later. His response? “You have nothing to worry about.” ?????? I was aghast. I wasn’t worried at all! I just wanted an answer! If he had simply told me to respond to the email I’d gotten the contract from, I might have fallen for his scam! What a terrible scammer smdh

A Non-Exhaustive List of Other Red Flags

Your interviewer shows a poor grasp on the language

If your interviewer is making frequent grammatical errors that are glaringly obvious to any native speaker, that is a huge red flag. HR reps and interviewers are hired because of their communication skills. It is highly unlikely that someone who makes non-native-like errors is legitimate unless they are actually openly non-native, in which case, it’s not so alarming.

Your interviewer is showing impatience or demanding you at certain times

If your interviewer is telling you to “report back by 8am tomorrow” without any kind of prior agreement that this is an acceptable time for you to meet, that is extremely unprofessional and shows a lack of patience. Scammers want to get to the meat of their scam quickly and will use an air of professional superiority and authority to scare you into moving faster than necessary.

Your interviewer shows a lack of opening and closing statements

Along the lines of the clear processes that I mentioned above anybody who is initiating you in the job you’re taking should show clear opening and closing statements. What I mean by this is: professionals in human resources or management positions will not keep you as a social hostage. If you’ve been discussing how you’ll begin training or somesuch, they will not just leave you hanging. You should have a dedicated time slot where you will have your discussion and, at the end of it, your supervisor should make a closing statement. For example, “It looks like our time is running out for today. What would be a good time to pick this up tomorrow?”

If you feel like you are “on-call” and unable to leave the room because the interviewer or supervisor keeps messaging, has not outlined a time slot for you to talk in, won’t seem to let you go, or shows no indication of stopping, that is a really bad sign. Either the company is legitimate and TERRIBLE at professionalism (a great sign you should run anyway), or this is a scammer intent on getting you to follow their instructions as soon as they can.

Your interviewer ignores time zones or gets them wrong

When I was contacted about doing an interview yesterday, it was 4:30pm. I did the interview and was told I got the job. Immediately after, without asking if I was free, he began listing off instructions and things I was to expect. It wasn’t until 7:30pm that he sent me the contract and asked me to review it, sign it, and send it back that I finally asked if I could do that tomorrow. The interviewer was supposedly on the west coast and knew that I was on the east coast. He agreed by saying “Alright” and then told me to report to him “by 8am your time.”

There are 3 things about this that are weird. The first is that he demanded I show up at 8am to continue where we left off. Any professional would have asked when I’m available the next day to continue. the second is that he said “your time” instead of saying EST, as most professionals in the US would be apt to do. And, lastly, I showed up at 7:50am, ready to continue, because I’m that desperate that I’m willing to be pushed around, and he showed up at 9am on the dot. He had gotten the time wrong. Nobody who works professionally on the west coast is incapable of adding 3 hours to their time. It was a rookie mistake, or a mistake made by someone in a completely different time zone than they say they are.

When asked to verify their identity, your interviewer attempts to reassure you or refuses

When I finally was fed up and knew this must be a scam, I politely asked my interviewer to verify his identity by either showing me his US ID or by contacting me from his email or phone number listed on the official company website. He sent me a photoshopped nametag with a completely different person’s name and photo on it and said it was the company ID of the HR director. 

I have never seen a facade fall so pathetically. Why would literally any even remotely legitimate person do such a thing? It was sad, really. He deleted the message in less than a minute - no doubt to keep me from looking at it long enough to see how badly it was photoshopped - and then aggressively reassured me that the company meant me no harm and would pay for everything, etc. Any real professional would have simply sent me an email from the legitimate address, stating that they’re legitimate, and then continued on with the initiation process.

Learn from My Mistakes

I hope some of this was helpful for all of you lovely freelancers trying to find work. I thought I would know a scam when I saw one, and I did have a Bad Feeling about this whole thing, because it did feel too good to be true, but I was desperate enough that my judgement was heavily clouded, and that could happen to anyone.

Don’t ignore red flags - especially these ones. Stick up for yourself. Avoid confirmation bias. I looked things up repeatedly to confirm that the company was legitimate and that it’s normal to do things like mobile deposit a printed check and so on. Every time, I found an explanation that suited me. I even tried to cash the check. The only reason it didn’t work was because there was an error with the name on the check because I recently legally changed my name and PayPal was having some kind of issue updating in some areas of its website. It was after that that I realized this was all crashing down and I needed to reassess it all. Don’t let yourself get that deep into it.

[book-o-scams]

'Sorry Wrong Ed' Alternate Ending Storyboard Sequence

Check out Al Kang's Ed, Edd n Eddy portfolio!

Al Kang worked on the show during seasons 3-4 and had roles on the storyboard and prop teams apparently. (IMDb says he was credited as Al Choi at the time, but it also says he worked on season 1 episodes, which doesn't line up with the timeline he mentioned.. anyway.)

I discovered his portfolio a few months ago after seeing fandom discussion of the alternate 'Sorry Wrong Ed' ending. I was pleasantly surprised to find a few other treats as well! But yes, I even sorta liked what I learned about 'Sorry Wrong Ed' in the process... (I threw in a little analysis comparing the two endings at the bottom)

I noticed Al seemed to mix up the order on these, so I thought I'd try my best to figure out the right order. This was the most confusing one for me to try and figure out the order of since almost all 8 pages were out of order. I think I finally figured out what's going on in the original ending.

So this alternate ending starts at an unknown point with Eddy flat on the ground, presumably injured, picking himself back up. At this point in the final cut of the episode, Eddy has just been squashed by a tree, but this seems more like a different injury, and he's not even retaining his injuries from the truck scene... The scenes with Jonny and Plank from the final cut of the episode seem to not exist at all here, Jonny and Plank don't appear in this sequence.

Anyway, Eddy picks himself up in the middle of an on-going scene, sees Jimmy drop a coin in a jar for Ed, who has inexplicably turned the cursed phone into a scam on his own. Edd is glaring at the off-screen kids, who have somehow learned about this phone and are excited to kill Eddy with it.

Eddy: "Jimmy! No!"

Jimmy answers the phone: "Hello?"

Ed: "HA HA HA"

Edd: "You people don't seriously believe--"

Then we sync up with gags that did happen in the ending of Sorry Wrong Ed, with context that makes its tone a little more sadistic than random. Jimmy's paid phonecall drops the sandbox on Eddy.

This page has the most skeletal dialogue...

Kev: "Yes." (I think he's meant to be fist pumping because Eddy got hurt, more of a "Yes!")

Jimmy: "BAD LUCK EDDY PHONE." (this dialogue must have been a placeholder)

Edd: "HA HA" (sarcastic ha-ha or did Al mean to write "Ed" for this?)

Jimmy seems to offer the phone to Edd.

We sync up again with Edd's denial from the final cut of this episode, except now it actually makes sense that he's so one-track-minded, because there are people actively arguing with him and keeping him disengaged from the victim.

Edd: "There must be a cargo plane overfilled with playground supplies..."

Sarah interrupts him.

RING RING

Sarah: "Oh, that's for me."

Eddy at this point holds Ed responsible, as he should, and starts running to stop Ed or Sarah. Ed offers no explanation for his betrayal.

Eddy: "Ed! What are you doing!?"

Sarah: "Hello?"

Sarah's paid phonecall summons the hippos, the most random moment in the final cut of the episode. Note how both of these slapstick gags were storyboarded on the same generic background, seems like the lane or an empty lot, but clearly a different location than Eddy's front yard from the aired ending.

And that's all we have to go off of!

I'll put my updated opinions below the cut, but suffice it to say, I like the episode a little better now! Knowing what the ending was going to be and trying to figure out the choices that led to the ending we got, I feel more appreciative that it didn't end up a lost episode or something and less annoyed that it was 11 minutes of one joke.

I know I have a reputation for not finding slapstick funny and disliking this episode, but violence was never my only issue. Lots of episodes have lackluster slapstick that I just let wash over me. My point that never gets as much focus is that this episode never felt FINISHED to begin with. It's just a slapstick vacuum with no ending and no point, and it used to be frustrating to me not knowing for sure if my hunch was right or not that it felt like the episode just wasn't working and they had to cobble it together from the scenes that almost worked.

I am surprised to say I like the episode more now that I know that is pretty close to the truth. Judging from this peek into the episode's development, this episode seems to have reached Danny Antonucci's and/or Wootie's (the episode's lead board artist) limit for being mean-spirited with the characters without a reason. I'll still probably avoid rewatching it, but knowing the episode has no ending specifically because it's been trimmed to bare bones is somehow reassuring.

The most obvious flaw to this original ending is the lack of motivation for Ed's or the kids' actions. The kids presumably still weren't in the rest of the episode, so there's really no reason for them to be here other than reiterating the same idea from 'Your Ed Here' and 'The Good Ole Ed' that the neighborhood kids are always looking for a reason to gang up on Eddy, something that isn't really true of those characters in earlier seasons.

I think I can imagine how, on paper (in the writers' outline), this episode sounded funnier. Trying to imagine this ending as part of the whole episode, I think the script's idea of the final joke is that Ed is not satisfied with ending the tests at the point where they tried to return the phone to Rolf. I think Ed converts the curse-testing process to a scam at that point, building off of how Ed already wasn't processing Eddy's safety in anything so far, and is probably more focused on proving to Edd that curses are real (as Ed was previously in league with Evil Tim). The addition of Ed running his own tests and the kids arguing Eddy's point against Edd's while Eddy's busy, does sound more like a complete manic cartoon boiling point than the way the finished episode just petered out with Edd as the sole antagonist. But unfortunately, in visual execution, suddenly piling in so many aggressive characters and so much random violence at once, would only really result in it petering out at a higher volume.

Meanwhile Edd's characterization is made much more structurally sound in the original ending. He's annoyed FOR Eddy's sake, and the only reason he's not actively helping Eddy is because like 3 other characters were supposed to be arguing with him while this was happening. It seems extremely apparent to me that the cuts made to this ending were for the sake of mitigating Ed's reputation in the fandom, as well as the kids', and I think it's really unfortunate that Edd's characterization was the cost for salvaging everyone else's. I'm glad I already considered his behavior in 'Sorry Wrong Ed' non-canon, because now it feels like the reason the aired ending is so out-of-character is just because Edd is basically arguing with the ghost of the original scene. I formally forgive 'Sorry Wrong Ed'. Production turnarounds are tough and AKA did their best to not turn this into another forgotten 'Special Ed' episode that simply wasn't working.

I think ditching the original ending was ultimately the right call. It was not an exemplary episode, but I can admit it's less out of place to have a pure "vacuum of violence" story than it would've been to essentially give the kids a supernatural revenge plot like this. That would've been really weird to have to accept-- Eddy definitely wouldn't want to be friends with anyone at the end of the movie if THIS was their past. Changing it to an unaware Jonny and a questionably aware Plank being responsible, indeed, was a vibe that landed much more like standard EEnE fare. It was weird enough that the kids all saw Santa in JJJ, can you imagine if they all knew curses were real AND participated in attacking a neighbor with one??

If there was a silver lining for me the first time I saw this episode, it was that none of the kids were directly involved in Eddy's suffering. It made the questionable reality of the cursed device slightly more acceptable that only the Eds and Rolf know about the curse. If this ending had happened, I would've reacted the same, but I would've rejected its continuity even more than I do now, because it would just feel like they animated one of the DC Comics (where the kids can blow the Eds up with fireworks at the end or the Eds can randomly be crushed under an avalanche of anvils)-- the art could end up gorgeous but the characterizations don't exactly land as real human beings, the balance this show strives for typically.

And I think that's all I wanted to say! In the end, I found myself liking 'Sorry Wrong Ed' slightly more than I used to, all thanks to this glimpse into how the animation production system morphs the outcome of a cartoon. Thanks so much to Al Kang, for sharing your art and this insight into the industry! I don't know whether he did both the gesture drawings and the revised art, but judging from his other boards I think the cleaned up art is his, and I liked seeing the poses that almost were!

[babbysquid]

Not A Whiskey Drinker

Author’s Note: Okay weeee I’m super excited about this. I’m really happy with how this first chapter turned out and I already have plans for future chapters. I am such a sucker for Whiskey and I can’t wait to write more.

Warnings: some slight cursing

Length: 1,934 words

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For as much as you loved New York City, you absolutely hated its winters. Snow in the countryside was beautiful; white and fluffy, it stayed perfect for days on end. Snow in the concrete jungle however; wet, slushy, and turned disgusting in a matter of hours. Trudging your way through Central Park, the snow and salt crunching beneath your feet, you mind drifted. You had just been let go from you recent job, a personal assistant at a high end marketing office. Sighing to yourself and thinking about the possibility of moving back home your foot slipped. Before you could catch yourself you shut your eyes tight, preparing to land hard on your ass. But that smack never came. Opening one eye you were standing face to face with…

“A cowboy?” you asked, quirking an eyebrow at the man in front of you.

“In the flesh.” came the sweetest accent.

Opening your other eye you realized that the cowboy in front of you had snaked a hand around your waist. No wonder you hadn’t fallen. A beat passed and you realized the cowboy still had his arm around you. You stepped away and out of his hold.

“Thank you.” you said, giving an awkward cough and taking a closer look at you savior.

Not to be a cliché, but he was tall, dark, and handsome. Atop his head was a black Stetson, an odd sight in the middle of New York City. He had a perfectly trimmed mustache, and a small smirk underneath it. You silently thanked the cold for hiding the blush that crept up your face. The redness could easily be passed off as a flush from the biting wind.

“Anytime darlin’.” he said, shooting you a wink with eyes that you felt could swallow you whole. “Anyways, I best be on my way.”

Giving you a dazzling smile, he tipped the end of his hat with a gloved hand and brushed past you. You could’ve sworn that his hand grazed yours, but because of your thick mittens it was hard to tell.

Shivering slightly to yourself, you pulled your coat tighter around you and continued your walk to your apartment.

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Unlocking your door and sighing to yourself you looked around your small studio apartment. It wasn’t much, but over the past year it had become your home. Shucking your jacket off you headed to the couch and sat down to pull off your shoes.

‘Guess I won’t be here much longer’ you thought to yourself.

After making yourself a steaming cup of tea you decided you may as well look at your email. Two days ago when you were told of your “dismissal” you had signed up for a couple different job search sites. If you were lucky enough maybe someone would offer you an interview, but your hopes were low.

You crossed your legs underneath you trying to generate as much heat as possible. As much as you loved your tiny apartment, it was an older building so the heating was shit to say the least. You clicked on the mail icon on your desktop and silently prayed to yourself. 10 new emails. Maybe there was hope.

10 Kale Dishes That’ll Be Sure To WOW Your Houseguests!

WARNING — WE HAVE DETECTED MALWARE

Most of the emails were similar to those: junk and spam, until your eyes landed on the last email.

RE: Y/N Y/L/N Job Opportunity FOUND!

Your eyes widened at the subject. Clicking on the email you realized that it wasn’t a scam, it had really come from one of the job search sites. Swallowing hard you hoped that it wasn’t just an offer from one of those salad making chain restaurants. You had your fair share of beginner jobs; barista, Subway, etc. After getting a taste of something more professional, you knew that that’s where you were meant to be. Besides, the pay that Starbucks gave was certainly not enough to live in New York City on your own.

Dear Ms. Y/L/N,

My name is Mr. Daniels and I am writing to inform you of opening at Statesmen Brewery, the New York City branch. I have been in search for a PA since my previous one left. After reading your resume I have become very interested in your skills and talents. Please let me know what days you are free in the coming week.

Jack Daniels

Head of Statesmen NYC Branch

You snorted at the sign off. There was no way someone’s real name was Jack Daniels and worked for a brewery. It was comedic to say the least, but there was no harm in responding to his email and getting an interview. Maybe this was your chance to stay in the city you loved, even if its winter was disgusting. Taking a sip of your tea you started to write out your response.

Mr. Daniels,

Thank you so much for your offer. I am very interested in an interview and am free Monday all day. Please let me know what time is best for you. Is there anything specific I should bring besides a printout of my resume and documents?

Thank you for your consideration,

Y/N Y/L/N

It was currently Friday so you had the whole weekend to prep yourself for the interview. If you were honest, the idea of an interview created a small pit in your stomach. It had been over a year since you’d been interviewed for a job.

May as well do some research on Statesmen.

Pulling open a new browser you typed in ‘Statesmen Brewery’ and clicked on their website. Clearly the company had some tech savvy people working for them as their website was modern and easy to navigate.

Statesmen Brewery has been brewing fine whiskey since 1885 and serving people all across the country and world.

No wonder you never heard of the company, you had never been big on whiskey.

The brewery had its start in a small barn in Kentucky and has since expanded to include two offices in New York, New York and Los Angeles, California. While our reach is wide, we consider every employee and consumer of our alcohol a close family member.

The rest of the front page went on to describe their whiskey and how smooth it was, as well as some fun facts about the company. You closed your laptop and picked up your tea, holding it close to your face and letting go of the tension in your shoulders that you didn’t realize was there. Before you could fully relax you heard your phone buzz on the couch cushion next to you.

It was your best friend Parker. When you first moved to NYC you decided to visit a small bookstore/coffee shop and accidentally grabbed the wrong drink. Turns out that drink belonged to Parker. She had come to the coffee shop to work on a script for an up and coming TV show that was set to be filmed in the city. The two of you became fast friends. You were slightly jealous of the girl as she really had landed her dream job.

Opening the text she had sent it was a photo of her holding a script she had written. Her round face was pulled up into a smile, her auburn hair slightly frizzed from what seemed to be an all nighter. You smiled at the photo and read the text that followed.

