#anyway; mostly posting this to test the waters and seeing if anyone's actually; like. Interested in this.

[zecoritheweirdone]

[slowly pokes my head inside the tftsmp tag] hullo? hullo hullo? anybody there?

i kept seeing tftsmp posts on my dash occasionally, recently,, and like. i was reminded of this really really old wild west fic idea i made a while back? so long back that i don't actually remember when,, because i only really shared it in a few discord servers, and never got that much of a response from it,,, and so i never did anything with it.

but since the tag is actually, like. sort of being used, now? i figured... i'd give y'all an offering, mayhaps?

n-e-ways,,, hehehehhhhoooo au where john john and the bandits are ghosts, ft. my rushed art.

it's been, like– maybe a year or so since i even thought about this idea,, so i'm afraid i don't have much to share outside of a small handful of snippets,, sksjsksjsk. but like. basically, all four of them become ghosts, and then... ghost shenanigans, basically.

[goldenpinof]

Hi! Can I add my 5 cents to the discussion about the views? I'm one of those people who lost interest soon after gamingmas.

You're right, I don't have as much free time as I used to, so I'm quite picky with entertainment. I was very enthusiastic and nostalgic about spooky week and gamingmas. And good god am I thankful for those.

But what it comes down to is I just don't like their current format now, I hoped there would be changes.

I expected more irl stuff, longer gaming videos with actually good games, a podcast with banter, engagement with comunity. Instead it's the same old stuff. I'm sorry, but I don't care about the sims or the golf or the fucking wiki how articles.

I'm not saying post-gamingmas videos are bad, DnP are actually good entertainers. I just don't want to click on the videos in the first place, especially when there's so many of them in such a short time. I'm simply overwhelmed.

huh. interesting. so it is boring for you, but not because of the changes were made but because there were not enough changes.

you picked gwf and wikihow articles - actual good things left on the channel, hahahaha. i do understand what you mean about "more irl stuff" and "engagement with community" (not only chosen community aka twitter). i think they are kinda scared the podcast won't work, because their views are wibbly-wobbly. and the pod isn't gonna make them money right away unless it's on already monetised channel. they would have to invest in it without a clear certainty it will pay off. or they would need to find regular sponsors or a deal. which is, again, a bit harder with unsteady views. and a pod is also another big commitment. i think there are quite a few reason why they (mostly Dan) are not so sure about a podcast, and i didn't even list all of them. Dan should make a couple of decisions regarding his solo career for the joint podcast to work as a real long-term thing. maybe reviving liveshows would be easier, but for some reason he doesn't even want to do That.

if so much content is already overwhelming (which i agree with), add podcast to it. they would have to partially ditch the gaming channel that is quite profitable (for now, at least). but maybe, just maybe, there are changes on the horizon. if the views don't pick up after this forced break, they will have to react to it somehow. it's all fun and games until dnpg drops to ap numbers. the core audience is here and will be here for the pod, but is it enough? not only for money, but is it enough to give them new solo or joint opportunities? (and don't get me wrong, we still can be very powerful when we collectively want something. but would that be enough to convince companies that aren't familiar with how we can potentially work? we didn't convince anyone when it came to wad, not in 2022/2023. i sure hope we convinced them now, when more people came back. but it definitely wasn't the easiest thing to do. and with each new project, it will be similar, imo).

anyway, cheers to onlyfans. dnp are saying so many things, like they are testing the waters. let's see where it is going.

[noblechaton]

hi. this is a post about Miraculous Ladybug - but also a post about me too. I've been on this bug and cat train since just about the beginning and getting to where we are now has made me kinda look back on it all - the show and myself so. I'mma ramble for a bit, pretty long post. gets kinda personal too

also there is like. no complaining or salt or anything like that in this post. adding this on in case anyone gets the wrong idea

like I said I've been here since roughly the beginning - not quite the first episode but close enough I feel, def within that first year or so. I've seen every episode (except "Felix" somehow. lmao, and the Shanghai special) and written countless words for this batch of furry doofuses, made countless posts that range from jokes to genuine analysis and spent what could probably be medically determined to be an unhealthy and maybe illegal amount of brainpower on the series as a whole, through the ups and downs, the fandom drama and leaks

and I know plenty of people who have fallen off for one reason or another - they didn't like the progression of the story, how things were being handled here or there, or they simply drifted from it for whatever reason. I kinda felt that way for a time, that I might be growing apart from the series as hiatus after hiatus built and my interests veered more towards other stuff, from wrestlemen to the witchy. it's scared me in the past, that I might stop loving the show, but with the S5 finale having hit and the major storyline that's been the thrust of the series mostly concluded I kinda realized something that I've kinda known for a long while

I'll never let it go, not entirely, and I'll never grow completely past it or beyond it - Miraculous is sort of a part of me

see, 8 years ago I was....drifting in a different way. I was losing touch with the people I held dearest, those irl friends I'd managed to maintain through school were fading fast and slowly I found myself almost alone, totally and completely. suddenly all the voices I'd been happily smothered by for years were just. gone. a few remained here and there, but it was fragmented if not completely cut off before too long and, well, I was scared

I was, for all intents and purposes, alone

but....then I started to watch this show that'd been recommended to me a few times, from before the voices faded. I'd written it off bc I didn't really care for CG shows, they always felt so empty and weird to me at the time, but the season was still ongoing and it wasn't as if I had much else to do, so I watched this episode called Stormy Weather and, not to sound too dramatic, but my life sorta changed

I loved it from the start, the style, the banter, the story. the animation was shockingly good, it felt alive. the characters were a total treat to see interact, the designs all but perfect to my eye. I got immediately hooked and only went further in the more I watched. slowly but surely I caught up on what was out there, watched what was coming out and at the same time, I sorta....reinvented myself, too, bc of this show

I made this blog, spread my wings a bit and tested some waters here and there in ways totally different from what I'd done before - I wasn't always Noble, yanno - and though it horrified me as someone that's just. terrible at talking to people, at making friends and forming connections, I still did what I could - I basically did what I did to get my first crush's attention actually, in that I just sorta danced and made a clown out of myself. we dated for 12 hours, funnily enough, didn't last. hope she's doing well. anyway

all that dancing, as it were, eventually caught the eye of someone I still consider one of my best friends to this day, who back then slowly hooked me up with who have since become some of my other best friends - I have a lotta best friends, okay? but the bond we've formed, though most of them are sorta on the outs with the show and despite us all being busy lately, it meant a lot to me - they mean a lot to me. they've....saved me, genuinely. I'm sure you can pick up the subtext here, but just as well, the show saved me, too

because I kept bumping into more people and forming connections as a result of this shared interest in a silly French cartoon, my confidence changed - I started behaving more like my senior year self in that nothing really stopped me, I didn't feel as shy or bashful or timid. soon I found myself in servers, talking with names I'd never imagined knocking up against, getting into contact with people I'd otherwise never dreamed of talking with, much less becoming friends with

now I have this web of people in my life, people I trust and care for that are amazing creators, amazing people both inside and outside of fandom, now I'm close to or otherwise good friends with a list of names that could take up most of this post if I started rambling them off. and just like that, I'd found myself a home again, I felt like I belonged somewhere again, there were voices again and the silence was gone

and I still struggle sometimes, we all do, I'm not as creative on here as I want to be - and I look to change that soon bc deep down I do believe in my ability now, something that wasn't true some few years ago - and I still struggle to talk with some of those I want to befriend, but I have talked to most of them, I've engaged on a level I never could just a few years back and....I have people I can turn to again, that I trust and love. that I hope love me too, y'know, not romantically or anything just, familial? friendly? you understand, I'm sure, anyway, point is, I was terribly alone for a long while, and gradually I've found myself in a place I find comfort in again, surrounded by friends that I'd do anything for

and it's all because of Miraculous, a show I still love

yeah there's been ups and downs, things I've liked a ton and didn't care much for, but I'm still with the show - I will be with the show. I thought season 5 was maybe the best of the bunch, at least on par with S1 imo, I'm stupidly excited about season 6 despite not being so sure of it just a few months ago. and above all else I just love watching it, posting about it and creating for it. it gets so much hate, I know there's constant discourse and there are genuine issues with it, but....again, I love it, I'll always love it. even if I drift away, if my interests shift or things take a turn, for any issue I take with the show myself, I think I'll always love this show, thick or thin

because this show saved me, it's made me a better person and gave me a life I'd once feared I'd lost, and for as silly as all of this might sound I'll always be grateful to that bug and cat team

anyway. that's enough sap from me for a bit, just kinda retrospective in light of the finale, kinda crazy to think about where I was 8 years back compared to now tbh. and not just the whole "oh yeah I'm a girl" thing lol

[savethevamps]

yeah boeing is honestly such a useless character. I really don't get all the "omg he's so messyyyy I love him" takes bc he hasn't really added anything to the show. It's obvious he was meant to cause drama but what has he done really? He manipulated mew for like half an episode but in the end now topmew are back together and stronger than ever lol. and I'm sure people will say "he was the last obstacle they needed" but he wasn't at all it was just unnecessary drama that ruined mew's character development. and with sandray it's obvious nothing is gonna come from it especially with it being the last episode. like what is he even gonna do that anyone is gonna care about? they either should've added him sooner OR come up with plotlines that didn't revolve around cheap drama but that's just my opinion.

I completely agree. Now with why people like him lol I think it’s because they thought he was only gonna fuck with Topmew. With the post I made yesterday, it was mostly just a vent but I actually do wish they would’ve done more with his character. I could understand him coming in to test the relationships but he’s doing it in the worst way by being this evil villain type of guy.

You’re so right about him ruining Mew’s development as well, they had him take so many steps backwards with that entire revenge plot thing. Like in what way are we supposed to believe Mew wants to do this again, when he literally just tried it and obviously didn’t like it? He says to Ray that he still loves Top and admits that he was just using him, and even apologized for it so why are we now supposed to believe he’d do it again? It took away from the progress that he’d made already and I can’t stand that cause Mew is such a good character.

There was a way they could’ve used Boeing for Topmew but they didn’t do that and it sucks. I would’ve loved if he was a genuine friend to Top and he could’ve given us more insight into how Top is. He could’ve given Mew advice and his perspective on everything and that would’ve worked better. I actually wanted him to bring up his relationship with Top and have a conversation with Mew about it yknow? Would’ve been super interesting to see.

There’s also a way they can use him with Sandray as well but I know they’re not gonna do it because they’ve watered him down to a cartoon villain who may as well start stroking his invisible mustache instead of pushing up his glasses. Ahem anyway…. I wanted him to come in and give Sand some closure, as well as some perspective about things. Like I wanted him to truly ask Sand about how he feels just in general and finally get Sand talking about something other than Ray and Ray’s feelings and issues.

Idk I just would’ve liked him to come in as someone who is neutral to the relationships between the couples, and offer them an objective (for the most part) listening ear where he can help them strengthen their relationships. I just don’t like this weird approach they’ve taken to this character, and he could’ve been introduced at any time to be honest as long as they had him do something even a little bit interesting.

Anyway anonie, thanks for the ask <3

[gayszlen]

Oh hey I got tagged for a thing ty @warioigottawin:+)

OK

Fav colour: I think foresty green, but my like lifetime favorite colour is royal purple, however I've been real into pale pinks lately too...

