#anyway they fuck around with guitars in this one again. thank god. gifts for me personally

[heyidkyay]

And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Thirteen

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way? 

Authors Note: I'm sorry it took so long!! I really struggled to write this part ngl, but once it came I just went with it:) lots of emotions this time around, AS WELL AS some healthy pining in store! So we're finally getting somewhere, finally. Anyway, thanks to @procrastinatinglikeapro for the idea surrounding Mouse's gift to Matty- was struggling with that whole concept but we're going w it now! Hopefully you enjoy, thanks for all the love on this series too, means a whole lot xx

> Just a reminder! We left the last update with a surprise knock at the door:) You can look back here if you'd like, or just read the last little snippet below!

Masterlist

Watching them was all too lovely as well. For someone with such a cool front, Matty seemed to melt around Teddy, succumbing to that of the boy’s charm and easy going nature. It was sweet to see, surprising, but endlessly sweet. Had me losing track of time, in truth. Which is why I jumped and cursed the way I did when the door finally knocked. 

“Mémé!”

...

“Mimi?” Matty murmured to himself as he followed the instruction Mouse had left him with, clearing away the wrapping paper Teddy had so carelessly tossed about the room earlier in his excitement and settling the little guitar up onto the sofa.

His eyes lingered on the wooden instrument for a short second, recalling the moment when he’d first spotted it. He hadn’t thought much about what he’d been doing when he’d walked on by the shop window only to then find himself stumbling inside, spending God knows what on a little boy he’d only really met just the once. He couldn’t bring himself to regret it though, even with how nervous he’d been for Teddy’s reaction.

Speaking of Teddy though, the little boy had practically charged the front door the second it had rang a few minutes ago, jumping up and down and tugging at the handle in his obvious excitement, whilst the woman sitting opposite them had frozen completely in her seat, like a soldier experiencing shellshock.

Matty thought they’d been having a good time overall, a brilliant time even! But then the doorbell had sounded and all of her smiles and her carefree laughter had been drenched in water, washed away as soon as she had stood up to answer the knock.

“Mé. Mé.” Came a drawn out voice behind him then, obviously having heard Matty’s shoddy attempt at it and deciding to sound the word out for him.

Matty spun around on his heel to catch sight of the toddler hanging off of the living room door. The kid was like their very own little monkey, always swinging off of something. Matty raised a brow at the correction he’d been given. “Me-me?” He tried again, beyond perplexed and wondering what the fuck everyone was going on about.

Teddy giggled happily at him and then shook his head, curls flying with it, Matty briefly questioned where Squeaks had gotten to.

“Mémé.” The boy sounded it out for him again and this time Matty caught the different accent that had filtered in, it was so prominent when the boy spoke that one word.

Matty’s forehead creased. “Mémé?” At Teddy’s buoyant nod, he grinned at having finally grasped it, “And just who might that be, mate?”

Teddy glanced over his shoulder before he pushed off of the door, letting it swing slightly as he hurried his little feet over to where Matty was currently standing, bin bag in hand. The latter dropped it though to take a seat on the settee, hoisting the little man up onto his knee.

One thing Matty had quickly learned in his short time of knowing the kid, was that Teddy was clingy. Not that that was a bad thing, Matty knew he could be just as bad some days. If not worse. But having someone seek that sort of comfort from him, out of all people, in such an intimate way made him feel necessary, as though he served a real purpose.

“Go on, let me in on the secret then.” Matty prodded, jerking his chin out ever so slightly to nudge Teddy's shoulder. He relished in the soft giggles it earned him.

“Mémé’s my Mémé!”

“Oh! Well, that makes so much sense, don’t it?” Matty remarked in return, rolling his eyes fondly at the unhelpful reply before he tickled the boy’s sides, “Don’t it?”

“Stop, Matty! I tolds you, I tolds you!” Teddy squealed, laughing so hard that he nearly slipped right on out from under Matty’s hold, but the singer propped him back up all too easily.

“You didn’t.” Matty grinned, having relented on his attack of the toddler, settling Teddy more comfortably into his side. He enjoyed having someone smile back at him with no other intention than just the simplicity of enjoying his presence, with kids there was never any ulterior motives. “Where’s your mum anyway, huh?”

“Right here.”

Matty’s head shot up to find Mouse now standing in the doorway wearing a strained sort of smile, a single suitcase behind her and then, “Oh.”

“Mémé!” Teddy pointed, dragging his eyes back up to meet Matty’s weary and startled face as he bounced excitedly.

Of course ‘Mémé’ would've had to have been Squeaks’s mum, because who else could it have possibly been? Who else would have such impeccable timing?

He was fucked. And Matty knew it.

Mouse must've seen the realisation that hit him too, because she used the moment to try and disguise the utter horror dawning on Matty’s face by clapping her hands and promptly glancing back at her mum from over her shoulder. “Mam! This is Matty. Matty,” She turned back to him, thankful to find that he’d sort of wised up to the situation they’d been shafted with and shut his gaping gob, “Matty this is my mum, Anaïs.”

Matty tried extremely hard to commit the pronunciation to memory, which proved to be a little bit easier when the toddler hanging off his hip started parroting it over and over again.

“Eh, excusez-moi! It is Mémé to you, mon chéri.” The woman answered Teddy with a soft sort of smile as Squeaks stepped aside to let her mother further in, aged eyes honed in on her giggling grandson.

Matty took the moment to admire the older woman, focusing on all the things her daughter had obviously inherited, the way she held herself, and the strength of her gaze when it finally landed on him. He swallowed thickly. 

“And you are Matty?” Matty nodded at her, not really feeling the way Teddy was now tugging on his fingers whilst the woman stepped even closer, gracing her daughter with a quick look that Matty couldn’t quite make out. “Ah.” She breathed before she finally smiled at him, a small thing, so different to the one he’d previously seen when she’d been teasing Teddy. “Ana is fine really, it seems you people always have a difficult time with it.”

There was humour there but Matty didn’t want to brush her name aside just for the sake of struggling, he’d get there in the end, he was sure of it. Just like how he’d gotten through a setlist full of songs edited by George, replacing most words with- well, probably best not to think of those two very separate things in the same context.

Matty struggled to control his sudden urge to grimace.

“Anaïs?” He stumbled slightly but then tried again with an apologetic smile and dipped brows, “Anaïs.”

“Mémé!” Teddy cut in with a uninformative correction, reaching upwards to poke at Matty’s slightly stubbled cheek. He was in need of a quick shave but seeing as he’d be heading up north for the holidays he’d foregone it, knowing his mum preferred him clean shaven. ‘Makes you look so much healthier, Matthew!’

The man glanced down, a thoughtless chuckle skipping out of his mouth like a rock over a lake as he shook his head closer to the boy’s own, letting his curls tickle Teddy’s tiny face. “Matty!” He laughed again, squirming before he too was shaking his hair in retaliation. 

Matty couldn’t quite help his beaming smile when he looked back up at the woman, who seemed very content with just watching the pair of them. His eyes trailed over her shoulder briefly to spot the way that Squeaks was currently chewing on her lower lip, silently fretting.

“Sorry, I’ll get it soon enough.” He told Anaïs with as much genuinity as he could muster up, oddly wanting to keep the woman on side. “It is lovely to meet you though, Anaïs.” She smiled in turn at the use of her name, even with Matty’s slight wince, and then dipped her chin at him. “I didn’t realise I’d be stepping on any toes dropping by.”

“Non, you are fine.” She assured him with a slight shake of her head, waving his apology right off, “My flight was delayed. I was worried I’d be keeping them waiting, so you did me a favour.”

Matty physically felt his shoulders sag with sudden relief at the woman’s words, glad to note that he hadn’t fucked much up by stopping in without a warning. Although, he tapped Teddy’s leg softly then to get him moving, “Don’t you wanna go say hello then, monster? I’d best be off now.”

Teddy’s eyes widened at that last bit and Matty was sure he’d never seen anyone move so fast. “No!” The boy exclaimed, wrapping his chubby little arms around Matty’s neck and holding fast.

Matty’s eyes widened just as he adjusted his grip better around the kid, beyond perplexed by the sudden change. “God, little man! Tryna take me out here?” He chuckled as best he could, voice a tad bit strained by the surprisingly strong hold Teddy had on his neck.

“Teds!” Matty heard Squeaks gasp out quickly, before she was already rounding her mother in a hasty beeline to help. “You can’t just-”

She huffed when Teddy only tightened his grip and Matty couldn’t help the other chuckle that slipped out.

“Teddy.”

“It’s fine, honest.” Matty assured her, a hand splayed on the toddler’s back whilst he stared over at Mouse’s oddly harassed expression. “Teddy, mate. I’ve got to head out now, but I reckon I can promise you a visit soon though. If your mum doesn't mind much.”

The pair of them shared a look then, but Teddy didn’t take to the ruse.

Matty pursed his lips to keep his growing grin at bay, knowing it wouldn’t earn him any points with Mouse, and then moved at an angle in an attempt to see the little boy’s face that was still hidden away in the curve of his shoulder.

“Teds, look. We can make a plan, yeah? ‘Cause I proper enjoyed that last little outing we had the other day- you know, the way you went down that slide at the park was crazy! “ Matty peered in closer and smiled at the sight of a blinking eye. “Or maybe you can come ‘round mine. I’ve got lots of guitars there, reckon we could mess about with them and annoy your mum until she goes mad.”

That had Teddy pulling further away, but only by a fraction. Matty noted the way not just Squeaks, but Anaïs too, was watching him now.

“Play ‘tars?”

Teddy’s small voice snapped him out of the apprehensive feeling that had started to coil. He blinked down at the kid, “Yeah, if you want. We can do whatever, yeah? Zoo, the park-” Matty sort of frowned then and glanced back up towards where Squeaks was now crouched before them, “What else do kids like to do?”

His whispered ask was rewarded with a breathy chuckle that lit up the girl's entire face and had her giggling away to herself even as her son squirmed excitedly in Matty’s hold.

“Zoo?” Teddy questioned him with big pleading eyes, “With the ‘guins? And the tigers?”

Matty felt his face pinch, “‘Guins?”

“The cold birdies, Matty! ‘Dem ones.”

Ah.

“Yeah, ‘course the penguins will be there!” Matty nodded resolutely, then turned back to Mouse, “London Zoo has penguins right?”

She snorted unhelpfully but Teddy paid their conversation no mind at all, apparently far too excited with the sudden prospect of an adventure to the Zoo. Looking at his face, Matty knew he’d have to find a way to make it happen.

“Right, we all settled then?” He asked the toddler, raising an eyebrow down at the tyke, suddenly wondering how he’d gone from pleasing a crowd full of fans to bargaining with a four year old. How his mum had ever managed to cope with the likes of him at this age was maddening.

Teddy looked up at him then with eyes squinted from the strength of his smile, he took a long second to deliberate the whole ‘letting go thing’ and then finally released Matty from his chokehold. 

“Cheers, monster.” Matty laughed softly, ruffling the kid’s curls before passing him off over into Mouse’s awaiting arms. 

“Hear, mum! Hear Matty?” Teddy quizzed her immediately, bouncing on her hip as she stood.

“I heard, love.” Squeaks chuckled softly before she turned to flash a smile in Matty’s direction, both apologetic and grateful. “You wanna say thanks to Matty for your present before he goes?”

“Ta!”

A bright laugh burst from Matty at that, but he shook his head and then forced himself back onto his feet, reaching out to tickle the little boy’s leg. “Welcome, mate.” 

And just like that Teddy was squirming to get down and go see his grandmother who appeared to have watched the whole scene play out from the sidelines.

Matty dimmed his grin into a smaller smile and let his eyes linger on the girl beside him, on the love she obviously had for her son and mother both. He wondered briefly what having that much love might feel like.

“I cleared up, by the way.” He mentioned quietly now that he was watching Teddy too, leaning into Squeaks’s side a little. “Figured it was only right, seeing as I’d been the cause and all that.”

She tittered lightly to herself, then pivoted to face him. “I appreciate it, all of it.”

It was obvious she wasn’t just talking about the clean up.

“No worries.” Matty shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets, feeling suddenly self-conscious, which wasn’t new but was also not appreciated. “I’d better be off, though, got a long drive and all that.”

Her brows rose ever so slightly before she nodded, as though she’d only just remembered he was meant to be on his way. “Yeah, yeah right. I’ll walk you out.”

Matty smiled, then turned back to the remaining two. “Monster! I’ll be seeing you! Be good and keep practising those chords for me, alright? I’ll be checkin' in.”

Teddy nodded buoyantly from where he had dragged his grandmother over to the sofa to view his gifted guitar, “Bye, Matty. See soon!”

Kid was a right little charmer.

Matty grinned back at him before allowing his eyes to meet Anaïs's own. “It was lovely meeting you, have a Merry Christmas.”

Anaïs granted him with a soft smile, one that Matty had only ever really seen mimicked by his own mum. “It was. Joyeux Noël, Matty.”

He nodded quietly to himself, the French infiltrating his mind. By the time both he and Mouse had made it back out into the hallway, the living room door now closed behind them, Matty allowed himself to voice his sudden thoughts, “You never said you were French.”

Squeaks quirked a brow at him in return, already pulling his coat off the hook and handing it over to him. Matty slowly shucked it on.

“Half.” She informed, watching him now from her place by the bannister, “And there’s a lot you don’t know about me yet, Healy.”

It was teasing but Matty knew that truth rather intimately, Mouse was a maze of secrets. Her name, her son, her origin. He wondered over what else she had kept so carefully hidden, but bit his tongue when he thought to ask. Yet, she had said. Matty could deal with a ‘yet’.

“Seems so.” He hummed sarkily, although he was smiling again. He always seemed to be smiling nowadays. Then he went to double check he had everything in his pockets only to realise that his jacket still homed one last gift. “Shit.” He muttered under his breath.

Mouse’s brow dipped, “What?”

A surge of anticipation surged through him at that question, what indeed. What the fuck had he been thinking, more like.

He’d gifted presents to women before, friends, girlfriends, staff at gigs. But this one left him feeling all weird. The type of weird that you often felt getting caught with a girl at school, or mentioning a silly crush to one of your mates on the playground. 

His eyes flickered up to meet hers in the dimly lit hallway, fingers dancing over the envelope he had tucked away. 

“Matty?”

Matty forced up that familiar bravado of his and stepped on closer, plucking the present from the confines of his coat as if he hadn't actually had a second thought about it, and then held it out towards her with a sly grin.

“Realised I couldn’t come bearing just one gift.” He told her, widening his eyes and prodding the envelope closer so that she’d finally get the hint and take it. Her fingers grasped it carefully, like she was wary he’d snatch it back.

Then her warm eyes met his own again, “Matty.”

He didn’t think he would ever get used to the sound of her saying his name. No matter how she said it.

Matty straightened at it though, already knowing she’d try to give it on back before even opening the thing, and waved her on, “Go on, it’s right rude to deny a present, you know?”

That spurred a soft laugh out of her, ever entertained by his absurdity. But before he could cajole her a little more, her face was lighting up with a sudden realisation, “Hang on a sec.” She said to him and then darted back down the hallway, leaving Matty blinking in her wake.

It didn’t take her all that long to return, though the suspense she’d left him with had now jumped to new heights.

“Sorry,” Squeaks smiled sheepishly, the envelope still in her hand, only weighed out now by the small bag she held in the other, “Forgot this.”

Matty was back to blinking again, startled by the fact that she had thought to get him something at all, let alone in return. “Um,” He murmured, rendered dumbstruck, before her light laughter broke him free. “If there’s something dirty in there, I will be telling your mother.”

Her eyes narrowed but her lips curved, “If you can make it to her in time.”

“Ooh sending out threats now, are we?”

That smile of hers was both devious and full of amusement, “Always.” Then she pushed the bag towards his chest, “Go on, open it.”

Matty shook his head, though he still accepted the Christmas patterned bag full of red tissue paper. “I gave you mine first, so I can’t open this ‘til you open yours.” He shook the bag to further accentuate his point.

“That's how it works, is it?” Squeaks commented, eyes creasing in her mirth, but Matty was as stubborn as they came and met her stare head on. “Fine,” She relented with a gentler smile, as though she already knew she wouldn’t win this particular battle, and moved to hold the envelope between them, thumbing the seal. “But this better be something nice, Matty. If it’s stupid I will toss you out.”

He laughed at the fact that they were already standing by the door, “Already are, sweetheart. But nah, you’re alright. Just hoping you’ll like it.” 

Those eyes of hers flickered between his own again, left, right, then like ripping off a plaster she opened the envelope within a blink. As she grasped at the pages tucked within, Matty felt his resolve crumble somewhat, vaguely embarrassed by the many emotions he currently felt warring within him and the fact that he couldn’t wage how Mouse might react.

But all those thoughts and feelings were immediately sidelined when he heard her gasp, this breathy little thing that echoed in the small space between them and had Matty’s mind reeling.

“Matty.”

He reckoned that if he could get away with asking her to only say his name again, exactly like that, he’d record it and give it its own side on their next album. Fuck anyone who’d argue otherwise.

Her expression was one Matty had never witnessed on Mouse before. He’d seen her surprised (that day he’d turned up out of the blue at the studio), seen her happy (messing about with Teddy on Facetime, listening to the boy ramble and rant), he’d seen her awkward and stressed (at that charity event where he’d been all but glued to her side), and he’d also seen her tired (when those late night calls of theirs had ended with bleary eyes and sweet smiles).

Matty swallowed at the heavy feeling he felt corrode his chest.

“I can’t take these, Matty.” She argued, all but pulling him back to the present when she tried to hand the gift back to him.

He swatted her arm away, shaking his head with a tiny smile. “You can take them. What the fuck am I gonna do with 'em otherwise?”

She rolled her eyes but let his hand linger on the back of her own. “It’s way too much. I mean, how did you even manage it, how’d you even know?”

Matty laughed at that, “You’re really asking how I knew? Squeaks, babe, you bring him up almost every time we talk, you sing his songs when you’re cooking on call, and you never fail to mention him on your show. Even Teddy pipes up when he’s playing on the radio!”

Mouse had the nerve to look abashed at that. “It’s still too much.”

“Of course it’s too much. But I am, if anything, extreme.” Matty snipped back, smirking.

“But it’s Billy Joel, Matty! You can’t just buy a girl tickets to go and see Billy Joel!” Squeaks immediately argued back, though Matty noticed the way her eyes shone whenever she looked down at the tickets and how her fingers toyed with the paper ever so carefully.

“You’re right,” He agreed again, surprising her, “Good thing I got you two then.”

She gave him a huffy sigh in retort, one that had him grinning. “Matty.”

“Mouse.”

Her nose scrunched then, at the use of her name or the way he'd parroted, Matty couldn’t tell. “How am I meant to compete with tickets like these?”

Matty rolled his eyes at the stupidity of that question, “You don’t, I didn’t just give you them thinking I’d get something in return, Squeaks. I want you to have them.”

He was met with a drawn out silence then, her stare drifting back and forth between the tickets, himself and then back again. “Thank you.” She finally said, looking up at him with a wonder in her eyes that made Matty question whether she’d ever just been given anything for the sake of it.

“You’re welcome, love.” The smile he wore grew when she looped her arms around his waist to pull him into a hug. 

Hugs were a rare thing with Mouse, Matty had noted, unless you were four and had a mop-full of curls then you’d best not even think about offering her one. Though he had that last bit down tap, they didn't really do that sort of thing past a greeting.

Still, hugging her settled something within him, something he couldn’t quite comprehend but allowed to wander all the same.

She squeezed his middle once before they parted again and Matty did his best to ignore the slight sheen her eyes now held and the way she slyly wiped at her nose. “Really, Matty. It means so much.”

Matty felt his heart stutter at the tender look she wore, then smiled. “Just make sure you send me the odd video, alright? Or at least a pic of you all dressed up.”

She laughed when he winked but he didn’t let it deter him. He wasn’t a constant listener of Old Joe but a classic was a classic, and the man was exactly that.

“Won’t need to.” Squeaks told him firmly and when he raised a brow she grinned hopefully, “You’ll be coming with, won’t you?”

Of all reactions, it was baffling to Matty that he had not expected that.

“Me?” He asked her, needing her to clarify.

“I don’t see no one else standing here.” She snorted, but her grin dampened all too quickly at the expression that must’ve been plastered on his face. “You don’t have to, I know you’re busy and got stuff going. Just thought…”

She finished that with a needless shrug which had Matty reaching out, hand cupping her right cheek, fingers slipping gently into her hair, it was soft. “‘Course I’ll come. Nothing could stop me.”

Her eyes had widened momentarily at the unexpected touch, Matty was quick to notice, but couldn’t bring himself to pull away just yet, especially when her face softened and she leaned ever so slightly into his hold.

–

‘Course I’ll come. Nothing could stop me.

Those words played on a loop in my head for the rest of the day, taking me through into the late evening where I was currently stood in the kitchen making another round of tea. Chamomile for mam, green for me.

The words were a promise I couldn’t quite find myself believing.

Too many people had promised me things; promised to keep my secrets, promised to keep me safe, promised to be there, promised to come. But only a fair few had ever followed through.

Matty was an anomaly though.

In himself, and in everything he said and did.

It always left me thinking, wondering...

It was just as I was stirring the honey into the mug that wasn't mine that I startled at the soft brush I felt beside me.

“I was just coming.” I attempted to say, glancing over at my mum who now stood beside me at the counter, gazing out the tiny kitchen window.

She waved me off with a tender smile, taking over honey duty as she slid her cup closer. “Your mind has been elsewhere today.” She accused me and immediately I felt my hackles rise, ready to jump into defence mode, but she merely casted me a careless look. “You never mentioned this Matty before.”

The change of subject threw me, enough that I frowned and was quiet until she wandered on over to take perch at the table with both our drinks. I blinked, feeling the fight drain out of me, then followed after her.

The chair scraped against the tiles as I pulled it free and I cringed at the silence that followed, hoping it hadn’t stirred Teddy who had not long fallen asleep down the hall.

When the quiet remained, I finally took my seat, wrapping my fingers around the warm mug and pulling it in nearer. “I didn’t think to.” I told her, the lie tasting bitter on my tongue. I was quick to drown it in tea.

My mum merely hummed, sipping elegantly at her chamomile. “He seems comfortable here. Teddy likes him too.”

I chewed the inside of my cheek. Thinking about earlier, the present Matty had gifted me, the one I’d given him in turn.

I could still feel the press of his hand against my cheek. So gentle, I’d almost wanted to break.

“They met about a week ago, an accident really.”

She hummed again, staring off ahead, and so I picked up my mug to keep myself from talking any more.

It had felt wrong, not getting Matty a present, which seemed so strange considering the circumstances. On how we’d only known each other a few short months. But I still couldn’t find it in me to ignore the feeling.

I could recall his face when he’d finally pulled away to peer into the gift bag I’d handed him, he’d been chewing on lip trying to dampen the sincerity of his smile...

Wary and still reeling off of the tender moment we’d just shared, I fidgeted with the envelope I held in my hand. It looked to be black but in the light it shone blue. It felt expensive, though I could see the way it had been fidgeted with, or held, like someone had kept picking it up only to put it down again.

Matty opened the bag with the same fragility I’d shown his envelope, rustling the tissue paper inside without much fanfare.

When he pulled the woolly item out from inside I felt all too stupid. What were his concert tickets to see one of my favourite musicians compared to a simple hat? I fretted.

I fish mouthed for a brief moment when his fingers swiped over the soft material, before my eyes finally darted up to meet his honeyed brown. 

“You got cold, that time we took you to the park. Teddy said it would be good for the next time we go.” I stumbled slightly, it wasn’t the whole truth, no. But I wouldn’t dare mention the hours I’d spent searching for the right one, none of them feeling anything like ‘Matty’ until I’d seen this redcurrant coloured beanie.

He stared down at the gift for a long second, leaving me to wallow in my pitiful gift and the hastily given thought behind it, before he smiled. It was kind and it was genuine and it had the air fleeing from my lungs.

“Well, I’ll wear it and think of you both.” Matty murmured breathily, his voice catching ever so slightly on that last word. I swallowed thickly and without thinking took his hand in mine.

He looked down at the joined pair and smiled, but our quiet moment was then interrupted by rather loud strumming that echoed out.

Shocked, we both jumped a tad at the sound but then laughed, listening to Teddy call for his Mémé to watch him play.

I went to let go and Matty almost let me before he lightly tugged my hand closer, pressing the woolly hat into my palm. “Put it on for me?”

Blinking, I grasped the beanie tighter and watched as his hand fell away. I nodded when I glanced back up at him, his eyes watching me closely, then stepped forward, fumbling to carefully place my envelope in the back pocket of my jeans before fixing the hat over the top of his dark unruly curls.

Having to tiptoe, I let my thumb skim the brim of it, just above the skin of his brow, so that I could fix it a tad. Then peered into his warm eyes once more, “There you go.”

Matty smiled, and oh did I love seeing him smile.

We didn’t speak as he roped me into another hug, arms latching around one another's middles. We didn’t share many of those but somehow they always felt right, and then when he stepped away I felt the faint graze of his lips against my cheek.

His fingers were catching the latch on the front door before I could even react, his smile still there, his eyes now shining with some sort of emotion I couldn’t place.

“Merry Christmas, Squeaks.”

I came back to then, at the feel of my mother’s hand cradling mine atop the kitchen table, my head turned to search her tender stare. “Glowing, ma chérie.” She reminded me and oddly, I felt caught.

“Maman.” I whispered, looking away, but all she did was gently pat the back of my hand before pulling back.

“Petit à petit, l'oiseau fait son nid.” Was all that she said, throwing me back to days spent when I’d only been a little girl curled up in her lap.

