#anyway theres pride coming soon so i at least have that to look for in the near future

[nie7027]

Depression... is setting in.... ughhhhhh

Maybe Its that I don't have anything I'm supposed to do anymore...(but I do... I should be working on the paper)

Or maybe it's just the weight of all the past weeks crashing down... maybe I just need to rest/survive another week....

Ughhhh

[sailorhyunjinz]

SAW THAT DRUNK FLUFFY HEADCANNON. NOW DO A ANGST SMUT VERSION OF IT OR WHATEVER SIS. LEZ GET ETTTT SKRRTSKRTTTTT

Please. 🥺

LEZ GET IIIIIIIIIIT SKRTSKRT (I CANT)

some of these are both smut/angst and others only smut or only angst OK? ok

SMUT AND ANGST VERSION WOOP now we’re talking bby

warning; SMUT/ANGST. gn!reader x skz. subxdom, use of alcohol, sex under influence, minor injuries, penetrative sex, degradation, punishment, nicknames, choking, mentions of blood, slight dacryphilia, mentions of tobacco

Bangchan

he’s more pouty but seeing you with scraped knees makes him mad

mad because he cares so much about you 

“y/n you’re being stupid”

you fall into his arms, just as mad back at it

“if im so stupid then leave” 

he looks at you, dumbfounded but then mad

“fine, then i’ll leave” he says, clearly hurt by your words but holding tightly to his pride, storming off.

as the door closes you panic, feeling lonely and paranoid at the same time

you never really being good with alcohol anyways

so him leaving you in this vulnerable state made you feel,,, bad :((

you run after him and eventually catch up 

right as you get to him you stumble, scraping your knee and your hand

he turned around quickly, filled with worry but also pure rage

“you’re so stupid y/n” he says leaning down and looking you into your glossy eyes

“h-help me channie” you say, your voice frail

he sighes, picking you up and the two of you going back home

Minho

be scared be real fucking scared

you aint walking for a week nuh uh

fucks you DEEP 

deeper than ever

boy is mad as fuck, he just lashes out on you for being so stupid as to walk home alone in the middle of the night. 

he complains and scolds you whilst he’s railing you oop

“fucking stupid, walking like that all alone”

you are practically crying underneath him, not sure if it’s from him scolding you or from how DEEP this man goes 

pounding some sense into you LMAO

lots of choking OOF

denying your orgasm until you’re crying

“yeah thats right, cry for me” (lmao cue twice)

NAH BUT A SWEETHEART AFTERWARDS I PROMISE 

Changbin

“what if you get injured y/n?” he says, holding your hand on your way home

“i didn’t!” you say confidently 

“then whats that?” he says, pointing at your bleeding knees

“n-nothing” you say, limping forward

“should listen to me more” he says quickly, puffing his cheeks in frustration

“i do listen, just,,, just let me have f-fun!” your head spinning. 

“but thats not having fun y/n, thats called being stupid and destroying your health” he spits on the ground

“alright then let me, not like it’s affecting you in any way” you slur out, changbin looking at you through hooded eyes as he exhales loudly

“maybe if you’d stop being drunk all the time you’d actually see how it is effecting me” he says, letting go of your hand causing you to stumble over your own legs

you hit the cold concrete in the dark as he walks home

“come back when you’ve thought about your actions”

Hyunjin

he paces back and forward in the hallway, waiting for you

the door creaks open and you, looking like a mess, appear infront of him

“where were you? i was worried sick y/n! you cant just do-”

“shush,,, i want a,, a hug” you stammer out, getting closer to him and smelling of cigarettes and alcohol

he pushes you away, glaring at you through dark eyes

“do you even care about me?” 

you tilt your head, feeling more unstable for every second that goes by. 

“of course hyunnie!” you smile lazily at him 

but he’s not buying any of it

i feel like he holds grudges for a long time??? idk just me??

“i’ll sleep on the couch, dont come close to me”

bruh his voice and tone is so cold, it send shivers down your spine

you nod, tears bubbling up in the corners of your eyes. 

Jisung

“im not helping you!” jisung says, you rubbing your thighs together, always feeling needy when drunk

“pl-please sungie, i-i wont drink ever again i-if you help,,, me”

he cocks his eyebrow at you, licking the inside of his cheek

“mhm.. you think im stupid enough to fall for that? what do you really think of me babygirl/babyboy”

you scratch the back of your head, not knowing what to answer

“y-you fell for it last time~”

he scoffs, pissed at the fact that you came stumbling through the door in the middle of the night

him waiting for you and being filled sick with worry

he leans closer to your ear, feeling the smell of liquor 

“why should i help you? sluts like you dont deserve me”

you whine at his words, not helping with your neediness

“please,, jisung i,, just help me!” you were started to get pouty to which he chuckles

“beg nicely”

Felix

“where were you”

his voice is like LOW low

he sits with his legs spread apart

bruh his gaze?!??”! its like black, just blank

you try to ignore him, shuffling around awkwardly but only stumbling from being drunk

“sit” he pats his lap you gulp, having no other choice but to listen

you sit down on his lap

your eyes are running all over the room, looking everywhere but at felix

“was my slut out drinking?” 

BRUH YOU JUST STARE AT HIM

he only says that when he’s mad, ONLY

so now you’re scared but you nod, barely having your eyes open

he hums, his voice vibrating through your ears

“you agree, you’re a slut?”

you nod again and before you know it theres a hand wrapped around your throat, pushing on the sides and making you feel even more lightheaded. 

his mouth gets close to your ear

his warm breath desending down your cheek

“dont make me do this kitten”

Seungmin

frustrated 

he gets a call from one of your friends that tell you that you’re passed out on the street

he picks you up, you barely standing on your own two legs and the entire way home he didnt say a word

as soon as the door to your home closes he starts yelling at you

“dont you have any thoughts in that dumb head of yours?”

you start tearing up from his loud and stern voice, leaning against a wall. 

“i-im sorry minnie” 

that being the only sentence he understood, the rest sounding more like blabbering

“are you really sorry y/n, are you??!”

“y-yes,,, just tired~”

without saying anything more he grabs his jacket and leaves

slamming the door behind him

at first you dont understand but then the silence takes over, leaving you wrapped with a lonely blanket as tranquility

“m-minnie?” you call out as if he was still there but being met by nothing but pure silence

you slide down against the wall, crying as seungmin peeks through the door, feeling bad for making you cry 

Jeongin

“enough”

he grabs the bottle from your hand, placing it beside him as the two of you were drinking at home. 

“but whyyy?~ we were just getting started innie~”

he looks at you with a puzzled expression

your cheeks flaming hot and your eyes drooping down

“cant you just stop y/n?”

you meet his brown eyes, not understanding what he meant

“hm? whatchu mean~?

he sighs loudly, seeing you roll around on the floor

“why can’t you just control yourself? why do i always have to take care of you?”

you laugh, your thoughts gone with the wind

“thats funny innie!”

poor boy gets frustrated and lays down, hovering above you

“is it funny if i do this?”

he kisses you, slowly trailing his fingertips downwards

OK I HAVE ONE REQUEST LEFT IN MY INBOX SO GOTTA DO THAT!! and after that im gonna start posting/working more on fics even though... i feel shit about writing fics because they never turn out that good huh.... AH WELL at least im trying T-T 

hard/soft thoughts are always welcome ><

[milkacchan]

Yall wanted the kiribaku angst

I basically wrote this bc i was in a bad mood

But I hc bakugou being an amazing dad and not letting his career get in the way of it

And I'll stand by that as my offical hc

• When you were 'acquired' Bakugou got a job offer- one over seas that would extend his career

• He brought it to Kirishima immediately- who was skeptical in all honesty. They had a child now, why would he want to go?

• But Bakugou was just so excited about it- kirishima could put his career in partial hold to watch after you. He had friends helping too

• And he'd be back soon anyway, so it would be fine right?

• Right?

• That was the plan- though things don't ever go according to plan, do they.

• Katsukis out of country internship was extended two months before he was supposed to come home.

• Katsuki apolgoized and promised he'd visit and Eiji reassured him it was fine

• He'd already missed your first birthday, not that you knew, but Eiji celebrated it alone.

• His friends helped him out a lot, Kaminari and Sero became frequents in the house, often babysitting you or putting you to bed

• sometimes kiri was just too tired to take care of you on his own, in which case some member would come over and help him out. Usually making dinner or helping straighten up around the house

• he wasn't a single father but it sure felt like it

• Years passed and many of Katsukis promises were left empty

• You'd heard his voice over the phone more times than you'd actually met him

• You were 4 the first time he came home.

• it broke Eijirous heart to say this was the first time you'd actually meet him

• Deku had asked if you were excited to meet him

• It had sunk in then that you really didn't have much of a relationship with Katsuki

• There are times when Katsuki is home for a few months

• or for a year

• but then he always leaves again, for some new job

• It hurts Kiri but he's in love, he wants to be supportive so he is.

• He missed the manifestation of your quirk.

• you weren't pleased with that

• you screamed and cried and pleaded

• you got his temper, he cringed to himself.

• and kiri could do nothing but hold you.

• he wasn't very happy either.

• He'd missed at least half of your birthdays

• but he still held onto hope

• Bakugou would stay eventually, right?

• He isn't sure when it happened, but you stopped holding onto hope that he'd be back

• slowly you stopped talking to him during phone calls and when you did the answers were short and to the point before the phone was handed back to kiri

• He wasn't sure when but you looked up to Denki and Sero as father figures

• he wasn't sure when but you stopped caring

• there was malice and anger

• that you didn't always express but he knew it was there.

• but sometimes, sometimes you'd snap.

• there was one particularly stressful occasion, one really shitty day, where it all just spilled out.

• it was after a loss at the sports festival.

• it was your own fault of course, but it would've been nice to have a full house of support.

• "I just don't understand why he can't work here. He can make money here. He can be with his funding family. But instead he's off galavanting over there." You growled, "fuck him."

"Stop." Kiri spoke sternly. "Don't say that. He's your father. He's-"

"He doesn't love us, Dad. If he did he'd fucking be here."

• he didn't know what to do after that.

• after that you stopped calling for good.

• you didn't answer your phone for him, you didn't answer texts- you walked by kiri without a glance when he was talking with Katsuki.

• he felt like he was falling apart.

• his daughter, the light of his life, had practically no relationship with his other half.

• it was hard.

• months after, Katsuki moved back home. And he stayed

• When bakugou arrived home, he stood on the front porch and knocked on the door

• you peaked outside before going to get kiri

"Theres someone at the door."

"Who is it?"

"I don't know," you shrug and you didn't

• you hadn't processed it was you other dad

• You'd avoided looking at pictures for so long

• and he'd changed so much

• you didnt recognize him

• kiri about has a panic attack when he answers the door

• the relationship was strained. Really strained.

• "So are you happy your dad is back?" Kiri smiled, sitting at the table

"Who said I wanted him to come back?"

Katsuki sighs. "Can you just-"

"No, I can't." You huff, picking up your school bag and heading out the door.

• he doesn't know what to do

• because it seems you genuinely have no interest in being around him

• getting to know him

• You call him Bakugou.

• you don't call him dad

• you don't talk to him. Or text him.

• Youre upset hut you're stuck pretending that you didnt care he was never around.

• he was your first heartbreak.

• And kiri- well Kiri is stressing out. You look miserable. Your temper was shorter.

• he'd watched you snap multiple times

"Well Dad waited her for/years/ while you fucked around for years. Don't you dare question his loyalty "

"He's bent over backwards to make you happy. Yell at him again. I dare you."

"You shouldn't even fucking be here. I'm sure your friends in bumfuck would love to have you though."

• Bakugou was lost, that much Kiri could tell.

• And kiri felt like everything was falling all over again.

• Nothing changed after Bakugou came home. He should've known that.

• its not until you see Kirishima crying one night, that you decide maybe you should try to tolerate him

• your chest clenches and you feel guilty

• so the next morning when Bakugiu asks how you slept, you shrug and tell him it was fine

• and you swallow your ego and pride to say goodbye to /both/ of them instead of just kiri

• and you accepted dinner instead of making yourself something

• you bit your tongue when you wanted to curse at him

• or when you wanted to yell

• You were civil

• you didn't go out of your way to be nice or anything- but you'd be civil for kiri.

• after all he sacrificed a lot for you.

• he was your dad, you'd do anything for him.

• a week after that, bakugiu sits across from you at the table

• he watches you tense up, keeping your eyes on the cereal in front if you

• "Can we talk?"

"Don't have much of a choice do I?" You mumble but nod.

"I'm sorry." He breathes. "I'm so fucking sorry."

"Its whatever-"

"No, its not. I made a mistake. A really big mistake and I thought that coming home every once in awhile would be fine. I thought that calling every night would make it okay, but I was too wrapped up in my career to see that the two loves of my life were struggling. And you had to deal with it practically alone. And I don't blame you for hating me. I don't. Just try to let me make it up to you."

You were quiet for a few moments, letting the words sink in. Your eyes stayes glued to the bowl. "It hurt." You mumble finally. "I needed you around and you weren't there. You're my father for fucks sake- there-" you sighed, leaning back in your chair. "It hurt dad more. Did you apologize to him already?"

"Yes, but we're not talking about him. This is about you "

You were quiet again. "I didn't know what to do. Its like we weren't important enough for you."

• in the end you agree to let him attempt to make it up to you

• after embarrassingly crying into his chest

• but it takes a lot of work

[20rubixcubes]

enhypen as baristas

maknae line x gn!reader (comedy, fluff, mild angst)

~1.2k words ea (headcanons)

warnings: cursing

a/n: i just wrote this for funsies, please be mindful that there is heavy swearing in these headcanons (particularly in ni-ki’s part), so if that isn’t your taste, perhaps skip this one! other than that, the rest of this is pretty chill, so i hope you enjoy my shitposting. oh, and lmk if you like this enough to want part two with the hyung line 👀 just maybe i’ll do it

sunoo

was only recently employed as an afternoon shift employee and was both shocked and distressed after discovering the cafe didnt have an instagram

“what do you MEAN you dont have instagram??? how do we post selfies???” “sunoo we sell coffee” “NO ONE WANTS COFFEE JUNGWON THEY WANT CUTE BARISTAS”

starts an instagram for the cafe and takes aesthetic pictures of his latte art

his selfies get way more likes though

speaking of his latte art, he masters the skill like a week in and everyone else is incredibly jealous

their jealousy wears off when jungwon tells him that he has to start training the new apprentices

pretends he forgot how to do it for like a week but it hurts his pride so he begrudgingly agrees to train the apprentices instead

in his free time he can be found snapping pictures around the shop, eventually expanding to taking pictures of the others too

“sunghoon stop moving you look cute and i need to take a photo” “sunoo im holding hot milk” “does it look like i care beauty is pain sweetie”

other than that, he sometimes sits in the booths to snack on muffins and do his homework since he only comes in to the shop for about an hour during his school lunch break and on the weekends

you meet sunoo after applying for an apprenticeship, wanting to get a job before you finish high school and start college

seen as though jungwon looks like the boss, you approach him, nervous for your first shift

“i’m here for the apprenticeship program?” “oh yeah! one second!”

he trots off to the back room, leaving you standing awkwardly in the middle of the cafe

“SUNOO GET OFF JAY YOU HAVE AN APPRENTICE TO TRAIN” “*gasp* YOU MADE ME SMUDGE HIS LIPSTICK I'M QUITTING” “NO YOURE NOT GET OUT THERE RIGHT NOW”

the yelling pauses before who you presume is sunoo stomps through the back room door, a scowl on his face

he spots you, groaning loudly “are you the apprentice?”

“yes” you say meekly, guilty for seeming to ruin his shift

he gestures you to follow him behind the counter, pulling an apron out from under the sink and shoving it to your chest

its clear that hes pissed, yanking his tools out from the cupboards as you tie your apron behind your back quietly

“have you made coffee before?” “only instant coffee” “oh fantastic”

he seems to be getting more irritated by the minute before he takes a deep breath and starts directing you around the machines

“to do the art, you angle the mug like this and draw with the milk, but it wont show until it reaches the top so dont go crazy”

as if its nothing, he demonstrates by drawing a perfect swan in the milk, setting the latte down and dusting his hands off

“wow… thats amazing” “i know right? no one here appreciates me enough” “they should! this is the best i’ve ever seen”

he grins at your compliment, nodding with satisfaction and sending a wave of relief over you as you notice he looks less angry with you now

“um… im sorry if i interrupted whatever you were doing before” “oh, that? i was just doing jay’s makeup” “you like makeup? me too! i’ve never seen a boy interested in it though, thats really cool” you smile genuinely at him as he blinks in surprise

“really? you think its cool?” “definitely!”

you watch the gears turn in his head before he smiles widely, seeming to have come to some kind of revelation as he nods

“i like you.”

your cheeks heat up immediately, but before you can say anything in return, he starts calling out for jungwon, leaning over the counter

“JUNGWOOON, CAN WE HAVE THIS ONE?”

“well thats up to them” he looks up from the table hes wiping down, adjusting his apron as he walks over to the counter

“so youre all finished with the course? i hope sunoo wasnt too much for you”

“i wasnt! anyways, youre employed, okay?” “sunoo stop theyre just an apprentice”

he groans loudly, irritated once more as he whips his head to you

“you have to work here, ok? i said so, so come back and apply or i’ll be mad!”

you laugh at his antics and smile “i’ll see what i can do”

after jungwon pries sunoo off of your arm, you return your apron and leave the shop with a wave

“YOU BETTER COME BACK!” is the last thing you hear as you step out onto the street, the bell ringing to signal your exit

a week later, you return to the shop, slightly anxious that your new friend(?) might have forgotten about you

but this is quickly washed away when you hear a high pitched squeal from the counter

“JUNGWON! HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FORMS THEYRE HERE”

you laugh as you approach the counter, a teasing tone on your voice

“are you supposed to be talking to your boss like that?” “whats he gonna do? fire me? im the only one who can make coffee in this place” “true”

soon enough, jungwon comes out of his hiding place, his hands clasped together

“im really sorry to ask this but please, you have to work here, sunoo hasnt shut up about you all week and i dont know if i can stand him anymore, i’ll even pay you extra please dear god”

you give sunoo a look, only receiving an innocent smile and puppy eyes back

“sure, i’ll take the job!”

jungwon sighs in relief as sunoo begins jumping up and down, yelling something about having his own little baby to take care around the shop as you groan, covering your blushing face

once you have your hours established (sunoo made you take the same as all of his, but you did the nights instead of the afternoons on the weekends, to his displeasure), you get straight to working

… well, sort of

it was hard to get work done with sunoo pestering you around the clock

“you think im cute right?” “yes sunoo” “even though i have bags under my eyes? “yes sunoo” “you promise?” “yes sunoo” “good”

admittedly he is slightly of help when it comes to the more fiddly parts of making coffee, but every other second of the day he seems to be flirting nonstop

“can i kiss you?” “no” “why not” “sunoo we’ve been over this” “BEING AT WORK ISNT A VALID EXCUSE”

worn down after his incessant yelling all day, you find yourself snapping faster than usual

“we’re not even dating, sunoo! why would i kiss you!? just stop playing with my feelings already!”

for the first time since you’ve known him, sunoo goes quiet

“why not?”

“what are you talking about now sunoo?” “why arent we dating”

now its your turn to go quiet

“do you not like me?” “what? no, sunoo-” before you can reason with him, you watch him quickly rush away from you around the counter, slamming the break room door behind him with tears in his eyes

cursing to yourself, you ensure there are no customers to serve before quickly darting after him

after looking around a bit, you hear sniffling from the supply closet and knock on the door quietly

“sunoo?” “leave me alone!”

you sigh, taking a step back and turning on your heel to face the opposite direction, running a hand through your hair as you think

you spot a dog bed at your feet, suddenly remembering that jake usually keeps his dog supplies covered in dog hair in the closet

“sunoo arent you allergic to dogs?”

“... *sniffle* y-yeah”

after you persuade him to come out by mentioning that his face is going to get all puffy, he steps out, eyes glued to the floor as he looks away from you in shame

placing a hand on his shoulder, you speak to him softly

“sunoo, look at me”

he does, hesitantly, his eyes red and watery and, as you said, puffy and inflamed

despite this, you smile

“i do like you back”

his eyes start watering again, your heart skipping a beat in fear that you had said something wrong

“e-even if my face is all puffy and gross?” his voice wobbles, the tears filling his eyes giving him a sense of vulnerability as you sigh

“yes, even if your face is all puffy and gross”

he smiles at that, shutting his eyes cutely as you press a kiss to his cheek

“and theres your kiss”

he whines “i was supposed to do that!”

