#i should also sign up to some kind of classes maybe driving or some kind of sport/exercise
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Depression... is setting in.... ughhhhhh
Maybe Its that I don't have anything I'm supposed to do anymore...(but I do... I should be working on the paper)
Or maybe it's just the weight of all the past weeks crashing down... maybe I just need to rest/survive another week....
Ughhhh
#if its the former then i need to remind myself i have to work on the paper#and i should contact my german class and ask what the fuck happened with it#i should also hang out with my bf both to gauge hows he holding up and to force myself to confront my own feelings#(but i can do that only after therapy/seeing what happens with mom)#i should also sign up to some kind of classes maybe driving or some kind of sport/exercise#both to occupy my mind and socialize more#i should also leave my dad to fend for himself for my own good and look for job of my own#...#lots of things to discuss next therapy#if its the latter.... god i hope its the latter and not just the devil speaking... a week should be enough#dunno i guess once again i can discuss that in therapy and ask my therapist to help me determine whether i need rest#or if its just the devil/depression speaking#anyway theres pride coming soon so i at least have that to look for in the near future
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Steddie I Soulmate AU I 2k I Rated Mature I idiot4idiot
The thing about linking with your soulmate, you never knew when it was going to happen. There were horror stories about it happening during weddings to someone else or while performing heart surgery or landing a plane, but linking was so rare, stories like that seemed more like fairy tales than cautionary ones.
If anyone had asked Eddie what he thought about it, he would've said the odds of there being some guy out there destined to be his mate, let alone that he'd have to worry about linking during some critical moment, were astronomically low.
He'd be wrong.
Because his ears are ringing, his vision has tunnelled, and there's an empty vacuum where his usual chaotic thoughts should be. All signs pointing toward-
Hello?
Jesus H. Christ, not now! Not right now, this cannot be happening now. Quick! Think of something else! Uhhh… Golems! Ice golems! Or maybe frost giants. Yeah! Not having hate sex with your arch nemesis. Shit! Stop thinking about it! Frost giants, frost giants, frost giants!
Hate sex? He hears echo around his noggin next. Arch nemesis?
Fuuuuuck. No, darlin’, don't even worry about that stray thought! Nothing to see here. I'm, uh, baking! Yeah. Brownies. For a charity bake sale
A long pause, empty space between them, before he says, I don't believe you. I think you are having sex
Sex?! He screeches. How dare you! I would never!
You would. Go balls deep into a guy you don't even like, sounds like to me. Class act.
Oh god, there’s gotta be a way to salvage this.
No, let me explain, please!
Knock yourself out
Right. So, this guy, I know him from school, right? And he was always kind of a jerk. The space between them pings with a sort of stung feeling but Eddie doesn't understand how any of this works yet so he ignores it. But we end up having a few mutual friends, and this one really weird event happens that forces us to, like, team up, I guess. After all that I'm spending more time around the guy and he's not so bad. Invited me over to smoke up with him, which was cool. I'm gonna be totally honest, I'm not sure how exactly we got here, the sex part, but it’s pretty hot and heavy, kinda aggressive, so… yeah. Hate sex I guess
Soulmate is quiet again. His feelings bleed through anyway, at least Eddie's pretty sure that's what he's getting. It feels like embarrassment and disappointment.
You okay? Did I scare you off?
You don't like the guy at all? You said arch nemesis
Oh. Uh. Well… How did he explain to his future partner, if he hadn't already ruined it, that he likes him plenty, he's just been holding him at arms length, metaphorically, because he assumed the guy was straight? Up until roughly twenty minutes ago. He should probably start with honesty.
No, I like him okay. He's not as bad as I'd always thought. We give each other shit but I'm pretty sure it's just left over bullshit stereotypes from high school. I bully him about his music taste, he bullies me about my shitty van. That type of thing
…Right
He waits to hear back from his soulmate but he's not very talkative. That's okay, Eddie can talk enough for both of them.
So, what were you up to when we linked? Not driving I hope
He can hear the guy sighing over the link, which is worrying.
You'll never believe it, but I'm also having sex at the moment
Seriously? That's hilarious
Yeah. A hoot
Not having fun?
I was. But I recently found out the guy doesn't like me that much. So, yeah, real mood killer
Oh man. That sucks
Oh my god. Yeah, it really does. Kinda wish he'd get off of me so we can get the awkward part over with but he's distracted at the moment
Doing what?! Eddie yells, offended on his behalf.
“He’s busy not realizing he linked to the guy he was hate fucking.”
Huh?
“Eddie, open your fucking eyes.”
That's Steve talking.
He blinks his eyes open to see Steve looking up at him. He's not pleased.
Wait
“Yeah.”
Oh my god
“As impressive as it is that you managed to stay hard through that whole thing, I'd appreciate it if you-” He hisses as Eddie, rudely he realizes, pulls out without warning.
He scrambles to the end of the bed, bunching up the comforter around his junk. “I'm so sorry, fuck, Steve, I'm so sorry. I don't… I didn't…”
He can't fix this, he starts to slowly comprehend. He's made Steve think he hates him.
“Nah, it's cool. I get it.”
I don't hate you, I swear. You have to believe me
“Sure, Eddie.” He's yanking his briefs back on, angry and trying not to show it. “You just don't like me much.” Can't believe I did this again. So fucking stupid
Eddie's certain he's not meant to hear any of that but he responds anyway.
You're not stupid. Please let me explain
“You already did. And I am fucking stupid,” he snaps. “Here I thought we were flirting this whole time and you thought we were bullying each other. That's real fuckin’ stupid of me. I'd convinced myself you actually-” He snaps his teeth shut but Eddie can still hear the unfinished -liked me. “I really wish you would control your feelings, dude. You're broadcasting your horror straight into my head.”
“I don't know how to stop,” he quietly admits.
“Well if you'd ever shown up to health class you'd know how to control it.”
I never thought I would get a soulmate
Steve's surprise at that pings around his brain before he does what Eddie can't and shuts it down.
“I did. I've been thinking about it for years.”
And you ended up with me… And I ruined it before we even got started. I ruined it. Steve Harrington is my soulmate and I ruined it. What the fuck
“You don't have to say it like I'm some kind of prize.” He steps into his jeans and tugs them back up to his hips, not even bothering to do them up. Which is- “I guess it's nice that you think I'm hot. That's something. Maybe we'll be the first casual hookup soulmates.”
He has to fix this. Somehow. Think, god damnit! Wait! That's it! He just has to show Steve what he's thinking!
“I wish you wouldn't.”
“Too bad!” He snaps back.
Okay, as embarrassing as this is about to be, he has to tell the truth.
Eddie was in the 8th grade, Steve in 7th, when they first met. Or, when Eddie first noticed Steve anyway, they never really spoke to each other, their cliques already established by then. But Eddie can remember it like it was yesterday. It was lunch, Eddie was walking by with his bagged PB&J, when he heard it. Steve laughing. It was so joyful, Eddie didn't even know what he was laughing about but it made him smile anyway. Of course one of Steve's shitty jock friends caught him staring and called him a queer freak but that wasn't unusual.
“What the fuck, Eddie? Why do you remember that? And how are you so good at visualizing?”
He ignores the questions to move on to the next memory. Eddie's sophomore year they somehow ended up in the same Shop class. Again, they never spoke but he got to watch Steve work, tongue poking out while he concentrated, the proud look on his face when he whittled some hunk of wood into a recognisable shape.
“I forgot about that. It was a dolphin. I was dating Chelsea Hosteller, they were her favorite animal.”
“Lucky her.”
“Hey, fuck you, man, you're the one showing me this shit! What am I supposed to assume from any of this? You thought I was cute? So what? You clearly don't like who I am as a person, so what difference does it make?”
He's not going to have the patience for every single moment, and they're a lot of them, Eddie realizes that now. So he speed runs through them, making sure to send every bit of feeling through their link.
Steve in his Scoops outfit, luring Eddie to the mall but never making him brave enough to go in. The horror of not knowing whether Steve was alive or dead when he heard about the mall burning down. The joy of finding him at Family Video, somewhere he had reason to visit.
You never even talked to me there
Listening to every word to every story Henderson told him about Steve and his bravery. Pretending to be annoyed so no one noticed he was eating it up. Getting to know the real Steve over Spring Break, the giddiness he couldn't quite tamp down, even as he was scared shitless. The pain of knowing Steve was still in love with Nancy Wheeler, even though it was the obvious narrative to Steve's fairytale life. Of course he gets the girl at the end.
What? Is that why you-
The way he stuck around afterward, even though their dynamic was more antagonistic than friendly, and the way Eddie thrived off of every snarky comment. How it felt like banter even though Eddie knew, by all logic and reason, Steve was merely tolerating his presence. They would always be antithetical to each other, circling but never meeting.
Eddie, no
Steve growling ‘Do you ever shut up!’ before pouncing on him downstairs. The heavy pounding of his heart as he wrestled Steve up the stairs. The way his brain never did catch up to what was happening or why, until it was too late, and he was ruining both the greatest sex he'd ever had and also the chance to prove, though he's still completely unworthy, that he has already been primed and ready to fall for Steve for years. The shame of ruining it. The heartbreak of ruining it. The teeny, tiny spark of hope as Steve stares him down. He has to close his eyes to avoid it, lest he say something stupid and fuck it up again.
You…do like me?
Yeah, Stevie. I like you a whole lot. I just didn't think I was allowed to like you. I didn't realize you liked me too. I'm sorry I said all that shit earlier. I didn't want to tell the guy I'd just linked with that I was thoroughly enjoying the chance to sleep with this guy I'd had a crush on for years. That seemed rude
The bed dips and so does Eddie's stomach. Steve's enormous hands slide up his neck, into his hair, and gently cradle his face as he leans in to kiss Eddie square on the mouth.
Oh. Hi
Hi
This is nice
I think so too. How do you feel about finishing what we started but this time we both know that we like each other?
That sounds awesome. But are you sure? I really, really fucked up the first time
I thought you were perfect up until you called me your arch nemesis
I have been told that sometimes I'm a little dramatic
You know what, that's fair. I really should've taken that as a compliment, if anything
See? Now you get it
What I'm getting is another condom. Hold my ankle so I don't slide off the bed
You got it, baby
Unbelievable. Salvaged the wreckage of his own stupidity and managed to bag the hottest guy in town! Score one for the nerds!
“I heard that.”
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winter-themed phone sex w/ Dave Lizewski? like, y/n and Dave had plans to see each other but then a snowstorm hits and both of them are stuck in their own houses, so they have phone sex?
*˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳WAIT I LOVE THIS ONE!!! A few years of a LDR has me basing this one on some experience... 🤭
. 。✩Tags/CW: dave and reader college au, boyfriend!Dave, circa 2010s vibes, skype s*x, mutual m*sturbation, dirty talk, I think usually Dave is a sub but today I'm feeling surprising dom!Dave(oh the confidence you can find behind a screen...), belt kink, talk of spanking/choking/slapping, semi aggressive talk, d*ldo use, cozy end.
"So, I'll see you tonight after your last class?" Dave asks, pushing his glasses up and leaning against the wall near you to try to ask suave.
You've both just exited your last shared class of the day. You reach up and pull his hat down over his ears, knowing he's going out in that cold weather today. It's been freezing, but no sign of anything else.
"Yes! I'll be headed over to your dorm soon as my night class is done." You smile, fixing your own cold weather garments before leaning in to sneak a quick kiss.
Dave's eyes flutter behind his glasses as you kiss him, practically melting into your lips. He knows it's kind of embarrassing to kiss in front of all the other students trying to get out of their own for the day, but he also kind of likes than everyone can see someone as gorgeous as you being the one to kiss him.
You give his hand one last squeeze and head off so you aren't late to your next class.
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You're checking the clock over and over, practically aching to get out of class. Night has set so early as it does in December, and from your seat by the window, you can see the flurries of snow getting larger. Everyone is rushing, packing up quickly to try to beat the snow, but by the time you get outside, there's already more than a few inches.
You fight against a wicked wind that blinds you in a cloud of white as you try to get to your car. Your cheeks burn red from the cold, and you quickly brush off as much of the heavy blanket of snow on your car as you can before it starts to fill up with white again.
You weren't one to keep an eye on the weather, but when you finally hop into your car, you check your texts, seeing a million from Dave asking if your class was cancelled or not. You crank the heat of your car and wait for it to warm up, taking a moment to call your boyfriend.
"Babe! All you alright? Should I call a snow plow to come save you?" Dave's voice is half alarmed, half joking when he answers.
"No, no, I'm fine!" You laugh and assure him, knowing your big truck has four wheel drive and you're not unused to this weather. "But I'm not sure I can make it over tonight..."
"I totally understand..." Dave says, despite the pouting tone in his voice. "But I'll miss you..."
"I feel the same way," you say, leaning against your foggy car window. "Maybe I can make it up to you later this weekend if the snow clears."
"Yeah," Dave says with a sigh, then begins again as if he's had an idea. "Well, hey! Maybe we could try out having one of those virtual dates if you can't physically come!"
"Oh really? And what does that entail?"You laugh, not someone who's super tech savvy yourself for these things.
"W-Well," Dave says nervously, unsure it this would interest you. "We could each set up a little dinner in front of a Skype call and watch each other through our webcams? Maybe watch a movie together if we hit play at the same time?"
You think for a moment. It actually doesn't sound like a bad idea, and it's not like you really have much to do when you get home either besides maybe study and bundle up from the cold.
"That actually sounds really sweet..." You say with a smile into the phone. "I'm going to drive home, but you get it all set up for when I get there!"
"You got it!" You can tell just by his voice how excited Dave is.
. 。✩
You finally arrive home, taking twice the time as usual from the low visibility and your cautious driving. You're lucky to have made it, there were a few cars on the side of the road having had swerved and gotten stuck in sudden snow banks. You pound your boots on the entrance mat, trying to get as much snow off them as possible. You shake a flurry off white off your body and peel yourself from your scarf, hat, and coat.
Finally, you're free, taking the time to send Dave a text about your arrival and your plan to make dinner then meet him for your Skype date.
You settle upstairs with a big mug of cocoa and a few slices of left over pizza finally, and get set up in front of your computer. The good news about dating Dave was that he had helped you completely outfit and build a PC that could do just about anything, despite the fact that you only really use it for school, YouTube, and the occasional minecraft server with him. He also had a webcam installed so that you could take your online classes as well, or give him a call if you felt the need.
You strip down to just a big comfy sweater and a pair of lacy red panties, happy that the webcam only sees your upper half. You made sure to turn up the heat in your apartment, so with the vent beneath the desk, you feel perfectly cozy after a rough time in the treacherous snow.
You quickly figure out how to use Skype once more, and before you know it, Dave appears on your screen. He's in his dorm room, outfitted with only the most prestigious nerdy memorabilia on the walls and shelves behind him. He looks more than happy to see you, giving a big smile.
"It worked! Awesome! You ready for our dinner date, babe?" His voice comes through your headphones, and for a moment, a chill runs down your spine as you remember how sexy you find it.
"Of course," you say with a smile and raise your plate and mug to the camera.
Dave does the same, showing a can of Coke and a bowl of Mac and Cheese. Then he pauses as if he forgot to mention something.
"Oh! Of course, our dinner wouldn't be a date if it wasn't candle lit!" He pulls a tiny candle into frame, its small light flickering on the screen.
You laugh, finding the effort a tad romantic, and mainly happy to still be able to spend some time with him.
"So, I picked out one of your favorite movies for us to watch. I'll send you a link!" He works something on his keyboard and screen and you wonder if he really knows you well enough to find a favorite of yours.
You click the link he sends and audibly squeal.
"What! I love The Princess Bride! How did you find it?" You hadn't seen it on any streaming service in so long, so you were surprised he could pull it up with ease.
"I have my ways..." Dave says with a small blush then pressing his glasses back up once again.
The two of you chat about your day, you telling him about the wicked snow storm, and how you barely made it home. He tells you about his latest comic he's been reading, and you enjoy hearing his interest in things he's passionate about. Your mug of cocoa warms your hands and you find your little date to be not quite as good as just being together, but the next best thing.
Eventually, you two start the movie by counting down and pressing play at the same time. You get comfortable, and find yourself loving this time together while the wind rages on outside your bedroom windows.
About half way through the movie, you get up to grab a pillow from your bed to get comfortable with, and forget that the camera can see much more than it did before when you walk away from it. You hear Dave's breath catch in your headphones.
"What?" You laugh, still bending over your bed to grab your pillow, ass now completely void of any sweater coverage.
"I-um..." Dave clears his throat nervously, then tries to be a bit suave. "I didn't know you would have worn those to see me tonight, they look good on you..."
Your body freezes and you turn to the camera, where your lingerie is overly apparent. You're not sure if you should be embarrassed or not! Dave is your boyfriend, so of course he's seen you naked before, but something about the fact that it's on camera has you pulling your sweater down and heat in your cheeks.
"Aw, c'mon, you don't have to hide it..." Dave continues, his nerdy voice obviously entranced by your form.
You carefully get back in your seat, not showing anything uncouth anymore.
"Oh my god..." Your face is so red, you wish he couldn't see it right now. "I can't believe I flashed you like that, I'm sorry, I forgot how much this thing can see."
"Hey...I think it's kind of hot that I can see you like that, even when you're far away..." Dave smirks and you have to admit, the thought is starting to turn you on too.
You decide to toy with him, leaning back in your office chair so he can just barely see your thighs. You watch as Dave leans closer to the screen, obviously entranced by your figure. You lift your sweater ever so delicately, slowly revealing those panties that made him so interested in the first place.
"Like this?" You ask coyly, as if you're completely innocent as to what you're doing.
"Y-yes." Dave stammers out, and you think his glasses will practically fog up from how red his cheeks are getting.
"If you want to see more," you say with a smirk playing on your lips. "I think it's only fair I see some of you..."
You didn't think it was possible, but Dave's blush deepens even more. He pulls back a bit from the screen and tries to laugh it off how worked up he is right now.
"O-oh! I mean, I uh..." Dave's hand reaches back and gives his dark curls a toss. "If that's, wh-what you want..."
"Now who's the one being shy?" You say, raising an eyebrow and letting your sweater drop back onto your thighs in protest.
Dave tries to come up with answer to that one, and fails. He clearly wants to see more from you, however, and he repostions his webcam so you can see more of his body. Particually, his lap. Through his jeans, you can see just how hard you've made him with so little. You love how easy it is to rile him up like this.
"Sh-should I do a little striptease for you?" He jokes, but you think that's actually not a half bad idea.
"Maybe...at least take it off slowly..." You reply.
Dave begins to lift his shirt, but you stop him.
"Let's start with your pants. That way, we're even..." You play with the hem of your sweater while giving him your best doe eyes.
He concedes, standing so that most of his waist takes up the camera. You find yourself leaning in now, a wetness growing between your legs as he takes off his belt in such a perfect way. He snaps it jokingly and laughs, but pauses when he sees your reaction.
"What? Should I spank you with this next time I see you?" Dave snaps the belt again and watches as you bite your lip coyly.
"I wouldn't say no..." You say appreciating your boyfriends figure as he slowly unbuttons his jeans.
His confidence continues, and you find yourself being turned on more and more as he unzips and slowly removes his jeans.
"Maybe I will bend you over my knee and treat you like the bad girl you are..." You know he still has a wave of laughing it off just in case you're not into the dirty talk he's starting, but you sense he's also getting into himself, especially with how hard and large his cock looks beneath his underwear.
"I'd like that..." You murmur, entranced by the screen before you. "I think you should tell me how you would punish me if you were here..."
"I would, um..." Dave tries to find the words, working it out. "I would turn you over and spank you until my handprint remains..."
You give a small moan to what he's said, your hands gripping your breasts and thighs over your clothing. You hear Dave's breathing pull in sharply, and you know this must be turning him on as much as you. You pull back your sweater once more, those red panties looking tantalizing on you once more.
"T-that's right... Take more off for me..." Dave's voice wavers as he tries to find a commandeering tone, but you oblige your sweet boyfriend just this once.
"Do you have any uh, toys?" Dave questions you, voice getting huskier by the second.
"Oh...? Why, do you wanna see me play with myself?" Dave is already nodding before you're finished, and you can see the need filling his blue eyes.
You stand, letting him get another view of your ass as you pull your typical toy from your nightstand. You see Dave blush once more as he gets a gander at your large pink dildo.
You sit, opening your legs so Dave can get a good view of your cunt, your red panties already starting to be soaked through. Dave had been rubbing himself over his boxers, but upon seeing so much of you, you watch with excitment as he slowly lets his cock flop out. You know youve seen it before, but his fat cock always surprises you with how girthy and thick it is.
"Take off your sweater." Dave commands, his deep and voice full of want.
You do as he says, realize the air of being unserious about this has shifted. Suddenly, you feel very inclined to do whatever your boyfriend tells you to.
You watch as Dave strokes himself, the tip of his cock growing wet just from seeing your tits fall out of your sweater so nicely. You weren't wearing a bra underneath, so he gets a nice view of them immediately. You hear him hold back a moan, his hands working just a bit faster once he sees your full figure.
"Tell me what you want to do to me..." You whisper into your headset mic, and you watch as Dave struggles between his own pleasure and dirty talking for a moment.
"I...I want to lay you on your bed and fuck you harder than I ever have..." He says it as if he's admitting it to himself his own dominating tendency.
Usually, Dave was pretty submissive in bed, and you liked that about him, but right now, something inside both of you wanted him to be the one to take control. You slide your hands up and down your body, feeling your own tits and pretending it's him.
"I want to be on top and see your face when you take such a big cock..." Dave mutters while biting his lip to keep another moan back.
Your legs feel tingly, and a shiver runs up your spine as you hear such little whimpers from him so close to your ears right now.
"Oh yeah? Tell me more..." You encourage him, and he takes it happily.
"I want to grab you by the neck, and make sure you know that it's me who's fucking you so good... I want to watch you choke a little while I fuck your brains out." You're a bit surprised by his new wants, but you don't mind.
In fact, you wish he would say more, say something really dirty and wrong that he would want to do to you.
"Let me see it..."
You already know what he wants, but your still tease him by slowly dragging your red panties to the side so he can get a good look at your glistening cunt. A groan escapes him when you do.
"Fuck...I need to fuck you so bad..." You love how easy it is to get him here.
"What else would you do?" You let your pretty pink dildo slide up and down your slit, teasing but not entering.
"I want to see you stuffed and filled with my cock, I want to slap away any moans you make from it, even though you can't help expressing how badly you want it..." Dave leans back into his chair as he speaks, hand still working himself, but getting lost in the moment.
"I want you to slap me until my cheeks go red..." You admit, and you can tell by his little sounds how much he wants that too. "Tell me what a dirty whore I am..."
"God, you're such a dirty whore...my personal little slut that I use up when ever I want to." Dave opens his eyes and watches you play with yourself for a moment.
"Put it in. I want you to stretch yourself out on your toy and imagine it's me, slut..." He finally commands you in such a way that there's no thought of even denying him.
Not with how badly you want this right now.
You let your toy slide in deeper to your folds, going past your most precious point, and deeper. You let your legs open wide for the camera, showing off your little cunt taking such a big dildo as yours. Dave watches intently, loving seeing you do exactly what he says, loving seeing you so filled up when he can't do it himself.