Guess who just finished her first script for SVU!

Quickly you typed out a response:

Congrats! Proud of you P. I have some good news too. Landed an interview with a fancy brewery.

Suddenly your phone buzzed nonstop, Parker was calling you.

You pressed the button to answer the phone and before you could say anything a scream hit your ears.

“AHHHHHH I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!!”

“Haha, thanks Parker. Honestly I’m a bit nervous. I did some research and the company seems to be a pretty big deal.”

“What’s the company?”

“Statesmen Brewery.”

“Oh shit my parents love their stuff.”

“I literally know nothing about whiskey other than the fact that I don’t like it. I feel stressed. The interview is on Monday.”

“I’ll come over tomorrow and help you with prep. Also you know I gotta help pick out the perfect interview outfit.”

“Thanks babe. You’re the best.”

“I know.”

You snorted at her response. Parker was confident, and more importantly confident in you. The thought of having her help you prep eased the knot in your stomach.

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The rest of the afternoon was spent talking to Parker over the phone. Eventually the two of you ended your call and you were left to do some random chores around your place. As you mopped the floor you slipped a bit but caught yourself before you fell over. Your mind flashed back to earlier in the day.

At the time you didn’t realize how strong the cowboy’s grip was, but it was not overpowering. You remembered how gentlemanly he was. Looking back on it you tried to remember his face. While it was a short interaction, you couldn’t deny that he was easy on the eyes. Sighing softly you tried to remember the last time you went on a date. It had been several months ago. Your busy PA job never really allowed for romantic relationships. Shaking your head you got on with your day, finishing your chores, eating some leftover Chinese food for dinner, and sinking deep into your bed.

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You were awoken by a knock on your door. Grunting as you got out of bed you swung open the door. The only person who would bother to come over without letting you know was Parker. Your suspicions were correct as she walked through the threshold and made herself at home, talking a mile a minute the entire time.

“Okay so first we need to talk about clothing options.” she said dumping her bag on your couch.

“Not prepping for the interview?” you said giving her a confused look.

Parker sighed.

“Look, I already know you have this interview in the bag. Sure, you may not like whiskey, but you are a wonderful person. While you may be stubborn” you frowned at her comment, “that can be super helpful in interviews. You are a go getting Y/N. I have no doubts about that.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

“Fashion show time!” she said, opening the small closet and rummaging around to find something suitable.

After an hour had passed the two of you finally settled on a suitable outfit. It was professional but still had a touch of you in it. A simple black skirt with a fun silky button down shirt that had a cool pattern on it. As you looked at yourself in the mirror you couldn’t deny that Parker knew what she was doing when it came to fashion.

“Okay finishing touch time.” she said as she unbuttoned the top two buttons of your shirt.

“Parker! This is a job interview, not a date.”

“Ugh. It’s a brewery, they’re gonna be more relaxed about these things. Plus you never know, this Jack Daniels could be a cutie.” she said, giving you a wink.

You chuckled and shook your head. Parker was eccentric but you really did love her. You still had a small bit of anxiety running through your body, but the help of your best friend made you feel more positive about Monday. Maybe you’d be able to stay in New York. Maybe this job might be better than the previous.

[sooghostwriter]

Only on the weekends

Member/Pairing: Do Kyung Soo x OC (Nameless) Genre/Type: Mature, Romance, AU. Warnings: None yet. Word count: 9, 668

Notes: This story takes please wherever you want. You will see why it would be weird to centered it in Korea.

Also, kindly reminder that this is not Instagram. 

Summary: She is saved by a caring man from a little mishappening in the middle of the forest. A small act of kindness turns into seasons of laughs, food, fun, care, love and sex.

Chapter 1

- Summer -

Someone recommended her to go hiking. They said it would fun, that she would get in touch with nature and that when you reach the top, you get this immense feeling of accomplishment. Sounded really good. And she enjoyed going to the gym and running, and this was like that but in a mountain. A friend told her once that it was as good as sex. Clearly, she was wrong, because there was no comparison. One was clearly better than the other.

But a gym is a gym, and nature is nature. All those spinning classes were nothing compared with a steep mountain. There was a coordination she didn't possess, and it was something necessary for this environment. The path was unpredictable, and she wasn't quick enough to adapt to it. She was now last in line and the guide wasn't the best dude out there, hardly checking in with any of the hikers. The clean air made her nostrils cold, breathing was hurting her nose a little bit. The path was a bit scary too. It was very narrow and although the slope wasn’t very high, it was still a little bit terrifying. She was sure she was far away from dying, but it would still hurt. All the negativity of focusing on how bad the situation was, ended up screwing her one on one experience with mother nature. She could barely see the back of the hiker in front of her, and the path was quite slippery due to the last rain. After a short break, she took one step with her right leg, stepping in a small piece of wood. A cylindric piece of wood that suddenly decided to act like a roller skate. She tried to hold herself with the trekking pole, but she didn’t have the skill to do so. The pole reached for thin air as her right leg slid down the slope. Her left leg followed suit, and as if she was in a water park, her body slid down the slope. There was no three to stop her fall, only grass and tiny rocks that hurt her elbows and hands. She shouted for help, hoping that her group could hear her, and kept trying to hold onto something, but it was useless. The fall was short, but hurtful, to her body and her ego. She checked her body, especially her arms and legs, and although there was some pain, her bones were intact. The fabric of her pants had survived also, so the skin of her legs was fine. Her arms were another story. Since it was summer, she went for a t-shirt, so her elbows got the worst part. She stood very carefully and not without some difficulty. Her body still wobbly from the fall. Going back to the path was impossible, it was a pretty decent slope and pretty slippery from the rain. The only option was to walk down the slope, just a few steps, she tried to convince herself. She could see another pathway there. Not the one they used, but a track, nonetheless. She was in pain, but bearable. She held to the pole and stuck it in the loose soil, hoping that it would help her. And it did for the first 10 steps. She was very close to reach the path when, this time, her left foot slid to the front, taking her to the floor. This was the second time the land turned into a slide, and she was the five-year-old screaming on her way down. This time the landing wasn’t very bad. She didn’t fight the fall this time, keeping her arms up and just letting it happen. Her elbows didn’t need more exfoliating for the day. She was now seated in the damp floor, muddy legs and scratched elbows. Two deep breaths helped her keep the frustrated crying inside. She could cry later, now she needed to find her way back to the group. She checked her phone. No signal and almost no battery. So now she had a very expensive brick in her hands. It was hard to keep it cool when you were pretty much lost in the mountains. Doing 100 squats a day did not help her find which way was north and south, or how to find water “Is everything alright?” The sound of a male voice in the middle of the forest just added to this terrible experience “You need help?” She turned around slowly, jolting at the sight of a horse, far away, but still a horse. The person riding the horse jumped down swiftly and walked to her, slowly. He was a bit taller than her. She could see some pecks through his white shirt, he was buffed, but not like a gorilla. Strong tan arms peeked out from short sleeves, the muscles flexing as he reached up to take his hat off. She felt herself relax once she was able to see him better. He looked worried, not as shocked as she was, but still, a little bit taken aback by her sudden apparition “Are you hurt?” He insisted “I’m ok, I just scratched my hands and elbows” She pouted, showing him her arms. He tried to hide his smile, but she saw it anyway “How did you end up here?” “I was with a group, hiking, but apparently my body was not ready for the wilderness, and I was left behind, the guide is clearly a scam” “Is it the guy from the tourist office next to the city hall?” She nodded “Yeah, that guy is a joke…let me help you” Is not like she could choose either. She could walk, but as soon as she presented that option, the guy shook his head, still worried “Is a long way until you can find cell phone signal, and also, it’s monsoon season, the forest is thick and cold, someone who’s not familiar can't walk around here” “And you are familiar with it?” “I live on the border of this forest, is pretty much my backyard” She knew there was a risk in trusting a stranger, but it was also a risk to go alone. He was her only option. And the more she spoke with him, the more she trusted him. Call it instinct.   “What's your name?” She asked, sealing the deal “Do Kyung Soo” She repeated his name for herself, and notice how it fit him. The name started hard and ended softly just like him, just like his features. He asked for her name, and once the formal introductions were made, he faced his horse “It could take you 40 minutes to reach the main road by feet, I offer you a ride” “Can we ride it together?” He patted the horse’s neck thoughtfully “Is not recommended, but for a short period of time it’s ok, we need to share the saddle otherwise it could hurt him” He told her about his horse personality traits “What do you mean he is not very social?” She asked. Apparently, his horse was a kicker, and only his previous owner was able to ride him, besides him “Try to approach him slowly, and wait until he touches your hand with his nose” She looked at him with distrust. He didn’t look quite confident either “What’s his name?” “Chanyeol” That was a special name for a horse. Now that she knew his name, she felt more confident approaching him. She did as Kyung Soo instructed, smiling when Chanyeol didn’t move his snout away. She scratched his long nose and he moved his ears in contentment. Kyung Soo gasped in surprise “It’s that good?” “Yes! Come here, you can get on now” She stood between Kyung Soo and Chanyeol “First you have to put your left foot here,” He said pointing at the stapes “Hold on to the saddle, take one bounce and pass your right leg over the horse and sit down gently” She tried it once since it sounded pretty easy. But the angle of her leg didn’t allow her to jump correctly. The first attempt was a complete fail “I’m going to help you, I’m going to push you from your thigh, just above the knee, is that ok?” “Sure, thanks for asking” She arranged her position, focusing on using her core strength to help her up. This time the leap was probably worst than before, it was really Kyung Soo’s push that did all the work. His hand felt strong and rough against her leg. A very nice feeling, not invasive, but very present. Chanyeol barely reacted to her, he kept chewing the grass “I’m going to go up now, I’m going to sit behind you, sorry but it’s going to be a bit close” He said, looking at the floor “How close?” “Like in a motorcycle, right behind you” That wasn’t very bad. She’s ridden like that before. She sat very close to the front of the saddle to give Kyung Soo a little more space. It didn’t surprise her how smoothly he got on. He wasn’t kidding when he said that they would be sitting very close. She could feel his hard, warm chest against her back. She could feel everything against her back “Why I’m at the front? I don’t know how to drive this…him…it?” He chuckled behind her as he reached for the rains, pressing his chest against her back even harder “It’s him, and don’t worry, I will drive it, I’m just sitting behind you because it’s safer, if you sit in the back and lose your balance and fall, you could bring me down with you” “It’s ok, you don’t have to give me so many explanations” She commented looking over her shoulder at him with a small smile. He didn’t answer, only grinned and shook the rains. Chanyeol took a couple of steps and after Kyung Soo made some kisses noises, the horse began to gallop. Kyung Soo was right when he said that the forest wasn’t for everybody. The threes got taller and the bushes covered the road in some parts. She was now used to the movement of the horse, it wasn’t very scary, probably because Kyung Soo gave her a strong sense of safety “Are you ok?” He asked for the third time in 15 minutes “Yes I’m ok” “How are your scratches? You need to clean them as soon as we arrive at my place” She was so focused on not falling down the horse and in Kyung Soo’s presence that she had forgotten about her wounded hands and dirty clothes “Check your phone, you may have signal now” She did, so she made a quick call to the tourist office to let them know she was alright. They could later inform the incompetent guide at some point. They must have some kind of radio communication. She made sure to show her opinion about the so-called guide. Polite but hard. She couldn’t keep herself under control, so when she hung up she cursed at the phone. Kyung Soo chuckled behind her “What a gutter mouth” He whispered, too close to her ear “Yes, I am very bad” She answered, out of reflex, not trying to sound like anything. Her phone chimed in her hands, telling her that there was only 5% battery life left “Can I charge my phone at your place?” “Sure, what are your plans by the way? Did you come here by car?” Her car was parked at the town’s main square. A van drove her group there and was waiting on the other side of the mountain.“I would drive you to the town, but my car is at the mechanic, I can ask a friend that has a tow to bring your car” “I’m so sorry to bother you, but that would be very helpful” “Don’t worry, we will be there in about 10 minutes” A sudden chuckle escaped his lips. She asked him what was entertaining him “I’m sorry…I just remembered when I saw you fall down the slope” He said, holding his laughter “You saw me?!” She turned around, her face almost colliding with his “I did, I heard some grunts and yells in the distance, and then I saw you, I was shocked at first, a bit scared, you know, this forest is a big one, and we were very deep into it” Again his laugh ringed harmoniously in her ear. She didn’t quite understand what he meant so she asked him for more details “There are a lot of stories about creatures that live here, for a moment, a very short moment, I thought you were a Hulder” “Who’s that?” He moved slightly uncomfortable, clearing his throat a couple of times “I will leave the research to you I don't feel comfortable answering you” “What? Is something bad?” “I wouldn’t say bad, but…you will see” She smirked, amused by the mystery and his deep voice on her ear “You are making me curious, I like that…but have you ever seen something in the forest? Something weird?” He arranged his arms tighter around her, humming before answering “Of course not, those are just legends to keep people away from the danger of the forest, sure you are not going to find a werewolf, but a wild boar can cause the same damage, also, slopes” “Slippery slopes” She corrected him “But how do you know that I’m not a Hulder? Maybe I am one, and I’m going to do whatever a Hulder does” “They have long tails hidden under their long skirts, I don’t think you have one” She had absolutely no bad intentions when she moved her hips unconsciously, rubbing herself against him. Kyung Soo grunted softly but made no comments. At least, he was now sure that she had no tail “What were you doing in the dangerous forest then?” “Picking some wood for something I want to do" Chanyeol’s steps were slower now, the sway of his walk softer. The forest ahead was less dense. The trees were shorter, most of them with fruits on them, and the path they were walking on was covered in small rocks “We are here, that over there is my house” He pointed at a wood house in the distance, past a field of grass were a couple of cows, cheeps and a bunch of chickens were idling around. The silence of the field made her notice the clean sounds of their surroundings. Instead of cars, planes and chatter, there was wind, a distant chicken announcing her job done and the murmur of the river “Is there a river close by?” She asked, looking around them in excitement, she loved water. He pointed at his house again “On the other side of my house, during the summer is calmer, some parts are deeper than others, but if you know how to swim, there shouldn’t be any trouble” Chanyeol stopped walking next to a couple of cows that were eating hay under the shadow of a tall tree “He is not allowed around the house, he’s already made a mess of my garden a few times” “Chanyeol, bad boy” She said patting the horse’s neck, getting a happy neigh in return “I can’t believe how welcoming he is with you, one time he almost bites my friend’s hand, and he sees him very often” “I'm not gonna lie, It feels great being liked by animals,” With a chuckle Kyung Soo jumped down from the horse, looking insanely manly in her eyes. She knew she had to do the same but had absolutely no idea how. Kyung Soo noticed her expression and quickly explained to her how she should go down the horse, and it sounded fairly simple, but suddenly, she felt as if she was too high up “Don’t worry, I will help you” He offered, probably sensing her fear “Ok, but careful... I'm heavy” He rolled his eyes and reached for her waist. She held to his shoulders and with a decisive jump she went down, trusting in Kyung Soo, again “You are kind of heavy, but I'm strong” He said, his face too close to hers. His voice had gotten a little lower and almost sultry. She couldn’t speak even if she tried to say something back to him. He let go over her waist, taking her own hands from his shoulders was harder than she thought. His shoulders were wide, slightly damp, and hot thanks to the sun that fell on his back. The same sun that tanned his skin so beautifully. He looked at her entertained, his left eyebrow slightly raised. She let go of him as if burned “What now?” She asked, looking around distracting herself, still feeling his hands on her waist “Let’s go inside so I can call my friend with the tow and maybe eat something” “Yes please, I am starving” Kyung Soo’s house was small but very cozy. Minimal furniture, a couple of pictures hanging on the walls, very warm and clean. There was a delicious smell lingering in the air. Apparently, Kyung Soo was a cooker “I’m going to warm some food for us, and you should go clean those scratches” He showed her where the bathroom was and gave her the first aid kit. The scratches weren’t that bad. They stung like hell when she cleaned them, but that was the alcohol fighting the forest bacteria.   When she came back to the kitchen, Kyung Soo was serving two plates of food, humming along with some melody “I have good news and bad news” He told her as she sat at the table “Good news, my friend can bring your car, bad news, he isn’t going to be able to get here till 6” “Well that’s not really bad news. I mean not unless I’m bothering you, then I guess there’s a road I can follow back? Maybe find a ride?” “No more talk about walking, we are quite high in the mountain, you are going to have to walk at least an hour to reach the main road, I would recommend for you to enjoy your food, and wait here for the tow” There was no way she would say no to that. Not only because she didn’t feel like walking an hour, but also, because she felt like staying with him for a little while. Again, intuition. But she needed more than intuition no know him. So she began asking questions. Kyung Soo was the estate manager of a property in the vicinity. He managed over hundreds of acres, dozens of employees working a variety of jobs for it. He was one of those strange people that loved his job, and spoke about it with sparks in his eyes. Lucky guy. When she complimented his house, he looked very pleased. She quickly added how much she enjoyed the food, earning her a shy shake of his head looking down at his hands. Adorable. They were done with their lunch by two. Kyung Soo’s roasted chicken was incredible “I have to go and untie my dog, want to come?” He asked her after cleaning the table. She said yes, not that she had anything else to do “Is your dog like your horse? You know, picky with people” “No, but even if he was, you would have a good chance of him liking you, right?” He commented, raising an eyebrow. They went to the front of the house where his dog, Baekhyun, was waiting for him, wagging his tail. Baekhyun was a big German Sheperd with large pointy ears, fluffy hair, and big paws “Why do you keep him tied up?” “When I go to the forest I can’t take him with me, he goes nuts, if he smells a rabbit he runs behind the trail not thinking about anything, then Chanyeol gets nervous and it’s a mess, sorry buddy but that’s just how it is” He told him sweetly as he released him from the chain.  Baekhyun jumped on his owner, giving him some licks, and then looked in her direction locking eyes with her. Kyung Soo tried to stop him, but Baekhyun was already jumping on her.

