#anyway um. i went a little batshit crazy

[mengyan]

and what does it mean to be fated? is it something only a rock can dictate, as it spits out names side by side that aren’t both of yours? or does it mean to choose, and choose, and choose again? to find each other as mortals, as shadows, as a little fox and a former emperor in the cracks of light and the darkest corners?

you are dong hua-dijun, and you are not supposed to care. you are a symbol of peace, the pillar that holds up the skies. you are why the realms are still standing. worldly affairs do not concern you, but she is not a worldly affair; she is the world itself. you can let go of everything else but her. she is your lover, your partner, your empress, your wife, your equal. death cannot split you into two, not when she is half of your heart already. you would give her all of it if only she would take it, but she wants you to keep it. she teaches you to keep things for yourself, and that there is so much more to living than giving yourself up for other people. you would live for her and die for her. you want to live with her and die with her. you cannot afford to want anything, but for her, you want everything.

you are bai fengjiu, and you care too much. you met him in scriptures, in the brush portraits that you’d painted based on conjecture and histories you never witnessed. and then he saves you and he is so much more beautiful than brushstrokes could ever hope to capture. you are born and raised in qingqiu, after all, so you must return his kindness. you sneak into his palace and he takes your breath away. nine-tailed foxes only love once. you don’t make yourself visible in front of him, afraid of just how loud your heart will beat if you place it in his hands. you become his biggest trial. you’re coughing up blood but his mouth tastes sweet against yours and you cannot help but love him and love him and love him. it’s all you know how to do. you can’t stop. you jump off the cliff. he reaches for you and you look away. and there is so much he doesn’t understand, and so much you don’t either. you can’t stay away from him. it’s his turn to chase you and you make wishes, and you make foolish requests, and you think, wildly, that maybe this isn’t a dream. maybe you can have a happy ending. you want him to be the spine to your storybook, to be your end and your beginning. you will wrangle fate with your fists and your blade and cut it through until your red strings are knotted together. his flesh and blood sits on your finger. your flesh and blood sits on his lap, with silver hair that mirrors his and a sunny smile that mirrors yours.

it’s been a long journey getting here, but your forever will be far longer.

eternal love of dream really said even my shadow would recognize yours and fall in love with it. losing you was never ending winter. take my heart and wear it on your finger. who cares about fate when we are holding hands at the end of all things.

[larvaem1lk]

talk too much

ellie williams x reader

🦋 ok so. this is kinda a little bit based off of me because when i’m around someone i really like i will talk their head off & just be annoying overall LOL. anyway, just reader being a lil too talkative while ellie’s trying to work ! but at the end she just gives in bc she loves her gf duhh

🦋 um no warnings !! thanks for reading :-*

(also sorry if ur name is miranda, kristy or ashlin. i just picked names off the top of my head whoops)

ellie’s sat at her desk typing on her computer, with a textbook open and desktop lamp casting a soft golden yellow across the thick pages. you’re in a chair beside her, the type with wheels that roll around, chatting and giggling about nonsense. you’re chirpy and awfully energetic being that it was midnight.

since you hadn’t seen your favorite green eyed girl all day, you walked in her dorm worried and confused. though the feeling quickly subsided as you saw her slumped over her desk, eyes glued to the large book in front of her.

greeting her with a quick peck to the cheek, you immediately plopped down on her bed and began rambling about your day, your girlfriend being the perfect person to tell all your thoughts to.

that was about three hours ago, and you were still here, talking and flying through the clouds in your own little world, practically annoying ellie at this point.

you were filling her in on the drama now, but ellie was too busy absorbing information about stars and celestial bodies and the universe. she’d give the occasional ‘mhm’, or ‘oh okay…’ in attempts to seem interested, yet her efforts went unnoticed.

“yeah like i was saying, i just can’t believe that miranda found kristy and ashlin in the bathroom…together? i mean it’s kristina, stuck up and bitchy kristina who i’m sure was straight. that girl—yeah. but then it’s like, i don’t understand what position they’d have to be in for both of them to be on the wall… you know? i dunno! shits crazy, el. like batshit fucking mad. utterly ridiculous. off the charts. luludelulu. like-” you giggle, finding the words coming out your mouth silly and slightly embarrassing.

ellie blows a stale laugh through her nose, hoping that’d satisfy you as she was completely lost in whatever you were talking about. something about girls on girls, but she wasn’t interested. if it didn’t relate to you on top of her, or vice versa, she didn’t care.

she nibbled on her bottom lip as her eyes scanned over the tiny words of the textbook, brows furrowing as she was in deep thought. though she couldn't really focus due to the sound of a pen clicking nonstop. she gives you a glance and mumbles, “you have any work to do babe?” the sound quite literally driving her insane.

you tap the pen on the table now, pretending to draw love hearts around ellie’s name. “mmm, no. i don’t know. i just wanna be with you right now,”

“hm, okay.” ellie widens her eyes while letting a sigh slip out. this was going to be a loonngg night.

you twirl around in the chair for a while, humming a melody before another topic comes to mind. ellie doesn’t even say anything, pleased that you moved on from the pen to humming.

“anyway. i’ve been thinking…” you trail off, eyes meeting the ceiling as you tilted your head to the side in wonder. ellie hums flatly, lifting her head to the computer screen as she begins typing.

“…when we get married one day,” you begin, and ellie hums with more interest in her voice. okay, you were talking about marriage now. not between kristy and ashlin, but you and her. see, she was paying attention.

“y’think it would be on the beach? or, i dunno. maybe… like homey, set up in our cute backyard, once we get a house of course—with like, dina and jesse and joel and my people. just family. oh! oh my gosh! yeah it should definitely be in our backyard. that’s so cute. that’s cute, right el?”

“totally.” ellie agreed, leaning forward to squint through the white noise of the computer.

you chuckle at the monotone of her voice, wheeling forward to get a closer look at her. “totally, she said. when has ellie williams ever said totally?”

“now.” she responds, and somehow her comment is even funnier. you swing your feet back and forth, babbling on.

“ooh, what about las vegas? you know we’ll be eating good. like, good ellie. i think gordon ramsay has a restaurant there. or what if we get married in paris!” you practically squeal, scooting closer to your girlfriend.

you’re only quiet for a few seconds, eyes flitting over her scattered desk before another idea comes to mind. “oh, the eiffel tower… wait! wait.” you place a hand on her shoulder, fingers tapping against the soft material of her hoodie as you try to gather your thoughts.

there’s a brief moment of silence, and ellie’s mind feels calmer. cooler. she exhales a small slip of breath, letting her fingers type efficiently against the keys. besides that, the dorm is quiet. she could even hear the crickets outside chirping. finally. ellie thinks.

don’t get her wrong, she loved your rambles. your rants. your voice in general. but right now she was in work mode, 76% immersed in the material as the other 24% was for you.

that number was slowly ticking down with each second longer you stayed quiet, her completely focused on studying and only studying. she’s glad you took a break though. allowing your voice to rest, taking a moment to soak in the stillness—

“oh my fucking gosh! italy! we should get married in italy!”

nevermind.

ellie flinches. she flinches so hard that a cramp forms in her neck, squeezing and throbbing with a heat that burns through her upper back. “fuck,” she curses under her breath, rubbing at the spot. it’s like a tiny ringing appears in her ears at the sound of your voice; you’re babbling now, eyes wide as you shake ellie’s shoulder in excitement.

she lets you shake her as she tries to turn to you, tense and cautious of your next possible outburst.

“baby,” she says in an attempt to calm you, but you don’t hear her. obviously. too busy arranging wedding plans in your head.

“just—imagine the love, the romance. oh ellie, i really think we should do it! we’re gonna have to fly everyone out, and—ohhh the food…”

she smiles, feeling her heart swell against her chest. you were the cutest thing. oh, she was being such a dick. just let your girl ramble about wedding plans ellie, is your studying really that important?

yes. it was. so important in that all of the knowledge she had consumed tonight was to be used for a huge exam tomorrow that she could not fail. she couldn't fail. i can’t fail it.

but look at you, with your big bright smile, and your pretty sparkly eyes. the way you’re so excited about marrying her makes her wanna kiss you. kiss you. oh shit, that’s it.

“oh my gosh ellie, the food. would it be stupid to serve pizza? ‘cause y’know, some people don’t like pasta. but we’re in italy, and it’s literally… so like…everyone loves pizza! ugh, what should we serve?! and who the fuck doesn’t like pasta? hey, d’yknow if dina or joel—”

you’re cut off when her lips meet yours abruptly, both of her hands grab each side of your face to pull you closer. the kiss doesn’t deepen. it doesn’t escalate. your lips are just pressed to hers for a very, long time.

you try to wiggle free but ellie doesn’t let go. your lips smush together when you try to talk, and ellie sighs internally. the only thing you had done all night was talk, talk, talk. ellie didn’t wanna be mean, but damn, what else did you have to say?

she pulls away with an agitated groan, and you try to catch your breath while licking your lips.

“wha—what was that for? i was talking—”

“yeah, babe. you were talking. give it a rest, alright? geez,” she shakes her head and sighs out a breathy laugh before turning back over to her computer. “i can’t focus with you in my ear like that.” she mutters, not realizing that she’d just stabbed a knife through your heart.

you’re quiet, cheeks burning in embarrassment. you bounce your leg as you stare at the side of her face before looking at her computer, a wave of sadness creeping over you.

a few minutes pass, and it’s still quiet. too quiet. your mind is still whirring and picturing the perfect wedding for you and your girlfriend, and all you wanna do is talk about it. talk, talk, talk.

you bite your lip to prevent any sudden outbursts or peeps that might irritate ellie. you fiddle with your hands in your lap, and when ellie glances over to your pitiful frame, she frowns.

okay… shit. maybe i kinda fucked up. lemme see what’s wrong.

she types out the final words of her sentence before turning to face you, tilting her head to see your facial expression as your head is hung low.

“hey, babe,” she whispers, and you lift your head with a sigh.

“hm.” is all you say, your spark dimmed and nearing burnout.

ellie places a hand on your knee. her hand is cold and rough, which makes a ding go off in your mind.

“you know they say cold hands mean a warm heart.” you mumble, eyes shifting down to your fingers to continue fiddling with them. you had to let it slip it out, whether she liked it or not. you were sure after this that you’d keep your responses to a minimum, though.

ellie chuckles. you were always the type to say little phrases like that. “yeah? who’s they? ‘cause i dunno if that’s really true—”

“it is true! and don’t ask me. that’s what they always say… and it’s really true, because your—” you cut yourself off, a faint smile on your lips, but it soon falls once you realize you were supposed to be giving the almost silent treatment.

“…well? i’m intrigued now. you can’t just leave me hangin’ like that y’know.”

“ellie… i’ll tell you later.”

“later? why not now?”

you shrug, and ellie scoffs.

“hey, don’t be like that, i wanna know!” she nudges your arm with a smile, trying to pick up your mood. your facial expression remains, unamused.

“okay,” ellie sits up straighter and faces her desk to slam her computer, her book right after. that gets your attention, your head whipping up in confusion. she turns back to you, intent on giving you her undivided attention.

“alright. talk to me.”

you groan, trying to refrain from smiling. “ellie, i can’t-”

“you can.”

“but i was being really rude while you were working, and then you told me to basically shut up so i—“

ellie feels regret bubble in the pit of her chest, sizzling and erupting into her veins. she felt hot now. guilty.

damn, i really fucked up. “babe, i-i didn’t…” she pauses as she slides a hand down her face. “i didn’t tell you to shut up. not... in that way. i was just, a little overwhelmed, that’s all. i’m sorry, okay? truly. you know i love it when you talk to me. so… c’mon. lemme hear that pretty voice of yours.”

you feel bashful, eyelashes fluttering as your gaze meets the floor. you wanna give in, you really want to… but you quickly shake your head, no. she’s gotta finish her work. “but… you need to work, el. i told you i’ll just tell you later.”

her brows furrow, “uh, what work? right now is dedicated to me and my girl.” her green eyes shimmer a silver in the glow of the lamplight as she searches your face, and you feel shy under her gaze, your heart beating a little bit faster. you sigh quietly, a grin finding itself on your lips. “you sure?”

ellie shrugs. “of course. tell me allll about it.” she rests her elbow on her desk while leaning her head in her hand. 

“okay.” you beam, starting another one of your rambles. ellie can’t help but stare at you in awe.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s7e8 time for a wedding! (w. andrew dabb, daniel loflin)

i read a summary of all the becky episodes after seeing the first one. had some feelings (derogatory) about previous episodes. i was dreading this one

okay i got a question about "guano". every time they use this word i have to do a little mental lookup. is there a region in the US that uses guano regularly for going batshit/insane etc? i haven't lived everywhere but i have lived in the southwest, west, upper midwest, miami (lol it's its own region) and new england. and i don't remember ever hearing it said by anyone. john was in the military, was it something from him? anyway. stalling!

WAITRESS Yeah, okay. You came in here looking like somebody shot your puppy. DEAN Well, things are looking up now that your shift's over. All right. Uh, here's the deal. I have this friend. He's got this younger brother. Right? Cannon's a little loose. You know, his reactor blew a while back. It's not good. Um... My friend – he's, uh... He's kind of been sitting, waiting to see if he goes guano again. WAITRESS And I assume it just hit the fan? DEAN Well, that's the thing. It didn't. The kid's all reasonable now, considering he's crazy. Well, he's – I mean, he's not crazy. He – he's starting to seem like things might be getting a little better. WAITRESS Well, that's a good thing, right? DEAN It's a freakin' miracle. Except... when it happens during their, uh... their sacred annual pilgrimage to Vegas... and he goes off on some granola-munching hike in the desert by himself.

WAITRESS Well, maybe he just needs some time alone. DEAN Yeah. WAITRESS We all need to face ourselves sometime. DEAN Maybe he does. WAITRESS Wasn't talking about him. DEAN Speak of the devil. He's four blocks away? WAITRESS See? Baby bro needs you after all.

(of course, forever and ever amen.) when a stranger can diagnose and therapize you in 60 seconds flat. what a lot of backstory and happenings got dumped in that conversation. a yearly vacation, sam bailing to go vacation alone in the wilderness.

the way his hair is falling it looks like the mutant sideburns suddenly gained a lot ground 😂 (stalling)

how does his hair look so different every episode?

okay, leslie odom jr. i know the name, i've never seen/or listened to hamilton but i gather that's what he's known for? (i love music but don't vibe with musicals generally) i did watch smash though and he was in that, and the second knives out movie. shame he got stuck in this episode.

smash s2e1 on broadway - leslie odom jr as sam strickland

ok extra dumb murder of the week. splatting a dude's face with the baseball pitching machine

(live reaction)

SAM You know, I went after her, Dean. Maybe that's what's bugging you – that I'm moving on with my life. I mean, you took care of me, and that's great. But I don't need you anymore.

having an actress that's about the same age as dean play becky, and having her act so juvenile... it's just all bad and insulting and weird. and then adding in the inherent joke she is about fans... will i save the noncon rant for later? ha ha she raped him too right? heavy sigh

cannot figure out what i know him from. maybe the core?? but also he was a one-off in episodes of a lot of shows i've seen and he has such a distinctive face, i think it might be one of those i think is more familiar but really isn't. also maybe the movie roadtrip? which is so very much not my kind of movie but i definitely have seen it.

having garth be incompetent as a hunter is... again, a choice.

the core (2003) dj qualls as rat

now they tell us there was no sex. see it's funny, guys! just the drugging and the concussion and the tying up and gagging.

GUY Yes! And I'm very protective of my ass. It's one of my best features.

he's so charming in this part. say again it's a shame he got stuck in this episode

you know. it's not just the writing and the styling of becky. but the way she plays her... it's like every moment she's just making fun of a certain type of person.

crowley, sight for sore eyes

SAM Becky, look. You're not a loser, okay? You're a good person, a-and you've got… a lot of… e-energy. So, you know, just do your thing, whatever that is, and the right guy will find you.

no. *gets out the squirt bottle*

was this all just to have some goofy bonding experience to mend things after The Incident with the stabbing and the lying (mutton chop status 66%)

SAM Look, man, uh... When I was all dosed up, I-I said some crap. DEAN Oh, you mean, she – she wasn't your soulmate?

no, because dean is sam's soulmate duh. lol this show. sometimes i'll just be sitting here and think "canonical soulmates" and boggle all over again

SAM Shut up. I mean, I do need you watching my back. Obviously. DEAN Yeah, when, uh, crazy groupies attack.

DEAN I'm just saying. It's stupid to think that you need me around all the time. You're a grown-up. SAM Right.

SAM I mean, you basically have been looking out for me your whole life. Now you finally get to take care of yourself. About time, huh? DEAN Yeah. DEAN Right.

haha this is like, straight out of fic. both of them "ha ha you don't need me anymore :D" and they're both😟

made it through. they really like to shove good brother content into bad episodes, like Bugs.

[kfeinf-29jcdei]

I figured out a thing and now I just feel like dora the explorer. No real accomplishment but my own dance with my own backpack THAT I MADE DANCE WITH ME and a fox who steals enough to have a felony. Congratulations, you sing your own songs now too. No help unless we click on your destination for you. Kinda racist, isn't it? Why can't she have a friend with no criminal activity regularly and one more friend that's a person or animal and not her own possessions. YIKES that's evil. That's an only child too, man she's gotta have a shitty home life where is her mother and shit?

Anyway. It's a weird thing I had to like look up the entirety without finishing or going too far into detail to preserve time, world war 2 and then the cold war a little bit. I had no idea Stalin was so horrible he just killed anyone even like the men he used to kill like he wasn't even Hitler, he just gave less than the fucks Hitler had from his drugs and shit. That's my personal opinion people are BAT SHIT on a mission with continuous use of less than he did regularly or can be anyway. So, how is it Christianity and THE VATICAN BEING PUT AWAY ALONE AS A LITERAL LIKE SEPARATE ENTITY. OUT OF COUNTRY ANYONE OF THEM. JUST A FUCKING. ONLY. A. RELIGIOUS. ENTITY.

THOSE CREEPY CREEPS DID STUFF BACK THEN AND LEMME TELL YOU. I know a person who knows how those people operate with like secret secrets secretly hidden in the place that was forgotten by God and remembered by a dead guy who personally knew Jesus. Just by not talking about it. Over time, yes, they're men who wanted their way. With what he told me, I went hold on Stalin separated the Vatican and all. So LOOK AT US. MURICA, MAKE THEM BABIES CUZ POOR PEOPLE HAVE BEEN POOR OVER AND OVER WOOHOO THE RIGHT KIND OF (this is too inflammatory and opinionated but I think most minorities) THAT DIDN'T HAVE A VICTUM MIND SET MY DADDY DON'T LIKE ARE RAISIN BABIES AND FUCKIN LIKE RABBITS YEEEEEHOOOOO.

Like....if it made no sense to keep demonizing the people who aren't like so called church approved gay trans native what have you, why not figure out what God says? NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON HAS BEEN TOLD BY GOD GAYS TRANSGENDERS AND ALL THE REST aren't accepted at the human level. When is it anywhere? I mean, I always hoped and wished I'd see this in person. Because "Wait, you didn't hear the good news about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?" Virgin birth or not, um he ended a lot of people's involvement with Judaism IDC if he was human or an immortal being whatever. They listened to him teach and preserved the message.

Here's what I was made to understand, personally. sodom and gomorrah, the wrath of the divine being we know as God wasn't men having sex with adult men. Men who were raised into homophobic lives went batshit crazy, and it was normal to have children work and what not. Guess what happened? They were somehow (the ones committing pedophilia of course) being overcome with the whatever it is that causes men to rape as a result of a power trip. Then they went well this is a small human, and I have this now and it's better than what they did have or could have. Children in sexual servitude? Oh level the city to the ground and turn who looks at it into useless BS that has no value and won't even stay standing. So how did we get away from that? Idk the Catholics have the methods of prayer the most spot on of them and Christianity idk about Judaism at all. The rest are close in their own ways, but ITS OLD MEN KEEPIN OLD MENS SECRETS AND THEY MIGHT NOT KNOW. THEY PROBABLY BELIEVE REALLY REALLY HARD IN STUFF.

If there's a God just fucking put whatever telepathy everyone found out about in all the nationalism funded research that all of the big countries I believe had something of. We had MK ultra! We still have shit tons of regular people just regular ole people who can do that shit just once in a while boom I did this drug I see you and sucks cause I'm getting all that info out somewhere. God bless who has the ability to communicate it. IM PRAYING FOR THE GROUP OF LITERAL PSYCHOPATHIC DEAD MENS BULLSHIT COMING OFF OF THE RELATIONSHIP THAT THE WORLD HAS WITH RELIGION. I know America is big and loud with these abortion restrictions. If I get pregnant fuck it idgaf who it was he fucking raped me, and I was going through torture. Jail time? Good, keep me with their dicks in jail instead anyway. Look at my logic there, with a few people on my side out loud I'd have instant ignorant support. If women literally just got the ability to restrict access to sexual intercourse like as a sudden attack we could mind fucks them into their own hell or prison after prison.

Maybe if religious bullshit is talked about....maybe this will have nothing to hurt the perpetuating politicians and officials and the whole supreme court at least who went yeah we can do this evil thing...dun dun, or just a little. Let it fizzle out and give up or till the bitter endz make history and be remembered as a random power money and more power hungry asshole with no repercussions or accountability. We will see! Oh, it only keeps going the way you want so long. We get away with a lot with our own people from any government level. It's like a unintentional motivation I think. They're gonna have these people either missing from history or another "THIS WAS ALMOST ANOTHER SLAVERY. FOR A LITTLE BIT IT WAS. LOOK AT THE AFFECTED PEOPLE! SHAME SHAME SHAME DONT SPEAK THEIR NAMES OUT LOUD EW."

I can only repeat it so many times. Maybe God will help, never know. Good big giant clear cut in all languages maybe even sign anyone and anything can see and go "oh good people are all people." Could happen. It'd be cool without the prophet going through the whole entire Bible type thing. I mean why was all of the old testament like....Noah had something to do with Jesus right? I don't remember. What was that? Why? It was a sadists story. God did a thing he never does too like wow ok, kill the girl children, you didn't! Good, I was wrong. UM NO. God made all the breathing things and the plants. No capacity for it. Who else was in there talking? Wtf? They didn't even keep a dinosaur that was small. So we have no mention anyhow. Like I have more opinions but they're too much of a thing you wanna stab a bigger version of church.

Also, if witchcraft is not good what are the Catholics doing on TV? Look up Norse pagans, find the deity Freya okay. Animals, she loves the animals it's tame and you can't deny it! Find me a simple little bit of a cleansing routine with one. Thing. To. Cleanse. With. Compare it to all the smoking shit and the hand motions and the oils and all of it. Sir, you're wearing stuff women were burned for dancing in around fire in Salem and doing LESS. What. Is. This. Shit.

[roses-ruby]

Come home to me...Darling

Jimin x Female Reader (+ Jungkook & Mystery Member)

Ao3 Link

Part 2 of 2 (Part 1)

Genre: Cheating!AU, angst, smut (masturbation and fingering, both female), fluff

Warnings: Masturbation, Fingering, Infidelity, Cursing, Sad, Low self esteem, Mentions of a panic attack, Jimin’s a jerk :(

Word Count: 29,555

Summary: Jimin cheats and you try to make him stay. But whatever you do, it’s never enough.

Tag: @some-random-stranger-007​

A/N: it is finally out now I can go yeet myself into the lake of fire never to return. Can you believe i almost lost this? ahahahaha the level of clownery. Anyway I hate it, so let me know what you think of it. Thank you to @meuurtrierr​ it wouldn’t be possible without her. Edited but I know I missed some shit, also I skimped on the warnings cuz i dont remember what else skskssk do let me know babes mwah Enjoy!

Mondays are the worst.

It’s not enough that you needed to skim through the employee evaluation files in the next 2 hours, but a grueling headache had somehow found a way to attach itself into your brain. Even blinking was painful. You weren’t able to do anything but stare at your desk with little to no energy present in your build. There was a dull lull in the room, and you felt suffocated in your stuffy office. When one of the open file’s papers flutters in front of you is when you manage to snap out of dreamland. Peeking at the desk right outside your office, you let out a sigh of relief at finding the space empty. Finally, you could get up and do something about this headache as well as pour some caffeine into your body.

Usually Yura would gleefully grab it for you, but you felt awkward around her since that day and hadn’t asked anything of her since. It was a bit silly, you don’t know why you were avoiding her exactly. Most likely it was due to not trying out her therapist suggestion yet. But it wasn’t like she was forcing you and it also wasn’t that you didn’t want to go…you were just unsure. You were scared. An unfamiliar person, poking and prodding at you – at your life. Finding and pulling out all the faults in you like weed. Judging you. Your habit of overthinking had already made you fit irrational scenarios inside your head of your ‘sessions’ and how awful they would end up being.

This irrationality also embarrassed you and led you into avoiding Yura.

In a nimble pace, you quickly make your way into the center office filled with cubicles. From there you speedily step your way into the breakroom. Thankfully, it was also empty. It wasn’t like coming here wasn’t unusual for you – you had been in here before you were promoted, albeit just a bit. You weren’t the most extroverted person, and people seemed to always be creating some forms of conversation in here. Which scared you into staying in your cubicle until certain timestamps where you found it vacant. Sighing, you walk to the coffee maker in the corner of the room to find it barren, and you heave a groan as you gather your ingredients for coffee. You didn’t want to stay here in case of running into someone, but life was making everything harder for you as usual. Watching as the coffee hits the pot in the coffee maker, you think back to last night.  

Jimin never made it back home throughout that whole day. That had become a usual occurrence, but it really hit you hard this time because you were aching to sort things out after the clash you both faced. There was a restless ache in your stomach, which you’re sure was the cause in you turning sick today. Last night you had caught the exact moment Jimin figured out that you knew about him and her, his aura completely morphing into something between docile and tense. After he left, you couldn’t sleep for hours, tossing and turning and just waiting for him to come home. The scene kept replaying in your mind and you kept analyzing certain aspects, wishing you had said something better or acted in a compromising manner rather than driving him away. But then he never showed up and you were too afraid to call him back to you. If you went to voicemail yet again, you felt you would go insane.

Though you pondered where he was with exhausted efforts, a dreadful thought told you that you already knew, you just didn’t want to accept it. You hoped it wasn’t true. That he wouldn’t be with Tina – not after last night. Maybe…he was crashing at Jin’s place? …Wait, why didn’t you think of him sooner? Jin, his best friend since he moved to the city, would know where he is! Friends are considered confidantes, aren’t they? It wouldn’t hurt to inquire s few things from Jin, he was always a sweet man. But you didn’t want to force Jimin back to you or anything of the sort, you just wanted to know if he was ok. Hopefully he’ll realize how much you need him, hopefully he’ll come back home to you on his own accord. You were going to give him some time to think, then he’ll surely be back by that day, right?

Hopefully.

As you pour the coffee into your mug, the door creeks open and a citrusy cologne fills the air which pulls you out of your thoughts as you stiffen. Great. Carefully, you turn to see the culprit to be a tall man yawning loudly and stretching his arms while walking towards you. It alarms you that he’s moving straight at you without even realizing, but you don’t make an effort to move. Which ends up with him crashing into you slightly-

“Oh, whoa,” He says as his eyes fly open and he holds onto the small of your back with his warm hand, “Sorry about that, didn’t notice anyone was here!”

No kidding.

Now that he wasn’t scrunching up his expression, you could properly take in his appearance. He had such a soft and youthful face, big doe eyes that seemed to be lit with stars. Everything about him was so round, his nose, his cheeks, his small mouth. Jet black hair covered his forehead and compared to his boyish features, the muscles protruding from his white button up were anything but soft. You felt bad for his shirt, which was straining to hold itself together. There was a small scar on his left cheek, yet another mark amplifying his young features. He seemed to be observing you as well, his eyes a tad bit larger and his hand still on your back.

You clear your throat and straighten your back, looking away from him to the floor.

Breaking out of his daze he retracts his hand immediately, “Oh, sorry!”

That’s when he notices the mug in your hand, then turning to the coffee maker he beams,

“Hey, did you make a fresh brew? That’s awesome, Thanks!”

“It’s no problem.” You say in a small voice

At the moment you desired no conversation with anyone. It felt as if once the tiniest amount of sympathy is thrown in your direction, you become a puddle of pudding into the persons hand. Instead, what you really wanted to do was to stop feeling so weak. Stop relying on them to hold you together, because people leave. Jimin left. Left you to melt into the ground without looking back.  

Right now, you just wanted to be left alone.

But the boy in front of you did not seem to be good at detecting facial cues.  

“Umm…do you work here?” He asks you, and you give him a confused look, “I-I mean, I’ve never seen you around…but it must be because I just started here last week, I’m a new recruit.”

Yura mentioned something about that, but you never actually got a chance to look through the profiles since the Jimin fiasco.

“Is that it?” He asks again, “Are you a new recruit as well?”

“Um...” You wondered how to properly tell the boy that you were his boss. The reason he hasn’t seen you before is because you rarely come out of your office. Unless there’s a big meeting.

“Then you must’ve started today, huh?” He says, a smile on his face displaying his teeth…his bunny teeth. Adorable. “We’re in the same boat then! If you ever need anything, just let me know!”

The expression on him was so pleased, you didn’t have the heart to decline. Didn’t have the heart to walk away or disregard him. So, you just stood there as he introduced himself.

“My name’s Jungkook by the way.”

“_-___.” You respond shyly

“___,” He repeats to himself, scratching the back of his head, “That’s a beautiful name.” He gives you a look that has you blushing as you mumble out a ‘thank you.’  

It was so natural then.

You don’t know how it happened, but you were suddenly thrown into a conversation with your company’s most enthusiastic employee, Jeon Jungkook. At first, you were worried a bit by how young he looks, yet it turned out he was only two years younger than you – and he refused to believe you were older, the brat. He stood there explaining how things work around the office, telling you tall tales about some of the ‘haunted’ conference rooms and scary coworkers to which you were enthralled by, despite being here way longer than him. You found yourself giggling every time he exaggerated a story with his words or eyes.

“So ___, how do you like it here so far?”

“It’s nice,” You respond vaguely, taking another sip of your coffee, “How about you?”

“They really work you to the bone! But I like it, they’re fair with the salary and the donuts here are always so good.” Jungkook beams widely while reaching over to grab one of the chocolate glazed donuts off from the small white box next to the coffee maker.

“Heard the CEO’s batshit though” He says with a mouthful

At that you let out a snort – almost spilling some of your coffee from your mouth, which leads you into covering it with your hand and coughing. It was true, she was a little strange.

“Oops.” Jungkook responds with a mischievous glint in his eye. In return you squint your eyes at him in mock anger as you let out your last cough. He reaches over again and grabs another donut from the box. You wish he would stop doing that, his arm radiated a lot of heat and you were going crazy trying to ignore his scent. Pulling out a second donut, this one with pink frosting and dark red glaze decorated in a zig-zag pattern, he hands it out to you.

“Here,” He says with his bunny teeth displayed.

You give it a long stare before taking it, “Thank you.”

“It’s a peace offering.”

“I see.” You eye the sugary dough and the colorful star sprinkles sticking into the frosting, “Interesting choice.”

“It’s cause that one was pretty.” He pouts

“You gave me a donut because you found it pretty?” You raise an eyebrow at him

Scoffing at your tone, he leans into the countertop and fold his arms, displaying his biceps up in your face. Damn those arms. “And what about it.”

“Nothing,” you giggle, “Just that normal people would give pretty flowers or pretty letters and not…fried dough.”

Jungkook turns silent at that, turning his face toward the ceiling as if in thought. He was making an odd expression, one with his eyebrows drawn in and lips pulled straight, you wondered if this was normally how his face was while thinking. It was kind of funny. But also, very cute.

“You’re right.” He suddenly says

“Hmm?”

“I should get you flowers.”

“…And where would you find flowers in an industrial urban structure?”

To this he removes himself off the counter and turns to you, his height and muscles intimidated you a bit. He was definitely taller than Jimin. “Is that a challenge?”

“Maybe it is.” You say in a low voice, maintaining direct eye contact

“Alright then ___, we may be new here (you internally cringe as he says this) but I bet you I can find you some pretty flowers lurking about in this stale glass cube of a building.”

You laugh at how serious he got – the fiery glint in his eyes, and raise out a hand, “And I bet you won’t!”

Being here three years had taught you quite a lot about this location. The lower floors contained a computer enterprise, and the upper floors remained a basic accounting firm. Grass surrounding the building was patchy and dry thanks to the summer heat. Also, your CEO had a strict pollen allergy, so keeping things like vases to fill with freshly cut daisies in or around the residence was impossible. There was no way he would was going to find any flowers here. It was a bit sad how much you knew about this place, being the only other dwelling you hung out in other than your home. But on the bright side, you were totally gonna win this bet.

“What do I get if I win?” You question as he shakes your hand. Heat immediately shoots down your spine at his touch and you block yourself from shivering by clenching your teeth…he had a very firm grip.

“I’ll be your servant for a week.” He pipes making you raise your brows as you shape your mouth into an ‘o.’ “And what If I win?”

“Hmm…” You hadn’t thought of that because you didn’t think there was any way he could.

“How about if I win, I get your number?”

…

Huh?

Tilting your head, you scrunch your brows. “…Why would you want my number?”  

That confused you.

He gave you a wide eye stare. Did you really just say that? Perhaps you were playing hard to get? Yes…that must be it. No need to feel embarrassed. She didn’t reject you he thinks abashed. While you on the other hand were clueless to his fretful appearance.

“…Um.” Jungkook clears his throat looking down at his shoes. Wait…were Timblands allowed in the uniform? “Just cause.” He mumbles

You dwell on it for a second. You’ve never gave your number to a guy before. It can’t hurt, right? Besides he wasn’t going to win anyway.

“Well, alright.”

He grins at your approval, and you giggle in return. Was he the cutest man, or what?

“You know…you’re very pretty when you laugh.” He says abruptly and that makes you completely drop your mouth. His face flushes and that’s when you notice he still had your hand in his. The sudden awareness makes you pull it back at lightning speed. You try to speak again, but somehow the sound was knocked out of you and the room feels very, very, very, very warm for some reason.  

“I- I should prob-” You point over your shoulder, slowly backing away from the doe-eyed man. “I have work.”

“A-alright…” He scratches the back of his head again. A habit you suppose. “See you around.”

“Yes.” Was the last thing you said before practically sprinting out of the breakroom.

You don’t know how long you spent chatting with Jungkook, but you came back to your office on sore legs. Sitting down on the revolving chair, you spin around a bit feeling bizarrely giddy inside, headache completely forgotten and newly revitalized. As you remember his red cheeks you pull up your arms in front of you. Chills…you had chills. What. Was. That.

Even though your legs hurt from standing, you don’t regret it one bit.  

That was…strange. Never had you been one for conversations, especially not with the other sex. Your husband didn’t seem to like it when you were chatting with another man, so you never tried to. Yet Jungkook…why did you enjoy being around him so much?  

It felt like you were back in high school, talking with the class president you had a huge crush on. Or like the guy from 5th grade who gave you a band aid. And even when you first met Jimin. You’re not sure, but you do know this is the first time in years where you became so smitten with someone so quickly. Jungkook was like a breath of fresh air, you really liked him.

Wait, what?

As soon as you process the weight of your thoughts, you immediately sit up in your chair. No, you couldn’t just have thought of such, right?

You…you were a married woman! Holding up your hand, you stare at your wedding ring while guilt crawls up your spine. This wasn’t right, you shouldn’t be doing this your conscious spoke. Not when your married life was in shambles. Is this who you were? Though, when you really think about it, it wasn’t like you did anything, you were just talking. So why did you feel so bad? Bringing your hand to your chest, you hold onto your ring finger with your other hand and close your eyes. Jimin appears before you, a light smile on his handsome face.

Your heart clenches.

“-ght.”

Just then, you register someone’s voice outside your office, breaking you from your daze. You stiffen, recognizing the soft laughter of your beloved secretary. She must have returned from her lunch break.

These days you had begun to pay Yura special attention.  

It was due to her confession, knowing that she dealt with so much but still managed to be happy – genuinely happy – made you feel…curious. You wanted to understand how she did it, how she managed to deal with life in a better way. And then maybe, just maybe, you could do it too.

Yes, that should be a rational clarification of why you were creeping up to the entrance like a stalker. Calmly stepping up to the see-through door, you hide behind the solid wall to the right of it, peeping your head out to spot Yura. You honestly don’t know what you were wanting to accomplish, but you had been getting yourself involved in a lot of strange situations recently, so it was better not to question it.

She had her back facing you, thankfully, or this would have been even more embarrassing. You stretch your neck out as much as you could, feet planted firmly on the hidden side of the wall. Watching as she stood beyond her desk casually, her phone to her ear while she conversed gently with someone on the other line.

“I’ll pick up some Chinese tonight- no not that one I hate it!” She laughed. “Seriously babe we’ve had that four nights in a row now…okay, okay we had tempura for a whole month because of me I know that!”

It was easy to tell she was talking to her boyfriend. It was just general, everyday stuff but you couldn’t help but feel envious. Yura sounded so content, her boyfriend sounded like he loved her. That was all you’ve ever wanted. How come you’ve never had that?

A grimace falls upon your face. Just what were you doing trying to spy on your secretary? When did you become so pathetic? There was no secret, and if there was, she has told you of it already. The truth was, you were stubborn, unwilling to change from the old ways as if your conservatism has ever been of any help to you. With a silent sigh, you were about to walk back to your desk when you heard him tell her ‘I love you.’  

In return she giggled, “I know~ See you tonight!”

You stood there stagnant for a bit. After a moment, you smiled, although there was no sign of joy on your face. Really…you were really pathetic.

Once you were at your desk, you eye your bag on the side of your chair’s leg before you pick it up, digging through it until you find what you were searching for. The piece of paper with the number was still in the same state as when she first gave it to you. Albeit crumpled. wouldn’t it have been hard for her to gather up the courage to say something you, her boss, could wrongly take offense over? Which you almost did. You respect her courage, her dedication and determination. When she first joined, you thought she was like you.

You were wrong.

She was stronger than you had ever been.

And instead of dwelling in that bitter pool of jealously you’ve drowned in with so many other women, you respected her. You wanted to learn from her and Irene and any woman in your life that had fought their battles with determination. It was like you said before, you had been getting yourself into strange circumstances lately, so why not this too? Who was here to stop you? Who was here to feel pity for you?

All you wanted was to be happy once again. Just once more.  

You owed it to yourself

Tick…tock…tick…tock…

You sat at the edge of your red seat with your palms holding onto your knees. Uneasiness found a way to penetrate your bones and you sensed a thin layer of perspiration on your hairline as you watch the clock ticking down until your dreaded deadline.

There was a lady situated underneath the clock, an elder woman by maybe a decade. She had soft wrinkles around her eyes and forehead, a bun high on top her head and bright red lipstick on her thin lips. Clacking away at her key board, she would occasionally furrow her brows in concentration at something she was looking at on her computer screen or smile at you if you made eye contact. Didn’t do much to ease your nerves but it still felt nice. The lady reminded you of yourself, and you speculate if this is how people saw you when you were at work.

It had been a couple of days until you managed to call an appointment for a therapy session. The isolation ate away at you after Jimin had been missing for the third day. You desperately wanted to talk to someone about your problems, but Irene was out of town, your husband absent, and you were too shy to seek out Yoongi. Instead of pushing your complications onto others, you thought it was finally time to call in some professional effort. The lady on the phone had been really nice and you were able to set an appointment up fairly quickly. Now you were just sitting here, in the monotone lounge area waiting for the therapist to arrive.

