#anyway. you know that one post that's talking about dnd i think

[jonathanrook]

i'm sorry i know but the marmora trials kinda suck :/

[sailorsleepymoon]

Whole squad is in the discord vc except the one transfem friend before dnd starts and one of them refers to her using they asking if anyone knows when she’s coming. and you go. She said she’d probably be here but someone should message her :) also I noticed that we’ve all been using they/them for her but I checked her pronoun roles in a different server we’re all in and the only ones she has are she/her :) so we should proba

And you get cut off by the person who said it and one of the other people going “OH well I use they/them for everyone” and “yeah I just kinda always default to they/them” and “yeah same I just always use them” talking over each other and

And the impulse to bring out your academic essay from sjw university hits. There is the sharp impulse to go 🤨 you guys using they/them for her when we know her pronouns is degendering her and ultimately feeding into the larger structure of transmisogyny and

you ignore it and say ok well I think :) we should try anyway 💕 to use her right pronouns

And there’s the quiet consensus of like yeah ok that’s fair that’s true. and she joins the vc three seconds later

[famewolf]

i will genuinely never understand my dad!!! and i feel guilty for being confused and angered by him!!!! i don't know what he wants and i doubt i ever will

i guess he's known that he's had cancer for over a month now but never told me. and i dont know if it's because he wanted me to reach out/pay attention to him, as he's done in the past or if he just didn't think to, or if it's some other third mysterious reason that i can't think up

we aren't close since he was rarely in my life but i feel like that's something you tell your kid.

and the only reason i found out is because i went to go check and see why he hadn't replied to my message about asking if he wanted to hang out for the thousandth time without getting a response

[im-still-a-robot]

INSANELY curious about what you mean by "if he dies the band becomes real" what does that mean that sounds so fucking cool

Oh lmao! Its for a backup character!

Our campaign is very much one where the threat of death is looming, so I have the bones of a character in the works in case I need to scramble together another one. I have to keep myself from coming up with too many ideas for him, but Dionysian Nightmare is supposed to be his band :]!

As long as Eddie is alive (which is hopefully the whole campaign o7) the band will just be a fun easter egg. However, if he does die, I will go full Band Development mode. It will be fun and sad. If the extra doesn't get used, I'll still probably recycle him for another campaign or release him from dnd and just have him as a standard OC

As a treat here is the better mockup of the album cover + notes

[elspethdekarios]

Gale as an archmage

I've been thinking about this for a while. If you select Gale as an origin character in the character creator and play his intro, he introduces himself as Gale of Waterdeep™ he immediately follows with "please - no need to be intimidated."

Now I think we initially brush this statement off as Gale being full of himself, but the first time you talk to him and ask him to tell you about himself, there's an option to say something like "Come on, you must have stories from your time as archmage."

And I've always wondered - how would tav know this? Gale hasn't mentioned it. Which leads me to my research question:

Is Gale famous?

Not Elminster-famous, of course, but is he THE archmage of Waterdeep, known throughout the Realms? Is Gale of Waterdeep a legitimate title, not just one he decided to use because it sounds important?

Maybe all of this is common knowledge in DnD lore, but it's a fairly new world to me. Here's what I found about archmages:

From the Forgotten Realms fandom wiki (https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Archmage):

Archmages were among the most powerful arcane spellcasters found throughout all of Faerûn. These practitioners of the Art were experts at manipulating and altering their spells, often in strange ways. Many cities across Faerûn had a single archmage who dedicated themselves to serve that settlement and its people. Some notable cities included Lyrabar in Impiltur, and the great western metropolis of Waterdeep. The term "archmage" was often used to refer to spellcasters who took on leadership roles among similarly-inclined practitioners of The Art. In the drow city of Menzoberranzan, the head of the arcane academy known as Sorcere was granted the title, Archmage of Menzoberranzan.

So, to summarize, archmages are super powerful, big cities often have a singular, dedicated archmage, and they take on leadership roles in the city, sometimes (or at least once) being deemed THE archmage of the city.

I've already seen posts about the insane amount of power held by archmages, so I'm not really going to go into that. I'm just interested in how well-known Gale would be in the Realms. One issue I'm running into while researching is that many people seem to approach the archmage in terms of DnD stats (spell levels, player levels, etc) rather than from a storytelling perspective.

I can't find much else specifically on how widely known archmages would be. There is a list of archmages on the Forgotten Realms wiki, but Gale isn't included on it. I'm assuming maybe BG3 lore is considered an off-shoot of FR lore and therefore not necessarily canon? Let me know if I'm wrong about this.

So that leaves me with message board responses. Here are some notable ones:

An old candlekeep.com forum on the differences between the titles used by magic users. Several users seem to agree with this person.

From the same thread as above.

Interestingly, DnD beyond has archmage categorized as a monster. I'm not sure if this applies only to evil-aligned mages or not, so anyone with more familiarity, feel free to chime in. Anyway, here's what DnD beyond says:

"Archmages are powerful (and usually quite old) spellcasters dedicated to the study of the arcane arts. Benevolent ones counsel kings and queens, while evil ones rule as tyrants and pursue lichdom. Those who are neither good nor evil sequester themselves in remote towers to practice their magic without interruption. An archmage typically has one or more apprentice mages, and an archmage's abode has numerous magical wards and guardians to discourage interlopers."

Gale does mention having students/apprentices at some point (he says something about being impatient with them if I remember correctly, but I can't remember when he actually says it), and, if he's Professor Gale in the epilogue, you're told that an apprentice delivered the invite to the party.

I also find it interesting that archmages typically have wards around their home to keep out intruders, implying that they're well-known enough to have people regularly trying to break into their home?? Or at least has happened enough times to warrant protection.

I also appreciate this reddit comment on a thread asking about the rarity of archmages:

This lead me to a super interesting reddit post which I really suggest you check out if you're interested. The OP breaks down the percentages of each class and level and translates that to city populations. I'm bad at math so that may be a horrible explanation. Anyway, here's a chart that they made:

I have been trying my hardest to put the alt text on the images for accessibility but I have no idea how that would work with this chart. I did include the text at the bottom for screen readers just in case. I'm sorry!

Sooooo someone in the comments asked specifically about Waterdeep and here's what someone who is good at math figured out! (They are correcting a previous comment with incorrect math, hence the first part of the comment):

Since a wizard is considered an archmage at level 18, it's safe to say that Gale would definitely be one of only a few wizards in Waterdeep with such a title. And if the above commenter's assumption about the Blackstaff being one of the only archmages in the city, Gale being of a similar level is HUGE, right? The Blackstaff is a big deal. From the Forgotten Realms wiki:

Blackstaff was the title and name given to the master of the eponymous staff and Blackstaff Tower, including Blackstaff Academy, as well as the Archmage of Waterdeep.

So if the Blackstaff is THE Archmage of Waterdeep, Gale, obviously, is not. But!!! If we can trust the math of the reddit users above, and we assume Gale was at least a level 19 wizard pre-orb/tadpole/whatever ... he would be one of two archmages in Waterdeep, second only to the Blackstaff themself.

I personally think that's enough renown to be a somewhat familiar name throughout Faerûn. So yes, Gale is a bit arrogant and, in his own words, pompous about being Gale of Waterdeep™ but perhaps it's warranted.

This has been a deep dive fueled by procrastination about writing the research papers I should actually be writing right now. Thank you for your time

[badaspebble]

✵ Come get me

Summary: Bada hasn’t been paying attention to you lately, which is starting to be frustrating. At first it was fine, seeing how much work she had to put into her team. Now that SWF was over, there was no need for her to pay so much attention to them. Guess you’ll have to make her pay attention to you.

Warnings: 18+ themes, (Dom!Bada, jealous!Bada, kinda mean!Bada but she’s soft at the end, strap-on use, teasing, hair pulling, semi-public, praise, edging, choking, swearing, dacryphilia)

Word Count: 3.8k

Bada Lee x fem!reader

@ijdtfsc Here you go! I hope it’s to your liking. I know you wanted them to go home and fuck, but I felt like if Bada finally had enough of reader, she wouldn’t be able to wait.

MDNI

Bada ignored your texts for the 6th time that day. You’ve been trying to set up a date for the both of you, hoping to relieve some of her stress, but she can’t even take her attention off of the team for a couple hours. You sighed as you threw your phone somewhere before plopping face first onto the bed. Staying there for a couple minutes, you almost fell asleep. Bada’s scent invaded your nose as you were on her pillow. For a minute, you almost forgave her. Just for a minute though.

When you sat back up, you ended up getting mad again. You huffed as you looked for your phone, cursing how dumb you are for throwing it somewhere in order to be dramatic. You found it by her hoodie, along with a picture she took in a rather...vulnerable state. You remembered that day. Bada was the most jealous she’s ever been.

You blinked, mind blanking for a second before you giggled. Your plan started forming. You might have to do it again…

You picked your phone up, going on Instagram before setting everything up. You picked a baby blue lacy skirt, paired with a baby blue lace bra. Rushing through your makeup, you couldn’t wait to see how Bada will act out. Taking your phone to capture a mirror photo and another photo where you’re slightly bent over was easy, unlike thinking of a caption to make Bada mad enough.

Sighing, you pondered on it a bit. Finally, you made a..lowkey bad one but you’re sure Bada will get the message. ‘Come get me ;)’

You scrunched your eyebrows together at the corny caption, but ultimately clicked post anyway. Turning your phone over, you finished getting ready before sending a text to your friends in order to let them know you’re ready.

Hearing a ding from your phone, you picked it up thinking it was your friends saying they were here. Instead, you got multiple messages, to say the least, from Bada.

‘What are you wearing

You’re not going out like that are you?

Hello?

Don’t leave like that.

Why are you showing everybody what’s mine?

I thought we talked about this

Can you take those down?

You better not fuck with me today baby

I’m not in the mood.

Hello?????

Call me’

More texts followed, along with numerous missed calls. You giggled before leaving her on seen. You turned your phone on DND and realized your friends were here so you hurriedly left the house and hopped in their car. The ride to the club was quick as it isn’t very far from the house.

Walking in, you were met with the smell of alcohol, sweat, and weed. You didn’t wait for your friends as you immediately went towards the dance floor, finding some cute girl to dance with. She looked older than you by quite a few years, and she had a particular tattoo on her shoulder. You bit your lip, deciding to grind on her and drink from her cup. She laughed at you before yelling something.

“What’s your name?” The stranger yelled over the loud music.

“It doesn’t matter.” You yelled back, drinking the rest of the alcohol from her cup. You threw it somewhere behind you before wrapping your arms around her neck.

“I’m Monika..” She whispered into your ear as she put her hands on your waist. “You here to let off some steam? You seem tense.” Monika teased as she squeezed your hips.

You snuggled into her neck, inhaling her scent. “Mmm, you could say that. I’ve been ignored lately.” You say with a pout.

Monika laughed…in your face. “You came here cause you felt ignored? Oh you sweet girl. Do you want me to help you?”

You looked at her with wide eyes, not knowing what to do. You were thinking of a million excuses a minute to say. (Un)lucky for you, you felt a large hand grab your shoulder. “Excuse us, ma’am. This is my ‘sweet girl’. Sorry for bothering you.”