Kyung Soo walked her around his small farm, showing her with proudness his small orchard and the coop he had just built for his chickens. He looked at her smiling widely when she made a big deal about how cool he was for being able to build a tiny house for his chickens “Well, I built a big one too” He said, pointing at his house “I didn’t do it all by myself, but I built my home” She was stunned with how incredibly sexy that was. Men didn’t build houses anymore “You are like a Bowerbird” She commented as a chicken begging pecking her shoelaces “Bowerbird? The ones that build houses to attract their mate?” “Yeah, that one” He looked up pensive as she tried to reach for the chicken that was playing with her shoe “Who am I trying to mate with?” It was too soon for her to know if he was joking or asking seriously. But she knew she wanted to keep joking because a good laugh is a good flirt “Maybe that Hulder you were talking about earlier” The chicken was gone, so she was able to focus her eyes on him now. He already had his eyes on her, and a playful grin on his lips. He didn’t say anything, only smiles. But when he winked at her, she knew he was hers.

After walking her around his farm, showing her his adorable animals, the tow arrived with her car. He invited his friend over but he excused himself saying he had to go back to work. She had to bit her tongue when his friend introduced himself as Chanyeol. And only when he was gone, she asked Kyung Soo the obvious “You named your horse after your friend?” “Yes, he hated it, so mission accomplished” “What about Baekhyun?” “Same, although this friend liked the fact that I called my dog after him, because Baekhyun was a gift from him” She commented on how sweet that was “I was trying to annoy him too, but it backfired, and he made it worst saying that now he feels like he is here to take care of me” “Kyung Soo, that’s adorable” He grunted and walked back inside his house with Baekhyun following his steps.

After eating a small snack, she prepared her things and got ready to leave. Kyung Soo followed her to her car like the gentleman she was sure he was “Thank you so much for your help Kung Soo, and thank you for entertaining me, I had a great time” He held the door car opened for her so she could get in “Well, you already know where I live and how to get here” “Are you inviting me back?” “The door is always open and help is always welcomed” He commented looking around his land “Then I will come next weekend, I'm not joking” “Me neither” She got inside her car, smiling at him, a bit disappointed that she had to leave “I’m really coming next week, I’m going to be here by lunch” She said looking up to see Kyung Soo with an amused grin looking down at her “Go ahead, should I prepare the guest room?” “Sure, if you don't want to share your bed” She groaned internally. That was a bit too much, she knew it. But Kyung Soo was laughing “What can I bring you?” She asked him over the sound of her car “Bring wine, I'm going to cook” She felt a little jump in her tummy “Sounds great! Goodbye Kyung Soo, have a good week”             “Goodbye Hulder” She was really digging that name, although she still needed to know what a Hulder was. On her way home, she had to stop at the gas station for gasoline and a bottle of water. As she waited in line to pay, she remembered her homework. Searching for what in the world was a Hulder. She clicked the first link she saw:

-  A Hulder is a seductive forest creature. Appearing frequently as a beautiful alluring female, with long, golden hair, Hulder lives in the mountain or the forest. A number of stories recount the experience of encounters with these beings, leaving deep traces in the human mind. Many legends talk about a lonely guy at the shieling, in the forest shanty or at coal mine, encountering the alluring and bewitching hulder. She may very well appear as the man's wife's or fiancé, if he has any, and often her visit leads to sexual encounters” She read that twice, just to be sure. “The Hulder lures men into the forest to have sex with her, rewarding those who satisfy her and often killing those who don't. If one decided to kidnap a human, they'd be used for sex. Those who had sex with the Hulder would often become mentally insane or die” 

She had to read that sentence twice too. She was glad Kyung Soo told her to search what a Hulder was, because it would have been mortifying to hear everything she had just read, from him. She appreciated the carefulness and was intrigued by the comparison. She was sure he wasn’t implying anything. The connection was almost too basic, the Hulder was a woman that lived in the forest, and she was a woman that got lost in the forest. And that was about it. But she was digging the idea of being called after a forest creature that fucked man to madness.

--

She spent the entire week wondering if she should go. Did Kyung Soo remember his invitation? Was he really inviting her or he was just being polite? Did she have any reason to go? The image of him winking at her flickered in her head, and she had her answer. She had a reason to go. She needed to see if that pull that she felt from him, that comfort, that intuition, was something, or just her hormones. Or could be both. But she needed to see. Also, his house was gorgeous, and she wanted to see his animals again, and that river that she only got to hear. She wanted that feeling again. Expectation, comfort, and easy fun. She was having a bit of trouble remembering Kyung Soo’s face to the detail, but she could remember his voice and how things felt around him. So that Saturday morning she got up early, went to the supermarket, and then took the highway and drove the hour and a half that separated her city from Kyung Soo’s town. But when living one’s life, there has to be a balance between craziness and protection. She could be her wild self, but she needed to protect her existence on some level. So before driving up the mountain to Kyung Soo’s house, she stopped at the town’s supermarket. She bought some candies for the snack bag in her car and a bottle of water. The girl behind the register great her happily, and after the formalities, she asked her “Can you help me? To get to the mountain, I have to go back and take the other road right?” “Yes, follow that road, and at the first entrance turn to your right, then is just one way up? You are going to one of the camping sites?” “No, I’m visiting my friend Kyung Soo” She answered, looking at the girl, so she could remember her face. But she was shocked when she saw some clear signs of discomfort on the cashier's face “Oh, yes I know him, you are going to the estate?” “No, to his house” She nodded, pulling a smile on her lips, back to her professional self “Have a good day then” She grabbed her bag and waved the girl goodbye. The exchange had been strange, but now someone knew where she was. So if Kyung Soo ended up being a psycho and she disappeared, they would be able to follow her trail. The safe thing to do was probably not go to the mountains, to the house of a man she barely knew. But where was the fun there?

The engine of her car took the drive up the mountain better than she expected. Of course, she was extremely careful so it wouldn’t overheat. Although the day was very hot, she kept the AC off and stopped a couple of times to let the engine cool off. She would probably need to change her car for a car that can take mountains. She shook her head, surprised with her line of thoughts. Why would she need a new car to drive to Kyung Soo’s house? Why would she keep visiting him? She hasn’t even spoken to him since that day. Because in a very dumb move from her side, she didn’t ask for his number. But he invited her, she told him when she was going to be there. There was nothing else to discuss.

The gates of his house were open, so she just drove inside, announcing her arrival by honking her horn. The first one to appear was Baekhyun, who dashed to her car barking but shaking his tale. Immediately after him, appeared Kyung Soo and she could swear she felt her crutch jump in excitement when she saw his new hairstyle. His head was completely shaved. If she didn’t control herself she was going to take him right there, on the hood of her car. But she was a responsible, mature adult who could control her primal needs. Kyung Soo reached her car, smiling widely and holding Baekhyun to his side. She took a couple of deep breaths and went out of her car “I was waiting for you” He said, taking a step closer “I’m a woman of my word” “I can see that” He held her stare for a little too long, steering things inside her, again “You look different” She commented, throwing herself a lifesaver. Kyung Soo lowered his eyes, as she expected, and rubbed his bald head looking shy “There was a heatwave this past week and my hair was annoying me, so I shaved it” He kept rubbing his head, as if he was bragging about the fact that he could do it, but not her “It looks damn great Kyung Soo” He chuckled, still looking embarrassed “Well, is not going to last a lot, my hair grows really fast” “Really? How so? My hair grows really, really slow” Kyung Soo didn’t answer her question. He only gave her a naughty grin, keeping his secret to himself.

Kyung Soo praised her for her wine choice. Since she didn’t know what they were eating, she played it safe and brought a bottle of white and red wine. The red `wine went great with the amazing Zucchini and tomato penne he prepared. All with vegetables from his orchard, he announced proudly. It was a light meal, but so full of flavor, that it was hard to keep down the amount of pleasure the first bite gave her. Lunch went on comfortably. Kyung Soo took a special interest in how she dealt with the guy from the tourist agency. When she told him how harsh were the words she used with him, Kyung Soo threw his head back, laughing loudly. She looked at him with a wide smile. She liked to make cute boys laugh, so of course, she enjoyed making him smile.

Only after lunch, things went out of control for her. Inside her. Upstairs and downstairs. Maybe it was the wine and the food and how her stomach was processing it, but she began feeling dizzy around him. Because since she arrived, she only paid attention to him. That tiny bit of sauce on the corner of his mouth, and the way he closed his lips around the fork. But those were innocent stares. Kyung Soo had the bright idea of finishing some work that he had to do in front of her. He needed to chop some wood for a small food project he had. He shared with her, very excitedly, about how rich, flavor-wise, was smoking a pig with certain woods. Her only knowledge about pigs was that if you want to eat one, you go to the supermarket. But Kyung Soo liked doing it the hard way. So now, he was chopping wood for this cooking project. It was a damn torture for her to watch him doing it, and not being able to touch him. The muscles of his arms and back showed proudly under his t-shirt. Not being able to clean the sweat from his forehead as he worked on his wood was incredibly frustrating. They were covered from the sun, but his skin still shined like gold. With a shaved head, his nape looked more appetizing. She laid back on her seat and crossed her legs, getting comfortable to enjoy his little show. She suspected he wasn't doing it on purpose, although she loved the idea of being courted by a young man as he chopped wood with a white t-shirt sticking to his skin. Or maybe he was doing it on porpoise, after all, she didn't know him well. She didn’t know if he was conscious of how attractive he was. But if he knew, there was no doubt he was an amazing seducer. She was appreciating how well his dark jeans framed his sturdy thighs when he called her name " Hulder, let's go pick up some things for you" "Things? What things?" He walked to her, cleaning his forehead with the hem of his t-shirt. The gesture allowed her to see a set of humble, yet very present abs. She groaned, feeling too hot to do whatever he was proposing. It was summer after all "I have lettuces, cucumbers, and eggplants ready to eat" "Are you giving them to me or do I have to pay?" He chuckled, standing in front of her, still drying his face with his hands. She looked down at his feet, looking for a scape "You have to pay, but not with money" Everything in a conversation was about context and the messenger. Because that same sentence, in any other lips, would have made her skin crawl. But hearing it from his lips made her hopeful "I need to pick up some squash for my cows and sheep, help me with that and in exchange I’m going to give you some products from my orchard” She stood up and followed him, she couldn't refuse. She didn’t particularly like the idea of working under the sun, but the other option was to say no and look like a bitch. And that wasn’t on her road to success. She didn’t work too much. Only pulled the wagon around as Kyung Soo put the enormous squashes and the deep purple eggplants in it. Kyung Soo looked thrilled as he picked the vegetables from the floor. She had several questions about the whole process of growing vegetables, and he answered all of them. As she pulled the wagon with her on their way to the piece of land where his animals were, she shared a thought that came to her head as Kyung Soo gave her a cherry tomato for her to taste “I don’t know about you, but I’m not a particularly religious person, but I don’t know… in this environment, and watching all this gorgeous product from the soil, I can only call them miracles, it feels like a miracle when you see something like this grow from a seed, developing a color, smell, a texture, and a taste, and then giving back a seed so you can repeat the process…I know it's not a miracle, there are work and science behind, but still, it’s just too precious, it feels miraculous” He didn’t answer immediately, so she looked at him, sure that she had made a foolish comment and he was trying not to laugh. But he wasn’t. He was looking at her, a small grin on his lips. It reminded her of the smile he gave her the day they met and she had that overly possessive thought. That day though his expression was one of amusement. Now he looked thoughtful. She had to look away laughing nervously “I have that same thought every single day,” He said. She didn’t look at him, but nodded, glad that they shared the same thought. The nervousness and the soft smiles dissipated with how cute and funny was to watch the cows and sheep eat the squashes. The crunchy noises they made, made her giggle uncontrollably. One of his cows surprised her with how fat she was “She is about to give birth, probably during this week, so make sure to come next weekend to meet her calf, they are so adorable” She promised him that she will.

The light of the sun had changed, ready to set. It was time for her to go. Kyung Soo helped her load her car with all his gifts and followed her as she got inside her car. “ By the way, I searched what a Hulder was?” He moved slightly uncomfortable, resting his left hand on the roof of the car “Should I apologize?” He asked, not looking at her “No, of course not, don’t worry, I liked it actually, never heard about a creature like that, but why did they come out with it?” “To keep people, especially men, away from the forest, no men with good intentions lurkes around the forest by himself” She lifted one playful eyebrow at him “You were walking in the forest by yourself” “Yes, and I ran into you, so lesson learned, also, I wasn’t alone, I was with Chanyeol” “And I’m not hiding a tail under my clothes” He laughed, the sweetest laugh she had ever seen “We will see, it’s getting dark Hulder, have a peaceful drive home” “Thank you for the lovely afternoon Kyung Soo” He lowered his head to her window, more relaxed now “Thank you for the company, are you coming next weekend?” “Of course” He smiled again and took a step away from the car. The roaring of the car made her jolt, breaking the pseudo spelling he always managed to put in her.

Her third Saturday at Kyung Soo’s house was a short visit. She had to leave early due to family matters, so she only stayed until lunch. She felt so frustrated when she got in the car and the sun was still up, burning. The afternoon was long, and she wanted to enjoy it. But there was nothing she could do “Is it too nuts if I come again next week?” “Hulder, I didn't know you could read minds” By her fourth Saturday there, she stopped asking if she could visit again. On her fifth visit, an event made her get greedy and want more. That Saturday was an especially hot one. She arrived at his place at 9 am, and it was already too hot for her. She would’ve rather stayed in the car with the AC on. Kyung Soo was in shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt, his head freshly shaved. But the weather was too hot to lust over his look. He invited her in for a glass of water and then took her to a sitting area under a set of trees “It’s too hot to do anything, so let’s just laze around here” He proposed, getting comfortable “What do you do in heatwave days?” “Just lay down in the shade, reading, drinking, eating…and after lunch, I go to the river” She almost jumped on him “We have to go to the river! Please take me there” “Did you bring a swimsuit?” She shook her head “It’s ok, you can swim in your t-shirt and shorts, let’s go after lunch, right now the sun is just on top of the river, you could get a sunburn” She liked how motherly he sounded. He behaved like that all the time. Always asking how she was doing, if she ate well during the week, how was work and the drive to his place. He was someone who worried about everyone and took care of everyone and everything. And she wasn’t bothered by it at all. She liked it when people took care of her. They spent the whole morning laying on the lounge chairs talking, only interrupted by Baekhyun’s barking. He grilled some chicken and prepared a colorful salad for lunch. Quick and light for the hot day. She was entertaining him with a story from work, getting all his smiles just for her “I can tell you take your untamed personality everywhere” He commented between laughs “Untamed? You think I’m untamed?” “Sounds better than wild” She chuckled, moving her empty plate to the side “Sounds way better than wild, you are right…I guess I do…I try to act like that at least” Kyung Soo did the same with his plate and rested his arms on top of the small table leaning closer to her “You try to act? You are not always like this?” She moved closer too, playing with his feet under the table “I’m not always like this, although I’m not quite sure what you mean by it…but no, I’m always half out of and half in. Sometimes I'm very…untamed and sometimes I’m extremely shy, depends on the day and the company I guess” Kyung Soo shook his head, a small smile on his lips “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you act shy with me” “Of course not, because I don’t feel shy with you, I’m very comfortable” He smiled the way she liked the most. Heart-shaped lips, wrinkly nose, and shyly looking down.

After resting for an hour, Kyung Soo finally took her to the river. Coming out of their shadowy nook was hard, the 4 PM sun was ruthless, but Kyung Soo promised a good reward. And he wasn’t lying. The river appeared in front of her flowing with unrestrained wildness. So fast that it created a fresh breeze. She could see big rocks covering the bottom, bathed by the deep green water. Kyung Soo walked her along the riverside, to a place where the river was deeper and wider, so it moved flowed calmer “Careful, is a bit cold” He shouted at her as she got into the now calm water. And he wasn’t lying. It almost hurt her feet “This water is the melting snow from the mountains, of course, is cold” He told her when she made a snarky comment to him “But you get used to it quickly, look” Kyung Soo got rid of his sandals and pulled off his t-shirt, making her jolt in surprise. She completely forgot men did that. He walked past her, giving her a wink, and got into the water. She didn’t have enough time to appreciate his half-naked body, but for what she could see, all the work at the farm paid off. He came out screaming, the water covering half of his chest “ It’s so fucking cold!” She erupted in laughter, taking a couple of steps into the deepest part, closer to him “ What a gutter mouth ” “Come here, it’s cold, but it’s delicious” He went under the water again and came out floating on his back. She really wanted to go closer, more for him than the water. She just wanted a closer look. The water was already covering her shorts, and Kyung Soo was right, it got better. He floated to her side, and stood in front of her, offering her his hands “Come on, let me help you” She accepted his help, holding to his hands as he walked backward pulling her with him “I can’t believe this is the first time you are bringing me here” “You are right, I guess we never have enough time” He stopped walking when the water was already covering just under her chest “No, we don’t, a day is too short” “Yeah, and when you are entertained it goes away faster” Kyung Soo didn’t let go of her hands, so she just played with his fingers under the water “You have a good time with me Kyung Soo?” “Yeah, a very good time” He answered with confidence “I’m glad” By now her body had familiarized itself with the cold water and it only felt refreshing. At least the parts of her body that were underwater. She wanted to swim like Kyung Soo and sink her head under the water. The rocks shine in the bottom of the river, calling her, and she looked around, amazed by the sound that surrounded her and the comfort that held her hands. She looked back at Kyung Soo, who was looking back at her with an amused smile “You can swim?” He asked her “I can” “Go ahead then” He let go of her hands slowly and took a couple of steps back. She took a deep breath and went down, no hesitation.