There was quite a bit of research you did beforehand. Turns out, different therapists professionalize different problems. Cognitive therapist help deal with bad thoughts and unclutter daily habits. Family-oriented systems therapist dealt with family related issues. Personal issues are dealt by people who are experts in narrative, behavioral, or solution-oriented therapies. And psychodynamic therapists, like the one you were visiting, dealt with unconscious motivation.

Actually, many therapists deal with many different fields at once, some work in relationship therapy both romantic and platonic while others work only on you ��� if you choose to keep the people in your life out of your segments. Because of that, it was up to the person seeking out therapy to decide what’s right for them. For instance, if you are someone who always felt closer and comfortable with your dad, then maybe it’s best that you seek out a male therapist. You also had to be meticulous about their personalities.

During your search, you found a person who said their therapist always read their email during sessions on a blog forum. One even said their therapist ate rounds of cheese during theirs! It was extremely uncomfortable to read that. But now you knew there were many things to make sure of, therefore being prepared. Gender, expertise, field of education, professionalism, reviews, trust and even the vibe you get from certain therapists are all important factors in choosing a therapist.  

Researching yours, you found her specialty was in female psychology. Including relationships and intimacy. All reviews on her were positive and you were so glad to read through them. After rounds of self-motivation and days of procrastination, here you were.

It’s quite humorous actually, a month ago you never thought you’d be doing anything like this.  

You just weren’t ever capable, especially not with your level of anxiety. What could it be about the past few weeks that you’ve grown so courageous? Was it the meeting with the stranger on the roof, the discovery of a friend, or empathizing with someone you worked with? But what if it wasn’t a person? Perhaps it was the city’s rapid heart at 3 AM, the wild club and heavy beats or the mundane office life encouraging you to take a step forward. Maybe it the tragedy behind that rainy day you hate to recall and hitting rock bottom with such force. Opening the pandora box? As you struggle to find answers within yourself, you realize Jimin wasn’t the only one confused with your behavior.  

You don’t get to dwell on the past for too long as a door clicks open and lets a slight breeze pull you from your thoughts.  A slender young lady holding a clipboard appears; short brown hair, black kitten heels and thin rimmed glasses sitting on her nose. She looks in your direction and smiles, gesturing for you to come her way.

You get up nervously, wiping your sweaty palms on your pencil skirt. Straightening yourself out, you make your way towards her.

“Hi, you must be ___, correct? I’m Dr. Lin.” She raises her hand and you immediately grab it. Her voice was gentle and steady, you felt actually welcomed.

“Yes, nice to meet you, Doctor.”

“You too.” She smiles, “And please, call me Lin. This way please.”  

She leads you in with her arm on your back, making you effortlessly walk into the sanctuary of her office.  

Once you were inside the room, you gape at her place in awe. It was wide open, there was no way you’d feel suffocated in here as you originally thought. There were large windows, displaying the greenery located at the back of the building. She had two huge shelves filled with colorful books on both ends of her office. In front of the windows rested a large shaggy carpet with a glass coffee table on top. Behind the table were two grey sofa chairs that complimented the fuzzy blue carpeting. And a small desk on the right side next to an office chair where she probably did most of her work. As you hear the door shut behind you, you turn around to catch her eye and she smiles at you.

“Right this way.” She says, walking past you which leads you into following her. When she reaches a chair, she pauses, waiting for you to take a seat first.  

So, you do.

“Well.” She starts, grabbing the pen off her clipboard, “How are you today ___?”

“I-I’m alright.”

Lin raises the corner of her lips “Just alright?”

“Yes…I.” You don’t know what to say. Were you already doing something wrong?

“That’s good,” Lin smiles as she clicks her pen open and jots something down onto her clipboard. “That’s a beautiful ring by the way.”

“O-oh thank you.” You cover your finger with your hand as Lin slightly squints at your action, still writing something.

“So,” She takes a deep breath and put down her pen, “What brings you here today?” Looking back up at you, she beams.

“Um…I needed someone to talk to…”

“Do you not have someone in your life to talk to? Or is it that you don’t feel comfortable confiding in them?”

“Kind of both…I…don’t want to trouble anyone.”

“I see.” She writes something else down

“Now tell me ___...why’re you really here?”

Out of nervousness, you kept messing with your ring and you knew she could tell. So, to distract your hands you needed something else to clutch onto. There was a tall glass of water on the coffee table in front of you. Your doctor notices your staring right away to which she points, “Please, go ahead.”

At her approval you pick up the glass and bring it your lips. After drinking just a bit, you decide to hold it down on your lap. For a second, you just stare as the water softly vibrates inside the clear glass while Lin waits for you to speak up. Is there a right way to tell her? You struggle internally at voicing your problems.

“I-I’ve been married six years…and it’s…I’ve had a hard time.”

“Six years is quite long…most married couples have problems by then.” Lin says, “It’s normal. Going through difficulties ranging from various reasons either with money or fidelity – having ups and downs.”

You take a deep breath trying to keep your heartbeat steady. “I barely remember having an up…”

She stares at you, and you don’t look at her. Instead you stare at the small burgundy table on the side of your sofa. It separated your chair with hers.

“…Can you tell me a bit about your husband, ___? Why don’t start by telling me the last up you do remember?”

At that, you finally look up at her. Was there an up you remember? For a large portion of your life, you had thought that every single moment with Jimin was an up. But when it came down to it, that wasn’t the truth. Jimin spent tremendous amounts of time breaking his promises to you. You actually remember the last promise he kept…how innocent the display of your relationship was back then…

The morning was pure white.  

Or at least it felt like so in your cramped dorm room where you spent another day lying next to the only other body you desired. The craving was an ache on par with stories that are never finished or poems with no end. You wonder if this is how it would always be; you longing for him while being so close, as well as lingering on the edges of how long this would last, when he would get up and leave you. Then you can crave him for an eternity.  

Oh, how you dreaded that day. You couldn’t imagine it, couldn’t fathom it, you couldn’t even conjure up the courage to acknowledge it. But it was inevitable, wasn’t it? Out of the thousands who want him, the millions who would do anything for him – what could have made you so special?

“What are you staring at?” He asks, softly turning his sleepy eyes to you.

His gaze raises your heartbeat, you feel a blush crawl up your bare spine. He’s been quieter these days, always seeming like he was in a deep stupor. A covered silence behind his beautiful mind. Everything was domestic and wholesome, your mind felt relaxed.  

“I’m looking at my world…” You whisper, close to his ear as your lips brush against the outer lobe.  

For a moment he just stares before he lets out a breathy laugh. “Cheesy.”

You smile, head molding into his shouldering with ease. Sex with him was always like a gentle wave, slowly covering your whole body in its warmth. His body was warmer than your comforter and his skin more alluring than any sight offered to your eyes.

“Says you.”

“Oh?” He quirks an eyebrow up making you nod

“Remember when you took me to the arcade and kept trying to win me that fat round stuffed whale for 2 hours?”

“Pfft, and I never even won that, did I?” He scrunches his nose in mock anger

“Exactly.” You giggle

“Hmm…but do you remember you stood there and encouraged me on the whole time. Didn’t complain once.”

Of course, you remember that day. The heels you wore were so prickly, your feet were sore for a week. Still you didn’t want to discourage Jimin, who was trying so hard for you. Or maybe he was just to immersed in the game, but it didn’t matter. None of that mattered but the fact that Jimin was with you.

“You didn’t complain when my car broke down in the snow on that abandoned road. Nor when I insisted to go see Candyman instead of whatever romcom movie you had in mind… I’ve always love that about you.”

I love that about you.

“How can I ever complain when you’re having fun…I’m not the complaining type of girl anyway.”

“You’re right, you aren’t like the other girls.” Jimin turns to face you completely, a soft grin on your face, “Maybe that’s why I like you too much.”

“R-really?” You flush as he laughs. It was always so easy for him, wasn’t it? “Cheesy.”

“But you love it.” Jimin bites his lower lip and well, you couldn’t deny that. He leans in just then, catching your fleeting eyes before he tenderly connects your lips. You couldn’t deny him then either. Your mouths move in a languid fashion, tongues tasting the deepest corners slowly.

He tasted of honey. That sweet, addictive pleasure.

After a few seconds you both part, Jimin hums with a lazy smirk. Your stares battle infinity before he looks at the clock. “Shit…I should run, my boss needs me to come in early today.”

“Oh, okay.” You say, masking your dejection when he gets up to put his shirt on. Jimin always hated his bosses. Actually, he seemed to have a problem with any figure who displayed authority over him.

“…Jimin…” You call out to him and he looks at you over his shoulder. “You’ll come back tonight, right?”

“…Right.” He says with a smile.

“Promise?” Your voice is so quiet it disappears with the sounds he makes as he shuffles to get up. So you just watch as he gets ready, the yearning in your heart and mind stirring again as you glare a hole into his muscular back. And suddenly he turns, with that same smile on his face. The one that has entrapped your heart many times before.

“I promise.”

And that was the last promise he actually fulfilled.

“That sounds so sweet.” Lin pulls you out from your thoughts and you take notice of the gentle smile gracing your features.

“It was.”

“How long ago was this?” she questions

“…”

“___?”

“Si-…seven years ago”

She frowns, furrowing her eyebrows “And how long have the two of you been married again?”

“Six years.”

“Then what have the last six years been like for you?” She asks softly

“He’s fucking another girl.” You calmly state as the room goes silent. The only thing you could hear were the morning birds outside the window and your sullen breaths. Thinking about the last six years made you upset…you couldn’t do anything to change that. Your grip on the glass becomes tighter, and you notice you’ve left prints again. So, you quickly begin wiping them. “He’s been…fucking other girls.”

…

“…I see…why don’t you start from the beginning.”

And in a moment, you’re spilling it all. Every single tortuous detail from your spousal life. Jimin’s promises, his lies. Every time he shut you down or off. Whenever he created distance. Jessica. Mina. Tina. All of last month, as if it was a story written in a word document. Every single pain you felt. You were crying by the end of it. Both from the searing lump in your throat and from the dreadful feeling of betraying your husband by not keeping your marriage’s confidentiality.  

Why did you always feel so guilty?

You were sobbing into your palm as the doctor offers you a Kleenex. Wiping away at your tears, you take a glimpse at her expression. It had somewhat hardened in what you think is sympathy…but you couldn’t describe it well.

“Is there anyone you’ve spoken to about your husband’s infidelity other than Irene or Yoongi?”

“No.” You sniffle

“What about your mom?”

“I…I barely see her. Last time I t-talked to her was on the phone a year ago…on my birthday. And even if I d-did…I doubt I’d tell her.”

Lin takes a deep breath, “I see.” She commences to write something down once again on her clipboard. “Infidelity can be damaging in all sorts of way to an individual…especially to one’s self confidence.”

She looks at you “Do you feel that you have lost your sense of self-worth?”

“I wouldn’t know…I’m not sure I ever had any.”

This time, she takes off her glasses to hold in her fingers as she rests her knuckles under her jaw.

“While you’ve been here, I noticed you gave vague and short replies as if you didn’t want to talk in the first place when that’s exactly what you said you came to do. And you’re sitting at the edge of your seat.” She points at your hips and you immediately look down, “You’re trying to not leave a mark of your presence in the room, just like in the lobby…even the glass…you’ve marked off your prints around three times now?”

Were you really doing all of that? You felt embarrassed.

Her eyes immediately soften, and she speaks in a slower tone, “I just want you to tell me why you keep trying to make yourself as insignificant as possible. Why do you only become full of life at the mention of your husband?”

You wish you had an answer for her, but you don’t. Huh, how funny is it that this is the one time your perfectionism fails you. The one time you fail to provide an answer. Instead you opt to stare at the small table again. There were books on the table…one particular one stacked on top that caught your eye.

Her Body and Other Parties, the title read.

Lin notices where you were gazing off at.  

“…___...can I ask you something private? You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.”

Well she knew so much already. How can yet another intimate fact hurt? So, you nod meekly.

“How is your sex life?”

“Huh?” You make eye contact immediately after processing what she just said

“Can you tell me the last time you made love with Jimin?”

“Uh…um… uh-we haven’t been, I mean I can’t…with him.”

“Why?”

“Because when I tried to…Tina appeared in my head and I just…”

“Alright.” She says, looking ahead as if in thought. “Then when was the last time you were able to?”  

You try to think, “Around 3 months ago.”

“Before Tina then. And you’ve been sexually active occasionally before that, yes?”

“Yes.”

“How was it then? Did he make you feel good?”

“Yes…I think?”

She gives you a certain look, “You think? What do you mean by that?”

“I mean it’s Jimin…everything feels good with Jimin.”

“Were you able to reach an orgasm with Jimin?”

Silence puddles the room.

“No.” You whisper in the smallest voice

“…___, can you tell me how long it has been since your husband gave you an orgasm?”

There’s a strumming inside you and you feel your insides pound. She said you didn’t have to answer right?

“Since…Jessica.” You murmur her name so low you don’t think she heard it. But the way she clicks her pen on tells you otherwise.

“…Can you tell me how many years it has been?”

“…”

“If you don’t want to answer it, that’s all right. We can talk about something else.”

“5 years.”

“…I see…and before that?”

“Before that…I always came before Jimin. It was surreal to have him above me…inside me. I felt so…loved.”

Lin glances out a window for a few seconds, seemingly in thought. Then she brings her attention back onto you. “Has Jimin ever noticed?

You snort at that, to which she raises a brow. Clearing your throat, you speak again.

“No, he hasn’t noticed. I fake them.”

“So, you let him have sex with you, never once felt satisfied and didn’t complain?”

You look down at your glass once again, “I…I didn’t want him to not touch me.”

Lin nods, waiting for you to continue.

“I wanted him to love me…to only look at me. Not being able to cum…is all my fault anyway. Something…must be wrong with me.” You wipe the tears loitering your sockets with your crumpled Kleenex.

“No. This isn’t your fault.” Lin states before she sighs, rubbing at her neck. “I’ve heard that before in a lot of my female patients. Yet it still manages to amaze me.”  

“___,” She addresses you with full attention, making you straighten your spine, “Recently, I have been reading books on female sexuality and happiness. One of them being this-” She picks up the book you were looking at “-‘Her Body and Other Parties’ by Carmen Maria Machado. And I have come to notice a pattern between a woman’s sensuality and her self-esteem.”

Lin pauses, putting the book back down and looking back at you to make sure you were keeping up with her, making you nod in return.

“If I may ask…have you, by chance, brought yourself to an orgasm in the past 5 years?”

“Huh?”  

“Have you ever masturbated?”

“Umm…no…”

“Maybe once when you were a teen? College, perhaps?”

“No.”

Like she had an epiphany she writes down something yet again on her clipboard.  

“Then that’s what I want you to do before our next session. Educate yourself on healthy masturbation.”

Your jaw drops open at her statement, a string of questions leaving your lips. What did she just say? There was no way you’d be capable of doing something like that! You almost died just thinking about-  

“___, I know it seems crazy, but masturbation is directly linked to a women’s mental health. It helps you gain confidence, release stress, produces endorphins and strengthens your immune system. We will be able to find out a lot about you, such as if you are interested in the idea of sex or not, either which is fine. It can also tell us if Jimin’s infidelity has been causing you subconscious psychological damage.”

Your mouth shuts as she lists her reasons.

“You have spent your life, giving yourself away. To your mom, to Jimin, to your work. You spent your life trying to become someone they’d love, that you forgot about who you are. There’s barely any of the real you left inside.” She points at your chest, “I need you to find out what you want, the things you like. The pleasures YOU seek.”

“I want you to learn about yourself. Learn how to properly care for yourself…how to love yourself.”

As her words register in your brain, you think back to a couple days ago. About how you sat with Irene, outside that small café. Not understanding that you genuinely liked cooking, just thought you did it to make your mom or Jimin happy. And about how good it felt, how amazing it was to realize there was a part of your personality not molded from the people who took advantage of you. It was…liberating.

“O…okay, but how do I…I mean my sessions with Jimin were all soft…I’ve never done anything myself before.”

“It’s up to you really…why don’t you start out by using a toy? You’ve missed out for a long while, so yes. I think a toy would help you.” She smiles at you and you want to stuff your face into the couch.

Could today get any stranger?

Suddenly a timer beeps causing Lin to look back at her desk.

“Oh, that’s all the time we have for now ___,” She says standing up, and you rush to stand with her, placing the glass back on the table. “I hope you can successfully complete this task I’ve assigned you, and I’ll meet you the same time next week, alright?”

She extends her hand, and you take it immediately “Umm, yes definitely.”

With the pleasantries out the way, you carefully make your way towards the door. Once you place your palm on the door handle, Lin calls out to you once again,

“Oh, and no thinking about Jimin while completing my assignment! This is about you and only you after all.”

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-”

“Irene, please stop laughing.” You groan into the receiver, pinching the bridge of your nose in embarrassment.

“Sorr-I just ahhahahah, no wait-” She wheezes over the other line. Taking a deep breath, she consoles herself. “Alright, so let me get this straight. I’m out of town for a week and you end up going to a therapist who tells you to jerk yourself off on the first session?”

“Ireeenneee,” You whine, “She’s a smart lady. She’s trying to help me.”

“Oh, she’s definitely trying to help you alright.” Irene snickers and you huff in frustration. Maybe you shouldn’t have called her to tell her about your Saturday night plans.

“Okay, okay, no more jokes. So, are you going to do it?”

“Yes…I mean I don’t know…I’m a bit nervous.”

“You haven’t came in 5 years. As a girl with a healthy libido, that would emotionally damage the hell out of me. Maybe the Doc’s onto something.” Irene states

“You think so?” This is what you wanted as usual. Reassurance.

“I don’t know to be honest…why don’t you try it out and tell me? You sure you bought the right item?”

You stare at the small unwrapped object in front of you. A bullet vibrator. All of that internet searching for a pink oval-shaped ball.

“I…think…” You gulp, becoming slightly intimidated

“Well I think you’re going to have an amazing night my princess.” Irene coos making you blush

“I-I-I am hanging up on you now!” You pout, flustered

“Wait, no I wa-”

With a huff you end the call, throwing your phone off to the side. Again, you were left doing nothing but staring at your toy. It just laid there, staring back at you. The atmosphere of your room felt oddly tense.

“Okay…be gentle.” You whisper to it. It doesn’t respond.

You pick it up carefully, taking off your robe and laying down against your mattress.

…Now what?

You were a grown woman; it was healthy to explore your sexuality. That’s what those internet articles and female magazines told you, all written in a perky tone to somehow connect with the modern working woman. Although you being you, you couldn’t help but point out their spelling mistakes.

That’s not the point, you huff, staring at your ceiling in frustration. What were you supposed to do right now? Your core was exposed to the air, the bullet vibrator stayed stiff in your left palm and you felt kind of ashamed in this position.

No thinking about Jimin, you recall Lin warning you. How were you supposed to do that? Who else would ever make you feel the way Jimin made you feel? Granted, he didn’t actually make you cum in the past few years, making love with him still felt good.

Or at least you think what you had with him felt good. At the times he made love with you, you desperately tried to convince yourself that it was different with you than with Jessica or Mina. That you were special to him and they were just side pieces. It…didn’t really work. Nevertheless, there wasn’t anyone who made you feel as bright as Jimin, no one you made you flustered and left you stuttering.

Well except maybe Irene and her smart mouth.

You giggle as you think of your friend. Before you begin to ponder on the subject a bit too long. Irene did have a pretty mouth. Her lips were always so cherry red and eyes foxy and seductive. It was always difficult to look at her straight in the face, but she made you sure you did no matter what. She was so assertive.

It was then, when you were dreaming about her intense ogling that your hips shifted slightly, your exposed core aching. H…How would Irene feel around your…your…

“Ah-” You moaned, your arm sliding down until your fingers made contact with your folds. Your eyes were closed so you could better picture her jet-black hair, the lax strands perfectly framing her small face. Your mouth was shaped as an O, as your fingers brushed through your folds, sliding them across the lax skin, before stretching them open, becoming wetter by the second.

“Nn-ahh.” You cry out softly as you rub around your clit. Your mind filling with a deep haze. This was so strange, you’ve never thought of women this way. But then again, you haven’t thought of anyone this way except for your husband.

“Nuh uh~” You hear the tender tone of a feminine voice echo, and you strain to look between your thighs to spot your smirking vixen of a best friend, “No thinking of him here.”

She coos before she tips her tongue out, her face dropping into your middle. Whimpering loudly, you arch your back off the bed as you feel her take you into her mouth, wet muscle playing around with your juices. She slid it up, down and across, pinch your nipple as she sucked on your nectar.

“oh my- I-Ire-” You hear her snicker, her laughter shooting straight through your spine. While still in a foggy daze, you squeeze the vibrator in your left palm, before pressing the small power button with your thumb. Your breathing was heavy, the device buzzing slightly in your hand as you brought it down.

For a moment you hesitated, the object’s frequency intimidating you. So, with a deep breath, you shut your lids, connecting the vibrator with your clit. Immediately a wave of pleasure washed over you, your eyes shot open as you groaned. It was as if Irene’s tongue was molded to the shape deep inside of you. Your body raised in temperature.  

Although only connected to one part, you could feel the toy course throughout every limb. It left you shivering as you clutched the bedsheet beside your hips with your wet digits. You could feel your thighs, drenched in your sweetness, the air around them cooler, softer. Irene’s tongue increased in speed, sending your mind spiraling.

“O-OH mm-” You don’t know why you were trying to hold back your voice, but you couldn’t help it for some reason.

“Don’t hold back.” You suddenly hear, and you break out of your bewilderment to find another person on top of you. Shadowing over you was straight black hair, lusting doe eyes and soft rabbit features passionately regarding you. “I want to hear you.” He whispers as his large arms enclose around your head.

Why was he here?

Did you somehow want him to be here? You didn’t know. All you did know was that there was a knot forming inside of you, coiling around your insides with a viper like grip as you continued to fall into his stare. It felt so good, so euphoric. The pleasure was addicting.

You felt like you were going crazy, fingers slowly linking to your cunt once again. Rubbing circles as the device vibrated through your bundle of nerves. This wasn’t right, you shouldn’t be thinking about him. But the heat from his body made you feel lightheaded, whimpers escaping you like crazy. It was so wrong, but you felt so good in the moment.

“You’re so pretty like this.” Jungkook murmurs, moving away your hair sticking to your face. In a second Jungkook took the device away from you, winking at you. Confused, you tilted your head at him on the pillow before your eyes suddenly rolled into the back of your head.

He amped the vibration, placing the toy halfway inside of you. Your hips moved off the bed, fingers leaking wet with your nectar as you played with your clit. You wanted him inside of you so bad. It’s not that you wanted to conceive this very image, the sane you would never ever do something like this but fuck you don’t know what the fuck was wrong with you in that moment. And you didn’t care.

You imagine Jungkook drilling inside you, his fat dick ripping through your insides as the bed shook with every thrust. That was all it took to push you over the edge. And soon you were cumming, screaming out his name.

“J-Jungkook, yes! Oh God!”  

A heavy wave of pleasure washes over you, stars obstructing your sight. Your mouth hung open as your pussy convulsed. Shuddering through the tremendous sensation, you fall back onto the mattress with a thump, and the toy helps you ride out your orgasm.

“Haah...haa...”

BzzzBzzz

The only noises that were left were of your excessive breathing and the strumming of the bullet vibrator. It felt like all your energy had suddenly left you, you forgot how powerful orgasms were until now. Soon finding it to be painful, you remove the toy from inside you, pressing the power button as you hold it up to your face. It was sticky wet, your juices smothered around the pink device like glaze.

Glazed donuts.  

Blushing, you throw it to the side, still trying to process everything that just occurred. Wow. That was…Irene…and then Jungkook. You jump around, squealing into your pillow. What just happened?! Why did you imagine those two out of everyone? How will you ever face them again?

Even after everything was done, you couldn’t help the way your body felt so thrilled and satisfied. For some reason, you felt like you were floating on cloud 9. It felt so out of place, you hadn’t felt this way with Jimin ever. Not even on your best days. Who knew something so taboo could turn you on so much?  

Fuck.

You turn so your back rested against the bed again, before slamming your hands onto your face. Were you going to have to explain all of this to your therapist? No way were you going to tell her who you jacked off to. As you were overthinking and worrying about your near future, you suddenly began to feel very drained and numb. You blinked lazily, the familiar weariness akin to sleep.  

It took you by surprise, you hadn’t been able to fall asleep without sleeping pills for a long time now. As you bring your arms back down to look at the ceiling, you’re faced with your empty bedroom one again. Jimin had always been gentle with you, hadn’t he? It was another reason you loved him as much as you did. When you both made love, it felt like he could never hurt you.

Reality kicks in and a longing surrounds you. It was inevitable, you were bound to remember him again. You couldn’t help but wish your husband was here with you to share your happiness.

You wish he was here with you to see your growth, to be proud of you. You wish he was here with you and you couldn’t help but feel that yearning for him like you’ve always felt. You really wish he could love you. Looks like you hadn’t exactly passed this task, since you weren’t supposed to think about Jimin but you didn’t care. More than anything, you wanted him home.

Old habits don’t just die after one success.

So, as the thought of your vacant house infected you, before you could dwell on the topic further. Before you took another pill, feeding your insides with your own poison. Become a moping drone, a sickened shell once again, you shut your eyes. Blocked out the evil world before you and relaxed every muscle, every scar in your brain. It was the only thing you could think of doing. Thankfully your spent energy agrees with you.

Before Jimin could take over you once more, without ever lifting a muscle.

You fell asleep, letting yourself feel drained and dreaming of the wedding and the bright shore.

It was inevitable.

Your eyes flutter open to a soft white room. The sunlight was peeking through the curtains, lighting up the canvas across your orbs. You wriggle your toes about, slowly seeping into full conscious.

Once you can make out the ceiling above you, you stretch your muscles before sitting up.

“Ji-”

Turning on your side, you place your palm down on the cotton sheets beside you. A palm you meant to place on a body that was meant to be on the bed. Beside you.

“Right.” You whisper, staring at the cold spring empty of life and bringing your hand back to your lap.

No one’s there.

Sighing, you swing your legs off the bed and onto the floor – the fluffy carpet molding into your feet. You push yourself up, the action causing the sheets to slither off your naked body and expose your nipples to the chill atmosphere. Again, you stretch your tendons, raising your arms above your head and lifting the bottom soles of your feet off the ground. Your back curves and your eyes clenched shut. It’s been a while since you had fell asleep without pills.

Blinking lazily at nothing in particular, you sluggishly turn your body to the direction of the bathroom. You begin to saunter across your room, reveling in the peaceful silence of a sunny Sunday. As you’re a few steps from the door, your gaze catches onto the full-length body mirror set just aside.

It makes you halt in your tracks. A moment passes by before you step closer to your reflection in fascination.

Have you always looked like this?

Is this the way your hair falls over you face? You think as you run your fingers through your soft locks – bringing forward a single strand to the front of your face to focus in on. Slowly your gaze falls back to the mirror and you tilt your head. Sliding your digits onto your face, the tips of your pointer and middle fingers caressing the peak of your nose, gradually underneath your jaw and upon your neck.

Is this how your body was shaped?

You take it all in. Captivated by the glowing expanse of your silky skin, the gentle rhythm of your chest, and the highs of your curves you ran a palm over. Shuddering as a strangely new sensation waltzes within you. The sun’s rays wrap around you like gold, highlighting every mole and freckle settled into your casing. Scars and marks from forgotten memories finding shelter under the spotlight. Every secret exposed in the flare of the replication. It felt like you had just stepped out of a decaying cocoon – stitched together by the molding twined fabric of your uncertainties.

And the you who emerged shone.

There were sparks of glitter all around you. Tiny angels spinning threads of new-found purity onto the secret corners of your soul.

A once caged bird, with virginal wings as large as her innocent heart. Who wears her crown fragile; while her refined mind heals from the battles with the toxicity in amour. Her beauty is an ode to the agile cosmic, lucky enough to hold her able within its seams. Your dimensions were your unique, the line between pleasure and hurt fitted across your stomach.

It was beautifully raw outside that rotten cocoon. You spread your arms out, relishing in the way your body weaves between space and time as your insides melt perfectly into the shape of your skin. Every bone, every ounce of lush, the fruits of your divine frame. The mountains and hills spread amongst your flesh – the caves and burrows layered one on top of the other.  It was all beautiful. Raw, real and radiant. Like a pallet with too many colors splattered amongst the wood, splashes from aches and pain and memories and gain.

Your pallet.

As the pearls of your pupils rake through your figure, they suddenly land on your unclothed core. You let out a shaky exhale, eyes glossing and lashes fluttering. Carefully you guide your hand to your lower region until your fingers make contact with your wet folds. A shiver runs through you, goosebumps poking through your soft pores. Awakening the images of last night; of the whimpers and aches. Of the satisfaction and the explosion of your confined stellar.

This was you. Your perfect frame, your flawless physique, your structured identity.

Was it the early morning air? The first good sleep in years? Or the sensual night before?

…Did it matter?

A smile graces your lips as you wrap your arms around yourself. The slick from your nether regions painted amongst your fingers staining the upper part of your left arm.

You were just happy to be awake.

_

“They’re pretty, right?”

He holds up the peonies clutched in his hand at you, tilting his head so you could see him just behind the stunning flowers. He was everything for you; your energy, your medicine, your happiness. You wanted to melt.

“Yes.” You reply, trying to sound happy; less depressed.

He frowns and it goes straight to your heart, “Sorry”

“For?” He asks, throwing the plant on the couch. Not making eye contact.

Suddenly you wanted to cry. You’re too sensitive to all of his emotions and he knows it. Uses it to his pleasure. It was amazing – how some words had so much power over you.

For being sad. For not living up to your expectations.

“I love them Jimin.” You smile, placing your hands on each side of his face and turning him to you. “I love you.”

And he’s happy. The sun is back on his face.

On the other hand, you feel like the unlit side of the moon. Especially when Jimin engulfs you in a smothering hug.

“That’s what I wanted to hear.”

From me or Jessica? You think. It had only been a week since the dire revelation and your insides were crumbling. He had sex with you time and time again, but you felt nothing. Something was wrong with you, but you didn’t want to tell him.

You wanted him to be happy. Even if you hated yourself.

As you fit into his arms, you stare at your reflection in the mirror on the back wall. How ugly…how unworthy. No wonder he cheated on you. No wonder he found someone better.

He loves you too, he says.

But you couldn’t help hate yourself.

Ok. What the hell was a T-front string?

You squint your eyes at the screen, rereading Irene’s text for the tenth time.  

Your heels were clacking the floor below you, as you speed walked through the mall with a small giftbag in hand. A while after your little intimate moment with yourself, you had called up your friend to speak to her about the rejuvenation you experienced in excitement. She was very happy for you, giggling through the receiver like a child. It made you smile.

Although, no matter how much she pestered you, you refused to spill the beans about who you ended up jerking off about. Irene was persistent, naming off every actor and model she knew. And you on the other hand had no idea who half of them were. Thankfully, she couldn’t get you to spill the beans. You dreaded her reaction if she ever did find out.

After warding off her interrogation and chatting about something mundane, she had suggested for you to go to the mall so she can help you find some useful ‘items’ for women since you had nothing else planned. Your interest was piqued, thinking it might be items such as the world’s most comfortable bra or scrunchies that never go missing. Yet as you parked your car in the lot, and tentatively made your way inside – you had given up all hope for your superpowered hair ties.

None of the items Irene had been texting you made any sense.  

‘Double D Balls Dildo. Make sure the balls are squishy!’    

‘Shower Sex Foothold. Very useful for shaving your legs. Other things as well I guess.’

???

In an array of confusion, you had gone up to a random employee to ask him what exactly Doc Johnson’s “The Fist” was. The paling look he gave you in return has you traumatized for life. Never again would you ask anyone to explain anything Irene tells you.

As she continued to text you severe objects to buy, you just shook your head while buying a little something of your own. Letting her think you were following what she said of course. You could just imagine the look on her face, the tiny snicker as she continues to lightheartedly play around with your innocence. There was a small jewelry shop you loved in this mall, one Jimin would bring you to after he got a promotion or when it was your birthday.

You bought a small bracelet for Irene from said shop; to thank her for her friendship and for listening to you mope about Jimin. Satisfied with your purchase, and only this purchase – you decided to head out of the place. Your legs were practically running out of the mall, trying to get back home. It’s actually been like this for the past few days.

Since he disappeared.

Every time you stepped out of your apartment, even for a few minutes, you would rush back at twice the speed. It was as if…you were hoping that once you step inside. Once you’re in the sanctuary of your house, he’d be there too. He’d turn around and you could run into his warm arms again. And he’d promise you – genuinely promise – he’ll never leave again. Ever. It was a fairytale reunion made for a dreamy girl. Ridiculous, but you still wished it to be true.

For some reason, you were especially eager to get home today. Even more than usual. When you made it to the first floor and could see the doors you came in from, your phone abruptly buzzed again. Huffing, you open the device, trying to see what nonsense Irene sent you this time.  

You were too busy checking your phone to see where you were going. Your legs were rushing a bit too much to notice the other pairs of legs walking in your direction.

“Whoa-”

“Oww-”

That’s when you ended up bumping into another body with a small thud. The phone in your hand crashing onto the ground, sliding away from your peripheral vision on the floor. Both of you wobbled around a bit but grabbed onto the others arms to seek balance. Once you stood sturdy, you immediately searched around for your missing phone with your head turning about in a frenzy. It didn’t take you long to spot it as it didn’t travel too far, ending up right next to the girl’s leg. In relief you sigh, bending down to pick it up to brush the specks of dust and surveille the damage. The girl on your arm doesn’t move an inch, like she was frozen in place.

After you’ve made sure it’s not broken and everything was working properly, you smiled. Looking up at the girl to apologize.

“Oh, I’m sorr-”

A gasp escapes your throat.

Your eyes instantly widen – in an eerily painful way as your jaw fails you. Your insides plummet with a chaotic mix of anger, confusion, and dread swirling through you – thundering up a storm that has you stagnant. The atmosphere takes a sudden drop in temperature and a chill runs down your spine at the cold air. Subconsciously, you take a step back. Away from the sight before you.

“H-hey ___, long time no see.”

In return, the girl stands there in as much discomfort and anxiousness as you. Shifting on her feet, she sends you an awkward smile. A smile you were used to seeing daily at one point in your life. A smile you grew to reluctantly dislike over the years. Your muscles start to constrict.

“Mina.” A whisper leaks from your lips.

Clink, clank.

You listen in to the busy atmosphere surrounding you while sitting still in your wooden seat. Waitresses passing by, the small chatter, the clinging and clanging of cups and forks. It was all more interesting to you than the predicament at hand right now. There was nothing to really focus in on, except the table in front of you and its stiff glass casing. Which you were eyeing with lasers shooting out of your orbs.

The tension in the air was thick.

And the girl sitting opposite to you was looking at you a bit too anxiously, failing to be subtle with her regard. You could tell she was playing with her fingers underneath the table, a habit you had noticed many times before. Almost four years ago.

“H..how have you been?” She starts, making you look up at her.

As soon as you acknowledge her, her face drops. Like she was afraid of your judgement. She clears her throat.  

“I-it’s nice to see you again…” She strains, “After all these years…you look great.”

There’s an awkward silence that goes by as you’re slow to register her words. It was as if your brain doesn’t want to recognize the situation you’re in – trying to run away from you rather than recall any more past memories.

“It’s been quite long.” You manage to make out, “I’ve been well.”

Why did you lie to her? Were you that afraid of her finding out the truth?

“T-that’s good.” Mina replies a bit too fast.

…

Another awkward silence engulfs your vicinity as you both proceed to poke holes through the table.

“All right, here you are!” A shout wakes you both, making your shoulders jump. “One glass of water and one small coffee, one cream and two sugars.”

A lady places down your coffee cup in front of you, and you exhale at the balmy steam warming up your otherwise cold face.

“Anything else?” She chirps with a small tray in hand

“That’ll be all, thank you.” Mina responds to which the lady nods and leaves with a smile

Mina watches you as you stir your coffee mindlessly. You could tell there was a lot running through her mind like you.  

She hasn’t changed much. Just a couple of alters you could spot. Like how her hair’s a bit longer now, reaching just above the conjecture between her neck and her shoulder and dyed a darker color. A few more piercings graced the left side of her ear now. There was also a small tattoo on her ring finger – some sort of symbol in a mix of purple and red. On the other hand, her style hadn’t changed at all. She still wore those oversized black hoodies and white sneakers. You hide a smile as her dark top almost drowns her.

Mina was as beautiful as you remember.

Suddenly, she huffs, picking up her water.  

Gulp, gulp, gulp

You gape at her with wide eyes as she drinks the whole glass in one go. She sets it down with a clang, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Then her orbs connect with yours, as she continues to stareat you with an unreadable expression. For a second, you catch her regarding the gift bag by your side.

“___, I-” She starts off strong, faced focused and seeming like she knows what she’s going to say.

But as her linger remains, she loses her grip – mouth slacking and concentrated expression failing.

“I…”

“What is it?” You say in a low yet clear tone of voice

“I…God! I don’t know how to say this!” She places her elbows on the table, burrowing her face into her palms. Her outburst turns a few heads to which you shift uncomfortably to.

“Are you alright?” You reach over and place a hand on her wrist, which has her removing her hand covering her face to stare at the place you were touching her. She spots your ring.

“Are you still with Jimin?” She whispers

“…yes.” You say, although it’s not exactly the truth.

You retract your hand and her eyes follow it till they land back on you.

“How is he?” Mina asks, even quieter than before

“He’s well.” You’re not sure how else to answer. Honestly, you didn’t even want to answer.

She scoffs, “Good for him.”

The hate in her tone catches you off guard, your eyebrows furrowing as you stare at the now frowning girl.

“…Wha-”

“Good for him. Park Jimin. Great. Wonderful. Of fucking course he’d be well, he’s the one and only Park Jimin. The nicest guy in the world. Light of everyone’s fucking life. Sweet, kind, charming Park Jimin. Let me go jump off a cliff.”

She spits each word with abhorrence laced in her tongue. Her eyes squint in anger and her fist clenches the ends of her long sleeves. You sit there, shocked and confused.

When she notices the expression on your face, she unwinds. Moving her arms off the table and sitting up.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you…I just…” Taking a deep breath, she closes here eyes to contemplate something. Before looking up at you once again, “I always wanted to apologize for what I did to you.”

…

A third silence passes you both. Your brain was now fully awake and taking in each and every word.

“There’s not a day I don’t think about it…what I did to you…the mistakes I’ve made.” Mina’s voice cracks halfway as her eyes become glossy. For some reason, your chest starts to ache. “I regretted it every single day ever since you left. And I always, always wanted to talk to you one last time. I-if that’s okay with you?”

She halts to study your reaction. You nod, urging her to continue.

“…It’s not a secret – what I did over the course of half a year. What I allowed to happen…” She sniffles, staring at the gift bag as a tear falls down her eye. “It’s just…you meet this guy, right? A polite, charming, extraordinarily handsome guy, and he’s great. And he’s married which is also great but-”

“He sees you, like…he actually sees you for you and he befriends you. And he doesn’t tell you to change unlike other guys. He doesn’t turn his nose up at your quirks and doesn’t hold animosity in his eyes. He tells you his secrets…or what you think are his secrets and he appreciates you.”

She takes a deep breath, her nose running and cheeks rosy. Taking a napkin from the table’s corner, she wipes the tears littering her face as your own eyes well up. So this was how Jimin was in her mind compared to yours. There were a lot of similarities and a lot of differences.

“And so,” Mina strains, “You fall for him. Even though it’s wrong and even though he’s m-married. Even though his wife is a wonderful person, y-you fall so, so hard. And when he kisses you while he’s a drunk, giggling, beautiful mess…you don’t stop him.”

You close your eyes as the first tears makes its way down your cheek. Even though there were a lot of differences, the feelings were the same.