Bada’s voice cuts through, and her grip is harsh on your shoulder. Monika looks at Bada with a smile. “She’s not bothering me at all, actually. I think we were just getting started, weren’t we?” Monika asks you, still looking at Bada.

You smirk, taking this chance like a dumbass. “We were. If you don’t mind us..” You take Monika’s hand and go closer to the middle of the dance floor. You look back at Bada, seeing her breathing heavier with her gaze turning darker every second. You look closer and see her fists clenching and unclenching repeatedly. Blowing a teasing kiss towards her, you look forward again and step closer to Monika.

Bada breathes out a laugh at your audacity, not actually thinking you’d be bold enough to do this shit in front of her. She licks her lips before biting her bottom lip. She puts her hands in her pockets and walks over to a booth, staring at you the entire time. Bada relaxes, knowing nobody will ever compare to her. You’re probably just in a mood again.

You can feel her burning stare as you move your hips, Monika’s hands guiding you against her. You don’t know how many drinks you’ve had. All you know is that you’ve been taking Monika’s whenever she gets more from her friends. A new song comes on, making the entire club hype. Gone was the sexy, slow dancing type of vibe. Everybody was jumping around, screaming and yelling as they let go. You were no exception as you let go of Monika, opting to finally let loose. Your hair bounces with you as you jump and push through the crowd.

You look towards Bada’s direction, wanting to tease her a bit more. You see her still staring daggers at you before she smirks. She leans back and manspreads, tilting her head at you.

Gulping, you turn your body around, still keeping an eye on her. You then bring a hand towards your ass and grab it, hoping to rile Bada up. Before you could see a reaction, people started jumping around again. You laughed as you joined them, momentarily forgetting your plan.

Your body takes a quick screenshot as you feel somebody grab your waist. Turning around, you felt a little relieved and also a little scared to see Bada. “Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” You said jokingly, dragging out the word.

Bada stared at you, not saying anything. After a couple of minutes, you heard her voice. “Let’s go.” She demanded, not leaving any room for anything else other than obedience.

You found some room anyways. “Nuh uh..” You said with a smile. “I’m having fun here.”

Bada turned back towards you, previously turning away so she could walk you out. “Why are you so bratty today, hm?” Bada asked, her voice filled with annoyance.

“I’m not even being bratty. I’m just here to have fun and you’re here to ruin it.” You said, looking away. Your gaze found Monika’s as she made her way over.

Bada rolled her eyes as Monika approached. She tried to take your hand to lead you out but you avoided contact.

Monika stared at you, completely ignoring Bada. “I can’t seem to take my eyes off of you. Let’s go have some fun, yeah?”

You giggled, looking towards Bada before staring back at her. “Sure. Let me get some drinks first.”

Before Monika could say anything, Bada forcefully took your arm. She bumped shoulders with her, making sure Monika stumbled a bit.

You whispered to Monika as you walked by her. “Me personally…..I would not take that.” Your goal was to rile her up and in turn, rile Bada up. It didn’t work as Monika just laughed it off, opting to walk away.

You scrunched your eyebrows together in disappointment, hoping to at least get some amount of drama. Sighing, you let Bada drag you before you decide to poke fun at her.

“Why does your face look like you’re constipated?” You teased, feeling her grip tighten as her nails dig into you. Wincing, you continue talking. “No need to get all mad. I was just having some fun since somebody can’t make time for me..”

Bada rolled her eyes, ignoring your comments as you both finally approached her car.

She stayed silent as she all but threw you into the passenger seat, slamming the door. She makes quick work as she hurries to the driver's side.

“Why are you mad? YOU ignored ME.” You say sassily, leaning your head on the window.

She continued to ignore you, starting the car. She doesn’t look at you once as she starts driving.

“I’m the one that should be mad..” You mumble. You didn’t expect her to hear it, but seeing as her grip on the steering wheel tightened with her knuckles turning white, you could tell that she was holding herself back.

You continued. “Surprised you even noticed my post instead of hanging with Tatter and them.” You specifically single out Tatter’s name, knowing Bada was especially close with her.

Bada bit her tongue, completely over it. She pulled over on the side of the road, unbuckling herself. She looked over at your confused face.

“You’ve been awfully bold today, baby.” She said, picking you up and setting you on her lap. She made sure to set her chair back a little. “I had a feeling I’d have to use this today..” Bada whispered, grinding you ever so gently on her lap, making you feel the bulge under her cargos.

Bada looked up at you, gripping your hips. “Maybe you need to get fucked, right? That’s why you’re acting like this..” Bada bit her lip and continued, making sure to keep direct eye contact. “You just needed me to make you feel good again.”

You whimpered. “Are you gonna do something or not? I think I got Monika’s number in case I needed somebody else..”

Bada breathed through her nose harshly before switching your positions, you back against the laid out seat. “Learn your place before I fuck you into it.” She leaned down and whispered into your ear. Her hot breath making you shiver. She then bit the top of it as she moved back, kneeling between your legs.

“And what’s with signaling out Tatter?” Bada said casually as she started grinding her hips into yours.

“What’s with always hanging out with her and the rest of them?” You shoot back, trying not to buck your hips. You dig your nails into the seat as you shy away from her eyes.

Bada giggled in disbelief. Her hand cupped your cheek in faux innocence. “You should know by now that my eyes are only on you.” Her tone started to change as the hand cupping your cheek started to grip your jaw. “Stop being a fucking brat.” Bada spat as she stopped grinding on you, using her hands to trace the outline of your bra. “And going out like this? This isn’t even a fucking top.” She said, slapping the side of your bra-clad boob.

Your half-lidded eyes looked up at her, drinking in the way her teeth were digging into her lip harshly. “Doesn’t it look cute?” You say with a giggle before your eyes widen. The hand holding your jaw trailed towards your neck. You started to say something until you were interrupted by her giggle.

Bada was going to hold your neck, but you just kept talking. She was starting to get annoyed so she shoved two of her fingers inside of your mouth, effectively shutting you up. Her other hand trailed your body, running between your cleavage. She got to the band of your skirt, running her long fingers over the patterns. Her fingers went further down your throat, making you gag with your eyes watering.

“I love it when you’re quiet baby.” She said, focusing on your skirt. Her hands abruptly landed on your waist, turning you over so your stomach is on the seat. She unclasps your bra, throwing it somewhere in the back.

“Do you have to be this dramatic?” You sighed into the seat, moving uncomfortably. You felt her hands trail your back, almost giving you a massage with the way she was pressing into you.

“Shut the fuck up.” She said before you heard the sound of rustling. You felt her flip your skirt up, not even bothering to take it off. “You’re already so wet…this is what you wanted, right?” You felt her pause, waiting for your answer.

You turned your head to the side, making sure you could see her. “Mhm…” You said, avoiding her eyes out of embarrassment.

“Good girl.” Bada mumbled before palming your ass in both of her palms. She bit her lip, smacking it as she watched it jiggle. “Love your ass so much baby. Wanna have it on me forever..”

You whined, pushing your hips against her. That’s when you realized the rustling you heard was her moving her cargos down just enough to where her strap was out. Your body stuttered, feeling the tip of it hit your clothed cunt.

Bada muttered something you couldn’t understand. She then spoke louder as she gripped her strap. “Spread your legs a lil more baby…there you go angel.”

She held the strap in her left hand while her right hand was still gripping your ass. The tip of it teasingly poked your cunt through your panties. Bada gasped subtly, loving the string of wetness that connected them even with the fabric in the way. “God…such a needy little thing aren’t you, angel?”

You rolled your eyes, pushing your body back so she could understand what you wanted. Bada chuckled at you as you proved her right. She gave a light smack to your ass and pulled your panties aside, letting the tip of her strap hit your clit.

Bada’s eyes almost rolled back at your whoreish moan paired with your cunt very obviously clenching around nothing. She started to spread your wetness everywhere with each pass of her strap, wanting to be as sloppy as possible. She ignored your whines as she took her time. She carefully smacked your clit with the tip of her strap, making you moan into the seat.

“Wanna feel you fill me up..” You mumble, trying to look back at her.

“Gotta be patient princess. I’ll fuck you real good, don’t worry.” Bada mumbled, teasing your hole with the tip. She would put it in and pull it out, not giving you the satisfaction of actually being filled up.

She slowly eased into you, letting you feel every detail on her strap before she was completely inside you. You heard her sigh as she stayed still, not moving.

Pushing back onto her, you began to fuck yourself because you couldn’t bother to wait for her to do something. Your cunt was wet, wanting to be used, so you did it yourself.

Before you could actually get a good pace, you felt Bada’s hand snake up your back before finding its place in your hair. She pulled harshly, snapping your head up as you stopped. Your moan was loud and shameless, your cunt gushing around her strap.

“Whatchu think you’re doing baby?” Bada leaned over your body to mumble in your ear. “Hm? Who said you could fuck yourself like that?” She still hasn’t moved herself, letting you warm her strap. When you didn’t answer her, her grip on your hair turned harsher as she finally started thrusting into you. It was slow, deliberate. She wanted to make you desperate for more.

Your mouth opened as your eyes watered a little, still feeling the pain of her strap stretching you out. You bit the seat, letting yourself be used by her.

Her pace picked up, as the hand that was gripping your ass now played with your breasts. “I fucking love your body. So pretty for me. You like when I fuck you like this? Yeah?” Your moans made her go slightly faster. “I know, angel…” She mumbled off-handedly, making sure she hit your sweet spot that had you mewling.

Bada laughed as she kept fucking you. “Awe. My poor baby. You gonna cum already? Gonna make a mess all over my cock?”

You whimpered, loving that she referred to her strap as her cock. Your cunt clenched around her, feeling the grip she had on your hair tighten. Your eyes closed momentarily, trying to find something to say. “I- fuck Bada…gonna cum.” You finally moaned out. “Gonna make a mess..”

Bada hummed, speeding up. She played with your breasts gently. The difference between that and her rough fucking made your head spin. All you could hear was the sound of skin slapping, panting, and Bada’s little mumbles.

You could feel yourself about to let go, before Bada abruptly stopped. You couldn’t stop yourself from whining. You could tell that orgasm was going to be strong. Your watery eyes now let tears fall, mixing with the drool on your chin.

“You’ve been such a brat, baby. I can’t just let you cum like that.” Bada mumbled, pretending to be sad that she couldn’t let you orgasm. You didn’t say anything, opting instead to whine into the seat. You didn’t notice when she moved the both of you in the back seat, nor did you notice the way you were now on your back.

You didn’t really notice anything except the feeling of being full again. Your eyes widened in confusion at the fast intrusion, before looking at Bada. She was already looking at you with that annoying smirk of hers. Her bangs sticking to her forehead as she slowly rolled her body into yours.

“You just can’t help yourself, huh?” Bada said, making sure your eyes stayed on her. She had one hand on your waist, with the other trailing towards your neck again. Bada leaned over your body, the difference in size clear. She put her hand around your neck, slowly putting her body weight on that arm to choke you. “I love when you cry for me princess..”

