#anyway... weird post I know; just kinda what's on my mind
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OK. yes i will try to explain to the best of my ability. i love mindbound vrissy and i hope (not that kind) u will consider the possibility after this ramble.
i talked abt omega kids classpects a little bit in this post, including vrissy, but i realized i didn't rlly articulate the "why" for her, so let's try to do that now. i'll try to source stuff when i can. this'll be kinda long, so i'll put it under the cut.
we do know that vrissy HAS a (dub)canon classpect, so that's a start in looking at how she's been coded, at least. its highly likely she's going to follow in the classpect footsteps of her predecessor like the trolls have in the past, but i think taking (haha, cuz thief) vriska's class instead of the aspect would b a good subversion. i always think of how hsbc, especially candy, feels a bit off-- the pieces are there, but everything is just a little weird. and a great way to show that is in how ancestral titles work for the new generation.
hsbc page 465
when vriska suggests she use her thief of light powers, ik vrissy says she doesn't have "anything like that," but i think that's a bit of a red herring. vriska mentions the two of them having luck, and specifies her own classpect, but vrissy's reaction doesn't necessarily read as non-thief to me. i also think she might be over-exaggerating how different they are to avoid the comparisons.
hsbc page 463
to me it always feels like aspects are the primary identifier for homestuck characters; even when they haven't reached their full class potential or even godtiered yet, they are liable to view the world through their aspect. class is something that characters are less comfortable with expressing, and often they try to downplay their own class or even attempt to imitate someone else's for one reason or another. i don't agree w/ everything from od, but i think his roleplay theory is relevant here. classes are weird.
as stated, i think it's pretty obvious she's not a light player, but the way roach specifies she doesn't have thief of light powers, and that her powers are just a "little different" (countering vrissy's "anything like that" retort) leads to believe that the thief role is here to stay.
anyways, enough about thieves for now.
the mind aspect is weird. i mean, most of the aspects r weird one way or the other but mind seems to be fairly hard for even veteran classpectors to pin down (the ez didnt help, "remaining rational" is not the phrase id use for mind but whatever). a lot of ppl think mind is abt facades, but in one of my favorite classpecting docs tamago describes it as filters, deliberate ways of shifting one's appearance to other ppl for one reason or another.
hsbc page 60
^ this image isn't a citation for anything i just think it's a cute intro
everyone can act different around different ppl, but for the mindbound its something they r consciously thinking abt quite a lot... that is to say, mind players are often fairly concerned with how they come off, moreso than most other aspects. as the classic heartbound embraces themself with their whole chest, the mind player is deeply concerned w/ adapting their mannerisms to what's needed.
she has some of her ancestral namesake's insecurity, for sure, but also some of the tact and awareness that the original vriska seems to lack. when they first meet and vriska begins to waffle on about reality and nonsense like that, vrissy knows exactly what to say to snap her out of it. she picks up the vibe and adjusts.
candy 37
she can also see through vriska's bullshit just as quick. i love this line man. vrissy is rlly good at figurin out when someone isnt being honest w/ her, or w/ themself.
candy 37
after vriska checks in with terezi, vrissy also understands, w/o exchanging any words, that her ancestor needs distance. she's very perceptive, honestly.
hsbc page 57
the rest of their interaction has some mind-y elements as well. vrissy immediately accepts the nickname placed upon her (names and renaming are very mind-related, given the emphasis on the outer presentation of one's self)
for all of her teenaged hangups, she is hyperaware of the larger situation on earth c and the fact that... actions have consequences, basically. tavros is under the whims of the elder vriska, harry still thinks the clown escapade is a joke, vrissy knows the reality of what might happen to them
hsbc page 75
and she's very concerned with the Plan (her own capitalization). all about the plan with those mindfolk. she brings up consequences a few more times as they fumble the clown and hide, giving her much more of a level head than even the fretfulness of her kismesis tavvy.
you are right that running into an active warzone is not the behavior of someone very concerned w/ consequences, but i think that has mroe to do w/ her still needing to grow and develop than it does a dismissal of the mind aspect. even terezi had her irrational moments, n balancing out the opposing aspect is often just as important to a homestuck character's development as mastering their own (grimdark rose and void is a good example). so i definitely get where you're coming from but i think enough characters act "out of aspect" to justify it.
also i think vrissy becoming a sort of mind foil for vriska like terezi was as opposed to another light player would b cool. balancing out her rashness with some caution bc skaia knows she needs it.
there's probably also some tidbits during the vent escape shenanigans, but i've run out of steam to cover that w/ a play-by-play so uhh. yeah that's it
so well plenty of this is absolutely up for debate and her arc hasn't even gotten started rlly i hope at least some of this makes sense as to why i think vrissy could b a thief of mind. ok byeeeeeeee
Can anyone give me a good explanation as to why so many people think Vrissy is a mind player? Because to me it really seems like a completely random far-off guess than an actual simplification of her role and character.... After seeing so much of her dialogue I'm pretty sure consequences are the furthest thing from her mind especially when considering the fact that the last thing we saw her do was mindlessly run into an active warzone because her boyfriend and sister were one-upping her by doing some cool shit.
Like am I seriously supposed to think that the girl who trusted Harry Anderson to assist her in a plan involving bringing a celebrity's CORPSE into a SCHOOL would be the aspect commonly associated with choice, foresight and tact????? It almost feels as though the fandom is playing some elaborate prank on me and me only
#also stuff abt her more literally having mind control powers than vriskas which had a lot of limitations#and that one panel w/ the bg colors but then that wouldve made harry heart and tavvy breath so i dunno#anyways. sorry i took mutliple days to respond im insane#hsbc#classpect#long post
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Mhh... this isn't like meant as... some deep criticism of this or that, it's really just talking about my personal feelings on something. It's not saying what other people should be doing
For me though, I actually really don't like to be asked my pronouns. Not in a "you should just know" kinda way, but in a I'd literally prefer no one ask and get it wrong than ask me. Just kinda not something I feel like talking about... just kinda... don't like giving out information about myself and I'd rather people assume whatever they want
Again, nothing deeper here. Just saying that for me the time someone asked me my pronouns I just kinda dodged it, and when they asked again it was uncomfortable but gave em an answer. Thinking on this cause I saw a video where next to someone's name it listened their pronouns and it's like... cor blimey I wouldn't care for that, frankly even giving out my name to people is a bit much, innit?
More and more I just don't like giving away information on me. It's like some kinda fae mindset of like "not giving your name" or something, except for no concrete reason, just don't like mhh...
Maybe it's linked to how descriptivist I am. Like the number of labels I wear are next to zero. Don't really feel like identifying with this or that movement, rather let my actions and ideas stand on their own instead of under a banner, and so maybe it's like that with the pronouns
Like you figure it out mate, right or wrong I prefer that to saying
#in the spirit of not disclosing information I can't give details here#but this one time someone got something wrong about me was very flattering#cause I just listened well enough that they assumed we had the same lived experiences#they apologized but it was like... don't... I'm flattered I made you feel heard enough#...the kind of things that piss me off having people assume are like that I take psyche meds#not because psyche meds are bad; just... I'm doing my own thing and I'd rather you not treat that as the default#I'd rather you not... I don't know... that's a post all on it's own#like to be clear; love meds for people when they're helpful and work#I just have trouble even remembering to take a multivitamin; and I also feel like I'm almost coping ok#so... just don't feel like taking meds; and it's annoying having people assume that's the only way forward#anyway... weird post I know; just kinda what's on my mind
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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tbh the thing abt coming into myself vis a vis gender is that there is the realization that, at least for the foreseeable future, there is a very tangible (and already very present) “limit” to how far i can take. any kind of transitioning.
#and rn that current limit is ‘i genuinely do not know if i even want to breach this subject with my family’#like etc etc dont need family approval for everything. however.#i cannot/will not cut them off cold turkey#and anything else will be just as hard to explain#and also ngl coming out as a lesbian felt like emotional and psychological warfare with just my mom#while knowing that a few other family members were talking shit behind the scenes#idk if i can handle the emotional/mental/psychological turmoil of being trans in my family lmao#i have in mind like. 1-3 cousins who might be chill.#but it is outweighed by the near perfect confidence i have in my family to mourn the girl lmao#which like. brings on some weird retroactive guilt for ‘not knowing’ earlier#(better terminology for me personally is actually changing/coming into this person but. semantics)#just bc not that it would be any easier at any other age#but like. not easier later either!#anyways like. if i specifically renege on lesbian too than i am also setting myself up for some fuckery#bc i had to fight years ago to prove i was a lesbian#and now tbh i really don’t identify with that label anymore. it’s kinda just easy for strangers.#anyways idk what any potential transitioning looks like i just want to be different ASKDJFJSJFJD#i have been feeling vaguely dysphoric sad lately which also brings on like. a billion other sad/guilty emotions.#but alas! i am also just sad posting bc it’s been a hard week lmao
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OP of that music poll was joking but theres ppl in the notes who Arent and even more ppl in the notes who are like "i dont listen to anything past 2014!!" and thats mostly what i was pointing out as Also Weird. like its FINE. if youre enjoying the music like its literally fine like who give a shit. but it is also a little weird. possibly weirder than the op, who was joking, but im sure she also listens to music weird, bc who is fucking listen to music normal??
