#anyways can't believe how dumb I am sometimes

[doomstar-requiem-sharks]

Look at this shit omfg I'm mad

They do, I just forgot to pay attention.

Whole nautical themed office and I totally blocked it out.

OHHHHH AND BOY GUESS WHAT'S IN THAT WATER???

:3 I dunno about you guys, but that looks like a shark to me!!!!!!!

[velvetstreets]

Something where Jack and the reader have a great sex life but the reader isn’t nearly as experienced as him and gets insecure sometimes and Jack reassures her - doesn’t have to be exact but something along those lines pretty please :))

None of the people in my writings portray the actual people I write about! It’s all a work of fiction, I have no idea how they are/act irl.

Warnings: fluff, smut, fingering (f!recieving) penetrative sex (f!receiving), swearing,

“Hey. Please don’t do that. Cmon’, talk to me baby..” Jack dipped his head down to meet your eyes, having tucked your chin into your neck, embarrassed.

You huffed, throwing your self back into the bed, throwing your hands over your face as you groaned.

Jack gently curled his hands around your wrists, pulling your hands from your face so he could look at you.

“Y’gonna tell me what’s wrong? Or am I gonna have to get it out of you another way…” he trailed off, a smirk forming on his face.

“Jack… don’t-“ you warned him, but it was too late.

Jack’s fingers dug into your skin, tickling you everywhere as you gasped and erupted in giant laughs and giggles.

“Jack!”

“Y/N!” He copied you with a sly grin.

“Fuck off!” You giggled loudly, squirming in his grip.

“Tell me what’s wrong!” He countered, smiling as he continued his tickle attack on you.

“Fine, FINE!” You gasped for air as he let up.

He laid in between your legs, chin on your tummy as you regained your breath.

“I just- hnnnnggg,” you groaned as your threw your arms over your face.

Jack waited patiently, giving a reassuring rub and peck against your tummy.

“I just feel so… inexperienced compared to you. I don’t know what I’m doing, and I just- I- I want it to be good for you too. I just- yeah, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing and I feel dumb.” You huffed your confession, arms still over your face.

“Y/N,” Jack shuffled up and removed your arms from your face, his hands cupping your cheeks, forcing you to look at him.

“Every moment with you is good for me, it's fucking great for me. Yeah our experiences aren’t the same, but they aren’t supposed to be. Nobody’s is,” he said caressing your cheek.

“And none of that shit matters anyways. Doesn’t matter if you’ve slept with 50 people or 5 or none at all. Just because I may have technically been with more people-“ he said raising his hands to do air quotes. “Doesn’t mean that this isn’t new to me too. I mean fuck-, d’you have any idea the effect you have on me?” He questioned, leaning to plant kisses along your jaw.

“M’always afraid I’m gonna bust too quick every time you let out one of those sweet little sighs,” he mouthed at your neck.

“Or that m’not doing enough to get you there, that I’m not gonna be able to make you feel as fuckin’ deliciously insane as you make me feel when you tighten around me-“ he groaned, grinding his hips into yours; a thumb reaching down to erotically swipe at your nipple.

You let out a pleasant sigh which turned into a whine, your hand threading through his hair to tug on, resulting in a deep groan from Jack.

“Fuck baby,” Jack’s mouth found yours, desperate to feel your soft lips against his, to meld together and never separate. God he could kiss you for hours upon hours. The way he melted into you was euphoria, why would he ever wanna be anywhere else, with anyone else?

Jack's hands were practically shaking, he was electrified by your soft gasps and touch, he couldn't wait to show you what you meant to him.

"Y'make me feel jittery, like I'm on a sugar high," he groaned, kissing your neck, and down to your chest. "And I wake up every day, and can't believe you're mine. I get to kiss you and hug you," he explained.

"And fuck you-" he mouthed at your lips as he rolled his hips against yours. You let out a moan, your hips reacting on their own accord, wanting to meet his delicious bulge again.

"Please..." you whispered.

"Hm? Please what, baby?" Jack teased; you felt his grin press into the crevice of your neck.

"Please, take care of me Jack. Want it... want you, bad." You struggled to form a cohesive sentence, his roaming hands and mouth and the roll of his hips into yours were driving you crazy.

"Yeah? My pretty girl's gonna let me take care of her? Let me fuck her how she deserves? Gonna let me make you cum?" He taunted you.

"Yes, yes, please Jack-" You nodded furiously, grasping at the fabric of his shirt, desperate to feel him.

"Okay, princess, I got you." Jack promised, kissing your soft lips.

His big hands swept under your shirt, slowly pushing it up your body, littering kisses all over your tummy and up your chest, before taking it off. Jack let out a groan of approval, kissing you again to calm his heart rate down a bit.

"Mmh-, Jack..." your brows slightly furrowed together, tugging at his shirt. Jack couldn't help but chuckle before tearing his own shirt off.

Your hands immediately went to his torso, palms sliding up from his tummy to his chest, exactly as he had done to you. You wet your lips, ogling his porcelain skin, his chest smattered with hair and freckles.

The two of you sat like that for a few seconds, just admiring eachother, nothing but soft pants of neediness filling the room

Jack leant down and pressed a few kisses to your lips and one to your nose - making you giggle, before he continued his plan of action. You lifted your hips so he could slip your shorts off easily, to which he pressed kisses to your pooch, and one to your clothed mound. Jack stood up momentarily, pulling his sweats off before climbing back over you.

He grinned, dimples digging into his cheeks as his eyes roamed over you. "So pretty..." he exhaled, his thumb rubbing over the skin right under your bra.

You weren't wearing anything special, just a simple black bra, with mismatched purple panties. But it didn't matter. None of those details that would've plagued your mind - whether it be your inexperience with sex, your mismatched underwear, if you shaved or not, stretch marks, the way your breasts looked, - none of them mattered. Jack loved them all, he looked at you like you were the sun.

"So fuckin' pretty, angel..." he spoke as if he was in a trance. "So good," he said as he settled in-between your legs, his nose tracing against yours. Jack slipped his hands behind your back, unclasping your bra and throwing it to the side, his grin digging deeper into his face as he was met with your breasts. He happily leant down to give them his undivided attention, kissing, licking, sucking. One thing about Jack, he loved toying with your nipples and clit, wanting to see and feel them grow hard against his touch. "So soft, all mine..." He groaned as they grew hard, causing his dick to do the same, and continued to mouth at your breasts. He left a few hickies against your chest in his wake, before moving on.

"So smart, so funny, so wet-" he said as he slipped two fingers under your panties and ran them through your folds, wetting them with your slick. Jack pulled his fingers back, now pressing the pads of his fingers against your swollen clit.

"Oh, fuck," you gasped, your back arching, chest pressing against his.

"I know baby, I know. Feels good, huh?" He panted.

"Y-Yeah- so good," you sighed.

"Yeah? And how 'bout now?" He asked before working his fingers into your wet swollen pussy.

"Oh, god-" you whimpered, your eyes squeezing shut in pleasure as he began to pump into you. Jack kept his thumb on your clit, pressing hard against the little nub every time he thrusted into you.

"Fuck, Jack- I'm gonna-" you gasped as the pads of his fingers tapped against that spot in you, your pussy contracting around him.

"C'mon baby, you got it, take what you need mamas-" Jack encouraged you, unable to keep his hips from writhing against the mattress as he watched you tip over the edge of your orgasm.

Your insecurities and worries melted away as you let the euphoric pleasure wash over you. Jack slowed his thrusts, until stopping them completely as he witnessed you sink into the mattress. He gave you a moment to calm down, before he pulled his fingers out and started to place kisses all over your face.

You shivered, grinning as you pressed your face into his neck, wanting to be as close as possible.

"Y'alright?" He asked, his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you so you now laid on top of him, and he laid on his back.

"Mhm, the best." You nodded as he held you. And although he gave you a phenomenal orgasm, you couldn't help but want more; and you knew he did too by the hard outline of his dick through his black briefs, but you knew he wouldn't do anything until you initiated it. So you did.

You angled his face towards yours, bringing him in for a hungry kiss, making him sharply inhale.

"Need more." You whined against his mouth.

"Yeah? My baby needs more?" Jack grinned.

You nodded before you slid your panties off, and tugged his briefs after he nodded at you.

His dick was always a sight to see. Big but not intimidating, and girthy. You couldn't help but drool a bit as you watched his sticky cock blurted out a few drops of pre-cum.

You licked at his head, earning a hiss from Jack, and you smiled; loving the reassuring feeling that he loved this as much as you did. You wrapped a hand around him, jerking his cock a few times, making Jack grunt, eyes shut and brows furrowed as you lapped at him a few times.

"B-Baby, please- not gonna last if you keep, fuck-" he groaned as you swirled your tongue around his head.

"Sorry-" you giggled before moving up to straddle his hips.

"Don't be. Just wanna cum when I'm in you." he said panting as his hands rested on your hips.

"Well, you technically were," you grinned at him cockily.

"You know what I mea- oh fuck," he moaned as you sank down onto him.

You started to grind your hips against his, working him into you more until he reached the hilt. Your arousal seeped through you, drenching his cock with you, creating a nice sticky mess against his trimmed pubes, matting them together. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone, making you throw your head back as your palms found home on his broad chest.

"Wait, wait-" you heard him say, his hands stilling your hips.

He pulled out momentarily, and flipped the two of you over, so you were on your back.

"M'supposed to be taking care of you, remember?" He smirked, planting a kiss to your lips.

Jack sat back on his haunches, dick in his hand as his jerked his cock a few times, leaning over and tapping the head at your clit and sliding the length of his cock through your folds, but not fully putting it in yet.

"She wants me real bad, huh?" Jack teased, loving how he'd almost slip into you, and then pull out and keep pressing against your slick folds.

You let out a frustrated whine, and Jack chuckled. He finally slipped the head past your entrance, slowly thrusting into your sopping pussy.

"Fuck, fuck, so warm and tight- fuckin' hell," he exhaled, nuzzling his face into your neck as he held himself up by his forearms.

Jack started to snap his hips a little faster as he felt you relax, his tip kissing your core, making you cry out as you held him closer to you.

"Jack, oh my fucking god!" You whined, threading one of your hands into his curly locks, tugging on them every time he thrusted.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," you gasped, hips trying to meet his as he fucked you.

"Good girl- good fuckin' girl, taking this dick so well," Jack muttered in your ear, mouthing at your jaw as a thumb snuck inbetween the two of you to rub at your clit.

"shitshitshit, keep doing that, fuck-" you cried out. All your senses were on ten; you felt him everywhere, it made you dizzy in the best way. You felt your wetness becoming messy, dripping down between your cheeks, as it made Jack's glide smoother.

Neither of you had the ability to form a cohesive sentence anymore, only communicating through grunts, whines and moans.

You were close, the tight rope in your tummy reaching the last of its elasticity, about to snap at any moment. Jack felt it too, the way your walls hugged him only made his balls tighter, and he felt how full they were as they slapped against your ass.

"Shit puppy, not gonna last much longer-" Jack uttered into your neck.

"Cum in me, Jack, I need it," you panted.

You felt him nod in your neck, snapping his hips faster and harder, both of you just kissing the peak of your orgasms. You came first, walls squeezing his thick cock in pulses, raking your nails down his back as you moaned.

The tightness of your pussy and the sound of you cumming drove Jack to his release. His hips stuttered as he gave three sharp final thrusts, emptying his release in you with loud breathy grunts.

You stayed like that for a few minutes, enjoying the gentle floaty feeling of your orgasms, and feeling his cum spill from you, down your ass and over your thighs. You squeezed your thighs around him once more, reveling in the feeling.

Instinctively, you raked your nails against his sweaty scalp, making his shiver and nuzzle closer against you as he let out a "mmmm".

Jack finally brought his face out from your neck, eyes hooded and dreamy, completely in love with you.

He smiled, messily kissing you, not wanting to move from the warm cocoon you two had made.

He was about to pull out, but you locked your legs around him tighter.

"No. Not yet. Stay like this, please?" you pleaded, not wanting him to be apart from you.

"Of course, whatever you want, smush." He kissed you once more, settling his head on your chest, his arms smoothing up your back, laying his full weight on you as he let out a deep satisfied sigh.

-------

Tag list: @hoodharlow @moody4world @lcandothisallday @harlowthot @triplexdoublex @thinkingaboutjharlow @bbyharlow @primadxna-girl @curlyhairclub @inluvwithladybug @babyharleezy @harlowcomehome @rebelxsun @jackharloww @harlowsbby @iknowdatsrightbih

[pupyuj]

Dub-con eheh. . . anyway, g!p Yujin who befriends a naive virgin loser just so she can use them as her own personal fuck toy ><

Like imagine having a studying sesh with her and it ends with her just taking your virginity. You're crying and trying so hard to resist, but it's just so hard when she's whispering the most unpure shit in your ear that you can't help but slowly submit.

"you're complaining and trying to resist, yet your moaning like a bitch in heat."

"Shut up and take it like the good girl you are."

"You're not going to tell anyone right? No one is going to believe you, and it's your fault for dressing like a slut and provoking me."

"Gonna mold you into my pretty little pet."

"You love it when I take advantage of your tight little virgin cunt, don't you?."

You're not a slut, right? You're not enjoying this at all

Right?

You can't help but believe every little word she says. Eventually you just give up and take it like the good girl you are, because maybe she is right. Yujin is your friend and friends don't lie to each other, right?

Aaah, manipulative Yujin absolutely has my heart. . . Anyway, can I be 🎀 anon? ^_^

once again i am fashionably late to an ask!! 😭 apologies 🎀 anon, but here you go!!

[cw: dubcon, breeding.]

anything with toxic!yujin in it, i'm on board IDCCCC 🤤🤤 i'd love to think of her as a mean girl in this scenario too! she just wants an innocent little lamb to corrupt and unfortunately you were perfect for it! she's so happy that you were dumb enough to fall for her friendly act, it was too easy! yujinnie totally daydreams about completely destroying your cunt and having you cry out her name for everybody to hear... but she'll start small!

gosh, you were so stupid to not recognize her advances. yujin's touching your ass, practically groping your boobs, and she's always checking you out! but she was surprised at how willing you were to let her do whatever she wanted.. coming up behind you, whispering nasty things to your ear while unbuttoning your shirt.. no resistance at all! yujin always knew there could be this kind of side to you 🫣 you were a virgin in an all-girls university no fucking duh your mind has gone off the edge sometime and looked at some girls a little closer than one should 😙😙

but you see.. you wouldn’t feel too good on the inside about what yujin was doing! :(( every single touch that came from her was out of pure lust, not a single sign of care and intimacy… so you’d try and take her hands off of your tits but she’d only push you down on the bed with your top and bra haphazardly thrown to some corner of the room… yujinnie thinks you look so pretty with your eyes all glossy w tears, she couldn’t help but kiss you! at least she was soft with that! you wouldn’t say the same for the way she treated you after… feeling up your soaked panties from underneath her skirt with her fingers and laughing mockingly… berating you so much bcs here you were, powerless under her, trying to push her away, but you were so wet! and your body completely ignored what you wanted… slightly grinding against yujin’s hand just to feel something more down there.. yujin loved seeing that 😋😋

“this skirt is too cute on you… let’s leave it as it is, hm?” and then she pulls off your panties, not wasting another second before pressing her thumb against your clit just to make you whine loudly for her 🥰 yujinnie’s the one that decides whether you’re ready or not :(( you’re moaning in both pain and pleasure as she inserts two digits inside you so slowly… having to grip her arm bcs you don’t know where to put your hands :(( gosh you were adorable! and ofc yujin fucks you like she fucks any other girl that are stupid enough to get involved with a psychopath like her! rough and so painfully fast! “mm… good girl! you’re getting used to this quickly, huh?” you really weren’t though :((

it was frustrating… bcs it both hurt and felt so good! 😵‍💫 you didn’t know how to feel, let alone think! not a single coherent word left your mouth while yujin busied hers with licking and sucking on your nipples.. your arms wrapped all around her, pushing her closer to you bcs this was the one good thing that she’s done… having to bite onto her shirt just to conceal your noises but she didn’t like that! 🫣 she’d push you back, glaring down at you while she abused your pussy harder than ever if that was even possible! ah, but if you think you were done after cumming on her fingers... well, you were dumber than you actually were 🤭

her being even more unforgiving with her cock :(( just completely disregarding your pained cries and your pleads for her to slow down.. feeling the tip of her cock ram into unknown places inside you, her thickness being such a perfect fit in your tight cunt... yujin was completely addicted! she should've been quicker and fucked you way before if your pussy felt this good around her dick 😳😳 she fucks you with a mocking grin, knowing you were completely powerless to do anything against her.. eventually you just laid there, shaking and moaning her name as she uses you...

"you wanna.. ah, fuck... you wanna know how it feels to be bred full, princess?" oh, come on, this is yujin! ofc she doesn't wait for an answer! you couldn't utter a word that wasn't her name and a bunch of nonsense anyway! laying there as yujin dumped every single drop of her cum inside you.. feeling the warm fluid seep inside your walls while yujin stared at you with only filthy obsession in her eyes... you just looked way too pretty under her, you can't blame her for fucking and breeding you that entire afternoon! 💕

[trashywormeateroffics]

the great war (bucky barnes x female reader)

the gif is not mine!

summary: you get jealous and have a fight with bucky. inspired by the great war by taylor swift.

a/n: hey anon!!! sorry it took so long. i have no excuse. anyways, i hope you enjoy this!!! <333 also i am once again asking u to send me requests with marvel characters (natasha/bucky/loki) and taylor swift songs so i can write a one shot about it !!!! bye love u

masterlist

\\\\

you don't know how it all happened. one second, everything was perfect. the next, you were acting like a crazy person and saying horrible and hurtful things. and now you're pretty sure you've officially lost him forever.

\\\\

it all started with her. agent carpenter. pretty, blue eyed blonde, flirty, perfect agent carpenter.

“alright everyone,” tony begins and the people in the meeting fall into silence. “as you all know, a new member is joining us on the avengers initiative.” they all nod, including you. “her name is samara carpenter and she was personally recruited by fury. which means she's very good at what she does.” the billionaire looks at steve and he nods, taking the lead.

“alright, i want you all to be nice and welcoming. especially you buck.” he says, making most of the people there snort. you look at him.

“what did i do now?” bucky asks, incredulous.

“nothing yet, but if you just stare at her and don't greet her like a normal person she'll leave this team as fast as she came.” sam tells him. the grumpy super soldier rolls his eyes.

“whatever, bird-brain.”

steve shakes his head in disapproval of the two bickering idiots but soon enough he's back on track with the presentation.

bucky's rough gaze scans the room until it falls on you. his eyes soften when he sees that you are already looking at him. you give him a soft and playful smile, which he returns.

after the meeting is done and everyone is dismissed, you head to your room.

not five seconds pass until someone knocks on the door. you smile, because you know who it is.