Bada wasn’t looking at you anymore, but instead focused on the tears that fell from your eyes. She started kissing each drop, making sure to let her tongue come out a little too. You whimpered at her actions, hazy eyes looking anywhere but at her. The hand wrapped around your neck felt good, but you were slowly losing breath the more weight she put onto it.

“Bada—“ You had the remaining breath knocked out of you as she picked up her pace, returning back to her previous position. Bada was enticed by the way your breasts jiggled with each thrust. This made her go harder, fucking you into the seat unintentionally. Every roll of her hips into your cunt had your body moving. Your hands were everywhere, trying to find something to grasp onto.

One went towards her hair, and the other got pinned down by your waist by Bada. “Fuck..fuck angel you look so pretty like this. Love the way you look so ruined cause of me—“ Bada cut herself off as she gave a particularly rough thrust. She groaned as she did so, the other side of the strap hitting her clit perfectly.

She leaned down again, this time aiming for your breasts. Her mouth was all over you, giving kisses and sucking anywhere she could get. Her thrusts got faster, wanting to feel your breasts jiggle against her. She sucked your nipples, making sure her teeth grazed the tip of them each time she pulled her strap out. The hand holding your neck moved downwards, wanting to palm your ass.

Your long, drawn out moan showed Bada that you were going to cum…very soon. She hummed against your nipple before pulling herself up. “Gonna make a mess, hm? I don’t know if I should let you..” Bada giggled, loving the fear in your eyes.

“Please Bada…won’t be a brat again.” You mumbled breathlessly, letting out more drool. Your fucked out expression and hazy eyes almost convinced Bada. Almost.

She pretended to think about it for a second, feeling it get harder to fuck into you. “Maybe you should beg some more…”

“Please please please….I’ll do anything I swear. I’ll never be a brat again Bada. Please make me feel good. Wanna cream on your strap..”

Bada bit her lip, fucking into you a couple more times. She could feel you about to lose control, so she stopped. Her eyes sparkled as you sobbed. “Maybe if you weren’t such a brat..” Bada pulled her strap out slowly as to tease you. She pulled your body up, cupping your face in her hands. “I’ll make you feel good when we get home okay baby? Until then, we should talk about how bratty you were.”

She took the strap off, cleaned it before putting it somewhere secure. She started to clean you up, hesitating when she saw how red and puffy your cunt was. She really wanted to taste you, but she also wanted to edge you for your actions. She ended up ignoring her neediness to finish cleaning you up. Bada sat you on her lap, looking up at you.

“Are you jealous of how much time I’m spending with others? Or do you maybe feel unwanted?” Bada asked, paying close attention to your expressions.

“So now you wanna pay attention?” You ask with sass. You scoffed jokingly as she tried to make eye contact.

You avoided her eyes, opting to look at the..fogged up windows? You ignored it before you opened your mouth. “You don't pay enough attention to me…it feels like we’re not even in a relationship.”

Bada smiled and wrapped her arms around your waist, making you scoot closer to her. She put her hand on your head and guided it towards her chest. “You’re the only one I ever want, angel. I’ll make sure to spend more time with you, okay? Nobody will ever compare to you, I promise.”

“I know they won’t.” You say with even more sass, rolling your eyes. “I just don’t like how close you are with your team…especially Tatter.” You mumble into her shirt.

Bada took a deep breath, holding you tighter. “Tatter and the rest of them don’t have anything on you baby. You’re my goddess. The only one for me.”

You smiled slightly, loving how reassuring she is. “Do you promise to pay more attention to me?” You leaned up and looked at her.

Bada held out her pinky. “I pinky promise, princess.” You looked at her pinky weirdly.

“You’re so childish..” You say jokingly, hooking your pinky with hers. “Can we go home?” You asked, looking around the car in faux curiosity, hiding the fact that the only reason you wanted to go home was to finally cum.

She smirked and smacked your ass. “You’re such a naughty little thing, aren’t you?”

You both looked at each other, with Bada smirking before moving back up to the front. Bada looked at you one more time, seeing how hard you were squeezing your legs.

“Poor you…” Bada thought. She was going to have fun with you before she actually let you orgasm.

You looked towards her when you heard her giggle, side-eyeing her in distrust. “She’s definitely up to something.” You thought, sighing in disappointment at the inevitable teasing.

A/N: Bada is an ASS GIRL and loves sloppy sex idc what you guys say talk to a wall.

Also I’m ngl, I had hella trouble writing this cause I kept giggling at the words “boob” and “jiggle” LMAO

[suuuupernovaaa]

Accident

Timothee accidentally posts a picture of you, blowing your cover.

The panic sets in like ice flowing through your veins. A tingling at your fingertips shoots straight into your heart. Your eyes are wide, your palms are sweaty. It takes you a few seconds to open up FaceTime and dial his number.

He answers right away.

“Timothee, what did you do?” you ask, your voice low in case he isn’t alone. Your boyfriend is never alone.

The smile he had upon answering fades into something dark. “What?” he asks.

“Instagram,” you reply. “Look at your instagram story.”

When he disappears, you do too, going back to the story. It’s a picture of you perched on a stone wall, looking down the side of a mountain Timothee and you had just hiked. You hadn’t even known he’d just taken it. Your hair was stuck to your neck with sweat, and only part of your face is visible over your shoulder, as you turn to look at him.

His hand is on your shoulder, gripping tightly, possessively, and a hint of a smile plays at the half of your face that’s visible.

You’re wearing one of his t-shirts, an old, plain black one, and the sunset ahead of you makes the picture look like art.

Maybe no one will assume, or wonder. Timothee isn’t even really in it. Just hand.

“Shit, Y/N,” he says, and you swipe back to FaceTime. “Should I delete it?”

“Um… no. Well, maybe. I think people will talk more if you delete it. Maybe just leave it?”

It’s not like he tagged you. You’re not in his following list, because no one is. You’re a total unknown.

“Okay,” he says, the panic in his voice subsiding. “I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “You don’t have to be sorry. It was an accident. And you can’t hide me forever.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re hiding you. I’m protecting you.”

A soft smile crosses your lips. “I know.”

He winks. “I gotta go, but I’ll have management keep an eye on things online. Call me after work?”

You nod and he blows you a kiss before hanging up.

—

Boy, were you wrong. You’ve been wrong about some things in your life, but never something this big.

They’ve found your instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn within two hours. You’re getting dozens of requests by the minute, and you’ve never been more grateful to have your socials private before.

The workday passes in a blur of buzzing on your phone. Most of it is follow requests on instagram, but the rest is your friends and family sending you articles about Timothee Chalamet’s ‘mystery girl revealed’.

Timothee Chalamet & the Lawyer from NYC

Timothee Chalamet’s Secret Lover

Timmy’s girlfriend: we talked to her childhood best friend!

It’s endless and you start requesting they stop sending all the nonsense your way. Your mom calls to ask if you’re okay, and your actual best friend reminds you that you knew this day would come, and she’s here for you.

The comments on his latest instagram post are hard to look away from.

user he’s dating that sweaty beast?

user she looks happy!

user who the hell is she???

user FAT GIRLFRIEDN??

reply to user fuck off with your misspelled fatphobia

Eventually, you put your phone on DND to finish your day. The subway ride home is uneventful, and as soon as you set foot in your modest apartment, you call Timothee.

“Well,” he says as an answer, “now I might have to say sorry.”

Despite the stress of the day, you have to laugh. “Maybe. But, this was going to happen anyway. Though one article called me a ‘social climbing hussy’ and I didn’t love that.”

You throw your bag onto the kitchen table and put your boyfriend on speaker phone so you can find something to order for dinner. This day calls for Thai, or maybe Indian.

“Don’t read that shit, Y/N,” he huffs. “None of it matters. I’m like, really sorry people are going to bother you now. But I’m not sorry that everyone is going to find out how in love and happy I am.”

Your cheeks heat, even though he can’t see you. It hasn’t even been a year, but Timothee is already the most special and wonderful thing in your life, and it’s no wonder when he says things like that.

“I wish you were here,” you sigh.

“Me too. Only a few more days.”

—

You stashed your phone in your room to charge, and to avoid, and turned on the TV. Sitting cross-legged in front of your coffee table in your most comfortable pajamas, you’re about to dig in to the most delicious spread of Indian cuisine when the door buzzes.

Could they have found your address?

You get up and press the speaker. “Let me in! You’re not answering your phone!”

Your heart skips a beat and you’re unable to even respond as you hit the button that unlocks the front door. You stand frozen in shock until three loud knocks sound at the door.

Once it’s open, there he stands, and he’s not empty handed. He’s got what looks to be two dozen beautifully arranged roses along with a giant bag full of what you assume is chocolate and candy.

You grab him by the collar and pull him to you, wrapping your arms around his neck. It’s been weeks since you’ve seen him, and the scent of him erases every bad thing that’s happened in the past 12 hours.

It’s worth it, your mind whispers.

He sets the flowers and gifts down on the kitchen counter. “I did something, and I don’t know if you’re going to like it, but let me explain,” he says, a wincing smile on his lips.

You bring his face to yours for a quick kiss. “I don’t care. I’m so glad you’re here.”

He takes out his phone and hands it to you. It’s unlocked already, and instagram is open.

He’s made a new post, and your heart flutters.

It’s a picture from a few months ago, taken at a friend’s house. You’re sitting on the kitchen counter, and Timothee stands between your legs, both of you laughing, his hands in your hair and yours on his hips. You hadn’t even known your friend had taken it at the time, but it’s been his phone background ever since, he loves it so much.

The caption is simple. “Happy.”

Your reaction surprises you as tears gather in your eyes. “They’re going to really come after me now.”

“I know. And I am sorry. But, Y/N, I know privacy is important to us both… but sometimes, I just want to talk about how happy I am. I think we can find a balance.”

He wipes a tear from your eye.

“I’m proud to be yours, Timothee,” you reply, and his smile stretches ear to ear. “Really, really proud. I love you. I just want to be careful, okay?”

He kisses your nose, then each cheek, and pulls you into a tight embrace. “I’ll do whatever it takes to protect this, Y/N,” he whispers, and you squeeze him tight.

You’ll navigate this together.

[egg-but-with-style]

HEADCANONS WITH THE BOYSSSS!!!!

My last post did pretty well, and if people like it, I figured I might as well try my hand at some more!!!!

Gaz

This guy literally has the best skin in the world, it's like looking at something carved from marble, everytime you ask about his skincare routine, he just says genetics.

He detests anything made with cinnamon, his older sister once made him try a pie she made, and by the time he was done eating it, he was literally coughing up cinnamon. Didn't say anything though, couldn't be mean to his sister like that.

HE CANNOT SIT STILL!! Gaz and soap are literally the most energetic people on base. Except Price finds Gaz charming and soap less so...

Also I for some reason think he smells like oranges and mangos???

(edited after I saw a tiktok about climate change) GAZ IS SUPER VOCAL ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE, all of the boys care to some degree (get it?) but Gaz brings hard facts and evidence everytime he talks about it, Price is now worried for Gaz's mental health

Price

Where to start? Maybe with the fact he has duplicates of his hats he keeps in his office drawer. Ghost went in there one time to give Price a report and saw Price open his Hat Drawer. Ghost had never seen so many hats

If some of y'all didn't know, if you have a low tolerance to cigars and breathe in too much of the smoke, you'll get sick. So, Price keeps a puking trash can just for the people that come into his office. Is he gonna stop smoking to prevent people from losing their lunch? Never.

