#anyway thinking of cooking all my meals in the rice cooker from now on. my mind has been opened to the possibilities

[today-i-am-thinking-about]

egg loaf

[ilylovelyz]

housewife! reader w traditional! manly! ushijima makes my knees weak omg. the thought of this man training all day to come home to his little housewife and a home cooked meal!! he doesn’t care that you aren’t done setting the table he’s gonna bend you over it anyways. he’s just so in love w you!

sjdjjwje

this is kinda dark but the thought of him hiding ur birth control pills or replacing them with the sugar pills so he can knock you up oh my daysss like what’s the point of letting him fill your womb if he can’t put a baby in there :(

⍣ ೋ Million Dollar Man

˚ · . dilf!ushijima x afab!reader

: ̗̀➛ dubious consent of impreg (?), birth control sabotage, traditional!husband ushijima, stay at home/housewife!reader, kitchen sex (yummy), misogyny (?), breeding, degradation + humiliation, size comparison, size kink, big dick toshi, dacryphilia, cervix fucking, just a whole lotta breeding <3, mentions of pregnancy dur

࣪𓏲ּ i was originally gonna work on an angsty fic for hinata but this was calling me </3 ushijima is so lana del rey

you're screwed up and brilliant you look like a million dollar man

"i'm home." he calmly says, careful to not close the door so noisy.

he takes off his shoes like normal, changing into his house slippers shortly after. he's inhaling eagerly, the scent of well-cooked rice filling his senses.

he walks to the kitchen, his slipper clad feet softly pattering against the natural wood that is his traditional house's flooring. he passes by the doorway that connects to the living room, glancing in and stealing a look that is his first born daughter napping on the floor next to his also sleeping second daughter.

he makes a mental note to not be so loud as they are napping, he knows better than to disturb them.

"welcome home, wakatoshi." you say with that warm smile of yours, eyes crinkling up at the sight of your husband. he softly smiles at you in return, grunting softly in response.

his eyes look over to the stove, a large pot with a cover surely boiling, and then to the rice cooker; which is what he assumes is full of already well-done rice.

he looks back at you curiously, he can only guess what you're making, he doesn't cook often, thats your job as a housewife.

"i'm makin' hayashi rice, you're favorite."

his cheeks can only tingle with shyness, to anyone he might just look ungrateful or monotonous, but it's far from that.

he adores you.

"thank you," he says, taking a few steps towards you until his chest is a few inches away from your face.

he towers over you, you have a tiny frame compared to his almost gigantic one. some have even questioned the two of you about it, stealing a couple of snide jokes here and there.

he can't lie and say that he doesn't find it "interesting." he brings a hand suddenly up to your head, patting your hair lightly. you blush lightly at his affection, leaning into his gentle touches.

he doesn't understand why you still get so shy around him, but he doesn't mind it. he likes that you're so humble and polite, even when it comes to your own husband that you've known since the young age of 17. you're 33 now.

"hm," he hums lightly, leaning down to press a kiss onto your forehead. he places a few kisses on your forehead, temple and nose before he's taking your chin in-between his fingers and tilting your head upwards so he can kiss you on your lips.

it still surprises you, how he can take your breath away from one kiss. as his hands wrap around your upper back to bring you closer to him, you can only think back to the time when the two of you were younger and less experienced, him having less experience than you, so you had to lead him with the expertise you had.

it was cute then, the way he was the one who trembled under your touch, looking at you curiously for the courtesy to touch you.

oh, how time flies. now the two of you own a home together, and have two children together, two beautiful girls, the youngest still a little less than a year old.

while ushijima has always been so stoic and known for it, he, over the many years that have passed, has become twice the man he was those years ago.

it almost flusters you, and you can't help but look back on those younger days with a bittersweet smile, remembering the little boy who would ask to hold your hand.

you fluster at the way his strong hands are tearing your clothes off boldly in the middle of the kitchen, his mouth breathing in your sweet gasps for air as he kisses you passionately.

he cups the side of your face, holding your face still as he all but explores your mouth with his own tongue. you tremble within his hold, your ankles almost giving in weakly just because of a simple kiss.

he notices, and with a squeal, he's lifting you up easily into his arms, walking over to the dinner table, using one of his arms to move aside the dishes you precariously chose for that night. dinner can wait, you guess.

he lays you over the cold wooden table, his hands caressing and rubbing your bare skin. you look beautiful underneath him, eyes already glazed over with tears, mouth red and plush. your neck has fading love bruises and bites, he takes note of it to make sure to go over them once more later.

his hand comes up to fondle your breast, his other running down your torso and down to your back thigh. you mindlessly softly moan at his touches, it always feels good to be touched by him.

but he shushes you, leaning downwards to rest his forehead against yours. "you'll have to be quiet, you don't wanna wake up the kids, don't you?" he whispers softly, in contrast, his fingers are already gliding themselves over your folds, dipping a finger into your already dripping cunt.

you gasp at his lewd actions, an eyebrow raising at his words. "d-don't you think i-it's a bit unfair to say that and then.." you meekly say, trailing off when he adds in another finger, curling them inside and pressing against your sensitive walls.

"..and then what?" he teases, punctuating his sentence by pressing his finger-pads against that sweet spot. your body jolts with pleasure, a hand of yours coming up to clamp over your mouth to muffle your pathetic moans.

"y-you're mean," you mumble out, eyes stinging with shy tears. it has your eyes widening when he's visibly smirking at your words, pupils dilated and dark with pure lust.

"you're so naughty, don't you feel ashamed, as a mother, to be so wet like this on the diner table of all places? isn't this where your kids eat?" he boldly says, adding in a third finger as to worsen his seeming punishment. bastard.

"t-this isn't—it's not–you're such a bastard..!" you stutter out, your free hand coming up to punch lightly against his chest. he lightly chuckles at your words before he returns to his menacing actions.

"why don't you cum on my fingers like this, mama? don't be so loud, you'll wake your dear kids." he says, standing up straight to watch the way your body trembles and jolts with pleasure at his words. like command, despite your own pleas and mewls of disapproval, you're cumming on his fingers like a whore, on his word.

thats how it should be.

you're panting on against the dinner table, hiding your face into the crook of your elbow. you're quickly setting your attention back on him when he calls out your name, opening your mouth submissively when he presses his the same fingers that are covered in your own cum against your lips, feverly sucking up your own juices from his fingers.

you blush once more when he's lightly scoffing at your actions, his free hand coming up to rush his pants and boxers off, freeing his cock and lining himself up to your cunt. "don't be loud, mama," you gasp at his words, his fat tip popping into the tight confines of your pussy walls.

his pace is already ruthless, almost taunting you as he lifts your leg over his shoulder, his cock snugly fitting against your cervix with every thrust. you try your best not to be so loud, but it's a hard task to do, especially when he's purposely abusing all of your weak spots.

his eyes narrow at your state underneath him, grunting against the skin of your calf when he sees a tear run down your cheek. "crying? does it feel good?" he asks menacingly, his free hand coming up to squish your cheeks together degradingly, forcing you to pout within his grip.

it only makes you cry harder at his mean gestures, he never fails to make you feel so little, so small. all count of restrain is lost as you shamelessly moan and cry out at his unrelentingly pounding, cheeks burning greatly as you give into his clear humiliation.

he's almost uncharacteristically grinning at your defeat, bending your leg inwards to your chest, almost bending you in half. you grip onto his forearm for purchase when you're unexpectedly cumming once more, vision going white when he doesn't even slow down.

his right hand comes down to squeeze at your doughy breast, noticing that it's lacking the milk you used to have a few months ago. no, that won't do.

"'gonna cum inside." he declares, his other hand coming down to lift the leg that is dangling off the table so as you get you into the perfect mating press. your eyes are widening bewilderedly at his words, a little shocked.

"b-but i'm not on birth control," you mutter out, but from the way he doesn't falter in his thrusts, it seems he already knows. yeah, of course he knows, he threw them away awhile ago. you don't need those silly pills anymore, you're his wife, your duty is to stay at home, raise his kids, and have as many kids as he pleases.

"t-toshi, utako is not even a year old–ah," you cry out, only to be silenced when ushijima is shoving his tongue back down your throat.

"you're my wife, don't you want my babies?" he asks, stilling his hips, his cock pulled out to the tip. he stares at you expectantly.

you're thinking for a few seconds, he doesn't assume anything in particular except of his cock. you're braindead like that, having nothing but a mommy brain after the last few times he's fucked you so well and good that he got you knocked up.

"..want toshi's babies.." you sob, throwing your head back when you're once again coming around his cock once he continued his thrusts at your words once more, your pussy sloshing lewdly with every movement.

yes, of course you want his babies. that's what you're made for. that's what your lovely existence is for, to cook him a good dinner and then spread your legs for him as dessert. whats a good woman if she doesn't submit to her husband?

he's grateful that you're a good woman, one that is so intelligent yet submissive to him. one that is letting him stuff you fill of his thick seed, letting her hard-working husband fill her yet again full with their third child.

it's just this that you're expected to give, you don't have to do much aside from look after the house and the children you produce, you can do whatever you want with the free time you have left, whether it's the beautiful paintings you create, or the horrendous amount of shopping you do with his credit card.

"i love you," he whispers softly against your ear, noting from the way your chest is rising slowly means that you passed out. dinner still hasn't been served, but thats okay. you've probably had a long day too.

౨ৎ please leave a like and repost with tags

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

compromise is made out of peace but history's made out of violence

Fandom: Kamen Rider Amazons Characters: Mizusawa Haruka, Izumi Nanaha, Takayama Jin / Chihiro, Nagase Hiroki / Mizusawa Mizuki, several orphanage children Song: "Sing Along," Sturgill Simpson (playlist here) Warnings: Well, this is Amazons fic, so if you've watched Amazons I'm sure you can guess, but--TW for references to cannibalism, although there is no actual violence. There is also, in the third part, a small amount of blood.

well i know you know that you’re killing me, but it’s worth it just to see you smile

.

The couch in Jin’s apartment is old and beat-up and not especiallycomfortable, but Nanaha’s draped one of her many shawls over it, and so it makes the entire room seem warm anyway. Haruka sits nearly at attention, nervous, hands half-folded on his knees, and says, again, “Thank you, Ms. Nanaha.”

She just flaps a hand at him from where she’s working in the kitchen. “It’s fine, I like to cook. And I figured having you over might keep Jin on his toes, he gets too full of himself.”

The entire apartment smells of food, rice in the cooker and vegetables and spices and sauces and chicken. Especially chicken. Haruka shuts his eyes and breathes the scent in, and it calms him so much that when he realizes how good he feels he’s shaken again. Did meat always smell so extraordinary? It was difficult to sit while she was cutting it up; he wanted to offer to help just so he could steal bites, eat it raw and feel the texture against his teeth…

He shakes himself, keeping his eyes shut, and Nanaha says, very calmly, “See, this is why I didn’t let you help. I can’t let Jin in the kitchen when I’m cooking at all.”

“I—” He flushes hot. “You can tell what I’m thinking about?”

“Not really, just an educated guess. Jin tilts his head the same way when he’s thinking about food.” Suppressed laughter audible in the back of her throat. “Among other things. Anyway, if you eat all the chicken raw then you won’t get to taste it when it’s cooked. You can help with dishes after, Jin’s terrible at that.”

He nods, eyes still shut against his own embarassment. “Yes, Ms. Nanaha.”

Another deep sniff, and it’s astonishing, how he can smell the meat in the pan, tracing the shifts in its flavor as it cooks and soaks in sauce. There’s another scent, too, underlying the cooking food, and he’s not sure what it is, but it’s intoxicating.

The floor creaks, the fridge door opening, and the strange scent moves too, and Haruka’s eyes snap open as he realizes that what he smells is Nanaha, and she smells like food.

He’s so hungry. And she’s right there. It would be so easy, she’s not even two meters away and just smelling her he can almost taste—

The apartment door opens, and a moment later Jin thumps down on the couch next to him and murmurs, cheerily, “Teeth off my girl.”

“I, I wasn’t, I don’t—”

“’course you do.” Jin slaps him on the back, almost friendly. “Who wouldn’t?”

“Don’t talk about eating me like I can’t hear you,” Nanaha says, not looking up from her cooking. “Dinner’s almost ready, anyway, you can control yourselves for two minutes.”

Haruka buries his face in his hands. “Does it ever stop, Jin? Are we always hungry?”

He can hear Jin grinning. “Always, always. It’s about self-control, Haruka. Secret is, when you get down to it, we’re all made out of meat. Me, her.” Hand on his shoulder, mouth next to his ear. “You. It’s all meat.”

Haruka shudders, and then shudders again as he realizes that he can still smell Nanaha, that she smells like she would be the best meal he’s ever had. And he can smell Jin too, different, gamey but good, and his mouth is watering.

The edge of a plate bumps his hand, and he looks up at Nanaha, who smiles down at him and says, “Here. Dinner. It’ll take the edge off.”

--

bitter air and the winds of spite

.

Chihiro has been sleeping on the floor of Hiroki’s bedroom for a week, ever since the day after he ran away from 4C, and he’s not sure he can stand it anymore.

It’s not the floor itself, the floor is fine. He’s got a few blankets. He’s got a pillow. The carpet is soft and not dirty, because as much as Hiroki tries to talk big and act rough he likes his things to be clean. The room is warm and full of life. But Hiroki is in bed, asleep, and the smell of him is overwhelming.

He tends to fall sleep on his stomach, vulnerable, the back of his neck exposed. One of his arms dangles over the edge of the bed, so close that Chihiro could reach out and grasp it. Breathing slow and even, pulse steady.

Chihiro drifts off with his mouth watering.

Later in the night he wakes, and the scent is still there, Hiroki in the bed so close by smelling like prey for the eating. Slow and sleepy, he sits up and says, “Hey, Hiroki?”

No answer but an unconscious sigh, and then Hiroki rolls over onto one side, facing the wall, his back entirely open. He’s slim, too, even in the dim light Chihiro can practically count his vertebrae, and in counting become lost in a dreamy imagining of what they might taste like when crushed between his teeth.

He's moving before he’s even really aware of it, like a sleepwalker, crawling the short distance from his nest of blankets to the edge of the bed. The closer he gets, the more the scent fills his nose until he’s certain he can taste it, the siren call of fresh meat making his mouth hang open. He leans forward and presses his face close to the back of Hiroki’s neck and breathes it in, drowsy and hungry, and oh, it would be so easy to taste, so easy to bite—

He’s scrambling backwards right as Hiroki wakes up with a startled snarl of, “What the fuck do you think you’re, Chihiro, what the fuck.”

Chihiro’s already hiding himself in his blankets again as he stammers out, “Sorry, I’m, I don’t, I mean, I think I was asleep, I think I was dreaming, I’m sorry.”

Hiroki stares at him for a long moment, looking affronted and alarmed, and then says, “Just stay off my bed and don’t be a fucking freak. Go back to sleep.”

Chihiro mumbles assent and pulls a blanket over his head. “I’m sorry,” he says again, even as he rolls the scent around his mouth, the memory of that pulse so close to his teeth, and tries to pretend that his stomach isn’t growling.

---

after the war of the words has ceased all that’s left is the deafening silence

.

The staff of the orphanage was always minimal, and with the death of the principal the others all fled, leaving Mizuki to handle everything. Her mother has somehow managed to transfer the orphanage accounts to her, so managing things isn’t especially difficult. They’re mostly self-sufficient, anyway; most of what the children eat, they grow themselves, and they’re all learning to cook together.

Tonight they’re making rice bowls. The rice is already cooking, of course. Two of the older girls are cutting up vegetables, a younger boy is mixing a sauce, and Mizuki is cutting tofu. The tofu is homemade too; she’s been consistently surprised and delighted by how good it is. She was mostly a vegetarian already before coming here, for reasons that she doesn’t ever plan on explaining to anyone here, but the food they make together has made it a pleasure.

The girls are singing a song together, cheerful and bright, and as Mizuki looks up to ask if they can teach her the words, her knife slips and opens a red gash along one finger. She yelps, dropping the knife and grabbing for a square of paper towel to keep from bleeding on the tofu.

The kitchen has gone still.

The girls are staring at the bloody knife, now on the floor next to Mizuki’s feet. The boy, Kuhi, is frozen with his whisk in the sauce, gaze fixed on her cut finger. Mizuki stares back at them, blood soaking into the paper towel, and for a moment.

For a moment.

She feels hunted.

And then the children all visibly shake themselves and she fights the feeling back and says, “Kuhi, could you go get the kitchen first aid kit, please? Natsu, please find me another knife, I’ll get this one into the sink but I don’t want to use it on the food anymore until it’s been thoroughly cleaned. Shina, I’d appreciate it if you’d check to make sure none of the tofu got blood on it, we should throw away any that’s gotten contaminated.”

They all nod, and Kuhi runs to the corner of the kitchen where the first aid kit is stored while Mizuki gets her knife into the sink and washes her hands. It’s not a bad cut when it’s cleaned, it was just the location making it look nasty.

Kuhi bumps her elbow with his head when he comes back, affectionately, and says, “Do you need me to help you bandage it?”

She nods. “That’d be very helpful, Kuhi, thank you.”

The tension doesn’t come back into the room, even when he’s wrapping gauze around her finger and taping it closed. Smiling, she reaches out and brushes hair from his face with her uninjured hand. “Thank you very much, Kuhi. I appreciate your help.”

He nods, smiling brightly at her. “Of course, Miss Mizuki.” The end of the tape goes neatly into place. “We love you.”

“I know.” She hugs him, watching Shina hesitate over the trash can before she throws away the few cubes of bloodied tofu. “I love you all too.”

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 66 - Tasai's challenge - Lazy man food: Curry rice.

Part 1 (To part 2)

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression.  Joe, Tasai, welcome. Well, today we are off to a quick start...I'm not exactly sure whats going on...I feel like we started all of a sudden, but I don't know...

J: Well, Tasai is in high spritis today.

T: I've put the effort in.

J: Haha.

K: You have a plan for today, Tasai?

T: Yeah, we talked about food ideas before, right? We came up with a few different ideas, but there was one I wanted to try...

J: I see.

T:...so I've brought the stuff with me today.

J: I'm feeling the pressure with this. This means I have to bring in something next time, I can feel it, haha.

K: Is that it? haha.

T: So, there was one thing I wanted to try... recently, pressure cookers are so useful, aren't they? You can just leave it alone and get a meal out of it. I thought we could try making the ultimate lazy food with one.

J: Ultimate lazy cooking?

T: I wondered if we could make curry just by washing and peeling the vegetables. Like, can we just throw them in without cutting, add water, and make curry just with the pressure alone? I'd put the curry roux in last.

J: Ah, yeh, you usually have to slice and cook the vegetables, don't you?

T: Yeh, its a hassle!

K: Haha.

J: Hm, I think it will turn into something like curry, but I wonder about how exactly it will look and taste.

T: My goal is that it will all melt and become soft...Well, the point is to test new things out.

K: So lets give it a go?

T: Yes, lets try it!

J: So, you've brought the stuff with you today?

T: Yes, I have.

J: Mr Planning...Planning man, its great.

T: Panning man, yeh, I hate being late, I plan everything.

J: What have you actually brought?

T: Uh, I'll show you, I'll just put these gloves on first.

J: Ah, infection control.

T: Its these *picks up a bag of veggies*

K: Oh, they are already washed?

T: Yes, so I got two whole onions, a carrot..

J: I feel like I want to cut the carrot! Are you really gonna put it in whole?

K: Haha

T: Yes. Then mini tomatoes for acidity...

J: You bought mini tomatoes too? Cute.

T: Then garlic.

J: Oh, garlic, yeh.

T: And then this packaged chicken.

K: You put that in whole too?

T: Yes, just throw it in.

K: Haha

J: Ehh? Don't you even ???*1 with your hands?

T: No no no, thats not lazy food.

J: Oh right, yeh. Waa, this is extreme.

T: I can smell the onions a bit.. ok, then we have apple juice.

J: Oh, apple juice.

T: Yeh. Then we have this mystery item.

J: What is it?

T: You'll find out that later. I'll put it away.

J: Ehh? Is it ok? What is it? Is it legal?

T: Haha, yes. So I've brought along a pressure cooker too. This thing is heavy.

J: Brilliant

K: Yeh, it is.

J: What am I gonna bring next time??

T: I was worried that no one would want to do this and Id have to haul this thing back home with me unused.

J: Its risky, right?

T: Ok, so I'll put all the ingredients in it.

J: You havn't tried this at home before now have you?

T: I do have a gas powered pressure cooker, but I've never used an electric one before.

J: Really?

T: I've been wanting to try this out. I ended up doing it on this show *2 . Ok, carrot in..

J: I really wanna slice that carrot, seeing it now.

T: And these, garlic and tomatoes.

K: But, doesn't soup curry have a lot of chunks in?

J: Well, it does yeh, big pieces.

T: This carrot hasn't been peeled. I just pulled the top off.

K: Well, yeh ???*3

J: I mean,  you can it eat raw anyway, so its fine.

T: Then the chicken..

J: Its just like you said, packaged chicken.

T: Peeling it open is allowed.

J: I imagined a box

T: Haha. This is from the supermarket. There, it's in.

J: Ah, this really is lazy food. Its shocking to think it might taste good at this stage *4

T: Yeah. Then the apple juice.

J: Thats it?

T: Oh, the Evian. Im not sure how it will work out using soft water though. 

J: Does it make a difference if you use hard or soft water?

T: I think it will have an effect on the food, yeah.

J: Uh, sorry, how much water are you putting in?

T: Oh, just by feeling. haha

J: Feeling? No way. I don't like the thought of Tokyo Sports' 'feeling', haha.

K: You put the curry in at the end?

T: Yeh, after it gets all soft the pressure will shoot up a jet of steam. So with curry or stew etc, you alawys put that in at the end after it gets soft.

K: What about that mystery ingredient you showed us before?

T: Ah, this? Ingredient X.

K: You put that in at the end too?