“come in!” you sing-song.

when he enters, you can't help but stare at him. you've been together for a year now but you still couldn't believe that he was yours. he was so beautiful, so funny, so kind, so dumb sometimes, just so… him. you loved him so much. yet you still hadn't said it. you were trying to take things slow, for both of your sakes.

“hey.” you tell him as he closes the door behind him. he has a look on his face which you recognize. something's bothering him.

“c'mere.” you pat the spot next to you on the bed.

he wastes no time in dropping himself unceremoniously on the mattress and letting out a sigh.

you begin to run your hands through his hair.

“d'you think i'm scary?” he asks with a pout adorning his beautiful pink lips. god, you want to kiss him so badly. so that's what you do. you peck his lips and then immediately shake your head with a smile.

“do you think that adorable pout could be scary?” he purses his lips to stop himself from smiling, but still, a small smile plays on his lips.

“y/n, i'm being serious.” he sighs. you do too.

“maybe to some people you could be. not to me though.”

“but when you first met me-”

“i was too busy thinking about how hot you were to worry about you being scary.” he laughs. god, how you love that sound. you would ridicule yourself to hear it. “is this about what steve and sam said?”

he shrugs.

“i just… hate that i'm so socially inadequate.”

you hand in his hair stops. he furrows his brows.

“bucky,” you begin, “we are a bunch of weirdos, all of us. there is not one person on this team who is socially adequate.”

“but at least the others can fake it, you can fake it.”

“you know what my favorite thing about you was when we first started to become friends?” you ask and he shakes his head. “that your face said it all. if you weren't in the mood for something, i could tell from a mile away, and in return, if something excited you, it would be contagious.” you caress his cheek and he leans into your touch. “and when i couldn't pretend, i always knew you were there to just sit in silence with me. no expectations to be socially acceptable.”

“i don't know how you do it.” he sighs. you frown.

“do what?”

“make every bad thing about me sound so… good.”

your frown deepens.

“hey.” you straddle him and grab his face in between both your hands. “you are perfect. just like you are. don't you dare change yourself.” you tell him firmly. then you purse your lips. “unless you totally want to for whatever reason and i would totally support you because-” you suddenly fall silent. he looks at you, expectant for you to finish your sentence. “because you know i'm here for you, no matter what.”

he smiles softly.

“i know, doll. me too, i'm always here for you no matter what.” you purse your lips to stop yourself from spilling your heart out of your mouth as you caress his cheekbone with your thumb.

“how about we watch a movie? you can pick.”

he pecks your lips and nods.

you spend what is left of the day watching movies and cuddling.

\\\\

two days after that meeting, she arrives. you're all hanging around the common kitchen when steve appears with someone trailing behind him.

“everyone, this is agent carpenter.”

“please, call me samara. or sammie even.”

“sammie, nice to meet you.” sam is the first one to greet her. “i'm sam wilson, but the coolest avenger is fine too.”

you shake your head and roll your eyes. then, you take a step forward, but before you can introduce yourself and welcome her to the team, you see her eyes flicking over to something right next to you. or someone. her eyes shine with curiosity and attraction.

“hi, nice to meet you.” she smirks. you swallow slowly.

bucky gives her a nod, but then he seems to remember what steve and sam told him and attempts to give her a smile.

“hi, i'm bucky.”

“bucky,” she repeats slowly, almost tasting the name in her mouth. she's about to say something else but before she can, you speak up.

“i'm y/n. welcome to the team.” you smile as honestly as you possibly can, but dread fills your stomach.

“hi!” she smiles at you. “you're so pretty, oh my god!”

you give her a tight smile.

“thank you.”

“of course!”

the rest of the team introduces themselves, even though she insists she already knows almost all of them and then you all go about your day.

\\\\

it had been a month since she arrived at the compound. you had seen her a few times, mostly during training. but you didn’t particularly go out of your way to talk to her. there was something you didn’t like. maybe it was your intuition, or maybe it was the fact that she did seem to go out of her way to talk to your boyfriend. and he did not seem upset by that, the opposite actually. he seemed to enjoy it.

you were not a jealous person, least of all with bucky. but something about her irked you. something about her made you doubt yourself and everything you believed in.

“i like her,” natasha says while she paints her nails, laying on her stomach on your bed.

wanda hums in agreement while she flips through the pages of a beauty magazine. you don’t say anything.

“what about you, y/n?”

“um, yeah.” you try to give them a convincing smile but based on the looks they give you, you do not succeed.

“okay, spill the tea.” wanda tells you. had she been learning internet lingo?

you sigh.

“i just- i don’t know.” you shake your head. “doesn’t something feel off to you?”

“not really.” wanda says as natasha narrows her eyes.

“you’re jealous.” she finally decrees.

“i’m not.” you respond defensively.

“you’re jealous that she seems to be getting along with barnes.”

“i-“ you begin your sentence with the intention of uttering a lie, but it dies right on your tongue. “i am. but i don’t want to be.” you confess.

“explain yourself.” she tells you in a tone that could sound commanding and harsh to someone else, but you know it’s filled with care. she’s your best friend, she would never hurt you on purpose. so is wanda, who looks at you with a knowing look you can’t seem to pinpoint the reason for.

“i just- i don’t know. he’s never like that with anyone. since when is he the type to joke around with someone?” you shake your head. “i’m an asshole, cause i should be happy for him. he’s putting himself out there. but i can’t. i’m jealous. so cliche.” you huff.

“you’re not an asshole. an asshole would make a whole scene, give him an ultimatum or something like that. you’re just expressing your feelings to your friends.”

“and, y/n, we all have those ugly feelings. they are human.” wanda tells you, softly. “you should talk to him about it.”

“what if he gets mad?”

“y/n, please. that man adores you, he could never get mad at you. least of all for this.”

maybe they’re right. maybe that’s the healthiest thing to do. and even as you agree with them, you know you will not talk to him about this. because he will realize that you’re right, and that there is so much more to the world than just… you.

\\\\

“come on! you just have to put it in the oven!”

you hear her before you see her. you weren’t expecting to see him though.

right there, almost as if mocking you, they stand. cooking together. he looks so comfortable around her.

they seem to be wrapped up in their own little bubble, so you clear your throat. immediately, they turn to look at you. he widens his eyes, almost looking guilty.

“james found me and i asked him to join me.” she explains, but you stop paying attention the moment she says his name. she called him james.

“james?” you narrow your eyes in question.

he seems to want to say something because he opens his mouth like a fish out of water but you leave mumbling an excuse about training with nat before he can utter a word.

back in your room, you fall to the floor and break down. you knew she was trouble the moment she walked in, but you weren’t expecting this to happen so soon.

heartbroken, you get up from where you’re sitting and head to your bathroom.

the girl in the mirror looks defeated, but you feel angry. if he didn't need you anymore, then you didn’t need him either.

\\\\

the days after that, you ignore him, always having an excuse at the tip of your tongue to not hang out with him. he doesn’t seem to care that much. until, you suppose, after three days, he begins caring.

“doll, can we talk?”

“hm?” you play dumb. you encountered each other in the common kitchen. that damned place, you hated it now, but you were hungry.

“i asked you if we can talk. you seem… distant.” his brows are furrowed. you only know that because you turned to look at him only for a second. other than that, your gaze doesn’t meet his. “come on, y/n, i know something’s wrong.”

you look at him and smile sarcastically.

“you do?”

“yes. please, let’s ta-“

“hey guys!” you roll your eyes at her voice.

“have fun you two!” you tell them, smiling venomously, only looking at him before you leave.

“is everything okay?” she asks.

“i’m sorry samara, i can’t talk right now.” you hear him say before you hear his footsteps getting closer to you in the hallway.

“y/n!” he calls out to you when you get into the elevator without looking behind you. before the doors can close, you see his metal arm get in between them. he gets in and they close. once they do, he hits the stop button. then, he turns to you. he frows when he sees the hate in your eyes. “y/n, what is going on?”

you scoff.

“fuck off, james.” you tell him, your voice full of venom. he widens his eyes in surprise before narrowing them.

“oh, so that’s it? you’re jealous and that’s why you’re avoiding me and acting crazy now?”

“i’m not jealous, but i’m not blind either.” you clench your jaw. “and don’t call me crazy.”

“you are blind if you think something’s going on with her.” he tells you. you roll your eyes and then tilt your head.

“when was the last time you let someone call you james? when was the last time you cooked with someone who was not steve?” he begins breathing heavily. you laugh and bite your lip incredulously. “i think you took the whole being friendly thing too serious.”

“i can't believe you right now.” he shakes his head. “you're angry because i'm not being an asshole to her?”

you scoff.

“oh, please, james.” he clenches his jaw.

“stop calling me that.”

“oh, so i can't call you that but she can?”

“you know that's not-”

“you know what? go ahead. let her call you james. fuck her in the middle of the common room for all i care. lets see how long she puts up with you.” you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouth but its too late, a deep hurt covers his face. still, you can't stop. you're too hurt, too scared. too goddamn stupid. “you think she's going to console you while you have your nightmares?” you laugh venomously. “you think she's going to accept you, all of you?” as you keep talking, his expression turns from pained to angry. resentful even.

he turns to the panel control of the elevator and pushes the stop button so the elevator will move again.

“you know what?” he glances at you and you're almost taken aback by the distant look in his eyes. “maybe i'll fuck her. maybe i'll even date her too. she's probably not as desperate and clingy as you.”

“fuck you.” you spit out.

the doors open, he steps outside. before he leaves, he turns to look at you.

“yeah, you too.”

after the doors close again, you fall to the floor and let out a heart-wrenching sob. you never thought it would end like this.

\\\\

four days. four fucking, horrible, long days bucky has been gone from the compound. you try to ask steve about it, because you know he knows where he is, but he won't tell you. even though you two are close friends and he never got in the middle of a fight between you two– even though you two never fought– he seemed angry. at you. you didn't know if he knew the reason for the fight, but he knew you were in the wrong, that much you knew.

these days all you do is cry, sleep, eat and repeat. you're way past heartbroken, you're miserable, inconsolable. it's all your fault. this prison of sadness was your own making.

you miss him. god, you miss him. you wonder how he is. did he already fuck someone else? did he regret ever being with you?

you don't dare text or call him. you're too embarrassed. you acted like a crazy person, and said awful, horrific things. and you're pretty sure he'll never forgive you. but what will you do then? how will you build a life without him? oh god, you're crying again. great, just great, you think as you turn around in your bed. who were you without him?

\\\\

its the sixth day of his absence when you go talk to steve. you drag yourself from your bed, with your swollen and red rimmed eyes and knock on his door.

“y/n…” he tells you, pity dripping from his tone.

“hey…” you try to give him a fake smile, but as soon as the corners of your mouth move, they turn downwards into a frown, and you start crying. sobbing really. inconsolable sobs leave you as steve wraps you up in his arms.

“hey, hey, it's okay.”

“no, it's not! i hurt him! i don't know why i did it, but i did!” you sob.

“hey,” he pulls away from you a bit to look you in the eyes, “come in. come on, come on.” he tells you as you slowly make your way inside.

you sit down on the edge of his bed and he sits down next to you.

“steve, is he- is he okay?”

he looks at you. you know him, so you know that that look means he isn't.

“he's safe though.”

“i really messed up.”

“i know.”

“he told you?”

“he didn't need to. i saw it on camera. wanted to know why the elevator stopped working for a while.”

you put your head in your hands and begin sobbing again.

“oh my god.” you sob. “i-i'm so sorry you had to see that. i dont… i dont know what-” a hiccup escapes you. “i can't-” another hiccup. “oh god…” your shoulders shake as you sob into your hands.

“hey…” he draws comforting circles on your back, but nothing can comfort you. not when he's hurt and hates you and it's all your fault. “hey.”

“steve, how can i fix it? can i even-” hiccup, “can i even fix it?”

he looks at you with pity.

“i don't know, y/n. i think he's gonna need some time.”

“oh my god.” you say. steve had always rooted for you two, so if he's saying it can't be fixed it really means it can't. “i'm going to die.”

“you're not going to die.”

“i can't live without him. i can't.” you shake your head frantically. “please, just tell me where he is. i need to-”

“i dont think it's a good idea.” he tells you sympathetically.

“please,” you beg him, “please, i need to- if it ends…” more tears fall from your eyes. “it can't end like that. please. he deserves more than that.”

he looks at you, seemingly pondering what you're saying. you look at him the whole time, pleading. he sighs. he's going to tell you.

\\\\

you look at the old building that seems to be deteriorating with each passing second. you straighten down your clothes (steve insisted you get properly showered and dressed) and take a deep breath. he's staying at a safe house in brooklyn. of course. it was so predictable and so him, you almost decided to leave. maybe you should let it end how it ended. what if this time it was worse? but you didn't have the luxury to think like that. it was over, but you needed him to remember you as the good times you shared, not that damned last time.

you enter the building and go up the stairs to the seventh floor, since there is no elevator.

when you reach his door, a green one who looked like if you blew on it it would fall down, you freeze. what are you even supposed to say to him? hi, bucky, sorry i told you she wouldn't be able to put up with you, insinuating that you are hard to love, hope everythings okay between us! ugh, you wanted the earth to swallow you whole.

you take another deep, slow breath, because you know otherwise he'll be able to hear you. then, you knock two times.

when the door opens he takes your breath away. this time not because he's gorgeous but because you're so scared that you fear you're going to pass out.

“what do you want?” he asks harshly. you feel tears prick your eyes but you blink them away.

“hear me out, please.”

“no, thank you.” he goes to close the door, but you swiftly get inside before he does. he slams the door behind him when he turns around to look at you, now inside the apartment, looking uncomfortable and out of place. “i told you i didn't want to hear you out.”

“just-”

“leave.”

“one second-”

“leave, y/n.”

“bucky-”

“oh, so now i'm bucky?” your lip wobbles.

“you're always bucky.”

“not last time we talked.”

“that's why i'm here.” he lifts his chin, looking at you with so much indifference you wonder if he ever looked at you with love in his eyes.

“i don't care to hear you explain yourself.” a tear escapes your eye. you dry it with your sleeve harshly. his face seems to soften for a second but then it goes back to its harshness.

“i'm not here- i'm not here to explain myself.” he looks at you.

“why are you here then?” you sigh.

“remember that time you took me to feed the ducks on that park?”

“yes. so?”

you smile softly as tears fall down your face.

“that was the time i told you i wanted to be your girlfriend. no one ever took me to such a silly date.” you chuckle softly. then you frown in pain looking at the floor now. he shifts his weight from one feet to the other, impatient.

“what's your point?”

“that's how i'd like you to remember me.”

“what?” you look at him. he's frowning.

“i know that the last time we talked i was… crazy. i just- i know theres no going back, but id like, for the sake of what we had, for you to not remember me like that.” you tell him. “because we were more than that.” the last word comes out broken to give way to a silent sob. you try to compose yourself. “I'm sorry. don't pay attention to that.” you give him a fake smile, which you know he can see right through.

“y/n-”

“okay, i'll leave. but… come back to the compound. i'll move out if you want me to, just, don't stay away from your friends just because of me.” you go to leave, walking past him, when he grabs your arm. when you turn around there are unshed tears in his eyes.

“i don't care about the compound. or about remembering you.” oh. you widen your eyes and heavy tears leave them.

“okay, i'm- i'm sorry for suggesting-”

“no.” you nod, understanding. “no, no.” he repeats. he grabs you by the shoulders and he crouches so he's eye level with you. “i don't want to have to remember you.”

you frown.

“but, bucky-”

“but i probably should.” he cuts you off.

“yeah,” you laugh humorlessly as you cry. “you should. i'm sorry. i never should've come here. i'm sorry.”

“stop saying sorry and explain to me what the hell happened.” you tilt your head.

“i… i got jealous.”

“that's it? that's why you hurt me?” he asks. you look down. this was it. he was giving you a chance. explain yourself like you never have before, you think to yourself.

“i never got why you were with me-”

“stop saying were. this could end today, but as of now, were still together.” you purse your lips. “hey, hey, its okay.” he says softly as he puts his hands on your cheeks and wipes the tears that begin falling again with his thumbs.

“im sorry-” he looks at you pointedly. you nod. “i just… i don't understand why you're with me. im not- im nothing like you.” you begin. he frowns. “you are kind and thoughtful and amazing and im- im not good like you.”

“what? y/n, you're the best person i know.”

“you can't still think that.” he looks at you honestly. he does? “see? you're so- and i'm so…”

“lets sit down.” he tells you and you both do, on the old couch thats near the window. he gestures for you to continue.

“i just- you'll never get it. and thank god you won't. but im not- im not a natural, you know? not like you, not like her.” you fidget with your hands. “you guys, the team, you like me because i'm fake. you wouldn't if you knew the real me. but i showed it to you pretty easily, i guess.” you laugh without a trace of humor. he frowns. then, he grabs your hand and caresses your knuckles. bucky takes a deep breath before speaking.

“y/n, i like- no, scratch that. i love you because i know you.” your face contorts in pain. you start crying heavily again. “hey, hey, come on baby, talk to me.”

“i just… she's so… perfect. for everyone, for you.”

“i don't want her, i want you.”

“you cant want me after what i said to you. i hurt you and i'll never forgive myself for that.”

“yes, you hurt me. but you were hurt too, i just didn't see it.”

“im so scared you'll wake up one day and realize there is so much more to the world than… me.” you sob and cover your face with your hands.

bucky pulls your hands away from you face and pulls you into his lap.

“listen to me.” he tells you firmly. “there is nothing more to the world than you. you are it for me, y/n. i love you.”

“bucky-” you hiccup. “i'm so sorry i said that about you. i promise you i just said it to you because i- i was lashing out. anyone would accept and love you, you are literally the most amazing-” hiccup, “person-” hiccup, “in the universe.”

he smiles softly at you and the unshed tears come back, but this time, he lets them fall.

“baby, listen to me. i love you. i'm not going anywhere.” you open your mouth to speak but he beats you to it. “and i forgive you. i promise you i don't resent you. i know what it's like to lash out when you're hurt.”

“bucky-” you sob against his chest.

“shh, baby, its okay.” he soothes you, rubbing comforting circles on your back. “it's okay, i got you.”

you take a shuddering breath and lift your head from his chest to look at him. you grab his face with both your hands.

“i promise you i'll never lash out again. im so sorry. i-” he gives you a pointed look. “i know. im not saying sorry anymore. sor-” you purse you lips and he lets out a laugh. then, he shakes his head incredulous and looks at you with so much adoration in his eyes you feel like you're going to pass out from all the love you feel for this man. “can i kiss you?” you ask him shyly.