“Y-you don’t stop after the first time. Nor after the second and then the third… and it just keeps going on and on and on. Until it’s too late to stop. Even though the guilt eats you alive. Even though you stop eating and stop sleeping and no one can see the bags under your eyes, when he smiles at you-”

Mina shows you a pained smile, “When he smiles at you, and his eyes crinkle and his nose buttons. You think it’s all – the pain, the secrets – it’s all worth it. Because you just feel so damn special for some reason. So, you throw yourself down the drain, become the woman you never wanted in a relationship that would never go anywhere. You lie until your teeth start rotting and hide until the shame stops consuming your heart.”

You wipe your tears with the back of your hand, trying to calm your senses by pursing your lips.

“Then one day…he tells you he doesn’t need you anymore. That you never meant anything to him and it’s over.” Mina’s stop crying now. She stares at the table once again, this time looking at her reflection in the glass. “And you don’t put up a fight, because you knew this was coming. It was inevitable. A real relationship can never be based on a lie. All you’re left with is the person you’ve become.”

“In the end…all you did was become a liar that hates herself. Someone who hurt a woman who’s been nothing but kind to her. Someone who shut everyone out till the one guy she’s wanted shuts her out… that’s the conclusion.”

You let out a shaky exhale, your body lagging and mind numbing. There’s yet another moment of silence as you process everything you’ve just heard. Your feelings…were just the same.

“I’m sorry.” Your eyes shoot up as Mina speaks up once again, “I’m sorry for what I did to you and for all the things I let happen.”

“I understand if you don’t forgive me. And I understand if you never want to see me again. I…just wanted to tell you that you were great. You were a great wife, and a great friend…a great cook haha...and a great person. You deserved better than all of this. You deserved better than all of us.”

“And...and I know how it feels…I…I dated someone after Jimin… and huh ironically-” Mina lets out a breathless laugh, “He cheated on me… and I know I deserve I-”

“No.” You interrupted her, “No one deserves that.”

Mina pauses as she stares at you, “It really hurts…it’s not just them loving someone else, but them breaking your trust and connection. Completely disregarding your feelings and disrespecting you. And something like that coming from someone you love – someone’s who’s supposed to love you…breaks you apart from the inside. And that’s why I now understand what kind of a person Park Jimin was. A manipulative, lying piece of shit who immediately uses people’s vulnerabilities for his own pleasures.”

…

“I hope one day you’re able to move on from what I’ve done but…I will always carry what I did to you. I’ll continue to fall into toxic relationships and continue to have trust and commitment issues for the rest of my life.”

You frown at the feeble girl in front of you. Was this what you wanted from her? From Jessica? Is this what you want for Tina? Would this satisfy your idea of karma?

“Thank you…for apologizing…for speaking your truth.” You began slowly, Mina’s inflamed face staring at you,  

“I always tried to understand why you did it. How you could do that to me when you’ve met me and knew me and…my head was just a mess for the longest time…but now…I just hope you’re able to move on from this as well…I don’t know if I can truly forgive you but I don’t want to hate you any longer. I spent so much energy trying to hate you and the other girls…I compared myself to you, I looked down on you…I ran away from you.  

“But what was it that you owed me at that my husband didn’t owe me a hundred times more?”

Trying to piece your thoughts together you sigh, “The you I conjured up in my mind was a lot more characterless and viler. But now it just seems like I was trying to blame anybody but Jimin for his own mistakes. That’s the whole idea behind homewrecker, huh? I blamed you, I blamed my mother, I blamed myself. I blamed every single person except Jimin. And I shouldn’t have. There was no one else at greater fault. Not even you… and I no longer want to do that. I no longer want to put the blame on others.”

Mina looks away once her eyes tear up again. Her body felt sore and her insides twisted painfully. There’s no greater pain than the guilt of a woman.

“In the end we were all trying to find our happiness…anyway we could. I guess…we just searched for it in the wrong places.”

The rest of the sudden meet up was spent in silence. This abrupt hush being the last one before you finished your drink and observed the traffic around you. It felt like you both had said what you wanted, like your chests were finally free of such a huge burden. What was left was a empty feeling, satisfying but still an end.

Soon, it was time for goodbyes.

And then there you were, driving home from the longest trip you’ve ever had at a mall. You sat there, steering your car on the road, thinking just one thing. All this time, you’ve remembered nothing but bad things about her. About Jessica. And now about Tina. But what was the point in accusing them?  

What type of satisfaction had you gained from hating other women?

Did it stop your husband from cheating? Did it dissolve his sins?

What sort of people were Jessica and Tina, apart from the characters your imagination had invented?  

There were new questions you needed answers to. And there was just one person who could help you answer them all.

Just one.

Jimin was in the balcony, drinking his night away again.

Tina wouldn’t shut up tonight, he didn’t want to deal with her. But right now, he didn’t have anyone he could trust as much as her so his feet were planted in her damn apartment. As he looks up at the bleary sky, his mind wanders back to you. What were you doing at the moment?

Tsk, he scolds himself then. Why did he always think about you in the end? What did you mean to him? NOTHING. You were a toy. A toy he ended up going overboard with almost 6...no 7 years ago from tomorrow.

A toy that was causing him problems...  

Jin had called this morning. “Why doesn’t your wife know where you are?”

It infuriated him; how dare he be questioned like this. And that bastard was one to talk, he was with Jimin playing wingman anytime Jimin needed a quick fuck. Telling him he knows men shouldn’t be tied down to one woman, that men were made to pump out their population into mankind. So why was everyone acting different now?

Why were you?

He kept you under his control for so long. How did you even find out about Tina?

Why was he?

Jimin couldn’t eat for the past few days. Nothing tasted like your cooking so he couldn’t swallow it down. His sleep was fucked up and he tried to wear himself out going to the gym or having sex with Tina or someone else but nothing worked. If anything, he just felt worse. He kept remembering the cologne you came in with that one night, just which bastard were you fucking?

His grip on the glass beer is so tight, he could hear it crack. No, you couldn’t have. Jimin was sure you wouldn’t even think about another man as long as you had him. Who would?

As his heart continues to ache and yearn without him knowing why, mind numb and limbs sore, his phone begins to ring.

Speak of the devil.

...

You studied the phone in your hand, as your thumb trembled while hovering over his name.  

Why was this so hard? You’ve been upfront with him for a while now. So, what is it about today – this moment particularly – where your insides would rather shut down than hear his voice?

As you once again back out from pressing his name on your phone screen, you huff, sitting up in frustration. It shouldn’t be this hard, it’s really not a big deal. So what if you had no idea where your husband was for the past week? So what if he had his own wife sent to voicemail so many times that she had become too traumatized to call him? And so what if the biggest day of your life was tomorrow and he was still MIA? All you had to do right now, was ask about his location. Drown the wild thoughts and insecurities in your head with confirmation from the love of your life.

He owes you that much.

So, with a loud sigh, you click on his name. Ready to face the truth.

Your gut drops when it rings. Falling deeper and deeper with the first ring.

Second ring.  

Third ring.  

Fou-

“Hello?”

Gasping at the voice, you immediately put your phone next to your ear.

“Y-yes hello?”

“…___.”

You wanted to cry. He actually picked up, he really answered. “J…Jimin.”

Your whole body shivered, as if it remembered Jimin existed. He wasn’t some fever dream you mind conjured up. There was so much you wanted to tell him, which spiked up the adrenaline in your system. Oh, how you longed to speak to him.

“I heard you called Jin…” Was his immediate response. After being away from home for so long, after leaving you in the dark. He was more concerned about you talking to someone about how he left you.

“Yeah…I-I did.”

“Why?” He sounded annoyed

“Because I didn’t know how else to reach you…”

“You shouldn’t have called Jin.” He spoke again, firmly.

Biting your bottom lip, you hold back your tears. Does he think it was easy for you? Doesn’t he realize how embarrassed you were? Can’t he understand that you wouldn’t have called him if he just picked up his phone? Jin’s seen you before, he’s made you laugh before, you know him. He’s a very charming person, it’s why he’s one of Jimin’s few coworkers that you genuinely liked. Also one of the first friends Jimin made when you moved into this city.  

It’s why you were terrified that when you make the call…his high opinion of you would change. That to him you’d look like a pathetic, desperate woman whose husband casted aside. You felt so much shame and if you truly, frantically didn’t need his help, you would have never asked.

Doesn’t he know that? Does he care about you at all?

“I…I’m sorry.” You whisper

He doesn’t respond. No, you didn’t want to blame him.

“Jimin…I’m so sorry for everything…I got ahead of myself. Please Jimin…”

Still, silence.

“Jimin…I don’t know where you are…I don’t know what you’re doing but I know that I love you. I love you and I miss you and I need you so much that it hurts.”

…

“Jimin…would you please…please come home to me? Please.”

“I don’t know, ___.” He responds tiredly, “I just don’t know who you are anymore.”

By now you should have known it was useless for you to hold back tears. “You stood in that altar with me, right? You took my hand and told me you wanted to stay by my side forever. You said forever didn’t you Jimin?”

Again, you shared radio silence and you close your eyes and imagine him. His beautiful self, his past innocence. What should you do to capture his attention?

“I met Mina yesterday.”

At that you hear his breath hitch.

“W-what…where?”

“At the city mall…she’s still as pretty, you know.” You let out a giggle

“You’re prettier.” He jokes. It was so out of place but he said it casually.

You laugh. You laugh and laugh and laugh until you start to sob. Breath heaving and lungs sore, you sob into the receiver. Your face was wet, and your nose was running, you were sure you have never looked more unattractive. Being close to him once again opened up the flood of your insecurities, made you feel hyper aware of your appearance. Shame and embarrassment enfold in you once more and you feel your throat close in on yourself.

Him just casually joking around reminds you of the old days. Where you might have been broken inside but Jimin was here to mend you outside. And that’s what you needed right now, for him to glue your shards back together again. A porcelain doll is always hollow inside anyway.  

“…_-___.”

You cry louder at the sound of his voice. Your Jimin…you loved him so much.

“J-Jimin-hic-…pleas-please -hic- some home…I’ll change Jimin, I-I’ll be better, so please.”

He listens to you cry and his chest aches like someone pulled his heart out. This was something he was never good at, dealing with someone’s feelings. That’s why he never let anyone get too close, even if they felt like they were. Everyone…but you. Fuck, he shakes his head. No, you meant nothing.

But he still wanted to console you.

“T…the anniversary dinner is tomorrow, right?” He starts, his voice uncertain, “I…I’ll come then.”

“You will?” You hiccup, your own tone unsure

“I will.” He says, and this time he sounded confident. “I will come back home ___, just wait for me…”

“Promise me…”  

What else could you wish for?  

“I promise.”  

How could a little more waiting hurt you?

Jimin shuts of the phone and sighs. It seems like you were back under him, which is a relief. He smiles then, his heart soaring at the thought of seeing you again. Just imagining the look on your face would be enough to keep him satisfied for a long time.

See? You love her. A voice interrupts. It came from deep inside his chest. Conscious, they call it. He hated it more than anything. The only person Jimin loved was himself and the only person he needed was himself.

He’s not like those pathetic people that lust after him immorally. There were no similarities between him and them, there never would be. His conscious seems to disagree though, telling him once again, how much he loves her, someone like her.

Growling at his brain, he smashes the bottle down onto the balcony’s pavement. The shards scatter, glimmering in the moonlight of the pale city. He could see himself in the reflection.

And for the first time, he didn’t like who stared back.

You were waiting.

On that time of year again.

June 17th, the most special day of your life.  

You still remember it quite well; the well-lit Azul sky, the light specks of sand, the calming roar of the clear waves. It was the most beautiful morning in the universe.  

Yet you were a wreck of nerves, sweaty palms and jittery teeth. Jimin’s dad placed a hand on your quivering shoulder, your eyes shooting the gentle senior as he smiles at you consolingly. You were never close to Jimin’s parents, nonetheless they were always tremendously kind to you. A part of you felt so undeserving of their love, but Jimin would remind you that you have earned everything good in the world. Jimin…you couldn’t believe in a few moments you were marrying the love of your life. How and when did your life take such a drastic turn for the better?

Snapping from your reverie, you shyly nod your head at your new father and place your hand under his outstretched arm. And soon it starts – the piano melody signaling the curtains withdrawal.

As the fabric was removed from your vision, the picture-esqu sight came into view in front of you, making you hold your breath and faintly tighten your grip on the elder man’s arm. The audience immediately turned their heads, a pleasant expression of awe plastered on their faces. White and pink carnations, complimenting your long lacey dress, decorated the virgin painted benches and their petals littered the bleached soft satin carpet.  

And in front of it all – the audience, the flowers, your mother – stood Jimin. You lost control of your senses when you saw him. He stood perfectly still, hands clasped together and slightly taller than usual with his heeled derby’s and straightened posture. His black suit was stitched without a visible flaw, even in this bright daylight. It elongated his limbs and made them seem sturdier – rather well put as he jut his chest out ever so softly. Your eyes couldn’t break away, even as you began advancing towards him. Jimin too, stared right at you unwaveringly, like he could see no one but you at the moment.  

His hair was gelled back and brush to the side, letting the sunlight highlight his ethereal features. When you reached the end of the carpet, Jimin’s father took a hold of your hand and handed it to Jimin. As soon as Jimin’s fingers touched your palm, a spark of fire traveled underneath your skin and your arm broke out in goosebumps. He led you up the three-step stairs, into the altar where the priest stood in front of you both.  

“You look gorgeous.” He whispers with a cheeky smile

You break out into a shy smile, some of the rashness in your nerves leaving you.

His eyes never leave yours as the priest starts speaking and you could feel your own eyes well up as you hear the quiet sobs of Jimin’s mother.

After the small sermon, it was time for that big question.

“Do you Park Jimin, take ___ to be your lawfully wedded wife? To cherish her in sickness and in health? And never leave her lonely?”

For a moment you thought you saw a pause in Jimin’s smile. That there was a sudden weakness flashing across his orbs. But it was over, very, very quickly.

“I do.” He states proudly, causing all the unease in your lungs to vanish.

As the priest repeats the question to you, you take a deep breath, ready to state your obvious answer.

Suddenly though, you catch the eyes you’ve been avoiding the whole time.

Your mother. Sitting in the front row.

Without a smile.

“Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Mom, please…I’m getting married in a few hours. Why is this the only thing you have to say to me?”

The older lady inhales, her nostrils flaring in exhaustion. “I’m saying this for your own good.”

“No! You’re saying this for your own sick pleasure!”

“How could you think that way about your own mother?”

“…because let’s face it mom…you’ve never cared about me…”

She went silent after that. 10 minutes of arguing and this was what made her silent.

“Alright.” She spit, bitterly. “But when he ends up leaving you, don’t come crying to me.”

…

“I never have.”

“Madam?”

You jump from your daydream.

“Pauillac?”

A well dressed, older waiter stands in front of your table. He held out a bottle of expensive looking wine.

“Oh, thank you.” You say, holding out your glass.

Fast forward to seven years, you set up a reservation at the most popular 5-star restaurant in your city. It’s something you’ve done every year for four years, a month ahead because of the place’s demand and limited seating options. Even though your nerves were eating at you, you kept yourself alive. Today is the day you’ll see Jimin again. He’ll be back home again.  

Your body was yearning for his touch again, you felt yourself getting hot and cold at times for no reason. But it was alright, you were happy.  

You’ve gotten your hair, makeup and nails done at a salon today, wanting to look beautiful for your husband. It was red in color and light weight, to not seem overbearing, and you wish Jimin would like it on you. Imagining him complimenting you had you unintentionally beaming. Anything and everything he’d say tonight was bound to have you convulsing inward, you were just so excited to see him again.  

Having arrived 15 minutes early, you mess with the napkins and cutlery, making sure everything was straight and preppy. Your nerves were on high making you fidget and glance at the door every few seconds. Jimin’s promise rang inside your head as assurance. There was a letter clutched in your hand. Since there were so many – way too many things you wanted to tell him, you decided to write a letter instead.

He’ll be here. I know him.

Time went by a bit too slowly, so you took some sips of your wine. What should you say first to him. Oh, you should thank him for keeping his promise. That would make him happy. Then you should apologize for that night, negotiate carefully to not scare him away. You’d tell him of the progress you made, about how you were learning to stand on your own two feet so you wouldn’t bother him again.

Whatever you did, you could not afford to make him feel upset again.

As you continued to carefully plan out your time with Jimin, a voice resounded in your head.

“You spent your life trying to become someone they’d love, that you forgot about who you are.”

…

You were doing it again. Of course, you didn’t want to apologize to him…but you were more concerned with what pleased him. Sighing, you took another sip of your wine.

Where was he? You were beginning to get angsty. Tapping your foot against the floor, you signaled the waiter for more wine. 20 minutes had passed. 30. 40. Soon you were bombarded with voices echoing your head.

Lin. Irene. Yoongi. Mina. Your mother.

Everything they said over the past month haunting your insides until you shook. Stop it, you wanted to yell. All you wanted was to be in your husband’s arms. You aren’t stupid for yearning for love. Jimin promised.

1 hour.

You had begun to stare at the people around you, dressed so lavishly. They all look so content. How lucky they were. There was a senior couple a couple of tables away from you, the lady feeding something sweet to her husband. It made you smile, and your heart hurt even more. Jimin, please come soon.

2 hours.

Where was he? People were starting to notice you could tell, their shaped became nothing but eyes that beheld you with animosity. Eyes poking you in places that left you sore. You wanted to jump into a cold river. Wash away the restrictive feeling around your throat. No, you aren’t stupid for trusting Jimin again.

With a deep breath, you press his number, holding it to your ear with pursed lips. He doesn’t pick up. But you dial it again. What if something happened to him, you worry. There was a similar feeling inside of you. The one you felt when you visited this office that night. Your heart and mind pleaded with him.

Please, Jimin.

“…Hello?” A groggy voice answers

You smile – you actually fucking smile for the tiniest millisecond. Before realizing that wasn’t his voice. No, that high-pitched feminine voice wasn’t his. Your whole face falls.

“Ms. ___?”

Tina.

“H-hello, Ms-” You overhear some shuffling before you hear him.

“Kitten, who is i-”

No longer concerned, you hang up. You were so stupid.

Your face twitches, mind still frozen before the tears fall like rain. It was raining outside too.  

In seconds, your makeup’s all ruined, and the collar of your dress is strangling you. With so many people in the vicinity, you try to stop your tears but it’s no use – you can feel a few stares burning a hole through your head. You don’t even care to acknowledge the waiter who cheerily walks up to you pushing a cart.

“Ma’am here’s your oh-”  

He stops dead in his tracks in front of you, who’s silently heaving into the air. He’s at loss of what to do as he gapes at your wrecked state, in his sweaty palms he weakly holds the handle of the cart. On that cart laid a large 2 layer lavishly decorated vanilla-swirl cake. Jimin’s favorite. With two words written at the top in pink strawberry icing.

‘Happy Anniversary’

You had no clue where you were headed.  

The hush of the car pushed you forward. Your grip on the handle was deathly, frigid arms barely holding it eerily still and not crashing into one of the pawn shops on the right out of pure fury.

After the tears came the rage. You were so, so angry. And you didn’t give one single fuck.

Fucking Jimin, perfect, lovable, charming Jimin. Fuck him.

How dare he?

How fucking dare he not show up? How fucking dare he embarrass you like that? He lied to you yet again. And you, like the pathetic woman you are, fell for it again. It was like a drug, the wrath and despair within your system. Traveling across every nerve and every stream. Feeling like tiny needles prickling you all at once. You were so fucking angry.

It kept replaying in your mind. Tina’s groggy voice, her confusion…her pity. You couldn’t control anything, not your breathing nor your anger. All you wanted to do was forget about it all. Before you did something you really regret. So, you sped to the only place that made you forget once before.

You push the breaks to a halt, your body lurching forward at the sudden stop. Turning, you look out the car window, breathing fire through your nose. The loud beating of the music silently shakes the whole road. Bright red neon lights flare into your vicinity, reflecting even the puddles of the long dead rain.

Cypher Road.

With a humorless smirk, you open the car door, stomping your way out of the vehicle. Wasting no time, you sprint into the entrance with a slight stumble in your step and are immediately greeted by dancing bodies. It wasn’t any different than that other day – if anything, busier. The noise was so loud you could stop yourself from thinking for once. You brush past the lively bodies without a care, yet there is a small warmth with each touch of flesh that has you inhaling repeatedly.

Trance.

There is a joy of being here. You hadn’t wiped the scars of mascara off your face, your hair was a mess from you pulling on it. And your dress felt even lighter than before as you stepped onto the dance floor. The atmosphere was blinding, and you had come here to be filled with its addictive ignorance. How sweet it is to not taste the bitter reality.  

It was slow at first. You weren’t in rhythm with anyone, but then again when had you ever been. Spanning your arms out, you brought them above your head as you twirled once, twice – a few times. Every second you unraveled yourself, closing your eyes as your heels glided along the dance floor and you shook and turned. Swung and twist.

You wanted to lose all your energy here. Everything had to melt away.

With every move you made, your mind became light headed, stars amongst your seams exploded and the fast pace of the universe seem to lull. So, softly, you fluttered your lids open.

The first thing you saw were the bright neon green lasers, traveling across the dance floor from the ceiling. Then you notice how the whole floor had slowed, the laughing, the screaming, the motioned limbs. Everyone around you had begun moving along your timeline, your pace – the slow dance with life for the very first time. Somehow the music had lost all it’s upbeat fervor and your ears echoed a blue ambiance in its place. You felt drunk even though you took mere ounces of liquor.

Numb, you were more numb thank drunk. Your movements were sluggish and your mind in a deep haze. This is what it feels like to be high on grief. While your eyes were roaming the dance floor, they landed on someone. There was a girl, around 10 feet away from you, who caught your attention, you’re not sure why. Nothing seemed unordinary about her – not her short dress, nor her pretty face. The club was full of that. She dances as lethargic as the figures around her. What you kept staring at was the necklace she wore, the pure silver being the only color you could see on her as the darkness of the club muted all other colors.

But the second a citrus scent fills the air around you, she is long forgotten. You turn back in front of you to see him.

He, who stood a good 5 feet ahead, taller than Jimin. He, who wore an expensive suit with a colorful scarf tied around his long neck. Dusky hair and sharp eyes, a slight tan and fixed stare. It was in that moment time come to a complete halt. Just you and him, even breathing and secret heartbeats. His face tilted to the side, a smirk present on his inviting lips. You blinked leisurely.

“Nice to see you again, baby.” He said in his deep, sexy voice

You recognized his voice.  

Who could forget it?

The stall door slammed open as your body was pushed inside. For the first few seconds your breath was knocked out of you, just to fit into his mouth once again.

“Mmm-ah-”

His mouth was hot, heavy and wet. The middle of your spine shivered, sending a cursing sensation all throughout your body as you held onto his arms. The warmth of his shoulders kept you giddy, your face tilting to allow his tongue in further. His grip on your hips was tight, his fingers dangerously lurking your ass. You blushed as you felt your chest pressed up against.

He bit your lip and you gasped, your fingers treading into his hair as you tilted your head back. His lips kiss down your jaw, onto your neck as you moan loudly. The air was immense, the four walls of the stall closing in on you and you didn’t care one bit. You wanted to be swallowed. After nipping the soft skin of your neck, he looks up, into your eyes.  

As you stare into the endless abyss by your own glossy orbs, you could swear there was no one more beautiful.

He smirks yet again, making you clench. His thigh parts your legs as his warm hand travels along your hip line before he grabs your dress. Pulling up the light fabric, you feel his hot fingers on your bare skin. You try to hold back your voice but fail miserably as you whimper, holding onto to him tightly. Softly, his hand caresses your thigh, tender and slow. You close your eyes, your brows knitting in what you think was frustration and you hear him chuckle.

God, that voice of his.

The air is knocked out of you as his fingers land on that sweet, sweet spot. Your eyes opening to find his intense stare.

“You’re so wet, fuck.” He huffs, fondling you over your panties

Unable to properly respond, you blush. Biting your lower lip before you begin to rub yourself on him. You’ve never done that before. Taken control of the situation that is.

“Shit.” He mutters, staring you down as you shamelessly stroke yourself against him. Your freedom didn’t last long as he snakes an arm around your back, your chest crashing into his and his long digits slam into your core.  

“Ah!” You grab onto his arms as he scissors your insides.

“Fuck, baby,” He grunts, his low voice making you tremble, “You haven’t been fucked properly for a long time now, have you?”

His dirty words cause you to clench, curses once again slipping out of his mouth, “I’m gonna change that tonight – shit. I��ll fuck you so good, fill your nice and pretty cunt with my cum.”

You couldn’t say anything, lips trembling and back arching as his elongated fingers fucked into you, reaching such a depth that had you weak in the knees. Thankfully his hold was tight.  

“You want that baby? You want to be stuffed with my dick? I bet I’d slip in so – fuck – so easily, I bet I’d cum right away, what do you think baby?”

“Nn- oh, yes-” It slipped out, as his pace became faster, harder and you wanted to thank whoever created him for his blessed fingers. They were much longer than Jimin.

…

Jimin?

…Jimin.

In an instant your eyes shot open, “N-no!”

The guy made out a ‘huh?’ Before you pushed him away with all your strength. His back collided with the right stall wall, as you used the left one to stand up properly.

You suddenly become all too aware of the ring encasing your finger on your trembling hands. The warm atmosphere now defeated by a scorching heat. Your eyes became cloudy as images of your husband flashed through your mind. The man you swore your soul to, the man who you came home to, his smile, his love. What the hell were you doing? You were married! Married! How could you-

“H-hey? Are you alright? Was it something I said?”

The man reaches out for you, causing you to jump.  

“No!” You shout again, your loud voice echoing the stalls. His eyes fill with worry and the guilt threatens to spill out your throat. Did he know you were married? How would he feel about that? What were you doing? WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!  

You were wheezing without any cause. The air in your lungs felt painful, throat sore and breaths ugly. Panic…you were having a panic attack. The walls were closing in and the light of the restroom gave you a pounding headache.

“I-I’m sorr-” You manage to choke out before running out of the stall, not even daring to look back.

You ran and ran and ran. Pushing away from the heavy bodies littering your way. Sobs of pain left you, but no one even cared to look. This wasn’t what you wanted from tonight – you wanted to forget Jimin, not become him. Yet you can never forget how you reacted to that stranger, how sensitive your body was to someone who wasn’t your husband. Tremendous shame and guilt travel up your neck like parasites. Your eyesight had become blurry, all the overwhelming lights meshed together, and you couldn’t even see anymore. All that was guiding you was the reminder to get out of this loud place.

And it was then that you bumped into someone.

“___? Hey, are you alright? ___?”

A frantic voice, and grip on your arms pulls you back to reality. For a moment you just heave as he shakes you softly, grip firm and protective. Slowly, your eyes begin to clear and breathing slows. There you see Yoongi and you, standing near the entrance hall of Cypher Road.

“Y-Yoon…gi?” You mutter, out of air

“Fuck, ___, what happened to you?” Yoongi shouts, his eyes widened in concern  

“You lied to me Yoongi…” You mutter

“…What?”

“You lied to me!” You cry, pulling him off of you, “You t-told me…” Your voice breaks, tears filling your eyes, “You said he did nothing but fool around with his friends…YOU LIED!!!”

The anger in your voice has him putting up his hands in concern. “W-what do you mean-”

“In there!” You scream, pointing at the dance floor, “In your precious club – is a girl with a necklace!”

“A…necklace?” Yoongi squints in confusion, his head turning back and forth between you and the dance floor.

“A fucking necklace!” You roar as he winces, “A necklace…similar to the one Jimin wore some time ago…”

“___, there are plenty of ways she could’ve gotten that necklace, maybe she-“

“No!” You interrupt him, shaking your head vigorously, “That’s what I say! Those are the excuses I make! ...But not this time. Not when I recognize that special custom-made J pendant on her neck…”

You began to cry, hot fat tears rolling down your cheeks as your throat starts to close in.

“I-I could…couldn’t even see her face…I don’t even know what s-she looks like…” Taking a deep breath, you bring your hand to your mouth in embarrassment, “Yet I know her…because she wore my husband’s necklace so proudly. Like she owned it…owned him.”

Yoongi stares at you, at loss at what to say. The people around you gave glances and strange looks time to time. But still…no one cares long enough to stay.

“___...just calm d-”

“NO!” You scream again, cringing at the strain in your voice. “I won’t! I won’t calm down! I have every right to be angry!”

“I know that!” Yoongi yells cautiously, “I understand that-”

“No you don’t– No one does! No one knows how it feels to be in my position, no one- Or else you wouldn’t have lied to me!”

“You think I had a choice? You think I wanted to purposely lie to the woman who was staring at the ground a thousand feet below her like her only way out?”

“Just-” You bring your hands up, a sudden wave of exhaustion pouring over you, “I’m so, so tired…I’m so tired of being lied to, Yoongi. Please…please leave me alone.”

“__-” Before he could say another word you were rushing down the hall, out of the building. He stared at the exit you left from a bit too long, the bright neon of the sign hurting his eyes. Everyone else danced on, carefree, around him. His husband always told him this job would be his wolfsbane.

And he was right as usual.

As he’s debating whether to chase after you, a call of his name interrupts his concentration.  

“Hy- fuck, Yoongi hyung!” The pale faced man turns around to see the youngest of his pack shoving through multiple bodies in disdain. The taller man rushes up to him, breathing heavily, with a worried gaze.

“Taehyung?” The older asks with concern laced in his tone. What the fuck was happening? “What’s the matter?”

“S-she was…do you know where the girl who was just with you went? She was right here! The one with the red dress…soft demeanor…?”

Yoongi straightened up as Taehyung described you,  

“How do you know ___?”  

You sat at the edge of your world in silence. The winds of tomorrow’s past blew past you, your hair in rhythm with the fast-paced clouds above. For the moment, you would have preferred silence, but that was not a sentiment the city shared with you. Cars, honking, muttered chatter, you could hear it all. Passing through your ears like an afterthought. Your feet dangled as you held your heels in your hand. What were you thinking of showing up to that anniversary dinner?

What ever made you think Jimin would stop disappointing you?

As you stared at the glass structures you sighed, you always ended up back at the same place. The same kind of city, the same rain, the same broken heart. Perhaps the universe really was trying to tell you something.

A quiet hum stained your body, Keeping you sane from your sadness. It was crazy really, how many questioned can be answered in a day. With a deep breath, you reach out to into the night, stretching your arm. Hand laid flat against the air for a few seconds before you clasped it shut – as if grabbing something. What were you desperately searching for in the night?  

Your husband? Your life? Your childhood?  

Your happiness.

“Thought I might find you here…”  

It was routine then, the sudden loud beating of your heart. Your widened eyes, your frozen physique. The shaky exhale.

…

“I…tried to find you downstairs…in the apartment…but you weren’t there…”

Jimin.

You can hear him walk towards you. And you could imagine it, hands in pocket, the wind blowing through his hair, his relaxed stance and clear eyes. It had been too long…so long, just a couple days felt like years. It felt like something grabbed onto your heart, so tight you couldn’t breathe. You were too scared to turn. To look him in the eye.  

But you did anyway.  

And you just knew the universe hated you. It was him. It was him. It was him. His ethereal face filled with a halo no one could replicate. He was God’s most beautiful creature. How spiteful your creator must have been.

It was him. You wanted to reach out to him.

He stared at you, reading your eyes as you read his. But you both had stopped understanding each other’s language a long time ago.  

You both waited for the other to speak. Yet for some reason, you wanted this silence to last forever.

“…How have yo-”

“Did you fuck her?” You ask, your voice immediately breaking. His face turned pale. “When I trusted you…and waited for you…”

He looked away, mouth shutting and eyes squinting.

You had dreamt of this scenario a thousand times, and in each one you never came off this strongly. So, what were you doing right now? Why did you feel so guilty?

“You fucked her…did it feel good? Are you happy now that you’ve emptied your dick?” There was so much fury in each of your words, but you enjoyed watching him squirm. You didn’t even know half these words were in your vocabulary. “How has she been for the past week? Why did you even come, JIMIN? I waited, and waited, and waited in the pain of the unknown. All while you got your dick wet…And I always do that Jimin…I’m so stupid, aren’t I?

He says nothing.

“Tell me I’m stupid!” You slam a palm on the ledge, “Because you really make me feel that way! And for what?”

The tears you hold back wrapped themselves around your neck, making you struggle to get your words out. You wanted him to feel as hurt as you did.

“What have I done Jimin? What did…I do to you?” Breathing was becoming hard, your lips quivering as you stared at the beautiful somber devil. “All I did was love you, so why? Why do you t-treat me like this?”

It must have been an illusion of either your river-filled eyes or the bleak night because for a second you thought you saw despair and guilt inside him.

“I broke myself apart to try and fit into your world. Became happy for you, always did what you wanted, never questioned you-fuck I would’ve even had children if it meant you would stay with me…”

“God, I’m so stupid!” You roar, grasping fistfuls of your hair and pulling at it, “Here I was trying to be better, here I was thinking that those three girls had something I didn’t but that wasn’t it at all! M-Mina didn’t have lipstick on that night. She couldn’t have marked your shirt…but someone else did! Isn’t that right Jimin?”

You turn back to him, eyes wide and head pounding. “I thought there were only three girls…but there are many, many more aren’t there? I thought Jessica was the first time, but it wasn’t was it?”

Jimin finally looks up at you, and you realize you never said anything about Jessica. He didn’t know you knew.

“You’d been cheating on me…since the beginning…haven’t you? Here I thought I must have done something wrong after marriage…but I’ve been your plaything throughout this whole affair, haven’t I?”

He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. You slowly lower your arms, face and body still in shock.

“I’m so stupid Jimin…I felt special for a while…I’m so stupid…aren’t I?”

His face twitches, but his thoughts remain a mystery. You watch quietly as he closes his eyes, a soft exhale leaving his lips. It was too painful to keep staring at him, at the man you once loved more than anything. So you looked back at the sky, pleading for a chance to redo every single event since before you met.

“Jimin…” You whisper, voice pleading. Your sanity was on the brink and you wanted to be pulled in before you fell over. “Tell me I’m not stupid.”  

“I’m letting you go, ___.”

You really hated yourself in that moment. Your name coming out of his mouth felt so good, you almost didn’t hear the first part.

Almost.

“I have to let you go.”

And the first tear falls. Sliding down your cheek easily before the next one leaks. You close your eyes, letting the pain wash away at you for the first time in a while. The fall was long, you could feel the emptiness surround you. For a second it felt like flying, unobstructed and liberated.

“…”

“This has gone…beyond my control…___. I didn’t know what I was thinking, I just...” He looks at you, but you kept yourself inside your head. Arms numb and brain empty. “…I acted on impulse…I thought I knew what I wanted…I thought it was…”

You

“You are right…I have been cheating on you for a long time now…I never loved you…I just kept this charade on for as long as I could. And I don’t know why because I don’t love you…I d..d-don’t.”

That’s what you needed to hear, right? Just like that? Everyone’s been telling you this is better for you, haven’t they? So why are all your words stuck in your throat.

“I’ll go back to T…my friend for now…I’ll be back to pack up my stuff in the next few weeks.”

And with that he gives you one last glance before he turns. That was it, that was his whole explanation. What exactly had you expected? Why the FUCK did you keep expecting? You wanted to call out to him, your heart jumping out of your chest and latching onto his turned back. But instead of uttering a single peep, you listen to his footsteps all the way back to the door.

You listen as he touches the door knob. You listen as he twists it and pulls the door open slightly. All you do is listen when you can feel him hesitate, turning around to look at you.

For the strangest reason you remember the day you met him. That bright day, the soft wind and cherry blossoms. His bright smile and angel eyes, your innocent mind and open heart. It replays in your memory like your life flashing before your eyes. The wind picks at your toes and your body itches, yearning for something you couldn’t comprehend.

So much has changed since. This isn’t the same day, the same wind. There are no cherry blossoms, or smiles or innocence. You both are different now.

This was your chance to call out to him. To jump off this ledge and into his arms. But you just sat there. Listened as he turned back and left. And it was just you and the wind once more. The door closing felt like the cover of a book closing, that this was the end.

And against the fast-paced wind that night, you accepted your defeated.

There were no books out today…

That much you could tell as you stared at the small desk between the couches, dozing off as the sunlight from the large window behind hit your face.

Much like you, she also stared. At the distance in your eyes, the iris dim and face unreadable. There were many things she wanted to ask, many holes she wanted to poke. But she remained as restrained as her profession taught. For she knew the signs of unapproachable person at first glance, having read them countless of times over.  

Yet she couldn’t have you stay quiet the whole time.

“Is everything alright?” Lin spoke meticulously  

You didn’t answer.

She sighed, studying you as she shifted. What could she do right now to make you talk? You’ve been so quiet these past 3 weeks, almost like you didn’t exist. Last week you never showed up, Lin couldn’t help overthinking and dial your emergency contact – Irene, who dragged you over here in frustration.  

You had told her about Jimin, lifelessly stating everything that happened as if facts about your life that hold no meaning to you. She knew how much pain you were in, but your reaction to despair was abnormal since crying was the body’s healing method. It’s a healthy way to process emotion. Then the next week you became silent, were a no-show last week and didn’t speak a word today either. Lin had consulted Irene, who said Jimin had been coming over, taking more and more of his stuff which helped the therapist understand a bit more.

You were mirroring your safe space, becoming as hollow as your apartment was.

“___, please you have to talk to me. Just for a bit, alright? I can help you.”

“Do you ever…” Her thoughts were interjected as you spoke up quietly. She was instantly all ears. “Do you ever…want to redo life? If you could start all over again, without any of your mistakes…would you?”

Lin stared at you for a while. Your expression did not change, you continued to glare a hole through her desk.

“Well…that’s a difficult question ___. Even though a part of me wants to erase the mistakes I might have made… I think it’s important to have the knowledge of those mistakes…why I made them…what I can learn from them…etcetera…”

“Well what mistakes did I make?” You say softly, looking at Lin in her pretty brown eyes. “What kind of mistakes have I made…that I still – to this day – have learned nothing from?”

You were trying to hide it, but she could see it as clear as day. The barrage of emotions you tried to conceal in your pupils. “Why am I getting constantly punished and learning nothing?”

“Why?” You plead, throwing a palm over your head and slouching down in your hair, “Why should I always be the person in pain? I’m so, so, so sad and I can’t change that even though I want to!”

“Trust me L-Lin, I want to change so desperately, I want to! I want to crawl out of my skin and find a new body because everything hurts but I can’t leave me…I can’t leave me, I c-can’t leave even though he can…I can’t leave even though she can… but I can’t, I CAN’T!

“..and you know what hurts the most?” You ask her, to which she does not respond. “What hurts is that he left me…like I was the one who did something wrong.”

“…He left me.”

It falls dead silent after your outburst. The only sound echoing the room was of your steady breathing.

“W…why do they get to walk away whenever they want after everything they’ve done?”

Lin breathes out tenderly, her eyes on the glass table and the reflection of the sun behind. In moments like this, she wishes she really had all the answers for her patients. She really does.

“By she…do you possibly mean-”

“My mother.” You mumble. “The one person in the world that was supposed to love me unconditionally…the one who threw me away like a discarded doll…”

Lin blinks slowly. “It can be very difficult to deal with the trauma and pain from a parent who abandons you…” After deliberating for a bit, she speaks up, “Tell me ___, why do you think you’ve given your all to every authority figure in your life?

You sit back up after a shaky exhale. Nothing comes to mind, except Jimin’s smile. Life was exhausting.

“Be…because…”

Lin nods, encouraging you to go on.

“I wanted them to love me.”

“And why did you think being perfect at everything, work, household chores, unconditional love, would get you their love.”

