#anyway this is also my attempt at getting better on posting on tiktok

[curtins]

do you think toji and/or sukuna are into looksmaxxing. i need to know.

choso is probably near to tears just thinking about it - he's having a hard time adjusting to all these new trends anyways, wdym there's a whole section of it now?

i feel like gojo just flexes his "natural" looks, nanami doesn't even know he has them until someone comments on your post saying "you won/we're so back."

omg hellaurrr i really pulled out a notebook to jot these down (this isn't even a joke, my keyboard was messing with me but i was worried i'd forget to answer properly) but now i may transcribe my notes on jjk + looksmaxxing 😭 ���� u always send me the funniest things

gojo once found a wrinkle on his forehead and cancelled class for the day. now he sleeps with a cucumber and a jade roller. when he gets drunk, he claims that a kpop idol dm'ed him for advice on clear skin, never says who though (#liar) and in high school he used a self tanner once because suguru once likened him to an overgrown, pale musty mushroom. ended up with orange streaks everywhere. does pilates but will never admit it. wishes that in another life he was an influencer just so someone would send him pr packages because its nice to get presents in a box. definitely calls himself an icon.

geto thinks essential oils are a part of looksmaxxing so he feels better on the inside. literally floats around like a walking bottle of sandalwood and lavender. tried growing facial hair because he thought it would be great to accentuate his jawline, but someone called him a discount samurai and he had to cancel the cult meeting that day. thinks looksmaxxing isn't just physical but also a state of mind, so he carries around books like crime and punishment to look smart. thought that wearing glasses would make him look smarter and had a phase where he wore fake ones and not one person complimented them.

sukuna secretly has a stash of protein powder. it goes in everything, smoothies and sprinkled over raw meat. says that he doesn't give a flying fuck about these things, but used to read old, ancient scrolls about medieval skincare. got uraume to make him a scrub from red spider lilies and wondered why his skin was burning sooo bad afterwards. sharpens his nail with blades and claims its better than just normally clipping your nails, but he always ends up scratching himself bad. has a collection of sheet masks. has the best eyebrows of all time and knows this (gets them plucked). has an anonymous #hater tiktok account where he comments rude things under gojo's posts.

nanami. you are soooo right, he probably doesn't know or give a fuck about these things because he's actually employed. but hates the idea of a ten step skincare routine for he thinks that the best routine is simple: cleanser + moisturiser + sunscreen. believes in the power of a neutral toned wardrobe with clean, tailored silhouettes. but there are photos of him out there from when he was 18 years old, with black eyeliner on his waterline. shoots down everyone's ridiculous looksmaxxing attempts. jawline exercises? just chew your food properly. botox and fillers? try eight hours of sleep before reaching for the needles. want to post a glow up journey? well, just focus on yourself and move in silence. kind of gojo's biggest opp for all this, and being so clean and put together effortlessly...

[yourlocalabomination]

God gave me Procreate Dreams and a vision.

[kuroppiii]

  soft launch ᵕ̈        timeskip! sakusa kiyoomi x gn reader ˎˊ˗

⋮⋮ ˒ ₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ 𖥻 ⿻ : it's just a silly   ⋮⋮  little tiktok, nothing major ... ⋮⋮  right ?

📋 content     ♡ # 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧 🐮     ♡ # 𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘵 🥛     ♡ # 2.6k 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴

🎶 on shuffle “ never lose me ” - flo milli ( specifically the trending clip of " yeah he my man , he was never your type . if you try me , ho it ' s on sight " , but whatever tiktok audio you ended up using is up to you lol <3 )

🧸 directory ‹ ✩  like what you read ? check out more of my blog !  •ᴗ•

💬 kuroppiii ─ “ first time i ' ve pulled myself together to write about sakusa bc when i think about him , i simply can ' t think straight . an exaggeration ? man i wish !! ”

you weren’t anyone special, really. you lived your life, pursuing your goals and hobbies, spending time with those you love. there were things you were good at, sure, but any sort of recognition or praise for those things only ever came from those closest to you. if you walked down the street, no one would bat an eye. "ordinary" couldn't have described you any better.

your boyfriend on the other hand, star wing spiker and outside hitter of the msby jackals, jersey number 15, sakusa kiyoomi certainly was a bit extra-ordinary in the public's eye.

if you took any of his official social media accounts, they easily skyrocketed ahead of any of your accounts in the sheer numbers of following or likes or views. but that's only natural, as the reasons you love your boyfriend–talented, cool, handsome–surely would be shared by the thousands he's subjected to by being in the limelight of the popular and successful pro-volleyball team.

but what else is natural, is that you've always wanted to be able to "soft launch" him, your boyfriend. you've scrolled through your tiktok "for you" page and your pinterest feeds and have undoubtedly saved every "soft launch inspo <3" post you've seen.

the idea was just perfect, you thought–sakusa often prefers not having his face in photos or videos anyway.

to sakusa, however, well... he didn’t really get it until you sat down and had to explain it. you always found it ironic he was never the most active online despite having the bigger following count between the two of you, after all.

“so you want to go public?” he asked, a bit of surprise in his voice.

"well, yes. but also no," you tried to clarify, leaving him with an even more perplexed face that tugged at your lips as you smiled and calmly continued with your elaboration.

you and him have discussed how to navigate your relationship with his volleyball stardom in the past before. it's not like your closest friends and family didn't know about your relationship, but granted, some of your more casual friends and acquaintances who followed your socials probably didn't entirely know either.

the general public definitely did not know, though, of course. but that's why you'd just post something on your accounts, significantly smaller than his.

“are you okay with that?" you made sure to confirm with him, after explaining your thought process on the whole idea.

he came over to you and placed his hands on your hips gently, a concentrated look in attempts to understand your idea adorning his features as he spoke, “i mean, i'd love to be able to finally let everyone know about us–but really it's up to you if you're okay with it. when it comes to things like this—always has, love.”

and what he said was true, from the moment you started dating he was always trying to protect your peace from the media and reporters and cameras. to him, you were like his private repose from all that. but admittedly, as time went on, you both came to realize keeping your relationship under wraps could get pretty hard at times, especially when you wished to go on normal dates out and about instead of resorting to small secluded get-togethers with the handful of people you who knew or nights spent inside your home.

you shook your head as you reached up to brush some of his curls out of his face, revealing his beauty marks above his eye—brows subtly knit together as he considered how your idea might play out in the longrun.

his arms lovingly pull you even closer as you reassure him, "it's just my friends and family who might see it, anyway. it's just a fun little thing to do, omi, that's all!"

،   そ   ✧   の後    🌱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 ...

a few days later, you and sakusa had an event to attend with the rest of his team. it was a nice dinner so you were all dressed up–the perfect get-up to record a small tiktok or two to satisfy your boredom as you waited for your boyfriend to finish getting ready himself.

as you scrolled through your saved audios, you stood by the humble expanse of wall where sakusa had some of his volleyball medals and trinkets displayed in your shared apartment. then it hit you: this would be the perfect opportunity for that soft launch you were thinking about.

he didn't even have to be there, you could just have his framed "sakusa 15" jersey and recognitions with his name on it in the background as you sang along to a song. it was simple. a little ostentatious? maybe. but you thought it was subtle and fun enough to entertain the people who followed you and were going to see it.

so you picked an audio and started recording. your accessories for going out that night glimmered with the gold medals on the wall in the dim lights of the apartment as you lip-synced to the lyrics, showing off your outfit with a slightly sly attitude of making claim to your relationship with sakusa–claim to what rightfully was yours.

but just as the timer on your video was up, you hear sakusa’s voice approaching from down the hallway, his watch clattering as he's trying to put it on, "what are you doing?"

you break out into a sheepish smile as you rush over to end the video timer manually, "nothing! let's head out!"

in the car on the way to the event, you posted the video and thought nothing about it. no tags, no caption, no nothing–just something cheeky for your friends and family to see and hopefully get a small kick out of.

،   そ   ✧   の後    🌱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗻 ...

late the next morning after you wake up, you stretch over to your bedside table to grab your phone to do a first-thing-in-the-morning doom scroll. sakusa's still peacefully snoozing away–head tucked under your jaw, soft breaths fanning your neck, arm secured around your waist, and legs tangled with yours under the sheets–when you open up one of your socials and realize you've gained thousands of followers overnight... literally.

you swipe past notifications of your friends texting you dozens of messages to see that hundreds of comments have flooded the most recent post you made–pictures of you and those same friends on a day out in the city–no sakusa in sight yet a lot of the new comments gave mention to him.

almost thinking you're still asleep and dreaming, you scroll through the words total strangers have left for you. it was such a mixed bag: some were mean, some were just confused, and some were even very nice, complementing you on your appearance.

there were a few, however, that mentioned a certain "repost".

"here from the repost"

"RAN to see this after seeing the repost"

"it's been less than a day and there's already so many comments about the repost lol"

and so you go to look up your name with the word "repost" attached to it, and are met with dozens of articles about your "viral tiktok reposted by msby's sakusa kiyoomi seemingly hints at volleyball star's secret relationship".

shocked, but still trying not wake up said volleyball star with your reaction as he clung to you on your shared bed, you quickly switch over to your tiktok to look back at the video you had posted just the night before.

surely enough as you let the video play out, the buttons on the right-hand side of your phone screen displayed astronomically larger numbers than that you've ever seen something you've posted in your life track before.

as the video plays the moment sakusa had called out to you–with you smiling to somewhere off camera before getting up close to the camera and cutting off the recording–you look down lower on the screen and see “msby sakusa reposted”. his official account. (you knew this bc he had you help him set up his personal one, the name of which you set up to come up as simply his nickname amongst friends "omi" with the cleaning sponge and bubbles emoji.)

hearing the audio of the video, you can feel sakusa stir at your side, his brows furrow against your skin as he peeks out from under his messy bedhead of curls to look at what you could be watching so soon after waking up.

after processing it was a video of you, one of his hands wordlessly part from where it was snaked around your waist and reaches up to tap on the little heart icon on the side of your screen.

then his hand returns to where it was, and he retreats back to the space between your collarbone and your jaw, hoping to quickly be lulled back to sleep just for a bit more before you two would have to get up and get on with your day.

but after a brief moment, you can suddenly feel the vibration of his voice against your skin, groggy and sloughed down by drowsiness to a deep treble as he lazily mumbled, “oh... that was your phone. was wondering why it wasn’t liked yet. i could've sworn i did already...”

his words set loose butterflies in your stomach, knowing despite his limited time spent online, he still does everything to let you know he loves you, even if it takes making a small heart icon light up on a video you post. but soon that warm feeling goes away, as your concern quickly overcomes it given the current situation at hand.

