#anyway who's 2 days late lol cant be me

[rensunggiemon]

.

[animestsstuff2]

•Sickly sweet•

Bakugou katsuki x vampire reader

Content warning: nothing lol! Not much going on

Part 2

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You gripped your bag strap tightly, peering up at the school before you, U.A. Where people become heros. You were a bit late but when you live with someone who practically sleeps at least 23hours out of the day its something to be expected.

You walked in, seeing what looked like seniors littered the hallways. You passed the entrance exam, not that you actually needed to but you did anyways, placing 3rd. You sighed. Aizawa told you that you were in his homeroom, class 1-A. You walked up some stairs, eventually finding the large door and pushed it open. There were lots of kids. They looked over curiously, probably wondering who was coming in so late and if it was their teacher. You looked over them all and your cheeks heated up as they stared before they went back to their chatter, some giving me warm smiles.

You looked around for a seat and spotted one in between a boy with cream blonde hair and a guy with red hair. You walked over to the seat inbetween them.

"I-Is this seat taken?" You asked quietly, he turned to me and your eyes widened as his crimson ones met your own and he grunted.

His eyes are like yours, exactly like yours.

He turned back and face forward and you stood there awkwardly until a ruff, almost scratchy voice came from behind you. You turned and looked at the red headed boy. His sharp teeth grinning at you.

"No its free! Sit down" he smiled and you thanked him before sitting down.

You took your bag off, placing it on the ground and facing forward, wondering where your teacher was. It was your dad after all. He’s notoriously late but he was also working late last night. You turned feeling a tap on your shoulder to see the red haired boy looking at you.

"Hey. Im Ejiro kirishima, whats your name?" He asked and you smiled. He was seemed nice.

"Yuri" you answered. He nodded, saying your name once over.

"So whats your quirk, where you in the entrance exam?. I dont think i seen you" he asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah i placed third. My quirk is pretty average” You mumbled, it wasnt really a hero quirk.

"Oh hey! It cant be as bad as mine. I mean i can only harden my body" he grinned and You watched as he hardened his arm, You watched amazed. He would make such a great hero.

"No way! Is it actually fully hardened?" You asked, completely amazed. You reached your hand out not asking Kirishima if you could touch him but he didn’t protest, though his cheeks did flush slightly as you repeatedly ran your hand up and down the now jagged surface of his arm. You both however failed to notice a small purple grape boy who stood beside yous, watching.

"Hey hottie, hows about you feel me up" the nasally voice piped up behind you and you pulled away from kirishima who finally let out a breath and turned to the small purple boy behind you.

"Excuse me?" You asked, taken aback by how forward he was.

"I said hows about you fee-" you cut him off.

"No no. I heard you but why would you say that. I dont want to feel you up. Thats such a random thing to say to someone, what a pervert" you grumbled, glaring at him. Your crimson eyes peering into his own as he became flustered and annoyed.

"I-I'm not a pervert! Youre the pervent feeling that guy up!" He yelled and some classmembers looked over at the commotion.

"I am not. Kirishima was showing me his quirky which is pretty cool by the way. Youre the pervert asking random girls to feel you up!" You snapped, glaring at him. His eyes widened, feeling intimidated by your blood ones.

"O-Okay im sorry" he shot out and you nodded, sticking your tongue out.

"Yeah you better be. I was just admiring Ejiros awesome quirk" you grumbled, turning back to Kirishima and rolling your eyes as you both chuckled at the interaction

"Did you mean that?" He asked softly and you tilted your head slightly, confused. "About my quirk. I mean"

You nodded immediately, smiling at him. He blushed again.

"Yeah of course! Your quirk is awesome, your gonna make a great hero one day" you grinned and he smiled back, his confidence growing at your statement.

"Really! Thanks!" He grinned and then paused "hey! You never told me what yours is"

"Oh, um. Its not good. Its like a villain quirk if im gonna be honest. I can manipulate my blood" you mumbled and Ejiro eyes widened slightly. “It sounds like such villain quirk”

"No! Its pretty cool. I guess if it was other peoples blood that you could only use would be bad haha, how does it work" he smiled, leaning forward wanting to learn more.

"I, um. I can control just my blood and turn it into things but thats it, if I loose focus it’ll just turn back into liquid” you explained, fiddling with my fingers. You never really got good responses from others. They were always afraid id take their blood..

"Can you show me?" He asked, not one bit weirded out. You made him feel good about his, it is a manly thing to do to make someone feel better

You looked at him, slightly surprised. All the kids you went to school with thought you were a freak. Albeit you are not natural in the slightest. You brought your index finger to one if your fangs, biting down and pricking it. You watched as blood dripped out and stared at it. You watched as it moved upwards, before contorting it into a small circle.

"Woah! Thats so cool! You can practically make anything" he looked at the little ball blade. "Does it harden or stay liquid?"

"It hardens, look" you pushed the ball around in your palm, it left no trail but soon it disappeared.

"Hey, what happened?" He asked and you looked up at him.

"It does that, the small ones i make dont stay for very long" he nodded in acknowledgement and a peaceful silence took over but it really didnt last long until a slightly tired and almost bored voice spoke.

“Welcome to U.A hero course. I suggest you shut up. If you are only here to make friends I suggest you leave now” the class fell silent and everyone turned to stare at the black haired man who was taking a yellow sleeping bag off at the front of the room. You couldn’t help the small smile edge onto your face at your fathers antics

“My name is Shota Aizawa. Your teacher” he continued.

“Now everyone put these on and follow me outside”

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You were now outside in your gym uniform. You all stood as Aizawa explained that he wanted to gauge you strengths and whoever gets the lowest is being expelled. The sun was pretty bright today.

"Bakugou, you scored highest in the entrance exam, why dont you go first" Aizawa stated and bakugou stepped up, taking the ball and stepping into the circle.

"DIE!" He yelled as he threw the ball using his quirk. The ball flew out of sight and aizawa recorded the score.

He got 705.2 metres.

"Yuri, youre next" he stated and you stepped forward as you were handed a ball.

You stepped into the ring and took a deep breath, concentrating and feeling your body prickle. The birds chirped louder and everything felt sharper. You pulled your arm back and threw with all your might. The ball soared into the sky becoming nothing more as the blue swallowed it. You didn’t think youd do as good as Bakugou. It was sunny and the sun causes weakness in your senses.

Aizawa turned the phone and you saw your score 706. You smiled and turned round seeing kirishima giving you a thumbs up and a smile. Bakugou however growled as you walked back he grabbed your wrist. Aizawa turning away as his phone rang.

"What the hell! You’re just a small weakling!" He snapped as he glared down at you and you swallowed thickly.

"Its just part of my quirk. I can increase my strength with my blood" you whispered, feeling very intimidated by the seething blonde over you.

“Bakugou, leave her alone. She beat you that just means shes working harder than you” Aizawa muttered and Bakugou grumbled, tossing your wrist aside and stomping back over to where he previously stood. You walked back to kirishima who gave a soft smile and patted your head making you giggle. You watched as everyone took turns before feeling someone nudge your arm and you looked to your right.

You moved on with the next exercise. It was a timed sprint. You watched as bakugou used his quirk and fired himself forward. Iida obviously excelling at this task with his engines on his calves. There was a girl who tapped her feet and watched as she rang across but she looked weightless.

It was now your turn and you were against tsuyu. She had frog like qualities. That was common, something similar to you. You smiled again as you got ready, when you were told to go before anyone could even comprehend what happened you stood at the finish line. Tsuyu cane fo the end also, hopping her way. She smiled at you and congratulated you. You walked over to the girl with short brown hair and smiled at her. Her quirk seemed cool.