“B…because…I don’t know…”

“Hmm, can you tell me the first time you noticed someone’s reaction to you being ‘perfect.’ A child hood memory perhaps?”

After thinking about it for a while, you nod.

“...When I was…in the first grade…I got an A on my math exam. I was the only kid and…and the teacher called my mom to tell her I got an A. I didn’t want to bother her so I didn’t do it. And…my mother…she smiled at me for the first time that day.”

You could sense Lin’s soft smile.

“So I tried to get more As but I guess she got used to it. When Jimin…when I would blush or be openly smitten with him…there was a twinkle in his eye. One I could never get out of my head. And I tried…so hard.” You close your eyes, “So hard to keep that twinkle alive even when I was dying inside…but I guess…even he got used to it.”

Opening your eyes, you look at your therapist. “That’s why I did it. So they could love me.”

You become quiet, playing with your fingers as Lin stare at you. Her mind was in deep thought.  

“___,” Lin sighs after a while, “You know that I can’t tell you to not be upset… you have every right to feel whatever you feel because what they did to you caused you great pain…but I think it’s time you learned how to love yourself. And for that we need to address the root cause of your issues.”

“My mother?”

“Your mother.”

You nod, contemplating what she said. Learning to love yourself? That was a concept so foreign to you. Could it really help you understand yourself? What could you possibly gain from it, what was there to love about you? Right now, you just wanted to sleep forever. Forget you exist at all.

Existence is a pain itself.

Maybe you should confront the cause of your existence then.

“Trust me ___.” Lin speaks, catching your gaze, “You deserve better. You deserve to love yourself.”

Oh, you just cracked the puzzle.

She had aged.

Your mom, who was always so tall. To you, she stood over all the towering counters and tables and light switches. Compared to her, you were tiny. Someone who always had to look up at her, stretching your neck and straining your eyes. At her, who easily touched things you could only wish to reach.  

She looks so small now. Wrinkles skin deep, frown lines too permanent. She, who was once the tallest person in your naïve, 5-year-old eyes. Someone you thought would always look as young, as beautiful.  

As cold.

You watch her, face trained to be still. Her posture was demure, lips sat motionless and eyes downcast. She wore a light earthy dress, full sleeves and prim collar…which was so very her. It was strange to you, how at one moment you wanted her to look at you more than anything. To acknowledge you.

But today you were content in studying her with a passive gaze.

“How have you been?” She begins quietly. You stare at her, then glance at her fidgeting hands in her lap.

The atmosphere was dim, a bit too lull for a restaurant during lunch time. Maybe you were suppressing the chatter and clatter, to focus on her. Again, how fitting.

“…I’ve been well.” I have not. “How about you?”

“Good.” She replies softly, staring at her steaming tea in interest.

You sigh, your shoulders moving up and down along with your breath. What were you expecting? This is a person you hadn’t seen in 3 years. Why would she suddenly be interested in you? Why should you be in her?

At that moment, you hear small laughter reach your ear. You turn toward the appealing sound, not sure why you wanted to find its source. Yet once you took it in, you understood. It was a child. A mother, and her small child. The lady was not much older than you, wearing a blue-green dress as she fed her daughter dress in pink a small piece of the steak she ordered. They seemed happy, content in the small moment they shared, and you couldn’t help but smile at them.

What a fantasy they were living, you hope they knew how lucky they were. Everyone seems to be luckier than you. For a while you felt like a kid staring through the window of a candy shop. Tsk, how ridiculous.

“I…I’m glad you are well…”

You turn back to the fragile sound of that voice. “It…I was happy to get your call…and you suddenly asking to meet me. I felt nervous…I don’t know why.”

Surprise was well written on your face at her words. This was not what you were expecting.

“And I…” She coughs as if her voice was raspy. “How have you been? H-how’s Jimin? I hope he’s taking care of you.”

She smiles then. A slight, delicate smile as she looks you in the eyes. This is not what you were expecting. Not from the woman who’s only given you cold shoulders when you’ve asked for warm arms.  

All you could think about was how she was never home for your birthday and the one time she was, you overheard her call it just another rest day on the phone with her coworker. All you could remember was asking her if she would come to your recital and she never showed, so you just sat there after the choir concert watching all the other kid take pictures and receive flowers from their family. All you could call upon was the time she forgot to feed you for almost a week, which was what made you begin cooking.

And for some reason, unbeknownst to you, you utter the thorn pressing against your brain.

“Jimin left.”

Her smile takes a second to drop. The color of her face wearing off as her eyes widen. Jaw parting as she looks at you, like a worried, petrified mother. It almost made you laugh.

“W…What?”

Concern laced her tongue and you felt anger as a natural reaction. This wasn’t it – it wasn’t how you were expecting this to go. The person you remember, the person instilled into your core would have sighed in disappointment. Gave you a cold look and a wintery frown. Told you she warned you. Why was she suddenly acting this way?

“_-”

“H-he left mom.” You say, your voice choking up, “You were right, once again. He left me, just like you said. Aren’t you happy?”

You spit the question with venom, your eyes welling up.

“___.” She repeats in that same pitiful tone. It sparked more fury inside of you.

“Aren’t you happy?!” You ask a little louder, the neighboring tables giving you a glance. “I’ll be signing divorce papers soon. You were right all along!”

“N-no, no.” She shakes her head, seeming as distraught as you. Who was this person in your mother body? Wearing your mother’s face.

“What, why?” You sneer, “Have I done something to upset you again, like I don’t know ask for some fucking food?”

“___, no. Oh my God, no.” She was crying.  

It was getting hard to see as you shook in your seat. The weight of the world felt like it was on your shoulder. And as you stared at the weeping lady in front of you, you felt like a child again. A child who hid under the bed, crying because of the thunder. Desperately wanting her mother to come home. But she never came.

“I hate you.” Your tough voice broke, “I hated you so much…I never knew how much I hated you until I found Jimin…even if his love was fake at least he acted like he cared. Why couldn’t you just fucking act?”

She begins to tremble. Fuck.

“I know…how much dad hurt you, but why did you have to hurt me? I needed you. I needed you, mom. I spent every single day trying to live up to what I thought were your expectations, I thought I had to earn your love. I thought-” You take a moment, shutting your eyes and feeling the aching beat of your heart. “I thought if I was the perfect child- if I didn’t cause you trouble, if I was quiet and stayed out of trouble y-you would at least smile my way. And still you didn’t…all of my accomplishments, all of the things I so hard worked for vanished just like that…”

“Tell me…why did you…abandon me?” You look at her and for the first time something feels different, although your heart continues to constrict. She looks so small in her light earthy dress, straining her shoulders and shaking her head.

“I am so sorry ___. I am so, so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you like that, ___. I am so sorry.”

“But more than you I hate myself.” You continue, ignoring the sear of pain on her face with every word. “I hate that I can never be perfect for anyone, I hate that I can’t have a normal conversation without second guessing everything. I can’t even ask someone for help without having a mild panic attack! Did you know that? I hate how I am so sad and weak all the fucking time. I hate me, I hate me.”

“___, please, please don’t say that. Please.”

“Why, huh? So you can pretend to have a normal daughter, if you want to pretend I even exist today-”

“NO!” She screams making you silent. You could hear the whispering of the tables around you, but you pay it no mind. They were the lucky ones, they wouldn’t understand. “So you don’t turn out like me.”

“…What?”

She exhales deeply, her face morphed into anguish, “I never wanted you to be like me, ___. Never. Y-your father made so many promises to me, told me he loved me so much. I was a shy, quiet conservative woman who fell into his trap. Then one day he just got up and left. A-and I was so stuck I didn’t know what to do! No one taught me how to raise a child, I had no guidance, no family and barely any money.”

You listen to her silently. The air was thick and her breathing rapid. For some reason you really wanted to dry her tears.

“A-And then you w-were born. B-but every time I looked at you…I remembered what your father did. I remembered that I never wanted a child. I remembered that because of you…I couldn’t go anywhere and do anything, and I was trapped in the same damned town for the rest of my miserable days. I was so lonely and ashamed…I couldn’t hate you though…I tried but you were so small and fragile I just couldn’t. Yet it was easy to pretend you didn’t exist. So, I did just that…to help me cope, I pretended you weren’t there. That I never met a man like your father and he never betrayed me…”

She looks at her hands, “But I was wrong. I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have have…but I realized it too late…when you already met Jimin…”  

You tense.

“Since the start…he reminded me of your father, and it terrified me. I was so scared for you, and I tried to get you not to marry him. But you hated me, and it was all my fault. You sought for the love I couldn’t give you so desperately, that it was easy for you to fall victim to someone who wanted to take advantage of you. I prayed for you…for your relationship every day, I wanted to be wrong so bad…I did ___.” She looks up at you with a frantic gaze. “I never wanted you to be like me, never ever. I did so many horrible things to you. I’m so sorry ___. I’m so sorry. I know you can never forgive me, and that will live with me for the rest of my days.”

Your mom looks back down. Her expression empty and tears still. It seems like she let out all she wanted to say and now she was a ghost. There was nothing in her…nothing. She reminded you of herself, which is why you said the next words.

“I can’t forgive you…” You speak softly and she winces. “The young me…can’t forgive you. The one who was subjected to your neglect. The innocent child striving for a mere ounce of love and affection. The part of me that you disregarded every day until even I questioned if I existed. I can’t.”

She physically deflated, as if agreeing with your sentiments.

“But-” You interrupt her acceptance, “The me now…the me growing and changing and evolving every single day. The me who’s learned to be happier…who’s learning how to find herself and converse with others…the me who has learned to heal…that me. I…can forgive you.”

And you watch her as she takes a moment. Looking up at you like a star just exploded.  

“I can forgive you, mom.”

The next moments were a blur. She seemed extremely please, beyond ecstatic and you felt for her. Especially when she cried like a baby, and you think she was the child now. You mother was the small one now, the one who needed your love. And you weren’t going to be someone who repeats her mistakes. Everything you said to her was true. You could forgive her now. It would take some time, but strangely you understood her.

If Jimin left you with a child, you would have the hardest time acknowledging it. All the pain you would feel could be unintentionally directed at it. You were so glad you weren’t in her shoes. They were bigger than you could imagine. As you breathe out, you feel it all leave you. The resentment you’ve held onto for years. The resentment that grew too heavy for you to carry.

It was lifted off your back and you could breathe again. There were traces of bitterness left, staining the deepest corners, but you will work on washing them out.

“I…know it’s too late…but I will try to be better ___.” She looks at you with her swollen eyes. It was as of you were staring at your reflection.  

“I think you already are.” You say with a smile, directed more to yourself.

You really were your mother’s daughter.

_

It was silence once again.

A screaming silence, that woke your inner most core as you step into the vacant apartment. You were so tired. The meeting with your mom ran longer than you thought and now you just wanted to drown into your bed. Taking off your coat, you hang it by the rack before changing into your slippers. Without a second thought, you bee line for your bed room ready to sleep today off.  

But you halt in your tracks as you notice something on the dining table a few feet from you. A stack of white papers. You look around you, as if searching for someone before you look back at the table once again. It had been a few weeks since that night. Jimin would come by when you weren’t around, take more of his stuff and leave. Half of you was wondering why he was taking his sweet time and torturing you…the other half was yearning for as much time with him as possible.

With a defeated sigh, you slowly make your way to the dining table. Every single inch of this space had so many memories attached to it. Each step felt like reliving it all again. Once you bump into a dining chair, you can read the letters as bold as day.  

Divorce papers.

Oh.

Jimin was working quicker than you thought. You expected his, but not this soon. It hit you then. That you didn’t realize how real of this was until this very moment, as you reread those big black letters in the stiffest font. This was real, it was happening.

Jimin was finally going to leave you.

That’s right, he gets to leave. While you were stuck washing out the resentment.

So, you let out a breathless laugh. One after the other until you were full on laughing at the situation. Oh my God, you tried so hard and for what? You tore yourself up and for who? There was nothing left of you, you gave it all away and what did that get you in return.

You were so crazy stupid, it was insane. You actually apologized when Jimin cheated on you. You forgave him multiple times. You starved yourself, you loathed yourself, you killed the young girl just wanting honest love and respect inside of you. And you cried until your eyes broke and you’re crying now.

You’re crying for the girl who once stood in that mirror, pinching every ounce of her skin till it bruised. Scourging herself for never being good enough. You’re crying for your lost dignity, handing it to someone with clumsy hands you thought were loyal. You’re crying at how you lost who you were, not only in the longest seven years of your life, but ever since you were born. You’re crying because that’s all you ever did for you.

How different life would have been if your mother had taught you how to love yourself? If her mother had taught her how to love herself? If the men in your lives didn’t continue to ravage you of all you could offer. It felt like some sort of curse.

Which is why you fell to the floor to let it all out. The tremendous pain and grief that built over the years, the horrible conditions of your body and mind. Every single pore had to leak, only then you would truly be free.

You’re crying because you wasted your life away. You’re crying because you treated yourself this way, when you didn’t deserve anything but love, trust, and honesty.

You’re crying because you learned too late of what – who you should have loved.

You were crying because your book wasn't written by you, but by somehow who couldn’t care less about you.

You are crying because of what is and what isn’t.

And trust me when I say, you’re crying for the last time.  

_

You woke up today and the ache was still there, that mind numbing helpless feeling of isolation.  

But instead of that horrible drilling pain to the brain, it was a small tremor in the back of your head. And for the most part, you could ignore it. Sauntering down the hall with your many files, you stop in front of the large wooden door and stare at the name plaque. The morning air felt fresh. Maybe that was why you took so many deep breaths. And another one, before knocking on the door.

“Come in.” You hear an easy-going voice and you open the heavy door carefully.

“Ah! ___, I was just about to call you! Great job at that meeting by the way, you really wowed the investors.”

Your boss sat relaxed at the front of the vast room, in the middle of her bulky brown desk like some sort of royal.

“Thank you.” You smile, stepping into her large office. The air was cooler in here and a shiver ran down your spine at the sudden chill that intruded your light purple blouse. Your skin erupted in small goosebumps, both from the temperature and the sights of your grinning boss.

Not that you didn’t want to see it, you were just so unsure of what to do when it would inevitably fade at the news you were about to share. It’s what you’ve been scarred of from your whole life, the thought of disappointing an authority figure. But seeing as how two-thirds of them disappointed you instead, you really could not care anymore at this point.

She watches you pace your way up to her desk, small inquisitiveness in her wide set eyes.

“Did you have something for me?” She asks, pointing to the files in your hand with her gaze.

“Oh, these-” You put down the big stack of gray folders in front of her, “This is just something you have to look over.”

“I see. And what about that?”

Your grip tightens around the envelope in your now empty hands. “T…This is…my resignation letter.”

Her stare shifts from the envelope to you, mouth parting to display her surprise.

“Resignation?”

Throughout your life you always thought your body was a strange one. The length of the reactions you felt had to be abnormal, you continuously believed it. Do others feel this cold when they are alone? Do others feel this upset at the sun for rising? Do they feel the deep ache of the tragic finale that was the last 7 years? You sure did. But you still got up, you still made it out of that wretched house that was too bare to bear, and you kept it moving. And to you, that’s what matters.

There was so much thinking you did last night, so many thoughts flew in and around your head. You wonder how others reflect back on their life. What regrets do they swallow, what makes them laugh the loudest? What parts do they cry the hardest and who do they miss?

You couldn’t tell, you’d only been you the past 7 years. It was useless to sonder. So you didn’t, instead you thought about who you were. On that cold floor of the house you cemented with your naïve heart, tears dried by the very air you hated, you thought about the past seven years.

And the past 4 months.

The rooftop, the club, the people in your life, the people not, the heart break, the longing. You had always been analytical, and it was safe to say you had found the answer you sought.

It was funny how the answer became so clear once you only thought about yourself, obscuring yourself from other’s needs for the very first time.  

“Yes.” You state undoubtedly, cold long forgotten. “I’m resigning.”

Another sigh as you leave the room. But this one was of relief. Although a bit upset at losing her best employee, she had taken the news surprisingly well. She even encouraged you when you told her what you were planning to do after this. Irene would be glad to hear that.

Although the pain was there, it didn’t have a hold on you anymore. You wouldn’t allow it to.

“There you are!” You hear, jumping in your spot as your palm was still on your boss’ door handle.

As you look up, a handsome young man with bunny-esque features jogs up to you. His left arm was behind his back, concealing something from your vision. All you could focus on was the strain it caused his muscles.

“I was looking for you,” He comes up close and you could hear his rapid breathing. His lavender scent gentle invades your space. You look at him curiously, watching the way his face falls as he realizes where you stood, “Hey, were you meeting the CEO? You’re not in trouble, are you?”

The fact that he seemed genuinely concerned made you laugh. “I’m not.”

He exhales a sigh of relief. “Thank God, didn’t want you getting fired for being in love with me.”

For the longest time you had been avoiding him. Ever since thinking of him in that way, you ran away from wherever you spotted him. Yet you had forgotten how easy-going he was. How effortlessly he made you laugh.

“Pfft, please.” You scrunch your nose, “You’re a goofball.”

He just stares at you, a wide smile present on his face. Tilting your head to the side, you squint at him.

“What’s the matter?”

“N-nothing, you just…seem different today…from last time I mean.”

“In a bad way?”  

“No!” He shouts flustered, “I-in g- a good way! You seem relaxed.”

You break out into a laugh. He really was the brightest employee. It was a shame you didn’t get to spend more time with him.  

“Thank you.” You say, as you watch him blush fondly. “I feel different. Relaxed, I guess.”

I’m no longer cold.

His gaze travels down, as if he had something he wanted to say. Your eyebrow quirks at him when you remember he still had his arm behind his back.

“What are you hiding?” You ask with a sneaky smirk.

He grins back at you, displaying his large teeth. Biting his bottom lip, he swings his arm out,  

“Tah-dah!”

There were suddenly a bundle of white roses in front of you, a gentle scent of freshness blew past you. You subconsciously took a long whiff, the pure layered petals creating a picture-esque image. Once your surprise passed, you were left doubtful.

A part of you had forgotten the bet.

“Roses?”

“Yup.” The man holding the bundle up to your face beamed

Scoffing, you place your hands on your hips. “Are you kidding? You expect me to believe you found roses around the building?

“But I did.” He pouts, and for a second you were ready to blindly believe him. Until you caught ahold of yourself. This lying brat!

“Where exactly did you find these beautifully healthy flowers, hmm? The backwall where even weeds don’t grow?”

“Yes, actually.” He states just as proudly, “I planted them.”

Your eyes widen at his words. “You did what?!”

He moves closer to you, you could feel his breath hitting you as his face was adjacent with yours. “I. Planted. Them.”

“T-that’s…Y-y-you ca-”

“Why not?” He asks with a mischievous glint in his eye, “The bet was to find flowers on the property, it doesn’t matter where they came from. And like you said, there’s some gorgeous land on the backwall.”

Your jaw drops slightly at his reasonings. You wanted to continue arguing but instead you just stood there watching him giggle in the most adorable way.

“You wanted pretty flowers, I got you pretty flowers.” He winks, handing you the roses. “Think of it as a one-month anniversary gift.”

Oh, right. He still thought you were new here.

His naivety makes you burst into laughter, the first genuinely happy expression you’ve made in months. It was mystery at first, but now you knew now why you liked him so much. The youthful nature, the sincerity he displayed was alluring. You didn’t have to be any front you had put up in the past in front of him, instead you were just another person. Someone normal for once.

“Thank you Jungkook.” You laugh as he proudly holds up his nose. Just as your eyes twinkle upon him, you recall upon something suddenly. Reaching into your pocket, you pull out a small piece of paper, your number scribbled on it long ago. Honestly, you couldn’t help but like him.

“Here. You earned it.”

He looks at your hand extending the paper, as your other holds the roses close to your heart. His heart beat quickens at the sight, you were so graceful and effortlessly beautiful, he wanted to know you more and more. Jungkook knew when he first saw you, the traces of a secret battle all across your face. Although he didn’t want to pry, he couldn’t help but let his heart be captured by the silent beauty that shone from you as natural as daylight.

“Thank you.” He mutters, his ears turning red.

While you look at him staring at your digits in awe, you found him to be an absolutely enchanting man. And you wanted him to know that, so you step up to him, softly connecting your lips with his cheek. You could feel him freeze under you, and it made you feel enthralled. It was nice, being in control for once.

“I’ll see you around, Jungkook.”

With that you sauntered down the hall, almost turning the corner before you hear his melodious tone stutter out to you. “T-this Saturday? It’s a date!”

Although surprised, you said nothing, just continuing to walk along the hallway. But you couldn’t help the grin that broke out on your face, thankfully obstructed from him, of course. You felt giddy all the way back to your office. Once you were there, you squealed in glee.

Through your small jumps and smiles, your phone rang, startling you. Already? You thought before checking the caller ID. In a flash your beam dropped, orbs beholding the name anxiously. How did he get your number? With a hasty sigh to calm you nerves, and an oddly guilty feeling, you decidedly answer the call.

“Hello…Yoongi?

Meanwhile, back at your boss’ hallway, a certain bunny boy hadn’t moved an inch. Argh, he felt so stupid. Why did he ask you out so fast? The plan was to first call you, maybe get to know you. But somehow, when you told him you’d see him around, it felt like a goodbye…the forever type. His gut told him he had to act quickly.

You didn’t even respond though…wow he felt dumb. Huffing, he rubs his face with his oversized hands. He didn’t blow it, did he? Should he call you tonight to make sure? Did you even want him to call? Well, obviously, you gave him your number!

As he was faced with a silent moral dilemma, he fails to register a young woman pacing up to him.

“Hello?”

He jumps with a small scream, which has the lady confused. She recognizes him though, he must’ve been one of the new recruits. Yes, the overly enthusiastic one.

“Umm, Mr. Jeon, right? You were just speaking to the supervisor, weren’t you? Can you give her this last gray file for me, please? I forgot to hand it to her.” With that the lady clacks away in a rush.

Jungkook stares at the file. She must have been talking about you. He smiles, thinking this gave him a valid reason to look for you again without seeming like a creep. This time, he’ll be more suave – more stress-free with his methods. This time, he’ll have his answer. The stretchy smile soon disappears, however, once the lady’s words fully register in his mind.

Did she just say supervisor?!

It was subtle really, blink once and you’d miss it.

Jimin softly shut the door behind him, looking into the dim living room he never quite got used to.

Did this place always feel so empty? He thought, staring at the walls with disinterest. He’s never had to be in here alone, he realizes. You were always here to warm the spaces between the loneliness.

But who was here to warm you?

It didn’t matter anymore – you didn’t matter anymore. You had changed, you weren’t the person Jimin agreed to marry. The you now weren’t someone he recognized. Time passes by too fast; he couldn’t keep up with it anymore. That’s why he wanted to end it with you as quickly as he could. Wasn’t it just yesterday he was confronted by you? Was it yesterday when he broke everything off?

He really couldn’t remember.

Oh, but his body sure did. His face grew thinner every day, arms losing the vitality his lithe limbs always presented. It was like his body realized you were leaving him and began a protest of its own. No one from college would recognize the Jimin he was now, the one who started to speak a little less. The one who stiffened his neck and sagged his shoulders. This wasn’t their Jimin.

As he stared off at the dining table, his mind recalls upon that rainy night. Where the distance between you started to grow like poisonous gas. It was the first time he felt the detachment from your side, since before you had always made yourself emotionally and physically available to him. Needless to say, he abhorred it, he hated what you had become. All without understanding the irony.

Jimin was someone who never understood his faults, too busy picking out the mistakes of others. Another thing he slighted in was confrontation, because he’s never been called out. Only when he looked in the mirror recently did he have the worst of days, lashing out at himself, at Tina at his friends and coworkers. Yes, he kept himself quite busy. Everyone was beginning to leave him, and he was getting desperate. Running his hands through his hair, he starts to trudge towards the bedroom. He was exhausted, shifting between work, leaving you and consoling Tina. His scandalous lover wanted to make a life with him, he just wanted to rest, maybe for a month or two. It’s alright though, he could just keep himself in her safety for a while before running off to whatever new toy he found next.  

Once he’s inside the bedroom, he freezes involuntarily. The sight of the familiar place had his heart yearning. It made him angry, that feeling of attachment he could possibly have connected to you. You were nothing to him and these days you were a headache to deal with. He gave seven years to you, you should’ve been grateful. Now he just missed the old you, the you who would follow him blindly. Jimin wasn’t made to be questioned.

So why did he feel like puking his guts out onto the floor? Why did it wound him to blink? Face it, the voice inside sneers at him. You love. Someone like her. You’re pathetic.

No, he doesn’t.

Yet he recalls upon another buried memoir. When he first started dating you, he slept with another girl in the same week. That’s what he did to all the girls he ‘dated,’ it turned him on to know people desired even if he was ‘taken.’ It was then as he held the other woman asleep in his arms, you texted him ‘goodnight’ and a bizarre feeling came over him. Guilt. He became so afraid, he ignored you for a week. Until he yearned to see you again. And why exactly should Jimin deny himself of anything he seeks? The same situation occurred a few more times, till it became a habit like alcohol. Although it may burn the next day, in that moment you enjoy the carnal pleasure for what it was. Pleasure.

He would never admit that other women never gave him the same sensation anymore, that you and the vanilla and wholesome sex meant everything to him at some point. Never, ever. Because he didn’t love you. The beating in his head couldn’t convince him otherwise.

In all honesty, he didn’t have an answer himself. Why did Jimin marry you? He didn’t love you…you just asked him about it once. Subtly hinting to marriage when asking him about what his thoughts on it were. Of course, you’d want commitment, every damn bitch wants commitment. And in that moment, he should have shut you down. Should have used his charms to make your place clear to you. Yet he didn’t have it in him to hurt you. Instead he proposed to you the next week, thinking that you’d vanish like the other girls when he made his intentions clear. But why? Why were you the only one different? It wasn’t like he loved you.

He didn’t.

Which is why it was easy for him break it off with you, wasn’t it? So easy, that he hadn’t slept or eaten in days.  

He was on the brink, his conscious just needed a little more push to take over.

Jimin wasn’t here for anything big today. Just searching for a custom J pendant he seemed to have lost a while back. Sadly, he didn’t know if it was you or not – he didn’t know where it was at all actually. Maybe he left it here, maybe he left it with another faceless girl he fucked senseless. As soon as he forces himself back to reality, he begins to look around. He was already late today, and you would be home soon…he didn’t want to run into you again.

Cluttering about, a bit staggered from his lack of forte, he steps up to the bedside drawer in one swift motion. He pulls open the drawer, running his fingers through all the items present inside. It was then that he stumbled upon a letter.

Marked with his name.

He couldn’t help but feel curious, drawn to your timid handwriting on the otherwise blank paper. Picking it up, he opens it to find hundreds of words scribbled together. Although the words were slightly messy, there were no mistakes he spotted, leading him to think you must have rewritten the letter a thousand times.

His breath was in his lungs, his feet glued to the floor. Something inside him wanted to put it back – leave it alone, his nauseous gut giving him another warning. But he began to read it anyway. Because why should Jimin be denied from anything he seeks?

Dear Jimin, the letter began and Jimin’s eyebrow twitched.

I’m not sure how to write this. I’ve rewrote it so many times already my wrist hurts. But I do want to tell you all of this, and as I am not the best at conversing my thoughts across, I would rather jot them all down. In hopes that my heart could reach you through them.

I’ve recently done a lot of stuff I never thought were possible for me. I made a friend, I learned a new interest, I took up therapy. There’s so much I want to talk about! But I’ll keep it short. Even through everything I did, I thought of you. Every corner I turned; ever route I took. Somehow, I felt you were on the other side, waiting for me.

No matter what anyone said, it didn’t mean anything to me. Just you, Jimin. And I realized, how much I need you. How I can’t lose you. I lost my mother Jimin, I lost her because I wasn’t perfect, and I know, to you I am not perfect.

But to me, you’re perfect Jimin. Which is why I don’t care what anyone says. I’m scared of coming home lost and cold, I’m scared of losing my home, which is you. I know I haven’t been great to you these past few days and the truth is I was hurt. I was alone and scared, but I should have known...I should have remembered who you are to me.

These past few years I am beyond grateful for. Thank you for spending your days growing old with me. I remember all the little stuff. Like that time, we went to the theater and you ordered too much popcorn and the aftertaste of the butter lasted in your mouth for a week. You always said me kissing you made the taste a bit more bearable. Or what about that time I got malaria and you stayed up for three days with me in the hospital? I have never seen you so scared.

That’s our love, Jimin. Those days mean so much to me, I wish you would remember them.

No person can get between us, Jimin. I won’t allow them. I want to apologize to you; I want to take everything I said back. I’ll be better, Jimin. I’ll remind you why you wanted to marry me.  

I’ll be perfect, Jimin.

So, please. Come home to me...darling.

Sincerely, your loving wife.

The door slammed open and shut, breaking him out of his concentration. Jimin was too immersed, he didn’t even notice how much time had passed. All he did know were of the tears that lingered his sockets. With an aching inhale, he practically ran out of the living room to catch you by the entrance. It was like magic then, you were a sight to behold. A most beautiful fairy.

You were in the middle of removing your heels before you noticed Jimin’s presence. It made you halt in your tracks, your hand still carrying your small pumps. He holds you inside his gaze with such intensity, it makes you gulp. What was he doing here? Had he always looked this sick?

…Was he crying?  

In moments he was upon you, his strong arms molding around your limbs as he exhales into your neck. You were as stiff as a board, confusion and angst swirling your mind.  

“J…Jimin, wha-”

“I love you, ___.”

…

What?

“I love you, I love you ___.” He repeats, moving off you to stare into your eyes. His orbs were bright, glazed but sparkly. All you could do was gape at him.

And in the midst of your shook state, you peak at the letter clasped in his hand.

He follows your gaze, holding up the paper to you.  

“Let me explain.” Jimin pleads, seeming sincere for the first time in…forever. “T-that night, our anniversary night, I wanted to come home to you. I really did. But Tina got into my head with and she...she manipulated me. Into thinking I don’t love my own wife! I was so confused, so instead I decided to listen to my carnal desires once again, push you out of my mind the only way I knew how.”

You were still trying to process everything. Why was he here again? “Wha...what?”

He looks sad just then, beyond exhausted like he was on the brink.

“I love you…___. Everyone’s leaving me these days, but you. You were always there for me.”

“…Jimin…”

“___, I…I have been in a lot of pain since I left. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat. I missed you so much. I never wanted to admit it, I always ran from it. And you were just…always so understanding…that I never looked back at my actions. Never thought what I was doing might hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

It hit you like a truck. Jimin apologized. This was the Jimin you saw that day after Mina. The vulnerable, broken boy.

“You’ve been coming on so strong…I couldn’t handle it. I thought I finally got the chance to break it off with you and be free…but I was wrong. I was wrong. I love you, ___. I don’t know since when but maybe I always had. And being away from you helped me understand that, the agony I felt. The yearning…I never want to leave home again. Your letter helped me understand! You make me a better person, ___.”

Jimin smiles, “So I’ll stay. I’m home ___. Thank you for bringing me home.”

Once again, he wraps you in his hug, ready to end the night with you in his arms. He finally feels free after so long, the spikes slowly removing themselves off his body. You were his energy, he realizes, you would help him get back on his feet. Finally, everything will be okay again, finally he can have you within his pincers once more. How he’s missed the delicious taste of eating you alive.

But as happy as he feels…he couldn’t help notice you weren’t responding.

Slowly, he unwinds from you, muddled. He takes a look at you, you who didn’t make any face. You who weren’t reacting to him the way he always knew you would.

Instead, you just glared.

It was his turn to be flustered, his turn to take a step back and process everything.

“___?”

“I…don’t love you, Jimin.”

Silence. As if you just dropped a bomb. His eyes widen, before squinting at you.

“W-what? Since when?” He almost sounds offended

“Since just now.”

“…What are you saying, ___.” He scoffs, taking your hand in his. You weren’t wearing your ring…again. “You love me.”

“I don’t.” You say more firmly, removing your hand from his. Jimin just stares at his now empty palm in surprise. “I don’t love you Jimin, and I’m not sorry about it.”

When he doesn’t retort, you sigh. “Jimin, did you know…a few days ago…I heard my secretary on the phone…she was talking to her boyfriend.” Looking down at how close your bodies were, you take a step away from him as courtesy, but you fail to regard the way his face grimaced at your distance. “He told her ‘I love you’ and do you know what she said?”

You look back up at him, and Jimin wonders if you were truly asking him for a second. “She told him ‘I know,’ just like that. Almost like she took it for granted, you know. But I didn’t think of it like that…instead I was jealous of her. Because in her mind, she doesn’t have any doubts that her boyfriend loves her. Which is why she’s able to respond so casually like that…he gives her so much love, that she never has to second guess her answer.”

Giving him a moment to register everything you said, you pause for a bit and smile.

“And Jimin…I have never felt that way with you.”

He winces.

“I have always doubted myself, second guessed your love and honesty. I always thought ‘there’s no way he could love me’ and there was nothing you did to convince me otherwise. But do you know Jimin? Do you know how many times you’ve said, ‘I know’ when I told you how much I love you?”

“_...” His voice dies

“That’s what I want, Jimin. I realize, it’s what I always wanted. That unconditional, blatant love. That’s what I deserve. I went through so much…yet I held onto you still. No matter what anyone said. And if anyone was looking at me right now, into my life, they would think I was crazy. But it was just that I couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t do it, I don’t know why. I just couldn’t…”

There was a glimmer of hope in his dark pupils.

“Even in that letter…I held back so much because I was afraid of surprising you. I could never be honest with myself. So that’s why…thank you for letting me go. For leaving me. Do you know how much I accomplished when you left me, how much I couldn’t accomplish in years? I had an actual orgasm, I left my job, I’m going to start a restaurant with my best friend, Jimin, I gave a guy my number.” His face went through many changes; anger, shock, hurt. But you continued on anyway. “All of that, just because you weren’t around poisoning me. Leaving me was the best thing you did for me, Jimin.”

He begins to tear down, tears fall in his eyes and he looks away. His jaw was clenches and his nostrils flared, telling you he was upset. But you didn’t feel satisfied, you didn’t feel happy that he was as hurt as you had been. You felt nothing for him. Maybe except pity.

Carefully, you step closer to him. Taking his face in your palm.  

“And I hope, Jimin, that leaving me helps you as well. That you stop chasing after meaningless convictions and you find whatever it is that can keep you grounded. You’ve hurt a lot of people Jimin, and for that you will suffer a lot as well. Me, all the girls and people you threw away after using. We never could help each other together, but we can help each other apart. It’s going to stab for a while, and you’ll feel as cold for a very long time. But then, I’ll pray for you to learn Jimin. I’ll try.”

And that was that, the ache lingering in your heart, was pushed all the way down to your stomach. It was still there, but not bothering you as much. Not controlling your destiny any longer. In your senses a melody played in the background; a constricted melancholic piano melody dedicated to love, to the happiness and woes.

This man you stared at, the man you once loved for seven whole years, who was he now? He couldn’t be blamed for everything, you had given him chances to hurt you again and again after all. More importantly, who were you? Definitely not the same woman you’d been when you first found out about Jessica. Not Mina. Not even the new one. You were changing, always evolving and you were proud of that.

You really were so thankful that Jimin had decided not to come home that night. That he continuously left you alone, to stand on your own. Because now your legs felt stronger than ever. There were a lot of people you were thankful for, a lot left to confront but this was your story. So good job you. Your love was first and foremost for yourself. Of course, you’ll continue therapy, you’ll work hard to open a new restaurant, you’ll try to give yourself the happiness you always deserved. Not every day would be great, some days you were going to struggle and there would be a lot of tears. But they’ll be your tears, your struggles, your joy, they won’t be based off of some other person’s mood.

This was only the end of Jimin’s chapter. Your real story will begin from today.

You were never going to convince yourself otherwise. Were never going to push down your feelings and act like they didn’t exist. That was the least Jimin had taught you.

It really was nice outside that rotten cocoon.

He was quiet for the first time in ages, and you honestly preferred silence from him. There were a lot of stupid things he said once he opened his mouth. Why should he become a better person from your pain? What kind of creator allows that?

After a moment of staring at his lost soul, you take a deep breath, exhaling softly. You couldn’t stay here too long, Yoongi had called you, getting your number off someone named Joy, asking you to come over to Cypher Road. He wanted to apologize for that night, as well as meet someone. If Jimin needed help, he should go search for it like an adult.

“Ok, umm…finish up whatever you were up to…I have to head out.” You say, turning around. Jimin doesn’t respond, but you couldn’t care less how he feels right now. “And I signed the divorce papers, they are on your shelf in the closet. Tell me when they are finalized, I’ll be free all week.”

You turn the door handle, pulling the door open halfway before remembering something and spinning back to him.  

“Not… Saturday though. I have a date.”

[kurt-nightcrawler]

destress

Scott Summers x Female Reader

request: OMG, I love your page so much. It’s so pretty and beyond beautifully thought out. 💕 i was wondering if I could please request a Scott Summers x reader. Something where she helps Scott adjust to everything when he first arrives and she’s always checking up on him to make sure it’s all good, they become quick best friends and on one of the nights where he’s most stressed, she takes him out to get his mind off of things. Thank you for your time and consideration! 🥰♥️

a/n: I am so sorry this request took so long! I am one of the slowest writers in history, I am so sorry! I hope you enjoy it

Word Count: 3.4k

 Being the new kid sucked, everyone knew this. Even if you ended up popular as the new kid it sucked.

It was even worse if you had laser eyes that could kill people, and you had to wear sunglasses all the time. 

That’s how it was for Scott Summers, younger brother of Alex Summers. Scott was a mess— he just moved from Ohio to Xavier’s in New York, and he barely knew anything about it! His brother didn’t say much to him about Xavier’s— hell he wasn’t even around much. When he was though, he tried to spend time with Scott and be a good big brother, make his parents proud and crap. 

So when Scott got a mutation and destroyed the boy’s bathroom at his school, Alex picked him up and took him to New York.

-

Scott’s first night was rather… odd. He couldn’t see, and he bumped into some weird chick who could read minds. Not to mention the building shook during the night. 

Scott didn’t have a roommate, so he had no one to ask questions. No one to help him around the building. No one to be his friend. 

Okay, he wasn’t that lonely. He didn’t need a roommate to make friends at school. He just needed to get out. Except he couldn’t see.

-

The next day he was taken outside by Dr. McCoy. 

“I made you some glasses… They should help you reflect the beam and trap them in the ruby quartz, so you can see.”

Scott didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he was desperate. To see again would be a goddamn miracle. 

He slipped them on and opened his eyes. He saw the sky… the clouds… the trees— it was breathtaking. How he took everything for granted! He was a fool.

“Thank you, Professor. Thank you!” Everything was red in some way, shape, or form, but he couldn’t care less about that. He could see and that was the most important thing.

“I’m not a professor…” Hank mumbled. “Yeah, no, of course. Of course. I’m glad they worked.” 

“Dr. McCoy! Alex said you needed me.” 

Scott looked at her. She had all normal features, so her mutation had to be something mental or along those lines. 

“Did he say what for?” 

She didn’t confirm or deny his question. “He said you’d be outside with Scott and I had to help him out since he was new and stuff.” 

Does she think I’m a charity project? Does Alex Think I’m that dependent? “You don’t have to do that.”

“Uh, I kinda do… It’s either me or Jubilee at the moment, and trust me, Jubilee is not the match for you. You pissed her best friend off so now she kinda hates you.” 

“I’m sorry?” What did he even do? Was Jubilee’s friend the girl Scott ran into yesterday? 

“Jean Grey, you bumped into her yesterday. She’s over there by the tree.” (Y/N) motioned to the tree. 

“Oh.” Scott felt sheepish. He didn’t mean to snap at her. He just wasn’t in the best of mindsets. Also, he really didn’t want any enemies at his new school.