“you can do it after we finish work, okay?” “WORK STILL ISNT A VALID EXCUSE…. but maybe today just because i need to ice my face” “yeah you really should, can you even see?” “no not at all” “great”

jungwon

the previous manager left suddenly and jungwon was given a semi-forced promotion as he was the only employee with at least half of a brain cell

poor boy is stressed 24/7

doesnt get paid enough for this

“hey jungwon we ran out out of coffee bea-” “I ORDERED NEW ONES FOUR HOURS AGO NOW SHUT UP IM TRYING TO MAKE SURE THE BOSS DOESNT FIND JAKE’S DOG SHELTER IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET”

goes through hell every day just to make sure the others dont burn the cafe down

is supposed to be on the morning shift but he stays until the afternoon

in his rare moments of downtime, he likes to go around and water the hanging plants around the shop

is that one vine where the mom listens to nicki minaj for the first time and screams “no” over and over whenever ni-ki gets control of the cafe music

“RIKI NISHIMURA WHAT IS THAT ON THE SPEAKERS” “ITS OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ARIANA GRANDE” “TURN IT OFF THIS IS NOT PG13” “SHUT THE FUCK UP GRANDPA”

is only 16 but acts like a 32-year-old father going through a midlife crisis

lifts boxes of supplies all day yet his joints are famously brittle

“hey jungwon did you hear glass shattering too?” “sorry jay that was my back” “you need to invest in physical therapy” “maybe if i wasnt paying for property damage every other week 😊”

you meet jungwon when you drop into the cafe for a croissant and a coffee before your class starts

usually you come at night maybe an hour before closing so you had never seen him before, but here you were watching this cute but clearly stressed boy scramble around the shop carrying boxes of supplies to the back

trying not to be creepy, you sigh, turning back to your phone after watching him for a solid five minutes straight

as you do, you hear a crash coming from what you assume is the supply closet followed by a disgruntled groan

pausing, looking around at the other customers typing away at their laptops and waiting for another staff member to go check on the boy, you stand up as you discern that he must be the only one working and hesitantly go to see if he’s okay

“hello? are you okay?” you peer through the door, your eyes widening at the sight of him rubbing his head with a wince on his features, supplies strewn around him at his feet and a box knocked over beside him

“ah… um, yes, i’m okay, sorry if i disturbed you with that noise…” he smiles bashfully, pulling himself back onto his feet

“do you need help with all of that stuff?”

he opens his mouth to protest, not wanting to have to ask for help from a customer, but after seeing the amount of crap off of the shelves, he realises that there is no way in hell he’s going to be able to clean all of it up alone before his shift ends

“um… is that okay?” his cheeks flush with embarrassment as you smile

“sure!”

over the next couple of hours you two establish a little system of bagging the spilt supplies and passes them to eachother to put in boxes, chatting never ceasing as you discover that you actually have a lot of things in common

“since you work here, what’s your favourite kind of coffee?” “i like lattes… i cant stand bitter things” “me too! my friend drinks espressos though” “ditch them”

you also find out that he started being homeschooled after becoming the manager as he doesnt have time to attend normal school

the both of you find yourselves laughing nonstop, having fun in eachother’s company

so much so that you end up late for school

“oh shit! i completely missed my first class”

guilty for making you late, he offers to take you

“i can take you?” “you drive?” “well….. not exactly”

once sunoo and ni-ki arrive to care for the shop, he takes you out to the car park, pulling a spare helmet out of his backpack and securing it on your head before giving your head a pat as he gets onto his scooter

“you look cute” “i look like a bug” “a cute bug”

once you get to school, face red after having to hold onto him the entire time, you hop off and pass him the helmet with a shy smile

“thanks for driving me” you mutter, brushing off imaginary dirt from your shirt as you do your best to avoid eye contact, your face still flushed and heart racing

is it possible to develop a crush on someone this quickly???

jungwon is so cute that he makes it possible, you surmise

“of course” he mirrors your nervous smile, a blush finding its way to his own cheeks

as you bow and spin on your heel to start walking inside, he stops you

“wait!”

“what is it?” you turn to him, your heart still thundering against your ribcage at the fond expression he has plastered on his features

“actually… can i pick you up? after school?”

when you pause, your face growing hotter and hotter, he begins to sputter

“i-i’m really sorry, its fine if not! that was way too forward, i just really like you and- oh god that was even more forward- um-” “okay” “yeah i’m sorry that was a stupid questio- wait, what?”

before he can say anything else, your smile widens

“i’ll see you later, okay? don’t be late!” you wave, skipping into the building with a fluffy feeling in your chest

with an awkward wave, jungwon watches you leave, his mouth wide open in shock before a grin replaces his expression

getting back into his seat, the lovestruck smile never leaving his face as he drives off, he begins to count down the minutes until he gets to see you again

ni-ki

works the afternoon shift

technically an apprentice but he gets paid and has been there forever so basically an employee at this point

or he would be if he ever actually made coffee

he sits with the work phone all morning and chooses the music

perpetually dancing to 7 rings by ariana grande (look up his cover. youre welcome in advance)

jungwon and jay scream at him to at least do the mopping to which he complies, but not without performing a whole ass concert with it

once they saw him twirl and dip the mop

eventually they just told him to go back to curating the music because he was scaring customers away and they were losing business

he was horrible at cleaning anyway

“hey jungwon i think i got window cleaner in your plant” “im firing you” “i dont even go here” “STOP QUOTING MEAN GIRLS AND FIX THE DAMAGE YOUVE CAUSED”

you meet ni-ki while youre drinking your coffee at a booth and he plays your favourite obscure indie song so you have to compliment his taste and get to talking

he plays your favourite songs whenever youre in the shop and audibly hisses at anyone who tries to change it

makes choreography to said songs at home and tries to impress you by casually belting it out by your booth

when you compliment his dancing and ask how long hes been practicing that choreography hes all like “oh hahaha it was just casual freestyle super easy peasy”

(hes been practicing for two weeks)

thought he was being super obvious by doing these things but apparently nOT because you have not caught the hint at all and hes getting impatient

asks for advice from the others begrudgingly

“give them flowers” “jay thats so boring” “do you want to use one of my dogs? everyone loves dogs” “wtf jake since when have you had more than one dog” “make them latte art with a heart on it” “sunoo ive literally never made a coffee in my life” “why dont you just ask them out like a normal perso-” “shut the fuck up grandpa thats so weird no one does that”

eventually he settles on sunoo’s idea of making you latte art and he embarks on his journey to make his first coffee

rather than focusing on the actual taste, sunoo tells him to just do whatever so that he can show him how to do the art

“why is it green ni-ki” “you said to do whatever” “and your first idea was to make poison? idk if this is the best idea if youre trying to ask this person out” “shut up and pass me the milk”

burns his hands on the steaming milk jug at least fifteen times and ends up with so many bandaids on his fingers

despite how stiff the bandages are on his hands, he eventually manages to make a sort-of legible heart

“it looks like africa” “have you ever had steamed milk poured on your eyes sunoo?”

poor ni-ki waits for you all day, his heart leaping every time the bell on the door rings only to roll his eyes when it isnt you

he even stays past his shift so youd better let him take you on a date or hes quitting

when you finally arrive he trips over the bucket at his feet he was using to clean and spills dirty water all over his pants

“omg ni-ki are you okay what happened” *five octaves higher* “NOTHING I'M COMPLETELY FINE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”

by the time he’s finished cleaning himself up (and by that i mean fixing his hair in the mirror for twenty minutes) he takes a deep breath and walks over to you, somewhat cold latte in hand

“um,” he clears his throat, his face growing red as he slides the mug towards you “i made this for you”

“aw thanks ni-ki! why is it green” “........its matcha?”

youre slightly suspicious but you look back to the mug and slowly realise that the “drawing” slightly resembles a heart, smiling a little bit to yourself

when you look back to him, youre a little confused as to why hes just standing there

“is something wrong?” you press the mug to your lips, taking a sip

“o-uh uh actually, i wanted to ask if… if you would uh maybe sort of go on a date with me”

you can only smile

“yes, but…”

his heart starts beating faster, watching you anxiously

you stand up, taking the notepad and pen from his apron pocket and scribbling your phone number

“only if you promise to learn how to make actual coffee” you wink, handing him the notepad and sauntering out of the shop

hes stood there dumbstruck, stars in his eyes at the slip of paper in his hand

but then he realises: he has a new mission

rushing to the back room, he slams the door open

“grandpa, i need you to teach me how to make coffee right now” “literally why do i pay you”

with your promise in mind, the others see him work more diligently at the counter than they ever have before

“wow youre actually working today?” “shut up i need to figure out how to do this butterfly before i pry my eyes out with a fork” “haha funny joke ni-” “did i stutter”

at the end of the week, he forces heeseung (the cafe’s best coffee maker) and sunoo (the cafe’s best latte artist) to judge his latte

“this is… surprisingly good” heeseung peers into the mug, smiling at the swan ni-ki created with the latte foam as sunoo grumbles “dont tell me im gonna have to start competing with this kid, it probably tastes gross” “it tastes amazing too” “im quitting”

with his coworkers’ notes in mind, he finally works up the nerve to send you a quick message telling you to come into the shop

when you arrive the next day, ni-ki greets you and immediately gets to work, making sure to stand as close as humanly possible to your booth so he can show off his newly acquired coffee making skills

with you only inches away, he does make a mistake and spill milk on his shirt after looking at you and not his hands for a second too long, but you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt when he sets the mug in front of you

“wow! this heart is perfect!”

you smile, looking up to him “did you seriously learn how to do latte art just so you could take me on a date?” “… y-yeah, and?”

you can only chuckle as you press the mug to your lips, readying yourself to drink liquid dirt…

“this is… really good!” you grin, taking another sip and putting the mug down on its saucer

“i think you’ve definitely earned yourself a date… or two”

at this news, ni-ki’s face lights up, shoving the urge to scream down his throat before nodding stiffly to try and contain his excitement with a strained “cool” escaping his lips

“are you okay ni-ki?” “yes just give me one second”

he quickly scrambles to the break room, a moment of silence wafting through the store before a shrill scream fills the air

eyes wide, you turn to jay, who had been manning the till, after hearing him burst into laughter

“what is he doing?”

“we told him the freezer was sound proof”

[ofcowardiceandkings]

UH WHOA not only am i posting art but theres so much of it lmfao

ive been meaning to do this for mmmm a long time, and i decided to get it cleaned up so i can present folks with my homebrew/headcanon/thingy for the d&d playable races !! i know ive missed a few off but these are ones ive seen more of over all in my own travels in Nerd Game lol

ive only DMed one thing so far (our lost mines of phandelver adventure was a total blast but oh boy the shenanigans) but im like ... drowning in it all, have been for a loooonng time since i first played Neverwinter Nights when i was like 11, i just didnt have a party to mess with yet lmao (fingers crossed our schedules get sorted so the campaign goes ahead soooooonnn).. so ive been developing some of these various homebrewy headcanons for uh over half my life

getting them all together in one place like this was unbelievably fun !!

gonna yell under the cut for a bit about it more but very shortly i’ll be opening for d&d character / item / creature commissions so watch this space or pop me a message to get in a queue <3

these headcanon things are half based on “that looks cool” and Sciencing. a lot of the more humanoid in some way races ive really pulled on human ancestors a lot, as well as muscle development in different sports. And Animals, because ye

i haven’t included humans in this mammoth endeavour because we should all know what a Human People looks like, and their proportions aren’t any different in the world of D&D i run at least lol similarly, because they’re an exact intersection between humans & either elves or orcs, the half-species arent included on here either [shrugs] i WILL talk about them some here though !!

i might eventually update this with some npc generators ive made using my own descriptors and headcanons >.>

ELVES av height; 5′6 | heads-high; 8.5 generally long limbed, with fine wispy hair, elves senses are very heightened. helping in this, their eyes are almond-shaped with slightly narrow pupils, their large radar-like ears are very mobile, and the underside of their noses are covered in a lightly damp pitted leather. part of their ability to maintain grace with an elongated frame, aside from longer springy feet, is aided by a tail built somewhat like a horse, with a skirt of hair down its length, only with a slightly longer bone to it than would be seen in the typical pony. excepting a very light dusting on their lower limbs, they typically have very little body hair. sometimes their skin shimmers, or freckles sparkle.

GNOME av height; 3′6 | heads-high; 6.5  gnomes are almost like diminutive elves with a few key differences. their hair tends to be wild if left alone, but is often styled wildly anyway. set rather low on rounded but long faces, their large almond eyes are keen, and small hands very nimble. it’s not sure if its due to their close environments or frequent encounters with accidents in experiments, but their skulls are surprisingly hard, and they possess small horn nubs made of bone and coated in keratin. their small petal-shaped ears are set low and point outward, and are able to move a little to catch sound. they may look fragile due to their size and build but they are pretty hardy and more than capable.

HALFLING av height; 3′ | heads-high; 6 a very hardy but soft and welcoming folk, halflings are built for walking and surviving well, often coming from a semi-nomadic tradition. they typically have round faces with stronger jaws and soft round eyes, and their large ears are pointed upright. their figures easily get a little curved and chubby, especially when they have easy access to decent food, in preparation for harder times and the odd period of hunkering down for some downtime, say in poor weather. truly the most functional part of a halfling is their short powerful legs with big fairly flexible hard feet, and lion-like tail for balance, both insulated by hair.

DWARF av height; 4′3 | heads-high; 6.5 dwarves are accustomed to life in tougher terrain, typically with large parts spent in the ground. their broad frames are also squat down with thick short limbs, for huge power and for life in tunnels. wide feet keep them steady and sensitive to significant seismic energy in the earth, and wide hands aid in their work and the feel of the rock. their large round ears stick outward and are slightly mobile, large noses help condition the air, and high-set eyes with huge irises aid their vision in darker spaces and the ability to peek over things without being fully exposed. their skulls are also very thick just in case of falling rocks. all dwarves are very hairy and grow beards, taking pride in keeping and styling it.

GOLIATH av height; 7′6 | heads-high; 10 a totally different variety of rock & mountain people to dwarves, they do share a few traits. a goliath’s thick limbs are long with a big reach and huge stride, with big hands and feet for steady movement. as well as being hugely tall, they are broad, especially in their shoulders, with a long neck elevating their head further. their facial features tend to be very sharp, but long. they have little to no body hair, and they often dont grow head hair either, but decorate their skulls with tattoos. as they get older, the upper surfaces of their body develop pebble like growths under the skin, often in similar patterns to their habitats.

FIRBOLG av height; 7′6 | heads high; 9 firbolg typically live in deep forests but are actually a giantkin - although not too unbelievable given their huge height and thick build. large parts of their body are hairy, nearly furry, and their head hair is thick and wild, and they often have facial hair too. their large heads have long thick noses with an almost bovine leather to their top lips, and wide set eyes. their fluffy ears are very mobile, but when relaxed they drop and point downward. their nails are thick and sturdy, aiding in being even more dexterous while being so big. sometimes they are covered in layers of clothing, but they possess a tiny goat-like tail.

DRAGONBORN av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 8 dragonborns diverged from true dragons in the ancient past, likely due to a strong magical influence of some kind, but not so long ago that the bloodlines of dragons are absent from the race of dragonborn. (the illustration shows the typical head-shape and placement of ears, each bloodline has its own features). their chest is still very round like an animal, with deep chest muscles, a slightly less mobile shoulder, and short upper arm. their 4 clawed hands and feet somewhat resemble that of a true dragon, but smaller and a little less dangerous. the length of a dragonborn’s tail can vary from just the length from hips to floor, or up to their full height, and as well as being very useful for balance and dexterity, can be used for fighting. different bloodlines can interbreed, with it being a matter of chance which line is present in offspring (although metallic is more dominant over gemstone, and chromatic over both ... (ah yeah gemstone, ill get to that soon))

AARAKOCRA av height; 5′ | heads-high; 8.5 as an avian species, especially one capable of flight, the aarakocra’s bones are hollow, making them on the one hand very agile but a little fragile. their large wingspan nearly brushes the floor, and their wings attach high on their back, through to a deep avian keel. their arms have a long forearm, which is covered in bird-like scutes, and their 4 clawed hands are still remarkably talon like which quite short palms and very mobile thumbs. their legs are very long and powerful, and backed by a typically wedge shaped tail. more often than not, their physical appearance takes after raptor species of birds, but different populations can trend towards many different appearances, including parrots and waterfowl.

TABAXI av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 9 tabaxi are an unusual sight in many places still. their cat-like bodies are very flexible and suited to their athletic climbing lifestyle. their long hands and feet have very a powerful grip, and they can retract their front claws. their long feline face is something like a cheetah or a clouded-leopard, with large highly mobile ears, large eyes and a strong nose. 

ORC

av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 8

orcs are very powerfully build, with heavy muscles and thick bodies overall. compared to other humanoids they can look a little gorilla-like. their short legs are usually a little bent to carry weight better instead of busting knees when locked. their course wiry hair grows profusely all over their body. their strong nails often grow out a little pointed. their large thick heads have high heavy brows and protruding lower jaws, short round noses and low bud-shaped ears which stick outward. the lower jaw and sometimes upper contain tusks, sometimes multiple tusks, which are greatly cared for and very impressive.

HALF-ELVES av height; 5′6 | heads-high; 8.25 a half-elf’s build will be somewhere between human and elf, often inheriting something of an elf’s eyes and nose leather, shorter elf ears, and maybe a small tufted tail something like a rabbits

HALF-ORCS av height; 6′ | heads-high; 8 a half-orc’s build will be somewhere between human and elf, often inheriting something of an orc’s skin colour and dark and profuse wiry hair, shorter orc ears, and some small tusks.

GOBLIN av height; 4′ (stood straight) | heads high; 5.5 bat/cat-like ears, nose something like bear/cat, domed head, arms/legs same length, sparse wiry hair, claws, short digits, lithe but very strong and hardy

HOBGOBLIN av height; 5′3 (stood straight) | heads high; 8 bat/cat-like ears but pinched at the base, nose something like bear/cat, very domed head, arms slightly longer than legs, claws, sparse wiry hair, quite broad

BUGBEAR av height; 7′ (stood straight) | heads high; 7.5 bat-like ears, long domed head something like a lion/bear, arms very long, nearly totally covered in thick fur, big tusks and often fangs, very bear-like hands/feet, big claws, very broad

TRITON av height; 5′2 | heads high; 7.5 lithe but well muscled, quite streamlined for a humanoid, frilled ears, pretty flat face, fins on limbs/back, “hair” is tendrils/fins/etc, short strong legs & long arms, long webbed fingers, long flipper feet, gills along front/side of chest

YUAN-TI PUREBLOOD av height; 5′9 | heads high; 9 domed angular faces, lips are not humanoid, triangular eyes, scales, quite flat nostrils with sense pits following along underside cheekbones, very little cartilage in ear, some may have cobra hoods extending out of ear instead, very tall and thin with small hands/feet, reptilian claws

CENTAUR av height; 7′ | heads high; 10 fairly stocky pony body (usually about 4′10 at withers), very muscled front end, long neck & sloping human-shoulders, long faces with long broad noses, prominent lips, horse-like ears sticking up and out, their whole scalp can grow hair but shaved sides are common, can grow hair nearly all down human-spine

KOBOLD av height; 2′6 | heads high; 5.5 almost alligator-like head & eyes, tiny nub horns, quite animal-like chest, arms/legs same length, thick stubby tail same length of body, 4 digits with stubby claws, lithe but strong for their tiny size

KENKU av height; 4′ | heads high; 5.5 corvid features, deep chest but no keel, longer arms than legs, 4 digits with talons, hands human-like but scaled, wedge-like tail half of leg height, not-quite fully bird feet.