"Hey whats your name?" You asked and she looked at you nervously. "Mines is Yuri”

"Oh its Uraraka Ochaco" she smiled. You smiled back, asking her what her quirk was.

"Oh! Its called zero gravity. I can make things float by touching them and making them weightless but it does make me feel sick!" She explained "whats yours?"

"I have heightened senses-" she cut you off

"Yeah i seen that! You practically teleported, it was so cool!" She grinned and you blushed slightly not used to compliments

"Th-Thank you! Your quirk is also super cool! I mean making things float that would be so helpful in rescuing people!" You grinned and she nodded, hearing aizawa state the next exercise. The day went on, one after one everyone competed and you did pretty good.

Izuku broke his finger. You gauged that he maybe has super strength and his body simply cannot handle it. He isnt very built when you look at him so that may be it.

The leaderboard appeared. You placed fourth. You smiled as you all entered back into the changing rooms. You took your clothes from your locker and walked out, seeing the bathroom straight ahead some boys were already done changing. One was kirishima.

"Hey Yuri. The changing room is that way" he stated nodding his head in the direction you came and you nodded.

"I know but i dont like getting changed infront of people" you mumbled, slightly embarrassed, looking as Kaminari, mineta and bakugou stared at you.

"O-Oh. Wait! Dont be embarrassed. That's completely normal" he stammered out and you say as mineta appeared beside him, so not manly of him to make you feel embarrassed!

"If you need any help Yuri. Ill certainly be of good assistance" he smirked, raising his eyebrows up and down suggestively.

"Ugh! You freaking PERVERT!" You shouted at him and he backed away, glaring at the purple pervert.

"Ok-okay! Geez, offer a woman some help and they act like that" he grumbled ready to turn around but you felt yourself grow angrier at his words. You reached out and grabbed his wrist, pulling him back as you leaned down closely to his face.

"Excuse me! Why would i want a boy to help me get changed. Im perfectly capable of changing myself! You're such a PERVERT Mineta! Who do you think you are saying those things! Ugh! im gonna kill you" you growled at the boy who paled at your face. Your sharp fangs were on display and your crimson eyes glowered at the boy.

"Geez! What are you Bakugous girlfriend, getting so hotheaded!” He cried, pulling away from you and running behind kaminari.

You rolled your eyes, turning and going to the bathroom to get changed. When you exited. Kirishima invited you to join them for lunch. You were pretty hungry.

[winderlylandchime]

Make sure you read the other message before this one. It was a bitch to shorten this for the ask limit but oh well :)

Here is the shortened version of his dating life during summer. It all started when a friends gf looked at my brother and went “I have some friends to set you up with that I think you’d like” He went on a date to a bar to meet up with her “lovely and very cute friend Alexis”. He gets there and then (his exact words) “I hear my name, look up and there’s a dude. Big dude. Muscles and hair and everything. And he starts going on about how he heard so much about me. Took me 5 minutes to realize that he’s Alexis. Dude caught on that I thought he was a woman but it’s cool. We had drinks, It was a fun night so at least I made a friend” I thought that was funny/cute bc he really does love making friends. So he forgot to mention the dude part of the issue to the girl when he told her it didn’t work, so she obviously set him up with another guy. He was somehow still shocked even tho he forgot to tell her, the guy realized it like 20 minutes in, didn’t want to make it uncomfortable so he goes to leave and my brother being an “ALLY” (yes, he did that to his face) suggested they hang as friends. Third time HE STILL FORGETS TO MENTION IT, so she sets him up with her really good friend Nick. So he knows it’s a man but he didn’t want to be rude since shes going all out for him, so he went on the date and plans to tell the guy about the mix up but when he got there (this is a real fucking voice note he sent me at 1 am that day) “I forgot! I had a speech cause I didn’t wanna be a dick but I saw him and I just forgot what the fuck I was gonna say. Bro it took me 3 tries to tell him my name, idk what the fuck happened, I think its some type of a stroke that only lasts like a minute” So they went to a bar and somehow during drinks (his plan was a drink & come clean but he got “distracted”) he agreed to go bowling. Yes, he agreed to a 2nd date bc he was distracted. A week later HE asked Nick if he wanted to go hiking. This whole time they are texting nonstop btw. They went hiking in the morning, spent half a day together, the guy made them lunch. Do you see where this is going because my brother somehow did not. A week later my friend whos a bartender saw them at her job and she said that my brother was being shown how to play pool by some guy. As in the guy was wrapped around his body showing him how to do it. I really hope you know what I mean by this! And my brother was apparently all blushy and kept missing shots. Oh btw, my brother? REALLY fucking good at pool. He’s on a team at his local bar with his friends. So he played dumb, for sure! 2 days later at family bbq, he walks in goes to my uncles and says “yo dudes, respectfully asking but how the fuck did you know you wanted to fuck each other? Because I’m about to either do the worlds dumbest thing in my whole life OR the coolest thing ever and I would like to know if I’m just gonna have fun in the middle part of it or the after too?” he explained the whole thing and everyone went “dude, hate to tell you but you’ve been dating him for like 2 weeks” He tried to argue it with “no, I just..He just..I get distracted when he talks bc he keeps smiling and laughing at my jokes and i think my stutter comes back cause i cant form a sentence (he has never stuttered in his life) so I keep forgetting to tell him” two days later, he walks into the house and goes “yo dad, I fixed your car oh and btw gang? Ya boy? Not straight, i was wrong but don’t ask me anything more cause honestly? I don’t fucking know, I’m winging this bitch” Anyway, this was late June, they’ve been dating ever since. Sweet Nick genuinely thought my brother was shy (lol) and that’s why he didn’t kiss Nick while on the hike, so he was waiting for my brother to relax (lol). Meanwhile my brother was having a crisis without the crisis bc he genuinely up until the pool date thought, they were just hanging out and that he was just feeling (his words) ‘the feelings of a cool bromance’ whenever he went all blushy, giggly and dumb over him.

IF YOU HAVE NOT YET READ THE PREVIOUS UPDATES GO DO SO NOW. As brother anon would say "don't be a little bitch." You have not earned this update if you haven't read the others.

I AM FUCKING SCREAMING DEAR SWEET ANON!!! This is straight (heh heh) out of a fanfiction. What life is your brother leading?

Like bro, bro, bro. You are an ALLY (makes fist) and hang out with drag queens and love queer culture (like a 20 year old TV show)... I think the dots were all there to be connected and Nick came along and genuinely thought he was dating your brother and your brother just caught on. Also. bro, when you didn't immediately correct this woman who is setting you up with men.... mayhaps that could have been a clue. Correct me if I'm wrong non bisexual/pan/fluid folks, but if you're set up on a date with someone whose gender does not align with your attraction, you're correcting the matchmaker first chance you get. right? Like I enjoy the company of a man (not in a Blanche type of way), but if someone set me up on a date with one, I would be like "very respectfully, you are barking up the wrong tree."

I am imagining your brother all blushy and giggly and flirty and not realizing that he has indeed caught feelings for this dude. THAT HE KEEPS GOING ON DATES WITH. You and your long-suffering uncles. Thoughts and prayers.

...at least your brother already knows what rimming is.

[picmitsuba]

pls pls pls tell me more about Ayuka and/or Kiku I literally love them and their designs so much!!!!!

