#anyways I only really watch 1 youtuber play it so I have no clue if im actually pretty decent at the game or if im like

[mokeonn]

I fucking hate the tetris effect so much. Like oooh lemme play this funnie little card game rogue-like, ooh it's so fun it's gonna be the only game I play for weeks now, oooh what do you mean I'm fucking duplicating multi-card holographic sevens in my dreams

[mamamittens]

Time isn't fucking real istg

Got home and pulled my laptop out, fully intending to write and what happens????

What fucking happens????

I eat dinner and open animal crossing up instead of lofi jazz.

A game I haven't played in literally 1 year and 5 months, per one of my villagers (shockingly not overrun by weeds, guess Nintendo laid off the guilt tripping). And then what happened??? I only played for less than an hour.

Haven't a single damn clue. 11 hour work days for the second 6-day workweek in a row is really fucking with me lmao

Next thing I knew, it was time to shower if I wanted my hair reasonably dry for bonnet time without it being soaked when I gotta get up for work. And my weekend is definitely shot cause no way in hell are we not working Sunday and my brother is graduating this Saturday with the degree he needs to be a licensed therapist. So we gotta get up early to drive there and damn is this month a bitch already lmao

At the very least, if memory serves, I'm only waiting on two more folks to tell me what they want for their event gift/slots. Everyone else is spoken for and in theory I should be able to actually work on them soon without worrying about stopping and waiting for anyone.

In all fairness to myself, I've got 4 hours of free time when I get home and I don't sleep nearly enough as it is. Still gotta eat and shower too...

If only those self help books didn't feel like more homework for myself....

Lets see, what's my to do list?

8 fics between Tumblr and AO3 to be completed

6 December event fics

1 October event fic (2 if I count year before)

5 December art pieces

Plan and execute gift art piece for friend who did not enter event

1 zine fic

1 zine art piece

2 zine art pieces on other zine fics

Continue reading OP from chapter... 34?

Continue Apothecary Diaries from volume 7 (great read btw, quite fun)

Continue watching OP from Baratie introduction episode

Finish reading book on Satanism

Start reading grief and death guide

Sweep and mop my floor (should be higher up list, cats keep kicking litter out of box like rude bitches)

Buy new microwave

Buy new garbage disposal

Start watching Sailor Moon or at least one of the other 8 anime seasons I have, why do I keep collecting these but opening YouTube???

Oh! Wrap gifts I do have purchased but not distributed.

Find good dirty Santa gift.

Sleep forever until not tired

Write those passion fics (untold number, I keep putting them down and forgetting about them until 7 months later)

Damn, listing everything out makes it seem both unwieldy and more manageable somehow... I don't think it's in the order it should be tho lol

Anyway! Time to at least try number 20! Ya know! For work!

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

[lunar-lair]

oh my god i never told you guys abt my disaster twins competitive pkmn players concept. one sec ill put it under a cut for you bc this might get long lmao

so basically. gen 9 came out, and the boys, in their recent-switch glory, were like omg hell yes. game time. donnie and leo both get violet and mikey and raph both get scarlet (theyve got their own games bc they would tear each other apart if they had to share physical copies trust me) and generally trade around exclusives and chill etc etc. also while im on this leo picks quaxly, mikey is a toss up between fuecoco and quaxly, raph picks fuecoco obvs, and donnie picks sprigatito, as does april when she gets her own copy of violet later (which she honestly only chose for the loyalty points lmao she likes karaidon better)

anyways i was saying. donnie is one of those nerds who like perfectly iv trains his normal ass in-game team and builds perfect compositions around typings and looks up the gyms types n stuff and he was SO excited when he learned abt tera types and how they impacted team comps

leo on the other hand has the messiest type crossover and team comp EVER but still manages to thrash his opponents bc he uses really good movesets and strategies

the twins get into watching competitive videos while they play violet in silence together (hashtag parallel play) until donnie eventually starts commenting on weird stat spreads and leo eventually bursts out about shitty move choices and weird sets, or leo starts showing donnie videos abt odd pkmn getting high in latters, and then they start watching showdown battles...

and they lightbulb.

donnie loves building teams more than anything else, loves making them efficient as humanly possible.

leo loves showing the potential of odd pokemon and would kill for a good strategic challenge after all this time (hes been protecting against nemona and using electroweb against gym leaders, poor guy).

and, well, its not like you need anything special to get on the ladder in violet...

they start out simple, donnie building a basic team and leo reviewing it before going at the basic gen 9 ladders.

they kind of wreck house.

they just start going at the ladders with that team in their free time, then a different one when they get bored, then one with a few oddballs when donnie decides to ask leo what pokemon he wants to use, then they get kind of bored of just paldean pokemon so donnie gets to work understanding showdown...

but while its fun, they dont have anyone to brag to, because their brothers have no fucking clue what theyre talking about.

donnie has experience with youtube, right?

so they set up a little joint thing; a channel called disasterx2, no webcam, just videos about ladder battles. they end up specializing both in unique teams and movesets and in just vids about breaking down walls in ladders with a normal team. what makes both nifty is that donnie explains the whole team comp in a separate video to the battles, and the aesthetic quality is improved by donnies sensibilities and mikeys input (he was absolutely excited when they asked him to help with it. leo was no help. so much offense, actually, i have a feeling his fashion sense is good but the moment you try to make him make something look good visually on its own hes screwed.), and leos strategies are batshit, and ofc the boys are the boys, they go on tangents sometimes when they do real-time audio during battles and sometimes they just. dont cut them out. raph and mikey make guest appearances sometimes, april cheers them on on occasion, her and raph are very relieved bc its finally something non destructive they can spend their time on, its all great.

leo very often picks pokemon and movesets out and then donnie provides the pokemon (through breeding and stat spread tweaking, because god knows hed love that nerd shit). donnie likes it because 1. how leo uses those outlier pokemon is very interesting and 2. it gives him an opportunity to think about how to apply the right stats, natures, etc to apply to the pokemon and moves leo chose.

one of my favorite ever headcanons is that leo gets quiet when he focuses. like, dead quiet, and terrifyingly quiet. hes well known in their fandom for being very chatty over voiceover and then pretty quiet whenever hes playing challenging battles. donnie doesnt understand the strategies all that well so when leo gets too focused he just talks a lot abt the stat spreads and they add extra text to the video lmao. sometimes they utilize their clueless family members to have them ask questions they wouldnt have considered due to their knowledge in videos, sometimes donnie snags mikey while leos too quiet when theyre doing real-time audio, etc the fam knows theyre just glad theyre having fun

looks around flips through my mental notebook. nods twice. thats it i think! basically i think itd be fun if the twins played competitive but donnie built the teams and leo played hehe. i thought of it one day and it just stuck with me. anyways thanks for sticking w me through this long post that i need to end before my phone glitches out oops

[cloudshapedpatch]

found out how to add local files to spotify and put my friend's band in my playlists,,,,, it's like omg friend how did you get in there

[jewbeloved]

The Main 4 with a streamer! S/o

Warnings: None

Gender: Neutral

💙 Stan Marsh 🫧

He was surprised when you told him you were a streamer

When you ask him to join you in your next video, he hesitated but agreed to anyways.

You introduced him to your fans, and the chat greeted him.

He was a bit nervous, as time went by he became more comfortable and would ask to company you whenever you were streaming.

If he was at home and not in your record studio, he would watch your streams all day long and never get bored of it.

Whenever he saw mean comments in your comments section, he would get pissed.

He'd block or report those people in your comment section (If you let him)

He would probably also kiss you infront of dem haters and vomit on you after-

💚 Kyle Broflovski 🌱

This lil jew boi is happy for what you enjoy doing, but he might get nervous like Stan when you ask him to join your stream.

He will have no clue what to do, so he asks you what he's supposed to say to the chat every 1 mins.

But unlike Stan, Kyle would get use to being on your streams pretty quickly and would get along with your fans.

If he's at home, he would be watching your streams and Ike comes into his room and calls him a hypocrite because Kyle lectured Ike for watching PewDiePie and yet Kyle is watching you!

You're probably the only commentary YouTuber that Kyle accepts and likes.

He finds it funny whenever you scream if you're playing a horror game, but would check up on you to see if you're okay after your done playing it.

Like Stan, he would be pissed if he saw a mean comment in your chat.

He would also block them or ban them from your stream If you allow him to <3

Probably uses your stream studio to commentary on Cartman's actions to annoy him XD

❤️ Eric Cartman 🎀

He would literally steal your entire stream whenever you're absent.

Probably messes with your fans by insulting some of them.

Little did he know, that some of the people in the chat are his classmates from school.

There will be probably a bunch of drama going on and you getting involved into it-

You should probably only let Cartman in your record studio on special conditions next time.

If Cartman sees a mean comment.

Man will cancel and doxx that person on Twitter 😮😮

Are you really sure telling Cartman that you're a streamer was a good idea? 😭😭

🍊 Kenny Mccormick 🧡

If you invite him to your record studio, man will put on his princess Kenny persona-

He might earn a few simps while doing that tbh..

Probably will flirt with some people in the chat to-

You might start to get jealous that your fans are paying more attention to him then you and also because he's also flirting with them.

He will reassure you that he doesn't mean any harm when he flirts with your fans, it's simply just for fun <3 he will hug and kiss you infront of the camera to prove it.

I was bored again-

[icedgarlic]

AHAGAA I FINISHED BATMAN THE TELLTALE SERIES omg I was so godamn invested in this fucking game omfg I I so obsessed (spoilersss btw)

- I almost started crying when Bruce visited John

- Also Alfred leaving??? How could they make me decide between Alfred and Batman!?!?!?!!? (I chose Al lol)

- bro this second season had so many difficult scenarios like I was struggling at times

- John and Bruce's friendship is everything to me I'm going to pretend that it was genuine the entire time (they're my favorite Greek tragedy)

- even though I got the vigilante route i was really sad about John's ending

- FUCK WALLERRR bro the Agency really did my man Gordon dirty like he deserved so much better

- ngl I kinda betrayed Catwoman for John. IT WAS ALL FOR JOHN #NUMBER ONE JOHN DOE FAN RIGHT HERE

- THE CAFE DATE AHAHWHWWH

- making harley the dominant one instead? I LOVED IT

- Obsessed with Jokers vigilante gear so cool omg

- the music was so fun aahsgahqb

- TIFFANYS PLOT TWIST?? maybe I'm judt stupid but I had zero clue

- bro I was struggling to not watch the "John and Bruce being in love" complimations on YouTube for the past few weeks or I would've spoiled the game

- tbh I'm kinda surprised how easily I betrayed Catwoman like no heteros on my watch 🚫🚫❗❗❗❌❌❌❌

- Bruce being sassy and sarcastic about everything

- in love with the bar fight scene in season 1

- Anytime catwoman tried to make romantic advances toward Bruce: JUST FRIENDD RIGHT??? clicks X to friend zone

- Gordon deserves a coupon to the bohi spa to help his back from carrying to gcpd

- poor alfred he deserved so many hugs (and therapy)

- BRUCE WHY DIDNT YOU HUG BACK

- proposal when?!?!?!!?

- I need to stop

- please tell me The Batman took some inspo because they remind me of each other so much (the Wayne Scandal exposed on TV thing)

- pretty sure there's a lego batman movie reference when Catwoman Bruce and John are in riddlers hideout and she's like "we can't have lobster blah blah blah all the time" or whatever

- anyway 10/10 experience I don't play many games so I don't have much to base it on or any past experience to talk about. I'm shit at fighting so the cinematic aspect and fighting parts are so fun for me. They're action packed and make me anxious in a good way without making me feel stupid. I loved the plot and characters and music. My choices really made me feel like they were making an impact so I was second guessing everything. I wish we got a 3rd season sooo badly

- only critique is that I wished we got more John and Bruce but ik it wouldn't fit in the plot as well and the development I got for him is already fine. I'm just a really big fan of they're relationship and dynamic and how John was so impacted by Bruce.

[thefanficmonster]

Stranger In The Crowd

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Having recently ended the process of moving, Y/N is rightfully very tired but also very excited for the new chapter of her life. Funnily enough, this new chapter includes a newly formed long distance friendship/crush with a very special person from San Diego.

Requested by @boiled-onionrings Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request and I’m really sorry you’ve had to wait so long for it to be posted but here it finally is and I hope you enjoy the read! Love, Vy ❤

I let out a heavy sigh, relieved to finally be at home after such a long day of standing around in the Georgia heat with only a thin layer of fabric to protect my eyes and head from the scorching sun. Yeah, anyone who says that tent did well at protecting everyone under it today is nothing but a liar. I was in a short, strapless white summer dress, the fabric of which barely had any weight and consistency to provide heat of its own yet I still damn near melted. Ok, I’ll admit, some of the roasting heat probably came from the energy and force I put into singing the songs of my band’s new album ‘Starting At The End’. 

The mini concert we held in this large open field was meant as an introduction to the city of Savannah where all the band members - myself included - are actually from but we all moved to the West Coast to pursue our music career. And now that we’ve grown, and the majority of us are married, one of us is a father now as well, we’ve decided to return to our hometown. The decision was so spontaneous and was executed so quickly due to no one objecting to it that it still hasn’t me that I’m no longer in LA. The heat isn’t helping my ‘processing’ process but I’ll get to it eventually. Do I miss LA though? Not sure I do - I think I more miss the people I was closer to while I was there.

Suddenly, as if perfectly timed, my phone dings, notifying me that I’ve received a message. I don’t have to look to know it’s from - there’s only one person I actively text and his name is....

C ~ Your virtual buddy Corpse here, making sure you didn’t die of a heatstroke today. If you did indeed survive, just reply to this message, if not....don’t do anything, I guess.

I can’t help but giggle at the sight of the message. I promised Corpse I’d text him after the concert to let him know I was ok, but the even dragged out for longer than anticipated so I’m guessing he got worried.

How cute.

Me ~ Alive and well, but I do feel like a popped tire of an overloaded truck. Hope that’s a visually appealing description

Corpse and I met on the charity livestream Jacksepticeye organized and invited our band to so we could play Among Us with some of the best gamers and streamers on the internet. It was a huge honor and a ton of fun, definitely an event I’d like to repeat in the near future because I had such a good time and I know all my bandmates did too. We all got acquainted and even became official friends with the gamers that were practically our hosts, Corpse becoming the closest friends I’d earn. That livestream happened months ago and we still text just as consistently.