LIZARDFOLK av height; 6′6 | heads high; 7 iguana-like, egg-shaped head, neck wattle, line of back spines varies in height, long arms and legs, very reptilian hands and feet with long claws, elbow spikes

GRUNG av height; 3′ | heads high; 6.5 large heads, neck leads nearly directly into torso, super flexible, very long limbs, triangular body, short upper arm, shorter thigh, large hands/feet, 4 digits

LOXODON av height; 7′6 | heads high; 5.5 large head, trunk as long as torso, short legs / long arms, huge bones under thick muscle, thick skin, 4 digits with thick nails, large hands / rounded cushioned feet, v e r y broad and thick build, small tail with tuft at the end, 

TORTLE av height; 7′6 | heads-high; 7 thick wrinkled skin encased in huge shell, stooping posture with neck extending forward, very long arms & short legs, 5 digits with reptilian claws, boxy head, heart shaped from above with features set far forward, tail to balance stoop

MINOTAUR av height; 7′ | heads-high; 9 powerful build with thick bones, typically well muscled, bovine head on thick neck, often very large horns, fairly long tufted tail, big hooved feet, broad 4 digit hands with thick nails, hair length varies

PLANE THINGS ???

listen this was a lot easier in the edition i first encountered lol anyway, until anything else comes up in extra material im just applying a few square & rectangle venn diagram rules

a useful word; planetouched. i dont really know why WotC seems to have dropped that term for at least 5e (i missed 4e entirely) but it refers to a “mortal native outsider” with lineage or influence from a plane other than the material, so “a material plane native creature with non-native plane influence, which can die”

GENASI height depends on material plane parent the result of a material plane / elemental pair (usually genies). they usually take after their material parent in build and broader features, but their elemental heritage comes through in features like magical hair, bright coloured eyes, unusual body temperatures, innate magics, etc.  genasi can interbreed with themselves, and the crossing of two elements can produce some interesting results (im working on that :>)

TIEFLINGS height depends on material plane parents this is the first of the squares & rectangles, and tbh its basically canonical. a tiefling is the result of a material plane humanoid being born with fiendish* influence. the word ‘tiefling’ refers specifically to a human with fiendish influence, but is also an umbrella term for ALL fiendish planetouched creatures. these DO have some names mentioned in the play material ! fey’ri = elves, tanarukk = orcs, wisplings = halflings, maeluth = dwarves, etc. so all fiendish planetouched are tieflings, but not all tieflings are human-based. the fiendish influence can be dormant for years or just string along for decades. AnyWay, all of them have horns, most have tails, odd skin or eye colour, and others can have all sorts of extraplanar features. *(fiends are another venn diagram thing in D&D, its an umbrella term for both demons and devils) 

AASIMAR height depends on material plane parents aaand this is the second of the squares & rectangles, the not-strictly-canon one. okay duplicate what i said about tieflings, but make it about celestials not fiends, basically lmao. aasimar is an umbrella term, but also a human/celestial planetouched specifically! unlike the above, since its my homebrew concept i dont have other words specifically for other races’ celestial planetouched, but i’ll get there watch this space lol EnyHoo, they all tend to have a strange glow about them in general, but usually in their eyes, and maybe hair especially. it isnt uncommon for them to have a kind of halo around themselves, or glowing glyphs/runes/sigils on or around them either. while MOST dont have full wings, a dusting of feathers isnt unusual. the features of celestials can vary a lot more. for example, unicorns and leonals are actually celestials!

aaand the slightly odd-ball;

WARFORGED height depends on build purpose these are an interesting case, as warforged are actually constructs, brought into this world by the fusing of organic muscle (like wood or leathery material) to an inorganic shell (like stone or metal), imbuing a life-giving fluid of some sort to act like blood, and bringing life to it by a powerful ritual - a unique glyph etched into their heads. as their name suggests they are usually created to become soldiers, or other army positions, although they could be suited to other purposes. unlike most constructs, they are fully self-aware and have a mind on par with humans. they do not need sleep (but require rest) and they also do not naturally reproduce. if they live longer than their purpose, then they are turned loose to deal with the world as they wish. as they are MADE they can vary greatly depending on who made them, and for what exact purpose - although they tend to have beak-like mouths, and 3 digit hands and 2 toed feet.

AV. HEIGHT CHART FROM LEFT TO RIGHT !!! human - elf - dwarf - gnome - halfling - orc - goliath - firbolg - dragonborn - aarakocra - tabaxi - kenku - hobgoblin - bugbear - yuanti - triton - kobold - grung - lizardfolk - tortle - centaur - minotaur - loxodon

oooboy that was a lot of waffle :L

[mixedsnape]

Snapemas day 3: Smiles

In December, on the half day just before Christmas break, they were making presents for their parents in class. Most kids made glittery picture frames or salt dough ornaments, felt stockings or construction paper snowflakes. He didn’t know what to make, so he sat in the corner and pushed around the wooden beads on his desk.

[owo I only finished this at like 4 in the morning so its. late. also uh Tobias is here, but theres no like. Abusive stuff going on.]

@deepperplexity

3. Smiles 

Severus' dad was scary. He never knew when his dad would be mean or nice, if he would come home with a big frown and start yelling and throwing things or if he would come with a grin and a gift from work. He liked when his dad was happy, he could deal with his dad being mad, but he never knew what to do when he was quiet. 

He knew when winter was coming, not just because he had to bundle up in his mums old coats to go to school, but because his dad would start getting quiet. He stopped being angry and happy and sometimes wouldn’t even talk to him. He would come home and lock himself in his room. He didn’t even come down for dinner sometimes. 

His mum told him once that dad was like a bear. When winter came, he just got tired is all and they had to do a little more around the house so he could rest. So Severus made sure to be extra quiet around the house and to pay attention in school and help his mum make dinner at night, so that when his dad got home, maybe he could be happy. 

But winter came every year, and his dad went quiet anyways, taking his bottles up to his room at night and gone before he woke up in the morning. Some days, he didn’t leave his bed. And Severus couldn’t do anything about it. 

In December, on the half day just before Christmas break, they were making presents for their parents in class. Most kids made glittery picture frames or salt dough ornaments, felt stockings or construction paper snowflakes. He didn’t know what to make, so he sat in the corner and pushed around the wooden beads on his desk. 

“Severus?” his teacher, Sister Catherine, came up to his desk, kneeling down to see what he was doing, “Have you decided what to make?”

He shrugged, hoping she would move on, but she didn’t seem to take the hint. “Well, you could use those beads to make a bracelet for your mummy? Or you could come make an ornament?”

“It's fine,” he really didn’t want to go over to make something with the other kids. Most of them didn’t like him. 

“Well you can’t just make nothing,” She picked him up out of his desk, ignoring his little yelp, “Find something!”

Severus nodded, mostly because he knew he didn’t have a choice.

He looked around the class for something easy, something he didn’t have to try on.  He didn’t want to even touch the salt dough, he didn’t like the sound of the construction paper being cut, the glitter-

The glitter? He went over to the bottles of glitter, sparkling in the dull classroom light, beside the pompoms and sequins and pipe cleaners. He picked one up and shook it, watching the light catch on the different little pieces as they moved. It made him smile, just a little, and he had an idea of what to make. 

He scrambled across the table to grab the big, nearly empty sequin jar and dumps a whole pile of glitter into it. Then, he grabs another colour of glitter and dumps that in too. He shakes the jar around to mix everything up and he thinks it looks amazing. 

Severus looks around for something else to put in, to make it even better. He grabs the wooden beads from off his desk, a few of the mismatch coloured legos from the play area, and a few of the colourful push pins off the teacher's desk (when she wasn't watching). He puts them all together in the jar until it’s half full with colours and sparkles and it makes a loud clinging noise whenever he moves it. He’s too caught up in watching everything move together to realize Sister Catherine is coming up behind him.

“What have you made, Severus?” She asks, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“Its um,” He looks at it and bites his lip, “It’s a pretty jar. For my dad.”

“It’s pretty!” Sister Catherine grabs for the jar and Severus can’t do anything to stop her. She holds it up to the light to see the glitter and tries not to frown when she sees the thumbtacks. She shakes the jar and hears it jingle, “this is so nice, Severus! But you know what would be nice? If we could make it a little bit quieter.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I think it looks really nice, but maybe your dad would appreciate a little quiet?” She holds his hand and brings him away from the desk and to the classroom sink, “If we fill it with water, we can watch the glitter and the... colours fall without it being so loud.”

Severus nods, and she helps him lift the jar up into the sink basin and fill it up. Once it’s full, it’s too heavy and slippery to lift it out, so she has to help him again to carry it over to his desk and he really hopes he doesn’t look as embarrassed as he feels. 

Sister Catherine tells him they’re going to start cleaning up to finish off the day, and Severus spends the rest of the day staring at the glitter and wanting to hurry up and go home.

At the end of the day, he puts on his coat and shoes and promises his teacher he doesn’t need any help carrying the jar and he sets off.

He knows the way home, he’s walked home every day since he was old enough to know how, and he goes a good few streets without slowing down, but now he’s being weighed down by the heavy jar and the cold. He can tell that he’s moving slower than normal and it only makes him want to move faster so he can get home already!

He doesn’t want to stop for anything but halfway home, he can feel himself slowing to a crawl and the jar is getting colder and colder in his hands, freezing his fingers. He stops for a moment to check on his jar and can see the glass fogging from the inside, the water beginning to freeze.

Something flips in his brain and he panics, trying to think of a way to stop it from freezing. Without really thinking, Severus lifted up his jacket and slid the cold glass jar up to his belly, holding it through the fabric and getting back up to speed. He clutched the jar tight, mind racing as kids' minds are wont to do, trying his best to keep it warm in the freezing cold. If it froze, he couldn't give it to his dad, couldn’t show him how pretty it was, how hard he worked on it, and then how was he supposed to cheer him up? How was he supposed to help? 

Severus squeezed the jar until his arms hurt, from the weight and the pressure and the cold, until his chest stung from the glass pressing up against it and he could feel his body heat warming it. He just kept thinking, what if he could make his dad smile? If he could make him happy again? If he could be the one to make things better?

He's almost home, he swears almost there and the jar is finally warm and it's getting warmer and warmer until it’s hot and he’s holding it to stave off the cold from himself (and doesn’t see the slowly spreading glow coming off of it). The heat gives him that little push he needs to turn the corner onto his street, skidding on the frozen street and huffing up to his door, panting and knocking real loud so his mum can let him in.

“Severus?” the door swings open and his mum is standing over him, tired and smiling and worried all in one, “Were you supposed to get out early today?”

He nods, still gulping air and he’s so thankful when his mum pulls him inside and out of the cold. He toes off his shoes and carefully peels off his jacket, making sure not to drop the jar and turned to his mum, "Is dad home?"

She nods and he doesn't say anything about how that means his dad didn't go to work that day, instead asking, "Can I see him?"

"I suppose so, just behave yourself," His mum looked him over, eyeing the jar in his hands, "What is that?"

"I made dad a present in class today," he lifted it to show her, “I wanted to give it to him."

She looked between him, the jar and the stairs for a minute, then sighed, telling him to go ahead. 

Severus tried not to run up the stairs, but he wanted to see his dad now and having to run everywhere was so slow! So he bounced up the stairs and into his parents room, completely forgetting to knock until the door was already swung open and he was staring into the dark room, the only light coming in from the open door. 

He could hear his own breathing and the creak of the floor when he walked over to his parent’s bedside, to his dad, curled up under the blanket and facing away from him. 

“Dad?” He nudged his shoulder, “Are you awake?”

He moved, shrugging off Severus’ hand, but didn’t answer.

“Dad,” he tried a little bit louder, “Daaad.”

“What, boy?” his dad grumbled, turning his head just slightly. He couldn’t see Severus, but it was at least a sign he was listening to him.

“I- well,” He lifted the jar up a little higher, steeling himself, “I made you something in class. I wanted to give it to you.”

His dad was quiet for a long moment, but sighed, picking himself up a little bit and turning to face him, to see what he’d brought. He looked at Severus, eyes squinting in the dark, and then to the jar, face twisting. “What is that?”

“It’s a... jar.” He held it up to the light and shook it so his dad could see all the glitter and sequins and blocks and beads he had put inside and he swore it didn’t shine like that at school, but maybe it was just the hallway light going through it, “I thought it looked nice and maybe it would help cheer you up!” His dad sat up fully, so he held the jar out for his dad to take. As soon as the jar was out of his hands, he felt how cold the room was and wondered just how hot the jar actually was. “I hugged it the whole way hope to make sure it didn’t freeze!”

The jar looked a lot smaller in his dad’s hands, but he was staring at it, watching the beads and glitter fall through the water. Severus couldn’t help the pride he felt when his dad’s lip twitched just a little in the corner. His dad, even if he was still quiet and tired, smiled at him and Severus beamed. 

“It’s great, Sev. Thanks.”

[vynnyal]

Throwing random thoughts, headcanons, and a variety of pasta at the wall (but only those having to do with vessels and/or their biology this time): The Thrilling Third Installment™

...aka pretending i can be dark and dramatic jskhdfd

Thk's larger form is not the standard, but the exception. Thk was cited as being "raised and trained to prime form", which people take to mean pk assisted in the vessel's natural growth. However, that conclusion leaves a lot of unanswered questions, most important of which being “then what about Ghost?” In short, I think that train of thought is backwards. Vessels can't grow- they are ageless, and immortal. We know this due to Ghost, despite living as long if not longer than thk, being completely unchanged over the years. The only thing pk trained into "prime form" was thk’s mind and fighting prowess. Their body... well, I think it was mutated. Most likely either directly by pk, or ordered by him- and with the shenanigans happening over in the sanctum, I wouldn't be surprised if Soul was involved, too. In any case, it was in no means natural. Vessels are corpses reanimated by void; neither corpses nor void tend to make drastic changes on their own all that often. Whether pk predicted the vessel’s “issues” and intended to manually “upgrade” them from the beginning, it's hard to say. But... yeah. Unless Ghost goes out of their way to make themselves grow- if its even possible, now that pk is gone- its fairly safe to say, they never will.

...with that in mind, we are promptly gonna ignore that for the rest of this post lmaooo

Grown-up vessels wouldn't look like thk; while they are described as being raised into "prime form"... prime form, to whom? Rather than looking like an idealized pk soldier, it sounds much more fitting that they’d have an entirely different, natural adult form. Consider: their cloaks being longer and fuller, perhaps filling out into something with a more practical use to their “species”. Better yet, they could even grow up to be more beast-like. Feral vessels, YEhaW

The black egg temple is cited as being "built to sustain [vessels]", yet it can't be their lifespan that is sustained. Rather, it seems the egg is specifically designed to keep the radiance from tearing thk apart, physically and/or mentally. Ngl its p obvious, but worth noting.

Sorta-au where Ghost’s shade has 8 eyes, and/or is generally all-around more cryptid-looking.

@ the sharpshadow charm and the strange, 6-eyed creature their shade turns into: kudos to this post, they bring up something super interesting- the creature not only resembles the Shade Lord, but the lord outright becomes it during the Embrace the Void cutscene.

makes me respect the ol’ civilization a whole lot more if a single charm can turn a baby shade into a baby lord.

The concept of finding ghosts unconscious body, laying next to a corpse, while they battle in their dreams. Alt: when ghost enters the dream realm, their shade leaves their shell... And protects their body from harm.

If steel soul mode is taken as canon, just how did ghost and the shade meet? Alt: Ghost may never have “met” it at all, as it technically doesn’t exist in that mode- instead, its more of a metaphor than an actual entity.

What the vessels looked like- or were supposed to look like- before the void. Alt: a story following a child, alive and untouched, that somehow managed to be spared. They could even have a gender. Alt alt: the void intentionally spared them for some purpose, or even out of simple kindness- or at least, something that resembles kindness.

Re: the shade inexplicably having a nail: all the vessel's swords are crafted from “will-bearing rock”- of which i’ve come to lovingly call living stone- and as such, are of void themselves. That's how the shade seems to conjure up its own copy; it merely shapes it, from the ground, using void. And, while more of a stretch, Ghost’s nail being some sort of living stone/pale ore alloy could explain just how Ghost can do seemingly pretty crazy things with an otherwise ordinary nail. Better, while 100% a baseless hc, its material might actually enable Ghost to build it up and modify it to suite their size as they grow older. finally, a logical reason adult Ghost has an adult-sized nail-claymore. hdsfghjfghdsjf

On that same thought: Ghost outright invented the "art" of manipulating- or creating- living stone to make their nail. ...gimme a sec. The other escaped vessels have nails, too, right? Either meaning they also discovered this ability... or that theres some legitimate ground for the “vessel gang” hc. Or, yanno, i’m reading too much into Ari’s sprites but sHHhh

How did all the vessels know to race to the top? They seemed to be falling merely because they had just been born and had literal, actual baby strength; yet not only did they inexplicably risk everything competing to the top, they somehow knew death was waiting if they lost. Alt: pk just, bringing a fucking megaphone and telling them like a sports announcer.

What if Ghost made it, and instead of falling, they managed to joined thk at the lip? What would pk do? Push them off the edge??? Or just adopt them both?? Oh fuck au where they're raised as twin sacrifices. Or worse yet, they’re raised unequally, and one is trained only as an afterthought. As a backup.

Alternatively, pk keeps all the vessels au, only a few years later when they're grown. Pk now has a literal army of pure knights. Radiance is fucked.

Hm. If vessels were fully coherent entities from the moment of birth, why was there a crib in the white palace? Did... did they use it? I have a feeling team cherry made that asset before the abyss scene lmaooo alt: they did, uh, use the crib. Cue a very awkward scene of thk, clearly not a normal baby, staring at wl with like... idk, the poofy baby hat and pacifier. I can’t tell if the image is more funny or more sad rn shdfgfjsdgg

The og notes that inspired this post, in case my rambling makes more sense (and w/o the awful comic hjsfgjsdfhj): Oh oh OH i GET it now. The void is all about "will" and whatnot, right? And shades are "fragments of a lingering will"- will, like the one you leave after your death, but instead of inheritance its the vessels' desires...last regrets.... DAMN team cherry, that symbolism is clever as heck. That took me a while. Kinda funny how a will is, technically, a person's last regrets Like I knew they were last regrets but I didn't understand WHY. Duh, it's because they're literally Made Of Will. They are the vessel's "wills". I'm so stupid.

Ghost, walking thru the abyss, getting increasingly fed up / freaked out, ducking into a crack in the wall. They follow the crack into the Scream Chamber, pause, then exhale in relief that this was EXACTLY what they needed.

Ghost's shade rolling up its void-sleeves like “fuck it, ima defeat thk myself”

Why was thk's sword there? Was its pedestal decayed? Did it fall from their body? Was it place there as an afterthought, or hurriedly? alt: taking thk's sword before freeing them, but doing the mom thing like you're grounding them hdhfjchjch

I can’t believe it just occured to me now, but... as objectivley stupid as the vessel’s test was, Ghost... technically came in second place. What if that whole scene was a metaphor? Because really, it’s just too silly to take seriously. To do so isn’t too far fetched, either; many other elements in the game’s story are better taken as symbolic or metaphorical, anyways. Take the PoP cutscene- while it could’ve been a literal moment, where they just happened to find themselves standing around and took the moment to appreciate each other... imo it makes much more sense to read it as the concept of their faint ~forbidden love~ and parental pride itself. Or, better yet, the scene at the end of the 4th pantheon. Sorry, but I severely doubt that was an actual event. What I’m trying to get at is the significance of “second place” in the cutscene. My brain is too fried to chase down any other possible connections to this theme rn (if thats even what the theme is), but even without proof, the theory smooths out a few interesting tidbits related to just how Ghost could tough it out when all others failed. All except for #1, anyway. Either way I’m just happy to take this as an excuse to pretend that cutscene didn’t literally happen because like, l m a o

The story of a small group of vessels as they work together to escape hallownest. (aka the aforementioned vessel gang hc... im sure theres a more formal name but you get the idea). Its impossible to tell how long it took them to discover that near-invisible hole, the last exit remaining after the king ordered the abyss to be sealed up. Once they did, however, the remaining vessels were quick to make a desperate scramble to escape- only for the entrance to suddenly crumble shut, far, far too soon. The remaining 8 slowly made their way through deepnest, their numbers quickly dwindling as the jouney started to take its toll. The group was nearly wiped out by those terrible, spiney-legged creatures that used their own kinship against them. Only three finally escaped the deep, yet only two made it through the basin- the third, largest sibling, left to fight alone againt a hopeless battle, just to buy the others time. It was in greenpath, so close yet so far to their goal, that the second succumbed to the infection. It was a mercy killing, that nail through the heart. The last, after all of that, finally made their way to the very precipice of howling cliffs, hesitating for just a moment to gaze out upon the still-fresh ruins of hallownest. But only for a moment, before Ghost jumps down to begin their journey beyond this wretched place.

A vessel running from its shade as it tirelessly pursues them, the vessel refusing to put it to rest.

tw: suicide, + personal on main

Ugh ugh ugh ugh Either thk was fully conscious and in terrible pain for all those years... or they couldn’t feel anything at all. The former is horrible, but imagining thk waking up, chained, unable to do anything but wait for Ghost to heed their call? Did they turn their nail on themselves to help Ghost, end the pain, or some awful mix of both? For someone who has personally dealt with close friends and family that struggled with suicide themselves, hollowknight is one of the worst horror stories I've ever seen. And the fact that the story is so personal, so open to interpretation? The fact that each character is so genuine yet vague enough to be read completely differently to someone else’s biases? Its why hollow knight- the game, and the character- will forever be one of the most powerful stories to me.

in short, good LORD THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING SAD

[voidselfshipp]

Double The Gambit, Double The Fun.

Cw: food ment, Eye contact, ask to tag.

Ok to rb

Summary: by some reason gambit finds his version from another dimention, and jerico has to deal with the consequences.

A/n: heres the second gambit aka ettiene.

Jerico was too distracted on her phone, there wasnt much to do other than wait for her laundry to be done, wich she asked Jean who was also in the laundry room to let her know that it was finished.

Ignoring the footsteps as she sunk in the sofá shes suddenly startled by a voice she knew all too well.

--wasnt expectin you here Cherie-- remy said, leaning on his Cane.

She raises a brow looking at the man-- ah mira quien vino (ah look who decided to come by), nice to see you again gambit, thought youd be too busy gambling and scamming people

-- I dont scam thats filthy work-- he added leaning slightly foward.

Theres a silence that lasts a few seconds before they both laugh.

She stands up, greeting Him properly.

-- so whats up?

He sighed, tipping his hat-- we May have a situation,follow me

-- that doesnt sound misterious or anything...--quipped the woman walking.

When they got to the courtyard, there he was, a Man,leaning on a beautiful coupe Nova,too distracted playing with a coin he doesnt notice them both walking.

--i was walkin to see the professor-- started gambit-- and I fell to the floor, when I stood up I found him there

-- a New student?

