#anyway why do i always like the arrogant bird characters

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I've never played a Star Fox game in my life but at one point I was a Falco main in Smash Bros so I feel like I'm qualified to draw him :)

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Leverage Mark Showdown -- First Heat Contestants

Where the nominator left comments (or fun extra descriptors), I’m including their comments, cause those are way better than what I’d come up with. Where they didn’t leave comments, you’ll have to settle for mine :P

Mark Doyle The Bottle Job I genuinely liked him as a character, he was sleazy but so fun. The accent was fun, he was an easy mark, and he screamed like a girl. One of my fave episodes cause of him.

David Lampard aka “Truffle Jackass” The French Connection Job who the hell meets “gnar slabdash the n is mostly silent” and just TAKES THAT at face value

“His Honor Mayor Brad Culpepper III” The Three Strikes Job and to a lesser extent The Maltese Falcon Job TONAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Ian Blackpoole The First and Second David Jobs The man has balls, okay? I’ve said it before -- a disgruntled, disheveled ex-employee pulls a gun on him, and his response is to calmly ask if he’s going to kill him, then invite him to his party, offer him shrimp, and call his ex wife over to see him. Ice cold.

Mark Vector The Morning After Job he's a bitch and a sleaze and it was so satisfying seeing him go down

Greg Sherman aka “The Blowfish” The Boiler Room Job my ultimate love-to-hate. I always spend the episode going WHY DO I HATE THIS GUY SO MUCH before remembering oh yeah it’s cause he’s the bad guy, I’m supposed to hate him. BUT I HATE HIM SO MUCH!

Victor Dubenich The Nigerian Job, The Radio Job, The Last Dam Job man you guys had a lot to say about this one! here goes: - he's awful but he's also how they came together - i like the actor that plays him - THE OG. mr inciting incident. my most underrated man saul rubinek. the absolute balls on this guy. might even still be out there you never know - Not only the first and the one who accidentally helped bind together a world-class team and eventually sent them after himself - twice;  but also the first echo/cast-caĺlback to the Nero Wolfe series. - He consistently thinks he's better than the crew, but Nate keeps outsmarting him anyway. Plus, the fact that he and Latimer forced Nate into calling back some old favorites, there's a number of reasons to love The Last Dam Job. I will never get over the hacking with a clam thing - Because he came back with a revenge plan and because he started this whole thing when he screwed the team over - this guy kinda kickstarted the whole thing by being greedy and selfish enough to try and double-cross not just a group of thieves, but a man who was ROYALLY screwed by the system literal months prior by using his dead kid against him. He's arrogant, but just smart enough to be a threat as of The Last Dam Job, and even then his insistence that he "knows" the team better than Nate after all these years is one of the things that leads to his downfall. Seriously, fuck that guy.

Judge Roy The Bank Shot Job He commits to the bit, okay? I WILL turn this entire episode into a western and I WILL be the black-had domineering bad guy and I WILL refuse to have any semblence of self-awareness about it at any time!

Gabe Erickson The Real Fake Car Job Matthew Lillard is great, and I absolutely loved "Nobody's plotting to kill you, you idiot!"

Starke’s Crew ( Marcus Starke, Chaos, Mikel Dayan, Apollo)  The Two Live Crew Job They were so fun and I absolutely adored their interactions with our leverage crew.  Scott Roemer The (Very) Big Bird Job The Carey Elwes? The Howard Hughes cosplay? The fact that he thinks he stole and destroyed the entire Spruce Goose?

Jack Hurley The 12-Step Job - It was nice to see a mark that’s not a POS and have the team ‘help’ once they realised that - He was a genuinely great guy who's just a fuck up. I get it.  - He is just too excitable and honest and keeps getting into shit way over his head but is too sweet to really hate - I really enjoyed having a Mark who "redeemed" themselves to. Plus, hes a goofy character, and seeing him a second time when I didn't expect it made me double take and laugh on my first watch.

Monica Hunter The Three Days of the Hunter Job - she's horrible and interesting and you get the most satisfaction from seeing her go down. also the bit where she's being interrogated by the army and she's like "it's okay I know that there *totally aren't* any secret bases ;-)" and the guy is so tired and like "yes that's bc there aren't any secret bases" and she's like "I know you have to say that ;-)" and he's right - rip girl you would have loved qanon - I love conspiracy theorists who don't even really believe in the awful stuff they make up (+ it's a terrible human being with the face of aunt zelda)

William Quinn & Tobey Earnshaw The Juror #6 Job He was a fakeass hippie played by Brent Spiner. She was trying so damn hard to be a chessmaster it was embrrasing. Can I make it any more obvious?

Eddie Maranjian The Order 23 Job Man there’s a few marks I can’t help but feel viscerally bad for cause of how the crew preys on their fears and neuroses that they can’t help. So a little sympathy, and also like, affinity crimes are nasty fucking things but in terms of story it’s a nice change of pace from the usual white guys playing chess from their lofty towers

Caroline Cowan The Low Low Price Job Oh another one that I kinda almost feel bad for for how much they freaked her out. This is a good matchup!

[xoteajays]

I think that's what I like about the series. Since the episodes are really long, a lot of plot happens in each episode in my opinion. And.. I think Joong-ki's the main reason why I continued the show, and even some other character like Taecyeon too (amongst a couple others). I do love Vincenzo as a character. And I do love Taecyeon as an antagonist too. So I definitely love their characters. And I do have mixed feelings with Han-seo as a character though; either I love him or hate him, so that's an opinion that always changes every time I see his characters.

Actually! Some trivia. Ok Taec-yeon and Kwak Dong-yeon were hired to be apart of the Bloodhounds series, but they actually turned down the roles. So I'm happy that Do-hwan and Sang-yi took the job... I just can't imagine anyone else except for those two as Gun and Jin either.

Flick scenes? Do you mean Vincenzo's habit of flicking his lighters. Or is this about something else. But yes.. I do enjoy Vincenzo's habits.

And I actually love how the bird as an even worse enemy than Jang is too. Which is so funny to me. Vincenzo always cursing out Inzaghi.

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I'm like the Ryu of the group.. I am the only always only wearing black while everyone else around me is wearing bright clothes. And if I even wear colors besides black, every color is usually the darker colors too.

I'm the "goth" of everyone I know. I hate labels. I'm not goth, emo, any of those labels are so not me. But my style is darker than most styles.

So I can relate to Ryu in that way.

I'm curious how they became friends? Ryu is a wealthy character who also happens to be associated with the yakuza since his family would be one of the nine families. Warriors are mercenaries who are actually hired to do jobs. Like I do love suits on attractive men.. But it also just feels out of character for most of the Warriors with their new styles.

Despite Ryu being an aloof character, he does have a lot of arrogance to him too. Just humble this man in any way they can. He deserves it.

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Good news! I'm slightly leaning more toward Orange and Cobra being romantically involved. I might that I finally made up my mind on that..

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Obviously Koo would give Rocky the key because Kizzy already does make his life hell since he met her. But when it comes to Bombers or SMG groups, that would just be complicated. Since Rocky and Kizzy would make their lives hell either way. So no one ever wins this round.

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I've never had calpico so I can't comment on that. But I'm just curious to know what it tastes like though.. Apparently calpico is mixed into a lot of drinks in Japan. Based on what the signatures drinks from Club Heaven look like, I would personally say calpico is one of ingredients - at least for those specific drinks anyway. Obviously when writing your story, if you write a scene in Club Heaven, you could make up recipes. And besides! Clubs usually have more than one drink anyway, but the signature drink seems to be popular though. So there's some options.

And I've never had lychee fruit or flavors... So I can't comment on that either. Some drinks did look pink? But that could only be the lightings in the building. I could be wrong though. Obviously they're there to be pleasing women, so they would probably go out of the way to make a drink that might not be on the menu. Maybe. But because they're the White Rascals, white is their theme color. That's just too much white.

Actually.. When I was researching drinks with calpico. There was even a drink called White Sensations. I could see that as a drink in Heaven.

When it comes to fruity flavors, I can be open minded about any fruit flavors. But I tend to be too biased toward cherry and banana flavors.

Based on the menu... This is how I'm imagining flavors. I haven't really translated the menu (if it mentions flavors), but these are the flavors I am imagining for them. But I'm actually stuck on a few of the flavors.

Scratch that! I translated the menu.

Sannoh Hoodlum Squad: Orange, mango and apricot flavors.

White Rascals: Calpico flavors.

Oya: Blue Hawaii flavors (so I'm actually assuming blueberry and blue raspberry flavors).

Rude Boys: Green apple or lime flavors. Melon flavors.

Daruma: Cherry flavors. Watermelon flavors. (That should've been my cherry flavor. What a wasted opportunity for that one.)

Mugen: Chocolate flavors? Tiramisu flavors. Which is coffee flavors.

Amamiya: Cola flavors. (I know Hiroto would hate that.)

Mighty Warriors: Unknown flavors.

Kuryu: Unknown flavors.

Strawberry Girls: I'm assuming strawberry flavors.

The translation cut of near the end of the drinks. So I don't know their flavors are. Warriors is rainbow colored. And Kuryu might be caramel.

I could even tell you the food too? If you wanted me to.

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Unless you're Rocky Mitsugi. Then you have an abusive parent, which led your other parent and sibling to commit suicide. Just leaving you.. Basically leaving you to fend for yourself. So no coin flipping for him.

I know that's difficult to find a whole sad backstory for characters but it also seems repetitive at the same time. I know.. The contradictions.

it’s just. like 20 movies and i only really like 1 character so it’s A Lot. and i’m not a huge fan of lawyer shows, so whenever they start talking law stuff im like ‘eugh’. but the fight scenes are good and i like vincenzo himself.

the flick scene! when vin and chayoung make a bet and chayoung loses, so vin gets to flick her on the forehead. but instead when she closes her eyes and tenses up, the romantic music starts playing and he’s just looking all soft at her and instead of actually flicking her hard he just taps his finger against her forehead. it was just cute.

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i used to wear a lot of black, but i’ve started wearing more colours lately. i’m still wearing a lot of graphic tees and tights, even tho i so desperately want to be one of those pretty femme girls but im. lazy. i don’t wear make up and the only hairstyle i can manage is a ponytail.

ryu just got like, friend-adopted by ice. he maybe helped the warriors out a lil money wise since he is the rich kid. i think he and ice are probably the closest. i wonder if he’d be jealous of how close of a friendship ice and jesse have.

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yay!! cobra ship!! he deserves a cute gf~

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koo and kizzy are frienemies. kizzy can try and mess with koo, but it’s not easy to frazzle or intimidate him like it is the golden bombers/smgs; which probably irritates the hell out of kizzy. i think kaito and koo probably actually get along when kizzy’s not around.

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ooh, i don’t know how i’d pick amongst all those flavours.

i am a big fan of mango and orange. blue hawaiian isn’t a regular flavour in australia and i cant get a clear answer off of google, so i’m not too sure about that. the strawberry one looks good tho on the pic. i might be tempted by tiramasu, because of the coffee, but i’m more of a fan of mocha for my chocolate coffee flavour as opposed to tiramasu.

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and if you’re rocky, you grow up into a decent person despite being a gang leader. as opposed to many others who really lean into that criminal aspect and are more of the darker side of moral greyness.

it’s hard to find a good backstory that also works to make you empathise and feel bad for the character, while not undermining that they’re a criminal and technically a villain. they’re backstory needs to endear them to the watcher! and unfortunately the easiest - and most common - way is a history of abuse towards them or a family member.

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The Golden Guard: Eda’s Dark Parallel?

           Does anyone else think that the Golden Guard actually reminds Lilith a LOT of Eda, specifically Eda as a kid, during the good old days before she got cursed?

           Think about it… They’re both sassy, hot-headed teen prodigies with an owl motif and yellow attire. And the way Lilith angrily talks about the Golden Guard, it seems her feelings of resentment mirror how she felt towards Eda back when they were kids? Lilith, who was by-the-book and traditional, worked so hard… And then there’s this younger person with an Owl motif who just swoops in out of nowhere and through talent, completely outclasses her!

           If you go with the idea that Lilith wanted Gwendolyn’s approval and had to compete with Eda over that… Then for all we know, maybe Lilith lowkey wanted Belos’ approval as well, but felt like she was being cheated out of that with the Golden Guard, who kept stealing the spotlight from her! 

          Like she was afraid he’d take her spot as head of the Emperor’s Coven, the way Lilith feared that Eda would win the initiation duel back when they were kids… And lo and behold, the Golden Guard DID take that! Granted Lilith left an obvious vacancy from her own betrayal of Belos so of course he took that spot, but still; It’s quite a sore spot.

           In some ways, perhaps Lilith is aware of this, deep-down or not; She might see the Golden Guard as just Young Eda, but without any of the emotional connection, nor any redeeming qualities; If he does have them, again, it’s not like Lilith knows the Golden Guard well enough to know these traits, much less take them into account.

           LOTS of text and speculation and analyses below!!!

           The Golden Guard is even sixteen years old… Which, is very likely EDA’s age, back when her and Lilith competed for the Emperor’s Coven! That can take on a whole new, dark meaning for her… 

          Perhaps Lilith is low-key disturbed by the Golden Guard’s existence, because he reminds her too much of Young Eda? Eda, before she was cursed- So it’s like the memory of her is coming back to haunt Lilith, in the form of someone who has no concern for Lilith whatsoever to hold him back, unlike the actual Eda.

           And in a way, it’s a horrible reminder that some things never change, that some things stay the same and Lilith can’t get past them, she can’t outgrow it like she thought she did; Because even now, even as head of the Emperor’s Coven, there’s still a 16-year-old prodigy with an owl motif and yellow attire, who is sassy and playful and mischievous, who threatens to upstage Lilith’s self-esteem and sense of power. Somebody Lilith is afraid of; Thirty years later, and she STILL has to deal with this kind of person in her life, but it’s worse because she’s actually older and should be better, yet somehow isn’t…

           Who knows? Maybe Lilith even recognized the similarities to Eda, enough to actually be sympathetic to the Golden Guard at first? Perhaps she, on some level, saw the Golden Guard as a way to vicariously redo her past with Eda, but without the mistakes… Maybe she tried to be nice to the Golden Guard, but then he quickly turned out to be a snob, he’s not REALLY Eda; So Lilith settled on never cursing him like she did Eda, but then otherwise decided that she didn’t owe him any love and could just quietly loathe his guts.

          Lilith failed Eda in part because she was an older sister who abandoned her in a time of need, but there’s not really that expectation with the Golden Guard, so why bother? She’s got enough on her plate as is, and an ACTUAL Eda to worry about, to look after, to be concerned for and patch things up with.

           I’ve even seen people make the very good point that in a lot of ways… The Golden Guard is like a Dark Eda? In the sense that, he’s Eda, had she joined the Emperor’s Coven as a kid. He’s a look at Young Eda, if she didn’t reject the Coven System, and joined Belos- Reveling in her own talent and power as granting her ‘special treatment’ over the rest, so any downsides to the coven system weren’t HER problem anyway!

           Again, this adds another layer to the Golden Guard being very reminiscent of Young Eda, and even current Eda as well… Except, he never lost his magic and was never cursed. Maybe that’s another thing he unknowingly haunts Lilith over; He’s lowkey a reminder of what Eda could’ve been, had Lilith not been selfish and a coward, or had she communicated better. Yet at the same time, he’s frustrating- Because the Golden Guard is like the worst parts of Eda, the parts that Lilith hated and made her resentful…

           And this constant reminder of the past, of her own issues with Eda back then that culminated in the curse- It could’ve made it a LOT harder for Lilith to really resolve things with Eda, because this kid keeps reminding her why she was so angry, and it’s impossible for her to move on because the Golden Guard isn’t some distant memory, but an actual person who continues to threaten her, the way Eda had…

          And of course, the Golden Guard reminds Lilith of the Eda she lost; The happy, carefree Eda who wasn’t cursed, the Eda she could’ve had in a sense. The Eda that Lilith in some ways wanted, yet is forced to confront and acknowledge is a very obnoxious and terrible person that makes her unhappy…

          And this kind of rude reminder that the Eda that Lilith wanted would’ve continued to make her miserable, if not moreso, is not something she appreciates shattering her dreams and low-key denial, of a world where things had just been a little different.

          The person you’re trying to get, maybe get BACK, wasn’t so great after all- So you just have to move on, and be glad for the Eda who IS happier with her life and more mature, despite being older and more cursed. You gotta move past your guilt Lilith, and realize that Eda is in a better place- Not that she ever needed the curse, but she doesn’t quite need saving from the parts of her life she actually chose for herself, in part to be kind to Lilith no less! Because I bet Lilith believes that deep down, she didn’t deserve Eda’s kindness, so she wishes to reverse that compassionate decision of Eda’s that only resulted in Eda suffering because of how terrible Lily secretly is.