C ~ Oh I know EXACTLY what you mean. Anyway, as to not exhaust you further to force you into typing, how about you send me pictures to sum up your thoughts and emotions and plans for the evening

This is OUR THING trademark, mine and Corpse’s and no one can take it away from us. It’s a significant element of our friendship that enables us both to understand one another when one of us feels the way I described in my message - a popped tire or a deflated balloon. I’m usually the exhausted one - blame the many shows we do and the many meet-and-greets we organize for our lovely fans. It’s the type of exhaustion none of the band members mind at all, but we definitely need some time to recover from it.

As I go to sit down on my couch, the flower crown I’ve been wearing slips off the top of my head, falling on the floor, creating a soft noise that attracts the attention of one of my many cats - Sasha. She’s the youngest and most curious kitty in the family, always protected by the other four - Luna, Cassie, Silver and Lynn. Those four are far lazier and a lot more disinterested in comparison to Sasha who immediately runs over to see what’s fallen.

I smile to myself, taking the flower crown and undoing it to lessen it by a few stems to make it smaller, all the while being watched by the curious Sasha whose interest is rewarded in the end when I put the now adorably tiny flower crown on her head.

While she still hasn’t shaken the thing off I manage to snap a pic which I send to Corpse who opens it mere seconds after it was delivered. 

C ~ Sasha’s pulling off your aesthetic better than you. Sorry, someone had to let you know

I burst out laughing for two reasons - 1.The message itself, damn it! It’s hilarious; 2. Corpse has learnt the name of each one of my cats and never mixes them up - not even Luna and Lynn who look almost identical. That amount of attention to detail is astonishing and very meaningful to me, it genuinely warms my heart and that may or may not be dramatic but it’s definitely not exaggerated.

Me ~ You think I haven’t caught on yet? 

C ~ Well, if it makes you feel any better you pull off my aesthetic better than I do

He’s referring to the e-girl look I did for one show the band had in downtown LA one night. I was drunk and looking forward to trying new things so I improvised the hell out of my outfit but I apparently looked presentable enough to leave a good impression on Corpse despite the pic I sent him being a bit blurry and being a mirror selfie in the bathroom of the very bar we were performing in. It goes without saying that the mirror was dirty too - had a bunch of writing on it which Corpse said only added to the aesthetic. Looking back on it now I kinda agree, and luckily so did the fans in the comments of that same photo when I posted it on Instagram.

Me ~ Means a lot actually. Nowhere near enough to aid the burn of having a cat pull off cottagecore better than I do, but still helps XD

As if sensing that we’re talking about her, Sasha hops on the couch, poking her head over my phone to look down at the screen.

Now this is gonna be golden.

I take a selfie with my phone in my lap, the camera capturing both me and Sasha at a rather unflattering angle which has me losing my mind laughing when I send the picture to Corpse who immediately sends back a string of cry-laughing emojis.

C ~ I can’t tell which one of you is cuter

Me ~ If that was a compliment, I gotta say I appreciate it greatly

C ~ Just telling the truth ;)

It’s times like these that the butterflies in my stomach remind me just why I’ve started catching feelings for this man despite all the distance between us and despite barely knowing him - he knows me more than I know him but I don’t mind it, oddly enough.

I’m fond of our connection and though I sometimes dream of something more, I’m also content with what we already have considering that ‘something more’ seems rather unattainable as of now.

My phone dings again, clearing the fog of thoughts and presenting me with a new message from Corpse.

C ~ Oh, by the way, look what I got....

That message is followed up by a picture of a ticket. A plane ticket to Georgia! 

While I’m still busy stomaching this and dealing with my quickly rising excitement, he sends another message.

C ~ I hope to catch a The Silver Rays concert while I’m there. Heard they had an adorable frontwoman ;)

My breath catches in my throat as a wide grin spreads across my face. The thought of having Corpse so close to me sends those aforementioned butterflies in my stomach into a raving mood and they practically explode my insides with excitement and joy like I’ve never felt it before. I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that we’re about to go from having an entire country between us, to being just some ways away - him in the audience and me on stage without a single clue of who to look for. That’s part of the excitement though, I guess, part of the guessing game that’s gonna make our meeting all the more interesting.

He’ll be a stranger in the crowd and I’ll be a performer on a stage - seemingly two people who have no relation whatsoever. But damn does it go beyond that: No one has to know how hard I’m falling for that stranger in the crowd.

Me ~ I’ve heard so too, can’t confirm it though

If this is gonna be a guessing game, I’ll flip the tables a bit - I won’t take any guesses. I’ll let the answer come to me. I’ll give the first move over to the stranger in the crowd, let’s see what he does.

C ~ I’ll check and let you know, don’t worry

Not worried whatsoever, Corpsie. I’m not worried at all.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse  @sunnyrae-cessh  @ladykxxx08  @meowiemari  @renupf  @booklover76  @sra-verissimo

[rsitb-second-account]

Borrower Intruloceit

Janus, Remus and Logan were (very happily) in a polyamorous relationship. However, to most of the world, Janus and Remus were just a couple. You see, Logan was a borrower; a tiny person that lives in the walls of human houses and steals from those humans in order to survive. And, he’s a secret. 

Here’s three close calls and the one time everyone found out about Logan.

1. The time Remus’ brother showed up unannounced

Logan was sitting on the arm of the couch, having a movie date with his boyfriends, when the door slammed open. He quickly gestured to Janus’ pocket, hoping he would understand. Luckily, he nodded and quickly scooped up the borrower and deposited him in the fairly large (to Logan at least) pocket.

“good evening, Roman. Is there a reason you showed up unannounced, or did you just want to ruin our date?” Janus spoke coldly

“oh- I- uh.. I didn’t know you two had a date tonight..” Roman rubbed his neck sheepishly

“us three” Logan corrected under his breath, shifting his position slightly. Unfortunately, Roman seemed to notice the movement from the pocket. 

“What’s in your pocket?” He asked hesitantly

Logan stilled and held his breath as Janus answered “why do you want to know?” 

Remus was staying silent, not trusting himself to not accidentally let something slip.

“I want to know beca-” he was cut off by Remus

“why are you here Roman?”

That quickly distracted the human “oh! I was just-” he explained why he was there, Logan still forcing himself to be still.

Once the dramatic man had left, the borrower let out an annoyed sigh “you really need to take away his key, so he can’t do this again. It is rather annoying to have to hide every two seconds that Roman shows up unexpectedly”

Remus giggled “and what would we tell him? ‘oh yeah our secret tiny boyfriend doesn’t like it when you burst in randomly so we’re gonna take your key’ I don’t think that would work very well, tiny nerd”

2. Janus’ brother shows up slightly less unannounced than Roman

Janus, Remus and Logan were watching random Youtube videos, with Logan sat on Remus’ shoulder. They heard the door open at the same time as Janus got a text message from his brother, Virgil

Was on a walk and saw your house. Am now in your house :)

Luckily, there was an entrance to the walls right next to where they were sat and Logan practically ran into it, the entrance closing just as Virgil entered the room.

“Virgil, do you have a reason to be here other than being an annoyance?” Janus raised an eyebrow at his younger sibling

“Nope!” Virgil replied with fake cheerfulness, before sitting cross-legged on the floor staring at the other humans. Remus just stared back, but with a slightly more eerie tone to his actions. 

Janus just sighed at his boyfriend and his brother. He had no doubt that Logan was watching with an annoyed face that he would deny ever making. Almost everything they tried to do together was interrupted by someone bursting in uninvited, and it was getting tiresome. He heard a faint noise from the walls and by the looks of it Virgil and Remus heard it too.

Logan had gotten into a fight with a (luckily non-venomous) spider, and had just killed it, when he tripped. The impact made him hiss with pain and, unfortunately, made a semi-loud sound on its own. “... what was that?” He heard Virgil ask

Janus and Remus looked at each other for a split second, before Janus shrugged and said that it was probably nothing

“Anyway, emo, if you’re scared and you didnt come here for a reason, you can leave” Remus said, slightly too bluntly.

Virgil, thankfully for Logan, did in fact leave. It was at exactly that moment that the borrower decided that Virgil was better (if only slightly) than Roman

3. The time with Patton

Logan was wandering around the house (its his house and he can do that now that the humans knew about him) when a knock at the door sounded. Suddenly really glad that he stayed near the walls on his walk, he rushed into the closest entrance. 

He knew that this would be Patton (he was the only person who ever bothered to knock) but he still couldn’t decide whether this particular human was as good as Virgil or not. He was better than Roman, not as loud (though still pretty loud), and not as keen on staying somewhere that he didn’t own. However, he wasn’t as quiet as Virgil, and had accidentally hurt his ears quite a few times, but at least he knocked instead of bursting in randomly with little to no warning.

He watched from a vent as Remus opened the door

“Heya Remus! Can i come in?” Patton greeted with obviously fake happiness and Logan could see a smile that seemed just a little too forced

“of course, do you want to sit down? I’ll go get Janus” Remus genuinely had no clue what to do, but Janus was slightly better at comforting people. Logan was better at it as well, because he’d bring up facts about why you’re good, but it wasn’t like Logan could comfort Patton..

Janus quickly rushed to the living room, where his best friend was obviously trying to hold back tears. 

Logan watched Patton rant about both everything and nothing at the same time, obviously just needing someone to talk to. As much as he hated to admit it, he was still annoyed at the interruption that had forced him into the walls. He couldn’t control what annoyed him, and that in itself was an annoyance. He wanted to sympathise with the human, but did he have to show up right as Logan was finally relaxing? He decided to just randomly do things on the phone his boyfriends had given him. It had been hard to drag to his house in the walls but it made it easier to not get bored and to contact the two humans

4. When everyone (finally) finds out

Logan had had enough. The three humans that didn’t live in the house had all shown up unexpectedly, together. Whilst Logan, Remus and Janus were trying to finally have uninterrupted time together. Of course that’s when they show up Logan thought bitterly. They had showed up for, as they put it, a ‘surprise sleepover’

He glanced at his phone leaning on the wall next to his bed and a thought popped into his head. The humans were bound to find out anyway, if they were to keep bursting in unexpectedly, so why not just tell them?

Logan unlocked his phone, opening Whatsapp and typing out a message

‘tel VIrgl patan and romun to stay were they are. im reveeling mysellf to them. im going throo the enterance on the bukshelf. see yoo soon’

He probably spelt most of it wrong, but he hadn’t exactly gotten taught spelling. All he was taught in regards to reading, was just barely enough to figure out what he was taking and if it was dangerous or not. And he was making a life-changing decision, so he thought that meant he could make as many spelling mistakes as he did, and play it off to nervousness.

Janus and Remus both looked at their phones and paled. What was Logan thinking?! It seemed that the other humans had noticed their uneasiness “what’s wrong? What’s on your phones that is making you react like this??” Virgil asked, worry lacing his tone

“Don’t worry, Vee. It’s nothing bad, it’s just.. unexpected. ...You’ll see, just stay there” Janus soothed his brother

“you two stay there as well” Remus added , getting up and walking towards the bookshelf, Janus soon joining him. They looked at where they knew the entrance was, waiting for it to open.

Roman piped up “uh, care to tell us what is going on?”

“we will, but not yet. We need to wait” 

“well, that was ominous..” Virgil commented, seeming slightly nervous

Then, the entrance opened and Logan walked out glaring softly at the shocked humans

“uh, Remus, what the fuck is that?!” Roman practically shouted, reminding Logan just why he was on the bottom of his list of favourites. 

“He is our boyfriend, and I expect you to treat him with respect” Janus said, his voice venomous. Remus held out a hand for Logan to climb onto, which the borrower did, still glaring at the other humans (mostly Roman). 

“Salutations. I am Logan, do not introduce yourselves, I already know who you are” He spoke before muttering an “unfortunately”

Remus, being the only person close enough to hear the mutter, let out a chuckle “Lo, if you revealed yourself just to complain about them to their faces, this will be hilarious”

The three humans were staring in shock, until Roman snapped out of it “Wait- why would he be complaining? I don’t know about those two, but I am positively amazing!” 

Logan scoffed “yeah, amazing. You’re too loud, burst in randomly, and it’s always for the stupidest reasons. You have hurt my ears far too many times to count, and almost every time me, Janus and Remus try to do something together, you show up, and I have to hide or go back to the walls. So, yeah, amazing” He spoke, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

He turned to the other two “you two aren’t as bad, but you still manage to show up at some of the worst possible times. Patton, you are quite loud, but not as loud as Roman, so that makes you slightly better. Also, you don’t burst in, and you knock so that’s something good. Virgil, you’re not as loud as these two, which is good, and you always send a text message when you show up, so I have at least a little bit of warning before going into the walls, so you’re both better than Roman” not that that’s saying much he added mentally.

-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-/\-

I kinda wanna write a prequel about how Logan, Remus and Janus met..

Tag list: @icantthinkofacreativeurl @vann-cat @moonfrost-star-comics

[haikyuuhoo]

Contemporaneous - Chapter 2

Pairing: Atsumu x F!Reader

Summary: In which you are so incredibly lucky to exist at the same time as Atsumu Miya. Or, perhaps, it’s the exact opposite…

Words: 4.1k

Warnings: Swearing, talk about dyeing hair when in reality I have never dyed hair or had my hair dyed lmao.

A/N: This turned out a bit longer than I anticipated, but I hope y’all like it! As always, feel free to let me know what you think :)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 3

If you had to guess when everything changed, you’d probably say it was the day you helped the twins dye their hair. It was such a mundane thing, but it was so weirdly different than you were used to. They insisted that since they’d be going to a new school where they didn’t know many people it would be helpful for people to tell them apart. There was nothing they, with their competitive natures, hated more than being mistaken for their twin.

You were sat on the counter in their bathroom, Atsumu sitting between your legs as you applied the blonde hair dye to his head. The three of you had been at this for hours; the time it took to bleach their hair enough to prepare it for the dye had felt like an eternity. Their mom had helped with that part, insisting that if her boys were going to dye their hair she wasn’t going to let them mess it up.

“Stop squirming,” you mumbled to Atsumu, trying to focus on making sure you were getting everything evenly coated.

“’S boring just sitting here,” he complained, and you raised an eyebrow.

“Would you rather do this yourself?”

He stiffened up for a moment before letting his shoulders slump. You couldn’t see his face, but you assumed from the way Osamu snickered that he was pouting. “No. Sorry.”

“Good, now shut up,” you sighed.

Silence settled over the room and you felt your cheeks starting to heat up as you looked down at Atsumu. He seemed like he was dozing off with the way his shoulders rose and fell rhythmically with his breaths.

“Done,” you finally announced. You looked over at your phone and pressed play on the YouTube tutorial you three had found on how to dye hair at home. You were about to be first-year high school students, after all, you didn’t really have any clue what you were doing. “We’ll check it in a bit and see if we need to touch it up, I guess,” you finally added.