Currently reading: OOOH ok so I was rereading Harrow along with my friend who I'm doing the cosplay with BUT I was also at her behest reading the Final Empire, book one of Mistborn (she's super into Brandon Sanderson's stuff) and now I'm onto the second book, the Well of Ascension. They've been really good so far, it's a really cool and unique fantasy world with an awesome magic system (eating different metals lets you do crazy shit) and I loooove the main characters, they start out a bit basic but especially coming into book two they gain a lot of depth and are just generally really likeable, I have had a bit of trouble keeping track of the side characters though lol, there's a couple that all melt together in my brain. Also ostensibly working on starting discworld, I'm a little bit of the way through Guards! Guards! But TLT and Mistborn have been keeping me busy (STILL need to read nona lol, I'll probably get to it before Alecto comes out lol) also I've been doing all of this with audiobooks which I still have some trouble paying attention to sometimes but it's massively easier for me these days than physical books OK LONG BIT OVER

Last song: last song I actually listened to was DUI by Estelle Allen, I unironically love it so much even though I can't drive and therefore follow through (I DID SCHEDULE A PERMIT TEST THOUGH WHOO LOOK AT ME BEING AN ADULT) anyways if you haven't heard it PLEASE please listen to it immediately (and also the whole album it's on, it's actually real good)

Last series: UHHH haven't been watching a ton of "tv" shows recently, but I just finished season 5 of game changer on dropout which was fun, and I'm now binging all three seasons of SoupRS's Gielenor Games OSRS competition gameshow, I haven't actually played old school in a bit and never very seriously but I do love those funny little guys fighting funny little monsters and flicking their funny little prayers :+)

Last movie: UHH I think the DnD movie? I personally loved it, it's not as cringe as I expected and is very accessible to anyone who's not into dnd the game or the internet dnd "fandom"

Sweet, spicy, or savoury: GOD that's hard I mean I am a pleasure seeking creature so like I do love sweet sugary stuff, but I also loooove sweet/spicy stuff, or really just all of those stuck together, although I think I'd actually go for umami over savoury. I've been practicing this scallion oil noodle recipe that is soooo good and the sauce especially is a really great blend of sweet from sugar, spicy from various stuff, and savory from the scallions (plus a lot of umami from the sesame oil and soy sauce lol) my rendition of the recipe is just a simplified/easier version of some I've seen on the internet, but I can post it if anyone's interested :3

Craving: SPONGE CAKE AND TOO SWEET ICING god I just love the texture its such a good sensory experience for me, and the flavor is just. Sugar lol so yeah. However seeing char's answer reminds me that I loooove the samosas from this one Indian place we used to order from that shut down BUT they JUST reopened under a new name and slightly different model so I need to get my mitts on some yummy yummy samosas and tamarind sauce

Tea vs coffee: TEA ez, I mostly just drink water and the occasional sodie (although I really should get an electric kettle for my room id drink way more tea) I think I've literally never had coffee and tbh I don't have much desire too, doesn't smell a way I like and I can get caffeine from sodies, someday I may grow up and get into coffee but I wanna get back to more tea first, I made this syrup with lemon balm that I really wanna try as a sweetener in a tea

Currently working on: well not a ton, got a callback from a job I was really excited about and they seemed into me but also I need a driver's license for that so. I'm starting work on a permit lol. Theoretically working on that cosplay but most of it is just gonna be ordering stuff, I might make the sword out of foam and wood though so I can bring it to cons. Also been drawing a sword for the same friend's fantasy series she's been working on, and just generally helping her brainstorm that stuff which is really fun :)

OK uhhhhhhhhhhhhh do I have to tag people? Idk, if anyone wants to do this you can just say I tagged you, and I'll give uhhh @the-gay-prometheus @potorch @bark-eater @zoentropy a ping for it lol, absolutely no pressure to do it, entirely just if you're interested ok bye :)

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

April 2021 Part 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Second Chance Ep 3 - this is proper YA, they are dealing with actual high school issues, picking uni, first crushes, online dating, etc... We even got a senior prom trope which almost never happens in Thai stuff (just the freshman uni competition variant). Standard plot pacing means PaperFah’s kiss was too early, might indicate we’re moving to uni in the second half of the series? Tropes included: let me feed you, hand hold, black & white striped shirt, floppy drunk & first kiss. 

Y-Destiny Ep 3 - the first MaxNat ep. Such fun to see them playing different characters. This one is enemies to lovers, tutor/student, but it’s using the “poor little rich kid loose cannon” archetype. Nat is doing his best, but it’s leaving me cold. Lots of tropes tho: boyfriend’s closet, floppy drunk, pillow clutch, the loom & water bottle. 

Lovely Writer Ep 8 - solid installment, good use of many tropes. I really like the leads and I’m glad there isn’t much side dish action, SibGene gave us: punish, touch your face, boyfriend claiming, kissing, sleep cuddling, symmetry, rooftop, cheek kiss, hand hold, and pillow clutch. 

Call It What You Want Ep 3-4 - couldn’t find the subs, don’t really care, will watch if it crosses my radar, otherwise I’m just not into it.  

Brothers Ep 11 - the “everyone wants Chol” show continues (but WHY?), he and Tri are cute together, and now I kinda just want Prab to end up with the twins. I’m confused by the teachers, but Boston showed up (from UWMA), and my boys KhunKaow got together (YES!), so I’m ultimately delighted with the episode. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 2 - the makeover happened, and we go from cute with glasses and braces to cute without them. (I’m reminded of those 90′s Pygmalion teen movies where the girl has glasses + ponytail and then *GASP* does not and *GASP* she’s HOT. This was the BL version.) Meanwhile, writers better be careful with Pi, he’s getting too tsundere to like. Did you see they gave AJ a 2gether music intro & pick up line? Well, it’s actually his brother JJ who plays Ohm in 2g. I cackled. GMMTV - you so cheeky. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai 

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 5 - half way point. My poor confused babies. It was a really sweet episode... if what happened before hadn’t happened in the way that it had. Also, these boys have a GREAT friendship but are probably the worst advice givers ever. 

Most Peaceful Place (Vietnam) Ep 3 fin - so cute! Our boys confessed and got together. There was an adorable mutual kiss (I love me a mutual, like Ingredients). Afterwards, they actually seemed to communicate with each other about both sex and their relationship. OMG. How original for BL! This was the last episode, so the series is short, but I still enjoyed it very much. RECOMMENDED. 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 1-2 - oh boy this one is rough, we started out with homophobia child abuse and moved on to family drama + drunken dub-con one night stand. But production values and subs are better than normal for Vietnam (You Are My Boy levels) + our queer babies are out & proud + it’s higher heat + I’m weak. So I’m watching. 

Word of Honor (China) Ep 25-27 - honestly not much happened, lots of back story. Things are looking dire for the ghosts unless they can turn the Scorpion (I LOVE HIM, he’s my precious deadly baby). Don’t know how they managed to make loosing a battle with an immortal sword god ex-friend cute... but they did. Did some calculations and at 36 eps, mathematically speaking, ep 30 will be the equivalent of a standard BL ep 11. Should I be scared for next week? 

Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding (Korea) Ep 1-2 - it’s so effing adorbs, soft bois do old fashioned tropes like arranged marriage + evil stepsisters meets the more modern fake relationship + secret identity in a surprisingly comfortable mix. It launched with baby is a floppy drunk, forced proximity, performative I saw you feed him, and some fun gay panic. It’s a lot lighter and faster paced than I was expecting, but this is Korea so I don’t know why I’m surprised. 

Stand Alones 

K-pop band OnlyOneOf dropped a new MV that is basically BL bait, using many of the tropes we know and love. I promise I’m not trying to lure anyone into K-pop I just thought it was interesting how consciously they’re yaoi dipping. 

Spin-off We Best Love Fighting Mr. 2nd, Shou Zhen | the Only Love Letter Once Written (SERIOUSLY WITH THE TITLES TAIWAN?) anyway there’s a something or other 25 minutes featuring Pei Shou Yi and his boy that aired Friday. It’s about 10 minutes of reboot footage with 15 min of new content, mostly set in the past. It entirely rests on Chih Tian Shih’s acting, fortunately for us he’s great. However, it doesn’t substantially change or add to these characters’ arcs from the finale of WBL season 2. I don’t know if there will be more or if this was just an extra footage fan service. 

COLOR RUSH GOT ITS MOVIE!!! Okay this is almost the tipping point for me to get Viki Standard. It’s listed at 1:56 minutes long but the original series had only c.120 running time - that is a lot of new content. Although i was disappointed by To My Star’s movie I loved Wish You’s, so I am hoping Color Rush got Wish You level treatment. That said, I feel Color Rush the series is damn near perfect already, hard to improve on perfection. 

Breaking News

Close Friend the series got an updated trailer featuring MaxNat (no subs) so if you like them in Y-Destiny or in Why R U get ready for them to play different characters again, this time for a sports romance segment. Like Y-Destiny, Close Friend looks to be another series of vignettes (Original trailer) coming April 22. 

2gether the movie (Thai trailer) was intended release April 22 but is now postponed due to a surge in C19 cases in Thailand.

Tell the World I Love You, a Thai BL movie that was supposed to release last week, is similarly delayed.  

My Ride has been postponed indefinitely with no airing date. 

The Miracle of Teddy Bear got a teaser vid, no eng subs. 

Gossip

Thai BL actors Nanon (Bad Buddy), Yoon (YYY), and Mark Siwat (LBC, Bite Me) have tested positive for C19. Press releases stated they’re fine, tho filming has paused fore their various projects, obvs. (No word on whether Nanon’s current project was Bad Buddy or not, although it seems likely given his recent Arm Share episode.) 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[interact-if]

I’m sending this in because it seems like I could get good opinions from not only you but also the people who follow you. I have an idea for an IF, and I’m very excited for the story. My question is, would people be offended if I made the playable MC physically female that identifies as female and all the ROs physically male that identify as male? I have seen some out there that are strictly M/M or F/F, and I’m so happy they exist because I feel that population is underserved. I just feel, not having the experience, I could bring justice to writing LGBTQ+ (and I don’t want to offend anyone in that community by writing something incorrect), mostly when it comes to sex (which I plan on including in my game). I support games that have those relationships in them and admire them, even play those games, and I don’t care who plays my game. The more the merrier! I still want the characters to be diverse. One of them will be of a descent that is based on Japanese culture and many others, based on Persian culture. I also want the playable MC to have any skin tone/features the player wants. I just want to know if this…will have people coming after me? I want to tell my story, but I don’t want to be attacked for it, if that makes sense?

I really don’t mean to offend anyone. I just don’t want to cause trouble, and I just want to respectfully ask for people’s opinions on this.

Hello! So, before diving into our response, we’d like to emphasize that we are but five individuals running a blog devoted to interactive fiction. We are neither the end-all-be-all voice on this matter nor necessarily a representative mouthpiece for the community.

First off, you can write whatever you would like to write; as the author, you have absolute control over what you produce, so nobody is going to stop you from writing what you want to write. It’s also important to write what you enjoy.

That said, the community is, in our experience, very inclusive, and largely devoted to providing a space for the queer community. We can understand the desire to have an appropriately inclusive and diverse game, and why you particularly want to turn to characters of color to bridge the gap; however, substituting characters of color for queer characters to claim diversity in a project is possibly something that will receive the wrong kind of attention. Furthermore, assuming that writing characters of color well is any less complex than writing queer characters potentially suggests that said characters could end up underdeveloped or tokenized. (See Nines' and Roast’s response below for more context)

All of that doesn’t mean you can’t make a game that’s genderlocked and restricted to M/F romance, and I don’t think anyone will be offended by such a game, but it might limit your audience. At the same time, there are (many) other visual novels that have this format, so it’s not something unheard of. As far as CoGs and text-based games go, as far as we’ve seen, they are rarely genderlocked unless for plot reasons, etc.

There is also a chance that you may receive feedback requesting that the MC be un-gender locked, or for additional ROs to be added of different gender, or for the ROs to be made gender selectable. These requests may be gentle, insistent, kind, or aggressive, and they may only occur at the beginning of your work, or may occur throughout your game development. Maybe they’ll never happen at all. It’s impossible to predict the future, but in our experience, we have often seen this occur to games in the past with RO gender imbalances, locks, etc.

As for searching for feedback, if you’re looking for feedback but you’re not pursuing the CoG format, may we suggest the Reddit subforum? It’s a little difficult for you to get the feedback/dialogue going here that you’d likely like to get, so Reddit’s format may be more conducive to your needs.

In the meanwhile, those who would like to provide their thoughts are encouraged to respond in the comments of this post. Please remember to be polite with your discussion!

— — —

The above is our general mod response; a few of us wanted to offer some individual thoughts as well, and those can be found below. These are personal opinions and reflect each individual mod’s thoughts, rather than a collective response.

While it can be a little daunting to write about something you’re not familiar with, writing often broaches topics with which we don’t personally have first-hand experience. Additionally, queer relationships are ultimately still relationships between people—they’re not all that different from heterosexual relationships. If you’re worried about the way you’re portraying your content, that’s something well-curated beta readers/testers (from the population you’re trying to represent) can help test for, and give feedback on. And on top of all of the above, that’s not to mention the potential issues associated with substituting in POC to replace queer people, which is perhaps not what your intention is, but is what it feels like your intention is (see Roast and Nines for all the ins and outs on why this is an issue). Ultimately, I stand by the opinion that on the most basic level, most will not be offended by a game that’s about a straight, cisgender female MC—yet some, or even many, may be off-put by such a game. I know I, personally, am. (P. S. Also consider that the MC has to interact with the other ROs that she isn’t romancing, as friends, enemies, acquaintances, what have you—having selectable ROs, for example, also allows the player to “diversify” their acquaintance group, if they so wish.) — Dani

I understand that this ask is coming from well-meaning intent but I would just like to state that writing characters of color is not easier than writing queer characters. One of them isn't a substitute for the other. Writing characters of color and writing queer characters are separate matters entirely, and both come with its own difficulties. Wanting your characters to be diverse, while admittedly lacking the perspective to back such identities, is still a murky water to navigate.