“We can go talk to her if you want. I’m sure she won’t be mad, just tell her it was a misunderstanding.” 

“You sure?” 

“Yeah, come on,” (Y/N) made her way over to the tree and Scott followed.

“Hey, Jean.”

“Hey (Y/N).” She didn’t look up from her schoolwork. “Scott.”

“Hi. Hi, um… look I wanted to apologize—“

A group of smaller kids was standing a ways away from the tree, but near enough, so they could be heard. 

“Look, it’s her!” 

“Careful she might cause an earthquake!” 

“She’s dangerous.”

Scott saw the kids and thought they were afraid of him and his eyes, as he scared a couple of people yesterday. “Hey! It’s okay now. I got special glasses. I can see.” 

“It’s not you, they’re afraid of,” Jean stated. 

(Y/N) tried to hide her eye roll. “It’s not that bad. They’re little, they’re scared of everyone.” 

“What are you guys talking about?” Scott asked. “Wait… last night…”

Jean frowned, “Yep, that was me.”

“You made the building shake.” 

Jean nodded, “you’re not the biggest freak in school.” 

(Y/N) looked between the two. Did Jean have a crush on Scott already? He’d only been at Xavier’s for two days!

“Guess not… Um look, about yesterday—“

“It’s fine. I get it.” She waved him off.  “When your mutation first happens it’s a lot of stress and stuff.”

“Yeah but, I was a dick. I was wondering if we could start over?” 

Jean was taken back by Scott’s request. She never thought he’d apologize. 

“Oh, yeah. Of course, we can.” They shook hands and exchanged names. 

“And I’m (Y/N).”

“Um…” 

“(Y/N), we know that…” Jean stated. 

“Yeah, well I wanted to feel included.” 

“Okay.”

-

Scott, you had decided, was going to be so much fun. He knew his way around the mall and wasn’t half bad at Pac-Man. He liked Star Wars and cherry slushies, however, he could only see red due to his glasses, so you had to tell him which was cherry. 

Once you got back to the mansion… it was gone.

Everyone was standing out front, but as soon as you arrived it blew up and everyone was outside in the blink of an eye. 

Scott pulled over and jumped out of the car, running and screaming for his brother. 

“I got everyone.” A guy decked out in silver leather said. Scott glared at him. 

“Where’s my brother?” 

“I dunno man—“ 

“WHERE IS HE?” You had to hold Scott back from hurting the silver man. “No, no. No, no… No! NO!” 

Jean tried to soothe him with her telepathic abilities, but it didn’t do much, it just got him to shut up. You couldn’t even bask in the silence, as a military helicopter landed on the campus grounds. 

“Guys, hide!” Jubilee instructed. You all ran over and hid behind a hunk of stone wall. 

“Why are we—“

“Shh!” Jubilee put her hand over your mouth. The helicopter shot a sound wave of some sort, causing everyone closest to it to get knocked out. A man in military gear shouted at soldiers to collect certain people. He only wanted adults and you could only recognize one of them— Hank McCoy. 

-

Kurt got you all into the helicopter, but couldn’t get you out. You thought you were going to die, but that wasn’t the thing on everyone’s minds. 

Scott was grieving over his brother whom he presumed dead. He was crying silent tears. 

Comfort him. Jean urged you. You weren’t sure how, or if that’s what he needed, but you had no other options. 

You placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to show support and in return he hugged you tightly, still crying. You were slightly taken aback at first, but you returned the hug, rubbing his back to try and calm him. 

“He was supposed to do great things… Do something with his life. He shouldn’t have… He didn’t deserve to die!” 

“That’s not what he thought. He thought you were going to do great things, make something of yourself. Why do you think he brought you here?”

He wiped his nose with his sleeve, “How do you know that?” 

“Scott, he told me. He told Hank and Hank said I was the best kid to show you around, and then Alex went on and on about everything great about you and how smart and talented you were and how proud he was of you. He was so proud of you.” 

Scott wiped his tears away and nodded, trying to stop crying and pull himself together for whatever would happen next in the helicopter. 

-

Then Apocalypse happened. The fight with Apocalypse, where you were told to go batshit crazy with your mutations and fight. You felt alive, even with the weight of the world resting on you winning. 

There was so much happening, you couldn’t keep track of anyone but yourself. You had gotten hit badly a few times, but you had to trudge through. 

Jean and Xavier defeated Apocalypse with their powers— it was cool what Jean did. Scary, but cool. They both nearly passed out due to the strain it took on them. 

You ended up back at the pile of rock left of the mansion, most of the students in a state of panic, but all in awe when seeing everyone in the armor, mutations on full display. 

You didn’t want to get Scott’s hopes up, but you couldn’t find Alex, no matter what you did. He had to be dead, under the rock somewhere. 

You held his hand, giving it a caring squeeze. “I’m sorry.” 

“I’ll have to tell my parents once Jean and Magento finish rebuilding the mansion.” 

“Yeah…” 

-

The mansion was almost finished, and there was no sign of Alex. You and Scott had given up hope, but for some reason, Hank persisted. “He can’t… He can’t be dead! This wasn’t supposed to happen!” 

And then you realized Hank wasn’t completely crazy after all. 

A body was trapped under the basement when Jean and Erik were rebuilding. Everyone thought it was Alex. It was Alex, but you weren’t sure if he was alive. 

“He’s unconscious, but he’s alive.” 

Scott jumped up and hugged Hank, thanking him for everything and for finding Alex. 

“He means a lot to us both. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.” 

Obviously, an unconscious mind takes time to wake up, and Scott wasn’t allowed to stay at Alex’s side all day. Charles made sure he knew that wasn’t allowed, and he used you to keep track and make sure he wasn’t sneaking down at odd hours of the night or skipping class to see him. 

You offered to help Scott set up his room, mostly because you didn’t care much about yours for the time being. 

“You have a lot of old rock albums.” You stated while placing them all on his bookshelf.

“Most of them were Alex’s.” 

“That’s cool. Did he give you all his old stuff?” 

“Uh, yeah. Most of it, anyway. I have some of his old clothes— leather jackets and stuff, mostly.” 

“Oh, that’s really cool. I guess you guys were close.” 

He nodded, “Yeah, close as we could get, anyway, with the large age gap and all. I really care about him.” 

Peter, Scott’s new roommate and the silver guy who saved everyone from the mansion explosion, came in with some of his own stuff. 

“Hey, guys.” 

“Hi, Pete.” You greeted back. 

“Look, Scott—“

“It’s okay. I know what you’re going to say.” 

“No,” Peter shook his head, “I feel awful about it. Forgetting your brother like that. I’m so sorry. If it were me and someone forgot my sisters in a situation like that, I’d get super angry.”

Scott shrugged, “It’s okay. You got everyone else though— and that’s a lot of people.” 

“Alright… Friends?” He held out his hand for Scott to shake. 

“Friends.” 

They shook on it, and you tried not to laugh at how cheesy the motion was, but you still let out a comment. 

“You’re roommates. You kinda have to be friends.” 

“Huh, I guess so,” Peter mused. 

-

Alex woke up almost two months after the Apocalypse battle. You and Scott were the first to run down and see him. He was in rough condition, but he was alive nonetheless.

“Hey, Scott.” Alex croaked out.

Scott hugged him tightly, “You’re so stupid! I was so worried! Hank was worried, we all freaked out— never do that again.” 

“You don’t have to worry about me. It’s supposed to be the other way around.”

“You almost died! Of course, I’m going to worry about you.”

Alex mumbled something back, but you didn’t hear it.

Hank was there too, contributing to the conversation until Xavier came down and told you all to leave Alex alone so he could rest. 

-

As time went on, you kept an eye on Scott. You were in the same friend group, so that was inevitable. 

You got extremely close— closer than almost anyone else in the group, minus Jubilee and Jean. You told each other about your worries, secrets, past troubles, and your crushes. Scott, despite his persona of a douchebag with sunglasses, or token white guy in an action film, was sweet and empathetic, and smart. He took two AP classes and spent more time training than anyone else. 

“I just want to get control of my mutation and throw better punches.”

“I know. Just don’t overwork yourself.” 

He always said, “Don’t worry about me. I won’t.” But you always worried. He was probably your best friend at the mansion, of course, you’d worry!

-

Winter break came closer and closer with every passing day, which meant midterms were right around the corner. 

Everyone was stressed— downing immortal amounts of caffeine, watching the sunrise and set every day, and rereading notes until their brains exploded. 

Scott was not excused from this, and the night before his first final he was up way past any reasonable hours, studying. 

There was a somewhat-quiet knock on the door, and Scott barely acknowledged it. 

“Hey, dork.”

“Can’t talk.”

You huffed, “You’re no fun.” 

“Sorry, but I really cannot fail any finals.” 

“Scotty, you’ve been studying every second for the past month… C’mon…” You whined.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. You grinned, knowing you’d won. 

“Come on, 7/11 is open late. You can get some food and water. Relax from all this stress… Please?” 

Scott closed his book and got up out of his chair. “Fine.”

“Yes!” You cheered. 

“Let me grab my jacket.” 

You were thrilled you got Scott away from his books for a little bit. You needed a break and it felt like you hadn’t seen him as much as usual. 

-

You talked the whole walk down to the garage. Scott just listened. He liked listening to you speak— about your day, petty drama with your friends, plus anything and everything in between— Scott likes the sound of your voice, and even if you didn’t know what you were saying, it sounded right. Or it did to him, anyway. 

And that was a part of having a best friend, right? 

Scott couldn’t tell, but he thought so. He’d never been this close with a friend before, and he had also never had a real crush on anyone before. 

Crush? I don’t have a crush on, (Y/N). We’re just close. She’s my best friend…

But how many times had that cliche been fulfilled? 

“Scotty?” No response. (Y/N), also couldn’t read his face due to the sunglasses, so she really didn’t know what he was thinking. 

“Scott?” 

“What?”

You chuckled a little, “You zoned out there, buddy.” 

“Oh…” His cheeks were tinted red. 

“You, okay?”

He nodded, picking out keys to one of the cars.

“It’s my turn to drive!” You told him. 

“Yeah, but it’s my turn to pick out the car,” He retorted. 

You rolled your eyes as he tossed you the keys and you unlocked the car. 

Scott climbed into the passenger seat and immediately turned on the radio. “So where are we going?”

“7/11. I want a slushie. Plus—“ You glanced at the clock for a moment. “—It’s the only place open.” 

Scott hummed in agreement. 

You drove in silence for a little bit until you caught Scott staring at you.

 He quickly looked away.  

“Is there something on my face?” 

“No.” He was curt with his answer.

“Why were you looking at me then?” 

“I’ve missed you…” 

You smiled. “I’ve missed you too, Sike.”

 You pulled up to the gas station. It was well lit, considering the late hour it was. There were only two or three cars in total parked there. 

“I’m gonna get some gas first,” You told Scott as you turned off the car. 

He stood there and waited for you. 

“What’s Mystique said about our next mission?” 

Scott sighed a little, “A lot… there’s a chance we’re going to Germany to bust up the mutant fighting ring, but nothing’s for certain.” 

You put the gas pump back in it’s holding spot. “Really? That’s pretty big…” 

“Yeah, but, we fought Apocalypse, so—“ 

“Not everything has to compare. Sure, we don’t have to go local, but we’re allowed to not stop every big bad. It’s just not physically possible.” You held the door open for him. 

“Thanks— It’s our responsibility. If we don’t do it, who will?”

You browsed the snack isles, not giving him an answer. Scott stood there, waiting for one, but knowing you probably couldn’t give it. 

“Oh! Um, look— you’re one person, Scotty, and we’re a team of like, 12 people. What we accomplish is huge! But we won’t win every battle. Losing sucks, I know, but you can’t stress yourself out over it…”

“I just don’t want to regret anything.” He finally picked out a bag of chips. They were plain as could be. 

“I get that, but you can’t spend your whole life doting on ‘what if’s’.” 

You put your items on the counter to be rung up. You pulled your card out of your pocket, but Scott stopped you.

“Here, I got it.” 

“You sure?”

“Yeah, it’s only a couple of dollars.” He handed his card to the cashier. 

“Do you guys need a bag?”

“No, we’re good. Thank you though.” You grabbed your drink and snacks and bid the cashier goodnight. Scott did the same.

“So, now what?” Scott asked once he got in the car.

“Let’s just eat in the car. It’s a change of scenery from the mansion.”

“(Y/N), this isn’t a change of scenery, this is a murder scene!” 

You laughed, “It’s not dark enough for that!” 

Scott huffed.

“Look, if you really wanna die, I can drive us to the park, or Target parking lot.” 

“No, no,” Scott said in between sips of his slushie. “This is fine— perfect actually.” 

You were smug. 

You ate your food in silence for a little bit, exchanging weird glances with Scott. 

“What?” You asked, laughing out of confusion. 

“You’re really pretty,” Scott admitted.

“Pfft…” You scoffed.

“I mean it… You’re a great friend too…” 

“Glad to know we’re best friends cause you think I’m hot,” You joked.

Scott rolled his eyes, knowing you’d never accept the compliment and it was stupid of him to say.

“You know who else is good looking?” You asked. 

“Who?” “Rob Lowe.” 

“From The Outsiders?” Scott asked in disbelief. 

“Mhmm.” You nodded. Scott chuckled. 

“Hey! You had a crush on Sara Anne from third hour for the longest time. You have no room to judge.”

“Yeah, and then we went on a date and I got over it… I also had a crush on Jean—” 

You nodded, and Scott swiped his drink back. “Yeah, but she’s dating Ororo…”

“Speaking of boys…” You laughed at Scott’s poor attempt to change the subject. “You went out with Warren for two months.”

“What’s wrong with Warren?” You asked defensively.

“Nothing! It was just weird, only two months.” 

“I told you.” Scott shook his head. “No? I thought I did. Well, anyway— He was like actually kind of into Jean, and like subconsciously in love with his childhood best friend… Her name was Candy South, I think?”

“Candy Southern?” Scott asked, leaning his chip bag over to you. You took a handful and set it on the center console.

“Yeah! That’s her name.”

“They’re dating right now, she’s nice.”

“Good for him.” 

-

You drove back to the mansion around midnight. You went up to your rooms quietly, trying not to wake anyone up and get caught sneaking in. 

“I’m sorry for being so busy lately.” 

You offered a sad smile, “Not your fault, Scotty.”

“We could hang out this weekend? See what’s at the movie theatre?”

“It’s a date!”

Scott’s mouth gaped open. Your eyes widened in shock. Why did I say that? 

“Uh… It’s not like a date date, but like we’re two people, going to the movies alone—”

“It can be a date if you want.” 

Your mind went blank. Surely you misheard him. 

“Uh, what?”

“I just meant, um, we could— never mind—”

“Do you want it to be a date?” You tried sounding confident in your words, but you were nervous.

“I don’t wanna ruin our friendship…” Scott looked down, avoiding your gaze. 

“Scotty, it’s okay.” 

He nodded, a little unsure.

“It’s a date.” 

“Yeah,” He decided.  “It’s a date.” 

Your face moved forward, lips slightly puckered. You placed a kiss on his cheek. Scott’s face turned red like a tomato. 

“See ya later, Scotty.”

[sophi-x-sims]

Dusty Ridge S2: Chapter 4.4

Friday Morning

♡ The Griggs’ Residence: 10:05am ♡

“Thanks for helping me with the dishes. I think the frittata should be out soon as well. And good thing because I’m starving. You should have really come over earlier.” Lauren started rambling, but she cut herself off, allowing Aaron the space to say, 

“You practically forced me too, and we would have, but we had to do our own present opening.”

“Yeah. Anyways, what do you think of Vanessa?”

Confused what she expected him to say, since they had only seen each other twice, Aaron, hesitatingly, said, “She’s... nice?”

Lauren quickly went on, unfolding the situation, “Dion actually asked me if it was okay for her to be over here, for Christmas, so I guess that was a win. But still, they’ve only been dating for a little over two months. Do I really trust her?”

“Why wouldn’t you?”

She pressed her lips together, unsure on how to word this, but ended up saying, “Well... because we may or may not have had a sort of- fling, in college.”

Aaron titled his head, almost quizzically, as he asked, “Lor, why don’t you talk to Feita about this stuff?”

Lauren rolled her eyes at him, wondering why today was the day he had chosen to be a prude. Over nothing, at that. “God, it’s not like I’m talking about anything sexual. Well not directly, anyway. It’s like me saying I had a “fling” with Dion for 10 years.”

“Still. This is bestfriend stuff, and I’m not that.”

Lauren sighed, and then said, “Well, Feita won’t talk to me. She’s been so weird lately.”

He furrowed his brows at her, trying to think of what small drama they had created between their selves this time, as he said, “About what?”

“So you remember that picnic, a couple months ago?”

“Yeah?”

“She went up and talked to someone on the side of the road during it, and she looked extremely uneasy when she came back.” Lauren stopped for a moment, recalling the scene in her head, and then said, “I feel like I recognize that person, too.”

Starting to have a clue on exactly who that was, he tried to question her farther, to gauge her current knowledge on it, “That is weird. What’d she um, say about it?”

“Nothing. Every time I ask she gets so defensive.”

“Why don’t you set up a playdate, with the twins and Ellie, and you two can talk then?”

Lauren responded, still questioning where exactly it would get them, though, “I guess. What would make a difference about that and before, though?”

“Well, all I’m saying is that she may have had a good reason to keep it from you. Since you’re batshit crazy, at least most of the time.”

Lauren raised her brows at his last statement, and was quick to say back, “If I’m batshit crazy, then mother would be a sociopath. But, you know something, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t even know what you’re talking about. All I said was that I know Feita, and if she’s kept something from you, she likely has a good reason.” Aaron shrugged, then continued trying to explain, “After you talk, and play with the kids for a while, you two will probably be just like before. Then she may tell you, or she won’t. Time will tell. But at least you won’t be bothering me anymore about your dating/ex-husband whatever life.”

Lauren nodded, still trying to sort the overall situation out in her head, but just went with agreeing with him, “I guess that make sense. You sure are being awfully rude though, especially to your dear sister, and on Christmas.”

“I need some sleep. Plus, I don’t know how to deal with all of your problems, dear sister.” 

“Okay, whatever. Go tell everyone it’s ready.” Lauren waved her hand at him, waiting for him to go.

“Wow, so bossy.”

She raised her brows, and with a small tilt of her head, she said, “I figured I’d channel some of your energy.”

He shook his head at her, and said an overexaggerated, “Ha-ha.”

♡  

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[atc74]

Heartbeat - Chapter Two

Warnings: COVID-19, Croatoan, Fluff, quarantine, Mentions of fever, coughing, (Each chapter will have additional warnings).

Summary: Sam, Dean, and Y/N are sheltering in place at the Bunker, researching this new virus that has created a world pandemic. But what happens when one of your own is immune compromised?

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1850

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches​ because she’s the best

A/N: I’M BAAAAACCKKKK, well, mostly :) I know I’m not the only one struggling with life right now, and writing has been hard. Thank you all for sticking it out until I was able to get something together for you guys. This is only temporary and will pass. Keep your chin up and try on your jeans every few days.

Heartbeat Masterlist

Like Dean’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

Previously…

“Sam, I’m sure you both took the necessary precautions. Dean’s a germaphobe by nature so I’m sure he is out there now, sanitizing his Baby already. He wore a mask, didn’t he? And gloves?” 

“He sure did. Got some strange looks and things got a little dicey at the liquor store, and the drugstore. I don’t know why people are still hoarding toilet paper and feminine hygiene products,” Sam said, a look of disbelief on his face. 

“It’s actually a psychological response to minimize risk. It’s an emotional contagion as well, so when it starts happening in one part of the country, that news spreads and it drives people, either by fear, anxiety, or panic, into doing the same thing. I get the toilet paper, since that is a need everyone has, but tampons, really? I don’t know why I’m surprised by anything at this point,” Y/N chuckled a bit as she reached for one of the bags to help Sam. 

“No!” Sam pulled the bags back from her. “Sorry. It’s just, um, can you please go wait in the library until I get all of this unpacked and sanitized? Please?”

“Yes, I can. Thank you, Sam. I appreciate you and am thankful for your concern,” Y/N smiled as she rose to her feet and made her way down the hall. She loved Sam as more than just a brother and her best friend. He had become her physical therapist of sorts, designing different workouts for her to keep her body strong when the MS wanted to take it from her. Sam had also done extensive research on different dietary and nutrition plans that people with MS have had success with combating their symptoms. Dean was her emotional rock, while Sam became the physical one. She lowered herself into one of the recliners and picked up a book. She’d had enough research for the day and some Harry Potter was what she needed to take her mind off things.

Now…

“Hey, honey, wake up,” Dean whispered, his breath fanning across her face as she stirred. 

“Hi,” she smiled, stretching. “Did I fall asleep again? What time is it?” 

“Yeah, you did,” Dean affirmed. “It’s just before six and dinner is almost ready. You hungry?” 

“Starving!” Y/N said, getting to her feet and wrapping her husband in her arms. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah. Just, it’s crazy out there and I’ve never seen anything like this before. Not even with the Croatoan virus back in oh six. That was small beans compared to the shit that is going on out there. We need to be even more careful than ever before. You can’t afford to get sick, honey. And I can’t afford to lose you,” Dean admitted. 

“You and Sam are taking all the necessary precautions to make sure that doesn’t happen. I trust you both with my life,” Y/N leaned up, sliding her lips gently over Dean’s. 

“I talked to your dad today. He is on his way to Rufus’ old cabin in Whitefish. He wanted to come home, but,” Dean paused, not sure how to tell his wife that her dad can’t be there right now. 

“I know, baby. And, he knows, too. I’ll call him later, let him know I’m okay,” Y/N nodded. “Let’s eat.” 

Over the next several days, the news reports were filled with more cases, more bodies. The National Guard was being mobilized in New York and Milwaukee, among other cities. Hotels, motels, and college dormitories were being converted into quarantine facilities as the virus continued to spread, despite the recommendations of federal and local government. Social distancing, shelter in place, and flatten the curve were terms used so many times in too many reports. 

“So get this. You know how Chuck’s been throwing this temper tantrum? Destroying all the other worlds he created? What if, and this is going to sound a little out there, even for us, but what if, this is Chuck’s plan for our world? He knows he’ll never get the ending he wants, Dean and I killing each other. So, he’s decided to spread this virus, create a pandemic and kill off humanity?” Sam proposed. He leaned back in his chair looking between Dean and Y/N. 

“Why wouldn’t he just snap his fingers and Earth go boom?” Dean asked. 

“Because it’s too easy and frankly, it lacks the drama he’s looking for. If he snaps his fingers, who is going to be here to care? If this is his plan, killing off humanity slowly, then it’s all over the news. People are fascinated by tragedy, driven by it, and he gets the audience he craves,” Sam shrugged. 

“So how do we stop him?” Dean pondered. 

Y/N shook her head, ridding it of the current conversation. She was going stir crazy. In the last week, Dean had cleaned every weapon in the armory and Baby. Sam had inventoried three storage rooms, even one he didn’t remember they had. She couldn’t look at another news report. 

“Dean, baby. I need to get out of the Bunker. Please,” Y/N begged him over coffee during the fourth week. “I’ve been cooped up here for weeks. I need to see the sunshine, feel the wind on my face.” 

“Y/N, honey, it’s not safe out there,” Dean shook his head. “I can’t let anything happen to you. You’re my world.” 

“Dean, I know. And I’m not asking you to take me to the store, or anything crazy. What if we just take a drive? I can see the sun, feel the wind. Just you, me, and the open road?” Y/N was practically purring in his ear. 

“No more than an hour, and I mean it, Missy,” Dean stood, pointing his finger in her direction. 

In less than ten minutes, they were in the car and headed down the dirt road leading from the Bunker. It was a beautiful, warm spring day and Y/N could already see the fields blooming with wild flowers as Dean sped past them. Placing her hand in his as he drove, she slid across the bench seat and smiled. This was exactly what she needed. Y/N was happy for the first time in weeks. 

If anything, Dean was a man of his word and just over an hour later, he pulled Baby back into the garage. As he helped her out of the car, handing over her cane, he pecked her on the lips. “Feel better?”

“My cup runneth over, my love. Now, it’s naptime,” she announced, climbing the small set of steps with some difficulty as tremors overtook her lower extremities, and she lost her footing. 

“Hey, hey, I got you, honey,” Dean said, scooping her up in his arms and carrying her down the hall to their room. He laid her gently on the bed before he sat beside her. “Are they getting worse?”

“Not worse, not better, just…there.” She closed her eyes, fatigued from the fresh air. “Would you get me some water please?” 

“Of course, you need to take your meds anyway. I’ll be right back, don’t run away on me now,” Dean joked as he rose. He rushed down to the kitchen for a bottle of water. By the time he returned to the bedroom, Y/N was asleep. He hated to wake her, but he knew how bad things could get if she missed a dose. With water and pills in hand, Dean roused her gently. “Honey, I need you to take these, ‘kay?”

“Right, okay. I fell asleep, didn’t I?” Y/N said sheepishly, pulling herself up enough to accept the water and pills from her husband. 

“Yeah, must’ve been all that fresh air,” Dean waited until she swallowed her meds, then put the cover back on the water, placing it on the nightstand for her. “Get some rest, I’ll start dinner.” He kissed her softly, pulling the blankets over her. 

Dean closed the door softly behind him, and headed for the kitchen, trying to decide what was on the menu. “What’s for dinner, Sammy?” He asked his brother seated at the table. 

“It’s a nice day, maybe we could grill up some chicken breasts. Chicken pesto linguine?” Sam suggested, raising his eyebrows. 

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Dean agreed, pulling out the ingredients for the pesto. “Y/N seem off to you?” 

“I think we’re all a little off right now, man. This thing, it has lower mortality rates than the seasonal flu, from all the reports that I’ve read, but it spreads like wildfire. The world hasn’t seen anything like this since the Spanish flu, in like 1919. But, exactly what do you mean, ‘a little off’?” Sam rambled. 

“We went for a drive today, just an hour, to get her out of the house, but she was asleep by the time I got her pills, and it seems like the tremors in her legs are getting worse. When I asked her about them, she just brushed it off.” Dean shook his head. “We’ve got to be more careful, man. I can’t lose her, Sammy.” 

“And, you’re not going to, Dean. She’s strong, stronger than the MS, stronger than this virus, whatever it is. I’ll figure it out. It screams demons, just like Croatoan back in 2006,” Sam tried his best to reassure his brother. 

“Yeah, but no one is going batshit crazy this time, with the exception of the hoarding.” 

“I’m still looking into it. I’ve got several other hunters on it, too. We’ll figure it out. In the meantime, I’ll do the supply runs on my own. You don’t need to be exposing yourself or Y/N,” Sam decided. 

“Thanks, Sammy. We appreciate that,” Dean said, returning to the sauce. 

~*~

“Hey, honey. It’s time to wake up,” Dean whispered, peppering her face with soft kisses, making her squirm. “Dinner’s ready.” 

“Five more minutes,” she mumbled, snuggling deeper into her pillow, but the pillow was not as soft as she remembered. She lifted her head, opening one eye to discover she was sleeping on top of him. “You were not here when I fell asleep. Oh crap! How long have I been sleeping?” 

“Just a few hours, but dinner is ready, then I’ll fix you a bath, and tonight is your turn to pick the movie.” Dean slowly sat up, bringing her with him. “How does that sound?” 

“Relaxing,” she yawned. 

Dean helped Y/N to her feet, grabbing her cane for her, since she hated being carried as a general rule. “Let’s eat.” 

“I didn’t realize how hungry I was,” Y/N said as she sat down. Dean took his seat next to her as the three of them dished up their plates. “This smells amazing.” 

“Sammy’s idea, honey. I’m just the cook,” Dean chuckled, passing the pasta. 

They ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes, everyone enjoying their meal. “Dean, baby, this is phenomenal. It’s nice to know if we rid the world of all the monsters, you have a fall back career as a chef,” Y/N teased her husband, Sam laughing along with her. She started coughing and reached out for her water. 

“Hey, you okay?” Dean watched with concern. 

“Yes, just a little coughing fit, triggered by the giggles,” Y/N said. 

“Yeah, yeah, chuckle heads. Now eat up,” Dean groaned, but his worries didn’t fade. 

“Honey, you’re warm. You feeling okay?” Dean voiced his concern as they settled into bed a few hours later. 

“Yes, babe. I’m just tired,” Y/N yawned, almost as if to prove her point. 

“We’re taking your temperature,” Dean said, getting out of bed to get the thermometer. 

“Dean, I think you’re overreacting a bit. I’m probably just still warm from our bath,” Y/N reasoned, but he wasn’t having any of it. 

“It’s just a precaution, honey. I’m sure it’s nothing, but this virus is not like others. It moves quickly and it’s lethal.” He took a seat next to her and shoved the thermometer in her mouth before she could protest again. When the beep sounded, he removed it and checked the digital readout. “It’s 99.5, low grade. But I’m still keeping an eye on it, and you.” 

“I’d expect nothing less,” Y/N yawned once more and rolled over, her eyes closing instantly. “Love you.” 

“I love you, too, Y/N,” Dean echoed, crawling in beside her and pulling the blanket up to cover them both. He pulled her small frame into him, wanting, needing to keep her closer than usual. 

Sleep did not come easily for Dean that night; he was worried about Y/N. Since she returned to his life, his nightmares and insomnia were few and far between, but as he lay next to her, his mind played out a thousand different scenarios where he couldn’t save her. He was hyper aware every time she moved, coughed, or even breathed heavily. He finally fell under, out of pure exhaustion, just before five in the morning, only to be plagued with nightmares of the same. 

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[gimme-a-hand-scaevola]

So I watched Wonder Woman 1984...

So not gonna lie, I have a weakness for female-led superhero movies and I really liked the first one, so I was geared up to like this movie at least as a story. I really thought I’d at least find it fun. Dunno if this is a hot take but it was.... it was so bad. It was narratively so bad. 

I’m not going to talk about the racism bc like it was 1. Super clear, nice job jumping to the weird emir dude using the word Heathen then um saving little brown kids with a missile, we get it. 2. Other people have done it better than me. 

So... as a narrative. What the fuck was going on in this movie? I have a number of points that confused me. They’re not in any order. Spoilers under the cut.

1. If you’re going to use magic as a plot, you need to like explain the magic??? Tell me the rules? Let me see it. What are the parameters. Stop making me try to figure it out during your bad chaotic scenes?

2. There’s magic??? Why can’t Steve just come back? Why is he possessing a random dude? So we aren’t going to touch Wonder Woman sleeping with Steve while he’s possessing a random guy? No? That’s fine? Oh she gets a meet-cute with the random possession victim at the end? Ok. 

3. Why does Wonder Woman lose every fight she’s in? That sucks. 

4. You can’t just..... tell me the villain was abused as a kid at the very end and like expect I’ll care. I also don’t care about him being a good dad? You never showed me anything to make me care about him? He started as an oil tycoon then became a con-man then became crazy IMMEDIATELY. Oh so...we aren’t going to like build up his megalomania? Nah, don’t worry about it, just make him crazy then show me a random kid and then like his dirtbag dad then give him zero consequences for his actions ok. 

5. Oh Barbara. Oh my dear Barbara, you have the coolest look at the beginning and then like clearly go on a date with Gal Godot, the hottest woman alive, then you get saved by her from a like super creep who attacks you. Ok so I liked it through there. Then she wishes for super powers and beats the shit out of her attacker. stg this is the best part of the movie, get him. Kick his fucking ass. Oh then she’s narratively punished for that bc shes... going evil? Then she gets half-goth for some reason and decides to fight Diana ok. So we watched the finale of GoT and decided we could... write Dany worse???? She’s honestly the only good character until she goes batshit for no reason except lady jealousy. 

6. Iol catgirl. That fight scene w/ the cat girl would have been better if they’d stopped fighting and sang a duet of Memories. 

7. Um... the heels thing in the first act... I don’t...get it. Is it #girlpower? Do we need Heels High Enough to Crush Men or whatever in the year 2020? Anyway it went nowhere, they did nothing with it and it was stupid. 

8. In order to make it interesting for a villain to go bonkers crazy we have to see a moment where he is winning and his power are like... actually helping him. He was immediately crazy. It wasn’t good. It was confusing and lazy and nothing. 

9. Sleeping with someone while they’re being possessed by your dead WWI boyfriend is.... rape. So... Wonder Woman is a rapist now but it’s cute??? And... Barbara beating up a dude who attacked her twice was bad??? I guest. That’s a cool message. 

10. Why didn’t Diana also get electrocuted??? If catgirl wished for Diana’s powers and then for extra powers and Diana wasn’t electrocuted why was she? 

11. Girl, you begrudgingly deciding to let your dead boyfriend stop possessing a dude is not the same as Asteria like sacrificing herself so her people can escape to utopia. Your armor moment is narratively unsatisfying. 

12. What the fuck is going on with this Truth thing? We had a whole beginning scene where we SAW that you don’t get rewarded for shortcuts then two (basically identical) amazon women EXPLAINED the lesson to us and then it... never resurfaced until Diana like made her absolutely nonsensical speech at the end. Is it really about truth? Or did you just google Wonder Woman and saw that’s like her thing? Seems like its about not taking shortcuts. You know... like Barbara did... and Max did....but ok... no narrative payoff there. 

13. Stop making Steve better in fights than Wonder Woman?? Let him shrink in the back like a girl love interest would. Why’s he get to carry her out? Why does he have the emotional powerhouse moment where she’s crying in the street? She doesn’t make a decision she cries while her WWI ghost boyfriend makes decisions.

14. The cgi.... woof. Ok. Catgirl was bad but so was the like...lightning flying... the lasso leaping??? Girl looked like an action figure getting hucked through the air. There was no like sense of weight and swinging. 

15. I’m done. It was so bad. It was confusing, badly written, inconsistent, and actively taught bad lessons. Only good part was they made Reagan really ugly and stupid. 

[petersasteria]

Anger Issues - Harry Holland

Requested? Nope. I’ve been meaning to write this for so long and decided “fuck it” whether ppl will read it or not lmao what’s important is I finally release some decent content and I like it and that’s important.

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Words: 4,307

Masterlist 

* * * *

"Please wait here and the doctor will call you when it's your turn." the assistant tells you before leaving the waiting room. You look around and see two guys there. One of them had his hands in his pockets, his hood up, and his head nodding along to the music going through his earphones. In short, he looks like your average everyday mysterious emo guy from high school. The other guy looks the total opposite. He was like the guy everyone liked, but not exactly popular. He was on his phone, chuckling from time to time. He was wearing a blue sweater and some worn out jeans.

You sit across from them and the two guys look at you. You give them a tight-lipped smile. Emo guys rolled his eyes, but the guy next to him smiles back at you. It wasn't a fake smile either. It was a genuine smile.

'Seems like a nice guy.' you thought to yourself.

The less emo guy puts his phone in his pocket and starts up a conversation, "I've never seen you around here before and we're here every week. What-"

"Can you just shut the fuck up, Thomas? Why do you have to talk all the fucking time?? You're so fucking annoying. Maybe that's why your girlfriend left you for that other guy." emo guy snaps.

You and 'Thomas' look at him. While you were shocked at his mini outburst, 'Thomas' looked like he was used to it, though. "You don't have to speak like that whenever you're annoyed at someone, Harry." Thomas tells him in a soft and comforting voice.

"Wow. Look at you being a big brother for once!" Harry says sarcastically. "And the brother of the year award goes to...Thomas Stanley Holland! Give it up for him everybody!" He claps his hands. At this point, you and Thomas are beginning to feel uncomfortable. Especially you; you've never met these people before.

Thomas looks at you with a sorry expression, "I'm sorry about Harry. Anyway, I assume you heard my name already-"

"Of course she did. She has ears, dipshit." Harry mutters under his breath before taking his phone out of his pocket and scrolling through it.

"You can call me 'Tom'." Tom smiles, ignoring Harry. "What's your name?"

"Y/N." you tell him. Tom nods before looking at Harry then at you. He gets up from his seat and immediately sits next to you. You were a bit... scared. A stranger suddenly sits next to you after his brother shouts at him in anger isn't exactly an ideal way of meeting and getting to know someone.

Tom seems to notice your change of demeanor and chuckles, "I won't do anything, don't worry. It's just nice to see someone else in this place on a Saturday morning. It's usually just me and him and sometimes Sam, our brother, tags along too. But most of the time, just me and him."

You nod and feel yourself getting comfortable with Tom. "So, why are you alone? It's hard seeing a psychiatrist alone for the first time. I mean, it's not Harry's first time here, that's for sure. But if I were in your place, coming here with someone closest to me would make me feel less scared and nervous. Even if they don't go inside the room with you, it's nice to know that there's someone in the waiting room who's waiting for you and who's there for you every step of the way." Tom rambles.

"My parents dropped me off and then they said that they'll come back for me when I text them as soon as I finish here." you tell him truthfully.

"Well, they're shitty parents." Tom crosses his arms, "No offense."

"None taken." you chuckle. "They are shitty parents, though." Tom laughs and shakes his head.

The door opens and the current patient quickly in tears. The patient practically ran, not giving you a chance to see if it were a girl or boy. You look at the direction they came from and see the psychiatrist standing there. You look at the psychiatrist in fear.

You turn to Tom and whisper, "Why the fuck was that patient crying? Is this lady batshit crazy? Does she always make them cry??"

"Of course not." Tom whispers. "All I know about that last patient is that they're always here three times a week. I know, because I've asked before."

"Harry, you can come in now." the psychiatrist smiles at him. Harry rolls his eyes and stands up, getting his backpack (which needed to be washed) from the floor.

"You'll get through this today, Harry! I'm right here." Tom smiles at him, cheering him on as if Harry were to compete at something. Harry looks at him, gives him a fake smile, and the middle finger before entering the room, the 'click' of the door being closed was heard immediately after he went in.

"Now it's just you and me." Tom says. "What do you usually do here when you're alone waiting for Harry?" you ask curiously, obviously bored out of your mind.

"I just go on my phone. Sometimes I bring my homework and do it here. But since I don't have homework at the moment, I'm as free as a bird." Tom answers. "Speaking of phone, let's exchange numbers! It'll be so much fun having a new friend!"

Thomas Stanley Holland was too bubbly for your liking. But you exchanged numbers anyway. Even social media usernames.

After two hours of chatting with Tom, you come to realize that he's genuinely a nice and friendly guy. You really had fun talking to him. Harry emerges from the room with the same mysterious emo look on his face. "Let's go, Thomas."

"Hey champ! How was it?" Tom smiles.

"Are you fucking mocking me?" Harry asks, his temper slightly rising.

Judging by the little time you've known Harry, you've come to conclusion that he's in therapy for his anger issues. You notice that the little things seem to tick him off. The dude's a fucking time bomb.

"Harry, I was just asking nicely. I didn't mean to offend you. Please don't get mad at me." Tom says in that comforting and soft voice.

An outsider would think that they're complete strangers who are fighting, because at this point, it's hard to believe that they're siblings.

"I wouldn't have gotten mad if you just followed me when I said that we should go home. I wouldn't have gotten mad if you didn't open your fucking mouth." Harry said in sort of a Draco Malfoy tone.

Tom looks at you and quietly says, "I'll text you." He stands up and follows his brother on his way out.

"Y/N, it's your turn." the psychiatrist says.

"Welp, here goes nothing." you say to yourself before going in the room and closing the door.

"Hello Y/N. I'm Dr. Joanne Moore. But you can call me Joanne, so that it's less intimidating." Joanne smiles. "Please take a seat and make yourself comfortable."

Joanne motions for you to sit on the couch while she sits across from you on the spinning office chair everyone loves. You do as she says and you let yourself relax as your gaze wanders around the room. The room was neither small nor large and the only light source was the sun shining outside; its rays coming through the window.