When he's not on duty he wears the stupid Hawaiian shirts that middle aged dads wear on vacation. Also cargo shorts. Cause they're tactical

Soap

Again, he cannot sit still. He'll wake up in the middle of the night and you'll find him in the armory tinkering with an explosive, and even then he gets up every couple minutes just to pace around

He is very meticulous about his hair. Every morning he wakes up just a little bit earlier then everyone else and hair gels that baby into place. It does not move. It could probably be as effective as a military grade helmet at that point.

THIS MAN DRAWS PORN AND POSTS IT ON TWITTER!!! He uses an alias of course, and a very well hidden drawing tablet when he's on duty. Just ignore the fact that alot of the men he draws look just a tad bit like ghost. Just a little.

Also, while all of the COD men love a woman (or man) with meat on their bones, soap is feral. Chubby chaser all the way. There's also something really hot about a person being around his height and not taking his shit.

Ghost

He has horrible acne under that mask. It's actually awful how much he goes through just to keep it on. He's done skincare, moisturizing, pimple patches, everything, and nothing work. The worst part is, he thinks the mask is so cool it's worth it

This man is an actual dork. (Idea by @ghouljams) this guy definitely makes those little miniatures. The little details he puts into every bit of his work, whether it's wood grain, the look of water, he just does it all with such skill. The plus side is that it keeps his brain at bay, not thinking and more focused on what's in front of him. He also likes DND. Go figure.

I also do like the idea of trans ghost. He understands what it was like before he transitioned and feeling ashamed of his size when he used to be forced into the stereotype of what a woman should look like. So when people fuck with you about your size, he's right behind you like he's gonna kill them.

Authors note: the only thing I'm afraid of as I start writing is 1. The fan fic author curse, and 2. People actually paying attention to me, my anxiety is gonna kill me, lol. Anyway, hope y'all are having a great day!!! Bye!!!

[dollarstoreartsupplies]

day 2: party - @lautski-week

get it.,, like a..,,.,,, dnd party.,.,.,..,,

i straight up gasped when i realized i could use this as an excuse to talk about my lautski dnd au, so, if ur interested im gonna go feral about it below the cut:

steph: half-elven fighter

solomon lauter is a deeply corrupt, incredibly magical high elven king whose maintained his rule through intense dealings with the pantheon of the lords in black

he married a human woman at some point in his rule and he does love her, at first, just not as much as his power

so when the lords in black make him promise to sacrifice her in the name of some deal, he's sort of upset but... obviously he's gonna do it, she was gonna die before him anyway, it's not like it's a huge deal to let her die a little early, his subjects will think it was a squishy human life span thing, bada bing bada boom, hands clean of the whole affair

BUT.... then his wife gets pregnant and has a Stephanie... which kinda fucks shit up because said Stephanie is still fucking there after his wife has been sacrificed

he hates her, partially because she's a half-elf and partially because of what she represents, and she hates him, which results in her having very few boundaries because he doesn't want to deal with her

she's still a princess, and she's surrounded by high elves who think she's stupid and inferior because she's only a half elf and she has very little magical prowess, so it's not exactly ideal circumstances even with her extra freedoms

so she learns to punch things

because if people are dicks she can't outwit them but she can deck them

eventually the lords in black offer another trade with her dad where he can trade her for extra magic, but mostly it's just a test to prove his loyalty and he is honestly more than happy to get rid of her

except steph gets wind of it (because she's generally close with the kind of people who fucking hate the king/don't get treated with enough respect for people to not gossip around them) and she runs the fuck away

so now she's being chased down by her father who is facing pressure from the libs for not making the sacrifice, all the while experiencing actual respect and freedom for the first time from her party members

pete: teifling warlock-wizard multiclass

so you know that post thats like it's ethically ambiguous but you can hand off any cursed object to a baby? that's pete's whole thing in this kind of

ted, his full human older brother, was a intentional patron of tinky, who hadn't really thought it through and tried to get out of it by making a stupid promise and really just ended up dooming himself and his unborn brother (he felt really bad about it before he disappeared under mysterious circumstances, tho)

pete was born with a warlock pact to tinky (which was pretty obvious when his full human parents created a bright yellow teifling baby)

he hates tinky and is very uncomfortable and upset by the whole thing, so he multi classed into wizard shit when he was, like, eleven

tinky actively attempts to prevent him from gaining levels in wizard

he lies about being only a wizard and has spent years coming up for excuses about why a lot of his 'wizard spells' are very specifically warlock ones if someone asks (literally no one has ever noticed or questioned it)

because he was born with the pact bond tinky's hold over him is way stronger, and if he really submits (when shit gets super bad) tinky can take over his body and puppet him into doing some fucked up violent shit

he is truly treated like SHIT for being a teifling in his home town and it really minimizes a lot of his academic prospects, even though he's so smart, so part of the reason why he's traveling with his party is to try and find a real wizarding academy that will take him

(and one that can maybe help break his pact with tinky)

Bonus:

Ruth: human rouge who desperately wants to be a bard, but she's too nervous to perform and ironically, tragically hiding the fuck out in the shadows comes a lot easier

Richie: firbolg artificer -- he's pretty bad with the magical aspects of anything, but he builds a lot of cool ass machinery to make up for it (even if, god, hes SO upset by how bad he is at magic)

Grace: High Elven Cleric who WILL become a fucked up little warlock to the lords in black eventually (she is from steph's kingdom and followed her when she ran away to 'protect her'. Steph has been trying to shake her this whole time)

[papermonkeyism]

I think I'm finally starting to recover, after a few years of artistic dry season.

The plague was a big hit, then losing my job and finally my social life collapsing once my IRL DnD group basically disbanded pretty much destroyed what creative juiced I had always lived on up to that point, and it's been HARD to just not having any desire to be creative or do anything.

But now that I have a job again, and have had it for long enough my bank account is stable, and having been adopted into a new DnD group that's active both in-game (weekly game sessions!) and outside of it (we actually talk and communicate generally as well! It's mostly online, but it's still more than I've had in years), I have started to feel more like myself again. That, and the brain meds. I can't overstate how big it is that my default doesn't have to be brain fog anymore.

Like, I'm doing evening doodles again? I'm actually having fun thinking up creatures and characters and plots again? I stopped carrying my sketchbook and pencil case with me everywhere I went during my dry stint of nothing, but now I actually feel like I'm missing it when I don't have it on me at times, like during coffee shop visits.

And I kinda... want to MAKE a thing again.

(Just thinking out loud again, pay no mind.)

I miss having a Project.

Jumping back into making fully plotted out comic feels a bit too much at this stage, though, so I probably won't dedicate myself wholely to something of that scale.

I don't know what exactly will be the final shape of Arcanth's eventual thing, but I'm currently enjoying myself in the fiddly worldbuilding stage. (And just so you know, in the slight off chance that I might maybe pick Wurr back up again some day, I probably won't tell you about it. After all this time and all the messages I've gotten, I don't trust you guys with that one anymore. Even if I would eventually get back to posting it online, it won't happen untill I have a full year's worth of buffer and that would still be a loooooooong way from now even IF I got back to it full time, and I still have that day job besides anyway.)

But what if...

I think an art book or a zine or something might be more achievable at this point.

I feel like the dinosaur project thingy needs some more fiddling with its eventual format (I know I already have enough concept doodles to fill a zine on its own, but I crave an excuse to go ham with watercolors and make full illustrations), but it's one option I still want to make eventually.

And I kinda want to do a slight redesign for the Singing People. (I bought a skull replica a while ago that had narrower snout than how I had drawn them. And I know it doesn't matter that much, and I can always invoke artistic licence and "they aren't necessarily supposed to be any specific real life dinosaur species, it could always go with the 'undiscovered' route if I feel like it and the Troodon/Stenonychosaurus material is super fragmentary anyway", but I'm pretty sure it would bother me anyway if I didn't at least try it out and see how it looked.)

Though I think I got an idea about what to do with Entica!

Those of you who've been here a while know that one started out as my pandemic project. The world had just shut down along with my job warehouse, things were still new and uncertain, and I suddenly had so much free time and not much to sink my creative juices into, and I wanted something low pressure to do.

So I dug up an old setting from my teenage years two decades ago, gave it a facelift, threw out my teenage baggage and just ran wild. No planning, no plot, just art.

The "no planning" part did get back to bite me when the morbs eventually hit and I finally ran out of the creative juices, but that's still a lot of very good material, right there, ready to use.

But I just thought of a new framing device that would work with the already existing material AND give the character more of a goal and agency to make plotting more fun! And I think I like it.

Instead of a random scribe with no background from a place I didn't bother designing who just wants to see the world, Didor now works for a library that has sent her on a mission [to document something and/or take a message to *place*]. She still wants to see the world, but now she has a background, goal and a motive to do so!

And instead of just hanging around at Maaro's cart while Maaro does her own unrelated thing, Maaro is actively helping in her goal! While also doing her job.

I feel that having Didor be on a field work mission would give it more structure while not having to technically retcon anything already existing, and gives more solid excuse to do things than "random encounter number 82" would. Also potential reasons for further adventures ("While you're already out there, could you maybe also do X on the way?")

Also I want to insert nawani in it earlier. I didn't even have them as part of the setting untill psrt way through, and I want to show them off more.

Maybe a travel journal, perhaps?

[chaoticneutralgood2627]

Advice to College Students (From someone who's trying to apply for a master's program)

Note that these are in no particular order and from my own particular experience. I will add if I think of more.

TAKE NOTES ON EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY IF YOU FIND IT COOL: your brain will tell you 'I'll remember that fact, it's so neat!' Your brain is a BITCH. You will not remember SHIT. Take ALL the notes. If you can record your classes, even better!

Write down who your professors are for each class. Make a big document. All the years. Write them. Write down their vibes and if you like them. Write down what sort of assignments they gave. Because I'm over here trying desperately to remember which professors I had multiple classes with so I can beg them for recommendations.

Save your assignments. Even if they're horribly cringey. You can use this to gauge how far you've come. I know it hurts your soul. I have fanfic from when I was 12. Do it anyway.

When they tell you the grad school shit, pay attention. Even if you don't plan to go back to school. Because I didn't listen and now I have changed my mind and I have no recollection of that section of school.

Networking. Gather contacts from your classmates. If for no other reason than because you think they're intimidating and you don't want your LinkedIn to look depressing. They're probably just as intimidated by you. And if not, you can pretend they are.

College is not high school. Next to no one has friends at first. Everyone is a disaster. Talk to people. You might not find Your People in your first friend group. That's fine. There are people there somewhere that can make life less awful. The worst they can say is no, you can't be friends with us (and most people aren't that bitchy). The universe is big and no one is judging you harder than you are.

It's not that friends Can't Live Together, it's that people have different organization styles and needs for survival and sometimes those Do Not Mesh. If you're going to live with someone, make sure that you have talked about things.