Little by little, the bird makes its nest.

Slowly but surely things will change. I just had to remind myself that change wasn’t always a bad thing.

[grocerystoredean]

hello gentlemen ladies and those unassociated. go listen to los campesinos new ep its so fucking good . 

[blipblooopp]

Let It Be Me

Summary: Choi San is many things. The most talented man you have ever seen. Be it on the dance floor or in front of a mic during a gig. He was the kindest person, always holding the door for the people behind him, helping the elderly carry things, even paying for strangers randomly. He got along famously with your parents and even better with your grandparents. He was charming like that, capturing the attention of anyone and everyone who even looked his way. He’s the love of your life, you’re sure of it but he’s also your best friend. Pairing: Boy Band AU!Choi San x F!Reader Words: 5.6k Genre: Angst/Smut

You’ve heard of a thing called platonic soulmates but it’s taken you years and years of watching Choi San grow to realize you weren’t. Well, you hoped you weren’t. Everything about him made your body erupt into a fire.

San looked at everything with adoration, finding all the good in life, including you. It was a double-edged sword, really. It made you feel special… important. But you could barely concentrate when his eyes were on you.

It didn’t help that he was gifted in pretty much everything; it made you nervous beyond belief. He’s pretty much perfect and as much as you wanted to be with him, you knew the odds of him liking you back were slim to none.

You’ve come to terms with it for the most part. It hurt to see him flirt with girls in front of you, hurt even worse when he started dating this awful girl named Areum. She didn’t give a fuck about him, actually. She barely responded to his calls and texts, going as far as blocking him one time. They fought nonstop. Every time you two hung out, San had a new dilemma to talk about. For some reason, San wouldn’t break up with her.

You had asked him after a night of you two getting drunk together, after another night of listening to his relationship problems. He laughed dryly, taking another sip of his beer, “I love her so much.”

Apparently, it was his “slow-motion” moment. He and his band had been wrapping up the night with their last song, soaking up every second they could have. Halfway through the song, San had noticed Areum in the front row. You were there too so you noticed the look on his face. A look you had never seen him make before. It basically tore your heart out when he told you that he couldn’t get “that beautiful girl” out of his head. She ended up becoming a dedicated face in the crowd so San asked her out.

You would’ve thought they were soulmates from the way they looked in the beginning. Lord only knows how they got to this point. How you got to this point, with San crying in your lap.

It was 10:00 pm when someone started banging on your door. You were enjoying a cup of coffee but you almost had a heart attack at that moment. You opened the door with shaking hands, hoping that whatever killer was on the side wasn’t actually a killer. Instead, you saw your best friend, with swollen red eyes, sniffling.

“Oh my god, San! You scared— what’s wrong?” You immediately dragged him in, locking the door behind you. He sniffled again as he slumped into your couch. You took a seat next to him and took his hand in yours. “Was it another fight?” You knew it wasn’t. In all the fights you had heard, San never cried.

“She was cheating on me… this whole time.” He hiccuped as he talked.

“That bitch.” You said under your breath. You held onto his hand a little tighter, trying to contain your anger.

“I went to her house tonight because she wasn’t responding to me again. I wanted to talk it out with her but she opened her front door in her underwear with some motherfucker sitting on her couch!” Although you had many words to say with Areum, you were speechless in front of San. What were you supposed to say? All you could do was scoot back on the couch and guide San's head onto a pillow in your lap.

“It’s gonna be okay.” You ran your fingers through his hair, “You can cry for as long as you want.”

And cry he did.

____

The next morning was hard. You woke up on your couch sitting up-right with a terrible case of stiff-neck. That’s not the only reason it was hard. No, it was worse seeing San still laying on your lap. He was wide-awake, dark eye bags contrasting against his face. His eyes stared deep into the ceiling.

“What’re you thinking about, Sannie?” You started to run your fingers through his hair again and watched as his eyes fluttered shut, his body instantly relaxing.

His eyes opened again, “Why didn’t she love me?” You couldn’t respond, not that he let you. “I knew we weren’t perfect, knew she wasn’t perfect… but we always made it through the end of the day. I can’t believe she would do this to me.”

“It’s her loss.” You finally said. “You don’t need her anyway. It was her decision to cheat and you had nothing to do with it.”

San didn’t say anything after that, just continued to stare at your ceiling.

___

The first few weeks were the hardest for sure. San had spent most of them at your place, barely leaving even for band practice. When he did practice with the guys he would leave early, only strumming a few chords on his guitar before deciding that it reminded him too much of Areum.

“He’s been really out of it.” Yunho, the bassist commented one time. San hadn’t even played that day. He just sat in the corner for an hour. You stayed behind for a few minutes and told San to wait in the car. You wanted to catch up with the other band members.

“Can you blame him? That bitch was… well, a bitch.” Wooyoung shot back, setting his drum sticks down.

“How has he been holding up?” Hongjoong asked.

You scoffed, “Have you seen the man? I don’t even think San’s there anymore! God, if I see her, it’s on sight!”

You did your best to help him through those weeks. You had been through a few hard breakups in the past so you understood that the early stages were the worst. You even used up all of your sick time to stay home with him. You had never seen him this gloomy. At one point, he went through five pints of ice cream in three days.

____

It took three months for San to be even remotely okay. He started going to practice more and this time, he actually played. You couldn't say you were surprised. San loved playing with the band and you knew it was probably the only thing that would bring him out of his funk.

"You look good, man!" Hongjoong slapped his hand on San's back playfully and for the first time in months, San had his usual dimpled smile.

"I feel good." He replied, setting down his guitar and taking a seat next to you on the beat-up couch. "It's thanks to you, y/n"

Your eyes widened. "Me?"

He nodded. "You stayed up with me, didn't go to work, even made me breakfast when you knew I didn't have the energy to get off your couch."

You couldn't lie; your heart was racing. All you could do was stare back into his eyes with a goofy smile painted on your face. San put his hand on your thigh, skinship being normal between you two, especially within these past months.

Your friendship remained just that, a friendship, for the next month. You were okay with this, though. At least you had a small sliver of hope now that he was single. That tiny bit of hope that he'd love you back was able to tide you over.

Until one night.

San had come over for your weekly movie nights, an event you had been doing since high school but stopped doing because his ex got jealous easily. You tried calming your nerves as you sat next to each other, his arm wrapped around you.

You were so close you could smell his cologne. It was intoxicating. Maybe it was the fact that he was newly single now, filling up your thoughts even more recently, but his entire presence was overwhelming tonight.

“You alright, beautiful?” Since San was single now, his usual playful flirty side was coming out again. Just like everything else about him, you had a love-hate relationship with it. It doesn't mean anything. You had to remind yourself. He talked like this with everyone, especially when he wanted to get a rise out of his bandmates.

You gulped when you looked up at him. How could a man have this effect on you? You would think that after years of unrequited love, you'd be able to at least contain yourself. “Yeah.”

San gave you a dimpled smile, shifting his gaze to a piece of your hair, moving it behind your ear. Your mouth parts, probably to say something but you can't be too sure right now. If someone walked in, they would think you guys are about to kiss. Maybe you are... you want to kiss him.

With your heart pounding in your ears, you slowly lean forward, keeping your eyes on his lips. They look too good not to look at but you're also scared of seeing the look in his eyes, the potential disgust that might be taking over at the thought of your lips touching his.

Everything is moving in slow motion. From your hand caressing his cheek to the moment your lips make contact. He's stiff against you and you can only imagine that it's because he's uncomfortable. You start to pull away, dreading the awkward conversation you're about to have but San is quick. His hand grips your thigh and he's kissing you back with fervor.

Your head is spinning, Is this really happening? These sparks you're feeling all over your body, does he feel the same way? You push away any thoughts you're having, trying to focus on keeping up with San. You needed to enjoy this moment. Without realizing it, you swing your leg and straddle San's lap. He groans underneath you but before you can question it, he's giving you a reassuring squeeze on your waist.

You don't want to take the initiative of going further, but man, your hands are burning to touch his bare skin. Your hands, instead, rest on his shoulders, gripping and releasing every few seconds. As if he was reading your mind, San's hands move to the hem of your shirt and for the first time, you break the kiss.

The second your shirt passes your head, San's moving to kiss your neck, occasionally sucking to leave hickies that are sure to last a whole week. You're breathless, taking this as a sign to take off San's shirt. Your hands are all over each other, San's going from your cheek to unbuttoning your jeans, your fingers feeling his abs contract under your touch.

It feels like a flash. San suddenly laying you down on your bed, both of your clothes littered behind you on the floor, his lips still on your neck. It's only when he's about to insert himself does he stop and look at you with dark eyes. He doesn't give you enough time to question it, pushing himself inside you. You both gasp at the feeling.

"Fuck, you're so tight!" He grips your hip with one hand, the other holding the headboard like his life depends on it. He feels like he'll burst any second.

You're right there with him though, the mere feelings of this moment making you sensitive. "You're just big. Holy shit!"

It takes him a second, taking a moment to give both of you a moment to adjust before he moves inside you. You can't contain the sounds coming out of you as he hits all the right spots with ease. You couldn't have pegged San to have this big of a dick, yet here he was.

Before you can realize it, your hands are finding purchase on his back and your nails are sinking into his skin. He hisses above you but his thrusts get harsher and the moaning in your ear doesn't get any quieter.

"You feel so good... so warm and tight for me." He's practically whimpering into your neck. You try to keep your cool, trying not to cum so fast but he's hitting that spot inside you with ease.

Your nails dig into him deeper, "S-san," You stutter out. "Close... so close."

"I know... but you gotta wait for me. Can you do that?" His thrusts get faster and deeper, you don't even comprehend his words properly.

"Can you do that for me, pretty girl? Be a good girl for me?" He's using both hands to clench onto the headboard now, the force making it harder to not cum. You just nod and wrap your legs around his waist. San is drilling into you with so much force and he's hoping that the bed isn't going to break. After a few more thrusts, he starts to get sloppy, and your vision's crossing.

"Alright, beautiful. Cum for me." He grunts out, trying not to cum at the feeling of you clenching around him. You finally let the waves of pleasure course through you, seeing stars. If you were lucid, you most definitely would have been embarrassed by the noises coming out of your mouth and your pussy.

With a loud sigh, San pulls out of you and releases onto your stomach. Almost immediately, he’s up and cleaning you, you’re body’s too tired to do anything but lay there. You’re surprised, because instead of leaving, San lays next to you, even going as far as pulling you close to him.

You have so much on your mind but you're too tired now.

____

This goes on for weeks. Sometimes you would hang out. Sometimes do other things. Everything happened so fast. The friendship that you held so dear had become a muddled mess of lust and confusion. You obviously still had feelings for San but you had no idea where he stood.

You'd never even talked about the first time you guys had sex. When you woke up he was gone and when you saw each other again, he acted like nothing had happened. You didn't want to be that clingy girl who expected a relationship so you never brought it up. Now you're in this endless cycle of sleeping with each other and never addressing the elephant in the room.

What didn't help was how San was acting differently. He was much more touchy with you, always having to touch you in some way whenever you were together. His hand on your thigh, holding your hand, arm around your shoulder, he did it all. Before the incident, you would have considered him touchy but that's nothing compared to him now.

Your hangouts started to become more elaborate as well. You guys were actually going out to movies instead of watching Netflix at your house. Small coffee shop hangouts started becoming intimate dinners. It was like you guys were dating. These dates gave you hope that he would eventually open up and ask you out properly but you didn't want to force it out of him. So, you just decided to go with whatever he wanted.

"Let's go ice-skating." The handsome man suggested his left-hand steering and his right hand on your thigh.

"You know I can't ice-skate." You deadpan, getting distracted by your fingers playing with his.

He glances at you with a honey-sweet smile before bringing his eyes back to the road. "I can teach you, ya know."

"Please, you just want to see me fall so you can laugh at me."

"That too."

San taught you how to ice-skate for maybe ten minutes. After that, he decided that it would be best to let you learn through trial and error.

"San, I'm literally gonna fall on my face!" You cried, your legs shaking as you attempted to walk on the ice.

"You're doing great. Just try skating to me." He held out his hand for you. Every time you got even remotely close to him, however, he would slowly start backing up. You were struggling around the rink but he made sure to sprinkle in encouragements so you wouldn't be too mad at him.

Just when you thought you were doing good, you got too cocky and propelled yourself towards San, wanting so desperately to close that gap. Your feet weren't pointed straight enough causing your left skate to hit your right, tripping you onto the ice.

"Holy shit, y/n! Are you alright?" San appears in front of you with seconds. Helping you up with ease. Your knees ache and you could feel the bruise forming on your hip.

“Did you not see me eat shit?” You bark out, now gripping his arm for dead life.

“I did but it’s always polite to ask.” You slap his arm playfully as he guides you off the ice and onto the benches. “Are you actually okay?”

You shook your head and pouted like a child. San chuckled to himself, seeing right through you. Instead of saying anything, he pecked your lips innocently and took a seat next to you. It was the first time he’s kissed you in public which only confused you further. Is he doing this on purpose? You really had to ask him.

You’re too lost in your thoughts to see San staring at you. It’s not until he’s moving a piece of hair out of your face that you’re snapped out of your thoughts. You jolt slightly and hum at him in response. He just shakes his head and returns his gaze to the people skating.

It was your turn to stare at him, to memorize his features for the nth time. He’s just as beautiful as he was two seconds ago and the butterflies are still strong. You open your mouth to question him about your relationship, finally building up the courage just when…—

“San? Is that you?” You freeze. Her, you think. That manipulative bitch.

“Areum?” San stands as if he’s been caught doing something bad like a child. She offers him a warm smile, completely disregarding you as always. You feel like you did during the concert. His eyes are no longer on you… but trained on her. You feel that distance he created on the ice growing bigger and bigger.

“What’re you doing here?” The man asks, still shocked to see her.

“Ah, I was just walking around.” The nerve of this girl to act like she didn’t do anything wrong. “What’re you doing here?” Her eyes land on you but she quickly looks back at him.

You stand this time. “We’re…” Don’t say it. Don’t be petty. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “On a date.” You entwine your arm with San’s.

Areum’s lip twitches in annoyance. “Oh?” She quirks a brow and glances at San. “Is this true?”

San freaks out without thinking and shakes his arm from yours. “No!— I mean like a friendly date, sure. We’re just hanging out like old times.”

There’s your answer.

His ex smiles with victory at your defeated state. “Well, we should catch up, San. I know we ended things on a bad note but I think we should talk.”

The car ride home was awfully silent. Usually, they were filled with laughter and off-key singing but tonight, you gave San short answers in his poor attempt to talk. When you entered your apartment, you told him you were going to bed early and that he should lock up when he leaves.

Instead, you feel his warm body climb into your bed and hold you at 12 am. As always, you didn’t tell him to leave. Because, as always, you couldn’t say no to Choi San.

____

You wake up and San's not next to you but there is a text.

San : Sorry I didn't want to wake you but I left to go to practice. It'll probably end late today so if you feel up to it, come hang out. :)

Should you? Maybe it's just better if you pretend like nothing happened. Obviously, that's what he's doing. Besides, it’s not like his bandmates gave you false hope just to reject you in front of their ex. You end up going to the practice, a huge lump in your throat. If you brought up the situation, you're sure that whatever you guys had would be over the second you said anything.

Jongho, the lead singer, greets you with a smile and a nod in your direction as he warms up.

"y/n!" Wooyoung calls out, getting off of his drum stool and engulfing you in a hug.

You giggle on command, loving his enthusiasm. “Wooyoung, why do you always act like we haven’t seen each other for years!”

He smiles and whispers, “Don’t tell the guys I told you, but you’re like… our muse!”

You roll your eyes and pull away from his chest just to look at him, “I think you’re the only one crazy enough to even consider that.”

Wooyoung lets you go completely and returns to his drum set, you follow suit. “Maybe but you’ve been our number one supporter since day one! Plus you’re beautiful and beauty inspires art, does it not?”

Laughter erupts from you again at his cheesiness and your feel an arm wrap around your shoulder. You didn’t have to look to know who it was, the signature cologne giving him away.

“What’s so funny?” San’s smiling but you can tell there’s something different in his tone.

“Just exposing how important y/n is to the band.” Wooyoung sends you a playful wink, your cheeks burning slightly. San forces a laugh, something you don’t notice, before sitting you down on the couch.

After practice was over, you waited outside of the room for San so you could go back to your place. That wasn't the original plan but San insisted. The chilly air made you wrap your arms around yourself, internally scolding yourself over not bringing a jacket.

Wooyoung was the first to come out, fishing his lighter out of his pocket. He wasn't the only cigarette smoker in the group but he was definitely the one that smoked the most. He grinned at the sight of you, resting his hand in his pocket instead.

"Why're you waiting out here? It's cold as hell."

"Yeah... But I didn't want to get in your guys' way." You rubbed your hands up and down your arms trying to create heat. Wooyoung took off his jacket and wrapped it around you without hesitation. "A true gentleman." You remarked.

He put his hand on his chest, his face contorting to look hurt. "I've always been a gentleman. Even when I'm freezing my ass off."

Your eyes widened, ready to give the jacket back. "Woah there, missy. I gave it to you for a reason. We don't want our muse to die of hypothermia." The joke makes you laugh lightly. "You waiting on San?"

You nod, staring at the ground and rocking back and forth on the balls of your feet. “It’s been a lot of waiting recently.” You accidentally confess.

“Uh oh.” He leans against the wall. "I noticed something was different."

"What do you mean?" You hear your heartbeat through your ears and you find it hard to breathe all of a sudden.

"You guys are a lot closer... You guys are best friends, sure, but the air's been different between you two. He still doesn't notice how you look at him."

You scoff, "That obvious, huh?"

"To everyone but him, it seems. Can I be honest?" Wooyoung rolls to face you. You nod, now looking at him. "Unless you tell him how you feel, you'll be doing nothing but waiting on him."

"But our friendship-"

"If you're about to tell me that it's enough for you, so help me God, y/n, I will kick your ass." You laugh for the first time since the conversation started. You understand what you have to do. You guys have already crossed so many boundaries and clearly, he feels something for you, right?

The door to the practice room swings open and this time it's Yeosang and San. San's bright smile seems to falter as his eyes instantly land on the jacket that's wrapped around you. His eyes shift between you and the drummer then he strides to you, grabbing your wrist.

"Let's go?" You don't have time to answer. San's practically ripping the jacket off of you and throwing it at Wooyoung who barely catches it. This time, you don't miss the change in his tone. He replaces Wooyoung's jacket with his hoodie, not saying a word as he puts it on you.

Just like the night before, the tension in the car is thick but unlike last night, it's you who's trying to spark a conversation. San's knuckles are turning white as he drives and it's starting to worry you. You've never seen San this upset before and you're still trying to place the reasoning. Was it jealousy?

You pull up to the house, expecting him to follow you like he always does but he doesn't. Instead, he leaves the engine running and his eyes on the street. For some reason, this sets you off. This man had the audacity to pull away from you, act like you were just a friend in front of the ex that cheated on him, but gets jealous over you casually talking to another guy?

You scoff and unbuckle your seatbelt, stepped out of the car, and slammed the door shut. San was feeling extra temperamental tonight. He couldn't understand why he felt like this either. Maybe he was looking for a fight. He turned off the engine and followed you inside. Before you could close and lock the door, he stepped into your house.

"What is your problem?" You asked venomously.

"What is your problem?"

"I didn't have any problem until you decided to get all confusing!" You dropped your tote bag on the floor, turning to face him fully.

"I'm confusing? Are kidding me?" He huffs out, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"Actually, I'm not. You've been driving me nuts since we started hooking up. I'm over it!" His lip twitches into a sarcastic smile. "What the fuck was that with your ex? You completely pushed me aside. She treated you like shit, remember? She cheated, she lied, and she manipulated you. Do you want to get back to-"

"You're not my girlfriend, y/n!" He cut you off. "God, it's like you don't know your place." Tears pricked your eyes but you felt more angry than sad. Angry, you've never felt this way with San before. You're experiencing a lot of firsts tonight. San immediately realizes what he said, how hurt you were. He took a step closer to you but you put up your hands, putting up your boundaries for the first time.

"No, you're right. It's not like you hold my hand wherever we go or put your hands on my waist in public. You don't smile at me sweetly during dates. We're not completely vulnerable with each other, telling each other things we'd never breathe to others. It's not like we fuck almost every day! Do friends do what we do? Please, enlighten me. What's my place?"

"I'm sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have-" You're full-on bawling now, sucking in breaths where you can.

"I can't believe I've loved you for so long. I've torn my heart out for you and you just... you just throw it back at me like it's nothing!" His mouth opens but nothing comes out, instead he wraps his arms around you. You react once you feel him, trying to fight him off but he's stronger, trying to calm you down by hugging you.

You're screaming, all the feelings you've held inside bursting out of you, "Why can't you let me in?" You start to pound on your chest even though you know you shouldn't. You don't even notice that he's crying too. "Why can't it be me for once? Let it be me!"

"I'm sorry," He coos. You couldn't hold yourself up anymore, your feelings making it hard to focus. San catches you though, guiding you to sit on the floor.

San does his best to understand what you're saying through your sobs. He wants to understand what he's feeling. He thought he was doing this to get over Areum but why was he doing all the other things? He could've just stuck to the bare minimum but he didn't. Better question, how had he not noticed your feelings?

San was so caught in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed you had cried yourself to sleep. He was holding your head to his chest and he sighed, finally relaxing a bit. He couldn't really relax though, his mind still processing what you had said. He carried you bridal style to your room and thanking God that you had exhausted yourself.

San tucked you in and, after some hard debating, decided to lay in bed with you. He made sure that he wasn't touching you even though he knew he was going to leave before you woke up. He sighed to himself.

Even as you slept you were beautiful and he beat himself up for only now noticing how exhausted you looked. The man never understood why he was so willing and ready to sleep with you. He could acknowledge that there was steaming sexual tension but he never thought it would get this far. Nevertheless, you guys were in this situation; the very foggy area between friends and more.

Is this how you felt, absolutely terrified? You guys certainly couldn't go back to being friends after everything that's happened between you two. San's body started to shake as he silently cried. He couldn't even comprehend how much pain he's put you through these last few months.

____

You're not surprised to find your bed empty the next day; you wouldn't be surprised if San had sent you a message ending your friendship and promptly blocking you. You stare at your ceiling with tears already prickling your eyes. You weren't going to check your phone for texts. You just went to work.

The day went by fast, your boss giving you plenty of work to distract yourself. You were doing just fine until you pulled up to your apartment to find Wooyoung waiting to knock on your door.

"Wooyoung?" The man turned around, almost like a deer in headlights.

"Oh- Hey!" He quickly put his hands in his jean pockets. You walked to your door silently, unlocking the front door and inviting him in.

“What can I help you with?” You try to be casual even though all you’re thinking about is San and how you know Wooyoung’s here to soothe whatever problem you guys are having.

“I’m gonna cut to the chase. Talk to San. It’s only been a day of you two fighting and all of us are tired of him sulking.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“He came into practice looking all down and he didn’t talk to any of us. He just went through practice barely saying ten words throughout the whole thing.”

"How do you know this has something to do with me?"

“… Do I look blind to you? Everyone knows something’s going on between you two.” Wooyoung sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “Look, I don’t know what happened but I’m sure it was probably his fault. I’m not saying you should forgive him right away but just talk to him. Please?”

——

So now, here you are, outside his door. You took in a deep breath before knocking hard on his door. You couldn’t muster the courage to ask if he was home but there was no practice so you hoped for the best.

The door unlocked within a few minutes. “y/n?”

“H-Hi,” You stuttered out, feeling the weight on your shoulders get heavier. “Can I come in?”

San gestures you inside and you take a seat on his couch. There’s an awkward silence when he joins you and you can’t recall any other time it’s been like this. It was so easy to talk to San before but now you can’t even form a sentence.

“So—“

“What’d—“

You said at the same time.

“You first.” San breathed.

“I just figured we had a lot to talk about.”

"Right..." He brushed off his legs with a sigh.

"I like you, San- actually, I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for so long and we slept together and it got messy. We've never talked about what we were after that night. You just made me a rebound and I turned the other way..."

His eyes burnt into your face and you were too scared to meet them. "I'm sorry. I never meant to put you in that kind of situation. I shouldn't have been so selfish. I didn't think about the way you were feeling."

San's warm hand grabs yours. "I'm so sorry that it's taken me so long to see how you feel about me. I'm so sorry I said that you didn't know where your place was. Your place..." He takes a big deep breath, making you look at him, "Your place is right next to me. I lost you for one day and in that one day, I've realized what you really mean to me. I'm in love with you, y/n."

He places his hand on your cheek, wiping away a tear you didn't even notice. You're falling apart at his touch but you were so happy that he felt the same way and- Oh my god! Choi San was in love with you!

"You just said you were in love with me." You breathed, a smile breaking out on your lips.

"I did, didn't I?" He chuckles, closing the distance between your faces. Your breath hitches. "Are you going to give me a chance to love you for real this time?"

Your heart is going to burst and you don't really give it much thought.

"Yes."

[tklpilled]

i hope this song finds you well (oh noel)

summary: tommy has a gift for wilbur.

a/n: merry christmas to those who celebrate it :]

—

Wilbur always used to make music.

It was just his thing. Even if he wasn’t actually playing anything, he’d hum something, or tap his fingers to a beat. Always something.

Since he’s been back, he doesn’t do that anymore. It feels wrong.

When he had been revived, and when Tommy had started being around him, he always felt off, like something was missing. It didn’t take long to realise that Wilbur was too quiet. Wilbur was never quiet. It just wasn’t right.