#toy txt post#define listening to music normal first. and it will reveal the way in which you listen to music Weird probably#and again: ITS FINE. VALUE NEUTRAL USAGE OF WEIRD HERE#the person in the notes posting 'reading comprehension questions' fair enough until you start asking 'what kinda posts is op usually known#for?' you are asking this as if i am intimately aware of op and recognize her url on sight and know exqctly what kind of post to represent.#all i know about her is that she is trans and got her blog nuked unjustly and remade. that doesnt tell me shit?#anyway. you ppl sending fucking hate anons to her and calling her dude are not weird youre just downright rude. chill#one its rude as fuck and you shouldnt do that to ppl. two youre certainly not going to interest her in your favorite songs#if i made a joke poll like that and got that many notes id stop listening to anything older than 2024 out of spite and hatred#they should really make it so you can turn reblogs on polls off#like if youre worried about ppl editing the contents of the poll to make it look like everyone wants to explode infants or something#just make it so the only part of the post you can edit is to turn reblogs off at least like godddamn#i have Normal Reasons for having this opinion. if you look into them i will explode you with my mind(this is a joke but also. do not bring#up the flowers)#joking about the consequences of it. not about not wanting it brought up. if you do that it will simply make me#annoyed and upset :)
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like whats actually edating
#mind obviously went back to dnf like my mind always finds it here i'm in the dnf blog if i wanted to make another post i'd probably not be#doing it here Um anyway LIKE what is an internet relationship. the existance of a diferent medium means that what we understand by dating#is completely lost theres just not whatever courting or predating medium that kind of exist for people when they date? it obviously cant#develop naturally because the situation isnt natural but nature is dictated by what we're living#and dream more than george is peak new generation of chrnonically online tens#who have a difficult time adapting to social etiquete and well he also is unluckiest man alive but we're not talking about that. When we ar#forced to reinterpret what it means to be dating someone like the weird shift to not-friends we Theorize dnf Maybe coudl've had#makes total sense because its just not a common situation in the slightless. having a mayor key point of your life (figuring out youre#actually queer) be the talk of the month by a thousan people that Know making a joke at your expense will bring them attention is fucking#traumatizing#and that shit is just normalized by the context in which it is enacted????? AND WE JUST LET IT?????????AND NOBODY PAUSES AND THINKS WOW THI#IS KINDA FUCKED UP???????'#Dating is both a normative concept and a experience: we know what dating entailsbut we never actually#know how someoene else experiences it because theyre simply not us and thus we just dont know lol . anyway i lost the thread#dnf weirdest edaters ever i'll defend you forever
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Man high school was fucked up. You ever think about that. Thank fucking god I'm not in high school anymore
#Sorry I need to turn a distraction video on or smth because my mind came back to#The very first experience I had of high school#And like my father had just dropped me off right. Yknow. Big massive new place I hadn't been before#And we went into an assembly hall right and my father called me like 5 minutes after#My phone was on silent and I took it out of my pocket for what. 5 seconds to dismiss the call.#Yknow a call from my parent who probably just wanted to make sure I got in okay#And in that 5 seconds a teacher just came over and took the phone off me#And then later on in the assembly the speaker was like 'We have a strict phone policy.'#'You're not allowed to use them outside of break unless explicitly asked' and the fucking.#Teacher who practically snatched my damn phone of me was like#'I have caught 5 students on their phones already. This is unacceptable behaviour in high school and you should already know'#Like. Holy shit I got it out for 5 damn seconds to dismiss a call from a parent who just wanted to make sure I was okay :sob: I was 12 yknow#Just something so. Fucked up about that. That's not a fucking expectation in the real world#Yeah don't be distracted by your phone while doing work in class but it was nothing like that :sob:#I'm willing to bet that most of the people who got their phone confiscated in that assembly were of similar circumstances to me#Yknow. Worried parents who just dropped their 12 year old off to a big unfamiliar place for the first time calling#You could've taught that lesson in the classroom if someone was actually distracted on their phone. Come on now#What Is with some fucking primary school and high school teachers having absolute power trips over actual children#Awful. I was thinking about it because my younger sibling has just gone back school#And their in their last year of primary school and they where telling me about like all the bullshit they're pulling#And I guess I just. Worry a bit. Because high school is genuinely a little bit fucking traumatic#I tell them all the time that most of the rules they set up in primary school and high school are kinda bullshit anyways#And to follow them simply to not get in trouble. But don't let them dictate how you act forever#Because you go through the whole of high school being told what to do by people who usually view you as a lesser being to them#And then you get to college and everything changes and it's gonna be weird as fuck finally being viewed as an equal#...especially if you're like me and engrained rules way too seriously#Sorry this is breaking the no emotional posting after 10pm rule but I think I can stand by this one#Okay I've made 6 begillion grammar errors I'm on mobile I can't change em#To everyone currently in high school: please fucking survive. It get's better. I prommy you#android.txt
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why is a kpop idol making me for real question if i’m aro
#🌙.txt#im so weird about him#anyway i’m gonna rant about my identity this post was an excuse for that#it has always annoyed me when people say that i just haven’t found the right person i could like#clearly if i had a crush on this guy i would still identify as aro bc i have never felt like that and probably won’t again#and if i like him it doesn’t really deny i’m still aro cuz i cannot imagine myself having a partner bc i just don’t like anyone#whenever i imagine having a partner i ended up thinking of said partner as more like an object instead of a person#bc i just don’t like the idea of kissing someone and having sex or having to be someone’s support or anything like that#i can’t comfort people and k don’t want to i don’t want that burden even with friends#it makes me uncomfortable and i dont plan on improving that sort of myself#at the end of the day being aro is simply not experiencing romantic feelings the same as the rest of the world#and i’ve never felt like that for anyone irl and won’t bc the more i know a person the less instreasted i am on them#and in this case with the idol i wouldn’t really call it being in love with him#bc i don’t think it is#for me it feels more like jealousy ig#i would love to be able to sing and dance and be on variety shows and have a group of people that seems close and shit like that#but bc i know i wouldn’t /actually/ have that life i ended thinking of being in that life through imagining myself as having a connection#to it in this case like wanting to have an idol bf and it doesn’t necessarily have to be him in my mind i guess it could be basically anyon#but i latched onto him bc i think he’s really beautiful and i would love to look like that but i would never be able to#my posts about loving him at the end of the day are kinda jokey bc that’s not what i feel for him it’s just weird complicated feelings#but the short way i can describe it i think is being in love
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Delilah's language (part two)
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"Tomorrow?" Danny repeated, glad he had set his cup down.
Mr. Wayne smiled, relieved Danny hadn't completely brushed him off. "yes, it's tomorrow. Damian, my son, is a huge conservationist. he gets it from his mother."
Danny blinked but before he could cut in, Mr. Wayne continued, "Oh! not that I don't care about the environment and stuff, it's just-"
"I get it," Danny reassured. he did not want to get stuck listening to Mr. Wayne try and fail to 'fix' his self-perceived mistake. "but I still don't really understand why you want me there..."
like sure, the kid's a fan of Danny or whatever (he was still trying to wrap his mind around that one.) but would the kid actually want Danny at his party? wouldn't that be like... he didn't know, weird? to just have this random guy from Illinois show up?
"Right!" Mr. Wayne coughed, scratching his face in embarrassment. "once Damian learned that the purple back gorillas would be in Gotham, I suggested we have his birthday party at the zoo. He told me he wanted to know everything he could about their species. so, I invited all the scientists working with the gorillas to the party so he could talk to them."
Danny nodded in understanding when Mr. Wayne glanced at him, even if Danny thought that that was the most fruitloop way he could have gone about it. then again, Danny's pretty sure all billionaires were fruit loops...
"He started digging into their history once he learned about them, and after some digging, he discovered that you basically saved their species. He has declared that he must meet you at all costs. something about needing to know their language?" Mr. Wayne trailed off, looking at Danny as if to see if he knew what his son meant.
If the kid was looking to Danny so he could learn the language then that meant he read the same paper Danny had. the scientists that had dedicated themselves to studying Delilah had printed one claiming that the purpleback Gorilla language was apparently hard to learn. (Even if Danny had been able to understand it pretty easily and told them so.)
they had listed Danny as the only person fluent in it so far, which now that Danny thought about it was kinda rude. they hadn't asked to put his name in there and now look at him! being visited by Fruitloops looking for him to be at their son's birthday parties.
anyways.
so, if the kid, Damian, read the same paper, he must have concluded it would be easier to learn the language from someone who was already 'fluent' than try and teach himself. (something Danny can't blame the kid for, but still.)
"KIDS!" Dad's voice bellowed from downstairs making Mr. Wayne startle and turn to glance down the hall. "IT WORKS! IT WORKS!"
...
"so, when do we need to leave?" Danny asked, all previous paranoia and reservations thrown out the window.
mr. Wayne slowly turned back, his brows furrowed in confusion. "we, uh, we'd have to leave in," he glanced down at his watch, his eyes widening a little, "an hour. I have to leave in an hour."
mr. Wayne then frowned as he looked back up at Danny, "I just need your parent's permission and you can come with me now, or I can arrange for another flight for you later tonight or early tomorrow?'
danny did not want to find out how they were going to test their new machine, so, he turned and cupped his hands around his mouth as he shouted, "HEY MA! CAN I GO WITH MR. WAYNE TO HIS KID'S BIRTHDAY PARTY?!"
it was silent for a second before she shouted back, "SURE! JUST BE BACK BEFORE WE LEAVE FOR OUR TRIP!"
oh, right. his parents had a trip planned for their anniversary. something about a huge ghost or demon trap in Wyoming they wanted to investigate.
"YOU'RE LEAVING TOMORROW THOUGH!" Danny shouted back, "DAMIAN'S BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW! I CAN'T GO IF I WANT TO BE BACK IN TIME!"
"OH! UH, THEN JUST BE SAFE! TAKE YOUR BLASTERS WITH YOU!"
Danny blinked, then shrugged. He could do that. turning back he found Mr. Wayne staring at the floor, his brows raised and furrowed in concerned confusion. Danny didn't know someone could make a face like that, but seeing as Mom had finally gotten Mr. Lancer to curse in front of him last year, it wasn't that surprising.
"let me pack my bag and then we can get going," Danny announced, standing up and grabbing his cup from the table, silently offering to take Mr. Wayne's as well. the man handed him his full cup and watched as Danny walked away.
well, at least Danny had already told the other ghosts to leave him alone for the rest of the week. they shouldn't get into too much trouble while he's gone. speaking of trouble, Mr. Wayne lived in Gotham, a place riddled with crime and violence.
dupping the cups into the sink, Danny turned and rushed up the stairs. unplugging his phone, Danny sent Sam and Tucker a text to let them know he wouldn't be in amity for the rest of today and tomorrow. he also let them know he'd keep them updated.
once done with that, Danny turned to his closet and rummaged around until he found his old backpack. pulling it out, he dumped the contents onto his desk and made quick work of packing his essentials. Clothes, phone chargers, and ectoplasm in case of emergencies. Mr. Wayne said he'd pay for the travel fair and hotel expenses, so Danny only needed to worry about food.
glancing in the mirror, Danny finally noticed he was still dressed in his pj's. he took a second to debate whether he really cared enough to get dressed properly or not before shrugging. Mr. Wayne's already seen him in them and they're comfy, no point in changing.
zipping up his bag, Danny tossed it over his shoulder and quickly ran downstairs. Mr. Wayne was walking around the room, studying a few of the leftover project pieces that his parents had left lying around. man, Jazz was going to be so annoyed once she learned they hadn't been picking up after themselves. again.
"Alright, Mr. Wayne. I'm ready when you are." Danny greeted, stepping into the room. the man turned to look at him, a strained smile on his face, "Just Bruce is fine."
"Alright, mr. bruce then." Danny agreed, gesturing for the man to start making his way to the door.
mr. Bruce heaved a sigh, shook his head in resignation, and turned to walk out the door. digging his keys out of his pocket, Danny turned to shout into the house one more time, "BYE MA, DAD! I'M LEAVING! HAVE FUN ON YOUR TRIP!"
not waiting for a response, he closed the door and locked it. turning around, he found Mr. Bruce studying him. lifting his brow in confusion, Danny started making his way down the steps and over to Mr. Bruce's fancy car. why the man had a fancy car when he said he'd be flying Danny didn't know, but he's pretty sure it has something to do with image or something.
Vlad did the same thing after all.
Next
#bruce was having trouble coming up with what to do for damian's birthday#then he remembered how excited he got when they found out the purple gorilla's would be in town#damian was tempted to follow bruce to amity#he wants to meet Danny and have him teach him the gorilla language#danny has no clue what's going on#danny is a genius#especially with languages#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#danny phantom#danny fenton#dcxdp#dp x dc crossover#batman#he's trying his best to be a good dad here#and well#yeah#part three coming soon#dead silent#but like they're both ace#because i said so#bruce didn't research more than a simple review of the Fenton's#he's regretting it now
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TYSM 4 THE DAISUKE HEADCANON, IT SO CUTE I WAMT TO SQUISH HIS CHEEKS SO BAD OMGGGWGWHAHAH...anyways. HUGGING/CUDDLING/SLEEPING, KISSING, PET NAMES/NICKNAMES HEADCANONS...AS IS WJAT ARE HIS FAVE ONES???? OR OMG LIKE JEALOUSY HC, OR TEXTING, AS IN IS HE A FAST TEXTER OR SOMEONE WHO REPLIES LATER? HOW WOULD HE WRITE AND DOES HE SEMD RANDOM THINGS OR LIKE THOSE SAPPY GOODNIGHT/GOODMORNING TEXTS?...hope it's not annoying🧍, also u dont have 2 write them all!! im just legit tweaking for that man🙏🧎😭
Pairings: Daisuke x F!reader
Warnings: slight mention of nsfw on the sleeping part, but in reality it's just what the other crew thinks :)) not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!
HC: hugging, cuddling, kissing and sleeping with our favorite boy!!
(A/N): DW I LOVE WRITING FOR DAISUKE!! I mean who ISN'T tweaking about that man😍 This is a bit boring but um yeah😢 I HAVE LIKE SO MANY REQUESTS FOR THIS MAN ALREADY IDK HOW I'M GONNA FINISH WRITING THEM ALL I'M HAVING A VERY BUSY WEEK BUT OH WELL!!
╰┈➤ This is like a part 1 btw since I'm gonna write EVERYTHING you requested because I'm crazy like that😁 -> m.list
-- part 2
★HUGGING
You can't tell me this man doesn't love hugs.
For short hugs, he's gonna quickly put a hand around your shoulder. Or maybe he'll just keep you in a quick embrace before letting go.
For longer hugs, he's going to keep one of his hands on the small of your back and the other on your upper back.
OR he's gonna just hold his arm loosely around your waist, it depends😋
Daisuke loves to hold you, that's a fact. He just likes being with you in general, he feels lucky af
★CUDDLING
Like I mentioned in another post, if you sleep in the same bed, you'll get cuddles every single night, I don't make the rules.
Daisuke doesn't mind if he's the big spoon or the little spoon, just CUDDLE with him
If he's the big spoon, he will keep you close, hold you to his chest, arms loosely wrapped around you, pulling you in.