After some laps across the peaceful river, she rested floating on her back, watching the trees above her and hearing the sound of the water. She heard Kyung Soo calling her name over the sound of the water. She ignored it first, just to hear him call her again, but answered after the third call “I think I was wrong, you are not a Hulder, you are a mermaid” “A river mermaid? Is that a thing? … How long I’ve been swimming?” “About an hour maybe, I like watching you have fun, but aren’t you cold?” She wasn’t cold, but she was pretty tired. But it was still hot up there, and the river was fresh. Kyung Soo offered her another option. They walked down the riverbank, holding their shoes in their hands, and their clothing stuck to their bodies. At least hers, because Kyung Soo was still shirtless, sharing with her those nice shapes that hard labor gave him. Kyung Soo took her to a shallower part of the river, the water only covered up her ankle. The stones were a bit slippery, so she held to his arm as they walked across the river “There’s a natural pool there, it appeared this past winter, we can rest there” Between a bunch of big rocks, there was indeed a round pool as big as a jacuzzi, and a bit deeper than a kids pool. Tiny rocks covered the bottom, making the water clear. Kyung Soo sat down and the water covered his legs and waist. She followed him and sat next to him. A big rock behind them was good enough to rest their backs. They laid down as if the cold water was an actual hot bath. Kyung Soo was lying back comfortably, his hands resting on his stomach and his eyes closed, as the sunlight played on his face. She took that opportunity to stare at him shamelessly. Not that she didn’t steal looks of his naked chest and back as they were swimming. But now he was closer, so now she could have a full look of his whole being. Which didn’t happen very often. She focused on his nose and lips, two mounds that rose from the soft line of his profile. The straight line of his nose bent cutely on the tip of his nose. She wanted to bop it. His lips distracted her from her childish fantasy when he licked them, sighing softly. He didn’t open his eyes, so she kept looking.  A set of beauty marks caught her attention. Three light beauty marks in his upper lip, so subtle that she could only see them clearly now that she was sitting close, so close. She was holding her breath. A loud squawk came from the trees above them, waking Kyung Soo from his slumber. She was caught red-handed staring at him. She wasn’t embarrassed, but it felt a bit scary. If Kyung Soo showed discomfort for being stared at like that, she didn’t know how to redeem herself. How not to look like a creep. But he only blinked and turned his face closer to hers “You have a mole on your lips” She said, trying to ease the tension, but failing. He hummed, a low noise that made her shiver, and nodded as his eyes went to her lips “It's very pretty” She tried again, failing “Thanks” Kyung Soo, magnetic as always, was pulling her even closer just by looking at her. She was about to kiss those moles, and the thought made her feel the familiar vibration of excitement. She was moving her hand up, to hold his face, when they heard loud splashing and grunts. They both snapped their heads in the direction of the sound and saw Baekhyun running along the river in their direction. He had free himself from the chain and was now a very non-welcomed dog. Kyung Soo grunted under his breath and stood up, holding him before he could lunge his German Shepard body onto her. The moment was dead and buried under cement. She stood up too and followed them out of the river. It was getting cold anyway. Kyung Soo was standing a couple of steps away from her as she tried to squeeze some water out of her t-shirt. Kyung Soo called her name with a calm voice, she almost missed it over the sound of the river “I bet you have broken a bunch of hearts” He said, smiling, but she knew he wasn’t trying to be funny. And she was going to be honest “Never on porpoise” Because she had a story, she wasn’t going to lie, but she held every break up with honesty and care. She knew what she wanted and when someone wasn’t going to give it to her, she let them go. He chuckled, clearly pleased with her answer.

Afraid of the awkwardness that the whole situation could bring, she joked as she looked down at her knees “Jesus, I’m dripping, people are going to think that I pee myself” Kyung Soo laughed loudly and turned around, looking at her “Gross” She laughed and walked next to him. Baekhyun gave her an innocent look, wagging his tail. But she couldn’t find him cute. He was more like an enemy now. As soon as they arrived at his house, she changed her clothes and then hanged her wet clothes to dry under the sun. From her t-shirt to her underwear. Just outside Kyung Soo’s kitchen. The water made them both hungry, so they ate chicken and bread as the sun began setting. It was time for her to go, and she felt the weight of the frustration in her chest. It was all Baekhyun’s fault. As always, he gifted her a basket with an assortment of different vegetables and fruits and walked her to the car. She knew how frustrated she looked. She was never good at hiding her feelings, so she didn’t even bothered. Her shoulders were low and her voice too. But Kyung Soo was the same as always, a smile on his lips all the time. She knew, or at least was very sure, that this attraction was shared. But clearly, he was dealing better with it. She could just go and kiss him, she was frontal like that, but again, she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable “I’m leaving then, thanks for everything, and thank you for that visit to the river, I loved it” “No need to thank me, I had a great time” Since she didn’t want to leave, she kept making small talk. Stupid questions and silly comments. Kyung Soo answered and listened patiently. She knew it could be annoying, but he didn’t seem to care. He was glancing at her lips the whole time while she was talking, which was making her extremely nervous and impatient. She was running out of sentences to form, so she said goodbye for the second time and turned around, to her car. She could only take one short step when Kyung Soo stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. She heard him call her name softly, and before she could turn around, shortening the distance between them, he passed an arm around her shoulder and made her face him. His body was fully pressed against her, his face so very close to hers. Her ears were buzzing, and the air was stuck in her throat. Kyung Soo grabbed her face and didn’t even bother with asking for permission. He didn’t need to. She was sure he knew that much since her hands were already holding to his waist. She welcomed his touch with eager lips when Kyung Soo captured her lower lip between his own. He sucked on it, pulling her closer. She could feel his chest through their clothing and his hand guiding her face with a bit of dominance. It was cozy and incredibly hot at the same time. She tilted her head, asking, begging for more. More lips, more tongue, more touch. Kyung Soo began biting at her lips playfully, his fingers tangled between her tousled hair, kipping her close to him. She did the same, making him chuckle, but not breaking the kiss. She moved her hands from his waist, sliding them over his chest, up to his neck, and grabbed his nape, capturing him. Kyung Soo came up for air just as she was starting to get way too handsy. He gave her a last peck and took a short step back. He looked at her grinning, waiting for her response. If he was expecting a blush and a giggle he was going to get that, but also an attitude "You waited until now to kiss me" She chided. His big eyes grew rounder for a second, but then softened when he noticed she was just being feisty and not really mad at him “I couldn't find the right moment before” He explained, caressing her cheeks as he moved his eyes over her face “When you sat behind me on your horse was a great moment” Kyung Soo looked shocked for a couple of seconds, followed by a shy laugh “Why did you do that just when I was leaving?!, We could have made out the whole day" Her voice was filled with disappointment, which made him bring her closer in a hug "It's funnier like this" "It's not" She mumbled against his chest "Go, you are going to meet traffic if you don't " "Kiss me again" She made it sound like a plea, but it was a command. She needed another kiss "No" He was unable to control his playful smile "I'm going to do it then" She circled his neck with her arms, bringing his face to hers. Kyung Soo didn’t resist. She caught his lower lip between her lips, sucking on it lightly, finally doing something she imagined way too many times before in her head. Kyung Soo answered back tangling his fingers in her hair. With each little trick of her lips, Kyung Soo growled softly, fueling her. She wasn’t only enjoying his kiss, but also how her pounding heart reverberated through her chest and how her limbs tingled with his touch. Kyung Soo was the first to move away, showing way more control than her, but he didn’t let her go and hugged her closer to him "Dear God Hulder, you better be here on Saturday morning" He whispered against her temple “I can make it Friday afternoon” He kissed her cheek and released her from his embrace  “Drive carefully then, I will be waiting for you” “Should I bring an overnight bag?” “You should, and a swimsuit” She held his hand, and walked to her car bringing him with her. She wanted a goodbye kiss. Kyung Soo held the door open for her and closed it when she was seated inside. She opened the window, and he came closer, leaning in through the car window “Drive carefully” “I will, give me your number so I can tell you when I’m home” Kyung Soo’s eyes went comically wide “That’s right, we haven’t exchanged numbers yet” She couldn’t stop laughing as she searched for her phone. Hopefully, it was still charged, forgotten inside her car. She handed it to Kyung Soo, who smiled when he saw a close-up of Chanyeol as her screen saver. He saved his number as -Do Kyung Soo- in her phone. It felt very formal “I had an amazing day Hulder” “Me too Kyung Soo, started great, and it ended amazingly, by the way, when did you want to kiss me?” “Ah right, you said when I helped you at the forest…well for me it was when you said that my vegetables were miracles”  He gave her a shy smile and leaned in for a goodbye kiss. She held his cute face and gave him a long peck on the lips and one on each cheek. He giggled happily and took a couple of steps back so she could leave. Driving home was a mixture of frustration for having to leave him, but happiness overall since finally her feeling for her were able to fly free. Her music was playing loud in her car, windows down and one arm resting in the window playing with the wind. Pure bliss. As soon as she arrived home, she texted him and he answered back immediately. The texting didn’t end until very late that night. And before falling asleep she imagined all the things she wanted to do, starting from Friday, at Kyung Soo’s home. But mostly, all the things she wanted to do to him.

[venactricisfics]

Malibu Desert

Chapter Nineteen

Finding something of my own.

Tag List: @wanderlust75​  @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo​

Master List

I tuck a loose copper curl behind my ear as I peck at the keys of my computer. It was quiet in our big house with Bishop out at the clubhouse. And I was home alone with my work. It should be easier to work without anyone else underfoot. But the emptiness of the house was distracting.

I glanced over the list of things that Vicki and her girls needed then placed the order. I had a med student scheduled to go over and perform exams with me later in the week.  Everything with Vicki was working out fine.  I just wrote the checks. But I wanted to work. To do more. 

I chewed on my lip and stared at my phone and typed out her number. I wasn’t exactly sure what exactly I had to discuss with the wife of Miguel Galindo but she had a foothold in this town that I didn’t have yet and maybe we could work together on something to make things better. I hoped my connections paired with the force of the Galindos could boost us both into legitimate business.

“Hello?” her voice sounded confused when she answered. I suppose my own would be if I got a call from some strange woman.

“Sorry to bother you, Mrs. Galindo, we haven’t met officially but I do have some business dealings with your husband and was seeing if you needed any assistance with some more humanitarian businesses,” I state.

“I’m sorry, who is this?” she asked. 

“I keep missing introductions,” I smile into the phone, “I’m Nova O’Shay, I’d be more than happy to discuss this in person,” I take note of the time, “Lunch?”

“I have some time free in about an hour,” she responds, “I’ll text you the restaurant.” 

---

I pull my SUV to a stop outside the restaurant. Swankier place that the ones I’d dined at since coming to Santo Padre. I tried to picture Bishop and his Mayans pushing their way through the doors. All eyes would be on them.  I can’t help but smile at the thought. 

I never saw Emily Galindo before in my life but I knew her when I saw her. She was exactly what I’d pictured a trophy wife to look like. But she had a subtle spark. If we worked together we may ignite that into a roaring flame. She seemed to know me as well.

“Thank you for meeting,” I stated after our orders were taken. “I can see you’re a little like me. You love your man, but you want a piece of the world that’s yours by right and not his?” 

She nods listening, “You could say that.”

“I’ve got my fingers in my father’s businesses, also helping Bishop with some club business, but I want something that’s separate from that.”

“I get that,” Emily responded, “that’s why I’ve been working so hard on an agricultural development with the city. Should find out about the bids in the next few days. If you’d be willing to step in, it can be something I can do without Miguel.”

“I would be willing, I have contractor connections here and abroad,” I respond, “we can get this town thriving. It’s the least I can do to give back to the town that took me in and saved me when I needed saving.” 

“Then it’s a deal?” she replied. 

“I’ll call the lawyers and get the papers drawn up,” I cut into my chicken, “this is good. I’ve never eaten here before. But I’ve only been in Santo Padre for about a year. Came just before the fires.”

“The fires took so much from the town, the agra park deal is something we can do to build it back again,” she responded, “I think we can do something great here.”

“We can,” I respond, reaching for the check after it’s left, “I got it.”  I pay the bill and walk with her outside. “We’ll talk soon, Mrs. Galindo.”

“Please call me Emily,” she says, “Mrs. Galindo is my mother in law.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I offer a smile and slide behind the wheel of my SUV. 

I want nothing more than to see Bishop. Have his arms wrapped around me. I laughed at myself while pulling to a stop in the scrap yard, we had been apart for a few hours and I was already missing him. I had it bad. 

Their bikes were gone. I narrowed my brows and walked up the steps into the clubhouse. Letty, Coco’s daughter, sat at a table with another girl I’d never seen before. She didn’t look like any of the girls that hung around the club house. 

“Where is everyone?” I take a seat at the table with them. “I’ve never seen the clubhouse so empty in the middle of the day.” 

“That story is long as fuck,” Letty said with a chuckle, “This is Gabby. Her family just came over, used a coyote. Another club is trying to scam her family out of money. The Mayans are taking care of it.”

“Nice to meet you,” I should have given her a smile, but worry was eating at the pit of my stomach, “How long have they been gone?” 

“Seems like forever,” she replied. “Should be back soon.”  

I perk up hearing the revving of Harley’s coming through the gate.  I follow behind the girls feeling the weight of my fear lifted when Bishop climbs up the steps. His face covered in dirt and grime and the stench of smoke clung to his leather vest. There was a weariness that mirrored back from his dark eyes,“I’m ok, querida.” I cup his face in my hands analyzing every inch. Satisfied he’s unharmed I turn to see that Gabby has found her family.  

I realized at that moment Bishop was my family now.  If anything happened to him, I’d lose a part of myself. “As long as you were careful.” I press my lips to his. 

“Always am,” he drapes his arm around my shoulders as he leads me back in the clubhouse. His smile didn’t seem genuine. Like he had a weight on him. 

“You wanna talk about it?” I search his face for answers. 

“It was fucked up shit,” he says softly, “it’s over now.” I give a nod. I didn’t quite believe him but I wouldn’t press it. He’d tell me if he could. Or when he was ready. 

The sun dipped in the sky as we set down at the bar. My hand massages his thigh as he takes shot after shot. “You know what you're getting yourself into there, querida?” he smirks glancing down at his lap then back up at me. 

“Uh huh,” I say softly as I trace the length of him through his jeans. His eyes dark from as he leans over lips dancing over my ear, “You know I still can’t have you grabbing my dick in front of my guys,” his fingers tangle in my hair, “let me take you home.” 

“It’s still early,” I whisper back, “but I do want you to take me. Meet me in the dorm?” 

“Sweetheart,” he chuckles taking my hand, “there’s no need to be stealth, we go back there everyone knows what we’re doing anyway.” I feel my cheeks flush and let him lead me down the hall. The moment the door closes behind me, his lips crash down on mine. I wrap my arms around him eager to feel every inch of him pressing against me. I moaned into the kiss at just the feel of his hand on my bare flesh as he inches my shirt up higher. Reluctantly breaking the kiss so he can tug it up over my head. He leads me backwards to the bed. 

“Bishop, please,” I moan loudly as I feel his thickness grinding into me. My fingers fumble with his belt and lift my hips so that he can tug my jeans down.  I let out a groan as he pushed himself deep inside me. 

“That what you wanted, hermosa?” he growled in my ear. He pulled back, hooked my legs over his arms before driving hard and deep inside me. “Yes,” I whimpered. Echoes of my moans and the sound of our bodies slapping together fill the room.  My walls vice around him as my orgasm washes over me, milking him as he chases his own. 

A satisfied smile stretches across my face as we emerge from the dorm. My fingers laced with Bishop’s as we headed back to the bar. 

“Bishop, please,” Angel mocks from behind me.  And my face turns a bright red. 

[shireness-says]

The Set-Up Scam

Summary: They’ve always been friends first and foremost - Emma and Killian, Killian and Emma - until suddenly, they’re something a little more too. But with a $600 betting pool on the line about when they’ll actually get together - well, maybe there’s incentive to keep the good news a secret. ~5.5k. Rated T for language. Also on Ao3. 

~~~~~

A/N: Merry Christmas, @nevertothethird! I was delighted to be your pair for @cssecretsanta2020. It’s been wonderful chatting with you, and I look forward to a full stalking. ;)

You said you liked secret dating, friends to lovers, and characters being forced to work together - so I, like a fool, tried to include all three. I hope you like the result!

Special thanks, as always, to my beta, @snidgetsafan - the greatest treasure under any tree.

Tagging: @ohmightydevviepuu, @welllpthisishappening, @thisonesatellite, @let-it-raines, @kmomof4, @scientificapricot, @thejollyroger-writer, @superchocovian, @teamhook, @optomisticgirl, @winterbaby89, @searchingwardrobes, @katie-dub, @snowbellewells, @spartanguard, @phiralovesloki, @profdanglaisstuff

Enjoy - and let me know what you think!

~~~~~

They’re friends, first and foremost. Best friends, really - Killian and Emma, Emma and Killian. Partners in crime and two peas in a pod and every other cliché there is (and Killian would definitely know all of them). It’s been that way since the very beginning, when Killian let her peek at his attendance quiz answers in that awful intro to astronomy class in college. Their relationship had grown from there: late nights in the library and each others’ dorm rooms, studying or watching movies or chatting, all the way through graduation and eventually grad school. They get each other in a way that usually doesn’t happen for Emma, both coming from rough backgrounds and determined to make the world a better place because of it. Hell, they even work together now at Misthaven County Middle School - Killian as an English teacher, and Emma as a guidance counselor. 