"I understand that you're new here. Where are you from?" Joanne asks.

"New York." you reply. Joanne hums and nods, "Why did you move here?"

"My father is English and my mother is American. My mom told my dad that maybe it'd be best to move to a new environment. She's basically sick of New York. Around the time she said that, my dad got offered a new job here with a salary higher than what he was paid back home. Then, the rest is history." you respond. You've been repeating the same response to your neighbors and to everyone you meet, so you completely memorize it like the back of your hand. You can say shit in your sleep.

"I see. Welcome to London." Joanne smiles. You mutter a small 'thank you' before leaning back on the couch.

"Would you like to tell me why you're here?" Joanne asks.

"I thought you'd never ask." you lightly chuckle.

-

"Y/N, is that you?!" you hear a familiar voice from your left side. You turn your head and see Tom with a smile on his face, "Oh my god, it is you! I didn't know we had the same school. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Um, I didn't think it was necessary?" your answer came out more like a question.

"Of course, it's necessary. We're best friends now!" Tom grins. He looks behind him and says, "Guys, come here!" A group of guys walk in your direction with Harry following behind them.

"Guys, this is Y/N the girl from therapy." Tom introduces. "Y/N, this is the gang: Harrison, Sam, Jacob, and of course you know Harry."

"Hi everyone." you smile politely.

"Hey you don't have an accent too!" Jacob smiles. "I'm from Hawaii. What about you?"

"New York." you smile proudly. You were beginning to feel homesick and talking about New York would make you feel much better.

"That's so awesome! I've been there once. It was family vacation and I had so much fun there! Maybe there was a slight chance we bumped into each other while I was there or something." Jacob tells.

"Are we going to class or are we going to stand here all day while Jacob tells his New York escapade?" a voice from the back startles everyone even though they knew who it belonged to. The five of you look at Harry and mutter apologies to which Harry replied with "whatever" and rolling his eyes before leaving the group.

"My twin has left, lady and gentlemen." Sam says to all of you.

"Wait, he's your twin?" you ask in shock.

"Yup." Sam confirms. "Hard to take in, right?"

You nod in agreement. "Let's go to class. I don't want to be late on my first day." you chuckle nervously.

"You'll be fine! We'll probably have classes with you." Harrison says, calming your nerves a bit. "Good luck if you have a class with Harry, though. He's hard to work with. He kind of wants to do his own thing, but he helps even though he's like that."

Harrison's heads up about Harry made you not want to share a class with him.

Luck wasn't on your side, however. As soon as you enter your first class, which is history, the only empty seat was next to Harry. You take a deep breath before walking to the empty seat next to him.

"Oh great." Harry mumbles. Understanding his issues, you bite back a reply and just take in everything that's happening. Everyone is talking to each other except for you and Harry despite the fact that you know each other. To be fair, you aren't close with him. You're closer with Tom, so you didn't know what Harry liked to talk about.

Just then, the teacher arrives and everyone went to their proper seats. The teacher looked like she was in her mid 30s. She looked nice.

"Before we start, we have a new student from New York." she smiles at you. "Please, introduce yourself to everyone."

Harry turns to you and sees your shocked face. Upon seeing that, he chuckles and shakes his head, "Just get it over with." Hearing Harry being normal sounded so foreign to you, but you took his advice and went on to introduce yourself.

"You don't have to stay here in front. Just stand up and tell us about yourself." the teacher says.

"Okay, um, my name is Y/N Y/L/N and I'm from New York. I just moved here, like, a week ago. So yeah...that's it I guess." you awkwardly say and you sit down.

"Welcome Y/N! I hope you enjoy your stay. My name is Mrs. Smith and I'll be your history teacher." Mrs. Smith says. "Speaking of history, let's get started."

Mrs. Smith began to discuss for the rest of the time. Five minutes before the class ends, Mrs. Smith tells everyone that they'll have a project that'll be done in pairs. You didn't know anyone in class except for Harry and Harrison's warning is at the back of your head. So to say that you didn't know what to do would be an understatement.

"I already have a list of pairs and I'll dictate it." Mrs. Smith says.

'Thank god.' you mutter under your breath.

'Fucking hell.' Harry rolls his eyes.

"Y/N you'll be paired with Harry." Mrs. Smith smiles, before continuing. You look at Harry and he looks at you unimpressed.

"I don't usually allow anyone to work with me, but since you're new and you're practically best friends with my brother, I'll give you a chance. That's as far as I can go with being nice to someone." Harry tells you. You just nod, still kind of intimidated by him. "Also," he says again, "back the fuck off when we're out together. I don't like it when people invade my space." Harry fakes a smile and puts his stuff in his bag. You just stay quiet and do the same.

When Mrs. Smith dismisses the class, Harry immediately left. Of course, you followed. You didn't want to be alone in a room with people you didn't know. You'd much rather be stuck with Tom even though he talks too much and is too bubbly. You'd also prefer if you were stuck with Harry and even though he gets angry all the time and he hardly says anything to you, at least he's someone you know.

As soon as you leave the room, Tom and the rest were there to greet you. "Hey!!!" they all greet cheerfully.

"Oh my god what the fuck did I get myself into?" you ask yourself, putting on a smile for them nonetheless.

"Congrats! You survived your first class in your new school." Jacob says. "Are you ready to go through the rest of the day?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." you respond. It wasn't even at least half of the day and you were already tired. Tom and his friends seem to have a lot of energy and seeing them really energized makes you tired.

-

Saturday comes around again and you're back at therapy. You walk in the waiting room and see Harry there. Now, it's awkward. Like last week, you sit across from Harry and begin to mind your own business. 'He did say "back the fuck off", right?' you think to yourself.

"Tom has a dentist appointment in case you're wondering." Harry's voice startles you. You look up from your phone and see him already looking at you. "It's just me today. Sam is at his part time job and I don't want to bring my youngest brother, Paddy to this depressing place. I don't want him to end up mentally messed up. He doesn't deserve that."

How the fuck are you going to respond to that?

"Oh, I see." you says, still not sure what to reply. "Thanks for telling me, I guess."

"What'll you do after this?" Harry asks curiously.

"I'll probably just walk around or go sight seeing. My parents are on a business trip and all my siblings have their own lives now, because they're older than me." you tell him truthfully. He nods and says, "I have nothing going on at my place at the moment and I want to get away."

You shrug, "Go ahead, then. No one's stopping you."

Harry just stares at you and it's beginning to freak you out, because you don't know if he's going to burst or not. Finally, after almost a minute of silence and staring at each other Harry speaks up, "Do you have money on you?"

"Excuse me?"

Harry rolls his eyes, "Do you have cash right now? I have some stashed in my backpack right now."

"Um, is that even importa-"

"Just answer the fucking question, Becky." Harry says, clearly starting to get annoyed. "Yeah, I do. Why does it matter?" you gulp.

"Good." Harry says. "We'll talk later after your session. It's my turn now." As if on cue, the door opens and the patient from last week quickly runs past you and Harry. He stands up, grabs his backpack and enters the room.

To say you were confused was an understatement. Why was he suddenly talking to you? You decided to text Tom about it.

To: Tom

Hey man hope the dentist thing is going well for u. Harry just said the weirdest shit and idk what to say or feel. Send help xo

You didn't expect a reply, so you went on Instagram and just scrolled through it until it was your turn.

-

After your session, you were surprised to see Harry waiting for you. He looks up from his phone, takes out one of his earphones and asks, "Ready to go? I'm starving." You just nod and off you two went.

Both of you end up at a sandwich shop far from the building. You both eat in silence and it's beginning to feel awkward; for you at least. Harry seemed fine.

"Let's leave London." Harry says all of a sudden, making you choke on your sandwich. "Jesus, are you okay?" he asks with no concern, whatsoever. He's more worried about both of you causing a scene.

You finally calm down and nod, "Now I'm okay. Where are we going?"

Harry shrugs, "Anywhere we set our mind to. I haven't been outside of London for years. Maybe we could go somewhere to experience a new environment or whatever."

"...London is my new environment." you explain to him.

"I know, dipshit." Harry rolls his eyes, "but you wanted to go sight seeing, don't you?"

"Yeah, around London not outside London."

"What's wrong with going outside of London?!"

"Why're you pushing for us to go outside of London?!" you rebutt.

"BECAUSE I HATE THIS PLACE!!" Harry yells causing everyone in the shop to look at both of you. You flinch at his words and you didn't know what to say. Harry angrily stands up, kicks the chair, and leaves the shop. All of the customers and employees look at you with pity.

"Poor thing." one customer said.

"Wow, worst boyfriend of the year award goes to that guy." the other said.

You gather yours and Harry's belongings and run out of the shop, hoping you're not too late to catch Harry. After looking left and right, you see him standing not too far away and you approach him.

"Hey," you say softly, "you know what? Let's go outside London." You decided that maybe Harry hasn't been getting what he wanted that's why he's always angry, so you'll give him a chance. You also started using the same tactic as Tom: speaking softly which is quite difficult and tiring, but if Tom can do it, so can you.

Harry looks at you and nods. Without saying a word, he grabs his bag from you and walks to the train station. Not wanting to get lost on your second week in London, you rush to follow him before you lose him in the crowd.

-

"So where are we?" you ask Harry.

"Dorset." Harry responds. "It's probably my favorite place. I don't know why, but it calms me down. I usually go here alone, but I don't want to be alone at the moment." You nod, you understand the feeling.

You and Harry walk around and he shows you the different spots he likes to stay and relax at and somehow, both of you end up on top of a hill. The view was remarkable. It was different from your view in New York and different from your view in your room back in London. This view gave you peace and you're starting to understand why Harry likes it there so much.

You both sit on the grass and sit in silence. Taking in the smell of the sea while your hair was following in the direction the wind is blowing. "How long do you usually stay here?" you ask Harry almost in a whisper.

"Until it gets dark." Harry responds. "Sometimes I don't go home at all. Not like anyone would care anyway. It's boring back at home to the point where it doesn't feel like home anymore. Back in London I just live in a house with three brothers, a set of parents, and a dog named Tessa. Being with them doesn't feel like home."

You nod, "Is that why you go to therapy?" You knew it wasn't your business to ask, but he's starting open up to you about the things he's feeling.

"I think you already know why I go to therapy. I had an episode at the sandwich shop." Harry laughs bitterly. "Maybe the question should be asking me is how I ended up like this."

"I wasn't always like this, you know. Believe it or not, I was like Tom." Harry admits. You didn't say anything, though. You wanted to, but you figured he needed to let it all out.

"It happened two years ago. Kevin, my best friend, and I were walking home from school. We didn't know the bullies from school followed us, but when we noticed them it was too late. For some reason, I was an easy target. So they took my money and taunted me and all that shit. I was used to it, but Kevin had enough. He punched one of the bullies and soon, they were nearly killing each other. I tried to stop them, but two of them held me back while I watched how the 'leader' of the group punched the life out of Kevin. Maybe someone saw what was happening, because the police came. The 'leader' threw one last punch and pushed Kevin before running. The two guys who held me back pushed me forward and ran away too." Harry tells you, his voice becoming shaky.

"I immediately went to check on Kevin and panicked when I didn't feel a pulse. One of the policemen called an ambulance. Then we arrived at the hospital and he," Harry takes a deep breath, tears falling freely down his cheeks, "he was dead on arrival. I guess he got pushed really hard and his head collided on the concrete with so much force. Lethal damage."

"Ever since then, I never forgave myself. I could've done something; anything. But I was just there, watching as my best friend die right in front me." Harry sniffs. "I can't help, but blame myself. He intervened to save me. If I only knew that saving me would lead to his death, I wouldn't have let him. I would've just gave the bullies what they wanted so they can leave him alone. He was the only one who understood me and he knew my secrets."

"I lived with that guilt every day ever since that happened. I could never forgive myself. My family tried to help me move on, but I couldn't. Every time they helped, I pushed them away. Then I started to get irritated with everything they did, like, why can't they leave me the fuck alone?! My parents decided it would be best for me to go to therapy seeing as I won't let them help me. Tom went with me the first time, because I was irritated with him the most. He kept bugging me. And of course, up to this day he still accompanies me." Harry says, wiping his tears.

"So," Harry chuckles lightly, "that's my story. What's yours?"

You chuckle too, "There's nothing special about it, really. My parents just think that there's something wrong with me, but that's not true. At least I think it's not true." Harry just nods for you to continue.

"I'm the youngest in my family. I have three older siblings and they're all married now. My parents are obviously so happy. In fact, they're so happy that they forget about me...all the time. Every time we have this little family lunch or dinner, my parents always ask about how my siblings are doing and shit like that. I've tried, you know? I've tried to push myself to talk to them, but whenever I do, my parents dismiss me and they tell me they're busy or they tell me to shut up, because one of my siblings are talking and it'd be rude to interrupt. I got tired and I just didn't try anymore." you tell him.

"It sucks, man. I have no one to turn to when things get tough. I have no one to be excited for me whenever I have good news. I feel so alone. I only had three friends back in New York and to be honest with you, they weren't even near the level of becoming my best friends. Sure, we hung out and stuff, but I was always their last choice to hang out with. If everyone else is busy, they call me and my stupid ass would answer immediately. Thank god we moved here. New environment is good." you sigh. "I'm really glad I met you guys, though. Tom talks too much, but he's alright. I now have one best friend; how cool is that!"

Harry laughs lightly, "Well, now you have two."

You look at him and give him a small smile, "Are you sure? I'm no Kevin, but I'll try."

"I don't need a new Kevin. Just be you." Harry says, nudging you slightly. "It's nearly getting dark. Should we head back?"

"Sure." you smile. Both of you stood up and grabbed your things before leaving. From that moment on, something told you that you wouldn't be alone anymore and it felt great to finally have someone by your side.

* * * *

Feedback please?

Tagging my mutuals: @sweetdespairbarnes @myblueleatherbag @fanficparker @tommysparker @lcvelyparkers + @justasmisunderstoodasloki (bc this person is nice to me sksks)

Want to contact me? 

[creepercraftguy]

Can you please do a Kanade and Kokichi interaction?

Hibiki? Hibiki!? Where are you sis?

Oh where could she be?

Hey. If you’re looking for your sister, I saw her at the cafeteria.

You know, it’s pretty rare that I see one of you without the other.

Huh? The Cafeteria? Really?

Who knows? After all, I’m a liar. I could be making it all up.

Tch...well, whatever...I guess I’ve gotta start somewhere!

Now hold on a minute Kanade. Since you’re here, I wanna ask you a thing or two.

Ugh! What is it? I don’t have all day you know?

I want you to take a look at these pictures and tell me what you think...

Pictures? What are you talking about no-

Wh...What...?

Gruesome isn’t it? Most of these people died in pretty tragic and violent ways. The one’s that weren’t were crippled for life.

I wouldn’t usually condone this type of violence but...

I must say I admire your handiwork...

“MY Handiwork?” Are you insinuating I did this!?

H-How c-could you even suggest such a thing!? I’m too pathetic to do something like this! You have no proof!

I don’t have proof, that’s true...but I’ve payed pretty close attention to the background of these people, and they all share one thing in common...

At one point, all of them have been associated with you Otonokoji Twins...rather...they’ve at least been associated with Hibiki.

Listen Kanade...You know the saying “It takes one to know one?” Well the same applies to liars. 

So...why don’t you stop it with the crappy lies? I’ve already done a ton of research...

...!

W-Well...

...well, well, well...This is going a bit far just to prove a simple point, isn’t it? But since you’ve already figured most of it out...

then what do I have to hide?

Oho? So you confirm my assumption? Did you really do such cruel things to all these people?

If I said “yes” what would you do? What CAN you do? Are you going to report me to the authorities?

Hm...No, I don’t think so...

Wait you...seriously won’t? Or are you telling another lie?

No, I promise that, for once, I’m telling the absolute truth. I won’t report you to the academy OR the police.

I mean, there would be neither a reason, nor a point, to me doing that. Right?

What do you mean by that?

There’s two ways of looking at it. First of all, even if people found out there was a killer amongst the students, it wouldn’t mean much.

After all, Toko Fukawa is actually the serial killer Genocide Jack, and everyone knows that, right?

That’s different. She has a split personality. I kill with purpose, and I have reasons other than being just batshit crazy.

I can’t help but comment on how surprisingly open you’re being about this.

Like I told you, I’ve got nothing to hide. You probably already know most of the details after all...

Hm...Maybe that’s true...or maybe it isn’t?

Kanade...what if I told you I fabricated these pictures to replicate the murders? What if what I told you about me knowing your identity is a lie?

What if this was all one big lie that I used to trap you!? To reveal your secrets and get you arrested!?

Well, there’s a pretty easy way I could solve all that...

I’d just have to kill you too! It’s easy!

So you immediately go for the more violent option? I see...how evil. I like it.

Although...with the way you’re saying it, it makes me think that it won’t need to come to that. Right?

If so that’s good because...

Despite how much of an annoying little shit you are...I don’t really have any sort of motivation to off you...

Well, that’s nice to know. Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to do anything like that in the first place.

Honestly, I didn’t really believe your words in the first place...I just thought I’d humble you by giving you a serious answer.

That’s the other reason why I won’t tell anyone about your actions...Or rather, why I can’t...

My status as a liar means that even if I told everyone the utmost truth about you, no one would ever believe me...

I see...I guess that makes sense...

Just so we’re clear though, if you get any ideas about hurting me in any way, shape or form, then I’ll change my mind before you have a chance to get to me.

Hey! I meant what I said when I told you I had no motivation to kill you! Um...but...

If you were to do anything to my darling sister...Well, that’s a different story...

Well, there’s no need to worry your pretty little head over that...I have no intentions of going anywhere near Hibiki.

Good, good...let’s make sure it stays that way...

Anyways...if you’re not going to report me, are you done now? Sorry if I sound impatient but...that’s exactly what I’m becoming.

Yeah, yeah, whatevs. By the way, if you’re looking for Hibiki, I think she went to the music room.

But didn’t you just say that she...?

Oh wait...I see...that was a lie, right?

Sure was. But I promise you that I DID see her at the music room. Or at least near there.

OK! Thank you!

Kanade Exaunts

...

Keh...It sickens me that someone as merciless as her is allowed to walk free...

[bssaz97]

After knowing what Jaune (D Arc) did to Ironwood and his men do you think Cinder would try doing the same thing Jaune went through but it goes horribly wrong?

Jaune D’ Arc part 2

Weiss: Let me get this straight. After you were captured, they took you to Salem’s castle.

Jaune: Mm-Hmm.

Weiss: Where it was revealed to you that you are a descendants of one of Salem and Ozma’s once thought to be dead children.

Jaune: Yep.

Weiss: So because of that she tried to convince you to join her side and rule as her heir. But you said she could, and I quote-

Jaune/Weiss: “Go fuck herself and her batshit crazy ass cult!”

Jaune: Yes I did say all of that.

Qrow: But because she didn’t like that answer she had you transferred to Watts’ secured hideout laboratory.

Jaune: Ohhh yeah you should have seen the look on their faces. Especially Cindy, bitch was about to blow a gasket. But anyway, continue.

Qrow: Right...so after you were brought to the lab, where Watts tortured you behind Salem’s back and tried to pry information out of you about the rest of us.

Jaune: Damn. Right.

Ren: When all that failed, Arthur decided to do try another test which involved putting you in the tube that we found you in. Which was filled with...I’m sorry what did you call it?

Jaune: Red shit. But I’m also pretty much it was Grimm essence.

Weiss: And you survived that, how?

Jaune: I’m assuming my semblance.

Weiss/Qrow/Ren: Ah. Right.

Nora: But if you’re semblance saved you, why do you look like a scary boy Salem?

Jaune: Well while my semblance kept me alive. Didn’t really do much else to stop the effects of the red shit changing my body. Eventually my body and semblance was changed to the point where I could barely recognize myself. Also I now need to absorb the aura of others to fuel my own and my current mental health is pretty fucked if I do say so myself, but what else is new am I right?

Everyone: .....

Jaune: Ok joke didn’t work. Got it.

Ruby: Jaune.....Do you know if...this is permanent or not?

Jaune: Well. It’s supposed to be an almost exact same liquid from the pool that changed Salem to what she is now soooooo I’m gonna assume that this is not reversible.

Ruby: Oh...

Jaune: .....does it really bother you?

Ruby: What! No! Jaune, I’m happy to have you back alive! You have no idea how much everyone missed you, how I missed you. I just wanted to know if you are ok with these changes.

Jaune: .....no. But I don’t really have much choice in the matter anymore so I guess I’ll just have to live with it. But anyway that’s my story.

Qrow: Well kid, you’ve been through a helluva experience. Come on, let’s get going before anybody else gets here.

Jaune: That sounds great. How do we do that?

Ruby: We were able to get ahold of a Manta to get here. Now come on let’s get out of here. *Takes his hand but feels him not moving * Huh? Jaune?

Jaune: Actually.....I have a better idea.

He walks over to Ironwood’s unconscious body.

Jaune: Hey Jimmy how’s it going? You look great! Say I was wondering, do you mind if we borrow your ride? No you don’t mind. Great! You’re a pal! *Reaches into Ironwood’s coat and pulled out a keycard.*

Weiss: Jaune! What are you doing?!

Jaune: Getting us a new ride!

Time Skip; Elsewhere....

Salem: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE’S GONE?!!!

Salem’s faction are all present in the War Room when Arthur had arrived to inform Salem of recent events. So naturally she was very displeased by the news.

Arthur: Uh, well...you see your grace, he didn’t actually escape rather he was.....recovered by the Rose child’s group. *Salem stood right in front of him*

Salem: Really? Very well then, for my next question I want to know as to WHY YOU LET THEM TAKE MY HEIR?!

Arthur: They caught me off guard you see! I was just doing my normal procedures-

Cinder: You mean dancing in your lab?

Arthur: My NORMAL procedures! And then suddenly the little ginger hell spawn bombed my facility.

Salem: And instead of securing my heir, ensuring that OUR ENEMIES do not get a hold of him.....what did you do?

Arthur: Um well.....you see.....I-

Mercury: Hid in his safe room like a bitch!

Emerald: MERC!

Salem: No! That’s quite alright young Sustrai, I believe that perfectly explains the behavior of our dear doctor here. *She stood up as her back faced the outside windows* So tell me Arthur, how are you going to make this up to me?

Arthur: *sweating* I can assure you my grace! I will retrieve the Arc, you see I installed a tracking device on his person after-! *Stops himself*

Salem: .....I’m sorry. What was that last part Arthur? *Side glances him*

Arthur: Well...forgive me your grace but I feel I should confess that.....I may have withheld some information about the Arc boy’s status at my facility.

Salem: Status...

Arthur: *Sweating profusely* He’s Fine! Really he’s just fine!.....for the most part. AH! *Magically pulled towards Salem, where she grabbed his shirt*

Salem: What did you do?

Arthur: N-Nothing life threatening! I think...

Salem: What did you do?

Arthur: I.....may have dabbled a little into..... Grimm Essence Research while he was at my facility.

Salem: .*Her eyes widened* ....what?

Arthur: But he’s fine! He survived the procedure perfectly. Honestly you should have seen the results, now he looks more like your descendant than ev-WAH! *Gets slammed into the front glass panel, causing multiple cracks to form*

Salem: Don’t you think that if I wanted him to be like me. I would have asked you to make so?

Arthur: You know I’m suddenly starting to realize that.

Salem: How much?

Arthur: W-What?

Salem: How much of the Grimm essence did you give him?

Arthur: uuuuuuuuuhhhh.

Salem: Arthur.....

Arthur: I put him in a tank of it.

Salem: YOU FOOL! *Throws him across the room, hitting the opposite wall*

Tyrian: Hehehehehehehe! Oh what fun we’re having today!

Emerald: Cinder, shouldn’t we try to stop her? I mean he is our only tech support.

Cinder: Shh! Not yet. I want to see how far she goes.

The negative aura surrounding the Grimm Queen seemed to emit off her person as she slowly walked towards Arthur. This caused him to scrabbles to steady himself on the wall, fear for his life very much on his mind.

Arthur: W-W-Wait! Your grace, I promise you we get him back!

Salem: It’s far too late for that Arthur. Even if you can track him down, you’ll never be able to recapture him. After all, if he’s anything like me now he’ll most likely try and succeed to kill you and anyone you send after him.

Arthur: Your Grace! I implore you, beg you to give me another chance. Have I ever failed you before!

Salem: .......You make a point. You’ve been faithful up until now, therefore I shall let you keep your life.

Arthur: *Sighs in relief* Thank you my grace...

Salem: But fail me again Arthur.....and I shall fill these very walls with your blood.

Arthur: ...I understand your grace.

Salem: Now go on then, it seems like you have some searching to do.....oh and take Tyrian and Cinder with you. Just to ensure you do not fail me again, right Arthur?

Arthur: Y-Yes your grace, we won’t fail! Come along Tyrian, Cinder.

The three followers and two subordinates of Salem make their way out of the room. Once they make it down the hall. They enter a second room where they can plan their operation.

Arthur: Alright everyone, since we all have our assignment from her Grace. I think it’s best we find out leads as to where the target is going.

Cinder: Before we do anything! Why don’t you show us exactly what you’ve been up to, do you have any record of the breakout?

Arthur: I do. But I must insist that we-

Cinder: You just claimed to have turned Jaune Arc into a replica of Salem, I think I speak for everyone here that I’m curious to know in what regard you meant.

Tyrian: I wouldn’t mind seeing for myself either of how the boy has been blessed by our goddess.~ I say role the tape!

Arthur: ‘Heavy Sigh’ Very well. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you...

Five Minutes Later....

Jaune: *in recording* What’s wrong Jimmy?! You were talking good shit a second ago! Why don’t you have one of your dead men give you a new arm?! I’m sure they gladly do it as they now have plenty to give.

Arthur at this point decided to pause the video as he’s sure everyone got the message. He turns to look at everyone and sees they have a variety of expressions. Cinder and Mercury have a pale expression of shock and fright on their faces, while Emerald had stopped watching halfway through the video to puke in the corner. Tyrian had a sickening gleeful expression as if he was watching a blockbuster movie. But that face dropped when the video ended.

Tyrian: Hey! Why did you stop it? It was getting to the good part!

Cinder: This.....is Jaune Arc?

Arthur: Unfortunately, yes.

Cinder: Watts.....BY THE GODS WHAT IN WORLD POSSESSED YOU TO CREATE THIS MONSTROSITY!!! AND WHY GIVE IT TO HIM OF ALL PEOPLE?!!!

Arthur: Look here! I don’t need anyone else here to tell me when I clearly have made a misjudgment!

Mercury: Doc this isn’t a misjudgment, this is a complete fuckin’ disaster! We already had one Salem on our backs, NOW WE GOT TWO OF EM!

Arthur: Look it’s not that bad!

Emerald: ‘Huff!’ Not that bad?! That.....THING turned a group of Atlesian specialists into burger meat! And you want US to go up against THAT! We’re going die!

Arthur: Don’t you think I’m already aware of that! I’m not even sure if sending a maiden will be enough to stop him! But I obviously cannot do this by myself!

Cinder: .....Then why don’t we even the odds.

Arthur/Mercury/Emerald: What?

Cinder: You were able to accomplish this process once. Couldn’t you do it again?

Emerald: Cinder. You’re not actually-?

Cinder: Power is power. And if I’m right that means if someone else had any similar abilities as him, they would be able to overpower him. Right?

Arthur: .....It’s possible. However I highly recommend that you don’t undergo such a procedure.

Cinder: And why not?! If you’re not confident in your own work than what’s to stop me from-

Arthur: I don’t doubt my work! It’s the person I’m concerned over.

Cinder: What?

Arthur: You see this isn’t the first time I’ve dabbled into this kind of research. It’s only the first success.

Cinder: You’ve done this before?

Arthur: Yes.....it’s been a pet project of mine for sometime. However, I rarely ever had any test subjects survive. Those that do.....well they are far from ever being human again.

Cinder: How?

Arthur: Well most that do undergo the procedure, turn out to be more Grimm-like than desirable. They become mindless beasts that slowly decay into nothing.

Everyone: .....

Mercury: Oum, how long have you been doing this for?!

Arthur: About three to four years give or take.

Cinder: If that’s the case. Why shouldn’t I undergo the procedure?

Arthur: Do you really think Salem would accept or be pleased that I turned her Fall Maiden into a mindless beast?

Cinder: If Someone by the likes of Jaune Arc could survive, then so can I!

Arthur: Absolutely not! I already have her eyes behind my back, do you want me to kill myself!

Cinder: I can take it by force if I have to! I have magic!

Arthur: You wouldn’t survive!

Cinder: AND WHY NOT?!

Arthur: Because you lack a sense of humanity!

Cinder: *confused* What?!

Arthur: This procedure isn’t just about the physical capability of the recipient but the mental as well. You think it’s only a coincidence that someone like Jaune Arc survives solely for his semblance and genealogy to Salem?

Cinder: Oh you’ve got to be kidding? You’re telling me that the reason he survived and became this way is because of his humanity!

Arthur: .....As much as I despise the notion yes. Also they have to be a virgin.

Cinder: Watts, you damn well!

Arthur: Thought but didn’t want to assume. But I’m afraid I can’t allow you to undergo the procedure. You’re too important to the mission and we both know we shouldn’t give it to Tyrian. *Both look at the crazed scorpion licking his blades*

Cinder: Point taken.

Arthur: Yes, for this procedure we require someone who is.....expendable. *Looks at the two others in the room.*

Emerald: .....Why is he looking at us like that?

Mercury: Because we’re fucked.

End of Part 2.

Had fun writing this one and I hope you guys enjoyed!

[thevioletjones]

That 100k hits tropes prompt sure makes a person want to slap together some absolutely WILD combinations.....however, I would like to present you with a relatively tame #67: time travel and #39: accidental eavesdropping. (PS--congrats!)

Thanks! What I came up with for this one is a little weird, and may not be at all what you had in mind, lmao, but anyway…. Rather than do a time travel scenario pertaining to IxM’s lives, I decided on them traveling to a historical event, and I also made the “eavesdropping” bigger and more purposeful. Lol. Hope you like it anyway! Shout out to @grumblesandmumbles for the time period/gangster idea.

July 22, 1934, Lincoln Park, Chicago, IL

“This was such a dumb idea, Mickey. There are feds everywhere!”

“Yeah, and they’re all busy tryin’ to nab literal Public Enemy Number One, so what’re you so worried about?”

“Um, I’m worried about the fucking time machine in the alleyway five blocks away, and how we’re gonna get near the fuckin’ theater since it’s surrounded by G-Men anyhow.”

“You read the damn biography, Gallagher. You know they set up a shit perimeter full of innocent bystanders. Coppers didn’t know what the hell they were doin’ back then.”

“You mean back now.”

Mickey rolled his eyes. “Whatever. This is gonna be so fuckin’ cool.”

Ian’s face scrunched up. “Your murder boner kinda disturbs me sometimes, you know that?”

“Well, you followed my murder boner all the way to the 1930s, so maybe you shoulda protested sooner.”

Ian flicked him in the ear as they kept walking. The Biograph Theater was only a little over a block up to the left now.

“There’s gotta be a spot we can stake out and see it all.”

Mickey scoured both sides of the street as they approached. They still had almost two hours to kill before anything would go down, but surely the rooftops would be occupied by some kind of rudimentary version of a SWAT team, right? Procedural details were always hard to pinpoint when it came to the past, and neither Ian, nor Mickey were exactly scholars with expertise on historical criminal law enforcement. Still, they’d never trust a man in uniform. Not after all the shit they’d seen and dealt with growing up where they did. Back in Future Chicago where the Depression was over in name, but might as well still exist for them and theirs.

Ian caught sight of an apartment building sort of catty-cornered from the theater that had balconies cut out from the brick. He nudged Mickey and motioned toward the building with his head.

“One of those balconies would be perfect. As long as we don’t get hit by a ricochet. Could be dangerous.”

“Dude, we found out we can’t change the past. We woulda known if someone in that building caught a deadly bullet, right?”

Ian shrugged. “I guess, but we’re still new at this shit. Anything could happen. I don’t wanna be stuck dragging your corpse back to the future.”

“Settle down, McFly, we’ll be fuckin’ fine. I could break into one of these places easy. Shit, it’s the 30s, people probly leave everything unlocked anyway.”

“If I’m McFly, you’re Biff, asshole. And we’re not breaking into shit. If someone calls the cops, they’re literally right at the doorstep. I’m not getting fucking arrested in 1934.”

“Why not?” Mickey asked amusedly. “Could be fun to break out. Dillinger and Baby Face did that shit not long ago.”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s just go watch your fuckin’ hero get shot up without the incarceration part. I got an idea.”

Ian’s idea involved knocking on doors near the front side of the building until he was greeted by a little old lady, to whom he then spun a yarn about how he used to be sweethearts with a girl who lived in the building, and how he came back for her, but she doesn’t live there anymore, and did she know the young lady? And it was a good thing they’d procured some era-appropriate clothes and props, because suddenly, there were Ian Gallagher and Mickey Milkovich, sipping tea and sharing a piece of bread and butter in the kitchen of some random lady born in the middle of the 1800s, listening to her tales, which were frankly way more boring than you’d expect given the space and time traveled.

As the clock neared the hour they knew shit was about to go down, Ian slyly requested permission to take the air on the balcony and have a cigarette with his friend, Mick, if it wasn’t too much trouble, and then they’d be on their way. She agreed, and his boyfriend giddily made his way outside with Ian at his heels.

“Jesus, firecrotch, cuttin’ it close with that old windbag.”

“Whatever, I got you a front row murder seat, baby. I deserve a reward.”

“Oh, you’ll get your reward later, big boy.”

They pushed each other around good-naturedly and Mickey pulled out a fake silver cigarette case and a box of matches. They had a perfect view of the street in front of the cinema where Manhattan Melodrama was displayed across the marquee.

“Can’t believe we’re about to witness this shit,” Mickey continued as he lit his smoke. “So badass.”

“Whatever,” said Ian, snatching the cig, “I still say we shoulda gone to the 1860s if we were gonna do the assassination rubbernecking. Seeing Lincoln get shot would be a million times more significant.”

“No way we woulda gotten into a fuckin’ play with the President, man, not even back then. This is way easier, and way cooler. This dude is one of the most notorious gangsters of all time, and we get to see him eat lead.”

Mickey positively radiated excitement, and now Ian really was really concerned.

“This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever agreed to do with you.”

“Ain’t my problem,” Mickey groused, snatching back the cigarette.

Suddenly, there was activity across the street. The movie was letting out.

“Oh shit,” said Ian.

“This is it,” said Mickey.

Within a few minutes time, all hell broke loose. There was scuffling, yelling, screaming, and suddenly gunfire. Like a lot of it. Everyone was ducking and running, but they could clearly see John Dillinger followed by Melvin Purvis and the other feds, and the way the infamous fugitive’s body dropped to the floor as the shots still rang out around them.

They’d traveled all this way, and it was over in seconds.

Ian kinda grimaced, but Mickey… Mickey looked almost gleeful. It was a little frightening to Ian that he was so in love with someone with that true tinge of a psychotic edge.

“Holy shit!” Mickey exclaimed. “People really are swarming him to get blood samples.”

And to Ian’s total horror, Mickey took off on a tear out of the apartment, just as the little old lady ran toward the balcony.

“What on earth happened? What’s going on?”

“Oh, well, it looks like the police shot a man outside.”

She gasped and hustled toward the railing. As they watched the scene below, Ian eventually saw Mickey emerge from the large crowd to wave a scarlet-soaked handkerchief at him, then take off down the street toward the park.

“Shit,” said Ian. “I’m sorry, ma’am but I’ve gotta go. Thank you for the hospitality.”

She nodded in confusion and stuttered a goodbye, then Ian went after his batshit boyfriend. At this rate, he’d have to stop him before he tried to join up with what was left of the Dillinger gang before the rest of them got shot up later on in the year. He’d probably try to make himself the kingpin of the remaining operation.

“Crazy motherfucker,” Ian muttered as he took off running.

[magiccallie]

So I wrote down my thoughts as i watched through most of Season 2 of Scooby Doo Mystery Inc, and would like to share them, major spoilers below cut

Notes of Season 2 of Scooby Mystery Inc Shout out to this jock bully(?) who upon encountering a monster threatening a girl, did no hesitate to take on said monster, recuse said girl, and protect her as they escape Fred really needs to talk to someone about his new parents, who are now living in his house with him???? The house of the man who took him from them?????? Bronson might not be exactly straight looking at how he acted around the old mayor vs the new one, but *shrugs* Jock Strikes again, is this gunna be the twist? That''s a really douchy twist to pull a stunt like this Love how-I mean this is just the plan. He wanted girls too so he set up the same scenario. Is this extra set up by the parents to get him to trust them that is some next level douchery/ Scratch that on Bronson, omg Oh shit starting with a furry attack this is going to be a weird episode the gang's meta knowledge coupled with their sure willingness to go along with tropes and shit makes for great dialogue oh *oh* this is the episode where we get a peak to see just how big the picture is, love the lore building. knew this episode was gunna be good is that a demon? the furry isnt the mosnter??? ummm...weve been getting hints, are things getting real? so we've established motive for why someone whould want this plavce closed, but actually tangent but dont a lot of these monsters that they encounter seem like, weirdly powerful and mobile for costumes oh there's the furry that red aura is a...the things that happen around it are something deeper it seems. fascinating. is the red just representative of fire hallucinations? those seemed a bit real in effect for hallucinations... this guy, like my manager, needs to hire a little more staff occult magic book falls from the library to gang, and no one is as concerned as they should be nazi robot nazi robot get BJ on the phone Cassidy is the kinda retired PC that the players can strive to be Shit is getting real quick isnt it. Wait is that a seal. does Cassidy die? I know about a certain other death that makes me sad, but i dont want Cassidy to die too this episode is a rollercoaster of odd events weird hologram disguise for Paraclese is nifty Seeing the tragic fate of past groups is...well obviously sad oh dear, she does die huh its super low key, but it plays at the terrifying corrupting ordeal of the eldritchstuff really well with the lore notes bear troubles oh that badge...is that where they buried him? that's...kinda grim they have stealth suits and killer nazi robots? why have the evil guys not won yet? there is a bomb and they are not evacuating. There is a BOMB and they are not evacuating oh the bear can talk, how dare i assume that a bear is incapable of speech the bear is a twunk, scratch that, still a bear, is...he doing a christiphor walkin impersonation? aaand that’s enough for tonight, starting fresh later We're back, 13 more episodes oh so were getting into why i don’t like astrology Enigma machine omg. sorry, im a sucker for bits like that i wanna have long white hair too, i could rock that look How does Paraclese still have an accent after all these years? It is like destiny's Rasputin and just a stubborn superiority complex? something about visiting villains you can talk to in a prison is-ohp thats just all of um huh, cameo episode- err, anyways, it just paints a delightful scene about the relationship of the protags and antags and villainy as a whole in the world well this is horrific, throw some brownish red stuff around and it would be a silent hill scene update: still gay Thirteen more episodes and they have the disk...that does not bode well for what is going to happen the writer's willingness to reference other hannah barbara characters/shows is great oooo anticaptilism, BF is scoring points excuse me???? cyborg dragon girl???? he cant even call her by her name through most of the episode wtf??????? see now im at the point i gotta ask, is this a real ghost thing, or a fake ghost thing? ah i understand now youd think he would be more willing to explain to th-there we go so the animal companians are more suceptible, but they all have the risk Paraclese talking about these cattle is every gm talking about their homebrew monsters omg writers wth was that conclusion for the cattle im dying sk-ska zombies. ska. zombies. i can pick it up oh like the dancing plauge but worse, nifty these ghosts are rude boys, like, thats actually one of their names. And just caught that it the band name is skatastic oh they mentioned the dancing plauge, thank you wtf 101 the 'lighthearted' tone of this episode speaks dark tidings about the horrors to come aaah, hex girls, omg oh damn, update again: still hella gay bards duels be like, but for real loving this more and more young me is crazy about having the hex girls interact with a magicy thing like the disks, the rest of me is concerned at the events that are taking place scooby agrees, and his dog girl friend...well that was something Ricky displaying increasing regrets is not going to do good things for his lifeespectancy ohp then he drags in the other two well, i didnt see that coming for the criminal identity this little girl just had her mom ditch her for a stranger that robbed them, the heck i should probably eat dinner at some point, or like, anything at somepoint... calling it now, this guy is a circus performer/stunt driver, and if he is the random hired british poolboy it is a fake accent he's lureing women away with emotional intemacy. thats funny in itself, btu that they accept so readily still isnt normal oh and apparently kinks, lured with kinks so hes going to be the librarian dude then?? maybe? k, so at least i got that o.o O.O, well, that was quite the lead up and explanation food on plate, depresso in heart, ready to continue so they have to know right? like, this is a planned trap since Fred is 'the only one who knows where it is' doesnt explain Fred though, or how the fake acts "jeepies you found my scarf" oh there it is, they are after the info from him and its all fake, not some hell vision to show why he has to suceed Fred knew first? good on him plastic surgery, holy crap, next level villainy here holy shit they're all in puragoty thanks to the corrpution?????? Going back to early about the horrifying nature of all this. it is just so immensly sad watching them go through these bits. Cool, but sad. Velma demonstrating why thinking and understanding are not always good in eldritch horror games so he's got a guilt complex? heart felt talk with Mayor Dad awwww, poor Velma doesnt think she's pretty guessing...well id say the wife of Enrique but that seems too easy some how, stiill shes the only offered suspect beside Enrique himself thus far *deep sigh* i will never guess any culprit i bother to write down correctly would be a real move of the writers to Uzumaki the town two day deadline given, props to velma for having the foresight to model the disks in a digital format incase theyre lost mad max mystery machine sounds like a doom metal synth wave fusion song things are going too well... How many giant evil doors will this lair have? alchemy. of course. should have guessed. is...is this the episode where Marcie...oh no oh at least shes trying good on her, she's going down in style and flame... oh. ya know, even knowing it was coming and talking it up a sentence before, not a happy event this is a nifty dungeon last episode, hell of an opening/recap wh-what fghaseguk this went batshit didnt it. i wish i had the willingness to write at unhinged as these writers one more media that i am surpised didnt end in a poly relationship this climax is eerily familiar to the live action movies at times and then they all died and went to heaven aww Rickee and Cassidy *and* Velma and Marcie, aww, my heart will heart to think about that one for long, but awwwww Miskatonik University, or however the heck it is said. i thought it was going to be a one off joke but wasn't expecting that.