“omi," you coo, an attempt to not let on in your voice how you were slightly freaking out as to not disturb his peaceful state, "did you repost it? my video?”

“of course i did,” he replied in a heartbeat. you could feel his breathing start to slow down, him on the brink of slipping back into continuing his slumber.

you also felt he didn't quite realize the implications of what he did.

“you looked nice in it,” you hear him drawl out, after being met with your contemplative silence.

you hummed as you asked a follow up question, “did you do it with your personal account?”

“mhmm,” he sounds so content when he hums back in reply, bliss apparent as he spoke being tangled up with you as sunlight peeked in through the bedroom windows.

one of your hands paused the tiktok from playing and departed from where it clutched your phone to comb through sakusa's hair–partly to calm your nerves and partly in adoration at the realization he was so eager to show you his affection, that he didn’t check which account he was on before he reposted your video.

you tried your best to say your next words carefully and gently, “well i don’t think you did, babe."

"hm?"

trying to act nonchalant about it, you continue, "i gained, like, a thousand followers while we were sleeping.”

"hm?!!"

you no longer feel his curls under your fingertips as he retreats from his little hiding spot, now confronting your phone screen where surely enough, he caught a glimpse of the numbers your video was doing, as well as the little tag that, yes, it does look like he reposted your video using his official msby account.

he was wide awake now as one of his hands go to rake through his locks, and he starts rambling despite how his voice definitely wasn't caught up from his sleep yet, “y/n, angel, i'm so sorry. i didn't even check, i should've. i should've been more careful. now everyone know's about it, and it's all my fault. is anyone being mean to you about it? i can say something, or post something, right now, or—“

you cut his running mouth off with a kiss, dropping your phone in your lap to cup the sides of his face before you pull away.

"you're not... you're not mad at me?" he asks softly, eyes searching yours nervously.

a moment ago you were feeling a little more than uneasy at the thought that you weren't going to be just an ordinary person anymore. but now, seeing how much sakusa cared and doted over you, you realize you'll be fine. because you won't be dealing with it alone. you had someone extraordinary to be by your side each step of the way.

“no, omi. i'm not mad," you tell him through a warm smile, "at least we don't have to hide it anymore."

you feel him slightly nod in your hands, still on edge as he intently listens and hangs onto your every word. you could never get mad at that face. you can't resist the urge to brush your nose against his because of how cute you thought your boyfriend was.

"and besides, it still wasn’t a hard launch. we don't have to confirm anything just yet. so by social media rules... i can still post some more soft launches before we do that, no?" you say with a hint of mischief in your tone, making sakusa break out into a smile as he chuckles and places his hands over yours at the sides of his face.

"y'know what we always say," you continue with a more genuine voice, barely above a whisper, "we won’t let them get to us. we don't owe them anything–let them figure it out. what’s done is done, so let’s just have fun with it, okay?”

you're blessed with the sight of sakusa's dimpled smile growing even wider and before you know it he's all over you, on top of you smothering you with kisses, making you laugh as you try to pry him off of you.

he finally pauses to hover over you, his eyes with the slightest creases at their corners because of how he was smiling down at you, “thanks for bearing with me. not just my social media incompetence, but–for dealing with my… everything, i guess. i love you.”

the sheets ruffle around you as you gingergly wrap your arms up and around his neck, “i love you too omi. always will.”

you reach to grab your phone, buried somewhere in the blanket draped over the two of you, and sakusa rolls off of you as he finds it first and hands it to you. now it was your turn to ramble on, “how about we do the one where you stand behind me and hold the phone really high? or the one where you pick me up and spin me around in a random parking lot? or maybe i should make a video wearing your jersey–? oh my god that'd be diabolical, don't you think omi?"

he laughs into your shoulder at your eagerness as you spend the rest of the morning scrolling through soft launch videos online that you can save to copy later.

“i’ll do anything," he tells you, "i want to show you off–because now i can properly do it the way you've always deserved, love.”

       ⇩  ⇩  ⇩ 𝘽𝙊𝙉𝙐𝙎 ::

a few weeks (and a few more soft-launch tiktoks you both had fun with) later, although you and sakusa never publicly confirmed anything yet, his fans practically accepted that you and him were an item.

you even had the pleasure of seeing some fan-made edits of you come across your feed and appreciatively dropping a few likes on them yourself. but there was one in particular when you peeked into the comments of the video.

the original poster had commented on their own edit: "GUYS SAKUSA GAVE MY EDIT A LIKE WTF???"

you laughed out loud at the comment, considering as how your dear and darling boyfriend had never mentioned his apparent viewing and liking of these edits of you online as of late.

your boyfriend may have learned his lesson about public reposts, but it looks like his attempts at covering up what he hits "like" on needed a bit of work, too.

[adventuringblind]

is oscar the only driver you do autistic!reader for? if not can I request lando x daniel x autistic!reader.

any situation is fine I don't mind 😊

My love, my life, and nerodivergent partners in crime

Daniel Riccairdo x reader x Lando Norris

Genre: angsty fluff (I think)

Summarry: How Daniel managed to keep two nerdiverdent young adults in line... nobody will ever know

Warnings: Lando is ADHD coded, and you can't change my mind (and he's dyslexic anyway), AGE GAP, Max loves to tease

Notes: I am officially only taking requests for poly reader inserts at this time. Also, do Lando and Daniel have a ship name?!?! I need this information for my masterlist, please, and thanks.

Masterlist

Everyone always wondered why Daniel Ricciardo trailed behind Lando Norris and his girlfriend by three steps. People have theorized its because he's thirdwheeling. Some say the pair doesn't pay attention to him.

The real reason, though? It's his way of showing he cares in the paddock.

Max teases him about it all the time and is the only one who gets away with it. The two younger are, however, a chaotic mess. They can not make it from one place to another without something happening. So Daniel trails behind them a few steps to make sure they make it to their destination.

It's certainly wasn't an ideal way to get together. Especially because Daniel is older than both by more than is socially acceptable by most.

Ironically, none of them were together when Daniel started at McLaren. An Australian who smiles a lot, a Brit who is loose lipped, and a shy little psychologist who hates talking until you get her on driver brains and how they work. What could possibly go wrong?

She started work at McLaren the year before Daniel. Something in the strategy department. She watches and listens and somehow can predict what the drivers are going to do, what they need to perform, and how their opponents might respond. Lando says it's a superpower. Daniel says she's autistic and watches how people behave for a living (she agrees with him).

The three of them got along better than anyone wants to admit. The world saw then as awkward and dysfunctional. Which wasn't a lie, but it's also just their combinations of personalities.

Daniel picked up on it first. The stolen glances and blushed cheeks. Then, drunk confessions happen. Neither of the younger two like drinking. Which is ridiculous, in Daniel's opinion. Or maybe it was ridiculous because he's the one who drunkenly confesses to the pair while they attempt to get him back to his room.

Supposedly, Max was there and heard everything. Daniel denies this relentlessly.

Lando picked up on the confession, confronted him about it, and then awkwardly kissed him on his tip toes (he was shorter then).

The biggest hurdle was the female. The one who studies people. The one who can predict what Daniel is going to have for lunch on Friday at two because he likes to eat later.

She's clueless.

Lando tries to tell her. Daniel attempts sober. She doesn't get it.

The two have to put it in the form of a business meeting and tell her until she gets it. That seems to work as they end up going on a date post confession.

If he's being honest, half the time love them is really just making sure they are getting along with the world. Not people, the environments they end up in (which often includes the people).

So Daniel walks three steps behind them. The people tease on socials. They edit him in tiktoks. But he could care less.

He loves his two nerodivergent partners. He loves their little quirks and they way they see the world. So Daniel determines he's okay being behind them. Because he loves them and wants nothing more than to watch out for his partners in crime.

[waddleonmywaywardducks]

Something I would just like to get off my chest...

Literally I just want to talk my shit. This is just SOME of the shit I'm tired of seeing in my community.

I grew up in a extremely god-fearing Christian home. Most of my childhood years where spent in a church or with my nose stuck into a Bible. It was horrible. When I was 10, I was opened to the world of magic and slowly I realized that what I was reading could be true. I began to research as much as I could and now here we are. But anyways, as I began to expand my craft, I start to find myself with people who also practice!

My first experience with the shit talk in my community was from a witch who came from a long line of witches and claimed they were more powerful then me bc of that....I've never seen them practice or even attempt to practice....and their mother is a wiccan....ok yeah sure ☠️ like first off, literally I don't care, I don't care if your mother is a witch, I don't care that "you are the granddaughter of the witches they didn't burn" ☠️☠️ you can miss me with that. Second off, because they claimed to be a more powerful witch they said they could "mentor" me and teach me the "right ways" and when I said no they then told me I would never be powerful and that they would curse me....where's that curse at girlie???? I do not care for power. I do not care for control. I just want to find harmony with myself and the world.