T: Yeh, I'll get you to smell it.

J: Ehh?

K: So, now we just wait?

T: Yep.

K: Eh? How long?

T: Probably about 1 hour.

K: Will it be done in one hour?

J: Yeh, that carrot..

T: I've managed it in one hour before

J: Are you being sponsered by the pressure cooker maker? haha

T: ???* 5

J: Did you do this every time? Haha

T: Ok, lets meet back here in one hour.

J,K: Yep.

*One hour later*

K: Ok, its been one hour, and this thing has been on the whole time, right?

T: Yes, its keeping the pressure in.

K: If we open it..?

T: I think it will probably have turned out well.

J: Really?

K: How do you open it? 

T: First, the pressure is still high inside, so we release it, and a big stream of steam will shoot up. We get it so that its safe to open, then we can open it.

K: What? Steam bursts out? I don't really know how this works, I'm scared, haha.

J: Don't you need to move it away a bit?

T: No, its ok. 3, 2, 1 ... *releases pressure valve, nothing happens* ...Huh? Its open!

J: Huh?!

K: Eh?!

T: Its already released the steam.

J: Huh? Oh, but I can really smell curry.

K: There's no curry in it yet.

J: No, I mean like the veg, the soup base.

T: Ok, I'll open it....Tadaa! Hm?! Haha, it hasn't melted at all.

J: Ehh? It didn't work?

K: Well, no, it depends how it tastes.

T: ???*6

K: Maybe 1 hour is too short? Or not?

T: I think it is has probably all become extremely softened up though.

J: Yeh, it'll fall apart if you nudge it.

K: Ahh, yeh.

Kami: Wasn't the pressure working?

T: Uh, it looks like it was working actually. It does look like it was working, but Im gonna try to break up the pieces and see. It smells good, doesn't it?

K: Yeah.

J: Yeah, that curry soup base smell.

K: Yeah.

*T mixes pot with a plastic spoon*

T: Oh, look.

K: Its become tender.

J: Yeah, but that carrot is still in one piece. Is this just regular vegetable soup?

T: *prods spoon into carrot, then the other ingredients* Oh! Nice! Ohhh, its working.

J: Will it all break up like this?

T: Yes... *opening curry roux pack*...probably after we add the curry. This is regular medium spice curry.

K: Will it melt?

J: Oh, looks like it will.

T: I just want to ???*7 a tiny bit.

K: Ah, yeh.

J: Mr Planning, are you ok?

T: Yes, I'm ok. Its going to plan.

K: You're putting all the curry roux in?

T: About this much. Im just going by feeling again, 4 cubes seems about enough.

K: Should we put the heat on again for a bit?

J: Yeah, the curry won't melt like this, right?

T: No, its melting, it is melting.

J: Really?

T: Yeah, look.

K: Oh yeah.

T: Its ok, I got this.

K: It kinda fees like we're camping.

J: Haha, yeh.

T: I think this is done.

J: Its done?!

T: Yeah.

J: Yeh, as you are stiring it, it breaks up more and more.

T: Yeah, look, look, look.

J: It looks good. Was I wrong to tell you to chop the veggies. Is it ok?

K: The result is good even without cutting.

J: Well, maybe.

K: This is like you, Joe?

J: Yeh ,haha, this is my type of food, haha. 

T: A man can totally make this by himself.

J: Hey, that onion is looking good, the more you stir it.

T: Look, look, look.

J: The meat is coming apart too. It looks a lot like curry now.

K: Its thickening up too.

J: Yeh, it is.

T: Look at this *lifts big piece of carrot on spoon*

K: Luxurious!

T: Haha, isn't this proper man food?

J: Yeah. Its great. Tasai the man!

K: Its looking quite delicious now.,

J: Thats right, it does.

T: I think thats mixed in well enough now, so..

J: The secret...?

T: Oh, no..first...*rumages off screen*

J: Is there more?

T: *finds cable and plugs it in* We'll heat it a little more.

To part 2 To top page

[rengokus-eyeliner]

Moment’s Silence

Modern AU Rengoku Kyoujurou x F!Reader

It’s Kyoujurou’s birthday!! Since this special date also coincides with another big event this year, I had an idea to merge the two. I hope you enjoy!

SFW+NSFW

2.2k words

Tags: Fluff, domestic life, oral sex, overall Very Tender Sex

"Good work today!" You snatch your handbag, greeting Uzui-san on the way out. Glancing at your wristwatch, you quicken your pace a little.

5.48pm…

You have to pick up Rika from daycare, secure a cake and prepare dinner within 2 hours in order for your schedule to work out. If you were lucky, Kyoujurou would be tied up with club activities, giving you an extra 30 minutes…

"Mommy!" You spot the familiar puff of yellow and red making its way to you. Bending over to press a big kiss to her cheek, you haul her into your arms and make a mad dash towards the shopping district.

"Did you prepare what I asked you to?" Rika nods, pointing to her tiny backpack. "Good girl!"

"Mommy, there's a big crowd." She gasps a little, pointing a chubby finger towards the mass of bodies clustered in front of the bakery.

"Tanjiro-kun!" You yell over a couple huddled in front of the bakery's glass display, hoping that he heard you. Within a few seconds, your red-headed student peers out from within the ornate doors and flashes you a smile.

"Sensei! Here's your cake." A neatly wrapped box with a silky red ribbon in a bag is placed into your hands, and he bows. "Thank you very much! Happy m-"

"Thank you, I'll see you in school."

Rika waves to him over your shoulder as you turn on your heel. The sun's setting already, street lights flickering on as you finally make your way back to your apartment.

Heaving a sigh of relief, you jam the elevator button and finally have a moment to take a breath.

"Mommy, I could have walked." Rika frowns, her eyebrows- shaped much like her father's- furrow. You chuckle, nuzzling your daughter's hair.

"It's alright. You're not too heavy, anyway-" Just before the elevator doors can slide close, a hand jams itself into the tiny gap, scaring the life out of you.

"I'm sorry!" To your surprise, Kyoujurou steps in. Your husband stares at you for a few stunned seconds until Rika squirms around with delight.

"Daddy!" You hand her over to Kyoujurou, but not before he's able to lean in for a quick peck on the lips as a greeting.

"Rika! I've missed you~" He blows raspberries into her neck, earning ecstatic giggles that ring through the enclosed space.

"I thought you had club duties?"

"Hm? Oh, I exchanged shifts with Tomioka." He extends an arm to grab the paper bag before halting.

The two of you are holding paper bags, identical paper bags. From the Kamado Family bakery.

"Kyou, did you buy a cake for your own birthday? You should have known I would get one for you!" The lift doors jerk open, and the three of you cross the threshold into your house.

"It's not that, my love…" Kyoujurou murmurs, setting Rika down and ruffling her hair. "Did you forget? It's Mother's Day too."

Oh. Oh. Now that explained the crowd at the bakery today. You sigh, setting down the keys and your handbag.

"Now, I know what you're thinking." Swivelling around, Kyoujurou and Rika are standing side by side with their arms crossed over their chests, mischievous smiles on their faces. As much as the sight sends pangs through your heart, you will not be swayed. "You cannot split one entire cake between two people."

Simultaneously, the both of them groan. You leave them to their machinations to get dinner started.

Cooking in the Rengoku household is a thrill. Over the years, Kyoujurou has managed to participate in the kitchen without causing mass destruction, and sweet little Rika sits on the countertop, cheering the both of you on.

After getting Rika washed up and changed, Kyoujurou peeks over your shoulder while you're peeling the sweet potatoes. Today, you'll be making an indulgent version of Kyou's favourite dish- sweet potato rice.

You allow him to take over chopping them, and you turn your attention to preparing the rest of the ingredients. The two of you work like a well-oiled machine. Once you've sliced the cabbage and scallions, Kyoujurou has the sweet potatoes in the oven. You warm up the leftover white rice from yesterday in the rice cooker, along with the soft-boiled eggs.

"Rika, help me set up the table please?" Kyoujurou handles the plates, and Rika sets the cutlery down. Two blue and red bamboo chopsticks for you and Kyoujurou, with a smaller pair of training chopsticks for herself. 

The soft ping of the oven has you up and scooping the rice into bowls, while Kyou retrieves the ingredients from the counter.

"Can I help?" You hand her the furikake shaker, which she accepts with glee, sprinkling the sesame seeds and seaweed over the rice.

You watch, content, as they wolf down the meal, rice grains sticking to their cheeks. Rika definitely took after her father more.

"You may each have one slice, as a treat." You slide the cake from its white box onto the middle of the table, lighting a candle and placing it amidst the dainty curls of white cream. After singing happy birthday and taking an ample number of pictures, the three of you settle into easy conversation over dessert, until Rika sits up, remembering something.

"Happy birthday, Daddy!" She pulls a card from her bag, sliding it across the table towards Kyoujurou. He's beaming, holding the crayon drawing delicately. You giggle when you spot tears in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill.

"Thank you, Rika!"

"Wait, Mommy, I have something for you."

A pink carnation, layers of petals made of pink, frilly paper and a stem of wire wrapped in green tape. It's a little rough around the edges, but you can tell it was made with love. God, now you feel like a fool for making fun of Kyoujurou's tears.

"C'mon, my girl. Let's wash up the dishes. You'll be on towel duty!" Rika salutes, and they march off to the kitchen.

You resolve to having to change Rika's clothing again, as her father flicks soap bubbles onto her and she retaliates by using a spoon to divert the water from the faucet onto his shirt. Smart girl.

---

An hour of cartoons later, Rika is snoozing on Kyou's lap. You stick Kyoujurou's gift to the fridge with magnets, and place your carnation into a small glass bottle on top of your vanity.

"My daughter is the cutest thing in the entire world." Kyoujurou coos, tucking her under plush covers. As quietly as possible, you close the door behind you.

"Let's go take a shower." Kyoujurou whispers, and you arch an eyebrow.

"What if she wakes up?"

"If she's guaranteed to inherit one thing from me, it would be how I sleep like a log." He chuckles. As if to prove his point, you hear cute little snores from her room. "See?"

Hurrying into the bathroom, you feel like a hormonal teenager all over again. When was the last time the two of you had sex? Kyoujurou is by no means neglectful, but working as a teacher is hard. Pent-up stress and tension has built up in your body, and you're aching for a release.

As Kyoujurou strips, you admire his broad back, well-toned with defined muscle, and the shallow divot that runs down to his tailbone. Warmth worms your way into your core, awakening a tingle within you.

He must have felt the weight of your gaze on him, as he turns around and spots you staring. He huffs and grins, the barest hint of a blush blooming on his cheeks.

Your shower is barely large enough to accommodate two, but thankfully, Kyoujurou enjoys the same temperature as you. The hot water beats down on your back, and you can’t help but moan as the heat works its way into your aching muscles.

“Massage my back?” Kyoujurou asks, turning to the showerhead to rinse the soap from his hair. You gladly do so, running your hands up his slippery skin, feeling a shiver roll down his spine. Digging your thumbs into the base of his neck and rubbing circles until you feel the tension dissipate from his shoulders allows you to marvel at his physique. Every shift of his body grants you a ripple of tough muscle to gawk at. After taking your time on his lats, you slide your hands lower. Just the slightest pressure from your fingers makes Kyoujurou arch his back. He hums, turning to capture your lips in a deep kiss.

“Thank you, my love.” His eyes have a hint of hunger in them, and you can feel heat that isn’t from the steam rising in your body. One of his hands comb back the hair from your face, while the other skims down to knead the flesh on your rear. The slightest brush of his body against yours hardens your nipples, and you gasp when he brushes a thumb across one of them.

“Let me return the favour.” Kyoujurou lifts you onto the bathroom counter, the cool marble a deep contrast to your hot skin. Slowly, he kisses the sweet spots he knows so well on your neck, playing with your chest until you begin to heave in anticipation. You feel light-headed, in the consuming embrace of your husband, content to stay that way until the ache in your pussy grows too strong to be left unattended. His wandering hands clutch the soft curves of your hips.

“You’re gorgeous, beautiful, stunning.” He kneels on the floor, lifting your legs over his shoulders and leaving red spots as he sucks and bites down to the growing wetness between them. Two fingers come to coax your slick from between your folds, Kyoujurou admires the glisten of your swollen cunt before he finally flicks his tongue out to toy with your clit. The pleasure halts your breath, and you savour the sensations of his hot breath and tongue, building and building. You can’t help but run a hand through his wet hair, rake your fingers across his scalp which earns you an eager groan. 

Kyou pulls back with a gasp, licking the remainder of your wetness from his lips. He helps you down from the counter and wraps you with a towel, ushering you out of the bathroom and into your bedroom.

“Sit back.” You crawl onto the bed and push him down into the soft pillows. His beautiful cock bobs between his legs, twitching when you lick down his shaft. You spit onto his head, a hand spreading your saliva down until it drips onto his heavy balls. With slow, deliberate strokes, you suck his balls, keening under the low moans and sighs of your lover. Kyoujurou’s hard cock in your gentle grip, the heady scent of his precum… It feels so good to have him all to yourself for once, to have him be pleasured by your touch, straining to hold himself back from thrusting his hips upward. With a hand still on his length, you take the tip of his cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue as you inch your way down his thickness.

“Wait- ah, fuck!” Kyou whines, digging his fingers into your shoulder. “Feels...too good.”

You lean back, a thin string of spit between your lips and his cock beading onto the bedding. Kyoujurou lies on his side behind you, holding your thigh up with one arm and propping himself up with the other. He drags his length between your slippery folds before positioning at your entrance. Easing himself in, you feel him shudder and grunt. Every inch sliding in, warming you up from the inside, filling you. Gentle until he bumps against your cervix, fully sheathed within you.

“Love, you feel so good…”

“Kyou…” You whimper, clenching around the ample size of his meaty cock. “Please?”

Gingerly, he thrusts his hips upwards, at an angle such that his full length rubs against your g-spot, again when he pulls back. You busy yourself with fingering your clit. The pressure builds back up again, growing, growing. Your moans are breathy, mingling with gasps of his name. Kyoujurou licks the shell of your ear, nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. It’s gentle, needy. 

“I’m...gonna…” You stutter, and Kyoujurou goes the slightest bit faster, pressing into you enough to tip you over the edge. He continues through your climax, until you’re left a trembling mess in his arms. With ease, he flips you over onto your back and slides himself in again. He kisses you, tongue and warm breath consuming you entirely, muffling both of your moans of pleasure.

Gradually picking up pace, you encourage him by holding him closer, wrapping your weak legs around his torso. Whispers of your name, so tender from his mouth, spoken like a prayer into your ear. The room’s filled with noise from just the two of you- the rhythmic, wet noise of your sex mixed in with moans and sighs.

“Inside, please.” Kyoujurou’s breath ghosts over your collarbone, the steady pace of his hips meeting yours growing more erratic, desperate. With a stutter of his hips, he finishes, resting against you for a few silent moments like a blanket.

“Thank you, my love.” Kyoujurou spoons you again, stroking the silhouette of your body. “Happy Mother’s Day. Thank you so, so much for granting me this happiness.”

“It’s not Mother’s Day anymore, Kyou. But happy belated birthday, love.” You giggle, planting a tender kiss on his lips. “It’s 12.04am.”

[pigeontheoneandonly]

Lemongrass

So this was nominally supposed to be about a cooking lesson (loosely prompted by a post from @dr-ladybird), but it came out much more bittersweet and melancholy.

Thanks to @pushingsian for the beta!

NB: In my version of Mass Effect, Nathaly Shepard is vegetarian, and Kaidan Alenko's mother is Thai.

Lemongrass

The haunting quiet of a Canadian night along the Sunshine Coast still kept Shepard awake, even after two months.  She missed the endless creaking of the ship, the muffled voices coming through the hatches and decks, the hum of the drive core lulling her to sleep.  Everyone thought space was silent. She snorted and wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered on the porch, drawing a blanket close like a shawl.  This was silence, this… lonely wilderness.

Footsteps fell soft on the cabin’s wooden floor.  She glanced over her shoulder, and saw Kaidan padding barefoot to the door, still rubbing his eyes.  Her face broke into a smile despite herself, quiet, tired.  “Hey.”

 “It’s cold out here tonight.”  He rubbed his arms.  “Can’t sleep again?”

“You don’t need to get up,” she replied, sidestepping the question. 

He glanced out over the property, towards the coastline a half-acre away.  “It wasn’t this quiet when I bought it.”

This was where he’d sunk his L2 reparations, into this piece of earth, though the house came after the war.  His neighbors weren’t ever sitting in his lap, exactly, but a fair number either hadn’t survived or hadn’t returned.  But the lack of people wasn’t the problem.  “It’s a planet.  It’s never going to be—”

Shepard stopped herself just in time.  But her startled guilty glance, at the near slip, said it all anyway.  His shoulders sank.  “Come inside.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

He put his arm around her and gave her a tug.  “Come inside.”

The door swung shut.  The main room was cozy in a hand-made sort of way.  Kaidan’s mother had sent a seemingly endless stream of crocheted blankets, which now hung off every chair back and piled across the couch.  Shepard made the metal-framed furniture herself in their own backyard.  Kaidan spent his free hours scouring local extranet ads for books, and a coffee maker, lamps, cushions, anything anyone was selling or trading in the mostly cashless post-war economy.  Earth could barely manufacture essentials, much less everyday comforts.

Now he walked over to the small corner defining their kitchen and lit the stove.  She hiked one of those blankets higher on her shoulders.  “What are you doing?”

“You’ll sleep better with something warm in you.”

She joined him, putting her hand on his hip, leaning towards his ear.  “I can think of something warm you could put in me.”

That got her a quick snort of a laugh, as she hoped.  “That just wakes you up more.”

But his brown eyes sparkled in the dim light of the slumbering house. 

She heaved a sigh, but pushed a lock of red hair behind her ear, and switched gears.  “Need a hand?”

Flirtatious interest turned to surprise.  “You want to help me cook.”

“Come on.  I haven’t boiled a pot dry in weeks.”  A touch defensive, but hell, she had been trying.  It wasn’t her fault she never had reason or opportunity to learn to cook.  At this point, her molecular composition verged on 100% military-issue freeze pack meals and MREs.

“That’s true.”  He jerked his head at the cabinet.  “Find me the coconut milk, and the stock.”

Kaidan’s kitchen staples came as something of a surprise.  Beer and bacon she expected.  His mother’s influence, not so much.  Not that she knew a whole lot about Thai food to start with.  “Where do you get this stuff?”

“My mom is friendly with every southeast Asian family in Vancouver.”

“Sure.  But… citrus?”

“You’d be surprised how many people keep a tree in their condo.  I’m negotiating for one, but nobody wants to give it up.”

“It’s just as well.”  She pulled out a box.  “I’ve killed every houseplant I’ve ever had.”

“You’re doing all right with the herb garden.”  Kaidan said it with a straight face, despite them both knowing he did most of the work, especially after he caught her burying leftovers in the dirt to fertilize it.  Gently, he explained about compost, but it still seemed like a load of middle-man work to her.  He also explained about raccoons, which she had to admit had the weight of evidence behind it, in the holes and broken plants they left behind.  But Shepard had learned to water and prune, even fuss over the plants, here and there.  They seemed to enjoy the attention.

What was the other thing?  Stock.  Right.  She opened the fridge and pulled out a plastic jug, the remains of a giant batch Kaidan made last week from all their vegetable scraps.  It had been an experiment, but somehow, all of Kaidan’s kitchen experiments seemed to work out. 

“Put that in the pot,” he said, pointing. 

She complied, with one raised eyebrow.  “Don’t you think this burner is up a little high?”

“It needs to reduce.”  He gave the pot an expert swirl and set it back down.  “We still have mushrooms?”

“I think so.”  They’d stored up too much in the lower drawer.  She sorted through the items.  “What’re we making?”

“Soup.”  He declined to elaborate, and began to slice the mushrooms.  “We’ll also need lemongrass, cilantro, and some of those tiny peppers from outside.”

“You’ll send me out in this cold?” she griped, but she was already reaching for the scissors. 

He put down the knife.  “It’s summer, Nathaly. It’s almost ten degrees outside.  And the garden’s right beside the back door.”

“Anything south of twenty is fucking frigid.”  Pulling the blanket tighter, she headed out.

The moonlight gilded the leaves in silver as Shepard sorted through the huddled plants, trying not to drop the blanket.  Cilantro reminded her of home, the first home she ever had.  Her grandmother grew bales of it in window boxes.  Bending to cut some, she might have been six again, and smiled to herself in spite of the cold.  Or maybe because of it— the Arizona desert took on its own chill at night.

Lemongrass was more foreign.  Its pungency stabbed through the air as she cut it near the dirt, gathering several stalks.  A side of Kaidan she hadn’t known, like the cooking, until recently.  Sure he fixed a few meals in the apartment, back when the apartment was habitable.  Seeing him now, it was clear he’d grown up watching his mother, and absorbed everything she had to teach.  That added new depth to her understanding of the damage BAaT did to his family.  It was easy to sense, lurking there even today, in every interaction between mother and son, but harder to interpret.

When she was done, she returned to the kitchen, and found he’d added tofu, galangal (not ginger, she reminded herself, firmly), the aforementioned limes plus some kaffir lime leaves he’d obtained god-knew-how, and fish sauce to the waiting ingredients.  He smiled as he heard the door shut. 

“Here you are.”  She dumped her handful of fresh produce beside his pile. 

“These look great.  Take this.”  He handed her the spoon.

Shepard held it like a dead mouse.  “Wait a minute—”

He took the lemongrass to the sink.  “Nope. This time, you cook, and I help.  Don’t worry, I’ll walk you through it.”

Everything about this read imminent disaster.  Kaidan noticed her frown, and pushed her arm towards the pot.  “Add the coconut milk.”

It trickled in, aided by her tentative stirring.  She put the spoon down.  “Kaidan, look, cooking… My biggest accomplishment is getting a microwave burrito thawed the whole way through without drying it out.  I know you want to do this whole domestic thing—”

He picked it up and put it back in her hand.  “I have never known you to admit defeat on anything.  What’s going on?  Talk to me.”