Atsumu let out a soft hum of acknowledgement and got up to switch spots with his twin.

As you got Osamu’s color ready you couldn’t help but glance over at Atsumu who was closing his eyes again. The sight made something erupt inside you, and you tried to push it away as you turned your attention to his brother.

“Okay,” you said and cleared your throat, “I think this color should be easier.”

You didn’t know what had come over you, but you continued to steal glances at Atsumu, and the butterflies that had swarmed in your stomach fluttered their wings every time your gaze landed on his content face.

The beginning of your first year of high school was when things really started going downhill. Well, downhill for you at least.

For the twins, everything was going up.

They were on the volleyball team for a powerhouse school, they were improving every day, and they were starting to get even more attention than normal. They were getting attention for their talent, of course, but they were also getting female attention. A lot of it.

A frown had settled on your lips as you stepped out of your classroom and into the hallway. You were supposed to meet the twins for lunch, something you’d done for years, so today shouldn’t have been any different.

But it was.

A crowd had formed in the hallway, and you already knew what it was for by the way the girls squealed their names. Your best friends’ names. You pushed your way through the crowd, finally making your way to your friends and tugging on the back of Osamu’s blazer when you reached him. “’Samu,” you breathed, and the twins turned to look at you. “’Tsumu,” you added, quickly looking away. “Uh, lunch?”

Osamu nodded immediately, and Atsumu had a small bit of decency to give the crowd of girls an apologetic smile as they returned to your classroom with you to eat lunch.

You could practically feel the dozens of pairs of eyes glaring daggers into your back, and a cold sweat rose on the back of your neck.

The routine was the same nearly every day, but you started to grow tired of the way some girls would go out of their way to pull on your hair or your clothes or attempt to trip you as you made your way through the crowd.

So one day, you didn’t.

You stayed at your desk when everyone was excused for lunch, and you silently pulled your bento out. You could hear the excited squeals coming from the hallway and you grimaced. It nearly made you lose your appetite. But you tried to ignore it, even though you were getting more and more discouraged with each passing minute that you ate alone.

“Hey,” Atsumu said, catching up to you as you exited the school at the end of the day to walk home. You were doing that more and more often recently since the twins always had practice after school, and sometimes you considered joining a club yourself so that you would be able to walk home with them again. He was already in his practice clothes, evidence that he’d run from the gym just to catch you before you left.

You looked up and gave him a small smile. “Hey. Don’t you have practice?”

“Why didn’t ya come get us to eat lunch today?” he asked with a frown, ignoring your question.

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. You hadn’t thought he cared. Besides, if they wanted to eat lunch with you, they could have just come to your classroom. “I just thought you’d come by if you wanted to eat together,” you explained. “But I get it, it’s kinda hard to ignore all that attention you two are getting, huh?” you laughed, giving him a bright grin in an attempt to hide the way you were feeling inside.

He frowned. “Yer kinda like our way of getting outa there,” he admitted with a sheepish smile, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. “It’s hard to say no to them otherwise.”

You scoffed. “I doubt that I’m really your ticket out. They don’t really like me, anyway.”

His eyebrows knitted together. “Whadda ya mean?”

“’Tsumu,” you sighed with a roll of your eyes. “You’ve got a group of fan girls and every day I come and take you away from them. I’d go as far as to say they hate me.”

Atsumu let out a soft “Tch,” and crossed his arms. “Well who cares what they think? Yer our best friend. I only care about what you think.”

“Mmm,” you hummed, tugging on the strap of your backpack. You looked away from him, eyes settling on a tree at the front of the school that was swaying in the afternoon breeze. “Well, I don’t particularly enjoy having to push through that crowd every day, so why don’t you just practice telling them no? You’re gonna have to deal with this for three years, you know.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but he was interrupted before he could get any words out.

“Atsumu,” Suna called, sticking his head out of the doors of the gym. “Coach says to get inside so we can start practice or he’ll have you run laps.”

Atsumu sighed, shoulders slumping. “I’ll see you later.”

You nodded and started to take a few steps away from him. “If you want to eat lunch with me tomorrow, come find me. I don’t think I’ll like eating alone for three years,” you teased, trying not to let on how much it actually bothered you.

He rolled his eyes and gave you a smirk that made your stomach flutter. “As if we’ll have fan girls for three years. It’ll blow over by the end of the season, just watch.”

But it didn’t blow over. In fact, it only got worse.

And Atsumu didn’t come sit with you at lunch every day.

Osamu almost always did—you couldn’t separate him from his food if you tried—but Atsumu skipped most days.

“I think he just likes the attention,” Osamu had said one day through a mouthful of rice.

You shrugged, chopsticks pushing around the food in your bento. “I can’t really blame him,” you sighed, cheek resting on your free hand. “I just wish he’d at least tell us.”

Osamu rolled his eyes. “Ya know that isn’t like him. Hasn’t been for three years.”

“I know,” you groaned, leaning back in your chair and letting your head fall back in frustration. “I just miss him, y’know?”

“Gross,” Osamu laughed before shoveling more rice into his mouth. “Why would ya want ta spend more time with him?”

“I hope you aren’t talking about me,” Suna said as he sunk into the seat beside you.

You looked up and gave him a smile, shaking your head. “Never, I actually like you,” you laughed.

You’d become close with Suna over the last three years. It was only natural that you did, since he was in your year and the twins’ best friend on the team. He was a welcome addition to your trio.

The corner of Suna’s mouth quirked up as he got out his lunch. “Then who are you talking about?”

“Who d’ya think?” Osamu quipped with his mouth full, prompting you to reach over and flick his forehead.

“For how much you like food, you’d think you would appreciate it more and not talk with your mouth full,” you scolded, crossing your arms and muttering a quiet, “trashy,” under your breath.

“Don’t call me that!”

“Then don’t act like it!”

“Jeez, and here I was thinking I’d get a break from the Miya twins’ famous bickering. I forget you’re just as bad as them, Y/N,” Suna groaned.

“Oh, shut it, Suna,” you grumbled, shoving a piece of broccoli in your mouth.

He chuckled and looked at you with an amused glint in his eyes. “Someone’s grumpy.”

“’S ‘cause she wants ‘Tsumu to have lunch with us,” Osamu explained.

You huffed. “Is it so wrong of me to want to eat lunch with one of my best friends? This is like, two weeks in a row he’s ditched us in favor of those dumb girls,” you whined.

Suna hummed in understanding. “I think I heard one of them ask him out when I was walking here,” he said, but you didn’t even have the energy to act surprised.

“And he accepted, no?” you asked, though you were already certain you knew the answer.

“Mhm. I think that’s like the third date this week. I don’t know how he keeps up with everything.”

Suna was right. It was his third date that week. But the thing that made it even more frustrating was that you were supposed to study with the twins after school, and that meant he was bailing. Again. It was happening more and more recently.

“He doesn’t,” Osamu laughed, before going on to say exactly what you were thinking. “He never studies anymore. He’ll be lucky if he graduates.”

At first you hadn’t been concerned with him cancelling plans a couple times. Even with all the attention he got, he still hung out with you, still ate lunch with you, so it felt like you were still friends. But now you went more days not hanging out with him than you ever had. It was like he’d turned eighteen and thought that meant he could focus only on volleyball and girls, as if he didn’t have to graduate high school too.

And it fucking sucked. You were too many years too deep into your crush on him, there was no way you were going to say anything now. With the way he was treating you recently it felt like that would be the thing that would push the two of you apart for good.

All you wanted to do was keep whatever semblance of a friendship the two of you had intact, even if that meant suffering on the sidelines.

Unbeknownst to you, Suna and Osamu shared a knowing glance while you went back to pushing your food around.

“It’s whatever. I get it. I mean, why wouldn’t you want to bask in all that glory?” you sighed before sitting up straight and looking back and forth between your two friends. “I really don’t care.”

What a big fat lie.

Later that night, you were over at the Miya twins’ house studying for finals, just as planned. And as expected, only you and Osamu sat at the table.

Atsumu was out with that girl—that wasn’t a surprise at all, even though Osamu had reminded him of the study session after lunch—and he’d bailed on you for the third time that week. He told you to just go ahead with it anyway, that you didn’t have to reschedule for him. It made you so angry, especially when it clicked in your head that the only days he was going on dates were the days that you had plans with him.

Was he doing it on purpose?

You were staring at your textbook, but you hadn’t turned the page in at least ten minutes. You couldn’t focus, not when you knew Atsumu was on a date with a girl that wasn’t you. A girl he would pick over you. You shoved the heels of your hands against your eyes and groaned.

“I’m an idiot,” you muttered.

“Mhm,” Osamu hummed dismissively, scribbling something down in his notebook. That response was normal, especially when you were studying and weren’t understanding something, but today it earned him a glare. It took him a few moments to notice you were looking at him, and he recoiled as he met your gaze across the table. “What?”

“You weren’t supposed to agree, dumbass,” you sneered.

He raised an eyebrow. “I always agree with you when ya say that. You’ve never gotten mad,” he pointed out.

“Yeah but I’m obviously sad today, it’s different,” you whined as you dropped your head onto your textbook.

“You’ll do fine. You’ve never gotten a bad grade on an exam you’ve stressed over before,” he sighed, turning his attention back to his notes.

“It’s not about the exam, ‘Samu,” you grumbled into your textbook, the words muffled by the pages.

That piqued his interest. You were never one to get sad; at least, not like this. You didn’t really voice your sadness, even to him, and he was your best friend so that was definitely saying something. You always had a bubbly personality that people were drawn to, and yeah, maybe you were a little more quiet lately, but he figured it was just because of the upcoming finals and graduation. He set his pen down, stretching his arms up and then interlocking his fingers behind his head. Leaning back in his chair, he looked down at you, your face still hidden in your textbook. “What is it then?”

You were silent.

“…Nothing,” you finally mumbled.

“It’s ‘Tsumu, isn’t it?” he asked, tone even and blunt as always.

Your head snapped up, and you could feel your cheeks beginning to tingle with heat as you looked at him with wide eyes. “H-How did you know?”

He smirked and gave you a small shrug. “Well, you’ve obviously been upset he’s bailing on us. But it’s more than that, yeah?” When you just continued to stare at him in shock he sighed. “You’re my best friend. Ya really think I wouldn’t be able to notice the way ya look at him? You’re not subtle,” he teased, making your face flush hotter.

“S-So you’re saying he knows I like him?” Your head was spinning, and you could feel a knot forming in your stomach. If he knew, and he was going out with other girls, what did that mean? Did he just pity you? Did he not think you were good enough? Did he—

Your thoughts got cut off as Osamu waved his hand, nose scrunched up as he shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think so. He’s an actual idiot.”

“Oh,” you breathed, shoulders slumping as your gaze fell back to your textbook. Part of you was relieved that he didn’t know about your feelings for him, but another part of you was pained to know that you still had to hide this secret from him and watch in agony as he took countless other girls on dates.

“Ya should probably tell him,” Osamu said, looking at you in a way you could only equate to a disappointed father looking at his child.

“I think I’m good like this, he doesn’t need to know,” you said meekly, and you could feel the heat in your cheeks rising up to your ears.

Osamu scoffed, pushing his textbook away and leaning his forearms on the table. “Yer not good, Y/N. Yer hurting, and I can tell. And it’s been getting even worse lately. Just because ‘Tsumu can’t see the way ya feel about him doesn’t mean ya should just sit around and feel sorry for yerself. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”

You blanched, looking up at him like he was crazy. “I could lose my best friend!” you squeaked, making him give you a fake pout.

“Hey!”

“You know what I mean,” you hissed, covering your face with your hands. “He doesn’t need to know,” you repeated.

“Who doesn’t need to know what?”

You froze at the sound of Atsumu’s voice and the front door closing. You waited, knowing he was removing his shoes and dropping his keys in the tray by the door before making his way to the dining room where you were sitting with his brother.

“Are we gossiping?” Atsumu smirked as he sat at the end of the table, putting his hands behind his head in the way Osamu had done just minutes before. However, this time, your heart fluttered. Your gaze fixated on the way his muscles flexed beneath the button up shirt he was wearing, the way his hair fell in front of his eyes, the way—

You were staring, but Osamu interjected before either of you could say anything.

“Where’s your date?”

You sent him a thankful glance, shrinking back in your chair and pulling the hood of your sweatshirt over your head. Atsumu was to your side, so if you positioned the hood just right then he wouldn’t be able to see the distraught look on your face.

Atsumu rolled his eyes. “I dropped her off at her place. Wasn’t into it. She wouldn’t stop talking during the movie and she kept clinging ta my arm everywhere we went, and it was just—” he shook his head, a look of disgust on his face, “—not good.”

You hummed quietly, wanting to acknowledge you were listening without paying much attention to the way Atsumu talked about his date. You hated him for it. The way he would go out with whatever girl flung herself at him, even just once, without even getting to know her first. You hated the way he gave every girl a chance except for you.

Sure, you had never tried to make it obvious to him that you liked him, but surely if he had any kind of interest in you then he would have given you a chance.

Right?

“How’s studying?” Atsumu changed the subject again, and you were relieved he hadn’t circled back to his earlier question.

“Fine,” Osamu mumbled, but you were quickly gathering up your things.

You shoved them in your bag and stood up. “I’m gonna go home.” It was an announcement, but your voice was small. You didn’t even look either of them in the eyes.

Atsumu looked up at you, and you could see a hint of sadness in his honey brown irises. “But I thought ya were staying over,” he protested with a pout.

You quickly looked away from him. You both knew that he could easily get you to do whatever he wanted with a sweet lilt to his voice and a flash of some puppy dog eyes—you weren’t going to let that happen.

You cleared your throat and tugged your bag onto your shoulder. “Yeah, well… I forgot extra clothes,” you lied, and you tried to hide the grimace at the fact that they could probably both easily see through it.

“Ah, that’s no problem. I can give ya some of mine,” Atsumu said with a smile, but you shook your head. Even if you were telling the truth, that would have been so much worse than sleeping in your own clothes.

“I said I’m going home, Atsumu,” you said sharply.

He blinked, recoiling slightly in shock. You never called him that. It was always ‘Tsumu, and sometimes TsumTsum when you wanted something from him, but never Atsumu. It was only Atsumu when you were actually angry with him, which was rare.

What had he done to make you angry?

He stood from the table and looked down at you with a frown. “At least let me walk ya home then.”

“No.” You tried to be forceful, but your voice came out weak. “I think you’ve walked enough girls home for the night. Please just leave me alone.” You pushed past him, shoulder knocking against his bicep as you tried to squeeze around him in the small space.