The second experience I had, AND I KNOW EVERYONE. EVERYONE. HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM, was the "I've been practicing for x amount of years so....Im actually better then you" I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I do not give a fuck how long you have been practicing. Here's a real question, why do you, a "experienced" witch, feel the need to invalidate new witches, when your practice is all your own? Are you really practicing if you feel the need to scare and fearmonger newer witches? Why not help them?I remember I was at such and loss starting out because no one would tell me, they would be like "how could you not know that?!?!" Or "I would NEVER make that mistake" it's ok to make mistakes, fuck man 8 years later and I still make mistakes. Also, Witchcraft communities have always been about communicating, when looking for where to began, young witches would TURN TO THEIR ELDERS. Why have we driven away from that? Idk I just feel like if you feel the need to invalidate newer witches, you aren't actually secure in your own practice. So are you really better then me? Or are you just worried I'll become more "powerful" then you?

And I know we've all gone through the "I have the most expensive herbs so my spells are way more powerful" just say you love capitalism ☠️☠️ LMFAOOO the witches I see on tiktok are like the over consumption final boss like holy shit. I literally get everything I need from the forest outside my house, I literally haven't bought anything for my practice in like months because I put my time and energy into what I create for my deities, spells, and rituals. And honestly, Ive had way better results because of it. You don't need all this big fancy stuff, just get started with what you have. Make it your own.

Instead of doing all this, mind your business, stay to YOUR craft, and if someone asks for help you can give them what you can. Literally just be a nice person Jesus fucking Christ. Just be a nice person. The entire reason I made this blog was for witches who needed someone to push them in the right direction. This post was me talking shit, if you feel called out....then consider this a sign to try to be better, there's always a chance to start again. And also, in no way am I bashing witches who come from a long line of witches, that shit is cool as hell, I'm just saying when you use it just to be cool and not practice, bc i hate to break it to you but if you don't practice like at all, not even attempt to start, then you aren't a witch my guy im sorry being born into a witch family doesn't automatically make you a witch, you have to carve that shit out for yourself. But anyways it's 1am I'm tired I honestly have no idea why I wrote this. Ok bye.

[sawyer-is-eepy]

as a punk, its the least fucking punk thing to call someone a poser. what 90% of anti-endos want is for endos to stop calling themselves systems (its a medical term) and to get the fuck out of our spaces. calling yourself a system (short for system of alternate states of dissociation) when you dont have did/osdd is ablist. ablism is NOT punk. listen to actual fucking trauma survivors instead of circlejerking every other ablist around

hi, sorry, i've mostly got it okay but i don't have my glasses right now and can't see very well. trying to still type properly but it's a bit hard, so i'm sorry for any typos ! ^^

i get why anti endos are wanting a space thats exclusively for cdd systems, but terms can change and adapt and evolve(and they are!) the thing is, more and more research is being done on endogenic systems and a lot of said studies are referring to endos AS systems. medical studies and such!

plus, not trying to say you're lying or anything because i can't prove you wrong, but i'm, not even entirely sure system was ever ACTUALLY just exclusively for cdds because it's just that previousloy, there was no research on endos so maybe now that more stuff is coming out about them? but if you do have stuff about the original usage of the term i'd be glad to check it out! i

and about your spaces, again i do understand why youd want a space sepcifically for traumagen/disordered systems. but the thing is, a lot of times those spaces completely exclude a lot of traumagen systems ANYWAYS!! yall exclude proendo traumagen, and exclude traumagenic systems that aren't disordered! and because a lot of those spaces have become "haha funny lets just h\ate on endos and fakeclaim a ton of them!" and also putting "proendos dni" on a lot of your posts you exclude anyone who could benefit from resources and/or potential friendships, as well as fakeclaim "real" systems! you create spaces that are filled with hate and anger so people don't feel safe expressing themselves.

tumblr is usually better about fakeclaiming stuff from what i've seen, but literally everywhere else(ESPECIALLY reddit tiktok and yt) are all incredibly hostile toward endos, and often how that manifests itserlf is fakeclaiming literally any system, ever. INCLUDING traumagen ones.

my MAIN issue with anti endos is how yall want a safe space but your spaces are so filled with hate and you consistently bar yourself from actually ever receiving any criticism. you create echo chambers, basically

safe spaces are no5t places for people to post hate without having to get called out. safe places are not for you to go "there's no science to back endos!" and then ignore any attempts to share science behind endos by saying "youre invading our spaces! you broke the dni!"

youre right, ableism is VERY not punk! but you claim to protect trauma survivors when you ignore the proendo traumagens and the endos WITH trauma!! what about the endos who had to go through trauma and want to speak about their trauma but are silenced because its "sCiEnTiFiCaLlY ImPosSiBlE!111!!11" ? what about the traumagenic systems who just waant a space to be able to communicate with other trauma survivors but they arent listened to because they support something else???

you create hateful spaces, we're gonna call you out on that bullshit.

i'm sorry about the endos who invade other tags but i feel like this time it's at least a little justified.

edit: i can see slightly better now so i fixed some of the typing errors. sorry if i still missed any

[myreygn]

kny modern au couples doing the you are out of my league tiktok trend

this is the only tiktok trend that matters to me because it's disgustingly adorable. if you haven't seen it because maybe you have an actual life unlike me, here's a video. (and here's another one because it's my favorite but doesn’t really work well as an example.) also ig i'm spoilering the ships for this au but you know what i'm fine with that, there'll be a more detailed post on these at some point.

taglist: @kokupuffs @rachi-roo (for taglist purposes) @giggly-squiggily @trans-ace-lee @mystwrites (for modern au purposes)

¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸¸♫·¯·♪¸¸♩·¯·♬¸¸

SANEKANA

you know it takes a WHILE for Kanae to convince Sanemi to do this with her

he's not super comfortable showing his face on social media anyway and doing that trend? with Kanae? so everyone can look at it and go "how tf did this ugly bridge troll pull that gorgeous angel"? thank you but no thank you

Kanae of course is outraged at this; "did you just call yourself UGLY [insert long rant about how pretty Sanemi is on the in- and outside and how he should never speak like this about himself ever again]"

he finally caves in because she's so excited about doing it and she gets him his favorite take out to make up for it

OBAMITSU

Obanai avoids social media like the plague and he's not aware of the trend until Mitsuri starts sending him links, hoping that he'll get the hint (he doesn't)

when she finally brings it up to him he's SO reluctant but he agrees to it on the condition that they don't do it in a public spot

they do a few versions of it in the living room of Mitsuri's family when no one's home and he actually ends up having fun

in the end they don't post anything because Obanai just isn't comfortable with it but Mitsuri has all the drafts saved to her phone and rewatches them every day (her favorite is one where she susprised Obanai by scooping him up and he spasmed so hard that he threw her off balance and they both came crashing down on the couch)

SABIGIYUU

Sabito doesn't even ask Giyuu if he feels up for it, he just barges into the room like "hey we should try something" and doesn't wait for an answer

Giyuu has no idea what's going on, he just gets the instruction to walk backwards and he's so confused when Sabito... crashes into him?? starts making out with him??

the video goes viral and people online start gushing over how adorable Giyuu is which prompts Giyuu to lock himself in his room for three days because he can't fathom that internet strangers are calling him cute

he only comes out when Sabito takes the video down (which he did just for Giyuu and definitely not because he was getting a teensy bit pissed off at random people thirsting after his boyfriend)

UZUIWIVES

an absolute catastrophe of a video

Suma is the one who discovers the trend first and the others are on board with it obviously but turns out the trend was not designed for more than two people at once

all of their attempts end in a massive crash and tangled limb chaos on the floor and Tengen fractures a rib (he can take a lot but having three adult women fall on the same bone has to do something to a man)

they upload the fractured rib draft and it's a giant hit with the baby would you peel an orange for me community

RENKAZA

yes Akaza found the trend and yes Akaza sneakily brought it up to Kyojuro and yes Akaza already had a cute spot to film at in mind which they both had a deep emotional connection to but just for the record he thinks it's stupid

he grumbles about how they turned into a corny couple throughout the whole thing but also he's gonna need a second take just to make sure they get it right

Kyojuro happily goes along with the farce, nodding and agreeing in all the right places to make him feel better

they can't decide on a draft to upload because the one where Kyojuro laughs so beautifully doesn't have Akaza's eyes lighting up so marvelously and vice versa and in the end they just say whatever and post both because they've been filming all afternoon and they really need a snack

MUIGEN

the video is cute and all but what really resonates with the audience are the outtakes

take 1: Genya walks backwards from the camera and bumps into empty air. Muichiro forgot his cue.

take 4: Genya starts the video. Muichiro can be seen walking past the camera, so determined that the viewer might actually be tricked into assuming he has somewhere to be.

take 28: Muichiro stands in front of the camera, trying to figure out whether it's already filming. Genya can be seen laughing hysterically in the background and it's unclear whether his outbreak stems from amusement or desperation.