She stared into the pot, expressionless face flickering in the burner’s flame. 

Kaidan tried another tact.  “You’re not sleeping.  You barely eat.”

“I…”  She let the spoon go, and slumped over the stove, tiredly.  “I didn’t expect winning to feel like this.”

His face softened.  “That’s because we didn’t win.  We just beat the reapers.”

She brushed some of the hair out of her eyes.  He rubbed her shoulders, left a kiss on her neck.  “Let’s just make soup, ok?  Lemongrass is next.  Smash it first.”

The damp stalks left small puddles on the board as she ran the knife through them, and then upended it and brought the butt of the handle down on each piece, thump thump.  Then the same to the peppers.  The motion was almost comforting; Kaidan made this soup a lot.

Kaidan slid sliced galangal into the pot.  “Your turn.”

Picking up the lemongrass with the blade, Shepard watched it disappear into the white broth, only to bob back up again, filmed with coconut milk.  Already leeching all its intensity and leaving the herb softer, milder, spent; having sprouted and fought through the dirt to the sun, grown tall and proud, only to give up all it made to this.  Because she declared that this was its purpose and its end.

A fistful of bright leaves fluttered down over the lemongrass pieces.  Shepard started.  Kaidan’s brow furrowed, and he touched her arm.  “You sure you’re ok?”

“Yeah,” she said, distantly.  “I’m just tired.”

He watched her a few moments too long for comfort.  “Even the squirrels know that.”

It caught her off guard and she laughed, as he clearly hoped she would.  Just one chuckle.  But it helped. 

“Tofu and mushrooms next,” he prompted.  Shepard gathered them up and dumped them in.

She just about remembered to stir it every so often as they juiced limes and chopped cilantro.  To her endless gratitude, Kaidan took it back to finish it when it came off the burner; she never could get the amount of fish sauce just right.  Somehow, he’d gotten the rice cooker going while she messed with the soup, too.  She liked dumping it all into her bowl with the soup, a practice that never failed to earn her a look of mock-disappointment that was half the reason she kept doing it.

They settled on the couch.  For a few minutes, they ate in the quiet dark of the cabin, lined in moonlight, wrapped in blankets.  Shepard had spent all her life in motion.  Now she was trying to learn how to live with stillness.

The soup-soaked rice felt good in her mouth, something she could bite down on.  Something solid and warm in her stomach.  She hadn’t realized exactly how cold she’d gotten, or how hungry; each spoonful brought a little more color into the room. 

Kaidan sipped at his own bowl, smaller than hers, with a slight smile.  “Feel better?”

She looked down into her nearly-empty bowl, and back up at him.  “How did you know?”

“You skipped dinner.  And lunch.”  His tone just a little too light.  “This isn’t easy for me either, but regularly crashing your blood sugar isn’t helping.”

There was nothing to say to that.  “I don’t know what to do with myself up here.”

“Yeah.” He set his food aside and inched closer to her, settling his arm around her waist.  “You’ve got a stack of requests piling up.”

“Busy work,” she scoffed.

“There’s never going to be another reaper war, and that’s a good thing.”  He gave her a squeeze.  “You’ll just have to subsist without the adrenaline and cortisol, high blood pressure, constant small injuries, and all those other things.”

“Tomorrow.”  It was too complicated to unpack right now.  She set the empty bowl aside.

“Tomorrow,” Kaidan agreed, and pulled her to her feet.  “Now, let’s sleep.”

[annakie]

A Lot of Words about a Thing

This is a “I’m writing this out so next time someone asks I can just point them to this (or copy/paste) instead of having to type it again” thing.

I’ve been doing Hello Fresh for the last two or three months and I thought I’d talk about the ups and downs of it and if I’m going to keep doing it.  This is not an endorsement (which will be clear when you get to the overall middling scoring), but I will put a link at the bottom so we can both get a deal if you want to try it.

---------------

So anyway, I had been thinking about doing a meal kit for a long time but pulled the trigger on it back in... like Mid-January, I guess? 

the tl;dr of it all is that I like it and I’ll probably keep doing it for awhile, but it’s not for everyone, and is expensive for what it is, especially if you already know how to cook.

Before I started, I made myself sit down and write out a quick list of what I wanted to get out of trying a meal kit experience, so I’ll rate how successful or not each one of those things is.

First of all, I want to also say, I can already cook.  I’m a pretty good cook.  I can follow a recipe and improvise successfully when necessary usually.  One reason why a lot of people do a meal kit is because they need to learn how to cook and that definitely wasn’t me.

Also, they offer a variety of number and portions on meals to try.  I get three meals a week, with two portions a meal, which means I cook Hello Fresh for dinner one night, and usually the next night have the leftovers.  Friday night is usually “Yay You Made It To The Weekend, You Get To Order Takeout” night.  You can order for several more meals a week, and for up to four portions in each meal, if you want.

So on to the reasons why I decided to try HF, with a grading of how I feel about each one after trying.

Reason One: Try Something New

I was super excited at the beginning of the pandemic now working from home full time, because this was a great chance to really start trying some new recipes.  I had fallen into a pretty bad rut for awhile of some of the same frozen type meals or just making super easy things for dinner and sandwiches for lunch pre-pandemic.  Even though my commute was stupid easy I often felt too wiped at the end of the day to make like, real meals.  So when the pandemic hit and I was Home All The Time, for the first couple of months I was buying interesting ingredients (what I could get my hands on at the time) and really digging into making new and interesting things.  Even baking my own bread and bought some new kitchen gadgets like a pressure cooker to expand my repertoire. 

By like... the end of summer... well the good news was that I was still cooking and hadn’t fallen back to a packaged-food routine most of the time (though still some frozen pizzas or bags of pre-made Asian or Italian food you cook on the stovetop mostly for lunch) but also I had more or less found The Ten Things I Make (like Spaghetti, a great chicken and rice dish that is so good and makes about 6 meals worth of leftovers) and I was real tired of like, recipe hunting.  The most work I was then doing was finding new pressure cooker recipes and tbh almost all of what I was making was Chicken In Some Kind of Sauce Over Rice.  I was burned out.

So Hello Fresh... has been great for that.  I have only made the same thing a couple of times and those were only because i loved them so much the first time I wanted that thing again.  For the most part, I have tried just a ton of new things, including some ingredients I’ve never worked with before or really thought I wouldn’t like!  And I did!  I feel like I am often trying something I have never made before.

Reason 1.5: Variety

OK this is hand-in-hand with Something New but also slightly different.

Try Something New would be rated like a 4.5 out of 5 stars.... but some stars are taken away though, because a lot of their recipes are very similar.  For a protein, there’s like, chicken breasts, hamburger meat, pork chops, chicken sausage and pork sausage.  Occasionally steak.  Basically every meal will start with one of those things.... oh and I guess there’s like some fish choices, but I hate fish.  There’s also vegetarian options, which I have only occasionally gotten.  So within the variety, there’s a lot of similarities.

Also there are a lot of same ingredients in their recipes.  I have grated a lot of lemons and limes.  I have chopped up a lot of carrots, green onions, and potatoes (so many potatoes.)  I have consumed more sour cream than I ever have.  I have started looking for ways to add even a little more variety to the things that are often-repeats that they give you.  

But part of that is my fault -- I am mostly selecting items that I know I will like, or can modify to how I like.  There are a lot of veggie and fish-based choices I could pick up most weeks which I avoid. 

And almost everything I’ve ever made... I’d make again.  I save all the recipe cards so that someday when I don’t wanna do HF anymore, I will have all them all handy to make later.  The HF Subreddit also has a lot of resources like how to do their custom spice mixes, very handy.   There’s been maybe 3 things I’ve made which I’d say were Just Okay, but nothing I’d say that was bad.   And some of the ideas in this paragraph I talk about more, further down.

But also on the topic of “Variety” -- since every meal I make has two portions (occasionally I will stretch something to three) -- points are given back because I’m not “Making a huge pot of spaghetti that I eat for five meals in a row.”  So that’s good, even if it means more cooking overall.

So honestly, on Something New overall, I’ll give this like a 3.5 out of 5 stars, correcting up to 4 stars on a curve, since I strike entire categories of their offerings based on my own tastes.  They offer a pretty good variety of meals to select, and part of the problem here is my fault for hating All Seafood and not being thrilled with the vegetarian options (I also don’t feel like I’m getting my money’s worth without a protein) so there are a lot of meals re-using similar ingredients.   It slides back down to a 3.5 though when you factor in Reasons 3 & 4 below.

Reason Two: Kill Analysis Paralysis

A thing I found increasingly happening by the end of last year was analysis paralysis.  Especially as I started a new job where I’m much, much busier (but happier) in October.  I would find myself staring at the fact that I’d have to make the decision on What To Make For Dinner and dreading it more and more.  It wasn’t really the cooking I hated, but the deciding what to cook, which got me into the lack of variety rut.  More often than I’d like to admit I’d just make a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese or like... just... toast... for dinner because the decision-making part of my brain was tired... or out of spoons as the kids say these days.

This is maybe my favorite part of Hello Fresh overall.  Once every week or two I log onto HF, pick what I’m going to eat like... 5 or 6 weeks in the future, which I can do at a time when I have that decision-making energy, and forget about it.  Every Monday a box shows up on my doorstep, I see what nice things I picked out for myself several weeks ago, and the most I have to decide is which order I will make those things in.

So when it’s a “Make Dinner” day, I don’t have that “shit, I have to make a decision” feeling.  I already know because I pre-planned it back when I wasn’t at the end of a long workday.  It’s one of those small, dumb things that really really helps me mentally in an almost inexplicable way.  And I can feel better about myself because I didn’t eat something dumb for dinner.  And I still allow myself to make easy things for lunch, like a small frozen pizza, a sandwich and some chips, or hey, Kraft Dinner.  And sometimes I do make a big pot of Spaghetti or something that I love and will just have that for lunch every day for a week, and so I don’t have to feel like I’m always cooking.

And on Eat HF Leftovers For Dinner nights, that’s even better, because I have a tasty meal and it just had to get reheated in the microwave or stovetop.  Some meals are easy to half-prepare ahead of time on day one, and just do the last steps on leftover night the next night to have fresher dinner easily.

 Just 5 out of 5 stars here.  This is my favorite part.

Reason Three: Eat More Vegetables.

Uh, yeah, I’m terrible about eating veggies on my own.  The best I can do usually is buy a bag of mixed greens and try to have a side salad with dinner, or buy bags of frozen foods and hope they come with veggies I’d eat. 

So the good thing here, is that when HF sends me vegetables to make, if it’s a veggie I like, I’ll probably make it.

The big problem, though, is that there’s no substitutions.  And I’m still not gonna eat brussell sprouts or, broccoli, or mushrooms. I was a sport and tried making them (except the mushrooms) the first time I got recipes that used them as sides.  And nope... still cant.

But hey, I have done a lot better at eating more fresh green beans, and onions, and carrots, and peppers.  Though sometimes I just snack on the bell pepper instead of cooking it. Still, I call it a win.

I really, really wish I could trade out the side-dish vegetables I know I won’t eat for like, a small side salad, an apple, or hey, even just... carrots!  But nope, no substitutions. =\  I’d score this way better if we could do so.

Still, I’m doing better here, and overall, more vegetables are being eaten.  So, 3 out of 5 stars.

Reason Four: Waste Less Food

The amount of fruit and vegetables I’ve ordered and thrown away over the last year make me cringe.  I would order things with every intention of eating them and then just... not.  Oh yeah I need two lemons, an orange and two limes in case I make ____ recipe!  I need a new bag of baby carrots to snack on and make a side dish and cut into a salad! 

And then I maybe... maybe use half of that before it goes bad.

Probably less.  Because of the Analysis Paralysis and not trying new things.  You run into that problem where you don’t have the ingredients on hand to make a new thing so you can’t make a new thing... but then you buy them but forgot (crucial thing) so the thing still doesn’t get made.  Or you just... don’t plan when you’re gonna make the thing and by the time I’d be like “Oh yeah I should make something with those vegetables” they’d have already turned.

SO... I felt shitty throwing away so much produce, and loaves of bread, and other perishable food that got maybe half-eaten.  So much, for so long.  Yeah, I know I could do better with my meal planning, but it’s been one of those things I always vow to do, and then did not do that thing.

Doing HF has really made me re-evaluate what I buy as groceries, and I have cut way down on ordering unnecessary produce and perishables like bread.  Because I don’t really have to worry about dinner and am allowing myself to do easy lunches that don’t require real “cooking.”  So, overall I am definitely buying and tossing less food.

Also just as another quick note -- what also tends to get tossed out of my HF boxes is a “spicy ingredient”  But in some ways, this works in HF’s favor.  I don’t really like spicy foods.  A small amount of spice is OK but I’d rather just do without it in most things, sorry I’m that white girl.  Most “Spicy” HF meals get spicy by a spice blend, a packet of sriracha / hot sauce, or a jalapeno which they want you to cut up and include.  So whenever I see something that looks good but listed as “spicy”, I can check the ingredient list first and see what makes it spicy, If I think the thing still sounds good without the spicy part, I can order it.  So yeah, I’ll toss spicy ingredients, but that is 100% my choice and it makes things better because it gives me more variety to order those meals and still make it to my own taste.

Oh, and occasionally, the produce is just bad when you get it or not long after.  I haven’t had this problem often, mostly with ginger and garlic.  I do evaluate which meal has the most perishables when I get my box on Mondays and make those first.  Apparently you can call customer service if this happens for a small credit, but I just use pre-diced garlic or powdered ginger when this has happened to me.

So, this would be a 4.5 out of 5 except for... as discussed above... I end up tossing out HF vegetables on occasion I know I hate and won’t eat, and they won’t let me make substitutions. 

But also... cooking for myself... when I make a big batch of something that lasts 4 - 6 portions... more often than I’d like to admit, the last portion or two would never get eaten.  Sometimes I’d TELL myself I’d eat them in a week or so and freeze them only to throw it all away months later.

So let’s call this a 4 out of 5.  Overall, significantly less food waste with HF.

Reason Five: Save Time

I thought that doing HF would mean less prep-work and less time in the kitchen, especially with their easy-to-follow recipes and pre-measured ingredients.

So in that way, yes, time is saved, and it so again takes that mental load off in a lot of ways of not having to make all those pesky decisions.  The materials you’re working with and what you need to do are all Right There for you.  It’s really, nice.

As a side note, like I said I’m a good cook, and I haven’t had any problems following along anything I’ve made, but there were a few things I think are more of a moderate skill level and could be a little challenging for newcomers.  But then, I see people on the HF subreddit all the time saying they learned to cook with no skill and they find the recipes easy so... we’re good there.

However, Saving Time loses points for two big reasons:

First, I’m only making two portions of each meal.  Which, ok... this is my decision.  I could order four portions per meal.  But then... hey that’s taking big points away on the “variety” front. 

The Vegetable Chopping / prep work on a lot of the recipes often takes 10 - 20 minutes, depending on the number of fruits and veggies.  So yay for meeting Goal #3 (more veggies) even if it is balanced out by Goal #5.

And unfortunately, most meals end up taking up more dishes than I’d like to clean up (usually at least a pan and baking sheet, sometimes also a pot.  Plus knife, cutting board, tongs, stirring spoon, maybe a zester, etc.)  So no time is saved on cleanup, either.

Mostly where time is saved is having to pick out recipes and making sure you have/buy all the ingredients.  Not much is saved in the actual cooking.

I do, however, enjoy the time I spent cooking and the knowledge that I’m gonna make something good, so we’ll give it a bit back, there.

As a time saver, I’d give HF a 2.5 out of 5 stars.

Reason Six: Save Money

Y’all, Hello Fresh is expensive.  Honestly the #1 reason I re-evaluate whether I want to keep going with it every few weeks is the cost.  Even though I can afford it.

For basically six meals a week, I’m paying $63 for the food, plus $9 for the shipping.

Which means I’m paying $12 a meal.  For food I make myself.

Not cheap.  A luxury.

Where I don’t feel quite so bad about it is the fact that... for the most part, I am wasting a lot less food.  Except, as mentioned, when I can’t swap out vegetables I hate for something I’d actually eat.

So that makes it irk me even more when I am throwing out vegetables I really hate, because they’re expensive vegetables.

Also that price tag is motivation to make and eat every meal.

Overall, my grocery bills have gone down... honestly pretty significantly.  Because I’m not overbuying food!  Now, they haven’t gone down enough to even out the cost for Hello Fresh... I’m still probably spending about 50% more overall for each dinner now than I was before.

This isn’t a cost savings.  It’s an expense, but one I can afford.  And part of writing out this post is to remind myself to decide when the experience is no longer worth the expense.

1 out of 5 stars.

Reason Seven: Eat Better

I would like to challenge myself to define “Better” because that’s all I wrote down when I made the list.

Healthier?  Eeeehhhhhh.... maybe?  But not much.

Hello Fresh does offer lighter choices, and sometimes I pick those because they look good and are filled with things I will eat!

But I’m just as likely to pick the most calor-ific things on the menu.

HF also adds a lot of Sour Cream to their recipes, and encourage you to salt and butter your food liberally.  I try to cut down on some of this where I think it’s too much.  But sometimes there’s not much to cut out and still have the meal you ordered.

But also I’m not eating any worse calorie-wise than I was before, probably.  And overall I’m eating a lot more “real food” instead of “packaged food” and fast food than I was.... especially pre-pandemic.  And again, I AM eating a lot more vegetables, so.... that’s... better?

If I define better as Tastier, yeah, I’m doing pretty good in that regard, haha. 

So Better as in healthier: 2.5 of 5 stars.

Better as in tastier: 4 out of 5 stars.

Overall Scoring & Tips

Okay, overall that comes out to a 3.18 out of 5, which I’d round up to a 3.5... which is a pretty good score for how I feel about HF overall.  My current plan is to keep doing it until I go back to working in the office again, and re-evaluate.  For now, it works for me.

IF YOU WANT TO TRY IT, this is my referral link, you’ll get $70 off over a month’s worth of meals (so like, $20 or something off 3 boxes and $10 off the last one, something like that. 

I also have four “Free box” codes to give out, PM me if you want one of those.  I don’t think those are compatible with the $70 off link, but it might be a box of completely free food for you?  I don’t know how it works, but this may be the better deal?  PM me.

If you decide to go for it, here’s a few tips:

Every week or two, go in and choose your meals, don’t let HF choose for you unless you really don’t care.

Read the ingredient list and make sure there’s not too much stuff you don’t like coming in a meal.

The extras are pretty expensive and not really worth it.

Plan on each meal taking about 45 minutes to cook from start to finish including chopping vegetables.  Another 10 - 20 with cleanup depending if you have to handwash dishes or not.

Look for ways to make the meal healthier, especially if it encourages you to add more butter and salt near the end.  You probably do NOT need to do so.

Buy a decent pepper.  I love McCormick’s Peppercorn Medley pepper grinder.  Also sea salt grinder is my personal salt preference.

Add some of your own seasonings.  I buy a jar of pre-diced garlic (yes yes I know the criticisms of the stuff but it’s easy) and throw in a half tablespoon or so of that into a lot of recipes.  Also there are a lot of potatoes that they want you to just cook with olive oil, salt and pepper.  Throw some garlic or onion salt on them, or some Lawry’s Seasoning Salt or steak salt of your choice for some variety.

Your basic 2 quart pot, 8 - 12″ frying pan and cookie sheet, plus a cutting board, decent veggie knife, and typical kitchen utensil set are all you need.  However, a decent meat thermometer and a zester that collects the zest as you go are both highly recommended. 

A sieve and very small rice cooker have also been a lifesaver for making good rice that doesn’t get overcooked.

[everlock101]

Invisible

I recently received some compliments on this story so I decided to post here as well as fanfiction.net. This is just a fun little story I had in my head one day. Hope you like it.

I do not own any Flash characters.  

.........

Summary: Allie Allen has always felt invisible as Barry Allen’s sister. But two thieves may just alter her life in a big way. 

Being able to become invisible is perfectly fitting, I thought to myself as I watched Cisco, Caitlyn, and Wells fuss over Barry. He’d just fought against a metahuman that could control mechanical bees and Caitlin was worrying over him. 

Not me. Because I could create force fields and I hadn’t been stung so obviously I hadn’t been hurt. 

Except for my dislocated shoulder from where I’d been dropped from about fifteen feet up.   

It shouldn’t have surprised me that nothing had changed. Barry was the one who had seen our mother die. Barry was the one who was so smart. Barry was the one who had gotten the scholarships, who had always excelled, who had always been a go-getter. 

I just wasn’t like that. I’d been a straight C student, had gone to local community college and worked as a custodian for the university. I hadn’t been the one to have nightmares about our mother’s dead body.   

I trudged through the streets, cradling my injured arm, thinking that invisibility seemed moot since no one really noticed me anyway.  

Sure, I knew most people felt that way at some point in their lives and sure, I knew I would be missed if I ever did act on the dark thoughts that crept into my mind sometimes at night. 

But sometimes, the simple idea of nonexistence was really appealing to me.

Laughter broke me from my rather morbid thoughts. I glanced up to see Saints and Sinners and, seized with a reckless impulse, I walked inside. 

This definitely wasn't my scene. Everything was gritty and dark and a cloud of smoke seemed to hang over everything. I coughed and wound my way to the bar.

I wasn't dressed for bar-hopping either. I still wore the loose pants and wrinkled shirt I wore under my super suit. I ordered a drink and downed it, welcoming the numbing sensation in my arm. 

And then I heard their voices.

“Well well well, if it isn't Miss Allen,” I groaned quietly before I turned to see Snart and Rory plopping down on either side of me. Despite their criminal nature and the multiple attempts on my life and my brother’s, I actually felt surprisingly safe with Rory's bulk on one side and Snart's icy gaze on the other. 

“What do you want?” I asked tiredly as I downed my second shot. I waved for more. 