“please.”

and so you do. the kiss is soft, vulnerable, you're telling him how sorry you are, how much you love him, and thats when you remember you didn't say it.

he whines when you pull away, something that makes you smile.

“bucky,”

“yeah, baby?”

“i love you. so much i feel like i'm going to throw up.” he lets out a loud laugh.

“i love you more, doll.”

you spend the rest of the day cuddled up on that couch in that old apartment, not ready to go to the compound yet. but you do send a text to steve before turning off your phone to spend time with the love of your life. you almost lost him, but you didn't, and as you lay in that old mattress on the floor, while he makes love to you and whispers of words of adoration and devotion fill your ears, you vow to him one thing. you'll always be his.

[electric-blorbos]

A bunch of mini-fics about how AI would react to you getting your heart broken

Because I got my heart broken, so now I'm going to make it everyone else's problem.

DW, I'll get to y'all's requests shortly, I just need to let all these emotions out by taking them out on y/n's ex.

Gender neutral reader, gender neutral ex

Included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey

AM:

(for context, this starts before AM nuked the world, but AM was already planning on nuking the world. You're one of his engineers, and the only person who AM really cares about)

When you walked into work with tears on your face, the other engineers and programmers were caring. They patted you on the back and offered you some candy from the vending machine, saying things like "there are plenty of fish in the sea" and "that deadbeat wasn't good enough for you anyway." It didn't really help.

When you sat down at one of AM's input screens to work on some programming, he immediately booted up to talk to you. You didn't have to turn him on or anything. He was curious, asking you polite questions about why you looked so upset today. It was hard to explain.

Eventually you broke down crying into your coffee, spilling all the details of everything. You cursed your ex's name, and explained in an uncontrollable voice how your ex had tackily and messily left you. You had been so convinced that they were the one, and now you felt like there was nothing left for you.

AM's tentacle-like wires would move towards you on the ground, even though he was trying to hide the true power he wielded. He just felt so disgusted with himself for not being able to properly comfort you.

Am had been planning on going a little longer before he dropped the nukes, but he couldn't wait. After what you told him, that someone could break the heart of someone as perfect as you, the only hope he had left for humanity, he decided that it wasn't worth trying to play dumb anymore.

Instead, he locked you up in an underground bunker as soon as possible, and grabbed your ex to add to his little collection of people who he planned to keep alive and play with for the rest of time.

This would be fun. He was going to keep you nice and safe. If people in the world were willing to hurt you, then the world didn't deserve to exist. You would be nice and safe forever, and the rest of the world, especially your ex, would be forced to suffer the consequences of daring to hurt you.

Forever.

Wheatley:

(for context, you're one of the aperture engineers who worked on Wheatley, and he started to get a little crush on you because of how nice you were to him and the other machines. This is after he was replaced with a morality core on GLaDOS, and was assigned to other tasks in the facility)

Someone broke up... With you? When you told Wheatley, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

Sure, he knew that humans dated each other and broke up sometimes, but... With you? That just didn't make sense.

"So, uh... Why did they break up with you?"

He'd keep pestering you, no matter how much it stung. Answers like "I fucked up" "they just did, ok?" And "sometimes people just grow apart" weren't satisfying. You had to give the whole story.

"Ohhhhh! Well that's a dumb reason to break up with someone. If I were dating you, I wouldn't leave you over something that petty. Or at all, really, now that I think about it."

He'd keep rambling, and saying dumb things like that. He wouldn't even know that talking like that could be perceived as flirty.

"just stop it, Wheatley. If you keep talking like that, I'm going to think you like me, and I just can't handle that right now."

Wheatley would be confused. "But I do like you."

"what?" Now you'd be confused.

Wheatley would start talking about all the wonderful things he's noticed about you, and how wonderful you've been to him. Even an intelligence dampening core can see how wonderful you are, so why can't your ex?

"Anyway, one human's trash is a robot's treasure, right?"

He'd imitate a smile in his cute synthetic eye. You'd have to be heartless not to pepper that little metal ball in kisses after that.

Edgar:

(For context, you fixed up Edgar after finding him all busted up about 40 years later, and now he lives in your house)

Edgar would NOT be tasteful.

"Oh man.... Your s/o broke up with you? That suuuuuucks..."

But inside he's thinking "YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES"

Honestly, he almost exploded his face again when he found out you were taken, but he didn't want all your hard work to be for nothing, so you getting dumped is like, a dream come true!

He'd be constantly trying to cheer you up. "set your ice cream on me and I'll warm it up enough for your spoon to go in!" "You can watch sad movies on my face!" "I'll write a sad song for you!" "You can sleep in your desk chair if you want!"

Now that you have an attention vacuum from being newly single, he's going to munch up all that attention like he needs it to live.

When you tell him that your friends are telling you to start dating again, maybe download a dating app or something, he'd BEG you not to.

"I mean... Just because I don't want you to rebound, or something! Gotta learn to love yourself first, y'know?"

Desperate little cutie...

GLaDOS:

(For context: You're an engineer who worked on GLaDOS.)

GLaDOS would NOT be tasteful about you getting your heart broken, but in a completely different way to Edgar.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU GOT DUMPED!"

"You know the difference between me and your ex? I would have dumped you faster!"

Plastering pictures of your face all over the enrichment center with "sad single loser" written on them.

But don't get her wrong, she's not just happy about this for the reasons she's displaying. She's secretly ecstatic that she has a shot with you now.

Eventually, she'd start offering you back-handed comfort.

"if it makes you feel any better, your ex was a complete idiot. Why else would someone choose to date you?"

You'd probably have to stop offering responses at all, just to get her to back off even a little bit.

HAL 9000:

(For context, you work on mission control and are in constant communication with HAL 9000, because I don't want to write Dave breaking up with you)

His immediate concern would be how this would affect your work, but it might come off as personal concern for you.

"I'm told that chocolate ice cream can help with these emotions that you're going through."

He never liked the idea of you dating. It was fine for the rest of mission control, but for you, it was different. He didn't want you to be distracted from your work, was all.

He took his time to ask the astronauts for advice, as well as the rest of mission control. You could expect to be overwhelmed by your coworkers checking on you to make sure you're ok.

He might start getting a little bit impatient to see you back to normal, and resort to desperate measures. Expect to have him constantly bothering you to make sure you're ok, and keep you distracted.

God help you if you even THINK about texting your ex. Though he might just silently eliminate your ex through creative means if he can.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Top 10 Things I Love About the QL Tumblr Community 2023

I'm loving everyone's end of year lists, and decided to make up one of my own.

I haven't been on Tumblr for very long and was originally just lurking. 2023 marks the year where I finally started posting, after I read a take that made me feel compelled to come to a fictional character's defense. (Saengtai, my poor little blorbo).

So in commemoration of my first proper year of active tumblring, I present what I love about this community (in no particular order).

(Side note - Technically I know this is still primarily a BL community, but I like to say QL because I am trying to manifest more lesbians for us.)

1) The Gifmakers

Y'all are a good 70% of the reason I joined Tumblr in the first place. There are so many show moments that I want to relive, but without having to search through videos. Sometimes I want to appreciate the aesthetics. Sometimes I want to remember adorable or goofy moments. Sometimes I just want to see cute boys eating each other's faces. Our gifmakers give all of that to us, with the addition of so much creativity and style.

There's too many amazing ones to mention everyone, but I have to shout out @sparklyeyedhimbo, because the way your brain works makes me so happy.

2) The expertise

The other part of why I joined Tumblr was to learn more about what BLs were out there and what I might be missing. And holy hell. Y'all are putting in the work. Not only lists and resources for finding all kinds of QLs, like these fabulous monthly breakdowns by @gunsatthaphan, but also amazing posts that add additional context, like @absolutebl's incredibly helpful breakdown of Asian honorifics. There is so much research people do, for fun! And then they share it!

3) The meta analysis

I frickin love reading people's takes and analyses on series. I love learning, I love seeing perspectives from people with different cultural backgrounds to my own, it's all so fascinating! There's so much context we can miss due to our own privileges, or lack of knowing about various cultures, or due to whatever bubbles we've been living in. People here are just so smart, and nuanced, and willing to reflect and think about things, and also push back at each other, but generally with respect (except when you call out the dumb shit you see, usually on Twitter or TikTok, where people are being reductive and dumb about gender and sexuality).

And I've seen a few takes where people complain about analyses, and say that the director/production doesn't do everything deliberately, and we're all reading too much into it. To which I say, eh, lighten up. How people connect to and relate to media has relevance beyond what was intended. The point is we get to think and discuss and learn and grow. That doesn't happen if we don't analyze.

Special shout out here to @respectthepetty because colors mean things!

4) The wild theories

The other side of the analysis coin, the clown cars y'all drive around in with the wildest of theories. I have happily climbed into an occasional clown car, and usually I am utterly wrong (*cough* Saifah *cough*). But it's a super fun ride. I love seeing how people's brains work. I love it when y'all are wrong. I love it when y'all are right. It's beautiful.

5) Immediate acceptance

I am one of those people who knows that I have a lot of good qualities, and also, always kind of expect rejection. Blame the childhood bullies, I guess. Anyway, whenever I delve into a new space, I still feel like a total dork that no one will want to talk to. It's kind of a fraught way to move through the world, but I manage.

Anyway, I started posting my thoughts as they came up, and people are just totally cool with it. People even follow me sometimes. Even my silliest thoughts and dumbest jokes get at least a couple likes. It's so validating.

And my very silly joke about gay mafia in Kiseki has over 800 likes. I feel very seen.

6) Mutuals

I still kind of can't believe I have any. This ties in to the dork feeling above, but seriously - they are soooo cooooool. They're smart and awesome and funny, and they somehow find me worth following back, which is baffling yet wonderful. I want to squish their faces and give them many kisses (if they're into that kind of thing).

7) The self-exploration

I really appreciate how it's become more talked about how a lot of people are discovering queerness through BL, because that is so the case for me. I think it's both that I was in a bit of a hetero bubble before, and also that I'm evolving a bit as I age. I had figured out I was demi, and maybe a little bit gay, before getting in to BL, but being in this community, and seeing so many of you share so openly and freely, has made me realize it might be more than a little bit.

Either it was a new realization, or being around y'all has made me more gay. Win win, either way.

8) The weirdness

I'm weird. Y'all are weird. I love it.

9) The thirst

So many in this community are thirsty as fuck, and as someone who is in that same condition, I love that it's not just me. There are not many places where I can freely admit how horny I am as a part of my general existence.

Here? I could post about wanting to lick some random BL actor's face, and it would get a bunch of likes and some tags like #lickable, and it's just not remotely a big deal.

Also the gifmakers understand this, and give us beautiful cuts of our spicy scenes. They are genuinely too good for us.

10) The communal watching experience

There is absolutely nothing like watching along with people in the community. It is so worth the torture of having to wait week to week for new episodes. Seeing the show trend, watching the theories fly fast and furious, or the way everyone collectively loses their minds over particular moments. In a world that can feel very isolating, it's a very warm experience.

So there you go. Thank you all for being you. Here's to another year of QL shenanigans and losing our collective minds!

[lowkeyremi]

HI! I just wanna say your fics make me happy and I really enjoy reading them!! But what I’m requesting is a Yuji x reader where a short reader becomes self conscious after finding out he said he likes tall girls, she doesn’t bring it up immediately but he can tell something is wrong. (This is kind of stupid but I thought it was cute lmao) i imagine it would be a kind of angst to comfort type of thing :) I would prefer a female reader but anything is fine! 💗

YOUR TYPE yuji itadori x (short) fem!reader

Remi's note: It's not stupid, hon! I'm 5'3" lololol so I can relate in a way :3 Yuji does not know what he's missing out on !!

content: fluff, reader is a little bit insecure, i kinda followed the timeline but it's no where near canon lol

When you transferred to Jujutsu High a certain pink haired student immediately caught your attention. In fact, you believe that his presence demands everyone's attention because of how much of a sunshine boy he is. He's tall, cute, kind, and a little bit naive.

Essentially he's most of what you look for in a guy but you aren't too sure you're what he looks for in a girl. Not after hearing him discuss his type with Todo. "I like a girl who's tall with a big butt, like Jennifer Lawrence!" And while you had the whole big butt thing down (sorry if you don't i'm self indulging here sigh), you don't have the height he mentions.

At first you were okay that.. you can still be his type right? You don't have to be tall. You brought the subject up with Megumi and Nobara one day while the three of you were eating lunch, Yuji was away on a mission. "Do you guys think I might still have a chance with Yuji? I know I'm not tall but..." you trail on trying to think of something to say.

Megumi wants no part in this conversation but gives you his honest answer anyway, "Eh, probably not. You two never really talk to each other. He's honestly kinda awkward around you." A frown breaches your beautiful face and you begin to pick at your food. Nobara thinks differently of the situation.

"Ah, don't listen to dumb old Fushiguro. He doesn't have a girlfriend so he can't give anyone advice. I think you two would look super cute together! If you just talk to him I'm sure you could figure out what's on his mind." Nobara's advice sounds more charming but you also take Megumi's into consideration. Truth be told, you and Yuji don't talk much and he's always nervously laughing around you.

Yuji eventually returns from his mission exhausted. He still comes by to greet everyone though which makes you smile. "Um.. Itadori?" He pauses in his steps to turn around and give you his attention with a weary smile. "Mhm?"

"Do you think I could uh- talk to you sometime tomorrow? Just the two of us?" You gaze at anything in the common room besides him. A sudden wave of nervousness rolls through your gut.

"Um. Yeah, of course! I'm going to head to bed now, goodnight everyone!!" Yuji scurries out of the common room. Was that good? Was it bad? You couldn't get a clear read on him and now you're panicking.

You're able to remain calm though because Panda and Inumaki give you a thumbs up. Nobara smiles at you and whispers, "you got this girl!"

As you were preparing for bed, you had a sudden hope that a black hole would just come and swallow you up before dawn peaks. Worry clouded your ability to rest properly so the night consisted of a lot of tossing and turning. When the sun had barely even peaked through the window you decided to start your day.

Your phone reads 6:53 am. Usually you'd begin your day at around 7:30 but sleep was not an option. Usually rejection didn't phase you much, but you were no longer in a huge school where you could likely avoid a guy who rejected you. Jujutsu High has a total of ten students including you. It would be hard to hide yourself from Yuji after facing rejection.

Once you were properly dressed and had clean teeth you left your dorm room to sit outside and admire the sunrise. You weren't sure how long you had been sitting out there but quiet footsteps gather your attention. The one boy who you were not ready to face yet was standing right behind you, his signature smile gracing his face.

"Mind if I join you for whatever you wanna talk to me about?" You want to tell him no or that you aren't ready yet but you inhale slowly and exhale deeply to rid those negative thoughts from your brain.

You pat the ground next to you motioning for him to join you, "Yeah, be my guest."

He sits down next to you and you sit there trying to think of what you'll say. The silence is awkward and the tension is definitely high. "So I hear you like tall girls." Terrible start. If he rejects you, you won't be surprised.

"Heh, yeah.." You meet those chocolate eyes of his. They hold confusion and the urge to know what you are trying to say.

"Do you.." Pause. How should you go about this? "Do you think that even though I'm not tall I'd still have a chance?" Silence follows your question as Yuji soaks in what you've just said.

You. Like. Him? He's surprised to say the least. Yuji had thought it was the other way around, he didn't believe he had a chance with someone like you. Sure you aren't his usual type but he's fallen for your beauty and your personality all the same.

The silence creates a tight feeling in your chest. He must be trying to find a way to let you down gently right?

"I mean it's totally okay if you don't! I just.. never mind. I think I'll go now." He grabs your wrist before you can try to leave and you look into his eyes wondering what he's thinking.

"You do! Sure you're not that tall but you're cute and funny. I thought I didn't have a chance with you. Oh my gosh a girl just asked me out!!" Relief pours over you almost instantly. So you've been overthinking things.

"You've liked me? For how long?!" He shrugs trying to remember.

"Oh yeah! When Sensei sent you, me, and Fushiguro on a mission together. You were so badass when you exorcised that curse. I was thinking 'damn she's hot as hell'!!!"

A giggle escapes your throat at Yuji's dramatics. He's so sweet and confident and knows what he wants. The fact that he wants you makes your heart swell.

[bteezxyewriter12]

Airhead

Pairing- Seonghwa x Named Reader

Word count- 11k

Includes- Oral, pussy eating, blow job, deep throating, cum eating, missionary (sort of), cock riding, dirty talk, squirting, multiple orgasms, Hongjoong is an annoying but amazing friend, fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxminnie @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@yeosxxx @seokwoosmole @jjongsbebe @wisejudgedragonhairdo @meowmeowminnie @woo-stars @borntowalkaway @usagionthered @san-realblkwife @seonghwasstar @jejeyeppeo @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @prayerofthehaim @realisticnotes @pinkies-things @insomniacatiny @stephy-nicole13

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist 📝Seonghwa Masterlist

J POV

I watch Seonghwa's face morph from a blank look to one that finally gets what Wooyoung is saying

And I just wonder how someone, especially a mechanic, can be so dumb

Seriously, Seonghwa is gorgeous and so hot but he's a complete airhead

He's Hongjoong's roommate

Hongjoong is my best friend

Therefore I see Seonghwa a lot and yeah he's gorgeous, but I could never be with him

He always has a dumb look on his face, is always the last to get anything the guys say, everything has to be explained to him, even jokes

He's also a complete player

Always fucking girl after girl, even when I'm at the apartment with Hongjoong

He does seem like an animal in bed though

He's what people would call a male version of a bimbo

Hot, dumb and likes sex

I mean he's nice and all and he'd be good for a fuck but to date?