[lillaxtrigger]

Young Hope: Chapter 23(Pt1)

Shining out from the horizon of a calm suburban neighborhood, the twilight sun casts through the cracks of a set of semi closed curtains; the light shining upon the purple haired teenage boys face. Awakening from his slumber, Roy rises out from the comfort of his bed and stretches his arm; loud yawn escaping from the depths of his lungs. Swiping his phone off the top of his night stand, he looks at the lock screen; the time showing to be along 6:24. “Ohh...Gotta get shit ready. Almost time for me to be on the clock.” “Aw, already?” Rising out from the sheets next to him, a teenage boy hugs the purple mercs arm; rubbing his face against Roy’s as he softly pleads if: “Can’t we stay just a bit longer and cuddle?...” “No can do, twix dick.” Leaping out from the comforting memory foam of his mattress, the purple haired angel lands in front of his bed; finishing claiming that: “I got me a big night ahead. Going out on an important assignment tonight. Gotta get ready to head out ASAP.” “Really?” another voice wonders. Rising out from the other side of his bed, a teenager with a much more toned body stands out from the sheets; asking the merc: “What so important that’s got ya up and ready?” “That, my big sexy plowing machine is private info. Nothing personal, just business.”

Nabbing a pair of purple briefs off his carpeted floor, Roy starts sliding them along his legs as he reminds his two love bugs that: “Speaking of business, think you two should get going before the sun sets.” Prying a pair of black pants off the end of the bed, the purple merc continues by warning them that: “Imagine that your parents would flip the fuck out to the Bahamas and back if they figure out you’ve been slipping dick with the purple angel, would we?” The bulk teen lets out a small growl as he rises from the bed; the twink leaping out towards Roy and locking lips with him. “Hope to see ya soon, baby cakes.” the teen wishes before departing. Lightly dressing themselves, both of the teenagers climb out of the purple boys window; streaking through his backyard and leaping over the fence. Gazing away from the retreating duo, Roy looks to his signature purple hoodie hanging upon his closets door knob; a determined smile stretching between his cheeks.

The door to the darkened room opens; the light from the hall revealing the fully dressed purple merc. Strolling out from the hall, Roy soon comes to the kitchen; a paper bag with his name awaiting on the counter. Through the kitchen, he passes by a blue haired woman washing the dishes; claiming that: “I’m heading out, Mauricia.” “Best of luck, Roy. Be careful out there.” “Thanks, I will.” he assures as he departs, grabbing the bag on his way out.

Coming before the front door, the purple merc came face to face with an orange haired girl standing in the doorway; a wide smile planted on her face. “Alright...What’dya want this time?” “Since I know ya got stuff to do and little time to waste, I’m just gonna cut to the chase here.” To Mally’s declaration, the merc can’t help but pinch the top of his nose; an exhausted sigh passing between his lips. “Tore and I couldn’t help but find out that you got yourself one hell of a job tonight and thinking that maybe ya might need a couple of partners by your side, huh?” Roy jumps back upon hearing the girls request, waving his hand in front of her and exclaiming: “Oh hell no! Ain’t no way in the hellish dunescapes of Libya, Africa are either of you are coming with.” “Aw come on Roy!” their blue brother shouts. From the couch behind them, Tore leaps off and approaches the two; further questioning his purple brother with: “You get to go on cool ass adventures to countless countries all the time. Why can’t we come along and kick some scrotum beside you.” “Because I take my profession very seriously, and I don’t want to babysit the two of you while tryin to earn by pay.” Roy enforces.

“You’ve been doing freelance work for about 4 years now, and all we seen you do is just fly out the door; you don’t even tell us what you did after you get back home.” the blue boy explains. “I doubt he does anything worth braggin about. Probably just some boring shit like delivering packages or escorting people.” Mally denies. Roy turns back towards his doubting sister, going on to rant with: “You fuckin serious bitch? I’ve pulled off some of the most dangerous assignment neither of you’re sugar high brains can even hope to imagine. We talkin about crazy shit like stopping whole high class organizations single handedly, delivering insanely destructive weapon payloads, assassinating heavily guarded politicians, even rivaling against equally deadly mercenaries like myself. All of which risking life and limb for the most highest profit imagina-” Roy puts the hard breaks his angry babbling for moment, soon returning to reality with: “Hey! Hold the fuckin phone.” He glares at Mally straight in the eye and points out: “You ain’t gonna play that reverse psychology bullshit on me, especially since I told you how to play it in the first place.”

“Maybe not, but I know what might. Holding an incriminating blunder over your head.” the girl declares. To his sisters vague threat, the merc can’t help but let loose a loud snicker before mocking: “Like you have any shit you can use on me that everyone doesn’t already know. I’m like an open book baby.” “You seemed pretty open about taking Renee back to her abusive dad.” Tore counters with. Saying this makes the purple merc jump up; his back completely straight as he turns his head towards the blue boy. “How….How the hell did you two find out about that?” he quietly question. The obvious answer then hits him softly cursing with: “Cayenne...That spicy loudmouth cunt.”

“What’s the matter with you, Roy!? Tryin to screw up our plan to rescue Kingsley’s girlfriend from her batshit cray cay papa! And after all the trouble I went through to fish you outta your depression. Pretty ungrateful if ya ask me.” Mally berates. “Look, it was the only thing I could think of to stop the riots in their tracks. If he got his daughter back, he call of the hunt. A hunt that Tore inadvertently caused.” Roy points out, his hand trailing to the blue boy himself. “Roy, if you wanted that, why didn’t you just join us for the gala that night instead of jumping in right at the end.” Tore questions. “Because I was trying to get use fighting with my newfound disability. And by the time I did get back, shit had already hit the fan.”

“The point we’re trying to make is that you owe us for your questionably moral backstabbing stunt and we plan to take full advantage of it.” the orange haired girl states. “Yeah, either you bring us along on this job or we’ll hold that over yer head until the sun violently explodes and burns us all to a deliciously crispy space treats.” his blue brother threatens. After a slew of frustrated noises come out of his mouth, the duo’s purple brother lets loose a defeated sigh and admits: “Fine...You two can come with.” Both of his siblings cheer on his submission, their yelping echoing through out the house.

Roy soon shuts their celebration with a sharp: “But!” From Roy’s sharp interruption, Tore and Mally listen as Roy warns them that: “The job that I’m on tonight has a massive reward on the line, and I can’t have either of you pissing around and fuck the whole thing over in every single orifice. You two are gonna do what I say, when I say it. No if’s, and’s, or but’s. Am I clear?” Such strict rules make his blue brother blow out raspberries, wondering: “Pfft. Come on, Roy. Quit being so paranoid. Since when have I ever screwed thing over things over for everyone.” To that question, Tore is met with the scornful glares of both his siblings; the blue boy letting out a nervous laughter and admitting: “Right, um….I’ll-I’ll behave myself...He he...heeuh...”

Under the pitch black air lay a vast city, littered with classically structured buildings; very few of them reaching out towards the sky. Breaking up this trend be the occasional castle or palace; their sharp tipped tops pointing out towards the night sky. Gliding through this very sky be the angelic trio, Tore and Roy flying across the city skyline with Mally riding atop her blue brothers back. “So...mind telling me what ya gotta do out this far in Austria.” she questions. “Guess now’s a good time as any to tell ya two. See, there’s been a growing domestic terrorist group out here in the middle of Vienna just going around wreckin shit, taking names and blowing up buildings like some shitty 3rd graders throwing tantrums just to try and get attention. We’ll they got it alright, but not the kind they’d be hoping for.” “What’s got these guys so mad off anyway?” Tore wonders. “Can’t say for sure. Something about their economy being screwed over but the report didn’t say. Come to think it, the report didn’t say much of anything. Just about the terrorists and to meet some asshole on the edge of town.” “Man, I can’t wait to glide across the flooded streets, waving hello to passing people in canals. Wonder if they’ll be a motorboat just speeding by.” the blue boy hopes. “Tore...that’s Venice Italy.” Mally corrects. “Yeah, sorry bro. We ain’t going swimmin tonight.” Roy adds. “Aw dammit.”

The trios flight soon comes to a soft descent, the pair of angels landing upon the roof of an abandoned building; broken and beaten into beyond any hope of repair. “So why out of anywhere else is this gorgeous city are we meeting this somebody out in a wreck like this.” the blue boy asks. “Don’t know. Me thinks that an Austrian official wouldn’t want people to find out that they’re dealin with a less than morally encompassing mercenary.” The purple merc answers. “Hang on. You’re taking this job from somebody in the government.” Mally questions, leaping off of her blue brothers back. “Yep, taking an order from the very top. Every hardcore merc’s dream. Just doing one job for those political swine holes can land ya hearty trillions in reward money, stuff that can set you and dozens other for life. I’ve reached the top motherfuckers!”

“It seems like we’re a far ways out. You know when this informant of yours is supposed to get here?” the blue angel wonders. “Should be coming around here soon. Guess we’ll know who they be when they show up.” the merc mentions. “So you don’t even know what this asshole’s supposed to look like? Why would even go along with something this ludicrously shady?” Mally disputes. “Welcome to the vast underbelly of the mercenary world, sis. A dangerous field of work filled to the brim with limitless shady dealings and boundless distrusting anonymity. Ain’t no pretty line of labor, but it’s one I excel at.” “I’m not to sure about this, Roy.” Tore worries. “Will you two cool it. I’ve done this whole dance with darkness plenty of times now. Just let me do all the talkin and we’ll smoothly sail through the shadows.” Reassuring such, the merc heads for the door leading downstairs; both of his sibling looking at one another with unsure glares.

Descending down from the rooftop of the broken building, the three find themselves standing within a dimly lit room; the sides littered with debris, garbage, and moldy wooden crates. “Wow. I wonder why people just put their garbage in random broken down buildings like this. Might as well just tear the whole place down and replace it with a giant dumpster.” Tore jests. “Ugh, tell me about it. This place smells worse then the sewage treatment place I pass on the way to school. How much longer will it be before this informant of yours shows up?” Mally asks her purple brother. Turning away from a set of crates in the corner, the merc admits that: “Think we might have gotten here a little early. It could take awhile; half an hour or two I bet. Ah well, guess that’s time zone’s for ya.” “So you’re expecting us to just wait in this house fly paradise until your informant shows their rear?” Tore frets. “That be the game plan.” To their purple brothers words, both Tore and Mally groan aloud; their wailing echoing throughout the dim building. “Hey! Hey! Cut that shit out!” the merc demands. Though still disappointed, the two cease their howling upon their brothers orders; their faces looking like the ones an upset toddler would show their moms. “I ain’t havin any of this whining bullshit while I’m here, kids. Merc work ain’t just all beatings and speedings. Sometimes ya need to apply some patience.”

And with this, the trio can do little but await for the purple merc’s informant to show themselves; passing the time by distracting themselves in various ways. Through the dim room, the trio start to lightly spar; throwing and blocking punches and kicks to one another. Tore soon feels his sister hit the side of his chest, stopping Mally in her tracks. From their, he grasps his sisters fist; guiding her knuckles down towards his kidneys. Mally staring up to her blue brother, finds him nodding in confirmation. Standing proudly before her, his sister swings hard into the side he showed her; causing the blue boy to double over in pain. While Mally seems on the verge of panicking, Roy tries his damnedest not to bust out laughing.

Pulling out the paper bag he had grabbed back home, Roy shares the food held within. Mally catches the apple tossed at her, nibbling on its bright red skin with small crunching bites. Tore witnessing a PB&J thrown his way, chomps it whole midair in one bite; smiling from the mixing flavors of the classic snack. The merc himself pulls out a can of Faygo from the depths of his bags paper, smiling as he pops open the top and swigs down the wicked elixir. The blue boy swallowing the sandwich, both his sibling toast the apple and soda; a wide smile stretching across his face.

On the floor, the three attempt to pass the time with a game of paper football; Tore aiming the triangular piece of paper between his sisters fingers while Roy watches on the side. The blue boy finally takes the shot, flicking the piece hard enough to smack into Mally’s eye; the girl falling over as she covers her head. Both her brothers swiftly approach to her aid; worried gazes across their faces.

Eventually, their distractions die down; the three left reduced to simply lying on the cold hard concrete floor. In the seemingly never ending march of boredom, the blue boy breaks the silence with a frustrated scream; drawing the attention of his sibling. “I can’t take this torturous waiting train anymore! Standing around in this oversized garbage dumpster is so boring! It’s been more than 3 hours and this government lackey hasn’t showed head or tail!” “It’s only been 20 minutes.” Mally calmly reminds him. Turning towards his purple brother, the blue boy can’t help but question: “Roy, it’s been way too long now. Don’t you think that whoever posted the job is just screwing with us?” “Hmm...I’m beginning to wonder the same thing.” Rising from the cracked concrete, the merc continues by informing that: “I’ll be up on the roof to see if anyone’s coming, also to get outta this shithole. Place smellin worse then an open graveyard. You two wanna come?” “Nah. It’s way too cold out there.” Tore decline. “Yeah, as rancid as this place is, it’s kinda warm.” Mally adds. “Meh, suit ya selves” With this, the merc heads right up the steps; exiting out the roof doorway.

The sound of the door closing echoing through the room, Mally’s gaze turns towards her blue brother and asks: “Hey Tore, mind if I ask ya something?” “Uh, sure Mal. What’s on your mind?” “Have you’ve been noticing that Roy’s been acting kinda...strange lately.” “Well duh. That’s kinda our default Mally.” “No, I mean like more...unstable…losing his mind and stuff.” “Aw come on.” “I know, but...I-I’m worried. I think all this merc work might be getting to him. Since we moved to Townsville, Roy hasn’t had a lot of sleep. With his job going on during the night, the only time he’s got to sleep is during school.” “Yeah, and the some of the teacher won’t stop hounding him to stay. I keep tellin them that Roy does his schoolwork best when he’s sleeping like a hung over dad fresh from a night out at the strip joint, but they don’t believe me.” “What’s worst is that I catch him talking to himself sometimes, almost as if he’s arguing with somebody.” “Alright look, Mal...Roy’s just kinda goin to a rough patch right now. I mean, he’s adjusting to a new school, new schedule, new place, new people. Hell, he’s even lost an arm. But he’s still pulling through all of it just fine. And ya know why?” Mally looks up from the cracked concrete as her brother continues with: “Because he got us to fall back on. We’ve been through a lot together. Far worse stuff then even most adults have gone through. And we got through it because we got each other by our side. So as long as we’re hand in hand, we can beat life tough ass inside out.” To his brothers speech, Mally can’t help but let out a small chuckle. “Guess I needed to here something cheesy like that.” After letting a relieved sigh, she looks back to the blue boy and thanks him with: “You’re right. I’m sure now he’ll be just fine.”

Sitting atop the edge of the roof, the purple merc gazes up into the pitch black void above; not a single star visible thanks to the city lights shining below. A deep breath leaves his lips as he pulls out his phone; looking away from the night sky and onto its bright screen. Beyond the lock screen, Roy taps into the text; sliding his thumb across the screen until stopping at a single name: Roxanne. Tapping the name reveals a text conversation shared between the two.

Roxanne: “Had a fun night last night.” Roy: “Thanks. Think we meet up again sometime?” Roxanne: “How’s next Saturday sound?” Roy: “Cool! Can’t wait.”

Staring deeply at the conversation, a familiar supporting voice chimes in his head; wondering if: “Are you’re ready for this?” An unsure moan leaves his lungs, the purple angel admitting that: “Gotta be honest Hera...I haven’t felt like this in so long...I’m not too sure.”

Back within the dim confines downstairs, both Tore and Mally simply relax and wait for the informant to get here. Lying against the wall, she lets a small yawn pass through her mouth; smacking her lips as she shakes off her dull inducing drowsiness. Tempting to distract herself from the seemingly endless boredom, her gaze drifts over towards the stack of crates in the corner; her site beholding a stray shadow beside the boxes. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she takes another glance to the crates; soon witnessing the same shadow retreat from behind the boxes. Having witnessed the shadow slip inside, Mally dons her helmet as she approaches her blue brother. “Hey Tore. There was something else I forgot to mention about Roy.” she feigns to Tore. “Alright...what now?” the blue boy ignorantly wonders.

Once next to her brother, she pulls him in face to face; whispering to him: “I think they’re might be somebody watchin use behind those crates.” Hearing his sister mutter such a warning, Tore eye’s gaze out towards the only set of boxes in the room. “Think it might be the informant Roy told us about?” the blue boy whispers. “Don’t know. Roy didn’t bother telling us about him. They could just some homeless guy. Let’s just act casual and see with happens.”

With this suggestion, Tore picks up where he thinks the false conversation by blurting: “Whoa, really. Can’t believe he even stoops to something like that. When he gets back down here, were gonna have a long talk with him...And kick him in the testies.” Saying this, the blue both badly feign walking off towards the side; Mally sliding her palm against her face as she starts putting on her skates.

Quickly tying her pink skates, the skater soon sees the shadow of an arm peek out from behind the boxes, the shadow of a knife held above. Realizing her brothers back turned away, she rushes over to him as fast as possible; the man behind the boxes throwing his sharp dagger right towards the back of Tore’s head. Just before the flying knife could plunge itself into the blue angels head, Mally tackles her brother aside; the dagger instead piercing through a lone garbage bag.

Falling onto the cracked concrete floor, Tore fires a white ray right at the cluster of crates; someone in an overcoat dashing out from the resulting explosion. Rising from the cold floor, both Tore and Mally stand back to back and scan through their surroundings for any sign of their overcoat assassin; watching the countless bags of garbage and scraps of broken appliances lying around the edges of the room. “So sis, ya got any plans in that helmeted head of yours.” the blue angel asks. “This guy seems to be waiting for an opening to strike. Me thinks we should counter with strat 26.” his sister suggests. “Ooh, that’s always a good one.”

In the midst of their standoff, Mally witnesses a faint shadow trailing into a junk pile left at the wayside; the skater digging through her pocket to pull out her trusty grapple-yo. Casting the gadget out towards the pile, she wraps its string around a destroyed fridge; uprooting it from the cluster junk. Swinging the broken icebox throughout the room, Mally slams the heavy appliance into the countless piles of scrap and garbage; her blue brother ducking under the passing string. Soon, she swings the broken freezer high in the air; sending the fridge back down onto the pile it came from like a crashing hammer. From the impact, their overcoat assassin leaps up in the air, pulling out two dual pistols and aiming right at the skater in his descent. Firing down a storm of bullets, Tore blocks his sister from the led assault; gliding towards the assailant as his foe lands. The angel grabs hold of the assassins pistols by their front, crushing their barrels with his bare hands.

Releasing his destroyed firearms; the mysterious assassin jumps back from his blue adversary, pulling out a sharp machete in his retreat. The edge of his blade coated in green, the figure in the overcoat thrusts his poisoned blade towards Tore; the lethal lunge stopped by the neck of a hockey stick. Blocking their poisonous sting be the orange haired skater, pushing the overcoat foe back and away from her brother. Swiftly striking back, the coated assassin slashes rapidly swings at the skater; Mally blocking and dodging the blades barrage. In a single swing; the skater knocks the assassins poisoned machete out from their hand; the blade breaking through the glass of a window. Having disarmed her assailant, Mally readies to deal the finishing blow; the coated assassin jumping out from her swing. High above the skaters head, her foe pulls out a slew of butterfly knives from their sleeves; tempting to rain their sharp steel down upon the orange haired girl.

Just before the assassin could unleash their steel rain, they’re snatched in the air by the blue angel; Tore holding his assailants in the air and spinning them about. “Get ready Mal!” the blue boy exclaims. Upon her brothers word; Mally rushes out towards the edge of the room; skating up through the molding wall. His sister near the roof, Tore flings the their foe across the room; the assailant careening over the horizontal support beam. Leaping off the top of the wall, the skater tangles her grapple yo around the assassins throat; soon trailing herself and the string over the support beam. Both descending from each side of the metal beam, only one of them lands back upon the concrete floor; Mally suspending the assassin in the air via her yoyo. Feeling its hold tighten around their neck, the figure in the overcoat attempts to free themselves from the yoyo’s tense hold; the string too thin to pry off. Eventually, the last of the assailants breath leaves their lungs; the coated assassins body going completely limp.

Having finished the overcoated assassin, Mally drops their lifeless body; their facade shedding to reveal a blonde haired man. The skater reels her grapple yo back in the palm of her hand; her brother descending from behind and congratulating her with: “Way to go, Mal. Really stuck to the strangling perfectly.” “Thanks. Didn’t think we could pull it off, to be honest. Barely had anytime to practice it.” “What the hell is happening down here!?” they hear a familiar voice shout. Gazing back towards the flight of steel steps, the duo find their purple brother climbing down; a less than pleased expression painted across his face. “Roy!” Tore excitedly exclaims.

Rocketing towards the merc, the blue boy goes on to explain how: “You’ll never guess what we just did! We pulled off strat 26! Ain’t that amazing!?” “Roy, what the hell?” they hear their sister call out. The two angels turning towards the skater, they hear her question: “Why didn’t you warn us there was someone in here. Could’ve save us a ton of trouble.” “I thought he was just some homeless crackhead.” “The guy was waiting all night for us to let our guard to go down, attacked from the shadows like a hobo ninja.” the blue boy elaborates. “Will you guys gimme a break!? Maybe the guy wants to overdose in peace, ever think of that?”

Skating over towards the guys remains, Mally digs into the contents of his overcoat; pulling out what seemed to be a wallet of sorts. Opening it revealed displayed along the face an ID of sorts; the golden symbol of an eagle sown on the other side. “Hey Roy, think ya know what this eagle might be for.” she asks, showing her siblings the emblem. While Tore looks upon the symbol with curious wonder, Roy’s eyes widen, mentioning how: “That- that’s the same crest that was on the report.” Hearing this, the blue boy hisses between his teeth, guiltily admitting that: “Nnn...I think that might’ve been the informant.” “Really!? Ya don’t say dumbass!”

Leaping off the stairs, Roy glides over towards the dead man his siblings had dispatched; hearing Mally question: “If we was who he was waiting on, then why did he attack us?” “Dude probably thought it was a set up seeing the two of you. If I had some shady dealing going on and didn’t see who took the job, I’d think the same thing.”

Landing next to the freshly dead corpse, the purple merc begins to strip him down; Mally soon covering her eyes and asking: “Egh! What are you doing!?” “Tryin to see if this asshole had anything on him. These kind of government lackey usually keep files of their assignments on hand.” Roy’s search soon has him dig through the corpse overcoat, pulling out a folder from one of pockets. “Ah, jackpot! We’re in the clear, kiddies!” the merc exclaims, holding the folder up high. “Eh, cool. But...did ya hafta strip the guy nude to get’em.” Tore wonders. “Not really, just wanna take a peak of the package he had down their. Third time in my life have I ever been so disappointed.” “Just read the damn thing already!” his sister demands.

With a disgruntled groan, he cracks the folder wide open; a relieved breath leaving his lungs. “Looks like this job ain’t a bust just yet. Got our assignment right here.” “Alright! What all does it say?” his blue brother asks. Checking the dossier once agains, he explains aloud that: “Says here that the terrorist group plans on attacking the Austrian Parliament building tonight.” “Cool, so...what’s that?”. “Basically like a building politicians gather to discuss stuff like rules, trade, bunch of boring stuff like that.” “So, from what all we got in here; I’m guessin that were supposed to stop these assholes and uproot them from their base of operation. Could’ve gotten a lot more out of it if the guy this thing came from wasn’t choked to death.” Roy elaborates, staring at his siblings right at the end. “Hey, the guy shot first! It was self defense!” Tore exclaims. With an irritated groan, the merc takes one more look at the file; his demeanor quickly winding up as he adds: “Oh shit! Attack’s supposed to go on in 20 minutes!” “Well what’re we waiting for!? Let’s move!” Their sister proclaiming such, the three rush up through the steel steps; soon taking off into the Austrian night sky.

Streaking through the cold Vienna skyline, the trio glide east above the city streets; the lights below shining upon the angelic duo’s chest. In their flight across the Austrian city, the orange haired skater can’t help but turn towards his purple sibling and question: “Oy, Roy. If these government guys know about these terrorists attack, then why are all of them still going along with the get together.” “Most of them probably don’t even know that its goin down tonight. Too worried about laws and trade to even check.” “Can’t we just warn them all?” Tore suggest. “Not a bright idea. Since our report came from the government themselves, a couple of the guys in there might see the bullet coming and don’t wanna tell anyone. Don’t wanna risk making the uninvited guests suspicious, do we?”

“Roy, I feel like you’re leaving something out.” Mally accuses. “Oh, pfft. Gimme a fuckin break Mal. You honestly think I’m the kind of deceitful piece of jack ass shit that’d lie to ya like that?” To his defense, both of the purple brother’s sibling gaze upon him with contemptuous glares; their wordless gazes being all Roy can take before caving him. “Ahhghn...Fine. The other reason why I don’t wanna go in there is cause...I kinda wound up on the country’s wanted list.” “What!? What’d kind of kooky 90’s action cop flick style shenanigans did you do to get the entire country after your purple hide?” the blue angel question. “I miiiight have done something to piss of one of the Austrian government boys. It’s nothing that bad, I swear.” Roy reassures. “You fucked their daughter, didn’t you?” Mally guesses. “That, and their son.” Reveal such scandalous escapades makes the merc’s sister let loose an upset groan, Roy adding with devious smile that: “They were twins.” “Roy!” the skater harshly exclaims. “Relax. They were the same age as me...I think.” “Not the point here.”

Guiding her blue brother closer to the merc, Mally continues her scolding by mentioning how: “You can’t keep going on these amorous shenanigans anytime you see a nice ripe ass or a big fat dick. You keep getting in trouble with this kinda shit.” “Yeah, like the time in middle school where you were screwing around the principal’s son. The guy went so catty batty banana’s, he tried to burn the whole school down.” their blue brother brings up. “It ain’t my fault he went freaky for fruit loops! Maybe the district shouldn’t have hired a bipolar asshole to run the place.” Their sister than brings the conversation back on track, baiting Roy’s attention with: “The point were making here, Roy, is that his kind of scandalously frisky habits of yours need to screech to a stop. Else, you’re not only gonna land only yourself, but your entire family and beyond in some serious shit.” “Oh come on! Neither of you think I can handle all of it? I’m been fishing in the vast, dangerous waters of the amorous sea’s for 2 years straight now and it hasn’t gotten the overly swollen testicles to bite back.” “Hey, think I see our ahead up ahead.” Tore points out.

With the Austrian parliament building locked in their sites, the trio float down upon its flat rooftop; Mally jumping off of her blue brothers backside. Landing on the rooftop, Tore himself throws his purple another question; asking: “So, if your banned from the country, then why would a government official hire you. Wouldn’t that get them blacklisted or something?” “Well considering that the job came from an anonymous source, they might already know that and are wanting to keep things on the down low. Plus, with my kind of resume; how the hell could they refuse.”

“So, how we gonna snoop out these uber Austrian bastards anyway?” Mally question. “We got all we need to track those home grown terrorist right here.” Roy answers, pointing to himself. “Oh please. You couldn’t even snoop out your informant before we wound up doing him in.” “Gimme a break alright! I thought he was just one cracked out bum. A terrorist attack on the other hand’ll need a whole orgy’s worth of motherfuckers to pull off. Bet they’ll all try and bust in while all the politicians in there are busy yapping their asses away. But before they can, we’ll all dive down onto them and beat their uber assholes through the seven layers of hell and back on the other side of the earth.” “So were just supposed to wait here until they show up?” Tore questions. “Again?” Mally adds. “That’s the game plan.” To their brothers strategy, both the merc’s brother and sister groan aloud; Roy himself demanding that they: “Hey, hey; shut it, you two. You want the whole damn block down there to know we’re up here.” His siblings reluctantly comply with their purple brothers demands; upset glare drawn upon their faces. “I ain’t gonna have my chances go off the rails just cause you two are feeling bored. We’re gonna wait here and watch for those domestic terror fuckers until I say otherwise. We clear?” “Yes, your majesty.” both sarcastically comply.

And so, the trio await patiently atop the roof of the parliament building; passing the time in their own way until the action arrives. Curious of what the people inside could be discussing, the blue boy approaches the sunroof and peeks inside; finding a whole room full of well dressed people inside. Pressing his ear against the glass, Tore could hear their political disputes; a curious expression forming upon his face. Mally meanwhile passes the time by practicing with her grapple-yo; casting out her gadget and twirling it in the air performing trick. These practices eventually causes the skater to get caught in a bind of her own trappings; her Yoyo entangling around her hands. Roy meanwhile can’t help but sit along the edge of the building, staring down onto the screen of his phone with the text conversation still on; a visible breath escaping from the purple angel’s lunges.

The blue angel soon withdraws from the clear ceiling window, approaching her struggling as she tempts to untangle herself from her own yoyo’s string. “I can’t understand a single word those guys are saying in there. It all just sounds like random gibberish.” he goes on to explain, starting to help his sister sort out the string of her grapple-yo. “Why? Cause it’s all political stuff.” she wonders. “No, cause I can’t understand a lick of German. All I’m getting outta it is nothing but a bunch of “Gutens” and “Wirtschaft’s”. Sound pretty funny though.” “Well maybe Roy can give ya some lessons. He won’t shut up how he’s been all over the world.” “Whadya say, Roy? Think you can gimme some pointers on the complex and foreign workings of the cultural German tongue?” The blue boys question however is left unanswered; Roy continuing to sit upon the buildings edge, staring down upon his phone. “Uh, Roy...you there?” he asks to bait is attention. “Roy?...Roooy?” Alas, Tore’s calls fall on deaf ears; the merc himself remained gazing upon the text conversation between him and Roxanne. Finally, the merc finally hears their cry when Mally mildly shouts at him: “Yo, Roy! You listening!?”

The suddenly loud call catches Roy off guard; his surprise causing him to loose grip of his phone. “No!” the merc utters. With his single hand, he attempts to catch the midair mobile device before it starts to plummet; his grip failing to grasp the phone in time. “Dammit!” Watching as his device descends towards the hard concrete, Roy soon witnesses his sister’s yoyo grab hold of the phone just before it hit the pavement; the gadget retracting up through the parliaments edge and flying high in the air. Soon, the yoyo and phone plummet back down towards the roof; the mobile device landing right in Mally’s untangled hands. “Gotcha!”

Standing off the buildings edge, Roy approaches his sister with a thankful smile; congratulating the skater with: “Nice save, Mal. I owe ya.” The purple merc soon finds his orange haired sibling staring at the screen; his hairs standing on end as he hears Mally asks: “Roy...who’s Roxanne?” Swiftly swiping his phone back from her hands, Roy responds to her curious question with: “It’s somebody you don’t have to stick your nose in. Hear me?” “Oh oh! It’s it one of your merc buddys!” Tore pops in guessing. “Sounds more like a fuck buddy to me?” Mally adds. “Could be a drug buddy.” “Roy’s not on drugs though.” “Oh, right.” “Think it might be an old school buddy.” the skater questions. “Eh, I don’t remember anyone back then called Roxanne. Maybe a current school buddy.” Tore guesses. “He isn’t that well liked in school though. He won’t stop pickin fights and asking people to fuck. Foreign buddy?” “Could be. Hey Roy, is Roxanne some new foreign buddy. Huh?” the blue angel asks his purple brother. “Yeah Roy, are they?” Mally hounds. “Come on, Roy. Tell us.” “Ya gotta. We need to know.” “Were just gonna keep asking til ya tell us.” “Spill your brains out, you devilish purple bastard!” Their constant hounding eventually gets Roy to cave in; harshly demanding the two to: “Alright! Just both of ya shut the fuck up.” Both of his siblings listen closely; awaiting in anticipation for their purple brother to answer them.

A heavy breath passes through Roy’s lips; soon admitting to the two of them that: “Roxanne is...My...my new girlfriend.” To the mercs response, both of their faces swiftly go sour; Mally asking: “I’m sorry...What?...” “She’s my girlfriend. We’ve been dating.” “Is...are you serious?” Tore wonders. “Oh my god, yes. I’m going out with her. How many times to I have to say it?” “Oh...Oh that is just unfortunate...” Mally dreads.

“Pffth, okay. Why is me getting a girlfriend such a big bombshell for you two?” the merc question. “I don’t know, Roy. You tell me why a sexual deviant like you being in a committed relationship is so baffling?” the skater sarcastically asks back. “Especially since you haven’t really been like that with anybody. Not since...well...umm-” the blue angel adds. “I can handle being in a loving relationship just fine, thank you very much.” “We’re being serious here, Roy. If you’re not screwing around about all this, then you can’t have you’re less than abstinent habits screw you over. Pun intended.” Mally states. “How long have you even been going out with his girl for?” Tore wonders. “Hnnn...thinks its been about a week. Somewhere close to that.” “You’ve been going out with this poor girl for that long and you’ve already cheated on her with two other dudes?” the skater reminds him. “You saw those two?” “Of course we did, Roy. Who wouldn’t notice a couple of nearly nude teenage boys streaking across the neighborhood?” the blue boy questions. “Tsk, so I gotta couple asses on the side. What’s the big whoop?” the merc questions. “The big whoop here is that if you don’t want your girlfriend walkin out on your ass, then you gotta stop chasing ass. No more booty chasin, no more cock gobblin, and especially no last second bangs with people you barely know.” Mally chastises. “And how do you she ain’t into that stuff?” Roy counters with, making his siblings loudly growl.

“I don’t havta drop a damn thing sista. I can keep up being with my girl with staying dick deep in the wonderful world of fornication.” the merc declares. “That isn’t how a stable relationship is supposed to work!” Mally claims. “Oh, and like you two know out one does? Mr. “I don’t give a rats ass about being with anyone.” and Ms. “I’m too much of a nervous lesbian to ask anyone out.” “I’m working out my own problems. But that don’t mean neither of us can’t work on yours.” “Roy...We love you. And we just want you to be happy.”

Struck with the statement from his siblings, the purple angel is left upset and speechless. Roy then turns away from the two; his gaze aimed towards the buildings set to the side. “At least look at us while were chewing you out!” the skater demands. “Shut it. I’m sensing something over there...A crowd of people clustered around that building over there.” the merc informs, pointing over towards a run down building set along the street ahead. “Think it might be the terrorists?” Tore asks. “Don’t know. Could be.” In that moment, Roy turns back towards both of his siblings; ordering the two with: “Both of you stay up on this roof. Not sure what they’re planning yet, so I need two of you here if they try anything up close.” Having relayed those orders, the purple merc fly out towards the broken building in question. “We’re not done talking about this, Roy.” Mally warns his leaving brother. Watching the black winged angel soar above the streets, the skater can’t help but let out a worrying sigh; hoping aloud that: “Just wish we could get through to him.” She soon feels her blue brothers palm on her shoulder; her gaze turning to Tore as he assures that: “We will, Mally. He just need some time to process all this. That’s all.”

In his flight above the Austrian streets, the black winged angels tempts to calm himself from the heated discussion; assuring to himself that: “What the fuck is their deal? I’ve been in a relationship once before, I sure as hell can do it again.” “Can you, though? Your less than wholesome habits may work to hinder your honest efforts.” the merc hears echo in his head. “Oh come on. You’re on my ass too? Why the hell is everybody trying to shove their dicks in my personal life?” “I’d much rather call it...divine intervention.” “And I’d rather call it bullshit. The hell is your point?” “My point is that from as much as I’ve seen, you honestly seem to want to make things work with this girl. So if you would be so kind as to help shed some light on a few simple questions that I have. Is that okay?” With a small breath passing through his nose, the merc tells the voice in his head to: “Fire away.”

“Roy...Do you honestly like this Roxanne girl?” “Yeah...” “How does she make you feel?” “...Better.” “How long do you hope to be with her?” “...” “Roy?” “For as long as I can.” “Well then...If your wanting to have a long, meaningful relationship with this woman, then you must be willing to make and maintain some commitments. Part of loving somebody is to make compromises with one another; to make sacrifices for your other to stay together.” “So what’re you saying I have to give up? My wealth, my body...my mind?” “I’m referring to more along the line of what you enjoy in life. The pleasures that somebody of your...deviancy constantly partakes in.” Roy fails to give the goddess a response to her statement, simply gazing below; taking in the view of the Austrian streets. Walking through the Vienna streets be couples walking together hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder; huddling together through the cold passing winds. Set along those concrete streets be various restaurants, packed with all kinds of couples of all ages and all sex’s; mingling and eating together. Staring out to these loving couples, the merc hears the goddess finish with: “Believe me, Roy. If Roxanne really loves you, then there’s no doubt that she’ll do the same for you.” Hera’s last statement leaves the purple angel with food for thought; platters of statements and meals of questions that he knows he’ll have to swallow soon. But alas, those morsels be put on hold as he begins to descends upon the abandoned building; sensing the group of people below the rooftop.