He grabbed your arm to stop you, but he couldn’t find the words to say when you looked up at him. There was a kind of pain he could sense behind your eyes, and it made him frown deeper. Why weren’t you talking to him? He’d never seen you like this; you’d always confided in him when something was bothering you.

You pulled your arm away when he didn’t say anything, not missing the pitiful look Osamu gave you as you left the house, mumbling a quiet, “I’ll see you later, guys,” your voice trembling.

You dug your headphones out of your bag from where they were buried under the clothes that you had, in fact, brought with you. You put them on and turned your music up, hoping the noise would distract you from the thoughts swirling around in your head. It helped, but it didn’t stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks subconsciously, nor did it do anything to block out the sound of your own sobs when everything hit you at once.

You were never going to be what he wanted.

You were never going to be enough for him.

He went out on countless dates with girls he knew he didn’t even like. Osamu always insisted it was just because he needed the ego boost, but he wouldn’t even spare you a second glance in the way he did them.

To you, all that meant was that you were worse than them.

Worse than the girls Atsumu didn’t even like from the start.

And even worse than the girls he did.

How in the world would you ever compete with that?

“What’s up with her?” Atsumu asked, hands on his hips as he watched the front door close.

“Maybe you’d know if ya started acting like her friend again,” Osamu quipped, gaze settling back on his textbook.

“What’s that supposed ta mean?” Atsumu snapped, glaring at his twin. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

Osamu scoffed, not taking his eyes off his notes. “Ya really are an idiot.”

“The hell are ya trying to say?” Atsumu growled, anger bubbling in his veins.

The gray-haired twin looked at his brother, eyebrow raised, unamused. As—almost—always, he was calm in the face of his brother’s anger. “This is the sixth time ya’ve cancelled on her in two weeks. Why wouldn’t she be upset?”

Atsumu sneered, crossing his arms. “Well what kind of friend is she if she can’t be happy for me going on dates? There’s nothing wrong with what I’m doing!”

Osamu stood, the chair clattering and falling over behind him. It was scary sometimes, the way his face was so stoic while fire burned behind his eyes. “That’s such a load of shit, ‘Tsumu, and ya know it. What kind of friend are you to cancel on her for girls ya don’t give a fuck about?” he seethed.

“I wouldn’t go out with them if I didn’t give a fuck!”

“Right. So ya just don’t give a fuck about Y/N.”

Atsumu froze. Was that really what you thought? He didn’t think there had been any issue. You’d never voiced any concern to him, so how was he supposed to know you were upset with him?

How was he supposed to know when you were growing quieter and more distant? How was he supposed to know when you were smiling less around him? How was he supposed to know when he was seemingly blind to the way you felt about him, his gaze landing on what felt like every girl other than you?

But he did know.

He knew all too well, and all he wanted to do was run away from it.

I can open a tag list for this if people are interested! Just send me an ask :)

@kixoomi​

[un-beel-ievable]

The demon brothers making plushies that look like MC 🧸

Author’s note: Please do not repost!! If you like my writing, please leave a like and a comment (and follow me to see similar content in the future :D)!

_____

Lucifer ☕:

• It's impeccable, as everything Lucifer does is. Lucifer's attention to detail is second to none.

• He tries to play the plushie off as no big deal, but literally everyone can see how much effort he's put into his handicraft. The eyes of the plushie are the exact same hue as yours are (Remember when Lucifer disappeared for a week and didn't tell anyone where he was going? I'll tell you now -he was wandering from craft shop to craft shop, trying to find thread that would reflect just how beautiful your eyes are.), and he's somehow managed to replicate a tiny version of your favourite graphic tee -down to the small imperfection on the printed design.

• Wherever he goes, the plushie follows. If he's taking a power nap, it sits on his pillow. If he's doing work at his table, it sits on his laptop, ready to help (however much a plushie can help, anyway). Even when he's in student council meetings, the plushie follows. (Diavolo thinks it's adorable, and has a miniature chair custom made for the "newest student council member". Lucifer can't decide on whether Diavolo is mocking him or not.)

Mammon 💳

• He tried his best, he really did. And I'm not saying that because the plushie he made was terrible, no, it was actually pretty decent!

• He doesn't have a clue on how plushies are made, but when he saw the plushie you made of him, he decided he wanted one too. But of you, of course. 

• He's too prideful (More like your big brother than you'd like to admit, huh, Mammon?) and embarrassed to admit to you that he has no idea what he's doing, so instead of asking you for help, he turns to YouTube videos and craft blogs to learn how to crochet. After restarting his 2nd row for the 76th time and having to untangle his ball of yarn for the 40th, he's almost ready to admit defeat.

• But then he imagines how happy you'd be when you laid eyes on the plushie he'd made of you (because "EVERYONE would want a plushie made by the GREAT Mammon, it's an honour to be chosen to be MY model." )...and suddenly he's crocheting like he's been practicing for years instead of hours, breezing through instructional videos and reading written patterns like a pro.

• His final product is slightly lopsided...but other than that it's really good!! Especially for someone who had never touched a crochet hook in his life before.

• Uses mini you to practice asking real you out.

Leviathan 🎮

• Is relatively decent at using a sewing machine. After all, he tailors his own cosplay. (And if a new season of 'Ruri-chan: Magical Girls Forever!' comes out and Ruri-chan happens to be wearing an outfit he particularly likes in it...sometimes he creates a tiny replica of it for his Ruri-chan nesoberi.)

• Ruri-chan has her own shrine in a corner of Levi's room...and now you do as well!

• Your "shrine" is basically a wooden shelf (painted in your favourite colour, of course) with a cork board mounted on the wall above it. Plushie you sits on a tiny throne on the shelf, with all the presents the real you has ever gifted him surrounding your cotton stuffed twin. The noticeboard holds a countless number of momentos -mostly photographs of the two of you and tickets from all the anime concerts and events you guys have been to.

• (The throne you sit on is a replica of the fairy queen's rose quartz throne in season 4, episode 19 of ‘Ruri-chan: Magical Girls Forever!' . Official merchandise, of course; there are only about 50 of the official ones left in existence. Ruri-chan had been perched on this very throne for over a decade, all of the other demon brothers were shocked when Levi dethroned Ruri-chan just for you.)

Satan 📚

• His plushie is perfect. Almost...too perfect.

• He's become an expert in plushie making after ploughing through an endless mountain of craft books and making his way through all the handicraft videos to ever exist. And his work shows the results of his diligent research...his final product looks machine made. Flawless. No one can fault him on technique...his work is outstanding. But somehow, something is still...off. It's too perfect, too lifeless. There's no personality to it whatsoever.

• So he spends the next week experimenting with different techniques and materials. He tries crocheting, knitting, making sock plushies...but somehow he still can't capture what makes you...you.

• Mammon notices Satan giving himself a brain aneurysm over this, and makes a comment on instead of trying to think his way through the situation like he always does, he should just "feel for it, you know? Put some heart into it."

• Mammon usually says some strange things...but this time Mammon's words actually seem to resonate with Satan. So he gives it a shot, and pours his entire heart and soul into the next plushie he makes. While the plushie looks virtually the same as all his other attempts, somehow this one feels different. 

• It feels right.

Asmodeus 👄

• Commissions someone to make the plushie of you for him

• Okay, so he doesn't make the plushie by himself (he doesn't want to break a nail). But he's incredibly involved in the designing process.

• Fusses over everything from the measurements to the exact colour (and I mean exact ) of thread they're gonna use to embroider on your eyes. Makes whoever he's commissioning do multiple samples throughout the process, and if he even finds 1 tiny fault with it he tells them to burn it and start over. His criticism is brutal, but if it isn't going to be perfect then what's the point?

• When a plushie is finally made to his satisfaction, he immediately gets down to the incredibly important task of creating a doll sized replica of your closet. He's incredibly through, there's even a tiny version of that one sock you have that's had a rip through the heel for years.

Beelzebub 🍔

• Poor Beel has no idea what he's doing...not even a little bit.

• He's watched the same crafting video so many times that half of that content creator's revenue is probably generated solely by Beelzebub himself.

• Where is he supposed to insert his crochet hook again? Oops...time to rewatch the video for the 286th time, I guess...

• His massive, beefy hands are just not made to do delicate handicrafts. He's already lost several sewing needles (pray to Simeon that no one steps on them) and his balls of yarn seem to be getting tangled up with each other just from him looking at them?? Oh, and he snapped a crochet hook clean in half just now, because he set it down on the table too hard. He's crying because all these things are happening and he has no idea why.

• Belphie walks in on the catastrophe and is pretty surprised to see his brother sobbing over a ball of yarn. Beel's never really been that into handicrafts. But when Belphie sees that Beel has actually set his snacks to the side just to concentrate on making this plushie of you...Belphie knows it's serious between the two of you.

• Belphie offers to help his twin out and between the 2 of them, they manage to finish the plushie within the next couple of days (instead of the next couple of years...which is how long it would take if Beel was left to his own devices).

• "Look!! I even attached a tag that says 'made by Belphie and Beel'!" :3

• (Please be proud of this wholesome boi.)

Belphegor 🛏

• Isn't that bad at handicrafts.

• He used to do them with Lilith, back before the war. She was amazing with her hands...much better than he was. She made him one of his cow plushies...he's always treasured it, but after she passed it became all the more precious to him. Her namesake now sits on the softest pillow he has in his bed...the cow plushie to lead all cow plushies.

• He's seen the way you've looked at Lilith (the cow plushie)...and knows while you don't hate her or it, it must be difficult to have a constant reminder of someone whose shadow you'll never know if you can step out of.

• So he decides to make a plushie of you. Not to replace Lilith (both the cow plushie and his actual sister), but as a symbol of his affection for you. To remind you that you're just as important to him as Lilith was (and maybe even more so).

• His plushie making process mostly goes off without a hitch; he doesn't encounter any major problems. He still remembers the basics, and unlike Beel he doesn't have the physical strength to snap his tools in half...he's too sleepy (All that potential nap time wasted on plushie making...).

• His finished product takes up a pride of place on his pillow beside Lilith (the cow plushie). Knowing that the 2 of you are watching over him while he sleeps makes him feel truly happy for the first time in years.

[excelsi-or]

just a little sweeter (pt. 11)

Double post today! Enjoy parts 10 & 11 :) 

BIPOC rec: I’ve recently read The Gilded Wolves by Roshani Chokshi. I don’t want to spoil anything. It’s excellent. The writing is detailed and amazing. It’s set in Paris in like the 1800s with magic and fun and a heist. It’s the first of a trilogy and the second one came out this year. I can’t wait to read it.

w.c. 2.1k (fluff, brief angst but it’s over pretty quick)

pt.1; pt.2; pt.3; pt.4; pt.5; pt.6; pt.7; pt.8; pt. 9; pt. 10

“You need to tell her.”

“Tell her what?” Jihoon demands. His eyes are going over the brief of the meeting. He cannot believe that it was brought up in front of everyone, making it everyone’s problem.

“That there’s evidence to out you guys,” Jeonghan says. “She deserves to know. Even though you already made your decision on the matter extremely clear.”

“The company’s buying the photos,” Jihoon points out.

“But there’s a possibility that they’ll make the decision to put the photos out anyway,” Jeonghan reminds him. “Seriously. Just to be a good boyfriend, mention it to her.”

Jihoon frowns, but tries to rearrange his expression into something else when he sees Eunha running down the hallway. She grabs his hand and pulls him back to the studio where she’d been colouring during the meeting. He ends the phone call of the phone on the table and sits down on the floor next to her things. Eunha begins walking him through a bear story, something akin to the Blue’s Clues episode they had watched. He had stumbled upon the show on YouTube and Eunha had taken a liking to it. While most of it is in English and he really only understands 60% of it, Eunha sings along to the songs and seems to know what’s going on.

Enough to give him a similar story anyway with a bear and ant as the lead characters.

The phone in his pocket starts singing the FaceTime ring tone. Eunha’s eyes widen and she climbs into his lap, immediately assuming it will be someone she knows. When he pulls the phone out, he helps Eunha sound out the name.

“Hey,” Jihoon says.

His second favourite smile in the world smiles back at him. “Hey.” She waves at Eunha. “Hi kiddo.”

Eunha holds the phone with both hands so she can put her face as close to the camera as she can. “Hello!”

“What’s up?” Jihoon asks, chuckling at his baby’s antics.

“Jeonghan oppa sent me a text telling me to call you when I had a chance.”

Jihoon restrains himself from rolling his eyes. Jeonghan isn’t usually one to meddle too much; that’s usually Seungkwan. Yet here he is. Meddling. “Yeah…”

“Is something wrong?”

“No.” He pauses. “Well, not really.” He glances at Eunha in the screen. “Can you hold on for one second?”

She glances up at something past the phone, probably an employee. “Sure.”

Jihoon puts the phone down and scoops Eunha up. “You’re going to play with Uncle Soonyoung for a little while, okay? Say goodbye.”

Eunha calls her goodbye and waves.

“Bye kiddo!”

Jihoon starts to walk out the door.

“Can I bring my colours?”

“Of course you can.” Jihoon goes back and picks up her things. “Hold this for me, okay?” He hands her the notebook, so he can hold the crayon box and juice box. Then he takes her to the practice room. Some of the members have a television shooting, which is likely why Jeonghan sent the message to her at all. Jihoon won’t be able to chew him out until later.

Luckily, Minghao and Jun are in the practice room. They’re going over choreography for the upcoming concerts. He doesn’t even bother to ask where Soonyoung is.

Jihoon sets Eunha down at the front of the room and looks between the two men. “Can you just watch her for a couple minutes? I have to take a phone call.”

Minghao smiles. “Yeah, sure, hyung.”

Jun is already squatting down next to her and asking about her art.

Jihoon hurries back to the phone. She’s humming as she types on her computer. He recognizes the tapping of the keys. “Hey.”

The sound slows before she turns back to him. “Give me one more second.”

“Sure.”

Jihoon sits in his chair and then hears the audible whoosh of her email being sent. She leans into the camera, smiling. “Alright, I’m all yours. What’s up?”

“Jeonghanie hyung wanted me to talk to you about the meeting we had this morning.”

Her brow furrows slightly. “That seems kind of random, but okay. I’m listening.”

“It had something to do with you?”

“Me?” Her furrowed brow turns into a frown. “What about me?”

He clears his throat. “Apparently, there was a reporter following me and they happened to get a picture of us on our date last week.” He watches her eyes begin to widen in panic, so he attempts to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible. “But the meeting was about whether I wanted them posted. Sometimes they come through the company before photos get posted like that. Obviously, I said that it wasn’t me and that even if it were, I didn’t want the world to know. Jeonghan hyung just thought that you should know they exist and that it isn’t in my control if they get posted.”