Luckily, Tommy is the best problem solver ever. Christmas is coming up, and while it doesn’t have as much of a fun aura as it did before, tradition is tradition, and Tommy has the perfect gift in mind.

Wilbur’s guitar was definitely destroyed at some point, in one of the multiple explosions and destructions of L’manburg. It takes a little searching, going from village to village, but eventually Tommy manages to get one that looks a lot like what Wilbur used to have.

(He looks at it for a little too long and it takes him back to blackstone walls surrounding an unmoving van. He tries not to look at it too much after that.)

Tommy thinks he should be spending the day with Tubbo, because Prime knows he needs the company. He thinks he should spend the day with someone he knows won’t hurt him, even though those options are very limited.

He seeks Wilbur out anyway.

(He pretends he doesn’t know that it’s because deep down, he wants to believe Wilbur won’t hurt him again.)

“It’s for you,” Tommy urges. “Open it.”

He’d found Wilbur near Las Nevadas, where he always seems to be, and had guided him to sit down to open his gift. Wilbur had looked surprised, as though he hadn’t expected to see Tommy, or to receive a gift. Tommy’s not sure which one.

Wilbur removes the wrapping paper gently, careful not to tear it, like a prick. A small smile appears on his face, clearly sensing Tommy’s impatience.

“Oh my god, just fucking open it.”

Wilbur chuckles, continuing to open it as slowly as humanly possible. Tommy’s about to send him back to limbo.

He finally manages to tear the wrapping paper away from the box his gift rests in. He peels away the tape and lifts the lid.

He stares, and for a second Tommy’s worried he’s done something wrong. He opens his mouth to apologise.

“Thank you.”

Wilbur can’t seem to turn his wide-eyed gaze away. “I— I don’t have anything to give you in return, I’m sorry.” He gently plucks at a couple of strings.

“It’s fine. You don’t have to,” Tommy waves him off. I got this because I love you, not because I expect something in return, he doesn’t say.

Wilbur shakes his head. “I want to, though. You deserve something.” I want to try and make up for everything, he also doesn’t say.

“Wilbur.”

Wilbur slowly nods in acceptance. “Still, thank you. Thank you so much, fuck.” He’s smiling.

He’s smiling. A real smile, not just the hint of one or his dumb smirks. Tommy hasn’t seen that smile in so long, and it makes his heart ache to see more.

A thought forms in his mind. “Actually, Will. I know what you can get for me.”

“Yeah?”

“Your laugh.”

He can tell the moment Wilbur catches on to what he means, eyes widening right before Tommy’s hands latch onto his sides and send him into a fit of giggles.

“W- wait, Tommy—” he begins, but he cuts himself off with more laughter. He curls up around Tommy’s hands as they move towards his stomach, seeming unsure whether he wants it to stop or not. His laugh sounds genuine and happy, and despite the fact that it’s being forced out of him, Tommy can’t help but grin.

Wilbur only begins to squirm when Tommy targets his ribs, though he’s still not trying to push the blond away. They both needed this, it seems.

“It tihickles!” Wilbur cries out, batting lightly at Tommy’s hands.

Tommy snorts. “Yeah, that’s the point.”

Wilbur’s face is very pink now, which Tommy internally celebrates. “Plehehease!”

“Please what?” Tommy scribbles under Wilbur’s arms, making him clamp them down to his sides.

Wilbur doesn’t respond, only kicking his legs out and laughing harder.

He lets Tommy continue for a little while longer before actually pushing him away. Tommy backs off, letting him catch his breath.

“Ehevil child,” Wilbur grumbles as he adjusts his glasses. “Gremlin.”

“You’re being so dramatic.”

Wilbur rolls his eyes, his smile not quite leaving. He looks over to the guitar, still sitting in the box next to them. He reaches over and carefully takes it out, strumming it a few times. He messes around with it for a moment, adjusting the strings and getting used to it. Once he seems content, he begins to hum a tune.

Tommy sits quietly and listens as his brother starts to play a song, and he closes his eyes and pretends that he’s sixteen again.

[waybrights]

Sats au

Marcy, after a whole day of nonstop writing: *sleepily/aimlessly walks around the studio*

Sasha, sipping her her coffee in the dark: "You know it's midnight, right?"

Marcy, going completely still: *looks around confused*

okay i wrote smth for this and ik it doesn't fit the prompt exactly i hope u enjoy it anyway!!!

There was something strangely comforting about the studio, especially when the only sound was the hum of the air conditioner and there was no one around. Well, no one but Marcy. Technically, she wasn't allowed to be there, but it's not like anyone was going to kick them out. Besides, she was certain no one knew she was still there. And if they did, no one had come for them yet, so they couldn't get mad when they found her asleep on the couch in the morning.

Besides, the studio was probably one of the only places Marcy could actually focus on what she was doing. Their house was too noisy, especially since Sprig and Polly were over for the week whilst Hop Pop was away on some important trip, and her phone and laptop were there too, all easy distractions from the music she was meant to be going over. So she stayed behind, in the dark studio that had really, really, shitty wifi and an air-con that was stuck blowing cold wind into the building.

Sure, it wasn't the best and they could afford to rent out a new one, but all three of them liked the studio enough to stay, even if the couch was starting to fall apart and it was constantly just above freezing.

On one particular night, Marcy was sitting on the cold floor, one of Sasha's guitars in her lap as she tried to figure out a chord progression. No matter how many combinations she tried, it never sounded right. Sure, they could always just ask Sasha to play something for her, but Marcy knew how tired she'd been recently, and didn't want to bother her with something as trivial as a chord progression. Plus, figuring out herself might make Sasha less stressed about having to do a whole tour after not playing for months due to an injury.

She hadn't meant to stay up so late, but then again, this stupid chord progression was meant to be easy. Luckily, the coffee machine had been fixed just the day before and restocked with just about everything Marcy needed to keep her awake for an extra ten hours and she was absolutely going to take full advantage of it.

---

Marcy wasn't sure how long she'd been sat there, staring down at those stupid lines, but the notes were starting to blur together, making it all the more harder to actually figure out what they were supposed to be doing. Their fingers hurt from playing and the song was rattling around in her head, the same three lines playing on a loop, bringing Marcy closer and closer to just tearing up the sheets surrounding her.

She hadn't realised she'd been crying until a single tear fell onto the paper, it only smudged one note, but it was enough for the frustration that had been building up for the past however long to boil over.

Biting her lip to stop herself crying even more, she stood up and made a beeline for the door, because if she stayed in this stupid recording booth for any longer, Sasha would come in finding her guitar in pieces.

Swiping up the half finished coffee, Marcy stomped out of the room, blinking quickly to get rid of the tears pooling in their eyes. God this is so stupid, she thought to herself as she slammed the door open. In the back of her mind, she knew it would mark the wall, but she didn't have it in her to care. She'd probably just let everyone down. It was a simple chord progression and she couldn't even figure it out. So much for one of the best songwriters, she huffed, practically slamming the cup onto the desk.

Only, she slammed it too hard and the handle came clean off. Marcy stared at it for a few seconds, their eyes flitting between the handle closed in their fist and the mug Anne had got for her birthday on the table. "Fuck," she mumbled, pressing the handle back onto the mug as if that would magically mend it. For a moment, it looked like it was balanced, and Marcy slowly pulled her hand away, only for the handle to clatter against the desk a second later.

For the next ten minutes, Marcy tried to reattach the handle, each with less success than the last. It was pathetic really, but she was so caught up in the fact that she broke Anne's gift to her, that she didn't really have the mental capacity to care about it. So what if everyone saw her breakdown the next time they checked the security footage? That didn't matter when she'd just ruined something Anne gave her.

It was the feeling of warm hands on her own that finally got Marcy to stop. Everything seemed to drain out of her as the mug and handle were pried away from her. Vaguely, she wondered who was in the studio so late, although there was a chance she'd just spent several hours trying to force a cup back together and everyone had arrived for their final session. Either way, they didn't object as someone wrapped their arms around her waist and picked them up.

"I'm sorry," Marcy mumbled after a few minutes. It hadn't been part of her plan when she opted to stay behind to have some sort of breakdown and then cry in someone's arms, and she couldn't help feeling like she should apologise.

"Don't worry 'bout it, you looked like you needed this," Sasha's voice was a mere whisper in her ear, but it still sent Marcy's heart racing.

"Sasha?" Marcy asked, her eyes snapping open as she stared up into her band-mate's face. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," Sasha said, a small frown on her face.

"I was," they paused and looked down, resting their head against Sasha's chest. "I was trying to figure out that chord progression you were complaining about. You've been so stressed recently, and it doesn't help we're going back on tour soon and you haven't played in a while, so I thought that, maybe, if I fixed it for you, it would make you slightly less stressed," saying it out loud, she realised that maybe it wasn't her best idea, but she wanted to do something for her friends. They both did so much for her, it was high time she did something for them.

“You… you didn’t have to do that, mar-mar,” Sasha said gently, and even though she wasn’t looking, Marcy could see the smile on her face. The way Sasha’s lips twitched up and her eyes would crinkle ever so slightly, because she didn’t usually smile and when she did it was a sight to behold. “But if that’s what got you so upset…”

“No, it wasn’t that,” well, not entirely, “I just got stressed.”

“That, or you haven’t slept properly in about a week and keep sneaking off here when you think Anne and I are asleep,” Sasha said, though her voice held no anger.

Marcy felt themself go still as Sasha spoke. How did she know? Were they that obvious? No, no she couldn’t be because no one had even asked her about it before! “That’s stupid,” Marcy scoffed instead, “I’ve been sleeping perfectly fine.”

“Marce…” Sasha mumbled, her arms coming up to gently squeeze their shoulders. “You don’t have to lie to me. I won’t force you to tell me, but if you think it’ll help to get it off your shoulders I’m-” she swallowed, almost like it was hard to admit that she was there for Marcy. “I’m always here, whenever you need. Even if it is 1 am on the shitty studio couch,” she ended lightly. Marcy giggled and moved slightly to bring a hand up to where Sasha was drawing random shapes on their bicep.

“Thank you, Sash, seriously,” they said, threading their fingers together. “And I will tell you, both of you, just not right now.”

“It’s okay,” Sasha whispered, very obviously trying to hold back a yawn, “I’ll wait for as long as you need.”

Marcy smiled and pressed the pad of her thumb against Sasha’s. “Are you excited? For next week?”

“Hmm?” Sasha hummed, her body jerking ever so slightly as she woke up. “Yeah, but I’m also nervous, y’know?” she mumbled, slowly waving her lightly bandaged hand around. “I haven’t played in a while, so I don’t want to mess up or anything.”

“You won’t,” Marcy mumbled, her eyes growing heavy as they sat there, Sasha’s warmth creating a bubble of sorts, where nothing could get to her. “You’re really great, Sash, you’ll be amazing.”

When no response came, Marcy slowly lifted her head, only to find Sasha fast asleep against the arm of the couch. It looked uncomfortable, and they knew she would complain in the morning, but she looked so relaxed and Marcy didn’t want to ruin that for anything. So she slowly shifted so she was laying down, their head on Sasha’s lap and her arms wrapped tightly around Sasha’s waist. “Night, Sash.”

[lazywonderlvnd]

Imagine Harry learning to play the guitar after the war and Draco finds out when they start dating and is obv a slut for it. Anyway what I'm here to beg for is sexy-guitar-player-Harry smut please and thank

first of all nonners I’m so sorry this took me lit rally 59 years to answer!!!! when I saw it in my inbox last week I was abt to answer n be like yes. this. And then realized it needed to be written and got sidetracked w the first himbo harry installment but here it is now and let me just SAY this trope is my new FAVORITE thing in the world oh my goddddd when I tell u the way I’ve been yelling to glows and cielia abt it 👁👄👁

highly recommend listening to wonderwall when it comes up to Complete the Experience. hope u enjoy ❤️

“I’m sorry, he what?”

“Yeah, he’s really good,” said Weasley. He nodded towards the acoustic guitar hanging on the wall; Draco had taken notice of it the first time he’d seen Harry’s flat but never paid it much mind after that, taking it for decoration, or perhaps an unused gift. “He’ll play if you ask him. He doesn’t like showing off.”

“Which is silly,” Granger said, rolling her eyes. “I’ve told him, just because he’s good at it doesn’t make it showing off. I wish he’d play for people more often.”

“He has literally never mentioned this to me.” He felt utterly stunned and completely cheated. He tried to picture it and couldn’t. “How long’s he been playing?”

“Picked it up after the war. It was kind of funny, actually  --” Weasley started saying, but Harry came back into the room -- still pulling his shirt on -- and he broke off, giving Draco a significant look that told him to bring it up.

“Harry,” said Draco imperiously, to which he received two raised eyebrows as Harry fell into his favourite armchair and pushed a hand through his still-damp curls. Draco matched his expression and glanced at the guitar. Harry followed his gaze, looking genuinely confused.

“What, what is it?”

“When were you going to tell me you play?”

“What, guitar?”

“Yes, guitar.”

He shrugged and grabbed for one of the beers on the table, wandlessly magicking the cap off. “I dunno. When it came up, I guess.”

“The way your friends tell it you’re quite good.”

Harry gave Weasley and then Granger a sour look; both of them gave it right back to him, which was, admittedly, amusing.

“I can play all right,” he said vaguely, and took a swig of his drink. It did make some sort of sense, now Draco thought about it -- the tips of Harry’s fingers were far, far too calloused to have been just from casual Quidditch and Auror training. 

“You know, Harry, it actually comes off as more pretentious when you act like this,” said Granger. Weasley snorted. Harry glared at her. “Just play for him, won’t you? And us too -- it’s been ages.”

“Yeah, what’s that Muggle song you play sometimes that I like?” said Weasley.

“I dunno, I’ve played a lot of Muggle songs.”

“He means Wonderwall, Harry,” said Granger, grinning. Harry finally smiled too, and although their little Muggle joke was lost on Weasley and himself he was glad to see that it had apparently been the prodding Harry needed to give in. He set his beer back down and went to get the guitar; something about the way he threw the thin and fraying strap over his head, the way his hands went effortlessly to their places, was unexpectedly attractive. The left one curled easily around the neck of the instrument, heavily-roughened fingers finding their odd positions on the strings, something Draco had always thought looked very painful.

He plucked a few chords and then began fiddling with the knobs at the head of the guitar, tuning it in what was clearly the Muggle fashion, which against his will left Draco completely fascinated. Having no musical inclination himself, he could make nothing of the process except that Harry apparently heard the discordant notes in there well enough to be able to fix them, and finally when he brought his thumb down across all six strings it sounded as sweet and clear as if it had been done by magic.

“Course he likes Wonderwall,” Harry said to Granger even as he began playing, fingers shifting and moving and contorting to create the notes while he strummed softly, effortlessly, and the music crawled over Draco’s skin and inside of him. “I remember Dudley listening to it, like, what … summer before sixth year? On the radio constantly.”

“Sounds about right,” said Granger. 

 Draco had stopped paying attention to what they were saying, though. Either because the music itself had something haunting about its melody or because it was Harry playing it, or perhaps a combination of both, Draco felt a pit of emotion form in his chest to round off the edges of his growing arousal.

And then he started singing, and Draco swallowed very hard. Granger dropped a head onto Weasley’s shoulder and watched with a tender expression, Weasley similarly enamored. Harry had his eyes on his hands for the most part, closing them a few times throughout, looking as comfortable now as he did on a broomstick.

Only three months of official dating had not prepared Draco for the flood of emotions he now felt, yet the most pressing matter had become the semi trapped uncomfortably in his trousers. He wanted those talented fingers in his mouth, to feel the callouses on his tongue and taste Harry on them; he wanted to feel them on the sensitive skin of his inner thighs and hip bones, to have them buried so deeply in his arse that he forgot where he ended and Harry began. 

Of course, he had to keep this to himself for the next hour, until he was able to get Granger and Weasley out of the flat. And once he did, he didn’t bother dragging Harry to his bedroom -- Draco pushed him up against the front door that had just closed behind his friends and hauled him into a kiss that he felt Harry grinning into.

“I thought you seemed tetchy,” he muttered, hands dropping to Draco’s hips. “Oasis really does it for you, huh?”

“What the hell is oasis?”

“The band who does the song.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s the band who does it for me.” He kissed Harry again, maybe a little too hungrily, and dug a fist into his side when he started laughing. “Shut up, why the hell didn’t you ever tell me you played?”

Harry pulled his head back, looking at Draco with an arched brow and an infuriating smirk. 

“What do you mean, ever? We’ve only been together three months, it didn’t come up.”

“God,” Draco muttered, and now he reached down and pressed his palm against Harry’s cock, pleased to feel how hard he was in spite of his ruthless teasing. “You’re so annoying.”

“Well if I’d known how randy it would make you I might’ve played for you a long time ago.”

Having had quite enough of Harry’s particularly sarcastic brand of wit, he ignored this last and reached for one of his hands, removing it from his own hip and bringing it to his lips. It was extremely satisfying to watch the smirk disappear from Harry’s face when he sucked one of his fingers into his mouth. 

“Bit fetish-y, isn’t this?” Harry said breathily, eyes wide as he watched, looking half amused and half awed. In retaliation, Draco took another finger into his mouth and slid his tongue between them, tasting soap and salt, feeling the callouses on the tips of his fingers and letting that sensation grip his insides like an iron fist. “Jesus Christ,” Harry groaned; his free hand went to Draco’s jaw, holding him steady, and with a truly outstanding audacity began fucking Draco’s mouth with his fingers.

They dipped bluntly past his uvula, scraping the back of his throat so he gagged around their intrusion. Saliva built with an excessive speed that had it drooling out of the corners of his lips and coating Harry’s knuckles. Draco closed his eyes and let it happen, opening his throat against the relentless assault and curling his hands in Harry’s shirt just to steady himself. 

They were gone too soon and Harry’s mouth replaced them, much gentler but still with a tangible sense of urgency about it.

When he broke away, he said against Draco’s lips, “Like my fingers, do you?”

Draco merely nodded, feeling their wetness against his cheek. 

“Then turn around,” said Harry, “and I’ll fuck you with them.”

Draco let out a soft, embarrassing whimper and let Harry spin them around and press him against the door, cheek-first. He undid his flies himself and Harry tugged them down his legs and off his feet, allowing Draco to spread them slightly. Harry’s fingers were there immediately, sliding slick between his cheeks and over his hole. The memory of Harry’s hands on the guitar was still so fresh, his fingers changing chords effortlessly, sacrificing them to blisters and callouses and roughened skin for the music they created, and Draco closed his eyes against a fresh wave of arousal and another pang of emotion.

“You really are incredible,” said Draco, biting back a moan as two of those dexterous fingers slipped inside of him. Harry fucked him with them slowly, carefully, seeking out his prostate and angling for it each time once he’d found it. Draco turned his face to press his forehead against the door, eyes still closed, nails scraping wood. “And I like that song.”

“It’s a good one,” Harry agreed. His hot breath caressed the back of Draco’s neck, fingers pumping, his other hand back at Draco’s waist. “I have a million more I’d love to show you.”

Draco didn’t bother trying to find his voice again: instead he pushed back against Harry’s driving fingers, everything that wasn’t the relentless stabbing against his prostate driven from his mind. His neglected cock slapped against the door with every thrust, the red and irritated head dripping pre-come against the wood. Only half conscious of the decision to do so, he wrapped his hand around it and pulled and squeezed and zeroed in on the bursts of pleasure radiating outwards from inside his body until it all spilled over and he came in great pulses, gasping for breath while Harry kept at it. 

The fingers slowed as he reached his peak and began coming down but they didn’t stop, nor was his prostate given much of a break. Harry reinforced his grip on Draco’s waist and kept pumping, a steadier rhythm that nevertheless rubbed and prodded at that little bundle, making his nerves tingle and fizzle and scream out their overstimulation.

“Harry,” he said weakly, knees buckling. “Please …”

It could have been comical the way Harry followed his movement as he slid down the door to the ground, except it wasn’t. It was infuriating, actually, and felt at once like more than he could possibly handle and exactly what he needed. His forehead and his hands went back to the wood, bracing himself as Harry, kneeling behind him, continued fucking his beautiful, merciless fingers and stimulating Draco’s overworked prostate. 

He pushed a third one in alongside the other two and Draco was shocked to feel a hot tear leak out of the corner of his eye. Harry crooked them expertly, with all the confidence and surety of someone who had done this a million times, could do it in their sleep, as if it was not the guitar strings but Draco’s body he was strumming now, an instrument fine-tuned to his own particular cadence and rhythm, which he and no one else could play quite right.

Lips parted, hot breath echoing off the door and back into his face, Draco allowed himself to be taken apart with the same ferocious intensity he’d seen Harry use on the guitar. Each stroke brought him back to full hardness, each stab against his prostate made his nerves sing a tormented chorus, drowning out the pain of the wooden floor against his bare knees. 

“Shit,” Draco choked out, “I’m gonna come again …”

“Well that’s the idea,” said Harry. His voice was full of that same witty and well-meaning sarcasm Draco liked so much, even when it made him feel like punching him. Snatches of the song came back to him, Harry’s voice when he sang it, the expert shifting of his fingers where they pressed and plucked at the strings like he was making love to them. It was all so very much. 

He came a second time without even bothering to touch his cock, because he just didn’t fucking need it. His body thrummed and vibrated like a snapped rubber band while Harry coaxed him along his high and back down again. When he finally pulled his fingers out he leant forward over Draco’s back and kissed the side of his neck, then the corner of his jaw. 

“You know you make much lovelier sounds than the guitar, just so we’re clear,” he said, and Draco, with what strength he had left, shoved Harry and watched him fall sideways laughing. 

[nicklightbearer]

whatever here is the fic

we happy few, nick lightbearer is once again hunted by foggy jack but this time he fights back. just..... not.... well.

this is a tickling fanfic fair warning <3

“Nick.. Nick!”

Rolling over, Nick Lightbearer grumbled and pulled the sheets over his head.

“Virgiiiiiiiiillll.. Five more minutes…” “In five minutes you’ll be dead, idiot! Up, up!”

Nick blinked a few times before feeling a small something land on his stomach- with a high-pitched screech, he sat bolt upright, scrambling to throw the blankets off. There was an oof! from the floor where they landed, and Nick shivered as he peered over the bed.

A rat. There had been a rat- wait- Virgil?

“.. What? What! You’re dead! I- I already avenged you- what do you want now??”

The rat huffed indignantly.

“Well, maybe I’m trying to keep your stupid arse alive, huh? He’s headed here already- so put some pants on, for god’s sake, and find a weapon!” “He? He who?” “Oh, for fuck’s sake. Who do you think??”

Who would- ah bollocks. Nick leapt to his feet, clutching at the wall for support as his head spun. God, even the reds and yellows were wearing on him..

“Foggy- Foggy Jack?? But I- I thought he-“ “Oh, come on. Put two and two together, Nicky.” “Ooh, if you weren’t dead, I’d right love to throttle you for the stupid vague clues…”

Virgil wheezed out a laugh that made Nick roll his eyes as he dug through the dresser.

“You may have blasted the bastard right hard, but it’d take more than a riff or two to kill a man. He’s more starstruck than ever, now.” “See, that wasn’t so hard! Straight answers, Virg, straight answers!”

The room wavered again and Nick cursed angrily as he toppled over trying to pull his slacks up.

“Who taught you how to quip back, huh?” “Could have something to do with the fuckin’.. Broken mood booth outside.”

Grumbling, he finally managed to stand up and pull his pants up proper, tugging on his jacket with only a moment’s hesitation. The blue one, yes, he’d rather wear dark colors if he’s hiding from a serial killer.

“Anyway- where is he now?”

There was a pause, and Nick looked up. The rat was gone.

“Virgil..? Dammit.”

A sudden jiggling of his door handle made him gasp, and he backed away before bolting towards the window.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckit in a bucket, ooh, I don’t have my-“

The front door splintered under a heavy blow, and Nick squealed another curse to himself before nearly leaping into the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

”Guitar!” “Mr. Lightbearer.. Do open up, please! I brought ahh.. Some whiskey! A gift from a fan!”

It almost gave him pause before he shook his head wildly.

“No, no. Focus, Nicky!”

He cast his gaze around the room in a panic. Empty pill bottles littered the sink and floor, and he shoved a few of them out of the way to rummage through the cabinet. Nothing.

Nothing but a plunger next to the toilet- though he considered it, the flimsy weight felt more useless than his own fists, and he discarded it quickly.

That left.. the tub.

Wait. The tub! He leaned over to whip the curtain back, and cringed slightly at the sight of the woman inside- thank god, she was clothed. But in her hand was his goal- just last night, he’d been on the.. Receiving end of…

Pulling it carefully from her grasp, he sighed in relief before jolting at the sound of the door splintering again. Fuck, fuck! He couldn’t let Jack see this poor bird- wait-

Checking her pulse, he sighed in relief. Okay, problem for later. It wouldn’t be the first time a woman woke up alone in his house. He quickly pushed out the door again, closing it and jiggling the lock just to make sure it wouldn’t open again- yep!

Then again, that left only himself and the eye that now peered through his former front door, which was largely splintered to bits. He backed up a little before dashing to his bedroom, both hoping and not hoping that Jack would follow.

“Ohh, Mr. Lightbearer… Nicky~!” The slip from formal to a deeper purring tone sent a shiver down the rockstar’s spine, and he clutched at his makeshift weapon nervously as he pushed his back against the door.

“Hey, lock it and get back, idiot! He just broke the other one down, what happens when he slams an axe through this one??” “Virgil- ooh, you’re right!”