OHHH GOSH.. see i fumble at these all the time. i have a story for them in my head but idk how to put it out there... and in an order that makes sense?

ill try for kikus since i have it the most sorted rn

kikus actual name is emika, the girl shes possessing is just named kiku. !! but we call her kiku anyways. kind of symbolic Shrug

she has ties to the name Kiku from back when she was alive... ! her friend was named the same thing, but she hasnt realized that lol. this is why she possesses This kiku in the first place, she felt very drawn to her due to her popularity and her name.

emika was alive during the timeline of the sumire chapters! her and her friend, kiku (this is confusing to write) were both young children when they both saw no.6 just kill everyone. emika after this day is able to tell when people will die. super cool!

the trauma just really settles in very late when kiku (the friend) is a teenager. she becomes wary of everyone, esp adult figures and essentially secludes herself from the village. but emika can see that kiku will die soon. but...! she doesnt realize she has the same timed fate as her friend :D

they finally talk, and meet at the pond they would visit as kids. one thing leads to another, and emika is pushed into the pond and left to drown :-D

as a spirit, she comes back angry and restless. she didnt remember a thing, but she felt like the life she had amounted to nothing. so it doesnt.. end like that. she begins possessing people. she switches bodies every 1-2 years!

her super moral rule of possession is to only possess people who are close to death... (very supernatural way of thinking lol) but in this case, kiku (present) was going to have a long life. but emika possesses her anyways cuz shes selfish 🙏. which just cuts the real kikus life short, as her actual spirit just did not even last a week outside of the body.

in her head, she reasons it by planning to make this life Really worth it. but... issue is, possessed humans arent really sensed. very much forgetable. so no one ever approaches or notices her. so she stays as kiku... for decades! since the 80s!! just waiting for someone to see her. even the few who Can notice her due to a higher spiritual power just kind of dgaf and dont realise what she even is lol

she cant let go of humanity despite being dead.. she died young and she cant even remember her own past, so she clings onto humanity through possession instead of moving on! otherwise, she will think her life will amount to nothing. very healthy!

but ayuka can now see her after being cursed, and kiku makes her first friend. and nothing bad will happen!.

theres 'kiku' for ya 🫡 u kinda get the theming for her character, yah :D

[scoonsalicious]

hi pookie its meee🩷🩷

I just wanna tell im sorry that i havent been spamming lately😂. Part of it is because im busy preparing for my sis engagement day which is tomorrow (WHO KNEW ENGAGEMENT WOULD BE VERY CHAOTIC?!)

Unwanted updates has been my alarm clock early in the morning (around 6-8)😂. Usually I would wake up at 12 in the afternoon but since then, early it is.

Somehow my brain knows when you’ll update.

OKKAY Let’s rewind to chpter 23. Of all things… SHEAR A SHEEP?!😂😂😂😂 Thinking about it, I might actually do it too😂 Tony and Pocket clicked right away. I love their dynamic. He cares for her since the beginning and for someone like Pocket, she needs him. That chapter is wholesome.

Next, even if it’s only 1 part, we got to see Sam and Pocket in action and I can’t wait for more. Sam calling himself dark chocolate is just😂😂😂😂. Also a glimpse of Pocket’s childhood/backstory😔 She’s a tough one which makes me even more worried. The ‘plan’. Buying drugs from Kozlov sounds BAD. This makes me think that they will force her to take some kind of new drugs that made her really vulnerable and kidnapped her. (and i really REALLY think, will be the work of fucker cunthage).

Last but not least, I miss Bucket😂 I miss his stupid head. I cant wait for him to be the knight in shining armor, saving his beloved Pocket and beat the shit out of Jeremiah. I trust Pookie will build him to the manly man he needed to be.

Anyways, as always, loads of love for u Pookie. Ur work r the best.😭🩷 I cant wait for the upcoming new story.🔥

Hi, Bestie!!! I love getting your messages! And no need to apologize, because 1) they are *never* spam, and 2) you're busy! Congratulations to your sister, by the way! I hope she has a very long, happy, and healthy marriage! I'm glad I can be your personal alarm clock, lol; though, if I could sleep until noon, that's all I'd be doing! So, the shearing a sheep thing-- I was having a convo with @mrsbuckybarnes1917 and was talking about how I think RDJ and I could be besties, just hanging out and shooting the shit and going on ridiculous adventures, then I was like "he seems like the kind of guy I could shear a sheep with in the middle of the night." And BOOM! An origin story was born! It ended up working out better than I expected. I love writing them together so very much. He really is the solid foundation of her life, and if not for him, who knows where she'd be right now?

Sam calling himself 'Dark Chocolate' was loosely based on Marshall from How I Met Your Mother calling himself 'Big Fudge.' I dunno, as I was writing, I just saw Sam saying it, and I was like 'Bingpot!'

I miss Bucket, too. He has a teeny, tiny over-the-phone cameo in the next part, but they won't be 'on screen' again together until Chapter 25. I should have kept them apart for longer, honestly, but I couldn't resist.

Three parts coming out today, since they're all relatively short, and I'll be leaving you on a bit of cliff hanger to start your weekend. In the meantime, I'm off to work on With Friends Like These which, part way through chapter four, is already 19.5k words. Brevity is not my strong suit, apparently, lol.

As always, Pookie loves you so much, and the cat-kiss gifs give me life! There's nothing I love more than a kitten smooch!

[cerealmonster15]

I’m gonna do something so cruel.

I’m gonna ask you to pick your favourite Twst rarepair of all time

HELP okay ive spent some of my downtime thinking about it but omg.......... having to pick is h a r d......... like if you asked me a few years ago i def wouldve said jamiazu FULL STOP, however, i think it has since graduated from its rarepair status especially after engtwst got going. it's still an absolute fave but that knocks it out of the running for rarepairs...

I'm not with my laptop currently, otherwise i mightve spent time pulling up pixiv and ao3 numbers to compare and contrast lol. but i dont feel like doing that on phones and tablets so we're going off vibes from what i remember.

so there are a few i considered and all the immediate ones that came to mind were cater related [im cheating and yapping about a bunch but i think i have one picked by the end lol. i was doodling it out....

honorable mention to silver/kalim who i LOVEEEEE but i forgot i had considered til just now and i dont feel like drawing more lol. but i find them very underrated. still, as much as i love them, i still think my pick will be one of theyse ^ cay ships lol. so running thru my choices, i was also considering idia/cater, which i havve been HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMing over whether or not it still counts as a rarepair too. i feel like it's sort of in that gray spot of like, i see more of it than i used to but also still not a super updated one, maybe slightly behind jamil/azul lol. ^ azul and idia r makin faces at each other in that doodle bc idias like "teehee you cant win this competition bitch" and azuls like "fuck u that means we r more popular" um anyway.

and then of course one of the firstones that came ot mind and is DEF a rare pair is my beloved cater/jade lol. they get a few instances every few events that make me go bonkers and even tho it's few and far between i love them,,,, still, i had to consider a few more...

cater/vil is also an og ship that's like, surprisingly underrated i feel like??? like, i see it now and then but it def feels like only really a handful of people making stuff for them. fuck like even i dont draw/write them much bc i find vil oddly hard to draw jkLFHSKDLFJ and ive just strangely never written a fic for them? despite the fact that ive def written down fic ideas and concepts for them. iive just never sat and done it i dont think, even tho theyre one of my earliest twst ships. that was the case w/cater and idia for a while too til i got a prompt suggestion so maybe i gotta reblog some of those prompt posts again and get some assists lol.

cater/leona is one thats been fucking haunting me for like 2+ years now lol. like i feel like especially lately ive been thinking about them a LOT so i thought they could use honorable meniton here as well.......... tho they are more based on vibes and headcanons and a few instances in the game.