“To know what a pretty thing like you is doing in a place like this,” Snart continued, sipping his beer and gazing at me curiously.

“This ain't your scene, doll,” Rory added in a grumble. 

“How do you know?” I shot back. I finished three more shots in rapid succession and felt pleasantly buzzed. The alcohol made me feel warm and fuzzy and the pain in my arm was a distant memory. Fortunately, my powers hadn’t stripped away my ability to be drunk.

“Because you're a goody-two-shoes like your brother,” Rory grunted. I let out a derisive laugh. 

“Let's not bring up my brother,” I said darkly, polishing off another shot. 

“Touchy subject?” I didn't respond as I downed another drink. 

“What happened to your shoulder, kid?” Snart asked. I shrugged without thinking and let out a hiss as the pain flared back briefly. Suddenly, Rory’s hand landed on my dislocated shoulder. I winced. 

“Dislocated,” Rory grunted. Snart’s brow furrowed and he leaned in behind me to examine it. 

“I’m fine. I can take care of it,” I replied. 

“Take a deep breath,” Rory ordered. 

“Wha-” A second later, there was a crunch and pain flooded through my arm, shoulder, and chest. Snart’s hand clapped over my mouth and I screamed into it. 

I dropped my head on the bar as Rory let go of my arm. I breathed deeply for a few moments until the pain subsided to a dull throb.

“You’re a dick,” I groaned. 

“You’re welcome,” Rory shot back. Snart waved for some more shots and I eagerly downed another.   

…

An hour later, I hung off of Rory as Snart picked the lock on my door. I giggled.

“I'm so glad you know how to do that,” I slurred. “Finding my key sounds like a headache.” The door opened and Rory hauled me inside. I giggled again as my feet left the floor.

“Wheee!!” I laughed as Rory carried me through my small apartment to my bedroom. He sat me on my bed where I flopped back and blew hair from my face. 

Snart pulled off my shoes and Rory undid my braid, his hands surprisingly gentle for their size. Carefully, they maneuvered me out of my jacket and overshirt so I was left in my jeans and a tank top. 

I tried to think of the last time anyone had treated me so gently but couldn’t. Tears pricked my eyes as I thought of waking up to a cold, empty apartment and a cold empty life. 

My loneliness came swiftly, sweeping over me like a dark, heavy blanket. Tears dripped down my temples. 

“Kid?” Snart had asked me something. I just turned away from him. I didn't want them to see me cry. 

“Kid?” Snart’s voice softened and I felt a hand touch my hair. 

Rory came to my other side and touched my hand lightly. 

I blamed the alcohol.

All of it came out in a rush of choked tears. All the dreadful feelings of being perfectly completely invisible, even without my powers in the mix. I cried and cried until I felt empty but clean. 

“Please don't leave.” The words slipped from my tongue before I drifted off. 

…

I woke with a dull headache but I was warm and comfortable. I cracked open an eye. The room was dim which I was grateful for. Someone shifted in the bed beside me and I blushed, remembering what I had asked Mick Rory and Leonard Snart of all people. 

What was even stranger was that they had listened.

I looked over my shoulder to see the broad, bulky outline of Rory. He was still asleep, his warm breath fanning over my neck and shoulders. Snart was nowhere to be seen. 

I carefully got out of bed and left my room, stopping only to hit the bathroom quickly. 

Something smelled wonderful, coaxing me through the apartment. I stepped into the kitchen to see fresh croissants and double chocolate chunk muffins steaming on the counter.

Snart stood at the coffee maker, one of my Flash mugs held to his lips. He quirked an eyebrow at me over the cup and held out another steaming mug to me. I eagerly accepted the coffee and the aspirin he pushed my way. I took two pills, grabbed a chocolate muffin and leaned against the counter beside him.

It seemed terribly domestic; the two of us standing here in soft silence, drinking coffee and waiting for the morning to fully rise. It felt nice. Snart’s presence filled the little kitchen making the usual lonely room feel a bit brighter. I suddenly snorted. 

Snart, who seemed perfectly content to communicate nonverbally, quirked his eyebrow at me again. 

“I'm just imagining Barry or Joe's reaction if they walked in right now.” I laughed again but it was a bit bitter this time (they hadn't visited my apartment since I'd moved in) and Leonard snorted as well. 

Rory stumbled in, eyes still closed. He banged his hip against the counter but still managed to fumble his way to the third mug of coffee. He gave us a grunt of greeting before bumping his lips against Snart's in a short good morning kiss. I stared in amazement as Rory, a convicted arsonist/murderer/thief curled up on Snart's shoulder and Snart, convicted master thief and murderer let him, and drank his coffee.

“This is so weird.” 

…

When I returned home from work, I wasn’t expecting to step into the smell of chicken and rice. I sniffed curiously as I hung up my jacket and purse. 

I paused and just took in the scene that greeted me from my kitchen. Rory was crouched in front of my oven in flannel pajama bottoms and no shirt. Snart sat on my counter next to a rice cooker that definitely hadn’t come from my kitchen and sipped a Coke. 

“Aw, welcome home,” he greeted. Mick glanced over his burned shoulder at me. 

“Um, hi?” I dropped my keys into the little mason jar on the counter. 

“Mick’s making baked chicken with rice and we’ve got some mixed veggies in the microwave,” he explained. “Hope you like it.” 

“Sounds...great…” I blinked a few times as if expecting the scene to suddenly vanish. Snart just raised an eyebrow. 

“What? You asked us to stay.” I stared at him and felt my lips turn upward. 

The food was delicious. My powers, like Barry’s, required a lot of upkeep. I burned a lot more calories than before the accident even when I didn’t use my powers. 

I polished off my plate and eyed the last bit of rice and veggies. 

“You can have the rest,” Rory told me. I eagerly scooped them onto my plate and devoured them. I was still hungry and tried to think about what else might be in my fridge. 

“Are you still hungry?” Snart asked. I flushed. 

“I have to eat a lot to keep up my powers. Barry has to eat more though.” My jaw clicked shut. I was letting myself get too comfortable with criminals who had it out for my brother.

“How much a day?” Rory asked, sounding curious. I shrugged. 

“Well, I usually don’t eat enough so I can’t be sure.” Rory sat back tapping his fingers on the table, looking thoughtful. 

“Looks like you just gave Mick a challenge,” Snart chuckled. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Mick loves cooking. He’ll enjoy figuring out how much you need to eat.” I glanced between them hesitantly. 

“So...you two are...I mean...you’re gonna stick around.” I pushed the carrot around my plate. 

“What better way to learn about our enemy?’ My head jerked up but Rory and Snart both had amused glints in their eyes. I threw my napkin at them. 

....

We quickly settled into an routine. Rory and Snart slept over most nights, letting me know whenever they couldn’t make it over. It was easy to feel comfortable with them and I often worried that I was going to hell. 

But Rory’s cooking was probably worth it. He prepared huge meals, figuring out how much I needed to eat on a regular basis and what I liked to eat. They made me laugh and I felt more comfortable with them then I’d felt with Barry in years. 

...

The fight had been bad. A new meta-human had nearly killed Barry and me. 

“Barry?! Barry?! Are you alright!” Caitlin’s voice was the loudest but everyone was asking about Barry. I shut my comms off and walked away, not even having to turn invisible to avoid being noticed. 

I slumped into my apartment and sagged against the door. Everything just hurt: my three broken fingers, my fractured cheekbone, my dislocated knee, and every scrape, bump, and bruise.

“Doll?” I jerked upright then hissed in pain as my broken ribs twinged. Mick stood in the doorway to the kitchen holding a mixing bowl. He stared at me for a moment. 

“Len,” he called. Instantly, Len appeared from the living room. Worry filled his face as his eyes landed on me. He started forward and gently wrapped an arm around my waist. 

“Come on, sweetheart.” I almost wanted to cry as we started toward the living room. When Len saw how bad my limp was he simply scooped me up into a bridal hold. 

Len carried me into my bathroom and settled me on the closed toilet. Mick appeared a moment later with a first aid kit. 

“Ok, we’re going to get you out of this suit, sweetheart.” I nodded and let them maneuver me out of my ripped and blood stained clothes. My fractured wrist gave a particularly nasty twinge. 

“Who did this to you?” Mick demanded roughly. I looked up at him and realized that my left eye was beginning to swell shut. 

“Meta,” I mumbled. “Jeremy Briggs. He had super strength.” Mick nodded and exchanged an unreadable look with Len. 

I sat there in my undergarments as they worked in tandem to get my cleaned and patched up. Thankfully, they gave me some pain pills that worked quickly. 

“Alright, come here sweetheart.” Len scooped me back up after he had finished. Mick led us back into my bedroom and pulled some sleep clothes from my dresser. Carefully, gently, they got me into them and settled me into bed. They smoothed the blankets up over my chin. 

“Get some rest, doll,” Mick rumbled. I fumbled for their hands. 

“Please…” I swallowed the rest of my plea down nervously. They both just smiled. 

“I gotta clean up the kitchen,” Mick told me. 

“And then we’ll be back, alright sweetheart?” I nodded and Mick gave my uninjured hand a gentle squeeze. 

I dozed for a while, listening to them working in the kitchen. Finally, they returned wearing their own pajamas. I stirred as I felt them slipping into bed on either side of me. Their arms crossed over my waist. Len nuzzled his nose into my neck and I felt Mick press a warm kiss to my forehead. I sighed in contentment and easily slipped into sleep.

…

The next morning, I woke abruptly. I sat up, instantly looking for danger. My injuries all protested and I gasped, bending over. 

My bedroom door opened and Mick rushed to my side, helping me ease back into the pillows. My bed was empty. That’s what had woken me up. 

“Easy, doll. Easy.” 

“Where’d-where’d you go?” I gasped through my aching ribs. Mick brushed his fingers through my hair until I finally relaxed. 

“Len went out. I was just working on some food for ya.” My stomach clenched painfully. I hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday. Mick chuckled lightly. 

“I’ll be right back.” He kissed my forehead and slipped from my room. 

I adjusted myself up against the pillows. He returned a few moments later with a tray full of food and several cups of water and orange juice. 

He set the food on my nightstand before sitting beside me. 

“Open up,” he said with a teasing glint in his eyes. I smiled weakly as he bgean feeding me. Mick had planned well; preparing only soft foods like eggs and oatmeal and fresh toast. 

Eating helped me feel a lot better and I started getting out of bed. 

“Hey, what’re ya doin’?” Mick tried to push me back down but I batted his hands away and got to my feet. 

“I’m ok. I need to go to the bathroom.” Mick huffed as I started toward the toilet. 

When I returned from the bathroom, Len was talking with Mick. My brow furrowed as they quickly stopped when I walked into the room. 

“What evil plan are you two concocting?” I asked, with a small laugh. 

“What are you doing out of bed?” Len drawled. 

“I had to pee,” I huffed. Len pointed and I sighed, sliding back under the covers. Len sat beside me while Mick cleaned up my empty plates and took them to the kitchen. 

“How are you feeling?” Len asked quietly. I shrugged. My powers helped me heal faster than normal, but not quite as fast as Barry. 

“Not terrible. Really sore but I’m healing up, especially after eating.” Len nodded.

“Good.” Len reached out to touch my chin, his icy eyes carefully examining the healing bruises on my face. “Gave us a good scare there.” I chewed on my lip as his hand fell back to the bed. 

“Why?” I asked quietly. 

“In case you missed the past few months, we’ve invested a lot into keeping you alive.” He gave me a smirk and a wink. “We’d hate to see that go to waste.” I snorted.

…

Two days later, I heard Jeremy’s name on the news. Curious, I turned up the volume on my TV. 

“Jeremy Briggs, a recently captured meta-human, was found dead in his cell last night.” I turned it off and looked toward the kitchen where Mick and Len peeked out. I arched an eyebrow at them. They just looked back innocently and I rolled my eyes. 

...        

I wasn’t sure when I fell in love with them. But I knew when I realized it. 

It was just another day, seven months into this new routine. I woke and shuffled my way into the kitchen. It was Saturday and I’d slept in past even Mick and yet there was coffee and breakfast still waiting for me. I eagerly gulped the hot drink and started munching a doughnut before following the noise of the TV to the living room. 

Mick was lounging on my couch, his bare feet propped up on my coffee table, snoring lightly. Len lay across him, focused on the news playing on the TV. 

Suddenly, the doughnut stuck in my throat. They looked perfect here in my apartment. The idea of crawling under Len’s legs and curling up against Mick’s side with my coffee sounded so normal and amazing. 

My heart dropped to the floor and so did my coffee mug. The shattering sound startled Mick and Len and they both shot up, eyes roving wildly over the scene, always ready for danger. I inhaled sharply as my eyes began to burn. I pressed my now empty hands to my mouth (my doughnut had fallen as well) and clamped my jaw shut to seal in any sob that might escape me. 

Because it would be just my luck to fall for two people already in a committed relationship. With each other. 

“Kid?” Len asked. 

I bolted before he could say anything else. I yanked my purse and keys off their hook and ran outside, my bare feet skidding on the damp metal stairs. 

“Allie!” Len and Mick had apparently given chase. I nearly tripped as I hit the pavement and I felt something cut my foot. 

“Allie, stop!” They’d gotten closer. They were faster. I’d never make it to my car. 

I threw myself off anything that would make my footprints stand out and felt energy rush over me as I became invisible. I quickly stepped out of reach as Len and Mick came to a halt, their heads whipping from side to side. 

“Allie!?” They both began to call. I stuffed my wrist to my mouth to muffle my cries and hurried away. 

…

I ended up at the police station. I avoided Joe or Barry and managed to get into Singh’s office without being noticed. He was on the phone but his eyebrows furrowed when he saw me. I was sure I looked a mess with my red cheeks, bleeding feet, swollen eyes, and pajamas which included one of Mick’s shirts and some sleep shorts. 

“What happened to you kid?” Singh asked after hanging up. I trembled as I sank into a chair. He grabbed the first aid kit from his desk then came to patch up my feet. 

“It’s-it’s complicated,” I rasped. I shuddered with another sob and buried my face in my hands. Singh, thankfully, didn't ask any more questions, just finished patching me up, then patted my shoulder, and let me cry. 

…

Avoiding my own apartment was a nightmare. I’d never given them a key but Mick and Len didn’t need one, even if I changed the locks. So I pretended that my apartment’s laundry was broken and stayed at Joe’s. 

No one seemed to notice my misery. Something was up with the Reverse-Flash and no one had time for my pathetic little problems. I’d never spent much time doing the hero stuff so no one really noticed my absence. 

Apparently Len and Mick did though. There was evidence of them looking for me all over. They blew up my phone with calls and texts and when I’d asked Joe to take me to my apartment, I’d glimpsed them watching from down the block. 

But I couldn’t face them. I couldn’t bear it. It would be better this way. Eventually, they’d forget about me and I’d go back to being invisible to everyone. 

…

Two weeks passed in utter misery. Joe and Iris were gone all the time now to help Bear. I missed my brother. It hadn't been so bad when we were kids. He had helped me with my homework, gone on imaginary adventures with me. We'd had fun.

I missed him sometimes. 

….

The night was quiet except for the creaking of the house. I stared up at my ceiling too lethargic to do anything else. 

And then I heard something. A click that was out of place. I sat up and strained my ears. Nothing. I was about to go back to staring into the void when I heard a stair creak under the weight of a foot.

Instantly, I turned invisible and crept from my room. I knew the places to avoid so I was completely silent as I went to the top of the stairs.

A man in a ski mask was creeping up. I could see his gun glinting in the moonlight.

I tiptoed back to my room and dialed Joe's number.

"Joe, there's someone-" 

"I'm sorry, Allie. I'll call you back." The phone went dead and my heart seized. 

Ok. Ok. It's fine. You're invisible and you can create force fields. You're fine. 

I went back to my door and peeked out. The man was stuffing a silver figurine into his shoulder bag. I slipped out behind him, focusing on keeping myself invisible. 

Too focused.

My foot hit a loose board. The man whirled and I startled out of my invisibility. Before I could throw up any kind of defense, he raised the gun and fired. 

Being shot wasn't like the movies. The gun was much louder, making my ears ring. I didn't fly backward. Instead, it felt like the bullet just tore through me. There was a brief moment where everything seemed to slow and I just stared at the robber in shock. 

I toppled backward and everything sped up again. Footsteps pounded back down the stairs. I heard a commotion, what sounded like a fight, but the shock was settling in, cold and hard. 

A voice swam over me. I looked up into familiar eyes. 

"M-Mick?" 

"Stay still." Pain suddenly exploded through me as he pressed down on my wound. I screamed. Bright spots flashed over my vision. 

“Leonard!” Mick sounded...afraid. But that couldn’t be. Mick wasn’t afraid of anything. I heard footsteps, heavy breathing, voices, and then I just…

Faded.

…

I woke to a rather annoying beeping sound. I fumbled for my alarm, desperate for a few more minutes of sleep. 

Blazing pain shot down my arm. I sucked in a sharp breath. My eyes flew open as a warm hand caught mine. 

"Easy, easy doll," Mick rumbled. I blinked at him, slowly relaxing into the pillows, the pain fading away to a dull ache. Len appeared by his side, worry gleaming in his eyes. 

"Hey kid, you're gonna be ok," he told me. 

Tears filled my eyes. I was so tired of hurting, of being in danger, of fear. 

“Hey, hey,” Mick rumbled. His thumb swept over my cheeks. I continued to cry. I was wrung out, miserable from my revelation about loving the two men, and in pain again. My heart was too heavy. 

“We’ve got ya,” Mick grunted. “We’ve got ya.”

…

I was able to return home after a few days. None of my family members or friends, had returned my calls. None of them knew I was in the hospital. When Mick and Len finally drove me home, I felt numb and miserable. 

“Kid-” Len started but I just walked past them and into my bedroom. I shut the door and locked it. I knew they could pick the lock but I hoped they would give me my space. I buried myself under my blankets and cried some more. 

…

I finally shuffled out a few hours later, expecting Mick and Len to have cleared out. I wasn't expecting to see them asleep on my couch. I stared at them and couldn’t help but smile as Mick snored loudly. My smile dropped and I shuffled into the kitchen. There were Tupperware containers sitting on the counter with food. I plucked one open and began eating dully. 

“Kid?” I sighed and put my fork down. I turned around to see Leonard. “You should be resting.”

“I’m fine,” I groused. Len’s brow furrowed and Mick walked up to me. I tensed as he reached for me. He let his hand drop. 

“What’s wrong, dollface? Other than the injured wing?” I sighed and pressed my palms to the cool countertop. 

“I love you.” The words slipped from my mouth quietly. “Both of you and I’m tired. I’m tired of hurting and I’m tired of being afraid and I’m tired of hiding how I feel from you both. I’m in love with you both and I know that you two are together and that we can’t be-” 

Mick kissed me. I sucked in a sharp breath as his large, warm hand came to cup my neck. My eyes fluttered shut. Leonard’s cool fingers brushed hair from my neck and then his lips brushed over my pulse. I trembled as they pulled away. I blinked rapidly and looked at them. Both of them smirked at me. 

“What were you saying?” Len asked. I could only stare at them. Mick leaned in and began kissing my throat, giving Len a chance to kiss me properly. 

“Wait,” I mumbled, pushing away from them only barely. “Does this mean…” Len rolled his eyes and Mick grunted. 

“Yeah, dollface.” Sparkles of warmth flooded my blood. I let out a watery yet happy giggle before kissing them again. 

[burnedbyshoto]

Welcome Home

todoroki shouto x new mom!reader

warnings: just fluff

word count: 2,272

A/N: I accidentally deleted the ask....requesting this....and I was almost done with it...and because it was 4 a.m. and im blind, I pressed delete instead of edit...and I didn’t have it saved anywhere...so I actually cried about that but hey, I wrote it again anyways!!! so sorry anon about that, I hope you find this

Part One  Part Three  Part Four

Shouto sat on the couch, gently rocking Kaito’s cradle as he attempted to put him to bed. A soft lullaby left his lips as he sang in an attempt to get Kaito to sleep so he could do something around the house.

You weren’t home at the moment; being that it was two weeks until you were expected to get back onto the field; you were spending the mass majority of your time training with friends and at the gym. Shouto honestly did not mind a single bit, as he was on paternity leave from his own agency, as he sat at home alone with Kaito. Midoriya and Uraraka have been over earlier and had helped to clean up the Todoroki’s slightly messy house as the new parents struggled to maintain their usual cleanliness with the baby now here.

Peering into the basket, Shouto was happy to see that Kaito was now knocked out. Standing up, Shouto made his way over to the kitchen to start preparing dinner for you and him. Being that you were working diligently and “Plus Ultra,” to get back onto the field, you had been following a really strict diet that had been personally created for your use. Today’s dinner outline was grilled lean lime chicken, a cup of vegetables, and a scoop of steamed rice. Normally the two of you cooked together, seeing that it was an enjoyable thing to do together, and was a nice way to end the day. But with these intense workouts that were making you come home exhausted, Shouto ensured having the meal ready when you stepped foot into the house.

As Shouto prepared the meal, his eyes fell onto a picture frame by the sink, and he smiled in memory. It was the same picture that Hagakure had sent through the chat, framed and placed in your house. When you had woken up and seen the picture, you had begged Shouto to get it in an actual frame, and Shouto who was whipped for you did just that.

Shouto smiled again as he remembered what it was like bringing Kaito back home the first night he was released from the hospital.

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

You were exhausted, to say the least. You had returned from the hospital in diapers because your uterus was still shedding its layers off and it just reminded you of a period but way worse. You watched as Shouto glanced at you through the rearview mirror, joy, and mirth in his eyes as you gently stroked your baby’s cheek.

You brushed the fiery red wisps of hair Kaito had into a similar fashion of Shouto’s high school haircut and smiled, by gene selection, you wished more than anything else that Kaito would resemble his father more than you. You wanted your son to be nearly identical to your husband.