He’s always right. Nick jumped back, casting his gaze around the room after clicking the lock shut. Not much to work with, really, but he could.. He could hide- er- well, the closet would be too obvious, right? Or would it be so obvious that he wouldn’t check?

“No, he knows you’re stupid, Nick. Fucksakes.” “Well, what- ooh!”

Pulling open the dresser drawers, he started throwing clothes on the floor next to the window. The rat perched on top of the dresser sighed as he watched, but Nick ignored him for the moment.

“And what, pray tell, is the plan here? D’you have a gun you never told me about? A machete? Hell, even a baseball bat-” “No- I’m fine for weapon, thanks. This is- well- you’ll see!”

Shouldn’t say it out loud, not with how the door groaned as a weight was thrown against it. Nick shuddered as he pushed the clothes haphazardly closer to the wall, then scooted behind the curtain. The pile on the floor was enough to hide his feet- and the curtains were against a black window, so no light would give him away…

It wasn’t perfect. But if the closet was checked first, he’d have the upper hand.

The door splintered after only a few more hits, and Nick held his breath. He could just barely see through the fabric, having his face so close- and seeing Jack again, albeit this time with a slightly more ruffled appearance, made his heart leap into his throat. Terror was enough to keep his fist gripping the weapon, and he watched with wide eyes as the killer stalked into the room, the red glimmer from his own eyes casting an eerie light over the room as a cloud of fog rolled in after him.

It was nothing if not dramatic, he mused, almost inspired by the sight if he hadn’t been fearing for his life.

Jack hummed to himself as he glanced around the room, the familiar tune to Cheer Up bringing a grimace to Nick’s face. Genuinely, the guy was still a fan- it felt bad to be holding a weapon towards any fan for any reason, but..

Seeing the glittering knife that Jack held whipped his perspective back instantly. Fuck, this guy was absolutely bonkers- though, granted, that only made him feel worse- he couldn’t afford to be wishy-washy about this!

As predicted, Jack didn’t even notice the curtains, instead peering under the bed before turning towards the closet.

“Nick, Nick, Nick… Really, I can’t believe you’d let yourself be cornered so easily. Really, I expected more resistance. No activated security system-”

Fuck! He’d forgotten to turn it on in his drunken stupor the night before!

“No bobbies to guard the house, and not a single manager in sight.. Oh, wait!”

A flash of anger nearly made him leap out right there- but no, he’d wait and bide his time.. For just the right moment…

As Jack grasped the handle on the closet, Nick tensed.

“I suppose you don’t have one of those, do you?”

He flung the doors wide with a taunting laugh that died slowly, his outstretched arms lowering with confusion.

“What..?”

Now!

Nick leapt from his hiding place, nearly tripping on all the clothes but somehow managing to stumble so that he was standing on the bed- not unlike someone hiding away from a mouse, except the mouse was a person and that person had a big knife with his name on it, possibly literally.

However, his unsure footing made him miss his target of ‘back of the skull, god, please let me just knock him out’ and instead slam the instrument across Jack’s back. The impact made him tense, and he squeezed the handle nervously-

Only for electricity to zip out of it, making his palms tingle as the killer gasped. Oh, fuck on a stick.

But.. Something was off. Rather than immediately whipping to stab him, Jack stumbled, slamming against the dresser and clutching at his suit.

“What- what in the blazes-”

Well, no time for hesitation! He swung again, this time holding the button down with purpose. Anything to catch this guy off guard, right? It was also far easier to tap repeatedly at his body rather than his head, and… It worked.

Somehow, it worked. Jack’s arms were glued to his sides and he shimmied away from the assault, expression shifting from a confused pout to a more.. Well, his cheeks puffed out and he cringed, but a smile still seemed to tug at his lips. This smile was different, though, and seemed far more genuine than the mask let on.

“Stop- hey, stop! What- waha- wait!”

Ho. Ly. Shit.

Foggy Jack. Serial killer, menace to society, his personal fuckin’ stalker….. Was ticklish.

Okay. Okay. Well, this information was definitely going to be put to use- let’s see- right the fuck now. Nick slid down from the bed, using the Tickler to bop Jack closer to it- an easy task, given that he nearly tripped himself right onto it. With a quick push.. Perfect!

Foggy Jack was now on his bed. Disheveled, covering his mouth to hold back giggles, and with an expression bordering on infatuation shining out from behind his hand.

For a minute, he was stunned, before remembering the knife. Glancing down, though- oh, he wasn’t holding it. He’d dropped it- there, on the floor.

Jeez, it was almost like he didn’t want to kill Nick.

….. Shelving that thought to dwell on later, Nick grinned with as much menace as he could muster.

“Well, well, well. Ya know, mister Foggy Jack, you’re not half so scary like this.”

Jack yelped as the Tickler was pushed squarely against the middle of his stomach, trying to grab it but letting go quickly as Nick tapped the button a few times. The sensations of light electricity dancing across his torso quickly gave rise to more giggles, ones that he could hardly hold back for all the delight he clearly felt.

“Really! Sheesh, if I’d known about this before, all this lot of stuff would have been so much easier.. Hey, arms up!”

Nick huffed, pushing the arms that seemed nearly glued to his sides before just wiggling a hand between sleeve and shirt. For practiced fingers like his, coaxing out more shocked laughter was easy- and with the Tickler now running up and down his stomach, Jack finally broke.

“Waihihihit! No- stop! St- ahaha! It tickles!” “Well, I sure fuckin’ hope it does, lovely… That’s the point.”

Though, to be honest, he wasn’t sure how to handle things from here. Sure, he could wear out Jack and- wait, perfect. He’d just tickle the man until he properly passed out, then run and find a bobby. Perfect!

Though, as he watched the man writhe beneath him, escalated to proper laughter as skilled fingers squeezed at his sides and the Tickler continued tormenting his stomach, he was a tad hesitant. The ticklish near-agony that made shrieks ring out was… Hm, fun!

As he listened to more of that adorably broken-up laughter, he wondered how addicting this sort of drug might be.

“PLEHEASE- DON’T- DON’T TICKLE ME- IHI CAN’T, I CAN’T TAKE IT! M- MAHAHA- NNNNICK!” “That’s Mr. Lightbearer to you, mister Foggy. Go on, ask me proper to quit, maybe I’ll think about it. Probably not.” “Mr. Light- eehee! Lightbeareheher! Please!” “Please what??” “Plehehease- dOHON’T! Stoooohohop tickling mehehe!” “Don’t stop tickling you? Don’t mind if I do, sweetheart!”

Though the petname didn’t go unnoticed by either of them, Nick chose to eliminate any chance of a response by ducking down- the sudden closeness of their faces made Jack go silent, breathless with both laughter and starstruck awe. Nick winked before ducking his face down and  blowing a raspberry right against his neck, sliding the Tickler to press down against his torso again.

The response was immediate. Jack flailed wildly and cackled, beating at Nick’s back weakly as he choked out wordless pleas. Of course, none of them were heeded, and a few more raspberries were instead strategically placed on the man’s neck. In all his years, even knowing that most people were at least a little ticklish around the face (due to the masks, certainly), he’d never garnered a reaction quite this intense. Must be extra sensitive- therefore, weak, and the wheezes between laughs made Nick grin.

It was honestly.. Kinda cute. He was glad that his goal was to tickle the man to pieces, since otherwise he’d normally give a break by now.

As the struggling became weaker, and the laughs reached pitches that frequently dipped into silent snorts, Nick hummed to himself. Now would be a good a time as ever to drop a little.. Finale, let’s say. He pulled back for a moment, easily readjusting their positions- now, with Jack laying limply on the bed and only weakly with his arms linked around his waist, he climbed on after him properly. It wasn’t hard to sit above his prey, wiggling his fingers a little for extra effect- and relishing in the burst of giggles and flinch- before tapping his chin.

“Now, let’s see.. Something tells me you’re nearly tuckered out. But I’m not quite done, oh no.” “N.. No??”

Something about the way his voice was suddenly softer, even shy in a way- it made Nick’s stomach do a few flips.

“No! Of course not. You’ve been awful rude, banging my door down and threatening me. But I can put that behind us.”

Bending down again, he placed a hand on either side of Jack’s head, their faces nearly touching- once again, Jack held his breath, eyes wide.

“.. Close your eyes for me, Jacky.”

The speed at which his hesitation faded to nervousness, then to giddy anticipation.. It was adorable. Jack finally closed his eyes, then covered his face with a shuddering giggle.

From there, it was easy for Nick to unbutton his jacket- and even easier to bury his face against Jack’s stomach, nibbling through the shirt and earning a new set of squeals.

“No! No- ahaha- ooh, you-!” “Go on, give me a laugh! Just for me, Jacky! Ooh, those could be lyrics..”

He hummed a bit with the idea before returning to his previous actions- and it wasn’t long before the laughter died down, Jack barely writhing beneath him. Nick sat up eventually, finally giving it a rest as he watched the killer gasp a few times before he was silent.

… He leaned forward to check for a pulse. Yep. Hammering away, actually, but calming down.

Honestly, he wasn’t sure what to do. Sitting back on Jack’s legs, he gazed down, watching him sleep with a foggy confusion building in the back of his skull.

Sure, a bobby might.. Be able to help. But he was so tired. And Jack was warm- warmer than he expected, and…

Maybe a little nap wouldn’t hurt. He did crawl over to the side of the bed to push the knife under the dresser, first, but.. Yes, a nap.

Popping a spare Joy he found under one of his shirts, he flopped onto the bed, resolving to take care of the matter later. It was probably fine.

[runaway-bass-n-gun-wieldin-demon]

Ruv ran down the alley in a panic, someone had seen him. He didn't know who they were but they knew that they'd probably hurt him

"w-wait! Please I'm not trying to hurt you! Y-you dropped something and I want to give it back!"

The Russian turned to face them

"the hell do you-"

They had his ribbon. The gift from a friend long since forgotten. The stranger held it out to him so he could take it.

"Sorry I started you..."

"It's fine. Who are you anyways?" Ruv spoke with a slightly annoyed tone as he took the ribbon and shoved it back into his pocket

"My name is Gabriel"

".....Ruv"

"That's a nice name, do you wanna hang out?"

_____________________

She slammed her fist down on her desk in annoyance, her eyes gleaming pink. She'd lost him AGAIN!! God he was so annoying. She just wanted to capture the fucker and put him down for good. "Watch out, Ruvyzvat. Your days are numbered."

_____________________

Carol sauntered into the alleyway where her friend lived "Ayo Sunday! I'm here! Where you at?"

The vocalist turned smoker snapped their attention away from trying to light their cigarette and to her approaching friend "heya Carol, what's up?"

"Nothin much" she took a sip from the bottle she held in her hand as she spoke "you up for a hangout sesh?"

"Of course!"

_____________________

Gar took a deep breath, just one more round of practice and he'd be ready for his show on Friday. The second the music started he was practically screaming into the mic as he played guitar..that was until Annie opened the garage door-

"DUDE! CHILL OUT!"

"Whoops- sorry Annie, guess I just got a little too into it again."

"It's fine, Gar" she chuckled softly before turning to leave "oh, I made snacks by the way. Come get those when you're ready"

"Aight, I'll be out in a sec"

_____________________

The robot quickly adjusted his outfit to make sure he was ready for the soon to arrive croud of churchgoers.

"Whitty?" He called "Can you help me make sure that the main area is clean? I don't want it to look bad when all the people arrive!"

".....sure."

the bombhead began to make sure everything was in place, adjusting paintings, attempting to sweep, doing basic chores to make sure that everything was in order. He'd hate himself if people thought his robot friend didn't take good care of the place and Hex gained a bad reputation because of him. Hex had also been helping to clean, seeing as it was their church and Whitty was essentially a guest. They finished cleaning as the crowd of churchgoing people all arrived.

"Thank you, Whitty!" Hex said cheerfully. Then he ran off to greet the crowd and get started.

_____________________

Rebecca sat in the void. She was not happy about this and she doubted she ever would be. She wanted to get out and she'd achieve that goal by any means necessary

"you two BASTARDS better watch out because the second I get out of here, you're fuckin dead."

She cursed to no one as she sat in her prison for who knows how much longer.

_____________________

AGOTI sighed, he'd been working so hard on this project and still didn't have the money to get it off the ground. He knew he needed a break, the fact that he had been coughing up blood made that evident, he just...didn't want to take one. He wanted to get this done but...maybe a nap would be good for him. He could get more work done if he was more awake anyways. "Aaaalright AGOTI. It's break time" and with that he flopped onto his bed to sleep

_____________________

Kapi was pissed. Those fucks had gotten away and now he was gonna be wanted for blowing up a building. This day was shit. He sighed and ducked quietly back into the alleyway he had come from.

"God fuckin dammit..I'll kill you one day, you bitch. Just you wait."

_____________________

Tabi grinned as he continued messing around on his dance pad. Today had been pretty good since he'd managed to make a few friends and beat his high score. He waved as one of his friends left

"Cya Tabi!"

"Bye!!"

He sighed happily and went to go get some shitty, but still not awful, arcade candy from the ticket counter

_____________________

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[cowboy]

what are your like top 10 oM songs?

this is SUPER hard to answer so I’m gonna try to be accurate but this also changes very often. but also I’m just gonna go with my long term favorites. in no particular order bc i don’t think i could put one as number one

1. anyway just kidding my number one of all time is Party’s Crashing Us no contest. this is because it was the first song i ever heard of theirs, and I really only had heard sunlandic twins because it was the one my sibling played the most. (I started liking oM because of my sibling lol). It just makes me so happy and sad at the same time it’s such a beautiful song. I only feel alive when the vus flashing.. alarms going off in my heaaadd.. i wanna grab you and just kiss you maybe i should sit down no sense in cashing us nowww..... the partys crashing us nowww....

2. okay from now on actually in no particular order, an elurdian instance is still one of my favorite songs, and the one people tend to say is a “very me” song. although it’s really hard to choose off of skeletal lamping bc that used to be my favorite album of theirs for like a couple years. anyway it’s such a nostalgic song.. the bit about the mountain goats and the last summer as independents and stuff always makes me so ;_;

3. we will commit wolf murder I swear to fucking god it’s SO good. I’m considered ugly from every angle... youre the only beauty i don’t wanna strangle... the lyrics are beyond amazing and like his voice is so soft and he doesn’t overdo the falsetto (though his falsetto is always good). and i dont even dislike the weird ending which i usually do (he overdoes it on this album too but im aware shes just that kind of girl and has to do the weird artsy instrumentals). good fucking song

4. speaking of paralytics stalks, what an UNDERRATED ALBUM. I LOVE dour percentage. “this planet is an orphanage” is such a good line also his falsetto here is extremely good. i love singing to this song. he also wrote it about a friend breakup which i love and well it’s just a good song. I’m also gonna have this be a tie with malefic dowery which has a similar vibe; so soft and singable...

5. ok paralytic stalks again maybe but spiteful intervention is easily possibly my second favorite song of theirs. the beginning makes me acutlaly insane. i used to listen to it at 5 AM on my way to work on the freeway and hearing him say “oh god the morning light, sunrays bring my paranoia, I CAN’T FUNCTION UNLESS I’M THE ONLY ONE -- AWAKE” literally unlocked something inside of me. SUCH a good song

I’m manic right now

6. faberge falls for shuggie thank you very much. hissing fauna used to be my favorite album for a very long time and the intro to this song would just live in my mind forever. i love his screaming/yelling and weird voice in this one. he’s like speaking to himself in it (did shuggie do it yet? no. not yet) and i love when he does that shit. the instrumentals are so good. and the scream bit at around 2:00 is so delightful.

i’m starting to realize i don’t actually know my top ten favorites and i have like top 20 actually. this is hard

7. i have to add in some satanic panic of course, so climb the ladder is on here. he has such a sweet little gift for making such nice love songs. i also love lysergic bliss of course but i think a lot of the songs off that album are so underrated including this song. wahh

8. sleeping in the beetle bug!! such a delightful tune and i love the key it’s in. i love cherry peel. the lyrics are so funny and the breakdown in the song is great. he is so good at guitar man

9. stag to the stable is my #1 lyrical depression song what a GOOD song to have a little breakdown to. rune husk is such a sexy EP too. i want the cover on a shirt

i’m extending this to 12 songs i really dont care sorry

10. Empyrean Abattoir. this album is an underrated basic rock album of his but this song in particular does something to my brain... the breakdown is also super good on this. when he transitions between the softer mellower parts into the yelling... the beginning is still my favorite part though . TBQH

11. feminine effects is such a sweet little song and the “bobby baby” makes my heart go SOFT so so so soft. i dont know who the vocalist is but I LOVE her voice. i think shes the one on lousy with sylvianbriar as well? is that nina?? anywho. WAIT SPEAKING OF NINA shoutout to heimsdalgate like a promethean curse i love that line. dancing to this song live is like crack to me. i shout the lyrics every time

12. tie between triumph of disintegration, imbecile rages, and raindrop in my skull off of lousy. what a great country-esque album. i always listen to it when i’m chillliing. raindrop in my skull is one of my favorites because the aforementioned singer has such a nice voice.

(shoutout to miss blonde your papa is failing for being the saddest fucking song of all time)

okay so the rest of his albums are pretty poppy and i love pretty much all of them (except ur fun . ur fun sucks) but there arent top 10 favorites on them really. i will say i love IFSWYT and i think there are some songs that might become a top 10/20 song if i get more time with them. well anyway. sorry for the ranting but i love all these songs so much. god bless

[lifebeginsbyleaving]

Mama Mia Scotts A Peace Pimp

Hey ya!!! So this is my last entry for @sterek-bingo I've had such a great time and I'm so glad I did this!!! So all the love to the admins over yonder 💜💜💜 I hope to see you all well when sterek week rolls around. Also the biggest of thank yous and the mostest loves to @halevetica Girl you know how important you are to me. I wouldn’t have even dreamed of attempting this if it wasn’t for you. So, *strums guitar* I love you bitch. Thank you for your endless support in my shenanigans (Like shlongshire, naming this mama mia scotts a peace pimp, and my endless unnecessary backstory that stresses both of us out.) and for brainstorming with me well past two in the morning multiple times. Oh and also for your help wrangling Brian, god that asshole. She also made this amazing mood board for me ahhhhh!!!! She is so amazing an talented I love her. You should check her out!!! She writes 1000x better than me, so you will not regret it if you like sterek. Anyway, this is around 10,000 words. 

----------------------------------------------

Derek could feel himself losing his patience. He got it already. Fairies were tricky. Don't offend them. Don't accept gifts from them. He got it, they all got it, hell they had it ten minutes into his half hour rant. But Stiles went on and on.

"Don't accept anything. Anything at all. Pay attention to wording. And, for the love of God, don't-"

Derek's patience snapped. "Eat anything, we know."

Scott went to move in front of Stiles, but Stiles put an arm across him. Derek puffed out his chest unconsciously.

They had been so territorial and snippy with each other lately both packs were sick of it. Especially Stiles, though. These last few months had been filled with uncooperative alpha instinct bullshit. It was the last thing they needed right now while dealing with fairies, beings that were known for being cutthroat at exploiting weaknesses to kill entire packs if they so wished it. Stiles hated being in the middle of it, but as Scott's emissary he needed to keep the peace between packs.

"Would you quit it you two. You're both pretty. And petty."

Scott protested, "You're just trying to explain everything. Why does he have to be like that? You don't even have to help their pack, but you are. He should be thankful."

Derek tried to ignore how that grated on him. Scott, unconsciously, had been referring more and more to Stiles as being his and separating them from Derek and his pack. He supposed he had been doing it as well, but he couldn't help it. Still, it didn't escape his notice that he had been pushing everyone from Scott's pack to be separate except Stiles. Deaton had warned them two alphas sharing a territory would be hard, but they could do it if they were determined. He also said some things about compromise and not challenging each other, but that wasn't as memorable. "Stiles is your emissary, not your beta. And he certainly isn't anyone's bitch. He can help whoever he wants without you."

Stiles gave him the murder face and once again, with greater difficulty, stopped Scott from going forward. "Both of you need to chill the fuck out or I'm leaving both of your furry asses and taking your packs with me."

They quickly snapped their mouths shut because they knew he could and would. Their posture slumped.

Stiles looked pleased. "Good. Now shut the fuck up if you don't want to die. These fairies aren't like the tooth fairy, and they sure as hell ain't Tinkerbell. They can and will kill you given the chance. Do not give them the chance. Watch your words and mind your manners. It is easy to offend a fairy, so don't. I don't care if you're non verbal through it."

Liam spoke up from the couch, "I don't see why we have to sit here for this. Only the pack alphas, Derek's first beta, and you, cuz you're Scott's emissary, are allowed to go."

"So you know for the future."

Issac spoke from where he was at Derek's side, "But why would they be so hostile towards us? We have that treaty thing with them. They couldn't hurt us without breaking that."

Stiles groaned and looked at Derek. "You see, this." He shoved a hand out towards Issac. "This is why I repeat myself. We don't have shit with them. Derek's mom saved the fairy queen. Her and her pack had the treaty. It's Derek pack now, hence the moot point you just made. Some things like a life debt or a blood oath can be passed through the generations, but not a treaty. Not when the terms or people involved change. Believe me, I do not want to be doing this any more than you do, but it's important. I found their fairy ring and Deaton said they would know I found it. He also said it would be akin to an open declaration of war if we ignored it. Apparently they're touchy about being snubbed and want to be introduced. Which shouldn't be a shock, they're touchy about everything. Now, the options are say hello to the fairies on our land, don't offend them, and hopefully sign a new treaty, or get the fuck out of Beacon Hills and hope they don't hunt us down. Should we put it to a vote?" He asked sarcastically.

Lydia looked analytical. "So is there something we can do to please them?"

Stiles gave her a flat look. "Other than not doing and doing all the things I've told you about for the last half hour? No, not really. Die, maybe."

Derek crossed his arms. "What do we actually need to know?"

Stiles gave him an annoyed look. "I'll start at the beginning."

There was a loud chorus of groans.

---

Stiles was glad the pack was out of his hair. He had stayed behind to help Derek clean up and was relieved to have finally shooed out Scott after both alphas had apologized. For all their bickering, at the end of the day they were friends. Even if their wolves wanted to tear the other to shreds. Stiles folded another blanket as Derek walked back out from the kitchen.

"That could've gone better. Can you help me wi-" Stiles' words were cut off as Derek hadn't stopped in front of him, but had continued right into his space. Derek wrapped an arm around his waist and quickly pulled him closer. He pulled him into a forceful kiss and Stiles was caught off guard.

Once Stiles recovered from the shock he tried to slow him down. He finally was able to pull back and ask, "Okay, what was that for?"

Derek only tried to kiss him again, but Stiles pulled back to look into his eyes. Derek huffed. "Mine." It sounded like it was barely able to be growled out.

Stiles smirked. "What's got you all gruff, sourwolf?"

Derek only reacted by sniffing deeply to smell Stiles' satisfaction. It was one of his favorites, despite how he hated seeing it on his face when they were arguing. Stiles smiled and tilted his head to the side slightly. Derek rumbled out his approval and dove into the offered space. He kissed and licked at his neck till he felt Stiles' light laugh bubble up. He pulled back and looked inquisitive.

"I bet you don't even know you're half shifted right now."

Derek immediately shifted back as if to prove his point. Stiles leaned forward with a smile and kissed him. "It's okay. You know I think it's kinda hot."

Derek kissed him again and the harshness was gone, but it was still insistent. Right before he spoke, Stiles wiggled his eyebrows at him. "I bet you were listening to Scott. I bet you only waited one second after he was out of earshot to come in here and kiss me. I bet yo-"

Derek cut him off again, but this time he added a nip to his lip to curb his snark. "Kiss me. Shut up."

Well, who was he to refuse such a polite request. Stiles wrapped his arms around his neck. Derek harshly grabbed his hips and leaned into him.

"Okay, are you going to tell me what's got you like this?"

"He said you don't have to help their pack. He said it like you're separate from us."

Stiles sighed and looked down. "I am separate Derek. I am, and always will be, in Scott's pack. I wish I could choose both of you, but if I can't, I choose him. Scott's my brother. I can't turn my back on him, not when he's always had mine. So until we figure out a way to work it out, I'm in his pack." Stiles looked up guiltily even though he'd done nothing wrong.

Derek rested their foreheads together. "He's your family. I get it. I do, anyway. The wild in me just wants you to myself though. It wants to take care of you myself. To keep you safe myself. To have you in my pack. To love you. It wants you to be mine." Derek's eyes flashed red. "Mine. I want you. I want you to share a pack with me. I want you with my pack. I want you with me."

Stiles gripped the back of his neck harder. "I am with you. I'm here. We are together."

It pained Derek how much that wasn't true. They had been dating for over six months and both packs were in the dark. He hated having to lie, but Stiles said it was for the best and in the end he agreed. He didn't want to start a pack war over Stiles with Scott. Mostly because he knew it would kill Stiles for him to have caused it. So they both agreed they'd get the alpha instinct pissing contest over with first and then tell everyone. Derek smiled at him. "You're right. You being here is enough."

Looking at Derek's insincere face rolled Stiles' stomach. "Don't be like that. Don't smile at me if you don't mean it. Don't say shit you don't believe. Me just being here isn't fucking enough." Stiles looked as sad as Derek felt. "I want to be able to stay with you. I don't want to sneak around with you. I don't want to have to make up stupid emissary shit that Scott believes because I'm a bridge between packs so he doesn't get all territorial with me sharing info with you. Or any other bullshit Deaton says. I want to belong in Scott's pack, but I also want to belong with you and yours." Stiles scratched at the hair on the back of Derek's neck.