If he's the little spoon, he's gonna curl up and let you spread out or whatever, you can even throw your leg over him he doesn't mind
He's probably gonna let you lay your head on his arm, but then he'll have that weird, tingly static-like feeling covering his whole arm
But he'd be too embarrassed to just pull his arm away, even if it hurts him, he just kinda lets you stay there since he doesn't wanna ruin your comfort.
He's usually the little spoon, he just likes being held and wrapped in your arms. He feels more comfortable that way.
But at the same time, he LOVES being the big spoon, because he feels like he's keeping you safe and secure from whatever difficulties or 'monsters' there are (jabortion)
I feel like his favourite cuddling position is Sweetheart's Cradle, he just prefers to hold you like that, it's easier for him and it's just 'so romantic' (his words not mine)
If you aren't aware of what that position is, google it because I have NO idea how to explain it mb gang😢
If he wants cuddles he's gonna nudge you and lay his head on your shoulder, and if you don't get the hint he's gonna trust fall on you
Lovely cuddles btw, he lives for them and he loves them so so much!!
★KISSING
Okay so he's whipped
Kiss him on the lips while you're passing by him and he's gonna be at your feet
He loves loves LOVES when you just place a small kiss on his forehead and tell him he did something great
I'm telling you I just KNOW this man would kiss every single inch of your body
He likes to kiss the back of your hand softly while doing something for you, he feels like you're a princess
That's right, you don't feel like you're a princess, he feels like you're a princess
I feel like he enjoys short kisses more than long ones, he prefers them quick idk🤷♀️
BUT he doesn't mind making out with you so um GO AHEAD😋
Daisuke probably would risk it and make out with you somewhere other than the bedrooms, but he'd be scared that you two would get caught. It's just the THRILL he feels when he does it that gets him going, yk?
PULL ON HIS HAIR WHILE MAKING OUT
He's gonna ask for reassurance to make sure he's kissing you goof enough
★SLEEPING
CUDDLES EVERY NIGHT
Omg SLEEP WITH HIMMMM
I feel like he loves having you play with his hair while whispering praises to him as he slowly drifts to sleep (who doesn't😢)
Daisuke will also just talk about his day while you're also falling asleep, listening to him rant and babble on and on about what he accomplished
I kinda think that at some point someone caught you two sleeping together and probably had other ideas
SWANSEA: He probably rushed to wake up Daisuke, since Daisuke usually kinda just sleeps in. He opens the door to reveal that the young man isn't in fact alone, but accompanied by another person. Swansea notices it's you and all of the sudden something clicks in his head, realizing why Daisuke would talk so much about you. He doesn't mind it, as long as you two are happy. Of course, Swansea at first thought you two did something, but he quickly reassured you guys that he doesn't mind as long as you two don't wake him up at night.
"It's fine, just stay quiet and don't wake me up at night. Don't make this a habit."
ANYA: She wanted you to help her with something, not bothering to knock on your door as she opened and took a look inside. She scanned the room, only to notice you laying in bed asleep with Daisuke. She thought it was sweet and cracked a smile, but probably also thought you two did something else. She felt guilty for invading your privacy and quickly closed the door. She didn't expect you to do such things, but it wasn't a surprise it was Daisuke who was next to you. She's gonna DENY that she opened the door to your room.
"Did you need something earlier this morning?" "What? No, I don't know what you're talking about..."
Jimbo has no reason to enter either of your rooms, and neither does Curly.
Anyways, Daisuke loves sleeping with you because that just makes time for extra cuddles. He doesn't mind if anybody says anything about that, he simply does not care.
Your room or his room? Good question. Both, both is good.
It's usually his room, it just feels better that way. Plus, he has a Gameboy and you two stay up at night playing or watching him play!!
Stays cuddled up with you beneath the blankets to keep you safe!!
He snores. Loudly. You either have to wake him up so he can shut up or you just get used to it.
Since he sleeps with his mouth open he also sometimes drools, BUT, he never managed to drool on your sheets so I guess that's fine😣
He's fine omg
JUST SLEEP WITH HIM IN ANY WAY HE'S GONNA LOVE IT!!
★yoyomiko ★miko
#x reader#reader#reader insert#f!reader#fem!reader#female reader#mouthwashing x reader#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#daisuke x you#daisuke x female reader#daisuke x reader#daisuke x y/n#mouthwashing daisuke#daisuke#daisuke headcanons#mouthwashing headcanon#daisuke hcs#cuddling#hugging#kissing#sleeping#x you#x y/n#character x reader#★yoyomiko#★miko
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Okay no but i keep thinking about this cos it confuses the hell outta me
Like his hair is perfectly shooting upward & is not blurry at all. So like unless he moved perfectly up & got a real good shot where his hair isn't moving, he'd be upside down right?
But the how the hell is his necklace not falling down either??? Like maybe its stuck into the mesh shirt but like the chain doesn't even look like its hanging down at all?? Also the shirt itself doesn't look like its hanging off him either really. Unless its just the material is really stuck onto the crop top & pants maybe?
What the fuck is happening in this photo man I'm losing my mind
Wait I just started thinking about why his hair is so high up
Is he upside down??????
#the shirt *kinda* looks like its hanging off him in some parts? but i cant tell of its him or the wall behind him#BUT LIKE THEN WHY IS THE NECKLACE DEFYING GRAVITY???????#[ha Wicked reference]#Unless its just really caught into the shirt???#there's parts of the shirt that look like its hanging down but some part look like its hanging he other way???????#what the fuck is happening#am i stupid??? probably but that's besides the point/j#im so confused man#please tell me im not crazy & like this photo is weird#KJ is looking too deep into things again#its that damn funky jash fit all over again#moss post#i was looking at the photo cos i was drawing the fit ya know#and im just losing my mind again#anyway. i have the drafts of the drawing on my alt if any of y'all wanna see it
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Was thinking of the terrible dad captain marvel post when my brain went
What if they (incorrectly) believe that the kid’s other parents are gods? (Or possibly Black Adam)
Flash: “Look, I’m just saying that the little purple one is probably Hermes and his kid.”
Marvel: *walks in the room* “Hey guys! What are you talking about?”
GL: “About how you have like five baby daddies.”
*silence*
Marvel: *looks scandalized* “…What?”
Flash: “About how you have five baby daddies.”
Marvel: *speechless for a solid minute* “Where did you hear that from???”
GL: “No one, but you kinda implied it, man-”
Marvel: “When did I do that?!?”
Flash: “Look, just- You’re not slick. Anyways, right now we’re just trying to figure out who exactly are the five. I’m guessing Hermes is a little purple one’s dad.”
Mercury: *doesn’t know whether to laugh or be offended*
GL: “And I’m guessing that the little gray ones dad is Zeus because he always messes around with lightning and technology.”
Meanwhile in Olympus…
Hera: *suspicious* “Something just happened…”
Back at the Watchtower…
Zeus: *retching sounds*
GL: “I have no idea about the other three though. Like who’s the green one?”
Mercury: Billy, say Huītzilōpōchtli. I want a shoutout for my boy.
Marvel: *appalled* “I AM NOT SAYING THAT.” *is talking to Mercury*
Flash: *thinks he’s talking to them* “Okay, okay, damn. No need to get so worked up.”
Marvel: “I wasn’t- never mind. What made you think? I have five different baby daddies??”
GL: “Dude all your kids look different, all you really need is a pair of eyes to see that.”
Marvel: *confused as to why he said “your kids”* “Wha?”
Flash: “By the way, who are Junior and Mary’s too? Mary looks a lot like you, so did you do that weird thing where gods that are siblings get together and have kids?”
Marvel: *somehow even more appalled* “Oh my Gods, no??? That’s fucking disgusting!”
Flash and GL: *share a look because Marvel rarely curses*
GL: “Well, that’s good then but still, who are all their parents??”
Marvel: *scrambling to pull something out of his ass so he can end this conversation* “I- uh- they don’t have parents!”
Flash and GL: *confusion*
Marvel: “Yeah! They spawned a little bit after me from the Rock!”
GL: “How long was a “little bit after?” You look old enough to be their dad.”
Solomon: ‘The ability for champions to share their powers with others came into existence around 120 thousand years ago. Just say that, Billy.’
Marvel: “Well, i’m like 200,000 years old and they came to existence like 120,000 years ago.”
GL: “Jesus, I forgot how old you guys are.”
Flash: “Dang, so you’re not their dad.”
Marvel: “No! If anything, we’re siblings!”
Flash: “I guess I could see that making more sense.”
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having a crush on you
summary: how they would act having a crush on you type of post: headcanons characters: pomefiore (vil, rook, epel) additional info: reader is yuu, reader is gender neutral, rook is rook, not proofread, hi I'm insane and I love pining, I NEED to write another fic but with rook. might write this same prompt with other dorms
𝐕𝐢𝐥 𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐭
don't take his calm and collected facade as apathy
he's slowly losing his mind about this
"pacing back and forth, mumbling to himself, falling asleep thinking about you" kind of losing his mind
it's my personal belief that Vil hasn't been in love before this
hasn't even really thought about it
so when you enter the picture it kinda throws him off balance
and with the exception of Rook, no one can even tell
he is an actor, after all, he can play the part of "totally platonic friends with room for Jesus"
(maybe a little too well)
but Vil isn't entirely emotionally repressed
he keeps things to himself, yes, but he's quite conscious of his own wants and needs
so when he realizes he's been craving your presence more than usual he does acknowledge it
in his head
and then does nothing about it for months
...what? he's busy
things like this can wait for him, and he doesn't want to put a rift between you two in case it might be a passing feeling
well... it doesn't pass
he becomes keenly aware of how much he wants you around him, how much he thinks about you, how much your very presence is enough to make him happier than he's ever... really felt
and you know what?
he is totally cool about it.
just kidding. he drives himself insane trying to think of the perfect way to confess, something that will impress you and meet his standards
he's dropping hints left and right and you don't seem to be picking any of them up
which again, just makes him crazy
(some days he really wants to ask you how oblivious one person can be, but he restrains himself)
I mean, how many times can he send you red tulips before you finally get the hint? he's practically spelling it out for you!
there is... a tiny, little part of him that worries you don't reciprocate
is he not your type? are you interested in someone else? perhaps he'd been too harsh on you, after all...
the fact that one little potato can make him so worried absolutely drives him mad
he is the vision of poise and grace and you are ruining him
and this sort of mood comes and goes in waves
just when he thinks he's pulled himself back together, you'll smile at him or say something cute and suddenly he's back to square one
(you're so adorable it's annoying -_-)
while he's sorting out a good way to express his feelings properly, he'll be spending all his free time with you
you need some new things? he'll be glad to take you shopping
you came over to see Epel? oh, well, he's not here, but you should stay for some tea, anyway!
your afternoon is free? he has some new lip gloss he's been dying to test out...
𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐇𝐮𝐧𝐭
contrary to popular belief, I don't think Rook would be so open about it
he still compliments you, of course, and sings praises of your beauty and elegance, and has little regard for personal space, as always
but he's like that with a lot of people, so it's hard to really tell when he likes someone
the truth of the matter is that Rook Hunt can be just as reserved with his feelings as anyone else
when he really, really likes someone, he keeps it to himself
why?
he's hunting you he's learning more about you before making his true feelings known
he feels it's necessary to have an adequate amount of information on his target before making a move, after all
for reference: you catch his eye at orientation, and do not have a single conversation with him until after winter break
(of course, after that, you start mysteriously running into him everywhere)
is he kinda weird about it? uh. yeah.
this is Rook we're talking about
on the other hand, he's completely lovesick about you and it's almost cute
he's definitely the type to write your initials in a journal with a glitter pen while kicking his feet back and forth and giggling
seeing if you would sound better with his last name or he with yours...
definitely has a very weird photo collection of you somewhere in his room
along with stacks of poems, pressed flowers, and little gifts he intends to give you once he's won you over
(when, not if. Rook is nothing if not patient)
you may find a rose left outside Ramshackle every so often
or a few cans of tuna for Grim
all while acting like the same old eccentric Rook, no discernable difference
except when you can feel his eyes on you at random places in the middle of the day
Ace and Deuce call you paranoid but you can't shake the feeling
though, every once in a while he'll get a little grumpy
Rook is easily jealous, and while that sort of possessiveness never extended to untouchable idols like Vil and Neige, he's already decided that you're his prey
and he'd kindly ask everyone else to find their own, thank you
he hasn't exactly planned the confession yet, but just know it's probably going to be the sweetest and craziest you've ever heard
𝐄𝐩𝐞𝐥 𝐅𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐢𝐞��
first of all he's going to fight you for making him like you so much
second of all he's going to beg for a chance
maybe not in that exact order
Epel is constantly at war with his own emotions and having romance thrown in the mix is. uh. not optimal
not only does it ruin the stoic, strong male persona he's been trying to build, but it's also making him feel all soft and gushy
suddenly he cares about looking nice
(much to Vil's approval)
and now he wants to do nice things for you?
he's gonna bite you
how dare you make him think about kissing and holding hands!
don't you know he's supposed to be above all this romantic stuff? what is he, Rook?!
then, after his initial temper tantrum, he starts coping. hard.
he might be able to stomach the idea of being an item if he gets to wear the pants in the relationship
...yeah, right? right.
if you let him be the man, if you let him protect you...
he might be okay with it!
obviously he starts trying to show off his manly strength (seriously) every time he sees you
starts making comments about how tough practice was on him
will literally never let anyone else carry anything for you ever again
he even provides for you (in payments of apple juice)
obviously this backfires 'cause the second you do something that gives him butterflies he's back to giggling
(you'll have to ease him into the idea of being soft and romantic together, but he'll get there)
but, to his credit, he'd be the first out of all the above to confess
super suddenly and out of nowhere (and he ends up shouting it cause he didn't want to sound chicken) but it's sweet in its own way
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#rook hunt x reader#epel felmier x reader#queued
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He Can Match Your Freak | Asmodeus Selfie Spoilers
OKAY sooo FINALLY I'm posting this lol it's probably going to be like two parts maybe??? Let's see how this goes because I'm learning to not post thousands of screenshots unless it's relevant.
First. I'm skipping the prologue because most have seen it, and I'm doing a different thing with that anyway.
SOOO it's gonna be a crash course ya'll with jumping right in when MC is in his room about to get them cheeks clapped.
He wants to know more about MC because of what he's heard and well he wouldn't be wrong here. MC apparently is quite the deviant. And you can tell the writers tried to describe him as majestic and breathtaking as possible because the way MC sees him is similar to how they see Leviathan.
Until they said this mess.
G I R L WH A T
Even Asmo was like ???? But he has a sense of humor so he just laughed it off which I mean okay yes as if he would care about that phrase being weird.
But MC out here actin' up once a g a i n. lol
But also they mention his body odor keeps wafting over in MC's nose clearly yeah because not only them pheromones' but uh anyways we'll get to that part later
And MC was just like covering their nose and is like "this is dangerous" and for me ya'll?
I'd be afraid to offend him by saying he smells ripe which I'm sure he wouldn't be offended because I'm not sure what would offend him at this point in time.
So big boi puts a sigil on MC's body similar to a womb tattoo which is why he said "be surprised you aren't pregnant" but this symbol makes you into his "female" no matter the gender. He goes to say it nicely that you're his "virgin" though.
And with that, most of what's happening is that MC is feeling the effects of Asmo without him even doing much of anything just yet. The feelings of having climaxed multiple times over, hazy, losing your goddamn mind.
That sort of thing.
Baby I would have cried on the spot. What do you mean be your companion?
Yup he asked MC to not only be his one night stand but to basically be his and that he thinks he could fall in love with them.
He says that he can fall in love at first sight despite his reputation. And also he mentions MC is his third love. First was Solomon (rejected him and wouldn't tell him who it is he was in love with) and two his late wife who was a witch and it's their children/descendants who are the Unholyc that inhabit Earth.
I'mma be honest with ya'll I didn't finish Lovely Unholyc because I was mostly interested in William, there was no route for him at that time so I just kinda dipped, tried again and then dipped lol
oh btw he apparently just straight up wanted to yap about him clapping Solomon's cheeks and getting his cheeks clapped back and how many damn positions they did and I'm trying to wrap my head around what the fuck they did because at one point surely they were on the ceiling or floating mid-air, like I don't even know
But his wife who chose to live on Earth and grow old and die normally put a curse on his soul. He can love and fuck whoever he wants and should never be lonely but he can't have any more children. If he does, they die, and he dies along with the partner he made them with. (the fall of the house of usher vibes)
AND let me just say? That woman did the world a favor because he has a breeding kink. We'd have a whole universe full of little Asmo halflings running around. So either it was her being possessive or just her sparing the world of that burden then yeah thank you for that because phew.
i don't need no babies anyways
And he says the same thing like "Oh we can leave other things other than babies, like photos of us in a mess" meaning he really meant when he said he wanted to participate in the contest.
I mean he would have won so I think it's fair to give the others a chance. Lol
So things are getting hot and heavy now and he's wondering why MC is holding back. Honestly I'm like huh he did say that he turns you into a virgin and not everyone is confident when being presented with the chance of a lifetime to fuck the embodiment of lust.
But at the same time I mean...MC this is your element and you are pretty much striking out. (not to him but to me you are)
SO I complied all of these because this is important. Asmodeus is literally combining all of their philias and using them on MC and he's quite good at it. And well, why wouldn't he be?
And he even goes to strangle and lick up MCs tears?
Yeah we know what he's about.
His tongue did what now?
his tongue did what now
his tongooooooooooooo
Anyways I short circuited there because everything about him is just driving me nuts.
MC even said they were coming by him just kissing them and I'm like hold up??????
I fucking bet.
Okay ya'll picked the nastiest ass stuff for him to mention but I get it. Congrats if ya'll have things you're self conscious about during sex Asmo's your demon because he literally won't care and will still be turned on.
Ayo.
Moving on....LMAO
And uh...Asmo was licking MC's snot and spit off their face and they came again.
I'm drowning in a sensory nightmare why is he so h o t but this is nastttyyyyyy
"I can always go hard whenever I feel like fucking the opponent"
Sir what? He just be sayin' anything
But he does ask MC what do they want...and they just smack the fuck out of him so there's that. Lol
I would tell him I'd very much like that mouth on the kewchie. I don't even need anything else just his mouth. His jaw probably can go for days.
Now MC is making deduction here that Asmo is the king of lust and seduction and can pass this feeling on to others. He's dangerous this way.
Now Asmo how do you know that.
Tell me sir HOW (I think I know the answer....but I'd be hella surprised that Belphie would let him hit unless he was watching him...)
But mostly what's happening is that MC is feeling what Asmo feels basically the same spiel as the other kings except with him it's intense to the point where they are quite literally about to pass the fuck out. And Asmo ain't about to stop momentum so you better stay awake MC.
NOW YA'LL.
Bullet point times:
MC has climaxed pretty much several times and they haven't even fucked properly yet
But wait, their clothes are off and....
Bam they notice that Asmo's cock is pretty much halfway in their hole and they haven't even noticed
All he did was push himself to the hilt and MC squirted ya'll
So there's that.
But the womb tattoo is doing it's job because now the climaxes are back to back, and I'm just wondering how the hell MC is still mentally there because I'd be a babbling mess.
Yes daddy.
he makes me SICK (lovingly)
But also they mention the liquid he was feeding MC had a horrible smell and I'm just like oh fucking gawd please get rid of my sense of smell before sleeping with him because I would not make it. Why is everything having to do with him smell so much? LOL
LMAO
MC was begging for his dick and Asmo is like, baby it's already in are you okay?
I'm crying
Yeah remember those memes about people getting high and saying they were vacuuming the dishes?
I imagine that's what it's like having sex with him. One minute you're on the bed next you're in another dimension, floating, transcending, melting, legs bent in impossible shapes. Indeed I am mopping the lawn.
He even mentioned they've done it like six times already and he's just getting started.
with a face like that? phew.
Oh so he does have a good pull out game.
btw the visual for that???? GAWDDDDDDD -> look here
So let me back up a bit and mention that MC was feeling insecure that since they have been doing it for quite some time (2 days I think?) they thought he wasn't satisfied. Nah he was just savoring the moment. He could come at any time. ANd when he does? It's alot and from his horn and everything. Cum fountain.
And best part? No refractory period. He's already hard and slamming that thang back in.
Also he mentions here that there's a smell, and he's getting really worked up.
Yeah he's tearing that up. Like it's overtime ya'll.
There's purple smoke and a erotic aura in the air, he's grabbing and biting down on the back of MC's neck to claim them? Oh he's going in.
Alright here we go.
And just so ya'll know...sorry male MC players....the same line is used in ya'lls version too. No change.
This is the point where I would of preferred perhaps something else be said entirely instead. I know the majority of players are women/non-men but...I can see someone playing and getting side swept like?????
But anyways let's move on past this point
Until the room stank is an understatement.
But anyways, while MC is trying to somewhat calm down, Asmo is still trying to keep the momentum. And MC starts trying to have a normal conversation and figuring out why devil's fear him the most.
But also mentioned they wanted to shove his nasty, greasy, bodily fluid covered hair up their hole. E x c u s e the fuck outta me?
AN Y W AY S
Mc figures that the reason the devils fear him is because of this. Imagine falling for someone like this? Who is nothing but the sole reason existence of lust and temptation where you could fuck for hours and reach pleasure centers unknown and yet have that all be taken away when he leaves? There's no love? No sweet nothings? Just being used up and tossed without any direction and you're just in the dark?
welp.
But Asmo does offer MC some comfort
He tells them that he's back in Hell so he will be around more often. It won't be painful, that it's okay to start slow and that MC would wait for him when he's ready to fully accept his feelings. He could fall in love with them not that he was already in love with them. But with how he's considering him as a companion, how he's biting and claiming them, the amount of time he's spending with MC.
mind you he left Phenomenon on the floor the moment he entered the meeting room so I imagine they weren't fucking for very long at all. I imagine all of his sessions with others are "quick" and for those he really likes they last longggg like days.
Not mention he on that yandere vibes....telling MC he'd lock them up in a cage but he'll deal with it for now.
And apparently when he gives a sincere command, it must be followed. So MC basically ends up getting dressed, not whining about leaving, and all that good stuff. A true dom in that sense.
Also he mentions that when he's nearby MC will just get turned on automatically. "Your body will scream that your man is here"
why is that so hot?
So MC is back in Gehenna and this is when Asmo starts reminiscing about Solomon who predicted that he'd see MC in the future and that he would know that he feels at the moment for Solomon is not 'love'.
I wonder if Asmodeus was just helplessly losing himself for Solomon, and pepaw clocked that and was just telling him to chill on it for a bit. Although it is fucking WI L D to me that he is going to try this again with his friend's descendant..."hey I'm a friend of your grandpa...soooo yeah let's fuck and fall in love"
Sounds weird when I put that way huh? lol
Also since we're at the end I'd like to highlight some personality things about him!
He plays too much: Taking a photo of himself and MC sleeping and sending it to Satan knowing he'd storm immediately to the room
He doesn't have self doubt, he is very much full of himself but is considerate of his partner given the circumstances
He is not into aftercare, he claims that part is included during the sex, if sex is over then it's over
He doesn't shower ya'll. Like at all. But he oddly keeps his nails clean and that's about it? He seems to be obsessed with sex funk
He really likes Mammon. Like a lot. But he does that thing where he's like "Nah I want him to want me so I won't give him what he wants" lol okay
He fucks pillows, pretty much inanimate objects if he feels like it
He has a sense of humor
Romance is not absent, it's just tricky for him since all that's all his brain is "breed breed breed breed sex sex sex breed breed breed oh lets pause for a break sex sex sex kissing sex sex breeding biting"
He loves his children though. He really is a fatherly devil. He beams about his kids and this is a moment where you can catch him not being sexual
It comes to no surprise that he doesn't like the idea of sharing his favorite person but it has me think that his style of relationship is that he's monogamous but if you want to occasionally bring someone to "play" with he won't mind as long as it's discussed and he gets to fuck them too
He's got a one track mind, but it's not like he can't carry on a conversation
Now for my
T H E O R I E S
Asmo is older than all of the kings, but younger than Lucifer
I am reaching in the dark but it seems the only King he's had sex with or has watched have sex is Belphie
He's only in love with MC because he's taking a opportunity that wasn't given to him with Solomon
There's most likely a loophole to his curse that his late wife left on him but he simply chooses not to break it
If the Kings fight together along with Asmodeus, the war would be over, and if we ever get a final battle chapter it's going to be MC who is the missing "key" and the one who figures that out is Asmo because he spent so much time with Solomon
We may get a cameo from one of his children in the story
Asmodeus is possibly capable of lying and just hasn't revealed that to anyone. I say this because if he was one of the very early devils created he is the exception to the rule. So there could be some secret he knows.