"Fuck yourself for me. I want you to moan my name and beg me to let you cum..." Dave is getting closer himself, the tip of his cock red and engorged as he strokes on.
You let your free hand play with your clit, slow circles quickly getting faster and faster as you take more and more of your own pleasure. You fuck yourself deeper, letting your toy really work your cunt in ways only you know feel best. You feel your skin prickling against the cool air now that your sweater cannot warm you against the cold of your apartment. You hit just the right spot inside of yourself, and Dave's name comes from your lips. You imagine it's him, fucking you into this computer chair, his hand around your throat.
"That's it, be a good little fucking slut and show me how you play with yourself..." Dave continues to entice you towards cumming.
"You better not cum without begging me though...you got that, bitch?" You can't believe your sweet, nerdy boyfriend could growl something so mean to you, but that's what makes this even better.
"Yes," You moan, agreeing to his terms.
"Good. You know how to be a proper whore then..." He sighs while he takes a moment to watch you, his own cock wanting nothing more than release right now.
"And if you don't cum for me now, I'll have to edge you relentlessly later." Dave threatens, and you feel yourself getting closer.
"Fuck, Dave..." You squirm in your seat, your cunt overwhelmed and swollen from how much attention you're giving it right now.
"That's right, baby girl..." He encourages you.
"I'm...I'm going to cum..." You whisper as you find yourself coming undone. "Please, please let me cum...!"
Your voice quivers and begs, your body spasming but holding off as you were told. Dave let's you keep it up for a few moments, stroking his own cock harder than ever, before groaning out.
"Cum for me..."
You feel those three magic words work their way against your skin, and suddenly, you're falling over the edge, waves of pleasure across your body, blossoming from your tender cunt. You watch as Dave finds his own pleasure, cum leaking out and eventually shooting down his hand, a low moan escaping his lips. You both ride out your orgasms together, and when you're done, there's nothing but the sound of heavy breathing and the snow storm raging outside.
You both take a minute, before agreeing to take a moment to clean up. You both snap off the camera. You trot on liquid legs to your bathroom and for a moment, you can't believe you just did that. You had never had phone sex, let alone letting Dave see you so vulernable with yourself. You're still surprised by his sudden dominating energy, but you find yourself now yearn to enact what you two talked about. You'll have to bring it up next time you're over. You hope he isn't too shy when the camera isn't on.
Eventually you come back to your virtual date night, having a new mug of hot cocoa ready, and half of The Princess Bride to finish. You get the pillow you originally were going for before being sidetracked, and feel cozier and more close to Dave than ever despite the physical distance. Dave doesn't even mind when you fall asleep in your chair just before the credits roll. He leaves his computer on, but snuggles up in his bed, telling you goodnight from there and leaving his headset on to hear your soft breaths.
Maybe the snow storm wasn't so bad after all...
Taglist: @lazyneonrabbitt @nikistan @remuslupinsno1slut @haha-im-dumb @shakedogshake @beep-boop-baby @aesniri @pinkyyy666 @lpeanut-butterl @shrekscrustybudassy @lookatmelookatme @dreary-salem @almostjollypizza @boo8008 @arabellacrybaby @imaslutforcuddles @yasugardaddieshouse @real-sharena-h @stilloverthinking @tvgirlsbluehair @magicalgoopdeanhuman @jazmin25 @sknnylgndsstuff @lenasdmns @iluvkr @d3psta @sinjinpools @whotfistaylor @mut4nts @loser-lover0527 @vselva-blog @adrienette715 @jayjay57 @gildedgwen @izzyisstuff @casuallycruel-tswiftie13 @winter-bearv
#dave lizewski x reader#dave lizewski#dave lizewski fanfic#kick ass fanfic#my writing#dave lizewski smut
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My reactions to Evangelion episode 17: Fourth Child
I regret ever doubting Misato. It was not her who was sus, it was NERV.
Actually, I did wonder if the Angel was trying to communicate with him.
The need for "heart" to operate the Evas is stirring some things in my head.
Toji is a good brother.
ope, my kid is home. I'll save this as a draft and try to resume later.
Okay, it's later. My kid is asleep and I'm squeezing in an episode before I also go to bed. I'm just going to start from the beginning. I think I could probably actually watch this with him because the content doesn't seem too mature for him, however he would not be able to restrain himself from talking through the thing and I would annoy him by pausing the show if I have long notes to make, so he'll just have to wait to see if I feel I must do a second watch after the first one.
I like that Misato is protecting Shinji from this interrogation.
The Angels are EVOLVING?
So I've been thinking about how Adam appeared to be a fetus in a suitcase when Kaji brought him to Gendo and how he was called the first Angel when Kaji showed him to Misato fully grown, so I wonder if instead of dying they just do a little Steven Universe thing and revert back to an embryo? Or actually maybe comparing them to a phoenix is more apt. Also, I did find it weird when the lava Angel pupae looked so similar to fetus Adam but I also take it for granted that all embryos/ early stage fetuses look the same no matter what species they are, so I didn't think too deeply about it. That should have been my first clue that Adam was an Angel and not a person.
What is the S2 drive?
So the base or whatever vanished. It disappeared into the Dirac Sea. Was it the S2 drive and human error that caused this vaporization of sorts or was it an Angel attack?
The dummy plug is very interesting to me. The Eva needs to feel like there is a pilot to sync with. Is it because the implanted personalities long to have a soul again? Or am I just thinking weird things because I'm tired? lol
Is that actually Rei in the tube? I guess it is.
Ritsuko, why so creepy?
Asuka being mean again. Oh, young lady.
Does class rep like Toji??
Rei's got medication she takes.
Rei's reaction to Shinji cleaning up after her was so cute.
She's never said thank you before?
Here we go with some Garden of Eden talk. Is Tokyo-3 the Eden? Maybe it's a space station for when they destroy the Earth.
The Marduk Institute doesn't exist? And Shinji's school seems to be involved. Maybe all the kids there potential pilots.
"But I'm not a girl" Shinji, I love you.
Kaji is a watermelon farmer.
I wonder what traits they select for when choosing pilots.
Kensuke is so nosy,
The birth rate has been falling. Hmmm.
She's offering to make you a lunch, dumbass.
I'm changing Asuka's name to Karen.
In Conclusion
I feel like things are starting to come together but I'm still no closer to figuring out exactly what the secrets here are. Soon, soon.
Toji being the Fourth Children is tugging on my brain because I feel like if I could figure out what about him makes him the candidate they've been looking for then I would have a much better idea of what's going on with the Evas. I had thought there may be some kind of psychic element to this but I haven't seen any signs that they are being evaluated for psychic skills. It seems the "heart" is the most important part, but what determines that there is enough heart? All the pilots are so different, except for that they all do have some kind of trauma. Is that the trick? I don't seem to recall any mention of Toji's parents being killed but he just mentioned that there's no one at home to make a lunchbox for him anymore, so maybe he has lost them. Shinji lost his mother and his dad's a deadbeat, Asuka mentioned she has no one left to care about (if I remember right), and Rei is also alone from what I can tell and may have lost her loved ones horrifically. We know she has no one to make her feel connected to the world with all the suicidal sounding stuff she was saying that upset Shinji. Maybe she was the one who said she had no one left? Could have been both girls. So, I guess now I'm wondering if Toji's sister has died. Anyway, I guess I'll just have to wait and see.
I have a feeling the dummy plug is going to be a disaster.
That's about all I'm coming up with right now. I have to get to bed or I will regret it in the morning and all day tomorrow, so I will try to watch another episode tomorrow night, but maybe earlier in the evening so I can fit in a couple. We'll see. It all depends on a certain dependent of mine and how fast he goes to bed.
#neon genesis evangelion#evangelion#first watch#thoughts#reactions#shinji ikari#rei ayanami#asuka langley soryu#misato#toji suzuhara
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2024 goals - January progress
Looking back I've honestly been doing super well with my goals this month! I'm very proud! It's small steps but they are making me feel good and like I prioritize things that I value which ultimately is what I want. I've been feeling calmer in life this month, that the avalanche of life changes is slowing dow finally which feels so good! I have however also had a lot of doubts and sadness and stress so it's a lot of both. Currently I'm feeling scarred but happy but stressed but calm. All over the place insomma.
Goals progress under the cut because if there's one thing my linguist ass likes to do it's saying words.
Get back into a reading routine
I have read a bit this month but nothing extraordinary. I don't know if I should do some kind of discipline thing like I have to read on my way to work every day for a week, just to see what happens. I think that could work because I do enjoy reading but I fall out of habit with it.
Meet friends at least once a month (= get better at reaching out, would be cool to reach out to people I never really knew but always found cool too!)
I've honestly hung out with a lot of friends! One I reached out to and it was so nice to catch up and it felt normal and like no time had passed. He also said he was happy I had reached out and that we should try to meet again soon. I got to meet one of my boyfriend's friends and she was super cool and fun! And then I was invited to a birthday party with some friends that I hadn't seen since summer. It was good to reconnect with them and it feels like it makes the first step to reaching out to them again less daunting. I was also very proud of myself because I managed to buy a gift without freaking out which is a huge thing for me! I also already have 2-3 hangouts planned for February. I want to be careful though to not plan too much because I kinda did this time last year and it sent me into a panic so I have to balance just chilling some weekends too.
Do the damn exercises for my back :( (possibly start going to the gym or join a sport of some kind (I would love to do salsa or boxing))
I haven't been great at doing my exercises at all (I've done them maybe 2-3 times all month...) and my back has been hurting more/in a different way so I should get on that. I've gone to two salsa classes so far though! I'm so happy I signed up for the course! I don't know that it's necessarily doing anything for my back but I get to move one hour a week. I'm trying actively to have fun and enjoy moving my body so it's nice! I do think group classes are good for me. Like if I would've been like let me start going to the gym I'm not convinced that I would do it consistently. I'm thinking maybe I should find some other class once this salsa one is over..?
Get better at Portuguese (I find it so difficult to define a level because what is my level now even?)
I haven't worked super hard on this but I listened to a few episodes of Respondendo em voz alta one week. I also searched for some kinda indie music and made a playlist. I think I did some Duolingo but now I've downloaded Busuu again so I'm working through that again. I actually finished that whole course when I kinda speedran in back in August but there are so many things I don't remember so I want to do it more properly now. I want to find a way to practice what I learn better so that I actually retain it but it's difficult.
Get my license (my permit expires in a year so I kinda have to)
I had one lesson.... It went super well and it felt good but it's kinda just the thing of finding available times. For February a goal is to make my boyfriend do the course thing so I can drive with him. I should also start studying the theory honestly. It's time I think
Get back into the habit of going on walks
I went for one walk last Saturday when the weather was beautiful! This goal I think is honestly more of a "how many hours of sun is there in a day" than anything else. Of course I don't feel tempted to go for a walk in my low-key unsafe neighborhood at 8 pm when it has been dark for 4 hours and it's -5 c you know.
Go to the theatre more (youth discount my beloved) and also to some museums!
I haven't but I started following some theaters and museums on Instagram to keep a bit more up to date with their program and hopefully get inspired to go to stuff that interest me! I did go to a poetry event, a concert and a movie so I got some culture!
Improve my sleeping schedule
I've added this goal later because like second week of the year I said to myself it's not cute to always sleep too little anymore. And then I kinda just... had a mindset change, said to myself girl you should start going to bed earlier and now I sometimes do. Which is huge compared to before. I've noticed that often if I start preparing for bed earlier I expand the time and like start cleaning the kitchen and stuff so I don't necessarily sleep earlier but I think it's still good I start slowing down and rewind earlier. I still never ever sleep 8 hours on a workday but maybe bit by bit I will get there.
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So! It's time for an update again, methinks!
I was thinking today...I wished I had more self-confidence. There are many reasons why I think this could be awesome, but one of them is that you can look incredibly ugly and undesirable and people won't look you like you're scum of the earth just because you inherited your moms nose, you see? Or at least, you don't care as much. In my apprenticeship as a translator, we had this really cool, sassy young woman, whom I had the pleasure to sit besides in class. She exuded such confidence, such power. She was so pretty too. She just happened to be really thicc, you know? And I'm not talking about the usual thicc some people use to talk about babyfat. No, I mean THICC (in the most respectful and loving way possible.) But she knew how tot dress, she knew how to present herself, and she always bragged in class about her newest boyfriend. I really admire her. I hope she's doing well wherever she is in the world. Last thing I knew is she wanted to travel to Berlin. Who knows what she's doing now. But I wish her nothing but the best, because she deserves it.
But to get back on topic...I always wondered how she managed to do it. She had the aura of a diva, of a superstar. I didn't mind being her shadow, but I always wondered how she managed to do that. I wished I could have asked. I am sure there is a lot of work behind it, with the right parents it may be easier, because you learn it from ground up.
---
Today I was at the bookstore, and there are fewer and fewer mangas, the more often I visit, and it worries me. It's the only place where I can buy them in this small town, and I can't buy it online, so...I wonder how to get the goods. Maybe it's a divine sign that I should frikkin stop spending my money on stuff I probably don't really need to live. But I barely buy myself stuff, I think. At least not as often as others. It's true though- I don't need it need it. With the little money I have, it probably would be better.
On my way back, I noticed a lot of feathers on the ground. Some where too big to be crows or doves (and not the right color either) Maybe a gull? Or a heron. (They are huge! Really impressive...but also a little bit scary)
Imagining a heron flying over the town, where there's no water, is kind of weird though. It didn't rain much, so I can imagine it's difficult for them to find fish, since the water levels of the tiny river over here are very low due to the heat. Or maybe it's easier, because the fish are just lying kind of dead there? Then it would debunk my theory of it being a heron feather. I'm sure there are apps to recognize feathers like there are ones who identify flowers and plants...!
---
I should go buy groceries again too. It's about time. The season for most fruit is almost over...but soon the oranges and mandarines will be back. I can't wait, when it's early in the season, they taste the best. Not many modly ones either in the bunch. It's also heavy to buy potatoes, carrots and oranges when you don't drive a car, but I'll see it as a part of a work out routine (I spend way too much time in front of the computer, I am very aware...but that's a story for another time.)
---
Annnd I think that's about it!
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as much as i loved this little scene, bold of you to assume Melvyn would sit his ass in class or even sign up for classes. I've seen.......... god i've seen teenage melvyn and it was awful. pretty sure he went to high school simply because he was kicked out of the rugby if he didnt attend (which almost happened since he had to repeat a year). tho he needed the good grades to stay??? so yeah maybe he would take your notes but like, waiting for you outside the classroom because he didnt bother set foot in it. all he cares about is rugby and his motorcycle so he would sometimes gives u a ride to thank u for the notes. also he couldnt spell for shit so he'd probably ask u to like proofread everything he writes when he dares to write one paper. tho i really hope his brain evolved and he is no longer like teenage melvyn because i'm about to educate the shit out of him. like i said yesterday, i need help i'm delulu
This delusion is even funnier because mofo will sign up for this class, come right at the end and sit in the chair for like 2 minutes and while the professor is still talking he will whisper "hey, did you get here in time?" and when he gets the little nod he will be like "cool, so...uh... may I borrow your notes?" And then you would turn to him and be like "??" not rude enough to say it but you do wonder "have I met this guy before?"
(buckle up, this answer got away from me like nothing ever has ever EVERRRR gotten away from me)
Turns out he looks the way he looks! And he smiles "so?"
You give in, you have to. You can't bring yourself to say no. Next time you see him he is telling you you should come to one of his games, to which you must be a bit too nerdy for that frat idiot attitude boy (right?) and say something like "I've got cinema club, but good luck!"
It's a friendship and it's cute, honestly it is kind of cute because you quickly realize you only speak to one another when he is asking for notes or for you to help him with a paper, or when he hands you back your notes. At least until the final is around the corner and he asks to join your study sessions (which he arrives to SMELLING LIKE GARBAGE because he has practice right before, but this is not a romance, NO CASSY GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME THIS IS A FRIENDSHIP) he will study for like 10 minutes then ask things completely off topic. At some point you get a tennis ball and throw it around with him because that's the only way he will study - although he does not realize it because he is focused on the ball.
One day he makes a funny comment when answering a question about the materials, he says "oh wait, oh... I know that one! It was in cursive! You highlighted that in pink!" And he proceeds to actually remember :o
AND AND AND and one day you are running late to a lecture (a different class) but you happen to go by the café where Melvyn and his other dude bros hand out before practice and he sees you running like a headless chicken so he comes out and it's cold af btw you are not looking anywhere near cute: nose red and runny, eyes puffy from having just woken up, hair a mess from throwing a hair clip in and gogogoing. He yells that big chested man yell (you know the one) "HEY!" and you stop dead in your tracks, he is smiling and waving. "What's the hurry?"
You blink and look around thinking about making a run for it while the cars are not driving past.
"I overslept!" You yell at him. "I'm late for class!"
"Ohhh..." Melvyn sighs, "I think you'll have to skip," he looks at his phone's screen, "I don't think you'll make it."
You grunt and turn around, waving your arms around "Forget it, I can't afford to skip! I cannot fail, I have a scholarship, you idiot!"
He doesn't mind you calling him an idiot, you have seen him drunk. He has little to hide, honestly.
Before you can cross the road, he pulls you by the arm and you follow him in a quick little walk. "What are you doing! I cannot skip-"
"Let me take you, you have a better chance on the bike"
MOTHERTUCKER TAKES YOU TO CLASS IN A FLASH ON THE BACK OF HIS MOTORCYCLE WITHOUT EVEN ANNOUNCING THIS TO HIS TEAMMATES
Bright side: you get to class on time.
Not that bright side: Melvyn is late to practice, has to run laps and do burpees at the end to make up for it, and his teammates are not teasing him about the little bookworm he dropped everything for that morning. You have no idea of any of these, and he does not tell you.
You hand him a copy of your notes next time you see him. "I made doubles as a thank you."
#I hate how I saw the bait and munch munch bite bite here I am#we can be delulu together it's fun#I was fed dilution and I threw up an entire fanfic cliché overdone trope sorry#asks#cassy tag#melvyn jaminet#and he is not even my favorite rugby big chested man!
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Unbreakable Bond
(A/N): This is based on this post and this tiktok
Summary: A big age gap between Aaron's children doesn't have to mean that they are unable to form a strong bond
Warnings: Mentions of Haley's death and failed relationships
Wordcount: 1.8k
✨Masterlist✨
_________________________________
His life took turns Aaron never expected. It’s not the “Oh, mh, well that was unexpected”-type of turns, I talk about the “God played Cards Against Humanity with angels and decided to make it happen for someone”-type. But looking back he would not want to change a thing.
After Haley and Beth he was convinced that God, the Universe, something out there shared the opinion that romantic love isn’t the right thing for him and Aaron accepted that fact. Even more when he and Jack went into witness protection. I mean, when you are worried about the life of your family being in danger because of a stalker, you don’t think about the beautiful neighbor, who lives next door, right? Right?
Well, without going into too much detail, Hotch did think about her and she about him and vice versa. Everything went good until Aaron received the message that the team found the stalker and that it was safe to come back. He decided to come clean to his girlfriend. They talked about the possibility of moving back to Quantico.
In the end they decided in favor of the move, the final argument was the surprising announcement of her being pregnant. Hotch wants to raise their youngest where his and Jack’s roots are located. But he decides against taking a position at the BAU, instead taking a desk job in order to be more at home. He also has the opportunity to work from home after little (Y/N) was born and continues to do so until she is old enough to go to Kindergarten. Even then he takes two days the week where he stays home. Aaron learned from his decisions and mistakes he made in the past and wants to live up to them and be a better father and husband than before.
And Hotch keeps it to this day, six years later. It’s (Y/N)’s first day of school, while Jack just graduated high school and goes off to college in a few weeks. Even though they have an age gap from twelve and a half years, their parents are sure there are no other siblings with such a strong bond.
Ever since his baby sister’s birth Jack is her biggest supporter, protector and friend. Her first word was his name, though it was more of a “ACK!”, but that’s the best nickname he ever got. As soon as (Y/N) was old enough to comprehend the concept of movies, he introduced her to Star Wars. Since then lightsaber wars out of cardboard pipes are not uncommon. Last Halloween they even dressed up as Chewbakka and Han Solo. You get three guesses on who was who.
“JACK!” (Y/N) runs into her big brother’s room with an excited expression on her face. “Daddy promised to buy me a real lightsaber after I read ten books! With lights and sounds and all! Isn’t that cool?” Jack smiles. Aaron did a similar thing with him. For a certain amount of books he got a reward they discussed beforehand. This way he felt motivated to read and improved writing and reading skills.
“This is awesome. I think that means we have to go book shopping together, what do you think?” (Y/N) is not only the cool kid that has an older brother, she is also the cool kid, whose older brother has a drivers license, a car and a part time job. She nods with big eyes, speechless, because the offer sounds like heaven to her. Getting books and one on one time with Jack after he was really busy with school for weeks? This has to be heaven.
“Ok, then you put your outside clothes on and I’ll tell Dad about our plan.” At that the little girl rushes to her room, not wanting to waste any more time. Jack makes his way down to the kitchen, where Aaron wipes the table from lunch down.
“Dad, I take (Y/N) to this bookstore in DC and we’ll probably go eat ice cream after that. Is that alright?” Hotch looks up at his son. It still feels like yesterday as he told Haley that Gideon is a big no as a baby name. Now he is all grown up and just a few weeks away from the next big chapter in his life.
“Of course, just let me get my wall-” Jack cuts him off. “No need, I want to use this as a kind of goodbye thing. At least until Thanksgiving.” Aaron knows what he means. It’s his last day before he goes off to college and just a couple more until the first classes begin. The family still hasn’t told their youngest exactly what’s going on. Else she would refuse to go to school and go on with her day, insisting on using all the time they have until Jack drives off.
Two hours later the siblings leave the bookstore, both of them having a bag in their hands. Of course Jack's heavier, but both he and the cashier assured (Y/N) that they lift the same amount of weight.
“Uncle Spence will be excited when I tell him that I read Harry Potter, he told me so many good things about it”, the girl gushes. Jack nods, indicating that he is listening. Of course they also picked books that are not that advanced. Still, no sister of his shall grow up without knowing the beauty of the wizarding world. Also, secretly he is hoping for her to turn out as nerdy as he is so they get more things to talk about. His next step is superheroes, especially the Marvel ones.
They converse until they get to an ice cream parlor and order both their usuals. “Do you think you are ready for me to tell you something important?” The older one asks after they sit down at a table. (Y/N) nods, confusion taking over her face.
“Uhm, you know how I graduated from high school? I’m done with school, but I want to get a degree, but for that I have to go to college. It’s pretty far away so I can’t come home for a few months. But I’m back home when Thanksgiving is and also for Christmas.” It doesn’t matter what Jack says, a sad frown has formed on the little one’s face. “Oh. And after Christmas, will you leave again?” He nods and explains when he is off from college and when not.
“We can always skype and write letters. How does that sound? And when you get your first phone, we can even text.” That (Y/N) lights up a bit. For her first year of school she got a stationary set and is eager to use it to this day.
“I’m going to miss you so much”, she says hugging her big brother. Jack pats her back. “I’ll miss you, too.”