"Fine. I hate this. I hate that we can't tell anybody. I hate that I don't get to scream it from the rooftops that you're my boyfriend. I hate that we can only go on dates in the preserve, so no one recognizes us. I hate that Scott gets more of your time. I hate that you see Scott at all, even though I know that's not really me talking and that I don't. I hate that you don't smell like me. I hate that once you walk out that door you aren't mine anymore. I hate that more than anything. God, I hate that."

Stiles kissed him softly and after kept his eyes closed with their foreheads together. "So show me tonight. Make me yours. Make me forget I have to walk out that door. Right here, right now I am yours. Make me want to wake up everyday yours. Make me crave you Derek. Make me need you. Make me yours sourwolf."

Derek's hands moved from his hips to his ass and he yanked him up and he immediately wrapped his legs around him with a smile.

"Are you going to carry me to your bed?"

Derek growled out around fangs, "I'm going to fuck you into my bed."

A thrill raced through Stiles and he leaned forward to kiss him as Derek walked him to his room. "Atta boy."

---

Derek woke up knowing the bed was empty, but a soft smile curled on to his face hearing the movement in the room around him. He squinted against the light coming through the curtains and turned over. He faced Stiles who was moving around the room to get changed. "Good morning sunshine."

Stiles looked at him and his face mirrored Derek's smile. "Mornin yourself hot stuff."

Derek grinned and patted the bed. "Come here."

Stiles obliged and leaned hand down on the bed to give him a good morning kiss. "Your breath is terrible."

"Yours is minty fresh."

Stiles flashed his gleaming teeth and picked his shirt off the ground. Derek always appreciated the lithe beauty of his mole dotted skin, but Stiles covered in the marks he left the night before would always be his favorite. Derek looked up and Stiles had caught his staring in the mirror. "I think you missed a spot."

Derek tossed the sheet aside and got up despite the slight chill. He slid behind Stiles and put a hand around his waist. "Oh sorry, did I? Can't have that."

Stiles' head lulled to the side unconsciously. "We really can't. That's the only spot people look at really. That one tiny uncovered part of my neck."

Derek smiled and started kissing his shoulder then worked his way up. Stiles carded his hand into Derek's hair.

Derek seemed satisfied. "Did I make you forget?"

"Forget what?" He seemed distracted.

"That you have to walk out that door."

Derek saw his grin in the mirror they both faced. "Baby, you made me forget I could walk at all last night."

Derek tried to smile back at him, but he couldn't muster it. Not when he hadn't gotten the answer he had wanted.

Stiles moved away to continue getting ready. Derek leaned against the dresser.

"Alright, I better head out. I'll see you in a couple hours for the meeting with the fairies." Stiles kissed him. He was almost out the door when he turned around. "Oh, I almost forgot!" He went to Derek's night stand and grabbed his bracelet. He put it on and instantly the scent of them together was everywhere in the room except on Stiles. He waved his hands a few times and let a few sparks go. The marks on his neck and undoubtedly everywhere else started to fade.

Derek's wolf howled like it had been burned. He looked away from the vanishing marks. Tears threatened to gather in his eyes. His voice was thick as he softly said, "I don't think you know how much that hurts."

Stiles turned around concerned. "How much what hurts?"

Derek gestured to his neck. "It's like you rejecting everything we did last night. It's like you regret it. My wolf thinks that you are deciding to leave me for good every time."

Derek could see the disheartened look in his eyes, but he still tried for humor. "Well, what about you? Leaning against that dresser all sleep ruffled and naked. It's practically a crime. Nay, a sin. You shouldn't be able to look that hot. How could I reject you when you stand there practically begging for someone to make sure you don't get cold or lonely. I don't know if I can leave you like that. All naked and hot."

Derek let out a huff. He muttered, "Is that all it would take?" He looked up. "I'll never put in pants again if you stay."

Hurt flashed briefly on Stiles' face and Derek instantly felt guilty. He walked over to him. "Hey, no I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that like it's your fault. It's not up to you, and it sure as hell isn't up to me. I get that we can't do anything about it right now, it just frustrates me. I didn't mean to guilt you. I'm sorry."

Stiles folded into his arms. "I know. I hate it too."

Derek kissed him. "You should go."

Stiles nodded. "I'll see you in a bit."

Derek nodded bittersweetly.

---

"This is it? This is just twigs."

"Issac, what did I say? Watch your mouth. Besides, you can't see how amazing it looks."

Derek looked over to his wonder filled eyes. "But you can, can't you?"

They all turned to Stiles. "Yes. Ground fairy wings sprinkled into my eyes allows me to see through their illusions. I didn't want to be fooled by pretty faces as well as mellifluous words."

"Damn, that's hella metal." Issac tilted his head in consideration while Scott looked disgusted. Derek looked impressed.

"Whatever, just listen. Their spring moon festival will be going on so hopefully we can blend in with all the other royalty and dignitaries they met. And also they should be in high spirits. Ground rules. No eating, I do most of the talking, but don't ignore words directed at you, no insulting, no dancing, stay close, no gifts or favors, and-" Stiles pointed a finger in between Scott and Derek. "Absolutely no alpha macho fighting."

They looked offended but agreeable.

Stiles turned to the gate. "Now, follow me."

---

The tall intimidating ethereal being that towered over them steepled their hands. "I have given you much to discuss. We will leave you to make your decision. This room is warded against all prying eyes, no one will listen to you here." The king's impressive guard and extensive council readied themselves to leave.

All four of them let out a breath of relief at having a moment to themselves after nearly three hours of talks.

As they filed out a female voice spoke, "Father?"

Stiles caught the easy smile that took over their face. "Yes, my petal?"

She locked eyes with Issac even as he desperately tried to send help signals out to Stiles and Derek. "I want to dance with that one."

Issac locked pleading puppy eyes with Stiles.

Stiles stepped forward slightly. "I think we are all too tired, your grace. He would probably step on her toes more than anything." Stiles tried for the easy humor and high spirits they had been sharing all night.

They clearly missed the king. Their eyes went sharp and demeanor cold. "You wouldn't allow my daughter to dance the night with your beta?"

Issac and Derek both went to speak, but Stiles cut them off. "He may dance with her for one dance. Any more would be too high an honor." Stiles turned to Issac with a look.

Issac opened his mouth, but seemed to think better if it. He simply bowed his head to the king and princess.

"Very well. Come petal. Come boy."

Issac left with one final traumatized look over his shoulder. Stiles nodded calmly and confidently to him and Isaac looked slightly calmer.

As soon as they shut the door Derek exploded. "What the fuck Stiles! What happened to no dancing and stay close?! Issac is bad with this kind of thing and you just let him go? Do you just not give a shit about him, huh!?"

Stiles was about to placate him when Scott jumped in. "He's doing the best he can. Besides, he has no obligation to watch out for you. You're not h-"

Derek interrupted through clenched teeth, "His pack. Believe me, I know."

"Can we focus children? Issac will be fine as long as he listened to me. Besides, a refusal of the fairy king's prized daughter would've ended in death for all of us. They could come back any moment and demand an answer. And I don't know about you, but I don't trust our odds about getting back to the portal through that literal army of ancient ruthless beings. So stow your crap and let's get this figured out."

They grumbled but complied.

"Good. Okay, so we know their claim on the eastern woods is complete bull, and we can get out of it easily. But what are we doing about the claim hierarchy? If both of you die or are unable to lead they want to take control of the territory. Which is something that shouldn't happen, but we don't have a way out of it, not really."

"Is that what they were saying? I thought they were talking about pack kids. With all that legacy shit. Also where's the queen? What happened there?" Scott looked thoughtful. "So, what do we do?"

"We can't agree to that. It would paint a target on your backs if they ever wanted to take over and that's all they would have to do. Also, I swear to god Scott, if you bring up the queen I'll cut your balls off. If he wanted us to know he would've told us, he could kill us if she died and it's a sore spot. Now, back to business. We can leverage their spot where they are right now, I think. It takes a lot of time and energy to built a fairy circle as powerful as that one, they won't want to just pack up and leave it. Even if the land they're on is now back to your ownership. So, I say we leverage their current part of the woods for the claim hierarchy they want. Sure, what we offer them is what they have, but they don't have to put in the effort and sacrifices again to build another circle."

Derek furrowed his brows. "You said time does not concern fae and that they are willing to put in the effort. Don't you think they would just forcefully take more land and make a new circle?"

Stiles looked considering. "No. I think most of this is just to size us up. I don't think they want more than what they have right now or they would've taken it by now. The king looked more playful than aggressive, which isn't to say that couldn't change."

They went back and forth debating possible terms and conditions for several minutes.

"Yes, but the northern preserve is Hale territory indisputably. Given that, I think we're in agreement. What about th-"

The doors slammed open with a loud bang and their heads snapped up.

Issac had his hands still outstretched and his chest was heaving. They took in his appearance. He was absolutely covered head to toe in at least an inch of glitter, his hair was wild and there were twigs woven into the strands. He was wearing a long robe also covered in glitter and falling off one side. Most disturbing there was what looked almost like a dead rat that fell off his shoulder, but Stiles knew it wasn't quite a rat. There was a desperation and terror in his eyes as he spoke, "Guys! I think I just got engaged!?"

The doors slammed back closed. Scott's face looked confused. Derek's eyebrows were high in shock. Stiles just closed his eyes and tilted his head down to let out a deep sigh while pinching the bridge of his nose.

Stiles didn't even look up before he began to speak, "Issac. I thought I was pretty clear, don't accept anything from them. I'm pretty sure a freakin marriage proposal qualifies as anything!" He looked at Issac disappointed, but not surprised.

The distressed beta walked closer to his alpha for comfort. "I didn't! I promise!"

Scott still looked confused. "I thought you were going to dance?"

"We did! But then they started shoving me into this robe and covered me with glitter and put branches in my hair. I thought it was just a party thing, but no one else got a dead rat so I got concerned. I asked what's going on and they told me I'm engaged to marry princess Annalise! I can't get married! I don't even have a credit card yet!"

Derek put a hand on his beta's neck to soothe him. "Calm down. We'll figure this out." He looked to Stiles.

"Oh, don't look at me. Your dumbass beta did this. You get him out of it, big guy."

Derek gave him a flat look.

Issac looked over at him desperately. "Stiles I know we don't always get along, but please. I am literally begging you, I cannot marry her." He looked white as a sheet when he leaned forward to murmur, "When she smiles you can see bug legs in her teeth."

Scott's face scrunched up. "Gross."

Stiles grinned. "And you can't even see her true form. That'll give you nightmares come wedding night." Issac whimpered.

"Stiles." Derek raised an eyebrow. Stiles huffed and crossed his arms. Derek simply raised it higher. Stiles rolled his eyes. Derek raised the other one and looked expectant. Stiles squinted at him. Derek kept both brows up as he tilted his head towards Issac.

Stiles huffed and threw out his arms. "Oh, my, god, fine! I'll think of something."

Scott piped up. "Wait, would you have to stay here if you married her?"

Derek sighed. "Well, she certainly isn't going to become a PTA mom."

Stiles huffed. "Issac, explain. Everything. From the beginning. Don't leave anything out."

"We were just dancing and not talking like you said, then they grabbed me and started doing all this weird stuff to me." He shook some of the glitter off and a twig fell from his hair.

Stiles looked confused. "You didn't talk at all?"

"No. Nothing. Other than when she asked to dance."

Stiles closed his eyes breathed through his nose heavily. "Yeah, and what exactly did she ask you?" He squinted at him and pursed his lips while nodding waiting for the answer.

He seemed insistent for the first part. "She just asked..." His eyes widened. "For my hand."

Stiles turned away from him to face Derek and Scott. He threw an arm behind him to the general area of Issac. "This! Is why you listen to Stiles! This! Is why you appreciate Stiles and listen to him! This! Is why Stiles is always right and you listen to him. This! Is why when there's a clan of fairies about to declare war on you if you don't meet them you show up to the fucking pack meeting ready to mother fuckin-"

Scott and Derek chorused with Stiles. "Listen to Stiles." "Listen to Stiles." "Listen to Stiles."

"Exactly!"

"If it helps, I'm sorry for not listening."

"If it helps, I'm only moderately considering wishing her well on training you to listen to her and hoping she likes scarves."

The door opened, this time much more calmly and less violently. "The king would request to see at least one of their mortal guests. If not the groom, then the emissary."

Issac made a choked off noise and looked wildly at Stiles before opening his mouth just to be interrupted.

"I think our discussion has concluded. We will all join the king to finalize their treaty terms."

The two guards filed out into the hall. Scott followed them and Derek motioned for Issac to do so as he fell into step with Stiles at the back. They had a bit of space between them.

"Have you thought of something yet?" Derek whispered.

They both kept their eyes forward. "I'm working on it."

"Well, work faster. You know what I'll do to you if you don't get my beta out of this." It was said with harshness in case someone was listening, but after he finished he looked over with a raised brow and smirk. Stiles resolutely looked forward and shut everything else out to focus.

The no sex treatment was brutal.

Stiles' mind raced with ideas on how to get them out of this. He thought about all he knew about fairies and couldn't think of anything about how to get out of a marriage proposal. There were so many stories, but none that didn't end in death. There had been one thing about a fairy and a human truly falling in love, but the groom made his bride dance until she died. Definitely not the solution, no matter how much he didn't get along with Issac some of the times, he was still a good friend. Stiles and him had grown closer even despite the occasional ribbing or friction.

They came up on the dance hall and were guided through the bustling floor to the king's harvest table. Annalise immediately went to Isaac's side with a sharp toothed smile.

Stiles thought about all the different fae he'd read about and their rules. Somehow he didn't think spilling some salt would help here. He tried to remember everything he'd read, but there was so much and somehow he couldn't think of anything. Stiles began to feel frustrated as he had to tune out the three of them talking with the king trying to buy him some time. Deaton had showed and told him so much, why was it so hard to get them out of this! He had a story or book about everything. About lore, about fae folk, about how Talia dealt with them and got her peace treaty. He made it sound like a movie. Talia sounded like a great hero to him. Stiles was next to tears as he thought about how much better at this she would be.

Wait...

Stiles remembered a lore book about how, if a person saved a fairy child, that person could dictate what that fairy child did. Most used them for an I'll advised marriage, or slave. Both never ended well. They would just have to be careful to make it seem like they aren't wronging them. Talia had gotten her peace treaty because she had saved the life of the fairy queen. The fae hated owing or being in someone's debt so they penned the treaty. If Stiles gently mentioned that the king's daughters would never have been born if not for Derek's mother. They would owe Derek for them. In that same book he learned that blood oaths and life debts were passed down, even if treaties weren't.  Stiles smiled as a plan took root. He would mention the life debt and that that Derek could claim to dictate Annalise's life as well as her sisters'. They would say very carefully that they wished her nothing but happiness in a marriage to a fae to continue the line of great rulers. Perfect!

The king was speaking, seemingly agitated. "You speak in circles more like fae than humans. Enough. Why can't you marry my beautiful daughter Annalise?" They demanded and let just a little of their glamour fade to reveal their horrific face. The once glittering beautiful wings turned to a pitch black with twisted roots digging into and fixing them to their back.

Stiles was ready to jump in and save the day. "I would lik-"

Issac blurted and full volume, "Because I'm already married!"

Stiles craned his neck to look at him with an incredulous look. Scott looked bewildered and Derek just swore under his breath.

The king looked disbelieving. "Really?"

All four of them looked at each other as hopelessly lost and fucked as they felt.

They were in an unfamiliar place with a literal supernatural army between the four of them and the door. There was no way they could fight their way out, and his last plan was shot now, when they had to get him out of this lie first. Stiles figured he might as well roll with it.

"To me." His words came out just as Derek's did. "To me."

Stiles and Derek caught each others eye.

Stiles cleared his throat and gathered himself. Derek knew from the set of Stiles' shoulders he wasn't going to like what came next. He walked up between Derek and Issac and grabbed each of their hands. "To us." Stiles gripped their hands as harshly as he could for getting them into this before letting up.

A ripple of chatter erupted from the king's table, but the dance hall around them continued the festivities.

The king narrowed their eyes before motioning for a servant to come forward. They whispered into his ear and the servant left. "We will see."

Stiles swallowed harshly and Derek squeezed his hand.

The servant hurried back in with what seemed to be a crystal vial of a shimmering light blue liquid. The king tilted their head back and the servant put a few drops in each eye. The king blinked before focusing intently on the three of them.

Stiles had his eyes narrowed in confusion before they widened. "You're using fairy wings."

The king focused on Stiles. "Don't sound so appalled boy. Did you think we didn't know you used some as well to see our true forms?" They smiled. "Fairy wings have many magical properties, but most notably their use for sight magic. Mix the right ingredients in and you can see just about anything. For example: myrrh, basil, and valerian root."

"And what are you using those ingredients for?" Scott inquired.

"If one knows how to look, you can see a sort of line, a link one might say, between people. You can see what ties bind people. I believe wolves think a pack bond is something intangible by everything except instinct, but they are wrong. There is nothing magic cannot see or touch with the right entity wielding it. No matter how one tries to his or conceal it, it is always set free with patience. Ah ha, there you are."

They all took in a breath and held it as they looked in-between them. They looked puzzled for several moments. They tilted their head and made an inquisitive noise. Their council began to murmur and that seemed to distract them.

"Oh. Most interesting." They turned to their daughter. "My poor sweet Lise, the wedding is unfortunately off."

They let out a relieved, if not confused, breath.

Scott spoke, "Wait, what?!"

The king turned to Scott with a predatory grin. "You. You are quite the enigma. True, we had wondered how two alphas were possibly keeping the peace sharing a territory, but this? This was unexpected. A true alpha arranging a marriage between his emissary and greatest friend to his rival alpha and also his rival alpha's first beta? Unexpected, but well played." The king looked like they were appraising a clever chess game. "I am curious how you knew that an emissary building a relationship with a different alpha can quell instinct and unite packs?"

Scott gaped at him.

Stiles let go of Derek and Isaac's hands to wave his around. "Wait. What?"

The king turned to him with furrowed brows. "You did not know? Hm, I would have thought you would have been the one to figure it out. Clever human must not be as clever as I thought. Yes, he used you. But with how strong those bonds are I would say it did not work out entirely disadvantageous for you, did it?"

Stiles didn't know how to respond as Scott gave him a, 'What the fuck?!' face. Stiles sent back a, 'Just go with it!' face. "I would say not."

"Well, now that the nuptials are halted, should we continue our negotiation?" The king settled back against their chair.

Stiles quickly gathered himself yet again. "As the emissary representative of both packs I put forth the same treaty you and Talia Hale had. She gave you favorable terms and we are willing to do the same. You stay here and live on our territory peacefully in exchange for protection against things. You can draw from the nemeton without dealing with the things it draws. You stay on your side of the circle and we will keep our side there. We find it agreeable that instead of involving you in the care of our territory through a claim hierarchy, you keep your portal here. It would take a great deal of effort and sacrifice to move your circle closer in order to defend and manage Beacon and the nemeton, if it were ever to come down to a claim. It is better for all parties if we manage our territory and you manage yours. Agreeable?"

The king held his chin up by resting it on three of his fingers. "And if we want more?"

"If you wanted more then you'd try to take it. Are you?"

The king spoke aloof. "And if we did try to take your land?"

Stiles' eyes went hard and cold. "We'd protect it."

Scott looked to Stiles nervously after his risky answer.

The king grinned. "Good. No sense in having a treaty with packs that won't protect their land or us." He turned to Derek. "Your mother would approve of this one. He reminds me of her. His voice never wavered, exactly like hers. But do not be concerned with your strength little human." They looked at Stiles with an almost paternal interest. "Her hands shook just like your as well."

Stiles gaped, awed at how the king had seen right through him. He wondered what ingredients he had used for that one, or if it just came with a long life. Derek looked down at Stiles' shaking fist and reached out to hold it. Isaac saw it and after momentary hesitation mirrored it.

They laughed and then inclined their head toward their hands. "You know, it is intriguing to watch you mortals run in circles. You have such short lives so you dare not waste time looking to the past to learn from it, but we fae live long enough to see you as what you really are. Rats. Forever spinning on a wheel. Fun to play with and good pets, but ultimately you end where you started."

Everyone looked confused and they all looked to Stiles then, but he was just as confused.

"True, everyone in her pack looked to her just as you all look to the emissary, but that-" They once again motioned to Derek and Stiles' hands. "That was what your father did when he noticed her trembling. He didn't take over, he didn't talk over her. He supported her and trusted that she could handle it. Round and round you go, living the same lives in different bodies. He may have an edge to his voice like she had, but I see the same steadfast faith your father had for your mother in your eyes. You carry it for the emissary. The same relationships in different people. You bore me. Give me one good reason I should let you leave here alive. Especially when the fae could do so much more with the land."

Derek knew the fae could sense the fear coming off each of them.

Stiles spoke with conviction, "Does the juniberry flower get less beautiful with each passing season that they bloom? Is every peaceful ruler boring because there have been so many before it? Is a trick any less fun because you've already pulled it? You cannot deem us less worthy of life because we live it with the same burning love of those before us, the same beauty, the same compassion, the same embrace of frivolity. Repetition, while in our nature, isn't its entirety. Humans are known for their growth. Fae are born with magic and always have been. Humans learned to harness and use it. We grew with it, we invent and change it. There will always be humans fighting to love, to discover, to live, to be happy, to destroy, to hate, to do so many things good and bad. You call that fight not as important while you sit on a throne built by fae who did all the same things. The fact that you are immortal does not exclude you from the truth that you are also a part of the circle. Here you are again making another treaty. We are not two forces, we are one. But if you would like to divide us in two, pit us against each other in a way that would cost both sides lives, you are not breaking the circle. You are completing it. There has always been war, there has always been peace."

The king smiled. "And what would you have me do?"

"Do not attempt to break the circle. Appreciate it. Slow down and realize there have been before me, there will be after me, and I am being now. Make peace when possible, and war when it is not. Create when you can, but also destroy when it is necessary. Love your family, hate your enemies. But most prudent, know the difference between friend and foe, and have the wisdom to act accordingly. That his my advice, take it or leave it." Stiles bowed his head slightly while all three boys looked at him awed.

The king looked impressed. "You have moved my opinion and taught me, that is no small feat. Consider the treaty done according to your stated terms. Will you accept this favor from us?"

Scott and Derek went to jump in, but Stiles held up a hand. "We will accept no favors, but we accept the treaty."

The king nodded approvingly. "You are the clever human. Well done. Not many survive a fairy court. Much less on that was intent on killing them eventually from the moment they walked in. Consider the treaty in effect. This will probably be the last time you hear from us. That is, unless you need a favor."

"We'll see about that one."

The king motioned to the guard.

Stiles bowed and the other three followed suit. "It has been an honor."

The king bowed back. "Likewise emissary." The king nodded to the other three. "You as well." He looked to a guard who then began to lead them out. As they left fae talked and pointed at Stiles as they walked out.

They made their way back through the halls and to the circle.

"Well, we're not ones to over stay our welcome." Stiles nervously laughed. Upon seeing the fairy's unchanging face he nervously shoved Issac through the circle. "Best be going." Derek stepped through and they both followed.

---

As soon as they stepped back into the, now dark, woods they spoke hysterically, "Stiles, what the fuck!?" "What the ever loving hell Issac!" "Oh my god guys we made it! Hallelujah." Derek remained quiet.

Stiles turned to Issac. "Hallelujah. Hallelujah?! Like I want the one that got your ass out of there?"

Scott looked absolutely shell shocked. "Stiles? What the fuck?!"

Stiles looked back through the circle and saw the impassive guard still there. He gave a tiny wave. "Not here guys. Let's get back home."

"But yo-"

Stiles grabbed his arm. "Not. Here."

They walked in silence back to their cars.

"Let's talk at the loft. If my phone is right it's been over eight hours. Our packs will be worried."

Derek nodded. Scott jumped into the Jeep. Stiles followed him and started it. Issac watched them turn around then drive away before whirling on Derek. "What the hell? Why did the fairies think we had a bond?"

"Get in. It's going to take a little bit."

Derek started from the beginning and explained how Stiles and him had been in a relationship for over six months, how Stiles didn't want to betray Scott and his pack, and how the packs absolutely could not know, under any circumstances.

Issac understood quickly and they were on the road to the loft.

---

"Wait, you guys got the treaty signed, but somehow Issac almost got married off and then he did. But to Derek and Stiles? Now I'm kinda sad I didn't get to go. His little sad puppy face would've been hilarious." Jackson snorted.

Erica crossed her arms. "If you would have gone they would've taken one look at your cold conniving heart and made you stay because they thought you were one of them."

Lydia high-fived her and Jackson flipped both of them off.

Malia looked confused. "Did you actually all get married?"

Stiles sighed. "No matter how many times a different person asks, no. No, we did not get married."

Thankfully he got Scott to the loft without answering anything, but now it was him against both packs, who had been waiting for them together.

"Why isn't my brother here yet? Check your spouse bond. You can telepathically speak to your spouse if you're a werewolf. Ask him."

Stiles was so sick of them. "Cora, you absolutely cannot telepathically speak to your spouse if you are a werewolf. For Christ sake, you are the only born wolf here! You know that, stop being a dick."

She snickered.

Erica decided to join in. "Go on Stiles, check your spouse bond." Boyd cracked a small smile beside her.

"There is no such thing as a spouse bond!" He sounded manic.

"So you are married?" Allison played dumb.

"I swear to fucking Christ I will murder you all!"

As he screamed that Derek and Issac walked in with hesitant and fearful faces. "Bad time?"

"Perfect. Get in here and tell them we didn't all just get married."