           But, back to the subject; There’s more similarities to Eda and the Golden Guard, especially at the end of Separate Tides; How he makes an ominous warning before casually, happily yelling “BYYEEEE!!!”, just like Eda when she warns Luz about trying to have a Moonlight Conjuring in Hooty’s Moving Hassle, before heading off to the Night Market. His widow’s peak even bears a decent resemblance to Eda’s, doesn’t it? Which…

           Combined with all of the talk about bird motifs being a Clawthorne thing, it DOES raise many questions about the Golden Guard’s potential connection to Eda. Is he some long-lost son? A third child that Gwendolyn had later in life, because witch biology might allow them to do that? Some homunculus, crafted from bits of DNA from Eda, and maybe even Belos? Belos does seem weirdly fond and trusting of him, the two are placed together in the Season 2 outro when nobody else, not even Kikimora, is there; And of course, the Golden Guard wields a staff, red magic, and fleshy creations, VERY similar to Belos…

           I can’t say for sure- But the idea of the Golden Guard as an alternate Eda is fascinating. An Eda who became completely arrogant, and didn’t stop to care about others; Her cockiness and mischief becoming cruel and obnoxious, essentially the worst parts of Eda, down the path she’d always dreaded. A look into another life, a different choice in such a pivotal part of her past… Personally, I LOVE this kind of dark parallel of a character, so I’m hoping these similarities are commented upon in-universe, assuming they’re not outright literal!

           In a way, the Golden Guard could haunt Eda, because he reminds her of herself… Of her carefree youth, but what she could’ve had… But also, the terrible things she’d done. And obviously Eda despises the coven system too much to really change her mind, and it’s safe to say that the Golden Guard is not at all what she wanted to ever become… But still, it’s a neat bit of character writing and parallelism. If Belos is like a Dark Luz, what Luz could’ve been had she not grown… And the same could apply between King and Kikimora;

           Then who knows? The Golden Guard could be a Dark Eda, who got by talent and continued to take things for granted. An Eda who swore loyalty to Belos and was embraced by the emperor for her skill and ability. Jovial and cheery, but without any of the actual compassion that makes this genuine with Eda. An immature brat who never grew up (granted he’s only sixteen and hasn’t gotten the chance), unlike Eda. And if the Golden Guard is an alternate Eda;

           It’s fascinating how his roles are reversed with his alternate Luz… The Eda parallel is younger than the Luz parallel, learning from them, and taking after their motifs as well! But I guess it’s not all too surprising, with how Eda and Luz both learn from one another, though I suspect Belos and the Golden Guard aren’t as mutual, but who knows? 

          It does make you wonder about Kikimora and King as potential mediators between these duos, whose placement remains consistent… How does Kikimora, the King parallel, interact with her Luz and Eda? Did she become close friends with HER Luz, while, as Dana’s art suggests, she seems somewhat irritated by and resentful of her own Eda? So it’s like Eda and King never grew to be friends and conquer differences… As well as if King never grew to respect Luz and saw her as just a “f*cking nerd”?

           With how Luz is taking after Eda, and possibly getting a Cardinal palisman to complete the Clawthorne motif as a new member of the family… Who knows? The Golden Guard could be an intriguing character for her to bounce off of narratively, maybe as someone Luz might have, in another universe, learned to look up to and admire? How well Luz’s relationship be with the Golden Guard, if they are a Dark Eda? And how can this indirectly show us about how Luz and Young Eda would’ve interacted, what Young Eda was like, what Lilith went through as a kid…

           And, for all we know- The Golden Guard’s owl motif doesn’t hint at a pre-existing connection to the Clawthornes, but rather a future one… Maybe he’ll end up being adopted by Eda, the way Luz was? I’d love to see the Golden Guard become an evil older sibling who’s protective of Luz… 

          I ADORE that trope to death; Evil older brother with bright, younger sister, whom he cares about, and the sister cares for him too, even if it’s complicated because the sister believes in the brother to be better, while the brother doesn’t want to be better, or is at least reluctant about having to change…

           I’d love to see another Hugo and Kipo dynamic, and actually… If the Golden Guard parallels Eda, then who’s his Lilith? Could it be Luz herself? I’ve talked before the similarities between Luz and Lilith, as kids who were bullied and struggled with a lack of talent, but made up for it with hard work and ingenuity; They’ll give you a lot of trouble for doing the right thing, but then happily leap at the opportunity if they think someone is improving.

           And, as Separate Tides has also shown us; They both grapple with guilt over making Eda suffer, unintentionally to varying degrees. Luz and Lilith both learn that they’re not a burden and that it’s okay to ask for help, and come to terms with their guilt with Eda… If Belos and the Golden Guard are Luz and Eda reversed, then could Luz and the Golden Guard also be Lilith and Luz, reversed?

          With the Eda parallel being the older sibling in this scenario… An alternate timeline where Eda and Lilith were the same people, but switched places in birth, and it was EDA who ended up being the cruel and toxic sibling who left the younger feeling demeaned and worthless. I imagine if that were the case, the Golden Guard’s toxicity would occur largely in the beginning, as he acts adversarial to Luz and mocks her, taunts her over Eda’s loss of magic, and her own glyphs no doubt; The Golden Guard doesn’t seem to acknowledge glyphs as a valid form of magic himself.

           But then, if he were to get a redemption, the Golden Guard’s tune might change as he matures and learns to treat Luz more kindly… In a way mimicking how Eda really grew to care for Luz, but also the way Eda has begun to reconnect with Lilith, except with the Golden Guard as the one with the baggage and guilt.

           And, a redemption might not be too implausible, because… He is literally only sixteen, the same age as Emira and Edric, and likely the same age as Eda when SHE was cursed. Younger than Lilith, when she made the worst mistake of her life, because she didn’t understand the coven system for what it truly was –and who could blame her?- and was grappling with a likely terrible mother in Gwendolyn… The Golden Guard is literally a minor, and possibly an overworked teen prodigy.

           After all, the first glimpse of his personality Dana gave us, way back in 2020, was of the Golden Guard admitting that he was tired; And despite his usually cheery personality, all of our glimpses at his face behind the mask (symbolism!) have had him look likely serious and glum… But then again, we don’t see the lower half of his face, so who knows? 

          Perhaps the Golden Guard is abused and overworked by Belos, kind of like Amity with her parents… The Golden Guard is a child dealing with a very toxic influence, and a huge burden of responsibility no less. And with all the potential connections to Belos as maybe even a literal father, or at least a parental figure, it’s not hard to see why the Golden Guard would turn out so messed up. And the Golden Guard being ‘tired’ could be a connection to how Eda is left exhausted from her curse, too.

           So, who knows? Because of his age, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect, or at least hope, for a redemption for this kiddo. But a recent sister show to The Owl House has taught me anything, kids aren’t free from death, and Infinity Train made it clear that you can humanize and sympathize and mourn someone who deserved better, yet ultimately dug their grave and was condemned to a sudden death because of that; All because they didn’t know any better, and really couldn’t have.

           And on another note- Maybe the Golden Guard has owl motifs like Eda… Because in a lot of ways, he actually admires her? He admires the Owl Lady, or at least the certain ‘past’ version that others such as Lilith may have brought up… Maybe the Golden Guard seeks to supplant Eda the Owl Lady as The Most Powerful Witch in the Boiling Isles. Maybe he sees himself as Eda, but better, and this rebellious, hot-headed kid feels the need to prove himself by defeating someone he sees himself in.

           Maybe the Golden Guard is like Lilith, as someone who wishes Eda could’ve joined the coven system, and he’s disappointed in how all her talent was ‘wasted’ on other things. Maybe the Golden Guard was disappointed in Eda losing her magic, losing further respect for his ‘problematic idol’, and/or he felt some validation and vindication in being a successor to Eda. 

          Does he hold some grudge? Did the Owl Lady’s power excite him, give the Golden Guard a goal to recklessly challenge and defeat, so he can experience the thrill of victory and add to this feeling of invincibility that teenagers, especially the talented ones, have?

           Eda as a kid, and even now, has always been fond of spiting what others say she can’t do, or setting new precedents and accomplishments to prove herself. Maybe the Golden Guard is like that, and hopes to take on the onus of outdoing the Owl Lady; Perhaps he admires Eda, and wishes she could’ve joined a coven like him. As an outside admirer, he mourns Eda’s ‘potential’ in a way similar to Lilith, but different; Because he’s a kid who looks up to her, and not an older sibling that has an actual childhood with Eda. If so, then that’s another dark parallel to Luz;

           After all, Luz got frustrated by Eda in Adventures in the Elements. So maybe the Golden Guard is someone who grew resentful of Eda for not living up to the legend he hoped, the image he wanted, sort of like Lilith! I’ll go out on a limb and even suggest him as a past apprentice, who unlike Luz, never learned to be patient and appreciate Eda’s teachings, so he turned to the coven system and Belos for easy gratification. He didn’t want to be challenged… And in that way, the Golden Guard could parallel my speculation on Belos, as also a Dark Luz.

          So of course, it makes sense that Belos would recognize this same dilemma in the Golden Guard, and perhaps be sympathetic and take him under his wing for it. Eda might not recognize the Golden Guard because he’s changed a bit himself, is hiding his own identity –Lilith doesn’t seem to know much about the witch beneath the mask either, just the public image and façade- and Eda’s been having memory issues. Maybe this will add to the Golden Guard’s resentment, who knows? He really might just be a rebellious teen who Eda failed, unlike with Luz… And that could add to more envy, perhaps.

           At the very least; Dana’s fondness for the Golden Guard takes on a whole new meaning… What with how Eda is pretty much one of, if not THE most favorite character of hers, the one who really jumpstarted this entire show and world to begin with… Having this other character she likes essentially be a canon AU version of that beloved creation, would certainly make a lot of sense! Dana likes Eda, she likes to show us about Young Eda; So a character who IS Young Eda, just on a different path, would likely appeal to her. We’ll see…

           I think it’s worth noting that in her art of the Golden Guard, it depicts him as essentially a normal, lazy teenager who’s asking someone else to do his chore for him, while he lounges around to do something else. I could see a young Eda as occasionally fulfilling that role and asking her older sister Lily for a favor- And maybe this could allude to the Golden Guard being frequently exhausted from being overworked himself, hence “I’m tired” and wanting to extend his breaks as much as possible. We’ll just have to wait and see…

[hellyeahheroes]

Robin #3: Damian makes a friend

Oh this should be good.

I kind of figured that this book is trying to humanize Damian or more specifically this issue is. And while I believe that it’s a decade too late, I think this issue did a commendable job none the less although it’s the wrong thing.

There have been anti-social Robins, bratty Robins, and arrogant Robins. It’s a feature of the character since Dick Grayson and Jason Todd encompass these traits themselves. Tim Drake, however, is the Robin that kind of bucks the trend and then Stephanie and subsequently Damian brought it back.

Humanizing Damian works when you put him in a setting that critiques him. Shows that he is wrong and why he is wrong and that he learns from his mistakes and gets better. The issue is that he always regresses and never learns.

This is Damian bragging about his recreation of Guantanamo Bay. And this is the issue with the comic’s effort to humanize the character. It does one thing every issue that makes you see Damian as a kid and actual human being one moment and then in one fell swoop, it suddenly reminds you of what a shit bird he is. So for someone who already hates this character like myself, it’s a chore of wanting the writer to not work against their own effort.

Is Damian trying to live up to his father’s legacy or is he jealous of his father’s reputation?

I don’t know much about Connor, but I feel that this conversation with Damian is the most humanizing moment for the kid. For once, when the writer isn’t shitting the bed to tell us how cool Damian is, it gives us these funny humanizing scenes that the kid is just torn between two philosophies. That he doesn’t just resent his father, he simply doesn’t understand him and looks at his father’s character as righteous and pious. Green Arrow and Batman are very similar and it only makes sense that their wayward children would be too(I do find it odd that Damian didn’t mention his former teammate Emiko). It’s kind of sad.

But also I am in a good mood after watching Damian get his ass clapped by Connor lol. I find it personally hilarious that after one convo with the little shit, you just get this urge to throw him off a cliff. Honestly relatable.

At least the writer knows Damian is mid at fighting because it would have been insufferable to hear that Damian Wayne is the best fighter in the Batfamily because of some arbitrary ass tournament.

Oh look Ra’s is white again.

Anyways, this was actually…decent. Like I said before and I’ll say it again, I do not like Damian Wayne. I never have and never will. I do question as to why this tournament is even worth going to and why does it matter for Damian to enter it, but again dumb plot with no stakes don’t necessarily make it bad.

@ubernegro

[pitviperofdoom]

TAZ balance fun sounds cool, what’s up with that?

I've posted this before! The tag is right here. But I still write it from time to time, just for fun. It's a completely self indulgent thing, just the TAZ Balance storyline with TMA characters and elements. Here's a rough lineup of the Seven Birds:

Tim - Merle with some elements of Magnus

Sasha - Magnus with some elements of Davenport

Gerry - Taako

Martin - Barry

Jon - Lup

Gertrude - Lucretia

Adelard - Davenport

Featuring various avatars in the roles of the arc villains.

Here's Jude Perry as Gundren Rockseeker:

---

“Okay, it can’t be just me,” Tim said loudly. “This place is definitely warmer, right?”

“You’ve been saying that we got here,” Gerry groused.

“Yeah, because I’m right!” Tim retorted. “It doesn’t make any sense. We’re basically underground—deep underground—so shouldn’t it be colder?”

“There can be heat underground, can’t there?” Sasha said, with a thoughtful expression. “Like hot springs. I think I read somewhere that they’re caused by underground volcanic activity.”

Up ahead, Jude Perry scoffed. “Great,” she said dryly. “Maybe we can find a nice magma pit to toss you in, Stoker. It’d be worth it for the peace and quiet.”

Tim sighed, and felt oddly gratified when he spotted the dirty look Gerry shot her. Beside him, Sasha leaned in to whisper in his ear. “Isn’t she supposed to be a friend of yours?”

“More like an acquaintance. She’s kinda mean.” He tried to keep his voice down, but he could swear he saw Jude shoot a glare over her shoulder at them. She probably did, because Gerry casually flicked her off a moment later.

“So where’s this vault?” Sasha broke in, as if hoping to head off a confrontation. “And what’s so special about it anyway?”

Jude grinned with all her teeth. “It’s up ahead,” she replied. “As for why it’s special… it wasn’t always just a place to store things. Back in the day, it was the inner sanctum of the Order of the Lightless Flame.”

Tim stalled mid-step, and Gerry’s head jerked around as if startled. Sasha simply looked confused. “What’s the Order of the Lightless Flame?”

“Seriously?” Jude snapped. “Have you been living under a rock?”

“Hey, back off,” Gerry shot back.

“My memory’s… kind of weird,” Sasha said awkwardly. “Just explain it to me like I don’t know anything.”

“Not like I have to pretend.” Jude curled her lip disdainfully. “It was, is, and will be an order of powerful wizards. The greatest and most innovative elemental evocators of their time, or any time.”

“Sounds pretty lofty,” said Tim.

“Don’t interrupt,” Jude snapped. “Wizards of the Lightless Flame spend their lives cultivating raw power within themselves, to greater heights than any mages ever before. In years past they were widely feared, and their influence stretched to every realm in Faerun.” Her eyes glinted. “There were rumors, years ago, that the order was bestowed with an artifact of pure destructive force. It was taken as a sign of their arcane dominion. Some even suspected divinity was involved.” She sneered slightly. “Not me, though. What we have, the gods can’t touch.”

“We?” Sasha echoed.

“But some among the order were… weak-minded,” said Jude, ignoring her. “Arrogant. Stupid, even. They misused the blessing, with disastrous results. By the time the ashes settled, the artifact was lost, and the order was scattered.” Smoke curled from her clenched fists. “If the artifact is anywhere, then it’s here in this vault. Whoever holds it can stoke the Lightless Flame to its former glory.”

Silence fell over the little group once Jude was finished speaking, broken only by their footsteps.

“Interesting story,” Gerry remarked. “What actually happened was: a bunch of magic-school dropouts got together to talk each other up and do all the bullshit that their teachers said they couldn’t because it would kill them. And then it killed a bunch of them. Pretty cut and dry, actually.”

Jude rounded on him in a rage, only for Sasha to cut her off smoothly.

“Hey, that looks like a vault door, doesn’t it?”

Jude whipped back around, fury forgotten. Sure enough, the tunnel had opened out to a large, almost perfectly round chamber carved out in the heart of the mountain. On the other side, a circular door of thick dark metal stretched nearly to the ceiling. Without another word to any of them, Jude rushed across the room to reach it.

Tim paused once he was in the chamber, putting a hand to Sasha’s shoulder before she could follow. “Wait. Should we wait for Melanie to catch up?”

“I don’t really see the point,” Sasha replied. “We’re already here, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, but she did tell us to wait for her.”

“Technically,” said Gerry, “she told us not to move from the last chamber. Seeing as we’ve done that already…”

“I don’t know if I like the look of this, though,” Tim insisted. “Something about it—the vault, the Lightless Flame, this artifact—I don’t like it.”

“I meant what I said before,” Gerry told him. “I wasn’t saying it just to piss her off. The Lightless Flame was nothing. Was the magic they were practicing forbidden? Yes, in the same sense that walking on train tracks is generally frowned upon. The rule’s not there to keep you from hurting people, it’s to keep you from getting hit by a fucking train.”

“Tim may have a point,” Sasha said suddenly.

“Thank you!” Tim exclaimed. “…Why?”

Sasha pointed. Jude didn’t seem to have noticed it, too fixated on the vault itself. Huddled against the wall, closer to the mouth of the tunnel than the vault door, was a body.

It was slumped over, propped up by the wall behind it, as if the person had sat down for a rest and died on the spot. For all Tim knew, that was what had happened; there was no convenient weapon lodged in the body to give away what killed it in the first place. As Tim crept closer, he could see the unmistakable white protruding from beneath the remains of clothing. The flesh had long rotted away, leaving only bones behind.