BUT wow it seems that I have compiled ALL of this into one post. YAY FOR ME. Now there may be more little blurbs popping up as I remember them but for nowwwwww~ Thank you for reading, hopefully you grabbed some snacks, and ya'll are amazing. Feel free to let me know ya'lls thoughts if you haven't said already on our stinky hot devil man <3 lol
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DO YOU DREAM OF ME? - c.hs
the first time you kiss your soulmate, you’ll open your eyes to a world of colour. the problem? vernon hates the thought that he might pull away from you and still see in monochrome. or, five times he wanted to plant one on you, and the one time you beat him to it.
pairing ; vernon x gn!reader. content ; all the tropes. 5 times fic. soulmate au. slight college au if you squint. f2l. fluff, some angst. pining. one (1) hint of suggestiveness if u squint. MINORS STILL DO NOT HAVE MY CONSENT TO INTERACT. content notes ; mentions of reader having a(n unnamed) partner & thereafter, going through a breakup due to said partner cheating. reader is maybe implied to be shorter than him but hopefully not too obviously or frequently. alcohol is mentioned & is a key theme in scene #3. pov switch for the final part (necessary for logistical reasons.) PLEASE let me know if i've forgotten anything. w/c ; 9.6k note ; welcome to thee most self indulgent fic ever lmao. i hope u enjoy this slight break away from what i usually post here (as if my entire brand isn’t writing losers in love. ANYWAY) -- this was very fun and a little bit special for me! <3
“What was your first kiss like?”
Initially, Vernon swears he just didn’t hear you right. It’s dark up here, where you’re hiding away from a party on the roof of his university accommodation and he’s starting to get tired. There’s some sort of siren wailing away in the distance to his left, and on the street below, a gaggle of freshmen are cackling as they walk past the building. His ear closest to you is currently listening to your favourite song.
All the signs suggest that he simply got it wrong.
But he doesn’t know if he believes those signs, especially not seeing as when he looks over at you, you’re staring pointedly up at the stars overhead. He doesn’t doubt that you’re giving yourself an ache in your neck in the process, too.
“Hmm?” He asks, taking out the earphone that connects him to you. The other one is still nestled away in your ear and he reaches to gently pull it away. “What was that?”
You still don’t look at him, but you do repeat yourself. Quietly. “What… was your first kiss like?”
“Oh.”
He was right.
“You don’t have to tell me,” you hurry to say, hugging his jacket tighter around yourself to block out the cold air that blows across the rooftop. He shrugged it off and told you to take it the very moment your teeth started chattering — almost an hour ago now. His arms are bare, shoulders and biceps only covered by a t-shirt so thin it’s practically sheer, but he isn’t cold. He’s always run hotter than most. “Sorry.”
He nudges you with his knee, silently telling you that you don’t need to apologise. He doesn’t mind — you just caught him off guard; Vernon hasn’t given this any thought in a long time, and he has to really put his mind to coming up with an answer. It was forever ago — when he was eleven or twelve, maybe, with his first ever girlfriend. They dated for a whole two and a half weeks. He doesn’t know if it really counts: the kiss was a dare, after all.
“Kinda…” He starts, trying to follow the line of your sight, wondering if he can find the exact stars you’re looking at. “She’d just put this weird lipgloss on. It was real tingly. And like, neither of us knew what we were doing? So it… got everywhere. I think I ended up swallowing some, I don’t know. My mouth felt weird after. Thought I was having an allergic reaction.”
You laugh softly at him. “I think that would put me off for the rest of my life,” you say.
“It almost did,” he chuckles. You hum at him and lean back on your elbows, leaving Vernon more than a little bit confused. He readjusts his hold on his knees, bringing them closer to his chest as he tilts his head down at you in your new position.
“…why?” He asks, just as you close your eyes and take a deep inhale of the cool air.
You just shrug. “I guess I just… wondered.”
He nods, and it’s his turn to fall short of a response, but that’s okay. You’ve known each other for too long for these silences to feel uncomfortable. He grew up with you. In fact, he’s reasonably sure he’s told you this story before. He must have done.
Then he realises, maybe he hasn’t. Because he doesn’t know the story behind yours, and maybe that’s just a line the two of you never came to crossing. He knows he told his other friends, back then, because he was the last one in his circle to have a first kiss and he felt like it made him more grown-up, or something. Naturally, he left out the more embarrassing details. But maybe you just told your other friends who weren’t him, and went on with your life. Maybe yours was just… normal.
Either way, he’s interested now. And there’s no time to ask like the present.
“What was yours like?” He asks, fiddling with the strap on his wristwatch. You don’t answer straight away; he doesn’t think anything of it, because neither did he, but when he’s still waiting for you to speak a small eternity later, he prompts you again. “Hey, it can't have been worse than mine.”
You snort.
“You’ll laugh at me,” you say, shaking your head. Vernon furrows his brows and drops his legs flat, twisting to one side to look at you.
He doesn’t know where you’d get that idea from, but he’s… almost a bit offended by it?
“No I won’t,” he tells you softly. Maybe at first, he might’ve laughed with you, if your story happened to be as dumb as his own. But not at you. Never at. Not when he’s been the butt of the joke in too many friendship circles, for about as long as he can remember.
You take a shallow breath, pursing your lips. “Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not…” you start to say, before you clear your throat and try again, this time heading in a different direction. “I don’t know. It’s dumb, I guess.”
“Don’t make me come down there,” Vernon threatens playfully, poking you in your side. You squirm, giggling despite yourself, despite the serenity of the sanctuary you two have found, despite the fact that you, too, were on the edge of falling asleep before your question came out of nowhere.
He pokes you again, and again, and then starts to tickle your ribs instead. You squeal, swatting his hands away to no avail and you move to sit up, grabbing him by the forearms to physically make him stop. The grin on Vernon’s face is wide and heart-shaped. A warm feeling spreads through him: it has everything to do with the sweet sounds of your slowly dissolving laughter.
You sit cross-legged across from each other like this for a moment or two. Your knees are touching. Your hands move down his arms until you’re holding him firmly by the wrists. Your eyes lock together: his crease with the sheer force of his boyish smile, while yours are narrowed, daring him to try and wiggle free and attack you again.
He doesn’t, but for the first time ever, he’s struck with the urge to do something maybe more scary.
The urge to just… lean in to you.
It makes his heart do a backflip, in a way that it hasn’t done since he had his last crush. His head goes empty, and he forgets what he was even asking you before: the only thoughts he can muster are ones regarding what your lips taste like, whether they’re half as soft as they look, if you’d lightly touch his shoulder or his arm or his chest or his cheek—
Do you smile when you kiss?, he wonders. Do you sigh? Do you—
“I’ve never kissed anyone,” you answer, looking away now and letting go of him. He’s gone so loose in the moments since you grabbed hold of him that when you’re not supporting their weight, his arms fall like two cinder blocks onto his knees.
True to his word, he doesn’t laugh. He’s surprised by your revelation, sure, but in no way humoured; actually, he feels a little saddened by it, for a reason he can’t put his finger to. He ends up not saying anything, just biting the inside of his cheek; he wants to ask why, but knows maybe that’s a bit of a dick move, and if it’s something you’re sensitive about he doesn’t want to risk hurting you.
But he’s watched people fawn over you for years, and he doesn’t think you’ve ever been short of attention from those who have thought you were attractive. So it can’t be that you’ve been lacking in chances? Surely?
“I thought… maybe I should save it,” you go on to explain. Your hands keep busy by playing with a thread at the cuff of his jacket sleeve, wrapping it around one finger until the skin beneath it pinches before you unravel it again.
“Save it?” He asks. You nod your head.
“For when I thought I’d found them.” You pause, swallowing hard. “Like I said, it’s s—.”
“No it’s not,” Vernon says abruptly, shaking his head. He holds onto you now, one hand slipping around your back until it rests on the shoulder furthest away from him. You scoff. He squeezes you into his side. “Hey. It’s not stupid.”
He doesn’t like how this admission has, somehow, made his desire to kiss you stronger. He hates that he feels even more drawn to you, a magnet finally finding its opposing pole. It freaks him out a little. He’s never wanted to kiss anyone this badly.
Red button theory, he tells himself to try and get back on the straight and narrow. If you hadn’t said anything, none of this would be happening.
“It’s romantic,” he says finally, swiping his thumb in small motions over the top of your shoulder. You nod, mumbling a ‘thank you’ (for what, he isn’t sure), and shiver. Vernon doesn’t know if that’s because of his proximity to you or because you’re finally starting to feel the cold. Either way, he takes the initiative to stand up and holds a hand out for you to take so he can tug you to your feet too. You get up with a little hop.
It’s… devastatingly cute.
“Where are we going?” You ask, brushing off your jeans before shoving your hands into the jacket’s pockets. He’s already on the retreat, walking backwards towards the door that took you up here.
“To get food,” he tells you, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “That party was dead, anyway.”
It doesn’t cross his mind again until your twenty-first birthday.
He’s not your soulmate. He couldn’t be. The thought he had on the roof that autumnal night was little more than a passing fantasy; besides, he doesn’t have a thing for you. He doesn’t want to kiss you, or date you, or have you be his soulmate. The reason you work so well together is because you’re just friends; he thinks you’d drive each other crazy if things ever went romantic between you. You bicker with him for sport. He drowns away hours at a time with his headphones clamped over his ears and forgets to answer your texts. It would be a nightmare.
Not that he’s ever thought about all that. Not actively, or even passively. Not when he should be listening to college lectures instead, for example. Not awake, nor in his dreams. He hasn’t. Not once.
He swears.
“You can save it ‘til tomorrow, if you want.”
Vernon bounces his leg nervously, fidgeting with the edge of your comforter as you sit on the floor in front of him, styling your hair for your party. He arrived half an hour ago while you were still waltzing around in your bathrobe, holding a small, neatly wrapped box in both of his hands. It’s several degrees too warm in your bedroom. He feels a bead of sweat roll down his back as you grumble what seems to be a threat at a strand that won’t cooperate. Thankfully, you don’t seem to notice his discomfort. (If you do, he’s grateful that you don’t say anything.)
“But it’s my birthday today,” you pouted, taking the box from him. “Let me finish getting ready, then I’ll open it. Come on.”
His wrist still aches with the pressure you held onto him with as you dragged him up the stairs. Your parents are away for the weekend and the house is all yours, so there’s a speaker blasting your favourite playlist full volume on your nightstand and there’s nobody to tell you to turn it down. He flits his attention between his phone and watching you, but he can’t fully concentrate on either; he’s too nervous that maybe you won’t like his gift, and he’s never been the type to splash out on birthday presents before but this… well, it burned a hole in his wallet, that’s for sure.
“Okay. Wait here,” you tell him as you push up off the floor, limping on the leg that had started to fall asleep thanks to the way you were sitting.
“All right,” he says back. As if he’d go anywhere, anyway.
You grab a hanger from inside your closet and scurry off down the hall to the bathroom. For the first time, Vernon feels like he can actually breathe. He drops his phone onto the comforter between his crossed legs and cradles his head in his hands, telling himself that he needs to get it together. You’ve never not liked anything he’s given you, and you’ve known him now for more birthdays than you haven’t.
Your friends said you’d love it. So did your mother, with a sparkle in her eye as she held it delicately in her fingers. He has nothing to worry about. It’s only you.
And yet—
“You’ll be honest if it looks bad?” You call from the other side of the door, interrupting how his lips move wordlessly in an endless mantra of self-reassurances.
Vernon snaps his head up and he clears his throat, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. “Aren’t I always?” He answers.
You click your tongue, evidently disagreeing, but you pull the handle and take a step into the room anyway. When you see him, he looks exactly as he did when you left, no trace of his anxieties anywhere to be seen on his face or otherwise.
When he sees you, he feels like the world could end any moment and he’d be okay with that.