i could ramble about all of these in more detail but i dont feel like getting into it rn and anyay i think my winner is probably.............. well also cheating kind of bc it's a weird blend of CAYRID!!!!!!!!! but also treycayrid which i am NOT SURE If that counts. both bc it's not technically a pair and i dont know how rare the trio is considerd - but i feel like they kind of are??? like theyre depicted in canon and fanworks together a lot, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUT i feel like in terms of a threeway ship you dont see it as often. like i think it's usually cater/trey [my beloved!!!!!!!!!!!] and i think also trey/riddle but people sleep on cater/riddle both in the ship way AAAAAANDDDDD in the platonic friendship way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! meanwhile they make ME absolutely bonkers bananas and i think about them so often every day those are my little son boys i love u heartslabyul omg........... heartslabyul in general really touches my heart and makes me feel things, and the bonds they all have with each other, even w/o shipping, just wjlfkhefkljdslhf theres so much there. im kind of tired so i guess i wont go into it/ive probs rambled deeply about them already somewhere on here but like. cater and riddle man. there's a lot of love to be explored there. cater being presumably riddles first friend outside of trey and chenya. cater being essentially a second vice housewarden in terms of being the other guy riddle trusts with helping lead dorm prep things and is always by their side. cater and riddle working together in book 2 to help figure out what's going on with who tried to sabotage riddle and trey, both of them being referred to by trey as getting fussy over unbirthday decorations lol, theyre just jflwjlfhewflkj theyre a unit whether you ship them or not and i CAAAAANT let go of it. i think theres a lot of overlap of friendship and shippy-ship romance whatever both in fiction and reality and oughghghghf i feel it when i talk about my funny little guys. i like how i said i wasnt gonna get into it and then i kept talking lol. i could talk about them forever tho but i'm sleepy and dont want to go into full analysis mode right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but sure i will say either treycayrid or just cayrid for my final answer. but to me any combo of trey cater and riddle even as a one pair ship has to include the other as an ultimate bff present in their life FOREVER cater i s2g you will learn to have long term bonds in your life it can happen it will happen. also chenya. hes not here but i think putting him in the mix is also fun.

anyway yay i love to yap forever. sorry for any typos i dont really get spellcheck when im on this tablet and also using my bluetooth keyboard / tumblr app doesnt rotate sideways when im using it so im not reading as closely. but u get what i mean. teehee <3

[jadebread64]

time for me to post my bullshit ramblings on the new doctor who episode in no particular order like a maniac lol

(SPOILERS AHOY, DONT CLICK ON THE READMORE IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THE EPISODE)

obviously seeing tennant and tate back in their roles is so cool, they feel exactly as they should, it doesnt even feel like 15 years have passed when you watch them its great

DONNA CANONICALLY HAS A NONBINARY DAUGHTER AND IM SO FUCKING HAPPY ABOUT THAT

NOT ONLY THAT BUT HER ALSO BEING PART OF THE METACRISIS TIME LORD SHIT IS SUPER COOL

lmao im not even joking when i first saw the meep™ i literally thought "aww it's so cute i hope it doesnt end up being evil" and LO AND BEHOLD

OH MY GOD DAVID TENNANT JUST SUDDENLY PUTTING ON A FUCKING JUDGE WIG AND DOING A COURTROOM SCENE WITH THE MEEP AND THE WRARTH WHILE DONNA AND HER CONCERNED FAMILY JUST OBSERVE

also i think the wrarth voices are so funny cause in the trailers they're like *auurhghghg scary monster sounds!!1!* but in the episode they just sound british like every doctor who space alien should

i think the new TARDIS looks really cartoony and i think it's kinda fun, idk if ncuti is gonna end up with this TARDIS set (i'd imagine the bbc doesnt have the budget to make a whole TARDIS set for 4 episodes then just make a new one lol) but i think it looks kinda plain at the moment? idk if they added some chairs and bookshelves n shit like the capaldi one and make it look more lived in overtime it might be one of my favourites just for the whole classic who vibe it has. either way it's perfect for david he gets to run around like a little kid in there and thats all that matters lol

also tennants new suit looks so fucking good and honestly wish he just had that in series 2-4 instead of the brown suit

i think it's so funny how literally not even 5 minutes after entering the TARDIS donna just fucking spills her coffee on the console and the whole thing just explodes and goes to shit immediately lmao

ALSO WE'RE GETTING A FULL ON TENNANT/TATE ADVENTURE NEXT WEEK???? AM I IN 2008 OR 2023 I CANNOT TELL ANYMORE TIME HAS NO MEANING

im really hoping we get to see whoever the fuck neil patrick harris' character is in the next episode, im 99% sure it's gonna be the celestial toymaker but only because the doctor who youtube account kept posting celestial toymaker clips and i think they're being cheeky bastards lol (/positive)

(/sarcasm) i cant wait to see all the queerphobic assholes shitting on this episode for having the few pronouns/binary lines in it and going "dOcTor wHo iS wOkE nOw yUcK" even though doctor who has been progressive since literally 1963 with the daleks (which got a fancy new colourization that i need to check out still but thats a whole OTHER THING LOL)

oh yeah and david's acting is really fucking good in this, like when he thinks wilf has died and he just sorrowfully says "i loved that man." like MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS

plus when he thinks he has to sacrifice donna to save everybody, holy shit his perfomance is incredible

this is just a me thing but seeing a doctor who episode live as its broadcasting is so cool, i've been watching this show for like 8 years (i think??) and i usually just ended up finding it on dailymotion or some shit like a day or two after the episode aired so i'd always be late for it lol (btw for the people coming after me i dont pay for disney+ at all lol) so watching it the at the same time as everyone else was very cool especially since i nearly slept in through it lmao

anyways i think thats all if i remember any more things i'll add em in lol

plus some bonus ramblings before the episode aired

[denjilvrr]

[4:15 AM] AKI HAYAKAWA

“im going to be so tired for work tomorrow.” you thought as you walked into the local corner store. it was 4:15 am and you had work tomorrow morning at 6 but these past few nights have been sleepless.

you walked through the isles searching for your go-to “midnight” snack. grabbing cup ramen, a few candy bars, and a slurpee. not the best mix but it sure put you to sleep with a stomach ache waiting in the morning.

you go up to the counter and patiently wait as the cashier rings up youre items. “8 dollars and 56 cents.” he says. you pull out your wallet and hand him 6 dollars in cash, maybe he’ll let it slide because you come here all the time.

he looks at you kind of funny, “um.. youre 2 dollars and 56 cents short.” you smiled, “can you let it slide this once, please. i dont have cash on me and my card is at home. i come here all the time, me and you are practically friends! so please, just let it slide..?”

“nope! sorry i cant do that,” he laughed, “also we’re not friends.” “oh please just this once ill pay you back tomorrow!” he just shook his head no as you sighed in defeat, grabbing the stuff to put it back, when suddenly you ran into someone who was standing a little to close.

“oh sorry about that, excuse me.” you said as you picked up the candy that had fallen out your hands. “no, my fault, i was standing too close.” the guy said, “by the way if you dont have the money i can pay for it.”

was he listening to the conversation? “oh i couldn’t do that, no thank you!” you said already feeling embarrassed because you didnt have enough cash to pay, but now you couldnt have a stranger pay for it!

“no its alright, theres a deal with the ramen anyways, so just put it with my stuff and give me the cash you have.” you obliged and set your stuff back onto the counter. “thank you..”