Personally speaking, and I really do have to be transparent about this, the way certain sentences were phrased in this ask rubbed me the wrong way. Still, I understand that this isn't malicious, just someone who is asking for guidance, which is something I can't fault. We all have to start somewhere, you know? That being said, if you really want to write diverse characters, my general advice is to do research. Lots and lots and lots of research. No author is exempt from that, honestly.

Find helpful articles, journals, studies, video essays, etc. to aid you in writing your characters. If you still feel like that's lacking in some way, which is a valid concern, being open to feedback from the appropriate people is also a good way to improve. The integrity of a project is important, but so is reasonable criticism against, for, or about it. Keep an open mind, educate yourself, and don't be afraid to ask for help or clarification should it be needed. — Nines

Nines says it well that queer people and poc are not interchangeable nor any 'easier' than the other. The fact that you're willing to do research and include characters of color yet not include queer characters tells me that you're afraid yet misconstruing how much effort actually gets put into cultural research.

There is a 'purity culture' that goes around tumblr that claims that diverse characters have to be perfect, have to have no flaws, cannot die, cannot have trauma, cannot face adversity, they must be perfect and good and happy.

I think this is bullshit.

I also think the backlash from this 'purity culture' community is what is creating so much fear in authors (including queer authors!!) in making characters with different backgrounds and identities than their own. In making queer characters with flaws and tragedy and negative characteristics.

If we only ever wrote what we knew, what we've personally experienced, fiction would be a very boring world.

Being afraid of representing a community wrong is a valid fear, but it shouldn't stop you from trying. You can write what you want to write, but it shouldn't be limited by fear.

Do your research. Get sensitivity readers. Be open to feedback. Be willing to be afraid, but do it anyway.

If, in the end, you decide to gender lock, make it an informed decision at the very least, and if you are including characters of color, know that that is a heavy amount of research too, and should be handled with the same care as what we've said on queer characters.

And like we've said before, we are not the voice of the community, we cannot give you permission or our blessing or flawless feedback, we are just five people running a blog. — Roast

Alright this was already mentioned a bit before but I wish to add my two cents: M/F relationships are the norm anywhere else in real life, and if you feel like there's no space for you and your relationships in a mostly-queer community then you might want to recheck if this is the community you wish to have as your target audience.

No one's going to be offended if your story is cishet, as we said, but you are extremely reducing your audience by doing such. The appeal of interactive fiction is that a good bunch of us have played female-mc-straight-love-interest visual novels in the past, having to endure being misgendered or romancing people we might not be attracted to.

The current interactive fiction community we're trying to promote has opened a million doors for everyone to explore themselves, so don't be surprised if your story, no matter how good, is ignored due to this aspect. Most of us have no interest in being forced to play as something we're not.

Again, we cannot tell you what you can or cannot do. We don't speak for the community, we speak for ourselves and for this blog. Maybe every comment we've made was incorrect and your game turns out to be successful, really, but it's what we believe you should keep in mind. — Cruz

Honestly, I don’t have much to add since everyone here mentioned and discussed important facets of this ask! At the end of the day, we are not a group who can or will ever dictate what you can or cannot write. That is not the purpose of the blog or the reason why we’re working as hard as we are. 

There have always been games with this specific set of characteristics: gender locked MCs and/or ROs. Some people may enjoy it, others may not, for whatever reason. 

Unfortunately, we cannot guarantee anything in terms of how people will respond to a game, because people will react to content differently. All we can do is offer our perspective and the potential things that may happen in the future based on the experience the lovely devs above have had. (fellow interact-if mods, my beloved ❤️)

It’s always admirable for people to reach out when they’re unsure, and I’m sure there are infinitely more opinions that vary or are similar to the ones in this response. But there you have it, some of our thoughts! 

Goodluck with your project! — Mars

[heresathreebee]

Old Stomping Ground

[Ava Starr X Female Reader]

Summary: One of the good things to come out of constant alien invasions are the abandoned ruins of New York, and you’re fixing to show Ava your favorite place. Previous Masterlist Next

Tag(s): 13+ | can be reader gender and race neutral reader but is written with woc readers in mind, no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp, Ava and reader on an adventure in post Avenger's New York, homelessness, alien trees and the power of community.

AN: no-snap au, post-Ant Man and the Wasp. No beta, we die like men. Just you and Ava having a short adventure.

You took three days off of work for this one. Packed two backpacks with food, water, clothes, and other supplies. Bedrolls and bug spray and hiking poles. Ava laughed at your enthusiasm but she seemed to vibrate with excitement right along with you. 

"Can you at least tell me where we're going," she pleaded. 

You ran through the end of the checklist for the third time, trying to be extra careful now that you wouldn't be hoofing it solo. You dodged the question expertly with a "it's not far and it's not dangerous so hush! Learn to enjoy the mystery, babe." 

Ava rolled her eyes playfully but stopped asking and let you finish. After that you ate a hearty breakfast and began your journey north by northwest. In the taxi, your girlfriend's eyes darted from building to building as you turned on every street and you mentally gave up on scolding her. She was too pragmatic to allow for that level of trust yet. 

You were surprised that it took her until you passed the ruins of the daycare you once attended that she whipped her head around to whisper, "is this… Leviathan alley?" 

You shush her but can't keep the excited grin from your face. "It's a bit more than just an alley." 

Once SHIELD was finished stripping for parts and gutting the cybernetically enhanced alien creature left behind in the Battle of New York, the rest was abandoned. The city's been planning to clean up and rebuild but there are scores in the earth where the leviathan crashed and crumbling, precarious buildings that need to be brought down first in the safest way possible. While the city’s been debating how to deal with the destruction, the poor and destitute had moved in and discovered the blood of the chitauri has some very interesting properties. 

"It's like it changes the property of concrete," you explained, climbing over rubble and reaching back to pull her up, "uhg– breaks it down into some kind of hyper fertilizer. There's this copse of trees growing where we think the stomach was and I think in its natural habitat, the creature was probably an omnivore of sorts and may have swallowed thousands of seeds–" 

"That's all very fascinating dear, could you please take this?" Ava shoves a canteen into your hands and cups your hands to bring it closer to your mouth. You've climbed for what feels like miles and hey, you are pretty parched. "Think we'd better rest and eat, maybe look for a safe place to set up camp and… oh, look over there!" 

Ava's sudden whisper makes you turn. It's green in that direction, though this 'alley' is shrouded in darkness due to the dome made from the spine and ribs of the leviathan, the sprigs seem to grow just fine, becoming taller as they moved farther away from you until they began to develop woody stalks and trunks. 

"That's the forest you were talking about," Ava whispered in awe. “I wanna get a closer look.” 

You gently caught her arm. “Camp first, eat. It’ll still be here tomorrow.” 

~ 

Ava didn’t expect you to take her into an encampment. There were two dozen people in tents, an open grill going and laughter. They seemed to recognize you. It was mostly older adults, a few elderly people wrapped in thick blankets and teens walking around asking anyone needed drinks. You grabbed the blanket from your pack and wrapped Ava in it as soon as she found a seat on a slab of concrete. 

"Comfy?" 

Ava smiled up at you, taking the proffered fruit slice from you. "Very." 

She examined the strange fruit. It had a thin violet skin with a spongy white inner layer and pink juice with black seeds  dripping from it. She leabed over your shoulder get a look at the fruit as a whole, and it seemed the pink goop was loose inside the fruit similar to a coconut. 

"Are these from the trees," she asked. 

"Yeah, they're edible don't worry. No side effects we've seen," you assure. 

Ava nods but as she's licking the tangy pink juice you continue, "well except for Nadia but she's a mutant." 

Ava flicks worried green eyes at you and slowly takes the fruit from her mouth. She's already swallowed on reflex so there's no turning back now, only managing whatever weird things would come next. 

"Uh… what do you mean by that?" 

You blink at Ava. "Oh it's not, like, bad or anything. Right, Nadia?" 

A dark skinned girl in an orange beanie looked up from her phone. "What?" 

"Tauri makes you, what, gassy?" 

The man on the grill threw his head back in a laugh and Nadia kicked a rock at you. "Ha hah, you're everybody's favorite clown in the circus. It doesn't make me gassy, you jerk, it makes me smell like roses actually." 

"Oh," Ava said, "that's all?" 

You and Nadia shared a knowing look. "It's strong. Not overpowering but strong like you've got your nose buried in a whole bouquet of them." 

"And your fingers tingle and you make sparkles– " 

"Nadia I think that's just you, baby!" 

People laughed and the conversation died down. Ava let the slip of tauri fruit linger in her grasp until you gently pried it out and ate it yourself. You were side eyeing her but kept your question to yourself and eventually Ava was able to relax. She fell asleep during Nadia's uncle Rodney's story with her head on your shoulder and dreamed of violet things. Violet dresses, violet paint, violet fires, and violet sprigs. 

All you could dream of was the smell of roses so close and so thick you could touch it. 

~

The walk through the natural path as the trees got thicker finally prompted Ava to ask the question that's been plaguing her. "How do you know them? Are they family?" 

You cast a quick glance over your shoulder and slowed your pace to match hers as your fingers tapped the straps of your backpack nervously. "Sort of. They were family when I had no home to go to. Then I got a job with enough money and a stupid good deal on my apartment because I had no priors. 

"Rodney and Jules and some of the others prefer it out here with the forest. Some of them have nowhere else to go or no way to take care of themselves. Nadia's been kicked out of every home she's ever been to, but she won't go to that gifted school for mutants in Westchester county. Can't say I blame her either." 

"School for mutants, eh," Ava said as she trudged on, "interesting." 

You walked along in silence, drinking in the inviting quiet of the forest and the tiny chirps and peeps of its new inhabitants. You'd almost say it would be a shame to tear this place down knowing it's a new natural habitat, but you know New York had a hundred bigger and more pressing issues to deal with right now. As long as any capitalist moguls kept their eyes elsewhere, the new jungle should be fine. 

As the forest becomes denser, you have to pull a rechargeable flashlight out to see the ground beneath you. Black bugs crawl under and over the brush and fallen twigs, and something no bigger than a cat scuttles away out of the path of the light. Ava puts a hand on your arm and you open your mouth to assure her you'd protect her, but as you look at her you realize she's ready to protect you. Arm poised out and eyes darting around for signs of sudden movement from the brush. 

You walk in silence for what feels like an fantastic eternity but when you look at the canopy you stop yourself. Ava looks up to, gently taking a hold of your hand to keep you close and it sends tingles up your arm. She rarely reaches for you but she seems to be growing more and more confident of it. 

Light dances beyond the thicket of the leaves. Green and gold flashes as a soft breeze creates gaps beyond the chitauri rib ceiling and every time a light flashes you feel warmth on your skin like soft little kisses. 

Something wooden creaks, and that creaking quickly turns to snapping. You unconsciously squeeze Ava's fingers as you spot a black tree trunk beginning to fall towards you. Suddenly, Ava's arms are around you and she pulls you down into a duck. 

Everything happens so fast it blinds you. You can't see, can only feel as shivers of warmth and cold jitter through your entire being, drowning you into sensations you've never felt before. It makes you feel fear more than anything. Is this how you die? Cowering? 

When the sounds of falling trees stop, there is only the wind and the rush of Ava's windbreaker against yours. You test your fingers to see if they still work and dig them into her back. Nothing broken, you're still standing if gravity is correct. 

She finally lets you lift your head from her embrace and survey the scene. That tree opened a spot in the canopy for more natural light to pour in which is good because your flashlight was lost among the thick bramble bushes. 

Ava brushes your forehead. "Are you OK?" 

It must be a trick of the light but she looks like she's shimmering. Perhaps you hit your head or something but it seems like you never fell. Your standing just beside the fallen tree but you could have sworn you'd almost felt it go through you. And then…

And then there was the smell of roses. 