Everything can go on a resume if you word it right. Editing a friend's paper? Congrats, you have editing and tutoring experience. Playing DND on weekends? Cooperation and teambuilding to work towards a common goal, sometimes in the face of creative differences (your friends want to Fight Everything and you want to Stay Alive (or reversed)). EVERYTHING CAN GO ON A RESUME.

There are so many resources on campus. Use them, for the love of god because then you're going to be an adultier adult and realize that there is not a med center right across the campus.

Find what motivates you. Mine is spite, I am applying to grad school to get out of retail and to spite 2 specific supervisors. Cling to that when you want to drop out and quit.

There is not a specific route to take in college. Or out of college. Listen to yourself rather than everyone's advice (I am aware that this is ironic to be on an advice post).

If you think you can wake up at 9 after like 4 hours of sleep, that is the devil talking to you. Go to bed.

On the same note. I am aware that you woke up at like 5 for high school. You will not want to exist before noon. 8 am classes are not illegal, but they should be.

Take care of yourself. You're paying a shit ton of money to be there, you can take an hour to eat the food. Plus, if you take care of yourself, then you will work better.

There will be weird shit happening all over. Just roll with it. Unless it's hurting someone or has the potential to hurt someone (my one friend got stalked).

You are not required to stay somewhere social if it's creeping you the fuck out or if you aren't comfy. I think I went to a single party in my entire college life and I hid in the corner with their illegal kitten the whole time.

Speaking of illegal kittens. If you know someone has an illegal kitten, no the fuck you do not. There probably will be at least one. And you do not know about it.

[thornsnvultures]

anywhere || eddie munson x plus size!reader

cw: angst, talking about drug usage, eddie's in the hospital post-vecna, your mom kinda fuckin sucks, best friend!eddie who likes you more than you realize

a/n: that one line in the muppet babies theme song fucks me up every time. literally every time I hear it I tear up. so thanks for that jim henson.

-----

"When your world looks kinda weird and you wish you weren't there," Eddie's terrible Kermit impression makes you laugh so hard you almost spill the bowl of cereal you're pouring. You hit him back with your equally terrible baby Miss Piggy voice.

"Just close your eyes and make believe that you could be anywhere!"

Eddie snorts at the way your voice cracks trying to hit notes your voice was not made to hit.

"Shut up, that was flawless and you know it," you hand Eddie his bowl with a grin and plop down on the couch next to him. Were you watching cartoons made for children? Yes, but who didn't love Kermit the Frog and his adorable little muppet friends?

You missed this, being here with Eddie. A lot had changed since you started going to college last year while Eddie stayed behind to be a senior for a third time, but not this. Your friendship never changed. It was something you treasured coming home to, when you could. School was starting to pile up and these visits were becoming few and far between, but Eddie would always be your Eddie. You were sure of it.

"So you're leading up Hellfire now, huh?," you asked Eddie as you finished your cereal. He took your bowl and put it on the coffee table with his, not meeting your eyes. Maybe you shouldn't have brought it up. The two of you didn't talk about it much, him still being in school. Like you didn't want to break the spell that everything was normal. The two of you hanging out like normal, like you did since you were kids. It was comfortable, you didn't want to ruin that.

"Yeah the, uh...yeah. It's up to me now I guess. The guys know they can't compete with my campaigns."

He's smiling, all cocky because it's true, they're always amazing. But his smile doesn't quite reach his eyes.

Weren't your just saying nothing had changed? Maybe you a lot had changed and you just weren't paying attention.

"I miss adventuring with you," you sigh, snuggling into Eddie's side until he puts his arm over your shoulder. "And the guys."

"Yeah, they miss you too," Eddie's voice sounds strained. You try to move thinking you're laying on him in a weird way, but he just pulls you closer, tighter.

You spend the rest of the morning watching cartoons. Eventually you forget the weird tension, putting it aside to enjoy your day with your best friend before you have to leave again.

-----

It's a year before you see Eddie again.

School was tough, taking up so much of your free time you barely saw anyone besides the librarian and the two people you shared a dorm room with. You had tried to join a DnD club at school but your schedule didn't line up well with the rest of the group. And it wasn't the same. You missed Eddie's energy, his frantic dramatics. The guys were cool but sticklers for rules and, to put it nicely, boring.

You couldn't take being away from home any longer, you missed your friend.

So when your mom called one Friday afternoon and told you, in her own bizarre and nonchalant way, that Eddie had been in some trouble recently and, "I'm sure you saw the news about the earthquakes," you came straight home.

"You know, I always thought he was a nice boy. Did you know he was selling... grass," your mom whispered the last word like police officers would be knocking down her door if she spoke too loud.

"I didn't." You did. You also partook, but your mother didn't need to know that.

"Anyway, everyone got all upset when that little cheerleader died, but when they found him, like that, I guess they thought he was a victim too. Can't maul yourself like that, that's for sure."

"Oh my god, mom," you stand up, your chair harshly scraping against the linoleum. You can't sit here and listen to this any more.

"Where are you going? I have a pie in the oven."

Your mom follows you to the door, huffing like you're the one being ridiculous. She never liked Eddie much but the ease with which she talks about your childhood best friend being... mauled...

"I'll be back later."

You don't wait for her to respond, slamming the door as you go. You hop in the hand-me-down car your dad gave you before you left for school, peeling down the drive and heading straight for the hospital like you should've done when you got back. Tears cloud the edges of your vision until they spill over, you don't bother wiping them away.

-----

"Hey, you're Eddie's girl."

"Excuse me?"

A short, curly haired boy in a baseball cap appears next to you when you ask the receptionist where Eddie's room is located.

"It's okay, Brenda. She's with me." You snort out a laugh when the boy tips his hat to the woman behind the desk. Her smile and the wave of her hand tells you she is in fact used to this.

"I'm Dustin," the kid explains as you follow him through the maze of hallways and elevators. "Eddie's told me a lot about you. Recognized you from the picture he thinks I don't know about in his glove box. Not my fault he just shoves stuff in there. If he didn't want everything to spill out he should organize. Not that I'm great at organizing either-"

"I'm sorry," you stop Dustin's rambling, your head spinning from all that information, narrowing in on the one that stuck. "He keeps my picture in his van?"

"Yeah a few in his room too. He's just down here. You just missed the guys, Jeff had to go to work and he was their ride so they left. Wayne will be in later. He usually stops by after work."

Dustin kept talking and you tried to keep up but the closer you got to Eddie's room the more your ears rang and your chest felt tight. You knew it was bad, he'd been in for a few days and was still heavily sedated after a number of surgeries. Wayne told you the day before you came back on the phone that he might not be awake when you got here. The old man might've been trying to spare you the trip, but you were coming to see him no matter what. You should've come back a long time ago.

Standing outside his room now, the year you were away felt like an eternity now. How had your Eddie changed? Was he your Eddie anymore? Was he ever yours?

"Hey, you comin' in? He's still sleeping."

Steeling yourself with one deep breath, you enter Eddie's room. With one look at Eddie and you're asking Dustin for a minute alone, pulling up a chair by his side.

"Sorry I'm late, Eddie. Traffic coming out of the city is crazy." You laugh at your stupid joke because you'll cry if you do anything else. You don't think about the air tube in his nose or the beeping heart monitor, the bandages on his arms or how hollow, how fragile he looks.

"My mom said you've been selling 'grass'," you chuckle as you twist one of his curls around your finger. "Should I tell her how many times I snuck out to smoke with you? She's already mad at me for taking time off from school to be here."

Eddie lays there as you talk, sleeping softly as you compliment the cards and flowers on the window sill. You tell him how the past two semesters of school have been, how miserable you've been without him, how guilty you've felt for "missing" his calls, not reading his letters because you've been too exhausted to do anything that wasn't surviving and work.

You're holding his weirdly ring-less fingers, contemplating leaving instead of holding out hope that he'll wake up while you're here, when you hear a familiar theme song on the television.

"When your world looks kind of weird,"

Your gaze falls from the TV to your friend in his hospital bed.

"And you wish you weren't there,"

Your eyes close wishing you were back in Eddie's house, stoned out of your mind doing muppet impressions.

A tear falls down your cheek as you close your eyes and sing along with Miss Piggy, not caring how ridiculous you sound.

"Just close your eyes and make believe and you can be anywhere."

You choke on a sob, suddenly angry at this stupid kids show for making you lose it when you were holding yourself together so well.

"Still sounds awful."

You open your eyes, wiping your tears away with your hand not in Eddie's at the groggy sound of his voice. He's holding the other one tight, almost too tight, like you'll run if he lets go.

"That was a perfect impression," the words stutter on a heaving breath but you're smiling through it.

"I'm on so many drugs."

"I'll go get the nurse," you laugh, trying to pull yourself together.

"No," Eddie just barely tugs on your hand, not yet strong enough to pull you close. "Don't leave."

"I'm not, I won't. I'm here, Eddie. I'm sorry."

Eddie's eyes flutter shut, too tired yet for a full conversation, but he won't let your hand go. You find the call button next to the bed to call the nurse and wait.

"I'm not going anywhere."

---

--

-

🖤

[mylovesebastian]

Hello tumblr!!

This is my first post here, and it’s literally just going to be me rambling about why I love Sebastian from Stardew Valley. I started playing Stardew about 4/3-ish years ago and have over 550 hours on it so far and Sebastian is my favorite marriage candidate. Now I hope to post about all the marriage candidates and my thought on them, why I like them or stuff that feels off. Idk maybe I’ll make a tier list when I’m done.

Anyways! Sebastian, my love🖤 (can’t remember the name of the mod but thanks to my wife for providing the photo!)

So starting off with the basics, he’s emo. That’s hot… not much else to say.

People like to talk about how marrying the candidates can stop them from having the future they dream of, Alex being a big football(I know it’s different but y’know) player or whatever. However you don’t ruin Sebs plan, yes he says he wants to go to Zuzu city but that’s to move away from his family, and while yes it is not a big change he his still moving out. He is arguably much happier on a farm with a wife/husband/spouse that helps make money and treats him nicely than alone in zuzu city.

This isn’t as important, more of an observation. He has a gigantic hyper fixation on frogs. This man could sit there for hours and tell you about all 5,000-8,100 types of frogs there are (maybe, i don’t know and neither does google).

I freak out when people do fan art of him. Any fan art really, but specifically ones that give him facial piercings. They make me go feral, and I cannot describe the feeling that fills me when I see the art. He looks like he’d build legos for fun and display them on shelves.

Again, not important but I feel like he’d listen to Ghost and SleepToken. I’m totally not projecting but he doesn’t seem heavy metal all the way but likes songs and bands that go somewhere in between or have different types of songs. He also looks like he had a massive Greek myth phase but is embarrassed to talk about it. I mean not saying everybody who plays DnD had a Greek myth phase but he plays a game like DND… enough said.

Whenever I do a Sebastian save I feel like I have to do it with a cat. I think he likes all animals but would feel too tired having a dog. He’d like a black cat cause he thinks they’re underrated and over hated but he loves all cats.

Anyways, this started as more of a reasoning of why I liked him and turned into head canons I made up with my wife about him. I also hope to do this with all the marriage candidates and maybe even the other towns people and whoever, making different saves to get a full romance experience with the candidates but it might take a while. If you have a certain request for the next candidate please go ahead and give them, I’m happy to rant about one of my favorite games.