“of course, i couldnt have a person go hungry.” he said so casually. you didnt know what it was but something about his attitude made you feel happy.

he paid for his and your stuff and you thanked him again before walking out and sitting at the near by table to eat your ramen, when suddenly the chair infront of you was pulled out.

it was the guy who paid for your stuff. he didnt say anything but ate his ramen comfortably as you kind of just stared at him. “umm thank you again, i really appreciate it.” you said trying to break the silence.

“oh no problem, but whats someone like you are you doing up at this hour? its late you know.” he questioned. “oh! i just couldnt sleep for some reason and this usually helps me, because i get full.” you answered, “also whats youre name?”

“my name is aki, ive seen you around these last couple nights, are you new to the area?” he asked. “oh no, im not,” you laughed, “i lived here for quite a while now but just been coming here these last couple of nights because my sleeplessness.”

aki nodded and took another bite of his ramen, before you spoke up. “i could give you what i owe you another day, just give me contact information.” you said pushing youre phone towards him.

“is this your way of asking for my number?” he chuckled, “but you dont have to repay me in cash, just keep coming here and having some ramen with me, it gets a little lonely eating here by myself at 4am.

you agreed and aki put his information on your phone. the rest of the time you 2 just talked about nonsense until it was 4:45 and you had to leave.

hi guys im back ! (kind of) this has been in my head the last couple of days and decided to write it really quickly since i have nothing better to do lol. might start writing again, who knows ⇨ REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED <3

[pancho-pinto]

boop

here to tell you that sweet talk is AMAZING and its my roman empire, very well written and though my brain DID get lost at a few parts (maybe its because im reading very late at night and woke up very early in the morning and i've been tired all day-) it was still amazing and thank you so much for writing it

you're a great writer and i hope this inspires you to write more fics in the future (going to check your other works after sending this ask because i havent yet)

your fic was exactly what i needed after a breakup, which i'll admit sounds a little odd because it was very romancy and i dont think it makes a lot of sense to anyone else but in my brain it does- idk it was my first relationship, plus i'm autistic so maybe some of that plays a role? im rambling its 1am and i've been awake since 6am- this is probably really hard to read- ANYWAYS love love loved and still love your fic, you're officially on the list of my top 2 fics (which isn't saying a lot as i havent read many) and i cant choose between yours and the first fic i ever read

i feel like i've rambled too much but i needed to gush about your fic somewhere and i deleted discord off this device a few days ago and have yet to reinstall it and cant be bothered, plus i cant log into ao3 right now to leave a comment i'm too cozy (even though the password book is literally 3 meters away)

aaand somehow after saying i rambled too much i rambled more.. oops

keep being you and keep being awesome!! (and mayhaps write more.. stares at you with beady little eyes /nf /pos)

-anon (they/them)

HELLO ANON LOVELY ANON BELOVED ANON

my response under the cut because i dont want to subject my friends to my rambling. they already deal with it plenty xp

THANK YOU SO MUCH. sweet talk is really gotten to be my 'that one fic' lol adored it though. it was such a fun yet stressful experience. one day i will learn to write multi-chapter fics i swear!!!

and yes, i dont blame you if you didnt understand some parts. honestly, i have plenty times i could still work on for my writing. but hey! we all start somewhere, and im very proud of how it turned out either way.

and this was my reaction when i saw your ask

so yes. yes very much going to motivate me to write more. ya have no idea. i thrive on validation. dopamine rushes make brain and writing go brrrrrrr.

anon, sweet anon, i love rambling too. you are at home here! and i hope you feel better after that breakup. there are more fishes in the sea, and if you dont fancy fishing, there are more things to do like swimming, kayaking, walking on the beach and such. you will be fine. i believe you will because you kick-ass!!!!

and and and whoa!!! if i had a nickel for every person who told me im one of their fav writers, id have a couple nickels. which, crazy ngl. thank you. genuinely. that means so fucking much

you keep being plenty awesome yourself<3!!!

[desertthorn]

Omg i forgot to send you this for the music ask game

Here my picks for you: 2, 5, 9, 14, 43

i know they may be too many (there are too many options to choose from lmao) you can do the ones you prefer if you dont wanna answer them all lol

2: Top 10 favorite songs at the moment

LOL I CANNOT CHOOSE 10, but I've been listening to a lot of oldies lately. Mostly 50s and 60s swing.

5: Top 10 favorite bands of all time

GURL you killin me. No way i can choose.

9: Top 3 genres

IDEK imma just say classic rock, 30s Jazz and Blues, and Swing

14: 3 songs that make you calm

There's a song called Early Morning idr who by that i love a lot. I cant think of any others, but I'm sure they're more.

43: Ever kissed on a song? If yes, which one?

Lol I've kissed to many songs, but none of them matter or are particularly memorable. The only time ive kissed someone that mattered to me, there was no music, not outside of my head anyway. Lol.

🎶I hear music, when I look into your eyes🎶

.

Lol sorry for the lack of answers. These were too hard. I been trying to do this for 2 days. 😅 i did my best

Thanks for the asks anyway! 😊

[iconsumeheadcanons]

i headcanon donnie as being a late talker who became a person who almost never shuts up(affectionate)

i think he started being proficient maybe a year or 2 before meeting april. im certain he designed his own AAC app that uses his own voice for days when he cant talk. and the family absolutely also has TSL too!

but i made this post about that episode where he gets frustrated that his brothers dont understand things like he does (i think Mind Meld was the name) and he throws crayons at the table and starts yelling and then mumbling about his brothers being 'dumbs-dumbs'. that scene distinctly reminds me of throwing 'tantrums'(sorry dont know what to call them? fits maybe? i dont look positively at them) in middle school about my classmates 'being stupid and not following rules'.

i dont look negatively on the scene (its more of just personal bad experience lol. this is why im in therapy). i in fact adore the autism rep so much! even tho donnie is someone w low empathy and im too-high empathy, i feel like ive never seen a character who i understand so well. this scene reminds me SO much of being frustrated that other kids didnt think like me and didnt care about the same things and etc. i use to throw anything, i use to scream and yell, i use to cry and stomp. everyone told me i had anger issues and i didnt think so at the time and im still not certain if it was just struggling to regulate emotionally. i think it was so cool to see donnie do the same there. i love the scenes that show that he struggles w emotional regulation (prolly especially since he struggles to recognize the emotions as well)

ANYWAY what this headcanon post was supposed to be about was that i think some of donnies first words that he repeated like echolalia was 'dumbs-dumb'. the way he kept muttering it in that scene reminds me of being too mad to speak and getting stuck w easy/familiar words. i can easily see a little donnie in the middle of diy speech therapy w splinter walking around and calling everything dumbdumbs.

[coridallasmultipass]

Vent/personal/health/long post

Omggg so today has been so unbELIEVABLY shitty

First i wake up in pain still from my back going out on sunday when I woke up. That was expected though. My dental aligner trays hurt like a motherfucker to pull out still. Then im getting a quick breakfast together and I get a text from the clinic saying my doctors appointment i needed before tomorrow is canceled AGAIN. I had to check with the clinic and the specialist (appointment tomorrow) if its okay if I have renewed referral clinic appointment next week. So fingers crossed thats okay, because thats whats happening its not possible to see the clinic before the specialist, and ive had the specialist appointment for months, and the clinic only told me i need to renew the referral on last friday, and ive had appointments every day this week. Whatever. It is what it is.

Then im pouring cereal, drizzle a little agave on top because its unsweetened, and then immediately knock the bowl over all over my lap, sticky side down. I still cant go pick up the bits under the table now, because its killing my back to even pull the chair out, my back is in such bad shape. (Was gonna ask the clinic doctor to help out w it too but i guess im going this whole week without a treatment plan, just taking old painkillers lmao.)

