#anyways I did enjoy myself watching the season but that’s something that kept taking me out of the moment

[booksandpaperss]

me when i was watching the heartstopper “makeout” scenes: yeah that is definitely not how teenagers make out w each other lol

[terras-domain]

(Thanks)Giving Season

Characters: Kang Seul-gi (Seulgi), Male Husband (Reader), Husband's Brother

Tags: Cheating, Cuckold, Kitchen Sex, Blowjob, Watching, Caught, Condom, Rough Sex, Forced Submission, Thanksgiving, Cum in Pussy, Abs, Cum Eating

Words: 2941

Author's Note: Hi Hiiiii terra here!!! Been a while since I posted, sorry for that. Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving. Personally I don't celebrate it but I hope to those who did, you guys enjoy it <33 As the tags show it's gonna be a cuckold smut so if it's not your thing, oh well. Enjoy <33

Reader's POV

Thanksgiving. Not the best holiday to be honest, never understood the hype behind it but at least now I have a day off from work to spend some time with my wife, Seulgi. Work has been brutal for me so our time together is precious to me. Opening the front door with a smile to greet her that I'm home, only for me that smile to slowly fade away. "Oh hi, honey!" Seulgi smiled, waving at me as I see her talking to a guest. "Oh hey lil' bro, long time no see hm?" My brother, a person who I haven't seen in years actually. I actually don't bond well with my family in general, which is why my personal time is mostly dedicated to my wife Seulgi. "Hey...what're you doing here?" I asked, an eyebrow lifted as I start to make myself at ease, putting my stuff down and joining my wife and my brother around the living room.

"Awww don't be too cold, lil' bro. Just wanted to see my family for Thanksgiving you know." He gave a big grin, a face that makes me feel so annoyed for some reason, always been all my life. "Now now boys. Let's not be like that, okay? We need to get things done for Thanksgiving" My breath got stuck through my throat. She's right, it's not like I have much time to spend with Seulgi, and I'm not gonna waste the time I get now by arguing with this dumbass. She had planned to cook something special for tonight, so she brought us both to the kitchen, showing the turkey she planned on roasting, only to find it rotten. "Oh fuck! Nooo that fucking butcher lied to me." Now with no turkey, we can't have the so called Thanksgiving spirit. My big brother can't drive, which means there's only one thing I can do now. "I'll go buy you a new one hun. Don't worry about it" Seulgi's eyes sparkled and hugged me tight, euphoric as now her problem has a solution. "Awww thank you sweetheart. I love you." A kiss on the lips I received from my loving wife, followed by her warm smile that just melts my heart. I got myself ready, grabbing my keys and look back to my wife and wave. "I love you Seulgi. And take care of my wife okay?" I looked to my big brother, I don't really like him but I'm sure family still care for each other. "Oh no worries lil bro. Your wife's safe with me."

Seulgi's POV

I'm glad my husband is around to help me with the turkey. It was silly of me to not realize it was rotting. Oh well, I just have to start prepping food for now. My husband is a big fan of Italian food so I thought making him some fettuccine alfredo might make him happy. Dropping the pasta to boil them while I prepare the sauce was pretty much light work for me, I'm used to working alone in the kitchen since my husband isn't often in the house anyways. I checked around and notice my brother-in-law looking deep into my eyes, sometimes shifting to my cooking elsewhere. "Smells good Seulgi. My brother must be happy to have you." His low voice echoes the kitchen. I didn't know how to respond to that but only smile awkwardly, what a weird thing to say I thought. "Oh come on beautiful. Don't be shy. Live a little we're family right? Nothing wrong with a little compliment, especially if it's for a pretty woman like you~" he kept on going with his praises and weird antics, which start to make me get goosebumps. His footsteps felt heavy but firm, slowly inching closer to me as he started to lean towards me, looking at the pot of fettuccini I'm preparing followed by a sniff, trying to smell the food, or so I thought. His face was closer to my hair than it was to my cooking which made me feel a little uncomfortable and insecure as the thoughts in my head start to turn into a reality. He's groping me!

With his hands reaching under my apron and gripping my chest through shielded by the cloth of my clothes, it was hard to push him away since he's so big and muscular. "W-wait. Please don't do this, your brother won't like this." I mumbled, squirming a bit as I'm overpowered, my whole body held tight as my brother-in-law completely gropes me for his pleasure. "Oh no worries beautiful. Your husband ain't doing shit on me. Now let me see how good you feel." His wide grin send shivers down my spine, but when he started to pull my face for a kiss, I felt unreal. My whole life I've only had intimate relationships with my husband so this felt so bad, but not like my brother-in-law cares about it.

"Mmmh Seulgi. You're quite the curvy babe aren't you?" He chuckled, now biting my lips as he has full control over me. I can't escape and just let him use me, hoping my husband can come just in time to save me from this creep. His hard bulge is pressing on my ass cheeks and it's disgusting, having another man than my own husband using me for pleasure. After a few minutes of making out, he pulled out and gave a big grin. "Well time for the real thing bitch. Get down there." My in law now guides me to be on my knees, facing his stifling bulge before he pulled his pants off, showing his erection pointing straight at me. It's huge. Bigger than anything I've ever seen, it made me nervous since I know what's next.

"Well what're you waiting for hoe? Get to it." His thick length started slapping on my face, making me whimper in inferiority. My husband did tell me how much of an asshole he is, and how violent he can be, so I have no other choice. My mouth slowly opened up as I slowly accepted his cock, taking it in inch by inch. It felt so wrong, the way is thick meat makes me choke just by putting the tip in, the way his hands rub on my cheeks and how I'm actually cheating on my husband right now. "Good girl Seulgi. Just need a little bit of...enthusiasm." As he kept his dominant persona going, his wishes are all coming to a reality as he uses me as he please. His hands are on the back of my head, plunging his cock inside as he thrust his hips back and forth. It hurts. My husband isn't as big nor as rough as his brother so this is all new to me. "ghhhh GAAAAK-!" My mouth just kept on making weird noises and choking sounds as he continues his barrages of mouth fucking on my throat, drilling my mouth and using me as a sex object.

Reader's POV

Phew! That took a while. turkey secured, and it's fresh from the oven. Too bad traffic isn't really on my side today, man why does life hate me so much. But all that complaining will soon end as I reached home, excited to see my wife. Creaking the door open I was greeted by nothing by a strange noise, a woman who sounded like she was choking over something. I went to explore my own home, looking for the source of the odd sound as I reached the kitchen. Just like the turkey, my heart fell. Seeing my wife sucking on my brother's cock, bobbing her head back and forth just made me feel sick. "Oh, you're finally here lil bro. Gimme a sec!" He grunted as he pulled out, stroking his 8-inch length while looking down at Seulgi. "Open your mouth, beauty, I wanna cum on that face." He ordered, which my wife seems to obey despite taking a few seconds to follow. I can hear a few sobs coming from her. is it shame, is it resent, or is it just the aftereffect from a rough face fucking she just went through. Regardless, it seems my brother enjoyed my wife a lot when he unloaded his load all on her face, splattering everywhere from her forehead to her chin.

Seulgi's face turned away, looking very shy and scared. "Honey..." I tried to approach her, wanting to know what's going on when my she stopped me in my tracks. "I'm sorry baby. He...he made me do this." She sobbed, looking down to the floor as cum dripped down her face. I had a dead stare to my brother, my face inclining so our eyes exchange eye contact. In those few seconds, memories of how much my brother overpower me in any way came back. How he's physically, mentally and even academically superior to me, which makes him so much better than me. I want to confront, I want him to pay. But with what has happened my whole life, it may be best to just give in, I don't have a choice. I could only walk towards Seulgi, holding her tight and give her a gentle soft kiss. "I love you, Seulgi." the kiss ended, interrupted by the after taste of my brother's semen on my lips. After that I just wiped my wife's face with a clean cloth before walking away cowardly. I need to take my mind off of this, and staying in the kitchen won't help me. I took one last look at my brother, sighing. "She's yours." A defeated frown sticked to my face face as the words flew out of my mouth, and my feet drags across the room.

My words seem to influence my brother for some reason. As soon as I sat on the couch, I couldn't distract myself no matter what is on the TV. My mind still wanders in the kitchen where my brother shreds my wife's clothes off, completely taking advantage of the situation where both me and Seulgi are mentally lost. I could hear banging noises coming from the sink, making my lewd mind imagine how Seulgi looked getting fucked by another man, it made me hard. My penis pitching a tent from my imaginations running wild from the voices that both Seulgi and my brother make aroused me and made me touch myself while fully clothed. A pathetic loser touching himself through his pants while his wife gets fucked rough that is me. Soon I can see the pair walking out of the kitchen both half naked. Seulgi seems to have less resistance towards my brother and just embraces him now. "I'm sorry honey." i stared at the floor, ashamed of my incompetence. Seulgi didn't reply with a single word, instead her facial expression is more than enough to show the disgust she had towards me for giving in too easily.

Seems like they weren't done. No, seems like they were just getting started. My brother sat next to me on the couch, butt-naked while Seulgi climbed up on him, riding his bigger cock as her tight pussy gapes open for her. "Nghhhh ahhh~! Yeah daddy, fuck me, fuck my tight little pussy!" Seulgi's moans and words were like a knife to me, humiliating me as I just looked at my unintended tent, with nobody but myself to please it. I could only resist so much. The bounces Seulgi made, the sheer size of my brother destroying my wife's vagina, the way I was completely ignored. It was degrading me, but at the same time turning me on more, I eventually gave in to my urges and started jacking off, stroking at the site of live porn acted by my wife and my brother. And they both seem to ignore me, it's as if I'm not even there and they just fucked like they've been doing it together for years. "Nghhh fuck Seulgi you little bitch! You love this cock huh? You love it more than you love your husband's? My cock is better than my brother's isn't it?" The questions he asked showed how they both can see me, I'm not invisible, at least not literally. "Nghhh~ yes daddy. Daddy's cock is just too good. My husband feels like a shrimp compared to yours daddy." That single line from my own wife broke me, made me lose myself as I screamed while rubbing my shaft so fast and uncontrollably. It made me cum, splashing drops of dilute cum on my pants. It made me huff and puff for some reason. I've had sex quite some time with Seulgi, but none of them drained me as much as this. I felt like I could pass out, so I retreated and moved to my bedroom to find clarity.

When I thought being alone in the bedroom was enough, it wasn't. My brother crashed in with Seulgi, holding her in his arms carrying like newly weds. They were making out which made me slightly irritated. Again they ignored my existence and just jump on the bed, forcing me to lay on just a small fraction of the mattress. Their make out session broke up and Seulgi now traced back to my brother's long hard shaft. I could've sworn he came a few times already and yet he's still rock solid and raring for more. Seulgi's pretty mouth enveloped his cock, slowly lowering her head before moving back up, and a slow cycle continues as she sucked my brother's cock. What's worse is how I can see our wedding rind on Seulgi's hand, shining to me while her fingers wrap around my brother's shaft. My wife's head game kept on as she went faster after a while, only for my brother to stop her and lift her face up. They made out, making me feel uncomfortable yet so turned on before changed positions, Seulgi's pussy directly above my face.

"I'll fill you up, bitch-" My brother grunted as a tight smack echoes the room, leaving a red handprint on Seulgi's ass. It made Seulgi scream out a submissive moan too and a drop of cum dripped down her pussy and onto my face. It seems like they didn't want to waste any time and went straight to business, with their two bodies connecting, my brother's cock penetrating my wife's pussy and I got the best, or worst view to see it happening. "Ngaaah~! Aaaaah aahhh yessss~!" Seulgi's moans became vocal, the opposite of her behaviour a while back. She's just lost in lust, just like me it seems. "Harder daddy pleaseeee~" She plead, her head twisting back to face my brother acting like it's only them in the room and I'm nowhere in the scene. "Fuucckkk shut the fuck up slut. I didn't tell you can order me around." With a rough yank on her her, Seulgi's moans became only louder. With precum from both of their private parts leaking on me, I couldn't have felt more humiliated, but somehow I'm happy. It made me feel content to listen to my wife's sweet and loud moans, even if it's not from me.

"Mmmh~ Daddy's cock is getting bigger in me oh god!" Her pussy bulges as she finished her sentence. He's about to cum, isn't he, I thought. "Nghhh yeaahhh...fuck I'm gonna fucking fill you up Seulgi!" He grunted, digging his nails into her hips as my brother starts to buckle his hips harder until eventually he came, bursting inside my wife. There's so much cum inside it was up to a point where the cum from the pair drips down on me, covering my face with cum. It was embarassing, having them cum on me in my bed in this manner and cuck me. After all that, Seulgi finally looked at me. "Do you want to cum baby?" Her words are still as sweet as ever, but her expressions sure seemed cold, of course I'd say yes. I was so eager to put my cock in her until she stopped me, handing me over an S size condom.