“Poor thing,” he murmured, kneeling by the skeleton. “Wonder what killed them.” Gingerly he checked the body for any sort of clue. There wasn’t much to see; the body had nothing in the way of gear except the clothes it wore: ragged, half-rotted trousers and a thick knitted sweater that probably would have hung loose even before the body was reduced to bones. A pair of cracked glasses hung around its neck on a thin chain.

“Anything valuable on it?” Sasha asked.

“Sasha.”

“I’m just saying, if he has a coin purse, it’s not like he has much use for it now.”

He checked for pockets just to appease her, carefully pulling them open instead of reaching in blindly. One yielded nothing, and the other…

“I think I see something,” he said. “Looks kind of shiny.” The dim light of the chamber glinted on something gold. A folded knife, perhaps? Tim reached for it, and his hand closed around something small and rectangular.

In an instant, the object flashed white-hot. Before Tim could react, lightning burst forth and knocked him flying. He landed flat on his back several feet back, winded and dazed with a throbbing hand, but otherwise none the worse for wear.

“Tim!” Sasha was at his side. “Tim, are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” He sat up with a grunt of effort. “Fine, just… what the hell was that?”

“Something in the corpse’s pocket,” Gerry replied, kneeling beside the skeleton. “Give me a second.” He reached in.

“Wait—what are you doing?” Sasha demanded, steadying Tim with one hand. “Whatever it was just blasted Tim across the room, and you’re just going to grab it?”

“Here goes nothing,” Gerry said simply, and pulled the object out.

Lightning crackled again, and Tim braced himself for Gerry to go flying as well. But his feet stayed on the ground as the lightning surrounded him, and the object in his hand glowed like a star. Moments later the light show ended, leaving Gerry standing on his own two feet, examining their find.

“What the hell is going on over there?” Jude demanded.

“Nothing,” Gerry replied, slipping his hand into his own pocket. “The body was booby-trapped.” Tim glanced over, just in time to see the skeleton crumble to dust. Within seconds, nothing remained but empty clothes and the glasses and chain.

“Can’t take you people anywhere,” Jude muttered, turning back to the door. “Hurry up. I’m about to get this door open.”

Tim and Sasha rejoined Gerry quickly, just out of Jude’s earshot. “So what was it?” Sasha whispered.

With a furtive glance at Jude, Gerry pulled his hand from his pocket and showed them. Sitting in his palm was a little golden lighter, oddly clean-looking given where they had found it. What was more striking was the engraving: a small, stylized eye, especially conspicuous given that it nearly matched the tattoos on the hand holding it.

“Do you know what that is?” Tim asked quietly.

“Looks like a lighter to me. Or do you mean the eye?” Gerry shrugged. “Dunno. Not like it’s an uncommon symbol.”

“Does it work?” Sasha asked. Gerry flicked it open and tried, and it produced a flame as any lighter would.

“Mystery for later, I think,” Gerry murmured, and tucked it out of sight once more. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, he retrieved the skeleton’s glasses as well.

“Hey!” Jude barked. “You three want to get paid or not?”

“We’re coming,” Tim called back.

With an immense, creaking rumble, the massive door began to shift on its hinges.

[inkstaineddove]

Man as Mirror

Ships: PruAus if you wish; background PruHun and FraAus

Characters: Roderich, Gilbert; mentioned Erzsi + Francis

Summary: Arriving home early from Paris, Roderich encounters a shirtless Gilbert in his kitchen, leading them to have a conversation Roderich could've gone without.

Vienna, 1774.

Once his carriage safely rolled to a stop, Austria stepped out of it and stretched. While even he could not deny the beauty of Paris, nothing pleased the heart quite like home. Servants rushed about him, ushering in his extensive luggage. Sidestepping away from them, he gazed up at the early-morning sky and allowed himself the luxury of taking it all in. The fading purple of night, the sun shyly poking its face out through his hedges, and the birds singing their daily hymns. Truly, there was nowhere quite like home.

Feeling sufficiently uplifted, he entered the home and mindlessly made his way up the stairs. He froze once his hand hovered above the doorknob to his bedroom. He had been burned once before doing this and while, thankfully, all other parties had been asleep, the event had caused him enough mental anguish to power him through another three decades. Still, the desire to change out of his travel clothes was nigh impossible to dismiss. Leaning an ear against the door, his decision was made for him when he heard something like a moan come from Erzsébet. Changing could wait.

All remnants of his good mood dissipated as he silently grumbled to himself about their guest. While it certainly came as no surprise – Erzsébet did this every time he was out of town and, honestly, Roderich had grown to expect it – but hearing them was different. Sure, he was no fool and they made no effort to pretend but having indisputable proof of their trysts was another. Roderich was cursed to have found a spouse and enemy full of cunning. He noted that, if the two of them ever put their powers to good use, he’d have to compliment them for it. For now, while he was their target, any appreciation was out of the question.

He felt his body yearning for caffeine and knew what the next item on his agenda must be. Still lost in his thoughts, he was completely caught off guard at the sight of a bare-chested Gilbert standing over the kitchen counter. It was comical, really, watching such a brutish man delicately pour cream into two dainty mugs, mentally measuring out the right amounts. Roderich stood back and watched the whole performance in domesticity, studying the man before him as he never had before. The way his back and shoulder muscles shifted with each movement; how he never slouched even when it would be far more comfortable to; how the whole time, he never stopped humming marches to himself.

This scene felt too intimate and Roderich understood that he was not its intended audience. What he needed most from his rival now was hostility and not misguided fantasies of marital bliss. He cleared his throat and stepped into Gilbert’s line of sight. “For me? How sweet of you.” He snatched the mug closest to him and added in his usual five spoonsful of sugar. He held up a finger when he felt Gilbert gearing up to protest. “She’s still asleep. Besides, no one likes waking up to cold coffee. It sets such a tone for the day.”

They settled into a tense silence, neither one wanting to acknowledge the other. It was childish, Roderich understood, but failing to will the other out of his existence was better than devolving into petty insults or a physical altercation. And, if he ignored all rational thoughts, he didn’t even care. When around each other, what else were they but ancient children? There was no reason for them to speak, why invent one?

“Paris again? How many times have you been there over the last three months?” There almost appeared to be a hint of affectionate teasing in Gilbert’s words.

Roderich turned to face him and was surprised to find Gilbert already observing him with mild interest. What a strange morning, one he wished he could find some escape in by returning to bed but felt certain would provide him with no real escape. If anything, the pair would wake him up and demand he leave his own damn bed for another room, that’s how selfish they were. Against his will, he felt himself noticing the strength in Gilbert’s body, all broad shoulders and muscle, the physique of the ideal warrior. All suddenly clicked on why Roderich always found himself flat on his ass whenever they’d begin to trade blows. His arrogance had blinded him to the fact that imperial power mattered little when they weren’t trying to kill each other on the battlefield. With biceps like that, his only chance to get the upper hand would be a swift kick to the groin, which even at his worst he was too principled to resort to.

He was brought back to reality when Gilbert began snapping his fingers in his face. “Jesus, has anyone ever told you how creepy that staring thing you do is? Like you were trying to undress me with your eyes.” He straightened up and shivered. “Commission a portrait, it’ll last longer.”

“Please, don’t be so crass. This,” Roderich flippantly pointed to Gilbert’s outfit, “is already enough. If I imagined you in any less, I’d be ill for at least a month.”

Gilbert smirked as he took a sip. “Funny, most people have the opposite reaction.” He leaned his hips back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Now, how much more stalling can you do? What’s kept you in Paris so much? I don’t recall most treaties taking that much time to…hammer out.” He bit his lip, trying to suppress his snickering.

“It’s rude to talk work at breakfast.” Austria couldn’t be bothered to mask his irritation. Things such as ‘politeness’ and ‘civility’ always seemed to go to waste on Prussia. “And, if you’re fishing for what’s in our agreement, you’ll have no such luck from me. You’re wasting your time.”

“You think I give a damn about what’s on a fucking piece of paper? As if I’d be wasting my time on that. I don’t know who blabs more for the right price, your officials or France’s.” Gilbert’s demeanor was too casual. “Most of the time, we don’t have to go to those damn meetings anyways. We’re little more than decorations, the bureaucrats have everything written before they even breathe a word to us. We know that, they know that. There are always ulterior motives for our little business trips. Whenever I come here, I tell my current minder I’ll be off doing a diplomatic something-or-other in Vienna for a week, don’t wait up.  They buy it even though they know the real reason I come to this shrine of gaudy antiques.”

“Your point, Gilbert?”

“My point is that you’re no different. Sure, you tell everyone that you’re renegotiating this or that little detail and maybe your officials believe it. And you tell it to Erzsi, and she believes it since it’s easier than thinking the husband she loathes so much is just as miserable as her. And maybe you believe it too because you have to lie to yourself first to lie to everyone else. But you can’t fool me.”

The whole time he spoke, Roderich was staring down into the contents of his mug. When all was quiet between them was when he finally looked up, laughing. “You must be desperate if you’re begging to get a morsel of gossip on me from me.”

Gilbert scoffed. “I’m not fishing for gossip. If I was, I would’ve gone through your letters while you were gone. And, before you ask, I’ve never done that. Not for lack of trying, I’m just not good at picking locks.”

The vein behind Roderich’s left eye began pulsating. He rubbed his temple gingerly, wincing. “I think I prefer it when you act like you can’t stand to be in the same room with me. Why the annoying younger brother schtick?”

“Maybe I’m making up for lost time.” For added emphasis, Gilbert made sure to loudly schlurp down a sip. Roderich’s wince at such a noise caused him to snort some coffee out his nose. Wiping it away, he grinned. “Or maybe I just want you to stop thinking you’re any better than me. Get you when you’re unguarded.”

“There’s a glaring hole in your plan. You’ve forgotten that I would never allow myself to be so vulnerable around you, no matter what time of day it is.” He mockingly shook his head, tutting. “I understand that, for now, we’re officially getting along just fine, but don’t mistake that for camaraderie. The first chance either of us gets, we’ll be back to stabbing each other in the back for sport. It’s who we are.”

“Well, aren’t you a pessimist.”

“Hardly. I simply know our natures too well,” Roderich sighed, growing weary at this line of conversation. “So, if this is only temporary, why should I feign tolerance towards you? Quite honestly, you’re not important enough to me for that sort of performance. Even if you were, you would see right through it. No, my energy is better spent on nobler pursuits.”

Gilbert had set his mug down, now drumming his fingers on the countertop. “I’m not asking for friendship; I’m asking for honesty.” He rolled his eyes with the temperament of a teenager. “Whatever. You got me sidetracked. It’s pointless anyways; you’re too delusional.”

“Excuse me?” That was quite the accusation from an unusual source. “At this point, you may as well come right out and say it.”

“If you insist,” Gilbert’s tone lilted up, songlike and jeering. “What you won’t admit is what I started this whole conversation with. All these trips to Paris, they’re not about work or diplomacy or any of your other shitty excuses. I know and you know that the only purpose is to blow a load in Francis’ ass and get away from your miserable life.”

Roderich set his mug down gently. There was no need for it to spill, to make a mess all over the clean marble. “For a moment, I’m going to ignore the vulgar insinuation you’ve made about my relationship with Francis.” He looked up, not breaking eye contact with Gilbert. “You know nothing about my life and my contentment with it. I understand that you are a deeply unhappy and wretched creature and why shouldn’t you be? There is nothing for you to go home and boast about, no shining accomplishments of yours not bathed in the blood of an innocent people, but do not project your misery onto me. For all your crowing to the contrary, we have never been, nor will we ever be, the same.”

Gilbert scoffed. “And everything you’ve ever done, there was only glory to be found there? All the princes you absorbed into your own lands, they were willing? The Bohemians, the Hungarians, they love your rulers? Are you pretending that only Russia and I invaded Poland because I remember seeing you at the table, carving out portions for yourself.”

“I’m not so naïve to believe I haven’t picked up the sword before. And, if necessary, I would again. You’d be wise to remember that.” Roderich straightened up, pulling his shoulders back. “But I’ve achieved just as much without force as with. The home we’re currently standing is a monument to such.”

“Please. It’s a monument to other people’s power and what it can get you. We don’t impact change, we just ride the waves of it,” Gilbert sneered. “This house is a prison for all who come in it. A golden cage is still a cage, Roderich, even for the largest bird.”

Roderich sighed with a roll of his eyes. “Mixing your metaphors doesn’t make you sound wiser, I’ve told you this before.” Needing caffeine for his growing headache, he took a sip. “I assume you’re including yourself among the captives.”

“To a degree. I can leave whenever I want – as you love to point out, I do have my own house – but where would one of us be without the other two? We are the protagonists of our own tragedy.”

“I sincerely regret that old king of yours got you into theater. Next you’ll be telling me how all the world’s a stage and we are but merely players.” When Gilbert opened his mouth to comment on that, Roderich held up his hand. “That wasn’t an invitation for your Shakespearean theories!” He rubbed the bridge between his nose, his prior weariness intensifying. “Why does it matter to you so much? Why must I parade my discontent as you and Erzsébet do? If you make your life’s purpose revenge against an unjust world – there you go! I admit it’s unjust! – you are sure to become more miserable than ever before. Perhaps you should learn that before it destroys you like one of your dear tragedies.”

“It matters because you act like you’re superior to us in every way when, really, you’re no different. And I don’t think I’ll ever understand that,” Gilbert’s voice softened with something akin to regret.

Something in his tone of voice, in his posturing, lit a fire within Roderich. His eyes hardened and he pressed his lips into a scowl. “Understanding is what you want? If it’ll get the defiling power of your pity off me, then so be it! I am better than you in every conceivable way. If I am to you but a mirror, peer close and you’ll realize it too. Where you feel trapped by the circumstances life has thrown us in, with a life that can never truly be our own, I’ve taken what you’ve failed to grasp. While you were slaughtering pagan Easterners in your little bog, I was here, accumulating wealth and power you’ve only fantasized about. I am the seat of an empire that you only have access to through Brandenburg.

“But those are meaningless things, aren’t they? Because here’s what really matters to you – the only thing, isn’t it? I’ve seen how you stare; I know that look – I’ve got what a childhood spent pining among the monks prevented you from getting. Did you ever mention it to them? How young love made that vow of celibacy torturous? How close did you come to breaking it? How many Hail Mary’s did they make you perform for every impure thought? Do you wonder what they’d think of you now, going through all this because you’re in love with your brother’s wife? Phrased just so, they would burn you at the stake again. Ah, but the hellfire is familiar, isn’t it?” Roderich glanced at the clock hanging behind Gilbert’s shoulder. “Erzsébet should be waking now. Go play domestic and bring my wife some coffee.”

Roderich forced himself away from Gilbert, who was left crestfallen with his wide eyes and gaping mouth. He had said enough, gloating would be overkill. He entered his study and locked the door. If there would be consequences for his monologue, let them come later.

The day was still new. Roderich stared out the window. Despite checking the clock, his adrenaline had made him forget the time. He approximated it was no more than nine. He began pouring himself a glass of brandy, but stopped, preferring to drink from the bottle. He gazed around the vast emptiness of the room beyond its sole occupant. He raised the bottle for a toast:

“To the prison of my own making. There is no place quite like home.”