"I'm fine," you say at last. "Let's get back, probably shouldn't have come here by ourselves anyways…" 

Ava gives you a look, it almost looks like trepidation. You steel your resolve and press on to retrace your steps, knowing you had a lot of walking to do before you would exit the treeline. 

Ava has powers and you're ok with that. You'll just let her tell you in her own time. 

[ask-the-team-rocket-executives]

I'm sorry to bother but I just love them so much- ehhhh O and L?? Proton is my fav in case you don't wanna do all of them

L = Love Confession: How would they confess to their s/o?

Ariana: I believe she can be more self conscious about how she comes across to others than she lets off, so I believe she would try to read the situations they're in and see if it's appropriate and the mood is right. It would take her a while before admitting her feelings because she'd want to make sure she actually feels a certain way for someone and would be willing to be in a committed relationship with them, and also because she doesn't want to get rejected by someone she would quickly be dismissive about because she didn't know that she'd fully like and accept them anyway. If she feels like she could get away with admitting her feelings flirtily I'm sure she would, because in her mind it seems like a more relaxed approach than walking up to them or looking flustered or saying something "dumb" in front of someone who could quickly become an "enemy" for lack of better term from undermining her or using her to up their position in some way.

Archer: I think that Archer would have similar feelings as Ariana, but with less fear of the "consequences" of rejection and more fear of what to do with his feelings of rejection. When he does admit his feelings he would either take the approach of waiting for the time to be "right" (Outside of work hours obviously and also most likely not in an extremely flirtatious way like Ariana.) and shows up to their residence suddenly or to a planned meet up with flowers. Either way I think that besides often making eye contact and chatting or watching over them or eating lunch near them (Silently sometimes because he's not sure of what to say and decides to say nothing at all.), he would still come off a bit sudden at first to not be harassing at work and to get his feelings in order before deciding to confess.

Petrel: I honestly believe thay Petrel can be a bit flirty, but he never really gets close to anyone or proceeds into a lot of relationship type behaviours often because he knows he's not committed enough and isn't going to pretend to be a "hot shot" who keeps people waiting and wondering or weaves in and out of relationships status like a greasy frat boy. When he does really like someone though I think it hits him like a ton of bricks in the sense that although he smiles at them and greets them, but he gets flustered easily and overthinks responses while he is already engaging and giving a response. It's funny to think that he's just self aware enough to know that he may actually like someone. His grooming habits and amount-of-cologne-to-proximity-of-person-he-likes ratio defidently picks up and he tries to stop by and talk to them as much as possible, even if it's just small talk. He tries to be funny but it may not always work, so he's left to look like he's acting laid back but is cursing at himself on the inside. I think that because he knows that he thinks he feels a certain way for someone and doesn't want to be that "guy who became a close friend but actually wants to canoodle with you and was waiting for your "permission" supposedly" person, he doesn't want you to start confiding in him until you know that he likes you romantically so you don't feel disappointed or confused later about why he listens and spends time with you. He may admit it suddenly during a late night friendly hangout to make sure you know his feelings and position, or by coming up to you with flowers or during a quiet night on the balcony. I don't know if you'd call them all romantic exactly but at least he's honest.

Proton: One could almost say it's like he's testing the waters of thoughts of liking anyone in general to the point of dating, or, not unlike a cat sniffing a piece of cheese to see if there's a pill inside. At first he seems a bit weird or very dissimive of someone he thinks he likes, to the point where he's in their peripheral looking at them often while doing things (With those laser eyes that make you think you did something wrong, are about to get scolded, or just generally makes you self conscious (Do I have a boogie, a zit, or messy hair?)) or his gaze doesn't hold for long when speaking or giving instructions (If he likes someone he works with.). Knowing how precise, analytical, and collected he is though, it's hard to tell that he's avoiding making eye contact because he often shifts his gaze to documents or something around him and back which may look mysterious and almost cunning, but is actually him being flustered and feeling unsure. He tends to come across weird in other ways like you're about to be scolded or shood away, or the way he seems to pop up without a sound out of nowhere (Tries to "act cool" but is accidently ghost walking into a room.) or help complete tasks whether work or personal without much verbalizations outside of relevant questions, and long stares (Wit them lasers again. 🙈) before suddenly departing. It's mostly a lot of odd feeling alone time, even if that alone time is just being the only people in a room at the moment at work. He'll try to make small talk better as time goes on, but for a little while it's curt answers from him and sudden questions about your interests and day that sound like interrogations towards you. When he does feel like he's ready to confess, he'll probably end up settling on going to a museum or having a picnic somewhere secluded and admitting his feelings by the end of the day by taking your hands in his and saying "I like you" or leaning back on the picnic blanket and saying the same phrase. It will probably be the first time he's looked deep into your eyes without you thinking you had a boogie. 💖

@blxxdingtoy I'll be making "O" in a separate post! 😊💕 And don't worry, you're not bothering me at all!! I love all of these characters a lot as well and would love to make more posts about them! You're giving inspo and helping me build my writing skills as well; thank you so much! ☺💖 I tried to make Proton's longer as well obviously (He's a fave of mine too. 🙈💖💕). Feel free to send asks any time they're open! 😊💗

[starfleet-jelly]

Andorian Headcanons

Requested by: @irchocolate

Just like my last set of headcanons this has no base in canon really and just stuff that my brain creates thank you

* Andorian blood is also copper based, (I didn’t mention this in my last head canon post and I’ll probably add it to my add list but I think for Vulcans their blood has some other compound in it to make it green).

*Andorians are insectoids!

* Because Andorians live in caverns underground, the air can be a little thin at times.

* Andorians have a really high metabolism.

* Andorians are like radiators, they’re really warm! Perfect to snuggle with in the winter.

* Andorians also like to sleep in groups, it’s actually both cultural and instinctual. Because it’s so cold on Andor/Andoria sleeping together keeps anyone from freezing to death in their sleep, especially the children.

* Because Andoria/Andor is so cold Andorians have a mostly meat based diets, they have some plants that grow and they eat, but too much fiber is bad for Andorian stomachs.

* Andorians marry in groups of four or more, and the groups and consist of any combination of genders. Some Andorians marry in twos, but is rare and unusual. However, Aenar do only marry in twos.

* Because they all sleep in groups together Andorians have almost no concept of personal space. They love to be near each other. The only intimate touching is touching that is meant to be intimate and antenna touches.

* Andorians give lovers and offspring antenna kisses! Two Andorians stand close together and gently tap antenna together. It’s similar to kissing or hugs and is a display of affection.

* Andorians who aren’t well trained are horrible at hiding their true feelings, the antenna give it away! It’s a part of their body language.

* Andorian ale has a really high alcohol content, it can reach up to 80-90%. They can drink a lot of it safely because of their high metabolism.

* Shran most definitely watered down the ale he’d given Archer, no need to accidentally kill his new pink friend!

* Speaking of pink, Andorians have a very different way of seeing. They can see hundreds of more colors than humans can. Seeing more colored helped Andorians find more food in a planet that is covered in mostly white.

* They may be able to see more colors but unfortunately Andorians don’t have good eyesight. Living in caverns underground you really don’t need to see too far anyways. Their eyesight ranges at 20 / 30-20 / 70 based on a human snellen chart. (Better then my eyesight though >.>)

* Andorians keep pets too! There’s a giant beetle like creature (about half a foot to a foot long) Andorians love! They love their pets as close as family, so Archer’s love for his Beagle wouldn’t be too foreign to an Andorian.

* Andorians usually have between 1-4 children during one pregnancy. It’s more common to have 2-3 though.

* Unfortunately, during the end of the 22nd century and until the mid-23rd century a virus went around causing difficulty in pregnancy. This caused a steep decline in their population.

* Andorian bones are damn near impossible to break. They’ll sustain impact related internal bleeding well before breaking any bones.

* Andorians are really good with the cold and the heat, but obviously they prefer to be nice and cool

* Andorians are incredibly selfless, and loyal. More so to their own people than others, but if you gain an Andorian as a friend, I can guarantee you’ll have a loyal lifelong friend.

* When Andorians want to join the military they pair up and go to the surface for survival training. The surface is cold and harsh. A mild snow storm can blind anyone, only being able to see an arms length away. To pass training both Andorians must come back in an Andorian week alive. It’s a difficult test however Andorians are very motivated and with team work most are able to pass.

(This last headcanon is really iffy and I’m not sure if I like it or dislike it, the idea is interesting but I’m teetering) 

* Ever wondered where Andorian silk comes from? The Andorians of course! Female Andorians can produce the silk from a gland inside their throats. This adaptation evolved to protect infant Andorians after they were born. The silk not only was strong enough to protect infants from small predators but also cold winds, and the silk had antibacterial properties that kept the child from getting sick. When the child gets bigger he will eat the silk. Childless Andorians can still produce the silk and often to do sale it intergalacticly but it is difficult to produce a lot and takes a lot of energy. This is why Andorians silk is rare and expensive.

[tarantulas4davey]

Can I ask about the alternative face reveal hcs? I know Tumblr screwed you over the last time but if you still would like to share, I’d still be interested!

i’ve been having a day but this i can do !! one batch of anxious albert coming right up 🛎

prepare to feel race’s unending rage right along with him cause it’s very justified

so chances are someone recognized race from a distance

definitely didn’t approach him or albert would’ve put his sunglasses on and ducked away to hide cause he’s a dork

the boys were probably being cute and couple-y and this person was like “hey that’s race! so that must be red” cause,,,,, 1+1 is 2, yk

and because he has no idea anyone’s recognized him, let alone has a camera on him, you can totally see albert’s face in the pictures this person took

and they post it EVERYWHERE

(this person is definitely not a fan cause idc if they’re fictional there will be no race and red stan slander in this house, they’re perfect)

albert’s face connected to his handle is all over every social media - hell, there’s even articles written about it - by dinner time

which is, of course, when they first see it

well

race does, but albert can immediately tell something is up cause race looks beyond furious and in serious danger of pitching his phone as hard as he can into a wall or something

so albert, as one does, asks him what’s wrong, and gets up to see what’s making race so angry

albert grabs the phone from his hand (to save it, of course) and time seems to just stop

cause he’s looking at,,,, well him, on the screen, posted publically for everyone to see

to put it kindly, panic is setting in

his chest is burning, and somewhere in the back of his mind he registers he should probably breathe, but he can’t cause feels like a vice is slowly closing around his rib cage and no matter how hard he tries he can’t get a breath in

he can feel the lump in his throat rise and his eyes fill but he tries to push the tears down cause this can’t be happening there’s nothing to panic about cause thatphotocantbefuckingrealohmygod

he feels race stand up next to him and put his hands on albert’s shoulders trying to coax him into breathing, but it’s like he’s watching it happen to someone else

race finally reaches down and places albert hand against his chest just over his heart, exaggerating his breathing and asking albert to mimic him

it takes a moment, but the thump of race’s heart under his hand grounds him enough to let him drag an uneven breath in, then another and another

his chest stops burning and he can actually hear the hushed but comforting words race is babbling out in a rush cause he’s always terrified when albert panics like this

race, still clutching albert’s hand to his chest like he needs it as much as albert does, grabs albert’s phone out of his pocket

race’s voice is still soft when he asks if albert is ok, and although he still looks vaguely disbelieving when al nods his head numbly, he presses a kiss to albert’s cheek and sends him off towards their room

he takes all of 10 minutes to issue a tweet from the chaotic red twitter saying “in light of the recent total invasion of privacy, red will be offline for a bit. i hope all of you understand. message me if you have any questions. -race”

the tweet from his own twitter is,,,,,,, much less tame (not to mention the instagram story live where he explains everything and also rants a bit more)

it’s an 8 post thread of pure rage-fueled ranting, and every word of it is justified

race also manages to get the original posts taken down, but by then it’s spread like wildfire and been saved and screenshot and reposted a thousand times over and it’s really no use anyway

when he walks back into their bedroom, albert is sitting up, still in his regular clothes, staring blankly at the wall

race coaxes him into pajamas and just,,,, holds him? there’s not much he can do other than just be there (which race hates, btw. he likes to be able to solve problems, and it upsets him he can’t solve this one, especially cause albert is hurting because of it.)

albert is completely offline for over a month and a half. he deleted all the apps off his phone the next morning.

it’s a random tuesday when he decides to redownload twitter and see what’s going on. the level of support STILL happening over on twitter for him makes him genuinely smile, and he replies to a few of the nicest or funniest ones

he basically tells everyone “i’m not officially back yet, but i’m not completely gone anymore. streams and videos, will take a bit of time, but i’ll be around :)”

fans are,,,, enthusiastically excited, to put it mildly

they loose their fuckin minds

(the simps have already doubled and he’s already read at least 50 tweets about how “hot” he is. he doesn’t know what to do with that, honestly)

he mostly just starts cropping up in race’s videos little by little

and then he starts streaming on twitch, just to test the waters

then he releases the same video he releases in the original face reveal (albeit with a bit more anxiety and a lot more general vibes of race yelling not to invade their privacy like that again from behind the camera)

then the face cams and cute twitch moments start

and it takes longer for him to be,,,,, ok? and comfortable? in front of the camera, but the dynamic settles in pretty quickly and we get our happy boi back :,)

so,,,,, i did it! not a super big fan of it and i still prefer the official version i posted BUT it was really fun and i hope you like it :))

also, angst is NOT my strong suit so i hope it’s not too terrible, i did my best ✨

thank you for the idea lovely <33

[palettepainter]

Do you have any headcanons on when Ecto and Higari got together or when they were younger?