“I’m going to put the bags in, wait for me to help you take out Kaito?” Shouto says as he pulled into the driveway of your house, but exits the car before you can disagree with him.

You watched in amusement and Shouto took in five huge bags with ease only to fumble with unlocking the door. You opened the car door, and unbuckled, groaning as you scooted out of the seat. Who knew post-pregnancy was almost as bad on the body as pregnancy?

Shouto’s hand appeared from nowhere as he steadied you to your feet and he studied your face as you winced, he kissed you softly, “Welcome home.”

You laugh as you can’t help but bring him down for another kiss, “It’s good to be back.”

Shouto grabs the car seat where Kaito is knocked out, and with a hand firmly pressed onto your lower back helps you into the house.

Shouto helps you onto the couch, and you sigh gratefully as he places the car seat next to you, and you take the initiative to get Kaito out. You snuggle your red-headed baby boy into your body as your husband walks around the house putting things away and preparing anything that hasn’t been finished three days ago.

“Shoucchan,” You call out as Shouto now only seems to be pacing, “I think you should take Kaito on a tour of the house.”

You watched as Shouto hesitated as he always did when you wanted him to grab Kaito, but nevertheless, you smiled warmly as Shouto walked over and took Kaito from you.

Thus your two boys embarked on a journey around the house. Shouto went to every room in the house, explaining what the room was, it’s purpose, and whether mama or papa designed it. “And we’re back to the living room,” Shouto whispers as baby Kaito opens his eyes, “It’s the room where mama relaxes the most, but we designed it together, shocking huh.”

Adjusting the support to Kaito’s head, Shouto can’t help but stare into his son's eyes that are identical to your own e/c and shape. Shouto can’t help but think that beyond anything, he wishes that Kaito will take on after you completely even if he inherited the Todoroki hair color. His thoughts were interrupted as he felt you press your body against his.

Shouto looks down at you, and you peer up at him lovingly, “I love you two, more than anything else in this world.” You whisper as the two of your lips are sealed together again. “Welcome home, baby Kaito.”

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

Recalling the memory makes Shouto smile softly as he looks around at what he’s cooking. He puts lids over the pots and walks away from the stove for a second, that is until he hears Kaito’s screams of unhappiness from the living room. Checking the time, Shouto realizes that it’s time to feed Kaito and that you’ll be home in thirty minutes.

Grabbing on of the many milk bottles you had left in preparation for your son from the fridge, Shouto warmed it up in seconds with his quirk before heading over to Kaito. Picking up his squirming son, Shouto managed to put the bottle into his mouth and watched in amazement as his tiny son finished the bottle in mere seconds. “Well someone was hungry,” Shouto speaks as he wipes away the slobbered milk leftover of Kaito’s cheeks with a cloth.

Shouto cradles Kaito into his chest and holds him close just before he catches a whiff of Kaito’s foul-smelling diaper. Humming to distract himself from his natural instinct to gag, Shouto calmly stood up and walked over to the kitchen and left the stove on the lowest of settings, and switched the rice cooker to keep warm before heading over to the nursery.

As Shouto changed the gurgling baby, he caught the eye of the baby monitor and smiled as he remembered another memory with Kaito.

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

Being a new mother had its plenty of perks, but by far the worst part of having a newborn was the fact that it cried through the night constantly. At only two weeks old, it was too early to force Kaito to sleep through the night, so despite the fact, you had accumulated a grand total of fifteen hours this past week, the sharp wails of Kaito had you shooting up from slumber.

You were so tired.

Since you normally slept entangled with Shouto, he was always awake when you went to calm down Kaito and always accompanied you to get your guy's son to calm down enough to sleep.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Shouto says as he pulls your body down back onto the bed, his own person getting out of bed, “I’ll get Kaito, sleep, you need to rest more especially since you’re starting training.”

Despite the fact you wanted to follow your husband to your son's room, you found you couldn’t move, so instead you grabbed your baby monitor and watched through the night vision camera as Shouto walked in, rubbing his eyes. 

Kaito was screaming his head off, demanding attention as Shouto picked him out of the crib and held him closely. So you lay in bed, watching your husband gently rocking your son back and forward all while the monitor was picking up the conversation Shouto was having with Kaito which made your insides melt.

“You know Kaito-chan,” You heard Shouto whisper as the baby lay his head on Shouto’s shoulder, light whines leaving his mouth as he refused to sleep, “You’re being really mean to your mama. She’s really tired nowadays, and your drama queen actions keep her up.” You watch as Shouto places a few pats on Kaito’s butt who was loving the attention.

“The thing is,” Shouto continued at his normal whisper, “I love your mama more than anything in this world, and you of course, but your mama is my everything. I’m telling you this now so that in the future if you ever get mad at me for defending and siding with your stubborn mama, it isn’t because I don’t love you as much as her, but your mama means so so much to me. The both of you do... so come on Kaito-chan, let’s go to sleep now.”

You couldn’t resist wiping the tears that had fallen down your face after hearing your husbands loving words, you blamed the stupid hormones. You continued watching until Kaito had fallen back asleep and you quickly put the monitor down as you fell back onto the bed, pretending to be asleep.

Shouto crawled back into bed, wrapping you up in his arms, and you cracked shuffling around to see him staring at you with the warmest look. “Were you listening, stalker?” He asks you, knowing the answer.

“Just making sure you weren’t turning my baby boy against me.” You whisper back teasingly.

“Sorry, y/n, but we Todoroki men are total mama’s boys.”

The two of you laugh together quietly but you can’t resist it anymore as you plant your lips on his, feeling the most awake you’ve been these past few days as he kissed you back with the same vigor. You smiled into the kiss as Shouto’s hands guided you until you were straddling his lap.

“Are you trying to bed me weeks after I gave birth to your son?!” You asked with amusement in your eyes as you broke the kiss from his mouth, trailing kisses down Shouto’s neck, his head tilting to allow you more room.

“I can’t help it, I’m really into new mothers.” Shouto teases back as his hands roam your body before grasping your hips tightly, only to be interrupted by a sharp cry coming from Kaito’s room. 

You groan slightly as you flop onto your back, “I think he doesn’t like me touching his mama.” Shouto states as you laugh before the two of you get up to get the crying baby.

⋆✭⋆✭⋆⋆✭⋆✭⋆

After finishing changing Kaito’s diaper, Shouto returned to the kitchen with the baby in arms.

“Chicken,” Shouto said as Kaito pointed out towards the cooking chicken. He pointed to the vegetables, “Vegetables.”

Kaito smiled a gummy smile and Shouto smiled back pressing a kiss on his son’s cheek. Shouto looked at his phone when a text message alarm went off and saw a text from you:

running late! sorry! I couldn’t find my water bottle for the life of me ((spoiler alert it was in my hand the entire time I searched for it)) on my way home! don’t miss me too much ;) love you!!

Shouto chuckled at the message, your entire pregnancy fog brain was apparently still in effect, but he did not dismay as he set up plates for dinner, putting on the portions you required and put tin foil on it before placing it in the oven to keep warm.

Glancing at Kaito who was now sleepily closing his eyes, Shouto adjusted his grip on his son, “Let’s go take a nap while we wait for mama to get home?”

When you got home, you greeted the quiet house with your now usual whisper; just in case Kaito was asleep. You saw that the living room was empty, as was the kitchen, and you frowned. Shouto was still home, right?

Placing your gym bag by the couch, you walked to the bedrooms and saw that Kaito’s room was empty. “Shoucchan?” You called out as you headed to your room.

You opened your room door and paused in the door frame as you saw Shouto and Kaito sleeping on the bed. Kaito was curled up into Shouto’s side, whereas Shouto had a heavy hand on Kaito’s body to keep him from moving accidentally. You pulled out your phone and took a picture of your sleeping boys.

Kaito then woke up, his bed head resembling fire lit upon his head and you picked up your son from his fathers grasp. “Did you keep papa busy today, Kaito-chan?” You whisper to Kaito who was snuggled into your neck. “You little brat!” You turn your back to Shouto as you sway slowly with Kaito in your arms. 

Arms wrap around your waist and you look up to see Shouto burying his face into your free shoulder, and once more you feel content and safe as you meet each other for a kiss.

“Welcome home.” He whispers.

“I’m home.”

no bonus todaaaaay, sorry! but I hope you enjoyed this short scenario anyways! pregnancy, in theory, seems so nice, but I would literally burn the house down if I had a baby to take care of uwu but thats all for now folks :D

[jadekitty777]

Baker’s Dozen, Part 1

Oh my god we are at the home stretch and I am still amazed I managed to do all eight days. This is a two-parter, so the second chapter will be up tomorrow.

Day 7: First Morning @taiqrowweek

Rating: K

Words: 6,000

Summary: When a desperate escape from fans leaves Qrow seeking shelter in a nearby restaurant, he expects little of the rundown, failing business that offers him a table. One bite is all it takes to change his mind. [Actor and Chef AU]

Ao3 Link: Baker’s Dozen

~

Early Saturday afternoon found downtown L.A. bustling with traffic on the sidewalks and the road. Qrow found himself in the heart of Pershing Square, lying on the grass and enjoying the midday sun beaming down on him, wondering why he didn’t do this more often.

“Oh my god! Qrow Branwen?!”

His eyes shot open, seeing a small gaggle of women hurrying his way as every head within earshot turned to look right at him.

Oh right.

That was why.

He shot to his feet, yelling over his shoulder as he sprinted away, “Sorry! No autographs today!”

He thanked whatever gods might be out there that his last role forced him to stay in excellent shape, because he was easily able to outdistance his pursuers. Unfortunately, as he skirted around the foot traffic, their yells only seemed to be attracting more attention his way. He ever spotted one desperate teenager pulling a phone from her purse.

He was about to be all over Instagram, wasn’t he?

Knowing this called for every actor’s Superman disguise, Qrow pulled his sunglasses from his pocket, shoving them onto his face as he took the first alleyway he could find. Coming out on the other side, he slowed his pace to a fast walk, lowering his head to avoid further detection and slipped into the doorway of one of the businesses a few doors down before the other crowd could catch up.

He sighed, grateful for the dark atmosphere inside the building as he pulled out his phone. Alright, time to call his driver and get out of dodge.

“Table for one?” The question had him jerking around, seeing a young woman in a cowboy getup smiling his way from a little podium. Her golden hair was particularly eye catching, long and untamed in a way that reminded him of his twin sister’s. Her name tag, which was in the shape of a star, read ‘Yang’.

He took in the environment around her, noticing the array of booths and tables that made up the majority of the room, and realized he’d ducked right into a restaurant. “Uh, no sorry I uh-” He started to say, only to trail off as he actually considered it. Why the hell not? It wasn’t like he’d eaten, and it would take his driver about the same time to get there when having to slog through the weekend traffic. “I mean, yeah, just me. Can I get a booth as isolated as possible?”

“You got it!” Yang agreed, picking up one of the menus and leading him to a booth in the back. He couldn’t help but notice she even had spurs on her boots that clanked when she walked. The walls were decorated with a similar Texan flair, bull horns and deer antlers interspaced with paintings of farm homes and woodland creatures and metal lone stars. How quaint.

Despite the aesthetics though, it was obvious from the minute he sat down and the bench creaked loudly, that upkeep wasn’t a priority. Or, he reassessed as he took note of the lack of patrons despite it being the lunch hour, it probably just wasn’t in the budget. That probably wasn’t a promising sign on the quality for his upcoming meal.

“Ruby will be with you soon.” Yang said, setting the menu before him. The cover had the name ‘The Dragon’s Den’ proudly printed across it. Wait, that wasn’t southern. Did he somehow run all the way to Chinatown instead?

“Uh, thanks.” He flipped the menu, but with the lighting so low, he couldn’t read the finer script. He pulled off his sunglasses, setting them on the table before looking through his options. Despite the slightly confused name, everything within seemed pretty par for the course; roast beef, fried chicken, catfish, and a large array of barbequed meats that any Tramp off the street would gladly steal for his Lady.

“Howdy there, can I get you started w- Oh my god!”

Ah, shit.

He looked up, seeing yet another starstruck gaze aimed at him by a petite girl in a similar get up to the hostess but was a few years younger – was she even old enough to work here?

He held up his hand in a desperate attempt to ward off any screaming. “Kid, I swear to give you the best tip of your life if you keep quiet.”

His waitress pressed her notepad against her mouth, a muffled squeak escaping around it. After a moment, she took a breath, then lowered the notepad slightly to reveal a sly smile. “I’ll make sure Yang seats any customers far away from you if you promise me an autograph and a picture too.”

He snorted. What a devious little brat! He could appreciate that. “Deal.”

“Hehe, yes!” She gave a little hop before quickly composing herself, placing her pen to the page. “Alright stranger that I’ve never met and do not know the name of, what would you like to drink?”

“Don’t oversell it kid. And water’s fine.”

“Coming right up!” She scurried away. He watched her detour towards the front, dragging the blond woman to the back where they disappeared behind a set of swinging double doors.

He counted down from five in his head.

“EEEEEEEEEEEE!” Came two screams from the kitchen.

Right on cue.

“OUT! BOTH OF YOU, OUT!!” Was the next shout he heard, the tone definitely masculine.

Yang came back out first, her gaze lingering his way before she hurried away, giggling all the while. Ruby was next, setting a glass of water on his table along with a straw.

“Your drink, mon-sir.”

He laughed. “Did you mean monsieur?”

“Yeah, that one!” She giggled good-naturedly. Despite the fact she was an obvious fangirl, he found himself taking a liking to her.

“Heard a bit of yelling back there.” He gestured towards the doorway.

“Yeah, dad just thinks we’re being dumb. He doesn’t believe you’re out here.”

Dad? Well, that might explain why it seemed this rustic establishment was getting away with breaking child labor laws. “Eh, it’s probably better that way anyways.” Kids were cute; but adults fawning over him was always a little weird, especially if they were around his age.

“He wouldn’t know how to appreciate the moment anyways.”  Ruby clacked her heels together, spurs chiming when she did. “So were you ready to order or did you want a few minutes?”

He glanced down towards the menu. He wasn’t really used to food like this. Growing up, his dad would favor getting the rice cooker going rather than tend to the BBQ gathering dust outside. As for now, his career tended to call for strict dietery needs depending on what shape he needed to be in for each role – none of which ever called for anything steeped so heavily in grease and fat. “Any suggestions?”

“Ooo,” She tapped her chin with her pen thoughtfully. “Well dad just took out the kolaches a half hour ago, so those are extra good right now.”

The question was out of his mouth before he could think to fake it, “What’s a kolach?”

“Oh, it’s a Texas thing. Basically, it’s a pasty with filling. Today’s strawberry, which is my favorite.”

“Trying to sell me dessert before the main course?”

“Well yeah! That’s like the highlight of being an adult, right? When I move out, that’s how I’m gonna do it.” Ruby said proudly. “But if you want to be all traditional about it, then by far dad’s best dish is the country-fried steak.”

He knew what that dish was at least. Steak fried in batter and slathered in gravy. It sounded like a heart attack on a plate. He closed the menu decisively, handing it to her. “I’ll take your word for it.”

“Great!” She quickly wrote it down.

As the girl hurried over to go place his order, Qrow took the opportunity to look up the address and text it to An. ‘Pick me up in forty-five?’

‘Certainly sir.’ She replied.

He had just switched back to his browser, when Ruby came back, setting a small plate in front of him. The Kolach was about the size of a cookie, with a breading cooked to a nice golden brown and the bright red strawberry filling dusted over with powdered sugar.

“Here you go! The best dessert you’ll ever have.” She proclaimed.

It certainly looked good, but it wouldn’t have anything on his mother’s Ichigo Daifuku. “Maybe second greatest kiddo.”

Ruby looked about ready to defend her dessert’s honor when a call of ‘waiter’ had her drawing back. “Um, gotta go. Enjoy!”

Picking up the pastry, Qrow turned his attention back to his phone. He eyed the 2.9 rating the restaurant had on Yelp, his stomach turning with trepidation as he took his first bite. The outer crust had a nice crunch but the inner dough was fluffy and light, with a hint of butter. The sweetness also hit with less punch than he was expecting, the strawberry standing mostly on its own with only the sugar on top adding to it. Just the way he liked it.

He was right, it didn’t out beat the Daifuku… but it was pretty close.

As he polished it off, he pulled up the reviews, scanning through them.

‘Great food but the decor is just awful. Pretty sure the place hasn’t had an upgrade since the 70s.’

‘Nice staff but everyone looks like they should be operating out of a western drama.’

‘Terrible! The kid waiting on me didn’t even look fifteen. She was super clumsy too. Dropped a whole cup of BBQ right on my sweater. When I demanded to speak to the owner about it, the hostess gave me attitude about how he was too busy and called ME a blowhard! What a circus show! Never coming back!’

‘The food’s amazing, but the wait times are ridiculous. Forty-five minutes for a rack of ribs? Is there only one cook back there?’

And on they went. Complaints about the location, the confusing name, more on wait time and the staff. But, beyond a few issues on the food arriving too cold, there was nothing but stellar compliments for the taste. He lent back in his seat, hearing it give another dying groan. He watched Yang sit another table of five while Ruby bustled about to get their drinks. Eyed his crumb-dusted plate, realizing the treat was probably offered to him because someone hungry was more likely to notice the wait for the main course. What a sad state. Apparently great food but poor management and lack of funds to fix anything. The place probably wasn’t going to last another year.

Ruby was all smiles when she came back to him, clearing his dish. “So, did you like it?”

“It was excellent, just like you promised.” Qrow told her honestly. For a split second, he almost let that be the end of it all. To just have his meal and leave, forgetting all about the reviews that foreshadowed the Dragon Den’s closure and the innocent kid whose family would be facing thousands of dollars in debt.

Instead he found himself strangely invested. Perhaps it was just human curiosity or pure boredom, but whatever it was, something made him lean forward, cross his arms over the table and ask, “So Ruby, you said your dad’s the one cooking, but who runs the place?”

“He does.”

He arched a brow. “He’s the owner and the chef? And he makes his kids work here?”

She shifted on her feet. “Uh well, I only help out on weekends and maybe a weekday here or there when dad really needs me. Yang’s got it real bad tho. She has to rush from her classes at Cal State to here five times a week.”

As the suspicion niggled at the back of his mind, he almost asked, but figured the deliberate omission about the whereabouts of their mother was all the answer he needed.

“There’s no other waiters?” He asked instead.

“No, we’ve got a few part timers, just not enough for a full day. Dad keeps saying when business picks back up he’ll hire a few more and a new chef too but,” Ruby averted her gaze. “That was a year ago.”

“What happened?” He pressed.

She shook her head. “We kept losing staff and now I just think he’s too busy. He sometimes doesn’t even come home. He’ll just sleep at one of the tables and then be up for the next day.”

“He’s here every day? From open to close?”

“Yeah.”

He whistled low between his teeth, placing his palm under his chin. He’d had some rough shoots over the years, but at least he had the solace of taking breaks. “Wow. That’s awful. And I bet a teenager like you hates having to work when you’d rather be at home playing video games.”

“Oh, no. I don’t mind.” Ruby refuted, before amending shortly after, “Uh well, most times, at least. Jerky customers kind of ruin my day. But otherwise, it’s okay.”

He had a feeling it was anything but. “You sure ‘bout that?”

“Yeah. I mean, when we first moved here, this place was dad’s dream.” She waved vaguely in the air as if to encompass the little establishment. “He always loved making people happy by cooking for them. Even when I was a kid he’d tell me that the gift of a good meal is the smile on someone’s face when they eat it.” She faced him, resolute and steady. “I know it’s important to him, so if I can help him keep this place by working here every now and again, then that’s just what I’ll do.”

He studied her carefully, but nothing he could see seemed imply she was lying in any way. It was a value he could certainly respect, as he and his sister had grown up being told the importance of caring for and respecting their elders. But living in America taught him that not all families operated this way. It was surprising, but uplifting, to see it here. “That’s rather admirable of you.”

Before they could say more, a hiss of ‘Ruby!’ drew her up short, and then Yang was sidling over, an impressive stack of plates balanced precariously along her left arm. “Table 3 needs their check before they bounce on us.”

“Oh right.” She paused, just long enough to place the pastry dish on top of her sister’s already full load with an overly sweet smile.

Once his waitress had left, Qrow said, “Guess I’m distracting her.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised. You can distract half the nation.” Yang replied. “Must be awful, never having enough privacy.”

He shrugged it off, as if he hadn’t sprinted several blocks twenty minutes ago. “Comes with the business.”

“Well, I’d hate it. I get enough attention as it is.” She shifted some of the weight on her arm.

“Ah, what? You’re the total heartthrob in school or something?” He could see that. She had other assets that matched Raven’s – and he remembered how often that had the boys trailing after her like stray dogs desperate for affection.

“Or something.” She echoed vaguely. “I’m going to go check on your meal.”

It was only as she turned away, he noticed her right hand as it caught the faint light from above. The shine to the skin too bright to be natural and its immobility too revealing that the limb was anything but real.  

Or something indeed.

God, maybe he should pitch a show because this was starting to feel like a classic TV sitcom. A single dad, running a failing restaurant and just struggling to get by to provide for his two kids, one of whom was disabled and the other was sacrificing the last of her childhood. Ruby, with her boundless optimism, would be the star of course. Yang would be the sassy, fiery-tempered co-host. Their dad would be a bumbling fool with a heart of gold. It would either top the charts or fail after the first season.

Not having much else to do as he waited, he texted the inane thought off to his agent.

Your writing leaves a lot to be desired. Stick to acting Qrow. Willow ordered.

He chuckled silently, replying: Is this why you gave your daughters such icy names? Because they were born from someone so cold?

Watch your tongue Branwen or I’ll tell Tommy Wiseau you want to co-star with him.

Ouch, I’ve got freezerburn.

I’m again questioning why I work with you.

You love me. He sent an obnoxious amount of kiss emojis along with it just to really annoy her.

She sent back swords. Ah, she was the best.  