His mouth runs dry and his eyes seem to be stuck open, unblinking, fixated on you in your all black outfit as you stand still as a statue with your hands behind your back. You cough quietly, waiting for some kind of a response other than a dumb stare, but it doesn’t come.
Eight seconds later… still nothing.
“Do you hate it?” you fret, because Vernon is a very good hype-man and you’ve never known him struggle to find something positive to say. “All right, uh— okay—”
“No!” He rushes, almost shouting in his urgency to assure you that that’s not the case at all. He scrambles up to his feet, taking a breath, and pushes a hand through his hair. He’s been growing it out lately, and he kind of hates how his fingers catch on a tangle even though he brushed it meticulously before he left his apartment. You keep telling him it looks good, though, so he hasn’t been to get it cut. “God, no. I’m sorry. You look amazing.”
It doesn’t sound like much to the untrained ear, but the warmth of his compliments comes less in the words he says and more in the sincerity he says them with. Your face softens, and Vernon can see the way the thoughts of changing into something else fizzle out behind your eyes. He takes a backwards step to try and tempt you further into your own bedroom, and you move in tandem with him, closing that space and coming better into the light.
“Wow,” he says, swallowing hard and looking you up and down. “I-… wow.”
It’s your turn to clam up, now. You look down at the floor, kicking at the carpet with your toes. “Shut up,” you say. “I’m not...”
“Yes, you are,” he protests, leaving no room for argument as he crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t know who you’re trying to impress but… yeah, it’s gonna work.”
You walk past him with a scoff, barging against his shoulder on your way; he dramatically staggers to the side, rubbing at the impact site, laughing. When he faces you again, you’ve picked the gift up from the end of your bed and are moving to sit on the mattress yourself. Your eyes flicker between Vernon and the empty space in front of you. He takes the hint, settling back down with one foot tucked beneath him, the other still planted on your rug.
His heart shoots back up into his throat and he stares down at the box, licking over his lips and frowning at how dry they feel. He glances away, lifting a hand to his mouth, running his fingertips over his lips. What would they feel like pressed against yours? He thinks, and then he cringes again.
You misread his reaction and hesitate with your finger pressed underneath a strip of tape, tilting your head at him. “What’s going to jump out at me when I open this?”
“Nothing,” he says, rolling his eyes at you. “What do you take me for?”
“The kind of guy who puts glitter in birthday cards because he thinks it’s funny,” you retort, earning a click of his tongue.
“That was one time!”
“One time too many.”
“I swear,” he laughs, tight shoulders easing, both hands falling to his lap. “No sparkles, no loud noises, nothing jumpy. Cross my heart.“
You eye him a little suspiciously but eventually tug your finger beneath the wrapping and make the first rip in the paper, allowing you to tear into the gift after keeping Vernon on edge for almost an hour and a half. You peel it away and it falls to the bedsheets, in your hands now a small, square box not too dissimilar a shade to your comforter. You look from it, to him, and he thinks you notice how his cheeks are a little darker than they were before.
He nods at you once and you slowly pull it open. On a plush, velvety bedding sits an elegant, dainty bracelet. A small gemstone is set in the metal of the bar in the middle of the chain. You skim a thumb over it, your breath held.
“Vernon,” you murmur, tearing your eyes away from the bracelet to look at him. Now, even the tips of his ears have grown flushed, but you’re kind enough not to comment on it to avoid spoiling the moment you’re in. “This is…”
“The lady in the store said it was your birthstone,” he says, twiddling his thumbs. “I mean… I’m really just taking her word for it, ‘cause they all look the same to me, but—”
He’s interrupted as all of your weight topples against him, arms thrown around his neck in a hug. He hesitates a moment before he wraps his own around your waist, drops his head to your shoulder and he smiles wider than he thinks he ever has. “Happy Birthday,” he says, dragging his thumb up and down over your hip.
“Silly,” you scold him playfully, still pressing wholly against him and showing no signs of moving. Your voice sounds thick, a little like you’re tearing up, so Vernon squeezes you tighter.
“I know you are,” he chuckles. “But what am I?”
You swallow hard, finally now pulling away from the hug but sitting entirely too close for comfort, one knee pressing into the outside of his thigh.
Your surprise attack has left him dishevelled. With a quiet apology, your fingers innocently try to smooth everything back into place, but Vernon doesn’t hear you say you’re sorry. His pulse, thundering in his ears, drowns it out while also skipping a beat with each little touch. You’re not looking into his eyes as you shyly put him back to rights, too busy working to tame his — at the best of times — unruly hair.
He’s looking into yours though, and he can’t stop.
Your eyes, which dart all over to find strands out of place, so your hands can move them to where they ought to sit and lay them down flat. Your eyes, that drop down the length of his throat as you realign the neck of his t-shirt over his broad shoulders.
Your eyes: the ones crinkled at the corners as you pick the bracelet back up from your bed and admire it under your bedroom light. Your eyes, landing on his, finally, in a silent plea for help.
“The best?” you answer, now, extending your wrist to ask him to put it on you. He takes the chain from your fingers and unclasps it, slipping it beneath your hand and holding it in place.
“I know you are,” he says again, but it’s quieter now as he concentrates on trying to reconnect the two pieces. “But what am I?”
When he successfully fastens your gift onto your arm, he looks up to see your watery eyes still staring down at it. He decides this is the time to reveal part two of the surprise. Pulling up the sleeve of his t-shirt, he reveals his own wrist to you, and you now see there’s a matching chain hanging off it. A little stone set in the metal. His stone, presumably. You choke out a laugh around your tears, shaking your head.
“You got us friendship bracelets,” you giggle, holding your hand next to his and admiring them together. Your skin touches and he feels butterflies erupt in his stomach, which he hasn’t felt around you since…
He nods, breathing a chuckle too. “Yeah,” he says. His heart is pounding. “I guess I did. Is… that okay?”
“I love them,” you insist, leaning forward to affectionately press your lips to his cheek. “Thank you. It’s perfect.”
Your doorbell sounds downstairs and Vernon’s words die in his throat. Maybe that’s for the best, though; he’s got so much nervous energy rising up inside him and he’s scared it might accidentally force up something he’ll regret saying. You spring off the bed again, fussing in the mirror, and he watches you rush out the bedroom warbling about how you’re not ready for anyone to be here yet. It’s too early. What’s going on? Who is it?
He shifts his legs so both his feet are planted on the floor, letting out a breath he doesn’t remember sucking in.
I love them. Thank you, you said.
It’s perfect.
He groans when he stands up, too, tugging his sleeve back down as he starts to follow after you.
“I know you are,” he mumbles under his breath, hearing your relieved laughter at it just being the FedEx man on your doorstep. It makes him feel warm. Everywhere. “But what am I?”
Five hours later, Vernon is seeing double.
He has Seungkwan’s hands massaging the tops of his shoulders and there are two Juns sitting across from him at your dining table. He remembers feeling fine around 9pm, distinctly: like nothing he drank was having any kind of effect on him. Like he could walk home on his hands — like he was invincible. Now, after spending exactly five minutes out in the fresh air, he’s blinking four times for every breath he takes and his friends’ voices keep phasing in and out of focus.
“But what if they’re not?” Vernon stresses for the eighth time, fingers clumsily peeling at the label on his bottle.
“And what if they are?” Jun tries. Again. Also, for the eighth time, because apparently when Vernon gets tipsy, his skull gets really really thick and nothing in the world can penetrate it. “You’ll never know if you don’t try.”
Vernon shakes his head, sitting back so heavily that his chair tips and he sends Seungkwan stumbling into the wall behind them. His friend gives up trying to rub the stupid out of him and settles into the chair at Vernon’s side instead.
“I don’t know-…”
“If you’re about to say you don’t know what you’ll do if it isn’t them, I’m putting you in an Uber and sending you home.” Seungkwan claps his hand down onto Vernon’s knee for good measure. “It’s not even been a day.”
Vernon groans, threading his fingers into his hair and tipping his head back. “It hasn’t, though,” he whines. “What if it’s been like this since… and I just kept ignoring…”
Jun and Seungkwan exchange a look. An exhausted one. They both know Vernon turns into a complete baby when he’s had a drink and can just about manage a trip to the bathroom without somebody holding his hand, but neither of them have seen him like this before. Neither of them want to see him like this ever again.
Hell, neither of them want to be dealing with him like this right now.
“You’ll never know if you don’t try,” Jun’s (remarkably) calm voice repeats as he pushes up from his seat and glances towards the doorway. His ears lock onto a voice just beyond it, and in an instant, the older man recognises his chance at an exit. He casts an apologetic glance at Seungkwan, who has resorted to rubbing Vernon’s earlobes to try and get him to stop stressing, and he dips out before either of them can argue.
On his way, though, he throws in a sly little remark. One that raises Vernon’s– and Seungkwan’s– blood pressure to a level that would get them prescribed a week of strict bed rest.
“Besides – everyone can see the two of you were practically made for each other.”
Vernon whips around to face Seungkwan with shock written into every line of his face. It paints perfect full-signal WiFi creases on his forehead; it makes his jaw hang loose.
“I– what?” Vernon splutters, shooting a hand to the back of his head. Seungkwan hasn’t taken his eyes off the doorway since Jun slipped through it. Vernon doesn’t notice the fact that his older friend’s full genetic line is currently being cursed out. “What does he mean?”
“You don’t have to do anything tonight,” Seungkwan tries, now acutely aware of the fact that Jun has just given Vernon a nudge he should never have. There’s a fine line between bolstering a friend and straight-up causing chaos. This could get messy. Seungkwan doesn’t like messy.
But… It's too late.
Before Seungkwan can wrangle him back into his seat, Vernon has broken away from the table and is on the hunt for you. Seungkwan follows behind, doing his best to summon Vernon back, but he can’t. He’s on a mission now. And maybe that mission involves giving in to the thing that eats away at his brain when he should be waist-deep in music theory assignments. Maybe that mission is to finally, after two years, know what it feels like to kiss you. He’s going to find you, so help him God. He has to.
And yes. He does. He finds you, eventually. As soon as he reaches the top of the staircase, there you are.
Being pressed into the wood of your bedroom door, wrapped up in the arms of some pretentious looking art student in an oversized button-down and baggy, ripped jeans. Your mouth is covered by theirs, your fingers are threaded through those glossy fucking locks, both of you are laughing breathlessly as you drop one hand and it fumbles blindly to reach for the doorknob.
Vernon spins away, turning his back as he hears the door click. At this exact moment, Seungkwan comes stumbling up the stairs too and plants his forehead into Vernon’s sternum.
But his good friend’s skull is not the only thing Vernon is struck with, not the only thing knocking the wind out of him.
Simultaneously, he’s swept up with the sobering realisations that either this guy is your soulmate, or you’re not the same person you were when you were nineteen.
It’s eleven o’clock and two years later when he hears your secret knock on his apartment door.
Maybe it’s luck. Maybe it’s fate. He only took his noise cancelling headphones off a few minutes ago before he washed up and settled into bed; his head has hardly even had time to make a dent in the pillows. But whichever force is at play, the thing that matters is that he hears you and he knows it’s you, straight away. He doesn’t remember how it started, exactly. He thinks it might have been while he was in his exam-season hermit stage in his first year of university and refused to come to the door unless it was something important.
You’ve been knocking the same way for years now though, and he slides out of bed with creased brows at how desperate your fist sounds as it pounds against the wood. He pulls on an old t-shirt and perhaps the loosest fitting pair of shorts anyone’s ever owned, at least making himself decent before he answers. He’s still tying the drawstring when he gets to the door.
When he looks through the peep-hole to make sure he’s right, you’re drying your eyes on the back of your sweatshirt sleeve. You’re shivering quite violently, and you’ve got a bag on your shoulder that’s weighing you down on one side. Vernon’s heart sinks. He unbolts the door, pulling it open just as you lift your hand to knock again; your knuckles punch the air between you as your eyes land on him, and your bottom lip wobbles in despair.
You fall into his chest with a sob. Tears start to soak their way through his shirt until it clings to the skin underneath.
“Hey,” he soothes you, locking his arms so tight around you that there’s a strong chance they’re the only thing holding you upright.
“I didn’t— know where else to go—” you choke out, your arm trapped between your chest and his as he rests his head on top of yours and pats your back softly. “I’m s-”
“Don’t you dare,” he murmurs, tilting his chin down to press a soft kiss to the top of your head. “It’s okay. I’m here. You can always come to me.”