Speaking of painkillers, i have one left of this bottle. I have another painkiller type, but its way too strong, and even if i cut it in half itll be too strong, but im gonna have to use that if i dont have any improvement.

So all that above was the easy peasy part of my day. Next is my appointment to renew state benefits (for food). I get EVERYTHING ready all gathered into the one spot in my room i know i can get consistent cell service, and settle down. Phone appointment time comes. I hear the landline downstairs ring. Fuck. I grab my phone and paperwork and i cant make it in time both because of my back problems and also because the landline only rings twice. I literally grabbed the phone as the case worker stopped speaking on the machine. Fuck again. I cant understand the phone number they said on the machine. It takes me a minute to realize its the same number on my paper work. I try to call but my house is a dead zone. Go back to my room, get put thru to the robot answering machine because its the general number. Not a callback number. Fuck. The robot then hangs up on me saying theres a high call volume and to call back later.

But my appointment is now! I call again and get hung up on. I call again and finally get put on hold. This is like 20 minutes after my appointment time because it takes like 7 minutes of talking to the robot to get put into a call. So im on hold, i hear the landline so i rush downstairs to try and get it again but im too late (probably a robo call, we get a lot). There was no new message, so i stay on hold, where im expecting an 80 minute wait time.

Completely fucked up process when i had an appointment scheduled! I shouldve been able to call the worker back on the available phone.

Anyway. Im dying in pain and sobbing on the phone and end up having to sit on the kitchen chair thats hard wood because i got reception in there and i wanted to be closer to the landline just in case. Im sobbing for like the first 2 hours bc of pain from exterting myself rushing around the house. I try sending off a message on the online portal. But its like 'we'll get back to you within 5 days' lol.

My battery gets low so I risk bringing my phone to my room to use the bathroom and grab a charger, take off my dental trays (more pain) so i can eat and drink something. More pain when i get back downstairs.

Im on hold for longer. So i start looking for someone higher up to pester because the whole situation is fucked. Around 3 hours on hold i send off an email to someone whos the director of that org at the county.

Its at this point i realise i might be racking up a huge phone bill, so i start telling myself 'ok sunk cost fallacy this isnt worth the wait' and i start trying to log back into the portal (which id already been doing like 20 times already this day) to request a new appointment. Then the portal keeps logging me out as soon as i log in. And i cant reset my password or do anything.

Im about to give up, going nuts after hearing the same note played over and over on the hold music. And someone fucking answers the phone.

Ho lee shit. I couldnt believe it.

A 4 hour hold that actually produced results????

Apparently all their systems are down and the worker was like 'okay yeah youre gonna be the last person i process today i am not able to access anything right now' and even had to do some stuff manually, but my case is renewed and everything should be settled now

So yeah that was over 4 hours of torture being in the uncomfortable kitchen for so long, when i WAS prepared for my appointment ahead of time. Ugh. I shouldnt have to hurt myself to get this done, but no one else was in the house to catch the landline for me, and i didnt know i could get reception in the kitchen.

(Kind of worked out tho bc i wouldve had to hang up if my doctors appointment today didnt cancel, and also i wouldve hung up if the online portal functioned)

The sad thing is im not even done. i gotta deal with another appointment tomorrow in another town. (Already had to go out of town on tuesday for the teeth aligners/tmj appliances), like the car is not comfortable for my injured back lmao

I dont think the appointment tmr is anything big its prob just a check up and to renew meds, but getting there, early in the morning, is gonna be fucking hard. I doubt this doc will do anything for my back or regular level of chronic pain, but im gonna make a big stink about it because i havent stopped being in pain for like ever, and the past month has just been so fucking hard on me with trying to help family do labor intensive stuff (which is probably why my back got fucked and gave up on sunday)

It really fucking sucks being in chronic pain and no doctors wanna do anything to treat the pain. Ive already been on every type of antidepressant and none of them helped my fibro or depression. Ive actually felt a LOT better since stopping them last winter. But im still in a lot of pain all the time. I dont wnna be like 'give me painkillers' but... give me painkillers. I was so comfortable when i was on them regularly in the past. And then the whole opioid crisis thing happened and now no one gives them to me except when i had endo flare ups (which. Lol. They barely do anything for endo pain. Which is why i was so surprised they did anything at all for my back pain when i took one on sunday!) I have always been responsible with them and always took the lowest dose (cut them in half back then) because i dont like the feeling of painkillers lololol

God tho this back pain... on sunday it was so humiliating, i kept getting stuck where i was because the pain was so bad. Even just lying flat on my back was excruciating. I was Almost at the point where i wouldve needed help to use the bathroom. Even now, while my back is much better (still terrible tho) and with painkillers, i can barely twist to grab toilet paper or reach to dry myself. It fucking sucks. Getting clothes on and off? Sucks. Especially reaching to get my feet out of pants or socks on and off.

You dont realize how much you took for granted until you struggle to do basic daily movement. I thought i was doing so well too because ive been lifting weights since februrary! Just arm workouts tho. Was doing situps until i had another endo flare up in spring. I always forget how bad severe pain situations are, either with an injury or my endo flare ups. Im living in constant fear of the next endo flare up and that sucks too. My current back problem is like, spikes of level 10 pain with movement. The endo flare ups is sustained level 10 pain. So theyre not even comparable but its still super severe.

Anyway. This has been super rough on me. Especially the added pain and overstimulation of the new back pain, and now the constant pain and headache from the teeth aligners, which is another thing im super scared about. What if it ends up making my jaw worse? What if i pull out a tooth? God just prying them off my teeth is like getting teeth pulled it hurts so much. Im like crying when i have to take the bottom one off, the hook digs into my gums and then when one side comes off its excruciatingly stuck on the other side. Literally feels like teeth being pulled. Im surprised my one crown is still in place (ive been pulling from the opposite side to try and save it). And ive already lost a bunch of the tooth spikes they added to keep the aligners in place, but the office is like a 2 hour drive away so i cant just go get the spike replaced. I dont even have a car or license i have to coordinate with family lol. And the brand is like so new theres no online discussions about it so i cant even commiserate or see how people manage to cope with this level of constant pain from the trays, pulling them out, or the extra large bite guard i cant even close my lips around at night. My teeth are so crooked i cant even tell if its in the right placement bc my teeth dont fit in the bite guard tray. So lol. Im trying.

So yeah i dont have faith in my doctors im scared starting treatment is just gonna make things worse especially because thats been the case my whole life. Ill try to get treated for something and then it reveals or causes something much worse i need to treat. But im trying. Its just hard when i have to treat so many fucking illnesses all at once, and theyre all super painful.

Im fucking tired. Want this week to be over. Want to just sleep, but i cant even do that without being in excruciating pain every time i try to move position. Life rly sucks for me rn.

So thats my vent.