He decided to leave her alone, switching over to one of his racing game apps and immersing himself in the competition. Every now and again, he’d catch sight of the girls in the corner of his eye. Ruby taking orders and checking on customers. Yang fetching refills or cleaning up. His red Alpine racer was just passing the finish line of the second race when Ruby was coming back.

“Here you go, the best meal in the house.” She set down the dish before him. It was an excellent presentation, like it came right out of a cooking magazine. The fry-battered steak was a light, golden brown, slathered with a brownish-white, peppered gravy. A generous helping of fluffy, buttery mashed potatoes and bright yellow corn, both flecked with more pepper, completed the meal. All of it was framed by the plate with its dark blue flower trim that made the colors pop and really sold the southern charm.

“Thanks kiddo.” He said, feeling his stomach grumble.

“Enjoy!” She hesitated, adding in a small rush, “Just um, call me if you need me!”

He unrolled his utensils as she hurried away, shaking his head. She was probably hoping he’d call her every five minutes, just so she’d have more of an excuse to talk to him. Poor kid probably thought she was missing the opportunity of a lifetime. He didn’t let it bother him. After all, everyone who’s ever sat down with an interview with him knew he was a terrible conversationalist.

He cut down into the steak, finding it came apart easily and was perfectly cooked through. He dripped the bottom in the gravy, twisted it around on his fork, said a silent prayer to his arteries, and took the first bite.

Oh.

Oh.

Holy Mother of Mary.

The fried breading crunched nicely but the steak practically melted into his mouth, combining with the gravy and a series of spices he couldn’t even begin to name but knew it was doing something wonderful to his taste buds.

He hummed happily. It was good. It was beyond good. As he cut another piece and took another bite, finding it as delectable as the last, he still couldn’t believe it. There was just no way anything could be this delicious.

He was over three-quarters of the way through the steak by the time Ruby came to check on him.

“Sooo,” She glanced at his plate then to him, smirking, “You like it, don’t you?”

“Don’t look so smug.” Qrow replied halfheartedly, stuffing another forkful in his mouth and hearing her fading giggle.

He didn’t get it though; with food like this, the place should be packed. If people could wait in line to get his autograph for six hours, then why couldn’t they wait a measly half hour for an incredible meal?

“Hey kid.” He said when Ruby came back around again, this time to collect his empty plate.

“Yeah?”

“We still got to take your picture. Any chance I can give my compliments to the chef while we’re at it?”

“If Yang can be in it too, you got yourself a deal.”

He chuckled. Should have expected that. “You got it.”

“Eeeee!” She squealed, hopping in excitement. “Okay, okay, let’s go now!”

He obliged, finding it hard to move at first. Wow, he was stuffed. He managed to follow Ruby to the back, seeing her wave her sister over before he was led through the double doors.

Walking into the kitchen was like walking backstage on a set – wherein the stage was just a collection of pieces meant to play their positions and what was behind the curtain was where the magic truly happened to bring it all together. But instead of sound design and lights, it was sizzling grills and knives chopping down. And instead of half a dozen people rushing about, there was only one. He was mincing up an onion with a swift finesse only the best of chefs had while singing along with a cassette player that was peddling out country tunes.

“It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you nooow.”

Singing badly, Qrow thought, cringing inwardly.

“Dad, no!” Ruby cried. Not even looking their way, the man just continued on, more loudly and off-key then before.

“Oh god, please smite me.” Yang groaned as she walked in, hiding her face in her hand.

Her sister raced across the room, pulling at his sleeve, hissing insistently. “Dad, we have company.”

“Meaning I have an audience that actually appreciates my performance?” His laughter was hearty as he peered over her head. The cutting stopped immediately. “U-Uhh…” Was all he managed to splutter before looking down at his daughter. “Uh?!”

“Told you he was here.” She said in a know-it-all sort of tone.

Used to this, Qrow just cleared his throat, introducing himself even if it felt a bit arbitrary. “Qrow Branwen. A pleasure to meet you.”

The man didn’t reply straight away, still taken aback by his very presence – or perhaps, from the faint lines of panic crinkling his brow, weighing over the fact he’d just served a celebrity without actually knowing it. Whatever it was, he seemed to catch his bearings, setting down his knife and crossing the kitchen. As he introduced himself in turn, he held out his hand, “Believe me, pleasure’s all mine. Name’s Taiyang Xiao Long.”

Xiao Long? Strange, he didn’t appear to have any Chinese in him, which likely meant he was married into the surname. At least now he really understood the restaurant’s title. Qrow shook his hand, surprised by the strong grip. He could feel the calluses built onto his hands from years of using cooking utensils.

“I apologize,” Taiyang said as he pulled back. “Had I taken my daughter’s word for it, I would have offered you a meal more extravagant. Or at the very least, some good wine.”

He had to keep himself from chuckling at the way Ruby stuck out her tongue at her dad’s back. “That’s alright. If I’m being honest, that was one of the finest meals I’ve had in quite some time.”

The chef’s cheeks turned a little rosy but his smile was just like his daughter’s, toothy and bright. “That’s mighty kind of you to say.” Heh, cute. He even talked like the aesthetic.

Before they could converse more, the ringing of a timer drew Taiyang’s attention. “Ah, pardon me.” He hurried to the stove, pausing only long enough to wash his hands.

“Sooooo,” Ruby stretched out the word as she slid back over, pulling out her phone. “Picture?”

“Wait, hold on!” Yang ripped off her hat, finger-combing through her golden locks. “Does my hair look okay?”

Her sister gave her a thumb’s up. “Like a rat’s nest. So yes- Ack!” She got smacked in the face with the hat.

“Girls, don’t be bothering him like that.” Their father chastised, stirring something in a large pot.

“We’re not!” Yang claimed.

He shook his head, but it was hard to tell if it was at her or at the soup he was tasting. “Really Mr. Branwen, you don’t have to.”

Ruby looked scandalized. “What?!”

“He owes us. I kept all the other customers away from him.” His eldest explained.

His head whipped around. “That’s worse! A man shouldn’t have to pay for his privacy!” As he pulled down some spices, he continued, “What you two ought to be doing is just appreciating the moment.”

“Oh, that’s a wonderful idea dad. Now if only I had something to capture it with and keep it forever. Oh wait!” Ruby waved around her phone violently. “I DO!”

Unable to hold it in anymore, Qrow started to laugh. He was right; they would make a good sitcom. “It’s been a long time since I’ve met such interesting people.” He addressed the chef, “It’s alright, really. I did promise them.”

Taiyang opened his mouth to protest further, but another timer went off – how many did he have? – so he just said, “To each his own I suppose.” Before he turned to go check something in the oven.

Taking the opportunity for what it was, he held up his arms. “Alright, bring it in ladies.”

Ruby tossed her own hat next to Yang’s, giggling as his arm came around her shoulders. Yang was a little more uncomfortable, so he let his hand rest on her shoulder, above where he assumed her arm ended, and felt her relax almost instantly.

“Okay, 3, 2, 1!” They all smiled widely as the camera shutter clicked. They pulled away and Ruby looked it over to make sure it was good, before squealing happily. “Oh gosh it’s perfect! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“You’re – oof! – welcome.” He huffed out when she nearly tackled him with a hug. He pat her back. “Now, I believe I promised an autograph too?”

She grinned hugely. “Right, yes!” She grabbed Yang, “Come on we got to find something for him to sign!” The two hurried to a small office, and he caught Ruby saying, “He could even sign your arm!”

“You think?” Yang’s voice faded to the background, overtaken by a loud sizzling.

As Qrow came as close as he dared, Taiyang said, “Thank you for this. You really made their year.” He was stirring the onion he had minced earlier around a nice heap of melting butter in a hot pan.

“Like I said, it’s fine.” He echoed.

“Still, it’s appreciated.” The burner was flipped off and the pan taken from the heat, but the onions continued to sauté.  “‘Fraid I can’t offer you much in compensation though, beyond giving you your meal free.”

He tilted his head. “Can you afford that?”

“Really, I insist. As they say, happiness is priceless.” Was the curt reply.

Only the rich say that. He scoffed at the obvious farce – not that Taiyang noticed as he turned away to attend to something else. Subtlety by words had never been his strong suit, and it wouldn’t be in the next five minutes either. So, he cut to the chase, “Listen bud, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I know everything, but it’s pretty obvious from the state of this place to the lack of non-relative employees, that you’re not exactly in good standing.”

“An astute observation, but I don’t believe you needed to bring up all that just to make a case to pay for your meal.” He was back to chopping – this time, potatoes. Stubborn as a mule was a term invented for this guy, wasn’t it?

“It wasn’t.” Qrow assured. “It was a case to buy your restaurant.”

The knife chopped down so hard, it went right into the wood. Taiyang turned around to stare at him. A clatter to their left caught Qrow’s attention. The girls were both standing just outside of the office, the things they’d brought for him to sign now strewn across the ground.

No one spoke.

A beeping filled the air, and still no one spoke.

“Uh. Timer?” He said, awkwardly.

Taiyang seemed to blink out of whatever daze he was in. He came forward, almost aggressively enough that Qrow tried not to shrink back, but the other man only reached over his shoulder to turn off the timer, side-eyeing him as he walked away.

“Really?” Ruby’s small but hopeful voice shook the tense air.

Yang’s was more suspicious. “You do know you’re buying a failing business, right?”

He offered the duo a smile. “Won’t be failing when I’m done with it. This place just needs a bit of sprucing up. More staff. Maybe a new location-”

Slam! Went a cooking sheet on the countertop.

“No.” Taiyang said rigidly.

Unperturbed, Qrow carried on. “Alright, no new location. Kind of a bad move but I can work with that. But the name has got to-”

“Stop.” He commanded. “Do not treat me like a fool. I may not have grown up here, but I learned rather quickly that folks around here will do a lot for 15 minutes of fame. I will not allow you to do the same to my family.”

“What, dad-!” Yang started

“Can’t you just-!” Ruby spoke over her.

“Quiet, both of you!” He bellowed, before turning his back to them, grabbing some tongs to turn the racks of ribs around a bit more aggressively then needed. “The answer is no, and that’s final. Now, I will thank you kindly to take your empty offer and walk it out the door.”

When the girls started to raise protest again, Qrow was the one to silence them this time, raising a finger to his lips, before he took a few steps closer to the chef. “Believe me when I say the offer is not empty. Your daughter over there tells me how much this place meant to you when you first got it, but now you’re letting it rot under your feet. Is that really how you want it to go out?” The other man’s jaw clenched and he refused to look at him. He took that as a good sign, reaching out to place a tentative hand on his shoulder. “Let me help you and your family.”

For his efforts, a set of tongs were shoved so close to his face, they almost touched his nose.

Behind the makeshift weapon, Taiyang’s eyes bored into his own. He spoke steady and sharp, “Mr. Branwen, I will say this once and only once. I have put everything I got, my entire heart and soul, into this restaurant. It is the only thing I have for my girls and I am NOT about to gamble it away on some publicity stunt to stroke a rich man’s ego. So, you ask me to believe you? Then come back with a lawyer and a contract full of terms we both agree on, as I will settle for nothing less. Am I understood?”

The storm brewing in those blue eyes didn’t intimidate him, because this close, he could see the dark circles etching a deep exhaustion around them. The mark of a person desperate and at the end of their rope. Despite only knowing him for a few minutes, Qrow could tell that he was a good man, as well as aggravatingly hardheaded.

“Got it.” He told him, reaching into his pocket to fetch his shades. “I’ll see you in a few days then.”

As he pulled them on and turned away, he thought perhaps he heard Tai give some biting remark about how tomorrow, perhaps he’d be offered the moon. But he didn’t let it faze him. Instead, he crossed over to where the girls still stood, frozen – but unlike their father, they did nothing to hide the tentative hope on their faces.

Qrow lent down, fetching the sharpie and two sheets of paper, using a nearby counter to pen out the autographs. He even took the time to add his signature calligraphy, making the tail of the Q look like a feather. He offered each one in turn, “Ruby, Yang. Thank you for the pleasant experience.”

Yang was slow to take hers, as if she might say something. In the end she only thanked him.

Contrastingly, Ruby’s vibrancy was back, an almost nervous energy pitching her tone as she quickly offered to walk him to the door. It didn’t take him long to figure out why, as she hid her face in her treasured autograph and groaned. “I’m sorry about my dad. He’s just so, so, embarrassing!”

“He’s not so bad.” He refuted, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Against his fingertips, he felt the buzz from his phone signaling an incoming message – no doubt An letting him know she’d arrived. “He’s playing it smart. Even I don’t do a job without a contract.”

“Still, he could have been more polite.”

Her tone allowed no argument, so he didn’t bother to tell her that for him, it was actually a refreshing change of pace. He had all sorts of people tripping over themselves to fawn at his feet and, while some celebrities ate up all that attention, Qrow had certainly never been one of them. It was nice being talked to like an equal – a privilege often reserved only to his closest coworkers and manager.

There was also just something so honestly genuine about Tai. Call it simple intuition, but he knew what it took to play all sorts of characters and he could say without a doubt that the blond wouldn’t be able to fool a preschooler if he tried. He was the kind of man who hid nothing and wore his emotions right on his sleeve.

Qrow, who shuttered his behind fake smiles and sunglasses all day, could really appreciate a quality like that.

“It was really amazing to meet you.” Ruby said as she pulled open the front door for him. “Like, as in the-best-thing-to-ever-happen-to-me amazing.”

“You’re setting the standard pretty high there, considering it won’t be the last time you see me.” Qrow said, stepping outside.

Her expression lifted, her youth seeing to shine through in her eyes. “You mean, you’re really coming back? Ever after dad was, well, a total jerkwad?”

“Well, you know what they say. You feed a crow once, and it’ll come back to roost.” He pulled down his sunglasses, enough to wink at her. “See you ‘round kiddo.”

“Y-Yeah! See you! Thank you so much, Mr. Branwen!”

He was pretty sure she waved after his car long after it left the street.

~

Three days would pass before Qrow would return to the Dragon’s Den. Like a knight readying for battle, he stood in front of the door over an hour before opening time.

When Tai finally arrived, he almost dropped his keys in the gutter at the mere sight of him.

“Why hello thar pardner.” Qrow drawled, tipping an imaginary hat. “Fancy meeting you here.”

For a moment, he just stared blankly. But finally, a snort escaped him. “You need to do more westerns if that’s the best you got, pardner.” He stepped forward, adding more softly, “You, came back.”

He nodded. “’Fraid I don’t have the moon to offer you, but I got the next best thing.”

Taking his cue, the gentlemen standing nearby fixed up his tie and strode forward. “Mr. Xiao Long? I’m Hei Xiong. I work in property management. It’s my understanding Mr. Branwen here would like to strike a deal with you.”

“Does he now?” That same bite Qrow’d heard in the kitchen was back, the blonde’s hackles already raised. Not missing a beat, Hei ruffled through a few papers in his folder, pulling out the top one to show him. Tai read it aloud. “Claim of co-ownership?”

“Yes. Mr. Branwen is interested in becoming your business partner.” The manager supplied.

“…Does he now?” He echoed as he looked towards Qrow, but the fiery attitude he’d expelled like a shield had doused some.

“We would be happy to discuss it in more detail this morning, if you’ve available?” Hei asked.

Anticipation held Qrow’s breath and anxiety jumped his heart as he waited for the other man’s response.

For the second time, he was rewarded with another of Tai’s bright and toothy grins. “I certainly am.” He stepped past them both and opened the door to the Den. “Please come in.”

[thevintagebluebird]

Unpinned - Seared Fish with Creamed Kale and Leeks

Hello everyone - it’s been a minute. And Allan has been frequently playing NPR podcasts out loud. So hey! Welcome to the end of the longest winter ever to exist! We made it! I lost my energy to cook for a while there but I’m slowly getting back into it, usually sans instructions - I also subscribed to the NY Times and so now y’all are getting a newspaper recipe. We’re full adulting now. Buckle up.

Seared Fish with Creamed Kale and Leeks! Ah crap, I’ve just realize this is two NY Times recipes in a row. I promise the next one will be a handwritten recipe straight from my grandma. She just bought me a new safety mandolin and things are about to get LIT in my kitchen as a result. Safely. Anyway.

Verdict: Is the Pintrest photo complete bullshit? Yes. But to be fair, this was a complete struggle meal for me that I did not adequately prepare for and I used freakin’ frozen cod so like what did I expect.

Is it crazy expensive/time consuming/confusing? I classify the NY Times recipes as ‘intermediate’; I found this to have what felt like more steps than necessary, and took a while. It wasn’t too expensive except that kale and leeks are on my shopping list maybe once every five years, and non-frozen fish would’ve been well worth the money.

Does it taste good? YEAH. Way better than it had any right to taste. You’ll understand why later.

Seared Fish with Creamed Kale and Leeks

INGREDIENTS

4 (5- to 6-ounce) Arctic char or other mild fish fillets, such as salmon

Kosher salt and black pepper

1 ½ pounds curly kale

3 tablespoons unsalted butter

1 large leek (about 1/2 pound), trimmed, white and pale greens quartered lengthwise then thinly sliced

6 large fresh thyme sprigs

3 garlic cloves, minced

1 cup heavy cream

1 ½ teaspoons Dijon mustard

1 teaspoon chicken or vegetable stock concentrate, like Better Than Bouillion

Cooked white rice or pearl couscous, warmed, for serving

2 tablespoons olive oil

Prepare your fish: Pat the fish dry, then salt the skin side to help draw out moisture. Set on a plate and refrigerate, uncovered.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high. Prepare your kale: Pull the leaves off the stems and tear leaves into bite-size pieces. Wash vigorously, drain, then set aside.

In a medium saucepan, melt the butter over medium. Add the leek, thyme and garlic, season with salt and pepper, and cook, stirring frequently, until soft, about 7 minutes.

Stir in the cream and bring to a boil over high. Continue to cook on high until thickened, about 5 minutes. Using a fine-mesh sieve set over a liquid measuring cup or small bowl, strain the sauce, pressing to extract as much liquid as possible. (You should have about 1/2 cup sauce.) Set aside the solids and return the sauce to the saucepan. Whisk in the mustard and stock concentrate, and season with salt and pepper. Cover and set aside.

Discard the thyme sprigs and stir the cooked leek mixture into cooked rice, if desired. Season to taste with salt and pepper.

Once the sauce is done, blanch the kale in the boiling water until just wilted, about 2 minutes. Transfer to a colander to drain and rinse under cold water. Once cool enough to handle, squeeze out the excess liquid. Add to the strained cream, then season with salt and pepper. Cover, and warm over low, stirring occasionally.

Cook the fish: Heat the oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high. Pat the fish dry a second time, then season the skin with pepper, and the flesh with salt and pepper. Add to the hot oil, skin-side down, and cook until the skin is crispy and golden, about 3 to 4 minutes. Carefully flip the fish and cook until the outside starts to turn golden, but the thickest part of the fish is still slightly translucent, about 3 minutes.

Divide the rice (if using), creamed kale and fish among plates and serve immediately.

So here’s what you need! Sort of! You’ll notice I have store brand yellow mustard instead of dijon, coconut milk instead of cream, frozen cod instead of fresh char, no fresh thyme, and I forgot to photograph my (brown not white) rice. Like I said, this one was an unprepared-for struggle.

Our beloved, trusty, 15 year old CVS rice cooker. Hasn’t failed me yet. 

My sous chef rushing to help get the dishes unloaded so I can have some space in our new kitchen! It has counters mounted facing each other with just enough room for a Rew and an Allan to get precisely in each other’s way.

Do the ‘ol cold water dethaw on your bland fish. You couldn’t even remember to thaw the fish properly. You probably don’t deserve to be attempting a NY Times recipe. What were you thinking.

Pretend you have any idea how to make kale edible. The stem seems hard so shred the leafy bits off? The smug smile is a lie.

This kale will be edible right?! Definitely not curly, definitely not as much as the recipe called for.

Leeks! I actually LOVE leeks, I just never interacted with them growing up and don’t really understand which parts you’re supposed to chop/cook/eat and which are meant to be tossed. It’s easy with a carrot - cut off the green and eat the orange. But leeks are just ombre gradients of green then suddenly white? We eat it all? Are some parts better than others? How much is TOO much leek? Special appearance in the background by fancy chocolates from Salem.

Pardon my blurry photos, it is way past time for a new phone. They look like veggie clipped toenails. Delicious.

Ok now it’s time to share my real shame: my coconut milk had spoiled. I did not have any cream. I did not have any real milk. I frantically googled different cream replacements, NONE of which I had the ingredients for. So I made this absolute abomination. It is (forgive me): vanilla greek low-fat yogurt whipped into plain almond milk with a little bit of melted butter stirred in. It smelled like frosting gone bad.

OH WELL IN IT GOES. Things got vaguely...creamy. <eyebrow waggle>

Then it tells you to squeeze all the cream out of your beautiful leeks. Easier said than done. This process was messy and resulted in WAY less liquid than I had hoped - if I’d used real cream I would’ve just...added more. Instead I had leek-flavored vanilla greek yogurt almond juice. DO definitely save the leek bits for your rice!

Pour your pathetic amount of leek yogurt juice back into the pan and desecrate it with flippin’ yellow mustard and boullion. Push down the despair. Make sure to do this while hangry at like 9pm.

“Blanche” your kale, aka give it a day at the sauna. Boiling water for just two minutes then squeeze the ever loving heck out of it. Everything you’re cooking for this recipe ends up with tiny portions WHY.

YUM! Go mix your leek leftovers into your rice. Next time maybe just make leek leftovers and rice and skip everything else? At least this time you started the rice first, good job!

Mix the mustard yogurt juice with your wet leaves. How did all those ingredients shrink so damn much? You are so hungry.

Cook your fish. Remember at the very end you were supposed to, y’know, SEASON it. Absolute amatur hour over here.

Your warm wet leaf goo! It actually smells very good. This is my smallest saucepan, if that gives you any sense of what a tiny portion this made. Thank goodness for leeky rice.