TANOSUKE

NEZUSEN

not much to say, except that Inosuke gravely misunderstands the whole idea behind the trend

Tanjiro barely manages to take a step away from the camera before he gets tackled to the ground from the side

he gets a few bruises, but Inosuke looks so happy about the "surprise hug" that he can't even be mad

also the video shows the aftermath of the tackle™ with Inosuke happily blabbering to him and if that's not Tanjiro's favorite thing in the world then what is honestly

SUSADAKI

honestly these two get together so long after the current point in the timeline and i highly doubt tiktok will be around for that long but let's pretend it is

Nezuko loves the trend and Senjuro asks suggests to do it like the attentive boyfriend he is

he puts so much thought into it too, he literally crafts a whole date night around ending up in that one spot where they had their first date just so he can smoothly pull out his phone like "hey you wanna do that you're out of my league thing"

after the camera has stopped filming he proposes and she says yes and they live happily ever after bye i love them

Susamaru is actually the one who suggests it and it takes a little while for Daki to agree

(she loves her girlfriend but people can't know she has an image to lose)

Susamaru doesn't give a shit about Daki's mean girl image and literally sweeps her off of her feet when she comes rushing into the frame

Daki's so flustered by how blatantly her adoration shows on her face but she insists on posting the video anyway because HELL YEAH THAT'S HER GIRLFRIEND AND EVERYBODY NEEDS TO KNOW THEY'RE AWESOME TOGETHER

[andhaveapleasanttomorrow]

if you could scientifically engineer a new boy band what do you think theyd be like. what traits would they have

you've successfully baited me into writing over a thousand words on a topic I don't know very much about

as far as scientific engineering goes I don't need much aside from a willingness to let me puppet them around and make them dance. it's better if they're not engineered, I think, for the concept I've been tossing around in my head. I've been thinking about a few different things in tandem, one of them being some recent attempts to create a "western kpop[1] group," which haven't really been crazy successful, and wondering what it would take for something like that to work. for one thing, the only western kpop groups I know of have been girl groups, and at the risk of overgeneralizing I don't think the idea would work as well for a boy group, mainly because there are less male kpop fans and therefore less guys who would be eager to undergo that kind of training/lifestyle or have dreams of becoming that kind of "idol." I've also seen people say that a north american "mindset" isn't conducive to the idol lifestyle as it exists in korea because of cultural differences but I don't know how much I'd agree with that. I do think that rather than trying to get them to be precision-built silicon dolls like modern kpop idols it would make more sense to counter that and have them be more "real" and perhaps a little "rebellious," but like, not in any actually potentially subversive or offensive way. so I guess it would help if they had that feeling.[2] I think that would also make them more appealing to the general public, which is where kpop falls short. the language barrier doesn't help.[3]

another thing I've been thinking about is how important the accessibility (or perceived accessibility) of a star's personal life is now, in american pop. this is a big part of why taylor swift is so huge and I think another snagging point for kpop. people feel that it is very important that stars have "authenticity" and things like this, and like to do things like compare their lyrics to things that happened to the star, and so on. so for my perfect boy band there would have to be a sense that they were heavily involved in the creation of their songs somehow. (to be fair, I don't think this is unheard of in kpop.)[4] a third thing I've been thinking about is this idea of the "fictional real boy band" (the monkees, the jonas brothers, big time rush.[7]) I've been thinking about it because I don't really understand it. the first two at least were genuine stars, and big time rush wasn't like, globally renowned, but, you know, they did okay. where I get stuck is in understanding why people liked them, it doesn't seem like it should work; the contract between the pop star and the audience already has a fiction/reality dissonance that both parties just sort of have to accept, but starring in a television show with fictionalized versions of yourselves seems to be turning that upside down and violating it somehow. but people liked them.[8] the jonas brothers managed to make something of a real comeback, at least for a little bit, although I'm sure that was 90% fueled by nostalgia.[9]

anyway the fact that there's a precedent makes it odd to me that no one has attempted to modernize it with social media. I mean, obviously pop stars use social media, kpop idols do livestreams and tiktoks and things like that, there is a connection to the fans in that way, one direction even had their video diaries when they were teens, I'm more thinking of like an "influencer house" type of situation. this is where I think it becomes a bit unethical. I think as it is there's another little contract, where the audience understands that celebrities make certain kinds of posts online as promotional work and most of what they're saying isn't actually "coming from the heart," and celebrities know the audience knows. there's probably two ways to curveball this; lean way into it and turn it into an "I-know-you-know-I-know" thing, or obfuscate it entirely and pretend it doesn't exist.[10] the latter is really hard to accomplish and I'd really like to see it done successfully. the drive to call people nepo babies or industry plants is really strong these days, but so is the drive to feel like you know a celebrity on a personal level, so there's a bit of a tightrope situation here. basically my idea is to put the monkees on tiktok. but I don't want the audience to know they're watching the monkees, I want them to think it's real. also yaoibaiting is mandatory (also not unusual in kpop). imagine you follow a group of roommates online because they make funny posts about each other, but they're also incredibly famous, and they make music together, the lyrics of which can easily be interpreted to be about each other, like fleetwood mac. I want to create parasocial bonds that could topple empires. not for money I just want to see it happen

there are a lot of gaps in my knowledge because I don't know anything about the music industry and I'm also not entirely sure why kpop (or anything) "works," in a societal sense, or why exactly american pop has been so heavy with soloists for so many years when that wasn't the case before. I also don't even really listen to pop music, I mostly read what other people say about it because I find the social aspect of it more interesting. I like thinking about it so I'm going to continue thinking about it

[1] here used to refer to the specific management/training/production model of the idol industry in korea rather than a catchall for "korean pop" [2] I don't know how exactly that would be executed, I'm bad at predicting what people will clock as "cool" or "phony" because I have my own axis of how I perceive that kind of thing. [3] I do have a theory that part of the reason western kpop hasn't been panning out so well is that kpop fans are largely koreaboos and even if the idols are managed by korean companies they won't go as hard for them if they're not korean because they lose that sheen of the "culture," and because they don't get to call them unnie. if you don't create a group that's mainly geared towards kpop fans (because, I think, the american general public doesn't have an appetite for that kind of group anymore), you don't have that problem [4] I've also been thinking about 5 seconds of summer, and how they were, I think, the last really big actual band boy band, who like played their instruments and shit. don't talk to me about waterparks and twenty one pilots and fall out boy [5] and whatnot because that's not what I'm talking about and besides waterparks is overrated. I've never listened to their music but I can tell they're overrated. my point is my boys wouldn't need to play instruments, and anyway if they did then how could they do their little dance moves?[6] [5] they're all too old to be boy bands. [6] granted… I do think the general public would be more responsive to a real band-type-band than a pop group right now, but I don't have any real reasoning behind this [7] hannah montana's not a boy band but I suppose she also did this, the difference being that the actual star is "miley cyrus," not "hannah montana." [8] obviously there's something to be said that the target audience for most of these were like, 8 year olds, who don't have a very good grasp on the reality/fiction thing anyway, which is probably why I can't understand it [9] nostalgia is, of course, the only thing running the cultural engine these days, which is why I'm even thinking about this in the first place- it's weird to me that with the "y2k" thing being very popular there are no really big mainstream american pop groups like there were then [10] you could also just violate it and not filter the pop star at all, but that's less of a curveball and more of a foundational destruction, and would fall apart very quickly

[bronzeeditsx]

Here’s Maya fanfic part 2 sorry I’ve not posted it in ages i’ve just been busy with uni life, I made a longer part to make up for it 🫶

A few weeks have passed since Maya drove you back to your apartment and since then it’s just been training and pre-season.

However this was it, Maya’s official debut against Reading.

You sat in the changing room positioned across from Maya and as the music played and there was some slight chatter you looked over to her.

She had her head down and her leg was bouncing up and down, but it was difficult for most to tell if it was due to the music or nerves.

“Hey, Maya”, You said, but you got no response, maybe she didn’t hear because of the music.

“Maya”, you repeated, a little louder.

“Yeah?”, she replied, quickly shooting her head up.

“Good luck for today, i’m sure you’ll do amazing”, You said with a smile.

“Thank you”, she replied, with a small smile back. You could tell that meant a lot to her.

Everyone then stood up making their way to the tunnel. You got up and Maya followed behind you.

The game kicked off and United took control of the game passing around the ball with ease. A shot was deflected meaning United had a corner.

Katie Zelem signaled then crossed the ball into the box, everyone ran towards the ball Maya got her head on it.

GOAL Maya Le Tissier scores on her debut.

Leigh sports Village erupts as the players swarm around Maya praising her and bringing everyone into a huddle.

When the players withdraw and start walking back to their positions, you bring Maya into a hug moving your hands across her back.

“Well done”, you say to her and walk back into your rw role, so happy for her.

Not soon after Leah Galton puts the ball past the keeper but is taken out at the attempt to save it. Penalty to man united.

GOAL, Katie Zelem cooly slots the ball into the top corner making it 2-0.

Another ball goes out of play, another corner.

The ball is whipped into the box and yet again Maya gets her head on it.

GOAL Maya le tissier now has a brace on her dream debut, it can’t get much better than this.

Maya turns and runs straight into your arms as you were the closest to her, you hold her up as the team crowded around her, her body now pressing firmly onto yours. You let her down and see a big smile on her face, no nerves in sight.

The game ends 4-0 as Russo also scores at the end of the first half.

The players head to the tunnel after signing autographs for fans and everyone is smiling and chatting proud of today's work.

The team congratulates Maya once again in the changing room and she can’t stop smiling.

- The next day -

Today was a recovery day for the team after the win yesterday.

Millie invited a few players to go out for lunch including Hannah, Martha, Vilde, Mary, Maya and you.

We ended up at a cafe in Manchester and ate some sandwiches and drank some coffee.

You were sitting opposite Maya and she seemed a little quiet but that’s expected when she had only recently joined.

“Are you alright?”, You asked Maya as the others were talking about some tiktok post.

“Yes, just tired”, She replied with a small smile.

“I’m not surprised, you played so well yesterday”. You said.

“Thank you”, She replied smiling then looked down at her watch.

“Oh my God it’s already 2pm, i need to walk Mocha”, Maya exclaimed.

“That’s okay, we were probably about to go now anyway”, Millie replied.

“Okay I should probably start walking then”, Maya said getting up.

“You walked here?”, I asked.

“Yes, my Dad needed my car as his broke down a few days ago”. Maya replied.

“I’ll give you a lift then”, You offered.

“No it’s okay i’ll just-“.

“It’s fine, I don't have anything on for today”.

“Are you sure?”, Maya asked.