Her expression is the epitome of shock. She stares blankly at the screen, as if she’s still processing all his words.

“Please say something.”

Her eyes close and she begins to speak, her voice coming out strangled. That’s not good. “So, you’re saying that photos that you don’t own of us are floating around in the ether and that you can’t control whether they get posted or not?”

“The company is trying to buy some of the photos off them, but who knows how many they have? Or if there are any that look exactly like me.”

“How much control do we get over them?”

“Well, honestly, not much control. If we get seen together more often and whatnot.”

She takes a deep breath. “So, I can’t go out with my boyfriend anymore, because I have to worry about people with cameras following him around?”

Jihoon’s hand fiddles with his ear. “Maybe.”

“I already have to worry about hiding my face when we have Eunha with us. Now I have to worry about just being with you in public?”

Jihoon can feel his heart sinking. “Yeah.”

“I—” Jihoon hears someone call her name. “I’ll be right there,” she responds. The door closes and she looks back at the screen, completely bewildered. “I… I need to think about this. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay.”

“Bye.” She hangs up before he can say anything. He stares at his lock screen. It’s a photo of her and Eunha drawing in the apartment. She was teaching Eunha how to draw a bear.

He quickly sends off angry messages to Jeonghan before going back to the practice room to pick up Eunha. He peers into the room and can see her contentedly drawing while Jun and Minghao practice. He decides that maybe he can stew in his confusion and anger a little while longer alone in the studio.

“Has she called you back?” Jeonghan asks that night.

The members caught him just as he was about to take Eunha home and they offered dinner at the dorms. She’s busy playing with Seungkwan and Soonyoung in the living room, so Jihoon doesn’t mind sounding pissed off.

“No. She hasn’t. And if you hadn’t told her that there was something I needed to say, she probably wouldn’t be mad right now.”

Jeonghan rolls his eyes. “She deserves to know the consequences of dating you.”

“I think the ‘biggest consequence’ of dating me is sitting in the living room right now.”

A soft voice and a tug on his sweatpants pull his attention away. Jihoon looks down and sees the hurt expression on Eunha’s face, though she doesn’t acknowledge it. “Uncle Seungkwan and Uncle Soonyoung want to know when dinner is ready.”

Jihoon takes a deep breath and squats down in front of her. “It’ll be done soon, okay?”

She spins on her heel and scampers out of the kitchen. Jihoon glares back at Jeonghan.

“You have a tiny daughter! I didn’t see her come in!” Jeonghan exclaims.

Mingyu, the one actually doing all the cooking, glances over his shoulder. “I think you need to apologize and explain to both the girls in your life what’s going on, hyung.”

“Since when did you get so enlightened?” Jihoon grumbles.

When he puts Eunha to bed that evening, he sits cross-legged on the floor next to the bed. “Hi, little one.”

She pouts and stares at him. Her little arms are wrapped tightly around a bunny plushie Chan had gotten her for her birthday.

Jihoon runs a hand through her hair. “Did you hear me when I was talking to Uncle Hannie?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Ah. Okay.”

“But…” Her pout deepens. “It was mean.”

Jihoon holds his breath. “I didn’t mean what I said. Even if you didn’t understand, I shouldn’t have said those things.” He leans forward to kiss her forehead. “I’m sorry.”

Her voice softens. “Do you not like me anymore?”

God, he hates that Soonyoung taught her that phrase. The man says it so much around Jihoon, he should have known his intelligent child would learn how to use it.

“That’s not it.” He doesn’t know how to explain his feelings to her in a way she’ll understand. She’s using her entire vocabulary already by having this conversation. Jihoon rests his chin on the bed. “Life’s just hard.”

“‘Cause of me?”

“No. Not because of you.” He pecks her forehead again, and runs a hand over her head. “Never because of you.”

Eunha asks if it’s because of his girlfriend.

“Not because of her either. It’s all because of daddy. This is my fault.”

“Why?”

“It’s complicated. Is that okay?”

Eunha doesn’t know what complicated means, but she seems to accept his answer, because she snuggles beneath the covers.

He gets to his feet and gives her one more kiss. “I’m sorry again. I love you.”

“Love you,” she mumbles, already falling asleep.

Jihoon leaves the door open a crack. The actual baby monitor is on next to her. He makes sure that he can hear her breathing then he plops himself on the couch and stares at his phone. He debates calling, wondering if she’d call when she’s ready. It’s been at least twelve hours. She should be going to bed soon and they did agree to video chat tonight.

He doesn’t have to wonder too long, because she calls him instead.

Jihoon answers in a second.

“That was fast,” she mutters. “Thought I’d have a few more rings to pull myself together.”

She’s sat in bed. The only light coming from her phone screen.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

There’s a long bout of silence he doesn’t know how to fill.

“How mad are you?” he finally asks.

“Not mad,” she clarifies. She must see the skepticism on his face. “Seriously, Jihoon, I’m not.”

“So why haven’t you talked to me all day?”

She tips her head back with a groan of frustration. “Because it’s hard to process what you told me this morning.” She meets his gaze. “There are so many rules. I don’t…” She shakes her head. “You’re high maintenance.”

He gets the jab. “Am I so high maintenance that this is over?”

“I don’t know.” She sighs. “I only get to see you in person a few times a month, and only once a month with just the two of us. Now we’re limited to staying in, because people are actually stalking you.”

Jihoon doesn’t mention that there was always the risk of people following them. “So, what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. You can’t do anything about it. It’s not your fault you’re in a famous idol group and have a daughter. I knew that you came with those things when we started dating. I just… I didn’t realize how much of my life would have to change because of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” She runs a hand through her hair and flips it. Jihoon loves when she does that, though he’s never told her. “I thought that I could keep it separate. My own life and then whatever our life together is. And I can, but when people in my life ask me about who I’m dating, what I’m up to, I’m so limited as to what I can say. Only my mom and Soobin know that we’re dating and that you even have a child. Everyone else thinks that I have an elusive boyfriend who doesn’t want to meet them.

“I just didn’t realize that when we got together that there would be a huge part of my life that I’d have to hide.”

Listening to her talk about it this way makes him wonder if it’s worth it for her. She sounds so discouraged with him and their situation. But she’s right; he can’t do anything about it. This is his life. But it doesn’t have to be hers.

Before he can even think about how to broach the topic of breaking up, she says, “But I adore you and I adore Eunha. I want this to work.”

Jihoon lifts an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, really. As of right now, I want to work through this with you.”

“Do you… want to come over?”

She glances down at her pajamas. “I’m in bed right now.”

“Come over and cuddle?”

Her eyebrows rise. “Tempting.”

“Come over, cuddle and watch Avengers?”

She laughs. “Give me 10.”

[rayofspades]

How to Write a Horror Story: The Magnus Archives

This post is kinda weird since most tumblr fandom content is based on the assumption that Everyone Has Seen The Thing, but since this is a transcript of a video essay, it’s more broad. 

I might link the video in a reblog since, you know, tumblr doesn’t like links.

Anyways, here’s the post:

Hello Jon, apologies for the decep-

I’ve seen a lot of mystery shows in my day, and some supernatural shows, and the common thread between them is that they kind of...fall apart as they go on. 

Obviously, this is a generalization and I haven’t seen every mystery show or every paranormal show, but it’s a pretty common problem. 

At this point in pop culture criticism, it’s basically common knowledge that these shows fall apart due to a lack of planning. If a mystery series is making shit up as it goes along while trying to surprise the audience, it’s going to stop making sense at some point. And if an episodic paranormal show is constantly trying to up the stakes, eventually it’s going to become absolutely ridiculous and stretch the audience’s suspension of disbelief past a breaking point. 

Other people have already talked about this stuff to death, but today I want to talk about a paranormal mystery show that actually succeeds at what it set out to do.  

The Magnus Archives is a podcast written by Jonny Sims and directed by Alexander J. Newall. It ran from 2016 to 2021 and it’s...really really good. It’s an episodic horror story, taking place at the fictional Magnus Institute where the head archivist reads various statements about people’s encounters with supernatural entities. It’s got it all; scary stories, mystery, an overarching plot, office comedy, office romance, office tragedy, a villain that’s making straight men everywhere question their sexuality, and an overall really solid structure. 

If you listen to the Q+As put out by the writer and director, you’ll hear them talk about how they planned the series from the beginning, setting up the layout for each season. Some things were definitely changed throughout the actual writing process; that’s just inevitable and necessary when you’re working on a long running show, but in a general sense, they knew where they were going. But, writing a good story doesn’t just involve knowing where you’re going; it’s about executing whatever plan you have effectively. And I think the execution of The Magnus Archives is pretty brilliant, so I want to talk about it. 

And for the record, I said “brilliant,” not “perfect.” I do have a lot of criticisms of this show, and I’m definitely going to talk about those too, because honestly? Even the problems with this show are interesting in their own right. 

Ok, let’s go. 

Oh, spoilers by the way. For the whole plot. Whole thing. 

Part 1: Horror and Mystery 

Ok, so The Magnus Archives has two separate plots going on: the episodic stories that can be listened to individually, and the underlying meta plot. The former is where most of the mystery storytelling takes place, and it’s a really engaging mystery. It’s starts off slow, and almost undetectable at first. The main character, Jon, also known as The Archivist, is just reading out old scary stories that people have delivered to the Magnus Institute. Stuff like; a college student sees a ghostly inhuman figure asking for a cigarette, a woman’s fiancé dies and she finds herself trapped in an empty graveyard, there’s this goth kid who apparently murdered his mother and then skinned her? But she’s kind of still alive? What the f*ck? Hope we never see that kid again. Also, this “Jurgen Lietner” guy wrote a bunch of cursed books and Jon knows about this? Are more books gonna come up? And then you’re like, wait is the goth kid who killed that burn victim the same goth kid who killed his mom like 8 episodes ago? Holy shit the family of that girl’s dead fiancé FUNDS THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE? Did this famous youtuber meet one of the missing people from episode one? The goth kid is back and he’s looking for Leitner books? The name “Michael” has come up like 6 times? Are they all the same guy? I just—who the f*ck is Jurgen Leitner? 

So yeah, as you can see, a lot of these stories connect in cool ways, and I’ve only mentioned like, 0.2 percent of all of those connections. Furthermore, these stories are told out of chronological order, and sometimes the same scenario appears in more than one statement, told from different perspectives. This asymmetrical storytelling and odd doling out of information creates a mystery that’s really interesting. It also makes for a great re-listen, since you can retroactively see what elements were set up before you even realized that they were going to come back.  

The audio format contributes to this too; you can’t just see that the table from episode three matches the pattern on the box in episode eight. You have to pick up on clues that were mentioned and pay attention to what people are describing, and it’s highly rewarding when the pieces all start to fit together. 

There is a bit of a downside to this though. Technically The Magnus Archives is a horror story first and a mystery second, and these two elements can mesh in weird ways. 

The horror is element is really strong. Each story is completely different, sometimes focusing on psychological horror, body horror, or supernatural versions of more primal fears like heights, darkness, enclosed spaces, etc. Basically, if you’re afraid of anything, there will be at least one episode of The Magnus Archives that gets under your skin. 

Jonny Sims can really sell his stories through both his writing and acting. He plays Jon, by the way, and plagiarized his own birth certificate for the character name. (For future reference, Jonny is the actor, Jon is the character). Overall, he’s really good at writing prose, and each narrator has a very distinct voice even though the large majority of the stories are being read by one character/actor.  

Obviously not every episode is a bull’s eye. Sometimes it’s due to the subjectivity when it comes to what you as an audience member are scared of, and occasionally it’s just weird writing decisions. I’m thinking specifically of episode 21 where the line “the sky ate him” is said, and it is the worst line in the entire show. The whole goddamn show. That’s it. That’s the number one worst line. 

But still, overall, the horror storytelling is incredibly solid, and some episodes even gave me brand new fears, like the unholy isolation of being in space, or the concept that someone you love could be replaced by someone completely different without you noticing.  

But here’s the thing; 

A lot of good horror is based on the absence of explanation. Most of the episodes that gave me the most visceral reactions of genuine terror come from the first two seasons, because that’s when the audience has the least amount of information. 

For example, in episode two, a really terrifying coffin is introduced. It’s creepy, it reacts very strangely to water for some reason, and appears to compel people to try opening it. By the end of the episode, the audience never finds out what’s in that coffin and that is a good thing. That is a huge part of what made that episode so unnerving.  

And then a few seasons later, we do find out what’s in the coffin, and to be fair the answer is both very creative and very scary, but it also takes a lot of the punch out of episode two. 

 No matter how f*cked up your thing is, it’s not going to compare to whatever the audience can conjure up in their own mind after such a creepy set up. This problem isn’t just stuck in this one scenario either; there are a lot of early episodes that, while still good, seem a lot less creepy in hindsight after you learn more about the scenario. 

I don’t think it’s bad writing, but I do think it’s a double-edged sword. Jonny Sims even mentions this sort of issue in the first Q+A. 

But yeah, to sum up; the narration is good, the ideas are creative, and seeing the mystery unfurl itself is deeply compelling. And for the record, the mystery elements aren’t of the Sherlock Holmes variety. It’s less about finding out who did the thing, and more about discovering how all of these individual points are intricately connected, pulling on each other as they move. Woven together like a... oh shit what’s the word? Gah, it’s on the tip of my tongue. Ah, whatever, I’m sure it’s not like a running motif or anything.  

Part 2: Stakes 

One of the main reasons I stopped watching Supernatural is that it devolves into complete f*cking nonsense. At the end of season five, the boys literally defeat the devil, and then the show...keeps going? Which would be fine. It’s also, largely, an episodic show, so if they have more creative ideas, they could definitely keep going with it. In fact, there are some post season five episodes that I thought were pretty good. But as they kept trying to outdo themselves with Bigger Bads, it got kind of difficult to suspend my disbelief. And the final nail in the coffin for me was the end of season nine, when Crowly basically points out to the audience that the main characters keep dying and coming back to life, so there are no stakes. The most-badest bad guy can always be defeated because some new Thing can just come out of left-field, and dying isn’t even on the table as a threat since people have tons of ways of coming back to life. 

The Magnus Archives, while being a show based in the supernatural, notably doesn’t bring anyone back to life, even though some very beloved characters die. I say “notably,” because in the season three Q+A, Jonny even says, “We make a point not to bring people back from the dead in Magnus, I know it sometimes feels like that, but we are very careful to never actually resurrect anyone.” 