-- no sweetheart, thats me, but from other dimention, at least thats what the professor told us

Jerico raises a brow--uh, Sir?-- she asked as the other gambit looked at him.

-- well well well, the southern belle herself, jerico nice to meet you, im--

--remy, i know-- she snorted thinking he'd shake her hand, but of course he grabbed her hand and kisses her knuckles,winking.

Not only she had to bear her remys flirt but now a second one? She was sure she might pass out if the two of them teamed up to mess with her.

-- and you brought me here because?

-- the professor told me to ask you to read his emotions to see if hes up to something

Jer scoffed and smiles--if its you, then he might be-- the men laugh and she looks at the second remy.

--Dont worry If it feels weird, im not going to hurt you

-- even if you did sweetheart I wouldnt mind-- the second remy winked.

--callate vos-- she answered in a fit of giggles.

She knew how to shut him up, she took his forearm and traced her fingers across the soft fabric of his coat, thumb caressing his wrist up to holding his hand.

Her free hand pressed itself against his cheek holding it softly, and she closes her eyes.

Her remy, the one from her dimention was snickering as his copy was starting to blush by the tenderness of jericos hands.

Who, as soon as she finished readind his emotions she let go, he almost whines but for his pride he shuts up Real quick.

-- hes fine, dont worry, id assume you two are gonna share a dorm?

Remys dorm was just Next to hers,she tries to play it cool but she was freaking out.

--yeah-- the two remys answered at the same time.

--Now that I think of it, we should reffer to him--she pointed at the second remy-- a different name,...god ,what was your middle name, ...ettiene?

Remy nodds, and the now ettiene tilts His head raising his shoulders.

Jerico heard jeans voice in her head telling her that the laundry was done, so she said her goodbyes and Walked back into the mansion.

As she shoves her clothes into a basket she looks at Jean-- your boyfriends texting during class?

The telepath smiles laughing-- he wants me to help him with his test

--what if the professor finds out?

Both women look at eachother to then laughs-- well he May think its clever!-- added Jean-- speaking about boys, heard about the second remy, youre gonna have it rough huh?

Jer giggled-- well, double the fun I guess,anyway, bye Jean!

--bye jerico!

The empath Walked back to her room upstairs and left the basket on a corner going to her bed to collapse.

The rest of the day was calm as both gambits settled down in their room.

They were talking when they heard Jers voice singing from the other room.

Its a song in spanish, they cant place what shes saying.

-- southern belles singing-- said ettiene sitting on his bed.

-- shes always singing,I always listen-- added remy leaving his staff against the wall-- I wish I could hear her speak spanish more often, she has such a beautiful accent

--That she does

At night the students all went to get their food, jubilee and Jean went out for the night, leaving jerico all alone in the mansion.

As she grabs her food, she hears the footsteps she learnt how to identify, she turns around meeting with both of the gambits.

Remy, not missing a beat in teasing her he goes-- whats a pretty Lady like you, doing in a place like this?

-- in the kitchen? Getting food-- he looks at her with his brows furrowed--...fine-- she sighs fighting back a smile-- fella done me wrong, Im distracting myself from the thought of him

Ettiene also jumped in, they were like brothers teaming up to annoy someone.

--well-- said the second gambit-- hes a fool for leaving such a pretty Lady behind

-- oh hes not that bad-- added jerico-- hes a very flirty Man with a nice sense of fashion, one day I might even give him a chance...

-- lucky fella-- added remy.

-- yeah, but I know theres more to him that a secure, cheeky exterior, one could even say afraid-- she leaned in both of them taking their hand.

They both were nervous-- afraid of hearbreak-- she leaned closer.

She then snatches her Plate and her bottle of soda and leans back-- but then again, arent we all?

She left the kitchen with a huge smile on her face as a very flustered remy shouted-- how come you always turn it around?!

--i know you remy!-- she shouted back.

While she Ate, the two men went upstairs back to their dorms,having ate early, they went to bed early.

--i see what you see in her-- ettiene said taking off his shoes.

-- shes the best isnt she?...I never had problem facing a Lady but with her is different

--guess no Point in hiding your feelings from her?

Remy nodded-- she already knows, but I dont know if ya noticed, but when she reads emotions you can feel a bit of hers,she wont do the first move

-- shes scared?

-- yep, cant blame her tho, as she said, arent we all scared of rejection

Jerico finished eating her food, and left the Plate on the kitchen.

When she got to her room she sat in bed,seeing what jubilee and Jean sent her.

They seem to be having fun.

Looking at the time she sighed.

Going to knock on remys door.

If her Friends were having fun, why shouldnt she?

--Ah, look who came by ettiene

-- salty for todays lose LeBeau?

--maybe, but its late what are you--

Jerico kissed him, he kissed back, taken off guard as his arms slipped around her waist pulling her in his room closing the door with his foot.

When they pull away, ettiene comes behind remy and smiles.

-- theres one for you to ettie-- said jerico kissing ettiene softly, he hugs her smiling like a kid in love.

-- well, im assumin you didnt come by just to kiss us good night

She shakes her head pulling both men in for a hug, it felt nice.

-- no, I came by to hang out with you two, I was all alone in my room, figured id come by and spend time with my two favorite men -- said jer.

Both smile cupping her cheeks one each.

-- look at you getting us all in love with you-- said ettiene pressing his forehead against hers-- god, youre beautiful...

Remy pressed a kiss to her jaw and her neck pulling her closer-- im just glad I can finally hold you

Jerico smiles-- guys I feel like im about to melt, stop--

Both chuckle hugging her tighter.

-- well-- said ettiene-- me and...me, were going to watch a movie, fancy staying for a while?

She nodds and the three slip in bed, cuddling as they watch said movie.

The first one to fall asleep was ettiene, then remy who had his face on the crook of her neck.

Jerico was the last one to fall asleep, in the arms of both her lovers, safe from the outside world.

[gilbert-blythe-ruined-my-life]

Anna watches S03xE10 for the first time (warning: spoilers!)

I’M GOING TO CRY.

Here we go guys!!

Last ep of season 3!

I am NOT ready.

Not in the least.

I’m so freaked out.

I don’t want it to end.

I’m so worried.

Let’s go!

MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

I CAN FEEL MY HEART.

THIS CAN’T BE GOOD FOR ME.

I’M SHAKING.

WHAT THE HECK.

GUYS.

THAT THUMBNAIL.

WE’RE GETTING OUR SHIRBERT KISS.

 WE HAVE TO.

WE’RE GETTING OUR KISS.

WHOOP WHOOP.

NOW FOR THE SYNOPSIS.

SHOOT. MATTHEW’S GOING TO DIE ISN’T HE?

MATTHEW’S GOING TO DIE.

MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST.

MY HEART.

MY HEART.

WHY ISN’T THIS EP LOADING.

I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

MY POOR HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS.

I’M SHAKING AS I TYPE.

POOR WINNIE.

GILBERT YOU JERK.

AT LEAST YOU DIDN’T PROPOSE.

IT HURTS MY HEART TO SEE HER CRY LIKE THIS.

‘I’m being thrown over for an unrequited love!’ WINNIE YOU DESERVE MORE THAN THAT.

‘Winnie, you deserve so much more than being settled for’. YES GILBERT. THAT’S MY BOY! MY SON! I TAKE BACK ANYTHING BAD I EVER SAID! YOU’VE MADE ME PROUD! MY SON! MY SON! MY SON! MY SON! MY SON!

LOOK AT MY SON!

PRIDE IS NOT THE WORD I’M LOOKING FOR!

THERE IS SO MUCH MORE INSIDE ME NOW!

MyYyYyYyYyYyYyY SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My heart hurts so much for Winnie rn. It’s breaking for her.

Does Anne’s hair look shorter to anyone else?

IF ANNE DOESN’T ACE HER EXAMS I’M GOING TO FLIP.

YES THEY TIED FOR FIRST!!!!

‘Is there anything else you’d like to say? Like to say to me?’

‘Congratulations’.

POOR ANNE. MY BABY. SHE’S GONNA THINK HE’S SO HEARTLESS.

‘Potato lightbulbs forever!’ LMAO.

YES YOU’RE NOT GOING TO THE SORBONNE. I TAKE BACK ALL I’VE SAID ABOUT MY SON. 

‘Worthy? Lovely? Kind? Aparently not’. NO I HATE THIS OH THE ANGST IS UNBEARABLE.

‘Now I have my answer and I am free’. NO ANNE YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR ANSWER.

‘And guess what? We’re going to be roomates!’ YES. DIANA BEST BE GOING TO QUEEN’S IN THIS VERSION. 

‘Diana this is a dream come true, if I could write the perfect ending to this chapter of our lives it would be this!’ SAME ANNE, SAME.

MY DIANNE HEART.

‘Seven days until we spread our wings and soar!’

OH IT’S ALL ABOUT TO GO DOWN.

ARE WE READY FOR THIS?

‘It’s your future not theres!’

‘IT’S NOT YOUR FUTURE IT’S OURS!’

I’M NGL, I LAUGHED SO HARD. I KNOW IT’S NOT FUNNY BUT I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RN.

‘Deceitful child! How could you! How could you be so selfish!’

 GETTING MAJOR MR G VIBES FROM MRS BARRY. SHE CAN’T FATHOM THE SELFHISHNESS OF IT!

‘You have one job!’

DID HE JUST SWEAR AT MY BABY. AND I WAS STARTING TO LIKE MR BARRY. 

NOBODY SHOUTS AT MY BABY. DIANA IS MY DAUGHTER, NOT YOURS. HOW DARE YOU.

MY BABY ANNE IS GONNA GET A CORSET.

‘They’re so uncomfortable!’

‘How have you come by this opinion since you’ve never worn one!’

YIKES, MARILLA DOESN’T KNOW, TIME TO PEDDLE BACK ANNE.

BAHAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT MATTHEW AND JERRY DURING CORSET TALK.

THEY WANT JERRY TO BOARD AT GREEN GABLES.

‘I’m not dead I’m just going to college!’ AGAIN I’M LAUGHING SO HARD.

‘So you’re getting a boy after all’. NO ANNE PLEASE BABY DON’T.

HAZEL IS PROUD OF BASH. IMA CRY.

BASH IS GONNA CRY TOO. OH, THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL.

GUYS.

GUYS.

IT’S THE PEN.

IT’S OUR HERO!

THE PEN HAS COME TO SAVE OUR SHIP!

OUR HERO HAS ARRIVED.

WE’RE HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO TILL THE MORNING LIGHT!

OUR HERO IS HERE, REJOICE!

I’M SORRY.

THIS LOVE LETTER.

HE’S WRITING HER A LOVE LETTER.

SHE’S THE LONE OBJECT OF HIS AFFECTION AND DESIRE.

WHAT IS THIS.

WHAT IS THIS.

ALRIGHT, WHICH ONE OF US WROTE THIS?

THIS IS FANFICTION.

SHE’S THE KEEPER OF THE KEY TO HIS HEART.

SHE’S THE KEEPER OF THE KEY TO HIS HEART.

SHE’S THE KEEPER OF THE KEY TO HIS HEART.

SHE’S THE KEEPER OF THE KEY TO HIS HEART.

ANNE SHIRLEY CUTHBERT IS THE KEEPER OF THE KEY TO GILBERT BLYTHE’S HEART.

EXCUSE ME GUYS I HAVE TO TAKE A BREAK.

I HAVE TO SCREAM.

I NEED TO TAKE A WALK.

BRB.

*elevator music plays*

I’M BACK FROM MY BREAK. I WAS AT LEAST HALF AN HOUR.

I’M STILL NOT CALM.

THE BREAK DID NOTHING.

HE DOESN’T WANT TO ALARM HER.

HE DOESN’T EXPECT HER FAVOUR.

BUT HE CAN’T IN GOOD CONSCIENCE NOT REVEAL HIMSELF.

HE’S NOT ENGAGED, NOR WILL HE BE.

UNLESS IT’S TO ANNE.

HOLD UP.

HOLD THE PHONE.

DID HE JUST CALL HER HIS ANNE?

HIS ANNE WITH AN E?

I CAN’T TAKE THIS

SHOOT. TIME FOR ANOTHER HALF HOUR BREAK.

*elevator music plays*

THE WRITERS READ SHIRBERT FANFICTION, I SWEAR.

HE’S IN HER ROOM. WHAT.

THE PEN CAME THROUGH SO GOOD.

ANNE NAMED THE COWS PRIDE AND PEJUDICE. I AM SCREAMING.

SHE’S FOUND THE LETTER.

WHAT THE HECK.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

NO.

THIS IS MORE PAINFUL THAN ANNE’S NOTE.

NO, PLEASE, NO.

WHY?

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY????

WHY?

ANNE YOU’RE SO STUPID.

MY STUPID DAUGHTER.

UGH.

REALLY ANNE?

NOW YOU’VE REARRANGED THE LETTER?

I HATE THIS.

I HATE THIS.

‘I don’t matter. I can’t fly’.

WELL BREAK MY HEART WHILE YOU’RE AT IT.

WHY THIS WHY????

‘My poor diana. They’ve clipped your wings’.

HAHAHAHA IT’S OKAY I DIDN’T NEED MY HEART ANYWAY.

I HATE ALL OF THIS.

‘Gilbert is marrying the girl of his dreams and it’s not me’. 

OH THE WRITERS ARE REALLY HAVING FUN AREN���T THEY?

THEY THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

THAT THIS IS A JOKE?

THIS IS MY LIFE!!!!!

‘My grown up girl!’

‘I don’t wanna go! I wanna stay here and do my chores and be a family round the fire and I want things to go back to the way they used to be!’

This reminds me of that spongebob episode where spongebob goes to his grandma’s with Patrick and gets jealous of Patrick and decides he doesn’t want to be a grownup after all. Only in this scenario Anne is spongebob, Matthew is the grandma and Jerry is Patrick.

ELIJAH.

YES ELIJAH, GET YOUR REDEMPTION ARC!

NO, PLEASE.

I UNDERSTAND BASH’S ANGER.

BUT PLEASE.

LET HIM FORGIVE HIM SOON.

PLEASE.

IT’S WHAT MARY WOULD HAVE WANTED.

‘Please forgive me, mama. Forgive me’.

OKAY THIS IS BEYOND PAINFUL.

THIS IS A NEW LEVEL OF PAIN.

‘You can’t know happiness unless you’ve known sorrow’. PREACH MISS STACEY PREACH. ONE CAN’T EXIST WITHOUT THE OTHER.

MRS THOMAS HAS THINGS FROM THE SHIRLEY HOUSE. OH BOY. HERE WE GO.

‘I hope you’re pondering your insensitivity to our child!’

NO MATTHEW DON’T CRY.

‘I don’t want her to worry about us! I want her to step into the shoes of her own life!’

THE FEELINGS.

ELIJAH IS HELPING ON THE FARM. PLEASE LET HIM HAVE HIS REDEMPTION ARC. PLEASE, PLEASE.

LOOK AT MY GROWN UP BABY.

OH, HOW BEAUTIFUL SHE LOOKS!

SHE’S TAKING KA’KWET’S HAIRTIES.

TIME TO CRY.

BRB.

OH THE PAIN.

LOOK AT MY BABIES.

LOOK AT HOW GROWN UP THEY ALL ARE!

THE MAID LILY IS DEAF!!! SHE’S SIGNING!!

ANNE IS MISSING DIANA.

I CAN’T BELIEVE ANNE NEVER GOT TO READ GILBERT’S LOVENOTE.

I’M SUING FOR EMOTIONAL DISTRESS.

A LETTER FROM SCOTLAND.

I BET SHE HAS FAMILY.

ELIJAH AND DELLY. MY HEART. MY HEART!!!!

LOOK AT COLE. MY SON! HE LOOKS SO GOOD! HE LOOKS SO HAPPY!

ANNE IS SO BEAUTIFUL! LOOK AT MY BABY! LOOK AT MY PRINCESS!!!!

NO EXTENDED FAMILY? UGH

NO COMMUNICATION AFTER IMMIGRATION? UGH.

ANNE AND COLE. HE KNOWS HER SO WELL. DON’T CRY MY BABY.

ANNE AND MATTHEW! IT’S WHAT WE DESERVE!

ANNE IS SO BEAUTIFUL!

YES MARILLA AND MATTHEW GO TO MRS THOMAS.

YES SHIRLEYS! REMEMBER THE SHIRLEYS!

‘For my Bertha, so you can share your love of the natural world with your pupils. Love always, Walter’.

PLEASE STOP. OH MY BERTHA AND WALTER FEELS. OH, THIS IS TOO MUCH. THIS IS FAR TOO MUCH!!

IS ANNE GONNA SEE WINNIE? YES!

YES WINNIE, TELL HER!

DIANA TELL HIM. DIANA, YES, MY DAUGHTER! TELL HIM!

THIS SPEECH. DIANA IS THE WHOLE FANDOM. WE LOVE YOU DIANA!

ALL HAIL QUEEN DIANA!

‘Letter? Diana, what letter?’

OH BOY.

IT’S ALL ABOUT TO GO DOWN!

HE’S RUNNING TO HER.

HE’S FOUND HER.

OH BOY.

THE LOOKS.

IT’S WHAT WE’VE WANTED.

THEY KNOW HOW THEY FEEL.

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT.

OH MY.

OH MY.

OH MY.

OH MY.

OH MY.

OH MY.

OH MY.

OH MY.

OH MY.

WE GOT IT.

SHIRBERT FAM.

 WE GOT IT.

WE POPPIN THE BIGGEST BOTTLES.

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!

IT’S A CELEBRATION!

SHE’S PINCHING HERSELF. SAME, GIRL, SAME!

ANNE KISSED GILBERT.

TWO KISSES.

WE GET TWO KISSES!!!

TWO KISSES!

AND A HAND KISS!

OH WE ARE EATING SO GOOD!

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!

A LITTLE PARTY NEVER KILLED NOBODY!

SO WE GON DANCE UNTIL WE DROP!

DIANA’S HERE! SHE’S GOING TO QUEENS!

THREE KISSES.

THREE KISSES!

THREE KISSES??????

 AM I DREAMIING

I’M DREAMING! I’M SHAKING!

OH THE BEAUTY!

THE BEAUTY!

THE BEAUTY!

A LITTLE PARTY NEVER KILLED NOBODY!

SO WE GON DANCE UNTIL WE DROP!

SO THEY’VE GIVEN BERTHA THE RED HAIR! I’M NOT EVEN MAD! IT FITS SO WELL!

I LOVE RED HEADED BERTHA!

GUYS TIME TO SCREAM.

NOT ONLY DID WE GET A KISS.

WE GOT THREE KISSES.

AND A HAND KISS.

TIME TO DIE.

OH HOW BEAUTIFUL.

I’M SO HAPPY RN.

TIME TO PARTY GUYS! LET’S PARTY ALL NIGHT!

WE GON DANCE UNTIL WE DROP! 

TIME TO CELEBRATE!

THREE KISSES! THREE!!!!!!!!

AND A HAND KISS!

A little party never killed nobody, so we gon' dance until we drop A little party never killed nobody, right here, right now's all we got A little party never killed nobody, so we gon' dance until we drop A little party never killed nobody, right here, right now's all we got

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi! Theres this story I've started, But the beginning is horribly awkward, and I'm sure the ending might be aswell, so I was wondering if you could give some advice on how to write the beginning/ending?

Writing Great Beginnings and Endings

One of the absolute best tips I can give you for writing great beginnings and endings is to not worry about it when you’re writing your first draft. Why? Because no matter how well you’ve plotted out your story, it’s absolutely going to evolve as you write it. Things will get added, taken out, and changed. What you end up with will likely be quite different from what you started out thinking you were writing. In other words, no matter what the beginning is in your first draft, there’s a good chance you’re going to want to change it later anyway. So, just go with that horribly awkward beginning until you’ve written at least the first draft of your story and have a better idea of what it’s going to be. (And same goes for the ending, too.)

When you’ve got a completed first draft, you can start working on a better beginning. Here are some tips:

Choosing a Beginning

The beginning of your story should accomplish four things:

1. Provide a snapshot of your character’s normal life, prior to whatever changes will be brought on by the inciting incident.

2. Establish the setting, or at least the parts that will be important to know before the inciting incident. 

3. Introduce any supporting characters that are important from the beginning on through the story.

4. Illustrate your character’s flaws and things about their life that should probably change, along with your character’s internal problem and goal.

So, one way to figure out when to start the story is to look at your inciting incident and rewind a few hours or days. Look at what your character is doing in their normal life. Can you find anything about their “status quo” life that might be interesting in some way? Suzanne Collins chose to start The Hunger Games with Katniss doing some illegal hunting with Gale. Maggie Stiefvater chose to begin The Raven Boys with Blue sitting in a frozen churchyard watching ghosts with her mother’s half-sister, Neeve. Jane Austen began Pride and Prejudice with Mrs. Bennet regaling her husband with the news that the nearby manor house has been let by a rich man--and though, in this case, we don’t see our hero, Lizzie, in this scene, we can observe a lot about her just from what we learn about her parents. Also, her father has some high praise for Lizzie compared with his other daughters, and that tells us even more.