And all that time, it’s been strictly platonic. 

It’s not like Emma hasn’t looked. He’s an objectively good looking man, and smart and sweet and funny. But he’d been in some “it’s complicated” situation with a grad student when they’d met, and then Emma was in that weird period where she and Graham gave it a shot, and by the time they were both available… well, by that time, they’d been Emma and Killian. Killian and Emma. A collective, a pair, absolutely entwined every way but romantically. He’d become her person, and it wasn’t worth risking that. There was no guarantee a romantic relationship would work out, anyways - or that Killian felt the attraction too. 

The thing, though, is that they’re Emma and Killian. Killian and Emma. Always together, always in each other’s stories, two birds of a feather. People constantly think that they’re together - or should be.

Emma doesn’t really mind, most of the time. She and Killian usually think it’s pretty funny, trading stories back and forth on his or her couch. Where it gets annoying is when each and every one of their friends are determined they should be dating. It’s been years of meaningful looks and hints about “so why aren’t you seeing anyone, Emma?” - but the last straw is the stupid, stupid bet.

“I just don’ unnerstand why you and Killian aren’t a couple!” slurs Mary Margaret, assistant principal and friend, at her yearly end-of-summer bash. “You’re ovviously in loooooooooove.”

“Sure we are, Mary Margaret,” Emma placates. 

“But why haven’t you yet?” she demands. “You made me lose the pool!”

That draws Emma up short. “I’m sorry, what?”

The little pixie-haired brunette frowns. “Don’t you know? We’ve had a betting pool going for ages about when you’d get together this year. I thought for sure it’d be the Fourth of July.”

It’s a good guess, actually - Ruby throws a famously boozy bash every year at her grandmother’s diner, conveniently situated right below the inn. It’d make sense for them to get drunk and take things upstairs - except for the fact that none of this is rooted in sense in any way, shape, or form.

“That obviously didn’t happen,” Mary Margaret frowns sorrowfully, staring down into her plastic cup full of god-knows-what. It doesn’t last long, though, as she perks right back up. “But they let me make a new guess! I’ve got my money on the Friday after your birthday.”

“How much money are we talking here?” Emma can’t help but ask. It’s like a compulsion, one she doesn’t like or understand. 

“Five hundred and fifty dollars.” At least that’s what she thinks Mary Margaret says; the slurring gets particularly bad on the f-sounds. It’s an astounding sum. Truly stupid.

Kind of tempting.

“And everyone bet that it would happen this year?” she makes sure to clarify.

“Yup!” Mary Margaret pops the p-sound and then giggles to herself about the noise. 

“Then I’m putting fifty dollars on it not happening this year. That Killian and I won’t get together.”

———

She means it at the time, too. Because yeah, there’s sometimes that niggling little what if?, but they’ve known each other for eight years. Emma and Killian. Killian and Emma. It’s not going to happen - honestly she’s not even sure she would want it to.

Until. 

It��s not the Friday after her birthday, when they’re all going to hit the bar, but it’s the night before her birthday - a Tuesday. Killian comes over to grade vocab quizzes and eat greasy pizza, and stays to drink beer and watch stupid baking shows with her on the couch. Honestly, in so many ways, it’s a night like any other: two friends, just enjoying each other’s company.

Until.

Maybe it’s the beers. Maybe something’s been building for longer than she ever thought. Maybe it’s just that they’re both feeling good and, well, it is her birthday. But Killian kisses her - or she kisses Killian - they kiss each other and it’s like something slots into place. Like of course this was going to happen - they were just waiting for the perfect moment. It makes sense, in a way that Emma hasn’t let herself think about; he’s the person she trusts most, the best man she knows, probably the most important person in her life. Her best friend - and, probably, something more.

“That was…” he gasps, some indeterminable amount of time later. Somehow, he’s wound up on top of her on the couch - not that she’s complaining.

“Only the beginning,” Emma completes, smirking in a way she definitely picked up from him. 

Now that this has started, she has no intention of stopping. 

———

“Ok, don’t kill me - or, like, run away immediately - but I need a favor. A huge one,” Emma says much later, both of them naked and sated beneath her sheets.

Killian laughs beside her, peering up from the pillows with a smile. “After that, darling, I’m predisposed to give you just about anything you want.”

“And I’ll give it to you again,” she quips back, mostly to make him keep laughing. It works. “But seriously. Did you know that everyone’s got a bet going on us?”

That pops his head up. “I’m sorry, a bet? I… What? Who?”

“Seems like pretty much everyone. Ruby, Mary Margaret, David, Robin, Belle… I could go on and on. A six hundred dollar pool on when we get together.”

“Typical,” Killian mutters - though Emma catches a fond note in his tone. “Who’s the lucky winner, then?”

“Ok, this is where the favor comes in.” Hopefully this isn’t a breaking point for him; Emma would hate to have this taste of them, only to have it ripped away from her. “See, Mary Margaret told me about this when she got trashed at the back to school party, and I’d had a few too and was all hopped up on righteous fury or whatever, and I kind of… put fifty dollars in the pot that we wouldn’t get together this year at all.”

Killian stares at her for a moment, and Emma’s frankly scared that he’s going to get out of bed and go - but instead, he bursts into a near-hysterical cackle. “So you want to keep this a secret until the new year, so you can win the pot?”

Emma grins, knowing she must look like the cat that ate the canary (or however that weird-ass saying goes - again, English is Killian’s thing). “Exactly. We could spend it on a weekend getaway or something.”

“I’m in, then. Under the radar.”

“It’s just two months and change,” Emma says. “It’ll speed by. How hard can it be?”

———

Turns out - their friends are determined to make it as hard as possible. Even if they don’t know it.

Things are fine, at first. In fact, nothing really changes: Emma and Killian still show up at each others’ doors most nights, and Killian comes to hang out and grade papers in her office during his free periods most days. It’s just that their evenings are now filled with kisses and touches, and those afternoons in her office with all kinds of promises of things to come. It’s thrilling, in a way, to put on the front of normality for everyone else while only they know the truth. It’s nice, too, to be able to get their feet underneath them in this relationship without so many prying eyes watching them figure it all out. 

Just because they don’t know, though, doesn’t mean their friends stop trying. There’s a bet on the line, after all, and their friends have never exactly been ones to step back and let things naturally run their course. Not for those busybodies; not with six hundred dollars and Emma and Killian’s supposed happiness on the line.

(The fact that they’re right - that the two of them really are happiest together - is irrelevant.)

David, of all people, is the first to start meddling.

“Do you guys want to get dinner?” he asks out of the blue one day - calls Emma up on her phone and everything. “You and Killian and me and Mary Margaret, I mean.”

Emma’s antenna raises immediately. “What, like a double date? C’mon, David —”

“No! No,” he says hastily - a little too hastily, Emma thinks. “No, a cousin of mine - Kris, you’ve met him - he’s opening up his own restaurant. Some place with Scandinavian food, I guess?”

“That’s actually a thing?” 

“I guess. I don’t know, he studied abroad in Norway in college. Anyways, he could use a little business, support or whatever, so Mary Margaret and I figured we’d bring some extra people along. You know, help him out. And maybe Scandinavian food is good after all.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

The line sits silent for a moment, before David breaks. “So… you in?”

And as much as Emma suspects this is all some elaborate set-up - well, it’s supposed to be to help someone else. David’s cousin, who she has in fact met and is really a good guy. And so she reluctantly agrees. “Yeah, I’m in. One of us will have to check with Killian if he’s available —”

“What, he’s not right there with you?”

(He is, his lips kiss-swollen and pulled into a delicious smirk, but that’s not the point and none of David’s business.)

“ — but yeah, I’m down.”

In the week between the call and the dinner, Emma actually finds herself starting to look forward to it. Yeah, it won’t be a real date - not with David and Mary Margaret there - but it’s still a chance to wear a pretty dress that’ll make Killian’s eyes bug a little. She’ll have to pick something he’ll have fun taking off of her later, once they’ve pretended to go back to their own homes. 

Emma’s just pulling into the parking lot, however, when her phone rings, David’s name popping up on the screen. 

“We’re not going to make it tonight,” he says without preamble, followed by the most fake-ass cough Emma’s ever heard in her life. “We’re sick.”

“Yeah, sick off your own lies,” Emma mutters. “Alright, well, I guess we’ll go another time —”

“Oh no, I insist you guys still have dinner. You and Killian deserve to have a night off!”

“David, c’mon, don’t play dumb —”

He ignores her. “Besides, you’ll be doing me - and Kris - a huge favor. I already told him to charge whatever you guys get to me. Splurge a little, have dessert and a bottle of wine. It’s all on me.”

Killian climbs out of his own car as David pleads his case, cocking his head in confusion at the no doubt frustrated look on Emma’s face. He looks like he wants to kiss it better; Emma wishes he could actually do so.

“Fine,” she caves. “If you’re sure. But I’m running up the bill.”

“You say that like it’s a surprise.”

Emma takes particular glee in ending the call. She should have seen this coming. “Looks like David has come down with a possibly fatal cough, so he and Mary Margaret aren’t coming tonight,” she tells Killian, rolling her eyes. No need to resist that particular urge.

He snorts. “Ah, liar-itis. I thought he might be coming down with a case.”

“Complicated by meddler’s cough. Don’t forget that.”

“Of course not.” He dips down to capture her lips in a gentle, lingering kiss - another urge they don’t have to resist with none of their friends around to see it. “You look lovely tonight, Swan.”

She smirks back. “I know.”

“Of course you do,” he laughs. “I’m sure you wore that just to torment me through dinner. Now, shall we?”

“We shall.” Emma slips her hand through his offered arm. “Dinner’s on David, by the way.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

———

“So, how was dinner?” David asks the next day, his cough mysteriously cleared up. 

“Good,” Emma replies, knowing exactly what he’s digging for. “Your cousin’s got a good lingonberry cheesecake. Don’t worry, Killian and I totally ran up the bill. Kris has been well supported. You’re welcome.”

“And?” he demands.

Emma makes sure to play up her confusion. “And… what? It was a great dinner, might even go back if I ever have a date, and then I went home. Honestly, what did you expect to happen, David?”

Even through the phone, she can almost hear him audibly deflate. Something like a sigh, or perhaps the sound of his entire plan collapsing in on itself. Personally, Emma thinks it’s hilarious.

(It’s especially funny when she vividly remembers the way Killian had stripped her out of that dress, can still feel the scratch of his beard on her inner thighs.)

(But again - those are things that David doesn’t need to know.)

———

The set-ups multiply like rabbits, and Emma starts to notice her and Killian being forced into more and more situations together, just the two of them. Fuck only knows why they think these clumsy attempts will work; after all, Emma and Killian held out for 8 years of each other’s company before finally getting together (without anyone’s help, she might add). Still, 

Trivia night is a weekly tradition for them all, down at the Rabbit Hole. Some weeks, the turnout is good; sometimes, not so much. They usually meet up at someone’s house and carpool from there because there’s not a ton of parking spots outside the bar, and it’s always worked well - two, maybe three cars instead of a half dozen or more. It’s a good time, and Emma always finds herself looking forward to Thursdays. 

Tonight, they’ve met at Robin’s, Killian’s former roommate. It’s a good crowd tonight, too - Robin and his fiance Marian, Mary Margaret with David, Belle the librarian, Ruby and Mulan, even Graham and Lance and Tink. The gang’s all here, probably trying to let loose a bit before holiday obligations set in, and they’re raring to go - all twelve of them.

Emma hopes that it’s not planned - that there just happen to be two cars and then some worth of people here - but it’s more likely planned. Robin probably twisted their arms to come, just for this.

“Emma, would you mind checking the door one more time?” he calls as they congregate in the driveway. “I’m sure I locked it, but I’ve just got that niggling little feeling…”

“Sure, no problem.” And it isn’t - it’s checking the damn door. Except it’s actually winding down his stupidly picturesque front garden path to the front door, and then having to maneuver around the always-unlocked outer glass door to make sure that the real door is locked, and then maneuvering and winding and everything back… and by the time Emma makes it back, everyone’s already piled into Mary Margaret’s station wagon and Robin’s little SUV, even the middle seats everyone usually hates, leaving just the conniving man himself and Killian standing on the asphalt. 

“Sorry, looks like the two of you will be riding together,” Robin says, not seeming remotely sorry. “This is convenient anyways! I know how much time you two spend together, if you decide that it’s easier to crash together afterwards… it wouldn’t be a problem for the extra car to stay here overnight.”

“Oh, I’m sure it wouldn’t be,” Emma grumbles. “I don’t suppose you have any underlying motive here, do you Robin? Say, to the tune of six hundred dollars?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” he responds cheerily. “I just really, really want you to know that you can keep your options open. And, you know, other euphemistic things if the urge moves you.”

Asshole.

(Emma does not leave her car at Robin’s overnight - but that doesn’t stop Killian from meeting her at her place afterwards.

“This euphemistic enough for you, love?” he teases as Emma pulls at his shirt, trying to tug the cotton tee over his head.

“How’s this for a euphemism: fuck me.”

“That’s not exactly how that word works, Swan.”

“I could not possibly give fewer shits about semantics than I do right now, Killian, unless it somehow relates to you getting your pants off.”

Somehow, even in the midst of their frantic stripping, he manages to laugh. “As you wish.”

She’s always preferred straight talking anyways.)

———

“Thank god I found you both!” Mary Margaret declares, bursting into Emma’s office a little too dramatically for her tastes. Until now, she and Killian had been having a wonderful lunch together, but that’s obviously a thing of the past now. 

“That seems a little extreme for a Friday,” Killian comments mildly as he sets his cafeteria burger back down on the styrofoam tray. Personally, Emma thinks the cafeteria food is disgusting, but Killian’s got a real fondness for the cheeseburgers, and especially the french fries. No one’s perfect, she guesses. “What terrible impending tragedy can Emma or I save you from, Mary Margaret?”

“Kathryn’s father is in the hospital, so she and Fred can’t work their assigned booth at the Winter Carnival tomorrow.” Storybrooke County School District’s charity carnival is a tradition every winter - one Mary Margaret takes very seriously. Something that’s clearly about to come back and bite them all in the ass. “Would you two be able to cover tomorrow? You’d be doing me such a huge favor…”

Killian raises a single eyebrow as he turns to meet Emma’s eye - that eyebrow that always seems like a dare. “My schedule’s clear this weekend. Count me in. What do you say, Swan, think you can find room in your schedule to save Mary Margaret from the tragedy of all tragedies?”

Emma rolls her eyes at the way he’s putting it on thick, but truth be told, her only plans had been spending the day with Killian. Might as well. “Sure, what the hell,” she says, reaching for another bite of her microwave pizza. “I don’t have anything else going on.”

In retrospect, Emma realizes that Mary Margaret could have done something terrible with this - assigned them to the kissing booth or something. God, she hopes that there’s not a kissing booth at a middle school carnival, but it feels like just the kind of thing she’d pull. Thankfully, they’re set up at the ring toss game. It’s not strenuous in the least; they don’t even have to take money, just paper tickets. Really, the only questionable thing is that they’re crammed right together in the box formed between the booth walls and the counter and the table of bottles behind them. Maybe that’s something that would have bothered her a few weeks ago, back when they were Emma and Killian but not Emma and Killian. Now, it’s just an excuse to get right up in his space and enjoy all those little touches, right under everyone’s nose.

(Maybe, every time they have to duck under the counter to retrieve poorly-thrown rings, Killian takes the opportunity to steal a quick kiss while no one else can see. And maybe - just maybe - Emma uses those same opportunities to steal her own kisses right back.)

“Soooooo, how’s it going?” Mary Margaret chirps when she pops up out of nowhere mid-afternoon. It’s like she thinks she’ll find them making out in the middle of the carnival or something. Which… fair. The urge is there. But they’re professionals - and Emma wants that money, dammit. She’s not caving here.

“Just fine, Mare,” Emma replies. “Nothing worth reporting.”

“There’s not? You two are looking awfully cozy in there… nothing to report?”

“Well, you’re the one who set up the booths, so…”

“Aye, just making the best of it,” Killian helpfully adds.

Emma almost feels guilty about the way that Mary Margaret visibly deflates.

“You know this was another ridiculous set-up, right, love?” Killian asks once their friend has walked away. “She probably never even needed our help. It was all a ploy.”

“I see it now,” Emma sighs. “I had just weirdly hoped she’d be above all that bullshit.”

Killian quirks that eyebrow yet again. “Mary Margaret? Infamous meddler? Of course not. It’s cute that you thought that though, darling.”

“Oh, shut up.”

(“Mary Margaret told me to take the weekend off, that they’d over-scheduled,” Kathryn tells Emma later when she tries to ask how the other woman’s father is doing. “Was that not the case?”)

(Fucking figures.)

———

Ruby, frankly, is not a surprise. In fact, if there was one person Emma would figure would be pulling this bullshit, it’s Ruby. The girl’s too competitive for her own damn good - not to mention that mile-wide chaotic streak running through her soul.

“Pucker up!” she crows, thrusting what Emma assumes is a sprig of mistletoe over her and Killian’s heads. They’re at Ruby and Mulan’s place for… some party; it’s probably, maybe holiday themed, but Ruby’s never needed an excuse to throw a party. Anything to get them all drunk and laughing and forgetting about the stresses of the week.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Emma demands. “Ruby, don’t be stupid. This isn’t college anymore.”