Yep! Here are some

-I mentioned in a post with Higari’s family that Higari left for the city at 16 to go on UA’s support course. With him being raised in the country and the family still recovering from the passing of his dad Higari was very nervous and hesitant when he first joined UA. He was the awkward one in class, the outcast, he knew little to nothing about city life, the only thing he did know was his Uncle’s home (I have yet to draw out his uncle but hopefully can soon) where he was staying while studying at UA. I imagine Powerloader probably got bullied a little, being the shy quite kid he got unwanted attention, it never escalated to Higari getting seriously hurt, it was mostly stuff like name calling, throwing paper at him in class, people taking his seat, the worst it ever got was when he started to get pushed over in the hallways. With Higari still being emotional over his dads death lead to him lashing out, which then resulted in him getting in trouble. The bullying didn’t help Higari in classes either, and his anxiety made him forget things more easily, and his grades gradually began to drop. 

-Ectoplasm on the other hand was the total opposite. I have my own headcannon for his parents and I don’t want to spoil too much, but basically his parents where very well off money wise and work in the music industry, hence why Ecto has a love for singing - they weren’t millionaires by any means, but they where well know for their occupations and thus had plenty of money. Because of this Ectoplasm was considered somewhat famous among his classmates, and maaaybe a teenie part of him enjoyed the attention at first. Unlike Higari Ectoplasm had a large social circle and was good at talking with people, though he never really felt like he had a propper close friend. With his parents again being well known and quite wealthy, Ectoplasm was never sure if someone was friends with him because they genuinely wanted to be, or because his family was wealthy. Ectoplasm in reality was also pretty lonely, but he’d accepted that making friends would always be difficult with who his parents where, so sadly, he’d come to accept the fact he may not ever really get a proper friend. He covers up his loneliness by studying, it helps him focus on something, and helps his grades improove - a win win. Ectoplasm didn’t really focus much on making friends during UA..until he meets a ginger haired support course kid in the library

-Their first meeting was very brief: Higari had gone to the library to try and find a book on mechanics and engineering to prepare for the end of year test that was coming up in a few months, if Higari failed to pass he could get booted from the course. Ectoplasm unlike Higari was a high achieving student, and Higari was one of the lowest. Ectoplasm who has finished collecting the books he needs walks past, sees Higari struggling to reach a book (curse his shortness), and so Ecto walks over and picks up the book for him. Higari timidly thanks him, before Ectoplasm nods and then walks away. It was the first real time Higari has actually had any kindness shown to him, so the memory of that day has stuck with him. Ectoplasm didn’t think too much on it, he just helped out, no big deal.

-The two reunite however during an class exercise a few days later, the hero course students would be paired with a student from the support course - the aim of the exercise was for the support course students to design a support item for their hero student they where paired with, and then present it as their final project. Higari was more confident in making things rather then paper tests, so he had a bit of confidence going into the exercise. Right before the pairs have been picked Higari notices Ectoplasm standing with the rest of the hero course students, and how a lot of the people from his class seem to be looking/whispering about him. Higari had never been in the city before and so knew nothing about Ecto’s wealth, he just figured Ecto must have been pretty popular. While the pairs are being picked, Higari hopes he won’t be paired with someone mean...and surprise surprise, he ends up being paired with Ectoplasm. For the rest of the day the students are given time to know their partner, and then discuss ideas for a support course item. Higari recognizes Ecto as the kid from the library a couple of days back but is to shy to bring it up, he probably forgot about him anyway. The two introduce themselves, and thats when Ecto makes the comment on how Higari looked familiar. Higari was a bit flattered he’d been remembered, and it gave him another confidence boost to explain the library meeting the two had. Ectoplasm thinks for a moment, before realizing Higari was the kid he helped out at the library a few days ago. From their things go pretty well, Higari finds it easy to talk to Ecto once he’s found his confidence and Ectoplasm is very patient. Ectoplasm propses the two meet up at lunch time to talk about the project, and Higari can only nod eagerly (he always ate alone at lunch, so the idea of someone wanting him to sit with them made him happy, even if it was jus to discuss a school project)

Higari ends up going home feeling a little better then he did before 

-Days pass and Ectoplasm is surprised at just how quickly Higari was able to design a potential support item for him, maybe even a bit impressed at his speed, While Ectoplasm trained Higari watched, studying his attack style so he could work on an item to help him. It was obvious in the first few days of Higari watching his fighting style that Ecto liked using his legs to attack, and thus Higari designed a support item that would not only protect Ecto’s leg from sustaining damage, but also strength his kicks. Higari first showed him his initial sketches at lunch time, where he ended up going on in a bit of a tangent, for all of two minutes, before he suddenly went quite. Ectoplasm wanted to ask why he’d all of a sudden stopped, he hadn’t lost interest or anything, but Higari, saying he had nothing more to say, hurriedly leaves with a nervous glance over his shoulder to Ecto. The same kind of situation happened three more times, Higari would say something smart and then suddenly pipe down for no reason. On the fourth time it happened Ecto finally asked what was wrong. Higari insists it’s nothing, and Ectoplasm - not believing him - asks again. Higari as a kid is not used to opening up to friends since...well, he didn’t have any. But in the end, he tells Ecto. He admits how some other kids at UA tease him for being so nerdy about engineering, and so he just learnt to keep his mouth shut. If he gave them nothing to tease him over, then they couldn’t pick on him. Better to be quite then bullied he figured. Ectoplasm offers him reassurance, saying he doesn’t mind if Higari rambles, and that he was honestly interested in the project and what Higari had to say if he felt like it was important. Higari may have been a little awe struck, he’d never had anyone aside from family listen to him babble, so Ectoplasm, someone who might as well have been a stranger, telling him it was totally okay for him to nerd out and ramble was new

but oh BOY did he ramble, Ectoplasm may not have understood half of what he was saying, but he listened regardless.

-Their friendship begins to grow from their, Higari feels at ease around Ecto, maybe he gets a little clingy with him but that’s all because Ecto to him was his first friend. Ectoplasm begins to view him less as just a project partner as more as a friend, and in seeing Higari light up about mechanics he too feels happy. Alas neither of the two have the courage to ask the other round for dinner or meet up outside of school - Higari was too shy to ask someone like Ecto, a popular kid, to hang out. And Ectoplasm didn’t want Higari to find out about his parents wealth and then view him differently. So many times Ecto’s ‘friends’ has really just been interested in him because of the money his parents made, and he didn’t want to ruin what he now had with Higari. In the end the universe forced them to hang out - Ecto usually hung around at school even after the day was over, he liked walking home in piece, but on this particular day Ecto didn’t have his umbrella and it was raining. Hard. He rushes home, getting thoroughly soaked in the process and is chilled to the bone by the time he reaches the bus stop. Ten minutes pass, he’s still freezing cold, and then Higari walks past. Higari didn’t even recognize Ecto at first, with how soaking wet and miserable he looked. Ecto brushes off Higari’s worrying when the smaller by notices how Ecto is starting to shiver, and says he’ll be fine when the bus arrives. It took a bit of time for Higari to speak, but after finding his voice he timidly asks if Ecto wants to wait out the rain at his place - it’s not that far from here, and he’d at least be warm. Ectoplasm thanks him for the offer but declines, but quickly agrees when a giant bolt of lightning lit up the sky and the rain fell down harder. Higari leads Ectoplasm back to his Uncles home, where Ectoplasm is practically dripping with water. 

Ecto tries to tell Higari that he’s fine, but Higari is already dragging him inside and throwing a towel over him. Higari’s uncle was a bit surprised when Higari brought a friend back home (he knew Higari struggled with socializing) but was over the moon none the less, he was terrible at hiding how happy he was and quickly made Ecto a hot drink. Ten minutes later Ecto, now slightly warmer then before, is standing in Hiargi’s room with a towel wrapped round his shoulders as Higari tries to dry of Ecto’s school books on his radiator. Higari’s room is small and doesn’t have a lot of stuff aside from the usual bedroom things: bed, cupboard, desk, beanbag and a window. When Higari moved down into the city he didn’t bring all that much stuff to decorate his new room, just stuff like clothes and other personal belongings. The only real decoration themed stuff he had where tiny model cars sitting on his window sill. Higari notices Ecto staring, and apologizes if the model cars are too nerdy. Ectoplasm shakes his head, saying that his dad had a few model cars around his home. The two get to talking, filling the silence with conversation, it was the first conversation the two had that wasn’t school related. Higari opens up a bit about his family and siblings, telling Ecto a bunch of stories from his home back in the country while Ecto eagerly listens. Ecto was and still is a single child so never had any sibling issues growing up, never had to share anything, or fight over the TV, so he found Higari’s stories interesting. Higari felt bad for just talking about himself so he eventually asked Ecto about his family. Ecto still didn’t want to tell Higari that his parents where pretty well know, so instead said that it was just him, his mum and dad - which wasn’t a lie. After Ecto had dried off and warmed up, he hurried on home, Higari insisting he take his umbrella, he could just return it at school tomorrow. 

Ectoplasm leaves with a big smile on his face.

-Higari eventually found out about Ecto’s parents half way through their project. Ecto had started going round HIgari’s after school so the two could discuss the support item’s design and how it could be made. Ecto’s parents noticed the change in their sons behaviour, how he’d always seem more happy after returning how from this mysterious friends house. After Ecto returned home after being soaked with rain he explained to his slightly worried parents where he’d been. His parents decided that it might be time for Ecto to introduce this Higari friend of his, so they plan to invite him round for dinner - despite how Ecto felt nervous about the idea. Higari was very flustered when Ecto asked him round for dinner, at this point Higari was maybe starting to get a little smitten for Ecto, but he fiercely denied it. Higari enthusiastically accepts after his shock, and spends the rest of the day trying to prepare his most smartest outfit. The next day after school he goes round to Ecto’s home, where his parents greet him. Ecto’s parents, more so his dad, was very nosing in the teasing sense with Ecto so was very eager to meet this new friend Ecto seemed so happy about. Ecto hoped Higari wouldn’t comment on how posh everything looked, but he noticed. Higari felt a little out of place in such a fancy looking home, and even commented on how fancy everything looked. The truth comes out at dinner, where Higari comments on all the framed music posters Ecto had around the home, to which his parents then admit that the family has always been big in the music industry. Ecto at this point is half sinking in his chair because NOW his parents have moved on to tell childhood stories from when he was little, that Higari eagerly listened too. At the end of the meal and after Higari goes home Ecto sulks to his room, ignoring his parents who ask whats wrong. Ecto is hesitant to approach Higari, knowing that he’ll just ask a lot of questions all about his parents and their music careers. Higari notices how Ecto is avoiding him, and is worried maybe he did something wrong. One day he manages to catch Ecto just before he leaves the lunch hall, the two are alone in the hallway and Higari shyly asks why he’s been avoiding him - where Ecto then snaps.

He knows his parents are cool, he knows having rich parents is cool, he knows that Higari is going to ask so many questions about them, he knows Higari is going to ask if Ecto could get them an autograph. Everyone always asked about his prefect parents, and he was so tired of it! 

After Ecto has vented out his frustrations he sighs and turns to leave, but before he can Higari quickly rushes infront of him. Higari says he doesn’t care if Ecto’s parents are rich, he likes spending time with him because he enjoyed his company, no other reason. Higari hadn’t even heard of the music his parents made until they named some during dinner. Ecto raises a brow, still suspicious but still desperately wanting to believe Higari. Higari begins to panic, not sure what to do, in the end he does the first thing that comes to his mind and asks Ecto to meet him after school tomorrow. Before Ecto can ask why Higari has already rushed off, leaving Ecto very confused.