While it’s fine to begin with a little bit of exposition (many stories do), you want to make sure you move into some action fairly soon, ideally after no more than a few paragraphs or a page at most. And remember, “action” doesn’t have to mean a big car chase or epic fight scene. “Action” just means that something is happening rather than something is being told.

Choosing an Ending

The ending of your story should accomplish these three things:

1. Provide a snapshot of your character’s life after all the changes brought on by the events that unfolded because of the inciting incident.

2. Let us know where the supporting characters ended up, if that’s not already apparent.

3. Illustrate how your character has changed, or how they’ve helped someone else change or changed their environment.

Remember, stories are ultimately journeys of transformation. Usually it is the protagonist themselves who change, either for better or worse, but sometimes the protagonist stays the same (static) and instead helps someone else change or brings about change in a place or situation. By the time you’ve gotten to the end of your first draft, you should have a pretty good idea of what changed, which will help you figure out the best way to end your story. One of the best ways to illustrate that change is to make your ending mirror the beginning in some way. It doesn’t have to be a literal mirror image, but just as the opening showed your character’s life just before the transformative journey begins, the ending shows your character’s life afterward. For example, in the movie Under the Tuscan Sun, the story begins with the protagonist happily married, surrounded by friends, and living a successful life. The inciting incident changes this and unleashes a transformative journey which finds her buying and restoring a rundown house in Italy. Part of her transformation is learning that she can still have all the things she had before--love, family, and joy--but that those things can come into your life in unexpected ways and don’t necessarily require romantic love. So, in the end, we see her happy in her finally renovated new home, surrounded by friends and people she loves, relaxed and full of joy. And, as a bonus, we get a little nod to the fact that romantic love may be in the cards for her after all. So, like I said, don’t sweat the beginning and end until you have a completed first draft. Let the beginning and end be awkward and awful. Then, once you know what your story truly is, you can start looking at the advice up above and you’ll be more easily able to apply it to your story. Good luck! :)

[yeet-or-be-hawed]

“No One Mourns the Wicked Part 1: What is This Feeling?” Low Honor!Arthur Morgan x Low Honor!Reader

For those of you who saw my post about the multi part fic based on a musical, wait no longer because this is the first part! Okay, I know what you’re thinking; ‘Wicked and cowboys? Amber, you’ve really lost it this time!’ Just trust me on this one, and I promise you’ll enjoy ☺️

The first part of this fic was loosely based on the song What Is This Feeling? from the Broadway musical Wicked. I’ve been listening to the soundtrack on repeat for a solid two weeks and it has consumed my life so obviously I had to tie it into my fics.

There has always been a tinge of rivalry between the two of you, one might even say, loathing. Between constant clashing around camp and the stress of being roommates, theres a tension between you and Arthur. What kind of tension you ask? One might say the tension is...wicked. 

Part 2

There was only one word to describe how you felt towards Arthur: loathing, pure unadulterated loathing. He’s rubbed you the wrong way ever since you became a part of the gang. He bumps you on purpose as he passes you when your hands are full, he insists on joining jobs you’re on, ‘to ensure your dumbass doesn’t mess it all up.’ And to top it off, you shared a tent.

The two of you were polar opposites as far as you were concerned. He woke you up every morning at the break of dawn, rummaging around loudly as he got ready for the day. You swore he did it on purpose. Usually you didn’t care about clutter, but when you’re forced to share a space with someone you can’t stand it’s like every little sock or shirt on the floor boils your blood.

But what sparked this detestation? It all started years ago, when the two of you were teenagers and you had just been brought into the gang by Dutch. You had only been around three days and most of the camp’s inhabitants came in and out from jobs frequently.

Dutch had asked you to meet him in the local town for a drink, he wanted to discuss your first job with the gang. As you hitched your horse, you noticed a guy around your age leaning against the support beam outside the saloon. Easy pickin’s you thought to yourself. As you passed him; your hand oh so gently entered his pocket, but he turned to you and drew his pistol like lightning.

Shit you thought to yourself as you drew your own, eyes locked on his. There was a tense moment of silence as you faced off, it was ended by Dutch as he rode up and hitched his horse. “Arthur my boy, looks like you’ve already met Y/N.”

Arthur didn’t lower his pistol. “Aw hell Dutch, is this the new blood you was talkin’ about?”

As soon as his eyes shifted towards Dutch, you placed a warning shot at his feet. He jumped back and you gave him a menacing smile. “New blood for you maybe,” you turned to the door to enter the saloon. “But you’ll find yourself dead quickly if you undermine me boy, and don’t you forget that.”

Dutch laughed at the bewildered look on Arthur’s face. He wrapped an arm around Arthur’s shoulders, “what a woman! Come on son, I’ll get you twobmore acquainted over a drink.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I think we’re already more acquainted than I’d like to be.”

“Get over your hurt pride and be nice.” Dutch said quietly as they entered the saloon. The two men approached you, you already had shots down on the table for you, Dutch, and Arthur. Dutch slapped Arthur on the back hard as you looked up at them. “Ah, Y/N lovely as ever. I think Mr. Morgan here would like to apologize to you for gettin’ off on the wrong foot.”

You raised an eyebrow at him and Arthur sputtered and turned to Dutch. “Me apologize? Like hell! She’s the one who tried to rob me! I ain’t apologizin’ for shit.” He crossed his arms defiantly.

“Okay,” You said evenly as you sat up. You snagged the shot glass that was originally for Arthur and knocked it back. “I guess I’ll keep this then.”

Arthur rolled his eyes and slumped in the chair in front of you. “Didn’t want yer damn drink anyways.” He huffed.

Dutch sat beside him, not hiding his amusement at the exchange occurring. He knocked back the shot in front of him. “Thank you, my dear you’re very kind.” Arthur shot him a look. “Now, you have a job you’d like to discuss?”

You nodded, waved over the bartender for more drinks, and leaned in speaking quietly. “Okay so, the plan is....”

That was years ago, but you and Arthur have been on rocky ground at best since then. You could still remember the screaming match the two of you got into when Dutch informed you the two of you would be sharing a tent.

“It’ll teach you two to work and live together...hopefully. You can have your own tents when you learn to get along.” Dutch had said as he walked away. The two of you took Dutch’s word as gospel so you just had to suck it up and deal with it. Needless to say, you were still sharing a tent to this day.

At least with age Arthur became tolerable, and much to your relief, a good bit quieter. When you entered the tent, he was lying on his cot, writing in his journal. He grunted to you as you entered and you threw up your hand in a lazy wave. You plopped down onto the cot, exhausted.

“Haven’t seen you in a few days,” Arthur said quietly. “Started thinkin’ I’d finally lucked out and you got yourself eatten by a bear.” He was hiding his smile behind his journal, teasing you had become one of his favorite pastimes.

“Very funny.” You said keeping your face buried in the pillow.

“Caint hear ya over there, get yer face outta that pillow.”

You sighed and turned your face towards him. “Can you not see I’m tired, Morgan?”

He tore a piece of paper from his journal and started balling it up between his fingers. “Yeah, I can.” Just as your eyes began to flutter closed, he threw the paper ball at you and it hit you right between the eyes. “But I really don’t care.”

Your eyes flew open and your annoyance was building. “You’re lucky I cant feel my legs, or you’d be a deadman.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “You use that threat way too much for me to take it seriously anymore.” He looked at you teasingly, “I think I’m startin’ to grow on ya. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you enjoy my company.”

“I enjoy having a roof over my head and a safe place to stay.” You retorted flatly. “And I don’t think Dutch would be very keen on lettin’ me stick around if I killed you.”

Arthur threw another paper wad at you, “so what you’re saying is your threats are pointless?”

“That’s it!” You lunged across the room and straddled him down under you. Your hands pinned his wrists to the bed. “I swear to God Morgan if you don’t leave me the hell alone, I will end you!” Your eyes met his and he had a strange look in his eye.

“Arthur could you-“ John poked his head into the tent, looked at the two of you and poked his head back out quickly. You heard him laughing. “Never mind, I’ll leave you two at it!”

You looked down and felt an embarrassing amount of heat rise to your cheeks when you realized what sort of position you were in. You jumped off him quickly. “Going so soon?” Arthur teased. “But we were just gettin’ to the good stuff.”

You rolled your eyes and left the tent. “In your dreams, Morgan.”

Arthur stared at the ceiling of the tent and readjusted himself. His mind kept reeling back to the way your body felt up against his, your face inches from his, pinning him hard to the bed. He couldn’t shake these thoughts no matter how hard he tried. You drove him crazy, but not always in a bad way. You were stubborn, arrogant, and always did things your way even if it endangered the plans. In a way you reminded him of himself, the way you always had a witty comeback or the way your lip curled up in disgust when you were angry. What was this feeling? He had decided loathing, but his hardened member was telling him otherwise. He bit his lip and watched the closed flaps. A pair of your dirty underwear was halfway under your bed and he stared at it for a moment before grabbing it. What the hell are you doing? His brain screamed at him. He knew it was wrong, but the thought of your hips pressed down against his groin invaded his mind again. As he sat on the bed, the thought of you returning made him feel conflicted. In all reality, you would be beyond pissed to come back and find him pleasuring himself, a pair of your used bloomers in his hand. But, the thought of you coming back and seeing him sent a shiver down his spine. He imagined your voice turning silky smooth, lust in your eyes as you took his hardened cock in your hands and pumped him slowly. He heard footsteps approaching the tent, he quickly tucked your underwear in his pocket and laid on his stomach. There was a gentle rap against the tent flaps, “decent?” You called from outside the tent.

Arthur rolled his eyes, “not decent!” He called back. His hips rolled against the bed at the sound of your voice.

“Ugh, well get yer self decent, Dutch wants us to go and stake out Caliga Hall. Meet me at the hitching posts when you’re ready.” You called to him, and he listened as your footsteps faded away. Your voice had that annoying belittling tone that he hated and he knew if he wasn’t out there soon, you would drag him out of the tent by his ankles. He sighed heavily and shoved your underwear into his satchel and tried to focus his thoughts so the bulge in his pants would fade away.

He grabbed his hat and left the tent. He approached you and Dutch and as you spotted him, you mounted your horse. Arthur’s gaze landed on your ass as you pulled yourself up. “Get a move on, you lazy ass!” You called to him. Your voice was heavy in annoyance and your impatience was written clearly on your face.

“I’m comin’ goddamn it.” He grumbled. This was what made him so angry towards you, the way you bossed him around and treated him like some grunt around camp made his blood boil. He mounted his horse and Dutch took off first with you right behind him. You shot a smug glance back at him as you rode beside Dutch. The two of you always got competitive when riding, especially with Dutch. There were multiple horse collisions throughout the years due to this rivalry, but his eyes trailed down your back slowly and a term he had heard but never understood floated into his mind, hate fuck. He remembered Micah retell a story around the fire late one night, all the girls had gone to bed so the men were discussing their various sexcapades. Arthur remembered with disgust and confusion as Micah described his experience with a woman he met in a bar. He couldn’t stand her, the way she talked, her voice, her personality, he hated everything about her and he said that’s what made it so good. A couple of the men agreed, it made it easier to get rough and they didn’t feel as bad about one night stands.

Arthur would never admit it, but he really hated one night stands. He only did it once, and it left him feeling empty, even though he never saw her again she burned in his mind for weeks afterwards. He barely knew her but the emotional attachment of being so vulnerable with someone was too overwhelming. Unfortunately being so long between the tender touch of a woman, saying he was sexually frustrated was an understatement. It didn’t help sharing a tent with a woman either. Even though he drove you crazy, you were still comfortable enough with him to change in front of him, you would turn away from him of course and make him swear to close his eyes. He only peeked when he was certain you weren’t looking and he would be lying if he said he had never pleasured himself to the thought of you. He told himself it was just because he lived in such close quarters with you, it’s not like he wanted you. Okay, maybe he wanted your body but did he want you? Your shitty attitude? Your smart mouth? On that he was quite certain he didn’t want.

“So, what’s the plan Dutch?” You asked as you pulled your horse beside Dutch.

“We’re gonna check out the layout of Caliga Hall. The lovely Mrs. Braithwaite has asked us to torch their tobacco fields.”

“Wonderful!” You exclaimed wickedly.

Dutch nodded. “After we stake it out, I want you and Arthur to come back after daylight and burn it to the ground. Right now we’ll be looking for hidden entrances, holes in the guard, any little sliver you can sneak in and out of with minimal alarm.”

You barked a short laugh. “Minimal alarm? I think that’s a bit of an understatement.”

“That’s why you’ll have Arthur, as back up when things get hairy.”

You groaned. “Come on, Dutch! You know I can do this on my own!”

“I know sweetheart, but ya just gotta trust me. And give the guy a break, will ya? He ain’t so bad when ya get used to ‘em.”

You rolled your eyes. Dutch was right and you knew it. Arthur wasn’t the worst man around camp, that’s for sure but it seemed like with every glance between the two of you, this feeling sparked within you, something strong and powerful and for lack of a better word, you went with loathing. Your stomach flipped whenever he said your name, and your heart jumps when he walks into the tent after a long day away from camp. You thought it was hatred, but hatred was reserved for the likes of Micah. Was it anger? It had a burning feeling similar to anger, but without the uncontrollable rage behind it. You decided loathing was a good name for whatever this feeling was, or atleast that’s what you hoped it was.

You slowed your horses and dismounted as you came upon a hill overlooking Caliga Hall. You pulled out your binoculars and laid flat against the ground beside Dutch. Arthur pulled in not far behind you and followed suit.

“Every entrance is guarded, and it looks like they’ve hired some extra muscle.” Arthur whispered.

“If we come in from the west side, there’s a small breach in the fence.” You pointed to the edge of the field and one of the posts in the fence was broken. “I’ll douse the fields, Arthur you keep watch on the hill, bring your rifle and you can snipe them off when I ingnite the fields.”

“No,” Arthur hissed. “I will do the dousing and you can be the watch dog.”

You opened your mouth to argue but Dutch cut you off. “No, you’ll both go down and douse the fields, then one of you will take out the guards while the other starts the fire with that barn over there.” Dutch’s finger pointed, and followed along as he talked. “That’s where they dry and process the tobacco leaves. Then you’ll light up the fields. Arthur, you take out the guards in the fields while Y/N gets the barn burning. Once that barn lights up, you’ll have all their men coming down on you.” Dutch lowered his binoculars and looked at you. “Once they start comin’ you two need to book it the hell outta there. You hear me Y/N? No gettin’ greedy out there. You too, Arthur.”

The two of you nodded in unison and Dutch stood. “Let’s head back to camp. You’ll need the moonshine from the Braithwaites to ignite the fields. See if Sean has any fire bottles you can use. If not, get him to show you how to make them.” He mounted his horse. “You two are my best men, I know you won’t let me down. I’ll see you back at camp.” And he was off, leaving only a cloud of dust.

You stood and extended a hand down to Arthur. He took it and groaned as he stood. “Jesus Arthur, you must be gettin’ old groanin’ about like that.” You teased.

“Yeah, well we’re the same age so if I’m old, so are you.” He mounted his horse. “I’ll catch you at camp later, I’ve got a quick errand to run.”

“Need me to come with?” You asked as you climbed up your horse.

Arthur flushed and tipped his hat down to cover his face. “Jesus what are you, my mama? I can handle this myself.” With a quick pull at the reigns he was off.

“I was just tryin’ to be nice damnit!” You snapped back. You didn’t mean to sound so hostile, but he ignored you. He knew being ignored was a big pet peeve of yours and it made you even angrier knowing he knew that. “I’m gonna kill that man one day.” You grumbled as you led your horse down the trail.

Arthur felt a pang if guilt when he heard the slightest note of hurt when you called after him, but he couldn’t help but panic when you offered to join him. He certainly didn’t want you following him so he made sure to check over his shoulder multiple times as he tore down the trail. When he was certain he was alone, he peeled off the trail and deep into the trees of a small forest that ran along the path. The trees were thick and he made sure he was deep enough to not be disturbed. He unmounted his horse and grabbed his satchel; as he turned away he realized how awkward his horse would make this just dumbly staring at him. With a swift slap to the hindquarters, the horse dashed away towards the main road. He let out a heavy breath as he pulled out your underwear. He allowed himself to think about earlier this morning, you pinning him to his cot. He thought of your bare back between changing shirts. The way that one button down you have is a little too snug over your chest, causing the material to part between buttons. He thought of the way your ass looked in the riding pants you wore today. It didn’t take much to get him hard, he unzipped his trousers and brought your undies to his face. With a deep inhale, he began pumping himself. He was desperately wishing you had followed him.

“Hey Y/N, welcome back!” Lenny called as you hitched your horse. He looked around you, “No Arthur, huh? Did ya finally lose your patience and feed him to the wolves?”

You laughed as you headed towards your tent. “Not this time, unfortunately!”

When you got to your tent, you rummaged through your things until you found the shirt you were looking for. It was darker and a little tighter, better for stealthier missions as the dark fabric didn’t stand out at night and tighter material didn’t make as much noise rustling against your body. The buttons were a bit tight to your chest, but it didn’t matter as long as it did it’s job. After you changed your shirt and got your things together you went out to find Sean. He was sat in front of the fire with a drink in his hand. You came up behind him and grabbed the bottle from his hand quickly. “Oi! What’s the big idea?” He exclaimed as he jumped up.

“I need some fire bottles. How many ya got?” You asked as you handed him back his bottle of whiskey.

He took a quick swig, “I only got two put together right now, I’ll have to make more if you need more than that.”

You nodded. “I’ve been meanin’ to get you to show me how to make those for awhile now, after you.”

You followed him to his tent and he began pulling out the supplies and walked you through the process. It was fairly simple and between the two of you putting them together you had more than enough in no time. Sean helped you carefully load them onto your horse and you thanked him as he left. He threw up a wave as he wandered back to the fire. Just as you began towards your tent you heard the clomping of hooves and turned to see Arthur barreling into camp. He stopped his horse just in front of you and dismounted. “Welcome back.” You greeted him and matched his pace as he walked towards the tent. “How was your errand?”

He eyed you under the brim of his hat, he couldn’t help but notice the exact shirt he had just been thinking of. He cleared his throat. “Fine. Probably could’ve used your help.” He allowed himself a sneaking smile.

You looked at him and rolled your eyes. “Ugh, you’re gonna get yourself killed one day, you know that? Grab me next time.”

He had to hide his blush, “I’ll keep that in mind.” You opened the tent flap and held it open for him as you passed through. “I’ve already got my things together. I’m going to try and get some shut eye. Try not to be too noisy getting your things together for once, okay?”

He rolled his eyes. “No promises.”

You sighed in annoyance as you laid on your side and closed your eyes. “Why do I even bother?” You muttered.

Arthur breathed a laugh and began loading his satchel with supplies. As he was digging his hands found the cotton material of your bloomers and his face went hot. He turned to make sure your eyes were closed and quickly shoved them under his mattress. His eyes trailed back to you, the way you were laying was causing more distress in the buttons over your bust more distress than usual and one had popped undone. He could barely see the skin under the shirt, but that’s all it took and he could feel his pants getting tighter. “Shit.” He breathed. Your eyes opened slightly, “What is it?” You asked in a sleepy voice.

He turned himself away from you. “Nothing, just go back to sleep.”

You groaned and shut your eyes. Arthur sighed and made a promise to himself he wouldn’t look at you for the rest of the night.

It didn’t take long for him to break that promise. After your breathing evened in a deep slumber a small moan escaped your lips and Arthur’s gaze shot to your face faster than he could control. Your lips were just barely parted and your face had softened with sleep. Maybe we could work, he thought. If she was this quiet all the time.

But as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he had slowly begun to find your banter charming, if not just a little bit annoying. He found himself looking at you more often lately, and he also couldn’t help but notice more frequent trips to the woods with you on the forefront of his mind. He shook it off, but it was slowly becoming harder and harder to shake. He didn’t know what his feelings meant and that was what fueled his frustration towards you. But when he looked down on you like this, he could pretend you were just a normal girl and he was a normal guy. He could pretend the two of you weren’t cold hearted killers, but why did he pretend these things? He told himself you were just there, right place right time. You were a sort of place holder for a woman in his life. He only thought of you when touching himself because he had no one else to think of. But that wasn’t entirely true there were plenty of good looking women around camp, so why did he always think of you? Arthur didn’t like the way his thoughts were headed so he pushed the away. He grabbed his journal and headed out of the tent, hoping some drawing would clear his thoughts.

When you woke up, the sun was just beginning to set. You sat up and stretched. “Mornin’.”

Arthur was laying on his cot on the other side of the tent.

You yawned. “Hey.” You grabbed your hat from the night stand. “You ready?”

His hat was sitting on top of his face and his arms were tucked behind his head. Your eyes trailed his muscular arms, he was quite handsome when his mouth was shut. He didn’t remove the hat when he spoke. “Not yet.”

You scoffed. “Don’t tell me you’re getting tired now. You had plenty of time to nap earlier.”

Arthur took the hat from his face and looked out the open tent flaps. “Ain’t dark enough yet.” He paused before putting the hat back over his face. He pointed down at your chest.

You looked down, noticed the button and fixed it. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

You looked around the room, bored. “So,” You began. “What kinda errands were you runnin’ today?”