Of course, it was a bit too tight for me but I don't feel much physical pain. I ended up finally getting to fuck my wife, despite only by wearing a small condom. My thrusts were clear to be ineffective, as Seulgi's fake moans just makes me so humiliated and degraded. "Fuuuck hunny! It feels so good!" I screamed, getting closer to my climax despite only being a few thrusts in. "Mhm, okay sure. Cum then baby" Her replies seem to be short and uninteresting. It just fuels up my self-degradation which made me cum so much sperm in the condom, filling it up. "Aaaaah, nghhhh~" My whimpers were so weak, it sounded like I could faint any moment. But my wife wouldn't let me yet, not after being a coward and not standing up for his wife. She pulled off the condom from my cock and spilt it on her stomach, making her abs more defined. "Eat it" She ordered, and I had no choice but to oblige. Licking and cleaning my wife's fit body, cleaning her abs from my worthless cum felt both horrible and amazing at the same time, most probably because of how fucked my mind is at this point. I felt defeated and lay on my back beside Seulgi, before hearing her whisper. "I love you honey~" followed by a sweet giggle before my brother joins back in bed with her. Sure she still says she loves me, but for some reason I believe she loves his cock more.

[gloriousburden]

Hey!! I just wanna say your takes on Loki are super refreshing to read, and they cleared up my mind a little! Maybe this sounds a little stupid but I got so confused after rewatching everything (+ watching the series and I feel like that was the breaking point xd) and since I didn't read anything nor any opinions I was. Just lost in these jambled thoughts because I couldn't figure out Loki's character well since he just feels so... so different after Avengers/TDW and I really couldn't tell wtf was going on with him for a while until I sat down and deconstructed everything since it was so bad?? Maybe it's just me and I'm slow but I seriously never had that experience with a character I fixated before and I can't tell if it was because how badly Loki was handled by his writers or it's just me being scatterbrained or both 😭

Anyway thanks again this isn't anything new just wanted to let you know,, your/others takes in your posts are the ones that resonate the most with me and I feel less alone lol when I read some of them on other platforms it's either too much shipping or just... things that don't really make sense to me xd

So yeah, there's no take here, but thanks if you read!! You don't have to answer 🫰

Hello! I am so glad to hear that I could help. I know that feeling all too well, and it’s exactly why I started posting on here. Watching each weekly episode of the series as it was coming out was torture. It was like a punch to the gut every single time that they belittled Loki, mischaracterized him, hinted to the romance with Sylvie, had him consistently forgive the characters who treated him like shit, and took it all in a direction that… had absolutely nothing to do with Loki.

I fell in love with Loki’s character around 5 months before the series came out, and everyday I mourn what the fandom used to be despite the short amount of time I experienced it the way it was. Of course there was mischaracterization, but never was it as widespread as this.

In all honesty, the series turned me off from liking Loki for a hot minute. It disgusted, angered, and saddened me so much. I lost the ability to enjoy watching or interacting with anything related to Loki because I was reminded of it all each time. I remember watching the finale feeling complete fucking shock and a sense of dread. On top of all that bullshit… there’s going to be a season 2?! 🤦🏻‍♀️

I took comfort in the shared reaction and negativity Loki TikTok (at the time) had to it lol. What annoyed the shit out of me also was people beginning to ship Lokius/Sylki. You saw what both of those characters did to him, why ship them? the shipping bullshit is the worst. What happened to people liking Loki for JUST BEING LOKI?

I had that same confusion. How could this be Loki at all, but especially Loki after the events of THE AVENGERS?! This couldn’t even be Ragnarok Loki, so how could it be Loki DIRECTLY after/during his most villainous? I just kept thinking to myself.. Loki is intelligent. He is strong. He is more than what they represented him as. And he never deserved any of that. He is playful, of course. But he is not a buffoon who lets others walk all over him. He doesn’t deserve to be the laughingstock in a series that was supposed to uplift him. No other character was “humbled” in their own series like this.

Like you said, you’ve never had this experience with characters you’ve been fixated on before. I felt the same way. I had many favorite characters who were killed off, yet their deaths weren’t as brutal to me as the character assassination Loki was put through. I think I posted something along the lines of that. That all of this has made mourning Loki’s actual death in Infinity War so… weird.

The next months or so, I tried getting back into loving Loki. Which as you can probably tell… it worked. But I was still so disgusted by the series. I would pace around my room thinking of Loki rants in my head, and I’d write them down in my notes app just thinking… ‘well that doesn’t fucking add up.’

What helped was knowing there were others that shared the same feelings that I did.

I began lurking on this side of Tumblr, reading everyone’s posts (and even masterlists) of reasons why the series was so fucking garbage, and how it did absolutely no justice to Loki’s character.

It helped me realize and identify the reasons why the series upset me so much. It also helped me learn more about Loki’s character in general, to which I fell more in love with him. It helped me feel less alone, and I wanted to voice my own opinions as well. I felt so lost, and I really wanted to connect with others who felt the same.

Eventually, I began posting my own rants as well as following a bunch of other OG Loki fans who primarily focused on Loki’s character before the series (as well as before Ragnarok.)

These were people who understood Loki, and loved him as much as I did. I found community, and everyday I am so grateful for everyone here. I was (and still am) heavily fixated on Loki, and the mischaracterization would irk me so fucking badly. The lack of love for Loki for who he is, outside of ships and fanon, hurt me. He means a lot to me even if he is just a fictional character. I see myself in him.

So… long story short, it really means a lot that I could play a part in helping you out with your own confusion and feelings of loneliness through all of this bullshit. It’s the same thing I went through a few years ago. Wanting to help as well as wanting to connect with others who felt lost and hurt like I did, was why I started posting on here. It’s a bit of a full circle moment for me lol.

Other platforms are DREADFUL. I think I’ve said this on here somewhere before, but Pinterest has a lot of OG Loki content, and I find it easier to avoid the series related stuff. I recommend checking it out if you haven’t. Also… I HIGHLY recommend using the google search Before:Year feature helps so much!! It’s pretty fun to see a lot of the first reactions to Loki’s character, as well as the outdated memes 😭😭😭 OG Loki fangirls paved the way!!

It really is a peculiar ass situation. My favorite character has been killed off, an alternate version of him was revived, and it’s all complete misery. What REALLY annoyed me though was people just accepting it.. Like what? Really? This is Loki to you?

Thank you for this, and I’m glad you feel less alone. I hope that you continue to find community within this side of Tumblr. It’s all I ever wanted for anyone who stumbled across my blog. So sorry for the long ass response LOL

[thesoftboiledegg]

Man, I did NOT realize how much I missed Morty until I watched "A Rick in King Mortur's Mort." If you've spent thirty seconds on my blog, you know that Rick is my favorite character. I like Morty, but I don't specifically watch the show for him. But his dynamic with Rick is brilliant, and separating them by putting Morty in the background could've been a fatal flaw if season six didn't start turning it around near the end.

When other characters appeared on the screen (especially in group family scenes) I thought "OK, let's not take too much attention away from Morty." I never thought I'd hear myself thinking that. I think that season six is great overall, but that actually made me look at it a little more critically. This show just does NOT work without Morty. Developing the family dynamic was great, but I'm hoping that the show will start focusing on the core characters again.

Anyway, this was a good episode. Like Morty, I kept waiting for the reveal that Rick was just being an asshole and letting Morty talk himself into a disaster so that Rick could save him and then hold it over his head for ages. I wasn't too worried since Rick's been changing so much and going to therapy, but it still crossed my mind.

Maybe Rick's still following Dr. Wong's instructions: being patient and watching events unfold instead of immediately reacting with anger.

The callback to the infamous "The Vat of Acid Episode" blew me away. I didn't think the show would ever even mention it again. That episode was Rick at his worst: an abusive, sociopathic monster who emotionally destroyed Morty under the guise of being nice. So much of Rick's affection in seasons 1-4 was fake or manipulative. He did care for Morty, but boy, he didn't hesitate to smack him down and remind him who was the Rick.

I loved how the end of the episode paralleled the start of "The Vat of Acid Episode" perfectly. It's like this scene with Rick and Morty saying "I love you," grasping each other's hands and jumping willingly into the lava together undid all of Rick's cruelty.

Well...not quite. Which brings me to the one issue that I have with their relationship development: the show keeps acting like they needed to come to a mutual understanding, like their issues were partially Morty's fault. 99% of their problems came from Rick's bullshit.

Rick IS taking accountability, admitting that he fucked up and trying to do right by Morty. However, I think Morty needs to tear into him. In fact, it's a little unsatisfying that he doesn't. Rick needs to know how much he hurt Morty because that's the only way that Morty could ever find peace and Rick could even begin to atone for it.

I don't think Rick's trying to dodge responsibility. If Morty finally unleashed his rage, I think Rick would stand there and accept it. Maybe Evil Morty was supposed to be C-137 Morty's stand-in when he tore into Rick at the end of "Rickmurai Jack," but it's not enough because C-137's got personal issues with Rick that no one else has.

Rick's my favorite character, but--he deserves it. He took his shit out on that kid for way too long. Even once would have been too many times. I wish the show would let Morty seriously confront Rick about everything that he did.

Also, Rick's still got a lot of work to do, but this episode left me wondering where they could go from here. Either Morty's going to start seizing control, or something huge is going to happen that shakes up the status quo.

Still, I enjoyed the sweet moments in this episode. Rick calling Morty "little junebug" was so unexpected, but so loving and sincere. He's called Morty "buddy" and "kiddo," but that's the first time he's given him an affectionate nickname like that. Sounds like something that he would have called Beth when she was little.

I was wondering when Rick and Morty would share an emotional hug (as opposed to the spontaneous one that they shared in "Get Schwifty" all those years ago), and there it was. Not the scenario that I expected, but Rick and Morty hugging while Rick assures him that "we're going to make your dick so fake" is perfect for this series.

And again, Justin Roiland does a great job. I love how he captures the gentle undertones in Rick's voice.

Between Rick (basically) having two daughters in the house, trying to give Beth parental advice and showing Morty affection, it seems like he's learning how to be a father again. The way he extends his arms to Morty while shushing him looks so natural, like when he gently turns on Morty's goggles for him in "Full Meta Jackrick." He's reclaiming in his 70s what Prime Rick tore away from him in his 30s.

I also liked how this episode kept things fresh by returning to Earth's solar system. When Rick and Morty can visit infinite planets in infinite universes, what else is there to do? Return to an "ordinary" setting that they haven't spent much time in. This episode reminded me of "Something Ricked This Way Comes," which Rick mentions directly--another great callback to earlier seasons.

I noticed that Morty and Rick are continuing to gradually switch places. Morty's the one who suggests that they move to another dimension, and he says in the beginning that he wouldn't be too upset if he never saw his family again. Glad to see that he hasn't regressed back into being a passive little boy, which I was worried about.

Overall, this was a solid episode. I would've done a few things differently, but the writers have done a great job of pushing the show's boundaries and transforming the characters. Still, this upward growth can't go on forever, which makes me a little worried about what's coming next.

[magicaleggplant]

extremely belated montreal worlds impressions, part 2

part 1 (pairs and women recap)

finally finishing this a whole month after worlds... i'm traveling again over the next couple of weeks and i've barely recovered from montreal! anyways, here's the (very rushed) ice dance and men recap.