The goodbye the next day is a heartfelt matter. Everybody cries, especially (Y/N). She can’t fathom a scenario where her brother isn’t there for her all the time.
The following weeks are also hard for the family. The youngest refuses to sleep alone for the first three days after Jack’s leave. She is more closed off and mainly just does her school work or reads the books he bought for her. By the time Thanksgiving is only away for another two weeks, (Y/N) has read through all of them at least two times.
Her father already ordered the lightsaber he promised her. Unfortunately shipping takes several months, so the little girl still has to wait patiently for her reward to arrive. In the meantime she works on getting the next and she is already pretty close to the comic book collection she wants.
“Sweetheart, can you set the table, please? Your Mom will be here soon from grocery shopping and she will need help getting them from the car into the house”, Hotch calls for his daughter while stirring in a pot.
The little girl nods, putting her stationary set and pens aside to do as her father asked. She is in the middle of answering her brother’s last letter, telling him that she is now the one that usually has to read aloud for the class because of her advanced skill for a first grader.
Just as she sets the last piece of silverware down the doorbell rings. “Sweetie, can you please open it? This should be your mother.” Happily (Y/N) runs up and turns the door knob. Over the last few months she hit a small growing spurt and is finally tall enough to reach it without standing on her tippy toes.
“Mo-” She nearly chokes on her own saliva. The one at the door is definitely not her mother. “JACK!” (Y/N) runs up to him and jumps onto his leg. “Hey Princess. I thought now that you read your books, we need to hold the most amazing lightsaber fight in history.” With a mischievous smile he pulls two from his back, giving one to his baby sister.
It is the most epic fight in history between an elementary schooler and a college boy. They can only be stopped by their parents announcing that it is a tie between both of them and that they have to sit down, else the food gets cold.
The following weeks mostly consist of (Y/N)’s joyous laughs and cuddling with her big brother. She even insists on him sleeping with her in her much smaller bed. On his last night before going back to college, the little girl turns to him in the middle of watching her favorite movie in the living room.
“Do you promise not to forget me when you are away? Because I alway think about you and tell my friends so much about you. I told them you are a hero, my hero, just like Daddy. They wanna meet you because of that.” Jack has to hold back tears at her statement.
“I also think of you so much. All of my friends at college are pretty jealous of me having such a sweet baby sister. Maybe one time you can visit me and I can introduce you to them.” The thought of that makes (Y/N) smile and is a little consolation to the thought of her brother leaving again.
Aaron watches the interaction going down, happy to see the strong bond between his children, despite their age gap. This is nothing like he and Sean were and that is a relief for him and the worries he had in the beginning. It is a sign that he did do some things right as a father.
Taglist:
All works:
@dindjarinsspouse @big-galaxy-chaos @jswessie187
Criminal Minds:
@averyhotchner @mggsprettygirl @herecomesthewriterwitch @ash19871962 @ellyhotchner
#aaron hotch x child!reader#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotch x daughter!reader#aaron hotchner x daughter!reader#aaron hotchner x child!reader#jack hotchner#jack hotchner x sister!reader#jack hotchner x reader#x daughter!reader#x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#aaron hotch#x child!reader
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Presume
Pairing: Tom Riddle x Fem!Reader
Summary: Tom thinks you’re too pretty to be any good at academics. You can imagine his shock when he’s proven wrong.
Word Count: 2k (2,097)
Author’s Note: The idea for this fic was given to me by @bellaswansrealgf. It was such a fun topic to write, so thank you so much bae for coming up with the idea! I’ll definitely be using more of your suggestions in the future.
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Tom Riddle found himself becoming increasingly irritated. How could Professor Slughorn possibly expect him to work with a partner? What kind of fool did Slughorn think he was? Tom was perfectly capable of completing his project himself, and it was rather insulting for his professor to assign someone to help him. And not just anyone. Slughorn had assigned you.
You, the pretty girl, were in no capacity an ideal partner. You were friendly and charming and surely too bubble-headed to know a thing about potions. You were probably irritating and selfish and vain, too. Tom would have rather been partnered up with the clown from Gryffindor than with you.
“Tom, right?” you asked as you took a seat next to him. You were dressed in neat robes and had nicely styled hair. You probably spent all morning on it.
“Yes,” he replied curtly without so much as a glance your way. He began flipping his textbook to the desired page and scanning it with his eyes.
“I’m Y/N,” you introduced.
Tom ignored you as he continued to read the page.
“So, what kind of potion do you think we should make?” you asked him, opening your own book.
Once again, Tom didn’t bother to look up or respond.
“Hello?” you tried again.
He let out an exasperated sigh. “Listen, I know potions is probably not your area of expertise, so it’s best if you just sit there and let me work.”
“Excuse me?” you asked, surprised at how this stranger could claim to already know you without having ever spoken to you. “How would you know if I’m not good at potions?”
Tom scoffed. “If you haven’t noticed, you don’t exactly look like you’d be much of an academic.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you questioned, starting to get offended.
“Well, I’m the best in the class,” Tom said like it was the most natural thing to come out of his mouth. “Professor Slughorn probably sent you here so that I could babysit you. You can’t be any good if you need me as a mentor.”
“I don’t need you as a mentor,” you told him. “Professor Slughorn wanted us to work together for this assignment.”
“Like I said,” he replied, turning back to his book, “maybe you should let me handle the assignment.”
You were beyond aggravated. How could someone who barely knows you make such assumptions about you? You were more than adept in potions, and it was unfair of him to shut you down without letting you prove your skills.
“You realize this assignment is worth 25% of our grade, don’t you?” you asked him as you crossed your arms.
“Precisely,” he answered. “Which is why I won’t let you mess it up.”
You had never met a more arrogant person.
“If you’re going to be this way,” you declared, “I’ll just ask Slughorn if I can work alone. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience the great Tom Riddle.”
Tom breathed a sigh of relief as you packed your belongings and walked away. You were attractive, sure, but you were also annoying. He was glad to be rid of anyone who didn’t let him take charge.
Slughorn allowed the two of you to work separately. To Tom’s approval, you set up your station far away from his. He almost pitied you. It couldn’t be easy for someone like you to complete an entire project by yourself. People like you only cared about their appearances or what the latest gossip was. There was no way you could make any of the complicated potions on the list of options for the assignment without help.
~
By the end of the week, Slughorn had finished grading the students’ potions and their accompanying essays. Tom, ever so confident in his abilities, was shocked when he didn’t receive a perfect score.
“What did I do wrong, Professor?” he asked after class had been dismissed. “I could have sworn I didn’t miss anything.”
“You forgot to crush the bay leaves before you put them in,” Slughorn explained. “But not to worry, my boy. You chose a highly complex concoction. It is almost guaranteed that any student who attempts to recreate it will forget at the very least one step.”
“Did anyone else choose that potion?” Tom wondered.
Slughorn nodded with a twinkle in his eye.
“And did anyone get it right?” Tom asked. He was doubtful that anyone in the class could have succeeded at something he failed to perfect, but it didn’t hurt to ask.
“That’s for me to know, my boy,” the teacher answered. Seeing the frustrated look on Tom’s face, he chuckled and added, “Just know that you shouldn’t judge your partners so prematurely.”
Tom spent the majority of the night ruminating on Slughorn’s words. Could it be that you were the student who had gotten the perfect score on the potion he had attempted? He refused to believe it. Slughorn must have been referring to another student, one that Tom was paired with in the past. You couldn’t possibly be the partner in question.
~
It had been weeks since Tom came in second for the first time in his life. He convinced himself that it couldn’t have been you who bested him. Of course, he speculated who the true victor could be, but he couldn’t put his finger on who in the class could be worthy of such high marks.
Eventually, the time came for the annual examination preparation. Professor Slughorn’s students were assigned a series of practice exams to help them prepare for the actual ones. Each practice test focused on a different area within potions, and it was the students’ job to be well-versed in all of them.
At the beginning of every week, a new practice exam was passed out, and the grades for the previous week’s exam was posted on a roster at the front of the class.
Tom never bothered with making a show of checking his grades, knowing fully well that he would always be at the head of the class. But with the newfound knowledge of a possible competitor, he couldn’t quell his curiosity.
Making his way to the front of the room with the usual throng of Slytherin boys, he displayed no sign of concern. Why should the best in the year have to worry about some halfwit who ran into a bit of luck one time?
His air of indifference was quickly squashed, however, when he approached the posted practice exam scores and saw that his was the second highest. Second? That couldn’t be right. Tom Riddle never came in second. Who was first? Who could feasibly best Tom Riddle at a potions examination? The most brilliant student in all of Hogwarts, and in his best subject too?
He was horrified beyond comparison when he saw none other than your name at the pinnacle of the score sheet.
You.
Impossible. There was no chance that the bubbly girl with the face of an angel, er, a moron, could ever have received such excellent marks.
He’d seen you around, and you were most definitely not the kind of girl who cared about your performance in school. You were always smiling with your friends or tucking your hair behind your ear or dazzling a crowd with an extraordinary story. When you weren’t smoothing down your clothes or checking your made-up face, you were befriending the professors, something only stupid people needed to do.
So how could you have gotten a higher score than him? There must have been a mistake. He would have to ask Slughorn about it after class.
As he walked back to his seat, he glanced at where you were positioned, a table not too far from his own. You had already started on your assignment for the day, making quick work of the cutting and crushing of ingredients. Sure enough, you were dripping with the grace and beauty of someone who most likely didn’t know the difference between reed and foxtail.
How could one possibly be proficient in any academic subject when they looked like that? You probably spent more time shining your shoes than studying for exams. Then how did you beat him, and twice?
He watched you work for the remainder of the period. To his surprise, you were doing everything correctly. You never added a drop too much or a sprig too little. You stirred with precision and knew what color to look for in the brew. You seemed to know exactly what you were doing. Were you truly more intelligent than he had originally presumed?
Still unconvinced, he approached Professor Slughorn after dismissal to question the scores from the most recent exam.
Slughorn only sent him a mysterious look before answering, “Everything is as it should.”
-
After the third week of coming in second place, Tom decided that it was enough. It was time he put his troubles to rest and find out for himself what sort of witchcraft was in play.
“Are you cheating?” he abruptly asked you the moment you took your seat. Professor Slughorn was not yet in class, giving the students ample time to converse before lessons began.
Startled, you stared back at him. “What?”
“You must be receiving help on your practice exams or at the very least borrowing notes from someone,” he stated matter-of-factly. “So tell me. Who is it?”
You had had enough of this arrogant git’s behavior. “What makes you think I need help? Is it so hard to believe that you are not the only person in this room who can do well in school?”
“Well I- you see, you’re not exactly the sort to put much thought to academics,” he defended.
“And what sort is that?” you questioned.
“You know, the vain, pretty lot,” he said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’d imagine you spend more time on your appearance than on your academics.”
You gaped at the boy before you. “You think I’m pretty? And before you go on, my appearance has nothing to do with my drive to excel in scholarly affairs. I’ll have you know I’m more than capable of receiving just as good of marks as you are, despite what you think.”
“Then work with me on today’s partner project,” he challenged.
“Excuse me?” The last thing you were expecting was for the high-and-mighty Tom Riddle to want anything to do with you after his blatant rudeness.
“If you’re truly as good as you say—”
“You mean as good as the scores prove,” you cut in.
Tom rolled his eyes. “If you’re really that good, show me. Demonstrate your skills on today’s potion, and I’ll believe you.”
So the two of you spent the class working together on the assigned potion. Tom made sure to stand back so that you could have the freedom to do things on your own, silently hoping that you would make a mistake. But you didn’t.
Your potion was perfect. There was not an herb out of place or a drop not potent enough. Everything was as it should.
You had clearly proven to Tom that you were a skilled student, worthy of his second glance. You only hoped that the self-righteous twat would realize not to judge people before knowing them.
“While I hate to admit my own shortcomings, you were right,” Tom conceded.
You smiled at his admittance. “Thanks, Tom. I’m glad you learned something from this experience.”
He had expected to feel more disdain at the fact that he had finally found his match. He was waiting for annoyance, jealousy, some spark of rage at being second-best. But all he felt was a strange sensation.
You were quite honestly brilliant, and he couldn’t remember a time when he genuinely thought that about a fellow student. You were quick-witted, sharp-tongued, and unafraid to back down from a challenge. You stood up to him despite barely knowing anything about him, other than that he was a royal pain to you. And, not to mention, you were quite a sight to behold.
It was no secret that Tom kept to himself more often than not. Sure, he had a group of peers who respected him — whether out of fear or genuine liking is up for debate — but he never got to know anyone on a personal level. He never let anyone get too close or see him for someone other than the shining pupil with big plans. But, for once, he wanted someone to share his genius with.
He intended to make you that person.
—
Part 2
#tom riddle x y/n#tom riddle fluff#tom riddle x you#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle#tom riddle fanfiction
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ok you needing a second to understand that tumbel in tumblr saved me from my embarrassment for having misread your message xD hell yeah haha
maybe you could write us a lil post about your favorite character & why they are that :D (soz for not doin it myself i‘m not feeling like putting anything out there today)
and don‘t decide that you won‘t ever contribute to a bigger project that touches people yet !!!!!! YOU‘RE SO YOUNG you‘ve got the whole world waiting for you and you‘re ALREADY so good at art though. your art is already touching people, no reason why that shouldn‘t work if you should ever work with others on a bigger project!!! GET OUT THEREEE i mean also take your time but IF YOU WANT THAT ABSOLUTELY SHOOT YOUR SHOT KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN FOR OPPORTUNITIES i‘d personally love to see your work in something bigger :D nothing‘s set in stone <3 <3 <3 !!!
aww thank you so much anon! idk who you are but youre so kind to me... thats so nice!
about the whole future thing... i know i have a lot of time but i think because of some stuff coming up soon (when i leave school) im stressed about the future and my decisions in it entirely. idk what im gonna do if i need to go to the military lol like what job to take... i havent started driving and i dont understand shit about all the other stuff thats attached with going to the military im just stressed in general. i dont wanna end up staying in my parents house forever ig.
but i have a lot of time and i know that even if my connection with my friends fade away when they get recruited (which is... also something that could happen... oh god i dunno how to make irl friends) i still have my family, and probably the online world too. if i open commissions im pretty sure id get some work, but i dont think i could do that too much cuz i hate drawing things i dont wanna draw.
but, again, who knows what will happen. ill be fine haha, especially if there are people like you who care enough to write messages like these. most of my online friends are from twt so its always nice to see a tumblr fan <3 thank you anon.
(im realizing how depressed this is all making me sound like i promise its just my school hammering in the importance of the military signs up like i dont even know what part of the mess ill be in most of the time theyre teaching shit that doesnt concern me. im okay, im not dying!!)
now to actually talk about my favorite character! woohoo! happy topic change!
for the two people who read this and the one thats actually gonna read till the end, im putting a cut so this isnt annoying on ur dash (note to anon: this post is so so fucking long i know u prob asked me my fav character to cheer me up but dont force urself to read this whole thing just to be polite lmaooo but id appreciate it if anyone did cuz holy shit)
something that ive realized a while back is that usually when it comes to favorite characters of media, i have a type.
when i made this the character i had in mind where souda (danganronpa), aiura (saiki k) and teru (mp100).
after making the tweet i also thought of denji (csm) who fits right in, and also bakugou (mha) who doesnt, but he looks like half of the characters i did mention lol.
i think the whole social but nice thing came to because of all those shows and stories where the popular kid in school is the mean bully.. maybe i dislike this trope cuz i havent personally experienced any kind of bullying in my school, even as an observer so i cant relate to the experience of having this type of antagonist. the worst it ever got for me was when in fifth grade a girl made fun of me for crying and no one laughed. (shes still in my class over six years later and shes really nice not ufhduh were not friends but were friendly and i dont hold a grudge). maybe its just cuz im wholesome so i dislike any type of negative character. maybe.
that might sound stupid cuz i said i like bakugou, who i used to think of constantly, like for the entirety of 2021 he was in my mind it was annoying. but idk man not all my favs fit into this category ((shinguuji, saihara, yuuko, tweek (who also looks like them! what the fuck!) yuudai from sakana (why are they all blond?!? and men. more female characters what the fuck) barf bag (yes im an object show fan good morning)))
anyways. i like the popular but nice trope is what im saying. why are they all simps? i dont know honestly only one of the characters that i mentioned at the start is simping for someone i ship them with (terumob) (but the reason i even like teru in the first place might be cuz i saw terumob art, thought it was cute, and decided to search more art. i do that with a lot of characters when i dont watch the show (from the original list ive watched all of saiki k, watched playthroughs of the first 2 dr games, watched like a season of mp100 years ago and watched like 2 seasons of mha even before that. i get my filling of plot and character from meme videos, fanart, and fanfics. i understand enough.) and i get hooked on the ship (more examples include akiangel, kiribaku and the two gay boys from evangelion. a lot of homo happening. also whatever the fic version of this is but with denji and yoshida).
about the simping and the bakugou being mean-- i accept my character's flaws!!! i dont erase them!!! bakugou is an asshole and thats why i wanna see him get punished and learn from his mistakes, even if its a little hard! a great fic where this happens (but isnt the main storyline) is quirk: knife! which is probably my favorite non ship heavy fic, check it out!
my fav characters have flaws but just like how you need to embrace flaws in the people you love, whether that means helping them get better or accepting them, i embrace these flaws cuz it makes them who they are! souda, denji and auira wouldnt be themselves if they werent pushing the lines with their crushes and idk what the fuck bakugou would be if he wasnt what he was.
alright lets actually start talking about my favorite character now.
so, right now, my favorite character of all time is-- ding ding ding-- kazuichi souda! who i already mentioned.
look at him! idk if the one and a half people who are reading this know him, but if u know denji, who is a more popular character atm, then imagine that but more wimpy.
the first time i encountered this character i was watching game grump's playthrough of the second game. i watched their first and enjoyed it but didnt really join the fandom. i didnt know anything about the second so i was going in blind like arin and dan, so theres a chance that whatever i thought about the characters was biased and connected to how they feel.
at first i really liked his design. a lot of the characters have small and complicated details but souda is probably the most simple design, not including hinata, but unlike him souda has a lot of bright colors that draw the eye in! i dont particularly prefer designs with sharp teeth but i think its a pretty nice quirk, since its another part of him that makes him look intimidating. theres a headcanon that he filed themselves but i honestly think he wouldnt do that, and prefer the headcanon that its genetic, even if it makes less sense. but danganronpa, and their designs, dont make sense. i think these little strange quirks are better when they arent thoughtout or have reason. he has sharp teeth becuz. just cuz.
if u dont know what happens in the game im just gonna say that the plot doesnt really matter, cuz really the only growth souda experiences is with his relationship to hinata (the main character) and his trust to his survivor friends that makes him stronger and convinces him to leave the virtual reality. im not gonna be talking about the plot in detail. i also havent watched the anime so im not gonna get into whatever he does there. i do know that he makes some cute faces in it, which is pretty awesome.
but, yeah, besides his design, at the start i truthfully didnt really like him lmaooo he was kind of stalkerish towards sonia (ill prob get into their relationship later), he is also a wimp but honestly... i get it hes stuck in a killing game i would be scared of anything too. i feel like of all of the cast, from all the games, souda is probably one of the best depictions of an actual teenager that might exist. of course he has his obnoxious moments, but in a way that a dumb teenager would have. i dont know when i started liking him, maybe after discovering soudam? hmm.
kazuichi is the ultimate mechanic, which is one of the talents in the game that actually gets used? he makes the communicators in chap 3 and fixes the elevator in chap 4. besides that, he is also important to the second chapter since he helped tie up komaeda and he also brought hinata to the diner, though that has nothing to do with his talent.
he learned to be a great mechanic from working at his dad's repair shop or garage or whatever its called. its mentioned that their family is pretty poor, and i think the concept of a character being at one point or another un-wealthy pretty interesting (did that come strange? sorry). he worked to help get their family money he is a good boy, he mentions being better than his dad too. he doesnt look like the typical mechanic, except from the greasy hair and jumpsuit (im talking specifically about his color scheme) and thats another one of those quirks that make no sense but i just like haha
speaking of his parents, lets talk about a popular headcanon that fans have of souda's dad (before we start i wanna state that my opinion on this topic and the topic of souda relationship towards sonia and his trust issues were all stem from an analysis video of him on youtube, if u know u know, so if i want someone more competent talking about it go there, but if u dont care enough to research it or ure only reading because u like me and wanna hear me talk about something i care about dw im gonna go into detail about these anyways
the hc is that souda's dad physically abuses him. i wanna talk about why dont agree (if u wanna skip this part ill put *** when it ends so just go there <3). this hc stems from a story he tells hinata in one of the free time events where he didnt go to his previous school trips because he wanted to save money for his family, even though he really wanted to go, and he says something along the lines of how his dad "beat the crap outta him" when he didnt go.
do i think his dad hit him? probably. i dont really know how common this type of discipline is in japan, or in places with more un-wealthy people so this might be normal to them. does that make that okay? obviously not. but if the only example we get for him hitting souda is after souda does something good for the family in his own expense, it wont make sense for his father to be mad about it, right? i think he was upset his son had to give up his happiness for them, even if it was to save money. the analysis vid said it might be souda just using more dramatized words for it. He was hesitant to tell hinata that he was picked on at school, i dont think hed just admit to being abused so casually. i think his dad might have smacked him from time to time when he was younger but probably stopped the more souda grew up. if his dad really hated him he wouldnt beat him after doing something that would benefit the dad, is what im saying.
also i think that the way souda acts doesnt reflect someone who would be regularly abused... its not like im an expert, but if we for example look at tsumiki, who was canonically abused and bullied regularly, we can see a great difference. yes, souda tends to be caught off guard or scared of stuff, but usually its less of other people and more about the situation around him. he was scared of monokuma and the monobeasts and the morning after the killing gama announcement. he's also generally not that apologist about his stupid behavior... for example he doesnt feel remorse for tying up komaeda, and even threatens to tie up kuzuryuu too. i also think he said something about wanting to punch one of the other guys? this might be cuz he tends to blurt out his thoughts stupidly and doesnt know how to hold his tongue (something that, if he was abused, would probably get him in trouble) but he never recoils from what he said. he whines about being judged, like after letting slip that he was thinking of sonia in a creepy way, but he never goes back and is afraid that someone might punish him or hurt him. like how tsumiki apologizes for the smallest thing at claims that she'll take any punishment.
it might also be because i generally dont like hcing characters with abusive parents haha. i know for a lot of characters its a part of what makes them who they are, but if thats not the case i feel like its always to excuse the character from some frowned upon trait they have.
its a bit difficult to explain so ill take an example from a different character from a different show. todoroki from mha was abused as a child, and its a part of what makes him him, and its a big part of his character, even if hes not in that situation anymore. i wont deny it. now, theres a hc that some people like to believe about bakugou's parents, specifically his mom, being abusive. this isnt canon. first of all everyone is entitled to hc what they want but a lot of the time i feel this is a way to explain his asshole behavior (also i just love mitsuki). i dont like excusing his fucked up actions and blaming his parents. i think that him being an asshole from the ideals that he himself made is kind of what made him interesting. he believes in what he learned from his own experiences that he and only he had. his stupid child thinking made him the gross person he is, and thats way more interesting than blaming his parents' behavior, like we can do with reason in todoroki's case. todoroki acts antagonistic at the start of the show because of the pressure his dad put on him.
now going back to souda, by making his dad abusive a lot of people linked that to him being a creep towards sonia. while i do see how his parents and their expectations might be a motivator, i prefer to blame souda himself for his wrong actions. i dont want to excuse his actions like that. its more interesting to see him grow from the ideals and reasonings he made himself.