-One day later after school and Ecto and Higari are standing outside Ecto’s favourite karaoke place. Ecto asks how Higari knew this was his favorite place, and Higari shyly admits he remembered Ecto mentioning it once. Ecto blinks down at hi, he remembered? The two are pretty awkward when they first enter the karaoke room together, unable to make eye contact. Higari insists Ecto pick the first song, not like he knew anything about music anyway. Ecto is a bit shy at first, he’d never sang to anyone other then his parents, but Higari is patient as Ecto looks through the different songs. After finding one of his favorite songs and listening to the first few lyrics Ecto eventually found his voice and started singing. He wasn’t sure when he’d started dancing but when the song finished he was no longer sitting - Higari stares wide eyed, and Ecto feels blush come to his face. When Higari starts clapping his hands Ecto hurries back to his seat, but manages to stutter a flattered thank you. The end up having a blast, Ecto even got Higari to sing a little (they may have danced a bit more too). By the time the two head home it’s dark, but they exchange numbers and head home, Ecto realizing that Higari is in fact, a true friend.

-As for when they got together, it took them ages to finally become a thing. Higari was the first to develop a crush and Ecto despite being smart was a total oblivious idiot to Higari’s affections. The two finish their end of year project with a pass, Higari getting a high grade for the support item he designed and, thanks to Ecto, got a high enough mark on his paper test to pass. When they graduate the two temporarily move into an apartment together, but soon Ecto’s hero career picks up and he eventually moves out - Higari was sad he had to go but didn’t want to hold him back, they talked when they could with both having busy careers, it was only after Ecto suffered the loss of his legs did their relationship begin. Higari was one of the first people aside from his parents that got to see Ecto in the hospital. Higari is prepared for Ecto to vent, to yell..he’s not prepared when Ecto just grabs him into a hug and cries. Higari is there to comfort him and support him through recovery. With Ecto needing assistant he moves back in with Higari in his apartment when he’s discharged from the hospital - Higari is there to witness the sadness, the anger, the self hatred, and he’s there to offer a shoulder to cry on when Ecto needs an outlet. One day Ecto tells Higari he’s thinking about retiring from being a hero, with his leg gone there wasn’t much he could do, and the prosthetics he’d been shown at the hospital weren’t build for combat. It crushes Higari seeing Ecto look so defeated and miserable, so much that he pulls out the old school project designs he made, and redesigns them into combat suitable prostethics. Higari spent many days at his work desk perfecting the design, making sure they where perfect. He’d been with Ecto through his physical therapy and rehab, he knew Ecto’s fighting style better then anyone else, and finally finishes. When he presents the  prosthetics to his doctors and after they’ve been approved as safe they allow Ecto to try them out. They’re a bit hard to get used too, as he’s gotten used to the other prosthetics the hospital gave him. He’s a bit wobbly, and fell over a few times in the beginning. But after trying training again, something he hadn’t done since his injury, they work like a charm. Seeing Ecto happy for the first time in ages makes Higari smile, he’s so busy praising Ecto that once again is caught off guard when Ecto pulls him into a tight hug, thanking him over and over - Higari hugged back, some happy tears may have been shed 

-After Ecto has his new prosthetics Ecto buys a bigger house for the two to live in, mostly so that if his prosthetics for some reason broke, Higari would be able to fix them quickest. But it was also becasue Ecto was starting to get a little crush on his old school friend. I’m not really sure how they two would announce they’re dating, it just sorta...happened. They where both shy and a little awkward at first when it came to kissing, but they’ve got the hang of it now!

Some other small notes~~

-Ecto wanting to become a hero was at first a sort of rebellion thing. He got tired of friends always asking about his parents and their career, so when it came to choosing a course he picked the hero course, not wanting to be apart of his parents music career. Jokes on him cuz in the end Ecto ended up liking the idea of helping other people by being a hero, and his parents where supportive 

-When Ectoplasm told his parents he and Higari where dating his parents admitted that they thought Higari and Ecto had been dating since their time at UA. And despite Higari’s worries Ecto’s parents like him

-I’ll draw his dad out eventually but Ecto’s dad spoiled the crap out of Ecto. Both Higari and Ecto had fun loving dads while their mothers where more serious. Ecto’s dad was ready and prepared for when Ecto brought a girl or boy home, he’s got a tone of baby photos of Ecto and he’s ready to embarrass him (which he did when Higari came over years later, Higari was very amused)

-With Ecto and Higari both being teachers at UA and not wanting to draw villains attention, they had a small private wedding with some close work/school friends and their parents. The real celebration began when Ecto, Higari and their friends from UA all went out to karaoke to celebrate. Everyone got drunk

[sokkastyles]

Thanks for asking! I realize I never elaborated on the Jet/Zuko parallels so here goes.

Season one Zuko/Jet are both extremists, though on opposite sides of the war. Zuko will stop at nothing to capture the Avatar. Jet will stop at nothing to rid the world of the Fire Nation. Zuko is the fallen prince, while Jet is the war orphan, both trying to restore what they’ve lost. And both have significant interactions with Katara.

Focusing on book one first, I’ve already written about how Jet manipulates Katara, which makes it worse not only because she did have romantic feelings for him, but because she was totally taken in by his whole freedom fighter thing. He also manipulates Aang and tries to manipulate Sokka, but Katara was the main one who felt betrayed by him. Katara has such a big heart and fighting spirit but at this point in the story she is fairly naive, and it shows here. She probably never considered before this episode that somebody fighting on the right side could be a bad person.

I also looked up the mouth wheat thing because I’ve seen it a lot in anime for similar “tough guy” characters and as that other post I reblogged said, it is a stand-in for cigarettes. I also found out that it’s supposed to represent a banchou, which is a juvenile delinquent gang-leader. And Jet is the leader of a bunch of feral kids, although they are ostensibly revolutionaries. Longshot, Smellerbee, and the Duke do seem like they have good intentions, and they often call Jet out on his behavior.

I also think there’s a comparison/foil with Katara’s interactions with Zuko in book one, which revolve around the necklace and his attempted kidnapping of her. Zuko tries to manipulate Katara using her mother’s necklace but is not very good at it. Not necessarily because he has any moral compunctions but because he’s just not that socially adept. He is most often the victim of his father and sister’s manipulations and the few times he tries to copy them he fails ridiculously, because he is incredibly literal-minded. He’s blunt and often fails to understand things that aren’t directly spelled out. He is not a manipulator.

I’ve also seen people compare Jet flooding the Fire Nation village to Zuko burning down Kyoshi Island, in order to make Zuko look worse, but as I’ve said before, Zuko burning down Kyoshi Island was not intentional, it was something that happened as a result of reckless firebending. That doesn’t make it any less bad, but it seems like it’s been popular recently to add this to the list of things that make Zuko “problematic,” so much so that I actually forgot that scene and was surprised when I rewatched the scene recently and discovered it wasn’t the intentional razing of the village that some people on tumblr make it out to be. Zuko’s fault there was simply not caring about the collateral damage in his pursuit of Aang. He wasn’t intentionally trying to burn down the village. Plus, if we were being honest, all the gaang would cause destruction wherever they went given how much bending they do. That’s not something the show dwells on, though, the way that superhero movies don’t dwell on New York getting destroyed for the hundredth time (unless it’s a deconstruction of the genre).

What Jet does is much more deliberate. He’s aware that what he tricks Katara and Aang into doing will cause the deaths of innocents, and dismisses Smellerbee when she tells him so, and he’s aware that the gaang will not approve of his actions enough to hide it from them. There’s also an interesting elemental parallel/foil, Jet destroys a village with water and Zuko destroys one with fire - foreshadowing that water can also be destructive? Hama, anyone? Robert Frost said it. 

I think I know enough of hate to say that for destruction ice is also great, and would suffice.

Anyway.

Book two, the Jet/Zuko parallels/foils are much more explicit, and highlighted by the fact that they actually meet in book two. Zuko’s on redemption road, although he doesn’t know it yet. Jet explicitly states that he wants redemption, although he’s still doing the same things he was doing before. He enlists Zuko in helping him steal stuff because he thinks he’s entitled to it, and I guess you can argue about whether it was justified, since the captain was treating the refugees unfairly, but Jet mostly seems interested in stealing food for himself and his group. To be fair, Prince “ew, poor people” Zuko doesn’t exactly have egalitarian motives, either, which is why helping Jet steal food is a regression in his arc. It’s him donning the Blue Spirit identity (although without the mask) once more because he’s trying to get closer to the material life that he lost. It’s also hilarious that when Jet asks Zuko to do this, Zuko’s dumb ass is like “well, Uncle did tell me to make friends.” Sometimes I wonder who was more naive, book one Katara or book two Zuko. Iroh is like “god, I leave him alone for five minutes and he joins a gang.”

When Jet keeps pressing Zuko about joining the Freedom Fighters, Zuko says no. Again, not for any moral reasons, but because he knows that if Jet keeps pressing, he might find out who Zuko really is. Zuko is honest with Jet when he says “I don’t think you want me in your group.” Not for good reasons, again, but the claim that Zuko somehow manipulated Jet is absolutely wrong. Jet was the one who approached Zuko and made assumptions and got pushy when Zuko said no.

Jet does genuinely want and try to change, but his major temptation is finding out that Iroh is a firebender, which he finds out right after he gets pissed that Zuko rejected him so I do think that was part of his motivation for going after them, considering how pushy Jet acted with the gaang when they rebuffed him. Jet, of course, fails the test, although what happens to him certainly isn’t his fault, even if he did make mistakes. It’s a tragedy that in the end, the choice to turn his life around was taken from him, and he was betrayed by the people who he thought were the good guys. This also highlights the theme that sometimes people on the “good” side can be not nice people, which in turn paves the way for Zuko’s redemption and the wider theme that it is actions that matter the most, not which nation you are from. Separation is an illusion, folks.

Zuko’s test happens first when he attempts to steal Appa, the last time he dons the Blue Spirit mask, and then in “The Crossroads of Destiny.” Unlike Jet, Zuko doesn’t know he’s being tested, he doesn’t know he needs to change, although Iroh keeps telling him he does. The change happens in Zuko without him realizing it.

Katara tries to heal Jet, and Jet dies. Katara almost heals Zuko, and Zuko betrays her. And this time Aang is the one who almost dies, who Katara has to heal. This certainly contributes to Katara’s mistrust of Zuko later on, all three of these events tied together. And all three boys are people she has romantic tension with.

Which brings me to another reason I dislike Jet, or rather, what he is meant to be in Katara’s story. Many people have pointed out that Katara is romantically attracted to Jet, and his superficial resemblance both to the “bad boy” trope, and to Zuko. There’s a reason Zutara shippers make this comparison, although I believe its purpose in the narrative was actually to be anti Zutara and provide support for Kataang, but because the writers really didn’t know how to write Kataang properly, it ends up as the opposite.

Recently I saw a post by a popular blog that was anti Zutara that cited Jet as an example of Katara having “low standards.” And like, I can’t entirely blame the post for its misogyny (Katara is FOURTEEN) because this is what the writers want us to think. Katara’s attraction to Jet is very much playing on the “girl develops a crush on the jerk who doesn’t care about her” stereotype. This is, subtly, one of the ways that the show punishes Katara for not returning Aang’s crush. Interestingly, in this episode Aang doesn’t get jealous of Jet at all, and doesn’t even notice Katara’s attraction, but that’s because Aang in this episode is also still naive and in his early stages of his attraction to Katara, and also thinks Jet is super cool. Sokka instantly hates Jet, though. And Sokka is right, but he also has flavors of the over-protective big brother. I do remember that this episode left a sour taste in my mouth because of the (thankfully downplayed) implications that Katara is a silly girl who falls for the “wrong” types of guys because women don’t know what they want and need a man to help them “discover” their feelings. I also think this is meant to be subtextual in Katara making the hat for Jet which Aang ends up wearing, because Aang is the “good guy” who really does care about Katara, you see? Thanks show, I hate it. To be fair, I blame the writers for this, not Aang. Aang is just having fun hanging out in a treehouse and gets to wear a cool homemade hat. It’s the writers who put this weird misogynistic pressure on Katara.