Aaaaaaaaand plated! I told you it didn’t look anything like the Pintrest photo. It was promptly inhaled and while I know hunger is the best seasoning, Allan also agreed it was tasty despite him not liking any of the individual ingredients!

Final final verdict: I don’t have a ton of fish/seafood recipes in my repertoire, so I’m keeping this one around for now but would tackle it again with more kale and double the sauce ingredients, as well as, y’know CREAM and FRESH FISH. But for what a Frankenstein’s monster I made of it, it was pretty good! 

[chaoticgabby]

My Cheap & Relatively Healthy Grocery List for College Students

Context: I had been used to eating fast food so much because it was cheap that when I went to the doctors' they said I had high glucose content. That wasnt good. So I started eating healthier. Anyway let's skip the BS and get straight into it:

Ramen: the OG cheap food. I personally don't own ramen bc I dont like it that much, but if you want to save money this is the meal, at least add an egg or some veggies to make it healthier.

Frozen Veggies: anywhere from 50 cents to a dollar or two a bag. Can easily be kept in your freezer (if you have one) for months

Mac n' cheese: my all-time favorite. Of course, it might not be healthy for everyone to eat pasta all the time, but I do it anyway. Add some real cheese and spices for taste or chicken and veggies in it / on the side.

Other Pasta boxes (Pasta Roni, Velveeta, Hamburger Helper, etc.): basically as cheap or almost as cheap as Kraft macaroni, but maybe you arent a fan of mac n cheese.

Soup (Soup!!): Cambell's Tomato soup is often $1 a can. I like to eat mine with grilled cheese. Thats a whole ass meal. But of course you can get other soups just as cheap. Basically, any canned foods.

Canned foods & veggies: this one goes without saying. Although, the better options are sometimes $2 to $3 the same can be said for frozen veggies, but just heat these up and cook them in fried rice or just add butter and eat them aside a nice entré

Chunk light tuna: speaking of canned foods, canned tuna is soooo cheap and is a great option (if you even like tuna). Dont actually get the "pack tuna" for $1 a pack unless you want to keep it in your bag bc canned tuna is around 60 cents a can. Mix it with Miracle Whip (or mayo) and spread it over break for a good sammich.

Grilled cheese (or cheese toastie if you arent American I think??): similar to previous options, youre getting your cheese and your butter and your bread. Not as healthy as other options but way better than fast food calories.

Quesadillas: similar to grilled cheese, except spICY. My brother only eats these and he has no meal plan. I do it now too. Honestly, adding up tortillas, cheese dip, shredded cheese, & chicken is kind of costly but worth it. Also cooking chicken is annoying bc I dont have time for that. But. Yknow. A great option.

Pillsbury Crescents: a little costly, about $2+ per tube, but still fookin delicious. Also imma be real: actually havent checked the nutrition label to see if these are actually healthy. But these are sO useful. Make them by themselves for breakfast (with jam, eggs, or alone) or use the dough for other recipes. I use these with Manwich sauce, cheese, and ground beef for snacks :)

Manwiches: manwich sauce cans are $1 and although they have some sugar, its not nearly as bad as fast food. Just cook up some ground beef to go with it & maybe add cheese, sliced bread, or hamburger buns

PB&J: Another OG. I could never get tired of these. You just gotta make sure you have soft bread and the pb&j and youre good to go. Although..like.. some people apparently like theirs toasted or with different jams (I like strawberry).

Eggs!!!! : Just keep these in your fridge. Just do it. You never know when youre going to run out of food. Boiled? Scrambled? Fried? Soft boiled? With ramen? Omelet? In fried rice? Egg sandwich??? Eat them with bread, eat them with toast, eat them as a breakfast sandwich, scramble them with cheese, the list goes on. If you dont eat them often, get a smaller carton, but always have eggs! Also, for baking.

Rice, or fried rice: If you like rice, have been cooking rice for a long time, and can actually make it without burning, make sure you have rice. If you like rice but have never actually made it yourself, it takes trial and error in a pot. Or just invest in a rice cooker. Additionally, fried rice is not that difficult to learn & it fits the bill for healthy bc you can add unlimited veggies and meats. Im not here to educated you but the more ingredients, the better, is how i see it.

Fresh Food:

Fruit: I literally have "an apple a day" for breakfast. It's just good for you. Keep them in your fridge to keep them fresh. Keep one in your bag in case you get hungry. Bananas? Awesome! Use them in smoothies or a milkshake or eat them with your cereal or even with peanut butter. Possibilities are endless with fruit. Just make sure they dont spoil. Apples are OG bc they dont spoil as easily.

Vegetables: Make sure to only periodically get them so that they dont go to waste. Make some broccoli with butter & eat it alongside pasta. Or asparagus. Anything you want. Just make sure to have some with your meals sometimes. Greens are good. Additionally, carrots can get addicting if yoh eat them with ranch. The plus side is they are filling. If you have a tendency to want to munch on something: carrots.

Deli Meat / Sandwich Options: I personally dont make deli sandwiches because ham (as well as roast beef or turkey) can be expensive and then wanting to add lettuce and tomato to a sandwich sounds amazing but I'm scared they will spoil. Dont let me stop you though! Sandwiches are amazing.

Meat: you dont want to be cooking meat all the time bc it can get expensive, but the basics I always get are ground beef and chicken. I prefer "boneless skinless chicken thigh fillets" but you would need to cut off the fat. You could always get rotisserie if you arent feeling to for cooking. Also, if you're feeling expensive one week, salmon is just sooo good. I ate it with asparagus and seasoned with lemon. Delicious.

Snack / Dessert Options:

(I personally don't keep snacks or dessert in my home very often bc you dont want to binge eat. But here is what I have)

Peanut butter: classic, filling, can be potentially bad if you eat a shite ton

Nuts: peanuts, almonds, cashews, and especially pecans

Cookies: make your own, a lot of simple cookie recipes exist and it's a lot easier than you think. Baking essentials like flour, sugar, milk, and eggs are not that expensive to keep around in an apartment kitchen. Difficulties may be vanilla extract (the avg student doesnt have this lying around) a baking sheet, a big bowl, and possible a whisk. Store bought cookie dough isnt too bad either.

Box-cakes / box-brownies: simple and easy. Takes a few eggs sometimes and some oil, milk or water. The same goes for pancake mix. Honestly, I had an out-of-country roommate and he had never heard of boxed cake mix or brownie mix. They always made from scratch where he lived.

Low-calorie ice cream: okay ice cream can be pretty expensive and filled w/ added sugars. I used to eat this strawberry icecream sweetened with stevia and it was SO delicious, but I couldnt find that at my grocery store. Other options are "low-calorie" ice cream or "no added sugars" ice cream. I have one of these and the thing abt it is that its just the right amount of sugar to taste like ice cream and the neat thing is that you dont feel like binging it bc it doesnt have addicting added sugars.

Milkshakes / smoothies: this is a tough one bc me and most other students dont own a blender or juicer. I personally get my smoothies from a local smoothie place that only uses fresh fruit and then I ask not to add the natural sugars bc it is sweet enough with the fruit. Natural smoothies are delicious & I find that you can kind of make then if u freeze your fruits and blend w a fork. "Handmade" milkshakes are actually super easy w this method.

Yogurt: just...mmm.

"Healthy" snack food section, often called the gluten-free aisle: im not too experienced with this and im sure they have added sugars too but what I do know is I tried these gluten free oreos once and they were delicious

Fruits: I mentioned earlier but apples are great snacks

Veggies: also like I said earlier, carrots are great snacks. Not exactly a veggie but possibly potatoes for a meal or snack.

Granola Bars: for when youre too lazy to keep up with fruit and if fruit will spoil, granola bars (they healthy kind, not the chewy sugary kind) are so good to have in your pantry or keep in your backpack for a snack (and to keep you from on campus temptations). Also I used Nature Valley ones instead of cereal. They actually dissolve and are delicious with milk, since some cereals are so sugary.

Since my last college tips post got some notes I figured I'd keep writing these advice posts. For reference, I am hoping to become an RA next year at my college, so I'm not just speaking out of my ass. I generally have experience at college thus far and want to help students.

[hecallsmehischild]

On Losing Weight

Recently I was asked a question that prompted me to pull together all the information I could remember about how my husband, Sergey, and I have been eating over the last few years. We both struggle very much with food and have been trying to do better by our bodies for a long time, but are wary of all the diets and fads. This post has details about what we’ve tried to date and what has worked for us. Most of it is written by me. At the end, Sergey wrote a few paragraphs also. Very long post under the cut.

Disclaimers and a few generalities

One thing about eating and weight loss is that accountability really helps. However, I’ve found personally that even if everyone in your family means well, accountability partners should not be within the family. The main reason I've found is that there's too much baggage with any family member (with the potential exception of your marriage partner) for accountability to ever go well and function as it should. Resentment, triggers, irritation, even accidental shaming crops up because of old baggage and derails everything. You need accountability with someone who you don’t carry a lot of baggage with, because there’s often a huge emotional component to eating.

It takes a LONG time to lose large amounts of weight. You can lose five to ten pounds relatively quickly, but often your body will stabilize on the new number and then you may find it very hard to get lower for months, so continuing to try new things is helpful.

You will yo-yo between 3 and 5 pounds all the time. That is standard. So think in five pound increments in any direction, because your bodyweight is constantly in flux over a few pounds. For this reason, weighing once a week is a lot more accurate than weighing every day and will cause a lot less despair and frustration.

We are not vegetarians at all. We cannot offer any thoughts on a vegetarian diet.

Whatever you do, food-wise, has to be part of your ordinary life. Short term diets set you up to fail. Changing your lifestyle is what will produce long-lasting changes.

Also, some of the things my husband and I try, in some ways, appears to walk the line of eating disorder. I’m watching it very closely with that in mind, and I still don’t think it falls into the trap. Sergey and I do not have enough activity to burn off all the food with take in, so we’re trying things to decrease our food intake AND increase our activity, so that we reach a reasonable balance. But people who have (or are tempted by) eating disorders need to take care, and I would recommend not reading this post or else proceeding with utmost caution.

Obviously not all of the things we do are feasible for everyone, but maybe even hearing some of our ideas might spark a different way of thinking about food and being active for you.

One Meal a Day

Three meals a day makes a lot of sense if you’re doing hard labor all the time. It doesn’t make as much sense if you have a desk job or take care of a house as your main occupation. So the first thing we did a few years back is cut down to one meal a day. It could be anything at all, but it had to be just one meal. That alone dropped us both about 10 pounds down. We’d have one meal around lunch, and later in the evening we would share a large bowl of some sort of fruit (like tangerines or cherries). The aim was to eat things that were both good and filling. Variation keeps you from getting bored and abandoning the lifestyle.

Meals were often grilled salmon or home-warmed burgers (lean, when we could) or a soup from Trader Joe’s. Some of our meals now:

Two burgers with lean beef patties, pickles, and some mayo on bakery fresh onion rolls

Lox (with is VERY low cal, if expensive) on onion rolls with tomato and onion, a little oil and pepper and salt

Sharing a whole roast chicken from the store, plus a roll each

Large can of tuna mixed with a little mayo on two onion rolls

Shredded chicken and mashed potatoes from the store’s fresh packaged food section

Pot roast and mashed potatoes from the store’s fresh packaged food section

Meatballs. Just meatballs.

A spicy beans/rice/sausage/mushroom dish we brainstormed that we make in a pressure cooker

Home-made chicken mushroom fettuccine alfredo. Not super healthy, but hot and homemade. (this is a “maintenance” meal, see what I mean by that later)

A bag of chicken fried rice from Trader Joe’s

Soup from the grocery store (not the canned kind, but the fresher ones sold by the store)

Two larger sized tamales

One frozen pizza (inspect the full calorie count, you’re shooting for something between 600 and 1000 calories total, which does exist but it takes some looking and experimenting with types) whose flavor can always be spiced up with extra mushrooms or garlic powder. Not the Tostino’s or Party pizzas. I promise there are healthier, tastier, and more varied pizzas to be had in this calorie range.

Chicken breast or chicken thigh meat is sold frozen. Cook that and make that into sandwiches for very lean, filling meals. Use of various spices encouraged.

A tray of baked “catfish nuggets” which are chunks of catfish cooked in the oven

A tray of baked white meat chicken nuggets

Cocktail shrimp (thawed from frozen) with cocktail sauce

I have just broken into the frontier of omelettes, also low-cal and filling in conjunction with onion rolls.

Sergey would often go to a salad bar and load up on the salad, then also load up on the chicken noodle soup which is very filling and very low cal.

Sergey eats his meal closer to noon or one. I try to eat my meal around 3 or 4 if I can hold out, because then I’m not groaning about how hungry I am in the evening or being kept up by hunger pangs. For me, that’s the mid-point of the day and the one that helps me deal with hunger best.

Snacks and Sweets

Snacks are always tricky, and large bags of anything salty are automatic failures in this house; we are incapable of portioning them. So we stopped getting them unless we acknowledged the truth to ourselves, which is that one bag is one serving size no matter what the back says (i.e. we embraced that we’re being bad and got it anyway).

For a while Sergey and I had an occasional bowl of non-buttered popcorn with powdered salt. This worked for a bit because it was pretty filling, but Sergey found himself making multiple bowls so we had to stop because that defeated the purpose.

Some stores sell very small snacks individually portioned, like a tiny foil pack of variously flavored olives, or banana bites coated in cacao, etc. Those are great. Rice cakes can be good, though I get tired of them after a while. I like the cinnamon apple and chocolate ones best. Speaking of cinnamon apple, individual oatmeal cups are good too. I aim for around 140 cal for a snack.

Sometimes I will snack on a lean burger patty or chicken thigh-meat piece, each of which is about 70 cal.

By himself, Sergey often would (and still does) fill a large bowl full of small quartered tomatoes mixed with pepper, oil, and onion. He can put away two of these tomato salads a day as “snacks.” He says they’re very filling, good for you, and low-cal. He’s leaning more on bowls of baby carrots and sugar snap peas these days. Sometimes he will make a large bowl of Golden Apple slices to chow down on.

I keep NO ice cream in the house. I may get a larger quantity for a birthday celebratory binge, or use individual containers as a reward system, but I never “stock up” on ice cream. Birthday? Maybe 4 of the personal containers of various flavors, and that’s it for my birthday treat. Reward system? Once I get to a certain weight, I allow myself to have one small personal container of ice cream (or my other favorite, a jar of honey pecans) a week. The incentive to get to a certain weight balances out the slow-down on the weight loss the treat causes, because this can’t be all about deprivation or I couldn’t sustain it. Being able to sustain a way of eating into a lifestyle is a huge deal.

I keep dried cranberries in the cabinet. Sometimes if I’m hungry and need to hold out, I’ll grab one handful of those to eat. I keep larger quantities of oatmeal too, but I’m not sure if that’s working against me or not, because I dump high quantities of honey in to bring it up to my sweet tooth standards so it might end up being a bad thing for me. I haven’t sat down to figure that out yet.

I make a mean chunky cinnamon applesauce that is a delicious and pretty healthy snack, too, when I have the energy to make it.

I would like to make sweets all the ding dong day, but it works against us, so I have to reserve my sweets making for when there’s a large group to share them with. Otherwise we would eat all of that ourselves.

Tools that help

Making your own food at home becomes a lot more enjoyable and feasible for low-energy people like us when there are tools that cut back on the effort it takes. To that end

A good 6 qt pressure cooker does everything a crockpot does, but it has more options and is faster.

A good food processor can do almost anything, from applesauce to milling oats to slicing veggies to finely dicing the onions you don’t want to deal with, to making ice cream out of frozen bananas and cocoa powder. We have an older one and it still does wonders, even though some of the latches don’t work right.

A good indoor grill machine.

Electric mixer/beater. The effort of making cookies goes down by a third to a half the personal energy cost when you use this, plus the process goes faster and the texture is so much better.

A dishwasher. A good dishwasher means you aren’t spending a ton of energy cleaning up all the dishes you soiled just making food. Did you know there are portable dishwashers that hook up to your sink if you don’t have one in the home? I just learned this...

This one heavily depends on how much you’d use it, but it can be very inexpensive to get an electric citrus juicer. I can go through about 40 lemons for a party-sized quantity of lemonade and it wracks out my wrist to do that manually, so I got a good one for about $20.

This website is one Sergey uses to see what products are legitimately good, because Amazon is starting to have major issues with fake reviews PLUS Chinese knock-offs getting passed off as the good product. This site user-tests a ton of different brands of the same product and tells you which one they found to be best and why, then gives a few runners up in other categories like price or different type. I used this to find a good set of salt/pepper grinders, a good knife sharpener, and an individual serving coffee maker. I also found my electric mixer and citrus juicer on here.

Also, pickling things is fun and very cheap and easy.

A few radical things

This is our lifestyle, not a diet. We go crazy with our eating when we’re on a trip, but normal, everyday eating is the one-meal-a-day plan for us. Going to a friend’s place for a meal is a balancing act that we often fail (because it’s often all-you-can-eat), but we’re already brainstorming ways to compensate.

Here’s for something radical sounding, to be handled with care. While Sergey aims for around 1300 calories a day, approximately, I aim for under or close to 800. I’ve found that if I eat the same things as him, I maintain my current weight but do not lose any. It’s when I, the smaller and less active person, undershoot him, that I start gaining ground. When I reach the weight I’m aiming for, I will allow myself more leeway to get to his calorie intake level, because that’s “maintenance” level for me.

Here’s the current thing we are testing, so the results are not in yet. We’re doing this because neither of us has been able to budge our weight for a while. It’s a combination of factors so track with me. We like a place called Star Cinema Grill which is a movie theater that serves you a meal and/or drinks while you watch the movie. But even for one meal this is a very high calorie day if we go there. We swore off going for a long time, until their marketing department sent out a wave of “Two free tickets!” in the mail. Sergey figured that he would go, and then he would not eat for 48 hours to make up for it. I was a little concerned by the idea, but after thinking it over for a while (with the concern about eating disorders in mind) it didn’t actually seem that unreasonable. So I joined him in this. So now we’ve worked out that we can go to Star Cinema Grill on occasion as long as it’s followed by a 48 hour fast.

We had previously tried 48 hour fasts (which consist of, for example, eating lunch around noon on Sunday and stopping food until lunch on Tuesday, so that you sleep through much of the 48 hour period) but we first did the fast on ONLY water. By the second day we were both so lethargic and unfocused that we could hardly function. This time we allowed ourselves to have several rounds of tea or mocha throughout the day. That time, we experienced very negligible energy drops and made it through the period of no-eating with a lot less suffering.

NOW. I was reading Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, the expanded and revised edition, and at the end they included several articles they had written as bonus material. Please read this article to understand where I’m going next.

Excited, I rushed over to Sergey to make him read this bit. This is already sort of what we had been doing. Though this guy had distilled it down to sugar water, tea with a cube of sugar isn’t much different. My mocha had about three times the sugar, but was still on the very low end of calories for a day. So this idea (that sugar-water helps trick your body past hunger) was being confirmed for us by someone else. So we’ve decided to test out doing this 48-hour fast once a week, which may also allow for re-inclusion of things we tend to forgo more often (like weekly ice cream? Or a fresh batch of cookies?). Stay tuned...

Going out

We built a list of places and categories of how good or bad they are for us to go to. We divided them into Healthy and Healthy Cheat. Bad ones don’t make it on the list so we’re not tempted when we’re thinking of where to go out.

Healthy Restaurants are places where, if you’re reasonable with your choices, you can eat pretty much any one meal on their menu. (Lemon Shark is our Poke place in the area. Poke is unreasonably good and healthy and filling for you, and most will have vegetarian or cooked options on the menu if you don’t like raw fish. Jinya is a ramen place, though you have to be a little more selective about because some dishes are two meals’ worth, and Sweet Tomatoes is a salad bar also known as Souplantation in some regions)

Healthy Cheat Restaurants are places where we know we’ll probably eat more than we should, but the food is still relatively healthy. Tokyo Grill and Dimassi’s are both buffet places with relatively healthy options near us. Fukuda Sushi is our sushi go-to for now (though we’re looking to replace it as the fish quality went down).

Avoid most all-you-can-eat places like the plague, unless it’s a salad bar. Even then, if you gravitate toward the breads and creamy soups like I do, just say no.

Places we love that are also pretty bad for us on any kind of regular basis: Rudy’s BBQ, Star Cinema Grill, Wine Tasting Room (large meat and cheese platters), anywhere Italian.

Being Active

We took up Krav Maga, which had us doing off and on rigorous exercise for an hour twice a week. That went on for about a year. After I broke my toe, we switched to a home exercise regimen.

Instead of home exercise equipment, we opted for DDR pads, and have been doing hour-long DDR sessions most mornings. After an hour long workout (25 songs on easy-to-medium levels) we each do 20 crunches and then Sergey does extra burpees or push-ups. As the crunches get easier for me, I will be adding five at a time. I’m up to 30 now. Crunches were initially added to help me maintain the muscles that hold up a weak place in my spine, however now it’s also a good end-workout routine. I cannot get through all this without frequent water breaks because I drip sweat, and Sergey turns into a waterfall.

Sergey has added about 3-5 extra mini-workouts (a set of pushups or burpees) sprinkled throughout the day.

Some days we go to a park in the morning and walk for 30-50 minutes instead of DDR. It’s less strenuous, but a nice change of pace and scenery.

Some days we go kayaking in a nearby waterway, which REALLY works the arm muscles that day, but it’s a fantastic workout. We keep saying we need to go more often, but often forget.

Failing

It’s going to happen. It’s going to feel miserable. Sometimes I have found myself up at three AM, unable to sleep, making myself another whole frozen pizza or eating all the spaghetti leftovers. Sometimes I can talk myself into something slightly better, like a bowl of oatmeal, but not often. Sometimes I’ll just mix white and brown sugar, butter, and raw oatmeal and eat this lump-of-barely-cookie-dough as is. Sometimes I come home from the grocery store with an entire round loaf of bakery bread and eat it, much to Sergey’s fascination and surprise. One time I scooped one out and filled it with clam chowder and ate my own homemade bread bowl. It was great. It was also way over my limit.