Thank you for reading!!🫶🏻🫡

[arrowheadedbitch]

Idea where Kaminari performs a song at some big UA event because he was promised bonus credit if he did it (other guy flaked, needed last minute replacement, you know the drill) he writes his own song (just let me have this) and plays the guitar while he sings, maybe jirou does background music or maybe she doesn't, either way it turns out that he's really good

Since he was announced as UA's own Kaminari Denki, the people hearing his talent can look him up on wherever and find him and so they do

Denki has to silent his phone because he keeps getting messages about the performance, a lot from strangers, some from people claiming to be able to fund his career as a singer or whatever or offering him a contract, some real some scams, how many seem legit is overwhelming though

The point is, it's a constant onslaught of notifications to the point he has DND on at all times now

Not too long after the performance, he goes to Jirou's room and tells her about all the people trying to contact him about a music career via social media and since he knows she's into that kind of thing he hands her his phone with his Instagram dms open and tells her she can take her pick of whoever she might want to work with one day and suggest herself or have him suggest her or whatever she wants to do, it's a very sweet moment

I just really like this idea 🥺

Before he leaves she asks him if he thinks he'd ever want a music career and he admits he'd never really thought about it until recently but it could be fun and they talk about a future where they do music together sometimes, popping up into the others song whenever asked, showing up at eachothers concerts

God I love their friendship so much 🥺🥺🥺

Anyways, about a week after the initial performance Denki posts "Guys, please stop messaging me about the song I did at [UA event]....I have exams"

[jannaphia]

Ruby/Kaisa Writing Masterpost

Right, okay, wasn't sure if I should post these, but its pride month and I think I deserve a treat after sipping denial juice for like 15 years.

I actually wanted to flesh out some things that happened in their past, but I had so much fun I ended up with like 12 little snippets that I'm just going to throw on here over the next month.

A little background: these two are side characters from my group's DnD campaign, that I have latched onto like a barnacle to a boat (Kaisa was actually my first PC ever, I brought her back as a gimmick & our dm played along, so that didn’t exactly help with getting less attached).

*DISCLAIMER* - the campaign we play is 100% organic homebrew and we treat the world of DnD like a toddler treats a sandbox - with enough respect not to eat the sand but otherwise it's a free-for-all.

Snippets under the cut!

☼・12/12・☼

----------------------------

☼・1・☼

“They fucked both of us over, didn’t they?” Kaisa tightened the grip on her sword, while the rough wall dug into her back even through the scale mail.

The woman beside her nodded earnestly.

“You could say that.”

Kaisa shot her another glance. Heart-shaped face, grey-purple skin, red eyes, pointed ears. Drow, half-blood, most likely, with those ridiculous white strands of hair that framed her face. She was panting slightly from the exertion of running for cover. And probably the fight before. And the knife wound in her shoulder. Goddamn wizards. She should have aimed better. At least then they wouldn’t be squeezed together in this tiny alcove, hiding from the villagers. Or what was left of them, anyway.

“Sorry I almost burned your face off”, the wizard said sheepishly.

Kaisa grunted, in part to hide her surprise. An apology was the last thing she’d expected.

“My fault I even gave you the chance.”

“I’ve never had anyone dodge my spells like that. You’re used to fighting casters, aren’t you?”

“I kill them, usually.”

“Oh.” To her credit, she didn’t cringe away. “Like…all of them?”

“Are you dead, little mage?”

She frowned. “Not for a lack of trying on your part.”

“But are you dead?”

“No, I guess not.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

“Is it a work-for-hire thing, then? Or is it...recreational?”

“Listen-“

“Ruby.”

“-Ruby, I don’t know why or how you got here, but you’re not what I came here for. So just stay out of my way and we won’t have any…further problems.”

“Fine. Are you sure you don’t need my help with that collapsed entrance, though?”

Damn. She’d forgotten all about that already. A triumphant little smile had appeared on the wizard’s insultingly pretty face and Kaisa felt like cursing again.

“I mean, I’m sure you’re strong enough to lift these boulders on your own, but fighting off a horde of undead at the same time might prove just a little difficult,” Ruby said with a small shrug. She winced and touched a hand to her shoulder. “Ouch.”

“And you think you’ll be of much help like that?”

“Probably not. I forgive you for throwing that dagger at me, by the way,” she said nonchalantly. “But since it looks like neither of us can leave on their own, we can either agree on a truce or we might as well stay here.”

There were few things that seemed less appealing than being stuck in a decrepit funeral temple with a wizard who liked to talk and smelled of peonies.

“Not a chance.” Kaisa fished a healing potion from a satchel at her belt and pressed it into Ruby’s hand. “Drink. Truce it is. Try anything, and I will stab you again.”

Ruby sniffed at the potion, downed it in one swig, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. There was a glint in her eyes, a purple glow lighting up the red of her irises. Shit, Kaisa thought. She looked like an innocent doll all groomed and polished as if she was made to be dressed up in lace and ribbons and put on a shelf behind glass. It made it so easy to forget she’d almost blown Kaisa to smithereens. Made it even easier to forget that that was probably her intention.

“Don’t tempt me,” Ruby said and squeezed past her. “I might just get a taste for it.”

☼・2・☼

“Wait!”

Kaisa stopped and half-turned.

“What?”

A part of her wished Ruby hadn’t saved her life at the centre of the temple. There were few things worse than being indebted to a wizard. She’d want something in return; of course she would. A quick end would have been preferable. Maybe then she’d finally find some peace.

“Come work for me. I could use some help on the ship.”

There it is.

“I don’t work for mages”, Kaisa said crisply. “I’ll do what I owe, but no more. Better get this over with anyway. What do you want?”

Ruby furrowed her brow, confused.

“What?”

“The life-debt. What do you want for it?”

“Life-debt? If I saved yours, you saved mine like a dozen times.” “I just pushed you out of the way.”

“Exactly. And anyway, I didn’t help you to get something out of it,” she said, indignant.

“Sounds like you do want something, though.”

“Right. Maybe I do. But not because of some debt you may or may not owe.”

Kaisa narrowed her eyes at Ruby. Was this some kind of game she was playing? No. As far as wizards went, Kaisa had to admit that Ruby seemed to be one of the more upstanding ones. But she was still a wizard. Which made admitting that she’d started earning her respect just a little inconvenient.

“I know you’re looking for that sword. I can help you get off world,” Ruby added.

Kaisa knew it was a hook, saw it coming right at her, and felt it dig right into her heart. It didn’t change anything. That was a damn good argument. Even a risk worth taking.

“And what’s in it for you?”

“Someone to watch my back.”

“And your first pick is someone whose job it is to murder people like you for a living?”

“I’m sure that’s not the only type of people you know how to murder”, Ruby said with a wry smile, and Kaisa snorted. “Not that I want you to murder anyone. But I do want to see more of what’s out there, different worlds, different planes. I think I didn’t realise how dangerous it was to go alone, and I don’t want to return home just yet. We made a pretty good team back then. I want someone by my side who won’t flinch when things get rocky.”

“Hm.”

Kaisa put a hand under Ruby’s chin and tipped up her face. She held her gaze without blinking. And what she saw was someone who had nothing to hide. Someone who carried her intentions like an open book before her.

“You have guts, little mage. I like that”, she said softly.

There was colour to Ruby’s cheeks when Kaisa let go of her. She tugged at her hair.

“I’ll pay you, of course,” she said.

“Finding the sword is payment enough.”

“No, I want you to know that I keep my word.” She cast her eyes down. “I know you don’t trust me, and you don’t have to. Not yet, anyway. But maybe we can start with…begrudging acceptance?”

Kaisa shook her head, a smile tugging at her lips.

“That… I might just manage.”

☼・3・☼

“Oh, fucking shit.” Kaisa skidded along the railing, the ship tilting precariously, the planks groaning. The mast was about to break, listing heavily to one side, the sails a tangled mess of rope and canvas. She jumped back on deck, vaulted over a crate that had gotten loose, hooked her feet into the guardrail, reached over; and managed to grab Ruby’s hand just as the netting snapped, that had kept her unconscious body from tumbling into the wide abyss of open space. With a shudder, the ship righted herself, and Kaisa hauled Ruby back to safety. Blood was dripping from a wound on her temple, ran over her cheek and dropped on Kaisa’s arm. Goddamn, reckless wizard.

She shook her a little.

“Ruby. Wake up.” Her eyelids fluttered. “Come on, little mage.”

“I told you not to call me that”, she mumbled, and sucked in a hissing breath. “Ow, that hurts.”

“And I told you to stay inside. But no. Someone had to go see these damn beasts for herself, didn’t she.”

“Nebula Eels,” Ruby said with a faint smile. “Very pretty.”

“Very deadly.”

“You needed help.”

“I can handle myself. But if you die, I’ll be stuck stranded in the aether, and that’s one shitty way to go. So please be a dear, and don’t do that.”

Ruby cracked her eyes open. “Aw, you’re worried about me.”

“I worry about both of us not getting killed.”

“Mhm.”

The mast made a cracking sound, which reminded Kaisa that they had a few other problems to address, rather than standing on deck bickering, Ruby in her arms like a bride on her wedding day.

“Can I put you down?”

Ruby sighed.

“Please don’t. I mean do. Yes. Sorry. My head.”

“Sure.”

Gently, she set Ruby on her feet and watched her sway towards the battered mast. Her, worrying about a wizard? Ridiculous. She should have carried her into the cabin, though. That wound looked nasty, not something to be walking around with. Ruby stumbled. And Kaisa only just managed to catch her fall.

☼・4・☼

[very mild spicy 🌶️ ] [🎵]

Clink. Clink. ——Clink.

Ruby crumbled the piece of paper in her hand. The noise wouldn’t stop.

“Can you please not do that while I’m doing my calculations?”

Kaisa didn’t even slow down as she answered, her sword slicing the air in perfect, glittering arcs. “We agreed I do my exercises in the morning. Go inside if it bothers you.”

“I can’t calculate anything if I can’t see the stars. Besides, it is not morning!”

“Maybe you should get glasses and look at the damn clock.” She whirled around, the blade lightly gracing the deck as she pivoted and finally came to a halt.

“Maybe you should stop scratching up my ship,” Ruby said, frustrated, and pointed at the chronometer above the cabin door. “And look at the time.”

“It’s nine.”

“Nine in the evening.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know what it is when it’s always dark out here”, Kaisa said, gesturing at the whirling nebulas above and around the ship.

“I don’t know; you could see me going on deck, lay out my charts and think to yourself ‘hmm Ruby is trying to work so we don’t crash into some moon or asteroids or a sky whale; that must mean it is evening so maybe I should stop being an inconsiderate meathead and put my toy swords away for just an hour or two’.”

“Toy swords?”