[shadowbanki]

Vocal Synth Total Drama Island AU Concept (so far)

———Very Short Character Introductions——— (56 campers in all, aged 14-18) Haku Yowane- A sweet, lonely, sensitive girl with a lot of heart. Age 17. Neru Akita- A courageous tomboy who is misunderstood. Age 17. Miku Hatsune- A bubbly, cheerful, outgoing girl with a lot of friends. Age 15. Luka Megurine- An artistic girl who has a bit of anxiety. Good friends with Meiko. Age 18. Teto Kasane- A bubbly, cheerful girl with an unexpected temper and badass side. Age 15. Megumi “Gumi”- A bit shy, but underneath, she is very brave and resourceful. Age 16. Meiko Sakine- The Mom Friend. Confident and likes to help people. Age 18. Momo Momone- The nicest girl, to the point of being a pushover… Age 15. Rin Kagamine- Unhinged gremlin sibling 1. Loves causing mayhem. Age 14. Len Kagamine- Unhinged gremlin sibling 2. Loves causing chaos. Age 14. Eleanor Forte- The mean girl and drama queen. Cause of lots of drama. Age 17. Kaito Shion- The dorky boy who always has a cheesy smile on his face. Age 17. Akaito Shion- The moody playboy. More serious than Kaito, but bad-tempered. Age 18. Koto Fuuga- Nature girl. Knows all about bird calls, animal behavior, and more. Age 16. Taya Soune- An extremely polite guy. Always dresses formally. Always. Age 15. Ruko Yokune- Despite her height and quirky love of coffee, quite level-headed. Age 15. Ritsu Namine- Loud and obnoxious, but has a caring and wise side? Age 15. Merli Aoki- A snobby, pretentious girl. Not Like Other Girls. Age 17. Lapis Aoki- Mischievous and up to trouble. Merli’s sister. Age 15. Gakupo Kamui- He’s… just strange. And eccentric. And awkward. Age 17. Miku “Zatsune”- A wannabe goth. Basically, she’s in training. Thinks she’s edgy. Age 15. Uta “Defoko” Utane- A sarcastic, moody teenage girl. But she does have a sweet side. Age 15. Dell Honne- Haku’s grumpy, angsty half brother she hasn’t seen in years. Age 18. Yuuma- The popular boy. Eleanor likes him. Can be materialistic. Age 18. Dandy “704”- A very arrogant and vain guy. Quite selfish and loves to show off. Age 18. “Lady” Parsec- A commanding bully who demands and orders people around. Age 17. Yuu- A cheerful guy who likes parties and fun. Age 16. Wil- A somewhat quiet, mysterious guy who keeps to himself. Age 16. Kyo- A wild guy who is impulsive and kind of dumb. Age 16. Daina- Basically, she’s a furry. Her fursona is a fox. Age 17. Dex- Basically, he’s a furry. His fursona is a wolf. Age 17. Ruby- A girl who likes memes and is basically just vibing through life. Age 16. Yukari Yuzuki- A modest girl who has a crush on Ruby. Easily impressed. Age 16. Shian- An innocent girl who is also quick-tempered and pouts easily. Age 14. Muxin- A kind, knowledgeable boy. He loves history and astronomy. Age 14. IA- A bit mysterious and seems cold and expressionless. Age 16. Piko Utatane- Shy, quiet, and cold. Gets along with Muxin due to similar interests. Age 15. Genbu- Overly-enthusiastic and brash. A bit of a loudmouth. Age 18. Chiyu- Bold, brash, and brave. Kind-hearted and strong. Age 17. Haiyi- Talks a lot. Usually has something up her sleeve. A prank perhaps? Age 16. Leeds Kasumiga- A timid girl with a mysterious heart illness that inhibits her. Age 14. Mew- A real goth, unlike Zatsune, who is a goth-in-training. Age 18. Tei Sukone- A dastardly, manipulative villain who fools people, then bites. Age 16. Cider- A smug, self-absorbed inventor of elaborate but stupid inventions. Age 17. Bruno- An agreeable, outgoing guy who likes spreading good vibes. Age 18. Clara- Bruno’s girlfriend. A little bit timid, but always kind and optimistic. Age 17. Aku Yamine- Quiet and a bit melancholic. She’s… a different type of goth. Emo? Age 14. Lily- A tough high-school delinquent who stands up for the weak. Age 17. Amy- Cheerful, optimistic, yet quite chill. Doubts herself often however. Age 16. Chris- He might be a big guy, but he is quite shy and very gentle. Age 18. Kaori- She seems confident and bright on the outside, but hides sadness? Age 17. Ken- He’s talkative, smart, kind of a dork, but very focused and brave. Age 17. Iroha Nekomura- Innocent and sweet, but agile, with cat-like reflexes. Age 14. SeeU- Energetic, hyperactive, makes bad puns, silly, makes bad puns… Age 16. Kiyoteru Hiyama is the host of the game show. Big Al is in the role of Chef. ——Episodes——— Prologue 1- Introduction to concept. Characters see the advertisement for the game show and contemplate going on it. The winner gets a million dollars! Prologue 2- Introduction to characters via their audition videos, part 1. Kiyoteru chooses contestants. Prologue 3- Introduction to characters via their audition videos, part 2. Kiyoteru chooses contestants. Episode 1- Everyone arrives at Total Drama Island and meets each other. Some get along, and many clash. Notable big-drama-causers include Tei, Eleanor, Dandy, Parsec, Cider, Merli sometimes, and Zatsune sometimes. Koto, Genbu, Ritsu, Haiyi, Daina, and Dex stick out for being especially wild. But really, everyone’s unique personality contributes to the drama and pot of chemistry in their own way. Another camper who sticks out is Gakupo Kamui, who enthusiastically boasts about his skills in martial arts and how ready he is to win Total Drama Island. He begins to get on the nerves of the other campers. “I can out-run, out-kick, out-sing, out-wit, and even out-PISS anybody else here.” Gakupo says. “Well, can you do us a favor and GET-out?” Meiko says. Episode 2- Campers have to jump off a one thousand-foot cliff into a shark-infested lake. Then they have to pull some crates back to camp, and the team from before with the most people who jumped get carts to help them. Then they have to build a hot tub from material found in the crates. The team with the best hot tub wins the challenge. The campers who were too scared to jump off the cliff have to wear chicken costumes for the rest of the day. Despite his incessant bragging previously, Gakupo is one of the few campers who does not jump off the cliff, because it is revealed he is scared of heights, sharks, AND deep water! He even pisses himself and dramatically faints when he gets close to the edge of the cliff... and then he faints off the cliff! However, his jump isn’t accounted for, because Gakupo was not conscious during his fall. Luka has to be the one to jump in after and rescue him! This causes Gakupo of The Dangerous Dolphins to be the first campter voted off. “Well… I guess he was right about out-pissing everyone here.” Neru laughs. The other campers too scared to jump are Taya, Dandy, Eleanor, Clara, Muxin, Chris, and Kaito. Haku is at first too scared, but her best friend Neru encourages her to be brave. They jump together and yell funny things on the way down. Even though Eleanor is scared, she ends up going over anyway after Chiyu pushes her off the cliff, being sick of Eleanor’s arrogance. However, it isn’t even accounted for, because Eleanor did not jump by her own will. Clara is too frightened and doesn’t make the jump, which is surprising, because she was so enthusiastic before. However, her boyfriend Bruno jumped without her… Taya takes one look down the cliff and starts backing away, crying from fear. He feels ashamed that he’s so scared, but he cannot help it. He gets pats on the back from Clara. Dandy makes an excuse as to why he can’t jump. He says he has an open wound from a fencing accident. In reality, Dandy does not fence. Muxin is too scared, but asserts that he doesn’t have to jump off the cliff if he doesn’t want to, and that the challenge is ridiculous. He then comforts Taya, who is curled up sobbing, and tells him not to feel shame. Taya and Muxin become friends, but sadly are on different teams. Chris is too scared and actually starts crying too. People don’t expect it. Kaito is scared to jump, panics and makes a bit of a scene, and is then picked on and belittled by his brother Akaito for the rest of the day. Kaito then vows he will become braver from here on. Braver, and stronger! Leeds actually does jump from the cliff, but it causes her heart to become weak and she has trouble walking for the rest of the day. Some of the members on her team rudely deem her a nuisance, but others tell her to take it easy and understand her. Afterwards, Clara gets a bit sour at Bruno, who is her boyfriend, for jumping the cliff without noticing she was too scared. Koto jumps the cliff and she actually has fun. But afterwards, she wears a chicken suit anyway, because she loves birds. Episode 3- The challenge is to stay awake the longest in the "Awake-A-Thon" after running twenty-kilometers and eating a huge meal that includes turkey, which is known for making people sleepy. Dell of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for falling asleep first. He generally has a bad attitude and is apathetic. Haku feels heartbroken because Total Drama Island was the first time she had seen Dell since her parents’ divorce (by complete chance, even,) and he is not the warm person he used to be. Also, the time was so short. But unexpectedly, Dell acts nice to Haku right before he leaves, calling her to his room when he’s packing to go off the island. They have a nice conversation. Before Haku says goodbye, Dell says “Listen, I’m just not cut out for this wacky game. So you better win. I KNOW you can do it.” Haku begins crying and hugs Dell. Just like when they were kids. There will eventually be a list of who falls asleep first to last, but that’s quite convoluted. So I will say Dell falls asleep first, and Ruko second. Campers were not allowed to drink coffee during the challenge, rendering our Long Sleeper without access to her “secret weapon.” Koto stays up the longest, because she is a bird lover and loves birds too much to consume them. She was the only one who didn’t eat any turkey with her meal, and therefore didn’t become as sleepy. Also simply because she is badass and feral. Episode 4- A best-of-five dodgeball game. Five people are randomly chosen on each team. This is repeated three times for a total of three rounds of dodgeball. The Dangerous Dolphins win 2 out of 3 games. Zatsune of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for being scared of dodgeball. It was a fear ingrained into her from her elementary school days, when the “dodgeball kids would bully her.” Sadly, since Zatsune always acts so cocky, nobody feels much sympathy now. Taya and Muxin want to spend time with each other. Being on different teams, they can’t, and are deemed traitors. But when Tei, on Taya’s team, suggests Taya could get valuable information about the other team via Muxin, Taya refuses to sabotage their friendship. This causes Tei to begin picking on Taya… Episode 5- A three-on-three talent show contest. Dex of The Killer Porpoises gets voted off for no reason. He wasn’t even in the talent show! Dandy wanted to get chosen by his team, the Dangerous Dolphins, to be in the talent show, claiming his “talent” was unmatched. However, he wasn’t chosen because he didn’t exactly have any real actual skills despite his claim! Taya, Luka, and Gumi are eventually chosen by the Dangerous Dolphins for their talents in music. Luka will play piano, Taya will play the violin, and Gumi will play the electric bass as they all sing a song cover. This causes Dandy to criticize their every note and call them amateur. Given Taya and Gumi’s low self-esteem, Dandy’s criticism gets to them before the final talent show. As for the Killer Porpoises, Yuuma, Ritsu, and IA get chosen as the team’s musicians. They form more of an idol dance group, with a pre-recorded background track. (It will also be a cover.) The Dangerous Dolphins actually win. If they were to have lost, Dandy would’ve probably been the one voted off for being a prick. Episode 6- Campers have to go to the forest, stay out there overnight, then race back to the campgrounds in the morning. Yukari of the Killer Porpoises gets voted off. See, it wasn’t really Yukari’s fault, but… she got attacked by a bear and is now too injured to stay for the game, so the voting off was mandatory, even though the Killer Porpoises otherwise won. Everyone becomes more-or-less traumatized at this, and feel very hurt for Yukari. Episode 7- Campers have to face their worst fear, specific to each camper. Yuuma gets voted off. Koto’s worst fear is the perfume department from Spongebob, because that scene scarred her as a little kid. So the host of the game show, Kiyoteru, magically opens a door to the perfume department at a real department store and Koto has to walk through it. Koto only makes it 5 steps in before she runs out, screaming. She does not pass her fear test! Yuuma is scared of the Crab Rave because there are too many crabs. So he is taken to a part of the island overrun by crabs, and Kiyoteru turns on the Crab Rave song and they all start dancing. Yuuma dives into the water screaming. But the crabs chase him. He doesn’t pass his fear test. Taya attempts to outwit Kiyoteru and pretends he is afraid of strawberry shortcake, which is actually his favorite food. But everyone remembers how scared he was in the first challenge at the cliff. So Taya’s specific challenge is to jump off the cliff this time… Episode 8- Row a canoe to Boney Island, portage across the island, start a bonfire, and canoe back to camp. Wil gets voted off. Episode 9- Hunt the other team dressed as deers with paintball guns, or if one is a deer, avoid being hit by them. Piko gets voted off. Episode 10- Create a three-course meal for Kiyoteru to judge. Three chefs are chosen from each team. Miku gets voted off. Episode 11- Participate in a set of three-out-of-five trust exercises. Shian gets voted off. Episode 12- Make it through Big Al’s life-threatening and disgusting boot-camp challenges. IA gets voted off. Episode 13- Participate in three extreme sport challenges. The challenges are "sofa skydiving", riding a moose while avoiding being tossed off it, and water-skiing on mud. Lapis gets voted off. Episode 14- Eat a nine course meal of disgusting food made by Big Al. Drink shot glasses of blended cockroaches. Yuu gets voted off. Episode 15- Episode 16- Episode 17- Episode 18- Episode 19- Episode 20- Episode 21- Episode 22- Episode 23- Episode 24- Episode 25- Episode 26- Episode 27- Episode 28- Episode 29- Episode 30- Episode 31 Episode 32- Episode 33- Episode 34- Episode 35- Episode 36- Episode 37- Episode 38- Episode 39- Episode 40- Episode 41- Episode 42- Episode 43- After this challenge, the teams are disbanded. It’s now every camper for themself. Episode 44- Get through several rounds of torture, lasting at least ten seconds in each one. Eleanor gets voted off because she can’t take torture. Episode 45- Receive a clue to find a key hidden somewhere in the island to open a treasure chest containing a prize. Ritsu found a dud chest and his prize was… getting voted off. Episode 46- Avoid getting sprayed by Big Al’s water gun in a game of hide and seek. Parsec gets voted off. Good riddance! Episode 47- Build a bike from scratch, and then race it. Who rides who’s bike? Anyway, Dandy gets voted off. Probably because he’s 7 foot 4 and huge. He probably broke all the bikes. Episode 48- Watch a horror movie and then avoid being captured by a "deranged killer". Gumi gets voted off because she was scared. Episode 49- Catch the specific animal assigned by Kiyoteru and bring it back to the campground unharmed. Taya had to bring back a raccoon. He came back first. Koto had to bring back a bear. She came back second. What a total beast! And I’m talking about KOTO! Genbu had to bring back an eagle. He came back third. Leeds had to bring back a frog. She came back fourth. Kaito had to being back a squirrel. He came back fifth. Haku had to bring back a moose. She came back sixth. Tei gets sent off because she couldn’t bring back a mere chipmunk. The little chipmunk was trained in king-fu and ended up beating her up! Hooray! Episode 50- Compete in the following while handcuffed to one of the other campers: eat disgusting food with your hands behind your back while the person handcuffed to you feeds you, return a fragment of Haku’s cursed tiki idol to Boney Island, and assemble a totem pole with the wooden heads of the voted out campers in the order that they are eliminated. Taya gets voted off. Episode 51- Campers have to find Kiyoteru and Big Al after being washed away by a storm. Leeds gets voted off because her condition came to its worse. Her weak heart had finally failed on her and she suffered a heart attack. She was doing so good in the game despite her shortcomings, and will serve as an inspiration for many. Leeds will not die. She is in good hands. She will get top medical care. Now, a twist is revealed to the audience. Everyone who was voted off actually went to go to a beautiful island resort. The remaining campers still don’t know about this. When Leeds finally gets consciousness back, she finds she is in paradise. At first, she thinks she is dead. The room then fills up with everyone else voted off, and she begins crying. “They really killed you?” She cries. “No, Leeds!” Yukari says. “You’re alive! You made it… to Paradise Island!” Episode 52- An episode dedicated to the Island of Losers, which is actually a five-star island resort paradise. Yukari has fully recovered from her injuries. Gakupo and all the others who were eliminated early finally get their time to shine! The losers will also be involved in the episodes to come, as they will be the audience. Episode 53- The campers have to find their way back to camp after being left in the wild with limited supplies. Unexpectedly, our total beast, Koto Fuuga, comes back last. Rumors have it, this is because she found a bird sanctuary and got distracted. Episode 54- Survive a series of dares, given by the eliminated campers until someone drops out. Haku is forced to do something horrible by Tei. Tei dares Haku to joke around and portray offensive stereotypes. On national TV. She just can’t do it… She drops out, but not before insulting Tei to her face. But Kaito says Haku made the right choice. She sacrificed her chance to win a million dollars so that Tei didn’t have to force her to make a choice that could hurt people when they see it on TV. Kaito thinks Haku deserves an amazing consolation prize. Genbu respects Haku for this as well. Episode 55- The two remaining campers have to climb a pole and retrieve a flag, walk across a board on top of shark-infested waters while carrying an eagle's egg, and run a race to cross the finish line. Kaito is about to give up… but… There is ice cream at the finish line! Kaito makes a mad dash to the finish line and wins Total Drama Island!! Episode 56- Kaito won! But there is a twist. In order to actually win the million dollars, he has to find the a case containing the $1,000,000 and bring it to the Dock of Shame before anyone else does! This is a race between him and all the other campers! If any of the other campers being it to the Dock of Shame before Kaito, there will be a whole second season of Total Drama Island, and Kaito will have to win all over again before he gets his million dollars… ———Teams——— ———The Dangerous Dolphins——— Taya Chiyu Meiko Kyo Koto Tei Momo Neru Akaito Clara Gakupo Gumi Shian Dandy Luka Merli Daina Haiyi Lily Len Amy Ken SeeU Cider Teto Haku Uta ———The Killer Porpoises——— Yuuma Zatsune Mew Eleanor Ruby Dell Kaito Ruko Ritsu Wil Leeds Genbu Dex Bruno Iroha Miku Piko IA Chris Kaori Yuu Parsec Rin Lapis Yukari Aku Muxin ———Notable relationships——— Familial- Akaito and Kaito are brothers. Lapis and Merli are adoptive sisters. Haku and Dell are half-siblings who don’t live together, and haven’t seen each other in years before Total Drama Island. Rin and Len are twin siblings. Haku and Miku are cousins. Amy and Chris are cousins. Kaori and Ken are twin siblings, yet distant. They didn’t grow up in the same household. Ruko has a close cousin named Rook, who isn’t on TDI. Momo has an older brother, Momotaro, who isn’t on TDI. Uta has a younger sister, Koe, and two older brothers, Hibiki and Kanade, who aren’t on TDI. Teto has an older brother, Ted, who isn’t on TDI. Leeds has an older brother, Loop, who isn’t on TDI. Yukari has a little sister named Akari who isn’t on TDI. IA has a little sister named One who isn’t on TDI. Friendship- Miku, Rin, Len, and Luka have been a group of friends before TDI Haku and Neru were best friends before TDI Dex and Daina were best friends before TDI Momo, Teto, and Uta were best friends before TDI Ruko meets Ritsu and they become best friends Taya and Muxin become unlikely friends, despite being on different teams Romance- Bruno and Clara were dating before TDI Teto and Momo’s friendship eventually becomes romance. Haku meets Luka and they form a budding romance Amy meets Kaori and they form a budding romance Taya meets Uta and they form a budding romance Muxin meets Piko and they form a budding romance Lily meets Gumi and they form a budding romance Crushes- Len has always a crush on Miku. Tei has an obsessive crush on Kaito. Yukari has a crush on Ruby. Leeds has an embarrassing crush on Genbu. Eleanor has a crush on Yuuma. Ken has a crush on Chris. Dandy has a crush on Parsec. Akaito has a crush on Haku. Zatsune has a crush on Mew. She denies it. Gumi has a crush on IA. Dislike- Dandy and Cider always fight… with a weird sort of tension. Akaito and Uta don’t get along Miku Zatsune and Miku Hatsune don’t get along Lily and Merli don’t get along (MORE COMING SOON)

[yeet-me-dad-dy]

Bloody Mary

Warnings: Blood

Summary: You find yourself on Hannibal’s menu. Unfortunate for him that you’re not easy prey.