It’s funny though when people compare Zuko to Jet in order to prove Zutara wrong, because when you compare the two, Zuko is the one who ends up looking better, the one who works hard to repair his damaged relationship with Katara, who genuinely did change. The one whose life she could save after he had done the work to save himself.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #475

(from two days ago, oops)

What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) I really like a steady rain tapping on the windows. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No, because I'm ugly. It's annoying because I've been wanting to take pics with Girt considering even as just friends literally none exist of us, but yeah. I fucking hate taking pictures of myself and it takes a billion and two tries to get a picture I deem "acceptable" anyway. Were you named after anyone? No. What was the last comic book you read? I don't and never have read comic books. What is your heritage? German, Irish, and Polish. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. All things considered, somehow my former best friend was the worst. She was homophobic, racist, extremely self-centered, drama-driven, excessively bossy, ungrateful... I will never be able to explain how our friendship ever worked. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Burn it. With certainty. We just aren't meant to live forever. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? 99% of my life has been Cringe. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? Be distracted/not pay attention to the other, like by constantly using their phone. It's so rude. That would immediately make me lose interest in you. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? I dunno. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? I was absolutely going to college as a kid. Fast-forward to the future, I've dropped out three times and am going nowhere. Little me saw me as so, so much more successful. Do you actually iron your clothes? No. Unless it's a formal occasion. Do you rent or own your current home? We rent. Have you ever used cursive after school, aside from your signature? My handwriting is naturally mostly cursive. Do you have your groceries delivered or do you buy them yourself? We order our groceries for pick-up, so we have to go to the store, but not in. Do you have a gym membership? Sigh. I do, but Mom and I have really been neglecting going since my time with my personal trainer ran out... What’s your favorite computer game genre? Horror, of course. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you ever been severely mentally ill? I am. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? EW no, that shit grosses me out so much. If someone’s laughing, do you instantly think they’re laughing at you? Suuuure do. How would you react if your parents told you they were having another baby? Well, they're divorced, Mom cannot stand my dad, and she also had a complete hysterectomy when she had ovarian cancer, so like... Have you ever had a garage or yard sale before? How much did you make? Over the course of my life, we've had a few yard sales. I don't remember how much we made at any. Have you ever had to evacuate your home for any reason? No. Which mythological creature is your favorite? DRAGONS. I love dragons. Have you ever been to a butterfly garden before? No, but that sounds amazing. What's the biggest bird you've ever seen up close? Oh my god y'all, when I volunteered once at a wildlife rehab center, I was FEET away from some sort of falcon. Guys, you would not believe JUST how big birds of prey are. I was shocked and in total awe. Have you ever seen a double rainbow before? More than once. Were you ever afraid of the dark as a child? I don't THINK I was? What is the strangest thing you’ve been asked? Something inappropriate that really pissed me off. What was your favorite game as a child? I was obsessed with the original Spryo trilogy and would play all three obsessively. What is the darkest thing you have seen on the internet? I don't know, dark shit. Do you crack your knuckles, neck or toes constantly? No, but ugh Girt does that with his neck and it drives me insane alsdkjfaljdlfkwe. Are you constantly catching colds or other sicknesses? No, my immune system is a legend. Are you afraid of mice? No, they're precious. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I go on vacations so irregularly that I can't really answer this. I've been on a vacation maybe twice in my entire life. Do you own more than one copy or edition of a book? No. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't like musicals. Will you willingly sing in front of other people besides your family? God no. Do you eat soup when you’re sick? No. I don't like soup. Who can never fail to make you laugh? Absolutely my boyfriend. He's the funniest person I know. Have you ever been on a tour bus? No. Do you prefer listening to things through headphones or speakers? Earplugs. Are you listening to music right now? No; I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within. Have you ever unbuttoned your ex’s pants? Just one of them, but we were together at the time. What are you planning on eating for dinner tonight if you haven’t already? Mom made pizza. What was the worst news you’ve heard this entire week? Girt's mother has Covid. He's vaccinated, but nevertheless, he's still getting a test done just to be safe, and also because if he's contracted it, I might have it. And that means my mother could get it, which just cannot happen, even if she's vaccinated, too. The poor guy is really freaking out about it, but ASTONISHINGLY, I'm not panicking yet. Girt's health has seemed fine, I'm fine, so... We'll just have to wait to see what his test says. Do you have a lot of trees around your house? What about buildings? No; yes. I hate living in the suburbs, it sucks here. Would you say either one of your parents are 'pack-rats?' No. Have you ever disowned anyone in your family? For what reasons? No. Has anyone ever called you a sociopath before? No. Do you have freckles? Do you like/dislike them? Not on my face, no. I have a few randomly on my body though. Would you ever consider getting dreadlocks? No. Have you downloaded extra fonts for your computer? Oh, plenty. Who is the latest great YouTuber you’ve discovered? The latest, uhhhh. I'd probably say John Wolfe as a truly "great" one considering I watch him regularly now. Do you read the Bible regularly? Yeah, no. All the Bible does is piss me off, frankly. Name three patriotic songs you like. I don't know about three, but I do shockingly like this one country song with a name I can't remember. All I know is it has "red, white, and blue" in the title. ... I think. Oh! There's "Deutschland" by Rammstein, even though it's not about my own country. Has it ever snowed on your birthday? Maybe at some point as a kid? Idr. Do you like the way your name is spelled? No, actually. I wish it was "Brittney." It's more true to the pronunciation. Do you believe in astrology? Not in the slightest, and while I really shouldn't care, like believe what you want, it's a genuine pet peeve of mine when others base their fucking lives around what positions some goddamn stars are in in an infinite universe. They make decisions based on bullshit being spat at them that might not be suitable. I know, it's stupid to care, but I can never seem to NOT roll my eyes when I see/hear people blaming their flaws and shit on this stuff. Are you one of those people who has like a hundred apps on their phone? No; I have very few. What’s the band that you love even though you know they’re awful? I can't help but love some Blood on the Dance Floor songs. :x Do you coo over other people’s babies? No, not really. Like I can acknowledge a cute picture and be like "awww," but it's nothing I lose my mind over at all. What is something that makes you very squeamish? VOMIT. If you’re out of high school, have you stayed in touch with your high school friends? If you’re still in school, do you think you will? The only high school friend of mine I'm still actively friends with/is still in my life is Girt, obviously. Like I have HS friends on Facebook that I still very much love and will react to what they post and sometimes comment, but we don't really talk-talk. Do you dye your hair regularly? No. :/ That's not something I can afford to do. Do you have an alter ego? Describe them: No. Do you know both of your biological parents? Which one do you prefer? I do, and I love them both. Do you store a lot of pictures you’ve taken that no one else has seen? I'm a wanna-be photographer, of course I do. If you had to name your kid after an American state, which would you choose? Probably "Dakota" for either gender. What do you use to dry your clothes? (Tumble dryer, radiator, etc) We have your normal dryer. Do you ever play the built-in games on your computer? Which ones? Nah. Do/did you doodle on your books at school? My notebooks and binders, ohhhh yes. Actual school textbooks, absolutely not. Who’d you last see in a tux? The groom and groomsmen of the last wedding I shot. Who’s the bravest person you know? Sara. Have you ever dated someone who was real sportsy? No.

[spidercakes]

Across the Stars

Since everyone was so horny for that sub for hire Peter idea I posted a couple days ago :) Who am I to deny the people? This chapter is more set up than anything and who knows how long this will go on, we’ll see! Read on AO3.

Length: 2.6k

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Tag list: @prettieststarker @readysetstarker @lover-starker @starkerprince @starker-flame @i-am-irondaddy @blush-reincarnated @c6h12o6-work @von--gelmini @caseysroses

Warnings (that aren’t completely applicable to this chapter, but will come up later): feminization and sensation play mostly. In this chapter there’s blind folds, noise cancelling headphones, and wrist restraints. Nothing particularly crazy! Also, uncle Ben is in a coma so hospital stuff.

*

Peter looks everything over and honestly it doesn’t seem that bad. Tony doesn’t seem that bad either. He’d kind of expected some sleepy client who wanted to do some kind of weird stuff to him but most of the stuff on Tony’s list is tame, at least to him.

“This is pretty… well, not what I expected,” he says eventually.

Tony looks surprisingly serious considering the couple times they’ve talked on the phone mostly consisted of him making jokes and Peter thinks he’s pretty funny at least. It had been a pleasant surprise to find that Tony was a bright spot in his day instead of work given that’s what he’s supposed to be. Peter figures the part where he stops enjoying their interactions will come later, or at least they’ll feel more transactional. Or maybe that’s what’s happening now.

“You do know some of the stuff on that list are things the CIA uses as torture techniques, right?” he asks and Peter frowns at the list. “Obviously I have no desire to torture you, but don’t underestimate how intense sensor depravation can be,” Tony tells him.

He looks back at the list, at the things he still doesn’t really think are that frightening. Restraints, blindfolds, blocking off his ability to hear- none of that seems scary or intense in any way. Peter expected to read the list and immediately dislike at least one thing on there but for the most part Tony seemed to have some tame ideas. Or maybe Peter read too many horror stories, who knows. But Tony is the one who’s done this before so he considers it for a moment.

“Um. I mean, I could like… try something, if you want? Test the waters some, get a feel for what this would look like in practice,” he says. Because he doesn’t see how any of this could be used as torture, it just doesn’t seem all that bad.

The fact that Tony is interested is clear, but he’s obviously holding back. “What did you have in mind?” he asks and Peter figured he was the one taking orders here but okay.

Peter looks back over the list, “maybe combine a few of the things that pop up the most on the list. So like… restraint, a blind fold, and blocking out my hearing I guess,” he says. Tony seems to have a preference for toying with the senses and Peter figures that’s fine, he’s seen weirder stuff and he’s fine with blindfolds or whatever.

For a moment Tony considers it before he nods. “Have you done any of this stuff before?” he asks and Peter shrugs.

“Some of it, but not all at once. I’ve never had anyone block out my hearing though,” he says. He doesn’t even get how that’s a kink thing at all but he also isn’t about to complain about it either. He expected some wild shit that might leave him scarred for life but instead Tony gave him a list of things that seemed more pleasant than not.

He can see Tony deliberating but eventually he stands and holds out his hand to Peter. He takes it, somewhat grateful for the anchor as he’s led away and into a room. He’s sort of surprised by the mundane nature of it, and that it kind of looks like a staged hotel room. The bed is massive though. “On the bed,” Tony tells him, freeing Peter’s hand so he can go over by himself.

He takes in a deep breath an figures fuck it, if nothing else today will pay well. Tony might be unorthodox in how he gets his intimacy but he pays well for Peter’s time, exceptionally well and he’s not really in a position to turn down money. He climbs onto the bed and perches himself in the middle, unsure how this’ll go but sure it won’t go badly. Tony rustles around in his drawers for a few moments before he comes back to the bed, crawling onto it himself and its kind of funny, watching someone in that nice of a suit crawl onto a bed.

“Give me your wrist,” Tony tells him, holding out his hand. Peter follows his instructions, holding out his hand for Tony and he’s surprised with how gently he takes it. “Good,” he murmurs and Peter doesn’t know quite what he’s done right but he likes the praise anyway. Tony wraps the cuff around his wrist, taking his time and Peter finds the cuff soft. He had sort of had handcuffs in mind, which he knows from experience is more of a pain in the ass than anything.

“These are a lot nicer than hand cuffs,” he says and Tony laughs.

“Yeah, can’t say I’m all that fond of handcuffs. They aren’t comfortable and they aren’t nearly as durable either,” he says. “Lay back, hands at the headboard,” he tells Peter. He shifts himself up the bed a little, stretching himself out so his hands are at Tony’s headboard. Tony loops the free restraint around one of the bars of the headboard and Peter hands him his other wrist. Tony smiles down at him, reaching out and gently running his fingers along Peter’s jaw before returning to attaching the restraint. Its not an uncomfortable position to be in, mostly because the cuffs are so soft. “If you want out, say so and I’ll take these off immediately, okay?” Tony says.

Peter nods though he doesn’t see it being much of a problem. Next comes the blindfold so Peter lifts his head a little, earning a small smile from Tony as he slips it over his eyes. That makes things a little weirder, not being able to see but its not really that bad either. Just strange, because he’s used to being able to see without issues. “I’m going to put noise cancelling headphones on, okay?” Tony says softly. Peter waits for the silence to come but nothing happens for a few moments. “Okay?” he repeats and Peter gets his drift.