“None yer business.” He was glad the hat covered his face, he would rather eat shit than let you see him blush.

You groaned. “Ugh, why are you always so difficult?”

“I could ask you the same question.” He responded.

“Damn it Arthur, move that hat I can barely understand what yer sayin’!” You threw your pillow at him and knocked the hat from his face. “Hey! Watch where you throw that thing!” He threw it back at you with a little more force than necessary.

You caught it and rolled your eyes. “You’re such a child. I’m goin’ to see if Pearson’s got dinner ready.”

He sat up, “can you bring me some?”

You gave him a sweet smile. “Eat shit, Arthur.” And you disappeared behind the closed flaps of the tent.

Arthur smiled, couldn’t have said it better myself.

You exited the tent at the perfect time, Pearson had just begun serving dinner. You stood in line patiently and as you turned to sit at the fire with your food you noticed Arthur emerge from the tent and make his way to the dinner line. John plopped down beside you. “Where’s your man?” He teased.

You rolled your eyes. “Ain’t got one, where’s yours?”

“Very funny.” John elbowed you, “don��t act like I didn’t see you and Arthur gettin’ cozy this morning.”

“Pfft, please. I don’t know what yer talkin’ about.” You tried to keep your voice steady and casual.

“I’d believe ya, but yer cheeks are mighty red!” John teased.

“Don’t you got someone else to bother?” You snapped. “What you saw was me about to strangle Arthur from pure annoyance and nothin’ else.” Your tone was more defensive than you intended, why did you care what John thought?

He stood, “Whatever you say.” He turned to leave then stopped. “It’ll happen one day ya know.” And he left before you could respond. You looked down into your stew. You couldn’t figure out why John’s words bothered you so much. They left your stomach in knots. A heavy hand fell on your shoulder.

“You ready?” You nodded up to Arthur and finished the remaining stew in your bowl.

“Let’s do this.”

The sky was now completely black with night, and fate must’ve been on your side as the clouds were covering the moon, leaving very minimal light. The only light around was from the torches of the guards in the field. You and Arthur split, he took the fields on the right, and you the left. You snuck quietly through the fields, draining the big jug of moonshine as you went. As you finished, you headed to the barn. Shit. There was a man standing directly in front of the barn doors. You turned and saw Arthur across the fields. He caught your eye, picked up a small stone and threw it. “Hey, who’s there?” The man trailed off in the direction of the noise and Arthur gave you a thumbs up.

Arthur watched you slip into the barn and he pulled his knife. Four guards were more than easy enough. He quietly snuck up on one after the other, covering their mouths, pulling them down, and sticking them with his knife. The most noise any of them made was a gurgle. After he finished the last guard in the fields, he headed towards the barn.

As you opened the door to the barn, a man turned to you. “H-“ your throwing knife landed between his eyes before he could get the word out. You removed the knife and began dousing the tobacco hanging from the walls and ceiling. After the last drop of moonshine dropped the from jug, you nodded to yourself. You pushed the barn door open and almost ran straight into Arthur. “Good timing. You ready to burn this bitch to the ground?” You whisper, adrenaline already pumping.

Arthur handed you a fire bottle, “I’ll give you the honors.”

“How sweet.” You said as he laid the bottle in your hand.

“Now, as soon as this barn goes up we’re gonna need to-“ Arthur was cut off with an explosion of heat and fire. You were giddy with adrenaline and didn’t even hear him speak. Angry voices were immediately headed towards the barn. With a silent nod to each other you split. Arthur pulled his repeater and you took the bag of fire bottles. You ran threw the fields like a child, throwing fire bottles like a flower girl tosses petals down the aisle of a wedding. The sound of bullets flying and fire blazing was like a symphony to you. In all the chaos you felt most alive.

A cry shook you to the core. You turned and against the light of the flames you saw Arthur fall. Everything went slow motion as his body hit the ground. Your body moved faster than it ever has, tossing bottles at the men closing in on Arthur. It kept them at bay long enough for you to grab Arthur and fling him over your shoulder. “You alive?” You asked. Your voice shook.

“Yeah.” He groaned. “Just took a bullet to the leg.”

You picked up his repeater and whistled for your horse. “Good. Don’t go dyin’ on me just yet.”

You kept as fast a pace as you could, tossing fire bottles behind you as you went. Bullets flew passed you as you hobbled with Arthur on your back. Your horse came flying down to you and you flung Arthur on the back of your horse. He grunted with pain when you threw him down. You grabbed his repeater and turned back to the fire. Men were coming through quickly. You tore through them with deadly accuracy, but they were coming in too fast. You climbed on the horse and dug your spurs in deep. “Come on girl, let’s ride!” You turned and looked down at Arthur. “If you’re still awake down there, whistle for your horse. I’m gonna need to lose your extra weight if you expect to get out of here alive.”

He didn’t say anything, he brought his fingers to his lips and let out a loud whistle. Bullets were whizzing by you and you turned to return the fire. Men fell behind you as you went, but more took their place. Arthur’s horse came quickly andbyou stopped to help him up. You gave him back his repeater and pulled out your pistol. You needed to help Arthur on his horse, but you also needed to shoot the men coming towards you. As you helped him down, you shot wildly, your concentration split. Arthur was losing blood quickly and he was having a hard time keeping his balance. You had one last fire bottle, and if you timed it perfectly, you could take out most of the men in one fell swoop. After Arthur got mounted, you slapped his horse’s rear. “Get outta here, I’ll be right behind you.”

Bullets flew passed you as you stood your ground. 3...2...1...Now! You threw the bottle with perfect precision and it did it’s job. You mounted quickly as the screams of your enemies echoed through the night. It stirred a sick desire in your heart and you felt more alive than you ever had. You rode hard and found Arthur’s horse stopped just up the road. “What the hell are you doin’? You coulda-“ you stopped. “Shit, Arthur!” He was slumped against his horse unconscious. His white horse was stained with the red of his blood and you felt an intense urgency. You tethered his horse to yours and rode a little farther down, a safer distance for camping.

You pulled the horses into a thicket off the trail. You started a fire quickly and pulled Arthur down off his horse. “Damn it, Arthur.” You groaned. “Heavy bastard.” You dropped him to the ground quickly.

“Ow.” He groaned.

“Glad to see you’re still kickin’.” You said, trying to keep your composure.

“I’m surprised you care.” His voice was low and raspy.

“Yeah, me too. First thing we gotta do is get this bullet out, okay?” You handed him a bottle of whiskey. “I’m sorry, this is gonna hurt pretty bad.”

You dug your knife into the bullet wound and he winced and gasped in pain. The sound of his agony caused tears to prick your eyes. “I’m sorry.” You croaked over and over again, until you dug the bullet out.

Arthur was breathing heavily through the pain. “I always thought you liked hurting me.” He took a swig of whiskey then handed it to you. You took a swig and poured it into his wound. “Aughhh! Damn it that hurts!”

“I know, sweetie I know.” Your voice was heavy with concern and it made Arthur’s heart lurch. He had never seen your face contorted in such worry and fear, and over him no less. You never used a pet name for him before either, unless you would consider ‘jackass’ a pet name.

“I know you’re in a lot of pain, but I need to cauterize the wound.” Your eyes were focused on his leg, trying to keep your mind as steady and clear as possible.

“I know, just do what you have to do.” Arthur clenched his jaw and prepared himself for the pain.

You stuck the blade of your knife into the fire and kept it there until it was red hot. “You ready?”

He let out a shaky breath and brought his arm over his face. You inserted the knife into the bullet wound and he thrashed wildly against you, stifling his screams into his arm. You looked up at him and he was biting deep into his forearm. The way the pain twisted his face broke you. Tears fell from your eyes as you twisted the blade, the smell of burning flesh invading your nostrils. It only took him seconds to pass out from the pain, but those seconds were brutal. You checked his pulse after removing the blade and wiped the tears from your face. You took the bandages from your satchel and wrapped his leg carefully.

Your body was shaking all over and you had to choke back the oncoming sobs. You had no idea what had come over you, the sight of Arthur’s body falling to the ground replayed over and over again in your head and it terrified you. But what terrified you more was the realization you didn’t want to be without him. It shook you to the core when you realized you needed him. You wanted to hold his hand and tell him everything was going to be okay. This feeling, does it have a name? You thought it was loathing, but now you’re not sure. He looked so vulnerable resting against a boulder near the fire. You brought the whiskey bottle to your lips and drank deeply. With each gulp of alcohol, you stared at Arthur and contemplated what you were feeling. You always knew he was handsome, that was a given. But was it also a given for you to yearn for him like you did? You found yourself envisioning the way his arms would feel around you and it invoked a deep hunger from within. This new feeling was invading your every thought and you couldn’t escape it. With liquid courage running through your veins your willpower weakened, and you found yourself scooting yourself closer to him. He was still unconscious and you studied his face. His thick beard hid his sharp jawline, but you could see the outline from the light of the flame. Before you could help yourself you found your fingers gently brushing his beard. It was so much softer than you imagined. You looked down at his big hand and picked it up with your bother hand. It was warm and rough, covered in calluses and scars. You put your fingers between his and leaned your head against the boulder. You leaned your head against his shoulder. He was so warm and soft, you nuzzled your face into the crook between his neck and shoulder. You had no idea when sleep took you, but it held you deeply.

Arthur stirred early and the first thing he felt was your even breathing on his collar bone. He opened his eyes and looked down to find you curled into his side, loosely clutching his hand. He winced in pain as he shifted and he remembered the night before. He remembered you taking care of his wounds, and right before he blacked out he could’ve sworn he heard the sound of you crying. Over him though? There was no way. But, you were also curled up in his side clinging to him desperately. He moved slowly, careful not to disturb you. He couldn’t put weight on his leg, so when he tried to stand, he just fell to the ground with a heavy painful thud. “Goddamn it,” He groaned.

The sound of him falling woke you instantly. You sat up quickly and when your eyes fell to him, you had to fight the urge to roll them. You stood, “Damn it, Arthur. I just digged a bullet from your leg, you know better than to try and stand.”

“Yeah,” he groaned as you wrapped your arm under his and helped him up, supporting his weight. “I just didn’t wanna wake ya is all.” You pulled him to his horse and helped him up on his saddle.

“Since when? I thought it was your personal goal every morning to wake me with your incessant noise.” Your voice wasn’t as pointed and antagonizing as usual.

You took down the camp quickly and mounted your horse. “Let’s get you back to home, darlin’.”

Arthur looked up at you in surprise and you looked away. Again with the pet names, plus he could’ve sworn there was a flush of pink across your cheeks. He felt a deep yearning within him, but didn’t fight quite so hard to repress it.

The ride back to camp was silent. The two of you were lost in your own thoughts. Neither of you thought these feelings were loathing but neither of you had a name for what was gripping them so tightly, making their hearts feel light and their stomachs knot when the other looked at them. Maybe this feeling wasn’t loathing, if not what was it?

Part 2

[lunawings]

King of Prism SSS Episode 2 commentary (Yukinojo)

Watched this episode live with you guys at 1am, stream froze right at the ending. That was the tipping point I needed to stay up to watch it again as soon as it was released on Crunchyroll at 3am, with the few folks who stayed in the chat. And of course after all that extended King of Prism woke me up, now look who can’t sleep and is watching it a 3rd time tonight at... 5am... aha ha... ha...... don’t look at me like that I don’t have work until 4pm it’s fine

So like most folks in Japan I experienced this episode as part of a three pack bundled with the prologue and Taiga’s episode, which makes up the theatrical SSS Part 1. 

While the theater experience is great, it’s also kinda bizarre since the tone in this episode is drastically different from the other two. After the dinner scene ends there is no basically cheering until the end of this episode. What can we say! I just kinda fall into a prism coma until the Prism One show when I am suddenly like wha... WHAAA OH YEAH knocking my concert lights on the floor trying to quickly grab them in time and all that. 

But not because this episode is bad or anything. Quite the opposite. It’s just....

Mesmerizing.... 

Anyway.

ITS ABOUT FRIKKIN TIME 

Renjishi is a pretty famous Kabuki show, and I think “Two Lions” is an accepted English translation so I don’t know why they didn’t bother to translate it? 

 This translator couldn’t figure out what to do with the “18″ either... I would definitely be confused why there is so much 18 this and that in this episode if I hadn’t looked it up for my own translations. It’s a reference to a certain collection of best kabuki plays.

And if you’re wondering why Yukinojo is the 7th generation while his father is the 3rd.... well... hell if I know, because that actually not a mistranslation. 

*throws hands in the air* If someone can explain it to me let me know.

In the theaters sometimes people will hold up two red lights and break them apart here and I always want to do it but I ALWAYS FORGET AHHH. My brain just isn’t in cheering mode during this episode. 

Also it took me like eight viewings before I noticed there is a continuity error where Shin’s chopsticks fix themselves ahah.

FACE

(Also someone in the livestream pointed out his earrings. Not sure if we have seen Yu with earrings yet.)

One of the many things that makes SSS so amazing is how much it changes the first two movies. Just when you thought you were done with them, all of a sudden you want to watch them all over again to see them in a new light. While the movies largely follow Shin’s perspective, for the first time we finally get to see things through the perspectives of other characters and it just adds layer upon layer upon layer and it’s just.... ahh..... 

THE PRISM

THE ONE SPECIFIC PRISM

The way the translator phrased this I imagine them all worshiping a giant stone in the back somewhere. ALL HAIL.... THE BRILLIANT PRISM....... 

This line is super weird out of context. When I translate King of Prism stuff I put in “prism jump” just to add context when it’s not there. But that’s.... just.... m...eee..............

This is my favorite damn Kakeru line in SSS and he doesn’t even say anything. 

Eeeeyaah... ....

Taiga is amazing in this scene too. BE TRUE TO YOUR EMOTIONS YOU’RE  RUINING DINNER DAMMIT 

I thought when I paused on this scene I’d be able to read some of these posters but not really. Wonder if these are a reference to Yukinojo getting into Japanese rock like he did during the curry event on Prism Rush? Maybe they just wanted to show he has typical teenage boy stuff in his room too. Also, of course, cameo from Andy! 

A translation I actually liked. This is basically exactly what he says ahha... the old men group of Edel Rose (2nd year high schoolers).

For anyone who read my shitty out of context spoilers during the first weekend and thought I was kidding when I said Kakeru almost got murdered by Yukinojo but he kinda deserved it.

I’m still reeling from how fucking real Kakeru gets here...... damn........

Someone in the livestream pointed this out, but we almost never hear Kakeru call Yukinojo “Tachibana” do we?

I jumped an inch in my seat when I saw this at the midnight showing. It was the moment where I was like holy moly we’re not in Kansas anymore and started to realize exactly what we were getting into in SSS. This is a whole new King of Prism. 

When you watch the episodes all strung together in the theater, the first episode runs at the same pace as the movies (in my mind I kinda of think of it as a shorter 3rd movie in itself), so it’s not until you get about here where things first start to slow and deepen and it’s you realize wow.... this really is an anime now..... 

I thought Nikkanen mentioned this superhero on Prism Rush, but he said Yossha-Man haha. Well they are both parodying the same series. (Yattaman/Yattawan?)

I really like Yukinojo’s grandpa. He just has the best old man voice. 

WHOOOOOOSH

This scene is foreshadowed in the first episode of SSS. While Shin is introducing everyone you see Yukinojo’s mother look down at her wrist. 

So it was kind of weird to be like is that gonna be a thing--OH THATS A THING right after haha. The theater experience is great, but these episodes are probably better paced week-to-week like this instead of in odd chunks the way they show them in theaters. 

I think this was foreshadowed in Pride the Hero too isn’t it? (His hairpin shines when he looks at his Mom?)

Perhaps something more shocking happened in the next scene though.

At least to me anyway. 

So ages ago, maybe first movie era, I was reading a profile of Yu in a magazine. Specifically this one:

It mentioned that Yu wears Bell Rose pajamas. 

And I always remembered that. Because hey that’s pretty hilarious. 

YEARS PASS

King of Prism SSS episode 2.

Yukinojo just had a breakdown 

AND THERE’S YU

IN HIS GODDAMN BELL ROSE PAJAMAS

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Seriously my mouth fucking dropped open when I saw this. If only I was at cheering I really would have shrieked and ruined this serious scene ahah.

AND THEN THERES THIS 

This scene just gives me goosebumps everywhere. Yukinojo’s first prism jump. The way Shin screams. AHHHHHHHH--

This scene actually gives me goosebumps too. It’s such a mood. This whole episode is such a mood. 

Kakeru and Yukinojo really have a lot in common. I understand now why they made such good duo partners on Prism Rush. Not only do they both have a lot of weight on their shoulders from their families, but the both inherited it from their mother’s side. Just like Yukinojo’s father married into kabuki, as we learned in Young of Prism it was Kakeru’s father who married into the Juuouin group. Don’t mind my random fact, I just thought it was super interesting.

So. This line kind of confused me a bit. Because I thought a major theme in this episode was about how Yukinojo couldn’t escape his blood. Yukinojo’s mother made that clear.

But then again Yukinojo’s mother also knew his father had this experience where he learned his fate wasn’t controlled by blood at all. 

Maybe that just served for a reason as to why she can see Yukinojo’s soul is in prism shows? I don’t know. 

I’m also really confused by how differently she treats Yukinojo in this scene compared with the flashback. I’m glad she came around, but I feel like we missed something in between. 

I don’t need to say how awesome Yukinojo’s prism show was. It just keeps building more and more tension as it goes on and just ahhhh....

I was really sad the stream froze before you guys found out Yukinojo beat Shin’s score (in sparking). 

Also I feel super dumb because I said something about Yukinojo being only the second male star to do four jumps in a row. I FORGOT ABOUT HIRO

So Louis -> Hiro -> Yukinojo, the first three male stars to successfully do four consecutive jumps. The top male stars by pure skill. 

So this ending.... is NOT the ending we see in the theater. The song and visuals were all new. (Well except for assets reused from the episode well you know what I mean.)

I’m a bit town about this. On the one hand I was REALLY REALLY REALLY looking forward to hearing 366 Love Diary.... But on the other hand it’s cool that they are doing something so special for the TV showing by having different endings every week. And after all, the CD for 366 Love Diary is coming out literally tomorrow.... but....

Okay so clearly I loved this episode but part of me is just really glad it’s over because next week is TAAAIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA and I cannot fucking wait to share it with you guys. 

(My favorite episode of the show.)

(I don’t even know if I can fit all my thoughts on it in a post how long is the limit on Tumblr srsly)

[misas-biggest-fan]

some detailed thoughts on an LABB movie w a ‘read more’ bc i have A Lot To Say

i want it to be a movie bc i love movies

im also open to the concept of a mini series but a full tv show might be a challenging stretch

animated or live action would both be incredible and both have their unique pros and cons

the whole thing is DISTINCTLY LA

busy streets and palm trees and the Hollywood sign and the shiny, overly false glamour of everything

would really contrast well with Rue Ryuzaki’s disturbing fake-ness

like he’s just as fake as the whole city, that both he and Hollywood have on this costume to hide tragedy and hideous deeds

i want it to have the glitz and glam and extravagance of the recent gatsby movie (which i adore, dont come for me)

if bahz luhrmann doesn’t direct i will RIOT id die for bahz luhrmann he’s Good and he has the same energy and chaotic attitude of beyond birthday himself

i want beyond to have a scene like the one where Nick realizes who Gatsby is and Gatsby turns around with the champagne flute and the fireworks go off in slow motion as he smiles that’s my favorite shot in all of cinematic history no joke

it’s HIGHLY STYLIZED. i want bright colors and weird aesthetic choices

I also want some shockingly beautiful frames of LA and surprisingly sophisicated shots of Beyonds face lit up in different neon colors or something

Indie enough to be weird and fun but pop enough to be easily digestible

it opens with mello writing his book (like moulin rouge!! a;lsdjfk)

his burn scars are just healing and he knows he’ll die soon so he has to write down all his important memories, leave something behind

he wants to write down something important to him, something that he can leave for Near, something that might put his own life and actions into context

something that might help other people understand who he was more

so of course, he thinks of beyond

who he respects and admires and pities

who has such a similar and yet different story from Mello’s own

so maybe in understanding beyond and understanding how mello feels about beyond

people will understand mello

near will understand mello

so mello gets to work detailing this story his incredible mentor L once told him, describing this beautiful memory he has of meeting with and talking to L and how L told him about Beyond

(in this scene, you don’t SEE L. you just get an idea of what he looks like, flashes and shots, so that the audience can know L well enough to still wonder about the identity Rue Ryuzaki throughout the movie)

and then of course, we dive into the story

Beyond is OVER THE TOP. he’s more than unsettling, he’s downright terrifying. but he’s still somehow intriguing and even charming at times, like he can turn the smoulder on and off at will. 