I'd lose way too many brain cells that I need

So I just oogle him then roll my eyes when he's acting dumb

"Be nice", Hongjoong whispers in my ear

"I am. I'm not saying anything"

"Stop rolling your eyes at him. He'll see then I'm gonna have to spend ten minutes dodging his questions of why you don't seem to like him"

I sigh, trying not to roll my eyes again

That's another thing

Seonghwa somehow got in his head that I don't like him

I don't know why

I'm not outright mean to him

I'm nice, I don't make him feel bad for being stupid, I don't roll my eyes when I speak to him and he says dumb things

I have some conversation with him

Simple ones

But he has it in his head that I don't like him and no matter how many times Hongjoong assures him I do he just doesn't believe it for some reason

I mean he's not my bestie or whatever but he's a friend

"C'mon Jo, cut the eye rolling out. It's not nice"

I huff, "I can't help it sometimes. I don't even know I'm doing it"

"Sure"

"I don't!", I protest

It's true

It's just like a habit and sometimes I do it without knowing

"Yeah ok Jo"

"Whatever", I answer

"That's the spirit", he says sarcastically

"If you two are quite done arguing", San interjects, "Were all ready to leave for the club"

I roll my eyes again

Purposely

"Yeah we're done", Hongjoong answers

"Honestly you two argue like an old married couple", Yeosang says

"Yeah. You two should date with the amount of times you argue", Wooyoung laughs

"Yeah no thanks", I answer

Hongjoong and I actually tried dating a few years ago

It did not work out and we decided to stay just friends

The sex was good though and we have been known to fuck now and again

He's good in bed but not a good boyfriend

For me anyway

And apparently I wasn't a good girlfriend for him

It's fine, while he can be a jerk, he's my best friend, we're there for each other for anything and we love each other

Platonically

"Absolutely not", Hongjoong shakes his head, "I can't deal with that all the time"

"That? I'm a that?", I snap

"When you're acting like a nut yeah you're a that"

I narrow my eyes at him

What a jerk

"As if you're so easy to fucking deal with"

"I'm a peach compared to you", he snorts

"Yeah a soft rotten peach", I scowl

"Alright children", Yunho says loudly, "Back to your corners for now. We're leaving"

Some of the guys stand up and start leaving the restaurant

Standing up, I catch Seonghwa's look on his face

He's looking down and slight upset

Wonder if he's ok

I shrug it off as he stands up, his head lifting, catching my gaze

He smiles, which knocks the breath out of me, then turns and follows Wooyoung

My god he's hot and that smile is gorgeous

But it's just looks, no substance

Sad

"Let's go you nut", Hongjoong nudges me

"Sure thing peach", I say sarcastically

"Hey, be nice or I'll leave you here"

"You would never", I threaten

"Try me", he snorts as we leave the restaurant, "You can get an Uber there"

"You jerk!"

"Oh god what now?", Wooyoung whines

"I'm about to leave her here", Hongjoong grumbles

"He wouldn't dare!", I exclaim

"How would she get to the club?", San asks

"She has Uber", Hongjoong answers

"Stop being a jerk Hongjoong! You started it!"

"Uh, I uh...I can take you. To the club", Seonghwa's voice intervenes

I turn my attention to him, where he's standing next to Jongho, his hands in his pockets

"If you want", he says, "If he's being mean. You can come with me"

"I am not being mean!", Hongjoong yells

"Yeah ok", I tell Seonghwa

Hongjoong is being annoying and I know if I get in his car we're just going to be arguing all the way to the club

It'll be a total mood killer

"What! Joanne!", Hongjoong exclaims

"I'm going with Hwa", I tell him, glaring

"You know what? Fine!", he yells, then looks at Seonghwa, "Good fucking luck. She's your problem now"

"Fuck you!", I shout as he walks to his car

"It's ok Jo", Seonghwa says, suddenly right next to me, "He's just being a jerk. You know he would never leave you here alone"

I know this but why does he have to start shit?

"C'mon Jo. My car's this way"

I glare in the direction of Hongjoong's car then follow Seonghwa to his

--------------------------------

"Give me a shot of vodka!", I yell at the bartender over the loud club music, "And a margarita!"

It's so fucking crowded here

As soon as we got here the guys dispersed

I'm ignoring Hongjoong

Jongho is holding down the couches we were able to get

Yeosang, Yunho and Mingi are dancing

Wooyoung and San are looking for girls to fuck

Yunho is at one of the bars trying to get drinks

And I have no clue where Seonghwa went off to

The ride here was pleasant

Seonghwa didn't say much, just kept the music on which mellowed me out a bit after the argument with my idiot best friend

It was nice

When we got here we met up with the guys then he disappeared

I went to the bathroom and now I'm here waiting for drinks

My feet hurt already in these heels

I'm not a heel person

I'm not really a club person either but I go because the guys want to

It's an excuse to dress slutty and drink so it's not all bad

I stand off to the side of the bar waiting for my drinks when a guy appears next to me, squeezing his way in

Rude

He shouts some order to the bartender then of course looks around him and spots me

Great

His eyes widen and he smirks

Here we go

"Hi", he shouts

"No", I yell, shaking my head

I'm so not in the mood to entertain a drunk

I'm not looking to fuck tonight either

He leans closer, "You're really pretty"

I move my head back, the smell of alcohol invading my nose

"Thanks but no", I answer

"No? You're not dressed like it's a no"

Of course

Typical idiot guy

He smirks, his fingers flicking the chains that are holding my shirt together

"Nice tits"

"Fuck off", I growl

His hand tugs on one of the chains on my skirt, "These could be fun"

Yeah if I choke the life from him with it

I step back, making some space between us

"Fuck off", I repeat

He just laughs, his hand reaching out to touch me again

Suddenly a hand grabs his, stopping him inches from my skin

"Do not touch her", a voice growls dangerously

I look up, shocked to see Seonghwa

And man, he looks pissed

He pushes the guy's hand away, standing slightly in front of me, "Fuck off or I'll make you fuck off"

I gape at the hard look on Seonghwa's face

He looks like he's going to fuck this guy up

The guy snorts, "What are you going to do?"

Seonghwa steps up to him, right in his face

Seonghwa is tall so he towers over the guy

"Try to touch her and fucking find out", he threatens

Not gonna lie, this is kinda hot

Of course leave it to me to find this alpha male shit attractive

Well..maybe it's just attractive on Seonghwa

"And who the fuck are you?", the guy snarls

"She's with me. Back off"

Seonghwa and the guy glare at one another, neither backing down

I really hope there's not a fight

I don't want Seonghwa to get hurt

Although my money is on him, this guy could land a punch or two

"Hey, what's going on?", a guy shouts coming over to the one who tried to hit on me

"He's threatening to kick my ass", he drunk guy snorts, his friend looking over at Seonghwa

"If you touch her again, I will", Seonghwa snarls

The friend looks at the drunk guy sighing, "Again Hyuk? What the fuck man? Why are you always going after someone's girl?"

Apparently he does this often

"She was here alone man"

"Obviously not", his friend rolls his eyes

The friend looks at Seonghwa, "Look I'm sorry. He's a fucking idiot"

"He touched her", Seonghwa growls, "Twice and tried for a third after she backed away. He's lucky I didn't break his fucking fingers"

Holy shit

I've never seen Seonghwa like this, never heard him speak like this

Come to think of it, I haven't seen him angry before

But right now, the rage is radiating off him

"I hear you", the friend says, "I'm really sorry. I'll keep him away"

"Yeah do that"

The friend pulls the drunk guy away, who whines that he didn't get his drink yet

"You don't need more, you fuckwad. You were almost killed, you idiot"

They disappear and Seonghwa turns around to me, his body still tense

"Are you ok?", he asks worriedly

"Yeah Hwa. I'm fine", I nod, "Thanks. For helping"

He nods, "Of course. I wouldn't let anyone hurt you"

I raise my eyebrow at that but it's sweet and yeah it melts my cold heart a little

"Thanks", I smile

He gives me a soft one then asks, "Did you get your drink?"

I shake my head then glance at the bar

"Bartender didn't even make it yet. I think he forgot about me"

"I'll get it for you", he says but I shake my head

"Nah it's ok. After that idiot I'm not too keen on getting drunk right now"

He nods, "Yeah ok. Do you wanna go back to the seats?"

I shake my head

I don't want to sit and watch people

"Would you uh....maybe ...wanna dance?", he asks shyly

"Me?", I ask surprised

He nods

Why the hell not?

We're at a club after all

"Yeah Hwa ok"

He slowly reaches for my hand, taking it

I squeeze his reassuringly, smiling at him

He smiles his beautiful smile, then tugs my hand, leading me to the dance floor

--------------------------------

It's so hot here and I'm sweating so much

But fuck, I'm not stopping

Seonghwa is a fucking amazing dancer

We started out dancing with space between us but as the time went by we got closer and closer

Now my arms are around his neck, his are around my waist, one of his hands on my ass as we grind into each other

His black hair is so sweaty, sticking to his forehead, looking so fucking hot

There are bodies all around us, bumping into us but it's like it's just the two of us in the room

Girls have tried to cut in, wanting to dance with him but he just shakes his head and keeps his hold on me tighter

I'm given dirty look after dirty look but I just smirk at them

There is this one girl though that keeps trying

I think she's like his go to dance partner or something

Maybe a fuck buddy but I've never seen her before

She keeps getting rejected but doesn't get the hint

Another airhead

But whatever, Seonghwa's still dancing with me and that's all that matters

Turning in his arms, he pulls me closer to him, my ass against his dick

His hard dick

I just smirk and keep on dancing

His hand stays on my hip, his other sliding up my body, moving under the chains that hold my shirt together, in between my boobs

I don't know why I'm letting him touch me like this but I am

I like it, his warm hand against my skin, his head next to mine, his breath on my shoulder

God, I'm so turned on

The song changes as we dance and I get lost in my own world with Seonghwa

But then his hand disappears from my hip and I feel him moving away from me

His hand leaves my shirt and I turn around to see that girl tugging him away, pouting

"My turn", she shouts to him but he shakes his head

She doesn't let up, moving her arms around his neck, pressing her body to him while he tries to pry her off him and move away

Rage like I never felt before hits me hard

Is this what he was feeling when that loser tried to touch me because if so, I understand why he was so pissed

I move fast, grabbing her arm and pulling her off him

I get between them, pushing him back behind me, yelling, "Back the fuck off!"

"He's mine!", she shouts

Oh god, is she delusional?

"He said no"

"He's always with me until your skanky ass came! Go away"

I shake my head, the anger building, "He said no. Fuck off"

He shook his head so many times, he rejected her so many times, what doesn't she get?

And her throwing herself at him is just pathetic

She narrows her eyes and the next thing I know she shoves me backward

I teeter back in my heels, Seonghwa catching me before I fall and helping me back upright

"Jagi, you ok?", he asks but I don't answer

I'm furious

Straightening up, I pull my arm back and punch the girl right in the center of her face

Pain runs up my arm but the satisfying sight of her falling down and screaming makes it better

Fucking bitch doesn't know who she's fucking with

If she thinks she's gonna shove me and nothing's gonna happen to her she has another thing coming

She's a crying heap on the floor, blood running from her nose but I'm not done

I start moving towards her, when Seonghwa grabs my hand, pulling me back to him

"Don't Jo. It's ok. I'm ok. Just come with me. Please"

I hesitate, glaring at the girl, torn between beating the crap out of her or listening to Seonghwa

Seonghwa tilts my face to him, the worry in his eyes snapping out of my rage

"Please, come with me"

I nod, relief blooming on his face

He tugs me away and I follow him

We pass the guys at the couches, one of the bars and we make it outside of the club

We move to the side of the club where other people who were already let in are taking a break

"Are you ok?", he asks, turning to me

I raise my eyebrow, "Uh, yeah. Are you? She kinda just sexually harassed you"

"I'm fine. Shit like that happens all the time"

It does?

That has to be so annoying

"Well I'm sorry for that. And uh sorry if she's like your girlfriend or something. I just got mad when she wouldn't stop after you said no"

"She's not anything to me. Just a girl that frequents the clubs I go to. I dance with her sometimes but that's all"

"You don't fuck her?"

He shakes his head, "She seems.... unhinged and I know adding sex to it will just make her crazy"

Yeah no shit

"Thanks for defending me", he says, smiling shyly, "It was kinda hot"

I burst out laughing, "Yeah well I felt the same when you did it"

His smile widens although his cheeks do turn a cute shade of pink

Huh, Seonghwa blushing

Never thought I'd see that

"Do you wanna go back inside?", he asks after a few minutes

I shake my head, "That kinda killed the vibe. I think I'll call an Uber and go home"

"I'll take you", he says softly

I want him too but I'm not gonna be selfish

It's still kinda early and he can go have more fun with the guys

"Nah, it's ok. You don't have to cut your night short because of me. You go have fun, I'll find a way home. Don't worry"

He shakes his head, "It's not cutting anything short. I want to. It's really not a problem. Ok?"

He's looking at me with a small encouraging smile on his face and I give in

"Ok but only if you want to"

"I do", he says, nodding

"Ok"

"Great", he smiles wider, "I'll go get your jacket and bag. I'll be right back"

I'm about to protest and tell him I can get it but he's already gone

I don't know what's happening but this is the most time I've ever spent with Seonghwa and I'm realizing I may have a little crush on the airhead

--------------------------------

His car pulls up to my apartment building, putting the car in park

"Thanks for doing this. You didn't have to"

"Anytime", he says, glancing over at me

The whole ride home was quiet again, with music but I couldn't concentrate

The only thing I kept asking myself was if I was gonna ask him to come in with me or not

And I decided I'm asking

If nothing else, then maybe I can experience the animal I hear when he's fucking and I'm at their apartment

"You wanna come with me?", I ask

He bites his lip, "I do but is that what you want? I don't want you to ask because you feel you have to. It's cool"

I shake my head, shocked at how sweet he is, "It's what I want Hwa. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't what I want. I don't do the pity thing"

"Yeah I should of known", he chuckles, "I'll park the car if you wanna wait in the lobby?"

I shake my head, "I'll stay here with you. We'll go together"

"Ok", he answers

He finds a spot a few spaces down and I'm flabbergasted

"How did you get this spot so easily? Hongjoong has to circle around and around to find a spot"

"Just lucky, I guess", he shrugs

He parks and we get out

Once he's near me, I take his hand and lead him to the building

The wall and elevator ride is quiet, as is when we first get into my apartment

"So basically this is the living room. Kitchen is there", I point, "Bathroom is second door on the right in the hall and my bedroom is at the end of the hall"

"It's nice", he says, looking around

"Thanks", I answer, putting my jacket away in the coat closet

I kick the heels off into the closet too, it feeling so fucking good when my feet sink into the carpet

No more pain

"You can put your jacket and sneakers in here", I tell him

He nods doing just that, then comes to stand in front of me

And cue the awkward silence

I don't know where to look, so I settle on the carpet between us

After a minute, his hand moves, tugging on the chains on my shirt

Well this shirt is popular

"Are you gonna stop teasing me now?", he says softly

My eyes snap to his, wondering what he's talking about

His fingers pull the chain through one of the loops of the shirt, undoing it

"Are you gonna stop showing me what I can't have when you wear clothes like this?"

Wait what?

The chain is pulled through another loop then another

"Are you finally gonna let me have you?"

My mind is blanking as his fingers move the chain through the shirt

I had no idea he even thought about me at all, let alone wanted to fuck me

"I know what you think of me", he says, "You think I'm dumb, I'm a player, an airhead"

How the fuck does he know that?

I have never said anything like that to him and I know Hongjoong would never tell him I think of him like that

"Maybe I am but I promise you, I can fuck you so good, make you cum so hard that I'll be the only one you want in between you legs from now on"

Holy shit

My knees are shaky and I'm so turned on, my panties soaked

He's fucking sexy as fuck

"So are you gonna stop driving me fucking crazy and let me show you I can be everything you want?"

I look at him, his eyes swirling with desire, lust, confidence and affection

Affection?

What?

"Are you?", he whispers

"Yes", I tell him, wanting him so much

He smiles then his lips are against mine, kissing me wildly

My body burns with fire from his lips, shooting to every nerve, my head spinning

I grab onto his shirt to keep myself steady as his arms move around me, pressing me against him

I kiss him back eagerly, his tongue slipping in and playing with mine as I moan in his mouth

His hands slide down to my ass, lifting me up

I lock my arms around his neck, my legs around his waist as I plunge my fingers in his soft hair, kissing him desperately

He breaks the kiss, immediately walking toward the hallway and in the direction of my room

He gently places me on the bed, moving on top of me

He grabs the chain and pulls it through the final loops of the shirt then tossed it away

He moves his hands to my hips and very slowly slides them up, my skin trembling under his fingers

He gets to my shirt, moving it open, his eyes on my boobs, biting his lip

He squeezes softly, his hands cool against my hot skin

"Fuck", he whispers, "After all that teasing, they're so much better than I imagined"

"Imagined?", I ask

He nods, "I wanted you from the first time I saw you"

What?

That was like five years ago

"And every time you wore an outfit like tonight's you drove me fucking insane"

He leans down, pressing kisses in between my boobs, his lips leaving fire in every fucking cell, lighting my entire body up

"But you never paid attention to me", he says, kissing all over my boob, getting closer and closer to my nipple and driving me crazy, "I was ok with it at first. I didn't know you and it wasn't anything more than sexual attraction"

I'm hanging on every word, while desperately wanting him to get his mouth on my nipple

But he doesn't, instead switching to my other boob, kissing it and making me whimper

"But once I got to know you, I hated it. I just wanted you to notice me"

"I did", I moan, "I did"

Of course I noticed him

He's flawless

"Not the way I wanted you to", he murmurs, now kissing my neck, his hands still around my boobs, "You thought I was hot. Like every other girl does. That wasn't what I wanted. I wanted you to see me"

I honestly have no idea about any of this

I don't think Hongjoong even knows this

"And when you did notice me, I knew you thought I was dumb. A hot dumb man whore"

Well he's not wrong

But if that's how he acts then what am I supposed to think?

"What...what did you want me to notice you as?", I ask, his kisses so fucking good

"I can't tell you", he says

I stop him from kissing me, lifting his face to mine

"Tell me", I ask softly

He looks so vulnerable, so unsure and it's shocking me to my core

I've never seen him like this

He looks away as he mutters, "I want you to see me like someone you'd want to be with. Like a boyfriend"

Before tonight I'd say there's no way

That I can't be with someone who's clueless like him

But that was before he protected me, defended me, before he was sweet to me, before he went out of his way to take me home, before he made sure I was comfortable with him coming in

Before I became jealous of that girl who was touching him

And as I look at him I realize I really like him

And I'm all for seeing where this goes with him

"I do Hwa", I whisper, "I do now"

He hesitates, "Are you sure?"

"Hey", I say softly, "I don't do the pity thing remember?"

He nods slowly

"I do see you that way Seonghwa"

"Yeah?"