———————————–

ICE DANCE

...is a fake sport, but i enjoy the vibes? i don't know a lot about the technicalities of ice dance despite having watched it for many years, so it mostly comes down to whether i like a team or not. overall i enjoyed the event, the free dance more than the rhythm dance (there are only so many 80s RDs i can take...) there were a lot of enjoyable free dances, even in the early groups! i actually enjoyed them more than the final group, in a way. the podium in ice dance tends to be too predictable.

chock/bates: i've never had much of an opinion on this team. i liked them best when they were doing character pieces like the snake charmer fd, but i also found myself enjoying their rhythm dance at worlds. they skated it very well and it was fun and engaging. the free was a bit of a question mark... i thought they had a lot of interesting positions throughout, especially in the lifts and choreographic elements, but the whole program felt a bit disjointed to me. it was fine, it didn't leave much of an impression. the whole did not feel like more than the sum of the parts... their speed was also not the best.

gilles/poirier: i can't remember much from their rd except that piper's costume was amazing, i loved her holographic leggings. their free was a MOMENT, though. wuthering heights has been one of my favorite free dances all season, and it was so good to see it live in front of a home crowd. they are such good storytellers, and when their choreo hits, it really hits. i love when they do something unusual like this program - it doesn't always work, but in this case, it did. the placement of that curve lift was perfect. i will note, however, that they are also not particularly fast.

guignard/fabbri: nearly swore out loud when her dress caught on her skate right in front of me. that was a nerve-wracking few seconds until the end. their free dance was beautiful and suited them really well, i especially loved the choreo assisted jumps near the beginning. their skating skills are clean and precise. i just wish their rhythm dance didn't have such a godawful music cut. none of their RDs have suited them well in the last few seasons.

fear/gibson: no thoughts, head empty, vibes only. in all seriousness, i enjoyed their rhythm dance, it's fun and it's a great fit for them. i did not enjoy rocky. i would have loved it as an exhibition, but not as a competitive program. i can see how it's a crowd-pleaser, though. they were definitely popular with the audience.

lajoie/lagha: probably one of, if not the most popular team with the audience! they are one of the teams i'm most looking forward to seeing in the coming years. i became a fan when i saw them live at last season's skate canada. they skate big and fast, they have good skating skills and both programs were well-choreographed. their rd is a lot of fun - that's how you incorporate a theme and commit to it! i love how most of the dance moves are choreographed into the step sequences instead of stopping and posing. the fd music is a little one-note and i still prefer last season's white crow fd, but their skating quality makes up for it. i'm so glad they were still able to skate at worlds after marjorie's concussion earlier in the season.

carreira/ponomarenko: loved both of their programs, especially their fd. i never knew they could pull off drama so well. their growth in the last two seasons has been phenomenal. it was hilarious that the audience kept getting faked out by the music in the end and clapping before the program ended. i probably would've had them a place higher in the standings.

other notes:

i came out of worlds with an unexpected appreciation for lopareva/brissaud. i never paid much attention to them before, but their skating skills were impressive. i don't think the audience really "got" their rd, but props to them for choosing to do something different. the fd was a snooze, though.

i also enjoyed demougeot/le mercier's free dance. some really interesting choreo moments.

turkkila/versluis: enjoyed their free dance as well, it's a nice look on them.

lim/quan's fd was another Moment! i am super excited for this team and how far they've come in their first senior season. hannah's acting and expressions are god-tier... they need to work on speed and SS, but their fd was gorgeous and one of my favorites of the event.

felt so bad for the taschlers' fall in the rd. i think they were the fastest team in the whole ice dance event, it's so impressive how powerful their skating is. i have questions about their packaging sometimes but i really like this team, and i hope next season goes better for them.

orihara/pirinen's fd was another favorite of the event. they are both SO expressive and fun. in any other team, yuka would outshine her partner, but juho not only keeps up with her but complements her perfectly!

———————————–

MEN

this was the event i was most looking forward to at worlds, and it did not disappoint. as chaotic as i was expecting it to be, i did not anticipate that it would be quite that chaotic. men be menning, as always.

ilia: i wish it were otherwise, but his competitive performances were just not doing it for me. his weaker skating skills were very obvious live when compared to many other top men. i like his sp choreo but i feel like he's put less performance into it with every competition. it was disappointing to see how much he slowed down during the step sequence. (granted, he did have an undisclosed injury at worlds, so that could have been an exacerbating factor.) the free was...historic. i genuinely wish i felt something while watching it, because the audience was losing their shit with every jumping pass lol. and why shouldn't they! like...what the fuck! this is the most incredible jump drill the world has ever seen! who knows when or if he can replicate it again! ...but it's still a jump drill. (side note about how irrationally annoyed the choreo sequence makes me. it's just randomly tacked on the end, the music cut is so abrupt, it has nothing to do with the rest of the program, shae lynn why.) and then i watched him in the gala and he was like a completely different skater. complete 180. the difference was so stark, i could hardly believe it. he can perform! he was giving more in that teenage-angst-ridden exhibition than i've seen in all his competitive programs combined. i can only hope that he brings more of that energy to competition someday, because that's the kind of skating i want to see, that's a skater really connecting with the music and the audience.

yuma: i'm about to heap an embarrassing amount of superlatives on this kid. it was my first time seeing him live, and he was everything i'd hoped for. jumps light as a feather, running edges for days. (you should have heard my ungodly shriek when he landed his 4F in front of me! it looked so easy.) skating skills - sublime, every stroke effortless, excellent speed. but what i'm most impressed with is his artistic improvement this season. he's always been an incredible technician (and i have a lot of thoughts about how ilia is being branded as The Technician and yuma The Artist now, when in fact yuma's technique is just as good, only with lower base value, and his SS are far superior, but i digress) but he has really put in the work to become a better performer and fine-tune everything from his body movements to his interpretation of music. jokes about making me like imagine dragons aside, i think his sp helped him explore music and sharp movements that were out of his comfort zone. loved that step sequence. (the only criticism i have is that he needed more swagger. he needed some more of what adam was serving in his sp, a certain cockiness and suaveness. but yuma has always been a more introverted skater. i think that kind of expression is still difficult for him.) the free was simply glorious. i didn't think i would like yet another rain in your black eyes program, and i was side-eyeing lori nichol for giving yuma this music after she used it for sui/han. but yuma made it his own. there were so many beautiful moments perfectly timed to the music. (ina bauer! spiral! and the step sequence, ahhh) he was so close to being clean, there was an audible groan in the audience when he fell on the 3A, but then they cheered him on until the end, which was heartwarming. what an incredible comeback season from yuma. i'm so excited for his future, i think he has so much potential and many bright moments ahead. now i've written a goddamn novel already, but i haven't even mentioned werther yet. i'll just say that his exhibition is one of the most beautiful programs i've ever seen, competitive or otherwise, and it shows off everything good about yuma's skating. perfect. no notes.

adam: where the fuck do i even start. honestly...if i could only remember one moment from all of montreal worlds, it would be his free skate. it was THE skate of the event. the mounting excitement as he landed all his jumps. the way i said "oh my god" out loud as he set up for the backflip, then landed it in front of me. the audience in complete hysterics. i can't even describe what the arena was like after his free skate. it was. insane. it genuinely felt like there was electricity in the air. the screams were deafening. my heart was pounding. it took me an entire group of skaters to come down from that adrenaline high, lmao. meanwhile, adam sat there in the green room...for hours and hours...and then ended up getting bronze because why the fuck not lmao. it was kind of the perfect conclusion of a chaotic season and a chaotic worlds. yeah, that free skate was THE moment. on another note, i don't actually like his free that much from a choreo standpoint. i think he's one of the most expressive and unique skaters in the field today, and he can pull off a lot of benoit's weirdness, but this free just isn't one of my favorites. it's extremely memorable though, for sure. his sp, on the other hand, was a disaster, but i really appreciated how he kept performing despite the messy jumps. he skated the step sequence like the jump mistakes didn't even happen. that's the sign of a committed performer. i'm very excited to see what else adam has to bring in the future, though i hope he doesn't start throwing in backflips too often - they're only fun when they're infrequent and unexpected.

shoma: shoma has a particular way of moving that is so unique to him. where yuma's skating is springy and light, shoma's skating has weight. it's very difficult to describe, but i mean it in a good way. it's the way everything he does feels so deliberate. he has excellent upper body carriage and his movements really project out into the audience. his sp step sequence was a highlight. he has an innate musicality that is natural to him. truth be told, i haven't liked his programs as much since he moved to stephane, but it was good to see his skating live again. i don't know if shoma will retire soon or keep competing, but if that was his last competition, i'm glad to have seen it, jump issues aside. i first heard of him as a novice skater back when i was first becoming a skating fan. i've been through quite a few generations of skaters' retirements, at this point. still an odd feeling when it might be someone you first saw as a tiny child, though. i also enjoyed his exhibition, it was a different style for him.

i wrote way too much about the top 4, so i'm going to try to keep the rest of this short:

jason: i'm just glad he's still skating. the world needs more of him, for as long as he's willing to give it.

lukas: very fun, i enjoyed him quite a bit.

deniss: finally! a clean short! more of that and fewer quad attempts, please.

kao: ugh. the collective wince in the arena on those falls... i wanted him to skate a clean attack on titan so badly, i love that program for him. he's very talented and INSANELY fast (cannot stress this enough, his speed is mind-blowing) but still lacking in control, and his performance skills need work as well. i hope this worlds was a good learning experience for him.

nikolaj: he's...so tall lmao. amazing lines. good musicality. terrible spins. looking forward to his improvement.

junhwan: the way i put my hands to my face as he fell on the 3A right in front of me... i just hope next season is healthier for him. he's a very, very quality skater and he deserves better.

don't talk to me about boyang

last but not least, shoutout to donovan for those incredible personal best skates! he still needs a lot of work on his SS and speed, but i really hope his jump consistency keeps improving.

———————————–

all in all, worlds was just...a tornado of emotions. some bad, most good. it was my first time seeing the world championships live, and i'm really glad i had the experience. for anyone thinking of going to worlds in the future, please be aware that the days are LONG. i skipped all the practices and some earlier groups of the short programs in order to explore the city, and i was still completely wiped out after every day of competition. it took me several weeks to recover, lol. thanks montreal! i definitely won't forget that week.

[dk-wren]

Week 3 - 30 Days of Buddy Daddies

Welcome back to Week 3 of me responding to the 30 Days of Buddy Daddies prompts! Thank you for all your support on the previous two weeks' posts. I've been having a lot of fun answering these prompts. Anyways, without further delay, here are my responses for days 15-21!

Day 15: Favorite Official Illustration

Massive fan of Lily's work, so here are my favorites (was gonna say top 5, but even that was hard to narrow down)

I mentioned it last week, but these two pieces of Kazuki, Rei, and Miri in kimonos are some of my favorites, so definitely gotta include them here too.

Bonus: Since it came out after the 15th, but I’m so love with it I have to include it because Rei (and Miri) finally got their cat!!!

Day 16: Character Whom You Most Identify With

Trait-wise, Kazuki is probably the character I identify with the most.

I like to make sure my friends or whoever I am with is taken care of, which has lead to me being referred to as the "mom of the group" on multiple occasions. I generally try to keep a positive external attitude, even if that's not reflective of how I actually feel. And I always try to lead with love.

Definitely not to the same severity as Kazuki, but I also have a tendency to sometimes let past memories or mistakes influence current decisions. It's those moments where I might want to do something or try a new thing, but a lingering memory just pops back into my head and I psyche myself out/decide to longer move forward.

Also, a lot of what I do for my major (and hopefully in a future career) is research-based, obviously though in terms of historical or biographical information and not how to take out someone quietly and efficiently.

Day 17: Character Whose Story You Would Like to Know More About

I would love to know more about Kyuutaro.

I really enjoyed his character and the way he kinda teetered between sides. I was asking myself, will Kyu help Kazuki and Rei or Ogino or is he gonna encourage the duo to be a family or warn them about getting too close with Miri. Things like this made me wander what is his history with the organization, let alone how he got involved with the organization.

The audience is really never shown anything about Kyu's life outside of Yadorigi, so I'm curious does he have a lifestyle outside of the cafe that's like what Rei used to have (very isolated and shut-in), did he have a past partner like Kazuki, I don't know, what is he like when away from the organization/giving out assignments.

There's a brief glimpse into when Kyu assigned Kazuki and Rei a mission together for the first time. Like, I just want to know what were his interactions with each of them beforehand and what other reasons motivated him to pair those two together. Also, the dynamic that is hinted (?) towards with Kyu telling Miri Kazuki is a comedian and Rei's a Middle Eastern Oil Baron, as well as his little smile in the finale telling Kazuki and Rei that he's no longer gonna run errands for them as he drives away, he clearly is fond of or enjoys Kazuki and Rei's company. I would've been so excited to see this side of their relationship explored more.

Again, there's a lot of mystery around Kyu so I would love to know more about him.

Day 18: Theories or Headcanons

I did a few head canons about a quarter or halfway through the series, so here's some more based on the second half of the season and epilogue!

Because Kyu will occasionally watch Miri at Yadorigi, he keeps a private stash of her favorite snacks behind the counter. Kyu even lets her create a "reserved for Miri" or "save for Miri" sign that he hangs on the draw or box where they're kept. This remains their little secret for a while, but eventually Rei or Kazuki notices the sign and asks Kyu what's behind the sign that says "reserved for Miri," which he just brushes off by saying toys/coloring supplies. Eventually, Kazuki realizes it's a secret snack stash and Miri's been having more sweets while staying with Kyu then what he allows her to take/have, prompting Kazuki to tell Kyu to stop giving Miri extra treats. If Kyu listens to Kazuki's request is up for debate though.