He holds you until your shakes start to subside, trying to talk you through whatever this is with soft reassurances and gentle shushing sounds. When you pull back from him, Vernon guides you into his apartment, flicking on the lamp in his living room so he can see to settle you down on his couch. He throws a blanket over your legs before he sits down himself, pulling your hand into his lap and holding it between both of his own, his thumb moving absently over your knuckles. You’re still crying, but when you shuffle against the seat to be a little more comfortable and finally turn to face him, he finds his voice long enough to ask you what happened.
“He kissed— kissed someone else,” you tell him, sniffling and shaking your head.
His blood reaches boiling point in what must be record time and he knows he accidentally starts to grip your hand tighter, but he can’t stop.
“He what?”
Vernon knows this guy wasn’t your soulmate. You told him, a few days after your birthday. You said everything was still black and white when you pulled back from the first of — what you spared no detail in explaining was — many, many, many kisses with him that evening. But you didn’t care. Not then, and not for the whole time you’ve been together.
He asked you about it once. About four months in (when he figured things were starting to get serious), late at night, if it bothered you. Whether you were going to keep seeing him. If you still thought about finding your soulmate. He doesn’t think he’ll ever forget what your replying message said.
I mean, sure, I’m curious. But maybe I don’t need to see in colour. I think being in love is enough :)
So… you were in love.
With someone who wasn’t him.
He didn’t speak to anyone — not even you — for two whole days after that. He felt like he’d gone ten rounds with a peak-form George Foreman. He felt like he’d never be able to get rid of the pit that had developed in the depths of his gut. He couldn’t sleep, he could barely eat, he couldn’t focus: it was the worst he’d ever felt. And, well… Vernon knew it was immature. He knew he was acting like a child. If he could’ve shaken it off, the way he’s always done with so many of the things in his life that have bothered him, he’d have loved to. But he couldn’t.
Besides. Only about four people noticed his silence, anyway. You weren’t one of them; your boyfriend was keeping you plenty busy.
“He went to a club and got completely wasted and he— he—” you say, squeezing his hand even tighter than he’s holding yours. “But-… he says he-…” Hiccup. “Everything. Straight away — his…”
You don’t need to say it out loud; if anything, he’s a little disgusted with himself that he didn’t figure this out sooner. “His soulmate,” Vernon ruefully finishes for you. He groans the words out, feeling rotten to his core. “I’m so sorry…”
Your shoulders start to shake and he wastes no time in pulling you sideways against him, both his arms locked around you again, just like before.
“It’s so stupid,” you cry, laughing emptily. His stomach turns; he hates this. Your anguish is an assault on his eardrums, especially when he’s got you so close, but he tries so hard not to flinch, not to move away. You need him, no matter how agonised it makes him feel. “I knew he wasn’t mine, but I thought-…”
Your voice fades away to nothing. You shake your head.
“You thought he was happy the same way you were,” he finishes again. You just nod, sobbing harder. “That's not—… stop saying the way you feel is stupid.”
Vernon doesn’t understand how that loser could ever not have been happy with you. How could he dream about going out in search of something more? Hell, Vernon doesn’t think there’s a soul alive better than you — how could anyone stand to just throw you away?
He wonders briefly if you can hear his heartbeat, thundering in his chest with the rage he feels all the way into his bones. You’ve always told him that you admire how chilled out, how collected he is, but Vernon has never felt less calm in his entire life. It’s only as he acknowledges that he has no right to feel like this, that he takes a few deep breaths in an attempt to bring his fever down. You mimic him, trying to do the same, and by the time his pulse starts to settle, you’re back to just sniffling against his shoulder.
“Stay the night here,” he tells you. It isn’t a suggestion, or really even a request. It’s an order. There’s no room for negotiation. “We’ll go get your things in the morning. I’ll be right there with you.”
You open your mouth to speak, but Vernon gets there before you do. Before you can protest the offers he’s made. Before you can ask him if he’s sure. He knows you, a little too well: he knows these are the words that are going to come out of your mouth next. “I’m with you, okay? Always.”
You sit back from him with a quiet chuckle, wiping your eyes again on your damp sleeve. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you,” you murmur. “You’re the best— the best thing that ever happened to me.”
He just rolls his eyes at you and shakes his head, standing up from the couch. (I know you are, he thinks. This isn’t the time for jokes, though.) He wishes you knew what you mean to him; how, in his eyes, you deserve the world, presented to you on a shining silver platter. Wishes you knew that he’d give it to you if thought he could carry it.
“Go wash up,” he says, ignoring the ache in his chest at the way your watery lashes flutter when you look up at him. “I’ll find you something to sleep in.”
He locates a spare toothbrush from a travelling kit he’s never used and sets a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants on the heated towel rail, leaving you alone in the bathroom to go about your business. You emerge some fifteen minutes later to find Vernon perched on the edge of his bed, scrolling through an app on his phone. He can’t help but swallow at the way his clothes fit you. How the steam from your shower clings to your skin, casts a heavenly haze around you. He hopes it isn’t obvious. This is about more than his dumb little crush.
“Were you asleep?” You ask him, nodding towards his comforter, still pushed back on one side. He turns to glance over his shoulder, following the line of your sight, before he looks back at you and shakes his head.
“Not even close,” he says. “I’d just got into bed when you got here.”
You worry your bottom lip between your teeth and nod. Vernon doesn't think you look totally convinced, but he can’t force you to believe him, even if it is the truth.
It’s unspoken but accepted that you'll sleep in the bed with him; he’s never let you stay on his couch when you spend the night, and you never agree to displacing him even though he always tries to insist he doesn’t mind. You’ve been friends for enough time now that it’ll never be weird to crawl beneath the sheets with him, anyway. At first, he didn’t really like sharing (he’s a bit… particular with how he sleeps, after all), but he got used to your weight on the mattress beside him quite quickly and makes a point to say he always sleeps better with you.
He hasn’t curled up next to you for the night in over two years. It’s awful, that that’s what he thinks about now as he turns off the lights and you settle down, shuffling under the comforter until he slides in next to you in the dark and you can lay your head on his chest. He knows it’s selfish. He thinks it probably makes him a bad person, too.
“Do you think—” you start to say, cut off by a long, vocal yawn. Your breath feels so warm through his t-shirt. “If you fall out of love with them… do the colours go away?”
With his eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling he can’t even see, Vernon feels his heart shatter beneath the soft cushion of your cheek. He’s suddenly grateful he’s still fully clothed, as if the cotton barrier is the only thing stopping you from getting scratched by the splinters beneath his skin. He wonders if you hear it. It would be an easier explanation for why he doesn’t say anything than whatever his mouth could come up with, that’s for sure.
“I don’t know,” he says after a few seconds too long. The arm wrapped around your shoulders slips down to your waist and he squeezes you. Briefly, he wonders if it can force your broken pieces back together.
Vernon knows he would never do this to you. He’d never hurt you this way. Out of everyone he’s ever met, he thinks you’re the sweetest, the kindest, the most thoughtful of them all. The last person he’d ever wish a heartbreak upon. He even used to joke that he’d go to war with anyone who dared to try.
But now he’s seeing it happen? He feels as if he really could.
“I just hope you never have to find out,” he follows up, blinking back the thoughts that start to bubble away as your breaths slow down.
He wrapped a band-aid around your finger when you got a papercut once and you asked him, then, if he would kiss it better.
When you bumped your head in the playground, the same.
He’d kiss it all better now too, if he could. He’d show you how you deserve to be loved.
And he doesn’t just think it, anymore; Vernon knows that this makes him a terrible person.
“I hope you don’t, either,” you mumble back. “... and I hope we find them soon.”
He’s so proud of you.
Okay, it never took much. He’s been proud of you for every good grade you’ve ever achieved, every doctor's appointment you booked for yourself, every trip to the dentist you stressed over. He’s been proud of you for finishing projects you were struggling with. Proud of you for learning new recipes. For every milestone, personal or professional, it’s the first thing he makes sure to say.
[ hey, look at u go!!! proud of u :) ]
Now? He’s seen you crawl from rock bottom to the top of the world. It hasn’t been easy. There have been hurdles and barriers and sometimes, sixty foot high walls you’ve had to climb up and over, but you’ve done it. You’re thriving. Every time he looks at you, these days, if you’re not wearing a smile there are at least traces of one in your eyes, on your face, in your voice. Happiness suits you, and he’s so, so proud of you for getting here.
He knows you’re doing better, because between Christmas and New Year, you asked him if he wanted to come to a party with you. At first, he wasn’t sure; the holidays left his wallet feeling a little light and he’s been on a really good streak of not drinking anything lately, but when you promised that you’d stay sober too, he kind of couldn’t say no.
[ i just wanna see in the new year with my favourite person ever <3 ]
[ ha. flattery will get u everywhere ]
So here he finds himself, out in the backyard of somebody he’s never met, a can of Coke in one hand and your gloved fingers holding tightly onto the other. You dragged him outside at five minutes to midnight and — though he doesn’t know why — you decided you didn’t want to let go. Vernon certainly wasn’t going to be the one to make you. Your warmth down his left side is settling the slight unease he’s felt all evening while also making him feel tipsier than he’s ever been under the influence of any amount of soju; he thinks maybe this should scare him, but he’s just… so glad he came.
With sixty seconds until the clock strikes twelve, somebody stands up on top of the picnic table in the yard and starts to try and coordinate a countdown. With forty-five, Vernon squeezes your hand, butterflies where his stomach ought to be. With thirty, he takes a long drain of his drink, finishing it as if it’ll give him some courage, maybe, or… he doesn’t know. Zero sugar, zero caffeine — there’s no logic behind his process, just a lot of bubbles and artificially sweetened syrup. All the same, he crushes the can against his thigh and slips it into his pocket to throw away later. That alone relieves a bit of his adrenaline.
Not enough, but some.
With ten seconds remaining, the first shout drowns out the white noise in his ears, the chaos of his thoughts. 10. He joins them. So do you. 9. 8. Your voice is the loudest, the most excited sounding. You want this year to be over. You want the rest of your life to begin.
7. 6. 5.
The crackers are set. Flames dance at the end of the garden on fire lighters, ready to send rockets shooting into the sky.
Some people here are going to see them as they truly are. Brilliant and vibrant and colourful against the black canvas of the midnight sky. Vernon won’t. Neither will you. But what was it you said to him once?
4. 3.
Maybe I don’t need to see in colour.
2.
For the first time, he thinks he agrees. The feeling of loving you, even if he never knows green from red, blue from orange? He doesn’t care. He has you. He loves you. That’s enough.
1.
Happy New Year.
As if dawn has broken early, the world becomes impossibly bright, pyrotechnics bursting not only over your own heads but everywhere, as far as his eyes can see. After the first few, he permits himself a glance over at your face: there are tears running down it, and his heart stutters, but then he hears you laugh. Brightly, wetly, more resonant than any of the booms and crackles and cheers he can feel all the way down to his toes.
For whatever reason, Vernon starts laughing with you.
You pull him closer into a bone-crushing hug and blink your damp lashes against the side of his neck. “Thank you for being here with me,” you say to him, practically shouting to be heard. “I love you so much.”
“I’m always gonna be with you,” he says as you pull back a little. Your arms are still around him. The chain of the bracelet he bought you all those years ago is bitterly cold against the back of his neck. He can’t feel his fingers anymore, all he knows is that they’re resting on the curve of your spine. He thinks he can see something in the way you look at him, so softly and tenderly and yet, in the twitch of your brow…
Like you’re searching for something that might not be there.
He knows his gaze moves in a perfect triangle — from your left eye, to your slightly parted, wind-chapped lips, to your right. He knows he stops breathing. He swears you do, too. Something builds — a spark catches, an energy festers, egged on by the curious murmurs of the people around you.
You could do it, his brain tells him.
So what if he’s a few minutes late for it to be traditional? Does it really matter?
But he’s reminded, again, this time with a whizz and a boom and a crackle, that you aren’t his to have this way. His storybook moment fizzles out, the final firework bursting into sparkles overhead. He sees every one of your perfect features brighten in wonder as you tilt your head back to look up at it. Sees it beautifully reflected in your glassy eyes. He has about enough time to commit the image to memory before you clear your throat and finally step away from him, losing all touch for the first time since you came outside.