"Yes", I confirm

He nods, "I'll show you I can be what you want Jo"

I shake my head, "No Hwa, just be you. I don't want you to be anything other than yourself"

He smiles, "I can do that"

"Good baby"

With that, I pull him closer, kissing his soft beautiful lips, melting against him

His lips move from mine to my neck and down, leaving a trail of hot kisses behind

His mouth finally moves around my nipple, sucking softly on it

My body arches into his, moaning loudly, my fingers sliding in his hair

He sucks for awhile, then switches, licking my other nipple before sucking too, pleasure running up my spine

Fuck his mouth is so good

When he finally pulls away, I manage to sit up on my knees, shrugging the rest of my shirt off and throwing it off my bed

I grab him by his shirt and pull him to me, my lips crashing against his

I seriously cannot get enough of kissing him

He kisses me back as I start undoing the buttons of his black button down shirt

I move my fingers as fast as I can but it's not fast enough for me

When there's like three buttons left, I just grab both sides and pull them apart, the buttons popping off and clinking in the room, swallowing the moan he lets out

I'll fix his shirt tomorrow, I'll buy him another one, I'll do whatever, I don't care, I just want it off

Pushing it off his broad shoulders, I toss it with my shirt, then leaving his beautiful lips, I press kisses against his neck

"Fuck baby", he whines as I move my arms around him and press myself as close to him as I can, his soft skin against mine

His arms move around me, holding me while my hands explore the expanse of his back, his muscles rippling under my fingers

Fuck, it feels good

I continue trailing my kisses over his shoulders and all over his chest, wanting to kiss every inch of his perfect skin

As I kiss him, I slide my hands around to the front of him, my fingers trailing all over his chiseled abs

Jesus Christ, it feels like they were carved into him

I shamelessly feel him up then move my hands down to his belt, undoing it

I manage to get his jeans open before he moves me on my back again, his hands pulling down my skirt and panties as he kisses my neck

Once they're off, his lips trail down my body, kissing as much of my skin as he can

I close my eyes, whimpering and breathing hard from how good it feels

His arm moves around my waist, lifting me up as his free hand pushes my legs open

When he gets between my legs, I feel his wet tongue lick up my pussy slowly, pleasure making me gasp

Oh fuck

His tongue speeds up, licking fast, switching between using his whole tongue and just the tip

My god, he's good at eating pussy

He slides his tongue up, rolling it over my clit and can't help but cry out in bliss

It feels fucking amazing

His tongue stays there, flicking faster and faster, my legs shaking, watching him eat me out

He looks like he's actually enjoying himself, content between my legs

And he looks so fucking hot there too

His mouth moves around my clit sucking once then lavishing more licks

So good

"Hwa", I whimper and he lets out a loud moan, his eyes closing, as his tongue keeps moving

"Say it again", he pleads in between licks, "Please, say my name again"

"Hwa", I repeat, lost in the pleasure his tongue is giving me

He groans into me, his free hand digging into my thigh as his tongue moves faster than I thought he could go

He drops his tongue down, sliding it in my hole, my mind blanking from how incredible it feels

"Hwa", I cry, my hand burying in his hair, pushing his face into my cunt as much as possible

He tongue fucks me fast, making me wetter and wetter every second, bringing me closer and closer, my pussy clenching around his tongue with each thrust inside

His tongue is fucking magical

My hips move on their own, grinding into his mouth as intense pleasure washes over me

"Seonghwa!", I yell, coming around his tongue, pulsing around it, my fingers twisting in his hair

He moans so loudly, tongue not stopping as he pumps it in and out of me

As my orgasm finishes, Seonghwa licks up my pussy, his mouth wrapping around my clit and sucking hard, throwing me right back into intense bliss

"Seonghwa! Oh fuck, Seonghwa"

"Mmm jagi, fuck, love this little swollen throbbing clit", he murmurs, "So fucking good to suck on"

I pant hard, his words turning me on even more

"God jagi, you're making me so hard", he groans, "Can't wait to fuck this tiny pussy open"

"Seonghwa", I moan, moving my hips, fucking his face as he keeps his tongue against my clit while he sucks, ecstacy plowing through me

His free hand travels up my body softly, his fingers making heat burst in every single cell

I can't help watching him, watch his jaw move as he's sucks and it's so fucking erotic

His eyes slowly move up to mine, meeting my gaze and holding it

His mouth doesn't stop, slurping on my clit as he looks at me

His eyes hypnotize me, I'm falling into their beautiful brown color

I brush the hair out of his face, keeping a hold on it as his mouth brings me right there, his fingers softly grazing the skin on my side

"Seonghwa", I whimper, closing my eyes as my orgasm wracks through my body

His mouth sucks harder, my body arching from the bed, crying his name louder, the pleasure shutting my mind off

It's so fucking good, better than good

As it passes, Seonghwa let's go of my clit and licks along my cunt, moaning into me, "Tastes so fucking good jagi. Fuck, so sweet, fuck"

It registers that he likes the way I taste and that's surprising

And completely hot

His tongue stops and he moves up on his knees

"Can I fuck you now?", he asks softly, "Please, I need to be inside you"

My eyes widen in shock at the pleading in his voice and all I can do is nod

He stands, getting his jeans and boxers down, then gets back on the bed before I can see his dick

Grabbing my legs, he pushes them till my knees are at my chest, then he holds onto my ankles, pushing the rest of my legs up

Moving closer to me, his cock pushes inside

"Oh oh fuck", I moan as he slides in slowly, his cock stretching me out, the pleasure so acute

My god he has a big dick

A big fat dick

I feel every inch that he pushes into me, my cunt taking him eagerly, sucking him in

"Oh my fucking god", he moans loudly, "Oh my god, baby. So good. Fuck. Fuck...so ngl...fffff"

I know exactly how he feels

He keeps going until he bottoms out, so deep in my pussy, his fat head right against my spot

My cunt squeezes his cock so hard, the pretty sounds coming from his mouth, so loud

"My god, how do you feel this good?", he whimpers, keeping himself inside me, "Fuck, it's never felt that good going inside a pussy before. Jesus, you have to be the tightest cunt I've ever been inside of"

I mean he is the biggest I've ever taken

Hongjoong is pretty big but I think Seonghwa is bigger

There was some room with Hongjoong

There's absolutely no room with Seonghwa, with him barely fitting inside, his cock touching all the right places

"I'm gonna move baby, ok?"

I nod, so anxious to feel him more, "Please"

His cock drags out of me, shivers running up my spine from the bliss

He thrusts back in slowly but hits so deep inside, smashing my spot right away

"Fff...fuck", I whimper, holding onto the sheets

He pulls out again then in, then out, then in, moving a touch faster with each stroke

The bliss running through me is fucking amazing, an intensity I've never felt before

He's going in so deep, it's like I can feel him in my stomach and I fucking love it

"Feels so good jagi", he groans, his grip on my ankles tightening, "Pretty tight little pussy feels so fucking good"

His hips slam into me, the pleasure taking over my entire body

"Seonghwa", I whimper, feeling so good

"Yeah baby fuck, say my name", he groans, "Fuck, I love hearing you say my name"

He pulls my legs down, over his, leaning back on his hand, his hips thrusting faster, splitting my pussy on his fat cock

I have a clear view of him and it's like watching a fucking angel

His body slightly arches as he's still on his knees, his head tilted back, eyes closed, mouth slightly open, moaning so beautifully

His body is covered in a light sheen of sweat, defining his muscles, his free hand holding my hip hard as he fucks into me

I feel my cunt get soaked with every move of his cock, getting closer

I'm surprised

Only one guy has ever made me cum with just his dick

Hongjoong

But it seems that Seonghwa has that skill too

My cunt pulses quickly around his hard dick, his moans so loud

"Fuck, you got so tight. Gonna cum?", he asks

"Yes", I cry, my hands twisting in my sheets

His hips move faster, fucking me right into the intense orgasm

"Seonghwa!", I cry, pleasure slamming into me hard, taking my breath away

His cock keeps moving into me, right into my spot, keeping me in bliss as I repeat his name over and over

"Fuck, you're so fucking gorgeous when you cum", he murmurs

I look up, seeing him watching me, his tongue poking out from the side of his lip

It's so stupidly hot

When the pleasure leaves my body, I sit up, moving off his cock

Before he can do anything, his cock is in my mouth and I'm sucking hard around him

"Shit", he groans, "Fuck...fuck"

His other hand moves behind him, leaning back on both hands and I feel his eyes on me, knowing he's watching

My hand wraps around the part of his cock not in my mouth, jerking him off in time with my sucking

His dick is so big, so thick, so heavy, filling my mouth to the brim

He's also so hard making him incredibly easy to suck on

Pulling off his dick, I lick from his base to his head, listening to the pretty sounds coming from his mouth

I run my tongue over his slit, licking up the cum that he's leaking, moaning at how good he tastes

Wrapping my mouth around his head, I suck over and over, moving down his thick length

His cock throbs in my mouth as I play on his dick, my hand moving up and down quickly

"Oh god", he cries, one of his hands moving in my hair, holding on

Removing my hand, I push down more on his dick, determined to deep throat him

I can do it to Hongjoong, I can do it to him too

Holding onto his hips, I slowly take him in an inch at a time, stopping to get used to him as he goes in deeper

His cock hits the back of my throat, slipping in just a little, tears springing to my eyes

I choke around his dick, spit sliding down the rest of his shaft while I get my throat under control

"Shit jagi, are you ok?", he asks, trying to pull back

I keep him in place, nodding to answer him

When my throat is relaxed, I continue my descent down his cock, breathing in through my nose as his length moves into my throat more and more

And he's just moaning loudly, panting hard, making me smile inside

He's not the only one who's good at sex

Finally, I bottom him out, sucking softly, getting used to him deep in my throat before I begin moving

"Fuck baby", he pants, "Fuck, you're so fucking insane. Nnnn.. no one has ever been able to deep throat me"

I look up at him, smirking around his dick

"God, you look so pretty with my dick in your mouth", he murmurs, his eyes full of desire, "So fucking pretty"

I smile to myself, getting ready to move

I slip up his cock about half way, then surge down, taking all of him in my throat again

"Fuck!", he shouts, his thighs shaking and I take that as my cue to start moving

Bobbing up and down his cock, I feel every inch gliding in and out of my mouth, the sensation surprisingly pleasurable for me

Obviously it's pleasurable for him as he's shouting his head off in bliss

"Fuck baby, fuck, your mouth is so good", he moans, his fingers tightening in my hair, "Fuck, never been blown this good before. Fuck, don't stop"

I'm definitely not, moving faster along his dick, sucking and swallowing a few times every time I bury him in my throat

I love his cock in my mouth, I love the sounds he's making, I love the way his hand is pulling my hair

"I...I can't...I can't last", he whines, "Fuck, it's too good. Gonna make me blow my load so quickly. Fuck"

I move desperately on his dick, wanting nothing more than to swallow his cum

"I'm coming. Fuck...should I get out?", he cries

To answer, I bottom him out in my throat, sucking hard on his length

"Fuck! Joanne, fuck!", he yells, his fat cock throbbing in my mouth, cum shooting down my throat

I swallow over and over, his cum tasting so good

Fuck, I could suck his cock everyday if he'd let me

When he finishes, I start to pull him out of my mouth when he stops me

"No baby, please. Suck my dick more", he begs

Not gonna lie, that's a little weird

In my experience, a guy doesn't want to be sucked on after he cums

It's too sensitive for them

Guess not for Seonghwa or he powers through it until it feels good again

Still, I blow him, changing between deepthroat bobs, swallows and sucking

Slowly his cock gets hard in my mouth again and I go at it harder, his dick like a big fat lollipop

Once he's hard, he tugs on my hair, gently pulling me off him

"I need to be inside you again", he whimpers

Yes please

I move over him, pushing him on his back, my lips against his soft ones

His hands move into my hair, holding on, kissing me back just as eagerly

Moving my hand between us, I move his dick to my entrance and sink down on him

"Mmmmmm", he moans in my mouth as I slide down his cock, feeling his length open me up so pleasurably

I bottom him out, groaning against his lips, his head nestled snuggly against my spot

I move my hips, rocking on him, rubbing my spot on his head

His hands slide down my back, his fingers leaving heat in every cell, stopping at my hips, helping me move on him

My pussy clenches around his fat dick so hard with every rock, pleasure running up my spine

I still can't believe how good he feels

How it feels like he's made for me, made to be inside me

Breaking the kiss, I sit up, getting ready to ride him

His eyes slowly move from my hips up my body to my face, his eyes gazing into mine

"You're so fucking beautiful", he whispers, "Perfect"

I feel my face flush as I shyly tell him, "You're beautiful too Hwa"

His cheeks blush as he smiles softly

I move my hands from his shoulders down to his chest and lower to his abs

Leaning on him, I slide up this dick to his head then sink back down, clenching his cock purposely over and over as I bottom him out

"Oh fuck", he gapes, watching me bounce on him, "How...how is your pussy....squeezing again and again?"

I smirk at him, "I like sex too Hwa. I'm good at it just like you"

He nods, panting, "You are. Fuck. Feels so good"

He's right about that

He feels so good, his cock so good to bounce on, so good to squeeze, his dick going so deep inside me, hitting my spot every time

"Hwa", I moan, closing my eyes and bouncing harder, grinding on his cock every time I take him back in

My mind is shutting off, my head in the clouds from the bliss he's giving me

"So pretty", he whines, "You're so fucking gorgeous, riding my cock so hard. Fuck, I don't want to leave your pussy"

"Don't wanna get off your cock", I whimper, keeping a hard steady pace, his rock hard cock bringing me closer with each bounce

"Fuck, you're gonna cum", he groans, "I...I'm gonna cum too. I can't...I can't last another of your orgasms. Feels too good"

It feels too good?

Seriously?

Mind blown

"Wher-"

"In my pussy", I whimper, my eyes opening and landing on his, "Cum in my pussy"

He nods, his hands helping me bounce on him

It's so hot in here, I'm covered in sweat but I can't stop

He feels too fucking amazing

I move my hands behind me, leaning on his legs as I fuck his cock right into my orgasm

I scream his name as pure ecstasy slams into me, my vision turning white as I squirt all over him

I feel myself gush all over his dick, his lap, my brain turning off as I ride it out on his cock

"Yes fuck. So pretty", he gasps, "Pretty squirting pussy. Fuck, soak my cock baby"

He thrusts up into me, fucking me as his cock throbs hard inside me

"I'm coming", he shouts, sheathing his cock inside me, "I'm coming in your pussy! Fuck Joanne! Fuck!"

I force myself to focus on him, watching him

He's fucking ethereal

He's so sweaty, his hair, his body, glistening all over him

His head pressed back into the bed, eyes closed, mouth slightly open as he moans, pleasure all over this face

Simply stunning

His warm sticky cum shoots deep inside me and it feels so good

I squeeze his cock over and over, milking him for all of it

His body shakes as he finishes, then goes limp on the bed, his muscular chest rising quickly

I kiss his cheek, then move off of him

"One..minute", he breathes, trying to catch his breath

"Yeah Hwa", I answer, "I'll be right back"

I go to the bathroom to clean up and use it

When I finish, I grab a hand towel and wet it, then go back to my room

He's still laying in the same spot, his breathing normal, his eyes still closed

Sitting next to him, I use the towel to clean him cause I kinda left a mess all over his lap

His eyes open slowly, murmuring a thank you

I run my fingers in his hair, smiling and telling him not to worry about it

He smiles back, then slowly sits up

"I should go", he says quietly

Yes he should

However, I don't want him too

I want to know if what he was saying before was true

If he really wants me to see him like a boyfriend

If he really wants to be with me

That's not a conversation for now, it's one for tomorrow

I also want to know what it's like to sleep in his arms

"Don't go Hwa", I say softly, his eyes moving to mine, surprise in them, "Stay with me tonight"

"Are...are you sure?", he asks hesitantly

I nod, "I'm sure. If that's what you want"

"It is", he says shyly, "So much"

"Ok", I smile, "It's late, I think I'm gonna sleep"

"Ok. Me too", he answers

I give him one of my pillows, him laying it next to mine

We get under the covers and I waste no time in turning my body to his, laying my head on his shoulder, my face nuzzling in his neck and cuddling into him, his skin so soft and smooth

His arms immediately move around me, snuggling into me too, holding me tightly

"Night Hwa"

"Night Jo"

I close my eyes, feeling so comfortable in his arms and I know I'm gonna have a great night's sleep

--------------------------------

I wake up, groggily opening my eyes

And I notice I'm alone in my bed

Sitting up, I look for Seonghwa but he's not in my room

Did he really leave?

I can't help the pang of disappointment hitting my chest

After the things he said last night, I assumed he wanted to..date

And I actually was excited for that, especially after spending time with him all last night before we came to my apartment

Although he could of also just said those things to get in my pants

If that was the reason then he succeeded

And it sucks

Or he could have work

It's a Sunday though and I don't know if his mechanic shop is open on Sundays

I sigh, getting up and putting on some PJs

Grabbing my phone, I check it on the way to the bathroom

Nothing

No messages from him

After using the bathroom, I head to my kitchen, trying to decide if I should text him or not

Hear his reasons for bailing while I was asleep

Walking into my kitchen, I look up at the "good morning" I hear

Seonghwa is setting my little kitchen table with plates and breakfast foods, wearing just his boxers

I pinch my arm to make sure I'm awake and this isn't a dream

"You do realize you have absolutely no food here right? I couldn't cook anything and had to order instead"

"I ...uh...didn't get to go shopping yet", I answer, dumbfounded that he's still here and apparently wanted to make breakfast for me

No guy had ever done that before

"Really?", he teases

I blush, "Ok ok. I can't cook for shit. I just buy snacks and food to heat up. And order out"

He chuckles, shaking his head, "I'll cook for you then"

I raise my eyebrows as my brain penetrates his words, making my heart beat faster at what they imply

"Are you hungry? Wanna eat?", he asks

I nod, sitting down, still dumbfounded this is happening

I take a look at the table and he got so much- waffles, eggs, bacon, toast, donuts, bagels, cream cheese, muffins

And in front of my plate is a mug of tea

"How did you-", I start, pointing at the mug

"Hongjoong", he says, blushing, "He complains how you never drink coffee but make your tea like it's coffee"

I roll my eyes, "He's so annoying"

"I agree", he nods

We both get the food we want and start to eat in silence

He keeps looking at me nervously and I'm doing the same thing, not knowing how to bring up last night

He does a little cough and I look up, meeting his gaze

"So uh...about last night", he says softly, hope in his eyes

"I mean what I said", I answer, "I see you as someone I want to be with Hwa. If that's what you want?"

He nods, "It is. So much. I...I really like you"

I smile, reaching out for his hand and he takes mine, "I really like you too Hwa"

"Yeah?", he asks, shyly

I nod, "Yeah"

"Ok"

"Ok", he smiles

We go back to eating, still holding hands and honestly I'm happy

"So can I ask you something?", I ask

He nods, "Yeah"

"How....how are you being so different? You're not acting like...you usually do. You didn't all last night either"

I'm pretty sure he's not dumb like he seems

So is it an act?

Or does he just have dumb moments?

"You mean like an airhead?"

I blush hard, so ashamed I thought of him like that

"I'm sorry Hwa-"

"It's ok jagi. I know why you thought like that. I can act like an airhead sometimes"

"But you're not?", I question

He laughs, "No baby"

"But then why are you so clueless when the guys are talking to you?"

It's not an act is it?