“Yes”, You replied getting up.

“Ok, thanks ”, Maya said with a smile and you followed behind her to your car.

“You really didn’t have to do this”, Maya said, glancing over to you.

“It’s okay, I wanted to”, You replied. Upon reflection you were annoyed at how forward you sounded.

“Well I really appreciate it”. Maya said.

“I’m only doing this for Mocha”, you grinned.

“Wowww, I see how it is”, Maya said, chuckling and tilting her head back.

You smiled at her and then turned your head to face the road.

“Do you have a dog?”, Maya asked.

“No, but I've always wanted one," You replied.

“Would you get one in the future?”, Maya asked.

“Yes but my ex-girlfriend didn’t like dogs, so that didn’t go down too well”, You said.

“I see”, Maya said with a small grin.

“Is it this house on the left?”, You asked.

“Yes, yes it is”, Maya replied.

You pulled into the driveway and let her get out of the car.

She walked towards her door but then looked back at you.

“Would you like to walk Mocha with me?”, Maya asked, smiling.

“Are you sure?”, You replied.

“Of course, you drove me here so you’re more than welcome to stay if you want”.

“Okay, thank you”, You said getting out of the car and walking up to Maya at her door.

She unlocked the door and you walked in to a small but very cozy house.

“It’s so nice in here”, you stated.

“It’s still new so I haven’t finished decorating yet”, She replied, placing her keys in a tray.

She opens the door into the living room and there is Mocha already at the door and wagging her tail.

“Hiii baby”, Maya says in her dog voice sitting on the couch next to Mocha.

“ Mocha this is y/n, she very kindly drove me home today”, Maya said smiling and looking into your eyes.

You sat next to Maya on the couch and Mocha came up to you and wagged her tail wanting you to stroke her.

“I like you”.

“Sorry, what did you say?”, You asked, thinking you’re mishearing things whilst you were playing with Mocha.

“I said, I think she likes you”, Maya replied smiling at you.

“oh y-yeah i can tell”, you said your heart slightly racing from what you thought you heard.

“Good girl”, Maya said, stroking Mocha’s head.

You gulped trying to ignore Maya’s comment.

“Should we go on a walkies?”, Maya said, getting up and getting her lead.

Mocha’s tail wagged even faster as she trotted along following Maya.

“Are you ready to go?”, Maya asked.

“Of course”, You replied smiling and walked to the door.

You walked to a park not far from Maya’s house and it was big with lots of flowers and tall tree’s around the area.

Maya let Mocha off lead so now it was just the two of you walking together.

“How are you finding Manchester?”, You asked her.

“It’s nice, but it rains a lot”.

“I know”, You chuckled, as you have lived here all your life.

“At the moment it’s just me and Mocha living in our house, I feel like a single mum”, Maya said.

“I can always come around and look after Mocha if you need me to”, You replied, giving her a reassuring smile.

“Thank you”.

“You say that a lot”, You said.

“Well you’re being so nice”. Maya said smiling.

You looked into her eyes as she looked back in return.

All of a sudden you feel rain drip down your face.

“Oh great”, You said wiping your head whilst looking up to the sky.

By this time you were already halfway around the park.

“Hopefully it won’t be too bad”, Maya exclaimed.

Not soon later it was torrential.

“Come on mocha”, Maya called out as you were lightly jogging back to Maya’s house.

She put Mocha on lead and the rain got even worse, to the point we could barely see.

“It’s not been this bad in so long”, You said, slightly chuckling as the jog turned into a run to Maya’s house.

By this point all your clothes were drenched as no one brought a coat or an umbrella and it was freezing cold.

As soon as you entered the house all you wanted to do was to take all your clothes off.

Maya unclipped Mocha’s lead to let her dry off as we watched her shake and spread water everywhere.

Maya then tried to take her drenched hoodie off but her shirt got stuck to it. This meant she was only left in her sports bra.

“Oh sorry, sorry”, Maya said quickly, walking to put her wet clothes to the side.

You panicked and realised you had been staring at her for longer than expected.

You noticed how toned her abs were and how defined her arms were. You couldn’t help but feel attracted to her.

“I’ll go and get some dry clothes for us”, Maya said brushing past you to get to the stairs.

As soon as she exited the room you felt so stupid, I bet she doesn’t even like me back, you thought to yourself.

In what felt like seconds Maya was already changed and had brought some dry clothes down for you. Her wet hair was now down by her shoulders instead of the pony tail making her hair curly.

You couldn’t help but smile saying “Thank you”, as you made your way up the stairs.

“My rooms on the left”, You hear her shout from the kitchen.

You turn to the left and open the door that’s in front of you. Her room was big compared to your lousy apartment and it was all tidy and organised. You noticed she had a queen sized bed but there were only picture frames and an alarm clock on one side, not seeming like anyone else had slept on the other side recently.

You started getting changed into Maya’s clothes and you felt so comfy and warm in them noticing they smell just like her.

You bundled your wet clothes together and started walking back downstairs.

You looked for Maya in the kitchen but she wasn’t there. You turned to the living room and noticed she was sitting on the couch with Mocha drinking some tea.

“You can leave your clothes wherever, come and sit down”, she said smiling at you.

You placed your clothes in the kitchen where Maya had left hers and walked to the couch.

“I made you some tea, i’m not sure how you like it so i’m sorry if I messed up, I can make another one if you want”. Maya said quickly.

“It’s perfect”, You replied, feeling the warmth of the mug on your cold hands whilst taking a sip.

“That’s good”, Maya said smiling.

You nodded in response.

“You can stay for as long as you want or until the rain dies down a bit”, Maya said slightly moving towards you.

“That would be great, thanks”.

“You don’t have to thank me”, Maya said.

“Of course I do”, You said moving towards her.

By now your arms were almost touching.

“I feel a lot warmer now”, you said looking at Maya.

Maya turned her head to look at you and looked into your eyes you thought she was about to say something but then her eyes trailed to your lips for a split second but then back up to eyes.

“Y-yeah same”, Maya replied, sipping her tea.

You realised you had already finished your tea so you placed it on the coaster in front of you.

You turned to Maya who was rubbing her eyes.

“You okay?”, you asked her.

“Yes, i’m just tired”, Maya replied, placing her empty mug down in front of her.

“Do you want me to go, so you can rest?”, You asked.

“No it’s okay, you can stay”, Maya said sitting back, her hand then brushing yours.

You then yawned as you felt tired after running back here today.

“Come here”, Maya said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

You etched closer to her and leaned against her chest, you instantly felt safe.

All of a sudden you woke up and realised you were now lying on Maya’s lap, you looked up to her and saw that she was asleep however she must have been uncomfortable.

You slowly lift your head up and look across the room to the clock, it is now already 6pm.

A few minutes later you hear a slight movement and realise Maya started to open her eyes.

She looked confused at first but then a small smile came across her face when she saw you.

“How long were we asleep for?”, she asked.

“3 hours”, you chuckled.

“Oh wow, are you hungry?”, We should probably order something to eat”, She said looking at the clock.

“Yes that would be nice”, You replied.

You ended up ordering Chinese as no one could be bothered to cook and sat opposite her at the small table as Mocha was sitting below you.

As soon as you looked outside the window you realised it had stopped raining however the sky was getting dark.

I think Maya noticed this as when she was clearing up the rubbish she had a slightly sad tone on her face, thinking you were going to leave soon.

“I should probably head home soon before it gets too dark”, You said as you felt bad as Maya had been so nice to you and let you stay for awhile, you didn’t want to take up any more of her time.

“Ok that’s fine”, Maya said leaning against the counter.

You got all your things together and headed towards the door.

“Thank you for everything”, you said.

“It’s okay, get home safe”, Maya said leaning against the door.

You turned to face her one more time and just smiled looking into her eyes.

She slowly walked back up towards you to the point you were inches apart.

“I really enjoyed today”, Maya said.

“Same”, You replied, your breath slightly shaky.

Maya then slowly brought you into a kiss, her lips were soft. One of her hands were placed on your cheek as another brushed down your back.

After a few seconds she pulled away, looking into your eyes for your reaction.

“Oh i’m sorry, i’m sorry”, Maya said walking back towards her house.

“Hey, it’s okay”, You said reaching out for her arm, you were just shocked by what just happened.

She turned back towards you.

You leant in and kissed her.

The kiss lasted a few seconds longer and was more passionate.

As soon as you pulled away you regretted it, you wanted to stay with her for as long as possible but you had training the next day so you wanted to get home and get ready for that.

You watched her face as it lit up with a big smile and her cheeks were slightly blushing.

“See you tomorrow”, She winked.

“I assume I can keep your clothes”, You joked.

“Of course, keep them for as long as you want, I don't mind," Maya replied.

“Okay, see you tomorrow”, You smiled walking towards your car.

She watched by the door as you drove off her drive and down the road giving you a wave as you left her sight.

You couldn’t believe what just happened.

[demvalhaken]

I really want potato chips

Idk why but Dem has a gap tooth… It’s literally only because I also have one… damn

BTW, my Lilith post flopped so HORRIBLY. Like, I know the title was kinda weird and silly, but :(

Wouldn’t it be silly if I just had an entire folder on my Procreate dedicated to fuckin’ Dem Valhaken because she’s just a slay queen?

Ughhhhh… I wish my Lilith post did better tbh… but at least you dudes beat Tiktok by one like!

Rambles: I’m genuinely craving like a nice awesome sandwich, especially from Firehouse Subs, like dude. THOSE SANDWICHES ARE… Idk good I guess…? Have you ever craved potato chips? Weird… I really want chips… like I’d die for them right now… Hope this doesn’t mean anything!!! *nervous laughter*

Btw, how tf do people have the heart to draw NSFW of their own sonas? It’s literally you, kinda, sorta, little, tiny bit! I would never draw anything like that of Dem, genuinely because I love her too much.