***
now let's talk about his relationship with hinata! woo!
canonically, hinata is the person souda is closes to in the game, even though most of the time hinata is just tolerating his stupid behavior. except in his free time events maybe. their relationship is probably the biggest character development souda gets.
lets talk about his past a little more.
souda tells hinata that he used to be picked on for looking like a nerd. he had black hair (but i hc it more like dark brown, because reminder this is a post gushing about my fav character first and an canalization second), brown eyes (in hc world dull pale brown cuz a lot of the char's eyes are dull and pale colored) and glasses (hc: thin and rectangle shaped). he's not really a nerd... except that he's probably good at math and that type of things, since he builds machines and all. if i remember correctly, he says his bullied got away with what they did because he tends to be naive and trusts too easily. he was also used by his best friend that cheated off of his test, blamed souda for it (which he didnt really mind, showcasing how much not a nerd he is if he doesnt care about his studying and tests like that) and then kinda ghosted after feeling bad. but at the time souda was really heartbroken and felt betrayed, this whole situation gave him trust issues because that his naive heart cant tell when someone really wants to be his friend or if they'll drop him when they dont need him anymore.
souda and hinata start off being friends because souda didnt like any of the other guys enough (fair enough, hinata is the most normal one lol) and he tolerated him enough to go to the diner on the second island to spy on the girls with him. at the time kuzuryuu was still an asshole to everyone, but the two do get friendlier after the second trial (survivor boys bff agenda. i did say "bff coded" didnt i?)
souda tells hinata that after his ex best friend left him, he kinda went through something-- he dyed his hair, put in contacts, and pierced his ears (which i like to think was really scare to him) (and i assume this is when he started to wear bright colors, but i like to think he was always a fan of them (aiura and teru kinnie)) to make himself more intimidating (like i said in the list! remember the list?!) so that he wont be picked on. i assume the bullying he experienced was more emotional that physical, and he was probably called names for his nerdy appearance and was made to do tasks for toxic friends and somethings like that. tsumiki was physically bullied and she has bandages all over her design while souda rolls up all his sleeves and has his collar bone exposed while there is no marks on him. maybe he's have some scars from beginner's mechanical mistakes but thats hc territory.
anyways, because of his appearance change, he got some attention from flirtations girls and said that it had intimidated him. i imagine that while he was in his nerd looking mode, he didnt get much attention from the other sex so when they only started approaching him with the assumption he's some punk badass, that was probably a bit overwhelming for him and thats why he has a strained relationship with the female sex. he does kind of sexualize the girls, specifically in the second chapter, but honestly its not really that bad. it kind of even feels a little forced, like he said nanami had "huge jugs" and wonders if this "is what moe gap is" or something like that but he doesnt even say anything about wanting her lmao. the only girl he really shows any interest is sonia, and he mostly gushes about her beauty, instead of her body. not that thats really any better ofc.
he does get along with some of the girls or at least acts normal and not incel-y towards them, like whenever he's angry at saionji, when he felt awkward next to tsumiki or when he made minimaru for owari (though he did mainly do that to impress sonia). when alter ego enoshima suggest putting him between her boobs or whatever batshit crap she said he just yelled he's get crushed, so like. good for him for not being toooo bad. so yeah i do think there are reasons why souda's best friend woudlnt be a girl (for now, at least) and thats why it really is hinata.
and while hinata has other friends, his and souda's connection is special <3 some examples: he is friends with nanami, but they dont really get each other, or at least hinata doesn't feel too connected at her at times cuz shes like a robot and doesnt really get emotions to the full extent. canonically, his and komaeda's relationship is just not... bros, yknow? whatever it is its not "bros". he and souda are bros. i know that he and kuzuryuu consider each other brothers but i feel like while the friendship they have is great, hinata would be more comfortable just letting loose and being stupid with souda. they could connect by being stupid together and distracting one another from the bad in the world by being fun. cuz souda can be fun when he isnt stressed.
but since souda is an emotional character (i dunno if i mentioned this, if u didnt know souda beforehand hes emotional as shit and cries constantly, my beloved) they can get close the two of them emotionally and are empathetic enough to be able to comfort each other. that is, when souda trusts his enough to do that.
thats right. as much as id like to say souda is loyal like a dog, he doesnt really show that in the game lol. because of his experience with his ex friend, souda has trust issues, which i think i already touched upon (idk this is so fucking long im tryna go thru this one topic at a time but good god) and these issues come up in his and hinata's relationship, mainly chap 4. to put it simply cuz honestly the plot doesnt really matter in this context: souda suspects hinata to be a traitor, and because in chap 4 the characters are not allowed to eat, this probably makes him more stressed and causes him to think even more rationally. after the chap is over, in souda's last free time event, he invites hinata to the beach and order him to punch himself.
his actions are really silly here, but basically: hinata shows in souda trust, which makes souda feel like a bad friend, because he couldnt bring himself to trust hinata even though hinata didnt do anything wrong. he feels that their friendship is unfair and that he's the cause of this problem. so i guess he knows he'll get into an argument or a fight because of it, or maybe he wants to give hinata a reason to not trust him so he bring hinata to the beach so they could fist fight. but souda doesnt like to harm people cuz soda is a good boy tm so he asks hinata to do the work for him (which he does not do lol. they communicate and talk like normal friends). this is where souda tells hinata about his past being bullied, after in the last free time event hinata said he could see souda hanging out with the cool kids, so this is where he confides that hes not a cool kid. anyways souda comes to the conclusion that hes more scared of being a bad friend and a coward because of his trust issued that actually being betrayed, and tells hinata that he'll trust him. hooray!
in my mind they are suchhhh good friends. i dont mind shipping souda with a lot of the characters, but it think their friendship is the most important to me. i love them!
now lets get into his relationship with sonia!
i do, in fact, think that his crush on her is fake. i do think he believes in it. but he does not realize that the created a version of her brought on by her general politeness, her status as a princess and her beauty, in his mind that every day strays farther away from the real sonia. he denies her liking of the occult and other scary stuff that turns him off and he acts shocked when she admits to being a virgin (yikes. at least he doesnt really shame her. i think it just ruins his image of her-- again, yikes-- but he ignores it mostly. like he ignores her, the real her, most of the times)
i dont know why he needs a romantic relationship specifically so desperately, but i can think of why he wants that puppy love admiration that he has for her. she, or at least the way he makes her in his mind, is wildly out of her league. sure he wants a girlfriend, but deep down he knows hell never get her. thats why when she turns him down again and again he only gets hurt for like a minute. she even suggests she would rather he be the blackened in the 4th trial and he gets over it pretty quickly. this is the reason he wants to like someone out of his reach so much-- because he cant get hurt from her. he isnt being betrayed or heartbroken like his ex best friend did to him (yes this is about the trust issues again) because he never expected to be with her in the first place. by expecting failure by chasing a girl that is so so out of his league (a pretty perfect princess) he knows what he gets when hes turned down. to him, this is better than actually making an effort with someone he is genuinely attached to because in that case he might actually get his feelings hurt. we see this with his relationship with hinata, though it isnt in a romantic sense. sadly, after they become close friends, he still chases after sonia, but that might be because the player isnt guaranteed to play all of souda's free time events.
this stuff probably will take time for souda to understand. ofc this doesnt really justify his actions and creepy behavior towards her... i like to think that at some point (i constantly forget that dr is a game about killing each other and the apocalypse, but ig this can take place in here too since they both survive) he understands where his problem stem from, maybe with a conversation with hinata or kuzuryuu and he learns and he asks forgiveness from sonia and changes his behavior. the long and hard way!!! my boy did something stupid and he has to make up for it!!!! he will take responsibility because thats what good character writing is!!
itll probably be difficult to come to terms that the girl in his mind, that i do believe he actually fell in love with, is not real. he will cope <3
briefly i'd like to mention souda's and kuzuryuu's relationship i think they are bffs #2 honestly i feel that the both of them plus hinata could be the best trio they are such wholesome guys from all corners of the bro spectrum let the be friends<333 idk maybe even add owari. owari and souda sibling energy <3 this is just hc territory at this point. mioda and souda sibling energy!!!!! for more kuzuryuu and souda friendship read the fic Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi's Guide to Despair Disease: A How-To Take Care of Your Friends(?) Without Spiraling Out Of Control Story. still a wip.
hmmm that was a lot. lets talk about some hcs cuz believe it or not i dont just think of his as what he is canonically, but also what he could be!
ok lets talk about appearances (still canon atm:) he is short-- one of the shortest guys in the cast cuz fuyuhiko and teruteru dont count (thats a plus) and he is, sadly, pretty ripped. it makes since cuz he prob carries heavy stuff and moves his arms a lot for his talent of being a mechanic but when a (male) character is TOO ripped and not for a good reason (for example theres a good reason why nidai or oowada are physically strong cuz of their talents, and some characters are just himbos that deserve it like momota) i just look at them like :|. but it think souda deserves some strong arms <3 he is a cuddler. he would. i just dont think he's impressively ripped. like i think he could sprint fast, but not for long, and that girls wouldnt flawk him for his arms (if they already knew who he was) cuz all in all he is still a wimp loser and he will stay as such, please and thank you.
im a big fan of his narrow eyes. theyre just. dont make sense on him i love it. just like the sharp teeth, he is blessed with looking the opposite of his personality.
now lets talk about post canon appearances! in the world of canon, where the most tragic event in history happens and they were a part of the despair refinements and they live the neo world program (i always forget they dont live in my lil modern day normal aus, ugh), i think he would wake up still looking like how he did in his depair era. idk how long theyre like that but this is my personal hc: hair that reaches his chest, some ugly dulled down pink still sticking to the tips of his messy hair, no hat </3 but his hair is long enough that he doesnt have that hedgehog thing going on </3, no contacts, no glasses, probably scars over his arms and one over the side of his lips like that rio penguin from madagascar (also curse that show for making my tiny stupid child brain think there are penguins in the desert. at least there are such a thing as beach penguins... hmm). i think he would cut his hair to be shorter that it is in canon, a bit longer than hajime's and would resemble saihara's except brown, parted and no ahoge. he wold be dispensation by the length. he would also wear a cap (the normal way) and with his natural colors back, he would look very snuggble :)) he would hug everyone he would be the comfort giver at least to the survivors (this is the part where u realize how insame i am for him lol)
in a world where the end of it didnt happen, i feel like he would feel kind lonely for a while after school, and wouldnt care enough to wear contacts and would go back to glasses, and he wouldnt dye his hair (i just really like his naturality okay i know i said i liked him at first for his colors but this is character growth! he is learning that he doesnt need to be intimidating to get friends!!!) his hair would be a little longer than canon but not by much. i just have this au where he works in an office and there he meets kamukura (who, personality wise is just hinata but depressed) and they become bffs dont at me, and this is how he looks in that au, wearing a button down without the tie and the sleeves rolled up. i do think hed wear obnoxious colors in his free time tho <3
maybe i should get into ships a little? mostly i shipped him with tanaka because i love me some rivals to lovers that isnt angst filled and is mostly just petty. theys either be salty towards each other or tanaka would be very intense in his friendship and souda would be tsundere-ish, not the obnoxious type tho. imagine how denji acts towards yoshida. (denji and souda are actually really alike. before i knew anything about csm my twt mutual told me id prob like denji cuz i like souda and.. well he was right)
but recently i dont really focus on shipping souda with anyone as much as i focus on his friendship with hinata (am i the only one who watched gg compilations and put their faces behind the silly conversations? like i imagine their sprites laughing while the video plays. is that weird? them and also saihara&momota. cuz theyre the same relationship!!! tactful mc and their friendly dumb bro! they!!!). also if u recall i made that drawing of souda with a bunch of ships so its not like loyal lol.
also why are souda and tanaka together constantly in the anime... i think its the end song where theres a slide show of all the characters in class in places like a picnic and the beach and stuff and the two of them are almost together. theyre at the very least friends. that dynamic where they both look intimidating but theyre both so fucking stupid. frienemies. <333 they are so <333 theyd be friedns at least!!! thank you for the anime for realizing that.
i also like to imagine that he and tsumiki would be friends <3 they were both bullied, they both cry a lot and arent really taken seriosuly, at least when it comes to their emotions. i think theyd hug and cry together and be friends :) also as couple they could be very cute.
i dont really know what more to say... i think this is it! i dont know what about kazuichi souda makes me love him so much. he is flawed but not to the point of being unlikable. he is unique but can easily be related to! i care about him so much... the amount of aus i come up and put him in... i dont post so much about him, but know he is my love. ofc i dont have romantic feelings for him some ppl just thirst over their favs i wanna preface that aint the case. not cuz of his age (im close to him in age) but cuz i just... dont feel and romantic or thristy feelings towards anyone so istg if anyone says something stupid to me about that.
thats all! i think this is the longest post ive ever made? when i got this ask last night i thought id write about all those characters i mentioned at the start but then when i went to bed i thought about my answer and realized i have a lot to say lol.
to the one person who actually read until the end, if u even exist (who knows myabe this was for nothing, i still had fun), you're insane. and i hope u have a great rest of ur day. if u didnt know who souda was before this... well u certainly do now (also why did u read this?) sometimes i just gotta rant about something i adore haha. its been a while since i went all out cuz me and my irl dont watch the same shows. i hope i made whoever read this love souda! at least a little!
this post is 5787 words long... im not rereading this
#this post is an investment#kazuichi souda#character analysis#also this is not proofread so expect a bunch of typos haha
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how the evans would act when they have a crush on u ^^
How The Evans Act When They Have A Crush On You & How They React When You Tell Them You Like Them Too
Award for the longest title goes tooooo... me!
JAMES SUCKS BUT I MAKE UP FOR IT BY DOING BOTH KYLE’S AND A DETAILED KIT
Two other requests-
Could I please request how the Evans would react to their best friend (reader) admitting they're in love with them?
Heyo! I’m not sure how this would go but how would the Evan’s react to a nervous/insecure reader confessing to them?
-I hope this is satisfactory, even though I don’t think it’s what you two wanted<3
Enjoy! :)
--
Tate
-Would always just be interested in you
-Wanting to help you, watch you, talk to you, just constantly be around you
-But he’d also be insecure whether he was annoying you, so occasionally he would make himself invisible and just watch you
-Whatever hobbies you had, he’d love to watch you do them, paint, draw, write, play games
-If you played any instrument he would love to lay on your bed and listen to you, no matter how good or bad you were
-He would leave little sweet messages on the chalkboard and leave little post-it notes for you to find
-They would have fun little facts about birds or other trivial stuff but you would find them cute
-The occasional fact about something romantic, like ‘Every time you kiss somebody, your heart beat increases by 10-15 beats per minute’
-He might go a little far and leave a message like ‘Your dress looked pretty’, which you would find creepy since you didn’t know Tate was a ghost
Kit
-He thought of ways to tell you how he felt but because it seemed like your family was gonna live in the murder house for a while, cause you were all settling in well, he didn’t want to risk losing his friendship with you, since you were the only ghost with whom he really got along
-You walked down to the basement and said his name in a sing song voice, “Tateeeee”, “Come out come out wherever you are!”
-He showed up and you asked him if he wanted to go out on a real date
-He was obviously nervous, because you didn’t know yet that he was a ghost, but when he hesitated and you looked upset, he said yes right away
-You ran up and hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, making him blush and laugh, and whilst you were at school, he got some things ready and got candles and a table cover so make your kitchen look like a restaurant
-He ordered McDonalds delivery and got your chicken nuggets under a serving platter for effect
- “We are dining on, nuggets of the chicken”
-Although you were a little disappointed and wanted to go out on a real date with him, you found his effort cute
-He definitely played footsie with you under the table the whole date
-Definitely walked you to your room
- “Well… this is me…”
- “Just wanted to make sure you got home safe”
-Kissed you
oh my god I got so carried away
-You would first meet Kit when you first come and move to Massachusetts
-One day you want to venture out and get an taxi to go to town, only a few minutes later to realise you don’t have your wallet
-You awkwardly tell the driver that if takes you back home quickly, you can get money and you will pay him right away
-But since Boston men aren’t usually so sweet, he just kicks you out, leaving you to wander the motorway alone late at night, far away from your home and hoping to quickly find somewhere to go
-Eventually you stumble upon a gas station, and as you walk up, a hand appearing on your shoulder makes you automatically turn around and push whoever touched you to the ground
-The man in blue uniform gets up slowly with his hands up defensively, “Hey hey, didn’t mean to startle ya, miss”
-You apologise, feeling stupid for this kind of encounter, but he doesn’t seem to mind as much as you’d think
- “It’s always nice to see a woman able to protect herself”, he smiles
-He offers to drive you home, and you thank him dearly, explaining to him that you don’t have a car yet, having only just moved here
-He offers to take you to buy one, knowing an awful lot about cars, and to convince you further, tells you that any man working in a car salon will try to sell a single lady a piece of junk for a high price
-You agree, thinking that the offer is sweet, and he takes you to buy yourself a car, to make the date even more fun, Kit tells you to pretend you’re an old married couple
- “Miss Walka over here needs a car, good Sir”
-At some point while looking at cars, Kit holds your hand and you don’t even notice
-He negotiates a good deal with the salesman, and you get a car together
- “Your husband just got you an awfully good deal, Madam, he’s a man who deserves a good meal and a cold beer if I’ve ever seen one”, the salesman laughs, signing the last of the papers before handing Kit the keys to your car. “Oh, he’ll get more than that”, you say to tease Kit, before smiling at him sweetly. Kit blinks at you, before turning back to the salesman and shaking his hand. As the two of you walk away, Kit looks at you in disbelief, the thought of your dirty words clearly plastered in his mind. “Did ya mean what you said back there?”. He says, as he opens the car door for you. “Whatever do you mean?”, you act stupid. “I was just pretending to be your wife, Mr Walka”
-When he has a crush on you, he gives you sooo many compliments
-Little dirty innuendos
-Would definitely call you and talk to you late night on the phone until one of you fell asleep (house phone if they had them)
-He’s the kind of person to tell you that he got a visit from a cute dog earlier at the gas station and it made him think of you
Kyle
-Every time you go to get gas from Kit, he gives you only a little amount, so you have a reason to keep coming back
-One time when you go get gas from him, you forget your wallet again, and he teases you about it
-He lets you off and pays for your gas
- “I owe you, Mr Walka”
- “How about a date?”
-You smile at how confident he is, and nod excitedly, having been waiting for him to ask you for a while now
-Kit winks at you and waves as you drive off, completely melted inside about finally getting his girl
-Even though he’s always confident, he’s still a little shy and awkward around you when he sees you in class
-If all of his friends are in a class messing around, throwing stuff, being loud, and you walk it, he tells everybody to shut up because there’s a lady present
- “Hey careful, make sure you don’t throw it at her”
-It’s not until he sees you at a huge party, that he’s confident enough to go up to you
-Even though he’s more than happy to flirt, he’s just not confident enough to do that last step and ask you out somewhere
-He’ll bring you a drink and talk and flirt with you, and you’ll definitely get the hint
-He slowly lifts his arm up and stretches it over you, trying to do the classic yawn move, hoping you won’t notice or mind. You look over at him and narrow your eyes in fake suspicion.
- “Didn’t you come here with a movie star? Surely you get handsome men bringing you drinks all the time?”, he says, motioning to the drink in your hand.
“You calling yourself handsome?”, you tease him. Kyle laughs a breathy awkward laugh and nods. “Well yeah”
-When you do ask him for a date, he insists that he take the initiative to plan what you two do
-Clearly wanting to make a good first impression, he’d take you somewhere interesting
-Aquarium, in which he’ll make up clearly fake facts about the fish just to make you laugh
-Bowling, just so he can tease you about how much you suck
-Mini golf, so, even though you know how to play, he can wrap his arms around you and help you put
-And if he does take you to the movies, you aren’t spending a dime
-He’ll also wrap his arm around you not-so subtly
Franken Kyle
“Whatcha doin there, hm?”. Kyle leans into your ear and whispers.
“Just in case you get scared, you can cuddle up to me”
“Kyle we’re watching the Lego movie”
Jimmy
-You’re a witch at the academy, and with Kyle’s very slow progress to getting better, both Zoe and Madison are getting slightly tired of having to constantly take care of him
-But you don’t mind, finding his Frankenstein state cute
-Whenever he stumbles into the kitchen by himself you always help him make food
-If he’s ever struggling with anything, he usually comes to you, knowing you’re the most patient out of them all
-Then, one night, all the teens in the academy go to a party, while you lay in bed
-But when the rain starts to get really heavy and the first thunder growls, Kyle rushes into your room, before slowly knowing and peaking his head out, clearly scared
-You let him come and lay with you, rubbing his back to calm him down
-Although no real words are spoken, it’s from that moment that you decide to take on all responsibilities relating to Kyle, the good and the bad
-He’s admired you from afar for a very long time, ever since the first time you joined the circus
-You were incredibly flexible, and always showing off to everyone and practicing on stage
-He would always come and watch you practice, cheering you on more than anybody else
-You called Jimmy ‘my cheerleader’
-It made him blush every time
-Amazon Eve always told him to just ask you for dinner, but the only thing that stopped him was the thought that you wouldn’t want to go out and be seen with a freak like him, especially since your body looked so normal that you didn’t have to hide anything
-Eve and Paul reminded Jimmy that it’s him who’s always the most confident in going out into the real world, and he mustn’t be scared
-When they all plan to go to a diner together, as a protest to being shunned from society, you find his leadership charming and happily go with them
-Even though you all get kicked out, you calm Jimmy down and take care of him when his dad beats him up
James
-You wipe the scars on his face and tell him how brave you think he is
- Trying to gain confidence, you take a deep breath before making the move. “Maybe the two of us should go to that diner”. Jimmy looks up at you, as if he expects you to keep talking. When the nerves hit you all at once, you begin rambling. “You know cause if the two of us go and they’re okay with that then maybe we can start going with the others one by one, and then you know we’ll ease our way back into society and stuff”. You laugh a breathy laugh, but Jimmy says nothing. With every silent second passing, your heart begins to break. But luckily for you, Jimmy speaks up. “Wait, are you asking me out? Like… on a date? To the diner?”. “What if I were?”, you quietly reply. He smiles wide and pulls you closer to him, “I’d love that”.