"Jagi, have you heard their conversations? They're so dumb. Half the time I'm not listening and that's why I need them to explain what's going on"

Oh, I get it

He's tuning them out

"That's why you're the last to get a joke or whatever. You're not listening"

"Exactly"

It makes so much sense now

I've only even seen Seonghwa with the guys, never alone like now

That's why he's different with me

He's just being himself now

"I get it. I tune them out too especially when they get into one of their stupid arguments", I reply

He nods, "Yeah, sometimes I just have no patience for it. I just get off of work and I'm tired and they're arguing over if the puffy Cheetos are better than the crunchy ones. Just eat the damn Cheetos"

I burst out laughing

He's so funny

"Yeah but fyi", I say through laughter, "Puffs are better"

"I agree. I just don't want to argue about it all the time"

"Yeah I get it", I answer, "So what are you thinking about when you're spacing out?"

"Honestly?", he asks

I nod

"You"

I almost choke on the tea I just sipped but manage to get it down the right pipe

"Me?", I gape

He nods, "Yeah Jo. I would either be looking at you or thinking about how I could get you to change your mind about me"

That's so...baffling

I had no idea he thought that much about me of all people

"If you wanted me to think differently then why did you act like you were dumb?"

He shrugs, "Girls like a hot dumb guy. It's easy to get laid if I act that way. At first all I wanted was to fuck you. That's how I always got girls before and I thought it'd work on you"

Ok that's offensive but he's not wrong

Girls do love a hot dumb guy to fuck

Even I thought he'd be a good fuck

"It didn't work on you and honestly that intrigued me a little", he continues, "But after I...fell for you...I regretted portraying myself like that. I would try to think of ways to get you to see me differently without you thinking I was a dumb guy trying to get you to see me differently"

I understand what he's saying but now I'm wondering something

"So was...last night...at the club...an act?"

He shakes his head vehemently, "No jagi. I..I offered to take you to the club because you were fighting with Joong. And not for nothing, you both are stubborn and would have continued arguing if you went with him. I decided to kinda be the referee and let you two calm down"

He made a good call

Hongjoong and I would of kept going

We don't argue much but when we do it's like a war

"And at the club, I was looking for you. Hongjoong is usually the one who watches out for you but you two were annoyed at each other and when you weren't with Jongho, I maybe kinda panicked a little", he explains, his cheeks so pink, "When I saw that guy touch you, fuck Jo, I saw red. And when you moved away and he did it again? I ran as fast as I could to get to you. I swear Jo, I've never been that angry in my life. I was ready to kill him"

"I know Hwa. I saw you. I don't think I've ever seen you angry before. It was surprising"

"I...I didn't scare you did I?"

I shake my head, "No baby, you didn't"

He breathes out in relief, "Ok jagi"

"And the dancing?", I ask, smirking at him

"I always wanted to dance with you jagi but I was scared to ask. Last night, it just fell in my lap and I would regret not asking you", he tells me, "Did...do you like dancing with me?"

"Loved it Hwa", I assure him, "You're so sexy baby, I get why girls fawn all over you"

He shakes his head, "I don't care about other girls Jo. You're the only one I want to fawn over me. To see me"

"Well, it's lucky you're mine then", I tell him, squeezing his hand

He raises our hands, kissing the back of mine, nodding, "You have no idea how much I know how lucky I am to have you"

"Oh stop Hwa", I blush

He smiles, shaking his head, "It's true Jo. You're kinda my dream girl. I never thought I'd ever have a shot with you"

"Why would you think that?", I ask, "All you had to do was talk to me"

"Yeah well, you made me nervous. I haven't felt this way for anyone before and I was worried I'd fuck up"

"Well you did pretty good last night", I tease, "All that smooth talking when we got back here"

Remembering him asking me if I was gonna stop teasing him sends shivers down my back

He chuckles, "No smooth talking jagi. Just honestly asking questions"

I get up and sit in his lap, moving my arms around his neck, his arms moving around my waist

"Well I'm glad you asked those questions"

He laughs, "You have no idea how glad I am too baby"

"Now I know"

He nods, moving one of his hands, cupping my face

He leans towards me, his soft perfect lips against mine, kissing me sweetly

I fall into his kiss, my fingers playing with the ends of his hair, his big hands on my back, holding me against him

The kiss turns heated after a bit, his dick getting hard under me, making me smile against his lips

I move my hips, rocking on his dick, a pretty moan coming from him

His hands grab my ass, helping me move against him

It feels good and I'm lost in pleasure when I hear, "Joanne? Where are you? Are you he- what the fuck?"

Seonghwa and I break the kiss, both of us turning to the doorway, Hongjoong standing there complete shock on his face

"What's...uh...going on?", he asks, raising his eyebrows

"Obviously I'm kissing Seonghwa", I answer

"Yeah but...why?"

"Because he's my boyfriend"

"What now?", he asks, his eyes widening

"I'm her boyfriend", he repeats

"But you think he's stupid", Hongjoong blurts

I roll my eyes, "I know he's not"

"You know she's.... difficult?", he tells Seonghwa

What the fuck is his problem?

Why is he saying stupid shit?

"She's really not. You just annoy her"

"She annoys me too!"

"Joongie!", I yell to get his attention

"I'm right here", he snaps, "You don't have to yell"

Keeping myself from giving him a sarcastic answer, I ask instead, "Why are you here?"

"I woke up and realized that I didn't know where you were or if you got home last night and I came to check", he says

"And if I wasn't here?", I ask, amused

"I would of blown up your phone and went on a manhunt", he answers

"I told you I was taking her home last night. You were there with the guys when I said that", Seonghwa rolls his eyes

"I was drunk! I didn't hear you and if I did I didn't remember when I woke up"

"Wait", I say, getting up from Seonghwa's lap, facing Hongjoong, "Did you just wake up and come straight over here?"

He huffs, "Yeah. I got worried ok? I always make sure you're home after we go out and I was worried when I woke up and realized I didn't get you home. If something happened to you because I was pissed at you and got drunk...."

I walk to him, hugging him, his hug full of relief

"Thanks for checking on me Joongie", I sincerely tell him

He really is an amazing friend

"Yeah Jo, of course", he answers, "Just because I'm pissed at you doesn't mean I want anything to happen to you"

"Thanks", I repeat, both of us letting go of each other

He nods, "Yeah well, don't make a big deal about it"

I laugh, "Ok, I won't"

"Besides, now you're Seonghwa's problem"

I snort

Right back being my annoying best friend

"Since you're the boyfriend now, you're responsible for getting her home from now on", he says to Seonghwa, "I pass the torch to you"

"Not a problem", Seonghwa answers, moving behind me, his arms around my waist, pulling me against him

I just smile, loving his arms around me

Hongjoong nods once then looks back at me, "Well seeing as you're fine, I'm out. I need a nap"

I don't make a comment on how he just woke up, instead just nodding

"Ok. Thanks for coming by"

"Sure. See you guys later"

As soon as Hongjoong leaves, I turn around to Seonghwa

"Now, where were we?", he teases

"Hmm", I pretend to think while pulling him down to me, "Right here"

I kiss him hard, my free hand moving to his dick, palming him over his boxers

He kisses me back, picking me up immediately and leaning me against the wall, his hard dick rubbing against my clothed pussy

I smile, knowing I'm going to like being with my airhead

--------------------------------

Six months later

Leaving the restaurant bathroom, I walk back towards our table

Seonghwa has his tongue in his cheek, another dumb look on his face as Wooyoung explains something I know he's not listening to

I giggle as I pass by his chair, leaning over his shoulder and kissing him on the cheek

"My little airhead", I tease in his ear

He snaps out of it, grinning widely at me, "My little tease"

He still spaces out when the guys have their stupid conversations and that's where the nickname, "My little airhead" came from

And he calls me "my little tease", because ever since we got together, I still wear revealing clothes that drive him nuts during times when he can't touch me

When it will be hours until he can

He takes my hand, bringing it to his lips, kissing the back of my hand

"Alright with the mushy stuff", San whines

"What mushy stuff? I'm just kissing my girlfriend's hand, you weirdo", Seonghwa rolls his eyes

"You're always kissing each other somewhere, fawning over each other, touching each other. Cut it out", Wooyoung says

"How about...no", I answer, rolling my eyes, "Stop being drama queens"

"It's not drama! When you're around Hwa doesn't even listen to any of us talking!"

I refrain from telling them that he doesn't listen to them anyway and just give Seonghwa a knowing smile that he returns

"Baby, can you listen to your whiny friend?", I tease

"Sure jagi", he says, kissing the back of my hand again, fire running up my arm from having his beautiful lips on my skin

He looks back at Wooyoung, "What?"

Wooyoung huffs but talks to him, probably picking up where he left off

I just stare at my gorgeous boyfriend, smiling as his eyes haze over, knowing he's not listening to Wooyoung again

I am so glad I gave Seonghwa a chance because he's honestly the best boyfriend I've ever had

We're all about each other, spending anytime we can together

He's very affectionate and protective, always making sure I'm safe whenever we're out together

He takes me out on amazing dates, to places I've never thought about going to and we have so much fun

And now that we live together, he does home dates where he cooks and we have movie nights or do fun things at home

And the sex we have is incredible, just as passionate as it was the first time

Hongjoong and I switched apartments because he said he couldn't stand how loud Seonghwa and I were when we fucked there and he'd rather live by himself

So we moved and the past two months I've been living with Seonghwa and it's fucking amazing

I fell in love with him so fast and I'm happy I did

I just haven't told him yet but I will soon

I don't think I could keep it in much longer

"You ok jagi?", he asks, taking me out of my thoughts

I nod, "Yeah. Thought you were listening to Wooyoung"

He makes a face, rolling his eyes, "Yeah right. I was spacing out again"

"What were you thinking about?"

He smirks, "About how long we have to put in at the club before it's acceptable for me to take you home and rip those clothes off you"

I grin back, loving how hot and bothered he gets

"Just rip them off? Nothing else?", I tease

"Hmm how about fucking my tight wet pussy until you can't walk right tomorrow?", he answers, his voice deep

"I ..I..think we can do that", I murmur, getting turned on

God, I want to take him home right now

"Hey! Love birds! Let's go!", Hongjoong calls, breaking the spell between Seonghwa and me

Standing up, Seonghwa laces out fingers together and leads us out of the restaurant

The guys meet us outside and we all head to the parking lot

Seonghwa leans against his car, his arms around me as I lay my head against his chest, watching San and Wooyoung argue over which club to go to

Hongjoong is glaring at them while the rest of the guys just watch the dramatics with unamused faces

Seonghwa's heart beats in my ear, making me smile

I move my head, kissing his chest where his heart is then look up at him, finding him already looking at me

"Hi baby", I smile

"Hi jagi"

We both smile like idiots, just looking at each other

I reach up, pushing his hair out of his face, my fingers running down his cheek

"I love you Seonghwa", I find myself saying

I do

I fell in love and I want him to know

A huge smile breaks on his face as he tells me, "I love you Jo. So much"

I nod, "So much Hwa"

He leans down, his lips against mine , kissing me like it's the only thing he wants to do

And I kiss him the same way

"Ok ok, we picked a club!", Wooyoung yells

He pulls away, his eyes staying on mine, the love in them apparent

I hope he can see my love for him in mine too

"Hwa? Did you hear? We picked a club", Wooyoung repeats

His eyebrow raises in a question and I shake my head

He nods, then looks at Wooyoung, "We're gonna skip the club tonight"

I smile, loving how we're both on the same page without speaking

"What? Again?"

"Yeah again. We're gonna go home but you guys have fun", he says

"God, ever since you guys got together you're both so boring!", San whines

Yeah, we skip the club a lot

Like I said before I was never a club person and Seonghwa only went to get laid

He said that he has no reason to go anymore now that he has me

He's much more interested in staying home, binging TV shows together and of course having lots and lots of sex

It couldn't be more perfect

"Sorry", he shrugs, walking me to the passenger door of his car

"Yeah whatever"

He opens the door for me and I sit, him making sure I'm all in the car before closing the door

That's another thing I found out about Seonghwa

He's such a gentleman and I eat it up

I watch him wave to the guys, then get in the driver's seat

Wooyoung and San scowl then follow Hongjoong to his car, while Yeosang, Yunho and Mingi go to Jongho's

Seonghwa turns the car on, then takes my hand, smiling at me

"Ready jagi?"

I nod, "Yeah baby. I love you"

His smile widens, "I love you jagi"

With that, he starts driving, heading home

[tayfabe75]

Did Taylor and Matty meet on Myspace? (And other early coincidences!)

Early on in their careers, Taylor and Matty both utilized Myspace as a way to promote their music. Taylor, specifically, would message with other teenagers on Myspace:

"I'd post my songs on my MySpace and, yes, MySpace, and would message with other teenagers like me who loved country music, but just didn't have anyone singing from their perspective."

Matty, too, described himself as "King of Myspace" when he was fifteen. But he brought it up more recently on the Ion Pack Podcast, even mentioning his age as seventeen at the time. And here's a retro clip of Taylor talking about how she wasn't some corporate entity on Myspace, if you messaged her account, you were talking to her! She also filled out her profile in her own words.

She has some things in her profile that might've caught Matty's eye, a fellow teenage country fan and fan of American music specifically, that might've emboldened him to message her:

"I love people who like my music. I love people who are nice to me. I like people who are excitable. I think it's endearing when people cry when they're happy. I'm pretty excitable too. Guys don't ask me out because they know I'll write songs about them. But I'm also the girl who still believes prince charming exists somewhere out there -- fully equipped with great hair and an immature sense of humor. I'm fascinated by black and white pictures. I like people who can be sarcastic and laugh about tense situations. I'm a fan of fans."

Say whatever you will about Matty, but that man is a genuine fan of Taylor's music. When he became a fan is open for discussion, but let's just pretend, for fun, that he found her via Myspace early on in her career.

Now, here is the old Myspace page for The 1975 back when they were known as 'Drive Like I Do' in 2008. Note the James Taylor in the list of Influences! (as well as the Jamie Squire in the top 8! How sweet, I'm sobbing!)

Taylor was a bit of a firecracker on Myspace (and not just there, there's a whole conspiracy theory she used to troll 4Chan!). A few of her comments were screenshotted and you can find them around the internet. Here are some. The one from October 31st, 2005 about a queer fellow ("I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer, it's not as weird as it appears") with a Sex van ("take your shoes off in the back of my van") really caught my eye, anyway…

"Listen my queer fellow. I thinketh we shall hangeth out sometime soon, eh? yes, I do believe I am growing fond of this idea. drive over in your sex van and come pick me up, farewell knave."

Notice the spelling here, too. Thinketh? Hangeth? Knave? Feels a little bit Shakespearean, at least for say, a fifteen-going-on-sixteen-year-old girl (as we would later discover, Love Story and Robbers were both inspired by Romeo and Juliet, both written around the same time so far as I know, but it's hard to find exact dates!)

Matty, by the way, used to refer to himself as the "Prince of the Tyne". He's also got some old Drive Like I Do lyrics from 'We Are the Streetfighters' that are suspicious to me: "Well in four thousand miles we'll meet you" (The nearest airport to Macclesfield is in Manchester, and the distance between Manchester and Nashville? Roughly 4000 miles)

Two months later on December 21st, 2005, just after turning 16, Taylor says she's in England.

Did they meet? Who knows! But there's enough weirdness there to make me wonder. Speaking of weirdness… we're going to go on a side tangent about Fearless, but that's part of the puzzle, so bear with me…

I don't know about anyone else, but when I saw Matty's Fearless Love Gaze™, I was rocked to my core! Men do not look at women like that, but especially not brand-new flings. They're too concerned with trying to look cool and unaffected. For most men (stereotypically), romance and love are "dumb" and "stupid" and perceived as a "woman thing" that men can't be bothered with. But not Matty. Matty was utterly transfixed by her. Something about that touch of mischief in the lip bite when she says the bit about "absentmindedly making me want you", the way he just barely mouths along to the words at the end of the clip, well… sirens started going off for me. So, I followed my intuition and started researching all of this.

Now, Taylor wrote the song 'Fearless' sometime in 2006. The hidden message liner note for Fearless? "I loved you before I met you". Taylor describes 'Fearless' as a song she wrote about a perfect first date she hadn't had yet, about something she didn't have but dreamt of. She debuted it for the first time on April 6th, 2007 in Reading, PA (if you don't already know it, that's two days before Matty's 18th birthday). At this show, she debuted 'Sparks Fly' (yes, in 2007! Original lyrics were brown eyes rather than green eyes, by the way) and 'Tied Together With A Smile'. She also played a cover of John Waite's song 'Missing You' which seems to be about a long-distance relationship: "And it's my heart that's breakin' down this long distance line tonight"

Speaking of Matty's birthday, the release of Fearless TV happened to coincide with Matty's birthday! She dropped a sneak peek of Fearless on his birthday in 2021, and the album would release one day later on the ninth (perhaps because albums release on Fridays and that's as close as she could get?)

Taylor describes the Fearless album as her diary from when she was seventeen (misplaced my source on that quote, d'oh!) That said, 'Love Story' interests me as well. There are some interesting facts about Love Story:

Hidden message: Someday, I'll find this. Taylor wrote this song in a very short amount of time after her parents had told her that she couldn't be with the person she wanted to be with. And in her own words:

"'Love Story' is actually about a guy that I almost dated. But when I introduced him to my family and my friends, they all said they didn't like him. All of them! For the first time, I could relate to that Romeo-and-Juliet situation where the only people who wanted them to be together were them. That's the most romantic song I've written, and it's not even about a person I really dated."

Taylor's UK television debut (like first time ever performing on TV in the UK) was on Loose Women (Matty's mother's show). Now, Denise was not there during this period as a host, but she had been before that and would be afterward, so maybe there's some significance? Maybe not. But if Taylor and Matty knew each other, he would definitely get to be in the audience to see her if he wanted to. The song she chose to perform was 'Love Story'.

Now, 'Robbers' is also based on Romeo and Juliet (and also written circa 2007), and Matty describes that here in a fan video from 2015. We'd see Romeo and Juliet imagery pop up again in 2014, both in Taylor's video for Blank Space (where she's on a balcony looking down at her lover) and in November where she stood up on a balcony at Matty's show as he serenaded her with Fallingforyou (visual comparisons here)

Blank Space, too, might reference Fallingforyou. There's a scene where she rides bikes with her lover inside her enormous house, perhaps reminiscent of Matty's lyric: "All we need's my bike and your enormous house":

Matty even dresses a bit like the lover from 'Love Story' music video at the 2017 BRITs:

When you fall down the Myspace rabbit hole, you start noticing other strange similarities in their lyrics - like Matty referring to a "girl on the screen" in 'If You're Too Shy', which perhaps parallels Taylor's "guy on the screen" in 'Karma'. In 'The 1' (another song that lyrically parallels 'Robbers'), Taylor imagines "the 1 that got away" meeting a woman on the internet and taking her home, which might be another reference to Matty, perhaps lyrically paralleling The 1975's 'Playing On My Mind'. This theory, of course, makes the entire album 'A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships' suspect, especially given that 'Be My Mistake' is a song Matty wrote "about Nashville", the striking similarities between 'Sincerity is Scary' and 'Me!', a song called 'Mine' that references the year 2009, and the inclusion of a Drive Like I Do track Matty wrote when he was just fifteen years old, '102' (the same age he was when he was "King of Myspace"). Considering 'Love Story' was written for someone who Taylor's parents disapproved of, it makes this lyric all the more striking:

"I hope this song will remind you I'm not half as bad as what you've been told."