In ep. 11, Kazuki and Rei are shown watching one of Miri's shows that presumably she forced them to watch in the beginning, and then probably began to enjoy on their own (or they just associate that show with her). I imagine as Miri begins to grow up, they keep watching this show or another one of Miri's favorites even after she loses interest. She at first thinks they are still trying to treat her like a child or don't want her to grow up, but then realizes whenever Kazuki or Rei turn it on, they don't even refer to it as "her" show anymore or ask if she wants to watch it. This causes Miri to eventually ask why they still watch that show and if they realize she's no longer into it. Kazuki and Rei are not oblivious to the fact that she's grown up, so they share a laugh and tell her that they just enjoy watching it still.

Around Christmas, it becomes an annual tradition to go on a fun family outing to Marinoa City and go on the Ferris wheel, share a crepe, and maybe do a little holiday shopping. I don't know when or how Kazuki and Rei will tell Miri that her mother has passed, but I feel like once they do, they would take Miri to visit her grave on the same day so that it really feels for Miri like she gets to spend the day with her whole family. They'd probably start this tradition the year after the main storyline ends, but depending on when Kazuki and Rei reveal the truth to Miri, that would be incorporated into that day's plans later.

Kazuki's really good at making hand shadow puppets. Not something he intentionally set out to learn, but maybe one night Miri has a nightmare, there's a thunder storm that scares her, or a power outage, and she goes to Kazuki's room where he takes out a flashlight and begins to play around. He does really simple ones at first, but Miri is so fascinated by it, she keeps asking him to do more. So, after Miri is finally able to go back to sleep, he looks up how to do other animals for the next time Miri asks and learns that he's got a knack for it.

Still kinda a draft, but I was thinking about how Rei has very few "normal" experiences in life since he has spent basically his whole life under the eyes and rules of the organization. He's definitely street smart, but comes up a little short when it comes to book smart. So, what if Rei eventually decides to enroll in one of those online degree programs. Perhaps as Miri gets a little older and is less dependent on her papas, Rei has a bit more time on his hands (and perhaps also because Kazuki is still limiting his gaming hours per day). He does some poking around online and feels going to college/getting a degree is a fairly normal thing to do, leading him to just apply for an interesting sounding one. He would get accepted, and when Rei tells Kazuki, he breaks down crying because he's so proud of him and that he did it all on his own. Perhaps this would lead to Miri and Rei doing their work together at the dining table or going on trips to the library together so they can both work on their school work.

Day 19: What Would You Write in the Mom's Chat

A) if this is true to life, I'd probably be quietly reading all the messages in the Mom's chat, reacting to some, and occasionally typing something

B) if I were to type something into the Mom's chat though, it would probably be something along the lines of "You think Kazuki will ever let us know when he's gonna do a stand-up night? I'm dying to see him perform. Not to be cheap, but do you also think he could get us in for free?"

Day 20: Scene/Moment that You Would Have Liked to See

No idea where this would have fit in, but would have liked to see Kazuki and Rei tucking Miri in at night. Like let me see them read/act out a bedtime story, pepper her with kisses, and pull her blanket up high to make sure she's all snuggled in and nice and warm.

And like, how adorable would it be if Miri starts insisting Kazuki and Rei gotta kiss all her plushies good night too or she teaches them the smile spell, which she then makes them do for her every night.

Day 21: A Post from Kazuki's Instagram

I’ve already written about the Ferris wheel scene being the scene that caused me (the most) anguish. But the way this post broke me and just made me so sad, even without a caption, is why I’m including this one.

Angst aside, the Instagram was so fun! Always looked forward to see what part of the new episode would be featured in the post. I doubt there will be, but hope there’s little updates every now and then.

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Thank you again for reading this week's responses! Another very hectic and busy week, so I really did not have a whole lot of time to edit my replies (apologies for any errors or really long sentences). But, still glad I was able to step away from my work every now and then to work on these prompts! As always, had a lot of fun this week, even if some of my answers are on the shorter side.

Not that anyone cares, but also think I'm gonna hold off on posting the next round of responses until the end of the month so that there's not one post with like 2-3 days. Could change my mind, but that is my current plan.

See you again sometime soon!

-Dakota Wren

[sappho-shalom]

CONVERSION UPDATE ?!

Long time no see!!! So I think in my last update I said I was considering enrolling in college and guess what? I did! It's just community college and I'm doing it part time and I'm not entirely sure what subject I want to focus on, but I'm a few weeks into it and so far it's been going well. I also got a job which is great because I've needed one for awhile lol. Also, re: sims 4 jewish cc, I never was able to get sims4studio to work (I consulted many forums) so I don't think that's happening anytime soon sorry!!

But anyways, what everyone is here for: conversion updates! I've started studying with a partner, she's older than me and is marrying into a Jewish family so she's a little more knowledgeable about certain things compared to me, but it's still cool to have a partner and she’s really nice! I think the first time we met together with the rabbi we were discussing the Akedah and he asked us why we thought G-d would command Abraham to do something like that, and I had just finished my first watch of Good Omens season 2 so I pulled out some references to the Book of Job and he seemed very impressed with me LMAO.

But more importantly: I've finally been to services! My first service was Rosh Hashanah so, to quote my rabbi, I was kind of thrown into the deep end LOL. I was a little anxious (although less than I thought I would be) and it was kind of awkward when everyone but me kissed the Torah (and of course everyone was watching bc I guess you face the Torah when it’s carried around the room? I learn new things everyday!), but I really enjoyed it!! I was worried I was going to get bored or something (it was a 3 hour long service) but I ended up adulting for my mom who kept asking when we could go home lol. I also went to the Kol Nidrei service which was nice, there were way more people!! I also got to take home a tzedakah box (except it only takes coins and this is the 21st century so I never have coins LOL). OH and last week I got to light Shabbat candles for the first time!!!! But not really, it was Thursday and we were just practicing (and I butchered the Hebrew). BUT I did ask the rabbi and he said I could start lighting Shabbat candles myself!!!! I'm genuinely so happy and excited about it.

The synagogue also has services for Sukkot and their own sukkah which I wanted to go to but the first one was a potluck (I hate cooking) and I almost went to the second one because they had pizza but then I found out that we had to pay for an entire pizza ourselves ?!?! I don't have money for that LOL. (Okay that sounds a little mean lol, I was just expecting it to be like everyone chips in $5-10 and there are enough pizzas ordered for everyone to get 1-2 slices, not $14 for your very own pizza!!)

I've been working Friday nights a lot but I finally worked up the courage to talk to my manager so after this week I'll be free on Shabbat evenings and hopefully go to Shabbat services (or just just spend it at home LIGHTING MY OWN SHABBAT CANDLES BC THATS SOMETHING I CAN DO NOW?!?!?!)! Sorry if this post is a little all over the place or there's too many exclamation marks, I'm genuinely just so excited. It really feels like studying is starting to ramp up, although that probably has something to do with all the High Holidays lol. Anyways, I think that's it!

Chag sameach!

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

On the topic of EoT’s suspension and whether or not that’s a self ask anon, it’s very much likely bc I’ve never really seen any of LO’s fans use her exact name calls for anything or think they’re being creative by coming up with a clever insult for something she doesn’t like, or copy her exact phrasing word for word, not that I’ve really paid much attention to that anyway, however….I was once a LO fan, and my ex as far as I know, most likely still is. Even when we were still together, they sometimes threw around specific terms LO uses when talking about stuff ie “white favoritism” in terms of writing characters, shipping and character lineup, “Poe faced” about a mobile game we played together coming out with a new season at the time and their ‘concern’? over it being unnecessarily ‘edgy’, “gay reylo” about catradora, and “nazi/fascism/abuse apologist” about making their main villain oc irredeemable and making sure not to write them like rebecca sugar would,etc and i hate to say it but they’re a pretty good example of a sheep and not even just when it comes to Lilian. I think what started to have me go down this rabbit hole of how problematic and awful LO really is, is how I kept getting this vibe/fear of accidentally offending her, if I were to interact with her, basically walking on eggshells, which is not good, and brings me back to my own past traumas with toxic abusive assholes I’ve dealt with. If anything I still kind of enjoy MO’s art and videos, but I’ll have to watch in a way that doesn’t go straight to LO’s pocket.

And I kind of have the feeling LO’s influence may have also contributed to even my friendship ending with my ex too, bc even when we broke up as a couple, we were still okay with being friends, and even while I thought things were fine between us after awhile, apparently things weren’t on their end bc they pulled away from me completely over how similar our coming outs were; they told me after reflecting on it, they noticed this pattern of similarities between them and their timings, basically accusing me of copying them and tacking on their labels just so they could notice me? I’m sorry but don’t flatter yourself. Because that is farrrrrrrr from the truth and it literally took me over 6 yrs to come to terms with being gay, going back n forth on whether I was actually bi or lesbian, and even with my pronouns, I am comfortable with going by she/they, and even with those I still contemplated over for awhile bc I always had this fear of ‘faking’, so I made sure to take my time in figuring these things out, regardless whom I was interested in, not letting anyone define me and they knew that. While they said I never did anything objectively wrong, it’s like they just picked apart any “questionable” thing about me and used it as a reason to drop me when she/they were never like that at allllll, more so the opposite, and seeing them act this way felt like such a betrayal because I never saw it coming from someone I considered one of my best friends, we literally started dating on our 7th friendship anniversary the year before. We almost made it to a year and despite their hectic work schedule, I knew they still did their best and I was nothing but understanding and supportive and loved them no matter what…I just..feel like it could have been handled so much better and that we could have come to some sort of understanding. I made it clear that I wanted to hold myself accountable for any flaws and mistakes I may have made throughout our relationship and apologizing for my timings coming off a certain way that offended them…taking responsibility for myself, my actions, any misunderstandings, open to having a civil conversation, call things out and clear up any confusion, but they just weren’t here for it and I don’t think it would have mattered what I had or hadn’t explained at that point, not if they were just going to pick it apart in a black and white/all or nothing way like a certain youtuber they sheep over. Shortly after Christmas, I found they had me blocked/removed on everything… Also they didn’t know I was getting those walking on eggshell vibes from LO either, I never told them, mostly bc they seemed to be defensive of her and I was still trying to figure out my feelings on that, not knowing if it was intuition or just me being paranoid. I’m so sorry if this is all over the place, but I also recall seeing an ask here about friendships falling apart bc of LO’s influence and I felt I may as well work that in and vent a little. If LO encourages questioning the validity of someone’s labels and cutting them off over it, that is truly fucked up, considering she said that if someone identifies a certain way, you don’t question it unless you want your teeth knocked out, yet she also misgenders those she doesn’t like… those inconsistencies alone, among many, are a red flag.

.

[aggressive-almond-cookie]

I keep putting off writing about my Chill Season experiences so far because I want them to reach a satisfying narrative conclusion (something that is totally normal to want and possible to achieve) but I’m starting to forget them so I should probably just write them down in some rambling fashion.

I’m having fun. I tried out the nova for way too long and was inkcredibly awful at it, like so absolutely terrible and bad, setting records for number of times I can die in a match while getting zero splats, and for whatever reason I kept using it, hating it the whole time, demoralizing myself, wondering if I was just terrible at everything forever.

My housemate watching me tells me I am ‘too brave for this weapon’ and like, they have a point, god, no matter what weapon I play I have the single brain cell of a sploosh main and just want to charge recklessly into every situation.

I tried hanging back but god I just felt like I wasn’t doing anything even though it did work, I guess, in the sense that I survived more. But my aim is so bad that I felt like I was just being dead weight most of the time. I mean I was being dead weight charging in and dying all the time too but at least I felt like I was doing something!!

And then I switched to the new dapples and like. got 11 splats and top ink points the very next match. So it really is just that I’m extra atrocious at long-range anything, and not necessarily the entire game, at least.

Anyway, I really like Brinewater. I like how you can drop down to the side and get up to mid so quickly. I like how you start up so high and can see everything as you descend into the center. I have .... mixed feelings about Flounder Heights which is basically the opposite. It’s certainly a challenge I’ll need to adapt to, but right now it’s just fun in a novel way.

And the new (old) salmon run map, whoof. That is an interesting beast. It’s so ...long. I had an overall positive rotation but I’m sure grizzco splatana (a goddamn hot knife through butter, that thing) helped a lot there. Otherwise I mostly just kept getting lost and I have no idea how to effectively do grillers on that map. We didn’t even get glowflies once. I don’t know what we would have done.

But it’s so fun to have new places to run around, new mechanics to get used to, even though it’s hard. Maybe even because it’s hard, but it doesn’t ever really feel unfair. At least not at whatever level I’m at.