Oh yeah, also dermatillomania has been severe lately too lol. So i look a mess but thankfully my lips get covered by my mask. I was so scared the tmj doc was gonna comment on it but i accidentally forgot to take my piercings out before the appointment so he ended up making conversation about those instead of the glaring wounds on my lips and fingers. (He did notice my bandaids on my fingers lol)

So yeah. Send prayers and gay vibes my way pls i rly need it. Fffff time to go cry and put my trays back in

[yuukei-yikes]

Just ate mold n i was like “OH YEAH YUUKEI YIKES I LOVE THAT GUY”

also i was thinking about harutaka. Plauged with visions as i am. And i had this moment like “WAIT !!!” Bc who the HELL is cooking in that house ???

takane. Cannot cook. And i know like haruka SEEMS like he could cook but like. Hes an artist + hospital. Idk dude i wanna know your thoughts on it

you ate WHAT. ARE YOU ALRIGHT. is the mold eating related to you thinking of me. its just...the first bit of this ask disconcerted me so much.

also my very studied smart correct answer to ur harutaka inquiry that will definitely go insane about domestic harutaka in general: takane can't cook, haruka learns.

youd be right haruka cant cook but he LEARNS. haruka and kido bonding sitcom episode is real to me.

yeah haruka could learn from ayano who he's closer to but I'm delusional abt haruka asking kido, seeing it as a way to approach them and become closer. i think haruka has his little adventure arc where he gets close to everyone in the dan with little bonding moments... kido likes haruka bc he's very chill and it makes them a bit emo about konoha, but spending that time with him allows them to separate the two more properly in their head... konoha was in the kitchen a lot with them, following them around and asking when food was gonna be ready or getting to snack on anything kido was cutting. haruka is more active, asks questions and seems so interested. but he's also asking for little samples like konoha used too hehe.. neither is better than the other it's just different yet similar people. kido is happy to hang out with haruka :3

sorry. that aside. back to harutaka. yeah i think haruka can cook. but he DEFINITELY learns!!! he definitely had no clue how to. he mentions having a live in helper to make meals and chores lmaoooo this guy is the worst i wonder if he's ever done a dish in his life. takane thinking haruka is flawless then moves in with him and Realises and she's like 😐oh my god. (this is an exaggeration takane does Not think haruka is perfect anyways moving on)

ofc takane is very messy too but like from the little bit we got from her grandma (1. GET UP ALREADY UR GONNA BE LATE. 2. STOP WASTING TIME ON VIDEOGAMES. 3. what do u want for lunch :3) i think takane is... spoiled or just ig standard? idk what to call it. i mean in the sense she probably got a lot of her stuff done by the adult in her life. but unlike haruka who has a dismissive father who pays someone to keep the house together LOL, takane has her actual caretaker and i think miss grandma sounds like the kind who's a little strict and would keep takane very aware of chores and was strict enough to make her do at least some. so takane's actually got a lot more tools/skills/conscience for living alone than haruka. like she will do the dishes while haruka unconsciously waits for them to magically do themselves

haruka in general isnt super familiar with Domestic Life because he grew up basically alone, with a stranger doing all the chores and also spent a lot of time at the hospital (sorry for linking a 2014 pre novel 6 fanfiction dot net fanfic but THISSS fanfic❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ about haruka's feelings on what Home is... is still very dear to me)

Haruka and takane moving in together they are WINGING IT but they have fun. they're like No rules🔥🔥🔥we eat pizza everyday. they eat a lot of takeout and instant food even if haruka can cook bc takane is a picky eater and haruka doesn't always have the energy to cook. haruka and takane work from home according to me myself and i, and their Time Of The Day management is awful. their life is quarantine life. they never... properly organize meals. haruka will always remember lunch and dinner but maybe he wont be in the mood to be like omg maybe i can whip up something quick :3 *starts cutting onions* nah. he's making an everything sandwich and going back to drawing!!!! i also think kido tends to make food for everyone. haruka is one of the only dan members who actually gives kido their tupperwares back without a miss because haruka is very thankful/excited for kido to bring food (notorious tupperware thiefs are kano and shintaro)

anyways. domestic harutaka. theyre the worst. like i know haruka going boywife mode for takane is funny but i dont think he does that immediately. he's got pics to draw dammit. i feel like they live in this small ass apartment and they have never made their bed in their whole life. and if they have futon mattresses they are just never picked up and constantly in the way👍 haruka definitely catches up and discovers vacuuming and putting away the dishes when they're dry but it takes him a second. listen its tough being in ur 20s when last week you were dead and you didnt think youd live to see adulthood!!!! but the bliss of a domestic life with ur s/o gives haruka the power to step up. i believe in him.

OH im also delusional they move with takane's grandma after a few years because um um um *runs away* im delusional!! takane mentions living in a house so that lady is in a house all by herselffff????? i feel so bad for her takane please go back to ur grandma. i think post str when takane reunites with grandma she totally moves back home but kind of immediately moves out again to move in with haruka and grandma's like oh💔

i i think i think i think um um ithink in their mid twenties they move with her cuz grandma is old and takane wants to take care of her.... teeheee. by then haruka's fine with cooking and both are ok with house chores but they probably still get spoiled a bit by grandma once they move in 🙏🙏🙏 that lady loves haruka i know so. sorry btw i got so off topic. i saw the chance to talk domestic harutaka and ran with it. also if youve followed me for a while u know i have a delusional fankid i totally think grandma is living at home too if/when they have a kid. sorry im making myself emo *punches wall* baby konoha.whoa im going so off topic sorry im so normal

sorry for my very delusional reply that was abt everything and nothing at once. also dont eat mold

[bicon-crange]

can the nosey ones know abt ur crush? :3c dw if not. my condolences (positive)

yeah sure why not i cant stop fucking talking about it anyways.

iiii dont know if its necessarily a crush though!! definitely an obsession. definitely some kind of. fixation. thanks for your condolences i definitely fucking need them. TT-TT )

its like. uh. this person i know whos sooo articulate and smart and. theyre really sweet. yknow BASIC SHIT. theyre great everyone likes them.

anyways when we first started talking it was like. some kinda. there was clashing. i guess is how you could put it? but every time we finished talking i felt soo like. electrified. like buzzing. like my whole body was just shaking. adrenaline? maybe?

i really thought at first that it was just a friendly interest. some sort of.. y'know intellectual thing! you meet someone whos so much smarter than you and whos ideas are so well put together and who thinks YOU'RE interesting and of course you want to know more of how their brain works of course youre. captivated a bit yknow? thats like. normal. to feel. i think.

oh the first couple times we talked i went so nuts! i reread over our convos like a thousand times and reiterated our talks several times to EVERYONE in my house. its so actually embarrassing. but they were good convos you HAAAVE to understand. it was like. ducking weaving. it was like. some sort of mental exercise . and i thought it was like. normal. but it just kept. HAPPENING. AND HAPPENING. AND HAPPENING.

and i tell you what this was a lot easier a month or so ago when i was like I JUST REALLY LIKE TALKING TO THIS PERSON!! ^_^ (<- STILL A DEFINITE POSSIBILITY) cause ugh. lately its like. ever since the thought popped in my head that this interest MIIIGHT be romantic in nature its. ALLLL DAY thinking about them its so nuts! its so constant!! its literally like a fucking DISEASE... i feel like. angry over it? spiteful? almost? it reminds me of when i had a crush on a guy in elementary school and I didnt know how to handle it so i beat the hell out of him with a lunch box.

like im over here forgetting shit left and right and messing up basic conversation skills and having heart palpitations and theyre like. fine probably. iiii honestly dont think they even think about me lol. i mean definitely not as much as i am,easy, because im totally insane and obsessive i know this.

we also dont talk so much! its not very often! so yeah im sure they dont think about me as much. im even definitely sure if i ever verbalized this it wouldnt work out. ive visualized them turning me down like 20 different ways for 20 different reasons just today. lots of reasons yknow! im mentally unwell and totally nuts, im immature and also very ugly im unable to carry out a meaningful relationship because of my chronic pain problems and various health issues, all of that is fine but my obsessive nature is really freaky,LD relationships are a no-go, they just dont like me that way, ect ect ect.

its sooo stupid. its SO middle school. they type a response to me and i can barely look at the screen. i feel SO fucking stupid its insane. im like. going to claw my eyes out of my head and chew on them till they burst. i hate it here. and its never going to be reciprocated whatsoever so im literally not even going to try.