One of your friends comes and pulls you into an embrace, before passing you along to someone else, and then someone else again. He loses you in the crowd that rushes to get back in the warm, but he makes no effort to move with them. He just stays out in the dark for a while with his own thoughts for company, shoving his frigid hands into the pockets of his jeans.
He’s happy, though. It’s like you said.
Being in love is enough.
“There’s just one more thing,” you say as the waitress returns with your bank card and a receipt. Vernon slides you a look as he stands, picking up his jacket from the back of the chair he’s been sitting in.
He shakes his head at you. “Whatever it is, it better not be edible,” he laughs. “I think this is the most full I’ve ever been.”
In other words, you’ve done enough already. Stop spending money on me. Please. Thankfully, your final surprise is in-keeping with his unspoken rule.
His birthday rolled around way too quickly. The start of the year has been so chaotically busy; you swear, you’ve hardly seen him since he dropped you off home after the party. You moved out of your parents’ house for the second time a few weeks ago and settling in, unpacking boxes, sorting through clothes and belongings and trinkets has taken you much longer than you care to admit. You’ve been busy at work, too. So has he. Your social calendars have barely lined up at all.
But you were determined to make plenty of time for him on his birthday.
To Vernon, this has always just been another day. He’s never cared too much about big celebrations: as long as he can spend some time with people he cares about, he’s happy, and this year he’s managed exactly that. He saw his family this morning, had some friends drop by his apartment later in the day, and now, he’s with you.
You’ve never been great at the laid-back approach, though. Not with him. How could you be, when he does so much for you, always without even batting an eye? When he deserves to be doted on, and adored, and thoroughly spoiled? It’s the same every year. You make a fuss, he playfully scolds you for it; you and he are creatures of habit. It’ll probably never change.
This year, you invited him to your new place to open the gifts you’d bought him: the new speaker he kept saying he couldn’t justify buying, a record he looked at in the store a few months ago but never bought, a sweatshirt to replace the one you stole off him on New Years Eve. Some candies he likes. Then, after he finally stopped pouting and sighing that you really didn’t need to go to all this effort, you took him out for dinner, making a reservation for two at his favourite restaurant.
The pouting continued.
Only up until your appetisers came out, though. The moment your food was placed down in front of you, his eyes doubled in size and his lips became a little too busy to stay pursed. Your own dinner almost went cold with how fondly you sat and watched him. This year, you even spared Vernon the embarrassment of having the restaurant staff sing at the side of your table.
All right, you have an ulterior motive, but… it’s the thought that counts, right?
He holds the door open for you now as you thank the waitress who served you one last time and without him lowering his arm, you step into place beneath it. Tucked up into Vernon’s side, you’re as happy as you’ve ever been. Nervous, too, but… you have a good feeling.
“Where to?” He asks as you fall into step together.
“This way.”
You emerge from the shelter of the canopy outside the restaurant’s front door and immediately feel the cool tickle of a snowflake landing on your cheek. They started to fall while you were eating and Vernon couldn’t stop watching through the window, small specks that grew over the hour into big clumps that tumbled towards the ground. He’s always loved the snow, and there’s no real destination for this gift, anyway. You guide him to the left and watch as peace takes its rightful home on his beautiful features.
“We’ve walked in a perfect square three times now,” Vernon says after a little while of meandering about in the dark, making comfortable small talk and laughing as the champagne bubbles in your stomachs continue to fizz away. “Where are we supposed to be going?”
You wondered how long it was going to take him to notice, or even if he was going to realise at all. Looking up and down the street you’re on, you stop in your tracks, standing beneath the same flickering street lamp that you’ve passed twice already. Your footprints trail both behind and in front of you, neither quite covered yet by the snowfall. You break into a laugh when you notice that the convenience store on your left has closed since the last time you came down this road.
“I can get a map open, if…” Vernon starts, reaching into his pocket. You stop him, stepping out from under his arm and wrapping your hand around his wrist instead.
“I might’ve told a little white lie,” you confess,
He halts with his phone only half pulled out, pushing it into his hip for fear of it falling if either of you let go. “What do you mean?” He asks.
You know he’s probably thinking back to your earlier conversations, trying to figure out which part exactly is the mistruth you’re now admitting to. But whether he gets there on his own or not, he waits for you to answer.
“I had it with me this whole time,” you explain, readjusting your hold on his covered forearm. His eyes dart downwards, looking at the site of contact, but he quickly lifts them back up to your face. “I was just… waiting for… ”
“What are you talking about?” Vernon asks.
“Close your eyes.”
You know.
Unfortunately for your best friend, as hush-hush as he’s managed to be all this time, the same can’t be said for the other person he entrusts all his secrets to. A few weeks ago, when you’d called Seungkwan to coordinate timings for Vernon’s birthday plans, he’d accidentally let something slip. It was your suggestion of taking Vernon to dinner that did the trick.
“Oh, he’s going to love that,” Seungkwan had gushed. You could hear the breadth of his smile down the phone and felt yourself growing hot at the compliment.
“You really think so?”
“Pfft. You could take him to the Eiffel Tower or to a drive-through KFC, and he’d still have hearts in his eyes – because it’s you.”
Of course, he attempted to do some damage control immediately after. Make out that he meant it in strictly platonic terms. But once the idea planted itself in your head, it sort of… made sense. You mulled it over for a couple of days but when you finally asked Seungkwan, deathly serious, if he really thought you stood a chance with Vernon?
He practically screamed ‘yes’ down the phone.
“The last time you asked me to do this, you killed me at laser-tag,” Vernon says, narrowing his eyes. He surely doesn’t think you’re hiding a plastic gun underneath the coat he literally just watched you don, but he doesn’t do as you ask and you suck your front teeth at him.
“Luckily for you, I left all my weapons at home,” you counter. “Come on, please. Just… trust me.”
“Said that last time, too,” he snickers. But, to his merit, he finally does it. He takes in a breath and follows your instruction. “I swear to God…”
Selfishly, you take a moment to bask in how handsome he really is. His eyes twitch underneath his lids and snowflakes cling to his lashes, moving with them. It’s in his hair, too. On his shoulders. Melting on his cheeks, leaving small wet spots on his face. One lands perfectly on the tip of his nose. You would immortalise this moment, if you could.
It made sense, when you found out, because thinking back? Nobody has ever loved you how Vernon does. He shows it in so many ways – he sends you the songs that he hears and thinks you’ll like, the pretty photographs that he takes when he’s away for work, some variant of a ‘good morning’ text, almost every day. He massages your shoulders, lets you fall asleep on his lap, follows you around like an obedient puppy when you have errands to run just so you don’t have to do them on your own.
He tries, and often fails, to cook you breakfast when you stay over. He brings you coffees, or lunch. He looks at you like you’re the moon and the stars. People have teased for years that you could be psychically connected. That you were cosmically united. That it was fate for Vernon to move into the house down the street from you when you were nine. To be the only other child your age on the block.
Two people, perfect for one another, lives intertwined eternally by fate. Or, in other words…
“Are you…?” He asks, breaking the quiet that has only been filled with your cloud-forming breaths.
“Give me a second,” you breathe. There’s no doubt in your mind.
You lean forward to kiss him softly, free hand settling against the side of his neck. In the February chill, Vernon freezes, no part of his body reacting to you except for his lips. Though they twitch in a gasp, they press back against yours as if he isn’t even thinking about doing it. As if it’s instinctual. As if he was always supposed to kiss you – as if he’s your…
There it all is, when you finally pull away.
Brown eyes, framed by fluttering lashes that untangle from one another to finally see you, too. Brown, you know, because when you asked your mother to tell you about Vernon’s colours when you were younger, that was the only one she told you, saying everything else might change when he got older. Warm, brown eyes. Glistening with every blink, blink, blink of the bulb above you. Pupils slowly dilating, drowning the colours out of view. You see his lids shoot wide as he realises, as he glances left and right, as he takes this new world in for the first time, too.
“I knew it,” you say on a stuttered breath, so overwhelmed you could cry. “My soulmate.”
A brilliant smile threatens to split Vernon’s features in two as he cups your cheeks and pulls you back to him, kissing you again, and again, and again.
“I know you are,” he says against your lips, his bare thumbs pink and cold as they press into your skin. And, before you can kiss him quiet – “but what ‘m I?”
thank u so much for reading, i really hope you enjoyed this. as always, your likes/reblogs/comments and feedback are always deeply appreciated.<3
#vernon fluff#vernon x reader#vernon chwe fluff#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#hansol x reader#hansol fluff#kpop fluff#j writes.#*#so nervous ab posting this. anyway. i wrote this for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and my deluded ass is gonna go jump in a hole now GOODBYE <3#vernon fanfic
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I saw someone post a tweet about how a lot of people in the Inquisition must have suspected that something was off about Solas, and out of all of them Bull knew that there was something fishy going on for SURE but the scope of the whole thing was just too big for him to have guessed exactly what was going on.
So, that made me think how the whole reveal must have been like if it actually happened in our world and oh my god it's SO ridiculous.
Btw, this is obviously OOC, but it's just. Solas makes SUCH a character oh my god.
---
Imagine you are an Interpol agent that joins the CIA for this one very important and very specific mission. Everyone knows that you work for another organization and you are a trained and highly competent agent, but the situation is so dire that the CIA is basically hiring everyone who could help.
So, there is this one very weird guy.
He wears an old hoodie and yoga pants. When asked where he came from, he tells you that he is into outdoor living, so just "outside, you know, somewhere". He has no qualifications apart from being a skilled hacker and really really really good at navigating the Deep Web. In fact, he's an expert at it, to the point of being the Deep Web specialist of the team. He walks around BAREFOOT.
He is a WEIRDO.
You assume he is just some guy probably over his head, pretty helpful but that's kinda it. You are going to keep an eye on him anyway, as you keep an eye on most people.
And suddenly, things start no adding up.
You ask him how he learned to hack into the deep web and he answers that he just likes sleeping under bridges and there is very good internet connection there, so he ended up learning. He doesn't elaborate.
For a guy that spends all his time sleeping on the floor and hunched over a computer, you notice that he is actually BUILT. You cannot tell over the oversized hoodie, but that guy has muscle. Once it comes up, he looks you in the eyes and tells you that that's just normal when you live in the outside like him.
You need somebody to pilot an helicopter. He knows how to pilot an helicopter. "Oh, I just watched a video tutorial. You know, in the Deep Web".
You need to steal some nuclear codes. "Oh I know how to cancel those nuclear codes. I found a lot of documents explaining how to do it. You know, in the Deep Web".
You need to plan a coup. "Oh yeah I know all about backstabbing politics. I found a list of all the relevant politicians and the country's corrupt history. You know, in the deep web"
You are in the middle of said backstabbing and he's slightly tipsy looking fondly at the whole thing like "oh how I missed the vibe of a nepotist state. No one throws a party like corrupted politicians- Not that I've been in one before, of course. I've only seen videos. You know, in the deep web"
He drives the other two expert hackers out of their minds. "I don't know how you managed to get this position, you don't even have a Doctorate" "Doctorates are overrated, I think you all would do better if you came to vibe under a bridge like me"
He actually is OBSESSED with overthrowing institutions.
The hackers tear him a new one because they find his Hacker Drip lacking (fair). And he smells like Cheetos.
"I made a lot of friends on the Deep Web forums"
At this point you are convinced that this guy HAS to have something else going on. There is simply NO way someone would know so many things from his deep web premium access under a bridge.
Your best bet has to be that he's another secret agent, a very highly trained one at that, right? Or maybe a highcore antifa member? He either has inside information of the CIA or he's looking for it. But he has been ridiculous helpful so far, so you just can't tell what he's hiding and why.
And then one day guy, this FUCKING guy.
He shows up and tells your Boss that he's actually the ancient god Loki from the Nordic pantheon. That he created death, but is sorry so he's actually going to join the Earth with Heaven and Hell. A lot of people would die because of the Demons and you know, Earth as it is not existing anymore, but that's a sacrifice he's willing to make.
Now tell me, how the FUCK were you supposed to guess THAT.
#solas dragon age#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#solas#iron bull#This is a hahaha funny post that I wrote in one go so sorry for the mess and the inaccuracies!#I hope y'all have a laugh at least
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