-James is definitely the least subtle
-Constantly giving you compliments, kisses and gifts
-Opening every door for you and listening very carefully to everything you say
-He doesn’t want you to even think about another man, so he overwhelms you with every way he can show you he likes you
-I can imagine him organising a big ball or event at the hotel just so the two of you can dress up and go together
-He is also the most confident out of them all, although he is a softie around you, he has no trouble asking you anything he wants to you
-He’ll kiss your hand a lot and you’ll eventually get the hint
Kai
- “I would be most delighted if we were to make our relationship more official, and vow fully loyalty to one another”
-You agree and he is over the moon
-Once the two of you are in a relationship, the compliments, kisses and gifts don’t stop
-He will give you your space without him, but when the two of you are in the same room together, he treats your precious time together as if it’s sacred
-He will approximately 43 seconds into your relationship begin planning how he’s gonna kill you
-You can tell Kai likes you when he’s harsher on you than he is on other members of the cult
-He’ll be pissed at you for being a distraction for him
-He’ll definitely tell you when he’s impressed with you, when you murdered somebody or helped him plan something
-Even though he definitely would not want it
-If you proved to be smarter than him in any aspect, he’d be furious
-You’d be sat on his sofa while he’s talking to you about having to kill Sally because she’s getting in the way of him winning city council
- “Samuels looked at where she lives, and it has no back doors, no nothing, it’ll be impossible to get in her house without smashing windows and causing attention”
“Why don’t you get Ally to go to her first? If Meadow convinces her to go to Sally to talk about the cult, then the front door will be open”. Kai looks at you with angry eyebrows. “We’ll sit in the car and wait for a few seconds, she’ll let Ally in, won’t lock the door straight after her, and then let them talk for a minute before we just walk right in”
-His ego won’t let him take suggestions from somebody below him, so even though he wants to be proud of you for being smart, he’s mad
-He’ll sit for hooours trying to think of any other solution he physically can think of, to not go with what you suggested
-Around the cult, he’d treat you like everybody else though
- “Y/N’s idea was brilliant, Ally just walked in and they walked straight to sit down, she didn’t lock the door”
-He’d praise you to encourage you to think of ideas, which he would later be mad that you have
━━━━━━♡♤♡━━━━━━
-You’d find out how he felt about you during pinky power
-After being suspicious that he may have feelings for you for a while, you realised this is the only way to truly find out how he feels without him trying to manipulate you
-He’d ask you about something deep, and you’d latch on after he finishes a sentence to ask him your question
- “I have a question for you”
“Go ahead”
“How do you feel about me?”
Kai stays silent and continues to look you in the eye, taken aback by the question but not wanting to show it.
“When you’re with me, how do you feel?”
“I think you have real potential, you’re strong-”
“I’m not asking the Divine Ruler, I’m asking Kai, Kai Anderson”
He takes a deep breath before unintentionally breaking eye contact for a few seconds to think. You wait anxiously for the answer, and with every second passing you know what it will be.
“You’re special”, he starts, looking you in the eye again. “You’re valuable to the group, and to me. And I think you’d be a great… mother”. The last catches you off guard, not expecting Kai to be a family man or to think about this with you.
“You… you want me to… have your children?”
“I think our children would be indestructible, strong, powerful, decisive. They would be the seed of the better future”. Although it was a little forward for somebody you’ve never even kissed, you were beyond flattered, knowing how specific Kai is with traits in people.
“Let’s make a baby”, Kai says.
“Whoa whoa”, you laugh and unlink your pinky with his. “We’re not even dating, Kai”
“Why date if children is the ultimate purpose?”
“Then don’t look at is as dating… look at it… as getting to know the mother of your future children”
-Kai would love this and you’d soon end up dating
-And have like 6 kids
@milly-louise @amourtentiaa @kitwalker02 @tatestripedsweater @therenlover @maria-akira @tatesimper @thxc0untessesgl0ve @mossybank @ahsxual @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess @mrs-march-ahs-biggest-fan @kitwalkerangel @kitisagoldenretrieverboy @darlingkitt @blackbat2020@elaineygrace @kaiandersonskoolaid @undeadcortez @whiiiiplaaaaash
As usual, if you wanted to be added or taken away, dm me or comment!! I won’t mind! <3
#american horror story#ahs#tate langdon x#tate langdon#tate langdon x reader#tate langdon imagine#kit walker#kit walker x#kit walker x reader#kit walker imagine#kyle spencer#kyle spencer x#kyle spencer x reader#kyle spencer imagine#frankenkyle#jimmy darling#jimmy darling x#jimmy darling x reader#jimmy darling imagine#james march#james patrick march#mr march#james march x#james march x reader#james march imagine#kai anderson#kai anderson x#kai anderson x reader#kai anderson imagine#ahs imagine
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Fic: Closing Time (Johnny Utah x fem!reader)
Summary: You work at a clothing store, you get a last minute customer at closing time and sexy tims happen.
Pairing: Johnny Utah x fem!reader
Author’s Notes: So I’m slowly getting back to writing. I’m not gonna say I’m fully back just yet, but for this week at least, there will be content! Huge thanks to @toomanystoriessolittletime and @meetmeinthematinee for being cheerleaders and giving me early feedback on this!
Wordcount: 3125
Warnings: smut. oral sex (F! receiving); dirty talk; unprotected sex with strangers (don’t do this kids!); sex in inappropriate places.
Most days you quite enjoyed it when there was barely any movement at the store. It gave you the opportunity of just being by yourself, reading a book, or enjoying some music or studying for college, things that you didn’t always have the privacy of doing at your dorm because your roommate seemed to always be around. Even during the summer and what was up with that? Didn’t she have better things to do?
She wasn’t like you, who actually had to work to put yourself through college and took some extra jobs during the summer so you could have some savings for the following term when all you managed to get were part-time jobs that you had fit in between classes and paid shit.
Fortunately, at the shop, you had some peace and time for yourself. It was a tiny, hole-in-the-wall sort of place around Venice Beach where tourists could get some shirts and other knickknacks to take back home and locals surfers could find cheap clothing and supplies for a day out on the beach. Most days, you worked from 9-5 and after your shift, you could head to the beach, spread your towel on the sand and enjoy the gorgeous Californian sunset. However, as the summer winded out and the fall winds blew the scalding hot weather into simmering heat, your boss let you close a little early, especially on Tuesdays, when most tourists had already headed home and the new arrivals hadn’t landed yet so there were barely any customers around.
Your plan today had been to finish your reading for class and start the new crime thriller you picked up at the used books store on your way to work. Except, today you were just too restless to focus. You must have reread the same paragraph of your textbook twenty times before you gave up and set it aside, giving the other book a go, but it was just as unsuccessful at holding your attention.
So instead, you moved around the cramped space, adjusting the decoration items, dusting off shelves, and refolding every single shirt in the display until it was perfectly symmetrical while you willed time to move faster so you could end this day. Maybe it was the heatwave that had made an appearance turning the air in the shop stifling and all you had to help you was an old and slow fan that made more noise than blow air. The A/C was busted and your boss still hadn’t called someone to fix it.
Another possibility was the fact that you had to keep the glass doors opened to help circulate a little air and every time any kind of wind blew or someone walked in, it brought with them the crisp smell of salt and sand that always made you ache for the ocean and fight against the temptation of just abandoning everything and heading for the beach so you could cool off taking a dip in the deliciously cold water. Either way, you kept checking the slow ticking of the clock hands, counting the seconds before you could turn the closed sign.
When the minute hand finally hit twelve, you let out a cheer, jumping off your stool and taking a step towards the door. You always locked the doors first to discourage most last-minute walk-ins while you closed the register, put away the money in the back office safe, and slipped out of the store through the back door, taking any garbage with you to throw in the dumpster outside.
Before you could move from behind the counter, a man stepped into the store and you groaned low in your throat. Of-fucking-course! It was like they stood in wait to come in at the precise moment you were about to head out.
“Hey, you’re still open, right?” He asked, pushing the overgrown dark hair back from his forehead and offering you an unsure smile. You felt the urge to lie and say that no, you were closed and he should come back tomorrow.
“Yeah, sure.” You said instead placing your best and most fake seller’s smile. “Feel free to look around and let me know if you need help.”
“Thanks!” He replied, flashing a wider smile that showed a small dimple, before moving towards the shirts in the display while you made your way to the main entrance, flipped the sign, and locked the door to bar any other walk-ins.
You hung back while the guy browsed the options, taking a moment to assess him. He didn’t look like a tourist, but also not fully like a local. Most Californian guys that you knew had the most horrifying hair cuts or bleach jobs you had ever seen and that was not the case for the man in front of you.
His hair was dark brown, a little shaggy from too much exposure to sun and salt and it flopped a little over his forehead, just above his eyes. He wore a grey cropped t-shirt that had definitely seen better days and struggled to contain his broad shoulders, showing a peek of toned abs. His jeans were ridiculously tight and hung low on his slender hips, the light-wash of the denim accentuating the perfect bubble butt and for the love of God, you needed to get laid. Badly.
“Excuse me,” he called, startling you and you prayed he hadn’t noticed the way you were checking his ass just now. “Do you have this one in black?”
“Yeah, sure.” You moved towards the drawers. “What’s your usual size? Medium or large?”
“I think large should be good,” he replied and when you turned around with the requested shirt, he was just standing there, barechested, his top hanging from his shoulder and you hoped your gasp wasn’t as loud as it sounded in your head.
“Here you go,” you croaked, offering him the shirt. “We do have a fitting room…” you gestured towards the small cubicle to the rear of the store.
“Oh right!” He glanced over as he pulled the shirt on. “Do you mind if I try them out here, though?”
“Not at all,” you forced your voice to sound somewhat normal.
“Awesome!”
Damn! He wasn’t just fucking hot. He was also cute, the wide grin he just flashed giving him a boyish look that was only enhanced by the almond-shaped chocolate-colored eyes. Biting your lip, you watched as he turned side to side in front of the mirror, checking himself out.
“It think is a little too big,” he said, meeting your gaze. “What do you think?”
“Well…” you cleared your throat and moved closer so you could look at him through the mirror. “If you want it more fitted, then yeah, probably a smaller size would be best. Want me to get it?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Once again, by the time you turned back to him, he was shirtless, the garment he had just tried neatly folded and resting on the shelf as he took a look at some other shirts, his attention snapping at you when he noticed you coming closer to hand him the new shirt, giving you a glimpse of a pale, sunken scar running down his abs that stopped just above his belly button and that drew attention to the small trail of fine dark hairs that disappeared under the waist of his jeans and holy shit! He was bare beneath those jeans.
“Bike accident,” he commented as he took the shirt that you offered and you met his eyes in confusion.
“What?” You asked, mouth suddenly dry.
“The scar,” he clarified, putting on the shirt and his lips were tilted into a slight smirk. “That was what you were staring at, right?”
“Right,” you agreed, feeling your face burning. “I’ll just head to the register and give you some privacy.”
I don’t mind,” he shrugged, turning to the mirror. “This is better. What do you think?” He turned towards you, giving you a full view of the cotton fabric covering his muscles, looking almost as if painted on him.
“Sure...” you swallowed hard, trying not to stare. “If you prefer it more fitted...”
“I do,” pulling the shirt off and once again giving you the glorious view of his torso. “I’ll take it.”
You took the shirt to the register and he followed, pausing only to pick up his own, which he had discarded on a nearby hanger. You were expecting him to put it back on, but he just threw it over his shoulder, reaching for his wallet as you registered the sale and tried not to stare.
“Is that the only camera you have around here?” He asked, gesturing to a point above your left and you glanced at the object before nodding, exchanging the money he gave you for the paper bag with his purchase.
“Yeah, why?”
“So basically...” he started, taking a step to the side, closer to the fitting room. “I’m completely out of sight over here?”
“Basically, yeah,” you frowned a little, stepping away from the counter. “Why? Are you planning to rob the place? Because let me tell you, there’s not much worth...” You trailed off with a surprised squeak as he tugged on your hand, pulling you over to the blindspot and nearly pressed against his strong chest.
“Because honestly, I never really gave a fuck about the shirt. I just thought you were beautiful and wanted to ask your number when I walked in, but you looked kind pissed so I got cold feet,” he confessed with a rueful smile.
“So you decided to just get mostly naked in front of me?” You snorted, shaking your head and he shrugged.
“Needed to make sure you might be interested and considering the way you were eyeing me earlier, it looked like you saw something you liked.”
“You’re really sure of yourself, aren’t you?” You arched an eyebrow at him, not ready to concede just yet. Even if the heat of his body and the smell of sea breeze whiffing off his skin were driving you crazy.
“Only when I’m right,” he flashed you a lopsided smirk and just waited, gazing into your eyes, making it clear that the next step was yours.
Part of you screamed that it was crazy to even consider hooking up with a guy that just walked into your store, no matter how hot he was, but it had been a ridiculously long time since you last had sex and he was so fucking hot, the scent of his golden skin intoxicating and his heat was making you dizzy with want as you looked him up and down, noticing the volume pressing against the denim of his pants.
“We might not have cameras, but the windows are see-through, so get your ass to the fitting room while I finish closing up.”
He flashed a victorious smirk and nodded, heading towards the back while you rushed through the steps of securing the store before joining him.
Your heart was pounding with anticipation as you made your way towards the back, pushing away the curtain that blocked the small space of the fitting room and finding him perched on the low stool that you kept there so customers could put down their things, facing the full-length mirror, legs spread, jeans undone, revealing the bush of dark hairs surrounding his long and thick cock.
You nearly whimpered at the sight, your center pulsing in want as you leaned against the doorframe, watching him as he run his left hand up and down his shaft, head tilted back, breathing hard, eyes hooded. He was such a beautiful and debauched sight that you felt the urge to photograph him, capture that sensuality.
“Are you just gonna stand there and watch?” He asked, eyes meeting yours through the reflective surface.
“You seemed to be doing fine on your own,” you teased stepping into the tight space, fingers itching to touch all that glorious skin.
“I did not just spend most of my afternoon at the corner diner, drinking burned coffee just to jerk off in front of you,” he declared, standing up and turning your way.
“Ohhh, so this was premeditated?” You asked, kicking off your sneakers as he reached for you and you stumbled against his chest.
“A little bit, yeah,” he admitted, large hand hot against your hips and you wanted to feel it against your flesh. “You probably don’t remember, but I was here last week and you had to bend over to get something from one of the lower drawers...” he let out a soft groan, hands moving to your ass and squeezing lightly. “Fuck! I don’t think I ever popped a boner so fast in my life. I had to get out.”
You vaguely remembered that. There was so much coming and going in this place, it was hard to keep track of faces, but customers just taking off after asking to see something usually caused an impression. If you weren’t about to get fucked after six months, you would be more pissed.
“So you decided to come back when I was alone and seduce me?” you asked, running your hands over his chest and abs, scratching it slightly and goosebumps rose in his skin as he hissed.
“Yeah,” he spoke in a low voice as his hands move to the button of your jeans. “I’ve been thinking about you all week,” he slid your fly down and your breath caught in your throat. “I thought about bending you over that counter and fucking you until you’re screaming.” His fingers skimmed over your cunt, just a soft touch, but you gasped and arched your hips forward, holding onto his arms to steady yourself. “I thought about it eating your pussy and your ass until you’re begging me to fuck you.”
Those words were whispered right against your ear, before he changed your positions, crowding you against the mirror and pushing your jeans down to your thighs before he once against skimmed his fingers over covered sex, making you ache for him.
“What do you think about that?” He asked, lips brushing your cheek in an almost chaste kiss, completely opposed to the lewdness of his hand exploring your cunt. “Do you want it?”
“If you’re as good with your tongue at eating pussy like you are at talking dirty, then I maybe I do,” you declared, tired of his teasing and you felt his smirk as he gracefully slid to his knees in front of you.
You didn’t manage to get another word out before he shoved your panties down to join your jeans and his lips firmly connected to your clit. He gave it a sharp suck and you groaned, burying your fingers into his hair to keep yourself on your feet as your brain short-circuited and your knees turned to jelly.
He was very good at eating you out, especially because he was very attentive to every sound you made, every tightening of your grip on his hair, and roll of your hips to nudge him into going faster or slower, harder or softer... It wasn’t long before he reached that perfect alternation of fast flickering against your clit and slower and broad strokes of his tongue over your entrance and lips, a combination that drove you crazy.
You were whimpering and moaning, legs quaking with the alternating urge to close them around his face to keep him trapped there pleasuring you forever or spreading them wider so he could have more space to work, but the edges of your jeans were digging into the lower part of your knees, signaling you that that was as far as they could go.
As if reading your thoughts or maybe he just realized he would need more room, he shoved your pants down and helped you to kick them off so you could be completely free of the garment. And didn’t you two looked like a mismatched pair, with you standing there wearing only your top while he knelt in front of you, his jeans still on.
Once your pants were off, he hooked your right thigh over his shoulder, pressing his mouth even harder against your cunt, flickering his tongue over your clit before dipping it in between your lips, gathering the juices soaking your sex like a starved man.
“Fuck! I’m so close...” you hissed, rolling your hips, seeking more because that tight knot deep inside you was about to snap and from the way you ached and shuddered, your muscles tensing, you knew it would be a hard one.
“Yeah?” He mumbled against your core, his breath against your overheated skin making you shiver as he pushed two fingers inside you. “Gonna cum all over my mouth?”
He pistoled his fingers in and out at a fast pace, crooking inwards with every down motion, his tongue matching his rhythm against your clit and it was that made you snap as you bit down on your fist to stop yourself from shouting as your body was flooded with pleasure and all you knew was the unbelievable bliss that surrounded you. Stars bust behind your closed lids, the air came out of your lungs in short gushes as you fought hard not to slide down to the ground because your legs felt like jelly.
“Ok?” he asked, making you finally snap your eyes open to look at him.
He was sitting on his heels, face still glistening with your orgasm, his lips swollen and red from the abuse. His cock was rock hard, red, and leaking and you really wanted to return the favor.
“Way better than ok,” you replied with a gasp. “My turn?” To your surprise, he shook his head and got to his feet.
“Tonight, the only place I’m cumming is in that pussy,” he announced against your ear and shivered with anticipation. “So let’s get out of this fucking store and go to my place?”
“Fuck yes!” you grinned breathlessly at him as you reached for your jeans and he buttoned his over his hard cock and that couldn’t be comfortable.
“I’m Johnny, by the way,” he said. “Johnny Utah. Just in case you want to know what to shout when I fuck your brains out later.”
You rolled your eyes at his cheeky smirk and moved closer to him, once fully clothed, the only evidence of your recent climax was the sweat cooling on your skin and the stupid grin that refused to leave your face.
“I think I like you more when your mouth is busy with something other than talking,” you declared and before Johnny could manage a reply, you silenced him with a kiss, tasting yourself in his tongue.
xxx
If you enjoyed this work, please consider reblogging and/or commenting please. Feedback gives life to us writers!
#johnny utah x reader#johnny utah x you#keanu reeves x reader#keanu reeves x you#point break fanfic#fanfic
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Late Night/Early Morning. Thoughts on McLaren and Daniel Ricciardo.
Basically me trying to outlogic all the online haters and their arguments, or at least get them to empathize. Long time lurker, but recent events are causing this verbal vomit essay. Please forgive any newb to Tumblr mistakes.
Of course - this is sport and nobody should get abuse, but we also should be able to call it how we see it. Also, trying to find nuance, empathy and sympathy is what the world really needs.
Daniel Ricciardo deserves better. He is clearly a respected member of the F1 community and some people are forgetting the ten years he's been a part of the sport. While he had some bad races these past two years, he’s also had good ones and he still deserves a place in F1.
To everyone who says "Daniel wasn't performing, he deserves it..." McLaren absolutely had and has the choice to make a change, if they felt he wasn't performing, but it wasn't for lack of trying and they didn't need to eviscerate Daniel to do so. That's what people are upset about. The lack of integrity Zak Brown has when it came to dealing with this was just astonishing. Dangling an F1 seat that wasn't technically available to so many people. Imagine having a job/contract, and your boss is interviewing people all around the building you work at...for your job! This was clearly happening for months - how can anyone expect someone to perform well? So while DR hasn't been performing with a car that's difficult, add this and is it really a surprise he's been inconsistent? Just imagine what he's had to go through this year. Add world stage, and the pressure becomes something impossible to ignore.
Also - what's the point of a contract? In my opinion, Zak Brown wanted Daniel to quit so they wouldn't have to pay out his contract. Obviously that didn't happen, guessing due to Oscar/Alpine blow up. How McLaren could negotiate such a terrible contract for themselves? One will never know. Thank goodness Daniel gets paid out - they broke the contract. They're also effectively and potentially leaving him without a drive in F1 for 2023 - so yes, they should be paying him out. That's the point of a contract.
Ultimately, they could have worked with Daniel to ensure a more honorable and peaceful exit. Who knows maybe if Daniel knew this was going on / they wanted the change - and didn't overtly commit to McLaren - Aston Martin could have been another option. Sigh, what could have been. (Ps. Scotty James/Chloe Stroll/Lance Stroll get papa Stroll to move away from Fernando and sign DR. Based on public personas, sure Lance would rather work with DR anyway. And since contracts don't seem to hold up, why can't this be a reality? Kidding, kind of. Ha)
Ultimately, nobody denies it's a bad fit between Daniel and McLaren and a change should happen - they didn't need to tear the man down to do it. Hate the circumstances, but ultimately happy Daniel is getting out.
Also, do people really think Oscar Piastri is innocent in this? Or maybe Mark Webber poorly managed this situation. He and Mark Webber went after a seat that wasn't technically available (no matter how McLaren positioned it), one a fellow countryman technically held. It's a sad start to Oscar's F1 career because it's leaving a bad taste in everyone's mouth.
And fuck yes to Seb Vettel for not only supporting Daniel, but pointing out what no one else will. They have failed him - not only in never extracting his potential (aka getting the car closer to Daniel and his strengths), but more monstrously, they failed him as a human. For everyone saying it's a business (even Daniel has admitted that), and it is, but some empathy and kindess could have gone along way.
Now, McLaren is like divorced couple who have to live in the same house for nine more races.
And through it all, Daniel remains resilient. Class act. He's basically killing them with kindness. I hope he finds what he's looking for next year and beyond. He deserves better.
And jumble of thoughts over. Anyone share these thoughts? A little nervous to post. Happy to have discourse and disagreement, but please be respectful♥️
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Omega!Light - How do his plans change? If he had a mate?
Anon: How about light yagami as an omega? It would be interesting considering how he plans on being 'justice and creating a new world. How would he feel of having an alpha mate?
and
Anon: Could I request for an omega light. I feel like it would really be interesting and it would make sense with the story line a bit. Considering he wants justice and all in an alpha-dominated world. "Omega rules over the world type of stuff "
(Hmm, this was an interesting one to write! It was a bit of a deep dive into Light’s psyche~ I’m sick at the moment and not taking my classes so I’m bulk writing some older requests right now! Sorry it took me so long to get to this. Enjoy!)
Warnings: Mpreg, Discrimination, Light’s general blasé attitude towards murder.
The World
Firstly, let’s look at the omegaverse world in Death Note (pre- Kira) and how it was for Light growing up as a male omega.
Light’s experiences with discrimination very much shaped his desire for justice. He felt like he was never given justice for the way he was treated and he was going to change that.
Omegaverse Japan was very prejudiced against omegas and Light felt these effects at a very young age.
The first time was with an elderly neighbour of his. When his mother was proudly showing off his recent perfect test scores, the neighbour dismissed them with a comment about how he shouldn’t be focusing on education but on training to be a good mate and mother, and that alphas didn’t like omegas who focused outside of the family and the household.
This was extreme, but it did reflect the biases of the older generations.