Upon listening to this I said “oh my god, these guys are the only writers left who at least kind of know what they’re doing.”  

Also, as far as plot progression goes, The Magnus Archives is lowkey structurally perfect in the way the threats escalate in the underlying plot; both in terms of destruction and power and in terms of emotional consequences. Season one starts off with one major threat that’s dealt with by the end of the season, season two reveals the main villain, season three lays out the grander forces at play, season four ends the world, and season five is about un-ending the world. The difference between season one and season five is vast, but how we got there makes perfect sense. 

As for the emotional stakes, let’s talk about themes and characters. 

Part 3: Themes and Characters 

At the very end of season two, it’s revealed that the supernatural happenings in the Magnus universe are the result of entities far beyond our understanding. Since their existence is so fundamentally different from what we can comprehend, they interact with the world through cursed items, creatures, and humans who have dedicated themselves to an entity.  

A lot of people read this as a metaphor for late-stage capitalism, and I am one of those people. A bunch of faceless entities exploiting humans through means of dehumanization and causing people to suffer because it feeds them seems like an appropriate metaphor. 

While we’re on this topic, I do want to talk about Elias, since he’s the main villain of the entire series and also one of my favorite villains of all time. The Magnus Archives is a series that deals with a lot of moral questions and has a lot of characters who do morally questionable things, so one might assume that the villain of said series is, you know, morally ambiguous and sympathetic to some extent despite being “the bad guy.” 

Nope! No stops, full bastard. It’s great. 

He falls under what I’ve deemed the “unbeatable boss” archetype. He just doesn’t tolerate insubordination or resistance, and that combined with his lack of empathy means that anyone who crosses him is either killed or brought to heel. His power set is cool too. On the surface the ability to see out of any eye and read minds sounds useful, but not deal breaking, but the way he uses that power to manipulate people and anticipate threats...yeah, it makes him kind of impossible to beat.  

He’s just...so evil and he loves being evil and every single f*cking thing he does pisses me off and makes me want to kill him. It’s. Great. 

Anyways, I think Elias’s role as the central antagonist is what makes the capitalist reading so common. He’s the head of the institute, he’s wealthy, he’s powerful, and he dehumanizes people in ways that are both brutal and chillingly indifferent. He seems like an appropriate stand in through that lens. 

I also love how voice actor Ben Meredith plays him like’s he’s trying to seduce the audience.  

With all of that said, I wouldn’t call this the critique of capitalism a direct allegory or anything; in much looser terms, this could be a metaphor for any power structure that exploits humans. Organized religion or cults might be even more on the nose, considering there’s a lot of mentions of rituals and worship within the show. 

But if we boil it down to its barest aspects and focus on the avatar characters, The Magnus Archives is a series about people becoming monsters. Or, at the very least, becoming worse versions of themselves. That can mean a lot of things to different people in a metaphorical sense; the tense relationship between desperation and morality, the eagerness to please at the cost of one’s own mental health, the psychological traumas that lead people down dark paths, and how personal choices can still be dictated and manipulated by outside influences. It’s kind of heavy stuff, but put into a digestible package through the show’s abstractions. 

Well, for the most part.  

There’s some debate as to whether or not Daisy’s arc was handled tastefully. While her demise and Basira’s character arc were clearly meant to condemn police brutality and the deeply corrupt system that allows it to foster, it’s still a weird subject to discuss in such a fantastical context, and there is a strange sympathy for the devil angle that can get kind of uncomfortable for some listeners.  

Okay, stepping back from that for a bit, let’s talk about Jon and how he fits into this whole “people becoming corrupted” thing. 

Jon has one of my favourite brands of character arc, which is one based in deterioration alongside growth. The most obvious way this takes form is his departure from humanity as his relationship with the Eye drives him to psychologically harm others, and he finds himself sympathizing more and more with the people he was afraid of, stating in episode 152 that anyone listening to his recordings might compare him to the other avatars that have had their minds and morals twisted. 

Over the course of the series, he is repeatedly traumatized and the show makes a point that he is being both physically and emotionally scarred. These happenings are what drive his motivation for revenge in season five, and he even states that revenge is making him a worse person. As a character he’s constantly berating himself and his own monstrousness, much to Martin’s dismay.  

That’s why the finale destroys me in the best way. Upon seeing that Jon has betrayed him and basically given himself over to the Eye, Martin asks “how much of you is even left?” And when Jon tries to reassure him that he’s still himself, Martin’s response is “how would you even know?” This cuts through me every time. Up until this point, Martin had consistently stood up for Jon and Jon’s humanity, even in the face of Tim’s doubt, Basira’s mistrust, Elias being cryptic, and Jon’s own self-hatred. This is the ultimate breaking point, the point where even Martin, the love of Jon’s life, doesn’t really recognize him. It’s brutal. Because at the end of the day, Jon is still himself; he’s a deeply broken person trying to make the right decisions.  

We’ll come back to the finale later, but for now I want to talk about the romance. 

Jon’s emotional growth throughout the series is largely tied into Martin. Martin’s the first person that Jon really opens up to, and this later grows into trust which then turns into a genuine emotional connection.  On the flip side, Martin’s growth in season four is largely tied into Jon. Martin starts season four basically waiting to die, but Jon’s return gives him a reason to keep living, and he’s later able to recognize his own value outside of the pure utility of ‘you need to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.’ Both of them give each other reason to push onward despite everything becoming more and more hopeless.  

It’s a good romance. I wish the two had had a few more scenes together before the culmination, but it is built up over the course of four seasons and comes together in an utterly fantastic confession.  

And yeah, the scene with Martin and Jon in the Lonely is cheesy as hell, but it is the highest quality of cheese. These are some gourmet nachos.  

Umm, also kind of stating the obvious here, but it’s also pretty cool that the main character in this horror story falls in love with another man. You don’t see that a lot, and it’s cool that no one even makes a big deal out of it. It’s just a normal romance, but with two guys. It’s nice. 

So, they go to Scottland, they hang out, they’re in love, Jonalias starts the apocalypse through Jon, the world ends, and season five starts! 

...Let’s talk about season five! 

Part 4: Season 5 

At the very start of this post, I said that supernatural mysteries tend to get worse as they go along, and I am deeply sad to report that I don’t think that The Magnus Archives is an exception. It just goes downhill in a very different way than its ilk. 

And, so we’re clear, I don’t think season five totally tanks or becomes unlistenable, it’s just, in my opinion, notably worse than the rest of the show. 

As discussed earlier, it doesn’t fall apart due to a lack of planning; everything still makes sense, but the presentation has changed drastically. The episodic statements are no longer scary stories, but more like slam poems about the various hellscapes that Jon and Martin are trekking through. Honestly if these were published in a book of slam poetry, I would probably think they slapped pretty hard. I genuinely believe that Jonny Sims is a good writer, but as a podcast a lot of these statements just made me zone out. There’s at least four that I don’t even slightly remember. Myself and many others have noted that they just...aren’t scary, unless there’s a specific episode that really gets under your skin due to a certain fear or phobia. 

To quote my friend, “it’s harder to feel a solid impact when the setting is literally divorced from reality. People would either go numb or insane to the point where their fears become unrelatable.” 

And, to be honest, I think that this same surreal odyssey set up could have worked with a slight shift in narration. Two stand out episodes for me were “Strung Out” and “Wonderland.” Both of them show the tormented target actively trying to resist and interact with their tormenter, instead of just trying to escape or live through their situation. “Strung Out” is also more of character study; you learn about Francis’s life before the apocalypse through their interaction with the Web hellscape. Meanwhile “Wonderland” is just...f*cked, and you get to see Jon take the perspective of first-person Bad Guy throughout the whole thing, which is its own level of disturbing. 

But the majority of episodes feel so abstract that I kind of forget the people trapped in them are supposed to be characters and not just concepts, so it’s harder to feel their dread and pain. 

But I’m still here for the metaplot, the drama, and the romance. And when that’s good, it’s great! I think the final handful of episodes are really solid in that regard. 

Buuuuuuut... 

A decent chunk of season five is dedicated to the “kill bill” plot. Jon discovers he has the power to smite people, and while at first, he’s embarrassed about this, since he actively enjoyed killing Not!Sasha, Martin is super into it! He’s encouraging Jon to murder people.  

This is actually the set up for a really good arc. As Jon gets more and more into his own avenging angel persona, Martin could get more and more disturbed by it so by the time they get to London, Martin could be really upset that Jon is so willing to wreak his own divine justice by killing or torturing all of the avatars. 

And this does kind of happen. We do reach this end state, and it makes for a good final conflict, but the way we got here was borderline nonsense. Thematic gibberish, if you will. 

Throughout the journey, Martin is clearly motived by a sense of justice; these people are bad, and so they should die. Whereas Jon is clearly more motivated by revenge; he only goes after the avatars that hurt him personally. At one point, Jon admits that maybe all of this killing isn’t making anything better, but just making him worse. Martin apologizes for egging him on, Jon absolves him by saying he started it, and then Martin’s like “I’ll keep my apology then.” This is the second worst line in the entire series, right after “the sky ate him.” And it’s close. 

But it kind of feels like we’re back at square one. Jon is back to being ashamed of killing and Martin is still keen on his justice stance, but now just less pushy about it. The arc is basically half resolved at this point. 

But then it doesn’t matter, because Jon kills Helen anyway. So, Jon’s back on his revenge/justice thing. Then what was the point of his earlier revelation? Why have that if it’s not going to matter and the conflict that was escalating still culminates with Jon leaning into the avenging angel stuff, and Martin being disturbed by it? It just makes both of them look like huge hypocrites! I f*cking hate it when they’re in the tunnels and Martin says “you weren’t meant to enjoy it this much,” regarding Jon’s smiting. Where did this come from?! Why didn’t you say this earlier? Third worst line in the series. 

And yeah, I’ll say it; the boys fight too much in this season. I loved their romance up to season five, and their cute moments and more lowkey serious discussions are still good in this season, but God, they fight so much. And I’m not saying couples can’t have fights or tension, that’s just realistic and also stories need conflict to be interesting. Jonny Sims is on the record saying that balancing a healthy romance with the stress of a literal apocalypse was a priority, and I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s well balanced.  I’m just saying that sometimes it feels like they don’t even like each other and it really started to grate on me. 

Maybe it would have been better if the beginning of this season was dedicated to charming romance at first, so we as an audience could better appreciate how strong their love is and how it’s truly being tested. But obviously that was never on the table— 

ALEX NO. 

So, yeah, I have a lot of problems with season. I think it’s the worst one by far, even though there is a lot of it I still enjoy, including the ending. 

As I mentioned before, the moment where Martin confronts Jon in the panopticon absolutely kills me, and Jon’s reaction kills me even harder. Throughout the season, Jon had largely been motivated by revenge, martyrdom, and the subconscious call of the Eye, and all three of those factors led him to his position as the pupil. He’s getting revenge against the powers, sacrificing his humanity to get rid of the Fears, and taking his place as wearer of the watcher’s crown. But all of this gets thrown out the window when he realizes that Martin is going to die. And not only is Martin going to die, Martin is going to die specifically because he loves Jon and refuses to leave Jon alone to die horribly. Martin had always been an underlying motivation for Jon, his “reason” as stated in episode 167, but now love as a motivator has come to the forefront, and Jon can no longer go through with his plan because of it. But at this point in the series, they’re both utterly doomed, and Jon concludes that the only possible chance they have of surviving, however unlikely, would be to sever the pupil of the eye, technically killing Jon, but maybe, just maybe, allowing them to escape with the Fears. Whether that’s meant to be literal or more ethereal is left unclear. Hell, maybe Jon’s just making it up completely and creating his own potential happy ending. It’s a pretty potent ending in emotional terms; Jon has to release the Fears and Martin has to kill Jon, and those are the two things they were dead set on not doing.  

The Web, arguably the real main antagonist, basically won, and their manipulation of Jon worked. The destruction spread, and there is kind of a bleak underlying tone to that. 

But at least this ending has some semblance of hope to it. I’m not saying that releasing the Fears was objectively the correct moral decision; the entire point of the dilemma is that there was no objectively correct moral decision. But, while Jon’s solution does have merit, it was also the most hopeless. I think dramatically, any one of the choices on the table could have worked if the writing was well executed, but thematically this one seemed like the perfect combination of grim and optimistic. Like, all of the evils that plague humanity can’t just be defeated forever and things could get worse, but maybe not. Maybe everything works out... 

So yeah, The Magnus Archives...is a podcast. And it’s a really good podcast. Great, even. I can complain about season five all I want, but regardless of how that worked out, you can tell throughout the entire show that the people working on it were trying to tell a genuinely excellent story. 

It’s good. Go listen to it. Even though I spoiled the entire thing and if you’re still here, you’ve probably already listened to it. Listen to it again. 

[sineala]

Hey! I know you've received asks about long distance relationships before but I hope you don't mind if I ask, too :) The thing is a bit complicated and I need some advice, and your story is just so beautiful I'm like, "please adopt me!!" There's this person on tumblr whom I have a crush on, sort of: we've never actually interacted because I don't have a tumblr account but she posts a lot of things I love and info on herself too, so I feel like I know her. 1/2

2/2 I'm ace and never dated, which is a problem because I don't really know what to do, and I'm also very shy, but... the question is... what can I do? i can't just send her a message and say, "I have a crush on you, but you don't know anything of me. Can we try to date?" But on the other hand I really don't know how to start talking to her... :( sorry, I'm just an awkward human being... and thank you for listening to my problems! But of course feel free to ignore me. Take care ❤️

Okay. Wow. This is a lot, anon. I had to think for a while about how to say this as nicely as I possibly can, but: I don't think you should do what you're asking me how to do. At all. I don't think your feelings are bad or wrong or invalid, and I get why you feel the way you do, but there's really not a good, kind, or fair way to get the outcome that you want. You can try to make friends with her if you legitimately want to be friends with her, but you can't be friends with her for the purpose of dating her.

I have more to say under the Read More.

You might find it helpful to read something about the concept of parasocial relationships. The tl;dr version is that parasocial relationships are relationships that an audience experiences with people like celebrities or performers. You, the audience member, don't actually interact personally with the person you have this parasocial relationship with -- everything you know about them is because you actually know the persona they are adopting for public consumption, rather than the person themselves -- but you feel like you know them anyway.