I bob between feeling like I do actually want to get better at this game and that maybe I would enjoy making a focused effort towards that, and fearing that if I start taking it too seriously I’m just falling back into the very trap this game pulled me out of (my tendency to take everything way too seriously and ruining my own fun for it). But logically it should be possible to aim to hone a skill while not staking anything meaningful on it. I don’t know that I’m capable of not being super intense about anything that I get involved with, but, I dunno. I’m probably overthinking it.

Like, I still haven’t tried ranked modes yet, and that’s really silly, three months in. Definitely overthinking it. Definitely need to just throw myself in there, like, yesterday, and make the best of the situation. Where is my splooshy brain cell when I need it!

[privacyredux]

45oz water

4:14pm - los angeles

today has been kind of slow tbh. not in a bad way though. i got to catch up a bit more with charlie and eric. i made plans or well, i guess i'll get to that bit later. since i wasn't going to dinner at charlie's i went shopping with them for the shit she'd need. honestly she's who encouraged me to come down in the first place and ive had a really good week plus in los angeles. better than usual actually. it's honestly not my favorite place in general, but i don't really feel like i have any complaints. i got my ass handed to me by ai again, but i guess that's just how shit goes. at least im not alone bc she did too.

the reason i can't go to dinner is bc i have other dinner plans. last night i went to see valeria at work again. it was kind of funny bc i offered to bring her some candy (sour patch watermelons) she was talking about doordashing and she kept insisting that she needed to pay for it and give me the tip she had planned on giving them. which turned into offering to pay for my drinks and me saying id just give her that money and more in tips. i guess she really has strict feelings about owing other people or something. regardless, even though i said i didn't think she owed me anything, we settled on dinner tonight as a compromise. i'm looking forward to it.

but anyway, uh it was fun. i did some karaoke. *nsync at her request and then doing bastille's laura palmer brought us around to talking about twin peaks, which she had never seen. and truly isn't even optimistic about enjoying, bc apparently she hasn't enjoyed much david lynch. she was gonna give it a try though, so even if it's pure complaints it'll be interesting to get her take. i dunno what it is, i do find most of valeria's views interesting, but even in general i just like hearing what people think about shit. like barring some offensive shit, even if i completely disagree and want to debate what they're getting out of it, it still keeps me completely occupied hearing another person's take on it.

yeah so that's how i had dinner plans for today. otherwise, i spoke a bit with blair again about lotr bc i was watching a minimal amount of rings of power just to do it. if i start it, i'll be more likely to continue and feel caught up for the new season. freya has been pretty busy so i haven't talked to her as much as i had the week prior. and im trying to make some direct plans with sabrina so i don't miss her before she's crazy busy. as much as i have a tour starting next weekend it's just for a little bit and hers is a whole ass thing. so hopefully i'll see her at the event and hang out a bit. i plan on coming to see her on tour too, but i know how that goes. it's all chaotic for me and i don't have nearly as much shit going when im on tour. i really doubt i understand the chaos of that level pop tour.

other than what's going on this week, and packing and cleaning up my place a bit, i think i'm ready for tour. ready to be pulled out of everything for a little bit and just immersed in work. especially in japan. i know i'll have a good time and i can kind of just enjoy everything around me and revisit places i love. i don't know there's an awful lot of love that i get out of visiting there. i'm positive it'll make me feel good regardless.

i watched something this week, i forget what, where one of the characters pretended to be an eels fan and it's just had them on the brain. also, i mentioned liking myself less when i was numb and it came together. and it's true. eric is keeping an eye on things too which is nice. probably not necessary, but i probably would've said that even when it was. so i'll accept the help and attention there.

falling apart - slow pulp

why do i cry - margo guryan

novocaine for the soul - eels

[asgardwinter]

Happy blogversary baby!! Heres a little request for you <3

Prom Queen by Beach Bunny*, Steve Harrington, and "Trust Me"

*No specific line, just whatever resonates :)

thank you, Kenz! <3 i hope you enjoy what i came up with...

out of my league

summary | Robin was tired of it, it was about time someone did something about you and Steve.

pairing | Steve Harrington x fem!Reader

warnings | insecure!reader, Steve is very cute in this one, very slight angst (blink and you’ll miss it), fluffy ending

word count | 1k (yeah, so this happened…)

author’s note | so… here we go with the first request! <3 i consider this to be set somewhere in between season 3 ending and the beggining of the 4th season, so it’s free from spoilers :)

song: prom queen by beach bunny / prompt: "Trust me"

Steve Harrington Masterlist | join the taglist! | Main Masterlist

“If I was pretty I bet he’d like me.” You spat one day at the video store.

“Wait, did I miss something?” Robin looked away from the small pile of tapes that were on the counter you were busy leaning on.

There was no need to respond, because the second she noticed where — or more like whom — you’ve been staring for the past five or ten minutes. Steve kept trying to charm the pretty girl since she walked inside the store, maybe even before she stepped inside.

“I do not have the patience for this right now. How many times have I told you to trust me?” Your friend mumbled under her breath rolling her eyes at the common scene she would always watch unfold. “You know, I really have to repeat myself but you…”

“Don’t you start with the whole ‘You should take a chance’ this and ‘You don’t see how he looks at you’ that.” You straighten yourself, maybe that was a way to get the lingering sadness from your mind. “It’s been months, Robin. Months. If I was one of those pretty girls like Nancy or... or... her!” You ended the same discourse with the same discrete pointing at Steve’s victim.

“You two have absolutely no right to judge me on my rants about pretty band girl.” She collected the tapes from the counter and started to walk around and place them in the right places. “I’ll remember to say that the next time you tell me ‘Robin, it’s so obvious’ or anything like it.”

“But you know…”

“Shhhh!” She shushed you. “No right, remember? No right!”

You raised your hands in defeat, lost in the playful banter with Robin you didn’t even notice Steve’s focus of attention leaving the store, so that the only entertainment besides doing your jobs was to test your and Robin’s patience. You loved it.

“What’s ‘no right’?” Steve asked, tilting his head as your focus suddenly turned from the two of them to the computer in front of you.

“You too!” Robin pointed at Steve. “Don’t even get me started on you!”

“Do you know what’s all that about?” Steve whispered to you.

“Long story. I think you’re better off with that friend of yours.” Why did you do that? Hurting yourself in your own words was stupidity, but you did it anyway. “Any luck today, King Steve?”

“Don’t you start.” He sighed. “But no. Zero luck. Least than zero.”

“One day the luck will get to you.” You said, still avoiding eye contact.

Steve shrugged and walked to the back of the store leaving you and Robin alone at the front.

“Please, I beg you, just ask this poor man out? That will be the key to seeing his eyes bright again.” Robin dramatized it and you only shaked your head.

There was no way he’d agree with going out on a date with you that wasn’t out of pity. There was also no way you’d ask him out.

“If you ask Steve out I’ll talk to the pretty girl.” Robin proposed in a moment of insanity.

“What?”

“You heard me, it’s a one time proposition. But think wisely because I’ll still keep insisting on this even if you deny…”

“Okay, I’ll do it.” You said.

In the end, you could always do it as a joke.

“Actually, I’m doing it now.” You sent her a smirk and walked to the back of the store, each step you took the anxiety grew.

It would all be a joke and then later you would be able to see Robin taking a chance on her romance possibility.

“Hey, Steve.” You said, leaning on the door to the back room as casually as you could.

“Oh, hi!” He said looking back at you with that breathtaking smile… focus!

“I was thinking, we work at a movie store but almost never get to see the movies.” You started, almost giving up when he gave you his full attention. It was better to spill it out before the rambling started. “So I thought: you, me, movies on a Saturday night. How does it sound?”

“Like a… date?” Steve needed to confirm. What was happening all of a sudden?

“Yup.” That was the longest thing you could say at that moment.

Steve stood there, looking at you and trying to examine every single wrinkle in your face. Maybe he was so shocked you dared to ask him out that he couldn't answer, or maybe he was afraid to hurt you — he was just that nice —, also could have been the…

“You and me?” He pointed between you both and you could feel yourself shrink towards the ground with shame.

“That was the idea.” You whispered, having no idea how your voice got out. It was the moment to tell him it was a prank, you needed to say it there or it would all be ruined forever. “Got…”

“So Robin was really right.” His words cut you off just in time with a genuine smile as he took a step closer to you.

“What?”

“She said I should ask you out, that you’d say yes but I didn’t believe it.”

“Well, if you lower your standards I bet you’d be going out a lot more.” You laughed at him.

“I don’t think that’s the case. Do you see, there’s this very nice girl that works with me and I just thought she was way out of my league.” Steve was close enough to hold your hands and that’s what he did, making your heart race even more — if that was possible.

“Well, Robin is quite out of your league.” You said, avoiding his intense look.

“I think you know I’m not talking about Robin.”

You finally built up the courage to look at him, really look at him. The way his eyes didn’t leave yours and how gentle his hold in your hand was.

“So… I’m guessing this is a ‘yes’ for you, me and movies on Saturday night.” You said unsure but happy nonetheless.

“You’re guessing right.” Steve smiled even more.

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[kimhargreeves]

Love Bites-Jack Russell x Reader (Werewolf By Night)

Summary: You've been friends with Jack for years. He's told you about his secret once but believe it's just a joke. Quickly you find out that he's been honest with you for a reason.

(I kinda got inspired by the Ice Nine Kills song 'Love Bites' since I'm an alternative/goth girl that likes to include these sort of things, also since it's inspired on An American Werewolf In London and it immediately came to my mind after watching this special. So, this will be a Jack x Reader one shot, maybe it's just me but I didnt enjoy Elsa that much since I'm afraid she's a bit too bitchy but maybe that's my opinion. Anyways enjoy.)

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Soft classic music continue to play throughout the room filled with expensive and unique paintings, ancient relics and the heads of many monsters that were once hunted.

I huffed to myself and kept on looking at the fireplace, paying attention to anything as simple as that since I didn't want to listen to the few hunters around me. My parents were known well hunters along with the Bloodstone family, though for many years they have been rivals.

My father loved hunting for any sort of monsters, the ones who are a true threat to society and will do anything to harm anyone in their path, though they were certain and had a few friends that were considered monsters but truly weren't.

Or that's the tales I've heard people tell amongst each other. My parents mysteriously disappeared when they both left to go on a mission, I still miss them though.

Speaking of monsters I began to search around the place noticing just one person was missing. To my right I noticed Verussa talking to her step-daughter, we made quick eye contact but we both looked away quick, glaring at whatever was closest to us.

Today us six hunters have gathered for Ulysses Bloodstone's funeral, and for one of us to be in possession of the red stone.

The sour expression on my face quickly faded when I noticed someone walking through the short hall. Immediately I rose up from my spot on the couch and I felt my heart betting faster and smiling lovingly at the man who had just arrived.

"Jack."

The tall man looked down at me and quickly took a step back when he realized how close I had gotten to him. "You're too awfully close, (Y/N)." Jack said going back to his awkward self and his accent still strong as ever.

"How've you been? It's been months since I last saw you." I've become worried after all these months he's been avoiding me.

Jack looked around room we were at so gently he took my shoulder and made me walk away so we wouldn't be heard.

"I-I know it's been long..forgive me but remaining far from you means that you'll remain safe."

"I can take care of my own, Jack. I believe it's you who needs saving." Jack's expression softened when I tell him this.

Without a warning I lean closer to him until I wrapped my arms around him. I feel Jack's body stiffen when I hugged him, I felt him pat my shoulder until he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me off of him.

I smiled up at him sadly when I felt that he didn't want me anywhere near him. "I think you're just in some deep trouble and don't want to tell me the truth." I whisper to him.

I don't think he's a werewolf. Maybe he did something bad and simply wants to hide the truth from me.

"If only you'd knew, (Y/N)." Jack looked away from me and began to walk over to where the bright red stone was glowing. "Beautiful isn't it?" He said changing the subject quick.

I decided to play along and follow him. I stared down at the stone and looked at how truly beautiful, unique and powerful it is.

"So rare and beautiful."

I glanced over to him and noticed him not looking at the stone. I fought back a smile and tried to hide my blush but failed. We were interrupted when Jovan, one of the hunters came to our side.

"Aye take it easy ya lovebirds." The taller man said chuckling to himself. "Fifty seven confirmed kills myself. Next year's my 30th season.

"I can almost smell the blood on your hands."

"Thank you. Aye I like the whole look with the makeup. It's a killer trademark."

"It's to honor my ancestors." Jack replies looking at Jovan then briefly meeting my eyes. My face also being just a bit covered in darker makeup, mostly around the eyes and with black lipstick.