“Oh, like we ever did this in college,” Ruby scoffs with that devious twinkle in her eye. “Besides, college shenanigans are a state of mind. And I’m not giving that up. Now c’mon, no weaseling out of this.”

“It is the rules,” Mulan points out, appearing to slip her arm around Ruby’s waist and drop an affectionate - if slightly tipsy - kiss on her shoulder.

“Yeah, you hear that? Smart half says it’s the rules. So go ahead and pucker up and kiss him. And then go make out for a while and maybe bone each other so I can win the pool.”

Killian blushes a little bit at the phrasing - something that’s surprisingly cute on him, knowing how often he usually tosses around the innuendoes and exactly how dirty a mouth he has when they’re alone. Before Emma knows what he’s doing, he leans in to press a gentle kiss to her cheek, and then another, smacking one for good measure. “Who are we to deny the great, determined Ruby Lucas?” he proclaims grandly. “One kiss: delivered.”

Ruby’s face gets a bit mutinous; it’s the only word for that particular storm cloud, really. “No it isn’t! That’s cheating!”

“Eh. Technically, it was a kiss.” God bless Mulan for being the only one willing to go against Ruby when she’s got a plan; perks of being the girlfriend, Emma supposes. 

“And more importantly, Rubes, that’s all you’re going to get from us.” And that’s Emma’s last word on the subject.

(“Happy Christmas, darling,” Killian whispers into her neck later once they’re back at her place, dangling his own sprig of mistletoe over their heads. “How about it? C’mon, give us a kiss.”

Emma is more than happy to comply.)

———

Emma wouldn’t say it’s common for her to get calls from the school librarian, Belle, but it’s not unusual either. So when Belle calls her up in mid-December, shortly before Christmas break, Emma doesn’t think twice about it.

“The new Scholastic catalogs are here,” Belle informs her. “I haven’t started sending them to classrooms yet, but if you want to take a look now…”

“I’ll be right there.” Yes, the catalogs are full of books for middle school students, but Emma still loves those things. They’re chock-full of nostalgia.

“I haven’t even taken them out of the box yet,” Belle explains when Emma meets her at the check-out desk. “They’re all still in the back room. Here, I’ll let you in.”

That should have been Emma’s clue here. Why would a box of new catalogs, just arrived in the mail, already be shoved into the storage closet? But Emma’s too excited about the prospect of those newsprint magazines to think about it. By the time Emma realizes there’s nothing in this little closet but printer paper and old yearbooks… Belle’s already closed and locked the door, trapping Emma inside. 

So it’s yet another set up, most likely. It’s a good thing she’s not claustrophobic, at least.

Sure enough, not five minutes later, Emma can hear Killian’s voice outside the door. 

“How many boxes did you say it was, Belle? I’m happy to help haul, but I’m just wondering if we should get a hand cart to assist.”

“Oh no, I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Belle’s voice responds. “Just a few trips for each of us. Right in here…”

And suddenly, Killian’s in the cramped little closet too, and the door is shut and latched behind them. Gee, what a surprise.

“Fancy meeting you here,” Emma comments dryly. Somehow, probably on some kind of ridiculous romantic instinct, Killian’s hands have already found their way to her hips. It’s nice, really, ignoring the circumstances.

His face is adorably confused, looking around the room and back to the door and then to Emma’s own face and all over again. “Did she just lock us in here?”

“Yeah, keep up, Jones,” Emma teases. “I assume another stupid set-up effort.”

That makes the confusion disperse alright, a smirk full of promise creeping across his face instead. “If that’s the case… we’ll just have to make the most of it.”

“Oh no you don’t,” she warns. “There’s a camera in here.”

“So? It’s not like she’s watching the monitors.”

“So, Belle recently started dating Will Scarlet in IT. You want to take the chance she locked us in here, and forgot to have her boyfriend monitor us?”

“Fuck,” Killian swears, dropping his head back in dramatic emphasis. “They’re really going overboard, aren’t they?”

“I’ll make it up to you later. I promise.”

Thirty minutes later, when Emma and Killian have done nothing but talk and try to find some little extra space in the crowded closet, Belle finally lets them out, just in time for the end of Killian’s free period.

“I’m sure you have no idea how that happened,” he comments, sarcasm dripping from every word.

“It’s just the weirdest thing,” Belle agrees.

Well, that’s one way of putting it.

(Emma makes it up to him, several times over, at her place that night, with a take-out pizza to boot.)

———

After what feels like an eternity, it’s finally here: New Year’s Eve. As long as they make it to midnight and the new year proper without anyone finding out, this whole ridiculous farce is over, and they can be the couple they’ve technically already been since October. Emma and Killian, Killian and Emma - but more than they had been before. 

They’d spent Christmas together - not that that was anything unusual. With everyone else going to visit family, the two of them often spend the day together, eating take-out Chinese and watching holiday movies. Killian’s got a brother back in England that he makes sure to call, and some years Liam will fly over, but Killian usually saves his visits for summer vacation, when he can stay in whatever little English hamlet his brother calls home for weeks at a time. There’s always something nice about spending the holidays together, just the two of them, but it was extra special this year. Who knew Emma was the kind of girl who wanted to trade kisses under the Christmas tree between swapping gifts?

(Killian, apparently - but then again, he’s always claimed to know her better than she knows herself.)

“Just a few more hours,” he murmurs against her neck, twining his arms about her waist from behind as Emma carefully brushes on mascara. “Few more hours, and then it’s all in the open.”

“Thank god for that, too. After all the PDA we’ve gotten from certain people all these years, I’m looking forward to rubbing it in their faces a bit.”

They carpool to Mary Margaret and David’s, just like they do every year. It’s routine, really; Emma always crashes at Killian’s after the annual New Year’s Eve party so that someone is there to help her with the hangover in the morning. Killian makes better hashbrowns than anyone she knows - even Granny - and they always manage to pull her out of the worst of her misery. He’s good about taking care of her, too, with water and Advil and making sure to shut all the shades as tightly as possible. They even share a bed a lot of years; it’s just that tonight, Emma knows there will be a lot fewer clothes involved.

They drink. They eat. They mingle. Sometimes, they’re together, carefully not touching, and sometimes they drift apart. That’s how this party usually works, after all - and Emma is nothing if not committed to seeing this entire thing through, pretending nothing is different this year, that she and Killian definitely aren’t together. Nothing to see here, folks.

God, she’s so fucking lucky he didn’t cut and run once it became obvious just how much of a competitive lunatic Emma is.

Finally, though, it’s the moment - less than a minute left. Killian is already waiting for her by the patio doors, just like he promised. Emma is only too happy to wind her way over there, grinning when she finally finds herself in front of her boyfriend - about to be secret no longer. Behind them, the assembled drunken crowd loudly counts down the last seconds of the year. They keep their hands determinedly to themselves - just as agreed, so no one can try and claim anything happened before the strike of the new year - but Killian still looks at her with that twinkle in his eyes and wiggling eyebrows. It’s anticipation, and excitement, and a good bit of joy - knowing that soon, this will all be out in the open. No more keeping their hands to themselves. 

“You ready for this, love?” he says just loud enough for her to hear as the clock hits ten seconds. 

“Hell yeah,” she grins back - because she is. She so is. This has been a long time coming - years in the making, really - and you know what? The whole secrecy may have helped her wrap her head around the whole thing, as well as win her the pot, but she’s ready to take it public. Maybe rub it in everyone’s faces just how happy she is and how she did this on her own schedule. Why the hell not?

Cheers erupt all around them, and Emma’s grin stretches to something that almost hurts her face. Killian looks much the same. “Happy New Year, love,” he says, finally pulling her towards him by the hips. “I think it’ll be our best one yet.”

Fireworks are going on outside, lighting up the snow on the ground, but Emma can’t be bothered to pay attention - not when Killian attacks her lips with purpose, grinning happily into the kiss before she insistently deepens it, slipping her tongue into his mouth to play. It’s just another in a series of kisses, they know - but it’s more than that. It’s a display, in the best way, declaring them them.

Emma and Killian. Killian and Emma. A pair, a unit, a couple. 

“HA!” shrieks someone across the room as their make-out finally gains attention. Emma thinks it might be Ruby - though, at this point, it might be Mary Margaret. Maybe both. It’s definitely Ruby who materializes just as Emma and Killian finally break apart with a laugh. “It’s about fucking time!”

“Yeah,” Emma agrees - something that seems to short-circuit Ruby’s brain for a moment, if that look on her face is anything to go by. “It really was. And you know what else?”

Ruby shakes her head mutely, that twist of her eyebrows demonstrating that she’s still trying to get her bearings about what the fuck is happening here.

“It’s the new year. That pot is mine.”

“That’s my girl,” Killian whispers in her ear.

Best. New Year’s. Ever.

———

On January 1st of the new year, Emma and Killian - Killian and Emma - they, them, a pair, a unit, a couple take their six hundred dollars in winnings and treat themselves to a goddamn massive lunch at Granny’s. Together. In public. Because they deserve it. 

Grilled cheese has never tasted so good to Emma - especially the crumbs off the corners of Killian’s lips. 

[frenchly-anxious]

If James Bond was French, she would be a 54 years old woman working as a business coach, and there would be no movie because all the villains would be insanely bad at their job

Or: if we French people can’t make good spy/mercenary movies, it’s simply because our real spies/mercenaries absolutely suck.

Story time.

A few months ago, I stumbled upon the craziest news report of my life so far. It started small: an assassination attempt last July, just outside of Paris. Like, wow, that sucks, but okay. Yet as I’m watching the news, I realized they made a full documentary on that. Weird, I thought.

Except no, it made perfect sense to make a big deal out of it because seriously, that story just keeps on giving to the point I'm still waiting to be told it was a joke. Let me share this masterpiece.

The story starts unexpectedly with... a father driving his son to daycare. And as he’s driving, he spots a car haphazardly parked, with 2 men inside. As soon as he meets their eyes, they seem to panic: one feigns to sleep, while the other ducks forward to hide his face. They’re both dressed in black and are wearing gloves in the middle of July. The father drives on, stops a few streets away and call the police.

At this point, I was like “Who are those 2 buffoon? They reacted the way a child does when he knows he stayed up past his bedtime”.

The police arrived and searched them. They found out the car had fake license plates but more than that, they found a bag containing a loaded gun and its makeshift silencer, as well as 2 army knifes. The men were obviously arrested on the spot.

The police, expecting some kind of burglars, was in for quite the ride.

Very quickly, one of them started talking. He told the police he was a member of the DGSE (= kinda the French equivalent of CIA, in less popular), and they were on an official mission. In what I can only assume was an amazing show of self-control, an officer succeeded in not laughing out loud and instead asked him to elaborate. Which he did. He calmly explained they were on a mission to assassinate a woman who was actually working as a spy for Mossad.

I imagine the officers politely nodded as they were taking notes and then after leaving the room they started laughing hysterically while filing papers for a transfer to a psychiatric ward.

Except than when they checked, the 2 men were indeed working for the DGSE.

The what the fuck intensified, but not in the expected direction.

The police obviously turned to the woman they said they were about to assassinate. The victim indeed lived right where the DGSE agents were waiting. She was a successful “business coach”, living a quiet life and was absolutely not expecting to see police show up at her doorstep saying “hey, so, you basically almost got killed by two men waiting in front of your house, who had been following you for a few days and had also put a tracker on your car, and, well, they’re saying you’re actually working for Mossad. Can we come in?”

I can’t imagine how baffling that conversation must have been.

That 54 years old woman, Marie-Hélène Dini, had obviously no link with the Mossad. At all.

In this story of ridiculously bad mercenaries, the only one who acted correctly was her: after answering to the police, who probably told her “well that was unexpected. Better be extra careful from now on. Have a great day, ma’am!”, she turned off her phone, packed a few things and left her home, not telling anyone where she was going, and kept moving from place to place every couple of days to make sure no one could find her.

She was scared and confused, because who could want her dead?

The answer to that question is as baffling as the rest of the story: it was another “business coach”, who didn’t appreciated the fact she wanted to regulate their profession and thought the appropriate solution to that what to eliminate her.

But that’s not all! How did this guy found mercenaries to begin with? Well that’s easy: he had contacts because he was part of masonic lodge, just like our two stupid mercenaries.

Yes, freemasonry has entered the chat.

The story just shifted from mercenaries to secret organization.

One of the suspect, who was seriously talkative for a secret agent from a secret organization, explained they had other contracts like that. Only one resulted in an assassination so far: Laurent Pasquali, an ex-driver of the 24 Hours of Le Mans. He had indeed suddenly disappeared in 2018, his squeleton only found a year later without much clues of what had happened. Well, he apparently scammed the wrong sponsor, who decided to engage someone to bring back their money... and that someone apparently failed spectacularly because “the contract went wrong” and they killed him. Talk about going wrong.

The police linked a few other cases to these guys and a few of their “friends”: arson, violence, assassination attempts,...

All eyes obviously turned to the DGSE. Who went: “We can’t deny a few of those lunatics were working for us, but we don’t have ANYTHING to do with their mercenary/freemason job on the side!”

And if it looks like they’re not lying, it still isn’t very reassuring to see who is working for our foreign intelligence agency (granted, they were apparently just security guards for a DGSE site, but still)

So anyway. As I was saying:

James Bond isn’t French and there is a reason for that.

(because if she was, she would be a 54 years old woman working as a business coach, and there would be no movie because all the villains would be insanely bad at their job)

[miekasa]

the pre-pancetta snippet: early december, 3 months before the world went to shit

💉levi gets sick [levi grumbles in the background]

it was the pre-pandemic flu season. levi caught it at work and just his luck, it was pretty bad for him. but healthcare is expensive, capitalism sucks, so he wore a mask and still went to work the next day, thinking bedrest during the weekend would be enough. erwin kindly dropped off some sports drinks while hange gave him a new bag of black tea leaves. oc comes home to find him almost asleep at the table while waiting for water to boil for his tea and her senses tingle. she just knows. levi is pretty out of it by then, very pissed, feeling like shit, but still thinking about the slack he has to pick up at work. oc is very concerned because he looks awful. she bugs him and asks him if he’s okay with her checking him up. he is about to tell her to piss off but what the hell, lucky his roomie’s a doctor and he’ll take free healthcare when he can. so he nods once in dramatic brooding levi fashion.

her hands are cool on his forehead and neck, it feels so good, and levi is really trying not to accidentally moan out loud. when she brings out her stethoscope and asks him to take deep breaths, his focus is on her hand absentmindedly rubbing his shoulder [levi thoughts: he’s really out of it if this is all he can focus on]. oc’s brow furrows when she finds out he’s had only one cup of tea for the entire day and only one meal the day before. he says he’s brewing more, but oc is not having it! she heats up some leftover soup she has and makes him eat before handing him a tylenol. levi feels unsteady and weak but he’s trying to keep up the i’m-fine-it’s-just-the-flu facade. oc sees right through it and tails him to his room.

she helps him to bed, all while saying he’ll need meds for the virus and he needs to eat and drink more fluids because he’ll need an IV drip if not. even if it’s just the flu, he got a pretty bad case. levi strips off his shirt before he drops onto his pillows, grumpy and dismissive, telling her to just leave the prescription. he can handle it. oc snorts before leaving him alone (for now)

levi wakes up to rustling sounds and finds oc by his bedside setting up some stuff. his head is pounding, entire body is aching, and his cough is killing his throat. he’s very grumpy and is about to tell oc to just let him be but he gets a coughing fit. oc rubs his back while checking his vitals, her voice soft with worry as she asks him how he is feeling. he says he went to the bathroom but that’s it. he doesn’t see oc frown, but he’s more than annoyed that he is disturbed when she digs him out of the blankets. she helps him sit up, propping him on his pillows, and she makes him eat more soup, drink some tea, and take his meds. his throat is cooling and he realizes belatedly that she made him strong mint tea. he’s just swallowing whatever so he can go back to sleep [levi is trying very hard not to vocalize his disappointment whenever her hands leave him]. oc sighs at the little care her patient has for himself, but she tells him that he needs a drip at this point. she’s not satisfied with how little he’s been eating and drinking. levi is ready to throw hands because he refuses to spend thousands of dollars for 2 hours at the emergency room and get scammed by health insurance just so they can give him IV fluids, but oc surprises him by saying she’s all set up, and if he’s okay with it, she can do it here.

he shrugs and holds out his hand. the skin of her hands are a little rough with a few calluses, her touch so light and sure. the needle pinches but the pain dulls after a few seconds. he watches oc taping up the line and securing his hand to some makeshift splint so it doesn’t move around much. oc hangs up the bottle on the hanger she installed on the wall lamp by his bed before heading out. levi tries to fall back into sleep again. suddenly, he feels a damp cool cloth brush his forehead and his face while another hand runs through his hair gently. he’s groggy and he squirms because what. he hears oc shushing him, saying something about sponge baths for fever, and he’s just so not used to tenderness and care, and she’s sponging down his neck and his chest, running over his arms, turning him on his side gently so she doesn’t jostle him into wakefulness. her hands are firm and gentle as they wipe down his back and it’s cool and soothing and so good over his heated skin. he falls asleep in minutes. this never happens.

he thinks oc drops in once more in the middle of the night because he remembers someone holding him up to take something. when he wakes up the next morning, his fever is gone and he feels like himself again. he sees an empty bottle on his bedside table which means oc must have changed his drip too. the one he’s hooked to is almost gone. he’s in the middle of answering a work email on his phone when oc, already dressed for work, pops in to check on him. she has a tray in hand, looking genuinely relieved and happy that he’s better. his knows his appetite is back because the smell immediately makes his mouth water. he is very hungry after 3 days of soup and tea. she made really good pancakes, fried bacon to a perfect crisp, and the scrambled eggs are savory and creamy. it’s killing him. he can forgive the tea bag from a packet. levi is still a tea snob. oc is cheery, chirping that he’s good to go without a drip as long as he keeps up his food and fluids.