BESIDES Y'KNOW!! I DONT EVEN KNOW FOR SURE IF THATS WHAT IM FEELING!! its been wracking my brain for a week straight!! its like. am i just fascinated on an intellectual level, am i just interested in an anthropological sense, are these just really good conversations, if this just normal friendship and im making things super weird? am i just excited that someone seems to get what im saying about what im interested in? yknow. dumb.

either way TLDR; im waiting for it to pass. either I'll sort my own feelings out or itll pass! if its infatuation, GOOD, that has a expiration date of 1-2 years so i will just box it up and not think about it and not do anything about it. ^_^ )9 and it WILL die. BUT if you know how to force that process to go along faster let me KNOW.

[ifthestarsarewilling]

Oc Lore- COG

this has a lot of religious stuff (christian mostly) so if that makes you uncomfortable i wouldn't read it.

but if your okay with it, lets go!

aight, ill start with a basic run down of the story before i get into my ocs because some things wont make much sense otherwise

COG is a visual novel type thing exploring the relationship between a creator and their creations. in this case, the creator would be me (hi yes. me) and the creations are the ocs ill be talking about in a bit. you/the player play through a week, choosing who to talk to and eventually, the four of you go on a road trip. the person whos philosophies/relationship with me you relate to the most drives (you sit in the front seat) and when you get to your destination (the sky, where in universe me lives) you... well ill get to that after doing ocs. then there are four endings:

i kill the four of you and your all reborn into new, animalistic bodies, but i also die

i destroy the universe and you all with it, and i let myself live and create another, better universe

you're all sent back down with boons of some sort and ways to contact me at any time

you all stay with me and become more god-like beings

and thats about it. anyways oc time now!!

--

Oc 1: Patrick (Pat)

pat, he/him, late twenties/early thirties, straight agender

hes a farmer who keeps bees! kinda like a cowboy. he has a pickup truck-like thing (this is MY fantasy world and i can make him have a magic cart that's basically a truck if i want) and lets you sit in the back. also gives you free honey.

hes a proper country lad, quite smart but cant be bothered to do anything with it. also absolutely JACKED like i mean MUSCLES all over this bad boy

he had a femme phase when he was younger, right after his parents died. still has some of the dresses

he likes me. his whole deal is 'hey, you were kinda an awful mom, but i mean you weren't really to blame. gave us all free will and stuff. please talk to me mom'

hes cool. i love my farmer son

--

Oc 2: The Mermaid

the mermaid, she/her, around one fifty, cishet

shes like, really unhealthily christian. now theres nothing wrong with being christian, but shes just using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism.

so basically she had to leave the ocean and become a human after a lot of pollution ruined her home. now, being... yknow. ex-mermaid, she was treated kinda badly by the humans she first met. and so she converted to christianity to try and fit in! didnt really work though...

so she went mad from her hopelessness. prayed for days upon end without sleeping until her (not humanlike) form became twisted and eldritch from starvation. shes obsessed with being human.

so yeah.

she prays a lot. tries to convert people. considers me a false god and would kill me if given the opportunity.

--

Oc 3: Rose

rose, it/its, 17, aromantic pansexual genderqueer

it wants to kill me :3

okay so basically its just... sad? lots of angst here.

its parents were killed in a hate crime (it had two dads) and it was left to raise itself. obviously it found out about my existence, and sort of went "hey, you. why did you let my parents die?" and after receiving no response it is now trying to kill me.

its good at metalworking! the knife in the picture is made by it, as is the necklace and earrings its wearing.

@n3bu-la you wanted to see this?? here you goo sorry it took me so long lol

it is also lactose intolerant and dies its hair. naturally its got straight black hair it basically fried it lol

--

[clippy]

okay this is just gonna be a bunch of rambling so feel free to ignore this cuz it's mostly just me kinda venting and Processing feelings abt being objecto into the void

like okay. i am in a spot where i think i have a very complex relationship w my objecto-ness because of how it is currently manifesting itself in regards to the Clockboy Crush

like in the past, my main crushes that i would consider like, important, and in recent enough memory that they still affect me today, were

Clippy (who is a fictional character; he is sentient in his source but, again, fictional, so he cannot reciprocate feelings)

and Miles (my old car; a real object, but one that I owned and therefore i could essentially project whatever relationship i wanted onto us. realistically, i know he couldnt reciprocate, as he was not sentient irl, but something about him made it seem like he did love me back in a way. it's very complex and hard to explain to literally anyone who doesnt have my brain)

in both of their cases, i would selfship with them, draw them, personify them in certain ways, and have gijinkas of them

i think some extra context that is important is that the relationship i had with Miles is VERY different than the one i have w my current car, Lawrence, who has different vibes to me. like i genuinely get the feeling he only just. tolerates me. lmfao. he is so sexy to me but like, we do not gel like how me and miles did. (which again, is a weird thing to think about and kinda disproves the "oh objectos only want to be with objects because they cant reject them!" mindset in my case like bro why would i "headcanon" my car as not thinking im a sex god he's madly in love with)

anyway this is where the clockboy stuff gets. complex. like. OBVIOUSLY. i have a huge crush on him. i selfship w his objecthead design, and that does extend to his irl version to an extent. obviously, again, i realistically know irl he cannot reciprocate the feelings i have toward him

however... similar to miles, i do get a Vibe from him. there's been some coincidences that seem so specific that it's like. hard to shake that it's not something deeper... and again, i know deep down it's all in my head but at the same time... my hyper empathy toward inanimate objects has always made me instinctively think that most objects have *some* sort of soul.

it's all so complicated and confusing and hard to explain and it's two sides of my brain fighting each other at all times over this. i dont think either side is fully right.

and what sucks is like, when it's about Miles, it's easy to keep to myself and on the down low in a way. i was the only person on earth who would have possibly loved him in that way.... but Clockboy falls into public object territory. while the odds are low that anyone else feels the exact same way toward him, it's not impossible

im not like... opposed to the idea of "sharing" a public object but it's a really complex thing to me. like for him specifically, however, it makes me uncomfortable and i dont... understand why. jealousy is probably the closest word to what i would feel but it doesnt seem entirely accurate.

ive been extremely fortunate to see him irl more lately, and have had a couple experiences that i cant fully disclose (for privacy reasons. nothing weird, i promise. like if i got to be any physically closer than any other guest to him, you would already know it by now. but, just know i have connections and dont want to jeopardize things for anyone lol). like i mentioned there's just been a vibe to him. like part of me does think it is something deeper. but then i question if it's something he would do for anyone else... it's so hard to know.

i'd like to think im special to him, somehow. if he can feel that way about people. he is special to ME, and i just wish i could tell him and have him know it. i would give almost anything to have like, 2 minutes of back and forth communication between us to make sure he knows that.

at the end of the day i know none of that really matters and i should do what makes me happy. like spending time near him is "enough" for me i guess. i know i will never get to be any closer to him than someone standing near him in the queue line. i can never have any form of intimacy with him, no form of privacy. i will never get to own him in a way that lets me be with him everyday in a way that would "matter"

anyway i know this like. is not "normal person" behavior and i know this isn't like. entirely healthy mindsets to have. 90% of the time i dont even like, think about this stuff this deeply but it's on the mind tonight...

im not trying to like, compliment fish or anything, but the reason im posting it is i guess if any of my objecto followers have any like. words of advice or reassurance or something about public objects i wouldnt mind if u sent them my way

(also im kinda in therapy again so if i post this here, if it starts eating away at me, i can find my Thoughts again to read to my therapist if i ever tell her im objecto lmfao)