Sometimes “failing” is known and expected, like around the holidays or birthdays. It’s okay to celebrate. Food is a very social and emotional experience as well as a sustenance deal. Keep picking yourself back up and trying again.

Sergey, who is SUPER good at distilling core concepts, adds his own TLDR:

On Losing Weight

Dusty and I have both struggled with overeating. For me, there have been sad times when plowing through a huge meal may have been the happiest 20 minutes of my day, and it’s no surprise that I would resist any attempts to eliminate that. However, I’ve found that losing weight and getting healthier leads to better moods and reduces the frequency and severity of impulses to binge.

Whatever you do must be incorporated into your lifestyle—if you are “going on a diet,” then you are setting yourself up to fail. If certain behaviors become part of your ordinary day, and you maintain that for months at a time, it’s much more likely that you’ll be able to keep going.

The most important change I’ve made is limiting myself to 1 meal a day. After a short adjustment period, I feel only a little bit hungrier than I did with 2 meals a day while consuming half the calories. That meal should be a reasonably-sized meal (typically 800-1200 calories for men, 600-900 for women), not an extra-large one. If I get hungry again, I only allow myself some very low-calorie snacks like carrots, sugar snap peas, or tomatoes.

The second thing I did was institute a daily exercise program. Dusty and I start each morning with an hour of DDR when we can, and I stop what I’m doing every 3-5 hours to do a set of 20 burpees. As I gain strength, I plan to increase this number. We also go for walks or go kayaking when the weather and our moods allow. What’s most important is that you do something to get your heart racing and get sweaty, and that you do it every day.

The last thing I did was institute occasional 48-hour fasts. For example, I would have lunch on Monday and not eat again until lunch on Wednesday. If I have tea with light sugar during a fast, I only feel moderately hungrier than I would otherwise. It’s much more tolerable than I thought it would be. There is considerable research suggesting that intermittent fasting is good for you, and it can be a reasonable way to offset the binge you couldn’t resist having. It’s definitely a healthier approach than purging, which hurts both your body and your soul.

[acosmicmouse]

A Cosmic Mouse Guide: Being Small

Happy New Year! /  新年快樂 It is that time when so many of us make resolutions to eat better, exercise, lose -x pounds, gain +500 confidence and energy. But the way society has taught us to do this is stressful and unsustainable. I don’t pretend to be an expert; but I know this: if you aren’t happy, what difference will it make to lose weight? I don’t care how amazing I might look if I did fad diet #4, or exercised intensely every day, or only ate between __ AM and __ PM every day, and obeyed all these arbitrary, unintuitive  rules people have come up with to try to lose weight. Nothing would be worth the stress of it all. Instead, if you want to lose weight this year, I want to invite you to try some things that worked for me. 

Take your time. You don’t have to rush.  Over five years, I’ve lost over 85 pounds. It seemed very slow at times. But I am happy to have taken that time to get where I am now. Any time I would try something new, and it would help me lose weight, the first thing I would ask myself is--can I do this for an indefinite amount of time and still be happy? If the answer was no, I would move on.

Pretend you are at your goal already. What would the small-you do? What would the small-you eat and drink? How would the small-you feel? Why wait until you are small for those things? Try to picture an ideal day at your goal weight, and you’ll find just about all of it is possible today.

Learn what your body likes to eat. After you eat something, see how you feel. Do you feel good and have more energy? Nice! Eat more of that. Do you feel gross, stuffed, sluggish, or bloated? Maybe you want to avoid that food.

Try new foods! Make it a fun and exciting event, once a week, once a month--invite your friends to try new foods with you. Go on a little road trip to different ethnic markets. Research recipes you think you might like.

Try different ways to cook foods! Look up rice cooker recipes. Get a little air fryer to experiment with. Stir fry is always successful. Try making your own dried fruit. Summertime?! Cook your food on a campfire!!!! Let your sense of adventure be your compass. (If you are not a great cook, like me, don’t worry--if it comes out badly, you don’t have to eat it. You won’t gain weight from bad cooking. :D )

Learn when your body likes to eat. Hungry when you wake up? Have breakfast then. Not hungry at all in the morning? Wait until later to eat. Only hungry at 6:18 AM and 9:42 PM? Go for it! After all, you are a cosmic mouse now--you will not be confined by a clock.

Learn how much your body needs. You don’t need to keep eating until you’re feeling stuffed, just until you’re not hungry. If you aren’t sure, take a break--you can always eat more later. You also don’t need to starve. Eat enough, just not too much. If you feel better grazing, then graze. If you feel better having full meals, have full meals. This can be different every day. That’s okay too.

Identify non-hunger triggers. Do you eat when you’re bored? Watch a good show, read a good book, knit, crochet, go for a walk, go snowshoeing, ride a bike, learn a language, start an indoor garden, go on a cleaning spree with music or a podcast on, get in the car and go exploring! Do you eat when you’re lonely? Call a friend. Do you eat when you’re tired? Take a nap or go to bed early if you can. Sad, angry, frustrated, etc? It’s hard, but try to face those things nose to nose like a brave little mouse.

Try different activities! If you enjoy the gym, good for you! But most of us don’t. Exercise doesn’t have to feel like a chore though. Try different kinds of dance. Try ice skating, snowshoeing, skiing, snowboarding, extreme sledding, bowling, golf, hockey. Going for a quiet walk after work can be relaxing. Try qigong, yoga, pilates, different martial arts. Don’t stop until you find something you enjoy. It doesn’t have to be intense either. Gardening may not seem like a workout, but it’s better than laying on the couch.

Use what motivates you, and avoid what pressures you. If the scale motivates you, use it to your advantage. Or if, like me, you feel more pressured by the scale than anything, just weigh in once a month--or not at all! Pay more attention to how you feel, how much energy you have, how loose your clothes feel, and how happy you are with yourself. Use those feelings to motivate you. Once you know how good you can feel, you will want things to stay that way.

Keep your house, car, computer, and workplace clean and tidy. Your mind will take ques from your surroundings. If you live in clutter and chaos, your mind will be cluttered and chaotic. If your surroundings are clean, harmonious, organized, and generally pleasant--your mind will be too.

Make sure you sleep enough. Sleeping less than you need is seen now as a sign of strength and perseverance, but that doesn’t make it healthy. Sleep as much as you need, but not more, as often as you can. If you need to catch up on sleep, it is much better to nap during the day than to go to bed early or wake up late.

Make sure you get enough water. It can be very hard to lose weight if you don’t stay hydrated. Kind of like trying to scrub a pan with a dry sponge. If you don’t like the taste, try adding fruit slices. Foods with a lot of water are helpful too: soups, melons, tomatoes, celery, peppers, eggplant.

Have fun! Time flies when you’re having fun. Before you know it, you will be at your goals. And until then, isn’t it better to have a good time anyway?

Bonus Some of my favorite cooks on youtube: Li Ziqi, pictured above, is my absolute favorite. If you want to see how beautifully life and food can come together, I highly recommend her videos. Mike Chen’s channel Strictly Dumpling is amazing. If you need help awakening your sense of foody adventure, Strictly Dumpling is for you. If Thai food is something you enjoy, Pailin’s Kitchen has tons of recipes and cooking videos.

[storiesundercandlelight]

Loving Loki - Four

Two weeks. Two uneventful weeks had passed since David and I had our day out. The day where we had also said that we would start dating each other, yet here I am sat on may couch on a Saturday morning wondering why fate and timing had been so cruel to me. 

I was being selfish, I knew this yet I couldn’t help myself. So many thoughts were running through my head right now. The case was over. Detective Loki was on the news. Missing girls both found and alive. Even the father of the last girl to be found had been located after his mysterious disappearance. I wanted to be happy, I was, almost. David had been gone so much recently, the last two weeks were manic for him, not just because he solved the case but also because people seemed to blow up about this story, about the detective who had single handedly solved this brutally horrible case of the abduction of two girls.

My phone vibrated against the wood of the coffee table beside me, my eyes pulling away from the dull noise of the TV. It was David.

I know you’re mad, I’m sorry I haven’t had any time to see you. Can I come over later?

It was hard to be mad, I just couldn’t justify it. How could I be mad at someone who so patiently and passionately wanted to do his best to find the missing girl, who had risked his well being to bring her home? You just cant be mad at someone like that. But I cant deny this strange feeling inside. It had been almost three months since I moved here and the lonely feeling never fully went away. I almost cried when my friend Kate told me she was coming to visit me, I swear I couldn’t wait the three days it was going to take before she’s due to visit. 

I’m not mad David, how could I be? Of course you can come over x 

These little texts back and forth had been a constant part of my daily routine for the last two weeks. It was the only thing that fully reminded me that I was even in this relationship. This very new, very non-existent relationship. 

Ok, I’ll be there around 5:30pm? We could order some food and watch a movie?

I had to admit he knew how to do it. Somehow he knew after so little time that I preferred to stay home and snuggle up rather than dressing up and going out. Well…except from when Kate gets here then going out is a must, the girl seems to function best under florescent lights and above crowded dance floors. 

My eyes drifted to my laptop, still sat on the coffee table “Draft One” the only thing written on the screen. I tried, so so many times to get words out. God I wanted to write something. To pour my emotions out and create something that others would be still glued to at 1:00am in the morning because they simply can’t put it down without knowing the ending. I don’t know what it was but the sudden urge to leave the house was so heavy on my shoulders that I didn’t hesitate with my next text.

Skip takeout, I need milk, I’ll grab something to make for dinner x

I was pretty comfortable cooking for myself, it had been a while since I’d cooked for anyone else but the idea of trying something new with David was so exciting.

Sure sounds great x

I allowed myself a few seconds to smile at the fact that he put an x at the end of the text, its such a petty thing to notice but I did anyway. Then I jumped up, grabbed my coat, keys and bag and headed out. 

The little car I’d got myself was useful enough, it wasn’t fancy or particularly expensive but it worked for me and didn’t look like a crumpled up tin can so I think I did okay. The parking lot to the local supermarket was pretty full, I didn’t expect anything less for a Saturday. But I did take notice more than once of the kids cheerfully throwing their parents groceries to each other other the carts. One wrong move and that melon is going everywhere. 

I settled for teriyaki chicken, some rice and a few greens. I’d cooked it more than once and didn’t feel like a complete fool when it came to cooking it for someone else. As I walked down the isles grabbing what I need plus extra groceries for the week my phone started ringing. David?

“Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah I got a five minute break so I figured I’d call, whats that noise?”

“That would be two kids trying to decide which one of them can throw the vegetables in they mothers cart the furthest, I think they’re going for a world record”

“You’re joking right?”

“Nope, you cant make this stuff up, the floor attendant looks like he’s about to blow a fuse” I pushed myself up onto my tip toes to reach a bag of chips from the top shelf. 

“If it’s the Harris kid they’ll be strung up from the ceiling by the time you leave”

“You know too many people”

“It’s a small town, so what are you cooking tonight?”

“I cant tell you”

“Why not?”

“Because if I do then you’ll have too much time between now and when you’re due over to realise you hate what I’m cooking and make an excuse not to come” I finally reached the till where a teenager was chewing gum and scanning my items at a snails pace. 

“I promise I wont hate whatever you make”

“I’m gonna hold you to that when you taste it and realise that I’m an awful cook”

“Well you said awful first so maybe-“ I heard David reply to someone in the background, the till beeping and the struggle of holding the phone between my head and shoulder while packing preventing me from hearing fully what was said. “I gotta go, I’ll see you later?”

“Oh yeah, sure. See you later” The line went dead just as I’d finished paying. I grabbed my bags and said thanks to the girl who’s eyes were directly chained on the guy working the other till, she popped her gum and nodded at me without even taking her eyes off him. 

The rest of the day went by pretty uneventfully, I showered, cleaned the house quickly and ended up in the kitchen. Okay, if I start the dinner prep now I can leave the chicken to marinade in the fridge and then just pull it out to cook when Davids here. I was feeling a lot more optimistic about David coming over. Maybe this would finally be the start of our relationship, no more texting and “Im sorry I couldn’t make it” calls. 

I started to cut the chicken on a matt into small pieces, the rice boiling happily on the cooker beside me before hearing a knock at the door. David looked tired, but not as tired as he had been during the case, this tired was a normal kind of tired, not the kind that made him look like he was about to drop any second. As David took off his jacket I returned back to cooking, I could hear his footsteps approaching me and within a few seconds he was behind me, leaning close to me to look over my shoulder at the food. The chicken was now cooking in a pan, mixed with the veggies and sauce. 

“I wont lie I could probably eat both of our portions right now” I felt a shiver run down my spine when David spoke, he was close enough that I felt his breath against the back of my ear. His hands were resting gently on my hips. I loved how easy it was to be around David despite the not so normal start we’d had. The over the phone, mostly at work and occasionally in between all of the above schedule we had seemed at first like it would never have worked but I could honestly say I was glad we’d stuck it out. The warmth of him behind me as I cooked our meal felt so right I couldn’t find anything to complain about. 

“Why don’t you set the table? It’ll be ready soon” I turned my head to meet Davids gaze a soft smile tugging at the sides of my lips.

“Sure” Just as David turned to go about the job I’d set I quickly grabbed his arm. He stopped to look at me a questioning look falling over his features. I didn’t leave him waiting long before I reached up and planted a kiss on his cheek, teasingly close to his lips. As I pulled away I swore I could see the surprise on Davids face before he smiled and went to set the table. Yes I could get used to this feeling.

The food smelt and looked thankfully as good as it tasted, I poured two glasses of water while David was already happily digging into his food. 

“Do they forget to feed you?” 

“You have no idea” He spoke quickly before going back to his food.  I smiled looking at David, ti had been so long since I’d had the opportunity to just look at him. At the department he was so rushed recently and working out regularly left very little time to fully appreciate the seemingly perfect angles of his jaw or his blue eyes that turned a stormy grey when the lighting was right.

“You’re staring”

“Huh?” I quickly meet Davids gaze, realising that he’d stopped eating and was looking at me with a small smirk. “Sorry, it’s just…I kinda missed looking at you, I haven’t really had the opportunity” I felt heat rise to my cheeks and quickly looked down at my plate.

“I know, I feel the same. I was surprised you didn’t notice me staring the other day”

“You were?”

“Yeah, you were at your desk and had this pencil hanging out of your mouth and you looked like your computer had just asked you to single handedly solve its coding, you were just so in your own world, you didn’t even notice anyone else around you, you looked pretty” David held my gaze but I could see the slight embarrassment at his confession etching over his features, he put his fork down and sighed. “I know this hasn’t been great, this whole relationship thing between us. I wanted it to be better than this but I just couldn’t think of anything but the case, I don’t normally get so involved but those girls…they need someone like me to spend too much time looking for leads and not enough time on his new girlfriend, who was well within her rights to leave me, I wouldn’t have blamed you”

“I wouldn’t have left you David. I know how hard this had been, I saw the paperwork. I don’t blame you for not paying attention to me, I couldn’t, I like you for who you are and if that includes your dedication to your work then so be it” a smile spread across Davids face and I let one spread across mine too and for a moment we did just look like two fools in love.  

[ambeer6]

Samurai Flamenco exchange

Here is a Masagoto fic I wrote for @prince-kraehe for the gift exchange hosted by @watchsamuraiflamenco. asked to use the themes romance and fluff, but it ended up mostly just domestic.

This is set after they’ve been married for a while. I hope you enjoy it.

When Hidenori arrived back home, he noticed Masayoshi’s shoes still missing in the hall. He must still be out. A quick look at his new phone, Masayoshi insisted they buy new matching phones together, revealed that it was nearing 7 o’clock. Hidenori let out a sigh and made his way to the kitchen. Could just was well start cooking right?

Standing in front of the fridge, looking at the options, a thought suddenly came. Curry would be the correct option. It was almost the anniversary of their meeting and curry used to be their go-to during that time. Hidenori smiled as he held the exclusive Flamen Red curry paste in his hand. It was extremely rare as it featured all members wearing red.

Hidenori was still chopping up vegetables when he heard the front door open. Some stumbling later a familiar voice could be heard.

“I’m home!”

“Welcome back!” Hidenori yelled back.

Loud footsteps made their way to the kitchen. Door opening. Short pause and a sniff. Then Hidenori felt arms wrapping around his waist. A face pressing against his own.

“How was work today for the cutest husband in the universe?” Masayoshi asked.

“I don’t know, how was work for you?” Hidenori replied without hesitation.

“ah, uck! I meant you!”

“I know, but you’re wrong.” He laughed, “Now are you gonna tell me about your day or what?”

Masayoshi took a step back but let his hands rest on Hidenori’s hips.

“Today I visited an elementary school with Momoi. She told them about what kind of hero work is legal and what is not. Apparently they were afraid we might influence the kids too much.”

“You probably do.”

“Anyway, I told them my story about how I became the hero I am today. Momoi kept interrupting me to clarify to the kids whenever I did something illegal.”

Hidenori couldn’t help but laugh. He almost cut his finger and Masayoshi pouted at him.

“After all that, we had an afternoon full of exercises. The kids were super excited and I was pretty surprised how strong some of them were!”

“So you stayed late to give them secret hero training?”

“No, I wish I could, but Momoi took me on a secret shopping mission to buy Flamen Pink merchandise. I actually got to keep this one”

Masayoshi sticks out his hand and Hidenori laughs again when he sees the bright pink bracelet on his husband’s wrist. He spins it slightly to reveal Momoi’s face on it and turns back to the pan with a grin.

“Wait a second,” Masayoshi huffs, “I asked you about your day first! You didn’t answer me yet!”

“It wasn’t super eventful.”

“Oh come on. I know you can do better than that!”

“Fine. A lady came over to our station and started complaining about some florist being rude to her.”

“Just rude?”

“Yes. I had to listen to her complain for 20 minutes before I could actually ask her if there was any actual crime involved. Turns out there wasn’t and she was simply warning us about this person being potentially dangerous.”

“So do you think the florist could be dangerous?”

“Not really. In all honestly I felt more sorry for the florist having to deal with this lady than anything else. The entire story started with her admitting she was trying to return flowers after supposedly using them for a week.”

“Returning them.”

“Yes, she tried to return the flowers.”

This earned Hidenori a laugh from Masayoshi. He looked back to find his husband sitting down at the dining table burying his face in his hands. He actually looked more like he was suffering secondhand embarrassment rather than laughing at the story.

A ping from the rice cooker. Hidenori gestures at it and Masayoshi jumps back on his feet to take the rice out. The curry itself was almost ready to serve as well.

Masayoshi got out plates and started scooping rice onto his own, when Hidenori took the pan off the fire. The entire room smelled like curry. The two of them filled their plates with curry and rice, thanked for the food and started eating.

Suddenly Masayoshi gasped.

“Nori, don’t tell me this is the Flamen Red curry?”

“It is. I thought it would be nice to eat it since it’s been almost 4 years ago that we met. Just two more days-”

“That’s a super exclusive curry though! I wanted to save it!”

“It wasn’t the last one! We have one more left!”

Masayoshi stood up and started searching the cupboards in disbelief. Hidenori groaned, but refused to let this stop him from eating. He chewed down a mouthful of curry as he heard Masayoshi sigh out in relief.

He watched his husband sit back down at the table, smiling in relief. He really was very good looking, Hidenori thought to himself. He was a little disappointed that Masayoshi still doesn’t trust him when it comes to food. He would probably have more hope for Hidenori flying a space ship with no prior knowledge about it’s workings than for Hidenori to not cook up his last exclusive curry.

“You know, you should’ve warned me. Even as Flamen Red myself, I only got my hands on 3 of these ever. We can only enjoy this 3 times!”

“I know, I’ll ask you before using the last one.” Hidenori stared at his plate. “Actually one package is enough for 4 people, so we can just put this in the fridge and eat it again tomorrow. We could technically enjoy it 6 times that way.”

“That is true, but it’s definitely the best when freshly made!”

“You could always request them to do another collaboration with the same curry brand.”

“It wouldn’t be really the same, though…”

The rest of the meal was spent coming up with concepts for Samurai Flamenco themed foods. The two of them washed the dishes and put the leftovers in the fridge. They headed over to the tv and watched the news.

Hidenori was intently listening to the weather forecast when he felt Masayoshi leaning onto him. He looked to his side and realized his husband had fallen asleep. It wasn’t so rare for this to happen. Masayoshi worked multiple jobs and would often get home exhausted from work. Today he also woke up early to prepare for work.

A smile made its way onto Hidenori’s face again as he turned down the volume of the tv. He brushed the hair out of Masayoshi’s face and leaned to kiss him on the head. It’s been many times and he knew he could safely move Masayoshi to the bedroom without waking him up.

Several years back, Hidenori would probably have complained and woken him up, but now he knows it’s better to just let him rest. A quiet buzzing of his phone grabbed his attention. He opened up the email he just received.

 I’m so proud of you!

Hello mister Hazama number 2! You’ve been doing so well lately! Your last message made me so proud! You’ve come such a long way.

When you first told me about Masayoshi, I thought he was just some silly guy, but as time went on you really fell for him hard. I could tell from the way your messages changed!

You’re not still angry about the time he mixed up the laundry, are you? Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, even you.

Ever since the two of us broke up, we’ve been messaging each other less and less. This was somewhat disappointing to me at first, but right now I think that was the right decision.

When I don’t hear from you every day, I just get more excited to what you have to tell me next time I receive an email.

But more importantly, I think this was the right decision for your sake. You have become a lot more kind and courageous since then, but mostly I feel like you’ve become more calm. More relaxed, so to say.

I will definitely still keep messaging you from time to time, but I think you’re doing very good without me. Now that you have Masayoshi, I see you started feeling better and better. No need for me to cheer you up anymore!

Anyway, I intended on keeping this short, but in the end it got pretty long. Bottomline here is: I’m proud of you! Super duper proud! You’re doing well and I will always be cheering for you!

<3 Love!