At only six, Light was crushed, even if he kept those feelings to himself. Eventually, he vowed to show everyone who thought he couldn’t do ‘alpha things’ that he could, and not only that but he was better than any alphas at those things.
Other examples of discrimination he faced are as follows:
Being told by his teacher that he should pick a new future career because “being a police officer is a demanding job. You’ll need to be at home for your future pups, Light kun!”
Alphas at his school never taking no for an answer when he rejects their advances (and the teacher ignoring this behaviour).
Gaining the attention of sleazy adult alphas starting from when he was only 14.
In public, Light tried to play both a respectful genius and good omega boy.
He would never dull his intelligence too much, but he remained soft-spoken and manipulated his way out of situations without causing a fuss. Eg. Claiming he was waiting until he finished school to court, rather than just rejecting his alphas classmates outright.
Light just found that this strategy made people leave him alone more often and therefore was his favourite.
And then he finds the Death Note.
Kira
As an omega, Kira’s actions change ever so slightly.
He is very harsh on hate crimes against omegas.
He goes so far as to seek them out, rather than mostly getting names from watching the news.
This has the unfortunate side effect of L figuring out almost immediately that Kira is an omega though. Which ultimately increases suspicion on Light.
When Light finds out that L is also an omega, he can’t decide if he feels more or less angry.
On one hand, he was imagining an arrogant asshole alpha that he would have been delighted to kill, so this is a more tolerable alternative.
On the other hand, shouldn’t L be supporting him making the world safer for omegas like them? It feels like L is betraying his kind which makes Light angrier.
In the earlier days, Kira’s focus on helping omegas and closing the discrimination gap makes him pretty popular, especially on anonymous internet forums.
With an Alpha mate
Light met you at university. You were a tolerable classmate who expressed an interest in courting him.
Light, although he had no interest in you, accepted the courtship to get L off his back. L had theorised that Kira was either an unmated omega, or mated and very angry/regretful about it. Considering Kira’s age, he decided it was likely the former. For this reason, he figured being in an active courtship would throw L off.
Light picked you because you were one of the more tolerable alphas, but he found himself surprised at how much he enjoyed your company.
You actually listened to him, valued his opinions, supported his dreams. He found himself thinking that it wouldn’t be that bad to be mated to you.
He pushed those thoughts back, following the courting motions with as little emotion as possible.
But when he was in heat (a minimised one because he takes suppressants) he just really wanted you there with him. He was so confused and angry that he was feeling this way, but he caved in and called you over to spend time with him.
As he laid in your embrace, he started trying to justify what he was doing.
He liked to think he was a god, but ultimately he had the lifespan of a human. Who better to continue his legacy than his own child? For a child, he would need a mate. And you were the most tolerable alpha he had ever met. That’s the reason he was doing this.
So, he puts out feelers to see your opinion on Kira and eventually he tells you who he is. He is gleeful when he receives your support.
From this point, he throws himself into the relationship a lot more, moving on from courting to intended mates.
He loves having someone he can be himself with. He never has to put up a mask with his alpha.
His plan is to get pregnant after he’s established the new world order, then raise his child to take over when he’s too old. He doesn’t care what their primary or secondary gender is because he plans to make sure they are raised to be a suitable leader.
Light gritted his teeth as he persevered through his university coursework. His heat was driving him mad. He skin was itchy and he couldn’t focus properly.
It would probably be better if you were here with him.
No. He gripped his pen tightly. He didn’t need anyone else, certainly not an alpha. He was fine. He just needed to lay down for a bit, then he’d feel better.
Closing his textbook, he stretched and made his way over to his bed, supressing a whine at the lack of a nest. No, he didn’t need a nest he was fine.
Okay, maybe he wasn't as fine as originally thought. It had been a few hours and he was only feeling worse. Maybe he should send you a message. Just so he could get back to work of course.
You knocked hesitantly on Light’s front door, clutching your bag tightly. Light had sent you a cryptic message and you were a little worried about him.
His mother opened the door and ushered you up to Light’s room with a smile. You thanked her politely before walking quickly to Light’s bedroom. You knocked twice before tentatively swinging open the door. You saw Light sitting up in bed, looking a little ruffled, like he’d been asleep. You took a deep breath. He was in heat... The omega you were courting had just invited you into his room while he was in heat! Your alpha puffed up in pride.
But... where was his nest?
“Hey Light.” You spoke quietly. “How are you feeling?” You moved to sit on the edge of his bed, watching carefully for any signs of rejection.
“Like crap.” He let out a strained laugh. “I need to get my work done, but I can’t do anything like this.”
You hesitated. “Where is your nest? You’d probably feel a lot better in there.”
“I don’t have one.” Light said shortly.
“Oh!” You said, flustered. “That’s fine. I just thought- but that was rude, I’m sorry.”
Light rolled his eyes. “It’s fine, just drop it.”
You let out a sigh of relief, scooting closer to him and wrapping an arm around his waist. Light automatically leaned onto your shoulder before realising what he was doing and starting to pull away. Before he could, you tightened your grip, releasing a calming scent as you enjoyed the physical affection. Light hesitated, but the feeling of burning itchiness was finally starting to subside and he couldn’t help but lean into the person providing the soothing sensation.
He was only doing this so he would be feeling well enough this evening to write in the Death Note. That’s it. Nothing else.
#death note#light yagami#omega!light#omega light#omega L#alpha!reader#alpha reader#abo#omegaverse#headcanons#scenarios#mpreg#nesting#reader insert#omega male#gn reader#gn alpha#light x reader#omega light x alpha reader
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kissing lessons | rosé
group ; blackpink genre ; fluff
pairing ; cheerleader!!rosé / fem!reader
summary ; roseanne asks you for kissing lessons to help impress the person she had a crush on. little did you know she only used it as an excuse to lock lips with you.
warnings ; mentions of sex, swearing
a/n ; this is the first thing i’ve written in approximately 4 months so it’s very rusty but i’m pretty glad i’ve managed to finally write something – woo! also not proofread xx
word count ; 2.7k
“i need kissing lessons.”
was the first thing she said to you when she entered the room. you looked up from your book in shock, “you need what now?”
“i need kissing lessons. from you.” she repeated. you examined her, looking for any sign of humor on her face, but there was none. right before you, stood the school’s most loved and popular girl, roseanne park. the both of you weren’t that close as you were one of the middle class, average kids while she was up there, rich and popular. she always tried talking and being friendly to you, you found it odd at first as she would just come out of nowhere and suddenly ask you about your day, but you’ve grown to appreciate and love her small acts of kindness. she looked down at you with a tight-lipped smile and hopeful eyes. saying you were speechless was an understatement. did the head cheerleader and long time crush really ask you to give her kissing lessons?
“okay, hold up. could you fill me in really quickly? why on earth do you need kissing lessons?”
“It’s silly, but i kinda like someone..” she began, looking away. she tried hiding it, but the biggest smile was plastered on her face and you knew whoever this ‘someone’ was – was really special. you were flattered, but even more hurt. you had no place to be hurt as you were even closer with your locker than you were with her, but you couldn’t help it. you were more than glad that she asked you to help her improve her kissing skills, but knowing she wants you to help her impress someone else really managed to hurt your heart a little. “ms park has a crush! who’s this special someone?” you asked in a teasing tone. roseanne rolled her eyes and sat down next to you. “i’m not telling you, but i just really need your help.” she stared at you, basically begging with her eyes.
“i would love to, but you didn’t answer my question. why would you, roseanne park, the heartthrob of the school, need kissing lessons? from me?”
“because i’m pretty fucking inexperienced and have kissed like 3 people in my life? and those three people have barely given me anything more than a peck, oh and the kisses that went further made me down a whole bottle of mouthwash afterwards.” you couldn’t help but laugh at the girl’s words, “also because i’ve heard you’re a pretty good kisser, but i’m not telling you where i got that information from.” you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment, although you were very flattered, you didn’t know how to react.
“come on, y/l/n. i’m not asking you to help me get better at sex- although i wouldn’t mind doing that with you-” you threw your rubber at her, making her giggle. “you suck.” you replied, making her smile. “i might be sucking something soon-”
“park! shut up!” you scolded. she laughed at you and shook her head. “so? what do you say, y/n?”
nodding and closing your book, you straighten your posture. “alright roseanne park, i’ll give you kissing lessons.”
roseanne looked at you with bright eyes and a wide smile, “yes! oh my god, thank you, y/n!” she replied, bringing you into a tight hug. “i owe you.” she whispered.
“you bet you do. now get your ass up and let’s get to class.”
–––
you spent the whole day worrying, it only just processed in your mind that roseanne wanted you to help her with her kissing. meaning you’d have to kiss her. panic rushed through you, holy shit. you were going to kiss roseanne park. the last period had just come to a halt and you packed your things slowly. your mind was all over the place and you didn’t know how to feel. once you stepped outside the classroom, the blond herself linked arms with you and dragged you out of school. “let’s get outta here, y/l/n.”
you let out a light chuckle as you got into her car, not long after she got in. “um, so my parents are out of town right now. should we head there?” she asked, looking at you through the rear view mirror. everything was just so bubbly and confusing, were you really about to do this? with roseanne park?
her voice snapped you out of your little mind debate, “y/n? you alright?”
“oh no, yeah i’m fine. your house is fine.” you replied, making her giggle. “loosen up, y/l/n, i’m not gonna bite you.”
“yet.” she smirked, you immediately looked at her – a beautifully elegant laugh escaped her lips. “i’m kidding – unless?” you smacked her leg, masking you blush away with a playful scowl. “just drive, park.” roseanne smiled and started the engine.
–––
the both of you sat down on her bed, placing your things down. rosé bounced down on the bed, excitedly, using the both of her hands to slap the mattress. “now how would you say i should improve, miss y/l/n?”
smiling sheepishly, you fixed your things. “now i wouldn’t know yet, miss park.”
“okay, so find out. i really need to impress this person.”
you kept your head down, trying to hide the disappointment on your face. she really needs to impress this person, this is just to help her with the person she has feelings for. and god, did you hate to think about it like that. but your heart was pounding and as much as you hated to admit it – you were excited to finally feel roseanne’s lips. “geez, easy, tiger. give me some time to prepare my lips or something.” you replied, making the aussie laugh. “well hurry, i need these lessons asap.”
“girl, what are you planning to do with your mystery lover? i’m pretty worried,” roseanne smacked your shoulder before grabbing her lip balm. “put it on.”
you removed the lid of the stick and applied it onto your lips. she looked at you, as if she was waiting for you to do something. her eyes were almost screaming, “come kiss me already.”
“y/l/n, do i really have to make the first move here?” she teased, making you roll your eyes and lean in. you placed your hand on her jaw as she placed hers on your cheek. slowly but surely, the both of you started to lean in. you closed your eyes, waiting. it felt like forever until her lips finally touched yours. it felt like everything had just stopped, you knew you had to give her pointers and ways to improve on how she was kissing, but all you could focus on was how soft her lips felt against yours, how addictive the tingles felt. your lips moved against each other softly and elegantly. you were so caught up in the moment – you were running out of air, so that’s when you finally pulled away. she rested her forehead on yours, out of breath like you were.
finally opening your eyes, the both of you stared at each other for what felt like hours. trying to really find out what the both of you were thinking. “i-” you started, your mind was blank. the only thing on your mind was the way her lips felt on yours, how soft, how sweet and how addictive her lips were. “well- i just.. you-”
“fuck, am i that bad?” she asked, worried. you were shocked, “no! god, no. you’re good, really good. i- i just don’t know how i’m supposed to help you after that.” you laughed, making her do the same. you went completely blank, you just stared at her, examined her. you really saw how beautiful and elegant she looked. “come on, y/l/n, give me something. like.. like how you felt! was i too soft? was there too much teeth? tongue, even?” she asked eagerly yet nervously. the tone of her voice and the look on her face was just beyond adorable. you giggled at the girl’s actions and shook your head. “roseanne, relax. you were great, it was – how do i say this without being creepy.. perfect? you don’t need any lessons, park.”
“oh come on, y/n. you don’t have to sugar coat it, give me the truth. go into details.. please?”
details, she wanted details. well shit.
“um, alright.. um, it was soft. but not in a bad way, it was sweet, gentle. perfect idea of a first kiss. i don’t- i don’t know how else to describe it. you’re good. end of story, park.” your words put a smile on her face, it made her feel proud, happy. “oh really?” she smirked, earning herself a smack on the arm. “shut up, rosie. you asked for the truth and i gave it to you. i’m gonna go home now..” you stood up, but was immediately pulled back down. “nuh uh, you’re not leaving. it’s been like 10 minutes, i just- i wanna improve. maybe go out of the kissing, how was the position of.. my hand? my body?”
you got to thinking, might as well give her something, right?
“okay well, maybe when you hold their cheek. just..” hesitantly, you leaned in and held her cheek in your hand. “before leaning in maybe just..” you caressed her cheek with the soft pad of your thumb making the girl blush a bright shade of red. “then when you kiss them, you could pull them closer.. like this-” softly, you pulled her closer to you. you were barely an inch away from her lips and you could feel her hot breath. everything you did made you feel so, so weak. you felt so vulnerable being this close to her. it felt unreal and you felt as if everything was just perfect at that moment.
roseanne’s eyes were glued to your lips and just couldn’t shake the feeling off, it felt so right. “should i try it on you?” she asked, breaking the silence. you cleared your throat and backed away. “um, yeah.. yeah go ahead.” you sat up straight as she brought her hand to your cheek. gulping, she caressed your cheek exactly how you did. her eyes were glued to your lips, she began nibbling on her bottom lip before pulling you closer and placing her lips on yours.
fireworks, butterflies, that was all you felt. her lips moved against yours, gracefully. before she could get carried away, she pulled back, staring into your eyes.
“i-..”
“was that good?”
“y-yeah, it was good.”
the awkward silence ate the both of you up, making you stand up. “um, i’m gonna get home. good first lesson, you’ll be fine, park.” you grabbed your things until she stopped you by grabbing your hand. “wait! i.. could you possibly.. give me more lessons? i don’t think i’m at my best yet.”
“oh, uh- yeah. sure, yeah, alright. just.. text me.” you replied, giving her an awkward smile. she nodded before standing up. “i’ll, can i drive you home?” she asked. “oh! no, please. it’s alright, i’ll just call an uber-”
“no, i insist! it’s the least i could do after you agreeing to help me out.” you were about to protest as she grabbed your bag and your hand. “come on, ms good kisser.” you giggled as you let her drag you out.
––
“okay, what on earth is going on between you and chaeyoung?” joy, your beloved best friend asks. “i- nothing, i’m just giving her kissing lessons..”
“you’re WHAT?!” she yelled, making you flinch. “sooyoung! be quiet!” you scolded, pulling her back down. “how long have you been giving ms. head cheerleader kissing lessons?!” she was shocked and offended - clearly. “just a few weeks.. relax.”
“how could i possibly relax when i’ve just found out my best friend has been making out with the school’s most popular girl?! you bitch! why haven’t you told me?!” she slapped your arm, angrily. you couldn’t help but laugh at your best friend’s actions. she’s been there for you since you were 3 and you’ve pretty much told her everything that’s happened in your life, whether it’s when you had your first kiss or that one time you stepped on gum and you had to walk barefoot the whole day. “i didn’t tell you because i knew you’d tease the shit out of me!” you protested.
“well yeah, alright. understandable, but y/n?! you’ve been making out with the love of your life – how does it feel?” she replied, smirking at you. “shut up before i smack that smirk off your face.” sooyoung laughed and shoved you. “i hate you! why would she need kissing lessons? and why would she get kissing lessons from you?” she asked, disgust evident on her face and the tone of her voice. “she said she really wanted to impress the person she likes, and also i will quite literally-”
“y/n! wait up!” a familiar sweet voice called out for you. you and joy turned around, seeing the said girl running towards your direction. she had her hair in a tight ponytail and was wearing her cute, perky and hot cheerleading uniform. “hi cutie,” she greeted, making you smile. “hey chae.”
“um, i was wondering if i could have another lesson? today, after school maybe?” she asked, but it sounded more like she was letting you know. “sure,” you agreed, smiling. “alright, see you around.” she then walked off, swaying her hips and her ponytail along with it. your eyes were glued onto her and joy just couldn’t hold herself back. “oh my fuck, you whipped motherfucker.”
“shut up, chicken joy. let’s just get to class.”
“do you even know who she likes?” joy’s question really caught your attention. you’ve been giving roseanne kissing lessons for about 3 weeks and you still have no idea about who she has feelings for. “oh, um.. well-”
“ha! you don’t! you know what that means,” she said, wiggling her eyebrows. “no, i don’t know what that means, park sooyoung.”
“ah, you lovesick fool.”
––
you and rosé walked into her room casually, putting your things down and talking about your day at school. you laid down on her bed, staring at the ceiling as she talked about how these boys stole her box of apple juice at lunch.
“hey.. you alright?” she asked, obviously concerned about your sudden silence. “yeah, i’m fine. i’m actually just curious about something.” you said it that way so she would ask you what you were curious about. you hated bringing things up out of the blue, it was just easier this way.
“oh sure, what’s up, sweetcheeks?” she rested her head on her palm as she laid on the bed, looking at you with such intent.
“who.. who do you like? who means so much to you that you’d be willing to get kissing lessons from me?” the question froze roseanne up. you saw how her shoulders tensed up and how her face fell. you watched as she sat up and cleared her throat. “um.. can you come here, please?” she asked quietly, patting the space next to her. you pushed yourself up and crawled to the space next to her. “what’s up?”
“um.. how do i say this..” she fiddled with her fingers and nibbled on her bottom lip. she was nervous and you could see it. “hey, are you alright?” you asked as you placed your hands over hers to calm her down. chaeyoung looked up and pulled you in for a kiss.
soft, gentle, passionate. it didn’t matter how many times you kissed her, it always managed to blow your mind. her tongue entered your mouth softly, she pulled you in closer with her left hand on your cheek and right hand on your waist. the lessons you gave her really paid off, she was perfect. she tilted her head to the side to deepen the kiss. once again - it felt like everything around you was floating and you were just on cloud 9. every time roseanne’s lips were on yours, you felt as if everything was just perfect. like nothing could be better. she softly pulled away with her hand still on your cheek.
“it’s you.”
#blackpink#blackpink imagines#blackpink scenarios#blackpink x reader#blackpink fluff#blackpink rosé#park chaeyoung#park chaeyoung x reader#blackpink au#rosé x reader#rosé
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Broken Strings~
ꕥPosted: 7/20/21
ꕥGenre: Fluff, Angst, Smut, College!au, Rockstar!au
ꕥPairing: Fem!Reader x Rockstar!Yunho
ꕥWord Count: 10k+
ꕥWarnings (please read all!!): Yunho’s ex is an absolute asshat, death threats towards both Yunho and reader, mention of knives used as weapons, San is a bisexual king (happy late pride month), unprotected pool sex/public sex (no one is around but I guess it still counts), masturbation (f), foul language, mentions of alcohol intake, reader is mentioned to have dark brown eyes several times which you can just ignore if you have different colored eyes ofc, mentions of a restraining order against an ex, please let me know if I missed something!!
ꕥTag List: @cappujinho @bobateastay @nevieatiny
ꕥA/N: The song lyrics are ones that I wrote myself specifically for this au and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t nervous about posting it. I know there isn’t any tune or anything, but hopefully it sounds like a real song someone might sing. Also I’m not writing angst for a while after this holy shit I’ve been crying too much over this I’m emotional okay
“Date night! Date night! Date night!” I grabbed my boyfriend’s arm, bouncing on my toes.
Yunho raised a hand to cover his ear, scrunching his face, “Babe, I love you, but I think you’ve deafened me.”
I pouted at his tone and crossed my arms, “You’re such a grump.”
“Oh whatever.” He smiled, “You ready?”
I smiled at him and nodded.
Ever since his band, Sidekick Heart, began to pick up traction, he had less free time and our full-day dates once a week soon became date nights every few weeks. Most of his time was spent writing songs, producing them, and practicing endlessly. The fact that he had a tour coming up soon just meant he had even less spare time. I was happy for him, of course, but I couldn’t hide my disappointment that he was leaving.
In middle school, he and three of his friends formed a band for fun, which they kept with all throughout high school. They got good, really good and almost right after they graduated they were signed by a label. Now, three years later, they’d already released two albums and one EP and earned enough money to make a living, which was why Yunho dropped out of college a month ago. Since he had steady career path, he saw no reason to continue and decided to focus on music. He still visited me at college whenever he got the chance, but his visits were becoming more and more sporadic.
We started dating freshman year of college. We had our difficulties as most couples do, but everyday I thanked the stars for pairing us together. I met him on the first day of French class, a day I know I could never forget, no matter how how our future played out.
I sat my backpack on the table in front of me, looking around the empty classroom. I was ten minutes early, so I wasn’t surprised about the lack of students. It was a bit unlikely for me to be so early, but I wasn’t able to sleep the night before and so I had extra time to get ready. With nothing else to do, I took out my phone, reading some missed text messages.
I heard the door open and my head tilted upwards, meeting eyes with a fluffy-haired brunet. He shyly smiled at me and I returned the gesture. The man took a seat in the front row across from me, only a few chairs in between us. I found it cute that he liked to sit in the front of the classroom, too. Very few people did. He turned away from me to place his backpack on the floor and take out a few books. I took the opportunity to look at him. He was attractive, for sure. His short sleeved solid black shirt followed his movements, tattoos peaking through his top. The shirt itself tucked was into ripped jeans, his black shoes matching the outfit, along with various accoutrements. His look was uncommon for college students, most just wore sweatpants with with a casual shirt. I thanked myself for dressing nice that day.
I tilted my head to get a better look at his side profile. He was so handsome that I seemed to forget I was staring. I couldn’t help but get caught up in him, not realizing that I was no longer being subtle.
He spoke without moving to face me, “You’re pretty cute, too.”
“I-I what?” My eyes widened, realizing I’d been caught.
He turned, a charming smile on his face, “You aren’t exactly discreet.”
I took a breath, trying to form a coherent sentence, “Well...can you blame me?”
He pursed his lips, trying to hide a smile, “I appreciate the compliment. What’s your name?”
I hesitated before answering him, which brought a full smile to his face. He moved closer to me before holding out his hand for me to shake. I grabbed his hand and shook it, trying to keep my hands steady. His hand was soft, clearly he took care of himself.
“I’m Yunho.”
I smiled, observing the way he lit up as he turned my hand, placing a delicate kiss on my skin. I felt my face heat up and averted my eyes. Yunho chuckled as he released my hand. Both of us looked up at the sound of the door opening, a group of students entered, followed by a lady who I presumed to be the teacher.
Yunho looked at me, “Meet me after class?”
I nodded, biting my lip as I felt excitement build in my stomach, wanting nothing more than for class to end as soon as possible.
The instant the teacher ended her lecture she left with the rest of the students, who were talking among themselves. My eyes flickered to Yunho to find him looking back at me, his backpack now thrown over his shoulders.
“You have any classes after this?” He asked in a nonchalant manner. Later he confessed to me that he was far more nervous than he appeared, claiming that he fell in love with me at first sight.
I finished placing my notebook in my bag, zipping it up and putting the straps over my arms, “Yeah, unfortunately. I’ve got World Politics in ten minutes.”