Little rant (Idk vent or something): I beat myself up about coming out about Br00m3. Maybe I’m not really the victim but more of the opposite. I’ve basically lost everything there is to have. I have no relationships anymore other than my online friend Purpsie. I feel like a jackass and a creep. I stalk my friend’s pages, looking at every single thing they post… I wish I could stop but I can’t… I miss my old life, I miss the old me, I miss everything. I have nothing left, I am empty husk that was once Dem herself. I live on my own dreams and hopes, that are too good to be true but I want to believe that one day people will love me. I am clingy, insecure, harsh, and come off as a dick. I should’ve kept my mouth shut about Br00m3, then I’d have a chance for a reconnection. I put so much passion into my art and then I go back to feeling horrible and tired. I’m trying, guys, I’m trying. Even though it’s a shitty attempt, I’ll keep posting and drawing for you. I genuinely love what I do and I’m always proud of my creations, you guys are also a part of what keeps me posting :) Sorry for getting sappy, had to get it off my chest, but I love my followers

Okay, anyways, I’m hungry, stay a menace to society and I’m getting sucked back into the void!

[pajarinwrites]

if we're both bored...

can't believe that the first thing i write and post here is for TBZ, who are, arguably, my newest group. I was so sure it was going to be SVT but, oh well.

I was looking for Sangyeon fan fictions last night to fall asleep and I barely found any I liked and then I was scrolling tiktok this morning and found this video. The rest is history. (i also didn't mean for it to be over 1000 words? the things this man does to me)

➳ "why don't we kiss, 'cuz we're bored" with Sangyeon

➳ wc: 1.1k

➳ fluff, with like, a tiny tiny bit of spicy at the end, nothing too bad. some very short making out and scratchy scratchy on sangyeon's broad back that makes me go feral. this was entirely self-indulgent in case that wasn't already clear

“Aw, shit!” You curse as your screen turns black in front of your eyes. Right in the middle of a particularly good tiktok, too. You manage to engage yourself in the fascinating colour (white) of the ceiling for all of ten seconds before you decide to do something about your predicament.

“Babeeee,” you whine, dropping your arms down by your sides. You hear a low chuckle next to your ear. Your boyfriend is lying next to you on his bed, one arm under your head as he also scrolls mindlessly through social media.

“What do you want?” He asks in a low rasp, eyes still trained on his phone. “My phone is empty!” You say into the silence, watching it stretch for a few seconds before Sangyeon rasps another low reply: “So charge it.”

“How can you be so heartless!” You pant in mock offence, “Then I’d have to get up.” The silence lasts until you feel the need to clarify again, “Do it for me, pleaseee.”

The only reply you earn is another chuckle. “But then I would have to get up, babe.”

“Yeah but you love me so much, you’d gladly do it!”

This finally makes him lock his phone and look over at you. His unstyled hair is falling into his eyes in the most endearing way and the way he’s smiling at you so softly has your stomach doing somersaults.

“Where’s your charger?”

“In my bag,” you grumble.

“The bag you dropped by the entrance way when you came over?” He inquires, eyes narrowing. You nod in shame and bat your eyelashes in a not-entirely-serious attempt at a plea.

“Nah, I’m too lazy.” Under your shocked expression and an offended gasp, Sangyeon turns back to his phone and resumes his video.

You spend all of three second staring at him incredulously before you snatch it out of his hand unto the floor, giving it a soft nudge just strong enough to slide it out of reach.

“Hey!” Your boyfriend yells the second your hands wrap around his screen, but you’re too fast for him to snatch the offending device back from you before it’s halfway across the room.

He looks at you, more in offence than in disbelief. “Brat,” he mumbles and you decide to ignore the memories that word summons inside your head.

“If you’re getting up anyway, you might as well bring me my charger.” You say, the satisfied little smile on your face making your boyfriend roll his eyes.

“Actually,” he says, surprising you once again, “I’m good.” He flops back down next to you, joining you in your thrilling observation of the ceiling (still white). Again it turns out to be you, who caves first.

“Baby?”

“Hmm?” Sangyeon replies in that same low rasp that he’s been speaking in for the past twenty minutes. You are starting to be seriously affected by it.

“Tell me something.” You still say, despite better judgement.

“What do you want me to tell you?”

“I don’t know, anything.”

“I already told you everything earlier during lunch.”

“I’m sure there’s more stories to share.”

He hums a soft ‘no’, making sure you’re slowly starting to feel like you’re talking to the famed ceiling (white, but you spotted a slightly off-colour splotch within the last ten minutes).

“Please! I’m so bored!” You whine again. Sangyeon, still staring at the ceiling is quiet for a beat before asking, “Do you want to watch a movie?”

You ponder it over, “No… We could take a walk in the park?”

“Not in the mood for putting on my disguise today. How about reading?”

“Hmm, no. Not feeling like it. Video games?”

“Not in the mood.”

“Also, all of that would include getting up.” You finally observe, groaning in defeat. You’re about ready to resign yourself to the ceiling when Sangyeon speaks up again.

“You wouldn’t have to be bored, if you hadn’t gotten rid of our only source of entertainment.” He grumbles. You smirk, seeing this as what it is: an opening to get what you want.

“Oh I’m sure we can find some other way of entertaining ourselves.” He looks at you from the corner of his eye inquisitively. You look back, wiggling your eyebrows in a way that makes him laugh.

“I mean, if we’re both bored…”

“… we could kiss?” He finishes your thought, already propping himself up on the arm that rests under you and leaning over.

He cages you in with the other hand, smirking down at you. “I don’t know if you deserve it, though…” he trails off. You roll your eyes. After thirty minutes of speaking to you in his best bedroom voice is not the time for him to start teasing.

“We don’t have to if you don’t want. I was already super engrossed in that one random grey spot on your ceiling, anyway.” You bluff, as if you aren’t dying to grab his shirt and forcefully pull him down for a kiss.

You really should get an Oscar for how convincingly you try to get a glance at the ceiling behind his head when all you can think about is how soft your boyfriend’s lips look. Because Sangyeon’s smug expression changes in a blink, his hand coming to rest on your cheek softly, and he’s moving in close enough to rest his forehead against yours, effectively blocking out any view that isn’t him.

“No,” he says. “I promise kissing me will be a much more fun pastime.” The smirk on his face nearly has you giving in.

But, just for your own amusement, you keep the farce up for a few more second and are rewarded with a whiny ‘babyyy’ by your boyfriend.

“What’s up?” You grin, convinced that at the very latest he’s wise to your antics now.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispers, already nothing but an inch away from your face. You can feel the question on your own lips, and looking up into Sangyeon’s eyes, trained so intently on you finally has you break. Your hands shoot up, grabbing his shirt and pulling him flush against you.

“Please,” you breathe as you sneak your arms around his torso and under his top, softly digging your nails into his shoulders, knowing it’ll drive him wild.

He groans, whether from your tone or your ministrations, you don’t know. But all that matters anyway is the way his lips meet yours and start moving in unison, him nipping at your bottom lip until you grant him access.

His free arm maps the side of your body, caressing your waist and hips, grabbing at you until the both of you have to pull away for air after what feels like only seconds.

“Definitely better than staring at your ceiling all afternoon,” you grin, making your boyfriend laugh.

“Better than any other pastime.”

“Still, sorry for sliding for phone across the room.”

Sangyeon huffs an incredulous sigh. “You could’ve gladly yeeted it across the room full force if this was the outcome.” He mutters before crashing his lips onto yours again.

[im-1hater]

Me after being gone for months: hey…how y’all doing….

Anyways I’m finally out of school so now I have the time and energy to feel like posting :3

And Ig the best way is threw 3 years difference in my art !

This is the original photo (very crappy Ik)

My first attempt…. It’s something. I think this was one of the few I didn’t trace ( when I was first starting out and didn’t post anything ofc) so I think this might’ve been my first time free handing it with just the reference photo. I do remember being proud of how I did the water effect after watching a TikTok teaching me how to do it with on of the brushes 😭. This was on my first tablet so I don’t remember the exact time but it was about 3-4 hours on a random day in May in 2021 4/10 I remember showing this to my mom being very proud.

Oh boy…I can’t tell if this one or the one before is better. Well for one her head is HUGE like bigger than her ass big 😭🙏🏽. Speaking of her ass, I do not know why it looks like her buttcheek is dislocated? Like I think I tried make it look like her swim suit was tight on her body but it looks like her bottoms are 3 sizes too small. her hand and water got way worse too.. But I will say I definitely have a lot more shading and added more detail to the hair. The shading is decent albeit a bit boring but good enough. I also added color to the line art which is a nice touch. Could use some lighting besides the one coming from the sky. Also on my first tablet so I think this one was about 6 hours on a random the in May in 2022. 3/10 showed this to both my mom AND older brother 💀

Erm- I think I skipped a year or two? Either I got the years wrong or smth so I’ll need to get my hands on my old tablet lol. First, the water. I actually drew it instead of using the brushes in procreate which was definitely a better choice and payed off in the long run. And the sky is actually not just one solid bright blue that burns ur eye holes! And the clouds actually look like clouds and just not like cotton balls the same size. And it looks like I also figured out the different modes and effects I can use on the sky and water. I’m actually really proud of the background cause I literally never do a background. Also Momo brought the right size swimsuit this time! I drew the whole body instead of drawing the body as well as the clothes at the same time. I stylized my shading a lot more with the textured brushes I used. Also those knots she uses to keep her swimsuit look 100 percent better. And i used some line weight to make it way less boring than before. I put her head in a way more interesting angle. I also like how I went to one eyelash to many eyelashes to 0 of them💀. Also that hand! So much better and much more detail. Hands have become one of my favorite things to draw tehee. I fell like this is all over the place but I added some reflective lights from the water which was definitely a good choice and something missing in my previous works. I also gave her a more happy/ playful expression rather than that confused one I kept giving her. Like she doesn’t know how she freaking got there. Now one think I improved the most was….THAT HAIR! I decided “hmm, how about i actually try and put effort to the hair” and then it turned out pretty good at least I think. I added some lighting but not too much cause there is already so much. This took about 11 hours which is pretty impressive since I did this in two separate sittings. I showed this to my sister and she asked why she was a mustache cause of that line I drew coming from her nose and I can’t unsee it now 😭 11/10