Hes a disaster nb, a fabulous hodgepodge of discarded gender roles and impressive makeup skills

Him practicing his evil laugh and trying so desperately to be this comic villain didjdjdje hes such a loser i love him that scene NEEDS to make an appearance

he and naomi’s chemistry is incredible to watch on screen because beyond dominates any scene he’s in unless naomi is there to challenge him because her acting is also so powerful that when they’re on screen together, it’s like you can’t tear your eyes away from this insane car wreck that is their relationship

and NAOMI

a;lksdfj;dlkfj naomi misora <3 <3 <3 <3 ok im ready

so naomi is also a powerful presence on screen, even though she’s not crawling on the ground or eating with her hands or you know whatever ridiculous garbage beyond is doing

more time is spent on her

her disastrous relationship with raye

her feelings over her suspension from the FBI

and really play up the whole jessica jones thing she’s got going on

i want black leather for DAYS

I want “gritty LA detective who’s on suspension from the FBI because she doesn’t play by the rules” or whatever except it’s a twist because not only is she not a man, like this trope usually calls for, but it turns out she was suspended because of her tenderness and humanity instead of her brutality

she still needs to have MULTIPLE fight scenes, a few with beyond and maybe even a few with other attackers, who she absolutely mops the floor with

but then she and beyond have a scene where they fight against someone together

he’s not a good fighter. she mostly has to save his butt every time but he’s just happy to be there and probably keeps saying stuff like ‘wow misora you’re amazing!’ and she’s like ‘?!?! ryuzaki you loser?1?! run?!?’

and of course, there’s enough twists and changes from the book to keep everyone on their toes, but GOOD changes

like maybe we go back to mello a few times and he has more of his own subplot where his relationship to near is revealed more fully, that he wants near to understand him and he wants to reach out to near emotionally in this way

contrast mello’s story with beyond’s so when we learn beyond’s full story at the end, he and mello are revealed to be foils of each other

we get shots of wammy’s house and we see a and beyond interact and we see beyond’s life-destroying grief over a’s death

we get contrasting shots of wammy’s with mello and near and we’re allowed to hope that maybe they can be happier

A and beyond become something of a subplot leading up to as death but you dont entirely realize who beyond is until the big reveal at the end

maybe beyond does some more unsettling things that are just as creepy and in-character but are a terrible surprise for those who’ve already read the book!! i can’t imagine what other horrific thing he could do to scare naomi, but there’s got to be something

i’m rly into bday massacre bc i love naomi and beyond’s rly twisted relationship so i’d love to see more of him being in awe of her, more of them connecting, more of beyond opening up to her even. maybe she tells him a little bit about her suspension. just a little.

also if we could like clean up some of the plot holes in this joint pls and thank you

id even be ok if it’s insinuated that he self-sabotaged a little, on a conscious level or not, bc i feel like that wouldn’t be tooooooo ooc i mean, he’s a hot mess. most of this is just a really twisted cry for help anyway, at least in my interpretation. he wants people to realize he’s suffering. he just… can’t do it in a normal or healthy way :/

beyond pls a;lkdfj

Anyway. Theres also a boppin soundtrack

Fire is a big motif. Maybe make a connection between wildfires in CA and beyond using this case to self-destruct

A little more closure at the end. Thats part of the drive behind my bday massacre fanfic rn is that i feel like he and naomi never got any real closure on the traumatizing, like, week or two they spent together

I also want more closure on naomi as a character arc. I want her to dump rayes sorry butt and i want her to have had some sort of real internal change. None of this “she picks up her life where she left off and never thinks abt beyond again”

Of course, L is revealed and has his glorious little spill down the concrete subway stairs. Its What He Deserves :)

And of course we have to make the obvious contrast between both beyond and mello having survived serious burn injuries its just another thing that makes them such interestingly comparable characters

If Naomi visits Beyond in prison to say goodbye, i wouldnt be opposed. If they made my fanfiction into a movie i wouldnt be opposed

Mello prints out his book in the mafia hideout, his arms folded and waiting as paper after paper comes out, just begging any of these mafia dudes to mock him for liking to write. None of them do. Its a funny moment tho

He debates sending it to near, feeling so awkward and prideful, but he finally does it, leaving instructions for it to reach near after his death.

In the end, naomi and beyond are revealed to be dead at the same time as near receives the package from his dear mello

Naomi and beyond were doomed, and so were beyond and a, but now… near has mellos last love letter to him, cryptically begging him to try to understand. And so theres hope that although the rest of these relationships were doomed, maybe near can still have one piece of mello and be happy

[dreamss-of-boston]

Rise - ch1

Sonya Romanova of the Underground is brought to the surface on the condition that she join and serve the Survey Corps. As she comes to grips with what the surface world is actually like compared to her dreamy fantasies, she finds herself becoming more and more enamored with the stoic Captain Levi.

---

hello i suck at summaries like everybody else in the world but this is gonna be a pretty slow burn,, i haven't written fic in a while and i really wanna try and explore the world of the underground and the corps throughout this fic. if theres too much exposition i understand and im sorry and i promise things will pick up lmfao. if y'all want smut lmk cuz im down to write it but i gotta know if other ppl are interested in that kind of thing. ok sweet thanks for reading love you bye

-the start-

link on AO3! https://archiveofourown.org/works/16998978/chapters/39961167

“Your name is Romanova—don’t ever forget that.” Maria stopped, and coughed out the drag she had just taken from her cigarette.

Sonya grated the clothes against the washboard, focusing only on the bubbles sloshing in the water.

“Yes, mother.”

“I don’t know who the hell your father was, but who gives a damn? He never did a thing for you.” Maria took another drag. She coughed. “When did smoking become so tiresome? Sonya, darling, get me something to drink.”

Sonya knew that getting something to drink did not mean water or tea, but any assortment of alcohol stashed within the house behind her. She dropped the clothes into the soapy bucket, dried her hands on her apron, and turned to venture inside the kitchen.

Brothels had kitchens—and bathrooms, and a backyard, and balconies, and of course bedrooms. Today, Sonya was seventeen, and her mother couldn’t hold onto her any longer.

“Don’t look so stressed, sweetie.” One of the girls, Herschel, rubbed a soothing hand on Sonya’s slender back. Herschel was voluptuous to say the least: beautiful black hair cascading in curls down her back, soft, thin lips which held a deep, sensual voice within. Suffice it to say, she was very good at her job. Sonya, on the other hand, was quite small—smaller than normal seventeen-year-old girls. Unfortunately, she was gorgeous. Her eyes a golden green, chestnut brown and curly hair, and lips and cheeks so rosy it was hard to believe she’d never seen sunlight. The girls had already been cooing and teasing about how she was soon to become a number one item on the menu. Yes, Genie’s Palace was the best in the Underground—sometimes people from the surface would even venture down there to get a taste of the deprived and sensual ladies of the brothel.

“We’ll give you one of our regulars first—he’s real gentle.” Herschel was folding napkins: a necessary staple for hygiene in every room. Sonya looked down at her silk night-gown her mother had suggested she wear in order to lure in as many customers as possible. She crossed her arms.

“I’m cold.” She said—Herschel laughed.

“You’ll heat up soon enough. The first time don’t hurt as much as they say, honest!” Herschel gave Sonya’s arm a gentle squeeze. “And they usually finish up quick anyways.”

Sonya didn’t say anything—she just poured her mother a glass of vodka and hurried out of the kitchen.

She dropped the glass off at the small side-table her mother sat next to.

“Mother, I’m going to go for a walk. Is that alright?” Sonya asked quietly.

“Oh, alright. Just don’t take too long—you need to wash up properly before you get your first one.” Maria took a sip, and seemed somewhat relieved from the bitter drink.

Sonya drew her lips into a tight line, and grabbed her black coat from her chair. She pulled it on as she exited onto the lamp-lit street, feeling a little more like herself as she left the brothel behind and had something covering her shoulders.

Banners and tables lined the street; it was a strange sight, to say the least. She furrowed her eyebrows, looking closely at the insignias of the banners: a white and a blue wing, crossed over each other guarding a shield. This was foreign to Sonya—she’d never seen actual Survey Corps members in the Underground. It was almost always MPs, or the occasional Garrison soldier who could dare to afford a girl from Genie’s.

“Ah, Sonya!” A familiar voice caught Sonya’s attention, and she turned with dismay to find one of Herschel’s regulars approaching her with a signature swagger. He was called Kurt, a high-ranking officer of the MPs, and a disillusioned asshole. He actually believed what he paid Herschel to tell him, and as a result, had never been able to sleep with a woman for free. “I thought I recognized you. What are you doing out here? I thought today was the first day you started.” He looked her up and down, very obviously. “I knew you were worth more than just a cocktail waitress.”

“What are all these banners for?” Sonya nodded to the Survey Corps members, standing behind tables with clipboards and interacting with the people of the Underground.

“Oh, the Survey Corps just lost a couple hundred of their own recently on one of their foolish expeditions.” He rolled his eyes. “Now they’re trying to lure these poor suckers in for a chance to live up top.”

“What? Seriously?” Sonya tensed up.

“I know—ridiculous, really, who would ever want to join the Survey Corps?”

“No, I mean—you can live up there if you join?”

“Oh, darling.” Kurt smiled sympathetically. “You wouldn’t want to live up top—it’s just more of the same.”

“But there’s sunlight. And fresh air.” She paused. “I want to know what the rain smells like.”

Sonya had been staring at the booth for a while—there stood behind it a tall, stoic man speaking quietly with a woman with dark hair and glasses, and a shorter man with black hair. The woman with glasses seemed to notice Sonya, and she turned to her with a smile. Sonya, taken off guard by her blatant kindness, smiled shyly back.

Before she knew it, the woman had begun to make her way towards Sonya and Kurt just as he was attempting to whisk her off her feet by suggesting they go somewhere a bit more private so he could wish her a proper happy birthday.

“Pardon the interruption, Kurt!” The woman said brightly. “I know you’re down here a lot, so I’m sure this local won’t mind!”

“Wh-where did you hear that?” Kurt seemed very flustered, and Sonya had to hide a laugh.

“Oh, around!” The woman maintained her smile, and turned to focus on Sonya. “Hello. My name is Captain Hange Zoe—I’m one of the officers part of the Survey Corps.” She extended her hand to shake.

“Oh—hello.” Sonya shook her hand, amused by Captain Zoe’s remark to Kurt. “I’m Sonya Romanova.”

“Good to meet you!” Captain Zoe gestured to the table behind her, rife with clipboards and other soldiers of the Corps. “We’re recruiting people to become soldiers in the Survey Corps. Our mission is to venture into the outside world, beyond the walls, and attempt to understand why we are enclosed within these walls, what the titans are exactly, and how we can break our way free.” She stood with her hands on her hips, proud of herself. “Interested?”

“Well—” Sonya paused. “How far have you gotten?”

“Huh?”

“How many titans have you killed? Are we any closer to finding out the truth?”

Captain Zoe pondered the question, studying Sonya for a moment. “We’ve gotten a little closer—every time, we’ve made some kind of progress.” She nodded. “Asking questions like that, though—that is the true mark of someone who would make an excellent Survey Corps soldier.”

“And I could live up there?” Sonya asked eagerly—Kurt groaned in annoyance.

“Yes, of course!” Captain Zoe grabbed a clipboard off of the table. She practically shoved the pen into Sonya’s hands. She eagerly began to sign her name on one of the numbered slots, when a voice from the other side of the table gave her pause.

“You can only live up there if you make it past training.” It was the short, dark-haired man. He was almost glaring at Sonya—she was taken aback. “We won’t keep you if you’re useless.”

Sonya glanced at Kurt—a potential customer if she stayed where she was. She looked back at the clipboard, and pointedly signed her name. She looked back at the dark-haired man.

“Then I won’t be useless.”

[-]

“I won't be useless.”

That was what Sonya had vowed the day she signed up for the corps five years ago.

And today, standing at salute in front of Commander Erwin, she knew at her core that she had made the right decision. Her heart swelled with pride as she stood among her fellow soldiers, listening to the impassioned speech Erwin was delivering.

“Soldiers.” He called, gazing down on the crowd with pride. The flickering torches surrounding the soldiers and the stage cast a soft, almost theatrical effect that entranced Sonya and vaguely reminded her of the Underground.

The Underground. Her previous hell-- right after she had signed up, Sonya fled from her home without even going back to pack anything. She had asked Hange Zoe-- or maybe begged her-- if she could take refuge with her for the time being, before she was brought up to the surface to join the corps. Hange hesitated at first, but Sonya explained her situation, rife with embarrassment, and then Hange understood. She even let Sonya stay with her in the little hotel provided for soldiers stationed in the Underground. Unfortunately for her, that hotel was rife with MPs who were frequent customers of Genie's Palace. For the three days Sonya was there, they would sneer and jeer at her, offering her money to spend the night with them, and a few even touched her when she would walk past in the dimly lit hallways.

But that was behind her-- she had escaped, clawed her way through training, and somehow she was standing here.

She had just barely made it into the top ten-- if she was a normal recruit, she would be able to join the other nine soldiers in the interior, but even if she wasn't already destined to join the Corps, she would have died before joining the MPs.

Sonya glanced at Captain Levi-- he stood next to Erwin, looking rather bored and pained to be there. Now that Erwin was Commander, he had allowed Levi to form his own squad of handpicked elite soldiers. She wanted desperately to become part of that squad-- if only to prove to herself that she could, but also to prove to Captain Levi. He was the one who had cautioned her not to be useless all those years ago. And now, she had made it into the top ten, and left the Underground far behind.

Sonya had heard that in three days, the Commander would be leading her generation of Cadets on their first expedition. She knew that she should have been terrified of the prospect of meeting Titans face to face, but a part of her was indescribably excited. Sonya had loved every second of being on the surface, of feeling the sunlight and the moonlight, of tasting fresh air and hearing birds outside her window every morning. While her fellow recruits despised waking up early, Sonya was grateful that there was a sun to designate time. In the Underground, there was one clock which everyone simply had to trust-- and even then, nobody really cared what time it was. Only she and two other people from the Underground had made it past training-- the others who had signed up were too malnourished to build any muscle or stamina, and so were sent back to the depths. Sonya Romanova, Peter Wagner, and Anna Weber were the only ones standing among the recruits born on the surface.

As Commander Erwin pontificated, Sonya’s mind wandered, entertaining the thoughts of killing titans with her new friends, staying up late and talking about life with them in the cramped living quarters of HQ… she even thought of when she might-- in her wildest dreams-- be invited to join Squad Levi. She smiled dreamily at him, and when Commander Erwin finished his speech, those who did not wish to join the Survey Corps left, leaving only Sonya and about a hundred more soldiers standing at attention.

“Welcome to the Survey Corps.” Commander Erwin smiled, and Sonya and her compatriots cheered.

[-]

Two days came and went in a flash-- mostly, the new recruits were told to do chores which the veterans were too lazy to do, involving cleaning the stables, changing bed linens, mopping the floors and such. Whenever Captain Levi deigned to speak to the new recruits, he would make bitter remarks about how their cleaning was subpar, and if he was in an especially bad mood, he would sentence them to even harsher cleaning duties.

One such day, Sonya was subject to said punishments.

“Your cleaning is atrocious, Romanova.” Levi scoffed at her as she was cleaning the windows lining one of the expansive hallways of HQ.

“Apologies, sir.” Sonya said dutifully, although in her opinion her cleaning was exceptional.

“Honestly, if a soldier can't clean a window properly…” He muttered, and turned to leave.

Against Sonya's better judgment-- perhaps it was exhaustion making her particularly feisty-- she made a smart-ass remark.

“I must not be using the proper cleaning solution, sir.” She stood at salute. “Want me to spit on it?”

That had landed her a full days work cleaning the stables-- alone. Sonya had to admit, though, it was a little worth it to see the look of absolute disdain he had when she spoke up.

Being above ground, Sonya had found a new sense of confidence. Underground, she was used to being ogled at by slimy men in dimly lit rooms, but above ground, people were generally nicer, and she got compliments quite often, which caused her self esteem to sky-rocket.

Granted, those compliments were usually geared solely towards her appearance rather than her actual performance in training, but she took what she could get.

Over the course of her five years on the surface, she had grown much closer to Peter and Anna. Peter was quite a tall, handsome man with sharp features and spiky red hair. His family owned and operated one of the few taverns in the Underground, so he had come from what Sonya considered the upper middle class. He was the type of person to tell stories of his daily life as if they were comedic performances-- sometimes people were entertained, but the tired soldiers usually got annoyed by Peter’s seemingly constant energy.

Anna, on the other hand, was quite stoic, and shared very few words with anyone who wasn’t Peter or Sonya. Anna had come from the streets-- her parents had died before she really knew them, and by the time she was six years old, her aunt had abandoned her in a drunken haze, and Anna never saw her again. Sonya had thought that Anna would never make it past training, but she persevered and was now standing about in the stables while Sonya raked away at the hay.

“You’re so stupid.” Anna remarked.

“I’m stupid a lot-- be more specific?” Sonya grinned.

“What you said to Captain Levi: ‘should I spit on it?’ Honestly, what did you think was going to happen?”

“I thought maybe he’d get down on one knee and say, ‘Oh, Sonya! You’re so funny and strong! Join my squad!’” Sonya even added the theatrical gesture of getting down on one knee in front of Anna. That earned a shy smile from the black-haired girl.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Peter.” She said. “I think he likes you, by the way.”

Sonya rolled her eyes. “Peter’s probably the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”

“He told me he wants to join Levi’s squad, too.”

“What?” Sonya threw her rake down in disgust. “That bastard’s just trying to copy me!”

“Maybe he’s trying to get your attention… or he’s trying to protect you!” Anna clasped her hand over her heart. “How romantic! It makes sense-- Levi’s Squad seem to always be put in the most dangerous positions.”

“Well, given my recent stunt today, I think my chances of getting in are pretty slim.” Sonya admitted. “I don’t think the Captain likes me very much-- I always smile and say good morning to him and all that, but he never even gives me the time of day except to make me do more chores.”

Anna shrugged. “Captain Levi’s just like that.”

“Maybe.” Sonya tossed the last bale of hay onto the compost heap, and sat down on a bench with a sigh. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

Anna nodded. Whenever Anna was nervous, she hardly spoke about what was truly on her mind. Sonya tended to talk too much-- they were a perfect fit.

“Me, too. I’m just hoping…”

“We’ll make it back alive?” Anna said with a wry smile.

Sonya let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah.”

The two girls sat in silence for a moment, allowing the sounds of the world to take over their conversation: the wind rustled the trees around the perimeter of HQ, wooden carts puttering over cobblestoned streets in the city outside-- Sonya leaned her head back with a smile.

“I’m never gonna get tired of life up here.”

Anna smiled back. That was the main thing they could relate to-- how awful their lives were down there. Anna especially spent every minute that she could outdoors-- she had even taken up woodworking, and had whittled a few little figurines as of late in her free time.

“Hey.” Anna said-- Sonya looked over to her. “If things get bad out there… I’ve got your back.”

Sonya nodded solemnly. “I’ve got your back, too.”

[-]

“Beautiful day to kill some titans!”

Peter Wagner adjusted the saddle on his horse, and glanced around with a smile to see if anyone would notice his remark.

“Shut up, Peter.” Sonya mounted her horse, patting his neck gently. Another thing she loved about being on the surface was the abundance of non-rabid animals-- she was assigned a horse at the beginning of her training, and this guy had stuck with her through thick and thin. She had named him Chuck.

“What, don’t tell me you’re scared, Romanova?” Peter grinned, mounting his own horse in turn.

“Of course I’m scared-- anyone who isn’t is stupid.”

Peter scoffed. “Anyone who’s scared probably didn’t train enough.”

“Hey, are you finished bickering over there?” Anna called from her section in the formation-- the Corps were currently arranging themselves in their planned positions they would fall into once the gate opened. Sonya, Anna, and Peter had all been placed in the same section-- near the back, but not too far towards the outer area that dealt with all or most of the titans.

Sonya and Peter trotted over to join Anna, and Sonya flashed Anna a reassuring smile. She was incredibly tense on her horse, gripping the reins like her life depended on it.

“All troops, move out!” Commander Erwin called from the very front of the formation, and the gate was lifted, and off they went.

[themushroomfriend]

The Servant

Michael Langdon x Reader

WARNINGS JUST IN CASE:

some language, a little dominance thing going on but nothing serious, umm. Theres sex so watch out for that :P

Dis some smut. But i got carried away so it takes a while to get to the actual smut. My bad. Just feels so rushed and not authentic in any way when it goes straight to the sex. I’m just making an atmosphere man. Anyway, enjoy weirdos.

~

You had been sitting in this chair for what seemed like eternity. Langdon had asked for you specifically. You knew why, but you didn’t want to admit that he may know.

You hadn’t been in the bunker nearly as long as everyone else. In fact, Michael had found you outside, in the ashes that remained of the planet. He found you, unharmed, no disease, and perfectly healthy, save for the fact that you looked like a skeleton. The fact of the matter was that you had survived the apocalypse. You weren’t effected by the radiation. You knew why, but he didn’t. Or at least you thought so, until now. 

You were by no means a witch. You did, however, belong to a family of them. The only thing you inherited from the long line of witches was immunity. But, you had no idea of this ability until the apocalypse began. It wasn’t triggered until something seriously harmful had entered your system. 