Ruby swallowed. Definitely the wrong thing to say to someone holding about 34 inches of blank steel and towering above her by at least a head. But she wasn’t about to back down either. The air had grown thick with tension between them, their fragile truce evolved into something different altogether. It’d been a long stretch between Seucury and their next destination, Ilror, with nothing but each other for company, and both had gotten increasingly irritable and restless. Didn’t help that for some reason, she really, really liked it when Kaisa looked at her like she was about to put a dagger to her throat again. There was a sort of thrill to it, like casting the Walk On Water spell and watching the sharks below your feet. She wouldn’t get hurt, but just the thought of danger made her mouth run dry. At home waited only responsibility, decorum and routine. And Kaisa was none of that. 

Ruby breathed in deep as she came closer, the table digging into her back. Her eyes travelled over Kaisa’s arms, the tattoos on them that looked like someone had carved them with a blunt knife. Ruby had to crane her neck to look up at her, the lamplight reflecting in her dark red eyes, making them glow like burning embers. She’d only needed to…

Kaisa reached around her to grab the astrolabe lying on the table.

“If anyone’s playing with toys, it’s you. What even is this thing?”

“A star chart”, Ruby said, although she could barely speak. “Put it back.”

“Huh”, Kaisa said, activating the small illusion inside and squinting at it. “Look at that. We’re off by a few degrees.”

“How would you know?”

“Yes, how would I with all that meat in my head?”

Ruby made a sound between a huff and a growl and reached for the astrolabe. “Let me see.”

Kaisa pulled it out of her reach. “Come and get it.”

She was an archmage of Dakar, a respectable member of the Dakarian university, a noble from a house with a long reputation, and games like these were beneath her. Under any other circumstance.

“You fiend”, Ruby snarled and lunged at Kaisa, who laughed and twisted away, taking Ruby with her. They swayed over the deck, half wrestling, half losing balance, tumbled over a coil of rope, fell, and Ruby found herself pinned beneath Kaisa, the astrolabe rolling from her hand. She could hear her own breath in her ears, felt something unravel in her chest like a spring, a want she’d tried to talk herself into not feeling. What would my mother say? What would my colleagues say? What would the nobles say? What would Kaisa say?

“Ruby, Ruby, Ruby.”

Ruby pulled her face down and kissed her. Hungry, starving. Felt her hands run over her arms, her back, every touch a small lightning strike, every kiss the answer to a question she’d never known she’d had. The only thing left of her was breath and fire, she weaved her hands into Kaisa’s braid as her lips travelled down her neck, one hand beneath her shirt; and the sound she made when Ruby ran her fingers along the membrane of her long ears might have sent Ruby to Elysium right then and there. She’d no idea how long they’d been lying there entangled, might have been a minute, might have been an hour, might have been an eternity. Not long enough by Dakarian standards. Too long, by Ruby’s.

“Cabin,” Ruby gasped. “Now.”

“Why? Is anyone else on this ship?” Kaisa whispered against her ear.

Oh, this was depravity. Absolutely unthinkable. The most wonderful, brilliant thing. Ruby lifted her eyes to watch the stars wheel above them, the endless dark expanse, the blue and purple nebulas, fractals, pattern, beauty she thought she’d gotten used to. But there would be no getting used to this.

☼・5・☼

[ 🎵]

“This one is my favourite”, Ruby said, trailing a finger over Kaisa’s back. She could feel the residue of old magic beneath her fingertips. These weren’t simple tattoos. But what purpose they might have had, she couldn’t tell.

“Hm. What does it look like?”

“You don’t know?”

“Don’t think I ever cared to find out what they did to my back.”

“They?” A few times Ruby had tried to uncover the reason behind Kaisa’s aversion, or rather borderline obsessive hatred, towards wizards. She’d only ever gotten pieces of an answer, had never guessed that the tattoos were a part of it.

Kaisa didn’t reply.

“It looks like a sun,” she said softly. “I think it’s beautiful.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you knew…”, Kaisa trailed off and turned around. “Have you ever had your will taken from you?”

Ruby shook her head, taken just a little off guard. “Only in training. As an exercise.”

“Well, there was no training in Arathflor. Not for that sort of thing, anyway.”

“Your home?”

“No. That’s where the fighting pits were. Lawless place. They throw you into a cell with a bunch of other poor bastards, tell you they’re on your team, watch you befriend them and then force you to kill them in front of an audience, all the while you fight for control over your own fucking body.”

“Why would anyone do that?”, Ruby asked, unable to keep the horror from her voice.

“Money, power and sadism, mostly.”

She sounded like she was talking about the weather, but Ruby did not for one second believe she actually felt this calm.

“How did you get out?”

“A friend…he damaged the spell’s anchor. Wasn’t more than a little coin. Almost killed me. Kind of wish he had. It was the last fight of the season. Never found out if it was an accident, or if he knew. Never got to ask him.” She stared at her hands, as if there was still blood on them.

“I’m so sorry,” Ruby said and swept a strand of hair from Kaisa’s face. There was no word in any language she knew to take that kind of hurt away. “I’ll never let anyone do that to you ever again. I swear.”

Kaisa pressed a kiss to her palm. “Neither will I,” she whispered, gathering Ruby into her arms. There was something else in her voice when she spoke again; old hurt, hope, an edge like a shattered blade. “Gods help me, I don’t know how, but I trust you. Please don’t break it.”

Ruby fiercely shook her head.

“Never, never, never.”

☼・6・☼

Ruby woke to the last rays of the evening sun shining through the blinds of her room. Returning to Dakaris was always an exercise in re-adapting. This time even more so. She kept her eyes closed and waited for Kaisa to kiss her brow and say ‘good morning, gem’, but when she reached out her arms, the bed beside her was empty. Right. Kaisa was at the barracks. Easier this way, they’d decided. No inconvenient questions. No worries about anyone questioning her status or mental capacities. They might have looked past her being a woman, but not that she was an uncultured barbarian to Dakarian society. No match for an archmage. No match for a family already in a precarious situation. They couldn’t see what Ruby saw. Kaisa was no scholar, but her knowledge of the arcane and those who wielded it was extensive and unconventional. Ruby had no doubt she could hold her own against some of the professors at the university. Especially when it came to putting them through a wall, just to prove a point. Which was the second, and biggest the biggerissue. Kaisa might trust her, but that trust certainly did not extend to the wizards at the university, and Ruby refused to put her into a situation that might hurt her in one way or another. So they’d agreed to separate for the time being. Which meant, no ship ration breakfast in bed, no one to hold her when she couldn’t sleep and no one to tell her to ‘fuck the old crones at the university with their shitty little magic books and trinkets’. So by the time she’d swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her night was already ruined.

☼・7・☼

Kaisa walked back to the barracks with the first morning light at her back, tracing the new leather tie around her arm with a smile. When Ruby first suggested she’d stay with the soldiers, she’d been sceptical, to put it mildly. It had been one of their nastier arguments. But the Dakarian military had turned out to be quite the opposite of the stiff city guard stationed on the upper levels of Dakar. With little threat from other nations, the main function of the army was to keep the city safe from the creatures that roamed the desert. Giant chitinous, alligator-like beasts that hid under the sand, centipedes as long as a man’s leg that collapsed tunnels the drows had dug into the rocks below, or hordes of desert corpses that hunted travellers on the few accessible trading routes between the cities. That meant that the soldiers stayed mostly topside, on the fringes of Dakarian society, and Kaisa had found herself amidst a bunch of hardened, disarmingly forward and hearty fighters, who had first roped her into a drinking contest, then an arm wrestling contest and then a boxing match. The sense of honest camaraderie had soothed her initial anger. Even Ruby’s father, the acting general of the Dakarian forces, had welcomed her with open arms. Basilides seemed to be a generally fair and respectable sort of person, who was on good terms with almost everyone in camp. Last night, he’d granted leave to Osha, Tux and Kiril so they could take her out hunting. The hide of her prey’s soft underbelly now decorated Kaisa’s arm. It had been a good hunt. A good night. No, all things considered, things could be much worse.

☼・8・☼

“This is getting ridiculous.” Ruby wanted to groan, or scream, or possibly do both at the same time. Schooling her expression into a detached, pleasant mask was getting gradually harder as the night wore on.

“Master Dalael has appealed the notion twice, he requests a formal inquiry and a re-examination of how the funds will be diverted,” her secretary said, pushing up his glasses.

That smarmy bast-

“He argues that your absence warrants a revision of the schooling program for children from the Dens. ‘Things are constantly changing and need perpetual revision’, is what he said, if I recall.”

What would Kaisa do?, Ruby mused and twirled her pen between her fingers. Hold him over a crevasse by his ankles and shake him until he agreed to see reason, probably. The thought had some appeal.

“Tell Master Dalael I’ll be at the meet and that I will be available for a re-evaluation.”

“Of course. Then there’s the Society of Extra-Planar Arcane Arts. They have requested your presence for a demonstration of a communication device.”

A device that doesn’t work and likely will never work.

“I’ll be there after the meet.”

“Very well. Lastly, Professor Lylok wishes to inquire about the state of the final exams. He is growing…impatient.”

“I’m working on them. He may discuss them with me before first light tonight. Is that all?”

“For tonight, yes. I will arrange everything and update your calendar.”

“Thank you.”

Thalel nodded. When the door had clicked shut behind him, Ruby buried her head in her hands. Dalael, the SEPAA and then Lylok. The nobles fighting as always, the people in the Dens suffering. Nothing had changed. The city was still a pit of vipers, impervious to change, the festering darkness hidden by a shiny veneer of gems and starlight. She’d only been home for two weeks, and all things considered, things couldn’t be much worse.

☼・9・☼

“Oi! Reed! How did it go yesterday?”

Reed stomped past, sending an unmistakable gesture towards Kiril, who slapped his thigh, laughing.

“She’s been trying to get into Mel’s bed for like a decade now”, Osha explained and handed Kaisa a cup of ale. “It’s not going well. He’s the righteous sort, you know.”

“Poor thing”, Kaisa said.

“You got anyone at home?”

“Home?”

“You know, that world of gorgeous, tall and muscular warriors you so obviously come from.”

“Oh. Yeah. I got someone.” The fact that someone was actually on Dakar didn’t exactly change her situation. She might as well have been off-world.

“Must be hard being so far away.”

“We’re taking a break,” Kaisa said, staring into her cup. She missed Ruby with a force she didn’t even want to admit to herself. She’d rather thought the feelings would go away once they stopped being constantly in each other’s face, stuck on a tiny ship. But to her dismay it seemed quite the opposite was true. Either way, if she’d learned anything on her travels, it was to not get overly attached. To take it one day at a time. Or on Dakar, rather, one night at a time. They’d leave again eventually.

“Osha, shut up already.” Tux nudged her with an elbow and Osha shrugged apologetically.

“It’s fine”, Kaisa sighed and downed her cup. “She says her parents won’t approve. Don’t want to get her into trouble.”

Osha grimaced.

“Ouch. Yeah. Been there.” She put an arm around Kaisa’s shoulder, clinking her cup to hers. “Well, if you ever want a fresh start and that archmage won’t bring you back, we’ll gladly keep you.”

☼・10・☼

Ruby sank into the plush chair, the cushions almost swallowing her. She kind of wished they did.

“Denied”, she said tonelessly. “I’ve got a week to appeal the appeal of the appeal, no support, no time and no leverage. Who even came up with a system like that?”

“And what are you going to do about it?”