Characters: Hannibal + Vampire Reader (Gender Neutral)

Words: 3,537

Hannibal rested back against his kitchen counter, humming a quiet tune as he flicked through his recipe box. Whatever recipes he ultimately settled on making you into needed to be perfect. You deserve only the best recipes, and the recipes must deserve you, too. 

You and Hannibal met two weeks ago, when he accompanied Jack Crawford to your little classroom in the local college to ask about some strange symbols that were found at a recent crime scene. He was there to create an on-the-go profile of you for Jack, something that the FBI agent had started doing when some little bird whispered worrying things into his ears at night and made him paranoid that no one could be trusted.

Despite being experienced at profiling, Hannibal had great difficulty reading you. In fact, he wasn’t able to read you at all. He was too distracted by… well, you. He didn’t know if you had the same effect on Jack, but your very presence caused Hannibal’s head to spin. There was something about the way you moved, the way you talked, your scent, your smile… your eyes, god, your eyes. When you shook Hannibal’s hand, you looked straight through him. You looked into him, peeled back the curtains and gazed at his very soul as if it was as easy for you as making a cup of coffee. His heart had caught in his chest, and there was, momentarily, a very real fear that you knew exactly who and what he was.

Was this why he decided then and there that he was going to kill you and eat you? It may have contributed to the decision, as well as the certain level of arrogance that you carried, safely tucked under your jacket. As he thought about it more and more afterward, though, he came to the realization that it wasn’t fear that drove this decision, nor was it a dislike, or the belief that you were rude. You weren’t. Arrogant, yes, but not rude. You were perfectly pleasant. In the end, he concluded that it was desire that made the gears in his head turn toward your demise. You smelled divine, you had soft skin, a strong body. You were intoxicating- perfect - and he wanted to devour you in the most literal sense of the word.

With a pleased sigh, he closed his recipe box and returned it to its rightful place on the counter, then checked the time. It was nearly 11pm. He should go to bed, he knew, but his mind was racing with thoughts and plans. It was far too busy up in his head for him to be able to sleep. Instead, he stretched, poured himself a glass of red wine, and headed for his study, where he sat at his desk, retrieved a pen and paper, and began to write.

“Agent Crawford, Dr Lecter. Good to see you’re both well.”

You greeted Jack and Hannibal with a dazzling smile and a handshake, then motioned to the twin chairs in front of your desk.

“Make yourselves comfortable, please.”

Jack obeyed, but Hannibal couldn’t. He couldn’t look at you without thinking of your flesh in his mouth, so he wandered over to a nearby bookshelf and absentmindedly browsed the array of titles, his focus on the conversation behind him.

“What do you have for us, Professor?” Jack asked pleasantly, and Hannibal glanced behind him only long enough to see you take a seat in your expensive desk chair and open an old tome to a marked page, which you then spun around to show Jack.

He kept one ear on the conversation, but didn’t hear much. His head was swimming again, confirming that your presence was the source of the problem and not the vanilla body spray you had been wearing the day he met you, but were not wearing today. Before he knew it, Jack was clapping him on the shoulder to get his attention and thanking you for your help. 

“It’s my pleasure, Agent Crawford.” You had come around to stand on their side of the desk, hands tucked into your pockets. “I’ll help in any way I can. I want to see whoever is doing this caught and cuffed. Not only are they killing innocent people, but they’re playing with things they shouldn’t be. They’re a danger to everyone. You have my number, so please don’t hesitate to call if you need me. I’m available any time of the day or night.”

“I appreciate that, Professor. Truly. It seems like it’s getting harder and harder to come across good people nowadays.”

You nodded solemnly. “You two be well. And stay warm out there; the forecast calls for snow this weekend.”

Jack chuckled. “You too.”

He strode from the room without looking back, sure that Hannibal would follow. He would, in a moment, but he needed to talk to you first. He took in a deep breath to try and clear his head and stopped before you with a gentle smile.

“Did you get my invitation?” he asked.

You nodded and offered him a smile to match his own. “I did, and as honored as I would be to join you for dinner, I’m afraid I can’t. I have a very strict diet, one that I know that you won’t be able to provide for. I am truly sorry.”

Hannibal tilted his head to the side, only the barest gesture to indicate that he wasn’t sure he believed what you were telling him. 

“Whatever your special diet is, I am sure that I would be able to accommodate. I am quite the skilled chef. I can make anything you should request of me.”

You tilted your head as well, a perfect mirror to Hannibal. “I’m sorry,” is all you said, and the last you would say on that matter. He returned home that night, disgruntled and inconvenienced, but not put off in the slightest. There was always the chance that you would decline his invitation, and so he would have to find another way to get you to his house. If you wouldn’t join him as a guest, kidnapping was always an option.

It wasn’t difficult for Hannibal to discover that you stay on campus late into the night, and sometimes all night. Jack had been very useful in uncovering information about you, even if he was ignorant of the fact that it would be used against you. You have many admirers at the college, both students and colleagues, you work hard, you rarely sleep, you arrive early and stay late, or you don’t arrive at all. The days when you don’t arrive, it’s as if you’ve fallen off the face of the Earth. No one knows when you’re about to take one of your impromptu vacations, or where you go when you do, and quite frankly, everyone is too afraid to ask, though they wouldn’t tell Jack why.

He decided, after a few days of contemplation and careful planning, that taking you late one night would be the best decision. There would be no one else on the campus, at least not anywhere near your office, and no one would question your sudden disappearance if that was something you did frequently anyway. He scouted the parking lots before hand, thought through all of his tools to decide what would be best for knocking you out, made sure his car’s back seat would fit you comfortably, and prepared you a place in his house, where you would stay, alive and healthy, as he slowly cut you apart, piece by piece, meal by meal, to devour you.

When the night finally came to pay you a visit, large snowflakes fell gracefully from a black, moonless sky, the stars beyond obscured by thick clouds. The parking lot was sparsely lit by dim street lights placed few and far between, and they illuminated the snow that had begun to stick to the ground. Hannibal would have to hurry. He didn’t want his footprints giving him away. 

He strode purposefully across the blacktop, using his phone to light the way, until he came to one of the college’s ornate side doors and the steps leading up to it. He tucked his phone into his pocket, pulled on his black gloves, and tried the door. Locked. He expected this, which is why he had stolen your key earlier in the week. He retrieved the key from the inside pocket of his coat and unlocked the door with a soft click. He opened it and stepped inside, then closed it quietly against the cold outside.

It was much warmer in here, comfortable, and the hall was dimly lit with the emergency lights that the school keeps on during the off-hours to deter intruders. He had stared at the college’s blueprints so often and for so long since deciding he would have you, that he knew the way to your office like the back of his hand, despite never reaching it from this entrance before. Down the hall, take a right, go up the stairs, another right, two lefts, and yours was the office tucked at the end of the corridor.

There were no windows in this hallway, and thus no emergency lights. The walk to the thick walnut door that closed off your little sanctuary from the rest of the campus was done in darkness, and Hannibal’s shoes made no sound on the tile floor as he approached. He never gets nervous before a kill, but tonight, he had to pause and steady himself before he finally raised his knuckles to the wood and rapped three times.

“Come in,” your voice answered from inside.

He turned the knob and pushed the door open. The large room was dark. The only light came from the lamp sitting on your desk that illuminated a large, ancient-looking tome open on the surface, and you sitting behind it with your hand on the page.

He stepped inside and offered a polite smile. 

“Hello. You didn’t hesitate when you heard the knock. Are you expecting someone?”

You chuckled and leaned back in your chair to stretch.

“No, but this isn’t the first time I’ve had a visitor at one in the morning. Although uncommon, it does happen. Usually it’s one of my students, though. Please, come in. And feel free to turn on the light.”

Hannibal flicked the lightswitch and closed the door behind him, then strode forward, taking a moment to study his surroundings. A bust of an unknown figure by the window, thick curtains, fireplace tools… all things you could use against him should this go poorly.

“Are you fond of the dark, Professor?” he asked as he took a seat in one of the chairs across from you.

“Yes, I am. The lights give me a headache,” you smile.

“Well, I won’t be here for long, and I’ll be sure to turn them off when I leave.” He returns the smile.

“What can I help you with, Doctor?” you ask as you mark the page you were studying in the book, close it, and scoot it aside.

“I was on my way home and thought I’d stop by. There are some things about these murders that have struck my curiosity.”

He meant the recent string of homicides that you were consulting with the FBI on, of course. 

“The kind of curiosity that I can help with?” you asked with a raised brow.

“Yes, perhaps. Agent Crawford came to you because you teach a course on occult studies. You know the symbols that were carved into the victims, drawn on the walls in blood, scribbled on the floors…”

“And is it those symbols that you’re curious about?”

“I’m curious about all of it, Professor.”

You and he talked for quite some time, far longer than he expected to. He supposed that kidnapping you would take him all of fifteen minutes if all went well, but when he looked at the clock on the wall behind you, it had been over an hour and he hadn’t even considered what he had gone there to do yet. He had to admit to himself later that he enjoyed your company and the conversation; not only the topic, but how passionate and insightful you were about your work, and how excited you seemed to be to teach someone something new. He supposed he knew why you became a teacher, then. Eventually, an opportunity arose, and he knew he had to cut the conversation short and take it, or he would leave there without his prize.

He asked you the specifics of the origin of the ritual that the murderer had seemingly been trying to perform, and you rose from your chair with a grin.

“I have a book here that explains it in great detail that I would be willing to let you borrow. Let me just find it.”

You strode around your desk and made your way behind Hannibal to the massive bookshelf on the far left wall. It was as you searched the titles for the one you needed that he pushed himself to his feet and strode quickly toward you. He wanted to strangle you, not enough to kill you, of course, just enough to knock you out. He wanted to feel you in his arms, squirming, writhing, choking, struggling to breathe, fighting to free yourself. He wanted to feel your heart pounding in your chest as fear flooded your senses. He wanted to smell your delicious aroma as your body went limp in his arms. He wanted to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck as you finally fell unconscious.

He darted forward, like a viper striking its prey, but instead of wrapping his arm around your neck, he felt a shove between his shoulder blades and then the sting of a nearly broken nose as the bookshelf came forward to meet him. He managed to maintain his footing, and spun around with his hand covering his nose, eyes watering from the pain, to press his back against the books and steady himself. You stood before him, and he watched as your soft, friendly smile twisted into a wicked grin, and those gentle eyes that seemed to see all went dark, your gaze morphing into something predatory. 

It took him longer than he liked to admit to realize what had just happened. The speed with which you stepped out of the way and spun around to shove him into the bookcase was nearly inhuman. 

“To be entirely honest, Dr Lecter… I expected more. I expected a challenge.”

Hannibal only blinked in response, confused and unsure how to proceed. He hadn’t accounted for this.

“Nothing to say for yourself?” You took a step forward. “I know you came here to kill me, Doctor, but you’re going to have to try a bit harder than that.”

“I didn’t come here to kill you,” he mumbled through his hand as blood from his nose began to seep between his fingers and drip onto your carpet.

You clicked your tongue as you watched the crimson droplets fall. “That’s gonna stain,” you growled.

That’s when Hannibal’s survival instincts kicked in. He retrieved his knife from his pants pocket and flicked it open. A crude weapon, yes, but effective. He managed to clear the tears from his eyes and accept the pain in his nose well enough to remove his hand. And then he struck. Or, he tried. You dodged effortlessly out of the way, not only of his first attack, but of his second as well, and then his third, his fourth, fifth, sixth. It was as if you knew every move he was going to make before he did.

“Come on, Doctor Lecter. You’re a killer. Kill me.”

Mocking… you were mocking him. He sneered and adjusted his grip on the knife’s hilt.

“You know, Professor… mocking is rude.”

He lunged again, missing your cheek by a fraction of a centimeter, and then your neck by just an inch on the backstroke. Strike after strike was either dodged or blocked, and then suddenly, you were on the offensive. 

You landed a jab to his ribs, and then another to the other side. You shoved your foot behind his heel as he stumbled back, and he fell back against the window. The cold of the glass sent a shiver down his spine despite his wool coat… or maybe it was the sudden realization of the situation he’d found himself in. You held him against the window with an arm across his chest while the other curled around the fist that held the knife and pinned it flat, immobilizing the only method of attack he had. The thick curtains and the bust were too far for him to reach, and your hips were against his, rendering his legs useless.

Hannibal panted hard, struggling to catch his breath after expending far too much energy trying to wound you. You, on the other hand, hadn’t even broken a sweat. Despite dodging every attack he had made, you weren’t breathing hard. He furrowed his brow. You weren’t… breathing. He couldn’t feel your breath on his face, your chest wasn’t rising and falling. He was imagining things, surely. You were just breathing lightly. That must be it.

“That was much better, Doctor Lecter, thank you for the exercise. I’ve been sitting in that chair for far too many days and nights. I’ve been needing a good fight to wake me up, and here you are providing one. Now tell me… if you weren’t here to kill me, then why creep up behind me?”

“You didn’t accept my invitation,” he panted.

You smirked. “So you were going to knock me over the head and drag me home, was that it?”

“Not knock you over the head. I was going to suffocate you.”

“I’m afraid that wouldn’t have done much, Doctor. But to be fair, neither would knocking me over the head, so I suppose you chose what you thought was the best option.”

His nose and ribs were throbbing, and all the late hours preparing for this night seemed to catch up to him all at once. He was exhausted. “What happens now?” he asked quietly, gazing into those cold, dark eyes of yours. “Will you kill me? Toss me from this window? Use my own knife to gut me?”

You chuckled and released him, but remained close. “Eventually, perhaps, but now. That would be too easy. Boring.”

“So you release me and revel in the terror I feel, looking over my shoulder every second of every day, waiting for the knife in the dark?”

“That’s a wonderful way to put it. Yes, I think I like that idea.”

He grins weakly, exhaustion evident on his bloody face. “And what makes you think you’ll be able to get to me? What would you do, I wonder, If I told Agent Crawford that you are the one doing all of these ritual murders?”

“He would believe you, I’m sure, but it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had to slaughter an angry mob that came banging on my door.”

Hannibal scoffs. “You think you can stand against an army of armed and armored law enforcement?”

You only smiled, not the wicked grin, nor the soft smile from earlier, but something altogether different. Something… bone-chilling.

“I want to show you something, Dr Lecter.”

Gently, you reached out and took hold of his wrist, his arm and his knife long since fallen to hang loosely at his side. Your black gaze bored into him as you raised his hand and pressed the edge of the blade to your throat. 

“Cut,” you ordered.

“You want me to kill you?”

“You won’t kill me. Now cut.”

Something happened in his head when you gave the command the second time, as if you had taken hold of his strings to puppet him. He didn’t want to, truly, and he didn’t understand why you were ordering him to, but he couldn’t stop himself. He drew the blade across your neck, cutting deep.

There was no gush of blood, no choking, no stumbling back, no terror in your eyes. You stood there, calm and collected, with that not-quite-right smile as blood slowly oozed out of the wound and ran down your neck. And then, the unexplainable happened. Your wound began to heal. Hannibal watched, eyes wide, as the gash slowly knit itself back together, until it was as if he had never cut you in the first place. Not even a scar remained as evidence of the deed.

He understood all too well in this moment that what he had gotten himself into this time was far too deep to ever get out of. His heart beat frantically in his chest, his breathing was heavy and ragged, adrenaline flooded his veins. He swallowed hard.

“What are you?” he tried to ask calmly, but his words came out as barely a whisper. 

Your lips twisted into a deadly grin and you leaned forward. You took in a deep breath, breathing in his scent. Then, you whispered into his ear.

“My dear Doctor… I’m your worst nightmare.”

[cherripeach]

Chapter 1

Little Match Maker

Summary: Your life motto is "I have the power of god and anime on my side, don't mess with me," and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it.  

However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it.Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.

Prologue 1-2: Is this a kidnapping?

Chapter Summary: Waking up in a coffin is a great way to spend your day! Don't even ask about the sus masked man and creepy cat.

Words: 3.5k

Relationships: Developing as of now, but future twisted character/reader

Warning: Curse words, jokes about death because lack of fear of danger, joke about Crowley being mentally insane, low-key sex jokes, self deprecating humor, (If I missed anything, please tell me)

Covered in darkness, you were stuck in a small, somewhat squared space. It seemed like today was not your day, but you did get a lot of sleep, you assume. You reached out to every side to make sure that there was no opening or latch that you just could not see. While you were reaching around for something, all the sudden you heard an old creaky door open. Apparently, you were supposedly in a bigger room if this large box containing you could fit in it.

“Was I... kidnapped…?” You could have never guessed this would happen, and you always thought they would be too annoyed with you to actually keep you, “but I’m not a kid.”

It seemed that really nothing would ever go your way because immediately after you affirm your belief that you would not be someone good to kidnap a much greater voice entered the room, and so you stopped your mind to process the words being said, “...lid is too heavy.. Time for my secret move!”