“Aww damn. I was hoping we could grab some food.” He reached into his pants’ pocket, pulling out his phone, “Maybe I could get your number instead and we could meet up later?” He wasn’t pushy or demanding, simply asking.
I nodded quickly, “I’d like that, Yunho.”
He suddenly became more shy, the tips of his ears dusting a beautiful shade of pink, “I like the way you say my name.”
I giggled, trying to hide my own shyness. I took his phone and entered my number, really hoping that he would text me. As if he read my mind, he confirmed what I was thinking.
“I’ll text you,” He looked at me with sparkling eyes before shaking his head, like he was pulled back to reality, “Oh uh...you should probably get to class.“ He raised a hand, somewhat awkwardly scratching the back of his head.
“Yeah I probably should. I’ll see you around?”
He smiled, “I’ll see ya.”
-
It wasn’t long before he texted me, and it made my heart flutter that he kept his word. A day later we met up, grabbing ice cream and getting to know each other. He was a dance major and had to practically beg his parents to let him pursue dance. In return they said he had to repay them with getting straight A’s. He had one younger brother who was possibly the biggest baseball fan to ever exist, he roomed with three men he’d been friends with since kindergarten, and he absolutely adored my brown eyes.
“They’re just beautiful.” Yunho gushed, “Both times I’ve seen you they just sparkle and shine like they’ve got their own little galaxies in them. I’ve never seen anyone with such genuine, kind eyes.”
I let out a girly laugh at the compliment and covered my mouth with a hand, “You’re really trying to flatter me, aren’t you?”
“Depends. Is it working?” He laughed as he propped his head on one of his hands, leaning closer to me in the booth we were sitting in. We’d finished our ice cream long ago, now shamelessly flirting and getting lost in each other.
“It might be.”
“Well I do mean it. I’m not only trying to flatter you.”
The ringing of his phone caught our attention. He smiled apologetically and reached for the device. He sighed, reading the contact name and looking back up at me.
“I’m sorry I’ve gotta take this. It’s one of my roommates and it’s entirely possible they’ve set the house on fire.”
I laughed, “It’s okay, go ahead.”
Yunho excused himself as he answered the call, walking outside. I took a look around the shop we were in, smiling at all the decorations when I noticed a woman sitting alone, eating ice cream and staring at me. Her eyes were such an ice blue that they made her intimidating, to say the least. I wasn’t too surprised, I’d dressed nice and all throughout the day I’d been getting looks. Taking it as a compliment I smiled at her and waited for Yunho to return.
“So good news,” He started as he sat back down in the booth, running a hand through his hair, which was way more attractive than it should’ve been, “They haven’t burnt down the apartment, but San—he’s one of my roommates—his car ran out of gas a few miles away from here so I’ve gotta go help him. Can I drive you back to your own apartment first?”
“Oh no, I don’t want to worry you.” I waved a hand, “I can have a friend pick me up.”
He nodded, “If you’re more comfortable with that, sure, but I’d rather drive you home, if that’s okay.”
I nodded, walking with him as he guided me out to his car. We had our first kiss when he dropped me off, leaving me with the promise of another date, and he delivered. Time and time again he proved he truly cared about me, which inevitably led to a relationship.
We heard a loud crashing in the basement of the house and Yunho let out a frustrated groan, “Oh god it’s happening again.”
He walked over to the basement door, opening it and sighing at the loud yells emitting from below.
“What is it this time?” Yunho shouted.
Wooyoung’s voice rung out, “San won’t let me use the controller!”
The man in front of me placed a hand over his eyes, over the situation entirely, “You’re still fighting over that game?”
“Crash Bandicoot waits for no man!”
“San let him have the controller or I’ll come down there and I’ll beat both of your asses!” Yunho shut the door, giving me a tired smile and walking back to me, “You’d think we would’ve outgrown this stage by now. I’d fire them both and hire a new bassist and drummer if I could.”
“Okay that’s an absolute lie, and you say that like you’re any better. I saw you arguing with Seonghwa over the last bag of chips yesterday.”
He pointed a finger at me, not trying to hide the smile on his face, “Okay that was absolutely valid. I bought those and they were mine.”
I smirked. “My point still stands.”
He rolled his eyes playfully, changing the subject, “How about after our date I sing you a couple of our new songs?” He leaned closer, his lips barely grazing my ear, “I wrote a few about you.”
I pulled back from him, feeling warmth spread in my chest. “Really? You did?”
Yunho wrapped an arm around my waist, “How could I not? You’re always my inspiration.”
I let out a string of incoherent gibberish which prompted the most adorable eye smiles from my boyfriend. I felt too honored to put my emotions into words.
“Go on.” Yunho motioned to the front door, “Grab your purse and head out to my car. I’ll let the guys know we’re going and I’ll meet you outside.”
I gave him a salute, “You got it cap’n!”
His eyes warmed, “God, I love you.”
“I know!” I teased before I grabbed my purse and skipped out of the house. The sun would be setting soon and I admired the several hues that were painted within the sky. I sat on the hood of his car, swinging my feet as I saw him walk out of the house.
“So where exactly are we going?” I tilted my head, looking forward to his response.
“Well I’ve got a couple ideas.” He held up his long fingers and counted off on them, “We could go bowling, or we could have a late night picnic, or maybe...” He moved closer, placing his hands on either side of me with a mischievous grin, “We could go swimming.”
My face lit up, “I haven’t been swimming in forever!”
“I know, that’s why I recommended it.” He laughed, “Let’s break into the swimming pool downtown. It’s definitely closed by now so we can be alone.”
I raised my brows at his words, a smile widening on my face, “Don’t we need to bring swimsuits, though?”
Yunho grinned at me and moved a hand to ruffle my hair, “Nope. We’re going without ‘em.” He lifted me off his car, “Hop in, babe.”
-
We approached the fence with our hands interlocked, a new message greeting us. A red and black sign with the words ‘No Trespassing’ was attached haphazardly to one of the metal wires looped through the fence surrounding the pool.
Yunho tsked, “Aw that’s cute. Like that’s gonna keep us out. This is basically our pool anyways.”
I laughed, both of us knowing full well there was no method of security beyond the sign and fence. The pool had never installed security cameras and after word spread that the owner had a fear of advancing technology, we had no worry of being caught.
He cupped his hands, holding them out for me to step on. I placed my foot on his hands as he lifted me up, helping me scale the fence. I stepped back, feeling a thrill as Yunho jumped over. It was probably the fourth or fifth time we’d done this, but each time was just as exciting. We walked over to the edge of the pool, its light blue water and the dark blue of the sunset opposing one another but making a beautiful visual.
“Alright, off we go.” Yunho’s fingers danced to the hem of my shirt, then pulling it off and ridding me of the layer of clothing. He pressed several kisses to the exposed skin, making me shiver.
Yunho then pulled back from me, slowly removing his shirt and giving me a teasing look when he caught me staring at his abs, “I look good, don’t I?”
“Shut up,” I laughed, lightly slapping his strong, tattooed arm before removing my skirt, enjoying the way my boyfriend’s eyes devoured me. I returned the action when I saw him remove his jeans, something he was clearly enjoying as well.
I turned back to the pool only to be thrown over Yunho’s shoulders. He let out a string of laughs as I struggled to get down, fearing that he would throw me into the water.
“If you throw me into the pool I’ll kill you!” I laughed, squirming on his shoulders.
“No...I would never do something like that.” I wasn’t even facing him, but I could hear the smile in his voice, which was my only indication that he was about to throw me into pool.
Before I could try to make any sort of escape, he tossed me into the water. It was cold, but less cold than I expected it to be. I coughed up a bit of water as I resurfaced and when I opened my eyes I squinted at Yunho, annoyed at how attractive he looked with the evil smirk on his face.
“You’re a jerk.” I said with no venom behind my words.
“Yeah, yeah. Brace yourself I’m coming in.”
I barely had time to move before he jumped in, his legs tucked to his chest. “Cannonball!”
I moved my hands in front of my face to block the wave of water coming my way, not feeling any surprise about my boyfriend’s childish behavior. When he resurfaced he faced me with a smile, wading towards me, embracing me in his arms, and wrapping my legs around his waist. He was so tall that he could reach the bottom of the pool without having to swim, unlike me, where I was no near reaching the bottom and needed to swim in place. With a satisfied hum he pressed several wet kisses to my neck.
“I love you,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by my skin.
“I love you too, babe.” I hesitated before I said my next words, still overwhelmed at how strong my feelings were for him, “You’re the love of my life.”
He pulled back with a bright smile on his face, his eyes shining almost as if he was tearing up, “I knew you were the love of my life the moment I saw you. And you’re all mine.” Yunho said before he placed a delicate kiss to my lips.
“All yours, babe.”
His long fingers danced along my sides, grabbing at my hips as he began to attack my chest with kisses. I giggled as the feeling of his stubble tickled my skin.
“You know, you really ‘oughta shave before you get a full beard.”
“Why? Are you saying I wouldn’t look good with one?”
I cupped his face, “You’d look amazing with one, but I thought you didn’t like beards, babe?”
“Hate ‘em.” Yunho’s laugh echoed around us, “Really weird that men can grow them in the first place. But anyways...”
His hands made quick work of my bra, letting it sink to the bottom of the pool. I opened my mouth to scold him but before I could his mouth latched to my right nipple, sucking and nipping on it in a way that made my hands seek out his hair and tug harshly at his locks. Letting out a growl, Yunho placed one hand on the the pool wall for balance and the other on my back, drawing abstract shapes there.
Yunho moved to my other nipple, giving it the same treatment and smiling when he heard my moans. In a flash he removed his hand from my back and pressed me against the pool wall, his hand now traveling to my panties.
As he removed the final item of clothing he ran a finger over my clit, giggling to himself. I gave him a look and he clarified, “Babe, you’re wet enough to fill an entire swimming pool.”
I groaned, pressing my head into his chest, “You make that same god awful joke every time we come here.”
“And as such I couldn’t let tradition die.”
“Shut up and fuck me.” I laughed, promptly helping him out of his boxers.
He continued to tease me after, switching between playing with my clit and stretching me out with his long fingers. By the time he finally gave in, I was a whimpering, pathetic mess, begging for more.
As he aligned with my walls he looked at me with delicate eyes, “Ready, little flower?”
I nodded quickly, chanting ‘yes’ over and over. Yunho once again placed a hand on the wall and hooked one of my legs over his waist, allowing him to thrust deeper inside me. He held my hand with his free one, a simple action that always melted my heart. Despite how long we’d been together, I would always get overwhelmed by him so easily. Everything about him exuded such a strong aura that sometimes just the smallest kiss would leave me breathless. The first time we were intimate he took his hand in mine and assured me he would be gentle, and every time since he’s held my hand. It wouldn’t feel right without our hands together.
“Shit—it’s been way too long since we’ve done this.” I said as he snapped his hips into mine, quickly repeating the action.
“God I know.” He let out a pained groan at the thought of it, “Four months is gonna be fucking awful without you.”
“Guess we’ll have to make do with what we’ve got now.”
“Guess we will.”
The sounds of water splashing and the echos of our moans, a symphony I had become so familiar with, was gradually reaching its crescendo. It was getting harder to keep my eyes open but I forced them to be, needed to memorize everything about this moment. The sweat dripping down Yunho’s forehead, the tattooed muscles he was flexing, the sounds and praise he was emitting, and pleasure we were both feeling--I wouldn’t see nor feel this for the next four months.
A particular snap of his hips had me seeing stars and I called out to him, letting him know I was close. Within minutes, both of us were panting and reeling from our highs. Yunho pressed his nose against mine and both of us closed our eyes, enjoying each other’s presence.
“How come every time we come here it ends in sex?” I giggled.
He blinked and moved a strand of wet hair out of my face, “Because you’re hot and barely wearing any clothes and no one’s around.”
I blushed at his compliment, “I mean like I’m not complaining or anything.”
A cocky smile formed on Yunho’s face, “Well it certainly didn’t sound like you were a moment ago.”
“Yunho!”
The man laughed, lifting me up and spinning me around in the pool before cradling me in his arms.
“I hate to say it, but we do need to head back. The world awaits for us, I’m afraid.”
I sighed, pressing into his chest, “I’m gonna miss you.”
He stilled as he pulled me closer, “I’m gonna miss you, too. You don’t have to miss me yet, though.”
“I know.” I swallowed, wishing I had something more to say.
“Come on, then.” Yunho gave me a quick kiss, “Let’s head back.”
-
Yunho held the front door open for me, giving me a gentle slap on my ass when I walked through. I turned around and gave him a playfully annoyed look, which he only laughed at.
As we walked towards the living room, the sound of a random sitcom filled our ears. Six heads turned our way after hearing our footsteps. Seonghwa was resting his head against his long-time girlfriend. She was a sweet girl and complimented him more than any woman I’d seen him with. They really were soulmates, if they ever existed.
San was sitting holding hands with a man he’d been interested in for awhile. I’d often see him flirting with various men and women, but he never went any further than that, too afraid of commitment. This man; however, seemed to breaking through San’s walls. I really hoped they would work out, San deserved someone as kind as him.
Wooyoung sat across from the them, who acknowledged us first.
“Hey guys. Have fun?” Wooyoung asked, smiling at my soaked hair. He had his arm around a woman I’d never seen before and I was certain that none of us would ever see her again. He had the reputation of a playboy, and every poor woman thought they’d be the one exception, the one to make him stay. I’m sure the allure of being a drummer in a band was part of his appeal, too. Maybe one day, like San, he’d settle down.
The woman became visibly upset when Wooyoung looked me with a teasing glance. Feeling sympathy for her, I decided to do my best to calm her nerves.
I spoke for us, linking hands with my boyfriend. “Yeah, we did. I think we’re gonna go clean up though.” I looked at the woman, “I’m y/n, by the way. I’m Yunho’s girlfriend.”
She didn’t even try to hide the relief on her face. “Oh! I’m Solar. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Yeah,” Wooyoung started, “Best girlfriend he’s ever had. Much better for him than Lucy.”
Yunho glared at the man, “Thought we agreed not to bring her up?”
Lucy, the woman Yunho dated before me, was arguably the scariest person I’d ever heard about. They dated for roughly three months before she became obsessive, to the point where Yunho had to get a restraining order against her. She threatened to hurt all of Yunho’s friends and family, all because she wanted Yunho all to herself. That was about all Yunho ever told me about her. Not that I complained. I didn’t exactly want to discuss his exes, even more so when they were that crazy.
I never told him, but I knew I saw her the first date we went on. I could see the way her piercing, ice eyes saw through me. I had no doubt it was her. I just hope I’d never see her again. Maybe now that she saw he was taken she’d leave us alone. There was an uncomfortable silence following, none of us knowing what to say until San spoke.
“You look like a wet dog, Yunho.” San joked, prompting laughter from a few of us, which seemed like more of a noise of relief rather than one of actual humor.
“Yeah, yeah.” My boyfriend relaxed his shoulders, “I think we’re gonna head in for the night so don’t make too much noise.” Waving them goodbye he caught up with me, placing a hand around my waist.
“Shower with me, doll.”
I placed a hand on his chest, “I would love to.”
-
I came out of the shower wearing my favorite large shirt of Yunho’s, drying my wet hair with a towel. The smell of chlorine had gone away for the most part; whatever chemicals the owner put in that pool always made the smell harder to get rid of. Only a small price to pay, I figured.
My boyfriend, who was much quicker than I was, looked up from his phone as he was splayed out across his bed. His tired eyes smiled at me while motioning me over. Yunho’s own hair was still drying and with his bare face and crooked smile, he was as handsome as he could ever be.
“Hey there.”
“Hey, sweetheart.” He reached an arm out to me, pulling me against him when I took his hand, “How ya feeling?”
“Tired.” I hummed, sleepily smiling against his neck.
“Too tired to listen to the song I wrote for you?”
“No! Not at all.”
Yunho chuckled, slowly brushing my hair aside and turning his head to look at me. As he had countless times, he took a breath before he turned to me, beginning to sing.
“You give me fireworks
I’ll give you the kindest words, my dear
Your love caught me
The moment I met your eyes
And how could I not fall?
Your heart bared, no disguise”
I fought to stay awake although his melodic voice seemed to be lulling me to sleep. I felt myself losing consciousness, but managed to catch the last few lyrics he sang to me.
“Now I sunbathe in the daybreak
Half asleep, half awake
Writing this song
As I hope I’ll dream of you”
Yunho brushed his fingertips brush against my face before he spoke, “Goodnight, flower.”
I muttered some form of a “goodnight” before I felt sleep take over me, nuzzling happily against my boyfriend.
-
I woke up in a panic, unsure why my heart was beating so fast until I looked at the clock. Eleven in the morning. I was an hour later than I should’ve been at my job. It seemed that even unconscious my body knew I was late.
“Oh shit I’m gonna be late for work!” I spoke with wide eyes.
Jumping from Yunho’s bed I stripped myself of his shirt and quickly threw my clothes on. The body that laid beside me stirred, moving the covers aside.
“Are you leaving?” He asked sleepily, his face puffy from sleep and an adorable pout on his lips.
I frowned, “Yeah. I’m sorry we didn’t get to spend more time together, babe.”
He shook his head, “Don’t worry about it. Both of us slept in.”
I tied my hair back, sighing. I was so caught up in my thoughts I almost missed Yunho’s question.
“Sorry what was that?”
He smiled, “You’re coming to our going away party tomorrow, right?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” I moved back to the bed and hugged him, feeling my heart sink. I was proud of him, I really was, yet couldn’t help but feel sad that I wouldn’t see him for so long.
This was the longest tour they’d ever gone on and we’d never been apart from each other that long before. I trusted him and I was confident in our relationship, but realistically, all members of Sidekick Heart were attractive young men and a good portion of their fans were female. I was far more concerned about the female audience doing something than I was about Yunho making a move on another woman.
With one last squeeze of his shoulders I pulled back, goodbyes beginning to fall from my lips before Yunho pulled me back.
“I need a goodbye kiss.”
I pressed my lips together with a smile, gladly indulging him. Giving him one last kiss against the lips, I bid him farewell until the following day.
-
“So how was work?” My roommate asked as I walked in the house, propping her feet up on our couch and tossing a kernel of corn into her mouth, the lighting of the TV illuminating her blanket-covered body.
I sighed, sitting down on the floor next to her, “Other than being an hour and a half late and missing an important meeting I think it went okay. I’m just glad the day’s over.” Rubbing a hand over my face I turned to her, “What about you? How was your day?”
“Pretty damn good actually.” She smiled, removing the blanket and showing me the new ink on her upper arm. It was an assortment of flowers and matched her bubbly personality perfectly. They were now the fifth adornment on her beautiful dark skin, each one of them tempting me more and more to get a few of my own.
“Another one already, Tiff?”
“Listen, you’ll know how addicting they get as soon as you get your first.”
“You sound so confident that I will.”
“Oh I know you will. You’re dating a rockstar, after all. Not to mention he’s the goddamn lead singer and has tattoos of his own.”
“Shut up.” I giggled, “Speaking of, are you coming to the farewell party tomorrow?”
“I plan on it, but I’ll probably be there a couple hours late. My dad’s flying into town for the weekend so I plan on visiting first. I’m definitely coming though.”
I hummed, “Yeah, don’t worry too much about it. We all know it’ll go till sunrise anyway.”
She let out a loud laugh, likely remembering the last party of theirs we went to where she ended up more drunk than I’d ever seen her. She claims she remembers flashes of the night; playing strip beer pong and being dared to steal one of the neighbor’s bushes—which, after much convincing from those who were sober, she decided against it—but didn’t recall half of the hilarious memories of her the rest of us did. Personally, my favorite was watching her hold a tomato soup can and cry over the fact that it could never have children.
Tiff let out a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, turning in my direction. Her words were muffled by her yawn as she spoke, “Imma go to bed now. You good before I go?”
I smiled at her, “Yeah I’m good. I won’t stay up too much longer, just need to go through my nightly routine of looking at the stars, ya know, the usual.”
She nodded, wrapping the blanket around her and heading to her bedroom, “Sleep well, babe. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”
“Back at ya.”
It was a habit of mine, gazing at the night sky before sleeping. It gave me comfort knowing that out there, somewhere, there was something else out there with me. Almost like I wasn’t going through everything alone.
I set my purse down when I reached our kitchen, reaching for a tea pot and tea bags, brainlessly brewing my favorite tea as I thought of what Yunho might be doing right now. It was probably most likely that he was practicing for their tours, but I could only hope he was getting a little bit of rest.
I stepped out onto our porch to look at the stars with a cup of tea in my hands, the night sky twinkling with all the stars it could offer. A slight breeze rustled my hair and I closed my eyes, thankful for the pleasant weather. I heard a sudden snap of a branch and my eyes quickly opened as I searched out property for any sign of an aggressive animal. My eyes finally landed on a human-like figure. Feeling adrenaline run though me, I decided to confront whoever or whatever it was.
“Who are you? What are you doing here?” I spoke, my voice loud but not quite a yell.
The figure took off it’s hood to show their face, and I saw a familiar pair of ice blue eyes, though I hadn’t seen them in years, “I’m here to see you, of course.”
My brain quickly connected her to the woman I hoped I’d never see again.
Lucy.
“Well I don’t want to see you. Leave.”
She pressed a hand to her chest, feigning offense, “But I came all this way! Just to...say hello.”
I took a step towards her, hoping that if I appeared confrontational she would leave me alone. “I don’t know who you are, now please leave. I’m not going to say it again.”
“Oh, you poor girl. You really think you have the upper hand?” She pulled out a knife, and walked towards me at impressive speed, pointing the weapon at my throat. “I know you’ve been seeing Yunho. I. Don’t. Like. That.” She emphasized every word of the last sentence, anger woven within her voice.
I wanted to fight back. Everything in me was screaming to fight back, but I knew I had no chance. I had no idea what she was capable of, and I didn’t dare to find out.
“I dated him first and he’s still mine. You’re going to break up with him, you hear me?” She screamed in my ear, the sound shaking me to my core, “I never want to see you near him again.” She grabbed my jaw harshly, forcing my eyes to lock with hers. “I bet he doesn’t even love you.”
My eyes watered. I knew she was wrong, but with the adrenaline coursing through my veins and the harshness of her words I began to doubt myself.
Her grip tightened and I let out a yelp, “He loves me and I love him. He’s always loved me, not you. Why would he ever love a thing like you?”
She then threw me to the ground, towering over me, “Break up with him. Make him hate you. If you don’t,” She squatted down next to me, once more pointing the knife at my throat, “I’ll kill him myself and make you watch. Then,” She cocked her head, a crazed smile plastered on her face, “I’ll kill you. If I can’t have him, no one can.” She stood, smirking at me, “And you know I will.”
She kicked me in the stomach, watching as I crawled into myself, groaning from the pain. I closed my eyes, hoping she wouldn’t hurt me any more than she already had.
“I’ll be watching you at the party tomorrow. Do it then. Break his heart. I’ll kill him then and there if you don’t.” She looked down at me and scoffed, “And I’ll be bringing friends to make sure the job gets done.”
I carefully opened my eyes to see her stepping over me, walking back into the darkness from which she came. I scrambled back into my house, hyperventilating from the interaction I just had.