"We didn't?" Issac looked relieved. "Oh thank fuck. I mean, you guys are better than Annalise, but no thanks. I thought with that bond shit he did he married us."

Jackson and Cora snorted.

Derek's pack walked up to him and checked to see if they were alright. "And just where the hell have you been? Stilinski drives recklessly, but he's not that much of a speed demon." Cora crossed her arms.

"Had to make a stop." Derek gruffly replied.

No one believed it.

Lydia finally piped up after having an analytical look on her face for awhile. "Wait, but how did the king see the bonds? He would've had to have seen something in order to believe you guys. Fairies hate lying. He must've believed you. What did he see?"

Issac looked at Stiles and Derek's panicked faces and thought about how much Derek had stressed their relationship remain a secret. His wolf howled for him to quickly defend and protect his alpha. He anxiously tried to think, but there were to many people staring expectantly. "I'm fucking Stiles!" He blurted.

Everyone's faces went wide with open shock, especially Stiles'.

Both packs instantaneously hurled questions. They overlapped and drown each other out with their volume.

"Everybody stop!" Stiles commanded.

There was silence.

"And here I was thinking Isaac was a bottom." Jackson snarked.

At least eight, "So did I."s were heard.

Isaac's cheeks flamed.

Stiles rolled his eyes. "He is a bottom. But thats no-"

The questions came from everyone except Issac who looked embarrassed and Derek who looked reserved.

"Everybody shut up! I'm not fucking Isaac!"

There was confused silence.

"Yes you are!" Isaac replied petulantly.

The shouting began once again.

Derek burst and finally roared at them while showing his eyes and teeth. They stopped. He grabbed Stiles' wrist and began yanking him behind himself. "We need to talk."

Scott instantly moved closer. "Whoa, whoa. Just because he's dating your beta doesn't mean you can shove him around! I get that you don't like it, but you don't see me pushing Isaac somewhere to give him the shovel talk."

Derek just growled threateningly.

Scott was about to respond when Stiles got in-between them. "Hey, hey, stop. No. Bad dogs. No fighting over the Stiles. Scott, just let me talk to him. I can handle this."

Scott opened his mouth.

"Remember what we just learned about trusting Stiles?" Stiles raised his eyebrows.

Scott closed his mouth and backed off.

Derek continued dragging Stiles up to his room. As the door shut behind them, Stiles was grateful for the soundproofing. "Thank God. I hav-"

Derek harshly clawed off Stiles' bracket without tearing his skin.

"Dude! What the hell!"

Derek didn't respond he just slammed Stiles against the wall and shoved his head into his neck.

"I repeat, dude, what the hell!?"

Derek licked a wide stripe up his neck. "Mine." He licked another stripe up the other side. "Mine."

"Okay, do you mind explaining? Because I'm starting to feel like a milkbone."

Derek teased the sensitive skin of his neck between his fangs. "He said we all had bonds."

"Yeah?"

Derek pulled back and looked calmer, but sad. "He saw bonds between all three of us, not just me and you. And then Isaac said that, so I thought-"

"You thought Isaac and I?"

Derek nodded to confirm. "I thought you were fucking him too. I needed to know, to smell that you were just mine."

Stiles shoved him back and off of him. Derek's eyes flashed hurt, but Stiles' held anger. "Fuck off!" He shoved his chest again. "Fuck off if you think I would ever do that to you. And especially fuck you for implying all we do is fuck. Derek, I love you. Fuck you for thinking that." Stiles' voice broke as he said the last sentence. Tears started to fall from his eyes. "God, fuck you so much."

Stiles went closer to the door and Derek quickly followed. He grabbed Stiles' arm. "Hey, hey. No. No baby, please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's just, shit, we can't tell anybody, you never smell like me, you use spells so I don't smell like you, we can't even go on dates. I'm going out of my mind here. We are so much more than fuck buddies, that isn't what I meant. I just want you to be mine. Hell, that's all I've wanted for the longest time. I just want you." Stiles turned back to him and Derek leaned their foreheads together. "I just want you. I love you."

Stiles closed his eyes and another tear raced down his cheek. They stood there together for a moment.

"Don't lose me thinking you already lost me. Because I swear to god Derek if you ever accuse me of cheating again, I'll shove wolfsbane so far up your ass you'll have to pick it out of your teeth. I love you so much it hurts my heart knowing you thought that about me. I could, and would, never cheat on you. You hear me Derek Hale? Never." Stiles looked deep into his eyes with glossy ones. "You're it for me. God, you are. You're the person I want to wake up beside and not have to leave covering up your marks. Hell, I don't want to leave our bed at all. I don't want to ever have to leave you. It tears me up inside."

Derek kissed him and Stiles kissed back ferociously, like he had to leave the second their lips parted. Stiles pulled back for air, but clung onto his neck desperately.

"What are we going to do?"

Stiles wiped his eyes and then  smirked. "I've got a plan."

"I'm going to hate this."

"You're going to love this."

"I have hated literally every single one of your plans since day one."

Stiles drew circles in the hair on the back of Derek's head with his finger tips. He smiled. "You didn't hate the one with the picnic and the strawberries with chocolate sauce and the-"

"Okay, I liked that one."

"You didn't absolutely hate your birthday with the-"

"Yes, I did like that one."

"What about two weeks ago with the woods and th-"

"Alright fine, your sex plans are perfect. Is this a sex plan? I would like to stress that this is the only time I'll say this, please say no."

"No, it is not a sex plan."

"Oh good. Then I probably will hate it."

Stiles grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together to pull him along. "Let's find out."

"Wait, wait! You're not wearing your bracelet."

"I don't need it."

Derek's eyebrows furrowed. "Have you finally learned how to block your scent?"

"No. Thanks for rubbing it in. I just don't need it." Stiles once again turned to the door and he stopped him.

"If you walk out there, they'll know. Scott, your pack. I can't do that to you. No matter how much this hurts, I can't do that because I know how much it would hurt you."

Stiles smiled softly and kissed him. "I love you for that. But it's okay."

Derek started to shake his head, but Stiles put a hand on his cheek. Stiles grinned. "It's okay. Trust Stiles." He pecked his lips and looked at him expectantly.

Derek nodded his head and Stiles' stroked his cheek with his thumb. "Perfect. Now, follow my lead, and when the moment is right you better sweep me off my feet, Hale."

"How am I supposed to know which moment you're talking about?"

"Trust me, you'll know when it's the moment."

Derek's eyes went emotional and his hand gripped Stiles' tighter. "Every moment with you is the moment Stiles."

Stiles rolled his eyes and kissed him, then pulled him to the door. Right as he reached for the doorknob he hesitated.

"What?"

"Next Friday is half off milkshake day at Sassy's. You'll order curly fries too. And I will eat half of them while you pretend not to notice. I want a proper out in public diner date. I'll meet you there at seven. Don't you dare be late, sourwolf."

Derek was over the moon. "Don't you dare be late. We both know I'm going to be there twenty minutes early nervously organizing the sugar packets and wondering if I put on enough cologne. Next Sunday I want to have breakfast with your dad. Don't you dare embarrass me."

"Perfect. And you know I will, but it won't matter because you've already won him over."

Derek held onto his hand like a life line. "Perfect."

Stiles let go and marched down the stairs. Derek followed.

They all quieted, but heard the last thing uttered. "You don't think he'd kill him for fucking Isaac, do you?"

"I'm not fucking Isaac, Alli."

"You ar-" Derek silenced Isaac by lifting a hand up. Isaac looked at him questioningly.

Derek shook his head. "Isaac is not fucking Stiles."

Stiles piped up, "Derek is fucking Stiles."

Everyone was stunned silent.

Derek's face was still not giving anything away. "And sometimes Stiles is fucking Derek."

Isaac let out a relieved breath. "Oh thank God that's over. Erica asked me what your face looks like when you come."

Derek shot her a dirty look and she stuck out her tongue. "Now I'll just ask you."

Everyone's shock faded at once, other than Scott who remained stunned. Loud, 'I told you,'s and, 'You owe me,'s exploded.

"For the love of fuck, shut up!" Stiles screamed.

Everyone looked at him.

"Thank you."

Scott finally caught up. "Wait. What!?"

Stiles turned to his gaping face. "Now Scott, I would like for you to bless the Hale alpha and I. Officially, that is. It's a little too late otherwise. Been there, done him multiple times."

Scott still looked confused. "Wait, like the fae king said? No! I don't want to use you like that! I'm not going to pimp you out for peace!"

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Scotty, keep up. Me and Derek bone like bunnies, we're in a relationship. I want to stare at his stupid face multiple hours of the day for the foreseeable future."

Scott looked like his brain broke.

Stiles huffed. "Oh for the love of God. I love him!"

Scott's face melted into a sappy grin. "Bro really?"

"Yeah, really."

Scott looked over to Derek who had a flat face. He sighed. "I love him too."

Scott turned back to face Stiles. "Broooo!"

Stiles grinned and looked down. "I know."

Scott seemed to get serious. "Okay, I give you to him."

Stiles pinched his brow. "You're not giving me over like I'm the last dinner roll on Thanksgiving dinner. You're giving your agreement and blessing to our relationship."

"Okay. I bless you."

"What are you, the pope?" Jackson snarked.

Scott's shoulders went up in a shrug. "Well, sorry! I don't know how to do this! I'm fine with it okay! You have my blessing."

Erica turned to Stiles. "You're good to go the next time you sneeze."

Derek pinched the bridge of his nose.

Stiles furrowed his brow in concentration. Derek put an arm on his shoulder. "What is is?"

"It should've worked."

"What should've worked?"

Lydia spoke, "You were hoping that if Scott blessed your relationship, you could bridge the two packs like the king said. You were hoping to make them one."

"But it didn't work. Maybe, Scott are you really not okay with it?"

Scott looked defensive and confused. "What? No. I'm so super okay with this! It's not me. I just want you to be happy. I know Derek is a good guy. It has to be something else. Stiles are you okay with it?"

Stiles looked defensive and snippy. "Of course I'm okay with it! I'm the one that wanted this! I am so beyond okay with this! I'm actually out of this universe okay with this! Derek are you okay with this?"

Derek looked like it was obvious and crossed his arms at the stupidity of the question. "Yes." He turned to Isaac sarcastically. "Are you okay with this? Husband ours?"

Isaac answered genuinely, "Yeah, of course."

Stiles crossed his arms back at Derek. He started to pace. "Okay, that should've worked. Why didn't work? The king said I could be the bridge to the packs, but why didn't it work? Do I need to do it with Isaac too? No, that doesn't make sense, it should work with just Derek. Maybe I have to actually marry him. No, in magical matters usually intent matters more than the actual contract. I intend to be with him. I intend to unite the packs..." Stiles looked up and stopped pacing. "Maybe its not about my intent. Or Derek's, or Scott's. You can't force a wolf to accept a pack. They have to choose it. I'm supposed to be the bridge, but you all still have to walk across it. You all have to choose to join each other. If I'm uniting packs, I kinda need packs permission. Are you guys okay with it?"

Four, 'Yeah!'s were heard and one, 'Hell yeah!' sounded. Cora looked at Stiles with squinted eyes. "Don't break him Stilinski."

They all turned to Jackson. He huffed and turned to Derek. "If Stilinski comes over at midnight to watch The Notebook with Lydia and he wakes me up with his blubberin, it's your ass I'm gonna paralyze."

They looked to Erica. "You all know I'm going to say yes. Especially with all the work batman put into trying to get the packs to get along."

Derek and Scott looked confused.

"Oh come on, we all know Scott is clueless, but you didn't know Derek? Lydia and I have standing nail appointments together ever since he took her on a day I just "happened" to be going. Jackson and him help Isaac with his complicated social worker law shit on Thursdays, which I have no idea what kind of magic he uses for that. Somehow, god knows how, he found out Boyd used to go deer hunting with his dad, and now he goes with Malia. That's just some of the shit he's done. Hell, he put together a training session without you guys about how to deescalate alphas challenging each other."

Cora piped up, "Oh come on Derek, you haven't smelled Isaac coming home on Fridays?"

He didn't want to mention that the spell Stiles used to get rid of his scent on Derek also kept him from smelling Stiles sometimes.

She continued, "He reeks of the sheriff and Stilinski. The sheriff all but adopted Isaac after hearing his sob story. He goes over there every week. Stiles is the main reason he's even surviving college. He wanted to get close to your beta, so he put all the fighting behind them. Well, most of the fighting." She shrugged.

Scott and Derek looked at Stiles. "Oh, don't give me that. The packs needed a lot of work, forgive me for wanting a head start. I wanted for them to at least be friends by the time you two got your heads out of your asses. Side note Derek, the bond between Isaac and I the king saw was probably the new friend thing we've got going on and the bond I was trying to forge to bridge everyone. That paired with how close you and Isaac are he probably couldn't tell the difference. Sight magic is hard, especially if there's a block. Like my bracelet or the spells I use on you. It probably muddled our relationships to each other enough." He turned to Erica. "Also, that wasn't a yes."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh for godsake, yes, you can be my new daddy Stiles. Scott too."

Just like the latch clicking behind you when you get home, they all felt the new pack bond slide into place like it was always waiting to.

Scott whispered awed and joyful, "Did we all just become one big awesome pack?"

Derek pulled Stiles' body to himself and dipped Stiles with a passionate kiss.

The pack hollered around them and Derek pulled him back up. "That was the moment, wasn't it?"

Stiles smiled at him. "Every moment is the moment with you, big guy."

[m0etenchandon]

Fur coat (Reader x Roger Taylor)

Pairing: Reader x 70s! Roger Taylor or Ben!Roger Summary: It´s just fluff. That´s it. That´s the fic Warnings: Some language maybe? Sexual suggestions A/N: So, this is my gift for @meddrowse (hi!) for the A Night at the Fandom event! It´s inspired by Roger in that fur coat. Word count: exactly 2,000

You caught Roger´s eyes the second he walked off stage, a sly smirk pulling at your lips. The view from where you were stood was perfect. You had a clear line to your favorite drummer, so you could watch him put all of his energy into his performance. Watch him throw his head back and wipe his sweat on his wristbands. Even though you had been in this position many times before, it was a view you never got tired of. Who would? He basically looked like he was having sex with the drum set.  

Roger jogged towards you and tried to put his arms around your waist, but you stopped him with a giggle.

“Not until you´ve showered”, you said. You leant in to press a quick kiss to his pouty lips, only to be pulled back in. Roger placed a hand on your face and held you in place as he deepened the kiss, making the butterflies in your stomach go into a frenzy.

“Roger”, you giggled, pushing him away from you, “There´s people around”

“Like you´ve cared before”, Roger teased, winking. You felt heat rush to your cheeks when you were reminded of the time you had been caught with Roger buried deep inside you in the empty studio. Or, you thought it was empty. It was not. Brian had walked in to get something from the table and immediately called for John and Freddie to come see. Needless to say, you hadn´t been able to look them in the eyes for weeks after that.

“We´re not doing that again”, you warned as Roger started walking towards the wardrobe. He grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. Proudly swinging your hands back and forth as you walked.

The rest of the band were already lounging in the dressing room as the pair of you entered. A girl was obviously trying to chat up John but he didn´t seem very interested. If at all. Freddie was removing his makeup and Brian was playing with the strings of his guitar. It was weird to think that only a few months ago you would have been completely star struck by the situation. This was your new normal.

“I´m going to hop in the shower, love”, Roger said, squeezing your hand before letting it go.

“Ok”, you smiled and started walking over to John. He looked like he was in need of a rescue.

“Well? Are you not going to join me?”, Roger asked, putting his hands on his hips. A smirk on his lips.

“Please don´t, Y/N. We don´t want to neither see nor hear you have sex ever again”, Freddie chimed in, turning to look over his shoulder. Roger shot him daggers. Fucking cock-block.

“I´ll just wait for you here, babe”, you said with a wink and watched him frown and disappear around the corner. Probably to mope in the shower.

John mouthed a thank you once you sat down next to him and started enthusiastically talking about the gig. The girl trying to get with him tried to join the conversation but either of you always cut her off. She eventually got tired and stumped out of the dressing room with a huff.

“What would I do without you, Y/N?”, John asked once she was gone, throwing his arms around your shoulders and hugging you into his side.

“Probably have girls swarming you right and left”, you giggled. You gave him a playful wink in the exact moment Roger returned. His eyes narrowed when he saw you cuddled into one of his best friends.

“Are you ready to go, love?”, he asked, nodding his head towards the door. It was your time to narrow your eyes this time. You always stayed and hanged out with the boys for a few hours.

“What? Where are we going?”, you asked. A smile spread over Roger´s lips. A sly one that was.

“It´s a surprise. Come on, I promise you´ll like it”, Roger said. He grabbed the fur coat off the rack and pulled it on over his shoulders. God that coat made something stir in your stomach every time he wore it. He just looked so good. And Roger knew. Of course, he did. You were pretty sure that´s why he wore it around you. It was basically a guaranteed shag if he had it on. A smile pulled at his lips.

You pulled up in front of a quiet lake. There were no people around, and the only light was coming from the headlights of the car.

“Roger, this is beautiful”, you said as he got out. He quickly jogged over to your side and opened the door for you. Ever the gentleman.

“I said you would like it, my love. Come on. I brought us snacks”, Roger said. He held his hand out to help you get out before reaching into the backseat to pick up a picnic basket. Ok. He definitely hadn’t thought about this himself, but it was cute.

“Who did you get this idea from?”, you asked.

“What? Don´t you think this is all me?”, he joked, pulling out a blanket from the basket. He laid it out on the ground and gestured for you to sit down.

“You´re not really the romantic type, Roger”, you giggled. You sat down next to your boyfriend and nudged his side, earning a goofy smile.

“We could just go home if you don´t like it”, Roger said. He opened the basket to show you what he had prepared. There were sandwiches, a bottle of wine and some chocolate. Nope. You were definitely staying.

“No, I like it. Thank you”, you said. You placed a finger on his jaw to force him to look at you before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. Roger melted into his touch. You could feel him let out a relieved breath of air against your top lip, causing you to pull away with a giggle.

Reaching into the basket, Roger fished out two glasses and poured you each of you some wine. He held his glass up to yours and waited for you to tip them together. His eyebrows raised in anticipation. You rolled your eyes.

“Cheers, my love”, he said with a wink before bringing the glass to his lips. He moaned softly at the taste.

“Cheers, Roger”, you giggled. The wine really was good. Probably way too expensive, but you didn´t want to think about that right now. You always yelled at Roger for spending too much money on you. He didn´t budge though, so you had kind of given up anyways.

“Have you guys made any more plans for the tour?”, you asked, sinking your teeth into the homemade sandwich. It was pretty good actually.

Queen had planned to go on an American tour in the next couple of months, and even though you hated bringing it up, you also wanted to encourage him to live his life. Even if it meant that you wouldn´t see him for months. Your heart ached a bit at the thought.

“Yeah. I think it´s pretty much all sorted”, Roger said, taking another sip of his wine, “I´m so excited to see all our fans. There´s nothing like hearing them sing each word back at you. And just hear them scream and see them smile. I just love it”

You hated the fact that your smile faulted a little bit.

“And have girls swarm you every night”, you said, nudging his side playfully. You hadn´t really been together that long, just a few months, and to be honest, you were terrified that he would break up with you once he left for tour. Why would he stick with you when he could have any girl he wanted? You would be thousands of miles away. In a different country, in a different continent even.

“Hey”, Roger said, grabbing your face. You swallowed the last piece of your sandwich and looked at him, unable to hide the hurt in your eyes. A tear threatened to escape your eye. “I don´t care about them, Y/N. You know I don´t”

His eyes were frantically searching yours, his thumb rubbing your chin to try and soothe you. It almost broke your heart.

“Yeah well we won´t see each other for months, I don´t see us-“

Roger cut you off by placing his lips on yours. You closed your eyes, relishing what you wouldn´t have for months. His lips were so warm. They felt like home.

“I love you”, he whispered against your lips. The words caught you off guard. He called you “my love” all the time, but you had never heard him say I love you. It felt so natural. So real. And you loved him too. Of course, you did. You would be lying to yourself if you said you didn´t.

“You do?”, you asked. Your eyes were still closed, his lips mere millimeters from yours. You could feel his hot breath on your face.

“Yes. I love you so much, Y/N. You have no idea. Please, I can´t hear you say we won´t see each other for months. It breaks my fucking heart, my love”, Roger said. His voice was rough from the concert, the words almost breaking off.

“Roger I- I love you too”, you said, finally opening your eyes to meet his blue ones. A gush of warmth spread over your body, making your heart ache. “But it´s the truth. Sure, we can call each other but it won´t be the same”

“Come with me”, he blurted out. “I don´t want to go if you´re not there”

“I would love to. I really would. But I can´t just leave my work, I´m not some rich rock star like you. And you can´t just not go because of me”, you said. You would be the worst girlfriend in the world if you let him stay home. You couldn´t do that. You couldn´t be that selfish.

You reached out to slide your fingers down the arm of his coat, letting the fur tickle your fingers before intertwining them with his.

“You know I´ll take care of that for you”, Roger said.

“I don´t want to live off of you, Roger. And I love my job”, you admitted. You would love to go. Who wouldn´t want to travel the world with a rock and their boyfriend? That´s the dream. Maybe you could ask your boss? It wouldn´t hurt. “But, I can ask my boss I guess”

A smile spread over Roger´s lips. He looked like he just won the lottery or something.

“That´s all I want, my love”, he gushed, grabbing your waist and pulling you into his lap. He laid back down and pulled you with him, his hands sliding down to his ass. Oh. There was the boyfriend you knew.

“We can´t celebrate yet”, you giggled, “I´m not sure he´ll let me go”

“There´s always something to celebrate when I´m with you, my love. Today, it can be that I finally grew the balls to tell you that I love you”

“You´re such a dork. I love you”, you said before pressing your lips to his. Roger tightened his grip on you and pulled you closer, the arms of his furry coat tickling your sides. It was nice though; it was pretty chilly outside.

Roger pressed his tongue passed your lips, which also sent a rush of warmth through your body. You hummed into the kiss, allowing yourself to melt completely into his body. Not a care in the world. That would have to wait until tomorrow.

Roger also got you back for skipping out on showering with him. His hands were wondering all over your body, pulling you close to his. Grinding his hips against yours. You ended the date by fogging up the windows of his car. That damn coat for sure gave him a guaranteed shag. The way you welled his name as you climaxed further supporting the statement.

Masterlist

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[hadestownmodern]

“this is literally a shit show god help us” was the name of the google doc that this pic was on. Aka Eurydice takes embarrassing pictures while encouraged by Persephone

Annika here! This was inspired directly by the conversation Danielle and I had that went like 

“I’d take pictures like that”

“I’d get drunk and cheer you on in the corner.”

This is pure crack but please enjoy. 

“So...first anniversary is coming up. What’s the plan?” Persephone teases, nudging Eurydice with her shoulder. She’s swirling a wine glass, the deep plum color of the wine nearly spilling out over the top. 

“Hmmm? Oh.. haven’t really thought of it.” It’s honestly not on her mind. “It’s on thanksgiving Persephone,  not the most romantic of holidays. Besides..we get married in a month anyway.” Eurydice finishes writing the words onto her notebook before the train of thought leaves her. Only a few short assignments come between Eurydice and her degree, Christmas, and her wedding. 

“Well you two clearly did not have any trouble finding romance last year..” Persephone comments, gesturing to the sleeping three month old Eurydice cradled in her arm, a direct souvenir from their prior thanksgiving festivities. “And I would really rather you didn’t celebrate the same way, because Melody is precious but you don’t need any more.” 

“Oh, like you didn’t invite me over with ulterior motives that day.” Eurydice shuts her book and shoves it haphazardly in her bag, before settling into the booth more comfortably before her shift began that night. “We don’t want to spend money on anything...we are literally getting married in four weeks.”

“Well..doesn’t mean the romance needs to die before it starts…” She finishes her wine, and at once a coy smile slips over her features. “I have a brilliant idea. Tonight, after closing, come on down to the bar…” Persephone sits her glass down and holds her hands out, making grabbing gestures for the baby. “What size are you now? C..D?” Persephone gestures to Eurydice’s chest with a finger, and a raise of the eyebrow. 

“Why does that matter-”

“Regardless, here’s the plan. You, bring your little milf body down to the bar after closing. I’ll bring the camera, i’ll go buy you something a lil sexy to wear..” Persephone smiles as she takes Melody, kissing her head before holding her sleeping body closer. “You and me, we’ll do some home made presents I promise he won’t forget.”

“Are you...Persephone!” Eurydice’s skin flushes pink as she registers what persephone is suggesting. “I am not taking..those...kind of pictures. Let alone in this bar. Let alone with you!” 

“LIsten. All i’m saying is he won’t be expecting it and it’s the gift that keeps on giving if you know what I mean.” Persephone winked, smiling down at little Melody with a teasing grin. “Just hope it doesn’t give you another one of these. I’ll be down here tonight, right after closing. Tell Orpheus you have to help close and re-stock.”

“You’re ridiculous. Why would he want to see pictures, I’m literally right here…”

“Trust me.” 

Regardless of her hesitance, she did stay late in the bar that night. She had Melody against her shoulder, filling out an order form for the next day when Persephone strolled in- Persephone and a small entourage of people.

“Seph, what the fuck! You said it was you and a camera!” Eurydice is suddenly flustered at the idea of..exposing..herself to so many strangers in an attempt to get a semi-sexual photo out of it. 

“Well..It’s me. And my photographer. Grace does all our pictures, has for years. And these are just her assistants to help with lighting!” Persephone tosses a little pink bag in her general direction, far too small to contain anything of any substance. “Gimme the baby, go put that on.”