I'm not saying that parasocial relationships are bad. They can be good! They can be positive! I'm pretty sure we all have them. Heck, media fandom is basically us having massive numbers of parasocial relationships with fictional characters! Parasocial relationships can be great and inspiring! Having a favorite character or a favorite celebrity can make you really happy! Do I have parasocial relationships too? Yeah, sure, you bet. The Goodreads review I have that has garnered the most likes is the one that is approximately 50% me explaining that I have a giant crush on Rachel Maddow. I have never met Rachel Maddow. I obviously do not know the real Rachel Maddow, and I would not want to actually for-real date her even if both of us were single. I can just be happy reading her books and watching her TV show. There's a video game I like to play, Slay The Spire, and I have a favorite Slay The Spire streamer on Twitch, and at this point I have probably watched hundreds of hours of this dude playing video games, and because of that, I know a lot of random facts about this guy's life. Does he seem like he'd be cool to hang out with? Yeah, sure. Have I ever interacted with him in any way other than subscribing to his YouTube channel? Nope! I don't even have a Twitch account! Do I know him as a person? Absolutely not.

I'm saying all this because social media is a place you can have parasocial relationships, and the relationship you have with this Tumblr user is parasocial. (Incidentally, the relationship you have with me is also parasocial; I mention this because I feel like you should know that asking me to adopt you is coming on a little too strong, as an opening interaction. I don't mean to make you feel bad about this, and I'm sorry if I have, but since you're asking about how to interact with people you've never spoken to before, you should probably know that.)

It basically comes down to this: you don't actually know this person, but you feel like you do because you've read her Tumblr. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. That's not a criticism. That's not a value judgment. I mean, technically, you don't know me either. That's just not the kind of relationship that I have with you, or that you have with her. It's parasocial, not reciprocal. And you really need to keep that in mind.

Can you form reciprocal relationships with people you have parasocial relationships with? I mean, yeah, maybe, depending on the person. And the answer to how you do that is basically the answer to the question "how do you make friends with people?" -- and it seems like you might like advice about that, since you said you were shy, You talk to someone about mutual interests that you both enjoy. You hang out. Maybe in RL in Better Times you meet up and go get lunch together. These days on the internet I make most of my internet friends by (1) squeeing back and forth at them about whatever fic they wrote and clogging up their AO3 comments until we take it to email, (2) yelling about fandom on Discord until we mutually discover we are like-minded enough to start yelling at each other in DMs directly, and (3) murdering them in games of Among Us and then lying about it. (Games are a bonding experience.)

You listen well, you share some things about yourself because that's what friends do and if the other person wants to be your friend they will share things back -- or maybe they will share things first, if they decide they want to be friends first. This is how we humans like to bond with each other. I feel like I am not very good at this friend-making thing, so I am not sure I am the best person to ask for tips. But that is basically how it works.

Can you be friends with this person? Maybe. I don't know. You can try. But what I do know is that you absolutely should not try to be friends with her with the intention of dating her. People don't like when they think someone is friends with them because they want something from them, and, generally, people really really don't like when someone is friends with them when the thing they want from them is a romantic relationship. You know how you hear people (usually straight guys) talk about being "friendzoned?" They're upset because they're friends with a woman they want to date and the woman sees them as only a friend. That is the realm your proposed interaction is adjacent to, and that is not a good place to be. Don't be like one of those guys.

I think you should ask yourself if you would be happy being friends with this person if there were zero possibility of romance with her. If you would be happy being just friends. And be honest with yourself. If, after some soul-searching, you decide that, yeah, you would feel 100% satisfied just being her friend if nothing else ever happened (and you have to honestly believe this), then and only then should you try talking to her.

What should you talk about? I don't know; you must have something in common. I have made friends with people because we both enjoyed Avengers volume 3 and classic Star Trek. I made friends with a bunch of people in college because we all liked to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Smallville. I have made friends with people because I told them I liked the book they were reading or the pins on their backpack. I have made friends with people because we both were in the same science-fiction online roleplaying group as teenagers and it turned out twenty years later we were sharing a fandom, we now lived in the same state, and we also liked the same folk music! I made friends with my wife because I wanted to complain to her about a Due South fanfic I was reading and she didn't like it either and then I was translating a text for class that was in Ancient Egyptian and the footnotes were in German and I didn't know German (and still don't) but I knew she did. At that point I had absolutely no clue there would be any romance involved there; I just thought she was really cool and she seemed to think I was cool and then we just kept talking.

So, y'know, maybe, if you just want to be her friend, you can try to do that. You can find out if you actually like her as an actual, real person. But you have to want to just be friends.

But if you think you'd be unhappy if you were just friends with her, you absolutely should not try to be friends with her, because that would be misrepresenting what you want and it would also be very unfair to her.

(Edited to add: I guess the other option is that you could, in fact, just be like, “Hey, I have a crush on you,” which would be both honest and forthright -- but I feel like that has a very, very low chance of working. Hence all the other advice.)

I hope that helps.

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 6 Episode 3: Time to meet Group B! (Commentary & Guesses)

Hello fellow humans! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I recap and talk about this show called The Masked Singer if you wanna stick around for that. So, this time around, we get to meet the other group, Group B, who we might not see again for 2 weeks, since we are going to see group A perform again this upcoming week with a new wildcard, Pepper. Anyways, let’s get started with the recap:

Group B was introduced and they consisted of Dalmatian 🐶, Queen of Hearts 🫀, Mallard 🦆, Cupcake 🧁, and Banana Split 🍌🍦. They performed, and one was eliminated unfortunately, let’s start with that…

So the contestant that was eliminated/revealed first in Group B was:

Dalmatian 🐶

Performance Commentary: ok, so I wasn’t super surprised by this elimination honestly, I expected it since he was the weakest vocally of this group. He sang Beautiful by Snoop Dogg ft Pharrell Williams and I gotta give him props for actually singing when most rappers just decide to only rap and not sing at all on this show. However, he did sound a bit like they put way too much of that auto tune stuff on his voice so it sounded like a robot him singing, which kinda made him the weakest link. However, his rapping was awesome (duh because that’s what he does professionally… and btw not spoiling who he is with that comment because when you hear the performance, you’ll know 100% it’s a rapper)

And he was revealed to be…

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Tyga

Omg I knew it!! Thank you Twitter for helping me out, y’all are the best. I thought at first it might have been Chance the Rapper but then people started saying Tyga and I was like hmmm lemme see the clues, yup makes sense, well great segue (segway) Ana because imma show you some of the clues you might have missed:

Scream Poster= he was in the Scream series

Cat Doll= play on words because his name is Tyga (like Tiger… man these producers are really into puns, it’s kinda clever tho)

Was discovered by a big player= in 2007, he started doing mixtapes and he was discovered by Travie McCoy who offered him a record deal

Now, that we have that out of the way, let’s get into our remaining contestants (big warning: this group has left me all types of confused when it comes to guesses so I apologize if my arguments aren’t perfect with some of these):

1. Cupcake 🧁

Performance: This performance is so confusing to me. Idk if this is a man or woman, sometimes I think woman with deep voice and other times I am like no that’s a man. So I don’t know about this one, it’s a very good performance of Heat Wave by Martha and the Vandellas but I need to hear more because I am confused. I am in between a specific man or a specific woman but I am not sure so unfortunately for this one I don’t have a guess

Sorry y’all no guess for this one :(… hopefully, next time they perform I will have a better idea*

*(I will say the guess I am leaning towards that a few people have said *just in case the cupcake leaves next* is Ruth Pointer from the Pointer Sisters because there were supposed to be multiple cupcakes and not just one, and in the PKG, cupcake said they were used to being in a group)

2. Banana Split 🍌🍦

Performance: They were 1000% my favorite performance of the night even though only Split/Ice Cream sang A Million Dreams from the Greatest Showman. She is amazing, I absolutely love her, she has that iconic Broadway sound that I absolutely adore. Just her singing this makes me so confident on who she is omg I’m stoked!

Having said that, I am so positive, like way too certain none of y’all will convince me otherwise like Todrick level confidence they are…

Katherine McPhee and David Foster

Ok, so you guys are probably like “Ana, how can you be so sure if the damn banana didn’t even sing a note, he just played the piano?!” Well, my friends, you have a point, but I know who she is and honestly I don’t even care if I am wrong ab him (I won’t know for sure until he sings a note) but HER I am absolutely positive….and they are a married couple and the banana has heart eyes so in my head it makes sense with the clues too, but before I go to the clues, I have a funny story on how I know who Ms. Katherine McPhee is… so like I was watching this performance and was like omg her voice Sound so familiar! Where have I heard her before?! This is driving me nuts… And then I saw people on YouTube saying that it’s them and I was like wait Katherine McPhee that name sounds so familiar. Then I looked her up and I found out that I knew who she was because I randomly watched a show on Netflix called Country Comfort (which side note: LeAnn Rimes or the Sun from Season 4 guest starred on that show and LeAnn’s husband stars in it… so connection there?), which to explain the show briefly it’s literally the Nanny but with country music and in Tennessee instead of NY. Anyways, she sang a lot on that show and it clicked, I was like BINGO OMG THAT IS HER IT CANNOT BE ANYONE ELSE (similar to how I felt about Todrick being the bull when I saw that damn sneak peak performance). Anyway ya, that was unnecessarily long, now onto the clues:

She left school to move to the city= she attended Boston Conservatory for 3 semesters and left to move to LA to try out for TV pilots

Thought she got her big break, but it wasn’t it= she got an MTV soap opera plot but it never made it to air

Collaborator who sticks with me through sweet and sour= they have known each other ever since she was on the 5th season of American Idol in 2006 and their collaboration is that he is a music producer and she sings (on American Idol, he would play the piano while she sang… does this sound familiar to you guys yet? Ringing any bells? If not, rewatch the performance Banana Split did)

3. Queen of Hearts 🫀

Performance: She sang Born This Way by Lady Gaga and I already knew she was going to be good, but this was like Black Swan all over again. This beginning song wasn’t the best for her voice, but she had fun and she did the damn thing. Closest Lady Gaga singing impression I’ve seen, but I am positive it ain’t Lady Gaga. Also, she slayed that ending.

Ok, so I am not too sure about this guess but after a bit of research and voice matching, I think it might be…

Jewel (the singer, not an actual jewel)

Again I say, with a bit of research, I feel like she’s the closest guess I can give you guys especially matching the singing voices, but let’s look at the clues:

Grew up in a house that lacked warmth= she grew up in Alaska (born in Utah)

Tin man from Wizard of Oz= she played Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz in Concert: Dreams Come True in 1995

Hilary Swank photo= Swank has a dog named Jewel (when I read this I laughed, wow Masked Singer really?! 😂😂)

4. Mallard 🦆

Performance: This performance was not my cup of tea tbh, it was real deep country which is not my jam at all. The song title says it all: Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy) by Big & Rich. Like it was great no lie, but like I just don’t really enjoy that kinda music so it wasn’t for me.

Again, this one is a shot in the dark guess but I am gonna stick with it and it is the one I am leaning towards voice wise:

Willie Robinson (yes the guy from Duck Dynasty)

Ok, so again hear me out, this might sound stupid (and half of me thinks it is) but it kinda makes sense in a strange way especially looking at the clues:

Surrounded by dollar bills= Duck Dynasty merch raised a ton of bills

Photo of Chris Pratt= they worked together and became friends filming Jurassic World in 2014

Platinum Album= Has a certified platinum album “Duck the Halls: A Robertson Family Christmas” (I can’t believe this one, I was pretty surprised)

Anyways, that’s it! I can’t wait to see Group A next week.. again yeah but with Pepper this time so woohoo another Wildcard. I just hope we can see more of Group B too because it feels like too much of Group A is being seen. Anyways, see y’all next week with the recap for tomorrow’s episode! Bye guys! Remember to do all the social media things! Like, comment, follow me for more, all of that 👋🏼

[goldenhemmings]

The Unforgettable Inning - A Stealing Second Extra | Baseball!Shawn

This is easily the quickest I’ve ever cranked out one of these extras; got the request today, knocked it out today. Don’t know what came over me. I’d recommend watching this before you read, it’ll help you understand the context of why the game referenced in the piece was so important. It was an elimination playoff game, it was being stolen from Toronto by horrible calls, and the fans were so on edge to the point where they were throwing things onto the field in protest. Then, Bautista. His home run released all the tension in every fan in the stadium. It was absolutely electrifying, and resulted in the most iconic bat flip of all time. One of the best moments in Blue Jays history. Anyways, here’s 1.9k words of Y/N trying to make Shawn feel better about baseball season being postponed. Enjoy!!

Baseball season should be a month in by now. 

You and Shawn both knew it, and the two of you were slowly starting to go crazy. It wasn’t that you didn’t understand why the season had to be postponed, because you did. There were more important things right now than sports. But baseball was your entire life, and to say you and Shawn were going stir-crazy stuck inside the apartment with nothing to do all day was a massive understatement. 

While you were upset yourself, you felt worse for Shawn. You, at least, still had a bit of work to do on a daily basis for your position with the team, but without a season, Shawn and the other players had nothing. He was trying to act like he was coping well, but you knew him too closely to believe him when he said he was doing fine. 

He’d thrown himself into training, trying to maintain his baseball-season form so he’d be ready as soon as the league said it was able to resume play. The gym in your apartment complex wasn’t anything like the one he had access to at the stadium, but it was better than nothing, and he was taking advantage of what he had available.

With the extra time you now had on your hands, you wanted to do something for Shawn that would take his mind away from the stress of feeling trapped, which you knew he did. You had a plan in place, but you were waiting for him to leave to put it into action.

As you sat cross-legged on the couch, your computer in your lap, you watched Shawn come out of your bedroom dressed to workout and clutching a water bottle.

You looked up from your laptop, trying to remain nonchalant. “Have a good workout,” you said, and he leaned over to quickly kiss your forehead. 

“Thanks, honey. I’ll be back in time for dinner.”

As soon as you heard the front door swing shut behind him, you closed your laptop and tossed it to the side. You knew his workout wouldn’t be more than an hour, so you had to move quickly. 

The first thing you did was call in a pizza, one half with everything but the kitchen sink on it for Shawn, because you knew he’d want the calories after a workout, and the other side plain cheese for you. 

You then moved into your room and dragged the comforter off of your bed, doubling back to grab as many pillows and extra blankets as you could hold in your arms. You tossed it all down on the couch before pushing the coffee table sideways and out of the way to the side of the room. 

You laid the blankets and comforter out on the floor in front of the couch until it made a comfortable enough cushion, arranging the pillows into a pile to rest against the bottom of the couch until you were satisfied with the way it looked.

When the pizza came you set the box on the coffee table, stacking two plates on top of it in preparation, then leaned over to plug in the fairy lights you’d finally convinced Shawn to let you put up in that corner of the apartment and dimmed the rest of the lights.