I spent the night crying, not able to sleep even for a minute. I tried to think rationally, but there were just too many variables. How many ‘friends’ was she bringing? Would she really kill Yunho in front of everyone? Where would she be watching me from? Is she watching me now?
I could text or call Yunho to let him know, but where would we go from there? He’d want to meet me and she’d kill him instantly. Right?
“Maybe I could pull him aside at the party and warn him?” I murmured to myself, “No, she could probably see that. Maybe there’s people actually at the party who are looking out for us, too.” I covered my face with my hands and fell back into my pillows, weeping as I knew I had to break up with the love of my life.
-
Choosing to wear a yellow dress honestly couldn’t have been more ironic. Yellow was supposed to be a happy color. A color of hope and yearning, innocence and warm days full of laughter. It was the complete antithesis of how I felt and what I knew I had to do. Even worse, the weather was perfect. It was sunny, but not so much to make it unbearable outside. Everything about today made my insides twist.
I took a breath at the door of Yunho’s house, bracing myself for what I had to do. Knocking a few times I heard a commotion inside before the man I came to see opened the door. His smile had never been bigger.
“Baby!” He cheered, pulling me into a bear hug and ruffling my styled hair, “I’m so excited you’re here!”
He looks so ecstatic. And I have to break him.
The thought crushed me and brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn’t let him die. I knew she was serious, I didn’t doubt that for a moment. I grabbed Yunho’s arm, pulling him outside and away from everyone in the house.
I looked at the ground as I felt my lips begin to quiver, “I’m sorry. I just need to get this over with.”
Yunho bent down to meet my eyes, “Hey, hey. What’s going on sweetheart?” His voice was gentle, one of his hands coming to rub the tears from my face, “I’m here for you, whatever it is.”
I looked down, unable to look him in the eyes. I hated myself more than I’d ever hated anyone. “I don’t love you, Yunho.” My hands began to shake beyond my control, my own body knowing I was making a mistake.
“W-what?” Yunho’s voice cracked. A moment of silence passed before he let out a hollow laugh, “Baby, you don’t mean that-”
I looked up at him and immediately wished I hadn’t. Tears were welling in his eyes, his own hands beginning to shake.
“I said I don’t love you Yunho!” I said louder than I intended, “Not anymore. I don’t want to be with you. I’m sorry.”
He took a step back and I noticed his hands clenching, something he always did to keep himself from crying.
“If that’s what you want,” Tears fell from his eyes before he finished his sentence, “Then I’ll support your decision.” He looked to the side, not knowing what else to say.
I wanted nothing more than to throw myself in his arms and explain everything, tell him that I’ve never stopped loving him, not even for a second, but I couldn’t. Instead, I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and looked at him one last time. He was so fucking handsome, so goddamn kind, and here I was doing this to him. Maybe he did deserve someone better.
“Good luck with your tour, Yunho. I know you’ll be fantastic.”
I turned and walked away from him quickly, leaving the house and ignoring the stare I could feel on me. I ran across the yard to my car, starting the engine and leaning my head against the steering wheel. I felt myself lose all oxygen in my body, the only option left to take large gasps of air. My vision was so clouded by tears I couldn’t even see anymore. I’d just lost myself along with my other half. I’d never felt as empty as I did in that moment.
Just then I heard a knocking on my window. I half-hardheartedly lifted my head and felt my heart lurch. Yunho was standing outside my car, eyes red and puffy, looking at me like I was the last person he’d ever see. I opened my car without thinking, my breathing still as uneven as before.
Yunho spoke, his voice coarse and distant, “I’m not asking you to change your mind, but I need you to know that I have always loved you and I always will. That will never change.”
I wiped the snot from my nose but didn’t bother to try and fix the mascara I knew was streaming down my face. I knew I had to look horrible, but he still held so much love for me that it was easy to see in his eyes. I fought myself to not reply, knowing that if I’d open my mouth all I’d say was ‘I love you’ over and over again.
“Is it too out of line to ask for a last hug?” He smiled sadly as more tears poured from his eyes.
I shook my head, running into his arms and embracing him. I felt like I made a mistake the moment I did because I could smell him. He was wearing the cologne I bought him for his birthday. His warm, sturdy chest...everything about him felt like home.
“Goodbye, Yunho.”
-
I arrived at home alone, tears still stinging my eyes. Tiff was nowhere to be found and I couldn’t decide if I was thankful or sad for the fact that she wasn’t there. I barely made it out to our porch before collapsing once again, finding it harder and harder to breathe. I didn’t know how long I was sitting there, it could’ve been one hour or three, but given the setting sun it looked like it was the latter. Once more I heard a noise outside our home, and once more the female figure appeared before me.
“You did good,” Lucy said, twirling her knife in her hands, “Dare I say I’m proud of you.”
“I don’t ever want to see you here again.” I cried, “I did what you want now get the fuck away from me.”
“My, my. You have quite the mouth on you, don’t you?” She tsked, “But you did as I asked, so I might as well comply. Don’t; however, think that you can go crawling back to Yunho and tell him about this. I’ll keep watching you and if you decide to do just that...I’ll follow through with my promise.”
I kept my eyes on the ground, convinced that if I looked up at her I’d attempt to rip the hair out of her head. No anger I had ever felt before could surmount to the rage I was feeling.
“Nonetheless, it was a pleasure doing business with you, miss.”
As soon as she came, she was gone. When I finally let myself look up, I could no longer see her, only darkness. Once again, I was alone.
-
Six months had passed since I broke up with Yunho and today officially made the third new date I’d went on. All of them were absolutely horrible. It wasn’t even that the guys were mean or rude or weren’t attractive, they just weren’t him.
Why am I even trying to move on?
I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes looked heavy, the bags under my eyes ever prominent. I couldn’t fool myself. I’d never be able to be with another man again. I forced myself to hold back tears and reached back to untie my hair, preparing to take a bath in hopes that it would take my mind off of things.
I began to run the warm water as I reached for several candles, lighting them and placing them around the room, trying to forget the entire day altogether. As I waited for the tub to fill I grabbed my phone, opening Instagram for no other reason than to have something to do. Although Yunho and I broke up, I still followed their band account, as well as their individual accounts. Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung were still my friends, after all. Yunho was the only exception. Both of us unfollowed each other early on just because it was too painful. I didn’t hold it against him and hoped he didn’t hold it against me either.
Regardless, my eyes found the most recent post on Sidekick Heart’s account. All four members were shirtless, their hair dripping wet with goofy smiles plastered on their faces. They were standing by a pool, the same one Yunho and I would often break into. I noticed Yunho first, how could I not? His smile wasn’t as wide as the other’s, his eyes a bit colder, but he looked happy all the same. He looked good. Really, really good. He was always fit while we were dating, but he gained more muscle since I last saw him and it didn’t go unnoticed by their fans, either. I clicked the comment section against my better judgement, knowing what I was going to see before I even did so.
“Yunho looks like a fucking goddd”
“So Yunho’s still single right??”
“Yunhooo hmu I beg you”
“Jesus Christ Yunho break me please”
A surge of jealousy rushed through me. I hated when girls said those things when we were together, but now that we were apart it made it even worse. I had no right to be jealous, and that was the worst part.
The water reached my leg that was resting on the side of the tub and I scrambled to turn off the faucet. Doing my best to push the images from my mind I placed my phone aside and stripped from my clothes, settling in the water. I sighed as some water fell out of the side of the tub. It wasn’t a terrible thing to happen, but it seemed to just be another thing to go wrong.
My eyes wandered back to my phone, Instagram still open and the picture I was looking at earlier still on display. He was so fucking hot and seeing that he was standing next to that pool—our pool—made my brain short circuit. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from taking me back to the last night we broke in, the way we teased each other and how it inevitably led to sex. It seemed I had no control over my body as my dominant hand slipped between my legs.
But as much as I wanted it to be, it wasn’t the same. My fingers weren’t as long or slender as his and just nothing about our touches were the same, but the image of him just made my hormones rage. Every ounce of me craved him.
My fingers swirled around my clit, a bundle of pleasure shooting through me at the action. I closed my eyes, letting my body take over and repeat the motions and much as I fought not to, my brain kept replaying scenes of two of us again, and again, and again.
“Such a good girl, aren’t you?” Yunho spoke as I sunk down on his dick, barely finding the energy to lift myself up again even though the noises he made were like shots of espresso.
“Aww, is my baby getting tired?” He cooed, jerking his hips into mine.
“It’s not fair!” I whined, “I’m not good at this and you know it.”
“But we wouldn’t be a good couple if we didn’t encourage each other to work hard, right? Up you go, flower.”
I whimpered and pouted, but still obeyed him. Taking pity on me, Yunho grabbed my waist and lifted me, relaxing his grip as I moved downward. I made a noise that wasn’t understood by Yunho, but it didn’t go unnoticed.
“What was that?”
“Please. More. I need you so bad.” I begged.
Yunho laughed, “I really do have you wrapped around my finger, don’t I?”
I nodded before remembering that he’d probably prefer a verbal answer, “Yes. I’m w-wrapped around your finger.”
He let out a noise of satisfaction before flipping us over into a position so that he would have full control. I grabbed the bedsheets roughly, so much in my own world that I didn’t hear Yunho’s words.
“What was that?” I let out with a series of mewls.
“You’ve got me wrapped around your finger, too, you know? I don’t go an hour without thinking about you anymore. I can’t even have a single conversation without bringing you up. Anytime someone says your name my heart beats out of my damn chest. You’re the only woman for me.”
My legs shook as my high approached, barely able to breathe at it’s intensity. It took me a minute before I could even remember where I was. As I came to my senses, I felt tears biting at my eyes and this time I didn’t bother to hold them back. I watched as they streamed down my face and joined the now-cold water surrounding me. I brought my hands up to cover my eyes, glad Tiff wasn’t home to hear my wailing. She’d been good about staying with me since the breakup, but tonight she just wasn’t here. The hole in my heart felt even deeper now. I wondered if he found someone, if he was happy now. Hell, maybe it was his ex. The thought tore my heart out and ripped it in two. I wanted to be happy for him if it was true, but I just couldn’t be. I was still too selfish. I still wanted him to love only me.
-
New friends, new beginnings or whatever.
That’s apparently what I thought when I began attending more clubs at college after the breakup, meeting new people and eventually finding a really solid friend group. All who happened to really like punk-rock music.
“You should really go with us,” Shang directed his words at me, “There’s a new band popping up that’s playing this weekend. It’s three hours away but they have great music.”
I sighed, not fully convinced although it did sound fun. The last concert I’d been to was one of Yunho’s and though I hadn’t even seen him in what felt like forever, I still couldn’t help myself from thinking of him anytime someone talked about concerts. Sensing my apprehension, the woman beside me spoke up.
“Road trip! Road trip! Road trip!” Tyra chanted in my ear, her black curls bouncing with her as she clapped her hands between the words. “Come on, it would be so much fun and you know it.”
I bit my lip, deep in thought. I knew I would have fun but I just didn’t know if that would outweigh the pain I would feel.
“What’s the band name?” I asked, looking at Shang.
“Honestly?” He scratched the back of his head, “I was a little drunk when I told one of my friends I’d be there so I don’t even remember what they’re called.”
“How do you know they have great music, then?” I laughed, Tyra agreeing with me, apparently not knowing who was playing when she agreed either.
“I mean, my brother listens to their music and he’s got good music taste so they’ve gotta be good.”
I closed my eyes as I felt an oncoming headache, knowing they wouldn’t accept no as an answer. “Fuck it.” I stated, “I’ll go.”
The two cheered, Shang promising that I’d enjoy myself. I doubted it, truthfully, but really it was decided that I’d go the moment the pair brought the idea up to me.
-
Our trio waded through the giant crowd as the doors opened to let us into the venue. It was big, one of the larger concerts I’ve been to. Whoever we were seeing was successful, for sure. The volume at which everyone was speaking was essentially a yell, so I had to do just that to get my messages through.
“I still can’t believe we have no fucking idea who’s playing!” I yelled at Shang.
He laughed, “I got seats towards the front row, though! I didn’t even have to pay for them!”
“That’s not gonna matter if we don’t know any of the lyrics, you dipshit!” Tyra barked.
“Okay okay I should’ve asked, I get that now.”
As we found our way towards the seats, there was a big projector with the words ‘Sidekick Heart’ displayed across it. My heart dropped and I suddenly felt it become hard to breathe.
“You got us tickets to a Sidekick Heart concert?” Tyra beamed, “I love their music and I’m practically in love with San! His vocals are insane! Holy shit, Shang!”
“Ohhhh yeah I remember now.” He chuckled.
I seemed to fade into the background as the two of them discussed their love for the band and the members. All I could think about was seeing Yunho again.
Would he see me? How would he react if he does?...Does he hate me?
I only came back to reality when the audience began to cheer and I saw all the members step onto stage. Seonghwa cradled his electric guitar, in one arm, waving at the audience with the other. Wooyoung plopped down behind the drum set, smiling at the audience while twirling a drumstick. With his bass guitar, San, ever the king of expressions, gave his best smoulder to the audience and it seemed like the audience collectively screamed over him. Then came Yunho out to center stage, his electric guitar in his hands and a smirk on his face as if he knew everyone in the damn building wanted to fuck him. And he’d be right. The spotlights on each of them made them look like actual gods. If I didn’t know them personally I would have thought they were.
Yunho leaned into the mic, his gruff voice taking me by surprise, “Hello everyone! Great to see you all! If you haven’t been to one of our concerts before this is how it’s gonna work: You’re gonna dance, we’re gonna sing, we’re all gonna have a fucking great time tonight!”
The crowd erupted as the first song began to play. It was one of their more popular songs and for good reason. All over it was a really well put together song and I couldn’t help as I began to mouth along to the words. Song after song played, some I knew some I didn’t, and the entire time I couldn’t look away from the man singing. He radiated confidence and looked relaxed as if he’d been performing for decades. I knew he wasn’t as cool as he seemed, I’d given him so many pep talks before performances I couldn’t count them, but as an outsider you’d never know.
I wonder who talked him up this time?
“Alright everyone. This is the last song of the night and-”
The audience booed, everyone upset at the night coming to a close.
Yunho laughed. The sound was rich and beautiful. He was truly enjoying himself. This is what he was meant to do, with or without me. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry.
Yunho’s voice filled my ears. “I know, I know. I’d love to stay a bit longer, too. Here’s the thing though...” He paused and I opened my eyes only to see him looking back at me. His eyes automatically softened as they always did when he saw me, but as if he remembered how we ended his gaze hardened slightly, like he was trying to distance himself. It felt like we’d been looking at each other for hours before he opened his mouth to speak again, but I knew very well that my perception of time had been off for a while.
“Even if we only have this little time left, I’ve truly enjoyed the time we’ve spent together. The fact that it’s coming to an end soon is what makes it so special, I think.” Yunho broke eye contact with me, smiling slightly and glancing back out at the sea of people. “Seeing your smiling faces, your energetic cheers—all of it—is a reminder to me that we’re so lucky to be doing this as a job. Really...I love you all.”
The audience let out a chorus of ‘awws’ which was followed by several rather aggressive ‘I love you too’s.
The lead singer once more smiled, “Now, without further adieu, this is one of our newest songs and it’s called Brown Eyes, here it is.”
The music began to play, all instruments coming together to make a somber tune. Somehow they were always able to write music that perfectly encapsulated emotions or ideas. This one? Loss.
“Since you left you’re still so infused
In how I think and what I do
Can’t seem to get you to leave me alone
Your ghost stayed here and she watches my tears
That run down our picture frames”
Then he found me again in the crowd, no doubt able to see the tears staining my makeup, no doubt able to see how broken I was. And still, he sang.
“I’ve tried hard to fight it
Yet I keep givin’ in
There’s been no one but you
I’m trapped, confined
And your platinum smile still knocks me out
Every single time”
He kept eye contact with me, not once breaking his gaze. It was almost as if he wanted me to break first, as if he wanted me to look away before him. As if he was daring me to leave him again.
San stepped closer to his mic and took his eyes away from his bass guitar, Yunho’s voice being replaced by the purple-haired man. As his voice rang out I only could’ve hoped the next lyrics were about one of San ex’s, not me. Even if they weren’t, Yunho still looked at me.
“It’s not aimed at me
Maybe it never was
But oh darling, you could’ve fooled me”
My eyes flickered down, unable to look at Yunho any longer. His gaze only broke my heart further and in turn I felt my eyes water. After a moment or two, I worked up the courage to look back at him. He was still looking at me like he never moved his eyes. I couldn’t seem to register the lyrics until Yunho began to sing again, his voice drawing me in as it always did.
“You've disappeared without a trace
Left an unsuspecting guise
Love, I need you to know
I’ve been losing far more than sleep
Over those deep chocolate eyes.”
As the song and the show ended and everyone in the crowd cheered, I felt a rush of emotions run through me. Thrilled that they’d become so successful, proud of them for putting on such an amazing show, and hurt because I could still see a sliver of sadness in Yunho’s eyes.
I hurt him.
Yunho then reluctantly said his goodbyes to the audience along with the rest of the members. His jaw tightened as he walked over to Wooyoung, whispering something in his ear before walking off stage. Feeling like I was set in a trance, I grabbed my Tyra’s arm and mumbled something about going to the bathroom before following him. I completely ignored her questions and concerns about where I was going, dead set on talking to him again even though I didn’t have a damn idea what I was going to say.
Somehow, through the giant maze of people, I was able to spot Yunho leaving through the backstage. Instinctively I ran towards him, still having no plan in mind. I only stopped when a purple-headed man appeared before me.
“Y/n!” He smiled, bringing me into a hug, “I missed you so much!” He pulled back from me, “We all did.”
Seonghwa and Wooyoung came from behind me, both wearing sad, kind smiles. They looked healthy and happy, which was all I could’ve asked for them.
“How’ve you been, girl?” Seonghwa cocked his head, genuinely curious.
I hesitated, not sure if I should tell them the truth. But at the end of the day, they were still my friends. “Not...great. If I’m being honest. I was kinda hoping I could talk to Yunho...if I could.”
They all shared a look I couldn’t understand.
Wooyoung spoke up, “We’re having a party at a friend’s house after this, you should come.”
I was surprised, still not fully understanding the situation.
San frowned, “I think it would be good for you two to talk. He didn’t tell us too much about what happened, but I’m sure you had a good reason. You were always so good to all of us.”
“I can text you the address if you’d like,” Wooyoung added, “You still have the same number?”
I nodded.
“Okay, good. We need to get back but we’ll see you there. Take care, okay?”
“I will. Thanks guys.”
San pulled me in for another hug, “Of course.”
They waved as we parted ways and for the first time that night, I felt hopeful. I spotted Shang and Tyra and ran up to them, no doubt a smile on my face as I asked, “Soo...you guys up for a party?”
-
I ditched my friends the moment we arrived, barely even sparing a word with Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung once they nudged me in the direction of Yunho. I didn’t try to think too much about it, knowing I’d explain it all to them later.
He was standing in an empty bedroom, looking at the floor and sipping out of a red cup which likely contained liquor. When his eyes met mine a rush of memories flooded back to me. The first time we kissed, the first time he confessed he loved me, the first time he saw me cry.
The first time I broke his heart.
His eyes raised to mine, his face stoic, “Enjoy the show?”
My mouth opened and closed, not having any clue what to say to him, “Yunho I-”
“I know why you did it.” He said suddenly, “A week after you left me Lucy showed up to one of our shows and tried to convince me it was all a coincidence. Said that I could finally be with her. When I didn’t buy it she finally gave in and told me she convinced you we were better apart. So naturally I called the cops and they arrested her for breaking the restraining order, thank god.” He shook his head, looking disgusted, “You know I never wanted us to be apart. My question to you,” he took a step further towards me, “is why did you do it? Why did you end us?”
When I couldn’t seem to respond he talked once more, “You could’ve told me what she was trying to do. We could’ve worked it out together.” He looked more disappointed and heartbroken rather than angry.
He doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve any of this.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Yunho.” I bit my tongue as I fought back tears, “I’m not asking for you to forgive me. I-I’m just-” I sobbed, “Lucy told me she would kill you if I kept dating you.”
Yunho’s mouth shut and eyes widened, clearly missing that bit of information. I took it as my cue to continue “I don’t know why she did it, but it’s probably because we were happy.”
More tears fell down my face and it became harder for me to talk, but I owed him the truth. I had to tell him the truth. I looked up at him but because of my tears my vision was blurred. Yunho’s hands were tightening into fists as he looked away from me.
“I couldn’t tell you because I had to protect you so I had to make you hate me and I’m just so sorry.” I fell to the ground, my body feeling as heavy as my heart.
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I brought my eyes to meet his own, “I’m sorry.” A tear streamed down his cheek, heavy remorse in his eyes, “God she’s fucking awful.”
A laugh got caught in my throat, “Yeah she is.”
He set his cup down somewhere along the way a his hands cupped my face, finally whispering the words I’d only heard in dreams, “I still love you so fucking much. I never stopped loving you. I never even tried to stop because I know I couldn’t.”
I jumped into his arms and kissed him hard, unintentionally knocking him to the floor. He met my lips with just as much fire, groaning when I unconsciously bucked my hips into his, all my sexual frustration still pent up.
“I missed you so fucking much.” Yunho growled, obviously feeling needy too but deciding against it as he wrapped his arms around my waist, speaking in between kisses, “I missed your cute laugh. I missed your lips. I missed your fucking awful jokes. I missed the way you’d look at me whenever you told me you loved me. I missed your gorgeous body and your smile. I missed your moans and the way you arched your back when we’d have sex. I missed how alive you made me feel.” He pulled back to look at me, “My life had no purpose without you.”
I took a breath, tears once more falling, “Mine didn’t either.” It wasn’t anything profound or emotional, but it was the truth. It didn’t.
Gently picking me up, he placed me on the bed. His eyes were raw, as emotional as they could ever be. Taking my hands in his, he looked at me as if I would disappear at any minute.
“Stay with me. Come with us on the rest of the tour. If you can’t take a vacation we’ll hire you as an assistant. If you can’t do that we’ll make some other kind of accommodation. Just stay, please. Please be mine again.”
I looked at the man in front of me. The tough-looking, six-foot tall, tattooed, strong man that could probably scare the shit out of anyone. Yet here he was, bearing his heart to me and being as vulnerable as a person could be.
I smiled, feeling my heart swell. “I’ve only ever been yours.”
-
The morning was bright, lighting directly hitting my eyes. I cursed myself for not closing the blinds the night before and blinked off my sleep when I heard a familiar pleasant sound.
Jumping down from the bed I put on the new fluffy bathrobe my lover bought me. I followed Yunho’s voice out to my porch, realizing I was listening to a new song of his. The man was strumming a guitar, a beautiful melody falling from his lips. When he noticed me, he smiled and continued to sing.
“I’m in a vivid yellow mood
You’re my muse, my home and room
And now that I have you again
What could I ever fear?
Oh do me a favor, dear
And inscribe your name on my sleeve
Let me keep it there forever
Because you’re better than any daydream.”
#ateez#kpop#imagines#ateez au#ateez fluff#ateez imagines#ateez smut#atzinc#fluff#ateez yunho#rockstar au#yunho au
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