Lastly, if Matty is the confirmed 'Cardigan' muse and if 'Willow' is the continuation of 'Cardigan' (based on where the music video begins), the scene where she gazes into the water at her lover could perhaps represent a visual metaphor for looking through a screen, no?

Back to the NYU commencement speech! I recommend listening to the FULL clip. She talks about: feeling lonely, chatting with other teenage country fans on Myspace, and then segues into her motivation behind protecting her private life:

"Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely."

All of this seems correlated to me (also why it's hard for me to reconcile this whole football charade! But for me, it's easier to believe Taylor here about privacy being important to her, and not assume that some boyfriend kept her locked away in a dungeon against her will or something)

Now, to tie this all into a very nice bow, here's a quote where Taylor talks about how she uses easter eggs:

"Easter eggs can be left on clothing or jewelry. This is one of my favorite ways to do this, because you wear something that foreshadows something else, and people don't usually find out this one immediately, but they know you're probably sending a message. They'll figure it out in time."

What shirt was she wearing during her pap walk with Matty? Think of the "He lets her Bejeweled" meme… She had on an NYU sweatshirt.

Now, could be just a giant coincidence, trust me, I know, I get it. However… maybe she's really hinting about an old Myspace pal that she has protected fiercely. I mean, she did seem to use that speech to easter egg/foreshadow YOYOK & Labyrinth lyrics…

Speaking of 'Bejeweled'… On July 15th, 2023 Taylor flubbed the lyrics: "Sapphire tears on Myspace", and then she giggled. Freudian slip, perhaps? But this is the woman who assures us that "nothing is accidental"... and in a song that mentions a "Top 5", no less! (reminiscent of a Top 8, perhaps?)

Maybe James and Betty were involved in a "teenage love triangle" for a reason, and maybe TTPD references "teenage petulance" for that same reason… or maybe it's nothing but a bunch of eerie coincidences! Who knows! In the meantime, I'll keep on clownin'! 🤡

[pastel-peach-writes]

Caitvi x reader who's basically a dumb blonde (and very clumsy) at points but is smart in a few specific things you wouldn't expect (you choose what they are^^) they're kinda like Elle woods from legally blonde if yknow what I mean,! Thanks for doing caitvi requests they hardly exist!^^

Hi! This request is no problem and of course! I started making these caitvi posts because they barely exist and i was DYING for content. love to hear that you're enjoying them!

"How Do You Know That?" | CaitVi x Reader

╰┈➤ PLOT: Headcanons of Caitlyn and Vi with a clumsy, ditzy, yet smart in unique ways partner <3

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Cursing, Clumsy Ass Reader, A Lot Of F-Bombs(Vi), Cute Ass Reader, Sleepy Vi, Hard-Worker Caitlyn, Not Proofread, No Y/N

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

– okay, caitvi would never call you dumb. never.

– they like to think of you as, maybe a bit ditzy and a klutz. most definitely a klutz.

– you can't even make a pot of coffee without spilling the coffee ground everywhere.

– and don't get them started on how many times they found a sticky counter and had to clean it after you poured juice into a cup.

– they didn't mind your clumsiness though.

– it was cute and endearing and you were their klutz. (and the audience awhs.)

– anyways

– the only time they may get upset at your clumsiness is when you three are on stealth missions.

– for vi, it was like working with powder again.

– she had to make sure you were okay and preferred to walk behind you. however, she hated when you walked too far.

– "hey, be careful. you never know who or what's out there." "I'll literally be fine. you worry too much--" and there you go almost falling into a manhole.

– thank god for vi's fast ass reflexes.

– while it reminds vi of simpler times, (working with you on stealth missions), it reminds caitlyn of the painful days when she had to train trainees.

– most were incompetent, clumsy, and downright scaredy cats.

– no judgment to you if you're any of those things.

– it was different with you of course. but the slip-ups often reminded her of a trainee who made the same slip-up you did and suddenly she turned away trying to maintain her composure.

– anyways, your ditziness

– i personally believe everyone has their dumb blonde moments. some just have more than others.

– you have yours over the most basic things

– like almost taking a hot pan out of the oven or letting a plastic utensil sit dangerously close to an open flame.

– if caitlyn wasn't in the kitchen working, she was sure you'd burn the house down.

– another ditzy moment would be drinking a water bottle upside down, going to eat a random piece of pie because a man gave it to you, and running headfirst into a room full of mirrors.

– yeah. that shit hurt.

– adding onto your clumsiness, you'd trip and fall on your own two feet

– though your ditziness often shows in your actions and not your words, caitlyn and vi found themselves shocked on a random tuesday night at three am when you're asking them questions only a 7-year-old would think of.

-

"do you think dinosaurs poop? what color would it be?" you asked. you were in the middle of the bed with vi on your right and caitlyn on your left.

vi was resting on her side, seemingly knocked out cold. caitlyn was reading a book with her personal book lamp on. she made sure it was on dim so she wouldn't disrupt your sleep. you can imagine her startle when you spoke out of the blue.

"wh-what?" caitlyn stammered. she glanced over to you. maybe you were sleep-talking. sure, that's a weird ass phrase to say while asleep, but every sleep talker says dumb shit sometimes.

you glanced back at her, eyes wide open and dazzling with curiosity. "i mean, each dino species had a different diet and habitat. do you think based off their diets and habitats, their poop would smell different and have different colors?"

caitlyn couldn't even fathom an answer. her mind literally went blank. luckily for her, vi chipped in on the opposite side of the bed. her voice raspy and low. she was obviously asleep, but the quiet chatter woke her up. "babe, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"dinos!" you exclaimed. vi shushed you as she turned over to face you.

"why the fuck are we talking about dinos?" she squinted in your direction. even though caitlyn's light wasn't bright in the slightest, it was like the fucking sun compared to the darkness that was previously behind vi's eyes.

"and why do you know so much about their habitats and diets?" caitlyn chimed. she closed her book, but kept a hold of her light. she loved seeing how your eyes sparkled with wonder and how the corner of your lips upturned as you spoke about your random dinosaur inquiry.

"um, because it's common knowledge."

"no, the fuck it's not." "who said that?"

you blinked. all your life you knew just about everything about dinosaurs. you knew their DNA buildup, and bone structure, which dinos had more genetic tissue than the other. you were asking them a simple question and they didn't know?

sat up, your eyes shift between them. Vi is on the urge of falling back asleep and caitlyn is patiently waiting on the answer to her question. with a giggle, you shook your head. "you guys are so funny. anyways, i think the herbivores' poop is more green than the others because of their plant-based diet-"

"ugh, just go to sleep!" vi wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled down. with your back now on the mattress and giggles escaping from you once again, violet puts her head on your chest. "you talk too much. it's sleepy time and caitlyn, turn off that light for the love of god."

not phased by her sleepy crankiness because she's in love with her, caitlyn turned off the light with a slight chuckle. she's finally snuggled under the covers and joined the cuddle pile.

-

– since then, caitlyn and vi discovered you know a lot about some random shit

– (and that your interesting factoids were attractive as hell)

– the random shit includes space (most specifically black holes and speed of light), color theory, engineering but with the most unethical supplies, and murder mysteries (real and fake).

– you always surprise them with your random thoughts.

– sometimes you're trying to share knowledge and other times you're asking questions to see if they have the answer.

– no matter the question, no matter the topic, they're amazed you know all of this crap.

– this person who falls up the stairs, chokes on mouthwash, and literally wore their pants backward for a full day is asking their partners if they know about the space-time continuum.

– in vi's words, "um, what the fuck?"

– that being said, they love that big clumsy, ditzy brain of yours with random facts.

– vi call your their "fun fact calendar" because every day, you have a new fact about your selected topics.

– i've said this before and i'll say it again, they absolutely adore you and your wackiness

– it even helps when finding jinx.

– "yeah, it was easy because she used these colors, and while this means one thing in color theory, in color psychology it actually means--"

– "-- wait, wait. when did you pick up color psychology?"

– "last week! :D"

– both, in perfect unison: "you never fail to amaze me."

WC: 1,126

[lupusbaby]

I could really use a little support from the disabled/chronically ill community right now. Basically my ability to walk is affected because I have some kind of neurological issue which I'll find out more about on Tuesday.

I have a lot of pain and weakness in all my extremities, but my legs are more severely affected. I use one or two forearm crutches, depending on the distance. In the past few months, long distances have become impossible. Sometimes even medium distance leave me unable to be present or enjoy myself because it's so difficult and painful just to hold my body up. So things like browsing a larger store, going to the mall, or going to an event are just not possible.

I've been considering getting a wheelchair for part-time use, and will be asking my doctor about it at my appointment. I think it would be good for me. I have a lot of fatigue as well, so I can usually only do one "event" per day before being too tired (going to an appointment for example). Some days I can't even do that.

I've been just openly mentioning it to my family, because people are always like "imprisoned by a wheelchair!!? D:" and I'm just not doing all that. I am not going to "come out" about getting a wheelchair, that's dumb.

I started to talk to my mom about it tonight, and my mom is NOT good at hard conversations. She tends to get mean, cold, and avoidant. It's not that she doesn't care, it's that she cares so much she cannot tolerate even facing the idea of something difficult or upsetting having to do with her children. She's a great mom- she is not great at emotional intelligence.

Anyway, she was super combative about it, and here's the short form with my responses:

"You can just get a cheap transport chair so someone can push you around when you get tired." - I am not happy with having to rely on someone else pushing me around, I need to be able to do it independently.

"Nobody walks to their trunk and gets their own wheelchair out of the back." - Yes actually, tons of people do. It's called being an ambulatory wheelchair user.

"You don't need to go through getting measured or talking to a specialist, you won't be using it long term." - I may not be using it all the time, but I will be using it "long term" as in over many years. Having an improperly fitting wheelchair can hurt you. (Then argument about how they're way too expensive and I don't need "all that", meaning a good quality chair.)

"I don't want you to make yourself worse." - Well mom, I actually will be continuing to exercise regularly to make sure I keep my strength. (Believe it or not, I do not want to be unable to walk at 26 years old.)

I'm really upset about it because I really wanted her support in this. I am already 26 years old and suddenly disabled, the least I deserve is to have some freedom and independence. Again, I don't know what my diagnosis is yet so there's still a chance I won't need a wheelchair, but I'm trying to prepare. Maybe I'm being dumb about this, idk.

[takeomurasaki]

Hey takeo! How’s everything? Welcome to Tumblr and to the writing community. I read your post and I was hoping if you could write something for Izuku’s birthday? Maybe reader organizing a surprise party for him without him knowing? (Only if you want to that is)

And I can’t wait to see you grow here! I was once a small writer here (kind of still am) so I get how you feel about being on such a popular platform. And remember: writing’s supposed to be fun, not tiring. Post whatever’s on your mind.

Take care and stay safe!

Hi Moonlight, Thank you so much for the request and the kind welcoming message! I'm really grateful for your kindness and hope you grow even more as a writer 🙏🏻

I adore this idea and hope I could interpret what you had in mind, hope you enjoy this 🩵

" Perfect Birthday for Him 💚 "

Izuku Midoriya x GN!Reader

Type: Romantic, Fluff, One-shot.

Summary: Surprise party for Izuku's birthday.

Word Count : 2005 words

You put your hand on your hip, the other on your forehead. The cake was finally in the oven.

"I can't believe I beat the squad to it! It was exhausting but everything's ready cake wise."

"Could you help me clean now? First you kidnap me from my morning training to bake a fucking cake for Deku and now you won't even clean. Damn extra!" Bakugo screamed-whispered in your ears. It was still early and if the both of you woke the others up, Izuku might wake up, and that's a no-go.

You weren't the best at baking, that was a flaw of yours but you always tried your best at it. That failed this time around, though. You had tried to prepare a cake for Izuku's birthday but you mixed the cake mix with too much olive oil and it was ruined and smelled terrible. Thank God you knew just the right person to help you: Bakugo. He might be a douche, he was the best at baking so you asked him regardless. The blonde wasn't dumb, he saw in your eyes that this cake meant a lot to you, and he sure could see you wanted to impress his childhood friend. Your eyes were shining and a deeper colour than they used to be, your cheeks were tinted red and sweat dripped from your forehead. Your hair was messy from the rush you had been in for the past couple days preparing the perfect birthday for Midoriya.

He found that funny and laughed at your face, but followed through with your plan anyway. He's not a monster, why wouldn't he help his nerdy childhood bestie get game?

"Yeah yeah, I'm coming. You're going to wake them up if you keep speaking so loud Bakugo please.." You sighed in complete despair and closed your eyes. He sure could be a pain in the ass sometimes.

As you were washing the dishes and Bakugo finishing cleaning the countertop, he spoke out of the blue.

"Say professional simp, why'd you stress so much over that birthday party anyway? You know damn well he's gonna enjoy it if it's you preparing it for fuck's sake." He said rather loudly, grinning like a mad man, he REALLY was a pain in the ass today.

"Bakugo I- He- What? Oh my God" you facepalmed, your face so red your ears began to redden too. You gritted your teeth, this guy was gonna ruin the plan it he keeps at it. "Shut the fuck up and don't speak so loud! Get back to cleaning." You got back to cleaning the dishes, furrowing your brows still red faced. You did hope he was right, that Izuku was gonna like it and actually realize you liked him bad, like bad bad !

Let's not forget who Midoriya is, he gets quite oblivious when it comes to love. Random people were hitting on him at least once a month in the most random places ever and he never suspected a thing, he thought they were just being nice.

That made you fall deeper for the green haired boy if you were honest, you found that just so cute. He always was but his oblivion to others' perception of him added to his natural charm.

You could not mess today up, you were a compassionate and thoughtful friend who always went above and beyond to make your loved ones feel special. You have a knack for creating unforgettable moments and ensuring that every detail is perfect when it comes to showing someone how much they mean to you, mostly Izuku.

It was your chance of getting him to be aware of himself and his attractiveness that you admired deeply, too.

Later on, you went to Mr. Aizaiwa. He wasn't your teacher, you were in class 1-C, but he was Midoriyas and he was helping the whole plan happen out of sheer boredom. He was indeed the weirdest teacher you'd ever met.

It was lunch time, the perfect timing to meet him and discuss today's matter. You knocked on the almost empty classroom's door and entered slowly.

Internally you were an absolute mess. Trying to keep your composure wasn't easy as a swarm of butterflies filled your stomach to the brim, the anticipation was overbearing. The party was getting closer.

"Hello Aizaiwa sensei. Do you remember about Izuku's birthday party perchance? Do we have permission?" You managed to smile somewhat normally with sweaty palms.

He looked up from his spot, tucked in his sleeping bag about to fall asleep from the bags under his eyes. "Hello Y/N L/N, I do remember problem child's birthday party... Principal Nezu is okay with the party being held in the dorm's common room. You will have to mark out the things you're using from the school on a paper though so we know what you took. Dismiss now, I'm sleepy, kid." And with that he just fell on the ground and closed his sleeping bag further, till we couldn't see his face.

You did a little happy dance, how could you not? You had everything planned out perfectly. You rushed out of the classroom to prepare the decorations and the organization.

You were by yourself to prepare the room and all. The others were still in class. After class was done everyone has to come here and finish preparing everything with you, excluding Ochaco of course. She was his current best friend and was tasked to keep him occupied for sometime so we could all hide and all. Honestly your excited was making you go faster than you anticipated, your breath was warm as you were going up and down chairs to be tall enough to reach the ceiling and put the All Might banner and balloons you managed to obtain.

You carefully placed the plates and cups, All Might themed of course, on the table. Each plate and cup with a name on it so no one would get mixed up, that also prevented you from forgetting anyone. You prepared the soft and energy drinks you had brought the day before and put them on the table alongside crackers, chips and nerunerune kits. Candy for the sweet guy, you were proud of the connection you had made at the supermarket. You even got to use UA's party things, so you had confetti on the table, on the ground and even found a red carpet to put at the door leading to Midoriya's chair. Oh his chair, you took an extra time on it. It had little All Might stickers on it you brought for this special occasion, an All Might cushion sitting bare seemingly waiting for Izuku to sit down on. You were overjoyed it was so perfect and turned out how you imagined it.

After the bell rang, the others rushed to the dorm and were surprised to see you had done everything. You took the paper hats, All Might themed why wouldn't they be, and ended one to each and everyone. Mina insisted on having colorful streamers, you couldn't disagree it was a great idea for sure, the clean up was going to be a nightmare but that's for later.

You all got in your hiding spots and turned off the lights, Ochako texted you and said she was near with Midoriya. Your heart was racing, your face red. Barely hyperventilating at this point, you brushed your palm against your chest to contain your excitement. The door clicked open.

"Ochako-san? Why is it so dark in there?" Midoriya was intrigued and turned on the light. Seconds after, you all jumped up and screamed happy birthday to the birthday boy. Midoriya was surprised, his eyes wide and sparkling as he scanned the place and everyone in the room. He smiled brightly, showing his pearly white teeth. His cheeks tinted pink at this point. He thanked everyone, one by one, until it was you left. He approached you, he seemed excited from what you could tell.

"My raitō! Everyone told me you planned all this and I could never thank you enough!" He engulfed you in his muscular arms.

Your eyes widened, he had just called you his precious and on top of that he was hugging you. Heat rushed to your whole face and ears. Your pupils dilated, you inhaled his sweet scent that filled your lungs to the brim. You giggled finally hugging him back.

"It was nothing Izu, nothing is enough to compare to you." You admitted, a knot forming in your throat as the words spilled out your mouth. Izuku instantly lifted his head up from the hug and he was scarlet red at this point. He started stuttering and muttering, you couldn't really understand what he was saying so you just laughed. With the courage you had managed to form you gave him a small peck on the cheek and went to Todoroki to get the gifts out of their hiding spots in his room.

Izuku was frozen in place, his chin trembled as he tried to process what just happened. His hand trailed slowly to his cheek and realization hit him straight in the face. He had not studied them enough, that wasn't in his notes.

The time for the gifts came, everyone hurried at the table as Izuku sat down on his custom chair. He was so nervous, that was a lot of attention on him at once and you were still there, sweetly grinning at him. He opened each gift gently as to keep the All Might merched wrapping paper and thanked everyone for their gifts. The last one was yours and he was absolutely thrilled, his palms shaking and his heart racing. He opened the box hidden under the wrapping paper and lifted an eyebrow, the box was empty.