Confusion seemed to radiate off of you at that line, at least, until there was a sharp thud to whatever you were in. But after the thud was a second of calm; nothing happened, no footsteps were heard, and no one spoke. Yet suddenly instead of a loud thud there was slowly heat entering the area you were in. The heat began to engulf the box around you, and soon you could see the bright blue flames eating everything up. In your desperation and in your brain’s rush of survival skills, your mind freaked and decided to take control of your body to both scream and kick the front of this box. The door or whatever of the box spasmed when your kick hit it and your body threw itself up from the heat located in the now black box that looked really much like a coffin. Your observations on where you were ended quickly when you saw a little being running to you. The creature looked like a weird cat mix between a fox or something, but the fact that it was running on its back legs really threw you off. The creature stared at you after you stopped your evaluation of this strange being, and he panicked much like your previous actions.

“wHY aRe yOu up?” the creature could never seem to stop mumbling to themself you learned, and you only heard his last phrase before you could process the rest.

“Wow, the CGI on you is amazing!” This place seemed to be like a living breathing set from your assumption because no kidnapping could ever be as odd and elegant as this place. You always assumed that whenever someone gets kidnapped they would wake up in an abandoned warehouse tied to a wooden chair and men with weapons would come in and interrogate the kid. Waking up in a coffin is not how a kidnapping should happen. Anyway, the cat just seemed as stunned as you and stopped his motions.

“CGAI?? What are you talking about? I am the Great Grim,” the cat bounced back awfully quick after your so-called rude statement to him, “Now give me your clothes, human! Otherwise,... I’ll roast ya.” This “Great Grim” seemed to have quite the ego to think that you would strip for him. He even puffed out his chest throughout his speech and put his paws on his hips.

“Ah ah, no way am I stripping without you giving me money.” You would not be stopped or told to do anything by a little creature that in your eyes could not hurt you.

However, the creature could not swallow your lack of obedience or the words that came out of your mouth, so he in all honesty started to attack you with this “CGI blue fire” again. He acted a lot more like an arrogant child than an arrogant child would act. He even screams something about him being “The Great Grim” again before he gets closer to you. Once he got close to your personal bubble, you decided to see if the fire really was the claimed hottest fire in the world because of its color. You reached out and basically grabbed the fire with an open hand and left it there letting your mind pend what was going on around you, and immediately your brain and its nerves picked up on the pain in your hand. Not believing your nerves, you kept your hand there for another second and pulled it away to look at it, only to notice that the skin on some of your hand was distinguishably different from the rest of your hand. Your mind paused, and you snorted at yourself while you observed your hand and slowly turned around and sprinted from the creature that was gaining on you while you stood there gazing at your hand.

This set or whatever had very real effects as seen by the cat that was continuing to chase you and scream for you to give him your uniform or something and by the bright blue flame. It didn’t just look cool but it also hurt and in your book that’s amazing! The world of CGI and effects really have changed, and wherever and whenever you are, they are way ahead of their time.

Your running from the cat never seemed to stop and you passed tons of weird areas. There was a little classroom, a weird well, and some odd architecture but overall this set was ‘set to perfection.’

You decided to go into the next room you saw to see if this set continued or had any more different scenes, and so you went into this library with tons of floating books. When entering, you noticed that the cat creature was still behind you, but you paid it no mind, not willing to listen to the being and continuing to explore this library.

“You really thought you could get away from my nose? Dumb human! Hand over your clothes if you don’t wanna-” The creature really seemed set on your clothing, but another great sound cut him off as he screamed a large “owww” and later only to respond to the previous sound with a “What’s this cord?”

You turned from the books you were observing and saw a tall man with a top hat and a bird mask like a masquerade party. His cloak and whole ensemble appeared to be out of a fairy tale; he looked like a misunderstood villain whose whole family and lover had died in the past and so he turned to evil in order to help himself deal with the pain. He did look somewhat like an asshole though. Not the point though, let’s get on task.

“This is no mere cord. It is a lash of love.” Briefly in your head you thought that this man deserved to be called clinically insane, but at this point that’s just being rude to those who are. The man after he caught the cat by wrapping the cord around the creature turned to you. “Found you at last. Are you one of the new students?”

And in your haze instead of being confused you nodded, so he continued his speech.

“You should not do things like that. Leaving the Gate on your own!” his manner of speaking was almost too flamboyant for you, but right now all you can do is stick with him and get out of this place, “Not only that, you have yet to tame your familiar which has broken a number of school rules.”

Just as confused as seeing the talking cat, you decided to nod your head and shepley mumble an apology so this man would get off your ass about the talking CGI cat and you apparently. And as quickly as you thought you figured out the situation and what he was trying to lecture you on, the man continued his speech after the cat screamed out that he “wasn’t your familiar!” or something and another.

“Sure, sure The rebellious ones always say things like that. Now quiet down for a moment.” You just watched on as the man slammed his hand over the cat’s mouth and continued on talking, “My goodness. It’s unprecedented for a new student to leave the Gate on their own...how impatient can you be?” His eyes locked on yours to make sure you were paying attention, so you just nodded your head again to show that you were listening when you weren’t.

His speech seemed to be going for a century so you got bored and noticed that after a while he closed his eyes and was not paying attention to you while still having animated hand movements. You, then, began to observe the shelves around you again to see if there was anything odd, and there was, many of the books seemed to be in this weird language that you have never seen. The language looked like something you would find in a horror movie where the people would be so curious to actually touch the book and not throw it away like they should have, so you decided that as much as this place was odd and mysterious you did not want to be that kind of idiot. However, in your inner dialogue of stupid characters in horror movies, the theatrical man turned around with his cap flying behind him and sauntered on out of the room. You realized he probably said something important, but the worst case scenario is he was the one that kidnapped you and would kill you later. No big deal. The main problem right now is that the man was walking too fast for your tastes and has already disappeared from your vision, so you ran to catch up with him.

Finally, you met his step in a hallway, and you decided to ask just what this all was. “Wait, wait, wait sir. First, what’s this Gate or whatever?” You did fake quotes around the word gate by putting up peace signs and bending your fingers, and then you looked at the man with your arms situated over your chest and puffed your chest out to show you meant to be answered when you resumed with “And who are you, man?”

The man, though, was not at all bothered at your vibe and started a new explanation, “It’s the room you woke up in with all the doors...” Then, he went on about this “academy” or something, and you were getting the vibe that this man and this set had to be some kind of prank, “Let’s get a move on!”

You really seemed to be missing the important parts of the conversation or lecture of whatever this so-called teacher is doing if this even is a school, but at this point and time you just want to go back to bed.

He began to stare at your dazed and puzzled form and said, “For I am gracious I will explain everything to you!” This man is like teachers in the fact that if you nod your head and look like you are paying attention, anything is possible. At the end of his speech, you caught the word “ceremony” before he sped off for you to only follow behind him. You went through several more hallways to get to where you think you woke up around. No one remembers what happened once they woke up; it is all just blurred reality.

The man in all of his glory decides that once you arrive at this large door to fling the door open and teacher-yell “Not at all!”

Out of the flurry of voices you were greeted by once the door was opened one person in the cloak just like you calmly states a little disappointedly “Ah, he’s here.”

You decided that with the added amount of people you should probably pay more attention so you can get home quicker and figure this prank out.

“I cannot believe you all…” You really are getting better at tuning the man out because after his short speech this time he turned to you as motioned for you to move in the direction of another object that would come out of a horror movie. You having no context for this mirror or what you were going to do started walking for the mirror while making out the mirror and area around it. Actually, there was a familiar face in the mirror, something you think you have seen from a Disney movie. It was the magic mirror mask (?) from the Snow White movie. It did look a little different with some mask markings by the face’s eyes and the mirror had some more intricate details, but other than that the mirrors looked almost identical.

After your moment of remembrance of the past, you stopped from your walk and put your hand on your chin and just paused to process it all, causing the entire room to stop from their constant talking that you didn’t notice and stare. In a brilliant moment of association, you turned around to the man and the cat that was still in his arms and tried to get out all of what your brain has concluded from the situation, “So like can we just stop this… like I know you were probably hired to prank me or something, but this situation is giving me hardcore cult vibes. Are you gonna like sacrifice me to Satan or something? Please do tell.” The time of the room stopped waiting for a single response to your question. Before there were murmurs here or there as the people were watching you, but now silence pierced the air.

You watched the man’s face after you said your opinion, and while it was covered by a mask, it was clearly obvious from his open mouth and sagged shoulders that he was shocked about the situation. After a moment, he adjusted his tie and dusted his shoulder off in an effort to steel himself, but you were having none of his b.s, and prattled on again.

“Like, I’ll tell you, you lecturing me about this school and that cat is not what I was planning to do today. I would like to get back to my bed and sleep.” You even told him the name of your town, but this just made him more lost than before.

He repeated your town and asked, “Are you even from Twisted Wonderland?”

“Twisted what,” now both of you were lost and gawking at each other.

“Were you not listening to me?”

“Honesty, I thought this was a prank from the second you walked in, and I still kinda do, so I blanked everything out.” You scratched your cheek and made sure you lost your previous eye contact with him. The lack of of chatter from the crowd made your interaction more awkward than even you could make one.

He placed his free hand on his forehead looking almost as disappointed as the first voice you heard besides him and looked down to the floor.

“Right now we are in Night Raven College in Twisted Wonderland where we are at the end of the entrance ceremony. You should be here to become a student at this school as a magician. However, even if you are not from here, the mirror did send for you, so please,” he paused and weakly threw his hand back in the direction of the mirror, “Step in front of the mirror.”

While you knew you could not trust the man, the only thing to do in this situation is turn and step in front of the familiar mirror. The mirror then grasped the attention of all those in the room as asked you to “State thy name,” and you told the mirror your name.

“The shape of thy soul is…” Consequently, the mirror began to join in the confusion of you and the man behind you, “I don’t know.”

You turned around and threw both your hands up in a “don’t look at me” sign only for the man to gaze right in the mirror past you. “Come again?”

The mirror still pulling a puzzled face when it was only a mask tried to state what it knew, “I sense not a spark of magic from this one… the color, the shape, all are nothing. Therefore, they are suited for no dormitory.”

While the people around you began their whispers, and the man behind you gasped in a weird over exaggerated way, you decided to state your mind. “So, like I knew that, but pissy. I’ve always wanted magic and stuff.”

The masked man did not comment on what you said; you think that he probably has had enough of everything. “An Ebony Carriage would absolutely never go to meet someone who can’t use magic. In a hundred years, there has not been one mistake in student selection. So why in the world…”

You cut in with “I’m a total mistake, sir, that’s why,” but the CGI ‘Great Grim’ jumped out of the man’s hold and further cut you off: “Then, I’ll take their place!” All of this is getting too weird too fast so you just casually walked out of the limelight next to someone who was in a group of five, you think, not counting the floating tablet (??). The cat appeared mad before but being in that man’s hold just made him worse.

“Stay right there! Raccoon!” The masked, clearly sus man bolted out after the cat and chased him around at least for a few feet.

“Unlike that dumb human, I can use magic! Let me in the school instead! If you need proof, I’ll show you right now!” The cat was running around the room trying to avoid as many things as possible. You thought that he looked like a crewmate in the waiting ship for Among Us.

The peace did not last longer before the same disappointed voice from when you walked in the room became cross while screaming “Everyone, get down!”

The cat, then, spit out fire in every direction. Neither you nor the person next to you ducked, but you noticed some fire make its way to you and tried to get them out of the way before anything happened. Just as you were about to reach them, they caught on fire. Oops.

“Waaaaah! Hot! My butt’s on fire!” the male, you assumed, yelled right in your ear vibrating your eardrum and causing you to take a step back before fixing the problem. You spotted the man from before screaming to the other people in the room, and then, pointing at the cat.

Two of the taller people next to you began a conversation which you tried to listen in on:

“Good at hunting?... nice, plump snack?” You don’t think you wanted to hear this conversation.

“...Do it yourself.”

You focused your mind back to the boy who was still screaming in your ear until more voices piped up in response to the man.

“Mr. Crowley, please leave it to me.” another boy in the group of five said with this really profound voice. You could just tell he was a bottom or something. You are also assuming that “Mr. Crowley” is the masked sus man.

“That’s Azul for you. Always trying to earn himself points.” Let’s just ignore the talking, floating tablet and everything that should be questioned and focus on the fact that the bottom’s name is Azul.

The boy next to you with his butt still on fire did not find this conversation as interesting as you which in retrospect is obvious because of the fire on his butt. “Um, hey, could someone put out the fire on my butt already?”

“O gosh, I’m so sorry. I got really distracted by everything,” You aimed all your concentration that you had at the boy. You slapped the area that was on fire several times to get the fire out, and after a few slaps, the fire slowly extinguished on the boy. The fire was not as bad as it looked.

The boy turned around to face you and beamed at you as you believe the personification of the Sun would look like. “Thank you!!” His bright red eyes gazed right through your soul through your eyes, sparkling every couple of seconds. You patted the golden retriever’s hood as he just continued to beam through you. He even grabbed your hands and shook them rapidly several times to show his thanks to you and squeezed them to finally drop his grip.