Quietly cracking open the rooftop doorway, the purple merc’s ears catch the sound of German echoing through the stair way; careful to not make a single peep as he slowly comes inside. Hovering over the old wooden steps, Roy descend through the molding stairway; the voices below growing louder the further he flies down. Roy’s descent soon takes him down to a run down hallway; the stretching darkness ahead upset by a dim light shining out from an open doorway. Peeking through this doorway has the merc discover what his senses have warned him about: a whole crowd of people donned in masks; their design resembling an upside down white falcon. Littered around the sides of the decrepit room be large wooden crates, with some of the renegades sitting atop their lids; some of the boxes toppled on their side to reveal nothing within. Kinda makes one wonder what the hell these guys are up to. Aside from some weapons and grenades, they don’t really look that prepped to take on the big house. What even came in those crates anyway?

As he wonders what their plans could involve, a booming voice grabs the entire rooms attention; everyone’s eyes glued to a tall, hulking figure with snow white hair standing in front of the window. “(Listen up everyone.)” Through her muscular body, patches of ice layer parts of her skin; small icicles forming out from the coats of frost. She soon points her icy finger out towards the parliament building in the distance; starting her speech with: “(Our city’s capital there has been infested with greedy swine. Heartless pigs that have more than eagerly left the people of this country’s starving out in the cold to line their pockets. Hyper inflating our economy was the last mistake those swine will make. Tonight, this economic nightmare shall come to an end!)” After her announcement, the entire room is swept in an uproar; cheering upon their icy leaders declaration.

Once the crowds hype dies down, the cold hard woman points out towards the side of the room as she calls for: “(Lukas, approach.)” Out from the crowd, a masked man with blonde hair steps forward; a remote grasp firmly in the palms of his hands. “(Yes, my cold commander?)” “(Have the explosives been set in place?)” the icy woman wonders. “(Indeed they have. With all of them packed tightly together nice and neat, the resulting explosion should wipe out the entire building and all who reside inside.)” Hearing these plans unfold, the merc thinks to how both of his siblings are still awaiting at the rooftop; his eyes swiftly squinting out to the blonde man. “(Excellent! Now the only thing left to do is set of the detonator. Care to do the honors, Lukas?)” the woman offers. “(I would be honored to, Ilana.)” “(Right. On my count. 10...9...8...7...)” In the midst of their countdown, Roy swiftly slides right inside; his eyes locked right on the cold commanders second hand man.

“(3...2...1…Now!)” Upon the end of her countdown, the icy leader watches the parliament building out in the distance closely, awaiting for the entire place to erupt in a fiery explosion. Alas, her vision of the capitals destruction fails to come; seeing not a single hint of red among the black sky. “(Lukas...You...You can press the button-)” Turning over to her comrade, he find the detonator having vanished from his hand; a gaping red hole laying across his chest. “(Button?)” Her right hand man falls right upon the wooden floor in a splatter of his own blood; the entire room taken back by Lukas sudden demise. “(You know...)” they all hear. Turning out towards the side of the broken room; the entire group finds the purple merc sitting atop one of the crates; the detonator in his hand. “(I can’t really imagine what your next move might’ve been. Did you really think that just blowing up a pig pen would just solve everything? If that’s your last step, then you guys are a long way off from your cause.)” With this declaration does Roy crush the detonator in his hand; its pieces falling upon the cracked wooden floor.

One of the henchmen breaks from their shock and lets out a vengeful growl, pulling out a pistol as he curses out: “(You bastard!)” Aiming his pistol right at the purple merc, the goon fires right at his forehead; the led bullet proving completely ineffective as it simply ricochets right off Roy’s noggin. “(Yeah, bullets won’t work.)” he warns as he points out towards the gunman. Shooting out a small black beam from the tip of his finger, the merc blows the cronies hand off with a single blast; his painful screams echoing throughout the broken room. Though a lot of the crowd proves distracted by their comrades, one of them sneaks around towards their purple guests back; swinging out a heavy iron crowbar to his head. Before she could slam her weapon down upon the merc’s skull, her crowbar is swiftly caught just before she could touch even a hair. Tempting to snatch her weapon away from the purple mercs hands, she finds his grips far too strong; Roy himself turning towards the unlucky henchwoman and warning that: “(Sneak attacks won’t cut it either.)” After saying such, the merc snatches the crowbar out from the goons hand and pierces its sharp end right through her chest; the crony sent slamming into the wall upon impact. In hopes of overpowering their unwelcomed guest, the rest of the crowd comes charging at the merc all at once; Roy jump off the crate and facing the crowd with a devious grin.

The first one out from the approaching mob be a man with a massive hammer; swinging the hard iron end out towards the purple merc. With but his only arm, Roy blocks the henchman’s iron hard swing; grasping the hammers hard flat end. He soon sense somebody else lunging after, the merc glancing towards his right to discover a woman with a cattle prod closing in. Dodging around the goons electrical stab, Roy pulls the man with the hammer in her path; the henchwomen inadvertently delivering an intense shock to one of her own comrades, The shock causes the hammer wielding terrorist to lose grip of his weapon; the purple merc taking the opportunity to snatch the heavyweight hammer away. In his grasp, Roy smacks the two goons away; swinging the heavy iron hammer almost as lightly as a wooden stick.

While the two goon can’t help but knock over some of their approaching comrades, others leap out from their tumbling teammates; diving down towards the purple merc with their own firearms. The airborne renegades rain down a shower of led bullets down upon the purple merc; none of their fire even coming close to hurting Roy. “(The hell did I just get done saying?)” he chastises, as he readies to throw the hammer in his hand. Tossing the heavy iron hammer at one of the terrorist, he fires down a couple of his own barrage up towards the descending cronies; the hammer and his rays striking them back. His beams don’t intercept all of the falling goons; a lone henchwomen diving down towards the merc with a sharp blade in her hands. Right when the tip was on the verge of stabbing Roy’s eye, the purple merc catches the goons blade before it could plunge itself into his pupil. Roy kicks the woman aside and snatches her blade out from her leaving grip, tossing the sword out towards the groups cold commander; watching as Ilana effortlessly steps out from the blades careening flight.

From the other side of the room, one of the icy woman’s goons pulls the pin out from a lone grenade; tossing the ticking explosive out towards their purple foe. Roy quickly glances over and finds the small bomb closing in; a smile stretching across the merc’s face as he lifts his leg back. Like an oncoming kick ball, he boots the bomb right back towards the mob of cronies; the crowd attempting to dive for cover as they witness the grenades return. Alas, they fail to find any cover in time; a good chunk of the terrorist consumed by their own bombs blazing blast.

“(You bombing motherfuckers should’ve came better prepared. You guys really think these shitty toys are supposed to stop me?)” the merc mocks. Though he attempts to chase after the rest of the renegade herd, Roy soon finds his feet glued to the floor; glancing down to see a coat of ice quickly crawling up from his legs. Just before he could even attempt to escape, the encroaching frost quickly consume his body; hearing in his icy prison: “(They might not.)” The merc gazes out towards the window; the frost freezing him revealing to have come from the cold commanders own hands. “(But I might.)” she finishes. After entrapping the merc in a cold cage of her own making, the icy leader starts to approach; a disgusted look forming upon her face as she gazes upon Roy’s own features. “(Unbelievable. To think that those government swine would have the gall to send someone so young as a teenager after us.)” Ilana complains. “(Hey!...You ain’t dealing with some random...punk ass teenager.)” he struggles to object from his shivering voice. “(Truly not. The way you’ve torn through a good chunk of my forces being more than enough proof of that.)” “(What are we supposed to do now? We can’t risk someone like him following us back to base.)” one of the henchman questions. Gazing upon the merc’s face, she lets out a small sigh, agreeing on how: “(I’m afraid you’re right.)” The cold commander then erects a sharp ice spear from the palm of her hand; claiming to the merc how: “(Our cause cannot allow someone of your lethal caliber to stop us, even if it means snuffing out a life as short as yours.)” The city woman then aims her icicles frosted tip onto the young merc’s head; apologizing with: “(And for that...I am truly sorry.)” “(Don’t be.)” Roy denies. From his statement, the ice coating him begins to quickly crack apart at the seems; parts Roy’s body beginning to break free. Hoping to end the purple boy before he can free himself, the ice cold commander thrusts her sharp icy needle at the mercs head. Roy right then and their bursts out from the cold commanders icy prison as his black wings sprout forth; the shock wave breaking apart her thrusting icicle.

Free from the icy leaders cold cage, the purple angel kicks out towards the one who entrapped him in the first place; swinging his leg out towards Ilana’s side. Though the cold commander manages to block the merc’s kick with her icy solid arm, her frosty armor proves no match for angels raw strength; Ilana sent careening across the room. After tumbling back towards the opposite side, the icy leader places her palms upon the wooden floor; a trail of frost snaking through her remaining forces feet and climbing across the wall behind the merc. From behind the purple angel, razor sharp frost blades pop out from the frost; some of which slicing the side of his leg. Roy flies away from the icy wall before the rest of the ice needles could spring out; throwing out a pitch black ball of dark power in his advance towards the terrorists cold commander. Stopping his approach be some of her masked cronies, coming at the purple angel with brass knuckles, chainsaws, and sickles.

As the merc fights off her clustering goons, Ilana herself watches the angels ball of dark power as she creates an icy bat in the palm of her hands; taking a batting stance against the approaching black sphere. With one powerful swing, the cold commander smacks the merc’s own ball of black energy bacl towards the purple angel. Witnessing his own sphere on the brink of returning, Roy grabs hold of one of the commanders cronies and uses him as a human shield; the terrorist exploding in a shroud of black smoke. Soon lunging out from this cloud of darkness be the purple merc, charging right towards the icy leader once more. On the black winged angel’s approach, Ilana plunges her frosted bat right into the wooden floor; the frost spreading out soon erecting a rising block of ice right underneath the merc. The ice halting his lunging flight, Roy attempts to push the rising ice back towards the floor; his back soon meeting with the ceiling in his struggles. Her black winged foe trapped between the roof and her climbing ice, Ilana creates a cavalcade of icy spears to rise out towards the merc. Finally, Roy delivers a powerful headbutt right to the top of the frosty pillar; the cold commanders column of ice shattering into tiny pieces. Discovering the icy spears growing beneath him, the merc blasts away the ascending cavalcade of frosty spikes just before they could reach; Roy snatching one of them right out from the resulting explosion. Twirling in his descent, the purple angel decides to imitate the cold commander and fling one of her spears pointed tips right back at her; Ilana herself erecting a thick icy shield in hopes of stopping her own spears approach. Though her icy javelin manages to halfway pierce through her frosty barrier, Roy on the other hand breaks right through her defense as he tackles through her icy shield.

The purple angels tackling assault sends the terrorists icy leader tumbling right into the wall; Roy landing right before her as she gazes up. The merc looks upon the cold commander with a sinister smirk; a powerful pitch black power charging in his palm as he proclaims: “(Game, set, match.)” Before he could finish off the frosty leader, Roy feels something smack against the back of his head; glancing back to witness the rest of the remaining terrorists scuttling behind the wooden crates. His gaze drifting down, the merc lets out a little chuckle; finding nothing but a grenade aside his feet. “(It’s like you people never learn.)” he scolds as he readies to kick the bomb back. Unfortunatly for him, the grenade goes off earlier than he expects; Roy covering his face from the expecting explosion. Though instead of a violently fiery explosion, the bomb expels a thick pink cloud into the open air; Ilana encasing herself in an icy shell to block out the gas. Turning back towards the cold commander, Roy readies to break through her frosty defenses; claiming how: “(You still think that your shitty ice can still stop me?)” Right before he could end it, his offense soon starts to slowly dwindle; growing ever more tired among the surrounding smoke. “(Sleeping gas?...dammit...)” Driven to the brink of drowsiness, Roy finally descends into a deep slumber; dropping down onto the wooden floor below.

After the gas soon dissipates, Ilana sheds her icy shell and stands back up; gazing upon the merc’s unconscious body. Walking up towards the window, the cold commander looks out towards the Austrian parliament building; witnessing the cars within in its parking lot pulling out. A heavy sigh passing through her lips, she mentions how: “(It’s honestly a joke on how some teenager could spoil our plans so quickly.)” Her comrades start to come out from behind the cover of the crates, some of them approaching the slumbering merc. “(What do we do now?)” one of the questions. It takes the icy leader a second before answering with: “(Clean up here and return to base.)” “(And...the boy?)” “(...That is no boy. That is a demon.)” With that, the terrorist icy cold commander leaps out through the window; her troops staring down on the unconscious Roy.

Gazing down from atop the parliament buildings rooftop, Mally watches as the last of the cars depart from the parking lot; soon merging with the traffic outside. “Whelp, there goes the last of them. Guess Roy managed to stop those terrorists after all.” “Hey Mally, check this out!” her brother tells her. Having grabbed her attention, both Mally and Tore look out towards the building that Roy had flown to; discovering a figure jumping out through the window. Both brother and sister watch as the figure create a slide made of ice that slides her across the neighboring buildings rooftop; the ramp at the end launching her across the city skyline. “I think that might be one of the terrorists tryin to get away. Come on!” the blue boy mentions. “But what about Roy, shouldn’t we go check on him?” the skater questions. “There ain’t no time. He’ll be fine on his own. Let’s move!” From reassuring this, the blue angel takes off towards the escaping terrorist, Mally jumping off the parliament rooftop and skating through the Vienna streets after.

Back within the broken down building, the icy leaders cronies look upon the purple merc’s slumbering body: one of them suggesting that: “(Let’s just get this over with.)” Mentioning this does another from the crowd grab hold of a machete buried deep within the chest of her comrade; pulling the blade out from the depths of their lung. With her blood covered weapon in hand, the henchwoman slowly approaches the sleeping merc; affirming how: “(You’re death shall avenge those that have fallen tonight. May your sins send you to the depths of hell!)” Declaring this does the goon attempt to end the mercs life right there; aiming her swing right at his neck. Her strike however is stopped at the last moment by a single hand; the merc’s arm grasping her machet. Swiftly snatching the blade away, the purple merc plunges the machete straight through the goons stomach; soon falling over to the shock of her comrades.

Their site swiftly turns back towards their purple foe, all of them watching in horror as he arises from the cracked wooden floor; his head slumped forward and covering his face in darkness. All of them await for whatever the purple merc’s first move may be; some slowly retreating towards the exit. Its then that he instantly lunges out towards the crowd, the entire room scattering away from the approaching angel. Out from the fleeing terrorist group, all of them watch in terror as the merc punches his entire arm straight through one of their teammates through the back; their panic skyrocketing from the horrendous site. “(How!? How is that bastard still awake!?)” Dislodging his arms out from the cronies back, the renegades soon witness the purple merc leap out towards the other side of the room. His foot soon meets with the side of another terrorist, kicking their head straight into the wall beside him; the goons head bursting like a tomato on impact. Backing away from the display of carnage, one of them near the scene frantically questions: “(Did the gas even work!?)” Before his question could be answered, the purple merc dashes over to the goon and rips his arms off like printing paper; soon bashing his head in with his own torn limbs. One of them glances back towards the merc and makes a harrowing discovery; answering that: “(The gas...It did work!)” To her claim all of them look towards the murderous merc, Roy’s head tilting back to reveal his eyes still shut; a soft snore passing through his nose. “(He’s still asleep!)” From their, the sleeping angel dashes out towards the terrorist, the last thing she witnesses be his fingers plunging themselves into her eye sockets.

Creating ice slide after slide, the cold commander of the terrorist slides across the lit Vienna streets like a professional ice skater; the civilians scattering away as she travels through the frozen roads. Ahead, she erects another ramp to launch herself high in the air; performing the greatest 360 pirouette through the midnight sky. Ending her twirl, she casts out a wave of frost to the road below; soon creating a slide out of its ice. Her landing ramp is however swiftly destroyed; a bright pale ball blasting the frosty slide to ice shards. Finding her ramp shattered, Ilana coats her feet in a block of ice; the block taking most of the landing and leaving the icy leader unharmed.

After her chilling landing, the cold commander witnesses the blue angel descend before her; floating inches over the frost ridden roads. “I assume you to be with that purple demon?” she asks him in English. “Ya know it! And together, we’re gonna send your icy ass melting straight of hell!” Tore proclaims, taking his stance against the chilling terrorist. “Hmph, good luck trying. Hopefully you do better than you’re black winged comrade did.” Ilana wishes, standing against the blue boy.

Tempting to sneak in a strike from the cold commander, Mally leaps out from behind her back; ready to swing her hockey stick at the back of her chilling foes neck. Unfortunately, her swing is caught by the last second; the icy terrorist grasping the skaters weapon mere inches from her neck. The very moment that the chilling leader turns back towards her assaulter, Mally’s eyes alight; her face flushing bright red from gazing at her icy smooth features. Bewitched by her cold stare, Mally proves far too distracted to stop her icy adversary from throwing her aside. Careening through the air, the skater find herself tumbling out towards a window; soon casting her grapple you out towards a street lamp and pulling herself to safety. After recovering from her tumbling spiel, Mally skates to her brothers side; Tore wondering if: “You alright, Mal?” “That face...” she utters. “What?” “Never did I think that somebody so ice cold could be so unbelievably hot. I wonder if her mouth taste like ice cream?” “Mally!” Upon her brothers exclamation, the skater snaps out of infatuated daze; hearing her brother continue with: “Put it back in you pants, and focus! We got a fight on our hands!” “You’re blue comrade is right young lady.” they hear their foe advise. Glancing back towards the cold commander, both of them witness frost swirling around Ilana’s hands as she informs that: “If not careful, your infatuation could spell your downfall.”

From where she stands, Ilana casts out a waves of icy needles out from the palms of her hands; the small spears flying out towards the duo before her. While Mally rolls away from the oncoming icy storm, Tore stands his ground and blocks against the cold barrage; the tiny sharp spears breaking upon impact. From her icy salvo, the cold commander watches her roller blading foe jump out towards the row of buildings beside them; the skater gliding over their smooth brickwork walls. Nearing the icy renegades side, Mally leaps off of these walls in attempts to take another swing at her. Ilana erects a massive block of ice to halt her rollerblading foes strike, taken aback how much cracks the skater put onto the thick, icy pillar. This amazement gives the skaters blue brother the moment to approach; swiftly punching the cold commander across the frosted streets. Tumbling through the cold hard roads, Ilana acts fast and cast out frost to the road ahead; erecting a curving ramp that flings her back towards the night sky. Careening above the Vienna streets, the icy renegade aims her legs down towards the blue angel below; coating her feet in a spike covered shell of ice as she descend. Tore swiftly jumps back away from the leaders lethal descent; her spiky ice block shattering upon impact. Some of the scattering pieces wind up getting into the blue angel’s eye in his retreat; Tore covering his face from the flung shard. With the blue angel blinded, Ilana dashes forth and readies to finish him; unaware of the skater trailing right at her side. With third time being the charm, Mally strikes her chilling foe away from her blinded brother; Ilana sent flying towards a nearby lamp post. Quickly constructing an icy sickle in her hands, she hooks herself onto the lamp post; the momentum from her careen rising her right to its top.

Landing gracefully upon the lamps metal cap, the cold commander looks towards the blue angel; Tore whipping away the last of her ice as his site turns towards her. His gaze locked onto their icy adversary, the blue boy fires out a beam of light out towards Ilana; the chilling leader rocketing out from the rays reach with a rising pillar of ice. In her ascending rise in the sky, the cold commander rains down countless icy swallows upon the duo; the birds heavy enough to smash through the cars left on the wayside. While the blue angel rises through the aviary hailstorm, Mally twirls her hockey stick to block against the icy barrage; the birds breaking against her spinning weapons surface.

Ascending through the chilling onslaught, the blue angel powers through the flock until reaching the cold commander herself. From the midst of the barrage, Tore grabs hold of the icy terrorists neck; heaving her overhead and throwing her right towards the streets below. Plummeting towards the concrete roads below, Ilana begins to coat herself in a protective layer of ice; bracing herself for the crash down. Witnessing their icy enemy drop towards the roads below, Mally races after before she can drop; moving through the streets at the speed of sound. With one momentum carrying swing, the rollerblader breaks through the cold commanders icy defenses; sending her chilling enemy careening through the Vienna streets. Ilana soon manages to regain her balance, landing on all fours and sliding back through the concrete roads; a trail of frost left behind in her drag. From the frost do a whole pack of icy leopards jump out into the streets; racing out towards the skater.

Back within the darkness of the abandoned building, the purple merc slowly begins to open his eyes; rubbing the top of his head as he growls out. Dammit! Of course it was a fucking sleep grenade. Why else would those assholes throw an explosive near their own leader. Bitch knew it was one too. Why she shield herself a second time. When those asshole show themselves...again? His thoughts are swiftly silenced upon the site set before him: dozens of torn open, militated bodies littering the room. Oh no. Standing himself up, Roy moves through puddles of blood spilling out through the wooden floor; the spilled organs squishing underneath his feet as he walks through the room. Not again. Roy’s eyes lock upon one of the henchman’s corpse, his mask fallen off to reveal the lifeless pupils staring out into nothingness. God dammit! They were supposed to squeal where their base was at. Slowly beating the info out of them like punching the stuffing out of a screaming heavy bag Now how the hell are we supposed to find there hideout? Questioning such does the merc hear an explosion coming from outside; flying out from window and gazing out behind the abandoned building. Along the streets, the purple angel could find the site of white rays and ice shooting above the buildings; sensing three familiar presences among the chaos. Guessin Tore and Mally wound up chasin after that icy mocha brain freeze of a bitch while she was getting away. Its then that an idea sprouts within Roy’s head, devious smile painting itself across his face as he pulls out his phone. Might just be able to save this whole thing yet.

Back out in the frost covered roads, Ilana stands before the duo; finding the angel and skater nowhere near exhausted as she beginning to feel. Soon, the sound of sirens start to echo through the Vienna streets; the cold commander turning back to discover flashes of red and blue approaching in the distance. A growl seeps out from her teeth before she barks out: “(I don’t have time for this!)” After declaring this, the icy renegade takes in a vast deep breath; bellowing out a thick chilling blizzard towards the two. Both the angel and skater ground themselves midst the freezing gale; Tore blocking against its winds, while Mally pierces the end of her hockey stick in the asphalt road and holds on. The icy storm swiftly passes before either of them realize it; the brother and sister gazing ahead to find their chilling adversary having vanished. “Dammit! Where she go?” Mally question. “She couldn’t have gone far.” Tore declares, soon rising out towards the Austrian night sky. Mally prepares to follow after, but the sound of her ringing phone urges her to stop; pulling her device out from her pocket to find Roy on the other end.

Ascending up through the pitch black sky; the blue angel encircle around him for any sign of the escaping terrorist; eventually finding bits of ice floating out from between a pair of buildings. Diving down towards the alleyway, Tore soon finds their icy target and swoops in after her; Ilana launching out a massive icy pillar up towards the approaching angel. The freezing column fails to even slow down her pursuers advance, Tore landing right on top of the icicle and sliding down its slick surface. Descending down into the alley itself, Tore leaps out towards the chilling renegade; ready to finish her off. Acting fast, Ilana ducks under the approaching angels charge; tossing out bits of frost right into his eyes as he passes through. “Ah! Not again!” he exclaims while tumbling through the alley; careening head first into a brick wall. As the blue boy pulls himself out from the alleyway wall, the cold commander sprints right past him. Dislodging himself from the brickwork, Tore whips the frost out from his eyes; healing them with a bright glow from the palms of his hands. His site returning, the angel catches a glimpse of the freezing terrorist running out into the lit Vienna streets; dashing out in turn to continue his pursuit.

As Ilana skates through the concrete roads, she looks back to see her angelic pursuer swiftly closing in; the chilling woman casting out a cavalcade of icy piranhas back at the approaching angel. Witnessing the school of ice piranha nearing, Tore begins to spin about in his charge; his twirl shattering the barrage of frosty carnivorous fish. Finding her school having been destroyed, the cold commander then throws out a salvo of freezing heavy hammers towards the pursing blue boy. The blue angel punches through the onslaught of mallet; grabbing hold of one of the hammers and flinging them right back towards their sender. The freezing terrorist jumping over her own returning mallet, Ilana quickly creates a huge frost beast in her escape; the monster landing before the blue boy and letting out a chilling roar. With nothing but two punches and a kick, Tore breaks the fierce icy beast to pieces; flying over the monsters remains and closes in.

The blue boys pursuit starts to come to a close; Tore reaching out towards the icy terrorist as he slowly approaches. His finger be mere inches from the cold woman shoulder; the blue angel ready to finally snatch the freezing renegade once and for all. Just when Tore was on the verge of catching her, he feels something wrap around his shoulder; soon jerked away from his escaping target. Sent careening back, the blue boy can do little but watch as Ilana escapes from his site; soon tumbling through the open Vienna roads.

His tumble soon stopping, Tore traces the string hugging his waist; trailing the wire back towards his sisters yoyo. The skater approaching the tangled angel, she hears her brother wonder: “What’s your deal, Mally!? I was just on the verge of pinning her down!” Asking such, he finds his skating sibling handing him her phone; mentioning that: “Roy wants a word.” Taking the mobile device from Mally’s grasp, the blue boy puts it up to his ear and asks: “What’s up my purple bro?” “Listen here. Gonna have to ask the both of ya to stop chasin down that sweet piece of frosty sundae ass.” the purple merc orders. “What? Why?” “Changing the game plan a bit here. We’ll let that icy bitch slide for now. Let her get just comfortable enough to lead us back to her lair. Don’t matter where she tries to hide, her energy’ll give her spot away all the same.” “Oooh, nice one. Mind if I call this little operation of ours “Caught in the cold”? “God dammit.” Roy curses. “No, Tore!” Mally barks. “What the hell, man.” “Seriously bro, don’t.”

[admittedlynotspartacus]

“Game of Thrones” Season VIII: Episode 3 - Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

All right people - so some shit went down, and between Avengers: Endgame and this, I imagine the entire nerd populace of the world is going to be comatose this week. You have permission to take a break from twerking for a moment, because damn. But first, let’s unpack.

WARNING: SPOILERS for the latest episode. So if you don’t know who dies, who fucks who, and how to turn the brightness up on your TV high enough, turn back now.

So we start out like La La Land with like a long tracking shot checking in on a bunch of people. We’ve got Sam bopping around all -

Before he passes it off to P-Dinky, who’s like -

While Lady Sophia Grace is just like -

Except it’s all just like... morbidly depressing. And Bran is there.

So yeah Bran is off to the godswood where I’m sure he’s going to do something very very important, while everyone else is chilling on the battlements. We’ve got Sansa.

And Barack.

And Gendry.

Anyway, the horses are starting to get kinda impatient. And like oh wow Ghost is here!

When suddenly we start pulling in on the darkness opposite our heroes. And I’m like-

But we don’t get any zombies yet because first who should come clomp clomping in but Big Red herself, riding solo.

And people she’s got a real special pre-game ritual she wants to share when she goes full Oprah like, “YOU GET A FIRE SWORD! AND YOU GET A FIRE SWORD! AND YOU GET A FIRE SWORD!”

So Big Red is strutting into Winterfell all -

And Davos is like, “Um, can we talk about Baby Girl Dragonface?” And Big Red is just like -

And anyway there’s no time, because the Dothraki are charging. We’ve got Jorah, we’ve got fire catapults, we’ve got Ghost all -

And it’s really fucking fierce but they’re also running into the darkness and I’m like -

Well, it turns out they couldn’t see what the fuck they were headed toward either because all of a sudden they’re like -

And all the fires just go -

Everybody’s like -

Anyway, D-Baby and J-Snow are doing what they do best and being boring on a cliff somewhere. And J-Snow’s all, “Blah blah blah gotta wait for the Night Queen.” But D-Baby’s like, “Those are my boys.”

And like, thank God because the zombies. Are. Here. So they’re rushing our Unsullied bros all -

And people are just getting fucking mauled. Except like, Brienne. And Jaime. And Tormund. And Pod. And Gendry. And Sam. But like everyone who we don’t know? They’re getting mauled. Until Deus Ex D-Baby swoops in once again all -

And like, thank God her indiscriminate fire blasting doesn’t wind up killing any of our heroes, because like. That would be crazy. 

Joining the derby is J-Snow, who is suddenly a whiz at flying a dragon thanks to his Impromptu Booty Call Lesson. And he sees the Frosty Posse (copyright John Way) literally CHILLING at the edge of the woods and is like -

Until the Posse’s like -

Thereby creating worse whiteout conditions than when I was driving home from my grandma’s two Christmases ago. AND THAT SHIT WAS BAD! So like all the good guys and the zombies are like -

But the snow’s like -

And I’m like -

Except That One Night’s Watch Guy died. That was sad.

At this point, Sansa’s like, “I’ma go see how things are down in the crypt.” But she’s greeted by like the shadiest looks ever, to which she’s just like -

And GURL. Things are not going well upstairs, because everyone has quickly gone from this -

to this -

While D-Baby and J-Snow are flying around like Diana Ross in the blizzard scene from The Wiz. SIDEBAR: THERE IS NO GIF OF THAT BUT YOU TRULY MUST LOOK IT UP BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING BATSHIT AND ALSO A VERY APPROPRIATE COMPARISON FOR THIS SHIT.

So everybody’s charging back into Winterfell and Barack is trying to light some big trench thing. But it’s so fucking dark and blizzardy that D-Baby’s like -

And so our boys keep trying all these different non-dragon ways to light them but the zombies are just like -

So at this point I legit think Barack is gonna jump in like -

But then I remember WE GOT BIG RED! Who decides to take this opportunity to move. So. Fucking. Slowly.

Finally she gets to the trench and she’s all -

And the trench is like -

Meanwhile, down in the crypts, Varys is like, “At least we’re already in a crypt.” And I’m like - IN THIS SITUATION THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING! Like, in the “Game Revealed” doc on this episode, Peter Dinklage literally says, “We’re fighting a guy who can bring the dead back to life and we’ve put the women and children in the crypt. Tyrion’s smart, but I guess not that smart...”

Anyway, back to Bran.

who suddenly is all -

And it’s kinda like, “Fine, Bran, you’re real shitty company anyway.” So he like Vision Quests into the ravens, who fly around for no other purpose other than to give the Night Queen her grand Season 8 entrance.

So she’s here, she’s fierce, her head is her crown, get used to it. And what better way to kick things off than waving her little hand and making all the zombies go -

right into the fire. So now we gotta defend the wall. Except they’re all like -

While the Night Queen finds J-Snow and is like -

Anyway, there’s a lot more fighting.

And in the middle of it all, the Hound is in full meltdown mode.

Luckily Arya’s here all -

And then something crazy happens. So like Lady Sophia Grace is back.

When suddenly, the Zombie Version of the Giant Who Doesn’t Like People Looking At Him crashes the party like -

And ohmigod he is so fucking rude he just like BITCHSLAPS Lady Sophia Grace to the ground.

And then Lady Sophia screams like the fucking fierce bitch she is and charges him, only to get squeezed like a mother. fucking. bug. And the Giant is like totally gonna fucking eat her.

But she’s still like -

And she stabs him in the fucking eye. 

She still dies though. RIP Lady Sophia.

Okay, so somewhere in the middle of all this, THIS happens to Arya -

So she’s running around the castle with like a minor concussion all -

until she stumbles into the Library Section of the Haunted Mansion, where the more literate zombies are browsing.

So she distracts them with a diversion.

Yes, Legolas, that’s what I just fucking said. And then she’s outta there. But not before accidentally kabobbing Sharon Needles, who was just on her way to pick up a nice periodical, causing Sharon to relive her best runway -

Like, thanks Arya for making her even more fierce.

Anyway, she finally gets out of there and she’s all -

But then the zombies are like -

and then it’s just like -

Until she runs into the Hound and Eyepatch Dude, who totally bites it in a fierce-ass Jesus pose to save her.

RIP Eyepatch Dude.  Okay, at this point Arya and the Hound happen to find the one room with a door the zombies can’t Koolaid-Man through, and who should be chilling in there but BIG RED! And she’s all, “What do we say to the God of Death?” And Arya’s like -

Meanwhile, the Night Queen’s starting to blow shit up when J-Snow’s dragon attacks hers and totally Mike Tysons it.

So the Night Queen’s all -

and J-Snow’s dragon is all -

Meanwhile, D-Baby finds the Night Queen and is all -

But Ms. Queen is just like -

and heads off into the castle with the biggest shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen in your life. So J-Snow’s after him all -

And Ms. Queen turns.

Before deciding to recreate her greatest hit - 

J-Snow’s like -

But it’s too late, because everyone is all -

And Ms. Queen just turns around like -

Okay, so meanwhile down in the crypt, everyone is totally shook that the dead are coming back to life and I’m just like -

While upstairs, D-Baby is too busy staring at J-Snow to realize the zombies are mauling her dragon for autographs! So the dragon is like -

But winds up knocking D-Baby off!!! So she’s like totally gone-zo when who should come to her rescue but Jorah!

Anyway, J-Snow’s trying to get to Bran, because like - God forbid he get interrupted on his raven joyride. And he sees Sam, who seems to be spending this entire episode all -

But J-Snow’s like -

So anyway, shit’s really hitting the fan now, and P-Dinky and Sansa are looking at each other all -

When the music decides to bring things down a bit.

And it’s just like zombie dragon flipping out, people dying, Jorah going all -

And meanwhile Theon and the Ironborn have decided that the best way to protect Bran is just to use arrows? But like now Theon has a spear? Anyway, Ms. Queen and the Frosty Posse are strutting into the godswood all -

And Bran has had enough fucking around with the ravens, so he comes back to earth long enough to tell Theon -

Which I guess translates to, “Go charge the Magic Ice Man For Me Even Though He’s Def Gonna Kill You, Charlie Brown.” Anyway, Theon? He dead, and so Ms. Queen can truck on to Bran like -

Until finally he’s there. And Ms. Queen is all -

And Bran is like -

And truly truly truly I thought it was gonna end here. Or like, Ms. Queen would take Bran and that’d be that. But never in a million years, and I mean a MILLION YEARS did I think Arya was gonna come flying in like -

‘Cause she goes -

And he goes -

And then everything’s just like -

At this point everyone ON the show, WATCHING the show, or in any way affiliated with the show is just like -

Except for Bran. ‘Cause like. Of course.

So now all that’s left is for Big Red to walk off into the sunset all -

Sleep, Big Red. You done good.

BOOB COUNT: NONE! BODY COUNT: Bitch, I’m not counting. But RIP Dolorous Edd, Lady Sophia Grace, Beric Dondarrion, Theon Greyjoy, Zombie Viserion, The Night Queen, Jorah Mormont, Melisandre EPISODE GRADE: B+

THE SER POUNCE MEMORIAL FOR STRAY THOUGHTS

First off, a very sincere hats off to director Miguel Sapochnik (of “Hardhome,” “Battle of the Bastards,” and “The Winds of Winter”) and the entire cast and crew for pulling this off. Thrones spoils us, but the fact of the matter is that no other show is giving this level of production on television, and the technical virtuosity on display is out of this world. Check out “The Game Revealed” for this week for a 40-minute deep dive into the 55-night shoot that was this episode - it’s good stuff. Now, let’s pick it apart a little.

Okay, so very cool, we have the Dothraki with the flaming arakhs charging and then the flames going out, but like - what was the plan here? Because everybody knows you gotta burn these zombies to really end them, and they didn’t know Melisandre was coming. So essentially, they were just gonna charge their best fighters at the zombies and like… see what happened?

The sequence after the fires went out and some horses and Dothraki and Jorah came running back was haunting. But I did think it was foreboding something other than just like “We’re running away from zombies.”

Jon’s first line of the episode and seemingly the only thing he says anymore, “The Night King is coming.” In fact, because he’s said this so fucking much, I’d forgotten that Daenerys and he were charged primarily with taking out the Night King. This could’ve been established a little better. Like yes they talked about it last episode, but I could’ve used being re-oriented insofar as “Okay, these two are with the dragons over here literally waiting till the Night King shows himself” because I found myself often wondering why the fuck they weren’t just roasting zombies.

There was obviously an unprecedented scope to this battle, and seeing grand moments like the Unsullied defending the gate was a really cool payoff for an army we’ve been with for 6 seasons now.

That said, something I thought was highly unsuccessful about this episode was how detached it felt from last week’s, which reinvested me in pretty much all these characters. The wider and chaotic look at this battle made it hard to focus on those characters, and while I appreciated the immersion of the sequence, it grew tiring for me.

A nice zoom-in moment is with Grey Worm at the gate, trying to figure out what to do. But the geography of where Melisandre was and when the idea came to him to use her for the trench was confusing.

“Maybe we should have stayed married.” “You were the best of them.” “What a terrifying thought.”

Ramin Djawadi started this awesome White Walker cue back on “Hardhome” that sounds like a clock ticking and I love it every time he uses it. Also his cue “The Night King” is perfection.

Great use of color in this episode to delineate the stages of the battle. And I know we’re all giving it shit for being hard to see, but I’d imagine the blizzardy chaos and the hellfire that dominates the trench section helped them stretch their budget by obscuring most of the backgrounds.

Love, love, loved the library scene.

Let’s not pretend they didn’t crib Helm’s Deep pretty hard here. Melisandre’s arrival was the Elves, the crypts were the glittering caves. We had wall climbing and very similar all is lost moments. It’s a good thing to steal from, but let’s not pretend.

Beautiful work from Sophie Turner and Peter Dinklage in the crypts.

I was very satisfied by all the major deaths this week, in particular Theon’s, but the idea that Bran had to rubber stamp that Theon was “a good man” irritated me a little. The whole thing of Thrones has been that these people are complicated, and Theon is one of the most complicated. So to just sweep it all under the rug and come down hard on one side of it felt reductive. Anyway, RIP Alfie Allen, one of my favorite actors on the show.

RIP also to Iain Glen, our Jorah 5EVER.

Alas, Bran is still with us, and he was another hugely unsuccessful element of the episode. Using him as the Macguffin was a good idea, but D&D never succeeded at explaining what it was that was so important about him to the Night King. Likewise, when he went into the ravens and people were protecting him, wouldn’t it have been stronger if he was actually doing something of use? Something that if it was interrupted would ruin everything? Rather than just joy-riding?

I’ve seen a lot of people wish more characters had died, and I hear that. But it’s a tricky thing at this point on the show. As much as Thrones has been unafraid of killing its characters, it’s never done it in a random way. Ned died as a consequence for his actions, as do pretty much all the major characters on the show. To just randomly start killing them sounds like something that would happen in a battle, sure, but would be largely unsatisfying. And we know these characters so well now that moments need to be made of their demises. I thought the show did an excellent job of dispatching a fairly substantial crew of major characters in a satisfying way, but too much of this and it’s gonna get tiring.

Speaking of which, the Night King. Okay, so Arya killing him was obviously outstanding, made even more satisfying by the fact that it made complete sense with her arc and that Sapochnik was so successful in setting it up so clearly in the episode and then making us completely forget about it. When she stabbed him and he exploded, I honestly could not believe what I was seeing. One of the most satisfying crowd-pleaser moments I’ve ever seen.

That said, the thing that stinks up this episode for me is not that it was hard to see or that not enough people died, but that the White Walkers ultimately amounted to nothing. I love love love the device of killing them with three episodes left to go and refocusing the show on the political, but the Night King was such an amazing villain because of his mystery and the promise that one day we’d find out what his M.O. was. I worried last week that when the characters perfunctorily said he wants to destroy history, that was all we’d get in the way of that but sadly, it seems it may be. We should’ve known they wouldn’t handle this very well when they swept the White Walker origin story under the rug in Season 6, but it’s very disappointing to see that ultimately he was just a bad dude. The way it ended was epic, but we deserved to know more about motivations and the stakes of the situation before it was all over. To sum it up, D&D are very lucky that their fairly mid-level writing is in the hands of a master like Sapochnik and a dynamite cast and crew.

NEXT WEEK: Cersei’s back.