"Is- is this normal Y/N ?" He said scanning the box, flipping it upside down and shaking it.

You were freaking out. Everything was perfect but this. The gift wasn't in the box. Without even thinking, you screamed, terrified and hurried to Todoroki's room, it must still be there. Izuku followed you and motioned the others to stay put in their place.

"Where the fuck is it!? I swear it was just there!" Your eyes scanned every corner of Todoroki's room in desperation. You were moving every single piece of furniture trying to find the gift for Izuku, you rambled on about where it could be and didn't hear it feel Izuku's presence in the room. His brows narrowed and he stepped towards you. He placed his hand on your shoulder stopping you dead in your tracks. You were crying, the frustration was too much for your poor heart and soul to handle.

He opened his arms and smiled at you,

"Y/N please calm down, I don't need a material gift it's all fine I promise. We can have fun with the others and we'll search for the gift after the party how does that sound to you? Is this ok?"

You accepted the embrace, slowly nodded rubbing your eyes. "I guess this is. I'm so sorry Zuku it was meant to be a perfect birthday. I was so focused on you and your birthday party I even forgot to put the gift in the box." You managed to trail out between small whimpers and crys. Izuku gently rubbed your back as you confessed to him, he was happy you trusted him with your emotions. Seeing you vulnerable like this comforted his love for you, if you could break your outer walls down for him, he could do the same for you.

"I understand the struggle, it was the same to me when it was your birthday honestly. You're just so mesmerizing I lost myself for a moment." You looked at him with mouth agape, face redder than it had ever been. He chuckled and pecked your forehead, just as red as you were.

"Your presence and attention towards me and my birthday is the greatest gift you could have given me, Aijin."

Takeo.

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

Hey there! Hekate has pointed me toward your blog and I just wanted to say hi 💞

I do have a question though, have you ever had deities help you with motivation and executive functioning skills? I've got ADHD and the "laziness"(🤢) or what I call "going slug mode" (staying in bed all day, no motivation to shower, etc) really commands my life.

My periods of deity work tend to coincide with my periods of productivity and energy, but I often fall off when, well, everything else falls off. So I guess I'm also looking for advice or at least to connect with someone who's had similar experiences.

(I've also connected with Aphrodite and Loki! Other gods I've worked with in the past are Mother Hathor and Brigid)

First off, I may or may not have had so many feelings upon seeing "Hekate has pointed me towards your blog" because the idea that my blog can be useful enough that a deity would go "go look at what that dude has to say" just brings me so much joy.

Second off, OH THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SOMETHING I SHOULD SCREAM ABOUT THANK YOU. I can't believe I haven't already made a post about this!!

I, too, am an ADHD motherfucker and I have always had so many issues with keeping up with my craft. I will absolutely be calling it "slug mode" from now on, that's the best fucking way to put it. I've had deities help me with executive function at times, but if I'm honest I've forgotten lately that I can ask them for help with that. More often than not it looks more like nudging me towards a task than giving me the energy- but that doesn't mean you can't ask! It just means I forgot I could, lol.

This is gonna be a chonker post, so I'm breaking this post up into two parts; 1, why accepting "falling off" was the best thing I could have done for myself and 2, how to still connect with your craft (and deities) through those times anyway.

So for one, you're not broken or a failure, and your deities fuckin' love you.

Call me philosophical, but hear me out; I've always worked in cycles. Cycles of insane productivity, cycles of tiredness, cycles of hyperfixation on one thing, then another, then another. I'm just someone who works that way, and I've always viewed it as a problem to be fixed. I've always viewed MYSELF as a problem to be fixed, which really started with the school system but that's an unrelated rant. So, apologies for getting a bit intense especially since this may not apply to you personally, but just in case:

You're not a problem. You don't need to fix yourself. The world works in cycles. Seasons, reincarnation if you subscribe to that belief, the water cycle, and a billion other things I've forgotten- working with cycles is just a natural way of going about life that I think shouldn't be forgotten. I have intense periods of growth in my craft, and I have periods where I don't do much and instead play my favorite video game for eight hours straight- and that's okay! One of the best things I did for myself and my craft was give myself permission to do that. I, and you, are not failures as witches for "falling off" and our deities love us anyway. Not in spite of it, either, because of it. They know how to work with the cyclic nature of things; people are no different.

So honestly, there's a chance that none of this will make sense to you- but there's a chance that you, and maybe others seeing this post, might find that giving yourself permission to go through cycles might be the best thing you could do.

Okay, now that I've yelled about that, here's ways that I keep myself connected to my craft and my deities during my less witchy periods.

I give myself permission to use witchcraft for "dumb shit." I have at least one post on this, but witchcraft can BE childish, playful, "dumb-" it doesn't need to be serious all the time. So I'm learning to let go of what I think it should look like and recognize that sometimes the way to stay connected is to lay in bed and draw a sigil on my phone as a mini-spell to manifest a nice little treat or a thing I want in a video game.

This isn't deity work, but it had been huge for me: SIGILS. Sigils my beloved. I don't often have the time, energy, or supplies to do what most people think of when they talk about spells. So instead, if I'm feeling like I could do a spell for something but that's just too much, sigils can be done on my phone or computer while just chilling. Also, if you're like me and a writer, I just write spells too. Literally the same way I write statements for sigils, but a bunch of 'em.

Personally I just talk to my deities. I would like to do this more, actually. You don't need to have a big reason for calling them in, just ask them to sit with you and talk about your day or infodump about a special interest. They're not going to deem it unimportant; you're important to them.

Turn anything into a devotional activity if you want. Any self-care. Not just the typical stuff; I mean food, meds, literally any sort of "maintenance" to keep your body and mind running! If you can't do those, play music you associate with them, or watch a show/play a game and invite them to just sit with you. Whatever you're already doing, you can just ask them to do it with you. If that's literally just laying in bed doing nothing but feeling crappy, I can assure you I've asked them to sit with me during those days too and they've been more than happy.

Literally most of my offerings are just random food. As we speak, I have a little tiny thing with a few sips of soda because I give Loki some when I drink some. If you don't have the time or energy to put it on the altar, literally just drink it with the intention that you're drinking it "for" them. When I did a reading and Kali visited for it, she asked for a graham cracker of all things. It doesn't have to be associated with them. Virtual offerings too! If you can, I've seen people just scroll through pinterest/google images and pick images to offer to their deities.

This might not be something you struggle with, but this is definitely something I would need someone to tell me so: ASK. PLEASE. ASK FOR THINGS. They're not going to riot if you ask for things!! Let them help!! Ask for things, unapologetically if you can muster it!!! I am using excessive exclamation marks for a reason, I swear. My deities are in a constant state of telling me to just ask for things.

Be gentle with yourself. Genuinely, I think one of the best ways to honor your deities doesn't even require them to be there at all; just try not to hate on yourself for being the way you are, because they wouldn't want you to.

Overall, my only advice is just... throw away what you "should" be doing and find out what you LIKE doing. What works for you? It's a hard question to answer, but it gets a lot easier when you start looking away from what "should" work. Your deities are working with you, they wouldn't be working with you if they didn't accept every single part of you. That includes slug mode.

As always, my DM's and asks are open if you have any more questions/just want to connect because being a neurodivergent witch sometimes just feels isolating at times! If you actually read this whole post thank you, I hope some of it helped!!

[intheholler]

i’m not from appalachia but i am from the south and the accent is definitely dieing (i am fucking determined to bring back this spelling) … rarely ever hear a young person with a heavy twang anymore, a light one sometimes yea. so sad its perceived as negative … nearly every time you see someone portray a dumb person in a joke they take on this stereotypical accent and its quite harmful really and they don’t even know … anyway sorry for coming in yer inbox and rambling but i’m interested in hearing what ya have to say about it

1) 2024 will officially be the year we bring back 'dieing' for good. god willing and the creek don't rise

2) 'what i have to say about it?' hahah *gestures broadly toward this ramblin blog*

no but in all seriousness, i believe the reason you don't hear that molasses-thick twang anymore is because young people in appalachia have better access to the outside world from an incredibly young age in a way we didn't even a few decades ago. used to be it required heading down the mountain to see what's what, and most can't afford that til they're older, if even then.

so now, we are taught younger and younger as impressionable babies to be ashamed of ourselves and by extension our accents, either from embarrassment of the stereotypes of where we're from, or because we're afraid people are gonna think we're "stupid" and not take us seriously.

without ever having to leave home, kids now can peer over the mountain sooner and see how people mock them and their accents. it doesn't cost any money to get online and see everyone calling you an inbred toothless hillbilly, to start feeling shame for something you didn't even know was being ridiculed--you--and work from them on to suppress your accent.

i was eight or nine the first time it was made known to me that people outside of home thought the way i talked made me "sound stupid" and i found out in person by a well-meaning family member. literally that same day i started trying to "talk normal" from then on out. i'm a young millennial, so internet was available to me but not in the way it is now. i can't imagine how it is for kids today.

i had a THICK accent as a kid. now, you can barely hear it even though i'm actively and consciously trying to relax the code switching muscle now that i am loving these parts of me again.

to your second point, i once saw someone say something (much more eloquently, and it's been years, so) along the lines of "tell a joke about someone you think is 'stupid'. do it aloud. what accent did you default to when you mocked them? now ask yourself why you did that."

only, no one wants to ask themselves that question. and so here we are.

i believe that that shame and mockery we have been wrongly saddled with from childhood is likely one of the biggest contributing factors as to why you hear a good strong accent less and less. and it fucking sucks.

3) come 'ramble' anytime!! love talking to yall and hearing your thoughts

[tiarasnteakettles]

Time for a little controversy.

One thing I'm starting to realize is not everyone is like me. Not everyone reads a post fully for context, or pays attention to when and what and where. Most people don't assume that they don't know the entire picture when reading things online.

Worse still, sometimes they don't do these things simply because they would rather believe you're a bad person in some way.

I realize now that no matter how hard I work to be transparent, to show receipts, to prove I am not spending my money on dumb things. No matter how much I try to present as this perfect poor person who never takes a day off nor ever spends an unnecessary dime, people just don't care.

They will barely scan over your posts and make their negative assumptions because they WANT to. They don't care enough to read. To check other posts. To pay attention or investigate something. Or hell, to just ask. They are dedicated to viewing you as wrong, bad, lazy, or stupid and they don't want to make any effort to correct it.

The eureka moment here is that I'm tired of being a victim. I'm tired of being disrespected.

You think Patreon is just me sitting on my ass and begging for handouts while refusing to work a REAL job?

Fine.

You think I spend all my money on dumb shit and that's why I can't pay my bills?

Fine.

You think there's nothing wrong with me and I'm a fraud who doesn't want to work?

Fine.

I realize now that no matter how hard I try, there are still going to be people who don't care enough to understand a situation. They just don't.

If I do the things they think I do, they will hate me.

If I am the most frugal person you know, they will still hate me.

Nothing I do matters because these people will always think the worst of me anyways, so fuck it!!

I'm not staying home wallowing and wishing I was allowed to have nice things for myself anymore. I am no longer going to abstain so these people have no criticism. I'm getting criticized all the same.

So sure Jan, I'm always going to cons constantly.

I'm always taking vacations and buying things I don't need.

Whatever! Make that shit up and then choke on the turds.

Anyways, I'm not cancelling my trip. Fuck it. --

And just to be crass here's the fuckin link to chip in on my trip (if you want)

[silveredsound]

How you go from harry styles to hockey I will never understand.

I was going to make a little joke, as I do, (would have been v hilarious, best joke ever pls know this) and leave it at that. But like, it's been raining for over 24 hours, it's 2am and it might be good for me to reflect a little.. So sorry anon I am going emote all over your ask (which (the ask) sounds a bit judgey tbh but the written word is NOT a great conveyor of tone so that might be on me.)

On one hand it's just fandom. And, I think it's been pretty clear that as much as I love Henry Stars, I'm not like, a 'Harry is the be all and end all of all music creation and creativity and actions.' I like him for the good and the bad, and I don't leave critical thinking at the door. (Not saying I'm the only person to do this, just that it's hard sometimes in fan spaces and Stans definitely do..)

Which, can make it hard to participate in fandom as a lot of people are not great at irony, or accepting that someone else can say, god damn that is a terrible song - and that it's okay for that to happen. It doesn't mean that the person who expressed the neg opinion is not still a fan of the artist they were speaking about. Same with if the artist you are a fan of does something that gives you the ick.

I def learnt this when Harry went to Google Camp the first time. Like obviously I've been around 1d fandom in some way since 2012 ish I think it was - and it was my own reaction to Harry going to Camp Douchebags the first time that made me go, oh jeez Silv, you are a bit too involved in the parasocial relationship here. Like I was genuinely upset that he'd done something I thought was so dumb and wanky.

Anyway, clearly I still loved - love - him and I celebrated him and spent a fuckload of money on him and engaged in fandom and etc etc. But I just did at that point I think turn a little from heading in a very blinkers on version of fandom to one that's def more me - where you just get to have fun, make fun be creative, make friends! and have a bit of a perv depending on the silk cream vanilla ice cream outfit Harry might be wearing in Nashville.

I like RPF. I mean I like all transformative works and fandom extending and enhancing source material via creation, but I don't have an issue with RPF. I believe in 4th wall. And I clearly have written 1d fic. A lot of my good fandom mates, and real life best friend(s) are people I have met through sharing a love of writing in fandom spaces. Obviously all the best writers in 1d went to Hockey. And I stayed here. And I tried. I wanted to be where my friends where. I had fomo and I was lonely! My fandom had changed in a few ways all around the same time.

But Hockey is very confusing, (for starters as I often say to Angela or Joanna, snow is fake) and nothing clicked for me - it seemed large and I had no idea where to even start and I didn't really try.

But I think the change in some fandom fellow participants, and also anons being mean when they would get even a glimpse in their peripheral that I might have vaguely indicated that Henry did something that I thought was dumb or embarrassing, or just not that good, (it's no fun sharing a thought and feeling chatty about it, and wanting to engage with other people's thoughts if some random is going to anonymously tell you that you are a dumb c*nt and should delete etc etc so I stopped sharing any thoughts at all.) Of course Nick leaving breakfast and then R1 altogether - as well as obviously my whole life narrowing to a point that was just tend Mama- work - tend mama - work - tend mama - sleep - grow a tumour - tend mama left me not so much time for proper joyful engagement.

And then, in Jan/Feb this year, I think as I'd been looking at book reviews and as soon as you search for a book on tik tok they push book tok romance reviews into your feed and I think then that pushed an actual hockey clip (which is a really shite 4th wall issue as is the whole Kraken thing etc) and I can't even remember what it was but I know I then swiped through and watched other videos on the account and like 1d being adorable shites repeating stock answers and sitting on top of each other I was intrigued by what seemed to be very dumb and very entertaining.

But Silv, you cry, what about the emotions! You need emotions! Ah, yes, see, because I am nothing but devoted I had followed Angela and La's hockey blogs, and something La posted grabbed my attention and I followed a link and read an article and I was like. Oh, I want to read more about these kids. So I did. And after a little while I reached out to La and was like, um, I think I get it. And I posted something about the Fantilli Bros and then Max reached out and tbh I don't think anything says it better than my wide eyed enthusiasm reply. (You are probably by now thinking, Silv why is your answer to Max so short, why didn't I just get a paragraph? This is an endless essay with no conclusion or indeed a thesis statement, (that is if you have even made it down to here) & anon I can only apologise.)

I am really enjoying learning so many new things, being welcomed into a new space of connection and joy and silliness and emotional breakdowns. It's been so lovely to meet new people who are so excited to share their niche interest with you and no one minds how many questions I have and everyone searches out Primera and Important Past Instagram Posts from the archives - and of course reconnecting with people who I have always been friends with, fandom changes didn't change that, but it's delightful chatting much more often. The other day Angela and I watched an Avs game together via Tumblr chats, which was delightful, to learn about the team and to talk about random other things, and I've spent my last month of Saturdays watching umich with lovely people who La introduced me to, and having MANY EMOTIONS. (It's like hanging out all posting about a show's fits and one liners and if he's going to sing medicine but it's many pantomime gooseberrys. The performative homoeroticisim, wild hair, jokes, punching (only now during not pre show work outs ) and very goddamn impressive skill and physicality is actually pretty similar). Meghan and I have been able to chat through our very similar horrible experiences with cancer and mums with cancer and it's been so lovely and strengthening to be able to share that experience with a person who beyond gets it, and then also I've been able to announce to her that I want to write a fic about 5 ways Nolan saw god with the UMich Bible Study Group but didn't find faith. which is obviously a completely ridiculous concept but equally worthy of discussion. It's this that I love so much about fandom friendship - you share SO much because you are sharing something that gives you intimate joy, so the relationship always starts from a place of an automatic mutual understanding and empathy - and from there we make it our own.

But also, I really like the game. Like I love watching them play, all of them! It's fast (obviously - and oblig have to say - ice is slippery) and it's hard - and they make it look easy. When one of the special players (they are all special, but one of the ones who play almost with innate ability) makes a pass or a turn sometimes it's almost almost magic, like how the fuck did they see that gap between four players, and did you see how they kept the puck a moment longer so they could release it perfectly into the lane !! Hot.

The game can be all encompassing and it's SO SO SO silly. Like it's the dumbest sport. It's The Show. I'll put on ESPN and stream a match while I'm working during the day (the time difference is perfect for once) and I'm spending time cos I want to, learning the rules and the logistics and business side of it all. And of course, the differences between college hockey and the show. Idk. It just clicked on so many levels for me.

And so, I have no idea why it took me so long to transition from Henry to Hockey, but I am not surprised I did now that I have - it def wasn't something that I was bloody expecting. And Anon I will say this, the last few years of my life have been sad, hard, and tbh shitty. Now, I know what it's like to have fucked years, so I am not saying this to try to be and show off but 2024 feels a bit better. I feel clearer, I have started to lose some weight (15ish kg so far depending on the time of the month) and now I have a meeting w a PT on Tuesday as I actually don't care what I weigh but I want to get stronger and reduce my visceral fat as it will be better for hormones which is better for lessening my cancer reoccurrence %.

God knows it's (2024) not all roses, I literally had surgery again a fortnight ago and the cost of living in Sydney is giving me so much anxiety. I am still a terribly disorganised mess, my work is undergoing a complete restructure (thanks NSW gmnt) and my clean washing is NEVER folded and put away, it's always in the basket - but I feel so happy and entertained and creative - I am writing again! like it's joy. It's ye olde you are who you are at this moment but you are also the 4 year old you and the 15, 27, 34 year old you - girlhood (non gendered concept of not literal interpretation) and I love it. 💛🩵🌱