You ignored the conversation that was happening between several others of the group of five in favor of staring at the young sun. A couple seconds after two of the clocked people began to run after the cat. That was your clue to start to pay more attention to the situation at hand than the sun.

~~~

So this was supposed to be a lot sooner but then exams hit and that's always fun. This chapter just had to have my mind commenting on everything, so half of the chapter we don't even know what happens, but it's really only gonna be for this chapter. Thank you for reading this, and I apologize for any mistakes, but I hope you enjoy it! Have a great day or night!

[therealabbyham]

Racism in modern media.

A lot of controversy over the depiction of people of color (POC) in modern media has arisen. With both the Black Lives Matter and Stop Asian Hate movements that have happened in the last year, both new and old shows and movies have been brought forward as examples of what is not okay. Now, with some research, I'd like to go through these examples and go through what has made them controversial.

"Stock characters and slapstick tropes have always existed in theatre, from Shakespearean comedies to even something as seemingly benign as the Disney Channel show “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” (remember Esteban?). But ethnic stock characters have been tricky to write in an increasingly politically correct 21st century, despite their appearances in such Broadway classics as “West Side Story” and “The King and I." (The Muse at Dreyfoos)

”Song of the South (Disney film) - By far one of the most controversial and well-known instances of controversy. So much so that Disney never sold the movie on DVD and will not be putting it on Disney plus. Disney's most recent effort to erase the racism from their history (also see: the crows in Dumbo and the original draft of Fantasia), was to go farther in changing Splash Mountain. Originally they had gotten rid of the characters on the ride (who were all characters from the movie), now, however, they are changing the ride altogether, changing it into a Princess and the Frog-inspired ride. "Song of the South’s African American characters are treated warmly, particularly Uncle Remus, who is Johnny’s best friend and confidant, a charismatic storyteller, and, most importantly, the film’s conduit to the animated world of Br’er Rabbit... The problem isn’t necessarily what Song of the South depicts, but what it chooses not to depict. Although Harris’ Uncle Remus stories were set in Georgia after the Civil War, the film adaptation never makes it clear when the story is taking place... If you’re not a scholar or an Uncle Remus expert, it’s very easy to assume that the film is set before the Civil War, and that Remus and Aunt Tempy (Hattie McDaniel) are slaves — and that they are completely fine with that." (Quotes from Screencrush) "By stripping out any concrete details of time and place, Disney essentially turned the plantation system into a ludicrous utopia where blacks and whites live in harmony — a harmony where the only thing that’s clear is that the blacks are inferior and servile to the whites, but are content to work the fields anyway." "Several of Remus’ stories are about Br’er Rabbit wanting to run away from his problems; the moral, inevitably, is that you can’t avoid trouble and there’s no place like home. These lessons are particularly important to Johnny because he doesn’t like life on the plantation initially and wants to run away to live with his father in Atlanta. But when coupled with the African American characters’ oddly cheerful attitude about their social status, the movie seems to be arguing on behalf of complacency. Don’t leave the plantation, don’t try to better yourself. Just go with the flow."

Thoroughly Modern Millie (Broadway show) - The show is about a young girl named Millie who moved from a small town to NYC, and the show is known for having "the subplot and the peddling of outdated Chinese stereotypes". (A lot of this will be in quotes from the previous link). Although "the play is set in the 1920s... the script was written in 2000, based on source material from the 1967 film of the same name" On Playbill, another study is done, "As much as the 2002 Tony-winning Best Musical is a love story about making it in the big city, the show’s major subplot centers on “white slavery.”" An argument could be made that “To actually have real Chinese guys singing and speaking in their own language and meaning it, and to link their immigrant story to the same story as Millie ... and come to America because of the American Dream, all these people who come to New York to reinvent themselves and be modern—I think is exactly what the Chinese guys are all about." (This is irrelevant if the characters are not played by someone who's Chinese). With accurate casting then it might be "another opportunity to cast shade on racist attitudes and assumptions about us [the Chinese] and what we know and how smart we are and what we’re capable of..." However it still "can be racist if you do it racist. This show can be done racist but it doesn’t have to and actually, it can actually be anti-racist." Personally, I think if the line you walk is so fine and covered in eggshells, it may not be worth it (but of course, it's an opinion, even if it's widely accepted). Even Ashley Park, who wanted to be Millie, thought “It’s one of the characters that I’ve loved, always, but I always figured I’d never play it just because of the race stuff that’s in [the show].” because she's Korean-American.

Emily in Paris (Netflix show) - Speaking of Ashley Parks, let's talk about Emily in Paris, one of Netflix's most controversial and most hated shows. To put it simply, the show (which I have not seen) is about an American girl who moves to Paris. Yep. That simple. In a video by Friendly Space Ninja (who's French), he says "I've been insulted by this show, more than once... Emily in Paris has a huge racism problem... and it also comes up as arrogant." He goes on to say, "When people say Emily in Paris portrays French culture in a very insulting way, they're not exaggerating." "The French in this show think Americans are the greatest and they aspire to be more like them and as a French person myself... Yeah no that's not accurate." "During the entire show, Emily tries to teach the French that doing things the American way is the right way." (I highly recommend watching this video if you don't mind the swear words, it has good points, that's why I'm just using quotes). "Emily in Paris only has two characters of color... these two characters of color are made of degrading cliches..." "All of the racist things [Mindy, a POC character,] says were written by a white writer." "The other non-white character is this guy... He's one of Emily's co-workers and he's gay... and I had to read he was gay online... and his entire point of existence in this show is to be the most stereotypical gay man the writers could come up with... all he does is stand in the background and act sassy... The writers are so dismissive with him I'm pretty sure the only reason they made him black is so they could kill two birds with one stone." "Emily in Paris has two actors of color and both of them feel like an afterthought." My thoughts: Don't watch this show. It has a season two coming out, don't watch it, even if you want to see how bad it is. There will be someone online who will tell you why it's bad and you'll save time reading or watching their review instead of giving Netflix a reason for a season three.

Anyways, those are just a few (obvious) examples of how racism isn't okay, even if it isn't inherently meant to be racist. Song of the South was meant to be a heart-warming movie full of stories about morals, but it's been banned and basically erased from Disney history because it comes off as being pro-slave. Millie was meant to be a commentary on Asain stereotypes while lifting up Asain actors so they were given more opportunities, yet most schools have banned it. And Emily in Paris, despite its connections that got it nominated for awards, was such a dumpster fire, a good review is near impossible to find.

[toga-time]

Seiji Takami

Okay, so I had this oc / fanon version of the Takami thief in mind that I wanted to share with you, but the canon thief Takami (who is a real piece of shit) was revealed to us before I managed to finish the smaller details. (I’m a bit salty over not having been fast enough to post about him before the leaks / chapter came out, lol. Hawks’ dad is such a dick.)

Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve made a few quotes with Hawks and his dad in mind - however, part of me felt hesitant to post them now when the canon version was revealed. People usually let go of a lot of headcanons and fanon characterisations once the canon character is revealed.

But darnit, I had a lot of fun making these and I deserve to have fun creating things sometimes too! So I’ve decided to just go ahead and post about him anyway!

Introduction under the line!

________________________________________________________________

This is Seiji Takami:

Name: Seiji (Just and Lawful) - What an ironic name. Age: 43 - He had Keigo when he was 20. Gender: Male.

Appearance: (+ abilities)

*Seiji is tall and slim, but has more muscles than most would think hiding under his clothing.

*His eyes are intense and golden, with pupils like slits.

*His hair is even more messy than Hawks' is. It's a very dark brown color, looking like a dark crimson when the light hits it right.

*He doesn't have wings on his back, but he grows feathers on his arms which extends and grows long, covering the flesh, until he can use them to fly. - He can't control the feathers like Hawks, but he can sharpen them. - He can make the feathers fall off easily and have them regrow just as quickly. This makes it so that he has a rather big load of sharp weapons at hand.

*He also grows feathers on his legs, up to his waist and he's got small tail festhers as well.

*His fingers are hard and birdlike and he’s got feet that are formed more like a birds’. He's got strong talons on both his hands and feet. - He usually goes barefoot when out on a "job".

Personality: 

He is a little shit, not gonna lie, often being sarcastic and rather bold with his words. He loves to talk and can act rather flashy and arrogant at times, tending to antagonize those around him. He especially enjoys taunting his opponents whenever the oppurtunity appears.

While he can be ruthless, he is still caring toward the people closest to him. Even though he grew up focusing on putting himself first at all times, he’d still went out of his way to help the ones he called his friends. he is also very protective of those he truly loves.

Relationships & Story:

His relationship with Keigos’ mom is like that of friends(-ish) with benefits rather than two lovers, having gotten together more out of lust than love. They still got along and kept in touch even after the passion died out somewhat, hooking up from time to time. Then, surprise! Little Keigo was created! While Seiji wasn’t all that excited at first to becoming a parent, he still reached out to help with the pregnancy and to financially support them both. Once he actually got to meet little Keigo, he soon came to adore his little chick with all of his heart. 

( ”It had been the first visit since the baby was born and as soon as his eyes fell upon the tiny form in the crib he was speechless. The little creature was just so.. small. Seiji carefully lifted the baby up, feeling fearful of his hands for the first time in years. Once the baby was settled in, he started whining, being disturbed from his nap. And as soon as those eyes opened up to gaze at him, big and golden, Seiji knew he was done for. He started rocking the baby- His son, cooing and chirping softly to him. Delighted when he got few chirps back. He really was done for. Seiji was going to love this person for the rest of his life. He'lldo what it takes to protect him.” )

Seiji kept a distance between himself and his son though, unable to leave his criminal life behind while the mother wanted to try and take on the role of a more lawful citicen. He would send them money and sometimes drop by to bring Keigo a gift. However, the visits became far in between. Eventually, Seiji got captured during a robbery (”- by Endeavor no less. He knew Keigo liked that plushie of him. His son always carries it around and hugging it close when sleeping. Man.. why couldn't it be any other hero?”) and he was locked away for several years.

( - During this time, Keigos’ mom fell ill. Keigo would do his best to care for her, working around the house and offering to help his neighboors with chores in exchange for some money or a bit of food. While going to the store, the car accident happens that has Keigo use his feathers to save the people involved. Which leads to the HPSC seeking him out, offering to support Keigo and his mom, giving her the medical care she needs. That alone had Keigo agree imidately. His mom on the other hand was hesitant until the agents promised her that they would make sure Keigo was taken care of and would get a good education. She finally gave in. - )

When Seiji got out, he went to see his girlfriend and son, only to discover that they’ve moved away from their previous home. He was disappointed, but not necessarily surprised.

Considering what to do next, he wandered through the city, only to look up and see the gigantic image of an upcoming Hero: A young man with golden eyes and big, bright red wings on his back.

What the actual hell?

( It would not be easy for him to reunite with his son - mostly due to him not finding the right oppurtunity to make the move and approach him, but eventually, once Hawks joined hands with the League of Villains, Seiji saw his chance and swooped in to finally make the attempt to conect with him again. )

________________________________________________________________

And there you have it!

Now, Seiji is the version I’m mostly going to refer to whenever I make a post with incorrect Takami Family quotes.

I will do my best to make things clear in the post of course, but to make things easier, here’s how I’m going to tag things:

When I use Seiji I will tag the post with bnha oc, seiji takami. Maybe even fanon takami thief at times

When I use / refer to the canon version of Hawks’ dad, I will use bnha takami, takami thief, like most others do.

[shijiujun]

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH 浪漫输给你 - Lost Romance

Okay guys I honestly have not yet finished my book edits but I need a break from biblio and paragraphing so here’s a drama rec!! I don’t usually recommend like het dramas but I really love this one so far!!!

Plot: Zheng Xiao En is an editor working on some book plot - Chinese romance novels, which are usually centred on an arrogant, rich guy who’s also typically a rich CEO of a company. Anyway she finds herself transported into this very book and plot after fainting one day and she meets the guy of her dreams (in real life) in the novel, who’s also a successful, rich CEO in real life called He Tian XIng. 

In the book however, his name is Si Tu Ao Ran, and she thinks she’s playing the main female lead character but she was transported in as the evil side bitch who’s out to break up Ao Ran and the female lead, named Chu Chu. Cue some rom-com shenanigans, a whole lot of GOOD angst where Xiao En realizes halfway that no matter what she does, she can’t change her fate to become the main love interest for Ao Ran ;-; It’s hilarious AF because she’s watching a standard like Asian love drama where two men are trying to chase after the same female lead - all the terrible tropes man ALL OF EM - and she’s like damn it what the hell is this plot XD 

Side-plots: He Tian Xing, who’s the real-life version of Ao Ran, is also in a coma after his older half sister or something tried to wrestle control and power over the company (after their dad goes into a coma) - They haven’t actually gone in depth into this yet, except for showing how the sister is plotting and scheming and being evil. If Tian Xing was transported into the book for real, I don’t yet see like him being cognizant of it! 

Reasons why I love this: 

IT’S HILARIOUS. Like Xiao En judging every single time the female lead falls down and Ao Ran catches her in some gorgeous and beautiful scene, Ao Ran having some tragic backstory, the other guy who likes the female lead who’s Ao Ran’s secretary/best friend

OMG THE UNREQUITED BUT REQUITED LOVE TROPE IS DELICIOUS. DELICIOUS OKAY!!! 

She’s basically like the audience that’s jaded with dumbass weak-damsel-in-distress plots and she’s watching it unfold before her and going like wtf people actually write it like this (and as literally the EDITOR of this story she’s in, it’s even more hilarious)

MARCUS CHANG AS SI TU AO RAN/HE TIAN XING. Gosh he’s so damn handsome!!!

Have I already mentioned that I am a sucker for the unrequited but requited love thing?!!!

Assuming that Tian Xing remembers his love for Xiao En from in the novel later when he wakes up in the real world, I wonder how everything is going to pan out because he seems to have a mild love interest (a different girl) there as well.

Where to watch: Kissasian for now if you need subs! Not sure if Viki and the other places has it yet. Currently airing episode 8.

Characters!!!

Zheng Xiao En: She’s every one of us. We all want to be in that story where we get noticed by the rich other person and then have a series of coincidental but fated meetings with the person. Her celebrity crush is He Tian Xing, who’s this celebrity businessman (and then also all that inheritance problems I mentioned above with the older sister) because of what he says in interviews (you know that, when all seems hopeless, there is still a reason to keep going, that kinda shit) and because she was in a tough place, she was like YES MY IDOL YOU BROUGHT ME OUT OF A DARK PLACE. So when she gets dumped into her own novel, she feels a (misplaced?!!) affinity with Ao Ran who looks exactly like him (and was probably written in the image of him).

After lying her way into becoming Ao Ran’s housekeeper, spending time with him, arguing with him, trying to break up the romantic atmosphere between the two at the dinner table (below) etc. she realizes after that she can’t change the fact that she’s the side bitch in the novel and stops trying to break them up (not that she was trying very hard or you know being evil in the first place).

And she tries to make sure Chu Chu (who’s of course always bullied and isolated at the office) gets along better with everyone else, and being her friend. But Ao Ran is very sure that Xiao En is trying to harm Chu Chu, hence the angst and unrequited/requited thing going on. She & Chu Chu do get a kiss scene tho XD

I really like her character because she knows what’s going on and like I said  she’s cringing along with the rest of us as the audience at the ‘typical het romance plot devices’ present in most romance shows! She’s the epitome of “I tried” and “damn it who the fuck wrote this in” and I’m all here for it!!

He Tian Xing/Si Tu Ao Ran: As Tian Xing, he’s in a coma right now while his sister does dumb and evil shit outside. Within the novel, Ao Ran has a phobia of the dark because tragic story - he was locked up in the storage basement in the dark for as long as a day whenever he misbehaved by his father, and so he sleeps with all the lights on etc. 

He meets Chu Chu in the novel when she “TRIES TO CLIMB A TREE TO HELP A BIRD” and he catches her when she falls and says “YOU’RE SO KIND” and BOOM they fall in love like all male and female leads of shows/plots do while Xiao En (who was there because she wanted to BE THE FEMALE LEAD AND KNEW SHE NEEDED TO FALL FROM A TREE AT THIS PLACE) watched on and realized for the first time that FARK. SHE’S THAT CHARACTER. Anyway, as Ao Ran he obviously falls for Chu Chu, but he finds his mind all occupied by Xiao En because she literally keeps putting herself in front of him, but he thinks that she’s trying to harm Chu Chu all the time!!! 

It’s episode like 8 next airing tonight though and you can see how Ao Ran now realizes how much he thinks of Xiao En, just when she’s totally given up on him XD

Chu Chu: The typical cute, beautiful, small damsel in distress who comes from a poor family and had to work her way up but is also bullied by the people around her. She KEEPS FALLING. AO RAN KEEPS CATCHING HER. my god, it’s amazing. She’s not a terrible character (cuz we know as the audience that she was written like this as a caricature in a sense, as a character from this novel) and she really is the White Lotus flower type

She keeps dropping stuff too where Ao Ran can see them and that’s how their relationship is supposed to progress XD

Of course, he’s supposed to end up with Xiao En IN and OUT of the novel, I presume, but there aren’t much hints that I’ve seen so far on how they’re gonna explain the novel world + real world between them both!!! Either way I’m loving the angst right now.

Qing Feng:  AHAH! The fated non-requited love male character, who initially likes Chu Chu as well and teams up with Xiao En to try to break Ao Ran and Chu Chu up, but (spoilers, he ends up still a non-requited second male lead because he falls for Xiao En later)!! And he ends up being real sweet and supportive for Xiao En gosh I CRY.

[thiscrazyfan]

Study Meeting

Pan closed the book, loudly. He smashed it against the table, to get his study partner attention. Once he felt her eyes on him he raise up the book and threw it on the floor. “This is stupid!”

Wendy remain untouched by his not so settled outburst. She gotten used to those kind of beaver from him by now. “Now, is this kind of behave will help you to get through our literature test?”

“I don’t care! This book is stupid.”

Wendy reminded herself not to tell him how childish he is. He had already heard this lecture for over a thousand times from her, and it had never helped. She allowed him to mumble to himself how much it’s stupid, and who needs books anyway, and how he had better things to do in life before she said, “So you want me to leave? If I’ll call my brother now I might-”

She knew that he wouldn’t want her to leave. She was, after all, his last hope to improve his grades. What she didn’t expectad was the fear that caught his face or the quickly he grabbed her hand. “No, stay!”

“Peter! You’re hurting me!”

He let go of her hand fast, his eyes scanned her to make sure she didn’t want to leave.

Wendy thought it was weird about him. Than again, Pan was always a weird dude. No one really seemed to know what was he thinking about. Well, except for Tink and Felix. “Honestly now, you want to study or not?”

That torment look in his eyes told her that he didn’t, but when she closed her book he called, “Ok, Ok! I’ll study!”

“I need a five-minute break Pan. And I think you need as well.”

She thought she heard him sigh in relief. No doubt, he needed this break. He watched as she started to scroll on he phone. Oh, this writer that she liked published a new story online. A smile came to her face as she opened it. Ha, it was a fanfic on the book she and Pan just studied!

She started to read the first two lines, and felt her cheeks turn red. Wow, that was... there was not that much romance the original story. Well, she was not about to complain it. She bitten her lower lip. She sure didn’t mind to study for the test with those scenes in her mind.

“Why are you so red?”