oc: water, tea, or pocari sweat, levi! none of the sugary sports drinks erwin left you, that stuff is a scam.

levi: i don’t have pocari—

oc: i bought you some, they’re in the drinks cupboard!

levi: why—

oc: it’s not just sugar, it has the electrolytes you need!!

she unhooks the IV and takes out his line, lays out his medication regimen and tells him to please call her if he starts feeling bad again. levi rolls his eyes and bats her concern away, grumbling that he’s fine and well enough, but he’s listening to every word she says. he utters a small thank you because how on earth does he convey his immense gratitude in words, he is not used to words!!! his cheeks feel very warm. oc giggles and ruffles his hair. she understands her roomie’s not talkative, but his soft gaze betrays everything beneath his gruff exterior. his shyness is adorable even if he was a grumpy old man while sick. oc thinks that her theory of him being 89 years old deep inside might be right after all. she sternly tells him to rest and lay off strenuous activities until he’s really recovered.

oc: rest. no cleaning today.

levi: my room—

oc: no. cleaning. today.

and just like that, she’s off to work [levi thoughts: wtf she works on sundays?]. all that levi can think of for three days, or more like since that day, are her gentle, comforting touches, her kind smiles, and how pretty she is. he tries, he really tries to push back the thoughts and bury the memories, but all efforts become in vain for him the next week.

he’s reading on the couch and relaxing for the night when oc comes out of her room looking like a fucking goddess. she’s in a deep green dress of flowing silk with thigh-high slit, sporting a dark, vibrant red lip, complaining of some recognition ceremony she has to attend for one of her bosses at work. she pouts while slipping on pumps that make her legs look even more stunning. levi is aware that he is staring and has tuned out her voice, so he forces himself out of it. he remembers basic conversation etiquette and lamely asks about the party. oc says it’s a black-tie-long-gown thing that’s a waste of her time. she twists her hair up in a messy bun and puts on earrings, grumbling that this is the most formal she’ll go. levi is mildly amused when she says she’ll nick a bottle of good champagne and some desserts before she escapes the party in an hour. tops.

levi: what if you get caught?

oc: they can spare one bottle and a few cupcakes

levi: and what reason have you come up with if they start interrogating you?

oc: my roommate is sad and a stress-eat is essential after shitty weeks of being underpaid laborers *cheeky smile*

he rolls his eyes. when she steps out their door (her uber’s there), levi counts to ten before groaning very loudly to let his frustrations out.

but she really did steal and bring home the good stuff, squealing in excitement when she sees that he was still up. he actually waited for her to get home but she doesn’t need to know that. they shared fruit tarts and fancy mini-cakes and worked through the bottle of champagne while bonding over their mutual disdain for assholes at work. conversation was open and easy, and levi cannot remember when he has been this comfortable around others who weren’t old friends of his. he was in an old shirt and jogger shorts. oc was still in her dress, barefoot, lipstick still perfect and bun still messy, picking a strawberry off the last cake while laughing at his dry jab about her boss. and jesus christ, she was exquisite.

at this point, denial begins to trickle in, but levi doesn’t know that yet. it’s just the champagne, right?

end. this was so mf long, i’m so sorry 😭 anyway this is insanely self-indulgent, and this is me coping with the pandemic (and with SnK ending today)

AHHHHHHH I LOVE ALL OF THIS ANON!!! SO MUCH!!!! PLEASE THIS HIT ALL THE MARKS!! Levi being reluctant to having someone take care of him, oc picking up on him not feeling well even though he’s not really showing it, and eventually just giving him the care and attention he needs (without suffocating him because you know he would be grumpy about that). I love this wow, seriously. 

AND THE END!! When they’re drinking together and he’s feeling better, you know damn well he didn’t even want her to leave in the first place, and IM SO GLAD HE’S FINALLY REALIZING!! Levi, my beloved, you are in love it is not the champagne 😌😌

[atruththatyoudeny]

Monthly Reads | September 2020

Happy 28th! All the love for all the authors in this fandom. Thank you for making my days better with your work! ♥ Here are all the fics I read and loved this month: 🍂 Remember Me Fondly | kiddle | enemies to friends to lovers - 1990s - historical - angst - humor - closets - 74k “You’ve told the beginning of the story so many times. I want to hear the end.” Louis laughed, scratching at his chin. “I can’t say I really know when the end happened.” “How about the tour of ninety-five?” “Alright.” Louis took a deep breath. “But it took a few steps to get there. What would you like to know?” Penny cleared her throat. “How did you first meet Harry Styles?” Grunge legends Fearless Doe topped the rock charts in the ‘90s, but they spent the decade kicking Smudge off their heels. From lawsuits to jaw-dropping scandals and a surprising joint world tour, the two bands share a complicated history. Twenty-five years later, frontmen Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles are finally ready to sit down and tell the world their two sides of the same story. Truth may vary.

🍂 you came into my life | disgruntledkittenface | Queer Eye AU - american AU - closeted character - Coming Out - pining - fluff - angst - implied/referenced homophobia - 57k They stand around talking for a minute and then Jonathan starts to ramble, “Has there ever been, like, an unrequited gay love story in here? Like a Brokeback Mountain moment where, like, someone just fell in love and they didn’t mean to?” Louis feels bile rise in his throat as Jonathan’s eyes sparkle, pleading for a yes. He manages to look around and see thoughtful looks on his coworkers’ faces before their heads shake no. “Not here,” Liam says finally. When the Queer Eye cast and crew sweep into Louis’ small town and fire station to make over his best friend and coworker Liam, Louis’ carefully constructed walls start to fall down and he has to face his fears – and the only guy he’s ever been able to see a future with.

🍂 Everything I need I get from you | jaerie | a/b/o - mpreg - strangers to lovers - emotional/ psychological abuse - sexism - unplanned pregnancy - 10k In a world where music and sound are just as vital to health as food, Harry is stuck in a town that thinks professional music is a scam and a relationship he never wanted. One chance event changes his life.

🍂 at last, at last | suspendrs | post-apocalypse - dystopia - cult - mentions of violence - mentions of death - homophobia - internalized homophobia - 41k “Come with us,” Tommo says, stopping at the other end of the gymnasium, near the doors. “Don’t let them make you suffer any longer. Come with us, and be human.” Before Harry has even finished thinking it through, he’s on his feet, gaining the attention of every single person in the gymnasium. What has he got to lose, anyway? Or, Harry is born into a cult in a post-apocalyptic world, and Louis is the leader of the rebel group tasked with the mission of shutting them down. Together, they make a rather effective team.

🍂 give me love | falsegoodnight and soldouthaz | a/b/o - past relationship trauma - past abusive relationship - slow burn - touch deprivation - touch starvation - nesting - angst - fluff - 41k Despite being an omega, Louis’ always had a blatant dislike of alphas. - Or, Louis doesn't feel like a good omega, Harry doesn't remember how to be an alpha, and they figure it out together.

🍂 You, Who Never Arrived | abrighteryellow | Only You AU - strangers to lovers - 90s AU - world travel - soulmates - fluff - angst - Fate & Destiny - 42k “That was him, Niall.” He claps a hand over a disbelieving laugh. “My soulmate – the person I’ve been waiting for since I was nine years old. That was him on the other end of the phone.” “But it can’t–” Niall stutters, unsure of what to do, how to put a stop to this. “That wasn’t real.” “Wasn’t it?” Louis rushes past him, zipping up his fly. He grabs a black denim jacket from a hook near the door. “Then who did I just talk to?” “Where are you going?” Niall demands as Louis pockets his keys and swings his front door open. “I just have to get a look at him. I just have to see, that’s all!” “You’re not serious. Louis, it’s already late.” “He’s at the airport. Fifteen years I’ve been expecting him around every corner, and now he’s half an hour away. I can’t just sit here.” “Bu–” “I’m not going to do anything crazy, I promise. I just–I have to see him. This is my chance. Maybe my only chance.” Louis Tomlinson is days away from marrying a perfectly nice podiatrist when he gets a phone call that changes everything. Or, the Only You AU in which Louis has a soulmate and it's definitely not Harry Styles.

🍂 Shall we sleep, my love? | givelourrylove | angst - emotional hurt/comfort - kid fic - 15k There is so much sincerity in Harry’s voice. So much that says you, Louis, I look forward to seeing you, you and your soft eyes and your petite body, just you, you, you, but Louis forces himself to ignore that. To gulp it down again, sizing up the lump that had formed beneath his lungs, possibly reappearing any time and choking him with everything he decided not to think about for the past year. or Louis loses his job as a teacher, has to move out and find somewhere to live. A certain someone named Harry offers his home to Louis and his son. Pining, crying and reading bedtime stories involved.

🍂 so much I could live for I could die | louisnights | dystopia - trans character - sexual harrassment - friends to lovers - strangers to friends to lovers - no smut - 15k “Sometimes I wonder what’s out there,” Louis confesses, tucking into his second biscuit. “I wonder if what they’re saying is true, about the Thieves, about the other compounds. Why are we not allowed to leave? Go to other compounds?” Lottie gets up, letting out a sigh as she squeezes his shoulder. “You shouldn’t think like that, Lou, it will get you killed.” “They can’t take away my thoughts,” Louis answers defiantly. Lottie pats his shoulder before she disappears to her room, closing the door behind her with a quiet click. or: Louis is a transgender man who escapes his compound after extenuating circumstances, and meets the Thieves, who show him what freedom really is.

🍂 A Road To Hope | he_wants_to_write | historical - World War II - 1940s - farm/ranch - PTSD - emotional hurt - hurt/comfort - angst - mental instability - internalized homophobia - 18k “We’re far from the people and their issues, don’t hold back. Please.” It’s true. They are far away from anything that could stop them, the middle of nowhere being the safest place on Earth for them to fall in love. The sacred land where sacred love is created. However, Louis is certain that even if they weren’t safe, he wouldn’t resist the sight of Harry, his pleading eyes, his warm skin beneath his touch. or In the heat of April, 1944, an escapee soldier lost in a dirt-road stumbles upon a small farm and finds himself recovering from the traumas of World War II in the simplicity of a frugal life, with the help of a little boy's innocent soul, and a farmer's hopeful green eyes.

🍂 With Love's Light Wings | 4ureyesonly28 and reminiscingintherain | Rome and Juliet AU - a/b/o - 1920s - marriage proposals - 12k Two households, both alike in dignity, / In fair London town, where we lay our scene... — Or something like that, anyway. On either side of the River Thames live Louis Montague and Harry Capulet, their noble packs entangled in a feud so old, nobody even remembers what caused it. As fate will have it, against all odds, they fall in love. Harder than the bricks that make up their families’ estates and faster than a Duesenberg car. AKA The 1920s ABO Romeo & Juliet AU that we desperately wanted to write.

🍂 The Very First Words of a Lifelong Love Letter | LiveLaughLoveLarry | first meetings - friends to lovers - weddings - no smut - 9.5k The prompt I picked was (lightly edited): "Harry and Louis have been best friends ever since they met through fandom (I picked Critical Role) twitter. Person A (I picked Louis) lives in New York City and Person B (Harry) lives in the UK. They’ve never met in person but they FaceTime and text daily. Person B’s cousin is getting married to a rich American who’s paying for the entire family to travel to The Hamptons for a summer wedding. Are Harry and Louis ready to meet?" ~*~ Harry thought he was just imagining things when the flower girl looked like one of the twins, but -- he’s almost certain that groomsman is Louis. The pictures he's seen haven't been the best quality, granted, but he knows Louis. He does. Harry stares wide-eyed as he walks down the aisle in step with the bridesmaid, taking their places on either side of the stage. As they turn to look out into the audience, Harry’s strong suspicion solidifies into certainty. That’s Louis. He’d bet his life on it. But Louis doesn’t look at him, and it’s not like Harry can wave. He can only stare, mouth still hanging half-open. Suddenly, as much as he loves weddings, he can’t wait for this one to be over.

🍂 promise you'll remember (when the sky is grey) | Anonymous | american AU - summer - 33k "Once you come to this town, you find that it's not so easy to leave," Niall spoke with a fond tone in his voice. "Canyon isn't a place that one leaves behind easily." "I guess we'll be able to test your theory come August," Harry spoke with a small grin, "because I'm set to leave on the twenty-ninth to get back to work in LA." Niall smirked back in reply, "I guess we will, but mark my words, you'll end up finding something to make you stay. We all did." Harry laughed, surprised at the man’s unwavering confidence in his statement. "We'll see." - a summer spent in small town Maine, filled with trips to the farmer’s market, lemonade tailgating, taylor swift, and falling in love at quite possibly the most inconvenient time ever (not necessarily in that order).

[shortprince-cos]

When You Fall, You Get Back Up

Summary: Patton finds himself on the forest floor, and he can't get up. Luckily, he finds someone who can help him.

Ship: Intruality

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, angst.

Warnings: Attempted suicide, impalement (only a bit), broken arm, IV, ambulance, child abuse. Tell me if I need to add anything else!

This fic is inspired by the musical Dear Evan Hansen, because I have a lot of feelings and couldn't help myself.

~~~~~

The forest looked beautiful from up so high.

Patton secured himself on a thick branch and took in the view. He had climbed about 2/3 of the way up the tree. He was so high up. If he fell, it would hurt. Bad. He should try not to fall.

But he ended up on the ground.

It didn't hurt immediately. He just lay there in shock for a couple of minutes. The fall happened so quickly, it was hard to even process that he hit the ground.

Until the shock wore off and the pain kicked in.

His entire left side hurt, that must have been the side he landed on. He felt like he couldn't catch his breath, like the air was taken from him.

The side of his head had something in it. His glasses. They must have broke and pierced his skin.

Patton gasped for air while so many tears traveled down his face. He was whimpering so much, he probably sounded like a hurt animal.

That actually is what he was. A hurt creature in the forest, calling and crying and sobbing for someone to help.

He tried to lift his left arm, but pain shot through him like a dagger going straight through his skin. Something impaled his arm.

He just kept whining. Hoping and calling and praying for someone to find him.

Just like that, Patton heard a voice. "Holy s**t! Are you ok?!" Apparently praying works sometimes.

Patton only squeaked in response. He couldn't even see who came to save him, his eyes were clouded with tears, it made everything blurry and wobbly.

"Oh my god! Your arm! That's so gross and cool! ...Sorry that's not cool right now. Um- do you have anyone you need to call before the ambulance gets here?"

Patton shook his head, but stopped when the pain of the glasses hit.

"Oh fu- that looks painful." The stranger was about to take the glasses off before he decided that the doctors should probably do that.

"Do you have a name?"

Patton opened his mouth, but only a whimper came out. Air was slowly coming back, but the tears were stubborn.

"Oh god- ok- um- the ambulance is on their way. Can- can you breathe ok?"

Patton nodded. It was only a small, lean down, kind of thing, but the kind stranger got the memo.

"Ok- um...do you mind if I take pictures? I'm a gore makeup artist for short films and s**t, and you don't see these kind of wounds everyday! They'll make really good reference pictures! Of-of course, only with your permission?"

Patton didn't understand what was so strange about his wounds -the thought that they were abnormal was a bit distressing- but he nodded anyway, giving the artist permission to take a photo.

Patton soon heard the wailing of sirens in the distance.

"Ok, the ambulance is here. How are you doing? Can you talk now?"

Patton's throat had a massive lump in it, but he somehow managed to speak a little.

"I-'m Pat-Patton."

"I'm Remus." The man- uh- Remus called over to the emergency team so that they could come and help.

Soon, he was put on a stretcher to be carried to the ambulance.

As he was put in the ambulance, the emergency nurses were discussing something about Patton's arm and head.

Remus ended up riding with him to the hospital. Patton didn't understand why he felt the need to, it certainly couldn't have been required.

"Ok, what's your name and age?" One of the nurses questioned while grabbing something.

"P-Patton Hart. Sevente-teen." Patton managed to get out.

"Ok, date of birth?" The nurse filled a container with a syringe with a clear liquid, some kind of medicine? Patton didn't know much about doctor stuff, so everything that was happening was confusing.

"January fifteenth, 2003."

Remus suddenly put his hand on Patton's shoulder, which meant something was about to happen. Patton didn't like any of this.

The nurse walked over to the right side of Patton, and cleaned a spot on the middle of his arm with an alcohol wipe.

"Ok, how did you break your arm?"

"I-" The nurse put the IV in. Patton hated needles. They scared him to death. Even thinking about getting shots could give him a panic attack.

Remus squeezed his shoulder a little harder. Soon, Patton felt so tired.

---

Patton's father did not like paying that hospital bill.

"How could you be so idiotic, that you fell out of a f**king tree? It was a tree, god d**n it!"

"I'm sorry, I-" His father slapped him across the face. Hard.

"You're lucky you still live here." And with that, Patton's father left him alone. For now.

Patton walked upstairs to his room and shut the door. He crawled under his bed covers, just hoping that he could sleep through the rest of his life.

'You can end it now.' Patton thought. 'All you have to do is get the pill bottle.'

He was about to get up until his phone rang. It was an unknown number, most likely a scam, but Patton answered anyway.

"Hello?" Patton tried to keep the wavering out of his voice.

"Hey, Patton? It's Remus! Ya know, the guy who found you earlier!"

"Oh! Hey! Why-why are you calling me?" Patton was a bit confused as to why Remus would even want to speak to him again, but he tried to put that in the back of his mind.

"I just wanted to see if you were alright. I mean- you did fall from a tree, that had to hurt!"

"I-I guess. I'm...I'm ok though."

"Good! Anyways, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime? You seem like a pretty cool person, so I thought 'ehh why not?'!"

"Uh- sure! That sounds like fun!"

"Cool! Talk to ya later?"

"Yeah. Bye!"

Is this how you make friends, or is Patton delirious from the pain medication?

---

Three months go by faster than you think.

It felt like yesterday when Patton fell to the ground.

"Patton? Can I talk to you?" Remus asked as they were watching TV.

They had movie nights pretty frequently. It was a fun pastime that they both looked forward to.

This week, they were in Remus' house, instead of going to an actual movie theater, but Remus was acting a little strangely this whole time. He seemed...nervous? Patton didn't understand, but now Remus was asking him to talk?

"Sure. What's up?" Patton asked wearily. Remus' question frightened him.

'This is it. He's done being my friend. He was just hanging out with me out of pity. But now he's bored and wants to go back to his own life.' Those were the thoughts running through Patton's mind.

"I-I just wanted to ask if you- well if you..." Remus pulled a beautiful silver locket out of his pocket. "If you...wanted to be my boyfriend?"

Patton was stunned.

"I-" Patton took in a shaky breath. He needed to tell Remus...but Remus would never stay if he told him the truth. He would leave, just like everyone else did when they found out.

...Maybe if this stopped now, it wouldn't hurt as much.

"Remus, I-" Patton sighed. "You can't date me."

Remus expression changed from nervous excitement, to confused sadness.

"W-What? Why not?"

"You don't want to be with me, I'm-" Patton stood up and took a deep breath before continuing. "You don't want to date someone who lies and deceives and fakes."

Remus tried to protest, but Patton left without another word, only tears on his face.

---

Patton had gotten his cast off a week ago. It had been at least two weeks since he rejected Remus.

Before long, Patton found himself back at the tree that he dropped from.

He looked up at how tall it was. He sighed before walking up to the trunk.

'Climb it.' Said the voice. The voice that was always in the back of Patton's head. It was louder now that Remus wasn't with him. Just like when he was here the first time.

Patton almost obliged, before he heard a voice from behind him.

"Patton? Why are you here?" Remus. Why did he have to come?

He always comes.

"I-I just-"

"What are...you doing?" Remus looked like he just solved some kind of puzzle. "You- that's-" Remus gasped a little. "You didn't fall."

"What? Of course I fell, how else would I have broken my arm?"

"No, I mean-" Remus took in a shaky breath. "You jumped, didn't you?"

Patton physically tensed at the words. "N-No. I- I didn't- couldn't-"

"Did you? Did you jump, or let go, or-or-"

"No! No- I-I didn't-" Patton tried to defend himself...but he didn't even know the truth.

Actually, he did. Deep down he did, he just didn't want to admit it.

"Patton! Why did you climb that tree?!"

"WHY DO YOU THINK? I DID IT TO DIE!" Patton screamed at Remus, hot tears running down his face.

Remus was shocked. He didn't know what to do knowing that-that Patton could have died.

"Is that the answer you wanted? Because yeah, I came here to die. But then, I-I fell and-and broke my arm. And now, I'm here, trying to-to do it again." Patton was shaking violently, hugging himself to try and stop the trembling, the tears still sliding down his face.

Remus basically ran to him. He took Patton in his arms and tried to calm him down.

Oh god. What now?

---

About a half hour later, Patton could breathe normally again.

Remus and Patton were sitting on the forest floor, Remus had Patton in his lap, almost cradling him.

"Patton?"

"'m sorry."

"It's..." Remus wanted to say that it was ok, but it wasn't. "What's done is done. All we can do now, is try to get better."

Patton buried himself into Remus' chest. "Ok."

"Patton?"

"Yeah?"

"You will get better, I promise."

"...How?" Patton's voice sounded so broken and hollow and empty.

"I'll help you. I'll make sure you do."

Patton shook his head. "You won't want to stay, nobody ever stays."

"I want to. I will. I promise." Remus ran his hands through Patton's hair, hoping to comfort him in some way.

Patton sobbed into Remus' shoulder. Cries that have been held in for way too long, sobs that Patton had buried deep inside himself.

After a while, Patton's sobs died down a little, he must have been too tired to keep crying.

"Patton?" Remus asked.

"Mm?" Patton was still hugging Remus, he was probably almost asleep. He seemed so tired.

"It might be a little early for this, but I love you."

Patton hugged him a little tighter. "I-I love you t-too."