Eurydice caught the bag and her eyes went wide. “Persephone. How much did you spend on this-”

“It’s my anniversary gift to you, not like you won’t wear it again. Besides, I feel like it’s my job to keep the romance alive since it was my dinner that you decided was a good reason to have a three day fuck-fest upstairs. Go. Change.” Persephone reached her arms out and simply grabbed Melody, quickly holding the sleeping baby to her chest to keep her asleep as long as possible. 

Eurydice glared, before slipping into the bathroom down the small hall. When she didn’t emerge after a few minutes, Persephone took it upon herself to knock. “You can’t hide in there forever.”

Persephone wasn’t expecting to open the door to see heavy tears running down Eurydice’s face, or to see her clinging so tightly to the silk robe. “I can’t go out there in this...look at me, Persephone.” Eurydice tilted her head back to try to keep the tears in her eyes, blinking violently to keep them at bay. “I’m spilling out of the top, and it doesn’t cover all the stretched out skin and- I can’t take a picture like this…” She is shaking her head rapidly, chest heaving with the impending panic. 

“Hey, hey, Eurydice, baby.” Persephone steps closer, taking her face in her hand. She holds the young girl’s cheek, and kisses her forehead gently. Slowly. “You are absolutely beautiful. The top, thats how it’s gonna fit honey, i’m sorry. You can thank Melody here for that. But you get to do things for her that noone else can, Eurydice.” She turned her to face the mirror, keeping one arm around her shoulders. “You made a person, Eurydice. You made a little person a year ago, who loves you more than anything. Think of it as the anniversary of that.” 

Eurydice nods, but her hands still grasp desperately at the ends of the shirt, holding it tightly over her middle. 

“Here. Change of plans.” Persephone decides, running her hand over Eurydice’s short hair. She gently shifts Melody back into her arms, the infant in her constellation colored pajamas now covering the black lace on Eurydice’s chest. “Come on. What’s a milf without a baby, right?” 

Persephone leads her out, and helps her step up onto the bar, fixing the straps on Eurydice’s shoulders and the golden bow on Melody’s head at the same time. 

She whispered something to her friend, through her eyes never left Eurydice, who looked at her daughter like she was one of the stars on the onesie she wore. 

Yes, there were pictures taken, though the night is more of a blur to them both than they expected. 

Persephone, midway through a bottle of tequila, screaming endless encouragement of “God you are fucking HOT, Eurydice. I get it, I totally get it. Spread your legs or something..I don’t know, you’re fucking hot, own it!”

Eurydice passes her baby back and forth between Persephone and herself, actually finding herself smiling at the antics of her friend throughout the night. 

“It’s probably a good thing Melody is so clingy, you’d have another by now.” Persephone teases as she hands the fussing girl back to Eurydice at the end of the session, Melody now long past ready for bed, ready to sleep in the arms of her mom.  Persephone ignores a call for the tenth time that night, dropping her phone into her coat pocket, though Eurydice notices how her fingers itch for it. 

“You got somewhere else to be?” Eurydice teases, settling her sweater back over her head, wanting nothing more than to climb into bed besides Orpheus upstairs. 

“It’s my damn husband. He knows where I am, but Junie won’t sleep now that she knows i’m gone.” She rolls her eyes, though Eurydice can see through the cool exterior. 

“And you say mine is clingy- at least she’s only three months old!” She holds her hands out to take Melody for the last time. “Go. I’ll see you tomorrow, Junie’s waiting.” 

Persephone nods and grabs her bag, wiping at her eyes quickly. “Night, baby.” She says to neither Eurydice nor Melody specifically. 

“Night Seph..oh. And thank you. I actually think I had fun.” Eurydice rocks slightly with melody, offering a tired but genuine smile. 

“I know you did.” She teases as she leaves, hand going for her phone as soon as she was out the front door of the bar so she could call her insomniac daughter. 

Eurydice kisses Melody’s head, locking up the back door of the bar, before climbing the quick flight of stairs to her home. 

Orpheus was awake in bed, strumming an old guitar he had been trying to tune. His eyes lit up when he saw them coming, her spot in the bed already turned down with her favorite pajamas ready. “Hey! Long night?”

She kisses him, passing Melody to his chest effortlessly, before grabbing the pajamas to put on after her shower.

“You’ve got no idea.” 

Persephone was right, Eurydice learned a week later on Thanksgiving morning when she handed him a wrapped album, full of some of the pictures from that night. 

Yes, his eyes went wide when he saw one of her with his bandana around her neck. Yes, his heart stopped beating momentarily when he caught the wide angle shot of her on laying the bar top, eyes closed with a skirt rucked up around her hips. 

The ones that really got to him, though, were of her with their daughter against her chest, eyes trained on the baby in her arms. Ones that somehow looked like the most natural thing in the world, despite the makeup and raunchy clothes she wore. 

She should have expected that he’d slip one specific one out, to keep in his guitar case. One with her sitting cross legged on the bar top, a gauzy black skirt spread around her. She held Melody with both her hands, their bodies perpendicular to each other. He couldn’t tell anything about Melody’s expression, though he knew it must be a smile the way it always was when she was with her mother. No, it was Eurydice’s face that caught his eye. The way her eyes sparkled, even in the black and white photo, and the way her smile spread across her face as she so clearly was speaking to their daughter some words of love. 

“You are so so beautiful, Eurydice.” He is not usually at a loss for words, though he is when he leans in to kiss her, both hands going to her waist to pull her closer, to pull her ontop of him as he laid back. 

Yes, Eurydice decided, she would have to thank Persephone later.

[sexcoffeeandkellynickelsfics]

Be My Vampy Valentine?

Vampire Izzy One Shot

Izzy’s been getting some anonymous love letters! Is someone messing with him or does he have a secret admirer!

A little something I wrote for @slashscowboyboots about her man!! ❤️❤️

“Seriously who keeps sending me these?” Izzy slammed the card down on the counter.

“Stop being so loud it’s broad daylight and my eyes and ears are extra sensitive” Duff complained.

“Shouldn’t of banged so many chicks and got high on my good blood then should you?” Izzy muttered under his breath so quietly no one heard him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you anyway?” He asked flopping down on the sofa next to Slash covering his face with a blanket.

“He’s pissy because he’s had another lovey dovey card from that anonymous sender again” Slash told Duff who just groaned.

“What does it say this time?” Duff asked peeking from the top of the blanket.

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I want to bang your fangs and for you to bite me after I do” Izzy whispered. Thank god vampires don’t blush he thought to himself.

The apartment erupted into laugher, Slash and Duff laughing so hard they almost fell off the sofa.

“That’s the best one yet!” Axl howled.

“Nah the best one was you might have no pulse but I could still give you a boner” Slash giggled sending himself into a laughing fit that saw him hit the floor.

They watched as Izzy lit a cigarette and stared at the newest addition to the collection of cards he’d been receiving over the last month or so. He pondered for a moment was someone messing with him or did he have a secret admirer.

“Well I think it’s cute” Steven piped up.

“Aww you jealous Stevie?” Duff asked patting the drummers fluffy blonde hair.

“Maybeeee” Steven pouted.

A few days passed and Izzy was a little disappointed there hadn’t been anymore cards which made him believe more it was just one of the guys being a dick.

He heard a bunch of banging against the door later that afternoon and assumed it was of the guys and they had forgotten their key. He flung the door open ready to come out with something about keeping the fucking noise down but there was no one there. That’s when he saw it, a black box tied with a white ribbon. He bent down to pick it up and carry it back inside.

Izzy carefully placed the box on the counter in the kitchen and read the label.

“Would you be my vampy valentine?

Love K”

The end of the label sealed with a kiss print.

Izzy loosened the ribbon pulling it off the mysterious box and lifted the lid. Inside was a beautiful handcarved beaded necklace. He was quite take aback at the gesture, he couldn’t remember the last time anyone had sent him a gift. He had to find out who it was.

“Wow she really must wanna get on those fangs if she’s sending you gifts now!” Axl shouted over Izzy’s shoulder making him jolt in surprise.

“Fuck off, I think it’s nice” Izzy said flipping the red head off.

Days passed again, the mysterious card and gift giver invading Izzy’s every thought throughout the day and night. Who was she? Where did she work? Where did she live? Why him? Not many were kind and cared towards him.

February 14th - Valentines Day

Izzy was all alone. AGAIN. He had no girlfriend, the others were all out wooing significant others or trying to pull and he was home all alone. Duff had met some British girl who’d recently moved here and worked at one of their local digs, Axl was fuck knows where and Slash and Steven were out trying to pull every woman they could find with a pulse.

Instead of being miserable he decided to screw around with some guitar and lyrics for the new album they were working on. He’d had a pretty productive afternoon and written a whole songs worth of lyrics and was working on the guitar parts. He heard banging outside the door and was all ready to assume of the guys had got another girl too drunk to function and was bringing them home to bang. He placed his guitar down on the sofa, stood up and walked to open the door muttering several questionable words under his breath.

He opened the door revealing gigantic bouquet of red roses. A face popped round the side of them and smiled. Izzy blinked several times. She was beautiful, blonde hair and the most beautiful blue eyes he’d ever seen. It took him a moment to bring himself to speak.

“K?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Or I’d much rather prefer you call me Karen” she smiled.

He didn’t speak again just grabbed her hand making her giggled and pulled her through the door kicking it shut behind them.

[fruit-teeth]

Backwards and Forwards

(So! Here we are again, with yet another freewrite. This one, however, got EXTREMELY angsty, and I dunno if it’s because I’m tired or because I’m a softhearted little baby, but I actually cried at least twice while writing it. Anyways, for this one we got Engineer meeting up with the daughter he put up for adoption years ago and.......hooooo boy. This is a ride. Anyway, hope you enjoy.)

It occurred to Dell, as he waited outside the convenience store, that he’d never properly met the person he’d agreed to reunite with.

He knew one thing: her name was Mayella, and for the past twenty years he’d had little to no contact with her. He had met her only one time, and it had been very brief— the whole day was a blur, but it was one he recalled as the most stressful moment of his life. It was the day she was born, so it should have been the best day ever, but for a terrified young man who had never wanted children, it was quite the opposite.

She’d been placed in his arms for just a few seconds before he had choked out, “Please take her away, I don’t want her!” before handing her to the nearest nurse and burying himself back into the blankets while ignoring her cries. He remembered how different the nurses and the doctor treated him after that incident: like he’d committed a horrible sin, like he was now less of a person because he hadn’t agreed to take care of a little thing the universe had quite literally dropped onto his lap without warning. Yet as the paperwork was taken care of and the infant was removed out of Dell’s life, he didn’t really regret the decision. He continued his studies, worked as hard as he could, and ended up taking over the job passed down to him from his grandfather. He reached success, he grew into the man he’d always wanted to be, and he wouldn’t have traded that for the world.

And yet...

He did think about her, more than he’d like to admit. Whenever he’d see children playing outside on playgrounds, while their parents watched or pushed them on the swings, he couldn’t help but feel a deep ache in his heart. That could have been him, playing games with his little girl, helping her down the slide or pushing her on the swing set, but it wasn’t. However, whenever those regretful thoughts would creep in, he’d push them back with one overarching mindset, the one he’d had since the day she was born: she had a new family now. She had parents who were ready to care for her, who had the time and the means to bring up a child. Wherever she was, she was happy, and that was all that mattered. Dell had nothing to regret.

Now he watched the store where she’d agreed to meet him over the phone. Her voice sounded so rough for a twenty year old, and if Dell hadn’t known who she was he would have assumed she were a much older woman. But, no, she was his child. His daughter— how strange. He had no idea what she even looked like, but all she’d told him was that she’d be wearing a pink bandanna around her neck.

And all of the sudden, Dell looked out the window and there she was. From far away, she looked so small and fragile, but as she got closer she became what she was: a thick-bodied girl with arms and hands that spoke of years of hard, physical work. Dell quickly unlocked the passenger side door, opening it for her.

“Howdy!” He exclaimed, and then realized he actually had no plan for what else he was going to say. What was the proper protocol for meeting one’s own child? He had no idea, but he didn’t have much time to think as she was already in the seat next to him.

Mayella situated herself in the seat next to him, where she immediately pulled out a little glass bottle from her plastic bag.

“I got you some sweet tea,” she told him timidly, though her voice suddenly didn’t match her face anymore. She placed the still-cold bottle into his palm. “Ain’t as good as what I got back home, but...”

Dell couldn’t help but laugh, gratefully taking the bottle. “Aw, thanks! You didn’t have to get me nothin’, it looks mighty good,” he started the car back up once he’d closed the door. “I was thinkin’ I’d just take you to my place, that okay?”

Mayella nodded. “Yep, that’s fine,”

They did talk during the car ride, much to Dell’s delight. He was so worried the drive would be awkward, but once he started asking her about school and what she wanted to do, they hit it off right away. He learned that she was studying to be an architect, while also dabbling in physics, and he couldn’t have been prouder.

Once they arrived to the rental cabin where Dell was staying for the week, he let her in and showed her to a seat.

“You want anything to eat? Drink?” He wanted to know as they both sat down in the living room.

Mayella shrugged. “Nah, I’m good,”

“All right,” Dell folded his arms, before the room became silent. Neither of them said anything for a long moment, and after a few seconds Mayella took a breath.

“So...” she started, staring down at the floor. “I guess the first thing I wanna ask is...why’d you give me up?”

Dell knew she was going to ask that, and luckily he’d prepared an answer. “Well, i was real young, you know? I was still in school, I didn’t have a job or nothin’, I couldn’t care for a baby,” he smiled reassuringly at her. “I knew you’d be better off if you had a family who could take care of you properly, y’know?”

Mayella just nodded, looking back up at him. “Okay...that’s kinda what I figured,”

“Yeah,” Dell agreed. He paused, before posing the question, “So, uh, what’s your family like, anyway?”

“Good, I guess,” Mayella sat up taller, tucking her hair back. “We got a farm, we sell apples and peaches. Make a lot of money,”

Dell felt relieved to hear that. “Good, real good. Got any siblings?”

Mayella nodded. “Yep. Got a lil’ sister, her name’s Ruby. She’s in high school,”

“Oh, that’s great!” Dell grinned, glad to hear she wasn’t an only child in that household. “I bet you two get along real well,”

Mayella’s smile faltered. “Ah, well...I mean...not really,” she let out a little laugh. “I-I mean, she’s great, she’s a nice kid, I guess, but...” she sighed. “This is gonna sound real stupid, but...I’ve always been jealous of her,”

Dell frowned. “Jealous? Aw, hon, you can’t go around bein’ jealous,”

“I know, I know,” Mayella waved him off. “It’s just...I knew I was adopted, y’know? And Ruby, well...she wasn’t,”

Dell slowly realized what Mayella was saying. “Oh...” he went quiet, before asking, “Your mom and dad, did they...did they treat you different from her?”

Mayella didn’t look at him. “Yeah,” she admitted after a long pause. “She was their lil’ miracle baby, they had no idea she was gonna show up. She was a gift from the heavens, she got everythin’ she wanted. And me?” She sighed again, though this time it sounded wearier. “I was just the fat big sister. I did all the chores, all the work, while mom and dad gave her the world and all the stars. I used to hate her back then, but...I don’t now. It ain’t her fault,”

Dell’s heart sank at what he was hearing. His daughter, a modern day Cinderella? He’d never even entertained the thought.

“Oh, Mayella...” he took her hand into his, squeezing it. “Hey...I-I’m sorry,”

Mayella squeezed his hand back, but she assured him, “It’s okay, really. Mom and dad gave me a roof over my head, at least, so I guess I should be grateful, yeah?” She cleared her throat. “Besides, it wasn’t like I was an easy kid,”

“Yeah?” Dell moved a little closer to her. “Well, neither was I. No kid is really ‘easy’,”

“I know, but...” Mayella frowned. “I was always a very emotional kid. Used to piss everyone off when I’d cry over nothin’. One day mom got so angry at me ‘cause I was cryin’ so much after a boy in my class called me a fat cow, and it was keepin’ her from cookin’ dinner,” she laughed, but it was a laugh clearly masking pain. “She called for dad all like, ‘Mayella’s bein’ wishy-washy, get in here and give her somethin’ to cry about!’ God, it’s so clear in my head...”

Dell, however, was horrified. “They didn’t hug you? They didn’t talk to your teacher about the kid who harassed you? They got mad at you for bein’ sad?”

Mayella seemed a bit confused. “Well...no, I mean— I had to fight my own battles. Can’t rely on mom and dad for everything, y’know?”

“I know!” Dell blurted out, perhaps a bit louder than he’d meant to. “I just...” he sighed, feeling regret welling up in his heart. “Had that been me...I would have hugged you, told you how beautiful you are, and gone to give that teacher a piece of my mind about lettin’ some kid call you names,” he looked down to his hands for a moment, going quiet, imagining it. He imagined her as a little girl, coming to him in tears, while he fixed her a nice meal and kissed her tears away. Afterwards, he’d sit with her on the front porch and play silly songs on the guitar for her until she smiled again. God...that would have been something.

He looked back up with her, just in time to see the tears falling from her eyes, and he realized she’d been imagining it too. She sniffled, her lower lip shaking as she tried to smile. “That would’ve been real nice,” she choked out, her eyes shimmering. She roughly wiped them away with her wrist, sighing. “I...I always thought you’d never want me. No one wanted me when Ruby came, no one wanted to date me in high school ‘cause I was just the weird fat chick, and no one wants me now...” she looked down at herself, a disgust in her eyes. “I hate being me sometimes,”

That did it. Dell stood right up, going straight to her side and pulling her into his arms for a tight embrace. “Don’t you dare say that,” his voice shook when he spoke, but he could hardly care. “Fuck all of those folks who couldn’t see your worth— fuck them for makin’ you think those awful things about yourself,” tears were trailing down his cheeks, now, and he pulled away just enough to brush her hair out of her face and look her in the eyes. “You are so damn smart, and you are beautiful, Mayella. In every possible definition of the word, you are beautiful,”

Mayella broke out into loud sobs, and she buried her face in his chest, letting out the years of frustration of self hatred as she wept. She held him like a lifeline, sobbing as her tears soaked his clothing, but he couldn’t care less. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her so tightly that he never wanted to let go. He wasn’t going to let her go again— she was his to keep, now.

As he held his daughter and cried with her, he felt himself wanting to sink deeper into regret. His mind reeled with the ‘what ifs’ and the ‘if onlys’, but he pushed it all down.

He couldn’t live in the past, all he could do was gather her back into his arms and move forward. Perhaps he couldn’t make peace with that in this moment, since he was far too emotional to think rationally, but he would later.

For now, he settled onto the sofa with Mayella all wrapped up in his arms, and he let her rest against his shoulder. She’d mostly calmed down, but she smiled up at him weakly, her eyes red from the tears.

“Y’know,” she remarked after a moment. “Out of all of the folks out there who could’ve been my dad, I’m real glad it’s you,”

“Me too, kid,” he sighed, laying his chin against her hairline. “Me too...”

[cilliansaccent]

The Peaky Designer - Cillian Fanfic, Chapter 10

Hello, welcome back. Below is the next instalment of my fanfiction!

Leave a like or a comment if you liked it, or if I can do anything better! Please, it would mean the world and to understand if anyone is enjoying my writing. Also, sharing/reblogging would be even better.

PLEASE READ:

I will not be including Cillian’s family as it’s kinda weird since he has children lmao. Just a mention of his parents and a previous lover.

I will indicate in a chapter if there is smut in the beginning and before the actual scene!!

I will add trigger warnings if there is any!!

There is a variety of levels of swearing during a chapter, I will not hold back, everyone swears.

The timestamp for the Fic is now 2016 and onwards!! e.

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Background: Gabrijela Babic is a Croatian girl from Sydney, Australia. She is born in the year 1991 on the 24th of December. She studies a Fashion degree in a University with a major in Game Design as well. Her teacher in the fashion designer class managed to nail an Internship on the set of Peaky Blinders with the shows very own Costume Designer, Allison McCosh. There, she travels to London for under a year to learn how to be one, working alongside the actors as well the man she admires, Cillian Murphy. But, her platonic feelings for the man begins to grow into something more, and she wonders whether she should pursue them or let him go for fear of her strict parents and her three older brothers…

Characters:

Swantje Paulina as Gabrijela Babic (swalina on Instagram)

Cillian Murphy

Word Count: 4,137

!!Warnings!!: Smut!! Graphic Smut!!! ;) Enjoy you naughty kiddies.

Date: December 2016

Chapter Name: Distract me, Cillian.

Brief Chapter Outline: Gabrijela talks to Cillian what happened to her at the Christmas party before they discuss her hobby as a band member before it ends with one hell of a steamy afternoon...

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When Gabrijela woke up, she felt sick and iffy. She coughed pushing herself up with an arm as she rubbed her eyes. She was alone in the bed, but the door was open and she could hear music coming from downstairs. 

She got out of the bed and found some slippers set beside the bed. She slipped them on. She walked over to the window and pushed back the heavy drapes, it was raining lightly outside. She loved the rain, this was perfect weather to be in bed. 

She smiled and turned and headed out of the room and down the stairs. The music was Christmas music, the classics that everyone would play. She peaked her head through the threshold to the living room and found Cillian sitting in the armchair before the fire, reading with his glasses on. There was a large flatscreen TV above the fire mantle. Near the bay window, there was a Christmas tree set up. No presents beneath it. 

"Good morning." She said, her voice coming out rough. She cleared her throat. 

Cillian looked up, "Oh morning." He said as he tucked in a bookmark and took off his glasses as he stood. "How did you sleep?" 

"Really good. Cozy and warm. You?" She asked as she came over and sat down in the two-seater couch. 

"Same as you. I haven't made breakfast yet as I don't know what you want today." He said as he sat back down. 

"Well, I'm craving chicken soup. Mum would always make it for me when I was sick." She said. 

"Hm, well I don't have it but I can run down to the store to buy some?" He offered. 

"If you don't mind. I'll write down the ingredients." She said and he passed her his phone so she could jot down what she needed. 

"That's it?" He looked at the list. 

"Yeah. That's all. It's simple but super tasty." She smiled. 

"Okay then, I'll be back soon." He said and touched her shoulder as he left. 

She pulled the knitted throw around her and watched the fire, getting lost in her thoughts. She could hear the faint ringtone of her phone upstairs but didn't feel like getting it. But it kept ringing and she sighed as she got up to go check it. 

Missed calls from Logan and Lucia and from her dad. "Fuck." She grumbled, she had to call her dad back. So she did and apologised to him that she didn't pick up last night and that she was tired and exhausted. But Lucia had told her dad about last night but in a twisted way. Gabrijela was drunk and had attacked Lucia when she was with some guy. 

"So you would believe her rather than me?" She snapped at him. "How could you." 

"I am getting your side of the story, Gabrijela." He said, his tone hard. 

"Well, I didn't attack no one, Dad. She was being... she..." she choked on the words, "You know what she was doing with another man in a bathroom stall." She held back her tears that threatened to come. 

"Gab..." His voice softened, "Did you love this man?" 

Gabrijela thought about it, she had started to fall for Logan, "No." She shook her head, "But I was falling for him." 

Her father had fallen silent but sighed, "Are you okay?" 

"I'm dealing. I'll be fine." She shrugged, "Anyway, I gotta go." She said as she heard the door unlock and open. "Goodnight dad." She waved. 

"Goodnight my blossom," He smiled and hung up. 

She got up and headed down the stairs and went into the kitchen. It was entirely white with light brown beams that framed the window above the double basin sink. Countertops were made of white marble with pale grey cracks in it. It opened up to the dining room that leads out to a small deck and then flowed into the green garden. 

The kitchen had a farm touch to it, "You have a really nice house, Cillian." She said. 

"Thank you. I like the coziness of it. I'll take you upstairs after breakfast, you'll love it." He smiled as he set out the items. "So what should I do first?" 

"I'll do it," She shakes her head, "You can admire me from afar." She came over and bumped her hip with his to nudge him out of the way. 

"From afar? Why not close?" He cocked a brow perfectly. 

"Close then, but I forbid you from helping." She pointed at him. "Where are the pots?" 

He showed her and she got into it. The recipe was simple, but it wasn't going to be exactly like how her mum would make it. But it was better than nothing. 

Soon enough they sat on the couch before the fire, bowls in their hands and they ate. A throw was covering their legs. 

"This is so good. Better than what I made that first time." He said and tipped his head back to drink the soup. 

"Nah, I think we are tied." She said doing the same before she set the bowl down on the table. 

"You think so?" He looked at her, hooking his arm over the back of the couch, holding his head up with a hand. 

"I do think so." She moved closer to him as she got comfy. 

"Did you want to watch TV?" He asked as he watched her sigh and lay her head back. 

"No. Not really." She shook her head, her expression changing. 

He frowned a little before he took her hand, "I'm here for you, okay?" 

She looked down at their held hands then met his blue eyes, tears lined her eyes, "I'm hurting, Cillian." She whispered as she moved into his arms, an arm over his stomach. 

"Talk to me." His arms went around her, squeezing her gently. 

"Last night... Logan threw a Christmas party and I brought along Lucia, my best friend cause she came to see me. You know the one you saw in that video chat all those months ago?" 

"Yeah, I remember." He nodded. He had an idea of where this was going. 

"So yeah, at the party, everything was going well but I had this weird feeling something wasn't right. And then I went to uh... I went to look for Logan and... In the bathroom... He... He was with Lucia... They-" She choked as tears began to fall again. 

"Darling you don't need to say it. Hey, hey shhh." He wiped away her tears, cupping her cheek. 