[diarrheaworldstarhiphop]

Yes public spaces are a problem and why we have pride pedo parades and summer of george riots in the first place. The problem is we wont get real privatization where I cant physically remove all the scum of the earth from my own neighborhood without the police and progressive courts running cover for them and encouraging anarcho tyranny to continue. Also does vulgar media include all the cultural marxism thats brainwashing minors into chopping off their wieners and breasts and become lifetime big pharma addicts because tiktok said so

I keep being told to return and post on tumblr again but time and time again i find tired, boring shit like this in my inbox - however, partly because i entertain it. I wonder if this is just the post-modern, angry audience I cultivated from maintaining a boring reactionary umbrage outlet here in 2011-2016. "real privatization" "cultural marxism" "anarcho tyranny" what do these things even mean outside the context of partisan meme warfare less retarded reactionaries injected into an abortive discourse over a decade ago, still phoned in by aging ancap anons such as yourself.

Do any of you even read books or take in art? Let alone, make anything? or do you react to the same petty culture war shit and play videogames. Do you ever grow and evolve? I don't mean like, become a commie faggot or what5ever, but like even intellectually explore what goes into some of these insipid buzzphrases like "anarcho tyranny" out of some curiosity to even try and better understand and critique these things in a way that doesnt mystify what they are.

With twitter dying at the hands of a megalomaniac intent on making that platform into something like a crypto exchange/everything depot idk what to do with my time. Is anything intellectually stimulating ever happening on here. Like I can't be bothered with arguing shit like your anon ask anymore because its the purview of 20-somethings. I exhausted the limit of achieving understanding by bashing skulls with other illiterates several years ago. Where is the jouissance in that?

Anyway

Recently started reading some of the novels of Albert Camus. The stranger is wild because its a pieds-noir attempt to write in an "american style" so its like, abrupt, to-the-point sentence structure. I find myself inspired by this literary gimmick or at least endeared to the manner one outside america attempts to reproduce an american perspective. This is what I was thinking of moments before idly opening this inbox and sighing at your ask

[ardathksheyna]

Do It For You

I haven't been posting my art as much. The reason? I'm tired of attempting to coerce whatever algorithm each site is using to reach my current followers or even new followers—and that includes Tumblr. I was doing pretty good on Instagram... until they changed their algos to favor big influencers more, which happened sometime in August.

Actually, Tumblr seems to be the worst offender compared to other sites. Or I'm probably getting pissy because of the tabs "For You", "Your tags", and "Following"—all three show me the same shit I saw a few days ago. And don't even get me started on Tumblr Live. If I wanted Only Fans, I'd go to Only Fans. But I digress...

Since then, I've slowed down on posting artwork of any sort on all platforms that I'm part of. Yesterday was probably the first piece I've posted in a while, and that was basically done on a whim.

Anyway, what it boils down to is I am (and a lot of other people) are tired of sacrificing mental health for likes because in order to keep the engagement, you have to constantly churn out piece after piece. Unfortunately, the algorithms seem to favor quantity over quality—you can bust your ass on a piece, but someone else churning out prompts (yes, I'm referring to AI art) can get more engagement because that's what the algos favor: speed.

AI art is problematic by itself—for many reasons, the least of which is how the AI algo is trained. However, that is a complicated mess and another thoughtful post for another time.

On the flip-side, algorithms also favor videos over static content—Insta's in particular (basically favoring the sloppy seconds of TikTok over genuine content). On that subject, I like YouTube's implementation (Shorts) better than Instagram's anyway.

All that being said, the current climate of the internet is hostile to content creators. Twenty years ago, you didn't have this uphill battle of trying to train an algorithm just to get views. Really, all you had to do optimize for search engines and you were pretty much set.

Now, it's a balance between your mental health and trying to retain the level of engagement that you do have, and then become frustrated when you're doing everything right and still get fucked because some bean-counter decided that they want more profits.

It's almost too easy to get discouraged and think that what you're doing doesn't matter and all you're really doing is shouting into the void. When that happens, you have to ask yourself these questions:

Who are you doing this for? (0 for someone else, 10 for yourself)

Do you like making art? (0 for no, 10 for yes)

Do you want the attention (rate 0 to 10)

Are you only doing this for likes (rate 0 to 10)

Yeah, I made that up on the spot. Whatever score for each question you come up with will tell you where your priorities are. If you're doing this for anything other than enjoyment or for yourself, well... that leads me to my next part:

You see, I learned a long time ago that when you're doing something mental/time-intensive for reasons other than pure enjoyment, it is very easy to get burned out quickly. I know this because once upon a time, I used to enjoy writing code. After graduation, I spent my free time trying to improve my skills—not for myself or because I enjoyed it, but because I thought it was the only way for me to retain a job in my field.

Well, I think we know how that ended—badly.

Because of my past experiences, I made a decision a while ago that what I'm doing, I'm doing for me (and maybe my boyfriend) but not for anyone else. The stories I write, the artwork I create. I'm not doing it for likes, I'm doing it for me, because I like what I do. Because I like the creative process and seeing how far can I push my skills.

So keep that in mind if you're struggling with mental-health and trying to beat bullshit algorithms. It's not worth the stress, and that stress just steals energy from your creativity.

You're doing what you love for you and maybe a few others—not for likes, attentions, engagement or whatever fake internet points exist nowadays.

Remember: do it for you!

[stromer]

how do you want the draft to go??

overwhelming response (two people in total) to my previous post :p so here are my dope takes that i wish the NHL would take seriously regarding the 2023 draft:

i do not take actual draft order into consideration for like any of these... because ch*cago ruined my life and draft order attempted to ruin idgaf war hero jeichel's life SO!!

bedard to the ducks

i think it's pretty obvious this was the spot i wanted bedsy to land. the whole OC boy experience was something i was rooting so hard for. he needed to discover the healing powers of a double double animal style clowning on zegras. like i've said before, his horror filled eyes would only get worse with one trip on the I5.. and i think it would've made him an even better hockey player somehow 🧪

he REALLY needed to be a canuck. common fact. but those freaks fucked around and found out horrifically. at least they played meaningful hockey when it was supposed to be MEANINGLESS. thank you very much to those orcas. you just lost connor bedard cuz anti-tank kuzmenko had bananas to eat. and quinn. that freak

2. leo carlsson to the sharks

in a perfect world, leo carlsson will never know the saw trap under construction that is Ohio. and the fact that he even knows where it is on the map is already too much for me to bear. if my lovely sharks had actually committed to a really good tank... i would’ve bought a jersey. i will use the power of my delusion to ensure this DOES happen actually. that's a guarantee cuz don't i deserve to be happy?? give me another swede MIKE!!! you keep taking ekky away from me, u capital L Loser so give me another one

in another universe i think leo to philly would be fucking bonkers level big brain 🧠 i only say this cuz i think he needs to hangout with joel farabee IMMEDIATELY. i found leo's tiktok and he's on there being so fucking silly goofy lipsyncing to GUNNA??? hooping to Lil baby??? even hit the griddy?? new era of orange and maybe leo should be there

3. adam fantilli to the HABS

this choice was mainly inspired by this comment adam left on cole's instagram and it got me THINKING. known jhughes fan boy adam fantilli has been going to work getting in with the NTDP boys and i think this is a solid choice somehow. can't really elaborate more on this, just a feeling i'm feeling.

again, in a world where jackets didn't commit to the bit of being so completely morbid awful nasty gross, adam going there so he wasn't too far away from his other half luca would've been good with me. the umichification of OHIO.. c'mon 〽️

and of course the reality of the great chances he's a future duck hasn't been lost on me. i think he's going to be a great addition to the canadian heist that will force zegras into more team canada jerseys.

plus he hit a matthews celly once. and i think that means he goes somewhere where it would be eaten up

4. will smith to buffalo

with a name like will smith he's got to go somewhere that i KNOW bitches will serenade him with the fresh prince of bel air theme song (like he assumedly has been all his life) and what better place to do this than the sabres. a team for silly goofy guys is where i think will smith and his NTDP taught silliness could thrive. also the athletic clowned on him for not being able to skate like jhughes despite being the n.1 center in the NTDP this year. whiteboy hockey looks can haunt you apparently .but my son you will go to a place where it doesn't matter because the vibes are too strong. cuz i said so

however, streets are saying he might be coming to the sharks. no surprise considering will is a future boston college student athlete and mike grier starts acting up anytime someone with BOSTON connections is in his sights. like a rabid dog with no self control. so, maybe bordy will be in contact with smith soon via insta DM?? and maybe i wouldn't be mad about it

anyway... all of these boys are haunted regardless of where they get drafted because they got invited to vegas to watch stanley cup final game 2.. and we all know that was a monstrosity so. Permanently scarred pre draft, here's how i would've saved them.

THE END!

[karlmarxmaybe]

ASKING FOR ADVICE TO HELP AN ABUSED CHILD

I know of a trans Canadian child whose parents are transphobic and abusive. He's at high risk of self-harm. I don't know much info about him (name, specific region of Canada he lives in) bc I only know him from his youtube channel. If you know how I can help him, please answer or message me. Details about the situation below.