The man looks at Jack and I before nodding his head. "Yeah. Not much for honoring my ancestors and feelings like that. I just know it looks brilliant on you." The taller man says in his thick accent.

"I mean. I know the importance and anonymity in our line of work, but it gets lonely. Just want to say I'm proud to be honoring old Ulysses tonight."

"Ulysses, of course! Hard to believe he's gone." Jack says turning to face Ulysses closed coffin. I remain standing close to Jack.

"Aye the mad bastard. Quite a place he built himself."

I must admit the decor and everything here is quite beautiful and I would for sure love to live in a place like this, only thing to get rid of would be Verussa and this place would be peaceful. Jovan and Jack continue to look at the decor around the room.

The heads belonging to monsters.

"So, any of these hacked beasties your handiwork?" He asks looking at Jack.

We look around until Jack's eyes land on s vampires head. "No... No, but him. Him I fought a few times." He says pointing at the head. "He's never looked so alive."

This earned a chuckle from the older man, both of them continue to joke around until Javon behind to ask me a couple of questions. "What would your parents think of this?" or "Do you have more siblings to keep the bloodline going? That way you'll continue to hunt."

The next one was if Jack and I ever encountered each other during our hunts. I answered that we would often run into each other, which was sort of of a lie, it would be me chasing after Jack and making sure he would be alright at times.

I would tease him and tell him "When are you finally going to accept on going on a date with me?" or also "It gets rather lonely without your company."

Jack would simply remain silent and slowly inching away from the conversation when Javon would listen intently and chuckle, also agreeing that he sort of met his wife the same way.

Jack was saved from his embarrassment when Verussa told us to gather around, she soon began to count on how many monsters we have hunted throughout.

The older woman rounded each of us. "Twenty Seven." with me being the shortest kill count. "Thirty seven kill. Forty three. Fifty seven quite impressive. And over One Hundred deaths give or take." She pointed looking at Jack who looked at her surprised.

"So many death dealers in one room. Oh, my dear." I furrow my eyebrows together when Verussa turns to her husband's coffin. Elsa from behind us takes her time in painfully moving a chair that loudly sounds throughout the room

"Thank you for gathering in ritual for shedding your masks tonight in honor of Ulysses Bloodstone. He was a leader, a friend, s liver without equal. Knowing his spirit would not be with us tonight to stayed his wishes for the ceremonial hunt, he orchestrated his present in other ways."

The coffin slowly started to open and I stare at the man's cadaver surprised, repulsed and sick. Doesn't anyone believe that is kinda disturbing? The rotting body begins to move like a puppet, like a sort of Frankenstein. An audio beging to play of the man's voice.

"I do hope my attendance delights you. Thank you, Verussa, for seeing it through and for shaping our cause like no other."

The rest of us exchange weird looks while we continue to stare at the corpse.

"With my passing, it is now time to choose a new leader in the crusade against monsters. This honor can only be bestowed upon  the strongest and most committed to our mission. Very soon, a monster unlike anything you faced will be released into the sacred grounds. The hunter who slays this beast will become our new leader, taking possession of my Bloodstone. Good luck. I'll be rotting for you."

I scoff at the awful humor and turn to face Jack who doesn't seem a bit surprised now at the corpse.

"The onto weapons permitted tonight have been placed in the garden. The stone will be affixed to the monsters hide. This will weaken it and also make it angry." Verussa says saving up the stone.

"Hold up. The stones finally up for grabs and we all earned the right to hunt, but she gets to crash this thing like it's a backyard wedding?" One of the hunters say looking back at Elsa who's been giving everyone awful looks.

"He brings up a good point. Where's the lovely lady's medallion?"

"Have you check up your own arse?"

"Elsa is welcome to join!" Verussa loudly says. Great now she's going to continue glaring and praying for my death.

"Let's get this shit over then." I tell myself and stood up following Verussa to know in which order we will be entering the gardens.

We each looked down and quickly saw our hands. Jack would be the first to open with me in second place to follow after him. My family has been fighting for years to earn that Bloodstone. I'll make sure to be the one to have it.

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I continue to walk through the gardens and looked carefully at the few footprints I saw on the ground. Carefully I jumped up and grabbed onto the wall above me, I hoisted myself up and remained quiet when I was above the wall and I remained still seeing someone walking to their right far away.  I held onto a dagger I had quickly found when I entered, I won't hesitate to harm the rest if it means that I'll have the stone

My eyes widened when I noticed Jack straight ahead, quickly and quite as ever I continued to follow him until I had scared him.

"What are you doing stranger?" I tease making him jump back in fear and curse in Spanish to himself.

"You're gonna get yourself killed if you continue doing that."

"I'm going to get you killed if you continue to let me scare you." I correct him. "So, are you truly going after this as well?" I ask when I begin to now wally alongside him.

"What sane person wouldn't?" He laughs it off.

"Not if I beat your ass first." I smile and saw him smirk just a little. We both stopped talking when someone stopped in front of us, we looked and saw Elsa.

Bur before anything could happen Javon appeared quickly attacking her making Jack and I split up from each other. "This feels like something only the Scooby Doo characters would do." I hiss at myself as I continued to run and slide into a hiding place when someone got closer and ran past me when they heard Elsa and Javon fighting.

A monster roared throughout the place making me shiver a bit since it sounded a lot louder from any creature I have fought. I need to see if Jack is alright?!

But where the hell is he?!

"Jack?!" I hiss his name and tried to not be loud while I continue to run through the place. "We need to get-" I stopped when I saw him being held to a bush. My mouth fell open when I saw a giant hand holding him.

Before I had the chance to scream, Jack leapt over to me and covered my mouth with his hands. "Don't scream! (Y/N), this is my friend. His name is Ted."

I stared at him confused, slowly he uncovered my mouth while I stared at him then at the giant odd creature. It looks like something straight from those cheesy 1930's film, the creature from the Black Lagoon.

"Please don't tell me his full name is Teddy." I whisper and continue to stare at the creature a bit afraid of it still. I'm surprised it didn't want to harm Jack.

"Don't worry. She's a friend... Don't say that!..Well, of course I was gonna come find you." I stare between them wondering how exactly he understands the swamp looking thing. He oddly looks cute talking to this thing.

"He sort of looks adorable." I mutter looking at the creature now in awe. I've never seen anything like Ted.

Ted's red eyes turn to me and grunt something only Jack could understand.

"Are you okay?" Jack let's go of me and gets closer to Ted. The monster snarls. "You can't keep counting on me to save you. This is the last time. I know, does it hurt?"

The monster grunts. "Yeah, they said that the stone would do that. Don't worry, I have a plan. Look, so apparently these little things explode. So, we're gonna explode our way out of here. All you have to do is don't die."

We heard something from behind us. Jack reached down for my hand and held it tight, now making me run after him until we entered a mausoleum.

"Are you alright, (Y/N)?!" He asked turning to look at me first and looking down at me to check if I wasn't hurt.

"I'm completely fine." I tell him.

We look back and shut our mouths when we saw Elsa in here as well. Ah great. Jack noticed the dark haired woman with a small limp on her leg.

"You hurt? Can I help you?"

"No." The woman strongly disagreed with him helping her in anyway. It angered me the way she speaks to him.

"He was only trying to be nice." I bitterly told her as well now standing my ground as well.

Jack remained silent since he doesn't like confrontations. He began to pace back and forth now trying to find an exit since we were locked in.

I remained still by the door and I felt a pang of jealousy when Elsa accepted Jack's offer and he knelt down by her side and helped her with the injury. I hugged myself and kept on staring at them and glaring at her a bit before I decided to look away. Maybe the reason why he keeps rejecting my feelings is because he doesn't like me in a romantic way.

"Why don't you two get along?" Jack asked making Elsa and I look surprised at each other.

"Their family stole something that belonged to us." We both said at the same time and looked away from each other.

The monsters outside continued to roar, Ted continue to. I glanced over and saw the many tombs of Elsa's relatives on top of others. She began to climb onto some of them and breaking the small window of one.

I closed my eyes wanting to get a bit of rest but it was interrupted when the door to the mausoleum was now open, I stood back straight and followed both Jack and Elsa out. A plan was being brainstormed until Jack accidentally hit the small bomb switch on.

"Oh, shit." We better run.

I began to run ahead of Jack making sure we wouldn't get attacked by someone first. Jack clumsily threw the bomb onto the wall but it hit further than he wanted it to.

"Jack will you please just set it on the small open piece?!" I asked running away from him when I heard quick footsteps approaching us and I dodged a weapon that was thrown to me.

I looked back ready to fight until the bright Bloodstone turned red and Jack was thrown away from it. Everyone curiously looked down at him and so did I.

"The Bloodstone did this to you?"

"He grabbed it and it threw him back."

Verussa grinned at this. "Oh my. A monster masquerading as one of our own. Desecrating a sacred night." She hissed at ordered someone to hold me back when they began to torture Jack.

I felt a hard hit behind head and my vision e came blurry when I blacked out.

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I had blacked out from the massive hit I had received, I held onto my head still feeling an intense pain. I glanced to my left and saw Elsa staring up ahead with a blank expression on her face. I noticed we were replaced inside a huge cage.

A small painful groan was heard next to me along with a few curse words I understood in Spanish. I crawled over to Jack's side and carefully helped him sit himself up.

"Jack! I'm so sorry I didn't believe what you said about you being a monster. I guess..I never wanted to believe that someone like you could harm me..us.."

Jack held his head as well and slowly nodded. "I tried telling you many times. That's why I continued to push you away. I don't want to harm the one person I truly care about."

Jack and I looked at each other and smiled sadly, until he looked away from me and turned to Elsa. He began to explain himself to her, about his other half, the half he has no control of. How he locks himself up every month when there's a full moon.

"We have plenty of time to figure things out!" He said sounding optimistic that we can do something about this.

"And why do you think they've placed us in here with you?" Elsa coldly asked Jack. Realization soon hit me, he'll tear us up if he were to become a werewolf.

"The Bloodstone's capable of transforming you in five seconds. Thanks in advance for making it quick."

"Jack do you really have no control when this happens to you?" I ask afraid of what he'll become soon. I held onto his hands tight when I began to shiver.

Jack refused to meet my eyes, that's until I caught him staring at the many monster heads decorating the room, he stood up looking around until footsteps we heard footsteps approaching. I shrieked when Jack pinned me against the bars and began to breathe against my neck and down to my wrist. I blushed deep red and felt like pushing him away but felt too embarrassed when Elsa looked at him weirdly.

He did the same to her only being a bit more respectful? Should I say.

"I need to remember your scents."

Jack raced over to the bars and stared at the masked hunters hopeful that they'll let us out and kill only him. "Please kill me as I am, or there will be no mercy."

Verussa removed lowered her cloak and removed her mask. "Mercy? This may surprise you but our whole mission is built on mercy for you, and those like you as well as all the innocent lives you take."

The older woman began to talk awful at Elsa and to me as well. Saying how she hoped that I would die soon and that no one else in my family would be alive.

Verussa began to chant in Latin soon. I stared at Jack afraid for him when he began to hold onto his stomach and shiver. Verussa held the Bloodstone to his direction. I fell back on my knees and crawled back in fear holding onto the bars when I heard Jack's limbs crushing and deep growls from him.

I opened my eyes and took a peek and screamed when I saw him yank Verussa by the arm and holding her in place. The top of the cage was now torn and open. I shakily stood up on my feet and saw a guard being ripped apart when Elsa and I took a good look at Jack transformed in his werewolf form.

"We need to get out." Elsa said looking up at the cage. She easily jumped up and hoisted herself up on the cage. "Grab on." She offered me her hand, now without hesitation I took it and made it outside of the cage with her.

Each of us went our separate ways and grabbed whatever weapon we could fight with. Elsa was fighting the rest of the hunters while I began to take most guards down.

I held onto a sword tightly and cut clean one of the guards arms off with blood splattering my clothes and face, easily I decapitated one of them when they grabbed my head and hit me against the wall. "Motherfucker!" I hissed glaring at one of them threw a dagger right next to the side of my face, drawing even more blood down my forehead.

"Jack!" I shouted when I saw more guards trying to kill him. Verussa gripped the back of my head and held a dagger against my neck and the Bloodstone in her other one.

Verussa fell back when Elsa caught her and pulled her so I could get rid from her right grip. I fell forward onto the ground and I saw Jack laying on the ground defeated.

I turned to look back at Elsa then back at Jack. I didn't hesitate so I crawled faster over to him and remained still when I was close enough to him.

"Jack? Are you still in there?" I softly spoke not wanting for anything bad to happen to me or him. All this time I thought he was just joking when he said we had a secret, I feel selfish now for not taking him so seriously.