So, here you sat, in this creaky wooden chair, nervously tapping your foot against the floor. You didn’t know much about Michael, but you did know he was dangerous. He wasn’t what he said he was. You could feel in your bones he was something different. And you didn’t know why, but you felt that if he knew your lineage, you would be in danger.

Finally, the door opens, revealing Michael. You look up at him, and stand.

“You wanted to see me?” You ask, smoothing out your skirt. 

“Come in.” He replies, his tone mischievous. He has a twinkle in his eye. He has something planned.

You follow him into his office, closing the door behind you. He sits at his desk, gesturing for you to sit as well. Hesitantly, you come and sit in front of him.

“I assume you know why I’ve called for you.” He breathes out, folding his hands together. You fail to give an answer, which is all he really needs. He smirks, leaning back in his chair. 

“Are you a witch?” He asks, his eyes burning a hole into the back of your skull.

“No.” You say truthfully. 

“Then how did you survive the radiation?” He inquires, leaning forward. 

“I... my mother put a protection spell on me.” You lie. You aren’t sure why you did, but you feel that him knowing your natural born gift could put you in danger.

“You’re lying, y/n.” He growls, standing abruptly. You flinch a little, surprised at his sudden movement. He’s leaning over his desk, looking down at you. 

“I won’t kill you. I know you come from a witch family. I will spare you, but only on one condition.” He demands, his voice commanding and dark. Your lack of response presses him to tell you.

“You will do whatever I say, whatever I want, whenever, however I please or demand. You will be here any time I call for you. If you accept this, I will assure your safety here. If not, I’ll have you killed. Either one is suitable for me so I suggest you pick wisely.” He says, sitting back down in his chair.

You are practically speechless. Be his servant or die. You sure as hell didn’t want to be his servant, but you also knew you weren’t ready to die. You suppose, it doesn’t really matter. Being his slave would be humiliating, but... at least you’ll live. And maybe it won’t be so bad. 

“...Alright. If that’s all you want.” You reply. In all honesty you expected a bigger request. You were a servant already, except it was for a group of people instead of an individual. All he does is smirk at your remark.

“You are moving to the bedchamber closest to mine effective immediately. Move your belongings in there and I will call for you when I need you.” He orders, dismissing you as if you were an after thought. You hold in your pride as you stand and leave, shutting the door behind you.

As soon as you are alone again you breathe out, not realizing that you had practically been holding your breath the entire time. You were surprised at his request. It seemed so small compared to what you expected from him. His goal had to be to demean you, devalue you. He knew you came from a line of witches, but you weren’t one yourself. Maybe that had something to do with it. Things could be different if you were born with the full gift. 

You rushed down to your small room, gathering what few belongings you had. Everything you owned could be put into a single box, since most of everything had been thrown away in fear of contamination upon you entering the bunker. Your possessions included a few family photos, dried sage, your small pouch of enchanted stones, a journal, and a small metal pin in the shape of a thistle. 

You gathered these together in a small box, made your bed, and headed back upstairs to find the new room. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous about everything. Michael was very intimidating. Handsome, yes. But scary. Being close to him was more than passing your comfort zone. The more you thought about it, the more anxious you felt.

You would have to make his bed every day, set his clothes for him, clean his bedroom, everything that had to do with his room was something you had to deal with. It was just too intimate. Someones bedroom is theirs alone, and it felt like intruding. Not to mention the fact that it was his of all peoples. He will probably make messes on purpose just to make you clean it up. You could see that smug look on his face already, staring you down while you cleaned up after him like a child. 

You turned the corner, finding the secluded hallway that belonged to Michael Langdon. Taking a deep breath, you walked down to the very end, seeing one door leading to his room, and one not too far to the right. That must be the room. You opened the door to see a bedroom slightly bigger than your old one, and much nicer at that. The sheets were softer, and colored green. The furniture was much prettier as well, with pretty designs cut into the cedar wood. The room was more than you expected.

You sat your belongings down, feeling the soft fabric of the blankets of the bed. The mattress was much softer as well. You felt like you had been living in the medieval era and just found royalty. You laughed to yourself, almost forgetting the circumstances you were under. 

“It is almost time for supper. Bring me my meal. I will be in my bedroom.” You hear from the doorway. You turn around, startled by the sudden intrusion. Michael stood in your doorway, seemingly towering above you. Collecting your thoughts, you nod.

“Yes sir.” Is all you say as he turns away, not giving you a second glance. Okay, not a bad start. Just bringing him dinner.

You pull back your hair, pinning it to stay out of your face as you head downstairs into the kitchen, trying to calm your nerves. You saw no cooks, but there was a silver platter on the marble counter top. You peaked inside, seeing a full meal lying there. The smell invaded your nose as you saw a steak with vegetables and potato. This is what he’s been eating this entire time? While you ate little cubes of nothing? You wanted to be furious, but what did you expect? The leader of the Cooperative, the representative, eating the same thing as everyone else? Doubt it. 

Sighing, you take the platter and walk back upstairs, careful not to trip. Luckily the dress wasn’t long enough to make you fall.

As you reached the bedroom door, you heard him say “Come in.” before you had knocked. Shrugging it off, you turned the knob and entered, seeing him sitting at a desk at the left. His room was much larger than yours, and fit for a king. you thought your room felt nice, until you saw his. 

Without saying anything, you brought him his plate, sitting it in front of him. He doesn’t look at you once before eating. You turn to leave, but he tells you to stop.

“You will prepare my bath while I eat. Make the water as hot as possible.” He commands. Though you feel slightly hungry, and the smell of the steak is swirling in your head, you oblige anyway. You walk into his bathroom, dumbfounded at it’s beautiful design. Everything was sleek and black, with hints of white here and there. The tub was massive as well, and could easily fit two people. 

You turned the hot water on all the way, until it began to steam and almost boil. You sat at the edge of the tub, waiting for it to fill, when you saw him enter the bathroom. He wasn’t wearing the coat he usually had on, just wearing a black button up shirt and pants. His hair flowed past his shoulders in an almost angelic way. He looked so perfect, but he was ugly. 

“Undress me.” He says casually, with that look in his eye again. That slight smirk. That confident, smug face. You didn’t know how to feel about it. You wanted to punch him but kiss him at the same time. He’s playing games because he knows he can.

You squint at him, unsure why he can’t do it himself. You were definitely embarrassed, you could feel your cheeks getting warm, your pulse quickening. He stood there patiently, expecting you to follow his order. Fine. If you really want to be that way... You think as you stand up and walk to him. 

He’s eyeing you as you reach for the first button of his shirt, then the second, and third. You don’t make eye contact with him, just trying to focus on the buttons and not his burning skin. You reach the last button, and push the fabric over his wide shoulders, grazing his arms as you remove it completely. The contact of your hands on his arms felt almost like a trance. It had been so long since you had any sort of human contact., whether that be sexual or just a friendly hug. You glanced at his body, and yes it was perfect. Just like his damn face. 

You picked up the shirt and folded it, sitting it on the counter. You looked up at him briefly, seeing that he was staring you down. You visibly blush, turning your attention to his pants so you don’t have to look at him. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction he was obviously searching for. You quickly undid his belt, taking it off his waist, and unbuttoning his pants, his zipper...

And you could feel his bulge. His half hard bulge. Was he enjoying telling you what to do? You almost pulled away in anger, but decided against it. Taking a deep breath, you pulled his pants down, but leaving his underwear.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. Underwear too.” He says before you can leave. “Are you enjoying yourself?” You finally blurt. You immediately regret you sarcastic tone, covering your mouth. He smiles down at you, grabbing onto your shoulder, beckoning you to get back to your knees. 

“Yes I am.” Is all he says, as you feel his hand glide into your hair. Your heart is racing, it’s a power play. That’s all he’s doing. He must get off on it. Though his touch is distracting, and enticing, you swat his hand away. 

“If you want me then you need to try harder than that. You can’t win me over that easily.” You say, though you still pull his underwear to his ankles. He’s hard, for sure. And very attractive. 

“So you admit you want me.” He suggests, trying to gain control again. 

“You’re the one who’s trying to convince me.” You reply, stepping away from him and turning off the water. He smirks at you, naked and wanting. You refuse to look down, as much as you want to. The need to win the argument was slightly stronger than the need for sex. 

He doesn’t answer, but walks past you and steps into the tub. After he’s settled, he looks up at you. 

“I want you to join me.” He says, bringing his arms to rest at the back of the large porcelain tub. He leans his head back, exposing his neck and wet skin. You aren’t sure if this an order, or a request. 

“Do I have a choice?” You ask, your voice low. 

“I don’t know, do you?” He responds, his eyes closed now. 

You decide to just go for it. Why the hell not? You take the pins out of your hair, remove your white apron, and unbutton your grey dress. He doesn’t open his eyes, just lays there smirking. He’s so smug, the asshole. You remove everything until your naked, and you step into the tub. The water is indeed burning, and you wince slightly as you slip in. Your heart is racing, seeing him like this, and the fact that you gave in irritates you. 

After you’ve settled into the tub, he opens his eyes and looks at you. He has no shame in looking at your body, and you can see his member twitch a little. He sits up, and reaches for your waist, pulling you towards him. 

“Mr. Langdon, what are you-” You start, but are interrupted with a rough kiss. He tastes so sweet, you don’t understand it. Like the smell of a flower dipped in honey. His arms are caressing your sides, pulling your hips to his in silent command. You can feel his penis slightly caress your clit as your legs rest at either side of him. You jump at the sudden contact, and he grasps your back, beckoning you back down to him. His hand slips between your folds, lightly stimulating your clit and entrance, wasting no time in pleasing you. 

You let out an involuntary moan, leaning your head against his shoulder. As his finger rubs against you faster and faster, his lips find your neck, nibbling at your skin. He begins to suck, and you can feel an inevitable hickey forming. You grasp at his arm, feeling the old but familiar burning pleasure rise in your clit.

You can’t help but moan in his ear as he drives you closer and closer. His other hand snakes its way to your ass, smacking it hard enough to launch you forward. You gasp at the sudden sensation, but he gives you no time to recover before smacking you again, and slipping his finger inside you. 

“Michael!” You exclaim between heated breathes. He only goes faster in response, and you can feel your wetness begin to drip down his hand. His hand decides to leave your rear, finding its way to your neck instead. He pushes you away slightly so he can see your face as he drives you to orgasm. His eyes are wild, hair damp, drops of water decorating his heaving chest. The sight of him alone sends you over the edge as you climax in his hand. 

“That’s it, cum for me y/n.” He says confidently. You grasp at his hair instinctively, pulling it as you ride your climax out. You hear him moan a little as you ball his hair in your fist, your hips grinding against his finger, beckoning him to go deeper. 

Just as you’ve come down from your climax, he picks you up from the tub, carrying you to his bedroom. He’s still hard, and he wants something in return. He lays you down on his massive bed, and spreads your legs.

“I see you’ve creamed for me.” He states as his head finds its way between your legs, sticking his tongue out and sliding it along your already sensitive clit. You gasp as his arms hook under your legs. You can feel his hot breath enveloping you as his tongue flicks up and down relentlessly. He’s building you up all over again, beckoning for you to orgasm for the second time. It takes almost no time at all for you to climax again.

“Michael I-” You try to warn. In response he pushes your legs higher and further apart so you can feel even more. The moan that escapes your lips is loud as you feel that wave of pleasure go through you. You grab his hair again, and you see he is watching you as you orgasm. You let go, falling on your back as you finish. You see him crawl on top of you as you catch your breath, and you feel his penis graze you again. You wince at the over stimulation, so he brings himself lower to your soaking entrance. You look up at him, your face flushed and your hair a mess. His lips are glistening, and he’s out of breath as well. 

“I’m going to fuck you now, and you’re going to orgasm for me again. Understand?” He commands as he pushes himself inside you. All you can do is nod as he begins a gruesome pace, giving you no time to adjust to his length. He’s grunting above you, focusing on you and your body, and how it’s making him feel good. You’re so dizzy from all the stimulation, you can only focus on how amazing he feels inside you.

Suddenly he stops, ordering you to get on all fours. You do so without question, feeling your wetness drip down your legs as he pulls out. You can smell the mix of sex and flowers as you get to your knees.You feel him grab your waist, pushing himself inside you once again. He’s going harder now, reaching that spot that seems impossible to get to. His hand finds its way to your hair, pulling. You hiss at the sudden stimulation to your scalp, but are distracted right away by the growing heat in your lower belly.

You can’t control your moans anymore as he pounds into you as quickly as he can. You hear him moaning along with you, and that sound he makes just gets you further along. He puts pressure on your head, silently telling you to lower your upper body so that your ass is in the air. He keeps his hand in your hair, making sure you don’t move. His other hand supports your waist as his thrusts become more uneven. He’s groaning, and you suddenly feel warm liquid burst inside you. His orgasm causes you to do the same, and you finish together.

He slows down, still going for a bit after he cums inside you. He eventually comes to a stop, pulling out. You hear the wet sound as he does so, feeling more liquid drop on your legs. He puts his arms around your front, sitting you back up. You are both breathing hard, lost for words. He moves away from you so you can lay down. You look over at him, and his face is red. He drops down beside you, looking up at the ceiling

“I told you I’d fuck you.” He says, smirking at you.

“Well maybe next time it’ll be the other way around.” You challenge, shooting him a glare.

“Oh?” He replies, his disbelief apparent.

“Yes.” Is all you say. He’s not as godly as he think he is. He feels godly, yes. But that doesn’t mean you can’t please him just as well. You know how to fuck too. You just let him do it this time...

[identitycris1s]

im back

hi just thought id pop in with a status update! maybe i’ll break this down into categories. feel like im doing an email update (ew!) but this rly is probs the best way to structure this post...

work / school (?)

work has been....aite. idk what to say. idk if i have unrealistic expectations of what work is supposed to be, but the idealist in me thinks its wrong to not even try and find something that seems meaningful / is deeply fulfilling. i think im mature enough to get that work isnt supposed to be fun / exciting every single day but bro this daily grind / sense of dread / utter disinterest / feeling of futility / frustration / disenchantment surely isnt the correct state of affairs.....at least let me try and find something that is a better fit, thats more stimulating, that feels more NATURAL to me? i just dont think im cut out to be a lawyer. sure i sometimes like arguing and making my point and i like that everyone i work with is smart and interesting and generally kind and reasonable and i like the prestige of the job and feeling like ppl respect me and i like the decent pay and the humane hours but.....i feel unmotivated to be a good lawyer. i think i find it difficult / disingenuous to always 100% get behind my client and advocate for their best interests. i tend to see things from a zoomed out perspective, like WHY are we fighting, WHY cant we just settle, WHY are the claimants pursuing this absolutely crap and unmeritorious claim and WHY do we have to defend it when its stupid and bound to fail (cos access2justice i guess but still, WHY), WHY cant we just hash things out in a meeting instead of sending emails here and there and wasting time, WHY do we have to answer stupid questions, WHY WHY WHY

and i think public policy is sort of an answer to that....i think theres more questioning of why we do things and why a policy will or will not work, in a macro sense - what is good for society at large. whereas in law (at least in litigation) its how can we just move this case forward and help the client, which is often not the most productive thing to do in a macro sense - very much a zero sum game. i get that shitty / unmeritorious claims still need to be defended against and someone has to do it and I GET IT but i just dont think i want to be that person defending these claims...or bringing them for that matter.....ultimately i cant fully / sincerely separate the overarching sense of futility from the duty to do a good job.

sigh. well at least ive kind of figured out this isnt for me. which is scary cos being a lawyer in this firm is pretty much a career for life - truly an iron rice bowl, i could probably make partner in maybe 4 or 5 years and live a comfortable upper middle class life...but i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to not give myself a shot at doing something i actually find interesting, stimulating and that i care about deeply. call me crazy! we’ll see where this brings me in 5 years’ time....:) 

anyway most ppl at work (at least in my team) know that im most likely gonna leave soon. i rly only told 2 ppl (my boss cos he had to sign off on my testimonial and G cos she was quitting anyway)...but somehow ppl found out one way or another. i dont rly mind and ppl have been taking it pretty well and have been kind and encouraging (i guess why would they not take it well, im hardly indispensable) but i get a bit antsy thinking - what if i dont get in...then what? do i just put my head down and continue here (BUT IM SO SAD) or do i just quit without any prospects and try to find a policy-ish job??

idk. will have faith that God will put me where I need to be. he is in control of it all and I BELIEVE THIS !!! I am just a bit scared that his plan is different from what i  think i want....but this is just my human instinct and i know in my head that there is no reason to be scared cos his plan is always the better one. head knowledge just needs to translate to heart understanding and real trust / faith.

ermmm relationships...???

i started using...cmb...idk why i find this so cringey. i guess about a year ago i couldnt imagine doing this and i kept thinking EW what if ppl i know see me and they think im a desperate saddo who cant find a bf irl and has to resort to an app EW shes so lame and ugly and gross. and i realised that is so stupid no one actually thinks that way and its very backward and dumb and insecure of me to be thinking that. and anyway as i get older i rly dont quite give a shit what ppl think of me (at least i tell myself that....)

i suppose i was also inspired by csm who has been quite actively using apps and meeting ppl and taking real..strides..(LOL) in her dating life. i used to tell myself hey God will provide u with a mans if he wants u to be with a mans. but also God can use an app to do that...and if i dont step out in faith that he will do something and i dont take any action at all, how is God gonna work?? should i sit at home and expect a man to fall into my lap??

for some ppl it has been way easier, e.g. my parents meeting in uni and falling i love. i always wanted that - the organic relationship, the meet-cute, the friends to lovers thing. (i guess i tried that last one before and it didnt work...) but i think theres no point in romanticising relationships anymore. thats a very modern thing to do and its not necessarily a good thing? like who’s to say a relationship that had organic beginnings is intrinsically better than one that started from an app?

anyway i havent had much luck haha i think its hard to find genuine GCBs (or maybe theyre just not attracted to me....) although recently ive been talking to this one guy B for a week or two and its been...ok i guess. hes rly nice and seemed cool at first - we talked about travelling and hamilton and the office, which was a good start. he is thoughtful and kind and doesnt seem to be put off by my very slow replies (he replies so fast......its stressful a bit) and he does the whole good morning text thing (which i frankly find a bit bizarre, we barely know each other..?? and ive never even met him irl.. but its sweet i guess :))

but DUDE his english seems to be not great - at least thats the impression i get from texting him. which is an issue for me. i dont want it to be BUT IT IS...first red flag was when he said some weird thing about not wanting to wear a mask at work (not a literal mask - like he didnt know if he could be his ‘true self’) and the wording was very strange. then he said “the weekends are almost here” ?? the weekend is not a plural though? then he used the wrong tense a few times and his apostrophe usage was wrong (”Gods’ love” - bro there is one God). he also uses way too many commas which irks me.

i mean i get that text is supposed to be an informal medium - come on look at this post, there r hardly any capital letters and plenty of short forms and hardly any apostrophes but u see its CONSISTENT and its obviously cos of laziness / convenience - but i think his problem is a bit different...u can sort of tell if someone doesnt have a 100% strong grasp of english. those r basic grammar mistakes man...i get that i sound petty and stupid and this isnt a huge deal but i feel like im settling by even talking to him cos this is not something i wld normally tolerate but hey maybe im getting desperate with age :(:(:( urgh 

on the other hand maybe i just need to be more generous with ppl and l have an irrationally high standard for english cos i am a lawyer and my friends all speak well / text well?? maybe im just being too nitpicky?? honestly hes very nice  and communicative and straightforward and seems mature and very God-fearing and idk why hes still talking to me cos ive been a bit cold and slow to respond. hes very patient which i dont rly deserve.....i myself have a million flaws that are probably way worse and egregious (ahem PRIDE...ahem ego....ie the source of this dilemma in the first place...) so maybe i should just close one eye abt the bad grammar.

i also realised how fked up i am - confirmed my suspicion that i am naturally attracted to emotionally unavailable ppl / ppl that just seem distant / out of reach (thats my avoidant attachment style right there). i think there was one day he didnt text me at all and omg...i couldnt stop thinking what i did wrong...like did i piss him off by being too cold for too long...did he get scared off cos i said i wanted to do a masters (idk this seemed like an irrational leap but i was being irrational)..then i started being nicer to him and replied more promptly hahaha turns out he was just rly bz at work that day. omg this pattern is real i think i did this with xj also - was eager to speak when he was in japan but after meeting irll i was just over it... (i am drawn to distance like a moth to a flame and i am repelled by availability like....a fire by a fire extinguisher (??)). yucks i rly hate myself sometimes but yknow what at least im self aware and im trying to fix this...kind of.. gonna hash this avoidant thing out with my therapist at the next sesh.

on the topic of xj i got a bit nostalgic and wondered why we stopped speaking (surprise surprise it was my fault, didnt reply then felt it had been left to long to pick it up again...) went back to look at our texts and aw we rly got along so well, i do miss him as a friend and im sorry about how poorly i treated him especially in dec 2018 / jan 2019 sigh.....i was a real bitch....

anyway im just gonna see how things go with B... if he asks me out i prob will go... just to give it a shot. update if / when that happens!

EDIT - he asked me out lol we shall see how it goes.