~~~~~

Sorry for more angst, Hahaha I can't stop myself

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Reblogs are appreciated! 💖

[maisondenachtai]

I Like That (Part 3)

Title: I Like That Pairing: Erik X BlackFemale!Reader Previous Parts: Part 1, Part 2 summary: just uh....hide your purse aight? (author’s note: uh, ...so...um...it’s been a while right? very sorry about that but it’s here now and I already know how i’m ending it so that’s great. ...this part is written in erik’s pov cause that really helped me break the block i had on it. ...I hope you enjoy it. only one more part to go.) He knew he had fucked up. She wouldn’t even look at him and had scooted as close to her door as she possibly could. He mentally cursed himself and his ego. He wasn’t even sure why he had snapped at her so hard. What she said was fundamentally true and she had the right to speak on what she knew first hand, but it must have been the mixture of David, her being so mad at him, and the fact that her blow had hurt that had him acting up.

“Y/n, listen.”

“Erik, I said shut up.” She said looking down at her nails that were done in a french tip, something she had been doing since grade school. He remembered how her mom thought color was too ‘grown’ and that ‘young women should only have French tipped nails’. He remembered laughing at her nails in the car when she held them out for him to see, and then he remembered moaning as those same nails wrapped around him.

“I’m sorry, alright.” He sighed and rubbed his hand down his face.

“You’re always sorry Erik. It never helps anything. You’re a sorry ass nigga. So what?” She finally looked at him fury and sadness in her brown eyes.

He swallowed his anger at her name calling and looked out of the window to calm down, “Listen, I know you fucking hate me, and I don’t blame you. I treated you like shit in high school.”

“No, you treated me worst than shit. You dogged me, Erik. Do you know how it feels to be beaten down by the nigga you thought you were in love with? No you don’t because everybody loved you.” Her voice had raised, he could tell that she didn’t give a shit about the mixed company they were in.

“Y/n.”

“Don’t Y/n me. I’m going to say what I should have been said, Erik. You fucked me in private. Used me like a sex toy and in public I was your verbal punching bag. And you set the tone for everyone else in high school. High school was hell for me.”

“What was I supposed to do about it? I was a kid, Y/n. I really feel like you’re overestimating my influence.”

“You were supposed to stop it, not add on to it.”

“Well I’m sorry. I truly am. I wasn’t perfect back then and I’m not perfect now and all I can do now is apologize.”

She shook her head, wiping under her eyes quickly. “It was so long ago, and I haven’t thought about it in years. I stopped being your victim a long time ago Erik….it’s just this reunion has brought up so many memories.” She took a deep breath and exhaled looking at him again. “I’m sorry too. I’ve been acting like a child.”

“Yes you have.” He joked, laughing when she shot a scowl his way. “I’m kidding. I understand your anger. I really do. It’s not right how I treated you, and if any man treated my daughter like that I’d kill him with my bare hands.”

“Your daughter? You got a child?” She looked surprised.

He smirked, “What if I said I did? What would that mean?”

“That you still haven’t learned to use condoms.” She shook her head, running her hand through her hair. She looked surprised, as if that wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

He smirked to himself.“I’m kidding. No kids yet. …Ain’t found the right woman…” He looked down her seated frame, biting down on his lip as his gaze settled on her hips and the thigh that had poked out of the slit on the dress. “And the woman I want to have my babies don’t want me.”

She was pointedly ignoring his blatant staring, choosing instead to scroll through her phone. “Well maybe you’ll have luck at the reunion. Remember that girl Monica? She’s been asking the facebook group if you were coming.”

He rolled his eyes and sat back in his seat, “Don’t nobody want Monica. Her breath was stank.” She chuckled and the sound warmed his soul.

The best times he could remember in high school was of her and him chilling in his car outside of her house. She would sneak out the window because her mom didn’t allow boys in the house and honestly didn’t like him one bit but she would take the chances of being caught outside with him anyway.

They would sit and listen to the radio, singing along with their favorite songs, and roasting the bad songs. They would sling insults back and forth until they ended up not being able to speak from laughing so hard.                

In tough times, she would be a warm shoulder to lean on, saying nothing that might make him close up when he happened to cry. In reverse, he would be there times when her dad would flake on her again or forget her birthday, or when her mom was just being too restrictive.

It was those times he remembered, even more than the sex they shared, those times where she was his best friend. He missed that.

“Her breath did used to be a little tart.” She spoke back looking at him.

“A little? The girl used to exhale and burn off people’s eyebrows.”

She laughed then, fully, holding onto her stomach. “You’re mean.”

“I’m honest.” He looked out the window. They still had about twenty minutes until they made it to the reunion. “So, where did you meet David?”

She looked at him and shook her head. “Uh uh.”

“Uh uh? What do you mean uh uh?”

“You are not fixin to clown my man, okay? No. I’m not letting it happen.”

“Ain’t nobody about to clown your man. …I mean I didn’t know you liked light skinned men but-

“See you’re already clowning him.”

He shook his head, “No, I was just joking. Seriously, tell me I want to know.”

She rolled her eyes, “Well if you must know, we met at a conference in Arizona.”

“So he’s in business?”

“No, tech actually. He was at the conference networking. At the time he was trying to startup this app, Nozzle. It’s a app that-

“I know about Nozzle.” Erik actually knew Nozzle pretty well seeing as he had invested some money in the startup a while back trying to get his portfolio up.

However, he didn’t remember seeing David’s name in the business plan. “So, he’s still working with Nozzle then?”

“Nah, they ousted him. He had a completely different vision than the other two men and they decided to part ways amicably.  He’s actually working on a festival idea, kind of like a black Coachella but not like Afropunk or anything. That’s why he’s not here right now. He had a meeting to attend with some investors.”

Erik couldn’t help but smirk, “A festival?”

“Don’t even-“

“I bet its going to be lit. …Straight…Fyre.”

“I’m not talking to you anymore.” She looked out of the window folding her arms again.

“Wait, wait. I’m just kidding.” He pulled one of her arms down, so she wouldn’t close up on him again. “Seriously though, he does know a new festival right now, it’s not the move.”

She sighed, “It’s legit though and he has a good plan for it. Nothing too extravagant. I’ve been working it out with him, setting up meetings for him.”

“Setting up meetings for him? You a secretary now?”

“Nah, I’m a good girlfriend. Why shouldn’t I help him if I can?”

Erik looked at her and then shrugged, “I mean, I guess. But…just don’t put none of your money in it.” When she didn’t say anything, he sighed. “How much?”

It was her turn to rub the back of her neck, “Uh…just 50,000 dollars.”

“50,000 dollars?”

“We got a loan, so he could have the capital to start moving stuff and showing investors he wasn’t coming in empty handed.”

“Oh my god, Y/n. The whole reason you get investors is so that you don’t have to get loans like that or at least so you can pay off the damn loan. How much has he paid off.”

“10,000.”

“Oh my godddd.” Erik wanted to die. He wanted to strangle Y/n, in the most loving way, for being so stupid and then he wanted to kill David. “He’s fucking scamming you and probably everyone else he’s talked to. Why did he get ousted from Nozzle?”

“I told you because they had different visions-“

“Nah, that’s what that nigga told you.” He pulled out his phone. “Send me a picture of him.”

“Why?” Erik rolled his eyes and tried hard not to snap at her, “Don’t argue with me right now. Send me a picture.” When she pulled out her phone he sighed.

“This nigga is running your name into the ground and you probably don’t even know it.”

“He’s legit Erik.” The airdrop notification came up on his phone and he accepted it, getting a fairly clear picture of David.

“We’ll see.” He pulled up an app that allowed him to search FBI databases, search engines, wanted ads, and many more places by picture and name.

“What’s his name?”

“David Johnson.” She had moved closer trying to see what he was doing on his phone. “Are you doing a background check on him?”

“Nah, but you should have.” He hit search and the app began trying to match David’s photo and name to anything they could.

“I can’t believe this. You’re so fucking smart, Y/n. You graduated summa cum lade and you’re nearly running that firm you’re at. I can’t believe that you can’t smell a scammer from a mile away.”

“How do you know all of that?”               

                     Before he could answer his phone dinged, he smirked pressing the article that came up. David Johnson was Gregory Malcolm, the man who was caught misappropriating funds from Nozzle. Who was still wanted by authorities in California, New York, and Georgia.

“Is David’s middle name Joanne?” He started looking down at the picture of David being escorted out of a building in handcuffs.

“No…why?”

“Cause your man’s a fucking scammer.”

---------------------------------------------------------

(author’s note: just

and I hope that this part was not a total let down.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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@chaneajoyyy​ @ raysunshine78   fuckmegoodbruhh ghostfacekill-monger  mellifluousbabe  browngirldominion

(i probably didn’t tag half the people that wanted to be tagged. sorry about that!)

[purplesurveys]

1280

What can you hear right now?: Just the sound of my fan directed at me.

Have you ever had a walking taco?: I looked this up just in case I happen to know about it, but no I’m not familiar at all.

Are you watching anything on Netflix?: I’m in the middle of a Korean drama called Hometown Cha Cha Cha but I never have the time to watch it; I’m currently stuck at the second episode. :( I’ve also been eyeing Squid Game but I’ll probably get to it once the hype dies down because the literal entire Philippine population is watching that series rn lol.

Do you have a MoviePass?: I’ve never heard of that.

What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?: Knives Out. I am SO tired of this answer hahahaha.

Have you ever been to Singapore or Bangkok?: I’ve been to Singapore so I would love to give Bangkok a visit. I’ve always wanted to go to Thailand anyway.

Black or gold?: Hmmmmmm. Probably black. But gold is a nice color, too.

How do you prefer your caffeine?: Sweet, for the most part. Black is fine but I can only take it iced.

Do you like coconut water?: That is the literal worst taste on earth. No.

Do you prefer hand sanitizer with aloe or not?: Whatever.

Have you ever had to comfort a friend after they were caught cheating?: Why would I be comforting the cheater...? And especially if they were caught??

What was the last thing someone got you for your birthday?: My manager sent over a cake and my director got me a bucket hat.

What was the last thing you got someone for their birthday?: I got my manager a box of cheese tarts for her birthday last Monday. I initially wasn’t even thinking of getting anything but then I remembered how sweet she was during mine, so I immediately placed an order for her.

Where’s the last place you received a postcard from?: The only postcards I collect are BTS postcards HAHAHA

Do you have a Nintendo Switch?: Yeah, I believe Nina is playing it at the moment.

Have you played Breath of the Wild?: Ah no, we don’t have that game.

At what venue was the last concert you attended?: MOA Arena.

Who was playing at the last concert you attended?: Paramore.

Describe what the bag you use looks like.: It’s a white shoulder bag that has a million pouches and pockets lmao, and it was originally my mom’s. I mean I guess it’s technically still hers; she’s just never asked for it back. I cannot for the life of me remember the brand and I’m too lazy to check.

What’s your favorite Bath and Body Works candle scent?: I’ve never bought any. I remember wanting to start buying them at the start of the year, but then I got into K-Pop and K-Pop merch and...I never ended up buying any candles...

Do you have any tattoos?: Nopes.

Do you have any anniversaries coming up?: My work anniversary is coming up next month.

Have you ever been to Chicago? If so, what was your favorite part?: I haven’t. It’s one of the cities in the US that I’d most like to see, though. < Me too. I want to head for their local restaurants, then cross out all their museums.

Who is the last person that texted you?: My inbox is just filled with either scams or SMS marketing texts these days.

Who is the last person you spoke to on the phone?: A sales contact from a media publication we’re currently working with.

Do you live in a college town?: Nopes.

Have you ever enjoyed just walking around a campus?: I mean I hate walking lmao so technically no, but my school was beautiful and I loved everything about its vibe. It always did feel peaceful driving through the campus.

Do you like craft beer? What’s your favorite?: I don’t really like beer to begin with, but I have tried craft beer and I suppose it tastes okay. Beer just happens to be not my type.

Would you try grapes on a pizza?: No.

Have you ever tried an oyster? How would you describe the experience?: Yesssssssssss. SO GOOD. I’ve been craving for years but they’re just so pricey.

Do you like wine? What’s your favorite?: It’s fine. I’m not necessarily crazy about the taste but I’d always finish up a glass.

Has anyone ever specifically painted you a painting?: No, but I’ve had someone give me their painting. They didn’t mean to make it for me specifically at first.

What are people from your state called?: Not giving that away.

How do you like your steak?: Rare rare rare rare.

Do you have any corduroy skinny jeans?: No. Those look so uncomfortable.

[a-love-poet-at-heart]

One time when i was like 16 or something i got a spam phone call and after hearing their spiel i hung up and then they fucking called me back

I was so scared i actually answered it again and he was just like "oh we must have been accidentally disconnected, anyway..." and i honestly felt so scared. Like i did something wrong and the call was actually legit and not spam

He was pushing some computer anti virus program or something and even after i told the guy i was like 16 and my mom wasnt home he continued to pressure me to buy it and that i couldnt wait till my mom got home

Anyway my mom got home in the middle of this and shut the guy down. I cant remember if i actually BOUGHT the probably scam program or like if i was only ABOUT to but yeah that haunts me.

And now Everytime i get a spam call and hang up im scared theyll immediately call me back and idk what ill do if that happens