Once everything was set up to your satisfaction, you grabbed the remote to the TV and tapped it against your chin as you tried to decide what to watch, but you quickly got an idea that was better than any movie could’ve been. You switched over to YouTube, knowing exactly what to type in.

2015 ALDS Game 5 - Rangers vs. Blue Jays. You just about cried with happiness when you found the full game on YouTube. It was perfect. 

It wasn’t long after you had everything ready that you heard Shawn’s key jiggling the lock on the door. Your head snapped up from where it was bowed over your computer in the same position you’d been in when he left, and as soon as he came through the door you could make out a furrow in his brow through the now-dimmed lighting of the apartment. 

“What’s all this?” he asked, a smile grabbing at his lips even though he was clearly confused. He set his keys down on the table in the foyer, making his way over to you.

“Well,” you started, unable to keep yourself from grinning back at him, “I know you’ve been going crazy without baseball, and I have been, too, so I thought we could hang out and watch an old game or something.”

“Which one?”

“Hm,” you sighed, trying to think of a clue that wouldn’t give it away too easily. “It’s a good one, but I’m gonna make you guess it.”

He laughed. “Try me.”

“One of the most iconic Blue Jays games in this decade.”

“So it’s not from either of the World Series’ then,” he mused, “because that was the 90s.” You nodded, prompting him to continue. 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Can I get one more hint?”

You made a show of rolling your eyes. “Fine,” you sighed out playfully. “I really expected more from you, though.”

“Shut up,” he laughed. 

“Okay. The unforgettable inning.”

“2015?” he guessed immediately, and you smiled. 

“Warmer.”

“ALDS game 5. Too easy.”

“Good job,” you teased. “I found the whole game online. I thought it’d be fun for us to watch it. I got pizza, too.”

He stared back at you with a small smile, and his silence elicited a nervous laugh from you. “What? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

“This is just really thoughtful of you,” he said, leaning in to kiss you.

But you pressed a finger to his chest to keep him at a distance, to which he frowned. “What?”

“Shower first,” you teased. “You look like you just crawled out of a swamp.”

“You’re really lucky that you just did all this nice stuff for me, because otherwise I’d chase you around until you were covered in sweat like this, too, just for that comment.”

“Well that would be pointless anyways, because girls don’t sweat.”

“I hate you,” he laughed, but he allowed you to shove him off in the direction of the bathroom. 

“Make it quick,” you called after him. “I’m bored already!”

After about 15 minutes he came back out, his hair damp and a pair of black athletic shorts hanging low on his hips. 

“Do you want to get me a glass of wine before you sit down?” you asked, batting your eyes at him.

“No,” he said, but he went into the kitchen to get it anyway. 

“I love you,” you called out jokingly, and you could visualize the way his eyes were rolling.

“I love me, too,” he said back. You just laughed. Such a shithead.

He came back over and handed you your wine glass, stepping over you to grab the box of pizza, the plates disregarded. 

“Plates!” you whined, but Shawn didn’t care.

“Just don’t make a mess,” he answered matter-of-factly. “I don’t want to do dishes.”

“You mean you don’t want to sit on your ass while I do dishes?” you jabbed, but he wasn’t bothered because he knew it was an exaggeration. 

“Yeah, exactly,” he answered sarcastically. “Get a piece so we can start the game.”

As soon as the 6th inning had ended, you felt a chill go down your back in anticipation of the excitement that was about to come.

“What?” Shawn asked, his chest shaking with a slight laugh. You were halfway lying on him, so he’d surely felt you shake. 

You giggled. “I got the shivers. The 7th inning gives me goosebumps.”

“It hasn’t even started yet,” he teased, jabbing a finger into your side to make you jump.

“But I know what happens!” you laughed. You grabbed his forearm so he couldn’t poke at you anymore, which ended in a power struggle to see who could grab hold of whose wrists longer.

“If you make me miss a single pitch of this inning I will make you sleep on the couch tonight,” you threatened, but it didn’t sound very menacing when you were forcing the sentence out through giggles.

He sighed. “Fine.”

You sat up and scooted out of his reach as soon as he took his hands off of you, and you could instantly feel his eyes burning a hole in the side of your head. “What the hell was that?”

“I don’t trust you!” you laughed. “I wanna actually watch this.”

“Truce,” he replied, holding his arms up in surrender. “I promise. Just come back.”

“So needy,” you teased, but you crawled back over to lie down on him again anyways.

When Bautista came up to bat after Toronto had tied it 3-3, you sat up and leaned slightly forward; you could not lie down and relax when you knew what was going to happen, especially considering the fact that you were already pretty fired up from the inning’s happenings thus far. 

“Here it comes,” Shawn said.

“No, it’s the pitch after this one,” you replied, negating him without tearing your focus away from the screen.

“I thought it was on the 0-1 pitch?”

“Nope. It’s the 1-1. Just watch.”

“But I--” Shawn started, but was cut off when the second pitch of the at-bat came in as a ball. 

“Told you,” you bragged triumphantly. “It’s this pitch.”

Shawn sat up with you, both of you waiting intently. As soon as Bautista sent the ball flying into left field and flipped his bat, you yelled like it was your first time seeing the hit. The cameras were shaking from how loud it was in the Rogers Centre, all the tension the fans had been feeling released with one crack of the bat. Your cheering turned into a jittery, excited laughter you couldn’t control as Bautista rounded third, and Shawn quickly joined in.

“‘You can only play with fire for so long, and it’s gonna burn ya,’” you giggled, quoting the announcer. You’d seen the play so many times you had the commentary memorized by now. “I fucking love baseball.”

“Maybe I should flip my bat like that the next time I hit a home run.”

“You couldn’t pull it off,” you retorted. 

Shawn sighed. “Yeah, I know. Bautista is way cooler than me.”

You laughed, crawling back on top of him. “Plus it was the playoffs, which makes it even better. Easily the most iconic bat flip of all time.”

“Easily,” he echoed, beginning to calm down from the hype of the hit. “I miss it so much.”

You sighed, grabbing his hand and squeezing it lightly. “I know. But this is the best we can do right now.”

“Thank you for doing this, honey,” he said softly. “You’re the best.”

“I know,” you sassed. He swatted at you playfully. “There are plenty of classic games on the MLB YouTube channel so we can watch more whenever you want. You know I’m down for that.”

“I know you are,” he replied. “Because my girlfriend loves baseball more than the average baseball player.”

You laughed. “That’s not true, but I’ll take it.”

“Mmm, I think it’s pretty true.”

“Whatever you say, rookie,” you breathed out, burying your head in the crook of his neck. He instinctively wrapped an arm around your shoulder. “Now let me finish watching this game.”

Thank you for reading!! Feedback makes me very happy.

Stealing Second Taglist: (sorry if it wouldn’t let me tag you, and if you want to be removed from the taglist for these extras just let me know!!)

@ashwarren32​ @d-arkestangel​ @idkseavey​ @yellowitsmendes​ @north1692​ @calistheloml @perfectlywrongfm​ @gentleshawn​ @mariemmendes​ @shawnsmercy​ @wildest-dream-​ @shortieshake​ @shadowsndaisies​ @yourwonderbelle​ @madon566​ @ruinmeshawn​ @itrocksmysocks​ @just-another-fan-girl-for-you​ @ilovejackavery @v-nv21​ @twoisalwaysbetterthan1 @cozyshawn​ @lou-la-lou​ @greteeweetee​ @shawnyimagines​ @helpmemendes​ @overactiveimaginati0n​ @princessflutterwolf​ @justjustyncase @cali--marie @falling-stars-never-cry​ @ashftshawn @captaincorbyn @colorful-dodie​ @andreburakovskyyyyyyy​ @giveme-gaskarth​ @ayetami​ @x-seventeen-x​ @onlynarry​ @to-the-road​ @hollandechart @princessmendes13 @rare-breed-of-human​ @iamamuggleborn @prettymuchboodup​ @supernatural-lover-teamfreewill @jc-paramore​ @etherealchar​ @ykicantbefoundwithyou​ @choripxn @noodleboyluke​ @petit-funsize @heavenly—-holland @the-claire-bitch-project​ @calumasfuckkkk @sleepybesson​ @shawnshufflepuff @zankivich​ @justanothergirl-80 @qxeen-of-hearts​ @begging-mnds​ @shawnsvlogsquad​ @thewackywriter​ @jbird-92 @marvelfanatic02 @sociallyakwardb​ @gentlethunderstorm​ @bucky-ish​ @shawnssnack

Permanent Taglist:

@nedthegay​ @wronglanemendes​ @the-fandom-ness​ @mendesficsxbombay​

[nightwingshero]

12-23 all your Far Cry OCs ! 🥰

Thank you, love!!! This may have gotten a bit long...I have a lot of OCs for Far Cry, don’t @ me. 

12. What OCs would have a chugging competition?

That’s an excellent question, and I think a better one would be who wouldn’t. Rowan, Grayson, Wren, Jane, and Randy are definitely the top contenders for that. Ivy would be a bit taken aback by it, and then politely decline. Whitney and Quinn...Whit would silently judge while also wishing that was her. Quinn is...he’s on the fence, I think that depends. Because he likes rooting for it, watching it, and laughing at them making fools of themselves, but if challenged, he won’t hesitate, and I think Mel would be in the same boat, but she’s less likely to rise to the challenge...she’s too uh...laid back to really feel competitive. Now, as for the kids go, it would be between Emmett, Freya, and Harper. It would start as a back and forth between Emmett and Freya, which would just pull Harper in with it as Braxton and Ana watch warily and Emmie is laughing her ass off. 

13. What OCs would arm wrestle? Who would win?

Randy, Wren, Rowan, Jane, and Quinn. Hands down (see what I did there?). Jane would only do it if provoked, in any other situation, she’s rolling her eyes in the corner and calling them idiots. Randy would obviously win, though it’s a good go with Quinn...and Quinn would honestly let Wren win. He’s trying to impress her, you know? Rowan won’t get off that easily, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Girl can hold her own. If it’s the kids, Emmett and Freya, all day long. Freya is just like her mother, and she’s so damn quick to rise to a challenge, and Emmett is a cocky little shit. 

14. Who would jump off the roof into a pool and who would video it?

Okay...this is probably something that’s going down at Whit’s house. And I’m telling you right now, Randy and Grayson are the first to go, quickly (and I mean quickly) followed by Jane, because she’s not going to be showed up by them at all (Grayson said something rile her up). Whitney is freaking the hell out, insisting someone is going to get hurt. Wren is videoing it because there’s no way in hell it’s not going on YouTube. Ro and Mel are actually scoring it. Ivy is trying really hard to ignore it, she got one day off and might have to play doctor anyway. It was Quinn’s idea...he just made it seem like Grayson’s and he’s enjoying the result of it while drinking an ice cold beer (he prefers vodka, but Whit didn’t have that...so she claims). 

15.What OC nicknames everyone?

They all do, honestly. My Scooby Gang are a bunch of just...sarcastic assholes and sweethearts. Grayson and Ivy might be the only ones that don’t. Jane is called Viking Princess most of the time by Wren, and Randy is Lumberjack Steve. Quinn is Blondie from time to time, Wren will call him Hot Shot, too. Randy will call him “Cap” in reference to Captain America (Quinn’s favorite superhero) and with him being a Security Captain. Rowan is playfully dubbed Huntress or Bambi, depending on who you’re talking to. But Jane calls her Robin Hood or just asshole. Grayson is just...Gray. No one really has a nickname for him, except for Quinn, who calls him Speedy from his background (which Randy then tells them the story of Wren nearly driving them off a cliff). Whitney is either Mom (sarcastically, of course), Miss America, Goody Two Shoes, or just Whit. And Whitney just...calls everyone hun, darlin’, sweetheart, sweetie, dear, etc. If she’s feeling extra fiesty, she’ll give an actual sarcastic nickname (she calls Cooper cowboy and lone ranger though). 

16. Who makes the plan, who follows the plan and who knows the plan is going to fail?

Making the plan consists of: Rowan, Quinn, and Randy. Ivy, Whit, and Wren are gonna follow it, and...well, Jane and Gray are gonna say “this is a stupid idea”. I honestly picuture it being that scene from Infinity War. Tony would be Rowan and Randy. Peter Quill would be Quinn. Draxx would be Grayson and Jane, Mantis is Whit and Mel. Wren is Peter Parker, and Ivy is Dr. Strange. Ivy was looking forward in time, watching every scenario in which she dies surrounded by idiots. I mean...this scene is literally just them in New Dawn. 

17. Who brings a surplus amount of silly string to a party?

Wren and Mel. Mostly because it’s probably a prank to ruin Whit’s perfect hair. It takes her forever to get it out due to the hairspray, but it was worth it. Jane recorded it so she can relive the screams. 

18. Who goes crazy over glow sticks?

Wren, Mel, and Randy! They love them. When they get wasted or high, they do this (its at 3:20, but seriously...watch it...because there isn’t a Brendon Urie vine that doesn’t embody one of my OCs...plus, he’s hilarious). But I could see them doing some sort of glow stick party. 

19. What is your OCs favourite game to play together?

Monopoly (Jane and Quinn are scary good at it), Just Dance, Cards Against Humanity, and Heads Up. Most of them end up in hilarious fights and yelling/laughing together...because they drink when they play. 

20. What OC has no directional compass yet still leads the group?

W H I T N E Y. Listen, I could literally hear the whole fucking group just collectively groan. She will swear she knows where she’s going and pretty much takes charge, even though she has no clue. But they follow anyway...so who’s really at fault here?

21. Who would pose beside a garbage can to take a picture to caption it ‘me’ later?

Wren, Grayson, and Randy. They would laugh while doing it, but Whitney would text back or show up at their house like “Sweetie, are you okay?” with cookies or some shit. Rowan is sure of herself and Mel is at peace with who she is. Quinn, Whit, Ivy, and Jane love themselves too much for that. 

22. What poses do the squad like to do when taking a group photo?

Oh. My. GODDDDD. Listen, they’re always doing stupid shit, even if Whit is demanding something serious. Whit will smile with Ivy while the others are doing bunny ears, carrying each other, climbing on each other, or doing other stupid shit. Lots of kisses on the cheek, piggy back rides, “sexy” poses, and just...they never take it seriously. Whit has one (1) good photo. 

23. What concert would your OCs all go to together and why that concert?

Arctic Monkeys, Queen, Lorde, or Taylor Swift, but it’ll most likely be Queen or Taylor Swift. Grayson has a huge crush on Adam Lambert, and who doesn’t love the music? And Randy knows all the words to Shake It Off and You Need to Calm Down is the group’s like....unspoken song...so...yeah, they’re going.