"They've been doing it behind my back for four months, Cillian." She sobbed, the emotions rushing through her, "I-I shouldn't have trusted him so fast. Fuck I made the wrong choice." She whispered burying her face in his neck. 

His heart broke for her, it made him so upset to see her like this. How could anyone think to hurt someone as sweet and kind like her? 

"Do not let this ruin you, Gabrijela." He murmured into her hair, "You don't deserve these tears. Not on this beautiful face." He pulled back to gaze into her eyes. 

"The worst thing is the whole thing is so similar to how my ex ended up. God," she frowned and looked at the fire. "I shouldn't have trusted him. I thought he was better." 

"Sometimes people can be cruel despite their pretty demeanour," Cillian muttered. 

Gabrijela nodded and turned back to him, "But I know you are true and real." She sniffled as she touched his cheek. "You're a good man, Cillian. Truly." 

He smiled, "And you are a wonderful woman, Gabrijela. I've never met someone so natural as you." 

"Distract me today, Cillian." She whispered, a hand on his chest. 

"I will try." He nodded, "Come, let me show you the third floor." 

They got up and headed to the top. 

She gasped, the whole floor was transformed into a mini library of some sort. The wall had shelves full of books, memorabilia of awards and all that. A fireplace took a spot between the bookshelves with some seriously comfy-looking couches. 

"I've kept the majority of things from when I was younger, things from school or gifts and whatnot." He explained all the knick-knacks he had. 

"Awesome." She was in absolute awe. 

He had a guitar as well and a ukulele that hung on the wall. "You play the ukelele?" She asked as she came over and plucked it off the wall. She strung her fingers along it. 

"Yeah. The main thing I bring when I go away." He watched how she became a whole new person. The pain in her eyes seemed to go away as she began to play a melody. 

He was surprised, "You play?" 

"I do. I know how to play the guitar and the cello, I'm an expert in both." She smiled. 

"Why didn't you tell me this before? Just for fun or...?" He sat down as he listened to her play. 

"Been in a band since I was sixteen. I play the electric guitar and also sing with Elijah who plays the bass guitar, Karsyn does the drums and Maya is on the keys and her partner plays the extra guitar. Lucia never really liked it but always tried to be apart of it... We had to kick her out cause she caused too many headaches for all of us." She said, finishing off her melody. "Elijah and I play the cello together, he's probably the next close friend of mine." 

"What kind of genre you play?" Cillian asked. 

She put the instrument back where she found it, "Anything really, we like to do covers and we have some of our own songs. We play every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night at this club in Sydney, Maya and her husband owns it and its very popular." She walked along the bookshelves, running her fingers along the many novels. 

"Wow. And you kept this all from me!" He smiled, "I have to definitely come to Sydney and see you play." 

She giggled and picked up a phot of when he was younger, "Not because you want to see me?" 

"That too. I was twenty there." He got up and peered over her shoulder. 

"Wow. Look at this young man. You haven't aged at all. Are you immortal?" She smirked up at him. 

"Some say I'm aging like fine wine." He chuckled and she put the photo back. 

"Oh, I can so agree on that." She patted his cheek. 

"Can I ask you something?" He asked. 

"Go ahead." She turned to him once more. 

"Your birthday is coming up, do you have any plans on that day?" 

She raised a brow, surprised he remembered it, "Uh, I mean I did but... with what happened... No. I'm free all day." 

"Good. I've got something you will love to see." He grinned. 

"Can I know?" She crossed her arms. 

"Nope. It's a secret." He said. 

She whined, "Ugh fine. What are you doing for the next day? It's Christmas." 

"Flying back to Cork to spend three days with my family." He said. 

"Oh... Really?" She had hoped she could spend the day with him. She couldn't hide her sadness in her tone. 

"I got two tickets." He said, eyes trained on her. 

"And?" She tilted her head to the side, confused as to why he told her that. 

"You're coming with me." He laughed at the shock on her face. 

"Cillian! I couldn't! No!" She hit him lightly. 

"Yeah, you are coming with me. I want to show you my hometown. It's going to be fun." He took her arms gently, his smile soft. 

She pouted, "You sure? I... Your family... wouldn't they think it's weird that you're bringing someone like me to their table...?" 

"No. Of course not. They will love you. I only told them I'm bringing someone wonderful." His arms moved around her waist and she stepped closer, her hands on his biceps. 

She giggled, "Oh Cillian," She smiled, only he could make her forget about her problems. She felt so at home in his arms, "I see that record player. Put something on and we can dance." 

"Yeah? Alright." He pulled away and set the player up and picked out a good record. He placed it down and the needle before he pulled her back close. 

They swayed together, body to body. Rain fell harder but everything seemed so magical. Her head was resting on his shoulder and she could feel the tickle of his breath on her neck. 

"Cillian?" She murmured. 

"Hm?" His hand was splayed on her back, between her shoulder blades. 

"Please don't leave me." She said in a soft, shaky voice. 

He pulled back to look at her, "I won't. Never." 

"Promise me?" She sounded desperate as she gripped his biceps again. 

"I promise," He cupped her face, "I'll always be with you." 

She searched his face and leaned up to kiss him, but he pulled back, "Gabrijela, don't you think its to quick?" He asked, eyes wide. 

"It's just a kiss. Cillian, please. Distract me." She whispered. 

"Gab, we shouldn't, we really shouldn't. It's way too early, you're hurting." He frowned. 

"Fuck it Cillian. Fuck it all. I need you. I need you. You are all I think about. All I need. Logan was a mistake. That time you touched me, that was what brought me to my knees. I cannot hold back Cillian." She had tears in her eyes. 

He was shocked at her words, and yet he felt the same. The moment he touched her, kissed her, she was all in his head nonstop. "My Gabrijela. My lovely Gabrijela." He leaned in and kissed her, pouring his heart into it.  

His hands moved from her face to her hips, her arms locking around his neck. 

She was the one to deepen it, their tongues clashing and rolling over each other. A moan escaped her, and he began to walk her to the couch. 

"No," she stopped him, "The bed." She said. 

"Okay." He nodded and they headed down a flight, she held his hand as they entered the bedroom. 

She backed up to the bed as he stalked forward, a heated look made him look like a bad boy. She smirked, "Since you touched me last time, it's only fair I return that favour." 

He gripped her hips, pulling it flush against his. She moaned at the feeling, "You don't need to. My pleasure is seeing you cum by my fingers." He kissed her hard and she yanked off his shirt. 

He took off hers and lifted her up and threw her on the bed, she let out a gasp as he moved on top of her like a cat. He kissed down to her neck, sucking on a spot and leaving a mark. 

"Mmm." She shut her eyes as he moved lower, his lips wrapped around her nipple and she whined. Her nipples were always so sensitive when they were touched. 

He sucked, tugging on them gently with his teeth which caused another moan to escape her. He then moved to the other, doing it rougher and it made Gabrijela cry out in pleasure. 

"I'm going to taste you, Gab." He said roughly, his lips moving down her stomach. The feeling made a skittering feeling run through her, her core heating and throbbing. 

"Yes." She sighed, nodding as her pants were thrown aside. She had no panties on. 

Cillian came to the apex of her thighs and pulled back a little, her treasure was glistening and a pretty pink. She had waxed, leaving a tuft at the top. With a hand, he brought up he dragged a finger down from the hood to her entrance. 

"Oh... God..." She sucked in a breath, looking down at what he was doing. Her cheeks were flushed, he was just... staring at her. "Am I okay? Cillian?" 

He brought the finger up, then with his thumb, he parted her folds to reveal the petals of her core. "You are more than okay, Gabrijela. You are... serene." And he brought his mouth on her. 

She threw back her head, eyes rolling in the back of her head as he worked on her with that fantastic mouth of his. He sucked on her clit, rolling the bud between his lips and teeth. He felt her hand on the back of his head, the other gripped the sheets. 

"Oh fuck, Cillian. Fuck." She breathed fast, her toes curling as the sensations of getting head ran through her nerves. It was a wonderful feeling, the soft moist feeling of his lips peeling her apart and getting deeper. His tongue sweeping up then back down to her entrance where it prodded her. 

"Relax, lovely. Relax for me." His hand were on her abdomen, feeling the fast-rising of her stomach. She relaxed as best as she could, and tried to stay relaxed as his tongue pushed into her. 

He wiggled it around, tongue fucking her as he brought a thumb to her clit. He wanted her to feel the utmost pleasure he could give her with his mouth and hands. 

So he ate her out like his personal feast, not being kind to her either. He held her squirming hips down as he was in full control of the situation, he would make sure all she remembered was his name as she came. He would imprint himself on her body, her soul. But when he was to take her... he would make sure it was a perfect day, all dedicated to her. 

She was in utter ecstasy, all she could think of was him, of what he was doing to her. He knew where to get to, what to press as two fingers slipped into her. 

He pulled back to watch how he fingered her, to see how she took him. "Fucking hell, Gabrijela." He rasped, she was drenching his fingers, his chin was coated in her wetness. "You going to cum soon?" He could feel how her walls clenched around him. He could only imagine how amazing if he was buried in her. 

"Yes, Cillian. Oh god yes. Don't stop." She whined, her breathing ragged and deep. Moans and curses fell from her parted lips, she was close. "Harder, oh fuck!" 

Cillian obliged and began to finger her harder, pushing in a third finger. God, she was tight. But he wasn't going to stop, he curled his fingers in a come hither motion and she cried out when he found her sweet spot once more. 

"Cillian! Ah! I'm close! Fuck!" She bucked her hips, trying her best not to move too much around. 

He went as hard as he could, he would bring her to the edge before he would finish her off with his tongue. And so he would, pulling his fingers out and tongue fucked her. Her cried grew louder as she thrust her hips up and hollered in bliss as she climaxed on his tongue and lips. She thrust a few times before she eased off as her high came down. 

He lapped her up, sucking and licking her clean before he kissed up her body then to her lips. She moaned sweetly as she tasted herself on his lips. 

"Mmm Cilly," She pulled back, touching his jaw and his lips. "Lay back baby, I want to touch you now." She kissed him. 

"You don't-" He groaned when her hand gripped him. 

"I do. You are so hard." She pushed him back and he eased on to his back as she now knelt beside him. "Cillian, oh goodness." She tugged on the strings of his sweatpants and eased them off with his help. Boxers and all. 

Her eyes fell on his hard length, he was a good size and thickness. She could easily just ride him right there, lube was not needed as she was soaking. 

Slowly she looked up, meeting his eyes, "Perfect." She murmured, not taking her eyes off as she wrapped her hand around. A muscle twitched in his cheek as his jaw was clenched hard. "Mmm, you feel good." She moaned as she rubbed him, holding him in a good tight grip. 

"Ah... Ah, shit..." He whispered, holding himself up by his arms. "Gab..." 

She smiled, happy that she was making him all huffy and blushing. She rubbed him faster, he was rock hard. "I'm gonna take you in my mouth," She moved between his legs, laying down on her stomach. She leaned in and licked his balls, sucking them and he let out a strange groan that was deep then a curse followed. 

"Minx." He shook his head, watching her move up his shaft, sucking and kissing to the tip that had a little diamond drop. 

She licked it before his cock was guided into her mouth, and he watched with pure amazement as she took him right to the base. "Fuck!" He placed a hand on the back of her head, gripping her hair. 

She moaned, muffled by his cock before she began to bob her head. She took her time, savouring his velvet hardness with her tongue and lips, soft gagging sounds came from her every time he touched the back of her throat. 

She was a goddess, she worked him so well, her sucking was slow and hard, almost pulling. It felt divine. 

Gabrijela began to go faster, her hand moved to cup his balls once more and fondle them. She squeezed them and rolled them a little in her palm, he grunted, "That's it, oh fuck yeah. Gab you damn perfect woman." 

She smiled a little as she continued to do her thing, and it wasn't long when he became fidgety as his cock twitched. He was going to cum very soon. 

"Mmmm." She moaned around him, squeezing him again. 

"I'm gonna cum. Fuck, in your mouth?" She nodded, "God you fucking- Fuck! Ah! Ah!" His brows furrowed and he laid back, his hips bucked and she gagged as he shot his load into her mouth. 

She pulled back a little, he filled her mouth and he pulled her head back as the remaining went on her face and his stomach. 

She gasped for air and laughed once she swallowed his load, "Cillian! Oh!" She bit her bottom lip as she pumped him once he was finished. 

He looked at her, his release on her cheeks and lips, "Shit, sorry. He laughed as he handed her a tissue. 

"No need." She wiped his cum off with a finger and cleaned them up with a smack of her lips. "Delicious." She giggled and leaned in, claiming his lips in a deep, passionate kiss. 

He wrapped his arms around her as she laid on top of him, they kissed for a bit before she pulled back. 

"Thank you," She murmured, her smile soft. 

"What for?" He ran his fingers up her spine. 

"For sticking with me and making me happy." She traced his jaw then his cheek and lips. 

"I will do anything to make you smile again. It broke my heart to see you cry." He kissed her gently. "Don't cry ever again." 

She scoffed lightly, "Don't break my heart then." 

"I won't. Safe within my heart, tucked in warm." He kissed her nose as she laid her head down on his chest, her fingers running over the smooth skin of his biceps and shoulder. 

"Safe." She whispered, her smile never fading. 

"Safe." He repeated, his fingers gently running through her hair. 

For the rest of the day, Cillian and Gabrijela spent their time indoors. They showered and shared another passionate kiss before they went to the living room downstairs to watch some classic Christmas movies. They ordered take away via UberEats and sat before the fire as they stuffed themselves with pizza and garlic bread and ice cream he had in the fridge. 

They laughed from bad jokes and danced again, another movie before night fell. She was going to stay the night again, they got into bed and she had asked him to read her a favourite book of his to her. 

He happily obliged, and read till she fell asleep. He set the book side and his glasses, turned off the light and pulled her into his chest. She slept peacefully, their legs tangled and he wasn't ever going to let her go. 

Not this time he wasn't.

Whatever was blooming between them, it felt right. And he would work hard to keep her happy and content. He tried not to think about the whole age gap thing or that she was going to leave at the end of the month. He wouldn't.

He would cherish her, and see what the future would hold for them. 

[jmeddows2]

Purple Thunder (Roger Taylor Series) - Part 4

(present/old) Roger Taylor x  Reader

Notes: It’s been a while it’s finally here. Kind of a filler though? I’m sorry for that. I’ll try to update more frequently now :) I hope this makes up for it. Sorry for grammar/ mistakes, English is not my first language but anyways, I gave it a go. Enjoy and feel free to submit requests, feedback etc.

Warnings: cursing

Words: 2.5k+

…. when you arrived at home you found your boyfriend Josh sleeping on a chair in the entrance hall of your flat. He made sure to sit there and wait for you to get home. Josh never intended for you to leave him that night, like you did. He was too good for anyone, always searching for a conversation to talk things out, instead of throwing everything under a bus. He was always trying to find a solution, no matter how severe the situations and problems might seem. He looked so peaceful, legs sprawled out, his hands crossing over his chest as light snores escaped his mouth. His current state made you feel guilty, guilty that you spent the night away from him, while he was sitting at home, worrying about where you could have gone and what could have happened, wandering the streets of London at night all on your own. Guilty, that sudden feelings were creeping into your system, which did not mainly involve him anymore. Lost in your thoughts the door behind you made a loud sound as it shut, which you did not intend, and it made Josh shuffle. His eyes shot open once he realized that you finally arrived at home and he jumped up from the chair, basically jumping into your arms having a feeling of relief rushing through his body, seeing that you made it home safe.   -Y/N! Where have you been, babe? I’ve been worried sick! Don’t you ever leave again like that, PLEASE, I beg you! - he nuzzled his face into your neck, having his arms wrapped around you tightly.       

~a week later~

This time it wasn’t you the one to leave. It was your boyfriend, Josh. In fact, he went on tour with his band through North America, which meant approximately 3 months without him, though you were supposed to join for the last 2 weeks of their tour. Being without him for 3 months would mean loads of time for being productive, productive in a sense of recording a new album. -where in the world is it??- you mumbled as you were searching for your little notebook in which you kept all your thoughts inside, they then turned into songs. While making a mess in yet another room, searching for the little crème leather notebook you received as a birthday gift from a friend a few years ago, the memory of your first ever songwriting experience flashed before your eyes.

*it was a lazy Sunday afternoon and you were sitting behind the piano, a crumbled-up paper with a few lines scribbled on it in front of you. Those words written on the paper made you feel vulnerable, all your heart and soul expressed through words: broken love, insecurities, everything you’ve been wanting to talk about, but never actually had the courage to say out loud. Placing your fingers on the piano and hitting the first few notes was finally it, releasing everything, telling a story, processing feelings. It was like an addiction. Finally creating something, something that people might be able to relate to and making them feel understood was the goal*

Something you were glad to receive when you were younger and now you were lucky enough finally meet your heroes:  Brian, Roger… -FUCK- Roger has it. 

You left your notebook in his guest room. Oh no. Pacing around the flat and running your fingers nervously up and down your temples didn’t help the situation very much. You had to call him.

You gathered all your courage to call him, but as the phone kept ringing and ringing you felt more embarrassed by the fact that he didn’t pick up right away.

-Hi love- a hoarse voice finally spoke up. It was him. A feeling of relief rushed through your body.

-Um hi Roger, sorry to disturb you. I think I might have left m..my notebook at your place and I’d need it. We’re going to record today, and I certainly can’t do without it. -uhh yeah. I’ll look for it, text me the address and I’ll drop it off at the studio? - he asked. When in reality he didn’t have to look for it, because once he saw it sit on top of the table in the guest room, he decided to keep it secure in one of his drawers, which only he had access to.

-no need to, I’ll come pick it up myself, don’t want to cause any more trouble – you laughed nervously. - no, love, it’s no trouble at all, remember what I told you. Got to go now, see you later, text me. - with that he hung up the phone, not giving you a chance to disagree with him anymore.

After texting him, a sudden realization hit you as he currently possessed YOUR most precious belonging. You kept everything in it, EVERYTHING! Secrets and thoughts no one was ever going to hear about. You wrote about him. Never actually mentioning his name but Roger was smart, it didn’t take much to realize it was about him. You could only hope that he wasn’t as nosy, as he was caring.

Studio days were long and basically sucking the life right out of your body by the hour. First the writing, arranging everything, then recording, doing dozens of overdubs and the worst part: mixing. Due to the given circumstances you decided to wear a warm white jumper, some plaid black-white pants and a fuzzy coat. (as shown in the picture) with a little make up on. It was all about being and feeling comfortable.

Due to the absence of your notebook, you decided to record some songs written by your other band members first. It was successful until your guitarist Dan and drummer Sid (which happened to be hotheaded) decided to throw a tantrum about the pace of a song written by Dan.

As expected, Roger was right on time and watched the whole thing go down from the other side of the glass wall.

-Guys, please calm down, we can all sort it somehow- you tried to calm Sid down as he fiddled around with his drumsticks pointing at Dan, lingering around in his business. -stop fucking pointing at me with your fucking drum sticks, oh yeah forgot. that’s the only thing you’re good at!!! - Dan spat at Sid.

-you know what? Fuck you, at least I manage to do a good solo, you’re the one playing the same 4 chords in each and every song of yours! – the drummer Sid countered.

-that’s it, I’ll fucking quit. - Dan slid his guitar off his shoulder and stepped forward to talk to you. - what? Dan? - you asked him in disbelief, tears started to brim in your eyes. -I’m so sorry Y/N. I just can’t work with him anymore. - Dan pointed into Sid’s direction. -but the album is halfway finished. You can’t leave right now- you tried to keep him on board. without success. -I’m sorry, really am.- shooting a sympathetic smile and gave you one last hug before leaving the recording area. -umm, Y/N? - the producer’s voice filled the room through the speaker. -there’s someone here for you- you lifted your head up from your hands and looked through the glass. Roger was standing there with a big paper bag in his hands.

-alright, I think that’s it for today- you gave Sid, your bass player Anthony and the producer the rest of the day off, considering the fact that the band was now missing a member.

-Sorry you had to witness all that - you glanced up at Roger, wiping your wet cheeks before shooting him a sad smile. - you know, that’s nothing compared to the fights we had way back when..- Roger tried to cheer you up, setting the paper bag on the table next to the mixing board and taking his sunglasses off. -c’mere, love- Roger held his arms out for a hug, there was no better feeling than being in his arms again. It was wrong, after everything that happened the last time you had seen each other, but at the same time it almost felt like a healing process, having his arms wrapped around your waist. The warmth and kindness, love. He looked so good in his blue jumper, his hair was slightly brushed back.

-I brought you something- Roger broke the hug, as his blue eyes shone of excitement – I know how these studio days can get- he grabbed the paper big paper bag and pulled out a burger and fries. – thought you might be hungry- he smiled and placed it in front of you. - oh god, Rog, that’s really what I need right now, but you didn’t have to. Thank you so much- you grabbed the food and let yourself fall back on one of the leather couches. He pulled yet another surprise out of the paper bag: Curly Wurly chocolate bars.

-Y’know Rufus told me you like these- he placed the bars on the table.

-oh, did he? - you asked and he nodded. -did he also tell you that we basically lived off these when we were on tour? - you laughed as you took another bite of your hamburger, Roger joined you on the leather couch with your notebook in his hands. - you and Rufus really get along, huh? - he smiled at you to which you nodded. -here you go, love- he handed the little book to you -kept it safe, suppose your songs are in there. Don’t worry, I didn’t read anything. I know just how important each song can be, you treat them like they are your kids, you’re proud of them, no matter what other people might think. Look, the situation might not look too rosy right now about your whole band situation- he placed his hand on your shoulder- you must understand him, he’ll come around. Dan was it, the guitarist, right? - you nodded, and he continued- Dan will come around, he cares a lot about his own song, especially when someone interrupts and tries to change every single bit. Hell, I’m not proud of it but to be honest, I once locked myself into a cupboard to convince the others to release my song- Roger laughed and put his arm around you to pull you closer into his shoulder, while gently rubbing your arm. Despite the heaviness in your stomach, it fluttered at the feeling of your body pressed against his, it felt comfortable and you sunk into the warmth of his side. It was an appreciative, simple gesture, but his touch made the room slightly warmer somehow. -I’m in love with my car? I’m glad you did it though, it’s a really good song- you laughed into his shoulder like it was the most natural thing.

-You know about that? - he blushed. -But see?  That’s why I did it- he gave your hair a few strokes to calm you down a bit, which helped a lot. You devoured the rest of the burger, fries and ‘curly wurly’ bars with Roger when the look on his face suddenly became more serious. -Was she very mad at you? Your wife? - you asked, expecting to hear the worst. Expecting that he’ll never want to see you again or hang out with you again. -not so bad, don’t really want to talk about her though. There’s nothing to worry about – he assured you and tried to avoid the topic furthermore. -well, gotta get back to business again- you lifted your head off his shoulder and got up

– got to go and try mix a few songs now that I’ve sent the producer home, gosh I hate mixing songs. But thank you again for bringing me the food and my precious little thing right here- you pointed at your own personal lyric collection

-I couldn’t live withou- -Do you want me to help you?- Roger blurted out, interrupting your sentence. -mixing the songs?-

-I couldn’t ask you to do that, you’ve helped enough, but thanks- you tried to assure him that you’d be ok. - I’ve been struggling myself at first, in fact I hated mixing all the songs, but I swear it gets better. - he plopped himself down on one of the chairs behind the mixing board and you joined him. -ok I’d love your help then, if it’s no trouble-

-Ok look, you need to keep the elements in the mix at a steady and balanced level, without abnormal level changes popping out all over the place. – he fiddled around the faders on the boards, quickly glancing at you as you watched carefully - moving the faders around should get you very close to a rough mix.- he continued - try to find a good equilibrium and balance between the left and right speaker, you don’t want your track all over the place either – you nodded as he kept on giving you more useful tips about how each instrumental part must be handled differently without  resulting in a clattering or having an instrument drown into the back.

Roger being Roger sometimes managed to fool around a bit on the faders to create interesting sounds, that made you laugh and escape the seriousness.

It was 1 am when the last track from half of the album was finally finished. -about the Dan situation- Roger spoke up – don’t let it get to your head that much, love. Give him some time, we could help you out in the meantime. When we first went on tour to support another group, Brian fell awfully sick and we also started to record without him at first. I know exactly how you’re feeling right now. We were scared to death about how we were going to continue without him for quite some time. - He hugged you again, and  it felt like nothing else mattered in this moment. Not the band, nor the unfinished album, not a single thing, only being with him, having his strong arms around your waist, telling you everything was going to be alright.

You broke the hug after you found it to be too long, as you didn’t want things to be awkward, when he was being the sweetest guy. - you’re so strong, dealing with everything, overcoming so much- Roger still held you close, brushing some of your hair out of your face to get a better look at you. - I wish we could have met in other circumstances and I- the moment was interrupted by his ringing phone and he went to get it.

-sorry that was Sarina, she’s in America right now filming a movie, whatever. – he shrugged, knowing that this moment could not be saved anymore.

He noticed a hint of sadness on your face and it made his heart ache, he shouldn’t have said that, but it was his reality, his reality that he was not sure of still being destined to be in. The more time he spent with you, the more wrong it felt  to keep spending time with his wife, when it was supposed to be the other way around. His feelings told him otherwise -Are you going to be here tomorrow? - Roger asked you with a feeling of hope in his chest.

-Well, yeah, we got the studio for the next month, I’m going to be here every day- you answered as he helped you get into your coat.

-perfect- Roger smiled. -how about Chinese takeout tomorrow then? – taglist: @bellamy1998 @oldfashionedlovergirlsblog