TW: child abuse, neglect, transphobia, CSA, suicide attempt

Hello. I recently found a very tiny youtube channel that posts gameplays, tiktoks and clips of animated shows. It is run by a teenager (I don't know his age for sure) who makes community posts talking about his terrible life situation. He is a trans boy and his parents are very transphobic, they actively gaslight him and tell him nobody cares about him, they forbid him from talking to people and are actively infringing his rights. He also talks about being repeatedly sexually assaulted and abused by classmates at his school, in 4th grade. His mother's husband installed a camera in the living room and it makes him feel unsafe. He shows signs of PTSD and has attempted suicide various times. He needs immediate help.

I tried calling Canadian child servicies but they need to know for which region of Canada I'm calling and I don't know which region he lives in (I only know he's located in Canada from his youtube info). I am trying the Canadian trans helpline but it's always occupied. I don't know what else to do.

Please, someone who knows how I can help respond or message me. If you don't know how to help reblog so it can get to someone who knows. Please, we have to help him.

I have transcribed some of his posts below so you have more info. Again, trigger warnings for child abuse, neglect, transphobia, CSA and suicide attempt.

Post from a year ago:

I always thought that no matter how bad things got at home i would still have school and i wouldn't really get hurt or touched but not anymore | guess. So last Wednesday a boy classmate of mine kneed me on the butt and when another classmate confronted him he just played it off as a joke then today durning second recess a girl in the other __th grade class came up to me randomly and slapped me on the butt and when | told her to stop and leave me alone the boy from last Wednesday came and kicked me on the butt then the girl came and slapped me on the butt a second time and then ran. When | tried to tell a teacher that was on duty she told the girl that she's not in trouble and to just talk it out with me. Worst part of it is | thought of her as a friend and multiple people were telling the girl to leave me alone.

Post from 10 months ago:

Just found out my parents secretly his acamera in the living room and now | feel,unsafe? Now, idk if unsafe is the right wordbut once | saw it | started getting anxiousalmost immediately. | know it's just a camera and it's in the living room instead of a bedroom or bathroom but still, there shouldn't BE a camera anywhere anyways.

Post from 9 months ago:

My mom and her husband keep acting sexual with each other, which isn't unexpected, they're two adults who are married to each other but what | mean by this is they'll act sexual almost anywhere but alone in their room, mostly in the kitchen. So lately whenever | go into the kitchen whether it be because they called me or both my siblings name making me think they want me or because I'm hungry, and when | see them being sexual with each other, my mom blames me because "| should know better" then tells me about doing explicit stuff with her husband then gets mad at me for being upset

Think of what | said like a AITA reddit post, I basically just want an opinion on the situation

Post from 3months ago:

does anyone else feel like they're going insane due to their parents? turns out that a shit ton of the stuff my mother has taught me is just all bullshit lies that have ruined my life in so many ways, and my stepdad constently tells me that he's going to kill my cat and if i had blue eyes then my mother would love me. and that's not even mentioning the phsyical abuse or anything i've repressed. it all feels like torture but i have to deal with it because everyone has it worse then me and what if i tell another adult? they'll have to get CAS involed then i'll get taken away and put into a worse home and i'll ruin my siblings lives and the entire family all because i was selfish. but what if that was just another one of my mothers lies and it's none of that willhappen??? but what about all those damn documentaries and shows my mother would make me watch of other children that had been put into terrible foster homes?? that means it can happen to me if i don't keep my mouth shut but i feel like i'm slowly going insane and i don't know what to do, there's nothing i can do! do i deserve this because i'm a bad child? or was a bad child? was i bound to live like this? did i do something wrong again and i just can't remember it again??? what do i do??? what have i done??? i don't know anymore and i want this to all stop but the only way to stop it is death but that'll be selfish because what if someone finds my dead body??? what if there's still people that care about me??? then it'll be cruel to end myself when people still care about me because i'll make them sad. i've already ruined so many people's lives while alive i shouldn't continue it while being dead. or is that also not true? is none of it true? is everyone but my parents the ones that are actually correct? i really can't tell anymore and that hurts the most

Post from 3 months ago:

what do I do with transphobic parents?yesterday i had to be with my parents for about 8 hours as my mother screamed at me and told me a bunch of terrible things because she found out i want to be a boy and she refuses to see me as one. some of the things she said is that wanting to be the opposite gender is a mental illness, how she feels like i killed her daughter. she straight told me that she will never accept me and that no matter how much i care about someone nobody really cares about me and everyone will just forget about me in a few years and how the ONLY people that care about me is my mother and step-father. she also forbids me from talking to anyone but i luckily have a secret computer that I've been using to talk to a friend. do i just have to accept all of this? is there anything i can do? i'm not old enough to move out and there's no one outside my household that i can stay with, even if there was my mother would just put up a huge fight having me go back anyways. | don't know what to do, i mean as long as i'm not getting physically hurt then I should just accept basically being mentally tortured, right? | just have to survive 4 more years then i can move far away but i just wantto die more and more everyday, and i was getting better when everyone at school was being accepting but yesterday my mother destroyed all of it. honestly I'll be surprised if I'm still alive in 2 years, and I'm really trying to continue living for my 2 best friends and my cat but if my mom's correct and they don't actually care about me then what the hell's the point. i don't know anymore, please can anyone give me a sliver of advice on how to deal with any of this

Post from 1 month ago:

Sometimes I wonder if both my parents loved me and treated me like human being, raised me with human decency, just like they treat everyone else.

How different would I be? Surely I'd be better, right? Hypothetically? It doesn't matter anyways, | want to die so much I've already tried three times this week and when | tried to ask my mom for a therapist she said | don't need one, she literally signed me up for some sort of waiting list thing and when | finally told her | got a voicemail to call back she told me that | don't need one and started to guilt trip me. | fucking need it, if lanyards didn't snap open easily then | would be dead. The only reason I'm still alive is because the lanyard snaps open whenever | try to hang myself with it and I'm too tires to go searching for something better. | fucking hate this, I'll try to kill myself one night then go to school the next day as if I wouldn't be dead if it weren't for a stupid lanyard. It's stupid and I'm just making people concerned whenever I'm acting "off". Nobody would be concerned about me ever again if | was dead. How many things can | YELL before they finally listen to me? How many things do | have to do before they notice or know? And those statements, or questions, go for everyone in my life. It doesn't matter how much | ask for help or simply show are yell about how I'm not alright everyone just keeps doing what their doing and won't listen until about an hour later of me trying to show I'm upset someone finally notices and | say that | was literally yelling at them and they still didn't even notice me, when that happens they feel bad and start to apologize. For SOME people it now just feels like empty apologizes, while for others | know they have a hard time paying attention especially when someone already has their attention so they get a pass because it's not they mean it. But still. At this point does it really matter? | have a job, a purpose if you will, and that is to protect and care for everyone. But some people | don't want to take care of. | don't want to keep taking care of grown adults who hardly take care of me, but | still have to because | know them. If | die I'll only feel bad for my cat and my 2 best friends. I've lost everything else that made me want to live. My little cousin's, my grandpa, | hardly see my Nana and my mom's cousin/ my "aunt” anymore. | promised to myself that | would protect my cousin's and now they're god knows where and everyone else is some other reason, the worst part might be that they're not dead, they're still alive, | can cope with death much easier than abandonment.But it's whatever. It's life. You lose people and eventually you die. So what's the point anymore? | could kill myself during summer break and nobody but my family would know. At least my friends wouldn't be worried and sorrowful

Post from 3 weeks ago:

My parents took away my mattress, my bedframe is bars, | have no where to sleep buton a broken couch that someone has masturbated on SEVERAL times

Post from 4 days ago:

| hate remembering stuff so much, I've taught myself to forget all the bad memories, so much so that I'm quick to forget even the good memories. But now lately whenever | try to use my method to forget stuff | just remember more. | don't want to remember more. | hate it so much. | don't want to remember all the time's I've been SAd at school. Why the fuck do | have to remember that. | hate remembering what happened each time. | hate remembering being surrounded by several people and all they did was STAND THERE AND FUCKING AS | CRIED AND SCREAMED AT THEM TO STOP. | FUCKING HATE THAT | HAVE TO REMEMBER IT. THEN BEING BLAMED FOR CAUSING A SCENE OR TOLD THAT IT WAS JUST AN ACCIDENT, A MISTAKE. IT WASN'T A FUCKING ACCIDENT. THEY WERE TOLD TO LEAVE ME ALONE BEFORE HAND. THEN WHEN THEY ACTUALLY STARTED SLAPPING MY ASS AND | SCREAMED AT THEM TO STOP THEY FUCKING DIDN'T ALL THEY DID WASLAUGH. so it wasn't a fucking mistake. Infact they would've kept going and it would'vegotten worse if | wasn't saved by the bell. The people | was hanging out with just stared and watched. Out of all the time's I've been SA'd at school only ONE person has even tried to help me, Olivia told D to leave me alone beforehand because she knows | would never want that, especially unexpected and by someone who | hardly knew, even when D and M wouldn't leave me alone Olivia was trying to also scream at them to leave me alone and when the bell rang she ran over to me, put her hand on my back and led me over to our doors, led me up the stairs and helped me to find the French teacher because | trusted her. That was the only time someone tried to help. Not any of the times in 4th grade, and that shit went one everyday for 3 months! And at no point did anyone help me on track and field day, despite being surrounded by so many people all they did was watch or look the other way when | was pinned to the ground and being touched inappropriately by TWO people. So of course | had to fight to get back to standing. And when a teacher finally came over because | was screaming and crying,despite telling them what had just happened they just gave me trouble for causing a scene. | fucking hate all the people that touched me the way they did. | hate that people just stood there and did fucking nothing. And | fucking hate the teachers that just waved me off and said it was fine. | fucking hate remembering shit that | want to desperately forget