She ignored Pan. A new hero caught her attention for the moment. The five minutes she set for her break were just over when she finished the third paragraph. Before she could go back to the study mood a thin hand grubbed her phone from her grasp.

She gasped, shocked from Pan’s nerve. “Peter! You are just awful!”

“Is this a summary for the book? Hold on...” A wicked smile spread on his face. “Wendy, you naughty girl.”

Her face heated up from shame now. “Give it back.”

"But this summary is so much better than Mrs. Blanchard summary!”

“It’s not funny!”

He was still laughing. Though he gave her back her phone, there was this horrible sparkle in his eyes. Wendy looked away, shameful that this spark made her guts twist in ah, so delicious way. “You have a hidden side in you, Darling. I like it.”

The poor girl buried her head in the book. “Please don’t mention it.” 

She thought she heard Pan licking his lips. The image of a hungry wolf came to her head. “You know what I like most about this story? The hero is brave and young, just like me.”

“He is arrogant like you, that’s for sure.”

“And the female heroine is sweet and kind. Just like you.”

She blinked. Her ears ring so hard, that Wendy wasn’t so sure she heard him right. She turn her head slowly to him. Pan looked at her intensively, almost hopeful. 

 Ok, that was not expected. Pan was never a romantic person. When Fiona asked him out last year he mocked her in front of the entire school. Well, that bitch deserve it after mocking everyone else. And still.

Pan brushed a curl of her hair behind her ear. He whispered, “I don’t mind if you’ll imagine me as the hero, Wendy bird.”

She swallowed, and prayed that Pan didn’t heard her. “Can I?”

“I’ll encourage it even.”

She pulled away from him, not breaking eye contact. “It sure will make reading more pleasant.”

His eyes fell on her lips. Now she was sure she didn’t imagine it. “If it will, who am I to argue.”

“But you know? In the book they don’t end up together.”

Pan was so close to her now. She could smell him. He always had this smell of forest and teen spirit, and something else that could be described only as Peter Pan. “Who?”

“The charactes from the story.”

“Really? Such a shame.”

So close. If they’ll be quiet even a second more, he’ll hear the pounds of her heart. She thought she was about to explode. She cleared her throat. “Yes, she leaves him and give birth a girl.”

He put his hand on her shoulder. A welcoming hit fills her veins. He smiles to her, and against all odds when it came to him, she actually felt safe. 

Pan whisper, “Well, there is always the fanfics.”

And than they kissed.

[junejalow]

"I tried to warn you" R6 operators/oc

So a friend of mine from Discord, Cammie08 wanted a bar fight with Lion getting defensive over Rook that included my character Saulo "Chameleon" Benjamin with her police oc Venny Warwick who worked with Saulo's unit a few times. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading!

Idel chatter, music thumbing in the background, people dancing in the middle of the large bar room, the smell of alcohol and food lingering in the air around the bar. A good friday night for the Rainbow operators. Harry had given them two weeks off to do as they please, a small handful of them went home to spend the down time with family and friends. The other's had decided this bar was a good start to their relaxing two weeks. They had nearly taken up one corner of the place, moving tables and chairs together to fit their large group. Their own idle chatter, stories, card and drinking games, sharing food, bellowing laughter, singing. All of it was a major stress relief for them.

"Did I ever tell y'all how Saulo got that scar on his face?" Asked the man sitting beside the urban expert. Saulo had introduced him upon arrival as an old work buddy from his Delta Force days, Venny Warrick had near 30 years experience working in police joint units. The very reason they met in the first place and continued to work off and on before Chameleon's departure to Rainbow. The aforementioned man gave a sharp jab to his side.

"What? It was funny!"

"Like hell it was! Never liked birds after that."

"Must be quite the story then, I would love to hear it." Timur piped in across from them, nursing a beer bottle in his hands.

"No, no you don't." Saulo replied quickly before Venny could, earning a snicker from the police man. "I'ma tell you anyways, I take the beating later." His friend said, shifting away when the other tried to snag him only for Maxim to swing an arm around his boyfriend and pull him and his chair closer. Effectively keeping him from moving.

"Really Maxim?!"

"What? I want to hear it as well, I find anything about you amusing and interesting. You know that." Calmly replied the trapper.

"Right right, so we were held up in Norway around Oppdal. We had this hot lead on a arms dealer who was using the storms around the area to cover their tracks and we were sitting outside just eating and enjoying a good warm meal and this bird of some kind literality came out of no where and snatched food from Saulo, gashed his lip in the process. It took months before we let him live it down." Venny told them, eyes gleaming with the memory as the table erupted in laughter and chuckles at the story.

"You fucker, Y'all tormented me every single time I ate somethin'!"

"And you was funny as hell too!"

"So you ain't gon' tell them about the time you got tied ta a bed while drunk?"

"Whoa whoa, time out there mate. Was this all in good fun or was a girl involved?" James asked from a few seats down, one hand mindlessly twisting around in Mark's short curly hair as the younger operator was leaning against him. Everyone always though they were a cute couple.

"Well I guess that's fair right? One story for another." Venny replied, downing the rest of his beer.

"And to answer your question good sir, there was a girl involved. So long story short, someone in the joint unit decided some sketchy bar on the edge of town was a good place to just knock back a few drinks before we head home after a successful mission. I got drunk worse than a nine eyed dog ever dared to be an-" He was cut off by Shutrat snorting and nearly spitting out his vodka.

"A nine eyed dog? What the fuck is that?"

"I believe it's an American term for a very drunk person." Jager replied from across the Russian, swatting Bandit's hand away as the other German attempted to steal his french fries. He mumbled under his breath about Elias having some and shoved his hand away again.

"Pretty much so." Venny replied, "Just a southern term I learned from Saulo. He thought us a lot over the course of our missions together."

"Look y'all kept askin' what I called different things so I told y'all."

"That... is a very odd term." Fuze mumbled.

"And calling Aleksandr 'Sasha’ isn't strange?" Marias asked, grinning at his boyfriend. Shutrat shot him a glance across the table, cold stormy grey eyes piercing into warm honey brown eyes.

"You leave that nickname alone Mari." The engineer raised his hands in mock defeat, knowing better that to push the Russian on subjects.

"Back to the story!" Smoke protested, growing impatient to hear the end.

"He was basically lead ta a back room by one of the dancer's and thang's got complicated, she tied him up, stole his wallet and we already knew somethin' happened because no one gets laid that fast." Chameleon chuckled, earning a playful glare from his friend.

"No bloody way! Why do ya like that mate?"

"Unfortunately, but she didn't get away. Perks of working with half a police and military unit."

One story turned into another, many of the operator's recalling times of fun moment. Dominic's best pranks, Maxim's CQC record attempt that disarming 4 people in quick session, Tachanka and Finka's drinking contest on base that ended with Doc forcing both of them to puke their guts out to avoid alcohol poisoning, Kali and Glaz's sniping contest which both were disturbed on when they caught sight of Lion chasing down Smoke over a prank Bandit came up with. The talk soon turned to missing places from their home towns, what they wanted to go see again and where they would visit on the next down time.

"Right well, I'ma go get more drinks." Saulo said as he stood up with Rook who offered to help carry. They got everyone's orders and headed off to the bar, Saulo watched the bartender fill out the orders with trained actions retaining to muscle memory and years of work while he chatted with Julian about different things. "Was that story true? The one Venny said about your scar?" Rook asked with a genuine smile. "Sadly. I'm honestly terrified of birds now. Fucker's just unsettle me." Chameleon replied, shaking his head a bit with a chuckle. "So that's why Monty doesn't bring Doux around, he never told us. I personally think she's a beautiful parrot." "I kindly asked him not ta speak about it but I'll agree she's pretty. Just don't want her near me is all." "Seems fair mon ami (my friend)." He agreed, taking a few drinks to add them in with the growing collection. A sudden presence behind them had both operator's tensing, thankfully Rook was the first to speak to the large man behind them. He greeted him with a smile, "We'll be out of the way soon." "I didn't come for a drink, I came for you short stuff. Been watching you since you came in." Julien shifted a bit closer to Saulo, he disliked starting anything or being center of attention. "I'm here with my friends and my boyfriend sir, I would very much love to return too them."

"I don't thank you understood my clearly, you're going to come back with me to my table and enjoy some drinks with us." "Olivier really wouldn't like that...Please move so we can return to our table." "What? That blond you were sitting with? He looks soft." "Sir... please I won't ask again. And don't try to start anything with him, he's a lot stronger than he looks. It's a warning for your own safety." Lion flicked his gaze from the card game in front of over to the bar, he noticed the uneasy expression his boyfriend held and slowly put down his cards much to Gustave's and Emmanuel's confusion until they followed his gaze over to the source of his distraction. Gilles released a knowing sigh. To say Lion was simply protective over Julien was a serious understatement. He was fiercely possessive, protective and loyal to anyone close too him. Rook's brow furrowed as he frowned at something the man had said, before he or Saulo could say anything he heard a chair from the table squeak across the floor followed by a booming voice that belonged to Lion, the name keeping his namesake. "Hey asshole!" The large french man barked as he stormed over, piercing blue eyes glaring pure anger into the civilian. Lion held nearly 7 inches on the man and had a much larger build. "I tried to warn you." Rook mumbled under his breath. "Get lost and leave them alone." Olivier snarled at the man who give a defiant look. "What? Thank you're scary just because you got muscle? I've been boxing for over 10 years and won several belts, you look like someone who just works out for fun." The arrogant man chuckled which was quickly cut off by Lion surging forward, the man's face met the bar with a loud thud. Thankfully Saulo and Julien had ben quick in moving with the drinks, careful not to spill any as a few of their friends cheered from their table. Lion twisted one of the man's arms behind his back, holding it there in a iron drip. "I don't care how long you've been boxing, don't speak to my boyfriend again. Understood?" He said with a deathly calm tone, he wasn't playing and Rook knew it. His worry starting to pool in his stomach as the owner came out from the back, upon seeing the operator's he had come to know he sighed and motioned for the bartender to clear out. He knew better than to get involved with the soldiers when someone pissed them off. Soon enough the man against the bar had called for his friends to help out instead of sitting down which got rainbow's attention. Smoke standing from his spot beside Mute, Montagne joining him along side Kapkan, Doc and Tachanka. They quickly got involved in the fight after a punch was thrown, by who no one could see outside the mass. All that mattered was the fact that the fight was over in minutes, the offending group at the feet of the operators. People around them cheered as they returned to their table, Lion gently wrapping an arm around Rook to guide him back. They passed around the drinks that had been ordered and acted as if nothing happened. Gustave inspected everyone for a moment, stopping at Olivier's hand right hand for any damage but boxing with James had toughened his skin, it only had light marks that would most likely bruise later but lesson learned to the other people. It was soon made better Julien linking his left arm with Lion's right as they sat back down, his smaller hand gently rubbing across his knuckles to sooth the irritated skin.

The rest of the night went by smoothly, eventually the bar closed and they had to leave. Saulo gave Venny a hug and promised to meet up again. Thankfully the bar wasn't that far from the base and most of them walked back while other's went to their apartments two blocks away. Little pieces of heaven away from work on the rare times they got away from work. The base settled down after drunken laughter and helping each other to their dorms, thankfully Doc and Montagne had stayed sober enough to make sure of that. They were like the responsible parents of the operator's that always checked in on everyone and watched like hawks for any issues. Doc made his rounds before bed and helped Montagne go about setting out drinks and meds for hang over's in the morning. Once that was done and everyone were in there respective rooms, the two GIGN operator's went back to their dorm and went to bed together.

[cynthiaandsamus]

Custom Toonami Block Week 73 Rundown

Code Geass: Lelouch and co. are still stuck in China and Xingke’s flipping out because the Chinese assholes are gonna kill the Empress and go with someone less problematic for their political marriage to Britannia’s creepily overaged prince. However Lelouch pulls out a Knightmare that’s basically the Twink version of the Gawain and busts everyone up as well as pulling a Father Cornello on them and letting the people know they’re all elitst 1% assholes that don’t care about them, which I suspect all countries probably know about their leaders but it sucks to hear it in a recording so riots show up all over China and CC Geass Flashes Anya to take her out so Britannia has to back out because the Chinese Hierarchy are now the least popular people in the world. So Xingke gets to be with his Empress and joins the Black Knights but Dietard wants the Empress to marry someone on their side so they can basically do the asshole move Britannia just tried to do but for them. All the girls are like ‘hey no’ and Lelouch is like “Oh hey Tamaki buddy, let’s go talk and get me the fuck out of here” so before Lelouch actually has to give Tamaki more lines and elevate him beyond the Black Knight’s Yamacha Shirley calls and Lelouch just straight up asks Shirley about love in a weirdly forced series of circumstance. But Shirley’s like “Yeah don’t fuck with love, don’t you love anyone?” and Lelouch is like “Yeah I do, Nunally!” and I don’t think that’s at all what Shirley meant but it does mean Lelouch sees that fighting for something beyond politics is powerful and agrees to not marry off the twelve year old girl, so that’s good. Lelouch decides to return home while they hunt down the Geass cult which is in China for some reason despite that being one of the like two places on earth Britannia doesn’t control and the Geass Cult largely being a Britannian affair. Meanwhile Sayoko is basically a Lelouch Vtuber at this point with her insanely accurate Lupin III mask of Lelouch and kisses Shirley so Shirley’s a little bit more gay than she was before and is not sure how to feel about that. When she’s about to tell the real Lelouch he kisses like a girl, Anya and Gino show up because we’re retreading the whole ‘sleeping with the enemy at school’ thing from the first season except with way less interesting enemies. Also the preview for the next episode is Lelouch dramatically talking about enemies finding out he’s Zero overtop footage of Shirley and Milly absolutely naked in a batthouse scene so I think we know what kind of episode that’ll be.

Inuyasha: The Panther Demon filler concludes with everyone meeting at the site where the Panther Master is being revived behind a strong barrier, if only someone just got a barrier upgrade to their sword, oh wait. But yeah everyone manages to free the hostages so even though Kagome’s jewel shards revives the Panther Master he’s still a zombie without a sacrifice which is weird since Naraku managed to completely revive the Band of Seven with one jewel shard each from skeletons and the Panther Lord has three shards so idk the rules here but yeah he steals the souls of his own men to revive and is Wind Scar Proof because he just is. It’s pretty cool to see him shooting his claws and lightning and shit but he’s too big and slow for it to be much of an interesting fight. Sesshomaru’s about to go full demon which would be interesting since we haven’t seen his full demon form since he lost his arm but in a neat bit of character development, Tenseiga calms his rage and tells him to use it instead. You get the feeling Sesshomaru only goes full demon when he flies off the handle and forgets about speed and strategy so him opting to not repeat the mistake he made against Inuyasha is pretty cool. Anyway Tenseiga heals the souls of the Panther Demons and drains their energy from the lord so he’s back to Zombie Cat Man which Inuyasha can Wind Scar because that’s what happens to villains on this show, all Wind Scars all the time. The Panthers don’t wanna fight anymore since their boss just killed them and tell Inuyasha to tell Sesshomaru the feud is over and they’re going back to the West. Honestly this is basically the same backstory they gave Kirinmaru in Yashahime so it’s funny for them to say they’re going back to the same place Kirinmaru is from, wonder if it’ll ever come up in Yashahime since most filler seems canon there.

Yu Yu Hakusho: Yusuke and Kuwabara continue the assault on Tarukane’s compound and basically plow through the lower demons easy since they’ve been fighting minor deities up to this point. It’s always pretty cool in Shonen to just have a few rounds to show how much power creep the heroes have had where certain things just don’t bother them anymore. Toguro murders a Chimera which has an oddly similar backstory to Nina from FMA and he seems really bummed about it but he’s like “Hey we’re both monsters made by humans telling us to do shit, so sorry for killing you bro”. And Tarukane basically sees Toguro is the next boss and is like “Yup time to scam some people off of this” and he sets up a betting ring for how far Yusuke and Co will get into his compound. This is kinda neat because it puts Tarukane in the weird position of betting against his own guards and hoping Yusuke will make it all the way to Toguro and then lose after everyone else has seen how awesome Yusuke is and bets on him. And funnily enough Sakyo’s in on the betting and he’s watched anime before so he knows to bet on the plucky teenagers with weird powers. So yeah Yusuke and Kuwabara finish plowing through the demons while Hiei kinda stalks them and remembers getting his eye surgery and wanting to help his sister but it’s kind of against spirit world rules for demons to just go plow through humans even if they’re scumbag humans so now Yusuke and Kuwabara have to go fight the Triad of boss demons Toguro has under him before Hiei busts in and just murders everyone for kidnapping his bird-loving jewel-crying little flower of a sister.

Fate Zero: So Kiritsugu can break Kayneth’s Terminator 2 Gaara defenses with rib bullets that just say ‘no’ to using magic and fucks his arrogant ass up. Saber and Lancer do some combo shenanigans to stab Caster right in the book and disrupt all his hentai tentacle demons but the book heals so idk why he can’t just make more. Kirei fucks up Maiya and Iris but didn’t double tap Maiya and DID double tap iris but she’s got Saber’s bullshit healing scabbard on her which no one knows about so Saber’s like “uhhh why are you healing” and Iris can’t tell her so she’s basically “Uhh internet?” Lancer comes in to save Kayneth’s worthless ass and tells Kiritsugu to stop being a dick to Saber because she’s pretty dope. But as usual for an early Fate encounter, no one dies and nothing of terrible consequence happens despite it being teased a couple times. I’ve noticed a trend with Fate that it really doesn’t like killing characters early so you’re basically guaranteed to have the first 2-3 major battles have a zero net gain/loss. Rider in UBW was probably the subversion to that since it happened crazy fast and anticlimactic but even that wasn’t till like ten episodes in.

Konosuba: So we finally meet Wiz the big booby Lich and Kazuma learns a new skill, both fun things. Also the gang gets a house to stay in after escapades with an army of haunted dolls and the most “I need to pee” in a horror setting since Corpse Party. But yeah, good progress this time honestly, the living in a stable gag was getting kind of old so Kazuma’s a bit stronger now and they have a home base so that’s pretty cool. Also Wiz is a Demon General or some shit but no one cares cause there ain’t no money in murdering busty zombie waifus.

Sailor Moon Crystal: So turns out Minako is Princess Serenity, except everyone who knows anything about Sailor Moon or indeed plot structure knows Sailor Moon is Princess Serenity, that’s like the Luke I Am Your Father of this series. But still turns out Minako has been guiding everyone with the power of video games but also thinks the power of friendship sucks and she’s gotta go do everything alone. This makes things super awkward because Mamoru’s pretty sure he was in love with the Princess but likes Usagi, now instead of running with this interesting thread of a reincarnation falling in love with someone new we’re gonna do the reveal that Usagi’s the princess and the whole ‘till death do us part’ part of marriage was just a metaphor and you’re stuck with one person no matter how many times you reincarnate. But yeah, Minako fights the bad guy on top of the tower but he has Naraku’s Barrier now and Minako doesn’t have the Red Tessaiga upgrade yet so she needs the power of friendship but this barrier is friendship-proof and this fight is basically a bunch of kids on the playground making up increasingly stupid powers that negate the other powers the other guy just made up. Anyway Tuxedo Mask shows up and is like “Holy shit Sailor Moon I love when you kiss me and kick ass, go get em sweetie I’ll hold your flower” and they kiss and Usagi has learned that if she just pretends she got this the power of her confidence will beat the bad guy. Unfortunately she does not got this and Tuxedo Mask has to pull a Piccolo and throw himself in front of the blast.

Durarara!!:  So now that we’ve had our climax for the arc we have a six month timeskip and everyone’s just kinda living life, Mika and Seiji are being clinically insane together, there’s cops harassing Celty to the point of mental breakdown (normal cop stuff) Shinra’s dad’s in town, Namie’s become Izaya’s secretary for blackmail shit, you know, normal stuff. Also there’s a katana-wielding maniac going around slashing people and Anri’s being bullied and sexually harassed to the point of mental collapse, normal stuff.