“What am I going to do about what? I can conjure a whole damn fire elemental from nothing, but I cannot conjure up a bloody conscience for Dalael and his ilk.”

“Rubinia!” Damariel pursed her lips. “That is unbecoming of someone your station. You have clearly been away for too long. And the company you’ve kept!”

“Mother, please.” Ruby plucked at the fringes of an exceptionally frilly cushion. “I did not mind the company. And since we’re on the topic, she deserves better accommodations.“

Damariel clicked her tongue. 

“Be that as it may, I believe that you have more pressing matters to attend to. Have you entered some sort of contract with the mercenary?”

“No, nothing like that.” She wanted to tell her mother not to speak about Kaisa as if she were just some muscle for hire. That she would give her right hand to make sure she was safe. And if she pretended hard enough, keeping her mouth shut about the true nature of their relationship was the only way to shield her from Dakarian politics. So Ruby did just that.

“Then I cannot fathom what you’re fretting about. Your father says Lady Brightwind has taken well to life at the barracks. I’m sure that will put your mind at ease?”

Ruby rubbed her eyes. She’d never been more tired in her life.

“I’m glad.”

Damariel set her cup down and put a hand on her daughter’s knee. “Dear, you look tried. Stay for the day. And surely tonight you will see things more clearly. There are more important things to focus on than appeasing mercenaries and your little social projects. Although I would not mind seeing you go toe to toe with Master Dalael. It would strengthen your position.”

Ruby was too exhausted to protest, so she simply nodded.

☼・11・☼

Kaisa’s room was at the back of the barracks; a word from his daughter had seen the general grant her a small private space apart from the other soldiers. A luxury, but isolating. She climbed up a flight of stairs that was fixed to the outside of the building. Light would come soon, and the air was already getting hotter. She’d half a mind to grab her swords and head to the little oasis instead when she noticed the door standing open. An orange glow came from inside, whoever it was, they did not try to hide. It mattered little. Kaisa grabbed her dagger, crept towards the door, a spell ready on her lips, and hesitated.

Peonies.

She allowed herself a little smile, willed the space between her and the room to let her pass through, stepped forward and out of the air behind a familiar figure standing by the window. Carefully, soft as a kiss, she put the blade to her throat.

“Gotcha”, she whispered.

But to her disappointment, Ruby barely reacted. She simply pushed the dagger away with a finger and turned, her presence hitting Kaisa like a wave. Like water in the desert. Like something that had only grown sweeter in its absence. This could have been the best morning in a month if Ruby hadn’t looked a right mess. As if she hadn’t slept in weeks. Judging from the red rims of her eyes, she’d been crying too. And Ruby never cried. 

“What happened?”, Kaisa asked, her voice dark, ready to break someone’s neck.

Ruby just shrugged a little.

“You look like you’ve been having fun”, she said instead of an answer, and it sounded almost like an accusation.

Kaisa forced the dagger back into its sheath with a loud click.

“I’m making the best of things. As you suggested,” she bit back.

“Well, I didn’t expect you to be-“

“-Not miserable? What the fuck do you want me to be? Wasn’t my choice to get dropped off here with barely a word of goodbye. So don’t tell me how I’m supposed to feel about it.”

By the time she’d finished the sentence, Ruby was crying again. Ah fuck, was it hard to see her like that. But she’d a point to make, too.

“I’m sorry,” Ruby sniffed after a long pause. “I should have never left you like that. I was so worried about everyone's opinions, I thought if I played my cards right, I could actually do some good this time, but it’s all just the same and nothing I do really matters, I could do everything perfectly right and they still won’t listen and-“

“Woha, slow down”, Kaisa said, calm as she could manage. She should be fuming mad right now. Barely a word for a month, no visits, no messages, just a handful of cold letters, only for her to come back crying when things grew over her head. But unfortunately, this was Ruby. And she simply could not stand to see her hurt. “Just tell me what’s going on.”

“I don’t think I can do this.” Ruby wiped at her eyes, but the tears just kept coming. “I’m not cut out to be an archmage. The others barely respect me enough not to insult me to my face. My mother has all the empathy of a bowl of sand, and father is never home long enough to talk to. I’m alone, and I’m miserable, I’ve made the worst mistake I could have possibly made, I pushed away the only one who actually cared, just to gain the approval of cut-throats and liars, and I’m so so sorry, I should never have-“

“Ruby-“

“I miss you! I miss you so much. And I don’t-“

Kaisa pulled her into her arms before Ruby could choke on her own tongue, rested her chin on top of her head. Just let her sob for a moment. She fit perfectly against her, like a puzzle piece, and in that moment she knew she never wanted to hold anyone else ever again. What was a month to an elf anyway? Nothing more than the blink of an eye.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she said, gently rocking them both back and forth. “You have no idea.”

Ruby held on as if she were drowning.

“Will you come home with me?”

Trading the barracks for the inner city? The university? The laughter and levity for hostile stares? Not very appealing. But she’d have Ruby back. That was all that mattered. And Kaisa had never cared about pissing off a few wizards anyway.

“Of course, gem. I’ll pack my things.”

☼・12・☼

Ruby smiled and took a deep breath, the air filled with the smell of the sea, the wind gently tugging at her hair, the sun in her face. The Scarlet Harlot glided through the waves like a fish, as easily as she’d navigated the aether above. Her heart was light and the road ahead wide open. What wonder to exist with nothing but blue all around and the sails snapping happily in the wind. She adjusted her sun-lenses, watched Kaisa stroll on deck, leant against the guardrail and beckoned her closer.

“Hello, my darling sunshine”, she said and wrapped her arms around her waist, but for some reason Kaisa only smiled against her lips when she went for a kiss.

“What is it?”

“You lost”, she said, took Ruby’s chin and pointed her face towards Coy, who sat on a crate, hidden in the shadow of the mast, an open-mouthed expression of disbelief on her face.

“Oh. Oh no.”

“I think you owe me ten gold, my love.”

“You dogs. You absolute dogs!” Coy jumped up, the string of her violin snapping. “I knew it! I fucking knew it.”

“And I knew you’d slip up first”, Kaisa said, and planted a kiss on her cheek before heading for the ship’s wheel.

“That’s not fair, you’re the one with all the names!”, Ruby called after her. “The one time I…I didn’t even know she was there! And you know I can’t see well in the sun! …What?”

There was a wide grin on Coy’s face.

“My darling sunshine. That’s disgusting. Oh, mother will be furious. I’m so proud.”

Ruby sighed. She’d never hear the end of this.

“She knows already.”

“And?”

“Well, you know how she is.”

“Oh, do I know.” Coy sat down again and fixed her violin. “You fooled me long enough, I’ll give you that. But on another note, you should really give the gold to me.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Compensation for all the emotional damage you two are going to inflict on me.”

“Ah.”

“Make it eleven, and I’ll even throw in one or the other sappy love song, if you’re so inclined.”

“I’m not inclined. At all.”

Coy shrugged. “Your loss,” she said and started plucking at her violin as if she’d never seen the instrument before.

“Gods, you’re impossible.”

Ruby flicked a coin at her and Coy snatched it out of the air, still grinning.

“Good choice,” she said, changing the tune, humming softly, her bow dancing over the strings and the wind carrying the music like the sea carried their little ship.

“A silver for your thoughts, my love // a silver for your hand // a silver for a kiss, my love /// you said the sky cannot be bought // and I said just look up // see all the coins you have collected there // see them scattered in the dark // and I’ll add mine and more than that // just to have your heart. O, a silver…”

[thewebcomicsreview]

Hate to tell you this, but the HSBC update just got updated.

I get that they wanted to keep the Hell Arc confined to page 666, and it'll make the archival experience pretty cool, but hard refreshing the site didn't let me see the update to the page due to cache bullshit, I had to use a different browser. So let's liveblog now before it breaks again:

Looks like we're back to Tavros. I guess it makes sense that the first path to update would the one where they could reuse the talksprites.

So, as directly stated by Davepeta, Vriska is trapped in a time loop, where Tavros doesn't remember anything that happened the previous day, just like in the movie Groundhog Day. That Davepeta called out the movie explicitly in-universe as the reference makes me wonder if events will follow the rough plot of that movie. It's clearly what Davepeta wants to happen, but...Vriska....

Anyway, Vriska offers to let Tavros decide what to do today, for the first time. It took two whole years for her to try that, but she is the Thief of Light and not letting anyone else decide what to do is literally her cosmic role and stuff, so I guess that tracks. And what Tavros wants to do is....play a game.

Last update I said that Vriska saying she's done some things wrong while shrugging and laughing is the ultimate distillation of Vriska, but her having won everything and being miserable about it is also the ultimate distillation of Vriska. She's a woman of contrasts, that Vriskers.

The use of the phrase "session" here outs this line as having Deeper Meanings. Having SBURB sessions over and over so we can play forever is literally Dirk's plan, and most of the fandom is assuming a Candy session is coming.

So, even though they're talking about playing FLARP (the troll DnD game, which is apparently PvP), this is also an argument over whether or not Homestuck should continue. You can't really "win" if the game keeps going, but that doesn't mean you're stuck doing the same thing over and over.

I know Vriska is Problematique, but I'm still taken aback by her 2000s kid usage of "gay" as a general-purpose insult, and not just because trolls don't have a concept of "straight" or "gay". Apparently she doesn't even know what it means and learned the word from Da-

Oh, it was just to set up this line for people to screenshot. Alright. Fine.

brb, gotta go post this in the hard to use reaction images channel on the discord and have someone complain it's easy to use.

Tavros accuses Vriska of projecting her own fears onto him, and then gets into a tangent about being a "soft" female fairy and Vriska takes him up on playing this new "game for girls" and he panics and changes the subject. There's a...lot....going on there.

Vriska starts to have an actual breakthrough, when suddenly Aradiabot appears. Wait, is this where Aradia and Ult!Dave went?

We fade to black and I thought that was it, but apparently not. This being a visual novel makes it feel like a much bigger update than it is, and also kind of makes you read each line a bit more carefully. It's a good way of having multiple meaty (or, um, candy-y) updates in a short stretch of time, and that's kind of an important part of the "feel" of Homestuck that no one can really replicate.

Oh, I do not care for this talksprite.

The downside of this format is that it's harder to liveblog, I think, but basically Aradia is complaining about the Vriska Cycle of "Do bad thing, self-flagellate to be redeemed, repeat".

Vriska justifies it because she has to take action and set people straight and stuff, and if this conversation/game isn't leading to the return of "(Vriska)", the OG timeline Vriska who died and got a ton of character growth before post-retcon Vriska stole her girlfriend, then what is it building towards?

A lot of these lines make good single-panel memes. Yes, Vriska, you are the problem in nearly every situation, even (especially) when you're also the solution.

Aradia sa- oh for fuck's sake this is unreadable, guys. Anyway she says that getting into a routine leads to stagnation and slow death, which, mood, but also is about Homestuck itself as much as it is about Vriska.

Jesus Christ, how long is this update? This page is a full on Pesterquest game when the other five routes are finished.

Oh, okay. That's it. Vriska levels and we get a bunch of fire-themed pun ranks for her, of which Skinner's Bane is the best