I carefully reached closer to him until I shrieked and felt my head hit the floor hard when he punched onto me and held me down with his long claws.

I panted and tried to not feel scared. This my Jack Russell not some monster anymore. I stared back up at him, looking into his dark almost unrecognizable eyes. Carefully I placed both my hands against his face and saw him staring at me intently.

"It's over Jack..." I whisper looking at him lovingly. Now fully understanding him.

Jack's werewolf form quickly got away from me and disappeared. "Need help?" Before I had the chance to speak I was hoisted up by Elsa and saw a faint blush across her face.

"We..make a good team." She muttered looking away and now with us both looking at Ted. "Will you be alright?" She asked after a moment of silence.

I nodded my head also feeling embarrassed at her sudden niceness. She smiled just a bit and rested herself on a couch. "Go after him then."

I smiled over at her figure and looked up at Ted. Now taking a full view at how he truly is, red piercing eyes staring into my tired ones. "Can you lead me the way over to him, Ted?"

The creature lightly growled and started to slowly walk ahead, I hurried to his side and followed him until we reached outside of the building and I noticed the bright full moon outside now being covered by the cloudy dark skies.

☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️

Though I was extremely tired and got no chance to rest, I continued to follow Ted until we reached a wooded area, probably in the middle of the woods. Ted who was now far ahead from me began to run and I felt the ground shake a bit before me.

Strangely enough everything seems more lighter and colorful out here. A peaceful sensation like any other.

I squinted my eyes when I noticed a few things up ahead at where Ted went running off. The only sounds from the forest were of Ted's growls and the sound of a river nearby.

My eyes became watery when I saw Jack back to his human form being sat on the ground looking up at Ted. I began to run across the grass and dead branches until I found myself getting closer to the unusual pair.

"Is (Y/N) safe?"

Ted lightly grunted making Jack stare up at him confused. "What do you mean by they are here-" Jack fell backwards on the ground when I jumped over and threw my arms around his neck.

"Jack you're safe!"

Jack continued to cover himself up with a coat while he held my up so I wouldn't fall with him. He sat himself back up with me being seated right by his side almost on his lap. I hold onto his face and examine his tired eyes as I run my hand through his short dark and grey hair.

"I'm sorry that I ignored your warnings, but I don't regret them since in a way I saved you by being reckless."

I stared into his dark eyes and noticed him looking at me concerned, one of his hands carefully landing on my forehead tracing the dried up blood and small cut.

"Did I do this to you?!" His voiced cracked when he asked me this.

I lightly chuckled at him since he continues to be so concerned over everyone but himself. I shook my head and took his hand now staring down at him lovingly then before.

"You didn't."

"Did I scare you?" He then asks.

"I won't lie and say that you didn't when you first transformed. I soon knew you weren't a threat when you tried to protect me and Elsa. I knew you wouldn't harm me when I looked into your eyes. Into the eyes of the man I've always loved." I admit.

Without permission from Jack I leaned forward and pressed my lips against his. I quickly pulled back regretting not asking for his permission.

"I-I'm sorry Jack! I should've asked first." I started to move away from him but felt his grip tight on my hip.

"(Y/N). You shouldn't apologize, mi amor."

I blushed again now my entire red face being displayed to him. Jack's hand landed behind my neck now slowly pulling me back to him to resume our kiss. I closed my eyes and enjoyed our longer kiss until we slowly pulled away, embarrassed I looked away when Ted gave Jack a look only he could easily read.

"No, no! Quit saying such things, we don't need alone time." He scolded at the creature.

I now sat by Jack's side and heard him exchanging conversations with Ted. Jack now smiling to himself turned to look at me, "I still can't believe this is real...But are you sure in wanting to stay with a man like me, (Y/N)?"

I blushed again when his dark eyes landed on mine. I reached my side to kiss his cheek took hold of his hand.

"I'll forever remain by your side, Jack."

Jack smiled to himself and continued to hold me close to him. "I'm so happy then, my love. Though I wanted to make sure since..in a way werewolves do imprint when they find the love of their lives."

I can feel my entire face burning red when he mentions that. That's means I'm truly his soulmate then.

Ted who was seated a few inches away from Ted happily growled. "I know you're happy I am as well, but are you seriously asking for food right now?"

I happily sigh and rested my head on Jack's shoulder while continuing to hold his hand. I hear Jack chuckle lightly and feel his hand wrap itself around my shoulder keeping me close to him.

"What do you say, mi amor? Does sushi sound nice to you?"

I tiredly open my eyes and nodded my head. "It's settled down. We'll be having sushi and after that we'll be getting a proper rest."

Jack stood up and helped me on my feet. "I know the perfect place for take out. That way I'll make sure to clean your wounds." I reminded Jack and ran my hands through Jack's messy hair.

Jack eagerly nods his head and continues to insist on holding my hand. I continue to hold his tightly while we continue to make our way outside of the woods with Ted by our side.

[seriouslycromulent]

So I finally got around to watching The Librarians ...

After I finished the second half of the latest season of Leverage (aka Leverage: Redemption), I felt the urge to watch something else with the same energy. And what has the same energy of Leverage? Well, The Librarians ... duh.

Now, to be fair. I've tried to get into The Librarians in the past, but I could never make it past the first 3 episodes. Seriously, I've tried to start this series no less than 3 times, and I just kept giving up on it.

Why? Because I found most of the characters too annoying to enjoy it. Mainly Ezekiel, Cassandra and Flynn. And although I know that it takes time for actors to settle into their characters, and begin the journey of growth and change that comes with a solid character arc, I couldn't bring myself to keep watching.

So what changed my mind this time?

Easy. I didn't bother watching the first 3 episodes. 😉 Since I already knew who the characters were, and vaguely recalled how everyone got together, I thought I would just dive in and see how it would go from there.

And it worked! Most of the cast still got on my nerves for the first half of the first season, but it wasn't too long before they started to grow on me -- especially Jenkins.

In true "me" fashion, my favorite character easily became Jenkins / Sir Galahad, and most of my favorite scenes and episodes involve him. But more on him later.

Anyway, that's not to say their aren't plenty of other things I love about the show now. I'm not sure if there is common denominator among my favorite episodes, but here they are and a wee reason about why they're one of my favorite episodes:

... And the Fatal Separation (s3, ep9) Why? -- Three words: Ernie. Reyes. Jr. That's it. That's the reason this episode is on my list. And it's enough. Granted, I don't believe that Christian Kane could last more than 10 seconds in a real fight with Ernie, but the fact that he was the main guest star and was clearly having a great time made me really love this episode. Plus, how hot were Cassandra and Ezekiel posing as black market traders? Their hair and clothes made me want to see them in those roles again in the future.

... And the Reunion of Evil (s3, ep3) Why? -- I pretty much loved this entire episode from start to finish. I loved the conflict, the "creatures of the week," and the development it gave for Jake and Cassie's relationship. It did a wonderful job of balancing humor and drama, and of course, it was just really well executed because ... Jonathan Frakes directed it.

... And the Silver Screen (s4, ep4) Why? -- I know we're meant to love the whole film noir schtick involving Flynn and Baird, but I actually adored this episode for 2 reasons: 1) the rest of the team moving from film genre to film genre in order to help their teammates was funny as hell, and 2) Jenkins working with guest star Gloria Reuben to solve the real mystery on their end. I thought they had great chemistry together, and it made me want to see them interact with each other again in the future. I know that's not possible, but John Larroquette is just so great at creating chemistry with pretty much anyone.

... And the Christmas Thief (s4, ep3) Why? -- Wait. We get Ezekiel backstory *and* Steven Weber as an over-the-top villain of the week? Of course this episode is making my list of favorites! Granted, I'm not a big fan of the Christmas holiday personally, so it also gelled with me in that respect (aka steering clear of how "great" the holiday is), but more so I'm a huge fan of Steven Weber and I think he's an incredibly under-appreciated actor. (Plus, have you ever heard him sing? Check out the remake/spoof of Reefer Madness with Kristen Bell when you get a chance. You will not be disappointed.) And that speech that Ezekiel delivers to his mother about why he stole and how he's an artist, so he didn't care about keeping any of the stuff he stole. ::chef's kiss::

... And the Hidden Sanctuary (s4, ep8) Why? -- I think what I love most about this episode is the idea of Cassandra working alongside the little boy to solve the mystery as to why the town never has any accidents and seems so perfect. Usually it's Cassandra who would be the first to notice something is off, but it took the little boy to bring it to her attention. Which in a way reveals how the curiosity of youth is still as valuable as any other form of intelligence. Adding to that, a part of me wanted the town's councilman to get what was coming to him for trapping a fae. If you know absolutely nothing about the occult, witchcraft or ancient faiths, know one thing: Don't f*ck with the fae. I was ready for her to get her revenge, and I can't say that I blamed her at all. Seriously, kids. DFWTF.

... And the Happily Ever Afters (s2, ep9) Why? -- OK. I don't know what I love about this one. It's the precursor to the season finale, but I kind of wish they had stayed in this alternate reality for a little while longer. It was just so cute to see how each team member was living their idealized lives, but also working together as a team without even questioning it. Yeah, yeah, I wanted them to stop Prospero too, but I also wanted to see them go about these AU lives for a little while longer. Plus, I really liked David S. Lee's Moriarty. So much so that I was actually rooting for him and "Duchess" to stay together instead of her being in a relationship with Flynn. I thought Rebecca and David had more chemistry than Rebecca and Noah, frankly. But either way, I really liked this episode for pretty shallow reasons. I thought the resolution was a little too cheesy (the part about claiming your other/real life to the totem pole), but overall, it didn't take away from what I liked the most. Also, Christian Kane runs kinda funny. :-P

... And Some Dude Named Jeff (s4, ep10) Why? -- This is my absolute favorite episode of the entire series, and it bugs me that it's the 3rd to last episode of the entire series. It's like the writers gave me what I wanted most -- a Jenkins-focused episode -- and then said, "That's a wrap!" Sure, all good things must ... you know the rest. Then, I found out that Lindy Booth directed this episode, and now I love it even more. It really was perfection from start to finish, and we got to see John Larroquette do what he does best: Steal. The. Mother. F*ckin'. Show. He was hilarious at just the right moments; angsty and forlorn in just the right measure; and sincere and charming in just the right way. Granted, the villain seemed more scary in absentia than he did when he finally appeared on screen, but who cares? This was all about Jenkins ... and some dude named Jeff.

OK. I think that's all I have for this post. It's already hella-long. I thought I was going to share my top 10 favorite episodes, but it turns out the other 3 were really just ones I liked in terms of quality and execution, but I don't think I'll re-watch them over and over again like I would these 7 episodes I listed above. That, or I really just like those other 3 faves because of the scenes with Jenkins.

Alright, I'll leave dear readers be. But don't be surprised if I suddenly start reblogging a lot of old memes and posts about the show, especially ones that focused on Jenkins/Sir Galahad.

And probably an entire post gushing over Jenkins and John Larroquette in general. So yeah, watch this space.

[forsworned]

[♥] academyau! sweet like candy {teacher!giyuu tomioka x teacher!reader}

Genre: Fluff, Slight Sensual Themes

Categories: F/M

Relationships: Giyuu Tomioka/Reader

Word count: 1,599

a/n: really wanted to make this into a little series because i’m kind of obsessed with kimetsu academy i think it’s so cute and funny but anyway enjoy!,,, requests are open

➽────────────── ────────────── ──────────── ❥ 

Sometimes being a teacher was hard. You had to make your own lesson plans, grade all the work you assign and make sure your students are well engaged enough to get it and want to ge there. Which they both knew, they really didn’t want to be there. So like any teacher, [Name] would always try to make her lesson plans fun and not give monumental loads of homework assigments and papers. Especially since the biggest class she taught was straight out of Mr. Tomioka’s P.E. class and he absolutely worked them to the bone. 

[Name] sighed as she retired for the day after her last student left for extra help, and headed off to her favorite cafe to continue grading her papers. Not like she made them write a ten page essay or anything, but boy were these terrible. The headache already setting in as dragged herself out of her car and into her favorite coffee/tea shop.

The bell at the top of the door rang, signaling her presence as she made her way in. It was in that moment that she stepped through that her eyes grew double in size at the scene painted in front of her.

Mr.Tomioka sitting alone at one of the booths with possibly the biggest cup of green matcha ice cream, a dollop of whipped cream with the most cutesy sprinkle decorations. He was shamelessly stuffing his face as if it were his last meal. Melted green matcha melted from one corner of his mouth with sprinkles plastered on the other side. [Name] covered her mouth in complete and utter astonishment. She didn’t know whether to laugh, scream or cry.