“Okay,” he says. A moment later the headphones are on and that’s weird. First of all they’re kind of heavy, or at least heavier than Peter thought they’d be and the silence is pleasant at first but gets weird fast. Peter figures maybe he’s too used to noise like the traffic outside his window, or the squeaking of the floor boards, or the thousand other things that make noise in his life so its… unsettling to have all that removed. He tries, for a few moments, to adjust to it but all he manages is trying to strain harder to hear when he knows he won’t be able to.

He squirms a little and a hand settles on his knee. Right, Tony is obviously still around. He’d made it clear that he wouldn’t ever leave Peter alone unsupervised assuming he was in some kind of restraint or anything else that left him vulnerable. Safety, he’d said. It does give Peter some peace of mind and the way Tony’s thumb softly strokes his lower thigh is nice, comforting.

He does decide he doesn’t much care for the headphones though. “I… don’t like being alone with my own thoughts,” he says eventually, unsure if he’d even said anything at all given that he can’t actually hear it and he likes that even less. The headphones come off immediately though and he can hear the breath of relief he lets out.

“You don’t need to wait that long to say you’re uncomfortable, Peter. Say something right away,” Tony tells him.

“I thought maybe I’d adjust. Um. Didn’t care for that though. Maybe we could do music or something instead,” he suggests.

“That’s an idea,” Tony murmurs. “And the rest?” he asks.

Peter considers it and then shrugs, “I just didn’t like the silence. The rest is okay. There’s like, more to it than this though, right?” he asks. This seems too easy and sure, maybe it could be just this but he suspects not.

Tony’s soft laugh confirms it. “No. Ideally I’d toy with your senses from here, mostly touch. You’d know what I wanted to do ahead of time, I’d send you an outline of what I was looking to do,” Tony tells him.

He can’t help the little snort he lets out. “I get an itinerary?” he asks.

Thankfully Tony seems to find it funny too, “more like an opportunity to pull anything from the scene that you don’t want to do. Sometimes people don’t know that they have a limit until they read exactly what someone is planning and they decide its not for them. Its more for your benefit than mine, I already know what I’m looking for.”

Yeah, Peter read over an extensive list of what he was looking for and then got restrained to the bed about it. Tony’s hand has settled back on his lower thigh and Peter figures this is fine, he can totally do this. Tony’s even nice about it though he thinks maybe he should have trusted Sam a little more when he said he doesn’t stock bad clients. Sam seems pretty trustworthy but Peter doesn’t know what ‘good client’ looks like to Sam so for all he knew he was walking into some crazy shit. He didn’t though, and with all the shit that’s been going on in the rest of his life he’s grateful for it. And for the ability to get out of something if he wants to. Tony seems to be big on that so you know, thank god.

“Hmm. Well, this isn’t so bad. Your bed is really comfortable,” he says. Much better than his, though its second hand. Its okay, but not exactly a king sized bed that belongs to some rich guy.

“Yeah? You did so good too,” Tony tells him, hand on his thigh squeezing a little and Peter doesn’t know what he did well really, but he’s still happy that Tony liked whatever it was he saw. “You want out of those restraints?” he asks and Peter considers it for a moment before he nods.

“Okay,” he says, not really caring either way but they probably have some other details to go over so he should have his hands free for that.

By the time he makes it home he’s tired and ready to go to bed but Liz, Ned, and MJ are all waiting for him in the living room. “Hey,” Ned says, braving it by going first. “Are you back from the hospital or your uh… job,” he says carefully, unsure how to put it.

“Both,” Peter says. Someone had to pay the bill and May’s footing the rent for the apartment so he figured he could take care of the hospital stuff. And Tony ways ridiculously well. Not quite enough still, but that’s what the regular sessions are for and he should earn more than enough to cover the hospital bills and maybe he can cut some of his student debt down, who knows.

“So?” Liz says, raising an eyebrow.

He knows they want a million and one details but he’s not really prepared to give them every detail of the paperwork Tony drew up. Guy is nothing if not thorough even if none of it has any real legal binding, obviously. “It was fine, and Ben’s the same as he has been.” One time, one time he goes to grab the milk instead of Peter and he gets shot. And its not like he took his usual route either, and usually their neighborhood is relatively safe, but he happened to walk past some guy who committed a robbery gone wrong and now he’s in a coma. Has been for over a month and no one is sure what’s going to happen. Peter hates the limbo, but what the hell is he supposed to do about it? Best he can do is make sure the cost is covered and its not like that’s cheap.

At least bringing him up has the added benefit of shutting his friends up. They all look a little awkward with the mention of him and Peter doesn’t like using him to get them to back off but he’s also too tired to deal with their questions at the moment. “Well, that’s… not bad,” MJ says eventually, wincing. Peter knows what she means though so he nods.

“I’m going to go to bed, see you guys in the morning,” he tells them, waving them off and going to his room.

He’s crawling under his covers when his phone rings and he sighs, looking at the caller ID to see if its anything important. Its Tony so he takes a breath and answers it, “hey,” he says as he settles into bed.

“Hey,” Tony says back softly, “you doing okay?”

Weird question but Peter will take it. “Yeah, I’m fine. Tired, but that's more because I’ve had a long day and I have class tomorrow.” He wrinkles his nose but it can’t be helped. He’d offered to drop out so he could get a job to cover bills but May about had an aneurysm about that so he decided maybe to not bring it up again. She has enough on her plate without worrying about that too. And then he ended up with a job anyway, but Tony is flexible. He works weird hours too, apparently.

“I thought you were a student, your schedule suggests it. What are you studying?” he asks.

“Engineering and I swear professor Beck wants me dead,” he says. God, he’s such a prick. Sometimes he’ll be okay and Peter will think hey, maybe he’s not the worst and then he does something awful and he takes it back. They have a hate hate relationship.

“Quentin Beck?” Tony asks and Peter frowns.

“How the hell did you know that?” Because that’s weird and maybe a little creepy depending on how he found that out.

“We worked together once. Didn’t end well,” he says.

“Good to know he hates everyone and its not just me,” Peter mumbles, making Tony laugh a little.

“Yeah, guy is a prick with a complex and coming from me that’s pretty bad. So uh… if I send you a few things tonight will you be up for reading them?” he asks and Peter doesn’t mean to let out a groan but he does. All Tony does is laugh though so there’s that. “Relax, its not too much. There’s some pictures too, if that helps. I was hoping you’d be able to come back tomorrow, presumably after your classes, if that works for you.”

It does, mostly because he needs the money but he also figures he should get a full idea of what this is going to look like anyway. “Yeah, I can do that,” Peter says. “And I swear to god if I have to read more than three pages I’m going to say fuck it and go to sleep.”

Tony lets out a sharp laugh at that. “Its way less than that, scouts honor,” he says and Peter snorts.

“You so don’t look like the type who was in scouts but I’ll take your word for it,” he tells him.

When Tony sends the information its really not that much. What he has planned, apparently, is more bonding than not minus what Tony wants Peter to wear. He looks over the picture and there’s nothing objectively wrong with the white teddy its just… well, its not like he often wears women’s clothing. Or in this case anything that feminine. But its not like its the end of the world so fuck it, he’ll get comfortable in sheer white material and deal with it.

[autumnslance]

Heyyy! I have a question! But first I would love to share how I love your work ^^! It's mostly why I come to you with this question... See, I uh- would love to have the courage to share my writing, and my OCs to the world. But I never found the courage to. Do you have any tips? Or do you know any good tags where I can show my work at, so that one day I will just "accidentally" press the submit button? ^^'

Thank you~!

Honestly, I still feel anxious about sharing my stories and blurbs. I still feel like my OCs are pretty basic and not super interesting for others to read about.

But they're my characters and I like them anyway, so I'll keep writing about them. Even if takes me time to put some things out. I've always needed to write and share what I write, and sometimes that need overwrites the fear and anxiety--but it can still be hard.

And you know me, this rambles, so have a cut--

I have a buncha prompts and Ao3 threads with an "unnamed generic WoL" that were in some ways me testing the waters, figuring out what worked. Eventually the "unnamed WoL" in those bits leaned more and more towards being Aeryn, until I was just now writing about my own WoL (and her friends) directly without apology. But even then...Even knowing people like my characters, even knowing people like my OC/NPC ship somehow, it can be a struggle

One reason I like prompts and challenges is they make me write something and post without dwelling too hard on it, in theory. That "Rak'tika Rendezvous" piece? I've been sitting on that for at least nine months. I have other WIPs and Drafts, some even older than that! Some are unfinished--and some I'm just too nervous to post, like that one, which was edited often and heavily revised at least once.

I could just leave my writing in a drawer or a doc folder on my hard drive--and for many years I did. I discovered fanfiction in my teens on some of the earliest sites and webrings in the 1990s. It was a different existence; I didn't have a home computer or know how to make accounts or post. I just wrote, having realized the stories I told in my head could actually exist on paper. Literally, at the time. But they also are all gone, not archived anywhere or saved where I can find them again.

Roleplaying helped me, in learning how to make characters and write about them, and then posting about them. Tabletop, LARP, and online, I've done it all. I got pretty good at editing chat logs into something readable, and sometimes even looking like a story. The forums and Livejournals they were posted on were meant for the specific communities I was in--friends catching up on story beats. My WoW server (Shadow Council) had a community-run website, RP-Haven, for years. I posted modified RP logs and stories about my WoW OCs there; a bit more open than my immediate RP group/guild, but still people whose interests I knew were somewhat shared. So the move to posting on Tumblr and Ao3 for me feels like another step, for a wider audience of people who inexplicably like what I write about. It's been mostly positive in my experience, but I write fairly innocuous stuff and my audience is still pretty small and contained.

The internet has changed over time, so any baby steps process will be different. On Tumblr, sharing writing is a lot of knowing how the Search and Tag functions work. So far as I know you can keep something in Drafts indefinitely, until you're ready to hit that "Post" button. Tags should be simple, direct, and consistent, and only the first 5 show up in the general tag search (though can pull up on your blog easily when going to that tag). Which is why I always go "Final Fantasy XIV", "whatever challenge I'm doing", "NPC Name", "own writing tags", etc. I end up following and getting followed thanks to the FFXIVWrite challenges in the last 3 years, where we're all throwing down whatever springs to mind within a 24 hour deadline to break those anxiety-induced perfectionist habits that keep people from posting. Many folks rewrite/revise their entries later, too, because why not?

On Ao3 a draft can only exist for a certain amount of time, before it auto-deletes or you have to post it to save it from oblivion. I don't know if changing the draft extends that deadline; I don't tend to save things in drafts in Ao3, keeping those in GoogleDocs. Knowing tagging on Ao3 is also a thing (I've yet to figure out as fully). Sometimes I'll share a draft from Gdocs with a friend or two for feedback and encouragement before posting ("That Green Umbral Wind" was one, and "Please" was because hooboy).

Pillowfort is a lot like Tumblr, but has features like making a post non-rebloggable, and also any edits to the post reflect in reblogs. There's a bit more control of one's posts there. Also communities, which are like collectively following a public feed people can post or reblog directly to. Pillowfort's also still smaller/less used than Tumblr, and gives out invite keys regularly. Sometimes starting small, with more controls over how it's seen and shared, can help with the anxiety.

I'm also in a largish writing Discord where there are channels for sharing snippets of one's writing, and people can react with emojis and discuss it in the related channels. That's always nice for feedback, for brainstorming, for encouragement. There are even rules now about self-deprecating and putting down your own work--it doesn't help you or anyone else to put yourself and your writing down. We're all learning and growing the more we practice and try new things, like any other art.

You can only get better by keeping on writing, but there's only so far you can get without any feedback. Even if it's just a Like/Kudos, someone read and cared. Comments and tags like "I like this line" or "I love you wrote X part" or "I like how they interact" can really help figure out your strengths, maybe what of the other bits could be worked on more, and of course bolster the confidence to simply keep posting. Trusted friends or finding good beta readers to ping things off of can make a difference, depending on how you write.

But in the end, it's making the love of your OCs and wanting to write matter more than that fear/anxiety. Giving yourself the freedom to make changes when needed, to know it's not written in stone and can be edited, or even rewritten and reposted when you know you can do it better--I see it often. Sometimes you sit on something for awhile tweaking it until it's ready, sometimes you yeet a new piece into the void as soon as you finish typing.

Knowing that if nothing else, on a day when you need to, you can go to that page on your device and reread that thing you posted and remember you still love your characters, even years later, and maybe even think of something new to write for them.