Giyuu had felt as if someone was spying on him and low and behold, Miss.[Last Name] was peering down at him with the most bewildered expression on her face. 

“Hello, Miss.[Last Name]. Odd seeing you here.” He spoke nonchalantly as he took another bite of his icecream. Giyuu was completely unbothered by her presence, mostly because it was a teacher and not a student who had interrupted his gluttonous guilty pleasure. 

“I-I didn’t know you were such a sweeth tooth, Mr.Tomioka.” She stammered. [Name] really didn’t know how else to react to Giyuu just sitting deadpanned as he gazed up at her. It wasn’t too out of character for him since she had saw him munching on raisin bread on the staircase quite often. She made it a point to avoid him as to not embarrass him. His cerculean eyes bored into hers and it made her an ounce more self conscious. Did she have something on her face? Her teeth? Or worse a stain on her blouse?

“Yes, well, I do find myself coming here from time to time to relax after a long day at work.” His gaze shifted back to his mountain sized pile of icecream and took another large bite. She could’ve sworn he blushed as he did.

“You mind if I join you?” She asked almost timidly. Giyuu was intimidating to say the least. Well to [name] he was. His casual attitude always seemed to throw her off. He hummed in acknowledgement and she smiled as she slid in the booth across from him.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a lady friend, Giyuu-kun~” A server who seemed to show up out of nowhere sang as she set the spoon down with a napkin. Giyuu froze at his name being said so informally in front of [name] and she was just as shocked to hear it.

He didn’t say anything as the server skipped away. It was so quiet that if a pin dropped you could hear it.

[Name] couldn’t help the laughter that erupted from her lips as she watched as Giyuu sulked in shame. “G-giyuu-kun?”

“Fine, maybe I come here everyday.” He muttered as he took another bite. Now he was miserable, but [name] shook off his embarrassment. She didn’t want to make him feel bad in his comfort zone. 

“No, no. I was only teasing. It’s kind of nice that you come here and give this mom and pop your business.” She picked up her spoon and scooped a small part of the untouched side of his ice cream and hummed in delight when it reached her taste buds. Her tongue grazed across her lips and at the spoon again to lick it clean.

“Damn, that’s really good!” She cheered. Giyuu did not take his eyes off her lips for a single moment. He gulped his icecream too quickly causing him to have brain freeze. He groaned in pain as he held his head. [Name’s] expression quickly faltered into a state of panic as she watched his face contort in agony.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” The pain subsiding as he waved her off. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Just brainfreeze. Anyways, what are you doing here?”

[Name] sighed as she pulled out the stack of papers from her bag and placed them on the table. 

“Ah, essay season, I see. I saw Mr. Renguko with his stack earlier. He was buzzing right through them. Said they were all awful but he appreciated their ‘blazing’ efforts.” 

[Name] laughed melodiously and it made Giyuu’s ears perk up in delight. 

“That’s Mr. Renguko for ya, huh? Yeah, mine were pret-ty terrible, too. I don’t what’s gotten into them. It’s like every thing I teach goes through one ear and out the other.” Her spoon clinked against the glass again as she depressing grazed at the ice cream. 

“Well, it is almost summer break and you do teach the upperclassmen. They’re probably having a case of senioritis.” 

Giyuu mentally chuckled at thought of her upperclassmen students tripping over thin air when he asked them to run 10 laps around the gym. 

“Are you smiling?” It just slipped out of her mouth. She hadn’t intended to let it, but she honestly couldn’t help it. It was the first time she had ever seen him look--happy and it was undeniably cute.

“I was just thinking of my upperclassmen tripping.” He didn’t bother hiding his smile at this point and it was glorious. [Name] found herself blushing at how heavenly he looked. Giyuu had seemed to caught wind of her staring at him in awe, and cleared his throat.

“Sorry,” [Name] abashedly spoke as she looked away. “I should probably go and get these finished.”

She started to get up to dismiss herself and gathered her papers after shamelessly gawking at him. 

“You don’t have to leave. I could use the company.” Giyuu had worked up almost every nerve to let those words flow out. She was nonplussed at his words.

“Y-you sure?” 

“Yeah, maybe I can help with those papers.”

“I’d like that.”

[Name] smiled as she sat back down and he held out his hand to take the stack of papers from her hands. Giyuu’s face quickly twisted in contempt as he skimmed over the first paper. 

“This is ass.” 

Her eyes dilated at his choice of words and he realized that he let his guard down.

“I mean it is.” [Name] laughed loudly at his brash statement. She didn’t know he was such a clown.

“There’s like zero sentence structure and no punctuation. Also, they’re using run on sentences.” He pointed to the the first few paragraphs. Her eyes twinkled at his sudden sharpness. 

“Oh, you’re right! Thank you, Mr. Tomioka. I didn’t think you’d be so good at catching these mistakes.” Giyuu felt his face fluster at her flattering remark.

“Well, I did say I could help you.”

She gazed up from her student’s work to Giyuu’s ice cream coated lips. It didn’t make him any less dreamy to her because all she wanted to do in that moment was use her finger to lap up the remains and swirl her tongue around her finger. And for once [name] let her intrusive thoughts win. She murmured in delight. It tasted even sweeter coming from his lips. The look of disbelief on his face as the heat rushed to his face. 

“You’re sweeter than candy, Mr.Tomioka.”

[Name’s] face faltered along side Giyuu’s at the realization that she wasn’t living in her head, but that she had in fact, really done it. Giyuu wiped his mouth with the stack of napkins besides him, wondering how and why he deserved something so delightfully embarassing. 

“I’m so sorry--I”

“You should be.” He put his napkin down. “You could’ve told me that I had ice cream on my face.”

[Name] didn’t know whether she should have felt humiliated or not at that point. Did he just completely miss the part where she just indirectly licked ice cream off his face or...?

“So, back to the papers.”

“Ah, y-yeah. The papers!” [Name] scrambled for a moment handing him a small stack. “You work on these to start out and I’ll get started on these.”

Giyuu tried his best to dismiss the trembling from his hand as he took small heap from her hands. His heart beating out of his chest as he kept his cool demeanor from slipping. 

“We should do this more often.” He said it without thinking (head empty head ahhh).

[Name] visibly relaxed when those words left his mouth. She didn’t expect him to even help her, but now he was practically asking her to hang out with him more. She flashed him a big smile that made his heart skip a beat.

“That would be a big help, Mr. Tomioka. Thank you.”

He looked down to hide his agitated state.

“Don’t mention it.”

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[moonlight-breeze-44]

Leverage Finale.

Thanks to my friend @echo-bleu, I just finished watching all five seasons of Leverage. The finale was exceptional, and the entire show is so extremely important to me. I’m going to do my best to articulate what I want to say, but it may come out jumbled. I apologise if it does - but this is too important and too meaningful for me not to comment on. 

I started watching Leverage because Echo told me that it was the “original found family” and featured a borderline canon autistic character who was both badass and scripted extremely well. When I first started watching the show, I thought to myself: “What’s another favour for a friend? Maybe I’ll end up liking it, anyway.”

This may have been the biggest understatement of my life. 

Leverage is so important to me. It’s genuinely one of the most meaningful, impactful shows that I have ever watched, and its message(s) shine clear as day. 

Message #1: Family

The Leverage team is made up of Alec Hardison, an expert hacker with a huge heart and a desire to be surrounded by people he loves; Sophie Deveraux, an accomplished grifter with multiple identities who wants someone (or a group of someones) that takes the time to get to know the real her underneath all of the masks; Parker, an esteemed thief who wishes for a family that teaches her & helps her grow while loving her for who she is and respecting what she can do; Eliot Spencer, a badass hitter who craves to be recognised beyond the violence of his past and loved for who he really is and the heart he carries with him; and Nate Ford, an ex-upstanding citizen turned criminal mastermind who wants to see corporations like the one that let his son die be brought to justice, but knows he needs help to do it. 

Together, they make up a ragtag team of criminals that love each other and have each other’s backs in every situation. Together, they form the Leverage team. They form a family. 

Family is about love, about trust, about caring for each other and staying together even when things get rough. Family is Nate Ford, Sophie Deveraux, Parker, Alec Hardison, and Eliot Spencer from Leverage. 

Leverage teaches its viewers that not all family has to be blood. Some families can be found. This show, these characters, this family? It’s exactly what family should be.

Message #2: Hope

Leverage doesn’t just appeal to every person’s desire to stick it to the high and mighty. While that’s a big part of it, Leverage is also about so much more than that. Leverage is about finding a home in the most unlikely of places, among the most unlikely of people. It’s downright inspiring.

Leverage is about hope. 

Hope that it’s not too late. Hope that you aren’t too broken to be loved. Hope that you can have a home, a real home, the kind of home that you always dreamed of having. Hope that you can make a difference. Hope that you can achieve your dreams. Hope that you can love and be loved in return. 

Everything about Leverage is executed perfectly, and the hope shines clear through it all. In the midst of nothing, a gang of criminals found their something. They found each other. 

Nate tells Eliot in the season finale, “You know, I’d say to call if you need anything, but you - you never need anything.”

Eliot smiles at Nate and says, “Yeah, I did.” He looks back at Parker and Hardison, and the message is clear enough. “Thanks to you, I don’t have to search anymore.”

Sophie asks Eliot to promise her that he’ll protect them; keep them safe. 

Eliot says, “Until my dying day.”

That kind of devotion, that kind of love, is something that everyone dreams of. Some of us have it. Some of us don’t. But regardless, it is everyone’s dream to belong. Everyone wants to belong in a different way, and everyone sees belonging differently, but everyone wants people who understand them and cherish them like the characters of Leverage understand and cherish each other.

With this finale, Leverage is telling everyone who has ever wished on a star or prayed to an angel that their hearts aren’t foolish or naive for daring to hope. Leverage is telling everyone who has ever wished to be loved and understood that they can be. They will be. 

Leverage tells us that we’ll find our people, even if it takes us a long time, and when we do, it’ll all be worth it. 

Message #3: The OT3

Over the course of the show, Parker, Hardison, and Eliot’s relationship continued to be something that spoke to me and made me feel more seen and validated than I had felt in years. 

Going into this show, I heard from Echo and a few of my other friends that Leverage had an OT3 that was “as close to canon as possible”, but I’ll be honest with you - I didn’t believe them. 

All my life, I’ve been queerbaited and kept on the edge of my seat by TV show after TV show, waiting for some big reveal that never happened because the show producers didn’t care as much about my views as they did about the views of their audience that might be offended by it. It’s not something that I’m even bothered by, anymore, aside from the principle of it; this is just the way the world works, and I’ve learned how to enjoy TV shows despite it. 

Still, with that knowledge and experiences in mind, I didn’t go into Leverage believing that the OT3 would be this. 

The Leverage OT3 is so much more than I could have hoped for; all three of them “died” holding hands, and they said words to and about each other that are the equivalent of marriage vows in the real world. The OT3 is, genuinely, as close to canon as possible for a USA 2012 television series, and that is beautiful. 

I know I’m not the only person that has watched Leverage and felt this deep, emotional connection to the OT3. I know I’m not the only person that has watched Leverage and felt so validated, so represented, and to me, that’s worth everything. The OT3 was given time to develop, and the characters align perfectly with each other in ways that most of us never would have dreamed of a TV show doing. The Leverage OT3 consistently tells me and people like me that we’re loved, we’re valid, and they understand. We’re not alone. 

The fact of that matter is, regardless of how much evidence there may be of that on the Internet these days, it can be easy to feel like you’re the only one in the world that’s like you when it comes to relationships if you never see relationships like yours or the ones that you want to have onscreen at any point. It’s easy to feel like you’re weird or strange or wrong somehow for how you feel without representation, and Leverage, I think, knows that. 

Leverage casts light on and says I love you, it’s okay to anyone and everyone who’s ever experienced attraction to multiple people at the same time, who’s ever been in a poly relationship, who’s ever been in love with multiple people at once, who’s ever considered a relationship with multiple partners, and who’s ever realised that they are polyamorous. And that, my friends, is NOT representation that we get every day. 

This kind of representation is so rare, but Leverage did it. 

Leverage did so many things, and all in all, watching this show was one of the best decisions of my life. I finished watching with love in my heart and validation in my smile and beautiful characters sewn into my soul. I love this show. 

There are so many more things I could say about why I love Leverage and why I think it’s one of the best shows to exist ever, but then this Tumblr post would be as long as a dictionary. For now, I’ll just settle with saying this: 

Leverage is one of the most amazing TV shows I’ve ever had the honour of watching.